#yes I know I post too much about her
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tbh, the more I get into roleplaying as Iona, the more I'm starting to feel like she must be getting sick of all the lying, and the secrecy, and the scheming. She's the compulsive liar that's deep down yearning for honesty, but can't bring herself to admit it even to herself just yet.
She just had what I'm pretty sure was her first actually honest conversation, as herself, with Karlach just last night- and it was so refreshing, especially compared to how the last three or so conversations with Astarion have been... not great. Kind of painful, hollow, even.
The mirror? Empty flattery. She's giving him the minor comfort he's clearly fishing for, though it's not what she'd like to be able to say- that would be stretching this fragile thread that's forming between them much too far, too fast. She could tell him all that she actually sees, but knows (or thinks she knows) that that'd just snap whatever this is, clean in half- really, the only thing she turly does mean is when she says "you're beautiful" at the end. Because, well, he is. Just... not strictly in the same way she told him.
The dream visitor? Disagreement. Disappointment. Discomfort- she's deeply bothered and unsettled, especially by being told that she shouldn't be that.... but of course she can't tell him that, because then he'd ask why, and then she would have to tell him her entire sobstory, even though 1. she'd rather bite off her own tongue and bleed to death, and 2. she's doing that stupid Suffering Olympics thing, when she thinks that she's not entitled to feel shitty and vulnerable and to crave comfort, because his suffering was greater than hers. (Honestly, why can't he just know without her needing to say it??? She has half a mind to parasite-mindlink it over like Shadowheart did, it'd make everything so much easier. And harder. And simpler, and infinitely more complicated, and actually, that'd a terrible idea and she's not going to do that.) (Maybe eventually.)
And just now, at the tiefling party, that "I love you"... it has her feeling rotten. Hurt that he thinks the very concept of this thing being more than what it is right now to be so ridiculous as to be free reign for jokes, but doing way too good of a fucking job concealing that. Because, well, what else was she expecting. This is her lot, the best she can hope for, so if he's offering an illusion she can almost ignore is immaterial, she might as well accept it, yeah?
Seriously, at this point all the girl wants is a hug, and the only person she found who she can at least somewhat confide in is the one who can't fucking hug her, no matter how willing they'd both be to offer each other that friendly comfort they clearly need.
In another life, she and Karlach would share such an excellent, soft, wholesome love. Women made of fire. (Good thing she has an infinite number of lives if I so desire!!!)
#squirrel plays bg3#yes I know I post too much about her#i'm kind of obsessed with her in case it has slipped anyone's notice#oc: iona raedir#i care deeply about my own character and can't wait for her walls to start to crumble in front of a pair of hurt red puppy eyes#but we have all of the underdark and the créche and like the whole way to moonrise to go before then#and like. maybe a third or so of act 1 still I think#though i'm kinda speeding through the combat ngl; knowing what you're doing somewhat does do that
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Kaka compilation
Because everyone is sleeping on him. Witness his greatness!! First two Kaka colored icons were colored by me, lineart by Ryoko Kui though!
Kaka & Kiki are kinda like Laios & Falin… Kaka being stoic and giving repressed energy like early Laios, Kiki being cryptic and always smiling and kinda soft-looking. Autism siblings 2, ostracized and othered as kids and have a deep bond due to sticking together through it all, though unlike with Laios their parents are very loving so Kaka developed family as a big value more than Laios (bc asides for Falin Laios doesn’t care much about it).
In the gnome festival comic you can see Kaka is more emotive than he seems! Full with a :3 face, and he’s the one crying at the end. He’s insecure about his legs and being tall… It really got to him. Conceal don’t feel. In the gnome festival comic you also see him sensing others’ gaze on him and that something is off unlike Kiki, again Laios-like in the way that judgement from others gets to him more than her.
