#yes they're manspreading

[fazcinatingblog]

Netty grand final in Melbourne!!!!!!!! Omggggg please I wanna be there

[aqoilaq]

Hello! I saw you were taking requests… so maybe what you think Yuuji would be like as a boyfriend? 🥰

yes ! if you want nsfw, lmk cuz this is just sfw for now

yuuji as a bf <3

SFW

loves pda, not in a weird way, just always craves your touch

tightly holds your hand

will come up behind you, armswrapping around your waist as his head finds comfort in nestling in the crook of your neck

his heart kinda explodes when when you sit on his lap, cup his face and litter him with kisses

gives you forehead kisses

kisses the back of your hand randomly

big spoon!!

sleeps after you, your breathing calms him

loves, loves sleepy, deep talks w u

thinks he's literally the luckiest man ever cuz he gets to have you all for himself.

is always showering you with words of affirmation

calls you beautiful, angel, princess, my love

expect a date weekly! he always finds time to spend time with you

they're not really anything extravagant; but well thought out. you can tell he put effort into the little picnic he set up in the park for you guys

random, but he's a lightweight 😭😭

his heart literally stopped when you kissed him for the first time, just for a second tho

^ expanding cuz it needs to happen: his hands are fisted in his trousers, eyes shut tight, as he leansin to kiss you. afterwards he licks his lips, all shy as he looks down at his hands

manspreads

you catch him staring at you everyday

his lock screen is a photo of you sleeping on his shoulder

his home screen is a candid photo of you laughing he took at a dinner date

[ipostwhatiwant1202]

Headcanons for all 4 TMNT:

• they all love kids but they collectively agree that babies aged 0-2 are the best

• can any of them handle spice? absolutely not. does it stop them? no.

• the only thing can all collectively agree on without much arguing is music

• all are surprisingly pretty good dancers

• they have all said "suck my dick" at some point (raph uses it the most)

• they all manspread

• nothing triggers any of them more than a spider

-raph won't go anywhere near the spider and refuses to be in the same room with it

-mikey's okay with the spider but doesn't want it touching him

-donnie will move the spider without killing it but won't touch the web

-leo will touch the spider to take it outside but the feeling freaks him out

• don't say the words "i bet you won't" cause boom there they all go

• at some point they have all referred to april as mom just to piss her off

• they all agree smores poptarts are superior

• they play with april's hair if she's sitting in front of them on the ground

• shark week is a whole thing

• thanksgiving and christmas are the turtle's favorite times of year

• they will all devour the deviled eggs and cranberry sauce

• mikey and raph will shamelessly walk in the bathroom when their brothers are showering

• leo and donnie are very guilty of leaving cupboards open in the middle of the night

• raph and leo have similar facial expressions when shit hits the fan

• mikey and donnie freak out if wet food touches them when they do the dishes

• leo and mikey both really like dr phil

• donnie and raph can't stand the taste of bananas

• do any of them truly enjoy horror? no. do they suffer through the movie anyway? yes.

• april has sat on their laps when there's been no seats

-leo is the most calm and just settles his hands where she directs

-raph is a bit more timid and keeps one hand on her waist

-donnie tries to keep his hands off her because he's awkward

-mikey just wraps his arms around her like it's a normal thing

• splinter still tells the boys stories when they can't sleep after a tough patrol

• splinter also checks on the boys every night when they go to bed

• the guys can all shotgun like it's no ones business

• they're all very protective of april and casey's child(ren)

-one time one of the kids came home crying saying another kid pushed them down and all 4 of them were fully prepared to go to war

-if the kid is taking a guy to homecoming or prom, the dude gets threatening texts and blocked phone calls

• when april and casey's child(ren) was born, all the guys cried

-leo very reluctantly let someone else have a turn holding the child(ren)

-raph has made the child(ren) a blanket as a gift when they're born

-donnie handles all the medical care for the child(ren) and april during and after birth

-mikey decorated the child(ren)'s nursery and baby shower(s)

• april gets random texts to settle dumb arguments between the brothers

• they all love adele

• they all sing in the shower

• don't bring nerf guns into the lair for the sake of splinter's sanity

• vine references are frequently thrown around the lair

• they've all watched 90 day fiancé and they all hate ed

• mikey is the only one who can get any of his brothers to cry from laughing

• leo may suck at comforting his brothers but they all seek him out for comfort anyway

• donnie's sleep schedule is the worst so when he falls asleep in his lab his brothers have each carried him to bed

• raph can't sleep properly unless he knows that his brothers are close by and he's seen them go to bed

• splinter will still sometimes tuck the boys into bed if he knows they've had a rough time

• all of them have cussed out casey and vern for saying the wrong thing about a brother

• they all hardly swear around april

• splinter has banned legos in the lair because the boys were using them as revenge against each other

[flowery-laser-blasts]

Puzzle! #83072 - Spoons in the Hoosegow

6 prisoners are waiting for the annual prison talent show to start. One of the inmates suggest to kill the time by playing a game he and his cousin used to play as children. D: "The rules are simple. Use two spoons and determine whether your position is 'feminine low cross', 'feminine high cross', 'parallel', 'masculine low cross' or 'masculine high cross'." Each prisoner starts to fiddle around with their spoons, until everyone is satisfied with how they're holding them. D: "Now each of us states their position; I am parallel." ME: "I'm obviously masculine low cross, seriously." D: "Correct!" DK: "Uhhh... masculine high cross?" D: "Wrong." DNA: "Oh- oh!! Am I feminine high cross???" D: "Yes, yes you are!" MF: "I suppose that I am parallel." D: "You are correct." This game goes on for ten more minutes, until one of them loses her patience. S: "What!? None of this makes sense!!" D: "It all makes perfect sense."

