#yes he technically has the emo bangs there too

[purecommemasolitude]

l'assasymphonie mv salieri is an underrated salieri tbh. "emo bangs" this "flonytail" that where is the love for Sad Wet Cat Salieri

[jungshookz]

oof ok laid ease and jean tell men,,,, twins yoongi and yoonji,, both having the same crush on y/n 👀👀 yoongi is like the music student that all the gals sWoOn over bc he plays piano in a room alone after school type deal,, while Yoonji is the edgy sister wHo dOesN’T cOnfOrm tO sOciEty but is secretly soft uwu and when they both find out they got the same crush it’s like the spiderman meme and now they gotta Fight To The Death

→ pairing: min yoongi x reader x min yoonji 

→ genre: let’s be real this is crackhead culture..,, boTh the mins are infatuated with u + i lov yoonji 

→ wordcount: 1.9k

(gif isn’t mine!)

“what do you mean you have a crush on y/n??” the question slips out from both the twins’ mouths at the same time

they pull back and blink at each other

yoonji is the first one to snap out of it

she flicks a strand of dark hair off her shoulder before raising a perfectly arched brow “you’re going to have to back off”

“over my dead body”

“..,,.i have a gun in my bag”  

yoongi scoffs immediately and rolls his eyes

“when did you start liking her?” yoongi asks curiously because the whole romAnCe thing is very…noT yoonji

yoonji’s never evEr mentioned having a crush on anyone ever before even though they have a pretty solid sibling-ship

“that’s none of your business.”

ah

yes

a very classic yoonji response

yoongi scowls and plops down on the couch

“move over, you’re sitting in my spot.” yoongi shuffles over and yoonji plops herself down

a beat of silence goes by

yoongi clears his throat

“look, sis. you can’t have a crush on y/n because i have a crush on y/n and if we both have a crush on y/n then that means-“

“that we’re going to have to fight to the death?”

“-no, it means that eventually she’s going to have to choose one of us and i don’t want you to be devastated and completely heartbroken when she chooses me over you. we shouldn’t let a girl come in between us!”

yoonji snorts in response and props an elbow up on the arm of the couch

“i hate to break it to you but you’re going to be the heartbroken one. you have one class with her this year - i have three with her, and we both write for the school newspaper. did i mention we grab lunch together pretty frequently seeing that our schedules fit perfectly with each others?” yoonji inspects her cuticles before glancing over at her brother with a smirk “and what makes you think y/n’s interested in you, mr. ‘i play piano because i’m sad but also i just want to impress all the girls’, hm? y/n’s not into that.”

“says miss ‘i have a gun in my bag’.”  

“i’m pretty sure she has a thing for bad girls and not emo boys”

“how about this?” yoongi crosses his arms and leans back against the couch “if you manage to score a date with y/n before i do, i’ll respectfully back off. but if i manage to score a date with y/n before you do, you respectfully back off. whoever gets the girl, gets the girl - fair and square.”

yoongi’s pretty confident that you’re going to end up with him so he has no problems dealing his cards

he’s attractive and smart anD talented and he can turn on the charm in any situation

and you just so happen to be attractive and smart and talented and adorable so it’s almost like you guys are meant to be!!

meanwhile yoonji is..,., well he’s biased because they’re technically identical twins so she’s like pretty-ish buT she’s kind of a bitch to people so like

he’ll be fine

yoonji’s eyes flicker up and she pokes her tongue into her cheek before turning to face yoongi fully and sticking her hand out “deal. get used to the taste of failure.”

and so it begins

“what are you doing here so early?” when you walk into the lecture you’re surprised to see yoonji sitting on the side scrolling through her phone  

here’s a little backstory regarding your friendship with yoonji

you were running late (it was only 2 minutes but late is laTE) and the prof had already started his lecture and you didn’t want to make that awkward journey down the steps of the lecture hall while looking around trying to find a spot for yourself so now you’re kind of just standing at the back with your eyes darting everywhere

“christ, just sit here.” you jump in surprise when someone tugs at your wrist and you look down to see this anGRy looking girl glaring right back up at you

she raises a brow before grabbing her backpack off the seat and dumping it next to her on the ground

ok

a little scary

but a free seat is a free seat

“thank you so much” you whisper before sitting down and quickly pulling your notebook and your pencils and note-taking markers out (you were a very eager learner at the beginning of the year lol)

yoongi snorts in humour when a couple of your markers roll away from you and clatter onto the floor in your excitement to get everything ouT

she bends down to pick two up and-

wha-

you labelled each of your markers with your name

“y/n.” she tests your name on her tongue

and in that moment

she decides that she quite likes your name

“yes?” you turn to look at her before your eyes flicker down to the markers in her slender fingers “oh! thanks! did you wanna borrow one?”

“no-“

“here, you look like a dark purple kinda gal.” you rifle through your pencil case before holding a marker up for her and plucking the other two from her “i feel like neon green and bright pink don’t suit you”  

huh

you are a very peculiar girl

“they gave me two hot chocolates instead of one” yoonji ignores your question and holds out a cup of hot chocolate for you as you sit down next to her

that’s a blatant lie

yoonji knows you like hot chocolate when it’s cold out and she always gets u a hot chocolate

“again?? they really need to start paying attention when taking orders - i’m not complaining, though!” your fingers brush over hers as you take it from her and she feels a little zap

“you look cute today, by the way.” you hum before reaching over to poke at the little braid intertwined in yoonji’s raven locks “who are you dressing up for?” you giggle with a teasing smile and yoonji’s heart goes boom-boom because yeAh she might’ve spruced up her hairstyle and put on an extra layer of lip gloss for u but whATEVER okAY

“anyways i don’t really mind what we get for lunch today because i’m starving and i just need- oOh-!” yoonji’s eyes widen when you suddenly stumble into someone and-

“are you okay?”

oh my god

OF COURSE

OF FUCKIGN COURSE IT’S YOONGI

yoonji can’t help but roll her eyes because she knows for a fact that yoongi just stood outside the lecture hall and waiTEd for you to appear and conveniently triP into his slimy noodle arms

“shit, sorry yoongi!” yoongi still has an arm wrapped around your waist while your hands clutch at his arms “god, i didn’t even see you there!”

“your shoelaces are untied again, y/n. we can’t have you tripping all over campus, can we?” yoongi unravels himself from you before bending down to help you with your laces

now

here’s the backstory regarding your friendship with yoongi

you usually like to study at the library

but on that particular day they had closed the library a little earlier than usual

and you knew that if you went back to study in your dorm room you’d probably just end up watching netflix and eating junk food for the next six hours instead of studying for your midterm

so now you’re just wandering the hallway of the music building because it was conveniently the closest building to the library

and as you make your way further down the hallway

you start to hear some music

it’s a gentle melody

soft and enticing

and soon enough you find yourself peering into the classroom staring at the back of this stranger’s head just watching as his fingers dance along the piano

you feel like you know him

it takes a couple seconds for it to sink it but then you realise who it is you’re creEpiLY staring at

min yoongi

you’ve heard his name bounce around campus more than a few times

“you know it’s rude to stare, right?” you snap out of it when the his fingers stop on the piano and he turns his head slightly

“oh, i wasn’t-“ you perk up immediately and feel the apples of your cheeks warming almost instantly

“you totally were.” he turns his head all the way and offers you a smirk

“i just wanted to find a spare classroom to study in…”  you clear your throat and step into the classroom slowly “i, uh… didn’t peg for you to be a ‘swan lake’ kinda guy. mind if i whack something out real quick?”  

yoongi raises a brow

usually the girls who approach him are all giggly and they pretend like they loOOovE the piano just like him and most of the time they ask him to play like an ariana grande song or something (although he will admit ‘one last time’ sounds beautiful on the piano)

“be my guest.” yoongi shuffles over a little and pats next to him

you smile and drop your bag on the floor before sitting yourself down and giving your knuckles a quick crack

your fingers land lightly on the keys and your brows furrow together in concentration

and then…

,.,.IS THIS HOT CROSS BUNS

you’re snickering to yourself as you bang on the keys and continue playing hot cross buns and yoongi can’t stop the fat grin twitching at the corner of his mouth

you are…. a very peculiar girl

“don’t you have somewhere else to be?” the moment yoongi finishes tying your laces up yoongi grabs your wrist and pulls you backwards a little bit

she loops her arm with yours

“no, i don’t!” yoongi shrugs casually “are you guys grabbing lunch?”

“yes, we’re grabbing lunch together.” yoonji can already predict what’s going to come out of your mouth

“well, c’mon then! let’s all go grab some food before i die of starvation.” you loop your arm with yoongi’s and tug her along and yoonji resists the urge to roll her eyes when yoongi smirks and offers her a look that suggests ‘huh, look at that. she wants me there too’

cuRse your need to include everybody

and as you’re blabbing about all the food that you’re wanting to shoVe into your mouth during lunch

you’re blissfully unaware of the angry glares that the min twins are sending each other

it’s almost funny how oblivious you are to how infatuated the twins are when it comes to you 

yoongi keeps offering you bites of his food which you accept happily   

yoonji wipes a dollop of ketchup from the corner of your mouth off with a napkin 

yoongi not-so-casually places a hand on your knee and yoonji reaches behind your back so that she can pinch her brother’s side 

they’re both willing to fight to the death if the end prize is you

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

masterlist

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #265

“all is fair in love and war, i’m still rotten to the core.”