#The twins are so autistic swag#A falin just as chilled out and smiling and a laios who never stopped repressing#They’re so neurodivergent and they’re allowed to just exist I love you Kui. Kaka is just literally me#I looove characters that are hard to know and hard to read/easily misunderstood. They’re my favorite thing#LOOK AT THE WAY HE SMILES THE WAY HE BLUSHESSS HE’S PERFECT and I would take a harpoon to the chest for him thank u#I do love Kiki too btw but I’ve been seeing her in fancontent and posts way more than Kaka so I had to give him some spotlight#But also Laios is my fave of the Toudens so this very much checks out#Their pre-Flokes story would be interesting to analyze too#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kaka floke#Kaka#Kiki and kaka#floke twins#As you may guess from my new-ish icon I am in my kaka era#ALSO I SWEAR TO GOD STOP BEING MEAN ABOUT HIS NAME#KA IS A SYLLABLE IN MY IRL NAME. YES I WAS BULLIED AND CALLED KAKA AS A KID. MY NAME ALSO MEANS UGLY STUFF IN A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE#KAKA’S A PRETTY NAME I’LL DIE ON THIS HILL. IT’S NOT WEIRD IF YOU DON’T MAKE IT WEIRD#Oh also another laios falin parallel: they both sort-of-date the same woman
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You know sometimes it just hits you that so much of queer "discourse" is basically one group of queer people trying to cultivate a subcommunity for themselves and their identity while another group of queer people cry and scream about how that group, who is just trying to exist and have their own bubble, is the cause of all their own group's problems
#Jean mumbles#This is about asexuals and pansexuals and bisexuals and mspec lesbians and aspec lesbians and mspec and aspec in genera#It's about neopronouns and xenogenders and trans men and transneutrals and trans women and nonbinary people#And multigender people and genderqueer people and he/him lesbians and she/her gays and intersex people and so on and so on#And yes. It's about kinksters too. Because kink belongs in the queer community too.#You know what this isn't about. I am on my knees begging you to not say the most blatant “EXCEPT FOR [redacted]”#Because we know. We fucking know. Those people aren't welcome here. Stop making every queer inclusion post about those people#They aren't part of the community and they never will be so cut it oooouuuutttttt#Anyway. Yeah. So much queer discourse is basically ''you exist in a way that challenges my preconceived notion of queerness-#- and that makes me very uncomfortable and upset so. Kill yourself?? Please? :pleading_face:" and people think they're somehow morally righ#For doing this. Like actually grow up. Actually grow the fuck up before you pipe up.
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What did/do you like about Pharah?
Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.
Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).
But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.
There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.
Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.
#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw#the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor#the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy#i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different#gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential#i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but#i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes “ahh you're like my knight in shining armor!”#and pharah goes “that's what i'm goin for ;)” and i sigh dreamily#really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr#to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy#last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other#tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass#but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever#that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum#ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot#because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting#ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours#i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story#it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have#mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic#but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF#ask me#anon
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How can you praise Andor for its nuance in its portrayal of Imperials and the Rebellion, but can’t accept any nuance when it comes to the Jedi, the Sith, and the Force. George Lucas, the literal creator of Star Wars, was the one to introduce the idea that the Jedi weren’t perfect and made many mistakes, and he helped his apprentice Dave Filoni showcase this even more in The Clone Wars, and then Dave continued to expand on George’s own ideas about the force in Rebels and his later projects.
So don’t be mad at Dave Filoni or Leslye Headland that the Jedi aren’t perfect, be mad at the literal creator of this franchise. Also, no project has ever made the case “The Jedi are just as bad as the Sith”. The Sith are very noticeably worse than the Jedi, always.
#the acolyte#star wars#yes this is a sub post directed at an anti acolyte post i saw#but also i see fans do this sooo much with filoni too#like i just think the guy who was the apprentice of george lucas and had intensive discussions with him about the force the jedi the NR etc#probably knows more about the universe than any of us online#leslye was also a huge prequels and clone wars fan and we already saw her make a parallel between ahsoka and osha in ep 1#idk maybe yall just need to pay attention more. develop some media literacy#some people need to use their brain more to think about what tf you’re watching and the meaning behind it
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Shoutout to this draft I made a couple hours ago when I suddenly had an epiphany for how I could fix a part of my story and I was so excited that the only way I could express it is to write whatever this is but I couldn’t post it because I didn’t have internet
also it got marked as mature for some reason
#mood honestly#OHHH OHH. WA#there is pure happiness behind those words#I don’t know if I’ll keep the idea that I came up with but it’s so much better than what I had before#ties up loose ends while also keeping it vague like I wanted mmmm#and the ending isn’t super depressing now!!! sort of!!!#it is Not final so I won’t yap about it just yet but#I think I might be able to give gourdie a somewhat happy ending….that is all I wanted…..yes…..#cause like damn at first she was just miserable by the end with no happiness in sight. which didn’t really match the rest of the story#cause it’s more so lighthearted even when there’s like. death and stuff#like. bad shit happens but it’s not an emotionally charged angsty story#if people do find it sad despite the jokey tone then all the better because that means I can have my cake and eat it too#but my point is simply that Gourdie’s ending did NOT match up with anything else#she was just left completely depressed by the end#BUT I CAN FIX IT. I THINK. STILL WORKINH IT OUT IN MY MIND#TRYING TO MAKE SURE IT WOULDNT RETCON ANYTHING PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED#perhaps it makes the ending a bit less impactful but who tf thinks I’m going for impact!!!#gourdie gets to mysteriously disappear too. as a treat.#and it also plugs that plot hole…yes….good…..#I’m just rambling at this point hey guys how ya doin#pdbc#not a pikmin post#more pdbc posts are coming cause I spent like 4 hours today writing#by that I mean like. 4 hours of just trying to fix the ending. but I kinda did it soooo#point is I rarely have scripts for certain sections and I now have a script for a sliver of a section so that’s a win#this is a huge wall of text uhhhh#I’ve been yapping about pdbc an unhealthy amount lately and I’ll never stop#my friend wants to know the lore as well so I’ll have to find a way to explain it all to her#< it’ll be easier for her to understand actually cause of reasons#anyway I’ll shut up now bye bye
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“white mourning.”
