#yes I’m tweaking in comments again

[gayalanwake]

[kyuujo]

↳ check yes or no

↳ sae itoshi x fem!reader ↳ sfw ↳ influencer!reader, established relationship, hidden(ish) relationship, going public, language, fluff + crack(?), jealous!sae, kissing on livestream, slight possessiveness, shat outta my ass ngl, my writing

↳ 1.3k words

↳ i’m sorry sae has me in a chokehold (i love it harder pls) and this little brain bug just randomly slid into my skull sooooo here it is! thank you all so much for reading and i hope you enjoy dahlings! <3

(y/u/n)fan1998: welcome back lovely!

switterz: good to see you again! hope ur feeling better!

emi44578: i missed you so much!

a smile pulled at your lips and your chest warmed at the multitude of messages flooding your livestream. your throat was still a little sore, but thankfully your stomach had stopped rolling the day prior, and you’d been fever free for twenty-four hours. you didn’t feel completely better, but you felt well enough to at least start a small stream.

“aw, thank you guys so much.” you croaked, voice slightly groggy and thick. “i’m feeling a bit better, but as you can probably hear, i’m not outta the woods yet.”

once more, messages flooded your screen, so fast that you could hardly catch more than a mere glimpse of one before it was pushed up by another. your fans seemed to be extremely pleased by your online appearance, and it made you so happy despite the sickness still weighing down your body.

you hated having to take time off, especially unexpectedly.

the chat slowed to a comfortable trickle as you dived into the events of the past week, starting off with how you even got sick in the first place. you had to tweak the truth a bit — after all, you couldn’t exactly tell your audience that you’d caught a cold by attending your boyfriend’s game alongside a snotty, congested child.

“… this kid was sneezing all over the place, and the mother didn’t even care to wipe his nose or the things he sneezed on. it was so gross.” you complained, receiving a fair share of agreements and sympathies from your viewers.

it was as you were berating the mothering skills of a complete stranger when something familiar caught your eye. a username followed by a simple message, one you’d seen time and time again.

(y/n)husband1: (y/n) will you go out with me? check yes or no

you forced out a small laugh and shook your head as you addressed the message. your skin felt tight suddenly, that username always putting you off just slightly.

“i’m afraid i’m going to have to check ‘no.’ i’m in a very happy relationship.” the same answer you gave every time.

there was a flurry of comments again, some berating the user who had even typed a message like that and others calling out cap on your statement. you were fairly used to that; you’d never even shown sae on camera before, so your relationship was as good as hearsay to your viewers.

“okay, let’s just calm down.” you chipped out, barely suppressing a cough that threatened to rip through your throat. “i’ll need to take some more medicine soon, so i don’t have very long. let’s do some q and a before i go.”

thirty minutes later and over two dozen questions answered, you finally said goodbye to your viewers and clicked off the livestream. your shoulders sagged with relief instantly, and you let out a small sigh.

“how’d it go?”

you startled at the sudden intrusion to your thoughts. sae’s voice was a smooth, seemingly uninterested rumble. you calmed your racing heart and hummed as you stood from your chair, raising your arms up to stretch out your stiff torso.

“not bad at all. they weren’t mad at me, at least.”

sae rolled his eyes as you ambled to his side, his arm immediately sliding around your hip as he guided you to the sitting quarters.

“so what if they were? the feelings and thoughts of insignificant strangers aren’t important.”

you clapped your palm over his chest gently and shushed him. sae was always blunt like this; but his words did remind you of something.

“oh. that reminds me. (y/n)husband1 struck again.”

you know you didn’t imagine the way sae’s fingers tightened on your hip. was it wrong that you took some pleasure in that? maybe.

“what did they say this time?” sae murmured a bit tightly.

you huffed and rolled your eyes. “the same thing they always say. ‘(y/n) will you go out with me? check yes or no.’”

“it’s incredible they don’t already have a girlfriend, what with that irresistible smooth talk.” sae quipped, pulling a giggle from your throat. you shook your head and wrapped your arm around his rib cage, stumbling slightly from the awkward position.

“let’s just go find a movie, baby.” you suggested, your statement quickly garnering sae’s agreement. cuddles late into the night were always your favorite; and you had a feeling they were sae’s too.

three days later, you were completely recovered and back to your usual streaming schedule. your viewers were quite happy with the development, and for the most part, it was smooth sailing.

well, except for the occasional whirlpool conjured by the appearance of (y/n)husband1. they seemed to strike when you least expected it, and always with the same stupid question — the same stupid question that earned the same stern answer.

even your viewers seemed to be becoming irate by it, as they expressed their distaste on multiple occasions.

switterz: why dont u just block them from your streams? they’re annoying!

(y/u/n)fan1998: yea they’re clogging up the chat log all the time! and harassing u!

you wet your lips and said, slightly timidly, “well, technically, they aren’t breaking any rules guys. the best thing to do is simply ignore them, like i do.”

a majority of the chat seemed to disagree, but you weren’t wrong in what you said; though they spammed the same message again and again, they technically weren’t breaking any of the rules you had set in place during your first few streams.

suddenly, as if on the drop of a hat, the chat began to flood with a different topic — one that seemed to have taken over the controversy of (y/n)husband1 entirely.

switterz: SAE FCKIN ITOSHI????

emi44578: why is sae itoshi in ur house?!!?!?????

jackerquack: WTF HELLO SAE

user193949294: DONT TELL ME YOUR BF IS SAE ITOSHI!!!!

usererror404: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE THERES NO WAY

“what—?”

“i have to agree with the chat. you should block them.”

you swiveled around in your chair only to nearly touch noses with sae. your eyes widened and your lips popped open. what the hell was he doing? wasn’t his pr manager the one that insisted his relationship with you stay underwraps? just what was even happening?

there were hundreds of questions you wanted to ask, but in your pure shock you simply could work any past your lips; sae blinked once, then twice, before turning his eyes to the monitor in front of you.

“for those who have been wondering if she’s in a relationship, she is. with me. so no more harassment, or lying accusations.”

your heart was literally racing in your chest, your entire body frozen. sae was acting completely normal, as if he hadn’t just gone against every wish of his pr manager. you didn’t feel scared, per se, but the only emotion you could liken what you felt to was fear.

“demonking12 says they don’t believe it.” sae observed smoothly, eyes skimming down the chat. “and there’s some others who second that…”

you couldn’t even look at your screen — your eyes were glued to sae. how could he be so calm right now?!

sae turned to meet your stare of disbelief, and your stomach rolled when his lips quirked into the smallest, most mischievous smirk you’d ever seen grace his features.

“should we prove it?”

“um, what—?” you couldn’t even finish your blubbering before sae leaned in quickly and captured your lips with his — right in 4k!

the kiss wasn’t messy, or even sultry in nature, but it had your nerves lighting up and your cheeks flaring. sae’s lips were soft, warm, and almost commanding — it lasted a total of three seconds, but it was long enough to have your legs feeling weak.

sae pulled away but left just enough space between the two of you that you could see the sly swipe of his tongue across his bottom lip — as if he were collecting remnants of your taste.

“i’m pretty sure you’ve met your hour stream goal; time to entertain me, now.”

thank you so much for reading and i hope you enjoyed! likes, comments and reblogs are by no means required but are so greatly appreciated! <33

[russo-woso]

Trouble maker || Alessia Russo x reader

Request | Masterlist

Summary Bubba gets into trouble at school for the first time which means it’s the first time you and Alessia have to deal with consequences of bubba’s actions

A/N Part of the A New Adventure universe

“Hello?” You asked, picking up your phone.

“Hiya, this is Miss Carter, Florence’s TA. There’s been a bit of an incident and we’d like it if you and Mrs Russo could come have a meeting with us.”

“Of course. Is Florence okay?” You questioned, panic running through you.

“Yes, everything’s fine. No one’s hurt but we just need to discuss something with you.”

“Okay, we’ll be there in half an hour.” You told her

“Thank you, Mrs Russo. I’ll see you soon.”

You put your phone down, rushing out of the changing rooms.

You’d finished training earlier, having tweaked your ankle in training and Renee telling you to sit out for precaution.

“Less! Alessia!” You shouted from across the field but still you got no response.

You ran more towards them, despite the pain in your ankle.

“Less!”

“Hiya, love. I thought you were heading back home.”

“I was, until I got a call from Wrens teacher. We need to go to the school and have a meeting with them.” You explained

“About what? Is Wren okay?”

“Wren is fine but they need to talk to us about something. We need to leave.”

“You two go. Our team’s little gooner comes first.” Renee said, overhearing your conversation.

“Thank you, Renee. We’ll see you tomorrow.” Alessia told her before running towards the changing rooms, assuming you were running behind her.

“Lessi! I can’t run. My ankle hurts.” You said, Alessia picking you up bridal style before running to the changing rooms with you in her arms.

Alessia quickly showered - the quickest showers in shower history - before changing and getting your stuff.

Alessia drove you both to Wrens school, making it just in time.

“Let’s see what our Wrens been up to.” Alessia said, taking your hand in hers as you walked into the reception area.

“Hi Mrs Russos. If you could just follow me.” Florence’s actual teacher - Mrs Cooke - told you, guiding you through to a separate meeting room where Wren was sat - her face red and blotchy, tear stains down her cheeks.

Your heart broke as you set eyes on your five year old.

You and Alessia took a seat on either side of wren.

“So, we’ve had a bit of an incident this morning.” Mrs Cooke began, Wren’s head falling as tears began to form in her eyes. “A classmate of Florence’s said a comment and in retaliation, Florence punched said child. Now, we’ve dealt with this said child and they’ve gone home for not only their injury, but also for their comment towards Wren. We understand that Florence may have had a lot of anger towards this child but violence is not accepted or tolerated in our school.”

“Oh, Wren…” you whispered, wren not looking up as her head continued to hang with shame. “I’m so sorry this has happened. I can assure you this will never happen again.”

“Both of them have apologised to one another and the other child’s parents are fine with the situation and won’t be taking it any further. I would suggest you take Wren home, I think it’s been a crazy day for her.” Her teacher said and you and Alessia nodded in agreement.

“Thank you.” Alessia told her, standing up before you walked out with Florence.

The three of you walked to the car in silence.

“Mama, mummy, are you angry at me?” Wren asked as she got in the car.

“I’m angry and disappointed, Wren. What did they say to you to make you punch them?” You asked

“He said that you and mummy were bad footballers and that girls can’t play football.” Wren told you both, a proud look appearing on Alessia’s face as she continued to drive.

“And because he said this, you punched him?”

Florence nodded in response

“Auntie le said that if anyone said something or did something bad to me, I should punch them.” Wren explained, you rolling your eyes at the justification.

“Right, and you decided to listen to auntie le and punch him? Why didn’t you go tell a teacher? You can’t just hurt people, wren.”

“Auntie le’s always right though. And you and mummy not bad footballers.”

“Yeah but Wren, you—” you began but Alessia cut you off.

“—Love, she was only protecting us.”

“I don’t care, Alessia. She still hurt someone and she can’t do that. Wren, you’re grounded for two days. No iPad, no TV. Got it?” You told her and she nodded.

“Good. And when we get home, you’re going to your room for five minutes.”

The rest of the way home was silent, none of you saying another word.

When you arrived at home, Wren went up to her room, leaving you and Alessia alone.

“Baby, she was only protecting us. She didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Less, she punched a kid. She can’t be doing that. She hurt him. Can you imagine if that was the other way round and we got a call saying wren had been hurt by someone. You’d be fuming.” You said

“Too right. No one hurts our Wren.”

“Exactly, that’s how his parents must be feeling right now. It’s not acceptable, lessi. I need to go call le and find out when and why she told wren to punch a kid.” You said, grabbing your phone and walking towards the dining room, closing the door behind you for the quietness.

You clicked on Leah’s number, bringing the phone to your ear.

“Hiya le.”

“How’s Wren? What did she do?”

“Well, we’ve had an incident where she punched a boy in her class because her auntie le told her to punch someone if they were ever mean to her.” You said, a silence occurring as you finished your sentence.

“Well… I did tell her that but I didn’t think she’d listen.”

“Le, you’re like her auntie, in fact you are her auntie and she listens to you more than she listens to me and less. Please don’t tell her anything like that again.” You told her

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow where I’ll be giving you a proper lecture.” You said, a smile on your face as you said it.

“Oh god. Maybe I won’t go tomorrow.”

“Like vice captain Leah won’t go to training? Funny joke that is. Bye, le.”

You put the phone down, walking out of the dining room and seeing wren sat on the sofa with her iPad in hand.

“Umm, what an earth is this?” You questioned, gesturing to her iPad. “It hasn’t been five minutes. Why aren’t you in your room and why do you have your ipad?”

“Mummy said I could come down and watch Bluey.” Wren told you

“Alessia! I said she was grounded!”

“Love, she hasn’t done anything wrong. She protected us, I don’t see the big deal.” Alessia explained as you shook your head in disbelief.

