#yeah we’re gay. can’t deal with it? skill issue.

[daily-smol-silm]

Can I ask you for another little russingon? <3

I really love them and your art style too,of course is only an question its on you if you want,I hope to not be bothering you :3

Apologies for the quality, it’s super late and I’m not great at drawing on my phone lol 😅

Fluffy Hair + the one who always wants to hug Fluffy Hair = best ship dynamic

[thissacrificeisnecxesary]

Roman sec uhhhhhhh. Sex Is scary = make jokes about it? I don’t know. I mean all of his sexual encounters revolve around shame which I guess is pretty common. Traumatized children sexual violence and whatnot. But it’s. Taken an odd shape. I guess he enjoys dynamics with plausible deniability, aswell as excessive force. So odd. It’s such an odd combination because it’s like. Everything Roman does and says makes you want to point to his childhood and figure out when and where someone did something so awful to him that he turned into this freak. But he also seems like he doesn’t have any ‘real’ or tangible trauma. It’s like, floaty and kind of nothing which I guess could mean either much of his childhood is supposed to be incoherent cause he forgor 1 point for sexual violence, or, he has some kind of jacked up autistic cptd from a series of ‘minor’ events. Meaning that you can’t really point to any particular moment or action and link it to his behavior, it’s kind of just all of it. So did Roman get molested or did he just grow up in an environment curated by logan that insisted upon some really fucking weird shit regarding sex and gender. Cause I mean. Like. Logan repeatedly cheats on both of his wives with young women, and this is something the kids are familiar and aware of which to me at least suggests according to the timeline of Carolina and logan’s marriage that they were aware of logan’s innapropriate conduct from a fairly young age (early/mid teens?)

But what does that have to do with cucking????

I also think Roman is gay but only for or mostly for the shame aspect of it, not because he necessarily is interested in men, like, it’s an internalized homophobia thing. I guess it’s clear his one defense, to the point that it seems almost compulsive is to sexualize the stuff that makes him wanna scream and rip his hair out, which. Is. Well adjusted behavior!!!!!!

Mommy Carolina is pretty neglectful but to be fair, like, it is implied Roman often was sent alone to spend time with his mother and though he was alongside shiv she had kind of surpassed him developmentally pretty early on, while Kendall was getting groomed by logan during their vacation shiv had to sort of train herself. And Roman being the baby he is just kind of. Didn’t. So he falls behind but it’s fine. He’s a spare. How are you gonna make this come back to cucking. Oh yeah. So. He. He spends. A lotta time with mommy right as a result of not having any goals regarding logan and spending the most time with mommy he ends up kind of. Arrested development a little. Baby Kieran culkin. Baby Hitler. He still wants to be included though treehouse and whatever. And he has skills I just. I don’t wanna dumb down Roman I just thinks it’s really really imperative to his character that you view him like a child. Like. I beleive that he does not have the mental faculties to control his actions and should not have the amount of power he unfortunately has. Which is true for all the sibs it’s just. Especially clear in Roman I don’t know. He’s like the fuckin Henry Kissinger of this operation. Hey! We’re getting off topic fucking stupid dyke! Cucking!!!’

GOD. I can just spend an eternity trying to figure out his sex issues and not coming up with an answer. I just think himgetting molested is too easy. But he is a culkin. Maybe that’s the deal? Like. To be fair. He is passed around a lot. The thing about Roman is consistently logan makes a habit of sending Roman off to be watched elsewhere. Like he’s almost aware of the fact that Roman should be supervised but he doesn’t wanna fuckin deal with him. So I imagine Roman was often handed off to the first person who would offer childcare. Which, especially considering logan’s connection to the cruises situation maybe makes it seem like it’s possible Roman got a little sex trafficked. It wouldn’t be totally out of bounds narrative wise considering logan is a big king-y and they definitely were doing that shit. Renting out your spare son to pedophiles and shit. But I don’t know. It’s too linear for him, maybe we’re taking it a bit far. I guess I just mean. Roman’s behavior to me is indicative of long term like, implementation of fuck shit sex wise in his child brain. Like. Not me disarming assault but just the kind of careless neglect that can happen. Where it’s kind of like, Drew Barrymore yaknow? Psycho fucking rich people think it’s fun to give the toddler vodka, and do. Whatever. I don’t know. I just can’t. Validate something that dark happening to him. Weirdly/ like I dunno maybe it’s cause he’s rich or something but I just. Don’t have it in me to beleive he was abused in a way that is traditional or coherent. Especially when you compare the way he is to his siblings, he seems affected in a very particular way which says to me that part of this is coming from his own brain. Bpd! Maybe? I dunno what am I. The whole point is. Don’t do that you just. You know what I mean

[cakeandpi]

Parker!! spoilers abound

hm, so Harry (aka Lawyer) has been fired/let go and no one gave him the memo on it. Is his old job/boss going to be this episodes mark?

oof, Harry is bad at being subtle with his ‘okay look in [place]’ comm directions

ah okay so isn’t a legal firm that’s about representing their clients to the best of their ability. it’s a firm whose about smoothing bad things over for rich clients so that there’s little to no consequences.

“I remember when you wanted to change the world.”/“World did change. We just went along for the ride.” So the world changed the boss, the boss gave up on changing the world because he saw a way to profit from it and didn’t care that he hurt others along the way.

The way that car drove up onto the curve, I thought that was Sophie in a big hurry at first. (I would have thought Parker but there wasn’t enough time for her to crack the safe, get to the relevant files, get out, and then drive there.) But no, it’s Maxwell’s thugs because the man holds a grudge apparently. So I’m going to guess he’s going to be the season big bad? Or is he just a 2-episode bad guy and we’ll find out who the real big bad is later?

Hardison: listing various problems on various international efforts he’s helping with Eliot: let’s make this a restaurant metaphor Hardison: *very much regretting ever buying Eliot that brewpub*

Nuts and bolts about bad guy details

Also that bit about Hardison being distracted by problems is definitely a distraction, there’s no way he’d pause on making sure their safehouse was secure

Eliot is not so much pissed as insulted that the world is at the point of advertising the corruption rather than him needing to beat it out of someone.

drone!!

*snort* eliot's usually the grouchy one, and he’s carrying a trashcan right now. there’s no way hardison doesn’t make some oscar the grouch joke once he sees that.

“It’s like you never stopped.”/“Yeah. Quite the act.” Sophie slows down at Hardison’s comment, then sighs and sits. She’s finding this tiring now. Is it because she’s out of practice? Or because after so many years of retirement, her hearts not in it anymore? And Hardison notices. He doesn’t say anything concrete immediately, because Sophie hasn’t really elaborated on what’s going on with her. When she does - it’s her grief, and how its affecting her grift now - there’s this concern in Hardison’s face. There’s absolutely going to be a meeting between the OT3 about how to straddle not straining Sophie too much and not babying her should she stay on for another job after this.

“But I can’t work forever, can I?” There’s a defeated tone to this, and it’s true - Sophie’s just human, one day she too will pass on. Her grief for Nate (and how being back with the team keeps reopening that wound) is coloring her view on this for sure. (Did Nate work himself to death?) It’s also, very distantly, a remark on the OT3 - they too can’t work forever. They were Sophie’s and Nate’s proteges. And it’s not that the OT3 doesn’t have anything in place if they go down - they’ve got small teams running all over the world. But they don’t have their own personal proteges. Harry’s a decent start, but they’ll need to recruit and open up their circle to at least one, maybe two more before they’re ready to retire. Before they, too, burn too hot for too long.

“You hear that? That’s a very distinctive sound.” YES

Another Basil & Brick truck! This one has.... empanadas, ropa vieja, sancocho, and I think the last one is yuca frita. Mm, yuca fries.

BREANNA!!!

Parker! Taught Breanna to tail people! (Hardison in particular?) When she was 11! Wait does that mean Parker’s met Nana?! Also Parker is so smug and satisfied that Breanna paid attention to her lessons.

“I teach every kid I meet how to do crime.” <3 be gay do crime

This is a big ‘I’m telling mom!’ argument and I love it, especially the “I think she’s napping” LMAO

“How you saved Eliot’s life all those times” Oh man Hardison is sleeping on the metaphorical couch tonight. But also I need to come back to this later because honestly and really? Hardison has - as part of a group team effort - saved Eliot’s life from himself. By giving him a way to work through his anger issues, by caring for him, by showing Eliot he’s needed and that he’s more than just a hitter. The team saved Eliot’s life. (And there’s probably a bunch of erasing digital trails/etc where Hardison did more directly save Eliot’s life but that's besides the point.)

“But hacking’s kind of old school anyway.” And as she goes on, Eliot goes from aggrieved to ‘oh, a new best friend’ because now he has someone to help him annoy Hardison.

Parker pulls Hardison into a side room (by his ear, but he’s not protesting in pain so that’s got to be just for show). And then pushes him up against the wall and Hardison is like ‘okay whatever lecture is coming can it not be like this?’ If it weren’t for the glass walls that’d be some makeout stuff right here.

LOL at Parker’s standard for a ‘normal’ person being ‘uses Uber, pays taxes, and has a birth certificate’.

“Wait is this like that time in Paris?” I... don’t remember an episode set in Paris with a robot and explosions so this must be during the time skip. And - “... but you didn’t want to hurt Eliot’s feelings so you secretly wanted us to agree.” I’m going to scream if there’s no confirmed ot3 by the end of the season. And cry. And read a whole bunch of fic.

Look at these two being honest with each and communicating and respecting each others opinions, they’ve grown so much from pretzel metaphors.

“You’re not mad. You did the Picard tug.”/“I am mad.“/“Did the tug. You know I like that.” Parker might be mad (at Hardison? Breanna? Both?) but not so much that she’s completely shutting out Hardison, giving him a nonverbal signal that she’s not pissed, just needs some time to be upset before everything’s okay.

“One. Job.” Parker says. And we the viewers know it’ll be more than one. But really what that means by now is that this is an audition. Parker may have taught Breanna some things, but now Breanna has to show that they do better with her rather than without, that she’s an asset and not a liability or dead weight.

I laughed so hard that because this shit’s illegal, there’s no cutting corners on the paperwork.

“And you didn’t get tortured.”/“Not this time.” I can’t tell if Eliot wants Harry to get a little bit tortured or if he’s just reminding Harry that this time around people were in a good mood and showing off.

Breanna stops herself before suggesting something, and Hardison, for all that he isn’t delighted at her presence and protested her being here, encourages her to speak up. If she’s going to be part of the team, even for one job, she’s part of the team and that means speaking up and throwing ideas out there for others to bounce around, even if it winds up being a football that can’t be dribbled.

OT3 TEAM JUST GOT DUBBED ‘DRILL TEAM’. (why is that also somehow a dirty joke i’m dying here)

Oh one of the baddies is a Com4r4t fan... oh wait no this is the beginning of a plan backfiring.

Aww Breanna is so proud of what she’s done! It’s very much like season 1 Hardison. So Sophie and Hardison go to do their own thing, only that means the baddies are here to talk to Breanna and she doesn’t have backup.

THE 'LET ME GET MY BOSS’ THE SPIN AROUND AND THE ‘WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING MY STAFF’ I LOVE BREANNA.

“I’m your neighbor who runs a business built on discretion.” This is going to go very badly depending on how Breanna plays this. At least she gets the earbud in to call for help!

Another Brick&Basil truck! Etoufee and jambalaya, dammit eliot stop choosing delicious food to advertise. 

“I monkey-shamed the DJ” I. Love. Her. Also Sophie’s already read Breanna as having the skills to just need general guidelines for an impromptu grift rather than needing to be fed specific lines.

“Okay here’s the thing.” And there’s a pause, we’re thinking he’s about to come down real hard on Breanna, and then we get “I love Com4r4t.” he is a fanboy I guessed it right!! And then he does go through with the threat, but not as a ‘cancel it or die’ sort of threat, but a ‘if i’m disappointed you die’ way.

Breanna nails the impromptu grift though she’s understandably a bit shaken by the threat at the end. (What newcomer wouldn’t be?) But the threat is what pushes Parker into deciding Breanna should go home ASAP. This is Hardison’s family, from before the team, and Parker isn’t about to risk messing that up. If she pushes for Breanna to stay when Hardison doesn’t want Breanna to, and something goes wrong? Parker would never, ever forgive herself.

But as Sophie has pointed out, they’ve all been out of their depth at one point or another. That doesn’t mean that someone should be sent packing.

Lmao Eliot being possessive of the drill.

“Then you ain’t got no more problems ever again.” There’s a certain sense of morbid humor with the team, one that’s both necessary but also a reality. They deal with this level of danger on a semi-regular basis. Harry just hasn’t caught up to that fact yet.

I have a feeling this particular baddie is going to end up dead for managing to drive a 40% cut.

“I’m just saying dude.” I love that Eliot and Hardison don’t have to rehash their entire arguments anymore unless they’re really enjoying themselves, that they can just be all ‘you know I’ve said my piece’.

“Don’t get distracted by the side gig.”/“Is it a side gig?” For all that the team has been their main focus for so long, for all that they all have side projects and gigs, this has been eating up more and more of Hardison’s time. What I thought was him pretending to be distracted earlier may have been a real distraction. And Eliot’s noticed, and he’s noticed that Hardison hasn’t noticed, that Hardison needs to make a choice here.

“In our line of work, you’re one of the best. But in that line of work you’re the only one, man.” Eliot has a soft smile at the end of that, and it's a bit painful, even as I saw it coming, to hear Eliot suggest that Hardison begin to step away from the team’s day to day.

“It’s okay to grow up, to realize you’re not the person you used to be.” None of them are the person they used to be. Not Sophie, not Parker, not Hardison, and certainly not Eliot. They can see that in each other if not in themselves. (Eliot, being the most grounded of all of them, already knew he’d changed eight years ago.)

“You never grew up.”/“Yeah. I achieved perfection pretty early, huh?” Even as Eliot’s the most grounded, even though he’s the one saying that there’s no one else that could fill Hardison’s role in that other work, the idea that Hardison might actually choose to step away from the team is too raw to handle without turning to humor.

Harry’s a bit jumpy, but he’s learning to play it off. I like that he’s a very different character from Nate, that it’s not his anger or ego driving him so much as a desire to make restitution.

And a “Dammit Hardison”

Ooh, Eliot’s in the vents too, just in time to help Parker. (She doubtless has her beloved taser but that would take time away from getting into the vault.)

“I smell lasers” Ahahahahaha

“You’re going to compare me to Eliot right now?” (’over the comms, where others who aren’t Eliot can hear?’ Hardison did not say out loud.)

ouch, okay, Hardison hurting his back like that might be what actually makes him choose the other gig over the team, or at what makes him take a little vacation so he can heal from that. (back injuries are nothing to play around with!)

how did Maxwell get past Eliot? but it’s all good, Eliot’s right behind to disarm him. And Parker’s been doing her hitting lessons, she didn’t even need a taser or to stab anyone!

Oh Harry, the bomb will be used, it’s just not time yet.

New Orleans gumbo is its own food group.

Okay so Hardison’s done a lot of work getting this place in order... WAIT IS THAT A PUNCHING BAG? That’s a punching bag! It might not be the love-letter the brewpub was but it’s definitely a thing added specifically for Eliot.

Oh no, Eliot might realize what Hardison’s doing with this, but Parker hasn’t caught up yet that Hardison’s going to be taking a break from the team.

Parker’s blindsided by this, and she’s upset, but she’s not mad because why didn’t she see this coming she should have seen it, so she leaves to deal with her emotions alone. Hardison follows, naturally, she knew he would, but she can’t face him because then he’ll see her crying, and Parker doesn’t do emotions easily. She’s torn between wanting him to help people and wanting to be with him (and she can’t go with him, she needs to be helping people too).

And Parker doesn’t want Breanna there without Hardison. Again because it’d put Hardison’s family in danger and that’s a step too far for Parker if Hardison doesn’t okay it. And also because with Hardison leaving, Breanna’s just going to be reminders of what Parker’s missing. And Breanna doesn’t have Hardison’s skillset, can’t fill his shoes - not that she should but she can’t, and Parker, I think, is already mentally preparing herself to go it alone again. Because if this job needs Hardison so bad, then surely Eliot’s got some project that needs his specific attention, and it was just one job for Breanna, and Sophie’s been adamant that this is one last job for her, and Harry’s still new and will probably decide to do his own thing given time to think... I think that’s where her brain is at, at least for the next thirty seconds, before she catches up with herself and realizes that more like the time she busted her leg than the team dissolving around her. (This kind of went weird places but that’s stream of thought for me)

And as they come back in Parker’s already cheering up some, because that wave of despair has already blown over. Yeah, she’s not a parent, but she’s good at teaching when she tries.

“It could be a reunion tour.”/“No. I’m retired.” It’s very different from Nate’s old protestations. He was not a thief. Whereas with Sophie it’s not ready. And while they all point out that she’s been happier while doing cons, that they could use the help, it’s not forceful or overpowering. It’s still Sophie’s decision. They’re not going to make her house their new base and taunt her with it; they’re not the sort of people who’d do that anymore, and anyway that’d be cruel instead of a fun sort of goading.

And because they give Sophie space to make a decision, while she doesn’t want to make a long-term commitment, she’s willing to take on ‘just a few more’.

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Seventy Two

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

November 11th, 2001

Emile sat at the table, staring at the letter he was holding with great consternation. Faith had written him, and he had written her back, talking about Remy and how they were getting along, and generally, how everything seemed nice and domestic lately. And Faith had replied, throwing Emile a curveball.

Would you marry him, Emile? It’s obvious to everyone you’ve written to that you love him. We’ve all talked about it at one point or another. We all think you should, if you love him as much as you say you do.

Emile didn’t know how to respond. Would he marry Remy? The mere thought felt like he was going to spiral into a panic attack. But at the same time...he couldn’t deny the warmth he felt in his chest about the idea.

He put the letter away, resolving to respond to it when he had a better answer than “I don’t know.” He knew Faith wouldn’t let the matter drop if he waffled on the decision.

  September 20th, 2002

Emile couldn’t help but laugh as he saw a familiar face he knew all too well approaching him on campus. “Theo!” Emile exclaimed, running over and giving his friend a huge hug. “What’s up? I didn’t think you were coming to visit for a little while yet! I thought you’d still be sick of Fairview!”

Theo laughed and hugged Emile back. “I actually swung by to chat with you and Remy. I’m having housing issues and I was hoping you two might have some advice on finding a roomie and splitting rent, y’know? Falling in love is not required, but it is a plus.”

Emile laughed. “Well, you’re in luck, because I just finished my last class and I was heading to the parking lot. Remy’s not off his shift at the local coffee shop yet, but we can hang around the shop until he’s off and we can snag him, and you can come back to ours!” Theo nodded and they walked to the parking lot together. “So, what sort of housing problems are you having? Prices? Roommates? Lack of roommates?”

“All of the above?” Theo weakly joked. “My current roommates are barely pulling their weight, I can’t find new ones, and none of the half-decent places are in my price range, so if I move out, I have to settle for a run-down one room which probably has massive problems.”

“Yikes,” Emile said with a grimace. “That’s seriously not good.”

“Tell me about it,” Theo said. “You two made it look so easy, I don’t know how you did it. I’m ready to throttle my roommates at any given moment for stealing my food, invading my privacy in my room, or for inviting people over who inevitably trash the place.”

“I mean, the fact that Remy and I tolerated each other and had pretty clear boundaries from the start helped,” Emile said. “I have no doubt you tried to set boundaries, but I’m willing to bet those roommates of yours didn’t respect them, did they?”

“Not after the first few weeks, no,” Theo sighed. “And they brushed me off every time I tried to talk to them about it.”

“Ouch. You definitely need better roommates, Theo,” Emile said.

Theo nodded. “I don’t know anyone else in that area, though, unfortunately. I’m thinking about moving back here, however temporarily, because I know a few people here who might be willing to split rent with me.”

“That might be a good idea,” Emile agreed. “Provided you can stand being around the college you went to, that is.”

