#yes I am tagging this so people see it. fuck exclusionists.

[rjalker]

genderdryad for your free exclusionist blocklist. Still hates pan people in 2024. As of literally 20 hours ago. Unbeleivable.

Edit: Wow, also hates mspec lesbians and endogenic systems. find one form of bigotry and the rest just spill out!

Also block:

parxgender

eternaspacic

[arcadequeerz]

.................🌠🌈26 Yrs old🌈🌠 🔆✨Nonhuman - Fictionkin - Otherkin✨🔆 🌈Pronouns here & Find Genderhoard here🌈 🌠🌈Cade / Moss / Rosie / Henry / Happy / Neon🌈🌠 🧁Queer, Femme Bear, Transmasc/Multigender/Hoardfluix🧁

My blogs Icon is drawn by @/thegameartist03​!

Ocs & Characters tag: Cade’s Characterz General Aesthetic Tag: Cadecore My kin tags: 🖤❌🐇, 🐰🎶🎸, 💚🌿🥀 & 🌟🌊🛰️ -----------Sideblogs ----------- Stimblog: @smilestimz Comfort blog: @cozycade Ft Foxy blog: @funtimezfox Fredbear blog: @70steddybear Archive Stimblog: @arcadestimz Werewolfkin blog: @howlinqueerz Photography blog: @lagomorpix Liminal/Horror blog: @liminalqueerz Theme/Pixel Archive blog: @lopbonniez

>Picrew<

*Mogai blogs if you see me Liking a bunch of your posts, It’s to keep track of them so they can later be rbed to my Genderhoard blog!

**Stimblogs if you see me Liking a lot of your gifs, It’s to later possibly use them in a stimboard I’m working on currently! Sorry for the like spam.

⚠️BYF & DNI Listed below⚠️‼️

+ Please note that I call myself ‘Freak’* often and call myself a queer & fag. If that is something you don’t want to see then probably don’t follow my blog. I will not stop calling myself these things if you ask me to, You’ll just be blocked. *look at tags on post.

+ Since I am a Adult myself, I’d rather not have rly young minors following this blog. If you’re younger then 15 Please don’t follow my blog, Thank you! -Note: I won’t be posting outright adult content here, this is just for my own comfortas I am a adult! Suggestive jokes n such may be a thing sometimes but I’ll mark the post as mature.

+ Do not involve me in any sort of community drama or discourse. I do not care about any of it and sending me anything relating to it will just get you blocked. I do not want to know about any of it or put myself around that due to things like that causing me anxiety. Please respect that. If I interact w someone you know is bad, or has done some horrible thing send me a ask explaining things.

If we’re friends/Mutuals I’d appreciate if you could tag: Animal Death/Injury, Any Mention of Child abuse or death, Heavy/Intense Gore/Blood, Rotten/Dirty/Broken teeth, Pictures or videos of cats in dryers, and Furby Hate/Furbies being destroyed. My catchall tag is: Cade No Lookie.

Anywho! Here is my DNI: This is just a list of those I’d rather not follow or interact with my blog. If you’ve read this please send me a 🎊 to let me know you did, thank you!

Please do not follow or Interact with my blog if you are: (or allow interaction from people listed below):

Do not Follow or Interact with my blog if you are a: non-system little blog, cgl, cglre, or ddlg littlespace blog

Age Regression blogs are a okay to interact and follow this blog (So long as you don’t interact/allow interaction from anyone listed here)

Do Not folllow if you are: anti otherkin, anti therian, anti alterhuman or anti fictionkin or if You don’t believe in systems

Do not follow me if you are anti lgbtqia or anti mogai. Or if your anti mspec identities, or anti mspec gays/lesbians We support all good faith lgbtq/mogai identites on this blog.

Do not follow me if you are a Exlusionist, TERF, Radfem, TEHM, Truscum/Transmed, Or Transandrophobe.

Do Not follow me if you’re anti he/him lesbians or she/her gay men. Do not follow or interact w me if you are against lesboys. Do not follow me if your anti neopronouns. Pronouns ≠ Gender

Just don't follow or interact w me if your a exclusionist who thinks they can decide who is or isn't a part of the community. Yes: this includes if you think straight trans people & straight ace or aro people aren't a part of the community.

Do Not follow me if you’re a true crime blog [aka if you romanticize literal murderers fuck off]

Do Not follow me if you’re a pewdiepie stan, Do not follow me if you are a fan of Harry Potter or South Park, Do not follow me if you support/defend Scott Cawthon & Do not follow me if you watch hazbin hotel/helluva boss

Do not Follow me if you're a Zionist or Anti Palestine, Do Not follow me if you’re Anti pro choice & Do not follow me if you are Anti BLM

Do Not follow or Interact with me if you are: Pro harmful para, Transid, Transrace/Trace, Transx, Transabled, a Proshipper, Xenosatanic, Medpunk or Radqueer or support those groups.

[100nebulas]

HAI my carrd is outdated and ill remake it ! later

heres a pinned post to fill in in the meantime ik its ugly but whatever. important stuff yknow

About me

Astrid, Ava, Stella

They/She

Sapphic, Arospec

White

18

adhd autism :)

Byf

most of those are just squicks but pls be especially diligent abt the bold ones !! also pls tag long posts see i italicized it that ones just really annoying to me. you can hit those with "Ava Don't Look" thank u

"we live in a simulation" type of unreality

"..." on its own

pregnancy

gothic lit

ok ko

images of the cop pride flag

milk cookie from crob/crk

long posts

dni moment

Obvious DNI criteria (racist, antisemetic, ableist, lgbtphobe, TERFs)

Ace/arophobe, panphobe, biphobe, anti-MOGAI, transmed, truscum, anti he/him they/them lesbians, exclusionists in general

Anti-anti/proshippers, fujoshis, selfcest shippers all of you are freaks

18+ blogs

Uncritical fan of any media you consume

Dsmp fans

fuck nuts frickin is not good. dont interact with me if you participate in it. BUT . i know a few of my long time friends and mutuals do enjoy it CRITICALLY. ppl i am already friends with can stay in regards 2 this but im making my stance on it clear right now

other stuff below the cut so this doesn't get too long

extra which is directly copied from my carrd mostly

On my main, I'm very forgetful when it comes to tagging.

If you have something blacklisted that I forget to tag, feel free to remind me, or if it's recurring, soft block/unfollow. I won't mind! Do what you need to make yourself comfortable.

I don't have any post tagging system. If I make one, I'll add it here.

I've kind of just been unfollowing people lately?? if we were mutuals and i unfollowed for seemingly no reason you can dm me and I'll probably follow back. this is mostly me just tryin to curate my dash 2 my interests i promise its nothing personal adghzjfxfj !!!

If you send me a post with my interests, I will love you forever

friends can ask for my discord

Interests and Hyperfix

specil inch rest

Kingdom Come

Yume Nikki, Yume 2kki, ynfg in general

Ton's Mobile Game Universe

Sonic the Hedgehog

Kirby Series

Pokemon

Pollys Orangebox Rewrite

Classic edgy Creepypastas

Rhythm games

Character design

hyperfixations ive had that are also worth mentioning bc these tend to come back in bursts

Scp foundation, Confinement by Lord Bung

Splatoon

ENA by Joel G

Kirby

Eve MVs, Kara No Kikuo

Deemo

Mystery Skulls Animated

Junji Ito mangas

No Straight Roads

My Stuff

Kingdom Come - high fantasy original universe ive been super invested in worldbuilding on. see content for it on my artblog!