“Are you kidding me? Wren, bubba, please go into the kitchen. I’ll call you through in a minute.”

Wren nodded, putting her iPad down and going into the kitchen.

“Less, how many times do I have to say it. She punched someone. If we don’t show her any consequences then she’ll just do it again. Please, I need to you to be on my side otherwise she’ll grow up hating me but loving you.”

Alessia slowly nodded, agreeing with your thinking.

“Thank you.”

“Wren!” Alessia called her through, wren soon walking into the living room.

Alessia picked wren up and sat her on her lap.

“Listen, bubba, what you did today is wrong and you can’t do it again. Because of your actions, me and mama have agreed that you’re grounded for two days. If you go to training with us, you’re grounded, if you go to nana and gramps house, you’re grounded. Mama’s spoken to auntie le and even auntie le said it was wrong. Now do you understand why you’re in trouble?” Alessia asked her

“I understand mummy. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, bubba. We understand why you did it but you can’t hurt people.” You added, hugging her tightly.

“I not listen to auntie le now. She tells me bad things.”

“Okay, bubba.” You laughed, running a hand through her hair.

“Can I still colour?” Wren asked and you nodded with a smile.

“Thank you.” You whispered to Alessia

“We’re a team, love. You don’t need to thank me.”

[bejeweledinterludes]

❝ are you in the mafia? ❞

❝ … am i in the what? ❞

「 pairing 」 : dean winchester x mafia ! reader

「 word count 」 : 1.3 k

「 content / warnings 」 : mob/mafia, incorrect mafia lore that i tweaked because i said it was okay to, canon-compliant violence, mentions of death, swearing

you have one ( 1 ) new message from the author ! ↓

HEYYY this was a request from @hpxmcusworld! i did end up making the reader gender neutral, i hope that’s okay— and that you enjoy, because this was really fun to write! thank you so so much for requesting and your kind words! <3

my masterlist

disclaimer: reminder that these are works of fiction. i do not support the real-life mafia / mob. read more here.

𖤐 ────────────────────────

this was so cool stupid.

that was the only thing going through dean winchester’s mind as he and sam knocked on the door of a very much too-big and not at all cool as shit house— because who in god’s name needed six garages with some fuckin’ awesome vintage cars? and a damn fountain in the driveway?

rich and pompous assholes.

that’s who.

“this ‘s so stupid,” dean echoes his half-thoughts out loud in a low mutter— throwing in an eyeroll before adjusting the tie of his fed threads.

sam squinted his eyes at his brother’s sheer reluctance to get through one single day without complaining— but before he could even say anything, a maid opened the door, looking between the both of them.

“can i help you gentlemen?” she asks, standing up a little straighter when she notices the suits.

“fbi, ma’am,” dean nods matter-of-factly as he flashes his badge, sam following suit. “need to speak to the owner of this house. it’s about the murder three days ago. it’s urgent.”

damn right, it was urgent. children were dropping like flies left and right in chicago— dying with no warning and decomposing almost immediately.

they needed answers.

so sam’s extensive research and cross-referencing police records had brought them to here— to the gigantic hand-carved wood front door of one of the families that currently ran the chicago mob.

(it also helped that one of the kids that died had been from this family, too— but sam enjoys click-clacking around on the computer.)

“oh, yes, of course,” the maid immediately recognized who they were talking about— why these definitely real fbi agents were here. “come in, please. i’ll notify of your presence.”

dean fights the urge to get excited roll his eyes.

again.

. • . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . 𖤐

“sorry to keep you waiting,” your voice rings out— one that sounded like you weren’t really sorry at all.

both dean and sam’s heads perk up to look at you, the supposed owner of the house entering what the maid called the ‘sitting room’.

which was actually pretty sick, because it totally felt like a mafia movie. you sat down in the matching lavish sofa across from them. you nodded once to the maid, who excused herself scurried off immediately. dean was reminded of a scene from goodfellas, one of his favorite movies that was similar.

which wasn’t cool at all.

“you look a little young to own a house this big,” dean bluntly remarks before thinking twice— and received a ‘dude’ look from sam.

they weren’t wrong. you appeared to be the same age as dean and sam, give or take a few years— and unmistakably attractive. though, you always thought the old architecture and style of the house made you look better.

“well, technically, it’s not exactly mine— yet,” you clarify, crossing a leg over the other as you eye the two men. “but it will be someday. i’m the next best thing right now. my father’s… handling business elsewhere.”

immediately you noticed the fact that they were not like any usual stick-up-the-ass dickwads that usually were oh so graciously in your presence— they seemed… pretty close to normal, actually.

“right,” sam interjects before dean could make some other comment that would end up with them back at square one. “anyways, we’re here because of—”

“my brother,” you interrupt sam, your eyes still flicking between them— and a slight smile on your face. “but, then again, you aren’t actually real agents, now are you?”

both dean and sam look at each other at that, a slight tremor of panic passing through each of them. dean speaks up this time—

“we—”

“are hunters,” you finish, titling your head a little as you look between them. “see, i do my research, too— or rather, my people do. you’re dean. that’s sam. you’re brothers, and you hunt monsters for a living.”

both dean and sam had whatever words they were going to say taken away from them when you dropped that bomb— they were used to having to tiptoe around that subject.

“well, it really is a good thing you’re here,” you continue without a beat, leaning back against the couch again, “i’m used to monsters being… y’know, people.”

dean and sam had finally relaxed a little after the initial shock wore off— and dean was starting to realize you weren’t what he expected. and maybe this wasn’t as stupid as he thought.

it was kinda like a godfather movie, if he was being honest.

and dean loved the godfather.

“you don’t seem like a complete…” dean trails off. in this line of work, it was rare to encounter someone with a good head on their shoulders, especially if they were filthy rich— but then again, he was glad he didn’t have to babysit.

“asshole?” you finish once again, raising your eyebrows, your smile ticking up higher. “yeah, it skips a generation. so, what’s the plan?”

“the plan?” sam echoes, both he and dean scoff a little, glancing between each other and you.

“yes, the plan,” you exaggerate the last word as sam did. “firstly, how many soldiers do you need?”

“soldiers?” both dean and sam echo you this time, their expressions mixed with shock and bewilderment.

“are you going to repeat everything i say?” you shake your head a little, uncrossing your legs and reaching to pour yourself a glass of whiskey with the crystal bottle. “yes, soldiers. i’m sure you’ve heard of la cosa nostra.”

oh, shit. la cosa nostra. dean’s heard the stories from the times he’s been through illinois— it was the ruthless mafia army composed soldiers from all 5 crime families that ran chicago. the mafia’s dean looked between you and his brother— and his eyes were a little less shocked. more… excited?

“you can— you have soldiers? that would help… us?” sam is the first to speak, considering dean was a little too… preoccupied about how cool this was actually was.

“well, they’ll do anything i say, so, yes,” you smoothly lean back against the couch again, re-crossing your legs. “they’ll be at your service, if you require it.”

“cool,” dean finally speaks, a slight smile turning on the corner of his mouth.

sam snaps his head to his brother, suppressing a slight eyeroll before talking to you again. “well, we don’t really know what we’re up against, but—”

“my resources will be yours,” you interrupt, placing your crystal glass of whiskey down. “anything you need, just ask.”

“really?” dean tilts his head, smile getting a little wider. “anything?”

“anything.” it was your turn to echo as you glance between them, talking a little quieter. “my brother didn’t… deserve to die the way he did. he was just a kid.”

“and we are sorry that happened,” sam attempts to revert the conversation back to the case, and not dean’s awestruck demeanor. “we can’t imagine.”

“we’re gonna figure out whatever this is, and make sure it never happens again,” dean snaps out of it for after a second— because he could imagine what it was like to lose a younger brother. he actually has before. “we’ll get the sonofabitch— y’know, make him swim with the fishes.”

that makes you smile— actually, genuinely smile. for the first time since your brother had died a week ago.

“i have no doubts,” you nod, uncrossing your legs once more, standing up and already starting deeper into the house as you talk. “now, let me show you the weapons hall. you boys might be able to use a couple things.”

“the weapons hall? dude,” dean almost jumps up from the couch, slapping sam on the shoulder— to which raises an eyebrow, shaking his head. the facade dean always put up when he was trying not to get excited was almost gone, if not completely. “c’mon, get movin’ sammy!”

okay, dean supposed, maybe working with the mafia would be cooler than he initially first thought. because this was kinda cool. you were kinda cool.

mostly the mafia part, though. not necessarily because he thought you were super awesome or anything.

at least, that’s what dean was telling himself.

───────────────────────── 𖤐

my master taglist (so far): @blossomingorchids @bluemerakis @ambiguous-avery @maddie0101 @titsout4jackles @deansbeer @sunsbaby @emeraldcrs @h8aaz @honeyryewhiskey @supernotnatural2005 @cowboysandcigarettes @soldiersgirl @figthoughts @mostlymarvelgirl @amaris444 @kaz-2y5-spn @littlesoulshine @starzify @velvetparkerx @eggggggggggggggggggggsblog @fuckedupfate @liiiilsss @angelblqde + i missed anyone OR if you want to be added/taken off, please just comment / send an ask! <3

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Olde Bakery 2

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: mob!Syverson, plus-size reader

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

The man squeezes until you ache. His nails dig into your flesh as his eyes devour you. Your cleavage swells as he toys with you. You quiver and ball your hands to keep from keeling over.

Your confusion mingles with disbelief. Your eyes wet with futility. Why is he doing this to you? He doesn't even know you? You don't even know his name. Though you know what he can do.

He slips his hands around you and steps closer. You lower your eyes as you struggle to take a full breath. His thick fingers pick at the back of your bra. He tugs and pinches but only unclasps one hook. Impatient, he wrenched with both hands and snaps the others free.

You jolt with his strength. He roughly rips the straps down your arms and exposes you completely. You whimper and fold your arms to hide.

He hums and grasps your shoulders. He pushes until you drop your arms. His gaze makes your skin crawl.

"You take off the rest for me, kitten," he commands in a grizzly timbre.

His voice bristle through you. You can't deny him. Slowly, he lets you go. As you reach for your waistband, he tweaks your nipples and growls again.

"Mmm, tasty," he grits.

You sniffle and shimmy down your pants. He steps back to let you shed them. He drags his fingers up and down your stomach and again fondles your chest.

"You sit pretty for me, sweet thing," he bounces your tits one last time and draws away.

You gulp and sit in the chair. The wood is cold against your naked ass. You see past him the large windows. Anyone could see in. They probably already have.

He cracks his neck loudly and pops his knuckles. He rests his hands on his belt and picks the button open. He splits the zipper and spreads it wide. You whimper as he reaches under his gray boxers. He pumps himself before bring his dick above the waistband. You stare at his shirt, mortified.

He steps closer as you shiver and clutch your hands tightly over your lap. He brings his hand up to pet your hair and glides around to the back. He cradles your skull as he grips himself in his other hand.

"Now, kitten, you be nice and soft for me," he ligthly presses his tip along your lower lip, "open up."

You bat your lashes and look up at him with a pleading pout. Your tears pour out and trickle down your cheeks. He shifts his hand and stretches his thumb to trace the wet path left by your fear.

"Shhhh, kitten, I can be good to you," he leans into you and pushes until you unlock your jaw.

You let him in and he groans. Your warmth hugs him snugly and he drones in delight. He inches inside and shudders. He splays his finger around your head and forces himself deeper, letting out a guttural groan.

"Mmm, yes, you are sweet," he wiggles his hips as you gag and your tears leak out unchecked. He slides back and you quake, only for him to smother you again with his thick length. Your throat aches around his intrusion. "Think I'll be taking you to go.”

He thrusts again and you grasp at the front of his pants. He rocks, groaning as he brings his other hand under your chin. Your jaw aches with each invasion, each gruelling delve down deeper.

"Mm, sweet thing," he snarls as he locks your head in his grip and holds you still.

He works his hips faster and faster, fucking your face as you sit helpless to his onslaught. Your push a hand up his stomach, begging with gulps and gags for him to slow. Saltiness mingles with your saliva as it smears around your mouth and across your cheeks, wetting your nose as it spreads along his pelvis.

You gurgle and roll your eyes back, your head throbbing and cloudy. He grunt and pumps harder and harder. You feel him tense and tremble. Before you can brace yourself, he finishes with a stifled roar.

He empties himself down your throat, drowning you in the deluge as he fucks his cum deep. You cough and your mouth overflows, a sickly dribble down your chin. He stays buried in you then slowly eases out.

You spasm as you restrain the swell of sickness as your gag reflex twitches. He traces his tip around your lips to smear the mess around. He hums and pulls away, letting out a shaky breath as he does.

You cover your lips as you fight the bile brewing beneath the mouthful. Your lashes flutter as you try to decide what to do. He tuts as he swipes a napkin from the holder on the counter.

“Don't you be spittin’ that out. You swallow down my sugar,” he demands.

