#yes i know my videos keep getting more and more nonsensical

[reallife6anoufriev6boy6]

caldre smut fic

includes spanking, praise, degradation, daddy kink, andre being overly worried, etc.

note: this came from a post and then my boyfriend found the full video, so i decided to write this….enjoy your slop/j

calvin was situated over andres lap while he sat on his bed, jeans pulled down to his knees to show his grey boxers.

cal had wanted to try something different this time around, but andre was hesitant.

it was weird to put it simply and he didnt want to hurt his boyfriend. although, theyve done a lot worse - even before they established they were dating.

so, nonetheless he still tries.

“just do it, ‘dre. itll be fine,” cal reassures him, looking back at him “im *asking* you to do it, arent i?”

andre slowly nodded “well, yeah, but i dont want to - you know, hurt you.”

the blonde smiled, enjoying all of the others worry and care “thats the point though, andre. its supposed to hurt.”

hes not wrong, it was supposed to hurt. he just didnt want to get too carried away and hurt him *too* badly.

calvin seems to know what hes thinking, so he adds “i trust you. i know you wont make it too bad.”

with that andre lets out a sigh, flexing his hands to let his knuckles crack “if it hurts too bad youll tell me, yeah?”

calvin quickly nodded, too eager to worry about that sort of thing. he liked how much andre cared, but sometimes it would get in the way of things.

however, the brunette finally gets on with it, trusting that cal will tell him if it becomes too much for him.

andre lays his hand flat over calvins ass, lifting it before bringing it right back down. it wasnt anything too hard at first, but it wasnt too soft either.

cal lets out a short squeak, burying his face into the bedsheets. it felt good although it wasnt exactly the roughness he was looking for.

he brings his hand up again and then back down, taking note of the way the others body seemed to jolt.

he does it a third time and then a forth, now being able to feel cals erection hard against his thigh.

“do it - a little harder, please, andre.” he begged, voice muffled from the bed sheets. he *needed* it to be as hard and rough as possible.

andre hesitated again though, but ultimately obliged - he brought his hand down harder this time which pulls a whiny moan out of his boyfriend.

“was that alright?” he asked, wanting to make sure he was doing it how he wanted him to.

“yeah - god, yeah, ‘dre. keep doing it like that *please.*” his eagerness and begging seemed to take a toll on him. it was always one of the things that got to him.

andre hits him even harder, reveling in the cry he gets in return. its beautiful, really, he thought all the noises cal made were gorgeous.

he gets ready to do it again, but is interrupted by feeling the other grind down against his thigh. it makes his breath hitch and he gets an idea - an idea he has no clue if calvin will like or not, but he does it anyway.

andre slams down his hand twice as hard, getting an even louder cry from cal “dont fucking grind against me unless i tell you otherwise, alright?”

the blonde is ecstatic as soon as he says that - he loves when andre is dominant and can use his naturally commanding tone for something like this.

“yeah - yes, sir - daddy, ah, fuck,” it comes out in a string of nonsense, but hes able to catch onto what he says and it makes his erection strain against his pants.

he doesnt reply though and just lays another slap down, listening to the moaning and whining.

he decides though that he wants to change this up a little bit.

he takes a moment to pull down calvins grey boxers, exposing him fully now. he doesnt seem to mind it - only letting out a whimper from the lack of touch.

andre gives him what he wants again though, flattening out his hand once more and hitting him.

it hurts more now without the barrier and cal lets it show, pressing his hips down as if to move away from the other.

the brunette takes notice and lays down an even harsher hit “i thought you wanted this, calvin? did you change your mind?”

cal cant get over the way he says his name, whimpering again as he shook his head, but that wasnt good enough. he lets out a yelp as hes hit once again.

“yeah - i do, i want it, sir,” it comes out, almost stuttery “please - im sorry.”

andre hummed, letting his hand rest over his ass as he rubbed at the mark already starting to form “tell me how much you want it, cal.”

the blonde swallowed hard, but does his best to answer “so, so bad, ‘dre. i - i wanna feel your hands on me,” he yelped as he was cut off by another slap, but he continued “please, daddy - shit, it feels so good.”

andre wasnt sure if he was dreaming or not. this was too good to be true and he couldnt get enough of it.

he then grabbed a fistful of his silky blonde hair, yanking his head up to look at him.

there were *tears* streaking down his face and there was spit covering his mouth and chin.

he hadnt even realized he started crying and he wants to ask if hes okay - if this was getting to be too much for him, but his boyfriend already knew what he was going to say, so he gives him a short, subtle nod for him to continue.

thats all he needed.

“are you sure thats what you want?,” he questioned, yanking his head back a little further “you want me to keep hurting you like youre some *slut?*”

the blonde nodded eagerly, sniffling “please, please daddy. i need it so fucking bad - you have no idea.”

he lets go of his hair and gets ready to continue, but the other is confused when he doesnt get right back to it.

however, his confusion turns to excitement when he hears andre unbuckling his belt and sliding it out of the loops on his pants.

andre holds both ends and doesnt hesitate to smack it right down against him, hearing the string of sounds and sobs it earns.

he does it again and again - continuing to do it over and over again while he watched the area turn a pretty shade of pink and red.

it was beautiful. he thought calvin looked like an angel no matter what they were doing - even if it something as dirty as this.

“oh, oh ��dre,” he moaned, digging his nails into the bed sheets “you gotta let - let me do it, daddy. oh, you have to.” its obvious what he means and he figured it wouldnt hurt to let him.

“only if you can behave - dont hump me like some damn dog.” before he can even finish his sentence, he was already grinding down against him like earlier. it felt good to finally relieve the pain.

at this point the blonde was panting like a dog, grinding down against andres thigh so hard that his jeans were starting to irritate his cock, but he makes no effort to stop him.

“oh, fuck, fuck - you, you gotta let me cum, daddy, please-“ it comes out in a sob - so desperate and needy to get himself off no matter what.

andre doesnt have a reason not to let him, so he agreed “yeah, go ahead, cal.” he says it all soft, contrasting from his earlier tone.

calvin takes that and grinds his hips down just about as hard as he could while andre takes the opportunity to lay another hit or two on him.

it was only a moment later that he was cumming all over his thigh with a high pitched moan - moaning andres name as loud as he could, just for him to hear.

its music to his ears, he thinks. all of this was perfect.

calvin is exhausted by the time hes finished, letting himself lay on andres lap while he comes down from his high.

the brunette sets the belt down and placed his hand back over the marks, rubbing over them gently again “that was really good.” he says it, sounding embarrassed for even being into it.

calvin lets out a breathless laugh, finding it cute how embarrassed he seemed to be.

he managed to sit up after a moment, trying to get over the stinging pain in his body “you did good too, ‘dre. youre the best at this,” he compliments him, leaning in to give him a quick kiss before pulling away “im so lucky to have you.”

the contrast between his words and what they did was amusing, but andre didnt care. he just smiled as his face warmed up.

although before he can comment, cals already looking down at his pants.

“oh, andre, your pants,” he tries to hold back his laughter “youre too easy.”

he gives him a confused look, but when he looks down he becomes about a hundred times more embarrassed. there was a wet spot right over his front, obviously from cumming himself.

“goddamnit,” he hissed under his breath “ruined my damn jeans.”

“they were already ruined anyway,” he gestured to the more obvious white spot that was from cal rather then himself “you can just borrow mine, i dont care.”

cal could say he was lucky all he wanted, but at the end of the day andre was even luckier then him.

“thanks, man,” he sighed “do you need me to do anything for you? you know - because…” he was still worried he had hurt him too much, but his boyfriend was quick to reassure him again.

“im fine, andre. dont worry so much,” he smiled as he wiped away the remaining tears in his eyes, face now tacky and dry “you did great.”

he finds it hard to believe him, but he forces himself to anyway.

“im allowed to worry, cal. youre my - uh, shit…” his voice trails off, not being able to say the word. it was all still so new so he didnt want to mess up and say the wrong thing.

“just because im your *boyfriend* now doesnt change anything,” he says it for him “im still the same person.”

he placed his hand on the side of his face, kissing him again. the other quickly reciprocated and leaned into it.

“i love you, ‘dre.”

“i love you too, cal.”

[spookyscarysnails]

Father Garcia's secret identity

Other silly faith edits

[onelittlespiral]

FML: Video

“Shoot, I don’t know about this. Something about watching this feels weird.”

My bro just kept holding my face, “You said you wanted to be one of the bros dude. Just keep watching, this video will tell you everything you need to know”

“Yeah, you said that, but this is just static and nonsense, and something about it has me on edge. Just let me get out of here.”

“But don’t it speak to you? Isn’t there something you want to let out jock boy.”

“I…no, no I… I can’t… stop, what’s happening?”

“Jock boy is about to learn what being a bro is all about. Jock boy wants to listen carefully to his bro and watch the video.”

“No no no… but, it… it sounds so… calm…”

“Yeah jock boy, just like a mind vacation. Just let it happen. Good jock boy.”

“Must… listen… to… bruuuuhhh.”

Sometimes it takes a little convincing, but eventually they all fall. Their eyes grow wide before their muscles go limp and mouths drop open. It usually only takes a little bit for them to process. But when they finally do come too, it’s like a whole different world in there. The first one I did by accident. Found the weird file and sent it to my roommate as a joke. It wasn’t until I got back from class that I saw just how much power I now had.

Gone was the theater kid, in his place was a souped up bro ready to knock back some cold ones, and get sweaty in the gym. It was a surprise when he began rubbing my thigh in the sauna, and pulled me in for a kiss. I melted in his arms as he positioned me on the bench and began stretching me out. I was so relaxed he slid in with no lube, fucking me raw and hard as his tongue kept my mouth distracted from moaning. Thought I just got lucky there, happened to get a gay guy. But I quickly learned for him now, “any hole’s a goal.” And it was confirmed when I tried it with a second guy:

Good old Southern boy, and as straight as they came. Thought he was hot shit in class. Sent him the file when we were on a group project together. By the next day when he came in, he couldn’t add two numbers together with a calculator. He was still smug as hell but in bed, let’s just say he earned it. He was about as thick as an ear of corn, and he knew how to plow a field and spread his seed.

I had tried a couple others since then. A scholarship rival here. A group mate there. A couple disappointing dates that ended up really turning the night around. But my friend had finally gotten curious and started asking some questions. I didn’t need someone to question what was happening. I needed a lifting buddy. This was my first time trying to edit the file to get some different results.

“Hey, bro? What happened last night? I feel hung over as fuck..”

Holy shit he was massive. “Nothing too much bro. You just got fucking shit faced.”

“Huhuhu, yeah,” he gawfed, “sounds right.

It was time to try the trigger and see how much the changes worked, “Hey, jock boy, tell me your name.”

His laughter stopped as his eyes glossed over, “My name is Jack, but my friends just call me Jacked.”

“What do you want more than anything, jock boy?”

“To serve my bros,” he replied.

“Will you do anything for them?”

His mind flickered for a moment. I saw a look of confusion pass over him. He looked down, “Hey, what… WHAT HAPPENED? What did you do-“

I walked up and held his face“JOCK BOY, STOP.”

He tried to fight it, his mind pulling him back to the abyss. But as I watched his body slowly relax, I knew I had won even before he said, “Ye-yeah. Sure thing bro.”

“Jock Boy, will you do anything for your bros?”

His face broke out in a shiteating grin, “Fuck yeah, anything for my bros.”

“New exercise routine. You, face down, ass up. My bed. Now.”

He excitedly ran back to my bedroom. I heard the bed squeal under his weight. Good to know I could edit things. Can’t always let my bros have all the fun.

