#yet i never made anything bc i was like.. 10. and i was as creative as a rock

[kimasousparky]

no thoughts head empty mr. m au

bros being both brainwashed but!!! theyre still very loyal to each other even if they dont remember each other and think theyre just allies ejhfjfk. i like to think the actual reason mr. l hates mario in spm is bc it was needed to twist his love for his brother around and any amount of respect otherwise would make him hesitant to attack him. here, well... mr. l is still loyal to the count first, but mr. m himself is loyal only to mr. l

basically, mr. l takes the lead. mr. m doesnt care at all about being the leader of their duo, he doesnt have the drive nor thinks he's suited for it so he leaves it at for mr. l since he seems to like the role and he's way smarter than mr. m is. i mean, if it depended on him alone, he'd just throw hands at peach and bowser until he won. but if mr. l thinks they need a plan, sure, he'll go with it. he doesn't get why they need a robot or the need for a monologue, but sure sure, if mr. l deems it important then it's fine (as long as he doesnt have to speak, then monologues are fine)

and alas:

he's so so so so interested in peach. from the first time he saw her, he was like "oh im interested" immediately. a beautiful tall princess with silky blonde hair and soft features courageously traveling to save the world? oh sign him up! and then after she manages to defeat him in battle, he's like "oh im VERY interested" cuz besides all these qualities, she can even beat him up??? shit, he's in love!! yeah let's go!!!

peach obviously doesnt reciprocate. seriously, who's this guy?? (nevermind he resembles mario so much it hurts, but UGHHH she must be strong it's not him dont be swooned by his charming smile aaaa)

and please consider the scenario of peach rejecting mr. m with "i'm already interested in someone else" and mr. m angrily assumes he has a rival somewhere that he gotta defeat (that just happens to be himself idhjfkglf)

(maybe i'll make a post on a roleswap aka super paper luigi later, woo yeah)

[ireadwithmyears]

address the letters: “to the holes in my butterfly wings”

pairing: Kix and GN padawan reader (platonic)

Word count, guys it’s basically 10 K 💀bc apparently I am in capable of writing anything short.

tags/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, mentions of blood and injury, medical procedures

summary:

In which, the CMO of Torrent Company discovers that you, a Padawan under his care have been hiding injuries and skipping medical checks, and now must take care of you as you suffer the consequences of your actions.

Also known as

Why you should never hide an injury from Kix. he will find out, and he will drag you off to the medbay so that he can take care of whatever mess you’ve made of yourself, scolding you all the wile.

“Look what I found on my bunk.”

You’re interrupted from eating your sandwich in the Cantina when Fives plops down beside you at the table, setting down a tray of food and waving a pink slip of paper in your face.

You’re about to tell him that “Can’t you see that you’re eating and get this paper out of my face,” when your eyes catch on three words written in bold text across the top of the page.

Mandatory vaccination updates. 

The sandwich, that up until this point has been the absolute centre of your attention, listen, you’re fighting a war and you have to appreciate any opportunity that you get to eat food that isn’t bland ration bars, drops out of your suddenly limp hand as you snatch up the paper, now very interested in the contents.

“When did you get this?” you ask slowly, you’re voice distracted, beginning to chew on your lower lip, already feeling the nervous coil in your stomach.

“When I came back to my bunk after the debriefing we had this afternoon. Apparently everyone got one. I bet you 10 credits that your master is going to pretend that he didn’t see it, and try and avoid it until Kix has to tear apart the ship looking for him and drag him to the medbay.” Fives chuckles.

Master Skywalker’s reputation for trying to avoid the medbay at all costs is widely known throughout Torrent Company..

“Kix is going to have a field day. I’ll give it to general Skywalker, he has some creative hiding places,” he continues, eyes lighting up at the memory of Anakin, half hazardously crammed into a supply closet, folded in an impressive, yet uncomfortable looking position as he forced his unwitting tall limbs to fit in the cramped space.

Unfortunately for Kix, your masters habit of avoiding the medbay whenever possible has rubbed off on you, though, you don’t think it’s for the same reason. Your avoidance stems from a place of fear, and, okay, a stubborn insistence that you can take care of yourself, which yes, definitely like master, like apprentice.

But that also stems from a fear. You’re determined to prove yourself, especially being a young Padawan working with those who are much more experienced than you. You don’t want to risk being taken off the field because of some stupid injury, and letting those who rely on you down, especially your master, who’s always bouncing back and getting up and ready to take on whatever is next regardless of what kind of peril he’s just come out of. You want, you need, to prove that just because you’re a Padawan, you’re not a liability, but an asset. You can be strong and resilient like master Skywalker.

So, you avoid. You dodge and you ignore and you pretend not to notice when the routine medical check dates come and go without your attendance. You know it’s only a matter of time before Kix gets on your ass about it. You’re surprised that you’ve kept it up this long. But, this only bolsters your confidence in being able to avoid another successfully.

“I’ll be right back,” you say, trying to sound nonchalant, setting the paper back down on the table before you run off into the crowd.

*

Sure enough, there is an identical slip of paper that’s been placed on your bunk. But conveniently, Jedi master Aayla Secura is going on a diplomatic mission to amid rim planet in a last ditch effort to try and convince them not to secede from the republic during the date that’s listed on the page when you’re scheduled for your vaccinations.

Earlier this morning, master Skywalker had asked if you had wanted to join this mission, saying that it would give you a break from being on the frontlines, and it would be easy enough to arrange, as master Secura would rendezvous with the 501st before she departed.

This morning, you had turned him down, listing several reasons as to why you needed to stay with the 501st. Your troops needed you, diplomatic missions were boring anyways, and you didn’t think that you would be of much help to the experienced and capable master Secura, who was a formidable diplomat in her own right. You didn’t think you would be able to add anything of particular value to the conversation, at least nothing that master Secura wouldn’t be able to say much more eloquently and better.

Now though, the only thing that’s running through your mind is the fear of needles and the dread of going into the medbay and that’s enough to make you reconsider everything you had said.

When you tell master Skywalker that you’ve changed your mind, and would actually like to accompany Aayla on her mission, he’s slightly confused considering you had been so adamant that you were needed here only just a few hours ago. 

But, he knows that as a Jedi, you need diplomatic experience. Experience that, before the war, would be very easy for Padawan’s to come by. He knows that you don’t have nearly as much as you should.

These are unprecedented times, though, and Padawan’s being trained during an active war is not ideal. He wants for you to be well-rounded. He has hope that your future won’t always involve war at the centre of it, and any opportunity that you get to learn how to be a keeper of peace should always be encouraged, especially during these times.

 So he gives in pretty easily, and when master Secura arrives, you happily join her. When the ramp of the ship seals behind you and you’re sitting with her in the cockpit, the warm relief that flows through your bones is palpable. 

“Success,” you think to yourself triumphantly.

*

Your triumph, however glorious it might have felt in the moment, is short-lived.

In spite of the fact that some old injuries, that you honestly thought you had done a pretty good job at taking care of yourself, were starting to aggravate you again, the unexpected joy and relief that weaved itself through the force, openly shared between you and master Secura, surrounded you like a warm blanket, protecting you from feeling the things that hurt you.

The planet you had just visited had agreed to stay with the republic, after a tense three days of debate between its political factions. The victory Was a surprise, considering how vehemently the opposition pushed to secede, but it was not unwelcome.

Aayla’s T-6 shuttle docks in the hanger bay of the much larger 501st transport. As you wait for the doors to open and the ramp to fold down before you, you’re still riding on that high, feeling, for the first time in a long time, the thrill of a success. One that you are unable to feel on the frontlines, because even when your battles result in a victory, you are surrounded by so much death and violence that in the end, you don’t really feel like celebrating. 

You’ll never admit it to your master, but privately, you think to yourself that maybe diplomatic missions aren’t as boring as you thought they were. You were able to help resolve a conflict, peacefully, without even having to brush your fingers against the hilt of your lightsaber, which, nowadays, is becoming more and more of a rare occurrence. But it’s what Jedi do, or at least, what they’re supposed to do, so you have to embrace the gratitude of the experience you just had, and try and take it with you going forward.

Your thoughts are preoccupied with these ideas swirling around your head, so you don’t see him until you’re stepping out onto the ramp of the T-6, descending into the hectic and busy as usual crowds of the hanger bay.

When you do, though, you stop dead, and your heart begins to race. 

Shit.

Directly in front of you, at the bottom of the ramp, stands Kix.

One look at his expression, and your stomach flips.

His lips are set in a thin, unreadable line, his brow creased as he observes you with pinpoint focus. Stern, brown eyes observe your every movement. There’s no question that the second you step off the ramp, he’s going to pounce on you like a cat seizing a mouse. 

He stands at attention, body forced into an unbending straight line, such positions you mostly see on the shiny’s, new troopers who are freshly trained during their first days out on the field. His hands are placed on his hips, the position that he assumes before he’s about to give someone, it’s usually your master who you’ve seen it directed at, the lecture of their life.

“Keep moving,” your brain supplies. “Act nonchalant, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll be fine.”

You feel your feet hit solid ground, and your speed picks up, all along, your brain is screaming at you to move. It’s weird how now that he’s standing in front of you, every injury you’ve accumulated over the past weeks is beginning to hit you, all comfort and protection that the force has been giving you to keep you going rapidly vanishing with each step you take.

The uncomfortable angle that your shoulder is sitting at, the pulling of stitches in your leg as you increase your speed. It throbs and aches with sudden abandon. But your fists clench, and you do your best not to falter under Kix’s unwavering scrutiny, just knowing that he’s looking for any flicker of weakness, any sign of pain that registers on your face.

“Just keep going, and maybe, you’ll be able to slip past...”

He steps in front of you, reaching an arm out to easily intercept your path. He says your name, in a tone that breaches absolutely no room for trying to ignore it.

You jump, startled in spite of yourself. He’s effectively got you cornered, and seeing that there’s no way out of this, Your nerves begin to skyrocket, raising like the sound of alarm bells in your head. You look up, eyes meeting his unwaveringly stern expression, And suddenly, you wish that the floor would open up and swallow you whole.

He looks down at you, and he must see something in your disposition that belies your true feelings, because though his face remains set, his eyes somewhat soften, and when he next speaks, his voice is quiet but firm.

“Come with me, please. I need to see you in the medbay.” Though he’s phrased it as a request, you know that it is an order, and one that you must follow.

As a medic for the GAR, and this is something that you’ve heard him say to many a complaining troopers being escorted to the medbay when they don’t want to go, it is well within his rights to exercise such authority and make these orders. Because when it comes to the health and safety of every 501st personnel, whether you’re a Jedi general, commander, or Padawan, Kix immediately outranks you.

You look down at the floor, suddenly finding the marks that are speckled across it very interesting, and mumble a defeated and quiet “Yes sir.” 

When he turns, and you hesitate to follow, he lets out a gentle sigh, moving to place a hand on the small of your back. His voice is low, but reassuring as he ushers you forward.

“Come on, kid, you’re okay,” he breathes, and in spite of the fact that you’re still thinking that jumping out of an airlock would be better than this, your feet, still unwilling, but the slightest bit reassured, begin to move.

*

Coric giving you a subtle pitying glance as he’s reading over a patient’s chart when Kix escorts you into the medbay makes you want to vomit.

Between the two medics,  Kix has the reputation of being a hardass because he’s the CMO. Make no mistake, you do not want to get on either of their bad sides. But, given the choice between the two right now, you think you’re more equipped to handle Coric, who can usually be counted on to soften the blow a bit, with enough pleading glances and apologies.

Your eyes flit to the door that you’ve just passed through, because stupidly, your brain is still trying to make the calculations that if you can just duck out of Kix’s grasp for two seconds, you’d be able to make a run for it.

Unbeknownst to you, however, both medics have been carefully observing your every movement since you’ve entered. Coric, remaining completely calm and at ease, rises to his feet, moving swiftly to stand in the doorway in several long strides. He casually leans against the frame, arms folded.

“Don’t even think about it, baby Jedi. Your master has attempted the same thing you are considering, and he has always failed,” he says, keeping his voice light and non-threatening, making it clear that you need to give up on your fantasy of bolting out of here, but also not trying to scare you off..

You’re just beginning to wonder how the kriff they were able to read you so easily, with one covert glance determining that you were about to bolt when Kix removes his hand from the small of your back, instead, fingers coming to gently grip your shoulder.

The change in his hold is obvious. He is fully prepared for if you try to run. He gives your shoulder a squeeze, in what you interpret as a warning not to. 

Unfortunately, he’s just touched on an injury, you’re not entirely sure what you did, but you messed up your shoulder the last time you were on the field, and even the slight pressure elicits a sharp intake of breath that you’re unable to stop from escaping your lips, and that immediately has the attention of both medics laser focussed on you.

Kix’s anticipation evaporates and quickly melts into concern. Carefully, so carefully, he turns you to face him, keen eyes sharp as they analyze your face.

“Hey,” he calls softly, waiting for you to look at him. “Tell me where it hurts,” he says, so gently that it makes your eyes burn with shame. You look down at your feet.

“That’s uh... that’s, a loaded question,” you admit sheepishly, trying to keep your tone light and joking, in spite of the fact that now that you’re thinking about it, the list of injuries you’ve sustained without reporting to the medbay is a lengthy one, and might make Kix have a stroke.

Kix lets out a controlled, slow breath, eyes momentarily finding the ceiling as he silently begs the stars to give him strength. 

“Kaysh Mirsh solus,” he mutters to himself.

You’ve heard Kix toss that phrase around the medbay on multiple occasions, and though you’re uncertain of what it actually means, he usually brings it out when one of his brothers has done something that he would consider incredibly stupid, which is often.

Coric makes a noise of agreement. “It appears that our stupidly self-sacrificing general has passed on his stupid self sacrificing behaviour onto his apprentice,” he groans. “Will we ever know a day of peace?” 

Kix looks back down at you, his expression calm and restrained. “Come on, then, let’s see what we’re dealing with here,” moving his hand to your uninjured shoulder, he steers you both further into the medbay.

