#yeah this is entirely bs and ableism.

[the-npd-culture-is]

Questioning NPD culture is meeting the DSM-5 criteria for NPD, but wondering pwNPD can feel love, because litterally every source says they can’t, but you’ve always been able to. Then wondering if maybe that’s just ableism.

.

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

You’re pissed that no one took any accountability for their supposed “aphobia/arophobia” but where is the accountability for the constant inhumane and disgusting homophobia, biphobia and transphobia STILL spewing out of ace spaces like puss? When will you all realize you feel that way because you are directly adjacent to the oppressor class and have next to nothing in common with the LGBT community as a whole but nearly everything in common with the average cishet? Y’all aren’t queer for not wanting to fuck, only fucking sometimes “if you emotionally connect”, or being emotionally unavailable to romantic partnership. And if you aren’t also gay, trans, or bisexual, you never will be.

I got my laptop out for this, goddamn. Where would i even start?

"You’re pissed that no one took any accountability for their supposed “aphobia/arophobia”" This tells me everything about you, you possibly don't believe in aro/ace identities. You don't believe people can hate on, or be hateful to, aro/ace spec people. And yes I am pissed. Because it was fucked up.

I would try to justify it with "if this was transphobic/homophobia you wouldn't be acting this way" but im guess you don't care about that as you obviously don't see it the same way.

you were also probably someone who sent asks like this (but more hateful) in 2016 and before, you were probably also someone who posted and reblogged aphobic content and said it was "just a joke" later while still sending asks like this to people. Take of that anon and show your face coward.

"where is the accountability for the constant inhumane and disgusting homophobia, biphobia and transphobia STILL spewing out of ace spaces like puss?"

where is the accountability for the homophobia, biphobia and transphobia still spewing out of ALL lgbtqia+ spaces? Where is the accountability in the REAL world? Where is it anon? Where is the accountability for the acephobia, the arophobia and so many other "not real sexualities/gender identities" -phobias?

You saw a post about aphobia, and instead of being like "yeah that was f-ed up" or "i dont care" you went "but what about meeeeee" which is very all lives matter of you. (I am not comparing racism to homophobia, however the "what about me" bs can be summed up very easily using all lives matter as an example) For the fucking record, all spaces have assholes, all of them. On behalf of the "normal" aro/ace spec folks, i apologise for any homophobia, biphobia and/or transphobia you have experienced from us. "When will you all realize you feel that way because you are directly adjacent to the oppressor class and have next to nothing in common with the LGBT community as a whole but nearly everything in common with the average cishet?" This is a main aphobe talking point so thank you for doing this by the text book so i can break it down easier!

Three pages about asexual hate crimes which im sure every average cishet has to deal with (assuming their white and male) 1 2 (a booklet for asexual people to be actually fucking included) 3

An incredible interview is here but im going to quote a few things from it as theres a 99.9% chance aphobes wont click a link

"We know aromantics and asexuals have existed for as long as humans have. However, it’s only through the terminology recently going mainstream"

"Because of Freud’s influence, many of us grew up learning that our sex drive is the primary motivator of human behavior, but that isn’t the case."

"That mindset replicates itself within the community so that when a new identity emerges, or when people try to explain themselves, there is resistance and pushback from within the community with the mindset that “if we let these kinds of people in, then that will dilute the access to power and resources we have.” And it forces the community to maintain adjacency to white supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism, ableism and classism, all while leaving behind entire groups of people."

" Do you think there will be more identities joining the LGBTQIA+ acronym? JP: Yes. The more words we have to describe ourselves, the better we are understood."

"The biggest comparisons are the lack of visibility and exclusion from communities on the basis that they’re weird, different, othered or “don’t belong in this space.” Every queer person has experienced this narrative and as more join under the umbrella, the newbie will experience the same challenges, discrimination and misunderstandings as those who came before." and here is another article that has a quote i just live by

"When did trauma become the mark of queerness?"

but back to the aphobe ->

"Y’all aren’t queer for not wanting to fuck, only fucking sometimes “if you emotionally connect”, or being emotionally unavailable to romantic partnership. "

if you think queer = sex then so help me. queer does not equal sex, queer is sexuality. and guess what that is NOT always sexual. sexuality is who your attracted to, whether it be romantically OR sexually.

and Asexuality is a spectrum, some asexuals never have sex, some don't want to have sex but have had it due to trauma or peer pressure, some don't care for it, some did it for a partner but just dont care about it.

same with aromantic. Its a spectrum. By your process here, so so so so so many people are removed from the lgbtqia+ community but you couldn't possibly mean that-

"And if you aren’t also gay, trans, or bisexual, you never will be."

-oh you did.

So none of these are part of the community either then? Agender, Bigender, Intersex, genderfluid, pansexual, omnisexual, Omnigender, Questioning, transgender and queer?

interesting anon.

Anyways i hope my followers enjoyed that! Let me know what you think if you finished reading all this!

Love;

An aegosexual, pansexual, aromantic, trans guy with to much fucking time on his hands.