[halsteadlover]

𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐬

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Paired: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader.

• Requested: no.

• Summary: your baby boy takes his first steps leaving Spencer a mumbling mess.

• Warnings: none, just fluff.

• Word count: 1591.

• A/N: just a quick Spencer fic since I realized I’m only writing for Jay once again (what can I say he’ll always be my first love). I hope you’ll like it, y’all know I’m a sucker for dad’s fics 😭. Please comment, reblog and like if you want. Thank you so much for all your support I love you all so much, my inbox and dms are always open if you want to talk ❤️

“Spencer! Baby! Oh my God come here now!“.

Your voice made Spencer jump on his chair. He was writing a work report he didn’t manage to finish that day and for which Hotch would’ve his head if he didn’t turn it back by the next day.

Spencer's heart lost a beat and fear swept over him as his mind began to project every worst-case scenario possible.

He got up from his study desk, dropping his pen carelessly to the floor, and literally ran to the living room where he knew you and your baby were.

“Baby! What happened?! Are you all right? Is Noah okay?” He asked with concern and you instantly felt guilty for worrying him like that.

You were sitting on the floor, legs crossed while Noah was standing next to you and you were holding him by his little hands. He was babbling something nonsensical and began to fidget when he turned and saw his father, a huge smile on his face.

“Sorry love, everything’s okay. I didn't mean to scare you,” you giggled as you saw Spencer visibly relax and heave a sigh of relief.

“You gave me a fucking heart attack I thought something had happened,” he breathed out with a hand on his chest as he could feel his heart still pounding.

How long had he become so jumpy? He didn't know, he just knew that since he had become a father every little change and every little thing made him jump on the spot, making him tremendously worried about his child. God, that little being was making him lose years of life with each passing day.

“Don't ever do that again please,” Spencer admonished you as he approached you sternly but his expression immediately softened as his eyes rested on Noah who kept fidgeting wanting nothing more than to go to his father. “What have you been up to little one? You like to scare your dada huh? You are so lucky you and your mom are adorable, I hope both of you know that”.

You let go of his little hands but still being close to him as you proudly watched Noah hold himself up. His little legs trembled slightly as he continued to babble something.

“Oh god...” Spencer murmured almost imperceptibly in shock. Was it really going to happen? In that instant he realized why you had called him and he almost had a heart attack again.

“Yes baby! Come to dada, come here, I know you can do it,” he continued to encourage him, approaching him and kneeling down so he could immediately catch him if he fell. He stretched his arms toward his baby, a huge smile on his lips as he invited Noah to take his first steps.

You went to get your phone at the speed of light, wanting to capture that precious moment in a video so you could keep it with you forever.

Noah brought one leg forward and the other with instability, taking his first step and making his parents jump for joy.

The living room filled with the sounds of little squeals of excitement and clapping hands as you both continued to encourage your son to continue taking baby steps.

Spencer never felt such joy before, maybe he had a similar feeling the day he married you but seeing his baby walk, taking his first steps towards him, damn it, that feeling was something indescribable, something he’d never forget.

“Yeah buddy! You're so good, you're doing great my love. Come to your dada! I’m right here… “ Spencer continued to say while taking small steps backwards while Noah instead took the same number towards him.

His eyes didn't leave his child even for a second, almost forgetting you were there next to them while filming the whole scene with your cell phone. He analyzed every movement that little ray of sunshine was making, the way he was so focused, the way his walk was unsteady and rickety, the way he looked at him with a smile on his little face as he let slip some little frustrated screams when he never seemed to be able to reach his father. He wanted to imprint all these little details in his memory and never before did he thank whoever was up there for his eidetic memory.

Noah eventually stopped in his tracks and Spencer caught him before he even hit the floor, standing up and holding him close.

“Yes! You did it buddy!” Spencer exclaimed in joy as he lifted little Noah into the air who continued to giggle and drool while he waved his little arms. He showered kisses on his plump little cheeks, not being able to contain his joy. “I'm so proud of you little one, I love you so much.”

You were a complete mess as you looked at Spencer and the way he held his baby with so much love and pride, you could see it in his face, the way he looked at him. That man loved his son more than any other person in the world and then more than ever you couldn't help but think you couldn't have chosen a better father for your child.

Spencer gently caressed Noah's head, cradling him in his arms as his emotions overwhelmed him.

He had never been good at controlling them and keeping them at bay was harder than ever. He couldn't believe how quickly time was passing, how was it possible his son was already walking?

It seemed like yesterday that he held him as soon as he was born.

“Spence…” you called him when you saw the way Spencer had sheltered his face on Noah's small shoulders, as if to hide himself. You placed a hand on your husband's shoulder, immediately noticing he was crying.

“Take him,” he whispered and you picked Noah up as Spencer went to sit on the couch, hands on his face and elbows resting on his knees as he sobbed uncontrollably.

“Oh baby you'll make me cry too.”

As if you weren’t already a fountain of tears.

You hugged your baby too, crying with joy all the tears you had in your body while he unaware played with your hair.

“I love you so much my little angel,” you whispered, giving him a kiss on the cheek, thanking God for giving you such a beautiful gift.

You turned your head towards Spencer, noticing how he was sobbing and when he raised his head and you looked at each other, you both burst into a loud laughter, aware of how disastrous each other looked.

You sat next to him and he wasted no time in wrapping a hug around your shoulders. He pulled you towards him and left a kiss on your head, while tears continued to run down his cheeks, his eyes on Noah who just didn't seem to stay still.

“I… Damn… I can’t do this…” he cried, bringing his hands to his face after leaning against the back of the sofa and drying his tears.

How could anyone be so fucking happy?

He had never felt anything like this, he didn't know how to react and he hated not knowing how he felt.

He was afraid. Afraid it’d be too good to be true.

What had he done to deserve all this? What had he done to have the family he had always dreamed of?

Images and memories kept playing in his mind. From the moment you told him you were pregnant, from the joy and fear of having to be a father, from when you found out you were expecting a boy to the moment he felt him kicking for the first time in your womb. He remembered watching your belly grow for nine months until he finally held his son in his arms for the first time and now seeing him take his first steps.

He felt so incredibly grateful, so damn lucky.

You caressed his arm, trying to comfort him even though you were crying even more than him.

He tried to compose himself but all he had to do was pick up his baby again to let down more tears of joy, meanwhile laughing with you. It was so surreal.

He wrapped his other arm around your shoulders and pulled you back to him, letting you rest your head on his chest as you looked at Noah standing on his father's thighs.

“I love you so much baby, thank you for giving me the best gift I could ever ask for,” he whispered after leaving a sweet kiss on your forehead making your heart do a somersault in your chest. Even though years had passed, you never got tired of hearing him say it.

You lifted your head and pressed your lips to his in a chaste kiss as butterflies roamed freely across your stomach. “I love you so much Spence.”

You burst out laughing when Noah grabbed a lock of Spencer's hair and started pulling it, making the grown man let out a whine.

“Jesus christ how can they be so small but so strong?” Spencer complained as he tried to loosen his baby’s grip on his hair. The scene was comical, you didn't know if the way Noah pulled Spencer’s hair made you laugh more or your husband's face still streaked with tears and his eyes still red.

But he didn't care, even though Noah was hurting him quite a bit, he couldn't stop smiling, thinking he wouldn't change this for anything else in the world.

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry, @halstead-severide-fan, @mrspeacem1nusone, @allivzs, @omniaimy, @cursedashes

Spencer Reid tag list: @blorp-bee, @s1lverhand, @novabckly

Click here to be added to the tag list ❤️

Main Masterlist

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Side blog -> @halsteadloverslibrary

[melodygatesauthor]

Pillow Talk

Steven Grant X f!Reader

Not Beta Read - Thank you to @moonknightly for enabling this nonsense because I really needed (not) a distraction from requests and next week's chapter for A Bit Dodgy hehe. (Love you)

Summary:

Steven is waiting for you to get home from work but is feeling a little worked up. He normally waits for you to get home but this time he's just too impatient.

Tags/Warnings:

NSFW, written in like an hour, not beta-read, pillow fucking, consensual voyeurism, smut, self love, no actual sex just Steven fucking a pillow.

Word Count: 1.1k

You were gone at work, and Steven was feeling needy, desperate even. He watched the clock. You weren’t going to be home for another hour. You’d recorded a video ages ago for him, just in case he was feeling like this and needed something to relieve himself to. He’d never used it though. Jake had at least once, and Marc said he never did but Steven knew better. He just always knew that watching it wouldn’t satisfy that urge he had deep down, and the payoff was always better if he just waited for you, but tonight he couldn’t wait, he was too worked up.

Steven grabbed his phone and pulled up the video. He went to the bedroom and stripped himself down. If he was going to do it, he wanted to at least be able to close his eyes and imagine you were there, and he couldn’t very well do that with all his clothes on. He was planning on just the usual - palm himself to completion - self love session, but when climbing onto the bed his cock accidentally brushed against the pillow.

Oh shit…

It was so soft, and if he folded it just right…yes like that…he could fold it in half and put his…f-fuck.

With the video playing in front of him on the mattress, and his cock sandwiched in the fold of the pillow, he felt like he was with you. It wasn’t quite the same. It wasn’t wet and warm like your pretty little cunt that he watched you fucking your fingers into on the video, but it was as close as he could get in a pinch. He thrusted forward, feeling the glide of his length between the soft material. Steven whined loudly, it felt so damn good.

When he looked down he could see the head of his cock peek out, red and leaking all over the white pillowcase. He held onto the pillow in one hand, and he used the other to hold himself up while he fucked into the cotton plush like it was you. The bed was creaking from how hard he thrusted, each drag of his length more delicious than the last.

A soft whine escaped your lips in the video, and Steven felt his cock twitch upward in response. You were so pretty, spread out with your fingers plunged deep inside of your wet heat. Steven could imagine it, soft and wet. The pillow was becoming more and more slick the longer he kept churning his hips into it. He was getting close, he could feel the way it pulsated against the cotton fabric.

You moaned in the video. “Yes love,” he said as though he were talking you through it, “that’s it. Oh my god, you sound so-oh-shit-oh-”

“Steven?” You said, and Steven froze and slowly turned to face you.

The sounds of your moaning were still playing on his phone. His eyes went wide, watching you standing there in the doorway to the bedroom with your work bag slung over your shoulder and lips curled into a smile. Steven felt his face heat up. He’d never been so embarrassed before, being caught doing something so depraved. He was fucking his pillow. How pathetic and desperate did someone have to be? Why couldn’t he have just waited for you to get home?

“I-I’m so sorry love I couldn’t-oh my god this is so embarrassing. I didn’t realize you’d be-and I was so-I’m sorry I really am. It’s disgusting I know and-”

“Don’t let me stop you,” you gestured for him to continue, “keep going.”

He stared in amazement as you dropped your bag on the ground and leaned against the doorframe with your arms crossed. You bit your bottom lip and looked at him like he was the most delicious thing you’d ever seen. You were…into this? It couldn’t be true. This was weird right? Him fucking a pillow and imagining it was you…there was no way-

“Come on, pretend like I’m not even here.”

“Y-yeah…alright love, alright.”

He pressed his lips together tightly and looked back to the video. Something about knowing he was being watched made his cock that much harder, and glide that much easier through the tight hole he’d made with the pillow. It felt good knowing you were right there, getting some sort of pleasure from his embarrassing action; something about that made it less humiliating and all the more satisfying.

“Tell me how good it feels,” your soft voice broke through the harsh creaking of the bed.

“So good love, not like the-real thing-oh but as close as I can get,” the breath punched out of his lungs between every word. “So soft. S’like fuckin’ a cloud.”

