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zweetpea · 5 months

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Interlude: Between storm and forest

“I’m sorry what?” You ask but it’s muffled. Scaramouche ungags you. “I’m sorry what?”

He kisses you and you kiss him back. “Yes! Finally someone who wants to be with me! I’ve been waiting for someone to actually want me! I guess Baizhu and Dvalin do, but I was promised debauchery! Three people interested does not a harem make. I guess Ayaka may count. But I’ve never seen a harem anime with four people.”

“You’re not going to have a harem. I am going to be your husband and with your power I’m going to overthrow the Archons.”

“Yeah! Let’s go! Venti shot me! That bitch has this coming. Zhongli may be hot and he may or may not have two cocks but he still nearly let his people die so he could drink tea. And your mom may have giant tits… actually your mom’s coming around on me. Like she’s a bitch for abandoning you but she is trying to be a better leader.”

“Ugh, you’re loud.” He starts to leave.

“Wait! Don’t you want to ravish me as my husband to be?”

He looks back at you, face as red as a tomato. “What are you saying!?”

“Please?”

“No!”

“Are you self conscious? I can take top if it would be easier for you.”

“Just shut up!!” He screamed and left.

It was about a month since Scaramouche had taken you away from Inazuma. He’s barely touched you in that time. Gave you a few kisses but it never went farther than that and a few cuddles at night. Like sure you guys are traveling but still!

“Scara.” You say one night. Climbing on top of him. “Please.”

His face goes up in flames. “Stop.”

“I have been promised debauchery. I can feel that you want this. Your dick is sprung against my ass. So what is the problem?

…

we don’t have to do anything tonight but I’d like to know what is going on. A normal thing married couples do is this. Just tell me what’s wrong, I promise I won’t judge.”

“…I… I’ve never… done this before.”

“Do you want to wait?”

“No. It would be harder then because I’ve put it off so much. Doesn’t that bother you though?”

“Do you think that I came out of the womb a non virgin? I had my first time like everyone else. We’ll take it as slow as you want.”

“In that case.” He flips you both over on the bed. “I hope you’re ready to not be able to walk tomorrow. I may have never done this but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m doing.” He kisses down your neck.

“Okay this is certainly something I didn’t expect. I never knew I needed Dom Virgin Scara in my life.”

“I won’t be a virgin for long darling.”

You squeak. Now it’s your turn to blush like a virgin.

The next morning you can’t feel your legs, your ass is sore, your throat hurts and your mouth tastes salty.

“Can you fuck me like your a virgin every night?” You say when he wakes up.

“I’m spent. Next time I’m binding these grabby hands of yours with my Obi.”

“What does a Star Wars character have to do with how hard you fucked me?”

“What’s Star Wars?”

“Nerd movies. The first three made were decent. The prequels and sequels suck!”

“What’s this?” A voice from the doorway called. You two looked back and saw dottore.

“What a pretty specimen.” He said walking closer to you.

“Stay away!” Scara warns wrapping his arms around you.

Dottore lunges and Scara quickly grabs the electro gnosis and uses it to blast you away.

You clung to the blanket for dear life. And when you awoke, you were surrounded by sand and tan buff men and women.

“Pansexual panic!”

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gryficowa · 28 days

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Boycott!

If I hear again that Harris is a lesser evil than Trump and that Palestine "is a different matter" (i.e. less important), I will seriously turn into a demon and haunt you, you piece of trash

Liberals don't even have any shame, even when Harris told them straight to their face that she supports Israel's crimes, you are as disgusting as the IDF because you accept fucking genocide, rape (including children) and other crimes!

You would literally vote for fucking Adolf Hitler! (If he showed support for LGBT+ people, you would elect him, fuck Jews in concentration camps, he supports us gays!)

Yes, I know Hitler was queerphobic, but I guarantee you, these days he would be talking about supporting LGBT+ people and you would vote for him because you want to feed your fragile shitty American ego!

Stop talking about the lesser of two evils when it's fucking genocide!

Palestine is no less important, you selfish pro-genocide liberals!

HARRIS IS A ZIONIST AND DOES NOT SUPPORT PALESTINE, YOU BRAINWASHED EMPTY!

You can't swipe her left, but this bitch swiped you right!

Do you seriously think that accepting fucking genocide and supporting the people who commit it is fucking LEFT WING? GET INTO YOUR EMPTY HEAD!

Harris is right-wing, not left-wing, FINALLY UNDERSTAND IT!

Fuck centrists and liberals, they are just as fucking rotten as right-wingers, fascists and conservatives!

Now that I have your attention:

It appears to me that there is a problem with the link (Even though I have shared this collection many times… Tumblr…)

-----------------------------------------------------------

Yes, let's not forgive the liberals if we don't forgive the Zionists!

Liberals are complicit in genocide! It's time to overthrow the fucking status quo!

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captain-mj · 1 year

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MORE SPOILS OF WAR IF YOU PLEASE YOUR HONOUR. MY WHOLE KINGDOM IN EXCHANGE FOR MORE SPOILS OF WAR YOUR HONOUR.

I have delivered on my promise!!!!

Ghost sat awkwardly at the dinner table with Valeria, Soap and his sisters.

Ghost hated small talk and this was a new kind of grating. He didn’t eat, not wanting to take off his mask. Soap noticed but didn’t do anything. Somehow his hand ended up on Ghost’s thigh and he was trying not to think about that.

“So, Riley.” Valeria looked at him. “Have any fun lately? Burn any villages?”

“I’m… on leave.” He was very conscious of the fact that that all of them were staring at him.

“Why? Get injured?”

Ghost shook his head. “Shepherd is mad at me for taking his war prize.”

Soap frowned. “Me?”

“Yes. He had plans. I ruined them. Don’t know what he was expecting.”

“Especially with your history, yes?” Valeria sounded polite, but he could tell what she was doing. She wanted to make sure Soap knew about his baggage, the bitch.

“I suppose so.” Ghost responded slowly. “Let’s not talk about work with our guests.”

“Don’t worry, Johnny here never has that problem. Just bringing up war at the dinner table! Casually!” Davina complained, though Ghost had a suspicion it was more out of her own curiosity than any attempt to make them feel more comfortable.

Soap glared at her. “Oh, fuck off.”

“How are Alejandro and Rodolfo doing?” Valeria asked.

“Fine. I think their anniversary is coming up.” Ghost responded. He had wet one of his fingers and slowly trailed it along the edge of the glass, trying to make the humming noise.

“You’ll have to remember this time of year. Do you know the date you two got together?” She glanced between him and Soap.

Ghost glared. He had no clue what the answer to that was actually.

Soap hummed. “April 9th.”

Ghost looked over. “How did you know?”

“Well, I was taken on April 9th. So… I would just consider it April 9th. Even if you were a scary bastard when we first interacted.”

Ghost huffed and looked at him, softening a tiny bit.

They stayed the night and Soap looked nervous.

“Something wrong Johnny?”

“I wanted to wait until we were far away to ask this. Shepherd…”

“Never be too careful in the village.” Ghost explained. “Also just… talking about that stuff. Dangerous game you’re playing Johnny.”

“Don’t you want to kill him?”

“Sometimes.” Ghost sighed and slipped off his mask. “I’m starving.”

“Could’ve taken it off.” Soap grumbled. He fluffed the pillows aggressively and flopped down.

Ghost frowned, watching him. He tilted his head. “You want me to want to kill him.”

