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batsplat · 2 months ago

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GAJJHMAKSNS now that I know there’s CONTEXT I MIGHT BE MISSING on some of the Casey / Vale shitposts I need to know them all 😭😭😭 (I’m the anon who commented on the Jorge / Casey / Vale “ordeal of being perceived” one & I was absolutely delighted to find out that backstory bc I didn’t know about it!!). if tou have the time would you share some details about the very last one?? I can’t figure out what race that press conference is for…also the orca one!!! Where is that!!! What did Valentino just do!!!

(about these) sO I will say they don't ALL have particularly meaningful extra context behind them. the last one is from qatar 2008, which is one of those pressers that just throws up a bunch of suitably evocative text post-able photos:

strong collection, if I do say so myself. some of them have already featured in the text posts, some will feature in future editions

unfortunately for pre-2010, it's very hit and miss which motogp pressers get uploaded in full - generally it's a miss. which means that all I have to go by is my knowledge of the actual time period, stuff cobbled together from the race itself, the short interview clips we have available, and a few photos. luckily this is enough to make a pretty good guess about what the vibes were like. this is of course the first presser of the new season - everyone convening again, casey the defending champion and valentino's back-to-basics haircut signalling he means business. here's a clip of valentino talking in the run up to the season about his new tyres but also his motivation (and haircut):

said tyres also get brought up in the presser - and it's not too much of a stretch to assume quite a few of the questions that haven't been uploaded were ALSO on the subject of valentino's much vaunted switch to the bridgestone tyres. casey, of course, had spent the previous year being extremely irritable about any suggestion that the tyre difference might be providing him any sort of advantage. it's one of the big reasons he was so pissed off at valentino by the end of the year, because he felt valentino had been making excuses

so, y'know. back to school presser. casey is out to defend his title and still feels like he's not getting the credit he deserves. and after testing there is little sign of the problems that would come to so plague ducati's early season (x):

This year's race is likely to be very similar. Casey Stoner has gotten better and better, been the fastest when the chips are down in testing, and perhaps far more disturbingly, has usually been the first rider to pack up shop and go back to the hotel every day, a sure sign that Stoner and Ducati have gotten through their test work and having nothing left to do. Stoner is ready, and if you thought Mr Perfect was perfect last year, just wait till this season.

casey's feeling confident but is also preemptively irritable about the whole 'will valentino's tyre switch win him the title' debate (*coughs* yes). he has a really really subtle tell for when he's in a bit of a bad mood, aka randomly getting tetchy about his fellow riders. and while we don't know what he may or may not have said about valentino specifically, thanks to the race commentary we DO know he took the opportunity to say he didn't think poor wee rookie jorge lorenzo would be fighting for that year's title. which, okay, that turned out to be true - but it did age hilariously badly for a month or so when jorge took the first three poles of the season and was joint leader of the championship after three races. and was also perhaps just a little tactless from casey... who can say. meanwhile valentino's still finding his bearings with the new tyres, but is ofc extremely determined to have a better year - also isn't a stranger to being demonstratively cheery to project confidence. both are getting asked about said tyres, probably on multiple occasions... so that's my best guess for why the vibes would be a bit off

the orca post is from catalunya 2008, a description of which you can find here. that post also includes another photo of casey giving valentino a rather sceptical look. tbh I don't think if casey has any particular reason to give valentino the stink eye here... this is valentino on a three race win streak and casey saying he's not focusing on the championship, though he's steadily been improving in the last few races. valentino talks about how much he enjoyed the battle with casey the previous year... no obvious cause of tension between the pair of them. sometimes casey just had resting bitch face towards valentino, it is what it is

so those didn't really have that much extra context but some of the others DO get (slightly) elevated by knowing where they're from. here goes:

'series of unfortunate events': catalunya 2006, in which casey got a lightning start (two times actually, given the red flag interruption after a horror crash). he leads early on until valentino passes him and then runs a close second... until he crashes for the second consecutive race. a very crash-heavy and at times frustrating rookie season, despite all his obvious speed. valentino went on to comfortably win the race

'horrors about to summon': sachsenring 2008, as mentioned in the notes. this was casey's third consecutive win, won relatively comfortably in the wet after dani crashed out from the lead (see here). valentino had worked his way up the field to finish second, but once again poor qualifying and mediocre starts had denied him the chance to fight for victory. if he wants to beat casey, he's going to have to try something new... next up: laguna seca

'tryin to drown myself': mugello 2008, not actually a super plot relevant photo but thought I'd bring it up because it's the race right before the aforementioned catalunya presser - valentino triumphs ahead of casey, who in turn won a pretty tight fight against dani (see here). casey and valentino do share quite a nice hug in parc fermé. just to say

'hey that guys a murderer': deliberately kept that one as obvious as possible by choosing a photo with 'motegi 2010' glaring back at you from the middle of the screen. obviously that particular race featured valentino's repeated murder attempts on his poor teammate in one of his funnier spite rides. (this ofc is the race right before the sepang presser featured in the previous post.) casey is delighted to win and valentino is delighted to beat jorge, meaning the podium vibes are actually excellent and valentino is perfectly charming in casey's direction. it will have only been later that casey gets a chance to properly watch the race back and see exactly what valentino got up to (though the presser questions at the very latest will have tipped him off, valentino's quotes included here). casey comments afterwards that if valentino tried something like laguna 2008 on him again, valentino would get it back tenfold. unfortunately he never quite got the chance to try for some revenge

'need affection': that's ofc the qatar 2007 photo and valentino's infamous *checks notes* 'head rubbing' of casey. which left such an impression on poor little casey that he mentioned it in his autobiography not once, not twice, but a grand total of three times - bemoaning how valentino's standards of congratulations had clearly slipped after that high benchmark. see here, bless him. whether valentino really became all that much more of a sore loser after races is up for debate, but casey clearly expected better (see also casey being unhappy with valentino not shaking his hand immediately after clinching the 2007 title - and after valentino was featured on casey's championship-winning shirt too...)

'too weak': catalunya 2009, another event that just provided a high quantity of very evocative photos/screenshots. this one's all about valentino and jorge's epic last lap duel and them both engaging in a highly amusing dick-measuring contest in its aftermath - while casey is extremely close to keeling over a few feet away from them. unique podium vibes. the first race properly affected by casey's mystery illness, brought about in part by the gruelling conditions at catalunya... all three of the podium finishers are utterly exhausted, but casey can barely stand. a little more on that race from casey's pov here, including him taking some time off from half-dying to drag jorge's last corner defending skills

and that's it for this lot, lmk if you want context notes on the previous editions!

#and if you got the indy 2008 reference in the previous edition... lmk #//#brr brr #batsplat responds #heretic tag

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leam1983 · 2 months ago

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Tech - FAQ

Why do magnets still fuck up computers? Aren't plate drives archaic?

Plate drives might be going the way of the dodo as active storage, but magnetism isn't going anywhere. NAND cells use magnetic polarity to shift bits as needed. A control gate handles the programming and the chip's interfacing with the rest of your drive or your system altogether, and a floating gate stores a charge, so that you can theoretically unplug an SSD, leave it lying around for ages, then plug it back in on a whim to find that all your stuff's still there. It's essentially the same tech that's been used since the first few plate drives - and even in things like your old SNES carts. It's why you still have that Megaman X save on your thirty-odd year-old cart - assuming of course that you don't go about sticking a big enough magnet on it.

Fucking magnets - how do they work? I mean, in relation to data?

Alright. Imagine that you're both Jackson Pollock and Magnetism personified. You start out with a row of paint cans and a blank stretch of canvas - a nice, clean and orderly hard drive, more or less. There's magnetic force involved even in the system's proper state - after all, you've got paint in cans. It's just not splashed everywhere, right now.

The thing is, systems want to create neat and orderly drive systems. This is why you'd defragment your drives back when plate drives were super common. The thing is, that pesky user keeps pulling files and shifting them to RAM, which fucks up your neat and orderly arrangement! Unlike raw magnetism, however, a computer fetching files and moving bits around is working as intended. Put a magnet on that drive and, well, you're Pollock splashing paint everywhere, creating beautiful chaos - and an irrecoverable drive.

But if drives are magnetic, then what's the issue?

When an SSD calls up a file, it's doing so in a controlled and expected manner. Magnetism is involved, the NAND chip's configuration changes to match the new state - but nothing's going haywire. Add a magnet to this and you're adding too much of a good thing.

Does any magnet work?

No, thankfully. One of my older PCs ended up with Buckyballs stuck somewhere in the drive cage - I was a dumb teen with way too many desk toys for my own good - and nothing's ever happened. Sticking a fridge magnet or a credit card's strip against a drive won't do much; most PC parts are actually built to tolerate some exposure to open magnetic fields - but leaving that magnet there or going for something bigger might cause issues.

Aren't LCD screens magnetic?

Technically, yes! However, the screen is running off of a controlled and isolated field, and nobody's sticking a computer monitor right next to a running power supply, anyway. You'll need a fairly targeted application of a bigger field to really fuck up your little crystals' polarity - thereby creating the dreaded "dead pixels" video enthusiasts loathe so much.

Let's talk OSes - specifically, dumb shit I'm too scared to try but always wanted to do. What happens if I delete System32 in Windows?

Most modern versions of Windows - we're talking 7 and above - won't let you touch that folder, even with normal elevated system privileges, as a computer's Admin. You can mash Delete for days, the OS just won't let you nuke it. However, a little Terminal wizardry can succeed in telling Windows "shut up, I own you, let me delete the equivalent to your cerebellum, I have Reasons that have nothing to do with wanting to test an insult or run with a shitpost".

The system will ask you a few more times, as you really shouldn't be doing this - and will then let you proceed ahead. In short order, you'll realize that your current rig is, for all intents and purposes, fucked severe. Even rebooting won't let you fix it, even if you're trying to backtrack to a previous Restore Point. Your only option, at this point, is a complete reformat and reinstall.

Is this why the FORMAT.C command always brings up a warning?

That is exactly why. FORMAT.C, in Terminal or PowerShell, is effectively computer-speak for "I want you to start over, in the most abrupt and uncalled-for way possible. Wipe yourself."

And if what you want is to wipe away a system's very existence, there's more effective, physical and gratifying ways of doing that, anyway. Most of them involve an already-scrapped microwave and a power drill! Awesome!

What is the black magic I need to delete System32? I swear I want to do this to a virtual machine, and not to perpetrate an act of technological malfeasance on someone I happen to loathe.

If you need to ask about the black magic, you're not ready for the black magic. Google is your friend, and I'm not responsible for what you do on your own time.

Linux is so much better, the system trusts me! But, just for funzies, how can I fuck up a distro running off of Ubuntu?

It's the object of the same memes as "delete System32". If the darkness calls to you, thou shall find thine answers upon the myriad pages of Google.

Water's a poor conductor; I remember this from Physics class! Why my PC go broky if I spray it with a garden hose, then?

Because it's not the water that's making the magic smoke happen, believe it or not. If you were a baller and could spray your PC with a tank's worth of pure, ozonized water with absolutely zero particulates in it and no minerals whatsoever, it would probably be totally fine. Hell, there's even entire PC build projects that involve immersing components in purified water. The problem is, tap water isn't exactly pure. There's trace minerals in it, we typically add fluoride as well, and most water tables fall somewhere on the pH and alkalinity scales, and not often in the "objectively pure" margins of them. And even if you could guarantee a basin of 100% pure H2O, then you'd just condemn your PC to suffocation by way of its own building and festering thermal mass. You'd need systems to agitate the water or to re-absorb its heat before diffusing it elsewhere.

This is also why distilled water isn't often used in full-immersion builds, seeing as distilled water is hard to keep in its pure state. You need air to leech off some of its absorbed heat, and exposure to the outside world means a potential exposure to trace minerals, dead skin flakes or other bits of stuff that aren't chemically related to water and that happen to conduct a charge a little bit better, so...

Is this why this never really took off, compared to the liquid-cooling rigs we know of?

Yes. A well-assembled water-cooling loop has water come in contact with a cooling plate, which itself touches the CPU, or occasionally the GPU as well. As it's a closed loop, any traces of organic components - like fungi - could be dangerous over time. It's why most dye kits for water-cooling loops typically generously include a little bottle of sterilizer. The one issue is that with copper being one of the most thermally-effective metals and also fairly rust-prone, a lot of care has to be involved. A lot of cautious water-cooling enthusiasts tend to advise users in that space to drain out and dry out their loop every few years, to check for signs of corrosion.

But fans are so noisy!

I know, but if you're a budget, an air-cooled build is going to be the most effective approach you could take.