He heard you moan in the video, grabbing his attention there once again. So pretty, the sounds you made for him. You did that just for him, and now he was doing this for you, giving you what you asked for, fucking that pillow like it was his job…because that’s what you asked him to do. He was there, he was right there.

When Steven came, he let go of the pillow, dropping both hands on the mattress and rolling his hips forward, letting the base of his cock drag over the fabric. Hot white spurts shot from the head of his thick shaft, making a mess of the mattress and leaving stray droplets on his phone. You’d never seen Steven come from this angle before, back arched, the muscles of his rear flexed tight, head thrown back while his eyes fluttered in insurmountable pleasure. He groaned and whimpered like he always did when he fucked you, such a sweet sound, you could never get tired of hearing it.

When he was finished, he fell over, breathing like he’d just run a marathon. You walked over to him, sitting on the bed and patting his bare hip. His chest was heaving when his eyes fluttered open and he looked at you.

“That looked good…really good.”

“It was…it was good love,” he sighed a heavy and sated sigh.

“Good,” you giggled, “never been jealous of a pillow before but…today’s a first.”

Steven sat up at this and pushed you onto your back, hovering over you with his face just inches from yours. He gave you a soft kiss.

“Well if you give me a minute, love, I’ll make sure you get some too, yeah?”

You laughed, “yeah.”

Steven Grant Masterlist

All Moon Knight Masterlist

[clonedchaos]

My Chaos Theory Season 2 Nonsensical Rambles! 🦖🦕

Okay, okay. This season was sooo good y’all! For those of you that have watched the season all the way through already, feel free to read. They’re just my comments, notes, and theories that I wrote down after watching each episode. It’s a whole lot of nonsense, really. THIS INCLUDES SPOILERS SO DO NOT READ BELOW THE CUT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE ANY!!!

Happy JWCT Season 2 release day, too! 🎉 Happy Viewing! And thank you so much to our wonderful writers, animators, voice actors, and everyone in between who came together to make this absolutely phenomenal series come to life! I appreciate you all so very much for all your dedication towards a project that means the absolute world to me! ❤️💐 This season really tugged at the heart strings, and even got some tears out of me at the end. I want everyone to watch this beloved series spoiler free, so last warning— HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD! I hope you all enjoy it just as much as me.

And again, thank you so so so much to the people who brought this amazing series to fruition. I’ve been struggling a lot lately, and this show— and its franchise— has really made the hard days in my life more bearable to overcome. It has helped me in many ways, and I just wanted you to know how much its meant to me (if they somehow see this). So… Thank you. 💐🌸���

🦕🦖 Camp Fam For Life! 🦖🦕

Episode 1:

KENJI WHAT THE HECK?! Why are you being so self sacrificing?! (I know why, but still) Painful to watch. The little spark of Yaz’s and Kenji’s old friendship is so cute, and I really hope she can help him work through this trauma more.

Okay, the beginning with Sammy and Yaz was so simple yet adorable. And the way Yaz wraps her arms around Sammy and pulls her close— STOP MY HEART! 😭🩷💜

Majungasaurus’s are cannibals in this franchise? I need to brush up on research for their species, but I’m just used to having a lot of them in one enclosure when playing Jurassic World Evolution. I’m glad they’re finally getting some spotlight, I’ve always had a soft spot for them. (Okay, I have a soft spot for every carnivore in this entire franchise but you know what I mean).

The lightning and animation was absolutely incredible, especially in the storm sequences. They did great at making the atmosphere fill you with a sense of dread as the characters were getting stalked at every turn. That one frame of Darius hiding behind a crate and holding up his phone towards the Majunga is a personal favorite of mine.

The fluffy moment of Darius, Ben, and Sammy trying to be the first to match a roar with its proper dinosaur was soooo cute. My favorite parts of this series have always been times when they can just relax and have fun— I’m a fluff enjoyer, what can I say? One thing this show really excels at is fostering a lovely friendship between the campers. Their interactions are always lovely.

Darius being the first one to reach out to Kenji and haul him from the boat… I’m glad they’re slowly reconnecting again.

Okay, LETS TALK about the Ben noticing Brooklynn thing. I feel like the DLN fumbled the bag in terms of keeping her a secret. Like… why did they have her in the video? If they’re using her for their own gain like I’m assuming, why would you want to give anyone the inkling that she could be alive? I guess they just didn’t think no one would notice? I mean, she’s the only one not wearing the mask in the photo.

Not Kenji making jokes about his deceased father… It’s in character for him, yes. But still… as his friends said: “Too soon.”

Episode 2:

I read the title “Marooned 5” as “Maroon 5”…

Already I love the new character. It’s really cute how Zayna’s friendship with the Gallimimus sort of mirrors Darius and his ties towards the same species. The Stegos also looked like they were protecting her when they sensed danger.

Sammy being the mama bear of the group now is so 🥺🥺. She’s still the cheerful, positive gal she always was, but I love how she’s matured as she’s grown up.

Kenji trolling Darius got a laugh out of me. Brothers will be brothers.

Suchomimus appreciation! I absolutely adore its patterning, it reminds me a lot of the African savanna’s. It’s ironic, given that Sucho’s were first discovered in Africa. I wonder if that’s merely coincidence, or maybe, just maybe, they’re being transported to continents that they would have lived on millions of years ago? Could it be the DLN’s doing? Or am I just looking into it too much? (Future Me here: Yes, you are)

KENJI WHY DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?!?!?! Bro literally squared up with a Suchomimus. Admire the bravery Kenj, but you’re making my anxiety worse, my guy. 😭😭

I really enjoyed the hints of cohabitation that was present in this episode. Humans gave the stegosaurus’s food, while the stegos offered them protection from predators. THIS is stuff I wanted to see in Jurassic World Dominion. I wanted to see HOW humans coexisted with these dinosaurs.

THE CONCEPT ART *chef’s kiss*

Episode 3:

Ah. We come to the episode a large part of the fandom has been waiting on… A Brooklynn backstory. Boy, was it a doozy. For starters, I didn’t know Brooklynn was a biker. Really hyping up that bad girl persona.

The campers keeping in touch on a zoom call makes this so much more upsetting. They still seemed very close up until Brooklynn died. Then, they just lost touch for a while.

I’ve started realizing I relate a lot to Brooklynn, especially in this episode. She’s overworked and “all over the place”. As someone who can sometimes put too much on her own shoulders, I 100% understand the level of stress she’s putting on herself. Not to mention she can be so caught up in one thing that she misses the actual moment in reality. It’s something I myself am working on; adhd doesn’t exactly help. But I definitely get where’s she’s coming from.

THE DARIUS CONFESSION STRESSED ME OUT HOLY CRAP— Like, the way Brooklynn inches away, Darius quickly tries to change the subject. Gods, it made me anxious just watching. I literally put my head in my hands and started mumbling to myself during the scene. (I’m slowly going insane 😭)

Seeing Brooklynn in pain and anguish once she realized how she lost her arm was heartbreaking. This was the time she needed her friends most. But for their safety in Brooklynn’s eyes, they couldn’t be there.

THE POOR COMPY WITH A CONE AROUND HIS NECK! 😭😭😭 No nibbling, he’s banished to cone jail!!!

So… the camp fam and Brooklynn’s dads came together for her funeral… I could have only imagined how rough that would’ve been. I’m honestly glad they didn’t show it, because I would’ve been balling uncontrollably for the next hour. And the fact that she was going to reveal her false death to her friends and family RIGHT before the DFW came in and screwed it up?!?! Ahhhh!!!!

THAT GUY?! WASN’T HE THE ONE WHO COULDN’T SHOOT A GUN IN SEASON 1?! AND SAMMY’S FARM WAS A SETUP, DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT?!?!?!?! (Someone please clarify, idk if he was talking about farms in general or if it meant Sammy, I forgot)

Episode 4:

Heck yeah! Malta! Crossing my fingers they show it in a later episode.

The small moment of Sammy watching Zayna and her mom… I NEED to know what went on between her and her parents.

Love the parallel between the opening of JW Dominion and Brooklynn’s escape at the farm. It’s a nice little throwback.

Dubai? Why Dubai? I absolutely love the mystery aspect, it’s like the more they reveal, the more questions are brought to the surface. The writers and everyone really went above and beyond this season.

Episode 5:

Sammy acting as the protective older sister of Zayna is so in character for her. “14 and 3/4. She’s still countin’ quarters, Kenj!”

Okay, I probably should’ve said this in an earlier episode, but Ronnie having the user Clever Girl just makes me so inexplicably happy.

SOYONA SANTOS?!?! AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

WE’VE WON GUYS, WE’VE WON!!!! GUYS IM LOSING MY MIND AS IM TYPING THIS!!! IVE ALWAYS WANTED HER TO HAVE A BIGGER PART TO PLAY AND HOLY MOLY SHE DOES! OF COURSE SHES THE BROKER! HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS?!?!?! AND IT’S HER ACTUAL ACTRESS VOICING HER TOO!!!

*ahem* Anyways… I’ll try and keep my cool.

Soyona is artsy? She’s very demure, very mindful. In all actuality, I’ve always been very interested by her character. She’s very poised an elegant, yet calm and calculating at the same time. Her and Brooklynn having a sort of “chess match of wits” which was very entertaining to watch.

Well, Camp Fam, looks like we know where Red has been all this time. I wonder if Red is Soyona’s favorite of the pack, much like Blue is to Owen.

Poor Yaz having to share a boat with Kenji and Ben while they’re arguing like an old married couple. She’s such a mood, no wonder I kin her.

Episode 6:

Poor Ben. Why is everyone having panic attacks? 😭😭😭

I think it’s interesting how Yaz, whom is the most introverted of the 6, ends up being the peacekeeper in this season. She knows when her friends are hiding something, and she’s going back and forth trying to help everyone out all at once. Her and Brooklynn are pretty similar in that regard, I’ve noticed.

Sammy’s a vegetarian? I guess it makes sense given her love of animals.

OKAY THE HIPPO VS SUCHO SCENE?!?!?! THEY LEFT YAZ?!?! Nononono I’m panicking!!! SAMMY’S FACE WHEN SHE REALIZED!!! I’m so worried, she definitely must’ve gotten a concussion from that hit.

I really wanna know if Red would have attacked Soyona during her deal with Brooklynn. Every cut in film is directed with a purpose. If they’re showing you something, it’s meant with intent. Maybe it’s a coincidence they kept cutting toward Red and having her in the limelight between them, but was the Raptor debating having Brooklynn in charge of her? Maybe Atrociraptors aren’t THAT smart, but I’m curious to know. After all, it’s implied Soyona raised them with a personal connection. If Red is similar to Blue, would she had done it had Brooklynn asked?

Episode 7:

Sammy’s 100% in distress mode. She doesn’t care if what she’s doing is level headed, she just wants to protect her girlfriend. And honestly… I could blame her. If I were in her position, I would’ve reacted the same.

I know I’m supposed to be scared of the Suchomimus and all that, but… it looked so adorable when it was curled up!!! Darn it, carnivores can be cute too!!!

I love how Darius tries his best to talk to Zayna… with Sammy sitting right behind them. Like Darius she’s hearing EVERY WORD you say my man 😭. And Zayna’s RESPONSE and EXPRESSION! “Sammy’s girlfriend is by herself surrounded by killer dinosaurs. Why would I take anything she says personally?” 😐 She is very mature for her age, honestly.

Flying Pterosaurs… ITS ALWAYS THE FLYING PTEROSAURS THAT RUIN EVERYTHING!!!

