#yet i know im not i just feel like i am cause lowkey didn't think id get this far

[the-grimm-writer]

Not this song playing on my 23rd birthday love that

[theplottdump]

EEP! My story queen wants to yap? Then yap we shall baby girl!

1, 7, 8, 10, 13 (or ya know, maybe a selection of these since ya girl went a lil wild and chose a whole bunch 😌)

1. Do you hide any secrets in your stories that only a few people will find?  

Scully you're not gonna believe this

7. Do you have any characters you believe might be misunderstood by your readers?

CLAP - CLAP CLAP CLAP Say it with me now -

OUR PHANTOM IS A NEW CHARACTER WE HAVEN'T FULLY MET YET 👏👏👏

8. Are there any plots or characters that have changed dramatically since you initially began writing them?  

(Proto-Poppy's Cult Fit circa late 2023, Root test shots from May)

For this arc everything has been pretty steady. I knew what information I wanted to get across, what points I needed to hit as set up for the Finale of Gen 6 and Gen 7. The biggest change has probably been the Bar scene.

Originally I had it planned as a little dance hall scene. The girls diffuse tension by getting the town to do a little choreographed line dance to Beyoncé's Texas Hold Em. But I didn't want to pose out a line dance, it felt like too much work. So I said hey- what if i made myself do three times that work instead? And it turned into a flashback clip show that took me three weeks to complete, but I think in the end it was way better cause I got to hop back and forth and show little scenes from the past. Revisiting the High School Prom post explosion was probably my favorite.

One Other Change: I originally planned the Christmas Ranch to roughly mirror the layout of Magic Town, with the Stables as the Big Top and the Gazebo as the Carousel. The original plan was to have Poppy chasing the Phantom as the ridiculous environment of the Christmas Ranch slowly morphed and twisted into the Carnival. This got scrapped because I lowkey forgot I wanted to do that, and yeeting her into a canyon felt more realistic than following a ghost for 10 miles back to the Ranch. Eventually she was supposed to catch up to our Masked Man, turn him around, and snap herself back to reality seeing she had turned around Alejandro in the real world.

( horse portkey! horsekey! )

This was scrapped because 1. It's a little confusing since the Phantom is NOT Ale. (see Question number 7 again) and 2. It morphed into more of a "I need to find something to get out of here before I'm corrupted" situation, so there was no reason for her to chase the Phantom any more.

Shoutout to @doctorsimcraft for suggesting Ale dropping his glasses and turning it into a little inter-dimensional meet cute instead.

And if you wanna be a freak about it like I am, technically he touched her hand before she could touch the glasses. :')))

10. If you could choose to be one of your characters for a day, which one would it be? 

SUNNY. I wanna explore underwater caverns with my shitty lil mermaid bestie.

13. What characters do you feel most connected to? Why do you feel connected to that character?

I'd say Poppy. Not like on a personal - IM JUST LIKE YOU / YOU'RE JUST LIKE ME - level, but on a - "I really like this character and oh baby girl you are just getting started I'm so sorry" way.

Also she's fucking on to me man.

[whirlwindimagines]

HELLO WHIRLL!!

May I request a Wolfwood X Gn reader, for the reader doesn’t show emotion, but when their childhood friend Nicolas is hurt that’s when they let their emotions out ?

Like say Nicolas wasn’t thinking and jumped right into danger in the heat of the moment and it pissed reader off cause he almost died💥💥

And could this be friends to lovers as well?

Thank you so much, i hope you’re having a good day/night stay hydrated! <3 and please take your time there’s no rush :))

Hello! <3 Thank you for the request! <3 Also I’m so sorry these are always so long, I am incapable of writing anything less than 800 words it seems. Okay Im always going to be a Vash girly, he has my heart. But lowkey writing all this Wolfwood stuff is kinda turning me into a Wolfwood girly as well.

'Bad ideas, and big guns'

Nicholas D. Wolfwood x Reader

This was a bad idea, you knew Wolfwood could feel your glare on the back of his head. This was a bad idea ever since he got sideswiped by that reporter's car. You always followed without complaint, you knew he had his missions and you didn't ask what they intended. You didn't ask a lot of questions these days, just secretly happy to be at Nicholas's side again. Both growing up in that orphanage, you left first. It was by happenstance that you got away and never looked back. 

Running into Wolfwood again was quite the shock, maybe it was the guilt of abandoning him to his fate that kept you at his side. He didn't seem to mind, he tried to keep you out of it all. But you could fight, and you could kill, it made you use when needed. However, your opinion apparently didn't matter to Wolfwood, you thought it was dangerous to get too caught up in it all. It was getting too personal with Vash and his ragtag group; you knew it and Wolfwood knew it too.

Expect the stubborn ass wasn't listening, and was ignoring you now. It didn't matter, he wouldn't be able to tell what you were thinking anyway. You always had your emotions locked down, it made surviving easier when you could turn it all off. With a sigh you turned your gaze away, this town was like every other one you’d come across. Wolfwood and Vash were at the bar, Roberto was out having a smoke and you were sitting with Meryl at a table in the corner. 

You don't know how it starts, but it always happens too quickly. Guns are drawn on Vash, he doesn’t want to fight and it causes an uproar. You lose sight of Vash and Wolfwood as you drag Meryl out of the bar for some cover, you curse shoving Meryl out of the way as bullets rain down on the two of you. 

Moving behind some crates you bring out your own weapon, these small fries would be easy to handle. No, the real problem was the guy with the tank rolling in, you sigh leaning your head back. One normal day would be nice, just one. You hope Meryl is in a safer spot when you lean out of cover to start shooting. 

You don't get to hide for long when the tank is turned toward you. Your eyes widen as you scramble to your feet to get away. The sound is deafening, you drop to the ground. Nearly avoiding the hit, someone grabs you by the back of your shirt and hauls you to your feet. You bring your gun around to backhand them only for it to be blocked by Wolfwoods large weapon, you frown he smirks. “That’s the thanks I get for saving ya?”

“We’re not out of this yet.” You hiss, at him as he drags you behind a building. “Stay here, one blast from the punisher and it’ll bring it down.” Wolfwood doesn’t look at you as he says this, you yank on his arm to get him to turn. “That’s a stupid idea, you might not be able to a charged shot. Don't jump in without a real plan!” Wolfwood shoves you back hard, and you stumbled catching yourself on the building. “Worry about yourself.” 

You watch him take off weapon in hand, spinning it to engage its laser mode. You hate when you are right, it takes a moment too long to charge the tank fires first, Wolfwood second. The shots meet in a giant explosion. You're forced to move back behind the building, covering your eyes from all the dust and debris falling. 

The town goes silent, you leave your hiding spot. Heart-racing Wolfwood had to be directly in the blast, “Wolfwood” you called out, trying to keep your voice calm, you noticed a building in the back now has a large hole in it. Racing over you search through the debris, “Nicholas!” your voice definitely rose an octave higher as you dropped to your knees beside him, shoving wood off of him. 

He was knocked out and bleeding badly, your hands searched through its pockets finding one of the vials he carried around. Snapping the end off, you forced the liquid down his throat. Sitting back on your heels with a sigh as his wounds began to heal. You place your hand on his cheek, “Wolfwood? Can you hear me?” You ask it softly, his eyes open to your smiling face. 

“See one shot is all it took.” Your smile turns to a frown when you grab him sharply by the shoulders and begin to shake him. “You asshole! Would you just listen to me once!” you snapped out, your voice shaking with slight fear. “God I just want to hit you! Don't you ever think?” Wolfwood looks at you in shock, grabbing both of your wrists to stop your assault. “Worried about me?” he says it with that stupid smirk of his, now you really want to hit him. 

You shove him back hard, and he yelps, “I’m always worried about your dumbass!” You stand, turning to leave you don't get very far when Wolfwood grabs you by the ankle causing you to fall. You catch yourself on your hands, kicking him forcing him to let go and he yells out a ‘hey!’ 

You huff turning over to sit and look at him, ��And just what was that for?” he's giving you an odd look one that unfortunately makes your heart race, Wolfwood sits up, leaning his arms over his bent knees he smirks as you. “I like this side of you, the fight.” You groan, face heating up at his words. 

“You bring out the worse in me.” You say it with a light laugh.

“I think you bring the best out in me.” He says it too seriously. 