#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice#judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry#he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as#he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco#you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen#his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but#jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control#i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late#my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon#disco elysium#de fanart#jean vicquemare#disco elysium fanart#jean heron vicquemare#jean posting#illustration#de#artists on tumblr#I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings#my little maiu maiu#cryptiduni#my art
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imagine you're luce, and you're born the heir to a mafia family. you're mafia-born, and so of course also mafia-raised, and then also a donna-to-be. you're raised to be able to take on the role, to be good and capable at it, are taught to make one of your core beliefs about how the many must come before the few, because the family must always come first. you're going to be the donna, of course you must always prioritize the family above all else, it's your foremost and most important duty.
if caring about the few too comes at the price of the many, comes at the price of the family, is it even worth it? if the happiness gained from it comes at the price of a greater suffering for others, is there even any meaning to it, even if it's your happiness we're talking about? you understand, don't you?
you're not sure if you do, but you care about your family, love it, want to do right by it once you become their donna, so you nod, listen and learn.
(you don't have to be taught the pain and loss and guilt and anger and bitterness is a fair price to pay for the pain you decide has to be inflicted and the sacrifices you decide must be made, including by yourself. it's the least you could do, even.)
imagine you're luce, and the gift of foresight runs through your blood.
you would not call it a gift. you did not ask for it either. and you'll never come to see it as something wanted by you.
you can see the future, and it happened exactly as you saw it would, so of course it's exactly the way you wanted it to go. you can see the future, and it happened exactly as you saw it would, so of course you didn't care to try hard enough to change it. you saw the future before the shape of it had yet to be breathed into existence, and who's to say it didn't come into existence only because you saw it happen? you saw the future, and it happened worse than it had to for it.
you can see the future, but you still can't make it anything else than what it was always going to be. you can even make the visions happen at your will, but you still have no say on what you see or how much you see. you still can only be the witness of it before anyone else can.
it does mean double and longer the happiness sometimes, means relief and gratefulness and hope beyond words, and it'd be cruel of you to voice out loud your feelings for others to hear the many more times it means something else.
you can see the future, and it doesn't make it any kinder on you than on anyone else, does not give you any more power or control over it than anyone else, but at least you can see the future. you're given the time to make peace with it, to brace yourself for it, to bargain with it, to plead and beg and fight against it however desperately and hopelessly, even if in the end it still happens exactly as you saw it would.
(you can see the future, and it still doesn't hurt you any less than anyone else when it happens, but you don't expect anymore for anyone to hold you any less responsible for it anyway. it would be nice for someone to do it one day, but you understand.)
you can see the future, and you decide it's a kindness to both yourself and others to keep it for yourself as much as possible whenever you can.
imagine you're luce, and your family has this set of rings they've looked after and protected for as long as your family has existed. they're one set of three of the most important artifacts in the world, ones that help in safeguarding its existence and balance. they're duty, the very first one and the most important one your family was created for.
the pacifier around your mother's neck is duty too, and the most important and powerful artifact among twenty-one in safeguarding the world and its balance. it's been passed down in your family too, from mother to daughter. it's duty, but less tied to your family and much more to the blood running through your veins. it's a curse, in fact, as it demands heavy sacrifices the rings don't, and one that can only be tied to the blood running through your veins.
