#yes I spelled channel wrong

[smokiedokie]

I opened my copy of The Tale of the Body Thief & immediately had to close it again because of this silly little annotation

[anantaru]

— rejecting his cuddles

including dan heng, jing yuan, gepard, blade x gn! reader

꒰ genre ꒱ — fluff, crack, we‘re evil

— dan heng

"nope!"

you quickly place your hands on top of dan heng‘s chest to swiftly push him away— although tied with an eased and playful shove, your boyfriend was still left baffled and most of all, supremely confused out of his damned mind.

primarily— since when did you ever reject a comforting, cozy cuddle from your pretty man the moment he rushes straight home to come and see you, principally spoil you with all the bundled up physical affection he could possibly channel and provide?

one hundred percent, never. in point of fact was it you instead who would hug him first afresh.

"oh— i‘m sorry." dan heng backs away, as to not cross any boundaries with you. his voice shakes and creaks in the back of his toughened throat. it doesn't take a genius to figure out that he in fact, did not expect to have such a hard time being rejected by you.

"s-so.. uh, yeah."

dan heng corrects himself— or lets work something out to express it differently, at least tries to spell out a follow up sentence because you actually managed to make him speechless, at loss of words with nothing more than arbitrarily prattles bubbling past the tip of his tongue and leaving his lips.

there‘s a punch of cold silence, stolen by a deep sigh from your irritated lover— one might think that dan heng strongly thought about what he had done wrong or if he messed up in some way. yes, the possibility on you playing tricks on him was always there but this time you really put in all your acting skills into this one moment, carving it to almost perfection.

"can— can i ask why?" he nervously whispers, deciding that there, nothing was as gruelling as not receiving a hug from his significant other, "i don't know, can you?" which unbeknownst to him, was playing a devilish play with all expenses falling flat on top of his shoulders.

you smirk, your body moving on its own as you suddenly shelter his body into your frame, "surprise! it's a prank!" and nuzzle yourself into his chest, cheeks flushed on top.

granted, his facial expression was hilarious, but you could only go that far before the man would suffer from a heart attack.

"you're unbelievable." dan heng rolls his eyes while leaning his head into your neck, his nostrils slightly flaring at the pocketed entry of your signature scent welcoming him at last.

"you still love me though."

— jing yuan

to wholly fool someone, precisely form their running thoughts anew, was it wishful thinking or actually possible? what an absorbing charge to partake in, you figured.

but despite that, you were awfully aware that someone as hellishly meticulous and careful to their surroundings such as jing yuan was without question to be an utmost arduous task to accept— yet, who were you to give up so easily?

your heart had been softly pounding with a minuscule increased pace signalizing your nervousness the minute your boyfriend unlocked the door to your shared home. if you had been honest to yourself, the following sequences that would normally happen work as followed— if you didn't decide to be a little evil today, they never change, you greet the man in addition to embracing him in a warm hug, point blank, and jing yuan unreservedly savored such implementing like no other.

the man sought after a soothing embracement all day long, he thinks about it, and when closes his eyes he imagines it too. it's a crucial source of serotonin to him and he requires it each night before passing out into a deep slumber with you by his side.

"i'm home, my love."

your ears point at the all too recognizable voice dotting a comforting timbre into the living room as you silently moved up from your seat to walk towards jing yuan who had made it his own personal duty to part his arms the second he sees you saunter towards him.

"hello, love." you greet him with a smile, your voice had been soft and actually managed to fool him for the short duration of your prank.

but then, "oh, no thank you!" you skillfully dodge his attempt to wrap his arms around you, waving your hand in between the awkward space of your bodies, shaking your head.

"excuse.. excuse me?" that's a little less confident than how jing yuan would for the most part articulate himself— to underscore his brilliant irritation, he cocks up a brow in disbelief.

but he's cautious, your darling— so don't be fooled, the man had a sharp and blazing eye on remote sections that might go unnoticed to other people, to the innocent faces and crowds, it was jing yuan who was keeping the control interlaced in the palm of his hand.

"hmm?"

you play the guiltless, in the clear significant other a little too well and you applaud yourself for your very own performance— at this rate it makes you wonder if you should have actually pursued a career in acting after all.

while your boyfriend was now feeling a sense of dread in his joints and limbs, the color of his eyes had gotten hidden by a dusty darkness.

"ah, i understand." he smiles, but the way he approaches you was almost tactical, and that grin on his face— on the outside, modest and upright while on the inside, it concealed a bristling confidence that yes, figuring you out was easier than he thought.

"that's okay." jing yuan walks past you, slow, each step echoing and slipping past your ears, his hand too, was listlessly tapping your shoulder once twice, as he made you turn around to face him again.

"i do not need it anymore." huh, for him to not even utter a single complaint, something, anything would do, really.

your lips pucker into a pout when you realized it‘s over, when you noticed that your boyfriend was getting way better at this, as if he had you wholly figured out from the very start— did you never stand a chance to fool him to begin with?

"ugh." you cross your arms around your body, "you knew from the start, didn‘t you?"

"of course i did, love." he breathes his words featherlight, but his smile stays strong regardless.

"i always do."

— gepard

in the beginning of your comical scheme, gepard was convinced you didn‘t want to hug him because he had just returned from training the new recruits of the silvermane guards and fair enough— he didn‘t have the chance to take a shower prior to returning to you.

yet, keep in mind, in any other instances you did not care about said fact, more so was it you who‘d practically hug him for hours on end and pepper him with kisses all over. being the mighty captain of the silvermane guards of beleborg not unexpectedly came with a tightly shut package of both it‘s very own positives and jarring negatives.

while the positives would greatly outweigh the stormy negatives by a tenfold, having limited free time to spend on each other would sometimes be a strenuous obstacle you can only manage together, as a team.

"i can shower right away." gepard panics, he didn't think it was possible for his body to sweat even more than earlier when he fought against the new recruits and your poor boyfriend curses himself underneath the warm racks of his fastened breathing on why he didn't manage to be in the bestest shape for you tonight.

he adds on, "don‘t move, i‘ll be right back!"

the sides of your mouth twitch in an amusing snort and you carry on to gnaw down on your bottom lip to suppress yet another wave of laughter, "oh, i think you‘re misunderstanding me." and step back just a little bit more to accentuate your evil plan and push your boyfriend over the edge for good.

"i don‘t want to hug you tonight." you raise your brows while scratching the back of your neck.

this sentence alone was like a sharp stab into the blonde's heart as he sets his eyes to meet your own.

"like at all." and you finish him off with an indirect blow right against his handsome features, "at— at all?"

if you were aware of one thing, it was that gepard never wasted any time to talk things out with you— basically being transparent and working together, "okay, baby'" he pauses, "listen to me." and almost squeals in sadness, placing both hands on top of your shoulders.

"if you're still sad i had to cancel our dinner the other time, i can try to figure something out—"

how adorable, you realise.

pinching his cheeks with your fingers, you smile, a shadow of intense guilt poking on your heart, "i’m sorry!" you yell, "everything is fine, i‘m sorry." and abruptly lean into his warm body, arms crossed around his chest as you sensed the upping beat of his heart underneath his ribcage.

gepard couldn’t believe you this time, truly, and lets his eyes fall close before sighing out— in relief but also a slight bit of annoyance written across the rest of his heavenly features.

"i‘ll get back at you for this."

— blade

"hmm, you sure darling?" he acts innocent that's for certain but blade’s next look on you, fuck, if you didn‘t know any better you would've sternly stated that it entirely formed into a menacing demeanor— stone cold and fierce as you felt it wash over your trembling skin.

a followed sharp click of his tongue against the roof of his mouth is all it took for you to whole-heartedly regret and loathe even considering to work out a prank against your boyfriend, at all.

"yes, i pass."

notwithstanding, you couldn‘t back away now, quite obviously would it blow up in your face with you becoming the pranked one instead. at this graven point the entire situation had already been in great favor of blade instead of you— the most plausible solution would be to somehow make it out as a winner regardless while your lover thoroughly found delight in engaging in those games with you.

"what a shame." he sighs and tilts his head to the right— pending his eyes from your lips to your legs and up, then approaching you a step closer so your cheeks could immediately sense his warm breathing.

"and here i thought my significant other actually liked me." and slowly whispers his finishing line against the shell of your ear while idly leaving it to his gravelly voice to place a shivering thunder-like sensation on your skin, in this cold your body welcomed the flames of your flustering frame, the furnacing warmth and the fuel this man was capable to inflict on you was ridiculous, but so did you work wonders on his psyche.

you knew your boyfriend, entirely— his sweet perceptions, his personal views and his virtually scary attention to detail for bodily responses of his usual targets.

"ugh, cut the crap blade." you roll your eyes at him playfully, laughing out a frustrated heave with a deep scowl on your lips.

"me?" blade dramatically places his hand on top of his chest, his mesmerizing eyes growing at the size of saucers, what a pain in the neck, literally.

"yes you."

despite everything, you, with the kindness of your heart, attempted to silently move forward to cuddle him, practically leaving your failed prank in the past while blade, in his radiating confidence, was swift to dodge you.

"no thanks." blade says sternly, "i‘m rejecting this hug."

how unwelcomely, indecently, annoyingly typical for your boyfriend to turn this entire malfunctioning situation upside down and play it into his very own favor.

if only he wasn‘t so breathtakingly handsome when he greeted you and presented his confidence so tastefully, smiled so prettily at you too, his shining whites and canines poking from under his lips and greatly accentuating the rest of his bewitching features while his large hands slowly ran up and down your shaking arms.

"tsk." you avert your gaze, not being certain if you're more embarrassed that you lost or that he beat you so effortlessly too, "you‘re unbelievable blade."

okay, hold on— even though you started this game, now witnessing it in a different perspective on how it would‘ve played out the other way around was a little frustrating, to say the least— while you also made sure that you‘re calling yourself out for that sprinkle bit of hypocrisy climbing up on you.

"i‘m unbelievably funny." he drawls back at you with a wink and kisses your forehead playfully— then your nose, which he found adorable and lastly your cheeks before gently trapping your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger to make you look at him, "and i have to put you in your place sometimes, you know?"

as he at last, conveniently pulls you into a warm hug, both smiling and laughing into the comfort of the situation.

2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[that-guy-sleepy-miles]

Hello folks, it's Miles here! You may know me as the guy who deduced what Rayman is snorting in episode 5 of Captain Laserhawk! And today, I'll be going over how...

There Are 6 Types of Magic in LEGO Monkie Kid

You can honestly stop here if you don't want to get into the most convoluted stuff ever. If you're vaguely interested but don't have much time, click read more and scroll down to Red Son, because he's where shit gets interesting.

A disclaimer! I've literally never broken down or written a magic system before, I'm just like. writing down and making sense of what I've noticed while watching the show. If you disagree with my assessment of a character's magic, think there's a better term for something I've described, or think I'm just plain wrong, please let me know so I can update the post! I don't know what I'm doing, and I've never looked into magic systems before!

