#nct dream tatbilb

[hyucksong]

to all the boys i’ve loved before; huang renjun

Dear Renjun,

   I can’t believe you’re gone already. It’s only been a few months since I’ve known you, yet you’ve already become such a part of my routine. Or, were, at least. It felt so peaceful to be with you, and I loved it. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by since I’ve met you that I haven’t seen you.

   I’m grateful for everything. This is probably the most calmly I’ve ever dealt with heartbreak -- or rather, instead of feeling like a heartbreak, this feels like a, “see you soon.” 

   Regardless of our short time together, I’m sure I love you. This isn’t some intense forest fire of love, it’s a quiet appreciation, a quiet affection, it’s sitting in front of couches on the carpeted floor and cuddling while reading, it’s just laying awake next to each other, fingers intertwined. It’s simple. It’s sure. I like it. I was sad to see you get back on that plane to China, but I knew somewhere deep in my heart that it wasn’t a goodbye. 

   Thank you for the goodbye kiss, while we may not be together, I’ll cherish it forever. 

Dear Renjun,

    Out of all my loves I’ve had these past few years, I must say, Huang Renjun, you were the most different. There was no firey chemistry between you and me, there was no life-long friendship, either. There was no drama and no insecure feelings with you. Everything felt natural and tranquil with you --  like our love would last forever. Almost like an elderly couple calmly rocking on their wooden chairs as people pass them by. I didn’t feel the need to prove anything to you. 

   The tranquility was something I really enjoyed coming out of my chaotic high school years, and I’m glad I met you. At first, I was sure you’d be a summer fling, but I quickly realized I was wrong. I don’t remember when I realized I loved you, but I know that it felt really natural when I said it quietly to myself. I can’t pinpoint what made me fall for you either, there are a plethora of options.

   Maybe it’s your bursts of energy, your argumentativeness, your dry humor and wit, your gentle smile and touch, the way you looked when you focused on a sketch or book -- the list is endless. But the trait that stood out the most was how you anchored me on days I was still hurting (from Mark, but you never asked who I was crying over or why. You just held me.) I’d never met someone like you. Someone who...loved me so unconditionally without saying the words. Our love may have been the most strange to onlookers; our kisses with no labels, our random inside jokes, our spending every day with each other. It was all strange. But I enjoyed every goddamn second of it.

   Then you got an emergency call home. And while you never told me what it was about, I could tell it was bad. Your face had never looked so solemn and dejected. I remember just rubbing your shoulder and whispering that you should go home because your family needed you. And I remembered you kissed me again, then.

   There were no extreme acts of love or affection, no shows, and no attempts to dig into my past. This love was present. you were in love with the present-me and saw no point in snooping about my past -- you figured I’d tell you one day when I was ready. Thank you. Maybe next time we meet, I’ll tell you everything. 

   Until then, please keep being that anchor to someone, even if it’s not me. But please, let someone anchor you, too. You deserve to float peacefully at sea, no storms on your horizon. 

Love, Y/n.

///a scene from the heart///

   Renjun sat next to you, his finger pinching his bottom lip unknowingly as his eyes trained on the words on the beige paper. You offered him the couch for his first visit to your humble home, but he insisted on sitting on the carpet, back pressed to the front of your couch. You’re a kind hostess, so you sat down next to him, your own book in your warm hands, not forgetting to turn on wordless music.

   Renjun was a simple boy; he was easy to read and open. His anger was upfront and honest, straightforward. His humor was dry and sarcastic, nihilistic even. His love was obvious, longing stares and gentle brushes of his hand against yours.

   Which was what he was doing right now.

   His hand right hand was laying flat on the fuzzy white rug, his pinky interlaced with your own. Your heart felt calm and steady, but full of happiness and serenity. A smile bloomed on your face, your eyes not really picking up the words on the page.

   “What’s up?” He whispers, leaning into you, looking down at your page, wondering what could’ve caused such a beautiful smile to erupt from your pretty lips. More of his fingers touched yours. Maybe it was all the heartbreak you had been through, maybe it was recklessness, but you confidently grabbed his hand, tangling your fingers together. You scooted closer to him, filling the space your barely-touching hands were taking up once before. “Hmmm, nothing.” Your voice was soft and dreamy, Renjun mused, his eyes turning into crescent moons. 

