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haileygarciasunshine · 4 years

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Soft as Silk

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Fem!Reader

Written: December 22nd, 2020

Posted: December 22nd, 2020

Warning: None

Word Count: 1,000

Requested: Yes! @kpopgirlbtssvt Hii!! (This is a lot omg, let me know if it’s too detailed!) Can I please request a Sweet Pea x shy/quite!innocent!fem!reader where when the Serpents first go to the Northside school, at some point during the school day, Sweet Pear hears soft music (a violin) and he’s curious, so he follows it. Which leads him right outside the orchestra room, where he sees Y/N (for the first time as she’s really shy and doesn’t talk to many people), by herself, playing her violin. Awhh and she would so blush when she sees him (through the window on the door) watching her play, but shyly smile too. She doesn’t hold the same beliefs as the other Northsiders do, she’s actually kind and accepting to all the Southsiders. They get closer and closer and their relationship eventually develops into boyfriend and girlfriend. Sweet Pea would be soft for her and veryyyy protect and the other Serpents would be as well. The Northsides (especially Archie and Reggie) would be shook lol. I honestly love the “opposites attract.”

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A/N: I loved writing this, especially because it was a Violin reader request! I used to play Violin all through school, I even won competition medals and even got my Letterman’s Jacket Letter from playing Violin in high school. Even though I haven’t played since, I still enjoy listening to orchestra music, if you’re like me I suggest listening to Lindsey Sterling, she’s great with her electric violin. Okay I’m done ranting lol. I also included a lot of the things I did / experienced. Like having to take a music class to graduate, swaying as playing the violin. ect.

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Sweet Pea Masterlist

Walking into Riverdale high, you gripped your Violin case handle just a little tighter. The Southside High students would be attending classes today as they transferred to the Northside school.

Everyone seemed to be a little on edge since the announcement of the merge. Reggie seemed to be a little angrier since then, as well as Archie. They had both been your friends since you could remember. Both guys were often very protective over you since you were shy and didn’t have a lot of friends. It seemed like an odd friendship as an outsider looking in.

As you walked through the hallways, you made your way to the Orchestra room. Nobody would be in the classroom until at least the third or fourth period, which allotted you enough time to play to your heart's content.

Shutting the door, you let out a content sigh. The overwhelming feeling of home washed over you. The Orchestra room, was your home away from home since you were always there practicing.

Opting for a change of scenery, you decided to take a seat in the back row. Grabbing your sheet music, you placed it on the stand in front of you. Turning towards your case, you had placed it on the chair beside you. Opening the case, you pulled your bow out before tightening it ever so slightly, then you grabbed your rosin and began moving it up and down on your bow.

Once you were satisfied with the amount of rosin on your bow, you pulled your violin out, placing the shoulder rest on it then placing it on your shoulder. Angling your head you held the Violin between them. Reaching underneath the violin you began twisting the tuning pegs, allowing you to tune your violin.

After tuning, you felt as though you were ready to begin playing. You glanced at the key before checking the tempo. Placing your bow on the strings you began moving your fingers to hit the notes. Losing yourself in the music you began to sway slightly as you played.

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As Sweet Pea entered the Northside school, he couldn’t help but have a foul mood. He hated the North siders and now he would have to go to school with them. Luckily, he had his closest friends beside him to help him get through the day.

Naturally, they arrived late to school. Walking towards their assigned lockers, they placed their belongings in them before making their separate ways toward their respected classrooms.

Sweet Pea grumbled to himself as he made his way towards the Choir room. Each student was required to take some sort of music class to graduate. The soft sound of instrument melody filled his ears.

Glancing around the hallway, he was alone which allowed him to follow the sweet melody. The music led him straight to the orchestra room. There he gazed through the window and saw an innocent looking girl playing her violin.

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Losing yourself in the music, you continued playing until you felt the sensation of somebody watching you. Glancing towards the door, you saw a guy with a black leather jacket gazing at you.

You could feel heat rising in your cheeks as you locked gazes with him. Normally, you weren’t one to play for an audience, however, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop playing.

As you gazed at each other, you didn’t miss the blush that made its way to his cheeks nor did you miss the soft smile he sent you.

The sound of a bell interrupted your moment, as it signaled the end of class and the start of a new class.

Sighing, you broke the gaze you shared and begun putting away your violin. Once you were finished, you held onto a small inkling of hope that he would be waiting for you. As you exited the orchestra room, you glanced around only to see the mysterious serpent nowhere in sight.

“There you are!” Reggie exclaimed throwing his arm around your shoulders. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I should’ve known you’d be in the music hallway.”

You rolled your eyes, before shrugging off his arm. “You should’ve looked there first, that’s where I always am.”

“Clearly.” Reggie scoffed. “Come on, you don’t want to be late for next period.”

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The rest of the day, your mind was clouded with the thought of the mysterious guy from this morning. You couldn’t help but think back to the intimate moment you shared. It was a moment you hadn’t shared with anyone before.

In one of your classes, you were sitting beside Tony and Fangs. They were quick to introduce themselves to you. A grin made it’s way to your face as you had become friends with some of the South siders.

“This is, Sweet Pea.” Fangs spoke introducing you to the guy you had seen earlier in the day.

“Nice to meet you, Sweet Pea, I’m Y/N.” You grinned shaking his hand.

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Since that day, you had developed a close bond with the younger Serpents. It was rare that you were seen without one or all by your side. They had taken you under their wing and protected you as their own.

You and Sweet Pea began developing a close bond. He would often skip classes, to spend time listening to you play your violin in the orchestra room. Fireworks always seemed to erupt in your stomach anytime he was near you. “What is he doing with her?” Archie questioned as he stared daggers at the sight of you and Sweet Pea walking through the halls.

“I don’t know man.” Reggie shrugged. “It’s crazy that they excepted her into their group.”

“This is Y/n,” Toni spoke introducing you to FP.

Fangs had convinced you somehow to hang out with the younger serpents at the wyrm.

“Hi.” You shook his hand, as your voice came out meek and meager.

“Ah, so she’s the North sider you’ve all been talking about.”

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#sweetpeaimagine #sweet pea imagine #riverdale #riverdale imagine #riverdale imagines #riverdaleimagines #riverdaleimagine #sweet pea #sweet pea imagines #sweetpeaimagines #sweet pea x reader #sweetpeaxreader #requestedimagine #requested imagine #jordan conner #jordanconner

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 4 years

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There is a light at the end of the tunnel

Hello, Stuck. Sorry, I don’t know your real name.

I wrote this long ass post to bring some light into the fandom and between the CSs, and I hope you can post it? I’m new in the Tumblr world, but not in the 5H fandom. I don’t quite know how it works yet and, for the moment, I only know your blog and those of @emisonme, @karlaswine, @sun-to-my-luna, @underthatimpression, and @mentesimploria because, in one way or another, you’re all connected to each other. I just wanted to tell you guys how much I appreciate every single one of you, the passion you have, and the hope you keep alive among those who, like me, love the girls. Also, the patience you guys have, especially against the haters, is admirable. I love the fact that you keep going. Because this is your sacred place, as it should be.

This is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. I’m what can be defined as a ‘silent fan’. I never commented on anything in the girls’ posts, not even on the fan accounts I follow. I don’t have Twitter. I have Facebook but it’s like I don’t have it because I don’t use it. I have Wattpad (obviously). I recently registered here on Tumblr, and I have Instagram. That’s what I use. It’s the only app along with YouTube that I use daily to keep up with the rest of the world. Especially the American part of the world. I’m Italian, but I speak American English well, and I apologize in advance if my lazy ass hasn’t noticed possible grammatical errors. I saw that a lot of you are into this stuff, so I thought I’d add it just because. I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Virgo rising.

I’m gonna turn 29 on December 22, and this is a BIG fuck off to all the people who have attacked you lately for your age. This is personal information that I give freely to make ignorant and small-minded people understand that, in this context especially, age is irrelevant. As you, little fucker who hides behind a computer to attack people just to feel stronger, have a life, we have it too. Like you, we have a life, a job, friends, etc. We also have passions. Passions that yes, my dear haters, also include shipping people. I don’t know why in your stupid brain we’re too old to ship people we love and to give opinions about it. I didn’t know it was something reserved only for those who still smell like mommy’s milk. But anyway…

I became aware of 5H existence just before summer 2015 thanks to ‘Worth It’. Being Italian, however, I had no idea who they were, and to be honest, I didn’t go searching for them. Randomly one day then, I ran into Camren on YouTube. I can’t remember which video I was watching, but I know for sure it was about ‘Heya/Brittana’ (Heather Morris and Naya Rivera/Brittany and Santana, my very first hard LGBT ship). And among the suggested videos, there they are. As ridiculous as it sounds, and although I liked them as soon as I saw them, I didn’t go searching for them. I did it when ‘Work from Home’ came out though. From there, I connected that they were the same ‘Worth It’ group and the same two girls I liked from those YouTube videos. I had officially become a fan. I was screwed. Screwed because, I’d officially entered one of the most messed up and yet most beautiful fandoms ever.

As I initially said, this is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. But after the recent events, seeing how many people gave up, it made me a little angry and gave me the strength to speak for the first time. I thought the first time would’ve been through the fanfiction I’ve been working on for over two years, but no. Lauren and her beautiful mouth had to terrorize, disappoint, panic, and make angry 80% of CS, thus fueling the hatred of all the other fandom towards us. So I decided to speak now. Maybe, just maybe, this very long ass post of mine is gonna help struggling CS. Maybe, just maybe, it’s gonna make them reason and bring them to their senses.

So. This, as I think you’ve understood, is about Lauren and what she said in the podcast. This is a reminder of the Laucy situation. These are things we already know and that I want to remind you of because apparently, my lovely fellows CS, either you have a short-term memory, or Lauren has the power to create amnesia in people’s minds and I knew nothing about it. Surely this power of hers didn’t work on me and a few others.

Oh and, before starting: 1) You may disagree with me. It’s normal to have different opinions. 2) You can search for information such as dates, easily on the internet. 3) I’m gonna use nicknames on PRs for fun. That doesn’t mean I hate them. I have my reasons for dislike each one of them as people, but I can assure you it has nothing to do with the fact that they were or are the Camren beards. An example to make you understand what I mean is Ty. I’m a huge Ari fan and I’ve been listening to ‘safety net’ non-stop for two days straight. I really dislike Ty as a person, but I separate the art from the artist.

Okay, that said, I can start.

Lauren said: “I knew I was queer because I fell in love with my best friend when I was like 15.” – “Her and I started to have a physical connection when I was 15.”

Lauren and Lucid Vivisectionist met when L moved to Carrollton in 7th grade. Lucille moved back to Puerto Rico in February 2012, returning to visit Miami occasionally (this explains the fetus pictures with Lucy and Camren at L’s house). In February 2012, Lauren was 15, Camila 14, and Lucy 16. And who did Lauren meet when she was 15? Oh yeah, Camila. C and L did the first phase of the audition, the ‘cattle call’, on May 1, 2012 in Greensboro, North Carolina. Audition where Camila took courage to speak at the (“Oh my God that girl is) literally so beautiful” girl from which she felt intimidated by starting that adorable brief conversation “Hi, I like your shirt”, “Thanks. I like your jacket” just before it was her turn to get in for her audition. In May 2012, Lauren and Camila were both 15 years old. Lauren and Camila saw each other again for the first time on July 25th, two months later, in Miami on the first day of boot camp, and it was Lauren herself who went to Camila: “You’re the Cuban girl!”. In July 2012, Lauren was 16 and Camila was 15.

Lauren said: “She came back into my life when I was 18. I was on tour and I was in my room in a hotel somewhere, and she called me.” Let me explain to you why I think this is true.

Lauren and Luxy reconnected with each other after Lucy’s car accident that took place on May 15, 2015. Lauren was really 18 in May 2015, and we can rule out The Reflection Tour dates because it started on February 27, 2015, and ended April 6, 2015. We can also rule out these other show dates that 5H did: April 11 in Jackson Township, New Jersey - April 13 at Live! with Kelly and Michael in New York - April 19 Lauren was at Coachella with Keana, Britt, and other friends - April 22 at the Worldwide Radio Summit in Hollywood - April 25 at Radio Disney Music Awards 2015 in Los Angeles - May 8 at Channel 93.3 Summer Kickoff 2015 in Chula Vista, San Diego - May 9 at Wango Tango 2015 in Carson, Los Angeles (May 9, rumors about Camila and Louis Tomlinson just because paparazzi believed they were together when Louis was actually together with Liam outside the Project Club L.A., and C who was at the club next door) - May 15 at KDWB Radio Show in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The rest of their program and possible date: May 16 at Kiss Concert 2015 in Mansfield, Massachusetts - May 19 at Dancing with the Stars in Los Angeles - May 30 at G-A-Y in London (rumors about Lauren and Louis Tomlinson this time, born because 5H went to Libertine nightclub with Louis and Niall) - May 31 at Britain’s Got More Talent in London - June 2 at Capital FM in Birmingham, England - June 5 at Good Morning Britain in London - June 6 at Capital FM Summertime Ball 2015 in London - June 12 at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, Hawaii - June 14 at LA Pride 2015 - June 18 at Jimmy Kimmel Live in Los Angeles - June 20 at B96 Pepsi Summer Bash 2015 in Bridgeview, Illinois - June 23 at San Diego County Fair 2015 - 28 June at Show Of The Summer 2015 in Hershey, Pennsylvania - July 10 at Rockefeller Plaza in New York. July 15, 2015, beginning of Reflection: The Summer Tour.

June 27, 2015 Lauren turned 19, and do you guys remember the events of those days? Because I do.

On June 24, 2015, Lauren celebrated her birthday in advance at the famous sushi restaurant ‘Katsuya’. Among the guests were the girls, her mom Clara, some friends, including Jill (the same Jill/Jillian Gutowitz who worked with Zack Sang and who 5H met on April 22, 2015, at the Worldwide Radio Summit, which lasted for three days but they were present for two: 22 and 23. The same Jill who wrote the article for AfterEllen on January 25, 2016, about her experiences with women who denied their sexuality. Remember the story of Lauren Jordan, right?), and Noah Benardout (may he rest in peace). Still no Lucia, not even on the days when Lauren returned to Miami to celebrate with her family before resuming the program from the 28. As I already said, The Reflection Summer Tour began on July 15, 2015, and Lucy’s first public reappearance took place on one of the tour dates, that is, July 27 at Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

From that moment on, we saw Lucille appear on multiple occasions in hops through time. After the July 27th date, we saw her during the trip to Hawaii with Lauren and Keana in September, followed by the concert that the girls had on October 10 in the Bahamas, where they stayed with their families and friends for a few days. After the Bahamas, the mess happened between 5H because they found out about Camila’s departure from the group which initially should’ve been immediate, but for which they fought and gained another year. That, was also the time when Laucy signed their PR contract. As we know from Lauren herself, that was the worst and darkest time for her. That was the beginning of her numbness.

On October 23, they were on their way to Italy and Lauren wrote on her dark diary, the one shown to us in Episode 8 of her Attunements. On October 24, they arrived in Milan for the MTV Europe Music Awards 2015 occurred on October 25, and on October 28, in Madrid instead, there was the interview with Alyson Eckmann, the journalist Camila flirted with while Lauren was sitting right next to her.

Going forward, in November we have:

- Rumors about Lauren and Julius Dein (his friend who is a YouTube magician).

-The release of IKWYDLS including the rumors about Camila and Shawn and Michael Clifford (who was already in the picture) who were ‘vying for her’.

- Beginning of Lauren’s coming out plan which included: 1) The release of The Vamps’ album on November 23rd, that is, a week after the release of IKWYDLS, and which included the track ‘I Found A Girl’. Joe O'Neill, the manager of The Vamps, liked that famous tweet. Despite the efforts to make us believe that Bleahren (sorry for the Italian pun I made here, but ‘bleah’ in Italian is equivalent to the ‘eww’ to indicate something gross, and therefore Bleah-Ren) Brauren was real and that the girl involved was Lucille and not Camila, they’ve miscalculated since Lauren and Brad ‘dated’ in 2014 when Lucy had not yet returned into Lauren’s life. But since the album and consequently the song came out on November 23, 2015, they tried to manipulate people’s minds as usual. 2) Jill’s article that served to connect and more or less ‘confirm’ the story between this Jordan and her childhood friend, Lauren-Lucy.

- December: completion of the 7/27 album + Dina LaPolt’s entry + renegotiation of the contracts (mostly DNA’s contracts) + FIFTH HARMONY MUSIC, INC. created by LAND on December 21 to prepare for the transfer of the 5H trademark, the FIFTH HARMONY PARTNERSHIP, of which they became owners from April 27, 2016 + change of management from Faculty Management: Jared Paul and Janelle Lopez, to Maverick Management: Larry Rudolph, Dan Dymtrow, and Tara Beikae. [All things that were possible ONLY THANKS to the exit of C from the group]

- January 2016, we have Lauren and Lucrezia who came back from Colombia to then taking a road trip for Lucy’s birthday week.

- Jill’s article came out and coincidentally, by pure chance, exactly two days later, on January 27, 2016, Camila and Dinah were hacked.

- On March 9, 2016, Lauren, Normani, Andrea, Dinah, and Keana went to pierce their ears, or rather, Laurmainah pierced their ears, mama Dre and Keana just accompanied them. During her turn, Lauren asked Keana to take her phone to make a video. In the meantime, Mani was filming Lauren, and again by pure chance, Keana, who was in the heart of the frame, took Lauren’s phone as she’d asked, and both the lock screen and the home screen portrayed a picture of Lucania during a photoshoot. Same picture Lucy herself posted on Instagram on April 10th to leave no doubt.

- April 24, 2016, Coachella together.

- Luciana went with 5H in London, in May, during the promotion of the 7/27 album. (+ Camren video of May 28, 2016)

- She was present during the start of the tour in South America on June 26th (in the evening during the concert, L danced Big Bad Wolf for her, but that’s not the famous video, that was on September 5) and 27th to celebrate L’s birthday together (picture of the 27th of them in Buenos Aires).

- June 27, 2016, on L’s birthday, Jill posted a picture with L from the birthday dinner of the year before, further confirming the story of ‘Jordan’.

- August 1, the national girlfriend day, L posted a picture of her and Lucy.

- From August 12 to 21, Lucy was with them. The night after the concert on the 13th in Rochester Hills, Michigan, videos in which Lucilla appeared during Lauren Fuller’s birthday celebration at the hotel for dinner. On the 14th in Noblesville, Indiana, during Gonna Get Better and Big Bad Wolf Lauren smiled in Lucy’s direction who was in the audience. On the 18th in Virginia Beach, Virginia, a fan met Laucy in a movie theater restroom, taking a selfie with Lauren (C posted a picture of her in the dark with the words of Bad Things “don’t think that I can explain it” the same night).

- On September 4 and 5 Lucippe returned. On the 5th in Houston, Texas, the famous ‘super HD’ video took place in which Lauren danced Big Bad Wolf for Lucy, even pointing to her during her verse. [On September 6, Midland, Texas, during the Q&A, Lauren wore the same dress that Lucy was wearing to the concert the night before, and at the same time, she sat next to C and got jealous when C complimented a fan by sending her flying kisses. Ahh… The irony]

Now. Let’s move on to the part of the podcast where Lauren explains about the kiss with Lucza at her uncle and aunt’s wedding, how her aunt “super innocently” posted the pictures on Facebook that her “unreal invasive fans” found and posted, how Perez Hilton outed her to the world by posting an article with those pictures, how she did nothing for a week, and that after thinking “Ok, it happened. People know. What am I gonna do?”, she wrote that letter against Trump as her own way of coming out.

On November 4, 2016, Lauren and Lucynda did the ‘famous’ photoshoot in New Orleans called ‘Bare With Me’. Lauren flew to NOLA right after Halloween, got back to Miami to vote, then returned to New Orleans on the 10th along with her family for the wedding. Lucianna was also with her on the 10th for the rehearsal/bowling with all of Lauren’s relatives. Meanwhile Orange Trumpeter was elected on the 8th, and many celebrities were preparing to write a letter through Billboard against him and his supporters. Labels and management saw it as a perfect opportunity to get her to come out also considering how much Lauren has always been vocal on the subject, and THEY contacted Billboard to get her to participate in exchange of the exclusive of her coming out. All that was missing was the evidence to make sure that there had been no connection with Camila, and that was the reason for the kiss at the wedding on the 11th.

On November 13, the wedding photographer posted those pictures on his website, including the one of the kiss. And I’m sorry, Lolo, I love you but, really? Who are you kidding? The pictures didn’t start spreading because her ‘unreal invasive fans’ found them on her aunt’s Facebook page where she’d posted them ‘super innocently’. The pictures started spreading after the photographer posted them! And you know what’s even more funny? That to see those pictures on the website, you needed an access password. So what are you saying here, Lo? That your ‘unreal invasive fans’ were so good, to even have hacked their way into the website for pictures they didn’t even know existed? It wasn’t your team, was it? Oh, okay. My bad.

