#yes I’m doing the ‘any interaction feeds my ship’ thing but I don’t care

[canyounotexistelias]

(posting here cause I don’t have an ao3 account ☹️)

(prepare for rambling. I’m really sorry)

SCREAMING CRYING GNASHING MY TEETH FROTHING AT MY MOUTH I JUST FINISHED YOUR “LETS DO THE TIME WRAP (AGAIN)” AND I—

IM IN AWE !!

YOUR WRITING IS SO SCRUMPTIOUS, SO DESCRIPTIVE, I BINGED ALMOST ALL OF IT IN ONE NIGHT AND ONLY HAD TO STOP BECAUSE IT WAS PAST MIDNIGHT. 

i CANT stress this enough you write the main cast of Gravity Falls so well!! I loveeee how you made the Mystery Twins more mature and conniving (the scamming and “manipulation��) , while still retaining their original core values and character traits. They’re always so interesting to read about and I think you captured their voices impeccably. 

Stanley, oh Stanley. You poor poor self-deprecating conman. The struggle of Stan seeing his own worth and thinking of himself as more than just the “bad/disposable twin” while fighting his own guilt and issuesssss. You’ve cooked a feast with his dilemmas and struggles, and my oh my are we eating well tonight. His dialogue is always so fresh and in-character, literally jealous of your writing rn. 

FIDDLEFORD MCGUCKET THE MAN YOU ARE. NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE OUT THERE UTILIZE THIS CHARACTER ARGH. HIS INTERACTIONS, HIS THOUGHTS, THE PINING IS EVERYTHING TO MEEE!! Like YES feed me in-denial gay scientists who left their wife and kids to work with their “friend”. YES give me fiddleford who’s been crushing on ford ever since their college days. Fiddauthor is a ship I hold near and dear to my heart, and you’ve done them an AMAZING service. Fidds could look Ford straight in the eye while saying “I want to be with you and grow old with you and live with you forever” and Ford’s oblivions ahh would still somehow think “ah yes fiddleford is such a great science partner. golly gee I sure hope there isn’t anything he’s trying to imply with his words here”.

And finally, my most favourite thing about the fic (apart from things previously mentioned) 

STANDFORD. FILBRICK. PINES. 

AJEJCNA DISJS CNSJSKXJEJKEJDBX ANSIDJ

there’s so. SO much I can say about him and his personality and the way you’ve written him, but I think this one quote summarizes him best. 

“I’m as egotistical as they come, as vain as a human can be, and so insecure it could cripple empires. But I care about Stan, and I care about my family. I won’t let my own failings doom them.”

LIKE. COULD IT BE MORE PERFECT?!!?!??! 

Like YES he’s a jerk. YES he’s vain and naïve and arrogant and thinks himself to be above everyone around him. YES he hurts the people close to him and YES he’s stubborn and rarely apologizes for his mistakes (before Mabel knocked some sense into him). 

He’s insecure, he laps up any shreds of positive affirmations and attention he’s given like a dying man despite having an ego the size of a mountain. 

But he cares. 

He cares so, so deeply. 

He cares about his brother, he cares about Fiddleford, he cares about the two kids that appeared in his life three days ago. He loves his family so so much but he feels sooo guilty about his past mistakes that he thinks to bury his feelings and focus on his work. He would chose them over all the power in the world because in the end, that’s what he did. Ford wants to fix his errors, but while nothing could ever make things go back to the way they used to, it’s sure as hell that he’s trying his hardest. 

Because Ford has made grave mistakes. He’s shunned his brother and ignored him for the better part of a decade, while obsessing over a deity that made him neglect himself and those around him. He’s failed over and over and over but he’s still trying to be better. 

Because Ford, Stan, Fiddleford, everyone in the story makes mistakes. Everyone in the story’s human (except bill but yk what I mean).  Because at the end of the day, no matter what happened in the past and who said what to someone, the Pines family will always have each other. Mistakes, regrets, hopes, and everything in between.  

And I just think that’s neat. 

(ARGH IM SO SORRY I ENDED UP RAMBLING I JUST FINISHED YOUR STORY AS I SAID AND MY MIND PHYSICALLY WOULD NOT LET ME SLEEP UNTIL I THANKED YOU FOR CREATING SUCH A WONDERFUL WORK.)

Oh my god thank you so so so so so so much??? This is so nice to read holy fuck. And YES U UNDERSTAND THE BEAUTY OF STANFORD PINES. HES SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER. And I am a Fiddleford hadron McGucket fan first and foremost so u had to include him here.

Again, thank you so much!!!!! This was so nice to read aaaaaa!!!

[ask-serendipity-sky]

*different anon*

we all see what we want to see, we all shippers are the same

not really

in most groups of people there are the more deranged ones (toxic, delusional), but that’s NOT the whole group, usually it’s the minority.

with tkkrs, it’s their majority (damn near their entire group…)

we may make fun of tkkrs, but we shouldn't blame them for celebrating their ship moments. because if that was jkk, we'd be celebrating too.

yes, people are happy when people they like interact, that’s normal

i like when bts interact with eo bc i’m an army, i like when my bts bias line interact bc they’re my biases, and at times i’m happy when jkk interact bc i support them as a potential romantic couple

but jkk is not the pairing/duo i look forward to

and when they interact it’s not that big of a deal to me (unless they’re doing something crazy… gfct, hickey, shirtless live or photo)

i just happen to think they’re romantically involved/dating, but it’s not bc they’re my favorite duo (not that there is an issue if jkk are your favorite, as long as you like them as a duo bc of their bond and not just bc you think their dating!)

a problem a lot of tkkrs have is they either bias tk or tk is their favorite duo, so that is why they "feel" like they should ship them, even if they don't see anything romantic between tk

the amount of 'non jkk' biased (ex: ym biased or rap line biased jkkrs) jkkrs i've seen get questioned on why they don't ship their biases...

and no if the moments are based off mistranslations or stalker content, i don’t “celebrate” that, also bc i don't see it as "winning"

all shippers tend to give excuses to the other ship moments and try to reduce their ship value, but secretly we all wish it was our ship who did it, like tkkrs with jk's thirst birthday wish, they kept making it a friendly thing between bros, yet they were waiting and hoping for jk to do something similar for tae.

tkkrs are insecure losers, ofc they want other moments that others have (mostly jkk) bc they can see tk are not like that

i don’t care about other duos, and honestly if tkkrs left jm and jk alone, i wouldn’t have to even interact with them as much

bc most of the time, it's me protecting jm and jk AS PEOPLE, NOT BC OF SHIPPING BS

and pointing out non significant things isn't just something we do to tkkrs or vice versa, we do it to ourselves (jkkrs to jkkrs). bc we're aware of bts' culture, language, and jkk's history/bond

everyday, a different ship win and other lose, sometimes it's a good day for jkkrs, other days for vminers. and the members know that, that's why they keep feeding those moments.

the members having normal interactions is not the problem, it’s fans not being able to differentiate between a cute friendship and actual romantic relationships

using skinship or basic normal friendly interactions as a basis for romance, explains the whole they're all fcking/dating eo/poly jokes or only excepting queer members if it's bts as a whole group together or certain 'fan approved' ships (tk...)

but it's not something you should really be doing

and sometimes, even if another ship didn't get a moment, it's our ship that don't behave as we anticipated.

jkk don’t behave like we want bc they are potentially actually dating

it’s why so many fans find it hard to self insert and feel like they're third wheeling, and feel uncomfortable/don’t want to see that

what i'm trying to say, is that we are all the same. we all get hurt by other ships or we wish for more moments for our ship, and it's normal because we have no certainty we're right.

you only get hurt if you are basing a potential romantic relationship off of others and their interactions, and not just the two people you think might be involved romantically

i did not care that th didn’t post for jk’s birthday, and the only reason i would care is bc jk is my bias and i like when his ANY of members interact with him and are nice to him (especially for his birthday)

my basis of jkk being real is bc of jm and jk, not any one else

maybe it's different for you because you have evidence, but for the rest of us, we're just sailing not knowing where the ship will land and it can get sad and frustrated sometimes.

if an idea of a relationship being real or not is enough to affect your emotions negatively, then you need to detach anon, before you project those feelings on to jm and/or jk

you need to learn to love jm and jk as individuals and their bond as it is, not just the idea of them being romantic

Hi anon,

I agree with your answers.

For tkkrs, the absence of proof is proof that Jk and Tae are together. There are no maybes for tkkrs. And then they wrap everything up with hate.

We really should learn to not expect particular behavior from the members or jikook. They are real people who sometimes decide to share stuff with us. When they do, we appreciate it and when they don't, we appreciate that as well and move on.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[molliehaswords]

Tal is feeding my Ashton/Chetney/Fearne OT3 agenda tonight and I’m so happy.

[cambion-companion]

Not to join in on the anon-wars, but Ao3 has always operated very much on the “Dead Dove Do Not Eat” principle.

And there are things on that platform that are downright hellish, but it’s free, and if the tags are making you uncomfortable do not read; if the story upsets you, stop reading it; if you want to read stories more loyal to canon and you see a lack of such fanfics, write your own.

In any fandom and on any platform you’re bound to find people you disagree with both in interpretation of characters and the ethics of writing incest, non-con, violence, age gaps, and so on.

Half of the people writing Aemond as a horrible person probably don’t even care if the masochist they end up portraying him as fits canon. They’re just in to things like that.

And the writers and readers who enjoy seeing aemond turn black for Rhaenyra’s daughter/“y/n” might be team black, or they might be a sucker for a good old Romeo and Juliet trope, or they might like the idea of a person going “f*ck it all, they’re mine, and I’ll do anything for them.”

Bottom line is navigating in any fandom with the idea, that the content should align with your morals and your perception of characters, will only leave you endlessly disappointed.

I’m not personally fond of the lucemond-ship for obvious reasons, but the people that do ship it, obviously won’t care. Yes, I’m allowed to be disgusted and I could spend my time screaming in to the void, but I could also go about my day, not interact with it and let the algorithms do their jobs, so my feed remains free of it.

It’s free to read and to engage with, and I’m also free to ignore it’s existence.

🌼

Agreed! This is the point I was trying to convey with my last answer hehe 😅 thanks for putting it so elegantly! The same goes for real life as well. I've had friends cut me off because my "world view" doesn't align exactly with their own. That's no way to live life...sounds stressful tbh.

[neocityjs]

Clingy - LJN

Pairing: boyfriend!jeno x reader

Genre: a lil angst, fluff

Warnings: established relationship, Haechan is a bit annoying in this one I’m sorry (Haechan best boy)

Words: 3k

Summary: hurt after hearing your boyfriend and his friends calling you clingy, you decide to show them how not clingy you can be.

A/N: everything is fictional, including the characters’ traits. English is not my first language, therefore I’m sorry for the errors.

Movie nights with your friends were your favorites.

Well, it’d be more correct for me to say “with your boyfriend’s friends”, since you didn’t know them before meeting Jeno. But that doesn’t matter, because in no time you managed to bond with everyone, especially the clumsy yet adorable kid, Jisung, and the loving caffeine addicted boy, Jaemin.

Movie nights with your friends consisted in you eight – even though today you were only seven since Mark was out with some of his friends – sprawled on one couch –  don’t ask me how, but all of you always manage to fit in since no one wants to sit on the carpet – with a blanket covering you and some snacks passing between. Those represented some of those moments you swear you would cherish for all your life.

Tonight seemed to be no different. Jeno had come picking you up at 7 p.m., you spent some time together, walking around, talking and giggling like usual, and you dropped at his house where other five – well, four boys (Jaemin lost to rock paper scissors so he had to go shopping for snacks) – were waiting for the both of you. Donghyuck always got to choose the movie you would watch, not without complaints from every one of you, yet at the end you’d always like what he picks, but Donghyuck doesn’t need to know that.

And there you were, all sprawled on the couch – though not in a very comfortable position –. You had already seen the movie which was playing loudly on the TV, hence you decided to pay more attention to your boyfriend instead. You were all cuddled up with him: he was hugging you, stroking your back from time to time. Your head was on his shoulder while your hand rested on his chest. Sometimes you couldn’t help but leave a furtive and quick kiss on his jaw, praying no one would notice you. He’d smile at you – gosh his eye smile UWU – and then he’d hug you closer.

About one hour after the movie’s beginning, you felt some physical needs pressing, so you quickly excused yourself and got up from the couch.

“Should I pause it?” Renjun asked, the remote already between his hands.

“No, don’t worry. I’ve already seen it anyway”

You made your way to the bathroom only to find out that the toilet paper was missing.

You sighed. Boys.

So you went back to the living room, where everyone was gathered.

You were about to open your mouth to ask where they kept the spare paper but something odd caught your ear. You backed up, hiding behind the wall. You obviously knew that eavesdropping was not by any means honest, especially if it was a conversation between your best friends. But you were almost certain that they were talking about you, your name dropping from one of the boys’ mouth.

“Enjoy being free while you can” Donghyuck joked with Jeno. You furrowed your brows.

What was that supposed to mean? You peeked your head cautiously, not wanting to be seen.

“You’re just jealous you don’t have a girlfriend” Jisung laughed at him, to which the boy responded with a sharp stare.

“Seriously, Jisung? When you haven’t even had your first kiss?”

“Ya ya ya! Shut up and don’t fight you two” Jaemin intervened, throwing a popcorn at them.

A brief moment of silence followed. You still didn’t understand what they were talking about.

“She’s just affectionate, that’s all” Jeno finally spoke, at which you held your breath.

So they were talking about you being clingy with your boyfriend. And this response from Jeno meant that he didn’t mind it, right? Or else he would have agreed with the boy. The thing is, you never thought about it: you supposed that a little kiss every now and then was a way to show your love and affection to him, plus he never complained about it, or never backed away.

“I know, but don’t tell me you don’t find this suffocating sometimes” Donghyuck continued.

Okay, now he was seriously getting on your nerves. What the heck did he care if you were clingy with your boyfriend? This was something between you and Jeno, and he wasn’t allowed to interfere with it, especially in front of everyone in the room. You thought he was making fun of you by now.

At this point you expected something to come out of Jeno’s mouth, anything that could have proven Donghyuck wrong, but he said nothing.

And silence means consent.

How did you know this? Well, Jeno wasn’t one to back out from speaking his opinion, especially with his friends. Especially with Donghyuck, for God’s sake, this guy was constantly bickering – though not with malicious intentions – with everyone.

“We shouldn’t talk behind her back like this” affirmed Jaemin with a severe stare. Jeno looked down: you didn’t know it but he was feeling suddenly guilty, agreeing with Jaemin. Everyone then went silent, the only sounds that could be heard being the dialogues in the movie.

You pressed your back against the wall, processing what you just heard.

Why didn’t he ever tell you? Why did he act like he loved it while, actually, he hated it? Then you thought about every time you held his hand in public, or hugged him, or kissed him, and then your thoughts went to five minutes before, when you were hugging him on the couch. You started feeling sorry.

Maybe after all it’s true, and he didn’t tell me anything because he didn’t want to hurt me.

But well, now it hurt twice as much since you weren’t aware of what your friends and your own boyfriend thought about you. Maybe every one of them, except for Jeno obviously, thanked God they hadn’t a girlfriend like you, who was suffocating and clingy.

And it was at this moment that your guilt turned into anger.

You just wanted to show all your affection and care to your boyfriend who you loved with all your heart, but apparently you were only bothering him. And Donghyuck - oh Donghyuck – you were so angry at him right now. What was the point in making fun of you in front of everyone when you weren’t even there? At the same time, you took a mental note to thank Jisung and Jaemin, the only two people who stood to defend you.

Okay, tonight you were proving everyone how not clingy you could be. Indeed, you were going to interact the least possible with Jeno. He wanted space? Good, you were giving him tons of it.

You eventually went to the toilet using one of your tissues since you were not asking any of them where the hell was the toilet paper, you washed your hands and went back to the couch.

But this time you didn’t hug Jeno. You simply forced a smile and sat next to him with your arms crossed. You tried not to be too obvious, you still didn’t want them to know that you heard everything, but you were sure your face was saying otherwise, and the confirmation arrived when Jeno asked you “Is everything ok?” full of concern.

You just called me clingy and let Donghyuck make fun of me. Yes, everything’s amazing.

“Yes, of course. Why?” you replied, using all of your acting skills in the process which, by the way, were very poor. But apparently they worked, because Jeno smiled at you and shook his head. “Nothing”.

But if you were successful at lying to him right now, then by the end of the movie he understood that something was wrong. You were avoiding all of his attempts of skin ship because “it was too hot”, but then you were grasping at the blanket like there’s no tomorrow. You were also laughing at everything remotely funny that came out of Jaemin’s mouth while you simply ignored all of Jeno’s attempts of making you laugh. Hell, you didn’t even argue with Donghyuck when he murmured something about Jeno being the most unfunny guy he ever met. Oh and you were playing and laughing with Jisung who was sitting next to you.

In short, you were avoiding him.

But he decided to shrug these thoughts away. Maybe he was being paranoid, he thought: you were just enjoying your friends’ company, plus it wasn’t written anywhere that you were allowed to talk and give attentions only to him.

Little did he know, this was just what you were trying to do: shower everyone with attentions except him.

Eventually the movie came to an end, and while everyone was pronouncing their goodnights and heading to sleep, you just remained there, with your phone between your hands, scrolling mindlessly on your Instagram feed.

Usually you and Jeno would have gone to bed together, sharing your thoughts about the movie you just watched, or simply talking about everything and nothing at the same time. But not today. He wanted space? You were giving him space.

Jeno already stood up to make his departure, but soon noticed you weren’t following him like you always did. “Are you coming?” he asked you, stopping on his tracks.

“I’ll just reply to a few messages and then I’ll go to sleep too. Don’t wait for me, you can go”

“Y/N are you sure everything’s okay? You’ve been acting quite weird. Are you alright? Did something happen?”

“Of course not, Jeno. Nothing happened” you replied rather coldly. Then you sighed. “I’m good, don’t worry for me” you added, softly this time. Although you believed he deserved it, you didn’t want to be too rude to him.

He nodded, and without saying anything more, he left.

At this point you started feeling a tiny bit guilty, still you couldn’t simply pretend nothing happened: their words hurt you and even if you really wished to just forget everything, you couldn’t. You just couldn’t, it was stronger than you.

By the way, you had no intention of sleeping with Jeno tonight, so you grabbed the blanket all of you once shared when watching the movie, and struggled a little bit to find a comfortable position. Eventually, after some tears escaped from your eyes, you drifted into a restless sleep.

