#yes i have 3 credit cards yes i am stupid

[tpwk-formula1]

hello! please may i order thick crust, alfredo sauce, artichokes, broccoli and argula with water and aftercare please served by lando🩵

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

thick crust sugar daddy alfredo sweet sex artichokes "Imagine your father saw you now. On your knees like a proper trained slut for me to use" broccoli "Made just for me huh?" arugula "I love stretching this pussy out" water breeding kink dessert yes served by Lando Norris

Lando x Sugar Baby! reader

TW - Size kink conversations, terrible representation of a sugar daddy/baby relationship, oral (both receiving), unprotected sex, talks of filling reader up with cum

WC 1800+

AN - I am so sorry this one took me forever! A few of the first few requests got lost amongst the rest and I just found them and will be out within the next couple of hours <3

Y/N POV

"I'm ready to go home," I tell Lando softly while pulling his hand towards the exit of the Monaco shopping center we had spent the last hour in.

We came here with the intention of Lando purchasing some things I had set my eyes on but as soon as we got here we kept getting stopped by fans. I loved watching the joy spread across Lando's face when a different fan would approach him but after a while, I was starting to get overwhelmed.

"You only got one thing, baby," Lando tells me softly but I just shake my head pulling Lando closer to the valet wanting to get into the car as soon as possible.

"We can get it online," I say sharply still making our way to the valet when Lando's car was parked out front. When we hand them the ticket Lando opens the door for me before shutting it softly and climbing into the driver's seat.

"Didn't know you wanted to fuck me that bad," Lando says with a smirk making me scoff and roll my eyes softly at him before cracking a slight smile.

"I don't know how you handle all the people talking to you in public. I'm not even the one they're taking pictures and I was overwhelmed," I tell Lando softly pulling the hand he had resting on my thigh into my hand so I could play with his rings.

"You know you're a terrible sugar baby right?" Lando questions me with a smirk making me throw my head back with a soft groan.

Lando and I had known each other for years and have been close for the past few years, and one drunk night decided to come up with some stupid idea where we hook up whenever we can and in exchange Lando will take care of some of my fiances.

"You pay my rent still," I tell him softly making me laugh a little.

"You basically live in my bed, why the hell would I make you pay rent for a place you're rarely in," Lando says with a light laugh making me laugh a little with him.

"I don't Lando, it's a strange situation. I mean I use your card occasionally," I tell him with a soft smile.

"Baby, you've had access to my credit card for almost a year and I kid you not I've made three payments of less than a thousand dollars each time," Lando says making me scrug. I think this whole Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby situation was our weird way of covering up the truth of us wanting to be together.

"Would you rather me max it out every month?" I question softly making Lando laugh a little.

"I mean it would make me feel better after the way I destroy your pussy every chance possible," Lando says smirking making my jaw drop slightly at his crude words. Lando just laughs when he sees my face before pulling into the parking garage of his complex and reverse parking into his spot making my thighs clench together slightly from how hot he looked when he was driving.

When we get into his apartment I make my way into his room where I instantly strip down into nothing but my bra and panties before grabbing one of Lando's shirts and throwing it on just wanting to be comfortable.

"Fuck, I love seeing you in my clothes," Lando says from the door making me turn around towards him flashing a bright smile before walking towards him and pulling him in for a soft kiss.

"Nuh-uh, you have some online shopping to do," Lando says while pulling away making me whine.

"After," I beg making Lando shake his head, before climbing into his bed and patting the spot next to him before pulling his laptop out of his nightstand and handing it to me.

We spent the next hour buying all kinds of things such as new kitchen utensils for Lando's apartment so I could stop bringing stuff from my apartment, new clothes, and Lando's personal favorite was the two grand he insisted he dropped on lingerie that he will surely have me model for him when it arrives.

"No more," I mumble pushing away the computer when I saw that his card went through on the lingerie boutique.

"Are you sure baby?" Lando questions making me nod my head.

"Yes, can you please fuck me now," I ask softly giving him my best puppy dog eyes making me laugh yet he still pulled me in for a heated kiss.

I climb into Lando's lap grinding down on his jeans making both of us moan at the pleasure. I could feel Lando starting to get hard which and me shuffling between his legs so I was on my knees for Lando but still in the bed. I watch as Lando pulls his shirt off as I unbutton his pants and slip his cock through the top of his boxers before I take a small lick at the precum dripping from his tip making him hiss at the stimulation.

"Imagine your father saw you now. On your knees like a proper trained slut for me to use," Lando says with a smirk making me lean down to his thigh and taking a soft bite at it.

"Ya but you trained me to be your slut," I say with a smirk before finally pulling Lando's pants all the way off with his help. He also shuffled his briefs down leaving him bare while I was still in his shirt so I slipped it off leaving me in my matching set. I lean back down and pull Lando back into my mouth while I used my free hand to play with my clit making me moan softly around Lando's cock sending vibrations straight to his tip.

" Fuck you were made just for me huh?" Lando groans out the question when I start deep-throating his cock.

I could tell Lando was getting close which had him pushing me back softly and positioning me on my back before he climbed between my legs and started kissing me.

Lando makes quick work of unclipping my bra and discarding it across the room before trailing soft kisses down my neck and chest before giving a quick soft suck on each nipple before he kisses down my stomach where he pulls my panties down and wastes no time in pulling my clit into his mouth and sucking on it.

"Fuck, Lando," I whine wiggling my hips a bit making Lando grip onto my thighs with his arms and continue licking and sucking on my clit.

"So good," I mumble out making Lando speed up his actions and unwrap one of his arms from my thighs before slipping two fingers into my soaked pussy where he found my G-spot with not trouble and starts teasing it and bringing me close to an orgasm.

When Lando realized how close I was he pulls away making me whine at the lost but quickly shuts me up when he pulls me in for a kiss while slowly pushing his large cock into my pussy.

"Oh my God," I moan loudly when I feel Lando's cock graze my G-spot before he hit my cervix once he was all the way seated into my pussy.

"Lando, too big," I gasp when I feel Lando rocking his hips slightly to stretch me out. Lando and I had issues the first time we slept together cause I couldn't relax myself enough to take him without pain, we quickly learned a few soft circles against my clit will do the job if needed.

"I love stretching this pussy out," Lando groans while staring at the way my pussy was stretching to accommodate his size.

When Lando feels he's stretched me out enough he stops his rocking and instead starts softly thrusting making me gasp when he starts hitting my G-spot each time.

"So good," Im mumble trying to keep my volume down slightly. Lando just picks up his thrusting when he realizes I was holding back slightly.

"Fuck," I moan loudly when he starts hitting my G-spot with a bit more force than before.

"You gonna let me cum in you baby?" Lando questions making me nod my head.

"Please, I need your cum in my," I gasp when Lando starts speeding up his thrusts into a perfect pace.

"Ya? You love feeling my cum fill this pretty pussy up," Lando says while bringing two fingers down to my clit where he rubs soft circles on it bringing me closer to the edge.

"You gonna cum for me pretty girl?" Lando questioned while speeding up his fingers on my clit knowing I was gonna need more than just some soft circles.

"Please, cum with me," I beg before pulling Lando's neck down to my face so I could keep his lips on mine throwing both of us over the edge.

"Fuck baby, I can feel you cumming on my cock," Lando groans into my mouth while still rocking his hips to make sure to ride our orgasms out.

I can feel the way his cum is splashing against the tight walls of my pussy making me gasp. I could tell he was unloading a large load that was sure to leak out of my pussy the rest of the day.

Once Lando and I have both calmed down from our orgasms he slowly slips his cock out of my pussy before laying down next to me and pulling me into his chest.

"Lando, can I ask you something?" I question softly making Lando pick his head up to give me his full attention.

"So I've been thinking, I don't really want to keep this dynamic," I tell him softly making Lando tense next to me.

"I want more," I continue trying to ease Lando's anxiety. I instantly feel his body relax against mine making me relax slightly too.

"I want more too," Lando tells me softly making a smile spread across my face.

"I mean, truthfully we've been more than sex and money this whole time. I mean at least for me. I haven't even looked at another girl the same since you gave me a taste of that pussy," Lando tells me making me laugh at his last comment.

"Well, good thing I haven't looked at another guy since you kinda destroyed me anyways," I joke making a smug smirk spread across Lando's face.

"Ya, I stretched that pussy just for my cock. No one will ever be able to make you cum again," Lando says casually as if it was a normal thing to be proud of.

"You're ridiculous," I laugh before cuddling further into Lando's side.

"So it's official?" Lando questions softly with hope laced in his voice.

"You gonna buy me dinner first?" I joke before nodding my head in agreeance.

"I just dropped 2k to watch you parade around in lingerie, I think that beats dinner. But yes of course I'm gonna take you to dinner and much more," Lando tells me softly making me smile.

[ghstzzn]

heat ⎯ jay park

pairing: jay park x fem!reader

genre: SMUT! MDNI! bodyguard!jay x rich girl!reader

warnings/tags: smut, bratty reader, mean dom jay, oral (m!rec), brat tamer jay, fingering, rough sex, orgasm denial, spanking, degradation, safeword (not used!), name calling (slut, dumb, whore etc.), pull out method, unprotected sex, masterbation, lots of mean dirty talk!, hair pulling, more tba... might've missed some.

💭: um… hey.. this was supposed to come out a week ago but i kept rewriting the smut part and tbh idk if im completely happy with it. but! here!!!! jay!!! ilysm im so sorry heres 4.7k words to make up for it!!! <3

you had yet to get used to your new routine, which consisted of waking up and getting followed almost every second of the day by your incredibly annoying (-ly sexy) bodyguard. you’ll never forget the morning you opened your bedroom door only to be greeted by a stone cold man who introduced himself as your babysitter.

it was a long week of constant fights with your parents before you realized nothing was going to change and this was how things were going to be from now on. your parents claimed you were too free and careless, and as the face of their multi-millionaire company, they just couldn’t have that. 

your bodyguard, park jonseong– though you’ve learnt he goes by jay on the job (you were to address him as mr. park), intrigued you to no end. You were warned by your parents not to act stupid and spoiled around him, but you really couldn’t help it. mr. park is just so easy to piss off. 

currently, you stood in front of the fashion center, bodyguard at your side as you waited for two of your friends to arrive. you had a long day of pushing your credit card to it’s limit and you couldn’t help but to be frustrated with the man who stood barely a foot away. you hadn’t gotten the chance to have actual free time to yourself since obtaining the bodyguard, mostly just attending company meetings and dinners with him there. nobody other than your family and employees had actually met the man face to face.

you texted your friends beforehand, sending your apologies for jay’s presence on your girls day out, but they were honestly focused on seeing the hot bodyguard that you mentioned in person. 

there is no denying just how attractive jay is. you do wonder how he came about in the job field, maybe the pay was just that good or it was a family business. but it didn’t matter, he had a face sculpted by the gods and if you didn’t hold a small petty hatred for the man, you would’ve recommended him to every single one of the modeling labels you had connections with.

“do you seriously have to be here?” you ask him, tapping away at your phone.

jay straightens his posture, face flattening at your question, “it is my duty to pro-”

you cut him off with a scoff, shoving your phone in the small purse at your side. he repeated that line anytime you complained to his face and you were quite fed up with it. “you have to watch over me and be by my side during every second of the day even when i need to piss– yes i know.” you mock his words. “but this is a mall! i’ll be with my friends, so can’t you just go and busy yourself for a few hours?”

“these are orders from your father, y/n.” he replies dryly, “i am not to leave your side. you do realize this is because of how you act when you’re away from your parents, right? if anything, this is your fault.”

you roll your eyes. jay was correct and you knew that, this was in fact your fault. if you hadn’t gotten caught and almost cost your parents a massive scandal, you wouldn’t have jay next to you at this moment. 

“this is also for your safety.”

“i don’t need you to protect me.”

jay clicks his tongue at your response, “no, but you do need to be babysat. don’t you?”

you’re ready to protest until you catch your friends walking up in the corner of your eyes. you shoot a glare at your bodyguard before slapping on a wide smile and squealing as you jog up to your friends. 

-

it’s not that jay isn’t used to walking or standing for long periods at a time, it was the fact that you took every chance to throw a shady comment his way or purposely stepping into every single store you saw even if you and your friends weren’t even interested. why did you feel the need to window shop in a store that only sold bathtubs and showers? you literally had a freshly renovated bathroom– everyone knew this. but you couldn’t help the feeling of victory when jay let out a sigh that went unnoticed by everyone except you.

jay checked the time on his watch for the nth time as you stood in front of a washer and dryer set in yet another furniture shop, talking about the great deal they were having. it didn’t matter, you were born with millions stuffed into your pocket and someone who did your laundry for you. he almost let out a victorious shout when you finally concluded you were done shopping for the day.

“wait! look at that dress.” you suddenly stop, everyone turns their gaze towards the window of the shop. “we have to go in there.”

no one could say anything before you were skipping off into the store. honestly, your friends couldn’t care less either because they dispersed as soon as the three of you entered the department store. jay watched as you asked the staff to try on the dress you had pointed out, a genuine smile painted your face while a frustrated frown made it’s way to his. yet he continued to follow you to the back of the store, taking the smaller shopping bags from your hands that you didn’t make him carry.

jay sat outside the dressing room for one minute, that one minute turned into three which soon turned into five. he lightly knocked on the door before calling out your name.

“is everything okay?”

he could hear shuffling inside the dressing room before the door clicked and opened. you stuck your head out and quickly looked around the store. “have you seen the girls?” jay also glances around the store, shaking his head no. 

“can you find them for me?” you ask him softly, he only stares at you with the answer painted on his face. you let out a frustrated sigh. “if you won’t then you’re going to have to lace up this dress for me.”

you had hoped that would be enough to send him looking for your friends, yet he stayed planted right in front of the dressing room door. you stare at him for a moment before opening the door wider and turning around, exposing your back to him in the undone dress. 

jay didn't waste a second, immediately grabbing the silk strings of the dress and lacing them through the fabric. you were about to express how shocked you were with his swift movements and skill before he backed away from you. 

you did a spin in the mirror, studying the dress that hugged your form perfectly. a smile breaks out across your face when you lift your gaze to meet your bodyguard, who was still staring at your backside. 

“do you have a girlfriend or something, mr. park?”

jay clears his throat before stepping further back, “i do not.”

his response doesn’t shock you as much. as attractive as he was, he was stuck at your side almost all day throughout the week. his schedule and job would suck for his hypothetical partner. “you wanna tell me where you learned to tie up a dress like this within thirty seconds?”

you continue to stare at him in the mirror, waiting for his response. 

“it’s not that hard.”

“no way,” you let out a laugh. “god, you totally got around before this job– am i right?”

jay doesn’t respond, he only averts his gaze from yours. 

“park jongseong, your silence is telling me you were a total whore before you became my babysitter.”

he lets out a scoff at your vulgar language, “that really wasn’t appropriate.”

“you know how to lace up a stupid satin corset. not to mention the perfect bow you tied the ends in– most men don’t even know how to tie a ribbon!” you continue. “less than thirty seconds too… you beat the clock. is this what you did for the girls you fucked?”

“watch your language here.”

you roll your eyes, “we are the same age. i don’t even know why i have to call you mr. park, you literally work for me.”

“i work for your father,” he responds, “and i’m older than you, show some respect.”

you cross your arms, mentally cursing him in your mind. his last comment rubbed you the wrong way and you were ready to start a useless one-sided argument with him. “respect? to you?”

“yes, to me. because i’m the one who has to hold your hand every second of the day because you act like a brat who’s had no parental guidance in her life every time you step into a public setting.” 