   Renjun let himself indulge in your aura and side profile, admiring the shape of your nose and the way your lips lulled open when you were too focused on reading. The music only made him happier. “What’s up with you?” You teased, giving him a side-glance before turning your head fully to him, not minding the close proximity and the clash of your loving gazes. 

   His gray sweat-clad knee was touching your bare one, your hands joined together in his lap, a book in his opposite hand. This was the routine for the past few months, and he wouldn’t ever want anything else. Renjun noticed how his eyes kept on falling back to your mouth and your small red tongue that periodically darted out past your plush and bitten lips. “I just really want to kiss you,” he sighed out, not thinking twice about his amorous language. 

   Red and shock crept across your cheeks and ears and you let out a small squeak, covering your mouth out of embarrassment from the strange sound. His hand was still in yours though, so really he just had easier access to take his hand out of yours and pull you closer to him. And he did.

   A light chuckle left his throat and he leaned in, his eyes staying open until he felt the cloud-like plush lips touch his; melting together like alloy. Sighs of content left your mouth repeatedly as your book went abandoned on the side of you, page unbookmarked, words not remembered. All you cared for was the way Renjun’s hands found their way to your waist and you found your hands tangled in his black-brown hair, legs straddling him and tongue tangling with his much like your hands did earlier. 

   Renjun was quiet ecstasy; Renjun was a warm summer love that lasted forever; Renjun was too good to be true. 

///a scene from a broken heart///

   Three months passed fast. Too fast for your taste, but you didn’t really mind at first, because you figured that three months was nothing compared to the indefinite amount of time you’d eventually spend with Renjun. But the red string of fate that was tied ever so loosely to his pinky was still tied to his home, China. 

   Renjun was supposed to stay in Korea until he wanted to leave, but a call from a disheartened mother and father caused him to cancel his plans. Normally, if this was Renjun three months ago, he wouldn’t have minded. Because he missed home. But present-day Renjun wasn’t; he had found his home within you. But blood was thicker than saliva, so he bought the expensive tickets begrudgingly. 

   You both were sitting in the front of the airport, two hours early, his suitcases resting by his feet, your heart resting in your stomach. You wanted to see him off and insisted as such despite his weary looks. “I don’t want to see you cry. It’ll be harder for me to leave you,” he whispered, hand stroking your cheek. “I love you Renjun, and I want to see you go.” He had complied after your passionate words. 

   “I don’t want to leave.” A tear escaped Renjun’s stable emotional facade, and you gave him a sad smile, brushing the falling tear off his soft cheeks. “I know. I wish you wouldn’t either, but,” you moved the hair out his face, hand brushing through his locks with a loving touch, “I know we’ll be okay.”

   “How do you know that?” He sniffed, rubbing his red nose. You opened your mouth before noticing the time; it was time for him to get checked into the airport. You stood up, wiping your clammy hands on your denim jeans. “I don’t,” you admitted, “but I’d like to think the feeling we have for each other isn’t something you can just get rid of.” A sincere smile caused his ears to flush. 

   “You’re right.” 

   “I know.” Cue his first giggles since you picked him up earlier that day. While there was no label put on your relationship, there was a mutual feeling of exclusivity, one that you maintained throughout your time of knowing him. But you both had to face the truth -- distance was the devil. There was no true certainty of love lasting thousands of miles. 

   That’s why Renjun cried in front of you, tears flooding his face, then yours. That’s why Renjun pulled you into the tightest hug you’d ever felt. That’s why Renjun cupped your swollen face and pressed his lips to yours, eyes closed and eyebrows drawn together as if he was trying his hardest to encapsulate this memory, this feeling, and to remember -- that this wasn’t an obligation or an intense, “I love you,” but rather a delicate and hopeful “see you soon.”  