More animals coexisting was fun. Well, coexisting as in Sucho’s eat hippos for a late night snack and Lions eat Dimorphodons for dinner. I’m sure it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, of course, but I really like how this series is giving us more of dinosaurs living among other animals and humans. As stated earlier, it barely got touched on in Dominion. THIS is the type of content I’ve been waiting for!

NAH THAT SUCHO SWIMMING SCENE WAS CREEPY—-

I love how Kenji immediately embraces Yaz. She just wants to hug her girlfriend and Sammy’s standing there straight faced like “…” And Yaz saying “I really wanna hug my girl right now.” 😭😭😭😭😭 YASAMMY DESERVES THE WORLD!!!

Episode 8:

YAZ HUGGING KENJI IM ABOUT TO CRY SO MUCH Y’ALL!

Darn it, I was hoping for an Indoraptor hidden in the lab. 😞 Wouldn’t have made sense, but hey, worth a shot. But what DOES make sense is how there got to be so many dinosaurs roaming around the world once Dominion rolled around. Of course they would try and clone new ones to maximize profits. There was only so many that got released post Fallen Kingdom.

The blind Baryonyx… all I can think about is giving it a hug. Poor little one is stuck down there, more than likely because Santos figured she couldn’t sell it. I wanna adopt them. :(

NO IM NOT READY FOR THE ARGUMENT I DONT WANNA SEE IT!!!!!!

Episode 9:

Ironic how creation… kills the creator. It’s honestly sad how he manipulated the baryonyx’s genes to remove its eyesight entirely. It’s nice to see a use of echolocation, however. The movies never get it quite right imo or just don’t bring it up ever.

Okay, Soyona’s “Trust is hard to come by” line makes me think… what if The Handler could have stolen some of the raptors from her? Sure, she hired a hit out for the campers and more than likely enlisted the Handler’s help. However, both of them have a deep connection with the raptors. Maybe Red was the only one who stayed by Soyona’s side? It’s a great stretch, but it just got me thinking.

Brooklynn needs evidence to send Santos to jail, right? But… she’s out doing stuff in Dominion. So either someone bails her out of jail, OR, Brooklynn fails… which one is it?

Episode 10:

WE MADE IT! Did I spend roughly 5-6 hours binge watching this for the entire day? Maybe. Do I feel like garbage for not getting out of bed? Umm… Kinda. (I’ll try to exercise, I promise…)

I WAS SO SCARED KENJI WAS ABOUT TO PUNCH BEN! DUDE WHAT?!?!?!

I love how the villains in this franchise aren’t just treating their Dino’s like the Indominus and Indoraptor were treated. Both the scientist and Soyona ended up forming bonds with their animals. AND WHAT WAS THE THING WITH RED?! HELLO? SHE CAN LITERALLY MIMIC NOISES?!?! THIS WAS LITERALLY MY FACE DURING THAT PART NO JOKE:

ITS SO CUTE BUT HORRIFYING?!?!?! ITS LITERALLY A PARALLEL OF THE INDOMINUS GETTING THE RAPTORS TO TURN AGAINST OWEN!!! RED IS BECOMING ONE OF MY FAVORITE DINOSAURS Y’ALL, I’M FREAKING OUT!!!!

I literally do not care how unbelievable of a scenario that would be. It was freaking cool!

That one frame of the Baryonyx in the dark hallway is so creepy… My sleep paralysis demon fr.

So… let’s talk about the end… Not only do I really really need a season 3, but I just… I don’t know… The moment Kenji grabbed Brooklynn’s hand before she headed into the jet is what prompted me to cry. Yes, I did cry, don’t judge me plz. 😭 “I’m not the Brooklynn you once knew”… NO! YOU ARE!!!! I was waiting, waiting for Brooklynn to ditch Soyona and embrace her friends, leaving the show off on a note where they have to stop her and Biosyn. But… Brooklynn left them. This entire season, I was waiting for them to be with one another again… All I can think about is- where do they go from here? Brooklynn has shown she’s willing to do whatever it takes to expose this mess, even if it meant abandoning her friends… So what’s going to happen when her friends follow her? How long can she keep this up?

[germhammy]

“Post practice Team meeting”

Bianca: a very good practice

Wednesday: some of you have been practicing.

Bianca: indeed. Illyana, Your style is much improved. Miguel, you have competition

Illyana: I will work with him. If his injury is fully healed he should be allowed to be one the team to face De La Cruz

Miguel: thank you. But Nevermore is more important than my family feud

Wednesday: nonsense. Family is important. I have come to accept that this team is more important than my need to outdo my mother’s accomplishments. We are a family. We must make Nevermore history, but we are a team. A family. Besides, before your injury I was leaning towards including you despite your family feud

Miguel: thank you

Bianca: you were good enough to have earned a spot last time we faced Ilvermorny but you still have to earn a spot on the squad this time out. That goes for everyone

Wednesday: I think a good strategy would be to pick a entirely different team than the one we took to Nevermore

Bianca: I agree. They will be expecting the same team.

Rey: that is pretty much what Marc has reported. They don’t utilize video footage to analyze past matches

Granny Frump: they believe in “pure magic” Morticia was accepted into both Ilvermorny and Shiz.

Morticia: I was?

Granny Frump: yes you were. But when we sat down and had an in person interview? You were rejected. Shiz Academy welcomed you with open arms. We we all set to send you to there but Ophelia cried. She didn’t want you to go so far away

Wednesday: -rolling her eyes- sounds like Pugsley

Bianca: so there you have it. Miguel, Illyana? I want the two of you to work hard to try and make it onto the squad. Those of you who were on the squad that traveled? Do not think that means you’re automatically on the squad

Jack: pretty sure I’m not making it to the fighting squad

Wednesday: probably not. But your service to the team preparation is most appreciated. Yours and Enid’s attention to detail making sure the lames are clean, helmets properly stored. Lists for everyone on what to take? That will still be much appreciated. Less time having to worry about that and more time for practice.

Bianca: indeed.

Xavier: hey! I pay attention to details!!

Ajax: -under his breath to Enid who was sipping water- yeah. Like the details of the curvature of Wednesday’s breasts

Enid: -spewing the gulp of water from her mouth- AJAX!!

Wednesday: Enid? Ajax? Do you have something to add to the discussion?

The both of them turned red shaking their heads

Xavier: just them proving they are not fit to be on the team! Come on, Bianca. Can’t you see the only reason Enid is ‘equipment manager’ is so that Wednesday can have an excuse to be on the team?

Bianca: says the person who throws his mask against the wall for fun and wads his cords up so tightly that we have had to have them replaced? At least Enid knows how to take care of her equipment. The gear is not cheap.

Wednesday: how do you feel when you see someone in art class not covering the paint they have just used or cleaning a brush inadequately?

Xavier: that’s not the same thing!

Wednesday: is it not? It drives me mad to see people miss handle musical instruments. Such as touching the hairs on a bow.

Finn: mishandling something such as a firearm? If one is as careless as you are with our fencing gear, Xavier with the firing pistols and rifles? Not properly cleaning the triggers, properly allotropes and sights? Or worse not properly storing ammunition?

Xavier: now all of you are just picking on me

Bianca: I suggest you practice the style that is favored by Ilvermorny, Xavier. While a style heavy team is not as important this time around? It will be a factor

Wednesday: good idea. They will be expecting that.

Jack: does that mean I get to be on the squad? -replying with a chuckle-

Wednesday: that would be quite an unexpected sight to see. If you can keep within the rules?

Morticia: Bianca, Wednesday? May I say something?

Bianca: of course, Mrs Addams

Morticia: please. Call me Morticia. Thank you. As a former Nevermore student and fencing captain? I am sure you are aware. Nevermore has never bested Ilvermorny. The away tournament victory was a first. The only schools that have ever bested them have been Magic heavy schools. The magic is hardly ever called out because it’s either not contested because it’s not seen. Many still fail to believe in its validity even if it is called out. My last tournament as captain Nevermore came in third place. We lost to Shiz Academy. We one our Bronze medal match. Shiz Academy went on to defeat Ilvermorny in an epic display of revenge from the previous year.

Xavier: then why not teach us magic? If it’s allowed?

Bianca: because it technically isn’t

Wednesday: Magic is not something one learns in a few months. Xavier. We do not even have that long. Just as not everyone had to talent for drawing/painting or music? Not everyone can practice magic. Take my grandmothers. While both are witches? Their talents in witchcraft are vastly different. I may be proficient be able to play the viola? That does not mean I can automatically play the violin

Bianca: wait. I thought you play cello

Wednesday: I can play a few instruments. Viola being one. But my passion is the cello

Morticia: the important thing is know your opponent and know yourself. Always strive to be yourself. Don’t rely on others but always support each other.

Wednesday: thank you, mother. Xavier. Do not expect me to pick you just because you think I owe it to you. Enid purchased a ticket to go to Ilvermorny. She did not actually expect to be a part of the squad. She got a refund of course not needing the ticket. Unlike you.

Bianca: now I expect all of you to practice. I’m sure Coach Vlad will allow you to request specific sparring partners or instructions during your fencing class. See all of you at our next team practice Tuesday night

Xavier: I heard that they are filming an “important scene” Tuesday night. Are you going to show up Wednesday?

Morticia: Xavier.

Wednesday: I got this, Mother. -Morticia nodded and stepped aside- Xavier. You seem to know everything, do you not? Did your new friend Mr Johnson tell you that? The “important scene” you are referring to has been moved to Thursday perhaps Friday night as they need to work on some logistics with Hunter and perhaps procure some equipment to ensure his safety. I will be here Tuesday evening. This practice has ended. Enid. Ajax. I wish to speak with you.

[roo-bastmoon]

To the Sockpuppets in my Asks

"Jimin is so private! What does he have to hide?"

*Flashbacks to Jimin's mail being "omitted" four times and his national ID and address being leaked online, which the press sat on until his OST With You dropped, or, years prior, when folks accused him of whoring and doing coke because he... [checks notes] played a forehead-flicking game at a pub restaurant in Paris*

"Jimin keeps saying he's all alone!"

*Jimin is seen at work, at the gym, taking trips for work and vacation, posting photos on Insta, and appearing on shows and in dance challenges*

"Jimin never goes out anywhere!"

*Yet another idol scandal is in the news, this time involving illegal drugs, yet somehow, Jimin's photo at the official Nike dinner with Joon gets circulated as him "out clubbing"*

"Jimin and Jungkook never show that they hang out! They are never together any more!"

*South Korea enacts  Article 92-6*

Look, conspiracy theories are bullshit, but ALSO:

Jimin and Jungkook are both cooking big, big feasts for us before service and they are focused on that right now. There's still plenty of evidence they see each other and are on great terms, if you actually listen to them, so stop flooding my ask box under sockpuppet accounts, crowing that Jimin is all alone and Jungkook doesn't care about him.

Look, puppykitties...

I cannot tell you Jikook are dating. I do not live in their cupboards and watch them 24/7.

Yes, JK has been hanging out with 97 line friends these days and yes, Jimin and Yoongi (and Hobi) have all gotten super duper close (or are at least more comfy talking openly about how close they've always been) in solo era. And yes:

Jikook don't talk about Jikook these days.

But what ISN'T being said sounds so loud that half this fandom froths at the mouth every other day.

Jimin has two gaming chairs in his apartment--including one chair that really looks similar to the one Jungkook had.

Jimin traveled half-way around the world to be with Jungkook during his debut and we still have no idea what they were doing at the restaurant or on the boat. Let's wait patiently.

