#yeah that's pretty much the gist i suppose

[hood-ex]

Hey! Quick question. What was happening in DC around the time when Dick was part of the bludhaven mob and death stroke nuked the city?

For the life of me I can’t remember what any of the other bat folks were doing or anything.

I just need more outside context in terms of continuity to figure out a better timeline!

War Games, Under the Red Hood, and Infinite Crisis.

Steph died in War Games. Babs left Gotham because she needed space from Bruce and everything else that had happened. After Steph's funeral, Tim and Cass started living/working in Bludhaven. Then Red Hood started becoming a problem for Bruce, and Bruce eventually figured out Jason was back from the dead.

Then Infinite Crisis happened with Chemo dropping on Bludhaven. Tim was called away to help the Teen Titans before Chemo dropped, so he wasn't there for the chaos of all that. Dick was badly hurt during Infinite Crisis and was induced into a coma, and after he recovered, Bruce took him and Tim on a long ass trip.

[afterthelambs]

.

[centrally-unplanned]

Academic History YouTuber Premodernist released video recently on "State Flag" discourse, and flag discourse more wildly, that I thought was pretty good! I agreed with 50% of it. For those who don't know, there is a longstanding movement in the vexillology community to push for more simplified flag designs, and they hate the state flags of the US as their antithesis; a movement that catapulted into the internet mainstream when YouTuber CGPGrey released a video riffing on that debate and grading all the state flag designs.

That video is great by the way (it's hilarious, CGP Grey is just very talented as a performer), and the biggest thing Premodernist is wrong about is that the state flags do suck. But what he gets right is that the so-called "principles" briefly referred to in the video are themselves pretty weak; some are fine but others do not hold up to much scrutiny. The state flags largely suck for the boring reason that they just suck; they are shitty designs and often repeat each other in a domain where "standing out" is the point. Like what the fuck Montana:

This is something a 5th grader whips up in PowerPoint for a class presentation. Helvetica Bold?? "Mandated by law in 1985" yeah I didn't need Wikipedia tell me this decision dates to the 80's.

But that is boring and subjective, right? You can't just say they suck. So you had to make a theory about it - and I won't go into too much detail but it generally boils down to:

Make it simple, "something a child could draw"

Make it "distinct at a distance", since it is a flag you are supposed to see it at a distance

Three colors or fewer

No words on flags

Which I think you can get the philosophy for. These principles, which CGP Grey outlines, actually come from the work of Ted Kaye, who is a big figure in the aforementioned flag reform movement and the focus of most of the video. As part of the original CGP Grey video I just rolled with that, but I did remember him showing Utah's newly designed flag at the end which embodied these principles, and uh:

This is kind of mid? Like it doesn't suck, but it looks like a corporate redesign of a hockey team logo or something. A bit of a red flag (hah) if your front-and-center case is weak.

Anyway this is what Premodernist digs into in the video. The stuff I agreed with the most are the parts where he just ???? at some of these rules. "No finicky bits", a "child must draw it", "distinct at a distance"? None of these actually track for say this one:

A child drawing the US flag does not draw 50 stars and 13 stripes unless they are a budding librarian; you absolutely cannot tell if this flag has 50 stars on it from a distance, and that level of detail is clearly some kind of finicky. Of course your response is "okay sure but still, I can tell what the flag is from a distance, I can't count the 50 stars but I get the gist". But that is true for almost all flags!

It's a fern and a peace pipe and a brown thing and the word "Oklahoma" below it, you absolutely, 100%, will be able to tell what this flag is at a distance. You don't need to count the leaves to get the general shape, and when you think about it, it is actually kind of silly anyone would claim otherwise. There just isn't any need to appreciate the tiny details on a flag to understand whose flag it is. (the only valid critique here is that everything should be bigger - too much dead space)

Not to mention the "see from a distance" thing even being a metric. That isn't how you encounter flags most often today? Maybe in the 19th century on a battlefield that was (and even then you had battle standards), but it isn't now. You see it in textbooks, on your computer screen, as an icon for a football game team, right next to you in a government office. Why privilege distance? You just made that up as a value. 99% of "flag consumption" is not seeing it at a distance.

The "only use ~3 colors thing" is the funniest, you can just argue this with...no? No you don't. You don't. What? No. You can...you can just use more colors? Here is an example from the "manual" Ted Kaye wrote on the subject:

And the 5 bands on the chinese flag are fine! They are not "hard to look at" or whatever. Also, I am screenshotting a tiny corner of a youtube video, this image is like 240p, and I can tell its a dragon - and that isn't even the color point it is trying to make, dude just deviates off into another critique. Meanwhile the Amsterdam flag looks like a traffic warning sign. Chinese flag needs to not have the white stripe connect into the white seal background, that is an error, but otherwise I prefer it.

It is annoying how many of the state flags are a blue banners with a round seal in the middle. That does make them hard to distinguish from each other. But that isn't a problem with seal-on-blue, that is just a collective action problem! Flag-reform-favourite the tricolor can run into this too - here are the flags of the Netherlands and Luxembourg:

Like one of your needs to go home and change, that is ridiculous. Though if you had a complex seal in the middle that might avoid this problem! Funny that.

Even the "no words on a flag" argument, which I am more sympathetic to, doesn't hold up too well because too often you find yourself going "unless it is good" which just isn't a rule. The Iranian flag is the stand-out he mentions:

The middle crest is a stylized rendition of the name Allah, and the cursive lining on the tricolor bands are text as well - God Is Great, 22 times, marking the anniversary date of the Islamic Revolution. Stylistically beautiful, also words on a flag. The state flags just didn't try to do anything artistic.

I think the best point Premodernism mentions is a sort of stylistic unity Kaye & Co are pursuing above all else - everything sacrificed for corporate minimalism. Kaye's book will say it respects history and symbols should be meaningful, but then hates any symbols that require complexity. He singles out Turkmenistan as an ugly flag for example:

And as I said I only 50% disagree sometimes, I do think there is a complexity limit, and this flag goes over it, that is too detailed. Though the main reason this flag is bad is the weird choice to not put the banner at the edge, and have the crescent just...float off center? If it was this:

Two seconds in paint, already better, you can play with it. But anyway, you can say the symbols are too complex, but if you also say you care about historical meaning? Turkmenistan is a nation of traditional semi-nomadic tribes, who populated the Silk Road and made textiles as their ultimate expression of art. These carpet guls are traditional symbols used in those carpets that represent the five major tribes that compose the country. You can't just invent new symbols that have equal meaning to these, right? Like you can try if you want, sure, new symbols become meaningful all the time. But a rule that says "all art from before 1950 is tossed in the dumpster because it wouldn't pass muster as a Pepsi logo" is a weird rule to adopt if you say you value historical meaning. Turkmenistan does not have to look like France, and it is weird to want every national symbol to be aesthetically coherent to each other. Let 100 flags bloom! It is certainly "distinct at a distance" lol.

Anyway that is enough summarizing of a YouTube video - as I mentioned, he actually likes the state flags, I don't, I do think you have to balance a lot of this with just "general design principles". Never have your name on a flag in Helvetica Bold, amazing I had to write that one down for you. But a lot of these flag-specific rules derived from Kaye's work I often see bandied about are silly, and I was glad to see someone point that out.

[just-antithings]

A while back I saw in the news an article discussing how adults (primarily school teachers and parents and other people likewise responsible for children) should discuss porn with preteens and teenagers, and like. there wasn't really anything worth mentioning as for its contents, it was pretty much just saying that the best way is to be matter-of-fact and discuss it as a media genre among others, with a certain intended audience and the goal of evoking certain kinds of response in the audience just as much as an action movie or whatever does, and how getting embarrassed or angry or otherwise acting like it's a huge taboo is going to be at best unhelpful and at worst outright harmful. (There was some further stuff about addressing it with different age groups, taking into account the individual kids' response, etc, but that was the gist of it)

And it was genuinely just such a breath of fresh air to read it and be reminded that like, yeah, most people outside very specific insular internet circles are capable of being normal about the existence of porn and and the fact that kids may find and watch/read porn before they're technically supposed to

.

[reareaotaku]

Jealous/Yandere! Stanley Barber Headcanons

He hates the feeling so much

Like, he's happy that you're happy, but he wishes you were happy with him

He's used to the depressing feeling, but that doesn't mean he likes you

He just watches you, feeling like shit

He knows you don't owe him anything, but god he loves you so much

Why don't you see it? Are you playing with his feelings?