What's the latest youtube channel you've discovered and binge-watched? Ha, a WoW channel that basically gives advice and tutorials on stuff. She doesn't have many videos, but she's pretty successful already and chill as hell. Kraken Latte. Does it snow where you live? Occasionally. Very rarely does the snow stick, though, because the ground will be too warm. Do you think your hair looks better long or short? Short. Do you look best with or without bangs? Bitch I loved my emo bangs fuck off. Well, they weren't technically bangs, my hair was just parted far to the left. Do you enjoy editing photos on your phone? Well, my phone doesn't have GREAT camera quality, but I usually do some subtle edits if I take a pic on it. What's your favorite thing to do on your phone? Play Pokemon GO REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Which season do you wish would last longer? Shit man, fall. At least here, the phase of colorful leaves is VERY short. Goes from green to totally bare in what feels like just a couple weeks. How many outdoor birthday parties have you had? Hell if I know. How much taller or shorter are you than your mom? We're the same height. Who is your favorite sibling? Lol wow that's mean. Do you have neat handwriting? Yeah. Do you like sushi? I've actually never tried it, but I'm quite certain I wouldn't like it. Have you ever tried seaweed? Actually yes, I believe in the 4th grade? We had I think authentic Japanese (or Chinese, idr) food, and I recall there being seaweed. I didn't like it. The only thing I liked was the white rice, I think. Do you have an actual pig-shaped piggy bank? No, but I think I may have as a kiddo. Did you dream of becoming famous as a kid? No. Have you ever been to a gynecologist? I actually haven't because I've always said I wasn't sexually active (back then it wasn't a conscious lie, I just genuinely didn't realize what we were doing was just shallow sex). I'm absolutely terrified to go anyway because I'm just very very very private about this sort of thing and honestly think I'll have a panic attack when I do have to for the first time anyway. Name three games that you are good at. Shadow of the Colossus, Silent Hill, World of Warcraft. What was your favorite board game as a kid? Ha ha, somehow, it was this shopping game called "Mall Madness." Veeeery unfitting of who I was and what I enjoyed as a kid. Do you get on Facebook every day? Pretty much. Did you watch the Kids Choice Awards when you were a kid? No. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Spice Girls, I think. Do you have memories that still make you cry? Yes. Have you made your own mask to help prevent the spread of the virus? No, considering I don't leave the damn house like ever. Do you know anyone who has the virus? Yes. Not personally, but distantly. Are you proud to be an American? (if applicable) Sometimes. What countries have you visited? I haven't left America. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No. How many true heartbreaks have you had in your lifetime? Romantically, I only consider one to be a *real* heartbreak. Have you ever cut yourself? Yeah. Do you feel like everything is falling apart around you? BOY DO I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Was your first kiss romantic? Yes. Do you miss any of your exes right now? My PTSD has been awful awful AWFUL the past few days, so yes. A lot. Have you ever overdosed on anything? Yes. What would you say if you found out your last ex was in a relationship? I'd be happy for her of course, but I'd also be very confused. She's made it clear she doesn't believe a relationship is the best idea for her right now. Who was your date to prom? Jason took me to his senior prom, and I took him to mine. Do you still talk to your first love? No, I haven't spoken to him in over three years now. Wow. Whose wedding did you go to first? I don't remember. I'm sure it wasn't the first, but ONE of the earliest that I do remember was when my friend Summer's mom got remarried. He sadly passed away a long while ago though. Are you ashamed of anyone you've dated in the past? Tyler, yes. It was so pointless and a "let's see how this goes" versus a "I really like this guy and really want this relationship" thing. I honestly think I only said yes to dating because I didn't want to hurt his feelings and I was lonely. What about anyone you've been friends with? There were certainly times it felt very weird calling Colleen my best friend with how bitchy she could be. Especially when you consider how non-confrontational I am, while she charged like a goddamn bull into arguments. Have you ever made out with someone in a pool? Uhhh I think that one night when I lived at the apartment and it was just us out there late at night. He and I went back inside before Jacob and Amanda TO hardcore make out because we both way too obviously wanted it so I wouldn't be remotely surprised if we snuck in some action at the pool oof. Who’s the last person that slept over your house? Sara. Do you still talk to the last person you kissed? Yes. Have you ever kissed someone with a tongue ring? No, I was the person with the tongue ring. I actually took it out a little while back because I was tired of accidentally chomping down on it when eating and chipping teeth. I'd already told myself if I did it one more time I would, and especially right now, we can't afford to keep filling cavities that have come from it. I don't at all regret getting it and it'll always be one of the cutest piercings I think I've ever had, but it was just time for it to come out. Is it hard for you to get over a lover? I THINK I'VE MADE THAT!!!!!!!!!!! O BVIO US S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever tried making someone jealous? Not to my recollection. Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person? Both of us really, but she initiated the breakup, you could say. Who is the last person you flirted with? Sara. Who's the most racist person you know? Jesus Christ, I live in the South. I know dozens of racists. I guess the worst is uhhh OH the aforementioned Colleen, holy fucking shit. I highly highly highly doubt that has changed at all since we last associated with each other. If you could be a film character, who would you be? Let me be Alice Liddell. Crunchy peanut butter or smooth? Smooth is the only way to go with pb. Would you rather always be in a crowd, or be the only person on earth? "Always be in a crowd. It wouldn’t be fun, but I think it’d be better than being that alone." <<<< This. I legitimately think I'd wind up killing myself in the other case. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Why? "Rich, because...what’s the point of being famous if you’re not rich? Just everyone knowing all of your business?" <<<< Also this. Do you squeeze the toothpaste from the top or the bottom? "I start off from the top until it gets used enough that I have to squeeze up from the bottom." <<<< Lemme just steal all this person's answers lmao. How many children do you want? Girls or boys? None, but if I was to have kids, I'd definitely want a girl. Is there a story behind your name? What is it? No. What was one of the most fun things you and your college roommate did together? I didn't have a college roommate. Well wait no, during my first college attempt is when I lived w/ Jason, Jacob, and Amanda. I'd honestly prefer to not think too hard back on it to answer this. Does anyone know your bank pin number other than you? Who? I don't even have a bank account. Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed? Yeah, multiple. Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? Pads or tampons, nah. I'd feel awkward buying condoms though. Are your parents gullible? Dad probably is; he has very little common sense. I got it from him lmao. Mom, heeeeell no. Do you still own a VCR? No. What color is the computer/laptop you’re on? Did you buy it yourself? It's black. No. Does the smell of cigarettes, weed and beer repulse you? All three do. Was the last person you kissed younger or older than you? Younger. Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Yeah. How often do you drink Monster? Never, because I don't like it. Have you ever made totally pointless videos with your friends? HAHA I was a cringy teen once, my friends. Do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth? Inside. I feel safer. Do you own a nightgown? No, I haven't worn those since I was a kid. Have you ever worn fishnets? Fishnet gloves. I WISH I could pull off fishnet pants. Would you rather go out to eat or be eaten out? In times like THESE???????? Bitch I wanna go eat out at a yummy restaurant. Do you always wear your seat belt? ABSOLUTELY. I get so stressed out when I see people not wearing one. Have you ever liked someone much older than you? Not much older. Have you ever been in a play? Just school ones as a kid. Is there ice cream in your freezer? No, but there's popsicles from when I couldn't get my tongue ring out and it was massively swollen and in terrible pain. Thank God I finally got it out. Have you ever liked the lyrics of a band but hated the music? Probably. Does your bathroom have a window? Yeah, but it's very small and up kinda high. Do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? I used to, but I don't anymore. I just leave them be. Do you believe prayer really works? Nope. Have you been on a date in the park? No. Are there any diseases/health problems that run in your family? A whole. Fucking. Lot. To just name a few, depression, high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, diabetes... Do you have asthma? No. Last person to take off your pants, besides you? Jason. Least favorite alcoholic drink? Mother of God, this white wine I tried at Colleen's forever ago. It was fucking repulsive. How did you meet the last male you texted? I mean I literally came from his balls so like Have you ever had an embarrassing email address? Ha ha yeah, the one I've always had. It's not very adult-ish or "serious"-sounding, but I don't want to change it now. Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand? Left. I squeeze with my right. Do you have a bull ring through your nose? No, I don't feel that would look good on me. Do you and your dad get along? Yes. When was the last time you did clay work/pottery? My last year of art in high school. I made an anatomical heart for Jason. I wonder a lot if he still has it after how much work I put into it. Do you like art, hate it or just not mind it? I adore art. The world would be so much more boring without it. If you had to choose would you prefer dull pain for 12hours or sharp for 2? Ew, dull. Two hours with sharp pain sounds awful. Do you know the words to the national anthem of your country? Yeah. Would you rather be a Model, Famous Scientist, Singer or Chef? Scientist, probably. I'd love to be a biologist anyway, and that's a type of scientist. Would you rather be a pilot, crime scene investigator or estate agent? Ohhh, crime scene investigator. Does making others happy really make you feel happy? Yes! Did you ever swear at a teacher in school? Why? No. Have you ever pricked your finger on Holly or another ‘sharp’ plant? Yeah. Have you ever written your own short story? Yes. What about a novel? Or perhaps you started and couldn’t finish? "I started writing several novels, but abandoned them all." <<<< Same yo. Either of the above, if this was the case, place short synopsis here: The first one was about a very close meerkat family, divided into elemental "breeds," and the prince falling in love with another of his kind. His father had a stray brother who constantly aimed to destroy the family, but he was converted towards the end. That's all I can really remember about that one. There were others like two species of animals I made also falling in love, despite being predators and prey of each other, and fulfilling some sorta prophecy with their offspring. The other two I recall- yo fuck it I keep remember more and more okay I wrote a LOT. Do you prefer SciFi/Fantasy/Action/Horror or Rom/Com/RealLife? I'm guessing you mean in books, given the last three questions? I have a strong preference for fantasy. What do you have a lot of faith in [note: can be anything]? Hell if I know. Would you rather have a big house, a lot of kids or a high flying job? High flying job, easily. I don't want kids, nor do I need a large house, especially considering I hate cleaning even this tiny one. Have you ever been to a creepy/haunted/abandoned place? Yeah. What did it look like and what were the circumstances? It was this really old, mostly dilapidated shack full of cool stuff. It was by the field near our old house. Me, my sister, and our friend hung out there and explored all the time until this freaky woman showed out and told us we shouldn't be there. Do you know a Jack? What’s he like? Yeah. I don't him that well though, so idk. How about a Lisa? What’s she like? Yeah, she's one of my WoW friends that I've become really close with. She is an absolute sweetheart, but talks about herself way, way too excessively to the point it's hard to have a conversation sometimes. I know she doesn't realize it, though. When you have children, would you like twins? I say enough that I don't even want kids, SO FUCK NO. Do you know any twins? If so, what are they called? Yes. Tyler and Taylor. I know others, but idr their names. What personality trait does nearly everyone in your family seem to have? We're stubborn as all fuck hell. Do you have any nicknames that aren’t derived from your actual name? Yeah, some online ones and then my mom has called me "Twinkie" since I was a baby. Do you have any allergies? Yeah, of pollen and silver. What is the longest your hair has ever been? To or maybe even past the small of my back. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not my jam. What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear and how old is it? I really don't kn- oh yes I do. I have these oooold old thin and sewn-back-up-fifty-times Batman pj pants from when Jason and I were together, so maybe like... seven years? Thanks PTSD, I'm attached to them because Batman was his thing. How often do you eat out at a fancy restaurant? Just about never. Nutella or peanut butter? UGGGGGHHHHH I've been on a nutella thing lately. Have you ever hosted a wild party? Definitely not. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it? Wings of Fire: The Lost Heir by Tui Sutherland. Yes, it was very good. How many of your Facebook friends do you actually hang with? Besides my immediate family, like... none anymore. Have you ever donated blood? Yes. From 1-10, how much do you like decorating for holidays? This is hard to gauge. I've never seriously done it myself, and I don't really have the motivation to do it just to take it all down a month or so later. I love it in concept, but yeah. Favorite animated Disney character? Probably Kiara from TLK2. Have you ever cooked a big family meal by yourself? Ha, no. Favorite winter activity? TAKING PICTURES IN THE SNOOOOOOOOW. Do you consider rapping singing? I mean I guess? Does your home have a fireplace? No. Do you listen to any religious music? No. Do you drink soda? If so, which one is your favorite? Ugh... soda is my weakness. I'd probably lose weight easier if I just stopped drinking it. Mountain Dew Voltage is my favorite, and I've also been on a serious strawberry Sunkist thing lately. How easily do you cry? I cry very, very easily. Can you handle spicy foods? What is your spice limit? Oh yeah. The only way I know how to gauge this one is that I enjoy the "hot" sauce at BWW lol. I've actually kinda cut back on HOW much I enjoy it, though; like I'm more into enjoying my food thoroughly lately than the adrenaline of spicy food. What day of the week is laundry day for you? I personally don't do the laundry because Mom prefers to just do ours together, so. It varies, I think. Have you ever played spin the bottle? No. Do you have any stickers on your laptop computer? If so, what are they of? Not on mine, but the one I currently have to use has tooons. I don't feel like looking at the lid trying to list what they are tho. How often do you say "y'all?" It's pretty much in my normal vernacular due to where I live. Do you believe in evolution? Yes. I have questions and curiosities about it, but when you consider how truly short it has been since considerable natural selection has been observed, why couldn't it exist on a bigger scale? Do you live in an apartment or a house? I live in a house. How long have you been at your current job? I'm unemployed. Have you ever ended a romantic relationship? Yes. Phrase you say the most? Probably "oof" lmao. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same gender? If so, did you like it? Yes and yes. Have you ever given anyone CPR? No. Have you ever learned to do anything from a how-to video on YouTube? Yes, mainly just editing stuff. Have you ever auditioned for a reality competition show? No. Have you ever been in the audience for the taping of a TV show? No. I've been at hockey games with Dad, but I don't consider those "TV shows." Have you ever given money to a street performer? I've never even seen one. Do you own any homemade clothing? Not that I know of. Have you ever bought anything from a flea market? Yeah, decorations 'n trinkets and stuff. I love flea markets. Have you ever quit a job? Yes. Are your birth parents together? No. Do you or have you ever worn glasses? I've worn glasses for years now. Have you ever been broken up with? AKA died in spirit? :^) Have you ever been the victim of a nasty prank? Not to my recolleciton. Favorite fandom? Y'all been known, the Markiplier fandom is a goddamn family. Can you surf? No. What motivates you to do well in life? The knowledge that I've most likely only got one life to make something of. How lucky do you consider yourself? I mean, ALL things considered, I'd say I'm at just below the baseline, maybe? I mean I could be homeless or dying of malaria or something. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? No. Favorite summer activity? Swimming! Have you ever lived on a farm? No. I wanted to for years as a little kid, though. How often do you get mad at yourself? I've lately been in an almost constant state of anger regarding myself, honestly. Have you ever gotten any stitches? Yes. Favorite YouTube channel? The Marker Plier guy. Do you have a pool at your house? No. Last thing that made you laugh? Something on Game Grumps. Earbud or earmuff headphones? Earbuds. Earmuffs hurt my head and ears. Have you ever been a bridesmaid or a groomsman? Yes. Have you ever gotten a New Year’s kiss exactly at midnight? I don't think so. Have you ever voted for a reality competition show? The only time I did that I remember is when Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. won America's Got Talent. I adored him and voted like mad. Does anyone in your family currently serve in your country’s military? Ummm maybe distantly? I don't know anyone off the top of my head. Are you comfortable with watching rated R movies? Well yeah.

[sabaku-no-livna]

Is your oc a Mary Sue ?

Okay I created this test back in 2016 on the french fandom, for the french fandom but its still so funny so if you want to try that test, please do. Don’t take it bad if your oc has several points doesn't make her Mary Sue and again these are only the clichés I noted, doesn't mean I got the absolute science on how to make a good OC and that my OCs does not correspond to these clichés or arn’t Mary Sues. Beware this test is full of sarcasm and second degree. Anyways ! Enjoy !

