#yes this is based on the brutal mod

[caffeinehevsuit]

New Gordon dropped

( you can tell i love Gordon's. )

Feral !!

(+ Grey from the Grey Mod :> )

His eyes are actually green, he just wears red eye contacts cause they think it looks cool.

[sitp-recs]

My December Reads

‘Tis the season! 2024 flew by and was brutal to many of us, but the merry spirits are growing on me now that my favorite month has begun. I get a lot of my December magic out of the reading list I prepare in advance (check my 2023 list here) so I thought I’d share this in case anyone’s looking for something similar. This year I’ve reflected a lot, among other themes, about how to age gracefully and find courage to face our demons and take the unknown road (such a big Drarry reference, tysm Turn) so I was looking for healing, contemplative vibes. Some of these I revisit religiously every year, others are new additions based on recent reads and cravings. Even the fics that are not set around Christmastime evoke the bittersweet joy of letting go and having faith in new beginnings. I hope they also resonate with you, and help us navigate the new year with more wisdom and compassion for ourselves. Enjoy!

❄️ the keys to your kingdom by thistle_verse (E)

Hit-Wizards, fuck buddies to lovers, feelings realization

❄️ Tidings of Comfort by @blamebrampton (G)

Redemption arc, contemplative, pre-slash

❄️ More Than That by joosetta (E)

Hogwarts Professors, older Drarry, banter

❄️ fine i'll hold my breath / til i forget it's complicated by teatrolley (NR)

Friends with benefits to lovers, light angst, slice of life

❄️ All Roads Lead Home by @dracogotgame (G)

The Weasleys, down & out Draco, getting together

❄️ Yours Truly by @skeptiquewrites (M)

Accidental fake dating, weddings, long-distance

❄️ Turn and Face the Strange (time may change me) by @punk-rock-yuppie (T)

Post-war melancholy, unusual jobs, enemies to friends to lovers

❄️ O Come, All Ye Faithful by @toomuchplor (E)

Vicar Draco, Christianity, established relationship

❄️ Waking Up Slow by @sweet-s0rr0w, @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm (E)

Shop owner Draco, summer romance, light angst

❄️ Take A Chance On Me by @mintawasalreadytaken (E)

Down & out Draco, muggle music, angst with a happy ending

❄️ Knead by laughingd0g (E)

Coffee shop AU, food porn, farm life

❄️ Azoth by @lol-zeitgeistic (E)

8th year slow burn, MoD Harry, pining Harry

✍️ Little Gods by @the-starryknight (M, WIP)

Mystery fic, corrupted Ministry, time travel

✍️ First Watch of Night by @tackytigerfic (E, WIP)

Voldemort Wins AU, multiverse, Wizarding politics, time travel

[dustedmagazine]

Ty Segall — Three Bells (Drag City)

Ty Segall has never been shy about his affinity for King Crimson . His heaviest band, Fuzz, covered “21st Century Schizoid Man” a decade ago, amplifying its stately complexities to an airport tarmac roar . His latest album, the double LP Three Bells, hews to a quieter folky sound, but you can hear a homage to the prog godfathers in its tricky chord changes and multi-parted compositions.

Consider, for instance, the shimmering jangle that kicks off the title track, Segall warbling plaintively over a mesh of folk-leaning guitar play . But the melody takes a half-step, jazzy turn, breaking out of what you expect into jazzier, more free form trajectories, but that’s just a taste. A mid-cut break slips further out into the stratosphere, quickening the pace, fracturing the vocals and layering heavy metal guitars with pristine folk-derived harmonies . It’ll remind you not just of Crimson, but related bands and their prog rock opuses—Yes’ “Roundabout” or Emerson Lake & Palmer’s “Lucky Man.” 

That’s quite a turnaround for an artist who cut his teeth on brief, incendiary garage stomps like “The Drag” but Segall’s influences have always been broader and deeper than skeptics acknowledge . He’s as deep into kraut rock as he is in mod 1960s psych, as committed to arena-style rock and metal as to Cavestomp primitives . His last few albums have thrived under limitations—no guitars for First Taste, a fixation on Harmonizers for Harmonizer, a home-taper’s acoustic fuzz for Hello, Hi .  Three Bells is not one of these conceptually defined albums . Recorded mostly solo, with Segall on guitar and drums, it pushes classic guitar rock into complicated corners, with choral motets sidling up to blistering guitar solos, noodle electric keyboard textures glittering atop blasts of pared down percussion .

Segall brought in his wife Denée to assist on five of these tracks, including the fuzz-bombed highlight “Eggman” where multiple guitars saw in from all angles as Segall chants in monotone . It’s hard to overstate how bouncy and marvelous the drumbeat is or how infectious this brutally stripped back song is .  And yet even this one disappears into a vortex, swamped by noise like the end of “A Day in the Life.” 

Emmett Kelley also played bass on a few . You can hear Kelley bobbing in and around the chilled, fusion jazz drum break of “Denée,” holding down an increasingly free-form exploration of rhythmic transport . Or grounding the swaggering Motown pop string section in the sweeping “My Room.”

The most entangled and intricate cut on this disc, though, is likely “Move” the one track credited not just to Segall but the whole Ty Segall Band (Ben Boye, Mikal Cronin, Emmett Kelly, Charles Moothart and Segall himself.)  Denée chants in a cool deadpan, as all manner of guitar-based ideas zing off in the background . The tempo changes—as well as the temperature, with metal and rock flaring out of krautish repetition—but the song bangs on . It’s complicated but in no way unreadable, a pleasure for all its multiplicity.

Jennifer Kelly

[jlf23tumble]

Bless you, @alienfuckeronmain, love these games!

Relationship Status: Third rail status, bb!

Favorite Color: Stealing your answer on hooker's green because I'll take green in all her forms, but for real, how can you pick any color??? I feel them all every day!

Favorite Food: Varies on mood, but it pretty much always involves cheese.

Song Stuck in My Head: Vampire, Ms. Olivia Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrodrigo

Last thing you Googled: How long prohibition lasted (I'm in a food-related affinity group at work, and every Friday, the mod sends out a food-related quiz that I tend to try and cheat via google search)

Time: 11:31 PM

Dream Trip: Lately, I'm feeling the European urge, to see friends and family, and most of that is places I've already been, but in terms of dream trips, still very much want to go to India, Egypt, Mexico City

Last Thing You Read: Carrie Soto Is Back (bb)

Last Book You Enjoyed Reading: It was a bit mixed because it was a deep dive into Julia Morgan's work, which I loved/enjoyed, but the ending is just brutally sad about how she died.

Favorite Thing to Cook/Bake: I'm so into things that are a one (pot) and done, so I've perfected the basics like a good Bolognese, a roast chicken, a whole pile of enchiladas.

Favorite Craft to do in Your Free Time: Anything photography related!

