#yes that is part of a comment i just got
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"You're putting your sick fantasies onto fictional characters!!"
Oh!! Oh no! I was putting FANTASIES... onto FICTIONAL characters!?! Why did no one tell me!?
#yes that is part of a comment i just got#and i implore you to read my response in the most sarcastic tone you can imagine#proshipper#proship#profiction#anti anti
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This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.
Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said “Hello, Captain.” Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied “Well, hello yourself.” The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. “Rook, is that really you?” He nodded. “It’s me.” Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said “What did she do to you?” Rook’s heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmar’s ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out “Two years.” A wave of grief swept across Zara’s face as she said “I’m so, so sorry.” Rook shook his head vigorously. “It’s not your fault.” Zara ignored him. “It is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.” Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. “She sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I… I let you down.” Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him… somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. “Where were you?” And why didn’t you come? “She said she’d kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. You’re standing here because I stopped sailing.”
(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#btw when I say that what she said was more painful than any wound wolf inflicted I'm not just talking about her not saving him.#it also just hurts him to know that she was hurting too.#she left him with that woman for two years (to save his life yes. but she left him there all the same) and yet half of his thoughts are#''I'm sorry I hurt you.''#ROOK. MY BELOVED BABY BOY. PLEASE.#STOP APOLOGIZING.#also if anyone needs a cheering up after this please know that their conversation got interrupted by a giant snake showing up and zara#immediately asking Rook ''WHAT DID YOU DO???'' bc she knows her boy.#and he's like ''idk I just woke up like an hour ago'' and then he suddenly remembers that he swore like 3 times (town rules say no to that)#and he just goes ''SHIT'' and Zara fucking clamps her hand over his mouth and says ''take that back!''#and through her hand he says ''how the fuck am I supposed to take that back?'' and she just clamps his mouth harder.#oh. and the time he swore earlier was bc he stepped outside and got spit on by a bull and he was like ''is this normal??''#and someone said ''I've never seen that happen but these animals are part of [big snake almost-god]'s menagerie'' and hands Rook a paper#with all the town rules (there are many). And he goes ''what the fuck?'' and then he gets to the rule that reads ''no swearing'' and he goe#''SHIT!'' and then he realizes what he says and goes ''AAAHHHH.'' and I was cackling.#I was doing this on purpose btw. I knew that this would make the snake mad at me and I did it anyway bc I am a chaos gremlin.#however I did NOT know I would get Rook's only friend from before the party killed by doing this. RIP Jay. I loved you so much.#but yeah. my boy swears like a sailor bc he is one. and it did in fact get people killed. But it was funny to me.#ALSO when she met the party the first thing she said was ''thank you for saving my boy'' and I almost sobbed.#like yeah. he is her boy.#I'm going to explode just thinking about it.#okay if you read all these tags I love you forever and please feel free to yell at my idiot boy in the comments/tags/wherever.#maybe if enough of us join in he'll actually listen. (no he won't)#OH RIGHT. And the party is finally staring to realize how much of a capital L Liar this man is.#because they can literally see him catching himself about to say ''I'm fine'' every time they ask how he's doing
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Oh ok. I get now why a lot of people didn't vibe with the ending.
All and all: excellent manga, overall very good final act, too rushed final 2-3 chapters but weak and honestly mediocre epilogue, which makes the high of the ending kind of leave a bitter taste. I think Noda had a good steed and suddenly he had to finish and had to rush all. So the ending in the sense of the final arc was good but the ending proper (final couple chapters) + epilogue......... Not so much
#i liked rhe ending (though made the mistake to read comments so now I'm like 'yeah you are right that did not make sense' when on my own i#probably would not have noticed. but ok. I'll work my suspension of disbelief. HOWEVER the epilogue WAS indeed very lackluster#i get it's an epilogue but it was so rushed. we barely get a closure for ume and saichi and tanigaki did not get to#take asirpa back to uci as he should have (though he was instrumental for that). overall it was super rushed#like we did not even see how Sugimoto was rescued. the epilogue was faaaar too rushed tbh and also too vague in parts#siraishi not really saying goodbye.... also sugimoto and asirpa living together that's cute idc and i think the line into nastyness was not#crossed but oh boy is it a thin thread... i still choose to believe they are platonic soulmates lol but i want to see an official#translation of the volume that's all i say. what else... oh yes. the way the gold never got to actually be distributed doesn't sit right#with me at all but the worst part was definitely the sugimoto/ume thing oh god that was BAD#we did get to see osoma which was cute#OH AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON VASILY??? We didn't even see him. the epoligue for him in particular was great though but his ending was not#like he just hanged around ogata gor chapters and chapters on end and we don't even get a glimpse of him during the final showdown??#tbh i think noda wanted to do something more with him but realized he did not quite fit into the story and in the end got#caught up with all the main lines he did have to close and he obviously had planned and probably combined with his own exhaustion well#did not go nice for vasily! i also would have liked a more proper epilogue for tsukishima and koito. they deserved it#I don't like how pre-epilogue the tsukishima-tsurumi-koito tension seems to reach a breaking point only to kind of not get resolved because#they have to keep fighting lol.#laura reads#also i get the sentiment of the ending regarding the ainu and i think noda did his best but it seems like a rather soft thing for asirpa to#do like... sure. museums and stuff. i GET it but it goes a little too soft in the actual colonialism that went on from the japanese. i feel#noda starts off fairly critical of that but in the end softens his stance which is a shame but ok. the bar is in hell so this is actually#much better than average from what i can personally gather of my little knowledge#golden kamuy#gk spoilers
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Sunday blues under the cut
I'm going through my Google docs and my favorite (recs) AO3 bookmarks and like. there's something about the nostalgia here that's making me really sad for some reason and maybe it's because I've been so much less engaged with fandom stuff since I left Twitter.