I. The design  of the OC  For your OC to be shitty, appearance is primordial. Therefor, I made you a list of clichés that you can try to cumulate to create a perfect Mary Sue. Are you ready ? At the end we’ll count the M.S points of our own Oc.  ღ Spiky hair, must be long, more likely black, red, yellow, with two colors that MUST be extra saturated ! You can take your favorite color if you want, it will work. Why thinking further ? xD  If you put two colors, make sure they clash with each other. Your hair style must be edgy, emo, so 2012 fashion with some bangs in front of the eye, nothing original please. Its weird to be original. AND WE DON’T WANT THAT. 

ღ  Piercings and tattoos are SWAG. But not any piercings or tattoo ! The labret is swag, the septum is swag, the eyebrow is swag, the belly button is swag but NEVER on the nostril its’s a golden rule of swag. Sorry. Have you ever seen an oc with a piercing in the nostril ? Nope, then don’t do that. Don’t try to invent new things. Originality is weird. 

ღ  About the body type, you got to stick to the canons : Huge breasts, large hips and butt, narrow waist (so narrow you don’t know how she can possibly bear her own weight). 

ღ If you REALLY don’t have any design ideas it doesn't matter. Make a gender-bend of Naruto or Sasuke. IT WORKS. 

II. The back story of your OC

For your OC to fit in the story like some shit falling on top of carbonara pastas, your backstory must be as CHEATED as possible. It must affect the main manager plot a maximum, just to enhance your oc. NEVER FORGET IT : Your OC is the center of the world. 

ღ Lets start by the beginning. For the name of your OC take some name that sounds Japanese. You can even invent one, as long as it sounds Japanese its perfect. To do so, insert some “ki” “ko” “su” “shi” “mi” et you got a name ! 

ღ Here is one of the supreme principle : Your OC is the most gorgeous, intelligent and strong. Its legit ALL THE MEN IN THE PLANET are desperately in love with her. 

ღ Your OC must be paired, or have had an affair, with at least one of the canon characters (better if its a main one) of the anime. Leave Shoji and and all the other Rock Lees for the ugly ones, YOU got Sasuke and Naruto waiting for you in your bed. So here’s a list of decent crush for a Goddess like your OC : 

Sasuke, Itachi, Naruto, Kakashi, Neji, Gaara, Madara, Deidara. Others are for the ugly ones. Don’t touch it, may have diseases ... :/ 

ღ  As your OC is the strongest, she must have super badass jutsus and have a chakra of ALL TYPES AT A TIME, she must master ALL the technics, and the must is her having an demon within. If possible a demon with tails (we don’t know why it wasn't mentioned in the manga but WHO CARES ?) that would be stronger than all the canon demons combined ! OR she can cumulate all the demons. Another SWAG thing is to have special pupils. If you don’t have the creativity to invent some, just use the sharingan/byakugan, or directly the rinnegan. OR you can cumulate them. Do like Sasuke ! This guys was clever. He knows the secret of success. 

ღ  Your OC must FUCK the game, so don’t hesitate to make her a princess, a vampire, a Rage, or even a Goddess. SHE IS TOO HOT TO BE HUMAN. Regular shinnobis are for people with no ambitions. 

ღ When you have to describe her personality always indicate this : “sweet, shy, friendly, cold, mysterious, choleric, courageous.” How is it totally paradoxal ? WHO CARES ? It doesn't have to be accurate in your character in her story anyways, that’s just for the presentations. For your OC to be really obnoxious she has to have a shitty personality. She has to clash every canon characters, be a burden for everyone else, OR, the opposite, a fuckin’ Deus Ex Machina ! Your girl she would have kicked Madara’s emo ass in a sec ! 

ღ  Her relationships with the canon characters are VERY IMPORTANT. Try the hidden blood binding. It’s SOOO original. Incest is not to provide, we all love what’s forbidden by the law and morals ! But always use main characters first, and don’t hesitate to put your character in a canon team, even if you have to kick off Sakura to do so (after all who cares for her ?). And for secondary but popular characters such as Itachi, Gaara and Neji ... Well as long as they are canons and popular ! Its better if they are in the Akatsuki or Kages though ! The best thing would be to be the hidden maleficent twin of Sasuke and have an affair with him OR Naruto’s genderbend paired with Itachi. The really SWAG clans you can put your OC into if you got no creativity to create an over powered shitty clan are : Uchiha, Uzumaki, Namikaze and Otsutsuki, and Hyuga only if there is no more room in the previous I quoted. 

ღ  Your OC must have a tragical backstory, horrible and complicated, incoherent or completely empty and lacking of depth cumulating all the best clichés of the fandom. 

In the first case your OC is broken by her past traumatic experiences, which gives her a dark side, a madness within, an emo vibe. She must be complaining all the time about her misunderstood pain. 

In the second case, your OC must be cheesy, always smiling and enthusiastic for no reason, and be a little stupid. Okay VERY stupid. But well ! She has big tits at least ! So its fine. Her biggest trauma must not exceed in terms of violence her little brother finishing the Nutella. 

ღ  Or, you can also try having a SUPER weak OC. Because with Mary Sues you are either TOO strong or TOO weak. No nuance please. It would make your character too credible. AND WE DON’T WANT THAT. Your OC must be rejected by everyone, hated and underrated (#victimlol) only her One True Love will see the light behind her shaggy hair. 

ღ If you are a bit CrAzY you can invent a country where she’ll be on top, but the best is for her to come from Konoha. Stay on the right track. 

I think I gave you all the best tips I had to make an OC perfectly obnoxious. ♥ To illustrate my own sayings, let me introduce you, my own Mary Sue : 

Suskiki Uchiha ! 

Name : Suskiki Uchiha

Age : Immortal 

Team : 7 (who cares about Sakura anyways ? Lol) Family : parents : Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha / big brother : Itachi / twin brother : Sasuke / cousin : Naruto (yes its possible) Personality : Has big boobs Love interests : Sasuke, Naruto, Itachi, Gaara, Deidara, Suigetsu, Kakashi, Peter Pan, Edward Cullen and Jon Snow Story : Suskiki is the hidden sister of Sasuke. Not so hidden bc she is in team 7.  For real she is the princess vampire of and has the power of emo. Her childhood was so terrible you cant imagine. What was it ? Idk you cant imagine i said ! She supports Naruto since childhood bc they were both rejected. Why ? Bc she was too beautiful duh ! She has in her the demon Nyan cat dragon of darkness the most powerful of all ! She has both sharingan and byakugan for no reason (maybe her mom had an affair ?).  NOW LETS TRY THIS QUIZZ : 

Does your OC have : 

1)  Spiky or flashy hair ? 2)  Piercings/tattoos ? 3) Big breasts ?  4) Is she the female equivalent (physically) of a canon character ? 5) Was her name picked randomly because it sounded Japanese  ? 6) Are several canon characters into her ? (3 and more is yes).  7) Is she paired with one of the decent canons quoted before ?  8) Has she got a demon ? 9) Has she got special pupils ? Is she from a SWAG clan ? (if not you suck) 10) Does she have a special statut ? (princess, vampire, kage ...) 11) Is she “ “sweet, shy, friendly, cold, mysterious, choleric, courageous.”  at the same time ?  12) Does she have any blood binding with one of the canon characters ? Marriage doesn’t work.  13) Incestuous with one of the canons ? 14) Is she part of one of the main teams of the Naruto gen ? 15) Has she got a tragic back story ? 16) Is she bad at everything/super powerful ? 17) Was she rejected ?   18) Does she come from Konoha ? 19) Does she look like the  character she is paired with ?  20) Was she part of the Akatsuki or did she join Orochimaru ? 

So now you can count your points and it will give you a grade over 20. The closer you are to 20 the most Mary Suish your OC is. I personally tested it on Yukiko she got : 6 points. And you what is your score ? ;)

[lovelylogans]

my eyes are wide to all your lies (’cause you’re not that discreet)

ao3 | read my other fics | coffee?

warnings: food mentions, mentions of getting rid/lessening anxiety, human experimentation (not as dark as it sounds, but still figured a warning would be good), fusion, deceit

pairings: royality

words: 6,269

notes: april fools, i got you! and now i present the idea that warranted my first block in four years of internet friendship and had me cackling in unholy, childish glee the whole time i was plotting and writing it: it’s a phineas and ferb au! yeah, you read that right. title from “busted” from phineas and ferb.

There was one hundred and four days of summer vacation before school came along just to end it.

So the annual problem that the Sanders-Prince brothers had was finding a new way to spend it. They’d built rockets, fought mummies, climbed up the Eiffel tower, discovered things that didn’t exist, given monkeys showers. They’d surfed tidal wives, created nanobots, located Frankenstein’s brain. They’d found a dodo bird, painted a continent, and driven their brother insane. 

The question that was posed every day over toast-with-heaps-of-jam then had to be posed:

“Logan, what are we gonna do today?”

Logan Sanders nudged his glasses up his nose with a thoughtful expression. Logan had the expression of the teacher’s pet, the nerd that never got in trouble beyond perhaps reading during class, or correcting a teacher, but behind that calm, know-it-all expression and dorky glasses laid a mad scientist who had not yet graduated high school. 

“We could recreate Tesla’s death ray again,” he suggested mildly.

“Logan, we did that three weeks ago.” Roman groaned. “No doing things again! It has to be bigger, better, bolder, newer.”

Roman Prince, on the other hand, had the exact look of a troublemaker that tended to have teachers hollering “Put that away!” and “Prince, principal’s office!” and got him parked in the front row of the room before he could scoot off to the back (usually next to his stepbrother, which compounded the problems, not that Logan would ever let himself get caught.) He gladly lived up to the reputation and strove for each spectacle to be bigger and grander than the last.

“Mom!” Virgil exclaimed, eyes huge, made to seem even wider by the dark eyeshadow smeared beneath them.

Their older brother (or stepbrother, to Roman) Virgil Sanders, had the exact face of a punk-rock emo kid, the sort of boy who skipped school and missed curfew and never cared. In actuality, he was kind of a tattletale, or perhaps more like the boy in back who muttered “I don’t know about this guys” while the other kids were doing things like experimenting with fireworks that they’d stolen from their older brother’s stash. Virgil’s ongoing pursuit of the summer was to catch Roman and Logan in the middle of one of their dangerous plots, which would surely end in their serious injuries and or deaths I know I look like the bad guy but you two have to be safe okay you could get seriously hurt or seriously DEAD do you understand me Roman and Logan D-E-A-D dead!

“That’s nice, dear,” Caroline Sanders-Prince said absently from where she was at the stove. Virgil groaned and put his head down on the table, floppy bangs narrowly missing the butter dish.

“Why do I even bother,” Virgil grumbled.

Roman batted his eyelashes at his stepbrother. “Because you love us?”

“Gross,” Logan muttered, from behind a thick tome entitled Understanding Chinese Engineering Doctoral Students in U.S. Institutions: A Personal Epistemology Perspective that he’d pulled from nowhere, because he was a boy genius who read books with very long titles like that. “Emotions.”

“Gross,” Virgil snapped. “Mom, Roman has the platypus on the table!”

“That’s nice, dear.”

“Aw, Deceit wouldn’t do anything, would he?” Roman crooned to their pet platypus, inexplicably named Deceit, who knickered at Virgil dutifully. Virgil pulled a face at him, because he did not trust that platypus.

“He just wants some bacon!” Roman exclaimed.

“Can platypuses have bacon?”

“Platypi,” the book corrected from where Logan’s face had been. “They’re technically carnivorous, so—yes. He’d probably prefer larvae or freshwater shrimp, though.”

“Gross,” Roman said, as he ensured Deceit had all the bacon he wanted and lowered him back onto the floor. “And so not the point! Logan! We have to figure out what to do today!”

The brothers continued to bicker, not noticing as Deceit the platypus crept outside, looked around, and pulled on his hat before entering into the secret chute that would catapult him to his day job: an animal agent for the OWCA, protecting the tri-state area from one inator-enamored mad scientist at a time.

“More Tesla?”

“Logan. We spent all of that week. On Tesla. We have to do something fresh! Something bold! Something we invent!”

“I still can’t believe you invented a death ray and you thought that was a good idea,” Virgil said, ready to work himself up into an anxiety-induced tizzy. “It’s a DEATH ray, death is right there in the name!”

Logan frowned at him over the pages of his book, which he was somehow halfway through already. “We wouldn’t have killed people,” he said. “Flies, probably. Or mosquitoes. Most likely.”

“Oh, that makes me feel so much better,” Virgil said. “Thanks, a death ray for flies or mosquitoes, most likely! What could have possibly gone wrong?!”

