#yeah this is about baby reindeer

[zombiejette]

Cis men will still literally do anything but go to therapy. Even perform therapy on stage to themselves while a captive audience watches their one-man mental breakdown. But real therapy? Never heard of her.

[cakebatteronabrickwall]

best new shows i've seen this year:

- baby reindeer

- lost boys and fairies

- fallout

- ripley

- big mood

- shardlake

- black doves

best returning shows i've seen this year:

- slow horses (season 4)

- from (season 3)

- cheaters (season 2)

- the bear (season 3)

- interview with the vampire (season 2)

- hacks (season 3)

- big boys (season 2)

best "old" shows i've seen this year for the first time:

- peep show

- cucumber

- lambs of god

worst shows i've seen this year new and old:

- umbrella academy

- rivals (!!!)

- the gentlemen

- kaos

[cinewhore]

just finished baby reindeer..

[mariesoliver]

Just finished baby reindeer so much to think about so much to process but i will say absolutely magnificent show i am so glad i watched it (even though it was harrowing at times). Really shows the best art can do. Also i wish richard gadd a peaceful happy and chill life from now on bc holy shit did that man go through hell

[aakeysmash]

christmas shopping, matching pajamas and family discounts

college!sukuna masterlist

"Why are we here again?" college!sukuna huffs from next to you for the umpteenth time.

"Stop acting like a little bitch. You asked me that 20 seconds ago, Yuuji is acting better than you," you hiss out, glaring at him. It's true though: the kid is trotting right in front of you two, not a care in the world, while his caretaker is currently dragging his feet on the pavement you're walking on.

"And you still didn't answer, fucker," he barks back, grimacing, kicking a little rock.

"Yes, I fucking did! I told you this morning we were going Christmas shopping! You never listen to me," you start, jutting your lip out and trying to play the victim. You know he hates it when you do it. "Maybe I should tell Yuuji how his big brother hates the idea of going shopping with him," you provoke, whispering so that only you and him know what you're talking about. He scoffs, offended.

"Liar. Don't you fucking dare-"

"Are you two fighting again?" whines Yuuji, turning around and pouting. You and Sukuna glance at each other before shaking your head at the same moment.

"No, we're getting along so well," you force yourself to smile.

"Yeah, she said she's so glad I'm accompanying her. Matter of fact, she said she's going to offer us lunch," Sukuna continues, an evil glint in his eyes when he hears you gasp.

"I did not-"

"Really?! Yippie!" screams Yuuji, coming to hug you violently. You stumble back, gritting your teeth, and reciprocate the hug while narrowing your eyes at the grinning tattooed man in front of you. He knows you're not able to say no to his brother.

When Yuuji runs inside the mall, you push Sukuna's shoulder, mumbling "bitch". He just chuckles, then boldly gets you close by placing one open hand on your lower back. You know he's just going to tease you, so you put both hands on his chest to fight back, trying to put some distance between you two, but the place is crowded and everyone is looking at you. A woman passes by you and looks at you weirdly, so you stop wriggling in his grasp, and he delicately pushes you even closer. You're chest to chest, his breath fanning over your features, grin ever present on his face, enjoying how you look pissed out of your mind. From the outside, it looks like you're hugging each other, when in reality he just puts his mouth on your ear to utter "Never play with me, baby. I know how to drive you mad," then frees you and walks behind Yuuji with his hands in his pockets, not turning back to see if you're following him or not. You're seething.

"Oh my God, Yuuji, look at these!" you swoon over a pair of pajama pants. They're a soft brown, decorated with little green Christmas' trees and little reindeers, a bright red Merry Christmas! on both knees.

"It's a set!" squeals the kid next to you, grabbing the sweater right on top of the piece of cloth you have in your hands. You both notice at the same time that the set comes both in adults' and kids' sizes. "Can we take it?" he asks you looking up, puppy eyes activated. Your heartstrings are pulled so tight you feel like you could implode if you look at his face for a second longer.

"Of course we can, I thought it was obvious," you say excitedly, grabbing his hands and jumping up and down with him in a circle while he laughs, smile on full display and brown eyes squeezed shut happily.

Sukuna, who has kept watching his phone for the majority of the time you've been inside the mall, raises his gaze when he hears your laugh mingled with his brother's. If you had been looking at him in that instant, you would've seen the brief soft glimpse that passed on his whole face when he took in how happy you both looked together. When you turn around, though, he's already schooled his features to appear bored.

"Are we done?" he yawns.

"Would you like to match with us?" you ask him, at the same time. You scowl and he scoffs.

"Hell no, girl. I'm not with whatever stupid shit y'all are doing," he says, trying to act tougher than what he actually feels like. Seeing you being kind to the only person in the world who shares 100% of his genes makes him feel things he doesn't want to acknowledge right now.

"You're a party pooper, 'Kuna," Yuuji mumbles, frowning. "Can we still match? I really want us to match," he adds, shily, looking at you. You're shocked. His cheeks are getting redder the more you gawk at him. "Sorry, you can say no-"

Your kiss on his cheek resonates all around the ally you're currently staying in. "Of course I want to match with you. We don't need your evil brother, Yuuji. Let's go try them on," you sweetly say, taking his hand and walking away from Sukuna, not before flipping him off. Yuuji is so giddy that he follows you like he's walking on clouds, his face slightly hurting from how hard he's cheesing.

Sukuna just stands there, baffled and even a little offended. He stiffens, noticing he still has his phone in his hands. He's so fast with it he's the first to remain shocked by his own actions: he hears the click of his camera and looks at the pic he's just taken, feeling his chest heavier than it's ever been. It's a beautifully taken pic, where you and Yuuji are squinting at each other, hand in hand, laughing. He turns off his screen, shakes his head and catches up to you. You're going to give him a headache if you continue being like this. Or a heart attack. Or both.

"Hello, what can I do for you?" the nice old lady at the checkout says.

"Hi, we'd like to take these two pieces," you kindly respond, handing her the pajamas you and Yuuji just tried on.

"Let me see... oh, we actually have a family discount on this! Is the daddy not going to take anything?" she innocently asks, looking over at your older roommate.

"Yo, I'm not his-"

Your eyes almost fall out of your sockets. "Ah ah ah! Silly us! We forgot his one! Just give me a second," you interrupt a scowling Sukuna, covering his mouth with your hand before he can finish his sentence, dragging him away. Yuuji gives the old lady a confused look, to which she responds with "Young parents these days," shaking her head.

"You're going to take the fucking matching set, Sukuna, and you're going to like it," you seethe, still dragging him away (well, it's more like he's letting you drag him away). You hear how he's trying to talk behind your hand. "Don't piss me off. I'm going to pay less to get more, and you're going to listen to me. Go." You ignore him and he raises one eyebrow, looking you up and down, before biting your fingers. You yelp and let him go, scowling. "I said go! And act like you care about me when we get there, we're a family until the discount tells us so!"

"Okay, ma'am," he grins down to you, wiping his saliva from the corner of his mouth with a slow movement, his gaze lingering a bit too much on the way you're panting.

"Move! Take your size and let's go! Yuuji is waiting for us!" you push him, rushing back to the cashier.

"Oh, you were really fast. I thought you were going to argue with the way you rushed away," she says when she sees you come back, surprised. You nervously chuckle, telling her how you were already planning on buying one for Sukuna, you just forgot. "That would be 20.99$."

While you're swiping your card, you suddenly feel engulfed by heat. Sukuna positions his hands on your waist, giving you a half hug from behind while simultaneously giving his best confident grin to the old lady in front of him.

"Yeah. I just like when she bosses me around a bit, if you know what I mean," he says, sultry, winking at the cashier who is chuckling behind her hand, embarrassed, waving him away.

What the fuck? You initially try not to stiffen, then relax and give her a shy smile, and he squeezes you a bit closer. You melt on his chest, feeling hotter than you've felt all day. He's so comfortable. He brushes his lips near your ear and makes sure you hear the way his raspy voice is all around you. "And I do, baby. I really do."

[annievrse]

the sled problem

roronoa zoro x fem!reader —ᡣ𐭩 fic summary: thinking about alabasta where there's no room for matsuge to carry you, so zoro puts you on the sled with chopper (feat. a lot of reader x crew too!). w/c: 1.1k c/w: zoro refers to reader as 'my girl' & 'girlfriend', she/her pronouns, established relationship, reader is shorter than zoro. a/n: thanks everyone for voting! here is bf!zoro.

"My turn!" Luffy exclaims, feet dragging through the sand. You eye him wearily as it seems he used the last of his energy to make it known that he was to take your place on the sled. You wince when he stumbles, the last of the water hanging by a rope around his neck.

"No way, moron," Zoro grunts behind you. "My girl and Chopper only."

Next to Luffy, Usopp lets out a noise of disagreement, his body weight relying on the walking stick in his hand. "Surely she can walk— Ouch!"

Chopper's weak giggle cuts the thick air beside you, and you look to where the sharpshooter lays motionless in the orange sand. Glancing back, you see Zoro's fist lowering back to his side.

"Stop complaining," Nami says, adjusting the scarf on her head. "We'll be there soon."

"You're on the back of a camel," Usopp splutters as he gets to his feet. Matsuge grunts in dismissal, and Nami pretends not to hear her crewmate and turns to face the horizon.

"Let me on!" Luffy attempts to yell, staggering toward the swordsman. "C'mon, Chopper, you're an animal fit for the desert."

The reindeer shakes his head and clasps his arms around your bicep. "No way, you try having a fur coat in his heat."

Usopp giggles, though he eyes the waterskin that hangs against Luffy's chest instead of the medic. "I'll cut it off you if you'd like—"

A collective gasp sounds through the group; this time, you kick your leg out to trip him over, realising too late that he was speaking about the water and not Chopper.

Zoro chokes out a cackle at the thump of his crewmate against the sand. "Atta girl."

Usopp makes no move to get up. He lays there, delirious, until Sanji grips the back of his shirt and tugs him along. "Idiot."

The only sound is the wind and the crunch of shoes in the desert. Sighing, you start to feel bad for the others when you see them struggling to stay upright, so, you shuffle Chopper over so you can get up.

"'Ro," You say, turning to face his back. Zoro stops and looks at you with his brows furrowed. "Here, Luffy—"

The group groans as you stand, dusting the sand from your clothes.

Zoro shakes his head and scoffs. "I'm not pulling that moron. Sit back down."

With pleading eyes, you shove your captain toward the sled, carefully avoiding Chopper. "Just pull him; I'll walk with you for a while."

Zoro grumbles and suddenly jolts the sled, so Luffy slides off. "Oops."

"Please, Ro," You say, touching his forearm. "Just until I get tired."

"Yeah, just until she gets tired," Luffy mumbles, heaving himself onto the sled. "Which will be never."

Zoro glares at you, but the look is too familiar for you to take it harshly. Then, he starts walking again, purposefully making a face of discomfort.

"Thanks, baby," you smile, wiping the sweat from your forehead.

"Aw, baby, that's so cute," Usopp mumbles, his face just inches off the ground thanks to Sanji's grip. "Zoro, baby, my baby—"

Sanji rolls his eyes, drops him, and keeps walking. "Do you ever shut up?"

You glance back at him, but Zoro nudges you with his shoulder. "He'll catch up."

Sighing, you stop and walk back to Usopp. Zoro knows what you'll make him do, but god knows he’ll always do what you tell him.

You try your best to help the sniper to his feet, muttering that he won't have to walk anymore, giving Usopp the energy to run to the sled. So much for feeling bad for him...