What about AIOs?

All-in-One systems are convenient, but you can't typically access the coolant that's circulating in the loop. On the one hand, an airtight system means no buildup of anything. On the other? No maintenance is possible. If it breaks, it breaks. The average AIO has a life expectancy of about five years - about the same lifespan as your typical rig.

Why is everyone bad-mouthing Windows? I'm just an end-user, I don't give a shit about what I put on my computron!

In a few words, Microsoft's pivoted from its former business model, which involved selling legitimate copies of their OS at high prices, to selling their users' data to the highest bidder. It generates far more profits, it's dystopian as shit, and it's a frightfully smart business decision. I don't approve of it one bit - but it's still smart. In the "I don't give a shit about you, now give your browser history, I'm Patrick Bateman with a fancy ISO to give to you" sense of it being smart.

You and I are the product, now. This is why people are moving to Linux - even if I think this is a flawed solution to a problem that has objectively very few serious consequences for the average end-user.

What do you mean? This is terrible!

Yes, it is! However, your collection of cat pics or your snapping stills with a phone because DRM doesn't let you capture frames for a gifset is of zero worth whatsoever to both Microsoft and the advertisers your data is sold to. The more private aspects of your life are safe, for the most part - what they're focused on is what they could sell to you. So - that involves most of your browsing history and potentially your emails, too. Windows Recall, however, could up the ante by giving MS access to those less-marketable aspects of who you are. That's the onus, here.

What's that?

A user-accessible long-term memory of sorts, used to help the user remember previous tasks or recall where certain elements are stored. It seems neat, until you realize this means Microsoft wants to record everything you do at your computer.

And Linux is better?

It doesn't overtly spy on you - at least, not if you stick to most trustworthy distributions, or OS installs. You're paying for an uptick in privacy with a loss in convenience, however. The more tech-savvy you are, the easier you'll get used to Linux. This isn't to say there aren't noob-friendly distros, there's actually several - but if something goes wonky, chances are you could find yourself stuck on your distro's Community forums, trying to divine what this rando means when he's asking you to list what the lspci command returns. Most enthusiasts in the sphere are nice, but several tend to forget that for a lot of end-users, there's no thrill in spending a few days hunting-and-pecking for a fix. Grandma won't grep shit, she just wants her Bluetooth manager to work!

What's grep?

It's Orc-speak for "find shit now." Jokes aside, it means Global Regular Expression Print. It's a command you can input in a Terminal while accessing a file, to have it search for what's inside. So if I open up a folder called "chocolate chip cookie recipe" in Linux and want to check how much flour I need while being too lazy to open the file on my own, I can just head to the terminal and type grep flour chocolatechipcookies.doc Grep tells the computer it'll need to look for something, flour is what it needs to look for in the file, and chocolatechipcookies.doc is what I'm pointing it to. I'm basically saying "Look in the chocolatechipcookies.doc file and find me all instances of the word flour being used."

If your head feels about to burst, I get it. It's a lot, and it's non-obvious - much like Windows' own Terminal or PowerShell languages.

Ah. So some Linux peeps think people are just going to troubleshoot everything themselves?

I know, right? It's almost as if some of these people forgot that for a lot of folks, a PC is just a convenient portal for emails, social networks and the occasional YouTube binge-watch.

So you don't believe we'll ever get the Year of the Linux Desktop?

Nope. Linux is too atomized, too fiddly, too focused on doing things honestly, as opposed to practically. Windows and MacOS aren't in any real danger of losing their market shares, even if the number of Linux users is slowly and steadily increasing. Unless Linux Mint or something close to it becomes so foulproof that your grandma can flat-out not know of the Terminal's existence without it impacting the computer's usage even in the advent of software failure, then we won't get a fully reliable third option.

I don't know what you're talking about, I've changed permissions on my Plex server and I passed my GPU through a VM for containerized Windows gaming on Linux; it's stupid as shi-

You're not the average use-case scenario, Steven. Sit back down. Raise your hand again once you're eighty-six and barely know how to access your NeuraMail or connect with the Galactic Sodality while your hypothetical grandchildren drone on about leaving the prison of the flesh for the purity of silicon wafers and you feel an encroaching sense of Sartrian Contingency rise up in the pit of your stomach upon realizing how incomprehensible this cold and barren new world is for you.

#IT Post #FAQ

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n41r · 7 months ago

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Otsu Post for my Oreca Battle Session from May 2024-

I made a blog entry for this month's session, because miracle occurs and so many things happened at once, it was one of the most insane session I've ever had since the last time I battled Red Dragon-

I did spent more credits than I usually do for funsies, but my god, what followed after-

((Also please do ignore the shitty doodle I used as this entry's thumbnail, I wanted it to look as shitpost-y as possible-))

For the past few months, I have been going into the arcade to play Oreca, with missions on hand Those missions are,

Get 4★ CuChulainn's item, "Holy Will"

Get 3★ Darkness Magica's item, "Raven Magic Stone"

Hang out at Chapter 6 for a chance to meet Pyramid Head

I don't have much expectation with my luck, so I usually give 3 chances to explore each chapters incase I didn't meet any of the monsters I was aiming for

And guess who I met on my first encounter of the day?

FRIGGIN CUCHULAINN- AND HE GAVE ME "HOLY WILL"-

AFTER SO MANY TRIES AND NOT BEING ABLE TO MEET HIM, HE SHOWS UP ON MY FIRST PLAY-

Finally having one mission crossed off, I thought maybe I could relax a bit, try my luck on the other mission, y'know?

And my second play started WAY TOO INTENSE for my poor mind-

DARKNESS MAGICA SHOWS UP-

AND WITHIN THE INCH OF HIS LIFE, BEELZEBUB CASTED "DEATH" AND EARNED US A VICTORY

AND MY WHITE WHALE, "RAVEN MAGIC STONE" AAAAAAAA---

AFTER TRYING SO MANY TIMES TO MEET HIM AND NIHIL, THEN FIGHTING HIM 2 TIMES AND GOT NO ITEM TWICE AS WELL- AEFKHKDFJHJGVDRTG--

At this point, I grew anxious- I contacted Enzina and talked to her to calm myself down, because this was a barrage of stimulation-

Then I told her, "Yeah, let's take things slow. I might try to get Kurt or Dran for now"

Guess what, tho?

PANDORA SAYS NO, WE GO TO THE GHOST SHIP-

We might have lost the battle, but guess who got commands up and joined the team with rare item???

DEMON KING AZUL JOINED, BRINGING "EVIL SHELL SAUSE"!!!

THE RARE ITEM THAT CAN CHANGE 4★ DANTE AND 4★ POWAN BGM INTO THE ACCOUSTIC VERSION IN BATTLE!!!

UPDATE (28th May 2024)

It have come to my attention that "Evil Shell Sause" is only able to change Azul's card illustration, so yea-

I was drunk on excitement and dehydration I think, lmao-

So yea, with all of this big encounters all happened one after another, I finally took a break because the excitement and rush actually makes my head hurts-

It doesn't help with the fact that Indonesia (and the rest of the SEA countries-) are getting hit by intense heatwave, and how crowded the arcade was that day-

And after the much needed rest, I went back to the arcade and finally took my own advice seriously, "Take things slow"-

And take things slow we did, since searching for Dran and Kurt was a simple task, and Dark Magica with CuChulainn only need to be combined with their item!

With 1 last play in mind, I try my luck once again on Chapter 6, with a team consisting of 2★ Dia, 4★ CuChulainn, and 4★ Culann Cuz y'know, I need to level up Dia too-

And... guess who greeted us, like RIGHT AWAY at the first enemy selection screen?

Yes, that's right, THE MONSTER, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND, THE RARE ENCOUNTER OF CHAPTER 6-

FUCKING PYRAMID HEAD--

THIS WAS MY FUCKING LAST PLAY, I WAS NOT EXPECTING BIG THINGS-

BUT PYRAMID HEAD???? THE ONE MONSTERS I WAS AIMING EVER SINCE I STARTED TO GO LEVELLING AT CHAPTER 6 SINCE FEBRUARY????

FUCK, IT'S FATE- /slapped

We might have lost and I didn't get his item drop, but hey, we got Pyramid Head at the end, so who is laughing now? /slapped

So yea, otsukare all around~!!!

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mercuryferns · 2 years ago

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🐞welcome to my personal swamp! 🐞

You can call me Mercury or Fern, I do not mind. Its not my real name anyway. I am a 19 year old South African artist drawing whatever I want.

Stuff:

I keep my gender private (ish) online. Its just for the sake of anonymity.

I started this account when I was relatively new to tumblr and I have a whole tagging system to organize my posts better! This is so my reblogs and my art and my dumb shitposting can be easily separated. See below

🐞 tagging system 🐞

Rb: reblogs

Fave: favorite posts (consists of art i love too)

Art by other people: specifically art reblogs

Tw: for anything potentially triggering

Mercuryferns requests: requests people have sent in and i have completed

Mercuryferns ocs: my characters!

Mercuryferns art: all my art

(*my characters also have their own individual tags which you can find. They all end in “from mercury”. For example, jack from mercury)

🐞 Boundaries 🐞

Do not repost my art without my consent and credit. This does not include reblogs and retweets those are awesome.

You may use my art in edits, as a profile picture, etc. But again, with my permission and credit, which I may not always grant.

Don’t even consider asking me to sell you my art as an NFT. Its a no. Always.

🐞 commission info + FAQ 🐞

Do you take commissions?

Occasionally. At the moment I only take commissions from people who can pay in ZAR or from those I’ve met in person due to complications regarding PayPal. But hopefully it’ll be fixed soon.

Do you take requests?

Yes. I don’t always do them though. If you send in a request theres like a 25 percent chance I’ll fulfill.

What software do you use?

Procreate with an iPad air 2 and no stylus or apple pen. I’ve been fingerpainting for so long its now actually hard to use a pen lmao. Also sometimes Xencelabs tablet with Macbook air and clip studio but said laptop is so old and broken.

Suffice it to say, I do not recommend using my software. I can’t afford the fancy stuff and I am too lazy either way.

What brushes do you use?

I make most of my brushes. Or at least personalize the default procreate ones. I’ve made a separate post about it.

Do you sell prints?

Working on it!

Can I use your art as an NFT-

No. Also I will block you.

#i thought about editing my intro but decided eh fuckit ill jsut redo #i speak #intro post

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fayrinferno · 10 days ago

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Sorry from me too, but since you framed it sort of as a refutal of what I wrote instead of simply presenting an alternative headcanon, I now have to defend my shitpost ramblings from seven years back.

>you wouldn't want to overlook centuries of relationship btwn japan and portugal

Since I wrote a whole thesis on foreign influences on Japan, yeah, that would be kind of embarrassing. But you may note I said "variation of João," not that they used the literal, established transcription of the name. Much like Eries can be seen as variation of Elise and Balgus as Vargas with a fantasy twist, changing a letter or two. Even then, I knew enough of Japanese and Portuguese to be aware that it's not pronounced with hard G (plus, the very first thing that I did was googling the kanas to see what comes up, so what you're explaining was revealed to me rather quickly). Still, transcription of foreign names can be pretty wild in Japanese, and may not always necessarily match the original pronunciation even roughly. So I was just trying to think of what existing names could have inspired it, since we do have existing names in the series and it sounded so randomly onomatopoeic, as you say. But besides the Fanels we have a handful of other canon Fanelian names (Balgus, Luva, Asona, Hurisen, even Naria and Eriya) and none of them seem simply onomatopoeic, you see that only with the beastfolk, in fact.

Anyway, the post is really old and it was not so serious in the first place but I don't think it was so unfounded and foolish of me to assume that the name could come from Portuguese. You know, the language the mangled version of which Van literally speaks in episode 1 and that was, on a related note, confirmed to have been used for some names and geographical terms in the TV version. We have another confirmation that Gaean language is similar to Latin-based languages (Spanish, French, Italian, Portuguese etc., which is likely also the explanation of why the characters from different countries understand each other; they possibly speak the dialects of the "same language"). And from the one sentence we have, in Fanelia at least, it resembles Portuguese the most. I'm not saying it 100% had to be the inspiration but it's not without a sense either.

>Bon

Maybe Jojo sfx also revealed to you that there is a similar kana difference between バ and ボ so if you used the very same argument against João, I'm not sure why it works here? From what info we have, bo was never on the table, they were deciding between ヴァ (like in Varie) and バ that we ended up with, then they were experimenting with the elongation, deciding between バァン and バーン. I think that already proves that they were not about the onomatopoeia but creating an original name, down to how it would be spelled.