It sure feels that way

He'll do anything for you. Practically drops everything for you, but sometimes he feels like you wouldn't do the same

He listens to all of your problems and rants. He doesn't mind. In fact, he loves to listen to you talk

He loves laying in bed, feeling your body close to his as you rant about something stupid/ whatever it is you want to talk about

He gives you this loving look and has this stupid smile on his face

You occupy every part of his mind

He gets really giddy around you and he can't help wanting to do whatever it is to make you happy/smile

Loves doing karoke/singing with you

It doesn't matter if you sing terribly. He doesn't care, he still loves hearing it

You never have to be embarrassed around you, because he's definitely more embarrassed

Like, say someone embarrassed you in class or you got called on without knowing the answer [You get the gist], he'll take attention off of you by doing something stupid so that people will laugh at him instead of you

He doesn't get it when you have insecurities, because he loves you so much it hurts his heart

What do you mean you don't like your body? He thinks you're the hottest thing on the planet

Don't like the way you talk?? He can listen to you all day [etc etc]

If you ever have an argument with your parent[s], then you can always rant to him about it

Even if you're in the wrong, he's on your side and adamantly defending you

You can say that the grass is blue and he'll be like 'Yeah, looks pretty blue to me'

But, back to the parent thing, he doesn't have a good relationship with his dad, so he completely understands fighting with a parent

He really wants to ask you out, but he's scared that you'll not only reject him, but it'll ruin your friendship. He'd rather die than lose your friendship

He's pretty in denial about his feelings. Like he knows he's in love with you, but if someone calls him out on it, he rolls his eyes while shaking his head, adamantly denying it, but nobodies buying it [Expect you]

"You don't like me?" You'll ask, trying not to cry

Something inside him breaks when seeing you tear up. He doesn't want you to cry- Especially if HE's the reason you're crying

"Of course I like you!"

"Then why did you laugh and roll your eyes?"

He's at a loss for words. What is he supposed to say? 'Oh, yes Y/n. I am so in love with you that I would throw my whole life away and run across the country and start a new life with you if you asked because I love you more than the need to breath'. No, he can't say that. He'll just tell you it's complicated

[cherrygorilla]

Ok, so you may or may not have inspired me with your Outsiders post to interrupt my usually sparse story post schedule and indulge in my own obsession with a certain musical. And as chaotic and random as it sounds, I promise it is good haha. But even if you disagree, please just let me vent and get all this out of my brain so that I can go back to writing the next part of TMM 😂

Alright, I've loved Starlight Express ever since I saw it when I was around... 7 or 8, maybe? It used to be my favourite show for years, and (fun fact) it was actually how I found out about fanfiction haha. I never wrote anything properly for the show, just like one or two pages in a random notebook when I was, idk 11 ? But it was around that time that TBM then came out, which I was obviously more drawn to writing-wise - I suppose because it gave me more freedom with stories and characters, since this show is just...you know...about trains lol.

And from the few times I've mentioned it before, I know it probably sounds insane, but if you just suspend your disbelief and accept it for what it is (a bunch of trains singing and falling in love), it is a lot of fun hahaha. I like to think of it like a mix between Cats and Cinderella, but the basic gist of the story, so you can have at least somewhat of an idea of what's going on lol, is that Control (a little kid - I don't think they have a name, they're literally just known as Control) sneaks out of bed one night to hold this big race between all his toy trains to find out who is the best - so the story essentially takes place within his imagination, as all the trains come to life to tell the story. It's like Cats in the regard that most of the first act is everyone kind of introducing themselves in turn. There's Greaseball, the champion diesel train, Rusty, the little steam engine who wants to race with the big trains, and Electra, the electric engine of the future - and a bunch of other trains and coaches, but I won't bore you with all that (just yet 😉). So, to cut a long story short, it's basically a big competition between those three main trains to see who's fastest, with Rusty being the obvious underdog, and hence the centre of the Cinderella story element.

The plot itself is nothing groundbreaking, and neither are the songs tbh, but it's just such a fun show that I can't help but love it anyway. I mean come on, the whole thing's done on roller skates - that's pretty damn cool! And although I've loved it for years, it had taken quite a backseat for a while, but the recent revival that has recently opened in London has really reignited my obsession with it all over again 😆 Because how do you make my favourite pairing in the whole show even more iconic? ...you turn them into lesbians 😎 Plus the costumes were all reimagined by Gabriella Slade, who did the costumes for Six, and they look SO cool!

Now, a big part of why I loved your Outsiders post so much was all the story ideas/similarities for characters you included, but I can't really do that here because (once again)... they're all trains, and none of them are really that deep or serious anyway. BUT, what I did think might be fun, would be going through who I think each of our characters would be good at playing if they were (for some bizarre reason) to ever put on the show - because I do have some strong opinions about that haha. And, as a little bonus, I have written some little random one-off story snippets that are Starlight Express adjacent that I'll throw in at the end lol - more as a reward for you wading through all my nonsense than anything tbh. But they were fun to write too haha.

So yeah, welcome to the insane workings of my brain - and pull up a chair; this could take a while 😅

Ok, I think the best place to start would be with going through the characters in the show and, like I said, matching them up with potential characters of ours I think would be good at playing them. I'll sort of elaborate on 'why' for each one too to help keep things entertaining from an outside perspective lol - and hopefully to help back up my arguments for each lmao. Because, let's face it, none of our characters have particularly...train-like characteristics. 😂

First up we've got Rusty, who's essentially the show's main character. Most of the conflict in the show centres around him; the 'better' trains all totally disregard him, a lot of the coaches tease him, and although he loves Pearl, she's more interested in the newer, more exciting trains than boring, quiet little Rusty. BUT, as with all Cinderella stories, he comes out on top in the end; he wins the race (I would say spoiler alert, but it's also like...duh 🙄😂) and gets his dream girl. He's a really likeable underdog character throughout the story though, and he does put up a good fight to come out victorious, which I appreciate - he doesn't just lay down and let everyone walk (well, roll 😉) all over him.

Now, who do I think would be good to play Rusty? Well, as I mention later on in the one-shots, and have potentially mentioned elsewhere too, I weirdly feel like Riven would really like the show. Maybe he has some childhood nostalgia linked to it like I do - maybe his dad took him to see it when he was younger since it involves skating? I don't know all the details, but something within me tells me Riven would like this show lmao. And so, in the spin-off scenario where our characters put on this show (which is the one I'll always lead with in these things), I think he'd want to take a leading role in the directing side of it - and probably spear-headed the campaign for putting it on in the first place tbh haha. BUT, I feel like a lot of people at Camp (because yes, I think they'd do this at Camp; I don't know when else they would all want to put on a show like this lmao) would think the whole thing was an insane idea, and wouldn't want anything to do with it (because it kind of is an insane idea). SO, I think that Riven would not only end up directing most of the show, I also think he'd have to step into Rusty's skates - which wouldn't be as daunting as he initially expected since he knows the show so well already. Plus, besides the backstory element, I just think he'd be a really cute Rusty; his auburn hair is perfect for it, he's a quietly determined guy, and he's an experienced skater, so he'd have no trouble taking on such a demanding role in terms of the skating.

So yeah, Riven would be my first pick. BUT, this new revival of the show that's being performed in London is playing Rusty and Pearl (his love interest, who we'll get to in a minute) in a much more innocent, shy way - and it's freaking adorable. And I think if we were leaning into more of that version of the show, Royce would make a brilliant Rusty if Vivien could be his Pearl. I don't know how likely he'd be to take on another leading role after being thrown into Hairspray like he was in your last Camp Wanamaker story, especially one that required him to be on roller skates the entire time, but I think he'd really nail it with that more innocent, down-trodden interpretation of the character.

But if everyone was willingly getting involved in the show, and they wanted to lean more into the old-school portrayal of Rusty and Pearl, that feels a little older, and more heavily romantically driven, then I feel like Miles and Carrie make SO much sense for those parts. The whole 'chasing after a girl you think is out of your league' thing has both Miles and Rusty written all over, and I think Miles would, again, play that fluctuating determination and defeat really well. Plus, I know this doesn't really mean anything, but his struggles for money do parallel Rusty being this rundown, tattered, but persistent little steam train pretty well... 😂

Ok, now we'll move onto Pearl. Pearl is the newest coach in the little kid's collection, and is therefore the most sought-after racing partner (since all the trains need to race with a coach - idk why, it's just part of the story I suppose lol). Sometimes she's a 'first class' coach, sometimes she's an 'observation car', it doesn't really matter - all that matters is that all the trains want to race with her, and although she has a soft spot for Rusty, who has loved her all along, she gets seduced by the flashiness of his competitors, and it takes her almost getting wrecked in the final race for her to see sense. She can be a little naive sometimes, or will sometimes just blatantly play the field (depending on how you play her), but her heart is always in the right place, which is what still makes her so likeable.