Can you figure out what the rules and thus the solution to this game are?

The solution is down below.

S: What!? None of this makes sense!! D: It all makes perfect sense

Dr. Drakken was right; this game does make sense but only if you ignore the spoons and focus on the legs of each player.

This entire time, everyone was so focused on how to hold their spoons that they ended up wobbling and shifting on their chairs. Think of how people with skirts (or kilts) tend to sit with their legs closed off (Feminine) and how some people manspread in public transport; meaning they have their legs in an open position (Masculine).

The high and low are determined on whether the crossing of the legs happens above or below the knee Paralel is when both legs are not crossing each other. Based on the first round we can determine the following: Duff Killigan is sitting in a feminine low cross Drakken, Shego and MonkeyFist ALL are parallels. Motor Ed is a masculine low cross DNAmy is sitting in a feminine high cross position.

This game will continue until everyone in the group figured out the rules on how to play it (or if one of your team mates threatens your life with green firey powers....) My boyfriend introduced me to this game and well... it was frustrating to say the least. Especially when you're the last one to catch on with the rules. TIP FROM BF: If you like this game and want to try it out with your friends, but they're not getting it (even after an hour) you can drop a subtle hint. and tell them "Look at each other's socks." That's a way of not directly saying 'focus on the legs' I hope you guys like this riddle and might play it at parties and if you managed to solve this by yourself, comment a 🌸! And shhhh... Don't tell others the solution in the comments.

[elliesmainhoe]

Ellie Williams HeadCanon: You're feminine (modern au)

Ellie Williams x fem!reader

My Masterlist

Part 2 here

Request?: Yes

You are just so so beautiful to her

She's all about plaid button ups, white wife beaters and old jeans for herself.

But you? She loves when you wear pretty flowy dresses, she loves to see how the skirt moves as you walk and how it softly grazes your thighs.

The form fitted top half of the dresses hugging your boobs so tight and showing off just the right amount of cleavage. She's drooling.

Girl will praise you all the time. Constantly tells you about how perfect you are, and loves to brag to everyone about you <<333

Her pet names for you include "pretty girl, baby doll, sugar, sweetheart, princess"

She absolutely loves when you get new clothes and put on a fashion show. Twirling around and showing her all the pretty dresses you got.

(Bonus points for new lingerie she can see peak out from underneath them).

Literally is so smitten, she often is so overprotective of you and will beat up anyone you ask her to.

Just imagine

"Hey Ells..."

"Yeah pretty girl"

"Can you uh, do something about the guy at the bar over there, he keeps looking at me and it's grossing me out"

"Course I'll be right back princess"

Omg she loves watching you cook. When your making breakfast, still only in your frilly short pj set, twirling around and humming to the radio, she sending you heart eyes.

Def stands behind you and cradles you, kissing your cheek and playing with the ends of your hair 🥺.

Ellie 100% smokes weed a ton, she loves manspreading and having you perched on her lap, as you take it in turns taking drags from your joint.

Imagine she's sitting there smoking a joint while your showing her new Victoria secret underwear, her eyes all hazy 😍

Baby is such a gentlewoman. You could take 6 hours to get ready for a night out and she would never complain. Just sits on your queen sized bed, watching you blend cream and powders on your skin, adding red to your soft lips. She's mesmerized by you.

Whenever your in heels and you complain about your feet, she immediately picks you up and carries you, she can not have her girl hurt by anything.

You always tell Ellie that 'Jackets and coats cramp your style' and without a doubt by the end of the night your wrapped in her jacket.

-----------

I actually really like these headcannons, I think they're so cute. Ellie is such a sweetie 😍🥺

PROOF READ

[mortuarywriting]

I needed to get this out 'cause I've been chewing on it for a few days now but couldn't word so hot.

So have a snippet of the self indulgent project

You looked down at the man sitting on your couch, "d'you want me to bring this up now or when your friends leave?"

His brow furrows, "what's it about?"

"You told me if you forgot to-"

"Oh fuckin hell-"

"- do the one thing you had on your to-do list before you left for me to badger you."

A long, begrudging sigh, "yes."

"And did you do it."

"No."

"Okay. Do you want to do this now or later?"

He leaned back, putting his drink down and crossing his arms, "do your worst."

You nod, nudging a leg so he stopped manspreading enough for you to sit just on the edge of his knees, ignoring how his brow raised as you put your hands on his shoulders, "you acknowledge that if you stand up to try to walk away from this I'll fall and crack my head open on the coffee table, yes? Making a giant mess you'd have to clean up? If not hide a body," he gives a grunt you take for assent, "good. Do you accept the terms and conditions?"

"'M waitin' doll."

"Alright, as you wish," you move one hand from his shoulder to cup his cheek, making direct eye contact as you begin, "you have value beyond what you can do for other people or your country, people legitimately enjoy being around you."