(your mother looks at you as if expecting some kind of reaction from you, and you can only wonder at which point you weren't supposed to see it as a given. duty and sacrifices have been one and the same for you for a long time now. is it even duty if it doesn't require any sacrifices from you?)
imagine you're luce, and your mother dies for duty. she's the donna, and so she dies for your family. she's the sky arcobaleno, and so she dies for the world. she's your mother, but she dies anyway, doesn't fight it either, even knowing she will leave you behind, even knowing she won't ever get to see what you look like all grown-up.
everywhere you look, duty stares back at you, from your mother and the pacifier around her neck, her love for your family and the life she gives up for it, her love for you and how she dies anyway while you're still only a child. duty, from your family members and how they die for you and kill for you, how they do both at your command, how their lives are in the palms of your hands and how they weigh only as much as you allow them to at a time. duty, from the knowledge your foresight gives you and the shackles tied to the blood running through your veins.
your mother's only duty while she lives too. she loves you, but she'd have had to give birth to you anyway even if she didn't. she loves you, but she still gave birth to you even knowing the kind of life you'd have to live, the kind of hands you'd inevitably end up with, the burdens she'd have to lay on your shoulders, passing them down from her own. because she loves you, she finds the resolve to raise you to be able to face all of it head-on and come out on top, but she'd have had to raise you much the same way anyway even if she didn't.
(she doesn't die for you, doesn't fight to be able to keep living with you, and this, too, is your mother surrendering to duty one last time.)
(you're so sick of it, so angry at it, so hateful and resentful against it. you're so stifled by it to the point you've stopped being able to breathe for a long time now. or you would have been if they had taught you how to face duty in this way too.
it's for the better they didn't. a silver lining, sparing you pain that isn't necessary for you to go through. everyone you turn to only teaches you how to keep holding your breath longer, and you listen and learn, obedient and dutiful as you've ever been.
you're grateful for it too. really, you are.)
everywhere you look, there's no room for you to so much as question any of it, let alone anything more. duty is commendable, something you ought to look up to and strive towards, strive to achieve. duty is the right thing to do. of course it is.
(you exhale a breath of relief that shakes you down to your very core.
thank god, it's at least the right thing to do.
you're grateful for it beyond words. really, you are.)
imagine you're luce, and before it even happens, you know the choice you'll make when climbing that mountain, when standing on top of it, when waiting for a bright light to shine down on you from above. you know the choice you'll make then, even when pregnant with your daughter.
it doesn't matter since how long you knew, be it years, months, days, hours or minutes before. all that matters is that before you can even contemplate the idea of making another choice and all its implications and possible consequences, before the thought can even come alive in your mind, you already know the choice you'll make.
(you can see the future, but just because you already saw it, it doesn't mean it's now set in stone.
you can see the future, but just because you're given the chance to fight to change it, it doesn't mean it still won't happen every bit like you saw it.
it doesn't mean it can't still happen even worse than how you first saw it happen because you fought to change it, no matter how already dreadful it originally was.)
imagine you're luce, and before it even happens, you know they'll be others with you standing on top of that mountain. you're the only one who'll know it before it happens.
(because you can see the future.
and oh, you did not ask for it.)
they're strangers, people you don't owe anything to. adults who choose to show up at the first meeting, and to show up to every following mission after that. the chosen seven, whose ambitions and prides lead them to walk the path of the seven strongest too once laid down in front of them.
you don't force their hands in making any of those choices for them. you're not responsible for any of them.
you become coworkers then, accomplices, your hands stained in blood to various extent, but now dipping in the same pool of blood as you strive towards the same goal together. you have each other's backs, learn each other's strengths and weaknesses, learn each other's personalities, likes and dislikes. you keep having to spend more time together as the missions keep coming your way.
inevitably, you come to care about them. even more damning, they come to care about you in return. enough so they'll look after your daughter even after what'll happen on top of that mountain. enough so they'll look after your granddaughter too, warmly and fondly enough she'll call one of them uncle.
you're still the only one who knows they'll stand together with you on top of that mountain, not knowing what'll happen on it like you do.
and you do care about them, you swear you do. really, you do.
