#yesterday and today were as bad as the first day

[allthingsfangirl101]

Home For Christmas – Glen Powell

I walked through the beautifully decorated stores for Christmas, but I didn't feel it. Usually, I love this time of year. This year was different. About six months ago, Glen and I decided to move in together. Glen had to go to Australia just after Halloween to film a new Netflix movie. He wasn't able to come home for Thanksgiving, but he had promised me that they would be done before Christmas.

He called me three days ago saying that they were behind filming and now he wasn't even sure they'd be done by New Year's. Ever since the phone call, this season has been miserable.

I got a few last-minute things for my friends and Glen's parents. After shopping, I went home and started wrapping. I put them under the tree and sat on the couch.

I numbly grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. My heart sank when a cute Hallmark Christmas lovey-dovey movie came on. I used to love these. Christmas was different when the man you loved wasn't around to celebrate it with you.

I gave my parents a Caribbean Cruise for Christmas and they left yesterday. Today was the first day this season that I was truly alone. I jumped out of my pity party when my phone started to ring. My heart jumped out of my stomach and into my throat when I looked at the caller ID on my phone.

"Glen?"

"Hey, baby," he chuckled.

"Hi," I said, my voice breaking.

"Everything okay?" He asked gently.

"Yeah," I said, not at all convincingly. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, gorgeous," he sighed. "You have Angela's party tomorrow night, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," I shrugged, leaning back into the cushions. "I don't really want to but it's better than sitting at home on Christmas Eve, all by myself."

"I'm glad you're going," Glen said, sounding strange. "I feel bad that I'm not going with you."

"I wish you were," I mumbled.

"We will celebrate when I get home," he said. "I promise, baby. We will have our first Christmas together."

"I know," I sighed. I cleared my throat before deciding to change the subject. "How's filming?"

Glen and I spent almost two hours on the phone talking. After saying a long goodbye filled with lots of promises of making it up to me, I got ready for bed and went to sleep alone.

* * * * * *

"You're coming tonight, right?"

I held my breath as I debated. To be honest, I didn't want to go to a party with all my friends and spend the night acting like I wasn't miserable.

"I don't know," I stuttered.

"Sweetie," she sighed. "I know it sucks that Glen is stuck in Australia, but he wouldn't want you moping around at home. Have you gone out and done anything Christmassy?"

"I bought his mom an adorable sweater and his dad a new electric drill," I shrugged. I heard her let out a deep sigh.

"Please come tonight," she practically begged. "It'll be a good distraction from Glen being at work. Please? We'll get super drunk and you can send him pictures that will put you on the Naughty List."

After a lot of pestering from Angela and loving pushing from Glen's mom, I decided to go tonight. I changed into my Christmas dress and took time doing my makeup and curling my hair. I walked into Angela's house, instantly hit with Christmas music, voices, and the smell of fresh gingerbread.

"You're here!" She squealed as she ran over to me. I laughed as she wrapped her arms around me. "I am so happy you're here!"

"I can tell considering the fact that I can't breathe."

"Sorry," she giggled as she let me go. "I just. . . I wasn't sure you'd come since Glen is in Australia."

"I'm fine," I brushed off. "Sure, I miss him like crazy. And I can barely sleep. And I rarely feel like eating. And I don't even feel like celebrating without him."

"Which is why you're here," she said, grabbing my hand. "And which is why we are getting you a drink. Lots of drinks."

I rolled my eyes as she dragged me into the kitchen. As hard as I tried to enjoy myself, I couldn't. I just kept picturing my empty apartment and Glen halfway across the world.

Everywhere I looked, I saw couples dancing, laughing, or kissing under the mistletoe. When the pain got too much, I left. I walked into our apartment, not bothering to turn on the lights. I hung up my keys, kicked off my shoes, and started to take off my jacket.

"If you're gonna start undressing, at least let me catch up."

I gasped when the lights flicked on to reveal Glen standing by the Christmas tree.

"Glen!"

He laughed as I ran over to him. He instantly caught me when I jumped into his arms. I grabbed his face and pressed my lips to his. Our lips moved in sync as he held me tightly. As we slowly broke the kiss, Glen gently put me down.

