#yeah. the culture of that high school is just awful.

[britneyshakespeare]

i might seem like just a mentally ill eccentric. but deep down i care about the children

[ghostchems]

infernal - terzo x f!reader - part five

art by the incredibly talented @piaart!

author’s note: finally have this finished but man is it hard to be satisfied. i keep wanting to work on it and work on it but i also really wanted to get this out! also don't even know if this is good teehee. lots of awkward here. 4.9k words. part one/two/three/four. ao3 linky.

The date is going surprisingly well. You chose an Italian spot (ha!) and have had your fill of lobster ravioli and Cabernet Sauvignon all while you learned more about Dylan since he graduated high school. Went to a state school in the middle of bumblefuck, drank and drank some more, got overly into the college culture (emphasis on cult) and tipped a few cows in his time. It aligns perfectly with the slivers of information Catherine gave you through the years, though he’s mentioned nothing of the steady college girlfriend he supposedly had. Interesting. You laugh at his dumb jokes. You’re smiley. But it does feel like an act that’s partially fueled by alcohol and having someone’s attention on you.

He’s still talking but you’re admiring his small, button nose, how his brunette locks shape his face and his bright smile. You can’t help but think his face is a little too smooth, though. Has this boy been through anything meaningful? Has he suffered at all in his shiny little life? Your mind drifts back to Terzo’s rough hands and how they felt on you earlier that day. He forced you to your knees and it was clear that it wasn’t the first time he’s done so. You can still taste him on your tongue.

“You haven’t told me about your job! Aren’t you like an assistant?” Dylan snaps you out of it and you offer a shy smile.

“Yeah! I had to get out of that call center, man. It was like draining my life force. Not that this isn’t difficult but it’s nice to not be yelled at by some rando on the phone for hours a day.” You toy with your glass of wine.

“So, like what do you assist in? Is it just you?”

Huh. You’ve never really explained exactly what you do to anyone. Not even Catherine or Erica — you only really focused on Him. That won’t go over too well in this situation, will it?

“It’s just me and it’s mainly house maintenance right now. My boss’ place was a disaster when I started.” Perhaps the most watered down description of your job.

“So you’re like… you’ve cleaned it up?” There’s judgment in his voice that’s immediately sobering. He stares at you blankly.

“I guess I meant more like projects. The last big one was fixing up his yard. I had to manage the budget and scheduling of the landscapers and stuff.” Your voice is flat.

“Oh, okay gotcha.” Dylan nods and he is back to smiling. You’re seething on the inside. Was your answer acceptable to him? “What’s your boss like? Is he a guy?”

What the.

“Yeah, he’s a guy. He’s a little weird. Definitely eccentric. I’ve tried not to pry too much into his personal life, you know. Boundaries and all that, but when I first started he had me sort out some of his things and it looked like he used to be the lead singer in a band.” Another oddly phrased question. At least now you’ve been prompted to bring up the man you haven’t been able to stop thinking about.

“Oh, shit! That sounds awesome! What band?”

Oh, do you hesitate. A long silence stretches between you two.

“I’m… I’m not sure I should say. I don’t want to blow up his spot or anything.” You’re sheepish suddenly and Dylan notices.

“Aw, come on. Who am I gonna tell?” A good question. You drum your fingers on the table, thinking about how you’ve never really told anyone who your boss actually is.

“Catherine will tell me if she finds out.” A warning, last one until the big reveal. Dylan nods enthusiastically, some of his hairs falling into his forehead. For a split second you think that maybe if you were younger with much less life experience perhaps he would be perfect for you. But you know too much and you know that he wouldn’t be able to give you what you want. “It was Ghost.”

“Oh.” He makes a face and leans back in his chair.

“Oh? Sorry, is that not impressive enough?”

“No, no. It’s still cool. They’re just… I don’t know.”

Do you continue this conversation? Do you care what he thinks? You don’t…but your curiosity gets the better of you.

“What is it, Dylan? Are they lame? I’ve tried to… you know, not dig too deep into it because I feel like that would affect my professionalism.” That and you didn’t want to completely pry into the man’s life.

“Oh, I get that. Uhhh, I mean they’re not REALLY metal. They say they’re metal but they’re not so it’s just a little weird.” He shrugs and crosses his arms. You knit your brows together because you have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about.

“Right. Okay.”

“Yeah, I mean, they are basically like pop. Not metal, not at all.” He sounds so impassioned and you nod along but it feels inappropriate. Why is he so pressed? It turns you off even more and you do everything in your power to get this date wrapped up. You are done drinking and you’re too full for dessert. Responses shorten and eventually you’re out front on the sidewalk waiting for an Uber. Dylan has insisted on waiting with you and hovers just a bit too closely by your side. He seems a little oblivious to how this date has gone, bless his heart.

“Well, this is me.” Awkward, so awkward. You move to get into the car but Dylan stops you by your arm and leans in for a kiss. It’s truly over before it starts, a quick peck before he pulls away with a smirk. You are dying on the inside.

“We’ll hang out again soon, yeah?”

“Sure. Yes.” You lie and hurry into the Uber, wanting nothing more than this wretched day to finally end.

Terzo blinks awake. The cool air of the night pricks his cheeks. Leaves crunch beneath his soggy socks. He coughs, blood spilling from his mouth and splattering on his thick chest hair. A robe hangs loosely from his shoulders. Terzo’s eyes drift down to his hand to see he’s wearing his black gloves with sharp, golden nails. He squints and there’s something black stuck to one of the points. Gaze drifts to where he is. His driveway. A breeze rolls by that sends shivers down his spine as his eyes focus on your car.

He’s slashed one of your tires.

Terzo cackles wildly upon this realization. This is new even for him and his weird, otherworldly tendencies. Could be straight up mental illness. He takes a few lumbering steps forward before crouching to eye the tire, surveying the damage. Completely shredded with the rim touching the ground. There’s a familiar buzzing in his skull, a buzz that he used to get while performing. How far he had fallen. Still, he’s delighted with himself. A fitting punishment for the way you crushed him earlier. What hubris you had for leaving your car on his property. Rage shoots through him for a quick moment, the thought of you spending the night with your date crossing his mind. Would this boy drop you off in the morning? He could plan for that.

In his fits of unsatisfying sleep, ideas for being cruel sprang to his mind. He’s settled on ignoring you for most of tomorrow, to have you toil away waiting for any kind of attention but to no avail. Terzo would be watching you the whole day, of course, hidden away in dark corners and peering down from atop the grand staircase. He has always been the best at sneaking around undetected out of all of his brothers, having avoided so many moments where his father could have reamed him out due to this expertise. Primo and Secondo weren’t so lucky.

Sharp pang in his chest from thinking about them.

No, no. He must focus on you. He pushes the thoughts back to the void. You’ll be trapped here at the end of your workday because of this, wouldn’t you? That’s when he’ll reveal himself. He’ll torture you. Tease the information of your date out of you.

How well could it have gone when you are so devoted to him?

The house is cold without him, a shiver running down your spine every time you found yourself in a dark corridor. You try to keep your thoughts to a minimum and are somewhat thankful that the contractor was able to come today. He’s a quiet man but seems to enjoy your cheerfulness which breathes life into an otherwise miserable day. Between directions and answering questions, you would wander the first floor and hover by the stairs, listening for any signs of life only to hear silence. The last time you saw him flits through your mind — the pressure of the hand on your neck that forced you to the ground seconds after he angrily spat in your face seconds after he kissed you. What the hell. You should be furious at him for treating you that way, for leaping over the carefully placed boundaries the two of you have been dancing around for weeks.

But instead you sigh dreamily. You burn for him. Cheeks grow hot just from thinking about his rough hands on you. You hope he’s okay. And you’re sure he is, he’s a big boy.

The fact that you’re more worried about his feelings than you are about potentially losing your job over this is not lost on you. You’ve lived in constant fear of getting fired over the smallest mistakes since the start of this job but you are oddly calm about this situation. This feels like a natural progression. There was going to be a time where you had to confront this strange connection and you would rather it happen sooner rather than later with the way things have been going. As painful as it would be (emotionally AND financially) to say goodbye to him maybe it would be best for it be sooner rather than later.

The day goes by at a painfully slow pace with no sign of him. Anxiety builds and builds as you watch your clock tick down on your phone. You’ve taken to painstakingly wiping down every single mirror on the first floor (there is an absurd amount of them) because it takes up time and gives you something to focus one. After a while interacting with the contractor becomes painful for you, too heightened to be able to function in a normal social setting. You send him home early with a smile, being Friday and all, and you continue carrying out your mirror mission. This takes you to around 4:30 at which point you say “fuck it” and decide it’s time for bed! What is the point of even being here anymore when you could be under your comforter with a pint of chocolate chip ice cream as you ponder your existence?

It was an easy decision.

You meander out the front door, making sure not to slam it shut but have it at least be somewhat loud to announce your exit. Yes, you are stooping that low. A quick wave of relief washes over you because you made it. The day is over and while the issue looms you are at least out of his domain. Car keys jingle in your pocket. You make quick work of the walk from the porch to your car until the state of your tire stops you in your tracks.

“Oh my god!” You’re in disbelief. It’s like an animal chewed through the rubber. Your rim is on the ground. Tears start to well up in your eyes. This is it. This is the thing that’s pushed you over the edge today. A frustrated screech bubbles up your chest.

“Come back inside.”

You freeze as soon as you hear his voice. Spinning on heel, you turn to face him. He’s standing with his arms crossed, leaning against a column on the porch. His dress shirt is the darkest black you’ve ever seen, partially unbuttoned to show off thick chest hair and cut slacks show off his strong thighs. Did he get dressed up for you? His paint is crisp and hair is slicked back neatly. Fuck, he looks good*.*

“I can get an Uber?” A question as if you’re asking him permission, taking a few tentative steps towards him.

“Hmmm. No. I’ll call you a driver.” A rough response but you can’t help but feel warmth blossom in the pit of your stomach. “Get back inside.” Terzo growls, his gaze stern and pointed. He leaves you alone in his front yard. You feel silly by how hard your heart hammers in your chest but this is what you’ve been wanting all day. A moment passes by and you work up your courage to go inside and take your punishment. Thoughts of your shredded tire fade.