“Somehow I think I’ll live,” Theo laughed. “Like, some people might give me grief, but they’re my friends so I wouldn’t mind too much. The biggest problem, for me, is going to be finding a job in my field. Forensic science is all well and good until you’re forced to move back to a city with a low crime rating so all the spots where you might be able to work forensics have been filled for years.”

“Ooh, ouch,” Emile said with a wince.

“Yep,” Theo said with a strained laugh. “It’s...not great, for sure. I really need to find somewhere that I can work, and somewhere that I can afford my own place at the same time, y’know? But the housing market is ridiculously expensive, and I heard it’s only gonna get worse.”

Emile grimaced. “Yikes, yeah, I’ve heard inflation is getting pretty bad. I haven’t had to worry about it as much, but if you’re looking for a place...”

“It totally sucks, dude,” Theo said with absolute certainty, leaning back into the passenger seat of Emile’s car. “Oh, but since I’m here, and Remy’s not...how’s the project going, man?”

Emile offered Theo a big grin. “I’ve got the property,” he said, eyes lighting up. “Turns out it was almost gonna be demolished, because no one’s been picking it up. But it’s in good condition. All I really need is the inside and everything will be ready!”

“The inside is gonna take a while, though, you know that, right?” Theo asked. “Getting everything up to code, renovating what’s been getting run down, electricity, plumbing...”

“I know,” Emile said. “But I have the worst of it over with. The property’s bought. And I know Remy’s specifications for what he wants on the inside, and he’s none the wiser to the plan, and...man, this will be ready by mid to late December if everything goes right!”

“It could be your birthday present to him,” Theo lightly teased.

Emile gasped. “Oh my God, it could! Can you believe that, Theo?! I could make this Remy’s birthday gift! His very own shop!”

Theo laughed. “You’re such a mess, Emile. On one hand, you’re a highly skilled, well-rounded adult, but on the other, your emotions come into play and it’s like you’re a five year old on Christmas morning. And your emotions are always in play when it comes to Remy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to see you being loving and excited and human, but your reasoning skills when you’re emotional?” Theo made a whistling noise with his teeth, “Out the window.”

“Hey! I’ve made good decisions when I’m emotional before!” Emile laughed.

“Yeah, because you put your emotions to the side. That’s not making rational decisions when emotional, that’s looking at things from a rational angle rather than an emotional one. And you do kinda bottle up those emotions when making the decisions, don’t think no one’s noticed.”

“I—well—yeah...” Emile reluctantly admitted. “Remy’s been helping me with that, though.”

“Yeah, he’s told me as much in his emails,” Theo said. “And I’m proud of both of you. You for allowing your emotions a place and a time, and Remy for being willing to help with that sort of thing instead of leaving you to your own devices.”

“We both have grown a lot,” Emile agreed as they pulled into the coffee shop parking lot.

Theo and Emile got out of the car and walked into the shop, Emile asking, “You want anything to drink? My treat.”

“I could take a small coffee,” Theo said.

Emile nodded and got in line, telling Theo, “Grab a table for both of us?”

Theo nodded and Emile couldn’t help the little smile on his lips. He was just having coffee with a friend. It shouldn’t seem all that important, but it felt strangely adult, and he didn’t know why that made him giddy, but it did. Just being able to sit down and complain about roommates and jobs and...just getting adjusted to the new normal that life was winding up being.

Emile placed their orders and found Theo sitting in a corner, and he gave Theo his coffee while Emile kept his tea. Theo waited until Emile was taking a sip of his tea before he asked, “So, are you gonna pop the question?”

Choking on his tea, Emile stared at Theo, who was shaking with silent laughter. “Theo!” he gasped. “Come on! That’s mean!”

“Well, I’m just wondering!” Theo asked innocently.

Emile sighed. “Well, it’s not exactly like we could get married anywhere yet,” he said. “It feels like a moot point.”

“It’s a symbolic thing, man. Even if you can only get a ‘civil union’ or whatever, the promise of staying together until the end of the line is there,” Theo said.

“But we already have that promise with each other,” Emile said, frowning.

“Precisely why I’m asking about this,” Theo said. “You’ve already got it, so when are you making it official?”

“Theo, believe me when I say whenever gay marriage is an option I will absolutely be marrying Remy. And it will be the best day of my life. But until it’s legalized, or at least it’s in the process of being legalized, I don’t see the point of getting a ring,” Emile said with a shrug. “Oh, and before I forget, when that day comes? You’d better be my best man.”

It was Theo’s turn to choke on his coffee. “Dude, you kidding me?! Of course I’d be your best man! I’m honored! But is there like, no one else you’d rather have?”

“Theo, the only person closer than you and our friend group in terms of friendship with me is Remy. And I’d be marrying him. I can’t exactly have him be my best man.”

Theo beamed. “Man, you’d better be inviting all your friends to this hypothetical wedding. That includes your high school ones. I can’t wait to embarrass you in front of them.”

“They knew me when I was thirteen, can’t get much more embarrassing than that,” Emile said simply.

“Ooh, I’d love to pick up some stories from them,” Theo said, grinning and rubbing his hands.

Emile laughed just as Remy walked over. “What’s the deal with this party without me?”

“Remy!” Theo exclaimed, standing up and hugging Remy.

Remy returned the hug with a grin. “Good to see you, man. What’s up?”

“Housing issues, actually,” Theo said. “I need your and Emile’s advice about finding new roomies.”

“And in the process, try and get us to get engaged, apparently,” Emile said drily.

“What, we’re not married already?” Remy asked with a laugh.

Emile snorted and Theo said, “Nah, man. You haven’t tied the knot. I would know, I’m Emile’s best man, and he hasn’t stuck me in a tux yet.”

Remy grinned. “Well, that’s great and all, except for me, because now I have to find a different best man for the big day.”

“Yeah, I’m not making two best man speeches,” Theo laughed. “Would you seriously ask me, though?”

Remy shrugged. “I dunno, man. Like, thinking about it, I never really planned out a wedding for anyone I had crushed on or dated. And Toby was gonna be my best man, because I asked him once and he promised...but since we lost contact...” Remy shrugged. “You’d be an excellent second choice. But I’ll figure something else out.”

“All right,” Theo laughed.

“You officially off the clock, Rem?” Emile asked.

“Yup,” Remy said. “And ready to go home.”

“Oh, man, I wish I could say that,” Theo bemoaned.

“Yeah, let’s talk about your housing, man, what’s up?” Remy asked.

As Theo explained what was going on and they walked out of the shop, Emile’s gears were whirring. He would definitely need to find Toby soon. Especially considering that sooner or later he knew he would be finding a ring for Remy. He didn’t know when that might be, but Theo was right. The promise of staying together until the end of the line deserved something important.

It was funny, though. The thought of marrying Remy just felt...inherently right. As Remy and Emile fought over who should drive the car back to their apartment, Emile considered marrying anyone else, of any gender, of anyone he had previously dated, and it never rung as true as what he felt when imagining marrying Remy.

Remy won the argument for driving the car and Emile slid into the passenger seat, glancing at Theo in the back. “You know what, Theo? You’re right.”

Theo grinned. “I know I am, dude. But I’m glad that you can see that too.”

“He’s right about what?” Remy asked.

“One day, I’m gonna marry you,” Emile said simply.

“Oh,” Remy said. “I mean, yeah? Marriage is terrifying, but there’s no one I’d rather marry.”

“I’m glad we’re in agreement,” Emile said.

“Do you know when you’re gonna propose?” Remy asked.

“Not yet,” Emile said. “Need to find a ring first, figure out the right moment. But I’m definitely proposing to you.”

“Not if I do it first, buddy,” Remy said with a wicked grin.

“Oh, it is on,” Emile said.

Theo laughed. “Are you two really turning proposals into a competition?” he asked.

“Best proposal wins the excuse to kiss the other person for a solid minute,” Emile said solemnly.

“Oh, you are so on!” Remy exclaimed with a laugh.

Theo just cackled at their antics.

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #1- Meeting All Our New Friends

Okay, let’s see what happens when you give one man way too much power over a franchise, and he doesn’t use it for evil.

Before we get into the story, let’s take a look at the cover art! MTMTE, as well as its sister series, Robots in Disguise, started off IDW Phase Two, a brand new run of main comics to replace the by-then completed The Transformers (2009). To celebrate this momentous occasion, each comic’s first issue got FOUR separate covers, which could be combined to create a large, overarching image. MTMTE’s looked like this when all the covers were put together.

The cover art here is by Alex Milne, who is on as the main artist for the series, but he’s not on issue #1- no, for our foray into this comic run, we see the return of Nick Roche.

The last time Roche and Roberts worked together was on Last Stand of the Wreckers, and other than MTMTE #6 and the Revolution one-shot, they won’t be teaming up again within the IDW run.

On a potentially-related-but-more-of-just-a-humorous note, it seems that Roberts is a huge stickler with his scripts, going into what sounds like an honestly horrific amount of detail for each individual panel. The average comic script is either between 20-23 or 28-30 pages long, not counting title and credit pages. Roberts has been cited as sending in comic scripts that approached 50 pages.

Which, if you know anything about the scriptwriting process, is a little… yeah. It’s a very good thing Roberts seems to be able to take criticism.

ANYWAY.

IT’S TIME.

The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye- Liars, A to D Part 1: How to Say Goodbye and Mean It- holy fucking shit that’s a long title- starts off with the Story So Far, a comic book classic to catch readers up on what’s happened prior to the issue. The very nature of a Story So Far will become plot-relevant much later down the line, but as is, it’s just reminding us what happened during Phase One, in as basic a point as it can.

And then the credits are right underneath.

I can’t even imagine how friggin’ good seeing this printed must have felt.

So, what’s going on in the premiere of the sad, gay, space comic?

Not my phrasing, by the way, but the Wiki’s.

So, the war’s over. What does that mean? Well, a lot of things, honestly, but the first thing we’re given in terms of what changes to expect with everyone’s favorite space robots is in relation to their wardrobes. Yeah, without a war to fight, what’s the point in having relatively identical blocky armor that protects all your insides? It’s time to get skimpy.

Rodimus has switched out his toned calves and discernible ankles for the Uggs that are now positively iconic to his character. Drift’s mass has almost completely gravitated to his thighs, making him the curviest thing this side of the Milky Way. Ultra Magnus didn’t get the memo about not needing to be in uniform anymore, I guess, but somehow I doubt he owns anything casual.

Rodimus, Drift, and Magnus are holding a rally to invite Autobots to come on their party-barge to find the Knights of Cybertron, in an effort to heal the planet, because Rodimus took one look at post-war Cybertron and said “no thanks.” Honestly, I think most would, if these properly colored characters are any indication.  

Just the Autobots, by the way. We aren’t ready to be friends with the ‘Cons just yet. Swindle did some major damage on that front.

Prowl and Wheeljack are off to the side discussing this turn of events, and while Wheeljack seems to think that a lot of folks will be boarding the ship and getting the hell out of dodge, Prowl’s expecting nothing to come of it.

So, that was yesterday. What’s going on today?

Inside Kimia, there’s a dead guy. He wasn’t dead when he was brought in, but he is now. Who is he, anyway?

Oh, he’s one of the NAIL protesters, and he died because he was protesting by way of transforming on the steps of Autobot HQ, until his transformation cog burn out. Yep, that can kill you. Ratchet’s the one who performed the autopsy, as per Metalhawk’s request- he only wanted the best of the best on this.

Too bad the best of the best is starting to slump. After a brief scare with Rigor Morphis- the stiffening of the corpse into the body’s preferred mode- Ratchet explains to Bumblebee that his hands have started seizing up, and that’s why he’ll be leaving on the Lost Light with Rodimus. He just can’t do the work anymore.

This news is not well received by Bumblebee, who’s just about had it with everyone up and leaving him all by himself with the mess that is Cybertron.

Phase Two will not be kind to Bumblebee.

Bumblebee accuses Ratchet of having been insnared in Rodimus’ siren song of reclaiming the Golden Age, but c’mon, this is Ratchet! He’s too cynical to fall for that. He’s more interested in finding the Autobots who’ve been lost over the millennia to the war. Ratchet’s already well aware of the true purposes of this little galactic road trip, almost like he’s read the plot outline.

It’s about helping people, and adventure, and being unapologetically gay and sad in equal measures.

Up in the sky, Cyclonus is displeased. He spent six million years in the Dead Universe, under the control of a madman, waiting for the moment he could return to his beloved homeworld, and what does he get? A ball of half-baked primordial cookie-dough, and it’s not even chocolate-chip like he was expecting; it’s fucking oatmeal raisin.

Mmm, that is some tasty panel-breaking right there.

Of course, the I/D chip might not have worked anyway, seeing as Cyclonus got a little bit of a boost when Vector Sigma ejected everyone during the Matrix incident. It’s doing some weird stuff to his body, on top of whatever nonsense existing inside the Dead Universe does to a person.

Cyclonus is about to head over to the Lost Light- apparently he and Rodimus made a little deal off-panel- when he detects a familiar life sign and decides to see what that’s all about.

Over in Prowl’s office, things are tense. He and Chromedome can’t even look at each other, as Chromedome reveals that both he and Rewind are jumping on the Lost Light. Prowl doesn’t like this, not one bit. He needs Chromedome, needs his skills, his expertise. He tries to appeal to Rewind, knowing who wears the pants in this relationship.

Or, well, he tries.

Prowl, they’ve been married for over 250,000 years.

In all seriousness, this is slightly before the first tentative steps Roberts took towards making the franchise as gay as he possibly could, at least when going by the story’s chronology. The thing about professional comic script writing is that plotting/planning goes for a ways beyond the current script one’s working on, so that everyone knows where everyone else is. Considering the somewhat congruent nature between MTMTE and RiD, planning ahead was especially important.

Chromedome and Rewind were originally (like, first draft originally) meant to be best friends. This was to fill a void in the department of close relationships Roberts felt within the Transformers franchise. Then Roberts saw how handsy he’d been writing them during plotting and realized he’d made something a little different happen. Which still sort of went with what he was going for, just in a slightly different fashion. Chromedome and Rewind are a rare case of a writer NOT leaning into the “they’re just bros, bro” mentality and just letting the characters be together as romantic partners.

Also keep in mind that it would be another three fucking years before the United States would legalize same-sex marriage, which is where the IDW offices are located. You gotta ease that sort of change in, that way nobody realizes what you’re doing until it’s already been done, then you can go hog-wild. We won’t be hitting critical mass on the homonormative civilization that is IDW1 Cybertron for a solid year or so.

So this bit of dialogue is just the start of the setup, and the “best friend” line is either a leftover from earlier versions of the script, or Prowl really just is that big of an asshole.

Rewind is, of course, recording everything taking place on his handy-dandy little head-mounted camera, because history is his business, and he’s not going to stop recording for the likes of Prowl.

Rewind doesn’t like Prowl very much.

It would seem that the feeling is mutual.

Chromedome suddenly remembers that trying to reason with Prowl is like talking to a brick wall, and the two of them leave. Prowl responds to this slight by yelling in the hallway and then flipping a table.

I sure hope y’all like running gags.

Of course, Prowl wouldn’t be Prowl without having a few contingency plans in place for when things don’t go his way, and he makes a call to his inside guys to “load the cargo.”

That’s not ominous in the slightest.

Six million years prior to all this nonsense, a tiny little dude fell in a hole and broke his legs trying to get to work.

This is Tailgate, and he’s seen better days. Not many, mind you, but at least a couple. He was making his way to the launch of the original Ark, when he decided to take a shortcut that would change the course of his life forever. Hence the whole “stuck in a hole” thing. Still, he’s got to get out of here, because without him, the entire expedition is doomed!

For being an idiot, Tailgate’s pretty smart- he figures that if he sets off his energon rations, it’ll blast up through the roof of the cavern he’s in and someone will be able to find him. Good thing energon’s so incredibly volatile.

Speaking of volatile, let’s jump back to the present and check on our buddy Whirl.

It looks like Whirl also got a makeover between series, because he’s now sporting a much sleeker, angular frame, complete with long, tapered head.

Whirl’s currently busy thanking his new friends for spending so much time with him. It really meant a lot to him, their patience. Not many folks have been patient with him before.

Of course, it probably helps that all these guys are dead as hell.

It’s time for another Roberts’ staple- the suicide attempt. We won’t be using the robot-equivalent to Multiple Sclerosis though. This go around, we’ll be using a classic: self immolation!

Title drop! Bet you weren’t expecting it to have such a dark connotation, huh?

Cyclonus interrupts Whirl’s monologue and suicide attempt. He thought he’d seen his best buddy, Scourge, on his tracker, and his immediate response is to lurk in the shadows looking like a night demon wearing a party hat.

Fun fact: a group of Sweeps is called a Spring Cleaning.

Scourge isn’t here, and he won’t ever be. Scourge most likely died off-panel, never to be seen again, assumedly because nobody wanted to write for him. I think it’s the nails, puts people off.

Whirl doesn’t take kindly to the intrusion, and responds the only way he knows how.

It’s always embarrassing when your self-immolation gets interrupted, but maybe try taking a first deep breaths before committing to more war crimes, Whirlybird.

While these two morons fill the post-Bay movie explosion quota, Red Alert’s hard at work screening the passengers on the Lost Light. Currently, he’s checking Brainstorm, who’s making it as difficult as possible, both legally and emotionally. Red Alert waves him on with a grumble, without even getting a peek at what’s inside his mysterious briefcase.

Up next is Swerve.

His legs are so jacked, it makes me a little uncomfortable. Glad to see Swerve’s body reformat went swimmingly- seems he went for the classic “tires in the shoulders and ankles” model.

Oh hey, it’s Rung! Hi Rung!

This series will not be kind to Rung.

While Cyclonus and Whirl terrorize the folks just trying to get on board the dang ship, Rodimus is feeling rather pleased with himself with the turnout. Drift strokes his ego a bit, because they support each other, but things are still weird because Drift doesn’t know who he is as a person anymore, and Rodimus has a guilty conscience mixed with being the Matrix’s golden child, which really fucks with a guy’s head.

Ultra Magnus goes through the list of the folks joining their quest, and starts running through all their demerits and crimes like it’s his job, because it is. We get a little peek into Magnus’ world view and then it’s back to the Whirl and Cyclonus show.

Also, Drift doens’t have a nose right now. He’ll get it back in time for the next issue, don’t worry.

Over with the flyboys, Cyclonus has decided to land and attempt to reason with Whirl. Not that he couldn’t totally kill Whirl if he wanted to.

He just doesn’t want to.

No, Cyclonus is far more concerned with his meeting with Rodimus, the one that he’s already friggin’ late for thanks to the detour he took checking that life signature. Whirl doesn’t care, far more worried about the fact that Cyclonus saw him talking to desecrated corpses and, far more importantly, vulnerable.

Look at this jackass’ ensemble- demon helmet, a crop top, a skirt and bellbottom pants. What an icon. He and Eugenesis Wheeljack should trade fashion tips.

Whirl still isn’t done with him, even after scraping him across the side of a mountain. Feeling especially artsy, he scoops Cyclonus up and jumps into the air, since he apparently has a hundred-foot vertical leap.

Back in the past, things aren’t going so well for Tailgate.

More cool panel stuff going on here- every time the panels have had rounded corners, it’s been when the scene takes place in the past. Now that the last panel has proper right angles to it, Tailgate’s in the present with everyone else. That middle panel probably covers a couple million years, at least. Poor guy.

Up on the surface, Ratchet’s met up with Chromedome and Rewind, and they’re all walking over to the launch site, Chromedome bitching all the while about how they’ve got to use their legs since Rewind’s alt-mode isn’t a vehicle, but a USB.

Chromedome seems to have forgotten that his tiny husband is small enough to probably just ride on top of his alt-mode, if not directly inside, most likely due to his larger-than-life personality.

Whirl and Cyclonus fall out of the sky before Chromedome can say something that’ll get his ass divorced. Cyclonus gets knocked out cold, having taken the brunt of the impact. Unfortunate, seeing as Whirl’s taking the time to make up lies about him.

You thought I was kidding when I said the armor was skimpy, but here we are, with a shot of Whirl’s battle thong.

