#yes hello this is free suffering

[harpywitharobot]

Once upon a time

[thebluestbluewords]

S’more gimme s’more

A dishrag goes flying past Mal’s head.

It’s not a bad throw. 

“You’re so annoying,” Mal laughs, snagging it out of the air before it can hit the floor.

She’s not annoyed, not really. Not when she’s got Jay beside her. She feels almost giddy with now not-annoyed she is. They’re really here, in a house that nobody can take away from them, that Evie bought for them to live in together, and they’re been invited to a party. Actually invited, as wanted guests. Not just as tag-along plus ones or the begrudgingly accepted party crashers that they were back home. She can’t be annoyed when she’s all hyped up on the feeling of being wanted. “I should start toasting all the shit you throw at me.” 

Jay throws a plastic spoon at her from across the kitchen. “Ayy, you should. I’ll start throwing marshmallows. Get some s’mores in here.” 

“You wouldn’t.” 

Jay’s eyes go bright in the way that means he wants to smile, but also wants to hide it. “Bet.” 

There’s—oh no, this was a mistake, there’s a bag of marshmallows out on the counter, leftover from the fire they’d made last night, slowly going stale in the bottom of their sticky plastic bag. 

Mal could lunge for the bag, but Jay is taller and faster and starts moving first. 

The first marshmallow hits Mal’s shoulder in a sticky puff of sugar. 

“No, Jay— Jay!” Mal squeals, throwing her hands up in front of her face. “Stop it!” 

“Make me, killer.” 

“Oh, I’ll make you stop.” 

Jay grins, hand already cocked back with another marshmallow ready to fly. “Do it.” 

“I will!” Mal says, grinning back despite herself. She’s too happy to hold on to any real annoyance. “I’ll toast you and the marshmallow, and you’ll have to go to the party with your eyebrows burnt off, and everyone’s going to think you’re repeating chemistry again.” 

“Dude, it’s way too late in the year for that. I’m telling everyone you did it.”

“And I am a proper lady now, and I would never stoop so low as to pull some horrible prank and burn my dear friend’s eyebrows off.” Mal says, grinning. She’s already burned her own eyebrows off once, and the only reason they’re not still crispy is because she found a counter-spell before anyone saw. “It’s slander. You could be hanged for saying something like that about a lady of Auradon.” 

“Yeah, who’re you fooling with that one? Face it, killer. You’re not scaring anybody.” 

Mal opens her mouth just the tiniest bit, and lets the flames she’s been slowly building up with her magic lick their way out. 

“I’ll see what Jane thinks of your blasphemy tomorrow,” she says, teasing just the slightest bit of the fire in her voice. “She’s still scared of me, you know. She thinks we’re just the most wicked, awful people ever.” 

“And that’s why we’re invited to her party?” 

“Shut up. Let me have this.” 

“Sure. You’re awful and scary and horrible, and if I don’t stop throwing marshmallows at you, you’ll what, burn me to a crisp?” 

“Something like that,” Mal manages, but between the fire she’s keeping in her mouth and the way Jay is backing her into the counter, it comes out breathier than she intended. “I mean, I’m the hot one, right?” 

Jay laughs. “I’m the hot one, baby dragon. Evie’s the smart one, C’s the nerdy one, and you’re the dangerous one.” 

Mal tips her chin up to meet his eyes. Stupid boys, growing taller than her. It shouldn’t be such a delight to know that he’s taller now because he’s off the isle, and Auradon has given them all the chance to grow. “You think I’m hot.” 

Jay grins. “I think you’re dangerous.” 

“I think you should stop backing me against the counter and let me get up on it again.” 

Jay moves back a barely-preceptable half of a step, just enough for Mal to get her hands on the counter behind her and use her arms and core to pull herself up to sit on the edge. It’s been hot outside, but here in the kitchen the cold stone of the counter is smooth and shockingly chilly against the bare backs of her thighs. The little lavender tennis skirt Evie told her to wear today is cute, but it’s too short to protect her from the chill. It’s so sort she’s practically exposed already, just sitting up here like this. 

Maybe that’s the point. 

Jay leans forward again, now that Mal is safely on her perch. “You need the high ground to feel strong?” he asks her, teasing. “Little baby dragon wants to feel tall again?” 

“As if,” Mal scoffs. As if she is a dragon, and she could fly anywhere in the world if she wanted to, and it’s just a coincidence that she’s still here in the kitchen. “I just like the view from up here.” 

Jay is so close, and so warm, and so very inside her personal space. “The view, huh?” 

“And maybe the leverage,” Mal admits. From up here she’s able to cup Jay’s face between her palms, her thumbs on the sharp planes of his cheekbones and the heels of her hands at the edge of his jaw. She’s not wearing gloves right now, and the warmth of his bare skin against her own is startling. “You wanna do something about it?” 

Jay leans in, crowding her further against the counter until he’s pressed right into the hollow between her legs, where she’s hot and getting hotter, and plants his hands firmly, one on the counter and one on the curve of Mal’s hip. “I wouldn’t want to disturb the dragon.” 

[cellarspider]

Shout-out especially to outsider characters that present things in a new light. Sometimes a different point of view on your pain is what you need to get a breakthrough.

not to go all cringe on main but fictional characters have genuinely helped me through some of the worst shit in my life n i’ll forever be grateful to fiction for giving me comfort when i’ve needed it most

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

sebek and the love of literature

HELLO, HI... PLEASE READ MY SEBEK ANALYSES, I BEG... HE IS A VERY GOOD BOY THAT IS DESERVING OF YOUR LOVE, I SWEAR HE IS... OTL

[ Sebek and internalized racism / Sebek and his place in the Diasomnia found family / Sebek and his capacity to love ]

YES... It is I, here with yet another Sebek-related ramble. Make yourself comfortable :)) *straps you into a seat and tapes your eyeballs open*

***SPOILERS for the book 7 part 12 (Heartslabyul - Deuce and Cater) update!!***

Okay, SO.

We already know that one of Sebek's hobbies is reading, as is stated in his official in-game profile:

... BUT I DON'T THINK YOU TRULY REALIZE HOW DEEP THIS READING HOBBY GOES. He has several voice lines declaring his love of books and reading. Several of Sebek's peers, including Yuu, Azul, and Jack, gift him books for his birthday. In his free time, Sebek chooses to read books on a variety of topics, including romantic tragedies and textbooks. He doesn't just read the book and then move onto the next thing either; other characters may joke that the only time he is quiet is when he is reading, but Sebek seriously absorbs the information he takes in and reflects on it. He thinks about what happened to the characters, what the lesson of the story is, what the author's intent might have been (in his Nightmare Suit vignettes). He wants to apply the techniques he reads about in books to real life, such as picking up new skills like badminton. This makes sense, as Sebek is the kind of person who is always striving to improve himself so that he may better serve his liege. Sebek is not a selfish reader. He loves books + picking up new knowledge and actively tries to share that with his loved ones. For example, Sebek has voice lines where he asks the player to share book recommendations so that he may read them tonight (aka basically as soon as possible). When we express confusion between dragons and longs, Sebek offers to visit the library with the player to show them "books suitable for beginners". (That of itself also indicates mindfulness towards people having different levels of proficiency at reading.) He is also shown being eager to fetch books for Silver from a higher shelf--though this is in part because Sebek loves to show off that he is taller--and directs Malleus to a book fair in Foothill Town so that his liege may find new interesting reads. According to Sebek, "It was [his] grandfather who taught [him] the joys of reading." Indeed, Baur has read to Sebek and told him (oral) stories since his grandson was a baby. He has continuously gifted Sebek book too, all of which Sebek has kept with him. It is implied that Baur thinks receiving a proper education is important, and even though he has complicated feelings about his one and only child marrying a mere human, he still wanted his grandchildren to be well-educated. Baur always made efforts to read and share stories with Sebek to that end. In book 7, this all comes full circle when Silver is wallowing in despair and Sebek talks some sense into him:

"If [Lilia] hated you, he didn't have to give or teach you anything. He could've just raised you into a dimwitted coward and made you a servant. But he didn't [...] Even trapped in the darkest despair, you kept on fighting! Who raised you to be so strong? LILIA DID! Why don't you see? Why do you doubt? You should have understood years ago! What can you call your strength, if not the direct result of Lilia's love?!"

From this dialogue, we can draw direct parallels with how Baur raised Sebek. In this analogy, Baur = Lilia and Sebek = Silver. Both Baur and Lilia initially have a disdain for humans, have served as soldiers in the royal guard, and have personally suffered due to humans invading their country and pillaging it for resources. Then they are also both forced into circumstances where they have a human child thrust upon them and they have to take some responsibility for said child. Despite that, Baur and Lilia were able to overcome their own prejudices and truly learn to love Sebek and Silver, respectively. Sebek is always in a rush to be better for others. Silver is always worried that he'll never be "enough" for the father that did so much for him. But the difference is that Sebek knows his grandfather loves him because Baur gifted him with knowledge--which is a strength and a power of its own. It's because Sebek is cognizant of Baur's love for him that he's the perfect candidate to call Silver out for being dense. Lilia DID teach Silver. Lilia DID value Silver getting an education. And because of that, Silver is strong. He is strong because of Lilia's love, just as Sebek is strong because of Baur's love and the knowledge that was granted to him. To Sebek, literature IS love. This is a core component of his character--and, additionally, it is a core component of how he understands, navigates, and communicates. (Please refer to the examples I gave in the earlier paragraphs!) Nowhere is this made clearer than at the end of Deuce's dream segment in book 7.

In the dream, Deuce gets into a brawl with some Octavinelle mob students in the NRC library. They chuck various books at each other during the fight, which deeply upsets Sebek. He falls to his knees (like, you can see his tall as fuck model lowering) to check on the books and laments at the damage they've taken.

What really sets Sebek off is when he happens to witness the contents of the thrown books. Simply put, a lot of information is missing. There are several blank pages, and what is there is riddled with errors or is written so crudely it's illegible. Literature, being desecrated in Sebek's presence? NOT ON HIS WATCH. He cannot hold himself back and lets it all out on Deuce, reprimanding his peer for wanting to be an honors student but not having the drive to properly absorb these materials (which, as you'll recall, is something Sebek takes very seriously himself).

Sebek has a very specific definition of what a "book" is. Simply having papers that are bound and have a cover is not a "book". Based on his anger, it seems he very much values the contents. He even alludes to the knowledge gained from reading as being a weapon Deuce can actually use in a fight (which, again, makes sense because of how Sebek often tries to apply what he learns from books to his own life) All of this shouting and scolding does lead to Deuce waking up, but I will be glossing over this part as this is an analysis focused on Sebek and not Deuce. However, there is something that I would like to discuss, and it happens after Deuce is fully awake. The two have a moment to bond over an anomaly of a book they found in the library—the only one that appears to have all its contents intact. It is “The Story of the Trump Soldier”, a famous children’s book from the Queendom. It has various short stories about the card soldiers (whom Deuce idolizes) that serve the Queen of Hearts.

Deuce tells us that, as a kid, he would beg his mom to read the book to him. When he got a little older and learned how to read himself, Deuce would read the book so many times that now it’s just stuck in his head. The fact that it was so perfectly reproduced in his dream is proof that the story holds great significance to him. SEBEK RECOGNIZES AND RESPECTS THAT. He doesn't insult Deuce or look down on him for reading what is "just a children's book". Instead, Sebek comments that something as simple as this can be what sparks one's love for reading. And do you know why Sebek says that... BECAUSE THIS IS PROBABLY TRUE OF HIMSELF 😭😭😭 It was Baur who got him books--probably including CHILDREN'S books--and read to him when he was small... so, as a result, Sebek understands how the mere exposure and finding that one book that hooks you can snowball into a real love for literature. It's not clear if Sebek himself is aware of this parallel since he kinda makes the remark off the cuff but BOY did I sure notice OTL

QEILRQEIYQEPPQEF AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN He suggests that Deuce try picking out a book sometime for his friends, something easy so that even Yuu and Grim can understand it. Sebek gives recommendations like this to Silver (one of the few humans he likes), who can never quite finish reading those books despite his best efforts... Sebek is advising that Deuce do this same thing 😭 THE THING HE DOES HIMSELF FOR A FRIEND, BECAUSE RECOMMENDING A BOOK IS ONE OF THE WAYS SEBEK SHOWS HE CARES.... . .. ..... . ..... . .... . . . . .. . .. .. At the end, Sebek even says that he will read "The Story of the Trump Soldier" when he's awake in the real world. THAT'S HIM ACKNOWLEDGING AND ACTING ON DEUCE'S BOOK RECOMMENDATION TO HIM... meaning that some small part of Sebek is coming to terms with Deuce as a companion... slowly opening up to the idea of having other friends... 🥺 The love for literature that Sebek got from Baur... is now being used as a means to bridge the great divide between Sebek and the peers he used to so brazenly snub and insult before...

If you look back at the voice lines for Deuce’s Birthday Jacket card, he says “Sebek gave me this reference book. He said he highly recommended it... Hey! This is CLEARLY for little kids! I can't believe that guy…” BUT DON’T YOU SEE???? With this context, you suddenly see it wasn’t meant as an insult. Sebek considered Deuce’s level of reading proficiency and purposefully picked out something that suited him. I have no doubt that Sebek actually puts a lot of thought into the books he recommends to others because—to him—to share literature is to tell someone “I love you, I care about you.” WEEEEEHEHHHHHHHH H HHHH H H H H H HH H H H H, IT ALL TIES TOGETHER SO WELL!!