Like I still read constantly and comment when I can, but maybe it's because of the culture that tends to softly discourage reblogs with comments (as opposed to Twitters endless streams of little public discussions, at least back in like 2019-2021) that I feel extremely disconnected.
I've got my little pockets of two or three friends here and there but a group? A fandom? A place where I felt like part of a community of likeminded people?
I don't know. I think I'm just back on that same old "I want to write something that matters to to someone" train and the only thing I've written with that level of plot and teeth is the fucking Genshin fic and I'm just. I wish I didn't care so much about making friends! I wish I didn't have to fight so hard to feel like I belonged! But Katsucon put into sharp relief that I don't have nearly the amount of IRL support that I need to be okay. I'm the mom friend to 80% of the people I know, and the other 3 individuals cannot be expected to keep helping me out of every crisis I have.
I don't know what happened to me in the past few years. I know some things have gotten better. But I miss so, so much just having a group of people to get EXCITED about creative projects with - or even just being able to hang out in person and not worry about how many annoying stupid things I've done in the past hour. God. GOD.
I know that I'm still talented. There's still something worth keeping in this body. But I feel like I've lost my ability to showcase it or share it in a way that isn't just Laurel (whom I love) doggedly trying to keep my sense of worth above water.
The only thing I feel like people like me for is my credit card. And it's something. It helps the people I love. But. God, I wish I could be something else.
#I feel like whether K*OSA passes or not. fandom is dying#and I'm dying with it#all I ever wanted to do was make things that got people excited. Make them think. made them feel#and I know I used to!!!#but that's gone now#or at least the audience is#and I wish that just the act of creating could be enough#but what is the joy in bread when no one eats it?#(yes a BIG part of this is that I have torn myself into pieces for a fic I cannot BEG my friends to read and comment on)
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i also think that you can’t really do aegond in the way people do lucem*nd where the other party is basically a self insert being romanced by aemond (no shade, ship and let ship) because again, luke is a blank slate so you don’t need to relate to his experiences and emotions re: aemond whereas aegon does have a defined personality and also how in the name of holy god can anyone who isn’t aegon or aemond relate to this shit
#personal#like mayhaps it's just me maybe i grew up sheltered#but i have never EVER grabbed someone's face and begged them to let me be happy and they could be happy too#and known that they'd say yes if i begged hard enough until someone put an end to it and all my hopes got dashed#and in that moment i hated that person almost as much as i loved them#nor if i'm being honest have i ever had my face cradled by someone pleading for freedom i really wanna give them#only to not be able to do it and watched the hope die in their eyes when they realized that there's no way out#and part of that is now my fault too#i haven't been in either of those situations because IT'S INSANE#god i made one comment about crackshipping aegond and now everyone's making me talk about it
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hey there's a lot of shit out in the world but like. there's also 300k fanfics written as labours of love and exuberant comment threads on art that point out and gush over little details and there's people who spend hours sewing tiny details on their cosplays and there's fragments of poetry that get shared over and over and bring emotions over and over and there's entire communities of people built around 'we loved a story together' or 'we made a story together' and there's people poring over every line in a work and building theories together and there's getting together with your friends to have ridiculous fantasy adventures every week and yeah. there's some good stories here too yknow.
