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maxwell-grant · 3 years ago

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You have done an (excelent) post on how to reinvent Batman as a Pulp Hero. Do you think you could do one to Superman as well? Or do you think it is impossible to do this with the progenitor of the Super Hero genre without transforming him in a totaly diferent character?

Well, you saying it as impossible only makes it seem ever more tempting of a challenge, but yes, it is a bit harder. I'm gonna link my Batman post here as a reference point.

Partially because Batman's a franchise I've thought extensively about for a long time in regards to what I like about it or how I'd like to approach if given the opportunity, which is not something I can really say for Superman until more recently the Big Blue to start orbiting my brain. I don't have years worth of redesigns or fan concepts saved on my galleries and files to comb through to pick and choose here, and my experience with Superman as a character is considerably different, in some aspects more deeply personal, and not really something I'd like to go into in this blog, at least not now.

Part of the reason why it's harder is also because Batman and Superman have very different relationships with their pulp inspirations. Batman was, ostensibly, a pulp character adapted to comics, a dime-a-dozen Shadow knock-off who picked up and played up diverging traits from other characters and gradually ran with them to gradually forge a unique identity. Superman right from the start was rooted in a much stronger conceptual underpinning: the Sci-Fi Superman and Alien Menace who, instead of being a tragic monster or a tyrannical villain, becomes a costumed adventurer and social crusader. Even the name Super-Man was taken from an early story of Siegel and Shuster about a telepathic villain who ends the story lamenting that he should have used his powers for the good of mankind instead of selfishness. I hesitate to call what Siegel and Shuster were doing “subversive” because that term's picked up a real negative connotation, and it's not like Siegel and Shuster were out to upend their influences (they were pulp aficionados themselves), but rather putting a more positive, new spin on them.

Which is why it also becomes a bit harder to do what I did with Batman and align Superman with some of his pulp-esque inspirations, like John Carter, Flash Gordon or Hugo Danner, without just making it "Superman but he's John Carter", "Superman but it's Flash Gordon", and "Iron Munro / Superman but everything sucks" respectively. It's harder to create a character that wouldn't feel reduntant and derivative at best, and actively contradictory to Superman at worst.

I guess if I had to come up with a "Pulp Hero Superman" take I liked, well first of all I'd have to take steps to distance it from the likes of Tom Strong or Al Ewing's Doc Thunder, those two are as good as it gets in regards to Pulp Supermen. I stipulated for Batman a "No Guns, No Murder, No Service" policy partially to distance my takes on Batman from all the "Pulp Batmen" that just add guns and murder and take Batman back to the barest of basics. Likewise, I'm adding a "No Depowered Science Hero" rule here, which means it's a take that's likely going to veer off a lot more into fantasy and probably enough tampering with Clark's character that it does risk becoming a different character.

Frankly I don't think I'm gonna succeed at doing these without just making it a new character entirely, because with Batman you can get away with just upending the character's aesthetic and setting and even origin and still keep it recognizably Bruce Wayne (in fact Batman does that all the time), which isn't really the case with Superman, who needs those to remain recognizably Superman as he goes through internal changes and character shifts. I guess what I'm gonna do here is more taking the building blocks of Superman/Clark Kent and see a couple new ways I can rearrange them to create a Pulp Superman

Perhaps something we can do is to scale back or recontextualize the "superhero" parts without diminishing Superman's role as a superpowered fantasy character.

One way we can start is by picking on that connection between Superman and the sci-fi supermen/alien monsters of pulps I mentioned earlier and play it up further, to create a Superman who's deeply, deeply alien in a way that no mild-mannered disguise or colorful outfit can really disguise, something so dramatically powerful and alien, that instead you could get tales about the kinds of ensuing changes and ripple effects this has on the world upon the The Super-Man's arrival. And for that I'm gonna have to quote @davidmann95's concept for Joshua Viers' absolutely stunning Superman redesign on the left side of the image above

The red, the goldish-orange and white, the alienness, the angelic, sculpted feeling, the halo, that innocently curious expression: it’s genuinely beautiful. Superman as a redeeming science-angel from beyond our understanding, as much past the uncanny valley of limited human comprehension as a Lovecraftian monster but tuned to the opposite key - you could spend an endless procession of human lifetimes trying and failing to understand this being, but all you’ll ever know for sure is that it is beyond you, and it knows you, and it loves you.

Superdoomsday from Earth 45, healed and transformed into the savior it was originally envisioned as? Some descendant of his, or a future of the man himself? An alien who picked up on a broadcast of Superman from Earth, and so inspired reshaped itself in his image to spread his ‘gospel’ to the stars?

Alternatively, to come back to Earth a little, many, many pulp characters and series were built off the antics and personalities of real people, celebrities getting their own magazines or serials or fictionalized takes on them, so perhaps one way to make a "pulp" take on Superman would be to emphasize a bit more of Superman's real-world roots, trends that inspired his creation directly or indirectly at the time. The Jewish strongman Sigmund Breibart and Shuster's interest in fitness culture, Harold Lloyd's comic persona, the rising "strongman" film genre in the early 20th century, actors Clark Gable and Kent Taylor that supposedly named his secret identity, Clark Kent being a socially-awkward journalist based of Siegel's own school experiences.

Maybe one start to an authentic Pulp Superman, who would still be Superman, would be to just ask the question "What if Superman was a real person and/or a celebrity, and they started making pulp magazines and serials dedicated to him? What would those look like?". You wouldn't even have to restrict it to just a story set in the 1930s, in fact you could even play around with the rise of new mediums over the decades.

This third one is a little closer to some plans I have for my own take on a Superman character, not necessarily what I would do with Superman proper but one of my ideas for a Superman analogue. Superman's a character I'll always associate strongly with childhood and childhood fantasy, and to tap into that I would emphasize the other end of the fiction that influenced Siegel and Shuster: comic strips, in their case specifically Little Nemo and Popeye.

In my case I would bring additional influences from some of the comic strips I personally grew up reading like Monica's Gang and Calvin and Hobbes, and I already talked a bit about Captain Fray in terms of how he’s a Superman character despite being a villain. I guess you could call this one "What if Superman was a public domain comic strip character, stripped of the importance of being the founding figure of a super popular genre or extended universe, and also was kind of ugly?".

He's not "Sloth from the Goonies" ugly, I swear I didn't actually have Sloth in mind when typing out this idea, I've never watched that film nor did I know until now that he actually spends the film in a Superman shirt. That's not really what I'm going for. Visually I was thinking of modeling my take on Superman heavily after Hugo from Street Fighter and his inspiration Andre the Giant, to really emphasize the “circus strongman / freak wrestler” aspect of Superman’s inspiration, particularly in regards to how Hugo’s SFIII version strikes a really great balance in making Hugo ugly and both comedic and fearsome in battle, as well as lovable and even a little dopey (without being outright stupid, like his IV self) in his victory animations and endings.

He's still Superman, he still goes on fantastical adventures to help people, he's still a deeply loving and compassionate soul whose face beams with joy and affection and who's got wonderful eyes and a great smile. It's just that this smile has a couple of mismatched stick-out teeth or some missing ones, and he's got a crooked smile some people take as smug or malicious, he’s got a strongman’s gut instead of a bodybuilder’s abs, his nose is a little busted (maybe he’s had too many crash landings), and his hair is a little wild or greasy, and he doesn't exactly have very good people skills because of how others usually react to him and, y'know, he doesn't get the kind of publicity Superman would get despite doing ostensibly the same things. He’s not deformed, he’s incredibly intelligent and capable, but in comparison to how superheroes are usually allowed to look, he might as well be Bizarro in the public eye.

It becomes a running gag that people tend to assume some nearby fireman or cop was the one who rescued the hundred orphans out of a burning building single-handedly, meanwhile he's getting accosted off-panel by police officers who think he set the building on fire, or think they can bully this weird man dressed funny. He goes to rescue old people in peril and occasionally they yell at him that they don't have any money. He doesn't get asked to lead superhero meetings or teams even though many in the community advocate for just how much he does for the world, he gets censored out of tv broadcasts or group shots (even his face is sometimes pixelated when they do show him), people invite him on talk shows and don't really let him talk or assume they got the wrong guy. He goes to rescue a woman dangling off a building, and then he gets attacked by like three different superhero teams who assume he must have kidnapped the poor damsel. He was the first superhero, he is the strongest of them all still, but he never really gets credit for it, it nor does he even want to. None of this at all stops him or deters him, except for some occasionally funny reactions.

This never really changes for him, he doesn't really earn people's approval nor does he have to, instead the stories, outside of the gags and adventures you’d expect from a comic strip, veer more towards others learning to be less judgmental and him learning ways to better approach people. He isn't any lesser than Superman just because he doesn't look like most people would want him to look and he doesn't have to look like Superman. Really I think we could use more superheroes that don’t look all so uniformly pretty.

Again, probably not a take that would work for Clark proper, but it’s one way I would take a shot at doing Superman with my own

I have other stuff in the works for this character but I'd like to keep them to better work on them for now, but yeah, these are three of my shots at developing a Pulp Superman.

Alternatively here's a fourth idea that's more pulp than all of these: Join up Nicholas Cage with Panos Cosmatos again, or whatever weird indie director he decides to pair up with next, and let them do whatever the hell they want with Superman. Give us Mandy Superman. Superman vs The Color Out of Space. Superman vs Five Nights at Freddy's. Superman’s quest to find THE LAST PIG OF KRYPTON. Anything goes.

#replies tag #dc comics #superman #clark kent #superheroes #comic books #nicholas cage

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magdelen69 · 4 years ago

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The Meeting

I had just crossed the finish line of the Mini Marathon. I was glad that I had flown out from South Dakota. Indianapolis wasn’t my last stop on my trip. I was going to Jersey, the Island dependency of the UK. I was going to run in the Durrell Challenge. It’s a 13k, not as long as the Half Marathon I’d just run, but between the two races, I would be short 6 miles of running a full Marathon.

So after my shower, I checked out and called my Uber. I was on my way to the Indianapolis International Airport. I had my compression sleeves and socks. They were helping with the recovery by opening the circulation and getting the acid that comes with running 13.1 miles to go down.

My flight will get to London by way of a layover in New York. In London, I will need to take a taxi to the Ferry where I get on and go across the Channel to the Island. Then another Taxi to the Hotel. But fate had other plans.

I hate flying. When I say that I mean I haven’t flown in a plane since 1992 when I got out of the Army. I had to fly from Seoul, South Korea to San Francisco to my home town of Rapid City, South Dakota. I was also four months pregnant at the time. I’m also superstitious. If I have heard of a third plane crash, I’m not getting on the plane. I’m convinced death comes in threes. I’m going to be on that third plane when it goes down. I know its stupid Lol....

But to say I’m looking forward to this layover is an understatement. I booked myself a first-class ticket on British Airway A380. You get a Massage (and after the Half Marathon, this is much needed), Spa and British Airways own skincare used on you. Full wait service and a full meal with wine pairing. Bed service (hopefully they can wake me up).

I was looking at my phone, not paying attention, reading comments on my Social Media from my Back On My Feet Family when I tripped over my own two feet. When I looked over, I was staring at Kal Cavill, the scuba diving, feline chasing big bear and jungle pig himself. He was looking at me wondering what this human was doing on the floor at his level. He looked up at his Adonis and Hercules's looking owner, Henry, a question on his face (She’s one you)

Looking down and trying not to laugh, “Are you okay?”

“ Yeah, I do this all the time.” This was not how I wanted to get Henry’s attention but since I had it. I was going to with the flow of the moment.

“Thanks for checking. The last time I did something like this I broke my wrist. I was also 10 and I was playing soccer at the time. I mean Football that is what you call it in England right?”

“I’m impressed That you know that. I’m Henry Cavill.”

“I’m Leah and I know who are. I’ve been watching your career since you starred in The Tudors. I’ve seen most of your movies correction I own most of your movies.”

“Impressive. Which ones haven’t you seen, and why haven't you seen them?”

“That would be Hellraiser: Hellworld and Bloodcreek. Horror and I just don’t get along it’s my thing.”

“Would you like to join me? I was just about to eat a light meal and read my script.”

“I would love to, but I know that you don’t get a lot of time to yourself because of fans like myself. I don’t want to interrupt you or anything.”

“It’s because of my fans that I’m where I’m at. Besides, I asked you. It’s not like you fell on purpose. Or did you?”

“I will never tell..lol but no I didn't I was looking at my phone. (yawning) If I fall asleep will you wake me up? That massage really got me to relax.”

“Now I’m your alarm clock and you haven't even answered my question!”

“Oh My GOD! How did I forget that? I blame it on your handsomeness. Yes, I would love to join you.”

“Why are flying to England?”

“To meet you.”

“What? Wait..”

“Let me explain. I’m running in the Durrell Challenge. I signed up as a VIP. I raised enough funds to get to have breakfast with you and get the photo op.”

“You just run a Half Marathon and next week you’re going to run a 13k?”

“Yeah”

“Are you ..”

“Insane? I have my moments where I don’t think everything through. I figured this was the only way to meet and get a photo with you.”

“Why not go to Comic-Con?”

“That’s a lottery draw. I’m not guaranteed a ticket. This way I get to help endangered animals and run and meet you.”

“Why a week early? Why not fly out Thursday?”

“I want to acclimate to the weather. I want to see the Hills that some people have told me is killer.”

“You’re going to do some training before the race?”

“Yeah, just to familiarize myself with the course since you or Charlie wouldn't answer my question on Instagram. I had to fly out early.”

Later…

“Thank You for inviting me to join you for dinner, Mr. Cavill.”

“Leah, I told you, it’s Henry.”

“ I really can’t call you by your name.”

“We just spent an hour having dinner together. You can call by my name. I insist.”

“I enjoyed it. Is it alright if I pet King Kal?”

“Yes. He enjoys a head scratch now and then.”

“I’ll see you on the plane. Hopefully”

I move to gather up my stuff, making sure I have everything as I was getting tired from the days earlier race.

Henry could tell something was amiss.

“Leah, what’s wrong ?”

“I’m just tired from the race. My anxiety about flying is going into hyperdrive. I'm not big on flying. In fact, I haven’t flown since I was in the Army back in 1992.”

“You were in the Service?”

“Don’t look so surprised. I mean, I know I don't look like Gal Gadot, but I did just run 13.1 miles. I can hold my own. I can shoot pretty well, you know.”

“I didn’t mean to offend. You just don't look like the type.”

“I get that all the time.” Yawning one more time. “I know that I am going to pass out in my seat.”

“I’ll wake you up when the plane gets to London. How are you getting to Jersey?”

“I’m taking a taxi to the Ferry, then another Taxi to the Hotel in Jersey.”

“ You really have this all planned out, didn't you?”

“ Yeah, all except for meeting you in New York. That kind of threw a kink into all my plans. But it was a good thing because I probably would have skipped dinner and wine. But you didn't get to look over your script.”

“With the way you're yawning. I'll get to look over it while the plane is flying. It is a seven and a half hour flight.”