You watch in glee as his eyes widen, realizing what exactly he just let himself get roped into, "wait-"

You don't let the mirth show on your face as you continue with a matter-of-fact tone, "you have more patience than you let people think and that's a commendable skill- no it is not just a work requirement do not try that excuse with me. That's better. You listen well- no not just to orders close your mouth there's no deflecting from this- you actually listen not just hearing. You listen to me ramble about the dumbest shit. You have excellent suggestions and a good perspective when someone needs to take a step back. Despite what you may think, if you didn't have redeeming qualities outside of your job the FC wouldn't like you. They love you- don't even try to deny it- they're all excited for you to bring Fish back around. You're funny and I love exchanging the worst jokes known to man and several known only to dolphin with you. Need I say more?"

"Rather you didn't."

"For that I'm adding you have beautiful eyes and a wonderful ass," and on that note you patted his cheek and slid off his lap to stand up, "anyway per your request it's still on your list, I did run out and pick up more of your bodywash and got you a new shampoo and conditioner. They're all separate this time it's great you should try it. While you figure out how that works I'm gonna toss your biohazard of a mission outfit into the wash. If I'm not back in 10 send for a priest they probably gained sentience and ate me. I expect you to avenge me if that's the case."

[karlachismylife]

What I need is x afab!reader where reader is as agressively masculine as they get. Where they are just as crass as the men if not worse. Where they get into real fights and have a short temper, with a kind heart, sure, but it's almost overriden. Where they don't have pretty lingerie or heels or dresses, where they cut or even shave their hair off, where they wear fucking axe or sauvage instead of flowery perfumes. I need them with a loud, obnoxious laugh, military boots and wrinkled oversized shirts. I need them manspreading with a beer in hand. I need them with their disappointed mother saying they'll never get a man behaving like that. I need everyone around them to be absolutely sure they are into women only because well they're just a walking stereotype. I need a butch that's gonna step on these big scary men's balls, peg them and ride their face only when they promise to behave.

Don't get me wrong, I love soft reader, feminine reader, crybaby reader, mommy dom reader, lady reader, capable farmer reader, bimbo reader, cute assistant reader, military but girly outside work reader, competent and elegant reader, tough reader, housewife reader, business owner reader, submissive reader. I fucking love reader (saw a post that called them the ultimate Barbie and hell yes), I love women, I will be fighting their men to be with all those above. I will respect the hell outta reader who is the perfect balance (I guess Squeaks by @charliemwrites is like what the balance looks like to me? or maybe it's as close as it gets to what I'm trying to describe here... I dunno, I jut love her. man I'd kill to be with Squeaks, honestly, that's the dream woman. too bad I ain't her type lol)

But I need a tomboy that is kind, but doesn't go suddenly soft and docile, won't put on an apron after the Big Strong Men show them a good time. I need a fucking menace that is just a tad bit too much, there is nuance obvously, but it doesn't change them at core. I need a Lisbeth Salander (without Mikael bullshit) reader, I need a Terminator 2 Sarah Connor reader, I need Mass Effect Jack reader, I need Marvel Nebula reader.

Doesn't apply to COD only either. Give me Gale and Astarion with a huge barbaric orc Tav. Give me slashers that get beaten the shit out of them with a crowbar when they try to attack that punk. Give me Peaky Blinders that have seen their fair share of strong and powerful women, but they are not sure they can even call that creature a woman (make her worse than Kate Leigh and Tilly Devine combined, honestly).

Unwomanly, unfeminine, gender-fucking violent foul-mouthed menace. Yes, I have a type.

If you know any works like this, PLEASE send me the links. Thank you.

[iiomanii]

𝖛𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖆𝖑,* w/ bokuto

SMUT ~ 16+, choking, hair pulling, teasing, groping, face grabbing, use of the name sir, penetration, dirty talk, degradation but really sweet. perverted reader, oral f! receiving, fingering, overstimulation, begging, names like princess and baby, reader gets dick drunk, missionary, doggy style, this is really some twitter shit.

--------------------------------------------------------------

As you stare at the man manspreading in the chair next to yours, you start thinking about the relentless things you want him to do to you. Wishing that every naughty thought, every wet dream, and every single fantasy you had about him came true. 

You´re so perverted thinking about your best friend pounding into you while he´s sitting right there next to you watching tv not knowing that you think about this. Your breath starts to get a little heavy as you continue to have these sinful thoughts about him, your childhood best friend, they're so dirty as you continue to think about this the thoughts start to feel real you´re soaked thinking about the possibilities that maybe, possibly you can actually do him this one time. You´re visualizing your best friend of  10 years fucking you dumb, and your soaked thinking about it, you´re sick.

Another sinful thought after the other, what he looks like shirtless, sweating over you, his gray hair sticking to his forehead, his toned hips pounding into your cunt relentlessly. 

¨Hey, snap out of it y/n¨ Bo says waving his hand in front of your face. ¨You okay?¨ he asks genuinely concerned ¨Yea, I'm fine just thinking¨ you say fiddling with your fingers ¨You only do that when your nervous what ´ya thinking about¨ he says leaning over to you. ¨You¨ you sigh. He looks at you confused ¨Me?¨ you nod feeling the tears swell in your eyes. ¨Don´t cry¨ he says smiling, you put your head down regretting your choice but you feel his hand under your chin ¨Look at me¨  he says ¨I knew you had a crush on me, trust me it was very noticeable¨  he looks at you ¨But- Bo you don't see me that way¨  he interrupts you ¨Who said I didn´t¨. You look at him his golden eye dragging you in. 