Most Niche Dislike: I'm gonna go based on profession, and as an editor, I know I'm supposed to be some kind of asshole word nazi about typos in the wild, etc., but I truly don't give a shit when I'm off the clock, and it annoys the fuck out of me when anyone professional writers/editors get so goddamned annoyed about it, people make mistakes when they're smashing keys, we ALL do, who gives a shit, let it goooooooooo. Pay me? I'll care. Don't pay me? I won't.

Opinion on Circuses: Human performers? Yes, I'm assuming they consented. Animal circuses? Not so much, plus they smell (unrelated: I love how fucking random this ?? is)

Do You Have Any Sense of Direction: I SURE DO, if I've been there, I will get us in/out, if I haven't, pam will get us thru, and I can read her like a map

I should tag a bunch of people, but I feel like I left a TON of people off last time, so if you see this, PLEASE DO THIS and act as if I tagged you. Hey, you can make it a niche dislike that I didn't at you if you like, I just wanna see!

[vishanka]

Chris Walker headcanons

I like the "big guy Walker" but was quite fascinated with the earlier versions until his final model was created. I quote from the archive of the creator: "I made him feel more soldier ish by adding some military gear on the character, stuff he could’ve scavenged after his encounters with the different security guards and SWATS of the Murkoff Corporation. I wanted the player to know just by one look that he was chased by something military” Based on that and the in-game quotes: - He was a enhanced interrogator in military police (yes, torture, his voice files suggest) - He was very good at it - He's not sadistic, but he has no remorse either. He does what needs to be done and is willing to do anything to get it done - He's very efficient and a no-bullshit guy - Ruthless and brutal - He never gets emotional or angry - Unwavering patience and determination - Very matter-of-fact and calm - He doesn't need to shout, his stare are enough to teach any man fear - Discipline is paramount - Very confident and authoritarian, nothing can surprise him - The experiments conducted by Murkoff improved his vision. He and the other Variants can see better in the dark with their white retinas than a normal human, but bright light hurts their eyes Last but not least a picture, combined one of the first verion body with the last version head. That’s basically what he looks like in my head now. I would LOVE a mod for that in the game...

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

Expressing Some Thoughts—“Book Club”

I don’t normally comment publicly about negative issues, but this is one that I have so many thoughts about—as an outsider hearing about it but knowing the server atmosphere that led to it. Just watching the book club drama situation grow as word continues to spread. I knew that this was going to happen when I first heard about it and delaying decisions about it won’t help. Believe me, I’m a mod on a large forum and we’ve been putting out “dumpster fires” since I was promoted. Some of those dumpster fires had been brewing long before that. Things came up that put the mod team under fire by the members of the forum and it was a chaotic and heated mess. This book club thing is no different. It’s become that heated and chaotic mess.

Like I said above, I don’t normally express my thoughts like this in public, but based on what I remember about the mod team in this particular server, this fiasco was the least surprising thing I ever expected and that fact that it’s grown to this proposition…there’s no more sweeping under the rug. I—as someone who was once a server member but never a mod—knew BEFORE this that there were problems. I am so sorry to all the creators, especially writers, who have been affected by this and that it took something like this to show how messed up the mod “team” is there and that serious changes need to be made..and have been needed for a long time coming.

I stand by what I said in my last post about the new tag on AO3. Heck, as a new person in the fandom three years ago, I was looking for a community to join and turned to fanfiction. I once found a join link to this Discord server THROUGH FANFICTION. I knew absolutely nothing else about “Miraculous Fanworks” other than the link I found in stories. Now, that little tag “Do Not Use For Miraculous Fanworks Book Club” is more prominently displayed on fics than a join link. Whether the mods and admins realize it, that tag could very well be the first thing a reader sees about the server. For someone new to the fandom, that might be the first impression they get about Miraculous Fanworks. If they see that tag, that might lead them to ask other long-time members of the fandom. Is this the type of first impression that you want to give?

Hate to say it, but…if someone asks me about this server…I’m going to be brutally honest in my feedback because this is not the first time that the decisions of the mod/admin team there have disappointed me. However, this is the first time that it’s affected more than just one “former server member”. So, yes, I’m going to give honest feedback and answers because creators have the right to know what type of community they’re joining.

In fact, I might be inclined to steer them to the Miraculous Writers’ Guild and Miraculous Writers’ Circle servers. Both have proven to cultivate a positive creative community and I look forward to the discussions and server events in both.

Do better. Support creators. Encourage creativity. Do better.

[nym-wibbly]

The seminal 1984 drama Threads is getting a rerun on BBC 4 and iPlayer tonight at 22:00.

This has always been one of those line in the sand dramas: you had to be there to 'get it', did you see it when it aired, did it scare you to your bones because it - at the end of the cold war with its brinkmanship and rhetoric - still seemed one breath away from becoming reality. The city chosen to play out this nighmare as drama was Sheffield, more recently the home base and setting for Jodie Whittaker's Doctor Who.

This is the fear my generation grew up with, and Threads made it... oh so real. I was 10. I saw it change the minds - overnight - of complacent adults who were sure "we" would "win" a nuclear conflict. That having US nuclear bases on our soil meant - insanely - that we were "safe", not an ideological target as well as a strategic one.

I lived in a first-strike target area, surrounded by UK and US airbases and MOD admin facilities. I grew up knowing that too. Gasping when jets scrambled and shook the windows with a sonic boom, wondering if this was it. Knowing I'd be wiped off the map if someone in a cushy office somewhere in the stratosphere of international politics blinked. And I was grateful to know that I wouldn't survive that first wave, because that was not a tomorrow I ever wanted to live to see. At 10, I knew that like cold, hard comfort. The generation who'd weathered the Cuban missile crisis - my parents among them - had grown numb to it.

Threads made everyone see what it would be like to survive the first wave, and that the standard advice to shelter in place and wait for official assistance and the resumption of normal services was the wizard behind the curtain. Showmanship, propaganda, misdirection - not reality.

It's history now and Threads is an important piece of the historical archive. Important in entertainment history in a way few other TV dramas can boast. Everyone who saw it remembers it, and remembers the next day when we all had to look each other in the eye, scared and humbled. That's history too. But nuclear attack is only ever a couple of power-crazed autocrats surrounded by yes-people - or even just some badly maintained technology and a miscommunication - away from becoming all our tomorrows. My home is no longer a first-strike target. I'd live to see that unthinkable tomorrow.

'Influential' isnt even the word for Threads. It changed a nation's mindset in one, brutal, educational strike. Drama matters. Threads, nightmare that it was, is one of the reasons I'm so, so passionate about stories.

[galerymod]

There is a film about an artificial intelligence network that has finally determined that humans are the biggest pest and then wants to eliminate or contain them.

At OpenAI, AI now also creates videos

Pioneer OpenAI presents another advance in the development of artificial intelligence: new software can produce short videos based on text specifications. The first sample sequences of a woman in Tokyo, for example, are astonishing.

What is interesting overall is that no matter what risk technology mankind is involved in, whether in chemistry, biology, atomic physics and now AI, it is always carried out according to the same procedure: first do it, then think about it and then realise that the development can be misused.