Sarcasm aside. The pictures started to spread, Perez tweeted about it on the 14th, and in the meantime Lauren had time to write the letter that was approved by the labels and sent to Billboard (on the 14th), who approved it a couple of days after it was sent (on the 16th), and which they then published it in the article two days later (on the 18th). In all of this, on November 15, 2016, the girls all went to Epic’s party. Since we know very well that most of the cases of coming out as bisexual in the industry made by a female celebrity occur in succession with the connection with a guy, that night there was the PR proposal between Typo Dolour Signal and Lauren that he obviously accepted, and in fact, he was there that night at that party too (Picture of C with a tear mark on her cheek).

Now, the icing on the cake of the Laucy’s PR: Nicole Cartolano. Nicole is a friend of Lecy’s with whom she had already worked together and who also posted pictures of Lauren on November 17 and 22, 2016, one on December 31, 2016, together with Marian Hill taken backstage after Lauren’s performance with them on the 30th, the night before, for the Snow Globe Festival in South Lake Tahoe, California, and the one of Laucy (with the piñata) on January 10, taken the same night to celebrate Lucilia’s birthday at midnight and that Lauren also used to post it for wish her a happy birthday. That was the last public interaction between the two. *Slow entry of Tympans Dollhouse Signalized in the picture from January 4, 2017, thanks to that tweet*.

On January 21, 2017, Lauren and Lucy were at the same Women’s March, but separately (single), and we haven’t seen them together anymore. LuBYE. On March 22, 2017, both ‘Bare With Me’ and the interview article Nicole did with MTV News (she confirmed that Laucy had been together by having an on-again, off-again for years and also said a lot of other bullshit like the fact that the girls were nervous because they didn’t know how their parents would’ve responded) came out. On August 13, 2018, Nicole officially apologized to Lucy for being angry with her for posting the pictures and therefore for having outed her and for having taken part in the MTV interview without their permission. There was also the screenplay made by Nicole’s mom to make everything even more true.

Bullshit on bullshit on bullshit. Number 1, Lauren herself confirmed in this podcast that her parents knew about her, and said how much she loved Lucre’s ‘I’m out and proud’ part.

Number 2, Nicole posted a preview of the pictures on March 18, 2017, so if she really wanted to stop her before the publication on the 22nd, she would’ve had time to do so.

Number 3, Lucita came out publicly on her own with that Spanish post on Instagram on November 20, 2016, saying in summary that she was anything but straight because she didn’t want to label herself (she did it years later by saying she was a lesbian).

Number 4, as Lusia also confirmed in that post where Nicole’s mom left that comment, Nicole signed a non-disclosure agreement form. If she had actually violated it without having had a release and written consent form, she would’ve been sued.

Number 5, if Luciferase really wanted to have that conversation in private with Nicole’s mom, she might very well have done so. She could’ve contacted her and answered her IN PRIVATE for real, and not via IG where EVERYONE saw and took the side of poor, poor Luckless.

Number 6, the biggest proof that shows the hypocrisy of all this, Lucasta continued to work with Nicole. Their last work dates back to November 25, 2019.

Okaay, sure… sure, because it was normal for her to continue working with the person who outed her, wasn’t it? People’s lies never cease to amaze me. For that matter, Nicole also posted a picture of their ‘adventure’ as they made their way to the photoshoot location on November 1, 2017, and continued to wish them both a happy birthday with posts every year.

And lastly, on June 6, 2020, we have the Lucerne’s video leaked (+ old pictures and videos of 5H) where she burned pictures of Lauren and of the two of them together in 2017, accompanied by the tweets occurred two days later, in which she explained that she was hacked and that she burned the pictures for a closure. Then, exactly 20 days later, that is on June 26, 2020, the PAPER Magazine article of Lauren’s interview came out. What a coincidence! In that article, Lauren explained, along with other things, that she’d been in love with her best friend for 7 years.

Lauren, honey, the maths, the maths… If according to your words you fell in love with her at 15, got together with her at 18, and broken up at 20, how can these be 7 years? It’s 5 years… And as if it wasn’t enough, still according to your words, after 1 year and 8 months (from mid-May 2015 to mid-January 2017), 2 months of which public because of the wedding pictures, of the relationship you wanted at all costs, “all in” and “now we’re gonna be in this relationship”, you broke up with her because she was really toxic, and after less than a month, you started dating an even more toxic person without the proper time to heal?? How do you expect me to believe you? And I’m putting aside the fact that I know they’re both PR relationships. I’m speaking out of logic. How? How can I believe you? How does this make any sense?

Personally, yes, I believe Lauren and Lucy have a past. Lauren’s first kiss was when she was 13 (8th grade) with her boyfriend at the time, Dominic, but I think Lucy was her first kiss with a girl. And I think it happened when she was 15, but in 2011, so long before Lucy left. Lauren dated Paul Martinez from June 4, 2011, to the end of July (around 23/24). From after Paul, until her very first PR at X-Factor, Keaton Stromberg, she was single. I truly believe that before she met Camila, Lauren and Lucy did everything Lauren said. I really believe Lauren experimented with her in secret, but I don’t believe in anything else she said at all.

This is my opinion. And in my opinion, Lauren always knew she was queer, and Lucy was the first with whom she could experience the attraction and the feelings towards girls she had always felt and concealed deep inside herself. But they were friends. Just friends. Friends who messed around and experimented together in secret given the environment that surrounded them. Lucy then returned to live in Puerto Rico and they simply drifted apart because of the distance and Lauren’s busy schedule with 5H. When she came back into Lauren’s life, they rekindled their friendship. Just that. Also because, Camila, hello? Camila entered Lauren’s heart the same year Lucy left and never get out of it. Not to mention that Lucy had a girlfriend, Sarah Scott Narcise, before getting together with Nicole Marie Rendón in March 2017. I honestly think that Lucy was also giving advice to Lauren about her relationship with Camila, and I also think that now they really aren’t friends anymore for something we don’t know about, even though I have my theories… But anyway. Lauren needed a beard to be able to come out, Lucy needed visibility for her modeling career and, at the time, also for her music which, however, never saw the light of day. The labels approved because they would’ve done anything to keep their chosen one out of the gay light. Camila also approved. Boom, PR.

I don’t believe all the other bullshit she said during the podcast. Because if they’d been true, they would’ve made logical sense. A sense they’ve been trying, and failing, to give for years. If Lauren really didn’t want to come out, she wouldn’t have done a photoshoot with Lucy a week before the wedding with the intention of using that same photoshoot to come out. She would not have kissed Lucy in a public place during the wedding pictures in front of a professional photographer hired for the event, knowing full well that those pictures would eventually have been published by the bride and groom, her aunt and uncle, and the photographer himself. If she wanted so badly a picture of her kissing her girlfriend, drunk or not, she would’ve taken her fucking phone and take selfies. It wasn’t the fans’ or Perez’s fault. It was the management that was following the plan.

And I’m supposed to, what exactly? Forget all these things, things that have been proofed multiple times in the past, because Lauren, or Camila, or management, or labels, or their contracts, must continue with their stupid narrative? Because Camila must continue to look straight and continue to look in love with Shalt Menstruated because the señorito is about to release his documentary and his album? Because Camila’s movie is about to come out? Because Lauren’s own album is about to be released and because the subject matter of her female-pronounced songs must only and exclusively be related to Lucy? (Although I think her album will be out next year. I think a song with female pronunciation is coming out soon. And no, I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s Burning)

Guys, come on…

Think about it. She used Lucy as a shield to tell part of her story with Camila that happened in 2014. It all fits. Even the story told through songs from Camila’s cocky POV, including ‘Like Friends Do’, ‘Eyes on You’, ‘Cleopatra’, ‘Leave for Good’, and a couple from her last album like ‘Should’ve Said It’ and ‘Feel It Twice’.

I understand why many of you have been hurt by this podcast and by Lauren herself. I understand why a lot of you are angry about the things she said. I see you, I understand, I really do. And everyone is free to feel whatever they want, I’m not saying otherwise. But I really don’t understand why you’re hiding or why you’re abandoning the ship. Authors who don’t wanna write anymore. Accounts closed. Names changed. Hope lost. This, all this, makes me angry and hurt. Because you fell for it. And you know why you fell for it? Because Lauren changed her approach. Leaving aside the part just before when she said: “Even when I talk about it, and I don’t talk about it because I’ve learned to just ignore it because-” and there, I swear I had to pause because I burst out laughing, and I was like: “Bitch, you’re the one who pulled this out of your ass out of nowhere right this second, what are you saying?”. She went on by saying, and she knows us so well because of this: “I just chose to ignore it at a certain point because getting angry to them would it mean that it was real and validate it more for them”.

And it’s true. This non-angry approach of hers, worked like a charm. Lauren’s older, she’s more mature than before. Although she was very nervous, she managed to explain everything calmly. The fact that she was emotional and almost cried in many parts, it really gave an extra boost to what she tried to sell. And I’m not saying she faked almost crying. Hell, no. That was super true and hard for her. I’m saying though, that it’s really easy to manipulate people’s minds, and Lauren used her real pain, the real suffering she has gone through over the years to tell this charade. That’s why it seemed so real. And I’m supposed to fall for that shit just because that’s what they’ve wanted for years, right? Convenient much?

Guys, please. You’re smarter than that, use those beautiful brains. For example, the fact that Lauren said: “I was queer, but she was not”, wrong as you want it to be, and “Camila and I were just really good friends at that time”, yeah, sure, Jan. Doesn’t the very fact that she used the past tense make you realize that it was done to completely detach herself from her IN THE PRESENT? Everything she said was for something. Everything had a purpose. And the goal is always the same. Make us stop shipping ‘em. Putting a label on C only served the Shoestoremila purpose, nothing else. And those were words that came out of the mouth of the one who says she doesn’t like labeling people. The same one who was pissed that someone had outed her before she wanted to. Do you really think she’s that hypocritical?

The fact that she put all the CS in the same box, especially when she talked about the Daddy situation, WAS DONE ON PURPOSE. She couldn’t fail to generalize because their purpose is, and will be for a long time to come, to kill Camren. That means the whole fandom. Not just invasive elements. But really all the CS. The purpose was to make us feel guilty. The purpose is to make us accept that it was never real, and since we care about them, to make us continue to support them individually and not as a couple, even though she knows that the real CS do it regardless. This, is called manipulation, guys.

Think about everything else too. The inconsistency. The holes in her story. The lack of explanations. And the fact that during the story of how it all happened, she jumped from one theme to another and therefore managed to deflect and not completely finish one before moving on to the other, doesn’t it make you understand that she didn’t want to give too many details? And when does that usually happen? She knew we’d analyze her. She knew she couldn’t say too much. When she talked about Lucy, she knew that WE know she was talking about Camila, and with too many details, it would also have been obvious to the others because WE would’ve pointed it out to everyone. I mean, it’s obvious enough in itself, imagine if she’d fed us more information that we would’ve compared in the timeline.

Please, guys. I know that it feels like something’s changed, but it’s not. It’s really not. I’m appealing to all of you. Open your eyes. Reason. I know many of you still have conflicting emotions and feelings, and that’s okay. If you’re still upset, if you still wanna cry, then cry. Do whatever helps you feel better because, especially after the haters have come to bite your asses, you’re entitled to feel the way you do. But please, please, don’t give up. If you give up, you just play their game. You just do them a favor. You guys had invested so much of your time, so much of your passion, so much of yourselves to just, give up. Think of all we’ve been through, especially those who’ve been in the fandom for years. Think about how happy Camren makes you. They were there for you when you needed them. When you were going through hard times. I know they’ve helped a lotta people.

And think about this too. Lauren herself said at the beginning of the podcast: “The news and the media are constantly spinning narratives for your clicks so they can make money”. And what do you think this podcast was for? It’s always the same shit. Have you not noticed how the very same news and media have ALL talked about them? Didn’t you notice how My Oh My magically returned into the charts? How 50ft surpassed the 9 million streams on Spotify? And you still have doubts?

This is instead for the CS who get often angry about their actions. I personally think it’s pointless to blame Lauren and Camila for every single thing they do that has been PLANNED for them. Especially Camila as far as Shonas is concerned. There’s a pattern here too. Lauren had her light PR with Lucia. Lauren then had her heavy PR with Typic Dole Sight while Camila had a light one with Eatchu. And now Camila’s having a heavy one. C’s one is heavier simply because they’re much more famous than PRen (Tyren) were. So, guys, be patient. There’s really no point in getting angry and blaming them. It’s a waste of energy. It’s useless to blame them if they’re gonna continue to do so over the years to come. They’re just still trying to get past their original contracts and survive in the industry at the same time. Sooner or later, I HOPE, they will be free to tell the truth or the truth will come out on its own.

Well, I’m done. Jeez, that was long, wasn’t it? But I hope it was worth it. I hope I’ve cleared your heads a little bit and instilled some hope again. I also hope I made you smile with all those nicknames and my sarcasm. I especially hope that wherever you are, you’re having a good day, and if not, then I hope it has improved at least a little bit with this post. And thank you so much, Stuck. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to use my voice for the first time publicly/virtually. You, above all, keep on being one of the lights and NEVER let them turn you off. I love you guys. Stay safe. Stay strong. Stay patient. With love, F.

I leave you with these two pearls:

Number 1. Lauren said something else too. She said: “Don’t trust me. Go research. Go look this shit up yourself”. I know she said it for a completely different context, but I found it really funny given the situation.

Number 2. This is a small scene that automatically created itself in my head as soon as I finished listening to Wonder. I titled it: The sad and short story of the making of ‘Wonder’.

Enjoy:

*on the phone*

Shawl Mendicant: “Hey, buddy. I know you were a huge Fifth Harmony fan and I know you love my fake girlfriend, so I was thinking… could you help me? You know, I need her to stay relevant, but to do that, I also need to release music and completely take all the credit from other people because, you know, the most I do is change a sentence or two in my style to make people think that I wrote all my songs.”

Sam Smith: “………okay?”

Shawnita Menorrhagia: “So, I was wondering, can I copy your homework? You can totally refuse if you want to, but I’m hoping to appeal to the love you have for 5H and Camila, and maybe help a friend out?”

Sam Smith: “Yeah, sure, you can copy my homework. Anything for my girls. Just, change it up a bit so it doesn’t sound too obvious you just copied it.”

Shonas Mended: “Don’t worry. I’ve got this. Thanks, man.” - *ends the call*

Sam Smith looking at the phone with an incredulous expression and one hand over his heart: “I came out as a non-binary, you insensitive asshole!”

Shoes Mentionable from the other room: “Cameeela! He said yes!” *reaching then Camila and Lauren in the living room where Lauren is lying with her head resting on Camila’s legs who’s running her fingers through her hair with one hand and holding the book that she’s reading with the other one* “You were right, all I had to do was mention you girls.”

Lauren chuckling and continuing to pet Cleo who’s lying at the foot of the couch with one hand: “Told you”, to then adding: “And please, I know you’re excited because of the news but keep your voice down”, continuing to caress Sofi’s head who’s sleeping on top of her with the other one.

Shapeless Mentality: “Oh, sorry.”

Camila without looking away from her book: “Sam’s really nice. I’m sure they would’ve said yes even without the need of mentioning us.”

Lauren: “Hmm, I’m not so sure about that, babe. Yes, they’re very nice, but we’re powerful in their minds, so it was an added incentive for them to say yes.”

Shaved Mentholated: “Who are they? Weren’t we talking about Sam?”

Camila who was giggling at her girlfriend’s words:

Lauren:

Sinu from the kitchen:

Cleo who was nibbling her toy:

Even Thunder, Leo, and Eugene from outside into the yard:

*the end*

Chon Mendable: ‘Wonder’ - Sam Smith: ‘One Last Song’

____

OMG I am speechless. I’m really still digesting this whole story because it’s amazing but I wanted to start by saying hello to you and telling you my name, my name is Marite. It is a pleasure to meet you dear friend. I don’t want to write too much because your words are much more important than mine but I wanted to thank you for trusting me and my blog to tell me your story. That side of the story that, being new and not having been a harmonizer from the beginning, I never learned. I intended to ask for more information about Laucy’s Timeline but what you have told is a gem. A gem that shows that the bastards of the industry cannot fool the fans because we pay attention to everything and it is not easy for us to fall for their shit. I think the power we fans have is so great that if we all came together, we could bring down this whole fucking fake empire that they have created. That said, Laucy’s story is surprising. As planned and how each person involved had to do their part on the chessboard. Incredible. Now that you tell me that story, I think it fits the one I wrote in my once upon a time post. Sure, yours is true and has everything that mine doesn’t. I have tried to keep this blog open for all who wish to come and air their ideas, their thoughts, their tea. And you dear friend, you have been one of the best so far. You’ve given us that support that the fandom so badly needed and I really appreciate it. I also appreciate your humor, the nicknames have been so hilarious and I’m still laughing. Thank you for daring to tell this part of the story and reopen the can of worms of a PR that right now resurfaces with that Lauren interview. With a purpose, it’s true. And something tells me that we will see much more very soon. Thank you for your support, my friend. And you know, you have my blog at your disposal for whatever you need. And if you need to talk or anything else. I greatly appreciate that we can continue to keep this ship afloat among ourselves. Among a group of intelligent people who have been hurt by someone we have always loved very much even though we know the reason for all that. We can’t give up now because if we do it like you say they will win and I personally don’t plan to indulge them in that. Thank you very much for all dear friend and I hope you have a nice day. I send you a hug and I hope you stay safe.

#submission #laucy timeline #amazing #thanks you buddy #camren #f anon

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uh-drarry · 4 years

Text

Day 5 - Mistletoe

Day five! Very much did not expect myself to get this far. This is from the wonderful list posted by @remus-john-lupin ! Thank you so much to @bisexualronaldweasley for beta-ing this late at night lol! I appreciate you!

These are within the universe of my other content, but you do not have to read those to understand these. Also, I won’t be making them all within the same time period if that makes sense, they’ll take place in different years. This one takes place before Wolfstar becomes a thing. They’re about to graduate high school. Happy December and Happy Holidays!

Remus stepped off the train and onto the platform, scanning the crowd for Lily. He was about to pull out his phone and call her when he was knocked sideways by a red blur. “Remus!” she yelled in his ear.

Laughing, he turned and hugged her, spinning her around easily. “Lily!” He yelled back.

“I know it hasn’t been that long since I’ve seen you, but damn, I missed you so much! Wales is too far away.” She pouted as Remus set her back down.

“I know, I know. I’m going to be moving down here once we all graduate, though.”

“Yes, you’ve mentioned. At least it’s a boarding school, right? Otherwise I’d never see you! Speaking of moving, can we get a flat together when you’re ready to move? Or did you want to be living alone?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing! Yes, please, I would love to live with you, that sounds wonderful.”

Lily bounced around in excitement. “Okay, we should probably get going instead of standing here. James and Sirius won’t be happy if we’re late. Also, how was it at your parents?”

“It was really great to see the family again, overall pretty relaxed. We spent a lot of time together, just the three of us.”

“Sounds better than spending time with Petunia. Ugh.” She made a face.

Remus chuckled. “At least we’re spending the last few days at the Potters’ house.”

Walking to the parking lot, Remus bumped Lily’s shoulder. “So, James. How’s that going?”

Lily blushed and shoved Remus back lightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure. Except when we spoke on the phone two days ago, you were talking all about how cute he was and how you might be catching feelings!”

“Yeah? And how about Sirius?” Remus blushed hard and quickly turned away. Lily laughed. “That’s what I thought, so stop teasing me and I’ll stop teasing you, how’s that sound?”

Remus grumbled unintelligibly, and Lily grabbed his arm to drag him along to the car.

When they hopped out of the car, Mr. and Mrs. Potter stepped outside to say hello and help with their bags, leading them to the rooms they’d be staying in. Before they even walked in the front door, they could hear James and Sirius yelling over the loud Christmas music.

“How on earth do you live with that?” Remus asked the Potters.

Chuckling, Mr. Potter replied, “That’s why we keep this house instead of downsizing, Remus, we have separate wings to ourselves and we can’t hear them all the way over there.”

“That’s very smart of you guys. I’ll have to keep that in mind when I have a family.”

Finally walking into the living room to greet James and Sirius, they found everything draped in red and green fairy lights, along with a lot of tinsel.

“You guys have really outdone yourselves, this is truly blinding.” Remus yelled over the music. James and Sirius ran over to greet them, and Mr. and Mrs. Potter left them to catch up.

It wasn’t long before the rest of their friends arrived and the party really began.

After exchanging gifts and playing a few games, they devolved into a few groups to catch up with each other. Remus soon noticed that James and Sirius were missing from the group. That probably meant nothing good.

Just then, he heard James calling him from the other room. Remus quickly left his group to walk through the archway leading into the kitchen. Before he made it, though, he heard Sirius cuss, and then Sirius was tripping into Remus. Remus caught him just before he fell to the ground.

