#yes i know thats not how the loops work at all but let me dream. for the bit:tm:

[rbtlvr]

you know how if you kill a warrior clan leader hard enough they lose ALL their lives. i think that should apply to siffrin i think if he dies badly enough it should take like. five loops to come back properly

[lavender-z-love]

In Denial | Koga

───—･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. —───

Genre | Black.FemReader X Koga, Demon X Demon, Mature (Nothing crazy you'll see), Cat x Dog, Nakedness, 'Tsundere'? (The reader), arranged marriage.

Content warning | Nudity, spelling errors.

A/n | This was supposed to be a Halloween Special but I got busy so, here you go ♡

Wordcount | About 1.2k

—♡

Cat demon Tribe and the Wolf demon tribe. The both weren't on good terms which is why a arrangement was set. The marriage between Y/n and Kouga was to be set, the two leaders to destroy what disagreements they had and stop this ridiculous rivalry.

Kouga, had nothing but the up most respect for you. So did some of the wolf demon tribe members. Those 'Some' being the few you grew up with as a child. You'd never thought in a million years your parents would force you to marry.

Kouga, willing to wait. A total gentleman, not to mention beautiful and agile. Though, you...not with any of it. More like you hated Kouga. Dispite your uncooperative-ness Kouga loved you anyway.

Avoiding him at all costs because you wouldn't deny you were attracted to him, you just wanted to live in denial.

A warm evening you decided to go for a bathe in a nearby pond. Bringing soaps and shampoos, which a human friend of yours 'Kagome' gave to you as a gift. You set your items down and began to strip. Neatly folding your clothes, you jump into the water; fully submerging yourself.

You relaxed completely under water, enjoying the way the mini current felt on your face. That was until, you sensed something..rather someone. Quickly bringing your head above water you turn around to see who it was. Your fiancé sat at the edge of the pond.

"Hey Y/n." He said softly,"I didn't know cats loved water." You stared at him blankly.."Mm, delightful.."

Kouga chuckled,"Is it okay if I hop in?"

"Yes, I was getting out anyway", You say with a tinge of annoyance in your voice. Going to the opposite end of the body of water to get out.

Kouga raised a brow,"Getting out? Oh come on, I saw you just get in." Oh, you'd been caught, like a deer in headlights.

You feel your cheeks burn, realizing what he had said. You turned to face him before scolding him, "Y-You watched me?! So you're a pervert! I knew I-". Stopping mid sentence as he was fully naked and getting in the pond. You were visibly flustered as the sight before you. "O-Oh my god!" Quickly turning around, your mouth gaped as you looked at the picture in your mind.

Kouga slowly making his way to you,"Y/n I don't mind if you look at me...". Still stunned, you fan yourself with your hand and whisper, "Be gone bad thoughts be gone.."

"Oh? I thought I was a pervert.."

You turned around to face him,"Look here you– Im-!.." Is he doing this on purpose?! Its like he's trying to get you to see his body. You turned around and because of how much taller he was than you; your eyes meet at his chest. Sculpted abs, toned biceps, his curved collar bone– then up to his neck, that delicious adam's apple. His jawline was well-defined and sharply angled, like it could cut anything with a simple touch. Then, his face. Handsomely majestic–

You knew you were staring, you were checking him out and it was plain as day. He didn't say anything, he just watched you do so as you day dreamed. When you snapped out of it, you took a deep breathe before turning away.

Kouga wouldn't let you, he pulled your arm back. "Hey..Why avoid me again? It's not going to stop you from marrying me you know."

I laugh,"So far its worked–"

Kouga sighed,"Thats because I let you be. I could bug you like I am now, but I didn't." He reaches for your hand, he guides it to his chest. Sliding your hand along his torso. Pulling you in close, his free hand looping around your body and placed on your waist.

Kouga's voice, whispering: "You can't run from me forever"

You whisper back,"I will..watch me."

Kouga sighs,"What do I have to do to get you to love me?"

"Nothing, because it's not happening."

Kouga narrows his eyes, raising a brow. He smirks,"Sweetheart, you've been feeling me up for the past 5 minutes.."

"You started it..", you hissed.

"You're right, but I let your hand go. So, A: it seems like your hand has a mind of it's own..or B: You're the pervert."

You look at your hand and, its migrated up to his bicep...You retracted your hand and walked around him with annoyance. "You're starting to get on my nerves!" You couldn't stay any longer or you were for sure to give in to your desires.

You should've known, nothing would get past him. "Y/n, will you please stop avoiding me." He follows after you, "I don't understand why you don't like me so much. I can assure you we can come to an agreement– I promise to treat you like a goddess." You turn around facing him.

"You hardly know me, why are you okay with this marriage?"

"I just want to stop this useless fighting"

"So you admit you're using me to get my tribe to side with yours? Hm? What tired of having so many enemies?",you smirk.

"No! I'd never do that Y/n..I just want all this ridiculous rivalry to come to an end. I want everyone to be happy."

You fold your arms. Kouga reaches his arms out to you,"You know, Im more than willing to protect and cherish you."

You back up, and Kouga walks forward with an soft empathic smile. "W-What if I dont want to." You continue to back up, Kouga persistent, he continued in your direction. "We'll come to a conclusion, help me understand."

Your back hits the edge of the pond, Kouga stops in front of you. "Help you understand huh.."

You scoffed,"Understand this..I dislike you..." Kouga caged you against the pond wall, both hands on each side of you. "Is that so..do you..dislike me as a man? Or as a person?"

"Both..", you said unsure. Kouga's not dumb, he's far from it. He can read you like a book. He leans in, his face now in front of yours. "Tell me..what you dislike about me, and I'll fix it for you."

His gorgeous face a few inches away from yours. 'H-He's gotta be doing this on purpose', you think to yourself.

"I'm sick of you, and your pretty face. Your attractive body too. It's– Annoying." You admitted embarrassed. Kouga chuckles,"Oh..You want me to fix your attraction towards me?" He said with a large smile.

You stand there flustered not knowing what to say.. but definitely enticed by his lips as he was enticed by yours. "So?..Do you want to consider loving me someday? Or keep living in denial, hm?"

A finger under your chin, making you look at him; your arranged fiancé. His blue eyes look back into your orange eyes. "...You're really pushing for this huh?" You whisper as you gaze at his lips. Have they always looked so bite-able, so kiss-able like that?

"I am, if you let me. I will give everything you want and more." Kouga looked down at you with a gentle smile, his k-9's peaking past his lips. Kouga leans in, still using his finger to keep your eyes on him.

Your dark cheeks tented a slight red, you shut your eyes closed tight. Expecting to be kissed by Kouga. Though when you felt nothing you opened one eye looking back at him confused. Both eyes opened, batting your eyelashes at him. "I thought you were.."

"Hm? Gonna kiss you?"

You nod, this making Koga smile. Maybe he was getting some progress from you. "You mean you want me to kiss you?" Feeling bashful you nod just a tiny bit, realizing what you'd just admitted to wanting to kiss him. Once again, it was obvious you were attracted to Koga. Even to him, he could see it from a mile away.

"Thats..not what I ment to say–"

Koga smirks,"Then what?~ hm..I'll kiss you, if you want me too."

You scowl,"I did but no! You're pissing me off. If you haven't realized, this is inappropriate! We've been so close together, naked in this springs and now you're trying to get me to admit I want to ki-"

You went silent, with a pair of lips pressed to yours. Your hand instinctively going to his shoulder, as Koga pulls you in close. You sighed into his lips, finally giving in to some sort of affection from him. Koga pulls away, leaving you a breathless, heart-fluttery mess.. "See what happens when we come to an agreement and talk like adults?"

"Shut up..", you rolled your eyes, tugging at his arm. He took your subtle hint.

Koga smiles, leaning close,"Yes ma'am". Once again kissing you, and you gladly kissed back. Letting him lead, you followed his fluid like motions. Your eyes closing, pulling him in close and him doing the same.

Giving into to Koga felt wonderful. Being able to melt into his touch..could I feel like this all the time Im with him? His left hand on your waist and right on your cheek. Your hands on his chest, the both of you fit together like a steamy puzzle piece. When it seemed like the two of you were about to get carried away–

"Koga! Koga! We've got some trouble with the Northern Wolf Demon tribe."

Another voice,"Hey Sis!"

You yelp as you pull away, mid kiss– hiding behind Koga. "Ginta? Hakkaku?" You peak from Kouga's shoulder. The wolf demon with a spikey white mohawk spoke,"Wow! You're finally getting along?"

You visibly flustered,"We are Not!" You scowled. Hakkaku tilts his head in confusion,"Really? Because to me it looked like the two of you were a bout to-

Koga clears his throat, interruption Hakkaku. "E-Enough...now you two can head that way..I'll be right behind you."

The boys nod then take off. Hakkaku waves,"Bye sis! Glad to see you're finally coming along!"

Your eye twitches,"Don't call me that–"

Koga smiles,"You should probably stop denying it." You stare at him blankly, and scoff. Kouga gets out of the pond, shaking off what water he can before putting his clothes back on.

He smiles brightly at you,"Its okay, I know you love me. Its only a matter of time before you accept it, and when you do. I'll be waiting."

You fold your arms, embarrassed you look away. "As if! go run off to your tribe." Kouga, fixes his last clothing needed. "I'll catch you later, okay? Next time we meet I'll be sure to do something sweet for you!" He says starting his light jog.

"Stop being so nice to me!" You shout as he gets farther and farther away.

You hear a light laughter from his direction. "Just trying to help you chose beautiful ♡!" He shouts from what now is a cyclone zipping away.

....You sit in the pond..shivering..

"Sheesh. Some fiancé...he could've helped me wash my hair before he left...", you mumble. Smiling to yourself as you place your fingers on your lips..

.."I cant stand him ♡"

Written and posted on Nov 8/23

[the-kipsabian]

for the fanfic asks: 1, 8, 13, 20, 23, 25, 29, 43, 46, 72, 79 💚

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike? most fics come to me in forms of dreaming while im trying to sleep, so yes. the one good thing about insomnia currently is that i get to rotate so many blorbos and scenarios in my head that i have a lot of content to write lol

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip. i have like. one current wip in docs that i might work on again at some point so here. technically its not a spoiler since its the whole premise of the fic buuuut

13. Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently? pretty much always? i focus better when i have matching vibes, unless im having a sensory moment but usually then i cant really write either honestly. "puppet master" is my current playlist on loop, its just my two kip playlists combined into one to fit the mood of immortal fears lol

20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics? pretty much all my stuff in canon divergent on some level honestly, so i guess aus? not in a very obvious sense of aus but yeah. tho i do love me some extra sad aus too, post apocalyptic aus my beloved.....

23. Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest? middle part is the easiest, ending is the hardest cause i either never know when to end a story or how to end a story like. i want to have that final impact and sometimes its so hard to pinpoint where that should be. middle is just a good flow usually if i get that far and thats where all the good ideas usually happen so its my favorite <3

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)? probably the writing itself. like i can have a shit ton of good, even great ideas while brainstorming or outlining things, but usually the biggest things happen while im actually putting the words down. i really enjoy it when the story just flows and how it comes together. also i have discovered i absolutely loathe the editing part LOL

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of? personally i think i can bring emotions to life really well. be it happy or sad (mostly sad tho i love my sad depressed uncomfortable bitches), i feel like i have the words for them that fit

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet? hmmmmm i dont really know? i mean i have plenty of ideas sitting in my drafts and in my brain and stuff, but i dont really think i have a lot that i absolutely NEED to write. maybe that one bunnelope fic i wanted to do about a love potion gone wrong cause girls need to be gay or something

46. If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be? once again - post apocalyptic au my beloved. anything that takes place "after the world ends" in one way or another is my shit. gimme all the post apocalyptic hell i crave for

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten? basically every time someone says i nailed a character im writing for the first time. cause i take a lot of pride and put in the effort to try to give them each their own voice and i study my materials and yeah. ..hence also why im so hesitant so often to write about new people cause i am a perfectionist when it comes to characterization especially ajksdnkjasd

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share? this we discovered last week to be a really functional advice so: if you dont know how to start writing a scene, put someone in a room. make them enter a space, and start from there - why are they there, who else is there, what is their purpose in that space, what is that space?

also first drafts dont need to be perfect, everything can be edited in post, even after you post the thing if youre planning on doing so. hell some published novels have typos in them, let alone nonsensical writing and storylines. you dont need to be perfect, as long as you are writing

and obviously you are your own audience first and foremost. write for yourself yo fuck the rest (unless the rest are into it too then thats great but you should still write for yourself first and consider everything else second lol)

fanfic writing asks ~

[mellohidisc]

╰ ☆ ╮𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 - discord au ✰⋆

1.2k 𝚠𝚘���𝚍𝚜 | 𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎, 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: "𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘦, 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘐 𝘢𝘮." // "𝘓𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘣𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘳."

𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖘: 5/5 𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘴 || 𝘺/𝘯 & 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱

I plopped my bag on my unmade and definitely in need of a wash bedsheets. I looked down on it, scrunching my nose seeing blemish marks upon my white sheets. Don’t ask me what it is, maybe dirt? Marker? Maybe the last drops of a monster energy drink that I chucked across my room into the garbage can. I’m not too sure what exactly it is to be quite honest. I’ve been so busy and tired, and the state of my bedroom defiantly showed it. University is hard, especially when it isn’t your only responsibility. With all the homework, my job and trying to keep my long-distance relationship above water it is especially hard.

But for once, the world was on my side. It was the weekend, I didnt have work and nothing due soon for school. I could get a rest, fucking finally. I walked my self over to my desk, and sat down in the chair. Unlike George and his streamer friends with these super expensive duel monitor and pc set up bullshit, I just had my laptop, and fuck Dream for making fun of me for it. I unfolded it, pressing the power on button. I watched as it slowly booted up.

Okay, maybe Dream is right but still fuck him.

I refuse to give that man the satisfaction of saying "I told you so." After waiting for a few to let it boot up all the way, I clicked through onto discord.

sex havers and y/n.

fucking idiots, all five of them.

looking over to the voice channels i saw them all in vc 2. I pondered, and questioned if I was mentally stable enough to listen to karl and quackity scream into my ear. I knew the answer was no but...oh, my finger slipped.

"y/n!" karl yelped with excitement. I felt a second wind rip through my body. that was the effect these boys had on you, if you think you're tired you're actually not.

"hi george." i said brightly, knowing it would offend karl greatly.

"hi hun." he said shortly, taking me off guard. i could hear him slamming on his keyboard.

"what are you playing?" i asked, going to click on his discord profile to find out.

"phasmaphobia, come save me from karl. he's been screaming the whole time in the lobby."

"hell no babe, you're on your own im sorry."

"for once, i agree with them." dream chimed in, making me roll my eyes and make a fake gagging noise at him.

dream has one of the kindest hearts i know of. we just fucked around with each other, but we could never seriously hate each other. he was like a brother to me, and no not one of those weird fucked up "i have a crush on my boyfriends best friend" things, but just a genuine great friend.

my thoughts we're interrupted by a loud scream from sapnap, and quackity and karl yelling run. I winced, smashing the volume down button on my laptop.

"alright nope! no no im done! i am closing the game." george said frantically, you laughed as you watched his discord status change.