You walk inside the foyer and follow the sound of clinking glasses, finding him at the bar in the den. Terzo’s gaze falls to you then he directs you to the couch with his eyes. You silently follow the order and sit on one of the couch cushions furthest away from him. There’s a lump in your throat, fidgeting with your hands as you wait for him to join you. Eventually he turns around to face you with two drinks in his hand, one a red martini with a lime green umbrella and the other a pint full of something gross looking - not beer but still brown? His face is blank and you try to match his energy but it’s hard to keep your blush at bay. You reach out to take the martini from him but he pulls it back out of your grasp and instead presses the pint into your hand. The smell fills your nostrils: whiskey. Yuck. He runs a hand through his hair as he takes a seat on the other side of the couch, allowing for plenty of space between you two.

“You’ve called the driver already, right?”

“Yes.” He rolls his eyes but you’re still not sure you believe him.

Terzo’s arm stretches across the back of the couch, gloves just brushing your shoulder. Your grip on your whiskey tightens. This isn’t his usual charming aloofness, there’s something cold and cruel bubbling beneath the surface. Still, you want nothing more than to speak to him, even if he’s obviously pissed at you. He lifts his other hand up to his face, admiring the sharp golden nails adorned to his leather gloves. Eyes slowly drag from them to settle on you, gaze so piercing and yet uninterested in you.

“So, you had him pick you up here, si?”

“Yeah, but—“

“Drink.” He points at your glass and narrows his eyes. Not playing around. You do as he says and take a sip. “Keep drinking.” Lip twitches in a faint show of satisfaction as you bring the glass up back to your lips and take a deep gulp. There’s delight in his eyes and you’re more than happy to play the game just to see more of it. Your eyes twitch and you cough once you set the glass, the whiskey burns your throat.

“It was convenient for him.” Words are rough from the sting of alcohol.

“Ohh, was it now?” Terzo growls and digs his nails into the couch, tearing into the fabric. The sound gives you goosebumps. You open your mouth but he’s too quick. “Finish your drink.” He snaps, daggers for eyes that sends a chill down your spine. You swallow thickly and toy with your glass with the tips of your fingers before bringing it back up to your lips. Head tips back, the room swirls and you swallow down the rest of the liquid.

“Gross. Ugh.” Grimacing as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. “It’s less of a drive for him and I’m a pushover, okay?” You sigh, only partially joking. His eyes noticeably soften. You sink deeper into the cushion. “I said yes to this date because it was with my best friend’s older brother who I’ve known forever and I’ve always had a crush on him.” Terzo’s fingers shift from the couch to your shoulder, his nails just short of tearing through your shirt, his anger coming back up to a simmer just below the surface, but you continue on unafraid.

“I had to see what would happen. You have to understand… you build the thing up in your head as something perfect and special but then when you actually actually experience it…” You deflate and you eyes wander away from him, wanting to look anywhere else. “It’s never as good as you imagined it. Plus, he was a garbage kisser.” You immediately regret the words as soon as you say them. They hang heavy in the air and the air catches in your lungs. You feel him shift on the couch but you can’t bring yourself to look until his his hand curls around by back of your neck and forces you to look at him. Eyes sharp like knives.

“You let him kiss you.” A statement, not a question. Terzo makes you watch as he slinks closer to you. There’s like a current coming off of him right now that has you paralyzed even though you so badly want to protest. You whimper, words getting caught in your throat as he reaches for you. He grabs you by your waist with the tips of his claws poking against your skin, that delicious danger teasing you as always. “How did it compare?” Terzo trills, a charming smile with vicious edge. Hoo boy. Blood rushes to your cheeks.

“It didn’t compare at all.” You whisper as you try to sink as far into the couch as possible. Not because you don’t want to be close to him but you’re confused. Everything about this feels like a trap, like one wrong answer could set him alight but you’re not exactly fighting it. Instincts are telling you to run but you stay exactly where you are. Terzo’s hand drift up your sides, suggestively squeezing you in all the right places until he’s holding you by your shoulders. He’s smiling wider than before and there’s glee in his eyes — he’s pleased with you. A torrent of heat shoots through your core. He doesn’t say anything, merely taking in your reactions to his touches. His finger tips glide across your top, nearly clipping right through it until his hands settle around your throat. He squeezes just enough to make you gasp for air, then leans in to you, pressing his forehead against yours. You can feel his hot breath on your lips.

Tease.

“I could hurt you.” Terzo muses against your lips, lashes fluttering and eyes wide. There’s a slight tug at the corner of his mouth. Silence passes comfortably between the both of you as you take in each other’s breaths and warmth.

“I know. I’m… afraid of that. But it’s why I’m here.” You feel drunk, the words just tumbling out of you but you don’t care anymore. He is so close to kissing you that you can nearly taste him but instead he pulls away with a wry smile.

“Your glass is empty.” Terzo snickers and then jumps up in a way that can only be described as cat-like, snatching the glass from your hands. You’re left hot and bothered as he turns his back to you to saunter over to the bar. Alone with your thoughts while you watch him pour you another generous whiskey. Oh no. Oh no. You can still taste it on your tongue and it is not for you. But when he turns around with the warmth and charm you’ve been wanting all doubts are gone. You’re going to be messy tonight and that’s just that. When he turns back to face you he’s at least given you half of what he did the first time, walking slowly over to where you’re sitting on the couch.

He looms over you as your eyes drift up to meet his gaze and he audibly growls. You suck in a sharp breath, your nails digging into the soft flesh of your thighs. Terzo lifts a hand up and brushes his thumb along your jaw before tilting your chin up. He brings the glass to your lips and tips it back. You part your lips, the whiskey burning as it spills down your throat. He continues to pour until you can’t keep up with it and it leaks out of your mouth and down your cheeks. You gasp and he flings the glass down onto the side table as he crushes his mouth against yours, unable to keep away from you any longer.

And you certainly don’t care that he all but purrs into your mouth, soft lips moving against yours. He cups your face with his gloved hands, leather thumbs caressing your cheekbones as he slips onto the couch beside you without breaking the kiss. Fingers curl around his wrist and you press in close to him, losing yourself in how he tastes. His velvety tongue probes your mouth as the kiss grows in intensity. Deep pants try to keep your feet on the ground but you’re off in space, exhaustion and comfort mixing in a way that has you floating. Terzo pulls away from the kiss and you can hardly open your eyes. He gently guides your head to his chest, stroking his fingers through your hair.

“You never called me a driver did you?”

“Oh no. Never considered it.” Terzo squeezes you in his arms.

Oh, he’s so warm. A rumbling groan falls from your lips as his wraps his arms around you, just holding you there. Your limbs relax and you sink deeper into his chest as he starts to rubs up and down your back. In that moment you know you’re a goner. A deep, sleepy sigh falls from your lips and in a matter of minutes you are out cold.

Terzo almost feels guilty for being such an ass. Almost. He feels for you, he can relate to realizing that something isn’t all it was cracked out to be. At least for you it was a childhood crush and not being raised for one person. But still, he was a tad mean wasn’t he? It was necessary and the tension… the tension had been so delicious. Watching you squirm under his intense stare. And you just did what he said, unquestioningly, even when had you drink and drink and drink. Adrenaline is pumping through him and he struggles to contain himself— he must not go any further, despite how tempted he is. He could get away with it. You’re so soft, so pliable and so wanting. Terzo can feel the heat radiating off of you, no doubt from the alcohol and your closeness. He could slip his hand between your thighs and give you exactly what you want.

But it wouldn’t be fair to you. Terzo wants you coherent and focused when he takes you. Plus you’re adorably snuggled against him right now, your soft breaths against his chest. He’s longed for this and you did not disappoint. Wait a minute. Are you sleeping? He is about to fall apart, his arms wrapping so much tighter around you. The urge to keep you safe, to keep you here and never let you leave overcomes him*.* He squeezes your hand that is clutched to his chest and then gingerly picks it up and places it back in your lap.

“Sleepy?”

You lift your heavy head to look at him and good god do you want to be asleep right now. A tender smiles breaks out across his face as he swipes some of your hair from your eyes. A stark contrast from how close he had just been to strangling you.

“Take the guest room tonight, puffetta. I will bring you some clothes.” Terzo pulls himself to his feet. “Meet you up there.” He’s so soft, so different than how torturous he was of you earlier. You’re sure he’s heard what he’s wanted to hear from you but he’s unpredictable. Something you liked about him. There’s an unknown darkness that lies beneath his charm and good looks and it calls out to you. You’ve never felt this way about anyone. How could you ever get away now?

You blink and realize that you’re alone. You’ve been alone. Oh shit. Scrambling off of the couch, you trip over your own feet with the effects of the whiskey hitting you hard.

Ah, the guest room. A cramped space with antique furniture that could use some time and attention. The overall theme of the room is… dust. You’ve brought up having the dresser refinished or even repainted and replacing the peeling wallpaper but it’s low on the list of priorities. You push the door shut and give a soft sigh of relief. Shoes come off. A lamp on the bedside table barely illuminates the room and a folded pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt are waiting for you on the bed. Eyes scan over the remainder of the comforter and pillows, wondering if anyone had ever slept here. You can’t help the feeling that you’re being watched but maybe the fact that you’re about to wear your boss’ clothes isn’t meshing well with the practically decaying room.

“Whatever.” You huff to yourself and undress with the grace of a toddler, kicking your pants off and throwing your removed clothes into a pile on the ground. Sitting down on the bed, you pull up the sweatpants and they are loose as they settle around your waist. The shirt slips over your head and swallows up your upper body. Did he purposely give you his largest clothing to make you feel small? It is so cozy, though. You wrap your arms around your body and flop back onto the bed, sinking into the softness of the blankets. Comfortable heat spreads across your skin from buzz of the alcohol. Limbs go limp and your eyelids grow heavy, a deep sigh falling from your lips. Fading fast.

The piercing ring of the rotary phone cracks through the air and you jolt upright and wide awake. What the? You don’t remember seeing it when you came in and it’s not like it blends in — it’s bright red with intricate black etchings along the base and the handle of the receiver. Not a speck of dust on it. The phone rings again, somehow louder and more harmful to your ears than before. You blink and suddenly you’re standing directly in front of the dresser with one hand curled around the receiver. Heart is pounding in your chest and ears. Something is calling out to you. Answer it. Answer it. Answerit. answeritansweritansweritanswerit.