[sunsetcurveofficial]

You know, this might be the quickest I’ve seen a fandom turn toxic. I love jatp and desperately want there to be more seasons, but there’s a part of me that is hoping for this fandom to dissolve because of how awful it’s becoming. According to the pearl clutching fandom police crew, Charlie is now “openly racist” because he hasn’t posted about BLM. And naturally they’re singling out only Charlie. 1 of 2

2 of 2 Are these people just jealous that Charlie ended up being the most popular cast member and not their favorite and are so immature that they’re manufacturing any reason they can possibly think of to hate on him? Because that’s sure what it seems like.

okay, so. i know you already sent this on friday and i really wasn’t in the right headspace to get into this drama over the weekend, but i keep seeing a lot of bs about this and i see people getting harassed and bullied, and i see kenny being dragged into it and it just makes me irrationally angry because it’s so irritating. especially when people are attacked over something like this. some of those people act like charlie is the most horrible person on the entire planet. dude cares about sea life and the environment. that’s what he’s most passionate about, that’s what he feels confident in sharing information about, so that’s what he focuses on. there is literally nothing wrong with that.

like. yeah, i get it. i absolutely understand why people feel a little disappointed or hurt that he hasn’t explicitly posted anything about it. especially when you’re personally affected by an issue, you want the people you look up to or are a fan of to care just as much as you do. and he probably does. but here’s the thing. social media “activism” isn’t actually activism. it’s often highly performative - especially when you don’t feel informed or not educated enough to present your own helpful take. sharing a post on instagram will not save the world. it won’t do anything. charlie isn’t even the biggest account out there who hasn’t said anything. BY FAR. and most of his followers are already aware anyway. his bubble is filled with people who want a better world for poc—amongst other groups who need it. like lgbtq+. it’s so much more important what he does off social media. that’s where the real difference is made.

this demand of him to say something also poses the question, where does it end? if the mentions this issue, doesn’t he also have to address all the other issues? who makes the rules on that? the world is a horrible place right now. there is racism, sexism, ableism, there are homophobes, lgbt people are still being prosecuted in some countries, there are wars, there is human trafficking, india is dying from covid, children are starving, the planet is dying—you get the gist. so if he addresses one of those issues, doesn’t he have to address all of them? don’t we all, then? people are dying after all, right? who decides what issues are required to be shared by a celebrity and which aren’t?

the human mind isn’t made to process trauma on such a large scale every day. and yeah, charlie is also just a dude. there is no difference between him and us - except that he has some more followers on the internet. that doesn’t mean he’s obligated to sacrifice his mental health just to fulfill his performative role in social media activism. isn’t it much better if he focusses on one issue he’s well informed about and doesn’t just post about it because he’s guilt tripped into it?

people aren’t their social media account. what happens offline is what really matters. i wish people were less harsh with each other about this. i get it, i get that it’s hard. it’s so fucking hard. but it’s not charlie’s fault. there is so much better use for all this angry energy. to go out and really make a difference, for example.

that being said, i sadly have to agree that parts of this fandom are turning quite unbearably horrible lately.

[ablednt]

yeah and we also need to talk more about the edgy "jokes" to overt bigotry pipeline esp in cluster b spaces. i feel like alot of it is kinda waved away bc ppl will go "that's just how i am and i cant help it. if you disagree youre ableist." like they conflate ableism with being held accountable and non cluster b ppl that dont know better just eat it up. and those same ppl will be the ones who talk about how they had a bullying phase but they grew up. like sorry but you dont just get to usse other other kids for your growth. like its such a white mindset to objectify others like that. and kids of color and intellectually disabled kids are already subjected to enough w/o being treated like. idk almost like pets and then being told, "its just a joke" we didnt hurt you that bad, get over it etc. like no i will always be angry about that shit. and you cant hide behind symptoms either not only bc life doesn't work like that but also. the ppl they did that shit too had the same symptoms they did. they can't be like " you just don't get it you don't understand my struggle" bc we dealt with the same shit and didnt use it to abuse our peers.

Yeah that makes total sense! Also not as extreme (though it's connected imo) I noticed a lot of cluster Bs (and not always white but I'd say it's majority white) tend to fall pretty heavily into exclusionism and harassing other mentally ill people + systems and such because of that "I'm reclaiming being evil(tm) by being an asshole to everyone" phase and yeah the like. complete dismissal of their "bullying phases" as if that wasn't also intense bigotry that they need to unpack lmao. Like I feel like a lot of them go like "oh well I'm different now" and then turn around and are like "ok but I can be racist and also ableist as hell against anyone I want as long as I have a justification for it such as they're inconveniencing me <3"

And then there's the equally bad flipside that's like. The goddamn obnoxious thing white NDs do (that I very much did in the past and absolutely have to take accountability for cause it's cringe as all fuck of me/srs) where they're all like "i'm so Nice being too nice and empathetic and sweet and kind is my whole personality haha" and then when they're racist and someone points it out they're like hhow could u :((( my rsd is going off!!!! :(((((( im always so nice to everyone how dare you. And it's like please shut the fuck up if you were genuinely a kind person you wouldn't have to reassure everyone and yourself every other minute and you'd be actually listening when people are uncomfortable around you.

I guess either way it's just that white people are raised thinking that we deserve to be coddled and that the privilege we have is somehow something we earned or something we're owed when it's so very much not lmfao

And yeah!!! Like it's actually so goddamn infuriating that we're always like "well you don't know what it's like!!!!!!" as if POC aren't often neurodivergent and also like they don't go through things that we will never have any semblance of a clue about just because of the way that racism and ableism intersect. Like just? the audacity that a lot of white nds have to act like mental illness and neurodivergency is a white people thing or like it somehow cancels out their privilege and like it's not entirely our responsibility to make sure that mentally ill and neurodivergent people of color aren't being silenced/talked over in our spaces. ESPECIALLY when so much of the rights we have now we owe entirely to y'all like it's really ungrateful and cringy.