An important thing to note is that LEGO Monkie Kid adheres somewhat to the power systems in Chinese mythology, so I will be bringing up concepts from Chinese mythology that are not talked about in the show. Honestly, if you went 100% on the show and not on Chinese mythology at all, there wouldn't be a magic system in the first place.

Now, let's begin!

‎

First, vocabulary.

Magic Class: The root of a user's magic. Classes are not exclusive, but actually compounding. For example, Wukong has Intrinsic-based Actively Cultivated Magic. Magic Subtype: A modifier to a class; additional information to explain how a user's magic came to be or how it works. For example, Tang has Revitalized Bestow-Inherited Actively Cultivated³ Magic — the subtype goes before the class because it's a modifier. (Yes, I will explain why his Actively Cultivated Magic is cubed.)

(In the naming scheme of magic, everyone has a full classification and then a shorthand classification. The classifications above were all shorthand.)

Magical Energy: The basic form of magic; unfiltered energy that can be channeled, manipulated, and cultivated. This energy can be used to attack directly or utilized in a spell. MAGICAL ENERGY IS QI, "MAGIC" IS JUST BEING USED BECAUSE THIS IS WRITTEN FOR A WESTERN AUDIENCE. Power: A defined ability, such as a spell or a technique. Not all Powers are explicitly named, but powers have defined forms and details whereas Magical Energy is usually a geometric shape. Examples of Powers: 72 Transformations, Golden Sight, teleportation. Magical Expression: How Magical Energy and Powers form upon release. Examples of Magical Expression are glowing eyes, full body glowing, magical seals, anime-esque energy blasts, Red Son's* fire, Ne Zha's fire (two VERY different forms of Magical Expression), and Macaque's purple shadow outline. Ne Zha's Wind Fire Wheels are examples of Magical Expression with a conduit. Zero Magical Expression ≠ zero release, but can. Conduits: Anything that can hold, channel, or manipulate Magical Energy. All living beings and magical artifacts are examples of conduits.

Channeling: Collecting magical energy internally Releasing: The basis of Magical Expression; using collected magical energy for an attack

(Mei showcasing channeling and releasing in Rip and Tear) You can always tell when a character is channeling and releasing.

Knowing which class of magic a character is using can be hard — they all tend to utilize anime-esque energy blast graphics and glowing bodies for Magical Expression — so you have to pay close attention. I'll be going over how to identify the specific magic types as we go through them.

Each type of magic has a "poster child" — a character that fully embodies that type — and I'll be using them to explain how the magic works. Once we finish the easily categorized magics, we'll get into the Special Cases.

(MK showcasing Intrinsic Magic in Rip and Tear)

(Wukong showcasing Cultivated Magic in A Lifetime of Mistakes)

Now, onto the classes of magic!

Intrinsic Magic is a class of magic...

That's not inherently pedigree-related. Ne Zha's father Li Jing was a mortal man.

Most gods and local deities have, and some yaoguai have. (Older demons like DBK and Wukong have Intrinsic Magic, while younger demons like Pigsy and Sandy might technically have Inherited Magic. It all depends on how you want to look at it.)

That usually comes with unique powers, commonly the ability to walk and talk upon birth. (Wukong got laser eyes, and Red Son* got the Samadhi Fire).

And holders have unnatural births? Pangu's cosmic egg, Ne Zha being born a ball of flesh after being gestated for three years, Wukong's rock that's existed since the dawn of time, etc.

Ne Zha is the epitome of Intrinsic Magic! If you think Intrinsic Magic, you think Ne Zha. The unmistakable way to identify Intrinsic Magic is to look for themes. If a character has a theme to their magic, again and again, they likely have Intrinsic Magic! For example:

Ne Zha's Intrinsic Theme is (obviously) lotus flowers/petals.

Red Son's* Intrinsic Theme is flames.

Macaque would be a contender for intrinsic magic (we will be getting back to him, though).

Cultivated Magic is a class of magic that has two subclasses: ACTIVE and PASSIVE, and...

That's ENTIRELY self-created. A magical pedigree can help, but no pedigree is required in Cultivated Magic — Li Jing cultivated magic as a completely human man, for example.

That NEEDS a Conduit. The conduit for Cultivated Magic can be the magic user themselves, but often it's a magical artifact or a technique. Note: a conduit doesn't require Cultivated Magic to be used, but Cultivated Magic requires a conduit. (Known Conduits include: Wukong's Cloud Somersault, Nezha's Wind Fire Wheels, and Princess Iron Fan's Banana Leaf Fan.)

That's very backstory-heavy. There's always a way that a character learned or got their power, or a description of how old they are.

A magic that you see most with yaoguai and immortals. The older the yaoguai, the more cultivated they are.

Passive Cultivation: Every living being is a conduit for passive cultivation — by existing, you are passively cultivating. The best method of passive cultivation is age; the older something is, the more passively cultivated. A Huli jing is the best example of passively cultivated magic. According to literature, the older a fox is, the more power it accrues.

Active Cultivation: Active Cultivation is when a being seeks out magical power. The most common form of active cultivation is being taught Tao techniques (Wukong's Cloud Somersault, Li Jing's Burning Pagoda Art). In this situation, the technique is the conduit. Other forms of actively cultivating magic are yaoguai eating humans and magic-accruing technology (specifically DBK's Furnace armor, which converts rarity into magical energy.)

Cultivated Magic comes with the implication of being wise, at least in some form, and those with cultivated magic are able to teach others. Being a disciple immediately means you have Actively Cultivated Magic.

Cultivated Magic often doesn't have Magical Expression, because it's all about existing and learning. When it does have Magical Expression, it's usually depictions of strength and power or the conduit itself glowing.

(Wukong's hairs glow as they are used as conduits for his cloning technique in Macaque)

(Wukong and Macaque's strength is showcased through Magical Expression during a fight in Macaque)

Cultivated Magic can be seen through any technique that was stated to have learned, such as Wukong's astral projection and his speed/quick reflexes.

(Wukong focusing in order to astral project to MK in Dumpling Destruction)

(MK having to actively learn and practice astral projecting in Minor Scale)

MK: Monkey King! It worked! Monkey King: Hey, bud. So, you figured out astral projection, huh? MK: Yeah, and I only had five nose bleeds.

Cultivated Magic is best showcased in action, and characters cultivate over the course of the show.

(Wukong showcasing his Cultivated Magic by pulling some fast ones on MK in Impossible Delivery)

(4 seasons later in Strings That Bind, Wukong and MK spar, showcasing MK's Cultivated Magic. Tumblr will NOT let me embed both videos, and the first one is more important, so this will just be a link.)

Inherited Magic is a class of magic that has two subclasses: ANCESTERAL and BESTOWED, and...

Comes from someone else and was given to or passed down to the magic user.

Is sourced from Intrinsic or Cultivated Magic, but the magic user is not intrinsically magical/did not cultivate that magic themselves. The Intrinsic/Cultivated Magic is specific to another (perhaps deceased) being.

Can have ZERO Magical Expression or release.

If a character has Ancestor-Inherited Magic, they'll have a family animal, a family artifact, and/or a known ancestor.

If a character has Bestow-Inherited Magic, they were given their power by another magic user (known as the Bestower) so that they would serve that magic user, defeat a foe, or as a reward. Bestow-Inherit Magic users are often previously mortal.

Bestow-Inherited Magic is most blatantly a character giving another character magical powers, but being granted godhood, being brought back to life under a deal, and everyone receiving heavenly ranks/Wukong and Tripitaka receiving Buddhahood and Buddha titles at the end of Journey To The West is also Bestow-Inherited Magic.

A quick note: Older yaoguai (DBK, Azure Lion, Wukong) are considered to have Intrinsic Magic, but Modern yaoguai (Pigsy, Sandy) are deemed to have Inherited Magic. This is because these younger demons are not yaoguai specifically unto themselves — their status as a yaoguai comes from their ancestors. They have no unique, intrinsic powers, nor were they specifically predestined to be yaoguai despite their heritage (such as in the case of Nezha, who was predestined to be a celestial being).

For example, Pigsy. His status as a Magic User exists because of his family history. While, yes, his family is important to his character and story, it's not something he did himself — he did not cultivate his grandma — and there is nothing unique about him biology-wise besides just being a pig demon. He is a reincarnation, but being a reincarnation didn't make him a yaoguai. (That was a whole fate, symbolism deal, though.) If Pigsy hadn't been born, his family would still have a pig demon kid.

Now, onto the subtypes. (As a reminder, a subtype modifies a class!)

Revitalized Magic is a subtype of magic. It means that the magic is from a pre-incarnation that a character unlocks and requires reincarnation.

Uuuuunless it doesn't, and it required Un-Death. Auto-Revitalization of Magic is definitely a thing, but it's not a real category. It's just a specification to explain things that have happened to a character.

For example: The reason Macaque's shadows turned into chaos magic at the end of season 5 is because he's dead. He's outside of the reincarnation cycle, he's Undead, his magic is Auto-Revitalized —so when the reincarnation cycle is broken, his magic is also changed. At least, that's my personal theory. I might be DEAD WRONG.

Okay, back to Revitalized Magic proper: Remember back when I said Tang's magic was cubed? Yeah, this is why. (Before we start, Táng Sānzàng will be referred to as Tripitaka from here on out.)

The full classification of Tang's magic is: Potential Revitalized Bestow-Inherited (Tripitaka), Revitalized Actively Cultivated (Golden Cicada), Revitalized Actively Cultivated (Tripitaka), Actively Cultivated Magic. (Maybe, we'll get into this.)

The entire reason demons tried to eat Tripitaka was because he was the reincarnation of the Golden Cicada, who was a disciple of Buddha, which made Tripitaka's flesh holy. Being a disciple immediately means Actively Cultivated Magic; Tripitaka had Revitalized Actively Cultivated Magic. Tripitaka was a Buddhist disciple as well, which means he also Actively Cultivated. If Tang is a reincarnation of Tripitaka, who is a reincarnation of the Golden Cicada, then Tang has Revitalized Actively Cultivated Magic twice (or, even, 10 times, if you look at the Sandalwood Buddha thing, but Tripitaka and Golden Cicada are the important disciples so we're only counting them).

If Tang has Revitalized Actively Cultivated Magic and Revitalized Actively Cultivated Magic, that means he has Revitalized Actively Cultivated Magic². However,

Tang is a SCHOLAR. BEING A SCHOLAR MEANS THAT TANG IS ALSO AN ACTIVE CULTIVATOR.

HENCE, TANG HAS ACTIVELY CULTIVATED MAGIC³.

Celestial Magic is a subclass of magic that includes any magic with a seal. It's not exclusive to Celestial beings, but it's most often used by beings with Heavenly connections.