“Yes. I do. You don’t like him. You said he disgusted you.”

“Fine. Even if I did, are you suggesting I go into his home and kill him? How would I explain that?”

“Blame it on me.”

“And then where would that put you? They’d demand I kill you. In a hopefully graphic way.”

Soap looked at him. “Maybe you have a point. I don’t want you to get murdered either. What if the other people you know wanted to? Like the Alejandro person I’ve heard so much about.”

Ghost debated it. Alejandro was a stoically good person. Strong moral code. Rodolfo was a little more out there. A little more willing to get his hands dirty and hurt someone. If he convinced Rudy, Alejandro would do it.

“You’re thinking about it.”

“Shut up.”

What about Price? He probably would too. Price never hid his disdain for Shepherd, though he wasn’t sure if he’d be willing to overthrow him.

I mean… maybe. Maybe he could.

“Alright.”

Soap shot up. “Alright?”

“Alright. I’ll talk to some people and see what I can do.”

Soap kissed him, pushing him down into the bed. Ghost relaxed and let him. His hands slid under Soap’s shirt when someone fucking knocked.

“I hate it here.” Ghost growled. “Open the door while I get my mask on.”

Soap kissed him one more time before running off to do so. “Don’t bother with the mask. Just a maid bring you food.”

“Thank you Valeria.” He took it from Soap and dug in. Soap watched him.

“Simon.”

“Hmm?”

“It’s not going to run away, man. You can slow down.” Soap laughed.

Ghost growled at him and kept eating. He finished and shoved the bowl on the nightstand. He grabbed Soap and snuggled him, curling around him.

“We’ll see where to go okay?”

Soap nodded. “Alright, Ghost.” He held on to him.

In the morning, they had to go back. Both were impatient to talk about their plan with the others ones. Soap’s sisters hung all over him, talking and asking that he come back soon. He reassured them he’d try to visit as soon as possible.

Valeria hummed next to him. “You know, I think I still have some of your old clothes if you want them.”

Ghost glared at her.

“What? I think some of those skimpy clothes you wer-”

“Not by choice.”

“Yeah, not by choice, but you looked damn good.”

“I’m twice as big as I was back then. Don’t think they’ll fit, plus I’m a lot more scarred now.”

“I’ll send them anyway. Johnny could wear them.”

Oh.

Oh no.

“Please don’t get hard in my garden.”

“Valeria, I’m going to need you to shut up.”

#call of duty modern warfare ii #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #mw2 #soap call of duty #johnny soap mactavish #soapghost #simon ghost riley #ghostsoap #spoils of war

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factorialsotherfandoms · 11 months

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*flails hands of warning* I am being depressing here!!! Fatalistic even! I'm trying to words why I'm enjoying this less than other murder minecraft! I'm talking about concerns I have! Please don't read if this is going to upset you!!! Or if you wanna fight! I'm just hashing out my thoughts!!! Because I can't go back to watch and enjoy and chill until I've been through with them! Gotta pour salt on the ground before I can fill the bottle up with sugar! This is only me talking shit not me talking about bits I've liked which have absolutely existed and if I was having no fun I'd just turn the ducking streams off and not come back! It's just morning and I hurt anx so I'm grumpy!

tbh my biggest concern with purgatory is the knock on effects after it for ccs who genuinely seem not to be having fun. Like they can just not play more, but IC bridges are still burnt (often with OC friends which is miserable to play long term), and like... I'm not actually sure how long Etoiles even if he drops now could still enjoy stuff if q!phil still has issue with q!etoiles after. And I'm pretty sure at least some of them would back off to let those who did have fun continue trajectories it sent them on, and I would miss them?

And it sucks because I know there is fun to be had here, but it's not to everyone's tastes? And it's the people who aren't or weren't having fun who get the biggest consequences after? Because it's an RP reward for a PvP event?

I guess the biggest part of my problem and why I keep thinking there has to be an around or loophole for the eggs it is because it's an rp reward for a mechanics event? And yes all has some rp and some mechanics, but the eggs are most valued as characters at this point. And the fact it's an rp reward means people not having fun are going to have a much harder time stepping away from it.

I'm also concerned about people (red) logging in as much as they are. Because they do not log in that often normally and it's going to burn some of them out.

Idk I want to have fun and I enjoy bloodbaths, but the stakes feel wonky and it's really hard when the people on at my timezome either aren't having fun, are bitching about it, or have potential massive knock on consequences.

If they lose their eggs to this, Fit and Phil are going to be unwatchable. I already can't manage Tubbo. If Fit is miserable Pac is miserable, if Pac is miserable Mike is miserable. For most of the streams I remember it's just those guys hanging out with their eggs. Which we havent had for a while and honestly I kinda enjoy seeing less of them but for the angst because it opens more options, but imagine how fucking intolerable Fit and Phil are going to be near each other if only one of them's egg/s survive? Because the other one did something? Theyd both understand but theyd both be /awful/. Add in that Etoiles is rifted with Phil and oh look theres everything that regularly happens for the PoV that best matches my schedule gone (I enjoy Tazercraft more, but Phil has my exact schedule, so I tend to follow him because no language barrier and I don't miss bits of development for him)

And I know the stakes are the same for everyone, but they're not? Pomme and Richas are basically safe, which covers other morning hours. And Leo and Dapper are also in massive danger, but I don't watch that late normally, so it's less of a concern for me personally?

It's why I have to tell myself the reward isn't the reward, because if it is, everything gets shifted in directions I am not interested in seeing.

Now I think I wonder if part of the reason Phil is depressing to watch is that he's run the same numbers I have, from the same assumption of you can save 4/7 eggs if you win, and realised he can't save both Chayanne and Tallulah even if he wins. Which yeah he has the overthrow the eye thought he did actually share with someone this session but we keep being told it's pure PvP by like Quackity. Which. Tbh pure PvP leads me towards either there is no cursed team or the cursed team is only defined after the fact because??? The stakes??? In terms of reward one team losing is clearly worse???

I also as an aside think it'd really help if the admins were open with the players about how the mechanics work, and had been open in advance about the exact timescale. No hate to them, they obviously want secrets and surprises, but I'm sure Cellbit would be less annoyed if he'd known 2 weeks not like 4 days so he didnt plan and commit as hard to a specific arc plots for himself, or if its had been suggested to wait until after to start something big, and Etoiles would be happier if he could see how scoring worked and knew how shit was assembled so he could more accurate judge what is fair. Shit like beds not working as respawn points and if armour actually is not giving defence should absolutely have been told in advance, though, and to everyone. Admins are new to PvP running so entirely understandable and theres obviously so much work gone into it and they want this to go well and people to have fun, but its misery.

Also splitting people from their friends was obviously intentional but is absolutely contributing to people feeling miserable. Both the ccs who are and the watchers.

Pulling back to morning hours again where dynamics are a huge part (I assume later streamers too but I know these)... Tazercraft are split (potentially interesting but I really really hope they played this in advance especially given how little Mike can get on atm and that they /stream together/ when time allows), and Phil has nobody who shares his stream times and he regularly spends time with on his team (which when we account for afterwards and knock on effects... ow, because people arent going to long term adjust their schedules over this or at least shouldn't). Fit and Pac are managing to still be cute, but can they sustain it over this divide? Tubbo and Fit were already on shaky grounds and this will make them worse. Mike is barely here because life.