Like the state of the wider nd community and especially the cluster b community is honestly just fucking embarassing and I think a lot of that is due to racism and that's not really surprising since so many forms of bigotry are directly tied to it in the first place. Like it's just a lot and I can't even imagine what it must feel like to have to bear the brunt of that.

All that said I hope that you're able to take care of yourself/g and that you have the support that you need you deserve so much better than you've gotten from us that's for sure/srs

[noddytheornithopod]

So I’m in chapter 3 and WAIT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NOW A CULT???

So... what’s up with the meteors? How does this relate to everything? Seriously, if this ties to my tragedy theory then what even is this? Did Kazuichi engineer meteors or something to hit the Earth??? Also... translators, why the fuck did you need to use “invalid” to mean disabled people? That’s pretty fucking ableist. Even if the equivalent was still in Japanese (which is still BS of course, ableism should never be tolerated, don’t make me go Monodam on you)

Okay so everyone’s now suspicious of Maki, but Kaito wants to see the best in everyone so he believes that there’s more to her than just being an assassin.

Holy shit, so Monodam not only killed his fellow Monokubs, but now he launches a coup and disposes Monokuma from running things. Now Monokuma is just a silent husk of his former self. :v Honestly it’s intriguing but also hilarious. Monodam wants everyone to just get along, but he’s now forcing it. Poor guy was obviously treated like shit by the others (especially Monokid of course), so he clearly wants revenge and thus is on his power trip. He almost sounds like he doesn’t want the killing to continue, but I can’t tell TBH. To you I say... Monodam is still best Monokub.

Tsumugi... you’re rude to Gonta for saying he’s suddenly a coward and you make a comment about scary asylums full of “lunatics”... don’t test me young lady, you already made perverted comments, don’t push it.

Lol, the empty rooms have the ghosts of Monokuma and the dead Monokubs.

Okay, Kiyo seems like he’s orgasming at the stuff in the anthropology lab. Also his threat to Kokichi was amazing. But yeah, that was fun. Also wow, stuff talking about communicating with the dead, that’s creepy... and Shuichi even has a brief moment of “well I WOULD like to talk to Kaede”.

Angie’s lab was I guess a thing. I’m sure the locking will come to play in the murder. Oddly not much to say here, unlike about Miss Yonaga herself as you’ll see...

Okay this fourth floor in general is pretty creepy, but in a cool way (not like a CERTAIN SOMEONE I’ll get to). The computer was something, IDK what that was about, though I guess the “new world” aspect does sound like the Neo-World. Wonder what the heck this is gonna mean in the future.

So Tenko has a lab now, and she can train there, cool. Also wow, she got real for a second.

Okay so... what the fuck was that Miu and Keebo scene? Like yeah it seems like Miu was cleaning Keebo, but they were also clearly attracted to each other. It almost looked like an actual sex scene (or was it actually one?)???

So the memory flashlight only shows that weird funeral we saw in chapter 2, but now with everyone instead of just Kaede. From what I’m guessing, the whole “erasing their memories to live normal lives” thing required them all to fake their deaths and that’s what the funeral is about. IDK why they’re all together, were they all a class before? Were they just remaining Ultimates? Did they all fake their deaths in the same event? Of course, this could be more deception too...

Okay wow, Kaito is really concerned about Maki. He brings her out to train with him and Shuichi, and even though she resists for a bit, she decides to give in. She doesn’t stay around for long, but it’s something.

Okay so the morning... we still get a motive, though is this now all to get along given Monodam is in control? Or are we still doing the killing game? Anyway... this motive claims to allow resurrection of the dead, specifically one of their four classmates.

Okay so... ANGIE WHAT THE FUCK? When I noticed Tsumugi mention Atua I got suspicious, but then Keebo mentioned Atua too... and then we see fucking Tenko has joined them too. Angie then seduces Gonta with her shit and welp. Now half of the class has been brainwashed into Angie’s “student council” (read: Atua cult). Tsumugi, you’re no longer fave, you’re cancelled for being an Angie puppet! :v

So it seems like Angie seduced them all. Gonta is simple and believes whatever is told to him, Himiko needed someone to look up to, Tsumugi feels insecure and plain so a “higher purpose” probably is seductive sounding, Keebo sounded jealous that Miu was with the New World computer more than him so Angie used that to convince him that authoritarianism was best for stability. Tenko I’m not so sure about, but it feels like she wanted to be with Himiko so gave in. And of course, they’re all trapped in the school so Angie’s alternative idea might be appealing.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually like Kokichi a lot more now. I’ll take the annoying prick over the creepy cult! Obviously as a liar he sees through Angie’s BS. As annoying as he can be, he certainly knows his shit and of course is fun to try and deduct what he’s up to. Kiyo as an anthropologist would also know how cults work and see their BS. Miu is too sciencey, and you could argue Kaito is too but for him it also becomes more about the rampant authoritarianism they bring now as well as him not wanting to give up and truly survive (which Kaede also helped inspire in him). Maki and Shuichi also feel the same (as do the others, Kaito is just really strong in his love of freedom), but Shuichi also feels indebted to Kaede to get everyone out alive.

