#yes I am extremely autistic shut the fuck up

[strainedgeek]

I Enjoy Plushies. I have Many of them. the plush animals are my friends. I Love my plushies. they are a lot of Very Silly stuffed Animals and they keep me company. Normalize grown men owning Plushies 2024. it is Okay to have an inanimate best friend. Humans are a Nightmare. I have Many Fucking Stuffies and you all can Die Mad

[aroace-ventplace]

I see other aspecs complaining about fighting off this and that suitor or having to turn down friends, and it makes me so glad I'm unattractive and give off "fuck off" vibes. But it makes me react extreme whenever I see someone, especially fat positivity, saying anything along the lines of "everyone's beautiful :)" skill issue, shut the hell up. I neither am nor want to be beautiful and my issues with my weight have nothing to do with attractiveness and everything to do with wanting to be able to have my ankles not hurt. The only positive thing about my fat is people think I'm ugly and leave me alone, don't try to take that away from me cause your self esteem entirely depends on people wanting to fuck you, and learn that beauty doesn't matter in the first place instead of trying to apply it to everyone. Same with people who say "I love you and yes i mean it even if you're a stranger" like I didn't fucking ask and I don't fucking want it. No you don't and if you do your definition is too broad and you don't actually care about me clearly. The one think I learned from being aroace is that if people geenerally consider a concept good or positive then they assume everyone should want it and be thankful for it or they're just being a pessimistic contrarian rather than actually god damn feeling that way.

oh man i do get annoyed when people try to Do An Activism by saying shit like "don't worry! everyone in x group is [insert characteristic that op assumes is universally desired]! even you!!!" like, i know they have good intentions, but statements like that only reinforce the idea that x characteristic is a legitimate measure of worth, and implicitly condemn anyone who voluntarily or involuntarily doesn't identify with that trait

specific examples from my own communities: trans spaces telling trans people they're fuckable, autistic spaces telling autistic people they're smart, aspec spaces telling aspecs that they can still love/be loved. like... i understand why people want to reverse stereotypes and affirm their community's access to traits they have historically been denied. i do get it. but those statements still imply that someone who ISN'T fuckable and smart and full of love is a lesser person for it, and they alienate the people who would prefer to opt out of those systems of value completely. like obviously i'm not gonna start shit on some stranger's positivity post, but i AM gonna scroll away and feel a little annoyed at the 42069th post sexualizing trans bodies or telling aros they can love their friends or whatever, lmao

[twistedsocials]

i've been sending in so many asks I apologize I just have many thoughts. i'm going to talk about Sebek because I love him.

First of all, everybody says he's annoying. When asked why they think he's annoying they'll start describing his traits that are linked to autism. Shut the fuck up. He's a passionate individual who is extremely loyal and is a hard worker.

Secondly, a lot of the people who do like him sexualize him, and must I remind you that he's 16? So am I, and I wouldn't want people to draw me the way they draw him.

Thirdly, he does have an odd hero worship thing going on with Malleus but can you blame him? He's been raised his entire life to protect Malleus and his entire life has been made to be about Malleus. He also is one of the few people who likes Malleus as he is. If I remember correctly, he's said before that he doesn't just like Malleus as his prince and as a powerful mage, but also for who he is as a person and his traits. He just shows his care in a way that y'all deem as "annoying."

HE'S A LITTLE CUTIE PATOOTIE NERD STOP THIS SLANDER HE'S SO CHARMING !!! How can you look at that boy and not smile.

My only complaint is how he gels his hair within an inch of its life. He's going to experience male pattern balding at like 23 oh my god. It looks good down please stop gelling it back so much Draco Malfoy.

No literally I have my gripes with every Sebek hater out there.

Y’all demonize him for his autistic traits sm. And don’t give me that “but he isn’t confirmed autistic” bullshit, I’m literally diagnosed. I can identify his clear autistic traits. I’m not saying it’s canon, just saying that these characteristics line up with common behaviors displayed in autistic people and seeing them get demonized and hated on feels lowkey ableist.

The thing about people sexualizing Sebek, it’s so gross and grody. He’s 16. I’m his age too. It’s so uncomfortable to see like just today I was in public looking for images of him and got flashed with literal porn?? Like hello???

Also yes his admiration on Malleus is a little overwhelming but one, it’s equivalent to a hyperfixation (yes it’s possible to hyperfixate on real people) and two, as you said, he’s been raised to protect Malleus and that’s what his whole life revolves around and he genuinely likes him. He just has a way of showing how much he cares for him. (This is not shipping Sebemal btw! I hate Sebemal.)

He’s just my son guys leave him alone 🙁🙁

[drifloonz]

Hey bestie✨love your fanfics! May I humbly request a Glitchy Rex x insecure reader? Perhaps autistic too? If not thats cool ✨

im gunna answer this in a bulleted headcanon typa post, which is hopefully fine bc if i write One more fanfic, esp w glitchy i Will explode ( and yes i am still procrastinating on the one i have a draft of. i got two of my back teeth pulled out and am recovering so thats my excuse + its so long and too much writing for me to comprehend rn + I do not have many "new" ideas )

newayz, ofc ofc!! we love our autistic couple

glitchy red x insecure ( and autistic ) reader !

♡ guess who's also autistic. thats right babey its glitchy!!!!!!! he's the ADHDtism creature. along with a lot of other stuff. but rlly whatd u expect. he's a red.

♡ due to this, he'll happily listen in on your rambles or partake in activities that make you happy. you got special interests? he might not understand a word of any of it for some things, but he'll happily listen and intake the info and try to add to the conversation by asking questions. he likes your voice as its an extreme comfort of his, so your rambling is very nice.

♡ i like to imagine before he somehow gets out you twos day to day life when hes still inside of the cartridge is just turning it on and you idly rambling to him while he listens, gives input, and updates you on how he is over there. you are a v comforting presence to him and you give him a reason to want to leave.

♡ he himself would ramble so much abt pokemon to you. my mind is mentally metronoming glitchy hcs between "he would hate a lot of pokemon stuff" or "he would be so autistic abt pokemon" . prob changes depending on the time of day and what he's talking abt specifically, but he does like at least explaining or talking about his whole... living situation in the cartridge, along with pokemon and their stats and whats the best for certain gyms, and strats and stuff like that, along with really obscure facts. he's seen it all and he's seen a bunch of different players playstyles, so it's natural to him to have absorbed that kinda info and be interested in it. competitive mf...

he is literally this image.

♡ if you're ever self-deprecating around him or something of the sort, he's going to verbally attack you with compliments. moreso responding with like "What? That's stupid." and maybe following up with a compliment to the part of yourself you insulted, eg "Your face is the prettiest thing I've set eyes on. It's not ugly." he'll also be sure to kiss around that spot more often and compliment you more often and more casually.

♡ similarly, if anyone insults you intentionally or not he is on their ass, like a fucking rabid guard dog if he was present for when it happened. he'll be yelling at them, or quietly telling them off with like, a simple "Shut up." or something, depending on how bad it is. if you feel bad about it he'll once again try to reassure you that you're perfect the way you are to him and that whoever told you that was scum. he likes to be aggressive and make clever yet insulting quips since he doesn't have much of an outlet for his internal rage, and it also makes him act all cool so he sort of enjoys when somebody is being a dick because it just means he can make you watch him verbally destroy them. and he likes to impress you.

♡ if this happens but its like, prolonged harassment, he is literally going to doxx whoevers being a bitch towards you /hj. moreso, he's going to track them down and try to threaten them so badly that they don't do jack shit to you after that.

♡ i like to think glitchy is constantly moving some part of his body. he's pretty impatient, and will usually resort to thumping his foot quietly or drumming his fingers along a table. stuff like that. he will also often shove his hands in his pockets and play around with the fabric inside of it. give him a stressball, that shit will be popped so quickly. he also likes to idly throw something up in the air and catch it if hes reaallly bored. he usually does this w/ his pokeballs.

♡ this is good in a relationship if you like touch, cuz' glitchy will put his attention on you when hes bored or zoning out, and will instead often touch you or kiss you or talk to you. one of his favorite things is brushing his thumb over your hand, or running his hands through your hair or something.

♡ because you are probably pretty open with your interests to him, finding gifts for you comes pretty easy. he also just has a good natural sense for gift-giving, i'd think. like he subconsciously sees something and goes "oh, maybe you'd like that" in his head. don't ask how he gets these, he probably doesn't have money ( he manipulates his glitchy powers to duplicate the item like missingno, or just straight up teleports it to you/your home or something. likely both. )

♡ he really just thinks your the sweetest thing ever, and also you know a looot of stuff he doesn't. he's new in the real world, so watching you explain very specific things that happen in real life to him fascinates him, genuinely... its another reason why he loves your rambles. he could listen to you explain anything with a lovestruck expression ( ...which is constantly a resting neutral expression with a small smile sometimes, he's not super expressive unless hes mad. )

♡ if you're averse to certain foods or textures, he'll learn that quickly, since he does try to cook for you on occasion... maleeewife.. on first impression to most people that aren't you, he acts like he doesn't really care about you but he really really does - he's just not that expressive a lot of the time and he also is awkward with PDA.

