#yes yes totally 100% normal about it

[turontot]

some doodling inbetween homework

(PLEASE DM ME FIRST FOR PERMISSION IF YOU PLAN ON REPOSTING)

[joesquinns]

[ex0rin]

Frank Grillo as Roy Pulver 2/?? Boss Level (2020)

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

[kateis-cakeis]

people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh

(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)

[safyresky]

Storm, Sleep, Single.

send a word and I'll write a drabble or a headcanon based on it (or a smile shot, since apparently the concept of a "drabble" eludes us here at safyresky industries)

Storm

The Time Splinter turned the corner, bearing down on the toddler sized sprite. It lifted its hand; a small portal opened, icicles sliding right out of the past and rushing towards the child.

She yelped, throwing out her hands and blasting snow around her, the force of which threw her out of the way of the icicles just in time as they continued down the hall, her brown braids swinging behind her.

Both Jacks turned the corner; young Jack almost toppled over, his shoes skidding on the tiled floors.

"Got you," said the older Jack, pushing his younger self upwards effortlessly as he slid easily around the corner, not loosing his balance once.

The pair booked it down the hall, fast in pursuit of the Time Splinter as it tried very, very hard to kill the tiny sprite in front of it.

She was holding up pretty well, actually, all things considered. But her little chest was heaving and her snow was getting thinner and oh no, a dead end!

The tiny sprite looked at the wall; she looked at the left. Door. She tried it; it was locked. The right—more wall. She turned around. Maybe she could sneak under it and run back? Maybe she could climb a wall? Jack could so maybe she could too? Maybe, maybe, maybe—she looked up, choking back a sobby scream.

The Time Splinter had grown in size. Behind it, her brothers were rushing over, their hands glowing, her Jack looking ready to kill and the older Jack looking very, very, very, lots of things, too many things that she couldn't even BEGIN to make words for because holy moly, the time thingy had just opened up a time hole and the largest blast of snow she had EVER seen came FLYING out, shoving them both all the way back down the hall.

They landed in a heap. The Time Splinter cackled, its sharp fingers glitching. It turned back to the young sprite with a sharp, bad, bad, BAD grin and oh no, oh no, it was opening a SECOND TIME HOLE.

She backed up, hitting the wall, looking up at the glitchy, colourful thing, unable to even shout for her brother she was so scared.

"You may have dodged all those other ones," the thing said, sounding like TV static. "But I happen to know of a set that won't miss in a few years time...let's speed things along now, shall we?" It hissed, looking back at the Jacks.

"NO! DON'T!" The older Jack shouted, trying to get back up again, only to be thrown back by a fresh glob of snowstorm from the portal the splinter had left open.

"Don't what?" His younger counterpart asked. "What did you do?"

"Bye bye, Little Flurry," the Splinter said, and, with a snap, the three icicles from so long ago but also just a few decades away came flying out of the time hole, the small sprite lifting her hands, the tiniest little ice shield popping up as both Jacks yelled NO, trying to fight what must've been one of Winter's ancient blizzards as the icicles (and the brothers) headed right for her—

"YOU don't get to call me that," said a new voice.

A wormhole had opened above the child. Snow came POURING out of the hole, hitting the ground with a THWOMP, a blue clad someone barely visible through the storm. There was a crack as the snow froze over, the three icicles embedding themselves into the snow.

The Splinter jumped back, aghast; both Jacks stopped, staring at the snowy wall, waiting.

Behind the wall, the small sprite looked up, her jaw on the floor as the woman in front of her looked down with a very familiar warm smile.

"Little Flurry," the woman said to her. "Meet the Big Storm you'll become one day," she said with a wink.

And with a battle cry, her arms flew back. The snow in front of her cracked and shattered; she pushed forwards, and the snow exploded, the hallway fast entering whiteout conditions.

The woman directed one hand upwards. The snowstorm she had unleashed in the hallway shot up. The snowy flakes froze quickly, gathering together and hitting the Time Splinter directly.

It screeched, withering in the air as the ice pellets pelted it, until finally, it shattered, dissipating above them.

The snow settled; the hall was quiet.

"You okay?" Jacqueline asked her very little self.

The little sprite took in a very deep breath, opened her mouth, and screamed, "I AM A STORM! RARGH!" Her arms reaching high, high, high above her head.

Big Jacqueline laughed; her Jack breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, she's fine," young Jack said, fondly.

Sleep

"Coffee's all around," Cassandra said, sleepy tired, as she sat at the table with most of her wing. "Extra sugar for both Jackie and Amy, double double for you, Charlie, and I have one for you too, Alex. I brought you a bit of everything because I didn't know how you took yours."

"Oh, I don't need a coffee!" he said with a brilliant smile. "I don't sleep so—uh, I mean," he said, faltering as Amy and Jackie both shot him warning glares, "Yes! Coffee! That is a beverage that I do drink because I do, in fact, need sleep because humans need, uh. Sleep. And I definitely did not get enough sleep to function. For the day. Hundred percent. So now I will have. A coffee. To stay awake. Which is something I don't just do naturally. Right."

Amy sighed in relief; Jackie facepalmed.

Cass glanced over at Charlie; he looked just as confused as she felt.

"Are the others joining us?" Amy asked, politely changing the subject.

"Derrick was out all night so no idea where he's at. Desiree's getting Starbs and hitting the library asap to secure us a study space for the midterm prep," Charlie said.

The magihuman chatted with Cass, completely unaware of how carefully Jackie and Amy were watching Alex.

"You know," he whispered, leaning forward, "I've never had coffee before."

"You have coffee at the Dream Spire, though. I'm sure of that," Dite replied. "Really good coffee, too!"

Xander nodded. "I just don't usually drink it; I take after my Renny. They don't sleep, and nor do I. Half of the dream weavers don't need sleep! The other half are always sleepy."

"You didn't think that that would come over with the ordibeing glamour, did you?" Jacqueline asked, pouring chocolate milk into her coffee.

"I have yet to be able to sleep, glamours aside, so I assumed."

"Thank goodness it worked for everyone else. Could you imagine if I was walking around with pointed ears still? Fuckin' eh," Jacqueline replied, sipping her atrocious coffee-chocolate-sugar. Thing.

"What should I put in it?"

"Whatever you want!" Dite said. "Do you want it sweet? Have sugar! Milk and cream thicken it and make it cooler and smoother."