Chemistry = chemical warfare weapons

Biology = biological warfare weapons

Atomic physics = nuclear weapons

AI = dangerous real-time altered reality applications, AI-controlled weapons technology, sociological cultures economic changes to the entire world of work ,.......

But now to the present

OpenAI has developed an application with which you can create a completely Ki-controlled reality.

This reality, which is not a reality, can no longer be distinguished from reality.

Open IA explains that you cannot create politicians with the application and embed them in a fake reality in order to abuse it for your own benefit.

What rubbish, why do you need politicians if you can't create real events which you can then use to incite ethnic groups against each other in order to pursue your own goals. The seizure of power on the basis of the disintegration of national unity.

Yes, next to it we have a few nice films that are completely harmless - no, not really.

How about the text entry: in the bible belt of the united states of america a trump supporter is brutally killed at a por life demonstration by three woke liberal demonstrators.

Or

This here in the middle of Jordan a fundamentalist Jewish settler shoots a group of Palestinian refugees.

Only stories made up by us which can of course be brought to life by a AI to the detriment of us all and to the benefit of a few who only pursue their own goals which are not in harmony with humanity.

And it will happen whether you mark it or not - it will become abuse. And the makers will, as always, not take responsibility but only generate money for the benefit of their shareholders.

As always, no one bears the responsibility and we all bear the risks!

It's time to create rules that everyone should abide by and thereby recognise those who violate them. Let's do nothing about it and if we do then only half-heartedly.

So these AI "impacts" will happen and we will all suffer as a result.

It will change the world and not for our benefit, but for the benefit of individuals.

The drone with facial recognition and AI as a weapon, the social score idea coupled with ki to dominate a people,.....

Hooray and this is more modern..... Insider 🌋🌋👍

mod

AI could support us in the fight against climate change, but that is not the business model that the makers of ki have in mind. Neither technology nor ki can solve the problems of climate change, both parts can only help to slow down the rise in temperature.

Political will and social responsibility based on action are the foundations for securing our future. AI can improve the world for us, but then societies have to be reorganised so that everyone benefits. AI tax for jobs that are lost due to AI, basic income, voluntary social work with responsibility paid from AI foundations, AI companies that take on social responsibility. .......

[standingonnewgrounds]

In chapter 33 of Rest From Madness, I mentioned in the notes that the mod idea (Perduto 2.0) that I used as the base for the couple of chapters has now changed drastically (Perduto 3.0). I decided to write about what that mod idea was supposed to be like because it has since been scrapped.

You see, it was during the time that I realized that it’s possible that the red eye is probably not related to the Greater Good after all, but before we knew that it was actually IRIS. I remembered another mod that has a similar eye: the QT mod.

Yes, I know that the eye and Brutality labs are not the same thing, but I decided to connect them anyway. Maybe I made the labs a sub-division of the red eye thing? I’m not sure as I keep most of the ideas in my head.

I also looked at the hidden files of the QT mod, and decided to come up with conclusions on my own. Before joining the creators’ Discord channel where more information were laid out that could debunk some of my theories that influenced this idea.

You see, I thought that maybe Ashley, who is from the hidden files, is actually dead and is possessing QT for some reason. Whatever the reason is, maybe because she had to. I even made up a scene on how she can’t go back to her family in this form and everything while looking at her own grave!

Anyways, the mission this time is “get out,” while Tricky’s rescuing is still there as a side mission. The party this time consists of Hank, the Auditor, BF, QT and KB.

So yes, the plot is similar to Perduto. One way or another, the team gets trapped in the secret organization, try to escape and also save Tricky for some reason, the Auditor comes in to help in order to atone for their sins (while trapped inside of the halo), but unlike Perduto, it also revolves around uncovering the truth of QT and her secret identity of her being Ashley and how she died.

The backstory is that Ashley talked to KB because she was bored or something while working in Brutality Labs. KB doesn’t seem to be interested, but Ashley still tries talking to the killer robot every single day. One day, KB busted out from his cell, killing multiple people… including Ashley, which turned out, is something KB heavily regrets because he had come to care about her, and he realized that too late.

As a result, the workers removed KB’s legs (that was before I knew that he never had any in the first place), and replaced them with QT, which contained Ashley’s soul.

And so, it’s Ashley/QT’s job to pacify KB, and act as a friend.

I replaced all of that plot with something that only involves Hex, Tricky and the Auditor and no one else, since as it turns out, that wasn’t what actually happened. Plus, it focused too much on QT’s hypothetical past instead of Tricky’s rescue, and it’s too convoluted for me.

Then what did happen to Ashley? I guess you will find out in the sequel of the QT mod: the Inhuman mod.

How about Perduto 3.0? Well, I’ll say this: it’s a prequel to Lost and Found.

[autumnbrambleagain]

i know i’m supposed to be the biggest morrowind stan, but i’m gonna say it

its combat is bad

and i don’t mean just the “you click attack and sometimes you hit and sometimes you don’t” no that’s fine on the surface level that’s fine

it’s that skill ONLY affects chance to hit. damage is entirely dependent on your weapon stats and strength score.

if i have 40 skill in a weapon, i will, very roughly, hit 40% of the time. it’s affected by fatigue up and down, and agility and luck, and countered by the enemy’s agility and luck and sanctuary effects, but that’s it.

i have a sword that does 1-30 damage. it does 1 if i tap attack, and 30 if i hold it down for a second. every other second, i initiate a diceroll that’s a binary of 30 damage or not.

every other second, the enemy initiates a diceroll that’s a binary of whatever damage they have, or not, with  no middle ground.

this means enemies with giant fucking axes are absurdly dangerous, because if they hit you once, just once, just get one lucky roll, they can instantly knock you to your knees and do a followup and kill you

but more importantly, it means progression in the game is busted

i made MDMD to try and fix the low curve of how underskilled most enemies are, but once enemies get to a certain point, it stops MATTERing. 60 skill + decent agility and luck means they will land nearly every hit, unless you have high agility. all skill over 60 does is decrease the occasional misses.

the damage curves incredibly hard because of it. very high level enemies will be much more dangerous, but in truth, once an enemy has a skill of like, 60 + decent agility, they are already at the point where they’re very likely to hit you uunless you’re stacking agility and sanctuary yourself

and because damage is static, and only modified by 50% up and down by strength, the enemy’s danger is almost entirely tied to their weapon

which makes for very uneven gameplay

i think the 4nm mod overhaul actually ties damage to a random scale based on multiple factors, but it’s also Very Russian and does a TON of wild extreme stuff and while very customizable i haven’t played with it much and i’m not sure if it FIXES the problems here

it’s not that sometimes you swing at an enemy and miss

it’s that when you get to weapon skill 60, you will HIT more often than you will miss by a significant margin

any weapon skill over 60 is kind of just icing on the cake. it means the game scales from weapon skill 20 (enemy unlikely to hit you) to 40 (likely to put up a good fight) to 60 (more than half their swings will connect for static damage)

ultimately damage should have been tied to skill, honestly, yes. a binary “do you hit” is meaningless when you fulfill the “yes” category more often than not at medium level. you don’t get a sense of progression because if i attack you with my big two-handed sword, the only thing skill affects is how often it connects for maximum damage--2/4 times, or 3/4 times?