“How is it possible for you to worry so much?” Roman said, from where he was constructing an elaborate toast-tower with the remaining slices they hadn’t eaten, yet. He was currently sealing together the walls with jam and carefully carving out the windows for the tiny toast-people to survey their kitchen table kingdom. “I never worry so much.”

“Yeah, I worry enough for you, and Logan, and your little scout friend,” Virgil grumbled. “I have all the anxiety of this neighborhood combined into one person.”

Roman perked up, nearly sending a tiny toast-family sprawling. “Hang on, what did you just say?”

“Oh,” Virgil said, because he knew his stepbrother well enough to see his “new idea! new idea!” face, and he also knew him well enough to fear it. “Oh, no.”

“Oh, yes,” Roman said gleefully. “Logan! I know what we’re gonna do today!”

“Run me through it again.”

Roman sighed loudly from where he was stationed in a treetop, twisting a screw carefully into place. Half of Logan’s body was underneath their latest monstrous machine.

“Okay. So. The basic plan is, we’re going to see if we can put you in this machine to ease out some of your worries, your fears—enough so that it doesn’t overwhelm you constantly, not too much to change who you are as a person,” Roman began. “And if you hate it, we can reverse it, no problem.”

“When you say basic plan,” Virgil said apprehensively, and Logan rolled partially out from under the machine, lifting the welding mask off his face so that he could squint at Virgil, looking strange without his glasses.

“Without the scientific explanations that would inevitably confuse those of lesser intelligence.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“You know what he means,” Roman said, and then, “Oh, God, here he comes, quick, I—“

Roman made a half-aborted gesture as if to climb down the tree, and then hastily redirected his energy toward straightening his shirt, patting his hair into place, and setting up the most swaggeringly handsome pose he could manage in a tree. Virgil, looking down the street, tried his best to hide his smirk.

Patton Hart had lived down the street since they’d moved in after their parents got married, and his crush on Roman had ignited not long after the first box was taken off the truck. Patton Hart had the exact face that had teachers picking him for messenger duty, to guide a new kid around the school, or to provide a good face for the school—if he hadn’t volunteered for it already. He had quite the sprawl of extracurriculars under his belt, including, amongst others, Knitting Club, Baking Club, Pun Appreciation Club, and, most notably, leader of the Fireside Scouts—as noted by his constant orange sash that clashed horribly with his usual blue polo and gray hoodie.

The mutual crushes were a subject of constant private heckling between Logan and Virgil at Roman, and it would have been proven to further public mocking if Patton wasn’t so deeply, genuinely nice.

Patton bounced into the yard, beaming. “Hi, Virgil!”

“Hey, Patton,” Virgil said gruffly. (Patton had even charmed Virgil, a feat which back in the feuding-stepsibling days had stunned Roman to no end.)

“Hi, Roman,” he said, grinning up the tree at Roman, batting his eyelashes. “Whatcha dooo-in’?”

“Hey, Patton,” Roman said. “We’re trying to see if we can make Virgil less scared all the time without erasing who he is as a person.”

Patton flopped out on the sun-soaked grass that was trying valiantly to live in the drought of summer. “Sounds hard, but if anyone can do it, it’s you two. Hi, Logan,” he added to Logan’s knees.

Logan grunted and extended a hand out from under the machine. “Round-nose pliers.”

Patton cheerfully plucked the necessary tool from the expansive kit (tool-fetcher for the Sanders-Prince brothers was an unofficial but important extracurricular of his, one that he’d considered making a badge for) but held it in his hands, not yet handing it over. “What’s the magic word?”

“There’s no such thing as magic.”

“Logan.”

Logan let out a long-suffering sigh that he was probably extending, to compensate for the lack of eye contact, which meant no eyeroll. “Please pass the round-nose pliers.”

“Sure thing!” Patton said, carefully placing them in his hand, only to watch his arm disappear back under the machine. 

Roman had managed to get down from the tree, and hastily straightened out his shirt before he leaned against the machine in a way that could not, in any universe, pass as casual. Virgil rolled his eyes and instead resorted to picking at the latest rip in his jeans rather than focus on any of the big and admittedly very scary-looking machine that would somehow help his anxiety.

Shouldn’t it be, like, painted with sunshine and daisies or something, not just some kind of metallic alloy? If it was about taking away fear?

“I’m telling Mom,” Virgil said, mostly out of routine at this point.

“Aren’t you involved today?” Roman said. “And therefore, you’d get in trouble too, so—”

“It’s not about trouble,” Virgil said irritably. “It’s about—it’s about danger. You can’t just keep ramping up experiments without safety measures and without making detailed plans or prototypes or something that you run through any potential side effects or faults that would happen, you could get hurt badly, you could hurt someone else, you could—”

Logan had wheeled himself out from under the machine, removing the mask, and his stare was so knowing that Virgil clamped his mouth shut, looking at a patch of brown grass that wasn’t quite in the reach of the sprinkler.

“We aren’t Dad, Virgil.”

Logan’s voice was pitched low, almost kind, and Virgil screwed his eyes shut.

“Hey,” Roman said, blessedly oblivious as always, “where’s Deceit?”

Deceit was currently parachuting his way onto the balcony of his nemesis’ secret evil lair/tower. As a platypus without opposable thumbs, this was more difficult than most would think.

Especially when a platypus without opposable thumbs was dodging a series of dodgy traps, only to stumble into a table where his nemesis had set up tea.

“Oh. Deceit the platypus, there you are,” Dr. Doofenshmirtz said. “You’re late, and as such, I have revoked your access to cucumber sandwiches!”

Deceit stared at him blankly.

“Oh, I just can’t resist that face,” Dr. Doofenshmirtz said. “Fine, catch!”

Dr. Doofenshmirtz hurled a cucumber sandwich directly at Deceit’s beak like the world’s tiniest, most confusing projectile, which hit his beak, and then expanded outward into a series of wires and cables, snaring Deceit against the wall.

“And now that you are trapped, I shall explain my evil plan!” He said gleefully. 

Deceit let out the platypus equivalent of a sigh, tipping his head back to the ceiling.

“Okay, that should be the last of it,” Roman said, stepping back and wiping his brow free of sweat. Virgil, who had long since retreated to the shade of underneath a tree, grimaced at the machine, and began picking at his freshly-painted black fingernails with a renewed sense of fervor. There were already tiny chips of black littered around him in the dirt.

Patton proffered a little tray of lemonade, and Roman perked up. 

“Oh, hey, thanks, Patton!” He said happily, picking up the ice-cold glass and pressing it against his forehead for a moment, before taking a healthy gulp from the red-and-white striped straw.

“Logan, Virgil?” Patton offered, lifting the tray. “I have cookies too.”

There was a brief break as everything went snack-crazed for a bit, the boys bumping into each other and elbowing each other aside as they took their cookies of preference.

“So,” Patton said, taking his own sip of his lemonade (blue-and-white striped straw) “Virgil goes in there, you press that switch, and he’ll just... he’ll be less worried about things?”

“Well—” Logan began, but Roman broke in, smiling winningly at Patton.

“Essentially, yep!”

“Well,” Logan repeated, “Actually, Patton, I was surveying the mechanics, and it could potentially be aided if someone who produced... less worry and had a... how should we say, sunnier outlook on life stepped into the machine, too.”

Patton blinked at him, and Virgil was already surging toward the machine, spreading his arms, as if to bar anyone from approaching it.

“No. No way,” Virgil declared immediately. “It’s bad enough that you looped me into this plan, but there’s no way that you’re bringing Patton into it too!”

“Patton joins our plans daily,” Roman pointed out. “Honestly, it’s really more of a shock that you joined in, Fret-a-lot-saw.”

Virgil squinted at him. “Are you calling me a tool?”

“Shucks, kiddo, if it’ll help, I’m helping,” Patton said, setting aside his lemonade.

Virgil was already shaking his head again, eyes wild, like a spooked horse. 

“Why did I even let you get this far?” He asked himself. “Forget it! I’m going to tell Mom, and she’ll—”

“—say that’s nice dear without looking up from whatever else is taking her attention?” Logan asked archly.

“Fine,” Virgil said, undeterred. “Roman’s Dad, then.”

“It’s baseball season, no chance,” Roman said with a shrug.

“The police, then! The FBI! Anything!” Virgil said. “You two need a wake-up call, okay?! And apparently I’m the only one who’s gonna give it to you!”

“This is why you need the machine,” Roman said, and spread his hands. “Look around! You are literally the only one who is so freaked out about this.”

“Because no one else has common sense!”

“Because everyone else knows we can do it and doesn’t treat us like we can’t!” Roman snapped, and immediately shut his mouth, going bright red. “Um, I mean—I mean, obviously, more like haha, of course we can do it! Because we’re so smart and handsome and—”

Virgil hesitated, and lowered his arms to cross them over his chest. “I didn’t say you couldn’t do it,” he admitted grudgingly. 

“Yeah, well, you act like anything we make will inevitably blow up a lot more than someone who thinks we can,” Roman grumbled, scuffing a sneaker over the grass. 

“Because that happens, Roman! Even to really, really experienced inventors. Besides, aren’t you a little young to be making crazy inventions in the backyard every day?”

“Yes,” Roman said, jutting his chin up proudly. “Yes I am.”

Logan sighed. “We’ve run tests, we’ve made prototypes, will you please just step into the machine? This whole—” Logan gestured broadly with his hand, nose wrinkling, “emotional outburst thing is part of the whole reason we made it.”

Virgil hesitated even more. 

“It can’t hurt to just try, can it?” Patton said, and proffered his hand. “Look, I’ll step in with you. It looks kinda scary.”

Virgil hesitated, licked his lips, and said, “You’re sure about this?”

“Positive,” Logan said, shoving Patton toward him, and hissing in his ear, “Quick, before he changes his mind.”

Patton shot him a fondly exasperated look, before taking Virgil’s hand. Roman glowered at their joined hands for a moment.

Virgil let out a slow breath, and his knuckles went white from how tightly he was squeezing Patton’s hand. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

“On it,” Patton said, and ducked through first, Virgil shooting a last look that seemed to say help to Logan, before following.

“All right!” Roman whooped, racing over to the machine. “Okay, power on, levels stable... you two ready?”

“I guess,” Virgil grumbled, as Patton chirped, “Yep!”

“Less worry, here we come!” Roman trilled, and flipped the switch.

A veritable lightshow ensued and the machine flared, and smoked, and sparked, as Roman and Logan hastily stepped back.

Roman leaned into his ear, shouting to be heard over the machine. “We are sure about this, right?”

“About 85% sure, yes. Perhaps 80%. 65% sure, at lowest. Probably.”

“Good enough for me,” Roman said, and returned his gaze to the machine just in time for the light and noise to die down.

“All right, Virgil, how are we feeling?” Roman called out. “Less inclined to bust us all the time? Maybe relaxed enough to, like, let us keep experimenting with death rays?”

There was no response.

Roman and Logan both frowned. 

“Patton?” Roman called, a little more desperate. “Hey, sweet-Hart, you okay in there?”

“Um,” a voice floated out from the machine that neither of them had ever heard before, and yet was inherently familiar, “you guys?”

Deceit tuned back in, perfectly timed to excise the Tragic Backstory but to get the full effect of the eventual evil plan of the day.

It had taken years of practice.

“—to make everyone as fearful as I was that day in the checkout line!”

Deceit stared at the massive device cloaked by a sheet.

“Yes, that’s right, Deceit the platypus,” he said gleefully, and whipped off the sheet. “Behold! The Frighteninator!”

Deceit began to work against the bonds, wondering idly if he would break his record of forty-one seconds—very impressive, for a platypus without opposable thumbs, if you asked him.

“Yes, soon the whole tri-state area shall tremble in fear, and therefore, I will be able to easily subjugate them and become emperor of the tri-state area!”

Roman was still waving the smoke out of his face when a silhouette stepped free from the machine, seeming close to stumbling before holding out its arms to keep its balance.

Well. That wasn’t right.

“What,” the voice asked, in that same foreign-familiar tone, “just happened?”

“Oh, excellent,” Logan said, peering closer at the silhouette.

“No, not excellent!” The silhouette wailed and at last the smoke cleared, revealing—

Well, at first Roman wasn’t really sure.

It looked sort of like a person, if not for the extra set of arms protruding at the waist. Their eyes had a huge pair of round glasses set in front of it, but the bags underneath them were pronounced and darker than Roman had ever seen on an actual person. Their polo was stitched in an odd amalgamation of blue, gray, purple, and black, mixing plaid with solid color, and there was an odd sash that—

Oh. 

Oh, wow.

“I dunno,” the stranger said cheerfully, “I think it’s kinda neat! Imagine all the cool stuff we can do with four arms!”

“Virgil?” Logan said, at the same time Roman said, “Patton?”