*

Your eyes don’t leave the ground, but you can hear the sound of a privacy curtain being pulled shut around the cubicle that Kix has brought you to. 

When an eerily familiar pink slip of paper is being held up in front of your downcast eyes, you cringe, Arms wrapping around yourself in defence

You can’t even pretend that you haven’t seen it before, because the words mandatory vaccination updates have been circling around your brain the whole time you were out on your last mission.

“Do you know why the GAR enforces these?” Kix begins, and his voice is too measured and calm. 

You lift a brow, questioning. Does he seriously expect you to answer this? Isn’t the answer obvious? 

“Uh... so that we don’t get sick?” You answer, uncertain as to what he’s getting at.

He nods, his face displaying a slight flicker of approval. “Yes, that is one reason as to why, and it’s an acceptable one,” he acknowledges. His frown deepens as he continues. “However, one must look at the much larger picture, at every personnel aboard this ship. The most important reason why mandatory vaccinations are enforced is so that we can avoid many people getting sick and spreading illness to the rest of the crew, so that we may remain fully functional and operational, continuing to serve and protect the people of the republic.”

You squirm beneath the scrutiny of his gaze. You’re starting to see where he’s going with this, and it’s incredibly discomforting.

“I would’ve thought, that as a Jedi, you would be able to more easily see this bigger picture than most others,” he observes mildly. “After all, I know, and I’m sure everyone who spends a considerable amount of time with you can see that there is so much compassion and care for others within your very nature.”

His voice is so genuine, laced with such real kindness in his tone that it makes your eyes sting. Your heart constricts, because he’s just pointed out something that you hadn’t even considered in your selfish haste to avoid this.

By avoiding your vaccinations, you have put every member of the 501st who works with you in danger.

Your arms wrap  tighter around yourself, and you can’t bring yourself to look anywhere but at the pristine white floor beneath your feet.

Kix senses that he’s hit a mark, and his voice gentles considerably. “I also understand that you are young, and still learning to see the bigger picture and how your actions can affect those around you.”

“I, I didn’t, I was scared and I just I didn’t think about...” your voice trembles as you try to answer, tumbling out in a rush of words that race as quickly as your heart. 

“I understand, and it is perfectly reasonable for you to feel that way,” he keeps his voice level and measured. “However,” he continues, and you know what he’s about to say even before he says it. “We still have to face the things that scare us. If you had simply told me how you were feeling, we would have figured out a way to navigate it.” His face is reassuring when you dare to glance up from the floor that you’ve been resolutely staring at for this whole conversation.

“We still will figure out the best way to proceed. However, these vaccination updates are very low on my priority list of concerns when it comes to you, compared to this,” and he holds up a datapad, displaying medical records with your name typed neatly across the top.

The last several appointment entries are highlighted in red, indicating that you did not attend any of them. 

“Do I need to remind you that these appointments are not optional. Any member of Torrent Company who goes out on the field must report to the medbay upon return for examination, as well as attend our regular medical checks to ensure that you are fit for active duty.” It’s clear from the tone of his voice that this is a lecture that he is very practised in delivering.

You lift your head, finally looking directly at him. He’s already made you admit a fear that you desperately wanted to keep to yourself. You try and summon what remains of your dignity. 

“What do you want me to say, Kix?” There’s a hint of defiance in your voice. 

“Do you want me to admit that I avoided these because I had injuries that I didn’t want you to know about? Because yes, the truth is that I did.” Your eyes level with his as you try to make him understand. 

“I was scared of the medical procedures, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?” You snap, not particularly annoyed with him, but more annoyed at the fact that your answers sound so stupid out loud. 

“But I was more scared of the fact that you were probably going to take me off the field, and I couldn’t, I couldn’t let that happen. My master was relying on me. Everyone was relying on me, and I couldn’t let them down.” You try to shrug off his concern with a dismissive wave of your hand. “Besides, I’ve been doing fine,” you say evasively.

Kix does not rise to the bate of your seeming anger. He’s much too practised and controlled to let it affect him. He also has the uncanny ability to look at someone, and see everything, read through their feelings, whether they’ve been acknowledged or not, and understand them. So, even though you’re trying to push him away, with what at first glance appears to be frustration, underneath it all, he can tell that it’s just as plainly  fear.

He meets your storm filled eyes unflinchingly, levelling you with a look that is equal parts stern and unwavering, and equal parts concerned and filled with compassion. It makes your insides twist with guilt, and you want to look away, but you can’t bring yourself to as he speaks, his voice calm but steely.

“Are you fine?” he asks, an eyebrow raising as he tilts his head to look at you, his gaze clinical, assessing, even as you just stand there in front of him.

. “I already know that there’s something wrong with your shoulder. But aside from that, I’ve been observing you since you got off your transport. The way you move is slow and careful, not at all like the usual way you dash around the ship. Even now, you’re hesitating to put much weight on your right leg.” He ticks off the things he’s noticed on his fingers like a list.

“Apart from the fact that skipping these mandatory appointments have consequences. If you had kept this up, I would’ve had to bring this to our superiors, that includes the Jedi council,” he gives you a pointed look, even the mention of the high Council makes you shiver. in your experience, whenever you and your master have been summoned to speak with the council, it’s always to be reprimanded, and never good.

. “You could have been Court-martialed,” he says, knowing that his words will hit the severity of the situation home.  

You falter, stepping back as you feel your eyes go wide. “Court-martialed?” you breathe, feeling the blood draining from your face. 

He gently takes your arm, guiding you to sit on a bed as he continues, voice softening. “It is very clear that you are hiding injuries, and though I can understand why, in premise, You did this, the reality is that this will begin to affect your performance in battle. It will not just affect you. You will put yourself, as well as the entirety of the people you are leading, in danger. People could get hurt.  You could get hurt. Because you would be putting not just yourself, but others, in unnecessary danger, your ability to be in the position of a commander could be called into serious  question by your superiors, and for good reason” 

As much as he keeps his voice low and calm, you can sense that he’s disappointed in the way that you’ve handled yourself. Your teeth sink into the inside of your cheek, forcing the tears that prick at the back of your eyes to not fall. You hate disappointing people, and the fact that you’ve managed to disappoint Kix, one of the kindest people you know, makes you want to curl up into a ball and never show your face in public again.

“And that, the safety of yourself, and everyone aboard this ship, is my priority. It is much more important to me than having to report to any superior. The fact that you hold your safety, and by extension, the safety of  those around you, with such blatant disregard, is what concerns me the most, and that is what I need you to understand.” 

There’s a certain gravity in his voice that you’ve never heard before, but it slams into your chest and hits you like a ton of bricks. The implications of what you’ve been doing, of what could have happened to those around you, to his brothers, because of your inability to face your fears begin to swirl around your head with a rapidity that makes your heart race. 

These thoughts come unbidden, and too fast for you to process. The tears, that you’ve been so desperately trying to push back, spring free and begin to fall down your cheeks, unprompted, slowly, and silently. You don’t have time to stop them from coming.

Kix knows that he’s been very direct, and very blunt with you, deciding that this would be the only way to get through to you. He hates having to do it, though. Kix considers himself to be a fairly good judge of character, and he knows that you have such a caring, gentle heart and strong presence wherever you go. So, watching you break in front of him like this pains him.

Your breath hitches in an unsteady gasp as you look up at him, tears blurring your vision. 

“I’m sorry, Ori’vod,” your lip trembles as your voice breaks, wanting to curl in on yourself. “Ni ceta,” you get out in barely a choked whisper.

But he hears you, and it breaks him. 

You’ve never referred to him as ori’vod before, and the idea that you consider him as such, as a big brother, awakens his protective, instinctive nature to gather you close and keep you safe from harm. 

His Vod, mostly his batchmate, Jesse, calls it his mother hen instincts.

He can’t help it, though. Your voice, sounding so much smaller than he’s ever heard it, trembling and filled with tears, has broken what’s left of his resolve, and gently, very gently, mindful of the fact that you’re injured, he takes you into his arms, holding you close to him. Your head buries against his shoulder, and he easily cradles you there, feeling every sharp intake of breath as you cry.

“Oh, adika, shh,” he soothes, hand coming up to gently stroke your hair as he continues to speak softly to you. “You’re okay, I promise, everything is going to be alright. I’ve got you, we are going to sort this out.”

*

“Well,” he says, reading over the results of the medical scan he’s just performed. Would you believe me if I told you that a dislocated shoulder is the least of your concerns?” 

Your eyes find the ceiling, and you exhale a slow breath before asking, “how bad?”

He keeps his voice neutral as he relays the results of the scan to you. “According to your last medical check, you were diagnosed with Iron deficiency anemia, not incredibly uncommon, what with our limited access to rations and food with the proper nutrients,” his brow creases as he continues. “However, preliminary scans indicate that your haemoglobin levels haven’t much improved.”

He gives you a look.“You have been taking the supplement you were prescribed?” he asks, in a way that makes you suspicious that he already knows that the answer is no.

You avoid looking at him. “I was, but they kept making my stomach feel queasy all day, so I stopped.”  

Kix Lets out a long suffering sigh. “An issue that we easily could have rectified by changing your treatment plan if you had just let us know,” he scolds. “Nonetheless, I’d like to do a blood test to get exact confirmation of those levels and see how bad the numbers are so that we can Start getting them back up to baseline.” 

Your stomach does a flip and you cringe silently at the mention of a blood test.

Kix continues, consulting the scan results that are displayed on a datapad. “You’ve got untreated burns on your fingers.” He raises a curious eyebrow at you and your cheeks flush.

“They weren’t entirely untreated, I put them under running water,” you try to argue. The unimpressed look he gives you stops you dead in your tracks.

“It wasn’t entirely my fault,” you defend. “I was fixing one of the starfighters that got hit during our last airstrike. I got R2 to help me with the repairs but he wasn’t listening to my instructions. He crossed two of the wrong wires and caused the circuitboard to spark.”

“And that is why you should never ask R2 for help,” he says with a hint of amusement in his voice. “Those burns weren’t given time to heal, and the fact that you’re constantly wielding a lightsaber has exacerbated them. I will apply a burn ointment to them that should take away the pain and speed the process of healing.” 

He fixes you with a look.  

“The most concerning thing is The blaster wound on the front of your right  calf. Really, vod, you should know that injuries being treated and stitched up on the field, especially when not done by a medic, always should be looked over by a medic as soon as possible, due to the unsanitary environment that they were performed in.”

“Tup did his best to stitch it,” you say, feeling the need to defend the brother who, in spite of the fact that he was not a medic, sutured you up as you took cover from separatist battle droids.

“I don’t doubt that he did. I was the instructor who took every single one of the troopers on this ship through their mandatory medical courses, and I did not let them pass without proving that they were adequately able to handle emergency first aid on the field. However, it still remains that you’ve picked up an infection, and to treat it, the sutures will have to be removed, the wound reopened, and extraction of the infected tissue, as well as a course of both IV and oral antibiotics to clear up anything that remains.”

You stare at him, your eyes growing wide with horror as he explains. “How?” You ask, alarmed.

He senses your nerves and leans forward, taking your hand and running his thumb along the back of it reassuringly. “This is a surgical procedure, performed under general anesthesia.” 

You flinch at his words, and your fingers tighten around his with anxiety, needing something to hold onto. 

“I know that sounds scary, especially if you’ve never been put under before. But I promise, this is a fairly common operation. Me and Coric will both be here making sure that you’re okay the whole time.” he continues to stroke his thumb along the backs of your knuckles.

“Let’s take this one step at a time, though. We’ll take care of the things that are manageable, first,” he says, giving you an encouraging smile.

*

“Hey uh...” you say nervously, watching with anxiety fluttering in your stomach as Kix ties a band just above your elbow, prepping you for the blood draw. The way the band tightens, restricts  and squeezes around your arm Makes you feel trapped. You hate it.

“I have... I’ve had, issues in the past when it comes to these,” you say awkwardly, not knowing how to explain.

Kix only looks up at you, raising a perceptive brow. “Are you referring to your predisposition of fainting whenever a blood draw is performed?” he asks, completely unfazed. 

It’s your turn to raise your eyebrows in questioning. “Don’t worry, Coric already has this listed in your file. I’m going to get you to lie down when we do it.”

He has the sensitivity and grace not to mention the fact that he also knows this because he walked into the medbay to find Coric absolutely tearing into a junior medic for letting you leave too soon after you had gotten a blood draw, resulting in you crumpling to the floor in a faint right outside of the medbay doors. 

At your continued staring, he adds, his voice softening. “It’s a normal reaction, that likely is exacerbated because of your low haemoglobin levels. There’s nothing wrong with you, Vod’ika.” he reassures, gently guiding you to lay down on the bed. “Now, just lay down for me, and we’ll get this over with quickly, and if you faint, you faint. It happens, no big deal, I’ll be right here regardless.”  

And because you’re you, you do faint.

The needle itself is always not as bad as you anticipate it being. The Sting, though prominent,  is small and quick and over before you have time to fixate on it. 

It’s only when he’s pressing a cotton swab into the crook of your arm, encouraging you to keep it in place while he puts a Band-Aid over top, that you register the familiar feeling of drowsiness, vision blurring and ears beginning to ring, that always comes before you pass out.

You think that you might give him some indication, some warning, because he’s removing your hand from where it’s been pressing against the cotton round, replacing it with his own, much more steady one. Everything around you is muffled, and it’s jarring, but in a way that is too far away from your immediate concerns to really react to it.

When you come to, he’s pressing a cool, damp cloth to the back of your neck, other hand gently stroking hair away from your forehead. His voice fades back into your consciousness, a stream of gentle, soothing words as your eyes flutter open.

The feeling of the cloth cools your heated skin, and the hand gently running through your hair brings your senses back to focus, grounding you.

“Easy, adika, i’m right here, you’re safe,” he brushes his fingers against your cheek, and when you react, leaning into his touch, he gives you a small smile. “That’s it, there we go, you’re back. Everything’s good,” he soothes, gently stalling your movement when you attempt to sit up.