"awe did the ghostie boy scare you?" i tease gently, testing the waters. with george sometimes, i could never tell when the teasing would be too much.

before he could anwser, i saw karls face appear on my computer screen making me giggle. he had the camera zoomed all the way into his face, staring dead into the camera.

"george..." he growled lowly, making you laugh.

"yes karl?" george asked innocently.

"SCREW YOU!"

the whole call bursted into laughter, i watched my screen go from only karl to karl and quackity.

oh dear god...

anytime alex has his camera on we knew we were in for it.

i watched quackity as he grabbed a stuffed pillow from behind him, and a pair of scissors off his desk.

"george listen- listen to me. this pillow-" he waved it in front of the camera.

"this is you. now this is a pair of scissors." he proceeded to wave them in front of the camera also.

"now george, i want you to turn your camera on for me."

george groaned in protest.

"why-"

"SHUT UP AND DO IT!" quackity yelled, i whined at him to shut the hell up.

I watched the screen grow again into three cameras on, butterflies filling my stomach as I saw george's smile. sometimes it just feels so surreal to me, how he gave me the time of the day really. when I first meet him he didn't seem like the type to date anyone, and if he did he would have been the type to forget he was dating someone and not answer for days.

yet he proved me wrong.

being with george has been one of the best relationships i've been in. he was kind and caring, and yeah he had a hard times being comforting but he showed his compassion in other ways. whether it be a meme he made himself to make me laugh, or a something as small as sending me a cat video link.

"y/n! turn on your camera." sapnap demanded, making you frown your brows.

"what! why? since when did you have yours on sap?"

"well if you weren't day dreaming ab mr gog mister over here you would have saw me put it on."

I rolled your eyes. I scanned my bedroom and made a face. It is a fucking mess in here.

"okay but dream doesn't have his on." i point out, knowing that wasn't going to help me.

"yeah thats because its dream." karl retorted.

"turn it on."

"turn it on."

"turn it on."

The four of them stared to chant, as dream laughed in the background.

"I fucking hate you guys." I groaned, hitting the camera button on discord.

Quackity placed the bear and scissors down, standing up out of his seat to lean closer to the computer screen.

"holy shit y/n! did a hurricane come through your room or something?" he laughed, half jokingly.

the boys knew they couldn't genuinely say shit, after all they are boys.

"oh fuck off. i would love to see your bedroom."

"i guess this makes me the organized one in the relationship." george says proudly, gleaming with joy.

the boys and i laughed at him, watching his mouth slowly open wide and a look of disbelief spreading across his face.

"what! why are you laughing?"

"george, you and i both know you are the least organized person in the world." dream told him.

i giggled watching georges reactions to their comments. his mannerisms were apart of his humor, the hand gestures and the facial expressions.

"no okay no guys please. listen-"

"guys pleaseeee" sapnap whinned mockingly, sending us all into laughter.

"screw off! babe tell them how organized i am!" he yelled through a laugh.

my eyes widened, fuck. you tried quickly to think of a lie to make him look stupid but good at the same time.

"last night he ate his fruit loops by color." i said, nodding trying to sell it.

"HES FUCKING COLOR BLIND YOU LIAR!" dream yelled loudly.

i covered my mouth from laughing so hard. holy shit. thank god i dont have anything to do tomorrow its going to be a long night.

[blush-and-books]

"Julie!"

So, maybe Luke knew that he could always find Julie at 10pm on a school night making herself a sandwich before bed. It was probably one of her first routines he familiarized himself with -- but he sort of kept it quiet from the guys.

A big part of him wanted to protect this opportunity he had to be with Julie alone.

It's not like they did anything important. He would show her a song that they didn't get to earlier, or he would ask her about gigs or how her homework went after she left practice, and sometimes he just wanted to flirt annoy her.

Now that they could touch, however, things were different.

Being a nuisance was both harder but more fun now that she could lay a hand on his chest and push him away. Sometimes he would get particularly close, just to feel her; even if she did retract herself after.

Tonight was one of those nights where all he wanted to do was keep her close.

Julie, on the other hand, was losing herself in the dreams of perfect smiles and soft brown hair and was desperate to reel it in. She needed self control, even if his presence was welcomed no matter what.

Shaking her head at his outburst of joy in her name, she quickly turned her head away from him -- he doesn't know why -- and made her way to the fridge.

"So, did you get your homework done?"

He always asks her this when he has something he's eager to show her.

"Yes, but I'm exhausted, so I'm really not in the mood to write more-"

She spins around from the refrigerator door, closing it in the process. At the same time, Luke poofs right behind her -- closer than estimated, but that's probably his body's own desperation to be near her -- and when she turns to walk back to the counter, she swiftly collides with his chest.

She almost trips and falls, but he anticipates a stunt in her balance and loops his arms around her waist to hold her upright.

Julie flinches when they make contact, and he wonders how that could be related at all to her pounding heartbeat that he can feel against his chest. Meanwhile, she's realizing this is the exact event that she needed to be avoiding.

"Sorry about that," he murmurs, bashfully. Even though he feels like shifting his eyes, Julie Molina is right in front of him, and he couldn't look away from her if he tried.

Her fingers trail up to poke against his upper arms -- and indicator to let her go. "It's okay."

His arms feel like lead as they drag away from her body, but then, as he's retracting, his fingers accidentally hook onto her sweatshirt at her hips and god he really doesn't want to let go.

Maybe she'll let him hold onto her, let herself feel wanted, for longer than a brief moment.

Julie's hands have slid down from his biceps and slipped to his forearms as they stand, with an awkward distance between them, making the debate on whether or not to eliminate every centimeter or quickly stand on the opposite ends of a football field.

Once again, it's Julie that makes the first move to pull away. But Luke's fingers stay latched into her soft sweatshirt until she is back at the counter, finishing her peanut butter sandwich.

"Did you have anything to show me, maybe?"

Push him away, but don't let him leave. Not having him at all would be worse than having him at a distance.

He can't decipher her tone.

"You said you weren't in the mood to-"

"Well, If you have something, I'd like to see it."

Luke can't help it -- he bounces excitedly on the balls of his feet and walks over to her. The glee rolls from every inch of his skin in waves that lull over Julie as she tries to focus on constructing herself a sandwich.

The only thought on Luke's mind: Time to test those boundaries.

His left arm drapes snuggly over her shoulders and practically loops full circle in front of her neck and chest, while his head lands on her shoulder and his right hand is extended to hold out the song.

If Julie leans into him, he tries not to let his smile grow too much. And she tries to tell herself that he's the one who pulled her in.

"The songs we write will live in history even if thats all I become to you," she recites the words from the page. Every word came out slowly as she processed it -- who was was this about? "When did you write this?"

With a blush, he tucks his face farther into her hair.

"Work in progress for a while. Got a handle on it when you were doing homework today."

Something tells Julie that this song was written about her. And, in that context, her heart breaks -- how could Luke ever think that he'll just be a page in the book of her life? Just a fragment of history that's tucked away as a lesson learned, a mistake from the past, only to be thought of on the occasion she's reminded?

These thoughts whirl in her head for an expansion of a few seconds.

Her silence stretches farther than he expects. Now, the concern that he's seriously crossed a line is creeping up, and as he lowers his right arm he is rapidly planning his exit.

His left hand flexes against her right shoulder. He's about to leave, when-

The knife spreading her peanut butter clatters against her plate as she puts it down, shifts to turn around underneath him, and slides her arms around his waist to pull herself into his chest.

With his hand coming up to cradle the back of her neck, and the other arm wrapped tight around her waist, he begins moving the hand against her back in a fluid up-and-down motion.

"You okay, Boss?"

A shaky breath hits the thin fabric of his t-shirt. "Just... Stay here for a little. Hold me. Please."

He thought she'd never ask.

--

Blame @lydias--stiles and @bluefirewrites for getting me on Juke Kitchen Fluff????

[thehopeelias]

More tutb art? Big shocker 🤣🤣

@maybemayura read the first half of tutb for her first time recently so I felt like I got to relive some of my favorite parts! One chapter that I ended up going on and on about was chapter 22 when Nathalie tried to leave. I realized just how much I loved this chapter and thought I’d share some of my analysis from it!

Before you keep reading, there’s obviously huge spoilers here so if you haven’t read Throwing Up These Butterflies by @mymayura then go do that first!!

The main thing that gets me is when she couldnt zip up her sweater bc she was getting so much bigger! its such a small detail but mm was able to make me feel so hard with nathalie’s inability to ZIP HER SWEATER. like there she was trying to leave the man she feels she is burdening and ruining his life. she wants to be capaple of at least sparing him her troubles. and she cant even zip her freaking coat because of HER mistake. HER stupid wish that caused all these problems to begin with. but how can she be mad at her stomach? she WISHED for it! she wants it more than anything! thats why the wish happened. its her deepest desire and the very reason she is leaving and the very reason she cant. zip. her freakin. sweater. its this endless loop of emotions that happen in such a meaningless task.

ive reread it quite a few times 🙈 and have focused on each of their sides during the scene. i love the complexity of nathalie’s side the most from that scene because of the overwhelming amount of emotions she is facing from all angles. she’s hating the man she loves on top of ALL of that. but gabriel’s side is incredible too! and reading it from his side, he is so desperate to keep her because he WANTS her. but he is SO afraid of losing her. she is walking out of the door because of HIM and if he pushes or does something wrong, the fear of her and his child dying is on the brig. not the right word but just right there. all he can think about. this scene was so pivotal because it became too much for gabriel. the fear of losing her from his house and losing her from his life just pushed him over the edge. in ch 23, when fu left and Gabriel was sobbing at her side. he was sobbing because this scene pushed him to it. all that emotion, the intensity, SO GOOD