Lose any eggs and have the tension from it split up morning hours and honestly I'd rather Phil just streamed hardcore a while because then at least its solo player isolated not cut yourself from your friends and loved ones over a BS AI making you betray each other for what you thought was the sake of your children.

After the first day where I watched Missa farming stream I've only really watched red and green, but blues spawn fucking sucks and is misery itself.

I am begging for team back up hours sometime, but the more Quackity talks the less I expect it.

But, really, my biggest problem is the streamers I enjoy or at least their characters are fucking miserable, when I try change PoV its still miserable, and as far as I can tell they're going to continue being miserable once the event is over.

#qsmp neg #fandom neg #I am just bitching I know this is what I'm doing shhh #Let me get the salt out so I can enjoy it again later #Also I dont want plot deathed eggs because we've already had 2 months of grief arc from their parents #And I dont want shit to just keep getting worse #There needs to be a win and a break /sometime/#Genuinely want green to get a win #And for red to throw #Just for today #Like istg guys if the cursed thing is real you need to keep the teams balanced for a bit

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retreiverrey · 1 year

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Megatron and Starscream read Sparklecare Hospital (2016), how I believe it would play out:

"Oh my poor master! It pains me to see you so weak and wounded! I must say, it rather reminds me of the online Webcomic known as 'Sparklecare Hospial' written by Kittycorn aka Kneeby (2016), my lord..."

"Spare me you gaseous sycopha- Wait.... What in the All-Spark is a 'Sparklecare...' Is it another relic the Autobots plan on using against me!?"

"Soundwave reporting, Lord Megatron. I must inform you that I know of this 'Sparklecare Hospital (2016.)' and no, it is not a relic of any kind. As Starscream stated, it is an online Webcomic, hosted on the human's 'internet' networking system, created and written by the name of 'Kneeby,' also known as 'Kittycorn.'

"Well then, Starscream. It seems for once that your inanity has caught my attention... Please inform me more of this... 'Sparklecare' nonsense..."

"Alrighty, master. You can read it at Sparklecare.com, my lord. Let us give it a look, shall we?"

"AUGH, Starscream!!!"

"These colors are so bright and vibrant, my optics and processor are not capable of recording this!"

"I apologize for not giving warning before hand... But, that is the best part!!! Now then, this story follows the adventures of the protagonist known as 'Barry Erry Ill.' He is named this because all character's names are puns based off of special traits/features they possess! Barry's pun is based on the fact he, like some human's anatomy presents, possesses a poor 'immune system,' therefore is prone to catching common earthly diseases, being a common source of worry and paranoia for him. When his first medical caretaker rejects his pleads, he is then designated a place called 'Sparklecare Hospital,' a rainbow hospital disguised as an enjoyable and trustworthy place, but in a reality is an operation to torture and even kill its imprisoned patients. So now Barry and the patients he makes allies with attempt to escape the building with their lives and expose the hospital to the world around them!"

"Ah... Interesting. Very intriguing I must say. It reminds me of Shockwave's occupation back on Cybertron during the war."

"This however makes me question the motives of this 'Hospital of Sparklecare...' Are the patients tortured and/or terminated to gather information? Is it for punishment? Are the patients secretly part of an enemy faction against the hospital? This was the purpose behind Shockwave's practices, at least."

"Well you see, my lord.... the hospital is owned by the pink one, Cuddles. His motives and reasoning is mostly unknown. But for the most part, it is mostly for no reason. No reason that isn't earthly material gains, much like a lot of the inhabitance on this pathetic planet. In addition to his weak reasoning, he is rather weak himself, not possessing any power or strength, much less over his victims unknowingly. He has also shown to be rather foolish and rash, making him unintelligent. A lot of this could possibly be said about you..."

"What was that, bitch??"

"NOTHING."

"Well then... By reading this comic, I've come to the conclusion that this 'Cuddles' is a fool. No motives or reasoning other than worthless material gains, ultimately being pointless. He possesses little to no intelligence or charisma, and can't even take care of his own little murder faction properly, much less manage and tend to it either. Just by LOOKING at him I want to crush and overthrow him violently. This is treatment I wouldn't even give the Autobots. Disgusting!"

"Ditto, my lord. You, I, and the entire Sparklecare fanbase as well..."

"But this one... The purple one. I am interested greatly in his deal."

"Ah, yes! Cornelius! One of Barry's supposed "friends." As you can see from his physical appearance and from his allotpun name, 'Uni Cornelius,' you can see that he is part unicorn."

"Unicron!?? The legendary Chaos Bringer!?"

"No. A uni-corn. One of the fictitious earth creatures conceptualized by humans for infantry play-tales. He seemingly lacks eyes, his eyes being hollowed out sockets, but has given himself his own eyes by using his magical unicorn powers."

"Hm, interesting... Y'know, I almost had my optics blown out when Prime BLASTED MY FACE IN. Something you DIDN'T contribute to either!"

"Mmmmmm...... ...anyways.... It is commonly teased both throughout the comic and by the creator that Barry and Uni will be engaging in a romantic/intimate relationship. It is even flat-out confirmed by the creator as well, much to the joy of the fanbase unanimously."

"Hm, yes. Through reading this have I noticed and concluded that as well."

"So you are telling me that these two happen to display humanity's tendency of 'homosexuality?'"

"Why yes, master! It is true."

"Ah... I like that. I like that a lot. I am very fond of that, I must say."

"You, I, and the entire Sparklecare fandom once more, my lord! I must say it is a rather magnificent 'ship' if I do say so."

"There is another character I take great interest in I admit."

"Who may that be, master?"

"The multi-limbed rat creature. I would say I find him very entertaining, possibly even relatable as well. Especially since they are forced to work with a bunch of insubordinate MORONS!!! Much like I am... Plus, he even has a cool cloak like I do. Perhaps I would even go to the lengths of saying I... What was the words the humans use on their networking system? 'Kinning' I think it was? Well I would admit that perhaps I 'kin' him..."

"He's also uneededly edgy and anti-social like you are as well."

"What was that!?"

"NOTHING, MY LORD!!"

"I happen to have a favorite character as well..."

"This one I take great interest in too!! I would say I find them rather entertaining as well, and wish they would have more to do in the comic in the future. Perhaps I find them 'relatable' as well..."

"They are also a coward who doesn't know when to keep their mouth shut even for their own good, exactly like you are."

"Well maybe if you weren't such a bitch..."

"WHAT WAS THAT!?

"NOTHING, MY LORD!"

"Ah, Starscream... I thank you greatly for informing me of this 'Sparklecare Hospital (2016) by Kittycorn aka Kneeby...' Such a exquisite experience for something crafted from earth culture."

"I am glad you enjoyed very much so, Lord Megatron!"

"Megatron!!!! I've come to kick your ass!!!"

"Aaahhh, Prime... Have you ever heard of a thing known as 'Sparklecare Hospital (2016)?'"

"No, I have not. Do you mind informing me?"

"Well then allow me to explain.... You see, it starts with a character known as 'Berry Ill...'"

"Hey bros, have you guys ever got the suspicious feeling of giant robot guys from space watching over us and discussing how much they like us?"

"Naaahhh... That's weird. And I've felt a lot of weird things before..."

(I want to thank the entire hilarious inside-joke this spawns from and the odd amount of time/effort to write this, thank you for reading.)