♡ he himself probably gets overwhelmed with or icked out by a lot of food tbh so he eats pretty slowly and also has to gradually get used to certain foods with overwhelming flavors. he's used to literally not eating anything so this makes sense. its also the 'tism tho.

♡ he likes to cuddle while you do any activities you like. its comfy and he gets to see what ur doing. win/win.

♡ he's touchstarved but also hates getting touched suddenly. if you are the same he relates. due to this, early on in the relationship he'll instinctively flinch if you touch him w/o warning probably. but the further u get the more he follows you around like a lovesick puppy yearning for your touch

♡ overall he just loves u soooo sooo much.. you can say literally anything to him and he'll hum and nod and go "Uhhuh." with a small tiny little itty bitty smile on his face... this is where he feels safest. in your arms or holding you in his own while you just talk to him.

[dezzytheantonioguy]

About Myself

Hey. My name is Dezzy Antonio. You can call me Dez or Des, whichever one you prefer. My pronouns are He/They. I'm into (somewhat) multiple fandoms that are listed further down below. I'm also an Autistic Pansexual dude.

Friend Codes:

Now, keep in mind that I'm not going to accept your friend code right away. It's either because my friend list is full, I'm busy af, or I'm just not interested in adding you.

- (Nintendo Switch Friend Code: 3639-7678-5864)

- (Mario Kart Tour ID: ||Although, I rarely play that game, so don't be surprise if I don't add you in the next decade or two.|| 1813 5622 5824)

- (Wii U Nintendo Network ID: JustDanceDezzy16 ||Well, since the online service on the Wii U is shut down and replaced by Pretendo, why even bother adding this ID 🙃. Unless you don't have a modded Wii U.||)

- (Pretendo Network ID: DezzytheAntonio ||Unless you have Pretendo installed on your modded Wii U, add this one instead of the NNID one. You have to create a separate account to uae Pretendo.||)

- (Ubisoft Username: DesmondMyle2018 ||This is for people who want to play Multi-player with me on JD 2023/2024 Edition.||)

Games that I (usually) play:

- Mii Games (Wii Sports, Wii Party, Wii Party U, Wii Play, etc.)

- Mario Games (Mario Kart, Mario Party, Super Smash Bros., etc.)

- Just Dance (All Games)

- Sonic Games (Sonic Unleashed, Sonic Generations,

- Animal Crossing (Though, I mostly play New Horizon because it was a huge hit around the time. I think we all know why.)

- Splatoon (I only played the first Splatoon, though. Mainly because of my modded Wii U. I do want to play 2 and 3, but I don't have any money to get them. I'm broke AF.)

My other social medias:

- YouTube Channel: DezzytheMaker

- Instagram: justadanceboy

- Deviantart: DezzyAntonio

- Twitch: dezzyantonio

Interesting stuff about myself:

- I draw art from time to time. If you want to use my art, then fine, I don't care. But PLEASE GIVE ME CREDIT AND DON'T STEAL IT! I DON'T TOLORATE ART THEFT SHIT! Also, I do take requests, but if I do request, be fucking patient with me, alright?

- Now, yes, most of the art I post on here is from other inspirations. However, I would never plagiarize or steal some else's work for my benefit.

- I'm a busy man outside of social media. So, I'd I don't respond to you right away, I'm either inactive, busy as hell, or am not in the mood to talk. So, don't spam the same crappy bullshit and flood my DMs with nonsense.

- I am a lore fanatic. Hence, the majority of the Miis have inspirational headcanons from other video game lore (mainly from Just Dance, though).

- I am a Linkin Park fan boy. Yeah, I'm not ashamed to admit that.

- If you're that nosey/snoopy about what I posted in the past, keep in mind that I was very immature and a little cringe. What did you expect? I was a teenager who didn't know any better.

- I admit that I am a bit sensitive at times, especially when it comes to having dark topics that are traumatic to me. So, if I do or say something that upsets or makes you uncomfortable you in any way, I extremely apologize for that.

- The first Nintendo console that I played was the Nintendo DSi. After that, I played the Nintendo Wii, and the first game I played on there was Wii Sports (Yeah, I know, a shocker, huh?)

- I got a Nintendo Switch on Christmas Eve in 2017.

- I got my first (personal) Wii U console on Christmas in 2019.

- As of today, I got a Wii/Wii U and a Nintendo Switch.

- As it was obvious enough, I do have a modded Wii U, and I use Aroma Environment. You can thank my Wii U not wanting to read my Wii Party U disc for some reason. It still can't read it to this day, and I'm still trying to figure out why. Whatever, I have a modded Wii U now. Yay!

- If you've been in the Mii community long enough, I'm sure most of you heard about "Mii Olympics." Let me just say that I'm the one that came up with the fanmade title. Key word: FANMADE. Meaning that it's fanon and not real. I do have a Wiki dedicated to them. Just search up "Mii Olympics Wiki," and it should be the first result you'll see. All characters relevant to that game belong to me.

- Speaking of the Mii Olympics Miis, I don't have a problem with you hating on my custom CPUs or whatever, but DON'T do any horrific shit towards them. That means doing anything sexual or any dark messed up content towards them.

Alright. And that's pretty much it. Hope you guys have a good rest of your day and... Here's my Mii, lol. (DON'T YOU FRICKING DARE SAY MY MII LOOKS LIKE BO-JIA!)

[takethistoyourstardust]

dude what is from argonavis i have wondered forever... i think its related to bandori but idk

DEEP BREATH. okay i hope you're ready for a short history lesson because I've basically been following the project since it's announcement.

fromARGONAVIS (formerly known as ARGONAVIS from BanG Dream) is a multimedia project that was created by Bushiroad, creators of such other multimedia projects such as Revue Starlight, Cardfight Vanguard, and yes, BanG Dream. As the former name implies, it was a spin off of Bandori. To pull from another idol game, ARGONAVIS is the SideM to Bandori's Cinderella Girls; as in, ARGONAVIS was an all-male spin-off series of the all-women BanG Dream series. However, in 2022, to coincide with the shut-down of the original mobile game, the ARGONAVIS project got it's rebranding, as well as a new PR manager (who plays a character in the franchise itself, Yuto Goryo!). It's been a little quiet due to the branding change/no game, but it's been re-picking up steam, thanks to audio dramas, new music being used in shows like Cardfight Vanguard will+Dress, and a new movie focused on one of the bands releasing recently! (i need to find someone who has access to AXIA speaking of...)

As for what it's about, it's focused on six bands (Argonavis, GYROAXIA, Fantome Iris, FUJIN RIZING, Epsilon Phi, and ST//RAYRIDE) and trying to make it as their own bands. We also get to see into their personal lives a bit, and the thing that made it stand out from Bandori to me was that most of the bands (with the exception of Epsilon Phi members) are older than the Bandori girls (Argonavis, GYROAXIA, and FUJIN RIZING members are all in college, and Fatome Iris members are all working adults with other jobs outside of the band. From what I can tell, one of the ST//RAYRIDE members is 31, but i can't find any word on the other member, though I'd assume he's around the same age). It's a bit more of a... "shonen" take isn't the right word I'm looking for, but it tends to lean into the heavier side of things with its drama sometimes.

My favorite bands are the first two that were introduced, Arognavis and GYROAXIA, and my favorite characters are their respective vocalists, Ren Nanahoshi and Nayuta Asahi! Ren is a very sweet, extremely autistic (I say this genuinely) boy who's obsessed with tokusatsu and singing. Nayuta is a fucking asshole who (and I am quoting his voice actor directly here) can't say no to Ren. They are SO special to me.

If you wanna get into the music, I recommend listening to all of the original singles released (Goal Line, Gin no Yuri, BANZAI RIZING, Hikari no Akumu, STRAYDASH//STARTDASH), with the exception of GYROAXIA's, because... I hate MANIFESTO so much. Instead, I recommend REVOLUTION, IGNITION, or WORLD IS MINE as a starting point for them! I also recommend AAside (all three versions), STARTING OVER (both the og and the ft nayuta versions) BLACK&WHITE, Breaking the ROCK!!, and the covers for Kuchizuke Diamond, Kyouran Hey Kids, and Monochrome Kiss! As for the story, uh well. The wiki will help you with that one!

I do hope you'll enjoy it!!