It took a couple of hours for Jeno to realize you were not in bed with him.

He just fell asleep, a part of him believing that later you would have joined him. But when he woke up, he immediately sensed that something was off. Still sleepy, he touched the other side of the bed only to find it empty, and immediately stood up. It was 3 A.M, why weren’t you sleeping? What the heck were you doing? Did someone kidnap you? At this point he was surprised of how paranoid he could be.

His thoughts came to an end when he saw you, on the couch, with a blanket shielding you from the cold, all curled up. He didn’t see the dried tears that stained your face, though.

Sitting slowly beside you, not wanting to scare you, he gently shook you, not sure himself if it was the right thing to do. He was just so confused, he genuinely didn’t have any idea of what was happening. But he knew one thing for sure: you had been acting cold with him and he wouldn’t had moved until you confessed what was going on. Was it something he said or did? Was today your anniversary or something and he forgot it? Poor boy absolutely couldn’t find peace unless he knew what he did.

Soon you opened your eyes, still heavy from the – lack of – sleep.

“Hey” he murmured softly.

You considered pretending to sleep but nah, as I said earlier, you weren’t a good actress.

“Hey” you replied, stretching your limbs a little bit.

“I got worried since you weren’t sleeping next to me” he chuckled awkwardly. Sure thing, he didn’t know how to handle this situation since this was the first time you were acting like this.

“I… umm… I just fell asleep here” you replied looking at your hands, which you were scratching due to the nervousness.

Another lie.

Then silence.

“Y/N look at me” his voice suddenly changed, turning colder.

You swallowed, a knot forming again in your throat, as you forced back the tears that were trying to escape. You didn’t want to give in so soon.

But how could you, when he was getting angry at you? You should have been angry, not the opposite. And you know what? He was right, you were taking it too far. He didn’t deserve this. Look at how nice he tried to be all night, you managed to anger a calm and patient man like him. How stupid could you be at this point?

With a quivering lip you turned your head, facing him. He was watching you intently, with a serious frown on his face. Your grip on the blanket got tighter, almost ripping it with your nails.

You stayed silent. Then he spoke.

“Why are you being like this?”

You swallowed. What should you say? Were you even allowed to say anything at this point?

You tried to open your mouth to say something, but as soon as you tried your eyes were filled with tears, rapidly falling on your skin. You just couldn’t take it anymore, so you just faced away and buried your face in the pillow, trying to muffle your sobs. You didn’t want to look so pathetic in his eyes, although by now you thought you were being beyond pathetic.

If earlier there was any anger in Jeno, now every hint of it dissipated at the sight of you crying, curled up on the couch. He suddenly felt guilt taking over him. But the amount of confusion and frustration was bigger, so, as much as it pained him to see you cry because of him, this didn’t prevent him from trying to find out what had gotten into you. He was honestly so tired, he just wanted to sleep with you on his side.

He gently, almost scared, touched your trembling frame, and when he noticed there was no sign of rebellion from you, he lied down and hugged you tightly from behind.

And you kept on crying silently, a loud sob escaping occasionally, as he murmured sweet nothings into your ears, shushing you gently and telling you that everything’s fine, I’m here with you. Just let it out.

When you finally finished crying, he placed a soft kiss on your neck, then another on your wet cheek.

“Wanna talk about it?”

There was no point in lying by now. So you faced him, face full of concern and arms still tightly secured around you. And you just let out everything, from how you overheard their conversation – including how sorry you were for doing it and promising it would never happen again -, to how you were hurt by Donghyuck’s words but mostly by Jeno’s lack of words.

On the other hand, poor Jeno didn’t have any idea this could have affected you so much, and because of this he didn’t even think this could have been the cause of your sudden behavior. He just listened everything silently, surprised, just like a kid to whom the newest things are explained.

“I just got so angry at you for not defending me, and for letting Hyuck make fun of me. So I wanted to distance myself from you as much as possible to have my revenge” you openly confessed, hiding your face in his chest.

“I’m really sorry I took this so far. I should have talked instead” you add.

“Well, that’s true” Jeno replied, “but I can’t say I’m in the right either. First thing, we shouldn’t have talked about you like that, plus I’m really sorry I didn’t say anything to Hyuck, I understand this hurt you a lot”

“But do you really think I’m that clingy? Because if so, all you have to do is say the word and I’ll try to respect you space more” you asked, looking up at him with watery eyes.

And if your ears were sharp enough, you could have heard the sound of Jeno’s heart shattering.

Now he was the one who was on the verge of tears.

“Y/N please don’t ever say such a thing. You don’t have to change anything about yourself. I love you because you are you, including your touchy and loving nature. Besides, don’t look at me this way or I’m seriously gonna cry” he added whining, causing a smile – a real one – to appear on your face.

“Now it’s a lot better” he affirmed, tracing your curled up lips with his thumb.

“Can I kiss you or you’re still mad at me?” he asked.

“I don’t know, I was thinking about making you suffer a little more” you joked.

“Oh my God, you’re unbelievable”

“I think so too”

He raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I should kiss that annoying attitude of yours away”

“I don’t know, should you?”

“I’ll take that as a yes”

And with that he kissed you, the fight of moments ago long forgotten. A slow and gentle kiss, a mixture of emotions being shown: remorse, love, affection. It was a way for the both of you to say “it’s all in the past now”.

After you parted, one thought snapped in his mind.

“Wait, how will you manage the matter with Donghyuck? I can talk to him if you want” he pointed out, concerned. He perfectly understood if you were angry at the boy in question, but he also wished all of you to be as bonded as a big family, his family.

“There’s no need, I’ll just confront him by myself, beat him up until he asks for forgiveness and then forgive and hug him”

Jeno looked at you, almost scared. “What…?”

“Just kidding” you said, laughing at his funny face. Still hugging, you made yourselves comfortable enough to sleep.

“Or maybe not”

[mandos-sluts]

The Botched Mission

The Mandolorian x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: 3.3k

Warnings: Smut, rough sex, dubious consent, degradation, daddy kink, mutual masterbation, dirty talk, voyeurism

Summary: You work for the Empire and are tasked with spying on Mando. You don’t do a great job at concealing your efforts.

A/N: Please message us or comment if you want to be on our tag list!!

You were born and raised in the Empire. Your mother was an admiral in the Imperial Security Bureau under Moff Gideon and your father died in battle during the Great Purge. The more you grew up, the more you questioned the Empire’s actions and ideology, but it didn’t really matter. There was no getting out for you— your entire livelihood was supported by the Empire.

Your commanding officer has given you a mission on Tatooine. You are to go undercover as a mechanic and surveill the Mandalorian Din Djarin. It was known that he knew of the force-sensitive child’s location and had dealings with other Jedi, thus, he was of great interest to the Empire.

***********************

The Mandalorian’s ship is scheduled to undergo maintenance for two days on Tatooine. You stand in the hangar and watch as the beat up Razor Crest lands. The ship’s hatch opens and there standing tall is the Mandalorian, covered from head to toe in shiny silver beskar. He walks confidently down the ramp and towards you.

You open your mouth to introduce yourself when he tosses a bag of credits to you. “I need the repairs completed by tomorrow afternoon.” He says in a deep voice, towering over you and gazing into your eyes.

Shit. You’re….you’re really attracted to him. The way he carries himself is so hot— his assertive demeanor, his voice. “Yeah, absolutely, no– no problem sir.” You stutter out. “Um, I’m y/n.”

Mando nods his head and then walks right past you, leaving you standing there with your panties damp.

He exits the hangar and all he can think about is you. Fuck, since when were mechanics so beautiful?

You shake your head and try to focus. Heading into the ship, you begin installing hidden cameras all over. An actual mechanic employed by the Empire meanwhile gets to work making repairs.

You consider waiting around for Mando to return for the evening, just so you can interact with him more, but once it gets dark, you head to the inn that you’re staying at. Mando arrives back to his ship a little after you return to your room.

Your boss made it clear that she wants you to watch him whenever he’s not sleeping. Which honestly is stupid, it’s not like he’s going to talk to himself and reveal important information? You lie back in your bed with the screen on your lap and watch the live feed of the cameras in the ship, already bored out of your mind. The camera’s are super high quality; the picture and audio are both crystal clear. A few minutes later, you see the hatch open and watch Mando enter the ship.

Mando notices the cameras almost instantly. To be fair, you always half-assed your missions; you really don’t care about advancing the Empire’s agenda or doing your job well. Mando lets out a long annoyed sigh. He knew you didn’t look like a mechanic!

His first thought is to take down all of the cameras, apprehend you, and turn you over to the New Republic. There are only a few lodges in town and it wouldn’t be hard for him to track you down. On the other hand...he figures he could have some fun with this.

Pretending he isn’t aware of the cameras, Mando puts his weapons away in his arsonal just like he does every night.

Shit, you think to yourself. His collection of weapons is massive, he could kill you with such little effort if he wanted to.

Mando heads up to the cockpit and slumps down in the pilot’s chair. He stretches his legs out and takes a deep breath. Bringing his hand down to his crotch, he starts rubbing himself over his pants.

Your eyes widen and you sit up in your bed. Is– is he doing what it looks like he’s doing? You feel arousal shoot to your pussy as you watch a tent form in Mando’s pants.

Mando knows you’re watching him, and he saw how nervous he made you earlier today, so he knows that you’re too curious and horny to turn it off. He unbuttons his pants and releases his long, thick cock. He takes his length in his hand and spreads his precum around up and down his shaft, letting out a moan.

Your panties are soaked at this point and your pussy is begging to be touched. You bring your hand down and start rubbing your clit over your shorts, your eyes are glued to the screen.

Mando starts pumping his cock up and down, faster and faster. You’ve never been so turned on in your entire life. You trail your hand into your pants and start circling your wet clit. You know this is super creepy of you, but you can’t bring yourself to care.

Mando’s breathing picks up as he fucks his hand even harder.

“Ah fuck.” He spits out.

Ugh his voice is so sexy–

“Fuck, y/n. Yeah, that’s a good girl.”

Your heart drops and your hand freezes. He just said your name...He’s jerking off thinking about you. Did you even tell him your name?

“That’s right, y/n, ride my cock, pretty girl.” He breathes out.

You’re shocked and your cunt starts throbbing. Mando has the biggest cock you have ever seen, like...holy shit. You can’t handle how horny you are right now. The fact that you can’t hop on his lap and start bouncing on his dick makes you want to cry. You start whimpering as you glide your fingers along your slick and watch Mando growl your name.

Mando grips the arm of his chair as he feels his orgasm approaching. He’s so hard knowing that you’re watching him.

“Ahhhhhh fuuuckkkkk, yyy/nnn” Mando moans as you watch his cum spew out of him.

Feeling your own orgasm coming on, you quickly turn off the monitor, close your eyes, and start pumping your finger in and out of your hole. It takes you less than twenty seconds to cum, thinking about Mando saying your name while jerking off.

You don’t bother to turn the monitor back on for the rest of the night. You go to sleep replaying those images of Mando in your head over and over again.

************************

The next morning, Mando leaves his ship for the day at dawn and you head over to the hangar a few hours later. The mechanic is finishing up the final repairs when you arrive.

In case Mando asks you about the repairs, the mechanic gives you an overview of everything she did. You listen intently....for about a minute, but then end up inadvertently tuning her out, thinking about what you witnessed last night.

“Got it?” She says, jolting you back to reality.

“Y-yes totally.” You lie.

The mechanic leaves and you grab a seat at a table in the hangar, waiting patiently for Mando to return.

A few hours later, Mando struts into the hangar. He strolls right past you up to the Crest. “The ship done?” He asks shortly, not even looking back at you.

“Yes, everything is in order sir, have a good flight.” You say nervously, turning around to exit.

“Wait.” He says, stopping you in your tracks. “I have a few questions before I depart.” Mando says as he opens the hatch.

“Um, s-sure.” You say, following him into the ship.

Mando starts up the Crest and does a lap around the first level, examining all the areas where work was presumably done. The ship is in great shape, but he knows that you didn’t do any of it.

“Are the front deflectors operating at full capacity?” Mando asks in his deep, modulated voice.

“Uh, y-yeah.” You respond. You’re standing against the wall trying your best to keep cool and act like you know what he’s talking about.

“Did you fix the leak in the carbonite system?” He asks.

“Y-yes.”

“How did you get the ion acceleration chamber running again?” He questions without looking up, continuing to walk around and inspect the ship.

“Uh, um–”

Mando turns his gaze to you. “Did you rewire the calcinator or instal a new thruster nozzle?

“Um I did it by rewiring the– the thunder novel...”

Mando begins walking toward you. “How is the repulsor grille functioning?”

“I– I um...I just, I– the ship–”

Mando is now standing directly in front of you, staring into your desperate intimidated eyes. “What’s the matter, little girl, don’t know the answer?” He says moving even closer to you.

“N-no I know–”

“Can you tell me about the work you did on the engines?” He interrupts. “Or why don’t you tell me about these cameras you installed first.” He says, reaching over you and yanking one of the cameras out of the wall above you.

Your heart drops. “I-I didn’t put those there.” You stutter out.

“Drop the act, y/n. I know you’re not a mechanic. I know you work for the Empire.”

Fuck, you are so busted–

“And I know you watched me last night. Sweetheart, it’s written all over your face.” He says lightly, grabbing your chin and pulling your head up so that you’re looking directly into his visor.

Your heart is beating out of your chest and you can feel your face is bright red. You’re trembling with fear but you are also so turned on. Your pussy is throbbing as your breath heavily and stare into Mando’s visor with doe eyes.

“I—”

“Tell me, pretty girl.” He interrupts you again. “Did you like watching me jerk off?” He asks in a deep tone as he runs his other hand down your body to your waist.

“Y-yes.” You whisper with humiliation.

Mando brings his hand between your legs and dances his fingers on your crotch. “Did you touch yourself while you watched me?”

You nod your head slowly.

“What a fuckin naughty girl.” He says pushing you hard against the wall. He pushes your shorts to the side and slides his fingers into your panties. You let out a high-pitched exhale, still maintaining eye contact with him

“Damn. So wet already.” He says in a low rough voice. “You’re a desperate little thing, aren’t you? Those Storm Trooper boys can’t fuck you good, can they?” He says mockingly. “Maybe I should turn you over to the New Republic.” He utters as his other hand lightly grabs your throat. “Or, maybe I should come up with my own form of punishment for you.” Mando says as he thrusts his middle finger up inside of you.

You let out a gasp and your mouth falls open as he starts pumping your hole. “I’ve never fucked a slut from the Empire before.” He says, tightening his grip on your throat. You’re so wet you can hear his finger moving in and out of you.

“What do you think, you little criminal?” He says in a sultry tone.

“Ahhh!” You moan out. “I– I think you should– ahh– punish me, Mando.” You whine, batting your eyes at him as he drives his finger in and out of your cunt.

Mando grinds his bulge against your stomach. “Yeah? Then you’d better be an obedient little whore for me.”

Mando pulls his fingers out of you. He abruptly shoves down your shorts and rips off your top. “What are you–”

“Shut up.” He snaps as he turns you around and shoves you back against the wall. “Hands against the wall.” You do as you’re told.

You hear your shirt rip again and all of the sudden your vision goes black as you feel Mando tying fabric around your eyes. You’re naked except for a thong and blind fold, with your cheek and palms flat against the metal wall. One by one, you hear pieces of Mando’s armor hitting the floor. *see gif* Then you feel his bulge grind against your ass and one hand wrapping around your throat while the other grabs your tit.

His lips come to your ear. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk for a fuckin week.” He breathes in your ear. “Your pretty little cunt is gonna be overflowing with my cum when I’m done with you.” He growls, roughly kneading your tit.

“Yes daddy” You moan in response.

Mando loves that you called him daddy. He grabs your hair and pulls it back and down, tilting your head back and making your back arch while your hands stay flat on the metal wall. With his hold still on your hair, you feel his warm lips plant onto yours, his facial hair rubbing against your skin. His lips move down your cheek to your neck, and he sucks on your smooth skin while pulling your hair back. Pulling away, he can already see the bruise of the hickey forming on your neck.

Mando pulls away from you and steps back, taking a moment to admire how vulnerable you look, blindfolded and panting against his wall. Then you feel his hand smack your ass check, and you let out a yelp. He does it twice more against the other cheek and you can’t help but cry out.

“Shut up, slut. I told you I was gonna punish you.” He says as he pulls your g-string up, making its fabric drag and pull against your clit. He spanks you again. Arousal shoots to your cunt, and it is dripping wet.

Mando spins you around again and slams your back against the wall. He once more grabs your hair and pulls your head back, exposing your neck so perfectly for him. Mando grabs your ass and pulls you up against him. “Open your mouth.” He commands in a stern voice, still pulling your hair down.

Your lips part wide and Mando bites your bottom lip before spitting in your mouth. “Swallow.” He orders. You close your mouth and swallow his sweet saliva down your throat.

Mando picks you up and you instinctively wrap your legs around him. He sets you down on a metal table and rips your thong off of you. Your legs are wide open, your pussy splayed out on the table for Mando to admire as he pulls his shirt over his head. He runs two fingers up and down slick and then shoves them in your mouth. “You gonna be a good girl and show me how needy this little cunt is?” He whispers in your ear while you suck his fingers.

He removes his fingers from your mouth. “Yes.” You breathe out.

“Yes, what?” Mando says slapping your outer thigh.

“I– I’m gonna be a good girl for you, daddy. And sh–show you how– how needy I am for your cock.” You stammer out.

Mando hums in response as he lines his tip up with your entrance. One of your hands is wrapped around his neck and the palm of your other hand is flat against his warm hard chest.

You feel his warm precum against your tender skin as he pushes the head of his dick into you. Your mouth falls open and you gasp. He does a few thrusts with half his length and it’s already more than you can handle.

“Fuck!” You spit out in a high pitched voice.

“Shit–” Mando snaps. “How are you so fuckin tight?” He says, seeming genuinely frustrated.

You’re being so stretched out you can’t form a response. You just sit there, wrapped around Mando, breathing heavily with your mouth agape, trying your best to adjust to his size.

“You’re squeezing the shit out of my cock. Ah you feel so fuckin good.” Mando groans in your ear as he pushes more of his member inside of you. He then abruptly snaps his hips and thrusts all the way inside of you.

You scream out “Fuck!” And dig your nails into his back.