So those are my general thoughts 😆 If you don’t want to read my line by line (nearly) analysis then yall can keep scrolling 🤣

~~~~~~~~

Gabriel running two steps at a time down the stairs. ive already mentioned his desperation to stop her but BRUH!!! and when he gets between her and the door! i can just picture nathalie glaring at him in frustration while he basically spreads his arms across the door keeping her from leaving.

Then him trying to stop her for “her own safety” as he claims, pisses her off because she thinks he’s lying! and not just lying but lying about having an ounce of care for her! she’s convinced she’s a burden and that he would be better off without her. to hear him lie about caring for her well-being just seems like he is mocking her. a glance at what she wants but thinks can never achieve.

when she calls him cruel. i know she means it but man that hurts. even now she still loves him and still wants his love but she thinks he’s humiliating her and trapping her and just being awful. seeing someone you love in a “cruel” way like this, hurts.

“She got your personal number?” “Yes, somehow. I wonder who could have given it to her.”

sarcastic witty nathalie still shines strong in such an emotional scene like this and i love it.

‘Nathalie, it’s not what you think.” She laughs bitterly. “Of course it’s not. Look, sir, I couldn’t care less about the implied infidelity as we’re not together”

THE SIR WAS ITALICIZED (i think... i read it that way at least) and if i remember right in ch 20, gabriel made it a point for her to call him ‘Gabriel’ as he is the father of her child now. but she SPECIFICALLY calls him sir here. she’s just like ‘lets cut the facade, the fantasy, the bs dream, and remember how this relationship works. ur my boss and thats all this is ever going to be” which im sure stung gabriel a lot seeing how he doesnt want her to think of him as ‘sir’

THE DATES!!! ok it was like a super dumb idea by gabriel but “good intentions with horrible actions” is kind of his thing 🤣 its so sweet tho thinking he was doing that to try and protect her! i also liked in another chapter he admitted to himself he felt bad for leading some of the women on. he was really using them but he still had that empathy and i thought that was actually sweet. Gabriel might be an idiot but he can still be sweet 🤣 back to the point, can u IMAGINE nathalie’s reaction to seeing those pictures? gabriel JUST found out she’s pregnant with his kid and she feels horrible about it. he’s never moved on from emilie and she never thinks he will. she loves his devotion to emilie afterall. so seeing the pictures, not only was it hard to see him with other women but also hard to accept that he CAN move on and HAS moved on. not only has he not moved on with her but he didnt even take his unborn child into consideration. Not to mention, Victoire telling Nathalie to leave and spare gabriel of her burdens just confirmed everything she had been dreading, crying, and fearing for 5 months.

oo oo i loved how gabriel said “You’ve had to deal with her before.” something i love about gabenath is that they have so much chemistry. YEARS and YEARS of chemistry. and u can see that here. Gabriel points it out cuz nathalie really has been apart of his life long enough to know victoire’s a snake.

Super small but: ‘Nathalie winces. “She paid a visit to the house.”’

I can visualize that wince SO much. the pieces are coming together and she’s starting to feel awful about assuming the worst.

‘“Exactly. Adrien and I have been trying for weeks to get her off our backs. We thought — I thought that...’

I love that he was about to have adrien share the blame but was like NOPE! this is all on me. im dumb and my son is wise. 🤣

she asks if the dates weren’t real. again with the dates. pretty much the biggest issue here. the unspoken conversation happening between them, we the audience can hear so loudly. yes she asked that, and she’d never assume he would be loyal to her in that way but we KNOW she wants that. we know that she doesnt truly want him with another woman. Gabriel denying it but also wanting to yell OF COURSE NOT BC IM IN LOVE WITH YOU! its just such a cool thing.

They FINALLY break the tension and “somewhat” resolve the tension. i feel like gabriel had ONE sigh of relief and then Nathalie’s coughing got out of hand and the tensity instantly explodes again. he was already blaming himself for causing her to be upset and now she might die because of it. like AGH SO GOOD!

And that’s the end of my analysis for the section in ch 22 😂

[marigoldmoonn]

[17:02] you were lost. utterly lost. not literally, of course—you were standing in the middle of a park, in the neighbourhood in which you lived. you knew exactly where you where physically. but mentally? emotionally? that was a whole different story.

the month hadn't started—or finished—great. first, you forgot to pay your rent (definitely not the first time that happened, resulting in yet another warning from your landlord). then, you lost your job at the cafe just downtown. and just as a cherry on the top, when your landlord found out about this, he decided to give you a mere day to move out.

so yeah, it was safe to say that you weren't feeling too great.

it had dawned on you pretty quickly; you had no job, very little money, and no where to live. you'd managed to move most of your stuff into a storage locker, save for the bag you held in one hand, which contained your essentials.

after that, all you could do was stand in the middle of the park, lost.

sighing, you scrolled through your contacts once more. you'd tried every one of them, and every failure had hurt more than the last. your friends supposedly couldn't afford to let you stay the night, and your parents hadn't even picked up—it didn't seem like anyone cared.

you didn't know anyone in the city. at least, you didn't think you did. over the past few hours, you'd racked your brain for ideas, but nothing ever came. no one ever came.

lost.

as you dialled your dad's number once again, you prayed to every higher entity you could think of that he would pick up that time. he had always been supportive of you moving to the city rather than staying in your quaint, modest town. at least, more so than your mum had been. if anyone was going to finally pick up, it was him.

your pounding heartbeat and the shrill tone that rung in your ear melded together to form a familiar melody; one dissimilar from a lullaby, as it darted you awake and compelled you to pay attention to everything around you—the dog barking nearby; the clouds slowly rolling in; the raindrop that hit your cheek.

you cursed to yourself. the phone continued to ring as you rushed for shelter beneath a tree. you lowered yourself onto a bench, grateful that it hid you from the heavens' relentless wrath.

"come on, come on," you whispered. you'd do anything just to hear someone familiar's voice. anything to feel less alone.

"y/n?"

you gasped, wiping your watering eyes. he had answered your call! his voice sounded strangely high-pitched, but you figured that it was just because you hadn't spoken to him in a while.

"y/n," he repeated.

"dad?"

"not exactly."

wait, what is he talking about? you thought. and why does it sound like he's getting closer?

just as you were about to reply, a finger tapped at your shoulder. you peered up to see a boy, around your age, standing at your side. for a second, you wondered if you recognised him from somewhere, but you couldn't immediately place it. "yes?" you sighed. you really didn't need a stranger bothering you, not when you were already beyond stressed.

"y/n? you don't remember me?"

something clicked. you pulled the phone away from your ear and stared at it. a black screen stared back, displaying nothing but your reflection. he hadn't picked up. the boy next to you had been the one calling your name.

speaking of which...

"chan?"

the boy grinned bashfully. "thats me." he breathed out a puff of air. "i thought you forgot about me for a second." he pointed to the bench. "can i sit?"

you nodded, then shuffled over. chan sat beside you. "i-i'm sorry," you stuttered. "i'm just stressed. you live here? i thought you moved to incheon."

"i did, but i came here 7 years ago."

7 years. that was a lot longer time than you had been there. from what you could observe, chan seemed to have his whole life worked out. he looked happy and healthy—tired perhaps, but good nevertheless. you almost couldn't believe that this was the boy you had been friends with when you were a kid.

he was older (obviously), taller, more built, had longer, dyed hair. you couldn't deny that he had grown into his looks. the scruffy, silly boy you remembered had become a handsome, mature man. it was weird.

you switched your phone off and stuffed it into your pocket. "you seem to be doing well for yourself."

"well," chan laughed, "i've got a long way to go, but i'm doing what i always wanted to. so yeah, it's good."

"music?"

he nodded. "music producing. hopefully-" he held up crossed fingers. "-i'll get big soon."

this was the chan you remembered. always so sure of his dream, always so determined to achieve it, always so successful. you were happy for him, but it reminded you of your own failures. you had no dream. you had no determination. you had no success.

your throat tightened as you fought to keep your tears at bay. "thats great," you choked out, forcing a smile.

but just as chan always had done, he saw right through your facade.

"hey, whats wrong?" he asked, looping an arm around you as the teardrops rolled down your cheeks. he pulled you close, allowing you to sob into the material of his coat.

the two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, until chan lifted your head up to face him. "what's happened?"

you began to ramble at him between cries, spilling your feelings out in fast, mostly-incoherent words. nevertheless, he listened, nodding occasionally to show that he understood. once you were finished, he looked almost as distressed as you felt. "so... no one picked up or was willing to help? not even your family?"

you shook your head. chan scowled. "that's ridiculous. they should be there for you!"

all you could do was shrug. you didn't know what to say. maybe you were just a horrible person. maybe no one really loved you. maybe you really were alone.

chan took ahold of your hand. "hey," he prompted, keening his head forward to meet your eyes. "i'm here for you. you can stay at my place until you find one of your own."

you let out a breathy laugh. "chan, we haven't seen each other in 10 years. you can get on with your life, chase your dreams and all that."

"exactly!" he exclaimed, catching you off guard. "10 years apart, and when you're most in need, we're brought back together."

chuckling, you rolled your eyes. "so... you're saying you're my saviour?"

he nodded, grinning. the dimples in his cheeks appeared, almost like a secret weapon. then, he jumped up from his seat. he bowed down slightly, and held a hand out. "may i escort you home, my damsel in distress?"

how could you say no?

[thehopefulsnowflake]

And again here are more theories and opinions about the magnus archives from my brother

The corruption is one of the "four horsemen"

War and conquest are the military ghosts, and the desolation

Famine and pestilence is the buggy bois

Death is the end, duh

The corruption is colonisation basically

Elias is against having a cat, because they are too powerful, he was very serious about this

Centipedes have a masochistic foot fetish, millipedes have a normal one, don't ask

The woman in Dead Woman Walking is just a Zombie

Is the Woman a victim of the Book of Death from MAG 70

Georgie is a ghosty hunty person

Georgie and Melanie don't seem to be afraid of anything

The Italian mountain troops would have known they were being fucked with

More undead

Reminded him sort of the Meat Men

Also reminded him of the buried on the London underground

The mysterious firing squad intrigued him, did all the men that went up the mountain come back to kill him?

Basira is Drax from gotg

She'll randomly appear and no one will know she's there until she speaks

The chuckle brothers origin story, he means Breekon and Hope

Didn't think the circus had anything to do with the stranger

Breekon and Hope are taxidermy

So they're with the stranger

The Stranger is just everything that doesn't fall under something else

The circus was it's own thing

The cult of the lightless flame is it's own thing

The people's Church of the devine host is it's own thing

The circus is just full of people who you don't know, if you do know them that's sad... He was kinda rambling at this point

Is Sarah Baldwin capable of being bored

Why was she working with Melanie?

Do you just take a liking to ghost people

Did you take them over before of after they were eaten.

The Buried is called The London underground

Is it the Fairchild's? Thinks they're about isolation

Thinks it might be a book

The pit could be an Antlion

Thought that the young woman who was eaten by the pit turned into Gertrude

The young man could be, Gerry, Martin, Salesa, young Jon, Elias.

Thinks The stranger is vanilla in terms of gods and monsters.

The stranger is the least interesting.

Thinks all the Stranger wants to do is just summon a god

For some reason he thinks the Dark should be doing more to stop them, because Rayner wouldn't want that to happen

Martin will rap battle the archive to victory, via poetry from Leitners books

The stranger could just be Lego

He's horny for Rayner, his words not mine

Mr. Sandman brought him a dream

Thinks that the Dark at least can get to their gods dimension but choose not to.

If you make everywhere dark does their god appear?

He asked what would happen if two factions tried to summon their god at the same time what would happen

Thinks that all the Avatars /Entities do the same thing.

Breekon and hope have never killed anyone

Maxwell Rayner is a time travelling shadow demon

Mr sandman is like an angry sandy from Rotg

He made this episode unnecessarily kinky

They're just summoning gods

The stranger is remarkably being left alone

Thinks there is no fighting between factions

If anything they're aided

Is the Fairchild's entity already here

Are they working with the other factions

Says he knows whats going to happen because he "knows how these things go"

The Beholding is already on this side and if another God is summoned then it will be booted

Elias killed Gertrude because she was trying to defeat the Beholding and if it was defeated he would turn into the same thing as below the Library in Alexandria

There were three versions of the unknowing that he thought of

Destroying the concept of identity, the unknowing destroys the concept of personality, individuality, and identity. Turning them into Stranger worshipping entities

The angler fish was the thing in the basement at the Taxidermy shop

Stranger just means it couldn't get any stranger

Or it's deliberate parodies of humans

Breekon and Hope were normal people

Salesa, the chuckle brothers, the meat man, the skin walkers, the taxidermist, the manquien, Not-Sasha, the architects, the circus and to some extent the witches are part of the stranger

Magnus is a stranger that took over Elias

He also thinks Elias is just Magnus who found out how to stick around for a while

But Elias isn't the archive god like he first thought

The twisted detergent is Michael's new entity

Michael is like Loki if he didn't have a brother

The stranger is the big bad

Jon is an idiot, he's a bit slow

His second theory for the unknowing is that It's just going to destroy all knowledge revolving the Elder gods, hence the unknowing, the one he thought the least likely

And third, It somehow increases their powers so that the few people that would recognise them, no longer do. Levelling up in short. Thinks it would work for every entity

Doesn't think The Unknowing would be that big of a shift

The circus and the stranger were different because the Circus dealt with the "Freak show"

Thinks Rayner isn't dead

Dust devils

Dirt zombies

Has only made the connection between the Underground, the pit and the dust storm

Was the kid in the car Michael

Was Michael always the Spiral but just really liked working with Gertrude

Michael is the Spiral, he doesn't worship anything

Elias took Gertrude from him, now he's after revenge

Jon should go chill with everyone at the Archive

Jon should have a sword

While you were busy not having a paranoid breakdown I studied the blade

Michael has a crush on Gertrude

He has a granny kink, he is obsessed with making it all kink related

Michael originally gave his powers away to be with Gertrude

Michael took on this form because he could blend in or brag

He's a monster with a thing for Gertrude

Michael wasn't the same Michael as in the tape

Just trying to trick everyone

Lynne Hammond was lying, goes in line with the church of the lightless flame but it didn't happen

Maybe she heard something similar but it didn't actually happen to her, she was just trying to get some money

He actually feels bad for Tim

Tim should run

John Smith was half telling the truth.

People are in the tunnel's but it's not a government conspiracy

Tim doesn't deserve this

You can tell Basira is used to dealing with idiots

Liked that it cut out when Robin Lennox said let me start again, it's like the archive was trying to make it stop

Thinks the archive doesn't care what is being read to it, someone should read it the Lord of the Ringd

The archive is recording the tape recorders not Elias

Get the dog out

Michael was the crying man, he wanted the dog out

He doesn't want to hurt the dog

"Gertrude why did you leave me? I'll get you one day Elias" based on his Michael granny kink theory

Brian Finlinson was the most coherent in terms of links

Thinks that the spiders were actually there, hiding whenever anyone came around

Lynne is lying, John Smith is half telling the truth, Robin Lennox saw Michael having a breakdown, Brian Finlinson was telling the truth

He didn't remember Peter Lukas ever being mentioned before

Already shipping Peter and Elias

Michael is very sensitive

The Fairchild's and the Lukas' are working together

They don't seem to have an interest in the conflict going on between everyone else

The Fairchild's were in aerospace and Lukas was the ships

Still cthulhu

Even space had a cthulhu vibe

The depth of the ocean or the isolation of space

The Lukas and the archive are working together

There are some of these guys that don't want the entities on this side

Likes the power, doesn't want the full on entities here

The Lukas and the Fairchild's are the cthulhus

They're somewhat working with the archive/the beholding

Is Elias actually a Lukas? Decided yes because he and Peter are married

How much do the Lukas have to do with the Beholding

What sort of arrangement do they have?

Nikola was supposed to be part of the circus but there is a difference between the facimalies and the circus