Your eyes round as you struggle not to revolt. You seal your lips and your throat clenches in a painful gulp. You push your lips out and try to mop up the tears with your knuckles.

“Aw, kitten, you ain't never had a real man, have ya?” He tucks himself away and zips his fly. “Well, aren't many of those ‘round here, huh?”

You sniffle and rest your hand on your chest, just against your collar bone. You inhale and let it out carefully, trying to calm yourself. He bites his lip as he considers you.

“Think I'll be taking a coffee now,” he bends to scoop up the apron and tosses it at you, “and one of them cinnamon buns. Looks almost as sweet as you.”

You catch the fabric and stare at him. He passes you and you stare at the windows. You slowly uncrumple the apron and stand. You tie it on and turn away from the chair.

You go behind the counter and grab a porcelain mug. You fill it with medium roast and pick out one of the glazed buns. You bring both to the table where he sits calmly.

“I'll take some cream,” he says, “had my fill of sugar.”

[frenziedfireworks]

Late Nights

Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Summary : You are super tired but your boyfriend has other ideas.

CW : SMUT, 18+ Characters, f!reader, somnophilia, degrading, breeding kink, needy & very horny seb

masterlist

Sebastian was insatiable. You didn’t know where he stored the energy even throughout such a cumbersome day. 

Both of you had spent the day doing chores and getting the house ready for Anne. She would be visiting soon and Merlin forbid she sees a speck of dust in the house. You had been deathly tired after and went to bed early.. or so you had planned. It hadn’t even been thirty minutes before you felt the bed dip and Sebastian sigh. You ignored his hands that trailed up your form and continued to rest.

“Y/N are you awake?” Sebastian’s breath fanned against your ear and you scrunched up. You knew what kind of mood he was in and could tell what was coming.

“No.” You responded and tried to keep in a laugh. 

“Oh what a shame.” Sebastian snorted and you felt his hand crawl under your gown. His fingers played against the flesh of your thighs and his lips nipped at your ear.

“Y/N..” He pleaded again and you sighed.

“If you want me that bad then take me. I’m worn out Sebastian.” You whispered and kicked your nightgown off. Something had awakened in your boyfriend from the comment as he gripped you harshly.

“You’re gonna let me fuck you while you sleep?” He rasped and you felt your core throb. So that’s what he was thinking of. You couldn’t deny that the thought of him using you to pleasure himself even while you were asleep was deeply arousing. 

“Yes. You can use me.” You whisper out and shut your eyes again as you relish in his touch. His hands automatically began tweaking at your chest with a rapid pace. His teeth bit circles into your neck which were sure to leave bruises by the morning. 

“Fuck.” Sebastian groaned as he rutted his erection against your ass. You could only let a small moan as you felt his hand travel down to your mound. His fingers worked fast circles around your nub, desperation clawing away at his mind. He was more akin to an animal than man, leaving not even a second to waste. His large digit pressed into your needy hole, your body shaking at the new pressure.

“Fuck that’s right. Look at you swallowing my finger. Greedy fucking girl even when you’re half asleep.” 

His pace was erratic and you felt him insert another finger. Your body contorted with pleasure as he hit the right spot. A low chuckle filled the silence as he continued.

“Gonna fucking cum on my fingers and then I’m gonna plug you with my cock. You’re gonna take it all like the whore you are.” 

His vulgar words only sent you higher, your hand gripping at the sheet below. Your core spasmed as you came, drenching your boyfriends hand in the process.

“Oh fuck. Look at the mess you’ve made. Can’t even help yourself huh?” Sebastian bit at your neck and you groaned a bit.

“Gonna fuck your poor little pussy now. Fill you up and let you wake up to a mess.” 

Sebastian’s cock rubbed through your folds, teasing you as he positioned himself. It didn’t take long at all for him to plunge into your sensitive hole. You clenched and moaned at the intrusion, adjusting to his size.

“Oh fuck. You always feel so fucking good! So tight for me. Built to take my cock.” 

He began to piston into you, his grip on your hips brutal. The room felt like a sauna and your body flopped with each thrust to your core. Lewd slapping noises and Sebastian’s grunts were the only thing you could hear as your mind fluttered in and out of consciousness. You could feel yourself getting closer and evidently Sebastian was too.

“I can feel you clenching me princess. Why don’t you cum on my cock so I can fill this pussy up like it deserves?” His hand trailed down to rub at your bundle of nerves and your body jolted. 

“Mmm…” you moaned out in a sleepy stupor and he just laughed.

“Yeah I bet you like it slut. Cum for me.” 

Your body did as it was told, hitting that euphoric high for the second time. It wasn’t even seconds later that you felt his pace go slack and his warmth fill you up. His hips jutted a few more times before he finally stopped, an arm pulling you flush against his chest. 

“Thanks darling. You’re the best.” He murmured as he kissed the nape of your neck. You ran your hand along his toned thigh that laid behind you and hummed.

“Night you beast.” You whispered and he snorted.

“Goodnight princess.”

[etoileee]

OMG A BATFAM SHIFTER IM LOSING IT RN. This might be a weird thing to ask and idk if it’s gonna make sense but can you tell us a bit about how your brothers are in your dr but like how they speak and stuff? like introverted or extroverted? how are they like in conversation? I know this is a bit of a loaded question sorry 😅

don’t worry you’re good! I’ll probably make posts about all of them individually going in depth but I hope I can answer your questions well enough to satisfy you! 😭

y’know, I call them assholes and dumbasses (as one does with their siblings) but I’ll admit to the fact that they are actually very proper gentlemen when it counts. bruce has them MANNERED. lots of “yes ma’am” and “yes sir” to anyone that’s older, service workers, basically everyone else they aren’t close to.

I think the way I’m going to go about this is give you some info about how they are, things they say, and in what context (hopefully all of this will make sense)

— RICHARD GRAYSON

out of all of them, he’s the most friendly and talkative, I’d say. I don’t know if you guys will know what I’m referencing but there’s this video of the weeknd talking backstage with fans and he’s like SUPER friendly and chatting up a storm and everyone in the comments is like “his friendly ahh” and “you can tell bro is canadian” THATS WHAT DICK REMINDED ME OF WHEN I FIRST SHIFTED LMAO people are usually pretty in shocked about how well spoken all of them are. that and with dick they are amused at the fact that he’s actually a sweetheart

his sense of humor is making people laugh but if you don’t he takes it personally and starts to tweak out a bit

things that dick has said that I think about often;

“…I know that hurts” *is watching me practice being en point”

*talking to a group of people and making them laugh*, *turns to look at me with a mischievous ass smile*, *mouths* “I’m good at this shit”

“why are you so fucking negative all the time? gimmie a lil toothy grin” *he says to a very grumpy and sleepy jason before being slapped*

— JASON TODD

him and tim are the most introverted ones in my dr. one thing about jason is he don’t give a damn LMFAO

not to say that he’s rude, he’s not (not unprovoked) but if we are in a social setting he doesn’t really talk unless spoken to, simply because he probably doesn’t care and is not interested in what is happening and would rather zone out or talk to somebody he does know and is close with. of course if someone he doesn’t know very well speaks to him he will be very respectful but he wont force himself to be overly talkative and go out of his way to be very friendly (again he’s not rude, just only has enough social battery to be a gentleman most of the time.)

blunt, dry ass humor that I appreciate very much. one of my favorite things about him is HE SWEARS SO GOOD IT MAKES ME GIGGLE

things that jason has said that I think about often;

“I didn’t give a fuck yesterday, I didn’t give a fuck today, and I’m probably not gonna give a fuck tomorrow”

*watches me, tim, and dick build the notre dame lego from the dark stairs in the foyer looking like a weirdo and menacing as hell* “…can I help?”

“don’t piss me off” - his favorite things to say

— TIM DRAKE

a true ambivert. as I mentioned he and jason are the most introverted but tim will talk to anyone that will listen tbh. he could go on and on about certain topics and honestly I really like to hear him speak because he is so well spoken and passionate about certain things. all of them are pretty well articulated but he is the most well articulated. he’s the more quiet sweetheart of the family that’s also a NERD. if you do speak to him, just know he will absolutely give his heart and soul into that conversation

he has very clever humor (he kind of reminds me of like an english man) that you honestly might not get if you don’t know anyone like him and if you don’t understand what he said he’s like “oh okay…” awkward as hell

things that tim has said that I think about often;

*us watching a korean movie together* “did you know that korean is one of the most isolated languages in the world?”

*Burce complimenting damian* “yeah he’s got a face for radio” - tim

“what the hell that have to do with the tea prices in china?”

— DAMIAN WAYNE

the most unserious, chaos causing mf EVER. he’s also one of the more extroverted people in the family up there with dick. dick is the more charming friendly one and damian is like… I don’t even know. of course he is still respectful but he’s the least formal out of everyone. he’s more worried about having a fun conversation and not one with forced formal wording. for example if someone calls him “mister wayne” he’s like “ew please call me damian”. I’ve also heard people say things like “you can tell he’s the youngest brother” and yeah tbh he’s fun and annoying. what else could you want?

his humor is quoting spongebob

things that damian has said that I think about often;

“THIS IS SO LUXXXX” *he yells as he tries on bruces rolex*

*awkward ass silence anywhere* “imagine all the peopleeeeee” (he kinda serves vocals during this tbh)

“MY DIET DOCTOR KELP?” *damian yells in disbelief in the car since he didn’t get his doctor pepper from the drive thru*

[pursuitseternal]

“The Seventh Day:” filled with self indulgent A!A behavior (Astarbation) in “Antics of the Newly Ascended”

Ascended Astarion x F!Reader | E | 1.9K of Astarion self-love

🎨 by @marimosalad full nsfw on X 🍆💦

Summary: Left behind, Astarion occupies his Ascended self first with some uncharacteristically (selfishly-motivated) selflessness, followed by some self-served reward in anticipation for your return home.

CW: Male masturbation (Astarbation?), panty sniffer/theif, he’s trying to be a helpful (selfishly), self-indulgent Astarion, Reflection Appreciation™️, he would be such a messy partner (in so many ways)

Previous Ch | ao3 link | Masterlist

The Seventh Day…

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

“Oh… darling, I’m hurt. I thought we had something special…”

“You always say that, and you’re always hurt…” you fold your arms and tilt your chin up at him.

“Am not,” Astarion fires back, petulant like a child, until he realizes everyone is watching your exchange. He straightens his spine and picks the pretend lint off the cuff of his sleeve. “You go right along… you’re the leader after all, and if you think you can finish your business without the Vampire Ascendant in your ranks, then go, have fun…”

You level that glare at him that lets him know you see right past his facade to the bullshit underneath.

“No, really,” he purrs, “you go, I’ll just stay here while… you do all the hard work.” He gives you that arrogant smirk and tilt of his head, that makes you war inside whether you want to slap him silly or fuck him senseless. He can see it… in your thoughts, in the way your heart pounds slow and harder as his eyes look down your armored figure. “I’ll just stay here, tend the home fires and find little ways to comfort myself over your absence, darling.”

He flashes his fanged smirk at you, your nostrils flaring wide with irritation and lust. “Don’t make a mess,” you taunt. “Enjoy your alone time.” With that you spin on your heel and your chosen three follow.

Wyll in particular laughs loudest. “Don’t worry, once he finds a mirror, he’ll be entertained for hours, I’m sure.”

The group chortles as they shut the door to their rooms in the Elfsong, but not before you throw one more look over your shoulder at your lover. He’s just smirking, irritated and conflated despite his wounded pride, making a show for you in that one moment of unbuckling his armor to drop it at his feet.

You shake your head and smile, all the irritation you have melted into love as you blow him a kiss. Then you shut that door.

The instant the door is shut, Astarion grimaces and throws the rest of his armor to the ground in a huff. Petulant? Yes, but also hurt. He looks around the empty suite of rooms, collecting his armor, he decides to actually put it away properly for once back in his rooms. Your rooms. Besides, he has no interest in watching Scratch nap by the fireplace, or risk any of the other ‘strays’ who have joined along the way come up and bother him.

With a discontented sigh, Astarion slinks his way into your rooms alone. That open chest for his armor is so close inside the door, but he sets it down on the floor. See how she likes that… he smirks, imagining your usual comments made under your breath about his messiness as you insist on tidying up. You’ll have to step over it when you come back exhausted and bloodied.

A slight pang of guilt tweaks his gut, his eyes settle on it again, that pile of his armor… the stack of messy clothes—yours and his— discarded hurriedly last night before your fucked… A slight disgruntled smile crosses his face. Maybe… just this once…. He could entertain himself in a different way.

He starts putting the armor in the trunk piece by piece, and with each one he starts to think about how much you will smile as you see your rooms.

Another piece in the trunk… he can almost feel your blush color your cheeks at his thoughtfulness. Your gratitude will be palpable… and you will want to shower him with affection… willingness… Astarion sighs to think about how you will positively reek of sweat and blood and arousal when you see what he’s done for you, his darling.