“What the hell?” Remus asked at the same time as Sirius, though Sirius was looking at James like he had been betrayed in the worst way.

James’s expression lit up when Remus looked at him. “Mistletoe!” he shouted, grinning.

Remus heard the conversations in the other room pause, and when they realized what was going on, they all laughed and ran over to see who was stuck under the mistletoe.

Remus looked above him and Sirius and saw the sprigs of mistletoe above their heads. He tried to back away – not that he didn’t want to kiss Sirius, but surely Sirius didn’t want to kiss him. But the group had made a wall between him and the living room.

Blushing bright red, Remus finally looked at Sirius, who stared back. Their friends – no, Remus corrected himself, their enemies – were starting to chant. “Kiss, kiss, kiss!”

It seemed like the only way to get out of it was to listen.

So Remus grabbed Sirius’s hand and pulled him close enough to whisper, mouths close, “Is this okay?” Sirius nodded, so Remus leaned in just a little further, and moved a hand to Sirius’s cheek. Finally, their lips touched. Remus felt like he’d been waiting years for this. For a second, he was able to believe that Sirius really did want to kiss him.

Remus didn’t let the kiss last long or go too far. Soon, too soon, he pulled away. Staring at each other, it took a moment to realize their friends had left them to it and had gone back to the other room.

Finally taking notice, Remus took a step back. He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry for, erm, that. I thought it really was the only way to get them off our backs.” Remus finally made eye contact with Sirius and saw what he thought might be disappointment.

Hope quickly consumed Remus. He felt a surge of bravery and decided, fuck it, before continuing. “I mean, they know that I’ve fancied you for quite some time, really I should’ve seen this coming. I just hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

Sirius just stood there for a minute. The hope in Remus’s chest quickly fell flat, and he suddenly needed to talk, to make the silence go away, sure that he had made a complete fool of himself and really, he just wanted to run away and hide. “God, I’ve made this weird now. I’m sorry, I really don’t expect you to feel the same, we can go back to how things were, I promise, I can get over it. I-” He was cut off when Sirius took his hand and pulled him away from the mistletoe. Remus glanced back, but it didn’t look like their friends noticed them leaving.

Sirius brought him into the loo and locked the door behind them. He turned to face Remus, cupped his cheeks, and brought their mouths together once again. Remus froze for all of two seconds before pulling Sirius in by the waist. Goddamn, this was all he ever needed. Remus bit Sirius’s lip lightly as they pulled away, causing a soft sound to leave Sirius’s mouth. Remus moved to Sirius’s neck next, careful not to leave any marks behind, but still savoring the smooth skin.

Sirius was breathing heavily, eyes closed. “I’ve fancied you for longer than I’d care to admit.” Remus lifted his head to face Sirius, and was kissed briefly before Sirius continued. “Would you go on a date with me, Moony?”

Remus smiled. “Yes, I would love nothing more.” He leaned back in, Sirius meeting him halfway. Sinking into the kiss once more, Remus brought a hand down to Sirius’s arse. Sirius moaned in approval and Remus pressed them together more firmly, causing a gasp to escape from Sirius.

“Yes,” Sirius said quietly, head tilting back again.

And then there was a sudden knock at the door, causing them both to jump.

“Hey man, I gotta pee. You’ve been in there for ages!” Frank yelled through the door.

They turned to look at each other and smiled sheepishly, faces reddening.

“Well I suppose there’s no hiding it,” Remus whispered and held out his hand.

Sirius’s hand clasped his as they opened the door. Frank quickly understood what he was seeing and laughed loudly, causing the others to take notice. Cheers sounded from around the room when they saw the two of them leaving the bathroom with swollen lips, clasped hands, and blushing cheeks.

James yelled out, “You’re welcome, you idiots!” Remus saw Lily sending him a thumbs-up. He mouthed back, ‘you’re next,’ to which she flipped him the bird.

Laughing along, they returned to the party. Their hands stayed tangled together, and when they thought no one was paying attention, they snuck in a few more kisses.

Masterlist <- more ficmas found on the masterlist

#wolfstar #wolfstar ficmas #wolfstar fic #wolfstar fanfiction #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Sirius Lupin #harry potter au #ficmas #jily #lily evans #james potter

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urimaginespimp · 4 years

Text

Michael Gray: Better Man pt 16

All it took was one late phone call to Polly, a purchase of two early morning tickets, and a whole lot of ignoring - mostly on Olivia's part.

"Are you really not going to talk to me anymore?" Michael asked quietly. She would've preferred it if he wouldn't follow her anywhere she'd went around the boat, but that would require actually speaking to him. And it's hard to admit, but she actually felt safer with him around.

Met with silence, Michael sighed and fiddled with his thumbs. "I hate this, Livy. I feel like a kid being chaperoned back home." Though it felt more like he was talking to himself.

Deep down she knew that maybe she overreacted a little bit. Maybe she should've listened to what he had to say first. Shaking her head, she decided that it would be better this way. She got her closure, and now it was time to really start over. Just as soon as she hands him back to his family.

The journey back home felt longer than it should have, and when they finally docked in London, the train ride to Birmingham finally made her feel excitement.

Finally stepping out, she almost felt silly from actually smiling. People would think it's crazy to actually miss such a depressing town like Birmingham. But it's hard not to, when it reminds of happier times in one's life.

A loud whistle from afar caught her attention. "Well isn't it our runaway girl." Arthur loudly declared, arms wide and striding to her direction.

Behind him, Polly was rolling her eyes playfully at Arthur's goofiness. But delight was also evident on her face. It's been so long.

It didn't take long for Arthur and his freakishly long legs to reach her, and soon enough, she was scooped in his arms in a hug.

"Just because I'm hugging you, it doesn't mean I'm not upset about you not calling me." He huffed and finally put her back down.

"I'm sorry, Arthie. I'll make it up to ya." She promised, beaming at his fake scowling face.

Michael was silently watching her reunite with two of his family. It pained to be reminded that he was the cause of her being apart from them for years.

When it was his mum's turn to greet and hug Olivia, Arthur turned to him and gave him a pat on the back. "Good to have ya back, cousin." He greeted. "Tommy's expecting ya back home."

It didn't take long for Polly and Arthur to catch on them both ignoring each other. Polly in particular, was giving them both worried glances. With Michael seated in front, she took the opportunity to talk to Olivia quietly.

"Is everything between you and my son, okay?" she whispered. Olivia, not having the energy to explain everything to her at the moment, just gave her hand a squeeze and a small shake of her head.

“Dear, I’ve noted that the belongings you’ve brought are actually smaller than I expected. Are the rest of your things to be shipped?” She asked her, now in her normal tone.

It seemed that she was too much in a hurry to visit, she forgot to tell Pol the one important detail – she wasn’t staying for good.

She let out a nervous laugh. “I-uh I’m only staying over for a few days, Pol.”

Arthur, having heard the conversation, almost lost control of the steering wheel from surprise, making them all harshly sway to the left. Muttering a quick apology, he cleared his throat and tried to concentrate more on driving.

Tommy's huge home on the outside was gloomier than she remembers. But as soon as she was ushered in arm to arm with Polly, she was overwhelmed with the warm welcome that awaited her.

John was the first to tackle her, followed by his kids who thought it would be fun to follow their father. Esme gave her a hug and a quick pinch on the arm, telling her that her departure felt worse than that.

Finn gave her a peck on the cheek and cheekily told her that he was now officially a man, earning a feign disgusted look from her.

Tommy held his usual cool demeanor, nodding at her and telling her that it was good to have her back, only to be cut off when she threw herself at him in a hug, whispering a thank you for helping her all those years.

Their arrival was celebrated the whole family, the Shelby way but a bit more tamed – alcohol served in nontransparent glasses so the children wouldn’t get any ideas, some food, more booze, and no cigars. It was also refreshing for everyone to see Tommy sporting a grin.

“Dear, I don’t think I have the heart to tell everyone else here that you’ll be leaving us again soon.” Polly said, standing next to her, holding a drink on one hand, cigar on the other.

“I’ll tell Tom later. I don’t want to spoil the mood we’re all in.” She answered, taking a sip from her own drink.

Looking around for Michael to see if he’s also enjoying himself, she got curious when he was nowhere to be found.

“John, have you seen Michael?” She approached him while he was enjoying his drink, and laughing at Esme and some of Tommy’s maids trying to get a hold of the Children, with Charlie now also following his cousin’s naughtiness.

“Ye I think he went out for a smoke in the kitchen.” He answered her. Giving him a pat on the back, she excused herself.

“Remember, liv, we are among children who can now pick locks. Don’t get any ideas.” John called after her as she walked away to the kitchen, shaking her head. Same old John.

Hoping that her footsteps were quiet enough to not give her presence away, sure enough Michael was in the kitchen smoking. Though he was sitting on the counter with his back facing her. Some of the staff were silently working around him.

Feeling bad that he was here instead of being with his family, she finally approached him.

“Michael?” She called him.

“Oh, now she wants to speak to me.” He chuckled sarcastically.

Ignoring the sting from his voice, she continued. “I think you should come back and join your family.”

“And then what? Live in their joy while it lasts?” He snapped at her. She was also getting irritated.

“Look Michael, I don’t know where this rudeness is coming from when it was you who decided to not come clean about Tom’s orders. You didn’t have to go through all that shit about wanting me back.” She whispered harshly closer to him so not to draw attention from the staff.

The hurt in his eyes was clear. “Do you really think that low of me, Olivia?” He asked her before getting down the counter and left the room.

--------

Night came and most of the family were tucked in the spare rooms in Tommy’s home. But Michael and Polly were in Tommy’s by his request.

They were both seated in front of Thomas’ desk, while he opted to not take a seat and just stay standing by his desk.

“Michael, I called you here to officially welcome you back.” He said, pouring whiskey on glasses and handed them to him and his mother.

“Now tell me…” he took a shot of his drink. “Did Olivia come back here willingly?”

“What kind of question is that, Thomas?” Polly intervened.

“I’ve seen you both avoiding each other the whole night.” That was all he said. Michael understood where his cousin was coming from.

“Yes, Tom. It was even her idea to go back earlier so she could finally get rid of me.” Michael explained, taking both Tommy and his mum aback.

“Son, what happened back in New York?” Polly asked with a gentle voice.

“We were doing fine actually, more than fine. It was fucking great. I didn’t think I could be that happy again.” He answered, taking a break to clear his throat to stop from getting emotional. “But then she found Tom’s note for me and thought I was only doing all those things so I could finally come home.”

“Well, were you?” Tommy asked bluntly, pausing from pacing back and forth behind his desk.

“Of course not!” He defended. “You know how much I lover her. Hell, I even forgot about that fucking note for a moment.” He added quietly.

“Did you talk to her?” Polly asked once more.

“I tried. She won’t listen to me. But it doesn’t matter anymore, she’s going back there anyway.” He said bitterly, though Polly and Tommy both noted that his face showed nothing of it.

“Do you want me to talk to her?” His mother offered.

“And get accused again about dragging you into this scheme this time? I’d rather not.”

“Michael-“ Tommy was cut off by him

“Look, she had every right to be warry of me at first because of what I’ve done in the past. But you don’t know how frustrating it is to have your every move and intention be under suspicion no matter how hard I’ve tried to prove to her otherwise.” He stood up from his seat, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

“At least now I know she’s bound to leave again and this time I’ll be ready. It’s great to be back with my family. But I hope you’ll understand if I ask a little time for myself first." And with that he excused himself out of Tommy’s office.

Tommy and Polly exchanged worried looks. “I think I wanna retire to my room now, Thomas.” She excused herself, eyes glistening with unshed tears for her son and the woman she loves as her own daughter.

But as soon as Polly shut the door behind her, Thomas clicked his tongue and sighed in annoyance at the situation. That’s what you get when you have two stubborn people love each other.

“You can come out now.” Tommy announced, placing his drink down on his desk.

A small frame got out from under his desk. Only that her eyes showed clearly that she was crying.

“See what you get when you listen?” Tommy asked Olivia. She could only manage a small nod. Hearing about their conversation was enough to bring her to tears. Now what would’ve become of her if she actually saw his state while talking?

“I love him, Tom. I really do.” She told him, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “But I owe him a big, fat apology first.”

--------

Hey all! I was planning to post last December, but I got too busy with school and had too much enjoyment in the Hollidays. I hope had a great one too, and Happy New Year!

We're only one chapter away from the Epilogue.

#Peaky Blinders #PEAKY FOOKIN BLINDERS #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders x reader #michael gray #michael grey #MichaelGray #Michael Gray imagine #michael gray x reader #polly gray #polly grey #thomas shelby #thomas shelby imagine #John Shelby #Arthur Shelby #finn shelby #Ada Shelby #finn cole imagine #finn cole

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raven-moon33 · 4 years

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Agh, sorry this is so late! I was planning on posting at least two more stories for #jttwfestival2020, so naturally my computer decided to break down the last few weeks of December. ;;

So, here is my exceedingly late contribution for Day #6: Make Your Own Bizarre AU! I will be cross-posting this on my AO3 profile, RavenMoon33, so feel free to check it out there as well.

This is a superhero AU (because I’m just a sucker for those tbh), so for some basic information:

Guanyin is a director/supervisor (think Nick Fury but better) working for the Lotus Syndicate (superhero agency) who goes under the codename Bodhisattva, Sanzang is one of her tech guys (think Q) whose codename is Monk, while the rest of the pilgrims are miscellaneous superheroes put together to be one of the Lotus Syndicates best superhero teams.

I’m already building up a bigger story and world for this (because I can’t seem to help myself apparently) and I do plan on continuing it with at least a few more parts/chapters. I’m not sure yet if I’ll be posting subsequent parts on Tumblr or if I’ll just keep them all on AO3 in a single story/series (purely out of laziness lmao) so keep an eye out for updates there if you like it.

Alright, ramble over. Please enjoy and let me know what you guys think!

“Monk, thank you for coming on such short notice. Please, take a seat.” Sanzang took a deep breath to hide his nerves and did as Guanyin bid him, sinking into the comfortable cushioned chair opposite her desk as well as he could with prickles of anxiety keeping his body tense and alert. He kept his briefcase clutched tightly to his chest as if it could be a barrier between them.

“There’s no need to be so anxious,” she laughed, “I promise I didn’t call you here for anything bad.” He gave a pointed look to the tea set and trays of cookies and sweets positioned strategically on the desk, an obvious bribe if ever he saw one.

“Bodhisattva, the last time you called me in here like this you assigned me to the Five Finger Mountain case.”

“Which turned out well, didn’t it?” She replied, sipping serenely at her tea. He blinked at her, flabbergasted, for a moment.

“I nearly died at least three times, nearly got fired, and spent a full month surviving in the woods on my own!” He stood up angrily when she just continued to stir her tea, pointing an accusing finger at her. “I’m just a tech guy, I wasn’t even supposed to be out on the field! What part of that is good?”

“The part where you rooted out dozens of spies in our network, exposed one of our highest-ranking members for corruption, and got half a dozen of our operatives out of enemy territory after they’d been held prisoner for years, all from your computer in the middle of a run-down shack in the woods?”

He opened his mouth to protest, he had just been doing his job after all, but she cut him off before he could even start.

“Or perhaps before that, when you helped save countless civilian lives by actively going out to the mountain site yourself and manually disabling the satellite gun before it could wipe out a quarter of the population, because no one else would listen to you and I was busy being framed for everything going wrong?” He sheepishly sunk down into his seat at her firm look, fighting the urge to hide his very red face in his hands.

He couldn’t exactly brush the whole thing off as nothing with her sitting right there in front of him, knowing more about what exactly those two months had been like for him than anyone else did. She didn’t seem angry at least, the same as she had when he refused a promotion and the rewarded recognition the higher-ups offered him after it was all said and done.

(He didn’t want the glory of being the person who wasn’t fast enough, smart enough, good enough to save the seventeen people who died between the time he figured out what was really going on and the time he finally gave up on The Lotus Syndicate getting anything done and going rogue. Three days, seventeen people- he should’ve been better. He didn’t want the operatives who made it out of there trying to thank him when they’d been stuck in a dark basement for months, some years, while he’d been off doing who knows what. He should’ve been better. He didn’t want the glory).

But she at least understood, later, when he explained it to her, so she wasn’t angry anymore. He still couldn’t bear to meet her eyes though. Eventually, she took pity on him, handing him a steaming cup of tea. An olive branch.

A few moments of silence passed.

“I was just doing my job.” He muttered at last, sullenly stirring sugar into his tea, accepting the silent apology for what it was. Neither of them liked to think too deeply about that time. She smiled gently at him, the warmth of it easing the tension out of his muscles. The tense air around them cleared.

“And you performed admirably. You are one of the best tech operatives in the business after all, if not the best.” He shook his head slightly, but didn’t try to protest. Questionable heroics aside, he was good at what he did, and they both knew it. “Which is why I’ve called you in here today. I have a new assignment for you.”

He perked up when she placed a folder on the desk between them, eager to leave the shadowy confines of the past behind. Besides, he’d been stuck on filing duty for the past month thanks to Guanyin’s momentary absence and his temporary supervisor hating his guts for whatever reason, and he was bored.

“What is it?” He asked, even as he reached forward and plucked the folder off the desk.

“Have you heard of the Nomads?” He snorted and gave her a disbelieving look.

“No,” he drawled sarcastically, “I can’t say I’ve heard of our most powerful superhero team, the ones who have racked up almost half a trillion dollars in damages in the last year alone and who have single handedly caused the PR department to go on strike no less than three times in the last two years.” Her mouth twisted into a wry yet fond smile.

“They are a handful, but their results more than make up for their more… unique methods.”

“Reckless methods, more like it.” He muttered, starting to flip through the file when she only nodded serenely at him. “What about them?”

“I want you to be their new tech.” He nearly choked on his tea.

“You want me to what?!”

“Be their new tech.” She repeated firmly, setting down her teacup and fixing him with the no-nonsense look he knew better than to ignore. “They’ve become one of our most powerful assets in only two years, but any team without a good tech is basically flying blind. They’ve been doing good out on the field, but they’re not as new as they used to be. The enemy will start to figure out their weaknesses soon, and without a good operative they can trust to lead them well when they’re in dangerous situations, they have a pretty glaring one.”

“You’re not telling me they’ve been operating for two years without a tech?!” He asked incredulously.

“Of course not! I make sure they have a tech for every mission, but,” here she sighed and rubbed at her temple, and she must’ve been exceedingly stressed out if she was actually showing physical signs of it, “they’ve also managed to drive away every tech I’ve assigned to them within a month or flat out refuse to work with the ones who don’t run. They need a good operative, someone competent who won’t run away when the going gets tough, until I can find a more permanent replacement. The pickings are slim, and I want to avoid having to start poaching techs from other departments if I can help it.”

She looked at him then, her eyes beseeching him in the way they only did when she was asking for a favor as a friend, and not as his boss.

“You’re the best pick for the job, because you know what you’re doing and I know I can count on you to do it well.” He could feel himself wavering now, and he could tell she knew it too. “Please Sanzang, you’re the only person I can trust with this right now.” He sighed and slumped back in his chair, defeated.

“How long do you want me on this then?”

“Seventeen months.”

“Seventeen-?!”

“Just until my assistant, Novice, gets back from his mission with the Jade Apprentices,” she interrupted, a hand raised in a plea for civility, “then you can have any position or assignment you want as thanks for taking this one on.”

He paused, considering.

“Even at Thunderclap? You know I don’t like working on the field.” And a position at Thunderclap would practically guarantee he’d never have to go on the field again.

“Yes,” she nodded after a significant pause, though she didn’t seem particularly happy about it, “even at Thunderclap. You’ve more than earned it, if that’s what you truly want.” He sighed in relief and nodded.

“Alright then. Seventeen months.”

“Seventeen months.” She agreed. “You can have the rest of today off, but you’ll be flying out to their main base in Beijing tomorrow morning. I’ll send you the relevant details tonight, but until then try to get some rest. You’ll need it.”

Sanzang did not rest. Once he got home (or rather, the hotel room he’d been living out of for the past few weeks- staying in the same place for too long made him nervous nowadays) he hunkered down in front of his computer monitors and spent the night doing research on the group he’d be spending the next year and a half babysitting.

The Nomads were made up of four members, each more powerful and dangerous than the next.

Freefall, Red Sand, Nine-Toothed Boar, and last but certainly not least, their leader Great Sage.

With the notable exception of Great Sage, each member of the group had been employed by the Lotus Syndicate for at least a few years before falling out of grace in one way or another, whether through an excessive amount of public damage getting them demoted to less than stellar positions in the Syndicate (Freefall and Red Sand) or the sheer amount of HR complaints getting them flat-out fired (Nine-Toothed Boar).