(you care about them the same way your mother cared about you, and how she still raised you to have steel in you and be made of sharp edges you know how to use. you care about them the same way you care about your family, and how you still send them to their deaths as needed so the rest of your family you care about just the same can keep on living longer and safely. this is the only way you've had the chance to learn how to care and love.
duty and sacrifices have been one and the same for you for as long as you can remember. it doesn't matter at which point sacrifices came to mean love to you too.
and most of all, you love your daughter more than anything else in the world.)
imagine you're luce, and this is who you are. this is who you've been raised to be, the only way you've been given room to grow up to be. this is the life you've lived and the kind of life that has shaped you as the person you are now. this is what you've been taught and told is the best version of yourself you could have grown up to be. this is who you ended up being by what you've been taught and told are all the right choices to make.
you're still the only one who knows what is about to happen on top of that mountain. it hasn't happened yet. the fate of the world hangs on what'll happen on top of that mountain, the same world you'll have to give birth to your daughter in. the same daughter you're currently pregnant with.
now imagine you're luce, look me in the eye and tell me you'd know how to even form the thought of the possibility of there being any other choice to make. look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't look at the only choice in front of you, and know deep in your bones it's the only right choice to make. that it is right of you to make it. because it simply has to be.
(imagine you're luce, and you're not doomed by the narrative. of course, you're not.
why would you need to be when the narrative has painstakingly shaped you all your life to become its perfect, faithful and dutiful sacrificial lamb?
and then, imagine you're luce, and you're even grateful for it, so, so very grateful it held up its end of the bargain too.
truly, you are.)
#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#khr meta#khr headcanons#khr luce#khr arcobaleno#arcobaleno curse#sky arcobaleno#this post is first and foremost for the luce stans girlies#so maybe like. the whole five of us tops 😌#everyone else is also welcome to interact with this post but yes i am a luce stan who's very pro she didn't ever do anything wrong ever#and i know that and i love her for it <3#but also this is not a 'this is why you should love luce too actually' post#or even a 'this is why you should forgive her for the choices she made actually' post#like i totally get how and why one can dislike/hate her. genuinely#but this is a 'you totally lose me if you then follow up by saying she still doesn't deserve understanding or compassion or sympathy or#even pity' post#i mean come on. she WAS standing on top of that mountain too. she bore the curse just the same as them. was as much a victim of it as the#rest of them. in fact the sky arco curse is arguably the WORST of them all so like. yeah#the sky arco but luce specifically to me is such a tragic character is what this post is about#definitely not enough for her to be considered as doomed by the narrative but like#the narrative was in need of (seven) someone to take one for the team and tho it did choose luce without asking for her opinion about it#/she/ then decided that the best course of action was for her to /let/ herself become perfect for the job and like???#i just love thinking about the implications of it and how she might have ended up with that kind of mentality#my girl has never been okay a day in her life and i also will never be normal about it <3#also i might also post this one on ao3 in the following days so it can reach like. maybe a whole two more luce stan girlies 😌
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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.
#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written#(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into#the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he#is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we don’t need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need#to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now they’re Colleagues. putting the ‘because i can’ moment#into a WHOLE different light bc it’s very much a ‘you no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because it’s not YOU. because we’re not’#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we can’t talk about that right now I see it but that’s not what we’re here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the ‘I know u#best of anyone’ of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second#I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby you’re so old and rotting I can just#get a new chariot driver I don’t even really want you anyway 😇 and scorpus KNOWS It’s bait however. he’s gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and it’s very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders#in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back#together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ‘divorced and arguing but it’s foreplay to threaten to#leave each other’ so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts#to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared they’re gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking#Tenax’s throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and that’s all they see#before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments it’s so fun I love the dynamic#OHHHH AND IT’S AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of#everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then y’know. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we can’t talk abt#that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them#where she’s just like ‘freaks. right in front of my salad?’ and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian#(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything he’d want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk#because I don’t have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#scorpus#tenax
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Armand's simpering little "and I never have" has taken on new dimensions for me. Technicality king and also I think very in keeping with his whole malign fairy creature deal. You can tell him not to hurt the bae, but you should really specify what "hurt" entails. Is chopping someone's hands off really hurting them? If they have annoyed you very much I mean.