Celestial Magic is also known as "Spells", I'm pretty sure. Wukong just dropped this terminology on us in Season 5, and spells usually require words, but like. Okay, buddy. Whatever. You're the magic guy.

Celestial Seals have a unique symbol for every "Artist", or a Hànzì that explains the spell's purpose. For example, Li Jing's seals have a little pagoda on them, and the containment spell's seal (the only thing that can truly be called a spell here) has the character "牢", which means "prison" (or "enclosure", which is hilarious because it's containing 3 monkeys).

Consequential Magic is any magical energy or power gained as a result of an action taken by someone who is NOT the magic user.

Consequential is not a subclass of Cultivated because the magic user had no say in acquiring/did not know they were acquiring Consequential Magic; Consequential is not a subclass of Inherited because the magic user was not intentionally given these powers and they did not come from ancestry.

(Red Son* is literally the reason this subtype exists.) Every example of Consequential Magic is different, so I'm just going to some of the ones I know of in canon:

Wukong's Golden Sight (Consequence of the Eight Trigrams Furnace; Torture-consequence)

Ao Lie having the Samadhi Fire inside him after they fucked up the seal (Samadhi Fire/Red Son*; Samadhi-consequence)

Mei Dragon's ability to harness the Samadhi Fire/the remnants left over inside her after (Samadhi Fire/Red Son*; Samadhi-consequence)

MK's human form (form as in the shape of something btw) (Xiangliu fucked his shit up; Birth Interference-Consequence)

Macaque's new Chaos Magic (Xiangliu fucked his shit up; Chaos-Consequence)

I have spent this entire post explaining the way magic seems to work in LEGO Monkie Kid, getting slightly more and more unhinged as we go on. But there might be two things on your mind: Why? and Why does Red Son's* name have an asterisk on it every time I've mentioned him in this post?

I can answer both of those questions with one statement: Red Son does not adhere to the magic rules other characters follow. I've tried to find examples to see if I was thinking of the magic wrong — and that's fully possible — but I didn't find anything. In fact, the more I look, the more sure of this I become. It's like he actively decides against following the rules of the magic system.

He can be used as EXAMPLES of the magic system, but when you dig into his magic specifically, it's completely wack-a-doo.

First and foremost:

Red Son has a completely unique form of Magic Expression. His emotions are directly linked to his Magical Expression and release.

Emotionally linked magic release is something no other character does, but here he is doing it over and over and over again. The only example close to it is MK's Mystic Monkey form flickering in and out when he's distraught, and that's LITERALLY CREATION-GIVEN NÜWA MAGIC, THAT'S FROM A CREATURE WHOSE CANONICALLY "OUTSIDE OF THE 10 SPECIES" AND CANNOT BE CATEGORIZED?? AND ALSO NOT QUITE THE SAME EITHER.

(This could also be attributed to the concentration part of the Samadhi Fire, but he doesn't... seem to have access to that anymore? At least, not like Mei does. We'll consider it a factor in his magic expression, though.)

About his fire,

Red Son and his mom are the only two characters with Wuxing/Elemental Magic — every other example comes from a magical artifact. It's actually a 50/50 chance on whether or not PIF has wind powers or if the Banana Leaf Fan gives her wind powers (I'm pretty sure it gives her wind powers, but just to be safe we'll count her as having wind powers.) Wuxing Magic is not uncommon in actual Chinese mythology, but it is in the show for some reason. And it ALWAYS has an artifact as a conduit. Wuxing Magic always seems to be just a visual effect or an added addition to attacks in the show.

Another weird ass thing about Red Son's magic is its contrast with Nezha's. I'm pretty sure Red Son's fire is actual fire that he conjures magically, in contrast to Nezha's Wind Fire Wheels (conduits that Nezha fuels, and release Wuxing Magic as a visual effect) which make specifically magical fire.

Okay, so, I've been going through this assuming you're aware of the show's visuals concerning magic, but this is important for me to cover in detail. Everyone has two magic colors (white doesn't count for this). They can change in lighting, but you'll always recognize them as being the same general colors. Other colors may be used for emphasis, but they'll only be darker versions of the colors and they'll be used as a background for the main colors. (Quick note, MK and Wukong might have only one magic color? Fun stuff.)

The reason I think Red Son's magic is not... magic persay, is because it doesn't follow the color rule. Like, it's not actually the color of Red Son's magical energy half the time, it doesn't follow the magic color rule. Red Son's fire shifts like an actual fire, which is very cool visually, but is not how magic works.

(Quick note, magic seems to be lighter in the celestial realm. This is because the Celestial Realm is really well-lit. The environment is literally pure sunlight or some shit, so all the characters and their magic are in perfect lighting. So Red Son's magic getting inexplicably darker would make no sense unless Red Son's magic is doing that on its own and the lighting has nothing to do with it.)

His magic also isn't the color of the Samadhi Fire, nor is his fire. That time in season 5 when Mei helped him with the seal, the two of them together made a Samadhi Fire-colored seal. He didn't seem capable of doing that by himself, which leads me to my conclusion:

I think the suppression of the Samadhi Fire suppressed Red Son's Intrinsic Magic as a whole, and his magical core (as one user put it) is compensating by drawing directly from his element.

Characters having an element isn't a new thing. Wukong's element is metal, he's a metal guy, it's why he can't swim, and it's why MK can't swim. MK needs floaties because he'll sink like a rock because he shares the metal element with Wukong.

But this is a possible explanation for why Red Son's magic is so weird.

On the note of Mei having more access to the Samadhi Fire than him, Skellebonez (my rock through this journey of a post) brought up a good point: "[I] think it makes sense because whatever they did to remove it from him could have also added a barrier preventing its return to an extent[.] Like a filter[.]"

This Intrinsic Magic cap/Samadhi Filter might also explain why he keeps getting his shit rocked despite having such potential to be powerful (that's probably just because it's silly tho) and it could explain why his parents are so damn disappointed in him in season 1. It's because they took his magic from him (however unintentionally) and he's not as magical anymore. The only type of categorizable magic he uses is Celestial magic, which HUMANS can use and can be bestowed on ANYONE. You can just like... LEARN THAT, and I think he just did.

In canon, nobody ever seems to be hurt by Red Son's fire? It seems to just be... a thing that he does. Everyone is less and less scared of it as the show goes on, and the only thing it does major damage to is MK's apartment. He uses his fists to attack more than he uses his fire, it's generally left as a visual effect. Red Son uses his fire as an intimidation tactic, not as an actual weapon, and I think this could also be explained by an Intrinsic Magic cap. His intrinsic magic is suppressed, so he has to rely on things like physical strength/cultivation.

I also think nobody knows this in canon, they didn't know about it, or they don't understand it. I think Red Son has a magic limiter on him, which is why his parents were such raging fuckasses in season one. They thought their son was "useless", or in Wukong's words, "half-baked", after showing such promise in his childhood before an incident. They only got a healthier relationship after they stopped obsessing over power and spent some family time together, when they realized that their son being a powerful magical demon isn't the most important thing in the world. (AND WE WEREN'T SHOWN IT.)

Red Son is magic-disabled, in this essay I did.

ALL MAGIC COMES FROM THE PRIMORDIAL CHAOS, SO, IN ACTUALITY, ALL OF IT IS THE SAME! FUCK YOU!

[just-a-ghost00]

Channeled messages from your divine counterpart's higher self.

Images were found on Pinterest. In this reading, I have used several oracles, including one I made myself. This oracle provides us with songs that may hold significant messages for us. You may want to listen to the songs as you are reading the channeled messages or add them to your playlist.

Group 1

Songs : Sweater weather - The Neighbourhood, MIA - Bad Bunny feat Drake, Find me - SIGMA feat Birdy Merlin oracle :

Everything is fine. Don't worry.

Guinevra Queen of Arthur - There is no king without a queen : you need both feminine and masculine. Combine your thinking, your sensitivity and creativity to your decision making skills and your actions. It is in this fair and balanced union that fruitful projects are birthed.

The power of mischief - Laugh, laugh and laugh : If life is being tricky, laugh with it. If it is burlesque, make fun of it. If it is cynical, fuck with it. Facing it's provoking, remember that the more time goes by, the less it will matter. So laugh it off!

Cavansite - Expand your consciousness. Tourmalined quartz - Restore your perfect light. Copper - Energize your whole world. Spirit animals : Arctic fox, black cat, white shark Key words : being your true self, leaving behind old beliefs, noticing the toxic patterns in and around you, spirituality, intuition, mystery, Bangchan stan

I know you are trying to reach me. I can feel you in the air I breathe, on the tip of my tongue whenever I wake up from a (wet) dream. I know you wish to find me sooner than later. That you long for me as much as I long for you. But the universe has other plans. And I'm too busy anyway. I know it's a harsh thing to say considering all the love you have for me. Believe me, I couldn't be any happier to have you as my forever after. My partner in crime. But right now isn't the time. I have so much left to do. So many things to cleanse and dust off. I cannot hold space for you, no matter how much I wish you were in my life. Yes, it's painful. Yes, I think about us every day. Yes, I want you more than anything in the world. But there are surely more interesting things for you to do than to worry about my whereabouts and my well being. I don't want you to lose sleep over me. I don't want you to deprive yourself of good times, opportunities, love for me. I want you to live. To experiment. To have fun. I want you to be the soul everyone talks about. The heart of the party. The sunshine that doesn't need anyone to radiate their light. I don't want you to wait for me in vain. I don't want to be a burden to you. I know deep in my soul that if we both give our best and be present for the things and people that matter to us, that if we both deliver then surely our paths will cross. I know deep in my heart that all paths lead to you. And I want you to believe that too. There is no such thing as making the wrong turn. So please don't reject anyone or anything just because you think I wouldn't like it. Live your life. Speak your truth. Be you. And love yourself just as much as I love you. Talk to you later. *sends spiritual hug*

Group 2

Songs : At my worst - Pink Sweats, Life goes on - AGUSTD, 3:00 AM - Finding Hope Spirit animals : Scarab, Scorpio, Dragon

Serpentine - Awaken your reptilian nature. Celestite - Tune in to your serenity. Kunzite - Open up your love channel.

Merlin oracle :

Once upon a time, Merlin - Raise your potential : You were born with considerable internal resources. Honor the gifts that were passed down to you. Raise your potential and embrace from now on what you were destined to be. You have all that is needed to succeed!

King Uther Pendragon - Serve what is dear to your heart : if you have rights, you also have duties. By honoring them, you will earn respect and love from those whom you hold dear. Ask yourself what you duties are in this situation and you shall know what to do.

Pixies spell - Let go : If you're feeling lost, discover new horizons. Keep your mind busy with light occupations to ward off worries. Letting go is the best way to find your way back.