You pick up the phone to silence. Then chittering. The receiver is hot on your cheek. Something pricks your ear but you can’t pull away. There’s a squelch. A screech. More screaming. It only gets louder and louder, needles in your ears, pain shooting through your brain. You can’t breathe. You twirl the phone cord around your fingers and shuffle your bare feet against the cold floor, the only thing you’re able to get your body to do other than press the phone so hard against your head. The closer you listen to the screams the more familiar they get, growing in intensity, pain and volume. Burning, the receiver is burning now and yet you can’t move, you can’t get any relief. The phone cord is nearly completely tangled around your wrist and you’re sweating, gasping for breath, and crying without even realizing it. The screams finally subside, replaced by a cold, dead silence.

You hang up the phone.

Suddenly, an overwhelming wave of exhaustion washes over you and you collapse onto the bed. The world spins as you sink into the soft mattress, the dial tone still echoing in your ears.

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Sleepy Swap

I absolutely hate family vacations. Don't get me wrong, the vacation part is pretty nice. The fact that I'm with my family is the problem. Each year we go to some new crazy location, which would've been fun if they didn't embarrass me every single moment. Normally it's some dumb place within the states, but this time we're going out of the country. I turned 18 a few months ago and just graduated high school, so my parents thought it was a special occasion. Oh, it's going to be special all right - it's the last time I'll be forced to go with them! As soon as the summer's over, I'm moving across the state for college, and hopefully I'll never see them again! But for now, my parents set their sights on Brazil. I guess that's where they went on their first trip together. But I'd rather go to much cooler countries like France or Japan.

So, arriving in Brazil, we moved through the airport - me, my dad, mom, and little sister. There were so many hot guys and good looking people in general walking through the halls. I wanted to flirt with them so badly! But my parents would probably call the police if I went out of their sight for a single minute. We took a taxi and arrived at our hotel room. I found out that there were only 2 bedrooms - one for my parents and one for my little sister and I. I can't even jerk off in the privacy of my own bedroom anymore! I unpacked my stuff anyway, just as my mom walked into the room.

"Are you hungry, kids?" I hate being called a kid. I'm 18! Nobody seems to understand that I'm a legal adult now!

"Yeah," we both replied.

"How about we visit some of the local places to see some culture?"

"Lame," I said.

"Jackson, YOU are going to go with us and YOU are going to like it!" My mom ordered.

"Fine."

Outside the hotel, my dad arrived with our rental car. We drove through the streets but ended up parking in what looked like the poor part of town. I thought we were going to a nice restaurant?

"What the hell are we doing here?"

"Language, Jackson! This is what I was talking about! What better way to see the local culture than to visit the local marketplace?"

We got out and I looked around. The roads and buildings were all run down and there was a gross scent in the air. The marketplace was thriving anyway, but the people there were all ugly. No hot guys! We bought some kind of pastry, eating it at a nearby table. It tasted awful! When we finished, we all split up to explore the rest of the marketplace; I didn't even bother to look at anything else because I knew I wouldn't find anything good.

I walked down the road and saw an open garage-like area with some people inside. Outside sleeping in a chair, was an obese guy with a belly so big, it hung right out of his blue tank top, and covered his knees entirely! His belly button was so big, you could probably fit an entire fist in there! He was probably the grossest human being I've ever seen in my life! It was guys like that that made me feel at least somewhat grateful that I'm so young and skinny.

I walked right past and suddenly he grabbed my arm. His eyes stayed closed though, so I guess it was some form of sleepwalking. I was disgusted anyway, so I jumped backwards and shouted at him.

"Get away from me you disgusting slob!" 

He stayed asleep even after that. But I definitely needed to wash my arm now. Who knows what kind of diseases he was carrying? I started walking towards a restroom, when I felt like I was being watched. I looked to my right to see a creepy old lady staring at me from between two buildings. She was so hideous, she looked like a witch! I ran inside and quickly washed my hands. I walked out of the bathroom, only to come face to face with the witch lady.

"Ahh! Who are you?"

"You don't like your family do you?" Is she trying to relate to me or something? Gross! I answered her anyway.

"Yeah. So?"

"Would you do anything to get away from them?"

"Yeah I guess. What are you getting at?"

"Nothing. Nothing you need to worry about." Anger rushed to my brain and out my mouth.

"Nothing? You can't just ask about my problems then offer to do nothing! Get out of my face you old hag!" Her smile changed to an angry frown but then back to a smile.

"Very well, you want me to do something? I will do something." She took a piece or chalk and started drawing a circle around my feet.

"What? Are you using your witchy magic or something?" I said, sarcastically. She ignored me and continued. With a full circle of purple chalk around me, she put her hands together and started mumbling something. The circle below me was glowing! Not just that, but I was actually sinking into the ground! Is this some kind of portal? If I could teleport to my college campus that would be great! Even better, a gay bar or somewhere I can freely be myself!

I sunk lower and lower until it was just my head and neck sticking out.  I looked up at her and said "Thank you." For some reason, instead of a friendly smile, it seemed like an evil smirk. As my eyes were about to fully submerge into the ground, I closed them.

When I opened them back up, I was sitting down inside, but was disappointed that the same bad smell was in the air. Looks like she teleported me, but it wasn't very far. I knew that witch was full of shit. I guess I should find my family again; it had been an hour and they were probably worried. I tried to get up but something was wrong. I looked down to see what was keeping me grounded when my heart started thumping extremely fast. Gone was my slim body, which was replaced with an overly large hanging gut. What the fuck happened to me? Is it touching my knees? Wait, I recognize that gut! It can't be! I've turned into that one gross slob! Was this that witch's way of getting revenge?

I didn’t want to, but I felt compelled to touch the gut. Unlike before, he was completely shirtless so the massive hanging blubber was visible for everyone to see. I looked at my huge sausage fingers, and poked it. It jiggled. I took my whole hand and pressed into the flab over and over. My whole belly rippled like a body of water. It was actually kinda fun and felt nice. No, what am I doing? I gotta get my body back.

Trying to get up was the hardest part. I had to summon all my strength in order to force the weight of the gut off of me, and plant my feet on the ground as hard as I possibly could. When I got my ass out of the chair, gravity took hold of my gut and I nearly fell over. Slowly, I got myself back onto my feet.

I couldn't even see the bottom of my gut but I could feel it touching my knees! I grabbed the bottom of it and shook. I stuck my hands between the overhang and my waist, and felt a river of sweat hiding underneath. I swear if I ever get back to my body, I'll never insult any fat guy ever again!

I tried walking back to the same bathroom I was just at, but it was more like a waddle. The gut was swinging back and forth, slapping my knees every time, pain with each slap. My back was killing me too. My entire body ached! How did this guy let himself go this far? I squeezed through the door and saw my face for the first time in the mirror. I had gray hair and silver stubble. I was an old man! My whole face was huge and I had a double chin. This can't be happening. I'm only 18!

I walked out of the bathroom just as my family strolled by. Finally! For once I was happy to see them! It'll be weird but I'm sure they can help me get back to normal somehow. I waddled over, approaching them, and freaked out when I saw…me! There was a college aged guy who looked exactly like me alongside them. Is he the owner of the body I'm in? He must be!

"Hey it's you! You have my body!" Everyone turned around, surprised to see me. My parents narrowed their eyes.

"What? What's this about bodies? Who are you?" My dad demanded.

"Mom, Dad, its me, Jackson! There was a witch that swapped our bodies! That guy isn't me!"

"What? Who do you think you are, talking to my son that way? Get out of here creep!" The guy in my body pretended to be just as confused as they were. That liar! Instead of taking any action, they just walked away, shaking me off as just some homeless creep. They probably assumed I wouldn't be able to catch up to them…and they were right. I felt exhausted already, but managed to shout one last sentence at them.

"Wait c-come back! I'm sorry! I'll never complain about vacations again!" The guy who stole my body turned his head around and gave an evil smirk at me. I looked to my right to see the witch again.

"You wanted to be away from them and your wish was granted. Here, you might want this." She tossed me what looked like a shirt, but it was huge. "Paolo gets especially lazy sometimes and doesn't feel like putting on a shirt. You'll get used to it, but here's one just in case."

I wanted to argue but I couldn’t. I just…gave up. I was feeling tired so I slipped the shirt on, pulling it as far over my belly as I could, and waddled over back to the garage area. My knees were killing me at this point so I stood next to the chair I was sitting on earlier, rotated myself, and firmly plopped onto it. All the pain went away and I started feeling drowsy. I rolled up the shirt a little and stuck my finger inside my belly button, playing with it. Am I getting hard? I shouldn't be so turned on but I am! I then pressed my belly in, seeing and feeling the ripples until I finally fell asleep. Haha…Maybe this won't be so bad afterall. I'm finally away from my family, and I can just sleep the day away…everyday…

[biggie-chcese]

rain code age headcanons because i have literally only ever been choosing ages based on what's funniest but now i wanna cast away my grand layers of irony and be genuine for a moment. also. this goes pretty in depth so be prepped for the long haul when you click read more lmao.

spoilers for the whole game below and it's because of one specific character iykyk

Yakou - this man has the soul of a guy in his late 40s going through what would be his midlife crisis if not for the fact that he's fully aware he passed the midpoint years ago. but that soul is trapped in the body of a guy who doesnt look a day older than 28. what moisturizer does he use? i doubt he even uses anything other than that 13 in 1 shampoo. anyway, i think he's 32.

Halara - 26. nothing really to justify this other than they've got that mid 20s swag but 25 didn't feel right. adult enough to be as competent as they are yet young enough to look like that. moving on.

Desuhiko - 19. i think he's the youngest of the NDA because. well. idk man have you read his dialogue? he's got a whole lot of growing to do and is still very lost on his direction in life. he's giving 'bitch fresh outta high school (or in this case, detective training) and relishing in his freshly obtained freedom."

Vivia - 28? yeah i got nothing for this i am going purely on vibes here. 28 just feels right.

Fubuki - 23. she's clearly still a bit young but is also clearly a grown ass adult who wasn't raised right so i think this makes for a happy medium, especially if she's already been on some worldwide adventures n shit before the game. works out quite swimmingly methinks.

Kurumi - 18. for my personal comfort bc we'll get to yuma later but im not gonna sit here and ignore the way the game constantly grovels at the audience's feet to ship them so id rather she not be any younger than this. anyway, more about her: she tends to hold her own as an informant with more competence, maturity, and effecience than most of the NDA. but she also has a pretty childish black and white view on things, like believing her beloved detectives are always right (girl if you were real you would be ENTRENCHED in stan culture oml do NOT get into minecraft youtubers) but i've... seen 18 year olds on the internet that are exactly the same so whatever

Aetheria girls - putting them all at 17-18 because, based on honorifics, they are treated as upperclassmen by their peers in the Japanese dub. i think waruna is the youngest and kurane is the eldest.