The three of them were only reinstated as high-ranking superheroes after the Five Finger Mountain incident revealed a distressing amount of Lotus’ heroes to be corrupt, severely depleting the Syndicate’s fighting force and requiring many previously fired or demoted heroes to be reinstated (even if only temporarily).

The three were put on a team with one of the Syndicate’s newest and most powerful superheroes (Great Sage, who as far as Sanzang could tell seemed to have popped up out of nowhere) both as a PR stunt (public damage and HR complaints or not, the three were still public favorites and no one was more popular in the public eye than the Great Sage himself) and as a way to keep a close eye on all of them, just in case.

Regardless of their rocky relationship with the Lotus Syndicate however, no one could deny they did amazing work.

It seemed every week there was a new story popping up in headlines about their latest accomplishment in making the world a safer place; stopping bank robberies, rescuing hostages, uncovering shady gang operations, saving the entire world from some type of otherworldly threat, fetching cats stuck in trees- you name it, they’ve done it at least twice in the past six months alone.

Sanzang couldn’t deny they did a lot of good, helped a lot of people, but even just looking at the reports on the damages left over from their altercations with criminals made a headache start throbbing behind his eyes. And he wasn’t even technically responsible for them yet!

He sighed and started compiling folders on all four of them; their powers, their personalities, their greatest successes, their worst failures, every scrap of a clue to each one’s backstory.

Forewarned is forearmed after all, and dammit, Sanzang was nothing if not prepared.

(Sanzang would soon come to learn that when it came to dealing with the Nomads, there was, in fact, no way to be prepared.)

#jttwfestival2020 #jttw #journey to the west #sun wukong #Tang Sanzang #Bodhisattva Guanyin #My writing #yes I had way too much fun coming up with all the names #even though it should've taken me like #five minutes max #but we're going to ignore that because #SECRET IDENTITIES AND MISUNDERSTANDINGS ARE MY BREAD AND BUTTER #bring all the wacky hijinks and hilarious miscommunication #it shall be amazingly cringe don't worry guys

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averyonelovesjack · 4 years

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cost of friendship III ~ daniel seavey

requested: yes

hiii can we please please please have another part to parties and the cost of friendship? love love love your writing!

hey hon just requesting a third part to 'cost of friendship' with dani whenever you have the time, thanks love

Hey! I hope things are going okay! I was reading your imagines and I'm a big fan of your works! I was just wondering if you were going to post a part 3 to "cost of friendship"? Just curious :) I understand if you discontinued it/you're on a break.

summary: six months into the relationship and just in time for the holidays, daniel and y/n recognize the difficulty in spending the holidays away from each other and have to determine if it’s worth breaking the secret.

warning(s): cursing

disclaimer: i use christmas and thanksgiving as plot points in this story because it fit better with the way i wanted the story to go, but feel free to replace them with any other holidays you celebrate!!

word count: 2740

author’s note: accidentally posted this, unedited, last night with no word count and the author’s note that i wrote in december of last year when i originally made the draft and didn’t write a single word of this story:) so now that it actually makes sense to post this, here is part three to cost of friendship! thanks for all these requests even tho they were clearly from a long time ago since cost of friendship II came out TWO YEARS AGO in september. welp hope this was worth the wait lol enjoy:))

read these first: part one, part two

six months with daniel went by really quickly. the summer was honestly a lot of fun. i could spent hours at the boys’ house and nothing was suspicious about it. i grew a lot closer with them all because we spent so much time together, and it wasn’t weird for me to hang out there, and i could see daniel whenever i wanted. we really got to know each other during the summer months. i had known daniel for a while now, but getting to know him on a relationship level was really nice.

summer ended pretty quickly though and then fall came. i was back in school. i didn’t think it would be hard to see him since i was still in the ending months of school when we started dating. i think that going from so much time together over the summer to only seeing each other a few hours a week was a really hard adjustment.

we promised we’d never let our schedules be a problem, but managing a full time student’s schedule and a singer’s schedule is really difficult. i had classes monday through friday, and any time i wasn’t in class, i was doing homework. that left my only free time during the week to be late at night. so we hung out late at night, but by the time we saw each other we were usually too exhausted to really do anything other than lay around and watch a show or talk for a little bit. weekends were usually better for me, but daniel had a crazy schedule that usually had studio time incorporated on the weekend.

we still made effort to see each other all the time we could, but it wasn’t easy. i think that probably plays into my current nerves. it’s early november and the stress of the holiday season had already gotten to me.

as a kid, the holiday season was the absolute best. thanksgiving meant seeing all of my family, including my cousins who were really close in age to me. and then the stretch between thanksgiving and christmas was my absolute favorite. it was filled with christmas music, christmas decorations, buying gifts, giving gifts, getting gifts, and again, seeing family. and don’t even get me started on new years. as a kid, staying up late was the absolute best thing. the sparking cider and noise makers were all the rave.

as a much older college student now though, it was a lot less fun. the holiday season meant figuring out plans and traveling home to see my family and not knowing which part of my family was actually gonna be available. it meant buying actual meaningful or useful gifts and then figuring out how to get them home. there was still the music and the lights, but i had no time to meaninglessly drive around los angeles and see the lights or spend hours around a fireplace watching christmas movies. i didn’t even have a fireplace to begin with.

the holiday season was also much more confusing this year because i had daniel. i’ve never even had a boyfriend during the holiday season, let alone a secret boyfriend. most of the things we went out and did we could pass off as just things we’re doing as close friends, but the holidays were different. friends don’t ditch the holidays with their family just to hang out with their friends family. i don’t even know if daniel and i are at the level in our relationship, and then even if we were, i couldn’t do anything about it because keeping our relationship a secret meant not being able to do the explicitly for couples holiday stuff.

as much as i think daniel and i are ready for the family stage in our relationship, neither of us have really talked about it because there’s not really much room to do it anyways. i’ve met daniel’s siblings and parents before, but never as anything more than a friend because it was too risky to tell anyone. and daniel’s never had an excuse to come meet my family since they aren’t just down the road like his.

the secret relationship really damaged my normal holiday mood and it honestly stressed me out. i have to book my plane home soon and to do that meant that there really was no chance that i’d spend the holidays with daniel. even with us only being together half a year, daniel meant so much to me. in every other relationship i’d been in, it felt like i was waiting for the relationship to end or i at least knew that it wasn’t going to last. it was different with daniel though and that was really hard since we couldn’t even tell anyone about it.

tonight is a friday and i had finally finished my work for the week. i was invited to a party, but i didn’t really feel like going since i was pretty tired from the week and i wasn’t in a party mood. daniel texted me soon after and asked if i wanted to come over. i wasn’t really in a socialization mood, but since it was just daniel and i haven’t seen him much recently, i said yes. he even said he would pick me up which made it ten times easier to say yes because he knows i don’t like taking ubers alone and i don’t have access to a car.

daniel picked me up at about 7. i didn’t feel like getting ready so i just wore my grey sweatpants and wdw tee that daniel had gotten me for free. daniel never seemed to mind my lazy outfits and i knew as soon as we got back he would change out of his jeans too.

“hi love, how was your day?” daniel asks as soon as i get in the car. i felt a little emotionally exhausted, but so happy to see daniel. the car was like our safe space because no one was around to walk in on us and we didn’t have to hide our feelings and actions.

“exhausting, but better now that i’m seeing you.” i admit.

“at least it’s the weekend now.” daniel says. “and i went to the studio a little early today so that we won’t have to go in this weekend and i can spend more time with you.”

“really?” i ask, that news brightening my day a little. “i was just about to ask how studio was today?”

“it was good. we worked on a new christmas song today when we were finished. i don’t know if we’ll ever release it but it was a lot of fun. i’m sure you’d love it.”

“you know how i feel about christmas music.” i grin. maybe a little daniel written christmas music will brighten my spirit in these next coming weeks.

“speaking of, i feel like you haven’t played any christmas music. i swear i barely knew you this time last year as compared to now but i knew how much you loved christmas music. i feel like you played it as soon as halloween was over.” daniel mentions and as much as i wanted to hold it back and not say anything, i felt too tired to not.

“i haven’t really been in the christmas spirit.” i admit with a sigh that i knew daniel would read through.

“i know the holiday season is hard. it’s been on my mind a lot too and i was hoping it wasn’t adding to your stress, but i should’ve said something sooner because i knew it would.” daniel says, looking over and gently ok in a hand on mine.

“it’s okay.” i say. “i probably wouldn’t have even admitted it until we got to a night like tonight where i’m honestly too tired to pretend i’m not stressed.”

“i’m sorry, love. do you want to talk about it?” daniel asks.

“it’s okay, i don’t even know what to say because we can’t even do anything about it.” i answer. “and i don’t want to stress you out with all of my little annoyances and sad things.”

“i know that the last few months haven’t been easy.” daniel starts, deciding for us both that nothing i could say would be too much for us. “with our schedules and then keeping it a secret.”

“it’s just-” i don’t even know where to start because i know when i’ll do i’ll either inevitably cry out of stress or sound angry with him when i’m not, i’m just annoyed at our situation. “it really sucks that i can’t spend any of the holidays with you and i fucking hate that because i love the holiday season and the spirit and i’m avoiding it because i don’t want to feel sad about us not being together for the holidays. and i love you. i love you so much and i want you to meet my family because i know they’ll love you, but it would be way too obvious for you to fly home with me for the holidays and there’s really no hiding that so i know it makes no sense to even think about that because it just makes me sad.”

“i love you too, y/n.” daniel says, still processing everything. “i didn’t know you wanted me to meet your family yet. i would love to, but i didn’t want to bring it up until you were ready.”

“are you kidding?” i laugh a little bit, looking over at him as he parked the car in the driveway but neither of us moved. “daniel, of course i want you to meet my family. i know they’ll love you because you’re you. god, ever since i told my sisters i have a boyfriend they’ve been begging me to tell them who so that they could meet you. i don’t know, the holidays have always just been about being with family for my family, and i’m sure yours too. you’re such an important part of my life now and i wish i could share you with them. it’s whatever, though. we shouldn’t talk about it because i know that it’s not possible.”

“what about thanksgiving with my family and christmas with yours?” daniel says and my heart skips a beat. “and then we can figure out new years later. i know you have to go home for christmas because you’ll get kicked out of dorms, and as much as i would love for you to just stay with us, i’m sure you want to go home and see your family.”

“daniel, as lovely as that sounds, you know how suspicious it would be for me to stay here for thanksgiving and for you to fly home with me? i don’t think even we would be able to keep that a secret.”

“fuck the secret, then, y/n.” he blurts out. “y/n, i don’t see us ending ever, and definitely not anytime soon and it’s not like we’re gonna keep this a secret forever. fuck the secret. corbyn was right, okay, the boys are gonna be happy for us. it’s not like they haven’t picked up on us being close these last few months and keeping this secret isn’t worth us being apart for the next few months, okay? it’s hard enough to spend only a few hours together a week, i don’t want to be away from you for all of thanksgiving and christmas too.”

“fuck the secret.” i say, with a smile forming on my face. “are we really doing this?”

“i see no better time than now, y/n.” daniel leans over the console to kiss my lips softly. “wanna go tell the boys now?”

“let’s do it.” i unbuckle my seatbelt with a weight lifted off of my shoulders. daniel and i meet in front of the car, our hands interlocking as we walked into the house as a non-secret couple for the first time.

the boys were all sitting in the living room and a movie was playing with all of the lights out. they all look over as daniel closes the door and the two of us walk over to them.

“y/n? what are you doing here? daniel didn’t tell us he was bringing you over.” zach says. “of course he just wants to hog you again.”

“do you guys wanna pause the movie for a second? we have some important news.” daniel says and we separate hands as to not give it away just yet.

“fucking finally.” jonah says.

“what?” i ask, wondering what he meant.

“i mean, i don’t want to be the one to say it and ruin it for you two, but i mean, come on, we’ve been waiting months for you to admit to it. so get on with it.” jonah gestures for us to continue. guess we weren’t as great secret keepers as we thought.

“y/n and i have been dating for about six months and kept it a secret from everyone.” daniel says and then takes my hand in his and pulls me closer so that i’m in his arms.

“SIX.” zach yells. “i knew there were vibes between you two but you guys are good. six months??”

“not that good.” corbyn mumbles, which causes the other three to look at him.

“you bitch!” jack then exclaims. “you knew? and you didn’t give me my damn money??”

“it’s their fault, they told me not to say anything!” corbyn defends, pointing a finger at the two of us. “i was not supposed to find out. i wish i didn’t, this was a lot of stress i didn’t need.”

“i would like my twenty bucks now, thank you very much.” jack says and corbyn quickly throws a twenty dollar bill at him.

“this is so unfair.” the ninteen year old looks at the rest of us. “jack gets twenty bucks, corbyn gets stress relief, daniel gets a girlfriend and it’s y/n. what do i get? i want something!”

“zach, i didn’t get anything from this either.” jonah reminds.

“shut up. you have a girlfriend.” zach screeches in his jokingly angry voice. “god, i’m so lonely.”

“i have a couple sisters, if you want.” i laugh a little. “you’d have to come home for christmas with danny and i, though.”

“and you’re leaving us for christmas? gosh damnit y/n, why can’t you guys stay with me for christmas?” zach exclaims, which makes us all laugh a little bit. i wasn’t sure how everyone was going to react, but this was a pretty funny one from zach.

“i hate to break it to you bud, but we’re, uh, all going home for christmas. we do every year.” jack sets a hand on his bandmates shoulder. “i’m pretty sure y/n would rather spend christmas with her boyfriend and her family than you, no offense.”

“what the fuck, y/n. you don’t wanna spend christmas with me?”

i’m laughing too much at this interaction to answer before jack.

“to be clear though, zach, i would choose to spend christmas with you.”

“well we have y/n for thanksgiving. we’re gonna see my family, so we’ll still be in la and can hang out. have our own little friendsgiving.” daniel suggests.

“no no no, i’m too lonely for friendsgiving.” zach expresses, deciding to be unhappy with everything we say just for the comedy of it. “i’m too single. you’re all in relationships, i can’t be the only lonely one.”

“um, bro, i too am single.” jack looks at him funny.

“okay, well yeah, but you have a child.”

“yes, a child who lives in hawaii. i’ll be your friendsgiving date.” jack offers.

“really? you meant it?” zach faked being emotional and jonah looks at them, then back at us with a funny look.

“well, now that we’ve dealt with... that, i just want to say we’re all really happy for you two.” jonah starts. “not that this is surprising to any of us, because there has been way too much sexual tension since we’ve all been friends for this to not have happened, but i’m very happy you decided to tell us.”

“are you guys gonna go public? like tell management?” corbyn asks.

daniel then looks at me a little nervously and then back at the guys, “yeah that’s the next thing we have to figure out.”

lovely.

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occasionalfics · 4 years

Text

touch every star (4)

main masterlist | thor masterlist | ao3 | previous | next

Pairing: Thor X Cinderella!Reader AU

A/N: I’m honestly so glad people like this. It’s not a lot of you reaching out to tell me so, but that’s okay. I think, at the end of the day, I did write this for me before I wrote it for anyone else, and I’m really glad I decided to revisit and share it!

Oh and I changed Odin’s name because of the setting/world, more or less. Odin Odinson didn’t feel right in this context 😂

Warnings: Lots of angst, a really, really shitty boss, but overall this is probably the most pure fic I’ve ever written?

Words: 4,051

His mother called a family dinner a week after the gala, early in December, just like she always did. Frigga liked to make holiday plans close to the holidays, and always in person.

Thor wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it, but he knew his mother would be disappointed if he skipped out. And that she wouldn’t accept “work” as a valid excuse for his absence. None of her children were really allowed to miss family dinners. Ever. Even if she never said it like that.

But he’d run out of the office at the last possible minute to be able to make it in time and, of course, that meant he didn’t have time to run home and leave the mask on his kitchen counter. He’d been keeping it in his blazer pockets during the day, and in the most visible spot on his counter every night since the gala, a reminder of the woman he’d lost twice now.

His only physical reminder.

He felt so stupid for being so easily distracted. Just having her in his arms had been enough to make him forget to ask for her god damn name! It wasn’t like the mask could help track her down, but if he’d just asked what her name was, he’d have something to actually go on.

As he came up from the subway, Thor patted the mask inside his breast pocket, hoping that was a good enough hiding spot to keep it from his family’s prying eyes.

No such luck, of course. How he thought he could truly fool his mother like that was a question that would later haunt him.

No sooner had he stepped into his parents’ penthouse apartment and pulled the blazer off to hang on their coat rack did the damn mask fall out of the pocket and right onto the floor. And since it was metal falling on hard marble floors, everyone in the vicinity heard it.

Hela, the oldest Odinson sibling - the wily one, which said something with Loki in the running; the one who was able to talk her way out of half of the family dinners when she felt like doing anything but sitting at a table with her father - poked her head out from the kitchen and into the foyer.

“You’re late,” she said flatly, her long, dark hair flying out past her frame in a ridiculously extensive braid. Then her eyes fell to the ground, since Thor had bent down to pick the mask back up. “What’s that?”

“Nothing,” he answered.

But that only intrigued his sister more. Because of course it did. He managed to shove the mask back into his blazer before she made it across the room, but Thor knew there was no way Hela hadn’t seen exactly where he’d put it.

“I’ll give you one chance to tell me what it is, Little Brother, or I’ll find out myself.” Never one to beat around a threat, she was upfront and clear.

The familiarity almost comforted Thor.

He rolled his eyes and ignored her because, really, what was she going to do with a metal masquerade mask? It was Frigga seeing it that he actually feared. He knew that if he didn’t make a big deal of it, Hela most likely wouldn’t, either.

Or so he hoped, anyway.

Moving into the kitchen, he smiled and greeted the rest of his family. Loki and Odin were already seated at the dining room table, Frigga was still working away at the last details of the dinner, and Hela was only just then coming back into the room to pour out drinks. Thor helped by taking dishes and cups to the table, which was more than he could say for his brother, at the very least.

“Nice to see you again, Loki,” he said, only somewhat teasing. His brother had a propensity for travel, and for causing mischief wherever he went. Usually it was all in good fun, but it also meant that the family often wouldn’t hear from him for weeks on end. So, in a way, it actually was nice to see him again.

The youngest Odinson sibling smiled widely, almost to the point of being fake. “You as well, Brother.”

Within minutes, Frigga forced everyone into their normal spots around the table with she and her husband, Freyr, at opposite ends and her children - Thor and Loki on one side, Hela on the other - around them.

They dug into the food, making the normal smalltalk for a family of five full grown adults. And then, when Frigga asked her children if there was anything new going on before getting into whatever she’d called the dinner for, Hela smirked.

Thor should’ve known he couldn’t trust his older sister with this. He was the Golden Child - literally and figuratively; Thor was the only one that had inherited their mother’s blond hair where his siblings had dark, dark hair that resembled Freyr in his younger days - and Hela had always been jealous of that. She’d never done anything to, like, harm him or Loki, but she did whatever she could to put them both through the ringer. Reasonably.

“Thor’s hiding something from us,” she said, point-blank. It was that easy for her. “I found a woman’s masquerade mask in his jacket.”

Frigga stared at him a moment, a curious glance thrown in his direction. He was beginning to wonder if she knew what to ask him, but then she sat forward, and he knew it was coming.

“What ever for?”

He rolled his eyes. Part of him really wanted to put this behind him by making something up. But the other part of him, the Romantic part that couldn’t forget the woman he’d danced with, hoped that speaking into the Universe what he wanted might bring it to him.

After all, some force in the Universe had already brought her twice.

“I kind of met someone,” he said as calmly as he could, looking anywhere but into the eyes of anyone else at the table. The ceiling was nice and distracting, for instance.

Frigga, on the other hand, went straight into a fit. She started out making unintelligible noises before getting out a breathy and loud, “Excuse me?!”

Thor shrugged, knowing that now there was absolutely no reason to cut corners. Hela had started this conversation, so why not just do what she would at this point? “Well, I-I didn’t so much meet someone as I...uh, bumped into her twice, and then we danced at the holiday gala.”

No one had a response to that, which surprised Thor. His siblings almost always had something to say. His father nearly never held his opinion back, and his mother was well known for her unnecessary reactions.

It took him a second to look up at his family, notice they’d all stopped what they were doing, and sit back to ask, “What?”

“I’d be the first to wager no one was expecting that,” Loki muttered.

“Who is this woman?” Frigga asked.

Thor wished he had an answer. Wanted one more than anything, but not just for his family’s sake.

God, he wanted to know her name so badly. Wanted to know her, beyond knowing that she worked on his floor and had the prettiest laugh in the entire world. He remembered her in that dress - that baby blue that made her look soft and elegant - and wished, so badly, that he wasn’t about to let his family down.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly.

Hela couldn’t help herself but chuckle. Thor didn’t even blame her for it, either. Their father, however, cleared his throat and glared at her.

“I’m sorry,” Frigga interrupted. “Did you say you don’t know the woman that mask you’re carrying around belongs to?”