#sparklecare #sparklecare hospital #shitpost #another inside joke thing I found hillarious

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nightmarist · 1 year

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im scREAMING abouit all my choices in bg3 so far. gods above.

BIG spoilers ahead esp about githyanki, the Artifact, thorm, selune, shar, astarion's scars, shadowheart, the nightsong, and tieflings (not necessarily connected nor in that order).

okokokok

i went into the shadows through the underdark, but lae'zel threatened to leave my party if i didnt go find the creche. some of the tieflings were kidnapped, a selunite cleric, Isobel, was able to bless Last Light Inn with her magic. A former Flaming Fist turned cultist with stitched wings came to kidnap Isobel under General Throm's orders, but specifically needed her alive. They realllly emphasized that, he even yelled at the bat demons attacking her to keep her alive.

I managed to keep all the tieflings alive and kill Marcus, but I admit i was very tempted to kill Isobel to ruin his plan; however I felt like if she died, the spell protecting the Inn would vanish with her. So, best option was just to protect everyone and kill Marcus.

Went poking around the Thorm tombs, and found his journals revealing he has a missing daughter: Isobel Thorm. No one seems to have anything to say about that, but it might be bc Tav and co. don't realize Isobel Thorm is the same Isobel from Last Light.

we went through the trials of Shar in the Sharran temple to help Shadowheart become a Justiciar, but Lae'Zel threatened to leave if we stray too far from finding a creche so I left. All the trials are finished but the final location isnt so shes not a Justiciar yet.

We found Raphael and I helped Astarion kill a creature to get Raphael to tell him about the infernal markings on his back. It was a bitch of a fight, btw, one of the hardest I had yet, granted it was probably a fight better with heavy artillery, not a cleric, rogue, and warlock with One damage-tank Lae'Zel. Astarion was the only one alive at the end, and I had One revive scroll. Brought back Shadowheart to cast her spells and heal everyone.

When I first saw the scars on Astarion's back and he said they were a poem, I immediately called bullshit. I mean, not that I thin khe knew, but that they were clearly in a sigil formation. Someone on reddit attempted to translate them which was neat. That thread has mostly people assuming its apact between Astarion and Cazador, but I was wondering: how many spawn does Cazador have? The fragment "translated" sounds like it's in the middle of a sentence. Turns out, yes, Astarion has "sibling" spawn. The full texts are probably spread across their bodies.

It turns out it is in fact a pact with Mephistopheles, but one to give Cazador human properties while maintaining vampire abilities (sunlight walking was the main one). more or less. i REALLY want to help astarion steal it from cazador. Even astarion said he does feel somewhat bad for his "siblings" as Cazador's puppets but if they die it'd spare all of Baldur's Gate their scourge.

We went to try and find missing tieflings, but Zel once again threatened to leave if we dont find the creche. So i went to the mountain pass and found the creche.

I let Zel use the Zaith'isk first since shes been wanting to all this time and I didn't feel it was right to "take" that from her even if we're all apparently going to use it. But it almost killed her and it exploded. We killed some of the Giths to escape and I was forced to either reveal the prism thing or fight the whole creche. I revealed it against the Guardian's wishes, and Vlaakith herself appeared. She wasn't happy that I asked her a question instead of bowing down to her, but she revealed the prism is an Astral Prism and that the Guardian is inside of it. She wanted me to go in and kill him. I said I would but I was reluctant, hoping I didn't actually have to, and lo and behold I had a conversation with him instead.

Apparently Vlaakith is not a real goddess and instead wants to take the prism's power, because otherwise the ghaik will overthrow her.

When we left the prism it was revealed Vlaakith had intended to kill us regardless if we killed the prism guardian or not. We fought ourselves out of that, but I didn't want to fight a bunch of other Githyanki, so I fled through an interesting secret passageway.

It was heavily guarded with traps, but we came to the Blood of Lathander, which was a mace with crystalized blood as a jewel. I stole it and only had 4 turns to leave or the temple would be destroyed. So we barely made it.

At night in camp, Voss came by and offered to help us overthrow Vlaakith and keep the prism safe. He also revealed that the Zaith'isk was never intended to cure the parasite, and that Ascension isnt real. The Zaith'isk steals memories and kills the occupant, Ascension is Vlaakith's way of stealing the lives of Githyanki to ascend to real godhood.

Lae'zel's entire world is basically turned upside down.

As angry as she was, she turned it around, at least, that Vlaakith would name her a betrayer, her loyal child of Gith, and that it isn't Zel who betrayed Vlaakith but Vlaakith who betrayed Lae'zel. I'm glad she has that outlook, but I can't imagine how devastated she would have been.

ive been fucking around exploring the map before i commit to either heading into Shar's temple and into the Shadowfell, or continue to Moonrise Towers.

Met Balthazar, a necromancer(?) on Thorm's side who has been resurrecting undead. He asked us, as we're pretending to be Absolutists, to find Thorm's artifact.

I flitted back and forth between either Moonrise or Shadowfell. if I go to Moonrise will that cut off Shadowfell? But what if I can steal the artifact from Thorm and use it at Moonrise, and save the Tieflings?

Eventually I decided to take Shadowheart, Zel, and Astarion into the Shadowfell.

Shadowheart prayed the entire way there, Balthazar led us into the depths. We had the opportunity to attack him but I wanted to see where he was going with it first.

We came to a magically shackled Aasimar, who turned out to be the Nightsong "artifact" ; her immortality was being siphoned by Balthazar to keep Thorm alive.

We killed Balthazar after about two tries.

Shadowheart took up Shar's pear, ready to kill the Nightsong as is her apparent purpose, but the Narratorpointed out our bond is very strong, she could potentially be swayed. I sowed some doubt in her, but failed a check (it needed 30, so unless I rolled a nat20, which I didn't, I would fail to convince her).

However, Nightsong took her doubts I sowed and used it, telling her there's more about her past she needed to know, about wolves in the forest. Selune blessed Shadowheart, but she's so quiet now. It's almost unsettling. Shadowheart was taken captive, momentarily, by Shar, and tortured, but was blinked back to the party, exiled from Shar.

It's so fucking sad, man, I'm actually tearing up for her. Now I have two apostates on my team who have been nigh torn asunder from their supposed Goddesses. Even the Narrator said if Shadowheart admits who blesses her now, she might break. If you ask her to go to camp, she'll say she's unfit for company and just leave without argument. Its so jarring. I need to give her a hug.

#bg3 spoilers #i mean it

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evening-rose-309 · 1 year

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Saw the post about House and ice cream and this is just a personal thought but what if it's ice cream because House just misses the taste of it? I think I'd be upset too if I couldn't eat a favourite treat anymore if I was in a computer

@bruhvegas made a post about this too I think, but yeah in a nutshell, there's probably a hundred-and-one things he's missing - that he wishes he could feel again or have again for himself, but can't given the circumstances. I mean, for sure, if he ever finds out about Boston and the East - and in my little play world I hyperfixate on, he does - maybe he thinks about getting one of those synth bodies and hotwiring it the same he did his own body, his own brain, to his own brain because he very well can't leave, just so he could feel again, walk around and actually touch the things he thinks he's saved and saving, know with a physical certainty that yes, we did it, we did the impossible, we're going to be okay, but ultimately decides against it.