[ohnogovno]

rings of power season 2 light spoilers. x reader fic ideas for the second season of rings of power, these are more concepts than fully fleshed out ideas, please feel free to use!

celebrimbor: you traveled with galadriel and halbrand in S1, you arrive at Eregion injured, celebrimbor is a good friend and is mortified to see you so injured, helps take care of you as the elvish rings are made (and after). also anything with fluff or him being affectionate. maybe you resided in Eregion for a long time before your travels with galadriel and celebrimbor was worried that he had missed his shot with you.

annatar: met you as halbrand, jealous of your closeness to celebrimbor in Eregion, tries to get your attention, maybe tells you stories of Valinor/ the Valar, etc. maybe when he “reveals himself” to you and celebrimbor he heals your wounds to even further prove he is who he says he is.

sauron: MORE YES HELLO, you were a fellow maiar who accompanied sauron on his journey with melkor/morgoth and escaped adar just in time to not be “killed” as sauron was long ago. you saw the light shoot into the sky and felt the ice grip the land, and you ran, knowing the uruk would be coming for you next (having at least equal blame for the uruks’ suffering). you ran across middle earth, moving from town to town before adars forces could find you. you end up in the final town that adar plunders before the numenorian forces arrive and you are reunited with your “king of the southlands”. halbrand thought adar had killed you long ago but this was a pleasant surprise, his queen was with him again. he takes you to eregion with galadriel and eventually reveals himself to celebrimbor, while you reveal yourself as another heavenly visitor.

adar: you were one of the first age elves taken by morgoth/melkor, before you were fully corrupted by morgoth or sauron, adar lets you go (or can’t bring himself to stop you from escaping). you spend time in lindon recovering, eventually travel with galadriel to help her look for sauron (while you look for adar). you reunite in the southlands before Mt. Doom erupts, he keeps you close to him in Mordor.

elrond: you and elrond were not so easily convinced to whole heartedly support the wearing of the elvish rings. he goes to you for comfort (when he was on the run or when he was back in Gil Galad’s trust). maybe he’s in Eregion when you come back injured from Mordor with halbrand and galadriel and he stays with you as you heal. maybe halbrand starts showing too much interest in you while in Eregion and elrond doesn’t like it one bit.

gil galad: (lord is this man tall, and all the close up’s on his hands are doing me no good) literally anything for gil galad. please.

nsfw ideas: you’ve taking a walk in the outskirts of the forest with one of the elves, you stumble upon a flower (s*x pollen).

[amourdivine]

𝐖𝐇𝐎'𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅? ઉ   PICK A CARD

Hello lovelies, I hope you're having a wonderful week! This is perhaps the first heavily shadow work focused PAC I bring to you. I'm quite nervous to post this, since I know delivering these messages can be difficult and I don't like taking a harsh, judgmental approach. I hope this reading resonates. As always, feedback is highly appreciated! If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com! xo ♡

paid readings are closed as of february 2024

none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise!

pick a card masterlist & information

how to choose your pile.  take a few deep breaths for and look at each and of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

୨୧ PILE ONE

who is your shadow self? eight of swords • knight of cups • nine of wands • queen of wands

Your shadow self is the fearful side of you attached to anxiety. The side of you that does not believe you can save yourself from bad situations and feels endlessly hopeless, helpless and trapped. It causes a self-fulfilling prophecy, one where you think you'll inevitably fail, so you self-sabotage (either consciously or not) and end up "proving" yourself right.

However, as helpless as your shadow feels, it never asks for help. It's trapped in a spiral of shame and self-doubt, even self-hatred. All of this happens mentally for most of you, to the point where your body is neglected or stuck in flight / freeze mode. I feel stuck in the gutter, unable to move in the sticky mud. Despite your best efforts to succeed, you may suffer from impostor's syndrome as well, an inability to see your worth, your beauty and your own light. It's almost as if you're scared of your own power, pile one. Very painful, very self-inflicted and something which you may have learn from childhood, maybe you got bullied a lot or were heavily criticized by the people around you. If that happened, I'm so sorry pile one. You deserved so much better. You still do.

how can you work with your shadow self? nine of cups • the sun • queen of swords • queen of wands

You know, when I was entering college, I had a counselor whose words were life changing to me. One day, he picked up a cup full of coffee and asked me: how do you get rid of the coffee, without throwing it out entirely? And I was puzzled. It wasn't possible. Him, in his neverending patience, took me to the water station and started pouring water onto it, until the coffee was cleared away and all that remained was clean, crystal liquid.

Maybe the bad things that happened still haunt you, but they can be drawn out by the good ones. Seek for the light, pile one. Seek the nurturing experiences, the days when you allow yourself to just be, seek the help, the love and stay open to the love. Stay open to the idea that yes, you are worthy, even if you do not feel like it, even if so many people have made you feel otherwise.

These wounds may not fade entirely with time, but you are more than them, always. Always. I know it's never easy to challenge what we've been taught about ourselves, but in order to unlearn all of that, you will have to learn the new things, the true things about you. If they said you were lazy - was that really true? Or were you just tired? You're not "naive", you're pure. You're not "too sensitive", you're in tune with your emotions.

The stories we tell ourselves hold power. What stories are you telling about yourself? Maybe it's time to switch to a new point of view, one where you can rewrite yourself as the person you were never allowed to be.

୨୧ PILE TWO

who is your shadow self? judgement • five of swords • ten of cups • king of wands

Your shadow self is the side of you that thrives in chaos - listen, that's not entirely a bad thing, after all, our shadow reflects something which we need to acknowledge, nurture and work with. However, when you perceive danger or feel threatened, you may turn to harsh words or hurtful actions to avenge yourself.

It can manifest in the form of extreme competitive behavior, the inability to rest, overworking, even maybe envy, jealousy and arrogance sometimes. Now, I'm not here to judge or shame you, you're safe here. I think you have and still feel the need to prove yourself to others, to prove them all wrong. Maybe other people told you that you couldn't do it - and you took it all personally, so personally that it crumbles your self-esteem when someone diminishes your efforts or accomplishments.

Your shadow side craves attention, praise and approval. You want to succeed, to be someone you're proud of, to just never feel insecure, diminished or ignored again. You can also turn possessive with loved ones, wondering if they really love you or if they are lying. There's a lot of skepticism here, too.

how can you work with your shadow self? judgement • ace of pentacles • three of pentacles • eight of swords

Acknowledge your feelings and these insecurities. "Fake it 'till you make it" doesn't always work. Being vulnerable is, ironically, also being strong. Understanding your limitations and allowing for other people to collaborate with you (and vice-versa) will take you even further in life.

Your sense of justice is commendable. Make sure you're using it for justice indeed, and not just vengeance. Your ambition can walk hand in hand with your desire to do good, to make space for everyone else to shine, to open up to others, let them see all of you. No one can love perfection - even if they could, what's there to love about something or someone so perfect that they barely feel human?

It's okay to be scared, to feel insecure, to not shove difficult emotions under the rug. We cannot be at our 100% all the time. And we cannot please everyone, all the time. What you can do is praise yourself, let others praise you when they do and accept it gracefully, making sure you're spreading your warmth and wisdom to others as well. See, I think you have overcome a lot and a lot of people could use your help, either in the form of advice, resources or a shoulder to lean on.

You have leadership potential, pile two. Don't limit yourself by being alone. We were never meant to make it on our own.

୨୧ PILE THREE

who is your shadow self? ace of wands • page of swords • three of cups • king of pentacles

Your shadow self is someone who may indulge in harmful habits out of a need for instant gratification, maybe reckless spending, speed driving, partying everyday or simply not saving up resources and caring about the future. Your shadow self is someone who hates boredom, who craves excitement and cannot fully deal with long-term commitment in its many forms. It wants novelty, adventure and it comes at the cost of your responsibilities, your routine and your friendships even.

This shadow self hates suffering (fair enough, who doesn't?!) and will to go great lengths to avoid it... but ironically, it causes you more pain in the long run by avoiding the unavoidable. By never crying, never addressing your issues or your difficult moments, you end up running right back into yourself and these same issues return.

This side of you doesn't want to grow up - you don't want to fall into the trap of routine and a boring, 9-5 job. But excessive habits are difficult to maintain, no matter how good it feels in the short term. There's a difficult, troubled perception of adulthood and life itself. A need for constant adventure and chaos, a feeling of entrapment whenever you are with anyone who loves you, because you fear being controlled, tamed and used.

how can you work with your shadow self? the tower • nine of wands • nine of cups • three of pentacles

To put it simply, let yourself hurt. Let the foundations of your heart crumble, stop to feel just for a second. You don't have to be on the run all the time. What are you running from, pile three? Disaster, pain and hurt are often inevitable, but they do not have to be the be-all, end-all of our lives. The Tower is a reminder that all that crumbles was meant to crumble eventually, and there is beauty in letting things end naturally, allowing the flow of life to do its thing.

That means aging, growing, learning from the seasons. I think you have a very, very deep heart and mind you're scared to tap into. You're scared to be trapped in the endless hustle, to never feel alive or good once you "settle". But who says the big joys are the only ones that matter? As someone said once, big joys and small joys are often the same. Sometimes, waking up in itself can be an adventure. Don't overlook or underestimate the ways life tries to find you, to cling to you - remember to embark on the hard journeys, knowing you'll have gotten something valuable in the end.

You're brave and rebellious. You can be a catalyst for change in so many ways. Who said adulthood has to be boring? Who said you have to work a 9-5? Do you have to get married? Maybe being a stay-at-home parent isn't for you. That's okay.

Challenging the status quo may not be easy, but you have a natural inclination for it. Your shadow self can dive deeper. It's one of your greatest tools. Your need for joy and fun is not shameful - you can use it for healing, instead of self-destruction.

୨୧ PILE FOUR

who is your shadow self? judgment rx • justice • the high priestess rx • knight of swords

Your shadow self is the side of you that refuses to acknowledge your needs, your wants and desires. It makes you live inside of a bubble, scared of the truth, even if it will set you free. I had the hardest time shuffling for this pile, I kept trying and trying but nothing made sense. I think this is how your shadow side manifests as well, in the lack of clarity, the fogginess that permeates the choices you've regretted.

It's both reckless and frozen, completely lost in a maze, confused, looking for a path, for directions, for anything. It's almost as if you lost your compass, nothing eventually guides you and you remain looking for the directions only you have.

It's too scared to admit what it wants, who you are. Both out of fear of what other people will say, but also out of fear that it'll all go wrong. It's the side of you that remains disconnected from yourself, hidden because it keeps highlighting the aspects you keep trying to ignore, to not know. It can manifest in a lot of ways, either through people-pleasing or being completely reckless. Through lying, denial or even isolation from the world, from life itself.

Something funny is that a song by Bad Suns that just started playing really relates to this pile. "Cinderella slips into a dream like a curse / you could mistake it for heaven at first." This shadow self may live in projection, daydreaming or simply keep you out of touch with everything.

how can you work with your shadow self? six of pentacles • page of wands • two of wands • king of cups

Engagement and socializing are big ways you can work with your shadow self. Being actively curious about the world, about people. Approaching relationships, truths and life itself with genuine interest, no judgement or shaming thoughts involved.

Telling yourself you're an eternal student of this world, because we are and remembering you don't have to know everything. Start scared. Most things, you'll have to do it scared. Unprepared. In the thick of it all, you'll find the answers you need, but only if you are willing to dive deep for them. No taking shortcuts, making assumptions or allowing self-doubt to paralyze your living, because you need to witness life as it is.

Therapy is one big thing, music as well. Anything that connects you to your deepest self, relationships that genuinely make room for who you are, good friends that feel safe and non-judgemental. Your heart has been calling you for so long, pile four. It's about time you listen to it. It knows everything you need to know.

disclaimer. tarot not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings. please remember you are responsible for life and in power of it, no one else! ♡

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

[aequitaes]

@sicsemper suffer my tag rambles. ✌🏻

The way Haikaveh/Kavetham is written in a way that makes both of them have their individual characters while also being an integral part in each other's lives. Both of them have their own beliefs and ideology. They both have different things they work on, Alhaitham being this avid researcher and Kaveh being this idealistic artist. Their characters don't necessarily revolve around each other all the time, but there is no doubt that they are both very important people to each other. Kaveh is the exception to Alhaitham, and Alhaitham grounds Kaveh. They each complete the other while the other completes them. So even though they're their own people, you can't separate the influence they have on each other.

[alientee]

Alastor x Jessica Rabbit reader part 3

I lied there will be a fourth part 🤣 sorry I’ve been gone for so long. By the way this amazing art was drawn by @klaudia96art it’s based on this story I just had to have me and my demon drawn lol

Alastor and you made it back to the hotel without any more problems, you both headed towards the kitchen the kitchen. “Alright darling I’ll get the ingredients out, I can’t wait to taste your cooking once more.” You set your gift down on the table pulling your hair back. “Well considering I’ve spent so much time with your mom I bet it’ll taste just as good as hers.”

You start to wash your hands and hear something crash to the ground. As you turn around Alastor is looking at you with a thin smile his eyes as wide as they can get. “H-how is my ma….I’m sure she has her doubts that id ever show up in heaven seeing as it’s been so long” You walk towards him bringing your hand up to caress his face. He leans into your touch his eyes looking more gentle than crazed as usual. When it came to his mother Alastor wanted nothing more than to make sure she was happy, her opinion is what mattered most in the world. "She always say’s she just hopes your alright and happy wherever you are. And that she misses you.”

Alastor rest his head into your neck, inhaling your scent. It had been so long since he’s been able to hold you, to feel content again. Usually he hates being touched by others, it feels like a disgusting burn he can’t get rid of. He was never a fan of touch unless he initiated it, unless it was from his mother and you were soon added to the equation. A thought hit him and once again he was tense pulling back looking at you frantically like an actual deer caught in headlights.

“Please don’t tell her why I’m down here. It would break her heart, and I can’t stand the thought of knowing I disappointed her.” You could feel his fingers tighten on your shoulder, any harder and he would break skin. As you tried to calm him down you realized just how much your husband was still there. Yes he was a killer and a cannibal who had no problem taking in the joy in the suffering of others. But he was still a mamas boy through and through.