-questions Armand might pose to Lestat that inspire him to leave the country
#I do think the root of what makes Lesmad so funny is that it is literally the one of two times Lestat has displayed good sense in love#both times his mother was standing right there telling him what to do so take from that what you will#but lestat does enjoy negative attention and fucking around to find out and needling powerful entities who are enamored with him#it takes so much for him to say yes you're hot. but still no#you are too good at fucking will my head and too willing to take liberties with my body i don't like this#though iirc part of it was having experienced Armand's mind whammy he didn't want to leave him in proximity to Gabrielle#once again mommy issues carry the day#anyway#press says iwtv#I have a post percolating in my heart about the reversal of Gabby telling Lestat she just wants to die knowing he's safe in Paris with his#boyfriend#explicitly severing their codependent you're my other half my twin me but a man thing#and Gabby telling him to leave Nicki with Armand and run#but it's actually half a post that amounts to a) this too is a perversion brought on by living past your own death and#b) actually though it's her being a good mom in both instances#like probably the two times she most clearly manages that are#leave this place and me and live your own best life without guilt or shame#and leave your boyfriend who has had a psychotic break and hates you now. do not involve yourself with the sewer creature who is violently#obsessed with you.#she packed up her kid and she left! also did some other things but we don't need to talk about that#cw: incest#interview with the vampire
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milva and cahir: i will BOLDLY die PROTECTING YOU!!! MY BROTHERS!!! MY BELOVED!!!
angoulême and regis: whoops uhhhhhh ok blood is everywhere now LOL ok that’s a lot of blood! oh no
#cause of death too little blood. cause of death too much blood#‘but regis died boldly protecting…’ yes but he didn’t intend to die. he pounced on vilgefortz and was about to maul him with his teeth#milva also didn’t intend to die but she was in her right mind at least when she performed a feat of heroism#cahir i think just went into that knowing he was going to die because there’s no way he thought he would win#im basing this on the ‘angouleme i admit dies stupidly’ quote from sapkowski#because i would also say that regis ‘dies stupidly’ as in he was being stupid#might fuck around . give into my worst vice which has haunted me for centuries . and do this at the worst possible time#anyways this is a joke post im not drawing hard lines between them#the elbow-high diaries#lady of the lake spoilers#the witcher spoilers
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Does anyone else feel like the incinerator gun chair room from Zero Time Dilemma would have better fit C Team instead of D Team
#elaboration in the tags#zero time dilemma#zero escape#ztd#I think of this every time I watch a playthrough and get to that room#carlos ztd#akane kurashiki#junpei tenmyouji#c team#like just about any combination fits with the potential character growth both Akane and Junpei would have from it#I understand the main character is Carlos so if we were to keep it as him making the decision then I would have Akane in the incinerator#and Junpei in the chair#but if we’re going to throw ‘main character chooses’ then you could truly have either Akane or Junpei at the gun with Carlos in the chair#I say all this cuz there’s the obvious Akane incinerator parallels and I imagine it could trigger a breakdown for her#if Junpei is behind the gun would she beg Junpei to shoot Carlos to save her?#would Junpei see that Akane sees other players as pawns to save her own life? and if she doesn’t beg does it help Junpei#see the humanity in her? where he previously thought she was uncaring but here she clearly is to save Carlos at the cost of her own life#but my fave configuration is Junpei in the incinerator and Akane at the gun#it helps them see from each other’s point of view. how scared would Junpei be being in the incinerator and there’s nothing he can do#but rely on someone else? Junpei in characterized as pretty selfish in ZTD so this experience could have him empathize with Akane’s#‘selfishness’ in the previous games. realizing you’d do it too if your life was on the line#and Akane can see just how difficult it is being the one to directly have a hand in how people die or at least see their bodies.#and is it worth it to just save one person?#yes Akane’s games have a way for everyone to survive and win at the end. but in the moment the players don’t know that.#I think that configuration would do SO much for akane and Junpei to better empathize with one another during ZTD#this could’ve been a whole post but I wasn’t confident enough in my coherence to properly format it. so tags you get
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say hi to me i don't know, i just remembered being so much brighter, i guess