[obsessive-bear-walking]

I was ruminating on something that happened when I was around 20, and feeling bad about it but then I realised I was literally gaslit this way.

So when I was around 20 (when I could still move around freely) I bought the wrong flavor of a pop that I like. They have extremely similar labels and were in the wrong spot. ( I don't know if this is an autism thing or if everyone experiences this, but I remember layouts really, really well) When I started to drink it it's tasted funny but not "bad" So I took a few more sips before putting it down more than half empty and then saw that it was the wrong flavor and said "OH it's x flavour no wonder it tasted odd." And one of my family members heard me and went off on me about how that's scary and they have no idea how I get through life at all if I didn't question that.

And I felt guilty and embarrassed about it for a long time (I am now 27) but also. As an Autistic person. I have ALWAYS been told to shut up and that I'm being dramatic if something tastes off or weird. I've expressed that diet tastes different from regular Coke and my entire family has said I'm dramatic and that's untrue they taste through same. I've been judged when I said grapes dont all taste the same. When a safe foof band is slightly off because they changed the recipie and everyone thinks im nuts for noticing. I've expressed that sprite and 7up taste different and told I was dramatic, I've said a recipe tasted different this time and been snapped at. So, why, if this was my entire life, would I even question that the soda tastes different this time? When every other time something that has considered to taste normal tastes off to me and I've been snapped at and called crazy? I had to suck it up and eat spicy food(which is physically painful for me to eat and makes me overstimulated for ages after, i have cried in public eating soicy food or accidently biting into black pepper) because my family didn't believe that it's still spicy when you take off the hot stuff. I've pointed out that mcdonalds sodas taste different at different times of the day, and it's the same shit about how I'm wrong and don't know what I'm talking about and I'm dramatic for simply stating a soda is watered down????? And one of my family members only started understanding THIS year that spicy stuff actually hurts me. I would try to protest eating things with hot peppers because it hurts me and get told to pick it off and "you can't even taste them when they come off!!!" Like yes I can I'm nearly crying because my mouth hurts.

So like. Why would I even blink at my pop tasting weird. Why wouldn't I just keep minding my buisness when in the past I just got talked down to or even mocked??? Like my response was perfectly valid for my situation fuck.

[of-his-dragoon-ways]

I'm not a bitch for being extremely pro-artist, nor am I rich for having close to 6 BJDs, a smart doll, an obitsu and a Ye Luoli doll within a two year time frame of being in the hobby. Layaway exists, saving up also exists and if you're a fellow streamer you might also be able to save up that way. Dream of Doll literally shut down thanks to recasts, from what we have heard. We're a mentally ill, autistic Polyfragmented DID system, we have medical bills, a car and college. Yet, we can still afford to buy dolls without stressing out. Recasts do harm artists, imagine buying a doll that takes days to print versus buying a legit doll that takes months to sculpt. It's literal art theft and many BJD companies have made announcements about recasts of their dolls. Can't afford a Fairyland?? Save up, hybrid or buy a cheaper doll if you're impatient. BJD Divas literally offers the longest layaway (up to a fucking year), yeah you heard us! A whole fucking year to pay off your doll. This isn't elitist or classist, we enjoy this hobby and thousands of other people donas well.

We can't even trust BJD owners anymore because some recast owners don't tag their doll as a recast, thankfully we can easily spot on. Stop trying to invade our space, excusing art theft and stop talking shit about how DOA is hell. Den of Angel's has strict rules for a fuclkng reason and no we are not open for a debate as to why recasts aren't harmful.

Pro recast DNI /srs

[nicnacsnonsense]

What Stede did wasn't "worse", and it's really fucking gross and pathetic of you to insist that it was.

Stede was traumatized. His actions hurt Ed, but they were not intentional, they were not deliberate. He was in shock, he disassociated. For fuck's sake, the man walked for miles, barefoot. You don't choose to do that.

You know who did, deliberately, choose to leave, and who hurt Stede when he did it?

Ed.

Ed, who never once stuck up for Stede (he never would have burnt a ship down for Stede, he fucking let Izzy undermine his authority and stab him, he let Calico Jack insult him and call him the wrong name), who never listened to Stede (every single time Stede tries to open up to Ed, Ed shuts him down).

I am so fucking sick of this fandom acting like Ed is somehow faultless and perfect when he treated Stede pretty fucking bad, actually, and rather than pay attention to Stede's obvious breakdown he was having on the beach, Ed made it about Ed's feelings and what Ed wanted.

Anon, my dear friend, if I may, I would like to speculate as to what happened here. You came across my post, perhaps it crossed your dashboard, perhaps you stumbled upon it in the stede bonnet or ofmd tag, and saw it as yet another example of everyone in this fandom being against Stede and never being willing to cut him any slack at all. And you felt so angry and frustrated by this constant barrage that you just had to say something. I understand, Anon. Why just the other day I was musing on my desire to go on anon and threaten to bite everyone who called Stede passive aggressive. And that is far from the only Stede take that has inspired that urge in me. You and I are kindred spirits in this, Anon.

But what I am certain you did not do is take a look at my blog and check my other posts before coming to your conclusions about my opinions on Stede. This was perhaps a failing on your part, but I do not fault you for it. Still, I would urge you to go take a peek through my stede bonnet tag now, as I suspect it will be quite to your liking. For what it will show you, and what anyone more familiar with me and my blog would have been able to tell you, is that here it is Protect Stede Bonnet hours all day every day. He is my cPTSD autistic son, who has done some things wrong in his life, yes, but not nearly so many as he is accused of and has been treated very unfairly by the fandom. In fact I suspect the only reason I am not an outright Stede Apologist is there just isn't much in the way of a Stede apologia echo chamber to get sucked into in this fandom, so I am regularly exposed to the opinions of people who think less highly of him.

It's actually very frustrating at times -- if I may vent to you here for a minute, Anon, as I think you'll understand -- because whenever I make a post supporting Stede or criticizing other characters in relation to him, I almost always feel this pressure to qualify it. To acknowledge that Stede still made mistakes too, or that ultimately the evidence isn't completely conclusive and other things could be true, or settle on suggesting equal fault even when I really think that Stede was the party done the greater wrong overall. I just wish I could make a post about how great a person I think Stede is without feeling like I have to add caveats because otherwise no one will engage with it, or they'll come at me accusing me of who knows what. (Not you, Anon. While I would encourage you to come on a little less strongly at least in initial approach and assume people are acting in good faith in the future, rest assured that I received your ask in all good humor.)

Now that I've rambled for quite a bit, let's move on to your actual concerns, yes? To start with let me assure you that I am fully aware of Stede's extremely traumatized state when he left Ed; it is even referenced in the tags of the original post. I am also generally in agreement with you that Stede was dissociating for his journey back to his house, though I know others disagree and I find those interpretations to be perfectly reasonable as long as we are all in agreement that he was not in a mentally stable place from which to be making sound & rational decisions.

As to saying what Stede did was worse, first I wish to make certain I was clear in my original post that I only intended to compare Stede's failure to meet Ed at the dock to Ed's failure to leave the dock to make sure Stede's absence wasn't because he had found himself in trouble. If we do understand that, well then you bring up an interesting question, Anon. How do we judge the morality of an action? Do we base it on the outcomes, the good done and harm caused, or on the intentions of the person acting? If circumstances make it harder for a given person in a given situation to make the right choice, then how does that impact our judgement, especially in situations where so much of the circumstances are internal and we as external viewers have no way of truly assessing how much more difficult it actually is? How much allowance do we make for a person acting from ignorance rather than knowledge? How do we compare an action with certain outcomes versus one with uncertain outcomes?

And that's before we even get to your addition, Anon, of the time when Ed left Stede in episode 8. Because comparing that to Stede's leaving highlights another important part to this conversation; that this is all happening within a fictional narrative where the characters serve as narrative tools to further the story and messages. Now, I believe there is much value in analyzing characters as though they were real people making real decisions and find people who insist characters should always be approached from the lens of being fictional to be perhaps well-intentioned, but frequently rather elitist. Still, there is also value in approaching characters with the idea in mind that they are specifically designed beings who live in a specifically designed world that is presented through specifically designed framing. The framing of these two moments treats Ed leaving Stede as something serious, but Stede leaving Ed as being nearly catastrophic. This framing gets internalized by large portions of the audience, which affects how they feel about each of these actions, which can shape their moral judgement of the actions. And perhaps that was the intended message of the writers, or perhaps the comparison was intended to communicate something else, or perhaps the framing of each of these moments was intended to convey something about the moments themselves, but not in a way that would allow them to be directly comparable.