I'm always stuck on that weird, not quite martyrism he has. @adifferenttime has got it down in their Ryan vs. House post. I think that, even if given that chance, he wouldn't take it, because the chances of bad shit happening are way heavier in his mind and "the devil you know", he's comfortable how he is, and yes he misses ice cream, yes he misses weekends out - with the family, where my house is concerned - but that and everything else is a price to pay for progress, is a price to pay for salvation, is a price to pay for atonement maybe.

but that doesn't mean he doesn't miss it. that doesn't mean he doesn't want things. the "if I were ambulatory" comments he makes. he is in no way in control of his own subconscious, no matter how much he likes to think he is, like he is with every other human being around him. he gets lucky thinking about them as collectives - Legion, NCR, the Families - but once you get down to the individual? he's clueless and I think that goes for himself just a bit as well.

tldr; yes, probably he misses it. he's lucky I have a weak heart, I can never do anything with any of this information - to overthrow him. closest we get is my courier using the passcodes to get where he needs to be without paying egregious prices or bodily harm. I can do angst anywhere else in every other way, but the second I jump in game and think "man, let's do a legion playthrough and explore Iosif's ties with Joshua Graham more intimately" and am faced with the prospect of "a slave obeys" and taking that golf club and listening to his death wail, I chicken out like a sad puppy and do the House run like a good little bitch and ponder multiverses in the back of the cab to uni.

#anyway that's that #i have my own skrunkly little meow meow headcannons #like how it's maybe not just ice cream #but who that ice cream is associated with #but this post is already long so #ask #i'm crazy so i ramble #robert edwin house #happy birthday mr house #fallout new vegas #meta

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thenixkat · 2 months

Text

getting charged with treason b/c you tried to help an alien who's language you literally cant understand

Booster said he's not going to jail if he can help it

pouting pooper

I like when Skeets tries to be threatening. Like sir, you are a flying football.

people keep being sexist at Booster Gold's secretary.

Dirk, Booster's dick agent doesnt think Skeets counts as a sidekick and wants STAR labs to make a supersuit to put a sexy lady in

also apparently the party has been shrunken to teeny alien size via magic. And the small alien wanted help from superman for overthrowing the tyrant that rules over his planet

Booster: Ok, let's go overthrow this tyrant Skeets: Um, let's get more info first Superman: Woah, slow down, we can't just overthrow a tyrant politics are complicated

Booster Gold: We have power we should help the oppressed Superman & Skeets: We have power so we shouldn't interfere

this is why superheroes are agents of the status quo

Dirk Davis got a threatening phone call

Booster is bitter about being told not to help the oppressed

Superman really physically restraining Booster Gold from attacking a tyrant who just said they're gonna kill the freedom fighter as soon as they're gone

I can understand Booster having beef with Superman over this

Booster and Fern the child dont trust in the idea of negotiating with a murderous tyrant

and now Booster and Superman are fighting. Well Booster's fighting, Superman is pretending to 'let the kid burn off some steam and cool off'

i'm disappointed in Skeets' politics

oh yeah only heard one side of the story and the tyrant who was ready to murder you for barely associating with a freedom fighter who you didnt understand the language of at the time and only decided not to after knocking you out, imprisoning you, and mind probing you without consent or forwarning and deciding that you were too stupid to be a threat

clearly more info is needed to make a choice ah yes being passionate about helping people is a flaw as is trying to make money while superheroing

i'm gonna be pissed if SUperman and Skeets are right. B/c the one time a superhero story decides to go against the usual tropes its to tell people to calm down about helping the oppressed

ugh

"you cant dictate their lives for them" why the fuck do you fight crime for superman?!

oh course Booster has to start seeing the light of 'we can't just be helping people' Skeets you narc ass little golden bitch

in the average superhero story, the average fantasy story, that twist of the freedom fighter being a legitimate heir to the throne would have made helping him right and just. But not in this story in this story we gotta have readers learn that they can't just be fucking helping people and people with power have to listen to all sides b/c the fuckers claiming to be oppressed might be lying

of course why did they need to make the not-tyrant come off so homicidal, rude, and unwilling to listen to people telling their side then if he's not actually fucking evil ugh

in which Booster has to get scolded by someone he looked up to that he's heroing for the wrong reasons, can't go around judging a book by their villainous cover, and can't just go around helping people who ask for help just because he has the power to help them and let's not forget that Superman was initially and still on some hater shit with Booster, b/c Booster's really popular right now

Why did Booster lie and say he's 5 lbs lighter than he is? Yeah, Superman just does not like Booster

that's rude ass hell asking if Booster is 'supposed' to have come back in time

again Superman straight up just doesn't like Booster Gold and that is most certainly coloring his opinion of him along with their very different values and the fact that he knows Booster is a criminal

just i did not like this story

that explicitly, wanting to help people who ask for help is childish and hotheaded and that calmly listening to both desperate people and the people that locked them in a prison to get 'both sides' is the mature adult and heroic thing to do

#nix meows #nix reads comics #booster gold #booster gold 1986 #superman #skeets dc #superhero crit

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jade-eclipse-lithium · 11 months

Text

You’re huge and spikey!

You’re tall, gloomy!

And lonely.

And I’m lonely too.

So instead both of us being lonely, we can be there for each other.

My inspiration at 3 am.

How i love you and hate you at the same time.

They hovers gracefully.

Can you let me down now.

This is what it’s like, to be known as dead.

Stop it.

Now open up your eyes you’ll see the world that is red.

I give up.

So what’s the word Captain?

Recite all fifty state in a second!

*Loud yelping noise*

I’m hot milky.

This motherfucker going to jail.

I didn’t serve in the military!

You have a fucking dog tag on your neck!

Hold the fuck up.

You’re the fuck up.

Yes hold me.

I’ve told you I’m not a five-year-old kid you know that.

Then stop acting such a brat.

Your forehead shine brighter than my future.

Bullshit! The part about my forehead not your future.

APPLE PIE DOESN’T HAVE APPLES.

The apples are in the pie.

I DON’T SEE ANY.

Ts’ matta?

You mean what’s wrong?

Why would you overthrow the government?

They hid about Area 51 and imma flip tables like Jesus did in the temple.

GET YOUR HANDS OFF

THAT

BUTTON.

I am Groot.

DO NOT.

You’re just a big softie about this sad movie.

No I’m still said about the popcorn, it’s overpriced.

Officers there’s two lunatics fighting in my house.

I’m your young sibling!

And I’m their youngest sibling!

You moved before i hit you.

I can see the future.

No you don’t.

Yeah i got beaten so much i know your moves.

Find the nest

Cut the wings

Break the beak

Crack the eggs

Shake the omelette

Put in seasoning acquire

Breakfast is served

Boo!

AH!

Ow you hit me in my nuts!

Son of a bitch!

You’re dressing as an old lady?

Not my best disguise i know.

#incorrect quotes #family memes #memes #funny memes #incorrect qoute #daily memes #jade/eclipse

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dxsturbia · 1 year

Text

Kanye West while reference an iconic moment in his career

I made that bitch famous

Also Kanye West not even like six months later slavery was a choice

Being enslaved is a state of mind are you telling me you couldn’t overthrow the government in 400 years

Well I mean we haven’t done it yet

…y’all

Why do you let him have it

Yes in that moment I’m going to defend him because I understand where his art form comes from And it is really not meant to be palatable

Just got popular

#love notes to imaginary friends #taylor swift #kanye west #Jay z #Spotify

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jeezricksa · 5 years

Text

morty: grows a backbone, talks back to rick and stands up for himself more often, understanding that even if rick does care about him the way he expresses it is toxic and can border on abusive

fans: oh my god ............. HE’S BECOMING EVIL MORTY!!!