a character at weapon skill 50 plays very similar to 60, and you only feel a significant change in 70+ if you are fighting guys from the poorly balanced expansions, or bosses in MDMD

what it means

is that morrowind has a difficutly curve shaped like this

it isn’t bad because “i swung and hit him but nothing happened”

it’s bad because the gap between “i keep swinging and nothing happens” and “i swung and hit him and did all my damage and he died” is an incredibly narrow field

and it works in reverse, where at low levels even middling enemies with a decent weapon can WRECK you in three seconds

and at medium levels, you’ll probably just always lock them first

that’s not getting into how exploitable enchantables and potions are even without like explicit exploits

the other side of this is that skyrim and oblivion fucked it up in the wrong direction, where combat, instead of like in morrowind which, at least, feels “realistic” (in the sense of verisimilitude) where an exchange happens and is OVER in a few brutal seconds,

in skyrim and oblivion you. you smack the enemy with your toy sword over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. and because they politely scaled up with you, the damage necessary to kill them will be pretty much pegged to your skill and weapon, so it’s usually mostly the same unless youu’re fighting the rare unleveled enemy

i don’t, i cannot, i do not have the skill to fix this. making every attack connect but making the damage scale based on skill instead just means enchanted weapopns become that much more powerful without their damage ranges also being adjusted.

i’d love to not be still into this 20 year old game but there’s nothing fucking better that’s come along in 20 years. t

thank you todd howard, thank you for deciding that fantasy rpgs should be a genre mostly about you wandering around a dull boring universe that exists entirely to cater to your power fantasy as you collect weapons of 4 tiers of power and then you have the biggest nicest sword and you smack the enemy with it 30 times to kill them.

thank you emil pagliarulo for deciding that a game’s storyline is the least important or interesting part about it and it’s fine to just assume the player is a fucking dumbass and override their pplayer’s agency to tell the shitty story you think is good because you have no ppeers because there’s like 2 other companies that make western open world rpg sandbox dollhouse games these days

fuck you bethesda

[border-spam]

Does troy really have a split jaw or is that fanon?

It's total fanon!

The design of the split lines across his cheekbones and chin coupled with the cheek clips and v shaped hinge outline next to his ears lead to a lot of people coming to that same outcome, that there is something up with his mouth from a prosthetic/mod standpoint.

So much of his design is never mentioned once or referenced in any way (hightech spinal rig with tattoos under it, neuro connector, mech arm that's much older and doesn't seem related to the spine and neuroport, implants on bicep, face mod etc) that like Tyreen's scars and possible lower body Siren markings, fandom took over when it came to coming up with logical explanations for 'em.

This actually touches ground with some Ao3 comments I wanted to share as they are all Leech Lord compliant, so I'll list them here alongside links to the fics they were related to (note warnings!)

You leave no avenue for characterization unexplored. Troy's facial prostheses finally receiving backstory is amazing

- Maw (Gore/Bodyhorror)

I LOVE the idea of it being not just decorative shit on his face, but my MO for any content I make is always based around asking why, over and over, and trying to make sense of what material I'm using in the first place. The modded mouth is a popular piece of fanon but you know... why? Why would he do that shit to himself. WHY would he want to be grotesque, why would he be chasing the reaction people would have to it when canonically he seems to really not be interested in fan attention the same way Tyreen is, what's the difference to him between being adored as his persona or being lusted after as a monster, etc. I just love deep-diving into the logic behind character and world building? It's what adds meat to the bone for me.

Big 'ol character and worldbuilding / lore responses list under the cut -

He could afford better robots but these ones UNDERSTAND Ty, don't you get it?

- Good night in (tooth rotting fluff)

Hey just because it's mangled and broken, and can't perform its intended function to a degree expected of it by everyone around it... and it's got rusty sharp bits it accidentally hurts you with sometimes... and it's cranky but it doesn't mean it... and sometimes it errors out in a way that's mildly disturbing in a way you can't place.. uh.. doesn't mean you should just GIVE UP ON IT you know? He can fix them :) They will be fine :) No one should just throw away something that's trying so hard just because it's damaged... haha... :')

It's so hard seeing how much they tear each other down when they're the only thing they have left. And what a poor self-image Tyreen has beyond all that glitter and bluster...

- Wolf in sheep's clothing

The twins function well enough as a unit till tensions rise, and I was trying to seed in The Leech's influence on them in earlier work like this too - towards anyone else Ty would become MORE aggressively confident, more assured in her complete and utter dominance of the situation, her flawlessness, but against Troy who see's her for what she is, it turns inwards and eats at her instead of lashing outwards. He switches from relatively submissive around her to almost surgical levels of dissection, he knows exactly how to go for the jugular with words, and doesn't hold back. She's The Leech's mouth but he's its eyes and it's only when they lose control emotionally enough for it to claw to the surface of their psyches that you get an idea of how much it really affects them individually. GB had an absolute goldmine on their hands here of cosmic/body horror and the concept of toxic family when all you have is each other, there's so much to work with, and I figure it's a factor in why some people still really enjoy messing around with Calypso content.

I like how you allow Troy to be a disabled character, how his congenital defects and prosthetics colour his outlook and appear in ways big and small in all these vignettes. It's easy, I think, to see him as largely untroubled by his health apart from when he needs a charge from Tyreen in the game, but you allow him to struggle with his weakness.

- Chronic (Drug use)

I'm really glad to hear that's coming through in the writing because it's something I noticed a lot too. Very often when Troy, or other characters canonically disabled / chronically unwell are written it's "told" and not "shown". Chronic pain, illness, it's not something that is just a little tickbox in a life or some descriptive terms added to a character synopsis, it's something you live and deal with. There are bad days. There are times it is a negative that has to be worked around or faced in ways that aren't pleasant. It doesn't make you lesser or weak to have times where illness does leave you unable to function to a level you want to, it's not a failure for you to be unable to perform tasks when a disability or flair up means it's not viable. I feel personally that by showing scenes like this where his health and body issues do have a very visceral and impossible to ignore the effect on his ability to function, and going through his mental processes of dealing with and managing them, it brings the character across as stronger than if he never seemed to be shown dealing with symptoms or weaknesses. People are more than their disabilities and conditions, those aren't just kinda taglines to add onto a character's description and then never address. I feel like doing that in a way undermines what people deal with who manage chronic illness, pain, and who have disabilities that affect their daily lives negatively. Appreciating the effort it takes to manage them is important.

What I really like about these is that you can really understand as a reader how their dynamic must have evolved. How even before Leda's death Tyreen would have felt demonized while Troy got the attention because of his condition, because he was less willful.