So while I like the explanation you used and it works quite well for the movie (yes, movie Van is compared to an asura more than once), I can't say I'm convinced either. The pictures are great btw., thanks for sharing. But I don't think the movie can be taken as an argument for the series either. In the movie, the name of Van's father isn't even confirmed to be Goau, he appears only as the "Dragon King" in the credits and all official materials. And it doesn't make much sense to me that they would use "intended" things only for the retelling that they had no idea would ever happen at the time instead of the original thing that they were creating practically from scratch in the first place. Sure, they may have used some alternatives they were thinking of during the series production but never used, I think there was a mention of something like that if memory serves. In any case, playing with the names, coming up with their origins and alter-egos is a game I have enjoyed a lot for my writing, so I understand where you're coming from.

Okay, long time no Esca shitposting, right?

This time about the names of the characters. You know what name intrigued me the most? Goau. Because what kind of a name is that and why would you choose it? In Japanese it’s written just “Goou”. And after years it hit me a few days ago; it was probably meant to be a variation of

João.

Which is Portuguese mutation of John. You know, Gaean and Portuguese and all that? I’m gonna go with that. So yeah. King John.

More “shower thoughts” under the cut (I think we had a post about this already, but I cannot find it).

Keep reading

#escaflowne #reply #worldbuilding #sorry I don't actively seek discourse these days but I do check my notes

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liltaz-asatreat · 2 years ago

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Ask game! Ask game! Ask game!

"Fire" for the WIP asks please

You can find the ask game here! :D (Feel free to send a word in! I probably won't get to it until tomorrow though lol)

(And don't worry, Noodyl, I saw your other ask too, but I have multiple works with "fire" in it, so I'm gonna do both :D lol)

I don't remember if you've seen the few posts about this wip either, but this is from the new long term wip I'm writing called Double Troubles! If you haven't heard of it before, I can send you a link to where I talked about it more in depth :)

Anyway, here's the exert, and I'm adding a bit more than what I've been sharing with the other asks (like, a lot more, so much that it's the length of most of the Julia exerts I've posted lol) because I haven't shared a lot of this one, and I'm excited about this whole scene (it's gotta go under a readmore though):

(Also, credit to @institute-of-planar-shitposts for letting me use her taz OC, Sunshine, in my story [only in this bit she's only referenced as the half-elf bard Meadow saw in a tavern in the past] and the song Meadow sings is Could Have Been Me by The Struts [which I first learned of this song by watching Sunny's Sunshine tiktok using the song here] And you should totally check out the stuff Sunny's shared about her story she's writing about Sunshine!! I think she has it tagged as "Sunshine" on her blog and I have all the reblogs tagged "Sunshine tag! :D" on mine)

Meadow grabs Magnus' hand, and he helps him out of the well and onto solid ground. He looks around, still trembling, and...

It's just gone.

Everything is... it's just gone.

The only things left where Phandalin once stood are the charred remains of buildings standing at the very edge of a perfect circle of black glass and, in the epicenter of the circle, a burned out dwarven figure standing with his right arm raised in the air and on the end of it is the silvery gauntlet.

This has got to be enough evidence to know that he's cursed, right? Would this still have happened if he hadn't been anywhere near this?

“Meadow, I– I know, but I need help getting the others out,” Magnus says, disrupting his thoughts and delaying the inevitable doom spiral that he surely will go down later.

“Right. Yes, of course.” Meadow mumbles, and he grabs the part of the rope Magnus offers him before Magnus gets behind him with the end of it to act as an anchor.

Together they manage to help the other boys out of the well, and then all four of them work together to pull Killian out too. After they drag her a few feet away from it, they all stop and look at each other in silence.

“So what now?” Taako asks, and Meadow laughs a little hysterically.

“I have no fucking idea.”

“Well, we can't leave the gauntlet here,” Merle says as he looks over at it with his hands on his hips.

At this rate, Meadow's going to become a Pokémon master of super powerful, indestructible artifacts because he has a funny feeling that the gauntlet is going to be just as resistant to everything as the amulet is.

“Killian was looking for it and knew what it was, so she must have some sort of way to contain it,” Magnus says.

“I don't trust her to take it no matter if she has something to contain it or not,” Meadow says immediately.

The others look at him questioningly. “Why not?” Merle asks. “She definitely knows more about it than we do and wanted to avoid this happening.”

Fuck!

“Uh... Because I–” Meadow sighs. “I've seen something like this before.”

“Wait, you have?” Magnus asks incredulously.

“Well, why didn't you tell us what was going to happen then?!” Merle asks angrily.

“Yeah, any information could've helped, Dow!” Taako agrees, and Meadow winces.

“I– I didn't know this was going to happen!” he says defensively. “I didn't even know it was like the– the other artifact I saw once a few years ago until it was too late!”

Taako and Merle scoff, but Magnus' face relaxes slightly. “Do you know anything about it that could help us now?”

Meadow licks his lips nervously and nods slightly. “Yeah, uh... the other artifact like it... It takes over the will of whoever is using it like the gauntlet did with Gundren. And it's really powerful and really hard to beat the temptation to put it on and use it; I... I'm the only person I know of who's been able to handle something like that without using it.”

“Well that's convenient,” Taako says sarcastically.

“I mean, it's true!” Meadow says desperately. “I'll even say it under a Zone of Truth spell if I need to! Look–”

He takes a deep breath, his heart hammering wildly as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the amulet. It's a deep green emerald shaped into a teardrop with silver trim, and it's set on a thin golden chain. He holds it up by the chain to let the boys look at it, and it starts whispering again.

“What the hell?” Merle asks quietly. He reaches out to grab it, but Meadow yanks it away.

“No! You can see it with your eyes, but don't– don't touch it.” he says in a panic.

“What did that do that was just as bad as the gauntlet?” Magnus asks, tearing his eyes away from the necklace to look at him.

He fights the urge to look away from him, mostly because he needs to keep an eye on all of them to make sure they don't lunge for it. “I... I don't want to talk about it,” he says quietly. “Please just... just know that... it was bad, okay? I've been trying to find a way to destroy it for years now, and nothing's worked, so I have to keep it on me. And I guess– I guess also that gauntlet.”

Meadow stuffs the amulet back into his pocket, and Taako eyes him warily.

“Don't you have a spell that identifies what magic objects are?” he asks. “You were buzzing to cast it on the umbrella and the gauntlet before Gundren took it. Do you think you'd be able to figure out anything else about the glove?”

“I can give it the old college try,” Meadow says with relief. “To be honest, I don't know if I'll get any more useful information from it though if it's made by the same person who made the amulet because I tried casting it on that too, but all I got from it was a really intense headache.”

Taako frowns. “Weird. You sure you were casting it correctly?”

Meadow rolls his eyes. “Yes, Taako, I was casting it correctly. It's not like that was my first time casting the damn spell.”

“Well, while you go do that, we'll tie up Killian, so that when we wake her up, we can get more information from her about what she was doing here in the first place,” Magnus says.

“Yeah, good idea!” Merle says. “I can heal her after you do that.”

“Is it alright if I come with you to the gauntlet?” Taako asks, and Meadow's shoulders tense up again before he quickly adds, “I'll give you space, but I figure just because you were able to pick up the necklace without putting it on, that doesn't mean the glove wouldn't be different.”

Meadow relaxes again as much as they can in this situation and nods. “Yeah, if I start to put it on...” they swallow hard. ��If I start to put it on, don't hesitate to kill me, okay?”

“Are you sure?” Taako asks slowly, and they immediately nod.

“Positive. I'd rather die than be allowed to use that thing.” Even if it means they'd die in the Plane of Logic too. They still don't know how that works.

The two of them walk toward the gauntlet, and as they do, Meadow looks around the area more carefully. They were convinced while being awake in the other plane that Barry would be okay and able to talk to them after he died, but he's obviously not here anymore. They have no idea what they meant by that or what they should even be looking for, but if Barry was a ghost or something, he should still be here, right?

Taako peels off to the side as Meadow gets within five feet of the glove. They stop walking and look around the empty field of glass one last time.

Just more proof that they don't know what their talking about up in that other plane.

Meadow sighs and focuses back on the gauntlet. They take a few tentative steps forward when it starts speaking in their mind.

“Heeeyyy, buddy! Hey, buddy, put me on! Haven't you ever wanted to control fire? To know how it feels to hold that kind of power? I can help you defeat your enemies and protect the people you love!”

Meadow snorts with scorn. “I don't have anyone left on this plane that I love, not anymore, and I don't have any enemies either,” they say quietly, so that Taako doesn't hear. “You can fuck right off.”

They feel a wave of desire and enchantment magic wash over them, but they resist it with relative ease. After the wave passes, the gauntlet becomes quieter, and they feel more confident walking up and grabbing it.

They look over at Taako who looks tense with his wand out, and they give him a thumbs up. “It's all good!” they call out. “I'm gonna cast the spell now, but it's gonna be about ten minutes.”

Taako looks both a little relieved and a little annoyed. “You're casting it as a ritual? Just use a spell slot on it, we don't have all night!”

“I don't have any spell slots left,” Meadow says helplessly. “I only get mine back after sleeping and resting for about eight hours.”

Taako shakes his head and sits down on the ground. “Well, I can't leave you here by yourself, so start casting I guess.”

Meadow sits down too and holds the gauntlet in one hand as they go for their bag before they stop themself and put their other hand back down on their knee.

They can't play their clarinet one handed, so it looks like they're going to have to sing.

They mentally shuffle the songs that they know that are somewhere close to the forefront of their mind, and they settle on a song they first heard a half-elf bard sing in a tavern close to the Fountain Pens and Silver Ink guild hall. Makes sense that would be the one to come up considering the situation, and gods do they need the pick me up.

“I don't wanna live as an untold story,” they begin singing quietly. “Rather go out in a blaze of glory. I can't hear you, I don't fear you–”

“Are you going to start casting yet?” Taako calls out to them, and they stop singing and sigh in frustration.

“I mean, I already was until you interrupted me!” Meadow calls back, and as they do, the faint glow of golden light that was starting to surround the glove fades away again.

“I thought you cast spells with your clarinet or whatever,” Taako says.

“Yeah, usually! But I can't exactly play it one handed, so I'm singing!”

Taako frowns. “You are? You're not that far away, and I couldn't hear you.”

“I don't like singing in front of people; I told you that already. And I don't need to sing loud for it to work.” Meadow says irritatedly.

“You were singing Bohemian Rhapsody just fine with us in the cave!”

“Because everyone who knows that song sings it at the top of their lungs whether they sound good or not. It's literally impossible to not sing that one quietly!” they say as they roll their eyes.

“You didn't even know everyone knew it until Magnus told you that and Killian recognized it!” Taako says exasperatedly.

Meadow's face heats up in anger and embarrassment. “Do you want me to fucking cast this spell or not?”

“Yeah, fine, do your thing.” Taako waves them off, and they roll their eyes again.

“I don't wanna live as an untold story. Rather go out in a blaze of glory. I can't hear you, I don't fear you! I'll live now 'cause the bad die last. Dodging bullets with your broken past. I can't hear you, I don't fear you now!”

Meadow continues singing as the gauntlet begins to glow gold again, and as they sing, the light gets brighter and brighter until it steadies out at about the brightness of a halogen light bulb. They loop the song a couple of times until the spell is complete, trying to take to heart the fact that they can't hear the gauntlet nor fear it and ignore the fact that they are very much wrapped up in regret, and all at once, they're bombarded with what could only be described as static.

Their vision goes gray, and not in the way where everything turns gray-scale. Literally all they see is the color gray with different shades of it moving around like the static on a TV when they switch to the wrong channel. They can also hear that TV static noise loud in their ears, and they yelp in panic as they drop the glove and cover their ears instinctively. Their brain feels like fuzz, and they get slammed with a massive headache.

They squeeze their eyes shut tight and rock back and forth, still covering their ears and trying not to cry at how overwhelmingly loud, overstimulating, and painful it all is.

After about a minute, everything slowly starts to fade again, and it leaves their ears ringing more than usual and their heart still thumping wildly with anxiety.

“Meadow? Can you hear me?”

They feel someone put a gentle hand on their arm, and they jump in the air so bad as they recoil that they tip over and fall on their side.

Their eyes snap open as they see Taako standing over them looking worried.

“Sorry, it's just, you screamed a little and started... doing that–” He gestures at them helplessly. “–and then you didn't respond.”

“Oh, yeah, um... sorry about that,” they mumble, face heating up a lot as they push themself back up into a sitting position.

“Are– are you okay?” Taako asks. “Did the gauntlet do something to you?”