"You need to learn to ignore them," Sanji says, plucking the cigarette between his lips. "Let the moss head drag you through the dunes. He clearly wants to."

You look back and slow down to match his steps, smiling at Sanji's attempt at being nice to your boyfriend. "It's the least I can do."

The cook begins to counter your lame argument but stops short when he sees Zoro waiting for you ahead: his captain, the sharpshooter, and the reindeer piled on the wooden sand sled.

"I'm doing all this for you, and you ditch me for the cook."

You can feel Sanji roll his eyes beside you. Laughing, you quicken your steps to catch up to the swordsman.

"Jealous?"

Zoro scoffs and readjusts his grip on the ropes. "Of him? I'd rather die."

There's a sigh behind you, and then Sanji speeds past you, hands clasped before him as he asks Nami if she needs anything.

Zoro knocks your shoulder with his bicep, bringing you back to the man beside you. He's a man of very few words, but you know what he's trying to say. Quit teasing me.

Rolling your eyes, you giggle. "Stop flirting, we're in the desert."

"Seriously?"

You shrug and glance at the boys on the sled, your sweet expression turning to irritation when you see them sitting cross-legged, whispering animatedly while Chopper lies half-delirious from heat stroke. “Seriously?”

“Yeah? I just asked that—“

You stop walking and hit an oblivious Luffy upside the head when he passes. Your captain tumbles onto the sand, Usopp following soon after with expletives falling from his lips.

Huffing, you reclaim your place next to Chopper. "Manipulative idiots."

“You got that right,” Chopper mumbles. You shake your head and watch as the pair stumble back to their feet and start complaining again.

"Why?" Usopp cries. "Zoro control your girlfriend; she's mean."

Zoro laughs deeply, like a warning. "Usopp, I swear to god, if I hear your voice one more time, I won't hesitate to kick your ass."

"Sorry," Usopp mumbles to you. "Sorry, Zoro."

"Damn right," your boyfriend states. "And Luffy?"

Your captain's head raises, face screwed in anticipation of what the swordsman had for him.

"Give her the water."

"But—"

"Now, moron!"

You go to counter Zoro's demand, insisting that it is fine, but Luffy hastily rips the rope from his neck and stretches his rubber arm to drop the waterskin in your lap.

"Thanks, Luffy."

His only response is a whiny grumble.

"Here, Chop," You unscrew the lid and push the bottle towards the reindeer. "Drink."

Chopper lifts his head weakly. "No, that's yours."

Rolling your eyes, you shove it further into his tiny chest. "Zoro won't curse you for drinking it, I promise."

Nodding, Chopper takes the waterskin between his hooves and sips.

"Hey, no fair! Why do she and the reindeer get water, and we don't?"

Zoro stops dead in his tracks and drops the rope to the sled. "Usopp."

A terrified scream echoes through the barren desert, and then Zoro rounds the sled and tackles the sharpshooter to the ground.

Nami groans from the front of the group. "Can't we have a normal trip for once?"

Vivi's soft voice follows. "Doesn't look like it."

"Please! Please, I'm sorry! Zoro, please! I'm not meant for combat!"

"Shut it, asshole," Zoro sighs. "You speak to my girl like that again? See what happens." 

[enhaeil]

UNDERNEATH THE TREE ! ✩ ₊˚ 엔하이픈

"i just wanna let him unwrap me like ooh

get on top of him by the fireplace ooh"

santa tell me (naughty ver) - ariana grande

christmas with enha ⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

c/w: suggestive in heeseungs, hoons, and jungwons, otherwise fluff.

heeseung ⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

you wait for your husband heeseung to return from work as you hang up some last minute xmas decorations. christmas was tomorrow, but you decided you wanted to get the party started tonight.

you stood in front of the tree in your skimpiest santa outfit and red heels to match as you wait for the doorknob to twist. after what feels like forever you finally hear some keys jingle.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" you yell as he barely has one foot in the door.

his once tired face was now wide awake looking at the love of his life all pretty for him. "baby, what's all this?" he says, his bambi eyes lighting up at the sight.

"since you've worked hard all week, i wanted to celebrate early." you say innocently, although you looked far from it. "don't you like it?"

"like it? i'm gonna get you pregnant."

jay ⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

you and jay decide to go out christmas eve night to celebrate the holidays. you guys spend the night downtown. he takes you to a fancy restaurant, a few stores and finally takes you to see the Christmas lights.

you guys both sit on a bench, snuggled against each other for warmth as y'all watch the the glowing lights.

"wow, jay. these are so beautiful." you say mesmerized.

"not as beautiful as you," he says with his usual smirk.

you hit him on the chest, bursting into laughter. 'thank you, jay, but that was so corny!" you giggle at him.

he pretends to be offended before laughing with you. "oh yeah? i can get cornier." he says, turning his whole body towards you and taking your hand in his.

"i have been in love with you since the day i met you. no matter how long we've been together, i could never get tired of seeing your face. hearing you laugh. even hearing you yell at me. these christmas lights are nowhere near enough to express my love for you." before you can get a word out, he's down on one knee.

"will you marry me?"

jake ⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

you and jake decided to bake cookies for the holiday, prancing around the kitchen to the old christmas music and exchanging loving looks occasionally.

jake decides to come by and boop frosting onto your nose. two can play at that game. you then wipe frosting onto his cheek. frosting on the cheek turns into cookie dough in hair, cookie dough turns into sprinkles on the floor, and that all turns into a full-on food fight.

you guys finally stop, catching your breath as you take in the mess you've made. you take a few moments to look at each other in disbelief.

"race you to the shower?"

sunghoon ⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

sunghoon has never been the most festive person, despite being called the "ice prince." however, he ended up dating a girl who gets down about holidays, especially christmas. you come out of the room with a reindeer antler headband on and your ugliest sweater.

"hoonie, why aren't you dressed for jakes party?" you say with a pout.

"i was just gonna stay here tonight, babe." he says casually.

"uh, no, you're gonna come to this party with me. you said you would!" you say walking up to him to grab his hand.

"y/n, i don't want to go, and that's final.

you roll your eyes stomp towards the door, grabbing your jacket. "fine. guess you won't be getting your gift tonight."

sunghoon's ears perk up. "gift?"

"oh, yeah. you didn't think i made a trip to Victoria's Secret for nothing, did you? but if you're not going—"

"i'll be ready in five."

sunoo ⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

you came home to sunoo decorating the living room, humming to the christmas tunes playing.

you sneak up behind him for a back hug and kiss his shoulder. "it looks so pretty in here, noo!" you say rubbing his back.

"thank you, i tried my best! i even decorated our room. you should go look!!" he says, smiling back at you as he hangs his last ornament.

you nod and make your way upstairs, excited to see what your loving boyfriend did with the room.

you walk in and it almost looks like a winter wonderland. it was going to be hell to take down but you're greatful nonetheless.

you continue to walk around the room until you spot something in the corner of your eye.

"sunoo.." you call for him from upstairs.

"yes my love?"

"why is there a mistletoe above our bed ?"

jungwon ⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

as jungwon kissed you goodbye before he left for practice, you got a brilliant idea. he always talks about how he "doesn't need any gifts because you're enough." so how about you put that theory to the test?

that evening, you open your closet to find the leftover wrapping paper you had and began to strip. you make a wrapping paper dress around yourself and even wrap yourself some heels, too.

you lay yourself underneath the tree and wait for him to return.

he finally comes home and immediately bursts into laughter. you give him a puzzled look before he finally catches his breath.

"b-baby" wheeze "what're you doing down there?"

you stand up, dusting yourself off. "i was trying to suprise you. i'm your present!" you say with a small pout. all he does is burst into another fit of giggles.

"jungwon!! your girlfriend is standing in the middle of the living room wearing nothing but wrapping paper, and all you can do is laugh?" you say getting annoyed.

he continues to laugh as he steps closer, holding your waist.

"just laughing, baby? i'm turned on."

niki ⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

niki is mad as hell. why ? his lovely girlfriend made him wrap himself in wrapping paper and even added pretty 'princess' bows on him.

"y/n, can i take this off now?" he says with pleading eyes

"NO!" you tell at him as if a mom was scolding her child. "let me take some pictures first!"

he stomps the ground and rolls his eyes like a kid before he stares at the camera.

"smile like you love your life."

"baby i don't wanna do th-"

"SMILE!"

a/n: this is cute but its doodoo

[astonmartinii]

a very mamma mia christmas [mamma mia part six] | formula one social media au

drivers: sebastian vettel, fernando alonso and jenson button

flo's first christmas looms, her parents and the grid react accordingly

mamma mia / no more ace to play / honey, honey / the age of no regret / a wonderful thing

MASTERLIST | BUY ME A KO-FI?

yourusername

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, sebastianvettel and 1,667,301 others

yourusername: if you couldn't tell, christmas is our favourite holiday

view all comments

user1: i forgot to consider the thought of a mamma mia christmas

user2: i am NOT ready

jensonbutton: are we just photographers to you?

yourusername: i tried to take photos of you guys but you just insisted on throwing each other into the snow every two seconds

jensonbutton: but i won?

sebastianvettel: i reject this

fernandoalo_oficial: AS IF YOU WON

user3: i think this is the proof that fernando will never retire

jensonbutton: @yourusername tell them i won

yourusername: well i can tell you who lost ... ME BECAUSE YOU GUYS WRESTLED IN THE SNOW AND COMPLAINED ABOUT BEING COLD THE WHOLE WAY HOME

sebastianvettel: ... at least flo found it funny

yourusername: she's a baby, she finds everything funny

fernandoalo_oficial: especially me though

yourusername: ENOUGH you're all getting coal for christmas

jensonbutton: WHAT

fernandoalo_oficial: WHAT

sebastianvettel: WHAT

user4: y/n actually has the patience of a saint i'd leave them in the snow

yourusername: can't drive 💔

user5: dads are all world champion drivers and mum hasn't even passed her test. this is what balance is

alexalbon: tHAT'S THE BUNNY I GOT FLO

yourusername: yes, she loves it very much (she even named it al)

lilymunhe: he's crying 👍

alexalbon: it's christmas and i'm trying not to succumb to baby fever :(

jensonbutton

liked by yourusername, sebastianvettel and 1,002,566 others

tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, sebastianvettel & yourusername

jensonbutton: drawing straws to see who gets to be santa for flo's first christmas (and who has to be elves)

view all comments

user9: is everything a tussle with these people

yourusername: yes. this one is particularly amusing though

sebastianvettel: YOU RIGGED THE DRAW

jensonbutton: how could i rig it? I DIDN'T EVEN WIN

sebastianvettel: i'm not going as an elf ABSOLUTELY NOT

fernandoalo_oficial: you snooze you lose buddy

yourusername: not to stir the pot, but this was you guys' idea, so you can't chicken out now

sebastianvettel: no elf. i am going to be a reindeer instead

jensonbutton: if he's not being an elf then i'm not being an elf i'm going to be an angel 👍

yourusername: we already ordered the elf costumes ???

fernandoalo_oficial: make the grid kids dress up

yourusername: @charles_leclerc and @maxverstappen1 do i have news for you

charles_leclerc: if anyone should be an angel it should be ME

maxverstappen1: i should be the christmas star (since i am the star of this family)

charles_leclerc: if any of us have star power it's ME

yourusername: you won't even be elves for flo?