   He boarded the plane, silent and with a surprisingly light heart. He, truthfully, wasn’t sure he was ever going to see you again. But as he took off, he swore with his entire being that he saw your little dot with his jacket in your arms, waving at him. He could basically see the smile on your face without actually seeing so. He had a feeling then, that you’d cross paths in your future. And who knows, maybe it’d be for forever that time. 

///

masterlist

[renmnin]

[01:52]

Sicheng is always down to ditch the party to go get milkshakes from the local diner with you. 

[lovehrj]

[11:38 AM] when you get to your school’s cafeteria, you’re met with donghyuck’s hand in the back pocket of your jeans and a bright smile on his face before his lips meet yours softly.

[kyufiber-moved]

to all the boys i’ve before + nct dream → insp.

[sftwinko]

NCT as To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before Quotes

The movie just came out and I totally loved, it made me miss all the moments that weren’t there as well but... anyways.

P.S. If you haven’t read the books, do it, you’re not going to regret it.

Taeil: Do you know what it’s like to like someone so much you can’t stand it and know that they’ll never feel the same way?

Johnny: I've never gotten a love letter before. But reading these notes like this, one after the other it feels like I have.

Taeyong: I wonder what it's like to have that much power over a boy. I don't think I'd want it; it's a lot of responsibility to hold a person's heart in your hands.

Yuta: Are you gonna break my heart, Covey?

Kun: I don't think relationships are just physicality. There are ways to show you care about someone, not just using your lips... Or any other body part.

Doyoung: We smile at each other and I feel that wonderful sensation of being known by someone.

Ten: A reckless driver is better than a scared one; ask anybody.

Jaehyun: He has the look of a Handsome Boy from a different time. He could be a dashing World War I soldier, handsome enough for a girl to wait years for him to come back from war, so handsome she could wait forever.

Winwin: If you make Josh’s dumb white- chocolate cranberry cookies and not my fruitcake ones, it’s over.

Jungwoo: It's probably because you were each other's firsts. That's why you can't let each other go. I've heard that's how it is with firsts, especially with guys.

Lucas: That's when I see him. Peter Kavinsky, walking down the hallway. Like magic. Beautiful, dark-haired Peter. He deserves background music, he looks so good.

Mark: I didn’t fall for you, you tripped me!

Renjun: He looks at you a lot. When you're not paying attention. He looks at you, to see if you're having a good time.

Jeno: Just you wait. As soon as you and I are done, he’s gonna pull some cheesy-ass move and, like, profess his love for you with a boom box. I’m telling you, I know how guys think.

Haechan: Oh, I used to lie all the time as a kid." I didn't think of it as lying, though. I thought of it as playing make-believe. I told Kitty she was adopted and her real family was in a traveling circus. It's why she took up gymnastics.

Jaemin: Peter smiles, and ugh, it's annoying how handsome he is.

Chenle: Triumphantly he says, “Did you predict that, Lara Jean?”

Jisung: So that's where I get it from. My dad. He lives in a fantasy world.

[jaehyuwus]

to all the boys i’ve loved before

reader x renjun

summary: y/n writes letters about her most important crushes. when her letters get out, her older sisters boyfriend finds the letter to him. to avoid conflict she fake dates renjun, one of her old crushes. will it fix everything though?

only thing based on the book is the plot. 

-prologue-

my letters are my most secret possessions. i write them when i have a crush so intense, i don’t know what else to do. there are seven in total. first, Renjun. he’s the student council president, the top of his class, incredibly sweet and loves to sing.he has the most dazzling brown eyes. second, Haechan. we met in second grade and i remember developing such a huge crush on him when i was in fifth grade, and wrote the letter. then he cut my hair with a pair of scissors while i was taking a nap at his house in sixth grade. third, Chenle. we met at the a school dance in seventh grade when i had no one to slow dance with, and he offered to be my date for the night. after that we became really close, and i thought he was the one for like three months. he has the funniest laugh and i’ll always really care about him. fourth, jaemin. we became friends in eighth grade after he had just moved next door, and i made a joke about his name. his nickname became nana. he would come to my house late at night and help me sneak out. he is definitely the most important one on this list. he was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, he had the most amazing smile, and such a kind heart. in ninth grade he realized he was gay, and now he is happily in a relationship and one of my best friends. 