Startown - my oldest original story, revived !! ye olde childhood fiction about a young superhero in space, with a wish to protect the multiverse.

Nightlight - my own yume nikki fangame that i promise i'll work on at some point

[olderthannetfic]

i think queer slur discourse is an extremely american thing. i live in a violently homophobic country and along with slurs unique to here for lgbt people, queer is the one most commonly used. I hate that term and listening to people from first world countries who've probably never faced any homophobia outside of being called a slur online tell me that if I don't like the term I'm attacking their identity is so fucking gross. I'd love it if they realized that their reclamation is not universal. If someone called me queer, I'd be livid as no actual lgbt people here call themselves queer here, the only persons who use the term are homophobes looking to degrade and abuse us. So while everyone is entitled to their own feelings about the term, the idea that saying queer is a slur and tagging for it means you're a radfem or terf is fundamentally wrong and uniquely western.

People can call yourself queer all you want, you're entitled to that, but the implication that the only people who don't like it are terfs is insulting.

--

Fair enough.

However, it’s objectively true that it was the common umbrella term in the US until recently, and from what I saw, a fair chunk of the rest of the Anglosphere. Then there was a massive pushback from exclusionists. Many of the tumblr pushback posts show extremely obvious TERF red flags aside from dislike of this term.

Yes, these issues always have conflicting needs involved in a highly multi-national, multi-lingual space. And on this one, I am firmly team Queer Is A Valid Umbrella Term In English And Calling It “The Q Slur” Is A Red Flag.

“Gay” is also constantly used as an insult, but we don’t see this same behavior around that word.

[spaceysoupy]

I wasn't trying to argue with you, but I see now that you weren't going to be anything but hostile if you didn't think I agreed with you. I fundamentally disagree with you on the concept of gender and sexuality in general. Gender is a really bad way to define attraction because it can mean so many different things to different people, often in contradictory ways. Lesbian doesn't needed to be divided between multispectrum and monosexual because because gender isn't that simple anymore. The only reason to put qualifiers in front of the word lesbian is to give cover to people attracted to binary men who don't get enough warm and fuzzy feelings from identifying as bisexual. Monosexual means attraction to only one gender. How is that not impossible? You can't really know someone's gender without talking to them, and you're not going to stop being attracted to them if their gender is something you never heard of or it doesn't fit your past experience with that gender. People are not attracted to labels. Basing how you define your attraction on labels is restrictive and crisis-inducing. People don't need to modify their identity every time they find someone attractive. What I think makes a lot more sense than what you tried to tell me, and it's inherently non-exclusionist without causing misunderstanding or requiring further explanation.

Look, I’ll reply to you once more asking you to leave me alone. After that, if you send an ask about this again, I will be blocking you. I don’t know where you got in your mind that I was going to be “hostile” (interesting choice of words there) after I simply told you “I’m not willing to engage with anything like that at this moment, I am incredibly busy and, honestly, tired of discourse entirely” and told you to have a nice day. Ending the conversation. But nice job projecting I guess!

As someone from a culture where my gender is incredibly important to my people and our future, I do not and will not agree with you that it is some nebulous concept for everyone. Perhaps with a eurocentric background, but spoiler alert not everyone who talks about gender and sexuality is talking about the colonially imposed concepts peddled by cisheteropatriarchy. Which I was pretty clear with in my original thread on twitter, which I assume is where you came from. Unless you saw me tag something as 2S or mspec lesbian positivity and decided to fuck around in my inbox, which would be incredibly weird, but I’m choosing to give you the benefit of the doubt.

If you believe monosexuality is impossible, fine, good luck telling conservative cishet white people that. I’m sure they’d love to hear that they’re actually attracted to multiple genders./s

I never said people have to modify their identity every time they find someone attractive, that’s purely you and your prescriptivism talking. Which I talked about.

And, yes, before you call me “hostile” again, I AM being snippy, because you’ve wasted my time when I thought you might be open to having a genuine conversation, called me hostile, and your bimisia and views on gender are fundamentally incompatible to us having that conversation. Clearly neither of us are going to change that, so I��m asking you to leave me alone. Again. I will not engage again, I will just delete your ask and block you. Have a nice day.

[nb-bottombitch]

✨Pinned Personal Info Post✨

❗icon creator can be found on instagram @/nudekayy❗ header is my own personal photo 😌

❗❗Updated: 17 Sept 2024❗❗

‼️‼️ 18+ ONLY ‼️‼️

Hi all! I'm Tiger 😊 Please get prior consent before before using another name or anything degrading, yes even if you're anon! I'm a non-binary transmasculine submissive bottom-- I started T (9/12/20) and I’ve been horny on main ever since

 I'm a queer aroace, so I'm not attracted to you, but yes I do fuck. Also, I am polyamorous, and am always looking for connections with new people 🥺🫶

♡♡♡ Please please please send me an ask if you need anything tagged, we care about people’s triggers in this house ♡♡♡ 

I have a fairly organized tagging system, but if you’re looking for anything specific feel free to ask! Also, my original content and posts are tagged #my content and #personal posts. #my content is horny posts, and #personal posts is miscellaneous stuff that isn’t horny, and probably isn’t welcome for reblogs. Vent posts are tagger #tiger vents. If a post is tagged #my content, I’ll tag if I’m comfortable with reblogs. I have a queue and the tag for anything coming from the queue is gonna be #stuck on queue.

This is a side blog, so I can't follow you back :( I follow from my main, which is @/j***-**s, so like... just be aware 👀

Kink List 

bondage; ropes, chains, cuffs, gags, blindfolds 

orgasm delay/denial + overstimulation 

consensual non-consent 

degradation/humiliation 

spanking + beating in general 

pet play 

choking

knifeplay + edgeplay

object insertion 

(I’m a monster fucker and I have no shame, get over it, there’s gonna be monster fucker stuff here) 

(there’s lots of other kinks, but these are some of the main ones)

Hard Limits 

vomit

toilet slave 

24/7 TPE

forced body modification 

feederism 

racism, sexism, transphobia

pedophilia + sexual age play 

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==

100% Masochist

100% Degradee

100% Rope bunny

100% Pet

99% Submissive

98% Slave

97% Non-monogamist

93% Experimentalist

88% Primal (Prey)

78% Exhibitionist

74% Voyeur

63% Brat

47% Boy/Girl

42% Ageplayer

38% Switch

12% Primal (Hunter)

11% Dominant

10% Vanilla

6% Daddy/Mommy

0% Rigger

0% Owner

0% Master/Mistress

0% Sadist

0% Degrader

0% Brat tamer

DNI

minors and ageless blogs; this is an 18+ blog only 

empty blogs will be blocked

cishets-- this is a queer only space

TERFs, transmeds, truscum, nb and aro/ace exclusionists can also leave

homophobes, transphobes, sexists, racists, aro/aphobes, lesphobes, nbphobes, all of y’all can suck my dick and die 😘

thinspo/ED blogs

MAPs, noMAPs, pedophiles; no explanation needed, I will block you, report you, and anonymously report you to cybercrimes, don’t fucking test me 

if I see any of y’all interacting with me, you will be blocked, die mad about it 😘

[catsafari25]

I was tagged by @let-the-whump-commence thank you! (Notifications didn't tell me you'd tagged me, thank you tumblr! 🙃

1. why did you choose your url?