“Not right now, vod, stay down for a few more minutes. I’ve already got the blood work running through the scanner, and we should have its results quickly, okay.” You give him a small nod, still not really having the energy to do much else. You close your eyes, taking deep breaths as you come back to yourself, and when the scanner beeps, indicating that it completed its diagnostics, you jump slightly.

Kix moves over to check it as you slowly sit up. “Okay, so, your numbers are definitely not nearly where they should be he says, clearly unimpressed.

“But, Once we have taken care of your more serious injuries, will start you with an iron infusion delivered through an IV before transitioning back to pills. Don’t worry, we’ll have you on a much smaller dosage so that we can hopefully circumvent the discomfort you had in your stomach,” he says with optimism, which makes you feel slightly better about the fact that he’s just mentioned an IV. You’re not given much time to fixate on it, though, because he’s already turning away from the scanner, moving back to you.

“Let’s not worry about that right now, though. We have enough problems having to deal with the mess That you’ve made of yourself. I will do my best to resist calling you a di’kut as much as possible,” he says, hands on his hips, and in spite of yourself, it actually makes you laugh.

*

You didn’t realize how sore and irritated the burns on your hands were until you couldn’t hold back the audible sigh of relief that fell from your lips as soon as Kix began applying the burn cream to them. The pain instantly vanished, leaving a pleasant, cooling sensation behind. He wrapped small bacta patches around your injured fingers, explaining that it would make sure that the healing process was unimpeded by the outside environment.

That was easy, quick, painless. 

Your shoulder, on the other hand, is a completely different matter. As soon as Kix touches it, as gentle as he can be, it flares with pain, and your muscles tense, which just makes it worse. 

“I don’t know how you’ve been functioning with this for as long as you have,” he comments dryly. When his fingers press against the bone, assessing the damage with a practised familiarity, you cry out, eyes squeezing shut.

“Haar’chak,” you grit out, as behind you, Kix preps a syringe with local anesthetic. 

“Which one of my di’kut brothers taught you curse words in Mandoa?” he asks, beginning to disinfect the injection site.

You flinch at the cold and your cheeks flush. “Shit, you weren’t supposed to hear that. I can’t tell you that, I made a promise.” 

“Did you now?” he asks, fighting the amused smirk that plays on his lips. “Well, whoever it was, you might as well put your skills that they taught you to use.”

You look at him from over your shoulder, eyebrows raising in confusion.

He explains, “I need to give you an injection of local anaesthetic so that it takes the edge off of resetting your shoulder correctly. I know those aren’t your favourite , so, I am making a deal with you. Let me do this, and I give you free rein to throw whatever Mandoa insult my brothers have taught you at me, no consequences. Is that fair?”

The unimpressed look you’re giving at the syringe turns to surprise, then, slowly, a smile spreads across your face and you nod, quickly looking away from it. “Deal,” you accept, your voice still shaky with nerves but determined.

“Okay, deep breath for me,” He waits for you to inhale. “Perfect, now, on the exhale, give me that insult with all of your might. Ready?”

He waits for you to nod, then prompts you to exhale as he administers the anaesthetic into the back of your shoulder.

“Osi’yaim, that hurt, you di’kut,” what should be just a little pinch to your already injured shoulder makes you cry out the words, and you swear you can hear the familiar sound of Coric laughing from the other side of the medbay.

Your cheeks flush, you did not intend to be that loud. But you don’t apologize, either, and Kix only gives you a rueful grin, nodding in understanding.  

As you wait for the anaesthetic to settle, Kix warns, “I’m gonna be honest, kid, because of how long you’ve left this injury to sit, even with the anesthetic, setting it is still going to hurt.” 

You close your eyes, grimacing, before nodding with a sigh. “Do your worst,” you say, bracing yourself.

He lays a reassuring hand on your uninjured shoulder. “I need you relaxed, adika,” he says gently. “Trust me, it will only hurt more if you tense like that,” he continues, gently encouraging your shoulder downward with his hand.

“Easy, now. I want you to give me some good deep breath’s. In,” he inhales deeply, holding for a few seconds, “and out,” he lets his breath go in a controlled, slow stream of air.

He waits for you to copy, giving you a few breaths to settle into it as he prepares himself. “Perfect, just like that, keep it up, you’ve got this,” he keeps up the stream of encouraging words as carefully, but firmly, he rotates your arm, guiding your dislocated shoulder back into its proper place with one precise movement.

The sudden flare of pain, even dulled as it is by the anesthetic, takes your breath away momentarily, your vision instantly blurring with tears. When it clears,Kix has shifted to standing in front of you, gently wiping them away with his thumbs.

“Well done, vod’ika, you were so brave,” his words make you want to cry more, because you didn’t think you were brave. You thought that being brave meant confidence, at all times, and not letting other people see your vulnerability. You can’t fully understand it, but, now, you’re beginning to think that maybe your initial idea of bravery was wrong.

Your lip wobbles as you speak, “W what now?” you look up at him with wide, still watery eyes.

He gently strokes your hair. “Now, I’m going to get Coric, and you,” he playfully taps your nose, “are going to take a much-needed nap, if the bags under your eyes are any indication, while we take care of that leg wound.” 

*

It sounds simple enough. 

Kix explains the procedure while Coric preps you for surgery, making sure all your vitals are stable. As he wraps a blood pressure cuff around your arm, he tells you that that’s essentially his job while he’s in here. Throughout the surgery, he will monitor your vitals and make sure that they remain at safe levels. 

“I’m going to remove the sutures, clean the wound, remove the infected tissue, pack the wound with saline soaked dressings, then bandage it back up so that it can heal. It goes without saying that you’re going to be off the field for at least a week. You’ll need to stay here so that we can continue to monitor your recovery as well as change the dressings often. You will also need to undergo a course of IV antibiotics to kill off any lingering infection. This will also give us time to get your haemoglobin levels back up with an infusion.”

Your eyes close tightly as anxiety knots your stomach. “Oh, force, a week? But, my master needs me,” you protest.

When your eyes open again, both medics are fixing you with equally stern looks. “Your master needs you to be safe, and healthy,” says Coric, frowning, as he carefully attaches a pulse oximeter to one of your fingers. 

“If you want to be back on the field as soon as possible, you will take this week of recovery. If you want to argue with me about it, I will make it longer. A week is the absolute minimum,” Kix says, arms folded across his chest, wearing his signature “i’m the chief medical officer, you have no authority here,” expression.

You visibly deflate, reminding yourself that you pick and choose your battles, and picking and choosing a battle with two medics who are very competent at dealing with very stubborn Jedi would be a very stupid idea. 

You can’t help yourself, and in spite of the fact that you shouldn’t, you stare as Kix preps your wrist for an IV line.

Sensing you’re mounting anxiety as your eyes nervously flit around, watching  Kix’s Every move, Coric gently takes your other hand, squeezing when your eyes don’t immediately look at him. When you finally tear your eyes away from what Kix is doing, Coric is wearing a mischievous smile on his face. “So, Vod’ika, who taught you how to curse in Mandoa?” he asks, raising a curious brow.

You only scoff, rolling your eyes. “Kix already tried to find out. What makes you think that I’m going to tell that secret to you?”

“I’ve already got my suspicions. My moneys on Echo or Fives.” he gives you a wounded look, “I thought you would tell me, because I’m obviously your favourite.”

Kix uses this conversation to quickly insert the IV into a vein on your wrist. Reacting to the small pinch, your fingers instinctively tighten around Coric’s hand, squeezing it tightly.

“You’re definitely my favourite now,” you grumble, giving Kix a sidelong glare.

He gives you an apologetic look. “Sorry, Vod, i’m going to run the medication through the line now. It will act quickly, and when you wake up, this will be all done with.” 

You nod, biting your lip nervously. Coric notices, giving your hand another gentle squeeze. “Hey, kid, I know you’ve heard Kix say kaysh mirsh solus all the time. Do you know what it means?” 

You look at him with curiosity, shaking your head.

“Well, essentially it means they are stupid or foolish. But, the literal translation is even more direct .” Coric gives you a conspiratorial smile.

“What is it?” You ask as he leans forward. 

“The literal translation means their braincell is lonely,” he says, completely serious.

You feel a smile pulling up the corners of your lips and a surprised laugh falls from them. 

You feel the medication beginning to enter your system, but you’re so busy laughing that you can’t bring yourself to care. “You better not be bullshitting me,” you threaten,“or I...” you let out a yawn.

“I swear to the force, I,” your eyes begin to flutter and you yawn again, shrugging.

“I’ll think about it later,” you mumble sleepily, before promptly passing out, smile still lighting up your face.

*

Your leg hurts.

That’s the first thing you become aware of as Kix is gently encouraging you to open your eyes.

“Come on, adika, open your eyes for me,” he says  softly, fingers gently brushing against your cheek to bring you back to awareness.

“But it hurts, and I wanna go back to sleep,” you wine, blinking sleepily up at him. 

“Ni ceta, vod’ika,” he soothes, fingers gently caressing your forehead in an apology. “I know it hurts, and you can go back to sleep soon, I promise,” 

He glances at something that you can’t see, giving a small nod,“Vitals look good, the anaesthesia is wearing off nicely, and it doesn’t appear to have affected them too much. Let’s up that IV dosage,” Kix speaks to Coric, who moves to adjust your IV out of your eyeline.

Your leg throbs, and you let out a stifled whimper, hand reaching down, trying to at least find the source of your pain when Kix catches it in his, gently stalling your movements. “Let’s leave that alone for now, vod’ika. Coric is just increasing your pain med intake, that will make it better. Then you can sleep,” 

At the continued expression of pain on your face, he lets go of your hand, fingers gently playing with your hair as he instructs, “nice and easy, adika, deep breath‘s for me, everything’s okay.” 

You don’t believe him at first, but slowly, things become okay. The pain quickly fades and dulls , breathing becomes easier, and your eyes begin to flutter. All the while, Kix continues holding his vigil at your bedside, fingers continuing to gently run through your hair until you fall into a natural sleep.

*

When you properly wake up next, the first thing you notice is that your leg doesn’t hurt anymore.

Whatever pain meds Kix has got you hooked up to are very effective, and your lips pull into a relieved smile. 

The second thing you notice, when you glance around to get your bearings, is the face of your very concerned captain, Rex, at your bedside. You blink slowly, yawning. Although the anaesthetic has worn off, the pain meds still have you feeling like you’re in a fog, and your brain is working pretty slowly.

“When did you get here?” you ask, confused.

“I came straight here after you never reported to the bridge for today’s debriefing. The general said that you would be back today, and it’s unlike you to miss or forget about meetings,” he explains, looking at you, relieved to see you awake, but a flicker of concern still lingering in his eyes.

“Osik, sorry, Rex, I got myself into a bit of a bind over here,” you gesture to the IV that you’re hooked up to, chuckling a little.

“So I heard, don’t worry about it, kid. There wasn’t much to report, anyways.” His head tilts, and he raises a questioning eyebrow.“Who taught you how to curse in Mandoa, vod’ika?” he asks, keeping his voice light.

If you weren’t under the influence of pretty heavy duty pain medication‘s, you would have restraint, you would have thought before you opened your mouth. But for Rex, it was his lucky day.

you smirk, “good old Hardcase taught me everything I know,” you say with pride, smiling fondly at the memory.

Rex carefully files that information away so that he can scold Hardcase for that once he leaves. But he carefully keeps his face neutral.

His face grows serious. “Kix told me about all the medical appointments you’ve missed and the injuries that you’ve been covering up,” his voice is stern, every bit the commanding officer that he is in front of the troops. It makes you nervous, and you swallow, looking away from him.

“I swear to the force, if you ever pull something like that again, I will find out about it, and I’ll drag you to the medbay myself, even if it means chasing you around the ship and stunning you if I have to. do you realize how much danger you were in? How much danger you put others in? That was extremely reckless of you, commander. I’m very disappointed in your actions,  and it will not happen again, do you understand?”

Your hazy memory recalls the conversation you had with Kix earlier, about this very thing, and for some reason, it hits even harder seeing the disappointment, worry and concern etched on the face of the normally composed captain.

Without prompting, you find yourself bursting into tears. 

Later, you’ll blame the pain meds on your inability to keep a grip on your emotions. But right now, all you can do is think about the people, the brothers, you could have hurt, the things that could’ve happened because of you, and the tears just fall down your face, streaming from your eyes, falling down your cheeks, into your ears, dampening your hair.

.“I I’m sorry Captain I I didn’t I,” you gasp out, trying to explain, but your brain is still foggy, only clinging onto the hazy images of loss and pain due to your inability to act fast enough.

There’s a reason why people are convinced that Kix has eyes on the back of his head. Working as the highest ranking medic in the 501st has trained him to be hyper observant of all of his patients, even if he isn’t at their bedside. 

So, even though he’s been taking the time to update your file on a datapad, unbeknownst to either you or Rex, he’s also been watching you like a hawk, and the minute you begin to show that you’re overwhelmed, he’s swooping in on the two of you, protective mother hen mode fully activated by the tears falling down your cheeks.

He steps in front of you, broad shoulders immediately blocking your view of your commanding officer. “Captain,” he says, and his voice is still respectful, but there’s a hard edge beneath it, something stern that you haven’t heard before, even during the worst of him lecturing you.

“You are causing undue stress to my patient, and I’m going to have to ask you to leave, sir,” he continues, physically ushering Rex to the door.

More quietly, out of your earshot, he says,“I have already harshly reprimanded the commander. Trust me, this experience will ensure that the lesson will not be forgotten.  Now, if you want to be of use, get the general and bring him to me, please. I need to speak with him. Between you and me, Rex, I’m blaming this ordeal on him.” 

Rex begins to make an objection, but  Kix is already turning away, folding his arms. “I don’t care if you have to drag him out of council meetings. His Padawan is more important,” he shoots back, before quickly moving back to your side, all of his hard lines instantly fading at the sight of your tear streaked face.

He’s all gentleness and soft reassurances uttered as he cups your face, wiping away your tears. When you struggle into a sitting position, falling against his chest as your arms clumsily reach for him, his arms easily pull you close to him and you sob, trying to explain.

