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liketwoswansinbalance · 1 month

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In the modern publishing landscape, these days, I think like we do not have many (if any) point-of-view characters with low social motivation for whatever reason.

Sure, there are lots of characters with social anxiety or other perceived or legitimate foibles to overcome, there are many YA villain origin stories, and there are many unpalatable, traditionally "unlikable" men in classics, but disregarding those, who else do we have?

Can the state of openly being alone (and content) rarely be presented as morally-neutral or as the end result of a narrative? Must it always be that either being alone is the starting point, so there's room for "personal growth," or that being alone is seen as "undesirable" and/or an indication that the person alone has a "problem" or something otherwise wrong with them, like a deficit or moral failing that in some kind of karmic way gives them "what they deserve," which is being alone and discontent with it?

Characters with society anxiety, any differences in communication, or other reasons that interfere with forging connections "don't count" because they may still be motivated. Traits such as these only stand in the way of gaining relationships, as plot obstacles. They aren't intrinsically tied to indifference or to low motivation. So, these characters clearly are not experiencing a lack of interest. And they are not the ones rejecting others. Thus, they "don't count" as far as the archetype that I'm looking for goes.

Characters who undergo villain arcs or otherwise negative arcs may want to maintain their relationships or gain them, so some examples are immediately disqualified (hence not having low social motivation), even if they are the type of character most likely to alienate themselves by a story's end, conflicting with what they wanted.

(Unfortunately, Coriolanus Snow, who is quite close to the type of protagonist I'm searching for "doesn't count" because he has some drive to keep people in his life.

Rafal Mistral partially "counts," and is satisfying as a character, but also doesn't count because he temporarily makes "friends" or allies, depending on how you look at his exploits. Yet, despite all this, not having friends isn't exactly framed as a morally-neutral state either, so he is also disqualified by the end. Basically, he does have low social motivation, but his narrative lacks the conditions that would make the natural consequences of that low motivation play out for themselves. He is always surrounded by people, even if he hates every last one of them.

And, generally speaking, the usual, moody-broody, "misunderstood" YA love-interests very easily "don't count" because they have a desire to get closer to their object of affection.

Even Katniss Everdeen, an overall good person, who usually views herself as "unlikable," befriends others, originally for pragmatic, survival purposes. However, she does start with low social motivation, so that's something in her favor.

And yes, I'm aware that we need other people in this world—I would just like to see someone prove that supposed truth wrong once. And perhaps succeed in their world, if that's not too much to ask for.)

Also, are there any instances of characters who progressively alienate themselves from others, in which that progression is not inherently seen as negative? Like, what about non-corrupt misanthropes? Are there few of those in literature? (Maybe—Eleanor Oliphant from literary fiction counts, but something about that book did not appeal me and I didn't finish it.)

Classics guys sort of "count," but I haven't really seen examples of any comparable protagonists today since many authors and readers write and look for "relatability" in blank slate everyman figures oftentimes.

(I'm not done with Crime and Punishment yet, but Raskolnikov is very tentatively looking like a safe bet for a character who may end up alone and who may not be completely malcontent over such a fate, even if I'm expecting tragedy. I'm that not far along, but I also wouldn't mind it too greatly if he died, I suppose.

And even Sherlock Holmes has Watson as his constant, even if he's notoriously asocial! So he "doesn't count" either.

Carol from Main Street also comes close, but still ultimately desires approval from others.

Maybe no one is truly immune to humanity and I should give up on this notion?)

How many pov characters out there are 1) apathetic toward the masses and 2a) either alienate themselves as the plot progresses or 2b) do not make any friends? (I will allow them making friends and consequently losing them though because that still ends in net zero!)

Indeed, this "gap" in protagonists I've been running into lately, especially with coming-of-age arcs and protagonists whose arc is some form of "getting out of their shell," is: why do we (almost?) never see protagonists who just flat-out don't progress in terms of connecting with fellow humans?

Wouldn't having even a handful of those types be reflective of reality? (We as a society are more disconnected than ever, to be fair, despite constantly having access to one another via technology.)

Or I would completely understand it, if it were narratively impractical to have a plot in which a protagonist makes zero friends. Maybe, it's a near-unwritable form for a story?

So, my question is: does anyone have book recommendations, which present a character whose end goal is not to make friends or forge connections (any other ambitions or motivations are fine) and whose state of being friendless both lasts and is regarded as morally-neutral or as not outright evil? Any genre is fine. High fantasy is preferable. I am stumped.

(I also wouldn't mind recommendations of books in which the protagonist is vilified due to being alone, even if that is not my primary query here.)

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crippleprophet · 1 year

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rules of engagement before we begin: do not seek the original post out to interact with it negatively or harass op in any way. if i find out about anybody doing that sort of shit i’ll block them so quick it’ll be the fastest i’ve moved all year. ok thx here we go

[image description: three screenshots of a post with the username blacked out. the introductory & closing paragraphs are as follows, & the bullet points will be listed within the body of this post. the introduction reads:

nobody warns you this but addiction happens without you noticing and one of the first things that it attacks is your ability to care. if you find yourself using recreational drugs every day, stop and take one day a week sober. if you struggle with this or if you don't see the point of the exercise, you are likely already addicted and you need help.

nobody ever taught me the warning signs for drug addiction, only that "it costs lots of money and destroys your life!!!1" which is not helpful if you can't recognize a developing addiction in yourself. so here's some things to watch out for with recreational drug use.

the conclusion reads: yes this applies to weed. weed is a drug and you can get addicted to it like any other substance. addiction is not the same as physical dependence; it is psychological and it can happen to anyone. you are not immune to addiction. end image description.]

now! fundamentally why i will never align with this kind of perspective is that i affirm addiction as a social construct, like all so-called mental illnesses, & the psychiatric institution which invents & reifies them as a fucking sham.

answer quickly:

what substances is it possible for one to become addicted to? does this include caffeine? why or why not?

is the claim of sugar addiction legitimate or anti-fat pseudoscience? what, if anything, differentiates this from other addiction science?

what is the harm of the so-called opioid epidemic: access to a safe supply of narcotics, or the lack thereof?

can an autistic person who eats the same dinner every night, for example, be said to be “psychologically addicted” to it if they have a meltdown & subsequent ongoing distress + disinterest in food when it is discontinued?

can you be addicted to psychiatric medication? immunosuppressants? why or why not?

my point is less that these behaviors are not indicative of addiction but rather that that wouldn’t inherently make them harmful. fuck it, let’s take it point by point!

planning your day around drugs e.g "i'll give myself an extra half hour before heading out so i can get high first"

this whole post had me asking “literally what is the problem with this,” starting with this first bullet! why does someone need to leave for the grocery store at 5:30 instead of 6, or whatever? and the other recurring theme: what happens if you replace “drugs” with “pain management”? (chronic pain is not the only valid reason to get high—all reasons for drug use are equally value-neutral—but it certainly still is one.) “i’ll give myself an extra half hour before heading out for my pain management to start working” is the kind of calculation familiar to most people with chronic pain. “stop and take one day a week without pain management” is not a test of whether you “need help,” it’s torture.

now, disregarding one’s priorities or commitments to other people in favor of drugs can happen, & in many circumstances it’s harmful to the other people impacted. that’s not what was said here, & stopping that behavior does not require getting sober.

rapidly switching emotions around drugs. you love them but you hate that you love them so much. you hate the way you feel on them but you hate being sober. feeling guilty after using even when you didn't give a crap beforehand.

do you know what else i love but hate that i love, what else i hate using? my fucking bed. three years ago, my mobility scooter. this is not a logical argument, this is a bullshit argument. my feelings about something do not inherently reflect its harm to others – or to myself, even, though i firmly argue for the right to make “self-harmful” decisions regardless.

you know what people hate being on but hate worse being off? the vast fucking majority of medications.

why might a drug user start to feel guilty when they previously didn’t? being shamed by friends, family, or a fucking tumblr post; surpassing a constructed threshold of “acceptable” use they didn’t know they’d internalized; experiencing new or greater access issues; beginning to probe their morality around drugs & unpack things they were taught; experiencing consequences of criminalization; getting triggered.

caring less about spending money. if you are budgeting for drugs like they are food, you are likely prioritizing them more than is healthy.

“if you are budgeting for pain management like it’s as important as food, you are likely prioritizing it more than is healthy.” health is absolutely useless as a value for me anyway, but: the food’s no good if i’m too nauseous or too dead to eat it.

prioritizing drugs over other people’s financial needs is harmful! this wouldn’t happen if food & drugs were provided to people; some people wouldn’t need as many drugs if their needs were met otherwise; people’s needs being met shouldn’t be dependent on their parent / partner / self not using drugs; this harm is not what the bullet says.

getting high to do household chores and other unpleasant things because it would suck less and be more bearable on drugs

“things should suck. because god wills it i said so.”

feeling anxious or restless while sober, not knowing what to do with oneself, feeling lost or ungrounded.

again just. what’s the problem with that. so what if being sober sucks or is boring or stressful or demanding. so what if someone decides to deal with that sober or decides to use more because of that. who gives a shit.

thinking about doing drugs constantly even while sober. maybe it's the first thing you think of when you wake up. maybe when you're bored or otherwise have free time, drugs are one of the first things you can think of to occupy yourself with.

“thinking about getting better pain management constantly when you’re in pain”

i feel like you’re gonna tell me the only thing that can really take my pain away is jesus

again like. what is the problem with doing drugs because you’re bored. why do i need to occupy myself, what, fucking productively?

going to work or school while under the influence, especially if it happens regularly and if you're seeing your performance suffer as a result.

what’s wrong with going to school high. derailing a class discussion is a dick move, maybe, but that’s not inherent to being high. work & performance are both very broad terms – a surgeon or someone operating heavy machinery not being sober is putting others at risk of harm in a way a cashier is not.

the idea of taking a 'tolerance break' sounds good to you until it's actually break time, at which point you can come up with 20 very reasonable sounding points to explain why it wouldn't benefit you actually and you should just keep doing drugs regardless.

y’all think this is incredibly circular logic too right? “drugs are bad, so telling yourself drugs are not bad is proof that they’re bad.” took me right back to the sunday school classroom and i wish i was fucking exaggerating. it’s an argument founded upon the inherent wrongness of trusting yourself – what you want to do must be wrong because you want it. this is one of the points that’s a more solid indicator of, like, “congrats! you’re now in circumstances doctors are salivating to psychiatrize as XYZ Use Disorder,” but that doesn’t make it any less nonsense as a moral argument.

even if you succeed at quitting the drug, you keep your dealer's number on your phone "just in case"

so what. what’s wrong with giving yourself the continual autonomy to choose whether or not to do drugs. what’s wrong with quitting drugs for a while and starting using again.

you pretend to be sober when you aren't. you worry about other people noticing how much time you spend high. you make efforts to hide your drug use or minimize how much other people think you're using. you're scared of other people's judgement if they were to find out.

this one might be the most ludicrous to me, which is really saying something. “if other people being bigoted towards drug users makes you pretend to use less than you do, that’s your fault & not theirs.” cool! thanks for the quick heads up to not believe a word you say!

you have mood swings laced with self-hatred, regret, financial worries, and guilt. these mood swings are then very quickly wiped away by feelings of "but it doesn't matter, i can do what i want, and clearly i'm doing just fine while using drugs frequently". news flash, if you are rapidly switching between feeling numb-ok and hating yourself more than anything because of your drug use, you are mentally ill.