Yomi - 25. he has that vibe. old enough to be taken seriously as an adult but young enough to act like That™. yknow?

Martina - 32. she's giving older woman sexy librarian vibes and generally carries herself with a certain level of poise and maturity but is also a freak in a way that can best be explained by being a woman in her 30s. not elaborating on this

Swank - 41. to me he's like those awful surly businessmen who go to cabaret clubs to drink and smoke their office job woes away and cheat on their wives. but he also has extreme mafia boss swag about it so i kinda love him for that. dunno what this has to do with age tho. moving on.

Seth - 22 because he's giving youngest brother. i think he's the youngest of the peacekeepers in general. guillaume definitely bullies him about this.

Dominic - 34. bro is built like a jojo character what else do you want me to say. he's still got that youthfulness about him that makes me think he's still not going through his midlife crisis, so i wouldn't place him any older

Guillaume - 23. guillaume is so girlypop manic pixie dream girl core that she's definitely got the energy of someone who is young but also strikes the balance of being someone who has a job and a mortgage. dunno how she does it. id like to think she isnt even much older than seth but still bullies him for being the baby of the peacekeepers. do u understand my vision. please. they have so much annoying coworker potential.

shinigami - idk like 1000. she's a death god who cares.

yuma - okay. yeah. look i dont give a singular fuck about age discourse- headcanon whatever you want- but from looking at canon material i genuinely think that he could not possibly be any younger than 21. 20 if we wanna push it. yes, i know he looks young. i have eyes. but also, im in my 20s and the most common thing people tell me when i reveal my age is "oh, i thought you were 15." one time a person asked me if i was 12. at my job. that i was actively working at. i was 20. adults can look young, and contrary to the classic 1000 year old loli dragon trope he doesnt act overtly childish. he acts like a normal fuckin guy. yes he cries but like. you wouldn't in his position? bro speedruns lifelong trauma so skillfully that he's backwards long jumping into alternate universes where everything is somehow worse. i'd be freaked out if he didn't cry. also im aware that the child prodigy detective trope is a thing and that kodaka has written that before but... he was number one three years ago. and the training takes two years. which means, if he is a minor in the game's present day, he started working at the WDO at 12 and became number one at 14... at the oldest. have you ever met a 14 year old? forgive me for not suspending my disbelief here. and really the kicker for me is that yuma has a line where he says he's not sure if he's drinking age (which would be 20 in japan), but you know who would be sure? you know who knows yuma's age better than yuma?

makoto kagutsuchi - this megacorporation CEO has a fully stocked minibar installed in his penthouse. <- sentence i cannot bring myself to believe if it's about a child. since i also cant picture him becoming CEO at age 14 without yomi at least once angrily pointing that out (he only ever mentions that makoto is an outsider, or has his head in the clouds), id like to think both him and yuma, at their youngest, earned their top spots at their respective organizations at 18. it keeps their gifted kid syndrome and young prodigy-ness without making things comically ridiculous or uncomfortable for the sheer amount of sexual situations yuma gets put into.

anyway that's my silly little ramble on age headcanons. this was actually really fun to think about. shoutout to kodaka for leaving out the ages. funniest choice he could've made

[volivolition]

Your tags in my notes give me life every time 🙏🙏thank you so much!

I would love to hear your thoughts on what might happen to Esprit post-RCM!! And yeah poor electrochem... I think it was meant for the little daily dopamine highs of life, the good food and new experiences and cute cats, but it's been hijacked by addiction into something best ignored :((

!! YESS omg of course, you make such good art AND writing i have gotta pay my respects!! hgkjh delighted to see your DE fanworks always :3 <33

!! HELL YES I WOULD LOVE TO SHARE, and its so cool to have that echem mention because it's a really good parallel: YES!! Electrochemistry is made to take care of general mesolimbic system reports and for lil everyday happy dopamine moments, little treats and smiles from kim hkjhg but it gets fucked up by addiction because HOLY SHIT life is AWFUL and DEPRESSING and surely drugs and alcohol will save us!! :')

AND SIMILARLY!! i think Esprit De Corps (literally Group Spirit or team spirit) is originally meant to be a skill of Community and Belonging, but gets fucked up by the RCM!! more under cut because this is LONG hgkjh

in my headcanons, Esprit is the youngest skill to form, but it wasn't as late as the RCM. Originally, I think that Esprit was made for the kinship Harry felt for the The Fifteenth Indotribe. Harry and seven other kids, running together as a group of friends causing trouble, this was Harry's first sense of belonging somewhere. Pretty low level and not as psychically linked, just happy to feel connected to people. When the indotribe eventually fell apart, Esprit was left fractured and dormant for a while as Harry drifted from having a sense of community. Esprit for real, at this point in time, Esprit is a ghost of a fury, low level and barely tangible.

(The thing holding them together was their attachment to the other skills, because at least they're still part of a group that way, even if Harry wasn't. Friends with Empathy, a part of the psyches, one of the 24 skills. If Esprit lacked those bonds with the other furies, its likely they would have faded entirely.)

Then Harry became a gym teacher, and Esprit returns as Esprit L'école (School Spirit :3) which helps him communicate with school staff, faculty and students. And Harry cares about this new community dearly. Deeply tender at heart, Harry loves the kids in his classes and finds camaraderie with his coworkers and wants the best for this school. Not just the best gym teacher, he's one of the best teachers in general. He puts his everything into this school, and Esprit L'école thrives in this new environment for several years.

Then they meet Dora, and shit gets fucked!! Dora convinces Harry to join the RCM, and Esprit fractures further. Unlike the Fifteenth Indotribe or the Grand Couron High School, this isn't something he finds community in. I mean, they think they do at first. The RCM is meant to help the community, right? Surely working here will bolster Esprit? But y'know how it goes, RCM culture is harsh and immoral and corrupted at its heart, for the scarce good they can do, there is so, so much bad for the community and god Esprit is hurting.

...but this is for Dora, and trying to put a bandage on a dying relationship, so Esprit De Corps forces it. Forces themselves to lean hard into the kinship with cops and to fit into police culture and conform to RCM standards, forces himself to be The Cop Skill. All of the skills at this point are going into overdrive as well, Volition tries to focus on hard work in hopes that it will pay off in the long run, Empathy tries to make himself smaller so he's not in the way, Echem is RUNNING OUT OF DOPAMINE and oh hey, this speed shit makes us a better cop, I'll take it!! dear god, the RCM is fucking over ALL THE SKILLS, everyone is struggling at this point.

And Dora leaves. Harry suffers, and so do the skills, and trying to distract from it, they just launch themselves HARDER into the RCM shit. nothing else to live for, to do, throw all reluctance to the wind, work yourself to the brink of death. 18 total years of service, 216 cases, above 90% of officers in the entire RCM, a Lieutenant Double-Yefreitor. Renowned and accomplished; this is not the community Esprit De Corps loves, but it is the one he's entrenched in, and nothing, not even amnesia, can detach him from this.

Until they quit.

honestly ive seen like! a few fics where harry quits the RCM, and always thought, "oh hey nice acab :] ...HEY WAIT WHAT'S ESPRIT DOING." so i made a fic, because a LOT of my fics are focused on the skills side of things. the humans are no longer my priority, i am a skills lover and my fucking god i gotta make my own food around here [gestures at several in-progress pasta bakes and cake batters and salad ingredients because EVERYTHING IS WIPS]

there was a first concept that was just like "DOES ESPRIT JUST DISAPPEAR???" which would have been TRAGIC and i could've made a whole cool thing about it but im alrEADY WORKING ON SEVERAL MULTI-CHAPTERS HKJHG and that's not how skills work in my canon <3

so my fic is a oneshot called "Who Are You, If Not..." because when you've made your whole life one thing and that thing gets taken away from you, who do you become? and its not very plot heavy, it's just a late-night conversation between the psyche skills.

here's a snippet from while i was working on the coding hkgjh

(since i write a lot of skills, i have this style where i put all skill actions in the [check] color and leave dialogue in white, which is a little restrictive to work with but i like how it turns out <33)

to lose a group you attached yourself to, even if they were bad for you, even if everything about it sucked. but you keep checking in, you keep instinctively going back because at least it was something. ough... i think it's scary for them, yknow? he's losing touch with what he based his existence around, and he knows its for the better, but it's... complicated hkjgh

ANYWAY THOSE ARE MY ESPRIT THOUGHTS HKJHG <33 thank you for reading if you did!! i LOVE the concept of esprit being more than just the cop skill, he's the skill of community to me!! hkjhg yay :]

[deuterium51614]

Boueibu Rewatch Part 7

The migraine I had earlier today subsided after a nap, so I was able to binge all three episodes!

Episode Seven

Chri-pa... Aw, man. So we back in--

"Christmas Eve is coming, so why don't we hold a Chri-pa?" and the reason for this is the card from the council. The party is held on Christmas Eve itself. Later, En says "Yeah, they sent it to the Defense Club yesterday." (They were in school the day before Christmas Eve?) So En's "I've been thinking about..." was super spur-of-the-moment lol

Also, En is hot in his Christmas/New Year's outfit.

The twins' Christmas song is iconic.

The whole thing about going to the hotel room was just... What?

With the little Wombat Yumoto made from Wombat's fur, all I can think of is the sweater from Spongebob "It's itchy, what's this thing made out of?" "Eyelashes!"

The Reindeer Monster had said "you only complain about your food getting to you cold" or something like that, and then Ryuu and Io comment that the noodles are soggy. They learned nothing lol

So what's the consensus on Hitori turning back? Was it the work of the Battle Lovers or Santa? (Also: Santa canonically exists in this universe. Someone needs to do something with that, like the Battle Lovers team up with him. Or a Nightmare Before Christmas-adjacent thing where S1 Caerula Adamas (no reveal AU) kidnaps him as part of their plan to conquer the Earth.)

Episode Eight

En brings up how they had plans to go skiiing, but ended up not going. Meanwhile, my mom has a fic that predates this where they did go skiing. And like this episode, it also involves getting snowed in. (Specifically En and Kinshirou.) Man, I need to reread her fics one of these days...

I remember there being a theory that the twins' dad was being controlled similarly to Tawarayama. Now that I'm looking again, isn't it weird that they gave him such a plain design? At least give him the same hair color as the twins!