Again, for Pearl I've got multiple options for who could play her, but I'll start with Juliet. The new all-white version of Pearl's costume that they use in the current Bochum production just screams Juliet to me: that sleek sophistication and quiet confidence, but also a touch of flirty, girly charm is so her! And I think she'd make a great leading lady - which is why she's my pick for that spin-off scenario version of the show. Pearl has some great songs, which would be perfect for Juliet to show off more of her voice, with her wanting to be a singer eventually, and with you hinting at Riven and Juliet maybe having a little bit of a fling or something in your last STDP post, having them play the two leads here seems like a perfect fit for them! Rusty thinking Pearl's way out of his league, but Pearl falling for his kindness and good heart anyway - that just screams Riven and Juliet to me! Pearl also has a strong sisterhood-type friendship with the other coaches, which I think really works for Juliet too. And Pearl does try to stand up for what she thinks is right when the bigger trains start taking the competition a little too far - so I think Juliet could bring a great deal of her own strength to her portrayal of the character as well.

Now, my second choice for Pearl, links with the second choice for Rusty above, which is, obviously Vivien. I feel like the new London revival Pearl was MADE for Vivien to play; the whole space-y vibes of the show, the fact that they made her purple, and the fact that they made her this happy little ball of excitement, with a touch more innocence than previous Pearls - she's perfect for Vivien. And the awkwardly adorable, friends-to-lovers arc Rusty and Pearl have in this new revival was practically written for Royce and Vivien lmao - I just think they'd be able to play them brilliantly. And again, like with Juliet, I think Vivien's fiestiness would allow her to bring a lot of strength and determination to Pearl's character that isn't always there - she can sometimes be played quite airy and 'damsel-in-distress-like', but I think Vivien would really ground her.

And my last choice for the role is Carrie - she's not my favourite pick for the role, and I think she'd be better at other parts (as we'll see in a minute lol), but as I said earlier, if Miles is playing Rusty, I think Carrie would make an amazing Pearl opposite him. Their dynamic just fits them so well - Miles pining for her but not feeling like he's good enough, Carrie being blinded to her true feelings by other options (in this situation I feel like Eric would make a great Greaseball lol) but coming around in the end - it's just perfect! And, I truly believe that the song Pearl sings in the original London production, Only He, can only be bodied in the way it deserves to be bodied by my girl Carrie haha. I'm not a big fan of Next Time You Fall In Love, but I do quite like I Do (the replacement options for Only He), and I think Juliet and Vivien would do great renditions of them, but there's just something about the thought of Carrie singing that song that just makes so much sense. I've got an idea for her to sing it in a legitimate story too (that's how obsessed with that song I am lmao), probably linked to the heartache referenced in the little drabble I'll post below, but I feel like she needs to sing it for an actual audience too haha. It's just such a beautiful, powerful, swelling theatre ballad - she'd kill it!!

Alright, now we're getting to the good stuff. This is Greaseball: arguably the main antagonist of the show because, although most of the characters rag on Rusty, a lot of them do so to show their support for Greaseball. They're the reigning, undefeated champion when it comes to the races, so they have quite the ego on them. They're brash, and cocky, and a little brute-ish, but they're also incredibly competitive, which often gets in the way of their better judgement, resulting in a total disregard for everyone else (including their undeservingly loyal girl, Dinah). They're a total showboat and narcissist, but they do have a dopey, lovable side that Dinah helps to bring out towards the end of the show, which does help redeem them haha.

Now, there are two ways that Greaseball can be played: the traditional way, or the new way. For the traditional way (the sort of wannabe-Elvis, old school rockstar portrayal), Butchy feels like an obvious pick. And although I don't think he's anything like Greaseball's character, you know if he had to play him he'd take to the greaser caricature like a duck to water lmao. Plus, if Mick was playing Dinah (which, you'll see in a bit, I think works perfectly for her), they'd make an adorable duo in the show, and I think they'd have a lot of fun hamming up the roles to make them even more ridiculously cartoonish. And if Mick was his Dinah, I think Butchy would do the whole 'crawling back to her with his tail between his legs' schtick soooo well - he'd just melt into a puddle for her the second he apologised for being such a brute haha. The only thing that's holding me back with Butchy is that I don't know how good he'd be at being so mean to his friends - especially if someone like Miles or Royce was playing Rusty haha; he's just too nice! Plus, I don't know how well he could roller skate lmaoo.

OR, the other way Greaseball can be played is like how they've done it in the new London revival of the show: by making her into a fiesty little lesbian. And this is the role I feel like Carrie could really excel at. I just think she'd have sooo much fun with all the showboating and playing up the bravado. It's so different to anything else she's played before that I think she'd have a great time getting to try it out too - and I think she'd really enjoy getting to lean into playing a villain as well. I'm just obsessed with everything about the London revival Greaseball - her costume is so cool, her attitude is so iconic, the way she's adapted the character I just, uh- it's brilliant! And as cool as it could be to try out a male Dinah by getting Miles into some frilly gingham (lol), I think having either Juliet or Mick be her Dinah would work really well. I'll get into why I think Juliet would be a perfect Dinah later, but her dynamic with Carrie if they were to take on these roles would just be perfect; Juliet's mild scolding of Carrie's bruteish behaviour, but her unwavering loyalty regardless, Carrie's brushing off of her affection for the sake of winning, but then realising she didn't know how good she had it with Juliet by the end - aaaah, I love them. But for the spin-off scenario, where Juliet would be playing Pearl, my pick for Dinah would have been Mick - again, I'll elaborate more on why that works so well for her in a bit, but there's something about Mick and Carrie being paired up romantically like this that just entertains me so much, and low-key kind of intrigues me too haha. In my head, the way it would have played out was that they'd approached Butchy with the offer for the role first, hoping that if they also offered Mick to be his love interest, he'd be more likely to accept it. But after he dismissed it so blatantly, and they couldn't get anyone else to convincingly fit the role, Carrie was called upon to take his place - and to get back at Butchy for not even considering the part, Mick decides to take the Dinah role anyway, but doesn't tell him. Because imagine his face when he realises that this role they'd said couldn't be played by anyone but him was not only being played by Carrie, of all people, but that his wife was playing her love interest (and was practically throwing herself at Carrie the whole show)! They'd have so much fun torturing him with it, I just know it haha. And omg Carrie would have a whale of a time with Pumping Iron lmao. Plus, her skating skills can finally come in handy for something lol; she'd be throwing in all the tricks.

Alright, so here's where I started grouping people together because I realised I was rambling far too much about the rest lol. As cool of a character as Electra is concept-wise, I don't think I can talk about them in that much depth haha - they're just not one of my favourites! I don't feel like they have that big of an impact on the story tbh; it feels mostly Rusty/Greaseball centred to me, but it's nice to give Greaseball a bit of real competition in the races I guess haha. Their futuristic, diva-ish vibe is really interesting though, and the fact they have their own entourage is pretty iconic too. But with that all being said, I just don't think there's any of our characters that really fit their archetype, even just in terms of who'd be best at playing them - especially males, since that's what Electra has typically been played as (even though they're nonbinary in the new London revival). I thought it might have been fun to get Donny to play them in the spin-off scenario, because I like to think he's a good enough actor to pull off any role haha - and like with Carrie and Greaseball, I think he'd have a lot of fun with doing something totally different to any of his other roles. I don't quite know how it would come about that he'd ever get involved in an amateur production like this, but in my head I thought it would be cute if, besides Carrie's constant begging and pestering about how they don't have enough people to fill out the cast, he's swayed by the fact that his son's in his 'train' phase at the moment - and so he agrees purely for shits and giggles and getting to make his son excited hahaha. Plus, I think he and Carrie would have a lot of fun getting to play rivals for once instead of lovers lol. And I just know they'd really lean into the comedic side of One Rock 'N' Roll Too Many. But besides Donny, I really have no other good picks. I thought if it was maybe the situation where Butchy was playing Greaseball they could do a female Electra and cast Carrie - because she'd do a fabulous job at selling the glitzy, diva vibes and overall over-the-top dramaticness of the character, and a female Electra would be incredible - but like with Pearl, it's just not my favourite pick for her. More out of necessity than anything haha - although it would be perfect to have Butchy and Carrie playing enemies like that lol.

And then the second one on this list is Poppa/Momma McCoy, who's an old steam engine that takes part in one of the races to help encourage Rusty and prove that steam trains aren't outdated after all. The role has been played by both male and female actors, but it tends to lean more female lately. And whilst I'm sure Grandpa George would happily help the kids out with their show, I have much stronger feelings on different female characters taking on the role.