fifth, Jeno. jeno is the captain of the basketball team, incredibly popular, a smile that makes you feel all bubbly inside, and incredibly quiet. we were partners for a science project in tenth grade. when i began to develop feelings for him, i realized his obvious feelings for jaemin, and helped pair them together. sixth, jisung. he’s a year younger than me, but incredible. we took the same dance class, and he would always help me. i remember when we were drinking a milkshake together, i had gotten some of the drink on my lip, and he used that as an opportunity to kiss me. i couldn’t stop blushing, and we dated for three months. seventh, Mark Lee. he is my older sister, Jessicas boyfriend. he is so kind and funny, yet i have barely spoken to him. i’ve gathered all of my information on him from my sister. soon, i couldn’t help, but fall for him as well. he is currently my crush, and as i stuff my letter for him inside my lame pink box labeled, “princess”, and shove it under my bed, i stare at my ceiling wondering why he had to be one of the boys i fall for. maybe it’s those damn brown eyes, or that dorky laugh. all i know, is that my sister definitely would not like knowing how i feel. 

[puffstickers-moved]

im posting it here too lmao but here’s a mb inspired by jaemin’s story in @dreamboynana‘s tatbilb series 11:45pm ♡♡♡

[byunbaekby]

legend — ♡ - fluff || ☁ - angst || ✑ - written || ☏ - social media au || ♠ - smut || ☆ - personal favorites

mark

a clouded fate  ♡ ☁ ✑ ☆ ♠ mark’s journey to recovery, tied in with your fatal love story. what is love: is it predetermined by fate? if so, he should just give up now. (17.5k)

jeno— 

home ♡ ☁ ✑ ☆  the story of your first love, which never truly ends for anyone. (11.6k)

apartment b23 ☁ ♡ ☏ when you move in to a shared apartment mid-college, you never would have imagined that you’d be forced to share a living space with three boys. one of them, quiet and studious, you’re a little more inclined to, perhaps because the two of you get off on the wrong foot.

haechan— 

you are: loved ☁ ✑ ♡ in a world where the things people say about you show up on your skin, you refuse to believe that lee donghyuck is in love with you. (5.3k)

mythomaniac ☁ ✑ ♡ he’s your best friend, he’s always been. but sometimes you have to stop gazing through those rose colored lenses to see donghyuck for what he really is: a liar. (10.5k)

haven’t been caught  ♡ ✑ because you’re a good girl, and good girls love bad boys. anyways, good girls are bad girls that haven’t been caught, right? (1.7k)

the following ☁ ✑( + horror ) after you take a shortcut through the cemetery on your way home late one night, you return home with more than you bargained for. (6.9k)

jaemin— 

mistakes ♡ ✑ in the midst of nct dream’s comeback, you find your boyfriend sulking over the scandals surrounding him and his group. (1.5k)

multi-member—

letters never sent ♡ ☁ ✑  tatbilb!au a collection of letters. never sent, never read, never shared, these words are for you and you only. they exist to simply remind you of your emotions, and how strong and all-consuming they can be.

doyoung—

one day (pm 01:27) ☁ ✑ ♡ you’ve never been able to let doyoung go. he remains in your heart though you can’t erase him, your memories that you can’t let go of. and now, he stands before you to remind you of that time you’ve lost. (2.6k)

strawberries & cigarettes ☁ ✑ ☆ kim doyoung was supposedly for you, the one who got away. quite literally. after professing his feelings to you and kissing the air from your lungs one night, doyoung disappears off the face of the earth. four years later, you’ve met him again, but he’s not the person you remember; he’s darkened, he’s crude, and he’s got blood on his hands. soon, you might too. (in progress!)

no body, no crime ☁ ✑ ♡ ☆ ( + mystery ) time travel is a concept you’ve played with your entire life. then suddenly, your world is turned upside down when you’re transported to the future, where you learn that you have been missing for seven years. now, your quiet and studious best friend from college is the lead detective in your case; will you be able to help him find you before it’s too late?

jungwoo—

red heart stickers  ♡ ✑ in which you have a secret admirer, and will do anything to find who it is. (1.2k)

none yet!