- Starlight, Moonbright

Ah man, absolutely - and that shit stayed with them. It wasn't his fault and he never wanted it, but of course their parents would have had their extremely ill child at the forefront of their thoughts, especially during weeks when he was.. bad. Tyreen by nature even without The Leech's influence is a little attention seeker, she'd be the life of any party and she BLOSSOMS if she's got the spotlight, but as a little kid who's got literally no one but her parents and her brother, and who all three of which can't give her nearly as much time as she deserved? That's rough. That's really unfair. That coupled with The Leech's warping effect on their egos as they grew up and the bitterness and resentment they harbored in different ways created a reverse dynamic. She'd never be out of the Galaxy's attention again, and he'd have no choice but to take his rightful place in her shadow.

I love how you illustrate both how much more, and yet how much less Troy is now. How the blameless child, full of potential, is inextricably linked to the brutal, larger-than-life avatar he fashions.

- DeLeon ( Graphic Violence / Gore / Hallucinations)

He's molded the monster he is now out of the bones of the man he should have been - there's no going back really. There's nothing left to go back to. He broke Troy DeLeon apart to build the persona that acts like an iron lung now, suffocating him breath by breath while forcing him to still take them. That life is over, he killed it before it had a chance, but the idea of it is still there in his subconscious. Somewhere in the absolute trainwreck of Troy's brain is the tiny, flickering belief that maaaaaybe one day this will all be over and he can shuck off the bracer and spines, peel off all the shit he's covered his skin with, and just go back to not being Calypso. DeLeon here isn't some aspect of his mental state or his sins haunting him - it's The Leech, spitting venom at a host it loathes in something that's not sound or comprehensible language. His subconscious has just translated it into something it can understand - his greatest regret.

On if Borderlands Humans originated on Earth -

There's a really tenuous link between BL verse and rEarth, but it's there and can't be ignored. The cultures, accents, terminologies, so many are Earth specific despite these people being spread across galaxies, so hell yes - Earth as an emergence point makes total sense. The next question then, is why is it never mentioned - and you can cover for that with a lot of things like say, tt was so long ago that it's not relevant to anything that would ever be discussed, or it could be a mass evacuation from a catastrophe there is little record of now. I like to go with something along those lines, that the first human Siren host emergence on earth just absolutely decimated the planet. Like, we were doing fine till this random woman somewhere in the ass-end of nowhere develops weird markings overnight, then goes apocalyptic. The first Leech maybe, not understanding her powers and having them rip across continents in a spread of crackling electric death that only left husked shells of plants and animals in its wake, or the first Firehawk who went nuclear and burned the sky, or the first Voidgrasp who lost control and began to collapse the planet's core - some extreme shit that had humans fleeing en masse with barely any preparation and HUGE swathes of history and knowledge left behind. That would cover so many social things surviving into the BL verse, cultures, accents, cooking, that shit comes with us regardless of what we were able to throw into escape ships. Like so much data would be stored on any tech and data arrays within the vessels people would use to leave a dying planet even in an insane rush, but that shit waters down over time - if you're farming barely edible plants on some planet that smells like farts, are you really gonna be that stressed about teaching your kids history from a lost planet when your current concerns are not being eaten by something with 19 legs and 4 buttholes? Don't think so.

On if the other Siren entities are as influential to their hosts as The Leech -

I touch on it a wee bit throughout LL, but the others are FAR more passive and meld more to their host's whims. The Firehawk Siren wouldn't.. like.. care? If the host was burning down a planet or fighting off an evil corporation? They are removed from any nonsense happening on this side, they might not even really be able to tell, it's like asking an amoeba or a collection of sentient atomic particles what its opinion is on Brexit. That's not really its priority. The Leech is so aggressive in its control of the twins and desperation to drive them towards an outcome it desires only cause it's split, broken, removed from the song, and completely lost. We're talking a caged, half-mad animal removed from its natural environment and left totally isolated from its own kind for millennia. It's in pain, it's confused, it wants to find its way back to the song and the others and where it belongs, but it's stopped by a barrier it can't comprehend ( the twins and being ripped between them), so in its impotent rage it feeds back that hatred onto them. It's not really sentient in the way we would describe functional intelligence, but it wants, and craves, and FEELS. And it feels very, very angry.

Big thanks to @undergoingcalibrations for talking through so much of this with me!

Asks are Open!

[khimkito]

im taking a rest for a couple of days, social battery is at zero

venting under cut, there are some verbal abuse, victimblaming and transphobia that come up (i am not sure that my situation counts as these things but better safe than sorry.....) so be careful

i don't need comforting, i just know that there are people who like to listen to others talk about their lives when they say something is wrong, so here is story time!!!!!!! just need to scream somewhere

background: two years ago i was working as a mod in a little game. there was a huge conflict between fractions and i was heavily involved and a Person made an appearance and started escalating the conflict by turning people against me. Person was 21-23 y o, I was 16, almost everyone were minors as well, varying from 14 to 17 we were actively hating each other for a month, afterwards we said "wait..... wait but you're a cool kid i want to be your friend actually" and played minecraft and bonded and through out the talks something about that Person was coming up....... Person was manipulating these minors to send me hate and outright bully.......? its not uh. its not the first time this happened to me (im just that hatable ig) so i just went on living, quickly forgetting

BUT a couple of days ago a girl contacted me because she was writing a huge complaint about that Person to the chief admin and she asked for the dialogues i had about that Person and i found myself incredibly uncomfortable just thinking about what had been happening for those two years and. uh. turned out i repressed A LOT

1) i was not the only victim in a sense that were was another Someone who also had everyone turned against them by Person. and i was scrolling through our messages and there were outsiders sending them evidence of Person just denigrating Someone in a private groupchats and i had to hold Someone's hand through their borderline panic attacks. i was reading the messages yesterday and it was just fucked up i felt incredibly bad and angry

2) Person was . i dont know. Alright maybe the correct term here is Humiliating Misgendering...? There were cis girls who Person knew who went by he/him and Person had no problem with that but when it came to me it went from she/her (which were based on PHOTOS OF ME PERSON WAS KEEPING. I WAS 16.) to it/its (in russian it is even more dehumaniring bc оно is never used to refer to a living thing) which was based on a court writing "he" in a verdict of a serial killer sadistic woman in 1768. i as well believe that my actions of being annoying are comparable to brutal murders of 30+ people!

3) Person actively discusses me in private groupchats TO THIS DAY. it was two years. i made up with everyone who is still around from that initial fraction conflict. in fact, it was one of the bullies who sent me the most recent messages, and a girl writing a complain together with the Leader of the opposing fraction both are my friends and previosly were hostile. Person is the only one of them who keeps spreading hate and actually turned against them too and blames them for things Person coaxed them to do! (it was some calual game rules breaks but still. the moment these guys couldn't be used against me because they befriended me they were thrown under the bus. I Am The Unlimate Minion Stealer. all of your evil minions will be mine through the power of threating them as equals hahahahhahhahhaahaa)

4) they fucking enjoy what they do. they say "yes i am manipulating them (MINORS) lightly" like a cartoon villain who is sharing their evil plan. they gloat about how they like the hate they recieve. but when confronted about using kids they say "well that 15 yo can manupulate any person they want!" (its about Someone) "well that 16 yo is also a manipulator" (its about the Leader). i am sorry but you are 20+ oh wait. you actually said to my face that there are people who are so childrish they can be considered minors even if they are 25, what was that about...?