Thinks that the archive burning down would have no downsides for the Beholding.

They'll summon a god and gazing upon it will kill everyone, everyone dies.

As he was now halfway through the series he explained who he thought was in each of these factions

The beholding, Elias, Martin, Tim, basira, daisy, sims, melanie, sasha, Rosie, Gertrude, leitner. Sasha is caught in a time loop...

The stranger, everyone, has no limits, The maniquein, the taxidermy, the circus, skin walkers, grifters bone, breekon and Hope,  angler fish

The desolation, the cult of the lightless flame, Jims pims aka Jude Perry, Agnes,

People's Church of the divine host, Rayner, Rayner have something to do with the German crypt, Rayner Is also not dead

The diggy boys, the buried, Maggie and Gordon from the dump, dig dude from Dig, whatever was going on with the pit, and the dust storm.

Meat, no recurring. The haans that's it.

Buggy boys, spiders, Jane prentiss

Michael, the twisting deceit, the twisting deceit just is Michael, didn't exist before him

The leitners, the witches are using the books, Gérard, Mike crew,

Cthulhu collective, the lukas', the Fairchild's. Both are just isolation, the Fairchild's are all about being alone, the only time the Lukas have turned up are being alone either in space or at sea

The witches, Mary Keay, puzzle witch, have big crossover with the Leitners, they just have some of leitners books

Trevor is his own entity, is he part of the desease and corruption group

The architects, smirke, smirkes apprentice.

Jared is his own thing. Just found a self help book

It's a giant celestial orgy!

Also Came up with a random spinoff comedy again

Slowly the archive collects strange people

Michael, who is mourning Gertrude... Loudly

They found a worm in the tunnel left over from Prentiss

The worm loves gooseberries

That's Elias, we're not sure what he is

Thats the Admiral, it is a cat.... It runs the place

Rayner is sat in the corner giggling

Leitner started a microbrewery in the basement

Serves bud leitner, you can't get leitner than this

[systematicmasspoisoning]

Traitor Tubbo

I've seen so many excellent theories as to who the traitor is and I would like to throw my hat into the ring. I see several possible options. Depending on how this is received, this could be part one of a few. Reminder, this is all speculation. I'm analyzing a character here, not the streamer themselves, and in reality no one, especially not these teens and 20-something role players, are genuinely intending to be malicious or calculated. This is a game. But they're playing it, and my heartstrings, so damn well.

My top theory for the traitor? Tubbo.

Traitor Tubbo is definitely a fan favorite, and I'm probably a bit biased. I watch his streams most often and perhaps am overthinking things. But here's my supporting evidence: I think Tubbo has the most motivation because it's been established that Tubbo is underapprecited and underestimated. He's assumed to a yes-man, Tommy's right hand man. Schlatt specifically made him Secretary of State because he knew it would be a kick in the gut to Tommy.

But everyone also knows that shit gets done when Tubbo is on the server. This kid is dedicated. Guess thats what quarantine does to a Minecrafter. He planned the fesitval, helped streamline Pogtopia's potatoes, is an expert in redstone, is draining the ocean and making allies with the Badlands (BBH, Awesamdude, Antfrost, a few others).

Jschlatt said in his speech at the Festival that Tubbo gets things done (only to kill the kid like 10 minutes later :sadface:) and Wilbur said, later, that the planned Manberg Hotel probably won't be built now that Tubbo is (supposedly) on Pogtopia's side. I see parallels to Eret's traitor arc: he was the deus ex machina who saved them in Season 1 from being arrested for drugs, built their walls overnight and was given little credit for it. Wilbur still says to this day, "The walls I built to protect us."

Underappreciation fuels betrayal on this server. And Eret was smart. Overpowered, almost, from all his grinding (some of which he did with Tubbo, for hours on end.) He knew the revolution was 'never meant to be,' that L'Manberg was the losing side. He betrayed for power and kingship. Tubbo has different motivations - he doesn't advocate for violence, so he's said, and he just wants people to get along. He doesn't want a war. So what might he do for peace?

We all know, if we watch old SMP Earth clips and his Among Us streams that he is big brained. He's sometimes malicious and mischievous when he wants to be, as attested by his recent stair pranks. So him being the peaceful, owo baby boi side character isn't necessarily fact. It's a bit. A role, along the lines of Tubee and Big Law. He's much more.

Speaking of the stair prank, so funny, but had the potential to be cruel, too. Anyways, he clearly said that he was watching Tommy's stream, and saw Tommy die to the stairs. Then he pops on the server later and acts clueless to what went down, though he knew, mentioned in his stream earlier that day, that something important was going to happen that day. He turns up while they're discussing traitors, is quick to take control of the conversation and point out that the traitor is likely Wilbur (for being 'technically' on Dream's side, the side of chaos.) Fuel is added to the flames of confusion and infighting.

Playing dumb is one of Tubbo's most popular bits. It farms awes, as Tommy says. People underestimate him and assume he has no reason to lie. Tommy so easily believed him when Tubbo said he had the discs. In the Dream Betrayal stream, Tommy confronts Dream about the location of the discs with Tubbo in the call. The misunderstanding is cleared up. They don't question Tubbo's earlier statements. They also don't question it when Tubbo mentions he has blackmail on Dream. I have no idea what that might be, we can speculate on that all day. But when it comes to the discs, I think Tubbo lost a bargaining chip there. His lie was very thin. But we know he's good at lying (when its actually important) and thinking quick on his feet so I feel like there must be some motivation behind it. I don't know how, but I think the discs will definitely play a part in the coming war.

That same stream, with Dream's betrayal, Wilbur even foreshadowed Traitor Tubbo. He was making a list of their allies on the wall in Pogtopia and, despite his chat screaming at him to include Tubbo, he leaves the kid off the list and dismisses chat's worries. I'm being a little dramatic here, but can you imagine Tubbo coming across that? Seeing himself, once again, left out of the loop, off the list of people they can trust, possibly considered unimportant now that he's filled his role as a spy and had his arc seemingly completed? Back to being a yes man, a footnote in L'manberg's history, the sidekick to the protagonist, a foil who is killed off to fuel the protagonists' need for revenge.

Except, in Minecraft, you don't really die. You're respawned. Tubbo didn't die when he was executed on the day of the festival; a celebration he planned, was proud of, so excited to take part of that he used a dyslexic font to write his speech.

Some notes about the festival.

1. His excitement. He was looking forward to it. I say let him be excited, that's not necessarily suspicious - he worked damn hard on it.

2. But, I have thought about his difficulty choosing a side. He showed interest in blowing up L'Manberg, but then turns on a dime when Tommy says it's bad, and then comes up with a diplomatic response of "I trust your better judgment, Wilbur " There was the added element of peer pressure from Wilbur and Tommy, granted, talking over him and assuming his viewpoint. He's not always a yes man, he stands up to himself with Tommy constantly, but the scene with him on the roof with Tommy and Wilbur shows how little he is kept in the loop. (Him understanding peer pressure likely led to him forgiving Techno so easily. But I also wonder, and others have too, if he forgave Techno.... too easily.)

3. This isn't so much of a point but something that keeps the writer in me up late at night. He was very grateful when Schlatt praised him, probably something he didn't hear often under Wilbur's rule.

4. He said the phrase. In spite of him not advocating for violence, he said the phrase that would trigger an explosion. The choice was in his hands. That is assuming he got Wilbur's DM telling him what to do, but Tubbo had been told by Wilbur to check his DMs and they had been exchanging whispers frequently throughout the stream, Tubbo taking orders from Wilbur to hurry things along. On that note, why a DM? Why didn't he give Tubbo the order through a whisper thru minecraft where we could see the wording? Likely because they use their DMs to push along major plot points and discuss serious matters. This wasn't just an order from Wilbur, the character, this was an order from the streamer who has the most role playing experience and has admitted to being the puppetmaster behind a lot of Tommy and Tubbo's major actions. Tubbo, who has always tried to advocate for peace, supposedly was told a trigger phrase that would blow the place up, and he said it. It was so out of character for him, that I was surprised, and Wilbur was surprised too, from how Tubbo scrambled. So, I don't know - did Tubbo know it was a trigger phrase? What did the DM say?

There was clearly a lot of miscommunication and weird things that day so all of this is speculation. However, from Tubbo' side of the stream, you can see the deliberation when he finished the speech. The pause. The silence, like he was finished, but then Schlatt reminded him (not the real quote) "Anything else?" And then. Tubbo took the leap. To us, the uninformed audience, it seemed he was willing, in that moment, to allow the chaos.

He was given a role of power, and it backfired on him so quick after, but I would like to rewind to the moment Wilbur decided to give Tubbo a deciding role. I knew Tubbo would be playing a big part this season, cause the boy deserves it, but Wilbur putting that decision in the hands of Tubbo? Wow. *Chef's kiss* Wil's reasoning was, if Tubbo wanted to prove he wasn't a yes man, he'd make the decision NOT to pull the trigger.

But Wilbur also said that Schlatt approved of the speech and would know if Tubbo deviated, putting Tubbo at risk of being caught. He was caught anyway, obviously, but there was a moment there... where Schlatt was giving Tubbo a choice, too. To say the phrase that would prove he was a traitor. Like...Schlatt knew what was planned, and wanted to see what Tubbo would decide. Maybe it was a trigger phrase for something else, not just the bombs.

Point is. Tubbo, technically, saved the day. He was, in physical form, the button. He was the deciding factor for great destruction. He said the phrase, but instead of Manberg being blown, Schlatt moved quickly to trap Tubbo and start a bit that would STOP WILBUR IN HIS TRACKS. The button was never fully pressed. Tubbo's Traitor/Spy Arc was halted, and a diverging plot formed, one where Tubbo is exiled too, trusted again by Pogtopia, and the land isn't blown to smithereens.

As Wilbur has said time and time again, when you introduce a weapon in a story, it has to go off at some point. Traitor Tubbo has been on our minds since the day he was left behind in Manberg and given a position, (once again, might I add, as a right hand man, a loyal lackey. Never the lead.) Has that arc met its completing? Did it go off with a bang?

One possible theory is that, well, no. This has all been premeditated. Not scripted fully, but I feel as though there are strings being pulled by a master who knows how to tell a story.

When he was asked to be a spy, Tubbo's position was nearly revealed time and time again but it was Schlatt who decided he was too bored to continue walking down the tunnels. It was Schlatt who easily accepted Tubbo's blatant lie that he was pregnant and allowed for so much betrayal under his nose.

What I'm saying here is that Schlatt is, in fanfic terms, soft for Tubbo. In a less fluffy way, what I'm suggesting (which has been suggested before) is that Tubbo wasn't a double agent. He was a triple agent.

I've read a lot of fucking books, and when you're a triple agent and one side is getting suspicious of you, what's the greatest length you can go to to prove your loyalty to someone? Die for them. Organize your execution. Throw yourself on top of a bomb.

But like I said. You don't die in Minecraft.

(While I'm on the subject, does anyone find it interesting how Tubbo focused on messaging only Wilbur while Technoblade was on stage, whispering 'i thought he woulded hurt me?' and the like. Wouldn't you, if you were being executed, contact your best friend to get you out of there? Or the clearly stalling 'ally' holding a crossbow to your head? But it wasn't Tommy or Techno that Tubbo needed to convince of his innocence. Its Wilbur who was sus of him.)

I digress. Tubbo didn't die, but he execution=exile and he's living full time with Pogtopia. He's proven his loyalty. When Tubbo is asked if he's a traitor, his best friend quickly jumps to his support and says, something to the effect of, "Schlatt killed him! He couldn't be a traitor!" Suspicion is thrown off him.

He wasn't even there when Dream revealed there was a traitor. He. Played. Dumb.

Meanwhile, streaming on his own, Tubbo is seeking out tridents and OP bows, working on Redstone traps, refusing to get netherite for Tommy, going so far as to trap his friend's house under the guise of a prank, and appearing in TeamSpeak calls to listen in while Tommy was mining gold with Dream (around the time Tommy was pressuring the green bastard to reveal who the traitor is.)

Tubbo has also been building a reputation as someone with bad wifi and a constantly crashing game, so he can conveniently leave situations and not help out when he doesn't wanna. Sidebar: I have to wonder if Tubbo will even stream the day of the war. Schlatt doesn't stream, and neither did the Dream Team when they were villains. It builds up tension and the audience wonders about their motivations. Granted, Eret did stream so his betrayal was a huge surprise, but recently Tubbo has, quite often, made a point of struggling with bad wifi and a game that seems to crash when he's not the one streaming. It wouldn't be too suspicious for him to claim technical difficulties so he can slide under the radar and not have snitches and stream snipers tracing his steps. This is a stretch, but it would be Big Brained to meta game the war.

I've watched a lot of Tubbo's streams lately. It's probably not healthy, and I'm probably connecting dots that aren't there.

But here is my prediction(s) for next week.

Dream said, jokingly, the traitor is Tommy. Despite Tommy's adamance, it may just be possible. He just doesn't know about it yet. Maybe Tubbo talks Tommy into betraying Wilbur. (Wilbur, specifically, and not necessarily their cause, which is not to be exiled and have a not-blown-up L'manberg.) Tommy has said he couldn't be the traitor because he wouldn't betray Tubbo (followed by "Wilbur, too...well...he is a little crazy lately" and you can hear Tubbo in the background making noises of agreement.)

But if betraying Tubbo was no longer a worry? I think, for Tubbo, and for the discs, Tommy would negotiate new terms with Dream. Another end to the war. Another peace treaty. Let's be real, once Tommy switches sides, Pogtopia will crumble. Him and Tubbo are the linchpins.

To continue, Dream supposedly has a contract with Schlatt, and in the stream today, he was leaving banners with a big red X on different properties, like in Tommy's house. Marking territory. He made a point of doing it while Tommy was streaming, following the kid around into the nether and giving shields with the giant red X to supposedly Pogtopian allies (Awesamdude, George.)

Wilbur told Quackity in the Dream Betrayal stream that he worries that Dream's deal with Schlatt is to rescind Manberg's independence. To give power back to Dream. To get Tommy's allyship, Dream may propose instating Tommy as president. Those are Wilbur's predictions. They're not far off the mark. Or maybe I'm just as paranoid as him lol.

I think Dream is trying to manipulate Tommy, but what will the terms be? Presidency? Or Freedom?

I'm not sure that Tommy wants to be president. He likes to play around and while he's shown he can be good at coordination and leadership, (for example, the recent MCC thing where he taught Quackity how to play and they kicked ass,) Wilbur is quite right. Tommy shouldn't be president. Narratively, we all know the server would become....chaos. Okay, that might be kind of fun and he's got good ideas.. I like the kid, and he's grown so much, but he's not "mature enough." Not like Tubbo is, according to Wilbur himself (this is referencing the Stays in The Pit battle). Dream has also said, in the eboy collaboration, that the only Dream SMP player in the video whose stood a chance was Tubbo.

Tubbo has said he doesn't want to be president either, but shit gets done when Tubbo is on. Nature is preserved, giant builds are coordinated, events planned (with cute little digital invites sent to players). The few times that Tubbo has shared his opinion about drama on the server (there's a moment before the Pit that he gives a good speech) he's shown sound logic, great empathy, a willingness to compromise, to have fun and strengthen their community.

There's an old saying, that those who seek power shouldn't have it, and those who don't want the power are the ones who deserve it. If peace wants to be preserved on the SMP, maybe Tubbo should be president, and Tommy should see what it's like to be the right hand man. Or maybe, they will simply run off to a distant jungle base and leave the war to the adults.

My point is, Tubbo is Chekov's gun. Tubbo is the button that hasn't been pushed yet. He may be the deciding factor to change the tide of the war, by changing Tommy's loyalties. Tubbo might not be fully loyal to Schlatt, I could be totally off about the triple agent thing, but he's certainly not loyal to Wilbur. To Dream? We'll have to see. From what we've been shown so far, his loyalty is to himself and to Tommy, and in the end, its usually him and Tommy against the world.

If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. It's fun to speculate. He's just a kid, a smart one granted, and he's having fun; he isn't evil. Unless Evil Tubbo is the next huge arc, the villain of Season 3???? God I would love that. Go feral kiddo.

There are other streamers who are equally over looked and unappreciated and have just as much motivation to be the traitor. Niki is a strong contender, have ya'll heard about the letter she wrote to a mysterious 'friend?' Or, or, what if Philza gets whitelisted? What if there's no shocking traitor at all, just Dream trying to cause division in Pogtopia? What if it's us, the viewers, who were the traitors all along for being dirty snitches? (@rainbowtransform, great theory.)