“Alastor I have to tell your mom I saw you she misses you so much. She just wants to know you’re doing ok. But I won’t tell her…. Why you’re down here, it’s not my story to tell anyway.” He paused for a moment sighing “I suppose that’s good enough for me….. should we start cooking?”

“Oh no mister I’m cooking. Your gonna sit down and relax” you push alastor to the table pulling out a chair for him “But dear-“ “No buts! It’s been so long since I cooked for you. I missed spoiling my husband hehe.” Alastor could only sigh and lean both arms on the table his hand resting in his hands looking at you with that large goofy smile. “If you insist sugar”

As you began to cook more of the residents started to show up much to alastor an annoyance. Angel was the first one to walk through. “Wow toots you got it smelling great in here! Watcha cooking?” You giggled, you were kinda embaressed to say you went overboard with the cooking. “Well I made jambalaya, shrimp and grits, fried chicken, corn bread and a peach cobbler. Husk almost spits out his drink at the spread your making.

“I know I went to overboard, it’s just been so long since I’ve cooked for alastor I wanted to make all his favorites minus the cobbler. Feel free to join us I know we won’t eat it all.” You hear alastor muttering under his breath that the others could leave. You went back to cooking as the rest of the residents filled in but you stare at Charlie when she entered with a man who looked just like her. When both your eyes lock he looks at Charlie happily. “Charlie is this the angel you were telling me about?”

You leave the stove and walk towards him “hello I’m ____,It’s nice to meet you.” Lucifer pulls your hand up to his lips kissing it. “Charmed, it’s a pleasure to meet you” the room is filled with a sound of large static making everyone cringe. Lucifer is the only one who looks bored, rolling his eyes. “Problem bell hop?” Alastor is by your side in an instant.

“Keep your mouth away from my wife” Lucifer looks at you and alastor back and forth until his eyes land on Charlie. “So you weren’t kidding, he’s actually married….. to them…..and you agreed to marry him willingly not by force?” He looks back at you and seeing you nod in confirmation is all he needs for him to put a deadpan look on his face. “…….But you’re way out of his league like waaaaaay out of his league. Plus I don’t think Bell hop boy here knows how to…..satisfy needs that’s arnt cananalistic?” “I beg your pardon? Why the fuck does everyone keep bringing that up?”

You shake your head as you hear angel dust laughing in the back ground. Saying how he had said the same thing earlier, in between laughs. “Yes so I’ve been told, and I think he’s in my league just fine, I can’t wait to show y’all the pictures after dinner, alastor was so handsome hehe.” Alastor looks caught off guard for a second before grabbing your shoulder. “Now dear I’m sure no one wants to see that-“

“He’s lying”

“We all want to see it”

“My rival in hissss youth? Excellent ammunition for later batlesssss”

Alastor just looks more annoyed but seeing your big doe eyes looking at him reminding him so much of why he couldn’t resist your wims when you were both alive. “Very well but you will only see the pictures of my choosing and there will be no more than 3” Everyone groaned but accepted it knowing alastor shouldn’t be pushed over the edge. “Foods ready! I hope y’all like it” Everyone starts to make a plate except for alastor, you make him two plates with all the food you made on them except for the dessert.

While you serve him his plate kissing his cheek everyone can’t seem to stop staring,even nifty. Seeing the very independent radio demon getting served with a goofy smile on his face was so domestic and strange. But what no one else expected was for you to make a plate for Lucifer. He started thanking you profusely looking really shy about it. Everyone else was trying to scoot away from alastor who was starting to let his shadow tendrils rise. “Thank you! So much but I’m… you didn’t have too. Not that I’m not grateful! It’s very sweet of you”

“It’s my pleasure you are the king after all.” “Oh NO no no no no no. Please treat me like any other guest. I hate all the kingly stuff haha. How bout I make you a plate full of pancakes tomorrow?” You shrug stating you’re only here for today but you appreciated the offer.” Cherri bomb looked at you giving you a crooked smile. “So tell us about you and smiley, any good stories?” You tried to think of the least embarrassing but most entertaining memory you can think of.

“Well now that I know Al’s past this story makes much more sense now. Me and him went camping with some of my friends. Mind you I’ve known these people for over 10 years. One of my friends got really drunk and ended up falling off a cliff but he swear he was pushed, but none of us believed him because he was waisted. Then a bear ended up chasing him because he had leftover food in his pocket. He just had terrible luck the whole trip and guess who was near him that whole time.”

Everyone turned to look at alastor who continues to eat with a thin smile. “What? He talked over everyone, made crude jokes to my wife, and thought he could play jokes on ME of all people. The trip was more enjoyable with him unconscious. He should consider himself lucky he’s not dead, had he not been my wife’s good friend he wouldn’t have left the camp grounds.”

“I still can’t believe all of that really was you” You made your way back to the sink to clean the dishes, you could hear all the complements on your food and while you thanked them you could feel something pulling at your side. It’s nifty, and it looks like she’s trying to reach for your face. “A mess! Don’t worry I’ll get it miss.” You didn’t know what on earth she was taking about untill you felt someone come behind you and a wet sensation on your cheek.

It didn’t dawn on you what happened until you saw Alastor behind you. You blush in embarrassment realizing that he licked your cheek. “You had a little sauce on your face dear, now come sit and eat” you were about to comment until angel muttered. “I can’t believe I got that” you turned to see him holding his phone up, he must’ve wanted to take pictures of you and alastor. Speaking of alastor you don’t think you could move fast enough to stop him from pouncing at angel dust.

Speaking of alastor you don’t think you could move fast enough to stop him from pouncing at angel dust. “Alastor No!” Lucky enough Lucifer had been enough to restrain him. But if looks could kill both Lucifer and Angel would be dead by now. Seeing as the “big dick in charge” had a hold on Alastor, Angel Dust decided to get one final jab in. “Can you tell us a story now of why Ole freak face is sad in the sack?”

Too bad for him Lucifer’s grip couldn’t hold shadows though.

This was not proof read much~

@fairyv-ice @sirens-and-moonflowers @cannibalcoyote @jyoongim @thereeallink @sakuraluna2468 @fandomfan-102 @crystal-freak24

[madame-fear]

Hello sweetness! I am here to requests something from you, feel free to ignore since I know you probably have so many requests right now. But I’m back in my hotd faze and wanted one of my favorite writers to write something. <3

Could I request a Lucerys Velaryon where he is newly betrothed to a lovely girl, us, who he falls head over hells for. The two being very sweet to one another, and the reader being scared to be married to a prince but he is there always. But the plot is about how closer to the wedding date the reader is trying back on her dress and just dreaming and Luke comes in and sees it? I really love lovestoke Luke! Please and thank you.

-Love, Ash.

*ೃ༄ 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐊 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒.ೃ࿐

★amira speaks! : hello my lovely !! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 Oh my god, you have NO idea how happy I felt when I got your request on my askbox 🥺 I made this as fluffy as possible for one of my favourite writers too, and I hope you enjoy your reading, darling! 💕 — summary : [ — ✧ request. ] — word count : 2.5k

— genre : purely fluff. — pairing : lucerys velaryon x reader.

The word ‘betrothal’ had always been a term that frightened you.

From a young age, you had learned that betrothals were most often — actually, it was always — done as an act of political convenience; to ally different Houses together and strengthen their bond. Knowing it was an unwanted marriage, and often women were unhappily stuck in them, you forever kept yourself reluctantly terrified towards the idea of having to marry a Prince, or a Lord by the time you were a grown girl; not wanting to suffer.

And by the time it was your turn to get betrothed, your parents and yourselves travelled to Dragonstone, preparing to meet the Prince you would be married to in a future. Such overwhelming nerves and fright seemed to burden you more than anything during your entire journey, feeling as if you could melt right in the spot, with a desperate need to get out of there.

But fortunately for you, by the time you reached Dragonstone, you had been blessed with an eternally loving, timid young Prince. It was none other than the secondborn son of Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen, the future Lord of Driftmark: Lucerys Velaryon.

You had all been warmly welcomed by the Targaryen Princess herself, whom immediatly made you feel comforted as you noticed her tender, sweet nature around you — treating you as if you were her own daughter. And by her side, awkwardly stood Lucerys. It was nearly impossible to ignore him, feeling his gaze fixed on you the entirety of the time as you were received by House Targaryen.

Much like you, it was quite notorious the young Prince carried a timid nature. By the moment your gaze met with his own gorgeous, vivid green hazel eyes, he rapidly adverted his stare elsewhere, shyly smiling to himself and trying to hide the fluster that kept growing on his pale face as the seconds passed. Luke had both of his arms hidden behind his back at that moment, yes, but you could still tell that he was nervously fidgeting with his own hands and fingers. Gods, you were such a pretty, graceful lady, and Lucerys was already over the moon for you despite having merely shared a brief moment of eye contact together.

The idea of having to leave your home to live with your betrothed was, initially, a complicated thought to process; especially during the first days of your staying in Dragonstone despite how kind and patient everyone treated you. But of course, as you were often sat next to Lucerys during dinner and had some small chats together throughout the day — as awkward as they were in the beginning — you were quick in taking a liking for the future Velaryon Lord. Most definitely, it was his endearingly shy self the one that had carved it’s own way into your heart, and the one that managed to completely twist in a good way your sense of frighten at the thought of the word ‘betrothal’.

Tranquil, leisure strolls through the gardens, hours of reading to one another together, and sneaky late night talks was how you both spent your days until your wedding ceremony arrived. And even, Luke had gone as far as teaching you some High Valyrian so you would know the language and culture of his own family.

Of course, the nervousness regarding your marriage and the wedding continously lingered in you, gnawing every bit of your mind despite having a perfectly sweet relationship with Lucerys. And knowing how you felt, becoming used to freely speak up your mind whenever you were alone together, Luke never failed to comfort and soothe you by expressing his own nerves, but at the same time, reassuring you that he was certain all would go more than well as every preparation for the occassion had been carefully organisated properly.

It was the warmth that the Velaryon Prince constantly offered to you, that made you be over the moon and clouds for him, just in the exact way he felt around you. It had taken no time for you to become his ‘gevie rūklon’ — his pretty flower, being as delicately graceful as the petal of a rose. The one he was more than eager to cherish and show his undying adoration with each day that passed, and you couldn’t help but often thank the Seven for blessing you with such a loving future Lord Husband. With each passing day, you found yourself balancing between the thin string of feeling jittery, and an increasing zeal the closer you were to your wedding day.

And there you stood two nights before your official wedding date, staring at yourself in front of the mirror, simultaneously swinging between such emotions that equally made your heart violently pound against your chest in a way that your hands were visibly trembling. Softly, you adjusted the silk wedding dress that they had prepared just for yourself. As expected, you had already tried the dress on the moment the seamstresses were finished with sewing the very last details — but you were allured into trying it again, imagining how everything would go and practising for the official date.

Faintly, a soft sigh escaped from your nostrils, with a little grin tugging at the corner of your lips. Both your hands were clasped in front of your body, grasping the delicate texture of your dress against your skin. Your breathing became hitched softly, processing the thought of becoming officially married to a future Lord whom you already wholeheartedly adored.

You had spent endless hours in front of your mirror, reading your own wedding vows to yourself and making sure that you wouldn’t either stutter, mess up, or stumble upon your words. And even so, despite already knowing by heart your vows to your betrothed, you still continued to re-read them again, or mentally repeat it.

Your gaze lingered on the ground for a few seconds, admiring quietly the dedication the seamstresses put into your wedding dress, before you managed to raise it to stare at your own face. A nervous frowny grin tugged at the corner of your lips, feeling a flustered heat creeping to your cheeks. As your chambers were silent, the only thing you could ever hear was the sound of your heartbeat increasing by the passing of the seconds, along your soft huffing.

Overall, digging deeper beyond the obvious nerves you felt, there was an immeasurable feeling of joy. The thought of having been blessed with such an endearing future Lord Husband, who had also became your best friend and companion, brought a warming comfort in you that made you eager to the official wedding day. The sight of your own reflection on your dress was more than enough for you to helplessly wander through your own daydreaming.

Dumbfoundedly, your grin became wider as you could already imagine how your wedding would go. And not only you daydreamt about the wedding feast, the way you would be delightfully surrounded by your family, closest relatives, and perhaps how other Lord and Ladies would attend the celebration — but as well, you couldn’t help but imagine how joyful you would be spending the rest of your days by his side, pampering one another with tender caresses, and soft kisses.

Having one another for the joyful and sorrowful moments in your life, and even, having precious little children of your own surrounding both of you. The early prospect you had of how your marriage would be made you nearly melt from adoration. Your gaze remained fixed in your own reflection, smiling to yourself as your mind solely focused and dreamed of what was yet to come.

The door of your chambers were swung open swiftly, yet quietly — provoking a faint creaking sound before it was closed shut. Upon hearing the faint noise, you were quick in snapping out of your little daydreaming, adverting your gaze towards the person entering the quarters. It was, of course, none other than your betrothed; as he had gotten used to entering your chambers in the middle of the night without even knocking, especially when he couldn’t sleep.

A heated dark shade of red crept in your face, gulping timidly as soon as you made eye contact with Luke through the reflection of the mirror. Before managing to mutter a word, his green hazel eyes were fixed on you. The way you so gracefully stood in front of the mirror, using the wedding dress prepared just for yourself that was adorned with dragons and dragonscales imagery, made him awkwardly stand at your door.

Part of him wished to advert his gaze elsewhere, in a poor attempt to hide his overwhelmingly shy fluster; but another part of him, insisted on remaining with his stare on you. Gods, you were such a precious girl— how could he not swoon over you, like he always did? And seeing you in such a beautifully detailed wedding dress made his heart skip one, or two beats. Needless it was to mention the fact that since you were two days away from officially getting married, that already provoked on him some sleepless nights; and seeing you wearing that wedding dress made him feel as if he could melt right there.