The round table - There is no Grand or Little man : you are as respectable, capable, important as any other being. You are important to the fates that intertwine to create new stories. Dare to act, express, fight for and honor. Show what you are made of.

Keywords : Seonghwa stan, animal crossing, showing your true colors, arthurian legends, mythology nerd, heaven on earth

This time again I had a dream. A dream where someone or something took you away from me. When I looked deeper, I saw my reflection in the eyes of the beast. And I understood that the only thing keeping me away from you was myself. I am scared to death. Scared that you won't love me for who I am. I'm afraid that my anger and my fire will burn you. I am not an easy person to be with. More than once, I have disappointed people around me. I disappointed myself. I'm afraid that I can't make you happy and give you the love and respect you deserve. You are like royalty. And I feel like a mere peasant. I'm afraid I have nothing much to bring to the table. I fear that I will dim your light instead of protecting and enhancing it. All kings have a queen. But if I'm a peasant, how could I ever dream to stand by your side? How could I ever raise to your level? I feel like there are worlds between us and terrible beasts to be slain before I can ever get to you. The journey ahead seems frightening. And I don't know where it will lead. If the path were to take me through hell only to make me lose you, I would never be able to forgive myself. I would never recover. So please, don't break my heart. And if you can, save yourself. Don't burn your wings trying to get me out of the well I fell in. Promise?

Group 3

Songs : My Power - Beyoncé, Comflex - Stray Kids, Don't go yet - Camilla Cabello Spirit animals : arctic fox, sea turtle, scorpion

Jet - Claim your space. Bismuth - Rewrite your code with rainbows. Sodalite - Deepen your intuition.

Keywords : Changbin and LeeKnow stans, self worth, body image issues, speaking your truth, destiny, intensity, blues, mental wellness, Blue Monday, Jutdae, Black Panther

Merlin oracle :

Arthur's fate - Be the hero of your own destiny.

The power of authenticity - Go beyond appearances.

The power of mischief - Laugh, laugh and laugh!

I feel so lucky to have you in my life. When I think of you, my heart lightens up because I know how special you are. You bow to no one and yet, somehow, you chose to let me in. You chose to trust me when no one would. To believe in me when all abandoned me. Surely, you must be a wizard or some deity. An angel maybe. Because never would I have ever thought that someone would care about me so deeply. I have never met someone like you. Someone so brave and powerful, so loving and kind, generous, fierce and loyal to a fault. I'm so addicted to you. In your energy, I feel safe and protected. I'm usually the kind to appear strong and fight for the people I love. But with you, I feel like I can be myself and let my guards down. With you, I know I will never be judged. I know I can be vulnerable without fearing that you'll stab me in the back. People have done that to me before, you know? But I know you would never. I trust you with my life. I can't wait to meet you. Where you at? What you up to? Do you miss me? Cause I sure as hell do. I want you all to myself. I know you are my destiny. Let's have fun together, shall we? I love you to the moon and back. Don't you dare forget me! Oh and no matter what you think, you are amazing. Don't let people bring you down, sunshine.

[honeyjars-sims]

3.35 Sticky Situation

It’s the second day of our camping trip and I’m realizing that even when she’s on vacation, Lucy is still in work mode. With the spotty cell service on the mountain, she’s not able to do any actual work so she’s channeling all of her energy into making sure things run smoothly on the trip.

She was up before the rest of us this morning cleaning up our mess from the night before and now that everyone’s awake, she’s been looking for things to do. “We should gather more firewood,” she says.

“We have all day to do that,” I tell her. “Just relax. This is a vacation, remember?”

“I know, but I can’t relax when there are things that need to be done. I always get like this when I’m…on vacation.” I have a feeling there’s more going on but before I can ask her about it, Paul jumps in.

“Well, if you can’t relax until things are done, then at least let someone else do it,” he insists. He turns to me. “John and I can gather up some firewood while you get in some relaxation.”

I start to protest the suggestion–I always hate it when I get roped into hard labor just because I’m a guy–but Lucy looks so relieved that I decide to let it go. “Yeah, we’ll take care of it,” I say instead, and Paul and I head off into the woods.

We barely make it a few feet before Paul starts droning on about how you want to make sure you get the right type of wood, and you have to make sure the pieces you pick aren’t too wet, and blah, blah, blah. “Yeah, yeah,” I cut in. “If I have to do this, then I’m gonna do it my way.”

“Oh? What’s your way? If you have any insights, I’m happy to hear them.”

“It’s pretty simple. Is this wood? If yes, then I pick it up.”

“Hmm, ok,” he says, sounding uncertain. “I suppose we’ll see how that goes tonight.” 

“I guess we will.”

“You���re kind of competitive aren’t you?” he asks.

I feel my face growing hot, remembering how I tried–and failed–to show him up on our last hiking trip. “Uh, not really,” I mutter.

“Oh, so, it’s just with me then?” His words would sound confrontational if not for the softness of his tone. He seems more curious than argumentative.

“Look, I’m sorry about all of that. I was just feeling a little insecure with all of the attention you were getting from the girls. I’m trying to be more mature about it, though.”

“Ahh, the girls,” he replies. “That’s what that was about. I don’t see what you’re so insecure about, though.”

“Well, I mean, you’re going to be a doctor, and you’re more athletic than I am.” Spelling out my insecurities isn’t exactly making me feel better about them. 

Paul shrugs. “I don’t even start med school until the fall,” he counters. “Besides, you had everyone laughing and that’s something I’ve never been good at. In fact, I’m famous in my family for telling the worst jokes.”

“Oh, really?” I ask, excited for an opportunity to pass on some advice about something I’m good at. “In my opinion, the main thing people get wrong about comedy is that they try too hard to be funny instead of just finding opportunities naturally.”

“You think so? Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong.”

“It could be. Go ahead, just say what comes to mind without thinking too much about whether or not it’s funny.”

“Uh, ok, what’s brown and sticky?” he asks.

“I don’t know, what is it?”

“A stick!”

This is not a good joke. Like objectively it’s not, but he has this huge grin on his face like he’s standing on stage at a sold out comedy show, and I can’t help but laugh with him. Not in a mean way; he’s so pleased with himself that it’s kind of endearing. “It was good?” he asks eagerly.

“Well…” I choose my words carefully. “Maybe the joke wasn’t the best, but I think you have the right attitude. I’m sure if you start looking out for the humor in different situations then it’ll start coming naturally to you.”

“Ok, well, thanks for the feedback.”

“No problem. We should probably start gathering up that wood. What did you say we should look for again?”

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

[klonnieshippersclub]

Bound By Fate

Here's my entry for Day 3 and it's another longer one. Sorry, this is so late! I was surprisingly busy today. This was written for the prompt "Trapped." It takes place during season 3. Bonnie and Klaus can't escape a classroom at Mystic Falls High with magic holding them there against their will. They're basically being held hostage by Bonnie's ancestor Ayana.

“What the hell?” questioned Bonnie as she paced back and forth in the classroom. Neither Klaus’ physical strength nor Bonnie's magic would allow them to leave the room. Klaus had tried to bust down the door and smash windows but nothing would work. The familiar warmth of Bennett magic lingering in the air was the only thing stopping Bonnie from panicking. “Why would Bennett magic be trapping me in here with you?”

“It feels familiar. Ayana?” Klaus called out to the empty classroom and candles on the desk were magically lit as proof that his assumptions were correct. “Love, your ancestor must want us here for a reason.”

“Who is that?” asked Bonnie.

“Your ancestor. No one taught you about her?”

“You know I’m self-taught,” defended Bonnie as she wrinkled her nose. Her grandmother neglected to inform her of her powers until a year ago. If only Grams had told her the truth about her witch heritage instead of claiming they were drunken ramblings.  “I haven't gotten to her yet.”

“You should've started with her,” reprimanded Klaus from the desk chair he sat in. “It's important to know your history, little witch.”

“I think I've heard her name before and you seem to have known her but from when?” 

“It was long ago when I was weak and mortal. She was like a mother to me.” The fondness in his voice for Ayana caught Bonnie off guard. She could only imagine a mother figure to Klaus as being a nightmare, considering the monster he is now.

“So why are we here then? Was she malicious?”

“No, sweetheart, she was a healer and our village loved her.”

“Why does she want us here?”

“Relax and let her explain,” said Klaus as he stood beside Bonnie. He could sense the high schooler’s growing anxiety. He too was irritated but not with her. His aggravation was due to the feeling of being trapped as if he was caught in a spider’s web.

“No offense to Ayana but my ancestors haven't proven to be trustworthy.”

The lights in the classroom began to flicker. Blue smoke appeared and circled the center of the room. A tall, dark-skinned woman suddenly appeared in clothes from a different era. Klaus’ eyes widened at the sight of her. Bonnie eyed the woman suspiciously but deduced from Klaus' relaxed body language that she was not a threat.

Ayana appeared as regal as Bonnie expected, with her deep bronze skin and loc'd black hair cascading down her shoulders. Ayana maintained her orange dress and brown smock in the afterlife from her work as a healer.

“Bonnie, I did not do this to hurt you both.” Ayana expected Bonnie to be more excited about the new task. Every witch was tasked with being a servant of nature. Bonnie would be the leader of the millennium. 

“Ayana, it is good to see you.” 

“Niklaus, you certainly have not made me proud,” frowned the witch elder. He was such a sweet boy as a child and she hoped he would grow into a good man. He never had a chance with vampirism forced upon him by his parents. 

“I know you would never punish me.”

“A millennium ago, I did a spell that would bind two powerful beings; the perfect pair who would complete each other,” Ayana said with more enthusiasm. Hundreds of descendants have existed since then and Bonnie will fulfill the prophecy. 

“You performed it after Henrik died?” His family were at their lowest after Henrik was mauled by werewolves. It would only make sense Ayana channeled her grief into something stronger. 

“Yes, you are those beings.”

“Are you saying I’m stuck with him?” Bonnie murmured as she looked up towards the ceiling and silently prayed to God that she had heard wrong. 

“Exactly. Together, you two will end the war between vampires, witches, and wolves,” her ancestor divulged. Ayana didn’t find her prophecy vigorous, Niklaus had the potential to be a suitable partner and Bonnie was the strongest of their lineage. 

“I'm in high school and I'm supposed to end a war,” the cheerleader exclaimed, holding in her anger. This was not how she envisioned her senior year! 

“With the end of the war, the supernatural will need rulers to govern and lead.”

“Rulers as in royalty?”

“I always knew I was meant to be king,” boasted Klaus. He thought of himself as the king of vampires. Hell, he even practically wore a crown in New Orleans, since he ran the city, when he called it home. With Bonnie by his side, he would be Emperor of them all. “You're not up for the challenge, my little wife?” 