I'm sure I'll be surprised no matter what the outcome is. But nothing would please me more than to see Tubbo get the spotlight he deserves.

Let me know your thoughts?

[imagines-dreams]

Working at Jacobi’s and Falling for Race - Racetrack Higgins Headcanons

So you work at Jacobi’s Deli, and you see the newsies often

Sometimes, it’s just a handful, Jack and Dave and Les, but sometimes, they fill up the entire store

Race included

Race always flirted with you, alwayssss

He never stopped

Every single word out of his damn mouth was for flirting

And like every server, you just smiled, blushed, and did your job.

Still, you couldn’t help but develop a slight crush on him.

Which was stupid of course

He probably flirted with all the girls

Especially if he was flirting with a waitress he only saw once a week

But nah, that was not the case at all, man

Race was enamored the first time he saw you

He walked into Jacobi’s and couldn’t breathe the moment he saw you

And since then, he couldn’t find any other girl attractive

Sure there were pretty girls, but next to you??? Nothing. They were dull, meh compared to your beauty

So, Race stopped flirting with girls on the street and started flirting with you

He enjoyed seeing you blush and giggle and smile whenever he said something

“Thanks for the water, angel.”

“My day just got better! How are you doing?”

“Highlight of my day, getting some water from you.”

Oh god, the first time he heard you giggle, like Race already was head over heels, but like your laugh was just the killing blow

It was like the gates of heaven was opening up. Like, he thought he died, and as the gates opened up for him and the angelic choir wasn’t a choir of angels, it was you and your shy giggle

Honestly heaven

He didn’t want to ask you out though

He knew that he was putting you on a pedestal

Race knew he had to get to know you

Or at the very least, ask you out when you weren’t working

Cuz thats rude

So he just keeps flirting with you

So he can get that feeling of heaven when you laugh

Then, it becomes his goal to work harder to sell papes faster. Cuz the faster he sells papes, the faster he gets to see you.

He keeps his fingers crossed that one day he will be so early that you won’t be working, and he can actually talk to you instead of just telling you how beautiful you are

Ironically, the first time he finds you off work is when you’re closing the shop.

You were just leaving and locking the door when Race opened the door just as you did, out of breath and flushed from sprinting to get to you

The two of you were so close to each other, and you immediately apologized and stepped away from him.

While Race smiled, even though his cheeks were burning from happiness, embarrassment, and just so many emotions.

“Hey,” he said in such a soft voice

“Hi,” you replied. “I was just, uh, locking up. But, if you want some water-”

“No, no, I’m not here for that.”

Without thinking, you asked, “What are you here for?”

“You.” 

That boy’s smirk could melt the Arctic you swear to god.

You blushed and managed to say, “Well, uh, I’m here.”

“Yeah, you are.” Race shook his head. “Uh, can Is walk you home maybe, if ya want to. You can say no, if you wants to.”

Race was just so nervous. He knew you probably just saw him as a flirt, not as someone capable of walking you home. 

And you allowed him to walk you mostly there, telling him you weren’t going to lead him to your home

He understood, and finally finally he got to talk to you. 

The two of you talked the entire way, and you purposely took a longer route, just to talk to him more

You hoped he didn’t notice

He totally noticed hes a newsie he knows the streets of New York like the back of his hand

 But still, he dropped you off a few blocks from your home

“It was, uh, wonderful talking to you, Race.”

“Pleasure was all mine, Misses.” He removed his cap and bowed lowly.

You laughed and curtsied a little and when he left, you went home

It became a routine.

Race walked you straight home after his shift

He didn’t even eat dinner, he would push back dinner to walk you home

When you found out, you were furious and worried.

“What do you mean you haven’t eaten!? It’s so late.”

“Well, I mean, I don’t want to miss walking you home.” It was the first time Race avoided looking at you.

You smiled. “Wait here.”

A few minutes afterward, you emerged from the shop with a brown bag full of goodies. 

“Wait, gorgeous, I can’t just take all those from you. Yous got-”

“No, you haven’t eaten.” You held up the bag. “So, we’re going to eat dinner on the way home.”

Race took the bag and peaked inside. “This ‘as gotta cost ya more dimes than the daily run. I can’t-”

“Yes you can.” You pushed the bag to him. “If you don’t take the food, I won’t let you walk me home.” You crossed your arms and watched as Race argued with himself. 

Then, he sighed and laughed. “Yous too good for me, aren’t ya?”

It wasn’t true. At least, you didn’t think it was.

I mean, in front of you was a boy who had to work every day of his life just to survive, and he would rather delay dinner after his long day selling papers to walk you home.

So, you kissed his cheek. 

And boy, the boy recoiled from you, his entire face was red, and he was staring at you with the widest eyes you’ve ever seen.

You didn’t look too different either. 

You felt hot and were blushing everywhere and you were staring at the ground listening to your heart beat in your ears and praying that he wouldn’t run away.

He didn’t.

Race reached out for you hand, intertwining his fingers with yours

“Race?”

“Yes?”

You blinked so many times to make sure you weren’t dreaming. Race was holding your hand and his face was so close to yours and he looked so handsome in the moonlight

 “What” -you gulped- “What are you… I…”

“Can I kiss you?”

Without hesitation, you nodded.

And when his lips met yours, oh my god, it was the best feeling

You kissed his back, pushing your lips against his and trying to wrap your head around the fact that that boy, the boy who walked you home for weeks and flirted with you for even longer than that and made you laugh and smile, was kissing you and holding your hand

And oh god the way he kissed you, you could tell that he had been holding back. He had wanted this for a long time, and he was showing it, because not a second into your kiss, Race put the bag of food down and let go of your hand to grab you by the waist and pull you closer to him

You gasped against him, letting out a small giggle, but your lips were together again

Race smiled and pulled away just to say, “Surprise ya, angel?” before kissing you again and pulling you closer, not that you minded, nope you did not mind at all

Suddenly, you were pushed against the door of Jacobi’s with Race’s body pushed up against yours as the two of you continued kissing, your hands wandering to his hair, and your pretty sure his cap fell off, but Race didn’t seem to notice or if he didnt, he obviously didn’t care.

Since Race didn’t have to hold your waist so you were flush against him, his hands went to your cheeks, gently stroking your face and trying to memorize how soft your skin felt against his

It was only when you couldn’t breathe that you pulled away, your hands on his chest and his hands tangled in your hair, and you were still reeling from everything you felt. The happiness, the joy, the nervousness, the heat, the excitement

Race, however, was just acting on the emotions he was feeling, and since your lips were tired, he just kissed your forehead and hugged you close, needing to feel some sort of physical connection to you

You laughed. “That took us long enough, yeah?”

“Us? That was you!”

“Was not!”

“Was too!”

You kissed him quickly. “Was not.”

… Race.exe has stopped working

“Yeah, was not, you’re right.”

You giggled. “Thank you.” You bent down, picked up the brown bag, and handed it to him. “Now, someone needs to take me home.”

Race grabbed his hat and tipped it. “Yes, ma’am.” He held out his arm for you.

You gladly looped your arms through his and walked home with him.

Since then, the two of you were head over heels in love and you weren’t afraid to show it.

Race came by Jacobi’s at least twice a day before you had to close up shop. Once for food and for flirting with you. Twice to catch you on your break and either talk, eat, or make out.

Then it was walking you home, which, depending on how touch starved the poor newsie was, included a small kiss or a heated makeout session in the alleyway by Jacobi’s

You always had a dinner prepared for him, too

You were better off than he was, so you paid for all his dinners

Race was very upset about this, but you insisted

The boy needed to eat more than just the crusts of bread every now and then.

And so, because of this (and because he admired you so much), he started trying his best to save money.

It was hard and difficult to do so, being a newsie and all, but after about a year of saving nickels and finding pennies on the street, he had finally saved up enough to take you out on a proper date.

By then, the two of you had been together for over a year, still being cute, still walking you home, still making him dinner, and some new things too

Like hanging out with the other newsies, being friends with Katherine, and the newsies knowing how touchy feely you and Race were with each other

So, Race asked Jacobi for a favor.

One day, you came into work, but the atmosphere was different. Your boss was being weirdly quiet and secretive, and whenever you asked why, he just shrugged and said how it was going to be a good day.

Also Race didn’t come by during your first shift like he usually did

The other newsies did, so you asked them if they’d seen him

They acted weirdly too, avoiding the question, hitting and shushing each other

Then, when it was time to take your break, and Jacobi insisted you go outside for some reason

You asked him what he wanted you to do, and he just kinda shooed you out of the shop and told you to take as long as you needed

Where you found Katherine with a large box 

“Hey!”

“…What’s going on?”

“Something wonderful!” She squealed and pulled you to a public washroom nearby. “Here, look!” She opened her box, and you gasped.

A beautiful dress, like the ones Katherine wore

“What… Is this…”

“One of mine tailored to fit you?” Katherine nodded. “I know you loved this dress, and honestly, I have too many, and you don’t have enough, so I decided to give it to you as a present!” She pulled the dress out to place on top of you and made sure that it looked like it would fit. “And what better day than today!”

You blinked several times. “I’m not even sure what today is.”

“Don’t worry yourself about that.” She shoved the dress towards you and pushed you into one of the stalls. “Now, change!”

You changed into the beautiful dress and couldn’t help but twirl and show it off in front of Katherine and the mirror.

“Look at you!” Katherine beamed. “Oh, he’s going to love this!”

You nodded. “I can’t wait to show Race. Thank you so much, Katherine.” You stared at yourself in the mirror and admired how well the dress fit you and how well the skirt flared when you twirled. “I’ll be sure to wear this next time I have time off.”

Katherine smirked.

“What’s that face?” You pointed at your friend. “Katherine, I know that face. Last time you made that face, you were plotting, and I-”

“Come on!”

“Wait!” You grabbed your old clothes just as Katherine pulled you out of the bathroom. “Katherine, I need to go back to work!” 

Katherine pulled you past Jacobi’s.

“Wait, Race never met me for my lunch break! Katherine!”

“Don’t worry about it. Just trust me!”

Soon, you were getting shoved into a restaurant, an actual sit down restaurant where women wore nice dresses and men had to take off their hats.

Everyone stared at you when you got inside

You could feel their stares weigh you down, so you turned around just to bump into someone. 

“I’m sorry. I-”

“Aw, sweetheart, wheres you headin’ to?”

You blinked a few times. You gazed up at him. “Race? What…” You turned to look at all the fancier folk before paying attention to your boyfriend again. “Why…”

“Because I finally have enough money to take you to this kinda place.” He shrugged. “Wait here.”

He talked to the host and you were just starstruck.

Your newsie boyfriend didn’t have a hat for once in his life. His blonde curls were out in the open. He was wearing a button up and a vest and actual trousers. The shirt was a tad loose and the vest had a mismatched button, but wow, he looked good. Really good.

The blush settled in your cheeks by the time Race got back to you. “Come on, doll.”

You and Race followed the host to your table. 

Race pulled your chair out like a gentleman before sitting down across from you.

“Race, what is this? How-”

“I’ve been saving up!” He stood up straighter, so proud of himself.

You laughed. “Race, this is wonderful, but you know you don’t have to-”

“Yes, I do.” Race reached for your hand across the table and rubbed your knuckles. “You’re my partner, my amazing, wonderful, beautiful person, and you get me dinner every single day.” He shrugged. “Plus, I wanted to.”

So, the two of you had a fancy lunch together. With coffee instead of water and pasta instead of bread and dessert to top it all off. 

You and Rac fought over who paid for what. He supposedly could afford the entire thing and end up with a few cents in his pocket, but you couldn’t have it.

So, you paid for coffee, he paid for everything else.

The two of you left, happy

Race and you are constantly teased by the Newsies, and while yes, you were shier than your boyfriend, you eventually grew comfortable sitting in his lap during breaks and the kisses on cheeks.

Race loves you, and you love him, and honestly, nothing could ever change that.

[insporaelynn]

📲 raelynn && roman

WHEN: january 24-26th 

DESCRIPTION: just best friends talking and being obsessed with each other. rae confides in him about her ex drama.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: drug mention, probably sex mention.

@romanbeckett​

Roman

Hi love of my life. I miss your face. How’s it going??

raelynn

my baby

god, i miss you too. i'm doing okay, how're you tonight?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚���

it’s been an off day, not even gonna lie lol super sore and tired. I just wanna be back to normal already

raelynn

oh no

how's your scar healing up? the boys are taking care of you right??

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

it’s okay I guess bleh lol and not tonight. I’m all alone

raelynn

Where's Q? Is Aaron working?

Well I guess I should know that since I'm literally at work. Lmao.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Q is working on music. Aaron has des tonight

raelynn

ugh. i wanna lay with you and kiss ur face.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

are you busyyy? I can burn us some cookies

raelynn

i'm working but I'd love to see you after if you're still up.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

of yeah you just said you’re at work lmao fucking weed

yes please come by when you’re done

raelynn

LMAO I KNOW THE FEELING

absolutely, i'm yours.

u know niamh was trying to figure out who rue's date was and she was like "is it you" bc i mentioned that I have a dick appt with him tomorrow night.

and i was like. dude, no, for like, a thousand reasons. like, why would that ever be me???

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚n.

oh god, I’m so out of the loop with gossip lately, it’s sad. I didn’t even know he had a date lol

raelynn

it's apparently some big secret but he's having people help him dress up and asking about flowers and candy and niamh is like "bitch is it you" and i'm like. LMAO.

like is there anything about me that says flowers and candy

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

Hahahahahhahahahahaha HAHAHA

that really made me laugh too hard.

raelynn

like, i'm not the flowers girl, i'm the sneak out in the night girl, the middle of the afternoon girl, all those things, but flowers girl???? sdkfdskksd

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I’m 100p a flowers girl

raelynn

YOU ARE AND YOU'RE WORTH IT MY BABY

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

my parents are coming in to town this week. Gotta tell them I have two boyfriends haaaa. Pray for me

raelynn.

I feel like that should be the least shocking thing about you??? In a good way.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

yeah, I definitely keep them on their toes

raelynn

tell ur boyfriend that if he wants me to continue wearing body glitter he's going to have to pay me extra

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

omg but I love body glitter fyi

raelynn

I did an onlyfans video with Lilah earlier and I'm like 80% sure that I left glitter on her sheets. Like I'm a fucking unicorn.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

that makes me so happy I can’t even lie

I too wanna leave glitter everywhere

man I need to do only fans

raelynn

i would a thousand percent subscribe

both bc i'm a perv and also bc i'm a very supportive best friend.

we could get naked and do a body glitter photoshoot

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

and I love this about you

that sounds like a dream?? Wow

raelynn

would love nothing more than to apply body glitter to ur glorious tiddies.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

my tillies would appreciate it

Hahahaa it hurts to laughhhh

raelynn

SORRY SORRY I'M GOING TO BE VERY SERIOUS NOW

clears throat Um. The National Debt.

it is my understanding that there is. National Debt.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

hahahah I love you

raelynn

Blah blah, topics. Blah blah, smart people jargon, blah blah

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

god it’s so boring isn’t it

would so much rather talk about titties

raelynn

God same.

Like how yours are somehow bigger than mine.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I know, I need some sort of support at this point I think

raelynn

we could get you fitted for bras somewhere maybe that'd be fun

it'd look actually so hot

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

well I already wear lingerie in the bedroom. Might as well.

raelynn

you will be the absolute death of me, you're simply too gorgeous and too sweet to exist.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

stahhpppp you’re making me blushhhh. Right back atcha my babe

raelynn

is there anything you want me to bring you when i'm done here?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

just yourself. I’ve got good ass weed

raelynn

and for the millionth time, i realized, you are my soul mate.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

you’re mine, lovie.

raelynn

i wish i could've had appendix surgery instead of you

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

noooo don’t be silly lol I’m okay darling.

raelynn.

no i hate that you were in pain even for like a second i hate it so much!!