“Kix, I, I didn’t mean to, I never wanted to hurt anyone,” you whisper, clutching at him, burying your face into the crook of his neck, wanting to disappear, feeling his body shift, one hand splayed out, rubbing your back in slow, soothing circles, the other coming up to cradle your head, holding you against his warmth, sheltering you.

“Oh, adika, shh, I know. You didn’t hurt anyone, vod’ika, nothing happened,” he coos, tightening his arms around you. Lips press against your hair briefly, and you continue to cry, letting your emotions run their course as he cradles you to him, gently rocking you back-and-forth, as if you were a much smaller child.  

In this moment, you certainly feel like you are, and it’s comforting, the way he holds and settles you against him , making gentle shushing noises and speaking in low, soothing tones, the words eventually losing their meaning as sleep, yet again, gently pulls at your consciousness.

The last thing you’re aware of is him gently guiding you to lie back down, another medic, you think it’s Coric, passing him a freshly warmed blanket that he tucks around you, and a hand gently brushing through your hair as you drift back to sleep, your storm settled and calmed by his words and his presence.

*

Anakin Skywalker had been in meetings with the Jedi high Council all day, was running on his 3rd cup of caff, and still found himself stifling a yawn every five minutes. So, when Rex silently slipped into the room, politely interrupting the meeting to request that Anakin report to the medbay, he instinctively rolled his eyes, grumbling that he would go later. 

But when Rex stated that this wasn’t actually about him, and was in regards to his Padawan, Anakin was out of his seat in an instant, hastily making his excuses to the council before leaving the room, legs carrying him to the medbay faster than he ever had moved there before.

He doesn’t even stop to look as behind him, Rex calls to a group of troopers in a booming voice, “Hardcase, get Over here right now,  you di’kut, I need to talk to you regarding professionalism when it comes to working with young Padawan’s .”

When he’s escorted into a cubicle, his eyes grow wide with alarm at the sight of you, peacefully asleep, but your face looks exhausted and worn out. You’re hooked up to an IV and monitors, there’s a thick bandage that’s been secured to the bottom half of your right leg.

Kix keeps his voice low and quiet, so as not to disturb you, but he fixes your master with a hard look as he takes him through an overview of your current health status.

“Iron deficiency anemia, burns, a dislocated shoulder, a blaster wound that had to be surgically operated on due to an untreated infection that had grown quite severe and needed to be manually removed, as well as several muscle strains and bruised ribs that can be healed with proper rest.” 

His mouth falls open at the growing list, but Kix only folds his arms, continuing to speak. “General, sir, your Padawan looks to you with the highest regard, and you lead the way by example. All of these issues could have been caught much earlier and treated without having to deal with all this,” he gestures at everything you’re hooked up to.

“This behaviour was learned, and when I pressed, I found that at the root of the problem was fear of disappointing you and letting you down,” he waits for these words to sink in, and when they do, Anakin Skywalker, Jedi general who is known for his strength and recklessness on the field, hangs his head with shame, eyes finding the floor and refusing to look at Kix directly.

His meaning is clear, you are his Padawan, and as your master, it’s his responsibility to set a good example for you, and in this regard, watching pain medication flow through the IV line attached to your wrist, he knows he has failed to do so.

“So, just maybe, the next time you decide that are mandatory medical checks are optional and you can manage on your own, maybe just, consider this,” Kix gestures to you, still deeply asleep.

Before your master can respond, not that he really has any words to do so, Kix turns on his heel, quickly exiting the room before he can be reprimanded for speaking to his superior that way, not that he really cares, anyway.

If he had stayed, though, he would have seen Anakin tentatively move to your side, gently sitting on the edge of your bed as he strokes back your hair and adjusts the blankets that are tucked around you, properly shamefaced as he looks down at you and says in a voice that is soft and rarely heard coming out of him, “I’m sorry, kiddo, this one’s on me.”

*

“And this,” says Kix, quickly injecting the third and final mandatory vaccination into your arm, “is your ticket out of here.”

The week of recovery has come and gone, And you have finally been cleared to head back onto the field, as long as you continue to follow a regimen of oral antibiotics for the next week, and, more excitingly in your opinion, get out of the medbay.

“There you go, you did it,” Fives, who’s been sitting across from you, happily agreeing to be your emotional support/cheerleader, ready with a damp cloth if you need it, does a little celebratory dance that makes you laugh, even as Kix, sensing that you’re feeling unsteady, gets you to lay down.

Fives gently places the cool cloth against your skin, and it’s enough to ground you, pulling you back from the edge.

“That’s it, Vod’ika, well done, you did great,” Kix says encouragingly, giving your shoulder a warm squeeze. “Now, wait 15 minutes, and as long as you’re feeling back to normal, you can get out of here,” he smiles down at you, patting your head affectionately before moving out of the cubicle.

As soon as he’s gone, Fives liens in conspiratorially, face lighting up with mischievousness sparkling in his eyes. “Hey, kid, I bet you 10 credits that I could easily sneak you out right now and we could make this 15 minutes go a lot faster,” he grins.

In spite of the fact that you smile back at him and laugh lightly, you give your head a small shake and throw a cautious look over your shoulder.

“Are you kidding? I’ve been here for a whole week, and the biggest thing I’ve learned is that  Kix and Coric do, in fact, have eyes in the back of their heads. We wouldn’t even make it out of the door.” 

It’s true, you’ve seen several different troopers trying to carefully sneak out of the medbay when they think that no one is watching. 

What you’ve learned, though, is that the medics of Torrent Company are always watching. Nothing gets past their keen eyes or ears, and no one successfully sneaks out undetected. 

You grimace, “besides, I’ve just gotten off of Kix’s bad side, and I have no desire to go back there.”

“So,” Fives says, resignedly coming to sit on the edge of your bed with a sigh. “We’re waiting the 15 minutes?”

You carefully sit up, giving him a nod and a decisive look as you lean your head against his shoulder..

“Yes, Fives,” you affirm, letting out a small sigh of your own. “We are waiting the 15 minutes.”

************************* thank you so much for reading. Comments and re-blogs are always appreciated here.are always appreciated here.

Mandoa translations. Kaysh mirsh solus, they are stupid/foolish. Ori’vod: Big Brother (in this instance) can also be used as big sister or big sibling. Ni ceta: i’m sorry. Vod: Brother/ sister/ sibling. Adika: little one. Vod’ika: Little sister, little brother, or little sibling Haar’chak: damm it. Di’kut: Fool (literal translation is underwear forgeter) which kills me. Osi’yaim: shithead. Osik: shit.

[youremyheaven]

this might be a kinda niche observation but i have noticed women who are venusian plus saturnian are Not very nice 😭 i know two women who's entire chart is basically 50/50 venusian naks and saturn naks and one thing i've noticed they both do is try to remix traditional gender roles into some sort of female empowerment thing

for example, one of them is constantly going on dates with older rich men which by itself is like fine whatever but she tries to act like she's this genius feminist for doing it. like no babe.... you're still conforming to gender roles by essentially selling yourself to rich men to eventually become their spoiled housewife, if anything she's putting a capitalistic spin on it. i think this is because of the saturnian urge to conform to traditions meshing with the venusian urge to date lots and surround yourself with money and beauty

the second girl is obsessed with traditional beauty standards for im assuming the same reason. she literally often says things like "i love entering a room and knowing i'm the prettiest one there" and "walking down the street watching people gawk because i'm the most beautiful one here". it's so cringe and low vibrational, not to mention misogynistic yet just like the other girl she tries to put a feminist spin on it. she has a whole twitter account dedicated to unlocking your "divine feminine", which is a real thing but she does it in such an incorrect way like telling people what plastic surgery they need to be "perfect" and of course, how to attract a rich man. it's a combo of venusian vanity and saturnian rule following (the beauty standards being the rules)

also, they both HATE eachother 😭

that sounds about right ngl

I feel like Venusian women who are not drawn to the arts and are somehow unable to channel their creativity make it their sole purpose in life to pursue romance and 😬it kind of messes them up?? My grandma is Purvaphalguni Moon and she was a very talented singer back in the day and wanted to study Music in college but her family was against it and made her study to be a teacher and then she ended up marrying my grandad and also cheating on him and ngl it ruined her life,,, anywayyss I feel like Venusians were meant to pursue all of the themes of Venus, ESPECIALLY its creativity because art will fulfil you in ways no man or relationship can and in the absence of it, all this excessive materialistic pursuit of relationships brings out the corrosiveness of Venus.

Venus is capable of immense devotional spirituality, its not a shallow planet or influence by any means but to get to the spirituality (of any planet tbh) one has to transcend its more superficial material manifestations. I think Venusian fixation on romance, relationships etc can be very damning. I know a Purvaphalguni Moon girl who cannot be single for even a second and she said she can't get married because she will cheat on him 😭

I know several Venusians who are like you mentioned but damn that Venus and Saturn combination you talked about is lethal,, they can lead themselves to such a shallow hollow and empty life. Ngl I feel like all those "dating coaches" online who talk about "10 ways to marry a rich man" are all Venusian/Saturnian women and sorry to break it but I promise it never works out. If a man knows that you're with him for his money, I promise you no amount of money he throws at you will be worth the mind games and psychological abuse that will ensue.

I have a friend, Bharani stellium who is from a well to do family but she dreams of marrying someone filthy rich and being a housewife. She's also Saturnian lmao but I feel like her idealized visions of being someone's trophy wife will lead to some bitter experiences. Bc first of all Indian men are trash, second of all, rich people are trash and a rich Indian man and his family are probably capable of god knows what insanity. I think about that video of Shah Rukh Khan, aka the biggest actor the country has ever seen at Isha Ambani's (billionaire's daughter) twins birthday party where they'd brought out snakes??? (rich ppl things bc who tf would bring snakes to a toddler's bday party??) and Isha's brother picks up a snake and puts it on SRK's shoulder from behind, catching him off guard. Like ik its obviously not poisonous but like ??? thats so rude??? imagine just putting a snake on someone without their consent??? its that asshole's entitlement that makes him believe he can get away with anything. any video of the Ambani kids is a testament to them being rich assholes but anyways point is, rich people are fucked up and its insane to me that women want to sign away their autonomy by marrying into these families??? like are they dumb??? how naive do you have to be to believe that they'll be rich AND nice to you?? lol?? and you cannot raise a finger against them bc money will silence everyone, even the courts. look at what happened to amber heard and what's happening to angelina jolie. these are powerful, influential women, not housewives to rich douchebags but even then, they suffer. now what would happen to a regular woman???

anybody who dreams of being a trophy wife feels absolutely delusional to me. its so important to maintain your independence. like by all means i want to marry rich but i dont ever want to be in a position where im financially dependent on a man. THATS DANGEROUS. quite literally.

[msnihilist]

hii, we've never really interacted with each other and I hope this doesn't come across as weird or pushy, but I finally read one (1) too many asks from an anonymous anti and just couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore. WHY do they come to your ask box and act as if you are responsible for the education of every single person out there?? especially the last ask, where the anon just cannot wrap their head around the fact that you don't write about incest in an "educational way" that teaches people how it's "wrong and immoral". THAT'S NOT YOUR JOB??? they act like children who expect you to play the job of a parent, to take them by the hand and be like, "this is very, very bad and you should NEVER do this in real life." like, i'm sorry, but if "bad" topics can only ever be explored for the sake of teaching others that such things should never be acted upon in real life, then people like those anons should not be engaging with anything but media for very young children. how can one trust such people to consume anything that has a character doing something remotely bad without the character, in the end, turning to the camera and saying, "and remember kids, what i just did is very, very bad and should never be acted upon in real life" like some one-dimensional character fable written for people whose minds cannot yet distinguish between fiction and real life???

and to then come to YOU, who always offers content warnings and who certainly forces NO ONE to consume your content, who writes primarily for their own sake & pleasure, and who is not damaging a single fucking person over it, and complain about how you "never explore other relationships" and how you "never only write to teach your readers it's wrong and bad", i'm about to rip my hair out!!!

does hannibal ever turn to the camera and remind his audience that cannibalism is actually bad???? does any slasher ever turn to the camera and remind people they shouldn't kill???? do, idk, villains ever turn to the camera and remind others they shouldn't hurt anyone???? no??????? are topics of violence and death explored in media without serving the message of morality on a silver platter for its audience??? and do people complain to those content creators and accuse them of romanticizing killing & torturing, etc??? NO!! and yet 😫 and yet, the moment something sexual is involved, everyone and their mother clutches their pearls because to them, it's unfathomably disgusting and the idea to see it as fiction just as with other topics becomes impossible to actually understand, much less accept.

i wish i could reach through your screen, have access to those anons' computers, and install a program to only allows them access to websites that are friendly for children under 10 years old, because APPARENTLY, that's the only type of media they are mature enough to consume.

anyways. i respect and admire you for always staying so calm. i personally start having a high blood pressure for you whenever i read some of your anons, and i know in the end there's no point in engaging them bc i might as well try to have a complex, multi-layered discussion with my cold, unresponsive wall, and it would be less of a waste of time than arguing with antis. so, yeah. i hope you never let them take away your spark and ruin your fun. we live in sad times and writers who have not yet lost the courage to engage with creativity as it's SUPPOSED to (in an explorative way) are becoming much too seldom. have a lovely day!! 💕

(and P.S. sorry if i made you uncomfortable, that was not my intention)

You know, what's funny about that question aimed towards my own writing is that I actually do have fics where it's serious and awful.

Whisper Your Love is a Black Butler fic I wrote where Ciel (stubborn and prideful) attempts to force himself to overcome his sexual trauma (he was kidnapped and raped repeatedly and often) by forcing himself to have sex, and it doesn't work because trauma doesn't work that way. It's rated E, and I didn't write it to be erotic.

Playing Hard to Get is a Homestuck fic in which Dave is raped by his guardian, and it's blatant and victim-blame-y as hell. If you come away from this thinking that the rape was somehow a good thing for him, then that just shows you're going for the Olympic gold at stretching and reaching.