Ratchet, who knows Whirl, because he knows everybody, tries to talk him out of straight up murdering Cyclonus. Whirl doesn’t like it when people try to talk him down, and is about to turn on the good doctor, when Tailgate enters the scene, by way of explosion.

Whirl doesn’t handle explosions terribly well. Probably why he was going to use one to kill himself.

With Whirl knocked out, Ratchet and the power couple pull Tailgate out of his hole, where he manages to ask about the launch before freaking the fuck out and fainting at the sight of a rather dead-looking Whirl. To be fair, I can’t think of a whole lot of folks who’d survive getting their tits blown off with enough force to clear a tunnel in solid rock.

You said it, Rewind.

Ratchet grabs Tailgate and Whirl and brings them onboard the ship, seeing as Tailgate seems to want to be there, and Whirl’s too dangerous to be out of sight. They just kinda leave Cyclonus on the ground. I doubt the two guys who were on Kimia last month really want to deal with him.

Rewind breaks off from the group to see his dealer. This dealer isn’t selling the good kush though. He’s got something far more incriminating to offer.

But we don’t get to find out what the fuck Rewind just bought from Swindle for a few more issues. Rest assured, it’s nothing good.

On the bridge, Rodimus is in his captain’s chair, ready to captain it up. The Lost Light raises into the air, as Bumblebee and Prowl watch on, about to exit the atmosphere and begin a adventure filled with hijinks and mild peril.

And that’s a series wrap on everyone! I hope you enjoyed this wonderful one-shot written by James Roberts.

What do you mean there’s 56 more issues?

Alright, let’s see where this goes.

Back on the bridge, there’s alarms and sirens out the wazoo, as things have pretty much immediately gone to shit. The quantum engine the Lost Light’s outfitted with apparently went off prematurely, rocketing them into a completely random quadrant of space.

Also, there’s a hole in the ship, and vacuum physics are doing their thing.

This series will not be kind to Rodimus.

The Lost Light touches down on the planet they popped back into existence over to start looking for all the guys who got sucked out of the ship. They don’t have to look long, seeing as they’re all burning up in the atmosphere.

Welcome to the Lost Light. It’s a friggin’ mess.

Back on Cybertron, the aftermath of the explosion is seen, as Bumblebee and Prowl listen to a message that seems to imply a lot more heartache in the future.

Prowl, you could at least pretend to give a shit.

That’s the end of the story, but not the end of the issue. In the back of the book, we get a welcome letter from James Roberts himself, thanking the reader for taking the time to read the beginning of MTMTE, and holy shit does he really try to sell it to you. This is a guy who wants you to be excited about the story that’s coming your way, because he’s excited about it. He’s a big dork who loves Transformers, and he gets to write about them for the next six years! That’s awesome. 

[gra-sonas]

➡️  EW interview with Tyler from February 2019, right before 1x06 aired ⬅️ 

For a small town, a heck of a lot goes down in Roswell, New Mexico.

The CW drama has it all: there’s aliens, murder mystery, and some pretty steamy romances — that tragically are all on hold for the time being as their participants deal with catastrophic secrets and lies that have the potential to keep them apart indefinitely.

One of the relationships on the show that has stolen fans’ hearts and earned its own moniker on social media (#Malex) is the one between human veteran Alex (Tyler Blackburn) and extraterrestrial jaded genius Michael. In desperate need of more dirt on what’s to come between them and ahead of tonight’s high school throwback episode “Smells Like Teen Spirit” (WHERE EVERYTHING CHANGES!!), we caught up with Blackburn to talk all things #Malex and what the future holds as the truth outs.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Let’s go back to the beginning a little — what was your initial impression of the reimagining of the series and Alex as a character? TYLER BLACKBURN: I remember the original series from when I was younger so when I heard of the reimagining, I was pretty nostalgic about it. I just thought it was great to have a character in this world that’s extraterrestrial  — and pretty unrealistic in many ways — be so real in very human ways and complex. I feel like I can understand his journey a lot; he’s really lost himself throughout his teenage and young adult years. He’s a broken man and I feel like we all understand that idea of needing to pick ourselves back up after losing bits and pieces of ourselves along the way. I just thought it was intriguing to play someone who has so many layers to him in a show that’s also so magical.

Did you then go back and watch the original series or did you want to come at this from a fresh perspective? I actually started watching the pilot of the first run and then I kind of decided that I wanted it to be its own thing and I hope it turns into its own thing, so I didn’t want to be influenced by the old one much. Alex is a very different character and I feel like it wouldn’t have done it justice, so I chose not to.

One of the differences in Alex in this version is that he’s gay. Was the show’s more inclusive nature this time around part of the appeal? Yeah, I feel like the coolest thing that made this very relevant was all of the different topics that were covered, including Alex being gay, including him being in the Air Force as a gay man, his struggle with his own identity, and his struggle with his own emotions towards someone who he feels like he can’t really be with easily. I just found that all to be very appealing. It gets juicer and juicer too, so it’s really cool to play the progression.

Do we get to see more of Alex’s military past this season? This season we do not get flashbacks of that. I actually asked for that, but they were like, ‘It’s not in the budget this season.’

I’m sure that kind of setting wouldn’t come cheap… Right? To create a war zone…So, no, we don’t really get the flashbacks. I feel like what’s interesting this whole season, though, is that he’s needing to confront really old emotions and really the fundamentals of his insecurities. I hope that in season 2 we can kind of see a little bit more of his life as an adult man throughout that time and his journey because even though he never really wanted to join the Air Force, — he was kind of forced to by his father — he found solace in it in a way. I think it was important for him to be part of something, part of a group of people who are fighting for the same thing. In some ways, it was really good for him to be in the Air Force, so I hope that they do explore it a bit more.

Did you have detailed conversations with the writers about his backstory then? To understand where he’s coming from? Oh yeah. One of my favorite things about this whole process was how collaborative it actually was among the actors and also with the writers and with Carina (Adly MacKenzie, show creator). It was fun to sit there and create backstory that isn’t in this season. Some of it’s known by Carina or the writers and we’re just not finding out quite yet, so to get those definite answers was good too. Like, how did he lose his leg? And just learning a little more about that.

Okay, let’s talk about #Malex. Fans are crazy for the romance between Alex and Michael. How has that reaction been for you? Honestly, it just fills me with joy. All of the relationships on this show are complex and have their own nuances to them that I think people can relate to in different ways. But just the fact that a gay relationship is being celebrated in this way — and it’s not even being celebrated because it’s a gay relationship, it’s just being celebrated because it’s such a tangible one that there’s so much history to — I take a lot of pride in that. Working with Michael Vlamis was honestly surprising. I wasn’t sure how it was going to play out and it exceeded every expectation; we created such a magnetic chemistry. We gave permission to each other to just go to the depths that we needed to go to in order to make this a real story. I think that it’s so beautiful that we live in a time where our audiences are celebrating this in that way. It makes my heart so full — it’s progress for sure. Even for Michael, he too is complex. He’s a little more sexually fluid so for him to represent a category of people who aren’t necessarily gay or straight, they just feel what they feel for who they feel it, that’s just a beautiful thing. It really makes his character so juicy too.

How do you think Alex would deal with knowing the truth about Michael? Could a relationship between them withstand that information? I feel like Michael’s being cautious. I think Alex has really given him the runaround up until this point. I don’t think the Michael would have as big of an issue as one might think in telling Alex, I think he just needs to fully trust him first. Because he loves him so much, I think he’d be more willing to be open up. Alex isn’t left completely in the dark for the whole season. You’ll have to watch to see how that unfolds and how that changes the relationship.

Eeek! Speaking of learning new things, let’s talk about tonight’s episode. It’s a flashback to the Roswell inhabitants as teens graduating high school. Was that just so much fun to play Alex as a teen goth kid? Yes! I graduated high school in 2004, so it was close enough to my real high school experience. Honestly, I always secretly wanted to be a goth punk! So I just love that Alex was that. It adds another level to him that I loved playing on where it was like, before all the trauma he was this free-spirited rebel. It’s just really cool to be able to play that then, and now play this closed-off, uncertain version of him. It really takes it full circle.

Was it difficult to leave behind all later traits of Alex’s you’ve picked up over the season? It wasn’t too hard because I feel like I know Alex really well, but it was fun. Some of the content in this flashback was a little hard to shoot. The woodshed scene? That was really crazy to shoot. We spent a lot of time on that scene.

We can’t say anything else about that for now (check back here after tonight’s episode for an in-depth interview with MacKenzie), but one more thing on this episode: Alex’s style! Did you have any say in his hair/makeup/jewelry? [Laughs] Little things were collaborative, like would his nail polish be chipped or would it be solid? Also with costume fittings, that tux really was my favorite suit of all of the ones I tried on for the prom.

We see some tension between Alex and Kyle (Michael Trevino) in this episode, but last week they were bonding a little and Alex seemed to forgive Kyle for bullying him in the past. Can we expect to see more of a friendship between them in the rest of the season? They start to join forces a bit. Trevino and I joked around about being the Hardy Boys going on these little excursions together. They definitely put their differences aside. They always kind of give each other sh—, but they start to understand each other on a different level and care for each other more. They each have skills that can be used to undercover the mystery of what is going on. I don’t want to say too much, but as you saw last episode, Alex found the piece of alien glass and now he has questions that he needs answered, so Kyle’s a source of answers.

Can you tease anything else about what’s to come this season? Tonight’s episode feels like a massive turning point… I’m very excited to see this episode. I remember reading the last script or two and there are some turns that I just really wasn’t expecting in regards to Rosa’s death and things of that nature. I thought we had it figured out and answered, but it’s revealed even more in the finale as far as that goes. So it keeps you hanging until the very end — it’s pretty wild. It isn’t exactly what you think.

~ EW

[tiffersthenerdyficrecs]

DabiHawks Angst Fics.

And This is Who I Really Am, a Phoenix Spitting Flame by Touya_Todoroki

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Dabi/Hawks (My Hero Academia), Iida Tensei | Ingenium/Todoroki Natsuo, Todoroki Fuyumi & Usagiyama Rumi | Miruko, Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Midoriya Inko/Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic Characters: Dabi (My Hero Academia), Hawks (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Touya, Todoroki Rei, Todoroki Fuyumi, Todoroki Natsuo, Todoroki Shouto, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Iida Tensei | Ingenium, Usagiyama Rumi | Miruko, Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Inko, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Eri (My Hero Academia), Shinsou Hitoshi Additional Tags: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Domestic Fluff, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Dabi is a Todoroki, Dabi is Todoroki Touya, All of the Todoroki Siblings are Gay, Dabi and Todoroki Shouto Are Siblings, Extra Crispy Kentucky Fried Hero, Hero Dabi, hotwings, Recovery, abuse recovery, dabi has ptsd, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor's Bad Parenting, Moving On, Small Victories, Therapy, Prolonged Exposure Therapy, Dialectal Behavioral Therapy, Expanding on the First Book's Epilogue, Rei Todoroki is an Angel, dabihawks gift exchange, Gift Exchange, Shibari Summary: After Endeavor's trial, the Todoroki family is taking time to heal and overcome their memories of the patriarch. Touya, in particular, is having a tough time about it. Something just doesn't feel right in the back of his mind.

At least he has his pretty bird. His wings.

A journey of the Todoroki family's recovery, through the eyes of Dabi and Hawks.

crimson headache, aching blush by Inkbrush

Rating: Mature Relationships: Dabi/Hawks (My Hero Academia), Hawks/Todoroki Touya Characters: Dabi (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Touya, Hawks (My Hero Academia) Additional Tags: Dabi is Todoroki Touya, Dabi is Bad at Feelings (My Hero Academia), Getting Together, Enemies to Lovers, Protective Dabi (My Hero Academia), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Wings Summary: Dabi doesn't care for Hawks. He doesn't notice how his wings catch the light. he doesn't love his grinning, sharp mouth. So when Hawks begs a favour, he really doesn't want to help.

Or: When Hawks looks at him, Dabi burns.

Dead Things by Neurotoxin

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warnings: Underage, Rape/Non-Con, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Hawks/Todoroki Touya, Dabi/Hawks (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Enji | Endeavor/Todoroki Touya Characters: Hawks (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Touya Additional Tags: Childhood Friends, Pre-Canon, Alternate Universe, Heavy Angst, Bonding, Developing Friendships, Loneliness, Dabi is a Todoroki, Dabi is Todoroki Touya, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Disturbing Themes, Implied Sexual Content, Teenagers, Everyone Needs A Hug, Dissociation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Not Beta Read, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Memory Loss, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Dreams and Nightmares, Dark subject matter, horror themes, Mythologies lore and Urban legends, descriptions of burning, Mental Instability, Suffering, Implied Medical Experimentation, Graphic Descriptions of Injuries, aftermath of abuse, Victim Blaming, Childhood Trauma, Child Neglect, Rape, Light Masochism, Child sexual grooming, Implied/Referenced Murder, Referenced arson and other crimes, Moral Dilemmas, Like this shit is really sad, really really sad, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Non-Consensual Electroconvulsive Therapy, Non-consensual experimentation, Attempted Murder, Hawks needs to stand up for himself, Dabi needs to chill, He has zero chill in this fic, And hes insane, And a thot, Touya is a creepy little bastard, Lil hawks is a ray of traumatized sunshine, Endeavor is literally the devil, Threats of Death, Threats of Violence, If You Think This Has A Happy Ending You Havent Been Paying Attention Summary: "Hawks met Touya on a sunny spring afternoon, at a calm lake tucked away within the peaceful company of woods and brush. Warm solitude and calm waters. The smell of fresh wild flowers and everything natural.

Touya reminded him of a ghost.

-

Hawks met Dabi on a dark fall night, at a dingy, loud alley tucked away in the midst of the bad side of town. Surrounded by the smell of trash and burnt flesh. Chaos and death.

Dabi reminded him of the dead."

Almost by quirkless_loser

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationship: Dabi/Hawks (My Hero Academia) Characters: Dabi (My Hero Academia), Hawks (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Toga Himiko, Bubaigawara Jin | Twice, League of Villains (My Hero Academia) Additional Tags: Dabi is Todoroki Touya, Dabi Being An Asshole (My Hero Academia), Bad Pick-Up Lines, Fluff and Angst Summary: Dabi recognizes a spy when he sees one. After all, he's been playing a double agent for a while now, and has plans to take down the League and ruin Endeavor's good name. Then the number two hero shows up and threatens Dabi's plans with his horrible acting skills. Dabi will do anything to make Hawks give up his little game. Even if he has to flirt with him to do it.

human colors by ZenzaNightwing

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Category: Gen Relationship: Hawks/Dabi (implied) Characters: Dabi (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Touya, Hawks (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Todoroki Rei, Todoroki Shouto, Todoroki Fuyumi, Toga Himiko Additional Tags: Angst, Dabi is Todoroki Touya, Songfic, Temporary Character Death, sorta - Freeform, Supernatural Elements, quirk musings, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor's Bad Parenting, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor Being An Asshole, dabi-centric, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Non-Linear Narrative, Scars, Burns, Touch-Starved, Character Study Summary: Todoroki Touya burns himself alive.

He is rather disappointed to find that he isn't dead.

A series of interconnected story sections set to the song 'Favorite Color Is Blue' by Robert DeLong and K.Flay.

Canary in a Coal Mine by marreena

Rating: Explicit Categories: Gen, M/M Relationships: Dabi/Hawks (My Hero Academia), Hawks & Usagiyama Rumi | Miruko Characters: Dabi (My Hero Academia), Hawks (My Hero Academia), Usagiyama Rumi | Miruko Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Dabi is a Todoroki, Tags to be added, trans hawks, Character Study, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Angst, but also fluff Summary: There’s two parts to being a hero, wanting to save people and being dumb as shit.

Hawks happened to excel at both.

Dabi brought out both of those sides of him in strides.

and we're going down, yeah, we going soon by unova

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Dabi/Hawks (My Hero Academia), Hawks/Todoroki Touya Characters: Hawks (My Hero Academia), Dabi (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Touya Additional Tags: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Dabi is Todoroki Touya, Dabi is a Todoroki, Dabi and Todoroki Shouto Are Siblings, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst Summary: “Do it,” Dabi coughs, staring up at the winged hero towering over him. Blood is trickling from his mouth, yet he still manages to grit his teeth in defiance. He growls, almost miserably, “Finish your job.”

The crimson knife trembles in Hawks’ hand. He can’t.

Or: In which Hawks is assigned to kill Dabi, but ends up falling in love with him instead.

A Hateful Way Of Living by Hightress

Rating: Mature Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Dabi/Hawks (My Hero Academia), Hawks/Todoroki Touya Characters: Dabi (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Touya, Hawks (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko Additional Tags: Dabi is a Todoroki, Dabi is Todoroki Touya, Dabi and Todoroki Shouto Are Siblings, Dabi (My Hero Academia)-centric, Canon Compliant, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor's Bad Parenting, Angst, Non-Graphic Smut, double agent hawks, Betrayal, Character Study Summary: He never expected Hawks to stab him in the back.

To Feel Alive by Alois_Trashy

Rating: Mature Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationship: Dabi/Hawks (My Hero Academia) Characters: DabiHawks - Character, Mentions of Todoroki Family Additional Tags: M to be safe with the violence, Dabi is a Todoroki, mostly angst, Hopeful Ending Summary: A part of Dabi's life told through snapshots. Each dealing with a weather pattern and one of the senses.

[kittenshift-17]

Heyy, Shy-Aspiring-Writer here! As an author of both single pairing and multi pairing fics (I.e. tip of my tongue v. fervidity) which do you prefer to write and why? Also do you have any advice when writing either, I find myself starting to write single pairs but then with every secondary character, I’m like... woah... all three of that or four or five of that...would be hot. But I feel like I’m ruining the actual story with it so Thoughts? Also I love all your stories, you fanfic Queen!

Hi honey!

I definitely prefer single-pairing fics, if I’m being honest. Predominantly because the dynamic is the easiest to write, and it’s the easiest to explore in the sense of a romantic and sexual relationship. When it’s just Person A and Person B are getting freaky/madly in love it’s easy to explore their personalities, their feelings for each other, and their lives.

By comparison, multi-pairings/triads/polfy-fics are HARD WORK! I really don’t recommend anyone without a background actually living a polyamorous lifestyle, or a lot of experience both as a person and a writer, attempt to tackle the dynamic. And I say this for two reasons.

First, polyamory is NOT just a whole bunch of folks tossed on a bed and all immediately comfortable and willing to get freaky together. If you can’t, as a writer, handle the dynamic that Person A, Person B, Person C, and Person D, for example, all have different shit going on - be they issues of jealous emotions over the dynamic between the other members in the relationship, feelings of insecurity/inadequacy, or just generally not being entirely comfortable with all other members of the quartet without some coaxing, and trust-building, and love (especially in the early stages) - the writing can get messy and/or wildly unrealistic.

Second, you need a foundation of writing skill to build upon if you want to handle the first reason with any kind of aptitude. If you can’t climb inside every single character you throw into the pairing and give them all the differing traits, feelings, and characterisitcs, they’re all going to read as nothing more than thirsty horn-dogs and the people of the poly community are going to be annoyed about another misrespresentation of their lifestyle. 

Polyamory is not just a group of guys and gals, be they cis/het/pan/bi/ace/gay/trans/NB, all just pounding away at each other in the bedroom, and to respresent it that way is unkind and tends to just read as bad and unrealisitic porn. 

While I do understand the urge to be writing, say Hermione and Draco getting it on and having Harry pop in and be like, “hey, mind if I join in?” it’s really not as simple as all that. Don’t get me wrong. There are times when I’m working on a scene, and I think, “You know, a little Sirius in my Snamione would be just the thing to break this tension” but it’s sooooo not that simple. We’re talking two men who abolsutley loathe each other and try to maim each other whenever they lay eyes on the other, suddenly being like, “Oh yeah, sure. Hermione is here and so hot, we’ll ignore a lifetime of hatred to get our bone on.”  (I’m dealing with this very issue in my triad marriage law fic with that three, Limerence Laws, and oh my god, it is tough.) 