I'm afraid in all this I have no definite answers for you, Anon. All I can say is for my part, I do still consider Stede leaving Ed at the docks to be worse than Ed staying at the docks and failing to check on Stede. For, while there are aspects of each of these two decisions wherein Ed comes off worse, they are not enough for me to override the fact that Stede's actions were guaranteed to directly harm Ed whereas Ed's actions only had the potential to allow Stede to harm through inaction. As to comparing each of the moments where one of them leaves the other, I truly couldn't say, so I leave deciding which is worse as an exercise to the reader, presuming they find value in such a pursuit in the first place.

Next we come to the other accusations you level at Ed, some of which I feel have merit, but others of which I think are perhaps you allowing your affinity for Stede and desire to defend him get the better of you. Certainly there were occasions where Ed failed to stick up for Stede when, as a good friend and partner, he should have, but I think in your heart you know that it's not true that he never did. Otherwise, what would you call it when Ed stood between Stede and a firing squad and willingly signed away ten years of his life to the British Navy to save Stede?

In regards to Izzy, there is a scenario where Stede did not accept Izzy's challenge to a duel, and in that scenario it would indeed be Ed's responsibility to force Izzy to back down and fall in line. But once Stede accepted the challenge, it was taken out of Ed's hands. He could not force Izzy to bow out of the duel at that point without undermining Stede's own authority to accept the duel nor without communicating to all present that Ed has no faith in Stede and his abilities. Stede chose to accept the duel and Ed is obligated to honor those choices.

To the matter of Calico Jack, I have no defense that could excuse Ed's actions, nor do I have any wish to do so. Certainly a fair accounting of Ed's actions here should include consideration of Jack's manipulations of him and even that Stede's attempts to communicate his displeasure did happen to hit upon some of Ed's own insecurities, but none of that negates that Ed is a full grown man responsible for his own actions and choices and who was perfectly capable of realizing Stede was feeling hurt by what was going on and addressing it, but failed to do so.

And now to your last accusation, that Ed never listened to Stede and his feelings. I will say that I disagree with your specific claim that Ed ignored Stede's clear breakdown on the beach, because I do not see Stede's reaction there as being outwardly extreme enough to constitute a clear breakdown. However to your broader point that fandom in general has it backwards and the lack of communication between Ed and Stede, especially as concerns Stede's emotions, has more to do with Ed's failure to listen than Stede's failure to be open, I do very much agree and have enumerated on it at length, and plan to continue to do so in the future. I even agree that Ed ignored a clear breakdown that Stede was having, though I tie that to Stede's breakdown in episode 4 rather than the beach scene. It's very odd that the perception seems to be that Ed is emotionally open while Stede is not, when the reality is Stede frequently asks after how Ed is feeling, while Ed does not.

And in conclusion, Anon, I do have one last thought to offer in response to one of your comments:

I am so fucking sick of this fandom acting like Ed is somehow faultless and perfect when he treated Stede pretty fucking bad

Girl, same.

[spoonyruncible]

This is, like, 98% vent so take the usual precautions and etiquette on that.

Like, so, I’ve had a hard week. I’ve had a very very hard week even for me. I lost my whole entire voice, I had an evening so awful it was comical, my best friend had his very nice expensive desktop computer get shorted out and his dog badly mauled by an off leash beast, and my sibling straight up had to endure dramatically unexpected gun violence.

So it was.... it was very not good. I literally think it’s been more than five years since I actually became nonverbal, much less for more than a full day. But I am, keep in mind, a mentor for a group of underprivileged trans youth. Yes, I live in poverty, so do they. I make a pretty good mentor. I know the kinds of shit that the cis lady leading the group straight up never would have considered.

Case in point, we’re not quite a full year strong but I’ve watched my kids grow up, I really really have. It’s magical. I would take a bullet for any one of the kids. One of them is straight up by baby brother now and the second I see him post COVID I’m pretty sure I will cry and cry and cry and maybe we can hug. But this week the focus was Pride. And, y’all, apparently the basic understanding of Pride is kinda rough.

Like, okay, yeah, Stonewall. And God and Jesus and All The Little Baby Angels bless and sing to Marsha P. Johnson. But that’s not the end, that’s the start. It’s so wild to me that Stonewall is like, “And that’s the story of queer pride. The end.”

Babes and Elders, Friends and Enemies, Autists and The Less Fortunate, Gentlefolk and Ungentlefolk, I am not that fucking old at all. But I remember the brutal murders of Brandon Teena and Matthew Shepard being subject to humiliating jokes. It’s what I grew up with. My first understanding of ‘gay’ was that it killed you, painfully and horribly but for some reason that was okay and no one minded too much. It was even meant to be funny most of the time. I grew up at the tail end of a mass death, when RENT premiered (stage show, not movie) I was 7 and AZT was the best you could possibly hope for.

Now we have PrEP and AIDS isn’t a death sentence, we even talk about it now like a mildly more scandalous STD than the usual ones instead of.... well, like it was talked about in RENT. Death. Just death. And gay used to mean AIDS so gay was uncompromising slow death. Gay was prostitution and drugs and death.

Like, it’s very hard to articulate how different it was just twenty years ago. I even smiled at my daddy once and said, “I don’t have to tell you how I voted, but I will tell you that people who vote how you do drag people like me behind trucks.” That was the only time I can remember shutting him up in an argument, he couldn’t pivot, he tried a little with “I never” and I was immediately, “No, say I’m wrong and we’ll have a conversation.” so he just.... walked away. It was the most honest he ever was in acknowledging that, yeah, I was extremely brave. I was willing to die and he wasn’t willing to protect me. It was the bravest I’ve ever felt in my life.

And I am still, as I said, very young. I come from a third world region of an allegedly first world country. (I can get into the racist implications of that but this is a vent post so I’m not going to dissect everything.) So my experience? Still magical and impossible. Having to shove away earnest lesbians even though RadFems assured me I was just a closeted lesbian and only men had this and it was called autogynophillia and was a fetish. I only craved male power and was nervous about being with girls. I was not, they were wrong, but the idea of maybe if I date girls I’ll be normal and safe in 2003 is way way way past anything a bitsy baby transman would guess at in 1983. The way progress marches is not.... not easy to follow.

I didn’t expect to be a queer educator. I didn’t plan to be an ‘’’expert’’’ but now I am because I hear things like, “Maybe putting out all those pride flags is baiting a bear with the man who keeps threatening to kill you” and my whole self leaps out with, “That was wrong what this woman I trust said. You have to make a choice, sure, and I will not tell you which is wrong and which is right but Pride has never been about being quiet and meek and trying not to be bothered. I’m not going to tell you to keep fighting or to do anything you don’t want to, but I will say that Pride is emphatically not about keeping yourself safe. If you want to stand up then I support you, if you want to keep yourself safe I support you. Because the road to where we are right now? It is covered in the spilled blood of martyrs and I would never ask you to do that, never ask anyone to, but I would also never ever tell you to back down and be safe. Stonewall wasn’t safe.”

And, that’s crazy, right? Telling a kid that we do stand on the shoulders of giants, but those giants did not live to see today? Like, Harvey Milk (who I did not get into) wasn’t shot because he was too good at politics. Some people are alive now, some, a few, a small number. I am one of the youngest somehow, one of the younger of the older generation which is wild to me, impossible. Like, if you’re maybe 40 at the most then you’re the first of the ones that didn’t face The Dying Times, which means the people who dealt with the shit from Stonewall and the following horrors are just.... just gone.

I was stunned this kids didn’t realize the actual genocide made of purposeful neglect had even... even occurred. It was disturbing. I cannot remember the actual square on the quilt, so if you find it then thank you, but it was roughly “I am 19 and will be dead in three months. That’s very sad.”

I’s just, Christ, maybe we need to do a little better education? Maybe a little more on the why of how now came to be? On why Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was revolutionary, on how “In 1960 49 states had anti-sodomy laws criminalizing homosexuality” ignores  that in 2015 plenty of states still had those laws on the books? It’s frustrating, is all, it’s very frustrating.

[andromedasummer]

Summer plz do the blorbo post for elder scrolls / skyrim if an entire franchise is too many to pick from, OR your fire emblems

LAURA ILY okay i will do both canon elder scrolls characters and also custom followers because... they tend to have more personality AND i will also do my beloved fire emblems

Elder Scrolls + Custom Followers:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

Lucien Flavius okay hes just. Hes my dragonborns best friend. Her unrequited love. Her walking dictionary. The person that proves shes still capable of falling in love. The person and reflective of the world she wants to protect. The person she hopes shes friends with till the end of time. Hes important to her and hes important to ME.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

All of the kids characters but especially and specifically Sissel and Britte. Both girls are abused by their dad (with one girl taking it out on her sibling to cope) and its a tradition to use my thane pass kill him in every playthrough i do and adopt his kids. Have done so for the past 10 years of playing this game. They are my babies. I will raise them well.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

I really love all of the companions even though I hate the companions history. I feel like characters like Athis and Ria don't get enough love compared to more popular ones like the twins and Aela. Ria is like the nicest person to you when join! Shes still learning and likes hanging out with Vilkas! Shes nice! And Athis is the only elf unless you play an elf character. Which opens up a lot of cool dynamic stuff about his own experiences in the companions and how your presence could change things!