Mando starts pumping in you slowly. “You’re doing so good, baby girl, taking my big cock in your tight pussy so well.”

He brings more of his length out and picks up the pace.“Ahhhhh Mando! Fuck!” You cry.

“What’d you call me?” He says, snapping his hips into you hard.

“Daddy!” You squeal. “Daddy! I–I’m sorry! Daddy fuck your cock is– is so big!” You wine between thrusts. He puts his lips on your mouth.

“I know, pretty girl” He whispers in your mouth. “You’re doing good.”

He starts thrusting faster and you lose control of the moans that escape your lips. You’re holding onto him for dear life as he pounds into you, his hands clutching your hips. Mando pushes you down so that you’re lying on the table and swings one of your legs up on his shoulder, providing him an even better angle, allowing him to drive his cock right into your G-spot.

“Ahhh daddy, yes! Fuck! Right there, please!” You scream.

Mando holds your leg against his chest with one arm and brings his other hand to grip your throat.

“Do– do the Imps know they have a filthy– ahh– filthy fuckin cockslut working for them?” He mocks. “What would they say if they knew you agreed to be your target’s dirty little fucktoy? Huh?”

All you can do in response is scream and moan. Mando removes his hand from your throat and drags it down your stomach. He starts circling your clit and you begin to see stars. Your whole body starts shaking and your cunt clenches down on Mando’s cock. “Fuck, I– I’m gonna cum!” You exclaim. Your pussy starts pulsing like never before as you feel your orgasm overtake you.

“Yes, ahhh fuck! This pussy was– was made for my cock, shit.” Mando says as he rides you through your orgasm. He loves watching you come apart on a table in his ship, blindfolded and helpless.

Mando can feel his own climax nearing and he clasps your hips tight. His fast thrusts lose rhythm and you can feel his cock getting stiff in your cunt. He pumps his cock a few more times and then you feel his warm cum surge inside of you. “Fuuuccckkk.” Mando grunts as his white juices fill your hole.

He pulls out of you and scoots you to sit further back on the table as he redresses. You can feel his cum trickling out of your pussy onto the cold metal table beneath you. You close your legs— without him pressed up against you and without your sight, you feel so exposed and awkward.

You hear the hiss of his helmet and then feel his hands pushing your legs back open again, displaying your abused and leaking cunt. Mando unties the makeshift blind fold, and you see him standing fully clothed and armored in front of you. He wraps one hand around your waist and pushes your thigh further apart with his other hand.

“You look so pretty like this.” He says in his deep, modulated voice. “Come on.” He says with his hand still around your waist, motioning you off the table. You hop off and your legs immediately give out, your body falling to the floor.

Mando scoffs and pulls you up. “I told you you wouldn’t be able to walk.”

“You’re a man of your word.” You say sarcastically.

“Guess that means I’ll have to uninstall all the fuckin cameras you hid all over my ship.” Mando says as he sweeps you off your feet. He carries you into his sleeping quarters.

“No. Keep them.” You say with a side smile as he lays you down on the bed. “I like watching you jerk off. Especially when you jerk off while moaning my name.” You pull the blankets to cover you.

Mando sits on the bed that you’re lying on “Fuck.” He says caressing your cheek. “If you didn’t work for the Empire I’d take you with me.” Mando says bluntly.

“Take me with you, Mando!” You say sitting up. “I don’t wanna work for the Empire. Fuck the Empire. I’ve been looking for a way for so long.”

Mando smiles underneath his helmet. “Well, good thing you did such a shit job at your mission.”

**************************************

Masterlist

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Taglist:

@pinkninja200 @raspberrymama @stevie75 @tacticalsparkles @kenoobiwan @shark-s @theamuz @blackrose8425

[vampelune]

kamukomahina gender/body headcanons

a bit of a ramble about my body, gender, and general appearance headcanons for them bcuz someone sent me a curiouscat prompting this 3k words of hyperfixation nonsense

Komaeda:

- He has a naturally lithe body, with a thin waist, broad shoulders and hips, which give him an hourglass. and a rather andrognyous body, which is "lucky" for him, because I hc him as nonbinary and gender non-conforming

- Gender-wise, as I said, I think he's nonbinary. Usually I do view Nagito as AMAB but I indulge in transmasc Nagito from time to time depending on my preference and how much I wish to uh, well, project, lol. But either way I think he would use he/they pronouns in a western sense. In japanese, however, they don't use third person pronouns that other people refer to them with, and in canon he uses the first person pronoun "boku", which is a "soft" masculine pronoun, in comparison to the "hard" masculine pronoun, “ore” (which Hajime uses btw!) which fits quite nicely, in my opinion! Also, in Japanese, you can be 'fluid' with your first person pronouns depending on the situation, so I think he could use more neutral or feminine pronouns should he desire it, too, to play on his gender non-conformity.

- Komaeda is very secure in his gender, regardless of being AMAB or AFAB. He does not care about stigma, or discrimination, he does not care about being "accepted" by broader society. Broader society is sort of meaningless to him, the average person and their ideas about gender and presentation and effeminity mean NOTHING to him. Whether or not a random person the street genders him correctly or treats him with respect is sort of, pointless? Because to him, most ordinary people are pointless nobodies. Their thoughts do not matter to him. I think he is still prone to insecurity, however, when around his "betters" but I just struggle to think he would degrade himself in regards to gender. to him, it's the least of his problems. what he cares about is hope and talent. He could dress femininely or wear makeup or straight up crossdress and not mind it, really. He thinks people would find a problem with it are the problem, because why does it even matter? It speaks to the way Komaeda is detached from societal norms & "normal" people, he did not grow up in normal circumstances, so he doesn't interact with the world normally by any means. he can mask and act normally to the best of his ability, often unintentionally?, but he simply does not fit into broader society and doesn't seek to.

- Komaeda loses weight really easily, and doesn't gain weight that well. This is mainly due to his many illnesses but also the medications he's been put on. He has a low appetite and burns weight rather easily, even though I headcanon that he eats like garbage (mainly junk food & takeout, since he obviously cannot cook). This makes him overall, health wise, not very healthy, and stick thin because of it. A stiff breeze could knock him over, tbh.

- He has a lot of faded scars, self-inflicted or not.

- Pre-despair (in HPA) he is fairly healthy but still lithe, and progressively his body deteriorates through his 2 years of hopes peak before the Tragedy begins.

- During the Tragedy itself, his body is at it's worst. he is almost nothing but bone at times, barely kept together by a need to live so he can see hope triumph. His weight fluctuates but he's very unhealthy. He's not anorexic or on death's door, but he's not well off, either.

- After being put into the neo world program, right after waking up, he's very, very thin and gaunt. he was in a pod on feeding tubs for an indiscernible but at least probably a month's worth of time? So he's just very weak, like he could collapse if he moves too quickly.

- But a while after waking, he goes into remission, and starts to gain more healthy habits due to being rehabilitated and cared for by Hinata, and gains some weight, finally at a healthy, normal weight. I still think he would struggle with putting on too much weight, but I am slightly fond of the idea that he gets a bit of healthy pudge after a while. To him, it's so foreign being healthy, that he honestly think something's wrong with him at first.

Hinata:

- Hinata has a very... average body, true to form. His hips and waist aren't too pronounced but he has a loosely "hourglass" shape, too, just not as exaggerated as Komaeda's in comparison.

- Gender-wise, I am EXTREMELY fond of transmasc Hinata. While I think I portray AMAB Hinata more than transmasc Hinata (in art and writing), I still firmly prefer transmasc Hinata. The reason I think portray otherwise more is just out of comfortability, but I've been getting better at comfortably portraying FTM Hinata. I have some reasons I prefer it and think you can extrapolate it from canon, but let's get into that

- Hinata, in my eyes, has an arc and story that fits perfectly into him just. Being trans. His desire to be someone else, someone better, someone he can proud of, and the way he overcompensates for himself and has an extreme inferiority complex would easily lend to him having similar feelings about his gender. To me, Hinata is a trans man who overperforms his masculinity out of insecurity and a need to pass. I see him as someone who would strictly use "he/him" in a western sense, which is lended to by his use of the "ore" pronoun in canon, which is almost hypermasculine.

- Even if he were AMAB, I think it still works, I think he's still someone who's insecure and tries to assert himself more strongly and therefore performs masculinity in a way to appear more confident than he is.

(side note: I actually read a bit about queerness in Japan and how it relates to gender performance and the use of pronouns, and read a bit about how queer women in japan tend to use "boku" and "ore" to perform masculinity, which I find neat. “Ore” was also sometimes used exclusively to show anger and dominance, which is why it's categorized as a "rough" pronoun. I think Japanese language, gender, and expression, and how those all relate to one another, are extremely interesting and if you get the time you should read about it lol)

- Body-wise, pre-despair, I think Hinata would. not have top surgery, obviously. I think he has a fairly average but leaning a little on the hefty side chest (pre-op) and binds it, hence the '91 cm' (but also he still has 91 cm post-op because bazongas). I also just think he leans on the "twunk" side of things at this point, not buff but not stick thin or without muscle, just kind of average with average strength and all, though I think Hinata would've tried to do sports and stuff to find his talent so he's in shape :)

- My personal, kind of amusing, but also kind of... thematical? Headcanon, is that during the Kamukura project, he also underwent gender transition. to be honest, while it may not make sense in modern Japan, I think we can suspend our disbelief for fiction, and also make the argument that Hinata's "transition" into Kamukura CAN be read, in some part, as relatable or at least familiar to the trans experience. Iit is not out of the realm of possibility, either, to assume that because many bits of society in Danganronpa are advanced (specifically science, is extremely ahead of our understanding, almost sci-fi like at times) certain attitudes about gender and sexuality can be smoothed over more in a Japanese context.

(side note: I also think that science-wise, we can suspend our disbelief, and assume that top surgery and bottom surgery are much more advanced in this universe, given the almost unbelievable levels of science in Danganronpa, such as memory wipe, mind control, completely realistic virtual simulation, um literally everything about Kamukura which is body modification and brain modification to an extreme, etc. I think it's kind of fitting within these to assume that... Hinata/Kamukura could just, gain a functioning penis, lol)

Kamukura:

- Kamukura would have a. "Perfect" body. it's stated, I'm pretty sure, that they modified not only his brain but his body, because he needs to be able to perform every talent under their belt with ease, and his strength, instincts, technique, are all superhuman. So it's clear to me he'd have a buff body. toned muscles and all. He wouldn't really feel a need to keep it up, though, but I think since they're very... artificial (basically fucking steroids?) they wouldn't fade from a lack of keep-up.

- Kamukura also rarely ever is injured, but when he does, his body heals rather fast and can care for himself adequately, because again, his body is modified to a point of almost inhumanity.

- Gender wise, Kamukura genuinely does not care. however, I am not one to think that Kamukura is "a different person" from Hinata, rather, he is separate from Hinata, but an extension of Hinata as well, proven that he experiences some of his emotions even if subconsciously and without understanding them. he isn't a different personality or person developed in Hinata's body, but a very traumatizing, repressed, and manipulated version of Hinata given a new name, with memories repressed. He's like Theseus's ship in human form---if you get rid of everything that makes someone themselves and replace it, bit by bit, is it the same person? Technically, yes, but... truly? Who knows. 

Because of this, I think Kamukura would have a leaning toward masculine gender performance (in canon, in fact, he uses the soft masculine pronoun "boku" in stead of "ore" like Hinata) BUT I think he is still very nonbinary. In a western sense, i think he would use he/they pronouns, but not really care if someone mistook him for a woman, I suppose.

- His appearance, unironically, is very nonbinary or "he/they" to me because he's wearing a suit, the archetypal form of masculinity, but has extremely long hair, which is considered feminine, and speaks softly (dully). Of course, the bishounen "pretty boy" appearance isn't uncommon or considered less masculine in japan, I think, but there is still a different between soft masculinity and rough masculinity in japan, which lends itself to being interpreted sort of gender non-conforming by western audiences :)

- Kamukura, due to his apathy, struggles with self-maintaining, but as we all probably know i am extremely attached to KamuKoma and thus headcanon that Servant helps him, sort of like a royal servant would royalty in the old days, take care of himself by bathing him, brushing his hair out, grooming him, etc. partially out of duty, partially out of appreciation for Kamukura's body, and partially out of maintaining his sort of "perfect" look since Kamukura, especially post-Junko death, is perceived widely by the public as the new leader of the ultimate despair, even if he is ambivalent to such a title.

Post-DR3 Hinata/Kamukura combined:

As I rambled on about previously, I don't think that Kamukura and Hinata are separate people or personality, I really dislike the interpretation that they are like a "split personality" or operate like DID, because they do not "form" like DID, but also in canon, are not portrayed as separate people.

In post-dr3, Hinata instead says that he is both of them, because he is. Kamukura is Hinata, always was, but had been given a new, false identity, had been stripped of his previous self, his memories, his personality, and crafted into something new. but that did not "split" his brain into two people. It simply repressed who he once was, and made him someone he now was. But when Kamukura regains his memories, his past self, through the means of the new world program by restoring his own memories after SDR2 concludes and he wakes up, as well as doing the same for everyone else, he decides to be "Hajime Hinata" who he always was, but carrying and shouldering the weight of what "Izuru Kamukura" had been, become, and done. Hinata *is* Kamukura, he answers for Kamukura's wrongdoings, his crimes, as something he had done as a different person who's mind operated differently, due to being artificially suppressed, modified, into an apathetic tool for the scientists who made him, and later and aimless, bored individual who simply sought meaning he did not have in the unknown of what despair would be at it's climax. And if hope could overcome it.

As such, I think, when Hinata's self is brought back into the mix, and he now deals with Kamukura's apathy and boredom in part, but much less consuming and much less often, I think hinata is less staunchly "masculine", does not overperform it anymore, and is trying to understand what his past means to him, what his present is, and what his future will be. I think that Hinata would still primarily use he/him (or still use "ore" in Japanese, as it's also a means of his personality, which is a bit rough around the edges and blunt), but be more ambivalent to rigid gender expression, still finding comfort and idealness in masculinity, but not be made dysphoric or feel frightened, uncomfortable, with non-comformity or anything like that. being boyish, masculine, is what he enjoys, but he's comfortable in it now, doesn't need to prove himself or overperform it. He can explore nonconformity without feeling like his gender or masculinity is at threat, even if it's not his preference outright.

Body-wise, I think it's safe to say he retains Kamukura's muscle and all, but Kamukura didn't put much effort into the everyday machinations of being a human being in general, and Hinata is much more fond of food than him now, eats more often, and I enjoy the idea that he gains a little pudge and has a kind of "dad bod" almost, post-DR3? lol.

Both for Hinata and Kamukura I don't see their bodies as “bara” or overly buff, masculine, but a kind of comfortable middle ground between twunk and hunk, lmao. I think they're also averagely hairy, not overly so, very lightly. kind of well groomed, and all. Hinata, pre-despair, put not so much effort into his appearance but still some, especially in trying to pass. (In fact I think his hair cut looks like a home job, all choppy and stuff, which fits him in my opinion, something done by his own hands even if messy and imperfect, he still prefers to be in control of it. also fits the trans headcanon tehe).

Izuru put very little if any effort into himself, only the bare minimum necessary to function, but servant helped him upkeep it to a perfect standard. Hinata, post-dr3 now, finds himself putting you know, an average amount of care into himself and his body, enough to be healthy, but not overly critical and conscious of himself.

Komaeda i have always seen as someone who takes a good deal of care about himself, merely if to alleviate the "disgust" of his appearance and body, by practically preening himself. He is someone who is good at cleaning and seems to appreciate clean and well kept spaces, so I think he would have a similar attitude toward himself. even if he is insecure, and of course, struggles with mental health and may slip at times in his routine in keeping himself well-kept, I think he still maintains an appearance for the most part, at least in his later years (teen to young adult). An argument can be made that he cared less in his adolescence because he had much more apathy about the world, but when he gave himself a purpose with hope and talent, I think he would care for himself a little better, even if his was spiralling mentally.

His hair is always washed, it is just very curly and prone to mess, so it often looks like perpetual bedhead, even when he combs and brushes it. His skin is soft even if a little worn by his tendency for accidents & injury, it's still soft and almost luckily so, and he takes pride in moisturizing and cleaning himself. His skin is a little sickly, still, and I think that despite having blemishes, scars, etc. Komaeda manages to look pretty in a strange way, not conventionally beautiful, but almost ethereal? He's just *pretty*, there's no way to explain it, he is nice to look at even with all his "flaws" and imperfections. Even when he's sickly and bony, even when his cheeks are gaunt or his hands shaky and weak, when his hair is a tangled mess or his clothes are dirty, he's nice to look at in a way that's nonconventional, and it's sort of mesmerizing.

Hinata I think is very average but also in a way that's nice to look at it. He's not ground-breaking hot or conventionally attractive, he has a good body, a nice face, and hair you could play with a little if you wanted. I think what's appealing about him is his normalcy, he's not trying too hard or "gifted" gene wise, but he's just kinda nice to look at, he's enjoyable to be around, an understanding person, or at least tries to be even when he fails, and despite having flaws, insecurities, blunt, he is someone you're drawn to because he's one of those people that's just, easy to talk to? An emotional anchor, almost. The kind of guy everyone kind of knows and has talked to at least once, even if you're not friends with him personally, not because he's cool or popular or anything, but because he's a normal dude who's easy to trust and talk to.

Kamukura, on the other hand, is intimidating, appearance wise and personality wise. he looks, strange, anything but normal, his eyes are red and his hair is this dark cloud that envelops him. His face may still be that plain one Hinata has but faces can be changed by the surrounding attributes as well as expression and such is true for him, with his apathetic and cold expression as well as otherwordly characteristics, he comes off as much more beautiful in a dark way, kind of? In a way that's intimidating or a little daunting, but he's still very beautiful. mesmerizing.

okay, thats my ramble. ty.