“my father pays you to be here– you work for us. so if anything–” 

“you don’t have any say in your daddys company yet, so again, you respect me.” he cuts you off with a sharp tone. “quit acting like a damn brat and– what the fuck are you doing?”

the dress you had tried on was currently unlaced and on its way off your body. a smirk made its way on your face when you caught jay’s irritated expression that was definitely laced with something more. his lash out gave you excitement and you knew you were pushing him to the edge.

jay shakes his head, backing away and slamming the dressing room door and holding it shut with his hands. this day was driving him insane and pushing him to a point that he’s never gotten to while on other jobs. you were a spoiled fucking brat and he was beyond fed up with your constant snarky remarks and attitude.

you fought with him every chance you could, half the comments you made had no points to them and he knew you were doing it to piss him off. jay didn’t know if your goal was to get him to quit or make his life a living hell with your insufferable personality, but he was sure of one thing– you did it for his reactions.

he did his best on holding back and not giving you what you wanted, but it has gotten to the point where he almost feels the need to step up and put you in your place. unfortunately, this could cost him his job so he knew he needed to hold back. your parents were aware of your shitty attitude so jay knew you wouldn’t make them bat their eyelids twice with your complaints about him. 

you push against the door a few times muttering that you were done changing. jay lets go of the door, letting you out. you stood in front of him with the dress in your hands and a heated expression. he simply grabs all the shopping bags and heads towards the checkout counter. 

after making your final purchase of the day, you parted ways with your friends after a few dramatic farewells and sat in the passenger seat of the car as you waited on Jay to finish up a phone call– most likely updating your father on your whereabouts. 

jay slides into the driver's seat,”your parents won't be home for another few days due to an emergency meeting with a partnership.”

you reply with an uncaring nod, leaning back in your seat and gazing out of the window. jay backs out of the spot and eventually you both head towards your home.

-

jays scoff cuts through the soft music playing in the car forcing you to look up from your phone, realizing the reason for his scoff. cars were at a full stop on the freeway and you couldn’t even see where it ended. 

you lean back further in your seat, slipping your shoes off and resting your feet on the dashboard, “can’t you take a different route?”

“this is the fastest route.” 

“that’s not what i asked; i asked if there’s a different route you could take.” you respond with know it all tone.

“if there was another route then i’d be taking it, smartass.” jay glances at your bare legs. he tries his hardest to not let his gaze linger on your skirt that was pushed at your upper thighs due to the position. “put your feet down.”

“why?” you know why. he knows you know why. 

“it’s dangerous.”

“but we aren’t moving..? plus, i’m comfortable.”

you were so close. so incredibly close.

“it doesn’t matter if you’re comfortable, put your feet down– it’s not safe and i will not drive you anywhere else unless you move them right now.”

so close.

you roll your eyes and slip your feet back into your shoes. jay lets out a tired sigh. the traffic was barely moving and you were being difficult once more, except this time you were both trapped on the road. you really picked the perfect opportunities to piss him off.

jay lets out yet another sigh when he notices you moving around. 

“what?” he asks as you slide the top part of the seat belt behind your head and off of your chest. “put that back on, please.”

“but why?” 

“do i really need to explain to you why wearing your seat belt correctly in a moving vehicle is necessary or are you going to be a big girl and put it back on?” 

“we aren’t moving, jay.” you whine out. “i’ll be fine! i will put it back when we actually start moving above five miles per hour.”

jay runs his hand through his hair as the other one grips the steering wheel. “wear it correctly.”

“make me.”

he tried. he really did. jay mentally apologizes to your father before turning to you with an angry expression. “wear the fucking seat belt correctly or i will make you– and i promise you will not like it.”

you bite back the growing smirk and continue to stare at him. you did it.

jay gives himself three seconds before turning his body towards you, he reaches over and grabs the top part and pulls it over your body and tugging it tightly. you muffle your laugh, which was your last mistake. he grabs your chin roughly, forcing you to look at him.

“keep acting like a god damn brat.” he spits. “keep it up.”

you don’t respond to him as you were trying your hardest to calm your pounding heart and ignoring the ever growing need in your core.

“i’ve had it up to hear with your shitty attitude all week– you pushed it today and it will not go unnoticed.” he continues, pulling your face closer to his spot in the driver's seat. “keep up this behavior and i’ll show you exactly what happens to spoiled fucking brats like you. do you understand me?”

you really fucking did it. you pushed stone cold jay park to his limits and it made your cunt ache deliciously. jay catches the way your thighs rub together not so subtly, and it pisses him off.

“you wanted this reaction, right?” he utters in a low voice. “you did all of this just to get a fucking reaction out of me, huh? answer me, brat.”

you try your hardest to nod with the tight grip he holds on your jaw. 

“you got it, does that make you happy?” 

you don’t hesitate before nodding again. 

“yeah? make that pathetic cunt of yours drip?”

you don’t get a chance to respond when the car behind yours starts to honk. jay groans and lets go of you, returning his attention back to the road. you remain still, somewhat in shock with his choice of words.

“fuck it.” he grunts out before suddenly turning the wheel sharply and slamming on the accelerator. jay quickly pulls into an exit lane next to you and speeds off.

“i thought there wasn’t another route.” you mutter, holding the side of the door tightly.

“keep that fucking mouth shut.”

oh, you were in for it.

-

before you could even process it, you were getting yanked inside the house by your wrist, loads of shopping bags forgotten in the car. 

your heels clack against the marble floors as jay pulls you through the house, though he was tempted to fuck you against the front door. he stops you once you both reach the living room.

“name a color.”

“what?” you reply, visibly confused. why was he suddenly talking about colors?

jay scoffs, “just give me a color.”

you think for a moment before responding with purple.

“that’s your safeword tonight– do not forget it.”

oh. oh. you fucked up. jay lets out a pleased hum before spinning you around and bending you over the back of your family couch. your eyes widen and you grab onto the cushions, turning your head to look at him as he stands behind you.

“what are yo-” you were cut up by your own yelp when jay lifts your skirt and lands a harsh slap to your ass. 

“didn’t i say to keep that mouth shut?” he spits. “you speak when i tell you to.”

“i’m s-” another smack. 

“you can’t be this stupid.” jay rubs his hand against your bare ass, his fingers sliding under the thin lace of your panties teasingly. he lets out a mocking chuckle when his fingers graze over the wetness oozing out of your cunt. “getting a rise out of me really does get you wet. tell me what your goal was.”

when you don’t respond, jay simply lays another smack on your skin, causing you to jolt on top of the couch. 

“you really are a spoiled brat. i said, tell me what you wanted the most out of today.”

“just… just wanted you.” you mumble, which was the wrong answer because jay smacks your ass again. the skin started to burn as well as your knees from being bent over the uncomfortable couch for this long.

“what was that?” his tone is more demanding than taunting now. you take a deep breath, any shame or embarrassment you had disappeared with each smack to your ass.

“w-wanted to piss you off,” you shakily let out. “wanted you to fuck me, jay.”

jay smirks from behind you, “wanted me to fuck you?”

you nod your head and let out a yes that came out more like a whimper than anything. 

“do you think you deserve to get fucked? or even cum?” he continues to ask. “you were so bad today, you know?”

“i-i know. i’m sorry.” you really did sound so pathetic. never in your life did you think you would be begging a man to fuck you when he hasnt even touched you yet.

jay lifts you up to a standing position, giving you a soft smile before sending you to your knees. you almost fall against his legs but you quickly grip onto the fabric of his slacks. “show me how sorry you are, then i’ll think about letting you cum.”

you waste no time fumbling with the belt on his slacks, hands shaking as they pop open the button and yank his pants down just enough to free his hardened cock. you don’t attempt to start slow, not thinking twice before getting straight to work, with your hand wrapped around the base and your tongue dragging along his tip.

jay inhales sharply, taking a hold on your hair as you begin stuffing him in your mouth. “god– fucking eager, aren’t you?” he spits out as you bob your head on his cock, his hand assisting your head. 

“shit, baby.” jay can’t hold back from thrusting his hips, the sigh beneath him only makes him ache. the tip of his dick knocking against your throat with each small thrust. “you– fuck… you suck cock like a slut. you want it that bad, huh?”

he knows he won't be able to last any longer like this, not with the way your pretty eyes glance up at him while your mouth grips onto his cock, or the way drool spills out of your mouth because he’s almost too big for your mouth.

a particularly harsh thrust into your mouth has you almost stumbling over, both your hands grab onto jays thighs to stabilize yourself. jay uses this to thrust a few more times before pulling out, leaving you breathless and gasping. he tilts your head up at him, taking his thumb and wiping the drool from the corner of your mouth and shoving it in your mouth.

he laughs at the way your lips immediately close around his thumb, “such a good girl– so well behaved now. what happened to the bratty little girl from earlier?” his thumb explores your mouth, pushing down on your tongue as he continues to jeer. “all it took was a cock in your mouth to put you in your place? to get that annoying mouth of yours to shut up and behave?”

you stare up at him with eager eyes, you only nod at his taunts. jay finds your actions endearing, and if it weren’t for the situation, he would be doing everything and anything to make you cum immediately.

“get up.”

with shaky legs you follow his instructions, standing up straight. one look from jay has you turning around and bending over the couch again, waiting for his next move. your underwear sticks to you uncomfortably under your skirt, and you only yearn for jay to touch you again.

“seems like you can follow instructions after all– even without me saying anything.” jay lifts your skirt and rubs your ass, which was still red from him spanking you. he wraps his finger around the band of your panties before pulling them down and letting them fall to your ankles. 

he almost groans at the sight, almost hoping you’d be an insufferable brat in the future if it meant he could have you bent over the couch in the middle of your living room like this everyday. jay grips your hips, holding you still as he teases your cunt with the tip of his cock, running it up and down your soaked lips.

“jay– please.” your bodyguard only shushes you as he pushes inside of you, stretching you out slowly. he continues thrusting in and out at a painfully slow pace, making sure you can feel him with every stroke.

jay makes sure you know this isn’t for you. everytime you whine and plead him to go faster or slower, he reminds you who's in charge. 

you’re choking back moans, practically squealing into the couch cushions as jay slams into you from behind, “you don’t get to make demands here… fuck! you take what i give you.”

any chance you can feel yourself about to cum, jays ripping his cock away from you– degrading you and sending you taunts as you beg for more. he tightens his hand in your hair, tugging with each harsh thrust he delivers. it’s almost too much for you, your body already weak from his brutal pace and grip and now with each orgasm being taken away. 

“p-please.. wanna cum.” you mewl out pathetically, in which jay responds with a laugh and a tug on your hair that has you yelping. 

“you wanna cum?” he grunts out. you nod your head followed by a bunch of yes’s and pleases. jay shoves you head into the cushion below you and lifts your leg onto the back on the couch, his cock now hitting deeper inside of you. “god… so pathetic. keep beggin’ because you aren’t cuming on this cock.” 

his thrusts grow angrier and needier as he pushes himself towards the edge, making sure he takes any chance of coming from you. jay's chest is almost flat against yours as he pounds into you.

jay pulls out once again but this time quickly stroking himself with his hand before letting go on your lower back with a loud groan, making sure you know in more than one way that he got to cum and you didn’t. his release is hot against your skin, a reminder that your actions had consequences. jay continues to milk himself, his cum dripping on your bunched up skirt and your bare ass.

you tremble against the couch, whimpering. “please.. please let me cum. ill- ill be so good, please jay.”

“fuuck– you wanna cum that bad?” he responds, his orgasm still evident in his voice. 

“yes… yes, please.”

“then fuck yourself.”

you turn around, gripping the couch from behind. “what?”

jay has already pulled his slacks up, zipping and buttoning them shut before speaking again, “i said fuck yourself if you want to cum. right here– right now. do it then maybe i’ll keep that in mind next time to piss me off.”

you gulp at his words, your mind already reeling that this could happen again. “but.. want you to do it.”

“you want me to do it?” he coos, chuckling when you nod your head shamelessly. “your little pouty lips won't get you anywhere with me, doll. i know you can do it yourself– and i know damn well you think of me when you fuck yourself late at night like a whore in heat.”

he puts his hands on both sides of you as you lean against the backside of the couch, you could feel his come drip off your ass and down your legs. shakily, you reach a hand between your thighs and jay follows with his eyes. “see how easy it is to listen?”

you pinch and rub at your clit, letting out small gasps and whimpers as you desperately try to get yourself to cum. jay lifts your skirt and bunches it at your hips, gripping tightly as he watches you grind against your own hand. 

“i thought you wanted to cum? i know you can do better than that.” you felt humiliated in this position, more embarrassed than when you were begging for him earlier. you dip your fingers inside your cunt, curling and attempting to press against your sweet spot. 

your body was hot with need, and with jay’s eyes watching your every move as you continued your pathetic demonstrations. he seems fed up with your attempts to make yourself cum because he's quickly replacing your hand with his own and gripping your face with his other.

“too dumb to do it yourself? is that it?” he spits out as he curls his fingers inside of you, ripping a moan from your throat. “are you only good for acting like a spoiled fucking brat? you really can’t do shit by yourself?”

his grip on your face tightens as he forces you to look at him as he thrust his fingers in and out of you with his palm flat against your clit. your body arches into his touch, hips twitching with every movement of his fingers.

“j-jay… fuck–” you groan loudly. it wasn’t his cock, but god was he great with his hands. his long fingers thrusting up against the spot you need it to hit the most. 

“you look so pathetic like this, you know? needing to be fucked straight in order for you to act right– like a slut.” he continues, his voice as rough as his hands. “is that what you are? a slut? did daddy need to just hire someone to fuck you like this for you to behave like a good girl?”

you must be nodding your head pathetically because jay only lets out a mocking laugh.

“as long as you get to cum right?”

“yes– yes, god, please i’m so close!” you beg, slightly muffled from the grip jay holds on your cheeks. 

it only takes a few more thrusts and curls from jays fingers to have your body shaking and your cunt clenching tightly before letting go completely. long, strained whines leave your mouth as you ride out your orgasm. you felt almost disappointed, you were almost shocked you came at all considering how many times you had the chance ripped away from you, but you knew better than to voice that outloud.

jay slowly pulls his fingers from your pulsing hole, bringing his fingers up to show you. his grip loosens on your face and he brushes your hair back softly before pushing your cum coated fingers into your mouth.

“you have a dinner to attend in place of your parents in an hour,” he starts, “if you act right then maybe we can talk about your reward, okay?”

you nod at him, mouth closed around his fingers as you tasted yourself on him.

“good girl.”

[fanfics4all]

Domestic Abuse

Request: Yes / No Thank you @badthingshappenbingo​ for my card! 

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 4981

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, bruises, injuries, scared to leave someone, 

Y/N: Your Name 

A/N: I won't be tagging anyone since this could be triggering!

Prompt(s):

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

If you enjoy my work, you could also show support by buying me a coffee! 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

I should have left before we moved. Hell, the whole reason we moved was because people started noticing the bruises I couldn’t hide as well. Fifteen years with Chris was now my nightmare. He wasn’t always a bad guy, but then again they never are, are they? We were high school sweethearts and got married five years after we graduated. We had our son Cameron just a few months later. It wasn’t until Cameron turned four that the abuse started. Maybe it was the stress from his job and having a child so young that made him start, but it’s no excuse. I was scared of him. For the first time since I knew Chris, I was scared of him. 

It was a Friday night and Cameron was sick. I hadn’t been out of the house that wasn’t for groceries, taking Cameron to school, or an appointment in months. I had asked Chris if he could watch our son while I went out and had a girl's night. Mistake number one. 

“You’re his fucking Mother, you take care of him. That’s your damn job.” He growled. 

“Chris I haven’t been out in forever. The girls just want to-” 

“Oh, bullshit!” He shouted and stood up. 

“You just wanna go out and slut around some fucking club like the stupid whore you are! Am I not fucking enough for you? I mean come the fuck on Y/N, you don’t need to work because I fucking provide for you and that fucking kid, who now I’m not even sure if he’s fucking mine because you’re such a whore-” 

“Of course he’s yours! I haven’t been with another man since high school!” I shouted back. Mistake number two. He raised his fist and slammed it into my face. 

“Don’t you fucking talk back to me!” He shouted so loud I was worried he’d wake Cameron up. He didn’t need to see his Father like this. Tears slowly fell down my face as I looked up at the man I didn’t even recognize now. 

“C-Chris, please… J-Just lower your voice or you’ll wake Cameron.” 

“I don’t give a shit! You have a great fucking life with me and you’re sitting here trying to go out and cheat!” He screamed. He gripped me by the shirt and lifted me off the ground. 

“You get the fuck in the kitchen and grab me a beer then fuck back off to take care of that kid like you’re supposed to.” He growled in my face and I nodded, terrified of what else he’d do. He shoved me away and I fell back to the floor. He sat back on the couch and glared at me. 

