#yes no one asked for this

[lowpolylobotomy]

favourite unhhhh moments from this season thus far

“downton abbey’s been crrrawling with transsexuals since the industrial revolution”

“david silver ? fuckin’ a pussy.” “hope you like snatch, cunt, i’m coming back a woman !”

“i’m his wiiiife ….. cheryl ….. i’m heeere … his dying wish was a handjob in the hospital beddd ….”

“your mom’s fat ass at large”

[an-honest-puck]

list of my fave ball players in chronological order of when I suddenly became inexplicably fascinated with them

JESS MCCREADY, LUPE GARCIA, AND ESTI GONZALEZ every single fictional Rockford Peach in the TV series 'A League of Their Own' + Max Chapman

Shohei Ohtani

Aaron Judge

Trea Turner

[soaked-doors]

pirates and their unconventional weddings (marines crashed it seven times)

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[kyoukorpse]

mean to them.

continuation of this lol.

[me-beef]

@strangeravatar made a great point

i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make

but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do

ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad

[liimonadas]

so i've been playing a game

[proxycrit]

LINKTOBER DAY 22, SEABED INN

Nothing like ending the adventure with a weird dream and manifesting a new spooky ring! Link’s too tired to wake Zelda for this one.

(That zora is a strange one, choosing to live near the sky. Have you heard? Rumors have it she even took one of the last zonai as a student.

I heard she taught it healing arts!

I heard she let it near the Sky Princess.

Oh no!

Didn’t she know the Zonai are cursed? Nothing ever goes right with their magic. That’s why they were taken by the malice.)

Interested in more of this au? Check out this masterpost (it all started when Zelda didn’t time travel back in time)

Want to see wips and character faces without Rauru’s brainfog getting in the way? Mayhaps you should check out my patreon :0

[noodles-and-tea]

whaddya think of the mystery trio?

I LOVE!!!!!

[hinamie]

I'm always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call, you come home

[buttercupshands]

I took that as a challenge so now it's a full comic of me making Siffrin happier by the second

And a small bonus

Because there's not one but two Siffrins who deserve some happiness in their lives

even if by just getting their favorite snack

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest

Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here

Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭

It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony

[trueloveistreacherous]

The last time I made something "official", it didn't work out. And I...I really, really, really, really want this to work out. So, I guess I'm a little scared. But we're not your last time. We're this time.

Quinta Brunson and Tyler James Williams as Janine Teagues and Gregory Eddie in Back to School (S04E01) Abbott Elementary (2021-present)

[zillychu]

assorted brainrot from like 2 months ago

[markscherz]

Behold, the European platonic ideal of a frog.

[time-woods]

he does in fact chirp