It was the username I originally used waaaaaay back in my runescape era, because I like cats and safaris and then it stuck because I am No Good at change.

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

*cackles*

catsafarithewriter: my TCR blog, with a dash of generic Ghibli.

sardinesandhumbugs: my witw blog :D

inventionofparanoia: originally my wolf 359 blog, then devolved out into generic podcast blog when the fandom appeared dead.

I do have at least.... uh, eight other sideblogs that I've mostly forgotten about and/or are only for personal reference.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

It must have been back in 2012? I think I came across the term 'ace' just before the exclusionists hit, which was around that time, and it has been a trip watching this site's opinion on ace folk finally begin to calm the fuck down again

4. do you have a queue tag?

Yep, and it's 'cue cat' because I liked the alliteration and the homophone pun. (For sardinesandhumbugs its 'messing about in a boat on the river with queue' because I like puns and catsafarithewriter it's 'the cat queues')

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

A friend mentioned tumblr and I thought I'd give it a try - I figured it'd be an interesting platform for fandom shenanigans, and it's slightly more interactive than ffnet (but about as buggy)

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Cause I'm ace and Belle was my favourite Disney princess growing up :D

7. why did you choose your header?

*goes back to check what my header is* oh, just because I like Doctor Who and Kingdom Hearts and I can't be arsed to change it

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

The road to el dorado meme about toilet paper from last year. (Technically originally posted on my TCR blog for some reason, but w/e) It's nice to know the half hour I spent photoshopping toilet paper wasn't for naught XD

9. how many mutuals do you have?

According to tumblr, 38? If I know you in person or you're a fandom mutual, you are a Mutual+ and you deserve all the good things <3

10. how many followers do you have?

268, honestly more than expected for this nonsensical blog and I'm fairly certain not all of them are bots :D

11. how many people do you follow?

404, but fittingly I'm pretty sure most of them are dead or inactive also I keep accidentally following people on the buggy tumblr app

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

asldkfjasdlfkj usually only on the fandom blogs

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Eh, I usually check on my phone in the mornings, and then on the laptop in the evenings.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

I once had a discussion over fandom interaction, back last year when I really wasn't having a Good Mental Time and I think that's the closest I ever got to an argument. (Basically, I felt pressured to produce creative content, but was getting no feedback and apparently that just fed into an unhelpful anxiety-depressive slump)

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

They trigger my "you told me to do it so I won't" response so I don't. Also I know some folks who follow me get anxiety from those types of posts, so I don't want to spread that.

16. do you like tag games?

YES. NEXT QUESTION but I hate tagging people I don't want to feel like I'm annoying anyone

17. do you like ask games?

PLEASE ASK ME NONSENSE, IT MAKES ME LAUGH also any asks over fandom stuff is always welcome, I'm 85% on tumblr just for fandom shenanigans

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I honestly have no idea who is famous on tumblr; I just bumble around and hope for the best

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

Hella aroace, but platonic crushes on @let-the-whump-commence (you write so good! also hellllo angst!) @tcrmommabear (love of my life <3) @jeremystollemyheart (you just seem like a genuinely cool person and beloved witw mutual) and @wolfiethewriter (2020 was the year of garbage, but it was a little less garbage for you being in it <3)

20. tags?

^see 16. Please consider yourself tagged if you want to though <3

[evilform]

pinned post

the following text contains information crucial to keeping our internet interactions peaceful and comfortable for everyone involved. thus, i would heavily appreciate it if you read through the entire thing. this might get long, so i will be putting it below a read more.

putting this on top for now: if you interact with bubsy3d/littlestpetshoponline/rainbowtail in ANY fucking way, fuck off and block me. i dont want anything to do with you, i do not fuck with you, and i do not owe you an explanation. leave me alone.

first off, this blog:

- is not tagged by interest or media, although the main things you’ll see here are the op’s rambles, half-life, portal, tf2, warrior cats, and OCCASIONALLY retro gaming and indie games. some of these do contain triggering content, of which i will try to tag most common ones. - has semi-regular mentions of cat death (i am grieving the loss of a dear pet. please be respectful.) - has EXTREMELY regular pda posts and talk about my girlfriend. - has raunchy humor, and constant swearing. - has frequent posts of “discourse”/politics/activism, and heavy topics of social issues.

however, i do tag flashing, death mentions, paranoia/psychosis inducing images and posts, bigotry, and suggestive/sexual humor (both under ‘nsfw’)

next, a "do not interact" list. fuck off and block me if:

-you believe that misandry, cisheterophobia or reverse racism is an issue conflatable to LGBTphobia and racism. -think punk, hippy, PLUR, emo, scene, and other counterculture subcultures and communities are SOLELY just fun aesthetics. (yes this includes you bitches whos only interaction with ‘plur’ as a political movement is XD bright color furry!! but then refuse to speak on political topics or are, god forbid, a conformist or abuser LOL either you stand with us or you don’t!) -you are against xenogenders and neopronouns, or people using whatever pronouns they want. -you are a queer separatist (or, as the tumblypoos love to say it, ‘exclusionist’) of any sort. -you use slurs you can’t reclaim, or reclaim the r slur heavily. -indulge in lolicon, shotacon, cub, “noncon”, feral/quadruped porn, beastiality porn, ABDL, babyfur, or CGL, or support those who do. -you make fun of people who do not get jokes/don’t find your jokes funny. -you make fun of how people talk/type in any way. -you listen to lapfox/halley labs/emma essex, msi, botdf, or any of these other shitty abuser bitches (i dont care if you pirate it. youre still supporting an abuser. fuck off) -you’re anything similar to the above. -you are very tolerant of any of the above.

notable sideblogs:

ghostofrattmann - portal sideblog cronaalbarn - soul eater sideblog corruptcule - portal 2 ship (wheatley/av core/ft core/spc core) sideblog shared w/ my girlfriend

[aromoji]

FAQ

(Pwease no rebloggy, this is subject to change)

[Insert any invasive question about my ethnicity]

I’m Ghanaian American. My parents were born in Ghana and I was born here. For some reason both black Africans and black Americans seem to have a problem with that. I will not elaborate on this.

I sent you an ask and you never answered it!

It’s likely that

I never got it

You were blocked 

I’ve already answered this

It’s a random positivity ask (which I appreciate but not sure how to respond to those)

You were rude in your ask and I didn’t feel like answering

I forgot until it was too late, which happens when my inbox gets a lot of asks at a time.

You sent it to the wrong blog (I.e, sending asks about my ocs to this blog instead of @ochood )

Non is just a prefix, black people don’t have a monopoly on the term! I suppose you think nonbinary people are racist huh?

This person explains it better than I can. Plus we’re talking about marginalized groups here. Black people are a marginalized group. Binary people as a whole are not so the term nonbinary isn’t appropriative at all. Also shut up, racist.

Follow up: If we can’t use non-[marginalized group], what can we use instead?

There are other words to describe the people you’re talking about

non-transfem- TME

non-lgbt- cishet, or people who aren’t lgbt

non trans - cis

etc

Black people don’t have a monopoly on the acronym nb! I’ll call myself nb if I want to!