Meadow shakes their head. “No– I mean, yes, I'm okay, but no, the gauntlet didn't do anything to me exactly. I just... I didn't get anything from the spell except static. A lot of it. And it was painful.”

Taako frowns. “Like how we can't hear Killian static?”

Meadow thinks about that for a second. “Actually, yes. A lot like that.”

#thank you for sending this in; Noodyl!! :D #Gab gabs #ask game #written works of Gab #Double Troubles

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mittensmorgul · 4 years ago

Text

For anyone interested in long-term residence in the supernatural fandom, please have some observations I’ve made over the decade I’ve been here. Take it or leave it as you will, but I’ve found all of this info useful over the years I’ve been here.

I wrote this yesterday, and it achieved its mission of identifying the sort of folks who would react negatively to it (i.e. a lot of block lists have been updated), so now that it’s been edited for content, it’s going under a cut (because that is how we do things on tumblr in general, unless we have a deliberate purpose for annoying readers with excessively long text posts) for the sake of people who actually do care about the fandom and its history. If that’s not you or your reason for being here, then keep on keeping on with your own thing, I guess. For those who are interested, there’s a lot of fandom resources some of us have been building for years that you might enjoy knowing about.

First off, I’ve been informed by a few friends who’ve read through this for coherency’s sake that it sort of reads like a *shakes cane from porch* fandom grandma complaint, but honestly... I earned this rocking chair and goshdangit imma rock now. So apologies for any “back in my day” vibes or faint aroma of tiger balm this post might give off. Then again, it’s loosely based on a similar post from 2012 so like... time is a flat circle anyway I guess.

1. There is no such thing as “tumblr famous,” unless you’re referring to the hilarious and delightful fic of the same name (please go read it, you will cackle). Posting Hot Takes for imaginary Clout™ on this site is kind of pointless in the long run. Sure you can post solely for the sake of stirring shit and getting notes, but the majority of the folks who do aren’t long term residents of the fandom. They’re just tourists moving through our little beach town for spring break. If you’re actually intent on moving to this corner of the fandom for an extended stay, please bother to really feel out the permanent residents and understand the culture and general mood of the neighborhood. It bears no resemblance to whatever’s going on across town where all the bars and beach parities are happening, and those loud, drunken revelers are, again, gonna disappear back to their regular lives or on to the next party eventually. That doesn’t mean the fandom is dying, it’s just evolving.

(funny how I had several comments implying that I’m just trying to keep the fandom from evolving with this post, because I sincerely do want the fandom to continue on for years to come, and that is impossible without evolution. We can evolve without self-immolating, though. mostly i included point 1 for an excuse to push ancient but hilarious fanfic on you.)

2. Once you post something here, it’s been unleashed to the fandom winds. You never know where it will end up, or who will comment on it or add to it. Remember that time Misha tweeted the link to the Epic Cockles Love Story post? No? It was wild. That was 2012. They all know we’re here, and how to find us if they want to. Please don’t take it to their doorsteps.

Obviously if someone is being a dick on your posts, please feel free to block them, but the whole entire point of this site is to engage people with your posts. Being big mad that someone reblogged your post with comments or supporting evidence, or happy headcanons or “HECK THIS IS GREAT BECAUSE (insert personal story about their experience or whatever else made them Feel Things about your post)” is frankly ridiculous. If your goal is to avoid any sort of engagement with your posts, then maybe try instagram instead. From what I understand, there is a SPN fandom presence there, and nobody can tarnish your original posts with unwanted commentary. But the ability to reblog with additional commentary is a FEATURE of tumblr that builds community through conversation. Otherwise we’re all just talking to ourselves in a vacuum, and that’s what actually kills fandoms.

(and for the folks who just want to blog how they want to blog and don’t want people to engage on their posts at all, please feel free to block anyone you want, as well... nobody wants to step on your toes, but most of us also don’t want to walk on eggshells wondering if this post is one of the “do not add comments for any reason” sorts of posts, either. This is a huge fandom and most people can’t even begin to keep track of every creator and their url du jour, and what their personal rules might be regarding interaction with their content. Including a “please don’t add comments” note at the bottom of your posts-- and not in your tags that won’t even show up on reblogs, but in the actual body of the post-- would sincerely help avoid any awkward or unwanted interactions, too. At the end of the day, you are in control of your own fandom experience and the block button exists.

For the record, I block zero fandom blogs (which is why I posted this, I wanted it to reach a wide scope... refer to the opening paragraphs as to why).

3. Since this post was partly inspired by a tag I left on that post going around about how “previous tags” mean fuckall on this site (which you can read here), just a reminder that if you like someone’s tags or feel they add value to the post, part of the Peer Review structure of tumblr encourages you to PASTE THEM INTO A REBLOG. If you do this, then at least credit the person who actually wrote the tags! Don’t just copy someone else’s tags into your tags on your reblog of the post without credit either. They were not YOUR tags. (I have had this happen to tag rambles I wrote and someone else got credited with them on a subsequent reblog and it is FRUSTRATING). Just... don’t even bother to write “previous tags” because WHAT PREVIOUS TAGS?! Nobody is gonna bother to chase back the chain of reblogs trying to find where the mystery tags came from, friendos. That way lies madness.

(for the record, since some folks seemed to focus on this point solely, writing “previous tags” on a post isn’t inherently a BAD thing, but for anyone who actually is here for more than one-off shitposting, then it’s sort of a pointless thing in the long run. This wasn’t intended to suggest people who ARE here for one-off shitposting are bad or “doing it wrong,” but for people who might actually want to preserve that hilarious joke or insightful comment. People delete posts and entire blogs all the time around here. Links break. I get that the upcoming generation just shrugs at that and moves on with their lives, but heck... you don’t have to accept that all entertainment is disposable if you don’t want to. There’s a bizarre sort of nihilism plaguing us all about the impermanence of pretty much everything that feels like something we should be fighting against rather than buying into wholesale, even in our escapist entertainment. I’m just exhausted by the complete loss of joy in community.

*shouts from the peanut gallery* IT AIN’T THAT DEEP, JUST GET SOME FRESH AIR AND LOOK AT A PUPPY OR SOMETHING

Yes... yes it isn’t really that deep, but bigger picture in the state of reality we’re all entirely disillusioned with, are we supposed to just give up on everything, including the things we cling to because they bring us a tiny spark of hope that we’re not all just trapped in this dystopian nightmare and things might actually be worth living for?

*peanut gallery clinging to burnt husks of peanuts in a barren peanut field* but this is how we have chosen to cope

Okay... you do you... I feel bad for you but if that’s the case then this post is NOT FOR YOU. AND THAT’S FINE. I honestly do not care if you don’t care! I mean, I’m sorry anyone has to live in a world that drives them to that mindset, but I understand. This post is for anyone who might look at their lives and their choices and think “no wait, I unironically enjoy this and want more from the experience of that enjoyment than I’m currently feeling.” Everyone else can continue with their lives as usual.)

4. CONTENT THEFT IS NEVER OKAY. PERIOD. Things like “credit to the artist” or tagging gifs or images you found on pinterest as “not mine” isn’t actually credit. If you can’t source an image or gif set, DO NOT POST IT! We don’t REPOST (i.e. save an image and then create a new post with it as if it was our own creation). We REBLOG (click the little square arrows and reblog from the actual creator). That goes for gif sets, fanvids, screencaps, meta, fic... everything.

(hopefully everyone here already understands this one, but I felt compelled to include some “these are stupidly obvious” reminders anyway, since this is ostensibly some sort of advice column. This is the equivalent of the warning label on your toaster reminding you not to use it in the bath. Like... duh...)

5. Close kin of item 4 is SOURCE YOUR SHIT.

(for 100% disclosure purposes, I specifically discussed this one in this specific way because of an influx of anon ask messages I received in the wake of the finale. Literally the inciting incident for creating this entire post was what I can only assume was a joking ask about a comment Misha made at a con years ago. Someone actually bothered to take the time to type out those sentences to me. I have no idea what they were expecting in reply, or what could possibly motivate them to send this comment about something so entirely random from, again, several years ago. Just a joke? No idea, but whatever... it got me thinking that there might actually be people who are new to the fandom who MIGHT actually care about the fandom history, and maybe they just don’t know where to go for that info, or how to even begin searching through 16 years of history for things they might actually find enjoyment in, rather than just hauling random out of context garbage out on main and pointing and laughing about it now. People are actually allowed to care about things. It’s not cringeworthy to actually care about things, and you are not alone in actually caring, and there’s this whole big room over here full of people who are thrilled to share in that with you. This post is intended FOR THOSE PEOPLE SPECIFICALLY, so if that is not you, please just continue walking by.)

Yes, I know lots of y’all are new around here right now, but dredging up stuff from years ago that fandom has completely debunked and presenting it as TRU FAX again is just exhausting. We’re not trying to be party poopers, but seriously, we have seen it all and are mostly done with extinguishing bags of flaming dog poop on our front porches for the umpteenth year in a row. I’ve seen a lot of posts that have the same tone as “I saw Goody Proctor dancing with the devil” or “I heard kylo ren has an eight pack” and just... the information is there for anyone who cares enough to find it.

This goes double for “why is nobody talking about this thing I just discovered while watching the show for the first time?!” And, oh hon, we have talked it all into the ground over the last fifteen years. We’re happy you’re discovering it again, but I promise we talked about it plenty when the episodes originally aired. We have such a rich meta history that lots of us have worked really hard to preserve. I encourage you to seek it out, if nothing else than as historical artifacts. The way we have discussed the show has been a 16-year evolution. People have written literal doctoral dissertations on this show. Your shitposts are fun! We love reliving our own experience through fresh eyes, and seeing your wonder at experiencing it all again for the first time! But y’all didn’t invent this fandom in the last six months, either.

Meta Sources and Minerals provided by our friendly neighborhood fandom archivist, @lets-steal-an-archive

Academic books and articles about SPN

A collection of Meta Essays going back to s1 and organized by topic (all of this has happened before, all of it will happen again)

SPN Heavy Meta Archive (s1-3)

Mel’s Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-12)

Oranges8hands Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-15, with many similar entries to Mel’s... though ymmv on viewpoint in a lot of these too)

Anyone remember Fandom Wank? Not the concept but the actual LJ... No? Okay have a link to SPN topics that ended up there. Through 2013. We have seen so much... including several fandom containment breaches.

for all your art sourcing needs, please see @theroadsofararchive, the repository for so much fandom art.

need to find a gif of something? canonspngifs is a vast repository of gifsets of the entire series. If the gif you want to use in your post happens to be the first gif in the gifset, in the tumblr gif finder thingy just paste the permalink to that post from canonspngifs (which is easily searchable by episode, character, location, situation, quotes, and sometimes even color and clothing items the actors are wearing... it’s really well organized, especially for tumblr >.>) and the first gif will be automatically linked with credit to the gif creator attached. It makes life easy that way. It’s also convenient when trying to remember something specific but can’t remember what episode it’s from. I’ve used the site to jog my memory before going to the superwiki armed with more specific search results to find episode quotes and references. Or sometimes I just scroll through all the nice gifs for fun, too.

Need a screencap of something and know exactly which episode it’s from? Try Home of the Nutty. You might not find the exact screencap you’re looking for, but they have a complete set of caps of every episode, and it’s an incredibly useful resource for quick reference checks and the like. Just give pages a chance to fully load before clicking on the next one. The site is easily overloaded, but it’s still free to use (and again, with credit... Pretty much every screencap on my entire blog is from HotN unless otherwise credited).

As you can see, this is a fandom built on preserving our history. You absolutely are not required to engage with any of this if that’s not of interest to you, but I can only assume that there are people who would be interested in it if only they knew it existed and how to find it. Well, now they do.

6. A few more notes on tags, and how they work on tumblr. The first 20 tags on your ORIGINAL posts are searchable sitewide, so if you want to be able to find something again, tag that thing first before going on general tag rambles. The only place tags on reblogs are searchable is on your own blog. So you don’t have to put 50 tags trying to get a post seen if it’s a reblog. You’re just spitting into the wind at that point. If you have a filing system for finding things again, then by all means add those tags (again, in the first 20, so they’re searchable), but you don’t need to tag a reblog “destiel” and “deancas” and “dean” and “cas” and “dean x cas” or whatever. Pick one for your personal blog’s filing system, that’s all you need.