#bitch...#do people really think changing as a character and standing up to your abuser means you're evil now? LMAO!#i think there's going to be friction between him and rick; they might end up doing their own seperate things now and then #and YES morty may defer to 'evil morty's' side for a while even!#because evil morty wants ricks to stop treating morties like shit and stands firmly by the philosophy 'ricks don't care'#which doesn't seem to be wrong does it...!#but evil morty is going about it in way too extreme a way for morty to condone it for long #he might stand by him for a bit purely believing his message is good and that he's advocating peacefully for change #but standing by a callous murderer? nah...#the moment he realises he's out #and he'd probably return to rick at that point to be like hey the citadel is fucked and the president is corrupt and not making good changes #so if you want to make up let's go and overthrow that shit dawg...#KJSFKAG I HATE HIM.#delete .

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thequackcity · 3 years

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Quackity and Schlatt’s Relationship - More Complicated Then You Think

(this is all /rp and about the characters from the dream smp! pls assume i have the dignity not to write analysis of youtubers)

recently there was a bit of discourse surrounding the relationship between Quackity and Schlatt floating around on tumblr. tho i never saw the original post that sparked the conversation, i did see a few posts that were inspired by it mentioning how they disliked that the original post implied that Quackity and Schlatt were mutually abusive and/or equally bad for each other

since i never saw the original post, i can't be sure if that's what the op meant to imply. it's not really my place to speak about a post that i never got the chance to read. BUT the conversation that was caused by the post in question did get me thinking about how this fandom treats the relationship between Quackity and Schlatt and how little nuance there is in discussions about it

now before i say anything else, i want to make a few things clear:

i don't think Quackity and Schlatt’s relationship is mutually abusive. no need to worry about hearing that from this post

i don't look down on ppl who have different interpretations of their relationship

there will be potentially triggering content in this analysis. i will place a quick warning whenever i think one is needed!

their relationship is romantic in canon and therefore i’ll be treating it as romantic

alright now that we’ve gotten all of that out of the way, we can finally get on with the analysis! i apologize for how long this is gonna be

part 1: let's talk relationship!

i think we can all agree that Quackity and Schlatt’s relationship was not exactly a healthy one. tho it didn't start out that way, it certainly turned into what could be read as abusive or toxic (i personally read their relationship as being abusive in its later half due to evidence provided by the text, but i understand if others prefer to view it as just toxic instead)

but what happened that led to their partnership ending so badly? what caused all of this mess?

well, it was a lot of things. but we will get to that later. let's talk relationship first!

from the very beginning, Quackity and Schlatt’s relationship was pretty one-sided. tho they both clearly liked each other as friends/partners in crime both before and after the election (yes they did interact before the election!) Quackity was also interested in Schlatt romantically- something that Schlatt wasn't fully committed to

as we all know from the infamous date stream and from a few other moments, Quackity and Schlatt enjoyed playfully flirting with each other- tho it was pretty obvious that Quackity was more serious about it then Schlatt was even tho Schlatt considered Quackity to be very attractive

in my opinion, Quackity is someone who wants a long term relationship, while Schlatt is more interested in flings. this can be seen in Schlatt refusing to marry Quackity and rejecting most of his advances while Quackity tried his best to convince him to feel otherwise. Tommy put it best: Quackity is just one of Schlatt’s many bitches U_U

to Quackity, the romantic aspect of their relationship was very important. because Schlatt never actually shot him down or told him that he didn't feel the same way, Quackity took that to mean that they were truly in love. Schlatt on the other hand wasn't very invested in the romantic side of things but clearly valued Quackity’s looks and his support as an ally against Pogtopia so he never fully rejected Quackity’s advances

this might not seem like too big of a deal considering the other things that happened between them, but i think it shows part of the nature of their relationship. there is a lot of miscommunication and, on Schlatt’s end, manipulation of emotions. love is a strong motivator for loyalty and Schlatt is a smart guy who would know how to use that to his advantage

but that isn't to say that Schlatt didn't ever care about Quackity!

Schlatt is a complicated guy and figuring out when he's actually being genuine can be pretty difficult. but i think there are some moments that point to Schlatt genuinely caring about Quackity

when he was alive, Schlatt was pretty paranoid. not as paranoid as Wilbur, but certainly up there. but there were never any times where he truly questioned Quackity’s loyalties after his first day as president. Schlatt also seemed truly upset that Quackity betrayed him, bringing up their status as partners in crime while ranting about how much it hurt him and singling Quackity out while talking about how he had been abandoned during his time of need

Schlatt also spent a lot of time sulking after Quackity betrayed him and whining to Ponk about needing a new bitch. this is in contrast to how angry he was after Tubbo betrayed him- both during and after the execution

there is also the situation with the Big Man Gym

after being dead for a while, Schlatt contacted Quackity despite them leaving off on bad terms and asked for him to visit him in his cave gym. when Quackity showed up, Schlatt talked about how he valued their relationship and the good times they had together. tho this can easily be seen as emotional manipulation, Schlatt’s a lot smarter than he seems and- if he doesnt have memory issues due to being a ghost- would know that Quackity’s opinion of him was in the dump at the time of his death and most likely wouldn't have improved since then. Fundy has a higher opinion of Schlatt than Quackity does and is someone who obviously craves validation. but Schlatt went to Quackity first anyway and trusted him to help revive him

i think that this is all good evidence that points towards Schlatt truly caring about Quackity as much as someone like Schlatt can care about anyone- or at least valuing him as a companion

i also think that it is pretty common knowledge that Quackity cared about Schlatt- and possibly still does- but i will go over a bit of evidence that i haven’t already mentioned before we move on to the next part

Quackity tried multiple times to impress Schlatt (like when he lied about knowing how to play chess), would attempt to help Schlatt when he was drowning in water, sadly said that they could have had something together while Schlatt was dying in the caravan, and implied that he wouldn’t have left if Schlatt hadn’t taken down the white house. Quackity also willingly went to the Big Man Gym after being summoned there by Schlatt and wanted to revive him long before the revive book became part of the story

part 2: what made it fall apart?

everything i've said so far has been pretty interesting (hopefully) but it doesn't really answer the original question: what went wrong to turn Schlatt and Quackity’s mainly positive partnership sour?

well it comes down to two things in my opinion: their incompatible desires for political power and Schlatt’s deteriorating mental state

Quackity wanted political power from the beginning and wasn't afraid to be open about his desires. he pooled his votes with Schlatt because Schlatt offered him the position of vice president, something Wilbur and Tommy weren’t willing to give to him. tho Quackity obviously cared about L’Manburg and wanted to see good things for it, he also desired power and was willing to team up with someone he didn't fully agree with to get said power

at 32:40 in this video, Quackity talks about how in politics everyone uses everyone so it's alright if Schlatt is using him. he then talks about how he doesn't want to be a man with no power and how he understands that Schlatt’s main goal is also gaining/keeping power. Quackity also shows a bit of his naughty evil side by saying if he overthrows Schlatt then the fun ends too early!