I’m always gonna mean nonblack when I use the acronym nb. Die mad about it.

Hey, the op is [insert post] is [someone on my dni]!

I usually double check myself, just to be sure. If the person’s url is uncensored I’m not going to post the ask

Have you heard about [someone who is mutuals with someone who is mutuals with someone I’m loosely connected with]?

Most likely, no. And unless they’re an immediate danger to someone or they’ve got my name in their mouth, I don’t care.

Are you an anti?

Yes. Here’s why

Please don’t send asks about this

Are you an inclusionist/exclusionist?

Yes and no. I do think aces + aros are lgbt but they still should have spaces outside of the lgbt community because they have issues that both overlap with the lgbt community but are also different as well. Idk wtf is going on with the inclus community, but exclus are nonetheless insufferable, I’ve never met a single ‘respectful’ exclusionist who doesn’t thinks unironically calling themselves an aphobe is a personality trait or doesn’t reblog from people who feel that way. As someone who’s definetly not cishet in any sense of the word, I don’t believe the acecourse is about the “cishet aces and aros” like they claim.

Also as an addendum: I don’t like being called queer nor do I agree with calling people who do not reclaim the term as such, but that doesn’t mean people who are comfortable with the label shouldnt be allowed to reclaim it for themselves and take pride in it. Unironically calling yourself a queerphobe is cringe bro, and calling people “kweers” is disrespectful to asian queer people who use it as a personal identity

I’m also pro-pansexuality, no I don’t think pan people oppress or harm me as a bi (and trans) person. Yes, they should check their transphobia, but that is the case for people of any orientation.

Please don’t send asks about this. I am not a discourse blog, and I’m trying to stay as far away from any lgbt related discourse as possible, but I want to makae my stances clear for anyone that wants to follow me and must know before doing so. 

Do you need dysphoria to be trans?

No. Next question. 

Please don’t send asks about this

Are you pro/anti mogai?

I dont personally engage with the mogai community (and I’m pretty sure a lot of the identies people make fun of are literal trolls. Come on, no one’s actually calling themselves audiosexual...right?) but people who use mogai as an insult or run flop accounts  are cringe.

Please don’t send asks about this

Why do you continue to use the ace flag even though known homophobe David Jay made it?

He didn’t. It was created by a user named standup on the AVEN website, who has no connection to David Jay himself. A lot of aces don’t even know who the fuck this person is anyways.

Edit: I no longer identify as ace but this still stands.

Please don’t send asks about this.

Do you know who [x person/group/thing] is?

Most likely no. Not to sound like a hipster but I dont usually keep up to date with trends. If I do hear about something, it’s most likely from twitter or instagram.

Is x AAVE?

I have a tag dedicated to what is and is not aave.I know some things overlap with southern culture but others are specifically for black people. No, I can’t tell you how to stop using AAVE.

Hey, I can’t see your blog or reblog your posts!

You were blocked. And now you’re block evading. I don’t remeber why I specifically blocked a user, but it’s most likely because you’re on my dni.

But I’m not on your dni?

You probably said or did something annoying then. Lol.  Or you’ve added a stupid comment to someone else’s posts and I don’t want that nonsense on mine, so I blocked preemptively.

There’s the occasionaly chance while I was blocking people on a spree in the notes of a bad post you may have gotten caught in the fray, and if so, I apologize.

However, there’s also a chance you also blocked me on @mojiis and yet continued to interact here. So I blocked back.

Can you tag x?

I have a list of things I usually tag because they come up on this blog a lot.  I cannot do catch all tags, as I have way too many followers for that. The closest thing to that is the “ask to tag” tag when there’s something potentially triggering but I’m not sure what it is. Everything is tagged as “x tw”. If something is extremely triggering, I’ll tag it as “major tw”

Do you tag slurs?

I’ve decided in order to be fair I’m tagging any possible lgbt related slur as the letter itself. Hopefully those who dont want to see it will have it black listed and I wont offend the people who reclaim it. I don’t tag the n word, as I reclaim that one. I always tag the r slur

Can I message you about something/someone?

Unless you’re a mutual, most likely no. My DMs are only open to mutuals. 

Do you want to be mutuals?

 I don’t usually follow back people who follow me, especially if you’re under 17. I’m sure you’re a nice person, but don’t post about things I’m interested in.

Can you give me advice on x?

Most likely not, because I’m not an expert or an advice blog. I’ll try, but dont take my word for it. I’m also tme, ablebodied, not jewish, singlet, etc, so I’m not able to accurately answer questions about transmisogyny,  (physical?) ableism, antisemeitsm, “sycourse”, etc. 

I might be able to give advice on school related stuff, but remember that students are not a monolith, and what worked for me may not work for someone else.

What’s your main blog?

If you know, you know.

Why do you continuously move mains/change urls/update themes?

I’m inconsitent. Plus someone is stalking me.

Can I tag you in posts I think I’d like?

Of course!

[queenofthecommunistcannibals]

Aspecs are LGBT+

Seriously. We should be in there. If you don't think so you are either misinformed or prejudiced. Who are aspecs actually hurting? (A lot of this is geared more to asexuals because for some reason that aspect of my orientation/identity is attacked more often). Aces don't care if you have sex. We don't attack you for having sex. We literally just want to exist and be recognized.

Exclusionist arguments make no sense. Here is what I hear most often from them and my rebuttals all in one place:

"The acronym is LGBT"

Yeah, as of the 1990s. When it started in mainstream conciousnesses the 1960s it was just "Gays and Lesbians" or "Gay Community" (Things like that. The community was initially fairly hostile to the people who would now identify as transgender and to bisexuals. Literally Wikipedia could tell you this. 1980s it became LGB then 1990s LGBT and in the 2000s they added the Q. There has never been a "complete acronym." (I am largely ignoring "Queer is a Slur" because you'll note that it was a self chosen term, much like gay, and the negative connotation was removed, much like gay, which was used to mean "immoral," we have taken it back and I am not letting bigots play with it again. There are many, many good reasons to use queer, the most important -- in my opinion -- being spite and inclusivity. (I did think that it started as an LGBT+ term, it didn't, and I apologize for the misinformation on that part. It started as an insult specifically as a term to describe effeminate men, however, words evolve). I understand that the term hurts some people and I probably use it too liberally, but I have only ever heard people tell me it is a slur and not to use it when they are attacking my existence so I am disinclined to aquies to their request.)

"Aspecs don't face oppression/prejudice" (this is usually so eloquently phrased as "aces are not oppressed for not wanting to fuck")

First of all "not wanting to fuck" is not what asexuality is, the same way as "gay" is not "wanting to fuck" your own gender. Asexuality is lack of sexual attraction. Like people who experience sexual attraction, it isn't a choice. It's something that just is, a core part of our beings and personalities.

As for oppression? I've covered this before. A whole lot. I don't always tag things "aphobia" but if you look in my "asexual" tag for five minutes you will see it, if you actually read/listen you'll get it. It isn't just "getting called a plant online." I literally do not give a shit if you call me a plant. The sentiment behind it is obnoxious, but I really don't care. There is hate, bile, and misunderstandings coming in from sides, just from cishets but from exclusionists. And on both fronts it has only gotten worse the older I get, the less acceptable my asexuality/aromanticism becomes. If your entire rhetoric is based around your opponent lying about their experiences...you're probably wrong.