“Fucking hurry up.” He said and I scrambled to do as he asked. I rushed into Cameron’s room and he was still out, thank God. 

A few weeks later Chris was on a business trip and it was just Cameron and myself. I was so relieved to be rid of Chris for a bit, but I knew he’d be keeping track of me and checking the cameras he had hidden in the apartment. I had only found a few, but I had no idea how many there were. It didn’t help that just before he left he beat me as a reminder that I was stuck with him. He wanted to make sure I wouldn’t show my face in public, so I had plenty of bruises to try and cover-up. I did my best, but Cameron could still see a bit on my face. I had to lie and tell him I fell in the shower last night. 

It was the last day Chris was gone and I needed to get more groceries. I made a quick list and grabbed my purse. I walked over to Cameron’s room and smiled as I saw him playing with his trucks. 

“Hey baby, you wanna come to the grocery store with Mommy? I’ll get you a treat if you’re good.” I said and he smiled brightly at me. 

“Otay Mommy!” He said and walked over to me. I picked him and and lightly tickled his stomach. He giggled and pushed my hands away. 

“Let’s get your shoes on.” I said and walked to the front door. I sat him on the little bench near the door and helped him put his shoes on. 

“Do you want me to carry you or do you wanna walk to the car?” I asked.

“Walk!” He said and I nodded. I helped him hop off the bench and opened the door for him. He walked out and I turned to lock the door. 

“Pencer!” I heard Cameron shout and his little footsteps running off. I turned my head and saw him running towards our neighbor, Spencer. Cameron ran right up to him and hugged his leg, making Spencer look down at him. 

“Hi.” Cameron said with his adorably goofy grin.

“Hey, Cameron.” Spencer said kneeling to his level. I quickly locked the door and rushed over to them. 

“Cameron! I’ve told you not to just run off without me.” I said and he just smiled at me. 

“But Pencer home.” He said and I gave Spencer a sheepish smile. Spencer stood up and Cameron walked over to my side, holding my hand. Spencer studied my face and his brows furrowed. He looked me over completely and cleared his throat. 

“Are you alright, Y/N?” He asked and I forced a smile that I really hoped looked genuine. 

“I’m fine. Cameron and I are just going grocery shopping since Chris is coming home tomorrow…” I said and he raised a brow. 

“I-I don’t want to seem rude, but what happened to your cheek?” He asked and I felt my heart skip a beat and my eyes involuntarily widened a bit. 

“Oh nothing, I just fell in the shower last night.” I said with a nervous laugh. Spencer stepped a bit closer and I flinched. I silently cursed myself for reacting when I knew Spencer would never hurt me. He was always so sweet, even if we didn’t talk a lot. He wasn’t home a lot and we simply had some small talk when we did see each other in the hallway. Cameron loved seeing him though, he always thought Spencer was cool. 

“Who did this to you?” He asked in a whisper. I bit my lip and looked down at Cameron who was still smiling up at us. He didn’t hear Spencer. 

“Spencer…” I whispered and shook my head. He looked down at Cameron and knelt down. 

“Hey Cameron, have you ever seen an abacus?” He asked and Cameron looked at him confused. He shook his head and looked up at me. 

“It’s an old calculator.” Spencer said, but he still looked confused. 

“It’s helps people count.” I said. 

“Oh! No.” Cameron said. 

“Why don’t you and your Mom come inside and I can show you?” Spencer asked and looked up at me. 

“Can we Mommy?” He asked. 

“Uh, we should really go get the groceries.” I said and Cameron frowned. He gave me those adorable little puppy eyes and I sighed. I knew Spencer was just trying to distract my son so he could get some answers out of me. 

“I-I guess a minute wouldn’t hurt…” I said and Cameron lit up. 

“Yay! Fank you Mommy!” He said and hugged my leg. Spencer opened his apartment and Cameron rushed inside. Spencer motioned me to follow him and I hesitantly walked inside. It was very neat and there were books everywhere. Spencer placed his bags near the door and locked it. Cameron was picking up a book and looking it over. I walked over to him and gently took it out of his hands. 

“We don’t pick up other people’s things without asking them, baby.” I said and he frowned. 

“Sworry Mommy…” He said. 

“It’s alright, he can look at it if he’d like.” Spencer said. Cameron smiled and I handed the book back to him. 

“There aren’t any pictures so I don’t think you’ll enjoy it very much.” Spencer chuckled. Cameron frowned and put the book back where he found it. 

“Can I see the abracadabra?” He asked and we both laughed a little. 

“Abacus, baby.” I said and he looked at me confused. I shook my head and kissed his forehead. Spener walked into another room and came out with a very nice-looking abacus. He placed it on his coffee table and motioned Cameron over. He walked over and looked in awe of the beads. 

“See you just move them up and down like this.” Spencer showed him. 

“Each bead represents one and each row is a different place value and you just-” 

“Spencer.” I cut him off and he looked up at me. 

“He’s five. He’s not going to understand.” I said with a small smile and Spencer blushed. 

“Right, sorry. Cameron, why don’t you play with this for a bit while I talk to your mom?” He asked and Cameron nodded with a huge smile. He was moving the beads and just having fun counting them. Spencer stood up and walked towards me. He motioned to the other side of the room and I glanced at my son. 

“Be gentle, baby. Don’t break it, okay?” I said and Cameron nodded. I sighed and walked over to Spencer while keeping my eyes on my son. 

“Who did this, Y/N?” He asked. I was so scared to tell him. I never wanted anyone to see me at my lowest, besides Spencer probably has his own shit to deal with. 

“Spencer…” I sighed and shook my head. I looked at him and it was clear he knew something was wrong. He saw my bruises that were way too dark still to cover. He probably saw the way I tensed up when he stepped closer to me. 

“I can help you, Y/N. I work for the FBI, if someone is hurting you I can help.” He said and my eyes widened. 

“Y-You work for the FBI?” I asked and he nodded. 

“Hold on.” He said. He walked over to his bag by the door and came back after he found something. He held out his badge and I carefully took it. 

‘BAU SPECIAL AGENT Dr. Spencer Reid’ I read and looked back up at him. 

“I-I can’t tell you… He’ll kill me, or my son, or both of us. I don’t have anywhere else to go and I don’t have enough money to leave him. He’s in control of everything…” I whispered as a tear fell down my cheek. 

“Hey slow down, I’ll help you. I promise I’ll help you, my team will help you, but I need you to tell me who’s doing this to you.” He said and I shook my head. We both knew who I was talking about but Spencer needed me to say it. I flinched as I heard my phone ring and quickly dug through my purse to find it. Once I pulled it out my throat tightened. Chris was calling me. It was probably because I told him I was going to get groceries, but was still in our apartment building… My hands started shaking and Spencer gently took my phone for me. He looked at who was calling and saw it was Chris. He looked in my eyes and probably could see just how scared I was. 

“Y/N I need you to say his name if I’m going to help you.” He said. I bit my lip and stared at him as the phone slowly went silent. There was ding after ding, signaling Chris was texting me. I gulped and took a deep breath. 

“I-It’s C-Chris… He hits me, that’s why we moved here…” I admitted quietly. 

“Does he hit Cameron?” He asked and I shook my head. He nodded and looked over at my son.

“Why don’t you go sit with Cameron? I’m gonna go call my boss and we’ll get this sorted.” He said and I nodded. Spencer walked into the other room and I took a seat on the couch as I watched Cameron play. He turned to look at me and his smile fell. 

“What’s wrong Mommy?” He asked and walked over to me. 

“Nothing baby, Mommy just got something in her eye.” I said and forced a smile. He didn’t look totally convinced, but it worked for now. He turned to play with the abacus more and showed me how well he could count. 

It wasn’t long before Spencer walked back in and sat next to me. He still had my phone, but I guess he turned it on silent. 

“Hey Cameron, how would you like to go visit the FBI office?” He asked and I looked at him with wide eyes. 

“Yeah! Please, Mommy?” He asked. Spencer gave me a small nod and a reassuring smile. 

“S-Sure baby…” I said and he jumped with joy. Cameron rushed to the door, but before I could scold him Spencer gently placed a hand on mine. I didn’t flinch. 

“Do you know if he’s tracking your car?” He asked and I shook my head. 

“I-I don’t know… m-maybe?” I said and he nodded. 

“Okay, then you need to drive your car and follow me. I’ll keep your phone so you don’t need to worry about whatever he’s saying, okay?” He said and I nodded. 

“Come on, Mommy!” Cameron called. I got up and scooped him into my arms. 

“I can walk Mommy.” He said and I smiled. 

“I know, baby, but I just want to hold you right now.” I said. We waited for Spencer to lock his door before we all headed down to the garage. I placed Cameron into his car seat and he was very excited to go see the FBI office. I wish it wasn’t because his Father is a monster, but he didn’t need to know that. I kissed his head and shut the door. I turned to find Spencer standing there watching us with a smile. 

“Just follow me.” He said and I nodded. He stepped closer to me and gently grabbed my hand. 

“I promise me and my team will keep the two of you safe.” He said and I nodded. 

We each got in our cars and I filled the ride with Cameron’s favorite songs. He was singing and smiling the whole way there. Cameron was the only thing keeping me from breaking down right now. The ride to the office building wasn’t horribly long and I parked right next to Spencer. He gave me another reassuring smile and led the way up to the BAU. When we got off the elevator he led us inside and Cameron was looking around in awe. We walked through some glass doors and into a room filled with desks and a few private offices. 

“Hey, pretty boy!” A man called and Spencer looked over at him. The man walked up to us and set his eyes on me.

“Oh and who might this be?” He asked with a smirk. 

“This is my neighbor, Y/N, and her son Cameron. Y/N, this is Derek Morgan.” Spencer introduced us. I noticed him stare at my cheek and I glanced away slightly. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” I said. 

“Reid.” A man with a deep voice said. Spencer and I both looked at him and he was dressed in a suit. His face was hard and I couldn’t read any emotions from him. He motioned to another room. Spencer nodded and looked back at me. 

“Maybe Cameron should hang out with one of my team members?” He suggested. I held him a little tighter and Spencer could tell I was scared. Spencer came closer and leaned next to my ear.

“Do you want him to hear everything we need to know?” He whispered and I gulped. Spencer pulled back and I gave him a small nod. 

“I can watch him.” A blonde girl said with a kind smile. 

“Y/N, Cameron, this is JJ.” Spencer introduced. I placed Cameron down and knelt down. 

“Can you be good for Miss. JJ?” I asked and he nodded. 

“You can just call me JJ.” She said and I nodded. 

“Okay, I’m gonna be in that room over there with Spencer if you need me okay?” I said and he nodded. 

“Otay Mommy!” He said and walked over to JJ. 

“Do you catch bad people?” He asked and she smiled. 

“Yeah, we do.” She said as she took him over to a desk. I got up and smiled. Spencer gently nudged me and I looked over at him. He motioned me to go ahead and I followed the emotionless man into the room. It had a small couch against the wall and a round table in front of a TV. Spencer closed the door after him and the man pulled the curtains closed. 

“Y/N, this is my boss.” Spencer said. 

“Aaron Hotchern.” The man said and held his hand out. I took it and gave him a sheepish smile. 

“Please, take a seat.” He motioned to the couch and I sat down. Spencer sat next to me. Aaron sat in one of the chairs in front of us. 

“Now, Reid informed me that your husband abuses you and keeps track of you?” He asked and I nodded. 

“He’s been blowing up her phone, Sir.” Spencer said and passed him my phone. Aaron scrolled through my phone and his eyes hardened. 

“He’s threatening your life and the life of your son.” He said and my heart skipped a beat. 

“Please, you can’t let him hurt Cameron.” I begged, letting a few tears slip. Spencer held my hand and gently squeezed. 

“We won’t let him hurt either of you.” He said and Aaron nodded. 

“Can you tell me how long this has been going on?” Aaron asked. 

“About a year. It started maybe a month after Cameron turned four? We moved here because I-I couldn’t hide the bruises as well anymore and Chris didn’t want to get caught…” I whispered. Aaron and Spencer shared a look before Aaron got up. 

“I’ll be right back.” He said and left the room. 

“What’s he going to do, Spencer?” I asked. 

“He’s going to talk to the rest of the team and we’re going to help you.” He said and my eyes widened. 

“Don’t worry, JJ won’t let Cameron hear anything. I promise.” He said and I nodded but bit my lip. 

“Did you know more than 50% of domestic violence incidents go unreported?” He asked and I looked at him confused. 

“W-What?” I asked. 

“It’s because they’re scared of their partner.” He said. 

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked. 

“Because you’re being strong by letting us help. You told me when you really didn’t have to. You could have just picked Cameron up and walked off to the grocery store and pretended nothing ever happened. You could have stayed scared and continued being with Chris. But here you are.” He said and I stared at him in awe. 

“I-I still am scared.” I said and he smiled. 

“I know, but that’s okay.” He said. 

“Why did you decide to help me? You could have just ignored us too.” I asked and his smile grew a bit. 

“It’s my job to help people, I was on my way to work anyway.” He said and I actually giggled. 

“Well thank you. I owe you big time.” I said and he shook his head. 

“Y/N, it’s my job. You don’t owe me anything.” He said. 

“Well, I’d still like to thank you somehow, maybe if I get some money back I can buy you dinner?” I asked and he blushed. 

“U-Uh you don’t…” He cleared his throat. 

“You don’t have to do that.” He said and I smiled. 

“But I’d like to. If you can save me and Cameron from what Chris has become, then I’d really like to thank you somehow.” I said and he slowly nodded. 

“I-I think this is the first time I’ve really seen you smile. I’ve noticed how they all looked forced, but I just assumed it was from work stress or from taking care of a small child.” He said and I blushed. 

“Cameron is the only thing that makes me smile anymore. Well that and you helping us.” I said. The door opened and a blonde girl with an interesting-looking dress, along with a black-haired woman, walked in and Aaron followed after her. He shut the door and she sat down right next to me. Aaron sat in the chair and the black-haired woman sat next to him. 

“Don’t you worry about a thing sweetie! We are going to take good care of you and that little bundle of joy out there. I’m going to hack into that tracker he has on your phone and Morgan is searching your car to see if he’s tracking that too. Then I’m going to work some of my magic and get you back in control of your accounts and you’ll be right as rain!” She said in an extremely happy tone. I stared at her with wide eyes and looked over at Spencer. He nodded with a smile and I looked back towards the girl. 

“T-Thank you… You can really do all that?” I asked and she smiled. 

“Of course I can! I’m a tech wizard!” She said and I smiled. I couldn’t stop myself from hugging her. 

“Thank you so much, uh…” I said with more tears falling. She returned the hug and rubbed my back. 

“Penelope. Right well. I’m going to go be your fairy godmother now. You’re in great hands.” She said and winked at Spencer. He blushed and she left the room. 

“Y/N.” Aaron said, and I looked over at him and the woman. 

“This is Agent Emily Prentiss.” He introduced. I wiped my eyes and smiled. 

“Hi Y/N, I’m going to need to ask you about what Chris did.” She said as she pulled out a notepad. I took a deep breath and nodded. 

“Okay, I need you to tell me everything he did in as much detail as you can. I’ll also need to take pictures of the bruises without makeup.” She said and I cringed a little. No one really knows how bad they were. 

“O-Okay.” I said. 

“We can take you to the hospital and make sure there isn’t more serious damage.” Aaron said. 

“Oh no, that’s okay.” I said. 

“We need to, Y/N, for the report.” Spencer said and I gulped. 

“Cameron can’t see, Spencer…” I said. 

“Do you have anyone you trust to watch him?” He asked and I shook my head. 

“Both my parents are dead, I don’t have any siblings, and my friends are all friends with Chris… I told you, I’m alone in this.” I said, a tear slipping down my cheek. 

“I can’t lose him, Spencer…” I said, more tears falling. 

“Hey, you won’t lose him, okay? I can see if JJ can watch him, she has kids his age.” He said and I bit my lip. 

“That’s too much I can’t ask that.” I said. 

“Y/N, we really need to take you to the hospital.” He said. His sweet, kind eyes were begging me to agree. 

“We need to make sure there isn’t more serious damage.” He added. 

“T-There is…” I whispered. 