There's been some highly suspect photos in the past of a guy in a white bucket hat with JK via CCTV at a quick mart (illegal, won't be posting) or of suspiciously similar-looking hands during game nights on JK's brother's Insta (family stuff, won't be posting). There's also video of someone who looks eerily similar to Jimin in expensive designer clothing at the arrivals terminal of the airport when JK got back from the World Cup--and later, just beyond the airport, footage of JK's car pulling away from another company car with fans screaming "Jimin!" to the riders inside (unofficial content, won't be posting).

Jungkook knows every single lyric in Jimin's songs, and his choreo, AND what he says, word for word, on his interviews.

Jimin took up boxing and has showed us he has a punching bag in house.

Jungkook muttered that Jimin moved his lamp.

Jimin went to the airport sporting what looked like a big dog scratch.

Vminkook went to a cafe in Jeju. K-Army said they spotted Jikook there well before Tae posted about it.

Jimin and Jungkook both watched the same random anime series recently.

Jimin ran up to Jungkook to cutely say "periri" so often that Jungkook was afraid he'd accidentally say it on stage.

JK quietly stopped by Jimin's docu-live, and Jimin lit up like a Christmas tree and then grabbed his moob.

AGAIN: I. CANNOT. TELL. YOU. THEY. ARE. DATING.

But don't come here with that "Jimin is always alone" and "JK only cares about his career, not Jimin" nonsense.

Please make better use of your time by watching JUNGKOOK'S GOLDEN PREVIEW and JIMIN'S SPECIAL TALK LIVE and then go watch YOONGI'S SUCHWITA WITH 2MIN for good measure!

And next time you come to my blog, if you can't say something nice...

Okay?

Okay.

*hugs* Love, Roo

[thechaoticdruid]

[This Bites] (2)

Astarion x Chubby Female MC

Content/Warnings: Winnie freaks the fuck out. Astarion gets an owie. Asshole Brian strikes again. Nothing really crazy in this chapter.

Chapter One: Here it is.

Chapter Two: You are here.

Chapter Three: Lets goooo!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Winnie fell back with a shriek as the vampire reached out, touching the other side of the screen. 

“Ah….Well that's not exactly the reaction I was hoping for.” He muttered as Winnie continued to stare in shock and disbelief, mouth agape.  “Hello?”

“I have got to be dreaming. This is insane.“ Winnie looked back at the screen before then putting her hand back on the mousepad and attempting to click on Astarion. 

“Hey! Quit that!” He said, swatting the mouse away from him. “I can see how this may be a little overwhelming, but I'll explain everything in a moment. I just need you to do something for me.”

“I’m not sure if I should be listening to you. You just murdered Tav!” 

“Don’t worry about them. They die all the time! They're used to it.” He said in an all too cheerful tone. “I, however, need your help. I'm trapped in this place and you're the only one who can free me.” 

“Still not sure if I should trust a hallucination…”

“Oh for gods sake I'm not a hallucination! I'm as real as you are. Don't believe me? Put your hand against mine. See what happens.” Astarion stared at her intently, keeping his palm pressed against the screen. Winnie paused, thinking it over.

Well It's not actually real after all, right? Probably just a dream…

Finally she placed her hand against his over the screen. For a moment there was no reaction, but then she felt a zapping pain in her hand as if she'd been shocked. Winnie let out a yelp, her hand about to retreat before Astarion phased through the screen and grabbed hold of her wrist. The female jerked back in fear, pulling the vampire out in the process. She fell back and let out a squeak as the male fell on top of her. 

Pink tinted her face as she felt his chiseled muscular physique pressing down upon her much more soft round squishy one. Her mind was flying, filled with shock, concern, disbelief, and a little arousal….

AHHHH IT'S REAL. THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO!!?!

I….I think I'm gonna faint!

“Finally.” Astarion grinned before getting off of the flustered girl. He breathed out, clenching and unclenching his fists as Winnie noticed his fingernails had become more claw-like now that he was outside of her computer. It was so nonsensical that this was even happening. This was a character out of a video game. How in the actual fucking hell was he standing right here?!

“Thank you. It feels like I've been stuck in a time loop for gods know how long.” The silver haired elf looked around her room, a look of pure glee plastered over his face.

“I'm sorry I'm trying to process this all without completely flipping out…” Winnie said, still rather shaken up. “You're a fictional character, you can't physically be here!”

“Well I am. Though if I'm honest everything up until about three days had ago felt rather trance-like. Like I had just woken up from a reoccurring dream.”

“Three days ago? Shit…” An idea began to form in Winnie's mind. Three days prior was when she installed that cheat mod and the game locked her out. What if somehow that was the cause of this!?

“I tried to snap the others out of it, but they were still stuck in the same routine, like some mindless thralls forced to repeat the same journey over and over!” Astarion made a spinning gesture with his hand before rubbing his temple with a sigh.

“None of them seemed phased in the slightest when I tried to speak to them. Not even a good slap did the trick.” Astarion smirked with a hint of mischief, the memory of slapping Gale repeatedly and yelling ‘WAKE UP’ coming to mind.  “So I had to get your attention.” 

“So you messed with my computer?” Winnie glanced back at her laptop.

“The little box portal thing you pulled me through? Yes.” He nodded. 

“And how did you even know about me?”

“You act as though we’ve never met, lover.~” His tone suddenly turned flirty and seductive. “Falling in love with you over and over was one of the few things that didn't grow old. Well that and murdering Cazador of course.” He chuckled with a smile.

“Oh…Well maybe I am just dreaming or hallucinating.” Winnie muttered under her breath. 

“I’ve been able to tell you were there the entire time, darling. That little portal thing of yours goes both ways.”

“You've been able to see me through the screen this whole time!?” Winnie bit her lip, fearful and a bit embarrassed of what he possibly could have seen.

“See and hear, yes. Although you always looked fuzzy from my end. Tav does resemble you a little bit, but you're much more….” His eyes scanned Winnie over, taking in her shape and stature. The girl was quite short, about five feet and three inches. She had short messy brown locks and dark circles under her chocolate brown eyes. A pair of black round glasses framed her round face. Her body was chubby and stocky and her only redeeming quality it had (in her opinion) were her large round breasts. “Voluptuous…” He finished after getting a good look at her.  Despite the meaning of the word Winnie immediately wrote him off as bullshitting as usual. She had played the game enough to know how he was.  

“But it is rather delightful to finally meet you in person. Honestly it feels like we've known each other for years.” 

“Alright…..I'll accept that you're actually sentient. And that everytime I go through the game you can see all my choices....” Winnie said, still coming to terms with the fact that a fucking fictional vampire  just came out of her computer.  “So…What happens now?”

“I see what this new world has to offer, I suppose.” Astarion let out a sigh, “I feel so much stronger here. Like I could do anything I want.” He grinned. Winnie felt very unnerved. He had this somewhat feral look in his eyes and before she could say anything he walked over towards her window like a dumbass only to let out a yell once the sunlight touched him. 

“Ah! Bloody hells!” He hissed before rushing to hide under her nightstand like a cat.

“The fuck are you doing!?” Winnie said before rushing over to shut the curtains. “Did you suddenly think you'd become invincible!?” 

“I assumed I was still under the tadpole’s protection, but it seems I was wrong…” Astarion said with a wince. His face looked a bit singed, Winnie knelt down by the table to look at him. 

“Hold on, I'll be right back.” She said before getting up and leaving her room. She rushed down into the kitchen, opening the medicine cabinet before grabbing some aloe vera ointment. 

Winnie eventually returned to see Astarion crawling out from the table. “Stay still. This is probably going to feel cold.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just patching you up, now hold still.” She unscrewed the lid off the ointment before dabbing some on her fingers and rubbing it over his burns gently. He winced a bit as she rubbed it in over the burns on his face, but eventually sighed in relief. “There. All better.” Winnie smiled slightly. 

“...Thank you….” He said, his tone a bit hesitant. 

“Yeah, well maybe try thinking before rushing into something next time?” She hummed before setting the ointment down on the nightstand. 

The vampire appeared to be staring at her intently, a small smile forming on his face before he cleared his throat a bit. Winnie turned and looked over at her computer before suddenly hearing the front door slam open. 

Shit.  

What the hell were they even doing back this early? Winnie’s mother had specifically stated they'd be home late!

“WINNIE!!!” She could hear Brian's voice shout from across the house. Loud stomping quickly followed.

“Who's that?” Astarion asked. 

“Fuck. You need to hide, now.” Winnie said before looking around the room frantically. She grabbed hold of Astarion's wrist, panic flooded over her face.  Astarion pulled his hand back.

“Now hold on one minute! I think I deserve an explanation!” 

”No time. Now shut up and get in the closet!” She quickly grabbed his shoulders and yanked him over towards her closet door.

“Excuse me!? I will not!” He scoffed.

“Get in the goddamn closet Astarion!!” Winnie growled before forcing him into the closet and shutting the door. Her heart was pounding. 

Not like she wanted to stuff him in there, but if Brian found out there was this strange man in her room she'd likely be called a whore and kicked out of the house. Brian was old fashioned like that. 

The door to Winnie’s room suddenly opened with Brian shoving his ugly head inside. 

“Your mother is sick, so we came back early. I'm going to need some cash because she ruined my new seat cover.” Brian held his hand out as if he expected her to immediately cough up a wad of cash.

Winnie immediately scoffed, “so let me get this straight your wife is sick and you're more concerned about your seat cover? Nevermind, no. I already gave you 200$ last week!” 

“Oh you ungrateful little bitch! I let you stay in my house for free! It's about damn time you start pulling your weight!” Brian snarled and pushed at Winnie’s shoulder, making her step back. Winnie glared at him. Her mother was the one who owned the fucking house, not him. 

“I need to be able to pay for classes! I can't just give you money for every little thing.” Winnie tried to reason with him, but it had absolutely no effect on the man whatsoever.

“You have your own fucking job and live in MY house for free! You better cough up some goddamn money by tomorrow night or you're out!” Brian shouted in her face before stomping out of the room and slamming the door. Winnie sighed, feeling mentally exhausted from that conversation. She stood there for a few moments until she was sure Brian wouldn't be coming back.

“Okay, Astarion, you can come out of the closet now.” She said as the closet door slowly creaked open. The silver haired male stepped out, flicking a sock off his shoulder before speaking.

“Charming fellow isn't he?” 

“Mhm, my mom sure can pick em.” Winnie replied sarcastically, crossing her arms. “That asshole has been a thorn in my side for about four years now. Anyway sorry about the closet thing. It's just better that he didn't find out I had some random man in my room. He tends to get set off by….well everything.” Winnie said before sitting down on her bed, her hand reaching for her laptop. She was rather curious to get down to the bottom of why and how this video game character gained sentience.  

“You know darling, if this man is causing you so much grief I could get rid of him for you? It wouldn't be too difficult.” Astarion said with a sadistic smirk, crimson orbs eyed the door to the hallway.  “After all, I'll likely start to feel peckish soon…”

Winnie’s eyes widened and a look of horror formed on her face. She quickly put her laptop to the side.

“No! No no no no! No killing!” The brunette stood up quickly. 

“What? Oh come on…I doubt anyone would miss the bastard, besides your mother can do so much better I'm sure.” The pale elf said with a grin.

“No, I mean it. You can't kill anyone.” Winnie said sternly.

“Not even bad people? Ugh! You're being completely unreasonable!” Astarion scoffed, his grin completely disappeared and was replaced with a look of frustration and annoyance.

“This world isn't like where you're from Astarion. People don't get away with murder here. And if you aren't caught it'll probably end up being pinned on me.” Winnie tried to explain calmly.

“Fiiiine.” The vampiric huffed, “I'll let him live. For now…” He murmured the last part under his breath. Winnie glared at him before returning to her computer. 