[thesunnyshow]

Name: leyna

Age: 1X

Writing Blog URL(s): @jensungf​

What fandom(s) do you write for? nct (dream)!

Nationality: american!

Languages: english, vietnamese (spanish??? very bad)

Star Sign: capricorn sun!! 

MBTI: enfp-t hehe

Favorite color: lavender

Favorite food: beef chow fun/noodles

Favorite movie: our times!

Favorite ice cream flavor: chocolate chip cookie dough

Favorite animal: cats! 

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? hmm i’m not a big fan of either tbh but vietnamese iced coffee with a LOT of condensed milk is super good 

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): honestly idk! maybe an editor or professor who knows

Go-to karaoke song: “gee” by snsd or “if it ain’t you” by alicia keys

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? vocal-induced manipulation or basically power of persuasion with my words hehe

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? maybe the 90s! i really like the vibes and aesthetic

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? no bc learning is a part of life!

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? horse sized chicken hahaha bc horses are wild

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? drama queen LOLL

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? to an extent yes! 

If a genie gave you three wishes, what would they be? world peace, equality for all, and hmm true love in every life i live

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? i have 3k followers on pinterest hahaha weird flex

When did you post your first piece? april 2020!

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i write most fluff and angst or a combo! with some crack bc who doesn’t love some humor hahah

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? i write reader inserts

Why did you start writing on Tumblr? ive been writing on tumblr since 2015, just for diff fandoms bc i always loved reading fanfics and i wanted to become a better writer

What inspires you to write? other writings, real life experiences, dreams, basically anything!

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? i find fluff easier to write than angst but i like a good balance of all the genres! i rly like writing soulmate!aus for some reason or just some domestic fluffy established relationship stuff

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? i hope they can actually feel the emotions i’m hoping to convey from each character (referring to my more angsty works) or their sweet tooth gets satiated hehe

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? i try to read other stories or talk to my moots to help me!

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? i think my fav has to be only forever because it’s something that i feel like is really cliche but it actually represents the meaning of young innocent first loves. i reminds me of what someone’s youth should sort of feel like. my most successful has been jsmr: sugar and spice because who doesn’t love jsmr!jeno and some sweet fluff and a spicy make out scene 🤭

Who is your favorite person to write about? jeno or jaemin tbh

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? there is a slight difference because fanfiction provides you a sort of foundation with characters but to be honest, i believe that if you just switch the names and perspectives for most of the stories on here, it would become a bestselling hit because it conveys the same emotions and it’s just as enjoyable to read. the writers on here are truly exceptional. 

What do you think makes a good story? i definitely think little details and the nuances that add to the plot development and character development. most importantly, if a story evokes emotions from me and i can feel the story then i think it’s beautiful in itself. 

What is your writing process like? for me, i can come up with an idea based off of anything that might inspire me. like watching something, reading another story or just a dream i have. then i like to outline my stories by bouncing ideas with my best friend and from there once i figure out all the points i wanna hit i start writing! or for spur of the moment fics i deadass just start writing

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? yes, most likely. 

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? i love fwb to lovers and enemies to lovers! also soulmate!aus / tatbilb tropes cus i’m a sucker for cheesy stuff. i’m not a big fan of cheating/parent/apoc!aus or love triangles. oh and i can’t stand slow burn 😭

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? as someone who lives off of validation, it means a lot and motivates me to write my stories and post them! we put so much hard work into our stories, so feedback and engagement is honestly the least you can do 🥺

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i think just being in a community with other talented writers has taught me a lot!! and of course, having people read my work.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? yes! all the time. 

Do you think art can be a medium for change? yes, maybe not on a macro scale but personally definitely. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? sometimes, but i always try to pull myself back into why i really started writing. but writing for others helps motivate me. 

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? not on a serious level! it’s more so how details and events are interpreted but it’s fun to see how ppl have different perspectives on own piece versus your own vision.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? yes!! not my family ofc but my close friends do and support me 100% and i’m forever grateful for this

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? thank you so much for everything you’ve ever done for me no matter how little or small it may seem, it means the world to me. 