5) Person repeatedly made grand statements of "i am trying to tolerate you and it is you who fucks up every time. i really want to be neutral!" but they would always side with my abuser (um. another story for another time) and it would just make me deeper internalize that i am a bad person who gets on others nerves and is undeserving of good treatment so i would Stay longer because there was no way of changing anything, just enduring it. The timing of this was funny actually, because it was when the exile arc was coming to an end and c!tommy ran away and i went to an english camp and it was also snowy and far far away and it felt like an escape (i had like 2 hours of free time every day and it was enought to watch a stream/vod so you can say i had no internet) and holy fuck did c!tommys story helped me undo some of the damage and at least stop thinking of everyone as an enemy who wears a facade

well. back to the complaint yeah? it was sent. and it did nothing

"Person was a valuable worker of a mod team. Person tries to change, the situations you send us are very old and also dealt with. Such drama just ruins the community please don't spread it outside the mod team" as of today, Person keeps their position of athority

[genesisrhapsodyoffire]

Hey yall

Some advice from your friendly neighborhood dude who just had the most horrific experience with a """"""mental illness""""" group and has been part of way too many tumblr sponsored mental illness groups and is thinking of starting one for a teen outreach this summer for at risk kids.

If you join a discord server for mental health support for people with trauma based disorders, here are some RED FLAGS

- if they try to tell you you're not allowed to mention the word trauma because trauma is too triggering to say. This happened to me. I mentioned I had a trauma based disorder and someone was like "you better spoiler that word" uh buddy.... Maybe a discord chat isn't where you should be doing self help then. Online free therapy is a thing..... This is not me shitting on triggers. This is me saying if you haven't even hit a point where you can say the clinical word for what you've been through, peer support is not what you should be doing.

- instead of telling people privately "hey ____ upset me/ hurt me/ was not appropriate for this server or channel" the mods and other members do shit like attack you publicly and tell you that you act inappropriately when you're in... You know... A place where people with trauma are and many people with trauma don't always respond well under public pressure. One on one 99/100 times is better than a public confrontation for the vast majority of people.

- the blacklist reads like one of those parody DNIs. This is not a diss on unusual triggers. But this is a diss on people who are like "yeah, we will all be passive aggressive and such if in your intro you mention that you have an experience we don't like". This is also on the same note as the first one. If you have enough trauma that things that would either a) commonly come up in your group topic of choice (if u are a bunch of superhero fans who are also mentally ill etc) or b) common words or something else would disturb you so badly that you're going to have a breakdown? Once again, maybe large servers of people aren't for you, because when 25+ people who all have 25+ words to censor come together, that can mean a blacklist of 400+ words/phrases sometimes (25 to the power of 2 is 625 so this is not an exaggeration) and that is not practical in the long run. I'm not saying accommodations don't matter, but I'm also saying caring for yourself is important, and maybe smaller groups or just one on one with close friends is a healthier option than a giant proverbial marketplace.

- the whole place is a ball of toxic positivity where people won't talk about the real issue and are only passive aggressive in the name of trying to always be nice.

- no one is willing to acknowledge the danger in exclusively self diagnosing things like personality disorders. This is controversial, but personality disorders are tricky as hell. My BPD is comorbid with a lot. Same with my in progress ASPD diagnosis. It's not something you read about online and just willy nilly decide you have because you relate too much to a character in a movie or because you are impulsive or have an issue with remorse etc. Autism, ADHD, anxiety, etc. Those are pretty cut and dry, yes, it's pretty damn obvious if you have them. Self DX away. PDs? Not nearly as simple. I have 4 years of university of education and two and a half years of a career backing me as well as lived experience. Do NOT @ me on this.

- people swing around the terms like OSDD, DID, schizoaffective, schizotypal, schizophrenia, etc. like they're the fun new hashtags. These are serious conditions. And while these are much easier to self dx as it's pretty obvious if you have them (less so with schizoaffective and schizotypal as one is a hybrid of bipolar II and schizophrenia and the other is a PD with schizophrenic traits) people still don't know jack shit about them on this site sometimes...

- Lastly?? If your main mod is someone who has no actual education/experience on your mental health condition and doesn't know anything about proper therapy or coping (meaning they lack lived experience that's ended in success or at least a learning experience that has taught them something that is beneficial), maybe don't take mental health advice on what you should or shouldn't do from them regarding your condition. Also? If you're starting a mental health discord??? Try perhaps, to have at least A MODICUM of understanding about mental health. Please. For fuck's sake.

And this first point goes for any other member in my opinion. It's super frustrating both on discord and tumblr and twitter mainly to see people give out insanely bad advice about mental health. If you don't know what you're talking about? Shut the fuck up and don't endanger people with your misinformation. It could deadass kill someone.

Thanks for reading

If I start a server I'll follow my own advice and if I don't I promise you all are allowed to call me out brutally

[negans-savior-complex]

🕹 🌡 📖 🌐 🐷 🎥 🎁 👻

🕹 Video game you are currently playing Multiple. Golden Sun Dark Dawn on a NDS emulator on my laptop. Animal Crossing New Horizons on the Switch, just started a new island and I'm hype for it, got lots of plans!👀 I'm also really into Red Dead Online on the Xbox with my outlaw wife @ricks-survivor-complex while playing a heavily modded RDR2 singleplayer on the PC.

Really looking forward to next week though, when a new update drops for an Early Access game on steam (it's this super adorable, super chill farming/crafting/exploring VR game, which is the perfect game for easing my anxiety levels😂. Also, Lone Echo 2 is supposed to release before the end of the year after countless delays and I'm just sitting here like GIMME!

🌡 Fave season Gotta go for Spring. Summer gets too hot for my tastes, Winter too cold and Autumn too wet (though I do like October and November. I'd rather skip December altogether plz). But yeah Spring, it's perfect👌

📖 Fave book The Chronicles of LonTobyn by David B. Coe. Super underrated fantasy trilogy that I recommend to everyone. Honorary mention for Animorphs because that was my childhood and it still holds up today (also it's surprisingly brutal, gory and very heavy on the serious themes like PTSD for a young teen story - also very much recommended! Don't let the derpy covers turn you away, they are notoriously bad😂).

🌐 Languages you can speak and/or are learning. Which are you fluent in Fluent in Dutch and English, and I know some very basic Japanese and Italian. I'm thinking of learning a Scandinavian language at some point, Norse or Icelandic or something.

🐷 Junk food you can never get enough of I wouldn't say never, but I unapologetically enjoy McDonalds. I rarely eat it though.

🎥 Fave film Right now the only one that comes to mind is Pixar's Soul, because of the message it contains. To enjoy the simple things in life and be happy and content with that. It was something I needed to hear so that movie really resonated with me when it came out. I also have a soft spot for WALL-E.