Next thing you know your lips are planted together as he´s grasping at the thin tank top you decided to wear today ¨Take it off¨ he says pulling away from the heated kiss ¨But-¨ you stutter ¨Take. It. Off¨ he cuts you off with his stern reply ¨Yes, SIr¨ you reply following his task ¨Such a slut¨ he says as his eye become drunk with lust. 

He kisses you again before dragging his lips down to your neck sucking and kissing on the spot that makes you weak ¨mmhm¨ he says reacting to your mewls as he continues leaving marks on your neck. He looks at you as he maneuvers his hand on the biker shorts you had on as he breaks the bands his fingers hovering over the place you want him to touch the most ¨please¨ you mutter looking at his lust-filled eyes ¨Beg¨ he says flat out ¨Won´t do it ´less you beg okay princess?¨  you do ¨Please-¨ you mewl out as he teases you, his fingers laying lightly up and down above your panties ¨Please what?¨ ¨Please sir¨ you say not thinking just knowing that you want him. 

He slides down the semi-restrictive shorts you had on with his free hand, you're exposed only in your panties and nothing else while he has everything on, you decided to grasp at his shirt and he obliges taking the white t-shirt that he had on off. Ḧe puts his hand back but this side inside of the mere thing covering you. He puts his fingers directly onto your pussy exploring your wet place. ¨What were you thinking about to get you this wet huh¨ he says rubbing your clit and watching your reaction, ¨ This¨ you say as he plunges his fingers into your cunt making you tightly grip the couch arm. He continues to fuck your cunny with his fingers ¨Dumb slut, I´m just giving you my fingers and you´re already about to cum¨ he says going faster with his fingers as he lowers himself to where his face is leveled with your pussy. You look at him as he removes his fingers and puts his mouth onto you licking and sucking, ¨Just grind on my mouth¨ he muffles and you listen grinding against his mouth as he licks in circles. ¨Please gonn´ cum¨ you say gripping onto his gray locs ¨mmhm¨  he says smiling ¨Go ahead¨ he says as you release what was being built up for so long. “I want to put my dick in you” he says pulling away from your spot his mouth wet with your slick. “Please, sir” as you interrupted my him pulling your legs “I’ll be careful” he says pressing your thighs against your stomach as he slowly pulls off his pants his dick popping out of his covering it; it’s pretty light pink tip with viens adorning the sides, it’s also girthy and slight curves to the left. 

He gently rubs his tip over the your clit making eye contact “you’re so pretty baby” as he gently start to put it in stroking slowly into you “Look at me” he says wrapping his hands over the bottom of yout thigh to keep his stability, You’re a wreck, moaning gripping at his forearm making eye contact with him looking into his eyes as you finally got what you wanted “f-faster” you say as he starts to pick up the pace lewd noises coming from his balls slapping against you ass “fuck” he mutters as he picks up the place going faster, the noises getting louder as he starts to hit your g-spot “right there please dont stop” as you feel your eyes rolling to the back of your head, thoughts leaving your head, nothing but the pleasure of him fucking you as you start to grip at his hips. He stops and pulls out and flips you around as you arch your back you feel a tight grip at your hair as he yanks it and makes you look at him as he continues. He smacks your ass continuing to pound into your spot as you feel a ball of pleasure start to form in your stomach “You’re about to cum, can feel you clenching” he speaks through his grunts and the lewd noises you two are producing. 

“Uh-huh” he says acknowledging the noises your making for him, “I’m cumming” as you feel yourself release all over him “Oh my god” you say as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm “You made a mess” he says “I’m about to cum princess” He says “Cum ‘n me” you say and he obliges burying his dick balls deep into your cunt as you feel the hotness release into your cunt. He pulls out and fix his pants, leaving his shirt off as he helps you fix yourself, kissing you again “You did so good” he says turning the lights off and cuddling next to you.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

would you ever be interested in writing a more masc reader? i kind of got it by know you write fem!reader exclusively, so i've been wondering if you'd write something along the lines a manly gal.

like the type that sees könig do his pushups, she must also immediately try to catch up to him? she sits manspread and wears manly clothes and makes everything a raunchy sex joke and has no shame and is kind of a muscle mommy and a total gremlin? something like that? and it disarms könig completely cuz he's used to damsels in distress, but this one can do everything herself but somehow wants him?? like an equal partner?

also can u pls tell each of your königs i love them with all i have? pls? 🥺 they're like my reason for living this past year i wanna give them a big sweet kiss and pet them

🤲 here, have an offering as gratitude. ignore the arms lol

Maaaan your offering 😭😭💖💞

And yes I have a habit of writing König with helpless maidens and sassy fairies don’t I 😂

So… König with masc!reader…. (Lol this turned out very rivals to lovers but I hope you enjoy!)

König can be a little off-putting. One would think that a man of his size wouldn’t get so threatened by a girl with some muscles on her... But you catch him mansplaining guns to you more than once, showing off his new rifle and then snapping his mouth shut when you fire a round of 5 bullseyes with a calm, stable breath and perfect posture.

“It’s nice,” you give it back to him, “but I’ve seen better.”

Knowing that you just threw his own words back at him – he’s always boasting on the field – König just blinks and grabs his rifle from you.

“...Where?”

“In my safe,” you shrug, trying to keep a neutral face.