“Uh. Yes?”

And that set both of his siblings to laughter. Which he’d anticipated, if only in the last few minutes of the conversation. So he let it happen until their father had enough. All he did was put his fork down loudly, but it was enough to call the table to order. Just not without glares right back at him from his oldest and youngest.

“Do you have a way to find her, dear?” Frigga asked, calmer now, like nothing had happened in between her previous question and this one.

Thor might never know how his mother was always able to pinpoint the worst part of every situation, but he did know that she was always the first to offer a solution. So sometimes it was hard for him to explain every single detail; if he got it out anyway, Frigga would give him something to help.

“I do not.”

Suddenly, he wasn’t hungry anymore. His initial reaction to admitting that was to wish he was back at work, not thinking about this woman that kept getting away from him. But he couldn’t really escape her there, either, if she worked on his floor.

“Can I see the mask?” Frigga asked. “Please.”

With nothing left to hide, Thor nodded. He got up from the table and went back into the foyer, gently pulling the mask from his jacket as if Frigga seeing it could fix everything. That wasn’t possible and he wasn’t letting himself believe that it was, but he also couldn’t let go of his hope.

Hope to see that woman again. Hope to, finally, be able to tell her who he was as well as ask who she was. Hope that they could find something more than small moments on elevators and dancefloors.

He brought the mask to his mother directly, putting it beside her napkin before returning to his seat. He forced himself to eat a little bit while she examined the metalwork. No one said anything again, which unsettled Thor more than helped the situation.

“She was at the Stark holiday gala?” Frigga asked finally.

Thor only nodded.

“If she came alone, which I assume she did if you danced together, then she’s most likely a Stark employee, is she not?”

“She is. I think she works in one of the offices on the same floor as mine.” He swallowed hard and forced out, “I just don’t know which one.”

“Well that’s no problem.” Frigga handed the mask to Hela, who passed it back to Thor. “Your phone has camera capabilities. Post fliers, send a blast email. Whatever it takes to find this woman.” She cut off a piece of her fish, then looked him dead in the eye. “You wouldn’t be carrying her mask around if you didn’t want to find her, dear. I know you at least that well.”

---

All she thought about for days was the tall blonde man with lighting around one eye and a dashing smile that lit up the whole god damn room around him. It wasn’t fair. He was...so far out reach in far too many ways.

First, he was definitely out of her league. Nat and Wanda might not agree, but they thought she was too good for everyone.

Second, she still had no idea who he was. Whenever someone went past her office, she’d look up and hope it was him, but it never was. It was like he came in earlier and left later than she did every day, and never once did he appear to leave his office. Either that, or he worked on a part of the floor she couldn’t see from her desk.

She thought about going to search for him every day, but Sitwell kept her far too busy to spare a moment on a whim. A dream.

That’s what he was: a dream. Tall and lovely and kind. Inviting. At least those are the things he’d let her see. She wasn’t sure what else there was, but she wanted to know so badly.

But by the end of her days, she was so tired she never really spared a thought for searching. She went on autopilot after six, walking absently into the elevator without thinking twice. Her thoughts all turned to dinner and bed by the time she made it down to the subway, and only when she was halfway home did she remember she had a hypothetical mission.

But really, who was she kidding? She wasn’t going to find him. If it hadn’t happened in the week since the gala, it wasn’t going to happen, and such was her luck.

Nat, however, seemed to be blessed, in comparison. She’d met a man before the gala, who’d then invited her as his date, and things seemed to be going well between them.

“He’s...interesting,” she said when Wanda asked about him one night. “So smart. Like, intimidatingly smart. Or at least he would to anyone else.” She chuckled at herself, pulling one leg up close to her on the couch so she could paint her toenails.

“You are the smartest person I know,” Y/N said. And she wasn’t exaggerating; Natasha had a knack for keeping up with the best minds, the fastest thinkers. Y/N had gone to a few photoshoots with her at the start of their roommateship, and she’d seen how Nat handled herself in a room full of self important people who only saw her as a marketing tool. So it wasn’t a surprise to Y/N that this man had piqued her interest with his brains first.

“We have a lot of fun together.”

“I’m almost sorry I missed you guys at the gala,” Y/N said. She meant it as a joke, but it caught Wanda’s attention, apparently.

“I’m sorry, what?” she asked, suddenly blinking fast in disbelief.

Y/N and Nat made eye contact for a second, then nodded like they’d communicated something top secret.

“The gala was super crowded,” Nat said. “I spent all night with Bucky and his friends. One of ‘em ran off to get us drinks and never came back. I’m still not convinced he didn’t get eaten by the crowd.”

“This was the first year the whole company was invited,” Y/N told them. “I might send in a suggestion for new venues if that’s gonna be the standard for next year.”

“But-wait, you didn’t text each other to meet up at some point?” Wanda asked, clearly still confused.

Nat shrugged. “I mean, I did text, but by that time Y/N had already left.”

“I had to get home to give you the dress.”

Wanda stared for a minute. That was all she did. She’d even stopped fiddling with her phone. It was like she’d short circuited or something, and it started to scare her roommates when it went on for well over thirty seconds.

“What?” Y/N asked, brows creasing in part-frustration and part-concern.

“So you went alone to a black tie gala, then left early because I asked for the dress?” Wanda asked.

“Uh. Yeah. What’s wrong with that?”

“Did you do anything at the gala? Or did you just stand around in a crowd in that amazing dress?”

“Hey,” Nat called softly, nudging Wanda with her heel. “Chill.”

“I am chill,” she said back. “I’m just a little concerned…”

“Why?” Y/N asked, a certain kind of panic setting in. A voice in her head that sounded all too familiar - her stepmother’s voice - started filling in the gaps Wanda left behind. You have too much time, and I know just the way to fill it.

But a calmer voice inside told her that Wanda was nothing like that woman.

“You were so excited to go to the party,” Wanda said softly, scooting closer to Y/N so she could put her hand on her knee. “You deserved to have a good time.”

“Well it’s not like I just stood around,” Y/N defended. And then, a little absently, “Although, I probably would have if I’d actually gotten in line for the bar.”

Of course she’d gone to the gala hoping to see him, but from the moment of stepping through the doors and into the immense crowd, she’d basically given up on that hope. There were too many people to navigate around, so she’d set her sights on the bar in search of a distraction. Which then, that, too, had been dashed when she had found her Elevator Crush.

“Okay,” Wanda said, motioning for her to keep going. “So what did you do then?”

Y/N felt her face flush. She couldn’t stop the smile from forming on her face, even as she tried to hide it by covering her mouth with her hand. Her roommates both saw right through that; Nat got excited and nearly attacked Y/N to move her arm while Wanda sat up straighter and let it all happen.

“You met someone!” Nat insisted. And when Y/N made no other response but a long, drawn out whine, she said, “Oh my god, you did!”

The laughter she and Y/N let out then was undeniable. Unstoppable. Nat laughed because she was right (and so did Y/N), and Y/N laughed because the memory of dancing with her Elevator Crush - her Lightning Man - brought butterflies to her stomach.

“Dish! Tell us everything!” Wanda said, smiling as she moved to lean her elbow on the back of the couch and face both of her roommates.

Y/N figured there was no time like the present. And since she’d been caught, she may as well let it out. Maybe if she told her roommates, something out in the ether might hear and make things happen, she figured.

“I, uh. I met a guy on the elevator when I was leaving one day. But then I kinda freaked out on him and ran to the subway and just had a feeling I was never gonna see him again. But...I don’t know why I thought I’d find him at the gala, since I knew everyone was gonna be there, but I did. I just knew. And then he stepped on the dress and-”

“Wait,” Wanda cut in. “He did what?!”

“It was fine. Not a scratch on it.” Y/N shrugged, but she knew that part of the story wasn’t really nothing. Fine it might be, but it was of consequence when the two women with her now helped her pay for that dress. “He bent down to help me fix the dress but there was nothing on it. And I guess my mask wasn’t enough to really hide anything and he recognized me.”

“Holy shit,” Nat said.

Y/N had always thought that Natasha, for all her badassery and intelligence, was secretly a hopeless romantic when push came to shove. She smiled wider at the whispered curse, then went on.

“And then we danced. All night. We talked a little and he made me laugh and stuff. It was nice.”

“I feel like you’re downplaying this,” Wanda accused, but her tone was as teasing as the single raised brow thrown at Y/N. “I think you really like him!”

“Who is he?” Nat asked. “Maybe he knows Bucky!”

And that’s when Y/N’s stomach and heart both sank into her butt.

“Oh, uh. That’s kinda the thing.” She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to work herself up to tell her friends how foolish she’s been. Twice she’s met this man, twice he’s given her his time and attention (which she knows isn’t everything, but it is something), and twice she’s run off from him without giving him her name or asking for his.

“My phone went off before I got around to asking who he was. I had to get out of there to get the dress home in time for-”

“Oh no.” Wanda’s face blanched, and her expression went blank. “Oh honey, no, no! I would’ve understood!”

“But you needed the dress-“

Wanda put one hand each on Y/N’s shoulders, shaking gently as she said, “And you deserved to enjoy yourself and have a hot guy ogle you! Oh my god, Y/N, you totally could’ve stayed!”

“But we agreed-“

“Y/N, you’re the best and most noble friend anyone could ask for but god damn it, you should have stayed! You should've gotten his name and lived happily ever after and, for the record, I totally would’ve forgiven you for keeping the dress!”

She just stared at Wanda because, honestly, that kind of understanding didn’t compute. Y/N had never had friends like her current roommates before. She’d never shared something so lovely as that dress with anyone before, and she’d taken the responsibility of sharing very seriously. It had never occurred to her that she could apologize and ask for more just because she’d been given so little.

“What was he wearing, Y/N?” Nat asked, drawing both of her roommates’ attention to her.

She tried to remember. His suit had been nice, she could remember that much, but his eyes… The bright blue hue of them distracted her. She couldn’t recall what color the suit had been, no matter how hard she tried. To be fair, she hadn’t spent that much time looking at his suit,

But she had spent a decent amount of time looking at his face. His mask.

“He had on this gorgeous black and gold mask with this silver branch-like detailing,” she said, eyes drifting to the corner of the room as her memory sailed. “It kind of looked like...like lightning.”

Nat and Wanda watched the dreamy look on Y/N’s face. It was a glance they’d never seen on her before, but they liked what it implied. Wanda smiled back, and Nat’s jaw dropped as she reached for her phone.

“Ho-ly shit!” she said, hitting each syllable individually, popping up onto her knees energetically. “Holy shit holy shit holy shit!”

“What?” Wanda asked, sitting back a bit.

“I know who he is!” She fiddled with her phone for a second, and though neither of them noticed, no part of this conversation was bringing Y/N back from the lofty, far-off place she’d gone to.

She was busy remembering their dance, his hands on her, his laughter in her vicinity. The way he’d immediately recognized her. The fact that, for some reason, he didn’t blame her for running out of that elevator like he’d done something dangerous.

She liked him for all of it.

And right after realizing that, he was placed right in her line of sight. On Nat’s phone. Google Images popped up one after another, all of this tall blonde man and his incredible eyes. His indescribable smile. The easy way he carried himself, despite knowing he was on the large side of the human spectrum.

“Is this him?” Nat asked.

Y/N nodded. She looked up at the search bar.

Thor Odinson.

So that was his name.

“But- how did you know?” she asked, whipping her head toward Nat.

“He’s a friend of Bucky’s,” her roommate answered. “Like, a close friend, I think. They’re all part of this group of Stark directors and execs and I met him, I’m guessing before he ran into you.”

Thor. The name certainly suited him, and the mask made sense now.

“Oh my god, this is amazing! Y/N, I can tell Bucky you’re the elevator girl! He can help and-”

“No.”

Even she couldn’t believe she’d said it.

“Bu- What?” Nat asked, her face scrunching up.

Y/N stood to move away from her friends. Moving around the lovely, light memories of dancing and smiles was the fact that this man - Thor, her Elevator Crush - was an executive. Or, at least, a director of some office within the building. He was way, way above her, and if Jasper Sitwell had taught her anything, it was that reaching too far was dangerous.

No wonder she never saw him around. He was probably way too busy to deal with her on a regular basis.

But she couldn’t explain that to Nat, who had an answer prepared before Y/N realized a question had been asked.

“No,” she repeated. “It’ll be better if I find him,” she then lied. “But I appreciate the thought. Really.” She forced a smile, but all three women knew each other well enough to know it was as fake as the promise of looking for him was.

#thor fanfic #thor odinson x reader #thor x reader #Thor Odinson #touch every star #touch every star fic #cinderella au

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hyucksong · 5 years

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to all the boys i’ve loved before; nct dream

preview;

You yawned as you sat down hastily in your chair, spinning around for a few seconds before letting yourself come to a slow stop, facing your desk. It was barren and empty, all your belongings packed away either in suitcases or khaki brown cardboard boxes.

Your eyes settled on the seven letters that were tucked away in a little slot on your desk. They were left to be burned, but after reading a book about accidentally sent letters to past love interest, you were feeling a little cheeky. Maybe you could do that, but instead of accidentally screwing yourself over, you’d do it willingly. It was perfect, in your opinion. You’d be leaving the next morning, and all you’d have to do was shove them in the ’outgoing mail’ on your way out of the neighborhood. It was a scuff free plan, but even so you were a little nervous. After all, it is the digital age, they could really track you down any time of day. You’d just have to count on the impeccable laziness of the human race, and hope that god would strike you mercilessly before they found you.

Besides, you were sure that even if you sent out all seven of the letters, only one person would do anything about them, somehow. And while that thought alone was nerve-wracking, it was something college-you could overcome, they were supposed to be an adult after all.

So, with a satisfied tight-lipped smile, you turned off your desk lamp, and crawled into bed, ready to put stamps on the damned letters and send them out in the early wee-hours of the next day.

///

So, each member will have a one-part thingy. the first part will be the letter and random happenings between you and the member that made you fall for them and whatnot. then after all of the letters are done, i will write a little extra somethin’ somethin’ of you two somehow meeting and getting to know each other again :). like, the one post will have all seven members and you started anew, it’ll be small.

not my only work i’m working on, but they will be pretty simple...and i’m excited. so :)

links will be added as i finish these babies!

there’s zhong chenle;

one of my two childhood best friends. i fell for him the second he smiled at me, when i was six. it was love at first sight, but as a six year old, the workings of love were nonexistent to me. but as soon as i turned thirteen, and he left a wet kiss on my cheek to commemorate the ‘special day’, i realized what i was feeling. so i wrote about it. it was the start of the letters, and the start of a long, drawn out heart break -- because zhong chenle didn’t like me back. it would take years to get over him and his overly-friendly gestures, and i found that i still loved him even during the rest of my crushes. it sucked.

there’s lee donhyuck;

or as i called him (and all his close friends), haechan. i ran into him in my first detention on my first day of high school. he quipped back to a particularly stubborn teacher, and it had landed him in detention. all i did was be late to my first class. we ended up seeing each other many other times, because he always talked back, and i always overslept. we got real close over the first half of freshmen year, and i fell for his (unexpected) maturity. he knew what he wanted in life, and i...found it attractive. but i stopped talking to him once i saw him flirting with two girls in the same hour. i figured i was no different. but sometimes i wonder what would have happened if i kept snoozing my alarm.

there’s na jaemin;

or should i say the school’s most misunderstood person? people see him as a nonstop flirt machine, but since i had to tutor him in geometry in the second half of freshmen year (he was failing second semester), i only saw him as a space-case that couldn’t understand the pythagorean theorem. i would be lying if i said his kind words and lingering gaze didn’t affect me. and while i didn’t buy into all the rumors surrounding him, i was still hurt from haechan. so, i ignored him if i didn’t need to talk to him. i think it hurt him. he was so much more than the rumors, he was empathetic and charitable. i think i fell for that look he got on his face whenever he saw a picture of something cute. it was...gentle.

there’s lee jeno;

he was my chemistry partner in sophomore year. a lot of girls liked him, but i really couldn’t see why. yeah, he was cute, but he managed to spill three beakers of acidic acid during the same day. not very charming, if you ask me. i avoided him at all costs outside of school. but i always ran into him at the animal shelter i volunteered at. and...i think that’s when i fell for him. the way he treated other living things with such care and love...no wonder he and jaemin were best friends. i found that he was really affected by other people’s thoughts on him, it was his biggest flaw. i was by his side as he went through the motions of people hating him for no reason. i think we would have dated, but the timing wasn’t right. he was going through personal things, and...so was i. maybe i should’ve stayed by his side.

there’s park jisung;

the other childhood best friend. chenle, jisung, and i were inseparable. jisung was the only one that knew about my major crush on chenle, and he was always there to comfort me. it wasn’t until sophomore year, that i realized how much i was hurting him. because he was so much more in love with me than i was with him. i found myself confused on my feelings for him and jeno, and that’s why i didn’t date either of them. we...don’t talk much anymore. it’s too awkward. but even so, i wonder if i can ever find someone so giving and selfless as jisung. he gave himself up for others, and when i figured out how much he sacrificed for me...i think that’s when i fell for him. he...just really would give me the whole world. it hurts me to think that i...hurt him. sometimes i wish i -- nevermind. it doesn’t matter anymore.

there’s mark lee;

my first boyfriend. for all of junior year i (somehow) didn’t like anyone, not even chenle. he found his first love, and after that i fully moved on. jisung hung out exclusively with chenle and never with me. i was alone. but once mark lee walked through the doors in december during senior year as the transfer student from canada, and sat next to me; that would change. he made me forget every pain i’d ever had with any other crush, he made me smile, and made me feel like i was the only one that mattered. but, later i found out that i was...nothing special to him. he was using me as a rebound for his longtime girlfriend from back in canada that broke up with him. that hurt. when i found out, he was so sorry, but i couldn't really blame him. maybe he was my rebound for chenle. maybe it would’ve worked out if we both tried again, or even in a parallel universe. too bad i wasted a whole year on empty love.

and there’s huang renjun;

in the summer before me leaving for college, i met a simple boy in a music store. he was arguing about the best vocal legends, or something like that. i wasn’t really paying attention. instead, i zeroed in on the book he was holding, it was about famous paintings throughout the centuries. all i did was tap him on the shoulder and tell him i liked paintings too, and walked away deeper into the store. but after that i bumped into him everywhere, from the coffee shop, the library, and yes, the music store. we bonded over our strong opinions and love for the arts. this love was...different. it was slow and steady, i could talk to him about anything. i could lay with him across from me on the couch for hours, and never get bored. it felt like the long-lasting type of love. we were never ‘together’, but it felt like it. he had to leave for china for family reasons. we never really worked things out. maybe he’ll come back.

somehow, you see him again...

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sharkfish · 5 years

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ps i loved this one

(rereading bookmarks edition)

i’ve been rereading stories from my bookmarks as a comfort thing. i’m getting real deep in there to stuff i haven’t (re)read for years, and damn do i have good taste. the ones i’ve read recently that you should, too:

(under the cut so i’m not that asshole that makes you scroll past an endless post)

A Change of Scene by SurlyCat

When Dean goes over to see his Dom on Christmas Eve, he isn't expecting Cas to play naughty Santa, and neither of them is expecting how it turns out for them.

ooooomg fuck me up with that sex to lovers thing featuring bdsm. yessssss

A Room of His Own (or not) by Valinde (Valyria)

Dean took a deep breath and reassessed the situation. He was in bed with a guy, sure, and technically they were snuggling, but it was Cas. The guy had absolutely no reference on what was appropriate physical contact between two dudes sharing a bed in the... normal, completely unsexy, no-funny-business, way.

cas is fallen, dean is confused (what else is new), A+ cuddling. that’s the fic.

Boys On Film by LoversAntiquities @tragidean

But maybe that’s what it is—maybe Castiel’s finally realized something Dean is too chicken to admit, despite the fact he’s been jerking off to the idea of Castiel fucking him for the past few weeks. The idea warms him as much as it pains him to think about, his friend not being able to talk to him about something like that. That has to be it—it’s the only explanation. Castiel likes him.

“Or maybe he knows you do cam shows.”

Dean chokes on his burger.

idk what to say, i love a good sex worker fic and here you go. @tragidean is always here with that first-class content.

Castiel's Angel by Valinde (Valyria) @valinde

The angel took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. He was fidgeting Cas noticed. Usually he was so bizarrely at ease in his human form, lounging around and tossing winks and smirks at anyone with a pulse. That more than anything had Cas straightening on his stool and wishing he was a little less tipsy.

“Ineedyoutogroommywings,” Dean muttered in one long, almost unintelligible, string. He was blushing.

all my fellow wing hos should flock* to this fic. i also love me a good switcharoo with angel dean (and hunter cas, as this is an alternate canon universe). and dean gets all claim-y, which is also my jam.