[sly-s-n0nfusion]

Based on AO3 filters, my ✨personal✨ ratings and opinions on octopath traveler’s most popular ships because yes

Rated H for Honest ™️ ⚠️ (or B for Brutally honest)

Alfyn/Therion - Yes. Just yes, I ship it and it’s obvious why it’s so popular. They have the perfect amount of fluff and angst and portray the “sushine cinnamon roll who trusts too easily x wary lone wolf with trust issues” trope so well, plus I remember their dialogues being deep and adorable. Kind doctor taking care of emotionally hurt thief? Good stuff I give it a 9/10

Cyrus/Therion - I don’t get the appeal of it so it gets a no from me. I really do wonder why it’s so popular but I’m guessing it’s either because they’re some of the few travelers who don’t get along particularly well so there’s a bit of bickering here and there or because they’re both pretty bois ™️ but yeah I really can’t see any chemistry or I’m just pretending to ignore the fact that 99% of cytheri fics portray Cyrus in a way that is so out of character it hurts and while some people might like that it’s really not my thing. Gets a 2/10 for the good looks

Primrose/H’aanit - Another yes from me! They’re absolutely adorable together, top lesbians gfs. Favourite trope is H’aanit getting flustered with Prim’s teasing and I just love that, plus headcanon that Linde would absolutely love Primrose’s cuddles just as much as H’aanit does. Gets a 9/10

Olberic/Erhardt - Oooh boy where do I start- mfs be like I love Olberic he’s my favorite character and then they ship him with Erhardt 💀 (AFFECTIONATE)

This one gets a Yesn’t ™️ from me. It’s a yes if it’s before the fall of Hornburg, because it’s obvious that what they had was more than friendship especially on Olberic’s side, like, the tension was real. It’s definitely a no if it’s after the fall of Hornburg for a lot of reasons starting with Olberic’s traumatic experience and deep emotional scarring but I’ll just boil it all down to “if I have to, I ship them as a divorced couple”. As I see it, it’s impossible for Olberic to fully trust Erhardt again after what happened, of course they’re back to being friends and fight side by side but my brother in christ I feel like he got sentimentally detached after the fall. In Italy we say “a dish that has been heated twice sucks” and I think it applies pretty well to olberhardt. So yeah super unpopular opinion but it’s not my cup of tea. I just think Olby deserves better and he needs to move on- gets a 5/10 for the effort

Cyrus/Olberic - Just look at my feed y’all, it’s a oh god yes from me. Good chemistry 👏🏻 good dialogues 👏🏻 good fluff potential👏🏻 good angst potential👏🏻 otp 👏🏻 the fact that their interactions are so endearing, and Cyrus is so dense, and Olberic’s pining that eventually gets payed off, and their stubborn duties to keep one another safe, they’re both amazingly written characters, nobile and always fighting for justice, but they also have really different interests and personalities and they- they just complement each other so well okay I love them very much get married already. Solid 10000/10

Ophilia/Therion - Totally didn’t expect this one to be so high on this list but anyway here we are. It’s a yes from me! I remember their dialogues being hilariously cute. The “shy kind girl x bad edgy boy” trope isn’t my favorite but they sure look good together (plus the art where Ophilia cuts an apple for Therion is adorable). It’s a 7/10 for me

Primrose/Ophilia - Gets a “eeeeh” from me. Not personally my favorite but I can see some chemistry there, I just see them more as having a little sister/big sister relationship. Doesn’t get more than a 4/10

Alfyn/Zeph - Apparently it made it to the top relationships on ao3 and there’s a good reason behind it, the boys have chemistry. It’s a yes from me, too bad the Mercedes arc kinda wrecked it but it was there. Not as good as Alfyn/Therion though. It’s a 8/10

These are just my opinions and they’re completely irrelevant please don’t burn my house down I love you all

Also if you want to discuss about your personal favorites please do!

[just-another-hhazbin]

I have a question for you:

I'm aroace, and while I love Alastor and that he's ace and potentially aro (not sure if the aro part is definitely canon or not), apparently Viv has said in past streams that he's egocentric/doesn't love anyone but himself and I'm concerned that that's why she made him aroace. Especially if he's definitely aro, since if he were only ace it'd be less questionable imo. Granted, he does have friends so the "only loves himself" thing may not be 100% true, and these things could still change while the show's in development. I'm just kinda worried about Viv's reasoning. What do you think?

Hello, fellow aroace! I find it both amusing and suiting that I received this ask several hours after I queued the ADHD Alastor reblog, because to me, they are very similar subjects.

To the best of my knowledge, Alastor has been confirmed ace in canon by Vivziepop. However, only Faustisse, who i don’t believe is any longer a member of the Hazbin team and has never been in charge of such official decisions, openly declared him aromantic.

However, Vivz has hinted at this, but holds off at the last moment because she wants “people to ship whoever they like and to have fun” (paraphrased).

That’s... not great reasoning and vaguely problematic in and of itself, implying that aromantic people cause problems and etc., but whatever. It’s a smart marketing decision and helps prevent the fandom from turning into even more of a bloodbath than usual, so I understand why she decided that. Do I agree? No. Do I understand? Yes.

However, it is issues such as what you bring up that makes me somewhat thankful we haven’t seen him officially declared aro (yet).

If you’ve seen my aspd!Alastor or other aspd posts, then you probably know some of my thoughts on the subject. For those who haven’t, I’ll take it from the top.

I... am also concerned. I think in the end that how much depth Alastor’s characterization is given will determine whether or not the aro is a good move. 

From what we’ve seen and what’s been given, Alastor is a manipulative, unhinged, sadistic, vaguely narcissistic asshole who cares nothing for anyone other than himself. On that description alone, I would very much recommend not labeling him as aromantic. Aro people have had enough of that stereotype, thank you very much. Also, people such as that can experience romantic attraction, it’s just that they tend to be douchebags about it.

That being said, the Alastor comic does give me hope.

(If you haven’t read the comic, go do so, because there be spoilers ahead. https://www.hazbinhotel.com/alastor-comic/page-1)

Yes, he’s a generally annoying pain in the ass dressed in bright red. However, he also wasn’t just going about his business killing everyone for the Hell of it. Sure, he might do that sometimes, but I’ll take “sometimes.” Furthermore, he wasn’t purposefully extra-dickish to customer service people (unless you count feeding the birds, which should be considered a crime but also, Radio Demon, could’ve been worse) and he tips street musicians while being kind to his fans. 

He obviously does want social interactions, and was increasingly frustrated and upset when everyone fled from him and the rose wilted at his touch. He wants positive interactions! He wants joy and pretty things and obviously does care about what others think of him, despite statements to the contrary.

And of course, the culmination of him indeed committing a murder and going full cannibal on someone’s ass... after stepping in to stop that person from abusing a customer, giving him a second chance, and then intervening again to stop the asshole from assaulting someone else.

None of these actions had any benefit to him. He knows that this will only increase his reputation as do-not-fuck-with-or-speak-to at worst, and have no affect at all at best. But he does it anyway.

So. If this is the Alastor Vivz sees and if we get more of him, of an Alastor who yes is a bit of an unhinged serial killer cannibal but also seeks out positive interspersonal interactions and cares about strangers, then I would be much more settled with giving him an official aromantic designation. Because then it’s not just that he said “fuck people and relationships; I’m a narcissistic sadist,” but that he’s searching for personal connections that resonate with him, and romance just isn’t it.

So. Yeah. Right now a lot of shit has been said about Alastor official and otherwise, half of it contradicting itself, and while I am Definitely Concerned about him playing into the stereotypical tropes around bad aro rep, I do have some hope that maybe it could play out well.

Also, unrelated to Vivz and how she and her team handles things, there’s always the fact that Alastor’s brother from another mother is undoubtedly Hannibal, who is the most in-love cannibalistic sadistic narcississtic serial killing gay to ever gay (or kill), so that’s a nice little counter-argument to have if and when people decide to be shit about Al’s character + acearo rep.

[littlewetbeast]

you know... sometimes i think i've got jackles figured out, i think i've nailed down why he's so inconsistent about destiel, why he acts so weird about it sometimes and other times not. then some information is flung at me and it's back to square one. why is that man so insane. he just genuinely confuses me.

aw man. this shit is like catnip to my overactive, over-analytical brain.

okay. listen. i’m not gonna lie: the more i try to understand the goings-on behind spn with any degree of nuance, the more my head threatens to melt. HOWEVER. while i joke about jensen ackles being an enigma, i don’t... actually think he is.

[disclaimer: the following points include speculation. i don’t know these people and will never claim to. this is just my take on it. never bring this up to the actors in question.]

the quick and dirty: i believe jensen is likely queer himself. i believe that he strongly identifies with dean, that he feeds off of the environment around him, and that how he feels he can act around destiel and dean’s sexuality depends on 1) his support network, 2) the immediate social environment, and 3) his work environment, all of which have evolved throughout the years BUT can also vary day to day. increased confidence and securer social environment has helped him decrease the need to perform and lessens the likelihood of acting out from insecurity, but doesn’t completely eliminate it. point is: the environment matters. the more insecure you are, the more it will affect your behaviour.

that’s it. not trying to excuse any shitty behaviour, just saying that’s what it is. 

the NOT so quick and dirty: so - my point is, as a queer guy in this industry, he has obviously learned to put up a front to protect himself. (even misha does this to some extent!) it’s douchey, and it’s stupid, but i understand it. think of the drastic difference of how he behaves around misha vs j*red, or even in a large group setting. i’m not saying he’s not friends with j*red, but i DO immediately see the difference of ‘front switched on’ and ‘front switched off’.

firstly - just because jensen has matured a lot over the past 15 years and is far more relaxed about himself today than he was back then, doesn’t mean he can’t still have moments of uncertainty that can occasionally push him back to his old, bad habits. basically, for someone who has grown up in a toxic heteronormative environment (being taught by his dad that drinking through straws was gay) - and in an industry that is very unfriendly to queerness and queer narratives until VERY recently (and even now is still pretty toxic) - utilizing his stupid douchey dudebro front during moments of anxiety has probably been his go-to coping method for the majority of his life. 

secondly - we all know he’s insanely close to dean as a character. dean is a part of him. he slips in and out of character effortlessly. he cares about dean and dean’s happiness. but dean was never intended to be a queer character. jensen has played queer characters before, but that’s the difference - he is ‘playing’ a queer character. he wasn’t supposed to be ‘playing’ dean as a queer character. readings of dean as queer makes, well. readings of him as queer. that’s it. for someone who puts up such a front, i can imagine he’d be shitting himself at people picking this up from him when he’s NOT in a supportive environment for it. (yes the ‘jackles acting choices’ are a Thing, but they most likely happened within more supportive environments and during times of confidence - and, let’s face it, i think sometimes jacting choices just naturally bleed in because he’s a good actor who makes good intuitive acting choices. that was likely the primary reason for it, especially early on.) 

basically - queer readings of dean are taken as queer readings of him. therefore, his reaction to destiel has also varied depending on the environment and his work circumstances. think of there being like... a constantly shifting scale of how supportive his social environment and work environment are of queer readings of the character he plays. the further back we go, the less supportive all of these factors are; the closer to the present, the more supportive these factors are.

“but rosa! why hasn’t he just shrugged and said it’s up to audience interpretation what dean’s sexuality is, like he has recently?”

because of *points to all of the above*.

let’s illustrate what i mean. 

exhibit A) it’s fairly early days of “destiel”, maybe season 6 or so. an audience member brings up dean’s reaction to dr sexy and asks why he can react like this yet destiel is not possible. jensen says dismissively because “destiel doesn’t exist” and that dean is simply a fan of the show, to an audience that cheers.

(work environment (spn): not supportive. immediate environment (audience): not supportive. social environment (j*red): less supportive*.) *I am not claiming j*red is homophobic; however, jensen HAS felt the need to perform around him aside from the last 1-2 years.

exhibit B) it’s 2019. jensen gets straddled by misha on stage and gets a [redacted] which j*red notices and covertly jokes about in front of a large audience. he visibly becomes upset and is in a vulnerable state. misha points out a ‘destiel is real’ t-shirt (the very fact that misha did this suggests he’s far more used to a jensen who is relaxed and supportive). jensen gets defensive and asks ‘where is destiel real?’

(work environment (spn): uncertain. immediate environment (audience): uncertain. social environment (j*red and misha): mixed*.) *do i think jensen would have reacted 10x better if j*red had not been there? yes. yes, i do. do i think he would he have reacted better if he hadn’t had a [redacted] that j*red made fun of? yes. yes, i do.

exhibit C) it’s 2019. jensen and j*red are in front of an audience which, given today’s times, are likely more used to queer narratives. it’s highly possible the queer storyline for cas has been confirmed at this point. jensen is calm and in control, and is not feeling the need to act up his front. someone brings up ‘samstiel’ and j*red gags. jensen, unprompted, shows support for destiel.

(work environment (spn): given the timing, likely supportive. immediate environment (audience): likely supportive. social environment: (at home) supportive, j*red: supportive or mixed.)

we know that he has progressively felt less of a need to use his ‘front’ and has become more relaxed over the years, which i believe is likely hugely due to the positive influences of danneel and misha (and maybe others). i don’t think that has been the case for ONLY the last two years. i think jensen during exhibit B was miles away from jensen in exhibit A. jensen is not miles away between exhibit B and exhibit C. those two are differences of environments where he feels confident, in control, and is supported by the narrative he’s meant to play (C), vs an environment he felt less supported and less in control of (B).  i won’t get into it in depth here, but it’s worth noting that the past ten years have also seen huge changes in fandom culture, how actors and fandom interact, and how the film industry and corporations at large handle queer narrative and fans. that certainly affects this dynamic.

and that’s it, really. jensen is a sensitive person who feeds heavily off the people and environments he’s in. he’s matured a lot over the years and i truly don’t think it’s a stretch to say that, in environments that would have supported it, he likely has been very positive about queer narratives in spn. source: his stark difference around misha, his willingness to flirt and joke about dean and cas with him, his occasional calmer and balanced reactions to destiel in more private settings.

aaand that’s how i see it, really. even if you don’t subscribe to truthing - or even jensen being queer - all of these things apply just as strongly to men who feel the need to perform. what can i say, toxic masculinity and homophobia sucks a lot and i’m glad society is shifting slowly in the right direction, and that jensen feels safer and more secure than he once did. shame the cw is unwilling to get with the times. EDIT: for some additional, vital context, i refer you to these two additional posts, which cover his upbringing, how speculations about his sexuality has hounded him his whole career, and his first intro to shipping on supernatural being j2/wincest, which included some real ugly shit.

[fire-lady-ilah]

More good dad! Ozai AU? Even if you didn’t ask for it, you’re getting it and I’m picking up right where I left off. This is my reminder that, while Ozai is a good and non-abusive dad and husband in this, he is still very much an imperialist and a cruel person in general.

Parts [1] and [2] if you’d like. This is part 3. Here’s part [4]

The siblings venture into the capital, although they make it known that no one should inform their parents that they are nearby. The moment they step off the ship, Captain Jee sends a letter to the Fire Lady. He was loyal to the Prince and Princess above all, but he did not feel like being executed or exiled that day when Lady Ursa inevitably finds out.

In a large house just outside Caldera City, Lord Ukano lives with his wife, Michi, his daughter and heir, Mai, and his newborn son Tom-Tom. The Dragon Emperor and the Blue Spirit sneak into the bedroom of the heiress and steal her away.

In that I mean, Mai leaps at the opportunity to escape her home with her best friends, who she’s seen wearing the same theatre masks dozens of times, and follows willingly. It takes an hour longer than the siblings had expected, if only because Mai has far more knives than they had truly expected and they get caught up in the palace kitchens stealing Azula’s favourite mochi and some bags of fire flakes.

Then they are caught by Fire Lady Ursa, who is gathering a late night cup of cocoa after a nice night with her husband, not that her children need to know that part. Her children, who are wearing her theatre masks that had very recently gone missing from her collection, stare at her innocently. Her daughter carries two entire boxes she knows are full of mochi. Her son carries the fire flake bag they use for festivals. Her one day daughter-in-law is making a cup of cocoa and the Fire Lady calmly requests one for herself from the girl.

That night, the fire Prince and Princess sleep in their own rooms, with Lady Mai in one of the many available. In the morning, they take breakfast with the Fire Lord and Lady, discussing trivial matters of politics and domestic affairs.

Mai leaves on the request of the Fire Lord, bringing everything they took from her home and the palace (along with what Ursa and Ozai insisted they take) to the ship with the help of some soldiers.

Azula and Zuko sit with their parents. Ursa gives them each two potent bottles of poison. Ozai’s voice has a worry that only his family knows how to detect through the facade of boredom as he inquires how their firebending and blades practice has been, as to the state of their weaponry. They try to soothe their parents worries with assurances: their practice has been going well in both bending and blades, Azula has achieved perfection in lightningbending and Zuko has achieved lightning, their blades are sharp and well maintained, they weren’t harmed when the temple blew up—

It slips through Zuko’s lips. He was never the actor like his mother and sister. For their part, his parents do not react overly beyond a flickering of the flame and a long sip of tea.

“Your mission has changed.”

Ozai is smart. Everything he does is to serve his goals the best they can. In canon, the premier of those goals is to gain more power for himself. In this world, that goal is to secure the ideal outcome for his family. (Of course, his second goal is as much power as possible. But it is only considered after his first goal).

Allying themselves with the Avatar, at least in appearances, will secure the best outcome for his children. And he has no doubt that his brother (so weak after the death of his son. And yet, Ozai cannot find it within him to scorn him overly. He knows that were he to be left childless, he would break. It is merely that Ozai would break in an explosion, whereas Iroh’s flame fizzled into embers.) would eagerly help his children betray him. Even if it was just in appearances.

His children are loyal and dutiful. They protest, but only out of a desire to maintain that loyalty. He wishes the Avatar had remained hidden, at least until they were both adults. They are prodigal, yes, but they are just siblings.

“You have our permission to reveal your mother’s ancestry. Use it wisely.”

The children know their lineage for at least five generations on each side. That, of course, is in addition to their knowledge of every Fire Lord that has reigned since the unification of the Fire Nation. They are well aware that their Grandmother Rina (who feeds them chocolate and tells them stories whenever she visits) ‘s father was Avatar Roku. Just as they knew of the friendship between Fire Lord Sozin and Avatar Roku.

It is necessary for the people of their nation to hear pretty lies. It is not their responsibility to worry about the nuance and complexity of life. It is one of their responsibilities as Angi’s heirs in the mortal world. To worry of such things is a burden they should not have to bear. It is necessary for the people to believe the Avatar hated the Fire Lord.

The siblings don’t know everything, of course. They are just children after all. But they understand the nuance, the conflicting beliefs. They were told the truth (and carefully kept from necessary propaganda before then) when they were old enough to look critically at the situation. It was their duty to bring the Fire Nation’s good to the other nations, to liberate their populations, the siblings decided.