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

stop it, I love you. You cutie. Oh god okay I’m gonna make us cookies.

raelynn

Dont burn the house down my beautiful twin flame

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I always get cookie dough thinking I’ll do better next time. I still have that unearned confidence

raelynn.

Thats bc im always building you up and rightfully so

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

yes you do and I live for it. I also really love fresh cookies right out of the oven, I just want to make that happen

raelynn

I believe in you my little tropical starfish

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

raelynn

literally you

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

hehehehe ⭐️

raelynn

i don't think anybody's ever gonna love me more than you

and i think. i think maybe that's okay?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

that’s not true. You’re gonna find someone who is gonna blow you away

raelynn

yeah but even if i did, would I even be able to love them without being scared of them?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

yeah, I think so. I’ve had to overcome a lot of walls and fears myself that I never thought I could. The right person makes it easier.

raelynn

idk there are a lot of people i could've loved if i hadn't been so....this lmao

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I think it’ll just take some time!

raelynn

you have so much faith in me.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

of course I do. I think you can do anything.

raelynn

i'm not really sure.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

you don’t have to be cause I ammmmm

raelynn

and you're the smartest person in the world

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

in the whole world?? Damn. I’m not near as rich as I should be then.

raelynn

how about I stay over with you tonight and we get some breakfast in the morning? I did really good on tips tonight.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

okay!! I’d love that

raelynn

good 'cause i don't get to spend nearly as much time with you as i wanna

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I knowwww. We haven’t had a sleepover in so long

raelynn

you can cuddle up to me and i'll feed you cookies and kiss your hair

revolutionary. better than therapy.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Yes!!!!

raelynn

loml

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I finished the cookies baby and I didn’t burn them to a crisp

raelynn

you fucking legend

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I’m pretty damn proud of myself not gonna lieeeee

[...]

raelynn

extremely sad that i couldn't stay at breakfast with you all day

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

same

now I’m bored

raelynn

i swear after i left you my day went down the tubes.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

oh no I’m sorry

who do I need to fight

raelynn

well carson is back.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

oh god, tell me more

raelynn

idk why he's back but wes gave him my number bc i guess when i told him to lose it he took it to heart which like good i wanted him to

but anyway i screamed at him in the chat

everyone called me a hypocrite bc i told ivy to stop being a bitch in the chat awhile back. which tbh i didn't remember even doing, i just be saying shit.

like alex opened his fuckin mouth and i'm like what dog do you have in this fight

oh and DELILAH is moving in with carson bc he's "like her brother!!!" never mind the fact that he cheated on me bc i guess friendship doesn't mean much anymore

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

wow that’s...messy. Wtf lilah though seriously

raelynn.

So then Carson texts me bc wes gave him my number and that felt like being??? Pushed back in time against my will

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

that’s not cool

raelynn

So yeah a lot of crying today

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

*chick with knife emoji*

me rn

raelynn

Cute but lethal

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

*img attachment* 

and not at all high...

raelynn.

you're so hot jesus christ.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I love you.

raelynn.

love u more than life itself

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

*img attachment of a keychain that says PUSSY WAGON* 

this was recommended to me on Instagram and now I want it.

raelynn

LET'S GET THEM MATCHING.

EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE A CAR

AND THEREFORE NO KEYS FOR SAID CAR

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

it would be perfect for my Volkswagen

raelynn.

omg and with me in it...it really WOULD be a pussy wagon......

big brain

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahahahah

raelynn

we should road trip soon

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I would love that so much honestly

raelynn

where should we go?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

Disney world!!

raelynn

will u propose to me there

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

wouldn’t that be romantic as heck

raelynn.

THE most romantic and also we'd maybe get free dessert

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I never turn down anything free.

raelynn

me neither. not the taylor family way

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahaha I love you.

raelynn.

we'll start planning a summer trip, just us.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

yay yay yay yay!

raelynn.

i'm gonna wear a tiara the whole time.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.BOT01/25/2021

with Mickey ears?

raelynn.BOT01/25/2021

of course, i'm not a monster.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahahaa

[...]

raelynn

I hate dudes.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

they’re a mess aren’t they lol

raelynn

Had a temporary lapse in sanity and agreed to meet Carson for coffee lol and he canceled like 15 mins before we were supposed to meet for a probably fake meeting lmao its so typical but I fell for it

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

babe I’m so sorry

raelynn

Like im just so tired

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

how can I make it better

raelynn.

I don't know honestly and I wish I did.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I love you.

raelynn

I love you.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

you’re my baby

raelynn

you're MY baby

[seijch]

angst 8, 19, 25!!

make me work on my wips!!

ok i decided to use the New List for this ask (and i hope i remember to make a new wip game post?? if not then it is what it is LMAO)

8. defeatist, a tsukishima pokemon au + angst

i do NOT have a plot in mind for this one ... its only on the list bc his team and the title of this fic came super easy MNFSDFS

in this scene tho, the readers pokemon are addicted to a drug called X that acts as steroids but for pokemon? theyre based off of real items ingame known as battle items or “x items”,, a fic from the original kpop ver of this series dealt with them and once i started writing i realized i could loop that back into this scene but??? 

he should have known.

scratch that--he did know, does know, but chose not to act.

when he sees you outside the arena, eyes red and puffy, he knows what he should do. “kei.” your voice comes out tiny. broken. strange, he thinks, to see someone so bright begin to flicker out. “my aerodactyl…” there are three pokeballs in your hands where there were once four. aerodactyl fetch a heavy price in the black market. he wonders if the price of selling your pokemon managed to even do a dent in your debt.

(an aerodactyl addicted to X is not an aerodactyl worth the premium cost. it is what it is, he resolves, forcing the thoughts away. he knows that suspended within the other three pokeballs are three more damn near helpless causes. the most helpless of all is right in front of him, after all.)

“do you need money?” he asks.

“yes.” the light returns to your eyes, even if only by a bit. 

seeing that pleasant warmth, almost like sunshine, is enough to make him stay. how pathetic is he, the ocean waiting to catch icarus before the fall?

“this is the last time,” he warns.

“i know.”

he knows what the right choice is. but he chooses to choose wrong.

19. thirty days has september, a kuroo demon au + angst

they always warn about the dangers of drinking, but none of those warnings ever seem to include the possibility of summoning a demon after three shots too many.

it was rlly hard to write angst for this tbh its more of a fluff/humor (???) kinda fic in my head

there are a few Angsty Ideas going on in this one but i feel like none of them get fully explored but then again .. its 200ish words

“so this is it.” you hate to say it, but you’ve been dreading the thirtieth day of september. you’d blown it off at first, saying that it marked winter drawing ever closer. you rationalized it, saying that you were sick and tired of halloween being marketed outside of october.

but standing before kuroo now, you know that there’s only one reason you want time to stop. “yeah. you gonna miss me?”

“in your dreams,” you lie.

“you mean my nightmares,” he grins, the tip of his fangs poking his lip. “believe it or not, i’ll miss this place. you always did stock the best flavors of chips.” he holds his palm to his chest, giving you a nod you’re sure would be earnest coming from anyone else.

“well then…” he bows low, “i’ll be off. see you around.” he disappears in a flash of flame, the scent of smoke clinging to your skin. no sentimentality. no tearful goodbye.

you wonder if you were alone in this relationship for two all along, that you had made everything up because he had been a convenient target.

you don’t sleep well that night.

(“what’re you still doing awake?” he’d ask, the tv playing paid programming in the background. “go to bed.”)

or the night after.

(“this wouldn’t have happened if you’d listened to me,” he snipes across the kitchen island, a mug of tea in hand.)

or the night after that.

25. untitled tsukishima friends to lovers au + angst

the story of this is based off a song called confession rehearsal!! heres the original version + an english cover bc the og ver doesnt have eng subs

another one thats hard to write angst for... tbh when i started i had no clue i was just Writing And Hoping

loves me, you think, ripping the petal from the flower. it drifts to the ground.

“you really think a game is gonna help you?” tsukishima asks from beside you. loves me not.

“not like it’ll hurt, right?” loves me.

“you can count out what the result’s gonna be by looking at the petals.” loves me not. “you’ve got…” he mutters under his breath, index finger grazing each petal. “three left.” loves me. “two left” he amends. “you can tell what you’re gonna get, so why bother?”

“because,” you huff, pouting. loves me not. “not everyone goes into life thinking about things like that.”

“maybe they should.” he plucks the last petal. loves me. “there. your mystery man loves you. case closed.”

“can you relax?” you rise from the bench, turning on him. “i know it might not look serious, but i really, really want this to work out. so if you could stop being such an asshole for one second, i’d really appreciate that!”

he rises to his full height, and you lose the leverage you once had against him. “you were the one who came to me with your unreasonable requests. i know thinking doesn’t come easily to you, but i suggest broadening your horizons. maybe if you stop being so short-sighted, i’ll stop being an ‘asshole.’” he busts out the air quotes, a sneer on his face.

“fine. i’m done practicing. thanks for the help.” you let go of the stem, allowing it to join the petals. your bookbag is heavy as you shoulder it on, but not as heavy as your heart is as you walk away from tsukishima.

[alexanderlightweight]

the finery of a king can be a royal complication

@lynne-monstr

Tentacletober prompt 5: First Time 

 ao3 link 

“Alexander,” Magnus breathed out and by Edom, the sight of his fiancé was like an ethereal balm to his lonely eyes.  For a moment he worried that perhaps Lilith had created a mockery of what he wanted most, to taunt him with. Then hot, dusty hands were pulling him into an embrace and he could smell the familiar scent of their shared sandalwood shampoo and the salt of Alec’s skin underneath the layers of ichor and dust.  

No dream could feel as sweet as the press of Alec’s chapped lips brushing against his own.  

He was dirty, exhausted and so very beautiful in Magnus’ eyes.

Around him, his new reality flickered and he brought his powers up sharply, desperate to reign them in as he heard footsteps.  Now was not the time to introduce Alec to the unexpected turn Magnus’ victory had taken.  

“I”ll stay here, with you.  I’m never leaving you again.”  Alec promised and Magnus knew he was sincere but he also knew that his fiancé was unaware of certain changes.  Magnus adored Alexander, so did his magic and that meant that his new appendages wanted to understand why all of Magnus adored him so.   

“Alexander,” Magnus murmured, “before you say such things.  I need to tell y-“

Magnus blinked once before narrowing his eyes as Lorenzo unexpectedly entered the room, interrupting him and his tentacles bristled.  They were already irritated at being glamoured and kept from Alec and at the moment they were completely in-tune with his feelings which meant they had a new target for their ire.  Magnus used every bit of his self-control and tightened the glamour restraining them, now was not the time to socialize his tentacles.

“What was it you wanted to tell me?”  Alec asked once they were alone and in the safety of what was once again -finally - their loft.  There was a soft smile on his face as he kissed Magnus’ cheek and Magnus wanted to bask in the feeling of him being near, of being with Alec but he also knew that it was time to share with him the truth.

One of Magnus’ tentacles reached out to gently trace Alexander’s deflect rune.  Alec twitched, hand coming up to automatically bat the unexpected touch away and then he froze when his wrist was grabbed by a different, more confident tentacle that gently but firmly held him in place.

“Wha-?”  He started to ask and then he went quiet, a soft and startled sort of silent as he turned wide, confused eyes to Magnus.

“It just so happens,” Magnus said and gave a small and fragile smile, “that defeating my father came with both perks and… shall we say disadvantages ?” 

One of his tentacles smacked him and he shushed it, casually pushing it away from him with two fingers. 

“Magnus?”  Alec asked warily, “please tell me it’s your magic currently giving my neck a hickey and holding my wrist.”

“Not my magic technically ,” Magnus hedged and then hurried when Alec’s face darkened, “but a part of me nonetheless.” 

“So what is it?”  Alec asked and his voice got a little higher at the end, his chin lifting up as a slightly overeager tentacle latched another sucker to his skin.

“Well,” Magnus started and paused as his normally silver tongue fumbled for the right words, “you won’t have a reason to complain about not getting enough cuddles.”  He offered and then slowly let his glamour rescind.  

Alec caught his gaze first.  The look of adoration that filled his eyes upon meeting Magnus’ own un-glamoured ones was blinding and Magnus could see how his pupils widened and the corners of his eyes crinkled.  It also meant that Magnus could tell the exact moment Alec saw his new appendages. 

 There was a murmur of discontent in Magnus’ emotions when Alec’s eyes narrowed in confusion and Magnus couldn’t control how his tentacles reacted to it with a frisson of chaotic, restless energy.  One even went so far as to knock a vase off the table but before Magnus could use magic to catch it, another had swept it up and put it back. Magnus mentally sighed and hoped that this wasn’t an indication his tentacles were going to be the equivalent of numerous, wriggling and impulsive cats.   

“I- thats… definitely new.”  Alec said and Magnus was determined not to let the reaction disappoint him.  His tentacles and subconscious had a different opinion it seemed and the tentacle wrapped around Alec’s wrist pulled him towards them with a stubborn intensity.  

“They think rather highly of you,” Magnus told Alec when he was only a step away and even as he said it, he knew that it was an understatement.  If anything, he could feel a thrum of insecurity that was a little foreign, as though his tentacles were desperate for Alec’s validation and affection.  

“Oh?”  

“Yes, I’d say they’re almost-“ and as Magnus paused, the ones that had been waiting moved in, pressing up against Alec’s spine until he was nearly flush against Magnus chest.  “Impatient,” he finished and smiled when Alec only managed a breathy chuckle. The fact that they had integrated with him but not completely worried Magnus sometimes, but he did feel some relief at how much they seemed to adore Alec.

“They are very friendly,” Alec said, “and now that I know they’re yours, I’ll figure out how to work with them.  I love you Magnus, every part of you.  There could never be anything ugly about you, ever."

One, very helpful tentacle curled through Alec’s belt-loops and pulled him even closer so that Magnus could kiss him.  Because kissing Alexander felt both like coming home and feeling whole again all at once.

Alec’s fingers dug into his hips, hard enough to leave bruises and his breath stuttered as Magnus tangled his fingers into Alec’s hair.  Magnus wanted more, he wanted Alec under him and over him, pressed against him and with Magnus’ magic flooding him like they hadn’t in what felt like a lifetime.  

He wanted to relearn how Alec felt, taste and touch him with his magic and his lips and feel the adoration and devote sincerity of Alec’s affections through his magic and reactions.  There was another gasp, a little sharper this time and when Alec moved away, Magnus followed, chasing the taste of his lips.

“Magnus,” was murmured against his lips and he paused, his fervor dampened by the grip on his arm even as Alec’s chest heaved against him.

“Alexander?”  He asked and pressed his lips to Alec’s neck, licked away the salt from the rune there and cherished the shudder it earned him.

“Your uh- you, what are- are they?”

And Magnus realized what had Alec in a confused, distracted haze.  The tentacle that had so helpfully curled in Alec’s belt loops and pulled him close, had unbuttoned his pants and was teasing him slowly.  Pulling back a little further, Magnus surveyed the willing mess his tentacles were making of his fiancé.

The tentacle at his neck had left deep, red marks that could easily pass as hickey’s but would far less easily be hidden from view without magical aid.  It had then circled around to let Magnus press his own arduous kiss to Alec's skin and was now leaving similar marks down Alec’s collarbone and past the v of his shirt.  