"Chocolate milk makes it taste not like caffeine."

"You're so strange," Dite said, endearingly

"Thank you," Jacqueline replied.

"You know what? I'm going to put a bit of everything in it!"

"Everything?" the girls asked, shocked.

"Yeah! I'm going to live a little! What did my neighbour say yesterday? What was it...oh yeah! YOLO. I am going to YOLO."

"Did you hear that Dite? He's going to yolo," Jacqueline said, hiding her face in her cup.

"Be nice!" Dite said, Jacqueline suddenly lunging forward in her seat a bit, her chocolate milk coffee spilling. "Sorry, sorry. I thought that was softer. I can't see them so, you know," she shrugged.

"May I steal your chocolate milk?" Xander asked.

"Yeah, but you're refilling it."

"Of course!" Xander said, pouring the rest of the disguised sprite's chocolate milk into the very close to overfilling cup. "Well, here we go! Cheers!" he said, carefully bringing it up to his lips and taking a very long sip.

"So? What do you think?" Dite asked.

"Wow! Tasty!" he said, and then immediately fell forward, his face landing on the table with a hefty thunk.

Charlie and Cass jumped up, as startled as Amy and Jackie, who were already on either side of Alex, Amy checking for a pulse.

"Is he okay?" Charlie asked.

"He's either dead or sleeping," Jackie said. "That was his first coffee ever," she added with a grimace.

"What did he put in it?" Cass asked.

"EVERYTHING," both girls replied.

"EVERYTHING?"

Amy nodded. "He isn't dead!"

"Oh my god. He's snoring," Jackie said, stunned.

"He's actually asleep!" Amy said, shocked.

"I'm using this for later," Jackie said, taking out her phone and snapping a photo."

"ZzzzZZZzzzz," snored Alex, as the flash went off around him.

Single

Well, it was over.

He was the single last Frost standing.

Mom and Dad? Gone. Off to Rosehaven when this whole stupid war had broken out.

Did they choose to go there? Did Pyros send them there himself? As much as he wanted to believe the latter, he was positive that the pair of them had washed their hands to the mess and fled so as not to deal with the consequences of their actions.

(They should've just gone with the Call all those years ago).

And now Pyros.

Defeated by his own hand, and now sealed into the old castle they had grown up in. Hidden away from the world, both magical and ordinary. Trapped forever. Alone. King of his Castle, which is what he had wanted, anyway.

The Grand Witches finished the seals on the force field, bickering the entire time. A shadow fell over him.

"Blaise?"

He looked up. Mother Nature.

"It's been done," she said in response to his silent, stony look. He nodded, eyes down on the ground.

"Do you need a moment?"

He nodded again.

Mother Nature surveyed him intently. "Girls," she said over her shoulder. "Let's give his majesty a moment, alright?"

"Don't—" Blaise sighed. Whatever. He'd burn that bridge later.

The trio disappeared, leaving Blaise behind at the gates, staring up at Old Frost Castle.

He turned his back to it, leaning on the fence and sliding down, down, down, until he met the ground with a heavy sigh.

"Room for one more?"

He looked up; his heart softened.

"For you? Always," he said, scooting over for the season. Her cool presence was comforting.

"Still the flatterer I see," she said, sinking down beside him, her thin skirt fluttering on the way down.

"Only for you, Miss Winter."

She smiled, her hand gently resting on her collarbone. "I know it's a silly question, but I must ask. Are you okay?" she said, reaching out and touching his shoulder.

"No. Are you?"

"Not at all."

"Can we be not okay together?"

Winter smiled. "For you? Always," she said, giving his shoulder a squeeze before dropping her hands in her lap, ready to listen.

"I was just thinking," Blaise began, "It's just me now. I'm the last Frost standing. They're all gone. My mother and father. My brother. It's just me. The single last Frost." he sighed. "I don't have a house," he realized, with a funny little frown.

"You can stay in the garden, if you'd like. I'm sure Mother wouldn't mind."

"Would your sisters?"

"I don't think so, no."

"And you?"

"Not in the slightest," she said, happy to see the familiar corkscrew grin she was embarrassingly fond of on his face. "We'd all be quite happy for the company. And I think you would too, Blaise dear. You know," Winter continued, scooting even closer to the young would-be King, her knees pressed up against his toasty warm thigh. "You may be the last Frost standing, but you aren't alone," she said. "Family is what you make of it. And even though your parents are gone and your brother is, well," she pointed with her thumb over her shoulder. "You have us! Mother Nature, my sisters, countless other magibeans and myths and legends—"

"I have you," Blaise said warmly, grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

She giggled behind her free hand, squeezing Blaise back. "If you'd like."

"You know I would."

She giggled again. "It's an opportunity for a fresh start," she said, clasping his hand in both of hers. "And isn't that lovely?"

Something was happening, deep in Blaise's chest. It was warm. "It...it kind of is," he realized, that warm feeling intensifying. There was a spark; two, three more. Then a crackle. His hair, flat and dark like burnt out embers on the top of his head, began to glow, the red slowly seeping into the dark. Then WHOOSH!

His hair lit up, a roaring fire on the top of his head.

"I can do so much good!" He realized, talking with his hands. "All of those stupid rules and laws Mom and Dad had—I can get rid of them! I can change them, make it better, make this place better—" his face was growing red; he was blushing, jumping up and pacing with a spring in his step.

Oh, it had been too long since Winter had seen him like this. She had missed it; and if she were able to blush, she would be too. "We can!" he finally said, turning back to Winter, his heart free of the stony confines the War of Succession had put it in.

He held out his hand, eyes crinkling at the corners.

"We?" Winter asked, taking his hand and letting him pull her up.

"My first and ONLY order of business as King, is to get rid of the monarchy. Crystal Springs is a place for everyone; and everyone should be able to have a say in what they want. And I am going to make sure of it," he said, confident.

His hair flickered; he frowned. "Do you think your Mom would be okay with that?"

"Oh, she'll love the idea," Winter said, caressing the summer sprite's face. I love the idea, she thought. "Vive la révolution!" she announced loudly, throwing her fist in the air.

Blaise threw back his head, laughing, the flames on his head reaching heights not suitable for the indoors.

Single last Frost, huh? Well, he thought, pulling Winter along with him and running away from his childhood home, not for very much longer.