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

Any of the shitty racist stormcloaks. Any of the shitty racist thalmor. Nebarra specifically in convoluted and irritating ways.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

Everyone is so MEAN (in a funny way) to Martin Septim yes hes weak monk white boy but have you considered when he died I was 13/14 and he was my HoK's best friend and the only part of the game i remember is him sacrificing himself for you and all of Tamriel and I cried so hard my parents wouldn't let me use the family computer afterwards??? Have you all considered that???

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

I love Brelenya and Onmund and J'zargo they got so fucked over by the college's insane shit happening. only students at the country's single academy for magic and we all only ever had one lesson truly the worst college experience <3

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Goodbye Ulfric you stupid shit. I'm taking over the Stormcloaks, wiping out the racist scapegoat-like moron opinions of it all and focusing on being anti-thalmor, anti-genocide and pro-immigration i am calling ALL peoples of skyrim to fight for its independence i am calling hammerfell to help and high rock to help i am uniting tamriel against the thalmor and i am make them die.

Fire Emblem:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

ROBINROBINROBINROBIN shes my girl shes my oc shes mine fire emblem shes my girl shes been through so much I am writing a 75 part story about her I have word docs full of aus about her past i love her so much my friend commissioned art of her for my christmas present shes my sister my queen my everything

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

i would kill for owain you all dont understand thats my fucking boy. adhd/autistic king of naming swords. extremely romantic and also a nerd. gone through so much but still so full of goodness and love and SO creative and articulate i'm so fucking mad they screwed up his romance in fates because the romance he has with the player character in awakening is uncomfortable i refuse to date the 2nd gen characters.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

you are all so ignore Frederick. literally enemies to lovers with robin but instys fucked it up. fantastic husband and father in awakening. hardworking dedicated man

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

i think it would be funny to put ingrid in a jar and shake her till all the racism falls out. might take a while but i am good at causing hurt.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

edelgard was right minus the fascism. she had every right to destroy the church though and i would do it again. just.... maybe not put her in power next time. shes not really got the ability to consider many other peoples opinions. ironically too set in her ways.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

Gatekeeper fucking obviously. That my boy.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

if youve been on call with me while talking about fire emblem you would know about the vicious hatred i hold in my heart for corrin and how weak of a fucking character they are. They actively make me mad the entirety of all 3 fates storylines with their shit decision making and flimsy ideals. i hate them with my entire life they can fuck of.

[whyihatetonystark]

as someone who is autistic im suddenly scared of the new influx of autistic!stark fics because for one there might be misinformation if the authors aren’t autistic themselves, and two, they might woobify him even more because some people have a tendency to baby us because of our autism. i just wanna see someone like me written as a normal fucking person, not a super genius or a poor widdol baby but fic writers are gonna make his super genius thing bc of autism or woobify him imjust. ill fight

Anon, I feel this in my soul. People like them make it so hard to talk about the real life issues neurodivergent people have to grapple with. They just perpetuate these stereotypes that autistic people are either infantile or sociopaths, that people with adhd need someone to do everything for them, that people with depression are egoistical and self-centered and that mental illness doesn't have to be treated as long as that person has others who u n d e r s t a n d. I hear this bullshit everyday in my home, no kidding, and I really don't need it on here as well. Also, I would love for some of them to get diagnosed because there are just too fucking many people running around on tungler dot com who tell everyone who listens that they have autism or adhd but never got diagnosed and never got treatment and every time they are absentminded or distracted go like "whoops, guess my adhd is acting up again". I know it can be so hard to get a proper diagnosis but self-diagnosing is not the answer. And it's especially horrible when neurodivergence is used as a knock out argument against people who criticise content creators for the insensitive stereotypes they use to make people pity their fav.

Yes, there are autistics who have it so bad that they need care. Yes, there are people with adhd so bad that they cannot live alone. But I am begging you to stop looking at Tony's asshole behaviour and come away with "that guy is clearly depressed/autistic/has clearly adhd". You make the rest of us looks so bad.

I know that it's hard to find a balance between the real life shit we have to endure and the extreme internet victim mentality we are drawn into on here. Fuck, my mother keeps calling depressed people egoistical. Her husband couldn't stop telling everyone who will listen that he thinks depression, adhd and burnout are a hoax and people should just stop being pussies if his life depended on it. Guess who i'm never telling about me being suicidal in my teens or me grappling with anxiety? Last time I tried my mother laughed and called me insane. And guess who i'm never telling about my suspicions that my brother might have asbergers? Yeah.

But coming on here and claiming the right to speak for an unbelievably diverse, widespread group of people who have completely different experiences with their neurodivergence won't make the ignorant people in your life shut up. All it does is perpetuate these exact stereotypes and cause rifts in a community that needs to be supportive of each other. Stop fetishising mental illness. Stop making us look bad so your fav can have the pity party you think he deserves.

[littlx-songbxrd]

Ok I meant to answer you're question about what I thought of the show ages ago but I forgot.

I LOVED IT OMGGGG! I got so many kitty vibes from Wilhelm and Simon! The touching! The softness! It's those vibes exactly! I want that energy in TWP.

COMRADE SIMON!! We stan! That speech he made at the very beginning about the differences in attitudes towards "tax evasion" vs. "Welfare fraud." Legend behavior.

Sara!!!! My girl!!!!!! An autistic/adhd character PLAYED BY AN AUTISTIC ACTRESS!!!! THIS IS SO HUGE!!! I would die for my problematic queen. I made an entire post on her but the gist is, I get where she's coming from and understand why she feels the way she feels but dear God girl make better choices and stay the hell away from August.

Speaking of.... I wanna run August over several times. Vroom vroom motherfucker. The fact that he

- filmed MINORS HAVING SEX AND TGE POSTED IT ONLINE

-kissed Sara behind Felice's back when they were still dating WITHOUT HER CONSENT BTW

- Wanted to blame Simon for the drugs because he knew it would be easy because Simon's family is lower class and doesnt have the same social standing as one of the "members of the society"

- Also it didn't escape my notice that the cult like faternety type group with all the rich, mainly white boys is called The Society. This shows commentary on class is vv interesting. Especially the little things like two girls just randomly advocating for THE DEATH PENALTY. The rich people audacity.

-Anyways back to August, when he tried to excuse his actions with Wilhelm and get all teary like no bitch you can't manipulate your way out of this one. And again with Sara! When he said "Wilhelm has everything" I wanted to scream! Like he's fucking closeted and clearly suffering from panic attacks and extreme anxiety you moron.

-Anyways!! I also think that Wilhem might be autistic because he just feels autistic. Like the vibes are there.

- The girl group is so sweet? And to have the popular girl be a Black girl who isn't "stereotypically attractive" with a more medium sized body and bad acne. As someone who has really bad skin I needed that. Felice is kinda awesome imo.

Let me see what else??

-Simon and his mom speaking Spanish consistently throughout the show. It sounded pretty natural to me? But I'm not a native speaker. (Or even fluent honestly lol.)

- Simon and Wilhelm are honestly so adorable and in love and it made my heart ache. (I am so touch starved I swear..)

-My only main beef is the outing plotline and the show using an outdated medical term for Sara, aspergers. It's literally just autism. Also it's kind of offensive because Hans Asperger was a n*zi who literally killed autistic children because they weren't useful to capitalism. SOOOO yeah.

As for the outing plotline, I feel like the cishets have like three plotlines that they use for queer stories. Outing/coming out, one of them dies, or one if them bullies the other until they both fall in love. It's tired.

But overall I really loved it.

HI SORRY I HADNT REPLIED

I wanted to correctly talk to you about this series so I logged in through my computer to make it easier for me :D

LOOK AT THIS POINT IVE RELATED THEM TO LITERALLY EVERY COMFORT SHIP I HAVE LIKE. I've compared this to kitty, I've compared this to Thomastair, I've compared this to my friends to ocs who she has obsessed me with (youd actually like them if you liked this tbh) IVE COMPARED ME TO MY OCS

BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY I JUST LOVE THEM

IF KITTY DOESNT HAVE THIS ENERGY IN TWP WHAT WAS THE POINT

what was the point cc??