“Yes,” the voice answered—and that was why it sounded so strange, so familiar—

It was both of their voices at once.

“You,” the creature glowered. “are gonna get so—!”

“—famous, from all that nifty inventing you guys do!” the creature finished.

No, not a creature. It was Virgil and Patton. Patton and Virgil? Patton-and-Virgil, Virgil-and-Patton? God, his stepbrother had fused with his crush, he was so used to weird days (most of them he was responsible for) but this was so weird.

“You’ve fused!” Logan said gleefully. 

“This was not in your plan!” Virgil—or at least, the part of him that was Virgil—cried out.

“Well, we thought it might be a side effect,” Roman admitted. “But hey! Take a few steps, swing your arms around, tell us how you feel, this was definitely on the to-do list, and now I don’t have to deal with any of Logan’s nerdiness infecting me.”

Logan threw a wrench at him half-heartedly and Roman ducked—a well-practiced maneuver.

“Why’ve I got four arms?” the creature said, taking a hobbling step forward, flexing its two right hands. “I mean, all the more stuff I could do with it, probably—Virgil, you’re left-handed, aren’t you?”

The two left arms stretched, almost sulkily. Roman hadn’t known that an arm could stretch sulkily, but leave it to Virgil.

“Fascinating,” Logan breathed, digging hastily and coming up with a legal pad and a pen. “How do you feel? Do you still feel essentially separate, or do you find yourself more as a cohesive, singular unit?”

“I,” the creature said, and then it frowned. “I dunno, I guess? I’m—we’re?—feeling a bit more like one unit the longer we stick together, I think. We think?”

“Singular pronouns, I think,” Logan said, taking notes hastily. “Male ones. As to the four arms question—”

“Forget that,” Roman said. “What do we even call you?”

“Hm,” The creature said, one of its right hands coming up to frame under its chin. “I dunno. Pattil? Virgin?”

Roman snorted a laugh, and the creature slanted a look at him that was distinctly Patton.

“Why’s that funny?”

“It—uh—it isn’t,” Roman admitted sheepishly. “Sorry. Um... how about Moxie? Like, you got moxie, kid, Moxie.”

“Moxie,” they—he—said. “Okay! Sure, sounds cool.”

“How’s it going, though?” Roman said. “Less worried? More worried? Still freaking out about having double the amount of arms as usual?”

Moxie frowned for a second, and then his eyes went far away.

“Oh,” he said, tone equally far away, splitting into two—distinctly Virgil and Patton speaking in unison. “Oh. I can feel what you’re feeling.”

“Is that... good?” Roman asked, but then Moxie wrapped all four arms around himself, as if giving himself a hug.

“Do I want a cookie?” Moxie mumbled to himself, and snorted as if he had made a joke.

“Perhaps that would be good, I’d imagine transfusing into a new form would burn calories,” Logan said. “Plus, I’d like to see your finer motor control.”

Roman picked up the tray, offering it, and Moxie took a few shambling steps closer, eyes squinted in focus, a set of arms spread to keep his balance. 

“Hmm,” Moxie said, and then the right hand lunged forward, nearly knocking the tray over, before squeaking, “Sorry!”

“That’s okay,” Roman said. “New body. Also, can I tell you how weird it is that my friend and my stepbrother are combined into one person now?”

“It’s feeling less and less weird,” Moxie mused, before more carefully reaching and taking a cookie. “Thanks.”

Roman smiled at Moxie. Inexplicably, Moxie blushed, and then Moxie scowled, and then Moxie shoved the cookie into his mouth whole.

“Was that on purpose?” Logan asked mildly, who had not stopped scribbling.

“Mmmhmmm,” he said, trying his hardest not to spew crumbs. “Hungfwy.”

Logan nodded, marking something specifically. “Patton, what did you eat for breakfast? I’m curious as to how many calories this burns.”

“He didn’t,” Moxie blurted out, and then a right hand clapped over his mouth.

“Patton-cakes!” Roman scolded. “For all the times you talk to me about balanced eating!”

“That would explain it,” Logan said. “Take another cookie. Left hand, this time.”

Moxie reached forward with his left hand, taking another cookie, not even knocking over the tray this time.

“Oh, yeah,” Moxie added, “I feel less worried, but I... feel. A lot. So.”

He took another big bite of a cookie.

“So,” Roman said. “Um. Now that we have a fusion machine... what now?”

Roman and Logan exchanged a grin, and Moxie looked nervous for a second, before he grinned, too.

“—what?! Deceit the platypus?!?! How could you have possibly freed yourself from that cucumber sandwich?!”

Deceit held up his OWCA-issue pocketknife in answer.

“Curse you, Deceit the platypus!”

Deceit leapt, and smacked Dr. Doofenshmirtz across the face with his beaver tail.

Virgil had gone inside with the excuse of fixing Patton a plate of some leftover breakfast, but also mostly to avoid the light-and-smokeshow of the machine as Roman and Patton sequestered themselves in the machine.

It hadn’t quite died down by the time Virgil came out, awkwardly holding a plate.

“So,” Logan said, making a table on the notepad, “how long into the fusion do you think it’ll be before one of them gives themself away?”

Virgil snorted. “Five seconds.”

Logan sighed in relief. “I’ve been very tired of hearing about how Patton’s hair shines in the sun. Or about how his eyes sparkle when he laughs. Or—”

Virgil laughed. “That bad?”

“You don’t share a room with him,” Logan said darkly.

“Yeah, well, you didn’t get randomly hit with butterflies because Roman smiled at you while you were fused with Patton. Let me tell you, that felt very gross.”

Logan tilted his head. “Point,” he said, and stole a triangle of toast already spread with jelly. 

“Aftereffects of the fusion?” He said, before jamming the toast triangle into his mouth whole and readying his pen.

Virgil paused, analyzing that, and said, “...weirdly calm.”

Logan nodded, writing this down, and at last the machine died down.

“Okay, Roman, Patton, how are you doing?” Virgil called out. “I’ve got breakfast for you here, if you want it.”

There’s a pause, and then, “I think we want to be Paman?”

“Paman,” Virgil amended, and the fusion stumbled out. He looked almost normal, really—blue and white and red seemed like a much more fitting combination, though the orange sash really was quite hideous, still—except for the four pairs of eyes, the bottom, normally-placed set wearing glasses, the top set clearly Roman’s.

“Ooh, jelly,” Paman said happily, and lumbered toward Virgil, taking the plate with a sunny smile that was obviously Patton. “Thanks!”

He flopped out on the grass, and tucked tidily into his breakfast, eating neatly and swiftly. Virgil and Logan sat, both staring at Paman—Paman seemed to stare back, even as he kept one set of eyes on the breakfast he was eating. 

“I love jelly,” Paman said, and then, 

“I know,” Paman said, “You always—“

A pause. Paman’s cheeks went a bright shade of red, and they put down the toast. Virgil offered a fist, and Logan reached out and tapped it with his own (a gesture that had taken some explanation for Logan to do on command, now.)

“You really...?”

“Is... are you...?”

Paman trailed off, smiled to himself, and went back to his breakfast, still blushing.

Crack! Pow! Bam!

“Not the nose, not the nose!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz wailed.

Paman was absently holding hands with himself when Logan finished his questionnaire, and nodded, flipping through the legal pad, which he’d mostly filled.

“I suppose the next question is, does a fusion more or less maintain its stability when another person is introduced to the fusion?”

Paman blinked. “You can add more than two people to a fusion?” He asked, and he answered himself in his next breath: “A fusion’s made up of all its parts—it can be anyone, as long as they’re comfortable with each other.” Paman then nodded, as if this made sense to him, and looked at Logan.

“Aren’t you curious?” He said, in his more unified voice, and Logan’s eyes gleamed for a moment, before—

“I suppose,” he said, attempting at casual.

“You sure about this?” Virgil asked.

Paman and Logan spoke as one: “Positive.”

Virgil sighed, but got to his feet. “Guess I’ll flip the switch, then.”

Slam! Pow! Ka-CLANK!

“NOT THE FRIGHTENINATOR!”

“Weird, right?” Virgil said, leaning against the machine, as the unnamed fusion (two sets of arms, two sets of eyes) staggered from the machine.

“Fascinating,” he said. “It seems that adding a person aggregates the unusual physical additions—Virgil, hand me my notepad!”

Virgil rolled his eyes, but fetched it for him, handing it to the left set of arms, which immediately uncapped the pen and began to scrawl.

“Will you two keep your emotions away from me,” the fusion complained, and in the next breath he snickered, “Sorry!”

The fusion scrawled away at length, before he offered a professional nod, and one of his hands.

“All four of us,” he said, and Virgil hesitated.

“It’ll be fine,” he promised, and Virgil sighed, before accepting the hand, and walking back into the machine.

With one last well-placed kick, Dr. Doofenshmirtz went down and stayed down. Deceit, after waiting a few moments, rushed over to the Frighteninator, intent on shutting it down, tiny platypus paws roaming the machine, before—

Deceit let out a knicker that would have had his platypus mother scrubbing out his bill with platypus soap.

He walked out, spreading his arms—one set. And one set of eyes.

“We must look like a normal person,” he said.

He wasn’t sure where the thought originated, and if he focused, he could sense the divide—Logan’s intense curiosity, Roman’s inherent passion, Patton’s ambitions of kindness, Virgil’s worry—but he was...

He was...

He reached in his pocket and dug out a phone, turning it to the front-facing camera to squint at himself.

The outfit had actually normalized into something a normal person would wear—a red shirt, a tan jacket, jeans. His face was...

He squinted at himself. He looked so much like—

my eyes—

—my nose—

—my ears—

—my cheekbones—

—and yet so utterly, completely himself. He was... he was....

The name came from somewhere deep inside of him.

“Thomas.”

He lowered the phone, and took a shaky, wobbling step forward, almost like a baby deer, arms pinwheeling to keep his balance. Then another, and another. They got easier all the time.

It’s like we’re a whole new person, one of them, or maybe all of them, marveled, it’s like we’re a real, actual person.

But he was missing something. He was missing...

Oh, but he was so here now, all together now, even if it was imperfect it was wonderful. The laugh that bubbled up from inside him was truly, wholly felt, until—

What’s that, a thought, sharp, that could only be Virgil, and he looked up in time to see the arc of green light split and head for him and for the machine.

“Uh-oh.”

There was no time for this newly-formed body to hurl itself aside, and so the green light caught him full in the chest, and he doubled over, hitting his knees.

What’s happening, what’s happening—

—green light, could have been gamma-based—

—it’s hurting him, it’s hurting usme, we have to—

—knew something bad would happen knew it knew it knew it knew it—

Distantly, an explosion could be heard—but he was on his hands and knees, vision narrowing in, and he tried to suck in a breath. He can hardly breathe. There’s something pounding in him, deep and strong, overwhelming all his other senses, and his vision doubles, and—

whatshappeningwhatshappeningwhatshappening

—their vision goes black around the edges, and the green-brown grass looms large in his vision, and what’s that noise, what’s that noise—

—heart rate increase, sweat increase, this is epinepherine, this is fear, as if you don’t know anything about it shut up shut up shut up they’ll hear they’ll—

There’s the scent of burning, but it’s so far away that he can’t focus on that right now, and their body feels like it’s splitting, like it’s—

—hurts why does it hurt I don’t want to hurt I want my friends I want to go don’t hurt my friends don’t hurt my friends don’t hurt my—

—but he feels molten, like lava, like he’s about to melt and spill everywhere, and he can’t hold, but he needs to hold, he needs—

—no, no, don’t do this to them, they’re just kids, I can take it, let me take it, I have to take it, I have to be the one who takes it, don’t do this to them, dontdontDON’T—

He tears down the middle, and there’s a pain for a moment, so sharp and unbearable that none of them can breathe, and—

Patton blinked up at the sky. For a moment, silence—streaky white clouds on the edges of the horizon not daring to intrude on the clear blue of the sky; a bird soared directly overhead as if to flout the clouds’ cowardice.

The silence broke with a horrible, rasping breath, and Patton pushed himself up onto his side to see Virgil, rolling onto his side, coated in a green glow. Patton hastened toward him, heart in his throat.

“Virgil—”

“Don’t touch him,” Logan said, already at his other side. “We don’t know if the gamma ray will spread back to us if we touch him—”

Patton’s eyes stung, and he swiped at them in irritation—he hated that he cried when he got frustrated, or angry, or scared. “Can’t we do something?!”

“M’fine,” Virgil choked out, eyes screwed shut. “M’fine, it’s getting better already—”

“Virgil, don’t you dare lie,” Roman said, pale and ashen and—and how is Patton almost fluttery at a time like this, can’t his emotions settle instead of seesawing wildly inappropriately from one end of the spectrum from another?!