(this was only added because tagging and searching on this site is so very broken... I get that a lot of folks don’t care about ever searching their own blogs again for anything, so this one only really applies if you do often find yourself trying to find old posts. If not, then it’s not really relevant. It took me years to work out a decent tagging system, and at the beginning of my time here I never thought I’d end up camping out here for a decade and falling this deep into the fandom, and I regretted my lack of consistent tags only years later when I realized I actually wanted to be able to go back and find specific old posts again. So... for anyone who wants to err on the side of caution, working out a sensible tagging system really helps if you’re here for the long term. I personally tag content by episode, because some of my other general tags are so large as to be practically useless as a search term. But whatever system you choose to file stuff on your own blog, it really only has to make sense to you. And again, if this is pointless advice for someone who has no intention of settling here for the long term. Please feel free to ignore it. I just wish someone had explained it this way to me ten years ago and saved me the hassle of retroactively tagging something like 30k posts... especially now that using the mass tag replacer is the fastest way to get your entire blog deleted... oops? so yeah, don’t use the mass tag replacer either >.>)

7. Tags on Tumblr DO NOT WORK LIKE TAGS ON TWITTER. If you @ someone in the body of the post, it will show up in their notifications (if they’re the sort of person who even checks their notifications... not all of us do. For the record, I generally don’t...), but putting actor or ship names in the tags on a tumblr post does absolutely nothing. It’s not the same as tagging the actor’s twitter account in a tweet. Nobody’s getting notifications about you tagging a post about Jensen here as “Jensen Ackles.” There is a difference. Please learn it. (and don’t take headcanons and ESPECIALLY RPF or otherwise explicit art or fic from tumblr to twitter and tag the actors in it. That’s just... not okay.)

(I have seen the pearl clutchers getting all in a huff about the mere existence of RPF or even explicit content of fictional characters if it doesn’t meet their purity standards, but tagging those things allows people who don’t want to see it to actively avoid that content here. Nobody has a right to tell people their fictional content shouldn’t exist at all, or that creators of that fictional content somehow deserve harassment or threats for having dared to create such “immoral” content, won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children... and no... you do not do that here. Don’t be the problematic behavior you wish to ban from the world. Learn to use tags to protect yourself from, as i have attempted to emphasize here, fictional content you are personally upset by. That’s a you problem, not a problem for the creators of potentially upsetting content that they tag appropriately for.)

8. General formatting stuff: If you’re writing long text posts, visually break them up so people aren’t faced with one long wall of text. The enter key is your friend. Also, if you put long text posts under a Read More break and send people to your blog to finish reading, please ensure that your blog is actually visually accessible (tiny text, or light grey text on a dark grey background, or a visually busy background might be aesthetically pleasing to you but nobody can actually read it. Loads of folks won’t even try. Which is great if you don’t actually care whether people are able to appreciate your content or not, but something to at least consider if you *do* actively want to encourage engagement with your work. Confirm how your blog looks on both mobile and desktop and make sure it’s actually functional in both, too).

And since I mentioned that most of my experience on fandom tumblr has been in the SPN fandom, here’s a bit of a reminder for folks who are new around here. With the reminder that I have been here more than a decade and still feel like a newbie myself sometimes...

This is an OLD FANDOM. There are many, many people who have been at this longer than some of you have been alive. The average age for creators in this fandom is older than you think (I think of my friends in their 30′s as young’ins okay? okay). With that understood, you are responsible for the content you consume and are exposed to. Curate your experience. Ship and let ship. YKINMKATOK. Don’t deliberately expose yourself to content you find upsetting for whatever reason. Tags and warnings are your friends, not targets for you to attack in some sort of purity war. People will ship things you do not like (or in specific ways you do not like), will say things you do not agree with, and will find their happiness in things you abhor. That is not your concern. Find what you do like, and support and engage with it, and ignore (or block, or unfollow) the rest. Tumblr has a feature that lets you blacklist tags so the content you’re trying to avoid won’t appear on your dash.

Remember the paradox of tolerance.

It is not your job in fandom to police how other people enjoy the fandom. It’s not *my* job to police how *you* enjoy the fandom, UNLESS your enjoyment is in actively harming other real human beings in the fandom. If you don’t like their take on the character or the show or the plotlines or their ships or anything else, you don’t need to engage with their posts at all! The necessary corollary to this is that clarifying misunderstandings or correcting factual misinformation is not “policing.”

(this is where the peanut gallery reminds me it ain’t that deep, and I plead with them to put down the social media and find just one (1) thing to actually believe in in this godforsaken life, find something other than disdain and cynicism and spite to live for. If those things motivate you to find a larger cause for yourself, then great, use them to your advantage, but use them to find something that makes you a better person or brings you a modicum of joy and connection to your fellow human beings despite living in a dystopian hellscape of a world)

I have seen a lot of posts lately that are founded on the sort of authority that comes with “I watched through tumblr for a few months and then watched the last three episodes of the series” and as such are just... missing the larger context of the entire show, and are unfounded entirely in canon. I 100% appreciate the new enthusiasm for the fandom that we’ve been living in here for years, and it’s wonderful to see new people enjoying the thing we love. Your headcanons are valid, you are valid, but recognize that your headcanons aren’t canon. All of us finale denialists have accepted this in some measure, so we feel you. We truly, truly feel you. But regarding actual canon, we have a resource for that: the Superwiki. Learn it, live it, love it, as Metatron would say.

(which you could discover he said in 10.17 Inside Man, thanks to the superwiki! accept no substitutes!)

(and again, there have been people who have been involved in fandom for years who haven’t engaged with canon in years, either! You can play in this universe however you choose, BUT FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT CANON AT ALL, WHICH I AM AGAIN POINTEDLY SAYING MIGHT NOT BE YOU, READER, AND I’M NOT SUGGESTING YOU ARE WRONG FOR NOT WANTING TO ACTUALLY ENGAGE WITH CANON, but if you DO want to engage with canon, please have some useful resources. Why do people feel personally attacked by being presented a list of helpful resources? Absolutely baffling.)

(also: words have definitions. “Canon” is a specific thing, meaning in this case “the finished media product that aired on television.” Anything beyond those limits is secondary canon (think: john’s journal, which is not canon but canon adjacent at best...), word of god (i.e stuff said by the writers and showrunners), or headcanon (which includes actor commentary-- they may have helped create the show with their acting choices and whatever, but they are not in control of the story overall). If there’s something you dislike about actual canon, you can reject it and supplement it with your own theories or preferred outcomes-- that’s basically what fanfic is-- but that doesn’t make your theories canon (much to all our dismay, that’s just not how any of this works. This is not to invalidate how anyone engages with the show or the fandom, just trying to clarify what seems to have been a source of unintentional misunderstandings. Your theories do not have to be “canon” to be legitimate interpretations.)

***I am setting this section apart, and did make a separate post of just this following information, because this is where we go from being relatively chill about different parts of fandom choosing to interact in different ways and you do you and blog however you want, to “hey can everybody please understand that the way you are interacting with this specific material might be harmful for specific legal reasons, and stating that you do not care about the consequences of your actions does actively make you the asshole here...” Okay, now that we have that understood:

The spnscripthunt collective has been steadily acquiring new scripts (which are posted in full on the superwiki for everyone to enjoy, for free). The language around how some folks are talking about these scripts is... concerning. For very real legal reasons, actually, and not because we’re feeling precious about the collection and don’t wike it when meanies use them in shitposts.

-First off, these scripts are not “leaks.” They are all verified and legally purchased (or gifted, in some cases, but still acquired entirely above board. we didn’t whack anyone over the head in a back alley for these scripts, or swipe them out of someone’s trailer on set).

(in case anyone was unaware, these scripts are the copywritten protected property of Warner Brothers. So yes, how we use them and share them with the fandom could have legal repercussions. We present them as a collected resource of fandom history which SHOULD fall under Fair Use doctrine, but this is untested legal water. Insinuating that the scripts are somehow not entirely legally obtained, or that posting them for public access involved less than 100% transparent and entirely legal transactions is incredibly concerning.

Once again for the peanut gallery, if you don’t care about any of that and are just having a good time with it, at least be mindful of the work and expense a large group of people have gone through to acquire and present the content you’re all too eager to exploit for cheap thrills. Some of us do actually care and are not exactly comfortable with the fact that others don’t seem to care about burning it all to the ground. We can’t force you to listen or behave as we’d hope you might, but at least be aware of the potential consequences of your actions. All we’re asking is for you to not be the douchebag who sets the whole neighborhood on fire with your illegal fireworks display. Is that too much to ask for? more on that in a second, first... a psa)

-If you see a script for sale and are unsure if it’s legit (or believe it might already be freely available in our collection), please feel free to ask us for advice. Our goal is to make as much of our fandom history available to the entire fandom, and we absolutely do not want anyone shelling out money for stuff you can already find for free.

(seriously, we’ve seen a bunch of resellers cropping up selling printed versions of the scripts we bought and uploaded for everyone to enjoy free of charge, or scripts that are otherwise of dubious origin. We’ve been at this for years now and know what’s actually out there. We don’t want anyone to fall for a scam if we can help it)

-Also, the usual reminder that the scripts we acquire ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE FINAL SHOOTING DRAFTS. In fact, the majority of scripts in our collection are NOT. Changes are made daily to scripts, even during filming. Comparing a Production Draft (white pages, effectively the first “final draft” of what usually becomes a series of drafts before filming wraps) to a much later revision (say... green or goldenrod revisions, several of which we DO have in our collection for comparison) and how those earlier drafts often differ wildly from the aired version versus how similar a much later green draft is to the aired version, for example, can teach you a lot about the television writing process. The link above to the superwiki scripts page has a nice little explainer about how this process works.

Differences between our posted scripts (many of which are white drafts, aka FIRST complete drafts, which will likely go through multiple rounds of revisions before filming even begins) and the aired version of the show are not all “acting choices” or a director or editor just cutting whole scenes on a whim. It’s insulting to everyone involved in production to suggest that’s the case.

(and yeah, fine... whatever, make any sort of posts you like regarding how those changes came about, but at the very least understand that it’s not actually the truth about how any of this works. Don’t care that that’s not the truth and want to make the posts anyway because shitposting is fun and that’s the extent of your sense of humor? FINE! You’re entitled to do that! But at least you DO know the truth now, and hopefully so do the people who engage with your posts. Deliberate ignorance isn’t cute, smooth lions notwithstanding)

There’s probably a whole other post to be made on fandom tagging etiquette, but again I don’t really use the tags enough to know what’s going on with that whole situation. I’ve also probably left a lot of stuff out, so please feel free to add things I’ve overlooked.

Thanks also to @trisscar368 and @thayerkerbasy for help compiling this, too. They were kind enough to escort me through the park to feed these pigeons. Now I need to take them out for ice cream. :’D

So I guess welcome to the neighborhood. Make yourself at home, but like... try not to trash the place while you’re here. Some of us live here by choice, lol.

#this blue hellsite (affectionate)#fandom problems #kinda wish i'd made this post six months ago but here we are i guess lol #long post #now edited for the people who are actually personally invested in the fandom #thanks for participating in this little experiment and I hope this version is actually informative to those who are interested #meaning there's a lot more links to stuff and explainers and whatnot...#and one last reminder that for folks just swinging through for laughs absolutely none of this applies to you #if you are legit interested in fandom history and preservation as we move to the post-canon world then hopefully this is useful to you

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1ddotdhq · 4 years ago

Text

❄️Tues 27 Oct ‘20🐖

Ho ho ho! Liam is (alongside all of his spooky content) also giving us Christmas realness and releasing a Christmas song called Naughty List on Friday. There’s clearly a woman’s voice on the song, but he hasn’t credited his mystery collab. There is some speculation that it’s Dixie D’Amelio, but I guess we’ll have to wait for Friday to find out. Liam’s current constant companion Conor has been making back to back appearances in his Tik Toks, lending credibility to my theory that they are roomies right now. Or maybe they just can’t get enough of each other! Harry has stepped up on twitter to retweet one of Joe Biden’s ads and say, “If I could vote in America, I’d vote with kindness”. HSHQ has released Golden merch, including a cute Italian themed hoodie - proving that they CAN make good merch when they WANT TO, but they they don’t want to very often, as they also came out with a T-Shirt that could have been completely ripped off of a tumblr shitpost that made fun of their terrible T-Shirts. They also tweeted a mock-up picture of the new Co-Op live stadium, which looks cool, but shows no signs of being pandemic friendly.