He closes the lid of the storage chest with an eager groan, that ache in his groin blooming slightly just at the thought of what will come once you’re home. You’ll positively worship at his feet for taking such good care of you…

That ache burgeons into a full erection at the image he’s conjured in his mind. With one final grunt, he picks up the pile of discarded clothing from last night, setting it properly in the basket, one rumpled thing of fabric at a time in the corner to be laundered later. One hand adjusts his erection, the other holds the last piece of fabric from the floor. Your undergarments.

He pauses, catching your scent in the air just as he wraps his hand around himself…

… he’s just trying to fix that hardness… he tells himself. But he can’t help but give that cock in his grasp a little rub.

He hisses, trying to catch his breath, but his nose only fills with your scent stronger the longer he holds your small clothes in his grip.

“Fuck it,” he growls to himself, unceremoniously sitting himself on the edge of the bed, surrounded by a tidy room. Surely, he deserves his own reward. And your own laziness last night to dispose of your underwear properly has just gifted him with a great incentive. That soft fabric, inundated with your musk, makes his mouth water. He just… has to…

He presses it to his nose, his cock freed from the top of his leathers as he slowly starts to caress it. It feels so good in his hand: the perfect length, the flawless width, the impressive hardness he always gets that makes every vein rise to the surface like marble. The masterpiece of a body that he is, he smirks to himself.

Another deep whiff of that delicious scent, he looks to the side, that large mirror so perfectly placed across from the bed, his idea. His eyes flit between watching his own cock pulse in his fist, staring at the perfection is his own reflection, and closing his eyes to take another deep lung-full of your scent.

Intoxicating, the beat of his own warm hand matches that pulse of his heart, a pounding so insistent in those veins. So steady and growing more pronounced even as he still works himself into bliss. Astarion gives a contented sigh, his thumb catching over that sweet, weeping slit to wet his cock head with early cum.

Indulgent, the way the faded ghost of your musk compliments his own as it grows with every leaking stroke he makes over his own shaft. No wonder you two are so destined for greatness, so perfect together… your bodies made for one another on some primal level, right down to your scents.

A few breaths catch in his throat, the corner of his eye now fixed on that mirror. He pauses to pull his shirt up higher, his leathers down lower, wanting to see more of himself, a body that has ruined so many… Small wonder, he laughs a bit darkly, a bit proudly. The edges of his abdominals protrude, just right, that deep v of his muscles drawing the eye inexorably to that now-glistening cock. Even his balls, so smooth and round and tight now as he feels the pleasure building deep in his core.

For once, now, this body is his to savor, to command and pleasure.

“Ahh…” the thought of reclaiming himself makes his cock leap almost out of his own hand. “Delicious,” he groans to no one but himself. Leaning back, he lets his hips buck into his hand a bit, just for a little extra show… a little more stimulation as his mouth starts to hang slack. He lets that fabric treasure of your underwear slip off his face, just a bit, so he can admire the way his own fangs glint in the sunlight.

Now, those weapons behind his lips, those fangs, those are something just for him, a decadence no one gets to enjoy but you… and himself now of course. With a groan, he longs to sink them into flesh, to feel that first burst of blood as it breaks through skin to coat his hungry tongue. And in his carelessness, he finds it, nipping his own lip to taste his own ascendant blood.

Rich… full… powerful… familiar… he groans. Incredible that you get to drink from him, what a treat for his consort and for himself. The thought of you suckling from his own neck, the play of your breath on his skin as you feed, shivers run down the base of his spine, making his muscles clench and his cock buck harder into his hand.

You’ll be so touched when you see what he’s done for you, his little act of humility to gain your immense gratitude… fuck… it’ll be worth it. The back breaking labor he’s done to please you and make you smile and see his love for you still, even with all he’s become.

Your eyes will sparkle, your lips will arch in that come-hither smile you give him… you won’t be able to resist letting him take you right then and there, however he wants…

His eyes flash to the mirror, the paint of blush on his cheeks and tips of his ears…. It makes his fist grip tighter, his hand beat faster to chase that pressure that needs release. The breath catches in his lungs, his teeth gritting as he feels his balls tighten and cock thicken as he strokes faster and faster…

Another glance at his beloved reflection— that slow seep of pearly cum leaking from his cock… perfection, seduction incarnate, he smirks to himself as he arches and his head cranes backwards. Grunting, sighing, he licks his lips as that pressure in his balls bursts at last, a few more erratic bucks into his fist, as he forces his eyes open to watch.

He juts his hips out forward, almost off the edge of the bed, angled just right to watch his cum explode out gloriously. The reflection, the pulsing he feels, the warmth that drips on his hand…

Head hanging down, tongue licking his lips, he watches as his cock twitches a few more times, that release overwhelming him as he huffs with open mouth. Drips of his cum spatter here and there on the floorboards, the few offending signs of…

The door swings open, you stand panting in its frame, a bit bloodied but none of it your own. Your sharp eyes take in the scene… your love panting, cock in hand, rosy post-coital cheeks flaring a hot pink as you catch him in his indulgence. And all you can do is smirk, knowing you have the upper hand on him, shaking your head as he starts to sputter excuses.

Then you notice what he holds in his other hand, your discarded undergarments from last night. Now your cheeks flame so hot, you’re pretty sure even your undead pale skin is blushing. “What…” but you swallow the question. Why ask it… you know full well what he was doing with your intimates. “I’ll skip the question and just point out that I left you alone for an hour… and you’ve made…” you smirk wickedly as you cross to kneel before him, “… such a mess.”

“Actually, darling, you’ve failed to see that I cleane—”

But before he can get whiny and defensive, you silence him, wrapping your mouth around his still, weeping cock. You moan around his length, not giving it lots of force, just a lazy bob of your head, a slow lick of your tongue. A few swirls of your lips laps all the extra cum from his velvety skin. Then you pull off of him, grinning with all your own self-righteous taunting. “That’s… how you clean, my lord.”

[v3nusxsky]

Can you write Morticia x Larissa x Reader where reader (0-3) (also a shapeshifter like Larissa and shifts when she regresses) is their wife/little and when reader regresses they take her to a pumpkin patch and come home and carve the pumpkin and just loads of fluff and cuteness, please?

Pumpkins day out

*authors note~ AND IM BACKKKKKK! hey y’all okay so this is small intro to being back activly posting now I feel my life is in somewhat order and let me tell you I’ve missed you guys sm. I’ve read every comment ask and dm of kind words and I’m so grateful for y’all being so patient with me! Let’s get it started, imma tweak this one ever so slightly but I just wanna say I love when you guys tell me what you want me to write next as it helps keep me focused and insuring you guys are getting content you want :)*

Trigger warnings~ Agere? Little fem shapeshifter r, mommy morticia, momma Larissa (everything that occurs has been spoken about when r is in her age appropriate head space)

Prompt~see ask^^^^^

(Banner to be added)

Distressed muffled whimpers carried themselves into the principals office alongside the pitter patter of tiny feet indicating your presence was imminent. The two occupants being your wives or rather care givers in this head space. It’s not uncommon for the two elder women to wake before you especially after your late night antics that resulted in you slipping off to sleep in sub space. It was almost routine for you to wake up in little space. Being a shifter allowed your body to lean into your headspace meaning they were almost always greeted by a darling little girl ranging from infant to toddler ages.

Like clockwork your little body came barrelling in through the mahogany doorway and straight into your mommy’s awaiting arms. Her long flowy onyx dress providing the perfect sensory input to help calm your little state. Her words dripping in smooth silk as she stood to full height swaying you gently in her arms as Larissa watched on with an adoring smile. Her two loves looking ever so naturally them always brought her a sense of peace she could never recreate no matter how much she tried.

The fall always created a beautiful almost picturesque landscape of the Nevermore grounds at this time of year. The chill of autumn air being a welcomed change from the blazing heat as Augusts final goodbye. Students of Nevermore spending their time acclimatising to dorm life, new schedules and a whole new academic year. Far too busy to notice what wholesome activities were occurring in the office.

“Momma” you sniffed effortlessly breaking the blonde out of her own thoughts. “Yes little pumpkin” she whispered before attacking your cheeks with sweet kisses. Your infectious giggles causing Tish to let a small smile grace her lips as she found the desired outfit for the day. “Mommy momma me go gets jack-o’-lantern from patch” your excitement practically vibrating from your small frame. “Oh is that so little love? It can’t be that time already can it?” She pretended to ponder, searching her very organised calendar for your initials scrawled in a beautiful heart shape.

“Mommy” you whimpered as Larissa still continued to not see what was so clearly labelled causing the raven haired woman to tut in response, “don’t tease my sweet girl Larissa darling” before easily scooping you up and giving the order to get ready for your yearly traditions. “Momma was teasing baby, we are going to find our pumpkins don’t you worry little pumpkin” Tish reassured before loudly whispering about visiting the weathervane without the blonde if she wanted to tease you.

Unsurprisingly, the whole drive you sleepily clung to morticia as Larissa drove you all to the best pumpkin patch around Jericho. Only when the car stopped did your excitement hit you once again full force. All the pretty colours and leaves being scattered all over the ground, all calling out for you to come and jump around in. “Mommy” you whined as you attempted to wriggle out of the seatbelt by yourself with no success. “Momma” you pouted causing Larissa to chuckle and help get you out of the car where you happily held both their hands. Little giggles filled the air as you crunched the leaves under your little boots, eyes gleaming with pure joy. Both women lost count of how many times you’d run, jump and kick the crunchy fall leaves. Each time a squeal of pure joy and excitement left your little body. It almost broke their hearts to have to refocus your adorable self on the task at hand.

Naturally you had managed to burn yourself out of energy after all the running, jumping, kicking and arguing about which pumpkin you all needed to get. The task of selecting the biggest pumpkin the patch had to offer had taken over two hours with more playful arguments and moments where you’d ran after a falling leaf insisting on catching it for Larissa and Mortica . Now you ended up snuggled into Morticia’s chest being carried to the car with tiny fists rubbing at your eyes as larissa hauled your chosen one to the car. By now the chilled air had Larissa wanting to frequent her favourite place besides Jericho. All the way to the weathervane you snoozed and the two women bantered back and forth about how wrong they were years ago. Larissa had never managed to lose the nickname of stately sequoia tree, morticia remaining the lumberjack and you their precious pumpkin. Hot chocolates secured the women had some how managed to succeed in moving you and the pumpkin into Larissa’s office before arranging the supplies you’d need when you awoke.

Your obsession recently had been black cats so it was easy for the women to find a cute yet Halloween appropriate stencil for you to use. Together they helped you carve and gut the pumpkin while laughing and loving on you. Your little heart filled with a type of joy that you never had as a child. The atmosphere and love was not something you’d had the pleasure to experience until them either. “Fanks best day ever momma mommy I wuvs you” you mumbled as all three of you admired the work of art.

[bred-49]

He comes home late

Pairing: Dmitry Bale x reader (no specific pronouns used I suppose)

Summary: A casual evening with your loved one

Tags: retired Dmitry, care, fluff, healthy relationships, living in Russia(???)

Word count: 871

Wanted to write some soft domestic shit with this wonderful man for way too long, if only it was me who waited for him. Anyway, hope you’d like this, feel free to leave comments, ask questions, give your opinion and etc.

You haven’t asked much about his work, content with knowing that he’s retired and teaches recruits now, but it still bothered you due to his constant overtimes. When you just started dating, it was rather hard to meet because of a man’s irregular work schedule, but Bale did his best to make sure you got enough attention by flowers delivered to your place as an apology for a failed date and his unexpected departure and simple messages a man like him could come up with to show his care when he’s away.

In addition, he was very pleasant on dates and although at first he was embarrassed by the age difference and did not think that you could be genuinely interested in him, he offered to move in together, when the owner of the apartment you rent decided to sell it.

And now after only six months knowing the man you are in Dima’s flat waiting for him as a perfect wife with cooked dinner and clean house. At around ten in the evening you hear a knock on the door and get from the sofa to open it. When Bale enters the house, he closes the door and, leaving his bag, kisses you lovingly.

“Hi, dear”. He says softly with a little tired smile, taking off his uniform jacket. You stand in the corridor watching him taking off his combat boots and going to wash his hands. Seeing you in the bathroom mirror he speaks up. “I’ll take a shower. Will you stay with me?”.

And you stay. Leaving the TV series running, you enter the bathroom taking a sit on the closed toilet bowl and starting to chatter about your day and news you heard, while the Russian listens mumbling something through the sound of water in return. When he opens the shower curtain you give him a towel and watch him drying himself off.

“Like what you see?” He teases you smirking. And you can’t help but smile and nod.

“I do”. It would be a huge mistake not to look at his strong body and his perfect blue eyes which looks at you admirably. You stand up hugging him, and without any hesitation Dima wraps his hand around you, putting his nose to your temple.