It’s doable, and one of my best friends, Freya Ishtar, writes poly-fics with an unparalleled skill in my opinion, so if you really want to try your hand at it, I recommend devouring her stories (and leaving glowing reviews *winks*), and learning everything you can from the way she handles it all. But as I said, I personally prefer single-pairing stories to write, and frankly to read, as well. When I do read a poly fic without knowing on the way in that it’s poly, I do tend to find it a bit jarring and even a bit annoying. Like, I’m here for the Thormione, clear off Antonin! Or “Hey, Ron, get out of my Pots&Pans fic with your freckles and your big willy, could ya?”

Personally I tend to find even when I do read poly fics (and I confess I usually stick to Freya’s or my own) I do still tend to find myself drawn to one pairing over the others. Like, in Fevridity for example. I love writing the scenes with Hermione and Severus because they’re so intimate and detailed and there is so much tension. I like writing her with Thorfinn for the simplicity of just needing a good cleanout of the pipes, as it were. But actually writing her with Draco and Rabastan in those threesome scenes? Tricky. Complicated. I’ve got a whole other set of hands to worry about making sure that Bass doesn’t have one on Hermione’s boobs, one on Draco’s ass, and one stroking himself, because he aint’ got three, you know what I mean? The dynamic of everyone’s different emotions is fun for me to write because I like exploring the aspects of jealousy and apathy and attraction between so many different strong personalities, so it’s a challenge for me, which I like. 

But I confess that if I was still new to writing, I’d never have dared attempt a story like that because there are just too many components that rely on being able to write realistically and to build a scene with complexity, rather than just a three-second thrill of ZOMG THREESOME! You know? 

I don’t want to discourage you in the slightest, and I’m so thrilled you’ve reached out to me for some advice, but you’re right in saying that added people in a partnership, sexual or planontic, can 100% ruin a story. I tend to think of it all in the sense of that feeling you get when you find out your bestie went shopping with some other hoe you’re not fond of, or even if you love the other hoe to death, too, you’re still like “But... why didn’t they invite me?” That feeling can be one of the toughest things to throw into a triad/poly fic, but it’s one of the most important because no matter how well-adjusted we might be, humans, as a species, tend to lean toward feelings of insecurity at the slighest hint that something or someone we love might prefer someone else.

I’d love to read something you’ve written, if you feel up to sharing it with me? I’m happy to beta-read and provide some guidance if you want it? Let me know! And good luck, honey. May the odds be ever in your favour.

xx-Kitten.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

thinking about jared kleinman hating himself and not being able to directly express affection for evan and totally being in love with him but even less able to directly express that, not only just because of the terrible communication of every single character but also because jared probably is assuming he’d be rejected by evan if he let on how he really feels / would find out that evan doesn’t feel similarly towards him.......knowing about evan’s supposedly hetero crush for however long evan’s been telling him about it...........having evan value this nonexistent friendship more than his actual relationship with jared and shutting jared out when jared’s trying to get closer............seeing evan try to believe his relationship with zoe could work and be Real and the fact that the scene which cements that Jared Is Upset With Evan starts off with jared inviting evan to come over and drink and ends with jared leaving after seeing zoe come over and kiss evan...................the fact that the good for you argument Arguably would seem to convey to jared that evan really doesn’t genuinely care about him on any level.............that jared is this kid already doing badly too at the start of everything and then he gets his Deep Insecurities(tm) confirmed and his crush kind of discards him even before gfy but then gfy is jared’s last ditch effort to change things by doing his best to get as close to directly addressing his issues as he can and the guy who he’s totally in love with and who’s his only friend only like, doubles and triples down on discarding jared..........

the fact that anyone interprets jared getting lashed out at in that scene as just like, some form of equilibrium in that this is just his comeuppance for Being A Bad Friend b/c that’s totally all his character is, is The Bad Friend.........it amazes me.......like jared wasn’t the one always approaching evan from the start, literally, evan doesn’t seek jared out, jared walks up to evan to talk with him......jared trying to take the chance to involve himself in evan’s life by offering up his computer skills, b/c speaking of equilibrium evan is jared’s only friend just the same as jared is evan’s only friend and thus every bit of evan’s loneliness must also be present in jared..........jared doing everything he does just for evan’s sake and to back him up and even when tcp starts up which isn’t just evan doing what he has to to get through this scrape anymore but is about trying to add on to the situation and build something entirely out of his own lies for the sake of what evan thinks can be good about said lies and jared backs him on this too and at the start of act 2 we see him still doing emails, offering to be more involved in tcp...........even after being pushed away jared’s still trying to follow evan and trying to be closer to him b/c when he’s making the rosh hashanah invitation he’s already got most of the bitterness he brings into gfy but he’s setting that aside and reaching out..............jared modifies “friends” to “family friends” and deflects the implication of having any Real attachment to evan and people are like “wow how cruel he’s the worst” but later on we learn that apparently prior to that evan was indirectly calling jared Not A Friend if he was spending junior year saying that he has no friends and even later on than that evan tells us that he knows he’s jared’s only friend so it’s not that evan truly internally believed that jared didn’t consider him a friend, it’s just that evan wasn’t satisfied with jared’s friendship, which frankly would’ve been true even if jared Had been better at being the kind of For Forever-y friend evan apparently wanted (see: my Hit Argument “jared kleinman and michael mell have such similar roles you fools”) and it’s fine evan isn’t thrilled with jared’s failure to directly verbalize any affection and attempts to hold him at arm’s length (which, my god, the hand on the shoulder during the “we’re family friends” bit.....not only is it gay, it’s...a visual metaphor??) but what evan does in gfy is not like, just the fair and just reaction to jared’s failures......it’s the same as it was with alana just before......evan implies that alana doesn’t genuinely care about the nature of what they’re doing with tcp, and he doesn’t say it because it’s true, he says it because if it WAS true, he wouldn’t have to be the one in the wrong because at least he does care about the potential good tcp can do. and when evan lashes out at jared it’s because he can’t handle feeling like he’s in the wrong right now and he’s been shutting jared out and so now he’s just doing what he can to shut down everything jared’s saying just because in this moment evan is having this crisis where he’s In It deeper than ever and it’s about to fall apart and he needs to believe he’s definitely been in the right but all the ways he’s been neglecting and resenting the people who are Really in his life but on the wrong side of the divide between “my world of lies” and “the fantasy world in which i’m playing a part born of my world of lies and i’m trying to believe that i can stay here and it can be genuine because IF this had all been true it would be totally fine right”

like we’re obviously not meant to think jared’s a great friend, obviously we’re meant to know evan’s not happy with jared’s friendship, but jared doesn’t ever do to evan what evan does to jared in gfy.........evan’s not dealing out harsh truths, he’s just trying to lie to himself harder than ever in this last ditch effort and also convince himself he’s justified in and capable of leaving his reality-based life behind and pretend he’s impervious to what everyone’s dealing at him in gfy..........we know heidi and alana and jared are flawed and that none of their relationships with evan are perfect and evan hasn’t been happy with these relationships but that doesn’t mean the gfy scene is about how evan is just finally fairly giving them what they all deserve. he’s not telling the truth, he’s just lashing out at them to protect himself from the truth. he basically tells jared that he has to help evan yet has no right to be acknowledged as a friend even though evan knows jared does consider him a friend...........like, what kind of messed up message is that to throw at someone? and he’s not doing it because he’s fed up with jared in any overarching way, he’s doing it because jared’s fed up with how evan’s been treating him recently and evan can’t deal with that conflict right now. evan cutting down jared’s version of saying “you should remember i’m your friend” with “no, and i know i’m your only friend so you don’t have any other options either, and instead of the stuff you did to help me with the emails and tcp being reason to remember you’re my friend, it’s just reason you have to continue to help me with that stuff because you’re just complicit” is like........truly giving him the message that he doesn’t care about jared in any capacity, and that’s in no way equivalent to or the natural consequence of jared saying “yeah we’re friends but only because our moms are friends” or teasing evan at any point or failing to be especially supportive.............neither jared nor evan are supposed to be amazing friends to each other and evan is definitely not supposed to be this beacon of purity, and if anything what jared says about stuff is always meant to be these perceptions that are more accurate re: reality than the stuff evan says is.........everyone who reacts to canon as “evan had pure motivations at all times and was a perfect, unselfish, doesn’t-even-think-things-that-aren’t-nice soul from the very beginning; meanwhile jared was a jerk who likes to be mean and doesn’t appreciate how perfect evan is and doesn’t deserve him and when evan is mean to him it’s because it’s the harsh truth that jared has earned” is wild and so wrong in so many ways

like, all the seniors are so similar, evan only has jared as his friend, jared only has evan as his friend, evan is deeply unhappy and in a bad place at the start of the play, jared is deeply unhappy and in a bad place at the start of the play, evan is dealing with unrequited love, jared is dealing with unrequited love for someone he actually knows, evan hates himself, jared hates himself...................like, my essay comparing the sympathy given evan and the (lack of) sympathy given jared is forthcoming (also with the understanding that the sympathy often given evan is pretty much just as wrong, seeing as it’s not helpful to interpret the self-destructive traits resulting from anxiety as Pureheartedness) 

like ugh jared is unhappy and lonely and is in love with evan and is afraid of loving evan because he hates himself and imo thinks that evan can’t love him back because evan is in love with someone for (i was going to say that evan is in love with someone for traits so unlike jared’s but actually it’s like....never really explained why evan actually likes zoe. what’s up with “if i could tell her” doing absolutely nothing to say why evan likes zoe in the first place; what’s up with “only us” doing absolutely nothing to say why zoe likes evan. either zoe/evan wishes it had what jeremy/christine has or we truly are meant to view the whole relationship as indisputably unfounded)......at least evan is in love with a girl and desperately going “no homo” at jared which, sure you could just think that evan might assume zoe would think it’s too weird to date her dead brother’s secret gay high school lover, but still, jared’s the one out here trying to come out to evan and telling him there is nothing unrealistic about the love that one man feels for another and it’s something quite beautiful, and evan is the one acting weird about it..........not exactly the kind of thing to inspire confidence to confess your secret gay high school crush. and sure jared can’t directly communicate his attachment to evan in words, but he communicates it in the things he does. and is it more Significant that jared doesn’t want to sign evan’s cast (which, the whole cast-signing exercise isn’t some objective Friendship Test anyways, it’s just serving the purpose of a Personal Worth Litmus from evan’s unvoiced perspective) or that jared goes to great lengths to back up evan’s lie for no personal benefit to himself other than feeling closer to evan, and that jared supports evan on tcp despite there definitely being no further personal benefit, and that jared keeps trying to remain close to evan through emails and trying to offer his help with tcp instead if that’s more relevant and trying to invite him over and feeling bitter that evan doesn’t want to give him the time of day anymore now that he’s got something new and not even real..........but he wouldn’t sign evan’s cast so none of that counts for anything and he deserves gfy then huh

like yeah evan doesn’t HAVE to consider jared a friend. but again it’s only convenient for evan himself to decide to invoke that during gfy and never prior. it would be fair if after the opening scene with jared evan decided “okay that proves that jared isn’t my friend” (or okay maybe not really “”fair”” because it doesn’t Actually prove that; it’s only by evan’s own standards of what friendship ~should~ look like that he considers his interaction with evan to be a Letdown, same as how he considers his interaction with alana to be a Letdown) but yeah he could decide not to consider jared a friend after that for whatever reason because he doesn’t really need a Valid Enough reason, if you don’t wanna be friends with someone you don’t have to be friends with them. but evan then is Repeatedly video calling jared to vent the wild shit going on with him and says he’s doing it because jared’s his only friend, which is understandable but it’s evan choosing to continue at least behaving like jared really is his friend whether or not he considers him to be one, and evan letting jared help with the emails for a Genuinely Nominal Fee is clearly a result of jared considering them to be friends in a way that just so happens to also be convenient to evan in this issue, and jared helping with tcp for no other reason than it’s what evan wants to do is jared considering them to be friends in a way that happens to be convenient to evan in that matter, and evan just assuming that jared will continue to provide emails and back tcp in perpetuity?? doesn’t line up with any idea that evan is truly considering them to be Not Friends and is behaving in a way that reflects that. everything jared does is in support of evan and the way jared is repaid is just by getting to be more closely involved with evan, but even before act 1 is over, even by sincerely me, evan is trying to leave jared behind, thus negating what motivates jared, yet is expecting jared to continue to help him despite sabotaging jared’s motivation for doing so. 

like, evan is benefitting from jared’s desire to deepen their relationship, and it’s not that evan Has to consider himself closer to jared just because that’s what jared wants, but like.........he just doesn’t treat jared fairly. he can believe that $20 is enough compensation, he can believe that it’s none of his concern what’s motivating jared to write the emails and be involved in tcp, he Could plausibly be totally ignorant of the fact that jared was helping him because he considered evan to be his friend, and if that was the case he Could believe he’s innocent of taking advantage of that. and imo in good for you this is what evan’s kind of trying to pretend is true because if it WAS true then evan’s not in the wrong. and just like everything else, if it IS true, or at least if nobody knows it’s NOT true, it COULD be fine and possible for him to live out this fantasy where he’s this weird connor substitute but also....dating zoe....and leaving behind his imperfect mom and imperfect friends but not needing to feel guilty about it. he’s arguing with jared in gfy as if it’s true that evan wasn’t aware the whole time that jared was helping him because evan’s his only friend, as if jared was and should be helping only because the fact he chose to help in the first place means he’s in it as deep as evan. but evan WAS aware that jared was helping him for a reason, and that reason wasn’t $20. the whole time evan knew that jared was helping him b/c evan was his friend. and no evan didn’t Have to be a friend for jared in return b/c he never agreed that he should owe jared that, but evan Was knowingly benefitting from jared’s desire for evan to be his friend, and that’s undeniably messed up. and imo evan Knows This and feels conflicted and guilty about it and that’s why in gfy, when he’s trying to convince himself he can still be the good guy and none of these people who are angry at him are justified, he points out that jared would be alone without evan (reducing jared’s desire to be closer to evan as selfishness) and that jared would be in just as much shit as evan if the truth came out (also trying to force jared’s motivation to continue backing the lies into the frame of selfishness)...........like to argue that at that point evan is bein righteous b/c he Just Doesn’t Owe Jared Anything is at least acknowledging that evan’s basically been like....platonically Leading Jared On. if he had truly been ignorant that jared wanted to be his friend then it would still be a bit conveniently self-serving for him to be satisfied accepting jared’s help without knowing jared’s motivation for doing so........and if he had known that jared truly considered him a friend as he implies he knew all along then he Did take advantage of that by Again Conveniently allowing jared to operate under that assumption because it benefitted evan. if he stopped considering jared a friend then he shouldn’t have done that. it’s passive and at worst it’s lying by omission but it’s still not solely jared’s fault if he were trying to be friends with evan when evan didn’t want to be friends with him. evan was letting jared pursue this friendship because it helped him. if he didn’t want to be friends with jared, he should’ve tried to figure out why jared wanted to help him, and if he knew it was because jared Did want to be his friend, he should have refused that help. and evan Did know that it was because jared wanted evan to be his friend, but he didn’t refuse the help. tldr what i’m trying to say is that any way you look at it, it’s not that jared has some inalienable right to evan’s friendship, but jared Did have reason to feel he’d been played by evan, and evan knew that jared wanted evan’s friendship and if there was any justified time to pull the “you only want to be my friend because you have nobody else and so no, i don’t have to consider you or treat you like a friend” move, it was after (or before) jared’s first appearance and before evan videocalled jared to vent “because you’re my only (family) friend”

ugh like of course evan has Reasons he has grievances with heidi and alana and jared but gfy isn’t about evan being justified as it is about the other three being justified in their anger at evan, while evan is the one trying to justify himself. it’s not that evan is 100% In The Wrong in all ways in that scene but it’s like....definitely Peak Evan’s Wrongness. and reacting not by abandoning the lies but to double down on them b/c he thinks he truly can’t handle abandoning the lies is what dooms him to Words Fail. classic ev

UGH anyways it’s just that jared does get used and does get evan accusing him of having no real feelings in all of this and seeming to reject any of jared’s feelings for him in particular, and he loses his only friend, and he’s heartbroken, and evan lets him go but jared never stops keeping the truth a secret, and that’s just the last we get to know about him

like god......thinking about jared hating himself, and thinking about jared crying during good for you..................jesus christ

i mean, we only see things from evan’s perspective, and when jared disappears from evan’s literal or figurative field of vision, he disappears to the audience too. we don’t see jared at home in his bedroom, we don’t hear jared’s inner conflicts through solos, we just glimpse him through sincerely me and “if you only say the word from across the silence your voice is heard” and his gfy solo lines.......like, it’s so centered around evan that jared and alana irony of ironies do just ultimately Disappear..........how much is deh’s Final Form still haunted by the Untitled PPL Project origins where evan was presumably Our Sympathetic Hero and everyone else was dumbass cautionary-tale jerks worth our headshaking or tsks or contempt...........saying it wasn’t even until after the arena stage run that jared was given the Emotional Journey that extends into act 2..............like, the domination of evan’s perspective continues even though the other characters are fleshed out and sympathetic and all meant to be conflicted and flawed to fairly equal degrees. and that’s not necessarily Bad, especially for a main character with reason to be really caught up in his own head, but it certainly means that anyone who interprets evan’s perspective as Righteous and The Moral Standard within the material is going to negatively judge literally all the other characters as officially in the wrong, as they all end up at odds with evan at some point

it’s just like....people don’t afford jared the same assumption of interiority as they do evan. people assume that what’s on the surface, that the deflective nature of how jared communicates, is a true reflection of the whole of jared’s being. people act like the character is light and doesn’t carry real emotional weight and that “i know you think this is all a big joke” must be true, and that jared responds in increased frustration because.........he totally thinks it’s all a big joke. jared is so similar to evan, just like the other two seniors are, and jared only has one friend and we don’t even have evidence that evan consistently calls jared a friend, and all the evidence of the distance between jared and evan is evidence of jared’s isolation just as much as evan’s, but it’s like people just don’t think that has as much importance, because jared’s joking around about jerking off, he’s clearly fine!! if he only had one friend and Truly valued evan, the only way he could show that would be to prostrate himself before evan and weep upon seeing him!! acting like he doesn’t care about being close to evan because he’s totally so fine and confident and has so many friends should be taken at face value as true! 

ugh like we sympathize with evan for being afraid of people, but jared is afraid of people too, but where evan is trying to protect himself by being as inoffensive and inobtrusive as possible, jared is trying to protect himself by acting like he just isn’t scared of anyone at all and can’t be hurt because he doesn’t care. and evan’s suffering is justifiably given recognition, but jared just gets ignored and dismissed as a jerk, despite suffering in the same way. we aren’t told that jared is diagnosed with an anxiety disorder or with anything else, and we aren’t ever told that jared ever tried to kill himself, but this isn’t because these kinds of things couldn’t possibly be relevant, but rather because we just aren’t told much about jared at all. we only learn about jared through jared, who mostly only interacts with evan and is never onstage without evan also being onstage, who deflects all the time, who never tells his parents anything true about himself. nobody really knew connor and evan feels like nobody really knows him and nobody seems to really know jared and we sure don’t have any evidence of anyone really knowing alana. and in the end jared is left with no friends at all and this fresh rejection and parents who he thinks have no idea that they don’t know anything true about him, and he was not doing well when he first appeared, and his whole journey was a desperate attempt to improve things, and it left him even worse off than when he started, and we see jared as this light jokey role reducible to “memes & rude”?? 

that’s at least less horrifying a reaction than reducing him to “a jerk who gets his comeuppance.” like, again, jared is a highschooler in an awful place at the start of the play, canonically so so similar to alana and evan and connor, and connor kills himself and we sympathize with how horribly evan is suffering and the seriousness of the suffering of anyone in similar situations..............and jared is one of those people, one of those teenagers tcp is supposed to address, he’s a 17 year-old who IS similarly suffering, and we interpret him as...just a jerk. someone who causes all his own problems because he’s not nice enough and who deserves what he gets in the course of events; someone who is so similar to evan but ends up feeling rejected by his only friend, betrayed by his own attempts to have a realer relationship and be closer to someone in a more genuine way, without any reason to believe he at least has the emotional support of his parents who don’t know anything about him..........and we just feel this is what he deserves because he teases evan too much and didn’t sign his cast and called them family friends. 