S I M O N

OH GOD WHEN HE SAID THAT I WENT OMG YEAH

new favorite character

Great

SHES PLAYED BY AN AUTISTIC ACTRESS?? Sorry I hadn't known! Haven't actually gotten to obsessively look at the cast I've been trying to get over the last episode BUT THATS SO COOL. SARA IS AMAZING AND I ADORE HER. I'll read your post after this! But of course STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM AUGUST GIRL PLEASE

Tbh I understood where she was coming from with everything with Simons image falling apart and her having to suffer when she had just started having friends , just after finding he had been lying to her. But love, AUGUST?

A U G U S T ???

WHO JUST FOUND OUT OUTED YOUR BROTHER

Also random and stealing this from @marzzinaa i totally hc Sara as a demi girl for some reason

Im kinda sad we didnt see her speak spanish as much we did simon :(

But oh well I LOVE HER AND YEAH STAY AWAY FROM AUGUST GOD

FAE WE RUN HIM OVER TOGETHER BROOM BROOM

You already said it all, I just agree

Ok I'll bring a machete you bring whatever you wish and we kill him sound good?

ALSO YEAH I TOTALLY NOTICED HOW THE ECONOMIC DINAMICS CAME INTO PLAY AND HOW IT BASICALLY LET YOU KNOW HOW THE PRIVILEGED ELITES COULD GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING

meanwhile they wanted to pass off to Simon who came from a lower class family the blame

Also I'd like to mention how that would also play into the stereotype latinos are all drug dealers

Which I love how they didnt make his dead beat alcoholic man the latino parent, when I first read the description I thought they might do that, but im so glad they didnt

I think it might have been a comentary idk i liked that they DIDNT make the poc parent the dead beat

THE FRIEND GROUP WAS SO COOL AND I LOVED ALL OF THEM AND YES FELICE WAS JUST <3

I love how they didnt make her stereotypically perfect AND YES MID SIZED REP WAS AMAZING TO SEE

Also im so glad you got to see that represented!!

So I am a native speaker and him talking to his mom MADE ME CRY

it was WONDERFUL I WANT MORE OF IT

pls most her phrases reminded me to my own mom

Autistic wilhelm you say?? omg tell me more (if you want)

Oh thats awful, well I'll just refer to Sara as autistic and hope the showrunners fix that next season because if they dont-

Yikes

Oh yeah, thats valid critisism. But in my opinion they actually wrote it pretty well so I wont really be complaining about an overall media problem with queer stories rn. If so I'll be here all day. But yeah its an overall problem but it wasnt done bad in my opinion so!

I'll shut up, for now

IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT FEEL FREE TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT WITH ME PLS ITS MY OBSESSION NOW IM GONNA BE ANNOYING ABOUT IT ALL MONTH

[kingofthewilderwest]

This hasn’t been a good year for me first I was stalked then I lost someone who I thought was a friend because my mental health issues caused me to impulsively lash out at people I been apologizing and apologizing they refuse to listen to me all they told me was get outside help. The thing is I was there for them when they needed me but when I needed them they abandon me I am autistic and have trouble regulating my emotions I explained that to them when they told me that I keep lashing out at people even after I apologize for it. :( what should I do? Should I just just keep spamming how sorry I am and that I will keep my mouth shut and not lash out at people anymore I just want them to like me again I don’t like lashing out at people I have no control over that why can’t they understand? How many times do I need to cry in their inbox until they realize how sorry I am and that this time I won’t lash out impulsively.

Hello, friend. <3 I'm really sorry for the struggle and pain you are going through. That's tough. My heart reaches out for you. I was in an extremely similar experience once (I'll talk about the experience and results below), so I both care about your situation, and I hope my message can help you with your choices moving forward. My phrasing might sound blunt, but every word is written with love, and I will give comfort through the end, so bear with me. Sorry that I suck at brief. XD

From the way you’ve described your situation, you’ve already been messaging friend(s) repeatedly explaining your actions, giving apologies, etc. My answer is under the assumption you’ve been sending repeated messages. Here’s the unfortunate kicker.

You need to stop messaging them. Period.

If you want them to feel better and feel better about you, you need to give them space for a decently long period of time without breaking that silence once, it doesn’t matter if your desired topic is helpfully explaining how you tick, apologizing, or talking about something entirely unrelated to the drama.

I know that's probably the hardest thing to do. I know for me, when I was in a situation like this, every fiber of my being *SCREAMED* at me to try to make things right by messaging again. I was so terrified I couldn’t leave it alone. I understand how scary it can be for someone to not listen to your apology. I understand the drive to get someone to understand your circumstance for why you messed up. I understand the overpowering pressure of guilt for having done something wrong and the itch to keep acting until I make it right. But you can't make it right by messaging someone repeatedly.

While your intent is reparation, your result is harassment. I'm so sorry to say this, but if you’re messaging like that, you are continuing to inflict pain and make matters worse because your constant messaging gives them no relief. It’s like constantly picking a scab to make it bleed again rather than letting it heal without touching it. If you pick that scab too much, you’ll lose more blood and you’ll get a scar. Lots of people, after being hurt, need time to process their emotions before they can be comfortable resuming a chill conversation. So long as you keep acting like this, they aren't going to want to listen to you, and your actions are going to make them wish they weren't around you. They’ll see you in a worse light because if you can’t give them time and space to heal themselves and you can’t stop fixating on past events, then they see that you’re not handling the situation well.

Now. If you do talk to them again, after that *LONG* break, there are several things you have to do. Ask if it’s okay to talk first and be clear it’ll be a one-time event. Be rational, be calm, be objective, accept responsibility for yourself without trashing yourself or sounding desperate for their response, and make sure you acknowledge their feelings and experiences as much as your own. Accept responsibility for yourself in your words. Make sure you listen to them, too, and respect their thoughts. 

I know that’s hard to do. I can get scared, tongue-tied, and emotional in conversations like this. The way I get around that is writing down what I’m going to say beforehand. That way, I can spend several days carefully tweaking my words so they’re optimally diplomatic (and have someone else check me if I need a second perspective). Now I have a script I can follow that can prevent me from tumbling into babbling emotion. “I’m sorry, I’ll keep my mouth shut, I just want you to like me again” will turn more people away, unfortunately. People don’t trust that because it sounds like you don’t have control of yourself, which makes them think more bad things could happen. Level-headed but kind discussion of the issue is essential; it shows you are *capable* of handling the situation. Showing capability helps engender trust. Also, please make it clear to your friend(s) that once this convo is done, the goal is to move on.

Note that your friend can say “no” if you ask to talk. And that’s okay. If they say “no,” leave it at “no,” and don’t try to get a “yes.” Your friend can still say “no” to points you make during your conversation. Those aren’t the words you want to hear but you have to accept them if they come. Stay humble. Do not try to get them to fully be in sync with you because that may be impossible and only hurt everyone more. All you can do is present yourself at your best; after that, it is their choice how they respond, and their responses must be accepted. If they are bitches, that’s on them, and you’re better off not being friends with shitty-ass uncaring bitches. If they choose not to be friends with you for understandable reasons, it hurts, but it’s valid; we do not have to be friends with every person we meet, even if they’re cool. And if they choose to forgive you, which they could too, then you guys have a basis to move forward again without reopening cans of worms. I do want to reassure you: I’ve had plenty of conversations like this go well and friendships get repaired. <3 It can be done.

Now. You said you feel your friends aren’t helping you at your time of need. I understand the pain of supporting a friend but the friend doesn’t reciprocate at the time I need them most. This was hard for me to learn, but: a friend is not obligated to help you. Yes, good friends will help when they can. Yes, if you’re only helping them and they’re nevvvvvvver helping you, that’s a one-sided relationship and that’s a bust. But healthy relationships also have boundaries and “no”s. It’s not a contractual obligation to help a friend through everything. Plus, not everyone has the skillset to help you for every need. Friends who are not used to neurodivergence might not know how to handle neurodivergent-specific challenges (that’s what I’ve experienced with my own support networks). You can explain it and hopefully they’ll get better about understanding how you tick, though. There’s even types of friends who understand how you tick but still not want to be around it, and sometimes that’s because they have to protect their own health. They can understand you lash out but still need to leave to heal themselves because lashing out hurts them, and they don’t have the energy or emotions to help or listen to you right after. They have enough on their plate trying to keep themselves going without assisting someone else too. Those things can happen. You may find out what type of friends yours are later.

And I know it’s really hard to regulate emotions... I’m saying this as someone who had extreme issues regulating my emotions due to neurodivergence and mental illness, albeit of different kinds... but ultimately mental health is an explanation, not an excuse, and you are still responsible for the results when you are cognizant enough to act well enough. You are valid for being autistic and that is not a problem, that is who you are period, and if they don’t respect that, that’s their issue. Explaining why you act like you do is a first step. It’s good to communicate and I think it’s good you want to your friends to know why it’s hard. But you do have to work at getting better with your treatment of people, too. Sometimes we do things outside of our control. Sometimes these will never be in our control. But some things will be in our control. Part of our responsibility as a friend is to not just admit we hurt someone in the past when we’re at our worst and least controllable, but make an effort, as we can, to prevent these things in the future, as we can. Figure out prevention tactics. Figure out ways your friends can be equipped and prepared if something happens. Find professionals who can help you with emotional regulation. And so forth.