“Thank you”. He mumbles, and you ask him: “For what?”. The man runs his fingers through your hair looking at your face thoughtfully.

“Just… for everything”. Bale answer simply and you chuckle “okay, then I should tell you about your favorite baked duck in the oven”.

He looks at you exited “Really? Oh god I’m starving”. You kiss him still staying in his embrace while you two go to the main room, where you go back to the series and Dima puts on his old shirt and house shorts heading to the kitchen.

After having cooled down diner he returns to you. The man lays beside you on sofa-bed groaning and puts his arm above your one lightly caressing it. You turn to him: “what’s wrong, your spine?” Dima waves it off and wrinkles making expression which means typical masculine “I have a problem but I don’t want to speak about it or do anything”. You look at him strictly and he sighs.

“Yes, it hurts“ he admits. “Was showing some skill and tweaked my back”. You sigh and stand up to get an ointment from the fridge, as you come back Dima already lays on his stomach with his T-shirt pulled up knowing that you won’t leave it. You squeeze a little of cold ointment into the palm of your hand and start rubbing it on Dima's back, starting from the lower back to the middle vertebrae. The man groans a little from the massage, but sighs with relief feeling warmth spreading over the spine reducing the pain.

“Thanks, y/n..” he says with some guilt in his voice, probably again thinking that he’s not the best choice. You lean to kiss his forehead and put his T-shirt back.

“Now, cover yourself to warm up” you tell him walking away to put the ointment back in place. As you return Dima waits for you half sitting-laying under his weighted blanket with a book in his hands, he pats a place beside him, and you go to the bed, leaning to him.

You ask “would you read to me?”

Last week he started one of the books that were standing in his bookshelf covering with dust. Soviet fantasy sounded strangely for you, but after the man mentioned he liked it when he was younger you decided to give it a chance, and now instead of searching through countless reels or looking for a new pair of shoes you obviously wouldn’t buy, you two were reading the book. He rereads, you listen to his voice and a little bit of the story itself. He opens the book on the page you’ve stopped last time, and you get comfortable in bed putting your head on his shoulder giving a little kiss to the little bat tattoo you know he has here under the olive clothing.

“Глава седьмая…“ he starts, and you close your eyes concentrating on listening attentively.

Wow, did you actually read this?? Here, have a medal 🥇

Ps: I’m shocked by the fact Im uploading this ff, but I have another idea with Dima on my mind (it’s smut with m!reader 🙂‍↕️ want to give some attention to the guys)

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Hey, Is this accurate?

The dirty secret about Invictus is that it's a military charity started by the UK's ministry of defence, which is why UK's Allies send their wounded military to participate, as the MoD of each country work together. It remains under the governance of the UK's MoD, and that's why UK and other countries conjure up the millions required to put up the games.For inexplicable reasons, Harold's faux military record is used as the perfect PR front for it.I suspect it's one of Cabinet office's great ideas whereby they know regular govt/ department funding will be questioned by parliament and subject to all kinds of prohibitive laws, but using the money for charity allows them to roll out all sorts of programmes under the guise of Invictus....same MO as USAID.

Before he tied himself to Markle, Harold once said that he would head up Invictus for afew years because it was going to be wound up.

Somewhere before or during Megxit, a decision was made to make Invictus independent of the Royal family's PR efforts to present it as a foundation in it's own right. MoD reorganised it and cut off or enfolded other dependant charities eg Help for Heroes and Endeavour Fund.

Perhaps as a result of being cut off from all his other posts, plus ELF being on the board of Trustees, Harold saw the advantage of staying with the new Invictus after all.

A mutual benefit.

The day MoD decides to cut Harold off, it will be a unilaterally decision at MoD and having any mates on the board won't help him

We saw this in action with Help for Heroes whose board was filled with Harold cronies and yes men. Once MoD cut them off, nought Harold could do. And he is such a disloyal person that he didn't plead for them to be kept on by the MoD

This is the LSA post being discussed.

Honestly, without being able to see the source myself to dig into the user history to determine their legitimacy or accuracy, I can’t tell. I can verify that some of this info is correct:

Invictus Games is backed by the Ministry of Defense and British government leadership.

Harry is the face of it. Both his PR and the Royal Foundation were used to launch the organization.

The Royal Foundation pulled their support after William booted the Sussexes and Invictus Games was spun off into its own charitable foundation at that point, predominantly backed by the military and the MOD more than the BRF.

I’m not sure about anything else and like I said, without knowing the source, there isn’t much I can do.

From where I sit, the dirty secret isn’t that the MOD is propping Invictus up, though, because that’s very well known and it really is only due to the alliances that there’s as much international participation as there is - but that’s not unique to IG. That’s typical of all war games; it's allies getting together and training together. The only thing different about IG from all the other war games allied countries do is that it also includes veterans, not just active duty military service members.

To me, the dirty secret is that the UK - whether it’s the MOD or ELF or the BRF or Harry, it doesn’t really matter - stole the concept from the US. It's literally a copypasta of the DOD's Warrior Games. The only tweak is that they made it international with multiple countries participating because the UK's military is far too small (specifically compared to the US's) to have that kind of diverse friendly competition. And they papered over the copypasta by blasting us with Hero Harry PR.

I don't know enough about the Help for Heroes organization to be able to comment on that piece, either. What I do know is that Help for Heroes got hit hard by COVID, they struggled to bounce back, and the Royal British Legion got the tap instead. Did they struggle because the MOD pulled their support? Was it because they didn't have Harry as patron or sponsor anymore? Was it the lack of a royal affiliation? I don't know and again, not knowing this source or being able to do my own fact-checking into this, it's not something I'd trust as accurate.

Lastly, I'm very skeptical that "as a result of being cut off from all his other posts, plus ELF being on the board of Trustees, Harry saw the advantage of staying with the new Invictus after all." That would imply Harry has a) a brain and b) smarts. Which we know he has neither because of the mess he's currently in: most of his money lost on lawsuits, a wife who's cheapened his reputation, ostracized by the UK, and cast out by his family.

Harry stuck with Invictus through all this time because they let him walk all over them. They let Harry use them as a personal PR tool. And not just Harry - Meghan too, despite the public criticism.

Which is also a flaw, or a hole in the LSA anon's report - if Invictus is truly backed and operated by the MOD, and they're using Harry or Harry's PR as a front...then why aren't they controlling the Sussex shenanigans? Because the more the Sussexes act out, the more the Games become about Meghan, the more people that walk away from Invictus, the more criticism there is. And the less people there are, the less cover there behind the scenes, so the MOD's involvement - especially to the extent that the anon posits - is bound to come out.

But that said, we all know that Harry is absolutely failing as the IG patron. I suspect the MOD fills in where he can't, and that's why all the host countries have been very close allies - US, Canada, Germany, the Hague. And I suspect that's why Birmingham ended up getting the 2027 bid; IG had to fall back on their government/MOD connections and optics for that much government intervention usually goes down better when it's on home soil.

Either way, we'll find out. Invictus really doesn't have much longer - the Games always run way over budget, which doesn't bode well for international partnerships. Then factor in that Birmingham too is having their own financial problems and it's really looking like Birmingham 2027 is probably the end of Invictus Games, unless there's a huge injection of new attention, new donors, and fresh PR, and what better, easier way to get all that than from the patron's successful reconciliation with his father, The King?

I mean, it's either that or the MOD fully takes over and absorbs Invictus into their apparatus as DOD has Warrior Games.

I don't mean to be totally pessimistic about it, but...just something to think about. Why else would Charles or BP be talking about Birmingham 2027? It's two years away.

[strawberrywinter4]

Hello! Sorry to bother you! I just read your work Beyond the Bay! I just wanted to say. This is. The greatest AU I have ever read. Your writing is so beautiful and the relationship between Sherlock and John is so touching that it made me scream… The process of their slow relationship building is sweet but not bland, as if everything is natural and they are destined to belong to each other since the first sight.✨ Although this seems to be a year old work, I still wonder if this will become a series. Yes I still want to see more.🥺 Have a nice day! :D

Oh my goodness, hon, thank you so, SO much!! I appreciate this ask so much, thank you, thank you!! I always love to hear other people’s thoughts on my work.

I’m so glad you enjoyed the build up in their relationship. It was certainly different than my other works (considering it was an AU) but I’m glad I established it successfully!

I really do want to expand on the AU and Sherlock and John’s relationship in that fic! I actually just completed the outline of a possible part two for the story (it probably needs some tweaking lol), but this summer I am most likely free to write a lot more (hopefully!) I’ve been super busy lately but I adore writing fics and I especially want to write a part two on the Beyond the Bay series, so the plan is to do so! I can’t say when, but hopefully soon I will post the first chapter to the second part of the series.

Thank you so much for this kind comment!! I’m so glad you enjoyed Beyond the Bay. I loved writing it and I will certainly try to work on a second part. Thank you again! 💗💗💗💗

[diorsluv]

casual , part 10

“ you said, ‘baby, no attachment’ ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, markestapa, and 137,120 others

yourusername the boy is mine❗️

view all comments

vivianliu i see you decided to soft launch

→ yourusername vivi please

→ vivianliu look im just trying to look out for u

mackie.samo okay you need to stop with the song captions

→ yourusername make me 🤬

→ markestapa I CANT WAIT TO TRY HIM 🗣️🗣️

→ rutgermcgroarty mark you’re the epitome of an instigator

username93 i’m just waiting for him to get tagged in one of these posts

username17 ethan. it’s ethan.

username45 ermmm girl 🤓🤓 i caught u two in the park the other day stop hiding it from us

_quinnhughes ah hell nah

→ yourusername whatttt 😞

→ colecaufield he’s just being overprotective as shit don’t worry

→ lhughes_06 okay cole you were just as protective as we were??

username8 his shoe game 😮‍💨😮‍💨

jackhughes no one wants to see you smoochie smoochie in public

→ yourusername …“smoochie smoochie”????

→ jackhughes yes

→ yourusername jack i don’t think you’re in the right mental space right now

→ lhughes_06 he threw his phone across the room when he saw this post and it shattered 😃

→ yourusername jackhughes UM WHAT?

dylanduke25 ariana grande 😒😒

→ yourusername oh my god duker get over your ari beef and enjoy the song w me 😞

→ dylanduke25 NEVER

markestapa rosie he’s blushing i think you broke him

→ yourusername are you just the messenger now

→ markestapa yes

→ yourusername so will you tell him i found lipstick in his car and i know damn well it’s not mine because i don’t own any kylie lip products

→ markestapa uh.. no

→ edwards.73 he said you’re a liar because you know damn well he doesn’t look at any girl except you

→ yourusername ethan you’re not the messenger mark is 🙄

username20 i’m very extremely confused now is it ethan or not

→ username68 they’re trying to throw you off

→ username12 it’s ethan!!

_alexturcotte i like ur shoes

→ yourusername you bought them

→ _alexturcotte ik

edwards.73 you look like you like him a lot

→ yourusername i do ☺️

→ edwards.73 😳

rutgermcgroarty aww you posted us how cute

→ yourusername STOP

→ markestapa bro u got him tweaking tf out 😭😭

→ rutgermcgroarty that’s my job 😈

→ mackie.samo he’s never trusting any guy best friend ever again

→ yourusername rut ur gonna make him go insane

username75 NO this is so adorable

username81 AHHHH my heart you’re too cute

lhughes_06 👎

→ yourusername stfu

→ lhughes_06 ❌

→ yourusername ur the least fav child

colecaufield am i just late? when did you two get together

→ yourusername oh coley do i have a story to tell you

→ colecaufield so yes together or no together

→ yourusername yno….?

→ colecaufield ur soooo helpful 😑😑

→ yourusername IM JUST AS CONFUSED AS U ARE

username11 #rutsupremacy

→ yourusername oh god is this a new thing now

→ username72 #rutsupremacy

→ username39 #rutsupremacy

→ username80 #rutsupremacy

→ username2 #rutsupremacy

→ username45 #rutsupremacy

→ username94 #rutsupremacy

→ rutgermcgroarty #rutsupremacy

→ username61 #rutsupremacy

→ yourusername don’t try to sneak in here rutgermcgroarty

adamfantilli oh picnic date!

→ yourusername the word picnic doesn’t look right anymore

→ yourusername picnic

→ jackhughes picnic

→ dylanduke25 picnic

→ trevorzegras picnic

→ mackie.samo picnic

→ luca.fantilli picnic

→ markestapa picnic

→ adamfantilli it looks fine wdym

→ luca.fantilli she’s right

→ markestapa it does look weird

→ lhughes_06 what even is a picnic anymore

→ dylanduke25 Luke, a picnic is something you eat outdoors on the ground, as opposed to at a table

→ _quinnhughes what the hell is all of this

→ yourusername picnic!

username25 babe u needa post urself again we dont wanna see his crusty ass on our feed

username17 so he’s yours but he’s not yours bc you’re not actually dating bc HES A FUCKING PUSSY.

