#yeah this counts as a ramble
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Good luck with that clip studio paint thing! Sounds brutal
THANK YOU ITS FUCKING AGONIZING OUT HERE
I'm at such a weird crossroads where it's like. Okay cool, I can fix my references for myself, and I can make sure nothing gets desaturated in the future, but uploading anything anywhere else will just revert it BACK to being deaaturated literally WHAT am I supposed to do about that
Plus not to mention results seem to vary depending on whether or not the person viewing it has a Mac or not, I've had people helping me tell me it looks 100% fine on their screen but mine is still very visibly Wrong and I can't! Trust! My computer! I think it's either always going to look wrong to me but other people will be fine, or it'll look fine to me but not anyone else WHICH IS. UNDERSTANDABLY FRUSTRATING
Can't afford to get a non-Mac computer rn and my family can't afford to help me with it so right now my solution is Hope And Pray That Artistree Doesn't Desaturate My Stuff So Commissions (At Least) Will Be Fine 👍
#it is sooooo fucking stressful but also like. theres not much i can do?#plus getting it to look nice for everyone else at the expense of it looking bad for me#involves re-exporting EVERYTHING through an entirely different program that ih#not gonna lie kinda Sucks Ass on mac. it is so fucking hard to navigate that#and its a program i used to use!! just not on mac#its literally a lose-lose-lose scenario rn so i think i just have to cut my losses#at the very least i hope i let other people know so they dont do this as long as i have been#but yeah. probably THE biggest motivation block ive ever had#in the sense of Why Bother Making Anything If Itll Always Look Bad No Matter What I Do#not to mention all the people who thought i did it on PURPOSE......#yeah hi sorry i just needed to yell for a while im fine now#thank you for the sweet ask im dying just a little bit but itll be fine#ask#mayhamster#randy rambles#yeah this counts as a ramble
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coming to a realization
fuck 😔
#yeah ik billy technically doesnt count but theyre tinted enough#also kevin dooley has the flight helmet but shhh i hc him with sunglasses now <3#avis ramblings#kazuhira miller#master miller#hellmaster miller#good cop bad cop#gcbc#russell adler#baby billy freeman#kevin dooley#t 1000#agent smith
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it’s so funny going into monsterfucker spaces and seeing people argue about whether Venom is a tame monster crush or not and I think I figured out why ppl argue about it. I think there’s two separate levels to liking Venom and people just don’t specify which one they’re talking about
the first is what most people think of: you want Venom when they’re in a separate host and in their more humanoid form. they look like just a really tall guy, and you’ve got some monster traits involved but not quite as many as level two. this is the tame level.
the second level is when you want to be their host. you’re pulling an eddie brock— you’re fucking the slime that lives inside of you and cannot take on a humanoid form outside of yourself. it’s just a mass of black goop that lives in your organs and speaks to you in your head. this is why some people would consider Venom a more extreme monster crush
#or it could just be that the people who call them extreme are cowards#but yeah#I’ve been thinking about this a lot with the ‘craziest hear me out’ trend on tiktok#because every time it happens people debate whether venom truly counts as a ‘hear me out’ character#which I think to any sane person would be deranged because either way ur still fucking the slime monster#but I love spending stupid amounts of time thinking about the silliest internet beef I can find#and as someone who falls in the second level!! I get annoyed when ppl call venom an entry level monster crush lmao#sam’s ramblings#venom#sam talks about venom#monsterfucker#monster lover#please tell me this makes sense to other people
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OK, which comics people consider "good writing" for Jason as Red Hood? Because it seems as if anytime he appears is labelled "bad writing" for his character. At this point, it seems only Under The Read Hood is good, but, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, one story from 20 years ago isn't enough to determine his whole character? Can he not change and grow? Get worse perhaps? Should he be stuck behaving exactly the same forever, which is at a point in his life where he was really not well mentally? And don't answer Lost Days, that's the story about how he grew to be like he is in Under The Red Hood, that's not answering how he should behave now.
Btw, this is not an invitation to tell me how you would write Jason as Red Hood or what you want to see him do, and what you want DC to do with him. I'm asking WHAT CANON are you basing yourself on.
#jason todd#red hood#batman#batfam#dc comics#my ramblings#you cannot use any jason canon moments to base your points on without someone being like “actually he was ooc that time”#then when was he not?#when I argue that Bruce is ooc I have multiple examples to backup my point#but with jason everyone is crying he is badly written all the time#when he killed people? don't count. when he stopped using guns? don't count. when he tried to kill his siblings and children? don't count.#when he is close to his family and shows that he loves them? don't count.#utrh was an arc of his story with AN END so now he has to continue on and go through other arcs#yeah it's me again complaining which will lead to jason stans being mad at me when I'm anxious af#once again I have nothing against Jason I just don't understand y'all
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Pumpkin queen has been my latest obsession
#PUMPKIN QUEEN I LOVE YOUUUU#the skit is SO funny lmao#i may or may not have already drawn fan art of her..#also theyre so young omg#sfth#shoot from the hip#i guess these count yeah#ghost rambles
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RealAgeAU drabble - Moving
Hello I am back and I got another idea for this little silly au that I have @spotaus to thank for for the original idea :3 Though I think this may be officially becoming one of my AUs hahahaha
First part Prev Part Next part
Also yes. I know it would work better to number these uploads but also i am not writing these in any set order so it will become miserable for all of us if i number them because either they will be out of order or I will have to rework all the names and I am already editing links I don't need that extra energy in my life.