Virgil took in a purposefully deep breath, let it out, and offered a weak, crooked smile to them. “I’m fine, see? I’m fine.”

The green glow had lessened, at least. He now just looked like he was bathed in the light of a green spotlight, instead of encased in some green, glowing Jell-O. He pushed himself up onto the elbows, and drew a hand over his eyes, before he squinted. 

“Okay, how the fu—I mean heck—do you guys do that everyday?”

“Do what?” Roman said cluelessly, and Patton’s eyes are drawn toward the fusion machine. Or, where the fusion machine was. Now there was just black soot.

Roman shrugged. “Deus ex machina?”

Logan let out a regretful sigh. “Well, at least I have my notes,” he said thoughtfully. “And the blueprints.”

“Boys, I’m home!”

“Hi, Mom,” Roman, Virgil, and Logan called without looking up, Virgil getting a bit more color in his face by the second, green fading and fading until it was just about gone.

“Patton, I’m really okay,” he said, and Patton let out a shaky breath, remembering Moxie, remembering all the fear and worry he felt, but all the care, too—the soft side that he kept almost hidden.

“You better be, mister,” he said. “Or I’ll—I’ll steal all your cookies!”

Virgil’s lips twitched. He looked like a normal person now. “All of them, huh?”

“All of them,” Patton said, nodding judiciously. “For the rest of your life.”

“Sounds serious,” he said, well, seriously.

Logan nudged his glasses up his nose, clearing his throat. “Any lingering effects?”

Virgil held up a shaking hand in answer.

“Let’s get you inside,” Logan said. “And horizontal.”

“Probably a good idea,” Virgil said, and all three of them hastened to help him up—Logan and Virgil grabbing his hands, Roman pushing his back—and Virgil slung an arm around Logan’s shoulders.

“Help me in, would you?” He said loudly, and proceeded to “accidentally” kick Roman in the shin.

“Hey!” Roman said, but his response died when Virgil jerked his head.

And Patton and Roman were left alone in the backyard.

Patton scuffed his shoe over the yard. “That was pretty crazy, today,” he offered timidly.

Roman smiled at him and shoved a hand through his hair—Patton felt his cheeks going red, reminded at this, the most inopportune moment, that Roman knew how attractive he found that, now.

“Good crazy?”

Patton felt his face split into a grin. “You kidding?” He declared. “That was awesome! Well, until the random gamma ray of despair, I guess. But other than that!”

Roman laughed, too, and he said, “He’ll be okay. Gamma rays like that tend to be really temporary.”

Patton sucked in a breath, looked into the living room window, where he could see Logan already pestering Virgil, waving around his notepad before beginning to scrawl with a single-minded fervor. He smiled again.

“I trust you,” he said. 

“Yeah, I know,” Roman said, soft, and Patton inched closer.

“So,” Roman said. “Seeing jelly all over your face was what really sold you on me, huh?”

Patton smiled wider. “I think it was a cute look. But I think all of your looks are cute, so, you know.”

Roman smiled, and he offered, “So, um. Do you wanna... do you wanna get ice cream sometime?”

“I’d love that,” Patton said. His cheeks hurt from smiling so big.

“Because you don’t have to you if you don’t want to,” Roman added hastily. “I mean, I get it if you don’t—”

Patton put a finger on Roman’s lip, remembering too much of Paman’s self-criticism, his loneliness, his doubt.

“Roman,” he said. “Dearest. I’d. Love. That.”

Roman’s face broke out into his own relieved smile. Patton hoped he was remembering Paman, too—the butterflies in his stomach, the way he’d felt when Roman had smiled at Moxie, when their hands had first brushed together.

“Pick you up at seven tomorrow?” Patton offered.

“Yeah,” Roman said breathlessly, and he cleared his throat. “Um, yeah. Okay.”

Patton beamed, and leaned forward to press a kiss against Roman’s cheek, watching in delight as Roman’s face went red, too. Patton took his hand.

“C’mon,” he said. “We gotta go make sure Virgil feels better by giving him lots of hugs and sugar.”

“Okay,” Roman repeated, and Patton tugged him inside, where Virgil and Logan were already bickering, and curled up in a corner was—

“Oh! There you are, Deceit!”

[incorrectmarvelkids]

I dunno if I’ve ever written out one of my headcannons but I’ve commented about it a couple times but here goes nothing. 

Underneath Peter’s mask he wears what looks like two little hearing aids.

But they’re actually earbuds.

They’re specially made by Peter himself. They’re painless, large enough to stay in the ear without slipping around but small enough that they just fit in like a pair of tiny aids. He expiramented with wired earbuds, the cheapo ones you can get at the Dollar Store, and worked his way up to Apple (Stark) AirPods but, underneath the mask, they were uncomfortable. They fell out, blistered his ear and the skin underneath, and were just a complete and utter pain in the ass.

So he invented his own. It took awhile, and yes, he may have asked for Hawkeye’s help by using actual hearing aids as a base model. But in the end it was worth it. He made the perfect set of in-ear earbuds that were comfortable beneath either a metal or fabric mask. 

Listening to the music, sitting high above the city, perching on the rim of a window or hanging from the rafter like he’s Jack Kelly from Newsies, there’s something freeing about unadultered music. Now throw a little web-slinging and swinging and it’s an unimaginable feeling.

Peter used to have a free Spotify account and kept his mix (titled “My Mix”) on shuffle. He liked all the songs on the list and never really needed more than his 6 hourly skips. But after Stark gave him a Spotify Premium account he became a TiNY bit snobby about music choices (no semi-son of mine will be caught DEAD with a free account. Especially when it’s, like, what, .99$?) Unlimited skips have spoiled Peter, but it’s the kind of spoiling he deserves.

Sometimes he plays dramatic music, something only a geek would enjoy during a weekend night game of Dungeons and Dragons (which he does). Swining about to battle-music, taking down the baddies to tavern songs - it’s flipping awesome!

Obviously Peter likes pop music, but to be honest, he likes pop music in the car. Since he’d learned to drive, his sassy side got to come free and scream along to new songs and old - from Queen to Beyonce and back again to ABBA and Katy Perry. 

But when he’s on the prowl, protecting his city and defending his family, pop music just seems too happy sometimes. Even if it’s a headbanger or a darker pop song.

No, 90% of the time, Peter listens to what has been labeled as “emo” music.

Emotional screaming from Twenty One Pilots fueling him on as he dives towards a purse thief. Frank Iero wailing as he beats up a mugger. Fall Out Boy screaming out “A LOADED GOD COMPLEX COCKITAHPUHHITTT” as he aims his fingers shoots out some new web formula.

Of course, there are drawbacks. There are times when the music has been... too distracting. It’s too easy to be swept away by Brendon Urie’s sexy, sexy voice as he sings “gospel songs.” (If Mr. Stark asks what he’s listening to, it’s called “gospel music”). There have been times he’s made stupid mistakes because he jumped too soon, went against his spidey sense, in the name of keeping to the beat of MCR’s “Mama” and “Sing.” It was hard to find an excuse besides the truth, which was, “”Death of a Bachelor” almost lured me to my death beacuse I was too busy swaying and missed the guy with a pipe.”

But, for the most part, the music’s pretty good. And while he won’t admit it to Mr. Stark, he has been getting way into Black Sabbath. It’d make the mentor proud to know his not-technically-a-son listens to his type of music, but that teenage part of Peter’s brain won’t let him admit out loud that his technically-not-a-dad has a pretty banging taste in music. 

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Feel free to add on!!!

[rgr-pop]

circuitbird replied to your post:

what is the role of loud/soft big/small...

I just poked the beast and surprisingly he has a lot to say about Korn— he seemed irritated when I asked him if he would consider Deftones under the “nu-metal umbrella.” (Maybe if you consider historical context and audience overlap?) He notes that Deftones/Incubus could actually play their instruments well, and what he categorizes as nu-metal appears to be characterized by lack of skill! That they were like, the metal equivalent of punks, just banging away on these chromatic open tunings

I’m interested in his opinions on Korn! I asked that in part because I wanna know more about um Korn specifically and I know I have some (both out and secret) Korn fan followers. 

Re: Deftones though, he’s (sorry) wrong: Deftones famously rejected the title (in large part because by the time it was popular, it was derogatory), and I while I think a lot of people took them at their words (often as part of the growing respectability politics that drove artists to want to disassociate), it’s also fairly accepted to say that they started as nu metal and then became something else, which is probably fair (I’ve never listened to later Deftones). But Deftones are absolutely canonically nu metal, lol, there is no definition or history of nu metal that does not include them, and they are usually credited along with Korn as having invented it. Deftones are absolutely nu metal, even if you do not want to admit that there was one inarguably good nu metal band! Part of my interest in Deftones in that post was that I do think that they are exceptional in some ways, and because I was thinking about bands breaking away from partylines, and also they’re kind of like an emo band in many ways so it was on my mind.

But this is like, kind of core to my point anyway: people define nu metal as only “rap metal” or whatever because the mainstream reaction to it was heavily, heavily heavily racist. (The reaction to nu metal was racist because it was a genre created by black and brown people, and because it was influenced by and it had content of not just hip hop music--which was more visible and more acceptable to be racist about--but funk, ska, jazz in obvious ways, etc.) IMO dividing nu metal into "good at instruments” and “rap” is part of this legacy, as much as it’s not fair to lots of people who were good at their instruments. (I also think in the larger conversation, the ways that Deftones were influenced by and making black and brown music have been erased by white fans that love to celebrate how much there is not rap in Deftones music!) (This reminds me of a conversation I had ages ago about how Linkin Park “became white” on the radio, even though they were a multiracial band playing, well, nonwhite music. I should probably just start looking more at Linkin Park!) 

"The metal equivalents of punk” part is kind of interesting because that’s the thrash part of it and like, I mean, thrash is definitely “the metal equivalents of punk” in the literal sense (also very much a genre created by brown people), happy to have thrash fans @ me here about it, I can’t tell you whether thrash bands are good at their instruments but my surface interpretation would be that nu metal was like, MINIMALLY “fake smart thrash.” Maybe I’m being unfair to thrash but... I feel like all the parts of nu metal that are less serious come from thrash. This is too mean of me to say and I retract it already!!!! (SOAD has done a lot of service to the genre in terms of this interpretation, lol.) (Don’t @ me I know SOAD isn’t canon.)

I think the “bad at the instruments” myth about nu metal at least partially originated from macho metalheads mad about guitar solos though, right? Like, the perception that nu metal is less technically advanced seems transparently false to me but would be believable to someone who thinks they only way to demonstrate technical facility is through the solo, right? This is another way that a presumed whiteness of metal and experimental music shines through criticism of nu metal, imhooo. It’s kind of interesting to me because, actually, when I first read years ago that the main intervention of nu metal was “against” the guitar solo, that’s when I started to take it really seriously and I was so drawn to the potential of this as a gendered expression. So what’s interesting to me is that this genre of “alternative metal” that arose as one of the many genres in reaction to a kind of masculinist commodified radio metal of the eighties, that metal gets called “aggro”? I need to figure out where that came from--I mean, obviously a lot of it is um Limp Bizkit, yes, but at the same time, what does it mean that a metal rooted in rhythm because it drew from black music genres gets classified as more aggressive than...regular ass metal? Unsure.

NOW I will add: Incubus is definitely a controversial addition to the nu metal family, and I’ve had certain friends of mine object to their inclusion. I don’t disagree. Mostly the objection is that Incubus is dumbass fake woke music made by pretty boys and their one smart nerd friend, and, listen: I plead guilty. I liked Incubus because a) handsome b) listenable c) air sign dumbass thinks she’s real smart. Incubus is definitely imo late “influenced by nu metal” music and my questions about their role in the whole movement come down to: to what degree was their much-more-radio-friendly sound really just dumbed down alt metal vs being like, real experiments with song structure that lean into other genres? (I dunno yet and am biased in favor of Incubus.) I’d say, as I’ve been saying nonstop, that Einziger was an incredible guitarist, but I think he got better as he developed, and his skill was never about performative virtuosity, more about his ability to write guitar parts. I can’t say with confidence that he was a great guitarist when they were still closer to a nu metal band (first two albums), although that may just be closed minded of me. One way I heard a gear channel characterize that work was that while he has always and continues to love effects, his early playing relied on effects, while by Morning View he had come to use effects more masterfully as part of an overall practice! Sophisticated, you could say... maybe my opinion on that should be taken with a grain of salt.

[xhellnhighheelsx]

List the angsty times she’s extra! Do it! Do it! Also, would you take meta prompts? I guess that’s just questions...but your metas are my fave, and I would read them all day everyday. P.S. still any plans to provide receipts for the Doctor’s and River’s irrevocable love? (Yes, that was my ask too ;)

Okay so here’s my emo companion to this post. 