again, “the norm knows you better than you know yourself, you can’t listen to yourself, the body is wrong, wanting is wrong, pleasure is wrong, you are wrong wrong wrong.” but god, what a beautiful example of how oppression is psychiatrized: it’s not enough for the oppression to have worked, the system must then convince us that the effects of it working are our own fault. it’s not enough to just kill us with us fully aware of the knife, it’s gotta convince us we’re bleeding out for no reason. if you want any moments of pleasure during your miserable godforsaken little life you’d better put your nose back on the goddamn grindstone and repent. everything around you for your entire life has told you to hate yourself for your drug use but if the combined force of that violence works you are mentally ill, and that is the worst crime of all.

according to this post, when is it okay to use drugs, then? well, not planned into your day, and not at work or school, but not when you’re bored or have been thinking about it too much, and not if anyone who’d judge you or you don’t trust knowing you’re high or you just don’t want knowing is around, and not if you don’t want to quit, but also not if you’ve quit already. you have to hate your drug use otherwise that’s proof it’s attacked your ability to care but hating your drug use is proof you should stop. #JustSayNo

#& yes i wrote this stoned #substance use #drug use #addiction #drugs #long post #stigma #mac.txt #habitual intertwinement

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bugs1nmybrain · 8 months

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Clingy!Tomura x Fem!Reader - Headcanons

Minors Don't Interact

Warnings: NSFW, submissive Tomura, mommy kink!!, mdlb, attachment issues, shiggy being a lil bitch, clingy Tomura, toxic relationship, pegging/anal sex (shiggy receiving), I am unhinged

I wanted a longer one shot but I have too many thoughts so here they are. Idk what's gotten into me. There will probably be a part two. I'm sleepy

So for starters, Shigaraki is a confusing dude because that whole "I hate everything" complex is almost completely reversed when it comes to you unless he has a legitimate reason to be mad at you. He loves you

He is clingy, and if he's not doing something important, he is totally hanging off of you. He's the type to follow you to the bathroom because he just can't get enough of your company. He doesn't care that it's weird

Will deny that he is so dependent on you!! Don't believe him. He will prove himself otherwise shortly after when he's rambling at you about how it's stupid that you have to go to work and "leave him stranded"

This guy has never received positive female attention since he was a child, and even then, he only got it from girls who betrayed his trust

So if you hold a sort of protective energy toward him and don't hesitate to stand up for him, he will ADORE you

That "motherly" affection you give him makes him choke and awakens a boy who was never loved properly. It's not as twisted as it sounds, he just feels at home with you, and when you baby him and treat him like a prince his heart pounds so much and his cheeks go red.

The mommy kink starts as a joke

You'll ask him to do something in an assertive tone and he's just "Yes mommy :)"

And you'll go "👀"

Then he just roles with it, and calls you mommy at random times just to piss you off

It's not until you both discover that you have a rather nurturing side that it becomes a regular thing that turns both of you on

It's sexual at first. When you take charge and spoil him, ask him what he needs, and pleasure him in the exact ways you know makes him cum hard, he'll be pleading.

"Fuuuck, Mommy pleeeaase! Please make me cum, please, mommy!!"

"Mmm pleaseee. I've been a good boy, fuuuck mommy!"

Once you do, he's begging you to come snuggle with him. He'll rest his head on your boobs and hold on for dear life.

He loves roaming his hands on your body and feeling how soft and plushy you are compared to his rather rigid and toned figure.

You're cozy! He feels like he's grabbing a teddy bear

His favorite spots to grab are your waist, butt, and tummy

Sometimes his fingers wander to your cunt compulsively because he just doesn't think

Oh great god he loves your pussy so much

Your pussy is enough to save him. So warm and wet, and when you slam yourself down on him when you ride him it drives him crazy. If he's on top, he's pounding you so deep. He doesn't even mean to hurt you (a little bit of a lie), he just can't get enough of your insides. He feels great though, don't mistake that.

Once he figures out how to touch you properly, he is abusing his powers for evil

Will eagerly eat you out and suck on your tits. He's has a tiny oral fixation.

Tomura was a virgin before you. Not spiritually, but he'd never fucked anyone. Some stuff online and a criminal amount of porn, though? Yea

Thay first time came quickly (and so did he) because the day you met, there was a potent chemistry between you two.

He brought up the "peg" word first

He was a little anxious but he'd played with himself in that area in the past on himself. Not extensively, but he knew it was a place of pleasure for him

Admittedly it feels great for him if you're generous with lube but when you did it at first, it hurt like a bitch

It doesn't matter if you're tall or much shorter than him, he wants you to treat him like your little boy.

Caress him and coo to him. He needs you to tell him how special he is to you and how much you love him. He needs to hear how perfect he is for you, and that you accept him.

If you play with his hair, he might cry

Actually, on the topic of crying, you're probably the only person he'll cry around. And it's because he trusts you not to judge him or put him down for it. He also knows that he can come to you and that you'll hold him and be there to comfort him through it. His hatred and bottled up sadness cracks up and when you let him release it into your shoulder, ..sometimes the mommy word slips out

He has a huge fear that you'll leave him. And you'd have every right. He'd have all the power to finish you off. Tomura doesn't have that rage toward you, at least he doesn't believe or want that. That said, he usually ends up confiding in you, usually a little pissed, but ultimately, he's sad

"I lo-*hic*I love you*hic*I love you mommy.. *hic*??*hicc* d-do you hate me?? I'm sorry!! Dont leave"

Please reassure him that he's enough, and that you love him as he is

If you bless him with kisses all over his face he'll cackle like a little bitch

He'll retaliate and yell at you to "fuckin' stop!!" but when you do it's an instant "mommyyyy no come back!"

He loves just laying in bed and having pillow talk while you caress his face, hair, shoulders, back. He even loves you pulling at his waist. Fuck he just loves you when you love up on him, too

he finally has someone to care for him in a genuine, loving, adoring way.

He is such a goober around you and is very affectionate, but in front of his guys? It's complicated

He likes showing you off, yea. And he isn't afraid to give you a kiss or touch you around them. But that intimate, wholesome side of it? Noo. He needs his "don't fuck with me" reputation to stick.

He is clingy in an unhealthy way, too, and insecure. If you don't give him the right amount of attention, he's worrying about it. He begs you to tell him what he did wrong or if you hate him. If you're gone too long, he misses you so damn much!

If you call him simple things like "baby boy" or even "Tomura" in a sweet tone of voice, he will melt

He loves you

It's his absolute favorite thing if you wake him in the night and stroke his cock, kiss him all over his neck and tell him how pretty he is. His masculinity isn't that fragile, not when it's just you and him at least. He has a little bit of a somnophilia kink, receiving and giving

He wants to feel adored and cared about. Protected.

He'll protect you too! No one will ever lay a finger on his mommy, and if they do, it's game over

#shigaraki tomura #shigaraki x fem reader #shigaraki tomura headcanons #shigaraki tomura smut #tomura shigaraki

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velvetvexations · 10 days

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I feel like a lot of the trans women saying that masculinity/manhood is always rewarded in everyone because patriarchy often forget that the opposite is true, actually, for people who are seen as women/put in the "woman" category.

Because yes, trans women are usually forced into manhood and "rewarded" for being men, and punished for being women. But that's not because manhood is universally rewarded in everyone, but because partriarchy sees having been born with a penis as "man".

It also sees being born with a vagina as "woman", and every deviation from that is *also* punished.

Yes, people who are seen as women/girls may have more freedom in expression of gender (depending on where they are from. I hate when ppl act like people afab everywhere can just dress like men without punishment. There are so many countries with laws on what "women" (and those treated as women because of their agab) can wear, and if anyone believes for one second that breaking these laws is REWARDED in any way, they're so fucking deep in their own head and need to talk to someone from these countries) but that freedom was fought for by feminists! Feminists have fought to be simply just allowed to wear pants. It's ridiculous to look at how it is now (in the western world) and make conclusions on that without looking at *why* it is that way now and how it was before.

And people are usually expected to grow out of their tomboy-"phase" by the time they reach their late teens, or early twenties at latest, and become a feminine woman, wife, and mother. If you don't do that, your masculinity gets punished.

And the masculinity of people afab is also only (begrudgingly) accepted (in SOME places in the world) as long as they're still visible as women or girls and their masculinity is hot and serves cishet men. As soon as they step "too far" out of these roles (by being non-binary or men, or being "ugly", fat, or anything that would make them "undesirable"), their masculinity gets punished. Horribly.

It's really infuriating when (trans)radfem trans women try to act like their experiences are universal and whenever someone says something that disagrees with them, they must be lying or "delusional" (yay, ableism! so progressive /s) for thinking that they were, in fact, punished for their masculinity or manhood...

Sorry for unloading this on you, didn't know where else to put it. And thank you so much for listening.

I think a major issue here is that no matter how much we try to reason things out and work through why they act the way they do, radical feminism, trans or cis, ultimately comes down, at some point, to a deliberate decision to prioritize egocentrism and their own desires over seeing other people as real, actual people - not even other transfems, who they just sexualize and try to control, or call a TERF if they can't. And it's hard to reason with that.

Like, they have to know on some level that they hyperinflate trans women in particular being "socially murdered"* to use as social capital and terrorize younger** transfems into isolating themselves. Maybe a very long time ago for some of them it came from the distress they felt from the legitimately immense danger transfems face in a variety of contexts, but they've shot far beyond that now and just don't really care. They've built a cage of unreality around themselves that makes me feel like I'm talking to aliens.

Like the other day, I was talking to one who insisted that the tee-em-ees will not show up for me. Like, I said they did, and she said they won't, and I was like, but they DO! They have! Always! I've seen it with my own eyes, directly for me specifically! But it was just "who hurt you," "let yourself be angry," "don't settle for just scraps," "they won't treat you better if you throw yourself at their feet," "social murder," and it's like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ARE YOU HAVING A STROKE? WAS THIS A DREAM YOU HAD?

And what about the deliberately cruel fuckery, the constant derision of the most petty things like forcemasc? What the fuck do they get out of wrongly asserting that women are never punished for masculinity and never have a problem with being viewed as masculine, like why are they doing that, what is their goal? Because it seems like it's literally just "mock and invalidate the sexual interests of others and deem it an inferior copy of our thing."

What do they get out of misgendering cis and trans men for forcefem funsies and telling them to suck it up? They don't really believe that their forcefem joke is the only thing that might make an egg crack. That's extremely obviously a lie. They're doing it because they want to, because it's their kink, because they don't care about the feelings of other people, and they can use transmisogyny as a convenient defense when people ask them to moderate literally any of their behavior for the comfort of everyone else to literally any extent while demanding everyone else shut up and defer to them on every single topic in every single situation.

And this stuff with D20 and Ophiuchus and the transmasc character being treated better? A lie. Just fully making it up. Inventing it. Fabricating it. For attention.

I've never had one acknowledge it when I've tried to explain that I first learned about all of this from transmasc friends bringing it to me so they could defer to my opinion.

They're determined to stay like this. It sucks.