ANYWAY! :D
Next part! The one I lovingly clal in my head - The one where the gang finds a more permanent temporary home. (also yes. Before this they all speed-run the whole Parental bonding and emotional bonding to the idea of having a babybones. Which honestly can and probably will make four different drabbles)
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Horror stares at the door and wonders once again how he got to this point.
Well, no. That is a lie. He knows exactly how he got to his point.
He glances over his shoulder where the other four at hiding off to the side. Out of view from the doorway but still visable for Horror if he looks just right. Seems like Dust won the discussion, again, and is holding Nightmare, again.
Horror wants to say it is surprising how quickly they all just... accepted the situation they got into but he really isn't. Monsters are weird like that. Forced adoption is not that wild all things considered when you are talking about beings made of magic and emotions.
Horror stares at the door and raises his hand before knocking twice.
He really hadn't wanted to do this but they have no other choice. As he waits he can't help but think back to what made them decide this.
Cross walks from side to side "That was way to close! That was the third time we came across the Stars with Nightmare out. Third!"
Killer nods from where he is sitting wiht the sleeping Nightmare in his lap "Yeah no kidding. It is annoying as shit that they are hunting us."
Dust shrugs "Not surprising. Nightmare 'disappeared' after all. We are their only lead."
Killer grins "We were lucky Cross managed to lie his way out of the last one." and he shoots Cross a wink.
Cross sputters "I panicked!"
Killer grins and winks "Sure sure daddy crossy."
Horror holds up his hands between his two... co-parents "This is not the time. We need to figure out where we can go." and he thinks things over.
Cross sighs "I don't get how they keep finding us!"
Dust huffs as he packs their bags "We go to too little universes. Makes it easy for Ink and Dream to pick us out because they recognise us personally."
Killer frowns "Meaning. we need a big universe?" he taps his chin "But also mostly positive as we still don't know how obvious Nightmare would be otherwise."
Cross frowns "I think it will be fine. He can't feel the balance anymore right? And no one seems to have a reaction to him like they had before nor how people have a reaction to Dream's aura thing. Maybe with the corruption gone he really is just... ex-guardian now?"
Killer groans "I hope so. I am not a fan of child labor."
That is when it hits him. Horror sits up "I think I know a place."
All of them turn to him and he immediantly regrets saying anything. See? This is why he normally tries to limit what he says.
Either way. Here they are now and Horror prays this works. Please. They need one thing to work in their favor.
The door opens and a gasp "Horror! It has been ages! It is great to see you. How have you been?" Crop smiles at him.
Horror steels his nerves. Come on. Too much hangs on this moment "Hey Crop. Nice to see you. I am... okay. How are you?"
Crop frowns at him instantly "You sure? You don't sound okay. Trouble at home?"
Horror chuckles "Kinda? Not exactly. Euh... Can't go back to that place now?"
Crop frowns "Why? Need a place to stay? I got a spare room."
Okay yes! this is going great! just... gotta make sure he knows.
Horror nods "I do need a room. Not just for me though..." Crop starts to frown and Horror raises his hands "Just temporarily!"
Crop frowns "Did... something go wrong?"
Horror pauses and thinks this through once more. He trusts Crop. Crop has never been anything but kind even when Horror had been an ass. Even when he had to once drag Dust here to get healing before they could make the jump back home.
Horror looks to the side and he sees the others just beyond the treeline, hidden in shadows and waiting. Crop takes a look as well but he can't quite spot them. Crop looks back up at him.
Horror takes a deep breath "You need... to promise me, no not just promise you need to swear. That what you are about to learn will not leave this universe."
Crop frowns as he immediantly looks uncomfortable. It is the reaction a promise gets from most of them. But Crop also shoots him a considering look before he nods. He holds out a hand "I swear and promise I will not share the about to be giving information. UNLESS! It endangers anyone." and he waits.
Horror stares at the hand and thinks. That... That is fine right? That should be fine. Nightmare being a child doesn't endanger anyone. Only them and Nightmare. Horror nods and shakes the hand.
Crop nods and steps aside "Come inside. I bet you will be more comfortable explaining there." he glances at the forest "Do your... friends? Want to come in too?" a guess clearly. probably on multiple fronts.