And you’ve seen him during sparring, knowing already that he likes to one-up everyone. König is skilled and fierce, but he’s also competitive to the point of petty, which is why you’re amused when he suddenly turns gentle, even hesitant when paired with you.

At some point, it starts to get on your nerves though. It’s slightly insulting, even sexist, that he’s trying to treat you like a gentleman when you’re supposed to hit each other. So, you snap a good right hook through his guard and watch the man see some stars. Hoping that it would fix that attitude, you do it again, and again until he stops giving you the princess treatment.

But even after that, you see he’s holding back. The more you try to get him to attack properly, the more pissed off he gets, refusing to strike you even when you bring him down – a man twice your size – and gloat over him. His eyes are flaming because he just lost for the sake of some weird “I don’t hit women” policy, and it shouldn’t bother you. The man’s an asshole, what are you to do?

Still, it’s giving you a headache. Did you win the match only because he allowed it? You almost smack him in the head again. You already dealt with these kinds of idiots at the training program, and now you have to take shit from pros too? While you’re the pro? Jesus.

Determined to give him hell for the rest of the week, you make a lousy joke about the size of his gun when you go on a mission. It’s a bit unhanded, because this lame ass fool actually gets bothered by your quip, and you mentally beat yourself up for messing with your partner’s head before an important hostage rescue.

He barges through the door like a bull, and you purse your lips under your balaclava – on the other hand, is it even your fault if he gets killed because of some stupid Freudian joke?

This guy is simply too much fun…

So what happens is that you can’t keep your mouth shut. It’s horrid, what comes out of your lips when he’s trying to save lives. Things such as:

“Do you have your gun in hand?”

“I’ll keep an eye on your six while you take the women”

“Did you see their faces when König rammed himself in?”

The innuendos are obvious and rampant and so bad that König is surely blushing under that hood before you even board the plane. On top of everything, he rubs the barrel of his gun up and down in the plane because he’s so nervous. He does it absent-mindedly; the poor guy probably doesn’t understand the outrageous amount of Freudian jokes that could be cracked about that…

You try to pull yourself together after that because otherwise, people would start to suspect you’re having a crush on him. Army humour is army humour but you’re taking this shit a bit too far… Your jokes have never been this bad before, they certainly never induced such crazy behaviour from a guy.

...Because it turns out that you’ve awoken a demon.

At the gym, you see König watching you do pull ups – you’re the only girl there, yes, but you don’t wear some sculpting, seamless gym pants and a suggestive sports bra. You only have your old sweats and a tank top on, but the man's looking at you like he’s dreaming of either killing or fucking you. He's smashing the plates around like they've just personally insulted him, and glares at your way again, then lifts more than you’ve ever seen anyone lift before. He never talks to you: just stops and stares when you’re doing a set, then does his own, then glares.

You don’t know if it’s some kind of an awkward challenge or if he’s trying to flirt with you – menacingly – but you’re a mess after that gym session.

Next time during training, König personally offers to spar with you: he even pushes away the guy that had been assigned as your pair. And this time, he doesn’t hold back. He’s serious, and rough, and fucking frightening.

“That’s it, big boy,” you’re panting before half a minute has passed, “You finally found your groove?”

“No talking during sparring,” he grunts, and almost manages to land a blow – almost, because it ends with him on the floor. The takedown is something even KorTac’s best would be proud of, but he doesn’t allow you to gloat this time. Oh no: he rolls through it: actually, he rolls so that he lands on top of you, then smashes his whole weight on your chest to keep you down.

“Right where I want you,” he says, so brunt and brief that you’re not sure if you just imagined it.

“Is...that...so?”

You try to fight him in vain: he only presses you further into the mat and forces even your face to the side with his own.

“I thought you liked girls,” he pants into your ear, so low that the others can’t hear.

“That’s funny,” you whisper through clenched teeth, fingers curled around his shirt. “I thought you liked girls.”

You hear him draw air right beside your ear, and then – it’s unmistakable, the throbbing pulse against your thigh.

He’s getting hard.

The fucking moron is getting hard during a sparring session with you–

“There’s no need to crush your partner,” the trainer instructs, to everybody grinding on the mat in general, perhaps, but you have a feeling he’s directing the words König who’s currently choking you with his entire body.

“Is this what you want?”

He lets you breathe, only enough so you can turn and have another staring competition with him, this time with his mouth only a hair’s breadth away. Those eyes are hard as steel and as beautiful as snow, and that stare still wants to either fuck or murder you…

“Hm? You want to get crushed?”

“...Why do you think I joined the army?” You laugh breathlessly, eyes glimmering from mirth. He’s such a sight when he’s angry and confused.

Your cheeky answer only makes him more perplexed. Poor man – it’s so easy to tease him that you almost feel like a bully.

“That's right... Take your time getting up, there’s no need to rush,” you breathe, and watch the snow melt into a bewildered cerulean sea.

It sets sooner than you thought, his lids dropping as he settles to watch your lips, the heavy pulse on your neck.

“Oh I’m up already.”

[angeledeggs]

Could you do the m6 and courteirs with a short [like around 5ft] s/o?

Yes!! Relatable, I'm barely above 5'2 also 😭😭

Asra💜:

Way too smug about it

Like, they're only around 5'5-5'6, it's not like it's a big height difference, but they still while just look at you and start snickering at your height.