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? i think you need to realize why you’re writing and it’s because it brings you happiness, and you’re sharing your beautiful work out there and it has the possibility to change someone’s life whether it’s bringing them a little bit of joy or helping them feel emotions. you might discover things you never knew about yourself as well. 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? not really! as of recently i’ve seen a lot of changes with the platform and although it’s a big struggle, i can’t regret it because it’s brought me so much.  

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? i’d hate to pick and choose because all my mutuals have really helped me in some way whether or not they know it because they inspire me, motivate me, and are just genuinely amazing people to talk to. but honestly talking to mary / @neostains​, nana / @nanasarea​, anie / @mjlkau​ have helped me open up from being shy and i appreciate them a whole lot. 

Pick a quote to end your interview with:  “to burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.” - spanish poet federico garcia lorca

[acciyeohearts]

Writings I LOVE

I FINALLY made a list for the AUs I’m reading, and the Masterlist of the authors I usually read from!

W R I T I N G S

☁ Fluff ❄ Angst ✈ Smut ♚ Horror/Thriller/Violence ✔ Completed

➤ AUs

•NCT•

Suhdone’s College!Au || ✔ Completed ❄☁

‣ Jung Jaehyun || Get to you

‣ Lee Taeyong || Matchmaker

‣ Johnny Suh || Let’s Pretend

whereisten's ✈❄

‣ Ten || Mine

‣ Lee Taeyong || Kismet || Cat and Mouse || Late Night Adventures with the Green Haired Kingpin

‣ valentinesicheng’s Wayv Sci-Fi!Au ☁

‣ your-world-with-nct: Night Changes Masterlist

‣ For Those Who (NCT Dream) || Masterlist ❄

‣ Na Jaemin || You Belong With Me ❄☁

‣  Chenle & Park Jisung || Babysitter ♚

‣ Dream (00’s line) Zombie!AU || Love Sick Masterlist

‣ NCT Dream (00’s line) || Love Club ☁

‣ NCT Dream (TATBILB!Au) || For all the boys I’ve dreamed of ☁❄

•Stray Kids•

SKZ Wonderland AU: Drown, Drowning, Drowned Masterlist ♚

Han Jisung (SerialKiller!Au) || Young God ♚❄

Bang Chan (Red Queen!AU) || Scintilla

➤ MASTERLISTS

• Stray Kids •

inmyh3art’s october (2019) special

okayseungmin: Stray Kids: Halloween Series

backhugsforhyunjin: SKZ Masterlist

random-skz: SKZ Masterlist

straykidsftw: SKZ Masterlist

inmyh3art: SKZ Masterlist

spiderlix: SKZ Masterlist

• NCT •

hvndery: NCT Masterlist

valentinesicheng: NCT Masterlist

neo-cult-ure: NCT Masterlist

zkdlkimkai: NCT Masterlist

Suhdone: NCT Masterlist

chittapornswife: NCT Collection

ncthothours: NCT Masterlist

spiderlix: NCT Masterlist

• KPOP •

chenle: Kpop Masterlist

cherrysweettea: Kpop Masterlist

whereisten: Kpop Masterlist

[hyucksong]

to all the boys i’ve loved before; nct dream

preview;

   You yawned as you sat down hastily in your chair, spinning around for a few seconds before letting yourself come to a slow stop, facing your desk. It was barren and empty, all your belongings packed away either in suitcases or khaki brown cardboard boxes.

  Your eyes settled on the seven letters that were tucked away in a little slot on your desk. They were left to be burned, but after reading a book about accidentally sent letters to past love interest, you were feeling a little cheeky. Maybe you could do that, but instead of accidentally screwing yourself over, you’d do it willingly. It was perfect, in your opinion. You’d be leaving the next morning, and all you’d have to do was shove them in the ’outgoing mail’ on your way out of the neighborhood. It was a scuff free plan, but even so you were a little nervous. After all, it is the digital age, they could really track you down any time of day. You’d just have to count on the impeccable laziness of the human race, and hope that god would strike you mercilessly before they found you.