Horror shakes his skull "Not yet. Need to know your answer and reaction first." He turns to the forest and makes a signal to wait a bit longer. He sees a thumbs up shot his way back. Probably Killer. He never bothered with the signals they had learned together.
Crop nods as he steps aside and Horror walks in, having to duck slightly for the door. The door closes behind him and Horror sees the small living room with fireplace.
Crop leads him to the kitchen "Lets talk there. I will get some tea."
A few minutes later they are both seated and with a cup of tea. Crop looks at him expectingly.
Horror takes a deep breath and takes out their most valuable resourch. The Dreamtale book. And places it on the table. Crop frowns at it before looking at Horror.
Horror nods to it "It will help explain... Very long story short... Nightmare was never an adult. He was a child with a magical shield of some type. That magic has ran out."
Crop stares at him for a moment, then he pulls the book closer and starts reading it. He pauses at the title before opening it.
And now he waits.
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Crop sits wiht his skull in his hands. Horror just sits across from him, with his empty cup of tea. Crop's own cup has grown cold a long time ago. Horror just waits for anymore questions but Crop hasn't said anyhting in the last ten minutes.
Horror looks back at the book and sees that Crop has turned the pages back to the one with the drawing of Nightmare's head being cracked open. The image makes a very clear show on how small Nightmare was compared to the ones attacking him.
Horror still thinks the book doesn't do it justice. Nightmare is much smaller in person than the picture makes him seem. The cracks had been much worse than the picture showed. But it is the closest they got.
Crop finally sighs and speaks. He doesn't look away from the picture "I don't... Know a lot about this whole... multiverse stuff. It isn't my place at all. And that is fine." he pauses for a moment "But this... You are telling me... That the one being that had everyone afraid. That everyone saw as a demon. Is a child... is this child?"
Horror nods before he explains more "Nightmare... gained a lot of magic and powers when he ate those apples. At least that is what the story implied. We haven't managed to get him to tell us yet, mostly because well... he is six again." Crops pulls a face as well, yeah. Horror agrees. A PTSD filled six year old is not easy. But they are managing.
Horror nods "so... What Cross nad Dust think what happened is that... The magic and negativity of the apples bond itself to Nightmare. Which game him the magic and powers he would use. The connection to the balance because the apples were part of the balance. and more importantly, an adult form and mind to fit all the magic. There was just no way all that magic and energy would have fit a babybones. Especially one that hadn't shown much magic beforehand." an assumption on their end as Nightmare was never said to use magic in the book.
"We think... We think that this magic of the apples just. ran out. We had been in battle at the time and Nightmare had been hit but it shouldn't have had that much of an effect. it was the same type of attack he had been hit by before. Dust thinks it was just the last bit of magic that the apples had having run out. Meaning that with the magic and energy so went the form." all a theory of course. But it is the only thing they have.
Crop nods as he clearly thinks "And as he was suddenly an adult. instead of just being afraid and scared. all that pain and emotions took a more violent turn. As he was an adult and was suddenly able to realise that it was unfair which made him angry..." Crop pauses.
Crop glares back at the table and shakes his skull "It is... It is a whole story about victim blaming. A victim is blamed for the abuse they suffered. They are made to believe they deserve it and should be abused. Then as soon as they fight back and defend themselves they are seen as guilty." Crop takes adeep breath as he leans back "What I don't get... Why come here? I can't help with any of this."
Horror shakes his skull "This isn't about any of the big stuff. We don't even care about it. We just... Nightmare is himself again. His real self." he taps the page lightly "Not his aged-up self that the corruption enabled him to be."
Crop stares before his face changes to shock "You are trying to hide him." Then a frown "Why not go to your own home? Has it been compromised?"
Horror snorts "At this point? probably." a confused look and Horror continues "Nightmare used his magic to shield off an universe and make a castle." he shrugs at the glance "Nightmare likes to read. I imagine he liked to read back then too. He may have been an adult technically but he was still a child at soul. Child him wanted a home and wanted that to be a castle and adult him made it happen... probably... that is Killer's theory at the moment."
Crop laughs and nods "Suonds reasonable- oh... and with his magic disappearing."
Horror sighs "When I left his universe the castle had already been decaying..."
Crop frowns "Left? The five of you you mean?"
Horror looks to the side and feels the shame return "We.... we did not react well... when we saw the changes at first... we... we obviously dind't know what was going on and well." he looks down "We abandoned him. I know it was wrong and stupid and we all regret it. We came back but we still did it." shame.
shame shame shame shame shame shame shame-
A hand on his shoulder. Horror glances up and Crop smiles at him "It is okay. You are trying to fix it now right? obviously. Not cool that you abandoned a child... but it can be nerve wrecking. Suddenly going from a position where a person is mostly guiding you, to going to a position where you suddenly are responsible over that same person."
Horror looks to the side "We still left." he can't believe they just left!
Crop nods "But you returned." he grins "And you are trying to fix it."