Your friends do have a point about getting outside help. I love supporting my friends and helping them through emotionally dark times, but sometimes a friend’s mental health struggles are out of my abilities and I can’t be expected to be the one to handle it. I cannot help my friend with heart surgery because I am not a heart surgeon; likewise, sometimes I can’t help my friends with mental illness ailments because I am not a professional psychologist. If it is within your budget, this may be a valuable resource for you that will help you, your friends, and more.

If you’re anything like I was, what I said may make you want to go into another round of apologizing, but before you do that (you shouldn't! you can't!!!!), I want to explain what happened to me. This involves me talking about the worst period of my life, the worst mistakes I ever made, and the worst legacy I'll have to contend with. I haven't talked about it on tumblr because I haven't wanted people to misread me or judge me, but the truth is, those old mistakes are a defining characteristic of my everyday life because of how thoroughly I fucked up and hurt someone else by my desire to "make things right."

I was eighteen and sharing a dorm room with my high school significant other. We broke up several months into the school year. At first things were okay, but then our friendship started to slide. We both did foolish things and wrongdoings against each other. The result was my ex needed breathing space to heal, whereas I felt I needed to heal by coming closer to them. As you can see, these are opposites, and it... didn’t work. It resulted in me pestering them and them wanting to get further from me.

I was also suicidal at the time. I had undiagnosed ADHD and rejection sensitive dysphoria and maybe more, and all that put me in the worst psychological state of my life. My emotions were more powerful than I could control. I had no coping mechanisms yet. My diary entries sometimes don’t sound... sane... from that time period. Being suicidal, I begged my ex for help, and my ex said “no”. My ex was rude and cold (understandable... hard to be polite when you’re stressed), but still, she had a right to say “no.” No one is obligated to do anything, but I was extremely emotional at her denial. Terrified for my life, I tried telling my ex that I had helped HER through HER problems when SHE was depressed, why the fuck wouldn’t she help me with my low point? I felt like she abandoned me and I told her so. I was intending to suggest she was breaking a promise and being an uncaring, unfaithful friend... but my words came out sounding like I was guilt tripping. My friend felt emotionally abused, forced into a situation where someone was threatening their life if she didn’t do what I said.

That’s a lot of pressure on someone, a roommate screaming at her that she had to do X or someone would die. It’s a cruel thing to shove someone into. I did that. I did it accidentally, my only intentions were making amends and saving my life, but I’m still 200% responsible for the results. It destroyed her psychologically, and ten years later, I don’t think she’s fully recovered.

When I recovered from the worst of my mental illness lapse, I felt sick to my stomach about how much my emotional responses harmed her. Thus began my rounds of apologizing. At first she coldly “tolerated” it, but I couldn’t leave it alone because it didn’t feel like closure. She outright told me she would never forgive me and that made me more desperate. About once every six months for the next three years, I tried talking to her. She felt harassed. She increasingly hated me. Soon, she thought I was stalking her, and sent the start of what could’ve become legal action against me. One time, I tried talking to her about something entirely unrelated (I was trying to save a friend who was having panic attacks and my ex was unknowingly responsible for the panic attacks), I panicked, I grabbed her arm, she threatened to call the police on me, had the teacher drive her home from class, and the next thing I knew, we were both in the university’s Office of Student Conduct. Oof.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

For the rest of my life, I will have to contend with the fact I fucked up the person I loved the most, and that the best thing I could ever do to help her was... to... leave... her... be.

If I had let my friend breathe after my first apology, if I had given my friend space to process through her hurt emotions until she no longer felt hurt, we might have been able to rekindle a friendship. But I never gave her the time to heal. I never respected her “no, stop talking to me.” My apologies were intended to make her feel better because I knew I was hurting her, my apologies were intending to say “I’ll never hurt you again!” But instead I kept digging a deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper hole.

I realize this is a dismal story. I don’t want to scare you. I want you to read this private story of my pained heart to understand what happens when I let desperation do all the talking. I want to share it to show how much I care for your situation. And I want you to understand that... after I learned taking a step back... I had radically better results with the friends I got into conflicts with. It took a ton of effort and work to retrain my conduct, but it worked, and I’ve found stabler and happier and relatively drama-free relationships. And if I fuck up for some reason mental-health-wise, it’s usually a single conversation and done to get us back on track.

I fuck up, but I’ll never fuck up like that again, never ever EVER, nowhere CLOSE. And that’s a... happy ending in its own right, yeah?

I do believe in you. I believe that not every story has to end like the one between my ex and me. I want to give you that hope. I believe you have a good heart and you definitely want things better. You wouldn’t have messaged me (and I believe... others... on tumblr?) if this didn’t matter to you. And anyone who wants to do something about a problem has the starting kernel of Betterness happening. I believe you can find more peace. Maybe it won’t come right away and maybe there’ll be rocky points, but life can become better, relationships can become better. There are ways, even with mental health struggles, to find that comfortable equilibrium again.

I wish you the best, friend. Take care. <3 Rooting for you. I apologize if any of my words ended up coming out wrong accidentally. I really do hope you find some relief in this situation. <3

[pianjeong]

I see your sokka has adhd and raise it to Zuko has adhd (or just has a reaaally weird way of doing/saying things and people can't keep the thread of the convo). This is based on my personal experience as a person that has almost all the qualities to have adhd or be autistic but isn't (zuko), and my new best friend of 1 year now that has Adhd. I was always the weird one and nobody knew how to work in class with me bc I did things really different, and then I met this girl and she gets me and

Doesn't call me weird or anything bc she do plans and lists and is the coolest about making projects so what I'm saying, Adhd Sokka adopting (Adhd) Zuko and being the absolute (genius) disasters they deserve to be

i love this for them (and u!! im so glad u have that friend in ur life now <3) my general reasoning for ‘x character is adhd’ is “i’m adhd and i said so” so absolutely i love love this hc

and i raise you them doing this in reconstruction meetings or whatever which results in like. the kind of a -> g -> z thinking as opposed to a -> b -> c (this is usually how my adhd manifests but obvi it’s different for everyone)

“firelord zuko what do u think about this economic problem” -> he says something completely unrelated to economics and everyone goes ??? and sokka’s like “yes and the turtleduck pond last spring” and zuko’s like “exactly so this means we should raise cabbage tariffs 10%” and all of his advisors are like “cool glad that’s out of the way now what the fuck was that”

and also both of them having extremely detailed schedules with colour coding and sitting around together writing them out and zuko absolutely refuses to have a secretary because no one understands the way he plans anyway i am projecting now i shall shut up tl:dr hell yeah adhd zuko

[chaotic-neutral-toga]

i’ve spent the entire time since my last post on this and holy fuck i want to fall into a coma

um okay i just thought up a zodiac based story plot thing and uyvbuhyb

okay so there’s this god-like thing but not exactly gods, i guess the “souls” of concepts, maybe?? so like those ones are infinite, not really but like they are, it’s confusing on purpose, but the zodiac are one of a kind each, Thing is they’re kinda destructive. Some do it because they can/want to, some do it because they don’t understand what’s wrong with it (they weren’t really ‘disciplined” or “taught”, so morality is kinda lost on them), and some are more kind, but still dangerous. In classic story fashion, they get sent down to the human world to become accustomed to morals, ethics, and just having a more grounded life. anyway characters

Pisces is autistic (yes im projecting a little) and destruction was the her way of stimming (other than snuggling in a hug with someone). When she gets to Earth, she does things that are “weird” to humans, since out of all of the zodiacs, she has the hardest time grasping the concept of the human world besides stuff she already knew(water and other stuff her sign rules). She’s fairly kind and compassionate, but has no tolerance for liars or anyone that gets on her bad side, which is a side even Aries sweats over. She likes puns (once they’re explained to her), and never understands innuendos or dirty jokes unless they’re really obvious. [Colors for her design: Mauve, Lilac, Violet, Sea Green. Closest Relationships: Virgo and Taurus. Human Name: Clementine.] Panromantic Demisexual