Also, oppression does not define queerness. If discrimination disappeared the LGBT+ community would not. We are bound by much more than hatred inflicted by outsiders. Did a gay couple in the US suddenly become less LGBT+ when he was able to get married? Is a trans woman in Jamaica or Uganda or Russia more LGBT+ than one in New York or San Francisco? No! And it sounds crazy when you put it like that.

"Aspecs take resources from LGBT people who need them!"

Ah yes, the opposite argument. If aces don't face oppression they wouldn't be using resources. We wouldn't be welcomed in by pride parades as well as organizations like The Trevor Project, GLSEN, and others (with the notable exception of Dan Savage). We wouldn't get """""your""""" resources if we didn't need them. Organizations don't have to help everyone who comes through the door.

So which is it? We aren't oppressed or we take """""your"""" resources? And if we need those resources who are you to take them away from us?

"No one over 21 should identify as ace! It's childish!" vs "Kids can't identify as ace because it is innately adult! You are sexualizing kids!"

I shouldn't have to point out why this is a problem. We can't be both.

"We just don't support cishet aspecs, LGBT aspecs are welcome"

That's a misnomer. And even if you mean cisgendered heteroromantic aces or cisgendered heterosexual aros you are lying. L, G, B, and T aces/aros constantly report feeling unwelcome and attacked. They are only allowed in if they denounce that aspect of their identity and beg for forgiveness for existing.

And what about me? I'm aro/ace. I am not L, G, B, or T or hetero in any way. I am the void.

If you are on the fence, think about these things and these attacks.

If you're an exclusionist, drop your pretenses.

It's time to admit this has nothing to do with protecting some kind of sanctity of the LGBT Community and everything to do with being cruel to aspecs because either you don't understand us and someone lied to you or you're just an aphobic asshole.

The thing I want to stress the most is we are all on the same team! There are actual threats to the Queer/LGBT+ community and it ain't asexuals and aromantics.

[briannafrostgirl]

1-25 cause i'm an asshole girlfriend XOX

Love you baby ❤️

1. what is your gender? Can I say Amazon?

2. what are your pronouns? she/her/hers

3. what is your gender presentation like? Hmm... IDK. I think I’m more of a femme, but my dress style is a little butch

4. what is your Gender Euphoria Outfit? Cute crop top and short shorts

5. what makes you feel validated? Being complimented on my hair, clothes, makeup, ect. Tbh, it doesn’t happen nearly enough and it really helps.

6. top five favorite parts of your body (n why you love them)? Hmm... my legs - I’ve always kind of liked the shape of them. My hair - it’s a mess a lot of the time, but it’s a beautiful mess. My lips - they’re probably my most feminine feature and I’m very fond of them. My eyes - don’t know why, just like em. Can I say my breasts? They’re really cute, lol

7. favorite trans meme/bit of trans humor? A few good options I can’t quite remember, but probably this:  https://samael.tumblr.com/post/146212141815/khatoblepas-there-they-are-the-two-genders

8. how did you pick your name? To be honest, i got it from a Lonely Hearts Club doll and then it became the name of my first Wizard101 character. Yes, I was that girl growing up. Then it was an account name/gamer tag. By the time it was time to pick a name, I kind of had always known what it should be.

9. what does your name mean? It’s celtic (like me lol) and it means strong. 

10. do you have any trans pride merch? A trans flag sports bra, a trans flag hat, and a trans flag shirt that I designed myself. I love them all very much

11. recent happy trans moment? This is pretty depressing, but I’m struggling to remember something very recent. I can remember a time a while ago where I was taking pictures of myself naked and I felt very feminine, so maybe that

12. favorite trans headcanon? Black Widow

13. favorite canon trans character? (alt: 2nd favorite trans headcanon?) Going with a 2nd headcannon because I keep not watching the few shows with good trans rep in favor of watching the same cis-centric shows and movies again and again, because I hate starting new shows.

I’ve been headcannoning Ryder from Mass Effect Andromeda as a trans woman for a while now, but lately I said fuck it and now Shepard’s trans too. Whoops ;)

14. favorite trans blog(s)/trans blogger(s)? Oh no! There’s so many!! Aaagh! I follow a lot of really amazing trans bloggers, so no shade at all to anyone not on this list. You’re all amazing and I value you all. 

Now, onto the list. I mean, obviously @sagaofsarahrose  ❤️ She’s incredible and if you’re not following her, you should be. @skylightsofmylife @latex-tiddettes @thefiresontheheight @casey-is-a-jazzpunk and @themaddahlia are all super cool folx who do lots of funny/inspiring/really fucking neat stuff. And like, a million other cool trans people I follow here and on Instagram (less than subtle instagram plug)

15. favorite trans celebrity? I have a soft spot for Teddy Geiger, cause a) my girlfriend loves her and b) I feel like I don’t see enough trans wlw rep in the little mainstream rep we do have, so it warms my heart to see her and her fiance so happy together. Also I just found out she co-wrote one of my favorite One Direction songs, so...

16. song that gives you Big Trans Feels? Can’t Trust the News and Lived a Life by Enter The Haggis 

17. something you wish you could tell your younger self? That being a girl is something you can just do. You don’t have to keep living like this just cause no one ever told you there’s another way. Like hell, that fucked me up so bad growing up. Cause I wanted to be a girl, but I didn’t think there was any way I could. Fuck...

18. what would your Ideal Fashion Look be? Somewhere between lesbian Irish farmhand and lesbian cowgirl. Lesbian

19. (how) does your gender relate to your sexuality? Hmm... kind of a hard one to answer TBH. I think I knew (subconsciously) that I was a lesbian before I knew that I was a woman. But, because at the time I thought I was a straight man, I didn’t feel great about how much I was interested in lesbians. Even now, as a lesbian myself, I still grapple with some guilt and shame when seeking out wlw content (something terfs do not help with in the slightest)

So I guess, I would say they’re intertwined. I don’t know what it would be like to have one without the other and I’m glad I don’t have to (no disrespect to cis lesbians or straight trans people, y’all are valid as fuck. I just personally am very happy with how my gender and sexuality intersect) 

20. do you have a comfort item? I have an emotional support mermaid. Does that count? Her name is Helena

21. what makes you feel euphoric? When my girlfriend says I’m beautiful ❤️/ any time I’m out w/ my mom or sister and some one says “you ladies”

22. what genre of media would you love to see more trans characters in? Superhero movies, video games, Disney princess movies, and Star Trek. Specifically as protagonists and love interests in all of those. Basically just all the things I enjoy (which are all coincidentally absurdly slow with any kind of LGBTQ rep)

23. claim something as trans culture. Someone else has probably done this, but D&D. D&D was one of my favorite things to do growing up, but I’ve only allowed myself to come back to it as a woman and sorta... reclaim it, I guess. So yeah, D&D is now a trans thing (tm) and everyone else has to ask our permission to play (but like, just don’t be a transphobic, queerphobic, homophbic, racist, ableist, sexist, exclusionist dick and we’ll probably let you in)

24. give some love to your trans friends/mutuals (alt: give some love to the trans community in general) Hmm.. I’m not entirely sure what this one means. But if you’re trans (offer not valid for transmeds cause why you gate-keeping? The cis (tm) don’t need our help babe) I love you  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