He'll probably rest his hand on your hand and grin down at you, just to mess with you

Makes a few comments about you being 'pocket sized' and things of the sort, and won't stop making horrible height jokes

(Asra literally makes dad jokes stg)

Will always just tilt their chin up when you go to kiss them, just to play with you a bit until they finally lean down and kiss you

Julian🦠:

Oh my god he loves it.

He has no end of adorable nicknames for you, as he's nearly six foot, and will call you thinks like, "שורטי" or "tiny" just to mess with you.

Will definitely do that thing where he'll just slowly start leaning until he's using your head as an armrest as he smirks down at you.

Will purposely not lean down to kiss you and be like oh no?? Are you not tall enough?? Before he starts laughing his ass off.

Will like, manspread by grabbing onto the tops of doorways just to flex that he's taller lol.

Muriel💙:

Thinks it's cute.

He's around six foot but probably will only tease you about your height sometimes.

After all, he does think it's very cute and he doesn't want you to be insecure about it.

He'll always lean down to give you a kiss, or pick you up if you'd prefer that.

Might pay your head though, just for convenience (that's what he tells himself, at least)

Nadia💎:

Her heels are even more useful, now.

She's slightly above average height too, but will definitely tease you.

She might give you some of her heels if you like them to be a bit taller, but she loves your height

She thinks it's adorable, honestly.

Will probably call you something cute cause of your height like "छोटा" or "tiny".

She dosent do that thing where she uses your as an armrest, but she definitely might pretend to sit her cup on your head for a few seconds to mess with you, because she's silly. (eee she's so silly I love her!!!)

Portia🧡:

Finally, she's taller than someone!

While she might only be a couple of inches taller than you, she will absolutely flaunt it.

She might even wear heels and insist you're shrinking.

Just like her brother, if she's able to, she'll use your head as an armrest to mess with you.

She probably also loves to give you forehead kisses and stuff cuz of the height difference!!

Lucio👑:

As if he wasn't cocky enough.

He's doing literally everything in his power to tease you.

Like, literally, he's leaning on your head, setting things on your head, pressing a tape measure up your height, all he can do to mess with you.

It amuses him to no end, especially if you laugh or get grumpy about it.

He's a little shit though, and probably does it just cause he thinks it's funny.

Thinks it's also very cute though.

Valerius🍷:

He never says anything about it.

But that doesn't mean he can't totally mess with you for it.

He'll definitely hide some of your heeled shoes if you have any for fun, but he will give them back if you ask.

He'll like, very subtlety lean against you so that the height difference is more obvious.

If you slouch, he just grins a bit, cause that makes me you look even shorter, and he also definitely stands to his full height.

He likes being taller, it makes him feel more confident. Dosent mean he dislikes your height though, he really adores it.

Vlastomil🐛:

This motherfucker is tall as SHIT

Like taller than Julian lever kind of tall not as tall as Valdemar (SHH IGNORE CANON SHHH SHHH) but this bitch is just like TALL.

He's usually taller than everyone else, but having such a height difference on you makes him chuckle to himself.

He'll tease you by comparing you to one of his worms, and will probably pat your head and playfully push it down.

Might even measure you once or twice and be like oh, yes, you're very small, haha

Volta🍰:

Valdemar💉:

JSNSSJS THEY LITERALLY WONT SHUT UP ABOUT IT

Insists that you must have been "destined" to be short, to be their side table.

You think it's bad that Valerius might tap his wine glass against your head? WELL VAL IS LITERALLY 10 TIMES WORSE

They'll set their tools or papers on your head for minutes at a time and literally won't take them off till you start begging.

Might tug you up to kiss them just cause they can, or deny you kisses until you figure out a way to reach them.

All in all, they're very happy about it.

Very happy.

HEHSSHSHDGD SHES LITERALLY SO SHORT

Like I'd say she's around 5'2 MAYBE 5'3 so she's just happy to have a partner that's her height.

She dosent really tease you, more like she just jokes sometimes about how she's happy to have someone the same height as her for good kissing.

She also like might wear heels and be like oh my god what did you know turns out I'm taller.

She also jokes about you two having it good because you both 'get hit by rain last'.

She honestly loves it she thinks you two being the same height is so awesome .

Vulgora⚔️:

They are so smug.

They're only around 5'5 or PERHAPS 5'6 there's only a couple of inches in height difference, but they'll never miss the opportunity to tease you about it.

They might even wear heels just to show that THEY are taller, NOT you.

They kind of make it a competition, just like everything else.

But they also won't miss the opportunity to compliment your height, mention that they think it's adorable.

Will lean on your head and give you a few forehead kisses because you're the perfect height for it

❀

[withahappyrefrain]

Hello, I love your Jake Seresin stories!

I'm gonna reread and engage with them- will do my best to be not spammy.

also I bet my ass, jake seresin would be an absolute manchild when he's jealous- he tries to be suave about it but fails miserably- he's also someone who is possessive, it shows in little things-

- manspreading a little much, arm around her chair, thighs touching, his chest is almost behind her

- giving her his jacket to tie around her waist when she's wearing a dress too short but is playing pool (it's also to save her from accidentally flashing)

- can also see him being a little stern about things that just aren't up for debate, she's his queen and he is a simp but yes there are things he won't compromise on- "I'm not gonna watch you burn out, your job is important, very much- much more than mine, you bring lives into this world, every fucking day- but I won't let you work yourself to the bone. I'm putting my foot down, you're gonna eat and get some sleep, and tomorrow- we're staying in and rewatching parks and rec" (love that show)

but yeah- small wholesome things that to him, are just for him to take care of. the squad gets a pass, here and there, given the trust and confidence he has in them but others not at all.

he's also smug about anyone who checks her out

but yeah jake seresin is a concept to me-

First off, don't apologize for engaging! I love it ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Jake jealous is such a sight to see. He puffs out his chest, undoes the top button of his shirt, I wouldn't put it past him to go outside to do some push ups so his muscles are more visible.