Can't help but wonder about Kinshirou's opinion of Shin (and Munakata) staying at Binan High School as students.

Oh, and you see that I wrote "Shin" up there for the snowman guy's name? It's because his name is not "Jinzou Makoto" but "Nitou Shin" according to the Boueibu website. Also, his bio refers to him as an "OB" which I looked up and it's "old boy" or "alumnus," so is he even still a student at the high school? I feel like we assumed he is because the twins call him "senpai," and because it was established with Munakata that they seem to be lax about graduation? The subtitles say "Yes, we're students at Binan High School, just like you," but what is actually being said??

Because can you imagine. You graduated from high school years ago. You've spent five years trying and failing to get into art college. On New Year's Eve, you walk out of cram school and these two teenage twins that you've never seen before say they're from your alma mater and mock you for your failings. They turn you into a snowman. You fail at being a snowman. You're given a motivational speech. You get turned back into a human. You go to a shrine on New Year's Day. The twins appear again and transform in front of five other high schoolers, who have no reaction. Like what do you do with your life?

Episode Nine

The Defense Club literally did nothing for a month and a half after the twins revealed themselves. Like imagine if the cultural festival happened earlier in season one, but there was no Dark Aurite and instead for the rest of the season the Defense Club and council were Aware™️of each other being their enemies.

Also don't think I ever noticed, but En's reading an Oden magazine.

Why did Goura react the way he did to Yumoto saying the twins are "Galaxy Idols"? That shouldn't really have significance to him, unless I'm forgetting something, right? Maybe his enemies had that title, and the twins were inspired by it? (And Dadacha and Zundar got them the rights to it because it was cheap after CIDE failed?)

There are eight or nine chocolates in each box (flower might be covering a ninth). The intention was to animate him eating the whole box, but I think it looks like Yumoto only ate three or four? (Kinda looks like two might be stuck together.) (I wrote this before looking again and seeing the empty box showing he ate all of them, oops...)

Anyway, my counting is just a way to imply that there's a lot of chocolate left over in the other boxes. What if someone (En) just put it off to the side (in the unused council room) to throw out for later instead of just tossing it immediately. Or hey, he noticed Yumoto reacted to it like it was spicy and he wanted to try it? (The council comes back from their trip, and Ibushi pairs them with tea.)

Also, En picked one of the chocolates up. Imagine if he just ate it instead of asking what they should do with them.

I love Io's reactions this episode the best out of everyone's. Not sure if it's because I ship him and Yumoto, or if that led to it.

En's running the fastest we've ever seen him lol

Is there an animation error with Dadacha's tail? Looks like the shadow cut it off when it goes to the left.

"Gee VEPPer! How come staff lets you have two transformations?" (At least they used a different verse for the second one.)

Dadacha doesn't even have to touch someone to transform them into a monster. Though maybe the chairs are acting as a conduit?

Yumoto cuddling his Lovracelet is cute!!

That run when Yumoto's beckoning the monsters laksdjfa

Also, flashbacks to S1E3's "Come on! Give me hug!" when he said "Come on!"

"My wellspring of love never stops gushing!" "Is it okay to let this happen?" "It would be hard to take them all alone..." "A drop of love for each of you!" "I wonder where he learned that." "Go flying, Love Sprinkle!" I no longer feel bad about my fic's line "I'm going to shoot a load of love into your heart!"

"We cannot ignore them!" *continues to ignore them*

[catgirlforeskin]

This may border on victimblaming, but most of stories about how someone was "groomed" online that I saw (I didn't research it, mind you, just what crossed my dashboard) read to me as "I am a total dumbass who doesn't have common sense and I am going to blame everyone for this".

Like older* guy on forum who talks about how you being offline makes him want to kill himself is not a good man, and neither are any other kinds of "online groomers", but literally nothing about technology makes them more dangerous.

(*Assuming that he is in fact older, I also was "in my early 30s" online since I was 12, but that's not that important because him living who the fuck knows where makes any actual power imbalance irrelevant, and teenagers are very much capable of being cruel and manipulative).

In fact, online interactions are way safer for kids because they fucking can close the tab and forget about everything that happened. Restrictions on children's access to internet doesn't help them. I am not even going to talk about how abusive families can be - outside of home is also not that safe, and people actually may have power over you. In my high school there were rumours about certain teachers sleeping with certain students. I don't know were they true, but I myself was present when one of our teachers went on a discussion about how it's better for schoolgirls to date college students and graduates to "get better experience". People who live close to you may be very gross and bigoted, in fact there is someone close to you and bigoted. Slightly older people can tell about absolutely awful culture of teen neighborhood groups (idk if there was something like that in USA but that's when people of one urban neighborhood hang out together purely because they live close by).

Mind you, I grew up on my local equivalent of 4chan, and while I don't think that it was good for me, the grossest experiences I had were all IRL. Yes, some of those anons may be totally inhuman, but I didn't have to listen to their bullshit, while IRL I had not only to listen but to politely agree, or the middle aged man with ego of a toddler and the middle aged woman who believes in every conspiracy on Earth and the teenage boy who thinks that he is the protagonist of life will be offended, and I am a good kid so I shouldn't make them sad :(

P.S.: Anecdotally, "normie" online places felt way grosser than imageboards. Part of it may be because it was before Trump ruined online everywhere, part of it that those "normie" online places were not as normal as they liked to pretend, but I think that the correct answer is that 4chan is not some malicious entity that corrupts our world, not even really marginal group - it's just content of middle class cranium without flattering makeup of civility. Still, don't go there

P.P.S.: I focused on school because the discourse was about kids, but like, you realise that adult abuse on workplace and such can be way worse and actually endanger your life in the way online never can, right?

Yeah, definitely, it’s an extension of the “stranger danger” model of abuse instead of the reality where most abuse comes from people you know that have power over you, whether it be in a family, school, or work setting. I was constantly told not to talk to strangers online because they’re dangerous by a family member who was literally abusing me lol.

There is harm that can be done by having unfettered internet access as a kid, but until the astronomically greater harm of kids having no rights in the face of parental dominion is addressed, I don’t think parents having more rights to control their children is a good idea

[littlesistersti]

TF Armada Alexis’s Full Name

Full disclaimer out of the way, I’ve never watched Armada. I plan to though. Also, pull up a chair. This is another long one.

Some of you know her. Some of you know a specific version of her. Whether it’s Alexis/Alexa from the anime, Alexis Garner from @itsthelass​ ‘s fic, Faeformers, your own, etc. During the time of the show’s run, she wasn’t given an official last name until this Almanac came out. 2010 vs. 2002 difference. Her full name is Alexis Thi Dang, confirming she’s Vietnamese. We don’t know she is full Vietnamese or half Vietnamese or what. Her design isn’t helpful. 

I’ll accept Vietnamese American girls with brown hair. That were a few of my classmates in elementary school and almost every auntie I see. (Years are VERY off, but you get the point.) Good times. I don’t understand her green eyes though. Green eyes are less common than blue eyes, but genetics tend not to apply in anime/cartoons. (See Marinette’s blue eyes from the Miraculous Ladybug show. Also the fact, how Japanese characters look in anime compared to non-Japanese characters or real life Japanese people) I don’t know what eye colors her parents have, but if the green is natural, she must be at least a quarter Vietnamese. I think? I’m not doing math right now. Unless it’s a genetic mutation, but I don’t know how to tackle that. Yes, I know it’s possible for Vietnamese girls to have blue eyes. However, Google gave me one result of a Vietnamese girl with natural blue eyes, but she is one of the mountain people (ethnic minority). I should know the word for them, but I took Viet 1 some four years ago and forgotten. Other than that, all I have as evidence is this one girl I saw at my high school who has striking blue eyes and can never tell if it’s natural or not. I should’ve asked her, but her fluency and mien bac accent scared me. 

I’m suspecting her green eyes are contact lenses, with prescription or not. It could be a headcanon for a fic. Do what you like with it. I edited some pictures of her with different colors below. Just to see how it’ll turn out. 

You might be wondering why I’m even starting this discussion in the first place. “She’s from an old anime, don’t make a fuss.” “It’s just the color choice of the designers, whatever.” Yeah, but you know how excited I was when I read her last name? The fact I got a smidge of representation, even if it’s more Word of God than canon? The only other Asian humans we got are Sari Sumdac (kinda? Techno-organic?), Isaac Sumdac, and Miko Nakadai. There might be more I’m missing; feel free to let me know. 

So where I going with all this nonsense? I want Alexis to showcase more of her Vietnamese culture. 

Yeah, I know. Awful of me. Again, I’m giddy she’s Vietnamese. I know it’s impossible to show any of the Vietnamese stuff since the anime’s long over and almost nobody knows she’s Vietnamese. All I’m asking is a fanfic where it’s shown. It can be small or big. You know what, draw her in an ao dai or something. Have her eat banh cuon. I guess I should write my own things too. “If you can’t find it, make it yourself” sort of feelings. 

Edited on PicsArt using only the Adjust tool. 

Black hair only

Black hair with brown eyes

Brown eyes only.

Black hair and brown eyes. Tried to give her black hair that blue effect comic books tend to have. 

[dyke-a-saur]

Finished watching Heartbreak High and I gotta say, I feel like they pulled off Gen Z High School really well. Like I could go to school with these absolute agents if chaos.

Okay but important business:

Amerie

I loved her the second she popped up on screen. Her energy, her personality, and her friendship with Harper. It was just the best. At times tho, I could see why the other characters antagonized her. After all, it was just as much her map as Harper’s and she put people in awful situations. Not to mention the reveal that she failed to let Harper in, then had the nerve to say she’d always be there. She even did the same to Malakai (tho it’s clear she acted out of trauma from her and Harper’s friendship gone sour)

Dusty

Fuck you. Youse a bitch, a snake, and truly a shit stain on the trousers of humanity. Work on yourself. Big soulful eyes tho.

Ca$h

Arguably the second most emotionally intelligent character in the show? Definitely better at it than Darren and his relationship was so refreshing? It was neat to see it not be a “I like dudes, oh no,” storyline and instead “I’m ace and just need to better express that to my partner who I love and adore”. Also that “I love you scene” was peak ghetto and I loved it. Darren’s Baby Daddy really behind bars, huh?