“They have priorities."

“And what priorities are those?”  Alec asked, breathless and adoring as he caught Magnus in another kiss.

“To learn you, to memorize you.  To love every part of you,” Magnus murmured quietly against Alec’s lips.

"Those are good priorities," Alec agreed breathlessly and the confirmation sparked a heat deep inside of Magnus, an eagerness to pull more noises and .

-

It was late and despite how tired he was and how bone-achingly sated he felt, Magnus couldn’t settle, his magic and tentacles restless as they moved about him.  Doing everything from smoothing the silk sheets on the bed to running through Alec’s sweat-damp hair and pressing sucking marks against the sensitive skin along his spine.

“What do they want now?”  Alec asked, voice hoarse from sleep and with a rasping tinge that spoke of deep exhaustion.  Magnus didn’t even need to scold his tentacles, they seemed to understand that they’d woken up Alec and he could practically feel their guilt.  

“Nothing love,” Magnus murmured and ran his thumb over Alec’s cheek, “that was my fault.  I’m still trying to figure out how to work them.”

Alec didn’t say anything else, just nuzzled against Magnus’ palm and pressing a kiss to the skin there before closing his eyes and sinking back into the pillows.  

His tentacles bristled with indignation and Magnus could feel his warring emotions swell.  First there was contentment, that Alec was settling back down and at the same time, dissatisfaction that Alec wasn’t showing the same amount of care to them.

Magnus sighed, a headache starting to build and a tentacle helpfully moved up to pinch the bridge of his nose.  The others guiltily tried to relax but Magnus was about to give up on sleeping at all. In Edom, he had considered them an extra security measure while vulnerable but now, here safe in his bed with Alec, they were a nuisance and even as tired as Magnus was they felt no closer to calming down.

“Babe?”  Alec asked and the rare nickname made something raw and tender in Magnus’ chest throb, “what’s wrong?”

“Just,” and Magnus paused, unable to articulate that his frustration wasn’t so much with his tentacles as much as how much his tentacles felt… emotionally.  

It was one thing to learn how to regulate the sensations and physical synapsis of added physical and magical appendages.  It was quite another to suddenly have to also deal with an unregulated emotional onslaught and energy.

“They’re just sensitive,” he finally said, hating the choice of words, “a little uh, tender right now.”

There was a moment where he thought he’d managed and then a deep, sleepy chuckle, “they’re lonely, aren’t they?”

“Something like that,” Magnus admitted.  “It’s all very new. I was just learning how to manage them when you showed up and now-“  He would never complain about Alec having come for him, or be upset with how quickly his tentacles had become besotted.  He’d even suspected it would happen, what with how much his magic had always loved Alexander and how it had thrummed in his veins when they’d been reunited.  However, there was something to be said with timing and his tentacles didn’t seem to understand that Alec was still adjusting to their presence.

“C’me here?”  Alec asked and Magnus settled back down, careful not to press too close least his tentacle get any ideas.  “Magnus,” Alec complained, “please. I missed you, I can’t be in the same bed as you and not have you as close as possible.”  

There was a desperation in his voice and Magnus could no sooner hear it than not do everything and anything in his power to alleviate it.

“I missed you too,” he said, “so much Alexander.”  

“I don’t mind them I promise, just please.  Hold me?”

His tentacles didn’t pounce, nothing so undignified as that, but they surrounded Alec without hesitation.  It was as though they were worried he’d rescind the invitation and were desperate to claim a place for themselves.  Magnus curled an arm tight around Alec’s back, pulling him closer still and Alec pressed his nose to the crook of Magnus’ neck.

“They’re nice like this,” Alec finally said, lips brushing against his skin and all of Magnus shared a feeling of deep relief, “it’s like a giant hug.”

The tentacles squirmed happily about Alec even tighter, careful not to hurt him but holding him as close as possible and finally, Magnus felt like he could sleep.

[dregstrash]

Earning the Present(s) [3/4]

Who says presents have to be given on Christmas? (me, the very late, very sorry fic writer)-- another long one folks

Part 1 || Part 2

Summary: Five years after the events of the Ice Court, the six outcasts were in the prime of their lives. They had everything they had fought and bled for: money, power, promise, home. But this holiday season, a surprisingly altruistic event has them all under the same roof, and they all may have been a little older and a little wiser, but they were still those teenagers who had done the impossible and had almost died countless of times. And when the idea of a holiday gift exchange comes up the true test of their friendship and their growth is thrown into the rink.

-----------------------

WYLAN

Wylan wasn’t sure how he could have possibly ended up here. Whether or not it was by Ghezen’s Hand or from Inej’s saints, but he was positive that it had to be some sort of cosmic intervention that had led him sitting in front of his fireplace, holding his husband’s hand, and surrounded by thieves and an ex-convict.

“That was quite the celebration, Wylan.” Inej said from her place by the window. “I think Kerch might do some good having an orphanage like that in its streets.”

“Thank you, Inej.” Wylan smiled at her. “Getting it past the Council was tough enough, but I’m just happy to give some of those kids a home.”

Jesper snorted beside him, “Yeah, now there actually might be space at The Slat.”

“How did you get those fat birds to donate to your cause anyhow?” Nina brought up. She was tucked firmly under Matthias’s arm and looked positively comfortable.

Wylan felt a slight blush at the measures he had taken to ensure the Council’s support of such an extravagant building to house the countless of orphans roaming the streets, and he tried his best not to look at Kaz as he said, “Let’s just say the right leverage was applied.”

“Oh saints,” Nina rolled her eyes then turned a lazy finger towards Kaz, “You need to stop corrupting his sweet mind.”

Kaz’s lips twitched, “Van Eck doesn’t need me to corrupt his brain. That’s why he keeps Fahey around.”

“Hey,” Jesper protested, “That’s Mr. Van Eck to you, Brekker.”

Wylan grinned and settled to drink his tea as the argument continued on. He wasn’t particularly proud of asking Ketterdam’s most notorious villain to help to threaten the Kerch Council to make this orphanage happen, but he didn’t regret it either. He would have paid for the construction of the building himself, but the land that he was eyeing for the site was owned by the city. When Wylan had brought up his request, one of his father’s oldest friends (who had held a grudge against Wylan ever since his father received his life sentence in jail) suggested that the land would be best used for other means. 

And before he knew it, Wylan’s plans of the orphanage were starting to fall apart before they had even begun. It wasn’t just the orphanage that had been upsetting him. It was how easily the Council had looked over his request and how the idea of building an estate for the very act of charity was less worthy. Echoes of his father’s voice had resounded in his head, and this startlingly new conviction settled in his chest and one thing led to another and he had found himself sitting awkwardly in front of Kaz Brekker at The Slat stumbling through the situation.

“I’m willing to pay you half of the exported sugar I have coming in this month, if you can help get this off the ground.”

Kaz hadn’t moved throughout the entire exchange. He could have been a statue as Wylan talked and his dark eyes stayed steadily on him. Even when he had finished talking he remained still.

“Does Jesper know you’re here?”

“He does, and he highly discouraged me from coming. Something about getting into bed with a demon.” Wylan had explained.

“At least being married to you finally wised him up,” Kaz murmured before he looked past Wylan and got a familiar, distant expression on his face. “That sugar shipment, it’s coming from Zemini, isn’t it?” He had finally said.

Wylan didn’t bother asking how he knew that, “Yes.”

“The ship it’s on has one of the largest cargo holds in your fleet.” He said again. Wylan nodded. “Hmm...I’ll help if I can take that ship off of your hands for the rest of the year.”

“What are you going to do with it?” Wylan asked raising his eyebrow.

“I have certain business ventures across the sea, that require speed and space.”

“Right.”

“And just so we’re clear, Wylan. You’re asking me to convince certain members of the merchant council to approve your plans for this orphanage? Through any means necessary?”

“Yes.” Wylan cleared his throat, “It’s a good plan and this city could deal with at least some kindness. Even if it comes through the Bastard of the Barrel himself.”

Kaz’s sharp smile caught Wylan off guard.

 “Then the deals the deal, merchling.” He held out his gloved hand and Wylan shook it firmly. “Wait a couple weeks and suggest the plan again. You’ll probably be able to start construction soon after that.”

And true to his word, Wylan went back to the council and no sooner had he finished did they approve the plans and even called it Ghezen’s work that an orphanage should be built to educate those who had nothing. Jesper had scoffed at the reasoning, but was just as excited as his husband when Wylan drew up blue prints, started to hire crew members, and then ultimately its grand opening.

Jesper had been by Wylan’s side through it all. He helped with some of the ground work, supervised when Wylan was away taking care of his mother, and calmed him when the ever-present self-doubt started to creep back in his mind. After the Ice Court job, it had seemed almost like a dream for someone like Jesper to stick around to Wylan, but there he was. Then his tall, Zemeni, thrill-addict boyfriend had really thrown him for an absolute loop when they had gone out to dinner on their backyard and he had gone down on one knee. It was all impossible, but then Wylan said yes and the impossible became possible. And with this orphanage now open, even that had become possible.

For that reason, he supposed it wasn’t that impossible to have all of the people that had survived the most dangerous heist ever to be conceived by anyone to be sitting around the fire ready to open presents.

“Okay,” Nina announced finally, “Me first. So as tradition dictates. Whoever picked first has to give the present first. If I remember correctly, Matthias picked a name. Okay, my dear Fjerdan, who’d you have?”

“Uh,” Matthias said hesitantly. He pulled out a long, rectangular box from behind him and kept his eyes on the present. “I-uh-I didn’t know what else to get you, um, Inej.” The girl in question raised her eyebrows in surprise and stood up from the window, “But, I hope you find it suitable.”

Inej walked over and opened the box slowly. Wylan watched as Inej smiled gratefully as she pulled out a beautiful double-edged knife with a white marble handle.

“It’s of Fjerdan make,” Matthias explained his face flushing, “The inscription is from-uh- Fjerdan saint and uh-”

“Thank you,” Inej interrupted and further surprised the bulky man with a hug.

Matthias smiled in relief and returned the gesture.

“Splendid, Jesper you’re next.” Nina said.

“Ah, finally,” Jesper grinned widely as he separated his hand from Wylan’s. He dug around in his pants pocket and produced two small boxes. Wylan recognized the smile that was lighting up his face and he felt his insides swirl at whatever his husband had decided to gift their friend.

“Now, dearest Nina, since you only deserve the best. I hope these will suffice.” He tossed both boxes at her and she caught them deftly, “Though, I think one of those might actually be for Helvar.”

Curious, Nina opened the first box and positively giggled as she held up a scrap of black lace lined with a blood red border. If Matthias’s face was red before, it was practically boiling now. Even Wylan felt a slight blush creep around his neck.

“Ah, Jes, you shouldn’t have.” She held out the undergarments out for everyone to see and slyly glanced at her Fjerdan, “Think of all the things we could do with this, sweet.”

Matthias looked away fast and everyone laughed at his reaction.

Still giggling Nina unwrapped Jesper’s second present and the smile that settled on her face was far more genuine and real than Wylan had ever seen on her. “Jesper Llewelyn, how did you get this?”

Nina held up a thin chain up from the box and revealed a beautiful sun charm. It glinted against the fire light warmly, and had a clear jewel in the middle. 

Jesper shrugged, “I was in Little Ravka in the other day, and I happened to befriend a very talented Fabrikator. He insists it’s the purest form of gold out there.”

“Thank you,” Nina said.

“You’re welcome,” Jesper smiled back.

Wylan couldn’t help but reach back for his hand. It was so rare to see him this comfortable with anyone else or with any other group of people. He was never comfortable with any of the men that Wylan did business with and all of Jesper’s other friends lived far too close to the gambling halls. So to see him so happy made Wylan’s heart flutter in his chest.

The night went on and with each unwrapping came a surprised shock of actually receiving a perfect gift. Inej gave Jesper finely crafted holsters for his guns. Nina gave Wylan a Grisha made flute, that Jesper insisted he played for everyone. He obliged and marveled at the artistry of the instrument and the clear and pure notes that emanated from it. Then came for Kaz to give his gift and Wylan couldn’t deny the sudden shift of mood as they all waited for Kaz to come back from wherever he went to fetch his gift.

“Alright, Helvar,” Kaz reentered the room with a hefty box under his arm, “This was hell to try to get, but try not to kill it.”

He all but shoved the box at Matthias’s lap and went back to his seat by the fire. The other boy looked curiously at the plain box curiously.

Matthias’s furrowed brow quickly rose up as whatever in the box made a loud bark. Nina peered in and her mouth dropped in an almost comical O shape.

“How-what-I-” Matthias stammered as he lifted a gray and white pup out of the container.

Wylan gaped at the small creature that was now sniffing at Matthias curiously and even dared to nibble at the giant’s thumb. It let out a small whimper before Nina instinctively stroked it behind its ears. 

“He is adorable! Look at him!” She squealed.

Kaz shrugged, “I did a favor for a Fjerdan a while back, and I had a pack delivered to me for security reasons. As it happens, I had a litter of these runts running around and I kept a couple before getting rid of the rest.”

“By ‘getting rid’ do you mean a quick trip down the canal?” Jesper said hesitantly.

“Ugh,” Nina shivered, not taking her eyes off the dog, “Please don’t answer that, Brekker, I don’t want to hear the truth or the potential lie.”

Kaz’s lip twitched, but he stayed silent.

Matthias’s bewildered blue gaze met Kaz for a moment before he stammered out a quick, “Thank you, demji.”

A bemused expression settled in Kaz’s eyes before he saluted him in acknowledgement. 

The puppy was yawning and Wylan could have laughed at the sight of such a small thing nestled in Matthias’s large hand. And if Wylan was completely honest with himself, he could have laughed at the fact that Kaz had even thought of being so considerate. That he went out of his way to think of something Matthias would actually want-- that his gift was so small, fluffy, and....wholesome. 

“What are you going to name him?” Wylan asked finally.

Matthais looked down at the animal and nuzzled his face with its snout, “I’m going to name him Trassel....after a good friend of mine.”

Nina peered into the blue and black eyes of the puppy, and cooed to it, “Hi, Trassel. Welcome to the family.”

The dog barked cheerfully at that and settled to rubbing his face against Matthias’s hand.

After a few moments all eyes turned towards Wylan who had yet to give his present.

“Ah, right,” He said, suddenly feeling nervous. He got up from his seat and went behind the curtain to retrieve the long rectangular box. His stomach fluttered with anxiety as he made his way back to the circle of his friends. It wasn’t so much the giving of the present, but knowing what the recipient might do with the gift gave him a slight pause. But as he neared Kaz, he shrugged away the discomfort. 

“Here you go, Kaz, hopefully it’ll serve as a good backup.” 

Kaz took the box hesitantly, and ripped open the box. Wylan held his breath as he delicately lifted a cane. The handle was shaped like a crow about to take flight, and its dark-wood finely engraved with jagged lines, and its tip tapered into a fine point. 

“It’s-” Wylan started to explain in the midst of Kaz’s silence, “It’s Grisha made so it shouldn’t break when there’s a substantial amount of force applied. And- if you twist the handle-”

Before Wylan finished the thought, Kaz twisted the handle and the pointed end of the cane opened up and the neutral expression Kaz had kept on his face disappeared. He smiled as he examined the turned cane and the new opening of the cane.

“You made me a gun.” There was a slight hint of a laugh in his voice. 

“Wylan, my dear,” Jesper said looking amused and concerned all at once, “Did you just give the most deadly man in the barrel a weapon that is not only as strong as his current cane, but also a gun?”

He shrugged and tried to fight the smugness working its way in his chest at Kaz’s reaction to his gift. He had his own reservations when he had come up with the plans as soon as he knew who he had gotten for this secret gift exchange. Wylan had debated about it for a full day before he had drawn up the plans and then set up a meeting with Ketterdam’s few Fabrikators. There were always going to be monsters in Ketterdam, those with longer and sharper teeth, and he supposed it wouldn’t hurt having one of those monsters as an ally and providing him with one more tooth.

“Well, Wylan,” Kaz’s grin was the widest he’s ever seen on him, “I will say, you never cease to surprise me.”

He twisted the handle restoring the cane to its proper form. 

At this Wylan did smile at Kaz. That was the closest thing to a compliment he’s given him in recent years and even if he had stopped working with the Dregs, there was still a small part of Wylan that couldn’t forget about his past. That feeling of doing a job well done or even earning a place in Kaz’s crew. 