“ Oh great, that means I can sleep. If we crash Superman will save me… Right?”

“ Now you’re being cheeky”

“You mean just like you were when you were when you were on Fallon?”

Talking on the way to the gate, I make sure I have my boarding pass out so that the flight attendants can see it.

Henry looks at it and sees that it's right beside where he and Kal are gonna be, that way he can wake me when we land.

After the seven and a half hour flight, Henry leans over and wakes me up.

“Hey, beautiful wake up.”

“No, I don’t want to, Mom. I was having a great dream.”

“ Hey, beautiful wake up. This is Superman. I'm here to save you.”

“Shit. we’ve crashed.”

“So you are awake.”

“Yeah I heard the Captain say chairs in the Upright position”

“ Did you have to call me Mom?”

“ Well, I could’ve called you Dad, but you get called that all the time on the internet.”

“You’ve seen that.”

“More like I’ve watched the Thirst Video.”

“Are any of those-”

“Those are my questions. I'm not saying nor am I going to admit anything.”

“Did you get to read your script?”

“Yes and No. There was an angel sleeping beside me who kept whimpering. Kal went over

several times to make sure you were okay.”

Blushing a little bit. “I’m so so sorry. Everyone says I do that. I told you I hate to fly”

Looking up at Henry to make sure it was ok to touch Kal. “Thank You for checking on me. I owe you a flavored bone the next time I see you. If that is ok with you, of course.”

“I don’t see why it wouldn't be Ok”

As we make our way off the plane and down towards the carousel where we pick up our luggage I see my black luggage. Henry was standing just a few feet away and grabbed the same luggage but when I looked at the tag on the one I had in my hand. It said Henry Cavill. This can't be happening to me. Why does fate want to embarrass me in front of God and everyone?

“Excuse me, Henry, your luggage looks like mine and I took it from the carousel by mistake.”

“I think you just wanted another way to talk to me again.” Smiling with a mischievous look in his eye. “Leah, why don't you save your money and get into the car with me? I'll take you to Jersey.”

This is for the writing challenge that @cavillanche posted.

Synopsis: This story is pure fluff.

personal note I tag a few of you because all of you inspired me to write it. I missed a few @sciapod@adorkbeezle

feedback is welcomed. remember first one. Thank to my editor @ hollydaisy23.

#@cavillanche @littlefreya@alyxkbrl@oddsendsfanfics@hollydaisy23

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thetierdslytherin · 4 years ago

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Its nice to have a friend Spencer Reid x reader

So this is a Spencer Reid song fic based on its nice to have a friend by Taylor swift. and I saw someone else to a songfic based on this song for another character and i felt inspired. there’s mention of bullying and divorce but other than that just a fluffy fic.

Mostly gender neutral reader x Spencer but at one point the reader wears a dress

School bell rings, walk me home

Sidewalk chalk covered in snow

Lost my gloves, you give me one

"Wanna hang out?"

School was finally over as the bell rang signaling the end of the day my teacher said something but I didn't hear her. No, I'm too excited to get home. It's the first day of winter break and I couldn't be more excited. I didn't really see the point of kindergarten and most of the kids are mean.

Anyways my mommy lets me walk home by myself alot of the bigger kids do and it's only a 10 minute walk to my house. I finally stop running just outside of the school yard where a lot of the kids color and draw on the sidewalk too icy to do it now which reminds me i'm not supposed to run because I could get hurt.

As I look up to continue my walk home I see a kinda frail looking boy with crooked teeth and glasses too big for his face, ah Spencer he's not in my class with me but I know him cause a lot of the kids tease him and hide his stuff. I don't really know why but my parents say if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. Besides, I don't know why they do it all he really does is sit by himself and read.

He doesn't have any gloves on or a hat and it's snowing and I'm cold with my gloves and coat so I know he is too, maybe he doesn't have any. It's not really common to snow in Las Vegas but it's probably because the kids hid them from him. I run up to catch up with him. It's not that hard, he's not exactly moving fast, he doesn't seem really excited to get home, maybe he doesn't have anything to do.

“Here take one of mine” I hold out one of my gloves to him so at least only one of his hands will be cold. He looks at me like he's expecting me to tease him or snatch the glove away at the last second but I guess he deems me trust worthy enough and takes it putting it on his furthest hand.

“t-thanks i’m s-spencer”

“I know i’m y/n you lost your gloves right?” I know the kids took them but I don't want him to feel any worse about it.

“Yeah I did thanks” he still looks really cold so I grab his hand closest to me and try to interlock our fingers so both his hands will be warm. He kinda flinches at first but then seems to accept that I'm not gonna hurt him.

“So you won't be cold Spencer”

We walk for maybe a minute in silence before I get another idea

“Wanna hang out?”

Video games, you pass me a note

Sleeping in tents

It's nice to have a friend

(Ooh)

It's nice to have a friend

(Ooh)

I'm now i'm second grade and Spencer is in third and ever since that day we've been best friends and do practically everything together and this is the first year without him in my grade and I miss him a lot but we still hang out everyday after school.

“C’mon Spencer it won't be bad I promise my parents are right inside and if you want to go you can but could you please try it”.

I'm referring to spending the night in a tent in my backyard.Sleepovers were a common thing for Spencer and I especially with his dad having left I think that's why he likes being over so much it lets him forget for a little while.Earlier this week I learned Spencer had never been camping due to his thing with germs but after a lot of begging and secret planning on my part he agreed “okay y/n but if I don't like it we can go in?”

I nod happily and lead him to the backyard where everyday after school I've been cleaning it and setting up a campsite in the cleanest way possible. “Did you know that 77 million american households contain a member that camps and 81% of households in America say they want to camp more?”

“No, I didn't Spence, do you have any more statistics about camping for me?’ this is one thing I love about him he can tell you something about any subject you ask him it's because of his Eidetic memory.He found out he had last year and its super cool he can remember and fact I wish I had his memory some times.

I open the tent to reveal an air mattress with a bunch of blankets and some comic books my mommy bought earlier. It's not the big books like he likes to read but it's Marvel comics that I introduced him to a few months ago and we've been reading them together ever since.

“w-wow y/n this is so cool, did you know the hulk was supposed to be grey in the original comics but was changed to green after a mess up with printer ink?”

“No but i'd love to hear more comic facts”

He deserves someone to listen to him after everything with his parents and all the kids at school bullying him. I don't want him to ever feel alone.

Light pink sky up on the roof

Sun sinks down, no curfew

Twenty questions, we tell the truth

You've been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too

Something gave you the nerve

To touch my hand

It's amazing how two people who are in such different places in their lives can still love each other so much while Spencer is the only 16 year old I know with 2 phds working on another i'm still in highschool. Not from lack of hard work though i’m graduating this year 2 years early so I can go to cal tech to be with Spencer. If i'm being perfectly honest if not for Spencer I wouldn't be graduating early but I miss him too much to stay any longer. I'm sick of highschool boyfriends and football games and dealing with the same kids who bullied Spencer for being a nerd acting like we’re best friends just because I made nice with them.

Right now were on the roof of my house after a lot of convincing on my part to get him out here

“Why are we out here y/n do you know how many roof related accidents happen a year?”

“No but I'm sure you do dr.” I think my favorite pastime of recent is teasing Spencer.

He's saying something to me as I nod along but I'm not paying attention to what he's saying. No, I'm too busy staring at him.

He's really grown into his features he still has a boyish look about him but now his jawline is very defined and his brown hair goes just past his hair curling at the ends after a long day of hanging out the gel has worn out making his hair as messy as ever and he’s traded his glasses for contacts but i still think he looks for lack of better word beautiful either way. I know I love him, I've loved him since the first day I met him and over the years at one point I guess the feelings went from platonic to romantic but I don’t tell him. I don't have to I know i'll spend the rest of my life with Spencer Reid

“y/n y/n hello”

“Hmm, what were you saying Spence?”

“I-i’m sorry am i boring you y/n?” the worst part is he's not mad about it he looks upset like he feels bad for boring me.

“No never, i'm sorry I was just thinking”

“About what?”

“You” why did I say that but it's fine it has to be Spencer won't care but I don't want to see his reaction to my words instead focusing on the pink orange sky

“You know I love you right that i'll always love you”

I feel him grasp my hand interlocking our fingers and I let out a quiet gasp-but he heard it. We've only held hands twice our whole lives the first day I met him and after the goal post incident so this is well, completely out of character for him and our friendship.

“I love you too y/n”

Church bells ring, carry me home

Rice on the ground looks like snow

Call my bluff, call you "babe"

Have my back, yeah, everyday

Feels like home, stay in bed

The whole weekend

They call us stupid-young and dumb-that well be divorced in 10 years but we love each other and known each other our whole lives hes just been accepted into the BAU at 20 he has to move to Quantico. I'm gonna go with him I can get a job i've finished my degree there's nothing keeping me here.

“Let's get married”

“What?” it's rare that I make him speechless but this seems to do the trick.

“Why don't I love you and you love me. We've been dating for how many years now 4? I want to spend the rest of my life with you i've known that I wanted you in my life since that first day on the sidewalk I want to grow old with you and have kids and grand kids so why wait let's get married” I look up at him silently pleading with him to just agree with me.

“y/n 45% of marriages end in divorce and 20% of couples under 24 get divorced in the first year of marriage”. He’s cautious I don't blame him not after what happened with his mom and dad.

“Well this is one time i'm going to ask you not to trust the statistics. I may not know all the facts about marriage and life but i know us and i'd like to think that's enough. I don't want anything big just us we can go down to the courthouse and make it official”

He moves over to the couch where i'm sitting and grabs my hand “yes”

It wasn't anything big, him in the only suit he owns and me in a dime store wedding dress. The rings we have are cheap and the diamond in my hand may have been small but it means everything to me.

We didn't even tell our parents why his mom is institutionalized, his dad left and my parents don't approve of me leaving for Quantico instead its Spencer and I with 5 of our college friends. We both walk out of the courthouse as they throw rice at us-unnecessary but sweet of them-and get into his car driving off to go home. We aren't having a honeymoon unless you count moving to Quantico.

He picks me up and carries me through the threshold of the apartment as he sets me down I ask “can we do our vows I know we both agreed not to prepare anything don't worry I didn’t I just want to tell you some things and you don't even have to say anything back I just need to say it. Spencer I just want you to know how incredibly proud I am of you and all you’ve acomplised and overcome even the first time I saw you I could tell we were gonna be friends.I am just so thankful to have you here right now and for sticking with me through all of the chess matches and late night adventure and stupid boyfriends and what I guess i’m trying to say is thank you for always being you I love you.”

I look at him with tears in my eyes and with tears in his eyes too and he clears his throat “ y/n I will never be able to express how you have helped me over the years from school yard bullies to cal tech and my mom.And I know i'm not the best with words i'm better with analysis and fact but there is no fact or statistic that will let me describe how i'm love with you I am” I put one hand on the side of his face and pull him in for a kiss.

It's nice to have a friend

(Ooh)

It's nice to have a friend

(Ooh)

It's nice to have a friend

(Ooh)

#spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #childhood friends #comfort

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zacharyleigh316 · 5 years ago

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Radio Silence

Here’s a little Destiel (au) ficlet inspired by this post. I wasn’t initially sure whether I was going to make this or not (due to lack of motivation, etc.) but here it is! So @mychemicalobsession514 and @fandomtrash2405 this one is for you. Hope you enjoy!

Dean loved being a cop. It was everything he hoped it would be and then some. There wasn’t one thing he hated about his job; he got to protect people, save lives, uphold the law (most of the time), and work with amazing professionals, most of whom did what he did for the same reasons, all while putting the bad people away. Being a cop made him feel good. Knowing that what he was doing everyday, what he was getting paid to do everyday, but more importantly what he chose to do everyday, made a difference in the world, was extremely fulfilling. Even if only slightly, and the world was better off for it? So yeah, he loved his job.

Though, given the most recent events, he might have to re-evaluate that statement.

“Mornin’ brotha’.” Came Benny’s Louisiana drawl from the coffee station. “Chief wants to see you, in his office when you get the chance.”

Dean nodded, making himself a cup of coffee, black, as usual. (Even though he didn’t quite understand why any of the officers continued to get their coffee from the station, including him, seeing as it tasted like absolute shit all the time.)

He looked over to his partner and raised a brow, Benny looking like the cat who caught the freakin’ canary, “What’s got you lookin’ all smug? I’m not getting reassigned are something, am I?”

“Oh no, nothin’ like that Dean. Besides, that wouldn’t be desirable for any of us.”

“Okay, but that still doesn’t explain why you got that stupid look on your face.” Benny just chuckled, tossing his empty cup into the trash.

He slapped Dean on the shoulder when he passed, and paused, meeting his eyes with a shit eating grin. “Just wanted you to know that I love you too brotha.”

Dean brows furrowed in confusion, watching Benny’s retreating back just as clueless as before. Not that he minded Benny’s terms of endearment; the guy was not only his partner but basically his best friend. He was comfortable enough with himself and his sexuality to actually quite enjoy being affectionate with his friends. So it wasn’t as if that was the weird part.

No, what was weird was all the smirking and the chuckling, as if Benny was enjoying some one-sided inside joke that only he was privy to. In fact, now that he thought about it, everybody else was being weird too.

Dean winced at the piss poor excuse for coffee when he took a sip, and made his way over to Chief Singer’s office. He was just about to knock on the door when it suddenly swung open, and Dean was being accosted by one of Garth’s hugs.

“I love you too Dean. Never forget that. I know I won’t. It made my day. Thank you.” Garth gave Dean a squeeze before pulling away, the latter more confused then ever.

Garth held onto Dean’s shoulders for a moment after the hug, just smiling at him, and though he admit he didn’t mind open affection, Garth had this way over overstepping boundaries that sometimes Dean wasn’t aware of.

“Uh, Garth, buddy? Mind stepping back now?”

“Of course Dean. You’re a good man.” He nodded, more so to himself than to Dean, and walked away with a skip in his step.

Dean shook his head and knocked on the doorway, stepping into the office at Bobby’s gruff, mumbled “come in”.

“What a weird guy.” He said in disbelief, chuckling at Bobby’s snort of affirmation.

“Anyway, you said you wanted to see me?”

“I did. Take a seat boy, we gotta talk.”

Dread immediately consumed Dean, his head already rapidly flitting through a million ways to say sorry about hundreds of possible scenarios of shit that he may or may not have done, when Bobby rolled his eyes.

“You can stop that right now, ya’ idjit, you’re not in trouble or anything.” He relaxed, and the Chief shook his head.

“Remember, you can’t hide nothin’ from me boy, I may be your boss, but I’m also like your daddy.” Dean raised a brow, curious as to where this was going.

“With that being said, I hope you know that even though I don’t say it as often as I probably should, I do love you. You and your brother.”

“Me more though right?” Bobby shot him an unimpressed look.

“Right sorry, I love you too, and all that. But seriously Bobby, where is all this coming from? Not that knowing everybody here loves me is a bad thing, but why are you all saying it all of the sudden?”

“You tellin’ me that you don’t know?” Dean shook his head.