Mama's Boy is a Miraculous Ladybug fic where Adrien is clearly being groomed by his mother. It's so obvious that what she's doing is cruel.

Fly in a Web is an Astro Boy fic in which Tenma grooms and molests his son as a method of controlling him. Hell, even the title of this fic alludes to how "not okay" everything that happens here is.

That's just four of my older fics that I quickly combed through and picked. I have 15 pages of fics, and I only went through the last 5 to find those. (The reason it took five pages to find four fics? Because the vast majority of my fics are gen.)

62% of my fics are gen. 21% are teen. 9% are mature, and only 6% are explicit.

6%

It is honestly incredibly rude, entitled, and parasocial of antis to complain about what I spend my time writing, let alone 6% of my time.

Of course I have fetish fics. Taboo is hot! But the point of something being taboo is that it is wrong.

When I asked my ex to roleplay a rape scene with me, it wasn't a polite thing we had in mind. It was restraints and being held at knife-point and it was violent and rough because it's bad. Shocker!

But to circle back to your ask — if these antis actually do want something blatantly bad to read, I have plenty to choose from! But that's not what they actually want, because they see "rape" and "E" tagged and automatically assume that I wrote something to get off to, not that something sexually explicit might also have a greater story/point to it. (Although, don't get me wrong — writing something just to get off is super based, and I do that, as well.)

But they don't actually read my writing, and they won't, either. These complaints actually remind me of that PTA mom in Texas a few years back, who successfully complained and got books featuring sex pulled from the shelves — even though many of the books she complained about featured sexual assault/harassment.

The context doesn't matter, Christofascists— Sorry, I mean, fandom antis will always consider the content to be morally reprehensible. Sex is uniquely bad and not at all comparable to violence because the Church says so— Sorry, I mean... Because the Church says so, lol.

I appreciate you getting frustrated on my behalf! And don't worry, lol, this ask wasn't weird, haha. I actually think it's very kind of you. Yeah, that "unresponsive wall" bit is why I won't have a good faith conversation with random anon messages, anymore. If someone wants to talk to me like a normal person, my DMs are open!

Don't worry, I've been writing what I want for far too long to let randos online get me down. I get told to kill myself at least once a week, lol. They'll have to do better than that.

[lightofraye]

So... one of my followers stated their skillset and how long they've worked in it. They've been in the entertainment/creative industry for several decades. I asked if I could ask them some questions and they said I could, whenever I had any. The other day I did so. With their permission while keeping their anonymity, I'm sharing what was said.

I asked: "Would Hollywood care about the family man image THAT much? If I may ask and if you’re up to explaining." (Reason: Jensen's constant pushing of the 'family man' image and narrative we've seen and heard at cons.)

They replied with: "Short answer. No. Hollywood doesn’t give a crap whether an actor is married or divorced or single.

What they care about is a consistent image devoid of scandals.

Jensen is scared of his own shadow and has never been a risk taker. He sees himself as a family man-devoted husband and father—because that’s what he WANTS to be. It’s what he admired most about his dad, grandfathers, uncles etc.

The problem is he doesn’t really know how to pull that off genuinely and consistently. Because he married someone that he “checked most of the boxes” and they seemed to want the same thing. That’s why there are so many visible cracks because it’s a marriage built on two people that made a deal 15 years ago and have ultimately grown apart. But because of his upbringing and his desire to want to be SEEN as a family man — he will just go thru the motions to make things work.

If they divorced, Hollywood really could care less. It’ll be a small news blip. And hopefully he’d be smart (this time) to hire a brand strategist and publicist to help him navigate what to say and how to craft a positive divorced dad, co-parent image.

Right now his image could use something cos it’s devoid of consistency.

Hollywood is and will always be about money — can I make money off this actor/image. That’s it.

I said: That's what I thought. And yes, he’s not been consistent at all. I don’t think he even has a publicist and Gersh as his brand management has not done a good job.

They said: And if the actor is too unknown….but has talent…they’ll give him the shot/the exposure but won’t pay him crap.

If the actor is too risky bc of a bad image/reputation…they’ll pass unless he’s a proven “we make money off this guy/gal”.

If it’s someone vanilla and unbranded like Jensen…he’s in competition with 100s of other guys that look like him and may/may not have more talent. He’s getting ahead purely bc he has a (paid for) social following on IG of 11m. Some execs may think it’s worth hiring him over another.

But it’s why it’s taken him a few years to land anything of substance. I don’t count TB bc Kripke has a boner for him.

And why Amazon hired Eric Dane to be the true lead of the Countdown series bc Jensen isn’t a sure bet that people will tune in to watch for just him yet.

I said: Yeah… that’s the same as lol-jackles said. Pity there’s no way to send this to Jensen and go “Humble yourself, dude. And listen to the right experts.”

They said: He has a m360 and Gersh — top management and agents. I don’t think he listens to them.

Maybe it’s why Gersh sent their global brand strategist to observe him at the European cons.

I said: I'll bet they got an eyeful. I didn't think he was still with m360.

They said: Yes he is. They are his management team. Gersh is his agent. He’s been with both for 10+ years.

He hired Narrative PR (on advice from m360) to boost promotion for his TB role and TW. But seemed to only hire them for a 3 month blitz. Which is not how you work with a PR team like NarrativePR.

--

That's all I have for now. I wish there was a way to get this to Jensen. He has talent; we've seen it. He just... can't be consistent with anything he's done. If he wants this career, he needs to put in the work. He needs to be consistent. And maybe realize that the family man image isn't necessary and go pursue some genuine love and happiness.

[racingliners]

has anyone asked you about favorite (underrated?) helmets yet? ive been drooling over lance's am helmets lately i feel like no one ever talks about them -fujispeedway

oh yes @fujispeedway we can 1000000% talk about underrated helmets!!!

I also absolutely LOVE Lance's Aston Martin helmets, the 2021-2023 designs are my personal favourites both for the all over British Racing Green and the big Aston Martin wings on either side. It's such a sleek design that's executed brilliantly. (Pics below are Lance's helmets from 2021, 2022 and 2023 - all a 10/10 for me).

Of the three the 2023 design is my favourite, but I love the creativity of the 2022 helmet in creating the Aston wings out of matte paint and neon lime accents. It's super clever!

I have an unbelievably silly amount of helmets in my helmet tag so I just know I'm going to forget some (and it's almost after half past 11 at night for me so my brain will not be braining as much - I will probably end up doing a part 2 for this).

Gonna put this under a read more to avoid dash clogging.

Lewis Hamilton - 2020 pre-season testing

Do I think Lewis was absolutely spot on in switching his helmet design to purple and black for the 2020 season? Yes. Do I miss what we could have had in this beautiful white and purple variant? Also yes. (Deep deep down, I do hope this is the route he goes for his first Ferrari helmet next year).

Purple just is Lewis' helmet colour to me, and the big splashes of white with hints of baby pink is just soooooooooo pretty. This helmet looked stunning with the silver W11 Mercedes livery and I think it would have looked gorgeous with the black livery too.

10/10 no notes.

Sebastian Vettel - Singapore 2017

Seb's Singapore helmet designs literally. never. missed. Sadly I think his 2017 design gets forgotten about because of... well... the events of the race start. But to move on very swiftly, I think this design does not get talked about enough. The reflective detailing is really fun and looks just as gorgeous as all the sparkly helmets under the circuit floodlights, and it gets a bonus point for the yellow to red to pink shift matching perfectly with both the German flag on Seb's helmet and the 2017 Ferrari livery.

Again, 10/10 no notes.

Michael Schumacher - Belgium 2011

A lot of F1 drivers do have very iconic helmet designs. But will they ever be Michael Schumacher wearing a helmet decorated with actual 21 carat gold levels of iconic? No.

(I do want to include a video about how this helmet was made bc it's just so mesmerising to watch.)

This design was created and ran in honour of Michael's 20th anniversary in F1, which he celebrated at Spa - the scene of his first ever F1 race and maiden victory.

And it's sexy as hell. 10/10.

Jenson Button - Great Britain 2014

In honour of his father Johnathan, who traditionally always wore a pink button up shirt on race days when supporting Jenson and passed away at the start of 2014, Jenson ran his helmet design in a bright pink colourway for the British GP - which also featured a pink shirt wearing Papa Smurf (a frequently used nickname for Jenson's Dad).

I was super lucky to be at Silverstone for the race weekend in 2014, and you could always know when Jenson was on track because the super bright shade of pink was impossible to miss. And it also looked gorgeous with McLaren's chrome silver and black livery that year.

As a tribute, it's very beautiful. And a helmet I always remember fondly.

Zhou Guanyu - Abu Dhabi 2022

I'm not kidding when I say that I think about this helmet design at least once a week. It's probably every two days at the very least.

It's stunning, it's gorgeous, it's beautiful. Guanyu always delivers on his helmets every single time.

again, 10/10 I want a mini version of this on my shelf.

Esteban Ocon - Great Britain 2022

So, I have the heart of a marshmallow. I am incredibly mushy and sentimental, therefore anything slightly mushy and sentimental makes me go all gooey and weepy.

Esteban's helmet for Silverstone not only featured the names of every single employee at both the Alpine factory in Enstone and and the Renault Powertrains factory in Viry-Châtillon - but the top of the helmet also included the co-ordinates of both factories. Very mushy, very sentimental. It's just lovely.

The blue gradient is also very pretty. 10/10.

(gonna end this here as it's now ten to midnight and I'm struggling to think of many more BUT I will 100% make a part 2 for this if people want).

reverse unpopular opinions: send me a topic and I'll say something nice about it

[theancientdarkbeauty]

Which Freeman in the Freemanverse is the most smoochable?

Sorry it took a while Hal, but I do have a list that I completely forgor, so I’m doing this on the spot. (All of this would be platonic like “kiss the homies goodnight” kiss btw)

1: Freemercy (from saving all the scientists): he takes care of his hygiene, unlike almost every other Freeman on here. While I don’t particularly enjoy this Freeman, since I’ve never consumed the content he’s from, I will leave him up here bc it is just the most sane option for number one, but he and Cicero are basically tied.

2: Cicero: He baby, would 100% give him a little kiss goodnight if he wanted it.

3: Doc (Tales of the Mad Scientist by Bimothra on AO3, go read it!): he’s kinda crazy, but he is such a vibe and I love him dearly even thought I just read his fic yesterday

4: Gordon B. (From Y2KVR by Y2K Electronics right here on Tumblr!): he’s such a nice guy, I love him. Also takes care of his hygiene.

5: Freebird (from my AU that Tumblr has yet to know of): I’d more likely give him a hug, poor anxiety boy needs it. But I also have bias bc like I made him so he’s going to be high up in the list

6: Feetman (HLVRAI): Idk I’m starting to get into more neutral territory HES just higher up bc like idk Id have him over a the people further down on the list.

7: Swap Gordon (Half Life VR but the Roles are Swapped, also by Bimothra): He’s gay, I know, and he would 100% hunt me down bc I act suspicious all the time, also I’m in the middle of his fic rn (taking a little break bc my brain is running wild with creativity)

8: OG Freeman: I think he would hurt me. Not because I think he’s like a bitch or mean or anything it’s just the vibes. Idk I pitch a fight with everyone I can unless I have a very special spot for them in my heart (see: Cicero, Doc)

9: Freemind (from Freeman’s Mind): Ok, tumblr, this is the first you’re hearing of this, but I can and have killed multiple Freeminds in the back of Denny’s. I think most all Freeminds know me as a menace and will kill me on site. The only version of Freemind I know who would even tolerate it is mine because he knows I could kill him. If I didn’t have such a strong “cute aggression” towards Mind, he’d be higher on the list, but I want to rip him apart with my teeth like a dogtoy more than I want to kiss him.

10: Loverboy (Y2KVR by Y2K Electronics right here at home! On tumblr!): He kinda scares me. He’s got a cute design and all, but idk just vibes man

11: Gorgeous (From Gorgeous Freeman): I have never consumed his related content, but he ALSO scares me, for much more tangible reasons than Loverboy. Idk I get that he isn’t as bad in his source material (I see you Prinna) but he still scares me just as much as I am scared to watch Gorgeous Freeman.

Greeman (from a series DaFaqBOOM made that I forgot the name of them): I also think he would hurt me! I’d love to get into a friendly fistfight with him, but kiss him? Not so much

HONORABLE MENTION!

John Freeman from Half Life Full Consequences: Would kiss. He’s such a little guy. He fought god and won. Idk I love his chaotic energy.