25. what's your favorite part of being trans? Getting to be me

[edjectedly]

My Experience Being Ace

I have wanted to make this post for a while, but since my fuck ton of emotions are making me sick to my stomach I decided I would do this tonight. If this helps anyone who has been through similar struggles it will have been worth sharing. I want to say right now that this isn’t the best story, there are a lot of triggering things, and I will put them in the tags, so if you want to know what I have been through after figuring out my identity feel free to click the “Read More” after looking at the triggers in the tags

READ THE TAGS

I figured out I was asexual when I was thirteen. When I was 11 I started wondering if something was wrong with me. When my friends hit puberty they started telling me all this stuff about sex and how they couldn’t wait to have it and I was like..... ��Haha me too! Definitely, but um how would I know that’s what I am feeling?” It was bad. I really thought something was wrong and I didn’t want to tell my parents and I didn’t want to deal with not being normal. Then, I found the word ‘asexual’ and I was like... this is me. I didn’t feel so alone. It was amazing, until I wanted to tell people about it.

I was thirteen at this point, and I thought I knew everything about myself. I was a biromantic asexual and I had a community I belonged too. I was figuring out my gender and it was great. So I wanted to talk to my mom about because of course I did. I told her I was bi, and she was like alright sure if that makes you happy. Then I told her I was asexual and she got so mad. She insisted I didn’t need any labels, that I didn’t know anything yet. Everything was just a phase and I needed to stop saying that. All because I was asexual. She did not care that I thought I was bi, she cared because she thought I didn’t want sex. At 13, that was my mom’s biggest concern with me.

My parents call me a prude, despite knowing it bugs me. Despite me telling my mom is was disgusting for her to keep insisting that’s all it was. That’s also when I found all the hate against asexuals online. It was so hard to read it, but a huge part of me felt like I had to, and then one of my friends decided to tell me that the only valid part of my orientation were the ones they thought were “oppressed enough.” My friend dropped me, and a lot of others in our friend group, because I wouldn’t agree that asexuals were basically straight.

I have had romantic relationships end because my partners, after figuring out I wouldn’t change the fact I don’t desire sex, give up on everything else surrounding our relationship. I think three of the most impactful times this has happened need to be shared, but they were definitely not healthy situations for me to be in and when reading any more you will find the most triggering parts of my story.

The first was when I was about 13 and just figuring myself out. I was dating this guy named Gabe and it was great! He was a football player! He liked my body more than my personality and that’s what he told all his friends! We were about to go to highschool, and he was telling me about how we were going to have sex by the end of the school year. I told him no, we weren’t and he wanted to know why I said that when I should care about him like that. I reiterated that I was asexual and so he went to my friends who agreed with him. I was just being selfish, how could I expect to be in a relationship with someone when I wouldn’t have sex with them?

The second time was at the summer of my sophomore and beginning of my junior year with this girl named Tiffany who I dated on and off for a bit. She was a year above me and just so small and cute and I really cared about her. I spent hours learning how to play our song on the clarinet for her. Then she cheated on me, and asked me how could I be mad when she needed to have sex with someone. I was making her feel undesirable. My sexuality was hurting her. I ended things with her for good at the beginning of my Junior year.

The third time actually happened in between me and Tiffany seeing each other. I got really serious with this boy who I don’t want to name, but will call D for now. We dated right up till April of my sophomore year so it was in total 9 months. He had been my shoulder to cry on when me and Tiffany broke up and he was the best. He told me he wanted to have sex with me around the four month mark and I told him no. But then I thought back to all the other relationships I had lost for being a prude so for his birthday I was like we can try it. After that it didn’t matter that I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to loose him though, so until he got violent I tried to deal with it.

I was taught that sex was expected. That I needed to suck it up and deal with it or no one would love me. Who would want to be with someone so broken? Which is also a big part of what factored into my depression and self harming tendencies. These thoughts of how awful and selfish and just bad I was for not having a desire everyone equates to humanity hurt me and never won’t be something I don’t think about.

Now I am so much happier, but I am still unlearning all the damaging things I have been taught about being me. This is why I don’t want to hear exclusionist tell me that asexuals aren’t oppressed enough. This isn’t the Olympics, we are NOT competing to see who can be hurt the worst, but we do need to recongnize that the things asexuals (and aromantics) face are because of their identities. Yes there can be some overlap in the root of these issues, but that does not mean that my problems weren’t also because of my lack of sexual desire.

I am allowed to not have a desire for sex, I am allowed to enjoy sex if I choose to have it, I am allowed to choose not to have it, but a huge part of me wishes I could be an allosexual, because it would be a lot easier. I would love to understand sexual attraction, I would love to experience it, and I would love not to doubt my validity because some people think my community is stealing from others. 

I don’t want to see anyone, and I mean ANYONE, saying anyone who is asexual/aromantic is basically straight. To not be cishet you literally just have to be not heterosexual/romantic or not be cis and last time I checked asexuality and heterosexuality are not synonyms and the same can be said for the romantic attraction.

Also, I use the split attraction model. It helps me feel comfortable in my identity and helps me. If you don’t use it that is 10000% valid, but remember to not invalidate those who use it.

[trendercore-aesthetic]

I finally made an about me

It's more of an FAQ, but whatever. 

It’s a page on my blog, and it’s linked in my bio. Don’t feel like clicking on either of those? Here’s a link. Still not appealing? It’s under the cut too.

Who the FUCK am I?

Oh? You wanted to know more about me? Here are some details.

I’m Ryan

I’m 17

Gender: FTM

Sexuality: Panalterous Asexual (What this means - panromantic means attracted to all genders. Alterous means someone who can’t be described as neither being (entirely/completely) platonic nor romantic, & is an attraction best described as wanting emotional closeness without necessarily being (at all or entirely) platonic &/or romantic)

Religion: Jewish

Race: I’m mixed as fuck, but the best way to describe it would be afrolatinx and native.

My hair: Blonde, because I bleached it. It’s naturally red though.

Other things: I’m autistic, and have eyes that barely allow me to drive (don’t feel like opening that can of worms)

What’s trendercore?

okay so trendercore is essentially the reclamation of the idea of the word ‘transtrender’ and surrounds the aesthetic of people commonly called ‘transtrenders.’ this usually means:

- bright colors

- pride (rainbows, flags, being excited/happy about your identity)

- soft things

- gender noncomformity

but really though you don’t have to do any of that stuff to be trendercore. trendercore has that as like a general aesthetic but really, all you need are two things:

1. The belief that you do not need dysphoria to be trans

2. The belief that policing other people’s identities and presentations is wrong

And there you go. You can trendercore. Trendercore is meant to be super accessible meaning you can pull it off anyway you feel comfortable. Personally, I find it really hard to float with gender nonconformity, so I just really rock the other stuff.

I know way before @uwumars made a whole fuckign guide about this. In fact, if I’m correct, Mars inventened trendercore.

How often do you post?

My queue is currently at 50 posts per day. I post in between there too. So…a lot?

Why is the title on your blog Captain Pottymouth?

Someone derailed one of my posts and proceeded to call me captain pottymouth because I swear. Fuck them. Who the fuck cares about swearing?

What do I use to alleviate my dysphoria/help in my transition?