The first time you had tried on your wedding dress, he didn’t have the opportunity to take a peek of how you would look. But now, curiousity was eased delightfully. If anything, it served to fuel his already undying adoration for your sweetly graceful nature.

Clearing his throat shyly, his green eyes gazed down to the floor. Both his hands were clasped in front of his body. “I’m... Sorry,” he began speaking meekly. Noticing the timid fluster notoriously creeping on his pale skin made you have to fight back a giggle. “Am I interrupting something, my love?” his eyes lingered on the ground, before reluctanctly gazing up at you shyly. You shook your head in response, before being able to mutter a response.

“Good.” with soft footsteps, Luke approached you. “You can’t sleep, too?” a scoff escaped from you, fixing your gaze on his features as he walked towards you very slowly. “Is it too obvious?” you inquired back teasingly as a helpless grin appeared on your lips, getting a chuckle from him as a response. “I can tell, my love.” as soon as Lucerys stood by your side — noticing him slightly taller than usual —, his green eyes stared at you through the reflection.

The way Luke so endearingly admired how precious you looked for your wedding ceremony made you want to squirm under his gaze, and giggle like a little girl with a crush. “I haven’t been able to sleep either,” his arms remained behind his back, feeling as if his staring to your reflection wouldn’t allow him to do anything else, just... Stare foolishly in love. “Our wedding ceremony is two nights away, and I feel restless.”

Seeing you in the wedding dress was too alluring to get lost in the daydreaming of your near future together. His smile seemed sheepish as his green eyes carefully observed every inch of yourself, treasuring you as his future Lady Wife. You had rapidly turned into his greatest pride, and Luke knew he would eventually show you off to everyone. Not like he wasn’t already doing so, either way.

“But overall...” his arms appeared from behind his back, walking to stand behind of you. Gently, his arms wrapped themselves around your waist, pulling you tightly against his chest in an adoring way. The warmth of his firm embrace was soothing, as he placed his chin on the crook of your neck, moving his stare towards your reflection once again. “I’m proud of having you as my future Wife.”

Of course, all his compliments were genuine — but most of the time, Lucerys appreciated seeing you become flustered at his displays of affection. Your hands were placed on his arms, caressing them gently. “You look more than beautiful,” he cooed, nuzzling the tip of his nose softly against your skin, “I can’t wait until our wedding ceremony. I know you will be such a loving wife and companion, as you already are.” with his words, his lips placed soft kisses on your skin, moving from your neck, to your cheek.

And in his words, there was no lacking in honestly. Each time his eyes took a peek at you, especially at the current moment where you tried back on your dress, his breathing got stuck on his throat; with his heart pounding loudly against his chest. Your giggles with each one of his loving kisses encouraged Lucerys to keep going, and if it were possible, he would shower you in his kisses eternally.

A contented growl spurred from your lips, craning your head lazily towards him, managing to place your lips on the skin of his rosy cheeks. “Sometimes I wonder, what have I done to possibly be blessed by the Seven to earn such a sweet, and attentive betrothed such as yourself?” you could feel his smiling lips grasping against your skin, holding a protective grip around your body.

Sighing, he managed to rest his chin on the crook of your neck, trying to catch his own breathing before continuing to fill you with kisses. Those sleepless nights were more than worth it, marrying such a precious beauty as yourself — and who could blame him? If he managed to even get some rest the two days before your wedding, Luke knew his dreams would be invaded by you walking down the aisle, in such detailed dress. “I can only wonder to myself the same thing, my sweet.” he replied briefly.

Allowing your head to rest against his own, his eyes stared at you through the reflection of the mirror. There weren’t enough words to express his admiration towards you, swooning inwards to himself at the sight of your vibrant grace.

Despite the obvious anxiety you equally felt regarding the ceremony, such as everything going as planned, and none of you stumbling upon your words when it came to reading your vows to one another, there was an exuberant eagerness to refer to each other as your own.

But, if anything— there was one thing that would be difficult for him to overbear during the ceremony. The sweet scent emanating from you was merely intoxicating, and his lips continued to playfully grasp against the skin of your neck, admiring you quietly.

“I do have to warn you,” shortly, he trailed off. His lips became in a dumbfounded grin, drunken with the feeling of a loving worshipping towards your entire self. Adoring you so much, that could make his heart combust at any second. You were bewitching at the sight.

Your eyebrows furrowed in curiousity before he continued, gripping your waist tighter, before one of his hands found your own, and squeezed it faintly. “I plan on not keeping my lips to myself during our wedding, especially if you are to look this gorgeous.”

♡ taglist : ♡

@jacesvelaryons @jjamieberry @anemicroyalcore @countsmoon @beeebo234 @manuholland6 @capellaadara @kyuupidwrites @tchatso @dopepersonacloudllama @phantasyy @tasty-nutella @mstxdes @valeriecash @cookielovesbook-akie @zzz000eee @bellarkeselection @feliuuuksks @visenya-reigned @maria699669 @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @sweethoneyblossom1 @jamiemydeer @snowprincesa1

[odessa-2]

Good morning dear,

I have to ask....what is your opinion.

THE SCREAMING IN THE DISABLED BATHROOM DONE BY SAM, HIS SECRET PLACE.

Good morning to you,

I have been seeing a few episodes since the last NYCCOMCON, I wandered as many of you about the disabled toilet Sam spoke about.

Waiting to see the other 2 events still not broadcast namely, PaleyFest media event and Josh's Happy, Sad, Confused to get more details.

Check at 50 mins.+ when Sam speaks about screaming after 11 years in the disabled bathroom being alone where there is still blood from season one.  And he never told Cait it seems. 11 years, retribution, forgiveness finally, end of it all.

He said he used that place when he needed to be alone.  We know season one was epic but can you watch episodes 15 and 16. I cannot and was reminded why there was fake blood in that disabled bathroom, and all the gorry scenes of blood that was shed and shown during episodes 15 and 16. No wonder Sam went there to be alone screaming after RDM had him do these scenes twice and I remember reading how the crew were in tears when doing these episodes.

How sadistic of RDM and even DG as she mentioned to Sophie in this year NYCCOMCON, she is Black Jack Randall, both DG and RDM sadistic in there exploitation of Sam if you ask me. Also how evil of RDM not giving the candidature of Sam that year for Emmy nomination that both Cait and Tobias got. We know the reason now, he was jealous of Sam, his good looks, his goodness and the fact Cait was in love of Sam.

No wonder Sam and Cait are so enamored, I'll say Art imitates Life, Sam suffering so much not being able to be the man he should be with this evil narrative, 2 husbands, 2 wedding rings for Cait, same DOB for Jamie/Sam and Claire/Cait almost. Same initials Claire Beauchamp, Caitriona Balfe, Sam change J in JAMMF for S. Too much, did the stars/STARZ really align, taking two novice individuals with all the evil behind not forgetting Josh reprising the WS/PC incident and all the disgrace done on Twitter on the fandom and personally to many women.

The only good outcome was the love endured by Sam and Cait who got married and now have a family, yes, seeing the dancing back to the stones in last episode of season 2 brings tears, how more to what these 2 individuals had to suffer for FAME and FORTUNE.

I am sure loads are taken off their backs now, praying, hoping their lives will OUTSHINE Outlander in all their endeavours.

Sincerely,

JClovely

Hello lovely. NYCC gifted us with more receipts and insights into SC's situation that we already suspected, but had it confirmed again. The special Disabled toilet comment from Sam surprised me a little as it did Cait it seems! Sam just let rip. The fact that he openly admitted to having and needing a secret hideout place where he could go and "scream" just confirms how much pressure Sam was under. The performing monkey 🐒, the emasculated puppet who was denied his God given freedoms. Denied his right to claim his family, forced into an ungodly narrative. A compromised man in many ways.

I agree that that RDM is a jealous piece of shit that used the rape scene to humiliate Sam. That slime bag had the major hots for Cait and I think everyone could see it, including Terri. Terri is batshit crazy but she had the air of a mistreated woman imo.

I still think we have a couple more years of narrative but somewhere deep down in my intuitive waters, I feel that SC will be free at some point. They will come out.

[newkatzkafe2023]

(Saw a funny simpsons episode and thought of this 😅)

Monkey King's wife having really bad baby fever. Probably just got married.

But seeing mothers with their own babies.

Busting the door down yelling at monkey King.

"impregnate me at once!" 🤣😂

Monkey King reaction

OH MY GOD I REMEMBER THAT EPISODE!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

So You were helping your neighbor when her new baby daughter and she sent you to handle it while she makes her bottle 🍼

You were quite nervous but one Lullaby and a coo later, you Realize you needed to Tell your husband something..............

(Monkey queen) IMPREGNATE ME AT ONCE!!!🤯🤤🤰👶

(Lmk Wukong) WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN BY THIS?!??!?! Wukong blushed horribly at your demand and despite knowing about your baby fever for a few weeks, but this is crazy. I mean, maybe a cute baby monkey could lighten up the home and to see you being so domestic......maybe it's not a bad idea.

(HIB Wukong) YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE. Hello, he's a well established family, man. I'm pretty sure we talked about this before and all the time. He's now hot and ready for all those cubs you wanted to bad, way to Trigger his own baby fever that crap is Contagious.😑

(NR Wukong) AYE YO WHAT?!?!?!?! Wukong loves to get very Intimate with you as always, but never for a cub. I mean it's not a bad idea but their are Many things to consider, but those thoughts quicky melted away when you had already ponce on him.

(MKR Wukong) Really infront of his master and the other two?!?!? I Mean your way to pumped up to care but come on hun. Ignore his melodramatic ass he was gonna ask eventually but only when you both get back to flower fruit mountain officially.

(Netflix Wukong)..........A little more context would be nice. He would be down for it considering he's been alone for most of his life, so he'll agree after a while. Still the answer is yes and he looks forward to it.

(BMW Wukong) Believe it or not, but he's been suffering from baby fever for a while. In other words, the stubborn Monkey man was way too full of himself to ask directly and kinda nervous, too. Though with your sudden request, his nervousness went right away.

(Destined one).................................Yeah, the poor silent man's brain had crashed and burned at your sudden loud request. Like you want a cub??? Like that's great and all, but he had many doubts about being a father, but you always made sure to praise him for being such a good husband, so he would be a good father too.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG🤱

[liaswills]

Pick a card: A message from your past life self! 🪦🗡

Hello darlings! Today I bring you another pick a card- I felt the need to bring out some messages. The energy today is very much revolving around death- and it's relatively natural relation to life. So today I will bring you a pick a card- with a message of what your past self would tell you! Naturally this is a general message so take whatever resonates. All the love, Elias!

Pick a pile from 1, 2, 3 or 4!

Hello, my dear self. Some day you have wondered who you are- who you should become. But I want you to know that no matter whom you try to be- or whom you'll grow to believe says the right thing- it'll always be me whom you will come back to. I'm not scary. I'm you. I like to brace the horizon- with a smile and breathe in the morning air. I'm a morning person. I used to hunt birds- for food. And... truthfully- my life was never that long. I didn't get to experience my childhood as something I cherished. This is why you're not very good with people. I'm sorry that in this life- you too- struggle with being around crowds. You do- try to. Which is more than I ever did. I was more one with animals- nature- it's why... I never really got to be together with someone. Because I spent my life alone- you might feel like everyone hates you. Or suffer from anxiety everytime you try to make a friend- with your friends- or even the people you try to date or love. I'm sorry that this part of me- lingers- but no matter how it has manifested, it is what I desired most. Sometimes lives are so crowded that you just need one where you're by yourself. I did that already. You don't need to follow my example- because I want for you to flourish and be a butterfly. To do what I haven't. To be brave. To be bold. To dare. Dream. I know you think you're alone sometimes- but you're not! The spirits of all the animals I've taken care of- protect you still! It's amazing how loyal animals are. Yes- even your last pet. I know we have a special connection to animals- I know that we sometimes feel like they understand us- feel our energy- they do- but they won't create a depth in our emotional maturity and balance much like dramatic human relationships do. If you know me- you'd wish to have a life in social circles too. It wasn't fun. And I want to brace you to feel safe. To try and feel joy. To feel happiness. Try and do it when you can. Because that- will help me- and all of us before us. I'll be here to hug you. Because I'm your greatest supporter.

Forgiveness, is what it takes. Forgive me. Forgive yourself. I'm not like you- nothing like you at all. I was vain. And cruel. And unkind. I didn't see what you see. I didn't- I couldn't. I couldn't see how people were able to be the exact same as the other- i couldn't see how every life was worth living. I killed for things. I cheated in life. I climbed the social ladders and I hurt my hands doing so. I really fell. I fell in the end and it was my ending. I didn't have a long life- because when I was found out- everything I worked for, was done for. I wanted to become better. I needed to be a better self. You don't. You don't need to do this. If you continue down this road- if you continue to try and improve- it won't make you happy. It won't make me happy either. I think it's time for us to forgive ourselves. Because sooner than later- we are all that we have. I've known this too late. Very late. You need to start appreciating the things you do have. The money you do have. The family you live with. The country you're in. The name you have been given. Consider it all. You're almost there- you're almost free of this crude self torture. Just one more step- release this attachment. Release your ideas of how things should be. Please allow yourself to just be. To just trust in me. To trust in you. In us. Trust that we can do it. That we can do whatever we set our minds to. You've inherited my determination- don't spoil it with waivering in uneasyness. Don't spoil my end- for your life to be worse than mine. Don't befriend toxic people. Don't walk towards the red flags. I need you to see. See whom you're talking to. See whom you share your mind with. See what you think of without your phone for an hour. I need you to feel yourself- to love yourself- to feel our own world is more than what you think it is and could be. Forgive me- I was never from your world- but I was the you- you needed to become whom you are now. Forgive me. I'm sorry.