Bonnie hadn’t looked at Klaus since Ayana revealed they were bound. She refused to entertain Klaus’ referral to her as his wife and continued to ignore him.  “How exactly do we stop this war?” wondered the Bennett teen in confusion. She was a student, not a soldier. Or would she be a commanding officer technically? This was too much for her. She had exams to focus on, but Bonnie recognized the seriousness of the mission she'd been assigned 

Ayana disclosed, “Your victory will be ensured by creating a unified family and continuing your bloodlines with the help of your own coven and pack.” Family was power and it’s the key to their success.

“Excuse me?”

“It makes sense,” Klaus drawled and smirked when Bonnie finally turned to glare at him.

Ayana noted, “That is why I brought you two together.” She knew when she first met the Mikaelsons that her bloodline would join with theirs. It felt like an eternity until her vision came to fruition. 

“You sold me off to him!” choked Bonnie. Klaus was not the type of man she hoped for. He was too violent, too selfish. How would she survive life with him? 

“I never said you had to stop the war tomorrow, Bonnie,” sighed Ayana. Her descendant must put aside her feelings for the good of the supernatural world. 

“Klaus isn’t the person you remember!” 

“I do know how to behave,” teased Klaus as he caressed Bonnie's face, pulling back before she slapped his hand away. “Sometimes.”

“You can’t think a child would be safe with your problems.”

“As a Bennett witch, you’ve had enemies since birth and so will our child.”

“Thanks, Klaus,” said Bonnie sarcastically. That's another reason why she should have been taught magic as a child. She felt so far behind in her magical studies. If she had an upbringing like Greta or Luka, then she'd be more prepared for war.

“I thought you would appreciate honesty. Fate has decided your future and you can't fight it.”

“I’m tired of there always being something or someone choosing for me. I want to control my own fate.”

“I'm afraid that isn't an option, witch.”

“I should be able to decide for myself what my future is.  What if I don't want to be with you or if I don't want to be a queen or if I don't want to be a mother?”

Ayana stared at Bonnie's glassy eyes and offered no words of comfort. She remarked, “I never said you had to make those decisions today.”

“It is fine, Ayana,” Klaus interjected. Of all the witches to be bound to, fate was surprisingly kind to him and gave him the best. Bonnie’s physical qualities (her curvy and athletic figure), personality (clever and fierce), and magical power (she brought him closer to death than anyone had before) all made her the perfect mate for her. “I have time to change her mind.”

“How will you do that? Shove your tongue down my throat?” asked Bonnie.

“I'm going to be the husband you deserve.”

“I'll leave you two to it,” grinned Ayana. “And remember that you can't run from fate.” She knew Niklaus would make her kin change her mind. She made herself disappear, leaving them time to chat. 

“This is so unfair,” Bonnie pouted. She should be thinking of school dancers and not starting a family with her enemy. 

“You should be happy about being a queen,” stated Klaus who didn't understand her hesitancy. The throne was her rightful place as the strongest of her bloodline. 

“All I've ever wanted is to be safe and happy. Fighting some war while starting a family won't give me that.”

“You can't deny that you want this. Little Bonnie Bennett probably dreamed of starting her own family back when you were a young girl.”

“I thought I was normal then,” breathed Bonnie with a shrug.

“You're too extraordinary to be normal. You were born to be a queen.” Klaus smiled at the blood rushing to her cheeks. He made a note mentally to praise her more often. He liked the effect his compliments had on her. 

“With you as my king? What do you know about marriage?” Bonnie was sick of feeling confused and couldn't stop herself from asking questions.

“I know not to make the same mistakes as my father. A wife should be cherished, respected and listened to.”

“Did you treat your romantic partners like that in the past?”

“No, but I'd try for you,” Klaus whispered, reaching out a hand. 

Bonnie took his hand in hers as she accepted her destiny. “I guess we can try to make this work.”

“And inevitably we'll try for a baby too.” The door swung open.

[soshadysoquiet]

Five sucks at Math - A Headcanon

This is a personal fav of mine, not necessarily one I think is real in the show, but that I find endlessly funny for an AU and will now provide evidence for.

Sometimes it seems Reggie didn't give Five the same 'break em down' treatment as obviously as he did the others, but boy do we know Five was a frustrated child, so:

Reggie forced this lil toddler to believe his powers were equation-based, meanwhile Five had just Wanted to be in the pantry, what do you mean he needs to do numbers?

As soon as Reggie knows Five is bad at maths, he doubles down - this is why the boy has limitations on his powers that the others don't, Reggie needs to form him into the Correct way of using them.

Five is, of course, useless at maths to the point of near numerical illiteracy initially, not that he Can't learn how to do them with endless repetition and practice, but it does not come naturally, requires a lot of mental energy, and leaves Five extra exhausted and frustrated that he needs to do all this work and One just punches stuff and Two is allowed to work it out from just throwing things not calculate angles (Reggie tried, but we all know he had Zero time for Diego)

That won't stop him from being conceited and prideful: after all the others aren't even doing this kind of math and also it's a defence mechanism.

"Evidence" in the show:

Five can only do so many jumps, and they're very costly to him. The mental strain from calculating even remembered equations on the fly or accidentally slipping and jumping without thinking keeps him tied down.

His jumping is fairly predictable - Lila figures him out in no time, possibly because it was quicker and more strategic for Five to memorise a few set equations than come up with any math on the fly.

He does jump quickly - at what point do we ever see him pause to work out how to avoid being caught in a wall? He automatically jumps away from threat or being thrown (thank you Luther). That speaks to me that it's at least in part instinctual, he defo wasn't doing equations as a bub either.

The most brilliant use of powers Does come at a moment: When he jumps forward at 13, he looks to have no plan for a set destination and just channels his pent up anger and goes. When he rewinds time, he doesn't have time to write on the walls or a book (how we've seen him calculate complex mathematics before) he just needs it and he does it.

Five does not manage to come back from the Apocalypse via maths - now don't get me wrong, It's more complicated than anything I could comprehend and that's very validly the show's reason why. But in the books he Does make it - this Five is bad at math, and he spent horrible years in the apocalypse trying to calculate something he couldn't whilst he was starving and not understanding it.

Why was he forcing himself to find a way out by math if his powers were instinctual? Five says it himself "I told you" he hears in his head every day out there - being frivolous got him stuck, now he needs to follow the rules to get out.

When Five does work it out, he gets it wrong - makes a typo, after having that moment of inspiration. (Again, very valid for Big Complicated Math but stay on this journey with me)

We see him rewind time once, did he stop after this because his abusive childhood training taught him 'shit now I need to work out the numbers before I can do that again don't fuck it up'

Five doing math looks absolutely chaotic (again, many, many reasons for this obvs but lets look at this one) his probability walls produce names out of thin air - where'd you get the names from Five? The phone book? Did the numbers spell that out for you after you'd stared at them long enough? Did you pick some arbitrary people living in the city and work backwards? Complex math yes, but also a brain not wired to do them struggling so desperately to make the numbers make sense. They're meant to make sense. They have to make sense. I wouldn't be in this mess if I had made them make sense the first time-

Five has some little tricks with his powers - swapping a gun with a stapler. That we see him use all of once despite how much of a power move that could be (Viktor's violin? Here's the baguette Klaus was eating) I like to think of this as he found this power instinctually, showed Reginald who Ruined It With Math, and again learned one single practical combat equation that was drilled into him and it was so heinous that he never wanted to play around with more.

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4.... Five has a doctorate of philosophy on his wall, not a doctorate for math. Powers gone? Awful. No more math? Guess there's the silver lining everyone always talks about.

Anyway, this is just a fun uno reverse that I wanted to write a story about but could never find the full picture for, so here it is.

I liked the idea of in a world with the apocalypse diverted his siblings start to notice Five's struggles with math and gently start helping to re wire that part of his brain that Five didn't have the experience to notice was all Reggie's bullshit.

[bleucaesura]

STOLITZØ - SEVENTY

The following morning, Blitzø sat on the couch wrapped in a big fluffy blanket. He watched as Stolas shuffled over in his robe and bunny slippers, with two mugs of coffee.

Blitzø unwrapped half the blanket and pat the cushion beside him. Stolas smiled warmly, handed Blitzø his mug and cozied up next to him. Blitzø draped the blanket around Stolas’s shoulders once he had settled.

Stolas grabbed the tv remote and started flipping through channels. Blitzø looked over at him lovingly. When Blitzø went to have a sip of coffee, he realized it was iced. He looked down at the cold drink in his mug, tears welling up unbidden.

F*cking birdbrain…

“Darling?” Stolas looked over at Blitzø. “Goodness! What’s the matter?!” Stolas clambered to get out of the blanket so he could turn to face Blitzø.

Blitzø calmly put his mug on the coffee table. He climbed on the couch and knelt in front of Stolas, putting the owl’s face between his palms and smooshing his cheeks until they fluffed in that adorable way Blitzø loved.

Blitzø smiled happily and gave Stolas a quick light kiss.

“Darling?” Stolas blushed.

“Thank you for seeing me,” Blitzø grinned happily through tears.

Stolas sniffled, tears springing up; he threw his arms around Blitzø and they fell back on the couch laughing, tangled in each other’s limbs, tails and the blanket.

The TV buzzed in the background.

“666 NEWS”

“I’m Katie Killjoy”

“And I’m Tom Trench”

“Ha. Ha. No one f*cking cares who you are, Tom!”

“On our show today we have a very special guest! That’s right! The big guy who put the big ‘O’ in Ozzie’s. The sexiest sin himself. The lustful leader, Asmodeus is in the studio with some scintillating updates on a new product to hit shelves later this month!”

The audience erupted in applause.

Blitzø and Stolas looked over at the TV.

“Welcome your majesty!” Katie clapped enthusiastically as she slid down the news desk to make room for Asmodeus, hip-checking Tom off his chair on her way over.

“Thank you, Katie.” Asmodeus leaned in front of and across Katie and extended a hand to Tom as he was pulling himself back up into his chair. “And great to see you, Tom! We still on for Friday?”

Katie was NOT impressed.

Blitzø had started drinking his coffee and almost shot it out his nose onto Stolas. He started to choke. Stolas thumped his back trying to help him breathe through his choking laughter.

They missed Katie’s next comment through Blitzø’s coughing and laughter.

“Thanks for having me this morning.” Asmodeus smiled his celebrity smile. “If I could be indulged a moment?”

The audience clapped.

“Before I get down to the… Nitty gritty,” Asmodeus winked at the camera and purred in a deep gravely voice. “There’s something more personal I’d like to touch on first.”

The camera focused on him completely.

“As many, if not all, of you know, Fizzarolli and I have gone public with our long term romantic relationship.”

The audience erupted with cheers and applause. Asmodeus smiled unabashedly and waited for the applause to die down.

“And while I embody the sin of Lust… I DO love Fizzarolli. Yes he and I are in a loving and monogamous relationship... Being in love doesn’t mean the lust disappears. I say it makes it deeper, and even more… Pleasurable.”