Protective Jake is my favorite! Covering their drink when they're in the bathroom, I love the idea of him tying his jacket around the waist! He doesn't even ask, he's just like 'here ya go' and ties it for you 😫😫😫

His protectiveness extends to your habits too! He will ask if his girl has had water today. When he's waiting for them to arrive at the Hard Deck, he orders them food because he knows they're hungry. When they're tired, he wraps them in a blanket and cuddles them

[wolfiemcwolferson]

i dont know what trick or treat is but i wanna do it too 🥺❤️️

Hi Akira! I wanted to save this for my pre-race drabble and so here it is! Piarles, obviously.

It's too cold when Charles packs his bag for the day, but he knows that by the time he gets a coffee from the cart at the corner and walks down to the park, there will be a patch of sun that he can sit in on his favorite bench.

He could have slept more - he could have gone straight to class, but it's the first sunny day in far too long and he needs to enjoy it.

The coffee warms his hands enough that he pulls his phone out of his pocket, hoping for a last minute cancellation for his orientation this afternoon, but instead he gets distracted by a long thread of whatsapp messages from his brothers about the two of them coming to see him soon and he isn't paying attention to the fact that there's an asshole spread out across his bench.

Charles doesn't mind sharing the bench. He actually loves to share the bench with people as long as people are respectful and don't have things spread out all over the bench - as long as they aren't taking up all the space by manspreading and -

"Excuse me," Charles says in English - possibly a bit too harshly because the man looks up in surprise and oh. His eyes are...blue blue blue.

Charles clears his throat and points to the bag that is taking up the other side of the bench.

He's about to ask if he can sit when the guy leans back, one hand smoothing down his thigh and sitting lower. Cocky.

"There is a bench," the man points across the walkway to the bench that is not in the sun. His accent is French and Charles is surprised. He doesn't often meet Frenchmen here. "I am refreshing for a work thing currently. These are my notes."

Charles turns to look at the bench and turns back, watching the way the man's eyes are looking at him. Charles could flirt, but he's tired and he doesn't want to flirt to have this guy extend some basic human decency.

"Yes," Charles agrees, but his voice is whiny. "But this bench is in the sun and I left Monaco to live in a sunless place to study here and I would very much like to -"

But then the man cuts him off - in French. "Settle down, princess. I will move my things so you can sit."

And then he winks.

Charles hates that he's pretty and that he is flirting with him now and that he's calling him princess and Charles is blushing uncontrollably, so he tries anger.

He turns away and instead of stopping at the bench just across the walkway, he keeps walking until he is two benches down, throwing himself down into the seat and glaring at the man on his bench.

"Suit yourself," he calls out with one hand cupped around his mouth and Charles wants to throw his coffee in his direction, but he needs it for warmth and also to get through this training.

He glares again and gets a smile back and he's really mad because that man is beautiful and definitely Charles' type, but he's an asshole who doesn't share benches in the sun.

He pulls his book from his bag, tries to ignore the beautiful man on the bench and read.

He manages. Mostly.

He finishes his coffee and he reads three chapters of his book and then he takes the long way around so he doesn't have to walk by rude man again and then when he's sure he's out of earshot, he sends Arthur a three minute voice note about the shade of his eyes and how much of an asshole he was and then as he's walking into the place where all the grad students are gathering to start their six week training course before they're let out onto their own next semester to teach their own courses, Arthur texts back mate when is the last time you got laid?

Charles is typing back an even ruder reply when the front door of the lecture hall bangs open and in walks rude asshole from the park.

"Hello," he greets them in English and Charles starts to wonder if it's not too late to drop out entirely and return home and work for Lorenzo. "I have been drafted from the education department to oversee this course."

Charles wants to sink through the floor because his eyes have started to roam over the 17 participants in this lecture series and he's nearing Charles.

"My name is Pierre Gasly and -" he pauses looking right at Charles, one side of his mouth tugging up into a smile, "I have just spent the last hour sitting in the sun and I'm in a wonderful mood, so we can skip straight to today's objective before I release you back into the world so hopefully you all can get some sunshine as well."

And then he winks.

Pierre.

Charles barely contains his scoff. It's going to be a long six weeks.