I also tried a free time with Kokichi, but I fucked it up. I guess Shuichi did briefly learn a bit about how people brainwash others though. :v

Because I hate myself, I saw the goddamn man’s fantasy scene. It becomes even more uncomfortable when you realise this is Angie’s organising. Monokuma showing up was funny though.

Kaito feels really uneasy, I’m not sure if it’s just the cult stuff or also the idea of resurrecting the dead. Maybe he wants to resurrect Kaede, and despite how scary and impossible he finds the idea he can’t get the idea out of his head?

So because Tsumugi is cancelled, I am now hanging out with my weird anthropology buddy Kiyo. His free times are still pretty interesting with the anthropology stuff, though him mentioning his sister and how she inspired him was a nice backstory. Also if she’s only friends with girls, is that a part of why he makes himself look and act so effeminate?

Kaito doesn’t even go out to train at night. I’m worried about him. Maki actually comes with Shuichi and they just do it together themselves. From the sounds of it, Maki didn’t choose to become an assassin, but was made to be one, and now feels detached from her humanity as a result. It’s also why she’s so good at pushups, lol.

Okay wow, the council stopping Maki was really creepy. As if the prejudice wasn’t enough towards her, Angie’s authoritarian streak now forbids anyone going out at night. If she was annoying before, I now hate her.

Well the morning was really creepy. The student council announces their preparations for resurrection, and it sounds like they’re even considering human sacrifices. Yeah, we’re getting pretty out there.

So the Monokubs bring a memory light to try and create some peace... but Angie destroys it. Of course her minions agree with her because their council is organised so that Atua decides everything... and as point it out, it just means Angie is running everything. Kaito is mega pissed off (also because the exit hole is blocked off, but this is the last straw), and honestly I feel him.

Monodam, Angie stopped them from getting along by destroying the flashlight. I’m just saying, you COULD punish her, maybe whip out the Exisals or something... YES I WANT ANGIE TO DIE, SHE’S REACHED A POSITION ONLY TERUTERU HAS: “I hate you with all my guts and I hope you die.”

I’m up to the free times now, but gosh, things were so intense I had to stop. Cults and brainwashing like this really get under my skin. Like, if Angie were simply a creepy cult leader, I wouldn’t hate her as much... but she’s clearly Polynesian. So basically: not only do we have a racial stereotype of someone who acts simple and naively kind and a whole host of other Polynesian and Indigenous stereotypes... but now she’s deceptive and untrustworthy, sucking people into her cult to grow power for herself. Seriously, fuck Angie, and fuck her creators for thinking it’s acceptable to have your resident foreigner for the game be a Polynesian who’s weird, primitive and now obsessively religious to the point of authoritarianism and brutality.

Okay, so... where will things go from here? I’m not even sure at this rate. Angie is obviously going to play a central role in the next case. Whether she’s murdered or is the murder is a question though, though if you look at Mikan revealing she had Despair Disease and remembered her Despair self and Celeste being found out as Taeko Yasuhiro, I won’t be surprised if Angie is the killer. It’s arguably predictable, but it’s satisfying too. :V Because I mean, Angie is clearly using the Atua religion as a means to gain power for herself, and in the first investigation Kaede when talking to her notes that her religion sounds like some kind of scam, I forget the exact lines but I think it mentioned guys on the internet too? So basically: Angie’s a hack and she’s gonna be exposed.

That being said, Angie WOULD be predictable as the killer like I said. I COULD see Kaito snapping and killing her as a self sacrifice on his behalf just to remind everyone of what Kaede wanted and that giving up isn’t living (wow, that’s like Makoto at the end of the first game... but with dying).

So the third chapter is always the double murder one... but worst case scenario: we get a Jonestown massacre situation. Not just two murders, but as many as five: I’d be surprised if we went that far, but the worst case scenario is Angie ordering her followers to kill themselves for the resurrection ritual to work. Of course, if they’re not ruled as suicides then that’s a problem - I’m PRETTY sure the two or more rule was in it, but I admit I’m not entirely sure, so maybe there’s leeway. Regardless, we’re in dangerous waters. I mean, Angie DID mention human sacrifice as a possibility. Maybe Angie could also order the defiant ones to be killed because they’re disturbing the peace (in other words, she makes the others kill FOR her), I mean this IS a clear allegory for the dogma of organised religion and even authoritarianism in general. It’s literally a cult.

Also like the second game, people’s minds are being fucked with in the third chapter, it’s just now someone instead of something. :v

So... what if the whole resurrecting the dead thing is just bullshit? What if it’s just to see how far someone would go to do this, even if it means killing someone? And of course this would be a failure of getting along, so Monodam will be mega pissed off, and the blackened failed the test.

That being said, what if the resurrection IS real? Obviously there will be a weird explanation for it (maybe the New World computer ties to it, especially if it’s a Neo-World thing?), but Rantaro being back would obviously be a big deal. That being said, what if instead of him it’s Kaede who comes back? Angie dismissed her as a murderer, but Kaede just got her target wrong and fucked up. And I mean, I’m sure Shuichi and Kaito would be happy to see her at least (provided they can believe she’s really back).

Angie and Monodam share interesting parallels. They claim to want the same thing, but their methods are different. Monodam is taking control through fear, while Angie brainwashes people into following her with promises of love and peace. That being said, Monodam, please take care of Angie. She IS the core of why they’re not getting along. ;P

[loveistheonlyway]

I actually grew up being taught that Christians were being murdered by muslim and hindu people. Like.. I was taught from a very (p much birth) early age that Christians were being killed at the stake. That Christians were a minority. Add that to the list too bc we are very much NOT THE MINORITY. Christianity has become the biggest MLM of them all. If it always has been, I'm not sure. I haven't reached that point in my emotional growth yet.