*truly a phrase that makes me livid to even think about now, they reduce it to about the same level of seriousness as forcefem jokes, every single time it's so thoughtlessly hollow and self-obsessed but you could guess that from it being a fair description of every thought they externalize

**let me make this clear, I'm referring to young adults, I am not accusing anyone of being predatory towards minors nor am I saying the motivations are necessarily sexual anyway, although clearly transradfems don't care about the effect their hyperbole will have on the mental health of minors exposed to it and trained from a young age to never trust anyone, so underage transfems are very much a concern here, but not in the sense that they're being directly and personally abused in any way

#so angry for so many reasons #transandro phobia #trans radical feminism #discourse

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shivology · 9 months

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okay. one day i will stop talking about islam but it's not gonna be today. anyway, to overcorrect on post-9/11 islamophobia, a lot of liberal spaces infested by the types of muslims who will call you islamophobic and disrespectful of their culture when you call them out on their homophobia or transphobia and who will deny the infestations of misogyny and antiblackness and antisemitism in their (our) communities because Um Actually You Don't Get The Full Context, have started to almost . idk the word but like, deify? whitewash? sugarcoat? islam as if it's like. One Inherently Good Singular Ideology Misunderstood By White People For Racism Reasons. when yes, obviously, islam and muslims who live in the west are oppressed, but that's not all islam is. and it's such disservice to act like Islam cannot be oppressive to so many people who do live in the global south living either directly under islamist rule or just in conservative muslim-majority communities, to say that no actually we're a peaceful religion and we WORSHIP women actually! like to gaslight people who have actually been forced to wear the hijab, who have actually been victims of misogynistic honor-based violence, who have actually been pulled out of school to be married off to a 50 year old man because "the prophet did it so it's islamically ok!"

and it's tricky to talk about because you don't want to fuel islamophobia (which, like antisemitism, is obviously a legitimate tangible thing, but also can be weaponized) also it is so fucking ANNOYINGGGGG to watch discourse on islam be led by people who have never experienced oppression fueled by islam like sure you're a good ally to guys like mohamed hijab but also people like sara hegazy mahsa amini etc etc all these people are real people who were tangibly hurt in the name of islam. there is a reason why a man like andrew tate felt it was ok for a man like him to convert to islam and there is a reason why so many Muslim men welcomed him with open fucking arms. you're sure not a good ally to queer people and atheists and christians and jews who have been tangibly hurt in the name of islam.

and we can discuss the doctrine itself, we can talk about the effects of colonialism, we can talk about how no actually islam doesn't say that lets not conflate between ~ real religion and corrupt regimes but the thing issssss. religion is literally what you make of it. it is an idea. there is a book and you take what you take from it. there is no such thing as "the correct way" to practice religion, especially when all Abrahamic religions have the capacity to be peaceful AND the capacity to be violent. what is REAL representation? who are you to say what real representation is, anyway? who decides what is extremism? why do you, personally, get to pick and choose who and what represents a certain religion?

islam, like Every Religion Ever, manifests itself in different ways depending on ur social context. whether you have the means to exact oppression via religion or whether you are disenfranchised because you're an ethnic or racial or religious minority. religion has and always will be used both as a tool for good (community building, etc) or for evil (daaesh, lol) it's not about religion itself. it's about how you use it and its place in the social pecking order.

anyway. tl;dr. i hate oversimplication and i hate overcorrection. quite frankly, it's orientalist and racist, to assume that an organized religion followed by over a billion people in most countries in the world, all believe the same beliefs. even if u think these beliefs are "good." here's over a billion of us and some of us are bound to be cunts! statistically.

#i remember learning about sara hegazi's death via people making memes about her fucking killing herself. people i know and am friends with.#by the way.#most people did not give a single flying fuck about iranian women being killed in the streets.#these people do not represent islam of course but they represent themselves and their idea of islam #just like people who feed stray cats and donate to charity in the name of islam and protect churches and synagogues #because their religion says they should. these people represent only themselves as well and their idea of Islam #this is all over the place but whatevahhh #also kossom mohamed hijab if that was not clear<3

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leonardcohenofficial · 9 months

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20 questions for fic writers

i was tagged by @majorbaby to answer these—thank you so much!!!!!!!

i'll tag @draftdodgerag / @radioprune/ @sightofsea and anyone else who'd like to do this! answers below:

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? a grand total of five :D

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 28,313 words!

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently have only published for mash, but i have fics for the man from uncle, star trek, star wars, doctor who, twin peaks, starsky and hutch, and black sails in drafts

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? i only have five fics on ao3 LOL

5. Do you respond to comments? i do my best to!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i suppose it's (open your hands) given it takes place before "bottoms up" which is fairly angsty in the overall houlifield arc

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? between the two longform fics i've posted—someone is waiting and so this is the word—they both have happy endings! i suppose whatever is happier depends on if you're more of a fan of piercintyre or hunnihawk endgame

8. Do you get hate on fics? i've never received any direct hate, so none that i'm aware of....................

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes; not usually plain pwp because i like having somewhat of a story tied to the smut but every once in a while it's less plot-driven

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? i have not written any crossovers nor do i particularly feel any want to

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? nope/not to my knowledge, hope to keep it that way!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? no but would be honored and open to granting permission to do so!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, don't really have interest in doing so (LOL)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? legitimately such a hard question lol; there are some ships that i don't even think about actively shipping because in my mind i nearly forget that they're not canon (see: spirk, skysolo, albert/dale, illya and napoleon, etc.) whereas there are certain relationship dynamics that continue to make me feel like the top of my head is being torn off and i think always will (twelveclara is absolutely insanity inducing, vanerackham also being a ship that really took over my brain and has not let go since, honorable mention to whatever barisi did to my psyche as a seventeen year old); not to mention all the relationships from non-fandom (for lack of a better term) media that i find extraordinarily emotionally impactful (tommy and axel in edge of the city, omar and johnny in my beautiful laundrette, whatever is happening between hamlet ophelia and horatio, same with karen joe and martha in these three, could name plenty of books and films and plays that this happens to me with)

all of this to say, it probably is piercintyre (still with a lot of love for hunnihawk) or spirk

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i have a few mash fic drafts that have been sitting in my notes app since literally 2019 so we will see if those ever see the light of day lmfao

16. What are your writing strengths? i think i'm very good at third person limited POV, which is how i write all of my fics (i don't like first person POV fics, despise omniscient, and find second person hardest to write); i also think that i'm pretty strong with narrative structure (comes with being a dramaturg lol) and internal dramaturgy and detail when it comes to researching for my writing

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i don't write linearly (this applies to my academic writing as well as fics) which i think does often make it harder on myself when piecing together a bunch of vignettes and trying to make them flow; i think that my understanding of narrative structure helps me get around this but i do wish i didn't always throw in an obstacle to my own writing. i also think i can be a bit too succinct (this is more a challenge with my academic writing than my fics imho but is a note that i get consistently from my committee haha)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? if the writer actually knows how to speak it and isn't just throwing text into google translate on a wing and a prayer, i don't always HATE it hate it; i've read a few good the man from uncle fics where if illya is speaking in ukranian or russian it's either mentioned in a character's POV or the text is put in italics which i think is a more effective device in communicating that the characters are speaking another language rather than the one the fic is written in

19. First fandom you wrote for? i wrote very bad doctor who and sherlock fanfiction when i was in middle school which i published on deviantart LMFAOOOOOOO

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? i think the honor has to go to someone is waiting—it was just such a labor of love and weaving in all of the sondheim references that have been so important to me with a longform exploration of hawkeye's takes on love was (as cheesy as it is to say) really special to me as a writer and it means so much that it resonated with so many people! (plus it has a very good soundtrack)

#thanks ben!!!!!#this was fun to reflect on #someday i will actually publish fic not on new year's eve again LMAO

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tkblythofficial · 8 months

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same twitter newsboy anon again! you brought up so many great points, forgive me for ranting but i've been feeling insane over there.

"What does calling out J have to do with T?" is so funny because they brought up T themselves. Yes, the account that posted the tweet going "y'all pander to your faves' boyfriends just to get attention" does post zeglyth, but T wasn't mentioned at all. It's funny that he's living rent free in their heads, because why are you shooting yourself in the foot and bringing him up, knowing that its a case of hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby? When just a few hours ago the screenshots of him defending her went viral AGAIN.

Calling her “my best friend” she’s not your best friend. Oh my god you finally said it! Not saying names but the person who posts that under every single R related post was sort of surprising/cute(??) when I first saw it, but weirder the more I think about it. It's not a once in a while joke, it's every single post. And of course R picked up on it (how could she not) and she acknowledged it by joking "you're not that person" to the other people who began copying it, so now they're all going to do it more!

(Side note but that person who started this was under J's congrats post back in 2021, so they've obviously been part of this for a long time. And their most recent post is "if you are not me and you've said rachel zegler my best friend i have your address and i'm serious" which just shows that it isn't about expressing love towards R, it's about getting her attention. Some strange concept of exclusivity.)

And there was a hilarious interaction between an R+ J defender and a confused commenter. The defender said "some of you are really weird about zegvera and you're disrespecting R". The commenter went "wait who are we talking about? josh hutcherson? rivera? OH HER CURRENT BOYFRIEND?" and the defender replied all excited "YES" but then the commenter went "isn't he in trouble with everyone because he's way older than her" and the defender just stopped replying LMAO.

I don't want to end this on a bad note but this wave of drama is getting more interactions than past iterations (at least from what i've seen), so I'm legitimately considering this affecting whatever R might or might not have done for T's birthday. It will probably depend on her mood that day (whether she fought with J recently or not lmao) but I definitely feel like she might hold back/not post. I am also pissed at the thought of that.

They’re very intimidated by T / Zeglyth. And they use T’s age to justify liking R and J. The age gap between R and J isn’t the problem lol, it’s the age when they met. It doesn’t click in their brains.

The crazy part of “my best friend R” is a lot of those people hated her last year. They were apart of the hate train and now are begging for attention from her.

R being so actively online has made people think she’s actually their friend. It’s quite sad how possessive and obsessed they are to get her attention.

LOL not a confused commenter knowing what’s wrong immediately

I don’t think it will affect her Zeglyth post on his bday! If it does, I will be pissed! But I’m sure R will still post and forget about this stupid drama (hopefully). But people have been more rabid than usually. The hot tub pic changed everything lol

#my answers #zeglyth #off topic

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sharonisthebettercarter · 7 months

Note

Billy and fucklander had opportunities to change and didn't take them. Ryan will have an opportunity to change and will try to change... only for his deadbeat dad and/or billy to take it from him because billy is at a point of no return and deadbeat is a life ruiner. Will any of this excuse some of Ryan's future involvement/behaviors? No... But it makes him more sympathetic than spermdonor and Billy combined.

goddammit anon. you're killin' me here. seen a couple of these answered by other folks in fandom so i'm guessing you have your thoughts written somewhere and then copy/paste them into people's inboxes?

i mean, i get the havin' thoughts lmao (i do~<3!!) but if you have so much to say/rant on and want specific people to respond, why not make your own posts and tag people about it? don't get me wrong, i don't mind answerin' a ramble or two here and there but sometimes it gets a lil excessive. 6 asks in one go is a lot, *especially* when the topics are *stressful* instead of *fun*.

scratch that, getting *ONE* of these asks can be a lot.

*SIX (6)* at one time is too fucking many, i can be overwhelmed too. i'm not just a place for you to dump these and expect a response, i'm a fucking living breathing entity behind this screen (who instead of being friendly, *can* delete and ignore them, need i remind)

do not abuse my kindness or patience, do not mistake either for weakness.

i'ma need a LONG ass break after this. leik. 666 months long cause holy fuck. gotdamn. gimme a breather. also still queuing shit so asking more shit and or bombarding me with asks *isn't* gonna make it come any faster.

it comes when it comes, i put it in the queue and shuffle.

you know the drill, you don't get 6 separate answers, i'm condensing into one and usin' italics and bold for the asks

anywho~ not true.

yes for billy, he is aware of his actions, his plight, and knows better, but he chooses to do worse. (altho i do recognize first hand how difficult addictions are to deal with, and billy is absolutely an addict.)

literally no for homelander. people who are victims of grooming like homie are kept in a state of childlike dependency/belief so that they *can't* leave their abuser, have no choice or 'oPpOrTuNiTy' to leave them, *OR* will only go from one abuser to the next because they've been *conditioned* to expect the abuse.

i feel like you keep saying that but i'ma be point blank this time. it's ableist, victim blaming, and completely undermines the situation homelander went through/is still going through. repeating it won't make it true, it's wrong, always was and will remain wrong. all you're doing is ignoring what his actual situation is and what has actually happened to make yourself feel better about hating him.

and that's not even to say you can't hate him or that his actions should be excused. literally no one is saying that and i don't think i've ever seen anyone actually say that unironically (not saying it can't happen but i'm guessing it's pretty rare to come across (at least outside of the maga chuds) since most people just hate him) but you should at least be fucking honest/aware about his situation/*NOT DISMISSIVE*.

i'm including another post i added resources to that debunk this gross (and very ignorant) claim. please give legitimate psychology the time of day before you go around repeating ableist/victim blaming talking points.