   Besides, you were sure that even if you sent out all seven of the letters, only one person would do anything about them, somehow. And while that thought alone was nerve-wracking, it was something college-you could overcome, they were supposed to be an adult after all. 

   So, with a satisfied tight-lipped smile, you turned off your desk lamp, and crawled into bed, ready to put stamps on the damned letters and send them out in the early wee-hours of the next day.

///

   So, each member will have a one-part thingy. the first part will be the letter and random happenings between you and the member that made you fall for them and whatnot. then after all of the letters are done, i will write a little extra somethin’ somethin’ of you two somehow meeting and getting to know each other again :). like, the one post will have all seven members and you started anew, it’ll be small. 

   not my only work i’m working on, but they will be pretty simple...and i’m excited. so :)

   links will be added as i finish these babies!

there’s zhong chenle;

   one of my two childhood best friends. i fell for him the second he smiled at me, when i was six. it was love at first sight, but as a six year old, the workings of love were nonexistent to me. but as soon as i turned thirteen, and he left a wet kiss on my cheek to commemorate the ‘special day’, i realized what i was feeling. so i wrote about it. it was the start of the letters, and the start of a long, drawn out heart break -- because zhong chenle didn’t like me back. it would take years to get over him and his overly-friendly gestures, and i found that i still loved him even during the rest of my crushes. it sucked.

there’s lee donhyuck;

   or as i called him (and all his close friends), haechan. i ran into him in my first detention on my first day of high school. he quipped back to a particularly stubborn teacher, and it had landed him in detention. all i did was be late to my first class. we ended up seeing each other many other times, because he always talked back, and i always overslept. we got real close over the first half of freshmen year, and i fell for his (unexpected) maturity. he knew what he wanted in life, and i...found it attractive. but i stopped talking to him once i saw him flirting with two girls in the same hour. i figured i was no different. but sometimes i wonder what would have happened if i kept snoozing my alarm.

there’s na jaemin;

   or should i say the school’s most misunderstood person? people see him as a nonstop flirt machine, but since i had to tutor him in geometry in the second half of freshmen year (he was failing second semester), i only saw him as a space-case that couldn’t understand the pythagorean theorem. i would be lying if i said his kind words and lingering gaze didn’t affect me. and while i didn’t buy into all the rumors surrounding him, i was still hurt from haechan. so, i ignored him if i didn’t need to talk to him. i think it hurt him. he was so much more than the rumors, he was empathetic and charitable. i think i fell for that look he got on his face whenever he saw a picture of something cute. it was...gentle.

there’s lee jeno;

   he was my chemistry partner in sophomore year. a lot of girls liked him, but i really couldn’t see why. yeah, he was cute, but he managed to spill three beakers of acidic acid during the same day. not very charming, if you ask me. i avoided him at all costs outside of school. but i always ran into him at the animal shelter i volunteered at. and...i think that’s when i fell for him. the way he treated other living things with such care and love...no wonder he and jaemin were best friends. i found that he was really affected by other people’s thoughts on him, it was his biggest flaw. i was by his side as he went through the motions of people hating him for no reason. i think we would have dated, but the timing wasn’t right. he was going through personal things, and...so was i. maybe i should’ve stayed by his side.

there’s park jisung;

   the other childhood best friend. chenle, jisung, and i were inseparable. jisung was the only one that knew about my major crush on chenle, and he was always there to comfort me. it wasn’t until sophomore year, that i realized how much i was hurting him. because he was so much more in love with me than i was with him. i found myself confused on my feelings for him and jeno, and that’s why i didn’t date either of them. we...don’t talk much anymore. it’s too awkward. but even so, i wonder if i can ever find someone so giving and selfless as jisung. he gave himself up for others, and when i figured out how much he sacrificed for me...i think that’s when i fell for him. he...just really would give me the whole world. it hurts me to think that i...hurt him. sometimes i wish i -- nevermind. it doesn’t matter anymore.