*this was unintentional but a pretty funny joke

For Science! by pm_lo

Selected transcripts and supporting materials from Dr. Castiel Williams and Dean Winchester’s seminal study on physiological and psychological sexual response by gender designation.

i believe this was the first abo fic i added to my bookmarks. story time: many, many moons ago, i kept track of my reading list. i was doing that “50 books a year” thing so it was mostly for tracking that, but i had another tab for fics, because i read few enough that i could track them. i rated things and sometimes left notes, and by all the abo ones i was like “don’t tell anyone i read this.” yes, i shamed myself for liking abo. it was a dark time in my life.

anyway, then i read this, and was like, all right i can see what’s going on here.

this is a great fic for multiple reasons, and the format is one. it’s written as dialogue-only transcripts from their experiment. it’s hard to make that kind of format work, but pm_lo ain’t fucking around.

Just a Stranger On the Bus by Amelia_Clark

December 31 9:32 PM When Castiel boards the bus in KC, they think it’s empty at first—but when they toss their backpack onto an aisle seat and climb in after it, there’s a muffled yelp from the dimness at the back of the bus. They turn in time to see a man in a faded Carharrt jacket, sitting up and yawning as he rubs sleep out of his eyes. The man’s hair is greasy and matted down on one side, and there’s drool on the side of his face; nonetheless, he’s ridiculously good-looking.

“Hey man,” he says. Castiel does not correct him. “This can’t be Chicago.”

the non-binary tag, just like the trans tags in general, are a house half-built and left to rot in the rain. even if that wasn’t true, this series is goddamn amazing. also there’s rimming. also there’s a line in there that said something like “they don’t dislike their body, it just never felt like theirs” and i had a lightbulb moment irt my own experience. did dean ever wear carharrt in the actual series? if not, mistakes have been made.

Just Turn Around and Go by PorcupineGirl @porcupine-girl

Dean should be happy. His best friend and housemate of five years, Castiel, is moving out to live with his boyfriend, Balthazar. Dean's career is going great, so he can easily afford the house on his own now. This is just growing up, moving forward to the next phase of their lives.

It would be awesome, if he weren't in love with Cas.

Well, here we go, he thinks as he opens the refrigerator and digs around for sandwich supplies. First day of the rest of your life. Time to move the fuck on. As he slams his meat and mayo and pickles down on the counter, he considers adding the bottle of whiskey he knows is hiding in the cabinet, but decides that he has enough self-respect to wait 'til five. Then he'll get fucking blackout drunk. Yep. Awesome.

y’all, do i even have to say anything about this? roommates to friends to a pathetic amount of pining without saying shit to disgustingly in love. also i think i cried, but i’ve been in tears so many times in the last week, who’s to say.

Plus One by ceeainthereforthat @ceeainthereforthat

Castiel Novak might have to attend three weddings in two months, but he’s not about to let his brother play matchmaker. His family’s Internet streaming company is too important to let a relationship steal his time, but he knows exactly what to do–hire someone to pretend to be his boyfriend.

Dean Winchester has worked five-star hospitality long enough to know how to fit in with Castiel’s crowd, and this job could score him the connections to make his acting career take off. It’s a business deal, no matter how they’re drawn to each other. When the lines of their contract start to blur into real feelings, can they withstand Castiel’s family and jealous fans working to split them up?

there are a lot of great fake dating stories out there, but this one takes the cake (or, at least, a slice of it). also, i cried a lot rereading this, both “ohhh god i love their love” tears and also “ohhhh god this hurts so bad” tears.

Should've Just Asked by Annie D (scaramouche)

Despite their age gap and differing social circles, Castiel has struck up a warm friendship with Mary Winchester, a wealthy widowed socialite. When Castiel needs a place to stay, Mary invites him into her house, where there’s loads of spare room. Castiel’s aware that they make an odd pair, but he doesn’t fully realize how things look to outsiders, especially to Mary’s eldest son. All Dean Winchester sees is that his mom has apparently hooked up with a hot young guy (who is totally Dean’s type) and that makes things… weird.

they’re both oblivious idiots in love, cas is grey-ace, dean’s a total dork, it’s all just very lovely (and frustrating in the way oblivious idiots can be!!!).

PS - annie d is writing marvel fic lately and i’m sure it’s fantastic if you’re into that kind of thing.

Support Your Local Gay Beekeeper by Powerfulweak

It’s not like Dean goes on Grindr very often, just when he’s bored and alone. The blue-eyed guy's profile reads "Beekeeper, 29, 5'10, Single, I watch the bees." Dean is intrigued. He has to send a message.

this is a series that starts with some great phone sex and then goes on to very, very awkward sex injuries. a goddamn cringefest that had me in complete horror imagining it. but it’s fun! they persevere! people so rarely write about Sex Going Wrong and i love @powerfulweak for taking the bullet for us on that one.

Take Me Home Tonight by Persephoneshadow @persephoneshadow

“Come on, we’re finding you someone to…engage with sexually or whatever,” Dean explains, chancing another swig of beer before going on. “Anyone in this bar, no limits, who would you would be your top choice to bang?” “Well, you, ideally.” Dean spits out some beer before collapsing in on himself, legitimately choking this time. “Excuse me?!” ---- Or the one where Cas wants to have sex and Dean is there to help.

your classic denialist “i’ll be your wingman” turning to “actually imagining someone else touching you makes me want to punch someone.” which is dumb, because cas actually wanted dean all along.

Words with Friends by betts

"Dean Winchester is as straight as an arrow. He’s a lady’s man of epic proportions: the king of the one night stand, the messiah of the friends with benefits paradigm, the emperor of perpetual bachelorhood.

Except, apparently, when it comes to his best friend, Castiel Novak."

***

Wherein a longstanding acquaintanceship leads to friendship, then best friendship, then sexting, then dirty talk, then mutual masturbation, then, inevitably, fucking.

look i think you’re always in good hands with @bettsfic. but this one has some good sexting and phone sex right at the start, which i’m totally into, and then it gets even better. cas is a lil bossy, by which i meant to say he’s the kind of bdsm geek who has equipment installed in his bedroom for sex purposes.

You're The Only Stranger I Need by lyndsie_l

When Castiel receives a text from a stranger, he finds himself engaging in conversations daily. He's drawn to the outgoing college student and longs to interact with the other man as often as he can. Slowly, he finds himself falling in love with the other and can't imagine ever meeting a more beautiful person.

The only problem?

He's never actually met this other man.

be still my heart! a long distance/texting/phone sex thing! i want to read it again right this second. cas is such a cool nerd, dean is a brat, it’s a good time all around.

if you enjoy these fics (and you should), please give the writer some love via kudos and/or comments. <3

ps - as always, if i didn’t tag the writer and you know their tumblr, please tag in the comments. i don’t think there’s a writer alive who wouldn’t be happy to be on a rec list. :)

#sharkrecs #sharklist

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marril96 · 5 years

Text

The Distance Between Us

Chapter 32: Mother Knows Best

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: Rowena and her mother have some well-earned bonding time.

Editor: @miss-moon-guardian

*****

Rowena had expected a fiasco since she'd first stepped foot onto the school grounds this morning.

She'd expected an even bigger one when her friends — when Fergus and, eventually, you — confronted Lucifer.

Nothing, though, could have prepared her for the thunderstorm that was her mother.

The outbursts weren't strange to Rowena. She remembered the epic fights her mother and her poor excuse of a father — if that wanker could even be called that — got into quite vividly. She remembered the absolute scorn on her mother's face back in December when details of her and Lucifer's relationship came to light and the reality of what, exactly, had caused her bruises came crashing down. Remembered the madness in her mother's voice, the pure, unadulterated rage, as she spewed threats of police and media and lawsuits at the cowering principal Shurley.

Hell hath no fury like Fiona MacLeod scorned.

This time, she'd gone off the rails.

While Rowena was mad at Ms. Hanscum for taking her, you, and Lucifer to the principal's office, she had to admit the teacher was fair. She'd given you the chance to sort the issue out. Though, unfortunately, the damage Lucifer had caused was too great for a simple conversation to fix.

Bruises she'd healed.

Humiliation, degradation… they would take a while to fade, if they ever did.

She'd been through it before; she knew how it worked. A reputation like that, however false and out of context, never quite went away. Most people may have stopped talking about it in public, but they knew. They knew, and many of them wondered and passed judgment because if there was smoke, there was bound to be fire, no matter how ludicrous the rumors were.

Rowena meant what she'd said — she could deal with it. She was no stranger to people whispering about her, calling her names behind her back, making senseless assumptions. She'd lived through it once, and she could do so again.

All she needed was for them to leave her alone.

They had a right to their opinions, however wrong they were. They had a right to speculate and badmouth her as soon as she turned her back.

She just asked that they not do it in her face.

It had taken her hours to make all her social media accounts private and delete the awful comments the night before. Her phone remained turned off; she didn't have it in her to click it to life to messages staring straight at her, accusatory, judgmental, cruel for the sake of being cruel. She could live without a phone for a few days, until she got a new number.

Her mother, on the other hand, was livid.

Principal Shurley's apologies fell on deaf ears as she screamed — actually screamed — in his face, her face ripe red, a bomb on the verge of explosion. Rowena was certain the entire school had heard her mother's shrill voice tearing into the Principal without a shred of mercy, with the same conviction and vigor Lucifer had put into ruining her reputation, into ruining her.

The Principal, to his credit, didn't know about the harassment and had promised to put a stop to it. He could try; he could get the posts down and threaten the bullies with detention, but nothing could make the rumors disappear.

People's minds couldn't be changed that easily.

For the remainder of the school year, Rowena would be a whore, a cheater, and a baby killer.

She wasn't ashamed of any of it. It hurt to have it shoved in her face so cruelly, but she stood behind her actions.

She wasn't going to apologize for surviving.

Her mother, bless her heart, shared the sentiment. Rowena was worried she would cast a bit of judgment of her own, or, at the very least, be disappointed in her for keeping it to herself, but, aside from a surprised tilt of her head at the news, her mother stood right by her.

Principal Shurley had almost had to fall to his knees to get her to not call the police. He'd promised the posts would be taken down and Lucifer would be punished, and, as a final plea, made plans to hold an assembly on bullying and harassment. If, afterwards, Rowena had any issues, she was free to contact him, he'd said. He would happily take care of the problem.

As if it was that easy.

As if one assembly could stop people from whispering "whore" behind her back for the rest of the semester.

Her mother still wasn't happy, but Rowena told her it was okay. She just wanted this mess to be over. She was tired of everything; of the Principal, of Lucifer's smug smirk even as his father chastised him, of you being forced to witness the entire charade under the threat of detention for "attempting to start a fight," when all you did was try to defend her.

After all was said and done, Rowena was given the rest of the day off. She'd spent it in her room, curled up on the bed in front of an old movie, one of those classics she always turned on for comfort.

She watched as the thick flakes of snow rained upon the street, and all she could think about was you. If you were okay. If, after she'd left, you'd gotten the stares and whispers in her place.

It was a miracle you still wanted to be with her. It couldn't have been easy to associate with someone with her kind of reputation. She wouldn't have blamed you one bit if you decided to break it off.

There was only so much a person could take.

Was love enough in situations like this?

It was a powerful emotion, overwhelming, but, unlike what the movies and books said, it wasn't absolute.

You were under no obligation to sink to the bottom with her.

A knock on the door shook her from her thoughts. "You alright, hon?" her mother's voice, thick with concern, came from the other end.

"Aye," she replied.

As alright as she could be, considering the day she'd had.

She wasn't bruised and battered this time. That had to count for something.

"Can I come in?"

She rolled her eyes, not in the mood for mother-daughter time, but still said, "Aye."

Her mother peered inside, then stepped into her room gently, tentatively, as if she were walking through a minefield. Her eyes fell on Rowena, looked her over in that typical worried mother way Rowena had always found overbearing.

"What are you watching?"

"Nothing," she said and shut the laptop. The end credits were rolling anyway.

Her mother shuffled her feet awkwardly. She took a small breath, and Rowena, well accustomed to that expression on her face, prepared for the inevitable. "Can we talk?"

"I'd rather not."

Not now, and not ever.

There were some things she couldn't talk to her about. Things that weren't for her, or anyone but you, to hear.

Her mother gave a nod, an honest one. "Okay," she said and meant it. She could be annoying, but she never pushed her children. Never forced them into unpleasant, uncomfortable situations. "Would you be okay with listening? I've a few things I'd like to say."

No, Rowena thought, but, with a shrug, said, "Whatever." The sooner she got it over with, the better.

"Is it okay if I sit?" her mother asked, looking down at the bed.

Rowena gave a small nod, though she wasn't the biggest fan of that, either. Her mother took a seat beside her feet, and all she could think about was that it was too close. Way, way too close.

The MacLeod family wasn't big on feelings. They rarely saw each other as it was, with mother working long hours, Crowley constantly heading out, and Rowena doing her own thing. They were a family in name only, really.

At best, their cohabitation could be described as symbiosis.

There was love, yes, and genuine affection, but they didn't show it.

They didn't have the time.

And, more importantly, pride didn't let them.

It certainly didn't let Rowena.

It took her a while to admit to herself she was in love with you, and even longer to say it to your face. Were it not for the confrontation the two of you had gotten into, she wouldn't have blurted it out anytime soon.

Her mother took a few moments to compose her thoughts into words, and what she said threw Rowena off balance. "I'm proud of you."

Rowena's chest tightened, heart burst into a sprint.

Where was this coming from?

Considering the stress she'd put the poor woman through lately, pride was the last thing she expected.

Disappointment?

Maybe.

Anger?

Definitely.

But pride?

Not in a thousand years.

Her mother continued, "You've grown into a marvelous young woman, and I've completely missed it. I look at you, and all I see is that wee girl with chubby cheeks and messy hair. But that's not you anymore. I know that now."

There was a wistfulness to her tone, a heartbreaking nostalgia.

"Don't get me wrong — you'll always be my precious wee girl, but you're also so much more. I'm sorry I didn't realize that sooner."

Her hand reached for Rowena's. Rowena squeezed back, a left-over childhood instinct to hold her mother's hand tight and never, under any circumstances, let go.

Her mother was right — she was still that wee girl she used to be. She was grown now, but a part of her never left, and would always stay. A reminder of the innocence long gone.

"I should have been there for you. In Scotland. You shouldn't have been alone."

Scotland.

Right.

The harassment.

The abortion.

Everything bad she'd sworn to never go through again, only to make the same mistake and end up right at the start.

"I should have noticed."

"I was only a few weeks along," Rowena said. A small attempt at comfort.

"You're my baby," her mother said, adamant, decisive. "I should've known."

No.

She should not have.

Rowena had hidden it with a reason.

She hadn't wanted pity, and, though she knew deep down her mother would never turn her back on her, she didn't want to risk being told she couldn't do it.

Not that she would have listened; she would have had that abortion one way or the other, but the thought of her mother — the one person who was supposed to love her, to be on her side — being disappointed in her, looking at her as if she were a murderer… It broke her heart.

She'd had no one. No friends, no boyfriend anymore. No shoulder to cry on. And, with the whole mess with her father going on, the last thing she wanted was to lose her mother as well.

Willful loneliness was better than stone-cold rejection.

"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn't tell me." Her mother's eyes brimmed with tears; a few slid down her rosy cheeks, quickly wiped away with the sleeve of her shirt. "I know I was in a bad place after what happened with your father, and I'm always at work these days, but you're my child. You come first. Whatever is going on, you can tell me. I mean it — whatever. I will never, ever judge you."

Bloody hell!

Rowena's own eyes filled with tears. She willed them back, tried her hardest to regain her composure.

It was just a conversation.

She wasn't a sap.

"Okay," she simply said, and it took everything in her to hold her voice together.

Maybe, a traitorous thought crept up to her mind, she was a sap.

A very, very wee one.

Miniscule.

Her mother's lips widened into a smile. "If anybody else gives you trouble, tell me. I'll gladly put them in their place."

Because that was exactly what Rowena needed — for her mother to fight her battles.

That was a tad cruel, though, wasn't it?

Her mother cared about her, loved her.

What was wrong with that?

She would become known as mama' s girl, but that wasn't any worse than her current reputation.

Did it even matter?

What did she care about what some random Moira thought about her?

At least, she thought a tad smugly, her mother gave a damn about her.

The same couldn't be said for the majority of her peers' parents.

Rowena allowed a smile to bloom on her face. "I'll try."

Her mother beamed. Then, clearing her throat, said, "You and Y/N — is it true?"

Here came the awkward questions.

Rowena's face flushed ripe tomato red. She nodded.

It elicited a smile from her mother, big and bright. Happy to the bone. "She's a good lass."

"She is," Rowena agreed.

More than good.

You were everything to her.

One of the few people who gave her a chance. Who allowed herself to be her friend, to love her as she was without trying to change her.

Her miracle.

Whatever the future held, she would forever remain grateful to you.

What you'd done for her — what you'd given her, and kept giving her — would never be forgotten.

"She seems to care about you a lot," her mother said.

You have no idea. "She does. She's… kind to me."

Kinder than she would have been to herself if she were in your shoes.

After everything she'd done, she didn't deserve a second chance.

And yet…

"You feel the same, I suppose."

Rowena's cheeks couldn't get any redder. Her skin was hot enough to burn.

This wasn't the kind of thing one admitted to their parent. Or talked about. Or mentioned at all.

She cleared her throat, sucked in a small breath, and nodded.

She loved you. Goodness, she loved you. So much it sometimes hurt to be away from you.

She loved you so much she couldn't imagine her life without you.

There was a time, not too long ago, she thought it made her weak.

If it did, she never wanted to be strong again.

"Why don't you invite her over for dinner sometime?" her mother suggested, pleased by the response.

That was just what she needed — her girlfriend having dinner with her mother.

As if your relationship wasn't cliche enough.

There wasn't anything inherently wrong with it; her mother's liking of you was no secret, and you, awkward as you were, didn't seem to think anything ill of her.

Still, it was strange.

It made the relationship official. Serious.

Which it was, but to acknowledge it like that…

She wasn't sure she was ready for that.

"We'll see," Rowena said. If I'm ready was the unspoken addition.

It was enough for her mother. "I've got something for you." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a grayish-green bill.

A — Rowena realized, unable to conceal the surprise on her face — hundred dollar bill.

Her mother smiled. "I got a wee bonus at work."

Rowena was stunned. "Are you sure? What about—"

Bills?

Food?

She wasn't one to turn down free money, but she knew their situation wasn't as ideal as she preferred to think. They weren't poor, but they weren't rich, either. Far from it, in fact.

Their mother, working two jobs, always made sure she and Fergus had enough money for outings, generous as she was.

But a hundred dollars?

"Don't worry. Like I said, this is a bonus. I gave Fergus his share earlier, when he was heading out," her mother explained. "Gavin will be getting a wee toy tomorrow. And this—" she glanced down at the bill in her hand "—is yours."

A bonus, and her mother's first thought was handing it to her children.

Rowena's heart swelled with warmth, with love that made her chest ache.

She took the bill. Folded it up neatly and clasped her hands around it, almost protectively. "Thank you."

Her mother grinned. "Anything for my girl. It's Valentine's Day soon — why don't you take Y/N out someplace nice? Or buy yourself something lovely?"

A Valentine's Day date sounded like a marvelous idea.

Rowena already had a place in mind. A perfect thank you for standing by her, for never leaving her side. For loving her through everything bad.

"I just might," she said, smiling brightly, happily for the first time today.

"Great! Her mother's eyes fell on her discarded phone on the bedside table. "You need a new number, right?"

Rowena's face fell, gloom back with a vengeance.

"I'll take care of that for you tomorrow, when I go out with Gavin. Until then, you can use my phone, if you want. I assume you'd like to call or message Y/N?"

She perked right back up, like a flip of a switch.

They may not have hung out much, but her mother knew her so well.

"Thank you," she said again, and meant it from the bottom of her heart.

Today wasn't so bad, after all.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @shadowgirl-vsb @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @a-queen-and-her-throne @carryon-doctor-lock

#rowena #rowena macleod #spn #supernatural #spn family #rowena x reader #fanfiction #my fics #high school au

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damdahdi-studies · 5 years

Text

exam season

the last 2 weeks have been exam season. leading up to exams i ran week-long blocks of distracting websites on my mac, so I haven’t been able to get on tumblr.... so finally updating now: (more like ranting.)

one math exam left, on thursday morning

exams so far have been.... okay. none of them i feel particularly good about, but overall i think i managed to deal with the stress/anxiety better this semester than last, just a little bit

some nice things that happened before exams:

100% in Chinese speaking mock exam, listening and writing section of written mock exam. i didn’t really realise it until i looked back on my old posts and read how i felt after first set of exams just now, but i have come ... maybe not a long way, but some kind of way :] at the time i was very insecure about just myself and barely believed i could improve on my own; yet i did to a standard i never could’ve dreamed even start of this year.

somehow obtained 90% in an oral presentation i made about The Crucible by Arthur Miller. i still don’t know how I did it, but I’m glad i improved from the 60s i got last semester in presentations. public speaking still felt like hell though

top female scorer in my state for some maths competition. also have no idea how i did this, i thought i would get distinction at best.

changed piano teachers (previous teacher recommended the new one)

dress for year 12 ball next year arrived. it’s a soft grey pretty thing

my birthday was during exam season :/

also first set of my own prayer beads arrived. have been using them daily since

reflecting on each subject: (so I can read back on this after i get my marks back and be like haha.... you fool.)