[writingsofwesteros]

KeepingupwiththeTargs

King's Landing

45,000 likes

KeepingupwiththeTargs New crumb: Aegon and Daenora last night, posted on @ bestieinta's ig story.

view all comments

user1: lmaooooo not the hat

user2: that hat really does scream Aegon- also Daenora aka Mommy is just 🥵

user3: the hat, the manspreading- Aegon Targaryen everyone

aemondsothereye: you just know when Aemond saw that hat he rlly said- you've gotta be shitting me

targtowersunofficial: they're so unbothered I love it

user4: every time you see them it suddenly makes sense why they're siblings, yet into each other

daeronT

King's Landing Country Club

450,000 likes

tagged daenoraT, aegonT, aemondT and helaenaT

daeronT golf day (Yes, Aemond smiles, contrary to popular belief. Also Nora and Helly stole Luke and Joff's new dog)

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alicenthightower: my babies <3

aemondT: that isn't me, that smile was photoshopped

keepingupwiththetrags: RARE AEMOND SMILING PIC AGAIN?

user1: this picture called me poor in so many wayssss

user6: Rare Daeron posttttt 😚

robyn: you left out the cutest targ 😏

daeronT: @ robyn 🤭

daenoraT: don't regret it, he was adorable

helaenaT: @ daenora same babe

rhaenyraT: @ daenoraT @ helaenaT you guys keeping him at yours, or...

alicenthightower: @ rhaenyraT absolutely not, no dogs in the house

user7: rhanicent in the commentsssss????

LOVE LOVE LOVE! Robyn teasing Daeron, we love to see it !!

user7: rhanicent in the commentsssss???? Oh you know their fans are so wild and deranged!!

(the golf photo is just screaming MONEY MONEY MONEY)

[riddlemesharks]

Madhouse Mike Headcanons because i like men

He LOVES videogames and I mean LOVES

Pokemon? he owns all the games, yes even the non main series ones. Legend of Zelda? his favorite is Majoras Mask (take a wild guess as to why)

Robyn introduced him to Animal Crossing and he did NOT put it down for atleast 7 hours (still plays it daily)

He can get incredibly anxious about himself and letting others down sometimes HOWEVER I think he would either immediately get a confidence boost or get rlly flustered and stuttery if someone complimented his boobs

(the above headcanon is half inspired by one of my friends who gets confident if you talk about his ass)

His music taste is a little hard to tell tbh

I think he'd be a fan of a lot of music but with him definitely drinking Monster Energy (this is pretty much canon at this point) I can also imagine him listening to incredibly fast paced music

Probably has a gameboy with a monster energy sticker

if he has a height difference on someone and knows they're comfortable with it he'll just like fully encase someone

your face, his boobs, always

he probably either manspreads or politely sits criss cross applesauce

if he manspreads your welcome to just sit between his legs and lean into him

hes a ghost and a VERY COLD ONE at that, so expect him to put his hands on your neck to watch you jolt

just hug him harder he'll warm up eventually

When hes in his orb ball form PLEASE use him as a teddy bear just grab him and squish him please

Hes basically a stress relief ball

[tarak-manspread]

RATING NANDAMURI TARAKA RAMA RAO JR'S MANSPREADS ON A SCALE OF 1 - 10

Jai, my beloved!!!! The undefeated KING of campy manspreads, the only character with a 100% PERFECT TEN record, goes undefeated for yet another round! Behold the sinister eye contact, the aggressive fist plant into the thigh, the veritable ACRE of space between his knees, the tension lines in his trousers, the oversized watch, yes! ALL my favorite manspread qualities are here! And he's on a different throne every time!!!! I have many of these JLK promo shots in the Tarak Manspread Definitive Collection, and they're all on different thrones. Because he has like twelve of them. He's insane and I love him.

I see so much visceral aggression, such unchecked entitlement and manly posturing here. It really is a work of art! Jai's insistence on taking up as much space as physically possible is what this review series is all about! Simply SCRUMPTIOUS.

FINAL VERDICT: 10/10

[alarrytale]

I guess you're right, TZP doesn't outright deny that he's got a husband. But I saw him speaking about an ex-gf and he calls his husband "my friend". He's also always emphasizing that his character Alex fell in love with a person that just so happened to be a man. And it always seems heartfelt, passionate and like he relates to that a lot. I haven't heard gay men speak like this about their partner, it gives more pan vibes. But who knows... he could just be deflecting.

Anyway, I don't think he's completely fine with being out and he values his privacy. Which is totally understandable because homophobia is still a very big thing, especially in certain countries.

One more thing about his looks. Yes, to us he may look like a gay model. But I don't think the average straight homophobic person would see him as gay. My homophobic family members would never assume he's anything but straight because of his masculine body type, facial hair, body hair, him constantly manspreading etc. They'd immediately ask if Nick is gay though.

Hi, anon!

I think that TZP is in a glass closet. Being in a glass closet still means that he's closeted. I don't think he wants to come out, but i don't think he wants to be further closeted either. He's trying to lay low when it comes to his private life, his sexuality and marriage. He's not hiding it very well either and don't take steps to keep it on the dl. We don’t know if he's gay or bi/pan. Plenty of gay men have had gfs, so it doesn’t tell us anything. TZP has never said that Garrett is a friend, but he's told stories, that we know is about Garrett, and referred to the person he's talking about as friend. They're friends, but also married.

We also have to differentiate between TZP and Alex, the character he plays. Alex is someone who sees themselves as straight, despite having queer experiences, but his attraction to Henry is so strong that he figures out he's bisexual. For Alex he just happened to fall in love with a person that is man. Isn't that usually how people figure out they're lesbian/gay/bi/pan? They experience same sex attraction? I think TZP relates to that, but he's speaking from Alex's point of view, not his own.

I don't think he values his privacy more than anyone else, he's simply closeted. We get plenty of family photos and photos of TZP and Garrett together. They're not being subtle at all. I also disagree about not clocking TZP as queer. It's just as easy to do as with Nick, if not easier. TZP has got more twink-ish features and stereotypically queer mannerisms than Nick does.