The sex absolutely oooooozed off of his words. The audience was rapt. Blitzø and Stolas looked at each other, blushing.

“But I digress.” Asmodeus chuckled, breaking the spell. “I’m here to say: I AM a hypocrite.”

The studio filled with gasps, whispers and confused chatter.

Katie, desperate to get back in frame, slid her face along the news desk until she was at Asmodeus’s elbow. “And why do you say THAT, your Highness?”

Asmodeus casually pushed Katie’s face out of frame and continued, unfazed.

“I embarrassed a fellow Royal, and friend, at my club when I called out his relationship with an imp. I was wrong to do so. Not JUST because I hurt a friend.” Asmodeus’s demon flames grew. “But because I don’t AT ALL believe in this elitist BULLSH*T division of classes.” The lights all but went out in the studio as Asmodeus’s flames erupted.

A second later, it was as if a switch had been flipped and Asmodeus was back to his charismatic, charming self.

“So! Prince Stolas? Blitzø?… Owner of ‘I.M.P.’” Asmodeus winked and said conspiratorially behind a hand to the camera.

“I’m truly sorry. And my blessings to you both!”

The studio was silent for mere seconds before the audience erupted in applause and chaotic conversations.

“What…”

“The…”

“Actual…”

“F*CK!”

Blitzø and Stolas traded expletives while starring unblinking and agape at the tv.

“Now!” Asmodeus rubbed his hands together, excitedly. “Who wants to hear about my revolutionary new vibrator coming out next month?!”

Tom raised his hand and nodded enthusiastically.

Katie stomped off set screaming into a phone.

Blitzø turned off the tv.

“Did that just f*cking happen? Or was I f*cking hallucinating again?” Blitzø stared wide-eyed at the screen.

“It happened,” Stolas said just above a whisper.

They looked at each other.

Blitzø threw himself at Stolas, burying his face in his chest feathers.

Stolas fell back, surprised. He hugged Blitzø to him.

Blitzø nuzzled Stolas and hugged him back.

“Is… Is this ok?” Stolas stammered.

“Eez comfy” Blitzø mumbled from his snuggle spot.

Stolas chuckled. He stroked Blitzø’s horns affectionately, feeling somber.

“No… I meant…” Stolas paused, unsure what to say.

“Is WHAT ok?” Blitzø looked up at him.

“That,” Stolas looked toward the tv. “All of Hell knowing…”

“F*ck yeah!”

Stolas was startled. Blitzø grinned at him. His eyes shone.

“Free f*cking I.M.P advertising from Asmodeus on the 666 News?! F*ck YES!” Blitzø pumped his fist and laughed maniacally.

Stolas stared flatly back at him. He hoped he had his best ‘What-The-Actual-F*CK’ face on.

Blitzø grinned at him and burst out laughing. He grabbed Stolas in a tight hug and nuzzled his neck.

“Stolas, you birdbrain…” Blitzø whispered. “I want the whole f*cking universe to know you’re mine.”

*****

[kwaziicatsposts]

First legitimate contribution to anything :D

OCTONAUTS HEADCANNONS!!!!

captain barnacles: claustrophobic and scared of heights due to falling into a crevis in his childhood, only really has his sister and mentor natquit (can't spell his name) as a sort of family outside of the octonauts, second oldest at around 35 (lost track abit), very protective of his crew and won't hesitate bit-h

Kwazii: fueled by anxiety and energy drinks, lil silly guy but honestly will panic if someone gets hurt, doesn't sleep enough and stress cleans everything despite having a messy room, plays harmless pranks on the others (minus barnacles), has known shellington since college, he's from North East England but his accent is a combo of geordie, cockney and pirate aspects.

Peso: is this close to just slapping the next person to get injured, will eventually force everyone to get therapy one way or another, close with dashi and kwazii because dashi is the most careful and kwazii always ends up in the med bay, somehow not the youngest at around 28, will stab you if you hurt his family.

Tweak: she and her dad would go camping in the Australian outback and she has befriended several cassowarys and emus despite the danger, will smite shellington for breaking the gups, ended up giving them AI to make them help their drivers in emergency, it worked but now the gups are alive, never interview her she will roast all whom she hates

Dashi: least chaotic, wants to love everyone and be the therapist, has a portfolio of everyone doing stupid things and uses it to cheer herself up, has a YT channel and a Twitch channel which she does live streams on, coincidentally her YT and Twitch streams end up being on the news whenever something goes wrong on the octopod, yes everyone knows this don't worry

Shellington: originally from Scotland bit moved to Sunderland/Newcastle at age 14, knows kwazii from 6th form/college since they took the same stuff, watches casual geographic to gain random animal facts, if the air is tense he WILL crack a "ducks have a spiral pènis" just to de-tense the air, that or he just rants about the most random sh-t.

(Not doing inkling sorry ;-;)

Added stuff!!!

Barnacles is Russian, specifically siberian, Kwazii is from Sunderland making his a makam, shelly (shellington) is Scottish, dashi is Canadian-american mix and from detroit, tweak is Australian, Peso is chillean (can't spell, he's from chile) or atleast from the Chilean part of the antarctic.

Barnacles is 35 ish, kwazii is around 25, shelly is 26, Peso is 28 ish, tweak is 30 and dashi is 27 ish.

Kwazii has ADHD and autism, shelly just autism, tweak ADHD and possible autism, dashi has non miraculously, barnacles has undiagnosed possible autism and peso might have both autism and ADHD or just autism he can't tell anymore.

All have phobias of something but that's a different post. Hope you enjoyed, sorry its so long and yes I gave up half way through ;-;

[pushywombat]

Keep thinking about some OCs of mine.

This is, a fic I'm thinking of writing. My intention here is to see if there's any interest, since people saying "yes write this" is very motivating to me! So if you want to read more about this I would love to hear!

We're in some kind of trans-friendly D&D style world.

Yasha is a healer, and a trans man. (We don't call it that, in this world, but I haven't figured out a good way to refer to him yet.) Priest to some kind and friendly god. Mostly stealth. He has potions to masculinise his body, self-made, and a glamour to hide his chest. He's part of an adventuring party, of course. There's a paladin, of a different, righteous and militant god, and a mage, but we don't care about them, or at least I haven't made them yet. We do care about Ronan, the thief.

Ronan is cis. He's small and lithe - even shorter than Yasha - and he can break into almost anything. When our story starts, they have been adventuring with each other, and their paladin and mage, for a few months, and both of them have been stealing glances at each other for most of that time. But while there's no prohibition on queer relationships, there's an expectation that priests like Yasha take love and sex seriously - not necessarily "only while married", but casual sex is frowned upon - and an assumption that thieves like Ronan don't. Plus there's the added complication: the adventuring party doesn't know that Yasha is trans.

The four of them are delving into some abandoned mine that's supposed to be full of monsters and treasure. Something happens - they don't *mean* to split the party, but somehow Yasha and Ronan get trapped, alone together, waiting for rescue underground. They have enough rations for a few days, but they're both worried. Conversation becomes physical comfort, and then cuddling, and eventually sex.

They eventually get out of the dungeon just fine. Their companions rescue them. They find some treasure, and start the long walk back towards civilisation. The journey takes a couple of weeks.

Now, Yasha is a truly excellent healer. He's not much good with spells - they frequently go wrong for him - but he can channel healing through his hands, and he has an excellent spiritual and magical sense of the body and how it's put together. He's just as good at this with his own body as he is with anyone else's: he can tell when he's about to get sick, well before any symptoms arise. He has a very good sense of these things.

About a week into the walk back to town, Yasha feels something catch low down in his belly. It takes him a day or so to work out what that means. After all, he's never been pregnant before. But by the time they get back to town, Yasha can feel, if he pays attention, the tiny new life inside him. Ronan's child.

(To be continued???)

[panelshowsource]

i know people get a lil over-the-top with their line-up predictions

(i feel like i have so much to say about this but don't wanna get into it bc it's not nice to make fun of people for simply being excited about stuff?? but how are you gonna hear there's an "american comedy actor" on the upcoming series and sincerely suggest it's possibly let alone likely a-list hollywood star paul rudd... i love the enthusiasm but some of y'all gotta come back down to earth that's all i'm saying 😩)

but is it too much to ask for graham to just be on new year treat? 🥺 PLEASE? 🥺

omg so cute 💕 there are some people i just KNOW you guys are gonna go crazy for or fall in love with once you see them on something, she was like textbook tumblr crush hahaha

in case you didn't know she's one of the only co-writers of guy mont spelling bee so check that series out if you love her humour!! she is also on s01e01 of the nz ver :)

btw you didn't fall in love w her as hard as robbie did hehehe he is fan goals 🤭

sorry i am late to this ask — did you mean the last one laughing uk version? YES so excited especially because he's co-hosting with roisin and i love how funny he finds her! people have their predictions and i am gonna put it out there for a second time that i think joe lycett and judi love are underrated horses in this race. i know judi loves a laugh BUT she can hold her character with the best of them...👀

we need more new shows!!! i miss everyone ;;

THE REST IS ENTERTAINMENT OF COURSE!!!

wow i'd never heard of this channel (sorry i really don't know youtubers — but i'd like to! i keep saying i want to get into the history and zoology sectors of youtube essays (pls send if you have any you love lol)) but i'm glad to see the pod being used as a legitimate point of research!

bc casual listeners may not realise that when marina & richard address topics and answer audience questions, they're going to specialists in the industry — actors, writers, producers, showrunners, journalists, investors — and getting their input before coming on the pod for discussions. that's a major part of what gives the podcast the depth and authority we find so fascinating!

but was he wrong!! lmao he's so quick

ooo thanks i appreciate it! i listened to the sue perkins and nish kumar episodes and they were really fun — especially because i love goss and little personal life easter eggs. if you have a fave episode lmk!!

i can't say the format of the show blows my mind, but i do think with the right guests it can be fun — and elis is def one of my faves (he's such an underrated yapper)!! i loved alex, ivo, rose, sam as well. i do worry the show won't be worth a full episode listen with the wrong guest or chemistry, but for now i'm staying tuned in! i'll try to post some clips from it too

—

PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS / NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[calissarowan]

Thoughts on Fairy Ogron?

Ooh…now, and feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m going to go ahead and guess that this question was brought on by @1v31182m5’s incredible art and au, right? I keep meaning to reblog that; it’s just the coolest thing ever! In fact, I did while writing this.