→ yourusername basically yeah!!

luca.fantilli he’s so exhausting u gotta just make the first move atp

→ yourusername im scared

→ luca.fantilli and??? ur the man in the relationship cuz brother hes being a little bitch

→ yourusername luca 😭😭😭

yourusername

liked by vivianliu, edwards.73, and 186,628 others

yourusername mall date with the bestie n the boyfie to try and get them to get along.. 🛍️

tagged: vivianliu

view all comments

rutgermcgroarty but me and vivi already get along wdym

→ yourusername okay mr mcgroarty ur gonna have to stop right there ✋

→ vivianliu have i forgotten to say i hate all men

→ rutgermcgroarty stop being such a hater 💔

→ yourusername BOTH OF U NEED TO STOP

vivianliu safe to say it actually worked… 😒

→ yourusername REALLY??

→ vivianliu dont make me regret admitting it 🙄🙄

→ yourusername THATS ALL I EVER WANTED

→ vivianliu I TOLERATE HIM THATS IT NO MORE

→ yourusername ☺️

username25 those r the new kicks ethan bought n posted on his story a few months ago

→ yourusername 🤫

edwards.73 “boyfie” ?

→ yourusername um… did i use the wrong term

→ edwards.73 no

→ yourusername oh

→ yourusername OH

→ yourusername oh ☺️

→ edwards.73 ur cute

username71 still a firm believer of #rutsupremacy

username50 #RUTSUPREMACY

username62 #rutsupremacy

username33 #rutsupremacy

username28 yall these comments r gonna be the death of her 😭😭 imagine how ethan feels seeing ts

liked by yourusername

→ edwards.73 real

→ username95 on behalf of everyone else we apologize 🙏🙏 edwards.73

trevorzegras boyfriend since when?????

→ yourusername ummm

→ trevorzegras mhm keep going 🤨🤨

→ yourusername that’s a good question

→ yourusername actually that’s a GREAT question

→ trevorzegras yea i like how u dont respond to my question

→ yourusername what question 🙊

→ trevorzegras i’m watching you two VERY closely

→ yourusername i thought u were a supportive king 😞👑

→ trevorzegras i didn’t think he would actually man up and do shit

username66 #rutsupremacy

lhughes_06 i like rut supremacy

→ yourusername i dont

→ lhughes_06 oh

→ rutgermcgroarty oh

→ edwards.73 oh

→ adamfantilli #rutsupremacy

→ yourusername adam not u too 😭😭

→ edwards.73 oh

→ markestapa he oh’d twice what did you guys do to him

username27 ok but i feel like yall r lit cute together n everyone else is jus a hater fr 🙌🙌

→ username19 YUP YUP say it louder for the people in the back

username36 goddamn do yall just want her to be miserable, like she’s literally happy w him why is it such a problem?? 😭

username82 #rutsupremacy

luca.fantilli going to the mall?? without ME??? 😏

→ yourusername get u and ur predator ass agenda the hell away from me

→ luca.fantilli need a ride? 😏😏

→ yourusername 🛑

→ lhughes_06 are you stuck in the high school mentality luca

→ luca.fantilli guess who??? 🫱🫲

→ _quinnhughes oh my god

→ dylanduke25 good lord

→ mackie.samo sometimes it’s best to STOP.

→ edwards.73 super… sophomore?

username15 h&m best store ‼️

username3 #rutsupremacy

username96 MALL DATE so funnn

username23 vivian’s literally the best best friend ever

username74 help why is everyone commenting rut supremacy am i missing something

colecaufield i hope he paid for all your stuff

→ yourusername he did 😒

→ yourusername i tried to pay for the stuff but that little bitch kept pulling his card out faster

→ colecaufield THATS A GOOD THING

→ _alexturcotte rosie u need a guy who spoils u

→ vivianliu she’s never had someone who willingly spoils her before

→ yourusername true!

→ colecaufield i spoil u all the time??

→ _alexturcotte i just bought u a new pair of shoes 😭

→ _quinnhughes I SPOIL YOU HELLO

→ jackhughes SO DO I???

→ trevorzegras fym i bought half of the furniture in ur room

→ lhughes_06 i paid for everything when we were younger

→ rutgermcgroarty okay out of everyone i think i spoil you the most so something aint adding up

→ yourusername erm…….. actually i spoil myself the most 🤓

→ vivianliu spoil doesnt even look like a real word now

username77 what were u buying at victorias secret???

→ yourusername 🫣

mackie.samo dammit u went to the fancy one AND DIDNT INVITE ME

→ yourusername it was bestie boyfie bonding time 😔

→ mackie.samo im a bestie!

→ yourusername …no sweetie ur not

next chapter notes ) HERES TO WINNING THE SERIES AGAINST VEGAS (and proceeding to blow a 3-0 lead and lose to the avs in ot) i know i know it’s late as hell but.. i was burnt out and preoccupied with studying for finals 😓 #rutsupremacy

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood @bunting58 @crazycat-ladys-blog @smoooore @bunbunbl0gs @lilasianmeat

[purpleprincessonfyre]

Liane Pissing Off Ji-Hoon and Vice Versa 🔥❄

A tale of two frenemies, featuring @calmbeforezero and cameos from @ask-missparker

WARNING: May contain ice puns, snow jokes and general frenemy fuckery. And mild threat.

Ji-Hoon: This stupid game! How do you keep winning?

Liane: Years of practice...no seriously years.

Ji-Hoon: Dammit!

Liane: Hey Ji...

Ji-Hoon: Don't you dare...

Liane: You could always just...Let it Go...

Ji-Hoon: *leaps up* That's it! I will turn that smiling face into an ice sculpture!

Liane: *runs away laughing*

🔥

❄

*Ji-Hoon showing off a potential new suit*

Liane: You look really stupid.

Ji-Hoon: *grumbles* I feel it.

Mia: He doesn't.

Liane: You look like an absolute tool.

Ji-Hoon: Mia will you tell her?

Mia: Stop it, Felton.

Liane: You look like one of The Incredibles..

Ji-Hoon: *sighs*

Liane: Frozone!

Ji-Hoon: Right if you make one more comment about me in these suits, or just about me in general- listen to me! I am taking those shiny Louboutain heels- you hear me, and I will shove them up your ass! Okay?

Liane: *goes silent*

Mia: Yeah it's just a case of tweaking it here, lengthening the sleeve here, we'll do that of course.

Ji-Hoon: Yeah. It's not bad, is it?

Liane: Yeah it isn't actually. *pause* Jack Frost.

Ji-Hoon: Right c'mere!

Liane: *squeals, running away*

❄

🔥

Mia: Dinner's ready. Liane go get Ji-Hoon from his room- oh wait no-

Liane: Too late! *runs to his door* Ji-Hoon? *knocks five times rhythmically* Do you wanna build a Snow- *gets hit in the face with a lot of snow*

Ji-Hoon: *smiles through the door* Now what did you actually come to say?

Liane: *her eyes glow purple through the snow, melting the snow to vapour with her fire* Dinner's ready...

Ji-Hoon: Excellent.

Mia: *from the kitchen* WHY IS THE SMOKE ALARM GOING OFF!?

Ji-Hoon: She started it.

Liane: Ooh you-

🔥

❄

Ji-Hoon: See, the problem is, Liane, you’re playing 3D chess. I’m playing 4D.

Liane: I’m playing checkers. I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing.

❄

🔥

Liane: We should normalize not loving family members.

Ji-Hoon: You can just say: “I hate my dumb fuck brother” or whatever. Talk like a normal person!

🔥

❄

Ji-Hoon: Are you alright?

Liane: Short answer or long answer?

Ji-Hoon: Short?

Liane: No.

Ji-Hoon: Long?

Liane: Nooooooo.

Ji-Hoon: You skipped therapy again, didn't you?

Liane: I- ugh!

❄

🔥

Ji-Hoon: I think you're still suffering the effects of the party last night.

Liane: All I drank was Redbull!

Ji-Hoon: How many?

Liane: Eighteen.

Ji-Hoon: I will freeze you if I have to.

🔥

❄

*Ji-Hoon and Liane are texting*

Ji-Hoon: Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone.

Liane: What did they change my name to?

Ji-Hoon: Chosen One.

Liane: Don’t change it back.

Ji-Hoon: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?!

Liane: I’m the chosen one.

❄

🔥

Ji-Hoon: What the hell is wrong with you?

Liane: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

Ji-Hoon: Pretty sure that's genetic...

🔥

❄

Liane: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!

Ji-Hoon: ...

Liane: Oh, right. The lying.

Ji-Hoon: And the incessant teasing, the inflated ego, the...pinkness.

Liane: Alright! Geez, just give me the cold shoulder already.

Ji-Hoon: *glares*

Liane: *beams* You love me really.

❄

🔥

Liane: *venting endlessly to Ji-Hoon about their week*

Ji-Hoon, every once in a while: *in a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.

Liane: Are you even listening?

Ji-Hoon, deadpan: Absolutely.

Liane: Okay good. So anyway-

Ji-Hoon: *puts in earphones*

🔥

❄

Liane: *playing Into The Unknown over JARVIS speakers, singing along*

Ji-Hoon: Could you be anymore annoying?

Liane: Yes.

Ji-Hoon: Ask a stupid question...

❄

🔥

Liane: Hey, can you do me a favor?

Ji-Hoon: Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this.

Liane: You don’t even have a legitimate reason?

Ji-Hoon: Oh, no, I do.

Liane: Well, what is it?

Ji-Hoon: You see, I simply don’t give a fuck.

Liane: Dammit!

🔥

❄

Ji-Hoon: I'm going to say this very slowly in the hopes you understand. Felton, you can't do this without supervision.

Liane: I am a responsible adult!

Ji-Hoon: *raises brow*

Liane: I am an adult.

Ji-Hoon: You are a problem.

Liane: I'm your problem. For the next forty-eight hours.

Ji-Hoon: Right.

❄

🔥

Liane: *softly singing Frosty The Snowman*

Ji-Hoon: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?

Liane: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

Ji-Hoon: No references to Elsa, Jack Frost, Frosty the Snowman, Frozone or The Snow Queen.

Liane: Well, dammit.

🔥

❄

Liane, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.

Ji-Hoon: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

Liane: Do you think you're cool when you act all brooding and snarky?

Ji-Hoon: Yes I do.

❄

🔥

Liane, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?

Ji-Hoon: …

Ji-Hoon: What’s in the box?

Liane: What woul-

Ji-Hoon: Liane, what’s in the box?

Liane: I think you know.

Ji-Hoon: Felton! You are not a childless cat lady!

Liane: I could be!

🔥

❄

Liane: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?

Ji-Hoon: Your life?

Liane: I- well yes, but- shut up!

🔥

❄

Ji-Hoon: Are you tall enough to play basketball though?

Liane: Are you calling me short?

Ji-Hoon: I'm calling you vertically challenged.

Liane: Bite me, Elsa.

Ji-Hoon: Oh you're going down.

❄

🔥

Liane: Good morning!

Ji-Hoon, checking their watch: Barely.

Liane: It's morning somewhere.

🔥

❄

(Liane and Ji-Hoon go undercover)

Ji-Hoon: This is Liane, she's… not my assistant, some other word.

Liane, smirking: I’m his carer.

Ji-Hoon: Yeah, my carer. She cares so I don’t have to.

❄

🔥

Ji-Hoon: Your problem is that you’ve got no common sense.

Liane: I’ve got plenty of common sense!

Liane: I just choose to ignore it.

Ji-Hoon: That's the most coherent and honest remark you've ever made.

Liane: Aww thanks! *hugs him*

Ji-Hoon: I hate you.

Liane: I know.

🔥

❄

Hope you enjoyed! And yes the long one is an adapted version of a scene from Britcom Gavin and Stacey.

Tags: @askstevella @ask-starrk @marvelsfavoriteuncle @ms-tiana-xoxo @rickb-chaos @luna-d-marsh @wizzzardofoz @ethan-lensherr @elzabeth-stark @afterhours-witheli @therealdaydreamstark @spotted-ac-richards @sadiesadieagentlady @trulysummersprivate @jackiequick @gcthvile @blueboirick @aidanxsophxoxo @meiramel @thechoooooosenone

[anthurak]

Concept: Remake of Super Robot Wars Alpha (Part 1)

Alright! Let’s talk about a hypothetical Super Robot Wars Alpha Remake. Specifically in the ‘anything goes, unlimited time and money, everything we wish it could be and more’ vein. Because that’s more fun and also oh-my-god I have already spent way too much time and brainpower coming up with these ideas XD

To establish a few ground rules I am setting for myself:

I am trying to keep basically ALL of the roster of mecha-series’ across the entire run. Or at least anyone who sits out a game or two is back for Alpha 3 which is going to have absolutely EVERYONE.