Plus the rampant racism, sexism, and ableism in a vast majority of churches is just... phew. Traditional Christian wedding vows typically state that the woman has to obey her husband. Obey is literally the word used. My mom (granted she's an abusive, ableist, racist asshole of her own merit) was actually shamed by the church for wanting that line taken out of her vows to my dad! Shamed!!!

Plus, I have been outright denied seating in MULTIPLE CHURCHES (like 4-5) because of medical equipment/being disabled (PTSD from rape apparently doesn't exist in most Christian churches btw, fun fact for ya) For a religion based on "welcoming everyone uwu", that's pretty damn elitist. Using disabled people as inspiration porn, and as a feel good story, then barring them from service? Wow okay.

AND ANOTHER THING? You thought I was done??? HELL NO. I have been publicly called a slut (and other crap) in THREE different churches. Once, in front of the entire congregation! The pastor stopped the sermon for it!! Wanna know why? Well, I used to help watch kids during the sermon, and my rapist/abuser/ex and I were both dismissed due to them having extra help that day. On our way back to our seats, the pastor stopped the sermon to call me a slut! Did he say shit about my ex?? You betcha he didn't!! I was to blame for what??? Helping kids??? The other times?? Clothing. Because being disabled + being poor = being only able to wear torn up jeans and not dresses. Yeah. Roll that around in your noggin a bit.

And RACISM OOOOOH boy. See, if y'all know me, I am Native American. Not full, but enough that you can tell (not super relevant to this, but it adds context bc white people wearing Native clothes equals cutesy and cool, dark people wearing Native clothes equals dirty). I follow quite a few of my culture's traditions, and I cannot TELL YOU the amount of racist remarks Christians have made toward me. Asking to touch my braids, if they can pull them (sexually, mind you, which yea gross af), if I live in a tippee (wrong culture but whatever), their grandma was a princess, etc. I've also been told my people deserved to die (Cherokee, Trail of Tears, ya get it). By Christians. I thought one of the commandments was Thou Shalt Not Kill?? Shoulda been an 11th called Thou Shalt Not Harrass. Apparently white Christian men didn't get the hint. Anyway, yeah. No good. But Maddie, why did they say that??? Oh, ya know, standard colonization bs. Assimilation. Yada yada.

So yeaaaaah. Loada shit for that list up top. I could go on (and on and on), but you guys get the gist. Which, I feel I should add, I know I'm not like the Standard in feeling this way as a Christian. I've never met ANYONE else who feels as tired of the bs as I am. There's a reason I stopped trying to go to churches or Christian events, and it was the koolaid. Just my 2 cents.

one of my father’s hindu colleagues was surprised that my family didn’t make everyone say a christian prayer before we sat down to eat dinner. we were like “….this is your house.” and she laughed and said that her christian friends “make” her pray all the time. like what the fuck. how fucking rude can you be to make the host pray to your god. you are in their fucking house.

[withasmoothroundstone]

Scarcity is not an excuse for ableism (or anything else like that), ever.

This is an area where I see even disabled people getting confused.  Like, even when we know deep down somewhere in our gut that it’s vastly wrong and dangerous, we don’t always have answers when people say these things to us, and that can cause us to doubt whether we actually have a good reason for our viewpoints or not.

I can’t count -- can’t even begin to count -- the number of times I’ve heard “there’s too few resources to go around” used to justify ableism.  Used to justify tons of other things, too, but at least people fighting those other things tend to have come up with answers to it.  Disabled people haven’t, always, even when we know instinctively that something isn’t right with what we’re being told to believe.

So it runs something like this:

“You say it’s wrong to deny someone a lung transplant because they’re autistic.  But there aren’t enough lungs to go around.  Surely we have to choose somehow!”

“Isn’t it a waste of resources to keep Americans alive on respirators and with feeding tubes when some people in some countries can’t even afford the basics?”

Well.  No.  And I can finally articulate why.

Take the organ transplant thing.

Yes, there is a horrible, horrible shortage of organs, for all kinds of reasons, some of which are solvable and some which may never be, depending on a lot of complicated stuff.  But regardless of why there’s too few organs to meet the need, there really are too few, they’re a limited resource and not everyone who needs an organ is going to be able to get it even if we believe every last one of them should get a chance at transplant.

(This isn’t theoretical to me.  I have bronchiectasis.  It’s mild enough I’ll likely never need a transplant, but bronchiectasis that gets severe enough can result in people being on the transplant list.  If that happens to me, I hold very little hope for getting a transplant.)

So.

The question these people aren’t asking.

Basically... certain kinds of disabled people are denied organ transplants for purely ableist reasons that have to do with the idea that our lives fundamentally have less value or less quality of life -- automatically -- than other kinds of disabled people.  (I can’t really call anyone sick enough to need a transplant nondisabled.).

But even after you remove all the disabled people where the issue is 100% ableism preventing transplant from being seen as okay or viable.  And even if you grant that there may sometimes be medical issues that render a transplant a bad idea compared to someone else (although that’s a slippery slope and there has to be a huge amount of caution even in seemingly clear-cut situations, because often what seems clear-cut can have deadly levels of hidden bias riddled all through it).  You eliminate all those people?  There’s still not enough organs to go around.