“So assuming you don't want to go back into my computer…” 

“I absolutely do NOT.” Astarion was quick to say.

“I'll have to figure out what to do with you, but for now I guess you can stay here.”  Winnie said, typing in Nexus Mods onto her laptop. Astarion went and sat beside her on the bed, spralling out behind her in a sort of paint me like one of your french girls kind of way.

“We can do whatever you'd like.~” He purred seductively. 

“Stop that.” Winnie said, her cheeks turning bright red as she tried to focus on what she was doing.

“Ugh, you're no fun.” Astarion rolled his eyes and got up off the bed.  The elf scanned Winnie’s bedroom, slightly curious of some of the strange technology the girl had stored there, but not too invested. Then movement caught his crimson eye. A small fluffy black feline emerged from under the bed. She had a pink collar around her neck with a little silver bed attached to it. Curiously the cat padded over, approaching Astarion and sniffing at his shoes.  

“What an adorable little snack.~” He picked up the cat who began to pur at the attention, “don't you just look delectable?” The vampire cooed, scratching the feline behind the ears.

“Astarion. Don't you fucking think about it.” Winnie hissed, immediately feeling protective over her cat.  

“Think about what?” Astarion rose an eyebrow and looked over at Winnie with a mischievous grin.

“I swear if you even think about eating my cat-”

“I would never! Honestly I'm hurt you think so little of me. As if I could harm such a precious little pet.” Astarion held the feline up towards his face, allowing her to gently headbutt against his cheek. Her purring sounded as if it was getting louder and louder. Winnie still kept her eyes on him, though perhaps she was a little paranoid. After all he did seem to fancy cats in the game. Likely felt a kinship towards them being that they were stealthy sadistic little predators who refused to let anyone be their master. 

Winnie sighed, today had been utterly insane. Forget how it happened. What the hell was she going to do now!? She's stuck with a vampire in her house who she has to hide from her asshole of a stepdad. She already knew off the bat there was no way he'd go back where he came from and releasing him out into the real world by himself was probably a terrible idea. 

He'd either wreak havoc or end up burnt to a crisp.  This was just great.

Fuck.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Note from TheChaoticDruid: Ngl the temptation to make this into an Astarion x Maddie (The cat) story is growing. I really think there should be more stories where Star has a cat cause the dynamic is just so cute. Astarion in this story is going to be a bit different because of how I set up that he literally has been through a bunch of different playthroughs that Winnie has done. I'm also planning on diving into the mystery of how the hell this even happened in the first place. Also eventual smut. Yes, it'll be here at some point. Also don't worry Brian's time will come.

Taglist: @the-disaster-in-waiting

[lemotmo]

I love it when people who at least have an idea of how these things work get questions like this.

Q. Did you hear Ryan's podcast? I'm vibrating at this point 👀👀👀

A. Haha, I did listen to it, anon. It was a good reminder of why podcasts usually turn out to be the better interviews. If you're not aware, in 99% of print interviews the questions have been pre screened by the actors/show so they go into the interview already knowing pretty much everything they're going to say. It's why so many of them are repetitive. Podcasts tend to have a little more leeway. They usually only have to get topics pre-approved. So even though they know what topics are going to be discussed they don't usually know the specific questions. Now obviously those interviews come with greater risks because if your actor doesn't know how to edit themselves they could say something epically bad. Obviously this one was pre-recorded so he had a little bit of a safety cushion but it didn't appear to be heavily edited content wise. I love that he touched on the racist/bigoted thing. Even though this came prior to the entire Gerard nonsense, I'm glad he got a chance to tell those people how incredibly wrong they are where he is concerned. I hope he hasn't seen most of it, but given everything he has been tagged in I fear he has seen more than he should have ever had too.

He's in the position now that Oliver was last year. He's the one doing the promotional interviews, but he's just out of canned answers he can give, lol. There's nothing left for him to say except the 'thing' he can't yet say. So you can tell he's trying to make the same answers sound somewhat new and for the most part he was able to do that. It was though just one more thing that kind of made you go, yeah it's going where we think it's going. I just think the show is all out of later. They can't keep pushing the story to 'next season'. And I think that's why we're seeing so many winks and nods from ABC and the show. The comments they replied to yesterday were intentional. Yes, they deleted them but they knew the people who they were intended for would see them and remember them. It's time. Let's go.

Thanks Nonny!

Ah yes! Hard agree on everything here! I haven't seen/heard the whole podcast yet (I'm planning to listen tomorrow when I'm relaxing), but I've seen all of the videos, snippets and quotes about 911 and Eddie that were posted online.

Everything is aligning and people are noticing the change. There is this tentative surge of emotion of 'Oh wow, this is it. It's actually happening this time. No more clowning,' going around in fandom and even beyond the fandom. Love that for us.

So yeah, the time is right.

The time is now.

Let's go!

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[vic-draws-sometimes]

We've discussed a lot of SoapGaz and PriceGaz, but there is one more. GhostGaz of the OF au.

FUCK. Gaz is immediately is told by Soap that Ghost is subbed. This gets him an idea... I mean, he needs to record this night, but his camera guy, and Soap are gone!! :[

He pretends to be shy and flustered as he asks if Ghost could help him film something... personal.

"I just need someone to hold the camera is all~ I promise I'll do extra laps in the morning if you want-" he doesn't do those extra laps because Ghost REALLY wants to do this and immediately says yes. Now Gaz is actually flustered because oh fuck my Lieutenant is so close, and he's watching every little movement!

Halfway through filming, Ghost just takes over, pulls out whatever silicone bs Gaz is using and puts on a condom[safety first both Gaz and Ghost agree] and with a lot of lube it becomes a POV video. Lord Gaz never felt it so rough, so he's like IN HEAVEN right now. Barely able to process how a humans hips can be so rough, precise AND FAST??? He's babbling nonsense at that point and Ghost has decided that this is not film he can use, putting the video down so he can out Gaz into a mating-press and JUST BLAM BLAM BL- Okay you get it I like rough Ghost.

Maybe there is a few spanks in between and the camera, though placed down randomly, still gets all of it.

Afterwards, Gaz being the freaky man he is, sees the condom about to be tied and tells Ghost, "Don't throw that away. Pour it on my face-"

.... that was the last clip of the video, was Gaz's cum filled face before it all cuts. They have a genuinely nice shower[Ghost incredible aftercare headcanon] and Gaz immediately says, "well I've got to do some editing in this-"

💀"You're actually gonna post that?"

🧢"Duh! I'll be sure to blur your tats so people don't know-"

💀"Why would I want that. Keep it how it is... can you send me the unedited version?"

🧢"Of course ♡"

It's rare for Gaz to post rough content, bit if he ever feels like he needs it, well, He can always just go to Ghost~

💀"Oh, Sergeant what brings you back to me?"

🧢"well... ///"

This man is so easily charmed by Gaz though he would easily bottom for him he wanted. AND THAT HAS BEEN ALSO RECORDED LMAO

'Fucking my L.T!? [Not clickbait] [GONE SEXUAL]' that's not actually the title but it's funny as fuck

Also Imma try to sign my asks now bc I'll probably dump this stuff on you a lot lmaoo

-❌️❌️❌️

You're so right for all of this!!

I hinted at Gaz sending private videos to Ghost as well, and I stand by that.

Before I start rambling here's some drawings of Ghost absolutely destroying Gaz

At first Ghost is hesitant. ''Are you sure you want this?'' he's alright being a regular subscriber, but Gaz is adamant that yes, he trusts him.

And he doesn't regret it one bit. Ghost takes full advantage of Kyle's background as a gymnast. He manhandles him like he's a puppet and folds him as much as he physically can.

Also if you're wondering why Kyle is apologizing to him... He admitted to teasing Ghost for two whole weeks, making his life a living hell by constantly making sure he's on his mind. He sent him pictures in the middle of the day, random messages and looks from across a room. Ghost was starting to get heated under his mask.

[meowzfordayz]

when you stay up late — tanjirou, kyojuro

Author’s Note: … sooo, who else is a night owl? 😅

when you stay up late — tanjirou, kyojuro

Kamado Tanjirou x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader

Word Count: ~800

CW: none

Emergency Request Fulfilled: I think I’ve been exhausting my body a little tooo much, so parts of my arm and leg are beginning to hurt. I’ve also like, not been sleeping on time lately.. (cough 2am) 😭

So maybe (if you can) do a Drabble (or anything really) in which Tanjiro helps reader get some sleep on time? Maybe even help in keeping reader from exhausting her body so much?

Suggestion Fulfilled: How would Kyo react to finding his s/o up at an inhuman time late at night? What if she is playing videogames and stuffing her face with snacks or something? "my love, it's 2 in the morning!" "yes but this game is so good and I need answers!!" 😂 (def not what I've been doing)

AND AN EVEN BETTER ADDITION, what if he ends up sitting down next to her to stuff his face whilst watching the screen intently because, indeed, the game is very good and interesting and now HE needs answers? 😂😂😂

~faqs~

Has a couple tried and true methods for helping you sleep ~early

Or at least, sleep at all if he falls asleep first, and then wakes up hrs later to you still awake 😅

Tells you stories

They’re always made up, and always ~nonsensical, but the simple act of murmuring softly beside you till your eyes begin drooping is what matters most 🥺

For example:

“Once upon a time, there was a bottle of hot sauce. His name was Frank.” 🔥

“Tan, shouldn’t his name be RedHot, and his dad is Frank? Y’know, Frank’s RedHot?” 🧐

“You’re supposed to be relaxing, not logicafying my story.” ☹️

“Hmpf.”

��“Anyway, Frank’s best friend was an apple named Macintosh. 🍎 They went on many adventures together, from apple picking to hot wings sampling events. Their favorite festival was the applesauce and hot sauce festival where vendors from all over the land gathered to provide three days of sauces and fun.”

~at this point, you’ve fallen asleep~

Tanjirou doesn’t always know whether to feel proud or offended that you fall asleep so quickly

Like, is he that calming and soothing? 🥰

Orrr bOrInG?! 😭

Takes you on late night walks

Hear me out

Is going for a walk @ 2am a lil counterintuitive for going to sleep?

Yeeeah

BUT

If you’re already awake, and lying in bed isn’t helping, then a cute, moonlit walk couldn’t hurt any more 🌙

“You want to get up now?” you yawn, fixing an amused stare at Tanjirou’s bedhead

“Why not?” 😁

And altho you could technically think of plenty of this-is-why-not reasons, you shrug instead

“Okay!”

Within a block, you’re clinging to his arm, body feeling heavy and content 😴

And within two blocks, you’re whining cutely into his shoulder, “Taaanjiiirooouuu, m’sleeeeepy.” 🥱

11/10 you’re getting a piggyback ride home 🤗

More often than not, Kyojuro ends up getting roped into whatever’s keeping you up 🥴

Suffering through hw?

He’ll get his own notebook, snacks, and water (to share, ofc), and keep you company 🤓

“My love,” he whispers—after ~30 secs—stricken faced

“Hm, Kyo?” you hardly spare him a glance, trying (and failing) to make sense of your lecture notes

“I realize now why you are still studying at 3am. This is incomprehensible!” 😖

Nonetheless, he persists along w/ you, doing his best to hide his yawns, and insisting on 1 min cuddle breaks whenever you have an epiphany aka finally understand something

By the last cuddle break, you’re falling asleep in his arms, and he doesn’t do a thing to stop you 😌

(spiritually, he fell asleep hrs ago 😃)

Fixated on a video game?