(side note: these two are pretty evenly matched in intelligence and manipulativeness, i love it!)

it's a bit of a fandom misconception that Quackity was a love sick yes man during the Manburg era. tho Quackity did want to please Schlatt and was in love with him, he didn't shy away from standing up to or disagreeing with Schlatt when he believed it was needed

at around 26:12 of this video, Quackity and Schlatt meet together in private and Quackity tells Schlatt off for playing down his role in the power structure of Manburg. since this was very early in Schlatt’s reign, Quackity shows no fear towards him and confidently tells him not to treat him like that

Quackity also broke Niki out of jail after regretting letting her be put there in the first place, tried to convince Schlatt to not execute Tubbo, jumped in front of Fundy when Schlatt tried to attack him, tried to stop Schlatt from tearing down buildings, and attempted to protect the white house he built from being destroyed by Schlatt. these are not behaviors of a pure yes man but of someone who, despite fear, has the confidence to speak up for himself even when disrespected by someone in authority

Quackity has always been someone who wanted power and someone who was never a yes man to authority. this contradicts with how Schlatt believed Quackity should act as vice president. in Schlatt’s opinion, Quackity’s one job is to sit around looking pretty while Schlatt does all of the important things and holds all of the power. Schlatt was a big fan of promoting people to worthless positions of authority and its pretty obvious that he considered vice president to be similar to the fake positions he gave Fundy and Tubbo

in the end, this was a big part of what destroyed their relationship. like it or not, Quackity’s a power hungry guy and always has been. he didn't like that Schlatt constantly shoved him aside and refused to listen to him

now onto the nasty bit...Schlatt’s mental state

cw for mentions of alcoholism, mental deterioration, and abusive behavior

before i say anything more, i just want to say that i don't think having issues with alcoholism makes someone a bad person. i personally have some issues with such things so it would be pretty stupid of me to say being an alcoholic makes you a bad person. alcoholism does negatively affect your cognitive functions tho and, combined with other health issues, can cause some of the very serious mental problems that Schlatt clearly struggles with

throughout the Manburg era, Schlatt’s mental state rapidly deteriorated. he went from a pretty normal- if eccentric- guy who had a drinking problem, to someone who was delirious most of the time. it's a sharp and noticeable decline that caused a lot of pain for Quackity due to Schlatt often taking his excess aggression out on him by yelling at him and/or belittling him. tho Schlatt often belittled Quackity before he went fully off of the deep end, it was never as aggressive as it was when he was in this delirious state of mind

it was during one of Schlatt’s most aggressive and delirious moments that he tore down the white house despite Quackity’s protests. as we all know, this caused Quackity to snap and kill Schlatt (it's more complicated than that but we will get back to that). as mentioned previously, Quackity implied that he would have stayed with Schlatt if the white house hadn’t been destroyed

in my opinion, these two things combined are the biggest reasons why Quackity and Schlatt’s relationship fell apart. their differing desires for power were not compatible and Schlatt’s awful behavior while his mental state declined caused a rift between them that couldn't be fixed

part 3: how toxic was it really?

cw for emotional and physical abuse

as i said all the way back in part one, Quackity and Schlatt’s relationship was not healthy. i have provided many examples in the other two parts that shine a light onto why it wasn't healthy, but i didn't show the entire picture

there are many moments that show exactly how Schlatt treated Quackity when he was acting at his worst and none of them are pretty. tho Schlatt was never truly aggressive with his insults until he started to go off of the deep end, that doesn't mean that what he said wasn't negatively affecting Quackity

Schlatt would belittle, insult, and mock Quackity for his appearance not being up to his standards, for his opinions, and for being emotional in ways that Schlatt disapproved of like crying. tho Schlatt would often brush off Quackity’s reactions towards this cruel behavior, it's very clear that Schlatt’s treatment of him has stuck with Quackity in many ways

Quackity is very sensitive about his appearance and it seems to be because of how badly Schlatt hurt his self esteem during their time together. Schlatt tied Quackity’s worth to his appearance and then would claim he wasn't meeting his standards of attractiveness. we can tell that this has stuck with Quackity because of his sensitivity towards people bringing up the scar on his face (something that greatly alters his physical appearance) and he still reacts very badly when Schlatt calls him the mocking nickname flatty patty

speaking of flatty patty- that stupid insult shockingly has a lot of weight in Quackity’s relationship with Schlatt. tho its something the audience is meant to laugh at, the nickname also shows just how little Schlatt respects Quackity because he's constantly throwing it around just to make Quackity upset. Schlatt’s last words are flatty patty all because he wanted to get in one last dig at his ex and ruin Quackity’s day even further

Schlatt tends to do a lot of things that are intended to make Quackity upset. tearing down the room Quackity made for him in the white house is the biggest example of this- especially since Schlatt mentions how it will upset Quackity while he does it. you can see this moment at around 19:10 of this video

and now let's get into the elephant in the room when it comes to these two: Quackity was scared of Schlatt. tho we never really see Schlatt hit or attack Quackity physically outside of their confrontation at the white house or their confrontation in the caravan, these clips imply that Quackity was at the very least scared of Schlatt physically harming him in some way

as for actually physically harming him, Schlatt hits Quackity multiple times with a pickaxe and with his fists during their white house fight. Quackity hits Schlatt a couple times too, tho these are all primarily defensive blows since he is trying to protect himself and his property. he also chases after Quackity with a bow after Quackity’s plan to trick him into signing Manburg over to the Pogtopians fails and hits him multiple times during the caravan confrontation

all of this evidence shows that Schlatt was an abusive (or at least toxic) partner towards Quackity and someone who greatly affected him in many ways

tho Quackity did a few questionable things throughout his relationship with Schlatt (such as trying to get Schlatt to have sex with him despite Schlatt not being interested as shown in the later half of this video) and did some downright morally wrong things during his time as vice president of Manburg, no one deserves the pain of an abusive relationship- even a person who has done bad things

as a brief side note before we move on because i know people will bring it up if i skip over it, Quackity did- and most likely still does- want to literally possess Glatt. he brought up reviving Schlatt and using him as a political pawn after Schlatt’s funeral and during their conversation at the Big Man Gym Quackity talked about owning Glatt and having him work at Las Nevadas with no pay

this is unsettling behavior to say the least but this essay isnt about the aftermath of their relationship so much as it is about their relationship when it was actually happening. maybe i will make another post talking more about how Quackity’s relationship with Schlatt affected him even after Schlatt’s death and/or about Quackity’s relationship with Glatt

part 4: final thoughts

i’m not exactly sure why the nuances in Schlatt and Quackity’s relationship get lost when it comes to the fandom, but it’s pretty disappointing to see. hopefully this essay can help people take a closer look at canon and maybe even help them find something interesting that they’d want to explore!

tho the point of this essay is to clear up any misconceptions and hopefully add some nuance to the conversations surrounding Schlatt and Quackity’s relationship, i also wrote it in hopes of showing people how fascinating these two partners in crime were back in the Manburg days. i didn’t cover everything but i think i did a pretty good job for my first analysis post in the dsmp fandom

also since you read to the end, i must say thank you! it really does means a lot to me that you did. i hope you enjoyed and maybe even learned something. this post can be used as a resource if anyone wants to use it as such

here’s a tiny devil Quackity for your troubles <3

#quackity #jschlatt #manburg #dream smp analysis #dsmp analysis #posts by me #this was really fun to make!! i worry it wont show up in tags tho bc of how many links there are in it #so pls reblog!! if you read it and liked it that is haha #meta by me

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myvirtuesuncounted · 3 years

Note

"problematic representation of the gods" You mean taking a bunch of guys who, in their mythology, often amounted to a collection of petulant, violent, lecherous, holier-than-thou assholes on their best days and filtering that though modern-day perspectives (namely a somewhat jaded teenage boy)?