I am, at my most basic level, a twink. Let’s talk my transition.

My height dysphoria (5’ 3" lmao), is, hilariously, my worst dysphoria. I use lifts. Specifically, these lifts right here: https://peecockproducts.com/peecock-height-increase-insole.html

On the other hand, I am d e s p e r a t e for top surgery, so this is the binder I use. it works pretty well: https://www.gc2b.co/products/nude-no-2-tank

Packers? Of course: https://www.toolshedtoys.com/stp-fitz-stp-fitz-20-stand-to-pee-packer-mr-softie.html

Closet? I’ll update this later with the clothes that I buy but H&M is amazing.

Wanna learn more about me or see asks?

Search ryanspeaks or ryan speaks on my blog. You’ll see it all.

Hey, I tagged you in something and you didn’t answer!

It’s probably because my notes are usually pretty crazy. It’s best that if you tagged me in something, that you also send an ask mentioning it. I’ll have to find it, and it might take a minute, but it’ll get handled.

You reblogged something I made. Can you take it down?

I have shitty eyes so I tend to miss DNIs. I’m super sorry if I did. PM me or put an ask in. I’ll remove it. No reasoning necessary, just send the post. Even if you just send your username I can remove it pretty quickly.

What is your DNI?

I like to think that if you read my bio, which has no DNI, you would already know if you weren’t welcome here. But since ya don’t:

Acephobes (yes that means you, ace exclusionists), arophobes (yes, that means you, aro exclusionists), biphobes and panphobes (that means you, bi and pan exclusionists), cis bootlickers (that means you, transmeds and truscum), selective allies (that means you, cishets who have decided to pick and choose who to support), pedophiles and pedophile apologists (that means you: MAPs, ageplayers, DDLG, and anyone who supports those communities), transmisogynists (that means you, TERFs, radfems, and anyone who uses their ideology), gay men fetishists (hello, fujoshi. get the fuck off my blog), lesbian fetishists (do i have to make it any more obvious?). Don’t bother if you’re a fascist (aka Trump supporters).

Hopefully that’s it. Don’t make me add more.

Is it worth saying that this doesn’t apply if I discourse with you? If I’m discoursing, interact at your own risk. It’s not my fault if you end up looking stupid.

Can I submit a post?

You can so long as you don’t participate in any of the above. Also make sure your username doesn’t include anything triggering like the r slur or the f slur. Pretty much anything from discourse to art is allowed

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the tags, since people keep reblogging them: #seriously yall......this happens time and again and i'm getting fucking sick of it #do you remember i-am-a-fish? do you remember when you let ace & trans exclusionists target & harass i-am-a-fish off this site? i see the same tactics being used time and again on different ace & trans & nb & gnc bloggers. and it WORKS! it works every time! people on this site fall for it every time and i am SICK of it

#would you just. look at people's blogs and judge them on their recent and overall actions. #if people have been personally hurt by them then yes listen to victims #but don't take screenshots of posts from years ago as the sacred truth #i see bloggers apologizing again and again for the same things and then realizing: 'oh shit they don't want an apology. these people just want more shit to throw at me. these people just want to use me as a target. an apology was never going to be enough'. that is an incredibly toxic cycle that leaves no room for growth, and exposes vulnerable people to mob harassment. 

#and also....let people grow? i'm proud of how quickly the standards of what is appropriate and respectful are changing & progressing. we are all constantly learning new things about what is and is not appropriate to say. and that's good!! but the result is that what we considered appropriate a year or two ago we now know probably shouldn't be. so like...look at people's recent posts if you want to know their recent attitudes. don't go attacking people for stuff they said years ago unless you have reason to believe they still believe & are perpetuating it #especially when so many people on this site are goddam teenagers holy shit #i honestly wonder if that is the reason so many people in online spaces are unwilling to admit they were wrong or change their opinions. bc we've erased the concept that you're allowed to be wrong and grow and update your opinion.

so if you admit you are wrong now you're opening yourself up to be attacked years down the line #as a popular blog i’ve had to learn when to clapback and when to just...let it slide. often it's better to tell people off in private or block them. but callout culture is encouraging us to just...automatically hit back fullthrottle in a way that puts our target at risk for public harassment #so i see a lot of crappy but lowkey comments getting people dunked into shitstorms and it's just....#a lot of time and energy spent harassing people who...aren't really the people you should be concerned about?#and who could probably learn & grow if given the right incentive? #idk i'm seeing a lot of stick and very little carrot. and a lot of black-and-white thinking that leads to more violence than i'm comfortable having in an online community

i need some of you to realize that call out culture, by design, rewards people who make the most outrageous & aggressive accusations, without regards to truth or context. it encourages people to misconstrue, to erase context, to outright lie. it feeds the instinct to attack, with or without cause. 

and that naturally enables certain types of people (terfs, exclusionists, bigots) who already have a vitriolic bandwagon behind them, to target & harass minority bloggers whose inclusive platforms they do not like to see becoming popular.

this has happened time and again, it has driven good people off this site, it is traumatic and unhealthy to everyone involved. purity culture creates an atmosphere of fear & paranoia, i am begging you to reexamine this attitude of mob violence in online spaces

[leah-ocarina]

I see a lot of well-intending people saying aces are perfect angels according to society who never run into problems or get judged, because while we don’t get as much shit as some people, coming from the PoV of a panromantic and disabled woman who knows oppression when she sees it, let’s all just set aside the argument of whether or not Aces are LGBT, okay? Just put it out of your mind! This post is not about that, okay? I just want people to know a bit more about what it’s like, because I see them meaning absolutely no harm, but being a bit misinformed. I’ve taken points from another person who was calm and level headed (and can’t track down the post because I am inept at this website hnnnn), and thought I’d go through them.

Again, put the argument of ‘are aces LGBT’ out of your mind. This is about misinformation and not that— and this is definitely in NO WAY me saying asexuals have it worse or as even bad as/as other LGBT people, because we definitely do NOT. (That doesn’t mean we get nothing though!)

Okay. Now that that’s out of the way, the first few points will be from my personal experiences, and if it’s something I heard from someone else I have it clearly marked, and the numbered points are actual copy-pasted quotes from the person’s post:

1) An asexual person is not going to get dehumanized and beat up for not having sex

•Physical violence—Actually yes. We do get beaten up. We also are victims of corrective rape. •Dehumanizing—Dehumanizing is 90% of what people who know I’m asexual do. Things I have heard to me personally from multiple people (and from what I’ve seen, other aces hear the same things):           • Inhuman monsters.           •Nobody will EVER love you because of this. You’re unlovable in every                 way if you stay asexual (as though I can just change it 🙄)           •It doesn’t matter whether or not YOU want to have sex if your partner                 does. Suck it up           •You need to go to the doctor and get fixed           •You need to go to therapy and get fixed           •You’re broken and if you don’t go to the doctor, I don’t even know what to           do with you

         •If you say you’re a sex repulsed asexual/decide to never have sex (🙄) nobody will want             to date/be with you. You’ll be alone forever and you’ll deserve it.