“Y/N, I need you to tell me everything.” Emily said. I took a deep breath and looked up at her. I saw my phone light up and his name flash on the screen. I gulped and Aaron picked up the phone to look at it. 

“I know this will be hard, but I need you to talk to him. Can you do that?” He asked and my eyes widened. 

“Hotch, you can’t ask her to do that. She’s terrified.” Spencer said. The phone stopped ringing and Aaron sighed. 

“He’s going to call back, let me get Garcia and she can track it.” He said and left the room. 

“B-But he’s out of the state, he’s not coming back until tomorrow.” I said confused. 

“He could have come back early.” Emily said and I felt my throat tighten. My breathing became heavy and I felt a strong need to get Cameron and run as far as we could. 

“Hey Y/N, it’s okay, you’re safe here. Just breath.” Spencer said and gently turned my head to face him. 

“H-He’ll kill us…” I whispered in a shaky breath. 

“No, we won’t let him, just take a deep breath.” He said and took an exaggerated breath. I tried to follow him and eventually calmed down by the time Aaron and Penelope returned. She sat down and opened her laptop. 

“Alright, next time he calls I’ll be able to know exactly where he is. 

“You need to keep him talking for as long as possible,” Emily said as she moved to sit next to me. I nodded and my phone lit up again. Chris. My hands were shaking and I felt Spencer place his hand on my thigh. 

“It’s okay, he can’t hurt you here.” He said and I nodded. I took a deep breath and answered the phone, putting it on speaker. 

“Hey, honey.” I said, trying to sound as normal as possible. 

“Where the hell are you? You said you were going to the grocery store and now I can’t see where the fuck you are.” He growled. 

“I was just taking Cameron to the park first.” I said, hoping my lie sounded convincing. 

“You didn’t fucking ask permission to go to the fucking park! You probably left our son at him by himself and went to go get fucked like the stupid whore you are!” He shouted. 

“No, Chris I-” 

“Shut your fucking mouth! I’m going to fucking kill you and find a proper bitch to take care of MY son.” He said and hung up. I dropped my phone and started breaking down. Spencer wrapped an arm around me and gently rubbed me up and down. 

“Garcia, anything?” Aaron asked. 

“He’s on the highway, it looked like he’s going to her phone's last location which is-” 

“Here…” I whispered. I quickly stood up and headed for the door. 

“Y/N, where are you going?” Spencer asked, following me to the door. 

“Home.” I answered and went to open the door, but Spencer stopped me. 

“He said he’d kill you.” He said and I sighed. 

“He’s said it before and hasn’t done it. He’ll just hit me.” I said and Spencer shook his head. 

“I can’t just let you leave and go back to that. He came home early all because you didn’t go to the grocery store. You don’t know when he’ll snap.” He said and I shook my head. 

“What if today’s the day that he hits Cameron?” He asked and I turned to face him. 

“I would never let that happen.” I said and he sighed. 

“Please, Y/N, we can help you.” He said and I dropped my hand from the handle. 

“I-I have pictures… of what he did to me…” I said and they all looked at me. 

“Where are they?” Emily asked. 

“My phone, in a hidden folder.” I said. She picked it and and started looking for it. 

“Hotch.” She said and showed him the phone. He nodded and looked over at us. 

“Y/N, you and your son need to stay here. If your husband is really coming to try and kill you then this is the safest place. Is Morgan still searching her car?” He asked Penelope. 

“Yes Sir.” She answered. 

“Good, I’ll let him know Chris is on his way and we can meet him down there.” He said and Emily nodded. 

“Reid, you can stay up here with Y/N.” He said and Spencer nodded. They all left the room and it was just Spencer and myself. 

“W-What about Cameron?” I asked. 

“JJ will watch him still, Hotch won’t let him know anything.” He said and I nodded. 

“I want to see him. I need to hold my baby, Spencer.” I said. 

“You will okay? Just calm down a bit.” He said and gently pulled me in for a hug. 

“Just breath, Y/N. Then I’ll go get Cameron and you can hold him as much as you want.” He said, rubbing my back. It took me a little bit, but I managed to calm down. Spencer was a huge help and I pulled back, smiling at him. I wiped my tears and reached into my purse to check that the makeup was still in place. Thank God most of it was and I just had to fix it a little bit. 

“Let me go get Cameron.” Spencer said and walked out of the room. I closed my eyes and tried my best to keep my breathing normal. 

“You’re safe here.” Spencer’s words repeated in my head. 

“We’re safe here.” I whispered to myself. 

The door opened and I looked over to see Cameron laughing as Spencer tickled his side. I smiled and the sight made my heart skip a beat. Spencer was such a good person. Cameron looked over at me and his smile only grew. 

“Mommy!” He said and squirmed in Spencer’s hold. Spencer let him go and he ran up to me. I pulled him onto my lap and hugged him tightly. 

“Mommy, too tight…” He mumbled and I pulled back a bit. 

“Sorry baby.” I said and he looked at me confused. 

“What’s wrong, Mommy?” He asked and I shook my head. 

“Nothing baby, everything is gonna be okay.” I said and kissed his head. I looked up at Spencer and he nodded at me. Everything is gonna be okay.

[chaos-chloe]

Love Unplugged- Pezzy x F!reader

Summary: QNA before TwitchCon

TW: Established relationship, kissing, Sly, cursing, if i missed anything lmk <3

“Chat, since this is the last stream before Twitchcon, ___ and I thought it would be an idea to do a mini, relationship Q&A with yall.” Pezzy suggested the idea “Would y’all like that? Like get to know us and __ more?”

Chatuser: YEA

chatter2:Hell yeah

Chattsuser: pepeyes

Mod2: how are we doing this?

Userchatter: Mmmm

Mod3: any limits? What are we deleting?

___users: Nothing super weird, nothing stupid like ssn and credit card info. dont be annoying

“Yeah, what ___ said.” Pezzy agreed wholeheartedly with ___. “Babe, come on in the office-oh anyway before you come in; can you bring me some water?”

___user: yeah, lemme get some real clothes on

While ___ was getting ready, Pezzy was chatting a bit with chat trying to get a grasp of what the sea of questions were going to look like. Some chatters were already being weird, thankfully the mods were on top of everything tonight for the ending segment. 

With the chat buzzing with excitement, I entered Pezzy’s office with Sly in my arms, smiled widely and began reading the questions aloud. “Alright, fam! Let’s see what you have for us. Remember, no question is too weird,” I chuckled

“Let’s start with something simple-Oo like how did y’all meet?”___ Blank read outloud. “We meet officially through Mr. ElasticDroid with one of the late night Discord sessions, right?” I asked uncertainty, turning towards Pezzy. 

“Yeah, I slightly remember it, I believe it was the night where it was you, Simple, Ash, Grizzy, Droid, Tuxi and I were all on call. I think that was when you told Droid all the “hot gossip” and that's when I was like “yep she's mine” Pezzy divided into more details for chat. ”Oh my god, it was because it was the night he went “Buzz Buzz Bitch” and clapped back with “You keep buzzing but you aint gonna get an answer.” 

“Oh my-Yes! It was that night where I was invited to more chats, cause y’all, as in you chat, wanted more of me clapping back on the boys, mostly Ash.” I was enjoying the trip down memory lane filled with nostalgia. 

As the chat filled up with laughter and fun inquiries, question after question brought out their playful banter and candidness. 

“Why do you think opposites attract?” one user typed. I shot a glance at Pezzy with a wry smile. "Well, maybe it's because Pezzy keeps my dark heart light,” she teased, watching Pezzy feign shock before grinning back.

“Yeah, and ___ keeps my chaotic life grounded,” Pezzy added, smirking as Sly curled his tail around Pezzy's wrist, as if he approved of the sentiment.

“Here’s a fun one- ‘What song would describe your relationship the best?” Pezzy read outloud with a thinking face, “Hmmm, it's an old throwback for us, “My love” by Justin Timberlake. As cringy as this sounds but it's true; “Ain’t another woman that can take your spot”. Pezzy included an explanation.

“You know, I will have to go with Just Can't Get Enough by the Black Eyed Peas.” I say with some secrets not needing to be revealed to the public. “I would go deeper like Pezzy....” I explained with a smile and wink to the camera. “If y’all hear the lyrics there's no need for one.” 

BigPuffer: stop cappin ___ its Friends Don’t -bigpuffer gf’s

“Girl shhh, but you know it's true now that I am thinking of it.” I started with my hand rubbing Sly from head to the tip of her tail. “I like that question, Who spoils who more? Does Pezzy spoil me more?” I read to Pezzy

“Well this can go two ways with us, I spoil her more with small or big gifts. She spoils me more, like cooking and more housing chores. This is gonna sound bad, but she will agree with me, she spoils me by being a homebody but still working a lot!” Pezzy explains to chat. “Chat, y’all dont understand this lady right here spoils the fuck out of me with food.” 

“I’ll agree to disagree, in both worlds we spoil each other on the same level.” I said with a shrug of shoulders nonchalantly. “Oo to stay on the topic of food or cooking. What's your favorite way to spend a weekend together?” I chuckled as Sly bounced with my small belly laugh.

"Cooking, definitely! I whip up some magic in the kitchen, and Pezzy always gets to be my charming taste tester." Pezzy nodded enthusiastically, "Best job in the world, honestly. Especially when it’s Bella’s famous spicy enchiladas."

As the chat grew, questions evolved from the cute and quirky to a bit more serious, like, “How about we knock a couple questions out at once, I keep seeing “how old are you?” “How long have we been dating? Also, a weird question of age gap?” Pezzy read out to me, with a weird offended face, “Age gap? That's a weird one guys.” I stated, fluffing up Sly’s fur. 

“I’m 26, Pezzy is 27, a year and a half gap, and how long have we been together?” Looking at Pezzy, thinking back on dates, racking my brain for a number. “We have been friends for 2 to 3 years, so we have been dating for 2ish years?” I asked thinking about to numbers out loud

“Yeah, that seems right babe- Guys don't come for her not remembering, we know what date we met so we celebrate then but we don't put a number on it. Hell I don't remember but 2 years seems right.” Pezzy explained to chat so they dont hate on us. “We are happy like this, so no need to be assholes.” 

“I seen a couple normal ones, who’s my favorite music artist? I really like Kali Uchis, and Tyler the Creator. I saw him in concert and Jesus, I would love to go again and meet him.” I gushed with passion for their music. 

The evening flowed, and laughter echoed as they answered questions about their favorite memories, their worst cooking disasters, and how they navigated life's challenges together. Each story offered a glimpse into their lives, painting a picture of love that was both exhilarating and earnest, layered with the complexity of their differences, yet united in a common goal: to support one another. 

“How many languages does ___ speak?” Pezzy read to me, while giving me puppy eyes so he can show me off for a bit to chat.

“Dos, two. I speak English and Spanish. Spanish was my first language so you’ll hear it come out more than often,” I explained “But recently, I’m learning a third one. I’m still learning how to speak Droid. I swear to god guys I still don't know what that motherfucker is saying or meaning after 4 plus years.” I joked around, letting Sly jump out of my arms into Pezzy’s.

“Ooh babe what about this one, “We will meet ___ at Twitchcon?” Pezzy asked me while still looking at his screen, as chat exploded at that one. “Maybe, I don't like crowds that much. I usually hangout with the other girlfriends, most like BigPuffers; or I am at the hotel chilling– But you know what chat? I'll make this deal, right now, if Pezzy gets more than 50 subs by the end of stream, I’ll join the meet up on the last day. Does that sound like a good deal, chat?” I integrated chat. 

By the end of the session, they were exploring the question that would leave an indelible mark on their followers' hearts: “What’s the best advice you’d give to couples?” I leaned closer to Sly and said, “Never stop being yourselves, and make sure to communicate openly. And… keep a cat around. It helps!” 

Pezzy nodded, adding, “And don’t forget to laugh—sometimes it’s the little moments that mean the most.” The essence of their love radiated through their words, a resonance that lingered long after the stream had ended.

As they wrapped up the Twitch session and began to unwind, I looked over at Pezzy, my heart swelled with warmth. “You know, I never expected to find my other half through a video session,” I said, stroking Sly's fur as if to affirm the bond they all shared. Pezzy smiled back, our eyes glimmering with that same spark from that fateful night. "Neither did I, but I’m glad I did." 

“Babe, you do know that you’re gonna join us at Twitchcon? I've gotten 75 subs since.” Pezzy said with a smirk. “Fuck.”

[kiwi-channn]

just a drawing

(part 3)

Older Simon Riley × fem reader (artist)

∆ artist reader sees ghost while he is patrolling her city and she wanna draw ghost but he refuses ∆

Part 1 - part 2 - part4

............🌻🌻🌻...........

It was a beautiful calm night in that restaurant... Simon was wearing a nice black classic shirt... He feels so stupid, thinking he dressed too nicely ... He really wanna leave now .. it is just that she has a way with words ... Since he met her or she got stuck with him... She always makes him go wherever she wants... He thinks that she is really convincing...but He still doesn't know why he is complying with her?!...

and since that day at the beach, he has been thinking about her a lot.. it is intriguing... he needs to stop it before he gets too stuck..

He looks at his watch and sighs ...

...: hey..

He looks beside him and sees her finally coming to sit across from him on this elegant table...

"how you're doing?"... y/n Says with a soft smile... And you are wearing a pretty cute dress, as classic as him... The dress shows your soft feminine frame...

Simon just looks at her from her head to her toes before she sits down... And luckily y/n didn't notice he just checked her out...

He clears his throat and puts on a stoic face...

"Iam good... And you?.."

"I am okay... You won't believe what happened when I was waiting for my upper!... Listen listen..." And she just starts talking about whatever... She likes how he listens to her...

At first when she talked to him, she thought he didn't listen nor focus on her at all... So she stops talking suddenly in the middle of her little story ... And she discovered that he really has been listening.. he is just too calm because he asked her about a detail... Since then... She felt so comfortable with him... But she really still wanna convince him to let her draw him... she won't give up at all...

So they had dinner.. a nice meal...

At the end of their good "time" ... Y/n takes out her purse to get out her credit card to pay for her meal...

Simon just just looks at her in a certain way ... And she looks back at him and chuckles...

Y/n: "what?... Did I do something?..."

"No... Just... I didn't expect you to pay for yourself..."

"Ohh ...  No no... We are friends so we split the bill... That's the rule"

"Hmm... Yeah... Well... That's convenient for me..."

Then they get out and walk out a bit ... It was a chilly night ....

"So I went on and turned off the computer... You know.. because.. like she could have asked me before using it... She is just dump...having a sister is tiring.."

"I never expected you had a sister..."

"Yeah... Why?..."

"Just thought you are an only child..."

"No I'm not...."

Then they both just walk in silence....

"What do you call a fish with no eyes?"

She feels a bit weird...she didn't expect that out-of-nowhere question ... Is he telling a joke?!...

"Um... Don't know... What do you call them?.."

He glances at her with a smug look on his face... And that's a first for her...

"FSH...f. s. h."

She couldn't believe that he just said the lamest joke ever... She just stares at him for a moment and laughs ... Not because it's funny.. but because it was unexpected...

"Nooo..." says as she puts her hand over her face.

"Yes..." says with a smug expression on his face.. as he side eyes her

She takes a deep breath to not giggle more... "Okay... let me think of one too.."

"Go on.."

she thinks a bit... Then gets one ... her eyes are sparkling a bit ...

"Oh oh... I got one .. so... What did one ocean say to the other ocean?..."

He shrugs..."what?.."

"Nothing.. it just waved..." Then she laughs at her own joke....

And he chuckles a little bit and raises an eyebrow as he looks at her..."really?... That was lame.."

She opens her mouth, surprised at his comment... "What?... And your joke was funny?..."

"Yeah.. it was funny... You laughed.."

"Barely ... And because I was surprised... My joke is better..."

"No .. mine better... Love"

She gives him a side eye annoyed look and shakes her head slightly... Chuckling at his confidence... And she lets it go for now...

She stays silent again for a bit and sighs in relief...

"But... Jokes aside ... Today was really nice .. thanks for accepting my request... I didn't expect you to accept... so thanks..."

He doesn't understand it himself...

"No problem..."

She smiles kindly... Looking ahead as she realizes that they almost reached her apartment...

"So... We are almost here.... I live in that building...." and she points at her balcony...