Horror nods again "We are..." he chuckles "Not that we have been doing a good job at it. Jumping from place to place."
Crop hums "So you are looking to settle, at least for a little bit, while also hidding. Why this universe?"
Horror nods "Yeah..." He looks to the side "We... we don't know how everyone will react. To him being like this. Maybe they will react well. Maybe not. We don't want to risk it. Risk him."
Crop stares at him for a long time and nods "There must be better places?"
Horror shakes his skull "The Stars kept finding us. Dust figured out we needed a big universe that leans towards positive. Yours is one of those. It is one of the wider and bigger ones. And overall leaning towards positive."
Crop frowns "It can't be the best one..."
Horror shrugs but continues "True... there are bigger and more positive ones. But those are busy. Many people. many places. Yours is quieter. more empty. Gives peace and room to work from."
Crop frowns as he taps his chin. He thinks deeply before sighing "You guys got any type of backstory we can use? The multiverse thing isn't a known thing here and the only reason my brother and I know is because you crash landed here."
Horror blinks "You will let us stay?"
Crop nods "Sure." and he grins "Can't kick out four parents with a babybones." and he gets up.
Horrro shakes his skull "That isn't... Well I mean technically." He knows that Killer has come close to killing quite a few people with how protective he has grown over Nightmare and that isn't even including the motherhenning of Cross nor the clinginess that Dust has.
Crop chuckles as he nods towards the stairs "The attic is messy and should be cleaned but can be used by you four, well five. There is an old bed and an old lounge chair up there." more thoughtful "How big is he exactly? we will need some clothes. Probably also get a healer to check him if he is developing okay after all those magical shenanigans."
Horror stares for a moment before smiling "Thank you... I know it is a lot."
Crop shrugs as he opens the linnen closet "Horror. Taking care of milking all the cows on your own is a lot. Having to fix your roof in the middle of a thunderstorm is a lot." He straightens his spine with blankets in his arms "Helping a friend and his friends who have somehow aqcuired a babybones, while strange, does not compare to either of those. Now get your friends out of those woods. They will make the animals nervous." he grins "I am excited to be one of the first ones to meet the real Nightmare."
Horror smiles as he packs his book and goes towards the door. "Thanks again Crop."
Crop waves it off as he moves the piles upstairs.
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Boom! and they are staying in FarmTale for now! Horror and Crop are homies and Dust is more of an acquaintance of Crop but it works. Aged-up Nightmare knew that Horror had an universe he liked to visit but never demanded details. *shrugs* Nightmare didn't see the point. as long as horror wasn't going to betray him what did it matter he didn't tell him?
Surprise Nightmare, this is your temporary home now. For a bit. or maybe longer? They are still figuring it out.
First part Prev Part Next part
#RealAgeAU#UTMV#fanfiction#drabble#nightmare sans#Deaged Nightmare Sans#Horror Sans#Dust Sans#Killer Sans#Cross Sans#Farm Sans#Look most of them aren't in it for long but they had to be included okay?! They are mentioned! It counts!#We are back with me writing stuff to indulge myself again#hihi i am having fun#The guys are all very attached to their immortal toddler.#does six year old equal a toddler?#okay one google search later and turns out it doesn't.#doesn't matter immortal toddler sounds funnier#What else.#Yeah right Horror 100% once crash landed in FarmTale and had to wait for his teleport crystal to recharge before he could leave#He made friends.#and once Dust got dragged along for the ride because the idiot got too hurt to teleport them and Horror's crystal didn't have enough charge#so they made a stop there#Dust was very confused to wake up in a random farmhouse#This is also why Dust hasn't just teleported away with Nightmare#because technically this isn't a strange universe and he kinda knows these people#so relatively okay#Killer and Cross however are not yet chill about this#But yeah they are rooming with Crop for a bit :D#Okay rambling over time to fix my links
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Just saw someone on Quora saying that there weren't any queer figures in the American Revolution, and oh mah GAWD I yapped on for so long that my phone gained 67% more battery in that time.
Me and mah lil ol' yassified Steuben pfp yapped about lams and all the other ga-*GUYS for so, so so long😭
Anyways, tags go brr.
