#yes - fantasies can cause or influence irl actions

[tumblehcendrum]

This goes hand in hand with recognizing, as even OP doesn't, that "pedophiles" and "child abusers" are two wildly different groups. Half of the child abusers are not pedophiles and most pedophiles aren't child abusers. I've seen as high as 90%, maybe I'll look for where later, but the point is: how can we expect to craft effective policies against perpetrators of child abuse when we can't even accurately identify the group in question? And most importantly, why is this separation so passionately fought against? Is it just because if the meaning of pedophile isn't 'child abuser' but 'person with weird fantasies' it's a lot harder to paint yourself as the good guy for persecuting them? I'd like to hope not, but see few other explanations.

the tough (for some) truth is that "instituting policies that will actually protect children from sexual exploitation" and "instituting policies out of a performative hatred of the social boogeyman called 'the pedophile'" are mutually exclusive goals, because the vast majority of pedophiles that exist in the real world overwhelmingly benefit from the latter slate of policies.

[smimon]

More questions to giant k

Fav season? Why?

Least fav season? Why?

Potato fan? 👀👀👀 i freaking love potatoes, especially fried 🤤🤤🤤.

Who was the first K called once he realised something was wrong? How did that go?

How was the adjustment phase?

Why is he so tall? Was there a reason and if so what was it? Is it permanent or temporary? Can it be undone? Who caused it? 👀👀👀 more backstory?

What influences his size? Can he get even taller? Will clothes given to him magically fit suddenly? Even if the item was standard size? Or does that not work?

He is tall yes but did he ever got lost?

Jay my friend saving the day again with a pile of nice questions 🥹💛

Fav season? Why?

Must be summer because he can just walk shirtless and not worry about wearing the same one t-shirt for the 100th time 😅

Least fav season? Why?

Was gonna say winter which is I guess true for irl Jere but actually giant K would enjoy the thought that he can serve as a portable heater for his friends and just shove them under his jacket in case they don't dress warm enough for the weather 🤭

So maybe it is autumn instead, when the weather forces him inside buildings more often than he would like :/

He still hasn't experienced spring as a giant so the ranking might still change 👀

Potato fan? 👀👀👀 i freaking love potatoes, especially fried 🤤🤤🤤.

He's probably enjoying baked potatoes more than fries, chasing each and every single fry through the plate must be irritating when they are so tiny to him, and cutlery won't make things any easier...

I bet he loves kumpir!

Who was the first K called once he realised something was wrong? How did that go?

🥹 This will be detailed in one episode but he did set up a group call thing with Häärijä and Jesse, asking them to come keep him company but still not quite understanding what happened.

Jesse was the first to arrive because Häärijä quickly went shopping for groceries (they thought he's sick or something). He and Jere first assumed they must be hallucinating, until they realized they are not 😅 and Häärijä never noticed something changed but still made sure his friend is being taken care of 💛

How was the adjustment phase?

Well, once he realized he is very likely not going to shrink anytime soon, he took extra effort to feel comfortable in his new shape as soon as possible.

So he did a lot of physical activity until the movements felt right again, like aerobics and swimming and zumba and Just Dance. And asked his gym to provide weights heavy enough for him to not go out of shape.

And definitely tried to squeeze on purpose into every hole and opening and space that seemed just barely big enough for him, so that he could learn his limits before he got stuck somewhere accidentally when least expecting it. Mostly places that are not meant for human presence at all. He would notice a wardrobe or a car trunk or two trees growing close to each other and go nyoom! without a single thought.

Why is he so tall? Was there a reason and if so what was it? Is it permanent or temporary? Can it be undone? Who caused it? 👀👀👀 more backstory?

Can't answer because spoilers for final episode 🥲

Can I say that he grew through the power of love like Clifford the big red dog? Would you accept such an answer? XD

Well there is one way it could go away with time, but it would take years and also it does not seem likely at this point (will be detailed in the finale). So it is permanent for now.

The magical forces that caused it technically could revert it if persuaded enough. But they are proud and stubborn magical beings who believe their actions were only good and right and mere mortals disagreeing with them is not enough to make them undo such a magical masterpiece! (The finale will be very fantasy genre haha)

What influences his size? Can he get even taller? Will clothes given to him magically fit suddenly? Even if the item was standard size? Or does that not work?

Oh he would never want to get so big that it would be impossible to hold hands with his friends 🥺 and the forces of magic are not cuel, they won't do this to him 💚

His current size is a result of a few coincidences and misunderstandings and some ignorance too 😅 once he and his friends learn the truth they will probably sit and stare in the void for a few hours

He needs his clothes tailor-made 🥺 everything he owned before the change also grew, but new clothes need to be specifically made for him. If he were to return to his previous size, the new bigger clothes would shrink too! Magic is so thoughtful!