*even billy* to certain degrees, should get his addiction acknowledged, instead of denied or *enabled*, because addiction in *all forms* is a debilitating, life destroying THING that is fucking difficult to fight. it's like it's own form of battle with an abuser, except the only other person is *you*. becca alone should be example enough that empathy and compassion can *help* in ways people downright *refuse* to give the time of day (even if i do lament billy using her like his 'new' addiction... the cunt--)

seriously. i'm not kidding, take the time to educate yourself instead of just being angry (at fiction i might add) all the time. that stress can't be good for you, *anger is proven to make people dumber*, and otherwise the only response you'll get from me is going to be, 'actually you're wrong, here's why--*linked resources*'.

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"

you repeat ableism and victim blaming? i'm going to call you out on it (if i don't just delete it, bitch i am TIRED--), you will not get a different response from me, i will always try to correct misinformation or disinformation when i can, however that may come.

*you* have a choice, but you keep *choosing* to ignore the resources i provide because they make you confront your own biases, but i ain't playin' on these subjects.

that is a no go in this court.

ryan will need someone to show him he has a choice and that he is worthy of love no matter where he goes or who he's with. again, this goes back to psychology but ryan is still only a child. his brain is literally not developed enough to make these decisions himself/be immune to influence (which just realistically, absolutely no one is regardless of age)

i feel for ryan, i *worry and hope* for him far more, but the trauma faced here is not a contest. please do not do that, that is super fucked. and even if it were--

homelander. homelander would win and take all the fuckin' prizes, there is literally *no one* in this series that has had shit worse than him (he was literally fucking tortured from the second he was created and then fucking groomed leik wut the fuck--)

honestly, it's kind of a fuckin' miracle he didn't turn out *worse*.

*and even then*, what homelander faced would be neither excuse nor reason to dismiss any of the trauma any of the characters have faced, even and especially as a result of him, and vice versa. sympathy overall is subjective. people generally sympathize most with characters they personally relate to.

i tend to sympathize most with the characters who have been through/currently going through the worst of it. (and obviously all the trauma is valid, but my brain tends to prioritize people in immediate crisis dependent on the crisis, which honestly i do feel we should normalize and apply on a global scale just for humanity's sake but i digress, generally this means it depends on the story and where it is in a given moment. but it doesn't mean my sympathy for the other characters has gone away.)

*you* *sypmathize* most with *ryan*, and i get that. that's valid, but it's also personal and subjective, not objective here. it's also subject to change depending on how ryan turns out i'm guessing...

but you're equating people with their actions when--those are two *separate* things.

UGH okay next ask--

That Billy and starlight getting along scene was rushed, like.....there was no build-up to it nor was is a slow burn. Also, starlight and Billy should've started throwing hands at each other or at least curse each other out. Truce my ass, people who hate each other in real life, do not get along all of a sudden, especially if someone they care about is hospitalized. Also, starlight should've chose violence when she and bitchy butcher met a 2nd time. If I saw the person who needlessly, shot my ass again, I would've started to curse their asses out and have them catch these hands.

... what the fuck, first off.

'getting along' is a stretch to describe what happened and this is kinda fucked anon (i will get to that cause you're making me worry)

things *were* tense when they met again, they were literally hurling insults at each other while hughie had to mediate. butcher literally called her 'chum' for shark infested waters, and starlight called him out on his bullshit bigotry with 'i know a guy just like that, he's got a flag for a cape'. hun, where the hell were you when they *were* literally silently seething and fighting *ON SCREEN*???

what *actually* happened was that they took a moment to *set their differences aside* because someone they *both* loved/cared for was in literal danger of *DYING*.

at that point, it didn't matter how *they* felt. hughie was in *crisis* so *HUGHIE*, NOT THEIR FEELINGS, became *priority*.

*after* the crisis was averted, they had a moment of playful banter about the person they just made sure was *safe* and would *survive*. the tension of the crisis was gone, and they could take a breath. that they happened to be around each other was just a fact of the matter. but *hughie* was still their priority and common ground.

so i guess you could say it's rushed, but the situation was rushed over all (of course it was, time crunch with a fuckin' crisis, hellooooo???) but what the hell were you expecting, for them to fight and argue in the *hospital* and potentially kill hughie with their stress and anger instead of letting him rest easy????????

what happened during those scenes is genuinely, a completely normal and very human reaction for people to have. prioritizing *crisis* over animosity. i.e. being normal ass rational people who don't let their hatred/anger take complete control over them.

annie (very obviously) is *not* one of those people and never has been.

for butcher, it *depends* on how he's feeling i guess, but there's clear implication that he leans on people *like hughie* or becca to *pull him back* from that place. in that moment, his worry for hughie outweighed his hate boner for supes. that happens sometimes.

and i gotta gotta gotta be clean with you on this hun, cause jesus fucking christ was this one loaded.

if you *genuinely* feel that *fighting* and *hatred* with someone you dislike should take *priority* over someone you both *love* fucking *DYING* right next to you?

you *NEED* to seek help, *anger management* (if you have the resources and i hope you do, sincerely)

from a *real* therapist, who can *actually* help you. (NOT ME)

or at least, idk, look up a couple videos maybe??

and listen, i'm not saying this to hurt you.

but i am getting strong STRONG bad *BAD* 'billy butcher'/'homelander' levels of toxic masculinity and irrational aggression from you here (not necessarily towards me i mean, just in general, dial it back, hun)

anger does not make you better, right, or stronger. anger *DOES NOT* solve problems.

*anger* makes you *stupid*, and going with the first knee-jerk angry response that pops into your head is a sign of *weakness*. it is an example of the *lack of impulse control* that many can and often do struggle with (society is fuuuuuuuucked...)

there are *healthy* outlets that can help you let off steam and cope productively, and i guarantee you it will lengthen your life and allow you to live happier the quicker it gets addressed!

shit, you can even try out something as simple as playing harvest moon--any of them! my darling friennnnn~<3 suggested it to me and whoopdi-fuckin'-do, it's actually *HELPING* me~!!

you seem to love to hate butcher and homelander (and i'll be fair, i do too! even if i love them just as much lmao) but i'm starting to get the vibe that it's more so because you see some major parts of *yourself* reflected in them.

it is *okay* to have fight in you. it is *okay* to feel angry. that's *natural*.

it is *not* okay to use that anger as a means to *only* be destructive, whether internally or externally. that is the whole point of what makes butcher and homelander wrong, but you are stuck and determined to commit the same error or see it committed by others, like ryan.

it's okay to have spunk and spirit, be a little assertive, live your life, enjoy yourself.

but giving into your anger at the drop of a hat?

i promise you (from fucking experience) it will only *RUIN* YOU and your life.

at the *very least*, learn to recognize the most obvious factor here.

you are not other people.

other people are not you.

just because *you* would have a certain reaction to something (or believe you would because we never really know until it happens to us), *does not* mean *others* would have the *same* reaction to the same thing.

*OTHER PEOPLE* reserve the right to their own thoughts, feelings, experiences and appropriate *reactions* to whatever the situation may be.

**and regardless of what those may be, they are no less or more valid than you or yours for it**

actually, if i'm being completely real here, choosing *violence* over civility is what *should* be frowned upon. but you are *literally* making a complaint about them choosing to be *civil* instead of violent.

what the fuck.

NEXT--

I think had Becca survived season 2 in it's entirety, Ryan would've grew to be a caring and generous person, but comes from a religious family, which might make him unpleasant at times. It's possible he would be raised with the concept of gender roles (I mean, it's possible that Becca didn't get an abortion is because she's religious, why else would that st. Nick necklace would imply that). Though, I could be reaching because we did see her gouge a nazi's eye out

wut?

WUT???

just... honestly wut?? not leik in a bad way. but WUT???

this one is weird. i do think you're reachin' here because *just* because someone is 'religious', doesn't mean they're anal and obnoxious about it.

case in point, *ANNIE*

she's religious (and still religious tho not as strongly/has obviously struggled but accepted the cross from her mom at the end of s2) but she's not a bible-thumper or puritan, and feels uncomfortable about those sects of religion.

you also seem to underestimate the *severe* penchant for violence many *many* religious people have.

do the crusades not ring a bell to you? the nazis cited religion as their justification for their actions more often than not.

but religion itself or being religious is not an inherently bad thing (i'm critical because of how it's used/what i personally went through because of it), overall, it's just a tool that many normal people just use to have hope or make their lives a little easier stomach.

it give the placebo effect, if you will.

it's in the same boat as money. money itself is called the 'root of all evil', but in reality, it's just a tool that holds no moral weight one way or another. (it's the *people* who are moral/immoral or use it in such ways)

morality itself is subjective depending on the time period and the values that society holds at a given time. humankind is still in the process of trying to reconcile and rationalize a globally acceptable form of morality that prioritizes humanity as a whole rather than one specific group, and it's been... not great? very slow going lmao but i digress.

religious *text* is a bit of a different story, most bibles/written stories are fuuuuuuuuuucked one way or the other. but again, then you're looking at who's a bible-thumper and who isn't.

i will say that if becca had survived, things would def probably be a lot better for ryan. but it would be a different tense situation with either them in hiding/trying to find a new safe place (i like to think they'd leave the country) or with her *in* the safe place raising ryan.

and either *begging* billy to come home (cause she always believes in him :((((((((((((((() from his revenge rampage, or billy being there and raising ryan--while seething because 'homelander'...

this is dark, but i get the feeling it would eventually lead to an altercation, either where billy leaves to go after homelander and the above happens, or billy murders the kid in front of becca/finds a way to sell him back to vought (like becca had said he would and both knew he'd try again) to supplement the bottled in rage that had been slowly chipping away at him...

leik. s3 alone gave a perfect example of a seething billy/what his violence withdrawal does to him. and that was with him *still* getting the little bits sprinkled in here and there so--

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

Ryan's life has consisted of nothing but hardships. He was isolated and sheltered from the outside world, living in a compound for a good majority of his childhood. He lost his rarely saw her real mother, and Grace served as his primary maternal figure afterwards. Got gaslighted by Billy because billy's connection to underages is too damn weak. Homelander, the only biological parent that he has left, sees him as an extension of himself, and treats Ryan more like a pawn than a son. Shitlander is going excessively control Ryan's life, manipulates, and gaslight him constantly when ryan displeases him. Spermdonor won't even view Ryan as his own person - to him, Ryan is a pawn that's his property to use in any way he wants, so he plays with Ryan's emotions to have the upper hand. Even though Spermdonor will treat him like dirt, Ryan will desperately try to please his deadbeat, and garner any sort of attention from him. If Ryan finally escapes the clutches of spermdonor and Billy to find others who will help him rather than hinder him, he'll be content and genuinely happy. Though, I wouldn't be surprised if his happiness is stripped violently from him when Homelander or billy take that away as punishment for ryan "betrayal". I wouldn't be surprised that down the line, Ryan snaps and becomes a hostile, hateful, bloodthirsty, and vengeful supe at the end of the series because Billy didn't bother to ask Marvin for help in terms of handling children and Homelander is a life ruiner.