And as the night continued on, with people playing with their presents in anyway they could, whether that be taking turns holding Trassel or making Wylan play or Nina offering to teach them some Ravkan games, Wylan couldn’t help but marvel at the warmth and radiating from the people around him. And when he noticed that Kaz had managed to slip away quietly, he decided that they needed this-- all of them. 

The crew who broke into the Ice Court, brought down a member of the Merchant Council, conned multiple countries, and fabricated their own plague, needed a chance to feel like the world wasn’t always escaping the past or fighting for their future. That for once they could sit around a fire with warm drinks in their bellies and live in the present.

--------------------------

Tags:  @krugerevengeinej @orangesnakesanddogs @i-hate-usernames45 @qrow-ismyspiritanimal @fangirl-ladybug @wraithpirate  @the-jennster @lagabygaby @rynli @noirmagic1 @shiyash @readmeaway @razz-dazzle-taz @queenofthebarrel @irepostthingsilike @irepostthingsilike @i-just-want-to-have-a-fun-time @smittenthing @highladyofthefoodcourt @emilily101 @sourbishop @nerd-in-a-galaxy-far-away @alexbeatthebass @writtenwordheart @icefire0722 @ladyofvroses @bbenwyatt @zxyjxy @burnin-through-the-sky @thewoofster @daniellepal @goodie-giving-gecko-gets-gatos @bree-the-sloth @universallyghostjudgecalzone @thecrownedcupcake17 @kayleed77 @kanejandkruge

[sharksfood]

spoilers for Ralph Breaks the Internet (Wreck-It Ralph 2)

SO i was going to wait to record my thoughts on Ralph Breaks the Internet until after i finished my homework but i cant stop thinking about it!!!

anyways, I saw RBTI on Tuesday night in 3D and it was AMAZING!! i mean, both the movie by itself and how it looked in 3D. i loved that they put in a nod to those movies that took 3D to the fullest potential with stuff coming at you from the screen, when Ralph was throwing the football into the air.

BESIDES THAT i LOVED this movie!!!! i’m no negative nancy when it comes to sequels and i had been wanting a WIR followup since the first one came out!

but to get the biggest aspect out of the way, i was not always on board with the plot of Ralph and Vanellope going into the Internet. when I first heard the movie announcement and the whole Internet aspect it didn’t totally make sense to me. I mean, I originally thought the gang going into online games was a good mix between Internet and video games (since WIR revolves around video games). However I quickly changed my mind, especially since they WOULD be going into online/mobile games.

My initial reaction to the movie as a whole was EXTREMELY POSITIVE!!! I loved how the animation looked, the fact that we got an introduction on what Ralph, Vanellope, Felix, and Tammy (Calhoun) had been up to since the last movie, and that everything including the arcade had changed in basically real time. That last part was a bit sad too, especially with how few games were left in the arcade and that it seems business was not as good for Mr. Litwak as it used to be. BUT this movie, especially the beginning, was like catching up with an old friend after a long time apart! WIR means so much to me and I was so glad Disney took the time to connect to those who’d seen and loved the first movie.

I’ll admit I was a little nervous with how they’d handle the Internet, especially for a fictional universe thats based on the real one, like WIR. I knew they’d have to create fake websites and video games and what not to fit the plot and because of licensing rights. I’m also glad they did this because if Yesss were the algorithm for actual BuzzFeed or YouTube I don’t think they’d let anyone forget that. plus that would be too 4th wall breaking in my opinion. and this movie did A LOT or meta/4th wall stuff. I dont think any of the references or hints or real-world tie ins were annoying or over the top, it was the right amount for me. they could have made everything fictional, but that would fail to hook people. it was the right amount of fiction and real-life.

that being said, I do think some of the things Ralph, Vanellope, and Yesss accomplished couldn’t work in the real world. What bothered me is that any video of Ralph showed him as 3D, like how he looks in Sugar Rush or in the Game Central Station. Yes, that is how he looks “inside” the games and from other video game character’s perspective, but does that work for humans? Maybe it wasn’t explained very well, thats all. WIR is at times a little hard to wrap my head around. But then again, not everything needs to be explained or completely realistic, since, you know, video game characters are not able to coexist in each other’s games or buy stuff from Ebay.

the new characters was SO GOOD especially Yesss, Shank, and Knowsmore (to me anyways). I would have liked if the new characters had interacted with each other on screen more (like Yesss and Shank are friends but you wouldn’t know that without each of them saying so). also the Disney Princesses were adorable and actually more plot-related than i thought they’d be!

the biggest surprise for me is how much importance the movie gave to Vanellope for being a princess, i mean, she got a song and everything! To me she never gave her princessship much mind, since she only wanted to be a racer. by the end of the movie she was farther from being a princess than before. but i think this was intentional and why we got the scene with the other princesses in the first place, Disney wanted to show that there’s no one way to be a princess. obviously Pixar addressed this with Merida, and I think Moana is a good example, too, but Vanellope really is the least-princessy princess. I’m also glad that they didn’t make her song or voice too cute/pretty, it fit with her character, personality, and dream!

the part of this movie that my most impactful for me was the message and eventually plot structure of how Ralph and Vanellope’s friendship was addressed. WIR means a lot to me is many ways, but the fact that romance or blood family isnt the main relationship dynamic is huge.  I mean, I can’t think of many Disney/Pixar movies that do this, and even those that do, friendship is just a subplot. Ralph and Vanellope becoming friends, protecting one another, even in the face of their differences is one of the main messages of WIR (the other being self-acceptance and following your heart). RBTI took this further with the message of how friends can grow, drift apart, have difference dreams, become too attached, and build negative friendships based on anxieties. I’ve NEVER seen this in an animated movie, and it hit me pretty hard.

so with anxiety in mind, I really liked how Vanellope’s glitching was utilized, i mean since she now has a general control on it, she doesn’t glitch out as much. the only time she does in RBTI is when she wants to or when she’s super anxious. its almost like a physical symptom of her having a panic attack. (on a personal note, Vanellope’s glitching was the main thing that helped me get over my fear of glitch, so that relation to anxiety and fear is very meaningful to me) but Vanellope’s anxieties were very different from Ralph’s, which is good! they both struggled with being accepted within their games in the past, and part of that still lingers, though now, especially for Ralph, it manifests in anxiety over their friendship. I really like the direction that Disney/Pixar has taken with some of their movies recently in that the main antagonist is not a villain, but rather an emotion or conflict anthropomorphized.

as for the characters, Ralph and Vanellope were PERFECT. Vanellope is my favorite and she was just amazing. Their characters were the right amount of the same from the first movie and different, since there’s been 6 years for them to grow. I’m also really happy that Felix and Tammy were in RBTI, though I wish they were in it more. I mean, this was Ralph and Vanellope’s movie, but most of Tammy’s appearances were just for comedic affect, in my opinion. They also seemed way different, but I guess that’s marriage? It’s as if their character-specific dialogue and quirks were toned down. Maybe after a second viewing it’ll make more sense to me.

My only other complaints are that when Ralph accidentally finds the comment section of BuzzTube, his reaction and that whole scene didn’t add much to the story. I think it was important, especially given Ralph’s past, but it was so short. Ralph seemed to have forgotten all about it after the scene ended. The comments and toxic parts of the Internet play a much bigger role than that, so I wish it was addressed better. I also thought it was weird that we didn’t get any clear context as to why Mr. Litwak got Wifi in the first place. I mean, I assumed it was to get an online presence for the Arcade, but i don’t think that was actually addressed. Of course thats a minor thing compared to my previous comment. 

The last thing I noticed is that the main conflict of the movie, the steering wheel of Sugar Rush breaking and how they’d need to buy a new one or Sugar Rush would be gone for good, was introduced too soon. I think this was done because there was so much content to get through within 2 hours, and I know that the main premise was involving the Internet, so staying in the Arcade would defeat this purpose. It’s just that to me it all sort of fell into place a little too easy and fast. Also, Vanellope feeling trapped in a boring loop of her game and other feelings from the characters in the beginning were told rather than shown. I know already mentioned that I thought certain things weren’t “explained” well enough, but I mean that like, both visually and through dialogue. With the emotional parts of the movie’s conflicts, I think those developed well once Ralph and Vanellope got into the Internet, but it seemed “presented” almost at first. Again, I only saw it once and its not totally fresh in my mind anymore, so maybe after seeing it again it’ll clear this up.

okay so as for the aesthetic and animation of RBTI it was GORGEOUS!!! I love how Disney/Pixar can take things like the Internet or your brain (like in Inside Out) and turn them into working cities/structures that are creative and make sense! I really like that Pop Ups are maneuvered by sentient beings like street salespeople, since the feeling of online popups and ads is the same! Also, the Dark Web being the underbelly of the Internet “city” and all the avatars are dressed like theyre in Incognito mode is amazing. i also LOVED the viruses, since they looked like gross, scary, creepy fictional bugs or visual germs (they reminded me of Osmosis Jones in a way). How the viruses functioned, at least the Insecurity Virus, made sense for how I think most people imagine computer viruses to act. I honestly don’t know how that stuff happens, and I bet Disney knew most of their audiences dont either, so they took some artistic liberties with that in mind. But the virus was a clever plot device because it literally detected insecurities, both in that Ralph/Vanellope were insecure about their friendship, and neither of them “belonged” in the Internet.

ANOTHER THING is when Shank and her crew had to fight the Slaughter Race players, the distinction between player and NPC was clear and funny. It felt very GTA to me. How they handled Slaughter Race in general was great, since it was obviously a violent video game, but they didn’t tone it down too much to loose that feeling. I think it would’ve been cool to see cars and buildings “update” like they do in some games, too. OH the way that the Virus Ralphs joined together to make the Giant Ralph and that they kept moving to make the entire thing kinetic was SO CREEPY BUT COOL!!! that must have taken forever to animate.  I also noticed that on the Giant Ralph the little virus dudes were like laying down or posed a certain way to give the impression of different textures or colors on Giant Ralph, which is amazing!!! the filmmakers and animators paid so much care to the look and feel of this movie and it really paid off.

okay last few things before I forget: all of the main characters were great examples of positive and negative personality aspects that real people could reflect on. Ralph felt so much more openly emotional and body positive than in the first, which for a dude character is great!!  Vanellope has always been a great example of a girl who likes “tomboy” or “masculine” stuff but still likes cute and “girly” stuff (i mean she obviously wasn’t into the whole princess thing but she found her own way around it!). Felix and Tammy in RBTI were obviously an example on how married couples can still love each other just like the day they met! Did i mention how much I love Yesss? I love her SO MUCH!!! she wore a different outfit/hairstyle every time we saw her, she was fun and smart and over the course of the movie grows to actually care about Ralph and Vanellope beyond their Internet fame. the MUSIC was fantastic as always, and I love Imagine Dragon’s song and the Julia Michaels rendition of Vanellope’s song on Slaughter Race.

Just like the first one, this movie was funny, heartwarming, emotional, and really fun!! I hope it gets all the recognition and love it deserves. I can’t accurately say if I like this one of the previous better, since I’ve only seen it once. HOWEVER I ma really glad that Disney has made a lot of merch for RBTI since the first one got barely anything. All in all, I loved Ralph Breaks the Internet!!!!

P.S. Did yall see the after credits scene?

[loveourdawn]

SO. mono...

[IM SORRY IT GOT SO LONG]

there's so much to say and i know nobody cares but i just HAVE to get all my thoughts out of my chest or at least TRY to articulate everything i feel cause im just that kind of person. this may seem highly over-analyzed but that's just how i enjoy things. if i enjoy something so much i will overthink it, devour it to the last piece, swim to the deepest end. so to those who hate that type of stuff, im sorry? im very emotional ajsf  first of all, let me just say how absolutely genius this whole album is!! from the individual tracks to the collaborations to the album art and music video!!!! even the decision of calling it a 'playlist' instead of 'mixtape' is so AH! each factors contributed so well to the artistry and overall vibe of the album and you can see how raw and genuine this playlist is and how brilliantly thought out it is!!! there's an invisible thread of that youre-not-alone comforting melancholic feeling (kinda similar to the cathartic feeling you get listening to the rain falling) that connects each tracks together which makes it such a.. PLAYLIST?!! tokyo. i dont know how to express how much of a perfect track this is as an intro!!! "life is a word but sometimes you cannot say"  KJSBKJCABC ""why do love and hate sound just the same to me"" sjvkjsdnvbsjd such a good song to help introduce the longing vibe of the album. the ending whistle!!! the waves!!! THE FEELINGS!!!!!!!! seoul. must say i looked forward to this track the most. i was extremely curious to see how rm and honne would combine their styles skbjs ive been an avid honne fan since uhhh idk forever?? it was impossible not to have such high expectations but FUCK they just went way beyong my expectations!! love that it still has the groovy honne flavor that i love so much :,) and joon's play on "seoul" and "soul" and the way he used descriptions of the city to express how he feels? "the river harboring too much han" AHH NICEE SO SMART overall a great groovy tune but in a sad mellow way? moonchild. another much anticipated track because of the correlation i thought it would have with track 4o'clock which i love so so dearly. i just ;____; love this song so much ;___; ahhh the lyrics fuCK "we're part of the moonlight" "we're born to be sad" "all the pain, all the sorrow, thats your destiny" "we gotta dance in the rain dance in the PAIN" "MOONCHILD YOU SHINE WHEN YOU RISE IT'S YOUR TIME" "moonchild, dont cry" i just love this so much im just gonna burst. i love the personification of  the night sky/ nightscape. i loveeee the last verse of this song when joon says someone will see your thorns and be comforted LIKE?? FUC KKK "WE ARE EACH OTHER'S NIGHTSCAPE, EACH OTHER'S MOON" [REST.] badbye. I LOVE INTERLUDES! and i love how short most interludes are.. so contrary to popular belief, this song is just the right length imo. (but that doesnt mean i wouldnt listen to a 24hr loop of this song) FUCKIN GET IT eAeon!! the static in the intro contradicts the dreamy floaty feel of this song and i LIVE FOR IT!! "kill me kill me softly have me be scattered fragments" "you know why i cry" I LIVE FOR THE PLAY ON "GOODBYE" OKAY SHAVJBA a very dreamy tune!! (could almost pass as a beach house song honestly) outofplace. i really dont know the correct translation of the title but i guess out of place is the best? this is that song you listen to lying on your floor staring at the night sky.. when you feel so tiny and like NOTHING. the lyrics punctured my heart! the third verse when joon starts belittling himself... I FELT THAT "is this all your worth" "need to do so much better" ah really this is the song i resonate very much with.. when joon says he's so far from who he wants to be although he sometimes crosses paths with that person im so bvjsdbvjbsd [SCREAM]"all i need is me but why do i feel lonely" "i feel so lonely when im with me" "one may receive rain but only that way can you also receive rain" THIS SONG IS NAMJOON'S HUG WHEN YOU FEEL LONELY AND INSIGNIFICANT AND IM SO THANKFUL everythingoes. kinda sounds like a soundtrack and a sunset-going-into-night song.. i didnt expect the track with NELL to be like this i love surprises! when joon goes hard YES! the rain in the end :,) the lyrics are very comforting!!! and the song has such a youcandoit build up that just makes me want to GET UP AND RUN??? "everything has to hurt" "YOU CAN NOT ALWAYS STAY INSIDE A DREAM" [@ me next time sis] this song is telling me (you) that we wiill feel hurt the wind will blow but but BUT IT WILL PASS AND IF THIS ISNT THE BEST MOST COMFORTING BEAUTIFUL THING YOU CAN SAY TO SOMEONE THEN SKVBSDJVBS forever rain. MMMMMmmmMMM that rain sound transition from previous track!! unusual to see the last track to be the title track? BUT NICE. THE MUSIC VIDEO!! i have a deep admiration for animation! JOON'S MELLOW RAPPING IM FADING!! the LYRICS! "let me breathe a bit slower cause my life, my rap is all too fast" sometimes i miss the slow buzz of life :( this reminded me of how much i hate moving so fast how much i actually hate time sometimes.. "if i could knock somewhere if i could kiss the world so hard would someone welcome me, maybe embrace my weary body" THE DESPARATION IN THIS LINE! this whole song depicts what a lonely soul would do for some comfort/acceptance/love(?) but in the end, it is these lengths we take that keep us alive and help us survive overall, i really really love this playlist. in such a short amount of time, it has become very dear to me. with this release, i was able to discover another side of namjoon, his poetic side, his vulnerable side, the not strong leader-rapper RM side.. and i got to bask in his thoughts, in the works of his mind and heart and i find myself falling even more in love with him.