[fingertipsmp3]

I swear to god everything from the weather to my equipment to my neighbours to my own fucking body is conspiring to make sure I don’t get a good run this week

[neuro-psyche]

I think Dick and Jason would have multiple “what the actual fuck are you saying right now” with Tim and Damian when it comes to quality of life/monetary differences. Sure, Dick and Jason got used to Bruce’s “is $100 a good enough tip on a $30 bill?” shit, but hearing Tim talking about a new laptop he bought for $5000 literally is like a punch in the gut.

If they ever went on a cruise (which they totally wouldn’t because cruises are floating death traps), Jason and Dick would be in awe of the fancy amenities, where as Damian would be unsatisfied with the quality, since he grew up with every single amenity known to man. Tim would just feel like it’s all normal since the Drake’s were extravagant and travelled all over the planet.

Jason : My bedroom is bigger than my fucking apartment.

Dick : I could do a full gymnastics routine with the space in my room.

Tim :

Dick :

Tim : My room is normal sized…

Jason : You grew up in a mega mansion. I hardly think you’re the benchmark of a normal room-

Damian : I must agree with Drake. This room is frankly underwhelming.

Dick, staring wildly at him : What do you mean underwhelming- Dames there’s an aquarium wall in your room.

Damian : Yes. Underwhelming.

Jason :

Dick :

Jason : Do you want to-

Dick : Jump off the boat? Yes.

[babyleostuff]

kissing them mid argument | ot13

❥ seungcheol 

instantly forgets what you were fighting about AND will chase your lips with his. cheol usually argues until the end, but when it comes to you, it doesn't matter if the blame falls on him (even though he didn't do anything) - as long as he can go back to hugging, kissing and suffocating you with his love, he’s a 100% fine with taking the blame (okay, who’re we kidding - he’ll be a bit sulky). you’d keep apologising to each other with his forehead resting on yours, and whisper quiet "i love you’s" that cheol would seal with his pouty lips on yours. 

❥ jeonghan 

jeonghan would roll his eyes, one - to tease you, two - to hide how shy your kiss made him. his cheeks would turn into a pretty shade of pink but he’d quickly try to distract you with a sarcastic remark or gaslight you that you’re the one that got shy, just to hide his reaction. at the end though, hannie would grab your hand, pulling you closer to him, and place a soft kiss on your lips. "you're lucky that i love you, because normally i would have kicked you out of the house by now."

❥ joshua 

shy at first then turns into a little menace. he’d try to turn it all against you and probably start chasing you around the apartment so he could kiss you back (a perfect way to put that awful argument behind you, since it was about something silly anyway). shua would still have a slight blush on his cheeks when he gets you, wrapping you in a big hug, as you’d try to wriggle yourself out of his grip. soon your living room would be filled with giggles and laughs. 

❥ jun 

turns into a shy and blushy bean, which always happens when you kiss him out of the blue. jun was just so focused on the argument and careful not to raise his voice at you that he totally didn’t catch the moment you grabbed him by his hoodie, smashing your lips into his. he’d thank his lucky stars for your kiss, he absolutely hated fighting with you, and nothing felt better than feeling your lips on his, your body close to his chest, and your hands cupping his face. 

❥ hoshi 

he’d grin so widely it’d be almost impossible, with the corners of his eyes scrunched adorably - soonyoung is a number one fan of your skinship and physical affection, and you kissing him is a cherry on top no matter what - even if you’re arguing. not a second would go by, and hoshi would pull you back, kissing you all over your face as both of you would erupt in a fit of giggles and soft smiles. just for funsies, soonyoung would try to start an “argument” with you just so you’d kiss him again.   

❥ wonwoo 

malfunctiones for a hot second. just kind of stands there and blinks - no thoughts, head empty. all his rational arguments would fly out of his head and he wouldn't know what to do with himself. "yes, well.. um." then he could react in two ways - either his ears would turn red with embarrassment, or he would snap at you with the "what the hell do you think you are doing." (with love of course). wonwoo just doesn't always know how to react to your affection.

❥ woozi 

jihoon can’t help but smile - he thinks you’re the cutest and most adorable thing ever. after he realises how widely he’s smiling, he scoffs and shakes his head in disapproval, just to hide how giddy and fluffy you made him feel with such a small thing. “do you think this will end the fight?” just give him another kiss and he’s gone - the fight is forgotten, there is no way jihoon will take this argument seriously anymore, thanks to you and your cute antics. what can i say, he has THE biggest soft spot for you. 

❥ dk 

he’s face would scream “kiss me again, please?” one of the things seokmin hates the most is fighting with you - even if it’s just a small everyday argument - he can’t handle that, so he’s so so happy and relieved when you kiss him. the second you pull away you’re met with his puppy eyes and an adorable pout, so you don’t have much choice but to kiss him again. your fight would quickly turn into a soft makeout session, filled with gentle kisses and apologies, though neither of you really knew what you were apologising for at this point.  

❥ mingyu 

sulky baby because he was about to say the best argument in his life, happy that he could finally stand up for himslef (though he knew he wouldn’t have won that fight either way). but to be honest, gyu would just be relieved that the fight was over, and if he wasn't so focused on kissing you back, smashing his lips into yours, he’d probably do a victory lap around the apartment. his puppy eyes would be sparkling with nothing but love and excitement, delighted that he could go back to being his usual clingy mingoo self.   

❥ minghao 

would ignore your kiss at first and keep on fighting with you, adamant on proving his point. he’d ignore the next three kisses as well, still babbling about whatever you were fighting about. by the fifth kiss, hao would start to lose his train of thoughts, and he’d start stuttering a bit, trying to remember what he wanted to say. then the sixth and seventh kiss would come, and that’s when he’d give up on the fight. “cute,” he’d mutter with a soft smile, and finally kiss you back. 

❥ seungkwan 

“i’ll give you a kiss later, just let me finish.” very adamant on finishing the fight although he’d completely forget what he wanted to say, all thanks to your kiss, (but boo would still continue to babble even though it wouldn’t make much sense). then he’d just kind of catch himself making no sense, and he’d just laugh and kiss you back, your fight long forgotten (just as you’d be about to fall asleep he’d remember what he wanted to say, and would keep you up for the next hour just so he could finish the argument). 