[lqfiles]

heyy uhm thjs is my first time sending these kind of things and i js wanted to say that i really really reallyyyyy love stg, i've been reading it since chapter 10ish? but started following at about 20ish (srry abt that) and ik it doesn't mean much coming from an anonymous person but it makes me very happy (and PROUD) to see how many people are reading it now and how many asks you get :) overall im js immensely proud of you and your work

again ik it does not mean much coming from an anon but still you have no idea how great my days get when i get notis from your acc replying to questions or anons (cause i've figured it usually mean that you'll upload another chapter) ANYWAYS i've been struggling a LOT these few months, and one of the only things I seriously look up to is stg, so again, thank you SO so much :(

you don't even have to reply to this or anything (bc tbh i wouldn't know what to say either lol) but i would appreciate it if you could at least read it and know just how much power your ideas and writing actually have <3

also not sure if 50 was the last chapter (?) i was planning on writing smth like this when the smau ended BUT ITS WHATEVER RLLY !! anyways i will never be able to thank u enough for taking your time in this and genuinely putting effort and feelings on it, you are amazing !!

also im from Chile so idk if i made any mistakes while typing this… whatever i'll make sure to support you through each and every work of yours from now on ! take care <333

(god this was a little long IM SORRY again you don't have to reply to this i js hope u read it and know just how capable and dedicated you are and how happy you can make other people iwnsnsks <3)

anon you actually made me tear up wthh :(( LONG ANSWER INCOMING……

i think this is the best thing i could’ve been told and hear, and the fact that it’s anonymous doesn’t change how much your words mean to me trust me. i honestly wasn’t sure how commited i’d be to this smau since i never have managed to finish a slow burn ideas because of the lack of creativity. but i think the fact that you still kept up from such an early chapter (when i remember pointing out that i’m really just writing this without a full plot yet multiple times) is endearing and don’t worry, i don’t take it to heart that you didn’t follow me immediately loll, for all you knew this could’ve been the shittiest piece of writing and then you’d have to just unfollow lmaooo. also i think it’s cute that those who have kept up from early on until now have witnessed with me the growth of this series and the support on it 😭 i remember when 70 notes in day alone excited me and would get giddy by getting a SINGLE ask hsjdjdjd and now i’ve had chapters with 400 notes and get 10+ asks ??? i didn’t even really dwell on it that you guys who have been ogs too have seen the growth too :(( i think it’s quite funny, because last year, i rarely got any asks and barely checked on this account except for posting some drabbles here and there, and didn’t even speak to any mutuals, i remember i told myself i’d keep this a writing blog only without interacting much at all but ever since stg i’m surprised by the amount of mutuals i’ve made and how many people are really perceiving my account AND how interactive i’ve been even tho i’d usually log out immediately after posting something lmaoo! it’s cute and i appreciate you for sticking around and being proud of me !!! it honestly catches me off guard when some of you say that stg is the highlight of your day or how much you love it or how it has inspired you to start writing yourself, because i can’t comprehend myself being influential like that at ALL 😭😭 but at the same time it warms my heart every time because it makes me feel useful…? i like seeing people happy and feel inspired by something i did so seeing people be so happy of a mere chapter really does make me smile :) i’m sorry to hear that life is hard on you, but again it means a lot to me knowing stg DOES affect your day positively (can’t believe we’ll be reaching the end tho..)

this wasn’t the last chapter, i got two more and then some bonus chapters so i hope you’ll enjoy them and my future work as well anon <33 i’ll continue to pour my effort and feelings into my writing love you and thank you for making time to write this !!!

[veilchenjaeger]

In the time it took me to recover from reading The Locked Tomb, I finally watched the second season of Good Omens (had to wait for my parents to be able to watch it with me), and I want to do a quick post of my first impressions bc I like writing these. (No, I'm not over The Locked Tomb enough to write one for that yet. Maybe soon. Or maybe for Alecto.)

The short version is that I loved it, especially the ending. Season 1 is probably one of my favourite shows ever made; it's so obvious how much love and care went into every second of it, and I'm still impressed by how it manages to both be accurate to the book and modernise and alter the story a little to fit a TV show made decades after the book came out. The pacing, the amount of creativity and very different characters it introduces, the Cold War themes that somehow still work in the 2018 version, all the stuff that just keeps happening - it's just very good. Season 2 is very different from that, regarding the pacing especially. There's a lot less going on. Its focus is a lot more narrow. It's a lot slower, and a lot of it feels like filler, up until the last two episodes re-introduce the Shit Is Happening Left And Right pacing. Ultimately, it's a bridge between the first season and the next one (fingers fucking crossed that it gets made; I'm ready to just start cannibalising Amazon executives), it very much feels like one, and I think that's what it has to be seen as. Neil Gaiman confirmed that that's what it is a long time ago. So, no, it's not as gorgeously done as season 1 - but I went into it expecting a bridge, and I did get an incredibly enjoyable and very heartbreaking bridge that I'm 100% satisfied with. I wanted to see Aziraphale and Crowley and I saw them a lot, the plot is solid, and the last episode really came in with the fucking steel chair and knocked me the fuck out. My mind is rotting in 20 different ways rn. I did not need this after Nona the Ninth.

Anyways, in case there's anyone here who's on the fence about watching season 2 (or about Good Omens!), go watch it. Be at peace. Get your heart broken. (And, like, watch Good Omens, it's so good.)

Spoilery thoughts under the cut.

Starting off with a minor intriguing thing - I was SO on the fence about Crowley and Aziraphale having met before the Fall when I first watched their first meeting, but y'know what? I like it. There really isn't anything that says that they didn't know each other already in their Eden conversation. (I think that in the book, it does read like they know each other.) And I like all the little hints we're suddenly getting at who Crowley used to be before the fall. He was a Throne or a Dominion or above??? HELLO??? If the "Crowley was Raphael" theory ends up being real, I'm gonna start walking up the walls. Anyways, it's cool, these little reminders that Crowley does know Heaven fit very well with the overall theme of criticising Heaven as an institution, and I really hope that this is all build-up for a reveal of what sauntering vaguely downwards entailed for Crowley. Aziraphale's character arc is very much a metaphor for religious trauma and being in a cult, and season 2 puts Crowley in the role of the one who got out of the cult even more explicitly than season 1 did, which... is very appropriate, considering how it all ends.

Next up, I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE that they made Gabriel/Beelzebub canon. Are you KIDDING me. I went through all five stages of grief watching this with my parents right next to me, who had never heard of this ship before and were just sitting there, happily watching things proceed while my entire goddamn brain melted. What the FUCK. The audacity to do this and make it work, at that. I didn't even ship this, ever, and I'm still losing my entire mind about it. Is that what Homestuck readers felt like when Davekat went canon? Absolutely bonkers emotion, 10/10 would experience again. How dare they make me like Gabriel, also. Anyways, it fucking worked, and that's what upsets me the most. This was a genuinely sweet, romantic little story. The thing with the fly? OOF. Adorable. Extremely romantic. I, too, would leave everything I ever knew to go to Alpha Centauri with someone who made me the first gift of my life, saved my memory and sense of self with said gift, and then called it perfect to my face. Crowley is taking notes for wooing his own angel as we speak.

And it's all a big Aziraphale-and-Crowley parallel, of course. It's so fun that there were two of those - I had a chat with my dad about that, and we took note of some very interesting things. Like, it's very obvious that Nina and Maggie are Aziraphale and Crowley's mirror, but it only really hit me afterwards that narratively speaking, Nina is Aziraphale. She gets all the Crowley traits, of course - she's the sceptic, she's the grumpy one, she even calls Maggie "angel" (Cute!!!), and Maggie with her outdated lifestyle and her nerves and her cheerfulness is obviously meant to read as an Aziraphale parallel at first glance. But Maggie is the one who's waiting. She's the one who doesn't quite dare to confess, but tries to get close to Nina nonetheless. And Nina is the one who's in a toxic relationship and who, in the end, says that she needs some more time to get over that, hoping that Maggie will still be there when she's ready. And Maggie of course will be there! Like Crowley has been there for thousands of years and presumably will still be there once Aziraphale finally gets out of the cult for good. I want to believe its foreshadowing - it's certainly a direct parallel to the heartbreak scene in the end, and I want to believe that Beelzebub and Gabriel getting their happy ending is foreshadowing as well. It does drive me slightly insane that every single bit of this season was at least part of a big narrative parallel for Aziraphale and Crowley. It was all about love. I'm sobbing. It's all about LOVE, and hasn't it always been? (And, well, it's not like Anathema and Newt and Madame Tracy and Shadwell weren't Aziraphale and Crowley as well.)

On that note: The emotion I felt when they kissed? Unparalleled. We're explicitly and fully undeniably in the queer main characters zone, bitches. I legitimately almost cried. Of course the love story was pretty much explicit in season 1 already, but in a show that is not a Queer Show(tm) from the get-go, that never was marketed as such, a kiss still means so much, even if it's a sad goodbye kiss.

And speaking of that, finally - I avoided spoilers as much as I could, but I did pick up on the general, uh, unrest in fandom regarding the ending. Like, people apparently hated it and were very vocal about it, to the point where I couldn't even avoid it when I went out of my way to not look at anything Good Omens-related. Fandom annoys me more and more by the day - this is definitely one more thing for the pile of annoyances - and I try not to let that ruin my enjoyment of things, but I was prepared to be let down by the ending. Which is very interesting, because the ending was hands down my favourite part of the season. What the FUCK, people, can we not complain about the episode where we get an onscreen kiss? Anyways, I'm SO intrigued by this ending and the story it begins to tell. Aziraphale as an archangel is a wild status quo, first of all, but mostly, I really like what they did with the characters here. Again, Aziraphale is metaphorically in a cult, and the fact that he cannot let go of the idea that Heaven is supposed to be good, that what Heaven does must ultimately be good, fits that very well imo. He's at the point where he has realised that angels make mistakes and some decisions made in Heaven are wrong, which makes him determined to change things once he's in a position of power, but he's still not out of his cult mindset yet. Being an angel is still an inherently good thing in his mind, so of course he's fucking ecstatic when he thinks that he's able to bring Crowley to Heaven. Only that Crowley is really not about to re-join the fundamentalist cult he already got out of once, thank you very much. So, yeah, this works, and it's heartbreaking. Poor Crowley deserves none of this.

(All of this is also very, very queer - there's the obvious cult metaphor, but Aziraphale is also absolutely a metaphor for internalised homophobia. He gets the opportunity to be with Crowley and be straight, metaphorically, to have their relationship be a socially accepted, good, not sinful one! There's also some of the "Your soul can be saved if you stop being a demon gay" thing in there. I want to give Aziraphale twenty hugs.)

Ultimately, "Come to Heaven with me" vs. "It could just be us" complete with a desperate, heartbreaking, overwhelming goodbye kiss broke my entire goddamn heart. I'm very glad that Neil Gaiman already promised to tell the rest of the story no matter what, even if Amazon doesn't play along. That's not something that can stay unfinished. Anyways, TL;DR: Loved it, will watch again once I know how everything ends and don't have to cry about the ending anymore. Will go look at kiss gifs now.

[twiilys]

Tagged by @luckylolabug ❤️

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

As of now 19, though 1 of that is a translation (Remember the Spring, by the extraordinary @themarydragon) and 1 is a collaborative work with 9 other lovely writers :)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 129,476 (same comment as above)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I go through phases in what I read and write, so it depends on what the mood is currently. I'm working on a Anne with an E/Anne of Green Gables one now, but my WIP folder (or rather, my collection of drafts/ideas/5 words scribbled on a notebook) has Lockwood & Co., Fire Emblem Three Houses, Julie and the Phantoms, Zelda Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom, and Harry Potter.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The (Not So) Subtle Art of Secret-Keeping - AWAE

what lies ahead - AWAE

of late nights and early mornings - AWAE

thou and i are too wise to woo peaceably - AWAE

Time to Learn - FE3H (whoop whoop!!)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I love receiving comments. Short, long, emojis, questions, anything!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I won't say I don't like writing angst, bc I do like a sprinkle of angst to deepen the fluff flavour (especially in longer fics). But I don't think I'll ever write a full-on angsty ending. I read and write for escapism, it would betray the purpose for me.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's between "what lies ahead" (AWAE, kinda S3 fix-it with Anne and Gilbert getting together) and "shadow play" (Lockwood & Co Locklyle newly-weds), I guess.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, I'm glad I haven't so far! I did get into a spirited debate in the comments of one, but it was less ad hominem than it was about interpretation of the source material. That's alright with me :)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not yet. I'm more of the 'fade to black' type, mostly bc I'm still embarrassed I guess. It's not out of question though.

10. Do you write crossovers?

My current WIP is a "blorbos from my show in the setting of another piece of media", which is the closest I'll come to crossover I think.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so! Hope it stays that way!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. I've toyed with the idea of translating my own fic in French (my native language) but at this point I'm better at creative writing in English lol and I can never go back to French formatting for dialogues

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! "The (Not So) Subtle Art of Secret-Keeping" was a collaborative work, each of us writing 1 chapter. I got a lot of input that way and it made my part all the better! It was a really good experience.

14. What is your all-time favorite ship?

Don't ask me that, I can't choose 😭

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I mean, I have an UFO* folder, so... they're nice to think about 🥹

*Unfinished Objects & Projects (it comes from fabric crafts originally but I use it for fics that fall under that question exactly haha)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Someone said it was atmosphere once, but I like to think I'm good with sentence pacing/rhythm. I want to write stuff that sounds good out loud too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Consistency? I get off the writing wagon very easily and I have to remind myself I like writing lol otherwise my WIPs get abandoned. It's not even writer's block, I just sometimes forget that opening a document and write makes me happy.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I do it with French sometimes, when I can justify it (e.g. Jerry in AWAE is a French speaker, so I do slip in bits of French). I like writers who incorporate aspects of their characters like that, but unfortunately Google translations are... what they are. On that note, please ask me for French help if need be, I'd be thrilled!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Fire Emblem Three Houses! I wrote before but I wasn't really part of a fandom.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Am I allowed to say my current WIP? It's extremely self-indulgent and also the longest thing I've ever written. Can't wait to share it!

Tagging you who wants to babble about their work :) (yes, you specifically. do the thing!)

[kangaroomarko]

wellllp

idk, yk... hmmmm.

feeling pretty pointless. its not that but the fact im actually pointless and useless being. im not really good at anything, im alright but im not good. im not number one and never will be at anything, and my only purpose is to be wors than somenone. Like the poin is not to suceed but to fail. For someone to suceed other must fail. well i feel like im the one that need to fail every time. i feel like i cant do anything about it. im just not that good. im not, im not that smart, im not that strong, im not that confident, im not that creative. im useless. yet i still must exist bcs of others.

or im gaslighting myself not to kms saying im not selfish. bullshit im selfish everyone are and i dont feel like my self is benefeting from anything much.

its not that no one likes me, its just pih nothing im mid. mid you have top 10 worst movie top 10 best movie, mid movies are just mid. im mid. i must work some shitty 9-5 job that is made of average assholes like me. i wont go where i want, because im not good enough. you wont go to harvar bcs you are stupid asshole. they dont need mfs like you there. its not for mid ppl.

see what im sayin. and thats alright but i cant fucking do anything about it. im not good at other thing too but i feel better if its posible to improve it. i feel like its not. it is what it is. i can learn more i can work more. but there are so much stuff stupid person can understand.