Literature: better than last time is all i can say... it was okay (still felt like hell during the exam because it’s Literature) managed time during exam slightly better, I didn’t panic as much, but that’s about it lmao i’m crossing my fingers for a low 70s and double crossing for an A. i wasn’t able to or simply didn’t contribute much effort/time to literature this semester, so a B wouldn’t really be a fuck-i-tried-so-hard-why-did-i-get-this-grade kind of punch in the gut, but it would be really nice to not break an all A streak... but I highly suspect I will get a B

Methods (maths): exam was harder than i expected. hoping for a 90s though, a mark that wont bring my average down. i think i was best prepared for methods compared to other subjects, emphasis on COMPARED to other subjects. -_-

Physics: ahh physics. a whole debacle happened during the exam, please see below. other than that the exam was... kind of expected difficulty? which is difficult, but it wasn’t terrible-terrible. i’m hoping for an 80s. i really can’t hope for much, i was probably delirious half the time. i did manage to ‘finish’ (attempt every question) though i wish i got more time... i couldn’t double check many questions and there was this one question i wanted to spend more time on but oh well...

summary: i threw up once before the exam, twice during.

ate a blueberry bagel with cream cheese, with some salmon on top for breakfast. looking back, it was probably the salmon.

didn’t feel good after. got to school feeling pretty sick in the stomach and a pretty bad headache.... which escalated to one of the worst headaches ive had in the last 3 years in 20 minutes

at this point i could tell something was wrong and that i was about to throw up

went to the toilet, tried to throw up whatever was causing pain to my body, but couldn’t. only ended up scaring away some poor kid in the next cubicle

FIRST TIME: left toilet. sit still for 10 minutes outside, feeling progressively worse. go back to the toilet, then throw up a lot. gargle, wash face, go back to find everyone filing into the exam room.

feeling slightly better at this point since ive thrown up (i thought i had emptied most of my stomach by then. spoiler alert: no) and decide internally to just do the exam. (if i don’t, then i would have to fill out some form, probably do the exam way later. too annoying)

SECOND TIME: so i sit the exam. 5-6 minutes into reading time, i feel another wave of throwing up coming. i raise my hand, i’m at the very back of the hall, so examiner takes a bit to notice. my brainwashed ass brain thinks i can’t stand up and leave without the examiners spoken permission, so i persist in sitting in my seat for around 10 seconds until she’s there, i’m already throwing up in my mouth at this point. finally something snaps and i make a break for the toilet, but it’s too late and i throw up all over the floor. in the exam hall. Fuck. i immediately apologise on the spot.

examiner leads me to toilet. i throw up some more. gargle, wash face. she asks me to step outside for a couple of minutes for fresh air and i do. 5 minutes later she comes back and asks me if i want to continue the exam. i say yes. we go back in, the vomit is gone from the floor. she moves my seat closer to the exit, and tells me i can bolt out whenever i need to throw up. i sit the exam.

some time after this, the other examiner leaves a vomit bag next to me just in case

THIRD TIME: an hour in? i feel another wave coming. i grab the vomit bag, make a dash for the toilets but the stupid old door won’t open properly. the examiner helps me open the door and i throw up in the toilets, in the vomit bag this time. it’s not as much as the previous two times. tie up the bag, throw it in the bin, gargle, wash face.

instinctively i feel that this is the last time i’ll throw up, that i’ve truly emptied everything from my stomach this time. headache is way weaker at this point.

go back in and examiner asks me if i’m really sure i want to continue the exam, whether or not if i want to fill in a form excusing myself from the exam. i say no.

about an hour left in the exam, which i sit in utter peace

didn’t get any extra time.

apologised to some people around me after the exam while filing out of the hall... i suffered but they did too.

went home and drank some stomach soothing tea. slept

ate porridge for the next 2 days.

Chemistry: it was.... okay. i did finish and attempt every question. there were a couple of questions in multiple choice i was iffy about and a question in short answer i was like um... what? to, but other than that it was.... eh. i didn’t study much for it, so whatever mark i get i deserve. if i do defend myself it was 3 days after the shit show that was the physics exam, and i felt sick for at least a day after.... but yeah. should’ve tried more.

during reading time, the examiner who saved my life put the vomit bag on my desk in the physics exam came and asked me if i was feeling better

i said i’m feeling good thanks : )

like an hour later? i feel sickness coming. not stomach this time, just general sickness. somehow i get a fever and subsequently, the FLU in the middle of the chem exam-

i highly suspect i got it from the examiner

come back home to find out that i really do have a fever

this was yesterday. yes i’m sick now. like, more sick.

Chinese: this was today. i’m still kind of too traumatised to reflect on it properly. Chinese is the only subject that ive studied the yr 12 course for this year, so this exam really counts. like 35% of my final grade counts kind of counts. and i did pretty bad. like pretty bad. it was definitely more difficult than the mock exams, and the recordings in listening section were quicker than previous years. the writing section was... traumatising while writing i kind of had a wave of anxiety/panic hit me? i could feel my heartbeat my face was burning and i started sweating ;-; and even the reading section, which is usually okay, was a bit hard. i’ll get the marks back and my final grade for this subject in December - we’ll see until then. got a slightly overdue birthday present before the exam tho :)

So yup. that’s my exam season. i’m typing this instead of studying for my maths exam day after tomorrow but hey, i’m sick and need rest, right?

overall, these exams i managed to keep control of my stress a bit better, i wasn’t so overwhelmed like last time. last semester i could barely live, literally. this time i made the habit of living at the library which i found really helpful and comparatively productive, i’ll definitely be using that strategy more often. i’m just glad i managed to study SOMETHING or prepare for exams explicitly this time, because i was simply too overwhelmed to do that last time. i improved. maybe not by much, maybe it doesn’t seem like much, but it’s better than none...

i’m not saying i don’t have regrets or shortcomings in these exams. i definitely do. DeFinITEly. but doesn’t mean i didn’t improve. i did improve. just, maybe not as much as i wanted.

i really learned to the bone this time that learning during the semester is so, so important. i think that’s just a wisdom i’ll have to carry through the rest of my academic career.

wish me luck for my maths exam on Thursday

my friends and ive already planned an outing for after the exams :)

also getting overdue birthday presents next monday! :D

#exam #high school #student #exam season #exams #study #studying #studyblr #chinese #sick #mental health #stress #overwhelmed #anxiety

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mirkwoodshewolf · 6 years

Text

New Year with the band; Queen x reader

Hello people of Tumblr and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I was hoping to have had this done last night but time got away from me so I finished it this morning and so for my first fic of 2019 I present to you another part of my Rock Angel series. This is a pre-Rock Angel fic right here so this is counted before “Set it all free” when you the reader are still the intern to Miami. And after seeing Bohemian Rhapsody for the 2nd time last night, I just had to do this fic and I may have another chapter up soon, hopefully. Anyways I hope 2019 is a great year for everyone and that everyone stayed safe after last night and are taking care of themselves post-New Year celebration.

Warnings: None except for INSANE FLUFFY FEELS.

Taglist *open*:

@phantom-fangirl-stuff

@onebigfangirlworld

@mr-badguymercury

@labessieisallama

@starswin

@naturalswifty89

@isabella-bby

_____________________________________________________

*December 31st, 1980*

This has been a crazy three months and here I am in Freddie Mercury’s house with a whole bunch of strangers plus the rest of the band and their wives to ring in the New Year. Of course Adam didn’t want to come even though I tried to convince him to come, but he said that he was just too cool to be around a band like Queen.

It was 15 minutes till midnight and 1981 would soon be here. I was at the food table trying to get a second plate of brownies and basically fill up on sugar to keep myself awake. Most of the people were already hammered beyond anything else so I had to walk over some of their unconscious bodies till I finally reached the guys.

“Ahh there’s our best girl!” Freddie praised at he held his glass up almost as if he were giving a toast.

“Oh stop it Fred, I literally just saw you five seconds ago.”

“Five very long seconds.” He whined as I playfully shoved his shoulder.

“Isn’t that your second batch of sweets already?” asked Brian.

“Sugar keeps me up, otherwise I’d be asleep in the corner hours ago after all that I’ve been through this semester.” I said.

“But I thought you loved us? Guess we were nothing but a stress factor to you then huh?” Deacy snapped clearly teasing me as I noticed a glimmer of mischief in his eyes.

“No, no, no, no don’t you guilt me Deacy! You know I love you guys! This has literally been the best semester I’ve had, I just can’t believe in a couple more months I’ll be done and then I won’t see you guys till your next tour before Miami clears my internship credit.”

“I can’t believe you’ll be leaving us after our tour, I feel like you should stay here with us even after the tours done. I’d miss you too much darling.” Freddie said as he leaned over and hugged me close to him before kissing my cheek.

“In all seriousness love, maybe you should cut back on the sweets, you’ll crash faster if you keep eating sugar, take some of these,” he then handed me a couple of his celery sticks and baby carrots. I looked at him with a ‘seriously’ look as I said.

“Really? Veggies Bri?”

“Less you want cavities for the new year I suggest you eat those. Otherwise I’ll have Dr. Taylor here take a look at your mouth since he studied dentistry.”

“Wait for real?” I asked as I turned around and faced him.

“This whole time we’ve known each other and you never once bothered to listen to what I did in school. Really (y/n) what kind of friend are you?” Roger said in a mocked hurt tone. I threw my baby carrot at him which made all of us laugh and we continued to chat till the midnight hour drew closer.

Time sure does go by when you’re having fun with friends because now as everyone gathered to watch the ball drop live from New York City. We were just 2 minutes away to ring in the New Year and as everyone began the countdown, the anticipation was growing as it got closer and closer.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!” Everyone cried out as horns were blown, confetti was thrown in the air and couples kissed each other to ring in the New Year. Bri, Rog and Deacy kissed their wives to celebrate the new year, Freddie was off god knows where by now meanwhile I just sat there alone.

I sure wish Adam was here to ring in the New Year. I mean he used to be romantic at first at the start of our relationship, always buying my flowers and leaving little poems every time he’d leave the flat, but now for some reason he thought the romantic gestures were too corny and lame for him all of a sudden, could threaten the new “Rock” image he’s been trying out.

So I secretly knew even if I did bring him, he wouldn’t go for a New Year’s kiss. Which sucked because the believer of romance that I am, I always thought sharing a kiss with the person you loved, meant you’d have a full successful relationship in the years to come.

At least that’s what I always saw in my parents every New Years.

I sighed solemnly and decided to stop out of the craziness of the party and just have a moment to myself. I sat along outside in the garden of Freddie’s house along the bench and just stared up into the sky.

“Happy New year mum and dad. I sure wish you could be here to see it.” I said to myself solemnly.

“Something wrong love?” I heard Deacy’s voice say. I turned around and saw the guys standing behind me all looking at me with concern.

“No, not really. At least anything serious.” I said.

“You sure?” They all came and sat around me. Deacy to my left, Brian to my right, Roger sitting in front of me and Freddie standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders every now and then squeezing them assuringly or massaging them.

“Yes, I promise guys nothing’s wrong just….missing my parents is all.”

“While we can see that’s true, there’s something else going on too. You got a little awkward once people started kissing each other, is this because of Arsehole?” Roger said. I looked at him and said.

“His name’s Adam Rog,”

“Is there a difference?” he questioned. I scoffed at him shaking my head softly.

“I don’t know guys, I thought that maybe I could for the first time get a New Year’s kiss with the first boy whom I’ve ever allowed into my heart ever since my parents died. Oh if only you guys first knew him you’d know he was romantic like you lot are, but lately he’s just called off anything that could damage his ‘badass hard rock exterior’. I don’t know, maybe I’m just a sap.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a romantic. Neither gender should feel shame for being or hoping for a little romantic gesture in their life. Take me for example, the best guitarist of the greatest band. Makes his wife breakfasts in bed even when it’s not Mother’s Day or her birthday. I do it because I love her.” Brian said.

“And me, silent bassist John Deacon. I wrote ‘You’re my best friend’ for Veronica. Because that’s who she is and will always be to me. Not just the love of my life, but also my greatest and most treasured friend.”

“And even though we’ve broken off the engagement, Mary will still always be the love of my life. No matter what, which is why I wrote Love of my life for her, because that is who she is and will always be to me. Even though we’re no longer romantically involved with each other.” Said Freddie.

“And even though I’ve gained the reputation for ‘bad drummer boy of Queen’, for Dominque I’m willing to do anything for her. Whether its treating her to a spa day or even a day off from the kids.”

“And that’s what makes your wives and Mary so lucky to have met guys like you. I….just wish I had that guy now.”

“You will love, one day.” Deacy said as he gently placed his hand on the top of my shoulder and gently stroked it with his thumb.

“Until then you still got us, in fact.” Freddie cupped my face and had me look up at him and he kissed both my cheeks and continued, “Consider that your New Year’s kiss from me to you, darling angel.” I smiled up at him as he released my face from his hands. I then felt my head turn towards Deacy and he said.

“Happy New Year poppet, here’s my kiss from me to you.” He then kissed my temple before I felt him lean his face against mine giving me an additional butterfly kiss. He backed away as Brian said.

“Don’t forget about me,” I turned towards him and he cupped my face much like Freddie did. He first leaned in and gave me a soft Eskimo kiss as his forehead touched mine which always made me feel safe and loved. He then gingerly kissed the center of my forehead and it was then I turned to Roger.

He grinned up at me and said.

“You know the drill, get into these arms you little imp.” I grinned at him before getting off the bench and hugged Roger. His strong arms wrapped around me instantly giving me a big, warm bear hug as I liked to secretly call them.

I felt him repeatedly kiss the top of my head and felt him rub my back. But then I felt him starting to poke and lightly pinch around my sides, oh shit not again!

“Rog no!”

“No you’ve ended last year with a frown, when you should’ve been smiling. So that’s my first New Year’s resolution, to get you to smile.” He said with a mischievous grin as he kept tickling me. I squirmed around trying to escape Roger’s grip but it was iron clamped.

“Rog….stohahahp!”

“Nah I don’t think so.” He said as he kept tickling me.

“You know Rog, I think you and I are sharing the exact same resolution.” Deacy say.

“No! Nohohoh Deacy don’t…..NOO!!” Soon I had both Roger and Deacy tickling me.

“For being total opposites, seems they’ve agreed on one thing.” I could hear Brian say.

“Indeed.” Stated Freddie.

“But who says they get to have all the fun?” suggested Brian. As I kept trying to escape from both Rog and Deacy, suddenly I felt four more pair of hands start to tickle me.

“Guhahahahys stohahahahhap you’re kihihihihlling me!!!”

“Will you start off the New Year with a smile little angel?” Freddie asked.

“YES!! YEHEHEHESS!! JUST PLEHEHEHEASE STOHAHAHP!!” And with that the tickling ceased. I panted heavily trying to regain my breathing and I said, “You guys are devils I swear.”

“Well that was rather rude darling.” Freddie said.

“Does that require punishment lads?” Brian asked.

“I say it does.” Stated Roger.

“Agreed.” Said Deacy. The four of them looked at me ready to start tickling me again when I shouted.

“No! No! No! No! No I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Okay I’m sorry I surrender!” They all smirked at me laughing softly. I then looked at them and said, “Thanks for cheering me up though guys.”

“No problem love, we’re always here for you when you need us.” Brian said as he gently stroked my hair.

“Happy New Year, my four best boys.”

“Happy New Year, our little rock angel.” Freddie said. I smiled at them and I went up to them and the four of them brought me to the center once more but instead of a tickle attack, it was a Queen group hug.

1980 was a roller coaster year for me, but the best thing that came out of it was the fact that a girl like me, an ordinary college intern music student got to call the biggest band in all of History, my family.

Hell I can’t even imagine what 1981 was going to bring that could make this year seem just like any ordinary year.

#bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody imagines #bohemian rapsody movie #bohemian rhapsody imagine #bohem!rhap x reader #bohemian rhapsody x reader #roger taylor #brian may #freddie mercury #john deacon #roger taylor x reader #brian may x reader #freddie mercury x reader #john deacon x reader #queen #queen imagine #queen imagines #queen fanfiction

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chogiwank · 6 years

Text

Milkshake Boy - Art Student!Renjun AU [Part 1]

part 2

Pairing: Art Student!Renjun x Art Student!Female Reader

Summary: Y/N is new in town and works at an Arts Shop which old ladies, teachers and parents picking up supplies for their children mostly visit, and a cute boy who comes by everyday. Having an accidental encounter with the boy they develop a friendship and a love with milkshakes, art and of course each other. Because what is even a love story if they don’t fall for each other with cheesy shit involved

A/N: this story is requested but also inspired by a couple of prompts I came upon therefore not exactly an original plot I suppose but original story !! [part 2 posted] - Doyoung’s Darling

New York is such a beautiful place to live in, especially during the winter time. The snowfalls, the city lights at night of yellow and during Christmas the red and greens. I study at NY Arts School at the end of my sophomore year as a visual arts major. We were considered one of the least popular, the dance majors being the most. We weren’t really seen as much - what can you even do as a visual art major? Is what everyone asked. No one really cared to know for the history of art, Picasso, Monet, Da Vinci. No one really wanted to know what art really was, or why we even loved it. We were considered sort of outcasts despite it being an art school, such irony right? No one here realized art was a way to have colour in our lives, a way to speak with pictures without having to say a single word. It was a way to figure out how others minds work with their interpretation of pieces. It’s a way to make essentials and decoratives which existed in our daily lives; plates and utensils, carpets, blankets, many many things which art was discredited for.

Outside of school, I worked a job as a barista at this cafe, three to five hours for the weekend and then head to the library to study. My parents- well my mother works a job as an English teacher. My father passed away two years ago, I never got much time with him due to him being overseas for his job, he was a good man and we both loved him very much - but unfortunately, his kidney’s gave out on him and couldn’t live a full time with us. Hey, that’s life right? Mystery and questions of will tomorrow come or not, it’s unsolved until it actually happens.

Without having many friends because of my hectic life after the death of my father, my weekend jobs to help out my mother and studying until 2AM in the mornings, life in New York was still really nice. I didn’t mind it, and I wouldn’t change it for anything - that was until my mother got a job offer overseas, to teach abroad in Korea. Yeah, Korea, that’s a huge change, right? Moving from New York to Korea, a massive culture shock, especially right before my junior year of high school. Although I had no choice, being a minor I wasn’t allowed to live alone, the only family I had left was my grandparents from my father and mother’s side. Mother’s lived in Canada, the land of freezing cold winters and sometimes even snow in May. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my winters but snow in spring? I’m not even kidding guys there was deadass snow in May and I was crying my ass lives in Canada and I’m not even surprised I JUST WANT MY WARMTH Really, I’m fine with winter it’s a beautiful season but I prefer my winters to stay in December and I like my warmth during spring and summer. So that was not happening anytime soon. Then there was the option of my grandparents from my father’s side but they lived overseas in Korea - so at this point, there was really no option I had to leave New York, I had to leave NYA behind and start a completely new life. Live in a foreign country where I wouldn’t know anyone besides family and I had to work on speaking a whole new language. See, I know bits of Korean and I can understand it - thanks to my father being Korean, but I suck at speaking it. Now, of course, my mother and I looked into it to get me into an international school so it’d be easier for me to adjust, but I still felt unease. Everything would be so different, totally new people, teachers, school a whole new country. I’m not the best at change but...for this I had no choice, it was for my mother, the sake of her job and our living.

And so here I am in Seoul city the capital of South Korea.

I arrived here in early June, around the time school was ending for Korean students. My mother and I were provided with a small studio in the city, acquired transit passes and I surprisingly ended up with a job. It wasn’t much I just got to work in an Arts Shop as a cashier, for the time being before school begun once again in August, it was weird because school for me usually started in September, but I guess that’s the beauty of culture change, adjusting to new routines and lifestyles. Of course, my grandparents gave us some money to last until second month’s rent and invited us over for dinners to help us save some before mother started her work.

The owner of the Arts Shop was very kind, an old man who sat behind a counter every day reading the newspaper and always had a bright smile talking to customers, and currently I was in his position - without the smile. I was spending five hours of my vacation days in a foreign country behind a counter of a shop which old ladies, teachers and parents visited. There were the rays of the bright sun which shone into the store, lighting it up during the day and bringing in heat. The air conditioning wasn’t available so I was left to cool down with any paper or book I could fan myself with, it wasn’t very useful but the best I could do.