“Obviously not. I wouldn’t have asked you if I did, old man.”

“Watch yourself boy,” Chief Singer said fondly, “I’m not against hitting you. That or firin’ your ass.”

“Yeah yeah. Both you and I know you’re just talk.” He smirked at Bobby’s responding huff, and leaned back against his chair.

“So you were saying?”

“Right. I don’t know what the hell you’re doing when this happens, but your radio codes in from time to time, before you come in, and you’re always saying that you love us.”

Dean both paled and somehow colored simultaneously. “Wh-what?”

“Which is why I was saying earlier, or attempting to say rather, that I uh...love you too of course, but the radio ain’t for that, son.”

“Oh my god.”

“What? You look like your trying to pass a kidney stone.”

“Are you freaking serious? You gotta be joking with me, right?”

“Why in the hell would I joke about something like that?” The Chief glared, at Dean, who ran a hand through his hair, and dragged it down his face.

“You okay? It ain’t that big of a deal, Dean. That’s why I’m letting you know now.”

“Oh my god.”

“There something you wanna say?”

“Even if there was, Bobby, I’m too humiliated and embarrassed to even...god, I’m a dumb ass.”

“Okay, well, I’m sure that it ain’t that bad. You have a tendency to over exaggerate, princess.”

“Oh no, Bobby, I’m pretty sure it is that bad. I mean, how is radioing ‘I love you’ out to the whole precinct not that bad? This takes the cake on just the level of bad it is.

“At least this explains why everyone was being spontaneously openly affectionate today.” Dean sighed, burying his face in his hands.

“Minus Garth. He’s always like that.”

Bobby chuckled, “I’m gonna take a gander and say, judging by your reaction, that this wasn’t intentional.”

“Christ, of course it wasn’t!” Dean flailed. “I wouldn’t friggin use my radio for that! Hell, I probably wouldn’t even say it in person unless they said it first.”

“Well, you seem to know exactly why this has been happening.” Bobby raised a brow. “Do you?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Care to explain?” Bobby prompted, when Dean didn’t elaborate.

“Not really no.”

“Fine then, you’re dismissed. Keep your secrets boy. I’ll find them out eventually. And just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Sure thing, sir.”

With that, and a nod from the chief, Dean left Bobby’s office and went to work, which, to no surprise (Dean was very rarely ever that lucky), sought out to personally torture him for the entirety of the day.

Officer Jody Mills and her partner Officer Donna Hanscum called in during lunchtime to profess their love for him, which okay maybe wasn’t so bad, because he did love them back, enjoyed their company immensely, and thought of them as surrogate mothers. Then Charlie, the computer tech, and regretfully also one of his best friends, personally came to his desk, dragging the other tech, Kevin, along, to talk about LARPing, and comics, and game night, and just as Dean relaxed, when they got off their break, the redheaded monster that was his Queen expressed her strong platonic love for him, letting him know he was safe from no one.

When the day was finally over (it hadn’t even been that exhausting, but when every single person you work with takes the time out of their own day to tease you because of one little colossal mistake—that you may or not have made—it begins to take its toll on you) Dean couldn’t wait to get home. He was starting to regret not only his choice of career, but also ever being excited to work with his friends.

He packed up quickly and clocked out, letting out a sigh at the prospect of home. Though, of course the day wouldn’t be over without one final ‘I love you’ from another coworker.

“Didn’t want to you leave with saying I love you, man. Stay safe out there, honey.” Dean snorted, snapping a glare at Detective Henriksen.

“Very funny, Victor. Go fuck yourself.” Victor laughed, and Dean flipped him off on his way out, making the detective laugh harder.

“Whatever you say, darling!”

Dean rushed out of the police station, never more grateful to see his beloved impala waiting for him in the parking lot. At least she couldn’t tell him she loved him, thought he didn’t mind that it was certainly implied.

Yeah, he hated work.

Dean pulled into the doorway shortly after, ready to put the whole day behind him, forget about it all with a nice, cold beer and some television.

He pat Baby’s hood as he got out, and gave the same treatment to the golden Lincoln Continental parked beside her, when he passed it on the way to the front door.

“Dean.” Cas peeked his head out of his office with a smile on his face, and met Dean at the door.

“You’re home, how was work?” He went in for a hug, before being stopped by Dean’s hand on his chest.

His brows furrowed, and watched questioningly as Dean went and switched his radio off.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, s’fine. Just, the last time we hugged, your shoulder must of hit my radio and it called dispatch.” Cas’ eyes widened in surprise.

“So basically the entire precinct, meaning every officer on duty, heard me say I love you when I left the other day. I didn’t even know until I got into work this morning, and everybody started tell me they loved me.”

Castiel’s eyes widened further before a smile broke out onto his face again, and he started laughing.

“Yeah, laugh it up sweetheart. But I would be nice to the person who cooks for you and makes sure you eat.”

“I’m sorry Dean. Work must of been interesting.”

“Tell me about it. So now whenever we hug, I’m going to make sure my radio is off. Who knows what else they may have heard.” His boyfriend rolled his eyes and opened his arms expectantly.

“Well now that it is, may I get my hug now, you drama queen?” Dean snorted, choosing not to think about how Cas sounded both like his brother and Bobby just then, and instead gathered him up into his arms for a hug.

Dean gave Castiel a squeeze, and pulled away slightly, smiling down at his boyfriend. “You’re so needy. Like a pet.”

“Mm, love you too.” Dean chuckled, and joined their lips, bringing Cas closer by his hips.

He hums into Dean’s mouth, and reaches up to cup his face in his hands. (Yeah, Dean prays to anything and anyone who’ll listen that his work buddies didn’t hear something like this).

And then, of course, (once again showing just how unlucky he was) his phone decided to ring, making Cas pull away. Dean whined, and pulled his phone from his back pocket, answering it in the hopes he could will the person who called to hang right back up, just by the sheer amount of glaring at it he did. Cas rolled his eyes, but hey, Dean really didn’t feel like being interrupted at the moment.

“What?” He snapped, holding the phone up to his ear. “This better be pretty friggin’ important Sammy. You better be dying or some shit, or I’m gonna kill you myself, bitch.”

“Jeez, Bobby said you would be home, jerk, so I assumed you wouldn’t be busy. I wanted to call you now rather than later. Guess I was wrong.”

“Yeah, you were wrong, now what do you want?”

“Just wanted to jump on the bandwagon, and send you some appreciation is all Dean, relax.” He could hear Sam’s bitch face through the phone.

“What?”

“Well you’re my brother, and you’ve done a lot...you do a lot, yet I don’t say this often when I probably should so I-“

“No. Nope. You were not just about to tell me you loved me!” Cas chuckled silently to himself, and smirked up at Dean, who was having another meltdown.

“Wha-Dean what’s so bad-“

“No Sammy. Do not say that to me! Seriously dude, I’m freakin serious. After all the people telling me that today, I don’t want to hear another person say those words in the context of me for a week! Actually make that two.”

“Christ alright. No need to be so anal about it. I guess I’ll talk to you later then.” Dean sighed, and visibly relaxed, ignoring his boyfriend smug expression.

“That goes for you too you ass hat.”

Castiel snorted, now ignoring Dean. “Bye Sam!”

“Bye Cas.” Dean glared at their easy rapport, as if nothing was wrong. “Tell Dean to stop being grumpy.”

“Will do.”

“Well he’s still right here, and currently wishing his Sasquatch of a brother would hang up already.”

“Whatever you say, Dean. Love you!” Sam hung up quickly after that, leaving Dean to stare at his phone dumbfounded.

“Son of a bitch!”

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hannah-deactivated20220725 · 4 years ago

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Poker Face

I got this idea from a post that I saw on here by @trickypinetree. The comic strip was so adorable that I just had to write about it but with my characters instead of the ones from the comic.

Words: 845

Characters: Kyle & [Jarred]

Genre: fluff/gambling

Situation: Kyle’s stuck half in human form, half in wolf form... Jarred suggests that they play poker ;)

Inspiration (ask to be added or removed): https://hannahs-creations.tumblr.com/post/621464105532981248/trickypinetree-poker-tail-prompt-by-anon-who

Taglist: @dczwrites @magic-is-something-we-create @jade-island-lives @dawnoftheagez

Kyle had been struggling for a few hours now to get his form back into his large, looming human form, but no matter how hard he tried to return back to normal - to either form but just pick a form, body - his body fought back by remaining in human form with a black wolf tail and ears.

As he entered the room with Jarred, arms crossed in obvious annoyance and a frown on his face and eyes narrowed, his ears twitched. Jarred took one look at him and let out a little giggle.

“Ky, why are you like that?” He asked, tone full of amusement. Kyle’s eyes shot a look toward his husband that made it clear how unamused he was by the situation.

“This is stupid,” he complained. “I should be able to change form as I please! Why am I stuck like this?” Jarred made his way to his big husband, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“I rather like it, Ky. You’re very cute like this.” Kyle’s eyes shot back toward Jarred’s at the word cute, looking pissed off at the compliment.

“Cute? I’m cute like this?” He snapped in return, making Jarred snicker into his palm, trying to keep a straight face but finding it difficult to do.

“Yes, Kyle. You’re cute. I am your husband. I find you cute.”

“Sexy,” Kyle corrected in a grunt, making the grin on Jarred’s lips spread wider.

“Yes, sexy too but in this form, you’re mostly cute.” Kyle’s wolf ears twitched again as his eyes showed the effort he was putting into trying to change back once again. Jarred put a hand on his back and led him to the couch.

“Relax, Ky. Come on, let’s play a game, get your mind off of it. Maybe you’re just trying too hard.” Kyle grunted again, this time purely out of annoyance as he let Jarred push him to sit. As Jarred sat on his lap, he wrapped his arms around him and rested his lips against his shoulder.

“What game?” He asked, voice muffled by Jarred’s shoulder. This made the vampire smile.

“Let’s play poker!” He offered innocently. “We hardly ever play card games anymore.” Kyle’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, though he couldn’t help the slight twitch in his tail, which told Jarred he secretly enjoyed the idea of playing a betting game with his husband.

“Strip poker?” Kyle asked innocently, smirking now. Obviously all of his irritation from earlier was already melting away at the feeling of Jarred’s weight in his lap.

“Hmm, let’s make it more fun. Bet for money,” Jarred threw out innocently. Kyle’s eyes narrowed again.

“Money is more fun than being nude together?” Kyle asked, lifting an eyebrow. Jarred giggled at that.

“You’re right. More fun was the wrong way to say it. Let’s do something different.” Kyle was eyeing him suspiciously again and the innocent grin Jarred gave him only made him more suspicious but any excuse to spend time with Jarred sounded… well, great.

“Alright,” he finally relented. “Go get the cards.”

It was silent. Tensely silent.

“I’m grabbing two cards,” Kyle announced, throwing a couple cards in the pile in the middle of the table. Jarred watched him closely as he lifted two cards from the pile that was face-down in the middle of the table. Even from the other side of the table, Jarred could see the ever-so-slight twitch of Kyle’s tail. But what gave him away was the way his ears shot forward, even as his eyes and mouth remained impassive. Jarred studied him closely before tossing the cards on the table.

“I fold,” he told Kyle, smiling slightly. Kyle’s eyes narrowed.

“Cheater,” he accused.

“What? How am I cheating?” Jarred asked, though he knew exactly what Kyle was talking about.

“This is why you wanted to play now, isn’t it? Because my wolf parts give me away!” Jarred snickered again, though he quickly went back to having a straight face.

“No, not at all. I’d never do that,” he lied smoothly. Kyle’s eyes narrowed further as he tossed the cards on the table. An ace-high straight flush. Kyle’s eyes stared his husband down as he crossed his arms, looking annoyed. Jarred gathered up the cards for the next round. Crisis averted.

In the end, Jarred ended up winning. A lot of money. Since they both were well-off (and married), they had no problems just tossing money in the middle to bet. Jarred ended up winning almost a thousand dollars. As he grinned at Kyle, who looked annoyed and dejected, a grin spread across his face.

“Come on, Ky. Get dressed-”

“I am dressed,” Kyle growled in annoyance.

“I mean get dressed like we’re going out. I’m taking you on a nice date,” Jarred amended, again looking amused at his husband’s annoyance. “I’m using the date money to do something nice together.” Kyle looked surprised but quickly smiled.

“Alright. I’ll be right back,” he said simply and disappeared to teleport to their bedroom to get changed.

#my writing #ky #kyle #kyle eisenhower #my ocs #creative writing #short story #flash fiction #fluff #my couples #kyle's wolf form

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thecaroliner · 6 years ago

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That awful CBR Kataang article

I don’t normally do metas but this was so bad I had to respond. I think I actually had a stroke reading it

1. She shouldn’t teach him waterbending

At the beginning of the series, Katara was a waterbending novice, barely capable of maintaining a feeble orb of water in midair. As she traveled with Aang, they grew as waterbenders simultaneously, each growing through their journey to the north pole where they were taught by the same teacher.

After that, Katara assumed the duty of Aang’s waterbending tutor, which doesn’t really make sense considering that they should both be at the same approximate place in their training. In fact, Aang was shown to be more naturally adept at waterbending and capable of picking up the techniques easier.

So, like, did you completely miss the episode where Katara is shown to have advanced more than Pakku’s other students who have been training for months or maybe even years at this point? Yeah it’s a little weird considering that she’s only been there about a month, but Katara is just really, REALLY good at waterbending once she had a proper teacher. And yes Aang did pick it up really quickly but we also see in said episode he was lounging around playing with Momo rather than practicing, unlike Katara who it seemed like practiced hours each day.

2. They did their best work separated

Both Aang and Katara were intensely powerful benders who accomplished many amazing feats through their powers. However, it’s interesting to note that their most formidable feats were accomplished by themselves and separate from one another. Katara learned her most powerful techniques, bloodbending and water healing, completely without Aang’s aide. And the amount of incredible things Aang accomplished without her are immeasurable.

For starters, he was able to embody the spirit of the ocean, beat Fire Lord Ozai, and impressed the last dragons. In fact, he had to intentionally abandon her to attain his highest form and gain control of the Avatar State, pretty much definitively proving that they are more powerful when separated.

....What does this have to do with anything. Like, seriously, anything. Should they not be amazing, powerful benders unless the other is there to help them?? I genuinely don’t understand the point you’re trying to make here. Also do you not know how the Avatar state works?

3. The Cave of Two Lovers

One of the defining moments in Aang and Katara’s romance was the episode “The Cave of Two Lovers.” In it, Aang and Katara are separated from everyone else in a system of caves on the way to the city of Omashu.

The romantic nature of the story inspires Aang to hint his true feelings to Katara and, after some rom-com levels of shenaniganry, the two almost kiss for the first time as their light goes out. Without the light, however, the pathway of glowing crystals becomes clear and the two are able to escape. The episode is generally never brought up, both in discussion and the show’s lore, because it is, for lack of a better word, cringy.