He is tall yes but did he ever got lost?

Wouldn't it be the funniest thing 😂

Imagine Kä confidently going for a walk in an unknown neighbourhood believing he has a good sense of orientation since he can see so far. And five minutes later calling Jesse for help and unable to even describe where he is 👍

Thanks for asking 😊💛

[jingyismom]

1. Ah, after reading those posts, I can see now that inumerous nuances were lost in the translation, specially the sex scene at the end of the novel. The translation I read indeed made me think that Lan Zhan was r*ping Wei Ying at some extent. He just seemed so agressive towards him, it got me surprised. In general, I don't have a problem with their sexual relationship or their kink at all (it has consent in the end) nor with whom enjoys it (I've read fanfic about it too and liked it).

The rest of your asks are under the cut anon!

Continuing discussion from this previous ask.

I totally get you anon, and yes, in real life, assault is assault the moment someone's wishes about their body are violated. You are totally correct, and again, your feelings are 100% valid. You're allowed to feel this way about that scene, and many other people do, too. I'm personally not a great fan of the way that scene characterizes either of them, and it's not a part of the canon I use in my head or in my writing, but I do understand that for some people it is essential/exciting/romantic.

I'm sure people have written about their personal feelings on that scene from a standpoint of enjoyment, and I'm sure that would be very interesting to read, but I regretfully don't have any links for you. All I can offer is my own view on Things In Media I Don't Understand And Don't Like. Again, forgive me if I'm just telling you things you already know.

The thing we just have to remember is: it's not for us. That scene, written that way, is not made for everyone on the planet to have to understand or enjoy. It was written for people who will enjoy it, because it's a work of fiction by one individual person with their own personal tastes - tastes which are, yes, again, also influenced by a culture different from yours or mine.

And it may be hard for you or me to understand, but fantasizing about a forceful stranger taking what they want from you, only to be revealed to be your one true love...that's a fantasy as old as time in, I think, any culture. People fantasize about dubiously consensual and non-consensual encounters all the time and they always have. Some people want to live out those fantasies in real life! I dearly, dearly hope they are able to find safe and sane ways in which to do this, because communities exist for this very purpose!

Obviously, these fantasies do sometimes get taken out of their context and turned into horrible things. But that is due to other difficult factors, not the existence of the fantasies themselves. That's a really important thing to keep in mind, for me.

I would argue that society romanticizing super tall size 0 models with lots of plastic surgery and filters is arguably more harmful to all of us than a handful of people with a non-con kissing fantasy. It may sound flippant to say that, but danmei novels simply don't have the reach or influence to cause people to commit real life physical assault on any kind of scale. Other societal and personal issues are at fault, for that. Lots of them, in complex ways I don't have the education or experience to unpack. In short: fiction/fandom/fantasy are not to blame for heinous real-life actions.

Again, I'm not minimizing your emotional reaction to the content, and I hope this isn't coming off as patronizing, because I totally get it.

But in fiction it is all down to a matter of personal enjoyment. There are a whole lot of kinks out there that I don't understand, and a whole lot of kinks I have that other people don't understand! Sometimes, when I see things out in the wild I'm unprepared for, it does confuse or upset me! This is why tagging works with content warnings is so very important.

So for me, what I find most comforting and healthy, is to curate my engagement with fandom such that I don't have to see the things I don't like. Fandom works best for ourselves and others when we operate with a "live and let live" attitude. We don't have to like or understand other kinks, and other people don't have to like or understand ours. We just have to take care of ourselves out here in the internet wilderness, and let other people do the same for themselves. For you, maybe that means blocking or muting people you see romanticizing the Phoenix Mountain kiss. Or if it's irl, maybe you let people know you're not comfortable talking about it.

Finding private spaces to vent, or friends to vent with, is also essential. Maybe you can find people who have also seen the same examples of people romanticizing it, and also hate it as much as you do, and you guys can be salty about it in DMs somewhere together. That's the ideal set-up, in my opinion! That way, you can have a safe place to air your grievances.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: fiction and personal fantasy are both things that we can't really judge other people's tastes in, no matter how incomprehensible they may seem. The best thing we can do is surround ourselves with the kind of content we DO want to see, and ignore the stuff we don't like, and expect the same courtesy in return from people with other likes and opinions.