The Avatar is just a child, but he seemed able to connect with his past lives. And he had pointedly not hurt them, at least as Avatar Roku.

If nothing else, they have the Dragon Emperor and Blue Spirit on their side.

“Zhao has asked for permission to launch an invasion on the Northern Water Tribe. He is a fool, but he claims he has knowledge that will ensure his victory. Tomorrow, I will send him a letter approving his asinine idea. You will stop him— kill him, if you must— and use that act of perceived treason to ally yourselves with the Avatar.”

Ozai wants power, but he is no fool. The invasion is risky at best. He cannot find it within himself to care for the tens of thousands that would doubtlessly die in it, the Northern Water Tribe had the advantage in multiple ways. It would serve its purpose to get his children at the Avatar’s side.

The tone lightens after his orders and Ozai steps back from his role as Father Lord into just being a father. He teases his son on his interactions with his betrothed. He teases his daughter and asks if she would be visiting the circus soon, taking note of how she had learned to prevent a blush but not the squeak in her voice. They are not infallible, they are children.

As they see their children for the last time in the foreseeable future, the Fire Lord and Lady both think as to how much they will miss them. Ursa blinks back tears as she hugs them both, smiling as they react identically, burying their faces into her chest to hide them and breathing in the scent of fire lily perfume.

Ozai is not usually physically affectionate with his children. He had never received it from his father and was much more competent in other ways. That being said, no one commented on the kiss he pressed to the top of Zuko’s head (still shorter than him by quite a bit. Sometimes he acted so adult, but he was so clearly still a child) before repeating the action with Azula.

“I am so proud of you. Both of you.”

I’m just now realizing Blue Spirit is supposed to be after the whole Roku thing. Oh well.

For appearances’ sake, the siblings and Mai continue to chase the Avatar. Zhao attacks the Avatar while he trains under the Deserter. Princess Azula ensures the forest doesn’t burn while Prince Zuko uses all the bottled up anger at both Zhao himself and Azulon (really, what is with grown men trying to kill 11/12 year olds?) to yell at Zhao for acting so recklessly.

And if, perhaps, he manages to endear himself to others by knocking Zhao’s feet out from under him, all the better.

The Avatar and his friends escape and the siblings celebrate another success as Zhao nurses his bruised ass and ego.

(“Hey, did the Deserter look like that dude in Master Piandao’s painting in his main hall to you?”

“Admiral Jeong Jeong and Master Piandao were married, Zuko. Obviously that was him.”)

Zhao attempts to order their crew away from them, citing his rank as admiral as above prince and princess.

Azula’s sharp tongue reminds Admiral Zhao that Zuko is not only a prince, but the Crown Prince, and thus he is equal in rank to Zhao. As was their uncle a general, retired or not.

Behind the royalty of the ship stands Captain Jee, his eyes locked with Zhao’s. His eyes promise mutiny even if he were to somehow take them. His eyes swear loyalty to the Crown Prince, to his sister, above all else.

Zhao turns to leave.

“Of course, that is not to say we will not join your invasion.” Zuko sounds like his father sometimes, and never more than when his voice holds a hint of smug satisfaction. “Merely, do not presume to think you can order us in any way. We out rank you, and our crew is the best our Nation has to offer.”

Their ship joins, at least in appearance, Zhao’s fleet. That being said, they obey no orders from the Admiral and only allow his “inspections” of the ship and their crew once. For all intents and purposes, they are just there to observe.

And observe they do. The siblings watch the way Zhao treats his subordinates and twin righteous flames burns in their chests. The truth of being raised by a loving father means that Zuko and Azula are both rather sheltered in comparison to their canon selves. They are raised on ideals of honour and the divine responsibility of a monarch, rather than on the truths of war and practicality of rule. It only results in a hotter fire and more questions as to if Sozin’s way was truly the one to follow.

They still have absolute faith in their father. After all, he is the one that raised them, that taught them of honour and the ideals of a monarch. He is the one that sheltered them. He is the one that suggested they befriend the Avatar to keep them safe.

On the ship, only three people know the entire plan. The first two are the siblings, of course. The third is Captain Jee. He is the one that will keep their ship away from the invasion itself so there is no risk of their crew being harmed in the doomed attack. He is the one that will direct the ship to the colonies once the siblings are with the Avatar. Captain Jee has no qualms about technically commuting treason.

Mai knows some of the plan. In that, Mai knows exactly what Zuko and Azula tell her and then what she observes. She sees the way they stick together, now more than ever. Sees the way that Azula trains her non-lethal lightning (because even she, a nonbender, knows it’s far harder to bend lightning that doesn’t kill than that that does). She hears the way they drop the title of Fire Lord when speaking of their royal great grandfather. She catches whispers about Fire Lord Roku. About the Avatar.

Mai, in a way, knows more than the siblings themselves. She knows that they are genuinely sympathetic toward the Avatar in a way that they don’t yet realize. She begins to keep all her knives on her person, along with an easily grab-able bag for travelling in her room. There was no way she’d be letting her best friends turn traitor without her. This is the most exciting thing she’s done in years.

Iroh knows less than he believes. Oh, he gets the dropped title just as well as Mai, but he does not know the intricacies of Zuko and Azula the way Mai does. He sees Azula’s practice and writes it off as her ever-present search for perfection. He catches the tail end of a conversation between siblings and does not stop to consider who exactly “great grandfather” may be referring to. It would be unthinkable for his brother to tell the children of their heritage.

Despite this, Iroh also knows more than most. He knows from conversation exactly what Zhao intends to do in the Northern Water Tribe and it turns his blood to boil.

They reach the Northern Water Tribe. The siblings sneak off the ship in an emergency boat. Mai enters at the last moment and neither send her away.

Iroh has already left the ship, though he is currently in one last meeting with Zhao in an attempt to convince him not to continue with his plan. He will not check back with his niece and nephew, believing them to be safe on the ship.

In the Northern Water Tribe, the three Fire Nation teens remain tucked into the shadows. They, unfortunately, have no idea where the Avatar is and wander through the city. However, they reach the Avatar’s friends before Zhao does.

(“Is he... alive?”

“He’s just meditating.”)

It goes far better than they could have expected. The siblings’ act of releasing Sokka and Katara from Zhao’s bindings results in a part of water tribe siblings being quite willing to hear them out. Princess Yue gives them an odd look but remains quiet.

Zhao shows up. Iroh shows up. Azula and Zuko denounce him (though they cannot bring themselves to denounce their father, even though they know they should). Zhao declares them all traitors, a koi fish in a bag in his hand.

A bolt of lightning hits Zhao straight in the back. Both he and the koi fish fall into the pool of water. He does not emerge.

Azula’s face is carefully blank, even as she watches the water. She cannot stop to consider whether it is her or the water that just killed the admiral, or if he was even dead at all. She could not even see his body in its depths. She used non-lethal strength.

Despite Princess Yue’s backing, the Northern Water Tribe wants to take the siblings prisoner (hostage, everyone knows). After all, everyone knows of the devotion they show to the Fire Lord and vice versa. If nothing else, they would be excellent bargaining pieces in a more formal treaty.

They had not factored this into their plan. Admittedly, they had not factored the Northern Water Tribe into their plan at all.

The three Fire Nation teens are thrown into a prison cell. A rather comfortable prison cell, but still a prison cell. Iroh is taken somewhere else.

Within five hours, they sit on the back of a flying bison, Sokka handing them food he had smuggled out of the meal as Katara was smuggling them out of prison.

(“We tried to get your Uncle too,” the Avatar says in a remorseful tone, “but we couldn’t find him.”

“Uncle will be fine.” Azula declares, her mind set only on the future as she tries not to think about the way Zhao sunk beneath the still surface of the pond.

Zuko nods in agreement and clutches her hand in a comforting way.)

The Gaang now consists of six people:

Aang, a twelve year old Avatar with a mastery in air and a decent proficiency in water. He looks at the Fire Nation teens and sees his friend Kuzon, sees a time from before the war when an Air Nomad could wander freely through the Fire Nation. He attempts to use Fire Nation slang with them but it’s a century old and results in only laughter.

Katara, a master waterbender and healer (a concept that intrigues Azula to no end, although she tries to keep her questions polite). She tends to have a short temper when it comes to matters of the Fire Nation, but even she can be coaxed into trying a few sweets that Zuko has stored in his bag.

Sokka, a hunter and warrior who may or may not be engaged to the NWT princess (Zuko says he is, Azula says he isn’t). Azula laments that her jokes are even worse than Zuko’s, to which Mai agrees. It is that comment that leads Sokka and Zuko to start bonding, having nothing better to do on the bison’s back than exchange bad jokes.

Crown Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, who Sokka would insist is walking Fire Nation propaganda as he goes on at least one rant about Fire Nation culture and technology a day. Who surprisingly helps Katara with the cooking because it was one of the things Fire Lady Ursa carried over from before she was Fire Lady and taught to her children.

Princess Azula of the Fire Nation, who has a sharp tongue and a sharper pair of twin daggers that she seems to enjoy threatening her brother with for any inconvenience, even though they both just laugh at it. (Katara and Sokka have to be assured by them both that they truly love each other and that threatening each other with weapons carried over from the theatre scrolls they used to act out as children).

Lady Mai talks the least, seemingly content just to talk to Zuko and Azula. Aang makes it his mission to get her to warm up to him and spends a good portion of his time trying to talk to her. He succeeds when he brings up air ball, of all things. Mai’s parents had discouraged her from sport, believing it to be unfitting of a young lady just as they had discouraged her interest in knives until Zuko and Azula had ganged up on them. Partially for that reason, Mai enjoyed sports quite a bit, a shock to even Zuko (though Azula knew). After that, she talks mainly to Zuko, Azula, and Aang.

Captain Jee guides his ship to the Fire Nation colonies, unable to confirm that his Prince and Princess were okay. He hadn’t expected the worry he feels now, but he knows he will be awaiting a letter at Yu Dao if they are safe.

Prince Iroh is startled to discover that, while meeting with Master Pakku, the Avatar, his friends, his nephew and niece, and Mai had all disappeared.

As had his ship.

[badapricot]

Lovely Writer: Count 26, 27, & 28

These are the chapter summaries for Count 26, 27, & 28 which should be included in episode 10 and/or episode 11 of Lovely Writer. Keep in mind that the show is very different and they often cut, change, and move things around.

Count 26

Gene is sleeping in the car while Nubsib drives them home from their parent’s house. It’s raining outside.

Nubsib wakes up Gene because he said he wanted to buy snacks, and they go to Maxvalu.

They go back to the condo and Gene immediately plants himself in front of the TV with the snacks.

Nubsib pushes him to shower so Gene does very quickly before going back to the TV.

Nubsib showers with the door open and Gene watches TV. He sees a promo for Bad Engineer and remembers that the show is being aired soon, so he gets a clip on his phone and posts it on IG. Nubsib comes out when Gene is filming and asks Gene why he didn’t dry his hair well. Gene says it will dry on its own.

People in the comments on the clip point out that they can hear Nubsib saying Gene’s name.

Nubsib dries Gene’s hair.

They keep watching shows and Gene asks Nubsib if it’s awkward to watch his acting and Nubsib says that he has to make sure he’s performing well for his boyfriend, so it’s fine. He wants it so that Gene isn’t able to take his eyes off of him. Gene is surprised when he remembers that he’s the boyfriend.

The next day Gene goes to meet Hin at the cake shop near Nubsib’s university. He’s started basically living at Nubsib’s condo full time.

Hin tells him that Bua wants him to write a special NC chapter for his book.

Hin asks him if he’s going to a book event with Nubsib and Gene says that if he goes with him everyone will want his autograph. Hin asks him why he’s getting jealous of Nubsib like that.

Gene posts a picture of his cake online and forgets to text Nubsib back while he’s eating with Hin. When he puts his hand up to wave for the cheque, Nubsib grabs it. He was able to recognize where Gene was from his IG post and he walked over from the university.

Gene tells Nubsib to eat with him then and Nubsib says he won’t eat cake unless Gene feeds him. Gene says fine, it doesn’t matter since he paid anyway.

When they get home, Nubsib showers while Gene tries to find inspiration to write his NC chapter. He thinks getting the hardest thing (the sex scenes) out of the way first will make it easier.

Gene watches some anime but decides he wants something different and ends up reading a dark BL novel.

“‘Inside the twitching did not stop.’ Do you like r*pe roleplaying?”

“Shit!” I was so startled, my hands closed the book suddenly when the embarrassing conversation in it was read out.

Nubsib sat beside me, the corner of his mouth smiling. “Do you like this?”

“Like...like this?”

“This.” His fingers gently grabbed my wrist, as if deliberately teasing me. “Is my Gene a masochist?”

“No! I’m just reading and using the information for my writing.”

“A sex scene again?”

I felt a little embarrassed. “Well...you can see.”

Because I always sit and read scenes like this only, Nubsib knows that I have trouble with sex scenes.

“Can I help you?”

Again...we’re in a familiar situation.

I instantly shook my head. “No need, this time I don’t want any realism.”

Gene keeps reading and then retires to bed.

When he does, Nubsib abruptly kisses him and pulls him onto his lap. Gene asks Nubsib what he’s doing and Nubsib says he’s helping him write. 

Nubsib pushes Gene’s shirt up and tells him to hold his shirt up in his mouth. When Gene bites down on his shirt, Nubsib kisses his chest and asks Gene if he likes it, which Gene denies.

Nubsib asks Gene, “Do you like the novel you read earlier? Do you want me to tie you up like that?”

Nubsib holds Gene to him and fingers him before they start having sex. Nubsib eventually asks Gene to start moving himself, if it doesn’t hurt, and Gene starts shyly riding Nubsib.

Nubsib suddenly starts moving and puts Gene on his back. Gene says, “Nubsib...hold me,” and Nubsib holds Gene’s wrists over his head, and holds him. It’s embarrassing and Gene can’t even understand all the hoarse words Nubsib is saying in his ear, but he holds onto him.

While they’re coming down from their orgasm, Nubsib tells Gene, “Let’s take a shower later. One more round.”

Nubsib presses their foreheads together and Gene can’t say no. 

Count 27 (Nubsib POV)

Nubsib thinks back on the sex and how he accidentally made Gene cry. He actually wants Gene to cry more, to feel more, but he has to stop himself from instinctively doing anything violent.

Nubsib sees a red mark on Gene’s neck and touches it. He thinks that if Gene can’t let people know that the mark is his, then he’ll hold it all the time. Or hide it and Gene away, so they’re not seen by anyone.

The phone rings and Gene gently urges Nubsib to pick it up because he’s sleepy.

It’s Tum and he can tell he interrupted them because of Nubsib’s mood, so he quickly tells Nubsib the details about his summer photoshoot. Nubsib tells Tum that he wants to reserve another plane ticket and Tum figures that it’s for Gene and agrees.

When Nubsib hangs up, Gene asks him when he’s going. Nubsib tells Gene that he’s going on the trip too.

Gene says Nubsib has work though, and Nubsib says he isn’t working day and night. They can be together. Gene begrudgingly agrees but says he’s “too lazy to go out” even though Nubsib can see his eyes are shining and he’s very excited.

Gene tries to go swim when they arrive, but Nubsib tells him to wait until there’s more shade. Gene says he has sunscreen but Nubsib tells Gene that he finishes at five, and they can swim then. Gene grumbles but he’s obedient.

Because everyone knows who Nubsib is, Nubsib booked them two rooms and Gene moved his stuff in first. Nubsib will move his in later. They’ll share one room, while Tum takes the others. Nubsib thinks the whole ruse is really annoying.

Tum says he knows he was only invited as a cover for Gene (because they’re friends) but he’s thankful that Nubsib’s letting him stay in a luxury resort room for free. Nubsib tells him that if he’s really thankful he should carry Gene’s luggage.

Nubsib goes to his photoshoot while Tum takes care of Gene. Gene sends Nubsib pictures of a coconut and a crab and other random things he finds, and Nubsib is so happy that a homebody like Gene is so excited to be out.

When Nubsib arrives back, Gene asks if they can swim now and Nubsib says yes. Gene is very excited.

They go to the private beach at the hotel and it’s fine because the place is so luxurious it’s mostly populated by foreigners who don’t know Nubsib.

Nubsib stops Gene from going into the water in exchange for applying sunscreen to Gene’s arms, shoulders, and legs, which makes Gene shy. Nubsib tells Gene not to play in the sun for too long and tells him he’ll wait for him right there.

Gene plays for so long that Nubsib is sure he’ll sleep but he showers and they go out to a market.

Gene sees a tourist attraction for snorkeling and asks Nubsib if he wants to go, if he’s not busy, and Nubsib asks Gene why he’d want to do it alone.

Gene says Nubsib is working, so he thought he’d be too tired, and Nubsib says he’s used to fucking Gene and then waking up and going to university after. Gene tells Nubsib that if he keeps talking like that, he’ll stab him.

They go back to the hotel and lie in bed. Gene asks Nubsib to take a picture for his parents in the LINE group chat.

Gene tells Nubsib not to make a face that’s too handsome. He’s sick of Nubsib being complimented by his mother.

They take silly selfies together.

Count 28

Gene is home and looking through pictures of their trip. It’s been years since he travelled.

He’s thinking about picking up Nubsib from school to get cake to celebrate finishing his recent manuscript, when he gets a call from Tum. He’s concerned because Tum doesn’t video call him but only calls, and sounds really urgent.

He goes to meet Tum at the TV station and Nubsib is already sitting in the boss’s office.

He shows them pictures of Nubsib and Gene on their beach trip—they were seen in the night market. He goes on to show them Facebook posts and tweets with thousands of likes. Because of the SibGene pictures, people are shipping them a lot, and it’s bad for the series because they want them to ship SibAey.

Gene feels bad for causing trouble for the fans and for the network.

Gene sees some negative comments about how people are going to stop following Nubsib and that they now hate him because Nubsib is selfish, and didn’t think of the fan’s feelings, and those comments make him feel the worst.

Nubsib holds Gene’s hand and assures him that it’s not his fault which makes Gene feel worse.

The head of the TV station tells Nubsib that him and Gene need to stop interacting, stop going out, stop liking and commenting on each other’s social media etc. and Nubsib says it’s impossible to be separated from his boyfriend and his contract didn’t specify that.

The head tells him that it was implied because everyone knows that being a BL actor necessitates selling fanservice. Nubsib says that they can go ahead and rip up his contract then, because he never intended to act at all, or in another series after this. He only went to the casting for Gene. 