🎁 Best gift you ever received and why I'd rather keep that bit of info to myself :3

👻 Do you believe in ghosts I'm skeptical but open-minded, leaning more towards yes rather than no. I really enjoy watching Nuke's Top 5 over on youtube but I certainly don't believe everything I see, especially in this day and age. That's why I enjoy Nuke's videos so much because he leaves it up to the viewer to decide if it's real or not, he never claims it's real nor does he claim it's fake.

Having said that, based on multiple personal experiences during my life I can't say for certain ghosts/spirits/entities aren't real.

[aion-rsa]

25 Hardest PC Games of All-Time

https://ift.tt/38HV1Oq

The most fascinating thing about the history of difficult PC games isn’t necessarily the difficulty of individual titles but rather the diversity of difficult experiences the platform has gifted us throughout the years.

From meme games specifically designed to make you rage quit to underrated platformers and punishing puzzle titles, the history of difficult PC games essentially doubles as a fairly comprehensive look at all the ways developers have creatively punished us for daring to think we were ever good enough to beat their cruelest creations.

What are the most difficult PC games ever made, though? Well, answering that question is only slightly easier than actually playing the games on such a list, so in the interest of honoring the hardest PC games ever, we’re offering an extended look at the games that made you toss your mouse and keyboard in the air and briefly consider the benefits of smashing the family computer. We’re also focusing on games that were initially released exclusively for various PC platforms (or at least games that weren’t simply ported to PC later on) in order to properly pay homage to the truly unique ways our personal computers have tortured us throughout the years.

25. Minesweeper

The first PC game many of us probably played dominated computer classrooms, ate up more free time than many of us will ever care to admit, and ultimately confounded a generation of gamers who desperately tried to see its victory screen. 

That’s what’s impressive about Minesweeper. It’s ultimately a pretty challenging puzzle game that becomes borderline absurd at high-difficulty settings, but I’m just amazed that Microsoft was bold enough to make such a confusing, complicated, and difficult game one of the most recognizable early Windows experiences. 

24. Dota 2

This is a bit of a tricky entry, largely because I’m hesitant to highlight PC multiplayer games in this discussion about difficult titles. Obviously, it’s pretty hard to win a match against some of the best competitive multiplayer players in the world.

What separates Dota 2, though, is its incredible learning curve. Yes, top-rank Dota play is incredibly difficult, but the barrier to entry in this game is so thick that it’s amazing most new players even stick around to try to learn it.

23. Rainbow Six: Rogue Spear

If you’re only familiar with the Rainbow Six series because of Siege (which, to be fair, is a challenging game in its own right), then let me just warn you now that you’re probably in for a world of hurt if you ever dare to try to play the first few entries in this long-running franchise.

The only word that properly describes Rogue Spear‘s difficulty is “unforgiving.” You have to be nearly perfect in your planning, aim, map, knowledge, and execution of all of those elements if you’re going to have any chance of completing this game’s most difficult missions. Don’t even get me started on those stealth sections…

22. Return of the Obra Dinn

There are quite a few challenging “logic puzzle” games on the PC, but what separates this truly incredible experience from some of its immediate competition is the way that the game’s time manipulation mechanics require you to cross-reference nearly every piece of information that you acquire with every other piece of information you acquire.

Yes, you can make educated guesses in Obra Dinn, but that little piece of freedom just shows you how complex this game’s puzzles really are. Return of the Obra Dinn doesn’t just make you think; it demands a different kind of thought process than you’ll find in any other game or any other kind of storytelling experience.

21. Kerbal Space Program

It’s not hard to enjoy Kerbal Space Program. It is, after all, a fairly goofy game about building spaceships where half the fun comes from watching your plans quite literally blow up in your face. However, have you ever tried actually playing Kerbal Space Program well?

If you have, then you probably already know that Kerbal Space Program is one of the most complicated and mechanically advanced PC games ever made. Building a fully functional rocket in this game’s nightmare world of physics and miniature components is only slightly less difficult than being asked to build a rocket in real life.

20. Hotline Miami

Hotline Miami is widely recognized for its all-time great soundtrack and absurd violence, but don’t let this game’s popularity somehow convince you that it is not one of the most unforgiving and mentally exhausting action games ever made. 

While each level in Hotline Miami is essentially a puzzle, few puzzle games also demand perfect aim or the ability to pick up a makeshift weapon at just the right moment in order to salvage your plan of attack. Few gaming experiences match the feeling of getting a Hotline Miami level just right. 

19. Dead Cells

Dead Cells is so much fun to play that you might forget that it’s absolutely one of the most challenging action games of the last few years. Of course, that reality will rise up and smack you in the face the moment that you dare to try to beat the game’s later levels. 

Even if you “grind” your way to the top of Dead Cells and unlock every weapon, attribute, and skill, you’ll still struggle to topple this game’s most devious challenges. By that point, though, you’ll likely be too committed to seeing it through to realize that you’re actively being beaten down. 

18. FTL

FTL certainly wasn’t the first roguelike game, but this crowdfunded title elevated the genre with its incredible sci-fi setting, brilliant structure, and intense strategy-focused combat sequences. It’s also the game that showed millions just how difficult roguelike games could be. 

Years later, it’s easy to argue that FTL is still one of the hardest roguelike games out there. You can do everything right in this game (which is certainly no easy feat in and of itself) and still instantly lose the “perfect run” thinks to one of a hundred random little things that can go wrong. 

17. SpaceChem

Imagine trying to pass an advanced chemistry test while simultaneously attempting to re-wire the electricity in your home. That’s roughly what it’s like to play SpaceChem: one of the most complicated puzzle games ever conceived. 

I’d say learning to play SpaceChem is half the battle, but the thing that is so interesting about this game is that you never really entirely learn how to play it. You just learn to roll with the punches and make the most out of the various challenges this game uses to constantly keep you on your toes. 

16. Flywrench

At the risk of relying on too many comparisons, I’ll say that the best way to imagine what it’s like to play Flywrench is to imagine trying to play Super Hexagon and Super Meat Boy at the same time without messing up in either. That’s roughly the Flywrench experience. 

What’s amazing about this game is that even those with lightning-fast reflexes aren’t guaranteed to be good at it. Victory in Flywrench comes down to a brutal combination of reflexes, map memorization, quick reads, and the kind of persistence that few games would ever dare demand from their players. 

15. S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Somewhere between a survival horror game and a simulation shooter lies S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl: one of the most original, terrifying, and yes, brutally difficult PC games ever made. 

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl convincingly sells the horrors of its setting by burdening you with the knowledge that you could indeed die at any time. If this game’s atmosphere, story, and tone don’t make you feel depressed, trying to navigate its toughest sections will probably do the trick. 

14. Dark Seed

While it’s true that the best reason to play Dark Seed is its incredible horror style (which is actually based on the art of H. R. Giger), the second-best reason to play Dark Seed is the desire to experience as much digital pain as possible. 