Malakai

This man. Is so fine. So sweet. And so funny. I love the way he gets to know Amerie and then befriends her and then becomes her first. And even if he handled the peer pressure to talk about the details poorly, he wanted to do right by her. I also loved how they explored the kinship he had with OTHER BLA(c)K CHARACTERS. It was nice to see how much he healed by being in his community and being surrounded by love for his culture. Missy being a big part of that was beautiful.

Harper

I did get the "spoiler" that she went through "something traumatizing" right before the start of the show, then later got more clues from Tumblr. So i had more patience with her character at the start, being honest. But goddamn it was so hard to watch her shut Amerie out and lash out at her. It also sucked seeing her antagonized in the second half because if she could've reached out or accepted people reaching in, then I feel like shit could've been handled better. But after seeing the events of "that night" I could totally get how and why she would want Amerie out of her life. Fake as hell for not owning up to the Incest Map tho. I was constantly whisper-yelling at my phone "girl, get it together!'

Quinni

No notes. Love her. She's the best. Also the most emotionally intelligent character (not a surprise and fuck you Sasha). She helps so many characters process their emotions, make up, figure out wwhat they want, and still stands on her own as a great character with her own life going on. I'm NT, but from what I've seen on Tumblr, most ND people see her as good rep.

Spider

Fuck this guy. Racist, sexist, (not as homophobic as previously assumed), and awful. But I love it. I love when he gets told to shut up. I love it when he's being awful and the other characters are like "yeah, fuck this dude". But also, he was weirdly complex? like the scene where he would've gotten it on with Amerie makes a lot of sense in context of the rest of his behavior. He's overcompensating because someone he genuinely liked, and cared for to an extent, hurt him in a vulnerable place and treated him like a dissapointment. Doesn't give him the right to react with daily verbal abuse, but his character makes more sense that way. I'd like to see him grow from that, but I'm not sure how.

Star of the Show

They're here, they're queer, they're unapologetically BLACK, they. Are. DARREN.

Okay jokes aside, I love this bitch. They're not only a great friend, but they (mostly) know what they want in life. It's sad to see Darren be dismissed as “too much” in their home, and you can really see how its affected the way they view their ability to be loved and cherished. So seeing them find that in Ca$h and watch the relationshp between the two grow was beautiful. It hurt to see Darren hurt Ca$h, like they gay ass ain't know what the "A" in "LGBTQIA" stood for, but that growth and intracommunity hurt was important to see.

Others

Ant annoyed me but he seemed like he could do/be better if he wasn’t around the rest of the guys. Sasha pissed me off, but I hope losing Quinni was enough to actually get her to look at her self-righteous tendencies and work on herself, I wanna see her go far. Missy was a fucking icon and I love her. Ms. Jojo is the love of my life and fuck Spider/Ant/Dusty (nigga) for screwing her over like that. Mrs. Spigot is my literal soulmate.

I think that’s all for now? But yeah go watch it if you haven’t already. It is another show focusing on the sex lives of teens but it feels more authentic than anything we’ve been given before.

[zim-commentaryquotes]

One time I saw somebody's hot take that Zim MUST be a child around Dib's age/'Irken years age equivalent' because otherwise the show would be 'problematic.' Because, the person said, having an adult infiltrate a school and pretend to be a child and be around and interact with children so much is something a gross predator would do. Which...buddy. Come on. They also claimed that the only reason people want Zim to be an adult is because they're also adults and trying to 'justify being sexually attracted to a minor-coded character,' which is at least an uno reverse I hadn't seen before in response to the 'wanting Zim to be a kid to justify shipping him with kids' thing, but...'minor-coded'? Why, because he's short and petty and sometimes a goofy little man?

Oh, really? Are we canceling ZIM now? Did ZIM do something problematic?

Yeah, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard the “short = kid” idea in this fandom, and it’s pretty shitty for a number of reasons.

1. ZIM’s culture discriminates based on height, so when people assume that ZIM must be a child because he’s short, they’re kind of disrespecting him in the same way. There are plenty of perfectly valid reasons to not respect ZIM; his height isn’t one of them.

2. Haven’t these people ever heard of dwarfism? Dwarfs do exist in reality, and they do have sex. Many little people marry and have relationships with people of average height, so implying that anyone who has a crush on someone who’s short is some kind of predator is big yikes.

3. A big part of the show’s humor is how hilariously awful ZIM is at acting like a kid. Assuming that he’s actually a kid when the whole joke of him being at school is that he’s terrible at pretending to be one is missing the joke by a country mile.

It’s also worth pointing out that ZIM’s signature high-pitched voice doesn’t sound that dissimilar from his voice actor, Richard Horvitz, whose voice is so high he’s often mistaken for his own wife on the phone. ZIM’s voice is coming out of an adult man, and while there are a lot of child characters voiced by grown men (including some of Richard Horvitz’s other characters), the man doesn’t sound all that different from ZIM when he’s just talking normally.

Also, I hate to make wild accusations, but claiming people just want to perceive ZIM as an adult to justify attraction speaks of projection to me. I don’t know if everybody making this argument is also a ZaDr shipper, but any ZaDr (or ZaGr) shipper who’s making this argument is pretty sus in my view.

Like, bruh, you’re the ones shipping children. Come on.

[harrison-abbott]

In student halls I lived with one girl called Carmel. We were talking with some of the other residents in the living room one day. And the topic of dating came up. I.e., relationships and dating.

And Carmel said, “I have the male ethos at the moment. I’m not really interested in dating. Like guys, I’m just looking to sleep with a beautiful stranger.”

I said to her, “There are around three or four billion male people on the planet, Carmel. We’re not all the same. Saying that men are only interested in sex is totally sexist.”

She got fumingly mad. And couldn’t see the alternative point.

One of Carmel’s friends once said to me, “All guys want the same thing. They’re only interested in sex.”

This is a total cliché of sexism. That’s a sexist remark. Don’t you agree?

When I was in college, one of my female teachers, the sociology teacher said at one point, when she was discussing gender differences, “I’m sure men think about sex for 80% of the time.” She said it half-seriously, but there was that same sexist element in there too.

And I remember being in high school, and girls saying things like, “All boys are sexually frustrated!”

There was one time in English class when we were studying the novel Poor Things by Alasdair Gray, and the girls in the class were talking about how all of these men had this weird attraction to a woman with a girl’s brain. “Yeah, all guys are like that!” they were saying, and laughing.

I thought Poor Things was a fucked up book and I didn’t really enjoy it. I got that it was pretty good writing but it wasn’t really my cup of tea. And my observation out of the sexual themes was that it must be some sexual fantasy of the author’s – and yes, he happened to be male – but I personally thought the fantasies were so fucked up and didn’t agree that it was sexy.

Do you think that sexism towards males is overlooked? In the UK, at least? I’m not speaking about other cultures. But I have noticed that a lot: that it’s not just men who are sexist. Women can be as well.

I just found those comments about sex awful.

There are billions of men on the planet and they are interested in a whole range of topics. Sex doesn’t rule their thinking. Offensive, sexist comment. Always hated that.

[rftwfic]

A sneak peek into my immortal/reincarnation sterek fic, as voted on in the poll I did last week.

-

Stiles starts seeing the wolf out of the corner of his eye, like a hallucination. It’s in the woods at the edge of the school parking lot, in the bushes outside his bedroom window at night, behind every tree in the Preserve. Stiles is positive at least half of the instances are just his mind playing tricks on him, a combination of paranoia, Adderall, and sleepless nights either gaming or studying magic tomes leant to him by Deaton.

Besides, the wolf looks exactly like the drawing Deaton showed them: massive, black, and with glowing red eyes. It’s not worth telling the pack about, so Stiles keeps it to himself. 

-

Stiles goes back to Derek’s house to help him plant aster, lilac, and sage in his backyard with the hopes of attracting local bees. When the sun becomes unbearable they take a break inside the house and Derek makes them a pitcher of lemonade. While he’s puttering around the kitchen Stiles wanders through uninhabited rooms, fingers lightly trailing along desks and bookshelves piled high with treasure. Derek has traveled to more than just Europe, as is evident by the hand-crafted Chinese teapots on his shelves and the Persian rugs on his walls. When Stiles asks him about this he reveals that his main source of income is from writing history books, and he often travels to the places he’s writing about to better understand the cultural context of what he’s writing. When Stiles meanders innocently through his office he finds stacks of hand-written notes on the uses of public fountains in Turkey, as well as a few old books in Turkish and Greek.

Stiles asks him about this when they sit down in the kitchen to drink their lemonade, and finds out that Derek knows an awful lot about ancient ways of staying cool in hot climates, with lots of particular opinions about the proper construction of courtyards. Stiles stops him halfway through his insistence on the importance of purposely directed airflow to say, “you’re a huge nerd.”

Derek freezes, the hands he was using to demonstrate what he means lingering in the air. 

Stiles straightens in his chair, clearing his throat. “Not, um, not that that’s a bad thing. I mean, I spend most of my free time studying the occult, so…”

Derek lowers his hands. He glances out the window, where the afternoon sun is highlighting their newly planted flowers. “I have a book on the history of the occult in France if you’d like to borrow it.”

“Yeah,” Stiles’ smile bunches up his cheeks, still rosy from the sun and the heat. “That would be awesome.” 

-

Stiles is almost positive the wolf isn’t real until it saves him from a harpy. 

A small flock of them had taken residence in the Preserve, no doubt lured in by the beacon of Stiles’ growing power, and the pack had made it their mission to drive them away before anyone got hurt.

Stiles had walked through any and all protests and had joined the pack in the woods armed with his bat and a few handy spells, but sometime during the fight he had gotten separated from the others. He can still hear Isaac’s growls and Erica’s snarls, but they’re too far away to be seen through the trees.

Stiles takes another swing at the harpy, his forearm burning from where it had grabbed him earlier, where its talons had scored into his flesh when he managed to pull away. It dips quickly out of the way, its tawny wing a hair's breadth away from connecting with Stiles’ bat. It flies up again, preparing itself to loop back down with greater momentum.

Stiles readies his bat, shoulders tensed to swing at the monster’s outstretched talons, when he feels a rush of air at the back of his head. He ducks just in time, and another harpy barely misses sinking its claws into Stiles’ scalp. It grabs at his hair instead, wings flapping furiously above him as it yanks him around. He manages to swing blindly up and connect with its chest, knocking it off and loosening its grip so he can pull away.

He ends up crouched on the ground, his free hand clutching his aching head, his weapon hand uselessly hanging at his side. He looks up, and it’s too late to raise his bat to protect himself, to do anything more than flinch back in surprise as the first harpy descends upon him, its human mouth twisted open in a shriek. 