And yet, once you’ve got the people who actually make the transplant list, there at some point has to be stuff that’s just left entirely to chance and other factors, rather than the doctors picking and choosing who is more deserving, more viable, etc.

So like, why is it automatically assumed to be okay to use certain kinds of disability to narrow down your transplant list, when other kinds of disability can’t be used, and other factors can’t be used?  (At least not officially.)

And the only real answer to that question that makes any sense is, “Because this isn’t about what’s better for people medically, it’s about some people being automatically considered more worthy of life than others, some people’s lives being automatically considered more worthy of throwing loads of resources into than others, and it’s completely unethical to use such assumptions to make choices about who lives and dies in a situation like this.”

Like, let’s say there’s 100 people who need a particular organ, 20 of them have disabilities that are automatically or frequently used to exclude people from transplant lists, and you’ve got 10 organs to go between all of them even in the best-case scenario... you’ve still got 80 people left over.  So how is choosing between 80 people in a semi-random way different than choosing between 100 people in a semi-random way? If you really valued the lives of those 20 other people, if you really saw them as deserving a chance, you wouldn’t throw them out on their ass and tell them to go die.  You’d treat them just like the other 80 people.  You’d handle the problems of scarcity in a way that was fair to everyone involved, the way you try to be with the people who do make the transplant list.  

And seriously?  Please don’t try to “educate” me about transplants.  If it’s not organs, it’s something else people need to survive, and it’s always roughly the same groups of people singled out for not even getting the chance to survive, regardless of what the resource is.  And disabled people are always included within the first group of people targeted in times of scarcity.  Always.  (Yeah, there’s lots of others, but I can’t write about it all at once, my brain won’t do words that way.  So anything I say here applies to anyone this kind of deadly high-level BS is applied to.)

Like... pretty much any time I’ve brought up ableism, I get told “There’s not enough _______ to go around,” even in contexts where it makes no sense at all unless your reasoning is very, very ableist.  Like disabled people have brought up questions about disability-selective abortion, only to be told that “There’s too many people in the world already” (something also used to justify things like food not being a human right on the basis of race and class).  Reflexively, before people even bother to listen to why we have concerns about this.  (We’re also assumed to be pro-life or questioning the universal right to abortion  in such contexts, whereas feminists bringing up questions about sex-selective abortion are not generally treated like that.)  Or why we should live outside institutions.  Or why people in the UK who need respirators aren’t stealing resources from poor people in developing countries.  This zero-sum bullshit only works at all if you accept that disability is a valid reason for people’s lives to not be worth as much.  

So next time someone tells you that your membership in a group means you automatically don’t get some kind of resource that is (really or in their mind) scarce, ask why you automatically get counted out, while other people don’t even if there’s still not enough to go around?  And be sure to check and see whether the thing is actually scarce or just built up in people’s minds as scarce to justify denying it to people.  If we’re equal to you in value, then you can’t use our disability as a reason to choose these things any more than you can use some totally “innocuous” difference that would never be used and be considered the same as total randomness.  People can’t just assume that disability is a quality that justifies instant disqualification from those with even a chance at survival.  And even people who think they’ve thought it through all the way.... often haven’t.

So...yeah.  I’m really sick of this entire thing, and I’m sick of it being a way to shut us up because we don’t have an answer that we can articulate clearly.  (Don’t get me started on having to be able to articulate something clearly in order to believe it, either.  Especially because I have no chance of articulating that beyond these two inadequate sentences.)

[anautisticdragon-blog]

Atypical

Sigh.

Where do I even begin with this? So, Netflix wants everyone to believe that all autistic people are these violent monsters, prone to rape, stalking, physical abuse, and worse. That might be true of manipulative sociopaths, but usually autistic people just mind their own business and don't make a habit of punching women. I want to just point out that from the autistic people I've spoken with who've been involved in long-term, loving relationships versus the neurotypicals I know who break up every three months or so? Yeah. And is it autistic people who're the people you usually find involved in domestic abuse statistics? No.

This is the kind of thing that plays on my mind's desire to be tribalistic. I have to take a very, very deep breath and remind myself that whilst it's true that some neurotypicals can be vapid, hollow-minded, manipulative, borderline, and nauseatingly parasitic, that's not really true of the majority.

I want to think that. I have to. I can't keep falling prey to the kind of tribalism that results in these smears being used against us. It's the golden rule. So, do the sordid examples of humanity responsible for Atypical fit the descriptors above? Yeah. I'd say that's true of the actors, too, for going along with it. Is this true of most people? Nah. And yes, there are autistic people who can be like that too. The problem is is that reality can be twisted by the 'default state.'

This is something I've talked about at length. At length. And I'm going to again. I'll do it until I'm blue in the face. I'll do it until I die. I'm sick of it. It's such an innate flaw with teh human condition. I actually think we need an AI to conquer and nanny us because we can't get over something so easily conquered. If I can be aware of it and fight it, why can't others? Why would a show like this ever make it to Netflix? I'm not being unfair, I don't think. Do you remember the premiere of 'Neurotypicals,s' a series about the self-proclaimed "beautiful" zombie-vampires who prey on the unwitting by being degenerate manipulators? I didn't think so. That's because that never happened, of course.