"You're home," I said, my voice breaking as I looked at him through happy tears. "I can't believe you're home."

"I hoped on a plane as early as I could," he explained as he pulled me into his chest. "I couldn't stand the idea of you being all alone on Christmas."

"I love you, Glen."

"I love you, too, Y/N."

He was about to say something else, but I grabbed his face again and pulled him toward me. Glen chuckled as he kissed me back. Our lips moved roughly in sync as we collapsed onto the couch. Once we were sitting, I moved so I was straddling his hips.

"I missed you so much," I moaned between kisses.

"I missed you too, baby."

I broke the kiss, both of us breathing heavily. "Show me," I whispered, leaning my forehead against his. I started to get off his lap, but he grabbed my waist, pulling me back.

"Before we do that," he said, his voice dropping. "There's something I want to give you."

"Christmas is tomorrow," I giggled as I slid my hands up his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck. "The only thing I want right now is you."

"And I want you," he smirked. "But, believe me, you're not going to want to wait for this present."

He stood up with me in his arms. He walked over to the Christmas tree and gently put me down. He paused as he took a step back. My breath got caught in my throat as he knelt down on one knee. "Y/N, you are the love of my life. Nothing I do has meaning if you're not there with me. So, will you be with me for the rest of my career and my life? Y/N, will you marry me?"

"Yes," I said, my voice breaking. Glen smiled up at me as he slipped the ring on my finger. He tossed the ring box onto the couch before standing up and pulling me into his chest. He leaned down and pressed a passionate kiss to my lips.

"Merry Christmas, baby," he whispered.

"Merry Christmas, Glen."

[fandoms-in-law]

Robin had been hanging around all morning, watching as Steve wrote out his final cards for the kids and added toys into the music tin with them. “So is this the last day they’re getting treats from you? Or have you got some Christmas gifts on top of everything else you’ve given them this month?” She asked.

“This is the last thing I’m giving them. Christmas day is for family, anyway. Not like they’re going to want to come see me tomorrow.” He muttered, glancing over just in time to see her face scrunch a bit like she disagreed with that statement.

“And that’s why you’re set up as if there’s a party expected?” She pointed at the snacks that had been put out just before Steve filled the music box.

He barely looked at them. “You’ve seen those shitheads, right? They act like any trip to my house is a party.”

She tilted her head in a half nod, accepting the reasoning just as they heard a vehicle pull up outside. “And I bet that’s them having badgered Eddie to bring them all.”

“Nope, Erica has a friends Christmas party today. I think Lucas will be taking hers.” Steve corrected, sealing the music box and leaving it on a side table as he went to open the door.

“The Nerd said we’re celebrating here first today, but you better have ice cream and be ready to take me to Tina’s.” Erica greeted, walking past him immediately.

Everyone else filed in behind her, Eddie laughing a little at her words.

Steve called after her, “If I must, I must, but why can’t Eddie? Am I expected to let these guys run wild while I’m out?”

“Ice cream, Harrington! I want some now.” She demanded, ignoring the question.

“Not a waiter, try the kitchen.” He rolled his eyes, heading back to Robin, “Do I need to decide which of you opens the final day I’m doing that this year, or have you already decided?” He pointed at the music box and the kids all glanced to each other.

Lucas eventually stepped over to it, huffing towards the kitchen, “Erica had insisted she would but if all she wants now is ice cream, I’ll do it.”

“Doesn’t being Scoops Troop mean I get to when she doesn’t?” Dustin protested but didn’t move to stop him, “I swear that should overrule siblings.”

“It doesn’t. Platonic soulmates would, but that’s me and Steve, not you brats.” Robin said.

By this time Lucas had opened the tin and was passing out envelopes to everyone, leaving the reindeer toys inside it for the moment.

Max held hers up smirking, “Couldn’t stop yourself from giving us envelopes again, could you? How expensive can we make these?”

“Not very, but I’m sure you’ll find a way to make them annoying to fill anyway.” Steve matched her smirk, waiting for the rest to all open their envelopes before coughing, “And the rest, Lucas?”

Lucas nodded, turning back to get the reindeers out, “Can I cash my movie night now? You did bring some other Christmas movies home yesterday, right?” He asked, gesturing with his envelope as he handed the toys around to each of his friends.