and even the sympathy given evan is pretty messed up like i mentioned earlier because it’s REALLY not useful to interpret his anxiety as being Too Pure For This World. it’s not even who he really is - see: evan being himself around jared during sincerely me; aka not being at all quiet and polite and inobtrusive - see: evan clearly not being accurate when he tries to make a good impression on zoe by saying he doesn’t even think things that aren’t nice. evan doesn’t exhibit those anxious defensive behaviors because he Wants to, he acts that way because he’s scared of people and trying to avoid being hurt. saying that this is Pure And Soft is messed up and just reinforces some notion that evan needs to stay that way rather than be a happier person by learning how Not to feel like he always has to act nice and avoid any conflict and not speak up or stand up for himself. saying that these kinds of perspectives, when you’re scared of everyone and expecting to be hurt by the world for existing if you don’t protect yourself by trying to give people zero reason to take objection to anything you do or even notice you exist at all, is just Purity and Kindhearted Selflessness is really just a harmful concept. it says that people dealing with that should continue to suffer just as they are and that for their experience with this to improve would necessarily involve them becoming worse as people - meaner and more selfish and less deserving of sympathy.

meanwhile, jared’s way of reacting to his fear that he’s going to be hurt by anyone and everyone just for existing happens to be less appealing to people. evan tries to get through life by hoping nobody directs any attention to him, jared is trying to get through it by controlling the way people give him attention, by sending out a signal that also says “there’s no reason to mess with me,” except that instead of like how evan is trying to please and placate everyone, jared is trying to pretend he’s confident and doesn’t care and he’s trying to withhold access to his real emotions from absolutely everyone. he’s trying to deny his real desires even to himself and keep them buried and hidden, but these desires are so desperate that he can’t, because he’s trying to pretend he’s fine, but he’s really really really not. but he’s just a jerk because he makes fun of his friend and isn’t nice enough to evan within the parameters of what evan wants that to look like. jared’s whole motivation throughout the show is his being in love with evan, but people really are gonna believe that jared’s just doing everything because his sole driving force truly is “it’s all a joke haha”.......jared and alana both try to act fine and unaffected, and everyone just immediately accept that. when they have the slightest amount of conflict with evan or behave in ways that we as the audience know aren’t evan’s ideal hope for how they’d act, they’re jerks and/or bullying evan and pushing him around, because god knows where people get this idea that evan’s constantly completely passive and just gets pushed into the position he finds himself in by other people, but absolutely nothing in canon material supports that. jared and alana are the ones backing evan up during disappear, and they’re the ones who end up disappearing after that, and we just go “who? oh yeah those two. w/e they’re fine”

like, irl people really don’t know what it looks like when people aren’t nt, what it looks like when they’re affected by something traumatic, what it looks like when they’ve been isolated and left to deal with awful things on their own and are struggling and aren’t coping in ways that appeal to others and they just get painted as weird and unpleasant and generally bad. and really this real-world ignorance and these misconceptions are Emergent in how people react to reflections of these issues in media / through media analysis. pretty wild that connor and alana and jared can all be reduced to Jerks depending on who you ask!! even that evan sometimes gets called a jerk because someone has noticed that he’s struggling horribly AND he’s also not REALLY Pure And Goldenhearted And Selfless, so therefore he doesn’t Deserve to be sympathetic b/c he’s anxious and suicidal, since the only people who deserve sympathy for these uncomfortable and inconvenient things are people who are Otherwise Perfect and have earned being regarded as Unjustly Afflicted with these issues and worthy of our pity

when people have to struggle to navigate terrible stuff by themselves, they don’t always figure out the right way to do it by 17 years of age!!! none of the deh seniors are actually Good at coping with their lives yet! they’re all trying but they’re self-sabotaging and are really just isolated further by the ways they try to interact with others. they’re isolated and the ways they desperately try to deal with that just isolate them further. like, this shit is real. and the fact that people reacting to these experiences depicted via fictional teenagers is not heartening for how they might understand these kinds of experiences in like, actual life. the way jared acts Doesn’t indicate that he’s totally fine but people truly take it at face value and think jared isn’t affected by things and doesn’t have emotional depth and only cares about being funny and clever. jared keeps people at a distance and acts rude or uncaring as a way to protect himself because he’s scared of people’s ability to hurt him, not because he’s malicious and likes to hurt people’s feelings, but people really just think he’s an asshole who deserves to be hurt in return, because i guess even if he WAS just always trying to be an asshole for his own amusement, we absolutely want the treatment a highschooler receives to be “vengeance,” i guess. it’s just really messed up that not only do most people not have any idea what reactions to things like deep and pervasive fear and depression and stress and sadness and self-loathing actually look like, but so often when they unknowingly see it, if the manifestations come across as too Mean or Unpleasant or Annoying or Offputting, they think the person deserves to be punished and treated badly / with hostility and that you can speculate on how these traits must reflect the deficiencies of someone’s internal worth and the quality of their character. 

like, idk, demeanor is really so so overrated as a measure of what someone’s really like. it’s so often misread but also given disproportionate weight as a reflection of who they really are. i think a fair amount about these two segments i heard: one about Triage where a doctor talks about these two patients and one was very warm and friendly and everyone loved her and one was less pleasant and standoffish, and when the former was having respiratory problems when oxygen was strictly rationed, the attendees considered breaking the rules to give her oxygen (which in the end wasn’t necessary, it cleared up without it) and the doctor was wondering if they’d have been moved to consider that for the less popular patient as well. and the second story where Professional Scientists got to go on the plane that flies in parabolas so that when its at the peak of the arc you experience weightlessness, and you get to go on the plane because you’re doing serious experiments and everything you bring on board has to pass inspection and be justified as Necessary and everything is very planned out and you can’t fool around and you have to conduct all your experiments and the point is it’s all very serious - and the guy was talking about how they all get on the plane taking it very seriously and prepared to conduct theyir serious experiments, but when the first moment of weightlessness came everybody was laughing and clearly having a blast, and had that reaction pretty much each time. but they also stuck to the plan and conducted their serious experiments. and the idea was that “taking things seriously” doesn’t require a solemn demeanor, wipe that smile off your face. and i’m annoyed with the Frequent but unfounded trope in fics where jared communicates things in a humorous way pretty much all the time like in canon but then the fact that he’s still being dryly humorous in a ~serious moment~ leads to him being admonished because he won’t Be Serious or Take This Seriously. 

i’m also annoyed with the frequent, unfounded fic trope where jared gets the “jared, you ignorant slut” treatment b/c he has never known True Pain and only evan and connor Get It and jared’s just some nt asshole who truly thinks everything’s a joke, alana generally also does not know sadness either of course

like relevantly enough, though i relate to jared more, in terms of how i react to Issues i guess i’m kind of most like evan (and a bit like alana i guess), and back in the day when i was earlier along in the process of dragging myself out of the depths of self-loathing (pretty singlehandedly though i wasn’t totally isolated from anyone supportive, which is always helpful) i sort of had this “joke” about it that i was learning how to become meaner lol.............because the ~selfless~ and Nice and Pleasant thing was obviously to think you deserve the worse and should accept whatever terrible treatment you get as Also Deserved and should keep your head down and in every interaction should be as pleasant and nice and convenient and inobtrusive as possible. i pushed myself to believe that i at least didn’t deserve to be suicidal through being contrarian and “mean” and embracing that i didn’t have to care if anyone disagreed. even thinking about the concept that i deserved to stand up for myself was like, Being Mean lol.......thinking about ways in which my experiences dealing with other people made me miserable sometimes finally started to make more sense when i looked at it through a lens of “maybe i wasn’t always getting amazing treatment from everyone ever”..........thinking about my own perspective having as much inherent validity as anyone else’s was like, the undeserved entitlement of it all, lol......like i definitely thought of it and talked about it all as Being Meaner, and i was being humorous, but also not really in an Absurd way b/c i knew and i know that people really do think that like, self-flagellation and only deserving to ascend out of self-hatred if someone else notices you’re experiencing that and deems you worthy of redemption and generally reacting to pain by being a sweet innocent lamb who is utterly bemused by everything All Equals being Nice and Lovely and Worthy Of Pity. and that if you’re not that lamb and you’re not initially pleasant and you’re offputting because you don’t expect other people to treat you well then like, other people aren’t going to treat you well and they’re going to write you off and dismiss you or change how they react to you versus how they react to someone who they think Acts Better and thus Is better............people will see types of behavior that indicate someone is suffering and they’ll either go “wow so kind and pure and not worthy of attention b/c their behavior is inoffensive and they avoid attention anyways and don’t get in the way” or “this person is terrible and they can’t possibly deserve sympathy or a second thought about their inner world because this is proof they don’t have one or it’s Bad and so i’ll either want to punish or ignore them”

this isn’t my first rodeo of “teenage character clearly needs help and people don’t notice this at all and/or inaccurately judges their intentions and motivations and writes them off as a jerk” and the consistency in this kind of Interpretation is always so heartening, really

and don’t even get me started on people calling jared “abusive” or even implying it....not my first rodeo on this either.....but, first of all, same as above, people REALLY don’t know what it Actually looks like when someone’s experienced abuse, and the fact that there’s this tendency irl (and in the emergent reflection of these misconceptions in reaction to / analysis of media) to interpret qualities and experiences and tendencies that are associated with having gone through abuse as people being weird / jerkish / annoying / exhausting etc is.....great. and while i could just say “jared is not abusive and never try to argue that he is” and leave it at that, a real quick example of some observances of why this is the case: jared doesn’t try to control evan. he doesn’t try to undermine evan’s decisions. he doesn’t undermine evan’s emotions. when jared’s unhappy with evan, he’s not trying to force evan to do what he wants, he’s trying to change His Own behavior to get what he wants. when he fights with evan, it’s a back and forth. evan isn’t afraid or even hesitant to argue with jared at any point, and even asserts himself over jared sometimes (whereas jared truly never asserts himself over anyone and avoids real, direct conflict whenever he can). when jared feels rejected and is completely upset with evan in gfy, he just leaves and we’re never told he tries to interact with evan again. look at how they confront each other, whether in gfy or sincerely me. look at how jared tries to get what he wants, and look at how he reacts when he doesn’t get it. he doesn’t try to control what evan can do or demand irrefutable power in any and every situation which he’ll back up with retribution...........evan and jared’s relationship is obviously not in its ideal state and this is coming from both ends. they way they treat each other isn’t always fair and kind and considerate, but it has nothing in the least to do with abuse, even if you think they’re conclusively bad for each other. it’s genuinely harmful to misuse the word abuse and create misinformation about it by doing so, and speaking of taking things seriously: stop doing this. don’t talk definitively about it even in passing if you don’t know what you’re talking about, take it seriously. don’t just try to bolster the authority of your opinion by being all “i’m over here with real criticisms like ‘this is abusive’ while everyone else is faffing around just saying ‘it’s not great, it’s not the healthiest’ like an idiot.” genuinely stop it

ugh....

well anyways i guess i don’t have to Get Around to finally writing that “comparing the way jared and evan are afforded sympathy” essay because this is about as close as i’ll get to it. god i hope i didn’t leave out any major obvious points

tl;dr *thinks about jared crying during good for you*

[virgilssweaterpaws-blog]

The 'Weird' Kids Part 9

A special thank you to @touchstarvedvirgil for helping give some insight into identifying with a demi orientation, their story will be useful alot in the next part. And thank you to everyone who by reblogging or offered insight in other aspects.

This part is dedicated to a special person who has gone through some of these identity issues and I'm proud of them! To everyone who doesn't know how to identify, that's ok too! You'll figure things out in your own time!

Other parts

"You know, I think I can crack you Logan. You're not as cold and robotic as you wish to act." Patton smiled at him, taking a step closer as he tried to keep up with the dance.

"Oh really?" Logan smugly replied, he had purposely moved faster to test Patton's ability to keep up.

"Yup!" Patton's smile was so easily noticable it lit up his eyes. "Give me a week and I'll get you falling for me enough to share your story." For a second his eyes dulled as he thought his comment might of gone too far but when he saw a small smile form on Logan's face they relit themselves.

"You've got yourself a deal, Patton." Logan nodded, drawing the dance to a steady halt before offering out his hand, "One whole week huh?"

Patton nodded in return, shaking Logan's hand. He was determined to figure it out all out.

A loud, deliberate cough brought the two back to reality. Virgil and Roman staring at them, waving, now they had their attention.

"You know, we're meant to be the cute couple!" Roman laughed as Virgil's approached the two.

He steadily put his hands on their shoulders, "you might wanna let go of this hand shake" he softly spoke before walking back to his datemate.

"Oh, um!" "I-Ah!" Neither could form a sentence as they both finally separated and went back to their seats, faces flushed with shades of red.

"Alright!" After a bit of silence Patton decided to regain control, "Are there any issues anyone would like to address?" Virgil laughed at that comment, "Since when have you phrased things like that? It's just a fancy way of asking us all how we are."

"True, but Patton is trying to maintain his leadership, we do have to at least seem a bit like a proper club." Logan defended Patton, glancing over at him to see him smiling back.

"Well, since the whole couples gender therapy, we're doing better relationship wise and in our selves." Roman smiled, holding Virgil closer to them.

"Yeah! And I made an awesome new friend, he's called Remy." Virgil added in. "Honey, I thought your favourites were Kai and Elliott?"

Virgil pretended to look offended. "I said awesome friend, not favourite. Though I do ship those two."

Roman sighed softly, shaking their head before slowly whispering to their boyfriend, "they're already a couple..."

"Ok, well you guys seem to be doing well! So I'll let you both get off now!" Patton waved eagerly as they walked off.

"So Patton, a week huh?" "I told you, I will do it!" They were like this the whole way home, they walked together, laughing and smiling, talking about everything and nothing.

One week...

Patton decided to use social media to his advantage, sending good morning messages, offering to walk him to school, they were even meeting up after school. The more time they spent together, the more Logan gradually softened. The days felt like nothing, the complete opposite to what Patton had expected.

He went into this thinking it was plenty of time, expecting to have a grasp on time. Even Logan found himself lost in the moment some of the time.

It was only when they were on the last day did it all set in, they reached Logan's doorstep and brought their conversations to a close. It was silent, not an uncomfortable one, a silence that hoped time would slow down and that they'd get to be around each other more.

"Well, I guess I'll see you at the club tomorrow." Logan was staring at the floor, somewhat upset that Patton would be busy tomorrow morning before school.

"Yup. The last day, hope you've got your story telling skills ready!"

A small chuckle escaped Logan's mouth, "one day yet."

And so, the two seperated, finishing their last action before the club would start the next day.

And at first it upset Patton, had he not achieved it? How would he help Logan? Ho- "I might take you up on our deal Patton." Logans voice snapped him out of it.

Before that they were listening to the gossip from Roman and life events from Virgil. But now everyone was intrigued.

"I'm asexual. From the looks on your faces, yes I know it's a weird new word, I don't experience sexual feelings. For me, this label took a while to figure out. Because I was in this mindset where I didn't qualify as ace and I felt like there was something wrong with me for feeling this way. But funnily enough I identified as ace before I did bisexual."

"Why is that?" Patton softly asked.

"I thought I was against having sex with females before I ever even considered guys. I told my parents, excited that I figured out it all out and they thought I meant I was gay."

"And they influenced you to experiment with guys..." Virgil softly spoke piecing it together.

"Yes! And I did prefer guys, but when he wanted sex I freaked out and just couldn't go through with it all, I was apologising alot while trying to steady my breath and he was understanding..." Logan paused before continuing, "then I told him about asexuality and he made fun of me so we broke up."

"Oof... That is not ok, I'm glad you left him." Roman broke the tension.

"At least you all know about that now, it does feel better to get off my chest and you know, it might of took alot of time and research but I'm happy to be on the asexuality spectrum."

"There's a spectrum?" Roman questioned. "What other things could you identify with?" Virgil joined in.

"Yes and for a while I thought I was demisexual..." Logan replied, glancing at the confused faces around him. "Demi sexual or demi romantic people only feel that way once there is a strong enough connection."

"Is that the same as most people though?"

"No Roman, there are differences, demi orientations don't feel that initial 'she/he/they are cute' and you can't just start having feelings without knowing the person."

"Demisexual..." Patton mumbled under his breath.

[sorio99]

Well, I just watched the latest episode of Steven Universe (Reunited)

And holy CRAP do I have a lot of thoughts on it.

In a bit, I’m gonna rewatch the whole Stevenbomb and write my thoughts on each episode semi-live, then post them here, but first, just an over-all analysis of the five episodes. Six? No. No, its just five.

Spoilers under the cut.

Well, that was. A lot. Can’t say I was expecting most of it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I saw a couple leaks, so I knew Bismuth was coming back, and just based on the episode titles, I could tell there was gonna be a wedding. Probably between the only official unmarried couple still alive, AKA Garnet. And I suspected Lapis was gonna be coming back at some point, but goddamn. What an entrance.

The whole bomb seemed extremely well-done. It basically centered around two concepts: the revelation of Rose being Pink Diamond, and the relationship between Ruby and Sapphire (which, it turns out, was extremely important in the story of the former). It featured most of the Crystal Gems thoughts on the revelation (minus Lapis and Peridot, since Lapis wasn’t around and Peridot probably wouldn’t be too impacted), as well as the possible dissolution turned certain strengthening of the relationship, all culminating in whatever the hell Reunited was. And I for one loved ALL of it.

Now, to get a bit more specific, lets talk about three aspects: the two I mentioned above, and everyone’s favorite problematic Crystal Gem.

1: The Problem And Solution With Bismuth

Now, if you go back on this blog to when the episode “Bismuth” dropped, you may see a post or two where I mentioned some not too positive opinions of her. I do still stand by the fact that her actions did warrant her “punishment”. After all, merely because Steven (and Rose) didn’t want to shatter any gems, even horrible ones like the diamonds, she tried to shatter Steven (or, as she thought, Rose). That’s obviously a problem, and one that’s really big. I’ve seen people comparing it too how quickly Lapis and Peridot were forgiven, but I think a lot of people are forgetting how important motivation really is in regards to “redemption”. Lapis had been imprisoned for thousands of years, and she believed the CG’s were trying to keep her imprisoned. Peridot was following the Diamonds’ orders and was basically still brainwashed to adore them. Bismuth, meanwhile, was acting on her own, and when she first had an altercation with Rose, all she thought was that Rose didn’t want to permanently kill the Diamonds. Is that understandably infuriating? Yes. To the point of permanently killing HER? No.

That said, I do think the character is ultimately good-hearted, and I do and did think she deserved some form of redemption and reconciliation. I didn’t think the show would have it, honestly, due to how many other threads were being juggled, as well as how she was seemingly unpersoned for quite some time (though, in-universe, would you want to take about your friend who you had to put in jail because they wanted to straight up murder anyone who even THOUGHT to negotiate with the opposition?). And I will agree that the underlying “moral” of her episode, as well as possibly with the one from “Gem Harvest” was a little mistimed given recent... let’s say “world events”. 

Still, I was very interested to see how they were going to deal with her character, and I must say, I was very glad with how they handled her return. I really do think she’s going to be a major CG from now on, at least at the level of Lapis and Peridot. She does make for an interesting foil to the rest of the cast, and she’s just an all-around fun character, both to watch and, I imagine, to write.

2: The Tragedy Of Pink Diamond The Young

So, in “Now We’re Only Falling Apart”, an episode seemingly named after a lyric from a pop-punk song, we learned quite a bit more about Pink Diamond’s life and personality, and by extension, Rose’s. I have seen a couple people on tumblr say “Well, it was still her colony, why couldn’t she just shut it down?” To those people, I say “Did we watch the same episodes?” I think it was pretty clearly demonstrated that it WASN’T her colony anymore, for all intents and purposes. A fact that, now that I think about it, was foreshadowed as far back as “The Answer”. Huh. First time we saw a diamond, and it foreshadowed a reveal from 4 seasons later. I guess it’s appropriate, since this episode also shows how important the events of that episode were, not just to Garnet, but to Pink/Rose, Pearl, and the Crystal Gems as a whole.