And yet here we are, Atypical. A show that's doing basically that with autistic people, putting every horrible autistic stereotype front and centre. And why aren't we getting 'Neurotypicals?' That's because neurotypicals are the 'default state,' the correct way of being. That's how they view themselves, because they're taught to think that way, and they don't realise why it's wrong. That's why we have entitled white men who think that prejudice is 'those filthy plebeians who talk about me behind my back.'

This reminds me of Dreamfall Chapters.

I had a lot of faith in Ragnar before this happened. I still remember just how disappointed I felt in him. I wasn't angry. It was just sad. What did he do, what did Dreamfall do? It had a scene where someone was verbally stripped down and abused for being autistic. Ragnar's excuse? "If people in the real world can be so terrible, so can people in believable stories. Grow a spine!"

Lovely fellow. I really had more faith in him than that. You see, the problem was actually not that the prejudice was there in the first place, but the self-congratulatory air with which it happened.

No one called it out, there was no one to chide the abuser and speak up against a rather obvious social faux pas and taboo. It normalised ableism and made it appear okay, normal, and acceptable. It no doubt made ableists happy, to feel normalised by this game. That's just sick. What was Ragnar's response? He knew that this was the reason that people were objecting, but he stuck to his original argument and spammed it across the Internet in the hopes it would just go away. Eventually, of course, it did. Mostly because Dreamfall Chapters was a massive disappointment in and of itself, as a package, going far beyond just the autistic slight. It was forgettable, so I suppose that's a small blessing.

The thing is? This kind of thing keeps happening. Now it's happening with Atypical, which Netflix thinks is okay. Would Netflix have greenlit 'Neurotypicals,' do you think? I don't think so.

No, autistic people have to deal with this shit all the time. Frankly, looking at the current climate, things haven't improved much since I was young. And when I was young I was physically abused beyond measure just for being autistic. I think that things for autistic people right now are worse even than for people of colour and women. It's unfortunate that I have to say that, but look up the Judge Rotenberg Center and tell me I'm entirely off the mark. In fact, have a read of this letter.

When was the last time this happened to a neurotypical? And this is what fires my brain to get tribal about it, to despise neurotypicals. Because NTs are blind to this, because they never take notice, because they think it's funny and cute to take the piss out of autistic people? It creates this division, this tribalism, and it's really difficult to fight it. It feels like a one-sided fight. I feel that, as an autistic person, I am fighting my own mind -- day in, day out -- to not despise neurotypicals. And every day I see new examples of neurotypicals abusing us, treating us like shit, or just having a 'good old laugh' at our expense.

It's really tiring, you know?

The whole 'default state' thing sickens me. If you're white, healthy, cishet, privileged, good for you! You're the 'default state,' you're neurotypical, you're 'normal!' That's great! Now look around you and see how many people are weaponising that to make the lives of others miserable. I'm so detached from humanity that I've even become sensitive to the prejudices in fantasy settings, which I've discussed in prior posts. Often I feel more sympathy for and open empathy towards non-humans than humans.

The humans in fantasy settings just always come across as the abusive, nasty examples I've had to deal with all my life. The non-humans feel like autistic people, persons of colour, and those others who're outside of the 'default state.' I mean, when a neuronormative person who's a part of the 'default state' and not aware of it, when they look at a picture of a bunch of 'heroes' ganging up on a dragon, it comes across as 'epic,' to them, it's 'heroic.'

I see a bunch of looters and bandits, who've burst into someone's home with murder in their eyes. I see the dragon as someone who's found themselves in a position where they have to defend themself against invaders, against people who'd kill them for no reason other than that they're a dragon. That makes me feel a little ill. This is the world I live in, where even fantasy prejudice affects me. I can't help it. When I live in this reality, one where Atypical is a thing, can you blame me?

I'm going to end this on a more positive note and give a shout out to my favourite boys, the McElroys. They've been making strides in trying to be inclusive. What I will say is that if you really want to do that, one thing I'd love to see in The Adventure Zone is a believable autistic character. One that isn't just all about the stereotypes. I'd really love to see that. One that isn't portrayed as sociopathic (which is wrong) just because they have so much empathy it short circuits them sometimes and they have to withdraw, and so on. I'd really, really appreciate that.

This is why I'm glad I don't watch 'normal' TV any more. Fuck 'normal' TV. Fuck Netflix, frankly. I'd prefer something that's inclusive and doesn't make money off of ruining the lives of others. So, yeah. Fuck Netflix. I'd prefer to give my money to people who choose to be inclusive and permissive. That's something I truly value about the McElroys, and they're a constant example to me that neurotypicals aren't all terrible, awful, parasitic, exploitative people. Whenever my mind wants to fall into that pit trap, I remind myself that they exist.

Could be that they're all as autistic as fuck, of course. Heh. But I doubt it. I'll just take them as examples of good neurotypicals, proof that they can exist.

I know this has become a bit of a thing to say about them by this point but... They're good boys. I wish that more people could create entertainment founded on the truly inclusive ideals that they have instead of othering people for entertainment. That shit is harmful. It's going to just reinforce negative stereotypes of autistic people, and autistic kids are going to grow up to another generation of people who aren't self-aware enough to realise that Atypical and shows like it aren't accurate depictions of autism.

At the end of the day, though, I don't hate neurotypicals. I won't. In fact, I categorically refuse to let tribalism win. I want to reach them rather than just turning this hate back on them. So I'll just say that I wish that more of them were aware of this 'default state' is really toxic, and how miserable it makes the lives of others when it's weaponised for their entertainment. It's really not cool.