❥ vernon 

malfunctiones #2. “okay, but does that mean we’re done fighting?” just stands there trying to process what had just happened, because a second ago you were arguing, and now you were kissing him? a bit confused, but relieved at the same time - vernon hates fighting with you, and it doesn’t really matter to him who takes the blame - he could honestly take the whole blame if that meant the fight was over. he’d think about that lil kiss for the rest of the day, he’d even catch himself smiling at the thought of it in the middle of practice.   

❥ chan 

blushes furiously, and hides his head in your neck. “you can’t kiss me like that, we’re fighting!” he’d mumble, although you knew he had forgotten about the argument the second your lips touched his - chan was just too shy to admit that. turns into a little cutie, because even though your relationship is filled with surprise kisses, and out of the blue hugs, they always make him shy and so fuzzy on the inside, and he can’t help but blush as every coherent thought leaves his mind.

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[suhkusa]

THE KISS BET.

PAIRING. Bakugou Katsuki x f!Reader

SUMMARY. Your friends bet you to kiss Katsuki Bakugou. Fortunately for you, they’re offering you $500 for it. Unfortunately for you, the two of you absolutely hate each other.

CW. third year, angst to fluff, light hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers, mature humor, feelings, language

WC. ~2.8k

A/N. enjoy :3

You and your group of friends had a running gig. Bets. 

The group would bet one person to do something, on a scale from normal to outrageous, and that person’s turn wouldn’t end until they complete that bet. Of course, depending on how crazy the bet is, everyone would put in some amount of money. 

The most you’d gotten was $100 total from accepting a date from creep in the business class. Worst date of your life, but Jirou felt bad so she gave you an extra $50. 

As the lot of you gather around the campfire, everyone offers up their money to Mina who had just done her bet to put laxatives in Kirishima’s drink. There were a lot of questions about the morality of it, but you ignored it and gave her a crisp $20. 

“Y/N~ it’s your turn!” Ochako gleed. 

You roll your eyes, “I feel like I just did my other bet, which by the way was shit,” the girls laugh at your words. “I feel like all of you get the easier ones,”

“Easy? I had to kiss Monoma, do you know how hard that was? He knows I’m lesbian so imagine how hard that was for me to convince him,” Yaoyorozu sighs with a palm to her face.

“Oh, whatever,” Mina says with a clap of her hands, “You want a hard one, Y/N?”

“I mean that’s the whole point of paying each other to do bets, they’re supposed to be hard,” 

“Be careful what you wish for,” Mina smirks before standing up and pointing at you. 

“I bet you $100,” your ears perk up.

“-to kiss–,” your eyes widen but listen nonetheless.

“Katsuki Bakugou,” your world falls apart.

“Mina, no,” 

“Y/N, yes,” she jumps up and down, “It’s too late, I already said it,”

All the other girls are hooting and hollering, but you just sit there in silence as you stare at the flames. Are you really going to try this?

As you consider your options the other girls start placing their bet offerings.

“$75 from me,” Tsuyu calls out.

Then from Hagakure, “$50,”

“$150,” from none other than Yaoyorozu. 

“I guess I’ll put in $80,” Jirou smiles at your misery.

“Hmm, I’ll even it out with $45, so $500 flat for you, Y/N,” Ochako smiles.

$500?!? You’d be outright stupid to deny such a big amount of money. But you’d even stupider to think Katsuki Bakugou would kiss you of all people. 

“I think that’s impossible,” you whine as the other girls poke fun at you.

“I guess only time will tell,” Mina grabs your hands and smiles, “Good luck, Y/N,”

—

You can hear the rambunctiousness of your class before you walk in. When you walk through the doors, your eyes scan the class before your eyes lock in on Katsuki Bakugou. You groan with a roll of your eyes before stomping your way towards him. 

“Hey, Katsuki,” you stare down at him, “You want to do me a favor,”

“For you? I rather eat shit,” he grumbles as he meets your gaze.

“You’re a freak,” you already knew this was going to be hard, “Please,”

“Mm, depends, what’s in it for me?” 

“I guess you’ll find out,” you say. “Kiss me,”

It feels like the class goes silent as the two of you continue to just stare at each other. He opens his mouth then closes it. 

“You– The fuck?” His eyes are scattering as the words continue to process through his mind, “What a weirdo, hell no,” then he’s pushing himself out of his seat and making his way to the door.

“You know class starts in 5 minutes right?” you call to him.

“Fuck off,” he grunts as he shuts the door behind him.

Yep, definitely hard. 

—

The next time you bother Bakugou for a kiss is when the two of you are paired up for combat training. Much against his will. 

“Katsuki~” you call out as you dodge another blow from him. “You can’t avoid me forever,”

“Yes-” another explosion, “I can,”

You go on the offense as you continue, “Just a peck, please. I’m a good kisser, I promise,” 

“You’re shit,” he’s grumbling between dodges of your attacks.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you send him a wink before getting a hit on him. 

Bakugou groans, about to send another remark, when the training ends with a blow of a whistle.

The two of you meet eyes one last time, “Think it over, kay?” you smile before walking away.

—

Knock, knock. 

You stand at Bakugou’s door.

“Go away, perv,”

“Aw, how did you know it was me? You missed me?”

“I can just tell by the stench,” 

You laugh a little at his words, “Please, let me explain to you and maybe you’ll reconsider,” 

You can hear footsteps, and you smile. When he opens the door he’s adorned in his classic black tank and some sweats.

“You should put some clothes on, perv,” you mock. “Anyways, it was a bet from my friends and there’s $500 on the line, so if you would just–”

“I don’t kiss just anyone, princess,” the nickname causes you to fluster, but you shake it off as he continues, “You gotta earn it,”

He’s got a stupid smirk on his face, and you didn’t even realize it but he’s definitely leaning closer to you. It’s sending butterflies– well maybe more like moths– into your stomach. 

“What the– You’re definitely the pervert. I’m just going to ask to call it off,” you fake gag, “Later, loser,” 

“You’ll be back, nerd,”

You internally groan as you hear him shut the door, ignoring the intense heartbeat in your chest.

—

“No,” Mina says.

“What?! I told you it’s impossible,” you argue, all of your friends on the other side of the argument. 

“No it’s not, he said you had to earn it right?” Mina retorts, “So obviously there’s a way, you’re just stubborn,”

“You’re really not asking me to… You guys are crazy. Please, please, I’ll take anyone else, anything else,” 

“Sorry, Y/N, it’s the rules,” Tsuyu looks at you with pity.