Firstly, how iconic could it be if Nonna Dawn surprised everyone who wasn't helping out with the show by rolling out to sing Momma's (Poppa's) Blues?? Because that's my main pick for the spin-off scenario and I feel like Viv's face would just be a picture lmaoo. She helped out quite a bit with the stuff in the playhouse in Camp Wanamaker too, so she obviously likes theatre, and she just has that kind of fun, mischievous charm about her, so I feel like when Riven and Carrie would approach her with the idea, she'd love it - especially with that added element of surprise for the audience. And the whole mentor/advice-giver role Momma takes on in the show would work perfectly for Dawn; she's like the embodiment of the voice of reason haha.

My second pick, if you wanted to play Momma a little younger, like the London revival has done (with her playing both Control's mum, and Momma), would be Charlie, because she took a big role in helping out at the playhouse in Camp Wanamaker, and obviously cares a lot about theatre. And she has a really close relationship to Carrie and Riven, so I feel like they'd be able to talk her around to taking part eventually. My only thing holding me back is that part of my feels as though she'd want nothing to do with the production because she'd be too scared someone was gonna get hurt since the whole thing's done on rollerskates - her pseudo-motherly instincts couldn't cope with the stress lmaooo. And if it's in the spin-off scenario, where in my head Vivien's organising a rival production (probably of The Outsiders since you're enjoying it so much atm haha), I feel like Vivien would have already snagged her to help with directing on her project.

And my last potential pick for Momma, in an AU version, and one where Royce or Miles was Rusty, would, of course, be Mrs Murphy. I don't know how she would have done with performing, but Momma obviously takes on a motherly role to Rusty, and the freight/fuel trucks too - so Mrs Murphy taking on that role opposite one of her actual sons, and helping to give them the confidence they need to succeed, just makes so much sense to me! Pretty unlikely scenario, but a fun one to consider nonetheless haha.

Ooh ok, more of my faves again haha. Dinah used to be my all-time favourite growing up, so I have lots of opinions about her. But basically, she's another of the 4 coaches (along with Pearl), and her main role in the show is that she's Greaseball's racing partner (and therefore, essentially also their romantic partner). They have a kind of strained relationship most of the show, because Dinah's totally head-over-wheels (😉) for Greaseball, but Greaseball's also being fawned over by pretty much every other coach, and is reluctant to give in to Dinah's affection for fear of showing any weakness to their opponents - so they can be pretty mean sometimes. BUT, they do have a really cute moment when Greaseball loses in the end and goes back to Dinah to apologise, realising that they still love each other without all the glory of being champions.

She's a pretty confident character though, and is good at standing up for herself when she doesn't think something's right - but she's still able to show her softer, more vulnerable side, which makes her a really well-rounded character imo. There are a few good options for who I'd want to play her though, and although I mention later that Carrie would be a good Dinah, I only think she'd really get cast in the role if she it was an externally produced show, since she only ever lands secondary parts haha. I think she'd be a great Dinah, don't get me wrong, but I just think that if all our characters were in the show, there are better choices for her.

My first one, as mentioned earlier, would be Mick. The brunette hairstyle she's been given lately, as opposed to the blonde, works for Mick so well, and with red being her favourite colour, taking the red from the new London costume but applying it to the more traditional gingham style - aaaah, she'd look adorable. Plus, like I said above, having her play this role opposite Butchy just makes so much sense - but, having her play it opposite Carrie (like she would in my spin-off scenario) would be brilliant. I just think they'd have so much fun with it, especially knowing how weird it would make Butchy feel watching them together, and oddly, I feel like it would help their friendship grow even stronger😂 It's just such an iconic pairing, and I really think they'd do it justice. I think she'd make a really strong-willed Dinah, and as unsteady as I think she'd be on roller skates at first, I think that'd make everyone all the more impressed when they saw her racing and dancing around with everyone else haha - Riven and Carrie would work their magic with teaching her.

And with Dinah being typically played as a sort of 'Southern Belle' type, the obvious pick for Dinah, and one that also makes a ton of sense to me, would, of course, be Juliet. And if she wasn't playing Pearl, this is definitely who I'd have her play. I think she'd be able to lean into the more sensitive, emotional side of Dinah, whilst also keeping a bit of the strength that Mick would bring to her - and you just know that if Carrie was her Greaseball they'd be in their element playing lesbain lovers 👀😂 They'd peak here, I feel. This and Maureen and Joanne in Rent - they'd be untouchable.

I didn't even know whether to include CB in this or not since he's been taken out and put back into the show so many times, but I reference him in one of the one-shots so I thought it was best to. Basically, he's a caboose coach that, in the second act, reveals that he's got a little evil streak behind his oh-so innocent appearance, and that he's actually notorious for wrecking the trains he races behind. So, (although I don't think it's ever actually explained why lol) he teams up with Greaseball and Electra to trick Rusty into racing with him, only to try wrecking him in the big final race. Naturally, it doesn't work, but hey, he acts as a zany little extra antagonist, which I'm never going to complain about haha. 

Like I mention later on, I think Riven would feel kind of drawn to this role - especially because of the softer side we see with him when he comforts Dinah after Greaseball ditches her (for being too moral for their dirty racing tactics lol). Plus, there's that 'red' motif again that would work with his auburn hair - and I think he'd be able to play that coolly sly, kind of crazily sadistic twist well because of how chill he is normally. That switch would be so jarring! But, perhaps an even more jarring option, I think Bentley could also do this part really well. He'd be the perfect, innocent mask to begin with because he's so little and smiley - but then I think he'd have a lot of fun getting to flip that on its head and be the complete antithesis of his usual ball of sunshine personality to be a little crazy criminal instead. Obviously he's nothing like that normally, but acting-wise, if he felt confident enough with it, I think he could really do it justice! And it'd make an even cooler contrast if one of his brothers was playing Rusty; that betrayal would be even harsher!

Alright, now onto the coaches. Let's try to speed through these because I already know I've wasted far too much of your time lmao. If you're still reading at this point, I'm actually pretty impressed 😂 The coaches have changed a bunch over the years, mostly for things going out of fashion (*cough cough* Ashley the smoking car lol) - but the current ones in the London revival are Belle the sleeping car and Tassita the quiet coach. Since these are smaller, more generic parts, I don't really have as much to say about them. But, for Belle I thought that Jade might be a good pick, because I know she can sing since she's in Riven's band, and idk, maybe she naps a lot? 😂 Either way, even though she's said before that she can't act to save her life, I don't think she'd have to act a great deal in this role - but she can sing and skate, and that's enough to give her the confidence to agree to help out in my book haha. And for Tassita, who's the first coach to ever be played by a male performer, which is pretty cool, I thought August might be a fun pick - you know, because he's such a quiet guy himself lol. Besides that though, I've always thought he'd be a good performer (he was originally going to have a part on Find Your Voice after all), and although, like Jade, I don't think he'd have a great deal of confidence at first - especially in a role that still appears quite feminine when he's not totally secure about his sexuality - but I think they'd be able to tweak both the part and the costume until it was something he'd feel comfortable doing. And once he started working on it, I think it'd be really good at bringing him out of his shell! Plus, I like to think he's got a really good voice hidden behind all that shyness - so this is an excuse to finally bring it out into the open hehe. 

Other coaches that could be worked in from other productions are Buffy the buffet car, Duvet the sleeper car (an alternate to Belle), Carrie the luggage car (what a coincidence lol), or, the original Belle the sleeping car, from the original London production way back in the 80s. Belle didn't really do a great deal plot-wise besides help motivate Rusty, and Dinah and the rest of the coaches in the second act when they're ditched by the trains they race with (please, Starlight Express producers, bring back the Rolling Stock reprise; it's iconic lmao) - but if for some reason they wanted to use her in the show, I think Charlie would be a great pick for her. She'd give her all the old-school glamour and girl-power she deserves haha. And I think she'd look iconic in that red costume. 

Finally, my last category: the freight/fuel trucks. Well, actually just the fuel trucks. I thought about including the freight trucks too, but tbh, I don't really have any strong opinions on any of them, and this post is already far too long, so I just left them out lol. But, like the coaches, the fuel trucks are just more racing partner options for the trains. Some have bigger parts than others, but their main purpose is providing fuel (shocking, I know ha). They're new to the London revival though, and tbh I like them more than the freight trucks; they feel more central to the plot - even if it did make the song Freight significantly worse lmao.