Stiles braces himself for pain, but then a shadow passes over him, something large and snarling leaping at the harpy, plucking it out of the air. When it lands on soft paws it viciously shakes its head back and forth, snapping the harpy’s neck before dropping its mangled body onto the ground. 

For a moment Stiles thinks it must be Scott. What other full-shift werewolf does he know? But then the wolf turns around and he gets a closer look.

Stiles knows the pattern of Scott’s coat, the lighter colored patches around his eyebrows, underbelly, and paws. This wolf is solid black, and much, much larger than Scott. It levels Stiles with glowing red eyes for just a moment before leaping away again, snatching the second harpy out of the air and wringing its neck like the first. By the time it drops to the ground, lifeless, Stiles is back on his feet and has his bat held out in front of him in a defensive position.

The wolf stands a few feet away and doesn’t try to approach. It looks Stiles up and down, assessing, and huffs at whatever conclusion it makes. Clearly Stiles is an idiot. His heart is beating in his throat, his breaths come in ragged pants, and he knows he should be running for his life right now, but he can’t seem to get his feet to move. Instead, he stares death in the face, and death stares back, and seems to find him wanting.

Stiles doesn’t relax his position when the wolf turns and walks away, doesn’t lower his arms until it’s far out of sight. Perhaps it’s waiting for something, as if Stiles’ powers aren’t strong enough for him yet. Either way, it knows where he is now, where to find him when he’s ripe for the picking. Stiles thinks of the legends Deaton told them, of the destruction wrought by the wolf when it arrived only to find the spark already snuffed out, and wonders if this is for the best.

[galactic-glamour-girl-posts]

Thoughts on Season 3

Yeah, I know, I'm late to the party. I watched this season weekly (except for episode 8, which I watched the same week as episode 1-I wasn't about to wait 8 weeks to see the CG episode) because screw binge culture I feel that’s just how Animaniacs should be watched (although daily works too). This won't be a review of each episode, just a list of random thoughts I had about the season:

—I already thought Titmouse's animation for the show was phenomenal, but it somehow managed to look even better in “Season 3 and WB”! And it’s always great to see more Nora. If Animaniacs does make another comeback I hope they don’t only stick with characters from the original series (plus some inevitable new ones) because nOsTaLGiA. It would suck if we never saw Nora or Julia or anyone from the reboot again.

—It’s nice to see certain catchphrases be brought back, like Wakko’s “Faboo!” and Dot’s “Boys.” Although it’s almost like a monkey’s paw situation, because Yakko doesn’t say “Goodnight Everybody!” at all this season. Not even once. Has that happened thoughout an entire season of Animaniacs...ever? This isn’t a complaint (it doesn’t really matter), but it’s surprising.

--OK, Cindy's officially my third favourite recurring character the reboot introduced. I'm glad her and Starbox got more segments this season, I like them a little more now!

—I like how “Soda-pressed” and “The Island of Dr Warneau” give insight as to what would happen if the Warners were the perfectly behaved, compliant, innocent children the studio always wanted them to be-they'd be miserable, like GiGi and the clones. The Warners may be chaotic and mess about a lot but at least they have a backbone.

--After "Planet Warner" I wonder how many toons in-universe are rejected pitches...it's gotta be ALOT. I liked the reference to "Opportunity Knox" in Talladega Mice (even the usually narcissistic Brain had to admit that plan was poorly thought out), especially since it's usually the Warners who reference their adventures in the original show, whilst Pinky and the Brain almost never reference their past adventures in the original show or their spin off in the reboot. Also, "D.I.Why?" is gonna be stuck in my head for ages, particularly Wakko's verse.

--I REALLY wish "Fantasy" and "Teeniacs" were longer instead of being cold opens. A Warners/Pinky and the Brain crossover and the Warners in high school? I would've watched an entire half hour each of both of those! As they are, they're both still good though.

—There are six Warner siblings now. Sorry I don’t make the rules.

(Seriously though, the clones were so cute! And I commend the segment for having a great moral about cutting out toxic family members.)

--Fun fact, "Global Warnering" was supposed to be in season 2! It's nice to see the Warners go up against another toon/talking animal again, it felt like pretty much all of the "special friends" in the reboot before season 3 were humans. They were mostly humans in the original show too, but some were talking animals. Also my goodness was "Here Comes The Sea!" catchy. Pretty brutal that the Warners basically kill the guy at the end...but let's be honest he deserved it.

--It's nice to know that canonically Brain did feel guilty over what he did to Julia. Ironic that in trying to deal with his feelings of guilt be ends up repeating the same mistake as before-trying to have complete control of Julia, just In a less overt way. I've seen people say that this was an awful thing to do and his way of dealing with it doesn't make sense because it doesn't actually fix anything but...I'm pretty sure that was the point you guys. Brain's an emotionally unintelligent narcissistic control freak, and always has been. In the spin off he once referred to himself crying as his eyes leaking. What Brain does get is math and science-so he did the only thing he knew. He's not in touch with his emotions and is content with sticking with what he knows doing the same things over and over again, which of course leads to him making the same mistakes. Meanwhile, Julia is in touch with her emotions and is willing to change. Julia's his foil, this whole storyline is basically deconstructing Brain as a character. The only thing I don't get is why is he in love with her? I'm glad the feelings clearly aren't reciprocated, but last time he met a mouse that seemingly became as smart as him (Billie) that was a turn off for him. Or maybe he IS at least a little threatened by Julia's intelligence and that's why he programmed her to be a housewife?

--Basically, I do have some issues with the Julia storyline (as funny as she is they could've done something more interesting and nuanced than turning her into a Saturday Morning Cartoon villain, I could do without Brain actually having feelings for her, and I think her trying to take Pinky away from Brain because she genuinely thinks he'd be better off without him would have been more interesting than her basically ignoring Pinky most of the time) but showcasing Brain's flaws isn't one of them. I'm glad the real Julia showed up in episode 7, would've sucked if what's unfortunately probably gonna be her last appearance in anything ever technically didn't even have her appear. I'll admit I don't really see the point of having two Julias now but I'm guessing they would've done something cool with that plotline. Maybe one day they will! Hopefully the idea for season 4 was that Brain would finally attempt to make things right for real.

--I liked episode 8 overall, but yeah that first scene sucked. I'm not gonna debate this with anyone in the comments-I don't like it. Not just the comments about Wakko, the "boomer" joke and the "lol girls don't play video games!" joke in 2023 were pretty lame. But I'm not gonna rant about it, plenty of people have already. That being said, the Warners looked great in CG, and the rest of the episode was actually funny. They even referenced the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive and Game Boy Animaniacs game and got a studio (Flystudio) who actually worked on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate to do the 3D animation!

--Also, did not expect Starbox and Cindy of all things to get some sense of closure, with it seeming like Starbox will eventually warm up to living with Cindy. Yeah there's that cliff-hanger...but the clone will probably end up like the last one lol.

--One of the scientists who conducted the "Learned Helplessness" experiment on Brain appears near the beginning of episode 9. I swear he even has more white hairs now, neat detail. Also, I guess Yakko being lactose-intolerant is now officially a constant thing in canon and not just a random gag, that's cool. "How The Brain Thieved Christmas" was fine, but Brain is basically learning the same thing he learned in the original PatB Christmas special. That dub-step remix of "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" was unexpected but awesome, and "We Could Try to Do It, Santa" was great too!

--If "Some of Humanity's Wins" ends up being the last full Animaniacs song we ever get (with the Warners' og voices at least), then that's not a bad song to go out on, I like the optimistic message! And I'm so glad to hear Sherri Stoner as Slappy again, she literally sounds the same as she did decades ago, that's amazing. Slappy being retired makes way too much sense.

--So...about that ending. Apparently the meteor was more of a metaphor wasn't meant to be taken too literally. Even if you ignore what Gabe Swarr said on Twitter about how the Warners survived (plus Everyday Safety likely being an in-universe filmed sketch anyway), Yakko has outright said he's impervious to physical harm in "Yakko Amakko" and Wakko said they're immortal in "WARnerGAMES". So I'm just gonna assume the Warners are fine. And although it does technically count as a downer ending, the comedic timing of the meteor's impact was too good for me to hate it. And hey, unlike the original series there was no implication they'd be locked up in the water tower this time so...yay...?

--Here's my ranking of the episodes (from best to worst):

3, 7, 6, 10, 9, 5, 1, 8, 4, 2

I'll keep this last paragraph brief, this post is getting pretty long. The best moments in season 3 are some of the best of the reboot, period. I'm gonna miss this show, I wouldn't even be into Animaniacs without it, and it deserves to have more episodes.

I like to think maybe some day it will!

[phoenixwrites]

This might be badly worded but I just wanted to say thank you for everything you're doing when it comes to fighting against callouts and all. I still struggle with feeling stupid for having anxiety attacks and what I've been told is PTSD because of baiting to kill myself and detailing how I deserved to be r-ped over a fic and a character, I still cannot watch what fandom it was apart of because of how terrifying and triggering it was all so I'd "learn my lesson", "see the error of liking (fictional character)" and "we'll be nice again once you delete that fic bestie!" and so much more. There was immense trauma that I feel so shameful for feeling traumatized about still. I really struggle with participation in fandom because of it but from the bottom of my heart and soul, thank you for being here and fighting back, making fandom feel a little safer. You, your strength, your ethic are an inspiration. I wish you endless good things and support.

I don't think it's badly worded at all. And I'm so, so sorry this has been your fandom experience. You didn't deserve it, they were in the wrong, and the fact that this is becoming a problem from younger folks in fandom spaces? Fucking sucks.

It's literally...baffling to me. The rise of purity culture in fandom? Baffling. Fandom is where I went to ESCAPE purity culture in high school and now this shit is following me in? EW.

I kept this message for a while, because it really meant a lot to me to reread. It's such...all I wanted to do was to write fic. Fandom has ALWAYS been this open inclusive space for ANY ship, even the ones I fucking hate. I'm not shy about the ships I hate! I talk about it literally all the time! There is space to hate ships. That's why the anti tag exists. Some of my closest most beloved Hellcheerers are Reylos and I fuckin' haaaaaate Reylo.

But there's space for me to hate Reylo. I don't need to take a faux-moral stance for me to hate it, I can just hate it because I hate Adam Driver's stupid face. (Or how the focus on his arc deteriorated Finn's arc as a result IT'S FINE. NOT THE ISSUE.)