Dark Seed’s puzzles are hard enough on their own, but this game takes things one step too far by utilizing a time limit system that affords you almost no time to stop and smell the roses. You could argue this game would have been better off overall without that time limit system, but it certainly wouldn’t be as notoriously difficult as it very much is. 

13. Devil Daggers

If you’ve never played Devil Daggers, please be sure to find the time to do so. This absolutely incredible FPS experience effectively reimagines classic shooters as a kind of arena action game that places you in the middle of a small circular stage that is quickly swarmed by the most horrifying foes you’ll ever dare to imagine. 

Devil Daggers is basically what you’d get if you used mods to turn Quake into a bullet hell shooter. Ther are safe zones in this game, but good luck spotting them in a 3D, first-person setting while you’re actively trying not to die at every single moment. 

Read more

Games

PC Gaming Innovations That Changed the Way We Play

By Matthew Byrd

Games

25 PC Games That Changed History

By Matthew Byrd

12. Discworld

Even at a time when point-and-click adventure puzzles were designed to be as difficult as possible, Discworld quickly gained a reputation for featuring arguably the most challenging collection of puzzles that genre has ever seen. 

Discworld embraces the outlandishness of its source material by tasking you with solving puzzles that quite honestly defy any logic that we mere mortals are used to adhering to. Just when you think you may have possibly found a solution to one part of its devious puzzles, you suddenly realize that you haven’t begun to appreciate the maddening scope of what this game truly expects from you. 

11. 1001 Spikes

1001 Spikes isn’t just a throwback to the golden era of “NES hard.” It’s a hall-of-fame worthy collection of all the mechanics, ideas, and venomous design decisions that made those games so difficult (with a few new tricks thrown in). 

From bottomless pits to invisible blocks (and yes, a couple of spikes), 1001 Spikes is an angel to some and a demon to others. It really all depends on how fondly you remember the years of your youth that you spent dying to the cruelest 8-bit titles ever made. 

10. Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines

In a previous article about a nearly impossible dungeon crawler called The Immortal, I talked about how that game tries to make you walk a very specific path to avoid its various death traps. Well, Commandos utilizes a similar trick with one fascinating twist: you have to blaze your own path to victory. 

Commandos is a game of inches. Every move you make has to be carefully considered because each could trigger a mistake down the line that is nearly impossible to recover from. That level of freedom is both incredibly frustrating and the thing that keeps you convinced that you can eventually get it right if you hang in long enough.

9. Gabriel Knight 3

This is another case where I’m not actually sure how much Gabriel Knight 3 deserves this “honor” given that it features some of the most illogical, frustrating, confusing, and often downright unenjoyable puzzle designs in adventure game history. 

Having said that, I ultimately see this as the final boss for genre fans. No matter how good you think you are at solving the most confounding adventure game puzzles ever crafted, I’m willing to bet that this game will leave you seriously considering downloading a walkthrough and calling it a day. This game’s “cat puzzle” alone has broken the strongest souls. 

8. Darkest Dungeon

Moment to moment, Darkest Dungeon is difficult in all of the ways that you’d expect a roguelike dungeon crawler to be difficult. Tough enemies, minimal resources, incredible RNG swings…the gang is all here. 

What separates this title are the mechanics you have to deal with in-between those dungeon dives. Properly managing your always ailing party of heroes often requires you to make difficult strategic decisions that simultaneously punish greed and pretty much demand it if you’re going to have any chance of reaching this game’s nearly impossible final dungeon.

7. I Wanna Be The Guy

I Wanna Be the Guy is both a throwback to the golden age of difficult games and a kind of experiment in how difficult you can make a game without it technically being impossible. It succeeds in both endeavors.

There are many PC games like I Wanna Be The Guy, but this is the title that alerted many of us to the wide world of these indie experiences that are designed to bring you to your breaking point. It’s one of the ultimate examples of how the PC gaming community has been pushing the limits of difficult retro gaming experiences for quite some time now.

6. Dwarf Fortress

Any discussion about Dwarf Fortress‘ difficulty has to eventually address the debate over whether or not you should see this as the kind of game you’re meant to “beat.” For millions of players, Dwarf Fortress is really about the process of figuring out how to do your best in one of the most mechanically complicated games ever. 

That brutal learning curve certainly makes Dwarf Fortress worthy of consideration for this particular list, but it’s the “endgame” that ultimately makes this experience so special. Much like Kerbal Space Program, it’s when you try to succeed at Dwarf Fortress that you appreciate how challenging this fascinating blend of role-playing and world-building really is. Dwarf Fortress is arguably the deepest rabbit hole in video game history.

5. Getting Over It With Bennett Foddy

There have been quite a few incredibly difficult “meme” games in the past, but for my money, none have come close to topping this masterpiece. 

Getting Over It‘s controls are ultimately the source of its legendarily frustrating gameplay, but the thing that will always define this game is that feeling you get when you realize a single wrong move can reset all the progress you’ve made so far. Few other games in history have combined persistence and mechanical challenges quite as well as this one. 

4. X-COM: UFO Defense

There’s no denying that modern XCOM games are incredibly difficult, and there’s no denying that those who are able to beat modern XCOM games deserve a firm pat on the back. That being said, no modern XCOM game will ever compare to the difficulty of X-COM: UFO Defense.

The thing that separates UFO Defense from its competition in this category is the way that it demands you master and constantly consider a daunting number of gameplay mechanics. There is almost no room for error in this incredible game, and you probably won’t even know that you’ve made a mistake until it’s far too late to do anything but start over again. 

3. Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

Is Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy a troll game? Yes, yes it is. However, that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be on any shortlist of the most difficult games ever made. 

I highly doubt a developer will ever dare to construct puzzles as complicated as the ones featured in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Part of the “appeal” of this game is actually the way that its nearly impossible logic puzzles accentuate the ridiculous, yet despondent, nature of its humor. Just be sure to bring a towel. 

2. Osu!

I’ll just come out and say that there’s never been a rhythm game as difficult as osu! With no assistance from a required peripheral instrument, osu! manages to challenge your mechanical abilities like no other entry into this genre has ever dreamed to do. 

Honestly, the only thing you really need to know about this game is that some of the top FPS players in the world use it to prepare for competitive tournaments and matches. It’s the purest and most challenging video game reflex test that’s ever been constructed, and it’s hard not to love it for that. 

1. Wizardry IV: The Return of Werdna

If it seems strange to put an RPG at the top of a list of the hardest PC games ever, that’s because you don’t know Wizardry IV. 

Wizardry IV is a unique dungeon crawler where you’re essentially cast as a villain trying to work your way out of Hell. Actually, the best way to describe this game is just that. Hell. From constantly shifting maps to an experience system (or lack thereof) that requires you to beat incredible challenges without being able to consistently rely on your character actually getting stronger, Wizardry IV is quite simply the cruelest game ever made.

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Honestly, Wizardry IV’s first room is arguably the most difficult and unintuitive challenge in video game history. From there, things only get worse. It’s an absolute masterpiece in “f*** everything about this” video game design. 

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