And speaking of central to the plot, Hydra, the hydrogen fuel truck is the new reason why Rusty wins the final race (because before it didn't really make that much sense tbh lmao); he's now powered by hydrogen steam, which gives him the advantage over his opponents. And throughout the show, despite the other fuel trucks ragging on Hydra for being too new and dangerous in comparison to their more reliable fuel sources, he ignores them and stands by his belief in his fuel. The only pick in my mind for Hydra because of this though is Ethan - and although I have no idea if he'd ever have any remote interest in acting, especially in a musical theatre production, you know he's so loyal to his friends he'd do anything to help them out if they asked. And, I think he'd just think the idea was so weird he'd be down to participate just for the hell of it lol. But Hydra's way of not caring what anyone else thinks of him, and sticking to his own beliefs, is so Ethan to me - plus, they just have that same, chilled, laid back vibe. And, naturally, they both have that kind of green motif 😉🍃 So yeah, for me, Ethan has to be Hydra - and no matter who's playing Rusty, I feel like he'd vibe enough with all of them for him to jump at the chance to help them out like Hydra helps Rusty in the show. And it'd finally give him an excuse to use those roller skating skills I know he's hiding somewhere despite his usually terrible clumsiness ha. 

For Porter (the red coal truck) I think Zack could maybe play him? Not completely sold on that idea because I don't think he'd really vibe with musicals, but if August roped him into helping out I think he'd begrudgingly agree - and Porter basically does nothing anyway, so he couldn't really complain lol. And for Lumber (the blue timber truck) I picked Erica - not only because her blue hair would look sick with an all-blue costume like that, but also because the thought of Jade and Erica flirting as their characters during the little bickering section between the coaches and the fuel trucks in the song Freight had me weak at the knees. So if they were both in it, their characters would 100% be in love, no questions asked - I need flirty trucks and coaches hahaha. 

So then the final role I'm passionate about is Slick, the oil truck, which is the new London revival's answer to CB, since she not only takes on his main song, but also the whole concept of wanting to race with Rusty to wreck him and help out the competition. This revival also gives her a monetary aim though, which is good for giving her more of a motive, I suppose. I don't really know how trains are supposed to use money, but it's at least a reason, which is more than we had before lmao. I think Abby would be such a good pick for Slick though - I'd want to make her a little more girly, giving her some different hair (like my little reference picture, or maybe something like some fun bubble braids or something - like oil bubbles 👀) and a more feminine costume - but I think having a pretty important role like that would help bring out her confidence with performing a lot, without totally throwing her out of her comfort one with a big main role. I think she'd like the added challenge and fun that the villainous twist Slick has would bring though; it'd give her something a bit different to play with. And with Slick's colour palette mirroring Greaseball's, and her being an oil truck, makes me thing that Abby would really want to lean into making Slick a little Greaseball fangirl, who is constantly looking up to her and wanting to impress her (and hence giving her even more motivation to wreck Rusty and help Greaseball win the race) - which I think would also nicely mirror how much Abby would look up to Carrie (an established actress already) if they were to ever meet. I just think it works really well for her, and I love how the show's leaning more into mixing the genders of the coaches and the freight trucks - even if the costumes are still leaning more feminine and masculine respectively, I think our characters would have more fun tailoring them to each performer's preferences. Because come on, Abby being a pretty girly, but still menacing, little secondary villain would be so cool - she needs to let her rebellious side shine!

Excuse the TMM spacer lol, I'm too lazy to go make a new one lmao. Anyway, if you made it through all that, you really are a true friend haha - because that was soooo much insane rambling. But, I do feel better for dumping it out of my mind and onto a page. Maybe now I can finally stop obsessing over it and get back to writing the stories I should be working on. But hopefully this was a little fun post to switch things up a bit! And hopefully you at least liked it half as much as I enjoyed your Outsiders post haha. If, for some bizarre reason, you actually are interested in the show, then just let me know because I have a slime tutorial (*wink wink*) of the new revival I'd happily send you the link to, because I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. But even if not, like I said, this was just a bit of silly fun to give all these ideas a home. It's not a complex show, and it doesn't have particularly elevated songs or characters, but the orchestrations are clever, the costumes and theatrics are amazing, and it's all done on roller skates - so it'll always have a special, fun spot in my heart hehe. I've linked a video of the megamix at the end of the new London revival for you to get a bit of a vibe of what the show's like without having to watch the whole thing too if you want hehe - at least this way you can see some of the skating and costumes in action! And, as promised, as a reward for sitting through the insanity of this post, here are two little drabbles with our characters as a reward.

The first centres around the song There's Me, and a pairing I think works particularly well for it, that I'm dying to see/write more of - it's also plucked out of that Camp Wanamaker spin-off I wanted to do that I'm not sure will ever materialise. But consider this a sneak peek into what would have gone down lol. And the second is a litle bit of what the chaos the concept of Riven and Vivien putting on rivalling productions would have brought about haha. For context, I think although Riven would have bagged Carrie for his show straight away, Vivien would have furiously retaliated by claiming everyone else in their cabin for hers - hence the competitiveness that ensues. Enjoy! Hopefully they're not too weird to not still be enjoyable anyway 😅😂

The dusty deck creaked as a scuffed, black Converse nudged into her periphery. But her eyes never left the lake - as grey as the thick blanket of clouds overhead, and as bleak as her outlook. 

"The laundry house, really?" the voice demanded, pausing to give the girl a chance to explain herself. 

She did not. 

Sighing, the guest realised this was going to be harder than he expected. After all, he wasn't used to her being this…subdued. "You know, I just think it's a testament to our friendship that I was the only one who knew to look for you here," he offered with a playful smile…that went completely unnoticed. Frowning as the girl continued to ignore his very existence, he let out another sigh, this one as he lowered himself down and took up the space beside her, nudging the sole of her now off-white sneaker with his knee to draw her out of her thoughts. "Come on, Carrie. I'm trying here," he said. But when he leant forwards to try to get a clearer look at her face, and found her cheeks marred with glistening tracks in her foundation, and her puffy eyes speckled with remnants of her mascara, his frustration waned. "You can't hide from them forever," he gently added.

"I want to," Carrie murmured.

"You don't mean that," he tried.

"I do; at least that way I wouldn't be able to fuck things up any more than I already have," she limply insisted.

"You didn't-"

"Don't give me that, Riven; I know I did," Carrie said, cutting him off with an exasperated huff. "I shouldn't have done it, I shouldn't have yelled at them like that. But I was just in such a bad mood after that class, and I was so fed up with everything, so then to come back to all that I just…"

"...Let all those years of bottled up frustration out?" Riven offered.

"Something like that," Carrie mumbled, dropping her gaze to her lap, knowing that if she actually made eye contact with the boy her resolve would start to crumble in an instant. 

"Hmm," he began, murmuring his understanding as he took his turn to look out across the lake. "I heard it wasn't pretty."

Although Riven was no longer looking at her, he saw her dark blonde curls trembling out of the corner of his eye as she shook her head.

"I'm so embarrassed," she admitted, voice barely above a whisper. A fresh tear plopped onto her thigh as she kept her watery gaze steady, praying she'd be able to get a handle on her waterworks for once. "They hate me for sure now."

"They never hated you, Carrie," Riven promised, turning back to her again as though it would persuade her to believe him. 

But Carrie proved to be as stubborn as ever, completely bypassing the comment with a mournful smile she still couldn't bring herself to lift from the floor. "All that time I spent trying to win them over…down the drain, all because I had a shit day and lost my cool."

"I don't know, I'd still say you're pretty cool," Riven tried with a playful lopsided grin, bumping her shoulder until she turned to see it for herself.

When she did finally turn to face him though, it was with that flat, annoyed frown that always just egged him on more. "This isn't a joke," she grumbled, but Riven's little chuckle said otherwise. 

"I'm not saying it is," he countered. "I'm just letting you know it's gonna take a hell of a lot more than one dumb argument for me to stop thinking you're cool. Come on, you're Caroline Cole: entertainer extraordinaire-"

"Why are you doing this?" Carrie stopped his playful bolstering in its tracks with a weary sigh.

"Because I want to," Riven said, standing firm in his optimism. "Come on, I hate seeing you like this," he pressed on fitfully, uneasy with her uncharacteristic despondency. She was usually the life and soul of the party in that playhouse, now she had all the energy of a wet paper towel. Hoping to distract her with a little healthy competition, he added, "We should be out there crushing Erica's cabin at volleyball right now."

"Well forgive me, but I'm not really in the mood," Carrie flatly retorted.

"What are you in the mood for?" he challenged, with a primarily jovial tone, but a hint of creeping frustration. "Moping about like a kicked puppy?"

"Yes, actually," she snipped. "Hate to be the bearer of bad news but I can't be the 'smiling showgirl' 24/7…" Her frown twitched into the faintest of wistful smiles as her voice trailed off, carrying her focus back into the turmoil unfolding within her own head. "I'm allowed to have emotions, I'm just not allowed to show them," she went on to explain with a quiet, self-loathing huff. "'Cause that's when things always turn to shit."