“He hates me and I hate him! That’s all there is to it. It’s not going to happen,”

“Why do you guys even hate each other? It’s our third year, get over it already,” Jirou teases. 

“Because he’s a dick and I refuse to let him walk all over me! I just cursed him out one time for calling me weak. He’s the one who holds grudges because of his fragile, little heart,” 

“You should’ve known he’d hold that against you, but I honestly doubt he hates you because of that,” Mina says. “He probably thought you looked hot,” she laughs.

Heat rushes to the tips of your eyes, “Whatever, all of you are weirdos. But anyways-”

“No, Y/N,” Mina states, end of subject.

“You all just want me to kill myself,” you groan as you sink into the couch. “Whatever, but I’m going to force all of you to double your offering if I actually do this shit,”

The girls cheer. You cry inside. Anything for money, you guess.

—

It seems like the universe heard about the predicament you were in, because it felt like you were suddenly around him more often ever since the bet had been set.

“You know, I don’t want to be on patrol with you either,” you grumble, kicking at rocks as the two of you walk up and down the roads of the dorms.

“Glad we agree,”

Silence washes over you both. 

“Why don’t you want to kiss me? Am I ugly or something?” you ask, but it definitely comes off sadder than you intend.

“Don’t get all insecure because you don’t get a stupid kiss,” he looks the opposite direction of yours, “You know damn well you’re not ugly, so don’t piss me off,” 

He had a strange way of saying stuff.

“Aw, you love me, don’t you?” you tease, poking at his arm.

“Ah you dumbass, pay attention,” you snap back into place with a laugh, “‘M just saying you’re better looking than some of these extras,” 

You don’t know what to say in response to his words. Because they were surprisingly very sweet. 

Realizing he had said too much, he changes the subject. “Let’s go this way,”

You follow him with a nod.

There was definitely a certain type of tension lingering that the two of you walked in near silence for the rest of the patrol. 

You definitely were not repeating back his words in your head over and over again for the rest of the patrol. And Katsuki Bakugou was definitely not turning red because of what he said earlier. Definitely not. 

—

After that patrol, things seemed to sort of shift between the two of you. And to say it was scary was an understatement. 

Conversations wouldn’t always start off with the two of you insulting or cursing each other out. There’d be a hey or hello. If you guys saw each other in passing, he’d greet you with a nod of his head. Him being anything but passive aggressive towards you was terrifying because it was so not him. 

“Y/N,” a familiar voice calls out to you, you groan as you put your pencil down.

“I’m studying, what do you want, Katsuki?” 

“Come with me to the movies after school today,” it’s not really a question, more like a command. 

You put your hands to your mouth in fake(?) excitement, “You’re asking me on a date?! So kind, Katsuki,” 

“It’s not a date, idiot. I’m going with Ei and Denki later, they’re bringing Jirou and Mina. They were teasing me for not bringing anyone, so come,”

“If I don’t?” you muse.

“Be there or be square, nerd,” he doesn’t take your bait, but you can tell he’d prefer it if you go. He walks away before you can respond. 

Well, you guess you have plans later.

;;;

You meet up with the lot of them at the allotted time. The group walks together, and you thank God your friends have a questionable taste in men so you wouldn’t be stuck with some randos. But you also have half a mind to curse them out for leaving you to fend for yourself when you all arrive at the theater. 

They left you with no choice but to sit with Bakugou. Part of you really hates it, but not as much as you hate the rate at which your heart beats. 

For the most part, the two of you just sit there in awkwardness. The other couples indulge in that lovey dovey shit, and it makes you feel out of place. You zone out and get into your head. Was there a motive in asking you to come out here? He could’ve invited like… Midoriya… or Ochako… Or anyone, really. But, you? Does he like you? Or were you his last option to invite? Your head hurts from overthinking.

Your hand rests in your lap, picking at the material of your pants. At least that’s what it was doing. Until it happened. 

From the corner of your eye, you watch as Bakugou slid his hand into yours. His fingers finding a comfortable place between your own. You release a deep breath when you realize you were holding your breath. Is he out of his fucking mind?

Despite your efforts to try and justify how much you absolutely hate it. You didn’t even try to stop him. You didn’t pull away. You didn’t let his hand go. And even as the movie ended, you actually felt sad when he slid his hand away. 

The cool air of the night shocked you a bit when all of you made it outside. 

“We were thinking of grabbing a bite, did you guys want to come?” Mina exclaims. 

“Ooh, that sounds good, are you down, Jirou?”

“Sure, and you guys?” they all look at you.

“I- I have a stomach ache… Butter fucks with my stomach really bad,” the excuse is kind of weak, but still holds up as they all nod in understanding. 

“I can walk you to the dorm,” Bakugou offers, and you don’t really give him a yes or no, he just follows you.

Kirishima and Mina whistle and holler as the two of you part ways with the rest of them. 

Part of you regrets making up some stupid lie to go home. Because this was way more awkward than getting free pizza. 

The two of you are right by each other as you walk in silence towards the dorm. You wait. And wait. Wait for him to bring it up. Why did he do that? Why did he grab your hand? Was it all a front?

Why is he treating you so well?

Even as he drops you off at your room, he says nothing. Just a simple “Goodnight,” before he’s making his way to the elevator.

What an asshole.

—

So you take the initiative. The initiative in ignoring him. You weren’t some casual fling. Fuck the bet, fuck him.

When you saw him making his way towards you, you were quick to get up and rush out of the classroom. When he nodded your directions in passing, it was easy to just walk past and not acknowledge him. Whatever there was between you and him, was gone. Whatever “it” was, exactly. 

But you were okay. You guess. You were down $500 or $1000, but whatever. That game was bullshit anyways. You always got the worst bets. You kind of felt bad that you were the end of it, though. 

It was easy to avoid him. That’s what you thought. At least until one week later, you found yourself cornered by your dorm room with nowhere to go.

“What the fuck is up with you?” he’s angry, you’d be stupid if you thought otherwise.

You cross your arms and avoid his intense gaze, “Whatever do you mean?” 

He’s getting closer, and a tiny, like miniscule, part of you finds angry-him hot. “You know what the hell I mean, you’ve been avoiding me,” 

“Nuh uh,” you retort, still avoiding the subject at hand. “I’ve just been busy, sorry,”

“Like hell, Racoon Eyes said you’ve been in your dorm room everyday, so try again, asshat,”

Fucking Mina.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” you poke at his chest, “Now get out of my way before I beat your ass,”

“Yeah? I’d like to see you try,” he’s smiling with mockery.