      People verbally bullying us all the time with the intention of dehumanizing us       is literally the main problem I’ve experienced.  •A common one we get is that we’re really closeted gay people and we’re lying to ourselves that we have no sex drive (file under, large groups of people push that asexuality is a myth) •You’re confused and need to suck it up and have sex once so you’ll be cured (side note—also usually the rhetoric attackers use/directly say when corrective rape occurs) •You’re just a moron with a medical condition (I am disabled but none of it effects my sex drive) •If you don’t like sex you don’t even deserve to live because what else are you here for And again those bullet points are just what I’ve heard from multiple people of different backgrounds, and I’ve only identified as ace for two years

2) and if they do, it is less normalized than gay and lesbians getting beat.

•It’s almost like you don’t hear about it often because people tell us to shut up and stop being attention whores so we don’t talk about it as much, and when we do it doesn’t spread as far because less people with relevant blogs (exclusionists) reblog/share it 🤔🤔🤔 •Just because you haven’t heard about it often does not mean that it doesn’t happen often. This is not a popularity contest.

I know one may not think about what that quote actually means, but it invalidates violence/bullying against us NOT by saying it doesn’t happen, just that it’s less important than the other groups. I know you guys mean well, but you can’t really deny it 😕 If it counts for them and not for us that means when it happens to us it’s less important to you—if you disagree please do explain how saying it counts for one group and not the other does not make it less important! Seriously! I want to understand! I just can’t see how “it counts and is impactful to my opinion of them, but not for you” can be taken a different way.

^^^ Also to be clear I mean the exact way it has been phrased here and not the general rhetoric. The normal rhetoric is that it doesn’t happen as often (which it doesn’t) so it doesn’t count. (Debatable, but not what this post is for. Take that argument to the reblogs of another post or one of its own.) The rhetoric in this quote is that even if it happens (which also implies this person didn’t even check 😒) it’s less normalized (which I assume means they hadn’t heard about it) and since they didn’t personally see it that’s why it doesn’t count.

3) If you don't have sexual attraction, cool, but the differences still exists. There are cultures and religions who praise those who stay with abstinence.

•What they actually praise is waiting for marriage. I never experienced this because I don’t go to church regularly (they’re all hellfire and brimstone where I live so I don’t bother 😑), but since looking at asexual tags and such, I’ve seen a bunch of stories from different, otherwise unrelated people that if they tell their priest, etc. they’re ace, they get lectured about how no. They HAVE to have sex after they’re married because that’s the way God intended it to be. You’re required to, and not doing so goes against God. They genuinely throw fits about it and try to get you to change your mind. I was floored when I found out and even more floored when I saw how many people have experienced this (a few said they were saying they were ace in response for calls for abstinence and got an earful), but it seems like they want you to either never have sex because you devoted yourself to God (nun, etc.) or because you waited. After your married though, you’re expected to and judged for not having sex.

4) heterosexuals who call people faggots will call asexuals.. virgins.

•You must have a pretty tolerant group of people you interact with, because that is definitely not what we normally get called lmao. Normally we get called broken, freaks, mentally ill/crazy/someone who needs to take their pills (I’m serious), inhuman, monsters, unlovable, and honestly they just use asexual as the insult too. Like “You don’t know anything you asexual freak!” They’ll point, laugh, look around, tell their friends, then they join in and repeat. They also call us “losers who can’t get laid” [and are making an excuse]. I have never once been referred to as just a virgin in response to my asexuality, and I’ve never seen it anywhere online either. I’m tryna stay as neutral as possible, but this one is just straight up incorrect/really rare.

5) A bonus-- not something I heard from the same person, but still really important----Sexuality is about who you love, not how often you fuck.

This one I got from someone more hostile, and I’ll it admit I was a little baffled by this. This is not the case for all asexuals because it is a spectrum, but I personally am sex repulsed and could never be in a long term relationship with someone who is going to expect sex out of me. Asexuals like me (of which there are many) are extremely limited in who we can be in a relationship with because we need to find other asexuals (which btw causes a lot of mental distress because it makes us feel extremely broken and unlovable). This very clearly determines who we love and saying otherwise is...well if after you read this you still think that way it’s just willful ignorance if I’m honest. :\ Again this was not from someone level headed, but I thought I’d include it to explain it to other people who think the same thing! 

So thank you for coming to my Ted Talk lol. I’m not trying to fire up exclusionist battles or arguments about whether or not asexuals are LGBT, I’m just trying to clear up some of the most common myths about asexuality I see.

[sol1loqu1st]

alright you know what it is 1:30am and i have absolutely everything to lose but im SICK OF THIS so im gonna be Aro On Main and im not even gonna fucking tag it or put it under a cut youre just gonna have to FUCKING DEAL WITH my bullshit because i deal with y'all's bullshit every SINGLE day of my life and it's my turn

(disclaimer: the word "you" refers to a general you. i'm aware that some alloromantic people experience things like this due to other marginalized identities. but just fucking listen to me and don't argue semantics for once in your goddamn life)

YOU DO NOT KNOW what it's like to have your own humanity systematically erased and denied in the same way that i do. you've NEVER experienced the intersection between the way society treats neurodivergent people and aro people and you've never fucking experienced the way i'm forced to pick and choose which of those two identities i'm "allowed" to have because to be BOTH is to contribute to stereotypes about my own fucking inhumanity I AM NOT SEEN AS A HUMAN BEING BY SOCIETY I DONT SEE MYSELF AS A HUMAN FUCKING BEING.

you WILL NEVER FUCKING UNDERSTAND what it's like to turn on the tv and every single character like you turns out to just be a "late bloomer" or "hasn't found the one" or a villain or in some cases a literal emotionless robot or alien (AND EVEN FUCKING THEN they usually find a romantic partner to PROVE THAT THEYRE "BECOMING HUMAN" OR SOME BULLSHIT). i get that other marginalized groups are treated similarly but not on the scale that aromantics are. i can fucking promise you that

the ACTUAL FUCKING GASLIGHTING FROM THE TIME YOU ARE BORN when you grow up aro (and yes!!! you can fucking grow up aro!!! this isn't a debate!!!! kids can fucking be aro just like kids can be gay or straight or bi or anything fucking else!!!!) is enough that I DON'T KNOW how deep my trauma runs and it only gets worse when you add people that are actively antagonistic towards you who are gaslighting YOUR FUCKING EXPERIENCES WITH BEING GASLIT (see: literally every fucking exclusionist, yeah even if youre nice about it)

you have no FUCKING IDEA how hard it is for the world to hate you and everything that you are, even if it doesnt know you EXIST, and then to turn to the community who is SUPPOSED to accept you to find that they dont. you have no fucking clue how much that hurts

you percieve aromanticism as a lack of something, as just not having something that most people do, but it affects EVERY FUCKING PART OF MY LIFE. i know my friends are going to stop talking to me as much, if AT ALL, when they get romantic partners. i know the characters i see myself in are going to get paired off with someone in the end. i know i'm going to keep being forcefed bullshit that makes romance seem like it's the be-all-end-all of What It Means To Be Human and i know i'm never going to be able to see myself as a fucking person because of it. i know im going to have to keep accepting it and keep dealing with it because "99% of the world Adores Romance and Cant Stop Thinking About It and Cant You Just Accept That True Love Is Beautiful??? You're So Negative And Pessimistic :///" and i'm sick of it already

i'm sick of being the last thing on everyone's minds, i'm sick of being the last person we need to change things for, and i'm sick of everything i am being treated as something that's wrong with me