? and so what, i found my point for life and its to fucking be second or third place. to be this guy on left. he must be there, he must. that his point poin is to be pointless. fill the blank space.

and so what now. kms i cant i need to stay in picture.

idk, this probably comes from me not being setisfyed whit my self. but how could i. objectivly im not good enough, and i also lack passion to improve my self. i dont have self confidence (at all) to bullshit my self and others like im that best mf ever, bcs im not im fucking not. and i dont want to and i cant lie, to my self and others.

i suck

[lilastromama]

Rating the signs as big 3 placements

(gemini, aquarius, capricorn, cancer)

gemini:

sun: 8/10 I love them and that is not bc its my sun sign, i genuinely like them in general. They are bubbly but also serious if needed. Theyre literally the twins and u if ure lucky (or unlucky) u will meet both sides of them. Yet i have to say, we can be incredibly toxic if unevolved. Also sometimes we start arguing for fun and dont really tell you about that so it leads to an actual beef, we sorry tho, but evolved we really mean no harm

moon: 6/10 i have mixed feelings about this one to be truthful, it can definetely be a hit but also a huge miss. there is a lot going on in their heads and hearts and they tend to overthink to the point they end up blaming you for things they themselves made up. Listen to their words when mad, it says what they wanted to say all along

rising: 9/10 im positive about this one tbh, like i as already mentioned in one of my posts before, they definetely have more of the "gemini" look than actual gemini sun people. They somehow look always very young or younger than they actually are atleast. Cute people <3 but maybe tend to be a little arrogant, what a tragedy

Aquarius

sun: 4/10 i definetely dont feel positive about aquas. Maybe its just the ones ive met i dont know, what ive experienced was just a complete turn off to be honest. Yet to be fair, i wanna mention they can be incredibly creative and there not getting enough credit for that. They have a universe inside of them they only show a few. Also very tragic

moon: 3/10 theyre over dramatic, Also not very good at expressing what bothers them so they tend to ghost people often - they can be mean as hell just bc they feel offended + they take things personally very fast

rising: 7/10 we're going somewhere. Aqua risings tend to be very upfront, maybe a little TOO upfront, to the point they will just shit on you just because. Well it could be better but as a friend of a friend, could be quite funny since they can be storytellers. but be warned: maybe ull become one of their stories

Capricorn

sun: 9/10 i really do like them, they always bring jokes that are just out of pocket but u will catch urself laughin still. They can be very mature and serious people if needed tho and they can give very good advice about whatever topic

moon: 7/10 lets not deny the fact that cap moons were probably the kids in school which always got mad if certain group projects weren't done how they would've done it, still I usually vibe with them bc theyre very trustworthy and empathic (if they want to)

rising: 8/10 i do feel good about it aswell - they come off as very collected, organized and clean. I feel like they take their first impression very seriously and are afraid anyone could NOT see them as anything i listed above. I miss a little resting here tho so cap rising: please consider a break!

Cancer

sun: 10/10 i love cancer suns, they so often possess such a calm yet bright energy which can influence the people all around them. Ive always felt so understood by cancers and memories with them always stuck out to me

moon: 6/10 i feel like cancer moons can be extremely problematic if not evolved. They tend to project their insecurities onto u too and make it your problem. They can be the person that always vents to you but will never let you vent to them. But evolved this placement can be just like cancer suns - incredibly understanding (maybe even psychic)

rising: 11/10 idk i find them a true masterpiece tbh. I feel like cancer risings look more like a "cancer" than typical cancer suns - its the same with gemini. I know i will probably be alone with this but i think this placement just left out all the "negative" traits about being a cancer and just claimed the best bc thats what it feels like to me

(More parts with more signs/placements are coming🌽)

[somebodycallixii]

tagged by @choitaeyang for the little P1ece questions thing :)

(ps im sorry i didnt answer all of the questions but i just didnt want the post to get too long!!)

1. Since when have you been a P1ece? I listened to Siren for the first time like early last fall, and found That's It a little later, and i remember thinking ok this is probably some well established group like their rapping and sound overall just really impressed me. (cut to surprised pika face when i found out OH THEY'RE LITERALLY ONLY A YEAR OLD)

2. What made you decide to stan P1H? i knew i liked their music but i decided to officially stan when i found out they were at FNC because n.flying is my ult, so i was like this must be a sign??? lmfao

3. Who is/are your bias(es)? jiung!

4. Your favourite era so far? in terms of music, Siren/Stand Out is my fav but in terms of looks/concept, Do It Like This/Find Out by a long shot.

5. Your favourite title track/MV? I like the MV for scared the best because the concept for it is really artistic, plus the falling rocks genuinely made me nervous so A+ for the immersive experience alkdflsdkjs

6. Your fav P1H choreo? the intro to Reset is so amazing, they are literally so in sync its mesmerizing to watch

7. Your fav b-sides? That's it is one of my favorite kpop songs ever, and idk if this counts as a title or a b side but i also love breakthrough a LOT

8. Your fav cover of theirs? MANIAC MANIAC MANIAC oh my god if you havent listened to it yet you have to. i love it even more because they were in charge of the creative direction for the video and they talked about how they had to put moodboards together and stuff. it makes me glad that they have some creative control for their content!!

10. Have you watched their little STAGE + performances? What’s your favourite? i havent seen all of them but this one with seob and intak is my favorite that ive seen. im usually not a fan of lyrical dancing like this but the beginning part is so good and i can just watch it over and over

12. Most iconic P1H tiktok in your opinion? soul glitching to the "listen to me now" audio fucking kills me. its literally so dumb but it cracks me up dlkfjsdlfs

13. A P1H moment you love? when they did the portrait drawing contest on Jongseobs birthday live, and keeho gave this big speech about how some artists arent appreciated in their time just bc he lost sldkfjlsk😭

16. A collab you’re hoping for? in their daebak show interview keeho and jiung said that they want to try more bandy music, so i think them working with n.flying would be so cool!! it would make my n.fia heart so happy

18. Fav lyric if you have one? "going my own way with two great danes, gotta stay humble like bill murray" certified iconic

19. Fav vocal, rapper and dancer? vocal has to be keeho, rapper jongseob, dancer soul!! why my own bias isnt on this list the world may never know.

23. Something you love about being a P1ece? I always love being a part of smaller fandoms because theres such a strong sense of community and dedication that sometimes gets lost in groups with huge fanbases. (in terms of like, when fanbases get bigger there can be lots of weird drama about voting or who should have won what or which fandoms are "fighting" one another but with smaller groups its like "woo!! we got a comeback!!" lmfao)It's a difficult balance, because while you want them to become successful and reach a larger audience, theres something special about stanning a newer/less well known group and feeling that camaraderie in fandom spaces.

Bonus: Anything P1Harmony-related that you want to recommend to your (non-P1ece) followers or to new P1eces?

Keeho covering "All of Me" by john legend genuinely surpasses the original, i could listen to this for days!! pls listen and be amazed!!!

[bakugoshrimp]

Comfort

Where Y/N has a breakdown, and Bakugo helps.

Pairing: Bakugo x Female!Y/N 

Word Count: 1.3k words 

A/N: So uhh, I feel like i took a lot of creative liberties here, but yeahh. This is purely self indulgent and ngl, most likely OOC (Out of Character) Bakugo. It also might seem dramatic considering she had a breakdown over a single grade, but again, it’s purely self-indulgent and yes I imagined this whole thing to calm myself down . Please be nice, but constructive criticism is welcome! Also, I have no clue what universe they’re in but its like a mix between BNHA and our reality lmao. Also I might come back to this and fix up grammatical errors and anything that sounds weird, and change up the title bc I’m extremely uncreative help.

Song: Ribs by Lorde (I’m in a Lorde phase don’t mind me)

It was loud. Loud in your head, loud in your ears, just loud. You tried to stop the feeling of numbness, tried to drown out the screaming thoughts by quickly stuffing your earphones into your ears, and increasing the volume of the music blasting through your earphones, tried to ignore the pain in your heart. 

My mom and dad let me stay home; It drives you crazy, getting old; This dream isn't feeling sweet; We're reeling through the midnight streets;  And I've never felt more alone; It feels so scary, getting old;

You tried to stop the tears from spilling as the meaning of everything just hit you, hit you so hard it just left you reeling, as you tried to reel all the thoughts all the feelings back into your heart, just to get everything to stop. You just wanted everything to stop, you didn't wanna feel hurt anymore; didn't want to feel scared anymore didn't want to feel pain anymore; it was all just so exhausting. 

But your brain wouldn't listen to you; drowning you with the thoughts swirling so fast you can only understand fragments of them. You can barely remember what happened as you ran out of the class, and to your room; lights off as you just curled up under your blanket, cuddling your plushie so hard as you tried, and failed, to keep the tears from falling.

It took him a total of 10 minutes for him to find you. He hadn't missed the heartbroken look on your face when they all received the marks for their weekly biology quizzes at the end of their class; hadn't missed the panic and exhaustion threading through your every movement for the month as you struggled to finish the overwhelming amount of assignments. 

He watched you as you waited until the classroom was empty when you tried to discretely flee to privacy, packing up your stuff as fast as you could, but not before he caught a glimpse of the big fat F scrawled on top. 

Cussing every single teacher under his breath, he jumped out of his seat. He knew you wanted to specialize in biology, and knew every single dream and worry you had, having spent nights just whispering to each other everything on nights you couldn't sleep from everything. 

He quickly followed you, knocking softly on the door to your room before slipping in, closing the door softly behind him because he knows how much you hate to cry in front of others; knows how much you hate showing this one weakness in front of others. You two were a lot alike in that regard. 

Crouching down in front of the bed, he uncovered your tear-stricken face from under the blanket, suppressing a wave of anger at everyone who made you cry. Your eyes were bloodshot, your eyelids swollen from all the tears.

You flinched slightly at the cool air sitting your wet face, a sharp contrast to the suffocatingly humid temperature under the blanket. You already knew who it was, had memorized the sound of his footsteps, but didn't dare to look at him, scared of crying if you do. 

"Why am I such a failure?" your hoarse voice was the only sound in the still room, hands still gripped tightly around your plushie. 

Bakugo chuckled slightly, clambering into your bed and hugged you, your tears wetting his dry shirt. "I ask myself that too, you know. Why are you such a dumbass?" 

A strong rough hand, gently but firmly gripped your chin, making your watery eyes meet his soft and determined crimson eyes. "Y'know, maybe you're a dumbass, but that doesn't make you a failure." 

"But I'm failing everything. This fricking course-"

"Two quizzes and an essay does not mean everything. You still have time, and you will still excel. And you can say f**ck you to those who say otherwise. So you bombed this quiz; that doesn't mean it's the end of the world for you. So many people around the world fail, but those experiences will only make them stronger and more fierce than ever." He said fiercely, fire red eyes burning into yours. "Why do you think we train so much? It's to make us make mistakes, and to learn from them." 

His warm lips touched your forehead in an endearing kiss, and added, "If you want, I can blow them out of the sky for you." 

You let out a watery giggle, and took a shuddering breath, inhaling his caramel scent and cologne. 

"So what do you do now?" Bakugo asked, after a few minutes of quiet contemplation. 

You simply burrowed your head further into his chest, your voice muffled as you said "I don't wanna do anything; I just wanna sleep here with you forever." 

Bakugo threw his head back as he barked out a rough laugh. "You and I know that's not possible, teddy bear. Plus would you let this one puny mark beat you down? Come on, you and I both know you're much stronger than that." 

"No I'm not." was your only reply. 

At that, Bakugo rolled off the bed, snatching the plushie from your arms as he stood up, the sudden loss of his body heat and the comforting weight of said plushie from your arms eliciting a whine. 

"Give it back," you whined, making grabby arms in Bakugo's general direction as you shoved your face into your pillow. 

"Nope, not until you admit to yourself that you're a much stronger person than you give yourself credit for," Bakugo demanded. 

"But that would be lying, and you hate lying." You accused, shooting up and turning around to face him. 

He simply leaned in, close enough that your noses are almost touching. "That's why you wouldn't be lying. Say it, or the stupid ugly thing gets it." To prove his point, tiny explosions crackled off his unoccupied hand.

"Hey!" you protested "it's not stupid nor ugly; it's just old. Stop bullying it." 

"Then say it." 

"Fine. I'm a strong person. Happy?" 

"Say it with conviction and believe in it too, dumbass." 

You let out a deep sigh, rolling your eyes as you said "I'm a strong person, and I won't let some puny stupid marks break me down because I'm much better than that." 

Seemingly satisfied with your answer, he leaned in and pecked your lips as he threw the plushie onto your bed. "Now get up. We have our chem lab report due midnight and I still haven't started mine, and I know you didn't start yours yet." 

You grumbled as you stood up and stretched, "I hate school." 

Bonus:

Bakugo grumbled over the stove, stirring the noodles as a delicious smell wafted around the mini kitchen. You were sitting on the counter nearby, hands wrapped around a mug of hot chocolate (it was originally black tea but Bakugo had swapped it quick so you would be able to sleep tonight), legs swinging slightly as you drifted away in your thoughts.

The explosive blonde turned around, smacking you back to reality with his wooden spoon. “Oi dumbass, stay with me here.”

He was well aware of your ability to dwell on past mistakes, even after your tears were long dried, which was the only reason why he decided to let you bully him into making fried noodles at 11 pm after both of you had successfully submitted your assignments.

You jolted back into reality, blinking at him. “Yeah I’m here don’t worry, ‘Suki”

He merely hmphed before turning to the stove, turning it off before separating the hot food into two different plates. Handing one to you, he gestured to the nearby table with his chin. After both of you finished your meals, a comfortable silence falling between you two as you simply enjoyed each others presence. Scooting your chair loudly to be next to his, you smacked your possibly greasy lips against his cheeks much to his disgust, and laid your head on his shoulder.

“ ’Suki?” you said, earning a questioning hrm from him. “Thank you.”

Ignoring the warm feeling blossoming in his chest, he simply slung an arm around you, pressing his lips to the side of your head in response.

[spacedustmantis]

ty for the tag luna <3

1. Were you named after anyone?

No, but my given name coincidently was also the name of a porn star, which made for a very confusing few weeks in elementary school. One of the first names i considered when i figured out i wasn't cis was salem, after the salem witch trials (bc i liked to think i was edgy), but that didn't stick. then i named myself after a guy from 'a beginners guide'

2. When was the last time you cried?

idk. can't remember, but that doesn't mean anything. for all i know it could've been yesterday and i just forgot.