We aren't the same gender. I had to start with that. I've led a completely different existence based on my social norms and whom I was raised to become. If you're a fem energy- then I used to embody masculine. And vice versa. You might feel lingering touches of me- in the way that you can embody both energies. I want to say- I'm congratulating you- because I never dared or could. I lived very rigid. In a rigid place where I was expectant to preform a role in life. To be a provider- or a caretaker. I simply obeyed that life. I simply followed the norms. I don't want you to follow any norms other than your own. I fought bravely- I died gloriously- in battle- with a strong heart or perhaps not so strong considering it caved. I loved- I loved big. You inherited this. I loved my friends. My family. I even...loved another whom I couldn't be with. That longing for someone- I owe to you to release. I didn't really got the closure I needed. I didn't really tell this person- that my heart was theirs. And theirs alone. Yes- I've had children. I've done my duty- as was expected of me, but i didn't love my partner the way I loved this star crossed romantic ideal. It was an ideal. I never got to know them personally. It didn't matter. I liked to imagine what they would be like- and somehow that image of them was enough for me. I see you- I feel you, and your life is already so much more vibrant than mine. Thankyou! I truly- honestly, can say thank you. For being authentic- for truly honouring your own feelings. It doesn't matter what you become- or whom you'll chase- in the end, you've already done what you came here to do. For me- anyway. I think you're amazing. And you inspire me- and others, so much. So so so so so much. That truthfully- you should show yourself. To everyone. Haha. It isn't scary- remember your brothers- sisters- whom fought alongside you in the trenches- whom fought with you day and night to remain sovereign- to remain equal- to gain prowess and our voice back. Hang on Soldier- you have a long road to go. It'll be glorious- I can tell you that. From my point of view- your paving the way to a dream. I'll talk to you- in my mind- my world- my time- I talk to myself often actually, haha- but you will sometimes get more from talking to me too. Just... call me a friend you once were. And I'll be a friend to you too. It'll help greatly- I am indebted to you as much. Don't worry if you're not going to do it- I'm just here to give you the inspiration you need to get out there and flourish your shiny little way around the globe.

My funny Valentine.... sweet comic valentine....you make me smile, with my heart. Listen to "My funny valentine" by Chat Baker or Frank Sinatra, because I am giving you this song as I look upon you darling. I know sometimes we don't truly like ourselves. But you don't need to become someone else to love whom you truly are. Because you already do- trust me- the whole of you- all of us- all of your lives- we love you as you are and will continue to do so fiercely. Honestly- we were wild. I was wild. Haha. I was a bit freakishly in love with everyone. Gradually- that changed a little into a more tamed version of loving and being. But you inherited a spark of love for loving. Maybe... still a little unfooted- but, priceless either way. Truly- priceless to see. I know you think some things are scaring you- but they aren't truthful. It isn't real. It's hard to have trust in that but just trust me. Trust you. I am nothing but a charmy and flourishing lovely cottonball. Haha- joking! But we all are a little vixenous sometimes, right? Perhaps you will see me when we go out, that I enter your mind more and you become more me than I become you. Channel the spirit of the sex! Baby! Who did you think you were!? Don't say you're ashamed... I was truly... a heartbreaker but I am kind? That counts for something right. Hmmmm, what to tell you. I haven't really got a message for you. To be honest I think we're currently on our recreational life. Just do whatever you want dearie. I've got no problem with it. But... do tell your mother something like- love you, when you leave. I know! People, right!? Strange creatures. But you will come to know the greatest of people. The biggest. Bestest. Friends. Ever. Haha- woooooo! I am excited already for you. Anyway- lovely for you to think of me- I always imagined myself to be a celebrity in your life so who knows!? Did we.... do it? Oh who knows! Maybe that's just a fantasy. But romantizing life is what we're made for so- go ahead. Think and imagine and write away. Poetry is lovely. I find you adorable. And if you continue- we might find some treasures along the way.

[mountttmase]

Winter Sun - Chapter 3

Note - chapter three already I can’t 😭 honestly thank you so much for all the love and interaction on this it’s really warming my cold little heart 🥹 enjoy this one kiddos and let me know what you think 🩷 also sorry if the tag list didn’t work last week I think I’ve fixed it for this one 🤞🏻

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 7.1k

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut & angst

Masterlist

After your late night between the sheets, you treated yourself to a lie in the next morning. Waking to find a text from Carly to meet her by the pool with the others when you were ready, so you quickly threw on a bikini and shorts before throwing over a shirt and grabbing your things to go and find her.

You knew they shouldn’t, but Mason's words from yesterday were playing in your head a little bit still. You knew he meant nothing by it and was just being his cheeky self but you didn’t want to be a customer of his no matter if he meant it as a joke or not. It made you feel as if you were in a long line of girls he picked up whenever he felt like it and yes you were technically just friends but you couldn’t help but feel upset about it. Especially after the awkward good night you’d suffered through after you were both done last night and you felt like the whole arrangement you had going on was a bit weird now.

By the time you were outside pretty much everyone was there bar Woody, Kayla and Mason and you quickly said hello to Dec and Lauren before making your way over to Carly who had Ben's head laid in her lap as she played with his hair.

‘Morning lovebirds’ you smiled, standing at the end of their sun lounger before Carly patted the one next to her.

‘I’ve saved you a seat’

‘Oh, that’s a double though I don’t wanna take up a whole one to myself’ you told her, looking to see if one of the single ones were free but they were on the other side of the pool so you wouldn’t be able to speak to her.

‘There’s plenty for everyone else, come on it’s fine’ she pouted and after another quick scan around you realised she was right so you got yourself comfortable. The pair of you sat chatting and catching up until the others emerged and about half an hour later Mason showed up. The sight of him making your mouth water as he made his way over to everyone.

You’d seen him in a lot less by now but the tiny black swim shorts were making your tummy churn as they accentuated all your favourite features of his. Low on his soft hips but his thighs were still strong and the mole on his tummy was driving you wild. You kept your eyes down though and pretended to read as he made his way over to you.

‘Morning all’ he chirped and you sent him a quick smile before going back to reading. It didn’t deter him from flopping down next to you though and when you didn’t look at him, you felt his hand gently trail up your thigh before giving it a quick squeeze.

‘What are you doing?’ You whispered, heart racing from the feel of his fingers. Gulping down a nervous lump and quickly flashing your eyes his way to look at him. He was giving you his usual cheeky, innocent smile but you knew he knew what was happening.

‘What?’

‘Don’t, people might see’ you told him, moving your leg so his hand dropped onto the cushion with a thud and you could see his scowl from the corner of your eye.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing, I’m fine’

‘Did you sleep okay?’

‘I said I’m fine’

‘Y/n, I grew up in a house full of women. I know fine doesn’t mean fine’

‘I just wanna read my book’ you told him lowly and after a small nod he slowly got up and made his way over to the pool.

You felt awful instantly, watching him over your glasses as he swam a few laps with a solemn expression. You knew Mason and you knew he meant no harm with what he’d said yesterday. This was a tricky situation, lines were a little bit blurry but there was no use being snappy with him for something you knew he meant as a joke and you were being sensitive over. No matter how much he’d made you feel like it was something else, even in this short space of time, you were friends and the friendship comes first.

The longer you watched him, the more guilty you felt and you watched as he propped himself up at the end of the pool. His chin resting on his arms as he faced away from you and you knew you had to talk to him and apologise so you carefully got up to go and see him. Plonking yourself down at the edge of the pool next to him so you could dangle your legs in the water before looking at him in hopes you could catch his eye.

He looked up at you instantly, his big brown eyes making your tummy sink so you reached out to gently grasp the back of his head so you could pull him closer to you and he thankfully went with it. Your heart leaping when he settled himself between your legs, arms wrapping around your thighs before he rested his cheek on top of one so he could look up at you.

‘Sorry Mase. I didn’t mean to be moody’ you told him quietly and the small smile on his lips filled you with relief.

‘S’okay. Are you alright?’

‘I’m fine, I promise’ you reassured him, feeling even worse that he didn't seem to mind your mood swing. He just wanted to make sure you were okay. ‘Maybe I should have stayed in bed a bit longer, huh? I’ll be fine after a nap’

‘You’ve only just woken up’ he chuckled, eyes brighter than before which caused you to smile as you knew you were okay again and you let your hand get lost in his hair.

‘Hey, naps can be taken anytime of the day’

‘Very true’ he giggled, squeezing your thighs gently. ‘Let me know when you’re taking one I’ll join you’

You weren’t sure if it was the sun bearing down on you or if it was Mason himself but you felt warmed from the inside and as your hand was trailing over the top of his back and you were surprised at how warm his skin felt too. ‘Have you put sunscreen on?’ You asked but he shook his head shyly. ‘Come on, I’ve got some let me help you’

‘You don’t wanna come for a swim?’

‘No thanks, waters not really my thing. You should be thankful I’m even sat here’ you laughed before he kissed your thigh and swam back slightly to let you up.

Mason managed to dry off a little bit before he sat at the end of the sun lounger with his back to you and you slid in behind him to get to work. You'd never really taken a good look at his back before but he was much broader than you realised and you loved the way his muscles contracted under your touch. Taking your time to really look at him and feel him before telling him to turn and face you.

You let him get comfortable, one leg stretched out on the lounger now so you could sit yourself closer to his body. Noticing the way he shivered as you applied the cold cream to his skin before sending him an apologetic smile. He didn’t seem to mind though, a soft smile playing on his face as he watched your every move and you hoped he couldn’t hear your heart going at a mile a minute as you touched his chest and down to his abs.

It felt weird having these feelings. Mason was a friend and you knew that. But he was a gorgeous, funny and kind friend with an incredible body and you couldn’t believe you were sat here touching him up like this in front of everyone. Only made worse when his hand reached out to touch your thigh carefully.

The sound and feel of his belly rumbling as you applied the sunscreen to his body made you chuckle, eyeing him curiously as he laughed at himself before you rested your hands on his hips.

‘You not had anything to eat yet?’ You asked, watching him shake his head before you let out a little sigh. ‘Why not?’

‘You didn’t make me anything’

‘Oh so it’s my fault?’ You laughed, squeezing his sides playfully and watching him giggle and squirm before he nodded his head.

‘Well sort of yeah. It’s sort of your job whilst you’re here’ he winked causing you to roll your eyes but you knew he was right.

‘Fine. Just your face to do then I’ll make you something’ you smiled, applying some more cream to your fingers before awkwardly pushing your sunglasses up your face so you could get a better look at him. Thankfully for you the sun was behind you so you could see him perfectly and the sight almost took your breath away. Admiring all the tiny freckles that littered his face, the curve of his nose and the fullness of his lips. He really was beautiful and you used the excuse of putting sunscreen on his face to look at him like you never had before.

You knew he was watching you too, his bright brown eyes following you out of the corner of your eye but as soon as you tried to make eye contact, he looked down and a rosy tint began to flush over his cheeks.

‘I’ve never noticed how many freckles you have before’ you told him quietly, letting his eyes flicker up to you again before looking away. ‘They’re really pretty, I’m actually very jealous’ you whispered but before he could reply the sound of someone else’s voice caught your attention.

‘Oi Mase, why are you so red?’ Ben laughed from behind you and the fact that Ben had noticed only made it even worse. ‘Are you blushing?’

‘No, fuck off. It’s the sun’ he retorted, his hands suddenly retreating from your leg as he played with his fingers in his lap and you felt your heart sink a little bit.

‘Ben’ you suddenly heard Carly moan. Drawing his name out in disappointment followed by the sound of a gentle slap to the back of his head. ‘Will you stop it. Leave him alone’

‘What? I’m just-‘

‘No you’re being mean’

‘Come on, let me go make you something’ you smiled softly, standing up and offering him your hand even though you knew it was a bit risky but he took it anyway and let you pull him up before following you into the kitchen. ‘You want anything in particular?’

‘Whatever the chef recommends’ he winked and after a quick look in the cupboards you found everything you needed to make pancakes.

Mason sat and watched as you got everything together, asking if he could help in any way so you passed him a few bananas for him to slice up so they were ready before asking him to get the drinks ready. When you finally placed his food down in front of him he sent you the most appreciative smile and your heart thudded at his wide grin.

‘Thank you, Muffin. These look amazing’ he smiled as you put your plate down opposite him and watched him dig in. You loved waiting for Mason's reactions whenever you made him something to eat as he was always seemingly blown away and this time was no exception. Shovelling it in like he’d been starved for weeks as he let you know how good it was in between mouthfuls.

‘What’s going on here?’ You suddenly heard, turning to see Dec walking in, eyes on your plates as he licked his lips before sitting down next to you. ‘Why is he getting special treatment?’

‘He’s not’ you laughed, cheeks flushing at the thought of being found out. ‘Do you want something?’

‘No thanks, Lauren made me something earlier’ he teased whilst nicking a few blueberries from Masons plate.

‘Why are you moaning then?’ Mason laughed, moving his plate away out of Declan’s reach so he couldn’t take anymore of his food.

‘Cause that looks better than what I had’

‘You wait till I tell Lauren that. You won’t be eating for the rest of the week’ Mason teased, watching Dec’s face drop before standing up.

‘You do that, and I’ll make things difficult for you’ he scoffed before grabbing a few bottles of water out of the fridge. ‘Now hurry up you two, we need someone else for water volleyball’

‘I’ll be out in a minute, y/n can keep score’ Mason told him, sending you a quick wink as if he was acknowledging what you told him earlier and once you were both done he quickly helped you wash up before meeting them outside.

Kayla had also decided to sit this one out so you sat with her, pretending to keep score as you got to know each other a little better and you were pleased to find out how suited to Woody she was. She seemed to really care for him and when Woody jumped out the pool to grab his glasses she blushed as he placed a quick kiss to the top of her head.