Nubsib is angry but calm and he shocks everyone. Tum and the boss remind Nubsib that he has ten months left on his contract and if he leaves now he’ll have to pay a penalty. Nubsib says he knows and he’s prepared to pay.

Gene can’t take it. He cuts off Nubsib and tells the boss that he’ll stay away from Nubsib until the end of his contract, and he won’t stop by him if Tum isn’t there.

The boss is pleased and says he’s glad Gene understands. He says the next day that Nubsib needs to come by the studio for a small press conference where he’ll amend the news about him dating Gene.

They leave, leaving Nubsib and Gene to talk alone.

Nubsib tells Gene that they’re forcing them to break up and he won’t have it.

“You’re a star so it has to be like this.”

I didn’t want to cause problems for Nubsib’s work.

I felt extremely bad, thinking about Nubsib agreeing to pay the penalty to cancel his contract.

“We have to be like this?” Nubsib, who had been quiet for so long, repeated my words. “Maybe other actors can secretly date their boyfriends while they let the Internet ship them with someone else, but I can’t do that.”

“...��

“You can say that I’m selfish. But I only accepted the job to act in this series because of you. If it causes us problems like this, then I don’t want to continue this work.”

“I didn’t...” I shook my head.

The words were stuck in my throat, and I was unable to speak.

“So what are you going to do?”

“As I said. After the series ends, I’ll break my contract.”

“No!” I immediately interrupted. His eyebrows furrowed tightly together. “You’ve worked for your own savings, and haven’t asked your parents for work all this time. There’s no need to stop because of me. Another thing...if you rip up the contract you’ll need to pay a penalty. And not a thousand baht, but a couple hundred thousand baht.”

“And you’re fine with our relationship being like that? Not letting anyone know that I’m dating you? Making others think that I’m not in a relationship with you?”

“...”

When I didn’t answer the question, Nubsib shook his head while staring at me. “You’re being like this again. If anyone has a problem and tells you to do something, you follow because you care about them. Why don’t you do that for me? Why don’t you miss me?”

“I just don’t want you to waste your money and lose work!”

“You still don’t understand? Even after the series ends, there’s still nothing in my contract that specifies I can’t have a boyfriend. Pictures can be posted online at anytime. The Internet isn’t that easily quieted.”

“...”

“The only way for them to be satisfied is if we really break up.”

“...”

I froze.

Break up...

Everything I was thinking up until that point became blocked by that work in my mind.

I didn’t know what conclusion we’d come to when we started talking. Nubsib and I disagreed. There were several solutions to the problem. But I didn’t think for a second that breaking up was a solution.

“You want to...break up?” My voice is so low, I can barely hear myself.

“...”

Gene wants to faint at Nubsib’s suggestion.

He goes upstairs and showers and then gets into bed. He hears Nubsib come in and stand over him, but he doesn’t speak. Gene pretends to be asleep.

Gene thinks that he doesn’t want to break up with Nubsib but he’s the older one so he needs to be responsible. He can’t cause trouble for Nubsib like this.

Gene comes out and Nubsib is sitting in the living room. Nubsib tells Gene that he was being selfish and immature earlier and Gene is relieved.

Nubsib tells Gene that if he wants him to listen to the boss, then he’ll do it for Gene. He goes on to tell Gene that since the fans know they live together, it’s probably best for Gene to go back to live in his condo for now.

Gene feels terrible.

[rovelae]

Why Saiouma isn’t toxic

(CW: in-depth discussion of abuse, discussion of rape/noncon)

           Disclaimer(s): This is an intellectual discussion, not a screaming match. If you’re here to argue with facts and evidence, I don’t mind debating with you. If you just want to throw a tantrum because I like something you don’t, I’m going to tell you to take a Xanax and go to bed.

           I’m combining the terms “toxic” and “abusive”; though they aren’t technically the exact same, they’re similar enough for the purposes of this essay.

           This essay isn’t meant to convince you to ship Saiou. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. But it’s not right to scream ‘abuse’ where none exists; it hurts fans and content creators, and it “diminishes the importance of that word and it reduces [it] to something volatile and stupid.”

           To begin with, we have to identify what makes a relationship abusive. The way I define it, an abusive relationship involves manipulation, an inherent power imbalance, and/or physical or sexual abuse. Most of the hate-posts I’ve seen paint Kokichi as the abuser and Shuichi as the hapless victim, so that will be the focus of this essay.

1. Would Kokichi manipulate Shuichi for personal gain?

           There’s no denying that Kokichi is a manipulative person. He’s a liar and he did some awful things in the game. No one’s saying he’s a morally white character. But it would be wrong to say he’s entirely evil, either.

           I’ve already covered in this post why Kokichi can’t be said to lie for personal gain, but I’ll quote a bit of it here.

           “The motivation [behind Kokichi’s lies] isn’t self-serving—he’s motivated by a desire to end a death game and stop anyone from having to go through what he and his friends have ever again. The smaller lies, though, like lying about his favorite foods? It would be annoying to be tricked like that, but it’s way too much of a stretch to label it psychological abuse.”

           We know that Kokichi’s DICE organization has a moral taboo against murder. We know he hated the killing game, to the point where he orchestrated his own suicide in order to ruin it. And almost every time Kokichi lies in the class trials, it’s either for comedic relief or to push the cast toward finding the culprit.

           “But Chapter 4!” you protest. “Kokichi manipulated Gonta into killing Miu!”

           My response is threefold:

-        Miu started it. Kokichi wouldn’t have done anything at all if his life wasn’t in danger and he wasn’t desperate.

-        It’s wrong to think that Gonta is incapable of making his own decisions. Kokichi may have influenced him in that direction, but Gonta actively made the choice to kill Miu—his own avatar confirms it at the end of the trial. (See also: Impytricky’s “Gonta Gokuhara Character Analysis: When a Genius is Treated like a Child”)

-        Kokichi felt terrible about what happened in Trial 4, to the point where he begged Monokuma to execute him along with Gonta. He didn’t need to do that, and it throws off his whole “I’m the mastermind” act just a few lines later, so we must assume he was being honest about that. It’s clear that he doesn’t enjoy hurting others.

           If that’s still not enough for you, consider: desperation, and, by extension, the killing game, brings out the worst in people. We can’t accurately judge a person’s character if all we have to go off of is the worst parts of them. Would Leon have killed Sayaka outside of the killing game? Would Hifumi have agreed to help Celestia kill Taka? Would Gundham have killed Nekomaru?

           So, would Kokichi manipulate Shuichi for personal gain? No. His whole character is motivated by a desire to help the others, and his lies are either manifestations of that motivation or harmless pranks meant to entertain.

2. Does the Saiouma ship have an inherent power imbalance?

           Shuichi is, by his own admission, weak. Kokichi has a strong personality and likes to be in charge. That doesn’t mean that Kokichi doesn’t respect Shuichi and his opinions. In fact, each class trial is packed with evidence of Kokichi listening to Shuichi’s point of view and respecting his intelligence. For instance:

-        Kokichi sided with Shuichi during scrum debates 2, 3, and 4

-        Kokichi pointed out most of Shuichi’s lies during the trials (and back routes), but in most cases, didn’t fight him on it

-        Shuichi is the only character identified as “trustworthy” by the white board in Kokichi’s room—i.e., Kokichi trusted him to at least be on the right track in the trials.

           Kokichi is also shown to care about Shuichi’s feelings in the game, like when he told him he’d rather bring Kaede back to life in Chapter 3, because it would make Shuichi happy. To reiterate: he wants Shuichi to be happy even if it means they don’t end up together. That says a lot.

           Additionally, I already mentioned that Shuichi is weak, but it’s important to realize that he isn’t so much of a pushover that he’s entirely incapable of standing up for himself. Look at his interactions with Miu, for example: he sharply told her that “I can wear a hat if I want” when she made fun of him for it, and in her FTEs, he refuses to eat the hygienically questionable food she made for him.

           Shuichi’s kind of a simp and tends to get roped into things, yes. But he’s able to stand up for himself—especially after Chapter 6—to the point where he wouldn’t enter into a relationship unless he wanted to. If you think Kokichi would somehow be able to force Shuichi to be his boyfriend, you have no faith in Shuichi—and Chapter 6 proves you wrong.

           So, is Saiouma inherently imbalanced? No. Kokichi respects Shuichi’s feelngs, intelligence, and opinions, and Shuichi’s a stronger character than he’s given credit for.

3. Would Kokichi physically or sexually abuse Shuichi?

           One needs only to look at Kokichi’s Love Hotel event for the answer. While the Love Hotel isn’t canon to the game’s timeline, the characters are still in character— that is, Kokichi and Shuichi are acting as they normally act.

           It’s important to note that Kokichi is the only character who backed off of Shuichi after Shuichi either appeared visibly uncomfortable or told them to stop. Kaede asked for Shuichi’s consent and was given it; Angie, Himiko, Kiyo, Miu, and Tsumugi all took advantage of Shuichi in some way or another; and the rest just didn’t have sexual connotations. Kokichi made advances on Shuichi, noticed that Shuichi was uncomfortable, and immediately backed off.

           “But wait!” you cry. “Just because one character didn’t rape the other doesn’t mean they have a good relationship!”

           Of course, and that’s important to realize, too. But recall that the purpose of this essay isn’t to convince you to ship Saiouma—it’s to prove that it isn’t abusive.

           Keep in mind that this was Kokichi’s fantasy— he would have been able to do whatever he wanted to Shuichi with zero repercussions, and Shuichi probably wouldn’t even remember much when he woke up. And still, Kokichi chose to stop the moment he realized Shuichi wasn’t on board with what was happening. That says a lot.

           And what about outside the game? We know from the Salmon Mode ending that Kokichi is desperate for someone to “figure him out.” He’d be very careful not to jeopardize his relationship with someone who genuinely wants to understand him.

           And Shuichi does genuinely want to understand him:

           So, would Kokichi physically or sexually abuse Shuichi? No. It’s just not in his character.

“But what if Kokichi was lying about EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE GAME?” you yell. “There’s no way we can trust anything he’s ever said ever!”

           If every Danganronpa character was polite, kind, open, and honest, 100% of the time without fail, the game would be incredibly boring. If that’s the kind of media you’re into, I’d recommend something like Reader Rabbit or Winnie the Pooh. Danganronpa is a murder mystery, where characters hurt and betray and lie and actually kill each other. You can’t trust anyone; that’s the whole point.

           So I advise you to go back through the game with an open mind and try, actually try, to use reading comprehension skills to understand the characters. Examine their motives, think about what they might be feeling when they make the decisions they do.

           Danganronpa is not the kind of game to spoon-feed you easy-to-swallow characters. You have to pick them apart yourself.

           As for everything Kokichi has ever said possibly being a lie? Maybe. Maybe every character is lying to you. But if you hate Kokichi just because he’s dishonest, then it follows that you have to hate Rantaro, Kaede, Shuichi, Kaito, Maki, Himiko, Kiyo, Miu, Tsumugi, Kirumi, and Kiibo—which, at that point, why are you even a fan of the game?

           And if you deny everything Kokichi said just because you think it’s a lie…

 In conclusion

           You can dislike Saiouma because it’s not your thing, but it’s wrong to spread hate over abuse that doesn’t exist. Hating and attacking people for having a different opinion than you won't magically sway them to your side. If you can't articulate your points in a way that doesn't antagonize, you probably shouldn't be talking. People like what they like for a reason, and spitting on what they like won't make you any friends.

           And throwing around weighted terms like “toxic” when you just don’t like something? That makes YOU the toxic one.

[myketheartista]

The Masquerade: How They Came To Be

This is a small headcanon type of thing that I thought of the morning after the stream, so I’m obviously obsessed with these two so much to the point where I made lore for how Sir Billiam and his butler met. To make things easier on myself, I just called the butler Ranboo since I didn’t want to mess too much with canon by giving him a new name. 

***Warnings: Light violence, mentions of killing/death, manipulation (from the egg, but just thought I’d include it just in case)***

**Please remember that this is not canon. I took some liberties and assumed a few things based on prior knowledge. Oh, and don’t take things out of context. This is NOT shipping, and I’m putting this here because I know some people will question the way I write them interacting. I don’t condone any shipping with Ranboo or Techno, and that goes for any and all characters they play.

Please enjoy! And leave your thoughts if you’d like :)

Billiam finds the egg. Builds the mansion around it to keep it safe and hidden because it seems like something bizarre enough that could earn him a good sum of money. Sell pieces of it, get rich, live a long, good life swimming in wealth.

He wants to see what it does too, but the more time he spends with it, the more corrupts his mind becomes. Soft whispers that scratch at the walls of his head, telling him to give-- give himself, give others, just give to the egg. And in the beginning stages, it isn’t so bad. He just sees the egg as something valuable. Value slowly transitions into a sort of obsession. He must protect it, feed it, take care of it so no one else will hurt it. If he helps the egg, it’ll help him.

So when he finds a young boy wandering through the endless sea of trees surrounding his estate, he grows a bit defensive. It’s just some random kid, an inch or two shorter than Billiam with messy chocolate brown hair and a dazed look in his eyes (Oh, and he’s definitely lower than a commoner, just look at the mess he is!). Tattered clothes, no shoes, patches of dirt dusting his face and hands; he’s an awful sight. But a peculiar one at best with the notable pointed ears and extra set of canines fitted snug next to the original pair. Whatever he is, Billiam knows that he isn’t a threat, and he can recognize that much through the fog clouding his brain telling him to get rid of this unwelcomed stranger. More than anything, he pities him, and a frown crosses his lips when he tries to get some answers out of the kid, but he’s met with a confused tilt of the head and awkward silence. Well, by observing his overall condition, Billiam concludes that he has no where to go.

So...he takes him in. Not because he cares! He really shouldn’t and doesn’t care for someone of such low status, but seeing Ranboo scarf down a whole plate of whatever Billiam could find along with some cake and a few glasses of water makes him feel a bit uneasy...about- about how much food he can eat, yes, of course. If he’s going to be staying here, he can’t go around eating everything they have. He’ll have to set some ground rules for this new guest. Such as throwing out those old clothes and giving him one of his own dress shirts and a well-made vest he never ended up wearing. Ranboo asks him for help with his tie much too often, and that’s something that should aggravate him, (inability to do anything on his own, how annoying) but he finds himself walking Ranboo through the process each time he’s called for. All the while, as he helps this kid learn the ropes and shows him around, those harsh whispers demand he stop. Get rid of him. He stares at Ranboo, the boy who can’t even speak the language of this planet, can’t remember where he came from, hates eye contact and taking showers, doesn’t even know what he is, and he wonders how the egg could even tell him to kill someone as innocent as him.

Billiam decides he’ll be his butler. Ranboo doesn’t protest since he doesn’t even know what a butler is, but he agrees without complaint. Some conversation over dinner that turned into a fake contract that neither of them signed, but Billiam made the deal that Ranboo can stay if he does his part which was simply obeying him when he asked for the butler. This...quickly got out of hand. Whenever there’s a party and a handful of guests crowd through the front doors, Billiam makes it known that he has a butler, and a very bad one at that. Calls him in that sing-song voice and requests he fetch their new arrivals some wine only to degrade him and claim he’s going a week without food afterwards. Ranboo really doesn’t mind, partially because he can’t even refuse or talk back due to the limitations of his knowledge of the unfamiliar language of this place, but he’s also become a bit dedicated to serving Billiam. The man practically saved his life and gave him everything he could want. When he is allowed to speak, he’s always asking how many words since that’ll guide him towards forming a more accurate sentence with letters and syllables he’s not used to. More often than not, he sticks to humming his responses to make it easier on himself. Even then, there’s not much to worry about. He’s bad with social interaction and the guests rarely pay attention to him, so he often hides in the corner as they all participate in their games and conversations regarding the economy. The more he excludes himself, the more he misses the frequent disappearances of the guests. He never questions Billiam where they went, why they left so early into the evening, why the mansion has terrible lighting problems, (they should get that fixed, it’s quite troublesome) he just enjoys the eventual peace and quiet that fills their home once everyone is gone. 

The parties increase throughout the months that Ranboo resides there. It’s exhausting being a butler when all he’s required to do is follow people’s orders-- how does Billiam do it? He’s the one who hosts them, greets everyone, plans the festivities and everything. He should ask him about that sometime. Instead of pestering him, he finds himself watching from the stairs as Billiam catches up with yet another group of friends. Hm...why doesn’t he just invite the same people over? Being rich must make you a lot of friends. But these people seem snobby and annoying. Ranboo doesn’t like them very much. He prefers to stay the way he is, and if that means he remains a “commoner”, then so be it. Billiam, on the other hand, doesn’t mind stepping into a new character every time he hosts one of these masquerades. The weird airy sound to his voice makes him appear friendlier, more trustworthy, but it always makes Ranboo put a fist to his mouth to stifle his laughter. It’s utterly ridiculous and almost childish, but it’s entertaining nonetheless.

He enjoys the soft conversations they share in their far too big of a home when things are back to normal (And when did he start calling it their home?). They usually pass the time by Ranboo asking questions and Billiam responding to the best of his ability which makes him seem smarter than he probably is. But for someone who can’t seem to remember where they came from or how to communicate, Ranboo is grateful for anything Billiam can give him.

So one night, when he thinks they’ve grown close enough to where Ranboo can consider them friends, he wanders the mansion to find Billiam-- wants to ask him something, but he’s nowhere to be found. It’s been months since he’s lived here, and he thinks he knows every nook and cranny of the mansion but…the longer he stares at that duplicate of a spider painting Billiam apparently commissioned someone to make despite the same painting hanging just a few feet over, he starts to feel an itch in the back of his mind. And when he finds the courage to move it aside, finds a secret entrance to a room he’s never seen before, he’s honestly baffled. The atmosphere of the room makes him feel off, and that itch starts to grow, manifests into a voice trying to peel through his thoughts and gain control. It makes him feel...uncomfortable…wrong. And when he sees Billiam standing at the end of the room, back facing him while he stares at a large red mass with vines trailing off of it, up the walls and across the floor tangling around Billiam’s feet, that discomfort shifts to something a little colder. He wanders into the room with light feet and a dry mouth, struggling to get his voice to work.

“Sir?”

The word doesn’t feel as foreign as other words do since it’s the one thing he’s gotten the hang of saying. He sees the visible tension build in Billiam’s shoulders and watches him turn around slowly to look at him, a chill trickling down his spine when he spots the sword in his hand. He gets no response, just a rather lifeless stare from Billiam. He speaks up again.