Louis liked a tweet about his promo, which is one of the rare times he’s chimed in on the discourse. 1075 The River (a radio sation) tweeted, “ugh @/Louis_Tomlinson has my heart”, and @/LTxPromo said, “does your station have @/Louis_Tomlinson music to spin as well?”. Ever the sassmaster, Louis liked the second tweet! Louis made headlines for his support of with Marcus Rashford, and iHeartRadio posted his (warning?) selfie, captioning it, “We get so lost in @/Louis_Tomlinson’s eyes”. Hey what a coincidence - I know someone you can talk to about that! And, speaking of radio promo, Niall (who spent all of yesterday in a studio, making MORE MUSIC we won’t get to hear for a while) went around doing more radio interviews to promote his upcoming concert, even saying about One Direction, “we were just kids when we started, and now there’s kids...kids everywhere!” He didn’t mention any names, but went on to reassure the interviewer (Lorraine) that HE would not be adding to the brood of children any time soon: “I’m comfortable with where I’m at, at the moment”.

Before we get into the next bit, can we just spend one more gleeful second with the Italian sun shining on our faces and the scent of Christmas pudding? Okay, well. On we go with the “never ending cycle of media speculation”, and our favorite pub dwelling pigs.

Celebtm published part two of their article on Briana and Micheal Straus and it is...a mess. As are, by the way, the instagram comments under that post, but we’ll get there. The article itself is riddled with contradictions: is Louis an involved father who loves his son or is Briana a single mother who is struggling to provide for him? After making a few claims about how involved Louis was with Freddie, Straus went on to say that he himself “wanted to step up and be the man in Freddie’s life” and that “whether or not [Louis is] an absentee father isn’t for me to say”. That is to say, it’s all bullshit. Including, by the way, the initial claim that he was scammed out of his money, as he goes on to say that he told Briana not to worry about paying him back! We often make jokes about these people, but let's be frank: Michael Straus is vile, and the reason that he is suing Briana is because he’s upset he never got to look at her new breasts. That - however ridiculous - is the premise of the case. And if that wasn't messy enough, guess who works for celebtm and is getting in on the action: BOOPSY! Yes, our old pal Boopsy-the-celeb-stalker is also in that mess of a comments section in her official work capacity, letting it be known that she's looking for inside dirt on Briana.

But now let’s dive into what Celebtm had to say about the whole thing, because they have taken a sharp U-turn since part 1 of this article. Hmmm...wonder why? The site remained confused on what their position on Freddie’s parentage was: they leaned heavily on Michael’s quote that said, “he is 100% Louis and Briana’s son”, but also they quoted fans who said that he wasn’t, and then!! They claimed (in the comments section of the instagram post) to have offered to pay for a paternity test for Louis. Well, hey I know a ton of people that would start a gofundme and pay for it themselves (not that we’d need to, uh, I think Louis’ got it covered)! They then claim that LTHQ declined their offer because, “the deal he made with Briana saves him millions. We know she only receives less than 60k a year and the money meant for Freddie goes to … self upkeep for Briana”. This is even funnier today, when Louis’ net worth was calculated at 47 million pounds.

So here’s where the research gets verbose, but I’m going to attempt to present it as simply and concisely as I can. As far as I can tell, there are two ways for an unmarried man to claim paternity in California: the first is to sign a Voluntary Declaration of Paternity upon the child’s birth, at which point your name goes on the birth certificate (this fits with the birth certificate we’ve seen), and you have full parental rights and obligations (custody and child support included) without a necessary DNA test. The second way is to arrange a court hearing and establish paternity through the courts, which does require a DNA test. If you have signed a VDP and then wish to change your mind, you can either fill out a rescission form (which must be done within 60 days of signing the original VDP but only needs one party’s signature) or you can go to court. Celebtm is claiming that Louis has no rights, and is voluntarily paying 60k a year in order to MAINTAIN this Schroedenger’s Baby situation rather than take a test and end the speculation. Even odder, this claim makes it seem like even LOUIS doesn’t know if Freddie is his or not, and he’s just. Paying this random family for a child that might or might not be his, but he’s not involved. But all of this makes perfect sense if he DID sign a VDP, then immediately rescinded it, and is now paying for something other than child support.

TLDR: this all looks like a mess that doesn't add up but it all makes sense if he did sign this one document, took it back, and is now paying for something other than child support - let’s call it secrecy rather than silence, because if there’s one thing we know about this family, it’s that they can’t shut up.

#liam #harry #louis #niall #and #the clown car #my source for the legal stuff: https://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-parentage.htm?rdeLocaleAttr=en #i gotta im disappointed with the timing of the celebtm drop yesterday #discourse and i made two beautiful posts and then all the wind got taken out of our sails #sighhhhh #yeah thats me for today come ask about any questions or just to chat!#anyways!#song of the day!#redwood tree by cam #honestly i could not be more excited for changes #if i tried

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river-bottom-nightmare · 4 years ago

Text

“You need a new superhero name.”

Damian brought it up unexpectedly, eyes still trained on the security camera he was dismantling.

“What?” Jon was sifting through the footage, using superspeed to catch every little detail of last night, but at Damian’s voice, he paused the recording and looked up.

Damian was still digging inside the camera, having removed the back panel and a good chunk of wires, and was now sifting through the piece of tech with a pair of tweezers. Nonetheless, he continued the conversation. “A name. You’re not going to be Superboy forever, are you?”

“Um,” Jon could honestly say he’d never thought about it. He’d always been Superboy, ever since he could remember. He wasn’t one to place much thought into birthrights or heritage, not like Damian, but he also wasn’t overlooking the fact that his father was Superman. What exactly did that make him? Superboy was the obvious answer. “I don’t think I can be anything else, Damian.”

“You have an older brother who also goes by Superboy.”

Jon shrugged. “We share.”

“Still. You’re graduating high school in just a few months, Jon. Though it’s surprising to say, you’ve outgrown the title.”

Jon’s lips instantly turned upward in a smirk. “I’ve outgrown the title, huh?”

At that, Damian turned to glare at him. Pointing a finger, he said, “I will taze you. Shut up.”

“Whatever you say, short stack.” Jon chuckled at Damian’s little growl. “But honestly, what else am I supposed to be? Everyone knows me as ‘Superman’s Son.’ I mean, Dad’s name is so big in the League, I don’t think I’ll ever separate myself from it.” And if he was honest, Jon didn’t know if he wanted to separate himself from it.

Damian hummed. “Not true. Look at Richard.”

“Dick? What about him?”

“Well,” Damian paused to move the tweezers to his other hand, “Richard started out as the first child hero, working under Batman. And unlike the other early proteges, he didn’t simply work as his mentor’s sidekick. He created his own legacy. And then he became Nightwing.”

“But Nightwing was already a thing,” Jon pointed out. “It’s a Kryptonian legend.”

“Yes, but there hasn’t actually been a Nightwing, has there? Even if there was one on Krypton, Richard was the first Nightwing on Earth. You wouldn’t call him a sidekick, would you?”

“What, no!” Jon’s reaction was immediate. “Nightwing’s, like, one of the most well-known guys out there. Literally everyone knows him, and literally everyone trusts him. He’s not a sidekick.”

Damian turned to smile at him. “Some would say he was. Do you understand my point?”

Jon pouted, took a deep breath and let it out. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I don’t know, I’m not even sure how to go about doing that.”

“Well, to start off, find a new name.” Damian hunched over the camera even more, suddenly focusing in on something.

“I guess so. You got any ideas?” At Damian’s lack of response, Jon asked again, “Damian?”

Damian straightened, holding up the tweezers. Clasped tightly between the tongs was a miniscule data chip. “Here’s the footage we’re looking for.”

Jon stared at him, eyes wide. “How did you even know that was there?”

Damian shrugged. “Simple matter of deductive reasoning.”

“Tim told you, didn’t he.”

A pause. Then, “Drake may have mentioned a while back that a certain trafficking ring was hiding the data chips inside the cameras, and that others were catching on to the trick. I simply tested out his theory.” Damian looked physically pained, and Jon laughed.

“Cool. Put it in, I’ll look through the footage.”

Damian handed the chip over, then laced his his fingers together, put his arms above his head to stretch. Jon, still holding the chip, stared at the line of Damian’s muscles. When Damian quirked an eyebrow, Jon quickly cleared his throat and took the old data chip out of the computer, replacing it with the new one. “So, any ideas?”

“For your name? A couple,” Damian said. “Of course, you need to have an idea for what you’re thinking of.”

Jon nodded absently, pressing rewind on the footage. “I’m not sure if I want to separate from the Super name entirely, though.”

“You don’t want to, or are you scared to?”

Jon snorted. “You probably know the answer to that better than I do. I think I got a name, it’s on the side of the truck.” He zoomed into the footage. “Yeah, it looks we were right. The pharmaceutical company’s related somehow. There’s that stupid gremlin looking thing again.’

“The griffin?” Damian asked, peering over his shoulder. He made a contemplative noise, brows furrowed

“Is that what that thing’s called? Looks like a half drowned bird.”

Damian laughed, and batted Jon’s hands aside. “That’s not what an actual griffin looks like. Here.” He pulled up a couple pictures on his phone.

Jon swiped through a couple pictures, eyebrows raised. “Yeah, those are a lot more impressive. What are they though?”

“Mythological creatures from a variety of different places. They have the body of a lion and the wings and head of an eagle. They’re quite majestic.”

Jon squinted his eyes at him. “You’re implying something. I know you’re implying something.”

In response, Damian nodded his head towards the phone.

“What?” Jon asked.

“Griffin! It’s a perfect name.”

Jon raised his eyebrows skeptically. “Oh yeah. Because I’m part cat and part bird. Perfect analogy.”

Damian slapped his hand lightly. “No, you moron. It doesn’t have anything to do with the eagle or the lion.”

“Then?”

“Your dual heritage.” At Jon’s uncomprehensive look, Damian sighed. “You’re half-Kryptonian, half-human. And it shows. When you fight, you’re fierce and unafraid, much like your father. At the same time, though, you’re endlessly curious and inquisitive, like your mother. God knows I’ve been on the end of that far too often.”

“Oh. That, huh. That actually makes sense.”

Damian shrugged. “I’m just saying. It would be a good homage to your roots, and you’re honoring your parents, without being too overt.”

Jon looked down at the phone again. The lion part was strong, muscled, steady. The bird’s head was curved and fierce, wings spread majestically.

“Griffin. You know what? I kinda like it.”

OKAY SO THIS WASN’T ACTUALLY MY IDEA i read a damijon fic a while back on ao3 where the author had jon’s name as griffin and i thought that was so so cool so i wrote a thing and i tried to find it again to give them credit but i couldn’t find it!!! so if anyone knows the fic i’m talking about, or if you yourself wrote the fic, please let me know so i can link you in the thing. it really was an incredible idea.

tag list: @comicsandhoney @birdy-bat-writes @elles-shitposts-personified @subtleappreciation @yesboopityboop @dangerduckjpeg @astroherogirl

and i know you’re not actually on my tag list so sorry for bothering you with this but @iamwhelmed i thought you would appreciate this

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jensenreleasethetapes · 4 years ago

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“i wish i knew how to quit you”

based on a shitpost i took too seriously, and the fact that movie nights are canon...

Dean remembers the first time he watched this movie.

It was one day that Sam was out, on a date out of all things, and Dean didn’t feel up to going to a bar. He went to a small dvd rental place near the motel they were staying at, looking for some b horror movie. He strolled the aisles when he saw Brokeback Mountain on the shelves. He was curious, the reason unknown to him at the time. He had heard about it, mostly second-hand jokes about the gay cowboy movie, but not much else. He snatched the movie, and headed back to the horror section, grabbing indiscriminately for another, quickly covering the other movie in his hand. He walked up to the counter, and paid, all the while a strange buzzing under his skin. The cashier, a teen who looked utterly bored, routinely scanned the movie and charged his card. Dean opened his mouth, and tried to think of something to excuse the purchase, but came up short. He then closed his mouth, and tried not to make eye contact. He left the store, and never set foot back in the place. Him and sam would be out of town soon, they had bigger things to worry about than overdue dvd fees.

Later, Dean was drunk in his motel bed, crying with Ennis as he gripped Jack's jacket. He was sobbing at the show of love, the unconditional love they showed each other, and kept showing, against all things. It was a movie that stuck to his ribs for years to come, but why would only dawn on him later. Dean bristled at jokes about the movie for years after, and he kept the dvd in his travel bag since...

Which is how it ended up on the bunker shelves, next to other cowboy flicks he had “collected” from dvd stores over the years. And how Cas ended up picking it and putting it in the player for the two of them to watch.

Remembering all that, almost 12 years ago at this point, it seems like forever ago, It seems especially far now, especially compared to where he is now. He and Cas are sitting next to each other on a couch, after Cas said yes to another one of Dean’s movie nights. They had been on a cowboy binge, getting through the greatest of the westerns, which were chosen at Dean’s discretion. They already watched one movie tonight, but Dean isn’t ready to go to bed yet. He isn’t ready to end this night, since they get them so rarely. He enjoys spending time like this with Cas.