I hope this all makes sense and doesn't come off as dismissive, anon. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to engage in discussion on this, and I'm very thankful for your willingness to help me understand where you're coming from. We're all just doing our best out here, and I sincerely hope you can find the space to enjoy the things you want to enjoy without being confronted with things that make you feel bad. ❤️

[multifandomaddictedfangirl]

Misconceptions about Breaking bad ~ my theory (Spoilers!)

So I’ve just finished watching Breaking Bad. All seasons. I really loved the show. It was well written, well directed, well thought in every details, very well played with such talented actors. It is a masterpiece. Clearly, it was a show that had been thought of and worked on for a while to be perfect (like no plot holes, no OOC actions, no wasted moments, no pointless moves, no useless lines, etc.). Besides, this show had everything: badass action, fighting scenes, tension, drama (big time), humor sometimes (not often) and emotions (a lot).

However, I think there is a HUGE misunderstanding to what this show is about and an ENORMOUS misconception of why it’s so good and really likeable.

A lot of people I have met IRL, or read online, really loved this show as well. That’s not a surprise. As I’ve said, this show was really good for a lot of reasons and I will never deny that.

But as I was reading them/talking to them IRL, I’ve realised something. They loved Breaking Bad because they loved the story and the character of Walter White. They loved the story of an american middle aged white man, with a normal life, a traditional family and a boring job, becoming this super extra badass who ends up building and controlling a meth empire. Usually, they particularly loved season 3-4 when Walt is supposedly at its greatest moments. They loved Walter White and what he has become: a badass, a smart ass meth dealer, a dominating boss, a good provider for his family... a real man. They loved him as a hero. They loved him as a protagonist who should succeed and get what he wants in the end. They loved him as a character that they were rooting for. They also loved the dream of a normal guy starting off nothing and ending up being the big boss in the game. They loved the idea of having this exciting/dangerous/ illegal/ outlawed/badass “dream life”. Like in an action movie. They loved the fantasy that Breaking Bad exposes.

So here’s the thing... Those people don’t like Breaking Bad. Because that’s not the show. That’s not its point. That’s not its essence. That’s not what it’s trying to show us. That’s not what it’s about. At all.

Obviously, there are multiple interpretations and levels of lecture in a piece of art. And I don’t think some are overall better than others. I think it’s pretty condescending and arrogant to believe there is a “good way” of consuming medias/arts, and a “bad way”. There are just different ways. And that’s great.

However, if you pay attention to the show, for like 10 minutes, it’s pretty clear what it is about.

Breaking Bad is a criticism of Walter White and of this fantasy of a badass action-movie lifestyle. The whole point of the show is basically to say: “Look at that kind of lifestyle society makes you fantasise about, and look how you really don’t want to have it cause it actually sucks. Look at how you DON’T and SHOULDN’T want to become Walter White.”

Walter White isn’t portrayed as a glorious badass mastermind hero by the show. He shouldn’t be read like that. Of course, he is the main protagonist and so, the audience is meant to follow his story. But Walt is first portrayed as a bad guy. Not only like a villain. But as a bad person. Someone you should despise for his personality. Someone who should disgust you. Someone you should hate for who he truly is. Someone you shouldn’t be rooting for. Someone you should quite quickly want dead.

When the show begins, yes, he is portrayed as a normal family man, working a basic job, providing for his family which he seems to care about. But the show already makes it clear that he is a very proud man, who thinks he deserves better than his current life, who thinks he can do better and have better just because. Just cause he is Walter White, a chemistry genius. His world, what he has, doesn’t seem to be enough for him.

(Btw some of my friends argued that Walter White wasn’t such a bad person in the beginning of the show, and that “the meth dealing turned him into an asshole”. While I would agree with that, I also wanna point out that in the beginning of the show, Walt isn’t the greatest person neither... His life is built around a very sexist scheme. He always expects Skyler to do breakfast for him and basically all the housework, because she is his housewife and that’s the way things are supposed to be. We never see him being grateful for what she does. If he’s the only one working, “providing for his family”, it’s more likely because he didn’t want Skyler to. Skyler is a competent woman, she could have found a job with a better income than high school teacher. But I don’t think Walt, fulled with pride, would have accepted to be taken care of by his wife. He wanted to be the alfa male since day one. Because he more likely already had internalised pride, sexism and toxic masculinity and fake virility. We never see him share his true feelings with Skyler. He doesn’t want to look vulnerable. Never. He’s never real with anybody. He refuses to admit that he feels bad about his life and prefers to hide behind a mask, which he will continue to do throughout the show. Because expressing your true feelings to someone who cares about you is not an alfa male move, so Walt rejects this idea. So no, I don’t believe Walter White was such a great person in the beginning. He already was an asshole. He just became waaaaaaaay worse.)