*burr
#amrev#amrev fandom#american revolution#amrev slander#baron von steuben#von steuben#queer history#idk#why#lgbtq history#lgbtq#lgbtqia#ranting#ramblings#quora#things i did today#today kinda sucked#today is a good day#i did a thing#i did it#stupid people#yeah no some people suck#historical lams#lams#halemadge#ehhhh this doesnt really count but#jeffmads#john laurens#historical john laurens#alexander hamilton
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I think we should just bring back Wungo Wednesday and start a fandom collective anime rewatch
#Because otherwise I can feel I won't last much longer#Because like. The last two hyperfixations of mine ended the moment I started feeling like there wasn't any new content#And two days ago in one day I started a new manga a new book and rewatching a favourite show#Whereas I hadn't started anything new in the two years ever since I got into bsd. Which makes it NOT a good sign#But the bsd anime has now ended for one month and 25 days and that's the last time the plot actually moved forward.#And if I counted right. The manga took 4 chapters (that is chapters 110-111) to adapt 6 minutes#That means it's going to take another 12 months (18 minutes left to adapt. that's 12 more chapters) to catch up with the anime#Yeah I'm not. sticking around this long with nothing new to see I'm sorry#Best case scenario I take a one year hiatus but that doesn't make it sound likely that I'll be back#And I know it's fresh news as early as this morning that author said they were introducing a new character but like.#They also said they finished writing this arc like. One year and half ago if I remember correctly?#And we still have yet to see the end of i t so...#That is to say. I'll probably be starting an anime rewatch starting next Wednesday. I've been meaning to do it for a while anyway#I don't want to leave the fandom I like the one chapter a month format#On the positive news I still have a queue of original posts that spans over ten months#And I was meaning to start the reblogs queue too in these days. So there's that#random rambles
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When it comes to OG!Cale ships I like both OG!AlCale and OG!ChoiHan but it really depends on the scenario
For example, I like OG!AlCale in both regression aus and TBoaH adjacent timeline things because I think a huge thing I like in their dynamic is how mysterious they both are to the other party. The fun of their dynamic is them discovering more about each other and the various miscommunications they have cause of their own personalities, and I think that works very well no matter the universe.
But with OG!ChoiCale, I feel like I can really only enjoy it in TBoaH adjacent things or if they both have the memories of the first life.
To me, a big thing about OG!ChoiCale is about the life they lived together, how they hated eachother, how they both didn’t know eachother for years, how they could have spent time together during the war due to unfortunate circumstances(there not being enough people left)
Like, I think OG!ChoiCale can be such a cool dynamic, such a sad, but comforting one at the same time. It’s a little bitter how the man you thought you would hate forever became a close companion, how he’s more similar to you than your younger self woild have ever thought, but do you really hate it?
Can you really hate having a person who understands you, when so many people have died? When so many are gone?
Something about the sadness of it all, how it was tragedy that brought them against each other at first, but now it brings them together. How they could only ever grow to understand eachother because of the pain they face, the pain that they shared. At some point, can you really hate him, even until the end? After all those years? After coming to understand him? No, you cannot.
Like, it adds in extra layers when they both care about each other at some point mid-way through the war, but they still can’t really talk to eachother properly. They care, but they frustrate one another, anger each other. Choi Han doing increasingly more risky and self sacrificial things because ‘I’m a hero’ ‘I have to do it.’ ‘It is justice to save people’, despite the fact that it’s at the expense of himself
And Cale’s frustration at Choi Han’s attitude. He can never wrap his head around the fact that Choi Han destroys himself for the sake of other people, and believes it’s heroic(He knows Choi Han doesnt, he know Choi Han hates it too, but he doesn’t know what else to say to himself other than the fact that ‘it’s for the greater good’, because he will go crazy if he doesn’t)
He’s mad, but there’s some twisted sense of understanding in there too. Cale understands, because he became trash for his family, he became trash to protect them, he had to do it.
But that’s only what he thought.
He was older now, he had lost them all, and he had seen how his trash act hadn’t done anything to protect them. It only distanced him from them, and now they were gone, and he could never see them again, he could never make amends.
Cale is mad at Choi Han for sacrificing himself because while Choi Han is hurting himself, the people who he loves, and the people who love him, watch him do it over and over again and he doesn’t listen to their worried cries.
He’s mad, but he understands. It was frustrating to be on the other side, watching someone destroy themselves for the sake of others when the people who cared about them wanted the exact opposite. The only difference between him and Choi Han was that Choi Han was never a good liar, he could never hide how much pain he went through.
In a way, Cale thought it was better that way.
At some point, there is love that is there. Love that follows them, and it’s so painful because they both know the tragedy edy to it that is how they are doomed, how they can never be happy in the first time line where they knew each other.
Because as Cale and Choi Han, they can’t be happy. Not when so much has been lost, not when the world is falling apart, they may love each other, but loving each other as they are means being in a world where everything else they love is gone.
It is a cruel kind of love.
Like let’s say they do pursue these feelings, even though knowing those two I don’t think they’d ever say anything in that scenario. If they did it would probably be Cale going like:
“Choi Han, do you love me?”
Choi Han doesn’t say anything, but his silence in place of adamant refusal is enough of an answer.
“Do you love me, Cale?”
Cale doesn’t say anything either, only smiling at Choi Han with his signature, cynical and bitter smile.
He didn’t deny it either.
It was a confirmation of feelings, but unlike the confessions from romance novels and stories, the main character and lead do not end up together and live happily ever after.
They stay together, but the world around them is not happy, not at all. They are together, but not as partners or as lovers, but two people who live in their suffering because all they can do is live.