some incoherency here, but i mean... that is history repeating itself??

baby, this one coulda been your own post. half time i ain't even really sure what you want me to say with these??? sometimes i feel like you're just throwing shit out to see if you can trigger me?? but that's the general paranoia talkin' (or at least i'd like to think i know myself well enough to say that)

but i gotta be honest, sometimes ya say stupid shit--(which fair enough, we all do at one point or another myself included~), but leik...

i hope this isn't too much to ask but...

maybe *think* before you *act*??

a lot of these read like impulse and like they're not thought out very well, but maybe if you took a moment/step back to make your own post/think about the thoughts you put into them, you could idk, make more sense of them i guess?? better organize it??

what do you mean with the first part??

ryan was in a compound, but he wasn't purely isolated/sheltered or in a lab. yeah, still not great (as no interaction with other children/general city life has given him some anxiety and that much is clear). but that can also happen when kids move from rural areas to cities in general. his real mother (becca) was also his *primary* caretaker, almost *always* with him unless she dropped him off at tutors/had to step away for a moment.

leik what's going on here, are you confusing baby homelander with ryan??? cause the baby they showed us in a lab and the kid getting experimented on was *young homelander*, NOT ryan.

but generally speaking, before homelander showed up, that kid was fuckin' happy, just livin' his life? that's what makes homelander's sudden appearance so fucking traumatic. the kid didn't really want or need saving at the time, but now he legit does.

homelander actually... sees ryan as an obligatory way to gain affection/love. you have to understand, homelander functions almost entirely on the belief that he is unloveable/people will abandon him/call him a monster/hate him/etc.

that's why he defaults on instilling fear to make them 'respect' him or *fear leaving his side* no matter how badly he mistreats them, that's clear enough when his relationship with stormfront starts and he threatens her for lying to him.

homelander has never had real family or love and is very desperate for both. he doesn't have a full understanding of it either. but ryan fits with the 'idea' of both. because blood family is 'supposed' to 'love unconditionally' and ryan is 'blood'.

on the flipside, ryan is very intelligent/quickly learning how to use his powers and what he can/can't get away with--due to who his father is. don't underestimate the kid, because homie is so stunted and ryan is still clearly very *special* to homelander (if for the wrong reasons), i think he can and will use that to his advantage.

ryan already hits all the tickers for *being* what homelander *wants* him to be, mostly by existing.

a boy

has powers

aaaaaaaaaaand that's pretty much the end of homie's list lol. and we can see at the end of s3 that *this* alone is *enough* for homelander to *actually* listen to and be manipulated by his son, not the other way around (ryan gets him to leave rather than killing billy)

you're under the impression that homelander will be a controling parent, and i think in some ways, he *could* be. but most of what we *have* seen is implying something *very* different will happen.

apart from the roof scene, he hasn't really mistreated ryan. he actually did really good with ryan's anxiety/has shown general patience but it's clear he's trying to gain ryan's trust/affection so i guess we could technically interpret this as the love bombing phase?? still, most of what we're shown was him mistreating *becca* or others, but not ryan specifically (he def does set some monumentally shitty examples tho)

either way, homelander *still* wants love and approval, *even* if and *especially* if it comes from *family*/his *son*. he's also a victim of grooming that still hasn't grown from the dependency that made him have on his abusers. believe it or not, that actually leaves him open/vulnerable to *ryan* being the one to control and manipulate him. granted ryan is a child. but 'he knows not what he's done/capable of' and all that jazz.

don't get me wrong, i do picture it's gonna be a fucked dynamic and homie will get 'controlling' to a degree. but don't think the kid is so damn helpless there.

we're more likely to see complete minilander spoiled brat ryan and full blast karen 'my kid can do no wrong/*HE* can do whatever the fuck he wants!' homelander than anything else.

ryan *may* try to desperately please homelander, but homelander *will* try to desperately please ryan. it's likely to create a very toxic and enabling 'we only have each other' dynamic because that is the point both have been driven to.

but again, history repeating itself

anywho~<3

The man who threw a can at Ryan back in season 3, is the same reason why people throw shit like rocks or just plainly spit at offsprings of tyrants.

i think it was a cup/soda?? but that's not really the point.

i'll be blunt here.

**the sins of the father are not the sins of the son**

just because people react like animals and blame innocent kids for what their parents do, doesn't make them right. i'd say it makes them dead wrong and very fucking stupid actually, because the kids *have no choice* of the family/blood they are born into, or even what they're initially taught to believe.

that man was a fucking moron. i won't say he deserved to die for something that didn't actually hurt ryan, they could have pressed charges for assault of a child on him and made a public spectacle of him and ruined his life (*that* would be rightly deserved)

but that was a *WILDLY* stupid thing of him to do, *knowing* homelander's powers, supposedly being a starlight supporter (which means he would believe homelander is evil) and *knowing* that this was his fucking *child*.

only the weak, childish, and stupid take aim at the innocent for the actions of a tyrant.

play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Not only Ryan looks the most like spermdonor and is said spermdonor's son, but a painful reminder of what happened to Becca. Billy is going to despise/resent Ryan more nonetheless. No thanks to Billy's weakass connection to kids either. Besides, Billy already started showing signs of deflection after season 3, episode 3.

billy's been a cunt from before the story began, where have you been lmao?

billy already resents ryan more so for what he is (a supe freak), but i would def say who he's related to probably doesn't help. still, despite it, ryan is also the last remnant of becca that he wants any connection to (since he's absolute dogshit to her other family but still mainly for his promise to her).

the thing is, ryan is still a useful tool/something to hold over homelander's head, and that, albeit fucked up, makes him worth something in billy's fucked up head. if he hadn't made the promise to becca, ryan would probably already be dead.

i do think he will look for excuses to give into his urges/hatred and break his promise to becca (as nearly the whole of s3 was~) if not use ryan as his trojan horse and be the first person infected with that virus and send him back to homelander--

ANYWHO--

next time this ask bug bites you, for the love of satan, take a moment to take a step back and gather your thoughts, and maybe make your own post/rant on your own blog for it instead of sending literal barrages of asks to people (idk if you do this to others or how many/often, but if they don't answer 'em there might be a reason for that.)

or at least compile it neatly enough into *ONE* (SINGULAR) minimally semi-coherent ask.

of course i care about the serious stuff and make psas, i don't even mind answering asks, even the crazy ones~ ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

but i do actually wanna have *fun* in fandom (leik C'MON i obsess over shitty men fucking/impregnating billy butcher!!), not be stressed out all the time or stuck on the hard topics trying to explain things to someone i don't even know is actually willing to listen.

leik i literally had to keep randomizing my queue because it was filled with so much negative shit at one point and *i* was overloaded just by looking at it.

i especially don't wanna be dealin' with fuckin' ableism and victim blaming in my ask box. that shit is rank, and i'm tired of it

get smart or just stop, my answers on that shit ain't gonna change.

but you can even post it private if you want. just

LET ME HAVE A FUCKIN' BREATHER--

preferably... 666 months~<3

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webspinning · 9 months

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SORRY I KKEEP SENDING SO MANY OF THESE >

but how could I not ,,

1, 3, 7, 13, 17, 20, 25 damselfly, six, valiant, saratoga

also obviously you don't have to do all of these,,, there's a lot

don't apologise i legitimately have so much fun answering all of these!! this is my natural environment i am thriving on all the enrichment

1. Damselfly - Bold of you to assume he's ever tried to save anyone. Six - If his experiments count, them. He really does try to keep them alive, but they always die in the end. Valiant - Their maskfly friend, one of the only friends they ever had. Unfortunately it got injured and Val couldn't save it. They still miss it. Saratoga - She's selfish and wouldn't think of saving anyone other than herself. And never has.

3. Damselfly - She lives on unnecessary suffering, and will sometimes prolong her victim's if she can. Six - Yeah :C he doesn't enjoy seeing bugs suffer, unless he's really deep in his mind at the time and thinking about Elegance. She's probably the only person he genuinely wants to see in pain. Valiant - It's here to kill, not to torture. Though it did sometimes get an uncomfortable thrill at the sight of it in general. Saratoga - She likes seeing it ! It's not something she actively seeks out, but she kind of enjoys seeing others in pain, preferably physical. 7. Damselfly - High pain tolerance, they can take a lot of surface level wounds and keep going fine. Big wounds slow them down but the only time they'd get those is while in battle, so it's never been a problem since they can usually heal fast. Six - Low, he's a little bitch. He will cry over paper cuts and generally whines about injuries for hours if not days afterwards as well. Valiant - Medium, depends on where it's localised, at what time in their life, and what kind of wound. Younger Val has a lower pain tolerance but once they're older they just kind of stop caring [and by then have also suffered so many wounds - had an arm torn off, wings shredded, literally died - that anything else can't even compare. Saratoga - It's that of an average person. He will cry but won't complain about it, he works in a kitchen on a ship so burns and cuts are pretty common and he's gotten used to small injuries. [And probably burn a lot of the nerves in his hands off honestly.] 13. Damselfly - Hot shit and she knows it !!! High self esteem, she's very proud of herself even though someone else built her body. Considers herself very pretty / good-looking. Six - He'd rather be a vessel. Hates the fact that he's a mantis because it means he's like Elegance, and he resembles her a lot too. It's at a point where he avoids looking in mirrors because of it. Self esteem is...bad. Probably? Valiant - Its entire life is based on proving its worth because it doesn't think it's good enough for PK. Needless to say it is, er, not great. Body image has never been an issue - Val's own appearance is something it's thought about like, five times in its entire life - but mentally? So low. So, so low. Saratoga - Thinks very highly of himself! He's considered an unusual dragon because of his hybrid status, and a pretty one at that. Not the highest self esteem, but you wouldn't tell that by looking at him. 17. [doing little regrets is hard for these guys they've all done things they regret majorly] Damselfly - Passing up chances, it skips out on things a lot and then regrets it later. Six - Caffiene addiction. Valiant - They regret the dramatic teen era. Saratoga - Not learning to swim well. 20. Damselfly - They've never had friends they don't have abandonment issues. Yet. Not codependent :) Six - No for the first one, yes for the second. Elegance literally threw him out- his abandonment issues are so major. Valiant - Kind of codepent with Aoide, yeah. They try not to be, but both of them rely on each other so much. All vessels have abandonment issues, it's just fact. Its are huge though. Saratoga - No :) Weirdly she's pretty healthy relationships-wise, avoiding the fact that she drowned her previous partner. 25. Damselfly - No teeth, but they love ripping other denizens of Hell to shreds. Hands, claws, tail, whatever they can use. Six - He's wanted to a few times, but never actually done it. He has dissected people with his bare claws though! Not medical protocol, but well, who's gonna tell :) Valiant - They didn't always have a sword, now did they? And sometimes it needs a little extra help with things [yes, yes they have] Saratoga - Probably, little girl has done some extremely questionable things in his life. You won't ever get the story out of him though.