Cas, who is sitting comfortably in some pajamas he’s borrowed (“You know comfort is not of great importance to me, Dean” “Yeah but it’s weird if I’m the only one in sweats”). The glow of the tv shines on his face. His brows are usually furrowed, like he’s studying important information for a test from Dean later. But sometimes, his face breaks into a smile at a joke, or he gets angry at the characters on screen, and he gets exasperated at the character’s actions. Dean has seen these movies so many times, he can stand to watch Cas get swept up in the emotion.

After the first one, Cas isn’t ready to take off just yet either, lingering in an odd way. He looks over expectantly, waiting with words behind his lips. At their mutual reluctance, and his own reluctance to move from the comfortable couch, Dean decides to be generous and let Cas pick the next one, as long as it fits the theme. Cas returns with a dvd, and pops it in the player, then returns to the couch.

Once Dean sees the opening sequence, his stomach tightens. After everything he’d gone through, the discovery and realizations about himself, and after meeting Cas, he knows he’s done for. This movie had got him when he didn’t fully understand the depth of love and devotion, and now that he knows, and the source of that knowledge is sitting right next to him, he’s done for.

He settles in, not bothering to pick a fight with Cas about how this is technically not a “western”.

His first tears fall at Jack’s “I wish I knew how to quit you”, because god did he wish he knew. Cas glances up at Dean's sniffle, his own eyes not dry, and he reaches across to Dean’s shoulder. Dean nods at the contact, his hand swiping his tears away.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know that this one would make you cry,” Cas apologizes genuinely, his voice near a whisper.

“No, it’s okay,” Dean brushes him off, and Cas drops his gaze. “I could’ve stopped it if I didn't want to watch it,” Dean replies. His eyes return to the screen, all the while still registering the weight of Cas’ touch.

The rest of the movie brings more tears, and after the second burst, Cas moves closer to Dean, a reassuring line at his side. Cas’ crossed legs leaves his knees to overlap Dean’s thigh. It's exhilarating and comforting simultaneously, and Dean lets himself get swept up in the romance, and the tragedy of the movie. He doesn’t hold his pain back, nor his sobs. He knows he’s safe to cry with Cas, safe to feel with Cas.

The end slaughters them both, sobbing at the tragedy of jack and ennis’ love story. He knows, too well, the pain of letting something good slip away because of fear, and the danger associated. He knows the self hatred, the disbelief that someone could love him back, despite all he’s done, so unconditionally. Hell, he’s sobbed into a coat on occasion too.

Dean tries to collect himself multiple times as the credits roll, but each time brings more tears. He sighs, trying to regain control of his breath, but echoes of the characters ring in his brain, and he cries again.

Cas doesn’t leave. No, he remains close to Dean’s side, rubbing his back, silent tears falling down his own face.

Dean leans into Cas, deeper into the comfort of him. He feels the tears soaking into the borrowed shirt, growing damp as the time passes between them. And Cas lets him, welcomes him there.

The crying subsides, and Dean and Cas are left on the couch together, the glow of the silent tv blanketing them.

“I think that was my favorite one yet,” Cas remarks, his voice thick from the tears shed. Dean smiles and lets out a small laugh. He sits up to look into cas’ eyes, a little puffy and red from the tears.

“The first one to make you cry? That’s your favorite?” Dean questions, not following his logic.

“I guess I didn’t know movies could do that,” Cas looks off, contemplating his thoughts and feelings, trying to fit them into the right words. “You tend to pick action movies with men fighting each other, so I just thought that that was a movie. Shallow, black and white morals, but fun. I didn’t know they could make you feel like this.”

“Yeah, I guess I just don’t watch many movies that are like this one. Sorry-” Dean offers.

“I just- I didn’t know they could be like that,” Cas interrupts. “I didn’t know movies could be honest, could show love and fear and loss like that. It’s all heightened of course, as is expected of the medium, but isn’t that how love and fear and loss feel?” His eyes flicker around, his hand in a fist, as if reliving his own experiences. “Interactions have more weight, every touch feels cosmic, stakes feel more punishing, but some things shrink, like how the scale of your world zeros onto one person.” Cas’ impassioned cadence slows at the end of his speech, each word hitting harder than the last.

Dean is caught off guard by Cas’ analysis of the movie. Usually he gets a smile and a nod, and if he’s lucky, a friendly debate on the morals of the villains and heroes. Dean is still processing his words and reaction in the brief silence, but Cas starts up again.

“It’s about the attachment associated with love. The wanting of only one person that no other can fill. It’s about making the most of your meetings, wringing out every second of your time together, and cherishing it, however brief. It’s about love despite the circumstances, despite what everyone says, maybe even in spite of everything. It’s about loving, even if you are not able to have them, and the tragedy in and of itself, that is falling.” Cas is wrapped up in his own words, and as he finishes, it seems like the meaning of his own words have dawned on him. He looks bashful, almost like he admitted too much.

Dean is awestruck, and he lets Cas’ words wash over him. Deciding not to let Cas hang out to dry, he gathers himself. If Cas is pushing himself over the edge, Dean is going to follow him.

“I think,” Dean starts, “it’s also about missing someone, losing them each time they leave, not knowing when you’d see them next. It’s about them leaving permanently, and you gripping on to whatever they left you, and the pain with letting them slip away once again.” Dean’s voice cracks, knowing it has given him away. He feels Cas’ gaze on him, but pushes forward nonetheless.

“It’s about not believing someone would love you back, because why you? And them loving you so unconditionally, so fiercely, and not being able to accept that love, because it’s so foreign. It’s about resigning that person to an awful fate because of you. Because you pushed him away, one too many times, because you thought it was too much, he was too good for you. You don’t deserve him, he’s too giving, too loving, too wonderful for someone dirty and fucked up like you-“

Cas cups Dean’s jaw and kisses him silent at his last words. The tears Dean was hiding behind his words fall, as he pushes back to Cas. They hold each other there, pouring more love and acceptance through the kiss. It’s slow, tender, and beautiful, an antithesis to the rushed kisses on screen.

Cas pulls back first, but makes sure to keep Dean’s eyes to his own.

“You deserve everything, Dean. You pushed away, but you came looking so many times too. Stop carrying the guilt for these things. It’s the past, and it’s done. We’re here aren’t we?”

“But Cas-“ Dean starts, but his mouth is covered by a kiss again.

“You held on, you kept me with you, when you had every reason not too. And that’s why i’m back here, we’re here.” Cas pleads.

“I’m sorry, Cas-“

“I’m not. Everything that happened? It all led us here, so can I please have this?”