I feel like anything they do together would always have an air of melancholy to it. Maybe they kiss, once, and no more, because there is no point in making it a regular thing. Not when everything in their world will end, even if they keep on fighting for it to not be that way.
They kiss, and it’s short, but in that short moment, the world is nothing but Cale and Choi Han.
Isn’t that selfish? If it’s like this, then they could ignore how everything has gone so badly. But that is exactly why they cannot be together, there is no ignoring the reality of their situation, no matter how sweet it would be to live in a false dream and never wake up.
I like my OG!ChoiCale a little doomed.
#I LOVE DOOMED YAOI!!!!!!!!#I can only like OG!ChoiCale when they’re different from TCF ChoiCale#actually that’s something I don’t like in a lot of things#where it’s just TCF copy and pasted but Roksoo is gone and OG Cale is in his place#it’s something I don’t prefer personally#because I like OG Cale as he is#and not as KRS’s replacement#I like both of them and they both deserve their own stories#not to say that OG AlCale is similar to TCF AlCale#they aren’t really similar#but I guess I’m more particular about how I feel on OG ChoiCale cause they’re my favorite ship 😭#yes the ship with zero screentime is my favorite#I know#it’s tragic#but yeah I like OG!ChoiCale as doomed old man yaoi#I think there is a lot of potential in their dynamic#because of how doomed the TBoaH universe is#tcf#lcf#just rambling#trash of the count's family#lout of the count’s family#tcf novel#lcf novel#og cale henituse#choicale
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Some thoughts on Ruin
Just me rambling about Ruin rn and what I think is going on Ruin is a liar (or "actor" as he'd call it) yes, but he's also not the gleefully evil villain laughing about how nefarious he is that some people expected him to be because of what we knew of him under the virus. The opposite actually. He does not want to hurt Sun or Moon. He is (kinda) willing to explain what he's doing. He feels guilty about making Eclipse, who's directives like making the puzzles actually made him less violent than usual. Acknowledges how fair it is for Sun to be scared of him that they all deserve answers after everything he put them through. He's a theater kid to the core who won't fess up what the grand finale is, but I don't think his plot is something with evil intentions. Everyone else is talking about essentially the end times happening but what does Ruin mumble about? "It'll all be free soon?" Whatever he's doing I'm not gonna deny will likely fuck over the multiverse and need to be stopped, but until we get more info I think Ruin has good intentions vs fucking things up for the sake of being evil and the like. Morally grey rather than straight up villain Additionally Ruin doesn't actually know when he rebuilt Eclipse and whether it was him or his virus self. Perhaps he was never fully cured and he's continuing a plan the virus set in action, but with my current theory it's more that this truly is the real Ruin's plan and he pushed through the virus to set it up.
#hes still a silly to me just a sadder silly#him setting up a situation with sun expecting to die because of it?#sad -holds him-#but yeah I think Ruin believes hes doing a good thing (maybe trying to do smthn against the creators of the multiverse?)#its very much not good but its the thought that counts and makes him more than a one dimensional character#sun and moon show#tsams#basil rambles
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i am so normal abt my dnd character…i’ve never understood liking ur oc so much and hyperfixating on them, but. this year………i have done it fellas
#IT’S SO WILD TO ME….#FOR 8 YEARS I’VE BEEN LIKE ‘haha yeah ocs just aren’t my thing i don’t get as much joy from drawing them than i do fanart !!’#and then— boom#cable#this past week i’ve been writing a google doc compiling every information abt cable and it is 30 pages and counting#i am SO NORMAL ABOUT HIM#shoutout to my frens for also loving him a lot and fueling the thoughts 😭😭#i luv this dnd group i luv my frens 🫶#casu’s ramblings#my shtuff#d&d#angels of apostasy#literally for the past year i’ve been like ‘hm. i wonder what my next hyperfixation will be after cr…..’ and then it’s dnd game!! oc time!!#gosh…
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Okay I'm kinda talking out my ass/projecting my own autism onto Saiki here but:
Though Saiki is an unreliable narrator and truly loves his friends, I think some of his resentment over hanging out with them is real, and I can understand it.
I am a person who can readily admit I love my friends, and I do like to socialise, but I need plenty of warning beforehand and time to recuperate afterwards, because socialising takes effort. When I'm invited to do something or hang out with friends, I almost always feel a shadow of resentment about it - even if it's a thing I want to do and with people I like. It still feels like I'm losing out on a day of doing jack-shit. Cancelling on doing jack-shit is still cancelling on plans, even if those plans were just "wake up, write fanfiction, draw pictures, etc." and it throws me off. I feel like I can't enjoy spending time with my friends unless I give myself time to get excited about it, and if it happens too suddenly I find myself shutting down or floating away a bit.