Great argument, just explain what happened in the episode and then don’t explain why it’s bad or weird

4. Political Disagreements

Their biggest obstacle came in the comics, where they came within moments of splitting up over political disagreements. Specifically, their fight was over the Harmony Restoration Movement, which attempted to remove Fire Nation colonies following the end of the war. After Zuko had a change of heart and wanted to keep the older colonies in place, Katara agreed with him.

Aang was initially of the mind that all Fire Nation presence in the Earth Kingdom needed to be removed to ensure peace. Their conflict came to the point of violence when Katara had to talk Aang down from the Avatar State to prevent him from ending Zuko.

Again you just explained what happened and not why it was bad

5. Aang’s grandkids are better without him

There’s clear evidence that Aang and Katara weren’t the best parents, as evidenced by the emotional and psychological hang-ups of their kids, but the most telling proof that they weren’t fit to raise kids is how their grandkids turned out. Given that Aang never met them, Tenzin’s kids were never directly influenced by their grandfather and they were all nearly ideal children. Sure Ikki and Meelo are hyperactive, but they’re kids and are shown to mature somewhat with age while retaining their energetic personalities.

Free from Aang’s influence, Jinora even becomes a more powerful spiritual advisor than her father, who was so burdened with Aang’s pressure that he was never able to fully embrace his spiritual side.

Um, WHAT? Are you freaking serious right now? Of course we gotta go with the dumb “Aang was a bad dad” argument, AGAIN, which obviously was blown way outta proportion. But I can’t believe you’d actually say that they are better off not knowing him

6. They both have PTSD

While to romance between Aang and Katara is often framed as being between two kindred souls who knew from childhood that they were meant to be together, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Even from the first moments they met each other, both exhibited acute symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder.

Katara’s maternal instincts are likely derived from witnessing her mother’s demise and the prospect of vengeance. Aang had a tendency to misdirect, project, and avoid his issues over abandoning his culture and being lost in time. He also demonstrated a consistent lack in ability to process his anger, often snapping and yelling at his comrades over his perception of their failures.

ONCE AGAIN. WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING. Also, are you literally implying that PTSD victims shouldn’t be in a relationship? ok

7. Aang kept her from seeing her dad

In one of the most despised episodes of the entire series, “Bato of the Water Tribe,” also featured a moment that probably should have destroyed Katara and Aang’s relationship. In the episode, Aang intercepts a letter that would provide Katara and her brother information on where their father, who they haven’t seen for three years, might be stationed and give them a chance to see him. Worried that they might abandon him, however, Aang hides the letter from them.

Katara’s father was at war and could have died at any time. If Aang had prevented the water tribe siblings from seeing their father, there’s no guarantee that they would have ever seen him again.

This is as close to a legitimate point as this article gets. But I guess they’re forgetting how Aang felt guilty about it and how neither Katara nor Sokka took it lightly and it took a while for them to forgive him.

8. They gave their kids inadequacy issues

If there’s one thing that could be gleaned from the Legend of Korra spin-off series, it’s that Aang and Katara weren’t the best parents. The oldest, Bumi, was born a non-bender and even in what appear to be his mid-50s, and after an illustrious military career, was still dealing with the inadequacy issues imparted by his father who always wanted an airbending child.

His sister Kya was so affected by her parents’ pressures that she spent several years traveling the world by herself before being forced to return to the south pole to take care of her co-dependent mother. Tenzin, the only airbending child was denied a childhood by his father hoisting the burden of an entire culture on his young shoulders.

Nothing in the show implies Kya was forced to come back and live with Katara. Katara was an elderly woman, devastated by the loss of her husband of 50+ years. My grandpa died many years ago, and if we hadn’t already lived in the same town as them, my family would’ve definitely moved up there to be with my grandma who was all alone. Taking care of your family is bad, I guess.

9. Their relationship got worse in the comics

The romance between Katara and Aang was a slow build on the show, developing infrequently from beginning to end. After the show ended, the generally laudable comic series took over the narrative and fumbled their relationship worse than a clumsy wide receiver. After affirming their relationship, the series depended entirely on an unfair dynamic between the two.

Katara was jealous of Aang constantly flirting with other girls closer to his own age, Aang bragged about being able to kiss her to everyone who would listen, and neither could think of a better pet name than “sweetie.” Overall, their romance just sort of went on automatic in the comics.

Show me ONE TIME where Aang flirted with other girls. Being friends with other girls is not flirting with them. Aang only mentioned being able to kiss her ONCE, and it wasn’t in front of close friends. He didn’t freaking go out in the middle of a crowd and go “HEY EVERYONE LOOK I CAN KISS KATARA”

10. Their kiss at the end was weird

The only time when Katara and Aang’s romantic relationship really picked up steam was in the final season of the show, culminating in the final scene of the original series where the two finally share a reciprocated kiss. As romantic as the tone was, it was offset somewhat by the atmosphere between the two leading up to that moment.

Mere episodes earlier, with the looming threat of genocide, death, and continued global war hanging ever-present over their heads, Katara was still uncertain and upset over Aang’s advances and made that abundantly clear to him.

Whoa, Katara took time to think about her feelings before jumping into a relationship?? Wow, how stupid of her.

11. They worked better as friends

The Kataang relationship was present throughout much of the series, but was only addressed and developed a few times at sporadic intervals. For the vast majority of the series, their relationship was one of matriarch and dependent. Aang needed Katara to keep him humble and focused while Katara’s motherly nature made her want to keep Aang safe.

Put bluntly, they were friends and their relationship worked well in that regard. But whenever romance was forcibly inserted into the equation, Katara began questioning how she felt about Aang and stated openly that she was uncomfortable with his affections. I.E. red flags that they probably should just stay friends.

Man, how dare Katara and Aang have a solid friendship before being romantically involved!!!!!!! You’re not supposed to be FRIENDS with your significant other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12. The age difference

Though Aang is technically over 100 years old, he’s biologically only 12. And though Katara herself is only 14 at the start of the series, the gulf between a 12-year-old and a 14-year-old is far greater than that between a 30-year-old and 32-year-old.

Despite having moments of genuine sage wisdom, Aang’s everyday behavior is more on par with an 8-year-old than anyone in his actual age bracket. This might not be his fault as his isolated, holistic upbringing instilled in him a strong sense of detachment, which might have prompted some of his more selfish actions, but even the most mature 12-year-old should not be making out with someone two years older.

I am forever baffled by y’all thinking that someone with a fun-loving, carefree personality is childish. When you get to a certain age are you supposed to stop having fun?? Stop telling jokes??? What a miserable life that would be

13. It was a one-sided relationship

When Aang was freed from the iceberg he’d been trapped in for the past hundred years, his first instinct was to fall head over heels in love with Katara. However, she didn’t see things the same way for quite some time. In fact, during the entire series, their romance was viewed through Aang’s lens with little to no input from Katara’s opinions on the matter.

In fact, she made it obliquely clear from the beginning of the series that she saw Aang more as a little brother or pseudo-child rather than a potential love interest, a view that didn’t change until very late. And even then, she was more embarrassed and confused by Aang’s affections than reciprocal.

Yeah, because relationships in real life are always 100% mutual from the beginning, and one person is never interested before the other is. That NEVER happens.

14. Their romance was unnecessary

While they were one of the primary pairs of the show, Katara and Aang’s relationship was only focused on in a handful of episodes in the original show’s three-season run. And those episodes tended to be considered weaker or filler between more significant arcs. Overall, their ship was not integral to the narrative of the show, both figuratively and thematically. You could remove all the Kataang content from the show and it wouldn’t change anything.

It wouldn’t even effect the series’ general quality, only improve it slightly. This might have been an issue in the writing staff as central breeding pairs are a trope in most shows, animated or otherwise. But just because stereotypes exist doesn’t mean they have a purpose or need to be used.

This was a show about magic, martial arts, and war. All the romance on the show was technically unnecessary. Doesn’t mean it shouldn’t have happened.

15. Zuko would’ve been a better match for her

The main rival of the Kataang ship is the Zutara vessel, the faction of viewers who believed that Katara would be better off with the series anti-hero Zuko. And they’re probably right. Zuko and Katara have expressed an interest in each other before, launching their ship in the first place, but it’s more because Zuko is more mature and, for lack of a better word, attractive than the alternative.

There’s also the pretty significant matter that they both have similar emotional baggage. Katara has issues with her father abandoning her for the war, Zuko has problems with his father being a dictatorial jerk, and they both lost their mothers at a young age due to the intricacies of politics and conflict.

*eye roll* “Zuko and Katara have expressed interest in each other before” Where? Show me where.

Ok so before you said that one of the reasons Kataang doesn’t work is because they both have PTSD. Buuuuut Katara and Zuko having PTSD is a reason..they should’ve been together? And full offense, but Katara having hard feelings towards her dad for a short time in one episode that was resolved quickly is in no way equal to Zuko experiencing lifelong physical and emotional abuse by his father. I’m actually really angry and kind of offended you would even think this was a reasonable comparison.

16. Their personalities never changed

One of the most important aspects of fictional characters is how they change. Round characters are indefinitely more interesting than flat, one-note characters. And while Aang and Katara are in no way flat characters, they didn’t change much within the confines of their relationship. That is to say, while their presence in each other’s lives changed the others’ personalities, they did not change all too much to each other after their childhood.

As seen in Legend of Korra, Katara is just as maternal and wise as she was in her youth. Korra’s brief flashbacks to Aang’s life demonstrated that he grew somewhat more serious as he aged, but was still immature enough to pose for pictures of him doing his marble trick.

fklafj;afjea;fef; if AANG MAKING A FUNNY POSE FOR A PICTURE IS IMMATURE. god i’m just. i am so done with this article.

17. Aang decided how many kids they had

One of the biggest decisions a long-term couple can make together is if they want to have children. It’s a choice that, if made in the affirmative, can never be taken back, and if they do decide to have kids, they both need to determine how many kids they want or can afford to have.

While Katara never said anything on the subject, their kids were more than happy to discuss how Aang was insistent on having children until at least one of them developed airbending so he had a surefire way to pass on his near-extinct culture. Presumably Katara was more than happy to have three kids with Aang, but if Tenzin had turned out to be a water- or non-bender, he would have demanded that she continue.

LITERALLY WHAT SHOW ARE YOU WATCHING HERE, MY DUDE. Where was this EVER said or even implied. Might I point out in Legacy where Aang literally says that he and Katara were open to the idea of having more kids after Tenzin

18. She lived without him for 20 years

t’s stated in Legend of Korra that Aang died when he was 66. Given that Katara is approximately two years older than him, that means she was about 68 when he passed. By the end of the spin-off series, Katara was 89, according to the official wiki.

That means that she had around 20 years to live, grow, and evolve as a person without Aang around. In all likelihood, if Aang had somehow returned to her after all that time, he might not even recognize Katara as the same woman he fell in love with. As far as the series is willing to tell, Katara’s only company after Aang’s death was her daughter, the Order of the White Lotus, Korra, and infrequent visits from her other children.

Wow, how dare Aang DIE and leave Katara all alone. What a jerk!!!!!!!! I guess my grandpa is a jerk for dying and leaving my grandma all alone, too! Men SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

19. She had a crush on Jet first

Kataang shippers tend to consider the start of the relationship to be the moment Aang saw Katara. He looked at her through rose colored glasses the moment she broke him out of the iceberg, framing her in light and a romantic breeze. It took Katara a little while to come around to having feelings for him, but she had a few different non-starter relationships along the way.

The first, and by far most impassioned of these, was with the freedom fighter Jet, who she met all the way back in the first season. Her crush was apparent and strong enough that she was disproportionately upset when she saw him several months later. She may have wound up with Aang, but she clearly had stronger initial feelings for Jet.

Wow because nobody in real life ever has multiple relationships throughout their lifetime or crushes on other people before meeting their significant other. And yeah, Katara totally shouldn’t have been upset to see the guy who tried to wipe out an entire innocent village unless she was madly in love with him

20. The (older) age difference

Despite only looking like a pre-teen, Aang is actually over 100 years old. He was born and raised before the start of the 100-year war at the Southern Air Temple. Upon learning he was the reincarnated Avatar, Aang was surprised. He and Appa were caught in a ferocious storm that sent them below the waves.

In a moment of self-preservation, his Avatar state activated for the first time and he bent himself into a frozen iceberg, which preserved him as he waited for a century beneath the seas near the Southern Water Tribe. The series is riddled with Aang’s hang-ups about his long-dead culture. It often causes rifts between himself and the other characters.

What does this have to do with their age difference or Kataang at all

#kataang #kataangtag #meta #atla

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checanty · 6 years ago

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so two questions (love your work for the record. you've become one of my primary inspirations over the years! thank you for exposing us to your talent :D ) with the issues surrounding social media at the moment - cancel culture, censorship, algorithm issues etc. How do you feel this is currently affecting current and upcoming talent? Do you think it will get better or worse and why? for my second question - how can one have a relatively humble career in freelance without the social media fame?

Thank youuu!!