Kyojuro trusts you when you tell him, “No worries babe, go to sleep, I’ll join you in a bit!” ☺️

He shouldn’t have 💀

Unless “a bit” always meant “sometime after 2am” 🤡

“Darling,” he rasps, blearily eyeing your focused position in front of your computer (that you haven’t moved from since he was last awake), “What time is it?” 😵‍💫

“Time to destroy this BOSS,” you exclaim, not missing a beat, nor shaken by his sudden consciousness 😎

“Do you think you have enough snacks?” he asks wryly, surroundings slowly but surely registering 🥨🧀🍫🍿🍪

“Nope,” you grin, “But you can still have some.”

“Why did the screen go black?” 🤨

“Because I died,” you huff, “You really ought to know these things.”

“And become a gremlin like you?” he chuckles, blankets tossed aside as he shuffles himself out of bed

“A WINNER, Kyo, I’m going to be a WINNER.” 😤

“Sure, especially when I have seen that black screen at least three times in the five minutes that I have been awake.” 😉

“Y’KNOW WHAT,” you shriek indignantly, pointing a playful finger at him, “Sit and watch, this game isn’t easy.” 😒

“Is it multiplayer?” 🫢

“No.” 😐

(yes, but no hell in way are you letting him join and show you up now — at least, not tonight)

“I can eat your snacks?” 😋

“As long as you promise to fetch more when they run out.”

And that’s how you and Kyo end up pulling an all nighter, eyes bloodshot, stomachs full, and very hydrated (bc water is apparently a snack too)

P.S. You eventually allow him to play w/ you (after you beat the game yourself)

P.P.S. Watching him struggle brings you immense satisfaction 🤠

P.P.P.S. “Kyo, you might break your record of deaths in a minute.” “Oh hush, I am just warming up!” ❤️‍🔥

[bliss-wily]

Ginyu Force Headcanons

A long time coming, several months in fact. I am so sorry to the anon who asked for these. I hope you still see these. As always SFW, I like to keep my blog a safe place. As always, if these overlap with anyone else’s it is simply coincidence. Most of these are pretty darn silly, I have gone with five for each member, plus an extra five for the group as a whole. Who doesn’t love the Ginyu Force, hehe?

Bonyu

Completely no-nonsense, not just with posing. Hence why she left, she needed to be around more ‘intelligent’ minds.

Related to Jeice in some way – maybe cousin or sister. I am not basing this solely on visual clues, she can use Crusher Ball after all.

Given her refusal to pose, had she been on Namek then perhaps the tables may have turned on Goku and Vegeta (well, at least for a little while – of course, the boys would eventually win).

Furthermore, she is likely the most competent when it comes to fighting as she is not leaving herself wide open much like the others had. She would be serious, and she wouldn’t be spending her fights taunting or arguing about candy with her teammates.

She takes every aspect of her job seriously and expects the others to do the same. Therefore, finds Taino annoying for her fangirling over the squadron (if you know, you know).

Burter

I reckon Burter may have the biggest sweet tooth of the entire squadron.

The poor guy is a little scared of women because of his relationship with his mother growing up.

By extension gets a little scared of Bonyu if she shouts or gets mad.

Thinks of the Ginyu Force as his family, worries about for whatever reason combing with the Armoured Squadron.

Absolutely games with Jeice, however, knows when to stop unlike his comrade. The team comes first.

Jeice

Swears like a sailor sometimes – gets told off by Captain Ginyu if he gets caught, Jeice is the youngest for the sake of my headcanons.

Unsurprisingly collects baseball cards.

Has most definitely slacked off to play video games on more than one occasion.

Too cocky for his own good at times. Jeice can also be a bit too openly flirty at the worst possible times.

This boy never runs out of energy and I reckon after Ginyu and Bonyu is probably the smartest. He definitely earned his second in command position for good reason.

Ginyu

A complete romantic should he become involved with someone.

Likely tries to manage any Frieza Force social media seeing as he is such a team player.

Ballroom dancing is a (not so secret) passion of Ginyu’s.

Has a stash of ice cream cake, it’s his favourite snack.

Likely gags anytime he sees a fly now, yes, I’m operating on the idea that he somehow got his body back from the frog. An AU if you will.

Guldo

A little insecure because he’s one of the smallest in size amongst the Frieza Force.

Also, a little worried sometimes that he isn’t worthy of the Ginyu Force as he isn’t as physically strong.

Of all of them, Guldo is the one most likely to find a way out of training, he’s a bit too reliant on stopping time and using psychic abilities.

Would be the one most likely to betray the Ginyu Force in favour of the Armoured Squadron. He’s an opportunist.

Get’s easily jealous if the others become close to outsiders in case he gets replaced.

Recoome

The biggest sweetheart if you get to know him.

I will assume Recoome works harder than the others too. He loves his job.

May act like a dumb brute but there is a brain there which he uses to his advantage seeing as he is underestimated so much. (By enemies anyway)

Treats Guldo the best of all members, he definitely looks out for the smallest member.

Absolutely still partakes in ballet, it has never left him.

Ginyu Force as a Whole

Jeice and Burter are 100% dating. (Simply for my headcanons, I am not forcing this on anyone, I promise.)

Mess with one, you mess with them all. That is a given.

They definitely run some form of fitness club for special training. Likely work anyone who shows up to the bone. They have a reputation to uphold as Frieza’s strongest after all.

In some parts of the universe, they are perhaps treated like celebrities. Parts of the Frieza Force are likely famous, and the Ginyu Force is most definitely one of those parts.

Have absolutely coerced Frieza or other members of the Frieza Force to do silly and embarrassing things on more than one occasion. Some light hearted evil!

[zoeykallus]

Hi there, i assume you're most likely flooded with requests currently but here's my shot if you feel like it : how about how the Badbatch reacting to their s/o posting simple normal stuff on their social media (like spotify links, cute pics all that)? I think that would be so cute 🥰🥰🥰 i don't think you've done something like this before so it's totally okay if you don't want to!

Aloha!

Indeed, I am, and I barely have time to work through them, but I do, bit by bit, hoping no one hates me for being so slow 😬😅 Interesting question. Let me look into this....

The Bad Batch x Reader HCs - Your Social Media

Warnings: Mostly Fluff/Maybe Slightly Angsty

______________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

______________

>Master List<

Tech

Our shy Tech uses social media to find out things about you, even before you're a couple. Stalker? Yes and no. Basically, he just uses it to try to find out what music you like, what movies, if you like to read, and if so, what books. Tech spends a lot of time browsing.

He is looking for information about you that will make it easier for him to start a conversation with you, to surprise you in a positive way and to respond to you. Tech feels more confident approaching you when he already has some background information.

But he also likes to check in on things in the future, keep up to date. He's often in the tunnel at work, and that's how he finds out if he's missed anything when he's on a mission. Maybe you've discovered a new favorite song, or something culinary, or you're reading a new book.

Of course, he doesn't miss the opportunity to send you links to reports, documentaries and the like, about whatever he's excited about. The last link was a report about upcoming, groundbreaking new hyperspace technology.

Hunter

He has no idea about social media, he himself has had no contact with it until now, and Hunter has never been interested in it. Until Wrecker points out to him that you're on social media.

"Have you seen that funny Loth cat video your sweetheart shared?"

Hunter frowns.

"What, shared, I don't quite understand."

Wrecker shows and explains everything to him in general terms, and Hunter ends up making a social media account on the Holonet. The cat video was amusing, but not the reason. He wants to know what else you share, if maybe there are hobbies he doesn't know about, or events you'd like to attend.

In fact, three days later he surprises you with tickets to an event you're dying to attend, but can't find the money in time.

Hunter doesn't spy on you, you can do whatever you want. He just picks out a few little things, like this event, to make you happy.

Echo

He stays away from it completely. In fact, he hates this social media nonsense. There was even a whole format of its own for clones, and he remembers well how some of his brothers used to act online. He doesn't really need that.

You can do whatever you want, of course, but he won't touch that stuff unless you explicitly ask him to. Echo still won't spend much time on it, just occasionally liking one of your shared posts, but that's all you can expect from him.

Echo is not comfortable on the Holonet, it's not nearly the same, yet it always kind of reminds him of his imprisonment by the Techno Union.

"You spend way too much time with this devil stuff".

Wrecker

He is all over the place. Wrecker has an account on every social media site, and he posts as regularly as he can. Cute and funny animal videos mostly and in stark contrast, videos of explosions. Every now and then a music video and articles about guns and explosives.

In fact, he bombards his pages so hard that sometimes you completely lose track of what's going on and don't really manage to keep up. But Wrecker miraculously knows, despite his own constent-posting, what's going on with you in social media.

Among other things, you once posted a picture of him when an admirer wouldn't leave you alone. After endless attempts to get rid of him and several block attempts whereupon the nag just kept making new accounts, you shared Wrecker's picture in full gear, with you next to him.

"This is my boyfriend, if you want me, work it out with him".

Wrecker drops the holopad laughing and says, "What's going on? You didn't tell me that someone was bugging you."

You shrug your shoulders, "Always wrote to me privately. I thought it was time to expose that person."

"Hm," growls Wrecker, "Let me know if he doesn't stop."

Crosshair

One of those who talk badly about social media, very badly, avoid it for quite a while and then suddenly sink into it almost like an addict. Crosshair has his holopad in his hand every free minute, checking his messages, new links and likes.

Crosshair will never admit it, but he really enjoys the attention, being anonymous in a way and still being noticed. Of course, he also digs through your social media, and you can assume that he scrutinizes everything.

He knows the guys who are on the Internet, make immoral offers, send nude pictures and want to have nude pictures and so on. Otherwise, he flies over the things rather so casually, he's not really interested, he rather wants his contributions to be seen, shared and liked.

[andreal831]

the mechanics of killing klaus/the hollow in s5 are nonsense. ignoring the white oak stake they pulled out of their ass, in s4 Davina says that only Labonairs can harm the Hollow (ie Hayley and Hope) and whenever a body the Hollow possesses dies, she just body hops. so in s5 Klaus staking himself made no sense. If we follow logic, the Hollow would just find a new body. The only way this could've made logistical sense to me was either

Hayley takes the Hollow and dies for Hope

Hope is the one to stake Klaus if Hayley's still dead in this s5

In situation 2, a Labonair is still the one to kill the Hollow/it's host which follows s4 rules.

you know what, i wish option 2 had happened

also sidetone on the mechanics of Klaus dying, why pull the white oak stake out of your ass when Marcel's venom is still around. Just say Klaus has a vial he keeps around for nefarious purposes. that would make sense and wouldn't make me want to bang my head against a wall

sorry for this, i was watching Friendly Space Ninja's video on TO and he mentioned the Labonair stuff and how Klaus' death didn't make sense.

whoever wrote how they killed Klaus was an idiot and forgot several bits of lore.

also, i finished the Great War and man i loved it! Cami marrying Klaus to link herself to him? genius. i didnt see Jackson and Hayley divorcing and the scene where she asks Klaus to compel her feelings for Elijah away genuinely made me emotional (and also want to strangle Jackson). Rebekah and baby Henry was unexpected yet delightful. yay for Freelin not having a cursed beginning (why does this universe love giving weird/messy couples happy endings but not the healthy ones). very excited for the sequel.

First of all, thank you for reading TGW! I love hearing feedback and I'm so glad you've enjoyed it. I really wanted to give the characters more closure and happier (if not just as angsty) storylines. I can't wait to start posting the sequel!

But yes, Season 5 was an absolute mess for so many reasons, but mainly because the writing was just so bad. I know they lost their main producer and JP had to take over. I don't think she cared to follow the show's own lore. She just wanted to end it quickly and dramatically. If you read my story, Don't It Just Break Your Heart, I don't fully resolve all of the issues, but I do discuss how it wouldn't make sense for Klaus and Elijah to die with the Hollow. We saw other characters get killed with the Hollow inside and she just comes back, it doesn't kill her. They completely dropped the Labonair connection in Season 5 which was such a pivotal point in Season 4. Simply killing her on the one plane didn't solve anything as she just ended up back on the ancestral plane and come back.