*sighs*

look anon, idk who you are, and frankly, idc. because whether or not it's on purpose, this is one of the most blatantly disrespectful asks i've gotten.

Now i'm gonna start this off by saying that it is completely okay to like pjo (in fact you see me reblog this content on the daily) but you have to acknowledge that it got a lot of shit wrong. and you know what? i'm happy i got sent this ask because i will be able to explain in depth all the things rick riordan got wrong (which is a lot, so i might not get through it).

Let's start simple, first imma talk in a broader sense, then i will digress into the most problematic depictions in my opinion.

In a broader sense, you shouldn't apply human values and ideas to gods. Hellenisimos is a rather small religion and imma just say, if any major religion was represented like this, no one would even go near rick riordan. But people think it's okay to shit on a group of people who worship and work with these gods and find these depictions very offending. More often or not, the people who shit on the Greek gods have only the smallest understanding of mythology and use western retellings as sources, which, imma say it, is a coloniser move because you are disrespecting a beautiful culture and religion by making stupid assumptions based on your small-minded mindset. Think of it like the Europeans colonising places like the Americas and Asia and spreading lies about the indigenous cultures, but instead it's the Romans colonising Greece and butchering their myths. I am not Greek, nor am I a Hellenic polytheist (tho the religion and practices really draw my interest and i'm absolutely in love with it), but I am educated enough to do my own research and actually give respect to all religions.

Now moving on to individual depictions, which I think are the most problematic.

Zeus- I have seen Zeus hate everywhere, including in the general community. In fact I used to hate Zeus as well, until i started following a Hellenic polytheist on tiktok (@/sappho.wannabe) and they explained what's wrong with this problematic mindset and also what's wrong with pjo. Zeus is depicted as abusive, a bad dad, and a haughty, power-hungry ruler, a rapist, and a bad husband (and this is also the general depiction). He is NOT any of that. "Oh but he cheats on his wife and has a bunch of kids" he does this because of prophecies given by the Fates about demigod heroes and frankly, Hera understands this. Lemme just say that when the Age of Heroes ended, he stopped hooking up with other women. "He's a rapist!" This mindset is completely out of context. Think about the culture in which this is written in. The Ancient Greeks did not see it as such and it's considered a huge blessing to bear a god's children. This idea may also have come up due to mistranslations. "He's a bad king and the gods wanted to overthrow him" Yes, that myth of Hera, Poseidon, and others joining forces to attempt a coup is correct. But after that incident, Zeus swore on the river Styx to be a good husband to Hera, a good father to his Olympian children, and a better king. And he lived up to it. About him being a bad dad, he made some decisions that he absolutely did not want but he was the king of the universe; he has to do what's best for it. Frankly, his depiction in pjo is based on western, colonised retellings and stereotypes.

Hera- Imma start by saying that all the goddesses' depictions are sexist. Hera in pjo is a cruel bitch who hates her husband and his lovers. HONESTLY PEOPLE WHO THINK THIS STFU AND DO SOME RESEARCH! "She tortured her husband's lovers!" She punished the lovers who thought they were better than her and yes, she was jealous at times BUT THAT DOESN'T DEFINE HER AND THAT OVERALL MINDSET IS SEXIST! "She hates her husband and is in a loveless marriage" Oh my fucking gods, you think that the goddess of marriage and patron of wives would stay in a loveless marriage?? NO. She loves Zeus with all her heart and yes, she gets mad at him for cheating but like i said, she knows it's for the prophecies. And lemme just say, she's allowed to feel upset about that. But in modern days in a religious context, their marriage is rather healthy as the Age of Heroes has come to an end.

Athena- Lemme say something. How dare Rick write in a maiden goddess having children? Idc how she conceives them, she swore an oath of chastity, which means no children. So essentially, the mere existence of the Athena campers is problematic and disrespectful. Now moving on to her personality: she is depicted as haughty, mean, and cold. Especially in Mark of Athena, like wtf?? Athena would never treat someone like that out of the blue. And her sending off demigods to die just to retrieve a statue?? Also lemme take this moment to say that the myths about Medusa and Arachne are not Greek. They are Roman. And also written by Ovid, someone who hated the gods and authority in general and essentially colonised the myths and wrote them to make the slander the gods, especially Athena and Poseidon because he was kicked out of Athens. In Greek myths, Medusa was born a gorgon, she wasn't transformed. And I don't think Arachne even appears in Greek myths.

Ares- Okay, wow. So Ares in pjo is abusive and sexist. Which is absolutely NOT him. He's literally the patron god of the Amazons, a group of women warriors who rebelled against the patriarchy, how would he be sexist?? And Ares is arguably one of the best dads on Olympus and is in a healthy relationship with Aphrodite. He may be the god of war but he doesn't use violence inappropriately and is not a dumb brute.

Aphrodite- Once again, this depiction is extremely sexist and rick really let all his misogyny into this, didn't he?? In pjo, Aphrodite is a catty bitch who hates anyone pretty and sees people as objects in exciting stories. First of all, just no. Aphrodite is one of my favourite goddesses and i hate the misinfo spread about her. She doesn't hate pretty people, she hates people who use their beauty to compare themselves to a literal goddess of beauty. Mortals comparing themselves to gods in any way is extremely disrespectful. And she lets those people know it. Also, when Aphrodite is a goddess of love, that includes self-love and a lot of people, myself included, see her as motivation to practice self care. May I also say that Aphrodite was worshipped as a war goddess (Aphrodite Areia) in Sparta, comparable to Ares. Sparta, the most warlike city in Greece, respected her as a war deity and a love goddess. Athens didn't do this because they had the sexist mindset that a goddess couldn't be extremely feminine and warlike at the same time.

Artemis- Lemme clear up a big misconception about Artemis, she is not aroace. People want to use her as aroace rep but she's not. If you want aroace, look at Hestia (not Athena because she did have romances with Pallas and Myrmex). Artemis is in fact sapphic (not saying lesbian bc i don't wanna label the gods' sexualities). The vow swears off men, and that allows the loophole of dating women. In fact, the entire point of her hunters is a group of queer women who can escape the patriarchy. Think of the myth of Artemis and Callisto; Zeus chose to take the form of Artemis when approaching Callisto, and this would never have worked if Artemis and Callisto were just friends. THEY WERE DATING! And in the rrverse, it shows Artemis kicking out two lesbian hunters, like wtf?? Finding sapphic lovers is the whole point of the Hunters, why would she kick out women for doing just that??

Hades- Pjo seems to imply that Hades would cheat on his wife to have kids. NO HE WOULDN'T. He loves Persephone SO MUCH, he would never do that to her. And also the insinuation of him siding with the Nazis?? Omg this is just another depiction trying to vilify Hades.

Okay, that's probably the most problematic inaccuracies there (and perhaps the most common). And if you were simply uneducated, you should understand now, but if you're just being disrespectful, fuck off from my blog.

#diya answers #anon #how hard is it to get ur sources from the correct sources?#i.e. ancient texts not from a white man writing children's books #important #rick riordan #pjo hoo toa #if this post doesn't blow up i'll be so pissed #bc people just don't wanna be educated and it'll show

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