Then they stop in front of the building's entrance...

"So... Still no portrait?..."

"No..." He says firmly.. looking down at y/n..

She groans a bit loudly...

"Come on... Why not?..."

He doesn't answer that ... He just smiles a little calm smile... Which made her heart skips a beat .. she always feels that his smile is so pretty... Even if it was not that happy....it Makes her ... Like.. greedy?... She isn't sure... But... It feels so good... Slowly getting closer to him... she reallyWanna see more...

"Hey... You okay?..." He says gently... As he noticed how spacy she got....

She snaps out of it... Getting a bit nervous...

"Uhh... Yes.. yes... So okay.... And you sir?..."

He raises his an eyebrow at her... Looking down into her eyes.... Making her more nervous... Like he is looking into her soul ....

(Is that from his military experience or something??...)

"I am doing fine ..." says calmly as he just follows her flow...

She smiles softly as she feels a bit shy....

"Okay.. can I like.. text you? You know.... Maybe meet up again..."

He just looks a bit too calm suddenly... That she thought he will refuse...

"You can... It's okay..." he can`t believe he agreed.. he wanted this to be the last time..

She feels happy and her face lights up...

"Okay... Then be ready... Bye... the portrait offer is still on.."

He nods his head slightly and watches her walk inside the complex ... Making sure she is safe... then He leaves...

........

In the opposite building... Someone with Binoculars standing in a barely open window..... Watching y/n with that huge man... And he almost broke the Binoculars..

....: "so you were out?!... You shouldn't see anyone... Y/n... You can't do that ... I will show you...and I think your time came..."

Then he punches the wall with so much hate.... Feeling blood rushing into his veins....

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️ AnalyzGolden's Reactions To Disventure Camp Season 1: All Eliminations, Plot Twists, Etc. * Pre-Merge COMPILATION* ☀️

This Post is compilation of my reactions to Disventure Camp's Eliminations, Plot Twists, & Overall Big Moments.

For those of my followers who don't know, Disventure Camp is an independent animated YouTube show by OddNation Cartoons, that originated as a Total Drama fanfiction.

But due to legal stuff (Fresh TV HATES it when fan stuff of their shows get attention), they found a way around it by changing up the show to make it original, with completely original characters and settings. Because of this, they remade the first season after Season 2 was already done and published, and the remake (which is the version I watched) is the one that is canon to the show's story.

Btw, the original Season 1 that they made before this drama is now considered the 'beta' version, and it's not canon to the show's story. So you don't HAVE to watch the beta to understand anything, but it's there. (maybe one day I'll react to that too)

Obviously, BIG SPOILERS for this show.

So if you haven't watched it yet, I encourage you to watch it first and then check out these posts from me. The show is free on YouTube. They have it both in English and Spanish.

Check Out This Post For A Fast Travel To My Full Reactions To The Season

I AM planning on making more posts about this show, so look forward to those. (Including A Tier List post, compilations of the more funnier bits, etc)

With the exception of a couple of meme bits, THIS COMPILATION POST WON'T CONTAIN THE SCREENSHOTS. Tumblr has an image limit of 30 images per post.

So if you want the screenshots, see my episode reactions.

I also had to split this into two parts (again) because it got too big and Tumblr wouldn't allow it.

Merge Compilation >>

Without further ado, let's get right into the CHAOS that ensued with this!

Fakeout Elimination

"Right now, you're gonna vote one person off each team."

Wait, what? THE GAME JUST STARTED, WTF?!

This has to be a psyche. There's NO WAY.

"Gabby from the purple team and Fiore from the teal team."

This is a psyche.

You shouldn't have threatened anyone.

What did Fiore do?! Sorry for being a child!

*Team Swap*

Oh thank god, it was a psyche.

Fiore's True Personality Reveal

Oh, you little...

Don't underestimate children.

I didn't even realize he had the wrong flag. That's impressive.

"Alec gave it to me."

Oh... but she still kept it hidden. So she still deserves some credit.

"I'm a little scared of the dark."

Is your whole character being a coward?

"Why did you give me the credit for that flag thing?"

Oh wait, that was a lie?

"I prefer to go unnoticed."

That's actually smart. She's a child, and children are "stupid". So she doesn't pose a threat to anyone in Tribal Councils.

"These assholes are really buying into the story that I'm a helpless little girl."

FOUL. MOUTHED. CHILD. LET'S. F*****G. GO!

DEMON CHILD. WHAT DID I SAY?!?!

Immunity Idol Found

OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH.

Grett's gonna steal that from Gabby, isn't she?

But either way, Gabby's immune, LET'S GO!

Episode 2 Elimination

Oh we actually SEE who votes who!

YES!! THANK YOU! I WANTED THIS!!!

This is like Survivor much more, cause they flip these cards over to share the names, and you can see what the numbers were.

I always imagine what the eliminations in Total Drama would look like if they did that as well.

Okay Lilly's being smart.

WAIT CAUSE ASHLEY THREW HER VOTE WILL'S GONNA LEAVE, OH GOD...

YOU DIDN'T TALK TO YOUR ALLIANCE ABOUT THIS?!?! YOU COULD'VE VOTED OUT ALEC TOGETHER, AND YOU'D BE FINE.

'ALEC'

That's Ashley's vote

'FIORE'

That's not Lilly's handwriting. Is that Will or Nick?

'FIORE'

That's Lilly's.

'WILL'

Not Alec's writing... Fiore's?

'WILL'

Alec, Fiore... Ellie?

'WILL'

And that's it.

RIP

'WILL'

NICK IS THE TRAITOR. OMG

YOU ARE REALITY TV'S STUPIDIEST ALLIANCE

(Unless Will voted himself)

I mean I don't really care about his character, but that could've so easily been avoided.

Episode 3 Elimination

I can't show the images of the votes this time because of Tumblr image max.

We already know who's going, right? This is not a shocking elimination at all.

"The boys alliance will get me further in the game."

Dan really just said "I don't work with women."

NOW I have a reason to bully him.

"I may have messed with Drew's notes just a little."

What did you do exactly?

Also her handwriting's pretty.

This isn't a shocking elimination. We already know who's going.

'GABBY'

Yeah, yeah, we know.

'DREW'

It's gonna be 3 Gabby. 3 Drew.

'GABBY'

'DREW'

'GABBY'

'DREW'

And this is the part where Tom flips.

'DREW'

Yep. Bye bye.

He was fine. I just kept forgetting he was there.

Thought Dan was gonna be more mad about that. "ALRIGHT WHO'S THE FLIPPER?!?! SOMEONE HAS TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES!!"

"Drew was ejected"

Best Boy Claiming His Title

OMG are you kidding me?! XD

"We too are aware of Golden's presence! So we decided to entertain her with pinning the best boys against each other!"

"Sorry Golden, but here in Disventure Camp, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE BEST BOY."

OH GOD HE'S PISSED

NUT SHOT

I REPEAT. WE HAVE A NUT SHOT.

"Jake scores! The Teal Team win Immunity and reward!"

Welp, guess that's that. The show has decided.

Unless Nick stays, which is pretty likely, so.

FOR NOW, Jake has my crown as best boy. We stan a guy who has no shame in denying another guy the right to have kids.

"See that's my own personal true personality reveal Golden! I'm an asshole too, just like Grett! Don't you love me?!"

Yes. Yes I do.

Episode 4 Elimination

"Lill, it genuinely frightens me that you handle kids."

Just shut up.

"If I had a kid, I wouldn't let em anywhere near you."

"And I never will because SOMEONE busted my balls today!"

Ashley, once again, being the most reasonable one here.

'LILL'

Yeah, yeah, we know.

'FIORE'

'FIORE'

'NICK'

O_O

OH. GOD.

'NICK'

'NICK'

I-

I-

I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS MY FAULT.

I SHOULD NOT HAVE PUT HIM IN THE HEADING.

I CAUSED THIS.

"Because you're one of the worst in the challenges. Also, I can't stand you."

Wow. It really was that petty.

RIP Jake's Grandma

Go call your grandma Jake. Tell her how you love her and you're gonna help her with the money.

Maybe this one will be a bit wholesome.

"Hey Shawn!"

"Hey... Jake..."

...

What...?

"What's up? Is everything alright?"

"I'm sorry..."

*I covered my mouth to hold back a gasp*

"A couple of days ago... grandma passed away..."

OH MY GOD NOOOOOOO

*I'm actually upset for him*

Oh my god...

OH MY GOD HE'S CRYING. OH MY GOD.

"Mom told me not to tell you till you came back... but I had to..."

He's still going. Oh my god...

"You're lying..."

"She was conscious for a few hours before she got worse..."

JUST STOP. JUST STOP TALKING.

"She wrote a letter... I'll give it to you when you get back... I'm sorry man..."

JAKE, I'M SO SORRY. THAT'S AWFUL!!

I'm actually hurt as well!

AND THEN TOM COMFORTS HIM?!??! AWWWWW 😢

I thought he was here to help her! I didn't think she was gonna die before he can even get back! That's horrible!

YOU ALL BETTER GIVE HIM VIRTUAL HUGS.

FOR HIM AND FOR HIS GRANDMA.

Okay, okay, I'm calming down, I'm calming down...

GOD. DAMN. IT. ME.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT JAKE IN THE HEADING!

I KILLED HIS GRANDMA!!

I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!

Jake, if you hate me for this, I understand. I deserve it.

"Why won't you take the slay pass?!"

"Because slaying killed my grandma, okay?!"

(I'm sorry)

Episode 5 Elimination

"SURPRISE BITCHES!!"

QUEEN 👑

"Remember when you vote me out at the first day?!"

"AND HERE I AM. REVENGE IS MINE."

"Gabby has a red marker. She will write the name of one of you and when I read the name of that one unlucky contestant, that person is immediately out!"

"It was a slay pass granted from Golden to Gabby because whoever Gabby hates probably deserves it."

I know how these shows work.

I have the gut feeling...

Ellie's not gonna side with the good guys.

Yep. I was right from the start of this. They're voting Lilly.

"I'm voting for you so you can crawl back to whatever Disney movie your wrinkled which face came from."

Why does she look so evil?

"See, that's why you have bad taste Golden. All the favs you picked are evil and/or have serious issues!"

'LILL'

Yep. We know.

'FIORE'

I feel like it would be hilarious if Gabby wrote Fiore's name.

Ellie would be like, "See, that's what makes me the swing vote! Good or Evil? I choose NEITHER."

'LILL'

'FIORE'

It's Lilly.

'LILL'

RIP.

Ashley, it's up to you cowgirlie! You gotta take up the mantle and survive!

'ASHLEY'

...WELP, YOU SURVIVED FOR TWO SECONDS.

GODDAMMIT.

I had a feeling she was gonna do that.

ELLIE. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY

And why did Gabby use the slay pass on Ashley! I specifically told you to use it on Fiore!!

"I'll give it to you sweetie. Use it for whoever."

I feel like I should blame myself for this happening.

SLAY PASS MISFIRE

"Ellie, why did you do that?"

"I'm sorry Lill, we were getting down to the wire and Fiore could be helpful if we reached the merge."

How would she help you in the merge exactly?! She's a KID. She has limitations! She's not exactly a good alliance member to have.

And who's to say she's not just gonna ditch you after this?

I'm sorry Ellie, but I'm calling you out cause I do not see your logic there.

"Not to throw a hissy fit, but this is seriously unfair!"

I feel like Ashley is saying that to ME specifically.

"GOLDEN YOU LUNATIC REACTIONARY! WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ANYONE A SLAY PASS WILLY NILLY?! AND IT CAME AT THE EXPENSE OF ME!"

"There's three of us and only two of you. Even a six year old can do better math than you."

Fiore secretly takes Algebra. The highest level. And she's a straight A honor roll student.

"Y'all WILL regret this decision!"

Specifically Ellie. She's gonna regret this, I can already tell.

Honestly, Ashley was robbed. I get it, limited episodes, but really? That's how she's eliminated?

Awwwwwwww 💗

At least they're besties till the end.

Tom Role Reveal & Jake True Personality Reveal (AKA Me Flipping Out Over Gay Quarreling)

Oh shit here we go...

"Golden told be awhile back to tell you something very important!"

"Hey Grett. Maybe you should tell Jake something. Just a thought.

...

WAIT I SAID THAT AS A JOKE, HOLD ON-

"For some reason I have the urge to tell Jake something. Huh, wonder who this Golden Voice is.""

DAMMIT ME, I TOLD HER TO SLAY. I DIDN'T SPECIFY WHO TO SLAY.

SLAY PASS MISFIRE

"Tom was lying to you. It was Tom who voted for Drew."

Ooooooohhhh god...

I'm like preparing myself for the blowout.

"Because Drew found out his little secret."

"What secret?"

"The whole sun sensitivity story is fake. He lied to you because he's a spy."

*DREAD*

"What are you talking about? Is this a joke?"

*DREAD*

"He's here for work. You mean nothing to him other than a way to blend in more."

*DREAD*

"Come on Jake, Grett has clearly lost it."

IT HURTS BECAUSE SHE'S TELLING THE TRUTH

I'm CONFLICTED. Not my best girls HURTING my best boy!!

What do I do? Do I support her...? I don't know...

OH NO HE'S BACK.... UGH...

At least it's earlier in the season so they have a chance to bounce back... I don't... I don't know...

This is gonna be so ugly. Jake is gonna be HURT.

"I get hurt and traumatized by my ex! I lose my grandma! AND NOW THIS SHIT. I CAN'T CATCH A BREAK!"

"Tom! You're not gonna believe this!"

"Believe what?"

"Grett was saying the strangest things about you!"

"Wh-what did she say?"

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHH *mouth covered*

"She said you were the one who voted Drew because, get this, he found out you were a spy?!"

NO TOM YOU CAN'T ACT?!?!

I mean I don't think he should lie any further, but...

"I can explain!! It's not what you think!!!"

"Wait what? It's true?!"

"It's not that simple!"

Just hear him out! I can explain EVERYTHING! I know you're upset, but please hear me out!

"Oh my god... it really is! So you're just here for your job!"

"And our friendship, was that just to blend in too?! Did you ever care about me at all?! Was any of it real, HUH?!"

JAKE, HONEY, I'M SO SORRY.

I know you being upset is understandable! It still hurts!

I can imagine what's going through his head though. His loved ones have a habit of either dying or lying to him and hurting him, and now turns out his new crush is a spy?

"Jake, calm down-"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!"

OH GOD

"I don't owe you anything! It's my life! Step off, Jake!"

DON'T BE LIKE THAT, YOU'RE ALREADY OUTTED!

"Oh EXCUSE ME if I don't want to be part of your 'super cool' spy plan!"

"Can you stop telling the whole goddamn neighborhood?!"

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH GOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!

And they got shot...

Oh my god, I need a minute to CALM DOWN.

Was that... I mean I know that was a Tom liar reveal, but was that a Jake true personality reveal?!

Is he an asshole?!

Goddammit, he IS an asshole, isn't he? I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU.

I'm calming down, I'm calming down...

Tom and Jake are gonna drive me FUCKING. CRAZY.

Gabby Roasting/Defeating Grett

"It's my plan. I did all the hard work. I deserve it."

...I mean she DID do shit, but also...

"I know you weren't helpful today! We all know that without me, you couldn't have made it this far."

"All day I've been doing what you say, AND YOU NEVER EVER SAY THANK YOU!!!"

GET HER GIRL!!!

"YOU WERE SITTING ON YOUR FAT ASS THIS WHOLE TIME!!! I'M DONE WITH YOU GRETT!! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE PROJECTING YOUR ISSUES WITH YOUR BROTHER AND PARENTS DOESN'T MEAN I SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR YOU!!! WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS, BUT YOU CAN'T TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THIS!!"

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSS

QUEEN

QUEEN

QUEEN

QUEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNN!!!!!!

I mean, I love Grett too... BUT.

LET'S BE HONEST. GABBY DESERVES THIS.

🎉YEEEAAAHHH!!! GABBY FOR THE WIN!! LET'S GOOOO!!!!🎉

WE STAN GABBY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD

I SUPPORT HER

Episode 6 Fakeout Elimination

Alright... let's see what we've got this time. This should be interesting.

XD

DEAR GOD JAKE.