All Riven's teasing intent slipped away, seeping into the damp wood beneath them, as it began to dawn on him that there may have been more to her dramatic disappearance than what he'd initially thought. "...This is about more than just you yelling at the boys, isn't it?" he slowly asked, treading carefully, as though to not set off a bomb.

And yet, Carrie dropped one on him anyway.  

"I think Miles and I are gonna break up, Riv."

The words hung in the muggy air between them, not daring to be believed.

Stunned, hazel eyes settled on Carrie's profile, unable to tear themselves away until she explained herself. So, she began to talk. Slowly but surely, she unravelled the tangle of thoughts in her head, laying them out before her friend, praying that his sensible, perceptive mind could help her make sense of them. "It's just…not felt right this summer. It's like he's…pulling away, or something," she started, still avoiding eye contact at all costs. At least that way she could keep a handle on her tears, even if her mouth did start to run away from her instead. "And the arguing with Royce never helps, but it's just been getting worse instead of better and I can tell he's getting frustrated with it, but I'm trying and nothing's working and I don't understand why and that's making me frustrated, which makes the bickering worse, I just-" She stopped to snatch a breath, only to blow out all her remaining self-confidence with it. "I feel like I've got no fight left anymore. I can't see it getting better. And when I know Miles would always side with his brothers, and everyone else would side with him if things went south… I don't know, it just kind of stings, I guess; one wrong move and I lose them all. No matter what I do, I'd still be left out on my own."

"Don't lump me in with that."

Startled, Carrie lost her focus and turned to the boy; she'd been so lost in her own thoughts she'd forgotten she wasn't alone anymore. But even when she searched his expression, his comment still made no sense. "What do you mean?"

"Well don't say I'd never speak to you again if things with you and Miles didn't work out," he explained as though it was the simplest thing in the world. "Which they totally will by the way, but that's beside the point," he tacked on as that playful chuckle of his started creeping back into his voice. "Of course I'd still speak to you; you can't get rid of me that easily."

"Really?" Carrie asked, wary despite the hopeful glint in her ocean eyes. 

"Yes, really, idiot," he snorted. "I'm not just friends with you 'cause you're dating Miles, you're my drama buddy," he went on to explain with a grin holding nothing but fond sincerity. "You're the only one that keeps me sane in that playhouse, and even then you're so ridiculous I can only take you seriously like 60% of the time. Plus, I did see you naked that one time-"

"I was not- it was just my top."

The frustrated tone shining through in the way she had cut him off, and the way she had hurriedly returned to avoiding his gaze, struck Riven down. "Oh my god, you didn't even laugh at the bikini story. This really is bad," he said - again, half-joking, half-genuinely-concerned. Reaching behind him, his fingers closed around glossy wood as a teasing smile started to tug at his lips. "I didn't want it to have to come to this…"

Hearing fingers start plucking at guitar strings, Carrie's bewildered frown deepened as she turned back to him. "What are you doing?"

"I can't help it, you've left me no choice," he chuckled, cheesily grinning back at her and continuing to lazily pluck out a melody. "I'm not leaving until I've cheered you up - even if that means resorting to music."

"Come on, Riv," Carrie wearily groaned, not nearly as amused by the offer as he'd hoped she would be. "Stop, I'm not in the mood. Can't you just leave me alone?"

The plucking stopped and Riven sat the guitar fully back in his lap, his own brows now starting to furrow. "They really got you this time, huh?"

Carrie sighed as she dropped her gaze to her lap again. "I don't like to show it normally 'cause I know they don't always mean it, they just want to get a rise out of me," she slowly confessed. "But it was…different last night. It's felt different since we arrived."

"I really thought you guys were getting somewhere," Riven softly mused, just as perplexed by the sudden nosedive in amiability as the others in the cabin.

"So did I," Carrie agreed, smiling painfully down at a knot in the wood. A million things she wanted to say swirled in her head, but none of her thoughts were quite able to be fit into words - nothing that could make a coherent sentence anyway. She didn't know whether to get mad, and let the rest of her pent up anger spill across the deck until she'd rid herself of it completely. She didn't know whether to just push it to the back of her mind again, put on a brave face and swan back into camp as though nothing was wrong at all. She didn't know whether to stay hidden, avoiding everyone at the cabin and all her problems at the same time. At least that way she wouldn't have to face them again, or have to try to explain herself and her inexcusable temperament to Miles. God, he was probably so mad at her right now. 

More and more thoughts flew through her mind, hitting the walls of her skull like rabid animals until her head pounded and her resolve broke down. Helpless tears started to slip from her eyes as the hopelessness of her position washed over her all over again. She felt a hand on her back that brought her back to her senses in an instant though - having forgotten, yet again, that she wasn't alone out here. She sniffed and hurriedly patted away the tears, trying to salvage what little of her makeup still remained. "Guess I'm not such a heartless bitch after all," she offered, managing a melancholy chuckle at her predicament that, although was an improvement, still did nothing to show Riven that she was feeling more like her usual self. 

In fact, he just felt more concerned than ever. Carrie was strong-willed and stubborn, bold and exuberant - not the shying, insecure, tearful shell of a girl before him. He'd already suspected that her confidence had been knocked this summer thanks to the rather personal disruption at the playhouse, but this was worse than he thought. And he couldn't stand by in good conscience and watch her fire be extinguished. 

Setting his guitar back into position, he began plucking at the strings again. Carrie shot him another questioning look, with a slightly annoyed huff, but he stuck to his guns and kept playing, offering her nothing but a cheesy, comforting grin in response. "Complain all you want," he chuckled. "But I'm not gonna stop playing." 

Although Carrie just rolled her eyes, she did manage a small, resigned laugh as she gave up on the pushback. And soon, to her surprise, lyrics began to accompany his playing - as gentle and reassuring as his own intent.

All alone, you think you're on your own You think there's no one in the world who cares for you That isn't true, there's me May not be, the one you want to see But if you need someone who's kind then look behind And then you'll find, there's me

I'll be near, standing by Never fear, you can cry But in a while, you will smile And I'll be there to see

By yourself you have to cry yourself Nobody else can cry the tears you have to cry But I will try, there's me Until then, when you're okay again You'll look around, find I'm no longer there I'll still be near somewhere You're not alone, there's me There's always me

I'll still be near somewhere You're not alone; there's me There's always me...

The soft, yet cheeky smiles Riven kept shooting the girl as he sang, paired with the meaning behind the words, and the added special meaning to them both, meant that by the time his strumming faded to silence, Carrie was finally grinning back at him. 

"You really came all the way out here to serenade me with a musical theatre song from the 80s?" she asked with a teasing chuckle, wiping away the last traces of any tears with the heel of her hand. 

"It worked, didn't it?" he teasingly fired back with a satisfied smirk. 

"Touché," she giggled, before hitting with a further pointed eyebrow raise. "But Starlight? Really?"

"Again: it worked, didn't it?" he retorted with a snort of laughter she was all too happy to reciprocate.

"You are way too attached to that show," she chuckled, teasingly bumping his arm.

"It's about roller skating trains - how can I not be attached to it?"

"I don't know, ask literally anyone else at camp," Carrie snorted back, referring to the many attempts the pair had made to try to get even just one of their friends to give the show a chance.

Knowing exactly what the blonde was talking about, Riven just shot her a grin. "They'll come around eventually, trust me."

Giving an equally confident, yet slightly more playful grin back, Carrie conceded with another giggle before continuing. "And when they do, I think you've proven you'd make an excellent CB."

Riven pressed a hand to his chest. "I think that might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me," he said with a comically dramatic earnestness that just had Carrie rolling her eyes again.

"Shut up, I compliment you all the time," she retorted, and her smile only broadened when Riven showed no signs of pushing back. "I'm serious though; if you ever manage to convince Nonna you don't need to be sectioned for suggesting we stage the show, I think you'd be great."

Biting back a laugh, Riven instead decided to lead with sincerity. "Only if you'd be my Dinah," he bargained with a fond, yet knowing grin she, again, gladly shared. But it wasn't long before he started rambling again. "But I'd sacrifice that if it meant you could be Pearl…"

With an affectionate shake of her head, Carrie playfully sighed, "I never play the lead - I can't break my streak now, you know that."

Taking his turn to roll his eyes, he retorted with. "Pearl is not the lead; the whole show's about Rusty."

"Ok well maybe you can play Rusty then, Mr Know-It-All," Carrie teasingly fired back as the pair fell back into their typical, theatre-based ramblings - idly chattering away without a care in the world as the wind pulled the clouds across the sky.

It wasn't until Carrie saw the sunlight skittering across the lake, and heard the distant chatter of counsellors start up again, that she realised her head had finally stopped pounding, and her chest no longer felt as though someone had carved a giant hole into it. Astonished, but grateful nonetheless, Carrie turned back to Riven with a smile. "Thanks for coming to find me, Riv."