Now, if we look at Saiki, who's friendship with all these people was pretty much built on these kinds of interactions, and add those to his deep-rooted belief that he doesn't deserve friends, that resentment and anxiety must be even more strong. I think the fact that Saiki obviously grows to care for his friends really shows his deep desire for connection, even more so if we go with the interpretation that some of his negative feelings about them are real.
My point with this ramble isn't to say "Saiki really does find the others annoying and therefore doesn't like them" but rather the opposite. On some level, Saiki is "tolerating" being out of his comfort zone, but the fact that he's willing to do this for his friends shows that he really does care about them.
#I fucking FELT that episode where Saiki's friends kept inviting him to do stuff over the holidays until he had no time to himself#I like people and hanging out and stuff but I would still HATE that#“oh no my beautiful summer vacation is being filled up with horrible activities!” I know what u are#this long-ass ramble was inspired by the fact that I just spent a day with my friends after only a day's warning#I love them very much but felt kinda awful the whole time and my brain was like extra slow#and was like “man does Saiki feel like this every time he hangs out with his friends? I'm surprised he isn't even MORE of a grump”#but yeah I think it probably gets a bit easier for him once walking home with the others and getting ramen becomes a routine#the annoyance is 100% real at first and then after a while he's sorta lying to himself but is still tired by the others#that's my headcanon#pendragon theories#does that count as a theory?#saiki k#saiki kusuo
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I was at one point gonna make an actually colored nice finished drawing for this, but I’m not feeling it and the trend will probably be completely dead by the time that I do if it isn’t already ugh. So you get doodle Miku now :3!
Anyway uh weird middle of absolutely nowhere in the rural US Midwest Miku. I’ll mini rant about it a little bit under the cut 👍
I literally had to look up my own culture for this cause I couldn’t think of anything 💀💀💀💀💀. Especially not anything that actually applies to me, if that makes sense. Minus the fishing pole, this is the closest to my current experience I could get. Her expression is very reminiscent of the experience of being out here tbh.
Apparently ranch dressing is a thing???? I didn’t know cause I really don’t like ranch. Same with casseroles. Fishing is a local hobby, but I don’t have a fishing license and don’t like being around water. So is fixing old cars, but I’m not strong enough to do any of that. There isn’t a consistent accent or slang here, it’s just a bunch of stuff from everywhere else. Not really distinct clothing. A couple bands are from nearby states, but they’re not associated with them much. Uh some sports teams I guess. I don’t watch sports. Everywhere for miles looks the same cause it’s all corn and closest place to do anything is in a big faraway city and involves spending money you probably don’t have and shouldn’t.
There’s not a whole lot tbh.
Idk, this whole experience was basically “wow Miku around the world? So cool! I wanna draw Miku :D!!!! Oh hey wait, where I live is very bleak and bland actually—“ 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
#art post#my art#Miku#hatsune miku#miku hatsune#miku worldwide#miku around the world#incoherent rambling#does the rant portion count as a slight vent??? idk#where I live kinda sucks lmaoooooooo#I debated not posting this but tbh like#if I get doxxed and die from posting a hatsune miku doodle online I mean whatever man 💀💀💀#yeah but yay Miku#I haven’t drawn her in ages#nobody follows me for this 💀💀💀💀💀#hello Castlevania nation I’m Miku posting rn#uh erm anyway uh
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if i had a nickel for every time one specific fandom i'm in had a fanfic-based scandal which ended up spreading way beyond the fandom itself, pissing off a lot of people and permanently changing something about the functioning of fanfiction website archive of our own, i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's absolutely fucking wild that it happened twice
#just thinking about the fact that the reason ao3 has a tag limit and the reason ao3 was banned in mainlaind china#are both fanfics FROM THE SAME FANDOM.#(yeah i know that the xiao zhan and wang yibo one is more related to cql exclusively but i'll still count it inside mdzs)#...mdzs fandom you'll always be famous. for better or for worse#my posts#v rambles#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#mxtx#cql#chen qing ling#the untamed#ao3#archive of our own#fandom culture#fandom#fanfiction#stww#sexy times with wangxian#(...sorry if i'm bringing back anyone's trauma with that one lmao)#xiao zhan#wang yibo#ao3 banning#this situation will never not be absolutely bizarre to me
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Came across this post on Instagram today and could only think about Feenie and Dahlia (sue me!!!!!!) And needed you guys to know.
#hijacking a nonfandom post#sort of#screenshot from Instagram because I learned this account is inactive/deactivated unfortunately#maybecowboycore#phoenix wright#dahlia hawthorne#blonde bitch... looks to my left looks to my right#god.#phoenix wright the man you are#phoenix kin btw#meeeeee#i am at heart just a girl liker#my one flaw#joke!#my post#ramble#does it count as a ramble if a majority of the text is tags#yeah
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Jonathan’s line about Steve in vol 2 was so…. I don’t know. I mean yeah it straight up confirms that Nancy and Jonathan make fun of Steve behind his back, and like I get that I have never been in Nancy’s situation so obviously it seems more mortifying to me, but I would have felt so guilty in her place. I can’t imagine not shutting Jonathan up if he started shit talking about Steve. Like Steve would have been straight up unmentionable if I was Nancy. Idk.