“Oh, I’m sure you’d like to be touched by me, you little virgin,” you inspect your nails in nonchalance, “Too bad, so sad, now move,”

“No, not until you answer me,” he’s a bit more serious now, you can sense it in his tone. 

You groan, “Fine, not until you answer me, though. Why the fuck did you hold my hand and act like it didn’t happen? Am I like a joke to you?”

He straightens up and his eyes widen. He looks to the side, then back at you.

“You’re fuckin’ smart, why don’t you take a guess?”

“You’re not a baby, why don’t you use your words?” 

You got him there.

“Maybe ‘cuz I like you, or something, idiot,”

You laugh. Laugh. Because he really thought you’d believe a stupid joke like that.

“You’re funny, but seriously, why did–”

A kiss. Katsuki Bakugou has always been known for his speed and his wit. But now you see it more than ever. As he steals a kiss from you. It happens faster than you’re able to even realize you’re leaning into it. 

When the two of you part, it’s tense again. You don’t know if you should say something but he takes that choice from you.

“You think that was funny?” he asks.

“Well- no, but–”

“No buts, that’s that,”

“I didn’t even say I like you back! What if I didn’t-”

“Oh, so you do?” you jump up in realization you fumbled your words. “Good to know, princess,”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying. How was I supposed to know you liked me? You’re such an asshole, you know?”

“Really? Because this asshole just got you some cash,” he laughs referring to the bet, “But y’know, I don’t let just anyone call me Katsuki,”

You grit your teeth before throwing a punch at his arm, “Annoying! Annoying, so annoying,” 

Another hearty laugh escapes from his lips as he pulls you into a hug. You didn’t even know Bakugou gave hugs. But you don’t mind it. 

“You’re such a pervert, I bet you’ve been looking forward to that kiss,” he teases.

“Yeah? Well you’re a pervert for even kissing me in the first place,”

—

YOU: pay up bitches

YOU: i’m talking double btw

[164 new notifications]

You were rich and in love. What more could you ask for?

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[nemjun]

just told myself that enjoying gay porn is ok bc i can just clench and pretend im a dude. which, thats very trans of me

anyways im high

[foundfamilynonsense]

Sometimes I just want to sit down and say, like… Gay men, lesbian women, and straight people. You could wake up tomorrow and discover you’re actually bi.

Tomorrow you could meet someone of the sex you do not think you are attracted to and go “oh fuck���. There is no rule— nothing—that says that could not happen to you at any moment.

“I’ve lived forty years without—” so?

“I can just tell I’m—” how?

Now, we can get into the conversation of how these labels aren’t actually law, and that you can be a lesbian even if there was that one guy and you can be a straight guy if there were those two guys in college and etc.

And that’s totally true and valid and we should normalize that. But that’s another post.

My point for this post is that, yes, you are one strange meeting away from being bisexual. It will probably never happen. But you can never say with 100% certainty that it won’t happen.

But that doesn’t mean every gay, lesbian, and straight person should start calling themselves bisexual just in case. That would be a completely absurd thing to expect.

Can you imagine if we go around to gay men and were like “but how do you know you’ll never be attracted to a woman?” Imagine if we did it to straight people? The idea you have to call yourself Bi just in case?

This is easy to understand. So why is it so hard for people to understand when it comes to asexual and aromantic people?

Like… I suppose I could wake up tomorrow and catch some feels for someone. I… doubt it. But it could happen.

But I’ve been alive 22 years and it hasn’t happened yet. So why should I expect it? Why should I spend time thinking about it? Why should I label myself based on that slim possibility?

The number of straight people who have said to me “well you never know” or “maybe you just haven’t met the right person” or whatever. Can you all IMAGINE what they would say to me if I threw it back?

“Oh, sally, you don’t like any women yet but you never know. Maybe you just haven’t met the right woman.” Their heads would explode I think.

I am an adult. I have been through college and it’s social life. My brain is (basically) done developing and I finished puberty quite a while ago. How late do you have to be before people concede that you’re not a “late bloomer” you’re just not gonna bloom at all?

Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and be attracted to someone. I still would consider myself on the aroace spectrum. But to be honest I think I know myself enough to trust it’s not going to happen. And I don’t think I should have to plan for it or expect it.

[gyusimp]

𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨 [𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭]

ᴹⁱⁿᵒʳˢ ᴰᴺᴵ! | ᔆᵐᵘᵗ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵉⁿᵗ | ᴬʳᵗ ᵇʸ⠘ ˢʰᵃᵈᵉˢ ᵒᶠ ᴸᴼⱽᴱ ᵒⁿ ᵀʷⁱᵗᵗᵉʳ

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Kenji will always be very sweet. No matter how stupid he made you after sex, he will treat you gently and help you get back on your feet. He will clean you up first and then himself and he will be happy to take a shower together if you are okay with it. Although he is a bit of a fussy person so it is 100% certain that he will not go to sleep without changing the sheets for new ones. For your comfort and his, and he might put some air freshener in the air lol.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I feel like Kenji is very proud of his entire body, but especially his arms and torso. Have you seen that broad back? That man is to die for and he knows it, that's why he loves sleeping shirtless and teasing you. As for you, he loves everything about you, but he definitely has a fixation on your thighs and touching your ass whenever he gets the chance.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He's open to possibilities as long as you are too. Besides cumming inside you, he likes to do it for some reason where a few drops get on your strands of hair or a few drops run down your collarbones. He has a habit of teasing you by kissing you after taste you, so you'll taste yourself on his lips.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He's fantasized about doing things with you in his Ultraman form, why? Because yes. It's really nothing more than a fantasy because not even his pinky finger could fit inside you, but imagining you so small and needy in the palm of his hand has made his thoughts go beyond the limits he thought he knew.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Nothing. Kenji has no prior experience, not even a little. As famous and handsome as he is, we know that he suffered from bullying in his childhood years which affected his social skills so if I can't imagine him with friends, much less having encounters of that kind. His first time with you was an adorable disaster but you took care of making him feel safe always and over time he managed to improve his technique quite a bit.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any one where he can see your face but is also addicted to you riding him or if he's too needy he'll let you on top and spread his legs for you to do whatever you want.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It depends on his mood. He usually acts normal but if he wants to tease you or is really excited he might tell a couple of dirty jokes to make you blush.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