Dean nods, and kisses Cas again. You can have for as long as you want, I love you I love you I love you…

~~~~

Thanks for reading!

#deancas #destiel #destiel first kiss #destiel fic #destiel ficlet #destiel drabbles #my writing #brokeback mountain

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misha-moose-dean-burger-lover · 3 years ago

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tagged by @kermitdrinkingteadotjpg! thank you eth <3

1. why did you choose your url?

well i was bad at making choices back when i joined tumblr too, so i asked my sister what my url should be and she very wisely said that it should represent who i was so i went with the obvious and have never looked back since*

*except for the two week period in march 2021 when i was rainbowsam hashtag goodtimes

2. any side blogs?

yeah, a lot. way too many actually. but most used currently are the-messedup-priorities-so-far (reblog blog for general stuff) and oi-oi-oi-oi-erwin (aot blog bc i'm newly ✨ obsessed ✨)

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

i complete five years in jan <3

4. do you have a queue tag?

yes, it's 'queueueueueueueueueueue' but the number of ue's vary with the weather. also i don't always tag the queued stuff as queue since tumblr has a fast-queue button now so most of the time, you won't really know. (like right now actually, cause 80% of the stuff on my blog is queued *mysterious laughter*)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

pinterest showed me the way and then my sister diagnosed me with tumblr material :')

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

it's a closeup of bangs!sam eating a rainbow. how could i ever resist? (also: icon credit to @xojo for stilling and magnifying the gif <3)

7. why did you choose your header?

i was going through my picsart phase and editing dozens of spn screencaps a day when i stumbled across purple dog shirt sammy on a bed with a laptop and felt, what the kids these days call, recognition of the self through the other <3

8. what's your post with the most notes?

a "list" of things spn taught us, posted on november 19th, that just has 'get vaccinated' written on it. there's way funnier "lessons" in the notes though

9. how many mutuals do you have?

how...am i supposed to know? (no, genuinely. where do i find out?)

10. how many followers do you have?

4793. and no, i also have no idea where they're coming from. i love them tho 💖💖💖

11. how many people do you follow?

spanning over a multitude of fandoms, over a thousand :)

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

bold of you to assume i don't have entire tags dedicated to them

13. how often do you use tumblr a day?

it's gone down recently because I've got some exams and other real life stuff coming up but it's still an easy couple of hours. more, probably :D

14. did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

yeah, a few times, i think? there's been the usual stuff with w*ncesties on my own posts but that's practically a rite of passage. and there were a couple of times somebody was mean to my friends. but it's been a very long time since either of those things so yay!

15. how do you feel about the you need to reblog posts?

at this point, i'm immune to both the "need" to reblog and the annoyance caused by somebody pointing it out, so whether i reblog or not really just depends on the post :)

16. do you like tag games?

very much! the joy of being thought about outside of my direct sphere of existence my beloved <333

17. do you like ask games?

absofruitly, but i'm phenomenally bad at completing them :< doesn't stop me from starting new ones like every other week though. thank you for bearing with me :')

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

a lot of them actually? can't blame them for being so perfect, ngl 🤷🏻‍♀️ but anyway here's two famouse friends: @super-sootica and @queer-as-frikc :3

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

well, i DO end up asking @paper-lilypie to marry me every now and then. might just be a coincidence tho :/

tagging everyone who's already been tagged up there and @3dg310rdsupreme @irrlicht-ghostfront @bluefirecas and @sherlockisactuallyagaysname if you wanna <3

#tag games #this is like weeks old im so sorry for when this randomly shows up in your notifs eth #but i'd started it before my ''''hiatus'''' so i completed it. are you proud of me :')#about me #long post #shey rambles

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grimm-the-tiger · 3 years ago

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I posted 1,699 times in 2021

150 posts created (9%)

1549 posts reblogged (91%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 10.3 posts.

I added 180 tags in 2021

#my art - 60 posts

#hetalia - 19 posts

#shitpost - 16 posts

#fanart - 14 posts

#pencil art - 14 posts

#hermitcraft - 12 posts

#realicide - 12 posts

#traditional art - 11 posts

#fallen london - 11 posts

#my bad art - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#so instead i'm just going to reblog this entirely because of calling atlantis one of the best disney movies ever made

My Top Posts in 2021

More Grian. I’m really proud of the wings; I thought they came out much better in this one. Same goes for the pose. Now, if only I’d had references...

54 notes • Posted 2021-09-07 16:04:27 GMT

Okay, so Minna Sundberg uploaded a new comic, and, uh...what happened?

It’s called “Lovely People” if I remember correctly. It started out as a pretty decent commentary on social credit systems, but then spiraled downwards into a Fundamentalist Christian tract. The entire reason I liked her work to begin with was because yes, she had a great art style, but also because Stand Still Stay Silent was an interesting usage of pagan mythologies.

According to the author’s note, she found a newfound faith in Christianity, which is great and all, but, like...I’m concerned? Not just for her work, but for her as well. Saying that her audience can only repent for their sins by converting is a staggeringly terrible idea and kind of a spit in the face to some of them, especially people like me who don’t have religious beliefs.

I’m not sure what to think. I’m just...I’m just kind of confused right now, if I’m being honest. This probably shouldn’t affect me as bad as it does, but it does. I hope Stand Still Stay Silent doesn’t turn into Lovely People, because I genuinely enjoy Stand Still Stay Silent and I really don’t want to stop reading it if she starts cramming her beliefs into it. I don’t normally mind works when they’re political from the start, but just shoving it into something that wasn’t political to begin with seems like a recipe for disaster.

65 notes • Posted 2021-03-27 13:00:58 GMT

Even more of my favorite works of fiction described as badly as possible.

Adorable little insect kills God. (Hollow Knight)

A Game of Thrones character’s guide to becoming a dictator. (How To Become a Tyrant) [not technically fiction but I couldn’t resist]

Bird man starts wars on a family-friendly Minecraft server for fun. (Hermitcraft)

Game of Thrones IN SPAAAAACE! (Red Rising)

Ghost Adventures but the ghosts are real. (Lockwood & Co)

Taking the phrase “fireman” a little too literally. (Fahrenheit 451)

Destroying the world is not a good way to spend time with your daughter. (Aru Shah and the End of Time)

An 800-page novel about an interplanetary drug war. (Dune)

Block people die and keep making us cry. (3rd Life)

A narcoleptic drags four kids into his and his brother’s sibling rivalry. (The Mysterious Benedict Society)

118 notes • Posted 2021-09-03 17:02:26 GMT

My favorite works of fiction described as badly as possible, part 2:

Spooky discs change a sentient parrot’s life and cause him to pursue a career in becoming an eldritch abomination. (Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated)

A plane undergoes a delay bad enough that it takes five years for it to land. Its passengers gain a cult following and the same reputation as the X-Men. (Manifest)

Two elementary schoolers get way too into reading. (Story Thieves)

Lesbians spend five seasons brewing the most volatile sexual chemistry ever before finally making out. (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

Kid finds magic watch and goes to fight space Cthulhu. (Ben 10)

Local teenager dies and comes back as half a ghost somehow, more at 11. (Danny Phantom)

A group of teens hate their parents for actually legitimate reasons and run away with a dinosaur. (Runaways)

Lonely teenager finds a girlfriend, closure and also voodoo. Said girlfriend finds out her dad was a dick. (Cloak and Dagger)

Block people punch trees. (Minecraft)

Victorian London but gay. (Fallen London)

A road trip between some complete strangers to go pick up books. (Stand Still, Stay Silent)

130 notes • Posted 2021-03-24 13:01:18 GMT

The various Minecraft SMPs I watch as literary genres/categories.

Hermitcraft - early middle school fantasy with no stakes where everyone’s just sort of chilling.

Empires SMP - solidly middle school fantasy with a lighthearted tone that keeps divebombing straight into “ow”.

Dream SMP - a straight-up YA novel with bloodshed, chaos and angst.

3rd Life/Last Life - that chaotic Hunger Games fanfic you wrote on a sleep-deprived binge in 8th grade that is somehow still good despite being written at the absolute peak of your edginess.

176 notes • Posted 2021-11-21 17:02:54 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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eightfinity · 4 years ago

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Check in tag!

I was tagged by @cheolgyu ty dreamy, I love tag games !! ☺️💖

Why did you choose your url?

so this wasnt my original url I used to be wonboowoo cause I ulted seungkwan (boo) and wonwoo (won woo) but then I started to ult minghao so I added him in to get xuboowoo. I actually only ult minghao in svt now I think but I’ve had the url so long and I still love the other two so I’m not going to change it haha

Any side blogs? If you have them: name them and why you have them.

so not on THIS blog. my last blog before I had to remake had two storage blogs for creations that are still accessible @wonboowoosvt for my gifs and @wonboowoomood for when I made moodboards (maybe I’ll start again?) but since they’re not connected to this blog anymore I can’t update them anymore they’re dead :((

How long you’ve been on tumblr?

uhhhh so 2018 for kpop blogs but like I’ve been on and off using tumblr since like 2012 (personal blogs and sad attempts at aesthetic and manic street preachers fan blogs)

Do you have a queue tag?

I used to use “mind your p’s and queues” but everything sits in queue so I just don’t feel like there’s a point to add a queue tag anymore

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

the biggest part is I wanted to learn how to make and then share gifs within the svt fandom but I also wanted a place to interact with fans peacefully because the only other place I had been doing so was amino apps and people are SIGNIFICANTLY younger than me there for the majority and I had been made fun of for my age and liking kpop before there, tumblr is much more peaceful and friendly (and fck twitter that place is a cesspool I don’t partake in much fandom stuff there)

Why did you choose your icon?

I was trying out themes that let me put pics in the sidebar and I wanted a really cool minghao picture but I ended up picking a layout where the picture is much smaller and when I saw that I was like ooo cool that could be my icon, I wanted a hao icon of some sort

Why did you choose your header?

I don’t have a header here rn but I’m probs going to go back to the header I used on the last blog with a pic of seungkwan and minghao from ideal cut that someone kindly made for me (when I put it up they’ll be linked in my bio for credit, check them out !!)

What’s your post with the most notes?

so since again, this is a remade blog, I’m going to use the post from my original blog that has 3k jun.exe has stopped working

How many mutuals do you have?

if I counted right I have 31 mutuals :))

How many followers do you have?

so my original blog had 2.1k but rn since I’ve remade its 85 😔

How many people do you follow?

right now only 70 blogs, I’m deff looking for more to follow

Have you ever made a shitpost?

probably? idk what qualifies as a shit post

How often do you use tumblr each day?

a lot, I’m on consistently through the day cause I use it and make gifs between work calls since I work from home, I’m trying not to spend as much time on it at night so I can get irl things done and break away from the computer for a bit

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

none that I know the names of, I’ve argued with anons over voting and streaming culture (and will fight anyone on how stupid it is) and I argued with someone cause I said “I’m not a dreamie but this is so not cool” when I saw that video of renjun stuck in the rain without a car to get into waay back (that was debunked I think?) cause they didn’t like that I pointed out I wasn’t in the fandom (my point was that anyone can recognize the situation was messed up and I actually do like some nct dream songs so its not like I hate them)

How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

ehhhhhh I kinda hate them? BUT I’ve used tumblr on and off for a looooooong time and seen SO MANY really stupid ones. I guess some political ones are good but idk, I know the intent is to spread info but I don’t see tumblr as an effective platform for that personally

Do you like tag games?

YES !!I really enjoy tag games, they’re usually really fun ways to get to know the other ppl on the platform

Do you like ask games?

ALSO YES !! but I never get asks when I post them waaah

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

uhhhhh I’m gonna say kevin and dreamy lmao y’all make so much content and I know one of your follower counts so I deff would call you tumblr famous (thank you for all you’re creations you guys always make incredible things !!)

Do I have a crush on a mutual?

nope. first dont know anyone my age here who is also male. second I have a boyfriend. third I just care for everyone in a very very platonic friend way no romantic crushes here :))

Tags?

uhhhhh so many ppl are tagged already sooooo hmmmmm I’m not checking who and I’ll mix it up so I’ll just tag @middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich @bookwan @heonyz @jeonghanmoon @adorablehoshi @minghaon @kyeomblr @shuaway aaaaaaaaaaaaaand @jung-subins and @seungssik gotta get some victon mutuals in here lol

IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE TAGGED IN THINGS LIKE THIS PLEASE LET ME KNOW !!!

#tag game #my answers are weird lol sorry #haven't done a tag game in so long tho #this was a lot of fun #thank you for taggging meeee!!#if I tagged you and #you dont want to be tagged in these #pls let me know !!!#not kpop

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queer-crusader · 4 years ago

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Okay update on my life since it seems talking about it doesn’t trigger another panic attack/breakdown:

So i graduated in july right

And with the end of uni, my student funding ends too

So i look for a job bc i cannot sustain myself otherwise

Except the economy is shit, because the UK is handling the pandemic almost worse than any other country in the world (we love that)

Knowing i’ll need some financial support to tie me over, i apply to universal credit

I also know my roommate, who i’ve lived with for 5 years, is moving out in october, and i will need to find someone to replace her or i end up paying £1000/month for living in this flat, which i don’t have of course

Job search becomes more frantic and exhausting and stressful

Also my dad started throwing up at some point and is eating less and is very specific about not upsetting his stomach. This is strange because he is known for his iron stomach and has not thrown up in years. I know my family history, i have my suspicions, but the doctor says it could be an ulcer. It could be fine, but my brain jumps to the worst-case scenario, because why wouldn’t it? More stress

Universal credit gets back to me - application denied

I think, hey, the category they filed me under seems wrong, i should be a habitual resident, not an EEA jobseeker, because i’ve lived here 6 years now. So i apply for an appeal, explaining the situation

Few weeks later, i receive a letter. Appeal rejected. It goes into detail how some rule that was set up in 2016 (Brexit year) lists all the reasons why just living here for 6 years, building up contacts, creating a future, feeling at home, being allowed to vote for Scottish parliament elections, is not good enough. Every sentence is like a punch in the gut. The letter boils down to fancy government words that translate to “you’re a freeloading immigrant who, according to our records, might as well be living in Fiji, and we’re giving you fuck all. Good luck surviving”

Full-blown breakdown ensues, because I’ve been fearing this ever since i arrived but was told by EVERYONE that that fear is ridiculous. I fit in, i belong, i sound English, i’m fluent, i’m passionate and well-educated about local politics, etc. I knew it wouldn’t be good enough. Race doesn’t matter; I’m European, and for the UK government, that’s good enough.

Anyway, cue the next day, and my mum phones me with news

My dad is in hospital. Turns out i was right - bowel cancer. He’s going into emergency surgery the very next day to get a tumour removed

I don’t sleep that night, for obvious reasons

Dad comes out of surgery fine, they got the whole thing, took some extra tests to see if it spread but it’s looking good so far. Meanwhile i have images of my dad, skinny as hell and with a tube up his nose seared into my brain

I fly home two days later to be with my family, who obviously need me

My dad is cleared of cancer, which is AWESOME, but we do learn that if the doctors had waited a couple days longer he could have had a perforated bowel. My mum is furious with the GP who underestimated the case

I get in touch with my landlady, saying “hey, this is my life right now, i am not in a position to search for a roommate replacement. Here’s the pics we took of the flat, can you look yourself? Also, if i don’t find a job by the end of the month, I may have to move out as well due to financial struggles, so keep in mind there’s a chance you’re going to have to look for two new tenants”

Landlady’s reply: “oh i can’t afford for the flat to be empty so i’m gonna sell it now”

So now i don’t even have an option of keeping the flat. I’ll have to move out, job or not. I can’t afford a new flat, and i can’t look for one bc a) pandemic and b) im in another country looking after my recovering dad (who is still losing weight btw, 15kg or 30-something lbs or 2.5 stone in a month, it’s horrible to see but at least he’s feeling a little better each day)

If i lose my flat, i may not be able to get a UK job. If i don’t get a UK job, chances are, i can not return to Scotland

6 years of living here, of building friendships, contacts and connections, skills for a career (which is also down the drain - theatre, an industry that is currently being killed by a lovely combo of the UK govt and the pandemic), a home, a love for the county, an intimate knowledge of the workings here, the language, the system, the stories, the history, i almost know the system here better than the Dutch one - my entire adult life. I may lose.

There is a chance i’ll be able to cling on, and god im fighting for it with the few spoons i have after all this stress, but the chance of me losing everything is equally plausible.

I have now flown back to Scotland where I put myself in self-isolation

In a week, my roommate will have moved out and i have 10 or so days left stuck in this place all by myself

I will spend this time packing up all my belongings, choosing what to take back to my parents’ place with me and what to put into storage, which i will pay for with my remaining savings and some financial support from the parents (they can’t afford much tho, my mum is unemployed and on benefits and my dad is a freelancer recovering from fucking surgery. I have no idea what their financial situation is right now, but apparently they’re okay-ish with their savings. Still, stress, and i don’t wanna burden them even more)

Then there’s the hope that the lockdown won’t have regressed back to that point where every plane is cancelled, and i’m stuck in this country without a place to call my home. (Don’t worry, i won’t end up on the street if this happens, I have friends willing to shelter me until i can fly home if they have to)

And once i’ve left, it’s only a question of when, and more promenently if, I’ll be able to return here, to Scotland.

I have never been this stressed, and i have never been this terrified. I am angry all the time (yes you can read that in Zuko’s voice lmao), I’m exhausted, and i’m fuelled by spite against prime minister Blow-Job and sheer stubbornness in refusing to feel like shit, because i just can’t be bothered with that. I just about manage to get through the day, to get up at a reasonable time, to feed myself, to shower, to exercise (because if i don’t, my wonky hip will give me hell and i’ll be in agony on top of my depression and anxiety. We love functioning bodies). But I’ll be okay. I’m trying to find solutions for everything, one step at a time. I’m taking care of myself the best i can. And if you wonder where my writing updates are, or my shitposts, or my ridiculously excited tags, then firstly, thank you for noticing ohmygod i love you, and secondly, know that i’ll be back. If God exists, know im kicking their ass. Fuck all this bullshit, my life is a mess but i REFUSE to let it stop me in my tracks. I’m too powerful, i am Brian David Gilbert’s interpretation of Sonic (either a god or can kill god and it doesn’t matter which). I’m gonna keep on truckin.

#anne speaks #long post #tw cancer #tw weight mention #tw anxiety #tw depression #ya know #all the good stuff

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