You pause at his words, he’s staring at you openly now “Careful now, sounds like you care about me.” You say it lightly, allowing him to pull back if he needs to, you smile as he looks away nervous. Wolfwood always put on such a show for other people, but to you, he’d always be that awkward kid back in the orphanage who tried to get you to laugh. God how the two of you had grown. 

“And if I do?” He turns back to you, grinning now. Ah, so it looks like he's not going to pull back, good. You sit up on your knees in front of him, leaning in. “I would say the feelings are mutual.” You smirk grabbing him by the collar of his shirt roughly and pulling him towards you. “You ever pull that shit again I'm killing you myself got it?” 

“Got it.” He grabs you by the back of your head and pulls you in for a kiss. You roll your eyes, leaning into the kiss, at least you got to wipe that smirk off his face.

[maidragoste]

hello! i hope your day has been well!!

its me again, I've come to rant....

this show has driven me to the point of insanity and not in a good way. its the common cause of bad writing good scenery. like the writers focused more on the surroundings and costumes and hair then the actual plot and the actual writing and dialect that needs to take place.

aemond is actually a crazy man, like not him forcing everyone to march to the riverlands knowing daemon resides there instead of trying to garner other areas that could go head to head with them OR instead of getting more men. also not him putting alicent in her place because she helped create the patriarchal environment so now she has to deal with the fact she's raised horrible men.

also if aemond is that way with his mother, imagine if he had a wife?? i'd be scared for her. like alicent needs to slap him because i would lowkey. she slapped aegon so much as a kid, she forgot to slap aemond to keep his ego at ground level.

daemon having hallucinations for a tenth millionth episode is too much for me bro, like he needs more help than i do. like he's actually crazy and not him thinking it was simon doing it when its alys.

also alys having to give daemon life lessons is crazy to me. like thank goodness shes like 100 stuck in a young body because her wisdom must prevail and she looks young so people will listen ish.

not rhaenyra kissing mysaria like what is actually happening?? like too many heart to hearts, like they're good, but what do they add??

aemond wanting to actively kill everyone is beyond me like he's the real villain. like he doesnt care about the small folk and parades dragon heads like he's at a festival like he would make a bad ruler. i'm starting to think he's maegor the cruel not even with teats just maegor the cruel lol. like he is on a kinslaying spree.

aegon was even scared of aemond though he claims not to remember im sure he does and didn't want aemond to know because he knows his brother would kill him to silence him. like if the maester didn't walk in...

alicent realizing her dad is the only one who gave her power is wild and gwayne inadvertently telling her she failed as a mom was tier like she lowkey did in a way bro. like daeron is kind because he didn't grow up with your kids and your nonsense. like idk how helaena is even surviving because poor girl.

this whole show is so bad, but i have to watch to the end type of bad like it's not like i read the books yet to make the comparison so i'm not like uh "ohhh but in the book!!" like these are general observations that anyone can make about the show. it's not good and if i was the author of the book...i'd be a little pressed at all the fillers and them saying there's gonna be a 3rd season when this one has too many fillers....

sorry for the entire essay, and thank you for being a good listener and active responder!!

hi anon, how are you?

I was late in responding because I am sick and I only saw the episode today hahaha

I think I didn't suffer so much with this episode because I read your ask first so I already knew what was coming xd

I feel like I shouldn't laugh but the comment that Alicent should have hit Aemond made me laugh a lot 😭😭

About the hallucinations, I'm glad I was right that there was going to be a hallucination with Viserys, but I can understand why so many hallucinations are getting boring, and I didn't like it so much that Viserys is saying dialogues that he already said in the first season. they could have invented something

I'M WITH YOU. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW DAEMON SUSPECTED SIMON STRONG. POOR LORD, HE NEVER DID ANYTHING TO HIM 😭😭

honestly i didn't expect to like alys but i like her dynamic with daemon

I don't know how to feel about the kiss, a part of me already saw a tension between them and I like that they confirmed rhaenyra as bisexual but I don't know how they are going to continue with this plot

I honestly don't know what to think of Aemond's writing anymore ☠️☠️ I feel like even the maester doesn't trust him

I loved the conversation about Daeron (I'm just a girl who gets excited at every mention of him). I felt sorry for Alicent, I really don't think Gwayne wanted to make her feel bad 🥺

My friend and I also thought that the show went bad (we also read the book) but we still continue watching it because we already started it and we want to see some things that are to come

Thank you for writing to me and I hope you are well 💖💖

[cipher26]

this is truly a tmi but i have no friends to talk to about this stuff so here i am, yet again.

hooked up with a guy from tinder tonight. first time having sex. i'm quite proud of myself for going through with it instead of chickening out. i'm also quite surprised at how not nervous i was, which is either testament to my maturity and Growth™️, or a result of the anxiety meds which must be working wonders, absolutely top quality product right there. 10/10

it was also interesting that like...not only was i not nervous and less awkward than normal, but it didn't feel like...shocking? idk i lost the word i wanted, but like touching someone and having them touch me just felt normal. it wasn't weird or embarrassing or whatever, which again...testament to the cocktail of drugs im on lmao. but anyway, idk. i'm a pretty lowkey person to begin with, but it is hard to tell how you'll react to certain situations until you're there.

anyway it was great actually. i mean the guy was fine, attractive but also kinda basic like... the "do we really need a condom?" kind of basic which was almost funny. textbook "high school peer pressuring boy from the examples in sex ed class" kind of basic. it def wasn't romantic in any way, which is probably better for me at this moment. also it didn't last very long lol, and i didn't cum. not surprising but i did have some hope. thank goodness for the toys i have at home. and then i just left.

i'm sure most people would be shocked or appalled that my first time wasn't "special" or whatever (i didn't tell him i was a virgin, i told him "it's been a long time" cause i'm not gonna date the guy and didn't want to deal with that drama, and also i've used toys so it wasn't my first rodeo in a lot of ways).

but the thing is, most of the moments in my life that were supposed to be special, these milestones people romantacize, they were never that special for me. in fact i missed out on most of those life events entirely, for reasons. so this was really on brand for my life i guess. i'm just glad it was on my terms.

oh also it was truly just a quick fuck, there was no kissing involved, which is even funnier when you think about it cause i've never been kissed cause no one cares about me. lmao. my life is so ass backwards i can only laugh about it at this point.

i will say, it was an amazing confidence boost though. physically i'm in the worst shape i've ever been in, and have been convinced my whole life that no one could possibly find me attractive. but he did. i actually felt sexy. and suddenly i don't feel so... different i guess. idk i'm not saying the words right, but you know what i mean she says to the ether. i genuinely think the adhd meds have also helped, because i've been taking care of myself more lately, in some ways anyway. definitely not with eating food... so i think that helped me have enough confidence to even go for it in the first place. i almost didn't out of habit, but then i was like "bitch you are on this app for literally one reason..."

and also i walked into a bodega and bought condoms and didn't feel weird or embarrassed about that either...

honestly i have been wondering if these meds have maybe numbed my personality a bit, cause there are a lot of things going wrong in my life right now and yet i don't feel the familiar ache and coldness of the depression. but maybe this is how normal people function all the time, and i'm not being numbed i'm just feeling what normal people feelings are supposed to feel like for the first time ever, lmfao. i need a focus group of neurotypicals to compare notes with. "so these barely there feelings is how you experience life all the time? it's not an extreme rollercoaster of emotion? weird." lol.

anyway that's enough of that. i did jokingly say to myself earlier "you should lose your virginty before you have to move back in with family in a month, and for the forseeable future" and i didn't think it would actually happen but then it did lol. high five to myself.

anyway if you're still reading this for whatever reason, and you relate to my anxiety/depression/adhd fun factory combo, and you haven't talked to a doctor about trying meds to help manage, i highly recommend you do. i was so against it for so long, and it took me many years to admit that i needed help. and not just that, but that i WANTED help because i was so tired of struggling every day. but it has been such a relief. it's taken over a year of trying and adjusting meds (and convincing the doc that i definitely have adhd) to get to this point, but it's been so worth it. i feel like i'm finally getting to a place where im actually able to live my life, aside from the I'm Broke factor, and i know for a fact i would be a mess without the antidepressants because i'm literally in the middle of losing everything i've worked for for the past 15+ years, including my home, literally, and yet im able to get out of bed and exist and even laugh! that absolutely would not have been the case 2 years ago. so if you need help, please don't be afraid to ask for it. it's so worth it.