charles_leclerc: YES I WILL

maxverstappen1: DON'T BE STUPID

user10: yeah, yeah they're all dressing up BUT the real question is, do they now have cats as well?

fernandoalo_oficial: YES!! 😃 😃😃😃😃

user11: NEW MAMMA MIA LORE

jensonbutton: we were in the village centre when they were having an adoption fair... fernando insisted that cream cheese and salmon come home with us

user12: i feel like jenson did not get to choose the names ...

yourusername: nando insisted, said bagels are the foundation of our relationship

fernandoalo_oficial

liked by jensonbutton, sebastianvettel and 1,342,882 others

tagged: yourusername, jensonbutton & sebastianvettel

fernandoalo_oficial: i won !!! (both being santa and the gingerbread house decorating contest)

view all comments

user13: mamma mia household argument incoming....

yourusername: okay... WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WON THE CONTEST I CLEARLY WON I WILL NOT LET YOU CONTROL THIS NARRATIVE

user14: oh this is about to get real if y/n is getting involved in the arguments

sebastianvettel: nando, your house had the structural integrity of a flake

fernandoalo_oficial: IT DOES NOT

jensonbutton: i mean when we let flo destroy them all like a mini godzilla, yours did crumble first

fernandoalo_oficial: FAKE NEWS

yourusername: godzilla flo squished that bitch like a pancake

sebastianvettel: you can't win everything old man

yourusername: HALT WE SHALL NOT START THIS ARGUMENT AGAIN

user15: boooooooo let them fight y/n

user16: the way y/n and flo probably just sit back and relax while these idiots argue with each other

georgerussell63: gingerbread flo is so adorable !!

yourusername: thank you georgie (these guys think they're professional photographers now)

danielricciardo: woah @landonorris sub par f1 driver photography is our thing

landonorris: honestly old men, get your own hobby

fernandoalo_oficial: SUB PAR?

yourusername: he's pacing @landonorris @danielricciardo TAKE IT BACK

landonorris: no. i don't think i will

sebastianvettel: he's literally wearing a hole in my carpet from pacing MY CARPET

danielricciardo: tell him to stop being so dramatic flo looks rad af

jensonbutton: did you just call our baby rad?

fernandoalo_oficial: i'll take it, she is rad :)

user17: this is so close to my heart. if they ever stop publicising their lil spats i will die

user18: i wake up in a cold sweat thinking about how we won't hear about nando leaving cutlery in the sink, jenson letting beckett in the bed and seb forcing them all to garden

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, sebastianvettel and 1,723,094 others

tagged: jensonbutton, fernandoalo_oficial & sebastianvettel

yourusername: seb cried when we chopped down the tree :(

view all comments

user21: someone get that man back in a car he's losing his damn mind

jensonbutton: he cried because i was just too sexy to handle when i chopped down a tree with an axe and my bare hands

yourusername: he's NOT wrong

fernandoalo_oficial: i understand the women in hallmark films now. lumberjacks are hot

jensonbutton: or it's just me?

yourusername: welp

user22: sorry seb but fuck that tree's life it looks so fucking good

user23: i'm so glad y/n isn't a sad beige mum

yourusername: tacky christmas 4 eva

lewishamilton: now that is a christmas tree wowza

yourusername: oh wow that means a lot coming from you

lewishamilton: i'm going to assume the guys weren't allowed within 10ft

yourusername: they were allowed to put the star on and pick where the homemade ornaments would go

lewishamilton: having seen their dress sense for the last 15 years, i think that was wise

user24: is seb like holding a grudge?

sebastianvettel: YES they laughed at me :(

yourusername: awwwww you baby, you're so cute

sebastianvettel: what if we've made a squirrel or a bird homeless :(

fernandoalo_oficial: there's a fuck ton of trees around i'm sure they're fine

jensonbutton: or maybe we hit them with our car on the way home

sebastianvettel: JENSE :(((((((

fernandoalo_oficial: i thought i felt a bump

yourusername: GUYS

user25: all i know is that i would not want to get into a fight with flo with these fools as her parents

sebastianvettel

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, jensonbutton and 1,288,493 others

tagged: yourusername, mickschumacher

sebastianvettel: you all laughed at the tree. jokes on you me and mick went and got a foster reindeer

view all comments

user26: no ever is ever as petty as a middle-aged man

fernandoalo_oficial: THAT'S WHAT THAT SOUND WAS

jensonbutton: DO WE LOOK LIKE A ZOO?

sebastianvettel: yes.

fernandoalo_oficial: i'm sorry but @mickschumacher this is why you weren't godfather

mickschumacher: NANDO

maxverstappen1: let me grab my popcorn

jensonbutton: mick we already have a dog and two cats and you let this menace get a REINDEER

sebastianvettel: he's a foster? don't talk to walter like he's not there

fernandoalo_oficial: mick you told me you were going for afternoon tea ?? i am so disappointed

mickschumacher: boo hoo old man this is why you lost 2010

yourusername: MICK?

user27: this man is well and truly off his rocker

yourusername: how long is walter here for?

sebastianvettel: he's got a bad foot :( but the sanctuary said he's great with kids 👍

yourusername: how would they possibly know that

fernandoalo_oficial: flo is not hanging out with a reindeer

sebastianvettel: not even a safe distance? :(

jensonbutton: from the window... STOP BRINGING WILDLIFE HOME

sebastianvettel: oh so fernando can bring home two surprise cats but i can't

yourusername: there is a wee difference between a cat and a REINDEER

charles_leclerc: does this mean when walter is better we can go for reindeer rides?

alexalbon: finally someone asking the real questions

yourusername: at this point you'll being coming to the north pole might as well throw in a reindeer ride as well

maxverstappen1: FUCK YES

jensonbutton

liked by yourusername, sebastianvettel and 1,008,653 others

jensonbutton: last time i was aware we only have one child ...

view all comments

user29: ELF MAX ELF MAX ELF MAX

user30: mia eating everyone up as usual

charles_leclerc: this is charles leclerc erasure of the highest order @sebastianvettel DO SOMETHING

jensonbutton: did you or did you not state: my ass looks too good in these tights, this can't go on the internet without a paywall?

charles_leclerc: i may have said that yes

jensonbutton: you are such a drama queen charlie

charles_leclerc: but we took other photos :(

jensonbutton: not everything has to be on instagram, that's what a mantlepiece is for

charles_leclerc: I'M GOING ON THE MANTLEPIECE ???????

jensonbutton: not if you keep being rude to me

charles_leclerc: sorry jenson :((((

jensonbutton: play piano for mia every night you're here and you're good

charles_leclerc: as if that's punishment

user31: charlie playing piano for flo is my favourite thing ever

yourusername: if we only have one baby, why do they all act like one?

fernandoalo_oficial: you insist on having all the grid kids over

yourusername: sue me i love them and i love how much they love flo

sebastianvettel: will you be saying that when we have to make breakfast for nearly 20 overgrown children

yourusername: DON'T LISTEN TO THEM BABIES HE CRIED WHEN HE READ YOUR GOODBYE MESSAGES

maxverstappen1: I KNEW I T

landonorris: me and mia really twinning here

yourusername: she really turned up, ate, got all the love and went back to sleep what a queen

danielricciardo: soz fernando i did santa better

fernandoalo_oficial: flo cried when you held her. so take that for what you will

danielricciardo: cried... from excitement

yourusername: she threw up on you

danielricciardo: FROM EXCITEMENT

sebastianvettel: you also cried?

danielricciardo: FROM EXCITEMENT?

yourusername

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, maxverstappen1 and 1,934,788 others

yourusername: baby's first christmas xx

view all comments

user37: it's florence's world and we're just living in it

maxverstappen1: mamma mia christmasses might just be where it's at, love you guys and mia xx

yourusername: awww maxy, we love you !! thank you for coming

maxverstappen1: the christmas dinner banged and i got to hang out with mia YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME

fernandoalo_oficial: i love this family :)

jensonbutton: he's crying, i can hear it from the kitchen - i love you all too

sebastianvettel: i think the holidays have turned my heart to a puddle can we kick these people out and have a cuddle pile?

yourusername: i love you all more (definitely)

fernandoalo_oficial: thank you guys for giving me flo, the biggest gift in the world

yourusername: wouldn't change it for the world

sebastianvettel: i love our little chaos

jensonbutton: the best christmas ever

user38: okay but next year can y/n remember she has a youtube channel and do vlogmas ....

user39: NEEDED

charles_leclerc: "kick these people out" i'd like to see you try

maxverstappen1: you're never getting rid of us

yourusername: well charles you've kind of conditioned flo to only fall asleep to piano so i'm afraid you can't leave

maxverstappen1: don't tell jimmy and sassy but i fear i have an emotional attachment to walter

fernandoalo_oficial: oh boy you've condemned yourself there

sebastianvettel: set your alarm max, we're on walter duty tomorrow

maxverstappen1: yay?

yourusername: flo and i will make sure there's a hot choccy when you get back

jensonbutton: i for one am proud of beckett for not dive bombing the christmas tree

yourusername: and he only chased cream cheese and salmon once and we can blame that on daniel

danielricciardo: FALSEHOODS

jensonbutton: did you not challenge the dog to a race that led straight to the cat tree?

danielricciardo: maybe? IT WASN'T MY INTENTION

note: ehehehehehehehehehehe feeling in a giving mood and finished this a lot quicker than expected. i FUCKING LOVE CHRISTMAS AND I FUCKING LOVE MAMMA MIA. i hope you guys enjoy, i am working on your requests.

mamma mia will return

taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora @faithm120601 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @luv4kani @eugene-emt-roe @magical-spit @ironmaiden1313 @jaydaaasworld @whoreks @rainerax @nonsensical-nonsence @laneyspaulding19 @chelseyyouraverageluigi @lxclerc @gemofthenight @woweewoowa @tagteamedbitch@imagandom@mypage-myfandoms@mehrmonga@asparklysoul @unstableplant @motorsp0rt@multilovebot@lili-flower03 @its-elias-world @jolixtreesunn@nothingfuninthislife@rileynicol3@kodzuvk@mochimommy2002@fluffyspaceprincess@roseseraj@black-swan-blog27@nyrasslut@justdreamersdream@asfaraslifegets@why4anne@ineffableperson@leilanixx@lunyyx @pupbistro @gaypoetsblog@rafaaoli@champomiel@sadsierra2 @rainerax @lokietro @thecubanator2 @nzygftoji @rockyhayzkid @nmw-am @slytherheign @erikasurfer @turn-around-look-at-what-you-see @greigreyhiyyih @duck-duck-goose-18 @dark-night-sky-99 @ironcowboycopnickel @sizzlingghostoperatorbagel @2bormaybenot @42ndbrokencompass @whotfisvale @lichterfee @sticksdoesart @glitterf1 @turn-around-look-at-what-you-see @lighttsoutlewis @tagteamedbitch @glow-ish @sadg3 @kagatinkita @litoriaxu

[hannahbarberra162]

Clogged Duck (Milking Hours with Luffy)

TW: lactation, breast worship, smut, fluff :)

OS, Luffy x Reader, ~2.7k wc

Inspired by @otkuhotgirl ‘s Kinktober Day 1 piece. I’ve been thinking about it since I read it, this idea bouncing around my head like a windows screensaver.