Okay, okay, question one: First up regarding the censorship I can’t really say very much since I’m not doing any photography with nudity or any pornographic artwork. I know non sexual artistic nudety does sometimes get flagged, but usually those decisions get gevised if you ask. It’s annoying, but nothing career deciding. I also started sharing my artwork on a website where pornographic (and gore) content was always inaccessible to minors, so this whole thing doesn’t seem particularly outlandish to me. You’ll find your audience, but have to sell ‘under the counter’, you know? Cancel culture on the other hand … it doesn’t really affect me because I’m not usually spreading my opinions far and wide on the internet and my artwork isn’t exactly divisive. Now back in my youth on Animexx (that German website with the adult filter. Where every artwork you uploaded had to be approved by a human being by the way.) I did write and post some questionable things. Hell, I did a whole comic based on a super cringeworthy premise which was rather ableist and contained at least one rape joke. There’s a reason you won’t find it on the internet anymore. I didn’t see it as problematic when I was 15, despite people gently trying to explain to me why it was (In hindsight I understand and am grateful for those folks. But they were patient. they were adults talking to a child. You know.) There’s a lot of stuff I thought was cool and edgy at 15 or even 18 that would make me take a serious double take nowadays. I’d like to think I’ve grown since then. I’d like to think I’m still growing and I’m very aware that a lot of what I think now might have to be seriously re-evaluated a few years from now. Heck, sometimes I catch myself saying stuff and realize it’s messed up a second later.So I’m a bit afraid for young artists out there getting torn apart over stupid (and also harmful) things they say and create. Or artists getting torn apart other stuff they said or created years ago. Like, call them out, yes. but. People can grow. Especially teenagers are not exactly the product of an environment of their choice. It took some depression and alienation (it was horrible, but also, ah, character building?) from my friends to realize some of their jokes were not actually funny and being a sadist is not a cool thing to call yourself. Like the human brain isn’t done rewiring until your mid to late twenties. Let people evolve. On the other people growing up more involved in social media and ‘cancel culture’ might be used to being smarter about what they say and maybe also a tiny bit less ignorent because they have reason and all the options to educate themselves? There are a lot of pretty amazing teens around. Maybe I was just super slow. (Sometimes I try to imagine being on Tumblr earlier in life and it’s usually a mix of ‘I would have been a better person and all those mental health resources would have helped me so much’ and ‘Nah, I was a brat and would have been eaten alive.’ It’s kind of like people are complicated.)Algorithm issues are horrible, they’re even making a difference for established artists who rely on social media to sell their stuff. BUT. If people do great work and share it, it usually still ends up getting seen.Also, it’s all already different from when I started out. If I was 18 years old today I might look at this ancient 25 year old lady and tell her to stop whining because she can’t deal with all that modern stuff. I don’t want to underestimate the young folks. They’re often underestimated. (Yes, I think teenage me was often horrible and stupid and arrogant, but in other matters pretty smart and actually funny and capable. It’s like you can be a lot of things. Like I’m still all those things and others.)I have no idea what is going to happen. I guess it can always get worse. But if it does get worse we don’t really need to bother with the social media for promotion any more and can go back to blogging on our websites again.It’s doubtful Zuckerberg is going to make Facebook or Instagram ‘better’ again. If anything there’s probably be something new. I mean Patreon and Twitch are already kind of new developments and they work great for some folks! That’s lot of income they wouldn’t have had otherwise! There’s always some good, some bad happening. You get what you get and then figure out to make it work for yourself :/I’m going to let this stand as an answer to your first question because I can already feel myself contemplating in the back of my mind if I actually agree with myself on everything said so far. It seemed right at the time! I’m not doing this ‘opinions on the internet’ game very much for a reason :DQuestion number 2: THIS IS EASY!First up, you can have a great career in freelance without social media fame. Not speaking from experience, but it’s possible. (’fame’ I consider something like 100k plus Instagram/FB or anything followers)Social media fame is important in two cases: When you make most of your money selling small products (say prints, books, but also membership stuff like Patreon) and need to reach a huge audience to sell enough to live on. (because maybe 5% of your audience actually buys things.) And when you actually want to make money being an influencer. There are times where clients hire you as an illustrator AND some sort of influencer because they want to make use of your fan base, but that’s like back in the old days when a famous artist gets hires because they’re already well known to the fans/bring their own fans to the product. That would be a nice position to be in, but it’s not exactly standard procedure.When you’re a freelance illustrator you’re not selling small things to a huge audience. You want a few hopefully high paying jobs. Most clients hire you because you’re good and reliable and fit their budget. They need the art. Not your fans. They don’t care about your fans.And you know, most social media followers will not want or be able to hire you for a 300,00-10.000,00 USD (or more. I guess if you go into advertising you can get more.) job. You need to be more selective. Do the networking thing. Be seen by the right people. How? Well, do your research! Look at who might need your work and send them nice e-mails, postcards, whatever. Have a nice portfolio website. If they’re part of a community, become part of that. Now, social media are still useful for let’s say art directors to find you. But having a small artists all working in the same genre as you do the chances that if they share your work an AD also working in the same genre might be following *them* and see your artwork like this is much higher than if folks not in the ‘business’ share your work even if there is a higher number of them. It’s quality vs quantity thing. One reason I like Twitter is because a lot of writers hang out there. Writers might not be responsible for chosing cover artists (most of the time), but self publishers are. And do like doing cover artworks for self publishers. And writers are friends with other writers and other artists and editors and publishing people and so on and so on. So no, no social media fame needed to succeed, BUT try to be known in the right circles. And be nice and reliable so people hire you again and tell their friends. It happens. Also, yes I’m definitely procrastinating right now. I should be working on the table of contents for my mermaid book.

#ask

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dustydreamsanddirtyscars · 7 years ago

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Things about 13x08 “The Scorpion and the Frog”

Alright, since I am awfully late with watching the episode and I don’t think anyone really needs a ton of my rambles on my live watch, I figured - also since I didn’t find much noteworthy to meta or talk about while watching - I’d just make one bigger “impression” post on the episode.

Overall, I have to say - while this wasn’t one of the best episodes ever written - I did not mind the episode. I can’t say I adored it or liked it massively, but I certainly didn’t dislike it as I did with the previous two. I actually found the episode entertaining somewhat. The pacing was alright and I did enjoy the characters introduced in the episode - even though they felt too close to certain other beloved already deceased characters, which kind of left a bad aftertaste imo. In general though and despite it’s silliness, I think the episode worked as a true one off and filler (and I usually tend to say fillers don’t exist, but with this one to me it truly felt like filler - and yes, despite the fact some of the big themes were worked into the episode - but I’ll go into that in a bit).

Alright, here are some aspects I feel like commenting on a bit more.

First of all there is the title - one I think worked pretty well in relation to the context of the episode, because the fable the title is inspired by, I suppose, is explored directly within the episode by the characters and all their “deal making with the natural enemy” that like Dean said right in the beginning usually never works out for them. And of course we saw that ending up being the case with Alice (though in the end she was freed), but most of all Barthamus (who I did enjoy - he was kind of cross between Balthazar and Crowley to me - though tbh seeing him just made me miss Crowley so much more than anything else) and Luthor Shrike as well. More than how the title related to the episode’s arc however it is important to see it in relation to the overarching theme of the season of “nature vs. nurture” especially considering it was the lead up episode to the mid season finale which features Jack heavily, who is the main character through with the whole “fighting against your ~nature”-theme is explored by. If the fable is anything to go by and it’s dark moral then it would allude to Jack going dark side (even though he has been taught and socialized differently) as this is simply part of his “nature” as Lucifer’s son. In this regard it feels also noteworthy that Aesop (which Dean has read) wrote a similar tale about a “Farmer and a viper” where a farmer finds a snake freezing to death and takes pity on it and warms it in his coat - revitalized by that the snake ends up biting the farmer and kills him), which feels even more fitting in relation to SPN lore and how Lucifer is seen as the “serpent”.

Then there is the whole talk on Solomon and him keeping tabs on the Queen of Sheba, which reminded me that earlier this season we had a scene featuring the “Song of Solomon”, which makes interesting, if Solomon ends up popping up a third time this season I’‘d call it a pattern and it’s probably interesing to di into all of that history a bit further.

As for the episode’s characters. I actually liked Grab, he was a kind of “one off”-demon - he wasn’t plain stupid or over the top cringeworthy evil like demons (and angels as well tbh) have been portrayed a lot on SPN the past seasons. I wouldn’t have needed to see him again as a character, but he was enjoyable for the time of the episode. I also liked Barthamus and how the actor played him, but in general to me just no one can in any way replace Mark Sheppard and Crowley so that’s that. And lastly there’s Alice. She was alright (the actress did an okay job), though tbh, to me she felt too much like a clichè and too much like Charlie 3.0 (seriously, they even had to give her a line featuring “Charlie”? Sorry, but… meeeh, I’m not a fan). Hell, they even sent her off with a bus scene and her showing the “victory”-sign. I mean…. how much more blatant can you be?

Now let’s move on to Luthor Shrike. I personally felt reminded of Magnus/Cuthbert Sinclair a bit with his collection of artifacts and such (forever disappointed they never picked Magnus as a big bad, that guy would have worked as that imo). Especially as he was described as “doing anything and everything to add to his collection”. Tbh though I did find him a bit stupid tbh. I fully believe he has his entrance video trapped (he just seemed like that kind of guy) so he must have seen Sam walking in an out of the devil’s trap and then when he hands Sam a shot of gin he hadn’t mixed holy water into that to test him? Seriously? That just seems to me awfully stupid for a 200 year old immortal being. Which brings me to the other character I had to think of aside from Magnus with how he lived secludedly: Cain. Like Cain, Luthor also seems to have drawn away from socitey after losing a loved one. And yes, of course the parallel to John giving his life for Dean and Dean then later dying was prettyy apparent, but I suppose it was alos meant as a possible moment of foreshadowing for Lucifer and Jack’s story. Will Lucifer in the end maybe sacrifice himself to save his son? While I really don’t need or want a Lucifer redemption arc, I’d take it if that meant we’d finally be rid of that character lol. In visuals also to me Luthor was aligned with Cain who was also immortal and got stabbed by the demon killing knife and then later died like Magnus by beheading.

And last but not least on to the Winchesters. I have to admit if Jensen wasn’t as good as an actor as he is the “compass hand thing” as well as the “paw thing” would not have worked. They were silly yes and once more Dean was used as comic relief, but Jensen delivered it. So I didn’t mind those a lot. What made me a bit moody was when the “Nerve damage”-scene rolled around, because it captured so much with nothing much said, but only “I lived off of that stuff when I was a kid, What is it like 10 times the legal amount of caffeine?”. Yeah, nice callback there to how Dean never was a child from 4 onwards and literally ran on coffeine to make it through. Like… how is that not yet another example of how friggin awful Dean’s life was and how much he had to shoulder at a way too young age? Aside from that I found it rather interesting that Grab called Dean a “hand puppet” - of course that as due to the spell he had cast on him, but I can’t help but rather think of that comment in a much broader sense with Dean as a vessel - yes, I am still stupidly hoping that someday Dean as Michael’s vessel will be rendered of import by the narrative again. Silly me…

And now truly lastly, the ending scene with the burning of Bart’s bones and the spell and how slow the Winchesters were there and how Bart just stands watching in slow mo almost when Alice patiently picks up the lighter after he just said he is sooooo quick was just… eye roll worthy imo. Also, lol, Bart saying Sam is the smart one? Apparently not when it comes to keep something from burning. ;P I mean, come on Sam, you blew on that? Really??? Bahaha.

Anyway… So yeah, that’s kind of all I have to say. Not much stuff for meta, but a few very pretty eye candy moments, so maybe I’ll try some editing. Anyway overall verdict: Alrightish irrelevant episode. Score: 6 out of 10.

#SPN spoilers #SPN Meta #Supernatural Meta #13x08 #The scorpion and the frog #Possible unpopular opinions #Things about 13x08

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thetravellingvagrant · 7 years ago

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Day 6: Iasi- Grumble Warning

Ok, so, I've fallen a bit behind on posts and the one I was working on just deleted itself in a fit of selfishness, so I plan, over the course of today, to upload three mini-updates of significantly reduced length, in an effort to not send myself mental, trying to catch up. Don't worry. You won't be missing much.

So, let's speed through day 6; for the first time on the trip I had managed to let myself wake up naturally, without my alarm or (despite their best, snore-laden efforts) room-mates prematurely rousing me. Consequently, I slept until 12 and had managed to waste a good portion of my first full day in Iasi.

I shared my room with an odd Romanian man, who we will get to later and another, eerily quiet, fairly creepy man who had sat stock still, the previous night, not moving, even to check his phone when it went off, save for one incident, where he sauntered directly over to my bunk to thrust a piece of melon into my face, to ask if I wanted some. I did not. Melon is gross. By the time I had woken up, however, both men had vacated the room, with my melon based assailant seemingly having done so permanently. I was very glad of this fact.

After a genuinely infuriating experience of trying to drag my incredibly low-end laptop through the relatively demanding experience of trying to book accommodation for Cluj-Napoca; my next destination, through AirBnB, who had also arbitrarily decided that I, all of a sudden, needed to scan my passport into the website in order to make any further bookings, for some mad reason, I finally managed to get out into Iasi, to explore the city properly. Sort of.

The sky was badly overcast, meaning, that once again, despite it being pre-sunset, my jaunt into the surrounding area would be undertaken essentially in darkness. Regardless, I pressed on to my first objective of the day; to hoover up souvenirs, like a mad tat-vaccuum.

I stopped, for what I hoped would be a flying visit, though actually ended up taking up a good portion of what remained of my day, at a gift shop I had spied on my way in to the hostel, the previous day. A timid little man greeted me upon my entry and asked what I was looking for, for whom and what my budget was. I told him and he considered for a moment, before demonstrating at wearying length each piece of stock he felt fit the bill, which, as it turned out, was nearly every piece of stock he owned. After an awfully long time, he stopped talking and I picked the piece of tat I most felt would make an appropriate gift and attempted to pay. He insisted on gift-wrapping it, despite the fact that I told him I did not need it gift wrapped, nor did I expect the structural integrity of the wrap to hold up, during my flight home. But, no. He did it anyway.

I left and, after a quick stop at a nearby mall to pick up a fridge magnet, upon which my demanding (though still nice) girlfriend insists I bring back for her, I was finally ready to explore the city. Like, for real this time.

I sat in a nearby park and pulled out the comically huge map I had been given by the hostel

I mean LOOK at it...

before feeling a bit embarrassed and putting it away, after taking a quick photo of it to take note of the highlighted areas of interest. I decided, in lieu of a better plan, to saunter between them, despite the fact that most, if not all of them just seemed to be old churches.

The walk was nice enough, with my podcasts filling my ears to distract me from the low-key mundanity and creeping cold that was setting in, though probably not of any huge interest to the blog, as it can be summed up in the single sentence “I saw some churches”. I nearly went to a museum which featured exhibits on life in the area at around 4000BC, which sounded interesting, but by the time I had arrived, it was getting close to its closing time, and so I did not.

I ended up, instead, in a nearby park, which my giganto-map had told me, I my memory served, had inspired numerous romanian poets to create their best work. It was, however, by the time I arrived, a little after sunset, and so I was only really inspired to leave.

Finally, I made a quick stop at LIDL to buy far, far, far too many pastries to make my nine hour train ride the following day, less shit.

The LIDL, though quite nice, had the curious flaw of not having any baskets for me to use, hanging around. People had trolleys, but I had no idea from where they originated. Instead, I was forced to just sort of fill my pockets, tuck under my arm and otherwise clutch onto the not insubstantial amount of things I wanted to buy. It was awkward and uncomfortable and for some time afterwards, my hands more resembled talons, but I powered through, little soldier that I am, and made my pleasingly cheap purchases. I remembered to buy a bag for the walk home.

I returned to the hostel and set about my evening bibble before being interrupted by my strange Romanian room-mate, whom I had previously mentioned. He stumbled into the room.

“...Deed you see the city?”

“Sorry?”

“...Deed you go and look at thee ceety?”

“What, today?” I asked, feeling vaguely affronted, like he was judging me for being in the hostel so often, when I could be outside exploring this gloriously mundane town. “Yes, I just got back.” I challenged, adding “I was out walking around for like five hours”, just to make him feel like a real piece of shit.

He seemed to drop the subject and wandered over to the window.

“You know eet was snoweenk earlier?” he said, desperate to prove that I wasn't paying enough attention to the outside world, apparently.

“Oh” I replied. “No, I didn't.”

“Yeah, its stopped now, theenk you meesed it”

Oh, fuck off.

“Ah, well, there'll always be more snow...” I said, philosophically.

“Who knows, man” he answered back, also philosophically, but at the same time, stupidly. “Weenters are getting warmer, you know”

“Yeah, true...” I mumbled back, out of politeness

“When I was a keed, always such huge snow in weenter, but nowadays, not so much”

“Well, that's global warming for you...”. My stock reply to people talking about weather I'm not interested in.

“...I don't believe so much in global warmeenk”

...Oh, no.

“Oh?” I queried, knowing full well that I was getting dragged down this rabbit hole, whether I wanted or not.