"THIS IS MY DIVORCE PAPER!"

Dammit, why'd he have to be an asshole, huh?

Of course Miriam writes in cursive.

"You can fool these Gen Z'ers..."

XD

Miriam's climbing up my tier list.

YES, SLANDER GEN Z

Alright, Teal's up first.

'DAN'

I mean, I prefer it be Dan just cause I like Grett, but also...

I don't think I'm gonna be mad.

'GRETT'

I like how Trevor says her name.

'JAKE'

XD

NO SHOT THEY BOTH THREW JUST CAUSE THEY WERE SO PISSED WITH EACH OTHER

XD

"AND NOW YOU VOTE FOR ME?! WHAT'D YOU SAY TO ME?!"

'TOM'

'GRETT'

And then the last vote is Grett.

'GRETT'

Damn.

A fav is gone.

RIP.

"Sorry. We won't tolerate you any longer."

YES GABBY

"You think I care?! Because I don't!"

I think she does care though.

*Gabby/Ellie Kiss*

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH

I DID NOT EXPECT THAT.

HOLY GOD, THEY ARE A THING.

'ELLIE'

'FIORE'

Ellie's gone, isn't she?

'ELLIE'

I KNEW IT.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT HER IN THE HEADING.

I thought she was gonna make it further, tbh.

"Good luck winning challenges with a six year old."

Wah wah waaaahhh...

AWWWWWWWWW NOT GRETT CRYING

I WAS READY FOR YOU TO GO, BUT NOW YOU'RE MAKING IT HARD

"I've already won a lot in my life..."

The shakiness of her voice. OUCH.

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH

THEY'RE NOT GOING, ARE THEY?!

*I got a safelife repair ad*

XD

"SAFELIFE REPAIR, SAVE YOUR BUTTS WITH THIS SECOND CHANCE!"

Team Swap

Oh we're starting right where we left off last time.

IT'S A TEAM SWAP.

...again...

Episode 7 Elimination

Oh come on Jake. Why Gabby?

Yeah, we know this one.

I thought Gabby and Ellie would convince Jake to vote with them and tie it or something. But no.

WAIT SO THAT MEANS ELLIE IS SCREWED.

"WAIT!!"

"I have an immunity totem and I want to use it."

OH MY GOD THE IDOL. OH MY GOD SHE'S SAVED.

"I want to use this totem to nullify the votes against Ellie!"

YEP. ELLIE'S NOT GOING.

Gabby, SLAY. Successfully reading the room, saving her only ally!

GREAT PLAY.

The subtitles XD

"Any votes on Ellie will not count!"

'ELLIE' *DOESN'T COUNT*

There's three, right?

So this was a successful idol play?

'ELLIE' *DOESN'T COUNT*

'ELLIE' *DOESN'T COUNT*

YEP. SUCCESSFUL IDOL PLAY.

'GABBY'

That's Jake throwing his vote.

'DAN'

OH MY GOD, PLEASE. IS HE GONE?!

PLEASE NOT GABBY.

It's gotta be Dan. He's gotta be gone!

'DAN'

YES! HE'S GONE!!!!

"Why would you waste your totem on Ellie?"

Dude, Ellie was Gabby's ONLY ally in the game. She didn't protect Ellie, then they'd both be screwed.

"I didn't waste it. I saved her cause she treats me like a person."

That too. 💗

WHAT A TRIBAL COUNCIL!!

[nodataavaliable]

My son thinks he is a "Skibidi Toilet"

I've taken him to several therapists but nothing works. My son thinks he is a "Skibidi Toilet". He honestly and truly convinced he is one of these singing toilet creatures, and will not stop insisting that everybody else believe him too. It is relentless and unnerving.

I've quit my job to become a stay-at-home mom ever since my husband divorced. He went to go work for a camera factory, and disappeared from family life. My son turned to YouTube incidently from that moment on, which was but a few months ago.

The obsession with "Skibidi Toilet" started with Roblox, where I was oblivious to the psychological harm it would cause us at the time, and often gave him money to buy things from the game. Looking back now, I notice every purchase on my credit card went towards some stupid accessory in only the games about the toilets.

He started watching the "Skibidi Toilet" YouTube series. Over and over again. He would sing the song along with the toilets, until he had it memorized, and started singing it all the time. He watched videos from lore and film theory channels, learning anything and everything about the "Skibidi Toilet" ever thought and recognized in the "Skibidi Toilet" universe. I've caught wind of several of these videos when they've been on in the house, but I don't understand if there's any coherent narrative to any of them.

It seems like an AI script is writing all of it. A very bad AI script at that. I find it harder and harder each day to believe an actual person, or set of people, is behind this complete and utter nonsense. What kind of goals does the Algorithm set to accomplish? Convincing kids they are toilets? That they can "identify" with whatever they want?

My kid used to be smart and bright but his mental capacity is waning because of this. I fear for his future development and potential growing into an adult. His schoolwork and reading comprehension scores have gotten lower and lower, and his social interaction skills have faltered as well. I used to expect a "hello" or "good morning" from him, but now all I get is a ""Skibidi dob dob yes yes yes, Skibidi dob dob dip dip" ... you know, "Skibidi" this and "Skibidi" that. I've had it with this stupid fucking song and everything.

The effect this phase has had on him is almost too much to bear to witness as his loving and deeply concerned mother. He started climbing into public toilets and cramming himself into the bowl. He has been sent home from school early several times because of this unexplainable behavior, which ends up involving several adults forcefully pulling him out and suffering a tantrum back from him.

Therapy has done nothing. I had over-optimistic hopes in his last therapist, who merely prescribed drugs to absolve the problem. The drugs had zero effect on him, so I quit that very medication instead of refilling it when the time came.

We went to Home Depot to pick up some gardening equipment together, and he saw the display toilets in the bathroom aisle. I had to pull him out of one of those toilets, but accidently caused it to fall over on its side, which shattered it. He was emotionally attached to it, screamed and desperately tried to put the useless shards back together. It caused a giant public scene and embarrassment and I had to pay for the broken toilet myself at checkout.

Now I leave him at home and keep him suspended from school. I don't believe he is ready to return anytime soon. I am on the verge of breaking down in tears. I keep the bathroom locked, but he often finds a way in regardless. There is nothing he likes doing more than crawling into the toilet and singing the "Skibidi Toilet" song. He believes now 100% that he is a "Skibidi Toilet", referring to our bathroom toilet as his "exo-skeletal shell". I woke up to him doing this at 3:00 AM this morning and was so exhausted that I did nothing and tried to go back to sleep. I feel like a failure as a mother. I just don't understand this.

Our lives a "going down the toilet", so to speak. I can't "handle" much more of this. I just "can't stand" to see my child's mind and soul hit such a low point in life, going so deep down in the "sewer".

hey guys look at this cool ask its been sitting in my inbox for months

[milkywaygg]

Confidential Affairs Chapter 2

Interpretations of Mama and Papa Cosma go to @amaryllidae

Oh god…what the hell did I do this time? Ugh…can’t this wait until morning?, Euphemia thought to herself as she rummaged around for her phone in her jacket pocket, placing her briefcase back on her desk for a brief moment. Flipping open her cyan Motorola, she went through her contacts and dialed her mother’s number, holding it up to her ear.

“Yes? What is it?”, an icy, feminine voice asked. Euphemia rolled her eyes.

“You know what it is. I just read your email.”, Euphemia said, “Can’t this wait until the morning? I’ve had a long day at work and would really like to get some sleep.”

“Huh…didn’t realize your sleep schedule was more important that your own mother…you know, one of the people that gave you life, Euphemia.”

“Oh my god..”

“Watch your tone!”, the woman snapped, before giving a rather annoyed sigh, “We don’t plan on taking too much of your time, since it’s clear that living your life is more important to you instead of keeping some goddamn dignity. I understand we emailed at a rather late time..”

“This isn’t about Jules, is it?”, Euphemia asked, immediately replaying all the complaints her mother and father had about him, even before the night he got wasted in front of them.

“Just let us know when you’ve arrive, Euphemia.”

Without so much as a see you soon, the woman hung up on Euphemia, leaving her to groan as she picked up her briefcase and wand, poofing herself over to She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named’s penthouse. It was rather small for a luxury house, as it only have 3 floors instead of 6 or 7 like some of her neighbors. However, it was embellished with gold accents on the outside and was the only one of have it’s own gate. Her family’s color, Cyan, dominated the flowers of the bushes and the wood on the house. Euphemia pressed the gold-embellished doorknob, hearing a loud ringing coming from inside the house.

All of the sudden, Euphemia felt a harsh wind hit her arms, hugging herself as she attempted to keep herself warm. It was almost as if she were a lost dog, waiting to be let back in after a cold, rainy day. This is so stupid…why did they summon me over here if all they were going to do is bitch about Jules? And…why was I so stupid to do what they asked.

Before she could swim in her thoughts however, the door opened, revealing a tall woman with a silvery, cyan, long hair, wearing an equally long black dress complimented by gold and silver jewels. Her ruby red lipstick scowled at her daughter as her sky blue eyes studied the maggot in front of her, almost as if Euphemia had transformed into a cockroach overnight. Oh..how Athena would love to do that to her right about now.

“Took you long enough.”, Athena spat, allowing Euphemia into the house, “Take a seat. We’ve got important matters to discuss…Severus! Get the papers off my desk in my office, would you? Euphemia’s here.”

Athena led Euphemia into their rather extravagant living room that was almost completely coated in a pearly white. Though the couch was a soft, velvet white, Euphemia couldn’t help but feel as if she were sitting on a prison bed, awaiting execution, staring dramatically at the glass coffee table in front of them. At last, her father, Severus, slammed several papers down on the table that seemed to be decorated with all sorts of number, dollar signs, and tiny letters that Euphemia was too tired to make out at the moment. As soon as her husband sat down, Athena chuckled as she picked up one of the papers, clearing her throat to get Euphemia’s attention.

“You know dear, you really ought to get your address changed. Ever since you’ve moved out, we’re still getting your mail!”, Athena laughed, almost sarcastically, “Anyhow, I was looking through your credit card history..”

“Wait, you looked through my mail?? You can’t do that-“, Euphemia began to retort, before her mother’s harsh voice snapped through.

“I am your mother, Euphemia! I am the head of this household, therefore, I can do as I please.”, she yelled, “Anyhow, I was looking through your expenses and I couldn’t help but notice that you charged nearly $900 on a platinum, emerald green, floral design, engagement ring from Moonlight Jewelers. This ring of yours…it wouldn’t happen to be for that little skank you’re living with, is it?”

“So what if it is? It’s not your right to tell me what I can and cannot do with my money. Who do you think you are.”

“Your mother…or ex-mother is who I think I am.”

“What? Ex-mother?”

“Yes.”, Athena responded calmly, “Your ex-father and I came to an agreement to cut you off, albeit a bit rushed. You know, all of this could have been avoided if you had that married that Fairywinkle man instead. Strong, comes from a successful family, rich, doesn’t act like a whore-“

“Ok first off, how dare you say all those things about Jules! He’s a wonderful, caring man. I like Matteo just fine and well but I hate to break it to you. He and I will never be more than just friends!”, Euphemia yelled, getting up from her seat, ‘You don’t know how much joy and happiness Jules brings me. Every day, I get the privilege of seeing his beautiful face in the morning, and I feel like the world stops spinning. He’s everything I wanted in a man, and I can’t stand her and let you two talk shit just because he's not rich.”

“It’s not even just because of that.”, Severus butted in, his nose wrinkling, “How can you put up with someone who acts the way he does. So ungentleman like…you’d think after how your mother and I had raised you, you’d take better control of your man.”

“W-What?? Ok..that was one party. He just had a bit too much to drink, that’s all.”

“That’s still no excuse! Euphemia, I don’t think you realize that we’re Von Strangles! Doesn’t that name mean anything to you?”

“It means that I’m the daughter of two assholes who won’t let me live my life.”

“Excuse me?!”, Athena yelled, slamming the paper back down on the table, “You will refrain from speaking to us like that. Otherwise, you can carry your sorry butt home!”

“Heh, is that really a bad thing?”, Euphemia smirked as she got off from the couch, “I didn’t even want to be here in the first place.”

“Alright you know what? Get out, and don’t you dare come back!”, Athena yelled, engulfed with rage as Euphemia went out the door with a somewhat high and mighty posture to her. Although Severus tried to calm her from behind however, Euphemia’s rather pompous, victorious stance pushed Athena over the edge. She grabbed out and wand and pointed it at her daughter; a bright yellow beam emitting from the star tip. She watched as Euphemia turned into a rather large, teal toad that hopped around confusedly over what had just happened.

“There. Since you think you’re SOOO much better than a Von Strangle, you can hop your pathetic self home! To think I could ever have a daughter like you…”

Jules tapped his fingers on the armchair nervously as he glanced at the clock. It was well after midnight and Euphemia still hadn’t made it home. What could she be doing this late? Was she out getting drinks? She has been a lot more stressed out ever since that party incident. Jules felt himself wanting to disappear after he remembered how he acted. That high sugar, strawberry shortcake martini had such a strong affect on him. He remembered how his voice sounded like he was being fast forwarded, and how on some instance, he thought he was a dog, licking and barking as if he were one. He also remembered all the judgmental stares he got from the other party guests before he eventually puked all over his tux and passed out.

He was sure Euphemia would leave him after all that and yet he found himself head over heels in love when she presented him with his emerald, flower engagement ring. If Euphemia had forgiven him after everything that happened, then why was he seeing less and less of her.

Suddenly, there was a loud pound at the door, jolting Jules towards the door. He opened it and stared across the street with a blank look on his face, before he heard a loud RIBBIT coming from the doorstep; it’s owner being the cyan toad.

“Euphemia? What happened?”, he asked, before giving a small, loving smile, “Ooh wait, I’ve seen this before.”

He knelt down and picked the toad up, holding it lovingly in his arms before giving it a small kiss on the cheek, taking a sudden step back as the toad turned back into Euphemia; her hair frazzles and her body shaking violently.

“Are you alright? Come on honey, why don’t we sit down?”, Jules said calmly, leading Euphemia towards the couch, sitting her down, “What happened? Accident at work, dear?”

“No…just…”, she mumbled, her heart aching as Jules’ green eyes flooded with concern. She absolutely hated it when he worried. Despite all the arguments she had with her mother, the one belief she did share was that the woman was meant to provide for the household. If she comes home to a stressed out partner, then what kind of woman was she? He shouldn’t have to worry about a thing, “Uhh…yeah, work accident. I wouldn’t worry too much. Everything’s fine now.”

“Are you sure? You really don’t seem ok to me.”, Jules’ frown deepened as he got closer to Euphemia, lying his head on her broad shoulders, “Pleaseeee tell me what’s wrong? I wanna help.”

“Don’t worry about it darling. Just…I guess I’m just a little stressed out from work, that’s all.”, Euphemia mumbled, “And mom and dad are on my ass again.”

“Oh golly, I’m sorry darling…I-I have a surprise for you though, if it’ll make you feel better.”

“Oh yeah?”

Jules didn’t say anything but smiled widely as he straightened himself up, allowing his slight belly bump to show up. Once Euphemia had processed what he was trying to tell her, she immediately got up and grabbed him, dipping him, and pulling him into a passionate kiss, Jules allowing it happily. They continued to kiss as Jules tried to pick himself up and sit back down, feeling his heart pound as Euphemia looked at him happily.

“How far along are you?”

“I still need to see the doctor. I made an appointment for tomorrow while you’re working..Oh golly..can you believe it. A baby!”

“I hope they look just like you.”, Euphemia smiled, kissing his lips softly again.

“And I hope they’re as smart as you.”

Before long, Euphemia had forgotten everything her mother had told her a few hours earlier and gotten ready for bed, alongside the father of her soon to be baby. Despite this nasty, awful nagging feeling that she was getting for a reason she wasn’t sure yet, Euphemia got in the covers and dozed off, eager to start this new chapter in her life. It was only in the morning where she realized that maybe…just maybe…the timing could have been a bit better.

[gothamcityhistory]

Detective Comics #28

Cover:

Great cover art!! I love it a lot. I love how the layout is almost meme-like. Also there's no Bat-man this time but that okay since it was still starting out.