There is space for fluff and coffeeshop AUs and the most disturbing violent dead doves you've ever seen. There is space for love and fun and trauma and hate.

It's just very outside my fandom experience. The ship wars were vicious, but they weren't trying to shove puritanical moral value to them. It was literally just "I fucking hate Kikyo's stupid face she's a slut", which yeah, reductive and mean, but at least it was honest and not trying to turn it into good vs. evil.

I really hope this weird fuckin trend of harassing dead dove writers or writers of "problematic" ships dies. And I hope your next fandom is lovely and warm and supportive, because you fucking deserve that. We all do. No one deserves this kind of vitriol. It's inexcusable, pathetic, and I'm never going to shut up about how awful it is.

I'm not going anywhere, babes.

[gaybd1]

Chris rewatches and liveblogs the awful The Last Airbender movie for the first time since it was released 13 years ago

ok I saw this once when it was in theatres when I was in high school and I never watched it again. I remember being disappointed and uncomfortable originally

I only remember Aang was pronounced differently and Katara was some blonde chick I remember literally nothing else so here we go

oh damn ok right away the bending animation is kind of giving but the weird cursive stylization of the element names in the intro… not a fan bc my bad Chinese reading self can’t read it and I wonder if that’s even like a real style lol I wouldn’t be surprised either way

Also like just KEEP the TV intro instead of plagiarising but a little to the left?? sorry I know I’m nitpicking

Why are Katara and Sokka like MAGA-white that’s SO uncomfy

Sokka is not giving me the correct vibes

Why would Katara go with Sokka to go hunting?? p sure that happened in the cartoon too but ???

Already changing my mind about the costumes and possibly the Sokka vibes

Okay Aangs tattoos fuck actually

Okay yeah the tone of this whole thing is so boring I can’t put my finger on it yet like something is DEFINITELY missing

Okay yeah the costumes suck

ZUKO??? why is his hair so boring why is his scar so tiny

Gran Gran is white too?? but all the other villagers aren’t lololol okayyyyy

First impression of the sets (like the SWT village were good) but actually they suck they make ZERO sense there are just like open windows and no door?? But it’s cold outside???

OH NO what did this film do to Appa I’m so sorry sweetie look how they’ve massacred my boy

IS THAT UNCLE IROH IM AHSJDKLFNFGSJSKD

EEROH again I guess that’s more accurate but WHY

The vibes in this movie are all off lolol how did Nickelodeon endorse this?????

Still not sure why this feels so flat like I really don’t care about anything happening?? Maybe bc the original show is so character driven and this movie hasn’t even let us get to know any of the characters?? I remember thinking the first time I watched this that it moves way too fast so I guess this all could come down to a pacing problem

Gran Gran’s explanation to like send them after Aang makes no sense at all actually

I know they were trying to be like accurate with the costumes (a laugh tbh) but I do think it was a mistake to get rid of the color associations

MOMO OH NO I’m so sorry sweetie

Again with the air temple set, the vibes are right but it doesn’t look quite like anything I ever saw in SEA or in research...

The sequence where he finds out the airbenders are gone is pretty good. Seems they could do more with that than in the show but okay now he’s having some weird vision with a dragon????

Wait Soe-ka? Knock it off w the names I s2g where is the franchise continuity

Are the gonna explain the weird ass dragon vision??

The FN ships are so bad

Zhao is not creepy enough. Asshole enough though.

I KNOW I’m nitpicking but even the food seems wack

Weird that the firebenders seem to be only able to manipulate fire here, not create it

I do wonder about the authenticity of the costumes. I’ve heard they suck but I’d be fooled which begs the question, why not just BE authentic to the cultures they’re supposed to represent

Is it the acting that’s flat here, the writing, or the directing? Whose fault is it??

Interesting choice to have the earthbenders imprisoned within reach of their own element. I kind of like that, showing how defeated their spirits really are

Of course they gave away Katara’s motivational speech

These bending motions CANNOT be based on real martial arts lmfao it seems so clunky

Wild how I just don’t care about any of these characters lol

The writing isn’t ALL bad like I actually like the way different plot elements were connected for the sake of the movie but the execution is just so bad

Princess Yue leads the NWT? Again… a Choice

Wild how they are leaving the best episodes out of this narrative. Like the ones that gave the characters life

LOVE that there’s an African-inspired Earth Kingdom village, I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot actually

Why does the Fire nation look like that?? Why does Ozai look like that??? Why are we introducing Ozai already I don’t like that choice either???

I HATE the Fire Nation aesthetic SO MUCH

Ozai is not evil enough AT ALL

I DO like the creative directions they took w diversity in the Earth Kingdom like in different towns

AGNI KEE I’m

Aww lil Azula is cute

What a weird ass way to fit in Zuko’s backstory. Again, I don’t find myself caring about it at all

Starting to really hate the bending actually. The elements don’t seem to be interacting w the movements of the bender at all

The statue room looks cool

The dragon again wtfff

The Blue Spirit. Cool but it doesn’t hit as hard bc we don’t CARE about Zuko or his past and tbh it probs won’t make any sense to a casual viewer anyway

Also why does his mask need to come with a wig I mean it looks so unserious

Iroh just creeps me out idek why

OH we’re blowing up Zuko’s ship NOW okayyy

Aww some Sokka/Yue vibes but it’s a real shame I don’t give a shit about this version of Sokka

I think one reason I don’t like this version of bending is it takes so much handwavinv before anything even starts happening

Not digging this NWT aesthetic either tbh

Pakku??? Why does he look like cheap knock off Theodin? Why is he like… nice???

Why is Aang trying to talk to this Dragon Spirit and not like… Roku?

Wild how the one thing they left the same from the actual show was how Zuko snuck into the NWT lol

Hate the spirit oasis, actually

Least helpful Dragon Spirit ever

Cool that iroh is the one who can make fire out of nothing (he obviously taught Zuko) but lolol what a random time to do that

Okay the scene between Yue and Sokka before she turned into the moon was nice. Probably the most emotion we’ve seen in the whole movie

More morbid that her body is still there though lol

And no Ocean Spirit to fuck things up??

Drowning someone w waterbending is very dark but actually a great touch

I like this idea of Aang mourning his people and using that to harness his waterbending and then he can beat the FN on his own without a spirit’s help. That’s nice.

Also the music for that scene was nice. The only good soundtrack all movie too

So he’s just scaring them with water?? Lmaoooooo not even like killing anyone they just all ran away?? that’s actually…. A fucking terrible plot point never mind

Sweet he gets another chance to like. Accept his role as avatar and bow back to everyone?

AZULA

Okay yeah that was AWFUL

[slu-tea-ftm]

not about kinks or stuff. don't answer if don't want to) bro, what was it like taking t or getting top surgery early? In my country we can only take hormones and get surgery at 18 years old. I spent my entire adolescence anxious for it. like. give me that testo, government.

I'm always happy to get asks, kinky or not!! This is gonna be long, so strap in lol

And I never mind talking about my journey, because I know it's not really the "norm," even in trans culture.

Honestly, it never really hit me exactly how early I was allowed to get hormones and surgery until a year or so ago when I was thinking back on it. It didn't feel early to me. It felt like everything was timed just right, but looking back, yeah, it was pretty early.

For a while, I just wanted the social change. Cut my hair, change my name, and change my clothes. Boom. Done. I was fine with that for a year or two (I was 11-12 when I came out). I actually cried when I got my hair cut, and my stylist was concerned that she'd upset me. Nope! I was just so happy that she cut my hair! She still cuts my hair to this day and says that I'm a completely different person (/pos).

But then I started feeling like it wasn't enough. I wanted to fit in more with The Guys (side note: I never really did, even after all the hormones and surgery bc these guys knew me since elementary and most were bigoted assholes). So we went to my doctor to try getting hormones. That took, I think, a year and a half or so? Still a pretty short time frame. At one point, I was wearing a binder and a back brace because I have scoliosis, R.I.P. my ability to b r e a t h e.

But we got it! And I was fine with that by itself, too! Until around my sophomore(?) year in high school. I always changed in the nurse's office because it was embarrassing changing with anyone else—boys or girls. So I brought up trying to get top surgery to my mom (shout out to her for being so supportive during my whole transition, gods I love my mom). By junior year, I got my tits yeeted, and I was changing with the boys in P.E. Other than locker rooms, P.E. was co-ed, so there was no "boys on this side, girls on that side" that I can remember.

Obviously, I never fit in with The Guys, and I didn't want to fit in with The Girls (even though many of my friends were girls). But I felt comfortable in my body, at least. It felt more like myself.

I don't regret any of it, even if it all did happen quite young. I got plenty of warnings from doctors and my therapists, and my mom and I had to jump through a ton of hoops to get where we did. I'm really grateful that I got everything when I did, because it probably saved me a lot of depression and anxiety I would've had now.

Even though I got approved for T "early," by medical and societal standards, I basically had to go through puberty twice lol. Because I had already gotten periods and experienced breast growth (not much, thankfully), acne, etc. And then I got testosterone and my voice was cracking a lot while it changed, my fat redistributed through my body, I think I gained more muscle?? hard to tell bc I was never really strong to begin with, my hairline receded quite a bit 🥲, and all those usual things associated with cis guy puberty....including being constantly horny. Gods, that was awful. Wet boxers every day, all the time, it was so awkward.

As for top surgery, that was the only part I was actually scared about. Not because I was anxious about regretting the surgery or the cost of it or anything like that. Just because I have trauma when it comes to people doing things to me while I'm unconscious (or so they thought). That was the only scary part. That, and the IV going in me bc I had this weird fear that if I moved my hand, then the needle would break out of my vein, into my body, and kill me or smth :)

Other than that, the surgery part was easy! Recovery took a while and sucked, especially the rules:

Don't lift more than (I think it was) 5 lbs

Don't raise your arms over your head

No showering for the next few days after surgery

Massage the skin once to twice a day (my hand hurt a lot after this part)

Don't pick at the scabs

I think that's all there was...

Now, I easily pass as a cis guy to most strangers. One of my favorite things to do is see how people react when they find out I'm trans lol. Because they never expect it! And then I show them a picture of me before transitioning, and they're like, "😲 That's you?!"

"Yep :)"

I know most people are afraid of being outed as trans, but for me I'm just like, "Look at how far I've come!!" It's not really a touchy subject for me. As long as someone is genuinely curious and not asking super invasive questions <3