#heheheh i love ! this so much !!!#oc; six #oc; damselfly #oc; valiant #oc; saratoga #mentioned >#oc; elegance #oc; rosa #oc ask games

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kayliemusing · 1 year

Text

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? - Yes

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? - my cat, archer 03: Do you regret anything? - Oh, so much. Mostly I regret how I've reacted to certain things/people, choices I've made, things I've said or didn't say. 04: Are you insecure? - A complicated answer. Right now, I'm very insecure or I guess I'm just having a hard time identifying who I am, but I think intrinsically I'm not an insecure person. It's a hard thing for me to rationalize. 05: What is your relationship status? - single 06: How do you want to die? - In my sleep, unknowingly 07: What did you last eat? - Donuts 08: Played any sports? - No 09: Do you bite your nails? - Yes, oops 10: When was your last physical fight? - I've never been in a physical fight 11: Do you like someone? - No 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? - I don't think so. Also, that's bad for you 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? - Yes 14: Do you miss someone? - Alwayssss 15: Have any pets? - Yes, my fat Siamese baby, Archer 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? - Full, tired, chronically sad/overwhelmed lately 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? - No 18: Are you scared of spiders? - Yes, and I don't trust people who aren't 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? - Yes 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? - I've never "snogged" anyone

21: What are your plans for this weekend? - Working :( 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? - Maybe, but I'm legitimately terrified to give birth so idk. Maybe 1-3. 23: Do you have piercings? - Currently, no. I used to have my ears pierced but the holes grew over but I want them again. 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? - English and Health 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? - I miss so many people from my past 26: What are you craving right now? - I still want to eat sugary snacks but I'm too full :/ 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? - I think so, my bad 28: Have you ever been cheated on? - No 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? - Never been in a relationship 30: What’s irritating you right now? - Nothing really, I'm just super tired 31: Does somebody love you? - Not romantically, but at least I got my mom lmao 32: What is your favourite color? - Red 33: Do you have trust issues? - A little bit. More so, I have ~control~ issues 34: Who/what was your last dream about? - I can't remember exactly what happened, but I was trying to hide something from my coworkers lmao 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? - My mom 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? - Yes and no. Depends on the person and circumstance 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? - Forgive, but even that feels impossible sometimes, but I don't really believe you can forget things that hurt you/don't believe you can forget something you haven't forgiven 38: Is this year the best year of your life? - No omg. This year has been terrible so far. 2013 is still the WORST year of my life, but this is in the top 3 worst years of my life lmao 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? - I haven't had my first kiss yet (and I'm not getting into it) 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? - No, I'm not a barbarian 51: Favourite food? - Cheesecake 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? - No 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? - Read 54: Is cheating ever okay? - No 55: Are you mean? - No 56: How many people have you fist fought? - Zero 57: Do you believe in true love? - Yes 58: Favourite weather? - Rainy fall day or sunny, Luke-warm day 59: Do you like the snow? - Yes and no. Complicated answer because I'm Canadian. I always find the snow absolutely so beautiful and I love the first snowfall, but once it gets to January where it's brutally cold, and you have to shovel SO MUCH SNOW then I hate it. Also driving in it isn't fun. So I like it on MY terms 60: Do you wanna get married? - Yes, but I have this thing where I don't want to let go of the past and my childhood and I feel like if I get married then I'll be forced to realize that that part of my life really is over and it's just super weird and complicated. 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? - I don't know yet. I've never had anyone call me that. I don't know how I feel about pet names like that. Sometimes it's cute, other times I find it corny 62: What makes you happy? - Jesus and Taylor Swift 63: Would you change your name? - Yes because I feel like my name sounds childish/isn't professional enough 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? - Never been kissed, again 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? - Either I don't acknowledge it OR they tell me and I friend zone them OR I date them and we have a friends-to-lovers love affair 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? - No 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? - I don't remember. Probably a client at work lmao 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? - My mom

69: Do you believe in soulmates? - Yes and no. I think there's someone we can deeply connect to that it feels like soulmates, but I don't think we have just one person. I also feel like soulmates can be friendships too. 70: Is there anyone you would die for? - My mom bc I love her

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ravenadottir · 2 years

Note

How would the LIs act when sick, and how would they react to a sick MC?

whining (needs to be babied)

bobby

i mean... it's not even a question! plus, he might be extra cute for some cuddling and some food.

as a carer: the same way he likes being pampered, he pampers her. bakes so much stuff and makes so much food she needs to ask him to stop. "i can't eat all that!" "not with that attitude you can't!". stays with her all the time. "i'm taking a day off to take care of you." "you don't have to." "i thought you would say that."

gary

same as bobby, but he does it playfully. there's so much of "but, but, i can't reach it..." with a pout and a guy that size it's kind of funny to picture him all cozied up in a blanket while whining. as for taking care of her, there's this: "i called my nan, she gave me this recipe and mate! mate! i remember back in school when she used to make this, you'll see, you'll be strong as a bull in no time!" and proceeds to destroy the kitchen in the process.

"i'm fine" (pretends not to feel anything)

kassam:

nothing ticks him off like getting sick, especially when he can't handle things alone. depending on someone is the worst thing he can think of and he hates having to ask things from someone else.

as a carer: often makes and does things for her but doesn't hover. he hates when someone does that to him, so he avoids being intensely present.

lucas

very similar to kassam, to the point he gets dressed, searching keys, wallet, only to realize she hid them. "i already called and let them know you're sick. you're not leaving this place today, love." to which he can't respond because he's probably too sick to do it.

as a carer: doesn't leave her alone, and how dare she say the same thing he did when he was sick?? "you're not gonna pull that one on me, it's clear you can't move, so lie down and i'll be right back." as he glares on his way out.

carl

nothing can make him stop working and how dare she trying to help??

as a carer: listen, he's not the most sensitive person so like... let him know exactly what you need. and remind him every time you can, because he will forget! also, nag on him about his phone because even though he stayed home to take care of you... he's still secretly working.

normally ("yes, i'm sick, but i can still do stuff")

noah

he hates being babied. the type that does everything around the house when on a sick day and has to hear her go off about it because "you're supposed to be resting, noah!"

as a carer: please, he can't stop himself. "you need to eat. you need to hydrate. are you comfortable? are you cold? are you hot? do you want help to get up? do you need help to lie down? do you want anything from the kitchen/living room/office?" he doesn't stop and i find that endearing (but slightly annoying). she has to say something, otherwise he won't stop.

henrik

rarely gets sick but when he does he immediately goes to the kitchen to cook up a cure. and while resting he truly does nothing but that, or maybe tries to distract himself with a game on his phone.

as a carer: so careful and legitimately staying close, cooking, arranging things for her to do and be distracted, possibly going out to buy new games for them to play together.

#litg #love island the game #litg s2 #litg season 2 #litg bobby #litg carl #litg gary #litg henrik #litg ibrahim #litg kassam #litg lucas #litg noah #queue #li's x sickness

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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I kinda wonder, what could bakugou do (hori write bakugou to do) to make him less popular with the "anti" crowd. Like He was a horrid child no doubt and people who try to put blame on Deku or lessen the terrible shit bakugou did aren't great. But as we don't rly see it, we have to assume bakugous behaviour wasn't stopped, we only ever saw his mum "punishing" him when he was being rude after getting kiddnapped. Nothing will excuse what bakugou did, but he has stopped? He's overall a harsh person but he's not harrassing and bullying people anymore, specifically not deku, he's trying to attone for what he did to deku and has now apologised for it. His behaviour was never viewed as justified or good in the series, he's a scary figure in middle school, we're not meant to like his behaviour, so the series itself hasn't justified his actions.

As someone who relate to both bakugou and deku more than I'd like to admit (never told someone to jump tho, that's fucked lol) so I can 100% understand not liking or even hating bakugou but as someone who's not 15 anymore, looking back I also made a lot of really shitty decisions and like bakugou have tried to make up for it, and like deku I was 'friends' with people who hurt me.

Is there anything he can do for the "antis" to just dislike him rather that be "anti"?

(I'm very sorry if you've talked about this somewhere, you can just tell me to look for it if you have, I'll continue to look for your posts on the subject)

Hey there, anon! I think I’ve spoken about this only tangentially and/or in my main Bakugo meta, which is too big for anyone sane to read. So yeah, let’s chat here!

For me personally—and that’s all I can ever do: speak personally. I think it’s important to keep in mind that there is no single solution to please the “anti” crowd. Each fan will be looking for something slightly different in Bakugo’s character, much of which might contradict what a “stan” is currently enjoying. Given how charged a character he is, I'm not sure it's possible to get the entire fandom to like him—what I’m looking for hinges on having a different reading of the story than you seem to. Meaning, I think the series does justify his behavior. Not in any overt, super obvious way like having all the characters go, “Wow, Bakugo! I sure do love how you threaten people all the time. That’s super cool and heroic!” Things are rarely that straightforward. Rather, it’s in a more subtle, but consistent manner that paints a rather conclusive picture across hundreds of chapters.

Simply put, Bakugo is continually rewarded for his actions. Or, if not outright rewarded, his actions are ignored in a way that implies silent acceptance. Characters may not always like what he does... but they're willing to let it slide because Bakugo's heroism was always treated as a given, not something he had to earn and prove.

With the ever necessary disclaimer that I’m not fully caught up yet, here’s a list of some of the things that stood out to me in the first half of the series:

Bakugo’s bullying made him the most popular kid in school.

Bakugo’s bullying was ignored by/outright supported by the teachers.

Bakugo’s bullying did not hinder him from getting into U.A., one of the most prestigious hero schools around.

Despite acting horribly throughout his time at U.A. too, this behavior was continually ignored by the teachers and other authority figures around him.

Bakugo’s struggle to realize that other people aren’t “trash” doesn’t hurt his achievements in any way. He still gets top scores, still wins the tournament, etc.

Bakugo’s behavior gets him special attention from All Might, the greatest hero and Bakugo’s personal idol.

His behavior doesn’t make others dislike him in any manner that’s taken seriously. Everybody is still willing to not just put up with Bakugo, but—in time—start treating his behavior as a quirk (no pun intended lol) that they’re secretly fond of, rather than something he should legitimately be striving to change. Kirishima is the most overt example of this.

This is compounded by his behavior constantly being framed as humorous. Much like with Mineta’s perverted actions, characters might superficially go, “No, that’s bad!” but the story never demands any significant development because then we’d lose the “joke” of Bakugo screaming in rage at the slightest inconvenience, threatening to murder someone over nothing, constantly belittling everyone around him in a “funny” manner, etc. When fans talk about development of a manga character as archetypal and extreme as Bakugo, most don’t really want to see significant change to his base personality. Because then that would result in someone who doesn’t look like the “real” Bakugo: someone nicer, more even-tempered, more mature, etc. But for those of us who were never drawn to that personality in the first place, the continued acceptance of his rude, egotistical, and violent behavior is discomforting. The easiest comparison I can draw is between this and Bakugo’s mother slapping him. That slap is meant to be another “joke”—we see it constantly in shonen anime, something "humorous" you shouldn’t take too seriously because haha, it's just an overprotective mother—but many fans do take it seriously, using it as the basis for a whole “Bakugo was abused and this explains his behavior” reading. Well, I take the “joke” of Bakugo’s threats and insults seriously, especially in a story that starts with something like telling Izuku to jump off the roof. In the same way that many fans want others to treat Bakugo’s mother as a serious topic that has had a negative influence on his development, I want the series to take Bakugo’s everyday actions seriously as a negative influence on… well, everyone around him. But it doesn’t. His base personality is grudgingly adored.

The above two points are seen most overtly in Izuku, who never wavers in his respect for Bakugo despite how Bakugo treats him. Not just prior to U.A., but during their training too. Izuku, as the protagonist, is the emotional heart of this tale, so when he talks about how inspiring Bakugo is, it encourages the reader to see his behavior as inspiring too. Rather than, as said, something that needs to change. Izuku's continued friendship with Bakugo, his adoration of him, and his acceptance of the way he's treated has severely warped how the entire story sees Bakugo's actions. After all, if #pure Izuku can see the good in Bakugo, why can't everyone else? He must not be that bad after all.