Not cool at all.

Edit: So, I've done some more reading about this and the autistic community at large seems to be in consensus about Atypical. It's generally just neurotypical writers creating a 'ha ha, look at the idiot' show for other neurotypicals. It's quite painfully obvious in how they did their best to avoid casting autistic actors for the main role, as that may have -- oh no -- resulted in someone calling them on their evil BS.

It gets even better. Check out this review from TV Line. The excuse this reviewer gives is golden. Apparently, for not being the default state -- O Glorious Superiority -- autistic people are unfit for television. We need neurotypical actors to humanise us. What the actual fuck? This is precisely the kind of ableism shows like Atypical promote. It's pure exploitation.

It really is just exploiting us for NT yuks, pure and simple. It's awful, honestly. I watched bits of it here and there and I couldn't stand it.

I saw one post on Twitter that had the following exchange:

"So, you're going to marry your best friend..." "Edison?" "No, not your turtle!" "But you said my best friend!"

And this was followed with 'Atypical is my new, favourite show.' Why? Because it's funny to laugh at the poor, sub-human, troglodytic autistic retards? Oh, poor little hobgoblins.

Sigh.

My brain wants to give into the hate so badly, I can't convey to you how difficult this fight is when all I see are neurotypicals talking about how fantastic Atypical is.

It fucking hurts. It just makes it all the more difficult to not just blanket hate neurotypicals. I am trying, believe me.

I am trying. But Atypical is also trying, it's fraying my last nerve.

That TV Line interview, god. Why do neurotypicals hate us this much? I can't get over it. I try not to make blanket statements but I don't exactly see neurotypicals talking about how bad Atypical is for us. Like I said, generally they're just being vapid all over Twitter and Facebook about how much they love it.

I'm trying so god damned hard to not blanket hate neurotypicals, then something like Atypical has to come along and make the fight against my own darker urges all the more difficult. I don't want to be responsible for that kind of prejudice. It's just so difficult.

I don't even hate them, I guess. I just... I hate them in a way for what I have to be, and the kind of fight I have to fight against myself to not hate them. Which may sound illogical, I know. I admit to having hated neurotypicals for the longest time for precisely this sort of thing. It hurts. It hurts a fucking lot.

I just feel that as much as I try to not hate neurotypicals, they want to hurt me back for trying to hate them twice as bad.

Why? Why is that?

I'm just going to leave this as another shout out to the McElroys, I'd love to see them talk about this. I think it'd do me good to hear neurotypicals actually decry this kind of thing. I just hope they happen to see this, I really do.

That TV Line interview... FML. I'll just leave this at that.

[jewishtango]

just. long asd ramblings

man like. i have so many thoughts abt being on the spectrum like. sometimes i feel weird for like, playing into stereotypes (i’m ace, math is my special interest and im good at it, whatever other bs) but sometimes i feel like im not “autistic enough” or some bullshit bc people usually cant tell which is some internalized ableism i know but like i dont know how some people deal w people invalidating their selfdiagnosis bc like i get that most people are seriously misinformed abt the spectrum and think of like a white boy playing with trains or someone nonverbal, which, there are definitely people on the spectrum who fit those descriptions and thats not bad at all but they dont get that you can be autistic and not fit the stereotypes. one teacher i had got really fucking suprised when i told him and was all, “but you dont seem autistic” and like “oh ive worked with autistic kids before” which like. ugh. and idk how i wouldve dealt without being able to go like, well obviously then youre a fucking expert my dude but 5 well trained mental health professionals all looked at me and agreed, theres a kid whose definitely on the spectrum. 

and yeah i have this fucking. struggle. of all this internalized ableism and weird guilt at how fucking “””high functioning”””” i am and how many layers of social mimicry and coping mechanisms i use everyday in every conversation and how hard my brain is working to make me seem as “”normal”” as possible or whatever and every time i slip up, because i’m tired, because i’m sick, because my defenses are down or its something really important to me, i feel so humiliated. and then i’m angry with myself for being humiliated bc i know that im not just being childish or throwing a tantrum for no reason but i hate people seeing me like that. i always feel like theyre going to be weirded out by me, after that.

i dunno. probably a year or two ago my mom took the blanket off my bed to get it drycleaned bc it needed a deep clean and i like lost my shit bc i Could Not sleep without it and she hadnt told me she was doing it or anything. and yesterday i spilled an entire glass of water on my bed and my blanket was right there and i thought it was wet and i wasnt going to be able to sleep with it and i got so upset and my sister came to help dry off my bed and i was talking and at some point she just turns and goes “stop yelling at me” and i hadnt even realized i was yelling and i ended up crying about my blanket and even when she assured my it was just a little damp in one spot and i was curled up in bed with it i still kept crying bc just like. i need my blanket. i can sleep without it if im not at home and if i had to get a new blanket i would learn to cope but im still dependent on that regularity and comfort.

i hold this guilt and humiliation over the times i’ve been oblivious and socially awkward and childish over things because im on the spectrum so close to my chest. i hold off on saying, straight up, “i’m autistic” because i feel like i havent earned it. i still struggle with not being ableist to my fellows bc society has taught me to look down on everything different and to hide myself and i’ve internalized these “rules” of society so deeply that when i see people “breaking” them i end up looking down on them bc its all mixed up in my own self recriminations. fucking. i’m trying. i dont know how to exist without all these layers of faking normal. i don’t even know if there is anything underneath.