Aries is a bit reckless/destructive, to the point of idiotic sometimes, but he really does have the best intentions with most things he does. You can’t really blame someone for not knowing what they shouldn't do when they were never taught they had limits or boundaries that could be pushed. He can be bossy at times, but it’s usually because he knows his fellow Zodiacs well, and he can tell when they need someone to tell them what to do before they end up arguing over different ideas. Fire is the element he rules over, therefore it was one of the few human concepts he knew, so he took a quick liking to smores; it’s a sweet thing made over fire, what’s not to love? When he’s not riled up over something, he’s just a really passionate and affectionate friend. He identifies as an Androgynous Trigender, sometimes feeling like a boy, sometimes a girl, and sometimes agender, while preferring to use he/him pronouns. [Colors for his design: Red why the fuck does he only get 1 color wtf is this inequality. Closest Relationships: Libra and Leo. Human Name: Everett.] Aromantic Asexual(will kiss the homies uwu)

Taurus is pretty calm, but they can and will destroy you(verbally). They speak their mind and try their best to be honest, even if the truth is painful or undesirable. When dealing with problems, he keeps a straight face(facade or not), but lets his emotions out when it’s over (aka pouting as Cancer give them calming head pats). Because they’re one of the only ones who took to cooking (and one of the quickest to become relatively easily-adjusted to Earth), at times, they tend to be in a sort of parental role when interacting with the others. They can get frustrated with too much stress (aka more calming head pats), but they can usually work through it well enough. When it comes to love, he becomes flustered surprisingly easy, though this is technically hypothetical, as they haven’t encountered any romantic situations yet. Upon coming to Earth, Taurus discovered he’s allergic to reptiles, especially snakes, which makes his friendship with Scorpio, who will not give up his precious boop noodle, a bit rocky. He uses he/they pronouns. [Colors for his design: Green, Pink. Closest Relationships: Scorpio and Cancer. Human Name: Beau, pronounced Bo.] Gay

Gemini was probably the most optimistic of the bunch when they were first sent to Earth; she isn’t reckless, but she does live for the thrill. She has fun watching drama as long as it’s just harmless bickering, and she’ll stop any serious fights. She's a bit slow at reading the air sometimes, which is one of the few things that make her feel insecure. Even if she comes off as prideful or uncaring, she truly does treasure all her friends, and would move mountains for them. She is an ADHD Lesbian, so she has the awful pun of GA(Y)DHD. [Colors for her design: Light-Green, Yellow. Closest Relationships: Sagittarius and Aquarius. Human Name: Mikaela.] Lesbian

Virgo has a somewhat obvious crush on Pisces- not everyone knows, but it’s not rocket science for the observant ones- and Pisces thinks he’s just being a really great friend.(Virgo: I am stoic and distant and won’t open my heart to anyone. Pisces: Hi! Virgo: FUCK-). It’s easy for him to stress or obsess over something, and not give himself any room for imperfection. He’s one of the less outwardly destructive zodiacs, but internally, he tries to do too much and puts too much pressure on himself, which is never a good thing to do. Sometimes due to stress, he’ll isolate himself for a bit, but he gets very touch-starved very easily.. which makes it even more confusing how the snugly Pisces doesn't notice his feelings. [Colors for his design: Grey, Beige, Pale-Yellow. Closest Relationships: Pisces and Cancer. Human Name: Ezra.] get em boys, we found a Hetero

Libra is a quiet one, usually collecting information from afar before interjecting. He likes being helpful since he’s aware that he sometimes overthinks interaction. Asking him questions can be confusing, as he usually answers with simple “yes”’s and “no”’s. He enjoys reading fairytales; no real reason, he just likes them. He has Sensory Processing Disorder, which simultaneously makes him the dad and the baby of the group. [Colors for his design: Pink, Green. Closest Relationships: Aries and Sagittarius. Human Name: Libra, which is luckily an actual greek name.] Bi

Leo is a rowdy girl to say the least. She’s loves just horsing around with her friends, usually in the manner of play-fighting and tackle hugs. If you didn’t guess, she’s one of the more destructive Zodiacs, even on Earth. She denies ever doing things when confronted, though it doesn’t work most of the time (”Whaaat, I didn’t break that vase, that was Aries, right bro?” “Hey, don’t pin this on me!” “BRO-”). She is extremely loyal to the people she cares for, which could cross into naivety if she chose the wrong person as her friend. While she definitely isn't the motherly type, if one of her friends really needs to be comforted, she’ll sit them on her lap and stroke their head(she stronk owo). Though normally upbeat, she becomes somber in grim-looking situations, to the point of pessimistic. [Colors for her design: Gold, Yellow, Orange. Closest Relationships: Aquarius and Gemini. Human Name: Amaterasu.] Demiromantic Asexual

Scorpio has a pet boop noodle(baby ball python) that he almost stole before Taurus payed for it, which is when they discovered Taurus is allergic. They’re an overall cold and distant person, but they’re not completely shut-off; they just have a hard time warming up to people. Because of this, he holds grudges for a long time when his carefully-placed trust is betrayed. He seems to sometimes just appear and disappear during discussions with anyone noticing until he suddenly speaks up or they want to talk to him(spoiler alert: he’s just quiet). He’s very cute and peaceful when sleeping. [Colors for his design: Scarlet, Red, Rust. Closest Relationships: Taurus and Cancer. Human Name: Phoenix.] Arospike Aceflux

Cancer is very much a big sister to most, if not all, the Zodiacs. She has a caring air about her and can adjust to suit the boundaries of her friends. She herself is quite sensitive- though no one’s ever seen her like that- and she never wants her friends to feel that way. Besides that, she takes great interest in human pleasantries, such as sweet food, cameras, and lullabies. While she prefers to be the mediator during fights, if someone, say, insulted her friend and wouldn’t back off, she would lash back with a stone cold fury; the shock value alone gives her an advantage in those situations. [Colors for her design: White again with only one color wtf im adding my own, Pale-Orange, Various Yellows. Closest Relationships: Capricorn and Taurus. Human Name: June.] Questioning Asexual

Sagittarius is one of those aggressively positive people, saying what they want with no filter. They don’t take any shit from anyone, no matter who they are. She’s very free-spirited, but she’s not unguided; she knows what she wants and when she wants it. She’s never really hurt by anything, brushing and laughing things off almost immediately. She can get quite impatient, to the point of childishly whining. I’d bet 50 bucks that she was the first Zodiac to “discover” alcohol. [Colors for her design: Blue, Deep Purples, Browns. Closest Relationships: Gemini and Aries. Human Name: Nova.] Butch Grey-Aromantic Homosexual/Femmesexual

Aquarius is an analytical and selfless individual. They approach solutions to situations practically and objectively, even if their heart tells them otherwise. They keep their emotions bottled up most of the time, and if they’re doing something, there’s a high chance they’re doing it for someone else. Before, that was okay, since it was just the Zodiacs; but on Earth, it makes her a bit of a doormat. She’s one of the more morally-misguided Zodiacs, and she can’t really identify when something is criminal. She has a hard time remembering that she can’t say things like “human pleasantries” or call people insignificant compared to herself. They like being alone a lot, but they’re not antisocial. [Colors for her design: Light-Blue, Silver. Closest Relationships: Leo and Sagittarius. Human Name: Aqua no she did not try.] Aromantic Asexual(will not kiss the homies u~u)

Capricorn is pretty much “i’m surrounded by idiots”, but they’re his idiots and he knows he loves them. He doesn't look anything special, but he can and will throw you across the room if you fuck with him or his idiots, especially when he’s tired. He is peak sarcastic bitch and has pretty solid bullshit detector. If one of the Zodiacs is asleep where they shouldn’t be or they’re just leaving somewhere, he usually hoists them over his shoulder. He’s generally reserved but the Hug Pile™, or really extreme amounts of platonic affection in general, make him really soft; half because he’s surprised that they honestly care for him that much. [Colors for his design: Brown, Black, Grey, Yellow, Yellow-Orange. Closest Relationships: Taurus and Cancer. Human Name: Kai.] Aromantic Asexual(will be kissed by the homies owo)

holy fukcing shit is that it. am i finally fucking done. oh sweet jesus im crying this took me so fucking long

sorry if anyone was worried about me, i’m fine. Art, drabbles, and headcanons for this are allowed, but please link this post and/or tag me(or just send it in asks). i’ll try to be productive on this, tho itll probably be in the form of mini scenarios and incorrect quotes.

Here are the songs that kept me from kms while i made this: Lost One’s Weeping by Neru, Namine Ritsu-Error by kyaami, Yukune Ruko-I Don’t Wanna Know by Narcissus, Nakakapagpabagabag by Dasu, Madness of Duke Venomania Eng Sub by IkuSuperbia, v flower-Close to You by kyaami, My Nocturnal Serenade by YOHIO, Len’s Growl-Ghost Rule by Teto Chan!, Fukase English-Never Gonna Give You Up, Fukase English-Your Reality.

pls feed me validation on this i tried so hard my brain hurts