strange moral lesson to end this post with but.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[meatriarchived]

i cannot sleep for the life of me due to nausea, im running on maybe like. twenty solid minutes of the Essence of Sleep™ than any substantial sleep so. whatevers below may not make a lick of sense etc but imma just ramble until maybe my eyes kinda tucker out on me and whenever i become more human again ill revisit this so. possibly take it with a grain of salt

and also possible cw in the just case i ramble about anything like g.ore / injury / murder what have you. also nothing is meant to like. pigeonhole interactions into what this mess might have in it. i am simply wordvomiting at this point from lack of rest fingerguns

so when i think about the, what, i think they said roughly a month that maria's been missing? ( dont quote me pls but thats the estimated timeframe i have in my head so if its not then.... vague hand gestures ) with the implication that she's been captive so long, obviously comes with some thread-pulling on the usual M.O. of the family, which is typically yknow, kill quickly get the body taken care of so ideally no ones' missing their loved ones long enough to follow any trails. which, in that case, would mean that more than likely maria ( maybe others in the past ) were kept around as a plaything of sorts, a thing to toy with, to break.

and while i could see it being done so by johnny, for whatever his motive could possibly be to keep her alive for any prolonged period of time. frankly? i could more easily see her being kept alive for so long because of nancy. if maybe its just the womans' vitriolic nature that compels her to do so with a random victim from time to time, esp with her voicelines about some conjured up "attraction" regarding johnny on marias' part ( no ), its like. i could so easily see the woman being a big part of why they didn't kill her off as quickly - to teach her a lesson? to taunt her needlessly? to take out her sick anger on? who knows. but thats what im more inclined to at the moment when it comes to how i portray maria, esp in her Living aus.

its partly why ive got the itch in the back of my mind tho to possibly take on nancy when shes released ( i want to have more info on her esp before i decide to or not ). the woman just has so much venom in her and as much as it compels me to wanna hoist her up and throw her at a wall, shes like the hoyt of the game so far - theyre meant to be disgustingly cruel and vile and disturbing characters. but shes such a... nice foil in a sense to both luda and to maria.

like luda's not unfamiliar to killing, shes got blood on her hands in spite of her age, but shes not unnecessarily violent like nancy. luda harms or kills to get the job done - nancy has too much fun with it, she seems like she likes to take her time with people she fixates on and she seems as if she'd going out of her way to cause an abundance of unneeded harm to her victims. id argue that luda is respected in the family for her guidance and her role as matriarch, nancys' just lowkey straight-up feared to a degree because of how 0 - 10000 she can get. i can see them losing alot of potential food because she just...frankly goes way too far at times handling victims, that it makes the body mostly if not completely unusable to be butchered properly.

all that to say, yeah johnnys the one that herded maria to the family and sure i can see being why she wasn't killed immediately for likely just toying with her for a bit, tho with him i can feel the novelty of doing so could dwindle fairly quick; but i can see nancy being why shes still alive almost a month later, and in such rough shape yet still being kept alive ( in reference to her worse wounds being stitched up - if speaking with thomas in mind, he does enjoy sewing and will sew victims up if they arent ready or needing to be butchered right away so, could argue that he / bubba were told to do so by nancy to prolong maria's suffering. )

as for maria, in the aftermath of it all, its difficult to describe the types of injuries she definitely has because frankly when you consider the idea of her being alive for those weeks, her injuries must have been consistent and substantial, yknow? shes severely m.alnourished, severely dehydrated. physically shes a complete wreck and i truly think that until she saw ana and her friends? she'd gotten to the point of being shut down to it all and was simply waiting for death to take her in its arms ( which, i think if we think about nancy having a hand in keeping her so long, the lack of fight / reaction likely set her off in a different way than she's used to victims behaving and made her want to prolong marias life just to spite her ). like. at the end of it all, these people genuinely terrify and disgust and have t.raumatized her so badly, imagine being in her position for weeks.

maria's entire worldview and thoughts on people in general were so severely trampled on by this one singular family unit; she could never blindly trust people again, paranoia of being followed like she was, flinching from physical contact with people. she feels a shiver of fear when people smile broadly because she views it as having a sinister motive behind it. so much of her trust and willingness to see a shred of good in people by default just, shattered completely.

to note: i am still awake and my eyes are not tired yet and i am internally sobbing cause at this point im not going to get any sleep until later in the day cause i have errands to run in a couple hrs but im gonna cut this here dsfbjhkas

i'll end it here tho by noting that, should this make sense in terms of nancy by the time shes in game and all, then theres a good chance she'll ( unfortunately ) be added but also

in terms of the slightest sliver of a chance that, should one of the friends locate maria years after shes gone off to the pacific north west on her own and tell her about the plans to return to the house?

imma just be real and say maria may or may not wanna beat the ever-loving shit outta nancy if she somehow still has the audacity to be breathing- dsasdjk

[xamaxenta]

FUCK OK HERE WE GO ILL TRY TO REMEMBER ALL OF IT CAUSE YEAH IT WAS PRETTY LONG SDKJHLFG

So Marco sees Ace being pinned against a wall by one of his producers and the first thing he wants to do is tackle him to the ground and maybe throw in a punch or two but he just stares daggers into the man and keeps his voice even as he asks, "Am I interrupting something?" He tries his best to keep his calm if there's even the slightest chance he's misreading the situation.

Ace's eyes dart back and forth, anxious out of his mind and lowkey mortified marco found him like this and his leg is trembling from his injury and he curses himself for his voice being gone as he tries to speak and keep calm as well "My,,, my leg hurts. I need-- help,,"

Marco knows he's telling the truth in a surface level way and a deeper way. Yeah, his leg really looks like it's killing him, but the way Ace's voice almost broke when he stuck on that last statement. Marco is able to easily pick up what he means.

The producer shoots a look at Ace and growls at him. "You didn't tell me about that. You," he looks at Marco, "You get out of here if you know what's good for you."

Marco approaches and puts his hand on the man's shoulder, firm and tight, and tries to show the man some patience and understanding cause despite how much he wants to clock this guy in the face he knows producers are important and this really should be solved as smoothly as possible like "I've come to find him to take him to a walk-in clinic, his leg is really bothering him and it needs to be looked at."

The man releases one of Ace's wrists to slap Marco's hand away and face him more and he scoffs at him, "You've got some nerve, you nobody. I need to speak privately with my star here, if you could--"

Ace can feel the animosity growing and Marco wanting to murder him with every passing second, so suddenly Ace starts gasping and wailing and collapsing in on himself and holding his leg "M-Marco! Marco, it really hurts! I think something's wrong!!"

And that puts Marco in zero-in focus mode on him like ace oh my god whats wrong are you okay can you stand can you walk let's get you out of here and the producer is too stunned by the sudden screaming like oh my god this really is an emergency

Marco practically carries him to his car and drops him in the passenger seat and he keeps up the act until the doors are closed and Marco's driving away and its a real quiet ride cause marco tries to question him asking if hes really okay (first about his leg then about his mind) and ace is almost disassociating and shrugging him off cause in reality he's feeling absolutely horrible about himself cause not only did he let that happen to him (he's supposed to be stronger than that, hell he could probably benchpress the guy's weight and yet he still cornered ace like a scared rat) he let marco see him weak like that. hes so pathetic marco's gotta think hes so pathetic now and its not a fun interaction that ensues

*prints this off ten times and stuffs it in my mouth*

This is some HAUTE cuisine my compliments to the chef holy shit yall anons are COOKING

I love dramatics, i also think whether Ace was very much in pain or not utilising drama to get out of the situation is smart of him poor thing :(( youd have to be a giga asshole to ignore someone saying theyre in pain when there’s a witness (unfortunately this is common irl but yknow im not going to focus on that bc its . Sad)

AaaaAAAAAA BRIDAL CARRY THO can i just say the vibes immaculate

The amount of comfort n care after this encounter in the safety of the car is driving me insane like

Ace realising he can relax and feel safe, his manager might be blowing up his phone rn but he just turns it off hes tired and overwhelmed

[purrhwa]

WARMTH — choi jongho

genre — fluff

you and jongho have been dating for your sister's request, but never really grew close even after months. you're unsure if he actually likes you back or is just dating you because your little sister told him to do so.

a/n: i wrote this at 1 AM pls don't come for my ass </3 im on my jongho soft hours so why not write fluff for my baby :D

— the song is lowkey short so i recommend playing it on repeat or listen to the other songs that spotify will play automatically if ever you're gonna listen to it while reading <333

time check: six pm, the sky already has the orange hues that are more beautiful than ever and the colder breeze that makes your skin shiver. jongho was beside you, walking as he protectively shields you from any possible dangers.

but not from the cold, however.

you wrap your hands around his waist and you feel him stiffen from your touch - you giggle lightly, he's still a bit awkward to you. you guys have only been dating for 3 months either way, jongho isn't really the type who's used of receiving physical affection.

you were about to let go as you didn't want to make him uncomfortable - you were just gonna share with his body heat anyways, it shouldn't take that long for your body to get warmer from him.

he wraps his arm around your shoulder, knowing damn too well of what you're thinking. not your intention, though.