‘You and Mason seem sweet together’

‘Oh we’re not together’ You told her, ‘we’re just friends’

‘Oh I’m so sorry’ she panicked, face going ever redder and she tried to hide in her hands but you just laughed which seemed to make her feel better. ‘I just assumed, thinking it was a couples holiday. That’s why I was so confused about you having separate rooms, you seem really close’

‘Its okay, we are pretty close and I think since he’s moved away i just miss him a bit more than usual. It’s nice to be with him again for more than a couple of hours’

‘Oh trust me, Woody doesn’t shut up about him and then every Tuesday at 8pm on the dot they have their little weekly facetime. Sometimes I think I should be worried’

‘You should speak to Lauren about that’ you laughed, watching Mason try and climb on Ben's shoulders so he could reach higher for the ball. ‘I think she’s genuinely worried Dec might leave her for him one day’

After another 20 minutes or so everyone was ready to get out, Woody stealing Kayla away to their own lounger and you’d noticed Mason had sunk down on the one you’d been occupying earlier. His eyes caught yours straight away as he called you back over so you gathered up your things to go and sit by him again.

‘Mase you’re all wet’ you complained as you got there, walking round to his side so you were further away from Carly and Ben and hopefully out of ear shot before watching him shake his hair like a dog as he sent you a lopsided smile.

‘It’s alright, I’ll dry. I wondered if you fancied that nap you spoke about earlier?’ He asked and you couldn’t deny him. Placing your things down on the floor but he was quick to stop you before you tried to lay down. His hand on your thigh to cease your movements causing you to look down at him in confusion. ‘I have conditions, and those are that those shorts and that shirt need to come off’ he told you quietly. Fingers dancing over the backs of your legs as he teased you but you figured two could play at that game.

‘You wish is my command’ you laughed, stepping back and away from him so you could remove the open shirt off your arms before unbuttoning your shorts and pulling them down your legs so you were just left in your white bikini. ‘That better?’

‘Perfect’ he smiled, his tongue darting out of his mouth as he looked you up and down before helping you back onto the lounger. He wasn’t sat down for long though, quickly getting up to pull the umbrella over you so you could both be out of the direct sunlight and you smiled to yourself at the thoughtful gesture. ‘I’ll try and have a think about what I want for lunch next’ he teased, laying beside you as you turned to face each other.

‘Hey Mase, why don’t I have a FaceTime time slot?’

‘What are you on about?’

‘Kayla told me you and Woody facetime every Tuesday at 8 and I bet Dec and Ben have a slot. Where’s mine?’ You teased, watching his face hide in the pillow as he laughed before facing you again with a wide smile.

‘I can add you to the rota. I’ll have my receptionist send over my availability’ he teased but you just rolled your eyes before turning onto your back.

‘Very funny’ you huffed, shutting your eyes as you could feel them becoming heavy but the feeling of Mason's pinkie linking yours made your heart thud and when you opened an eye to look at him he was still on his side but his eyes were shut.

You woke up a little while later pressed up against something warm but soft. Opening your eyes to find yourself laying on Mason's chest with your arm across his waist whilst he rested his hand on your back, dangerously close to your bum.

‘You make sure you’re behaving, Mason’ you whispered, noticing he wasn’t fully asleep and the little chuckle that fell from his lips let you know he’d heard you.

‘I always am’ he smiled. Pressing a light kiss to your forehead as his fingers danced just above the waistline of your bikini bottoms. ‘You’re not a bad sight to wake up to, Muffin’

‘Gee, thanks Mase’ you laughed, attempting to move but he didn’t let you. Holding you tighter to him as he trapped your leg in his and you knew better than to try and escape.

‘Don’t go, I’m comfy’ he breathed so you stayed where you were even though you knew it was risky but by the looks of it everyone else was asleep too so you basked in the feel of him while everyone else napped around the pool.

After you’d made Mason some lunch, you topped up his sun cream and he offered to help you with yours. Your skin tingling as his hands massaged you slightly and you had to bite your lip so you didn’t start laughing.

You and the rest of the girls went off to get dressed early, going all out tonight and the four of you were in the upstairs sitting room so you could do your makeup together before you popped downstairs to slip your outfit on. You hadn’t got dressed up like this in a while and you couldn’t wait to see Mason's reaction to your frilly lemon two piece that was showing off your tan perfectly.

The plan was to meet in the kitchen at seven so at two minutes too, you grabbed your bag and made your way out of your room. Just as you closed the door behind you, Masons opened. Standing there dressed in cargos and a baggy blue button up but his face was a picture. Eyes wide as they scanned your body fully but it was his tongue nearly falling out of his mouth that made you laugh.

‘Do I look alright?’ You asked, giving him a little twirl but the shuddery breath he let out told you all you needed to know.

‘Are you joking? I’m an actual dead man. Have your worn this just to taunt me?’’

‘No, I just thought it looked cute’

‘Well that’s one word for it’ he breathed, letting you walk in front before he gripped your hips and placed a kiss behind your ear. ‘I think yellow might be my new favourite colour’

‘Come on Mase keep your hands to yourself’ you chuckled, a tingle heading straight down your spine at the feel of his lips on your skin and you were hoping there would be more where that came from later.

‘How can I? I know what you’ve got hiding under here now’ he teased but he slowed down on the stairs so it looked like the pair of you weren’t too close.

Once you were out for dinner, Mason sat next to you again and his arm was back around your chair as you all casually chatted amongst yourselves. Laughing and joking as the boys told stories from camps and all the adventures they’d been on and you felt so full of happiness to be there with them enjoying moments like this.

You’d known it all day, but you were so thankful for Mason and his kindness. You knew you wouldn’t be here without him and you were having the best time so when you caught his eye and he sent you a wink, you had to hold yourself to your seat so you didn’t lean over and kiss him.

The club you were all going to wasn’t far and all the girls led the way with the boys trailing behind and it’s like you could feel Mason's eyes on your bum. Feeling his hand on your shoulder as you neared the entrance so he could lead the way in and over to your reserved table.

Carly ordered your drinks, four pornstar martinis showing up a little while after for all the girls as well as a few bottles of some sort of spirit the boys had ordered and you made it your mission to let loose tonight. Accepting as many shots that were thrown your way, even pouring them straight into Carly’s mouth at one point until Mason cut you off for a little bit and even though you sent him a pout you knew he was just looking out for you.

You were buzzed enough to join the girls for a dance, thankfully not being touched up by any random men this time so you could finally let go. Not caring about what you looked like or who was even looking at you in the first place. Just you and your girls having the time of your lives.

You had to take a break eventually, running out of steam so you plonked on a table in your section and Mason appeared as if by magic with a glass of water ready for you.

‘You’re a lifesaver, thank you Mase’ you gasped, gulping the whole glass down as he looked at you with a funny look in his eye.

‘That’s alright, Muffin. You having a good time?’

‘I really am. Honestly thank you so much Mason, I’ll never be able to repay you or say thank you enough for letting me come here’

‘Don’t be silly. You belong here with us’ he teased, bumping his shoulder into yours playfully but you knew he was just feeling a little shy.

He sat with you for the next 15 minutes or so, talking about the boat trip tomorrow and if you were going to be okay on there. Promising if you didn’t like it he’d get you off and you could spend the day on the beach together but you let him know you’d be fine and you were excited as long as you stayed in the middle.

‘Hey Mase, come join the boys’ you suddenly heard Dec shout from not too far away but Mason just scoffed at him.

‘I’m fine here’

‘Mate come on’

‘I’ll come in a minute, I’m in the middle of a conversation’

‘Look mate I’m not gonna lie, you’re ruining my plans’ Dec told him seriously but you both looked back at him unsure as to what he meant. ‘How are we supposed to find y/n a shag when you won’t leave her alone’

‘Dec I’m not here looking for a shag thank you very much’ you laughed. ‘This trip is supposed to be about us spending time together’

‘Yeah yeah whatever, I’ve made it my mission to get you a man’

‘Dec, I don’t need your help’

‘Sure you do now come on, who’s got your eye’

‘I’m not having this conversation with you’ you laughed as Mason finally stood up.

‘I’ll take one for the team and go with him’ Mason laughed, squeezing your thigh gently but as you looked up to Dec you knew he’d seen so Mason quickly scurried away to go and sit with the other guys.

‘I’ve got my eye on you’

‘What do you mean? What have I done now?’

‘I’m not sure yet, but I’m watching you’

The girls were back soon, coming to sit with you so you could order more drinks and take silly selfies before joining the boys again. Noticing Mason was standing just off to the side on the phone and you wondered who he was speaking to before he walked back over, rolling his eyes.

‘Mase? Everything okay?’ Carly asked but he just let out a huff before speaking.

‘No the bloody security alarms going off in the villa. They’ve tried turning it off remotely but they need someone to put a code in. It’s fine it’s not loud or anything and they said it can wait but I’d feel better if I sorted it out. I’ll pop back there now it won’t take me a sec’

‘I’ll come with you, just to be safe’ you offered and even though you could see him trying to hide a smile you knew it would take some convincing.

‘You don’t have to’

‘No these shoes are killing me, I can change them while we’re there’ you replied and that seemed enough for him.

The house wasn’t far away and it was a nice night so you suggested walking, only making it two streets before your shoes became unbearable and Mason noticed straight away.

‘Shall we just get a cab?’ He laughed, pulling his phone out before you even answered but you were grateful for his suggestion. Popping yourself down on the wall next to the pavement so you take them off and the sympathetic smile he was giving you made your heart melt.

‘I’m wearing flats the rest of this week’ you huffed, looking up to find Mason taking a picture of you but he just shrugged when you raised your brow at him.

‘You look cute tonight’ he winked, popping his phone back in his pocket before taking a seat next to you and you knew you were blushing. ‘Cab shouldn’t be much longer’

‘Thanks’ you nodded, pulling your phone out and taking a picture of him unaware and when the flash made him look up you sent him a wink. ‘What? You look cute tonight’

‘Very funny’ he rolled his eyes, before holding his hand out for you to take. Pulling you flush into his side so he could wrap his arm around you. ‘Can I ask you something? About this morning?’

‘Of course, what’s up?’ You asked, unsure of what he wanted to talk about but he seemed a little shy about it.

‘Are you okay? You know after this morning when you were a bit upset? I know you said you needed a nap but I just wanted to make sure you’re fine’ he explained, your heart melting at his concern for you but you knew you’d have to be honest with him now. ‘I know I keep saying it but it really is fine if you don’t wanna carry on-‘

‘No mase, that wasn’t it’ you laughed, resting your hand on his thigh and he smiled at the gesture.

‘What was it then? You can tell me, even if it was me. I just want you to be comfortable with everything’

‘I am, I promise. I just… you said something last night and I couldn’t stop overthinking it but I realised earlier I was being silly and it’s fine. You’ve done nothing Mase, I promise’

‘What did I say?’

‘I’m gonna sound ridiculous’

‘That’s okay, you normally do but I’ve learnt to just go with it’ he joked and you playfully scoffed as he tickled your side.

‘Thanks Mase’

‘I’m kidding, please tell me’

‘Last night, you said you like to keep your customers happy. I don’t know it just felt weird being referred to as a customer of yours and I know that makes no sense but-‘

‘No, it does. Sorry I shouldn't have said that I was just trying to be funny’ he told you, rolling his eyes. ‘I’m sorry Muffin, I didn’t mean anything by it’

‘I know you didn’t, and I didn’t mean to have a strop, like I felt awful for how I spoke to you’

‘Let’s just forget about it yeah’ he laughed, placing a kiss to your forehead but wished he’d kissed somewhere else. ‘But if I say something stupid again just tell me’

‘I will’ you laughed, squeezing his thigh gently. ‘And if I have a strop again please just ignore me’

‘I’ll try. You’re pretty hard to ignore though, Muffin. Especially dressed like this’

You didn’t have time to say anything else, the taxi pulling up and you both jumped in the back seat so you could take the short journey back and before long Mason was carrying you on his back up to the door.

‘I’ll call the people, you change your shoes and we’ll head back, sound good?’

‘Yes sir’ you winked, watching his eyes nearly rolling back in his head at your words.

‘Fuck, don’t do that’ he groaned, laughing as you ran away from him before he could reach for you but the growl that left his lips gave you butterflies.

‘Behave, Mason’ you told him, trying to give him a cheeky smirk. ‘Go sort the alarm and I’ll meet you in a sec like we promised’

You were just pulling on your left shoe when Mason knocked on your open door, turning to find him leaning against the frame with a sweet smile on his face

‘Alarms off’

‘Perfect, I’m good to go now too’

‘You want me to get us a cab back?’

You didn’t have a chance to reply, your phone ringing as you walked out into the hallway to stand by him and as you took it out of your bag you saw Carly calling.

‘Hey, you alright? We’re just leaving now’

‘Yeah good, don't worry about coming back if you don’t want to. Woody is feeling a little fragile so him and Kayla are heading back and we’ll follow shortly. The boys just want to finish their drinks so give us about 40/45 minutes and we’ll be back’

‘Oh okay’ you breathed, looking up at Mason's confused face but the fact you now had some alone time made you smile, much to his confusion. ‘In that case, I think I’m gonna have a shower and head straight to bed then but I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?’

‘Yeah I think we’ll all do the same’ she replied and after a quick goodbye you popped your phone back in your bag before wrapping your arms around Mason's neck.

‘Woodys not well. He’s on the way back with Kayla but we’ve got about 40 minutes until the others get back’

‘Oh really?’ He smiled, wrapping his arms around your waist as he backed you up against the doorframe to your room. ‘You know now that we’re here, we could use this time to our advantage’

‘Oh yeah?’ You teased, running your fingers through the back of his hair as his face got dangerously close to yours. ‘You know I was thinking of taking a shower’

‘Funnily enough so was i’

‘Maybe we could share one? Save water and all that’ you offered, causing him to squeeze your sides playfully.