“Yeah, I mean it maybe happens, but its effect is like a drop in the ocean, compared to the governments weather controlling”

“...Wat.” I thought, and also accidentally said out loud.

“You know, chemtrails etc, you know government controls weather right?”

I wanted to just nod and smile, but I couldn't bring myself to. I had never actually come face-to-face with someone who harboured such a stupid belief. You hear about climate change deniers, flat-earthers and anti-vaxxers, but you don't honestly believe they exist. They're like Santa, or happiness.

“...I actually think that's a very dangerous opinion to hold, let alone spread. There's literally no evidence or science behind it, whatsoever.”

“Ah, you know science isn't always right? These scientists theenk something and then, a few years later, eets replaced by a new thing”

“Yes, but it's always replaced with more science...not just a wild, mental guess”

I don't remember exactly what he said after this, but I recall it being stupid. Something to the effect of “oh yeah? Then why do we have less snow now?”

I decided, at that point, just to drop it and be angry.

We talked a short while longer, before he vanished back into the common room to study for the university course he was undertaking while living here, which was also weird. Psychology, if you're interested, because of course it was. I have know idea what kind inperceptible mentalist lure has lodged itself at the heart of that subject, but, my god, it is there.

I bibbled a while longer, before sauntering down to finally use the shit, hostel kitchen to make some sandwiches; both for tomorrow's trip and tonight's dinner.

The climate change denier was in the kitchen, talking to some girl wearing a rough, loose fitting jumper, with her hair pinned up in neat dreadlocks.

“Oh, wow.” I thought to myself. The conversation I'm walking into is going to be fucking ridiculous.

“...You know why you're not supposed to eat fruit after a meal?” the man, let's call him Mental Andrei, said.

“Yeah, of course...” the girl replied, seemingly trying to make herself seem knowledgeable about a subject which was categorically mental and had no underpinning in facts.

“Because” Andrei continued “the food is already in your intestines and so the fruit goes straight through the stomach and go to the other food and it ferments and makes you feel sick. Maybe even make you vomit!”

I wanted so badly to tell him that what he said was fundamentally ridiculous; that a) food does not move from the stomach to intestine immediately after you eat it, that b) adding more food afterwards doesn't immediately mean that that food bypasses the stomach, like there's a big open plug-hole going straight through to your colon, which slowly closes again several hours after a meal and most crucially c) that humans have been eating and drinking fermented fruits for probably thousands of years, however, I kept tight-lipped, reasoning that to correct them would at best be a waste of breath and at worst, be an inescapable portal into their conversation.

I set about making my sandwiches, which were awful. Normally, I'd do a long description about how they were like someone throwing up into my nose and me snorting it into the back of my throat then swishing it around my mouth and that's what they tasted like, but because I'm trying to be brief today, I will simply say eating these sandwiches was like being kicked in the mouth by a shoe made of rotten meat. It was a sad, dry, gristly affair and I did not like it. Good thing I had just made four of them for tomorrow.

I then turned in to bed, eager to sleep, which which I did, after tossing and turning for a while, for at least an hour or so, before some absolute thundering prick decided the following things constituted acceptable behaviour; checking in at 3am; having a tour of the room and its amenities by the receptionist at this time; switching the room's lights on while he put took his stuff in; loudly and clumsily putting all his clothes away on /hangers/, directly next to the bed of someone, whom, for all intents and purposes, he could have happily assumed was still asleep; leaving the room, lights still on to have a shower, in the bathroom located directly through the wobbly cardboard wall from my bed and finally, coming back to bed to sit up, lights still on for a good hour or so afterwards, loudly coughing, turning the pages of his book and chuckling to himself.

It was a good thing I didn't have anything strenuous to do the next day.

...Oh, wait.

#travelling #vagrant #iasi #romania #churches #climate change #stupid #idiot #blue gifts

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satiricaljusticewarrior · 8 years ago

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Update for May 6-12

Satire about Antifa.

I had this idea since the previous update, and it was one of reasons why I didn’t update for so long. And the exact reason you can guess by looking at the previous update.

The first comic I created for (not named yet back then) Satirical Justice Warrior was nothing more than poking fun at some relatively harmless hypocrisy. It was a hypocrisy nonetheless, the same hypocrisy I tackled through all the nearly 100 updates. Well, sometimes I just poked fun at some things I found just stupid, but most of time, I pointed at the hypocrisy of people I disagree with.

Denying a feminist with a wrong opinion. Treating like shit women you were supposed to side with. Being against press aiding people, when you aid your selected people. Running anti-harassment tools while siding with harassers. Not wanting to be accused for harassment in the same way you accused others. And finally, openly justifying attacks and harassment, worse than the ones you ever claimed to oppose.

From the perspective, the pattern was clearly always there. And I knew that it was there from the day one. I knew, because of one simple truth about real life:

Any scum can call themselves good and justified.

And they can even believe it, what only makes them worse. SJWs were awful, when then only felt being opposed. With Trump delivering them an unfathomable major defeat, now they have turned fucking ugly.

Sometimes, it’s simply not fun anymore to point out their bullshit. But sometimes, their bullshit is too frustrating to not point it out.

So, what was Antifa doing after my previous comic they inspired? Well, they used threats of violence to speak Ann Coulter’s university speak. So, after years of telling me that sending violent threats to woman is bad, despite never proving anybody guilty of it, you may want to tell me why this was good this time. Okay.

How about causing a neck injury to a female professor?

http://reason.com/blog/2017/03/03/a-professor-who-attended-charles-murrays

And this happened before right-wingers retaliated against Antifa and some Antifa girl got punched. Let’s put aside whatever she didn’t earlier made a statement indicating her willingness to participate in violence, joined a violent group that started violence, or was holding bottles to do some violence herself. This doesn’t matter at all, because

Violent Antifas were called good and justified.

For the side that goes on and on how words and ideas can be not just threatening, but be a violence in itself, it’s baffling to not grasp how unsafe is to call crime of assault acceptable. Alt-Right blogger was sucker-pouched, so brave! A girl with “Make Bitcoin Great Again” was attacked because somebody though “Bitcoin” was “America”, oh well! A professor was injured, let’s look away and not ever mention this happened! Anyway, isn’t it brave to punch a Nazi?

You gave tankies a public free pass to violence saying they target only Nazis, and when (obviously) they attacked wrong targets you turned a blind eye. And then you cried that a member of your beloved thugs got punched. Terrible outcome, those you allowed to assault people got assaulted. Yes, and it is on you, go fuck yourselves for bringing this upon everybody.

Also, you already gave public free pass to violence towards people that weren’t Nazis, but just white.

http://satiricaljusticewarrior.com/post/153361939688/update-for-nov-12-18-satire-about-symone-sanders

Go fuck yourselves.

And then we have morons like Shen saying Antifa should be further normalized. I don’t expect from a guy that makes comics about being unable to function in real world to actually know how the real world functions. Media told him that only fascists get punched, so this is what he tells to his 193k twitter followers.

http://archive.is/FfKCq

I don’t assume malice when I can assume idiocy. But when bullshit is frustrating, I’m going to point it out.

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sarazanmai · 8 years ago

Text

Thoughts on the “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure” English dub. “Stardust Crusaders” episode one.

so yeah I wanted to create a distinction here given that the anime did the same thing. and we only have three episodes of this thing released to us. I have read that this was a test dub, but I have also read that they dubbed all of it and we just have not had it released. I know as recently as last month episode 26 of BT was aired in America so generally speaking Viz has been weird with how they’re handling this series. I know they announced special 30th anniversary Blu-Ray sets in Japan and its possible US audiences will receive something similar and that will give us the rest of the SDC dub. I know most fans don’t care about the English dubs, but personally I would like to watch it all. I just wish Viz wasn’t being so weird because these episodes were done in 2014 and all we have is three.

anyway I’m gonna try and squeeze out as much as I can from these episodes

the first person who speaks is one of the fishermen

I always did like the art style shift for SDC, it feels like they took the manga style from this arc when it was at its best (because if you look back on the earlier chapters, especially with Jotaro’s look, its clear Araki was working things out) and just put it in anime form

“hold on, wait. this is bizarre” that should be the tagline

I would make a Holy Diver reference right now, but everyone already beat me to it

Joe-turro Kujo

okay so when I first read the manga I said his name as Joe-tah-ro which I realize now is incorrect, but there’s something about how these people say it that still feels off

“seventeen years old 195cm tall” he’s 6′3. mommy’s large prince.

yeah that throw away line about his dad being a jazz musician on tour is all we ever learn of Sadao, like damn we knew more about Jolyne’s mother and Araki never gave her a name

Holy is voiced by Julie Ann Taylor who is Miss Haruna in the new Sailor Moon dub

also yeah I have seen her name written as Holy and Holly, I kinda prefer Holly but I am aware it should be Holy

I like how they explained why he’s called Jojo even though the Japanese audience this was made for would understand its because he’s Kujo Jotaro (meanwhile Josuke is called Jojo due to how his name can be read in Japanese and its never explained so you need to check Jojo wiki for that info)

I like how Holy is assuming Jotaro killed people, like damn woman no one said that

“by the way ma’am, I have to tell you your Japanese is really quite good” I’m sure it is

yeah I knew that line was gonna feel weird, but its funny they kept it anyway

the way Holy says Jotaro’s name is basically how I say it now, I only point it out because the way the prison guards said it still feels weird

BABY JOTARO

because if they didn’t show me he was once a child I would have never believed them

“nothing’s as good as your cooking Mom” why is this line always funny to me?

also Jotaro’s played by Matthew Mercer who was Demande in Sailor Moon, Levi in AOT, Law in OP, McCree in Overwatch, and Leon in Resident Evil

“SHUT UP! GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU BITCH!” ladies and gentlemen, the most iconic character of the entire series

as if this post isn’t long enough, I may as well say my general thoughts on Jotaro. I like him, but not as much as everyone else. he falls pretty low on my list when I rate my favorite Jojos and by the time we got to VA I was pretty sick of him. I do like him though, I swear his fans are so protective of him in a way that doesn’t feel necessary. I spoke to another blogger about him years ago and gave a very mild critique (I think I basically said I think him showing up in VA was unnecessary and it annoyed me) and they replied by saying “please don’t hate Jotaro”. I don’t! I bought his Medicos figure for crying out loud.

Jotaro in several ways is the perfect cool strong silent protagonist in shonen. in the nice hardcover copies of SDC Araki says Jotaro is what he considers his ideal hero as he feels heroes should carry some kind of weight and be a loner that doesn’t ask for glory. however I do think he goes against that trope in ways that are subtle but noticeable. he enjoys the companionship of his friends, he has a sense of humor, I would describe him as comically serious. the reason I don’t love him like everyone else ultimately is because he just isn’t my type.

also this is random but he was inspired by Clint Eastwood, I just wanted to say that

“seems I’ve been possessed by an evil spirit” that’s just your Stand you ignorant child

wait...how was Star Platinum able to bring him that stuff? its not like his Stand can just go to the corner store for him

“what the hell!? he’s reading Shonen Jump while listening to a radio!” the fiend!

mmmm the music

uuuuuhhhh.....at the end of episode 26 old Joseph still seemed to have an English accent but now he’s American?

Avdol!

oh no! Jotaro has been playing with toy cars and reading books! books you guys!

Holy tells Jotaro that’s his grandpa like he’s never met him

can we just appreciate how Extra Jotaro actually is?

sigh...so Avdol is being voiced by an actor named Chris Tergliafera who is Silva Zoldyck in HXH and Tanktop Tiger in OPM and he is white

they gave you a black man named Muhammad and you cast a white guy

its not like black voice actors don’t exist or anything, you hired one to play Esidisi

BEHOLD! SPICY CHICKEN!

I love this music

Staaaaar Platinuuuuum

can I just say I love that fandom started calling it Star Plat? its fun to say

HHHHHMMMM Star Platinum sounds suspiciously not like Matthew Mercer! yeah I still think its beyond stupid that they hired Patrick Seitz to voice Star Plat. the Stand is an extension of its user, its part of them so yes it should be voiced by the person playing the user. Daisuke Ono did both no problem, if they felt Matthew couldn’t ora ora properly then maybe they should have cast someone else.

also this makes the “same type of Stand” thing weirder given Patrick is Dio

so at least I can say my worries over them giving Avdol a fake African sounding accent were for nothing, that would have been a horrible idea

“the power Avdol has is exactly the same as your’s” really? point me to the scene where Star Plat could create fire

Jotaro calls his mom a bitch, the mom he went on a suicide mission to fight a hyper sexual vampire in Egypt to save. what a moron.

Araki has said he originally intended for the series to be a trilogy and it does show in SDC, but I’m happy it continued on afterwards

my favorite character gets like the worst Stand in the series, go figure

“this is my Stand! it can reveal far away visions and place them on film! the only downside is I have to bust a 30,000 yen camera every time I use it!” wow that must be like ten dollars

“Jotaro, Holy, have either of you ever taken the time to look carefully at the back of your necks?”

ah! Lisa Lisa reference! Araki never confirmed her death, so I’d like to think she kept on living and never aging so Josuke got to meet his hot young grandma

so nice of Dio to pose for Joseph’s photography

and there he is, the Big D himself, laying around shirtless in the dark as he should be

tune in next time for cherry boy and hot mama

#angelina reads jojo

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nora-reads-homestuck · 8 years ago

Text

Nora Reads HS Part 68

Pages 6154-6184

Hey guys! Some quick background on why I’ve been a little scarce: I’ve mentioned a personal project that’s been eating into my free time, and that is... dun dun dun, a custom 5e D&D campaign I’m running IRL! The campaign is just starting, so I’m in the phase where I’m planning out a lot of details and building locations, etc. What that means is that sometimes I’ll need to take little breaks from liveblogging to work on the game, and other times, I’ll put D&D to the side to focus on liveblogging! I haven’t disappeared or anything like that, and once the campaign really gets going, my need to take short breaks should ease off. No need to worry! I am here and ready to find out what’s up with this robot bunny that young Bro has built Jane. *Seinfeld music* Does the auto responder have a connection to it the way he has a connection to the brobot? Does it fight with Jane? Is it... touchy feely?

Let’s... find out. Eurgh.

*click*

Poor poppop's severed head got nicked by the FIREPLACE POKER.

OH SHIT. I’m so accustomed to seeing damaged eyes that it didn’t really register the first time I looked at this panel. Is this Hussie teasing us with the idea of a Poppopsprite? Because I would be PERFECTLY OK with that eventuality. Circumstantial simultaneity.

Also, damn, check out all those Astaires.

Jane: Put head back.

You stick the poker down his neck hole and jam the head back on the spike as a temporary measure. That looks somewhat more respectable you guess.

THE PERFECT CRIME.

Looks like the troublemaker's father is calling.

That choice of language is weird and it’s skeeving me out. I DUN LIKE IT. On the other hand, yay, more kidchat! Or... robokid chat?

KID SIGHTING. And... well, he looks exactly as expected. He appears to be standing on the roof of his building, surrounded by... fucking... are those doves?