Grinning contentedly back, he replied, "Well, I don't like thinking of you being sad. You're like my fun, crazy, big sister - I can't have you moping around like a sadsack."

"You really think of me like a sister?"

"Of course. We don't always understand each other, and I tease the shit out of you at every opportunity I get, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. You always make me laugh, you're insanely talented, you give the best advice, but you're honest when you need to be - you're everything I'd want in a big sister. Plus, like I said, you're my drama buddy. The shit we put up with from those campers has bonded us for life, whether you like it or not."

Unable to hold back her laughter any longer, it spilled out from her grateful smile as she reached out and wrapped him in a big hug, nestling her face into the well-worn cotton of his hoodie. 

"And you give great hugs," he playfully added, mumbling through her mane of frizzy, golden curls.

"Thanks, Riv," she murmured between giggles, letting herself melt into the comforting reassurance of his embrace.

"Any time, Care Bear."

Sitting back, scouring his half-finished painting with an acutely analytical gaze, Bentley didn't even hear the door to the art barn open, let alone the footsteps that followed. He squinted his eyes, tilted his head from side to side, screwed up his mouth in concentration… And then his vision went dark.

Blinking, eyelashes brushed against an old t-shirt masquerading as a blindfold. But before he could try to question the ambush, a quiet voice broke through his haze of confusion.

"Alright, listen to what I say, or this is not gonna be pretty."

A chuckle couldn't help but slip from Bentley's lips, immediately relaxing as he recognised the voice. "Is that your attempt at sounding threatening?"

"I was actually trying to be reassuring," August countered with a bashful chuckle of his own.

"Oh, well then consider me reassured," Bentley laughed, still idly toying with his paintbrush. "As reassured as anyone can be when they're randomly blindfolded on a Wednesday afternoon. What are you doing anyway?"

"I need to take you somewhere, so put the brush down and get up - but don't go too fast; I've gotta make sure you don't bump into anything," August ordered, tying the old t-shirt in place before clumsily helping the blonde stand, taking him by the shoulders and leading him towards the door.

"Where the hell are we going?" Bentley asked, after they had navigated the stairs in a (somewhat) successful manner - consisting of only one giggling fit, and one almost-total-collapse - as he felt them move from the wooden deck to the uneven grass. 

"I'm not allowed to tell you, but it's nothing bad, trust me."

"Who's forcing you to kidnap me and parade me across camp like a prisoner?"

"You'll find out in a minute," August chuckled, steering him around a tree stump. "But just know that it's nothing bad."

"Well I'd hope not - I'd hate to think you'd willingly be involved in leading me to my demise," Bentley snorted, before continuing with his idle rambling. "Who's roped you into taking me captive anyway?"

"I don't know if I can say; they didn't give me much briefing, and I don't think they expected you to be this…chatty."

Bentley laughed. "Well then they should have sent a more intimidating kidnapper."

"They didn't want to scare you, they just needed you away from Vivien," August admitted, immediately falling silent for a few steps. "...I don't know if I was supposed to say that."

"Ohhh, ok then, so I'm being taken hostage by the competition?" Bentley chuckled through a smirk as he began to piece the puzzle together.

"...Maybe," August confirmed as he rounded the blonde and started to lead him up a new set of steps from the front to make sure he didn't lose his footing. "But if they ask then you figured it out on your own - you didn't hear it from me."

"Well it's not like I had many options; it was either that or some weird camp event I didn't pay attention to the announcement for," Bentley laughed to himself as he blindly stuck his foot out, almost completely missing the step until August repositioned him. "What do they need me for? Information about how our rehearsals are going? And how are you in cahoots with them anyway? Are you abandoning our show for theirs?"

"What? No, just… Hang on, gimme a second," August fumbled through his excuses, fighting to nudge the door open with his foot before carefully pulling his friend inside. "Alright, we're here. Just sit down and listen to what they've got to say, they'll explain everything," he continued, keeping his voice down as he offered the boy further reassurances he was sure he wasn't supposed to. 

Once Bentley was situated on what felt like a metal fold-out chair, August gave his shoulder one last reassuring squeeze before untying the old t-shirt and lifting it away from his eyes. Oddly though, even with the blindfold removed, Bentley could hardly see a thing; whatever cabin they were in had black-out cloths draped across the windows, leaving the room in complete darkness. Well, at least that explained why it had taken August so long to navigate him across the room. 

"Uhh… Hello?" Bentley tried, calling out into what felt like a completely empty room if the thick silence he was met with was anything to go by.

But before he could question his situation any further, a light sprang to life beside him, so bright he had to jerk his head back to save himself from temporary blindness.

Wincing, he tried to take in his now significantly more illuminated surroundings, only to find that he was sitting at a scuffed, fold-out table, occupying the very lamp that seemed to give off more light than the sun itself. Other than that, the rest of the room was swimming in darkness, creating a rather effective interrogation set-up, which he suspected the masterminds behind his kidnapping had hoped for. 

And speaking of these masterminds, just as the afterimages were finally starting to fade from his vision, a figure rolled out of the darkness and up to the table. Yes, quite literally rolled. 

They set their hands on the tabletop in front of him and presented the boy with a smug smile. "Hello, Bentley."

"What are you doing?" Bentley asked, snorting out a laugh at the surreal nature of the entire situation. 

"We have a…preposition for you," Riven slowly explained, his smug smile only broadening. 

"We?" Bentley questioned. "There are more weirdos than you tied up in this thing?"

Suddenly the lamp head was wrenched back, sending the beam of light directly at his face, once again making him jerk his head back. "And just who do you think you're calling a weirdo?"

Eyes watering from the visual assault, Bentley squinted through the brightness until he found a tanned hand clamped around the lamphead. Following it up, he found an all-too-familiar, shadowed face, framed by a mane of unruly golden curls. "Not you?" Bentley offered with a lopsided smile.

Thankfully, the gesture was enough to appease Carrie, who tilted the lamphead back into position - but not before she shot the boy a satisfied smirk in response. 

"You got any other questions? Or can we get down to business?" Riven asked. 

"Uh, yeah: what's with the kidnapping?" Bentley fired back, sporting an amused smirk of his own. "You so worried you'll lose the bet you're turning to torturing the competition?"

"What? No! We just needed you away from the boss," Riven laughed, his comically threatening act disappearing in seconds as he referenced his pint-sized figure skating partner. "Like I said, we've got a preposition for you."

"Couldn't you have just asked me in the dining hall? Or in my room or something?" Bentley went on to ask, still having to squint from the light.

"Well yeah, but where's the fun in that?" came Riven's snorted reply, to which Carrie just grinned and nodded in agreement.

Bentley shook his head at the pair, evidently equally matched in their passion for dramatising the most menial things. "This is so dumb," he breathed, fighting back a smile at the ridiculousness of their whole set-up. "What do you want then? What's this preposition thing?"

Carrie and Riven exchanged a glance, giving each other a confirmatory nod before turning back to the blonde. "…We need your help."

"With what?"

"With the show," Riven clarified.

"The show? Your show?" Bentley spluttered, eyes darting between the pair, looking for any evidence of jesting, yet finding nothing. "I don't understand," he slowly continued. "Why do you want my help? I've got no idea what I'm doing with all this theatre stuff. I'm out of my depth with Viv's show as it is. Plus, I already agreed to be in her's - I can't help out the competition."

"Why not? I am."

Bentley's ears pricked up as a new voice entered the conversation, and to his amazement, when he turned to follow it, he saw a grinning brunette emerging from the darkness on Carrie's right. 

"Mick?! You jumped ship?" Bentley asked, gawping at the grinning girl as though she'd just grown a second nose. "Does Viv know?"

"No, I didn't jump ship," Mick chuckled as she perched on the edge of the fold-out table. "I'm helping out with both."

"What? Why?"

"'Cause I wanted to," she snorted simply. "It's not like there's rules against it. This whole thing's just for fun anyway."

"Yeah, it's not actually a competition - we just both wanted to put on different shows," Riven added.

"Well could you let Viv know that? She's treating this like we're at war - we've all been sworn to secrecy," Bentley said, chuckling at his friend's competitive spirit.

"Oh we know, we already tried to get Mick to squeal but she wouldn't budge," Carrie said, sharing a knowingly playful glance with the brunette.

"And luckily, they had a cool job for me besides just being their spy," Mick cheekily added. "Or else all the effort it took to brainwash me would have been for nothing."

"Which is…?" Bentley tried.

"I'm building the stage," Mick revealed with a proud grin. 

Bentley's eyes went wide. "You guys need to build your own stage?"