You’d never really thought about lactation despite having tits for your whole adult life. Until now. You’d been hit in a fight with the Stork Captain and the lingering consequences were still with you. Your tits had been leaking milk for three days and Chopper said it would be a few more weeks until it stopped. The problem was you had to express the milk otherwise your boobs were painful and tight. You did it by hand in the shower but the process was long and tedious. And now, by some goddamn stroke of bad luck, you had a clogged milk duct. You didn’t even know it was a thing until a day ago but now the red, tender, painful area of your boob was all you could think about.

“Ugh, so what do I do, Chopper?” you asked the little reindeer. You were sitting on the bed in the infirmary as Chopper examined your boob. He was maintaining his professionalism quite well despite the fact that you’d leaked a little milk on his hoof. Sanji was passed out in the next room from nosebleed related blood loss.

“Well, it needs to be unclogged or it can turn into mastitis, which is a serious condition. So you’ll either need to hand express and massage the area until it clears or it can be helped by sucking out the clog,” the doctor explained.

“Sucking? Like -”

“Yes, someone could pull on your teat with their mouth -”

“Don’t call it a teat, that’s weird,” you said with a frown.

“I’ll do it,” Luffy said, standing in the doorway. You blinked - the door had definitely been shut a moment ago. You flushed crimson as you hurriedly covered your tits back up from your Captain. You’d always had a little thing for him but a clogged milk duct was not the way you imagined him seeing your tits for the first time.

“Uh. L-luffy, I don’t think you understand -” you started before Luffy interrupted.

“I do. You’re making milk and need it out of your boobs or you’ll get sicker. I like milk, so I’ll do it,” he stated with a tilt of his head. His unblinking eyes had you in their sights as if you were the weird one for not wanting your Captain to suckle on your tits.

“It’s just that - um - it’s a little...intimate, don’t you think? Also, it’s human milk not cow milk -”

‘It’s weird that humans drink milk meant for baby cows,” interrupted Chopper. You sighed, you didn’t want to have this discussion right now.

“That’s true, it makes more sense for me to drink human milk,” agreed Luffy, his fingers tapping his chin. “So let’s get to it! I’m thirsty,” Luffy whined, sitting down next to you on the infirmary bed. 

“Ok, I’ll give you some privacy. Let me know if Luffy can’t get the clog out, we’ll have to think of something else,” Chopper agreed, making notes on his clipboard.

“N-no, Chopper, I don’t know - I -” you tried to stop the little reindeer from leaving you with the Captain but he was already gone.

“So how should we do this, hm? Side by side wouldn’t be comfortable for me…I know! Come sit on my lap,” Luffy said, already moving you with his arms to face him as he positioned you on his lap. 

“Wha- Luffy! Wait,” you said, pulling on his shirt. Luffy looked at you with a little smile. The bed in the infirmary was small, not meant for two people but you had room to sit on Luffy’s lap. You were facing the Captain, your tits nearly at mouth level, your shins resting on the bed while you straddled him.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, holding the hem of your shirt in his hands.

“Y-yeah, of course I do,” you said, putting your hands on his shoulders. In truth, you’d imagined Luffy sucking on your tits - and much more - many times. Your crush on the Captain had started the first time you met him, his silly and adventurous nature capturing your heart from the moment you saw his radiant smile. You hadn’t ever planned to actually act on it, it was a bad idea for crew members to mess around. You’d been on ships where the dynamics were off after a bad breakup or two and it wasn’t worth it.

“I’m gonna make you feel better. If you don’t like it, I’ll stop,” Luffy said with a smile. You were disarmed by his genuine offer and frankly, you needed the pain to stop.

“Alright, Luffy. Can you shut the door? And just - they kinda hurt so be gentle,” you said, letting him pull your shirt over your head. It was dirty from the milk that had leaked out of your tits already. He used a rubber arm to shut the door from across the room and nodded solemnly as you unhooked your bra in the back and pulled it off your arms. You were now topless in front of your crush and you couldn’t look away as he studied your boobs. His eyes were wide and round, like you had a treasure chest filled with jewels.

“So big,” Luffy said in awe, putting his hands on the undersides of your breasts and lifting them up. “Filled with milk for me,” he said, kissing the top of one of your boobs. It already felt better to have the Captain’s strong, calloused hands holding them up and relieving your back from the pain of heaving them around.

“Hah, y-yeah. So to drink you’d need to -”

“I know what to do,” Luffy said, not taking his eyes off your tits. “It’s this one, right?” he said, kissing your left breast. You nodded trying not to moan as he began kneading your breasts. Without warning he popped your nipple in his mouth and sucked hard. You could feel the milk being drained out and you felt immediate relief. You ran your hands through Luffy’s short, thick hair, moaning as he sucked and licked your breast. Looking down, you saw the evidence of his efforts dripping down his chin.

“I - aah - um, is it ok? Do you want to stop?” you said with a heaving breath, hoping he didn’t. You’d always liked nipple play and now it felt even better as it alleviated your pain. You didn’t think Luffy meant anything romantic or sexual with this, but your body didn’t know that as you felt your panties getting wetter and wetter. Luffy let go of your nipple with a pop, picked up his head and gave you a smile. His hands remained on your breasts, massaging them and rubbing your nipples gently with his thumbs.

“ ‘S great! Oh, no! I’ll help you too, don’t cry, I don’t like cry babies,” Luffy said as he noticed your other breast was now leaking milk. He moved his mouth over to your right nipple and began pulling on the other side. You moaned out loud, you didn’t think you could do this again with the Captain. He kissed his way from the underside of your breasts all the way back to your nipples all while his hands toyed with your breasts.

“L-luffy, you don’t n-need to do thaaaaaa -” your protest trailed off as Luffy gently bit your right nipple while tweaking the other.

“Wanna,” was all he answered before resuming flicking his tongue over your tight bud. He took one of his hands and splayed it over your upper back, keeping you in place to devour further. Luffy massaged the side of your left breast, switching back to your affected nipple. Your breathing picked up as he sucked harder than before, trying to work out the clog.

“Y’wanna move on me?” Luffy asked, while keeping your nipple in his mouth. 

“Huh?” you asked, mind confused what he was asking you.

“You’re rubbing yourself on me. You can sit on me if ya want,” he said with no shame. You looked down to see your hips grinding against his own without your knowledge, moving on Luffy’s impressive cock. Your face flamed but…you were already this far with the Captain…

“Luffy, that’s sex,” you said quietly. You’d never seen Luffy expressing romantic or sexual interest so you wanted to be sure that he understood what he was offering you.

“So let’s have sex then,” Luffy said off handedly, picking his face up from your boobs and looking you in the eyes. He continued to keep your breasts in his hands, squishing and massaging them like they were stress balls.

“Are you sure? It doesn’t have to be part of -”

“I’ve thought about it before. Having sex with you. I wanna if you wanna,” Luffy said with his characteristic smile. That damn smile got you every time. 

“Alright, I - I’ve thought about it before too. Having sex with you, I mean,” you said, your face burning with embarrassment. You loved how honest and sincere the Captain always was but it was difficult to reciprocate his openness. You had been going through a dry spell and hadn’t had a partner in a while - ever since the Captain had caught your eye and your heart.

“Take off your pants and underpants,” Luffy commanded, laying you down on the infirmary bed. He loomed over you but gave you space to do as he asked while taking off his own. You’d never seen Luffy’s cock before, it was larger than you had anticipated as it sprang out from his pants. The thick, veiny shaft ended with a beautiful mushroomed top, complete with a pearl of precome. You were having cold feet now that you saw how big he was, but that one drop was making your mouth water. To your surprise, he ran a finger down your stomach, making you giggle.

“Your skin’s so soft,” he said with wonder in his voice. Suddenly, he was on his knees, pulling you onto your upper back to look at your pussy in the air, spreading your legs over his biceps.

“L-lu, I thought we were -

“I wanna see it first. I wanna see if it’s as juicy as I imagined. Ooh, lookit that,” he said, running his fingers through your wet folds, ending by rubbing your clit for a moment. You shivered as Luffy studied you with curious eyes. He repeated his movement, which made you repeat yours. This time he used his index finger to rub only on your clit, changing his movements when you made different noises. He tried tapping, stroking, and even pinching your clit before he settled on rubbing your clit with two fingers in tight circles - which made your legs shake over his arms. You weren’t sure if this was Luffy’s first time with a partner but his intuition was as good in bed as on the battlefield. 

“Aah, Luf- Luffy, if you keep doing that, hah hah I’m g-gonna come soon,” you stammered as you watched him focusing on your quivering pussy.

“ ‘S for me, right?” he asked, his other hand gripping your ass to keep you in place.

“Y-yeah, for you, L-lu,” you replied, closing your eyes tight.

“No, look at me, I wanna see you,” Luffy said softly. Your eyes snapped to his as he let go of your ass and put a finger inside your hole.

“ ‘S tight in there,” he said, pushing his finger in and out. “Could use a friend though,” he said thoughtfully, adding a second finger. Now you couldn’t contain your mewls as he worked your body better than you could, pumping his fingers like a makeshift cock.

“I’m uhng I’m c-close -” you said, gripping his thighs for support.

“So go,” Luffy said quietly, pushing down on your g-spot. The tight coil inside you snapped as you came undone. You tried to keep quiet but you couldn’t help but cry out his name as he brought you to climax. Luffy kept going as you shook under his care, wrenching every last moment of pleasure out of you before setting your ass back on the bed. You were trying to catch your breath as you watched Luffy put his fingers in his mouth, sucking your juices off the digits.

“ ‘S as good on bottom as on top,” he declared, nodding his head. He leaned over you, planting his thighs between your own for missionary position. Luffy lined himself up to enter you but not before kissing you on the forehead.

“I gotta get back to your boobs, make you feel better,” he said, like he was undertaking a mission. He entered you in one stroke, making your back arch off the bed.

“Aah Luffy! G-gimme time to adjust!” you cried out, gripping his arms. Luffy stilled above you, no small feat for a man who couldn’t sit still for a single moment. He dropped to his knees between your own, dipping his head down to your breasts. Still inside you, he resumed sucking on your tits, making you grind up against him.

“O-oh ok, you can move, Lu,” you suggested, seeking more friction than what you were getting. When you imagined sex with Luffy, you thought his normal actions would translate to the bedroom - all silliness and fast movements. But Luffy surprised you, taking you in long languid strokes as he sucked on your sensitive and sore nipples. You raised your legs up and around his waist, crossing them behind his back. Luffy set a slow but compounding rhythm with his hips, bouncing your boobs with every thrust he made in you.

“Mmmh I gotta nnh help your boobs,” Luffy gritted out while pumping into you. He was so focused on the task at hand, he wasn’t chasing his own pleasure, just making sure you met yours. He nipped and sucked on your nipple, leaving no part of your breast untouched or unloved. You kept one hand tangled in his hair, pulling him ever closer to your chest. He kissed his way through the valley between your breasts, making his way to the other, only to resume suckling and gently biting. He was driving you crazy, your over sensitive and tender breasts aching now from the attention he was giving you and not from pain. Luffy took your free hand and entangled his fingers with your own, pinning it above your head.

“Almost t-there,” Luffy grunted, putting his forehead against yours. 

“So go,” you said, repeating his words back to him. Luffy picked up speed and the sounds of his thighs slapping against yours filled the infirmary room. His thrusts became more erratic as a few soft moans spilled from his lips. At the last moment before he came, he leaned closer and kissed you on the lips before spilling inside you. It wasn’t a deep kiss, it was shy and sweet but it made your heart soar. 

“Hah hah is the clogged duck gone?” Luffy asked, breathing hard while pulling out and laying down next to you on the bed. The twin sized bed was hardly large enough for two but side by side you could just fit, one of his legs dangling off the side.