Issue Credits:

Cover by: Fred Guardineer

Story by: Bill Finger

Art by: Bob Kane

Review:

Yeah I recommend this Bat-Man story!! it's fun and silly and only six pages!! It's about The Bat-Man stopping thieves by employing a weird technique.

Story Summary:

There are jewel thieves running amok so The Bat-Man, being the world's greatest detective, interrogates a police informer about who's behind them and whats their next move. The Bat-Man then uses this information to sneak up on them, beat them up and frame himself as part of the thieves. The newspapers pick this story up and frame The Bat-Man as part of the thieves. This causes the leader of the thieves to feel more bold as now the police will be looking for The Bat-Man and not them. The following night the thieves are at work and The Bat-Man captures them and leaves, taunting the police while doing so. The Bat-Man then makes his way into the thieves' leaders office and forces him into giving a written confession. The Bat-Man delivers him to the police and leaves a cheeky letter behind.

Live Read:

I love this new "The Bat-Man" Title card although I still hate that Bill Finger doesn't get any credit still for his work. (I will try to stop mentioning this every time to stop sounding like a broken record)

Love how they're like "The Bat-Man's identity is unknown (BTW he's Bruce Wayne)

This is super cute! I love it! It's very interesting to me though that it's spelled "Wuxtry" and not "Extry". It's probably times changing. I dont know

(BTW Just in case you forgot from 2 panels ago, THIS GUY RIGHT HERE *points at Bruce Wayne* IS THE BAT-MAN. K thx)

Also when I first read this I didn't know what "stay-well" meant but then I realised he's saying it sarcastically as a threat. I may be stupid but at least I learned something

(It had a dash- How was I supposed to know it wasn't a new word with a new meaning)

Idk why having a criminal record gives you access the the haunts of the underworld. Imagine you got in for jaywalking and then you get a contact like "Hey, you're like one of us and are invited to come to the criminal underworld meetings"

BTW, Stool Pigeon means a police informer

:0

Straight up just killed him. 1930s Bat-Man didn't hold back XD

I like to imagine that the [GOTHAM] city police just suck and he was there hunched and waiting for a solid like 15 minutes.

I also just realised that he's not wearing any gloves. He's going to get caught. Is he stupid

(Yes I had to make that r/BatmanArkham reference and I know fingerprint scanners weren't widespread in America yet)

He didn't have to stunt on them like that.

Now he's just showing off.

SEE!! EVEN THEY ARE LIKE "woah wtf?"

Not leaving the twist for the end now are we?

Do you think the newspaper also describes in detail the spectacular leap?

(Just in case you didn't get it btw)

Show don't tell people- but also I like this panel :3

😏😏😏

He's such a gentleman ❤️❤️❤️

Is that? The Bat-Man? In Bruce Wayne's red Sedan?

I like to think he put on the thickest New York goon voice and then when went "OOGAH BOOGAH" as he opened the door

laughed at this mental imagery in my head for a bit-

OMG HE OOGAH BOOGAH'D HIM BACK

He didn't stand a chance. I like to imagine it was instant like he only got 1 second into the jump before he was punched down

You mean Bruce Wayne's Car-

I like how they have to specify it had been a few minutes before The Commissioner read the letter-

Also, I love my silly 🥺🥺🥺 He stamped his logo on the letter and everything

After Thoughts:

I loved this Story!! it's dumb and I recommend it. I love the everything of it. The writing is fun and the art is great! I am quite interested by the narration in it though. I don't see it as often or as this high of frequency. I wonder when they drop it 🤔

Art:

The Art is great and I'll pick out a few of my favourites

Thank you all for reading!!

Come back whenever! I will post at rarely the same Bat-Time but always the same Bat-Blog!

[lightlycareless]

CHAPTER 31 WAS SO,,, DELICIOUS,,

they're on a date! the worst date in the world, but its a date! good(?) for them?

naoya in the parking garage trying to flirt and failing so so miserably is so... truly incredible. in any other scenario it really would've been sweet and fairly good flirting but with the full context its so. he's really oblivious here.

THE CROSSWALK?? HELLO?? HE'S JUST NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING?? like firstly y/n go OFF thats RIGHT fucking GET HIS ASS "don't fucking touch me" is completely appropriate-- but then also he just. he doesn't say anything. i was fully expecting it to come up again but he just doesn't??? can he just not process that without his entire psyche crumbling down around him or is he gonna bring that one up again later

the poor waitress. she deserved a 500% tip for dealing with them. poor lady. once again i understand why naoya is worried-- yeah, she hasn't eaten like all day! she probably looks pale and shaky as hell (this is because of you, naoya, but he wouldn't know that). totally understandable to try to insist she eats something- but there's just no way that him trying to force her to do anything is going to help at all.

also.. the zenin's would cancel his credit card/access to the bank account if he did something wrong? fucked up and pretty indicative he's on thin ice here too even though he's (undeniably) doing better than y/n. i'd imagine that's not helping put him in a good headspace for self-reflection if he knows straying too far from what his family approves of could mean losing a lot of personal freedoms (including the ability to even leave the estate, recalling what he said about replacing the car in chapter 29...)

THE LITTLE GIRL W THE BUTTERFLIES WAS SO CUTE,,, and then naoya has to swing in like "i think you're pretty too 🥺" and give her a whole traumatic flashback like. man. just be quiet. you could salvage so many of these situations by just being quiet.

and they FINALLY,, had a CONVERSATION,,, even if it was something mundane like the records!! they talked to each other without snapping or insulting or being sexist!!! we're winning so hard rn-- and is she about to drop backstory for him too?? and about the parents?? now thats a BIG step i'm so excited for them (<- is about to get emotionally devastated by the next chapter)

another beautiful chapter of my favorite horribly misfunctional couple <3 thank you for the wonderful writing and i hope you have fun on your break!!

HELLO!!! I’m so happy you enjoyed the meal 😈

I love hyping the fact that they’re on a date, and yet, it couldn’t be any further from the truth 😂 It’s like a car crash you just can’t stop looking at ahahahah

I think it’s pretty obvious by this point that Naoya does not know how to socialize without looking completely creepy/frightening. And I can’t blame him, he’s either venerated as a god, or completely dismissed and berated 💀 STILL FIXABLE AMIRITE?

The crosswalk scene… I can literally hear Y/N’s voice and the way it broke… I feel bad for her damn why am I making all characters suffer?? Who is the one character that is happy??? No one. That’s who lol not even Haruko who is like the most cheerful of them all is happy all the time. 😭

And he did bring it up in a way 🤭, with the stupid question of “Do you speak to Naoaki like that?” omg please Naoya… take that man out from your mind hahaha it seems like you’re in love with him I s2g 😭😂 but as I said, Naoya doesn’t it have in himself to do anything like that anymore, as much as he wants to yell and whatnot, he knows very well that if he does that thing he’ll just push her away—definitely. And in a way, I want him to do that, leave Y/N alone!! (yes, even if she has to eat, leave her!! She’s not going to eat with you PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

Also, for the credit card… I just thought it would make sense hahaha for a family as rich as theirs, I just felt like that’s the next thing they would do 🤔 I don’t recall stating Naoya to be some kind of big spender (He might be... let's be real), but I do think that the Zen’in have spent a lot of money on their wedding and all the formalities that followed suit, so for them to consistently bring problems… well, I’m sure Naobito has thought many times to just leave his son without anything to really teach him a lesson—but stopped because he doesn’t want to deal with his whiny son any more than necessary lol, but Naoya doesn’t know that 👀 so he’s out there living in the suspense of having to be careful with his actions, less he wants to lose more. Gee… HOW DOES THAT FEEL NAOYA? HMMM???

I LOVED THE LITTLE GIRL, I was so happy that happened lol I think Y/N answered to her because she reminded her of Mai and Maki 🤭 which Naoya had to obviously ruin by his unrequited comment lmao. Even if he meant it like something genuine, why… couldn’t he see how painful that memory was for her? Omg is she even his wife???????? You’re right, he could do so much better if he just kept quiet 😭

Their conversation is something else that I was looking forward too :> and while it’s from something a bit… well, different from the elephant of the room, I share your sentiment by saying it was refreshing to see them interact with one another like actual human beings… I want them to be together, HAPPY I MEAN. Oh well… if that won’t happen, we have Naoaki lol

As for the backstory, yes, she’ll also share it with him :> Although I intended it to be a combination of a “reader exclusive” + “what’s she’s willing to share with Naoya” kind of perspective, if that makes sense, I’ll try my best to define it so while writing the next chapter 🤭. And even if this isn’t as emotionally impactful, I think the ending will have you a bit like “oof, that’s rough buddy” HHAHHAHAH

Thank you so much for your support and kind words 🥺❤ I’m so happy you’re liking the shenanigans between the couple of the moment lol (dysfunctional is like an understatement for them tbh they're beyond that 😂😂😂😂😂) and it kind of pains me to have to leave, but gotta do what I gotta do… haha

I’ll do my best to have fun :>!! Which I doubt I won’t have, I’m super excited!!!

Once again, thank you so much for your continuous support 😭❤❤❤❤ Can’t wait for you to read the next chapters!! (Specifically that one…. Jkahgakskjgv) Have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!!

[winderlylandchime]

15 QUESTIONS, 15 (or whatever) TAGS

tagged by @lostcol ily bb

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYBODY?

Nope. Family lore is that my mom and dad went through a baby name book and my mom circled all the names she liked in red and my dad circled all the names he liked in blue and mine was the only one with two circles. My first middle name is the name my mom wanted to give her sister when my aunt was born. And my second middle name is my mom’s maiden name.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

When my spouse and I were on vacation abroad and our flight home had been cancelled and we got scammed trying to get another flight and had to cancel our credit card and still find a way home. I very rarely cry (except when watching stupid things on tv) but I sobbed I was so stressed out. And on my period. Which y’know made traveling home super fun.

3. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Childless by choice (I love being an auntie to my nieces and friends’ kids though!) (I hate that I worry people will assume I hate kids because I’m a woman who didn’t want them!)

4. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

No, never. 😉

5. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

I played basketball for one memorable season in elementary school. I ran cross country for one memorable season in high school because it exempted me from gym class (joke was entirely on me when I realized being on the track team meant actually exercising more than going to gym class. And I used to be a (very very slow) runner (a whole slew of half marathons, 5 and 10ks, and exactly 1 marathon). My body doesn’t work like that anyone. But I miss it.

6. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT SOMEONE?

Their smile. What they’re wearing.

7. EYE COLOUR?

Blue like my mama.

8. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

I don’t do scary. I definitely prefer happy endings…but a good story is a good story.

9. ANY SPECIAL TALENTS?

I have a freakishly good memory for personal details. Like I will pretend to have never heard something about someone before to avoid freaking them out. It does come in handy at work though!

10. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

New York, New York baby!

11. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Reading, writing, watching drag (on tv or live), going to concerts

12. DO YOU HAVE PETS?

2 dogs, 2 cats

13. HOW TALL ARE YOU?

5’9” yes I can grab that for you

14. FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

In HS: AP US History and Latin (because my teachers for each were incredible - shout out to Ms Favretti and Dr Polsky!)

In college: Fairy Tales, Abnormal Psych, Mythic Imagination, and that seminar where I got to read Timothy Leary’s research

In grad school: Psychopathology I & II and Social Bases for Behavior

15. DREAM JOB?

I do not dream of labor. But if I must work for a living, I literally have it. When I went to grad school my hope was to be part of a group private practice and voila! I am clinical director of an awesome practice with incredibly talented folks. And my hours permit me to also do some consulting work with CMSC which is also a dream.

no pressure tagging: @flowerswehadgrowntogether @bartbarthelme @sheisraging @headbandsandflats @provenance

[samyelbanette]

Hi, I’m Kelley. I’ve been a debt collector for about three and a half years now.

Disclaimer that my experience is limited to credit card debt, and my advice may or may not be relevant to debts of other kinds (medical, etc). My knowledge is also limited to United States based debt collection practices.

But if you’re American and you owe a credit card company money….let’s talk:

- First off. When we talk to you, we have to verify your identity before we can give you any details. We normally ask for the last 4 of your SSN, your date of birth, and your address. Why? Because according to the FDCPA (Fair Debt Collection Practices Act), we cannot reveal the fact that you are in debt to anyone but you (or your spouse, if you have one).

If your mom or dad or boyfriend or girlfriend calls us, we cannot give them any information. If you want us to disclose information about your debt to them, you need to call (or email) us and tell us that.

-We are required to state, verbatim, on every call: “this is an attempt to collect a debt, and any information obtained will be used for that purpose”. Yes, TECHNICALLY, if we don’t say that, you can sue us for up to $1,000. But good luck finding a collector who is that stupid lmao?! In most cases, we’re looking right at a script while we’re on the phone with you…. 🤦‍♀️

-We used to be able to call you 3 times a day. Per new legislation, we can only call one time every 7 days….unless you give us permission to call more often. We will ask for that permission. Do not grant it.

-If you’re being harassed by calls, try saying “I would like to be placed on your do not call list” or “I am asking you to cease and desist.” Note: this will block future calls, but it won’t stop the credit card company from suing you.

-We will ask you where you work. It is in your best interest to (politely) avoid answering this question.

-If someone stole your identity and opened a credit card in your name, file a police report. In many cases, we can’t file a fraud claim without one.

-If you don’t recognize the debt we’re talking about (i.e. “I might have opened that card but it was so long ago I don’t remember”, “I had that card but the balance you said doesn’t sound right”, etc), ask for validation of debt. Basically we would then have to send you all the credit card statements we have on file and prove that the balance is correct. Any reputable collection agency will have these statements available, so this isn’t a get-out-of-jail-free card. But, we can’t make any more attempts to collect on the debt, until we confirm that you got those documents in the mail. So this is a good way to stall/buy time.

-If you’re ready to start making payment arrangements, don’t take the first offer we give you!! For example: someone owes us $1,000. I’m gonna offer them a plan of $83.33 per month for 12 months. Only after they say no, will I tell them that they also have the option to do $41.66 per month for 24 months. Why? Because I’m making commission on this shit lmao

-Ask if you qualify for a settlement. A settlement is, like, a deal, where we offer to let you pay less than you actually owe There’s normally a percentage we can’t go under. At my current job, that’s 60%. So, for example, if you owe us $100, I could offer you a settlement deal of $60, and you wouldn’t have to pay the remaining $40!

Settlements usually have to be paid as a lump sum, but sometimes you can get away with a monthly payment plan. Ask your collector.

-If you receive notification that you have been sued, call us before your hearing date and set up a payment plan voluntarily. If you let this go to court, 99.9% of the time, the judge will side with us, not you.

-Once we have judgment against you in a court of law, we can try and collect the funds involuntarily. In most cases, that means a wage garnishment. (This is why we ask where you work). We go directly to your employer and take 20-25% of your paycheck, depending on what state you live in.

Please note that yelling at your collector will not make the garnishment stop. 😭 We normally don’t file a garnishment unless you’ve been dodging our calls for years.

-Lastly, remember that collectors are people! We’re trying to make a living, just like you.

Debt collection is one of the best jobs an “unskilled” college dropout can get tbh! It pays way better than retail or food service. I get to sit at a desk, instead of standing in front of a cash register all day. And I get dental! Lol.