That said, there are a few series’ I’d like to trim from the roster in the ones that originally only popped up in one game and didn’t really do much. Namely; Galaxy Cyclone Bragier in Alpha Gaiden, Brain Powered in Alpha 2 and of course Cyber Troopers in Alpha 3.

The one exception to this might be Giant Robo in Alpha 1, because I’m honestly kind of torn on it. On the one hand, Giant Robo was a pretty cool presence in Alpha 1 (I mean we had Alberto the Shockwave fighting the Third Angel XD), but on the other hand I’m not sure how well the series and characters could be further developed/upgraded across subsequent games. If anyone wants to comment on this one way or the other in the replies, feel free :D

Also, to touch on general gameplay changes; obviously we would be implementing all of the general ‘quality of life’ and similar upgrades that have come with the franchise over the last twenty+ years. But one specific gameplay mechanic I very much would want to add is introducing the Squad-System from Alpha’s 2 and 3 to all the games in this hypothetical remake. Because yeah, personally I love the squad system and I’ve always been seriously bummed that we haven’t seen it again after the first Z game. Really, I’d want to even further expand on the system with some of the ideas Z1 was playing around with like different squad formations.

Anyway, that’s enough preamble. Let’s get to the action, starting with Alpha 1.

To begin, let’s talk about the one big new series addition for this game;

King of Braves GaoGaiGar.

Because yeah, I think we can all agree that GGG should have made its debut in the first Alpha game rather than Alpha 2. Really, GaoGaiGar’s appearance here isn’t even all that complicated; namely just essentially backport it’s appearance in Alpha 2 into Alpha 1, with the adapted story covering the Zonder arc and concluding with the battle against EI-01/Pasdar. The character roster can be unchanged, aside from Mic Sounders actually being included/playable this time. The same goes for the Secret Units/Characters like the Star Gaogaigar upgrade being a secret late/endgame unlock, and Pizza (aka; Soldato J) being a secret guest character for the final stage, though this time maybe he also comes with Pinchernone (aka; Tomoro-0117) as a sub-pilot.

Other than the inclusion of Gaogaigar, I feel like the overall story and plot of Alpha 1 can be relatively unchanged. Yes, even with the absolute timeline-bending mashup of the Universal Century that can have such iconic what-the-fuckery as Puru 2 piloting the Alpha Aizeru to attack the Gryps 2 colony laser during the Battle of A Bou Que.

That said, I do have PLENTY of ideas to tweak various series’, pilots and mechs that are available.

Let’s start with Mobile Suit Gundam, for which I have some interesting ideas.

Rather than just an oddly time-displaced seeming Slegger Law, the MSG pilot-roster here is made up of the old White Base crew, aged up to their time in Zeta Gundam. Meaning that just like with Amuro, we have Zeta-era Hayato, Kai and Sayla as pilots (Sayla in particular I have BIG plans for going forward XD). Heck, Bright even has Mirai, Oscar and Marker as sub-pilots for the White Base and later the Argama.

To go along with this, they all get ‘upgraded’ versions of their old OYW suits. Kai gets a Guncannon Heavy Custom, Hayato pilots a Guntank II and Sayla gets her Custom GM as a nod to the Gundam The Origin, though Sayla in particular later upgrades to the Re-GZ. Amuro can likewise still start with the G-3 Gundam before later upgrading to the Nu Gundam.

As for the more ‘main’ Zeta cast, things are pretty much unchanged as far as the pilot roster goes. Same for the ZZ cast.

However, when it comes to the mobile suit complement, things get a little more interesting.

First off the Zeta II secret unit is quite a bit easier to unlock, as it’s meant to be a direct upgrade for Fa.

The Full-Armor Hyaku Shiki is in fact NOT available this time, as I’d actually like to space out the evolution of that suit over the course of later games. Instead, only the Hyaku Shiki Kai is available as a standard upgrade.

To jump ahead a bit, notably the Sazabi is also NOT available this time in Alpha 1.

Instead, for a rather spicier option, Quattro’s secret upgrade unlock is the Delta Gundam. Which I think is way more fun XD With that in mind, the Hyaku Shiki ends up attached more to Beecha by the end of the game, lining more up with ZZ.

And you know, maybe have the Psycho Gundam as a secret unlock to be used by Four or Rosamia? That might be fun.

Going ahead to Char’s Counterattack, this is admittedly where I feel like I have to trim down a few things in the form of characters and mechs. Simply because I feel like it would be better to hold off on introducing them until the plot of CCA actually STARTS in Alpha 2. So Quess Paraya does not make appearance and Kayra Su only appears briefly as a Guest Pilot in Alpha 1 and the mechs are limited to the Re-GZ and Nu Gundam, plus the Nu’s HWS pack as a secret unlock.

Jumping ahead to Gundam Wing, I would make a notable omission of any early-appearances of Endless Waltz mechs (as we will have no shortage of them in later games lol), meaning no Wing Zero Custom and Milliardo’s secret unlock guest joining for the final stage is done in the Gundam Epyon rather than the Tallgeese III. Though we also have new additions in the form of Lady Une being a secret unlockable pilot, and both her and Noin getting the Vayeate and Mercurius as secret unlocks to pilot, in reference to the Endless Duel game.

Going into the various Super Robot series’, outside of the aforementioned early inclusion of GaoGaiGar, most things are pretty much unchanged, aside from Getter Robo’s roster being steamlined a bit with Texas Mack and Jack King being dropped in favor of Michiru piloting the Lady Command, and Benkei Kurama being relegated to a guest appearance in favor of Musashi getting to be the full-time Shin Getter 3 pilot in this game like he did in the first SRW Z2.

Also, I feel like the Mass-Production Daitank, Daifighter and Daitarn 3 should be proper unlocks rather than just potentially appearing for a single mission? Daitarn 3 is pretty much always a one-man/mech show in SRW and I feel like it would be fun to change that up a bit.

Which finally brings us to what is certainly going to be the BIGGEST overhaul of the first Alpha game;

The Original Generation characters.

First there is the matter of how to handle the Protagonist and their Partner/Love Interest.

And honestly, I’m just streamlining the shit out of this via backporting from the OG-Series.

Ergo; Kusuha Mizuha gets to be the Super Robot Protagonist with the Grungust Type-2 and Ryukooh, Ryoto Hikawa gets to be the Real Robot Protagonist with the Huckebeins, and everyone else is supporting characters with mildly tweaked versions of their OG-Series characterizations/backgrounds.

Like at the start of a playthrough, you get the choice to start with the Earth/Super-Robot route where you play as Kusuha (with Bullet), or the Space/Real-Robot route where you play as Ryoto (with Rio), which goes on for a few stages until the routes merge and the game proper begins in earnest. Maybe with additional ‘Super’ and ‘Real’ route splits further down the line where you chose either Kusuha or Ryoto as the character to follow for that time.

For specifics, Kusuha’s story plays out as a mix of the original Alpha Super-route, with characterization and plot beefed up via backporting developments from later games, namely the OG-series. Like maybe she isn’t already in the military in this version but also isn’t a highschool student either, say she’s just started university when she gets roped into piloting the Grungust at the start of the game. Plus we’re obviously removing a few of OG’s more egregious plot points like her getting mind-controlled by Ingram. Clearly we can just have Bullet get mind-controlled instead like he always does XD

Likewise, Ryoto’s and Rio’s stories are also a mix of the Real Robot-route of Alpha and their OG-series stories. Like Ryoto and maybe even Rio herself are pilots in the Divine Crusaders, but since the DC don’t actually turn evil in Alpha, the whole ‘sent out to die as an unknowing kamikaze’ bit doesn’t happen and they can join up with the fledgling Alpha Numbers much more easily. We probably don’t even need to have Rio get kidnapped/brainwashed like the Real-route love-interest normally does either.

As for the other four Alpha 1 Protags, again they’re basically getting tweaked versions of their OG-Series backgrounds. Tasuku Shinguji is a seemingly random mechanic who ends up jumping into combat in the Giganscudo when his ship is threatened. I’m thinking he’s on the Excellion? Feels kind of appropriate that the Giganscudo would be an offshoot/prototype of the Buster Machines, you know? Meanwhile, Leona Garstein is still a relative of the Branstein clan and is part of an offshoot squadron of the Divine Crusaders, possibly also attached to the Excellion? Basically I’m feeling like Tasuku and Leona end up being part of, or at least join during, the Real Robot route.

On the other hand, Yuuki Jaggar and Ricarla Borgnine are full-time Divine Crusaders pilots and are involved with any number of their Earth-based operations. Meaning that these two pretty easily end up becoming supporting characters in Kusuha’s Super-route.

Incidentally, three out of the four of these characters being part of or otherwise affiliated with the Divine Crusaders is actually rather convenient in this instance. What with the DC pointedly NOT becoming bad guys in the Alpha-timeline. Meaning that they can all join the heroes with much less fuss.

Though I will say, figuring out what Yuuki and Carla in particular are supposed to actually… do apart from being two of the main representatives of this version of the Divine Crusaders is rather headscratching. It certainly doesn’t help that the OG-Series clearly ran out of ideas for those two pretty early. Like at least Tasuku and Leona have the Octo Squad (more on that later XD).

I mean, with the Shadow Mirror obviously not being a thing in Alpha, I can’t even give those two their Razangriff and Randriz machines. Meaning that they’re kinda stuck with at best custom Guarlions. Which might work for just their Alpha 1 appearances, but it going to start feeling pretty conspicuous in future games.

Honestly, I’m kinda stumped on what to do with Yuuki and Carla for this little (Hah!) idea. If anyone has ideas, feel free to chime in :D

Moving on to something I have much more ideas for, let’s talk about the unofficial fifth main character(s) of Alpha 1 and really the Alpha series as a whole:

Ryusei Date and the SRX Team.

Because yeah, I feel like the SRX Team could have their own pseudo-route in Alpha 1? Like the initial choice at the start of the game is between Kusuha and Ryoto, but the second route-split ends up being a three-way choice of whether to follow Kusuha, Ryoto or Ryusei. All in all, considering how Ryusei really wound up being basically the Deuteragonist of the Alpha series, it does feel appropriate to give the SRX Team some proper focus here. Plus, I’ve got IDEAS for them :D

For example; unlike originally, the SRX Team doesn’t initially start with the R-machines. Instead, similar to in Original Generations, Ryusei starts with the Wildraubitier, Rai starts with a Shutzwald, Aya starts with a Gespenst and Ingram starts with the Wildschwein. With the team upgrading to the R-machines proper about midway through the game not long before Ingram does his whole ‘I’m a traitor suckers!’ thing and fucks off, with the ‘Powered’ parts becoming available later on. Just like in the original Alpha, the SRX itself is a pretty late/endgame unlock, so I figure we can space out the team’s upgrades across the game. Plus we have the Wildschwein so Viletta has something to pilot if/when you unlock Levi/Mai to pilot the R-GUN.

Moving on to the ‘supporting cast’ of the Original Generation pilots in Alpha 1, let’s talk about Irmgard Kazahara. He’s still kind of a rival and kind of a dick for a good chunk of the game similar to how he was originally in Alpha 1. Specifically he’s tied to Kusuha’s story as a sorta-rival, a decision I am making mostly because I think it’s funny to imagine Irm kidnapping Bullet and trying to turn him against Kusuha and creating a weirdly homoerotic/bisexual love-triangle. Also, just like in the OG-Series, Irm mainlines the Grungust Type-1 as his mech, rather than getting the Huckebein, as that makes him feel more like a rival to Kusuha, being a fellow Grungust pilot. Though I don’t really feel like giving him the Grungust Kai at this point? Like he’s got to have SOMETHING to upgrade into in later games.

Ring Mao is also actually a fair bit more prominent in this version of Alpha, essentially being a semi-antagonistic pseudo-rival for Ryoto and Rio to parallel Irm in Kusuha's route. Particularly given how one or both of them is either working for or otherwise affiliated with Mao Industries, given that they’re the ones who built the Huckebein MK-II that Ryoto and Rio will be transporting at the start of the game. Likewise, she ends up potentially joining with the Huckebein EX by the end of the game.

Finally, we have the Masou Kishin characters that appeared in Alpha 1 with Masaki Andoh, Lune Zoldark and Shu Shirakawa. Honestly there’s not too much I would want to change, outside of maybe doing some more playing around with and exploring just what an awkward and WEIRD position Masaki is put into thanks to Alpha’s whole ‘Bian Zoldark and the Divine Crusaders DON’T become bad guys’ twist.

Because remember, in Alpha 1 just like in the ‘Classic’, and ‘Original Generation’ series’, Masaki returns to the surface from La Gias chasing Shu who had just recently killed Masaki’s mentor and adopted father. Now in both the Classic and OG timelines, Shu being one of the founders and leaders of the Divine Crusaders, who by this point had started their big World-Domination plan, just created a nice convenient ‘shared enemy’ reason for Masaki to joins the other heroes. But then in Alpha, the Divine Crusaders DON’T become bad guys, along with Shu.