“Duct. Yeah. Think so,” you replied, your fingers still entwined with his. You relished the body heat radiating from your Captain and turned to lay your head on his chest.

“I wan’ ‘em to get clogged again,” he said with a smile, putting his free hand behind his head. You picked your head up off his chest to protest.

“Well I don’t! It hurt. Besides, we could always do this…without a clogged duct?” you said, trying not to project any of your feelings. You didn’t know how Luffy felt and didn’t want to assume or make anything awkward.

“‘Sa good idea. I liked eating below too, shishishishi,” Luffy giggled, making you laugh too. 

~~~

“Luffy! You can’t just grab them in public!” you hissed, trying to pry Luffy’s hands off your tits and his fingers off your nipples discreetly.

“ ‘S not public, ‘s my ship. Besides, I’m thirsty and they’re full, I can feel it,” Luffy pouted, still groping your chest under your shirt. His fingers were pinching your nipples, making your shirt wet.

“That’s not the point! What if - HEY!” you yelled as rubbery arms encircled you like rope and carried you off to the Captain’s quarters. The other Strawhats had the decency to pretend they didn’t see anything, except for Sanji who was crying while cooking lunch.

~~~

[fushiguruuzzzz]

ALL I WANT 4 CHRISTMAS .ᐟ

What are the jjk & aot boys doing this Christmas season?

Somehow, mistletoe is left in his wake like a trail of breadcrumbs. Nobody knows exactly how he acquired all of this, but as he continues to swerve the advances of anyone else he meets under the green and red decoration, his intent grows more clear. There's also a mysterious bundle of it in his pocket, which he explains as his "just in case" backup. Before you knew it he was taking you by the hand and leading you through the house, much less subtle at scanning the doorways above than he thinks. At first you're oblivious, wondering if someone had spiked his eggnog or something of the sort, but no. When he halts abruptly and you follow his gaze upwards, every oddity of his behaviour makes much more sense.

"Would you look at that? Mistletoe. Wonder how that got there."

You can still feel his proud grin against your lips, even after he kisses you.

⤷ Satoru, Jean

He’s lounging on the sidelines, eyeing you over the rim of his mug as you enjoy the winter day, unaware of his lingering eyes. The hot chocolate sears his tongue, but he can't find it in himself to react. How could he care, when you're laughing across the room? What was so funny? What was so special about those people that prevented you from talking to him? He's got plenty of other people gabbing in his ear, they always end up flocking to him, as odd as it seems. He only feigns interest in their words, but if it were you, he'd hold on to every syllable like they were life's greatest treasure. he'd take note of every shift, of every breath you took. But for now you were across the room and all he could do was stare, frozen in place.

⤷ Suguru, Eren, Toji

Ah, yes. The personification of Christmas, your very own worker elf at your side. Clad in a ridiculously festive sweater and some reindeer antlers, Santa Claus might as well have thrown up on him. You're sure that if it weren't for you, he'd be wrapped in Christmas lights and singing carols on doorsteps. "It's holiday spirit! Don't you like Christmas?" he'd say. He makes you out to be some sort of grump, but you know deep down that he's just a total dork.

⤷ Toge, Yuji, Connie

Your boy isn't one for grand gestures, he never has been. Even around the holiday season, his love is quiet; soft. His chunky sweater wrapped around your shoulders, a steaming mug in your hands because he noticed you were chilly. A batch of sugar cookies made just for you, icing of your favourite colour decorating the tops. A pretty little box with a ribbon tied into a bow (or at least it was supposed to be) atop it, even though you made him promise not to go out of his way more than he already has. He just can't help himself. A photo snapped of you when you're looking particularly docile, just for safe keeping. He looks at his little album of you when you're apart, but he doesn't tell you that part. His affection is a collection of small sweetness, like a box of trinkets filled with the little things you hold dearest to your heart.

⤷ Yuta, Armin

He’s doing all of the sappiest things without even realizing it. Who would expect this big, beefy oaf of a man to be so whipped? “Yeah, those decorations are really pretty. I’d rather look at you, though.” “Sorry for staring, baby. You just look so pretty. If you were the only present under the tree I wouldn’t mind.” He’s buying you reindeer plushies just because they’re cute, and when he gives them to you his eyes shine with something so sweet it’s hard to believe it’s him. So you take them, you accept all of it, every little thing teetering on the fence of cute and corny, because maybe that’s what love does to you.

⤷ Reiner, Choso

You know how I said Toge, Connie, and Yuji are the personification of Christmas? Yeah, he’s the grinch. No, he doesn’t need another candy cane. No, please don’t turn up the radio, if he hears another Mariah Carey song he might implode. It would be easier to hide his disdain if you weren’t so adamant, so pushy for him to “get in the spirits.” Get that damn hat away from him, he tells you he won’t allow himself to be subjected to your childish antics. But when the festive shine in your eyes dulls ever so slightly, when you retreat with a defeated huff, he doesn’t know what changes. He doesn’t understand why, but he knows he doesn’t like it. So he tugs you back with an annoyed huff, grumbling under his breath as he falls victim to your will. He always ends up doing that, somehow. Always ends up at your mercy, even though if it were anyone else he’d have blocked them out long ago.

⤷ Megumi, Levi, Sukuna

He seems like something straight out of a hallmark movie. Okay, maybe he isn’t as cheerful as your picture perfect husband, waltzing around like Buddy the Elf. Maybe he’s got that passive expression on his face, the one that’s just barely grown easier to read over the years you’ve grown to know him. But he’s cooking you meals and massaging your back, he’s sliding you his card over the kitchen counter before he leaves for work and telling you to do something nice for yourself. He doesn’t care, as long as he gets to see the results; see how happy they make you. He trusts you, he trusts that you’re just as his as he is yours, and that means all of his work benefits him just as much as you. Because he gets to see your face light up, see the subtle curl of your lips with every act of service, and knowing he’s the only one is well enough for him.

⤷ Kento, Erwin

a/n — I wrote this randomly at 4am because one of my mutuals asked if I was doing a Christmas special. Yes apparently I am. Also Gojo fit a few of these but I decided on that one :3 I was thinking about doing more fandoms but I’m not 100% confident in my characterizations for hq, hxh (been a HOT minute since I’ve watched), etc. so aot and jjk it is <3 most people are only here for jjk anyway so

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One TwentySix

Eddie climbs into the beemer, looking as hang dog as Steve has ever seen him, “what’s wrong?”

Eddie fiddles with his sweater cuffs, plucking at them with his finger nails, frowning, “we...speak English?”

“Yeah, that’s right. That’s what the language is called, English.”

“And...many more? Languages? Lots and lots, right?”

“Yeah baby, that’s right, what’s wrong?” Steve grows increasingly more alarmed, Eddie actually looks like he might cry.

“I have to learn more? Learn all?”

“Oh! Oh no, not if you don’t want to. You could learn another one one day, but only if you want to.”

“Sure? Do you promise?”

“Yeah. Yes, baby, I promise. Just this one.”

Eddie sags in his seat, whole body crumpling with relief. Steve can’t help but laugh, but he does give Eddie’s hand a comforting squeeze.

Eddie gets into the beemer holding one massive fucking sunflower. Like, the head of the thing is just. Huge.

“Too big. Too different,” Eddie elaborates, “can’t sell it.”

“Well, that’s okay, it’ll fit in perfect on the coffee table,” Eddie nods affably at Steve’s suggestion.

“Stevie?” Steve hums to show he’s listening, checking his mirrors as he pulls out of the car parking space. “Should we go to church?”

“Church?”

“Mrs. Vanderbilt,” Eddie sounds the name carefully, “say she’s worried about my immortal soul.”

“Does she now. And who is Mrs. Vanderbilt?”

“She makes flower arrangements for church. Stevie? What’s an immortal soul?”

Steve snorts a laugh, “well. Uhm. So there’s...some people believe that there’s God, and heaven and hell and stuff like that. And there’s loads of religions, like with languages, lots of places have different ones and...God is kind of like...do you remember El explaining about Santa at Christmas?”

“Yes. He has a beard and reindeer and choose if you’re good, then gifts. Not real though, fun for kids believe.”

“Yeah. Yeah God is like that, but for grown-ups. And instead of gifts you get into heaven when you die.” Steve sees Eddie’s face crinkle up in his peripheral vision, “actually, you know what, I bet there’s a book about this, library detour?”

Eddie nods, humming agreeably.

The book on religions they find at the library is probably, now, a little below Eddie’s reading level, but it seemed like the best option at the time. When Eddie looks up from it and asks, “think The Upside Down is hell?” Steve sort of regrets the idea of a book.

“No. No I don’t.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah. Hell's probably more like, fire. And brimstone. And I never once saw a little demon with a pitchfork. Also, and I know this for absolute certain, there’s no way someone as good as you comes from Hell.”

“Oh.”

“I think...it’s up to you want you want to decide baby, you read as much as you like, and you think about it, but I think it’s made up, like a-” Steve hesitates over actually saying 'fairy tale', since he’s talking to a guy who, literally, is like a character from one of those stories, “like something that’s made up," He finishes lamely. "Anyway, forget the book, come up here, I haven’t won the kissing game for a couple of days and I’m feeling lucky.”

Eddie leaves the book, forgotten for a while, and Steve decides the first chance he gets he’s taking that one back.

“Stevie!” Eddie bursts through the door of family video, luckily it’s the middle of the day and the place is dead. He breezes straight past Steve and presents four pink roses to Robin, “from Chrissy,” he tells her, causing a spectacular blush to form on Robins cheeks before she sinks down behind the counter.

Eddie completely ignores her. “Knock knock.”

“Who's there?” Steve asks reflexively.

“Eddie with some flowers,” Eddie says proudly, and then promptly bursts out laughing.

“Uhm...Eddie with some flowers who?”

“What?” Eddie looks confused.

“...what?” Steve asks, feeling as confused as Eddie looks.

Eddie brightens again a second later, “knock knock.”

“Who’s there?” Steve asks again, cautious this time.

“Family Video.”

“Family video...who?”

“Family video not house!” Eddie declares, and then laughs uproariously.

From behind the counter, Robin Whispers, “what is happening?”

“I have...absolutely no idea,” Steve answers, right before Eddie starts again on another nonsensical knock knock joke.

There isn’t much that Eddie does that annoys Steve, to be fair, there’s not really anything. But this. By the time he gets home he’s had enough of Eddie’s one man comedy act. “Joyce,” he hisses down the phone desperately, “you don’t understand how shit they are; they don’t even mean anything.”

She has the audacity to laugh at him, “I remember the boys going through that phase. They both did it when they were...four? Maybe Jon was five.”

“How long does it last???”

“Oh, I don’t know, few months maybe, off and on?”

Steve, very gently, bangs his forehead against the wall.

Eddie’s holding a bunch of something pink and only, maybe, a tiny bit wilted. He’s bright eyed as he gets into the car, “Stevie, Chrissy say at me about a new thing. We can try?”

“Sure, baby, what is it?” Steve has the car in reverse, checking his mirrors as he pulls out of the spot.

“Blowjobs.”

Steve’s really pleased with how well he just...doesn’t react to that. Because, truthfully, he’s thought about it. He has. Really. But...well. Eddie’s teeth are sharp. And it’s not that Steve thinks Eddie would ever, ever hurt him on purpose, but that doesn’t mean Steve doesn’t have some, potentially, unresolved toe loss related trauma. And then there’s Eddie’s dick, and how...wriggly it is. How the end opens up and the...well. Just the whole thing, really.