TT: Why have you activated dear, sweet Huggy Bear. TT: Are you in danger?

...I... it’s gotta be Snoop Dogg Huggy Bear, right?

TT: I disabled the AR for now. GG: Ok. Just making sure! GG: Jake was having some issues with it earlier, and I don't think he received its obfuscating tendencies in the humorous spirit intended. TT: Yes, I'm catching up with the situation now. GG: Oh, so you're talking to Jake then? TT: Nah. Just reading their chat logs.

Why does this seem weird and intrusive if the ‘AR’ is basically fucking him? (Haa haa.)

TT: Its demeanor leaves something desired though. I'd prefer it didn't make such aggressive and repeated claims of fidelity to my persona. TT: Be misrepresentin' hells of key subtleties, yo.

‘Subtleties’. Sure.

TT: Jake needs to be more skeptical. Rather than take a Pollyanna jackknife ass-first off whatever turnip truck is blowing through town that day, he's got to apply more critical reasoning to shit. TT: I keep telling him. TT: I keep telling him, dude, you got to be more like Jane. GG: These lectures I presume are roughly similar in complexion to those I'm familiar with? GG: Those wherein I have, and I quote, "got to be more like Jake?" TT: Yes, exactly. TT: You're finally fucking getting it. GG: I sincerely doubt that I am! TT: Said the stubborn skeptic, skeptically. GG: Let's not talk about my "issues" again, shalln't we?

Alright then. Young Bro is apparently trope savvy, so let’s see what tropes we can apply to him, so far. A: a fair few.

TT: Shalln't? TT: That ain't a thing to say, even for you. GG: Shush! GG: The word shalln't escape my vocabulary any longer, just as you SHALLN'T nitpick my language! That's my turf you're on, buster. TT: Alright. Kinda don't care.

WOW, what a jackass.

GG: What were you saying? TT: About what? Jake?

Careful, Strider, your crush is showing.

GG: About leaving the responder on! TT: Yeah. TT: Anyway, I kind of owe it to him to let the program run as often as possible. GG: Jake? TT: No. TT: The responder.

AHAHAHAHA. Yeah, this is going to get mined for drama later, isn’t it? Normally I’d be fucking allergic to the idea of a teen love n-gon, having experienced enough of them in YA fiction to make me sick, but then, this is Hussie. It’ll be amusing if nothing else.

(IF LITTLELONDE IS THE ONE TO END UP WITH JAKE I WILL SHIT. I might actually ship it??)

TT: It is a fully cognitive, self-aware entity I am responsible for, not even to mention an approximate cerebral duplicate of myself. TT: You don't just make a clone of yourself to live in a dead end existence where it has no chance to thrive as an individual or surpass its limitations. TT: That'd be sick.

That’s a charitable view to have toward an AI, and I’m going to remember this moment in case he reneges on his words later.

TT: Also. TT: The more the software runs, the broader and more detailed its experiential canopy becomes. Makes for a better dialogic partner. GG: Dialogic? GG: Are you saying you have conversations with your own auto-responder? TT: Of course. TT: Why do you think I made the thing? GG: Hrm, that's interesting. GG: I guess I always thought it was just a really elaborate gag! TT: It's that too.

Let me guess; the gag lies in the enormity of the narcissism involved in valuing yourself as the best possible dialogic partner, and is somehow tied up in ‘the ironies’.

God, what an insufferable prick. I think I would like him better if he were charming. Rose, for example, can get away with quite a lot by virtue of her rapier wit. What’s interesting to me, though, is that the most intelligent character in any work of fiction can only be as intelligent as the author. Rose and Doc Scratch were conduits for Hussie to show off his sense of humor and sesquipedalian loquaciousness, but Bro might be his chance to show off his raw intellect.

OH MY GOD JANE, YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. <3 And what the hell is the rabbit doing?

GG: Sometimes your sense of humor seems more impenetrably advanced than your robotics. I'll never understand this tapestry of irony you weave.

Replace ‘honor’ with ‘irony’.

GG: Maybe I'm just stuck in the dark ages of pranksterism with my funny mustaches corny old joke book. TT: Yes, you are. But that's fine. TT: We come from different traditions. Someone needs to keep that racist southern asshole's legacy alive.

WOW SUCK MY DICK. How can you even be mean to Jane.

TT: There's dignity in taking up the work of our familial predecessors, even if what they did was insanely fucking stupid.

So... adult!Dave is still all about irony post-Scratch, and Bro claims to have gotten his shtick from him, instead of the other way around, but... he thinks Dave’s work was stupid?? This is infuriatingly circular.

GG: Is that a note of bitterness directed at your superstar brother I am detecting?

I AM SO HERE FOR FAMOUS DAVE, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

TT: No way. He's awesome. TT: I've told you, I don't begrudge any of his success. TT: I've also told you he isn't my real bro even though I call him that. We're related through an esoteric process of genetic reamalgamation. GG: Oh lordy. Yes, yes, I know. I don't need another ironic lesson in science fiction!

Wow, yet another Sburb process the post-Scratch kids are inexplicably aware of. Does Bro know the actual nature of their relationship? Because that’s got to be weird and squicky in a Freaky Friday parent-kidswap kind of way. Maybe... Did Dave tell him all this stuff about the game, and Rose told LittleLonde, and that’s why Jane is still in the dark? Because Dad wasn’t a player???

IT ALL MAKES SENSE! :D

If Dave and Rose remember the game and their other lives, that would explain the continued existence of SBaHJ without adult!Bro’s awful comics to inspire him! And maybe they were the ones to encourage this troll friendship the Scratch kids have got going on! It would seem to run counter to the previous example we have in the troll ancestors, who didn’t recall game details after their Scratch, but it’s not exactly a game-breaking retcon to have the humans remember.

I still wonder why Jade would make all that Lord English-themed stuff, if she knew he was an evil motherfucker, but ah well. At least we know why she was so adamant about engaging “”Betty Crocker”” in corporate warfare!

TT: The point is, obviously his satirical methods have flaws, and whatever tempered brand of hero worship I might be practicing isn't keeping me from seeing that.

WHATEVER, HE LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU.

...LITERALLY.

GG: Flaws?? Talk about understatement. Those movies are unwatchable. GG: Unless your name is Jake English.

AHAHAHA.

TT: Yes, spectacularly so. But they will have profound historical significance. Mark my words.

Consider them marked. And knowing Hussie, it’ll be played for drama just as much as laughs.

TT: And flaws aside, it's a legacy I'm proud to inherit. My duty isn't to appropriate his methods with absolute loyalty, but to apply reason and improve upon them. To leave my own mark. TT: To perfect the art of irony.

UGH. Improve upon his methods by “”applying reason”’, as if, had Dave only been just a little bit smarter, just a bit more logical, he’d have told better jokes?? Bro’s one of those “let me play devil’s advocate, if I may” douchebags, isn’t he. He should’ve had a fedora on his shirt.

...OH MY GOD HE HAS THE KATANA TOO, IT’S PERFECT.

TT: It's just like what you're doing with the work of your ancestor. You are striving to perfect his hokey vaudeville bullshit, or something. TT: You seek the Zen of a pie to the face. The Tao of falling the fuck down.

Alright, that one’s actually funny.

TT: Can't fool me. You take your shit as serious as I do. TT: And if I wasn't serious about it, I wouldn't have made you that rabbit. Then where the hell would you be?

Still literally homestuck, if with an intact grandfather-son. But you don’t gotta be a fuckin’ prick about it.

Whoa, they’re not doves, they’re seagulls! Not unheard of, that close to Galveston. Also, the sky is lovely and blue. I would expect the post-Scratch Earth to be more of a crapsack world, a la post-Scratch Alternia, so this is interesting. Maybe it’s just because it’s Fall?

GG: Well, aside from thousands of dollars in corpse-repair richer, I can't say.

Ahahaha. Fuckin’ tell ‘im, Jane.

TT: Has he been sleeping in the old man hollow again? Shit, that's adorable. GG: I can think of cuter places for him to sleep, frankly! TT: Yeah, bullshit. TT: He's just being instinctive. In the wild, he would gut a carcass and sleep inside for warmth, as well as to secure tactical advantage for ambushing would-be scavengers. GG: Oh, please.

UGHH I AM QUICKLY APPROACHING MY LIMIT FOR DOUCHERY.

On a side node, what is the internal temperature of a tauntaun?

(What do you mean, an African or a European tauntaun?)

GG: Anyway, property damage and desecration to cherished elders aside, Mr. Bear has been a lovely addition to the family. TT: You haven't renamed him yet? GG: Oh... no. GG: I keep forgetting I'm supposed to! TT: You've got to fucking rename him. Or change him to a girl if you want. That was important. TT: When pets change owners they get new names. Fact. GG: Sorry.

Ok not only is that patently untrue, but I swear to god if this asshat keeps being rude to Jane, I will TURN THIS FUCKING COMIC AROUND.

GG: I will name him right now! GG: How about Lil' Sebastian? TT: Fuck if that isn't the best name a thing could get. GG: Yeah!!!

HALF MAST IS TOO HIGH.

GG: So then, are you saying Mr. Sebastian here was an ironic present? GG: Relayed strictly for guffaws?? >:B TT: Yes, but it's not that simple. There were many layers involved. TT: Some of them are literal layers, of metal and plush. GG: Huh? TT: There's a real stuffed rabbit beneath its exoskeleton. GG: What! Really? :O TT: Yeah. TT: It belonged to my bro. GG: I thought you said you didn't have such an heirloom to complete the plushie trifecta? TT: I didn't. He didn't give it to me, and never intended to bequeath it. TT: I stole it.

Huh. So, like Dave’s gift to John in the pre-Scratch universe is the “original” bunny, having at that point taken no trips through time, so the bunny inside Lil’ Sebastian is the post-Scratch universe’s original. Why did adult!Dave have it in his possession? He didn’t give it... to...

Oh. Con Air came out in 1997, and John died in 1995. So he bought it and kept it as a keepsake, in memory of his departed friend, only to have Bro steal it. For a good cause, yeah, but still. :’(

GG: Ooh. Risky! TT: Nah. I got a little help from RL and ganked it out of his museum. TT: It's this whole "priceless" collection of stupid shit from movies, defended like Fort Knox. Ironically of course.

PROBABLY NOT IRONICALLY, YOU JACKANAPES.

GG: So it's from a movie? TT: Ever hear of Con Air? GG: Nope. GG: Wait... GG: Wasn't that some bit of action schlock from the 90's? TT: Yes. GG: Some of the silly nonsense referenced in his work was well before my time. I don't have the wherewithal to investigate all this minutia. TT: Yeah, it doesn't matter really. But it was from that. Dude weirdly obsessed over that shit movie for years, among others.

Awww, noooo, he's sad about John!! D:

GG: That does sound a tad obsessive. Wasn't he furious about your burglary? TT: Pretty sure he didn't even notice. In years since, I never saw a news story about a "daring heist" or anything. I feel like he would have made some hay outta that. TT: And if he did know, he'd probably just want to give me a stoic fist bump or something.

Maybe, but probably not for the reason you think.

TT: Like I said, there are layers. TT: On one level, I gave you a filthy tattered piece of shit, albeit of tremendous cultural significance, manhandled by some old B movie actors, now candy coated to function as a highly practical defender droid for your personal protection. TT: On another level, I needed to incorporate something passable as a real heirloom. TT: For sentimental reasons. GG: D'awwwww. GG: Wait, real sentiment, or ironic sentiment? GG: Or is there no difference?? Am I missing the point here? TT: No, it was genuine.

So he’s not completely without a heart, even if it is, to quote him directly, a filthy tattered piece of shit.

TT: The upper echelons of irony should always include measures of sincerity. And if the satirical practice is executed faithfully it will achieve something bona fide in its own right regardless. TT: Through an intense commitment bordering on religious devotion to the absolutely inane, absurd, or plain fucking stupid, a very different kind of sincerity begins to materialize. One of reverence to the ridiculous. You begin to "mean it," but what exactly it is you mean is never quite what appears on the surface, and is utterly inaccessible to obtuse and literal minds. That you "mean it" then becomes inseparable from the joke, and additional rich strata of humor may be stripped aggressively from this irreconcilable truth.

I’m torn. On the one hand, I want to reach through my monitor and punch this kid in the face. On the other, even I can recognize that this is basically Andrew Hussie sock-puppeting his own ironic ideals. It’s just somehow more insufferable when Bro says it.

GG: I have so much to learn. And I am not even saying that "ironically!" GG: Will you teach me your ways one day, sir? Perhaps an apprenticeship will open? TT: Oh god, I'd love that. TT: Consider the position yours for the taking any time. Feel free to approach and kneel before Cal. With my sword and his floppy mitten, you will receive my flashstep anointment shoulder to shoulder, and to shoulder again.

UUUGHHHH. His head’s stuck up his own ass, but at the very least, he does seem to be sincere about enjoying teaching people things.

JESUS RABBIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. If it’s really got a mind of its own, then it’s like a hyper-competent dog with a sword. If you don’t walk it or play with it enough, it starts destroying things. LIKE SOMEONE I KNOW. *stares down the dog*

GG: Lil' Seb is beginning to act out, and I must put his fidgetiness to constructive use!

‘Fidgitiness’, that’s putting it politely.

TT: Cool. TT: Jane, one more thing. TT: I'm sure you must be aware by now that you'll be the leader of our group, as you will be the first to enter the session. GG: Um, no? GG: This is news to me. I never gathered that "team leader" was a thing for this game. TT: Trust me. It's a thing.

Hmm. Frankly, it’s a little surprising to me that Bro would both know about the leader position, and willingly give it up. He seems like the kind of person who would want to be calling the shots, if for no other reason that he’s SOOO SMAAAART.

GG: Are you sure? I have my doubts. GG: I believe as a group we will have the temerity to succeed, without my having to order people around like an insufferable bossypants. TT: That's why you're our leader, Jane. GG: Hm? TT: Optimism through stalwart skepticism is an affect not everyone is plucky enough to be graced with. GG: That's stupid! TT: Yeah yeah. I know. TT: You're not our leader, you're our FRIEND, right? GG: Precisely! GG: There is a BIG difference! TT: And statements like that are also why you're our leader.

Whoa, whoa. So like... Bro and LittleLonde have certainly been privy to a lot of things they have no business knowing, which I’m still assuming was imparted to them by their troll friend or by Dave and Rose. But either that’s just an extremely coincidental call back to that exact conversation between Rose and John, or... Or I don’t know. It’s probably just him knowing her really well, and her being a lot like John and Bro being a lot like Rose. B...Brose?

TT: But only in name and in spirit. Less so, functionally. TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here.

Oh. Oh, wow. Never mind. You know what? I hope it all backfires spectacularly, so that the pre-Scratch kids can swoop in and save the day, while Bro looks on in stupefied wonder.

They wait, bitches.

GG: Oh yes? GG: Then this whole affair will be one of D. Strider's grand productions in puppetry?