#text post#my post#yes this post was made immediately after d&d when i am emotional about the absolute fucking luck and joy of getting to do this regularly#but like#yknow not to quote the 11th doctor on you but it's TRUE we are all stories in the end#anyway i've been listening to lilli furfaro's stories a lot can you tell#just like. art and people and shared story and yeah#i got like three ao3 comments from the same person last week cause i'd left a comment on their work#and like. we don't know each other we've never met but now we've gone through each other pages and realised we feel the same way about this#and we have made each other smile with comments multiple times over the last week. that's fucking wild#like you know you watch a cosplay video and you see how many people and how much love and how much togetherness has gone into it#you recommend a book to a friend with your favourite passages underlined#you take part in a fic exchange and you make each other cry with words#you watch your friends roll dice and have emotions and fight and succeed and fail and you build a world together#idk idk i'd say i'm too emotional about this but i think i am the right amount of emotional actually#as lilli furfaro said. stories stitched together are how families are born
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and if i said the mtt reminded me of these three idols then would i get tarred and feathered
#YES!!!! anyways when will someone draw them all in straitjackets istg#ive been on a bit of a new artist roll today. just discovered akali. and then checked out these 3#ikigusare idols i knew you 3 were mtt from the moment i saw you no doubt. a shame sango is green instead of purple#anyways mtt connection i like how niigo's left eye is the same eye that flickers killer's sans part ish eye#but like the eye is literally sewn and kept open forcefully. like hey sans part of killer you gotta b part of this 2! no looking away!#was thinking the 3rd eye on sango could be like papyrus. like 2/3 of the head is dust and 1/3 is paps#took seeing his brother to whole different level!#horror's is obvious his eye's just 1 because he's got his whole 1 eye symbolism#mtt but they all have body disformations and its all related to their eyes somehow#can just imagine like...... killer's left eyesocket bashed open and the eye floating in there while the dt goop constantly flows out of it#ikigusare idols all have the same voice and#the mtt would.... as well..... bc theyre all yhe same guy#these idols dont have canon lore im like 80% sur i can make as many crazy mtt connections to them as i possibly can#their music is so like. just a LITTLE bit off. like obviously the voices but just like the notes are just SLIGHTLY off and its so duchahahhh#im not gonna listen to them regularly bc it not my thing but hahahaha mtt........ mtt reference#my english notes have mtt references in them. my friend makes mtt references now because of me#i squeeze my shampoo into my hand in a sparkle star heart shape because of the mtt#it was 4:30 in the morning today and i saw a tiktok comment mentioning the mtt and i tried not yo scream#yk i think ive convinced myself that im not as deranged as i really am about these 3 but lime........ erm what the murder this is freaky!#someone said in a gc that they auditions for acapella and wondered if they got in#this is so mean but my first verbal reaction was literally hell no💀 its SO MEAN#theyre rubbing off on me help. i cant just say it was all the mtt's fault when i'm a goddamn asshole#NO OFFICER I SWEAR IT WAS THE SKELETONS THE THREE SKELETONS THEY POSSESSED ME TO SHOOT THE#yeah....... lets not continue down that path (i say as i made several 9/11 jokes today unprompted)#god typing out tags with silly comments like these are so satisfying :3 always forget how much i luuuuv thumblr#DAMN my typing style has changed a LOT from what i remember. in just a couple of months ive evolved#tricule rant
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no wait what the fuck do you mean they said 'pinkie pie is similar to ben shapiro'. ive never heard a wronger thing in my life.