cigarette ash like wildfire burning holes in the nighttime open scars feel like barbed wire white lies flying high like a ceasefire dropping flags on the shoreline this is as far as i can feel right 'cause what you don't know can haunt you
and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think for a while
don't drag it out living like that doesn't mean a thing
so let's, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars 'cause happy endings hardest to fake
and i wanna let you know i wanna let you go but i just can't bring myself to speak but this is how it goes the end credits, they roll this bridge was built over kerosene but we can watch it and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think
so let's run, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars you can wish away forever but you'll never find a thing like today
#miraculous ladybug#felix fathom#marinette dupain cheng#felix graham de vanily#🌃#ml amv#felinette felinette felinette FELINETTE#i'm shrimping so hard i'm gromping i'm making absolute tempura#yes the 2 am coco pops félix post was made while i was finishing this yes i am constantly experiencing inconsolable félix feelings#félings even. GOD GOD GOD okay listen#i could do a line by line analysis of this song and how i made the amv i have too many thoughts to put in the tags i am exploding#but in summary REPRESENTATION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPLIQUE. FUCK ME#félix's trauma an open scar leading her to the art room as far as both of them will go to feel right#ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS TO KEEP ADRIEN AND THEN MARINETTE SAFE#it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark huAHUAHHGAG I MTHRWOING UP it's how he doesn't care what she thinks of him#how she sees him whether she hates him he's Chosen her as someone to protect and he will DO IT he will TAKE HER WHEN HE RUNS#i don't care if you beat me i know i have this under control and i'm protecting you and everything is going to be okay EXPLOIDNGNIG#tomorrow is a mile away tomorrow where i find out who you are tomorrow where we have to come apart#this is how it GOES you're the hero i'm the villain adrien is the lover i'm the monster i'm the cousin#marinette and félix and Knowing each other is so#THEY DESERVE SO MANY OTHER DAYS THEY DESERVE TO SLOW DOWN AND BE WITH EACH OTHER AND NOT HAVE TOMORROW PULL EVERYTHING AWAY AND UAHAUHGAUGH#i'm not well about them. félix and freedom and escape#ALSO i have so many feelings about félix cherishing the people he wants to save so much he was willing to do the same thing that led to#his own trauma and use the peacock miraculous TWICE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ARE YOU KIDDING ME#you can read it differently but right now come with me ARE YOU KIDDING ME#also ALSO i often think about how felinette standing in front of réplique is a reference to pv felinette#and me placing that directly before the wish is a nod to how the pv was rewritten into canon miraculous. a meta wish... felinette remains#but also in universe you can wish away the world that once was and you'll still never find another thing quite like félix#and who you were and could have been to each other today... cherish him marinette... please cherish him for me#i hit tag limit on this essay so i'm not tagging the episodes i used in the amv but i used all eight félix episodes as always
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#p4#p4g#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#HEY DO YOU GUYS EVER THINK ABOUT HOW POST CANON YOSUKE STILL CLEARLY HAS SUCH A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH NANAKO#the way nanako readily sits in betwn dojima and yosuke like its normal even though shes seeing her big bro again for the first time in mths#the way shes comfortable leaning over and asking yosuke things#like it wasnt even asking teddie even though teddie would be the friend like im just.#yosuke being a substitute for yu while he was going on and making sure nanako wasnt being too lonely???#playing the big brother role for her as well because he knows yu would be worried about nanako and that nanako would be left to herself agn#and i just. I JUST!! the game consistently keeps hinting to us about how close yosuke is to the dojima household over and over again#they did it in p4d when dojima asked yosuke to pass a message on to yu (when he could have just texted?? or called?????)#like souyo or not (in my case yes) like theres just so much evidence that yosukes kept in close contact#its not even as simple as just a matter of him chaperoning teddie because hes obviously hanging around enough#that dojima and nanako both trust him immensely#like. they get it. THEY ALL GET IT#!!!!!!!
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halloween thing i drew for an art trade with @cherry-207 ! she asked for edgar and scri dressed as angel and devil . you can see her part here !