I only picked a handful of moments cuz I wanted to get this to you quick so you don’t think I’m ignoring you lol and I will gladly accept all the meta prompts. Always. 

Let’s start at River’s beginning for this one, shall we?   

Kid Melody calls Nixon for night terrors. He ends up being entirely useless, but that’s government for you. I mean, technically the suit defaulted to the highest authority, so not exactly her fault, but lbr, River would. This gets glossed over a lot, and maybe that’s because it’s so sad.I don’t even have to dig for the angst here. Orphan girl, terrified, alone, cared for by a man whose sanity is unraveling before her very eyes. She watched him graffiti walls and his own skin, warning himself to get out, to get away. How much guilt does that put on a little girl? Unwanted. No friends. Nothing but isolation and a dusty room with paint chipping off the walls. Owned rather than loved. Swaddled by a suit meant only for murder. Other kids want a puppy, but little Melody begs the President of the United States, please, don’t let it eat me. She learns early on that going big is the only way to not be overlooked. 

Now I’m just wondering if the Silence fixed that little issue? If little Melody can call for help, did River? When she was trapped in that suit at the bottom of the lake, did she try to call the Tardis to warn the Doctor? Did he not answer his phone AGAIN? Did she leave a voicemail begging him not to come? Does 12 or 13 find it but can’t do a damn thing about it cuz these faces have to be a secret? Sorry, I spiraled.

Anyway, after she escaped, kid Melody also found an audience to regenerate in front of. She scared the daylights out of some poor homeless man because she was sick and, for once in her life, she didn’t want to die be alone. Think on that.

I won’t get into it too much cuz we’re all well aware, but friendly reminder that home girl actually broke time just to prove a point. She did it for love, yes, but she also did it for herself. She was done being a puppet. This is River saying the decisions she makes will happen on her terms and the universe learns it the hard way. While we’re at it, River has another go at changing time by that lake side by physically shooting at herself. And you know she tries because she is blinking back tears as she says, “of course not.” If the shooting is just for show, why does she say that? This scene is the cause of a lot of diverging headcanons because it either means, River doesn’t remember the events that took place in the aborted timeline and is still trying to change time and create another paradox. Or she does remember and she’s just that self loathing. Or secret option C, she’s faking it for the Ponds, which is it’s own brand of ansty extraness. Basically, pick your poison. They’re all bitter and hard to swallow. 

There’s a lot of controversy around The Big Bang and what River remembers and what not, but let’s consider this for a second: assuming she does genuinely think the universe will close with the Doctor on the other side, she’s agreeing to let her whole life be rewritten. Mind, this is the same woman that later DIES to protect her life and memories with the Doctor. Amy, Rory, and 11 don’t realize it at the time, but when River lets the Doctor climb into the Pandorica and fly it into the heart of the TARDIS, she’s taking the risk of never existing herself. She says, he hardly knows her and now he never will, but what she means is River Song will disappear and Melody Williams will take her place. She is literally self sacrificing at every opportunity. 

Another casual reminder: Remember that time she broke her wrist and tried to hide it because heaven forbid she be mortal for five seconds? And then slapped her husband because he has the audacity to love her? Yup, extra. The entire episode of THORS. If you want a crash course on how to make a scene, this is the ep for you. She makes her entrance by wearing a bright red Mrs. Claus cloak and threatens to remove peoples vital organs. Iconic. And then she follows it up with an overdramatic display of how her “love” will rise again. Meanwhile her medusa hair is just tingling with excitement over how close she is to murdering this sucker of a king. 

Anyway, back to the angst. Her speech is the obvious choice here and we’ve all cried over it a thousand times. She could have ranted about anything to kill time before the meteor strike. She could have laughed about how you can’t trust that slippery fellow, Jim, the fish. She could have listed the inaccuracies of the Byzantium movie, gone on for ten minutes of how it really went down and oh by the way, I’m one of only three survivors and I hunt weeping angels for fun. Forget the Doctor, I’m far more dangerous than he is. She could have bragged about her significant history of escaping. That would have made the most sense, considering that’s literally what she’s about to do. hahaha here’s my master plan and you can’t do a damn thing to stop it. Toodaloo suckers. Enjoy being deep fried.  

But she doesn’t. She talks about the Doctor, as if convincing a room full of strangers he doesn’t love her will save him from danger. Maybe she even convinces herself because she feels responsible for her parents. Maybe she steals diamonds and acts like a thief because she is one. Maybe she feels like she stole something from the Doctor and she tells herself he doesn’t give a damn because he’s better off without her. Moral of the story, he’s always her first thought in a crisis. How can I protect him, how can I save him? Even when he’s not around to see it. She’s so damaged affected by their love affair that it’s second nature for River to scream into the void that the people she loves most don’t give a damn about her. It doesn’t matter (that they’re her parents). You don’t expect a sunset to admire you back. is it a defense mechanism because everyone she loves leaves her? Probably. But only someone who’s extra shouts about their insecurities to a room full of criminals. 

And on a slightly less obvious note, when River and 12 first land on Starship Super Villains R Us, was it really necessary for her to blatantly incriminate herself? She tells what she thinks is some random guy about how this ship is full of despicable people, planet burners and murders and criminals. And then she gives him an icy stare and says, do try the fish. A neon sign of I come here often. In no way was it necessary to inform this guy that she has no qualms with murder. But she does because if she wants to believe her own lie, that she’s heartless and cold, she has to convince others first.    

And last but not least, she straight up haunted her husband’s ass. Ex👏tra👏. Now whether you believe the haunting was full time or just in TNOTD, you can’t deny that the look on her face when she says he left her like a book on a shelf. She didn’t have to follow Eleven and Clara through the tomb explaining things to Clara, but she does. She doesn’t have to flirt with the Doctor and give him the come hither eyes even though she thinks he can’t see/hear her. But she does. Cuz she’s extra.

[whaaattheflower]

Top 10 Bias Tag

I was tagged by @earthtogot7​, @m0onbean​, and @park9495​ - Thank you so much I love doing tags even though I take about 298347 years to get to them. But also y’all really got me fucked up with this tag holy shit. 

Rules: Write down your top 10 biases and answer the questions below.

Namjoon (BTS)

Jaebum (Got7)

Young K (Day6)

Taeyong (NCT U, NCT 127)

Vernon (Seventeen)

T.O.P. (Big Bang)

Hanbin (iKon)

Kai (EXO)

Chan (Stray Kids)

Jae (Day6) 

Between 1 and 4, who would you rather kiss? Namjoon and Taeyong God I really fucking want to kiss both of them, like yes, Namjoon is technically my ult of ults, but also...Lee Taeyong gave me whiplash thats all I’m sayin.

Between 2 and 7, who would be your best friend? Jaebum and Hanbin Personally I feel like I’d be able to be best friends with both. I see relatable personality traits in both and I think I would get along really well with Jaebum and Hanbin.

Between 5 and 7, who has the best voice? Vernon vs Hanbin Hanbins voice is great too but there’s something about Vernon 🙄

Between 1 and 8, who is the funniest? Namjoon vs Kai  I might be a little biased bc I’ve been watching Andante recently and Kai’s character has been making me emo as hell but also has me cracking up. Namjoon is funny though, I will give him that. 

Between 6 and 9, who would you date? T.O.P. vs Chan  Don’t get me wrong, I love T.O.P. but I love Chan hes so precious and I highkey relate to him in many aspects. I just want to show him that I love and appreciate him for who he is and all that he does, especially after watching Stray Kids.

Between 9 and 10, who would you collab with? Chan and Jae Both are talented as hell and I literally cannot decide. I feel like with both of them there would be different things we could do for the collab so I cant choose.

Between 4 and 8, who is the best dancer? Taeyong vs Kai I instantly thought about That Step™ that Taeyong is front and center for in Cherry Bomb but lets be real, Kai’s dancing is fucking breathtaking.

Between 3 and 5, who would you like to marry? Young K vs Vernon Literally fuck my life. I love both of them but I’m gonna have to go with Young K. Vernon is precious too and I love him with my whole heart but I’m ready to actually give Younghyun my heart within a heartbeat. 

Between 1 and 7, who would you nurse when they’re sick? Namjoon and Hanbin Listen. I know I’ve picked both people a few times in this tag but they’re both hardworking leaders and they’re precious and you can pry my love for them out of my cold dead hands.

Between 2 and 3, who has the best smile? Jaebum vs Young K Jaebum’s smile literally melts my heart and nothing makes me happier than finding a picture of him grinning and happy. Like Young K smiling makes me soft but Jaebum literally makes me want to scream because he’s so precious. Protect both of them at all costs though.

Between 6 and 8, who would you go on vacation with? T.O.P. vs Kai Look yo, T.O.P.? A whole man, beautiful as fuck, an aesthetic and art Hoe™, all of which I love and appreciate about him and I’m down for BUT. Kai and I would have a fucking blast and we can also just teleport anywhere we want to go, yk?

Wow okay this literally took so much longer than I expected and genuinely had me a lil stressed. I had fun doing it though!

I’m tagging: @hoodiejaebum @jj-nyoung @edawniie @confessionsofashyfangirl @eyesoftheshinigami @yoonikawrn @jinjins-freckles @marktuantuantuan @makeu-ssi and @got7-markjinson 👉🏽😎👉🏽 suffer with me friends

[forever-yoongis]

My chemistry of love

Ships: Namjoon x reader, Yoongi x reader, Jungkook x reader

Genre: Fluff

"Whoa gurl", you whistle as you watch your friend getting a real tongue-bath from his boyfriend on her doorstep. "Heyy", Ann complains, crossing her arms. "That's like, my binocular and you're not letting me see through it. Give me that!" She snatches away the binoculars from your hand. You puff your cheeks in annoyance. "What the hell", you murmur, "I'm missing out on the best part".

Ann giggles in delight as she watches Sophie make-out with Namjoon. You were currently standing on the roof-top of an old,abandoned building opposite to Sophie's house, along with a very delighted Ann, over-enthusiastic Jungkook and a very grumpy Suga. Over the years you had been with Sophie, the two of you had realized that the roof-top was perfect for stalking purposes, especially when you wanted a sneak-peak at what your friend has been doing with her boyfriend for a whole day.

You snatch away the binoculars of the boy standing next to you who whimpers in protest. "Excii, don't do that!" He complains but you turned a deaf ear to the boy's protests. You needed a clear view of what was going on, also pics (if possible ) for blackmail purposes. Jungkook kept stomping his foot and whining at how mean you were becoming but one glare from you shut him up. "Yah, stop being a child. You're not getting getting to play Overwatch with me if you keep up with that kind of behaviour". That effectively shut him up, at least for now.

______________________________________________

I squinted at the scene unfolding in front of me, my tongue sticking out a bit as I tried to concentrate which wasn't getting any easier considering Exci and Jungkook kept bickering beside me. "Yah you two!", I snapped. "I'm going to stick a 'been fucking together' sticker on your backs if you don't stop your nonsense right now", I glared at the two. Exci merely rolled her eyes and looked ahead, but Jungkook looked way more affected by my words and he stood still as a statue, his cheeks a burning red. I chuckled to myself. These two are the next victims of my awesome match-making skills, I thought. I swear I'm going to call Yoongi "Suga Daddy" for the rest of my life if I don't get these two fuck- I mumbled under my breath. Which reminds me, where is Yoongi?

He's been grumpy since morning and I practically had to drag his lazy ass here to the roof-top today. As if reading my thoughts, Yoongi spoke behind me. "Why are you so excited to see your friend make-out that way?" He grumbles, "it's not like you let me do it to you ever", he huffs. I blush deeply at his words and whisper urgently, "Now's not a good time Yoongi! Later,later". I sighed. The kiss was finally over and they were doing some emo business together, with their foreheads resting against each other. Not interested, I think as I toss the binocular to Exci.

"You promise right?", I feel a pair of hands snake around my waist and I hit at them. Even though I couldn't see his face, I could imagine him smirking as he laid his chin on my shoulder. "Yeah, yeah whatever", I mumble a reply.

"Not here, you two!", Exci breaks into the moment and I look at her to see her standing with her arms crossed,pissed at us. I spot Jungkook standing beside her, his head bent low with embarrassment. "You're embarrassing him", Exci chides us, putting a reassuring arm over Jungkook's shoulder. He blushes even harder, at which Yoongi smirks, "don't start imagining stuff yet, bunny. You two have a long way to go", he yawns, slinging an arm around my shoulder. Jungkook looks up in alarm, looking back and forth between a very pissed Exci and a very smug and satisfied Yoongi.