I could get into detailed analyses of all the above—like how Bakugo was the one comforted after attacking Izuku outside the dorms at night and how the messed up relationship he has with Izuku is upheld as something to nurture; how the remedial courses he had to take were made to be rather silly, thereby undermining their supposed importance to his development; how Bakugo’s kidnapping had nothing to do with his flaws, but much of the fandom uses it as a way to dismiss any appropriate consequences because, “Hasn’t he suffered enough?” etc.—but in the interest of keeping this within a readable length, I’ll leave it at that. The point is that Bakugo has always been privileged when it comes to his behavior, resulting in others either outright praising it, ignoring it, or demanding that he change a miniscule bit, which always keeps him far below the standards of both his peers and the expectations of a hero. Everyone in 1-A must learn to be even better than the good people they already are... Bakugo needs to learn that other people aren't dirt at the bottom of his shoes. It's never been a particularly impressive development when pit against the rest of the class. All of which can make something like an apology feel pretty hollow. Yes, he’s apologized and I say with all seriousness that that’s great! But how does that apology stack up against 300+ chapters of content? As Bakugo’s words highlight, he's been a really awful person up "until now": he was consumed by Izuku being “miles ahead of [him],” he “looked down on [him]” because he didn’t have a quirk, he “didn’t want to recognize that,” he “hated that,” “grew distant,” “tried to beat you down,” “opposed you and tried to show my superiority over you,” and ends it all with, “it probably doesn’t mean anything telling you all this” before finally getting to the “I’m sorry.” This is basically a laundry list of how horrible a person Bakugo has been for the entire series, with an acknowledgement that this apology is coming really, really late. This is the moment where I could START to like Bakugo, depending on how he acts form here on out, but that pivotal moment arrived after six years of content and in the final arc of the story. It’s too late. Bakugo needed this kind of self-reflection and positive action 250+ chapters ago so he could (hopefully) grow into a better person across the story, not at the story's end. What we got instead is 322 chapters of him being a really horrible person, but the story going out of its way to excuse or even praise that behavior the majority of the time.

As a quick comparison to end on, I think what Bakugo needed was what Soo Jin got in True Beauty. You don’t need to have seen the drama to follow along. The tl;dr is that she has a lot of the core qualities of Bakugo: an all-consuming drive to win that was created due to abusive parents with high expectations, resulting in her bullying a peer to a pretty horrific extent. The difference between them is how the story frames their actions. When Soo Jin becomes the bully she loses everything. Rather than succeeding academically, her grades plummet, making it clear that this anxiety and self-doubt (things the fandom keeps insisting Bakugo is struggling with, but that rarely ever show up in the text) is actually impacting her day-to-day life. Her best friend drops her because she’s not going to support her choices. The boy she likes rejects her. She’s eventually forced to start over somewhere new - which importantly separates her from the girl she was bullying - and get some distance from her parents, resulting in the growth needed to become a healthier, happier, good person again. So when Soo Jin apologizes to the girl she hurt, it feels earned. The story continually recognized how horrific her actions were and put her into a place where she either had to change, or continue losing at everything else that was important to her. Bakugo? Bakugo doesn’t lose. Oh, he claims he does because he’s comparing himself to Izuku constantly, but that’s just him thinking in extremes. He still wins academically. Still wins many battles. Still wins at having friends. Still wins by maintaining the prestige of being a U.A. student. Still wins by getting All Might’s attention. Still wins by receiving Izuku’s respect and an agreement to maintain this rivalry that Bakugo is so obsessed with. Bakugo comes out well 99% of the time, he just thinks he's "lost" because he can't stand not being the absolute best.

For me, the story needed to have Bakugo face consequences for his behavior, not receive rewards and/or have others ignore it, and that revelation/apology needed to come way, way sooner. For me the issue is not a specific action that Horikoshi can have Bakugo do in the next chapter and them bam, I like him now. The problem is Bakugo’s entire concept, how he’s received by the entire cast, and his run across this entire series. "Entire" is the key word there. Which is why the “But he’s apologized. What more do you antis want?” reactions don’t sit well. What we wanted is a better written redemption arc across those 300+ chapters, not a single scene that’s meant to have us forget all the other problems inherent in the story. At this point it’s a far more complicated situation than, “Bakugo just needs to do X, Y, and Z and then we’re golden.” At the end of the day, Horikoshi failed to make me like him as a person and I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to change Bakugo enough to make him likable to me. Bakugo was never the sort of character I’d be inclined towards without a serious, nuanced redemption arc, but sadly, a core, crucial part of that redemption arc took six years to arrive. At this point there’s no way to change the problems in Bakugo’s writing for that huge chunk of the series and not enough time left in the series, it seems, to do the work we should have seen across the entire run. Honestly, idk if the Bakugo we'll get going forward is someone I can just dislike as opposed to being really uncomfortable with, but my money is on there being too little story left and too much investment in upholding Bakugo's base personality for that to happen. I could absolutely be proven wrong! But I think the problems are structural and needed to be better dealt with from page one, not hastily patched over in the final hour.

#BNHA #My Hero Academia #anti bakugo

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who-is-page · 3 years

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We sort of started this discussion at Chimeras' Othercon panel, but I wanted to keep it going so I figured I would send an ask. What do you think it would mean for our community to drop the focus on voluntary and involuntary identities? I agree that we fundamentally should, but a bunch of things immediately jump to mind.

Our community has spent years leaning heavily into the lines between voluntary and involuntary identities and taken special care to make massive distinctions between them, leaving little to no room for grey area. It's no bit surprise that alterhuman spaces have had actual, legitimate, longstanding issues of grilling and gatekeeping. Nonhumans with nuanced and complicated identities are forced to shove themselves into a box to fit into the community, and the ideas we have about certain identities needing to be involuntary are absolutely baked into many aspects of our community and its history.

At the same time, we have used this unjustified gatekeeping in part to protect the community from genuine threats and appropriation of our terminology. The way we have limited our concepts of who is allowed to identify in what ways is generally wrong and has no doubt harmed a subset of kin, but at the same time is understandable in the sense that it has a cause. Yes, this was an issue even before KFF, but KFF certainly don't make it easy to create space for genuine voluntary kin and other voluntary alterhumans.

How do we create the space for nuance and fluidity and complexity in these terms and identities after we have spent so long defensively creating rigid boundaries and restrictions regarding the ways people are allowed to identify? How do we address community gatekeeping while also protecting our community from the people who use our identities and terminology in bad faith?

I have a lot of ideas, but this is obviously a very complex topic that we can't just solve in a day. I was just curious to hear your thoughts, if you had any. Hopefully once our personal website is up one of our first essays will be about this issue. (Also, how is Page? /hj)

So I know we’ve been sitting on this ask for... -checks watch- ...almost two weeks now, but it’s genuinely because I just wasn’t sure how to answer it for a good long while, and I didn’t just want to throw out some haphazard, half-hearted answer to such important questions. So here’s our thoughts on the debacle.

Voluntary and involuntary is a focus I doubt we’ll ever see any of the alterhuman communities permanently drop, for several reasons.

The first and foremost being that, by the definition of the term “alterhuman,” defined here as “a subjective identity which is beyond the scope of what is traditionally considered ‘being human’,” both experiences at their most extremes technically fall underneath the label, rendering the distinction (to some) vitally important to helping understand and define their identity/identity labels. The difference between KFF as an alterhuman identity and forms of otherkinity as an alterhuman identity, for instance, as you mention.

And then there’s the societal factors to consider. People like nice, neat little boxes: people like to be able to compartmentalize their communities, with no overlap, with no spillage, with no complications or grey areas or nuance. It’s a fact of life that people often instinctively want to water down labels and identities into more easily digestible formations, though there are arguments around why people precisely do it. And, as you point out, that often means alterhumans and nonhumans with more complex or nuanced identities typically get shoved into one box or another that they may not perfectly fit into.

When we zero in on specifically the otherkin community, this becomes even more complicated given the community’s rife history: abusive p-shifter groups, the appropriation of language by roleplayers and fiction writers, zoophiles attempting to forcibly associate otherkinity with pro-bestiality movements, and the blatant general misinformation spread by laymen and academics alike, just to name a few relevant problems the community has faced and continues to face. The community is stubborn to a fault, largely because it’s had to be in order to survive. It holds to its preconceived notions and rigid boundaries like a dog with toy aggression to their favorite plush stegosaurus. Fittingly so, really.

So how do we take that stubbornness and change it to be more inclusive to our own? How could we, while still surviving all that onslaught and more? That’s the big question.

In regards to the larger alterhuman community, we’re blessed in the fact that it’s still such a young concept: it hasn’t quite yet had to face the “pathological anger” Religious Studies professor Joseph Laycock has described otherkin as bearing the brunt of. It’s still a community figuring itself out, with much of the anger you find related to it aimed at specific subsets of community within it, rather than at alterhumanity as a whole. And I think the fact that the alterhuman community is still metaphorically air-drying on a table means we have the opportunity to prevent anti-nuance and anti-complexity attitudes from taking hold in it. How we do that is another battle in itself-- I feel like the encouragement of inclusive dialogue, of open discussion intermingled with considerate or civil attitudes, within alterhuman-marketed spaces is a good starting point. I also think that the encouragement and legitimization of “alterhuman” as its own standalone term would be a positive force, where it functions as a broad, diverse identity label in addition to being an overarching, joining umbrella label. A label where someone doesn’t have to give details away of their identity if they don’t feel comfortable doing so, or shove themself into a box they may or may not actually feel they fit into. Something functionally similar to how many people use “queer,” if you will.

But that still leaves aside the issue of identity and terminological misuse, I am aware. And that is...an abstract thing to ward against, at absolute best. I think that the defining of our own spaces not only through our words but also through our actions would perhaps be the best thing we could do, realistically. The cultivation of websites, of group projects--books, zines, comics, pictures, forums, anything!--, of community-led conventions and meet-ups and howls and gatherings. Things which foster and build a community identity of sorts is the best defense against those who would try and distort that which makes us, us.

Zooming back in on the otherkin community, these answers change slightly, because--going back to the clay metaphor--the otherkin community has already metaphorically been glazed and baked (in the fires of hell). That history is cemented, the ways people have wronged it and continue to try and wrong it is cemented, the assumptions and attitudes are cemented.

With the otherkin community, I think that the burden of changing minds and pervasive attitudes falls a bit more onto the shoulders of “community leadership,” because of how the community functions and values both community experience and articulation. There’s a reason we don’t have a term comparable to “greymuzzle” in any of the other alterhuman communities, after all-- it’s a well-known and often aggravating quirk of the otherkin community, to hold certain individuals in such high esteem and put them on a pedestal because of their longevity and the things they’ve done and said. I hate to say that they have to set an example, but in the otherkin community that really is one of the best ways to advocate for change, or to push against those gatekeeping and grilling attitudes--by those who are largely well-respected putting forward ideas that have previously been mocked or disavowed, pushing debates on their legitimacy into community consciousness until it eventually trickles into community normalcy and foundation.

(This is, as you can imagine, a double-edged sword depending on how it’s used. But that’s a discussion for another day.)

That’s not to say that the ideas of creation and creativity with the goal of cultivating an inclusive community identity, like I suggested for the alterhuman community, is inapplicable to the otherkin community: but the otherkin community already has a long-term community identity, so it’d moreso be creation and creativity for the sake of formative inclusion. “History is always written by the winners” is a very, very literal phrase in its application to the otherkin community. Our community memory, for lack of a better way to put it, sucks from individual-to-individual. The future of the otherkin community, its eventual-history, is determined by its historians and creators of today: day-to-day arguments and discussions, unless deemed historically relevant by one archivist or another, disappear to the sands of time, and much more long-term recordings such as essays, websites, comics, etc., often go far beyond just its creators hands and get passed around and down for years, potentially. If you want a more nuanced and inclusive community, you have to dig up the clay for it, shovel by shovel, and bake it yourself, brick by brick, and eventually, with luck, or enough backing prestige, or just because those bricks are so astoundingly solid people can’t resist taking some to build their own foundations to nonhumanity, things will change. It will take time above all else, but once it’s there it will be impossible to remove, because people will just assume those bricks have always been there given enough years.