‘You’re a very smart woman you know’ he winked but he didn’t give you a chance to reply, kissing you with a moan as he tried to back you into your room, kicking the door shut behind him so he could press you up against it. ‘God I hate this no kissing rule. I’ve wanted to do that all day’ he confessed, whispering his words against your neck before pushing himself off of you slightly. ‘Wanted to take this off you all night too’ he mumbled, reaching for your skirt and not caring to look at how to undo it, so you pushed him off with a laugh so you could get it off without ripping it.

‘Well calm down, this was expensive’ you laughed, blushing from his words and how needed he seemed for you but you were just as needy for him too so you carefully unzipped the back and pulled it off before doing the same with the top. Thanking your lucky stars that you remembered to put one of your new underwear sets on and you could see him practically drooling at the sight of you in your strapless lacy set.

‘You’re the biggest tease I’ve ever met in my life’ he breathed, pulling you into his still fully dressed frame and as you let out a little giggle he captured your lips again in a hungry kiss. Feeling his hands dip into the top of your underwear and grip you bum tightly as you moaned into his mouth and you swore you could have stayed there kissing him forever but you didn’t want to wait any longer for him. Reaching to the collar of his shirt so you could start undoing the buttons before trailing your fingers up his body and under the shoulders so you could push it off of him. Feeling him shiver under your touch but he just pulled you closer afterwards so he could feel your warm skin on his.

You were frantic, pulling away from him so you could focus on unbuttoning his trousers but he didn’t seem to want his lips to part from you. Kissing all over your neck and shoulders as you finally pushed them down his hips and to the floor before he hugged your thighs and threw you over his shoulder so he could take you into the bathroom and you squealed as he lifted you. Holding onto him wherever you could before he popped you down and shut the door behind him. Making sure to lock it just in case someone came in on the off chance.

The pair of you quickly rid yourselves of your underwear and walked behind the glass. Giggling like kids as you took each other in your arms so you could pick up where you left off outside the bathroom before Mason broke away, fiddling with the shower panel to make it come on so you used this time to kiss over his chest. Sneakily leaving a little love bite by his nipple before you felt his fingers thread through the back of your hair so he could tug you away and his dark eyes made your knees weak as he tutted softly.

‘Thats naughty’ he whispered, lips attaching to your jaw so he could kiss along up to your ear. ‘Turn around for me’

You did as he asked, turning away from him and walking towards the shower wall as he held your back and walked with you. Propping your hands on the shower wall as he pressed you right up against it, your head turning to the side so you could just about see him over your shoulder before his lips came to your ear.

‘Good girl, that’s it’ he mumbled, placing his knee between your thighs so he could inch them apart. One hand gripping your bum and the other grabbed hold of himself so he could guide himself in. ‘You ready for me?’

‘P-please Masey’ you breathed, hearing him groan one final time before he pushed himself in gently. Knowing there wasn’t much foreplay involved so he needed to take his time but the stretch of him felt delicious. Moaning louder than you’d intended to but the slow movement of his hips were speeding up by the second until he was pounding into you. Your back pressed firmly against his front as he laid some of his weight on you whilst his hands reached round to grab your chest. Slowly kneading your flesh before you felt his teeth ever so slightly sink into your shoulder.

‘M-Mase, fuck that’s so good’ you panted, wanting to grip onto something more tangible as you fingers were slipping on the wet shower walls so you reached behind you to grab onto him and the feeling of your hand on his lower back made him plough into you even harder.

‘Arch your back for me, Muffin’ he asked, pulling your hips away from the wall and with him a step, forcing you to stick your bum even higher in the air before his hand came to hold your waist so he could control you a bit more. ‘That's it’

‘Mase’ you whimpered, this new angle hitting even better. Feeling your knees almost give out but his strong grip was holding you up as he used your body how he wished.

‘You can take it, I know you can’ he panted, the sounds of skin slapping in skin making your brain go foggy but you knew you’d never felt like this before. ‘God you feel so fucking good’

You had no idea Mason had the power to be like this with you, to be rough with his touches yet make you tingle with his praise. You wanted to be good for him, to take what he wanted to give you and make him feel good too and from the way he was moaning and groaning behind you you had a feeling he was enjoying it just as much.

You were close, closer than you wanted to be as you were enjoying this far too much and he must have felt it as he slowed down ever so slightly before pulling out of you and spinning you so your back now pressed against the tiles.

Your eyes followed his every move, letting him hook your leg over his arm so you were more easily accessible before he was pushing back into you. Your hands settling on his shoulders so you could support yourself as his free hand held your waist.

He was taking things much slower this way round. Gently rocking himself in and out of you but you weren’t sure if this pace was better or worse for you as you felt your high build once more.

‘You’re doing so good, I can feel you wanna cum though so just let go for me okay?’

‘Okay’ you whispered, letting him pick his speed up again and it didn’t take much more for you to be tipped over the edge. Moaning his name as he still went at you relentlessly until you felt his hips stutter, a string of curse words falling from his lips before he slumped against you slightly so you could both get your breath back.

‘Was I too much? I was still thinking about you calling me sir just before and I think I just went a little crazy’ he laughed in your ear, pulling out of you with a hiss so he could pull you straight into his arms and under the running water. Your heart thumping at his sweet gesture.

‘No mase, I liked it’ you laughed, holding him around his waist as he did the same to you and you couldn’t help but mirror his shy smile.

‘As long as you’re sure?’

‘Positive’ you winked before he pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead.

You didn’t spend long in there, quickly getting washed and out before meeting Mason in the main part of the bathroom where he was sitting on the closed lid of your loo. Beckoning you over to come and stand in between his legs but as soon as your hands made contact with his skin you knew something was off.

‘Mase, your shoulders look a bit pink’ you told him. His skin feeling hot to the touch and he slightly winced as you stroked his skin.

‘Yeah they feel a little weird I think I’m a bit burnt’

‘Stay there, I’ll put some after sun on for you’ you told him. Reaching for the bottle on the side so you could apply it but you felt bad as soon as he flinched when the cold cream hit his skin so you rubbed it in as soon as possible. Feeling his muscles relax under your fingers as you massaged him slightly before he looked up at you with his big brown eyes.

‘What’s all that stuff up there?’ He asked, nodding to the shelf under your mirror and you smiled when you caught onto what he was referring to.

‘My skincare’

‘Why do you have so much?’

‘We weren’t all blessed with clear and baby soft skin like you unfortunately’ you teased, tapping the end of his nose lightly which caused him to blush. ‘Would you like to try some?’

‘Okay’ he whispered, watching you with curious eyes as you applied various creams and serums to his face. His hands holding the backs of your legs the whole time and when you were done you pressed a light kiss to the end of his nose without even thinking.

‘All done’ you smiled, taking a step back to you could reach for the after sun and start to apply it to yourself but he took it from your hand and stood behind you. Massaging it into your shoulders as you caught eyes in the mirror in front of you.

‘Do you think we need to tone it down a bit?’ You asked, picking up your cleanser so you could start on your own skincare. ‘I don’t want anyone to suspect anything and I’m pretty sure Dec’s picking up on some vibes’

‘I’ll tell him to back off, don’t worry’ he laughed, hands smoothing over your skin still even though the after sun was all rubbed in. ‘Plus if we go too far the other way they’ll be suspicious too’

‘I guess you’re right’ you shrugged, Turing in his arms after applying the last of your moisturiser before covering your face with your hands so he didn't see you yawn.

‘Aww is my little Muffin sleepy’ he teased

‘It’s been a long day’ you defended with a light laugh so hand in hand he walked you to your bedroom door and with a quick kiss to your forehead he walked across the hallway to his room opposite.

‘Oh wait’ he suddenly called, just over the threshold of his room and by the time you looked up he’d removed the towel from his body and was standing there completely naked. ‘You can have this back’ he laughed, throwing it in your direction and thankfully it landed on your head so you couldn’t see him anymore but you heard the door click and the sounds of his muffled laughter ringing through the halls.

y/n

liked by masonmount, laurenfryer_, woody_ and others

y/n yellow to make the boys say hello 💛

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declanrice yeah right you wouldn’t leave our side let alone say hello to anyone. I know your game

y/n wow sorry for wanting to spend time with my friends 🙄 won’t bother next time

laurenfryer_ don’t listen to him girl 😩 we’ve got the whole week to find you a man 😉

masonmount who’s that handsome devil in the last picture?

y/n no idea, I don’t see one

benchilwell I don’t either

woody_ neither do I

masonmount ☹️

okaylaaa girly you look delectable 🤭 like a little lemon cupcake I’m living

y/n SAYS YOU 🥹 you’re actually the cutest

conorgallagher92 Mason I think that shirts a little too big mate

masonmount it’s called fashion

y/n if you say so

conorgallagher92 good to see you in blue 😉

carlywlms_ my beautiful bestie 🥹 so excited for our week together like you don’t understand 🩷

y/n trust me I think I might be more excited than you 😭

masonsprivate hello

y/n 👋🏻🙊

Tagged: @footiehoemcfc @prideofpd @yoursselo @chelseachilly @willow-writer-ivy @mm-vii @katharinanadiaa @mmountseb @carlottawllms @saltyheartnightmare @masonmtxo @harvestmount @chillymountsjess @treblebluesblog @pulisicsgirl @bluesswift @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps

[sugar-grigri]

What is a family?

Hello everyone, I'm in exam period so we're going to start with a very short analysis

We saw in the previous analysis, in chapter 152, that Denji wanted to be a CSM and that suffering, mental and physical pain, was inherent to being a CSM. Suffering was a claim for the protagonist, that of accepting his suffering to the point of finding pleasure in it, that of accepting that experiences can be painful, of not being protected

Especially by Nayuta, the control devil who can only conceive of happiness with one person, and that's enough for her.

But above all, I think that since Denji had accepted the fact of committing himself to the path of suffering, he didn't want Nayuta to join him, hence his desire to keep her away from him.

But what this chapter shows is that a family can't be chosen, it's simply there.

People do what they do, always projecting all their frustrations onto CSM, this faceless chimera. CSM is as much a good-luck charm as a match to be burned for bad luck.

Denji's dream of being seen was full of meaning, because what people see in CSM is precisely their suffering and despair.

Yes, CSM represents suffering - yes, you have to suffer to be him, just as he will only evoke suffering for others.

The contract with the fire demon was simple: become what you want. As he had suggested to Yuko, the thought-hearing monster was suitable for a socially eccentric girl who had trouble understanding others.

So when people try to burn CSM, they're burning what they want CSM to be: their suffering.

The lighter was an image that had already been introduced by Barem, who ironically presented himself as a CSM fan, foreshadowing the fact that many CSM fans had pacted with the demon of fire, fire capable of destroying them in return.

Burning CSM to make the wannabe CSM disappear always comes down to the same logic: CSM is there to save, whether this is done by reigniting him or by killing him.

So the fire is there to atone for the suffering, Denji simply tries to tell them that the fire is already there, burning down his apartment and his Meowy family and the dogs.

Why burn Denji? When he's already burning. He has already lost a part of himself.

Denji proclaims that he seeks suffering because he wants it to be his alone. He realised that even if he stopped being a CSM, those close to him would continue to be attacked as if the cycle had never been completed.

Denji has never had any confidence in himself, obediently following the rules laid down for him every time. Nayuta's rules, which symbolise this apartment, didn't work, and neither did those of the public hunters, because even if you respect the contract, suffering will always be the end result.

So Denji tries to free himself from all these rules, because they don't allow him to escape suffering.

He also tries to free himself from his loved ones, because it doesn't allow them to escape either, but humanity won't let Denji be free.

Denji had made it clear that he didn't want to hurt mankind because he wanted to preserve the last link that bound him to them: the kiss he had with Asa (Yoru). He doesn't want to belong fully to the demons, as Nayuta had recommended, but why not become one after all?

Denji loves violence, even against humans. He likes it because he is still CSM after all, a monster whose raison d'être is suffering. Yet the link that allows him to consider himself still on the other side is a simple kiss that didn't cause him any pain.

Because this kiss is exactly Denji's life, a touch of pleasure in an existence that is always painful. A boy who can't even say he can't betray humanity because he has friends because he has none.

Nayuta has never thought of her existence as separate from Denji's, the reason for her happiness, her beloved big brother. So she is now facing her worst fear: being cut off from this dearest of beings, being rejected by him.

But as they try to keep her away from her ailing brother, telling her he's no longer her family, she realises that this thing that rejects her, that hurts himself horribly, is still her family.

More to the point, it's the person behind this faceless monster who's reaching out to him, because CSM isn't a being capable of embracing with his chainsaws. Denji's arms are outstretched to him, as if he's standing between CSM behaving like a monster and his own anxieties: there's an obvious love there. She shouldn't see her fear in the foreground, what she should see is Denji.

This thing that dares to cut ties with her, to put itself in danger to the point of suffering so much, has never ceased to be her family.

The only way to see anything apart from CSM, apart from this figure of suffering, is to love Denji.

is to see the boy behind it.

A boy who can't stop laughing despite suffering, in a way that may be terrifying, but which gradually gives the impression of a brother forcing himself to smile to avoid putting his sister in danger. Look, I'm crazy, so stay away from me! And I don't want you anyway!

His laughter is as uncontrolled as his gestures, all acting as reflexes to keep Nayuta away from danger.

CSM is a being who belongs to neither world, hero of humanity when it suits them, hero of the underworld terrified by his fellow creatures, he is held responsible for both worlds, the suffering of demons and that of men.

But Denji may not belong to either world, but he does belong to a family.

Denji may not be seen by people, but he has been seen by a demon who loves him deeply.

The hero has always been hunted because he has never been accepted by humanity, suffering while swallowing that of others, he has always had to be rekindled, to serve someone once again.

And finally he's given permission to run away.