“Sir, what are you doing?”

It’s as if he was stuck in some sort of trance cause in an instant, a soft smile breaks out onto Billiam’s face and he gestures at Ranboo.

“What wonderful timing! Come closer, I’d like to show you something.”

Ranboo feels strange, but he pushes down the crippling sensation of dread pooling in his stomach and walks up to settle next to Billiam. He feels the light touch of a hand on his back, tensing up as he stares at the oddly shaped...something before them.

“What is this?”

Billiam looks so giddy when he hears the question.

“It’s the egg.”

And Ranboo breaks away from the “egg” to stare at Billiam.

“Pardon?”

Billiam looks at him, and it’s now that Ranboo notices the glint in his eye, the way his once brown irises swirl with red, and the look he gives him reminds him of the expression he wore when they first met.

Pity.

“My dear butler, it’s the egg! It’s a truly magnificent thing, is it not?”

And Ranboo can only stare awkwardly between the egg and the man who he’s lived with all of his life because what the hell is he going on about?

“I, uh,... I don’t seem to understand.”

Billiam’s expression softens, still holding that little ounce of pity that Ranboo has begun to dislike.

“You’ll understand soon enough. Come.”

And the hand on his back gently pushes him forward, guiding him as they walk, and Ranboo feels his heels involuntarily drag against the stone floor, putting up some resistance. That pool of dread begins to manifest into something else. An icy, prickling puddle of fear. Billiam is putting himself behind him as Ranboo draws closer to the egg, and the whispering only grows louder, clawing at his brain and sending a jolt of pain to his skull as it screams at him. It’s becoming too much, it hurts, but Billiam’s hand seems to latch onto the back of his vest, twisting and pushing him downwards just inches from the egg to where he’s on his knees and his hands are planted on the cold concrete below him. He realizes, as goosebumps trail up his arms and his eyes begin to sting, that he’s never quite felt fear before up until now. He doesn’t like it too much. All he can do is stare at the red in front of him, watch as the little vines underneath his hands sprout up from the cracks of the floor and curl around his fingers. The grip on his vest tightens, and he’s painfully reminded who’s doing this to him.

“Do you hear it?”

He just nods, exhaling shakily and struggling to take in any air as the panic settles inside of his chest.

“It’s loud.” He voice wavers as it comes out weak and afraid, and he hears Billiam hum, pleased with the answer.

“What’s it saying?”

And he can’t respond because he doesn’t know, it’s speaking a language he’s never heard, he can’t translate it. He feels the urge to hurt, to kill, to follow, to obey, feels fingers digging into his brain and pulling him forward as if he understands what it’s saying after all, but it all seems like gibberish to him. He feels nothing but everything at once. The grip on his vest tugs lightly, and he swallows thickly.

“I...I don’t know.” 

He can practically feel the disappointment radiating off of Billiam when he gives the answer, and he suddenly regrets saying anything at all. He hears Billiam shift and the grip loosens by just a hair.

“Is he not worthy?” Billiam mutters to himself, but…it sounds like it’s directed to someone. Some thing. Ranboo doesn’t know, but it’s said so quietly and sounds…sad. After a few seconds of silence and Ranboo watching those tiny red vines curiously curl even more around his fingers and onto his hand in an attempt to travel up his wrist, he feels the hand leave his back. A sigh escapes him, and he goes to push himself off of the ground to sit on his knees, but a sharp pain quickly replaces the hand, breaking through the layers of fabric and grazing the skin of his back. A strangled noise crawls out of his throat and he ducks his head, trying to arch his back away from the tip of the sword angled towards him.

“Sir?” He sounds so pathetic, so desperate, he doesn’t want to jump to conclusions but he feels like he’s about to be killed by the man who took him in and that’s certainly not settling well in his stomach. Billiam remains silent and that’s what scares him because silence doesn’t seem like a good thing, especially in a situation such as this. The silence lasts for what seems like minutes, but he hears a frustrated huff come from behind him and the sword disappears from his back right when he thinks it’ll slip through him.

“Stand up.”

Ranboo is quick to obey, ignoring the trembling in his legs and wringing his hands together to calm the light shaking that’s taken over them. He hesitantly turns to look at Billiam who’s staring back at him with those red eyes that seem a bit duller this time around. He wants to back away when Billiam moves towards him, but his feet refuse to move and a hand comes down on his shoulder, gentle and somewhat comforting despite the situation.

“You don’t feel anything?”

It seems like he’s desperate now, looking for an answer that will settle the uncertainty bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Brows furrowed, lips pressed into a thin line, and red eyes beginning to lose their glow. Somewhat back to normal. Ranboo pauses for a long moment, hesitant, terrified, legs shaking and throat closing up at the thought of what Billiam will do if he receives an answer he isn’t particularly fond of.

“...No.”

It takes his entire body to force the word out because even though he was on his knees moments ago, pleading that he’d wake up, that this was just a very intense dream where everything felt too real for his liking, somewhere deep down he believes Billiam won’t be mad and kill him right where he stands. That expression only reassures him because it’s coming from the only person he knows to trust.

Billiam sighs again and looks down, a bit defeated, maybe even confused because what is he to do now? He can’t even go through with sacrificing this kid he’s grown a damn attachment to and that’s a problem. If he isn’t the one to admit it, the egg is there to remind him. His hand slides down Ranboo’s arm, hanging limply by his side as his voice grows quiet.

“Do you trust me?”

And Ranboo doesn’t have anything else to say but the immediate “Yes.” that follows. Billiam looks up at him, a bit surprised but gaze a tad softer than it was before.

“What was your name again?”

Ranboo’s hands wring together some more, and he mindlessly picks at the vines that have embedded themselves into his skin. He goes to speak, but his tongue falls differently against the roof of his mouth and clicks against his teeth in a way that Billiam won’t understand. And even though that ends up being true, Billiam still smiles at him and a trickle of warmth spreads throughout Ranboo’s chest.

“Just do as I say, and you’ll be fine.”

Ranboo can’t find it in him to defy what Billiam says.

So when he gives him the sword and tells him to kill the guests that enter their home, he does so without question. He follows his commands as gentle as they are, and he listens to the garbled whispering brushing the edges of his mind. And if his eyes appear a bit redder when he goes to look in the mirror, he doesn’t bring it up to Billiam. He still picks at those little red vines that have melded into his skin as he watches the larger vines of the egg curl around the bodies he’s dragged to this secret room, hidden away from any curious eyes. And throughout the ruthless killings and Ranboo’s slow descent into madness, Billiam continues to treat him the same way, apologizing later on for the small scar on his back. He simply shrugs the apology off and gives him a smile, dragging…what was his name again? James? The name rings a bell, but he disregards the vague feeling of guilt crawling its way into his chest and continues to drag him away by the legs.

Even when he goes back to get Karl and sees the edges of his body disintegrating into little white speckles of what looks like dust, he doesn’t question it or show Billiam. Delivers his body to the egg regardless of whatever strange deterioration Karl’s body was undergoing. Another party, another meal for the egg. As long as Billiam is happy, so is his loyal butler.

[topazy]

Silent bloom

Pairings: Bellamy Blake/reader Finn Collins/reader

Warnings: Mentions of blood, and vomiting

Chapter: 1.12 (Bellamy’s pov)

1.02

"Cut it out!" Y/N snapped, which took me by surprise. She seemed so quiet. "The only thing that matters right now is finding Jasper! Bellamy, stop moaning. You’re coming with us and that’s the end of it."

"Excuse me?" I was irritated by her tone.

Y/N walked closer to me, with a look of disbelief on her face. "You want to lead? Then lead. You’re the only person here with a gun, and those kids out there won’t follow you unless you give them a reason to."

"She’s right." Clarke chimed in. "Because you want them to follow you and right now they’re thinking only one of us is scared."

"Fine."

I watched as the bossy girl froze just before she reached the camp gates. It seemed like she was telling Finn to get lost. The last thing I needed was any more drama in camp. I had a feeling the girl with the scarred eye would cause it.

—

"So how did you earn the nickname angel eyes?"

My ears perked up when I heard Murphy shamelessly trying to flirt with the girl walking beside him. It was hard to figure out if she was enjoying his attention or not. "The only person who calls me that is you, Murphy."

"How did you get the scar?" I listened in, as I was curious myself about how she got it.

"Fist fight in a bar. You should have seen the other guy." She had a dry sense of humor, "I fell and cut it."

"Can you see clearly out of it?" He asked, standing closer to her.

"Yes, and I know what you are doing!" She snatched her wrist back, laughing. Murphy just shrugged. "I’m not giving it to you, so you and your little king can stop trying."

I glared at Y/N when she turned around to face me. I had nothing to do with Murphy trying to take her bracelet off. It wasn’t my fault if he wanted to try and show off.

"Did you hear that?" Wells asked, "It sounds like a moaning pain."

"Jasper!" Y/N gasped before running off in the direction of the noise. "He’s over here!"

"Y/N wait!"

She didn’t listen to Wells. What a stupid girl. She was going to get herself killed. I watched as she suddenly disappeared. I lunged forward to see what happened to her. Y/N was hanging onto the grass to stop herself from being killed, "Help me up!"

"Y/N? Bellamy pull her up!" Finn yelled just as I grabbed hold of her wrist. Clarke and Murphy helped us pull her up.

Y/N landed on top of Finn before quickly rolling off him, and glared at me. "What the fuck was that about?! You almost got me killed!"

Clarke shook her head and stepped forward before she could reply. "This isn’t going to help. The grounders are setting traps to catch us. We all need to be more careful."

The ‘princess’ was right. Y/N continued to glare at me. Was it my fault? Did she think I was going to let her die? I didn’t care about her, but we needed all the bodies on earth we could get.

—

"Stay here, I'll be back shortly." I watched the girl curiously as she walked towards the fire pit.

"Hey, John?"

I was expecting Murphy to kick off at being called his first name, but he looked amused. "What?"

She held up her wrist, "fancy freeing me?"

"Anything for angel eyes," Murphy said, grinning.

I watched her pick up a stick of meat and head towards her previous spot, but Finn and Clarke stopped her. I couldn’t hear the full conversation, just bits of it. I didn’t get Finn’s obsession with her. I wondered if they knew each other on the ark. "Yes, I am aware of that. Now if you don’t mind, can you move out of my way?"

"Then tell me, why did you take it off?" Finn demanded, not moving out of her way.

"Some of us don’t want to get punched in the face...Plus, It was hurting my cut wrist."

Her comment didn’t bother me, but Finn bothering her did. Also, I felt slightly bad that she cut her wrist while we pulled her up. I was getting ready to intervene when she walked away from Finn and sat back down beside a young girl, and handed her food. She had taken off her own wristband to feed someone else. Not many people would have done that, not even me.

1.03

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Finn storming towards Y/N, or whatever her name was. "Is it true?" She ignored him, "Well! Is it?"

She shrugged, "I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m a little busy here, Finn, so if you don’t mind."

"Please tell me you didn’t spend the night with Murphy." I noticed how offended she looked by his accusation. "You are so much better than that Daze. Why would you do that? Don’t you have any self-respect?"

"At least Murphy is flying solo."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Clarke asked from behind him.

"Nothing... it means nothing." She turned to walk away when she caught me staring. It didn’t seem to phase her much as she turned back to throwing knives.

I waited until Clarke and Finn were gone before approaching her. Even if she had screwed Murphy, neither of them had a right to judge her. "Y/N right?"

"Yeah," she answered without taking her eyes off the target. "But I go by Daze or Daisy."

That made sense. It suddenly occurred to me that this was the same girl that my sister wouldn’t shut up about. Somebody with her aim would be good at hunting. I wondered if she would be interested in joining us. "Useful to know. You have a good aim. Any interest in killing?"

"I’m not leaving the camp until Jasper is better," she replied, "maybe next time."

"Do you hear that?" I asked. "He’s dying. Don’t get your hopes up."

She scoffed at my comment, "enjoy the hunting trip."

I left her alone to practice. I wasn’t pointing out the obvious to be cruel, I just needed people to be prepared for the worst. When Jasper dies, the rest of us will still need to go on living.

—

I noticed Daisy walking out of the drop-ship, which surprised me. I thought she would have been celebrating her friend surviving. "Hey, are you okay?"

"I just needed a moment... I’m sorry about Atom."

I stared down at the ground to avoid eye contact with her. The last thing I wanted was anybody to see me get upset over Atom. He was my friend who trusted me, and I had let him down. "I don’t think Octavia is feeling sorry for me."

"She’ll come around. She’s just upset. Give her time," Daisy said with a smile.

"I’m glad you never came hunting with us." I confessed out loud, "Like I said, you have a good aim. It would have been a shame to lose someone with such skills."

I could see a smile pulling at the corner of her lips. "Yeah, yeah. Goodnight Bellamy."

—

"Finn move aside," I snapped.

"I can’t do that."

I pushed him out of my way as I walked into Daisy’s tent. I had to see for myself if she was still alive. When she never came back with Wells, I decided to look for her and saw her laying on the ground with a knife in her stomach. I thought she was dead.

Kneeling down beside her bed, I noticed how fragile she looked. Clarke had worked a miracle by saving her.

"Bellamy, you need to leave now!" I stood up again, and faced Finn. I found it ironic that he only cared about Daisy after she almost died. "If Daze gets an infection, she will die. The more people she comes in contact with, the higher the risk."

"Whatever," I shoved past him. "When Octavia comes, you will let her in."

1.05

I had just disposed of the god-damn radio when I felt something bang into me. I was surprised to see a slightly confused Daisy standing behind me.

"Y/N, what are you doing out here?"

"Me and Clarke came looking for you."

Was she joking? Nobody had seen her in hours. If she wasn’t back by the time I returned, I was going to go look for her myself. If anything, it was to stop Octavia from going off on her own. "Looking for me? Octavia was worried sick when she couldn’t find you last night. Where the hell did you go?"

"Bellamy Blake? They’re looking everywhere for you."

Fuck. The brunette had survived. I should have made sure she was dead before I stole from her. As Clarke, Finn, and the new girl lectured me, I noticed how unusually quiet Daisy was. She didn’t seem interested.

—

"It’s no use, it’s gone."

Daisy rolled her eyes at me, "That’s not a good leader’s attitude."

"Guess I’m not a good leader then. You’re really not going to ask why I did it?" I was curious.

"It’s not my business." She shrugged. When Daisy removed her jacket, I noticed how badly her stomach was bleeding. She must have burst her stitches open.

"Hey," Raven said, stepping closer to her. "Your bleeding is pretty bad."

I stood awkwardly trying not to listen to the two girls' interactions. It was clear they didn’t like each other. I just wanted Daisy out of the water before she passed out.

—

"Hey, have any of you seen Octavia?"

Clarke shook her head. "No, I mean...it’s Octavia. She’s probably chasing butterflies."

Daisy frowned at the comment. I imagined she didn’t like Clarke’s attitude either. I thought back to the conversation I overheard with Daisy and Finn earlier, and wondered if she was looking for my sister because she needed a shoulder to cry on. It wouldn’t have surprised me. I couldn’t believe she was sleeping with Finn while leaving the rest of us to worry about her.

1.07

"What the hell, Bellamy? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Your aim is off."

"Thanks." She rolled her eyes and turned back to face the tree. "Don’t you have anything better to do than sneak up on me?"

I probably shouldn’t have walked up to someone holding a deadly weapon without making my presence known beforehand. I couldn’t tell by her tone if she was mad at me as well. "Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things."

"Seriously Blake?" She scrunched up her nose, "A line like that might work on others, but not on me."

Daisy walked over to the tree and let out a whine when she pulled the knife out. I rushed over to her and grabbed her hand, concerned she’d cut herself on the knife's edge. I was relieved to see it was just a small splinter in her hand, "It’ll push itself out."

"I know that...I just can’t quit thinking about how painful it must have been for Finn."

I stared blankly at her. I couldn’t get my head around the fact that she cared for the spacewalker so much, especially when he took her for granted. It was obvious that she cared about him more than herself. Hell, she even burst her own stitches while having sex with him.

"You got stabbed in the stomach," I pointed out. She shrugged. Daisy hadn’t been able to look at me since we brought the grounder back to camp. "I’m not sorry we saved Finn, but I am sorry for what you saw me do."

"Are you ready to go?" Clarke asked, walking towards me. I nodded in response. She turned to face Daisy. "Daze, Finn was asking for you."

Of course he was. I was going to ask Daisy if she wanted to join us while looking for weapons, but I knew she’d never come with Finn wanting her attention. "You better go run off and find him then."

She smiled at us, "be safe out there."

As she walked away, Clarke stood beside me, saying, "You didn’t ask her, did you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Good question. "We are better off with just us two. She would have slowed us down."

Clarke leaned into me, "you know, that was a very fake smile she just gave us."

1.09

As we walked towards the gates, I noticed movement outside camp. We slowed down until we got a better look. Clarke suddenly ran over to the couple, "Daisy!"

On closer inspection I could see why she ran over to them. Daisy was violently throwing up. Clarke held her hair back while she continued to vomit. "What’s wrong with her? Is she the only one sick in camp?"

Finn shook his head, "She was just high for the first time."

"What?" I snapped.

Finn shrugged, "Yeah, most of the camp is high. They ate some bad nuts, I guess."

Clarke continued to rub Daisy’s back, saying, "Bellamy, I'm going to take Daze back to her tent, then I'll meet you in the drop-ship."

I frowned at Finn, who seemed to find the situation amusing. "Grounders are out here," his smile faded. "You’re just lucky you didn’t get her or yourself killed."

—

I noticed Daisy finally emerging from her tent. She looked slightly better than the night before, but still hellish. "Hey, you good?"

"Yeah, I’m good. Enjoying unity day?"

I pointed towards the rest of camp, "somebody needs to be sober while the rest have fun."

She chuckled, "Everyone deserves to have some fun, even you Blake."

She had a point, but my idea of fun would be different from hers. Although I found myself tired of sleeping with a different girl every night, they all bored me once the sex was over. "I’ll have fun when the grounders come."

"Dark as always," she laughed.

I smiled, "you look a lot better than when I last saw you."

The moment the words left my mouth, Daisy’s face turned red. I had accidentally embarrassed her. I gulped down before changing the subject, "What did you get arrested for anyway?"

I noticed she wasn’t listening to me by the way she was watching something else, "It’s Finn."