"don't let go."

he pulls you closer to him and held his head high, the blush was so visible. he wanted to seem cool for you so he didn't show you, but he can't really hide it - you smile as you remove your second hand from him for you two to be able to walk properly.

you couldn't stop yourself from smiling, really. your face immediately heated up as it turns slightly red, just like him. maybe you two are moving really slow like your friends are saying, but you couldn't care less - you love jongho for whoever he is and you knew he wants to take things slow, even if it means that you two haven't had your first kiss yet even after dating for 3 months, you would wait for him to come out of his little shell.

jongho rubs your shoulder but he nearly jumps for knowing how cold your skin is. really? have you been shivering from the cold all this time? was he that ignorant to not notice? he quickly looks down at you, eyebrows creased as a pout forms on his lips.

you look up to him in curiosity. "yes jong?"

"why didn't you tell me you're cold?" he asks as he purses his lips, trying his best to keep you warm.

"what would you do if i told you, then?"

"i-"

oh, he didn't have a jacket himself. he was wearing a sweater alone, no undershirt or anything while you wore a black t-shirt.

embarrassed, he looks away. "i-i-i can hug y-you tighter." the poor boy stutters as his 'cool-boyfriend' aura was completely thrown down the drain.

"dumbass." you say, causing him to look at you. when he sees that you have a playful frown on your lips, he sighs in relief that you're not actually mad. you let out a laugh as you lay your head on his shoulder, gazing at the sunset in front of you.

he looks at it too while holding you close to him, he could feel his heart beat faster than normal. the two of you stopped and were about to sit on a bench, until he stops you, telling that you don't have to since you feel cold anyways, you two can just walk to his condo unit within no time.

"i love you."

the words came out of your mouth mindlessly. when your realise, you widen your eyes, releasing yourself from his grasp. "i mean-"

"i love you too."

you froze. not from the cold, but from his words.

honestly speaking, this was the first time you two exchanged i love yous. you've always told him you loved him in a lighthearted manner, and he'll smile - but he never answered back. so how did you two even started dating if everything is happening as if its your first day as a couple?

it was your little sister's wish to see her sibling and their crush, her favourite uncle to date - they would look so good together! they were friends anyway, why shouldn't they date?

you know that a simple request from a kid shouldn't exactly be the reason why you should date someone, but your sister is sick. very sick, it almost seemed like her death wish to see you and jongho together.

well, it gladly wasn't. your sister is getting better, and she loves to say that it's because you two granted her wish, which never fails to put smiles on everyone's face.

you two could've easily just pretend to date in front of your sister's eyes, but jongho isn't that kind of asshole to fake date someone who he knew has a crush on him. he knows you aren't hard to love, and he knew he would fall for you sooner or later anyways.

it's just that it's his first time to date someone who's incredibly patient with him. from all the people he's dated over the years, you were the only one who had no problem in taking things slow, appriciate every small gestures he makes and not make him feel like it's a task to always take you out on a date, scared that you might hate him for it - no.

he falls in and out of love quickly, his longest relationship was 5 months. it's not that he's a playboy - it's that his significant other barely feels his love for them. they always complain about him not being affectionate, almost as if they were a stranger to his eyes - but jongho is just really shy, he's too shy to make moves, afraid that he might startle them.

you look at him in the eyes, checking if you heard him right. "i'm serious! what do you take me for?" he had an offended look on his face mixed with silliness, you chuckle.

"it's just that- i didn't expect i would actually hear that from you."

his gaze softens, a pang of guilt hits his heart. so you felt unloved too, huh? was he that distant? maybe he should've tried harder, you're amazing to him after all.

collecting all the courage he has stored in his body, he leans towards your face. you stop in your tracks. is he gonna kiss you? you could feel your heart race against your cheast, it's finally happening!!

he doesn't.

he almost falls backwards as he steps back, gulping. "ah, that's embarrassing." he scratches his nape. he decides that he didn't wanna leave you hanging, so he pulls your arm with him as he starts running towards the building where he lives.

you didn't question his actions and let yourself be taken to wherever (well, you didn't know.) he's going, having no idea of what he wants to do.

not gonna lie, you were quite disappointed that he didn't kiss you earlier.

he swiftly opens the door through his unit after typing out the password and ushers you in, following you closely behind. he turns on a few lights, enough to lit the dim place.

he goes straight to his bedroom. "you can sit on the couch!" he tells you, then coming back with a blanket on his hands. he tosses it to you and it lands on your face, he quickly apologises. "o-oh no i'm sorry!"

"it's okay, don't worry!"

he didn't argue and merely ran towards the kitchen. you smile, well at least he thought of keeping you warm first. you wrap the blanket around your body, the sweet smell of jongho fills your nose.

the blanket was a little cold, but that's even better. the second best thing to a cold pillow is a cold blanket, even if you were freezing already. you accompany yourself with your phone, skimming through apps, trying to find something interesting. when you didn't, you huff and looked over his form, who's busy doing whatever.

you shamelessly turn his tv on and chose a random movie for you two to watch.

jongho comes back after a few minutes with two mugs in his hands. he places them on the mini table in front of you and plops beside you, arm wrapping to your shoulder.

you quickly shared the blanket with him, in which he gratefully accepts - he hugs you under. you didn't question it although you could feel your heart explode and just snuggled closer to him, he rests his head on top of yours.

he starts playing with your hair softly as his eyes glances at the tv. he's unfamiliar with the movie, but is willing to watch it if you picked it, of course.

an hour had passed while the movie played, both of you were cuddling in the couch. may i say for the first time as well. jongho's body was really warm, you can almost fall asleep if it wasn't to the interesting movie the two of you has grown attentive to.

until a hot kissing scene came, both of you looked away.

jongho awkwardly takes a sip of the drink from his mug as he avoid both the tv and your eyes - you following too, doing the same thing.

"uh um do you want chocolates?"

"s-sure."

he takes it as the que to sprint away.

he almost trips on his own foot near the counter, barely reaching the fridge on a solid form. he swiftly takes three bars of snickers and comes back beside you, hesitantly sitting back.

"here." he hands you one after he unwraps it.

so... where is this going? you don't know how to break the awkwardness, and the kissing scene is getting pretty long. if only you warent ignorant to the fact that the movie has rated scenes, maybe you wouldn't have put jongho and of course, yourself in an awkward position.

you take it from his hand, take a bite, then awkwardly smile. "i-i'll go home now, it's getting pretty late."

7 pm, really? you mentally curse yourself, you're about to waste an opportunity to get closer with YOUR boyfriend.

he bites his bottom lip, thinking if he should let you go or not. "i'll take you home." he decides, already standing up but you were quicker to do so. you pushed him to sit back down and run towards the door. "see you tomorrow!" you yell before closing the door behind you.

no, you didn't wanna go home.

jongho was left confused, only to grow flustered again when his eyes catched the scene playing on the screen. he turns it off with shaky eyes before burying his face into the blanket you were in seconds ago.

he stands back up, yes he's not about to let you go home by yourself. at least he'll follow you, just in case. but when he opens the door, your face greeted his, causing him to jump a little.

"h-hi."

you two stood there, staring at each other.