“Stevie?”

“Why...are you and Chrissy talking about blowjobs?”

Eddie shrugs, “Chrissy not really like them, she ask if I liked them. I say I not try them. She said…” Eddie frowns, thinking, “she said, ‘you never get a blowjob?’ and got...angry sad? At Stevie?”

“Oh, she thought I was getting blowjobs but never giving you blowjobs?” Steve can, vaguely, feel his eye starting to twitch. He also can’t help but be fucking irritated with Chrissy, not only is it not her business, but he also can’t really be annoyed with her because...really if that’s what she was worried about, she is only sticking up for Eddie. He’s so naive, there’s no way Chrissy hasn’t picked up on just how innocent Eddie is, so Steve can't really blame her for thinking that anyone could take advantage of Eddie.

Even if it is fucking annoying.

“Yes, but I tell her no blow jobs at all. But we can try now, right?”

“Right. Right. Yeah. Sure. Uh hu.”

Eddie nods, “when we get home.”

“Right,” Steve says, with far more confidence than he feels.

“Stevie? Why not tell about blowjobs before?”

Steve hums, “just kind of...was saving it for a special occasion?” He tries desperately, he can’t look at Eddie as he speaks, keeping his eyes on the road, “didn’t want to go through all the good stuff too fast, you know?”

“Oh okay.”

Eddie limpets himself to Steve the second they’re over the threshold, demanding kisses, his fingers already exploring around Steve’s jeans button, “hang on hang on, couch or bed?”

“Couch,” Eddie answers easily, still kissing Steve as they walk awkwardly though the house. Steve sits, letting Eddie kneel between his legs, fumbling with his zipper.

And, the thing is, Steve really, genuinely believed he could do this. He trusts Eddie, he does. He loves Eddie, really, but he’s not even half hard when Eddie gets him out. And like Eddie...is, he tends to just go for things. Steve catches sight of the teeth and just...can’t. His hands are in Eddie’s way and he’s tucking himself away again before he can really think about it, “could we, maybe, leave this until...later?”

Eddie pouts, “want to try.”

“I just, I don’t want to do this right now, okay?” And the guilt Steve feels is a live thing. He remembers so clearly when he’d been frightened of Eddie’s dick, and how upset Eddie had been. That same fear raises it’s ugly head.

“But why? Chrissy tell me boys really like it-”

“I mean, I do. Kind of. But I just think we could...not do this.”

“But Chrissy say-”

“Jesus Christ Eddie.” Steve snaps, getting angry now. He’s not going to be prodded into doing something he just doesn’t want to do. Especially not by Chrissy Cunningham. “Since you’ve been working with her it’s been Chrissy this and Chrissy that, can’t you just, leave it? For once?” Steve gets up, needing to be away from this conversation.

“But why?”

“Because I just don’t want to, okay? Why don’t you go and ask Chrissy since she knows everything,” Steve snaps again, he knows he’s snapping, and it’s just making him angrier at himself for reacting this way, but he can’t seem to stop himself, defensiveness fueled by the guilt eating at him.

“Maybe,” Eddie says, hands on hips, frowning from the doorway.

“Go then. Go ask her what I should do about it.”

Eddie’s frown is nuclear now as he faces Steve across the kitchen, he tries to speak, half formed words at first, Eddie clearly struggling as he gets upset, “you think? You think?? You promise forever! Stee scared of Eddidie more! Eddidie different! Stee tell away!”

“You are though, you are different!” Steve knows he's wrong the second he says it. He knows Eddie well enough that saying that in anger is a cheap shot, and unforgivable low blow.

Eddie’s mouth pops open, shocked and affronted. He goes to speak but just...doesn’t. He turns and leaves...Steve hears the front door go.

“For fucks sake,” he sighs to himself, angry and upset with himself, the fight goes out of him as he’s swamped by guilt. Steve makes himself move to follow Eddie out. He opens the door just in time to watch Eddie pull the beemer out of the driveway, “oh fuck.”

“There’s pretty much only one place he would go, I think.” Steve tells Hopper, “so I’m pretty sure he will be there.”

Hopper hums from the drivers seat, “and what exactly did you two fight about?”

“I...well. I think this is one of those times where you don’t ask unless you’re really sure you want to know.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“Yeah, there it is,” Steve breathes a massive sigh of relief, the beemer is parked near the florist. Tight to the curb too, a good parking job, and there’s not a single mark on her. The florists however, is shut for the day.

Steve bangs on the door, peering through the glass. It’s dark inside, but there’s some light shining through that little door in the back. Steve knocks on the glass again, and eventually Chrissy appears. She unlocks the door, immediately telling Steve, “he doesn’t want to see you.”

“Kid, can I go?” Hopper calls from where he’s half tucked the truck out of the way.

“Yeah,” Steve waves him off, turning back to Chrissy, “I need to apologize to him. Please.”

She scowls and makes a vague humphing noise at him, “fine,” Steve slips awkwardly through the gap Chrissy allows him, and once in she locks the door behind him. Steve follows her into the shop, “Eddie, I’m putting some stuff in the car out back, you come get me if you need me, okay?”

Steve comes around the doorway to see Eddie nodding sadly, he’s sitting in what must be their tiny break room. There’s two chairs and a beat up Formica top table, a little electric kettle on top of a under counter refrigerator. Eddie’s got a scrunched up wad of tissues in his hand where he’s clearly been crying.

“Hi Eddie,” Eddie fiddles with his tissues and keeps his eyes on his knees, not looking at Steve, so he pulls up the other chair, “I’m really sorry.” Eddie nods, but doesn’t say anything.

“I just,” Steve sighs, rubbing at his face roughly, “I did get scared okay? But I shouldn’t have...I should have just explained, I shouldn’t have shouted.”

Eddie nods, shredding the tissue, “I sorry too.”

“It’s...not you're fault. Not really. I just...Eddie, your teeth are really sharp you know, and my dick is...my dick. I know you’d never hurt me on purpose, okay, I know that but…”

“Chri-” Eddie bites it back, and stops speaking again.

“Yeah. I’m sorry about that too. It’s good you have a friend okay? It’s good she’s...teaching you things I haven’t thought of. It’s…you can talk about Chrissy, it’s fine.”

“Chrissy say...no people should do anything they don’t want to. Especially with sex stuff...so Eddie a bit wrong,” he sniffles, “but she help me dig hole anyway.”

“What hole?”

“For your body. Dead soon, but that...kind of funny joke?”

Eddie says it in a way that means he did not find it funny at all, and Steve snorts a laugh, “yeah. Yeah, she’s a good friend.”

They sit in silence for another minute before Steve offers, “you did a really good job of parking the car...do you want to drive me home?”

“Yeah,” Eddie stands, and so does Steve, and then they both move in for a hug at the same time, Eddie desperately throwing his arms around Steve's shoulders and holding him as tight as he can.

Steve swears to himself he’s going to do better with this stuff, and lets himself nose at Eddie’s ear, his skin tickled by Eddie’s new curls.

Eddie answers the phone, “Harrington residence,” he says carefully.

Steve watches him frown for a second, before he says, “yes, wait please,” and then offers the phone to Steve, “doctors.”

“Oh, right, yeah,” Steve takes the phone, confirming his address and date of birth, before the lady tells him his test results are ready to pick up.

He hangs up, and Eddie’s there, offering him a pen, “that your birthday?”

“I- yeah. Yeah it was.”

Eddie nods, “should be on calendar before, Stevie,” Eddie admonishes gently.

“Okay, I’ll do it now, and then we can go get my results, okay?”

Eddie nods, “no more condoms,” he says solemnly.

Steve snorts a startled laugh.

There’s a frantic banging on the front door, then the bell rings. The bell rings again before Steve can even clamber up off the couch. It’s Eddie and Chrissy, and they hustle into the house before Steve even has the door all the way open.

Steve’s already alarmed, he isn’t due to pick Eddie up for another hour at least, and Chrissy wouldn’t just close the store unless it was an emergency.

“What happened?”

“There was a man,” Chrissy explains a little breathless, “Eddie hid behind the counter the second he saw him, and I’m sure he didn’t see Eddie, I’m sure. But he was asking questions. If a young man worked at the store, weird things about Starcourt. I just kept telling him no Steve but- he’s definitely looking for Eddie.”

Steve feels a mounting sense of dread as she speaks, “Eddie, did you know him?”

Eddie nods, looking frightened, “Starcourt. When I was in tank.”

“Tank?” Chrissy pulls a face, “what tank?”

“Uhm,” Steve suddenly realizes that Chrissy maybe shouldn’t be here for this part, Steve definitely needs to call Hopper, “Chrissy, thank you, but maybe you should go-”

“Absolutely not. Not if Eddie’s in trouble-”

“Okay, but the thing is-”

“Steve.” Chrissy huffs, “I know, okay?”

“You know...what?”

“I don’t know!” She flails a little, “I don’t know what I don’t know! But I do know that Eddie had never heard of the moon landing! He didn’t know that the guy on the five dollars is Abraham Lincoln! He didn’t know that other languages exist and he certainly can’t speak anything other than English even though, according to you,” she pokes Steve in the chest, “he should be able to speak Finnish! And he can’t!”

She’s getting worked up now, and Steve finds himself taking a step back, his hands up in defeat. For a tiny cheerleader, Chrissy’s kind of scary.

“He can find one bug in a delivery of a hundred stems Steve! And do you know how, he told me he can hear them! Hear them! I’ve watched him trim anything from daises to roses to full on sunflowers with his thumbnails Steve! He can cut baler twine with them. And don’t get me started on the florist wire, do you know what he does with that? He just straight up fucking bites through it!” Chrissy gets louder and pinker the longer she rants.

“He came to work with a mashed potato sandwich, like that's normal!! His tears are fucking brown! Brown! Those fingernails, that’s not polish, they’ve never been chipped, not once, they just grow that way, right? And I might be a blonde cheerleader but I am not stupid. So no. Okay, no. I don’t know what Eddie is. But I do know he’s my godamn best friend and if he’s in trouble, I want to help, okay?”

She’s all bright eyed and kind of breathless, and just a little terrifying. Eddie’s got his hands up in front of himself, nervously pulling at the threads of his cuffs, eyes big and worried as they slide back and forth between Steve and Chrissy.

Steve sighs, “okay. Okay. We can explain, but I just...I need to make a call first.”

Part TwentyEight

[bluearc009]

All I Want For Christmas is You.

Jessica: I don't want a lot for Christmas there is just one thing I need.

Ruby: I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree.

Weiss: I just want you for my own more than you could ever know.

All three: Make my wish come true all I want for Christmas is you.

Jessica: I don't want a lot for Christmas there is just one thing I need (And I) don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree I don't need to hang my stocking there upon the fireplace (Ah) Santa Claus won't make me happy with a toy on Christmas Day I just want you for my own (Ooh) more than you could ever know (Ooh) make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is you You, baby

Ruby: Oh, I won't ask for much this ChristmasI won't even wish for snow (And I) I'm just gonna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoeI won't make a list and send it to the North Pole for Saint Nick (Ah) I won't even stay awake to hear those magic reindeer click 'Cause I just want you here tonight (Ooh) Holding on to me so tight (Ooh) What more can I do? Oh baby,

all I want for Christmas is you You, baby

Weiss: Oh, all the lights are shining so brightly everywhere (So brightly, baby) and the sound of children's laughter fills the air (Oh, oh yeah) and everyone is singing (Oh yeah) I hear those sleigh bells ringing (Oh)

Santa, won't you bring me the one I really need? (Yeah, oh, oh) won't you please bring my baby to me?