So…if we’re talking about that au? I love it. Especially her art to demonstrate it. I saw it in the Discord server, asked, ‘Is there context?’ and almost shrieked with joy when she said yes, it’s an au. I love a good au. The idea of Ogron being made into a fairy is amazing, and I gotta say, slightly disturbing in a way, because I suppose it would be changing his very magical essence without his choice, which just makes it hit all the harder! I love angst, don’t judge me. If he’s a fairy, then I suppose he’d in all likelihood have to start using light magic, as dark magic is seldom compatible with fairies, at least according to the show, but this is an au, so I’m happy to be corrected! I’m quite sure he’d struggle with that, plus, he’d be in serious distress, and so positive emotions might not even be attainable. Which would basically render him powerless, other than his wings, which, having been talking in the Discord server, he would apparently not want to use, at least to start with, which I’m totally on board with. A guy that devoted his life to taking out every Earth fairy, suddenly using their method of transportation? Yeah, no, least of all with a guy as stubborn as Ogron. I love him, but we all know he’d sooner walk across the Sun than be wrong or do something he didn’t want to. But I adore this au, am actively praying that Mary posts more about it because I need this in my life. (Seriously praying.)

Moving on, because you got me going and I will ramble until the cows have come home so many times that now it’s their kids coming and going, if we’re just talking about Ogron just…being born a fairy, I guess? That would be crazy complicated, because then he’d be hunting his own people. I’ve seen a fair few fics where that’s more or less the case, at least two where he’s actually Morgana’s son, which I liked, but it felt complex. But Morgana’s kids never make sense. But I can see him being born a fairy, and I think Ogron’s emotional state has perhaps always lent itself more towards dark magic, which a fairy would never perform, so maybe he would have wanted to become a wizard, which nobody was okay with, so he had to stay a fairy, with magic that he knew didn’t suit him, and, getting into it now and just rambling like it’s a backstory, he grew to hate his wings, because they were keeping him tethered to the light magic he struggled so hard to wield, and as he felt more and more alienated, the more negative his emotions became, so his choice was either to use dark magic and use his emotions, or to watch his magic dry to a trickle and die out. So, since nobody would let him change, he figured out a way to remove his wings himself, and became a wizard the hard way. The White Circles channelled fairy powers, so it’d make sense they could take someone’s wings and let them change their magic, so he asked Morgana to do it, but when she refused, feeling trapped, he took a White Circle and did it himself. His dark magic was so wild and untrained that the spell twisted the Circle, corrupting it, but it worked, and he managed to strip himself of his wings. Of course, Tir Na N’og would have been very, very angry about what he’d done, so he probably had to go into hiding, but with years of repressed negative emotions finally able to surge to the surface, he was damn hard to stop. Eventually, he started being able to steal the wings of others, seeing it as just after they decided what magic he could or couldn’t use. He was sick of living his life in fear of them, of making choices based on what they told him, so the fairy hunt came about. Also, in this idea, I think he’d have two long scars down his back, because he really did just tear his wings out with that spell, it wasn’t perfected, and he always keeps them covered up, because he hates being reminded of what he was. Please note that this is not my new backstory for Ogron, but I do like it, a lot, and I might use it in a fic where Yllidith really doesn’t fit in.

And finally, getting a mention is if Ogron became a fairy by his own free will. Not a lot in my head here, but I’m covering all the bases. Au, angsty past, and this. Ogron might at some point reform, and as his emotions became more and more positive, dark magic might become harder, or perhaps even feel like a trigger for past trauma, so he’d choose to avoid it, and maybe at some point, it just feels hard using his wizard magic, so he decides to become a fairy. I think people would think it was strange, and the Earth fairies would have mixed feelings, because why should he be allowed to bear wings, after what he did to them, but also, if he’s got wings, he’s not coming after theirs, right, so it’s probably fine… I think he’d be pretty nervous about having wings, since he knows how vulnerable they are, and at some point, for karmic reasons, I’m pretty sure he gets a broken wing, just so he knows how it feels. I’m sorry, I’m being mean, but the angst is just too good to pass up. He’ll be fine, don’t worry!

Thank you for the awesome ask! I honestly got a bit nervous about coming up with stuff to say, but rambling saved me again! I’m actually so in love with the fairy Ogron backstory I just made up…I may have to use that somewhere. As always, feel free to send in asks; I love them! And, since my little backstory spoke to me so much…here!

Have a picture of fairy Ogron! I love his wings so much…I originally thought purple and grey, but something about the sort of sunrise colours actually works so well. Not that he wouldn’t change their colour if he got the chance. He would. He tried. The best he can do is dress as goth as possible. I figure his fairy powers would be much the same as his wizard abilities, i.e. absorbing magic, but he can’t easily summon his powers using light magic, so it’s weak.

[eighthdoctor]

Star for the directors cut ask thingy!!

Thank you for the ask, I am very sorry for the MASSIVE ESSAY you got in return for a fic I do not think you have read in a fandom I am sure you're not in.

AN ENTIRE WEEK TO ANSWER because I overthought it and then got distracted.

What a fucking mood.

Anyway, this chunk from the very first chapter of The Power to Manipulate Belief, because I'm doing really a million things here and not all of them are obvious.

Matters spiral rapidly. Sylvanas jumps tree to tree a second ahead of a frostbolt, puts three arrows in the air at once and doesn’t look to see where they land, and finishes by blurring into mist to gain an extra ten feet of space. It’s almost enough. It’s not enough. Proudmoore is Blinking forward at a speed Sylvanas has never seen from her, moving recklessly through the forest—she must be guessing at where to land, it’s sheer luck that she hasn’t collided with a tree—and the moment she gets close enough, she hauls open a portal right in front of the tree Sylvanas is diving to. Shifting back that fast hurts, it’s a pound she’ll take out of Proudmoore’s flesh later, but she manages to avoid falling through the portal to the Alliance camp. Corporeal again, she sends another three arrows at Proudmoore, turns, jumps and grabs for a tree branch, and turns again to face Proudmoore. She just needs a second’s pause to draw in enough breath to Wail, and then they’ll both learn what a Banshee can do to an archmage. Unfortunately, Proudmoore has Blinked again, and this time she’s misjudged her destination. She collides with Sylvanas, knocking them both from the tree. Sylvanas can’t quite manage the shift back to mist that fast, but she can turn and roll as they’re falling, putting Proudmoore beneath her. That’s when Proudmoore opens a portal in the fucking ground, and all of Sylvanas’s efforts go to nothing. She can’t get out of range of the portal; she can’t throw Proudmoore away from it either, for whatever good that will do. For a moment, as they’re falling, she sees Alleria’s camp and curses Proudmoore’s quick thinking—yes, the ren’dorei would be the best suited to capture her, assuming that Alleria didn’t finish the job first—but then the portal flickers—flickers?—and then it’s too late.

It’s the worst portal Jaina has ever been through. Something went wrong from the moment she set it up, and then more wrong when they went into it. She can recite fourteen lectures on not using portals without adequate preparation to make sure you will actually turn up where—and how—you intend to, but until now it’s simply not been a problem for her. When in doubt, focus harder, and her portals do exactly what she wants them to. This one isn’t. They don’t come out at Alleria’s camp. For an agonizingly long time, they don’t come out anywhere, and it’s only the timeless nature of wherever they are—a darkness and nothing so complete it might be, but isn’t, the Void—that presumably keeps Sylvanas from throttling her. As it is, Sylvanas’s grip is painfully tight on her elbow and she’s going to have to figure out what to do with the Warchief now that she’s got her. The initial plan was to isolate her long enough to let other forces find them and eventually wear Sylvanas down; then she decided to throw Sylvanas at the reserves and capture her that way. The void elves were a gamble—Jaina wants Sylvanas alive as a hostage, Alleria wouldn’t hesitate—but she was running out of ideas. Now they’re somewhere else entirely. And it hurts. It’s not just Sylvanas’s grip. Something is burning at her hands and wrists, where she channels through. She’d scream if they weren’t outside of time, but the last time she felt pain like this, not just this bad but like this, was Theramore and that means something has gone horribly wrong. She wrangles power—more power—into the spell, trying to force it into compliance, even though portals never give her much trouble, she’s never had one fight her like this— They come out.

Which is like 600 words but fight me. Directors commentary under the cut.

Before I get going: Part of why this is going to be SO long, and why I chose this section in particular, is it's in the first chapter of the fic, and even the first chunk of the chapter. I knew posting this that posting a crossover with a fairly (and thankfully) unknown book series and promptly tagging it for rape was going to be a hard sell for a lot of people, so I had to establish quickly that I knew what I was doing. A lot of what I'm going to highlight in this post remained true for the entire first arc (Ch1-4) if not the whole fic, and a lot of this I wrote first and figured out the implications later.

Unlike some of my fics (Regfic in particular had five different starting points) I knew exactly where I wanted to open this one: If the plot is "I dump them on Gor together", the best mechanism for that is a portal going awry. Most likely this is a portal Jaina cast and it went wrong while pulling Sylvanas through, and there are two possible scenarios for that. Either one, Jaina has successfully captured Sylvanas (in which case, why does something go wrong with the portal?) or she is trying to catch Sylvanas.

Obviously I went with option B.

I also wanted to break the portal in a specific way, and not just have it be a fluke accident. I knew the Void elves/ren'dorei use Void portals which are metaphysically different from Jaina's arcane portals, and it is very textually clear that portals are, despite being a point-and-click spell, Extremely Easy To Fuck Up, so there I had it: One arcane portal and one Void portal to the exact same location at the exact same time, kaboom.

So that was the setup. I sat down to write it and think I banged out the better part of ch1 in a week. Then I went back for edits (memorably telling myself "add more spy v spy shit").

But let's zoom in and look at what I'm doing in this 600 word chunk specifically.

Starting with names. Sylvanas calls Jaina 'Proudmoore' exclusively; Jaina calls Sylvanas 'Sylvanas' most of the time (and Warchief once). So you get a good look on how they view each other right off the bat:

Sylvanas doesn't respect Jaina at all. As becomes clear later in the fic, Jaina is on first name terms with just about everyone she meets; she doesn't like standing on ceremony, and she has a very complex relationship with her family. So if you did want to be polite, it'd be titles and she'd try very hard to get you back to Lady Jaina which she can just about handle. And from Sylvanas it's surname only for ages.

Jaina...uh, also doesn't respect Sylvanas! Sylvanas is very concerned with being seen as the politically powerful person that she is, and she wants her titles unless the two of you are close. Which they're not. Admittedly calling her 'Windrunner' would get a little confusing given Sylvanas's sisters, but Jaina knows enough about Sylvanas to know that she's not on first name terms.

Or to sum up: Sylvanas is putting distance between herself and Jaina and Jaina is putting the two of them on the same political level. (Which they're not--Sylvanas heads one side of the war; Jaina leads a single country.)

When it came to the battle/fight scene I had to give enough to set things up, but didn't want to get bogged down in it. I thought of it like doing a camera zoom in, from the whole battlefield to this sparse little chase sequence. I think it works rather well.