"so..."

jongho trails off, standing at the door way. you take a deep breath, look around, then push him back again. this time, more gently as you followed along. you hold on his shoulders and go on your tippy toes to peck his lips, the snicker bar still in your right hand.

you go back to your heels on the ground. you were expecting jongho to be left wide eyed so you were planning to run away again, but to your surprise, he wasn't.

instead, he pulls you for another kiss, a longer one. well, YOU were the one who wides their eyes. however you didn't waste any time to kiss back and close your eyes, your arms found their way to his neck, he cups your face gently.

before you knew it, you were in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist as his hands holds your body. he puts you down on the counter, not breaking the kiss. the soft light coming from above your heads made things cozier along with the quietness of the place.

he puts his hands beside you to support himself while yours were still hanging around his neck as you continue to kiss him, your lips moved in sync. the fact that he could definitely taste the chocolate in your lips was worrying you, but jongho showed no reaction to it.

your body heats up as the wave of happiness to finally be able to kiss him shoots through your body, you couldn't belive it. if you were dreaming, you're hoping that no one would wake you up any time soon.

you were just freezing an hour ago, but when you got close to jongho? suddenly everything is warm. from your body temperature, to your face, to your heart.

he breaks the kiss, looking at you with sincerity in his eyes. there was nothing but love, and you're happy he feels the same way as you. he rests his forehead against yours, breathing a bit heavily, catching his breath along with you.

it didn't take long for him to lean for another kiss, though. you immediately kiss him back as you run your fingers through his soft, silky, black hair. he eventually holds your back, rubbing circles with his palm to keep you calm.

you moved to leave kisses all over his face and he bops your nose, showing you a cute smile.

you're so in love with him, it's scary.

"expect this more often." he says before kissing you again. the kiss he's giving you is deep and passionate, something you never really thought of receiving, but you're more than euphoric to experience it with him.

and for that night, you didn't end up going home untill the next day.

[blissfulparker]

I Really Like You Too→Peter.p

Parings→peter Parker x avenger!reader

Summary→when you have a rough night on patrol, you decide to end it at peters house. Expect when you just think peter is going to help you get cleaned up, things turn into more.

Warnings→fluff, slight angst I guess?

A/n→this moodboard could be used for something more and I am thinking about that. But anyway this is for @icyhollands thank you for donating to help with the blm movement! I hope you enjoy💗💗

The crisp new york breeze caressed your cheek as you took off your mask. The wind making the tip of your nose slightly colder and goosebumps rise on your skin.

You sat on Peter's fire escape, not wanting to face the rest of the avengers quite yet. having them question the swollen ankle and all the cuts on your body. Peter sits at his desk, you laugh a little as he would normally do homework on a friday night but instead he has assembled some legos you heard him and Ned talking about earlier this week.

You always had a small crush on Peter, ever since he first came into the tower as tony's new project you knew there was something special. Maybe it was how smart he was, the way he looked out for you on missions, or maybe it was how awkward he was around you at first. How his cheeks would go so red when almost any woman avenger touched him. He was sweet, smart, respectful, a bit nerdy but everything you could ask for.

You softly knock on his window causing him to jump but take out a headphone to pay attention to you. He is quick to get up and unlock the window for you to come in. helping you softly as you step in, one hand around your waist and the other holding your hand.

“W-What happened? Are you alright?” he asked, trying to keep his eyes off of the skintight suit. His hand reaches up to touch the bruised skin just under your cheek.

“I didnt mean to intrude, im sorry i just cant let them see me like this just yet. You know how bucky gets i mean hes basically my—“ he cuts you off by bringing you over to his bathroom. You two quietly leave the room and he sits you on his bathroom counter. His whole first aid kit was made by May when she found this whole second life out about him. He now uses it mostly for you since when he gets hurt he stops by your place to get treated.

“T-this might sting a little.” he comes down on his knees and brings the ointment to your leg. You tense up at the feeling, but also the sight of seeing him on his knees for you makes you slightly weak.

You two sit in comfortable silence as he tends to your wounds, his hand wrapped around your leg as he tends to the swollen ankle.

“Hows Ned?” you ask trying to make light conversation while also trying not to wake his aunt. Even though you hung out with the friend group nearly daily, you didnt attend midtown. Tony didn't want any chances of you being seen and exposed so he kept you homeschooled at the tower.

“He's good, we were going to hang out tonight but he got stuck babysitting.” Peter answers honestly. You smile softly before the next question makes you lose it quickly.

“How's MJ?” you ask with more of a wander in your voice. You didn't hate MJ, no. You liked her alot, she was smart and you two had alot in common but she was gorgeous, slightly sadistic but absolutely gorgeous.

“Good as well. Friday night and she got a new book over the week so dont expect to hear from her anytime soon.” peter chuckles a little and you do too. He gets up from the floor, washing his hands and then proceeds to move to the smaller cuts on your arms and face.

“Do you ever think about MJ...more than just a friend?” you ask him and he stops. His mouth slightly opened and you can practically hear his heartbeat racing. Your body sinks deeper into the counter and you grow cold, you wished you didn't ask the question anymore.

“D-did MJ set you up to this?” he swallows hard and you shake your head.

“N-no. it just...as a friend you can tell me about your crushes pete.” you try and play it off cool but he does keep eye contact as he tends the forehead wound.

“She's a friend. Nothing more.” it's like what you asked almost offended him. His jaw clenched as he moved faster to patch you up. You reach to hold his arm for comfort but he moves it back as a sign for you not to hold him.

“I-i'm sorry did i offend you or something?” your voice is confused and broken. His hands are being washed once again. Your blood washes down the drain as he cleans himself.

He does say anything again. You hop down from the counter and follow him into his room again. The hall dark and May’s room light is shut off, shes sound asleep and you would hate to wake her.

Peter digs through his drawer and holds out sweatpants and an old shirt for you to sleep in. he hands them to you for you to change and you now feel his tension and dont even want to go to the bathroom to change. You drop the suit right in front of him. He stares as you put on the shirt and pants. His face so red and his mouth wide as youve never been so bold to do that.

“Thank you, peter.” you tell him and right before you turn around he grabs your arm.

“Can i tell you something? Promise it wont change us.” his eyes scan your face. Your lips chapped but still look so soft and kissable.

“Anything.” you go soft again and he takes a deep breath. His hands are sweaty and his eyes close before he opens them again and speaks.

“I don't like MJ because i like you.” his voice in a whisper but you can still hear. Your eyes go wide and your body goes numb.

“Peter i-” you start and he shakes his head.

“Dont. i dont need to hear it. I've been rejected by girls almost my whole life and i-” what happens next is your move that takes him by surprise. Your hands rest on his face, his cheeks soft and warm, eyes careful as they look into yours. A soft kiss on his lips. One that doesn't even last five seconds on his lips as you are quick and nervous.

You both stare at each other, so close and both wanting to say something but nothing comes out.

His hands come to your face as well, grazing the cheeks and feeling how soft the skin is. He leans in for the second kiss, kissing so lightly and longer than before. His lips move on yours with more confidence and your hands go to his waist pulling him into you.

Right before anything else can happen, a soft knock on the door causes both of you to tense up.

“Peter?” Aunt May's soft, tired voice comes through the door. “Are you still awake? I thought i heard something.” she asks and Peter grows red again.

“Uh, yeah! Just getting into bed now!” he tells her in a more worried voice. Fearing that she’ll open up the door and see the two of you.

You let out a soft laugh as you rest your forehead on Peter's shoulder. Kissing the clothed area before lifting your head back up.

“Thank you, for everything.” you smile softly and he nods. He wants to kiss you one more time but he doesn't want to screw up what has just started.

“You should probably get some sleep.” he breathes out and you nod. He sets the bed up for you and as hes about to take pillows and throw them on the floor you grab his arm.

“We can make it work for two right?” you press your lips together and he gives a lopsided smile. He falls into the bed with you and pulls you into his side.

This was one of the nights where you came into his room that he would never forget.

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[harcove]

I posted 2,164 times in 2021

270 posts created (12%)

1894 posts reblogged (88%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 7.0 posts.

I added 728 tags in 2021

#jjba - 154 posts

#mine - 145 posts

#jojos bizarre adventure - 99 posts

#jojo's bizarre adventure - 98 posts

#jotaro kujo - 62 posts

#jotaro - 43 posts

#resident evil - 36 posts

#kujo jotaro - 34 posts

#shitpost - 29 posts

#jjba shitpost - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i got 12k points and this clown was spamming thank u at me and liked everyone except me when we died im yall i i wasnt chaired once clown

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

you uh. wouldn't mind an angst request would you haha because I have had this one scenario stuck in my head where leon (probably resi 6 leon) has been drinking a lot more and has been neglecting his s/o and they finally call him out on his shit

anyway ooga booga they fight and decide it's best they give leon his space and take a break and maybe he finds them at a bar he goes to to get wasted to already find them drunk off their ass

Angst is absolutely one of my most favourite things to write and to read like damn I do be out here making myself CRY. So I definitely don't mind angst like hell yeah!