This man is a total grooming person. I can see a shelf in his shower full of hair products, aftershave, skin moisturizers and all that stuff so yes, Kenji pays attention to detail and if he isn't completely shaved there will always be a neat, impeccable trim. You're never going to see a mess down there. Ever.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

There are times when you two are too horny to get romantic but that doesn't mean it's just sex without love. But, when he's truly focused on making love to you in every sense of the word, he's the most romantic man in the world. He makes you feel like you're on cloud nine with his soft caresses and kisses, his words are so deep that when you both finish, you end up seeing everything in rose-colored glasses and even loving your insecurities after he completely praised you from the bottom of his heart.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I don't see Kenji doing this kind of thing, he's a mature adult and quite busy too so if he ever did it, it was in puberty out of pure curiosity. Now he has you so if he's horny he knows you can always help him and if he's lonely he'll just get moody.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I think after taking care of Emi and researching parenting and fatherhood issues he had some praise kinks left, but nothing serious. He doesn't show it anywhere other than the bed and you discovered it little by little on your own when he told you things like how he was eager to fill you with his seed and how excited it made him to think of you carrying his baby in you one day. Whenever you bring it up he doesn't completely deny it but it's because he's a little embarrassed to admit it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Nothing like the comfort of his bed or yours but he's open to new places to make it more exciting. Places like his basement or the stadium locker room when the team has left have been the perfect spots for a quickie.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He likes you touching him, your hands are his weakness. Also for some reason when you are dressed up nicely, like clothes he is not used to seeing you in for example a skirt and heels to go to work or a nice dress for an event. He always thinks "is that my girlfriend?" and feels the need to rip your clothes off already.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He doesn't agree with the idea of hurting you so he's against BSDM. If you were to ask him to do something related (like asking him to hit you or call you names) he would try to do it at first to fulfill your whim but after a while he would feel uncomfortable and maybe not want to continue. Maybe what he would tolerate a little longer would be to call you names just by seeing your intense reactions and they would be mild words like "slut" or "bitch".

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

As I mentioned before, he is inexperienced in person until after a couple of times. He likes to receive but he prefers thousands of times to give. The feeling of your folds against his tongue and your pussy between his lips is indescribable for him. He loves to grab you by the thighs and wrap his arms around your legs while he gets lost between your crotch for hours being blessed with the sound of your voice before his actions.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It will also depend on his mood. A happy, romantic, sweet Kenji who longs to spend time with you after a long week at work will be deep and slow but careful. But a Kenji who is stressed out from losing so many games, fighting with players from other teams and tired of being a baby kaiju's single mother and breaking his back being Ultraman will throw you on the mat face down and grab onto your hips to pound you like there’s no tomorrow and then flip you over to put your knees on his shoulders because you’re dumb enough to do it on your own (of course you’re okay with all of this).

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He is a fan of quickies, he couldn't live without them. He tends to have mental breakdowns more often than you think and between so many games, interviews and training sessions he sometimes comes home too tired to do it slowly and formally, so you can also offer him several quickies a week so that they are little breaks for him and he can de-stress and continue.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He has a slight interest in doing it where he can get caught, like the time where his hands got too far with you in the stadium locker room before a game and his teammates were feet away getting ready in the hallway outside.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He is a professional athlete who is used to hours of training, cardio and all that stuff. His average is 3-4 rounds when he feels mentally stable and physically rested. You usually ends up with pain in your lower back and the back of your knees.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't have any toys and he wouldn't use them on himself. If he ever bought one it would be to use it with you so you could both experience something new together.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to embarrass you but in a good way. Maybe he'll mention things about how desperate you are or how abundant your release was today with just a few touches. This man's ego is big and it expands to the sky when he can see you under him sweaty and moaning his name repeatedly so it's the perfect setting for him to joke around in more egotistical and arrogant ways with you to make you blush.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

If you're in a completely safe and alone place, Kenji will never shut his mouth. He's unconsciously very expressive in that aspect and will say whatever he wants and needs to say, even if something bothers him. His tone of voice is thicker and more desperate as if he's throwing little tantrums asking for more from you. Sometimes it confuses you when he claims that you're too tight around him. Is he complaining or is he grateful for it?

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He loves to make dirty calls with you when you are at home and he is away from you. He feels very proud of himself knowing the power he has over you and how he manages to make you wet even when he is not present, calling you with some dirty nicknames that he saves just for you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's not too far from average. When the baby is asleep he's pretty normal sized although still noticeable in tight jeans or his Ultraman form. But when the baby wants action he's maybe an inch or an inch and a half taller than average. Kenji is a tall, thin young man so his strengths would be more length than girth.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

In the middle, not too low or too desperate. Although sometimes his thoughts are the ones to blame for making him feel horny and that's when he asks you for help to solve it, but on a scale of 1-10 I'd leave it at 7. He knows when it's more prudent to let himself go and when not to.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He won't fall asleep until you do unless he's had a bad day and all he wants to do is sleep in your arms right after he's cum. If he's tired enough to sleep on the same sheets you two made out with earlier.

[jasi-jx]

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ 𝗠𝗘𝗗𝗗𝗟𝗘 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 (ft. kei tsukishima)

𝗸𝗲𝗶 𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝗮 𝗰𝗿𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 !

tw: situationships, friends with benefits, tsukishima kei (yes, he is a warning)

author’s note: I love him so much oh my god, I loved doing kenma and couldn’t wait to do my first ever haikyuu crush. Might do other characters too! You can find other characters (for haikyuu) under #jasi-jx meddle about

_______________________________________________

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ I actually think he noticed immediately that he had a crush on you. He is self-aware of his thoughts and feelings.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ I would say he is more of a experimenter in this kind of situation. Slowly changing his behavior towards you to see how you treat him.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ If you gave it back to him when he acted like a jerk, that definitely caught his attention. Replayed the scene in his head multiple times that night.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ Was convinced he left an impression that made you think he is a total arrogant ass.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ Once he was done being an asshole he became quiet.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ He is surprised if you made up ways to talk to him.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ But he was cold now, and not normal tsukishima kei cold. Not even making a sarcastic or insulting comment type of cold.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ This probably ended in some type of situationship.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ He is never 100% sure you return his feelings (probably never will be unless you tell him out right) so he never confesses or asks you out.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ Makes sudden moves that come off flirty but walks away a second later. Like a small compliment or being concerned about your wellbeing.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ “Nice shirt, you listen to [band name]?”