Speaking of Pearl, I love how we see her, even before she was a part of Pink Diamond’s “revolution”, thinking her own thoughts. Seriously, SHE came up with the Rose Quartz persona! How freaking cool is that?! On top of that, we see very subtle and not so subtle hints that she really did view Pearl as, if not an equal, at least not a mere servant or trophy. Pearl may have been forced into a life of servitude, but it was never by Rose.

Overall, I think all of the character’s reactions make a lot of sense for who they are. Sapphire and Ruby are both devastated, for much the same reason but shown in different ways. Steven is kinda shell-shocked, but he’s pushing it aside to help others, often at his own expense. Amethyst is seemingly blasé about the whole thing, only to reveal some serious issues about it that she doesn’t want Steven to have to deal with. Bismuth is 

yeah, that. Greg is so used to learning new, sometimes literally world shattering things about Rose that he’s like “Yep, same shit as always”. And Peridot never met Rose Quartz or lived under Pink Diamond, so she really doesn’t care other than “What if the currently LIVING diamonds come to Earth?”

In particular, I think “What’s Your Problem” has my favorite reaction to the revelation, and that’s Amethyst. Like I said, she seemingly takes it really well, but I think anyone who's ever tried to ignore or mask problems they’re having can tell she’s just barely keeping her feelings inside. I really love her reasoning for doing so, though. Not because she doesn't want to deal with it, or because she’s scared or even particularly upset. She’s holding it in because Steven doesn't need it. It honestly reminds me of the “New Crystal Gems”.

Connie: I don't care! So I'm not Steven. Maybe he's really great at helping people work out these arguments, maybe he's really patient and caring, even though it must be hard for him having to be the adult for a bunch of super-powered children! 

Throughout the series, ever since season one really, Steven has had to play Only Sane Man to a bunch of walking, talking, super-powered emotional issues that are millennia older than him. Now, Amethyst has realized “Yeah, that’s stupid, he has his own issues that need to be taken care of, I’m not gonna push mine on him. At least, not anymore.”

I don’t know. I just really liked it.

3: The First Animated Gay Wedding Proposal

Not counting that one joke one in GAoB&M, of course.

Look, I’m a human with emotions, okay? So of course I automatically love Ruby and Sapphire. They’re adorable, they’re badass, and they fuse into a mega-adorable, mega-badass mom. What’s not to love, right?

This is the first time we’ve had multiple episodes in a row of Ruby and Sapphire being, well, Ruby and Sapphire. Seriously, any other time we’ve gotten to know them individually, it’s been in one-episode bursts. And as much as I love Garnet, I’ll be honest, I’d be willing to see less of her if it means seeing more of them.

I saw a few people online talking before the episodes came out about how “Out Of Character” Ruby being happy without Sapphire was. Even Cartoon Network played it up like “Oh, they may never get back together!” But, really, I could see Ruby was lying through her teeth when I first saw the promo where she claimed to be fine. I think people need to get better about telling when a cartoon lesbian rock alien is lying.

...admittedly, that’s not actually that vital a skill.

Nonetheless, I think it was important to show the two of them come to the conclusions they did on their own (sort of? I mean Sapphire had help from Pearl and Steven, and even Ruby got a push from Steven, but you know what I mean). It can be important to take a step back and see what a relationship means to you, and what you really want out of your future together. Wether that means leaving your girlfriend of almost 6 millennia to become a cowboy, or host the first serious LGBTQIA+ wedding in Cartoon History, that’s up to the individuals involved.

Also

these

dorks

are

ADORABLE!!!

So, yeah. Those are my raw thoughts. Play-by-Play reaction coming probably tomorrow! See y’all then.

[cwnerd12]

I swear to god this is the greatest thing I’ve ever written.

Putting it here so I can bask in its glory.

“Rager” David convenes a meeting and tells everyone about Achish’s offer, “I can’t possibly say no to this.” Joel: “It’s a carrot. There’s gotta be a stick he’s hiding somewhere.” David: “Exactly. I’m scared if I don’t agree to it, the people in the borderlands are gonna pay the price.” Abby: “I’ve brought it up before, but we need to consider going to other countries.” David: “Which country, exactly?” Abby: “Moab.” Jack: “Are we really *that* desperate?” David: “We’re pretty fuckin’ desperate.” Jack: “When Moab separated from Jericho, the King of Jericho was happy because for once the trash had taken itself out. Queen Laura is only Queen because she poisoned her husband, and you’ve already been poisoned once!” Michelle: “Okay, Jack, when we met King Norris, he had more fat in his arteries than either of us could eat in a lifetime. I’m pretty sure Laura didn’t have to poison him. Besides, any old man who marries a woman that young is basically asking to get poisoned.” Abby: “In the five years that she’s reigned, Queen Laura has actually donated more of her personal wealth to philanthropy than any other sitting monarch. She’s peacefully settled a lot of disputes between rival militias and actually brokered peace between a few of them. Moab has resources. It has wealth that Gath doesn’t have. Personally, if I had any sort of choice in which country I ended up in, I would have gone to Moab.” Asher: “If we go to Moab, we could get a hotel on the beach.” Jack (muttering): “Uncle William is in Moab. If partnering with Moab means partnering with him I’m fucking leaving.” David: “I’m with Jack, if a partnership with Moab means partnering with CrossGen, I’m not doing it.” Abby: “We can negotiate that.” David (sighing heavily): “Not that it matters, anyway. We’re stuck here in Gath until we can get the Borderlands issue resolved. Is there some way we can… just make Achish want nothing to do with us?” Abby: “What do you mean?” David: “If we could get Achish to no longer trust us, but without being treacherous, like… if we could convince him we’re unreliable, useless, even, and we’ve been incredibly lucky, but we’re not a threat to him.” Asher: “You want him to think we’re a bunch of idiots.” David: “Yes! Look, we’ve met with Achish, talked to him, right? But we haven’t really shown him who we are. What if I can convince Achish that I’m just a dumb piece of meat that people flock to because I’m hot?” Jack: “You are hot, babe.” David: “Thank you, Jack.” Michelle: “If he thinks you’re an idiot, he’ll throw you out and put Jack in charge.” David: “What if we’re all idiots? What if Samuels picked us out to do his bidding because we’re all stupid and easily led, and now that Samuels is dead, we’re floundering in our own idiocy?” Abby: “I can’t act like an idiot. I’m the one who has to negotiate the borderland deal and make sure it doesn’t come with any strings attached.” David: “No! That’s good! One smart person to tell Achish that we’re all stupid!” Abby: “Well what if Achish wants me to work for him, then?” David: “Shit. I dunno. Cross that bridge when we get to it, I guess.” Jack: “Michelle and I can have lunch with Queen Lena. It’ll be easy to get her to hate us, all we have to do is act like Mom.” Joel: “What if he catches on? We can’t all be complete idiots.” David: “But you could be an angry person who uses politics as an excuse to punch people.” Joel: “Yeah, I could.” A big smile spreads over David’s face, “Yeah, we can do this. We just have to be careful, plan everything out. This is gonna work.”

On the way to meet Achish, David runs into Doug, an old army buddy (one of the guys Jack invited to come in from the front on First Night) who has joined the resistance. David is thrilled to see Doug, and he asks where their other friend is. Doug: “Still in Gilboa.” David: “Shit. I can’t talk now, I’ve got a lot of shit to do, but I’m definitely gonna catch up with you later!”

In the negotiations with Achish, David plays a mix of “golly gee whiz” ignorant farm boy and meathead jockbro, all while managing to be charming, while Abby expertly hammers out the details. At one point, Achish sees something on David’s wrist, “Is that a tattoo?” David pushes his cuff up, where “DELIVER US FROM EVIL” is tattooed around his wrist, “Yeah, I was thinking about what you said in the cathedral about you know being a king and how a king protects his people and all, and then, there was that our father shit, and the priest said, ‘deliver us from evil’ and I thought…. man, that would make a sweet tattoo. So I got it." After the deal is made, Achish congratulates David and Abby. David: “Hey, if you think me and Abby are cool, you should see the rest of my guys. They’re really cool.” Abby: “You should see the training program we’ve set up.” David: “Yeah, you can’t meet everybody, though. I mean, some people are still in Gilboa. It sucks you can’t meet Monique, she got me into the resistance.” He pulls something up on his phone, “See?” He shows Achish a photo of Monique dressed as the Holy Virgin Mother, but instead of holding the baby Jesus, she’s holding a giant, veiny cock. David: “She’s amaaaaazing! She made our flag!”

Jack and Michelle have lunch with Queen Lena, the frumpy Queen of Gath who Rose has always been a bitch to. Michelle wears a slutty dress and acts like an airhead Paris Hilton type, while Jack does an imitation of Rose with the cold, malicious perfection that only an angry gay son could do.

Isaiah and David take Achish out to see Isaiah’s bomb making proficiency. He lights off explosives by size and gives them all stupid names and generally acts like a pyromaniac. One bomb goes off unexpectedly, causing Achish to duck, “What the hell was that?!” Isaiah: “Discrete charge that can be dropped anywhere and detonated remotely.” David: “SWEET!” Isaiah makes a big deal about showing off his biggest, baddest creation, but when he presses the button it doesn’t go off. “Shit, lemme try again.” It still doesn’t work. Achish suggests going onto the next thing.

Elsewhere on the training grounds, Shay demonstrates a hand-to-hand combat training situation for the Queens of Gilboa. She appears skilled and competent, and Achish watches with approval. After the lesson is over, a female student approaches and asks Shay a question. Shay blatantly stares at the student’s boobs and flirts with her. The student flirts back.

In a building, Joel tells stories of all the brawls he got into in prison with a disturbing amount of nostalgia, “Shit man, almost makes me want to go back.” The sound of a distant explosion causes Achish to jump again. David: “Sounds like Isaiah got his bomb to work. I hope he wasn’t there when it went off.”

Back at home, Achish and Lena talk about the AFG. Lena: “The prince and princess are just like their mother. Absolutely horrible.” Achish: “Shepherd is up to something. I thought he’d be delighted with the borderlands deal, but this makes me think he doesn’t want it.” Lena: “How could he not want it?” “I don’t know!” There’s a knock at the door, and Abby enters. Achish asks her what David’s up to. “Up to, sir?” “He’s planning something. Something that involves making me think he’s an idiot.” Abby remains convincingly confused, “Have you…. ever really spent time with David, sir?” “Every time I’ve spoken to him, he’s always impressed me.” “Yeah, that’s the problem. People tend to think he’s smart because he looks good, he’s charming, and he knows how to give people what they want.” “If Shepherd is stupid, how did he manage to organize an army?” “That was Reverend Samuels, sir, and Samuels is dead. David Shepherd is a golden retriever. He means well, and people like him, but he’s easily led, and useless on his own. That’s why Samuels picked him. Every success we’ve had since his death has been just unimaginable luck.” “What are you saying?” “We’re lost without Samuels. If you’re thinking of using the AFG for anything, you’ll be lost, too.” Achish sighs heavily and thinks in silence for a moment. Abby, with deep sincerity, “I hope this doesn’t affect the borderlands deal.” Achish: “The paper is signed. I can’t very well go back on it, can I?” A brilliant smile breaks over Abby’s face, “So the deal is safe?” “Yes. The Borderlands are autonomous and will remain so.” “Well, if you don’t mind, sir, I have to go celebrate with my friends.” “Very well.” Abby gets up to leave. Achish: “You’re a very talented negotiator, Miss Hatch.” “Thank you, sir.” “I’d be honored to have you as a diplomat for Gath.” Abby hesitates, “I have to think about that, sir. Good night.” “Good night.”

David and everyone wait around the bar/stage area of the hotel, which is decorated for a party, complete with kegs and a DJ booth. David sits talking privately to Doug, “We need to get out of Gath. I’ve got this crazy idea, I don’t know if it’s gonna work, but I’m hoping it will.” Doug: “If you aren’t going to be in Gath, where are you going to go?” “Abby wants to talk to the Queen of Moab, see if she can help us at all. But beyond that, I dunno. It’s impossible to look too far into the future at this point.” Abby comes hurrying into the hotel. David stands and greets her, “How’d it go?” Abby, breathless: “It fucking worked! Time for step two!”

Cut to a rager the likes of which Gath has ever seen. Asher mans the DJ table while everyone chugs booze. David, who is shirtless, Abby, and Isaiah, who is dressed like an alien general from a video game, nervously look out a window that overlooks the entrance of the palace. David: “It’s not working. Should we make the music louder?” Abby: “Any louder we’ll all go deaf.” Isaiah: “I know what to do. Meet me on the roof.”

On the roof, David shivers and talks to Abby. Abby: “Achish wants me as a diplomat.” David: “Shit. Well, maybe this will work.”“I don’t know. I think I have to do something. ” “If you want to be a diplomat for Gath, I won’t stop you.” “I fucking don’t, that’s the problem! I have to do something that will make Achish never respect me again.” “Don’t ruin your dignity or reputation for me, okay?” “Okay.” Isaiah appears behind them, his arms crammed with fireworks: “I make these in my spare time. I’ve been dying to light these babies of for weeks!” He sets up a roman candle and lights it off. He names the chemical responsible for each color, “Strontium carbonate! Calcium chloride! Sodium chloride!” David: “It’s like chemistry porn!”

Achish, asleep next to Lena in his bed, is awakened by loud booms. Panic-stricken, he runs to his window, and sees fireworks going off over the hotel. “OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”

Abby spots movement at the entrance of the palace, “Oh, shit, its working!” Everyone runs downstairs. In the bar area, David runs up to Jack, who is also shirtless, wearing tight pants, and lots of black eyeliner, “Come on!” They go up on stage. David grabs two microphones from the DJ station and hands one to Jack. He grabs a plastic crown and puts it on his head. “Hit it!” At the front of the hotel, Arthur, Sean, and Ethan guard the door. Achish and his security men go up to them. Achish: “What’s going on in there?!” Sean: “Autonomy, man, the people want to celebrate!” “Let me in!” Ethan: “Yeah we can’t really do that…” Achish: “I’m the fucking king in this country, not Shepherd!” Achish pushes the brothers out of the way and wrenches the door open. On stage, David and Jack, arms around each other’s shoulders, scream sing along to “Mr. Brightside.” Michelle, in a plastic tiara, dances on the bar. Achish walks into the hotel, and is immediately accosted by Isaiah in full cosplay glory, “Halt, human scum!” Achish’s security men knock him over and keep going in. They see Shay, who is making out with the female recruit from earlier. She sees them and makes the international sign for cunnilingus. In the bar area, Abby has a sudden moment of inspiration: “I know what I have to do!” She goes over to the nearest person, who happens to be Doug, “I need to borrow your shoulders!” She proceeds to climb up on his back. Across the room, Joel talks to one of his friends, “I’m sorry for doing this, but it’s for the greater good!” Friend: “FUCKING DO IT, MAN!” Joel punches him as hard as he can, knocking him straight into Achish as he goes into the room. Jack and David scream sing the chorus and jump up and down in time with the beat. Before the security guys can get to Joel’s friend, he gets right back up on his feet, and brawls with Joel. Michelle pretends to sniff a suspicious white powder. Abby points Doug toward Achish, “Over there, over there!” Doug staggers over towards Achish. Abby rips her top off, “TITS OUT FOR BORDERLAND AUTONOMY! WHOOOOOOO!” Doug trips and they both topple over. Jack and David’s performance reaches its off-key climax, “I’M MR. BRIGHTSIDE!” Achish goes over to the DJ table and rips all the wires out. The music stops, grinding the party to a halt with it. Achish: “What in god’s name is this?!” David: “Uh, we’re celebrating? Thanks to DJ Hillel for the sweet tunes.” Asher gives a thumbs-up, “Shalom, motherfucker.” Achish: “End this party. Now.” David steps forward, concern and sincerity on his face, “Oh, shit, I didn’t- I’m sorry if I upset you, man, I just… That’s my home. I want to do what’s good for it, and when something good happens, I want to celebrate. Because we really haven’t had a whole lot of reasons to. Autonomy under Gath is going to be so much better than anything under Silas. That’s incredible, man! I have something I can hope for, now!” Achish eyes David warily. David: “This… this won’t hurt anyone, will it?” Achish: “End the party now, and it won’t. And no more fireworks.” Achish turns and leaves. David, “Good night, sir!” The door closes. Abby goes up to David, “He’s seen my tits. He’s never going to look me in the eye again, much less want to work with me.” David: “Okay. Thanks for your noble sacrifice.” Jack laughs, and David has to smile, “I think it worked. Let’s all go to bed. We’ll clean this mess up tomorrow.”

David, Jack, Michelle, and Doug all walk down a hallway. David, to Jack, arm around his shoulder: “Mr. Brightside always makes me want to fuck your brains out.” Michelle, “Can you not say that in front of his sister?!” Jack laughs, “We should be idiots more often.” They go off into their respective rooms, and Doug, alone, goes into his at the end of the hallway. He enters his room, and gets a phone out of his suitcase. He calls a number, and on the other end, the head of the Gilboa spy agency listens in, Silas and Abner beside him. Spy head: “What do you have to report?” Doug: “Shepherd wants to leave Gath.” “Where is he going?” “He didn’t tell me. He was rushed and couldn’t talk, but he still believes I’m his friend. I’m pretty sure he trusts me. I just need to find enough time to really talk to him.” Abner: “Can you get a grasp on the morale of his followers?” “From what I’ve seen, everyone still loves Shepherd, and believes in him. There’s no dissent among the ranks.” Silas: “How are Jack and Michelle?” “I haven’t spoken to them, but from what I’ve seen, I’d say they’re happy to be here.” Silas: “That’s all I wanted to know. I’m going to bed.” Doug: “Good night, sir.”

[scrapyardboyfriends]

30 August 2017

[Outside in the Village with Aaron, Sheep, Maybe Cute Farmer, A Dog...oh and Jason in a graveyard where he should probably have just stayed]

*Gratuitous shot of Aaron running from behind in his new sweat pants* - for the fans -

SHEEP: Baaaa! We’re in the way but we’re cute and fluffy so we’re allowed. Baaaa! #ClassicVillageLife

MAYBE CUTE FARMER: *Whistles* Don’t mind us. Me, my sheep and my dog will be out of your way soon.

AARON: *Stares* Okay...wait...what’s that in the graveyard? Is that my Filler Plot coming back to haunt me already?

JASON: *Beaten and Broken*

(FANDOM: Sorry, not enough)

AARON: What happened? Why are you here? I swear I got enough closure yesterday.

JASON: Well apparently your Filler Plot thought you needed more because it had Cain beat me up.

AARON: *Sighs* Well, I’m turning into the most forgiving person ever, even though I still hate Rebecca and her baby, but that’s totally justified. Anyway, come on back to mine so I can get whatever closure the Filler Plot still thinks I need.

[Home Farm with Rebecca, Finn and Robert]

REBECCA: *On the phone* I’m sorry Mr. Important Client Sir...I’m just a Plot Device. I don’t have any agency or business skills. I’m just a womb or a prop. I can’t possibly be expected to have things like important files on hand…

FINN: Nope, the Plot won’t let me find the file. Your filing system sucks.

REBECCA: Oops, there goes another Important Client. I’m such a miserable failure. Why does the Plot hate me so much?

FINN: Is the business really doing that bad?

ROBERT: *Enters* No...everything will be fine. Get out Finn, go make us some tea. I can’t have anyone with even a shred of intelligence around for this next part. There’s a good PA.

*Finn leaves*

ROBERT: *Manipulative Rebecca Voice* Are you okay?

REBECCA: No! It’s time to have the conversation again. *Worried about Dad chat number 62 commences*

ROBERT: *Manipulative Rebecca Voice* There there, it’ll be okay. I’ll have a chat with him, give him some tough love. I’m sure we’ll both enjoy that.

REBECCA: Okay, but if that doesn’t work I’m probably going to continue to play right into your hand.