“Excuse me, I have a quick question.” A boy came up to the counter with a bright smile. He had dyed blonde hair covering his forehead, round glasses and a yellow t-shirt. His eyes a shade of brown, chocolate-coloured if I must say, sort of hazel with the sunlight on his features.

“Excuse me?” He waved a hand in front of my face, knocking me out my trance.

“Oh yes, sorry.” I shifted my gaze to the counter top in embarrassment. Was I staring? I can’t be, oh boy he probably thinks I’m a creep. “How may I help you?”

“Well there’s two things, first do you have any of these paints?”

I examined the empty bottle of paint he placed on the counter. “Ah, asianpaint’s oil paint. That should be in soon, just not in stock today sorry to dissapoint.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Second question?”

“Any idea when they’ll be in?” He anticipated.

“Possibly in a week, but that’s if they don’t get held up somewhere in transport.”

“Oh alright, well thank you.” He bowed, grabbing his empty paint bottle stuffing it into his backpack and walking out the door.

Now, that boy I’ve been seeing him every day since I’ve started working, which wasn’t really that long ago, maybe it had been just one week? I see him every day in the same spot, he’ll come around during the evening and sketch in his book while drinking a milkshake, strawberry I think? I caught myself waiting for him to show up each time. In fact, I started to realize how cute he actually was- if only I had socialist abilities but I don’t think they’ll be out any time soon.

The next day passed by as the same old routine: wake up, eat breakfast, mother and I would head out to my grandparent’s to check in, then at 3:00PM I’d be here to work until 6:00 or 8:00 you know depending on how exhausted I was. I would then head home to eat dinner and then sleep. The next day would just be a repeat of the previous one. Today was just like any other, except with a slight change - the manager asked me to come in a little late to close up shop since he had other duties to attend to early and so I accepted. I walked in at about 6:00 and closed up shop around 9:00 it wasn’t that busy considering many people would be having dinner between this time and so no one came in, giving me the opportunity to sit down and play games on my phone, scroll through Instagram and such.

As the clock hit 9 I began to check around the shop to make sure everything was okay, I locked the entrance door and walked out from the exit. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the chance to meet with the cute milkshake boy who would always sketch. It was a bummer really but, lately, he’s been talking to me, nothing too big just little conversations of ‘how was your day’ ‘have you been well’ and little jokes here and there. It was quite nice actually, made me feel like I was being accepted.

As I started to walk away I turned the corner bumping into someone, falling backwards with a hard hit to my tailbone and smashing my head on the ground. I groaned from the pain and my eyes squeezed shut feeling a weight on top of me. I sat up as I felt the weight of the stranger lift off me, speaking incoherent apologies and ‘I should’ve looked where I was going’. My brain adjusted my vision from the hard fall to the night lights, fixing the blurred face of the stranger. My eyes grew wide from the surprise of who the stranger was, I swear they almost popped out of their sockets.

“Milkshake boy,” I said as I groaned, the back of my head throbbing from pain.

“Are you okay?” He asked in concern, rubbing his elbow as it bled due to the scratches from the concrete. “Can you see how many fingers there are?” He waved three fingers in front of my face.

“Three.” I hissed rubbing the back of my head. He let out a sigh of relief and stood up helping me get on my feet as well. Losing my balance I let out a yelp as I began to fall once again, the boy’s arm wrapping around my waist to keep me up. Looking up, I thanked him for preventing a second fall, eventually making eye contact I giggled at our position - a dip with his arm around my waist and our faces close to our noses barely brushing each other- confusing the boy at my abrupt laughter he furrowed his eyebrows until he came to realize how we stood and our closeness. He blushed, his cheeks turning a tint of pink helping me up to stand on my own. his gaze shifted to the ground as he fiddled with his thumbs from the embarrassment.

I cleared my throat to speak breaking the awkward atmosphere,

“you’re milkshake boy, right?”

“w-what?” He looked up with wide eyes. “is that how you acknowledge me? Milkshake boy?”

“Uh yeah, kind of - you never really told me your name.”

“Oh...” he trailed off from the realization, “Sorry, my name’s Renjun.” he extended his arm for a handshake.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N” I smiled. “Still prefer calling you milkshake boy though, it works better.”

“Well if you’re going to be calling me that...” he scrunched his nose, placing a hand on his chin in thought. “I might as well keep calling you counter girl.”

“counter girl?” I questioned. “is that the best you came up with?”

“the most decent one.” he corrected. “there was also Arts Shop girl, cute counter girl-”

“cute?” I raised a brow from his confession.

“w-what- oh!” Renjun panicked from his accidental slip up. “no, no! I meant like uh..well it didn’t work that well.”

“So you don’t think I’m cute?” I teased.

“no, no that's not it I-”

“I’m joking!” I laughed. “Loosen up a little.” Renjun rubbed the back of his neck as his face got a darker shade of pink from his continued embarrassment. He was really adorable from afar, but boy was he even cuter red-faced, and when his nose scrunched up, oh boy. I think my heart melted.

“What are you doing here so late?” Renjun questioned. “Don’t you usually come in the afternoons?”

“Oh, so you stalk me now?” I teased, making Renjun flush as he denied. “Wow, you really do blush easily.”

“What, no I don't!” Renjun said flustered. “I just- it’s cold.”

“Yeah, it’s cold in 18 degrees Celsius and that's why you’re constantly red not because of every time I tease you,” I smirked. Renjun gave a stern nod crossing his arms over his chest.

“That’s right.”

“Whatever you say milkshake boy.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I have to be getting home now-”

“What? Alone at night?”

“Well yeah, what about it?” I tilted my head to the side.

“It’s just so late.” Renjun said concerned. “What if anything happens to you? You shouldn’t be out alone this time of night.”

“How do I know you won’t murder me?” I crossed my arms over my chest, teasingly cocking up an eyebrow.

“I would rather not be someone suspected for murder,” Renjun laughed. “Plus I’d probably get kicked out of my art program.”

“Art program?” I questioned. “You’re in an art program?”

“Yeah, don’t be teasing me or any-“

“No, no! That’s really cool, I used to be in one.” I exclaimed. “I love art so much, it’s one of my greatest passions.”

“Really? Why aren’t you in it anymore?” Renjun asked.

“I used to live in New York with my mom, then we moved to Korea because she got a really good job offer.” I smiled.

“Oh I see, New York yeah? Is the cheese cake as good as they say?”

“I wouldn’t know,” I chuckled. “I never really liked cheese cake.”

“Whoa really? Anything you did like?”

“Hotdogs actually, I ate them everyday after school - I kind of got sick of them at one point so I ended up switching between fries and hotdogs.”

“Understandable,” Renjun laughed. Gosh, his laugh was so pleasing, it could probably calm tsunamis and gather animals around him like in fairy tales when the Princesses sing - his laugh was a perfect melody. “My sister should be here to pick me up soon, let me give you a ride.” He offered.

“What? No, I couldn’t let you do that, we just met.”

“Come on, please?” Renjun pout. “It’s either you let me drive you or you give me your number so I can check up on you to make sure you got home safe.”

“Oh,” I blushed looking down at my feet. Did he just ask for my number?

“I’d probably have nightmares if I found out I let you walk alone and someone murdered you.” He grabbed my arm. “Let me drop you home.”

I nodded my head, “102 Jeongu, I live up in the apartment.” My face was still flushed and god it was so embarrassing, a few minutes ago I was literally teasing him for getting flustered easily and now the tables have turned. He smiled as I told him my address turning around to the street as a bright light shone on us.

“Noona!” He said heading over to the car. He opened the door signaling me in. I shyly greeted his sister as he introduced us and drove me home. I felt sort of bad though, I didn’t even know where his house was, what if it was on the completely opposite end? Gosh that would fill me up with so much guilt but I was thankful for the ride as it saved my legs from the pain of walking 30 minutes and the possible dangers of the night - you know the possibility of me getting murdered or kidnapped by someone, which I doubt but not really impossible. In all honesty, I hated the dark anyways, it’s childish but I’ve always been scared of it I don’t know why? I’ve just never been comfortable enough to be alone surrounded by pitch black. Possibly the outcome of all the horror movies I’ve watched.

Arriving at the apartment doors I thanked them and asked if they would like something in return for the favour, both denying for the return of anything.

“It was our pleasure,” Renjun’s sister warmly smiled.

“Just stay safe, okay?” Renjun flashed a bright smile waving as they drove off.

I walked to my apartment and greeted my mother who sat on the couch reading a People’s Magazine. Wishing her a goodnight I got myself ready for bed, my mind playing out the encounter with milkshake boy as we stood close our noses almost brushing each other’s. Should I have kissed him? No, wait wait that’s wrong - I’d come off too strong and probably drove him away. I really wouldn’t mind kissing him, his lips were so pretty and pink, they seemed soft so perfect to attach mine to. Maybe one day, I sighed. One day, as long as he’s not a douche - please don’t be a douche, uh what was his name again? Renjun? Yeah, Renjun. And so, I drifted off to sleep after the surprise event of today hoping tomorrow to be another.

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this!! Please feel free to DM or comment below your thoughts and send in requests if you wish!! I’ll be making a part 2 as long as this post gets let’s say uhhh 30+ notes likes and such !! <3 take care of yourselves,, lovelies!! - Doyoung’s Darling [PART 2 HAS BEEN POSTED LINK ABOVE!!]

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sanrosa · 4 years

Text

10:43pm

A month ago, exactly a month ago, I would not have imagined being in the position I am right now. Because a month ago, I still had uni assignments that were still due, I was still living with my one sister and mom, I had just applied for a learnership which I had hoped and prayed so much for - feeling optimistic because of the responses I gave for the interview, I still had a learner's licence that was about to expire and I was blatantly waiting for it to expire because there was no hope whatsoever anymore that I would get a test before it expires (my punctuality cost me a great amount), I still did not know how I'd really execute my vision of getting into the scenes and finally officially put myself out there as a rapper/artist, I still did not know either how I'd take advantage of the platforms I had initiated but did not carry on with (my blogs, youtube channels, twitter accounts, instagram, etc.) and I still had no full set idea of what I was going to do this year, like exactly what I'm working towards by the end of this unexpected gap year. This was all me, a month ago.

A month later... so much has changed, I'm quite amazed. So... I never quite really finished the assignments on time, and well, in summary: I failed. The hour I spent after reading that email, that hour- in pure shock, is one I will never quite forget. How I had emotions too many, yet none. A state of confusion, shock, heartbreak, deep sadness, then numbness, then acceptance, then happiness, then relief and joy. All in a matter of minutes. At the same time, I was trying not to feel either. I convinced myself that it is not that deep, I am strong and I will get through this. Because in a way, I had also expected it, the way things were going. I could not have expected that I pass with flying colours when the effort I was putting was minimal to none. Literally doing things last minute. So, while I was surprised at failing for the first time in my life academically, I honestly did not have anything or anyone else to blame but myself. The responsibility was completely my own and it is in my doing and way of handling my time that I succumbed to this position (of failure). So, yes, I do know that I am at fault. But fr, it just could not erase the fact that I was in shock hey. But I did move on from that rather quickly. And what I took from that moment were two things... A big lesson, and a big advice. The biggest lesson was (and will continue to be, until I truly learn and master it) - How to take control of my time and manage it efficiently! There will not a lesson as big as this one right here for me. Because it has become my biggest weakness and starting to become my most wounding one, unless I start acting right and learn it. I've been losing too much and too many precious things (opportunities, assets, beautiful moments) to my lack of time management skills. And it hurts! So I have no choice anymore other than to fully commit myself to respecting, cherishing and managing my time the way I'm supposed to, to get to exactly where I want to be. And well, I guess I'd say the advice is actually also in this lesson; Practice, practice, practice! Master the art of doing something when I need to and am able to. There's no better time than now. Anyways, next. Well, just a month ago I thought I'd be living with my sister for the year. But, my aunt and cousin came to visit for a weekend, and my cousin did not have a place to stay yet for his school year (res) so we found out he'll be staying with us. For a month. Jiki-jiki, a month later.. Both my sister and my cousin have left. Gone to their residences and off living their lives. As if I expected that?? I should've, right? No. Because my sister never actually said anything about leaving, and I genuinely thought my cousin was actually going to stay like a bit longer because who starts staying in a place in like the middle of the month, you know? So here I am now, lonely and sad they're both gone and I'm just left with my mother, who besides being a really cool and sweet human, likes to naaagg! about almost anything around the house. from the table not being wiped properly, to the windows, to the curtains, to the food and the way it was cooked, to the. Which, I'm not gonna lie, I understand as she is a black parent. I dislike it (extremely), but I do understand. I mean in any case, she probably has a lot of stress already so this is like her way of taking it out I guess (and lmao that is actually exactly what goes through my mind when she nags. I bounce her energy off, and not let it interfere with my energy, by keeping in mind that she's just trying to air out her 'boiling' thoughts, so i should not let it get to my emotions so that I have a bad vibe because the vibe that's been created. and it works like a charm). At the same time though, I'm not trying to paint a picture of her as an extremely 'complaintive' person lol, it's just i think that i'm not used to this energy anymore. I left the nest last year. Now that I've come back, I'm not sure how the hell I was able to handle such energy... cause it is lame as hell. But anyways, my point actually was how sad I am that my sis and cousin left. So abruptly even. Man. At least my cousin (who actually just left this morning) did leave me with something valuable. A truly valuable gift. He taught me how to make a beat. Just a day ago I didn't know practically anything about making beats. Not even the names of the types of instruments (snares, kicks, hi-hats, melodies). But now, I feel like I've unlocked a whole new world of understanding music. Cause now it feels like I even know exactly what went into the beats that these famous artists (Drake, Kanye, Nicki, PND, Cardi) use for the songs. Of course not exactly what they used, but more or less how they made it. And it looks easier now. My journey on being a rapper now looks more lit up cause bitch I'll even be producing my own hits now. Ah! Lol but okay, honestly, that was fire. And I'm truly and eternally grateful he helped with that. I hope he has a blessed year. Alright... next. (sigh) The learnership. Actually this one kinda still hurts deeply so I won't get too in detail about it, but... I did not get the learnership. Though I genuinely felt like I fit the criteria perfectly when I applied, as well as living very near to the workplace. Heaven only knows why I would be given such an opportunity and have the strength to actually take it, yet the outcome is a complete flop. Like I am honestly trying to understand why I even saw the ad in the first place... At such perfect timing (cause I was not going to be taking a gap year this year anyways)... All to just give me unnecessary hope? Why?? Why break my heart like that??? But ok yeah ... Life and shit. Anyways, the learner's licence. Haha, this one is quite interesting actually. Because to be truly honest, I had almost forgotten that I had a learner's licence. And I think it's because in my mind I had obtained the learner's, took driving lessons and had already planned to take the driver's test in PE, however I was in Gtown for most of last year, so it seemed like something that could not happen until I fully got back to PE, which was December. December came and went with all the fun I had and it completely slipped my mind that I could take lessons and a driver's test during the time. Came beginning of January, I'm preparing for school. Still no 'go book a test' in mind, until the middle/end of January (when it became final that I was not going to school this year) and I thought 'oh damn, this would be the perfect time to actually take lessons and book a test then'. Only to find out I am too darn late; the DLTC is all booked out. Oh, how I regretted wasting my time on idk what. 🙂💔 Fortunately, I was not too bummed out, considering I have another whole year to redo this then. Unfortunately, I stumbled upon a post by one of my favourite artists right now, Saweetie, and found out that she is doing a giveaway (brave of me to enter that world again, I know. I don't know what's my problem really) and well, I decided to enter it. Thing is though, it's a giveaway for a whole Tesla. Yes bitch, a whole entire mthrfking TESLA. And my ass is smart enough to think I would win it lol. Okay, God bless my heart. Anyways, so the catch is.... You need a driver's licence. OBVI! But I don't have one. YET! So, uhm, *cough cough* let me f**king book for learner's as soon as the day it expires!... Okay, done! Now let's go take the test 6 days later!... Okay, done! We passed... Done! Wooh. Now let's book for a driver's test as soon as you get home from writing the test cause we excited asf!... LMAO done! Now let's make sure it's a good date and good time astrologically too (cause that lowkey was the case with you writing the learner's test and boom you passed, even tho you didn't even check).... Done! Okay, we almost there, now go book for lessons at One Way (I'm sure they'll have spots for you cause it's a whole month and 3 days before you take your test lmao).... Done! Yay! I have a whole month to practice. Let's get it! Okay well, that's where I stand so far. Tuesday I'm then going to pay the booking fee and stuff. Then, take lessons from both the driving school and with my mother. Then take the test on Weed Day lmao. So after the test I smoke one up and celebrate victory. 😄 All in due time for the giveaway closing after two days. Wows. Whether I win the giveaway or not though, I'll just be glad that it seriously inspired me this much to finally get a driver's licence. Like, it genuinely pushed me hey. So boom I was able to get a licence this year 😁 Urrrniways... Next. My vision. Oh my dear vision. To be a well known female rapper. Beeeen hiding behind the scenes, you'd never know what I'm up to, whether I'm working, I'm playing, I'm being boring, I'm having a blast... or even having a child, chile (lmao). But one thing's for sure, I am still alive. Okay. And I'm just about to be more alive, and you'll even feel more alive... when my ass starts dropping things. Yasss honeyy, dropping my name, dropping that ass, dropping these beats, dropping this sass. Oh shit, here's the real her. Yes, hi. I been working, and I been playing, now let's get to showinnngg.😁 Lol, okay but on the real. A month ago, I really did not know how to execute my vision. In some parts I still don't really, like the cover for my debut EP (photography-wise), who to really contact for first edition EP-listening, and how much it would completely cost to distribute this whole idea/vision (which I'm actually going to have to start becoming my own professional accountant). But in some parts I now do, including important parts like GETTING THE MIC (😪😁 finally! and guess when it came? March 16th. always a special day for me this one), knowing how to produce my own beats here and there (finally 😁), and how exactly to market to a large number of people (😆more views and stuff), then perhaps less important stuff like the outfit I will wear for my very first performance lmao, and posting my stuff on instagram and tiktok (unexpectedly actually), and actually understanding and lowkey connecting with underrated rappers/singers. It's a pretty dope world to see tbh. Overrall... Babbyy, I see you the see the vision now. It's an exciting time to be in. (Side-note: Lmao I highkey lowkey think the moon being in Gemini just impacted me now. cause suddenly I'm on some other mood within writing this post. lmao shit changed quite drastically than when I began writing). Anyways, next. Last but not least... Taking advantage of these platforms, in conjunction with what exactly I will be doing this year. So, a month ago, I had almost forgotten about my astrology blog. Well, let me actually put it this way... I started to kinda cringe at the thought of my blog because it had been a while since I'd posted, so I wasn't too keen on going on to tumblr again. All the notifs, inboxes and deep cringe from noticing how it's been almost 5 months since I last posted something. Likkke... girl, is you serious or not? Lol, but then... an idea got blessed in my head on the 4th of March (a beautiful idea that will start commencing very soon)... How about I start a small business? :? Selling..... Merch. Based on astrology.😁 It is one heck of a win-win situation for me and the people getting interested in astrology now. But of course... I need an audience to sell to. So, (to the Heavens I thank for the day I randomly posted some astrology thing here on tumblr and it actually blew up and I did not even expect that), now I have some people to at least engage and connect with for this business. And I thank the Heavens even more that my idea somehow got transferred into my mom's head and she popped up a question of "Don't you wanna start selling stuff?" or something like that. And hell to yes, I grabbed that opportunity like no other! (but fr, I was shocked first. like what? you read my mind or sumn?) Lol, and so... Mi lady and I talked business and how she'd invested a K for me to check if I'd really be able to handle it. (Oh and perhaps I might add, my dad also did 'invest' a K for me in terms of my music... cause I was able to buy a mic with the money he gave me. Yes, yes, a whole K went into a mic). So I can only genuinely thank God for the people in my life, and how this path is going for me right now. Like, wow. But yeah. Technically, I haven't received the K from Mi lady yet, but that is good because I'd like to get in touch (and get bigger) with my tumblr astro fam again. Then in a couple of weeks, we officially commence. Just in time for me having a driver's licence. So, things can be easier for me pushing my business. :') Lord God, You are great. The greatest. Otherwise... yeah, then other stuff ke like really building my niche on instagram (posting pics and stuff), starting a music/astrology channel on YouTube (which I released my first video today 😁), and already officiated handles on twitter and insta. I'm not too sure if I care about facebook tbh. but yeah, then all that's left is the website itself and a professional email address. then, digitally, we up!

So yeah man... wooh, what a month passing by. never would've thought of all of these things happening. but I can only thank Lord God because it's none other than His doing that's helping me with all of this. Like I actually cannot explain how grateful I am for how kind and amazing He has been to me. and the fact that I'm able to see and understand why these things are happening. some making me really sad, but it's all just to introducing the next that will make me really happy. I am truly blessed man. wow.

God, I thank you. With all my heart and being. All my existence and soul. I thank you.

#strawberry mint series

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