3. Do you use sarcasm?

i have never once in my life used sarcasm (yes)

4. What's the first thing you notice about people?

usually the first thing i consciously take note of is if they're visibly queer. dyed hair, piercings, masc people with makeup, fem people without makeup, if they have certain pins or patches etc. i think it's more of a kinship thing than a safety thing

5. What's your eye color?

blue, but i've been told for a while now that over time apparently they got more and more green? i have yet to actually see that tho

6. Scary movie or happy ending?

honestly, since i'm such a sucker for a good narrative, i do not care as long as it's a satisfying ending (or not satisfying depending on the intended effect) and it fits with the themes and shit

7. Any special talents?

singing. i took cumulatively 6 or so years of vocal training and i think by now i'm pretty good (i'd fucking hope so). also i wanna say i'm a pretty good actor (not like hollywood or broadway level, but still decent)

8. Any pets?

my baby! we have a family dog that now i've moved out i don't see that often anymore. i love her tho. she's the cutest little crusty white dog i've ever known. i don't have many pictures of her since my phone camera is fucked up, but i have some

this was her when we got her in november of 2021:

and this is her now, around christmas:

also bc i think she looks so fucking stupid with short hair, this is her fresh from the dog barber:

9. What sports do you play/ have played?

my parents made me try out so many different things, jesus christ! most of them i did against my will, but the list is something like: handball (like football/soccer but you throw the ball instead), basketball, tennis, golf, dancing both hiphop and ballroom (the latter i did actually really enjoy, and i ended up doing that for four years before covid hit and i had to stop. i miss it), ballet, gymnastics, something called rhönrad (look it up it's so fucking sick), archery (for a very teeny tiny little bit, when i was in the psychiatric clinic), horseback riding, and also equestrian vaulting (had to look up what the fuck it was called in english)

i think that's it, but i might very well be missing something.

10. How tall are you?

172 cm (that's 5'8" i think)

11. What was your favorite subject in school?

early on i loved math, but then the teachers went bad and they taught too slow for me to stay entertained so it turned pretty boring. then german, bc i got to write stories, then later english (bc i was chronically online and therefore fluent at fucking 13), ethics, literature and theatre (yes we had a class about theatre), and astronomy

12. Dream job?

as a child i wanted to be an actor (and tbh if it were to happen i'd still be so fucking pumped), but now i wanna be either a script author or director. i just think sitting in the creative seat would be more fulfilling to me.

Tagging:

@lovejayferin @burning-sol + plus anyone who wants to join, yadda yadda, you know the drill

Thanks for the tag @theydoctor <3 :D

1. Were you named after anyone?

I named myself after Theodore Laurence from Little Women (a very trans book, go listen to the Jo's Boys podcast)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Recently. Like Friday maybe

3. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes :P though it is mostly in reaction to other people's sarcasm

4. What's the first thing you notice about people?

I think their vibe? like maybe their sense of style

5. What's your eye color?

Brown :)

6. Scary movie or happy ending?

false dichotomy but happy endings mainly

7. Any special talents?

I can solve a rubik's cube (it's a good fiddle)

8. Any pets?

My bby boys! We have two corgi/chihuahua puppies. they're 6 months old and I love them.

[Image description: 2 images of corgi/chihuahua puppies.

The first image is a brown and white corgi/chihuahua mix puppy standing outside with snow on his nose. Both his ears are standing up.

The second image is a brown corgi/chihuahua mix puppy standing outside with snow on his nose. His left ear is standing up while his right one flops downward.

End image description.]

9. What sports do you play/ have played?

I played volleyball and basketball as a youngun

10. How tall are you?

5'6

11. What was your favorite subject in school?

Probably lab days in Chemistry :D titration my beloved

12. Dream job?

Public librarian or archivist. In community with others, in some way for sure.

Tagging: @prismartist, @sherlock-is-ace, and @join-me-in-the-bog. No pressure tho!

[phantaloon-books]

(some) Riordanverse characters (bc I never read TKC) and which Hogwarts House I think they would be in

Warning: this is a long one

Nico: the dude is definitely Gryffindor without a doubt. Like Sorting isn't about some traits and some characteristics, it's about core personality. He may have gone through some of the roughest stuff when he was 10-12, and he was resentful and bitter, but he was brave and bold af throughout everything he did. From learning about his powers, to using them relentlessly despite knowing how exhausted he is afterwards, to his willingness to do whatever is necessary to do what has to be done, because it has to be done. You can't change my mind that he's Gryffindor lol.

Grover: Do I even need to explain why he's Gryffindor? He's a satyr, and even if we're shown strong satyrs, they're not really supposed to be brave fighters. Yet he is one of the strongest, bravest nature spirits we've ever encountered in the Riordanverse, and one of the bravest in general. Like he's so passionate about doing what is good, he's a hero, and the only thing he doesn't match with common Gryffindors is that he's humble and as far from arrogant as could be possible, but it doesn't take his courage away.

Hazel: She's Gryffindor, and core personality-wise, she and Nico are very much alike. They don't ever think about themselves, like Hazel really always does what has to be done, no matter the cost, I mean she literally died preventing Gaea to rise the first time, and she freed Thanatos while believing he would take her back to the Underworld. She's brave af, and she has one of the most strong willpower we've seen in the Riordanverse. She's a passionate hero, and she's the closest thing to a real knight in shining armor.

Lester: I'm gonna place him in Gryffindor because I don't think he fits in in the other houses lmao. That said, as Apollo he's very shitty, but as Lester, he's one of the most courageous people. He's grown so much, he's so willing to actually do stuff now, and sacrifice everything to do what's right, including his life, even if he doesn't know he's gonna survive. Hell, he really went most of TTT with an incredibly painful wound that nearly turned him undead, and he cared more for the future of Camp Jupiter than his own life. Additionally, he's a bit arrogant and cocky, but he truly means well, I love Lester so much.

Clarisse: Look look, all I have to say is that no one could have pulled off less than half the stuff Clarisse has done, she's so Gryffindor it hurts. She's reckless and impulsive, but she's driven by her passion to do good, even if she's the daughter of war, and was bullied by her own father. She's daring, she's bold and she is the hero. She's also arrogant and thinks she can solve everything by herself, something characteristic more of the canon Gryffindors in the books, rather than what the fans have shaped. In fact, she's very much like Gryffindors in the books, who are actually very rude to other houses and think they're the best. Still, at heart, she's in this house.

Alex: I'm in a huge dilemma about where to put them, but I reckon they'd fit pretty fine in Gryffindor. Not only are they daring and courageous, they're proud of who they are, but not in a too full of themselves kind of way, rather in a 'I am who I am, and if you can't accept me, fuck off' kind of way. They can get carried away rather easily though, and very arrogant, thinking they don't need anyone else, when they do in fact need some company. They are one of the kindest and at the same time most ambitious characters we've met, but they are brave beyond understanding in a very personal way, thus, Gryffindor.

Percy: I think it's fair to say he'd be Hufflepuff, because loyalty is literally his fucking fatal flaw, and he is the kindest sweetheart to all those who deserve it, he goes out of his way to help those who need help, whether that be mortals, halfbloods, gods, magical creatures or even his own enemies. He's too good for this world, and even if he's grown a bit bitter, he always looks to fight justly for what is right, and never loses faith in others. That, and the fact that he turned down immortality so that the olympians were more inclusive of minor gods, and their children were treated better. He's just a lovely soul, he's like 80% Hufflepuff so that's enough for me. All that and he's stubborn as hell.

Jason: Hufflepuff. Just, undoubtedly Hufflepuff. Like he seems to be this cold and self centered hero with a superiority complex (bc of all the son of Jupiter stuff) but he's the softest guy there is. Not only is he hardworking, open minded and kind, he appreciates justice but he doesn't seek for revenge or anything, he makes sure people are treated fairly and wants everyone to be accepted. Proof of that is how he continued Percy's job of including more gods, and made sure Nico felt comfortable with who he was. He truly has a heart of gold. (He deserved better btw)

Meg: God I can't decide between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, but I think I'll go with the former. She's so strong, my baby, she's faced so much wrong, but she's still so kind and understanding of others, especially those who deserve kindness. She puts up such a hard facade, but she's so patient and warm and inclusive. She's brave and strong (as strong as the big three kids, if not stronger), but she's also so loyal to her beliefs despite how she was forced someone else's beliefs for years, so I'll keep her in Hufflepuff. Also, she's stubborn af, and she can be lazy, so that settles it.

Will: I KNOW some people will say Will could be in other houses that are not Hufflepuff, BUT I won't have it any other way. Will is literally the warmest person ever. He is kind and sympathetic and enthusiastic and patient and inclusive. Like Helga Hufflepuff would take one look at him and lose her shit screaming "mine". He's the guy who saw the son of Hades so many people were scared of and immediately grabbed his hand and transfered him some warmth and didn't let him go ahead and get himself killed. He's also the one who everyone loves and likes, so much that Clarisse gets along with him and he can calm her down. He's the ideal Hufflepuff, you can't change my mind.

Magnus: I mean, what else can you expect from the son of the god of summer? He's literally a guy who heals others with warmth. He's also the guy who spent years on the street with the most difficult situations, and accepts every single person the way they are. He's inclusive af, and tolerant of everything. He's the guy who's closest include a deaf elf, a Muslim valkyrie, and a black dwarf, and he's dating a genderfluid person. Yes he's brave, and he's kinda smart, and he's ambitious, BUT none of those qualities overpower his Hufflepuff nature.

Piper: Kinda debated whether Gryffindor or Ravenclaw fits more, but in the end I went with Ravenclaw. Even though she isn't a fighter, she's very very brave, yet her bravery isn't compared to her wits. Like others in the PJOverse, she wins her fights by outsmarting her opponents, but unlike others that's one of her strongest traits. She's witty and creative and a little on the negative side, she really struggled to work in a group rather than by herself. On another note, she's able to keep calm in crazy situations and come up with the craziest most unthinkable solutions (I'm talking borderline ridiculous) that always somehow work. She's not booksmart, but she knows so much about everything, and she's lifesmart you know?

Reyna: Why are some of these so hard? Deeply debating whether she'd be Ravenclaw or Slytherin. In the end I'd go more for Ravenclaw though. Reyna's smart as hell, she's strong and sharp, and she always sees the best way out of a situation. She's witty and observant, being able to keep her cool in battle and lead others in the best direction. She's always looking to grow, and she prefers to do things on her own, but she's a great leader. She has some Slytherin qualities, and she's not learning as learning oriented as others, but she's definitely Ravenclaw.

Sam: Let's face it, Sam has the only active neurons in all of MCGA, she's definitely Ravenclaw. I'm gonna be honest though, I've only read MCGA once, so I can't remember much of their personalities, but Sam is witty and clever, pretty much the only one who can come up with competent plans, while the others rely mostly on luck and whatever plan they can cook up in 5 seconds. She's loyal and true to who she is, and she's extremely courageous and proud of who she is, but her sharpness is what she stands out for me, which is why I put her in Ravenclaw.

Annabeth: I know the obvious option is Ravenclaw, but I genuinely think she's also Slytherin. Yes she is booksmart and wise like Ravenclaw, but her personality matches Slytherins' ambitious, cunning and resourceful nature. She's smart as fuck, but she's calculative, she always finds a way to end up winning, and while she does so by outsmarting her opponents, she wouldn't need to outsmart them if she weren't so competitive. I feel like there's this 40/60 odds on Slytherin rather than Ravenclaw, but it's that small difference that counts. Plus her leadership skills are so powerful that people don't ask, they just know she's the boss.

(Also just picture the sweet and loyal Hufflepuff boy with the strong and cunning Slytherin girl, like it should be as opposite as it is with Poseidon and Athena, but they're so cute)

Leo: Idk what you can expect that's not Slytherin. This boy is the embodiment of ambition and determination. Reminder that not all Slytherins are bad btw (I'm slytherin myself), but like he's life smart and cunning, and he can analyze situations faster than anyone else. He's charismatic and talented, and there's no one to stop him from triumphing. I don't have much to say, I just know he'd be in Slytherin.

Rachel: She's kinda a difficult one, and I struggle between Gryffindor and Slytherin, and tbh I'm still not sure. But I think I'd place her in Slytherin, because even if she's brave af (especially since she was a mortal fighting in a war out of her power), her main trait is her determination. When she's set on something, she gets it done. You can't tell her she can't do something, because she will find a way to do it. She's kind, and she's only a mortal, but she still has incredible power unlike any other. I don't think I can really name it, but I think she'd be put on Slytherin with much difficulty from the Sorting Hat.

Luke: Where else could Luke possibly go? On the meaner side Slytherins have created themselves, Luke would be part of those misled by who preceded them, by those who want to take advantage of their mistreatment (bc let's face it, Slytherins are mistreated by both students and Hogwarts staff), and turn them cold and bitter. Luke is ambitious and manipulative, being manipulated himself, and it comes easily because of his natural charisma and talent. He's very freaking determined and cunning too. He'd fit right into Slytherin, but he'd be viewed as one of the rotten lot.

Thalia: I don't have much to say about this, but Thalia is the girl whose fatal flaw is their desire for power (or smth along those lines), just like most Slytherins. She's ambitious, she's smart, she's truly talented, she stands out between the rest, and she knows it, and she actually kinda likes it.

(Also I put Annabeth, Thalia and Luke in the same house because they're all kinda similar, even if their beliefs and postures are different.

Frank: Ngl I'm having more difficulty with Frank than anyone else. I'm kinda torn between Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. I literally can't choose. He'd fit perfectly in any of them lmao, I just can't decide where he'd go. You decide this one yourself.

Please keep in mind, this is my personal opinion and my take on the characters, and not all of you will agree, and that's fine! You can let me know what you think (kindly please, don't come at me), and if you want to, send me an ask on a character you want me to do the same as these (as long as it's not TKC, I'M SORRY I haven't read those) go ahead, don't be shy!