I was gonna end this was a happier note- but uh, I really love angst so I left it semi-open ended but also pretty sad I think. Also not really dialogue-heavy, more like... I write too much detail-heavy :,) Also this isn't edited, I spent days on this cause I was overthinking it and felt it was just not good so oof I'm sorry!

Length: 2k

Request: in the ask

Warnings: angst, drinking, lowkey it's alcoholism on Leon's part, being drunk

Leon x Reader - "I know."

How long had it been since you had held your boyfriend's hand? Since the two of you had really sat together and done something together, fully, completely, involved, and focused on one another. You didn't even remember, which was agonizing to think about.

You had been through so much with Leon. And you knew where his deepest thought lay, but you could never truly know. And it didn't help that over the years the two of you had together, he had started to become more distant. And instead of finding his comfort in your arms, he found it in some glass bottle.

At first, you didn't really protest much, you didn't say much about it. A drink every once in a while couldn't hurt. Yet, it wasn't every once in a while. It was more often than you'd have liked. And he was using it to forget. To focus on anything else but his life and his memories. Your soft words trying to talk to him didn't do much to stop him or dissuade him. He brushed you off more often than not. It tore you up from the inside out that you couldn't help him, that at some point a bottle was his chosen form of comfort over you.

The guilt mixed with sadness, and then with anger. And in the end, those feelings came together and created an explosion between the two of you one night.

Your throat was hoarse as you swallowed as much air as you could. You couldn't exactly remember what the argument stemmed from but you knew it had to be related to him drinking.

"Will you just listen to me?!" You shouted, the words coming out uneven as your throat begged you to stop, "put that shit down Leon, and look at me!"

The man sitting at the aisle in your kitchen put the flask he had down in front of him, but still had his hands on it. He turned his head to look at you, barely even moving at all, and his eyes were looking at you like he was unimpressed or annoyed.

"I'm listening."

You wanted to pull on your hair and scream because he wasn't. He wasn't listening, and he hadn't been, at least not for a while.

"No you aren't, you are not listening to a word I say, you never do!"

He scoffed, turning back to his drink and taking another sip.

"Where am I going on Friday?"

"What?" He looked at you incredulously, completely lost as your voice went from yelling at him to speaking relatively peacefully, but there was no peace in your voice.

"I said, where am I going on Friday, Leon," you repeated with clenched fists, "if you listen to me if you even bother to pay attention to me, you would know the answer. So where am I going on Friday?"

The silence was your answer, as you expected it to be, you just hadn't expected it to be so painful.

"I'm going to visit my family in the town over," your voice was low and tired, and you wanted to cry but you couldn't even find it in you to do that, "I told you that a thousand times Leon I..."

Biting your lip hard, you felt yourself break skin, and the metallic taste of blood invaded your taste buds. You were so angry at him moments before, angry enough you had been yelling. But suddenly you weren't angry anymore. You were just so sad; sad for yourself and sad for him. He wasn't going to listen to you, not right now, that much was clear.

"I've been busy Y/N-" whatever he said was wasted on deaf ears as you drowned them out unintentionally, your eyes trained on the flask he nursed.

For once, you knew you had to let it be. You had to give him space, and give yourself space.

"I'm sleeping in the guest room," you offered lamely after the long silence between the two of you after he had finished whatever he had said. Leon looked up at you, with a look of surprise, and confusion, "we both need space. From each other. I just... Don't stay up drinking all night."

"Y/N-" his words once again fell upon deaf ears, and his fingers just missed your arm as you turned and went upstairs to the room usually used by people like Claire, or Chris, sometimes Sherry.

When morning came, you had gotten up later than usual, Leon was already gone as he usually was early in the morning with his job and everything. Your heart felt heavier as you walked into the empty kitchen and noted the vodka bottle you two had been given as a gift was half empty. Something in you asked if it was all worth it; did it really do so much that he drank more than he should've? Did it take away the feelings of hopelessness, like the one you were currently stuck in?

See the full post

146 notes • Posted 2021-08-27 08:58:46 GMT

#4

Watching SDC and saw this photo of Joseph, Suzi and young Holly and bruh I just wish we could see a better version of it like damn

223 notes • Posted 2021-02-10 05:01:03 GMT

#3

Matching icons for you and a friend :)

243 notes • Posted 2021-03-15 05:15:43 GMT

#2

Leon's dead by daylight voice actor doing an audio clip of him doing Leon's injured noises and then saying "mommy," is something that lives inside my head rent fucking free.

299 notes • Posted 2021-08-28 07:39:33 GMT

#1

See the full post

642 notes • Posted 2021-03-12 05:13:24 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[fanfictionwritingoddity]

OOP OKAY THEN HERE WE GO SBBSBSBS

Yamuraiha: I just love her so much, like omg??? Her character design is absolutely stunning and I just love her bsbsbsb

Sinbad- I can't help but love him lmao

Hakuryuu- OMG I HAD SUCH A BIG CRUSH ON HIM OML. I STILL DO BSBSBSBSB. Emo boy supremacy 🤌 lol

Alibaba- he's such a giant dork I love him

Falan- she was never in the anime and didn't get much time in the manga but I love her she is very pretty 👉👈

Kouen- tbh I lowkey hated him at first but after re-reading the manga I feel for him

Kouha- I just love him, he's great and his weapon is so cool bsbsbsbsb

Sharrkan- Cool sword man I love him sm

Morgiana- She's just such a great character I can't help but love her.

Judar- I hate him but I love him sm he's such a dork

Muu- very cool I like his hair lmal

Aladdin's dad- he's hot /hj

I COULD PROBABLY GO ON ABOUT MORE CHARACTERS BUT I'LL HOLD MYSELF BACK FOR NOW SBBSBSBSBSB

OHHH MY GOSH OKAY OKAY ILL GIVE YOU MY OPINIONS ON YOUR PICKS AND THEN TELL YOU MY FAVORITES!!! (this will not be spoiler free for anyone who hasnt seen it!)

- Yes yes she is so pretty!!! when she lost her adoptive father i felt so bad oh my gosh,,,, she is such an adorable character - OKAY SO HERES THE THIng for some reason i really cant bring myself to like sinbad??? like he’s attractive but hes so sly and willing to use people, and always seems to know whats going on no matter what, and I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT WHAT HE IS THINKING!! and i despise not being in the loop </3 - MY BABY! he broke my heart when he turned his back on morgiana and alibaba to go with judar, pls come back home </3 - Alibaba is so cute i love him - I havent read the manga so i cannot give an opinion on this one yet - hey king hey kouen hmu any time of any day i am always free for you king ahahah HE IS SO HOT!! i love him so very much and he is so swaggy - KOUHA IS SO FUNNY AND COOL he reminds me of a calmer and better alois trancy - I LOVE HIM he is so swaggy - i cannot help but simp for him but i HATE HIM TOO!! he is like an emo tartaglia - muu,,,, my king,,,,,,,, let me braid your hair,,a,,,a,, - ALL IVE SEEN IS THE OLD MAN VERSION CAUSE I HAVENT READ THE MANGA SO I WILL<<< DISREGARD THIS

MY FAVORITES :

- Masrur: OH MY GODSODOODODOANS maybe its because i like gaara from naruto but he is so HOT PLS he would tower over me considering hes almost a foot taller than me and hes so strong and hes so amazing mwah masrur mwah - Ja’far: I LOVE SUGAWARA SO I LOVE JA’FAR both white haired sweet characters with a hidden dark side aoaoaooa - Titus: MY BABY BOY PLS hes so sweet and kind and i love him and he deserves the world  - Kouen: i explained above BUT IM GONNA DO IT AGAIN AWOOOOOGA he is so very hot <33333 my king <3333 My Love <333 - Muu: king of the hottest djinn equip (thus far) - Hakuei Ren: wo<333man<333 no but she is so cool and she leads an ARMY like what more could i ask for I THINK THATS IT PLS TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS

[geminitarotmagick]

Hey im the guy of the fear related to jobs..

Thank you so much for the reading it really resonated. I'm gonna try and do shadow work because to be honest, it really started when I was 18 I think. Till then I was not really afraid. I remember when I was younger I was very confident and I didn't really care, but after working with a family member who told me that I am excellent at my job and after 1 year fired me without telling me that I'm fired, simply telling me that my job was "nothing but an experience" really put me on depression after I already had depression and anxiety. Because I was excellent according to him, and he was the boss, so I trusted his opinion, however, it turns out that he just used my imagination and productivity because I tend to put a lot of effort and creativity when I do something, and since he is my uncle I wanted him to be impressed and happy with my job. But failed.