Alright, so his name starts with D. Not all that many 4-letter male D names. Dean, Doug, Drew (ahaha), Dale, Dane, Dirk, Dion, Dann, Dill... Dick...

Also, ‘grand productions in puppetry’ makes me want to punch (and judy) something.

TT: I will be the unseen hand whose nimble digits are behind every subtle twitch in our session's bulbous foam ass. TT: At least those gyrations not happening by the volition of its own quivering absorbant proboscis. TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word. TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss.

Well, that’s... sweet? I guess he’s saying he’s got good intentions, but still, I can see this (and am sort of rooting for it) to backfire horribly.

TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself. TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war. TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say. TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family. TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere. TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there. TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time. TT: Yeah.

I hate to use the same gif twice in one post, but...

GG: These lessons we talked about... GG: They've already begun, haven't they? :o TT: Jane, soon you'll believe what I've told you. TT: You'll believe it all. TT: It's just a shame that believing will take something so coarse as seeing, for a girl as sharp as you.

How biblical. What all exactly is he talking about? Game stuff? Betty Crocker stuff?

TT: Critical thought can lead one to accept the unlikely, just as much as dismiss the impossible. TT: I can help with this too. Would you like me to program a Jane Crocker responder for you? TT: I only require a simple captcha of your brain.

Alright, Doctor Fuckin’ Jekyll; let me just get right on that.

Wait, doesn’t DAVE have a captcha of his own brain? ...Oh no. Also, that means the auto responder isn’t n% indistinguishable from Bro just because it was programmed to be; it’s literally a copy of his brain. That’s kind of disturbing.

GG: Holy moly! GG: Um, thank you, but no. GG: I'm not ready to get dialogic with my cyberself just yet. My friends keep me busy enough as it is.

YES, JANE, THIS IS A GOOD ATTITUDE TO HAVE. KEEP IT UP.

GG: Speaking of which, I really need to go. I know you love to talk my ear off, and it's always a treat,

Pahahahaha.

but let's catch up later after the game starts, ok? GG: And if I do need your help, I promise I'll take you up on your offer! TT: I made several. Which one? GG: The one where you, hopefully not literally, offered to catch me in the crevice of a great big squishy butt! Hoo hoo hoo!

I fucking love this kid. She’s a little more assertive than John so far, though she’s also less mean-spirited. What will it be like when they meet? Can’t wait to find out! :D

Jane: Command Sebastian to lift fridge.

You order dear, sweet Lil' Sebastian to put his fidgetiness to constructive use. He is eager to assist, and lifts the appliance with ease.

Y’know, I was about to say something like, ‘how the hell is that tiny little robot supposed to lift the’ but then he did it. Welp. that certainly makes for a convenient escape route! After all this trouble Dad went through to keep Jane inside, she’s not going to get, like... sniped or something, is she?

He finds a note taped underneath the fridge. It seems to be addressed to you.

UGH I want to hate this bunny because Bro made it, but it is SO CUTE.

Fat chance, dad. This bird's gotta fly!!!

Jane, come ON, you’re courting danger now.

Never would have seen that one coming. (Jane, I’m about to throw a fridge through your wall.)

I like to imagine that the water pressure from the hose was at blasting power just before this panel, and drooped along with Dad’s confusion.

Jane: Throw down your hat in disgust.

Here it comes...

Wait for it...

You've been climbing your echeladder very gradually for various minor accomplishments here and there since you were 13. That was such a sweet textbook HAT POF, it earned you just enough to clear the next rung, FEDORAFLEDGLING. Nice going!

Huh, now this is a more interesting panel than you might think. First off, the mostly irrelevant details: Jane’s hat has what looks like a flag or a tag on it, instead of a feather, and her boondollar total is inching closer to 111,111,111 (damn, she’s rich). Now for the real meaty stuff.

The lowest level we can see on the echeladder, which, since the scrollbar is at the bottom, we can pretty safely assume to be the actual lowest level, is ‘Baby Ectobotananna’. This one took me a second to figure out, but then I realize it’s a combination of John’s ‘ectoBiologist’ and Jade’s ‘gardenGnostic’ via ‘botany’, and then ‘Nanna’.

Batterlass represents the obvious; she’s the heir to BCCorp, next in line after the Batterwitch.

‘Overbite Restart’, ha ha. John had ‘Overbite Upstart’.

‘Snorkbait Sporkplu’g, I have no idea, other than that it’s a call back to John’s ‘Sharkbait Sparkplug’.

‘Bespectacled Skeptic’ reflects what Bro was telling her, that she’s gotta believe more.

‘Haberdasher’s Daughter’, because Dad and hats.

‘Britches Healer’ connects back to the earlier rung ‘Britches Ripper’, and is either a reference to her being the Maid of Life, or else she just sews things a lot?

‘Sodajerk’s Confidante’ took a little digging, but it seems to be a Problem Sleuth reference.

‘Maid in the Shade’... this one’s interesting. It’s already lit up like she’s achieved the rung, and I wonder what prompted it. My first thought just looking at the name of it would be that she’d have to visit the Land of Wind and Shade, but obviously that has not happened. ...Unless she mysteriously achieved the rung shortly after her 13th birthday, when Nannasprite “”concurrently”” appeared in LOWAS.

‘Mourning Starlet’ is also a mystery. I get the pun, but who or what was she mourning? Her freedom? Poppop was long since dead, and her Dad is still alive.

The next rung up from the current ‘FedoraFledgling’ is ‘Heiress Sans Parent’ (a reference to John’s ‘Heir Transparent’), and if that isn’t leading, then... then... THEN I’LL THROW DOWN MY HAT! *levels up* Sadly, it looks like this Dad’s going to bite it too. T_T

And that’s all I’ve got for now!

The well traveled HAT shares in your glorious spoils. The battle-hardened accessory reaches dizzying new heights, leapfrogging from the DOUCHEBAG'S DOMESUCKER rung, to the rare, highly coveted MARTYR'S PISSCRADLE rung.

This is because FedoraFreak tried to use his hat to strain his piss, isn’t it. Did we ever find out what happened to ol’ FF? Did he go god tier?

How can these things be so fast on land???

JESUS.

...Now, wait a second. Gamzee never spent much time with his lusus because it was always out at sea, and I assumed that was because it couldn’t come on land. But if it could, and it just didn’t want to...

Oh no, it's a hostile swarm of those little fairy bulls! They are probably pissed off about the one you killed earlier. They have come for revenge!

Maybe the tinkerbulls and the goatdad will fight each other, allowing Jake to escape! Or... maybe the goatdad will follow in Gamzee’s footsteps and get all weirdly attracted to the tinkerbulls, and the tinkerbulls will get all shy and moe. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

OH MY GOD THE HUMANITY. HOW THEY EXACT THEIR POUND OF FLESH. OH GOD NO OH GOD OH GOD OH GOOOAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.

AHAHAHA, I love it.

> [S] ==>

Oh? Oho? What is this? *click*

...

This might just be the singular most beautiful moment in all of Homestuck. This is it. This is everything I’ve been waiting for. Everything I have ever wanted.

Nearby, someone or something bleats like a goat for strategic purposes. And also

Ironic purposes.

I can die happy now. Seriously, what was that, like, 3000 pages later?

Jane: Run.

The jig is so totally up. Nothing left to do but scurry your little legs to that box, snatch the mail and scram!

Ooh, are we going to get a strife? :D

God dammit, I love Dad so much. That his reaction to WORLD SHATTERING SHIT is just a mild ‘?’ and moving on just makes my fucking day.

Gasp!! He seems to be concerned about Jane being outside most of all! She’s totally gonna get sniped, isn’t she.

> [S] Jane: Get mail.

Wow, or that. I’m assuming Hussie’s pulling the whole ‘OH LOOK JOHN’S HOUSE EXPLODED, SURELY HE COULDN’T HAVE SURVIVED THAT’ thing again, but still, yikes. Poor Dad. :(

Also, if that ‘HOMESTUCK’ logo in the sky is an actual physical object like the words floating around Prospit and Derse are, can people see it? Does it spook the U.S. government? Have people been on manned missions to the Homestuck instead of the moon?

END OF ACT 6 ACT 1.

And that’s the end of this Act Act! (I think. I’m not gonna click that arrow just yet.) I know it makes for a short post, but I said I’d divide things up this way so that I didn’t get overwhelmed making an EOA reaction post for what is essentially half the comic, so there you have it! If you’d like, you can send me fanworks up through A6A1, though I warn you I’m still not done looking at all the stuff that got sent to me for A5A2.

Next up, Reactions, and then Act 6 Intermission 1! Or... maybe the other way around, if the Intermission deserves being included with A6A1′s impressions? We’ll see.

Until next time! ^0^

#NRHS #Nora reads Homestuck #Homestuck #Homestuck liveblog #Part 68 #Act 6 #A6A1

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shimmershae · 8 years ago

Text

Stupid Cupid, Chapter 2 (Caryl).

You guys, proof of the inspiring power of feedback right here.

This little chapter just wrote itself.

I hope enjoy it.

Mistakes are all mine. Posting this and crawling to my bed. This day has been a huge drain on what little energy I have. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

Stupid Cupid

xx2xx

Like a little yellow bumblebee buzzing happily from flower to flower the next morning during their shared breakfast shift, Beth moved from pan to pan, dipping a spoon in here, adding a pinch too much salt there, and generally bubbling with teenaged excitement. “A party! I think it’ll be fun. Don’t you?”

“Hmm,” Carol hummed, giving the young girl a gentle nudge and taking her place before she depleted their precious supply of the seasoning in her distraction.

Beth tilted her head, and her ponytail bobbed. “It’s weird, though. Daddy’s not even sure anymore if it’s February. It could be St. Patty’s Day for all we know.”

“Could be,” Carol agreed. Though time had taken on a different meaning for her altogether with the uprising of the dead and the loss of her girl, she was fairly certain Hershel’s estimations weren’t far off. They had to be in the right month, at least. When all was said and done, though, it didn’t much matter to her whatever month it was or wasn’t. She was still here and that counted the most.

“You going with anybody? Well, it’s not really like we’re going anywhere, but you know what I mean.”

Carol opened her mouth to answer her, but the teen didn’t give her a chance, rambling on with pink cheeks about how the new boy Zach had slipped her a handwritten note the night before in the dinner line. Never one to pass up a chance to tease a loved one, Carol congratulated the youngest Greene on the budding relationship. “Zach. Oh, Zach. He’s pretty cute.”

“Who’s pretty cute?” Carl asked with a grin, his sleepy baby sister cuddled in his arms.

His hair fell into his eyes, and Carol’s mother’s heart stuttered painfully at the hopeful look he cast Beth when the girl wasn’t looking. Stepping around the table to take Judith into her arms, she kissed the baby’s cherub cheeks. “Why, this little one, of course!”

Carl’s brows knit, and his nose wrinkled. “I thought you said…”

Daryl pushed past him, grabbed a bowl from Beth’s waiting hands. He didn’t bother with the spoon she offered him, and Carl’s uncomfortable line of questioning was thankfully lost when he grimaced with disgust at Daryl’s complete disregard for table manners. “What you staring at?”

Beth giggled and Carl moved along with an annoyed huff.

Carol hid her smirk in the baby’s soft cloud of strawberry hair and her wince when he stuck his fingers in his mouth and sucked the bits of oatmeal clean before reaching out and tweaking one of Judith’s socked feet. “You’re lucky.”

“How’s that?”

She simply shook her head, choosing not to elaborate, as some of the folks from Woodbury started to stream in, along with Maggie who joined her sister in serving the hungry newcomers. “Just are.”

Daryl’s lips quirked in acknowledgement, and he welcomed Judith into his one-armed embrace when the baby reached for him, grunting in his efforts to keep her greedy little fingers away from the remains of his own breakfast. It was a comical juggling act, and he finally gave up the foreign act of resisting the little girl.

His generosity (Carol couldn’t think of his soft spot for Lori’s little girl any other way) earned him a sticky little hand tangled in his hair and a gummy, drooling kiss to his scruff and Carol damn near melted on the spot before she snapped out of it and gently pried the infant from his arms. “You can’t eat Uncle Daryl for breakfast."

“Pity.”

Daryl’s ears immediately reddened, and an unconscious scowl soured his mouth.

His rough hand grabbed at her shirt in something akin to panic, and his bumbled proposition the night before suddenly started to make a whole lot more sense to Carol. Lifting a questioning brow at him, she received a tiny dip of his chin in answer. Satisfied, she slowly turned around, sweet smile in place, to greet the pretty brunette. “Karen, hi.” Judith continued to reach for Daryl, pushing her little toes into Carol’s belly and grabbing the low neck of her shirt in a failed attempt to gain leverage while the other woman fumbled her way through some awkward morning pleasantries.

“Carol, right?”

“That’s me.” Carol’s smile grew even bigger and brighter, if possible, in response to the amount of hero worship shining in the Woodbury woman’s eyes, and she softened a little bit, because she had certainly been there. Lived there, in fact. She really couldn’t blame the woman, and it wasn’t like she was some ogre or something. From all accounts, she was one of the more well-liked newcomers. All that said, Carol wasn’t a saint, and this whole situation was just rife with opportunity. Fumbling for the hand that still held her shirt in a death grip, she pulled it around to her front and held it there, tucked just beneath her breasts. Shooting off a tiny prayer that she wasn’t overstepping the bounds of the little arrangement they had agreed to and that Daryl couldn’t feel just how hard and erratically her heart was pounding, she staked her fake claim. “I’m sure you heard about the party in a few days?”

“The party? Yes, I did. It sounds like a great way for everybody to get to know each other better.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” From there, the conversation only grew more awkward, and by the time it was finished and Karen was gone, Carol was fit to be tied. Because Daryl was a solid wall of heat at her back, and she was well on her way to becoming a helpless puddle. Her only saving grace was the baby, whose frustration had reached its limit. Thankfully, Carl was on hand to reclaim his sister, and Carol willfully ignored the incredulous looks both Greene girls were giving her as she let herself sag back in Daryl’s unwitting embrace for a few seconds longer. “Think she got the message?”

Daryl’s answer was a low rumble that made goosebumps break out all over her skin. “Think it done the trick.” He withdrew his hand and awkwardly averted his eyes when she turned to face him, mumbled an expression of gratitude. “Thanks. This, uh. This one of your conditions?”

Carol’s fingers worked to adjust her shirt, where a fair amount of freckled cleavage was on display thanks to Judith’s earlier stubborn efforts, and bit her lip to hold back the smile that threatened, her cheeks flaming just as much or more so than Daryl’s own. “And if it is?”

Daryl rubbed a shaky hand over his face and swore.

Hooking a finger in the neck of his shirt, Carol let her smile reign free as she drew him closer and whispered, “Just remember, Pookie. I did warn you.”

#The Walking Dead #Caryl fanfiction #stuff that I write #I still think this is a little crack-ish #LOL #but I'm just the writer #hope you're enjoying this little foray of mine #Beth Greene #Carl Grimes #Judith Grimes #Maggie Greene #Karen #things that make me smile and cry #why do I do this to myself?

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