Anyway, then he got diagnosed with cancer. And the money issue appears. If the family pays for Walter’s chemotherapy, they will take a huge risk of bankrupt. They need more money. The family needs more money. But let’s note that Walt’s friends, Eliot and Gretchen, DO propose to pay for his therapy. But Walter refuses, again because of his pride. All the events that follow, all the murders, all the meth dealing, all the horrors, EVERYTHING could have been avoided if Walter White hadn’t decided to be an arrogant jerk and say “suck it” to genuine help.

The money and the (supposedly) rightful idea providing for his family will be Walter’s justifications for ALL his actions during the ENTIRE show (even when his cancer is cured and the family doesn’t necessarily needs this huge amount of money anymore).

The truth is Walt never just wanted the money for chemotherapy or to help his family. He wanted the money because money equals power and influence. And Walt dreamed of power and control over the others. He wanted to be the only one capable of providing, the one everyone else would praise, admire and thank for the rest of his life. He wanted to be a god. Before even cooking his first batch, he already was a narcissist self-centered and arrogant prick, only thinking about his own good.

When he starts to cook meth, it just becomes even worse. The show gets darker, bloodier, more violent. Everything breaks bad, as thev title of the show clearly explicits. Walt finds a new way to express his desire of control, his dream of being finally respected/feared, and the silent violence which he was hidding inside of him.

(I think Walt somehow wants to turn the symbolic violence he was victim of (not being manly enough, especially compared to his brother-in-law, Hank who kinda bullies him in the beginning of the show) into a physical violence he is now in control of).

He then becomes a monster, who is capable of the most cruel, creepy, insane actions to get what he wants. He completely looses sense of reality. If we sum up what he did: he started cooking meth, he missed his daughter’s birth because of the meth dealing, he lied to everybody who cared about him, he tricked his DEA agent brother-in-law Hank, he mentally abused and manipulated Jesse to make him his puppet, he provoked Hank’s accident paralysing him for a while, he turned Junior against Skyler, he abused Skyler and made her part of his business letting her no other choice, he killed Gus’s men, he disolved murdered bodies in acid, he let Jane died while he could have saved her, he made Jesse kill Gale, he blew up a old people’s house killing Gus and hurting multiple innocents, he told nazis where Andrea lived and therefore caused her death, he ordered killings in prison, he blackmailed Hank with a fake confession video, he kidnapped Holly, he caused Hank and Gomez’s deaths, he killed Krazy8, he killed Mike, and he poisoned a child.

And the show makes it pretty clear that it’s not sane, that NONE of this is cool/badass, that it’s just miserable actions provoked by a desperate man, that it will just bring him sadness, loneliness, loss, misery and disfurtune, that Walt slowly but surely goes down this path of destruction and cruelty and that he will never come back. That what he once had (a family who loved and respected him, friends who cared about him, friendly neighbors, a stable job which had always been enough to provide for the family, a beautiful house, a great life, really) will be gone forever. And he will never get all of that back. Even if Walt just realises that in the final episodes.

His problematic lack of trust (even towards Jesse who never betrayed him!), his egocentric paranoia (the fact that he always thinks he is the center of some sort of conspiracy in the meth empire, despite the fact that it is a huge business and he is just not alone in this), his insane quest of power (the fact that he is never happy with what he has and always wants to extend his market/to extend his influence) and his huge PRIDE will always and constantly lead him to making huge mistakes and screwing up everything, making everything way worse. Walt is often the cause of his own failures.

But rather than learning from his mistakes, grow up and adapt, those mistakes just reinforce his beliefs, his fears, his desires, and justifies somehow even more his further actions. Walt is stuck in a vicious circle that, you know already from season 1-2, will lead him towards his end.

Everytime Walt tries something, he fails. He is not a badass mastermind meth dealer. He takes a lot of stupid decisions because he is too impulsive and doesn’t know how things really work in the real life. There is plenty of things he doesn’t know, even if he never admits it. He always have more competent person around him to do the job. Sure he cooks meth better than anybody else (except maybe Jesse in season 5), but meth dealing isn’t just cooking. Without Jesse, without Gus, without Mike, Walt would have never been Heisenberg.

Relying on other isn’t a bad thing (on the contrary), but that’s not what Walt does. Walt USES people. He manipulates them, he mentally ABUSES them, destroys their self esteem, threatens them, makes them believe they have no other choices but to order him. He did that with Jesse (big time), and also with Skyler for instance. The truth is Walt sucks and he needs others but he always denies it because he doesn’t want to admit that he is vulnerable and lost and that he actually is not “the big boss in the game”.