"Enough you all", I murmur, dragging a snickering Yoongi back to the staircase that lead us down.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As Namjoon walked down the stairs, his heart thumping with all that had happened a while ago. He had quickly left after the kiss, promising that he'll call later again that day, his burning cheeks a proof of his embarrassement. He quickly reaches the platform and leaves the building,only to find himself surrounded by two men, one giving him a murderous glare.

...."And you call yourself the leader of BTS!!" Yoongi scolds Namjoon, "I never really expected this behaviour from you", he mutters under his breath. Jungkook, standing next to him, was still very flustered by the whole situation and kept nodding his head at everything Yoongi said.

"Making out on the terrace?", Yoongi slaps his forehead while Namjoon sheepishly smiles at him.

Jungkook nods.

"You do know that anyone could've taken a picture of you two?" Yoongi glowers at him.

Jungkook nods once again.

"Yah Jungkookie, stop nodding your head at everything I say", Yoongi chides him,but it was doubtful whether any of his words were getting into his head. Jungkook seemed to be lost in his own little bunny world where Exci and Jungkook hopped around the garden together (I'm laughing so hard as I write this lmao :3).

He nods again.

"Jeez, this kid", Yoongi sighs turning towards Namjoon.

Another nod from the lost Kookie.

"What kind of an example are you setting for the younger ones?" He raises an eyebrow at Namjoon. "You sound like a grandpa right now, you know?" Namjoon laughs at him, at which he gives him a death glare.

Another nod.

"At this rate, Jungkookie here will start fuckin with that Exci girl on the road," he rolls his eyes, "all because of you", he exaggeratingly points at Namjoon.

And Jungkook nods again without listening.

"What?" Their hands snap towards the maknae wide-eyed with alarm, at which he looked confused. Then his eyes suddenly lights up with realization and he starts blushing furiously, "n-no I wasn't even listening to what you were sayin-" "that's even worse, you know", Yoongi grumbles waving him off.

"C'mon let's go, we're kinda late", he says, dragging the other two behind him.

______________________________________________

Namjoon sits at his company meetings with the other members, feeling unusually restless. He keeps glancing towards the phone screen after a few seconds, grabbing the phone from the desk after a few minutes then, as if the notifs system in his phone were deliberately plotting against him, not showing him the messages you were sending. He sighs as he drops the phone on the table again after staring at your chat for a few second. There were no new messages.

You, on the other hand, were in no better condition. Although you were seated in front of the computer, you could hardly concentrate, as your eyes kept looking at the phone screen beside you. Frustrated that he wasn't sending you anything, you would pick up the phone, determined to send him something instead. You would type out a reply, then delete it and end up reading the old conversations between you over and over again.

Yoongi was seated beside Namjoon was glancing at the younger member for he seemed clearly distracted. He sighs and nudges Namjoon with his elbow, at which he breaks out of his reverie, looking startled. "Concentrate", he warns him in a low voice, looking straight ahead. Namjoon nods his head at first but then would stare at the phone again after sometime.

The room was silent except for the faint buzzing noise coming from the presentation that was being shown to them. Something about the album designs and costume, Namjoon had thought,not really interested. The silence of the room suddenly breaks with a ping! noise coming from his phone. The screen lights up with notification from Sophie.

Sophie: You busy now?

Namjoon grabs his phone quickly to reply. "No", Yoongi warns again giving him a glare, but the boy was already too engrossed to reply.

Namjoon: Nope

Sophie: So ...

Sophie: Considering that all our earlier dates didn't go as planned and that we didn't have a proper date yet...

Namjoon's face breaks out in a grin as he types out a reply, "You're asking me out on a date right?"

It was a while before you replied again.

Sophie: .....Technically, yes.

He practically jumps out of his seat in joy, startling all the other members, but he furiously goes on typing, ignoring everyone else in the room.

Namjoon: You free tomorrow?

Sophie: Yes :)

Namjoon: Tomorrow then, 6pm :)

He puts down the phone beside him, satisfied with the new plans and then turns his head towards the screen to finally concentrate on what was being shown. Jin raises an eyebrow at him in suspicion, clicking his tongue, while Yoongi starts rubbing his temples, murmuring something along the lines of "you guys are going to make me old from making me worry".

Taehyung excitedly whispers something to Jungkook sitting next to him, who nods his head furiously. Namjoon looked around, confused and completely oblivious of the ruckus he had just created with his behaviour. Bang PD was shaking his head, laughing at the boys' weird antics. That was when Jimin snatched the phone from where it was kept beside Namjoon. He shouts out a "hey", trying to reach out but Jimin had already passed the phone to the other members who were excitedly trying to investigate into his phone. Namjoon tries to desperately to take back his own phone but fails, and the younger members start squealing. They had finally discovered his wallpaper which was a picture of you in a sea-green dress, grinning widely at the camera. They passed around the phone in excitement and even Bang PD seemed intrigued by the picture he was shown by J-Hope. Only Yoongi looked grim, who clearly looked done with the group. At first, he tried to protest asking the others to start concentrating on the work at hand, then seeing that no-one was really listening to him, he shut his mouth, sitting back in his chair with a poker-face, that looked ready to roast anyone who tried to mess with him. The members deftly avoided giving Yoongi the phone and kept remarking and teasing a now very flustered and embarrassed Namjoon who did not know where to hide his face.

______________________________________________

Standing in front of your large, wall length mirror, you did a little spin in the dress your friends had picked up for you. It was your date night; The dress was plain red, with a thin golden belt at the waist, made of a soft and comfortable stretchy material, and it hugged your hips and thighs like a glove. The dress reached a few inches beyond your thighs, upto your knees. Your friends had picked out a pair of heels for you to wear despite knowing that you hated wearing them. "You need to dress real good for Namjoon", Exci had insisted, with Ann nodding her head in agreement beside her. Knowing that you couldn't possibly have won an argument with the two, you had let it rest, complying to whatever they made you wear that night.

You were currently making your way out of the house. Namjoon had personally come to pick you up today, and your breath hitched to see him dressed so well in a black suit. Blushing, you had commented him, "you should wear suits more often. T-they look g-good on you", you had stammered out to him at which he had laughed heartily. "Anything for you, and you look very beautiful too", he had replied.

The drive to the restaurant had been a quiet one, with you playing the role of a DJ, switching between the radio stations trying to find one that played a song you liked. After flipping through a few stations, you hear a familiar voice coming out from the speakers and you smile at Namjoon beside you. Namjoon looks straight ahead while driving, but his eyes crinkle with his smiling. It was a song from his solo album.

You slump back into your seat, humming softly to the tune and soon you two reach the restaurant.

"This feels nice", you close your eyes heavily as you lean back into your chair.

Namjoon had booked an entire restaurant for you, at which you had scolded him terribly. "Yah, I know you're rich, but that's no way to spend your money!" You had said,pointing your finger at the man in front of you. He had pouted and frowned at you for a while, calling you "a miserly woman" and whatnot, but then grabbed hold of the finger you were pointing at him and pressed a kiss to it. "C'mon let's sit down, now shall we?" You were miffed by how he ignored your words completely and took you by surprise by the sudden kiss, that too on your fingertips. You shook your head in defeat.

When the waitres came to take their order, she couldn’t help but smile at the two women, who looked stupidly in love despite the relationship being so new. This iconic couple was all over the news and she supported them wholeheartedly. After handing them the menu, she walked back to the bar to place their drink order before heading to the kitchen to hand in the rest of it.

______________________________________________

"Oh?" You look up at him. You two had been talking about random stuff till it entered the more sensitive topic of family. You learnt that Namjoon had a sister and that she was very much interested to meet you. You smile at him, "I'd love to meet her". He grinned widely at you when you said that, then went on listening intently as you described the mixed reactions you had received from your family when they had heard you were dating him. Your mom being very supportive, while your dad grumbling a bit at how much you had grown up. That drew a laugh from Namjoon. "At least I don't have to listen to that. My sister gets it every time she starts dating someone", he laughs as he takes a sip from his drink.

His phone suddenly started buzzing and he sighed, putting down his drink, looking at you silently for permission. You merely nodded your head, "go ahead. It might be something important". He picks up his phone, to see a message from his sister.

Sis: You there yet?

Namjoon: Yeah!!

Sis: Don't forget to send me the pics :)

Namjoon had to laugh at that. Wow, she's now acting all like a grown-up. He replies

Namjoon: Yah. You're still a kid

Sis: 😝

Namjoon laughed a bit more at his sister's weird antics. Your heart skipped a bit to see him laugh. You look at him dreamily. When did I become such a sap,you wonder. Even the sound of his laughter sounds ethereal, you think as you rest your chin on your palms and ask, " What's up? What's so funny?" Namjoon, not wanting to reveal how much of a sap he was for you said, "it's nothing". If he had told you about his sister,you would definitely want to have a look at his conversation with her and you'd get to see all of those texts where he had ranted about how whipped he was for you. But it seemed like his plan backfired, for you snatched away his cell phone. "Let me see!" You laugh at him as he tries to reach for it, but you move away your hand so that the phone is well beyond his reach.

You laugh heartily at his failed attempts to try and snatch the phone from you when in reality, he had actually let you win the fight. If she wants to see how much I love her, then fine. He had thought to himself.

You sat turned away from him, shielding the phone with your hand as you scrolled through the chat. Oh so it was his sister! You think as you come across how she had asked for pictures and he had scolded her for acting like a grown-up. So that's why he laughed, you think.

You chuckle a bit too looking at their sibling banters when you come across his texts where he speaks of you.

Namjoon had told her everything. From the very first day you had met and how much his heard had pounded to see a girl so close to him. He spoke about his unnatural desire to get treated by you. He spoke about how different you were because you never looked at him as if he was someone to be worshipped and idolised,but to be loved and cherished. You had treated him like a human being, something which he hadn't gotten from anyone else except his band members and his family.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you scrolled through the texts. If you had been standing, you would've collapsed to the ground by now for your knees trembled like crazy. He wrote about how crazy you made him feel, how he had first asked you out on a whim which turned out to be one of the best decisions ever made.

You blushed furiously at his words, as you wondered how the hell did you get so lucky to get someone like him. Your mouth was agape at his words next where he spoke of his love for you and how even though you two had met just a month ago, it felt as if he could spend his whole life with you. At this point of time, you didn't even care to look at his sister's reply and kept scrolling upwards, in order to read more of what Namjoon thought of you. You kept on scrolling upwards, ignoring your pounding heart that swelled with love for you and your mind that screamed at you to stop reading any further because it felt like you would burst, but you kept at it. The first wave of emotions hit you like a tsunami as you finished reading his words. No one had described you the way he did. You looked up at him, close to tears when you saw him gazing intently at you from the opposite seat, his jaws resting on his knuckles. He smiled at your reaction and said, "like what you read there?"

Your eyes became wide at his words as you speak out, "Oh Namjoon...." and he takes your hands in his larger ones, moving his thumb slowly over your knuckles. You slipped your fingers between his slender ones at which he remarked, "your hands are too small", chuckling softly. At that, you stick your tongue out at him, "just admit that yours are too big", you look away pouting. Too cute, he thinks to himself as he grins. "Yes, they're big enough to hold the whole world in it", he says. You raise an eyebrow at him, thinking that he was going to launch into one of his arrogant speeches of conquering the world with the music he composed with his hand. You try to think of a snarky, befitting reply when his large hands cups around your face. "See? It fits", he grins at you widely and you hit him playfully. "Too cheesy", you grumble under your breath buy your heart was already threatening to burst from your chest.

You try diverting the topic and say instead, "you should eat. Your food's gonna get cold". At that, he lifts his chin up as if pondering over a serious matter. Then he looks straight at you, with a look in his eyes that he couldn't quite comprehend. You swallow thickly under his intense gaze. "Why should I worry about my food getting cold when my favourite kind of food is sitting right in front of me?" He whispers and you go stiff at his words. Not knowing what to reply, you lift your middle finger at him, murmuring, "fuck you". Namjoon smirks at that, "anything to please you", at which your eyes grew wide. Then you mumble and stammer under your breath, "I-I don't want to do it so quick, and u-unless we're g-getting m-married". His eyes grow softer at that and he looks at you fondly before patting your head, "I ain't going anywhere. But I won't do anything that you're not comfortable with".

_______________________________________________

The ride home in his car was a quiet and a comfortable one. The two of you had spent the whole evening together, and were tired but happy by now. You once again took up the role of a DJ, flipping between stations till you heard his voice playing in the radio.

"You really like listening to my voice,huh?" He teases you, at which you scoff. "I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like it if I liked listening to some other male artist", and this more or less put an end to his teasing at least for today.

You slumped back in your seat, feeling secured with the comfortable presence of your boyfriend beside you and let his soothing voice from the radio envelope you. You soon fall asleep on the front seat of his car.