I dunno😭😭😭 the exact post with like ‘are there any other autistic bimbo [character]s? I only know these 2’ and then it showed pinkie pie and Ben Shapiro 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#yes pinkie pie is autistic but a bimbo??? and o didn’t even comment about the Ben Shapiro part💀#also every bimbo character is autistic to me🙂↕️#AND#I thought the post was a joke so I commented something g jokey and they got SO mad😦😦😦#they were like#don’t every correct me again because when I say something I mean it😡😡#and I just said ok#cause wtf
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Big YouTubers doing like Temu hauls is one thing (like people gotta make their money, haul videos are popular, even more so when it's a cheap store/website that people can also afford to shop at. Overconsumption and promotion of it are bad, and these websites are shady for a number of reasons. Shit's complicated)
But there really is something kind of extra dystopian (not in a "super dystopian" but just "basic dystopia but with a little bit of spice on top") about watching a big YouTuber buy multiple art prints from Temu, that're a single stock cartoon drawing of a black cat slapped on top of famous public domain paintings, and then sing praises for these prints for being "high quality" and how they're so happy to decorate their home with them
#Moon posting#Like yes art prints from small artists can be expensive (compared to mass produced garbage that went directly into some CEO's pocket)#But like. Oh how I wish big YouTubers could like. Do their art print/decor hauls from small artists on Etsy or some shit#Seeing people in the comments be like ''oh those art prints were so cute I bought some myself thanks for the tip :)'' was just so#And the most painful part was looking at the stock cartoon prints and being immidiately able to think of at least one small artist#Who has made art vaguely similar to those but like. 100% from scratch. With their own hands. And it's beautiful. On my wishlist#Instead of being an old public domain painting with a stock cartoon cat slapped on top of it#Like yeah I get it low income people might not be as interested in clicking on that video since they can't relate to it etc#But god damn you have a million subscribers and get 200k views per video SURELY YOU CAN AFFORD A 15 BUCK ART PRINT ON ETSY#(Also god damn I can fucking promise you a YTber with such a big platform could bring in SO MUCH TRAFFIC for a small artist like)#(IDK I should've been in bed like an hour ago I just got Annoyed)#(What can I say I look stupid and make very little money)
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Game review from real gamer. i am not finished at all but saga of sins. Yeah. Platformer where everything looks like stained glass and u turn into monsters to enter people’s minds and fight sin. U can pet the dog and also enter the dog’s mind (he is free sin)
#txt#its scratching the history/religion/art fixation part of my brain so good#u are a littel priest and u fight the demons in sinners’ minds to free them but… are u really freeing them or are u committing sin urself??#its a lot of this tortured littel guy being all ‘hey what is sin REALLY? love thy neighbor but cannot fuck?? hello god whats up w that’ but-#-in a plagued by demons sort of way#what is the morality of it all? idk man the priest just got back from the crusade and have been just as many comments on how noble that is-#-as there have been ‘hey not cool’ and ‘why r u trying to purge sin when wrath made u kill fellow humans’ etc#im not expecting an answer on that exactly as the game is *very* european lmao#anyway i think its gonna end with either fighting god or fighting the devil OR u turn into the devil. some hell on earth kinda deal#also. hope no one reads so far but this dude looks like how i draw ye ole medieval nicky and i have brain worms. so its a bonus#but by itself. im fucking LOVE the stained glass look of it all#its not terribly original game play as it is a platformer but man never seen a game with this look#so 10/10 for aesthetics lol#yike im done now. sudden need to tell everyone abt my fav game of this week u know how it is
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Losing my fp is gonna fucking hurt but I just idk I can’t find a way this is gonna end well so I’m coming to terms with it
#it’s was a fine 4 years#the last year was already hard as fuck lmao#funny we got into a fight exactly a year ago too over him saying if you’re too sensitive don’t be on social media#I still have his Christmas present because we haven’t gotten to see eachother since#October I think is when we last met in person#just a week ago he was offering to hang out because of all the shit my mom said to me#I also have the other friend that’s involved in all of this’s Christmas gift#I was gonna mail it to him#oh well I guess#I just idk I’m so hurt#but this feels like what I’d been worried would happen ever since their obsession with each other got worse and worse#like I get it bpd does that you get obsessed believe me I know but y’all have been feeding into it with these ‘jokes’ lately and well#all the times y’all have said to each other you don’t need friend you only need me as a haha joke is gonna become true if y’all don’t get#some help and soon and like I think one of their psychiatrists said that their relationship was unhealthy and also one sided once#which unhealthy YES one sided?? nah not at all#but they both were like baffled and just didn’t believe the unhealthy part#I commented on it only saying how was it one sided because I knew if I agreed with the unhealthy part they’d both hate me lol#because believe it or not mutual obsession is not healthy lmao idc how romanticized it’s been getting it will never be healthy#I have a bf now and I strive to never be like that to him because i don’t want us to become mutually obsessed like that I don’t want us to#isolate ourselves for eachother whether knowingly or unknowingly just today he apologized because he’s been busy and I always let him know#it’s perfectly okay if he just never has time to message me one day because I know that’s healthy even if my brain is screaming#like yeah I still have intrusive thoughts I get jealous of his friends like way too jealous and I want him all to myself but I stop myself#from acting on any of those thoughts because I know it leads to a controlling abusive realtionship and I don’t want to be that he doesn’t#deserve that so it is so fucking confusing when they ‘joke’ and tell the other to delete a photo or tweet and then the other actually does#idk how they can’t see that that’s fucked#okay sorry lol but hey if y’all read the tags on the I’m so lost post and know what I did wrong please tell me because no one else will!
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22 of June, 2023. Around 10:37AM.
Note: V1 was randomly reading Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon vol. 10 specifically.