Weiss: Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas this is all I'm asking for (Ah) I just wanna see my baby standing right outside my door Oh, I just want you for my own (Ooh) more than you could ever know (Ooh) make my wish come true Oh baby,

all I want for Christmas is you

You, baby All I want for Christmas is you, baby All I want for Christmas is you, baby All I want for Christmas is you, baby All I want for Christmas is you, baby All I want for Christmas is you, baby

[norrisleclercf1]

Day 3 of 25 Days of Christmas: Making Gingerbread Houses

Pairing: Jenson x Reader

Rating: PG

Words: 709

Warnings: None, just fluffy family time

"Gingerbread houses?" he asks as you hold the kits happily and nod your head. Yeah, it'd be great and adorable to post. You said you always wanted to do a cheesy Christmas tradition or something," you say, moving through the kitchen as you get everything you need to build the gingerbread houses.

"Baby, I was thinking you were just wearing bows and saying you're my present," he says. You turn, blinking at him, and he ducks his head, knowing what he just said should've stayed in his mouth. "Maybe later," you say, returning to the counter and opening the boxes. Jenson chuckles, moving to help you undo the boxes and look at the instructions.

"Do we need to follow these, or can we do whatever?" he asks, having yet to do this for many years. We can decorate it however we want, babe, but maybe build the house usually," you explain as you grab frosting and start to put it in the bag so you can quickly line it. "Okay, so what candies do we have?" He asks, digging through the bags.

"Gum drops, Twizzlers, Sour Patch Kids, little cookies, oh, Candy Canes, marshmallows, sprinkles, and jelly beans. Damn, that's a lot of candy," He chuckles, and you just smile, seeing him light up. You still remember the first Christmas you spent together. Jenson was still racing and living in England then. He wanted to build gingerbread houses then but couldn't as he was needed in Woking, and after that, you two just forgot; at least, he thought you two forgot.

"Can't believe you remember that; it was almost more than 10 years ago," He grumbles, and you smile; standing on your toes, you kiss his cheek. "Well, I remembered, and now you're finally here, and I thought we could do it while the kids sleep," You explain, and he hums. "Can, can we wake the kids? I want to do this with them," Jenson says, smiling, and you just stare at him, thinking about how you could fall more in love with him.

"Okay, I'll go wake the kids," you whisper. He smiles as he opens all the bags of candies and pours them into separate bowls. Jenson moves and turns on the TV, playing a Christmas movie he watched growing up, A Year Without A Santa Claus. He loved it; the kids have seen it and always sang with the characters.

"Daddy," Jenson turns, seeing his little boy. Will looks up at him. He was wearing his little reindeer pajamas and holding his little Grinch stuffie, which he liked sleeping with during the holidays. "Hey, bubba, " he whispers and leans down happily, picking him up as Will lays his head on his shoulder. "Mummy woke us," he says, and Jenson chuckles and pats his back.

"I know; I want to build gingerbread houses with my babies," he says gently as Emma comes running out, hair wild, holding her bear stuffie, and colliding into his legs, giggling. "Daddy, we get to build gingerbread houses," she whispers, and Jenson nods, gently petting the top of her head. "Are you excited?" he asks his 6-year-old, who nods her head quickly.

"What about you, Will?" He asks gently as the 3 almost 4-year-old whines. "Yeah," He whispers, and Jenson smiles, rubbing his back. "Emma, want to help me build the gingerbread house?" You ask as Emma nods, having always been a mummy's girl, as Will was the one who would give him cuddles at the moment. "Alright, Will looks like it's boys .vs. girls," He says, and Will giggles as Jenson bounces him gently before sitting him on the counter.

The house remains silent except for the Christmas movies, as everyone focuses on the two houses. Jenson hands Will the mini cookies he lays down as the roof and pathway lead to the house. Jenson smiles as he looks over at yours and sees a mess but chuckles, knowing you two were having so much fun. Jenson pulls Will close as the little boy just tosses candy now, making him snort as you turn; nudging your husband, he happily leans down and kisses you gently.

"Merry Christmas," you two whisper as the kids laugh and candy flies across the counters.

[gallusrostromegalus]

On God I was working on the AEIWAM Outline today but I also got "The AEIWAM cast, post-fic, go to the Aquarium" brainrot so have this:

It kicks off with Retsu seeing Kenpachi deep in thought for once and asking him what he's mulling over and after a moment he asks: "Are there zoos for fish?" "...Pardon?" "There are lotsa fish," he reasons, "-at least as many as there are land animals, but they're all really hard to see, because they're in the water." Retsu considers him for a moment before gently asking "Do you mean The Aquarium?" "The what?"

Retsu, texting Ichigo in the Gotei-13 Groupchat at 2AM: I need you to acquire tickets and human chaperones for a group field trip to The Aquarium Ichigo, who fears her above everyone else in soul society: Yes, Captain. Retsu: If it was just the SWA I'd only ask for tickets but you know what The Lads are like. Ichigo: Unfortunately, Yes. Ichigo: I'll bring the first aid kit, zip ties, duct tape and candy. Retsu: Good man.

Upon Arrival, Kenpachi has already been lectured about "You ARE NOT ALLOWED to fight and/or eat the fish, no matter how annoying and/or delicious they look

Turns out they were lecturing the wrong guy because it's Byakuya that develops a personal rivalry with a grouper ("It's smug expression disgusts me." "Captain that is a FISH.") and has to be talked out of climbing into the tank to fight it

after that he has to hold hands with Rukia or Renji.

Rukia discovers Sea Bunnies and ends up crying about them.

Yachiru gets to see them feeding the Piranha and it's a Spiritual Experience for her.

Later, she gets to see them feed the sharks and it's an EVEN BETTER spiritual Experience.

Hitsugaya learns Penguins are real and not just 'made up for christmas, like the flying reindeer and the guy with the suspect toy charity'.

Momo lights into him about "Penguins are my favorite animal, they've been my favorite animal for decades YOU THOUGHT THEY WERE FAKE?" Hitsugaya: "YOU ALSO USED TO LIKE UNICORNS!" Momo: "THOSE ARE ALSO REAL!" Orihime: "They are?" Momo: "...I keep forgetting they're extinct in the living world."

Tousen gets to experience the Touch Pool and the docents realize what's up so they start pulling out the cool stuff like sea hares and moray eels because he's an adult that can be trusted to pet things gently.

When the group comes back to collect him the staff is letting him hand feed a Pacific Red Octopus, and Yachiru immediately demands she be allowed to as well.

Retsu quietly releases Minazuki into the stingray touch pool so she can "go play with her cousins :)"

Kenpachi and Yamamoto asking "Can we eat it?" about every. single. animal.

The extremely dedicated docent that is *just* Psychic enough to know something is up with this group of chucklefucks so they're following them through the aquarium, but is also genuinely having fun answering every fucking insane question these guys ask.

Yoruichi was not anticipating there to be Tigers at the aquarium (they ARE semi-aquatic and part of a larger exhibit on Tropical Riparian Ecosystems) and she is SUPER NOT JEALOUS of how much Urahara and Baby Labcat like them.

There is also an exhibit with an Anaconda that the docent finds Rangiku staring at with a forlorn expression. Docent: "It's okay, not everyone is a fan of snakes." Rangiku: "What? Oh, no, I love snakes. They just also remind me of my Ex." Docent: *WomanTryingToDoMath.Meme* Docent: *Considers the size of the Anaconda* Docent: "...Ah. Yeah, I'd miss a man like that too."

Renji, Ichigo and Ikkaku going "Its YOU!" to each other over every single red, orange or round creature.

Kenpachi going "IT ME!!" about the black urchins before anyone can get him though.

Shunsui pointing at the sea otters that are holding hands and declaring, tears in his eyes "Jushiro! It's US!" Ukitake then prompty ruins the moment by telling Shunsui Fun Facts about Sea Otters like how they're basically giant marine weasels that will absolutely drown each other's young and maul anyone dumb enough to touch one.

The Dolphins all love Komamura and he is just a little bit smug about this.

Relatedly, not sure if its funnier for Komamura to show up in a Human Gigai, or as Tousen's "Service Dog"

Human Gigai: -Komamura is weirdly stony-faced and sort of intimidating and everyone thinks he's stressed out but really he's used to making micro-expressions and gesturing with his ears so he sorta just forgot how to move his face. -Still Nine and a Half feet tall and smacking his head on Everything

Service Dog: -"He's uh. A Shepherd. Mix." Ichigo says to the aforementioned Docent about what is very obviously a Bigass Timber Wolf. -Sajin doesn't give a rat's ass about his cover and keeps talking to Tousen while in dog form. If anyone looks at him funny he makes direct eye contact and says "Woof. Bark."

Yamamoto vs. Escalator. Catastrophic Beard Incident. 2 injured, 16 Dead but they were like that already.

Ukitake, Retsu, and Tama all Not Shutting Up With Facts About Every Fish Ever because they all share a Special Interest.

They briefly lose Byakuya in the Jellyfish exhibit because Rukia and Renji both thought the other one was holding Byakuya's hand and he is *enchanted* by the wall-sized tank of Moon Jellies.

Ikkaku attempting to talk Yachiru out of getting the ridiculously oversized Great White Shark plushie only for Zaraki to get it for both of them instead.

Everyone had a great time and is Very Tired and so they don't realize anything is amiss until they get back to Ichigo's place and the nightly news comes on. "Hey ichigo?" Yuzu calls. "Why is Ms. Unohana on TV?" The news has a story with a still image of Retsu on CCTV and "Authorities are looking for this woman who somehow ADDED a fully intact and highly venomous short-tailed stingray to the aquarium's touch pool" "OH MY GOD WE FORGOT MINAZUKI!"

[anjee0]

Merry Christmas

Female!reader x Eminem (Feel free to put in your own oc insert as well)

Description - Y/n and Marshall have Hailie, Alaina and Stevie over for Christmas.

Warnings - Pregnancy (not reader!)

Y/n opened her eyes as warm rays of sunshine peaked through the curtains and basked the room in a radiant, golden glow. She sat up in bed and smiled lazily at Marshall, who was sleeping peacefully next to her. Y/n could feel a buzz in the air— a joyous buzz. An atmosphere that was glowing with an exciting ambience. She sighed happily knowing that this was a feeling only Christmas could bring. She gently peppered soft kisses on Marshall’s face, making him wake up. He looked up at her and smiled as he wrapped his arms around Y/n and brought her close to him. 

“Merry Christmas, baby.” Y/n whispered into his neck.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart.” He whispered back as he ran his hand through her hair.

“We need to get up. The kids will be here soon.”

In a few hours time, Hailie, Alaina and Stevie would arrive to celebrate with them. It was also Hailie's birthday, which brought more excitement for today. However, considering the fun events of today, Y/n felt on edge. The thought of meeting Marshall's daughters made nervousness bubble up in her stomach rapidly.

“Okay, I'll get up, but let me hold you for a little longer.” Marshall murmured into her hair. 

Marshall could sense the anxiousness right through Y/n's voice so he tried his best to comfort her. He drew lazy shapes on her back as he gently caressed her hair.

“I know you're nervous,” he said. “But don't be. You'll be fine. I know they'll like you.”