“Sure, but I thought you guys would like some races first.” Steve shrugged at the suggestion, smirk widening at the groans that broke out.

El tilted her head, looking at her friends, “Why are races bad?”

“He’s trying to make us exercise again, El. This isn’t meant to be a work out.” Mike complained.

“But the reindeer can wind up, don’t they move like those toys you showed me before?” She asked Max now.

Narrowed eyes turned on Steve from Will and Mike, “You meant race the toys? Or are you talking about running?”

“The reindeer, but thanks for repeating your disdain for exercise you already do. Is cycling everywhere unless Eddie or I agree to give you a lift not exercise to you?” Steve quipped, pulling a large page he’d drawn a race line on over. El, Lucas and Max setting their reindeer down on it almost as soon as it was settled on the floor.

The other boys looked like they were trying to argue but didn’t have any response even after Erica came back through, a bowl of ice cream in hand. “Really is a party this time, dorky games and all. Where’s mine?” She asked, soon taking her movie night voucher and reindeer toy from where Lucas had set them beside the music tin.

Steve hadn’t been sure how the kids would like the music tin when he first added sweets into it, but it really had made his Christmas time a lot less lonely than he’d thought it might be. He loved these kids, and loved getting them to hang out with him a bit more often.

The Advent Music Box

Author's note: Doing this on a whim and the fact work gave me the music box inspiring this

Summary: Steve is sent a care package from his parents at the start of December

/\

It started with a music box.

Steve’s parents had sent him a care package that arrived on the first of December and in it was some snacks, a few items clearly intended as Christmas presents and the music box.

There was a sticker on it saying there were cookies inside it too but he took most of the morning to figure out that instead of taking a lid off like most tins needed, he had to remove the bottom of the music box.

That was what gave him the idea to fill it and challenge the kids to get the treats from inside. Since they didn’t actually go to his house very often he took it into Family Video, sure at least one of the kids would turn up sooner or later.

Perhaps he could even swing seeing them every day if he said he’d fill it with at least something small for them each day.

[darkwood-sleddog]

been doing some soft dog massage on sigurd lately to help keep him supple (he has a vet appointment about his lameness tomorrow morning), but i just rubbed the gnarliest knot out i've ever felt on his shoulder. poor bud.

[moonchild-in-blue]

Oh.

[zieatsramen]

FINALLY GOT MY HANDS ON THOSE DANG CDS

OHOHOHOHOOHOHOHOOOHOHO IT'S AO OVER FOR Y'ALL

You have no idea how long I've tried to get my hands on these guys

[orcelito]

Snow is canceled forever and ever bc it's so so scary to drive in. I don't want to drive in snow ever again. It was not even an inch though. But it was still SoScary. Unfortunately I am a Hoosier, so snow driving is inevitable.

[thatdemiboymess]

Getting that laundry done! (<- is severely out of breath and faer heart is beating out of its chest)

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

Depression is literally so embarrassing because it forces you to have confrontations like "so you know that thing that's normally no problem at all for me? Well it's genuinely upsetting me" and then have to have a whole Discussion where you have to be like "no I know it usually doesn't bother me and is very normal but I'm ✨️fragile✨️ right now because of the horrors and situations" and feel uncomfy and vulnerable and stupid about it

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

I hate being sick. I’m always convinced I’m faking it or that it’s not as bad as I think it is but I’m blowing it out of proportion for attention or to get out of something

[hellfireeddiemunson]

getting a tooth extraction is so weird. what a weird experience i’ve been having the past eight days

[hotdadlicense]

used reverse psychology this morning with my posts and it worked. today actually turned out okay and i even got an early mark. thankyou i love you

[savethepinecones]

reaching the point in a depression spiral where my thought process shifts from "i gotta push through and go to work even though i dont feel like leaving my bed because i need to keep my job" to "my mental health is important and if i feel like i need a break i should take a break" and then i take a bunch of time off work and nearly lose my job but keep telling myself that i just need a longer break and then ill bounce back

[rustinsscohles]

and with that i do believe that my run with interstellar in imax has come to an end.

[vitunhienokivi]

.

[skrunksthatwunk]

playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there

[binoculares]

.