But those are just some of my thoughts and opinions on it. It’s an issue with so many layers of complexity to it, that there’s really no perfect answer out there that I can offer, and I know even what I’ve shared here has its flaws and drawbacks. I’m sure plenty of my followers also have additional thoughts on the subject, and I’d love to hear from other people what they think in the replies and reblogs.

(Also, Page is a very tired boi.)

#long post #otherkin #alterhuman

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docholligay · 3 years

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Clueless non-cooking American-raised answer: what even is a pot roast? Like, it's a phrase I saw in books sometimes, I think? But I don't really know what it means in terms of what it does to the meat and I have no idea if I've eaten it. (Basically this is me saying that I'm pretty sure plenty of your teenagers will have no idea.)

I need you to know, and I mean this in a very loving teasing sort of way, I legitimately laughed out loud at "What even is a pot roast?"

I'm using your ask to thank everyone for their VERY helpful comments, and yes, a lot of the appeal for me of doing the pot roast is that it's really easy, reasonably priced for a beef dish, but looks nice and the leftovers are FABULOUSLY reusable in a variety of ways, which for me is the big thing--I remember when I was experiencing food insecurity the thing I hated the MOST was eating leftovers for several days in a row, because it was cheaper to make a LOT of one thing. I think everyone who has experienced a rough go of things has certain things that remind them so powerfully of the experience that it sets them off in ways that are admittedly goofy, and mine is eating leftovers. HATE.

ANYWAY, pot roast! It's easy, sexy, and can be had very cheaply, especially if you manage to shop a sale!

POT ROAST

What you need is a cheap cut of meat--there's no "pot roast cut" but what you usually want to use are the tough cheap cuts that work really well for long cooking, so your rump roasts, your chuck roasts (usually what I buy), a 7 bone roast if you have a roaster big enough makes MARVELOUS pot roast and the bones make EXCEPTIONAL broth afterward. I used to recommend brisket, because brisket used to be cheap before every useless-ass barbecue dad decided that he wanted to be ~special and skilled~ but still just make MEAT instead of learning to cook pastry or something LIKE A LADY and so went and bought a Traeger to use to make subpar wastes of beef 3 times a year. SO brisket's expensive now.

Cheap cut of meat --no less than 3 pounds

beef broth (2 cups, save the other 2 cups for later in the week)

I can't tell the kids to use a heavy brown ale, but use a can of heavy brown ale. Alternatively, red wine is the classic choice, but I'm happiest with my brown ale.

Tomato paste (save the rest of the can for beef stroganoff later in the week)

seasoning: I'm going to have to figure out how to simplify, simplify for these kids without many resources, so I list these from contribute the most to contribute the least

- salt and pepper

-thyme

Worcestershire sauce

-bay leaf

-rosemary

-of course you can fuck around with whatever it is you like!

Sliced onions

potatoes cut into big chunks (Yukon golds do best)

Carrots cut into big chunks

Mushrooms are also very good in this

about 2 tbsp butter and 4 tbsp flour(ish)

Equipment: a dutch oven or deep roaster, depending on what you have and the size of your roast.

1. Heat your oven to 325. Low and slow is the way we're going here. This doesn't take a ton of ACTIVE time, but it takes a lot of cooking time.

2. Put salt and pepper all over your roast. Lightly dust it with about half of your flour. (When I do this for the teens, I will explain WHY we're doing all this to help teach them techniques they can hopefully crossapply) Then toss your dutch oven or roaster on the stovetop, and throw some olive oil or canola oil or whatever the fuck you have in that bad boy. Sear on all sides, with a nice deep golden crust. Take it out of the pan and toss it on a plate for a minute.

3. Put your onions in the pan and saute them, remembering to give them a little salt. Deglazing time! Throw your can of ale (or cup of red wine if you're a traditionalist) into the pan, making sure to scrape up the bits of detritus on the bottom of the pan, that's where the good stuff is.

4. Toss the beef broth and all of your flavorings in the pot. Set the roast back in the pot.

5. Cover with the lid, or tin foil, depending on what you've got. Toss it in the oven for about an hour and forty five minutes. Play video games! Read a book! Do chores! Whatever! The great thing about this is that so much of the cook time doesn't involve you at all.

6. After the time has passed, put the root vegetables into the pan with the roast, making sure to nestle them around and get good braising action in the liquid. Cover it back up and put it back into the oven for ROUGHLY one and a half to two hours. The great thing about this is YOU DON'T USE A THERMOMETER. (another reason I picked it) You cook it until it's fork tender! That is, easily flakes with a fork.

7. Take it out of the pot when its done and shred it with forks, knives, your hands. Put you pot back on the stovetop, we're going to make gravy.

8. Make a thickening paste--take your butter and flour and mash it into a paste, and then add that to the pot, cooking for a few minutes to thicken (You can also use cornstarch to thicken, if you prefer. Remember cornstarch CANNOT be added straight to hot liquids, and has to be mixed with a bit of water first)

9. Serve! Put some meat and vegetables on a plate and cover with gravy. Some people choose to put all the meat back into the pot and coat with gravy before serving--I don't like to do that because I feel it limits my leftover options.

#oh wow you can do sub-bullets anymore #what a crock of shit #my AU bullet point posts probably make ZERO SENSE NOW

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merlinmyrddin · 3 years

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Hello!

Can you recommend me some very underatted gay movies? (I prefer comdey or happy ones if it's possible)

I recently came to realize i am a 23 man who happens to be gay. I don't know what took me so long.

Hello! I am sorry for the time it took me to answer you, but your ask has been playing constantly in my head now for weeks and I had to go down nostalgia lane film-wise...!

I'm also sorry for how long this answer is, I got carried away!!!

So first of all, I am damn proud if you. I know it sounds like empty words but whether you're 13, 23, or 45, being able to say you have found your inner truth is always something to be proud of! And what took you so long? It didn't. We are living in times where people want you to believe you are meant to have your sexuality and/or gender figured out by 18 when in reality, I know more people doing their coming out in their 20's/30's. Because when it comes to being gay, lesbian, bi, trans and queer : this last decade has seen some major changes. But it's ok for people born late 80's and 90's to come out "just" now. We grew up in a time where homosexuality was still taboo in most places. And when I say taboo, I mean that "homosexual" was barely pronounced, sometimes only whispered. A time where "gay panic" was a legitimate defense in court. (Talking from a Western European point of view here again. Many places in the world, including the USA still consider the murder of an homosexual or transgender victim as a legitimate act. And these last years has proven that there was not only the "gay/trans panic" crippling our streets, but also a "black panic" and more recently, an "Asian panic". Short aparte here : "gay panic" doesnt mean "omg, that person is making me question my identity!?" nor is it a term used when thirsty over an actor/actress when openly gay such as "[actor name] oh wow...*gay panic intensifies*... this term is a serious concept a murderer can use in court as a defense when taking the life of someone from the community. This is the law enabling hate crimes.)

To any younger people reading this right now : gay marriage has been legal in France since 2013, in the UK since 2014 and, allegedly, in the US since 2015. This is recent history. People who are mid-20's are historically closer to the HIV/AIDs crisis than of the legalisation of same-sex marriage.

As such, we are made to believe than coming out in our twenties or thirties is doing a late coming out. No, it's not. We are a generation who suffered through systemic homophobia in our formative teenage years. When we were trying to figure who we were, people were marching in the streets calling us names, and trying to defend the idea we did not deserve basic humans rights. (As a side note, I am not implying that such issues are not currently happening. This is mostly western European centred again as I am, well, European. This is also targeted towards sexuality orientations, excluding any gender talks as this is still currently a very real societal issue for which the fight has only just begun. Double side note : I'm not yet fully caffeinated. But hopefully you get the general idea despite my flagrant lack of eloquence on this fine morning.)

Alright, let's move on to films then!

I searched for a long time for happy / comedic films but then I realised I was definitly not the right person to answer that. On a general basis, I enjoy dramas. That's my thing.

So instead, I thought I would list you the first LGBTQ+ Films I ever watched, hoping they'll find you well.

-Stonewall (1995). Not my favourite film, but as a kid, it was great first jump into lgbtq+ history. Sad note : The director of this film died of AIDS shortly after.

-Another country (1984) Based in the 1930's in a public school. Starring Rupert Everett (who just a few years ago came to direct "The Happy Prince", a great take on Oscar Wilde and Alfred Douglas, casting himself as Wilde, and Colin Morgan as Bosie...fantastic film, highly recommand), and starring Colin Firth. Teenagers discovering themselves, from homosexuality to politics. (The parralele made is quite interesting as both young men are misfits...one for being gay, one for being Marxist.) Great watch, but a heavy one.

-Maurice. (1987) God, I love this film. It explores not only coming to term with your sexuality but also what it means to be homosexual for the people around you and the impact it can have on your life, depending on your social background. Starring James Wilby, Hugh Grant and Rupert Graves, this is an other drama which leaves you feeling almost raw. I always had an affinity for British film because of how...real they feel. Best example would probably be Danny Boyle himself. You know what I mean... you grow attached and you feel for these characters. And Maurice does just that. Memorable quote : I am an unspeakable of the Oscar Wilde sort. (And you might think : "Oscar Wilde? Again??" And oh boy, yes. Oscar Wilde again. Yes, he is one of the most well known author, mostly because of The Picture of Dorian Gray, but he is also a major part of Queer history. After all, "queer" has been used as a derogatory term for homosexuals for the time...directed at Wilde during his trial for posing as a somdomite. (No typo there.) Being an unspeakable of the Oscar Wilde sort is an other one of the euphemism like "being a friend of Dorothy") And talking about Wilde...

-Wilde (1997). Biopic, Stephen Fry as Oscar, Jude law as Oscar's lover : Bosie. Incredible. Superb film. I can not find words.

-An Englishman in New-York (not the Sting song. Actually yes, kinda the Sting song. Because both the film and the song are about the same man : Quentin Crisp). Biopic. An artist, writer, actor, Quentin Crisp has always bothered. Painting his nails, wearing make up, criticising the royal family. He was a character. John hurt is magnificent as Crisp, who he had already played in 1975 in The Naked Civil Servant, an other great watch.

- A Single Man (2009). With Nicholas Hoult and Colin Firth. This film was a slap in my face. And it has, in my opinion, one of the greatest speech of all time, during a scene in the classroom :

"[...]Let's leave the Jews out of this just for a moment. Let's think of another minority. One that... One that can go unnoticed if it needs to. There are all sorts of minorities, blondes for example... Or people with freckles. But a minority is only thought of as one when it constitutes some kind of threat to the majority. A real threat or an imagined one. And therein lies the fear. If the minority is somehow invisible, then the fear is much greater. That fear is why the minority is persecuted. So, you see there always is a cause. The cause is fear. Minorities are just people. People like us."

-Pride (2014). [TRAILER] Bloody hell, that film. When we talk about lgbtq+ history, we often thing about the pink triangle and the holocaust, Reagan, Stonewall, AIDS and... fucking Maggie. Margaret Thatcher, the Iron Lady. Again, funny how the past is closer than we think, as I still have friends of mine talking to me about that period in British history that they lived through. The minors strike. The poverty, the crisis of the working class and the HIV crisis. But if you are looking for a film full of hope, from tears to laughter, this is the one. Bread and Roses. Bread, and Roses. And a message, which I believe is the essence of our community to this day : solidarity forever. After all...there is power in a union.

If anybody has other films to add, you are more than welcome to do so.

Love you all xx

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