And this time I started facing my insecurities and I felt bad. I have a crooked tooth and people say that it looks cute to me, however I can see the stares when I talk or smile, and it makes me uncomfortable, and this is one of the reasons I don't like working, because I like talking, I like communicating, I like connecting, but I can't do it when I can't open my mouth out of insecurity and awkwardness. I am an extroverted person, but my insecurities make me appear as problematic or too introverted that doesn't like hanging out, however, I'm far from that, I like connections. But My face turns red our of anxiety when people stare at my tooth, it's just a tooth, one tooth, however I can't help it but feel ugly, insecure and not able to express myself and here it's not affordable for me to fix it yet. I try to convince myself that I can manifest powerfully in order to manifest a solution for my smile. It's a chaotic situation behind this and I'm very disappointed at myself for shaking to go to work. Rn I have to find a job for the summer, and the thought of doing a mistake, panic attack or anything related to uncomfortable makes me feel panicked af. I can see my mom looking at me feeling bad for the sacrifices she have done for the family since she is a single mother, but I can't tell her that I'm afraid, even though she lowkey senses that. I have to take care of her now, and I can't because of trauma I guess, I hate this situation. I am not that person. Why am I that person? Meh

Maybe it's because I grew up feeling unrecognized and tough, because they all expected me to be the hero rich kid who will save the family, but now I am exactly the opposite, a failure. However, I believe that something good will happen, because even when I complain, in the end I believe that nothing goes wrong, but I can't do it anymore. I want to be self employed but to be self employed I need one job to save money, and this step causes me the most stress. I am responsible and trustworthy at work, so I hope I will get through this till the job will start..

Thank you so much again 👑

One thing I'd like to note here as well is that Archangel Raphael's message to you was all about showing yourself unconditional love as you heal. This stems and should be directed to EVERY part of yourself, because it's all connected. Even if you can find the utmost confidence in your work abilities and the ability to work as a team, your insecurities about communicating and people staring at you and your tooth will still linger. All that anxiety will be looking for a place to go, and it'll grab hold onto your physical insecurities and intensify those. It's a process, and definitely one that might feel slow and frustrating, but make sure to extend that love to your physical appearance too. I know that can be a very hard thing to do, but like you said, you're a very creative soul with a lot of wonderful ideas to share with the world. If the people around you can't value your ideas because they don't like the vessel that it's coming out of, then that's completely on them, and has nothing to do with you. Don't allow yourself to be convinced otherwise.

I'm also getting a LOT of pressure that you've put on yourself, and this is where his message of grounding is so important. You can't grow through these things if you're allowing so much weight to be placed on your back. You need to sit in stillness and quiet your mind, and figure out what it is that you really want? This isn't to say that providing for your mom and your family isn't important, but what is it that you want to accomplish? What are YOUR goals? What are YOUR aspirations? What are YOUR desires? it sounds like you're living for them and their goals and dreams, and if that's the case, then you'll never truly feel fulfilled. Allow yourself to discover what it is that you want and what will make you happy, and allow these things to take root in you. Once you can do that, then you won't be pulled in so many different directions. The Knight of Swords reversed is a card of scattered energy, and with so much pressure on you, you have no choice but to be in that scattered place. You need to allow yourself to gain the courage to live for yourself, not others, and only then will it be easier to let go of that anxiety, cuz right now, you're carrying other people's energy, and that is not fair to you.

Forgive yourself for any past mistakes that you might feel that you have made when it comes to work, forgive your uncle for the situation that happened with him, and forgive everyone else for putting these burdens on you.

[arashinohi]

tired of everything. sunday left me feeling kind of weird. sofia and i went over to anastasia's to wish her happy bday and it was nice and all albeit a bit awkward idk why. after we left sofia came with me cause she was going to meet her bf and idk it was kinda weird like suddenly she looked like all she was thinking of was him (which probably is true) and we couldn't keep a normal conversation for some reason. she looked kinda distant. anyway she met up with him while i went home and after a while kourou sent a message at the groupchat that we should go out all together sometime. i mean we knew that was gonna happen since sofia told us so but i didn't expect it to happen so soon! so i was kind of panicking, anastasia wasn't answering and sofia sent me a plain "apanta" which made me sad for some reason. so of course today i felt the obligation to tell eva and niki about that and yet again i was the one who had to say everything. i mean anastasia could also say it but idk i think it's better that she didn't since her messages can sometimes cause misunderstandings. sofia tho? sofia didn't say anything and she is involved in this more than i am. i wasn't even sure if i could bring up everything that happened between her and kour because i didn't know if she wanted me to say it. she just stayed quiet the whole time which made me kinda angry. then both her and anastasia were like "yeah im only going bc they said they had some explaining to do" or "nah im tired of them i don't even wanna go that much, why don't they decide if they wanna hang out with us or not in the end". i was like ???. hello??? weren't we together when you said that you didn't really mind? that you lowkey liked that they were the ones asking us first to hang out? and i bet you sofia do want to go since your bf is a part of the group. so why are all of you saying stuff like that? it doesn't make sense too. we could easily deny them and just cut them off like that. us hanging out with them again mostly depends on how we feel, since they invited us. i thought i should be honest and told the girls that yea i dont really mind i just wanna see what they're up to and idk how it's gonna go from there. afterall we had a lot of fun last year but this year their behaviour was a bit questionable. these situations are really really awkward and i hate having to deal with them but what can i do? im trying to be honest for once and not appeal to them but now i, i don't know. it's just very weird. and i hate that i just want to take my mind off of these petty little things, they upset me and tire me out so much. i

[floralbfs]

WIP Ask Game!

thank u anon!!!!

1: Summarize your WIP in 10 words or less.

orphan gains powers, gets adopted by alien, saves the world.

2: Post a line from your WIP with no context.

'There's a whoosh of air, and Leo suddenly hears a voice he never thought he'd ever be able to hear again.'

3: Does your WIP have a title? If so, explain its significance. If not, what are you calling it for now?

Okay so I have been calling it the Youtuber Superhero AU (because it started as a fandom au but then i made it an original!!) but I thought maybe it could be "Thicker than Water", since my MC, Leo, is an orphan and he lives alone for most of his life (most of his life lmao at least until canon point? read also: around 9-11 years when in canon he's like 19?) in a remote, lowkey magical place/dimension?, but ultimately he comes back to his hometown and creates a family for himself!!!! i won't give spoilers but, since i already said this, part of his found family is his adoptive dad, an alien who is also a superhero!! If not TtW, I would call it maybe,,,,, Moonstone???? at least the first book!!! (ooh, maybe TtW can be the series name and Moonstone the first book's name?) because Leo kind of gets his powers through a moon stone????? it's not actually moon stone; it was a strange rock he found in the magical dimension that seeked out a champion for the god Huitzilopochtli??? and the closest word Leo could get for it was Moonstone, because of its uhhhhh singular qualities!

4: Describe the setting of your WIP.

OKAY, this is a fun one!!! Leo's hometown is named Star Nova, idk why it just seemed cool, and it is a futuristic city!!! They don't follow capitalism Because I Said So, and they're really into, like, environmental stuff!!! So you'd see SO much flora all over the city kshdsjfh like those???? idk what they're called but like the towns overridden with plants? but controlled!!! There's a tiny percentage of the population (tho I still haven't decided if this is worldwide?? I have a way to make it worldwide but idk) who have superpowers, either due to "individual" factors (e.g Leo's powers are bc of the moonstone, and Matthew(his dad)'s powers are due to him being an alien!) or were affected by a weird experiment an Evil Corporation™ were doing; ECtm was trying out an illegal experiment that could alter living beings' genetics to their will, but it went wrong and their substance exploded and went airborne. Those who were working on it knew about its risks and toxicity, ergo they were wearing a special suit and weren't affected, but the gas contaminated and ??mixed?? with the air and spread to the nearest city, Star Nova (the unofficial capital of the Joint Pacific Nations) and affected a Whole Lot Of People!!! this all happened a while before canon, and the corporation got away with it bc they were filthy rich basically. Anyway, a lot of the people who were affected to the "virus" reacted negatively and died, some were uhhh """immune"""???, and a few Seemed to be immune but had actually had a successful celular-level bonding with the substance! It didn't do anything to them, but their children/grandchildren were born with physical or mental anomalies, also known as super powers (gasps)!!!! BUT!!! a lot of the story happens in the magical city of Coatl (it means serpent!), located within a pocket dimension somewhere inside the Mexican southern forest, where Leo finds himself when he's four years old, recently orphaned, guided by a magical ....bird....being....? he lives there for around eleven years, and he's granted Huitzilopochtli's Champion's power once he's like. Not A Baby lmao. Coatl is.... kind of like,,,,, an Olympus, I guess? Only those with like the destiny to find it know where it is, and they can lead other people there if it's for good causes! It's almost like a sentient city, and the Aztec gods kinda. chilled there???? my theory is that a lot of religious mythologies exist, at least in this universe, and they all co-exist on earth, or pocket dimensions inside of it!!! anyway, Leo lived there and was basically raised by gods???? and an AI???? bc i love AIs???? and uhhhh i think that got away from me ajdhsjdhsj does all of this even count as setting??? am i missing anything????