No CSM, don't swallow the suffering of others

It's hard enough to swallow your own.

Denji, you are loved by the demon of control who now agrees to do something unnatural for her, to allow you to escape her control, her vigilance, her protection. Because she knows she doesn't have to lock you up in a gilded cage to be able to find you.

A family always waits with open arms, don't they?

[anacdoce]

hii, i don't know if you take requests, but I really like your "hating it" fic and wanted to ask if you could do a follow-up fic with tav teaching astarion how to swim? thanks in advance 🩷

Hello! Yes I can do some requests, feel free to ask!

I'm very glad you asked me this. It was fun to write! Thank you! And I'm sorry if this took a while to answer, but I had to focus on my long fic "I Wish" first.

I hope you enjoy it, and I hope it was worth the wait 🖤

Hating it, but not too much - Part 2

Pairing: Astarion x you (f!reader)

Rating: T

Word count: 1.1k

Summary: It seems like Astarion is going to the beach again. But this time, maybe he isn’t being dragged there—maybe he’s dragging you instead!

a/n: Thank you @casualya for the screenshot! 🖤

This is a follow-up of this oneshot (if you want to read it first).

Lots of love!

Read on oa3

Astarion hated so much that first day on the beach with you, that some days later he asks you to go again. 

“Darling, I don't want you to suffer with all this heat. Maybe you’d like to go to the beach again? You seemed to enjoy it so much…” He tilts his head to the side, trying to look casual.

You glance at him, with a kind of mischievous look on your face. “Oh… I don’t know. You were so uncomfortable…”

“Well, I… hum… don’t you worry about me, my sweet. Anything for you. Go grab your things. I have the towels ready.” 

“And your swimsuit?” You press your lips together, stifling a giggle. 

“I have it.” He replies, distracted. 

“You do?” 

He looks at you frowning. And you can't contain your laughter anymore. Astarion crosses his arms, growling. “Could you stop? You're wasting time.” 

“Sorry, Love. You're right. I would love to go with you to the beach again. I'll grab my things.” 

“Thank you.” He waves his hands in the air, showing his impatience. And he follows you through the house, hurrying you along.

After some time, you arrive at the beach. You choose a spot to place your things on the sand, and when you're about to open your sun umbrella, he stops you. “Put that down. We won't need it. Come.” He holds your hand and leads you towards the sea. 

You don't have time to react, dropping the sun umbrella and following him. He needs to get to the water. The thought has invaded his mind and he wants to try it. You seemed so relaxed when he watched you doing it the other day… It should be simple. But he doesn’t know how… so, he has to ask for your guidance.

You reach the waterline, and today the waves seem to be more gentle than the other day. He keeps holding your hand more tightly than before, and he feels… anxious? Yes. He's anxious. Definitely. 

“Is everything all right?” You ask, seemingly confused.

“No… Well, yes. Everything is fine.” He clears his throat and mutters. “Can you teach me how to swim?” 

But his voice is lost in the middle of so much noise around you. “What? I didn't hear you…”

He snorts, rolling his eyes. Are you really making him repeat himself? “By the Gods, woman! Can you teach me how to swim?” He shouts, startling a couple of tieflings passing nearby in that same instant.  

“Sorry.” You chuckle at them as they walk away, mumbling. Then you turn to him again with a playful smile, ready to tease him, but he stops you right away, placing a finger on your lips.

“Don't you dare, Darling.” He grumps. “Don't you even think about it.” 

You hold his finger, kissing it. “All right, all right. I'll teach you.” You say, chuckling. 

“Will you?” He asks, a bit surprised.

“Yes. But you have to do what I say. And you can't complain about what I'll ask you to do. Deal?” 

Astarion looks at you suspiciously, but you seem serious. “Deal.” He finally agrees. 

Immediately, you lead him to the water, and he follows. With the water up to your waist you stop, and he obverses with attention when you position by his side, placing a hand on his small back. 

“Now, you'll lie down on the water, on your back. I'll make you float first.” 

“You want me to lie on the water? But I'll sink!” He says nervously. 

“What did I say about complaining?” You stare at him and he sighs almost ready to reply, but instead he closes his mouth and frowns to you, resigned. You position again beside him, ready to continue your explanation. 

“You won't sink.” You say with confidence. But he keeps glancing between you and the water. “Do you trust me?”

“I do.” Astarion answers right away.

Then you place your other hand on his shoulder, pressing him to lie down, and he obliges slowly, feeling the cold water refresh his body. 

“You're doing great, my love. Can you extend your legs and arms to the side?” You ask, always with a smile tugging at your lips.

Astarion does as you ask, but always keeping his neck in tension to look at you, not quite confident yet. 

“Good! Perfect, Astarion.” You rub his small back with your thumb to reassure him, while you keep supporting him, preventing him from sinking. Then he feels you rest your other hand on his neck. “You think you can relax your neck? I'm here, my star.” 

And once again, he let you lead him. He presses his neck against your hand. His ears submerged in the water, listening to all the underwater sounds. 

“Flap your hands underwater, gently, and close your eyes, Love.” He hears you say, and he does as you ask. He feels his body so light, floating on the cold water. For a while, he stays there, just floating. The world seems to vanish. It's just him. And you. Wait. Where are you? You're not holding him anymore! Startled, he opens his eyes and begins to move uncontrollably in the water. And there you are, by his side. As soon as he starts splashing, you grab his forearm. 

“Calm down! I'm right here. I never left. You were doing so well, Star. All by yourself.” 

“Was I?” He widens his eyes, surprised.

“You were! Now, do you think you can do it again, but laying on your belly this time?” 

“Can you help me?” He murmurs.

“Of course! I'll place my hand under your belly.” Astarion leans into the water, waiting for you to guide him. And you help him, as promised. “Lift your chin up. Yes, like that! Now, flap your arms, like before, and your legs. You're going to swim, my love.” And he smiles. So grateful. 

For a long while, you stay there with him, teaching him, making him believe once again that he can do anything he wants.

He'll cherish this day forever. The first time he swam. And he'll never forget your smile. Your smile, full of pride. Pride for him. Pride for his accomplishments. Never did he think of having someone in his life to be proud of him. But every day, you showed him otherwise.

You’re a treasure.

His treasure. 

How lucky he is to have someone like you. Someone who he can count on for anything. Even for the small and insignificant things. Even for teaching him how to swim. 

Thank you so much for reading my story. Likes, reblogs and comments are very welcomed!

Tagging: @wilteddreamsofbaldursgate <3

[55sturn]

✮ TO KNOW THINGS LIKE LOVE 0.2

pairing: matt sturniolo × female!reader (past tense)

synopsis: in which matt’s life is turned upside down in a split second and it leaves him a shell of the person he uses to be.

warnings: angst. angst. angst. ANGSTTTTT. death of main character, car crash, panic attacks, funeral, matt being absolutely heartbroken, broken relationship with hygiene and food, survivors guilt, suicide contemplation, no happy endings, get your tissues ready.

if you or a loved one is suffering from suicidal ideations, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me, to a friend, to a professional, or your regional/national suicide hotline from this list. the world is a better place with you in it and you are so loved.

THIRD PERSON POV

matt smiled at his girlfriend, hold the door open for her, as she made her way down the stairs leading from her front door.

“hey pretty lady.” matt whispered, making her playfully roll her eyes at the corniness of his actions, but the affection and intention behind his words and actions made her heart swell deep in her chest.

“you’re such a goof.” she laughed, pressing a quick kiss to his lips as she reached him, her way to say hello while simultaneously thanking him for being such a gentleman.

the two sat in comfortable and peaceful silence as they slowly made their way toward matt’s top secret date destination of the night. y/n couldn’t help but notice the way matt kept chewing his nails as he weaved his way down the busy los angeles roads. smiling, she wordlessly took his hand away from his mouth and intertwined their fingers.

“baby what’s wrong?”

“i’m just nervous honey, that’s all.”

“why?” she hummed, watching as they made their way into the turning lane, waiting a couple of cars away from the intersection.

“because i love you and i really need tonight to go well.” matt smiled, his plan of proposing staying well hidden in the back of his mind.

“baby, i love you so much that i would be fine if we ended up at some greasy fast food restaurant. i’d go anywhere with you.” she laughed, the sound easing his worries as he began to move his car forward.

“baby i love you t-.” matt started, attempting to pull up to the line before the intersection, but was soon cut off, watching in horror as a car barrelled toward his, his hand squeezing her as they had no time to move before the sickening sound of squealing rubber and breaking glass filled the air.

for a moment, matt struggled to open his eyes, the sharp ringing in his ears causing such a strong vibration that it was impossible for him to focus. taking in his surroundings, he realized his car had been pushed into the one beside him, the damage on his was minimal but still severe enough to write off the car. as he turned his head, it was as if all time had stopped. rushing to unbuckle himself, he pushed himself up in his seat, reaching to press the fingers of his free hand to y/n’s throat, struggling to find a pulse.

he pressed his fingers to every pulse point he could reach, not one single thump was found. his hand that still held hers started to tremble as he tapped her face lightly, watching as her head fell limp to her opposite shoulder.

“no, n-no baby, c’mon. wake up please.” he stuttered, thrashing around in his seat as people were able to successfully push the smaller car on his side out of the way, reaching him.

“sir are you okay?”

“yes but i think my girlfriend’s dead. she’s not breathing and i can’t find a pulse. please call for help.”

“the police and ambulance are on their way. do you want help getting out?” the stranger asked, reaching for the handle.

“no! i’m not fucking leaving her.” he screamed, running a shaky hand through his hair.

AFTER THE CRASH

matt sat on the curb, covered in a blanket watching as the coroners wheeled his girlfriend away in a body bag. abruptly, he stood up and keeled over, bracing himself up his hands and knees as he emptied the contents of his stomach for a third time since getting pulled out of his car.

matt had already talked to officers and every person that had questions for him, explaining in detail what happened as he waited for nick and chris. his injuries had been checked and cleaned and he had been cleared to wait on the curb.

the sound of glass breaking echoed in his mind, thankful in some sick way that y/n went quickly, not being able to stomach the thought of her screaming in agony. he never wanted to be in pain and he prayed that the few fleeting moments she had before she went were painless. the sound of nick and chris yelling brought him out of his traumatized stupor as he rose to his feet, quickly barrelling through the crowd of people into his brothers’ arms.

“matt what happened? where’s y/n.”

“a car came out of nowhere and hit her side and she-she’s gone.” matt sobbed, his knees crumbling beneath him as his brothers held him for support, their own hearts breaking for him.

“oh matt, i’m so sorry.” nick soothed, his voice cracking as they realized the severity of what had happened.

TWO WEEKS LATER

the triplets had flown home back to boston on separate private flights, per their requests. news had broken out about matt’s car crash and they weren’t ready to deal with the stares.

over the two weeks of preparation for the funeral, matt had drastically fallen apart. he wasn’t eating, wasn’t showering, and he has even contemplated taking his own life multiple times. but he couldn’t go through with it. he knew he had to live for y/n, carry on her love for life and everything it brought, no matter how hard it was for him.

matt had opted to fly home with y/n’s parents and her casket on a private jet that the hospital provided for them. not much was said or heard on the flight home aside from y/n’s mother’s and matt’s sniffles. matt had held tightly onto her mom’s hand the entire flight home. he had agreed to speak on her behalf at her funeral that was planned for the day after they arrived home

matt sighed as he straightened his tie, one that y/n had picked out out for him the night of her formal event at the university she was attending. it was a pale blue, almost silver, and she had claimed it matched his eyes perfectly. sadly he smiled at the piece of fabric before picking up his speech.

he left the small room that the funeral services had provided for him to prepare himself in and headed for the staircase at the end of the hall. as he made his way down the stairs, he was met with his brothers and y/n’s sister. after reassuring nick and chris that he could handle this, he turned to y/s/n and took a shaky breath.

“y/s/n i am so sorry, i meant to check in with you yesterday but being home was just too much.”

“matt, don’t you dare apologize. you are dealing with the worst thing imaginable. i wasn’t even there with her and i can’t even get myself to leave the house most days.” she whispered, tears falling from her eyes as she pulled the middle triplet into a tight hug.

“i miss her so much.”

“i know matty, i do too.” she spoke softly, patting him on the shoulder before making her way to where her parents were going to be sitting. matt took a seat at the back of the room as they began the service. matt stayed in his seat until he was called to the front. sighing he grasped the edges of the lectern, his speech laid out in front of him before he crumpled it, deciding to speak from the heart.

“hello everyone, i am matt sturniolo. most of you may know me as y/n’s boyfriend, some of you may know me as the guy she wouldn’t stop talking about all throughout high school even when we got together in tenth grade.” he laughed sadly, earning a few laughs from the people in front of him.

“we are here today,-“ he paused, clearing his throat as tears welled in his eyes,

“to celebrate the life of y/n m/n l/n. she was, and still is, pretty much always will be one of a kind. she was the love of my life. i was actually going to propose to her that night. and there was a time that i thought i would know her forever, but now i will just know her memory, and while that breaks my heart. it will be an honour to carry her memory with me forever. there are many stories i could tell you about her but i think she would curse me from above if i told those stories in front of her parents. i don’t think i can get through much more of this without falling apart so i will leave you with this, everyone in this room has had the pleasure of knowing such an incredible, gentle soul. if you were loved by y/n, you knew it. she might not have said it outright but you could feel her love for you in everything she did or said. she had such a big heart and did anything she could to share it. some may say it was a curse to love so deeply, but not y/n. god she always looked at it like it was her sole purpose in life. she treated it like it was breathing. loving any and every thing was second nature to her. and i hope, that i can spread even half as much as she did.” matt spoke softly, not bothering to wipe the tears that fell down his face as he turned to face her casket,

“y/n, my love, i will always cherish everything you have said and done for me, and i will love you in this lifetime and the next, may we meet again.”

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