And whenever he makes a decision by himself (usually to cross someone), he FAILS. Like dramatically. He always puts himself in a position that is worse, usually more dangerous, just because he couldn’t shut up and keep his pride. Yes, sometimes, he also succeeds but it’s then quickly shown that what he thought was a success will turn up against him.

Even when Walt does look badass, it’s during short moments taken apart from big story. Yes, if you take some scenes out of context, Walt looks cool. But if you just take some time to analyse the context, than the scenes loose all its power and Walt appears the way he is inside: powerless, weak, insecure, pathetic.

For instance, when Walter says to his wife “I’m the danger”, it’s not meant to be seen as a badass line (and it has, by many people). It’s pathetic because he has, at that point in the show, lost control in his professional life. So he’s trying to regain control and influence in his private life by terryfing someone who looks weaker than him. He cannot hurt or scare his actual enemies in the meth empire because they are more powerful than him. He is at this point lost, confused and vulnerable. He needs to regain his manhood, his position of power, his role of alfa male. So to do so, he decides to terrify his wife, who is just a normal person and doesn’t know the meth world (and so, who has to take anything Walt says for granted). He’s like a bully, in school, attacking the weakest because they are in quest of manhood and influence. And we know bullies are actually the most insecure kids.

Besides, when Walt fails, he doesn’t even admit he screwed up, says sorry and learns from his mistakes. He denies he made a mistake and takes the blame on others. That’s, again, profoundly PATHETIC. He lies to everyone. While he claims that he doesn’t want anybody’s pity, he keeps lying to make it look like he was just the victim of unfortunate events against him. That’s why Walt isn’t even a good likeable villain. He denies what he truly wants (money, power, control, sense of manhood...), he hides behind a fake justification, and he doesn’t realise or admit that his means are deeply cruel (murder, mental abuse, meth dealing, child poisoning, lying, bloodbath assassinations...). Even if he has convinced himself he’s doing all of this for a good reason (provide for his family), it’s like he is not aware of the monstrosity of his actions. He never admits he has become a merciless monster. Not to his family, not to his wife, not to his partners in crime. Most villains would say: “I believe what I do is fair and justified, but to do so, I have to become a monster and do unspeakable things and that’s what I’m gonna do”. But Walt doesn’t.

(Walt would probably say something like “I’m a good person, I want to help my family which totally explains all my actions which weren’t even THAT bad if you look at it a certain way and there was no other choice anyway, I’m just a victim, but I’m still powerful, but I had to, but I’m in control.” And honestly? UGH.)

Walt is a looser, who tries to hide the fact that he sucks. He is not a badass, or a mastermind. He’s mostly scared, pathetic and lost. Breaking Bad always show us that. Breaking Bad is about the fail and the path towards the end of Walter White. It’s about Walt becoming worse and worse, but not by doing things more and more illegal/horrible. He’s becoming worse and worse as a person. More pathetic as the show evolves. More miserable. More lost. More desperate. And he ends up with NOTHING.

Walter White looses everything. His friends are so terrified of him that they don’t want to have any contact with him. His wife completely despise him. His son is ashamed and disgusted of him. His daughter will grow up without a father. His former associates are mostly dead. His partner, Jesse, hates him and runs away from him. Walt dies alone, abandonned by everyone, knowing nobody will miss him and that he has failed to do what he first wanted (take care of his family), that the person he once was, who had a great life actually, is gone.

The show makes it very clear that following Walter’s path is not something cool. It’s not something you should want or dream about. Because in your fantasy, the meth business is badass and cool and fun. But in reality, it’s difficult, horrifying, dangerous and life-ruining. The point of the show is to stay: Walt got stuck in this because he was, and always had been, a proud, narcissist and pathetic person and he has LOST everything when he tried to be the badass he never was.

This fictional lifestyle, based on pride, toxic masculinity and badass action fantasy, that is nourished by a lot of fictions and medias that we consume, is BAD (hence the title). The show criticises it over and over again.

And in my opinion, that’s why it’s so good. The show doesn’t glorify what society already praises to be the dream. It questions it, it shows us its true nature, and criticises it. At the end, Breaking Bad isn’t just a badass exciting action-movie turned into a serie (it would have been quite boring if it was). It’s more than that. It tells a story about us as human, as people, and it deconstructs a fantasy we all have had at some point. And it does it perfectly. So I really loved this show, but it saddened me to see so many people having this misunderstanding about what the show was trying to say.