ROBERT: *As it should be Face*

[The Mill with Aaron and Jason]

AARON: Here’s some peas for your face. Now about this closure the Filler Plot thinks I need? Are we really going to have this conversation again? I swear we had it twice yesterday. Maybe now I can really start competing in this challenge of Robert’s and mine to see who can have the most repetitive scenes in their Filler Plots. Right...let’s do this.

JASON: Don’t think this changes anything.

AARON: Of course it doesn’t. The fans all think you’re scum and don’t want you in the same room with me let alone allowed any kind of redemption. Except those strange ones who want the Plot to Karofsky you and make you secretly gay, but let’s just say right now that that’s not going to happen. In any case, let’s go over this again. You’re still horrible and I’m still not afraid of you and you have no effect on me anymore. I have too much to lose now to go down that route again.

JASON: What? All these pictures on the wall?

AARON: Actually there are a lot less pictures now that I took down all of my wedding photos and any picture that had Robert in it.

JASON: Right...so what? You think that weird vespa chair by your Spiral Staircase of Doom makes you special?

AARON: Yeah...Robert picked that out. It’s a bit weird innit? Ah well, the Plot may not be giving me him right now, but at least I still have all of his decor to make heart eyes at even though it’s all pretty terrible. Anyway, I was talking about the people who care about me. I messed everything up for everyone when I punched that Plot Device and got banged up and sucked into that Prison Plot. #IMissRobert #AreWeBackTogetherYet I’m not going to go there again.

JASON: Yeah, but underneath all this, you’re totally a junkie. We were involved in a Drugs Plot together.

AARON: Yeah, but you and the Prison Plot did that to me. You tortured me and forced me to relive my most painful memories all so the Plot could get me on drugs so that I would push Robert away so that he could cheat on me and get the Walking Womb Plot Device in a Hat pregnant! And this, this whole Filler Plot is just so the Main Plot can pat itself on the back and say that they didn’t drop the Prison Plot completely even though that’s a blatant lie and nothing that’s happening in this Filler Plot really makes up for that. Anyway, you have no power over me and I am totally better than you cause I’m a #TopBloke.

[The Cafe with Robert, Lawrence, Bob, Rodney, Emma and Cain]

LAWRENCE: *Sleepy Disgruntled Mode Activate* Where are my sausages!?!

BOB: I’m trying my best but Brenda has been in Canada literally FOREVER. Oh, Rodney, Eric is going to that auction you’re holding the brochure for too. Let me just tell you his secret plans so that you can screw him over later.

RODNEY: Great! Thanks. *Leaves*

CAIN: Can I order? I’m actually being allowed to have scenes at my place of work later and I need fuel.

BOB: I really am trying, but it’s very busy.

EMMA: I’m back to being super nice to everyone so that no one thinks I’m guilty of anything. Also the Plot wants to rile Laurel up, so I can totally help you Bob.

BOB: This is probably a bad idea but okay. Go check on Lawrence’s precious sausages.

ROBERT: *Enters*

LAWRENCE: Oh, Robert. Let me guess, we’re going to have the same conversation again?

ROBERT: Yep, I think I can count this as number 63 in my competition with Aaron. It’s too easy with people as dense as you and Rebecca.

LAWRENCE: Save your breath. I’m not listening. I’m fine.

ROBERT: Okay, I believe you.

LAWRENCE: Wait? That’s it? You’re not going to try and make me see a medical professional?

ROBERT: Of course not! If you did, then my scheme would be discovered. Can’t have that! In fact, I’ll continue to talk Rebecca around so she doesn’t force you to see one either.

LAWRENCE: Oh, well great then.

[Outside the Mill with Aaron and Jason]

AARON: Right, well, I hope you’re really leaving this time. As much as I’d love to beat Robert in this repetitive conversation thing, I’m really tired of having to talk to you. Oh and apparently the Plot would like me to relate your issues with mine to help you get past them, because all abuse survivors should have to have these kinds of sympathetic chats with their abusers. #OnMessage Oh and, really, thanks for being so out of character and standing there and listening to this speech four times now. Gold star for you!

JASON: I hope I’m leaving forever too because you’re right, these chats are getting a bit old. But, before I go, let me give you some news about your other abuser, Gordon. We had lots of heart to hearts in prison before I forced him to top himself and he really hated himself for what he did to you.

AARON: Oh great, the feeling’s mutual. Thanks for that extra bit of #Closure I feel SOOO much better now. Thanks Filler Plot. Can you please end now?

JASON: *Gets in taxi* *Taxi drives away*

(FANDOM: Please say it’s over now!!!)

[The Garage with Aaron and Cain]

AARON: I didn’t do the thing, so you had to instead?

CAIN: Well...maybe.

AARON: And all that about me NOT doing the thing when you don’t do the same?

CAIN: You deal with things your way and I’ll deal with things my way. But, I am proud of you. You did the right thing yesterday.

AARON: *Nods* *Cain is proud of me, this is great Face*

[Outside in the Village with Aaron and Robert]

ROBERT: Hey Aaron, I just happened to be walking by here because I'm pretty sure the Plot forgot we were broken up. Cain’s not giving you grief about the thing from yesterday right?

AARON: Why? You gonna throw money at that problem too?

ROBERT: I guess I deserved that.

AARON: And more too cause I’m still trying to pretend I want nothing to do with you. #StopLyingYouLiar

ROBERT: Right right, stay out of your life...except the Plot doesn’t seem to want that to happen. For the record though, I never doubted you. That wasn’t what the Plot money was about. Anyway...I was going to go get a drink if you...you know...wanna pretend that this Plot isn’t happening and we’re not broken up. I think we might be able to score a few minutes together before my Filler Plot catches up to me.

AARON: *Scrunchy Face* Are you sure you can afford it? #AaronStyleFlirtyBanter

ROBERT: *Smiles* *Heart Eyes* *He made a joke and didn’t say no Face*

*Aaron and Robert walk off to enjoy these blissful few Filler Plot free moments together*

[The Cafe with Rebecca, Bob, Emma and Sleepy Lawrence]

REBECCA: *Enters*

SLEEPY LAWRENCE: *Exists*

REBECCA: *Worried Face*

EMMA: He’s been like that for awhile.

BOB: Yep, didn’t even have the decency to finish the sausages he yelled at me about! He just fell asleep.

EMMA: I’m a medical professional and he seems pale and has shallow breathing.

REBECCA: OH NO! Does that mean something’s wrong? I’ve been having the same conversation 62 times with Robert trying to figure out this very simple thing, but I haven’t yet. Is it bad?

EMMA: It might be. I’m going in to see everyone’s other favorite medical professional, Dr. Cavanaugh. I can book him an appointment.

SLEEPY LAWRENCE: *Wakes up a the word medical professional* Leave me to sleep and dream of my exit in peace! *Leaves*

REBECCA: So, medical professional Emma, you’d tell him to see a medical professional about this problem he might have?

EMMA: I would. Seems logical.

REBECCA: Does it? Because I’ve been trying to make a decision about this for two weeks and I haven’t really gotten much further. Robert keeps telling me that seeing a medical professional is unnecessary and I know he only has mine and my dad’s best interests at heart. But thank you for validating this medical professional concept that should have been really easy to grasp. I thought I was the only one who thought it might be necessary. I feel at least a bit closer to making a decision now. I might have to have The Conversation another time or two though before I fully get there.

[The Woolpack with Robert and Aaron….oh and the Plotstacle]

*Half finished pints in front of them* - to show the fans that they’ve at least been enjoying this Filler Plot free time for a little longer than we’re seeing them now -

ROBERT: *Heart Eyes* So, you’re Filler Plot is over now and Jason got what he deserved in the end. Can’t say I’m gonna lose any sleep...cause I’m still not getting at any because I still miss you too much and I’m using all of my sleeping pills to drug Lawrence.

AARON: *Smirk* *Heart Eyes* You just lost a bit of cash.

ROBERT: Well you��d have done the same for me...right? We’d both die for each other because we’re both still hopelessly in love with each other in spite of the Plot?

AARON: *Nods* *Looks down to contemplate* *Would totally have agreed if not for–*

PLOTSTACLE: ROBERT!!!! THE PLOT SENSED THAT YOU WERE HAVING A MOMENT WITH YOUR AARON AND ALERTED ME IMMEDIATELY SO THAT I COULD COME AND DESTROY THIS BEAUTIFUL MOMENT THAT BOTH OF YOU AND THE FANS WERE ALL ENJOYING BECAUSE THE HELL PLOT HATES JOY AND THE HELL PLOT CAN’T BE STOPPED. Also...we need to have The Conversation again.

ROBERT: Do we really have to? I was having such a nice time.

PLOTSTACLE: Yes we have to!

AARON: *This is awkward and I really don’t want to be here but wow Robert is going to destroy me in this Repetitive Scene competition if this is anything to go by Face*

ROBERT: Look, I was...um… *Searching through back catalogue of manipulation techniques* I was just trying to use reverse psychology to get Lawrence to want to go see a medical professional himself.

PLOTSTACLE: Well that backfired!

ROBERT: Which fits into my schemes perfectly fine. But I was just trying to help. Honest! #FingersCrossBehindBack

PLOTSTACLE: Well now I hate you! Actually, that’s not true. I trust you implicitly and wholeheartedly believe that you care about me and have my best interests at heart and I apologize for doubting you even though you’re the cause of all of these problems. I’m just too Plot Brained to figure it out. It’s just that I bumped into medical professional Emma and she validated my suspicions that Dad has an actual problem so now I’m all worked up about it. You can tell by the fact that my voice is getting higher pitched and more breathy. It’s my #UpsetVoice

AARON: On that note...I’ll leave you to it, because, as I imagine the fans are thinking too, I cannot possibly watch this puppet show any longer. See ya, hope your dad gets better I suppose. *Leaves*

ROBERT: *Aaron please don’t leave me Face*

PLOTSTACLE: Well, my work here is done...I mean...sorry for interruptimg your cute almost date.

ROBERT: Yeah...you should be...I mean…*Manipulative Rebecca Voice* *Fingers Crossed Behind Back* Don’t worry about it, you did nothing wrong. We’ll get through this together.

PLOTSTACLE: Well I’m off now that I’m not needed anymore to remind Aaron why he broke up with you. Oh and next time you see me, I might actually have made a decision now that half the village has weighed in on it and made me some pro/con lists. *Leaves*

ROBERT: *Great and now I’m alone again Face* #StoryOfMyLife #ComeBackAaron #AreWeBackTogetherYet

[The Mill with Robert and Aaron]

ROBERT: *Stands outside* *Pauses to look at what should be his home* I probably shouldn’t but I’m going to anyway because we are seriously bad at being broken up and I literally can’t seem to stay away. *Heads for the door*

AARON: *Grabs beer inside* *Hears knock at the door* *Oh no not more Plot Face* *Opens door to find Robert there* Sup?

ROBERT: ‘Sup?’ That’s all you have to say? Way to make a guy feel welcome! You should work on that. Might put people off.

AARON: Clearly not...considering you’re still here and we legitimately can’t be separate from each other if we happen to be in the same episode. In any case, thanks for reminding me earlier why we broke up. Plotstacle had perfect timing.

ROBERT: About that...you know there’s nothing going on there right? I’m just pretending I care about the baby and helping out up there cause I’m stuck in this Filler Plot with them.

AARON: And scheming...cause it’s you and the Plot doesn’t know how to do anything different with you when you’re not with me.

ROBERT: Fair point. I’m glad you can still see right through my bullshit. It’s one of the things that made me fall in love with you.

AARON: Oh Robert don’t! The Plot isn’t ready for us to get back together yet and so I have to still pretend I don’t care about you at all. So go back to your boring Filler Plot and leave me out of it.

ROBERT: *Fuck this Plot Face* *Leaves*

AARON: *I still fucking care damnit Face*

[The Mill with Aaron]

AARON: *Stares at monkey sculpture of Robert because he clearly still cares* *Calls the other person he cares about* Hi Liv! I’m doing great now that my Filler Plot is finished and I supposedly got #Closure for my Prison Plot. In fact, I could use a new Filler Plot until the Hell Plot is ready to get Robert and I back together so I miss you and I love you and I don’t care how soppy I sound but I can’t wait for you to come home.

[Home Farm with Robert, Finn and Rebecca]

ROBERT: *Enters*

FINN: *Exists*

ROBERT: *Gently nudges Finn onto the stairs* HOW DARE YOU TURN AARON IN FOR HITTING THAT PLOT DEVICE! YOU’VE RUINED EVERYTHING!!!! #Projecting

FINN: Umm...Robert, mate? That was like seven months ago. That Plot Device is long gone and I’ve even been to Australia and back to help the fans forget about that whole ordeal. So….sorry?

ROBERT: Get out of my sight! #BetterLateThanNever #LatentPlotFixes

REBECCA: Hey, I’m not interrupting anything right? I love to do that.

ROBERT: Nope, Finn was just leaving so I can get back to my manipulating.

*Finn leaves*

ROBERT: I know I’ve been a bit distracted for the last three days with Aaron’s Filler Plot and thinking we could have a pub date without Plotstacle rearing her blonde braided head but I assure you now that this Filler Plot will get my full attention. And just know that I'm absolutely doing all of this because the Plot won't let me have Aaron.

REBECCA: That’s so great to hear! My dad’s in the next room for you to manipulate.

ROBERT: Perfect.

[Home Farm with Robert and Sleepy Lawrence]

SLEEPY LAWRENCE: *Sleeps*

ROBERT: *Murder Face* Great! You just keep sleeping so I can con the business away from your unbelievably gullible daughter and apparently mother of my child.

[fuckyeahevanrwood]

Evan Rachel Wood on Her Gritty New Psycho-Thriller, the Emmys, and Westworld Season Two

Evan Rachel Wood doesn’t have a lot of time on her hands, what with playing both robot Dolores and robot-who-doesn’t-think-she’s-a-robot Dolores on HBO’s Westworld — and, this season, it seems from that killer season-two teaser trailer, woke-robot Dolores. So it says a lot that, on hiatus, she starred in a gritty independent psychological thriller, A Worthy Companion, from two Montreal fine-art photographers (and brothers), Carlos and Jason Sanchez, first-time movie directors. The film, which debuted at the Toronto International Film Festival, follows Wood as Laura, a 30-year-old fuckup working for her father’s (Denis O’Hare) cleaning company, as she strikes up an ill-advised and increasingly disturbing relationship with Ava (Julia Sarah Stone), the 16-year-old daughter of one of her cleaning clients. It’s a wrenching and often unlikable part that delves deep into the complex of the cycles of abuse, and how the familiar path for those in pain is to perpetuate more pain. Wood’s is a barn-burner performance, but even the Sanchez brothers are shocked she said yes pretty much right after reading the script, and met up with them to talk it over the day after Westworld premiered.

“We were flattered because she told us she wasn’t going to make another film that year,” Carlos told me. They’d seen her in 13 and The Wrestler, but Jason says the Westworld trailer is really what convinced them to cast her, because it was impressive watching her switch between her robot and human characters — which is what Laura is often doing in her manipulations as she switches from tender to enraged and back again. Wood brought so much authentic pain to the part that the Sanchez brothers rewrote the ending because they felt the original one didn’t do justice to the character she’d been building. “We were super stoked to work with her,” said Jason, “but what we got from her was just fucking mind-blowing.”

We spoke to Wood — who looked amazing in a bright-orange Altuzarra coat and sparkling Louboutin booties — about diving into this movie, what to expect from “woke Dolores” in season two, and how freaked out she was for her Westworld finale moment with Sir Anthony Hopkins.

So, the opening scene of this movie is insane. This guy walks into your apartment, blindfolds himself, and then you get so rough and violent with him during sex that he throws you off him and runs away. I was like, “What is happening?” I know. [Laughs.] We don’t waste any time. One of the things I loved about the script is that this was the first scene, because I read it for the first time and went, “What is it?” But also, I thought, “Good for you! You’re holding nothing back!” I thought it was a great way to tell the story — usually it builds and you’re like, “Who’s good? Who’s bad? What’s going on?” but here, right away, you see the darkest side of this girl. And then the whole first half is just this crazy tension because you know already what’s lurking under there. I thought it heightened everything really well.

Why do you think she needs the guys she has sex with to have blindfolds on? Who knows? She’s got a lot going on in there, a lot of mental disturbances. I’m assuming she’s gay and was abused at a very young age. Those two are not connected in any way, but if she has issues with men, and if she has issues with her own sexuality and shame and whatever she’s dealing with, when you’re traumatized that young, it manifests in ways that don’t make a lot of sense until it goes to the source. It manifests in everyone a little differently, and I think that’s just her thing.

The main relationship of the movie, this 30-year-old woman with a 16 year-old girl, will be pretty controversial for audiences. It definitely is. Another thing I love about the script is that my part was originally written for a man and then they gender-swapped it, which is so cool because it brings so many different layers to that character and to the relationship. I love that it is two women, but it’s never really talked about or touched upon. It’s not what the movie’s about. It’s about a woman and a younger girl, but it’s really about abuse, the cycles of it, the psychology of it, codependency. When I saw it, I wasn’t even phased by it. There was so much other stuff going on.

And the Sanchez brothers told me it’s the only movie you shot last year? Yes. And I didn’t want to do anything. I’d just done Westworld and I was like, “I’m taking a break,” but then I read the script and was like, “Dammit, I have to do this. And it’s going to be hard, and I’m not going to like doing it.” But I hadn’t read a script like that. Somebody compared it to Big Little Lies and how it really showed the whole picture, not excusing the perpetrator but humanizing them, giving you insight into what was going on and how they got to that point. It excited me because it wasn’t black and white: Here’s the victim, here’s the abuser, let’s focus on the victim the whole time. No. It’s a more in-depth look in how we get to this point, and how does the abused become the abuser?

There’s not really a good or bad guy; abuse is a well-rounded tragedy for everyone because normally, when people are doing that, it’s because they’ve been broken at a very young age. So it’s just as tragic watching somebody be prisoner to their own trauma, not in control of what they’re doing because their perspective is so skewed. I’m not excusing what she does in any way, and it was important to me that we didn’t let her completely off the hook. But I definitely think it’ll spark more conversations about it for sure.

You really lay everything out on the screen. Were you okay at the end of every day? Yeah, but I needed a month afterwards, because I was messed up a little bit after that movie. I need to rest and go to my house in Tennessee and just … don’t think about bad things. It took some recalibrating.

Weren’t you supposed to do a different movie this year, your own directorial debut? It’s a road-trip movie you wrote, right? I cowrote it. But I had to push it because it got too stacked up against the Westworld schedule, and I want to do it right, so I pushed it.

But it is going to happen? Yes, after season two.

With the same cast of Jenny Slate, Alison Pill, and Cynthia Erivo? Yes, as of now.

That’s great, because it’s such a good cast. The best cast.

Jenny spilled the beans, didn’t she? She did! I was like, “Don’t worry about it.”

I felt bad, I love Jenny and I actually wrote the article where she said it, and as soon as people started picking it up as a big news item, I was like, “Oh no.” I know! [Laughs.] She texted me right after like, “I think I did a bad thing.” I was like, “No, it’s fine. It’s fine.” She’s great. I just saw her new movie, Landline, and she’s so incredible.

I was nervous about asking you! No, it’s fine. I’m not nervous about it in any way.

Okay, good, so this is the part where I deluge you with Westworld questions. Where are you at in the filming of season two? We’re at the halfway point.

Obviously feel free to stop me if I run into something you can’t say. I mean, there are so many things I can’t say! [Laughs.]

Where are you filming? Santa Clarita and Utah. Same as season one.

Can you give me one free-and-clear clue about season two? It’s twice as ambitious. I’ll try to say the things the showrunners have said, so I know it’s okay. I think somebody asked Jonathan Nolan if we were going to see other worlds this season, or how many worlds we would see, and he said, “More than one?” So there’s that little tidbit. [Laughs.]

Can you talk about how Dolores has evolved? The last time we see her, she is unhinged. I think we’re going to see a new, woke Dolores. We’re going to get to see what that looks like and how it plays out.

Like woke as in Westworld woke, not as in politically correct woke, right? Dolores woke! It’s fun! [Laughs.]