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ Actually thought you were made for him when he stalked your spotify

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ Like Kenma, he listens more to people when they talk about you.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ But he is more so interested in what you say about him to other people.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ Discovered that he loves making you blush. That was kind of the button that needed to be pressed for him to actually ACTUALLY think about asking you out.

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ If you did it first, he thanked you for it later in the relationship. But if you didn’t…

.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ I like to fantasize that its a kinda cringy romance manga scene or friends with benefits into a relationship.

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Dean watching Cas talk about something overcome with how smitten he is, fully not processing anything Cas is saying just going mmhm yeah yes totally, his head repeating cas kissing cas mouth mouth pink cas love him kiss Cas. So he doesn't even really notice himself leaning in and doing it until Cas pulls away and goes "um. ?" and Dean's brain clicks back on at 100 miles per hour. He says "I um. I didn't..." he looks around and sees Sam's bug eyed surprised face bc he was there this whole time bc it was just a normal conversation. Dean says "I just gotta. Um. I'll see you around." And fucking legs it.

Cas and Sam are left in awkward, confused silence. Cas puts his hand up to his mouth and, after a beat, asks "is the formation of rock pools really so stimulating?" (Bc that's what he'd been talking about) and Sam's halfway through saying "I have no clue, man," when Dean bursts back into the room, grabs Cas’s face and kisses him thoroughly because, fuck it, if he's going to have to deal with how awkward he's just made things he may as well have a kiss he can remember out of it.

Obviously, Cas gives as good as he gets, and Sam's like (amused) "okay I guess we'll talk later" as he makes his escape. Dean, with his hand already making its way up under Cas’s shirt, calls "much later. Next year, Sammy" (Cas kisses his neck) "next DECADE."

[libraryraccoon]

Hi, I would like to request Alastor with a reader who is like the Trailblazer from Star rail please

I just like to think that their dynamic would drive everyone up the walls

- Alastor unleashing Trailblazer!Reader on the world

Gender : GN

Pronouns : None

Message of Raccoon : Alastor with a Caelus/Trailblazer!Reader but it's mostly crack.

Alastor

First of all, you look like a raccoon.

I'm not the one who makes the rules.

You were, in fact, an angel.

But you were fallen because you rummaged through people's trash…

So now you're in Hell.

Alastor met you shortly after you arrived, you were beating up demons with an angelic baseball bat when he found you.

He immediately found you interesting, because :

You had an angelic weapon, a baseball bat. It was the first time he had seen a baseball bat as an angelic weapon.

You were a raccoon demon and you were in a fight. Raccoon demons, according to popular belief, were people who flew unnoticed and fled from any type of battle; they didn't like to fight.

You were beautiful.

But, like, the kind of beauty that was misused.

With all these points taken into account, yes he find you interesting.

Alastor came to talk to you before taking you to the Hazbin Hotel.

Over time, he understood that you were the exception who confirmed the rule on raccoon demons.

Why ? Because you were a being of chaos.

Not a day went by without someone seeing you running through hell, angelic baseball bat in hand, creating chaos and destroying everything.

Carmilla brought him to her neighborhood one day at 3AM because you were creating chaos there.

He swears that it's you who create the principle of chaos.

And when you're not creating chaos, you're rummaging through trash…

How Alastor even began to love you is a mystery even he doesn't have the answer to.

When Alastor realized that he love you, he had two reactions :

“Holy shit I can be in love.” Coming off the aromantic 'can't feel romantic feelings at all' spectrum was NOT one of the things he wanted this year.

“HOLY SHIT I FALL FOR THE VIOLENT RACCOON FROM HELL”

Denial. Instantly.

It took him 3 months to come out of the first phase of the grief, the denial.

Not about being able to love, no, he accepted that.

But falling in love with you ?

Hell nah.

It took him 4 months to accept it, finally coming out of his grief.

He complained to Rosie about it, 100%.

“How could I fall for someone like that..” -Alastor, totally done with all this shit.

“Look on the bright side, Y/N is handsome.” -Rosie, not understanding the seriousness of the situation.

He didn't confess, praying that his feelings would go away.

It was you who confess.

He helped you heal some of your wounds, and you just said "Thank you, I love you." Before kissing his forehead and leaving, like if it was normal.

After that, you got the "you can touch me but not too much" pass, which allowed you to touch Alastor.

And you use it too often at Alastor's opinion.

Now, when you're not digging through trash, not doing what you were created for (chaos), you stay with Alastor.

People don't fuck with Alastor anymore, not because they're afraid to be in his radio show, oh no no ! They didn't want to meet the madman that he call his partner.

You two are the most feared duo/couple in Hell.

Even if in truth you are just two people who love each other and love chaos.

Alastor entertained himself by watching the chaos you created. It's canon, I don't make the rules.

The Hazbin Hotel crew judges you so LOUD.

Charlie is the only one to support you two with Niffty.

Angel Dust asks too many questions for his well-being about you and the history of your relationship.

Vaggie is, and always will be, shocked to see you touch Alastor without consequences, or even to see you kiss him.

Husk asked you how you can love Alastor...

You took 3 hours for explaining the why-

No one asked after that.

Sir Pentious was just like "🧍‍♂️ does that mean you're Alastor's weakness ?"

Lucifer give you a lot of side eyes.

No, I won't elaborate.

Vox tried to kidnap you…

…

There was a week without Vox on TV, and every time someone mentioned your name, he flinched.

Let's not even talk about when he sees you after that..

Alastor himself doesn't want to know what you did to him.

You are the more affectionate and touchy one in the relationship.

Alastor always knows what you are thinking by your expressions.

The day you told him you were an angel and why you were sent to Hell, he was shocked.

Because, how on the 7 circles of Hell, a being of chaos was an angel ??

He just asked "How can an angel be so chaotic ?"

And you just shrugged your shoulders.

You yourself didn't know how you got to Heaven in the first place-

I just know that you touch his ears and his deer tail as soon as you are in private, and that even before being a couple.

You're just a 'I need to touch everything' person.

Alastor tried to get you to stop digging through the trash, but he never succeeded.

Alastor loves you, yes, but sometimes (read : often) he wishes he didn't.