5: Search for the word “knife” in your WIP. If you find it, paste the line and explain the context.

no knives sadly :( i guess i haven't reached Those Scenes yet???? tho there should be one in the first chapter….. my wip document is just kind of very messy ajdhsjdjsjdh i might just have to make a new document????

6: Search for the word “dream” in your WIP. If you find it, paste the line and explain the context.

???????????? why am i not using any words?????????? sorry :/

7: What are you most proud of?

probably the worldbuilding and characters (at least those with superpowers? maybe i should say superpowers period)!!!!! they're very complex and thought-out????? and i THINK they're original!!!!! so!!!!! ＼(￣▽￣)／

8: What is your biggest challenge?

oooooof,,,,,,,, probably..... getting an actual plot lmao????? like i have an overall view of my would-be first and second books, but i don't know if they actually have enough to them to be written as they are?????? like… idk if the conflict is really like??? worthy to be a Main Conflict™????

9: How would you describe your writing style?

oooooooh uhhhhh maybe….. flowery prose???? i'm a poet at heart, so if i don't use loads of metaphors and language uhhhh idk their name in english but language variators??? i will literally die. but seriously nsjdhsjdhsjfh nothing too serious!!!! most of my “”””angst”””” scenes are….. not so sad, i think skfjsjfj

10: How would you describe your WIP’s narrative style? (1st person, 3rd person, multiple POVs, single POV, alternating chapters, etc.)

oh!!!! well, i think it'd be multiple povs, alternating chapters, third person???? i'm still not sure whether to use 1st or if i already have??? p sure that's a different wip i'm thinking about tho

11: Which character do you have the most in common with?

uhhhhhhhhhhhh seeing how underdeveloped she is right now??? probably Persephone???? bc she's genderfluid skfjsjfjdjfh or uhhhh Scott??? bc i too love leo with my heart and would die for him and stay with him in the afterlife. (hypothetically, of course….)

12: Which character do you have the least in common with?

Maeve, probably!!!! she's, uh…. Something.

13: Your characters are stranded on a deserted island. What happens?

They Are All A Mess. akfhajfjajfj Matthew would probably become the leader and like. establish order and shit???? but he's also the hugest nerd so he'd just give the leader role to someone else (probably seph staine?) and goes exploring and cataloging shit skfhsjfhdjf Leo is probably the most resourceful one of the bunch, so he would immediately like. start planning for huts and food and stuff???? also idk if they would have their powers in this situation cause it'd be too easy to get them all out of there????? but let's just say they do but the island is inescapable by flight?? he can talk to animals, so he could communicate with the local fauna and like form alliances???? Seph is a good leader, so he'd probably like….. keep everything in check???? and Leo's friends are all good and resourceful, so they'd make a good team!!!! tldr they basically create order immediately and do their best to not struggle??? after a few days/weeks, some of them start to like. break down? but the adults are like. wise and shit??? and i'm pretty sure at least one of them is like a licensed therapist??? so they help each other out uwu

14: Have you chosen birthdays for any of your characters? If so, when are they?

oh!!!! only for a few!!!! Leo and Maeve's birthday is on March 25, Scott's birthday is on August 27, Matthew doesn't really have a birthday??? because time is different in his planet????, Percy and Persephone's birthday is somewhere in November, and uhhhh im p sure that's all i got akfjsjfjsj i suck at birth dates

15: Do you know your characters’ MBTI personalities?

GOD, no. maybe i should do their tests???👀

16: What would your characters be for Halloween?

Leo… doesn't believe in/care for Halloween, as he didn't grow up around it, but it's totally Scott's jam!!! they are dirt poor in a good first half of the book, though, so they can't really dress up :( they met in the library, and after (spoiler alert!!!) scotty's death, Leo feels it appropriate to dress up as Scott's fave characters every year. Percy and Persephone are (very weak) shapeshifters, so their costumes ROCK!!!!! they always do matching costumes, so they get cliché pair costumes!! Matthew….. uh. he is… way too old for that. he was literally alive before Halloween was even a thing, so it's not really his thing. Leah just……. does her own thing??? she can see ghosts, so she sometimes does like historical costumes and stuff with their help!!! and Ben…. oof tbh that depends on what his fave song/album/whatev is at the moment??? he kinda creates like a story/aesthetic for them and dresses up that way!!!!

17: Does your WIP have any themes or motifs?

uhhhh found family, definitely!!!! i really can't think of any bc i'm an idiot, but uhhhh intelligence??? if that's a thing??? like,,, they're all powerful and shit but it's also like. brains over brawns????

18: What’s easier, dialogue or description?

i think description!!!! neither of them are… hard??? but!!! description is like…… where i can go hog wild akfjskfjsjfb

19: Post a picture or gif that describes your WIP.

20: Post a brief excerpt.

Leo @Leoberry

You asked, I answered. New Q&A video is now up!

[3k retweets, 10k likes, 9k replies] 20 min. ago

[My First Q&A- video transcription excerpt]

[Leo Berry, a nineteen-year-old brunette guy with green eyes, wearing a red shirt with a lightning symbol on it that's loose on his muscular form, waves at the camera and smiles widely, dimples showing up on his cheeks.]

Leo: Hey, guys. You've been asking me to do a Q&A for a while, and the day has finally arrived! I told you to ask me questions on Twitter with the hashtag #AskBerry, and I've picked a few!

[Leo smiles brightly and lifts up his cellphone.]

Leo: First off, here's one by @razzberry- nice username, by the way-: “what's your cat's name? Do you have more than one?”

[The video shifts, and there's suddenly two cats sitting on Leo's arms: a large, orange cat quickly falling asleep on his shoulder, and a black kitten hugged in his arms.]

Leo: I do! This little fella-

[He gasps as the kitten in his arms struggles to get free and runs off-camera.]

Leo: Don't leave me! Okay, that little fella is Onyx, and, as you can see, he doesn't like me very much. Anyway, this little gal asleep over here…

[He points toward a small orange cat sleeping on his shoulder.]

Leo: ...is Tigress! She's my little baby. You've probably seen her around a lot on my vlogs, since she really likes to hang out on my bed.

Leo: Next! @Honeybats asked: ‘“is it true your dad is Jade?”

[Leo smiles and, after a few seconds of trying to school his features, bursts out laughing.]

Leo: You mean to ask whether my dad is Matlal Jade, the greatest superhero of our era?

Leo: ...Well, yeah! My dad- [more laughs] my dad is totally my Jade. His name is Matthew, and I keep asking him to fly me to school. He says it's not funny!

[He sobers up for a second.]

Leo: Jokes aside, he adopted me a few years ago and he'll always be a superhero in my eyes. I was in a really dark place when he found me, and I can't thank him enough for all that he's done for me.

[Leo looks away for a second and loses his smile. The video cuts and skips again, and Leo appears once again, this time sporting an easy smile and a blue shirt, this one tighter around his shoulders.]

Leo: things got a bit too deep! This one was sent by @shazhangs: “are you dating anyone at the moment?”

[Leo laughs.]

Leo: God, no. I mean, I'm not really a people person, you know? And I’ve been so focused on work, vlogging, and, uh, extracurriculars, that I really haven't had any time to socialise.

[Leo laughs again.]

Leo: This one comes from @perspartone: will you collab with any other youtubers anytime soon?

Leo: Yeah, sure! I don't think I have done any videos with other people in the past, so it'd be a fun thing to do! I just have to find a friend first.

[Leo laughs loudly.]

[End of excerpt. For viewing of the video, refer to Leo Berry on Youtube, and find the full transcription here at DailyBerries in a few hours.]