Also, yes, where did that stake come from? Freya searched for any trace of the white oak in season 3 and only came up with the one bullet. How did she not find the one that Klaus kept hidden? Why would Klaus keep a stake that could kill him and his family hidden? None of that made sense. Like you pointed out, there was still a way to kill him, Marcel's venom. It would be kind of iconic for Klaus to be killed by both of his children -- Hope doing it to kill the Hollow but using Marcel's venom.

Very little about Season 5 made any sense. It was all just for rating and to launch Legacies.

Thanks for the ask!

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 22 thoughts

i am actually the bravest human alive for surviving this episode

(lmao i joke. MOSTLY. but op lore: i suffer from a chronic illness that gives me terrible nausea and MAN this was NOT the episode you want to sit down and unwind with if you’re feeling ill. for the plague be upon them all. and yet! here we are. my love for these agents must be quite boundless.)

“diseaseee episode… okay so it is probably body horror time maybe idk” <- first thing in my notes, and yes. yes, it was body horror time.

(we open with a fellow in the rainforest catching bugs) and to me it’s giving “he was in the amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders just before she died” which was such a funny meme. we moved on from this too quickly. those words will always make me giggle.

that is a turkey vulture… do they have those in Costa Rica? yes they do! wow, bird facts <3

ohh nasty, we see a dead hog in the rainforest, being consumed by bugs… bug scientist takes some of them while it pulsates… and my nausea strikes!!!

AUGHHH the boil blew up on his face. this is eeeeevil!! i was diverting my attention AWAY from the screen at this point and really staring at my notes in the hope they could shield me from the nastiness

NOOOO now the bug scientist’s face is covered in the boils… the vultures got him and so did the bugs, and i am getting the impression this is gonna be a tough watch, but i’m in too far now!!!! (it had been like. 5 minutes lmao but i meant it!)

scene change: prison time.

(is this the outside of the prison they used to film the Please Please Please music video or do they all just look the same?)

a prisoner has been sent a package. it is…. some kind of meat??? can you send meat in the mail…? just wrapped up in newspaper? i find this hard to believe, but maybe things were different in the 90’s, or we can suspend disbelief for the sake of the alien show

the meat is pulsating and now the prisoner who received it has the same boils…… deeply unfortunate for all parties involved

and now boil disease is spreading in the prison!! two guards escaped on a cart carrying the infected man's dirty sheets. so they are pretty much gonna die. but will they spread the sickness to the outside world before they do so?

enter our agents!!

this dude who claims to be in charge is a real jerk. and the agents don’t even know why they got sent there beyond to help with a manhunt, which seems beneath them. but there are some people in hazmat suits, so it’s not adding up.

the convicts are hiding in a rest stop and stole a camper from a poor family :( way to ruin vacation.

scully can tell everyone is LYING and she hates lies and bursts into the hospital area, despite the doctor trying to keep her out… it’s a serve, but at what cost to her health???

here, we learn what is at stake: 14 men have been infected, and 10 have died so far. YIKES! this is not good news.

she always answers the phone with “mulder, it’s me” and idk why I find that so endearing. but maybe I’m just at the point where everything these nerds do wins me over 

NOOOO the dad from the camper was killed…  vacation ruined even more than previously thought 

back at the prison, a dude in a hazmat suit tried to kick scully out by saying that she is violating federal orders by being there, and she says “i’m a federal agent”…. a queen of dealing with nonsense. she needs to know if the escaped men are out and about spreading this!!

“you see what I let you see”, says a man drunk on the power of a lot of people dying around him. and i love that these men think they can handle whatever this disease is without any help whatsoever (/s) the arrogance of men has no limits. 

the convict is coming home… to his gf and baby… SPARE THE BABY from the bubbling disease!!!

one of the dudes who escaped is on the floor of the gas station bathroom, moaning and groaning and covered in boils, and the other convict smacks the poor cashier helping him on the head with a wrench... truly despicable behaviors. and he was probably doing all of this for minimum wage!!

scully in da incinerator room... what is she doing there! she has a mask and some gloves and some bodies to investigate. she cuts one of the bagged bodies open. 

NOOO the doctor tries to stop her and the juice gets in his eye… he runs away. rip doctor. your fate has been sealed.

(rolling up to the gas station w the marshals and a million dudes in sunglasses that look like horrible people to catch the escaped convicts)

mulder finds the poor cashier that got whacked and says “kid’s got a lot of hair, probably absorbed the blow” which is a crazy thing to say 

now he is trying to track the phone call the convict made to figure out where he went, but he’s using the same payphone as the sick man, and the germs... i’m scared!

mulder gives his badge number to the operator. It’s JTT-047101111. will this information be of any use at any time? no. but I still wrote it down <3

woah loud noise! a helicopter arrives to put the cashier in some sort of incubator. this cashier has really had a bad time. and no one is explaining anything!!!! so he doesn’t even know where they are taking him or why!! transparency has never been anyone in the government’s strong suit, i guess.

convict cam. he is reunited with his gf. they are smooching. and that is not good for her survival rate i would guess. after they make out a lil, he shows her the other mostly dead guy in his car. i assume he will be joining the family but not for long. i'd be pissed if my man brought someone home after his prison escape. this was supposed to be about US and not some dude i don't know named paul dying in our bed...

okay the package of the meat was sent from kansas… sus…. from a pharmaceutical company?? could it be a fake return address… (spoiler: no, it was not!)

OUGHHHH the camera cuts to dead flesh and boils and blood BLEAGGHH and scully extracts a BUG from it…. 

back to the convicts. the woman is trying to help the guy who is filled with pus, and she bends down to try and cool off his fever, and just as this happens the boil bursts!!! her face is splashed with nastiness and i moaned “nooooo” and hit pause so fast because I nearly gagged... but this was not a foolproof plan, because it paused on all the stuff getting on her face, so i saw it even more, which was SO NASTY EVIL EVIL NASTY GROSSSSSS JAIL. she’s trying to scrub it off. 

just as she tries to get it off, the marshals burst in and get her. so now they might get the boils… also someone scoops up the baby… put him in a better situation… but the other prisoner is gone!! where did his slippery ass sneak out to?!?

(we see an outside shot of the prison again and AGAIN I think this is the same one from the please please please mv. sabrina carpenter can you confirm or deny? i know you read this blog)

the doctor who was earlier splashed upon has revealed his boils to scully. but this is not all he reveals: he was LYING about the CDC being involved!!! it’s the pharmaceutical company that sent the package to the prison that did all this, and he works for them!! they finance discovering stuff in the rainforest to use in drugs… and they found the bug. and the bug has a parasite on it that makes the boils and the larvae are in the explosion. so explosion = infection.

NOOO she was there when his boil blew up so she might also be infected..... lord her medical history is complicated enough. let her escape the clutches of these damn bugs.

talk with skinner time!!!!! BUT... CIG MAN IS IN THE CORNER. mulder goes over to talk to him directly. is he trying to get them killed!!!!! because it looks like cigarette man put them on this case involving lethal infectious diseases because he wanted to get rid of them. oh, mulder is ANGRY about them lying to the public

meeting with skinner was NOT a success. he angrily fumbles with his seatbelt when scully calls to report the latest in plague news 

they disagree on what to do here: he says the public has to know about the situation, and she says that they don't because the panic will spread faster than the contagion. oooo, juicy moral conflict! but i must admit. pandemic questions interest me less having lived through one of my own.

despite his frustration that she is making a point about not being able to tell the world just yet, he asks "are you okay in there scully?”, and she says yes, tells him to catch the fugitive, and to "take care of yourself out there"... and her not knowing if she is gonna live or die, so she tells him to take care of himself...... has me very emo

now, she is locked into quarantine with the infected doctor, who is testing her for the disease, which involves trapping a bug to her arm and waiting for it to bite her. which is quite hellish. she looks truly disturbed by the event and frankly so was i.

mulder interrogating the woman whose bf is the escaped convict. trying to find him, but being distracted by her moral questions on who deserves to know the truth... not now, ask these heavy things later. success! convict boil man is on his way to the bus station.

cutscene to the convict trying to buy a bus ticket. and coughing all over the ticket woman. another minimum wage worker victimized by disease. wear ur masks people!

back at the lab, the bug has FINALLY bitten her, but the doctor from the company is going down. he says she has to tell the world if her test is negative because it WILL happen again. way to push your guilt onto someone else, mister pharmaceutical man!

cut to her extracting blood from bugs. how in the hell did they film that scene??? she takes a deep breath and looks at the blood to see if she’s gonna die or not. and she sighs but that isn’t an answer for us, the audience. (spoilers: it was negative...... thank god)

in the incinerator of the prison, they are destroying all the evidence!!! by tossing all the bodies into a fire!!! the pharmaceutical company is covering its tracks!!! they say it was unavoidable but she says “we'll leave that up to others to decide!!!” oh he pulls the “no one will believe you” card… but she’s sneaky, maybe she’ll think of something that can prove it all to the rest of the world

back to the marshals and mulder at the bus station. no pressure but the prisoner who is about to die HAS to make a statement or else everything will be entirely covered up by the pharmaceutical company that killed these people. again, no pressure!! 

mulder going on the bus with the infected convict.... nooo mulder, be careful, i whisper softly to the screen. and sensing his tricks, the sick man holds a boy with a gun to his head once he gets on there!!!

mulder's voice is all growly- you know how it gets when he’s serious. but the sick man is coughing all over the little boy. and foaming at the mouth. mulder convinces him to let the kid go, and tries to get that statement that will prove everything... but....

NOOOOOOOO!!!! the marshals shoot the guy before he can learn what was in the package!!!!!!

so, in all: the pharmaceutical company was using the prisoners as guinea pigs to get their drug on the market without FDA testing… truly sick and twisted!!!

mulder is reporting this to skinner, and he’s gonna tell the public!!! mulder says that covering the truth makes skinner just as guilty as the men who infected the prisoners (which i'm not sure i agree with but i love a man obsessed with the moral weight of his actions)!! but scully bursts in and says they can’t prove anything because the tracks were so thoroughly covered.

mulder is adding things up... that’s why they were given the assignment, so that if they tried to expose the whole thing, they would be discredited!!!

skinner says “you never had a chance, mulder; for every step you take, they’re three steps ahead” “where do you stand?” “i stand right on the line that you keep crossing” <- OHHHHH zinger.

but i'm conflicted... i thought skinner and i were tight after he intervened to save mulder a few episodes ago, but now I don’t know… skinner, my feelings towards you are complex and unnavigable 

“i’m saying this as a friend: watch your back. This is just the beginning” <- WHAT DO YOU KNOW SKINNER!!!!!

there are questions here- such as, to what point does skinner knowingly go along with the corruption in the government? if the government was involved with killing prisoners on behalf of a drug company, what other evil twisted things are they hiding? to what extent can skinner, and every other person in the FBI, be blamed for complicity? is it at all possible to make positive change in a corrupt system?

also, are these the same guys who are hiding the aliens, or do you think that 's a different evil government department?

what was cig man doing there and why does skinner keep letting him into his office like a stray cat that gets one free meal from a nice human? (but that stray cat is evil and was involved in kidnapping scully) should we send skinner to the cancel chambers or is he a real mfer deep down? also, where the hell is krycek? not that I give a fuck. he sucked. 

much to ponder, but i end there for now, because. bleurgh. flesh.