#ultrakill#warmups#sketchbooks#self shipping#self ship community#cuddling & snuggling#CW: SELF-SHIPPING.#☆. SOLANNE CONTINUUM WORKS.#☆. LITTLE DOODLINGS.#☆. SOLANNE'S ART DIARY.#☆. PERSONAL WORKS.#☆. THE HOST (VITA/me).#☆. THE MACHINE (V1).#☆☆☆ COMMENTS:#V-kun usually wakes up before I do (got up after 11AM yesterday) so while I slept he randomly looked at my manga#why vol. 10 specifically I don't know but he was staring at pg 82 when Usagi and Mamoru return and then transform together#I wonder if he's actually enjoying Sailor Moon like Wayne and Elder-kun do or if it's just for the heck of it#also yes this is my actual bed and a part of my room!! My room is very small so I sleep on a loft bed#NEVERMIND THE FACT THAT I GOT THE PATTERN ON MY WEIGHTES BLANKET WRONG#but it's a warm-up doodle so who cares www
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no bc i just got a really long and thoughtful comment on one of my fics and it made me so happyyyy
#dont be afraid to comment on old fics yall!!!!!#it will make the authors day!!!!#i mean its not a super old one but its pre-tpotd so#old enough that people probably wouldnt comment if they read it now#but im so glad i got thisfjfjfjf#esp because its more than just 'i loved this!!!'#it describes parts they liked and stuff#which i loveeee#like yes let me know what i did good
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need y’all to know that in my very serious presentation about birds i’m adding a pic of nikolai to every frame as some sort of compromise with myself to not just talk to my friends abt bsd for who knows how long but still scratch that special interest itch so now it looks like this
#yes i edited them all out of the manga myself. it's not like i got anything better to do#the small hebrew parts are me commenting on him like ''look he's got a gun :)'' ''look he's hovering :)'' bc i love him :)#he likes birds and hates the government!!!!! it only makes sense!!!!!! (also just like me fr <3)
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Oh yeah rosy cheeks are so cute until they start lying! Acting like the slightest exertion or warmth is the worst thing ever and absolutely cannot be coped with, the traitors
#ace is a grumpy bean#being super pale but rosy cheeked just means my face flushes super easily and makes it look way worse to an outsider than it is#like is something a little heavier than i would like? whole face bright red. am i little more active than i would like?#whole face bright red. is it a little warmer than i would like? whole face bright red. such treachery#people be like 'are you alright youre really red right now?' like yes i know she does that its a bit warm and i have no control over the#temperature nor my biological reaction to it alright fck off im fine shes overreacting#i just got back from grocery shopping and its too warm its a half hour walk and my groceries were heavier than normal so i came home#bright lobster red and its not even fcking sunburn like im pretty sure i burnt part of my arms cus i didnt put enough sunscreen on and#theyre less red than my face thats how ridiculous this whole thing is 😒 she be lying telling everyone im waaay more affected than i am#this has been relevant all week cus of work but i cant actually see how red my face is when coworkers are commenting on it only feel it
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Currently fighting with someone in the pmore SA/LatAm tour post comment section bc apparently the UK is all of Europe and ppl from Europe don't get to ask to have a good time bc bri'ish people only think abt themselves and as long as they get what *they* want that's all that matters I guess 💁🏼♀️ woe is me 🙄🙄
#Like lmao first I was like 'maybe ur just confused' and gave them the benefit of the doubt and shit#Bc I commented where are the eu dates and they said 'oh scroll back they already did' even tho I KNEW that was bs#Bc they had only announced UK so I said sure it's a part of Europe but there are more countries#If that's eu then I guess I live in Narnia and they literally just went "well I got tickets no prob#If u lived where I do u wouldn't have any problems with that' like NO FUCKING SHIT guess u don't get to have a good time then?#Oh my God what an asshole I am for asking to see one of my fav bands my poor little European peasant self 🙄🙄 GAG#It was just sooooo condescending now I'm seeing red you tried it bitch#That's not the exact wording of what they said but it lowkey got me abt to ask someone to hold my purse bc I'm gonna act out#wow anna said something#anna's shitposts#You can take your atitude and shove it up your ass while you're at it... Fucking British people...#I literally dk if they're British but I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume bc the whole thing was abt the UK#Yes it was on the SA leg post bc that's what's abt to start lol#Either way if they're not I don't rly care bc the way they said it just sounded like they get shit without having to ask... So UK#Bc they always get shows for everything but ik it's not the same for LatAm#*I don't get get not u it's 3am give me a break bro (in the 3rd tag)
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