I tried my best not to groan. I honestly didn’t understand what was so special about bloody Finn. He had Raven, Daisy, and Clarke wrapped around his finger. I doubt he cared that much about any of them. Lost in my thoughts, I almost missed Daisy going to leave camp. "Where do you think you’re going?"

"To get Finn, he’ll get killed out there on his own."

"So could you." I paused for a moment before letting out a sigh of defeat. I could tell by the look on her face that she was going after him regardless of what I said. "I’ll come with you."

"No...Somebody needs to stay here in case the grounders do turn up. If I can’t see where he went past the tree-lines, I’ll come back."

I clenched my jaw with frustration. I didn’t like this one bit. "Fine. But if you are gone too long, I’m sending out a search party."

—

"Bellamy?"

"So much for staying in the tree lines," I frowned.

Daisy rolled her eyes as she pulled me into my tent. Was this really happening? Was she trying... "Whatever, look, Finn set up a meeting with the grounders to call a truce."

"He did what?" Finn had quickly gone from being a little annoying to a real pain in my ass. He was going to get himself killed. I just hoped when that happened he didn’t drag anybody else down with him.

"We spoke to Lincoln... the grounder who stabbed him. He’s going to set up a meeting between our people and his. Finn and Clarke are getting ready to leave."

I stepped closer to her so I could speak in a lower voice, "Why are you looking for me then?"

She seemed nervous the closer I got to her. Her lips parted slightly as she looked up at me. "I’m going to follow them, and you’re coming with me."

"Anyone ever told you that you have a bossy side?" I preferred the bossier side of her.

"We should wait five minutes," she answered, ignoring what I said. "Finn doesn’t know that we are following them."

"Why not?"

She knotted her fingers together, and looked down at the ground. I made a mental note to remember she did that when she was lying. "Because Lincoln told us not to take any weapons, and I don’t agree with him. But Finn does. We are going to be their backup."

I didn’t see the point in arguing with her when it was already happening. "Okay, I think we need one more person to come with us."

1.10

"Not now Finn, we don’t have time for this. The grounders are coming and arguing among ourselves is exactly what they want. " I watched Finn’s face twist with anger when Daisy butted in. I just hoped he was smart enough not to say anything back to her. "I’m going for a walk. You guys are giving me a headache. Murphy better be alive when I get back."

"Seems I’ve got a fan club starting in camp Bellamy. Who knows, maybe she likes me more than you." Murphy said before spitting out blood.

"Go float yourself."

"Happily," he scoffed. "But I don’t imagine angel eyes being too happy when she finds out you’ve killed me." Finn stormed out of the drop-ship, mostly likely to go look for Daisy. "Looks like I’ve upset her boyfriend. My bad."

"They aren’t together," I snapped.

A look of amusement spread across his face. Being covered in blood only made him look more sinister. "Ohh... I see what it is."

"What are you talking about?" I mentally slapped myself for even entertaining Murphy. I should just kill him before he hurts anybody else.

"You care for her... and she’s in love with spacewalker."

I glared at him, "Shut the fuck up."

"Don’t worry Bellamy, I’ll keep it our little secret. For now."

—

"Bellamy, you're sick, okay? I'm just trying to help. Here."

If it wasn’t for the fact that I was so weak, I would have flung Murphy across the room by now. "When I get better, if you're still here--" I frowned when I saw Daisy walking towards us. The last time I saw her, she was throwing up blood. "Why are you up? You should be resting."

"I’ve got this one Murphy," she smiled and took the cup from his hand. "Thanks for saving my life and all that."

When she sat down next to me, I noticed the way Murphy looked at her before leaving. "What are you now? His best friend? After-"

“Murphy is an ass," she cut me off. "But he never hurt me, and I believe in second chances."

I took a drink of water before she started wiping some of the blood off my face. Daisy suddenly stopped and squinted at me, "something you want to talk about?"

"You and Finn-" I was cut off by a loud noise from outside the ship. I sat up as Clarke ran into the room, "They did it."

"I became death, a destroyer of worlds. It's Oppenheimer, the man who built the first-"

"I know who Oppenheimer is."

"Who cares about him?" Daisy shrugged. "I want to know what the hell caused the explosion."

"Raven..." I glanced down at her. "I thought O told you? Raven and Finn went to blow up the bridge to slow the grounders down."

It was worrying that Daisy couldn’t remember. I was honestly surprised she was still alive by this point. Between being stabbed and catching the virus, I’d say she was very lucky to be with us. Daisy must have noticed me staring because she was frowning, "I’m sure they are fine."

Looking back out of the drop-ship, I sighed. We would need to wait to see if the grounders got scared off or not.

1.11

"Like that star of the waning summer who, beyond all stars, rises bathed in the ocean stream to glitter in brilliance." I saw Daisy sitting on her own again and thought I’d give her some company. "I thought your post finished hours ago?"

"It did," she shrugged. "I like being out here at night. The sky looks beautiful from down here."

I never would have guessed she would have enjoyed stargazing, this girl was full of surprises. "I suppose it does."

"You suppose? It’s the most amazing sight in the world. I honestly have no idea why people used to use drugs to live in a distorted reality, when the earth is just-" I could not help but smile at the way she talked about the sky. It was the first real conversation we had that didn’t involve anybody else. "What?"

"Nothing," I shook my head, smiling. "I’ve just never heard you talk so passionately about something that wasn’t to do with your friends."

"You don’t know me very well, Blake."

I knew much more than she thought. The girl with the scarred face was much more interesting than I first thought. "You're a good shot. We have the same taste in books, and you don’t know who Oppenheimer is."

"Touché, I’m guessing you’ve read the Iliad a few times then?" I nodded, "How do you know we have the same taste in books?"

"Octavia has mentioned it,” I lied. I had heard Monty and Daisy talking one night about books they liked to read on the ark, but I wasn’t going to admit I listened in on their conversation.

I noticed her shaking slightly. She was cold. I removed my jacket and placed it on her back. "Thanks..."

"No problem."

Sitting with Daisy was nice. It didn’t feel awkward when there was silence between us, although I wouldn’t have minded talking a little more. But I didn’t want to force her to spend time with me.

"So this Oppenheimer, who is he?"

—

"Bellamy!" I heard Daisy call out. Before I had a chance to finish getting dressed, she barged into my tent. "Bellamy I-"

"Daisy, what the hell happened?" I asked her. I stepped out in front of her when she tried to walk away. She was covered in blood and had an arrow sticking out of her leg. "Daisy, what happened out there?"

"Grounders attacked us."

Raven stepped out of my tent, "Finn... is..."

“Myles got hit with a few arrows. I don’t know if he’s dead or not. They took Clarke and Finn.I have no idea where they went."

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I didn’t miss the look of disgust on Daisy’s face or the way she pulled away from me when I reached out to her. I had no reason to feel guilty, but I did.

—

"I never told him."

I stopped when I reached the outside of Daisy’s tent. "Told who what?"

"I lied to Finn. I told him I tripped and fell, I’m only telling you so you don’t mention it later on."

I stepped back. We wouldn’t be ready to leave for a couple of minutes, so I didn’t need to interrupt them just yet. My opinion of Daisy was always changing. I thought she would have been a spoiled brat when I met her, and assumed she got her scar in a pointless fight, but now... now I know she was a good person. She lied for Raven even when it caused her so much pain. She would do anything for her friends, including Octavia. Maybe Murphy was right, maybe I was starting to care for her.

1.13

"Bellamy!" I looked up to see my sister barging into my tent. She looked worried. "I haven’t seen Daisy!"

"Okay," I shrugged. "She’s probably in her tent or the drop-ship. You know she can’t go far until her leg heals."

"She’s not there! I’ve checked with Jasper and Finn. Neither of them have seen her all day. I’ve checked everywhere bell!"

Shit. This was bad. People didn’t just disappear from camp. Unless the grounders take them, or worse. "When did you last see her?"

"She was going to Wells' grave. She had found some flowers to put down."

"Octavia, go get Clarke and meet me at the drop-ship in two minutes."

We didn’t have time for a search and rescue with the grounders closing in on us, but I was sure as hell not leaving Daisy out there to die.

[peppersonironi]

Duke Thomas/The Signal Fic Recs

This is for @capttain-emo who saw me reblog this wonderful rec list by @stories-from-the-batcave , and asked if I knew any more. (I highly recommend those, btw, I love all the fics on that list! Yes, that includes the one I wrote in there) Duke Thomas is my favorite Batfam member, so I have a bunch! Unfortunately, there isn’t as much Duke content out there as I’d hope - people just don’t seem to like him as much for some reason? It’s sad. So, there are gonna be a couple here written by me. Rest assured, I have way more Duke content on the way - including a WIP coming out this week! (Ao3 linked out at the top of my blog)

I love recommending Fics, so hit me up in my inbox if there’s a trope or character or relationship (platonic or not) that you’d really love to read! I also write fan fiction, and my requests are always open!

1. Siblings: The Truth of the Matter by Me!

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & his siblings

Duke had a strange family. Two of his siblings had been raised from birth to be assassins. One was born in a circus. One had been a crime lord for a time. Yet another was the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company by the age of seventeen. All of them dressed up in spandex every night to punch bad guys.

So when he was woken up by icy water being splashed in his face, tied to a chair in nothing but his boxers, he wasn't surprised. Now, that's not to say he wasn't worried. Duke was definitely worried. Especially since it was these two.

AKA Duke gets tied up and questioned by his siblings, all while drugged with Truth Serum!

2. Bliss by Me!

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Damian

Duke walks in on a sleeping assassin child in need of comfort, and takes a chance. Brotherly bonding ensues!

3. An ever growing family of birds and bats by alicecrow6

Rating: General Audiences/Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Damian

a series of Batkids Age Reversal fics where Damian comes first, then Harper, then Duke and so on.

4. look at me, all the things I can do by Aelig  

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Cass, Duke & Bruce

"Duke took a bite of his toast, gaze still on Bruce. His foster father was sipping at his coffee, eyebrows frowning. To an outsider, you would think he was reading the morning news on his tablet, like always; Duke knew better. Bruce's look was a little away from the screen, his lips downward.

It was almost funny, to watch Bruce internally panic."

OR: It's the morning, and Duke is going back to school for the first time since his injury.

5. The Batchair(s) Issue by NightFlier

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen w/ background ships Relationships: Duke & Cass, Duke & Steph, Steph/Cass Trio & Batfam

Duke Thomas feels like an outsider, and not just because he's part of the new Outsiders team roster. He's the newest member of the legendary Batclan and hasn't yet formed the close bonds that the others share. Not to mention, he's the only active Meta on the team. As if it wasn't hard enough to relate with people with such colorful, unique backgrounds.

But it's okay! Duke has a plan and it'll probably work for a while before crashing & burning. BatShenanigans ahead.

6. All That Glitters is Gold (Unfortunately) by IndefiniteIceCube

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Tim, Duke & Steph

The world is gold and Duke can't breathe.

He can't breathe.

He was sitting in AP World History just a minute ago.

Was it a minute ago? It seemed like a minute ago but it could have been hours because all he can focus on is that he can’t breathe. His lungs won’t fill and- and he’s trying he swears but he just. can’t. breathe.

And the gold—

-----

Duke's powers emerge.

It doesn't go well.

7. Be the Light that Helps Others See by Ace_Corvid @ace-corvid

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

Duke didn't really know what to expect from movie nights with the Bats.

He could only assume they approached this with the same determined intensity as they approached everything else. They were all so extra it was like their gauge for normal was completely broke. He wasn't really prepared for this.

And yet here he was. Surrounded.

(Alternatively; Batkid's have a movie night.)

8. I've Made a Million Mistakes by Sohotthateveryonedied

“Y’all need Jethuth.”

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

“Don’t worry,” Dick says, throwing his arm around Duke’s shoulders. “Everyone in this room has had their teeth knocked out at one point or another. It’s a rite of passage around here.”

“I don’t know how to tell you thith, but that doethn’t happen to normal people. We acthually prefer to keep our teeth, believe it or not.”

“Wait until you get your first major battle scar. Trust me, they’re cool.”

“Y’all need Jethuth.”

9. Children (All of Them) by TheFalconWarrior

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

In which Tim is not stupid but Jason might just be, Damian is furious, Dick kind of feels like he should be doing…something, Steph is ecstatic, and Duke wonders how long he can survive.

10. In the Dark of the Night by Aelig

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Jason, Batfam

"Duke was woken up by someone sliding into his bed. Someone big judging by how the mattress shifted.

Because Duke was a well-trained vigilante, his first reflex was obviously to kick whoever was being creepy right now and push them out of his bed.

It was only when the someone landed on the floor with a yelp that Duke realized that he was at Wayne Manor, which was incredibly secure – normally. He could recognize the voice, too."

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: none

OR: The Batfam and their way to deal with nightmares.

11. Welcome to the Family by angstyelephant

In which Duke Thomas goes back to the beginning.

12. Family-- by incorrectbatfam

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & batfam

“Your assignment over the weekend is to write a poem about your family.”

13. I'm Still Climbing(Even When the Rest Have Fallen) by anidear

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Dick, Duke & Damian

After his first exposure to the Fear Toxin, Dick checks in on Duke.

14. The cat and the newcomer by Fleur_de_Violette

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Alfred the Cat

Duke always found people talking to their pets about their problems silly. And yet here he was.

15. Duke-napped by NightOwl1600

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & batfam

The others don’t really bother Duke with his business. They all care about him, he knows, but outside of the vigilante business, they don’t really care to ask aside from the typical “How was school?” or “Can you buy me some chilidogs after you’re done with whatever you’re doing?” So he’s a bit concerned if they’ll even notice when he’s been kidnapped as Duke Thomas, Bruce Wayne’s newest ward. But he’s not about to panic; as the others seem to be so determined that traumatizing new experiences are part of Bat-initiation.

Meanwhile, the rest of the family freaks out because “Did anyone go over the do’s and don’ts of getting kidnapped with Duke?!”

16. Nightmare/Hallucination by FearfulKitten @fearfulkittenwrites

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Jason

Duke found himself staring at the ceiling again. His heart was no longer racing, but he wouldn’t exactly say that he was calm either. This is the moment after the end of a race you lost, when all of the adrenaline is starting to wear off and the hopelessness sets in. That’s it. You’re out of the competition, buddy.

Except that this isn’t a race, and Duke hasn’t just lost his spot for the finals. He had simply lost sleep.

17. Jason Todd, Big Brother Part 8792 by Gemini_00

Rating: General Audiences Category: Other Relationships: Duke & Jason, Duke & Damian

Robin and the Signal sneak along the Outlaws mission in order to steal a bazooka and hang out with Kori. Jason has to deal with two little brothers and feeding a team of outlaws. He's putting this on Bruce's credit

18. "What's wrong? What's happening?" By FearfulKitten @fearfulkittenwrites

Rating: General Audiences Category: Other Relationships: Duke & Tim

Duke runs into trouble during his daytime patrol, and ends up needing some back up. The resident over-productive insomniac bat picks up the call.

(A little bit of and Duke interaction for a nice tumblr Anon :) I hope you like it!)

19. Nightmares by FearfulKitten @fearfulkittenwrites

Rating: Teen Category: Other Relationships: Duke & Dick

Filling the nightmare square on my bingo card with the help of an anon on tumblr who asked for a fic where Duke has a nightmare and asks for the help of one of the older batboys!

"Duke checked the time again. Two minutes had passed.

Time was ticking too slowly. He was tired, but sitting alone in the dark was definitely not a good idea right now.

He’d have to ask for help."

20. Brothers in Arms by TheFalconWarrior

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam

...possibly against each other. Batkid prank wars are the worst.

Duke is learning. Tim is evil. So is Damian. Dick is embarrassing. Jason is dramatic. Steph is brave. Babs is all-knowing. Cass wants in. Alfred is a little amused, and Bruce is so. Tired.

21. First rule of Robin, right? By ALzzza

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Damian,Duke & Dick

"Nothing’s going to hurt you—you got that, nothing.”

Duke doesn’t have anything better to do but it’s not like that matters. Hell, he’d drop everything and run—always in time to catch this little bird.

Or, Damian’s Been Having Nightmares, Duke To The Rescue—Dick Always With The Reassurance

22. Duke's Diary by fiery_day

 Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam,Duke & Dick

This is a couple of journal entries by Duke as he learns to become Signal. He relates his thoughts on the batfamily and aspects of the vigilante life he now leads.

23. Significance of a Gala by nxttime

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Batfam,Duke & Jason, Duke & Tim

This year’s Wayne Gala would be Duke’s first, and he had no clue how to feel about it.

 25. The cloud that looks after each other by Batmango

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & Goliath

Duke wakes up the Bat cave after a fight with the Joker.

For MashpotatoeQueen5 as a thanks for using so many of my prompt in the excellent January Jot-Downs.

Prompt: a hurt comfort after an injury/illness? Or just cuddles. I love me some cuddles.

26. The One You’ll Know By by Redrikki

Rating: Teen Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Bruce & Alfred

After losing his memory, Bruce asked Alfred not to tell him about his vigilante life, but he's beginning to think his butler left a few other things out. Like, say, his kids.

27. Duke Thomas Hates Bullies by Gemini_00

Rating: Unrated Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Steph, Duke & Tim, Duke & Bruce, Duke & Damian

Everyone loves that Duke Thomas isn't like all those other crazy Waynes. Everyone loves that the Signal isn't trying to get himself killed. Duke may not see Bruce as his dad, but he is definitely part of the bat family. and nobody is going to bully his family. Or, Duke Thomas Kicks Ass.

28. batman is dancing to fortnight and this might as well happen because vigilante life is already so *Goddamn* weird (Duke Thomas: A Memoir) by MashpotatoeQueen5

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & Batfam

You may not have time to unpack all that, but Duke Thomas does.

(He doesn't get it either.)

(He loves his new crazy family nonetheless.)

29. In a World Where You Can Be Anything, Be Kind by RedHoodie1723

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Bruce, Duke & Batfam

Day Six of Batfam Week 2020: Take Your Child To Work Day

It was Duke's first time visiting Wayne Enterprises, and he couldn't help but be intrigued by the Martha Wayne Foundation.

30. You’re My Brother by blackpercy

Rating: General Audiences Category: Gen Relationships: Duke & Dick

Duke's missing his parents a lot and Dick comes in to help his little brother.

And that’s it for the list! I hope you enjoy these thirty works! Once again, send me an ask if you have requests for fics, recs, or if you have general questions!