Then I had to establish that they are equally deadly. Sylvanas is fleeing and in a 1v1 would lose, but she's also absolutely fighting back and making a good case for herself. Neither of them is dictating the terms of the fight, which winds up being the whole problem. (That is to say, Sylvanas would like this to be at a distance thank-you-very-much or possibly 1v10 or even 1v50, and Jaina would like Sylvanas to stop fucking moving. Neither of them can accomplish that right now.)

That’s when Proudmoore opens a portal in the fucking ground

This is one of my favorite lines in the whole fic because it tells us very concisely that Jaina just did something that a quel'dorei, who is upwards of 500 years old and from a society completely structured around arcane magic, thinks is nuts. Jaina did something that may not be impossible but is certainly insane. What the fuck girl.

The last paragraph in Sylvanas's POV tells you more or less what happened with the portal, as long as you're fluent in Warcraft lore: Alleria's camp means ren'dorei means Void casters, and portals shouldn't flicker. That shouldn't be possible.

Cue Jaina's POV, who very much agrees with that being impossible.

Jaina has a chattier POV than Sylvanas, full of little snarky asides and memories. (Sylvanas also does snarky asides but they're much more pointed and mean.) So that gave me the opportunity to remind everyone that Jaina is in the top 5 mages on the planet and a genius in her own right ("She can recite fourteen lectures on not using portals without adequate preparation to make sure you will actually turn up where—and how—you intend to, but until now it’s simply not been a problem for her").

Which of course only serves to reinforce that shit just got fucked. This should NOT have happened. Jaina does NOT approve. There is going to be so much paperwork when she gets home.

it’s only the timeless nature of wherever they are—a darkness and nothing so complete it might be, but isn’t, the Void

I'm sure that's fine. This is, roughly, the metaphysical gap between fictional universes, and it's not a great place to be.

Anyway, Jaina helpfully shares what her plan was: She wanted to capture Sylvanas, which she technically has accomplished. Jaina thinks Sylvanas is more useful (functionally) alive than (finally) dead, which is a theme I'll return to repeatedly--Jaina likes second chances, or fifth chances, as long as you're not going to be stupid about them. She believes people can change (although she's not applying that to Sylvanas here), and, more pragmatically, that killing Sylvanas would just enable the Horde to pick a new Warchief.

And then we get to the hands.

This has implicitly come up in fic but it hasn't been explicitly discussed; on the other hand I do say exactly what's happened here in this passage so you know. Director's cut now with some spoilers.

Something is burning at her hands and wrists, where she channels through. She’d scream if they weren’t outside of time, but the last time she felt pain like this, not just this bad but like this, was Theramore and that means something has gone horribly wrong. She wrangles power—more power—into the spell, trying to force it into compliance, even though portals never give her much trouble, she’s never had one fight her like this—

When the portals collided, it produced an incredible amount of extra energy, nuclear reactor level of "I banged two things together to make more energy". That had to go through something, and the path of least resistance was Jaina. Jaina's ability to funnel that amount of magical power is the only reason the two of them weren't splattered over multiple continents.

Hence the shoutout to Theramore: She has had a massive quantity of magical energy pass through her and had to wrangle it into Not Killing Her Instantly. She's done that before. This should feel familiar because it is.

tl;dr in 600 words I establish that neither of the main pairing respects the other, but they're still very much equals in the setting, and also show the plot device that's stranding them in another universe & start addressing why it can't just be Solved by someone else.

I'm very proud of this chunk.

[blazehedgehog]

I WILL CHOKE ON THESE SOUR GRAPES TIL I'M IN MY GRAVE

I left this open in another tab, meaning to watch it like a week ago. It's an official video published and promoted on the Youtube Studio dashboard, about common misconceptions around their recommendation algorithm and what the truths really are. .

And now, finally watching it, that white haired dude, Mr. "Youtube Liason", is the guy who told me the algorithm ignored one of my videos because "maybe it just wasn't very good."

Famously, and something I will never ever shut up about when given the chance to mention it, I put out a video about Jurassic Park games just before Christmas, expecting it to slot in and do decent numbers, just like all of my other videos do. Since Youtube earnings tend to spike around the holidays, this was going to be how I paid for Christmas presents that year. It was something I'd done at least twice before. Instead, the algorithm completely ignored the video because it was outside my usual wheelhouse of Sonic content.

This is shockingly relevant to the very first topic they cover: whether a single "off-topic" video actually matters with regards to how the algorithm sees your channel, and the general answer from the Youtube technician is "No." You don't gotta tell me.

When I put my full weight behind a video, it easily breaks 10k views, even 50k or 200k+ views. Some of my most popular videos have cracked the multi-millions!

So when this dude spells out in plain english that the algorithm effectively ignores one-off videos? Yeah, no shit. I'm living proof of that. Across the first two years, that Jurassic Park video struggled to break even 2000 views. Only by paying out of my own pocket for multiple promotional campaigns and constantly complaining about its lack of performance has it struggled to hit just over 5000 views, some four years later. The algorithm knew it was way outside my regular wheelhouse and treated it like poison.

And this liason clown had the balls to tell me "well maybe the video was just bad, sorry bud" only to, two years later, sit down with this technician that spells out exactly what I was knew was happening and was trying to explain to him.

Except now, of course, it's being spun as a positive: "don't worry, a one-off won't hurt your regular content" as opposed to the "we didn't notify anyone about your one-off and it became stillborn" I experienced.

I have sat down and thought very intently about this Jurassic Park video. Obviously, if I make a stink about its performance, tell people the algorithm made a poor judgment call, I'm going to get patted on the back and comforted that yes, the video is good. Don't worry. The mean old algorithm is just dumb. Right? And Youtube unflinchingly believes in the power of their algorithm as this perfect shining golden standard to drive viewership, the thing that can never, ever be wrong about guys like me.

I appreciate the comfort and support of friends and colleagues and even random strangers who are inherently distrustful of the algorithm. But I also know that feels like an echo chamber.

So then what, do I trust Youtube? Absolutely not. At the end of the day their algorithm still made an unfair judgment call and despite their claims above that any old video can get picked up by the algorithm at any time, my video has never recovered. I've tried more interesting thumbnails, I've spent almost $100 on Google Adsense promotion -- one of which, I should note, was the same week that Jurassic World 3 released, and the other being E3. Both should have been extremely lucrative times to run ads. And I got crickets.

I like the video. I stand by the fact I think I did a good job on it. I remain proud of it. It's as good as any real-effort-content I've put out in the last five years. The echo chamber tells me it's a good video, too, even if I literally can't buy views.

So my only recourse is to sit here and stew in my bitterness towards this algorithm. The shining, ultimate example as to why you should never let a computer make a qualitative judgment call. And I will be frustrated and angry about this until I draw my last breath.

[actiwitch]

In my opinion, I'd say no.

I don't think spells can BACKFIRE, persay, but I do think certainly channeling any energy in the universe should be done with caution and preferably protection magic beforehand.

Maybe your intention was muddled, and as a result the response is unclear, but that isn't BACKFIRING.

I'm also a firm believer in no single set of correspondences for ingredients. They can mean whatever you wish them to mean. You do not need a perfect set of traditionally corresponding ingredients for any spell. At its core, you just need intention. A bayleaf can mean whatever it means to YOU. And honestly I hate witches (especially on tiktok) telling others their spell with 'backfire' because they used a 'wrong' ingredient. Idk.

[prettyoddfever]

hi! there’s a poem that brendon supposedly posted in august 2008 on “dylan’s myspace” that a lot of fans call “the summer poem” and i was wondering if you could confirm if he wrote it or not. i know you touched on the fact that there were a lot of fake accounts made around that time, but this specific poem has always felt more genuine than other posts and the writing style fits his tone. i’ve always really liked it, but i was never 100% sure of its validity. thank you!

ok so I had to google this to see what the "summer poem" was and I found this tumblr post, which had this link at the bottom:

and that links to the dilloncornbreadandchicken myspace as the source of that poem, which explains everything.

So towards the end of the Honda Civic Tour (and shortly after Pete Wentz got married), one of Pete's dog Hemingway's supposed extra myspace accounts posted a bulletin that said “it would make me happy if you would add my buddy dillon. here's his myspace" and linked to the dilloncornbreadandchicken account. The fact that Dylan's name was spelled wrong and she was misgendered was a little weird. Also, Hemingway's real account didn't post anything about this. (Side note: Yes, Panic's myspace got hacked around the end of the Honda Civic Tour, so even the legit myspace accounts could occasionally do something unusual. Also can I please just complain that the hackers could have posted some highly entertaining stuff "from Adam" on Panic's myspace if they'd had any imagination. Like we all know what's going on, so why not just do something absurd for a laugh).

But the dilloncornbreadandchicken account seemed questionable on its own anyways. Keep in mind that a lot of fans were obsessed with the idea that Brendon & Shane were dating... like a lot of the Ryden enthusiasm got channeled there in 2008 because at least it still implied that Brendon was into guys.

Some random things that seemed odd to me:

Several of the pictures on that myspace were absolutely not Dylan. Similar looking dog, but definitely not her.

One of the songs that played on Dillon’s profile was “Ur So Gay” by Katy Perry.

The account said things like "yea i have 2 daddys... out of the ordinary? daddy brendon and shane both take excellent care of me.”

Many girls had convos with the “Shane and Brendon” who ran that myspace. That account was also very active with replying & commenting on other's profiles. June was still a busy month for the real Brendon, who was finishing the Honda Civic Tour (and doing a lot of publicity/media stuff) and then getting ready for Europe.

In July (while the band was still in Europe), fans asked Shane about Brendon's comment to Kerrang about how the last time he cried was when he heard that Dylan ran away for a few days. Shane explained that Dylan was living with his parents while Panic was on tour, and that she'd run away on a nearby golf course to chase rabbits for a few days. Shane also apparently seemed confused when a fan at the Astoria show told him she was friends with Dylan on myspace.

There were a ton of fake myspace & facebook accounts for everyone in PATD over the years. Some of them even managed to spell Brendon's name right. But Brendon just would not be talking to fans on myspace like that (or even be on myspace at that point period). The band had stopped doing even basic journal updates by 2008, but even in 2006 Brendon & Ryan had put a lot of distance between themselves and fans, and we heard from them less & less. The guys didn't even run their band's social media in the Fever era. This whole episode reminded me of how in late 2006 many middle school girls swore they'd been talking to Ryan on AIM and he'd shared secret lyrics with them, and I was like omg common sense please.

The person who wrote that "summer poem" sounds like a school schedule still factored into their awareness, and they're possibly trying to make a subtle connection to Brendon's old part_time_lovah livejournal account. I stopped paying attention to the dilloncornbreadandchicken myspace after seeing so many big fans similarly conclude that it was fake, so I don't remember much about the poem. I'll only say that it should be regarded with some suspicion... even just posting a poem anywhere online like that would have been very out of character for Brendon. (For context, that poem was posted while Brendon was busy being a tired, sick, sweaty mess on tour in Asia and the band was heading to Australia next).