In the trailer we see her riding that horse and shooting guns like a fucking champ. She’s a very different, different character — with still the essence of who she was, but awake.

What is your favorite part about playing woke Dolores in season two? The show is always a surprise. We don’t get to know exactly what happens, so we’re finding out along with the audience, and it’s just a ride. You have enough info to do your job, but you never know what’s going to happen next. It’s constantly exciting, it’s never boring, and it’s extremely difficult because it’s a very complex, challenging, technical role. But because there are endless possibilities on the show. I feel like I could do it for ten years and it would be different every year. So I don’t think I’ll ever get bored.

I think in older interviews you said you figure out the season one twist pretty early on. How are you doing sussing out the season two twist? I figured it out again!

Because you’re a nerd! Yeah, but it’s a lot like last season — I figure it out, but they don’t fill in the blanks for me. Usually I’m like, “Okay, I think I have an idea of where this is going,” and then the payoff is always so incredible, so much bigger than I could ever imagine. I think the same goes for the audience — you’re supposed to figure out the show, and even if you do, it’s okay because the payoff will always be way more than you could ever dream up. So I did kind of talk to one of the showrunners and say, “Okay, tell me if I’m going in the right direction. Is it this?” and they said, “Stop bugging the writers room! Don’t tell this to anyone!” I was like, “Okay! Okay!”

Did you learn any new skill sets that you could take out into the real world and be, like, a ninja? I mean, you already used shotguns and rode horses in season one. Yes, but this is a whole other level. I mean, she’s pretty awake! [Laughs.] I’ve maybe been learning a few things here and there that are fun. But it was crazy, when we shot the scene for Comic-Con, Jonah came up to me and said, “How would you feel about riding a horse with no hands at full speed shooting a rifle?” I said, “I mean, I can do it …”

You already knew you could! No! I’d never done it! But I’ve ridden before, and I’ve ridden bareback, and when you ride, you’re already riding no hands anyway, but this is — it was a whole other level! I remember just kind of staying calm all day, and when it was over and we did it I was like, “Great, I’m going to go have a panic attack and get on my knees and thank God I’m still here!” But they’re so safe on that show, the wranglers are incredible and the horses so well-trained that it was one of the cooler things I’ve gotten to do in my life. So much fun. And not fake. [Laughs.]

It’s funny when you talk about how much more ambitious it is. They had to halt filming in the season one to rewrite scripts. So what does that mean, just on a practical standpoint, to make it more ambitious? We’re approaching it differently this year. They were writing while we were filming last time, and that was too complicated, so they have everything written. Season one, we were also shooting out of order, which is weird, but it was the first season, and it is an ambitious show, so we were all figuring out how it works. Now that we know how it works, we’re all kind of surrendered to the experience — and to never really knowing what’s going on.

You choose what you submit to the Emmys, right? What did you pick? I submitted episode ten. You know, it all comes together for Dolores in that one.

And you knew she was going to do that? No, not until I read it. I was absolutely shocked.

You were like, “Thank you!” It was incredible! So well-written. Jonah directed the pilot and the last episode and they’re stunning, but no, I had no idea.

What did Anthony Hopkins say to you after you shot him in the head? I went up to him after I read it and said, “I’m so sorry, I have to kill you!” and he was like, “No, it’s wonderful! It’s such a beautiful piece of the story! It’s great!” He was all for it, but it was one of the most nerve-racking experiences of my life, holding a gun to Anthony Hopkins’s face. A real gun, not loaded! I was just like, “Ahhhhhh!!!!” [makes face of being excited and terrified and overjoyed all at the same time] “Ahhhhhhh!!!” I just kind of did one of these before every take.

[unassumingvenusaur]

So, hey! Aaages ago I claimed Cynthia/Kjelle, and I did end up submitting it, but it was right in the middle of the Floranslaught (Floravalanche? Florapalooza?) so it might’ve gotten lost? And then I got kinda nervous so I didn’t submit it again for a while;; But here it is now!

A note: I based this on the idea of them both having fangirls. For Cynthia, that’s revealed in her Inigo C support. But for Kjelle, I first read it in the trivia section of one of the wikis, but when I skimmed through her supports, I couldn’t seem to figure out where it was revealed in the text? It’s (hopefully) not too implausible anyway, though - Fire Emblem certainly seems to take the view that all girls are really gay for butch girls in general, anyway. :P

C Support

(“Eeee! It’s her! It’s really her!”)

Cynthia: Hehe, hey girls! Back again today, huh?

(“We love you, Cynthia!!”)

Kjelle: *enters* …Cynthia.

Cynthia: Hey, Kjelle! Come here to train, too? We should team up!

Kjelle: I did. But there’s a more pressing issue right now…

Cynthia: What do you mean?

(“Oh Gods! It’s Kjelle too! I knew we’d see her!!”)

Kjelle: …what, precisely, are all these girls doing here?

Cynthia: Ahah, well… I guess I kinda tend to get a lot of fan mail, from place to place?

Kjelle: As do I.

Cynthia: Ooh, I thought so!

Cynthia: Well, anyway, since we’re camped pretty close to a city this time, I guess word got ‘round!

Cynthia: So, they’re here to see us!

(“They’re talking!! I can’t hear, what are they saying?!”)

Kjelle: They’re certainly…enthusiastic.

Cynthia: Haha, yeah…

Cynthia: But, don’t you think it might be kinda fun, actually? We could show them all our coolest moves!!

Cynthia: Having such an immediate audience could really help me work on my poses!

Kjelle: …I really don’t care about that at all. Having so many people gathered around is quite tiresome.

Kjelle: But if they’re going to be watching anyone, it’s probably better that they’re watching us.

Kjelle: They’ll be able to learn what true strength looks like.

Cynthia: Exactly! The opportunity we have to inspire all of these girls is amazing!

Cynthia: So, what do you say? Work-out buddies?! Kjelle: …just this once.

Cynthia: Yay!

B Support

(“Is Kjelle here yet? I really hope we see her again today…”)

Kjelle: *enters* Cynthia.

Cynthia: Hey girls! We’re both back here again!

(“They’re standing together!! They’re so gorgeous I can’t breathe…”)

Kjelle: …over the past few days I’ve noticed something.

Kjelle: These girls… aren’t interested in our training at all.

(“Cynthia’s so cute, she’s a perfect partner to a cool girl like Kjelle!”)

Cynthia: Hm?

Cynthia: Oh, I guess not. They’re more interested in the two of us, really!

Kjelle: *sigh*

(“Are they fighting?! I don’t think my heart could take that…”)

(“But they’re so perfect together! They must be a couple!”)

Kjelle: …wait, what was that?

Cynthia: Ehe, they’ve really gotten into it!

Cynthia: Hey girls! Having fun over there?!

(“Ahh, She’s talking to us!! You guys are totally dating, right?!”)

(“Kiss her! Kiss her!!”)

(“Kiss!” “Kiss!” “Kiss!”)

Kjelle: What?! There’s no-

Kjelle: Mmph!

Cynthia: *kisssss*

(“Oh Gods! Oh gods!! They’re kissing!!! CynKjelle is real!!!”)

(“This is the greatest day of my life!!!”)

Kjelle: Mf- Cynthia! You’re coming with me. Now.

Cynthia: That’s right, girls! If you work hard and always keep up the fight for justice, you too could meet the girl of your dreams!!

*scene transition*

Kjelle: Cynthia. What the seven hells was that?!

Cynthia: Huh? I just…

Kjelle: Encourage your own annoying fangirls all you want, but I have no interest whatsoever in taking part.

Cynthia: Oh… oh! Oh Gods… I’m so sorry!

Cynthia: I just got so caught up in the moment… I didn’t think at all! Kjelle: No. You didn’t.

Cynthia: I’m sorry… I promise I won’t do that again!

Kjelle: See to it.

*Kjelle leaves*

Cynthia: Oh man…

A Support

Kjelle: *enters* Cynthia.

Cynthia: Ack!!

(*crash*)

Kjelle: …are you done?

Cynthia: Sorry, you just… startled me.

Kjelle: You’ve been avoiding me.

Kjelle: And considering how loud you always are, it’s pretty obvious.

Cynthia: Oh…sorry.

Cynthia: I just still feel so bad for what I did before. I should never have kissed you without asking you first.

Cynthia: It was an awful violation of your boundaries. It’s not what a hero would do.

Kjelle: Hm? I don’t care about that at all.

Cynthia: You – what?

Kjelle: Oh, please. I’m not some wilting farm girl. I’ve faced attacks from some of the crudest and most brutal enemies known to Ylisse.

Kjelle: I can handle one single little kiss.

Cynthia: Oh. Then…what were you mad about?

Kjelle: I was mad that you drew me in to your silly, unnecessary sideshow!

Kjelle: I was willing to tolerate those girls as long as they might be able to learn what a proper soldier looks like.

Kjelle: But they have no interest in that whatsoever. Only the stupid fantasies of weaklings.

Cynthia: …is that what you really think about them?

Kjelle: Yes. They are weak. I am not going to encourage that.

Cynthia: Don’t say that about them.

Kjelle: What?

Cynthia: Call them annoying, or silly, or invasive, or loud, or whatever else. But don’t call them weak.

Cynthia: I mean, what do you expect them to do? Just conjure up a suit of armour and single-handedly enlist on the spot?!

Cynthia: These girls are just villagers, y'know?! They don’t have the money for that!

Cynthia: Not to mention, like, families! Even children! And farm stuff to take care of!

Cynthia: They haven’t got time to spend six hours a day doing push-ups, or whatever it is you do every morning!

Cynthia: They watch us because we give them a glimpse into the life they could lead. The heroes they want to be, but can’t.

Kjelle: …you know an awful lot about them.

Cynthia: Yeah. Because they’re the people we’re trying to protect, you know?

Cynthia: What’s the point of all this if we’re not actually helping people or making the world a better place?

Cynthia: Working to make peoples’ lives better… And serving as an inspiration to keep everyone’s spirits high…

Cynthia: That’s what I mean by 'true strength’.

Kjelle: …I have to admit, I didn’t expect this from you. I admired your ability in battle, but I never knew you had this fierceness in you.

Cynthia: Well, yeah. I know you think it’s silly, but being a hero of justice… that’s what it means to me, deep down.

Kjelle: I underestimated you. I apologise.

Kjelle: And… I will concede that you have a point. I…may have been too harsh, earlier.

Cynthia: Well, I got someone to shoo them away, so you won’t have to deal with them any more, anyway. No more yelling, no more training buddies.

Kjelle: I’m very grateful for the former.

Kjelle: But I see no reason why we can’t continue to train together, on our own.

Cynthia: Really?! Hehe, yay!

S Support

Cynthia: Hey Kjelle! Ready to begin our morning training?!

Cynthia: Ooh, you look mad already. Meet some dumb boy on the way? Kjelle: Not this time. Ugh, on my morning run I happened to see another one of those fangirls.

Cynthia: Oh no! What’d she say?

Kjelle: She was just sad that I wasn’t with you, actually.

Cynthia: Aww, hehe! It’s probably a good thing they don’t know we’re still training together, huh…

Kjelle: Absolutely. Honestly – I can understand why they would look up to us individually.

Kjelle: But why this fixation on the two of us as a couple?! Cynthia: Heh, well… it probably means different things to different girls. Cynthia: But, um… For a lot of them, I’d probably say… it’s that they themselves have a girl they have a crush on.

Cynthia: And by watching us, they can imagine what it’d be like to be with their crush… And know that it’s possible…

Kjelle: Tch. More pointlessness.

Cynthia: …

Cynthia: I wanted to ask you something.

Kjelle: Go ahead.

Cynthia: Why do you think romance is pointless?

Kjelle: I don’t.

Cynthia: It’s really just another – wait, really?!

Kjelle: Yes. As I said before – I’m not a blushing maiden. There are people I like and people I don’t, like anyone else.

Kjelle: And I have no objection to finding a partner to spend my life with, as long as they are worthy.

Cynthia: So…

Kjelle: What I find pointless is projecting your own feelings onto totally unrelated people.

Kjelle: If you like someone, just tell them. Moping around isn’t going to do anything at all.

Cynthia: …

Cynthia: …okay.

Cynthia: All right then. In that case…

Cynthia: Kjelle, I like you!

Cynthia: You’re totally cool and strong, without even trying to be like I’m always doing!

Cynthia: Even if I must seem childish to you, I’m always really pleased when I can impress you or make you smile!

Cynthia: When I kissed you back then, I did it because of the heat of the moment. But also because I really, really wanted to kiss you!

Cynthia: So – go out with me!

Kjelle: Heh. Good work.

Kjelle: I accept.

Cynthia: !! Really?!

Kjelle: Yes. You are an adept soldier – I know how much strength it takes to keep yourself on those pegasus steeds, and how much skill to fight there.

Kjelle: You are the least cowardly person I have ever met. Almost to a fault.

Kjelle: But… you are honest and determined. You never give up. I have always admired that.

Cynthia: O-oh wow… I never thought I’d hear you say something so nice to me…! Kjelle: It’s just the truth. I couldn’t deny it.

Cynthia: Hehe… Wow, who’d have thought those girls would become right about us being together, after all?

Kjelle: Ugh.

Cynthia: Don’t worry – we don’t have to tell them. Just being with you is enough for me!

Cynthia: But… well, I can’t say I can blame them, at this point. We make a pretty sweet couple!

Kjelle: Now that I can agree with!

Ending text:

Cynthia never gave up on becoming a hero and traveled the land in the name of justice. Kjelle joined her as her shield, and together their names  were spoken throughout the land - especially by women.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

andimeantittosting reblogged your post and added:

Regarding Sam’s past as an “enlightened California college student”, as you say, there’s also the fact that that was over a decade ago. Even if he had been the sort of straight ally to join a GSA and put some work in (as opposed to just not being homophobic) - and I don’t think that that would have been a top priority for him in his college years - the landscape around sexuality has shifted, and I doubt Sam has found time to keep up while hunting. No matter how “enlightened” he once was, it’s likely that 12 years later, his understanding is a little outdated. Also? It makes me, as a queer person, uncomfortable, when in fic, good-straight-ally!Sam has to explain permutations of sexuality beyond just gay and straight to closeted-having-gay-panic!Dean, often having to go so far as to explain that Dean might be bi. It’s something about the idea that a queer person would need a straight person to interpret or bestow their identity upon them. This is not an articulate explanation, but hopefully someone understands what I’m getting at.

If you don’t mind I’m starting a new post (the original one here) because the original one was getting long and we’re slightly digressing from the original topic :)

About the first part of your addition: I think that when Sam ran to California (it was two years before the pilot so around 2003, right?) he was rejecting an identity and embracing another. Sam has always seen things in a very all-or-nothing way until quite recently. Either in or out. His “have you considered something with someone who understands the life, like a hunter” is very telling - Sam himself hasn’t considered something like that for a long time. When he basically asked Dean to have a life with Lisa, he was projecting his own desires into Dean - getting out of the hunting life, have a relationship with a civilian in the whole white-fence, apple-pie kind of life.

Anyway - when Sam chose Stanford over John and Dean, he wasn’t just choosing not to be a hunter anymore and to pursue a “civilian” career. He was choosing to belong to a different culture altogether - basically rejecting the culture of a semi-rural America, with a huge emphasis on a “us/them” mindframe, heavy Christian tones, etc, for the culture you’ll find in a place like a California college. 

Have you seen American Sniper? If you haven’t, good for you. Anyway, at the very beginning of the movie you see the protagonist as a kid, living with his parents and his younger brother someplace in rural Texas. There’s a scene where the protagonist's father makes a speech to his sons that was exactly John Winchester’s worldview expect with muslims instead of monsters. There are the civilians, the monsters and the protectors. In the movie, the father uses the metaphor of sheep, wolves and shepherd dogs: common people are sheep, who are weak and in danger of being harmed by the wolves (terrorists and whatever). “Real men” are the shepherd dogs, who defend the weak from the wolves. I immediately compared that to John Winchester’s view of the world as divided in civilians, monsters and hunters. Of course there was also a huge layer of toxic masculinity - if you’re weak you are not a real man and you are a disgrace.

Now, in the Winchester family the focus was on monsters and not on muslims, but their lives were mostly spent around a rural or semi-rural America. It’s clear that urban and suburban lives were alien to the Winchesters as they grew up.

Season 1 shows us how Sam and Dean deal with the universe they’ve grown up into: Sam has rejected it outright, even physically removing himself from the rest of his family and enrolling in Stanford. Dean, on the other hand, has a very different approach and it’s probably harder to read for a viewer that is more like Sam than Dean.

I think it’s not a coincidence that many fans, in my opinion, have a fairly mistaken view of Dean in the earlier seasons. In the earlier seasons we see a lot of things from Sam’s point of view, and Sam misunderstands Dean a lot, and a viewer that shares Sam’s mindframes would easily make the same mistakes as Sam.

Basically Sam, the straight “enlightened college boy”, does a lot of judging of Dean - Dean who, in Sam’s eyes, embraces that very culture that Sam rejects. I think that a viewer who is, like Sam is, straight, middle-class (Sam’s permanence in the middle class was very short-lived but he embraced that kind of identity strongly), liberal, would make the same assumptions as Sam regarding Dean - i.e. that is shares that rural-American, close-minded, American Sniper-y mindset. But the way I see it, Dean in 2005 identifies with a culture of its own. Sam rejects a dominant culture for a different dominant culture, while Dean rebels to a dominant culture by embracing a subculture, if it makes sense? Dean can’t just drop everything and leave, we know how the whole abuse thing has worked on him. But he develops his own way of dealing with the culture he’s grown up in, and a lot of that way is centered about the fact that he is not straight. Straight doesn’t just mean ‘that experiences attraction to individuals of a gender different than one’s own’. It’s a concept that reels in ideals of normativity, “normality”, socially accepted, socially sanctioned.

This brings us to the second part of your comment - in my opinion, Dean has always known he’s not straight. @f-ckyeahfutbol has been talking about it better than I can, but I believe that a huge part of Dean’s personality the way we seen it formed at the beginning of the show is based on the fact that he has his own ways of rebelling to social normativity. He identifies as a freak, with the whole baggage that brings along. He suffers from the loneliness that that entails but also takes pride in his being different. He takes pride in his belonging to a subculture of sorts.

You make an excellent point in pointing out that queer discourse in the early 00s was very different that the current one. If season 1 took place now, I’d say, there is a chance that this boy doesn’t know about queer theory and the labels and identities that exist in the current queer discourse. So I’d say that there is a chance that Dean might not embrace the label bisexual because he is not up-to-date with queer theory and the words that are used now.

But Dean has been in his early twenties in the early 00s. The early twenties are to queer people what teenage years are for straight people, in a sense - straight people are exposed to societal and mediatic messages that help them shape their identity in relation to themselves and others during their teen years, but queer people lack that kind of messages in their teen years - like, there are seventy-five billion movies and shows about straight kids falling in love, but none about queer kids (at least not in the 00s).

So a Dean in his early twenties would have built his identity in relation to sexuality. And he would have found less labels to pick from than one has today, so to speak. Not too many years ago the “bisexual” label was an umbrella identity for many different experiences, that could be summed up as “not straight nor gay”. Asexuality was included in that, too.

I think that Dean always knew he wasn’t either straight or gay. We don’t know if he would have used the word bisexual to describe himself in 2005, but I think that he would have identified with the definition of the word.

I think Dean has always known he was bisexual, so yeah, I agree with you about the trope in fics and headcanons where Sam teaches Dean about queer things. I think it’s a result of fandom being made mostly by straight women - they project their allyship and knowledge of queer theory over the straight character, Sam. In general there are multiple issues in fandom(s) due to a majority of shippers being straight women and the trope of “clueless Dean, wise Sam” is one of them (not the most problematic). I tend to see Dean as a lot more aware and self-aware than most fans seem to believe (not just in regards to his sexuality), and I tend to see Sam as less skilled in reading Dean than a lot of fans seems to believe, too. I mean, I believe there are multiple elements in the show that support my interpretation, but I am too exhausted and slow at the moment to make a list.

In conclusion, I have no idea how knowledgeable of queer theory Sam is, but I’m sure Dean knows more than him.