I mean, Masaki shows up back on Earth, chasing the man who killed his mentor and father-figure, only to find that man is one of the leading figures working and fighting to defend Earth and humanity from like four different alien invasions and counting. Like that’s GOT to be weird. I mean it’s not like Masaki is going to join the bad guys who want to conquer/destroy humanity just so he can kill Shu.

In fact, I think this could actually create a fun little dynamic between the three MK characters in Alpha: What if Lune ends up being the first person Masaki meets and join up with after returning to Earth? Similar to other versions of her character, Lune is greatly motivated by the loss of her father, Bian Zoldark. Except rather than wanting to avenge her father, here Lune is driven to SAVE her father as he’s been kidnapped by the Zanscare/Jupiter Empire. And I think it’s easy to imagine Masaki, having just recently lost his own father, feeling compelled to tag along to help his new friend, as well as learning what’s going on.

Aaaanndd that just makes things as the more awkward when Masaki and Lune end up joining up with the Alpha Numbers, and discovers that the guy who killed his father happens to not only be one of the major allies working to defend humanity, but is also a close associate of the FATHER of his new friend and partner Lune, and is even likewise working to save said father as well!

Just feels like there is some fun potential there XD

Also, this is a gameplay bit but both Masaki’s and Shu’s familiars would be treated as subpilots for them. I dunno it always just bugs me that they aren’t.

Also-also, I feel like there should be a secret Bad Ending for the final stage where you lose/screw-up the fight against Euzeth in just such a way that Shu ends up breaking out the Neo Granzon and proceeds to utterly WASTE Euzeth and the Arrogaters. Only to then of course turn right around and wipe out YOUR team as well.

I feel like that could be fun XD

Alright, now that we’ve covered the Original Generation characters who were originally in Alpha 1, we can talk about the ones that WEREN’T in Alpha 1, but whom I’m backporting from the OG-Series anyway. Either because it feels appropriate to include them or just because I think it would be fun XD

First off, Katina Tarask and Russel Bergman. Because yeah, if we’re giving Tasuku and Leona their OG-Series characterizations, it only feels appropriate that we should include the full Octo Squad. Not to mention them being present gives a good reason to include some decent Gespenst representation in this version of Alpha. In this version of events, Katina and Russel were assigned as test-pilots for the Gespenst program, or rather Katina was the test-pilot and Russel is there to be her proverbial punching bag, and when the development facility comes under attack from the Aerrogaters, Katina and Russel deploy in the production-model Type-S and Type-R Gespensts to defend it. This actually references an off-hand line in the original Alpha that the Gespenst development facility got destroyed by an Aerrogater attack, which is the in-universe reason why the Gespents aren’t really a thing in the Alpha series. So Katina and Russel being around in this version of Alpha leads to said facility being at least somewhat defended/salvaged and the Gespensts still seeing some, if limited, development/production in the following games. Though Katina and Russel are still the two main Gespenst pilots once they join the Alpha Numbers.

Next, let’s talk about what might be a controversial inclusion:

One Latooni Subota.

For one, I feel like Latooni actually makes a lot of sense to include. As while she’s not technically an Alpha character, she’s very closely tied to multiple characters and plotlines that originated in the Alpha series. She’s a former member of the ‘Boosted Children’ super-solider program and was/is close friends with Alpha 2 Protags Arado and Seolla, and she also has ties to the SRX Team via her use of the Wildraubtier and her, er… friendship with Ryusei. So again, while she may not have originated in the Alpha series, I think Latooni can still be considered ‘part’ of the Alpha cast and plotlines. I do feel like her parents Giado and Garnet can be relegated to minor guest appearances, considering how they didn’t end up doing much in the OG-series either before they both retired.

However! While this Alpha-version of Latooni is close with the SRX Team and even good friends with Ryusei, she does NOT develop a crush on him that leads to a bullshit love triangle with Mai. Instead, Latooni gets focused on what I think we can all agree is the FAR more preferable direction/character for her, in the form of our next backported OG-series character:

Princess Shine Hausen.

Honestly, did you really expect me to NOT go with the yuri option? XD

Shine’s story in Alpha is a largely broad strokes version of how it played out in OG1, with most of the Original Generation-specific players/factions swapped out for more relevant Alpha-related ones (I think it’s VERY fun to imagine her being a classmate of Relena Peacecraft XD), with her being saved by and put under the protection of the Alpha Numbers and bodyguarded by Latooni, who she pretty quickly starts crushing one XD

Notably, rather than Divine Crusader Remnants (who again, aren’t evil in Alpha), Shine ends up later being kidnapped by the Zanscare/Jovian Empire of Victory Gundam. This ends up being relevant because those guys also captured Bian Zoldark in Alpha 1, meaning that have a reason to have access to the Valsion, therefore leading to Shine being brainwashed and plugged into a custom Valsion and thrown into battle against the heroes, only to be saved by Latooni. And Shine is also of course a potential secret guest unlock to appear in the final stage, piloting the Valsion Custom.

And you know, since we’re doing this remake with the benefit of hindsight, why don’t we just throw in one stage where the Alpha Numbers answer a distress signal to defend the still-under-construction Earth Cradle facility from an Arrogater attack? A stage which just so happens to include a guest pilot appearance from a mysterious silver-haired swordsman piloting a Grungust wielding a positively… Colossal Blade who deploys to absolutely SLAUGHTER the attackers. I think that could be fun XD

(Though to clarify, Sanger would be piloting the Grungust Type Zero rather than the Type-3. As that just makes a bit more sense, wouldn’t you say?)

And while we’re at it, why not have a different stage or two where you get guest appearances by a certain mysterious sunglasses-wearing pilot in a custom Red-and-Black Guarlion with a rather… overriding theme song? XD

Alright, now that we’ve covered the requisite Alpha Gaiden foreshadowing/fanservice, let’s talk about the last of the new playable Original Generation characters in this version of Alpha. Specifically, a character I think we can all agree we frankly SHOULD have gotten to see at some point in the Alpha series:

A playable Bian Zoldark in the Valsion.

I mean seriously, WHY did we not get this in the Alpha series originally? The Alpha games set up an alternate timeline where basically the original Fallen Hero Big Bad of both the first ‘Classic Timeline’ and the later retooled Original Generation series DIDN’T become a bad guy and remained one of the heroic forces for good in the setting… but we NEVER get him as a playable pilot or even SEE him in-mission?

Yeah, that’s bullshit and I would absolutely rectify that in this remake.

In this version of Alpha 1, Bian can absolutely show up during the final battle as a guest pilot in the Valsion. He also has Boss Stats and is one of, if not the most OP unit at your disposal.

Finally, going into any specific gameplay overhauls to Alpha 1, I would definitely want to make the secret unlocks a LOT less ‘mutually exclusive’. Like sure, it can be interesting to have to choose between two important unlocks, say; since there is probably only one Valsion at this point, maybe you have to choose between getting Princess Shine in the Valsion Custom or Bian Zoldark in the original Valsion as part of your guest reinforcements in the final stage.

But like, maybe don’t lock something like half the secrets in the game behind mutually exclusive route splits, you know?

By contrast, something that I think would be really fun to keep in some form in contrast to more recent SRW entries is how Alpha and other games of that time let you play around a bit with the ‘component units’ of the various combiner super robots, while still letting you deploy those robots in their combined forms so pre-mission unit selection wouldn’t be a nightmare. I just think it’s really cool when SRW does stuff like let you sortie Getter Robo or Dancougar and select the option that has them split into their component machines and fight a bit with those. Or letting any Gundams with Core-Block systems eject their core fighter if they’re destroyed. Heck, sense we’re including GaoGaiGar in this version of Alpha, why not have Cyborg Gai fighting on foot be playable? I’d kinda want to make him fight Alberto the Shockwave… XD

And sure, using the Squad System does make that mechanic a bit more complicated, especially with the four-mech squads we saw in Alpha 2 and 3. Obviously trying to rearrange squads of four in the field is going to be a LOT more complicated than the ‘Twin Battle’ system the OG-series used, but I think there are ways around it.

Say, maybe squads can’t be modified on the field, but can be on a battleship/carrier? Like any units that are currently loaded into the same ship can be rearranged into different squads before being redeployed? Which incidentally, would also be useful for consolidating squads that have lost units.

Also, speaking of the Squad System; I would DEFINITELY want to add the Maximum Break mechanic. Just sort of a mashup of how it worked in both Z3 and OG 2nd XD

So, that covers everything I wanted to discuss for Alpha 1. And we are currently at almost nine pages…

Well, I guess I’ll see you on the next post where I’ll be discussing remake ideas for Alpha Gaiden.

Yep, this is going to be a BIG one… XD

(Feel free to make any comments or add your own ideas. Or just question what the hell am I thinking putting multiple days of work (and counting) into this weird little project :D)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Long Snake Moan 4

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Loki

Summary: your boss gives you a task you’re not prepared for.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

“Yes, please, he should be waiting,” you confirm and hang up the phone.  

You’re still in a daze. You barely remember getting to your desk or dialing the call. You’re functioning on habit alone as your mind reels. 

“Ahem,” the throat clear makes you wince and you look up at Loki as he looms on the other side of your monitor. 

You sit up straight and fix the screen, adjusting it so you can see. He tuts and grabs it again, stopping you from sinking into your work. That’s how you deal with things. You just ignore them. 

“What?” You look at him. 

“What?” He echoes.  

“Why are you still here? You have the...” you can’t even say it. You’re married. Somehow.  

“I’ve every right to stay close to my wife.” 

“Ooh, don’t say that,” you shake your head. 

“Pardon?” His brows tweak. 

“Don’t say it out loud. That word. Wife--” You suck in air and hold it in your chest. You shudder as you let it out slowly. 

“You should be flattered. I am a god. You are... minuscule, even for a Midgardian,” he slithers. 

“So why did you do that?” Your voice peaks. 

He snickers. “Well, let’s not get off to such a rough start. There are things still to tend to. As I have it, your marital traditions require a band?” 

He leans in to look over the monitor as your fingers flutter nervously by your keyboard. You follow his gaze and find a large green emerald mounted on a golden band. Where the heck did that come from? You raise your hand and try to wrench it off. It’s stuck! 

“It cannot be undone as easily that,” he taunts. “So, in my research, you are not so dissimilar to Asgardians in the way of marriage, however, I don’t think you’d be fond of a blood sacrifice so I’ll spare you that.” He laughs as you blanch at him. You’re annoyed at how amused he is. “Though the matter of consummation...” 

“Alright, no,” you stand and wave your hands. “No, no. I’m working. I’m busy.” Your voice is brittle and salty in your throat. You sweep around the desk and shoo him, “you need to go, alright? I have work to do and this is insane. So please, leave.” 

He catches you by the wrists as he faces you. You gulp at the iron in his grip. You tug but he doesn’t even flinch. You stare at his pale fingers. He feels like ice. 

“Loki, sir, later when I’m done we can discuss--” 

“I preferred when you called me a prince. Yes. Proper titles. ‘My Prince,’" he sneers. 

You sniff and squirm against his grasp, “my prince, please, will you go? I can’t handle this right now.” 

His lip curls as his green eyes blaze down at you. Is he angry? Entertained? Annoyed? 

“You needn’t be so scandalized. I am perfectly attractive. I am an exceptional choice in mate. By any standard in this universe, I am coveted. Don’t pretend that heart isn’t skipping a beat at my very touch,” he drawls. 

“Yes, it’s a condition. I’ve had it checked. They said it’s nothing to worry about,” you babble dumbly. You know he doesn’t mean that but you really can’t deal with his true implication. 

“We have to seal this union or I have no case for my residence--” 

“Got it. I get it. I understand,” you ramble. “But right now is not the time for that--” 

“There’s an office right there--” 

“Not now,” you repeat. “Loki,” you rip your hands free as his hold on you slackens. “I need to finish my work here and to be honest, I could use a little time to process this.” You turn away and stride back around the desk to face him from the other side. “I should have everything wrapped up at six and then we can figure things out.” 

You sit but your chair is higher than you expect. You blink and he’s gone. No, he’s below you. You writhe in his lap as he wraps an arm around your middle. You push on his elbow and squeal. 

“What are you doing?” You whine and kick your legs. 

“Well, darling, you sat in my lap. It’s rather forward of you,” he laughs. 

“Stop, stop!” You shove his arm helplessly. “I’m begging you to just--” 

“Oh, I knew you would beg--” 

“Enough!” You yell and stomp his foot. You get free and throw yourself off of him. You hit the desk and spin in the small space between you. You puff out as your adrenaline pumps behind your ears.  

You put your hands out, speechless. You can’t think. It’s all a scramble. You clap your palms together and twine your fingers. Then you cup your hands and cover your mouth. 

“Darling, you are dramatic,” he muses. 

You finally untangle your fingers and throw up your arms. You shake your head and turn to storm off. You don’t look back. You are going to hide in the bathroom until the world doesn’t feel so shaky.