edgar vargas belongs to jhonen vasquez
scriabin belongs to @zarla-s
#hello . uhhhhhhhhhhh#UHHH WAIT WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN I SWEAR#i know i haven't posted a thing since like A MONTH AND I'M SORRY BUT i have a really nice excuse for this . yes .#right after posting devi's drawing my mom BROKE HER FOOT ?? WOAH !#and idk maybe i was sad or . stressed because i had to do a bunch of things my mom used to take care of and it was really stressing#this + school stuff + a drawing a day + some other things pretty much started killing me#and suddenly i was getting hives every single day after 11.30pm . yeah . it was TERRIBLE#so uh . i had to stop doing some stuff for my own wellbeing . like . drawing . for example#but it worked !#now i just have a bunch of mosquito bites on my hands . they seem to like them .#OH SO well um YEAH DRAWING#an art trade with one of my friends !!!! drawing this was honestly so fun#as you can see this is from october 25th . but i wanted to wait for brusk to finish her piece before posting it#te quedó precioso emily . valió totalmente la pena la espera . tqm#edgar's costume looked so boring next to scriabin's#he looked way prettier with wings but if i wanted to add them i would have to erase 90% of scriabin and he came out so pretty to do that#so . instead of making him wear something pretty and detailed like scri's costume i had to make him wear something you could see and think#“ oh yeah that's an angel ”#i explained this to brusk after showing her the drawing and she said#“ if you think about it . him having a traditional costume fits his character "#and i was like OH#ACTUALLY YEAH THAT'S COOL#anyways i really like this one . the colors are so pretty . i finally found a way to make my colors warm and pretty .#WELL UH THAT'S TOO MANY TAGS BYE#vargas#zarla s#vargas zarla#scriabin vargas#edgar vargas#sunny's art
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"[Elizabeth Woodville's] piety as queen seems to have been broadly conventional for a fifteenth-century royal, encompassing pilgrimages, membership of various fraternities, a particular devotion to her name saint, notable generosity to the Carthusians, and the foundation of a chantry at Westminster after her son was born there. ['On other occasions she supported planned religious foundations in London, […] made generous gifts to Eton College, and petitioned the pope to extend the circumstances in which indulgences could be acquired by observing the feast of the Visitation']. One possible indicator of a more personal, and more sophisticated, thread in her piety is a book of Hours of the Guardian Angel which Sutton and Visser-Fuchs have argued was commissioned for her, very possibly at her request."
-J.L. Laynesmith, "Elizabeth Woodville: The Knight's Widow", Later Plantagenet and Wars of the Roses Consorts: Power, Influence, Dynasty
#historicwomendaily#elizabeth woodville#my post#friendly reminder that there's nothing indicating that Elizabeth was exceptionally pious or that her piety was 'beyond purely conventional'#(something first claimed by Anne Crawford who simultaneously claimed that Elizabeth was 'grasping and totally lacking in scruple' so...)#EW's piety as queen may have stood out compared to former 15th century predecessors and definitely stood out compared to her husband#but her actions in themselves were not especially novel or 'beyond normal' and by themselves don't indicate unusual piety on her part#As Laynesmith's more recent research observes they seem to have been 'broadly conventional'#A conclusion arrived at Derek Neal as well who also points out that in general queens and elite noblewomen simply had wider means#of 'visible material expression of [their] personal devotion' - and also emphasizes how we should look at their wider circumstances#to understand their actions (eg: the death of Elizabeth's son George in 1479 as a motivating factor)#It's nice that we know a bit about Elizabeth's more personal piety - for eg she seems to have developed an attachment to Westminster Abbey#It's possible her (outward) piety increased across her queenship - she undertook most of her religious projects in later years#But again - none of them indicate the *level* of her piety (ie: they don't indicate that she was beyond conventionally pious)#By 1475 it seems that contemporaries identified Cecily Neville as the most personally devout from the Yorkist family#(though Elizabeth and even Cecily's sons were far greater patrons)#I think people also assume this because of her retirement to Westminster post 1485#which doesn't work because 1) we don't actually know when she retired? as Laynesmith says there is no actual evidence for the traditional#date of 12 February 1487#2) she had very secular reasons for retiring (grief over the death of her children? her lack of dower lands or estates which most other#widows had? her options were very limited; choosing to reside in the abbey is not particularly surprising. it's a massive and unneeded jump#to claim that it was motivated solely by piety (especially because it wasn't a complete 'retirement' in the way people assume it was)#I think historians have a habit of using her piety as a GOTCHA!' point against her vilification - which is a flawed and stupid argument#Elizabeth could be the most pious individual in the world and still be the pantomime villain Ricardians/Yorkists claim she was#They're not mutually exclusive; this line of thinking is useless#I think this also stems from the fact that we simply know very little about Elizabeth as an individual (ie: her hobbies/interests)#certainly far less than we do for other prominent women Margaret of Anjou; Elizabeth of York;; Cecily Neville or Margaret Beaufort#and I think rather than emphasizing that gap of knowledge her historians merely try to fill it up with 'she was pious!'#which is ... an incredibly lackluster take. I think it's better to just acknowledge that we don't know much about this historical figure#ie: I do wish that her piety and patronage was emphasized more yes. but it shouldn't flip too far to the other side either.
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