If you don’t verbally abuse your collector, they will normally try their best to come up with a payment plan that fits your budget. If all else fails, idk, lawyer up. 🤷‍♀️

[mint-moon25]

10 STEMS - DELIVERED

FREE - AMAZON PRIME

THE - UPS - STORE - ITS

CLOSEST - 2 - HAWAIIAN

LEI - WATER - TUBE - EA

STEM - LIKE - HANNAH

MONTANA - JUST - USE

STRING - 4 - FOREHEAD

TURKEY - FOOD STRING

5 INCH - LONG - NEEDLE

BOTH - AT - AMAZON SO

CREATE - YOUR - LEI AND

4 - THE - FOREHEAD - ITS

THAT - HEAD - GEAR - SO

EXPENSIVE - WHY - TRUE

WE GO 2 - THE MALDIVES

INDIAN - OCEAN - THAN 2

ABSURDLY - PRICEY NOT

GREAT - FOOD - HAWAII

LUAU - THEIR - FOOD IS

TERRIBLE - CHINESE AND

JAPANESE - FOOD - BEST

4 - HAWAII - BEEN THERE

CHEAP - LUAU - THEY YES

HUKILAO - FORGIVE - THE

SPELLING - U - MURDER

COLORFUL - SMALL FISHES

U - DON'T - HELP - 2 - KILL

THEM - NONE - OF THEM

IN - ADDITION - 2 - LOTS

OF - FOOD - BUFFET YES

INCLUDED - WITH TICKET

HUGE - CAKE - TURNED 2

SMALL - PIECES - REALLY

CHINESE - FOOD - THEIR

ROASTED - INSIDE - THE

SOIL - DOESN'T - TASTE

GREAT - TEXAS - BBQ IS

WORLD - SOUGHT AFTER

THEIR - POI - TASTELESS

YET - HAWAIIANS - DIE 4

THEIR - FOOD - BULIMIC

PROBLEM - OF - HAWAII

IS - BULIMIA - THEY - DO

NOT - EVEN - USE SALT

4 - THEIR - FISH - FORMER

QUEEN - OF - FORMER YES

ROYAL - HAWAIIAN ISLANDS

ATE - OVER - 600 FISHES

PER - HOUR - THE GREATEST

TAHITIAN - TEACHER - LOOK

AT - HER - BODY - SHE - ALSO

IS - BULIMIC - ABOUT - YES

TERRIBLE - HAWAIIAN HAI

FOOD - SHIRTS - OVER - $3

BEST - 2 - GO - 2 - WORLD's

LARGEST - DEPT - STORE

NOW - 2ND - LARGEST

CITY - BUSAN - KOREA

ABOUT - MURDERS - KR

KOREANS - VERY RACIST

KOREAN - MALES MURDER

KOREAN - FEMALES ONLY

KOREANS - MURDER - KR

KOREANS - THANK - GOD

BUSAN - KOREA - BEST YES

VACATION - 4 - HAWAII - IS

JUST - YOUTUBE - VIDEOS

SKIN - CANCER - BUT - ITS

EXTREMELY - THOUSANDS

OF - DOLLARS - IS HAWAII

FAT - PEOPLE - SURFERS

WHO - LOOK - BLK NOW

ALL - BURNT - SKIN AND

POLYNESIAN - CULTURAL

CENTER - BY - MORMONS

NO - COKE - PEPSI - FOR

MORMONS - BELIEVE

SATAN - CREATED DARK

SODA - MORMONS - ARE

STRANGE - DEAD SPIRITS

MORMON - MALE - YES

MISSIONARIES - FR OTHER

STATES - TV - PROHIBITED

THESE - STUPID - VIRGINS

READ - YOUR - MINDS YES

HAWAII - DUMB - FREE

HAWAIIAN - HULA LESSONS

TAHITIAN - FR - TAHITI - AND

ONCE - IT - ARRIVED - ALL

WANTED - TAHITIAN ONLY

TAHITI - SOUTH - PACIFIC

ISLANDS - MUCH BETTER

HAWAII - IS A - MISTAKE

WAS - NO - PIZZA - NO

JAPANESE - NO CHINESE

GREAT - FOOD - $$$$$$$

SO - BUY - INDIA - SARONG

100% - COTTON - HOW ITS

SO - NICE - 2 - MAKE - YES

PERFECT - 4 - MIAMI - AND

GREAT - BUDGET - WE CAN

CHANGE - OUR - LOOKS

MAKE - YOURSELF - YOUR

HAWAIIAN - HEAD - GEAR

GOD - EXPENSIVE

MAKE - HAWAIIAN - LEI

PORTABLE - SOLAR PANEL

CHARGE - YOUR - PHONES

TABLET - AT MIAMI BEACH

BLEACHED - WATERS - AND

SO - CLEAN - BUS - 39 MIN

EXIT - LINCOLN - AND - ...

R - ON - LINCOLN AVE

R SIDE - ROSS - DRESS 4

LESS - BANK OF AMERICA

ATM - L SIDE - RITZ CARLTON

SOUTH - BEACH - L SIDE YOU

GO - STRAIGHT - 2 - BEACH

POPULAR - SHOWER 4 FEET

BEFORE - ENTRY - SO - YOU

LEAVE - WITHOUT - SAND 2

WHAT - A - LIFE - LEAVING

EARLY - MAIN LIBRARY AS

I - LEAVE - THINGS - HERE

4 - RECHARGING - HAVE

FULL - INSURANCE YOU

ARE - ROBBED - $5,000

TAX - PAID - ADD - PER

ITEM - SAME - MONEY

AND - COINS - INCLUDED

REGISTER - BY - SCAN B 4

LEAVING - YOUR - THINGS

CASH - CURRENCY

$25 - MONTHLY

THUS - THOUGH - THEY

STEAL - LOTS - OF - MONEY

2 FREE - HOTELS - 7 DAYS 2

NOVOTEL - HOMEWOOD

SUITES - BRICKELL - YES

BY - HILTON - WITH OVEN

THUS - U - DON'T - FEAR

ROBBERY - ANY - MORE

FUTURE - KIOSKS WHEN

YOUR - ROBBED - OF IDs

DEBIT - CREDIT - CARDS

U - GET - ALL - BACK FOR

YOU - REGISTERED - ALL

NEW - PHOTOS - FACING

DIFFERENT - WAYS AS IT

IS - ALL - FREE - ALEXA

2 - SHOULD - U - HAVE

NEW - NOS - OR - NOT

DIRECT - DEPOSITS &

WHO - HAS - YOUR CARDS

REGISTERED - BY - SCAN 2

THEY - ALL - GET - NEW

NOS - WE - WON'T - B YES

VIOLATED - EVER - AGAIN

FREE - KIOSKS - 24/7 - SO

MORE - AND - MORE - WE

DON'T - NEED - VIOLENT

MIAMI - POLICE

MIAMI - SHERIFFS

ARMED - HAITI - BLKS AND

ARMED - HISPANICS

OUR - VIRGIN - GOD - IS

HEBREW - WHITE

JESUS - IS - WHITE

BOTH - ARE - VIRGINS

JESUS - IS - LORD - AS - I

AM - CHECKING AMAZON

SO - E NJOY - ABOVE YES

[iloveabunchofgames]

Week In Review - 3/12/23

#JakeReviewsItch Week In Review Archives

This week's reviews:

🧡🧡🧡🧡🤍 Alien Life Lab 🧡🧡🤍🤍🤍 All Haze Eve 🧡🧡🧡🧡🤍 All You Can Eat 🧡🧡🤍🤍🤍 Alone With You 🧡🧡🧡🧡🤍 Alt-Frequencies 🧡🧡🤍🤍🤍 Ambidangerous 🧡🧡🧡🤍🤍 Amelie

It's a week of messes! Steam is a mess! I am a mess! Even the Game of the Week is a mess!

Game of the Week

All You Can Eat is easily the best game I reviewed this week. Alt-Frequencies is the clear runner-up. Game of the Week, however, is a title that goes to the game that's still occupying my brain after the fact...

At the end of my Alien Life Lab review, I said it had a New Game+/Second Quest thing. I think I was wrong. I thought the game was telling me to play again, but this time there would be three aliens who would need to be rescued along the way. In reality, I think this secondary objective had been there from the start, and I just didn't notice. So I played it a second time. I talked to every space person I saw, some of whom followed me. I finished, and found that I'd only rescued 1/3. Rats. I'll probably never see the good ending, and that's okay. Each time I loaded the game, I thought, "I overrated this, right? It's sort of trash, isn't it? Do I like it ironically? And every time, I got sucked right back in to it. I like it more now than when I reviewed it. I like it as much or more than I like the turn-of-the-millennium shooters and immersive sims that it recalls—System Shock 2, Half-Life, Deus Ex...

It is a mess. It's easy to articulate its faults. There's just something about how thoroughly weird and unpretentious it is, though, and even after beating it twice in a week, it still rattles me. It pulls off jump scares just as well in open, brightly lit arenas as it does in darkened, twisting paths lined with squishy, organic matter. Oh, yes, the audio design. That's the real source of dread. Again, All You Can Eat is the game to play this week. It's currently the third-best reviewed game on this site. It pushes the adventure game genre in such an exciting direction that half of my review was just the repeated word, "Genius!" Alt-Frequencies is the most mainstream pick of the bunch, and not because it lacks fresh ideas and idiosyncrasies. It's currently the fourth-best reviewed game on this site. I have another game from Accidental Queens on the review docket for the week after next, and I am jazzed. That studio hasn't missed yet.

Alien Life Lab is stupid and weird. I can't stop thinking about it.

Steam Is Hot Air

Do you remember 2003? Do you remember Valve requiring some big, annoying launcher service for anyone who wanted to play Half-Life 2? If you don't, let me tell you: A lot of people wanted to play Half-Life 2, and a lot of them were not happy about downloading this "Steam" thing. They wanted you to check in online every time you launched a game???

I'd hoped to illustrate the vitriol with contemporary examples. Forum posts, IGN editorials; that kind of thing. Unfortunately, the best archival records I could find come from the creeps at Penny-Arcade. These guys are awful, and I'd rather not link to their site, but they had their finger on the pulse when it came to petty grievances. They were influencers. When Jerry "Tycho" Holkins wrote about being scared of a computer asking for credit card information or about local-multiplayer enthusiasts feeling infuriated because they couldn't connect to Steam from their local LAN café, he was capturing the whiny, online zeitgeist. I didn't have high-speed Internet or a computer capable of running Half-Life 2 in 2003, so that particular controversy didn't occupy much space on my radar. I do remember the first time I played Half-Life 2 at a friend's house. Launching the game seemed like a process, accompanied by a halfhearted rant from my friend that was aimed equally at Steam and the idiots who acted like this mildly obtrusive application was tantamount to a war crime. Let me jump forward and ask: What exactly was the Epic Games Store hullabaloo? Or maybe that should be is; not was. I still see people taking up arms over...something. There are a million valid reason to dislike and distrust Epic as a company, but as far as I can gather, the crusaders are angry that a big corporation threw around a lot of money to complete with another big corporation? I'm generally against impossibly wealthy corporations reshaping the world to their liking, but look consider how pathetic and unnecessary Ubisoft's and Electronic Arts' launchers are. Even with Epic snagging a exclusives and timed exclusives, have they made any kind of dent in Steam's monopoly? Let's talk about the danger of consolidated power.

I've mentioned before that when I play PC games, I use my third-party Switch Pro Controller whenever possible. It feels good. It was dirt cheap. It works for me. Or it did work for me, until a few months ago. Most modern games are prepared to encounter an Xbox controller. PlayStation controller support is not uncommon. Native Switch controller support, though? Forget it. In a recent update, Steam added full, official support for Steam controllers of all kinds...but not my controller. What had happily been accepted as a Switch Pro Controller one day was read as an Xbox controller the next. The Screen Capture Button that had never had any issues no longer does anything, because an Xbox 360 controller doesn't have that button, and apparently that's what I'm using. I lost rumble support on some games. The little surprises never end. And because Steam has historically been the PC's best bet for controller support, other launchers don't offer any competitive options. Go to any Reddit thread where people want to know how to make their controller work, and 9/10 replies are the same thing: Steam Big Picture Mode.

This is the most dramatic update in 20 years of Steam, and Valve just seems to be sinking deeper into the muck each day. If you haven't personally noticed any issues, look no further than the patch notes for proof that everything's in shambles, all the time. I encountered a bug where Big Picture Mode would make a sound like it was launching, and then it would just show my desktop. I found some suggestions online and got things working. Then, in the next update, they broke it all over again.

When it works, I don't have much beef with Steam. I prefer it to the old days of games installing wherever they pleased. I like that having an account that allows me to maintain my game library indefinitely, no matter how many times I replace my computer. Steam has been good to me.

But the naysayers were onto something. Digital Rights Management is only as good or as bad as the rights-holder chooses to be, and we all know how trustworthy and stable corporations are.

My Itch library may consist of "DRM-free" applications, but I'm depending on Itch to keep up its end. If the company folded tomorrow, there's no way I could download and back-up all my games.

I own games through GOG, Ubisoft, and Rockstar. Their launchers are fine, but I'm not comfortable making additional purchases on any service run by companies that (aLlEgEdLy) cover up systemic harassment and abuse. I have handfuls of games tied to this account or that. I'd obviously prefer to have them all in one place, but who can you trust? Can you ever really trust anyone?

Steam is still the best option. It's only real option, which is to say, we don't have options. It's working so far. Except when it's not. Can't wait to see what they break with the next patch.

Jake Reviews #JakeReviewsTwitch

Take a look at the tiny blue text at the bottom of this post. It appears on almost everything I post. But today, it's different. Today, it says, "#JakeReviewsItch" for the first time. I'm in my third month of posting at least once a day, and this is the first time I've noticed that my template has had a ridiculous typo all along. I remember writing "Twitch" when I meant "Itch" on the first day. I corrected it. It's something I've written and corrected many more times since then. I probably should have known to double check for it in my template as soon as I started using a template. I probably did. I probably deleted "Twitch" and wrote "Twitch" in its place. I've made changes to my format little by little since I started. Every day, I think, "I should shake it up. Question everything I'm doing. Tear it down and build something new. I should give scores out of 10, rather than five. Some of these 4/5s should be 3/5s, and some of these 3/5s should be 1/5; better adjust the whole scale. Tumblr isn't the right place for these reviews, anyway. How hard would it be to transfer to another site? And when am I going to write a post about everything wrong with my page?" Maybe it would be easier if I just committed to reviewing every single stream on Twitch

#JakeReviewsItch is a series of daily game reviews. You can learn more here. You can also browse past reviews…

• By name • By rating • By genre

[fierce-little-miana]

Me: I am feeling very tired, I think I am hungry and that makes me impatient and cranky. Could you give me five minutes to have a snack and just sit down so I don’t snap at anyone for something stupid?

My family: Sure!

1 minutes later.

My family: We just found this credit card receipt for your dog’s vet! It is from a month ago, did you pay us back for it?

Me: I transferred you money last week and the week before that…

My family: Yes but what is it for this?

Me: I think so?

My family: Are you sure? We are doing the accounts right now, and we need to know this instant.

Me* checks my bank account, realize that I did pay them back 3 weeks ago and named the money transfer appropriately so it would be easy for them to track when they do the accounts: I did pay you back the money 3 weeks ago!

My family: Jeez why are you so cranky about it?

Me:

[delllamortes]

i really, really hate to do this, but i’m getting pretty desperate, so here goes nothing 🥴

i’m very literally drowning in credit card bills, and i’m extremely overwhelmed by it. a lot has happened in the past year and a half that has caused me to spend way more than i can pay back. i’m currently unemployed, receiving EI (which is $882 every two weeks for me). $200 from each pay goes to my dad (i pay $400 a month to live here), my phone bill is $160 every month, i have 4 cats to provide for, and i need to buy food for myself and often for my mother as well, since she’s in rougher shape financially than i am. that leaves not a whole lot to put towards my credit cards, and often, what i AM actually able to put on them just gets wiped out by interest anyway. i’m doing my best to become more responsible financially, but i currently feel like i’ve dug a hole that i can not climb out of and it’s impacting my mental health so, so badly. i’ve been trying to find a job, but it’s hard, since most pay less than what i’m currently making on EI (which already isn’t nearly enough). i am not really one to ask for help, but i’m getting desperate, especially because a couple of my cats need to go for checkups soon and i have no idea how i’m going to pay for it. and so i’m going to swallow my pride and ask for help. i have a kofi, or if you’re in canada, my e-transfer email address is sarahrach081@gmail . com. i can also make a paypal if that’s easier. i’m willing to provide proof in the form of screenshots of my balances if needed.

i know times are rough for a lot of us so please do not feel bad if you can’t help out. my own irresponsibility in the past is part of why i’m in this hole, and there are definitely people who deserve the help more. but if you’re willing and able, even if it’s just a few dollars, i appreciate you so much 🥺 if you send something and would like a little doodle or something as thanks, i’d be more than happy to do that (i’ve gotten very rusty so i can’t guarantee it would be like, good, but i’m willing to try anyway 😅)

thank you for reading. please reblog if you can, i need all the help i can get right now 🥴