“But what they don't?” She responded, as she looked up at him.

“Well, in that impossible scenario, I'll just have to prove to them how amazing you are.”

“But what if they don't like the gifts we got them?”

“Well, I assure you they'll like them because we both picked the presents put for them."

"Okay then..."

Marshall chuckled and placed a tender kiss on Y/n's lips. He smiled softly as his blue eyes reached hers, reassuring her that she had nothing to be scared about.

“I'll try not to worry then.” Y/n said. She felt safe with Marshall and knew she could trust him greatly.

“Good, come on, let's get up.”

They eventually got out of bed and started to clean the house. Y/n got started on dinner and small side dishes. She found herself running around the kitchen, sweat dripping down her neck, as she located ingredients, measured them precisely, and put them together.

“Babe, are you alright?” Marshall asked.

“Yeah, I'm fine, I just…” Y/n's sentence trailed off. “Trying to finish off some of the cooking we didn't get to finish last night.”

“Hey, you're cooking great and you know it. Don't stress.”

“Thanks babe, I just want it to be perfect.”

“It will be. Don't worry.”

They spent the rest of the morning tidying up the living room, kitchen, and the bathrooms. They prepared a few guest bedrooms, just in case anyone decided to stay the night. Every second was spent making sure everything was spotless with not a single particle of dust flying anywhere.

After cooking and cleaning, they decided to go change their clothes into something more appropriate than their scruffy pajamas. Y/n was rummaging through her closet, trying to find the perfect outfit for the occasion.

She pulled out two dresses from her closest and examined them closely, thinking carefully about which one she should wear. They were both flowy and decorated with flowy designs, making the decision even more difficult.

“Babe, which dress should I wear? This white one with the red designs? Or the red one with the white designs?” Y/n asked, Golding both the dresses up to Marshall.

“Or you could wear this…” He responded as he pulled out two matching Christmas sweaters.

The sweaters were both a cosy white colour with a row of red reindeer prancing in the middle. There were also small details of navy blue around the reindeer, making it all the more festive. 

“You got us matching sweaters?” Y/n asked, her heart melting at the action.

“Of course. They'll look perfect on us. And then I also got us these matching brown pants. They're gonna really bring it together.”

“Well look at you being a fashion guru.” Y/n captured his lips in a loving kiss before she rested her forehead on his. “But seriously, thank you babe. I love it.”

They both got changed into their clothes, the cosiness of the sweater embracing them in a warm and comforting hug. The couple looked perfect in their matching Christmas sweaters. Y/n immediately took a few cute mirror selfies of them together with Marshall wrapping his arms around her.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang as a cheery chime echoed through the house. Y/n swallowed down the nervousness that was already conjuring up in her body. Marshall reassuringly placed a soft kiss on her forehead, letting her know she had nothing to be scared about.

They both opened the front door and were immediately met by the three with a cheery smile on their faces. 

“Merry Christmas!” They all said.

“Merry Christmas!” Marshall and Y/n said back. “And happy birthday Hailie.” Marshall said, pulling Hailie in for a hug.

“You must be Y/n! I'm Hailie.” She greeted her with a welcoming smile on her face.

“I've heard a lot about you. It's so nice to finally meet you. And uh, happy birthday.” Y/n replied.

“Thank you, hopefully dad only told you the good things!” Hailie teased. “But I'm so glad I can meet you now.”

“Hey, Y/n. I'm Alaina.”

“And I'm Stevie.”

“Hey guys, nice to meet you.” Y/n replied.

“Alright, why don't we start with gifts?” Marshall said.

They all gathered around the sofa and got settled in as they made themselves comfortable. Y/n nervously placed her hand in Marshall's and held it as her thumb caressed his knuckles. He squeezed her hand slightly in reassurance, letting her know that he'd be next to her through the whole thing.

They first started with Hailie's birthday gifts. She received an eyeshadow palette from Stevie and a pair of new shoes from Alaina.

“This is amazing! Thank you so much guys.” Hailie said gratefully.

“Alright, this is the gift me and Y/n picked out.” Marshall said, handing a box wrapped in festive paper with a red ribbon.

Y/n waited in anticipation as Hailie undid the ribbon, letting it fall off the box. She slowly tore the paper away to reveal a red velvet box. Hailie opened it and was shocked to see a pair of diamond earrings.

“Oh my gosh!” She said, her eyes fully wide. “This looks amazing! How much was this?”

“Don't worry about the price. And actually, it was Y/n’s selection.” Marshall replied proudly as he smiled at Y/n.

Y/n nodded nervously and gave a shy smile in response.

“Y/n, this is amazing. Thank you so much. Truly.” Hailie said, her voice mounted with happiness.

“I'm glad you like it.” Y/n replied.

They then proceeded to open Christmas gifts. To Y/n's relief, everyone liked the gifts that they received from her and Marshall. Hailie got a bedazzled butterfly clip, Alaina got a set of lip glosses and Stevie got a collection of rings. 

“These are so sick!” Stevie said as she wiggled her fingers that were decorated in unique rings. “Thank you Marshall and Y/n.”

After the gift opening, bits of wrapping paper were scattered all over the floor, making a complete mess. Marshall sighed and nodded as he looked down on the floor.

“Alright, you kids set up the table. Me and Y/n will clean this up.” He said.

The three of them collectively agreed and made their way to the dining room to start setting up the table, leaving Y/n and Marshall by themselves.

“I think they like you.” Marshall said as he picked up the wrapping paper off the floor.

“Are you sure?” Y/n asked as she scrunched up the pieces of paper in her hand.

“I'm sure, baby. Hailie really likes those earrings. You've got good taste.”

“Thanks. Hopefully dinner can give me a chance to get to know them better.”

“Yeah, that's a great idea babe.”

After cleaning up and setting up the dinner table, Y/n and Marshall brought out all the food to the table. Hailie, Alaina and Stevie stare in admiration as the couple brought out a delicious looking roast turkey. It sat at the centre of the table, it's golden-brown skin glistening under the warm light. The side dishes were also brought out, including garlic mashed potatoes, salads and a brocoli cheese casserole.

“This looks amazing!” Alaina said. “You guys made this?”

“Mainly Y/n. I helped out too.” Marshall said.

“And by helping out, you probably just handing her the salt.” Stevie teased.

The while table erupted into a fit of light hearted chuckled meanwhile Marshall shook his head and rolled his eyes sarcastically, but deep down he knew the joke was funny.

“Believe it or not, he actually helped me out quite a lot.” Y/n said, patting his shoulder gently.

“Well either way, this food tastes great. Thank you so much.” Hailie said.

The dinner was a perfect opportunity for Y/n to get to know everyone better. The conversation was cheery with little bits of laughter here and there. The whole dinner carried a joyful and cosy atmosphere that lingered with everyone. By the end, Y/n was feeling pretty confident that she would get along with the girls perfectly.

After dinner, everyone settled down on the sofa and decided to put on a Christmas movie. They all decided on Elf— a classic. Marshall held Y/n close and rested his chin on her head as she laid her head on his chest. She felt comfortable against him in an embrace of safety.

“Where's Hailie?” Stevie asked as she looked around.

“I think she went to the bathroom.” Alaina replied.

“Hey, babe. I'm gonna go get some snacks, olay?” Y/n whispered.

“Okay baby. Come back quickly.” Marshall replied softly.

When Y/n entered the kitchen, to her suprise she saw Hailie leaning against the counter and looking down on the floor. She had a weary expression painted on her face, her eyes looked dull as she exhaled softly.

“Hailie, are you okay?” Y/n asked, as she approached her slowly.

“I'm fine.” Hailie replied.

“Is there something you wanna talk about?”

“I'm just feeling a little stressed about the pregnancy. I keep thinking I won't be a good mum.”

“That's a completely normal thing to be going through. Pregnancy can be stressful but you shouldn't worry about being a bad mum.”

“How can you say that?”

“Well if your parents raised you great, I'm sure you can too. And if you ever feel stressed, just let it be known that you have an awesome family who always be willing to listen to you.”

Hailie sighed softly and smiled as her gaze lifted from the floor to Y/n. “Thank you Y/n. I really needed to hear that.”

Hailie unexpectedly pulled Y/n into an embracing hug. It warm and comforting, allowing all of their worries to melt into a pool. 

A few hours later, it was time for the girls to leave. They bid Marshall and Y/n goodbye before they left the house and escaped into the chilly air outside. 

“Y/n, they definitely like you. I told you you had nothing to worry about.” Marshall said.

“Yeah, thank you Marshall. Today was great.” Y/n replied.

Soon after, they were changed out of their clothes and smuggled up in bed, wrapped around in fluffy blankets and tangled in each other's limbs. 

“You know, I head that talk you had with Hailie in the kitchen.” Marshall said as he softly played with Y/n's hair.

“You did?”

“Yeah, and you did a great job reassuring her. Thank you babe.”

“Of course.”

The next few moments, they stared at each other as a ckmfo silence hung in the air. An obvious tension grew between them as heat radiated off of their faces. Marshall leaned in and captured Y/n's lips into a delicate and passionate kiss.

When he pulled away he smiled gently as his gaze softened to a loving stare. His smile was an expre of nothing but love and care.

“I love you.” He said.

Y/n felt a flutter in her heart as she processed the words that came out of his mouth. He had just said that he loved her for the first time in their relationship. Y/n exhaled through her nose softly and gave him a kind smile.

“I love you too.” 

She could see the relief appearing in Marshall's face as she said those 4 words. They ended the night tight and snug in each other's embrace. Their love strong and comforting to each other.

A/N: Merry Christmas to everyone reading this! I really enjoyed writing the 5 weeks of Christmas Joy series, this was so fun to do. Thank you for everyone who read and left a like or a lovely comment. I love you all and enjoy your Christmas! 💗Also, happy birthday Hailie!

[enbysiriusblack]

december jily bingo: harry's first christmas @jilychallenge

Harry stared up at the twinkling tree, pulling on a red shiny bauble as James tried getting him to sleep.

"He won't go down," James sighed as Lily walked in.

Lily came over, cooing to him, "You excited to see your uncles, Harry?"

Harry giggled.

A knock sounded on the door and James glanced over.

"That'll be Remus."

He handed Harry over to Lily, who began trying to rock him. Harry continued to stare at the shiny big tree.

"Hey, Lily, Harry", Remus came in behind James.

"Remus!" Lily kissed his cheek, hugging him with one hand.

Remus awkwardly smiled at Harry, the smile only growing as Harry reached up to touch his face with a big smile of his own.

A few minutes later, the door blew open. Sirius and Peter made their way to the lounge. Peter sat down with Remus whilst Sirius plucked Harry out of Lily's arms and began gushing to Harry about his reindeer onesie he had on.

"James picked it out," Lily laughed.

Sirius glanced up to Lily, "He's a little deer."

"Yeah", Lily smiled.

"Merry Christmas," James came over, hugging Sirius with Harry laughing between them.

Lily grabbed a camera and herded everyone in front of the tree. She placed the camera down and charmed it to take a picture in a few seconds.

Sirius handed Harry back to Lily, just as the camera clicked, Harry in the middle of smiling brightly up at Lily and James, the two glancing back to their son in pure love.

"He loves christmas," James grinned, gently kissing Harry's forehead, "He's been refusing to nap all day."

"He just doesn't want to miss out on anything, do you, Harry?" Sirius leaned over to the baby.

Lily smiled, "Well, we'll have many more christmas' together."