there’s mark lee;

   my first boyfriend. for all of junior year i (somehow) didn’t like anyone, not even chenle. he found his first love, and after that i fully moved on. jisung hung out exclusively with chenle and never with me. i was alone. but once mark lee walked through the doors in december during senior year as the transfer student from canada, and sat next to me; that would change. he made me forget every pain i’d ever had with any other crush, he made me smile, and made me feel like i was the only one that mattered. but, later i found out that i was...nothing special to him. he was using me as a rebound for his longtime girlfriend from back in canada that broke up with him. that hurt. when i found out, he was so sorry, but i couldn't really blame him. maybe he was my rebound for chenle. maybe it would’ve worked out if we both tried again, or even in a parallel universe. too bad i wasted a whole year on empty love.

and there’s huang renjun;

   in the summer before me leaving for college, i met a simple boy in a music store. he was arguing about the best vocal legends, or something like that. i wasn’t really paying attention. instead, i zeroed in on the book he was holding, it was about famous paintings throughout the centuries. all i did was tap him on the shoulder and tell him i liked paintings too, and walked away deeper into the store. but after that i bumped into him everywhere, from the coffee shop, the library, and yes, the music store. we bonded over our strong opinions and love for the arts. this love was...different. it was slow and steady, i could talk to him about anything. i could lay with him across from me on the couch for hours, and never get bored. it felt like the long-lasting type of love. we were never ‘together’, but it felt like it. he had to leave for china for family reasons. we never really worked things out. maybe he’ll come back. 

somehow, you see him again...

[honeyzhong]

🎄 tag game 🎄

I was tagged by my fave girlie @lucasthiccthighs💫💗

First Name

ariana

Last Name

h*******z

Nicknames

ari / ana / dumb bitch / any and all pet names

Pronouns

she/her

Zodiac

♎ libra // year of the snake 🐍

Age

17 💫

Height

5'7/8ish?

Time

10 PM (im just posting this now so its 10AM)

Hair Color

boring ol' brown

Fave Fruit

only apples and watermelon

Fave Season

fall/ winter,, cold >>> heat

Fave Animal

bears and giraffes

Fave Fictional Character

woooww,, um hisoka(hxh), gaara + rock lee (naruto),, brooke davis (one tree hill),, sinbad (magi),, shinha (yona of the dawn),, tormund (got),, haruhi (ohshc),, momiji (fruits basket), gowther (seven deadly sins),, eun/ jung (moon lovers),, lara jean (tatbilb),, mikasa (aot),, all the avengers :')) (mostly spidey, cap, and loki)

Fave TV Show

moon lovers (this just gives me all the angst i need i love it sm),, one tree hill (idk why i like it sm but im rewatching rn brucas forever oof),, smallville (its bot that good but i had such a crush on the clark and i def still do),, game of thrones (cliche but its so good ✊),, Magi (its so cute and amazingly slept on 😩)

Cat or Dog  

cats 🐈

Fave Color

orange and pink (yellow is growing on me)

Do you have a Crush on Tumblr

👀👀 i-

Fave Artist

bts, nct, blackpink, grace vanderwaal,, one direction (solos too),, dean lewis, ariana grande,, khalid,, etc.

Song Stuck in Your Head

waste it on me - steve aoki ft. bts,, its been on replay since it dropped

Last Movie you saw

Trolls

Last thing u googled

diy easy cake decorating,, its my dads bday but he couldnt come oof

Other blogs

 @lovelypercent its my npc blog which is gonna rise from the dead once they debut

Do you get asks?

not really but some of my lovelies do drop in ❤️

Why did you choose that url?

 Christmas~~ and i was making it sound like xmas but i do have another saved if i get bored

Following?

uhhh 200 smth

What are you Wearing

a seven deadly sins shirt and im about to put on some pj bottoms

Dream Job

movie producer

Dream Trip

backpacking around europe

Fave Food

pizza and tacos (i have the tastebuds of a child™)

Play any instruments?

haha i wish i had musical talent

Fave Song

uhhh without u (nct), best of me (bts), toy (block b), dont wanna cry (svt), etc.

Play(ed) any sports?

not rlly but i do field during track season to look good for colleges

Language(s) you speak?

english,, "learning" spanish

Random Fact

uhhh im half mexican even tho i look like casper

Describe yourself in Aesthetic

d u m b

thank so much if u read to this far and another thanks for the tag 💖