I get that Duffers don’t treat their characters emotional lives seriously, but like. That’s why Robin being kind to Nancy in s5 despite Nancy’s uh.. well frankly appalling attitude towards Robin, makes zero sense to me. I really wanted Nancy to struggle being in Steve’s group. Not in the “she deserves it bhahaha” way, but like… Steve dumped his friends for her (which was good for him), and her expecting to get the same treatment and meeting Robin instead? Who actively dislikes her and for a good reason? Who is smart and cool and kind? That’s way more interesting than people kissing Nancy’s ass the whole season, while she is actively putting Max’s life in danger. Like, yeah in high school she is the chief editor of the newspaper, and at home she is the eldest sister, and with Jon she makes fun of Steve, and now none of these people are here, but Steve is here and so is his bestie. And Steve is as kind as always, but Robin dislikes her, and it is not just prejudice
Nancy Wheeler you wild girl! She has no guilt lmao She's like yeah steve was dumb and annoying and didn't enable my investigation, and jon goes yep, what an idiot. All while Steve is just like. bumpin around making friends with little nerds haha. Minding his own business blaming himself for the end of their relationship. You're right, it's kinda bonkers because even if we take the stance that Nancy didn't cheat (which I believe she did) like. she still had him as her second choice and as soon as he pushed back a bit and didn't give her the kind of support she wasn't telling him she needed (until talking about exposing the lab in the library where anyone could hear) she jumped ship and ran to Jonathan. Why would she want to talk about Steve? Why wouldn't she want to try to forget he ever existed as anything other than Mike's friend Dustin's older friend? Is that not weird for her?
(i think you might mean s4? but i can work with s5 too haha) It's so much more compelling to me to have Nancy and Robin at odds with each other because Robin is like a little guard chihuahua holding a grudge for Steve. She holds grudges so well let her do it more!! like jesus give him someone in his corner! And also for herself! She got so nervous and tried to explain and defend herself, and Nancy only really started to listen once they got into the hospital. Nancy has a not great plan that puts one of the kids in danger, one of the kids Steve is close to. (Max wrote him a letter!!) I think Robin would really see Steve's people as her people, even if she wasn't personally close to them she'd still feel comfortable around the younger teens because Steve is? Let robin be critical of this plan. Let her call it out or something. Give Nancy someone to push against, it's no fun if there's no resistance! I want Nancy to be the one wanting friendship with Robin, and Robin not being receptive to it. Nancy not having a relationship handed to her would be refreshing and I want to see how she'd try to win Robin's friendship.
Let Robin not want to work with Nancy because she's heard the rumours about how her and Steve ended, even though he only mentioned that he wasn't a good boyfriend ans wasn't what she needed so it didn't work out. Robin saw that one week Steve and Nancy had a fight, and a day later she was ditching with Jonathan? yeah something is fishy there to even the most socially oblivious person. Let Robin know Steve well enough that she knew he at least thought he was telling the truth but that there must have been more. Let Robin decide she was going to do the most cliche best friend thing and not be very nice to the ex that broke her bestie's heart.
ooooh anon what you're saying is so interesting because, yeah. Steve dumped Tommy and Carol for Nancy, and that was good for him, and then Nancy got with Jonathan who doesn't really have any friends in Hawkins. So she's always been her boyfriend's main person of similar age they're close to. But now Steve's got Robin. Who is funny and kind and weird and loyal and smart and sarcastic. Who is obsessed with Steve and who Steve is also obsessed with. And that, from a s5 stancy pov, is so interesting because now Nancy is now competing (in her mind) for her boyfriend/potential bf's attention with his best friend. Like Jonathan was focused on his family, obviously (and this caused strain for them too) but it's not the same socially as a best friend taking priority. Steve would still hold those relationships, because they're good for him and good for the others, and there's zero reason for him to abandon them this time.
I think Nancy would hate it. Like Steve would obviously give her tonnes of attention, but with him having actual close friendships not just with Robin but Dustin and Max (at least) too, she'd still feel like she was bartering for time with him. That is suuuuch a fun potential dynamic between nancy and steve and also nancy and steve's friends.
#findaanswers#Anonymous#I think an interesting thing about Nancy is she absolutely HATES when her romo partner doesn't back up her crazy schemes#we see it in s2 and s3 it's so interesting to me but I don't really see it talked about.#Nancy wheeler I wanna study you like a bug#stranger things#stranger things meta#nancy wheeler#steve harrington#robin buckley#stobin#sorta? yeah I talk about them enough it counts#stancy#I guess. more fail stancy than not but also just potential dynamic#finda's rambles
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