Riven and Carrie shared another knowing smirk. "If we want the show to be as awesome as it deserves to be then yeah, it needs a custom stage," Riven confirmed.

"And since Butchy and Miles refused to even hear us out, Mickie stepped up to the plate to handle it all on her own," Carrie added, looping her arm through the brunette's with a fond grin. "And she's doing a way better job than either of those two bozos would have done anyway." 

"Well, I don't know about that…" Mick said with a roguish chuckle. "But I am doing a pretty damn good job."

"Does this mean you're helping with both shows too?" Bentley then asked, turning behind him to look for the friend who'd brought him here, who could do nothing but offer him a sheepish smile. 

"...Yeah," August slowly admitted, before adding a quieter: "You know I'm terrible at saying 'no' to things."

"So your solution is just doing twice the work?" Bentley asked incredulously, the information just serving more of a purpose to fuel his growing need to help August grow a backbone. 

"Well they're not big parts-" he tried to reason.

"You're actually in both of them?" Bentley demanded, his eyes practically popping out of his head when he saw the knee and elbow pads the boy was sporting. "But you don't know how to roller skate."

"They're teaching me," August chuckled, shooting Carrie and Riven a grateful smile. And when Bentley's disbelieving gaze found theirs, they just offered him smug grins and little waves, showing off their own elbow pads as they did so.

Bentley's shock jumped to a whole new level when he spotted Mick's elbow pads though. "You're in it too, Mickie?!"

"Well I didn't like how quickly Butchy dismissed them when they asked him to take part," Mick began, smirking at the very thought. "So I thought I'd teach him a lesson about not judging things at face level."

"Well, we should have known not to expect his neanderthal brain to be able to comprehend such complex concepts as 'having fun'," Carrie retorted with a cheeky dig Mick luckily started to laugh at.

"I've gotta admit, it did sound really corny at first. But once you get past the fact it's all about trains, the show is pretty fun," Mick confessed.

"Duh, of course it's fun, we're directing it," Carrie added, gesturing to the auburn-haired giant behind her, who just laughed in his approval. 

"The whole show's done on roller skates - I still don't understand how anyone could know that and not automatically think it's awesome," Riven said between his chuckles. 

But at that revelation, Bentley's eyes started to grow wide again. "Hold on, you're not expecting me to have a part in your show too, are you?" he asked, horrified at the very idea. "I barely have a handle on what I'm doing in Viv's already, and that's just one show. Plus, I can't even roller skate so-"

"No, we don't need you to be in it," Riven cut in with a chuckle before the blonde's anxious ramblings could make him run out of breath. 

"Unless you want to be in it, then we'd totally find you a part," Carrie tagged on with an encouraging grin. 

"And teach you how to skate," Riven added with a mischievous smirk. "If we can teach Mick, we can teach anyone."

And although Mick's playful whack of Riven's arm did help him relax a touch, Bentley's stance on their offer was still firm: "No thanks, I'm good." But his curiosity was still running rampant as the others giggled at his reaction. "Well if you don't need me to have a part in the show, then what did you need my help for?"

"We wanted to see if you'd be willing to help us with designing and making the costumes," Riven explained.

Bentley thought he had to have misheard him. "The costumes?"

"Yeah," Riven chuckled at the boy's expression. "What's that face for?"

"I don't know the first thing about making costumes - I've never worked with fabric in my life."

Riven and Carrie exchanged another glance. "That's kind of why we need your help," Carrie started.

But when Bentley just looked more confused than ever, Riven went on to explain. "None of the stuff in the playhouse storage bins will work because, well, they're just regular people clothes, so we need to design our own stuff. Juliet's already said she can help construct any actual clothing garments we need, but our main problem is how to actually use the outfits to make us look like trains."

Bentley's thoughts came to a screeching halt. "Wait…you guys are the trains?"

"Yeah."

"You're acting as trains? Singing trains?" They had to be pranking him, right?

"Uh, yeah," Carrie said, sharing another quick glance with Riven.

"What did you think the show was about?" he snorted.

"I don't know, I thought you were just like people working on a railroad or something," Bentley retorted with an incredulous splutter.

"Well we're not, we're the trains," Riven chuckled.

"Yeah, why else would we need to do the whole thing on wheels?" Mick added with a playful wiggle of her skate-clad foot. 

"So what? You want me to…make you look like trains?" Bentley warily asked. "Like with big chimneys coming out of your heads and stuff?"

Fondly rolling her eyes at Bentley's poor attempts at stifling his laughter, Carrie stepped in to try to explain the proposal a little more clearly. "No - we just need to capture the vibe of trains - you don't need to shove us all in cardboard box models. We can show you the costumes of the official productions so you can get an idea of the sort of things we're looking for, but we don't have a huge budget, so we're gonna have to get creative - hence why we came to you," she finished with a proud grin. 

"All we want you to do is draw up some concepts that make us look enough like a train to sell the illusion to the audience. And as long as they're moveable enough for us to skate in, and can be constructed from stuff we've got access to, the rest of the design can be totally down to you," Riven added.

"So basically you've got free reign to make us look as ridiculous as you want," Mick tacked on with a chuckle. 

"But try to be a little nice with it," August gently offered from behind, which just set Bentley off to laugh more.

He did have to admit that the offer sounded quite tempting. After all, he'd never worked on anything like costume designs before - and from the sounds of things, this concept would let him get pretty creative with it; these weren't just average costumes - in fact, they were probably more sculpture than costume anyway. But there was something still holding him back. "I don't know, guys. I don't know if I've got the brain space to work on two shows at once-"

"Oh please, Bentley - come on," Riven pleaded. "We'll look like complete morons out there if we don't have good costumes."

"We will," Mick earnestly confirmed. "Trust me, It's not pretty."

"Well if I'm on Vivien's side then don't I want you guys to look like complete morons?" he asked with a mischievous giggle.

"Maybe, but where's the fun in a landslide victory?" Riven countered with a smirk. 

"Come on, Benny, please," came Carrie's attempt at begging. "I'll sit with you and help you learn all your lines whilst you work on the costumes."

Bentley's ears pricked up. "...Really?"

"Mhm," she confirmed with a kind nod. "And I can give you all my tips for breaking down the script into easier parts to manage; I know they can seem really daunting when you try to go through them all at once."

Now that sounded like an offer he could get behind. He'd already been toying with the idea of asking Carrie for help with the seemingly impossible task of learning his lines, but had chickened out every time. There were just so many - it was like they all blurred into one every time he'd even open a page. And he hated the thought of letting Vivien down because he couldn't get his brain to work how he wanted it to, so if Carrie could actually help him get through a scene without having to look at his script the entire time… Maybe it'd be worth giving up a few pages of his sketchbook to designing train-transformer-wannabes.

But he couldn't let them think he was that easy of a target… "I don't know guys, it just doesn't feel right going behind Viv's back like this-"

"Oh come on, Benny, please," Carrie tried again, with a touch more dramatic desperation.

"I'll do your dish duty for the rest of summer," Riven attempted to bribe.

But that just spurred on Bentley's reluctance even more. After all, he was rather curious about what else he could squeeze out of the pair to help sweeten the deal. "...I'm listening."

"You can have the rest of my pudding cups with dinner each night?" Riven offered. "And you don't have to go behind Viv's back," he added. "Don't go and tell her outright, but if she asks you about it then you're totally free to tell her. And if she's not happy about it, you can back out any time you want."

"Well, okay, but I still don't know if I'll have the time to-"

"If you say 'yes' we'll get you that rare Spiderman comic you want," Riven threw out in a moment of sheer desperation.

Bentley's heart skipped a beat. Damn, they really did want his help.. "...Seriously?" he breathed, eyes widening at the very prospect.

"Sure, Carrie'll cover it - won't you, Carrie?" Riven confirmed with a smirk as he gave the blonde's shoulder a squeeze. 

Shooting him a sharp glance, she hissed a tight: "I will?"

"Of course you will," Riven verified, his mischievous smirk only broadening as Carrie's mildly murderous glare was replaced with Bentley's whole-hearted satisfaction.

"Alright, done. Pass me a pen and some paper," he said, sealing the deal with a barked laugh and a cheesy grin before either one of them could back down on their offers again. 

"Welcome aboard, Bentley," Riven replied, shooting him a victorious smile as he reached across the table and shook the boy's hand. 

But just as Riven and the others were starting to unload all their ideas for potential costume concepts onto Bentley, with what he found to be startling levels of enthusiasm, the room's main lights flickered to life, illuminating a seething head of green hair in the doorway. Before Bentley could question the girl's sudden appearance, or could let his eyes adjust to the drastic shift in brightness though, she called out to her band partner with thunderous urgency.

"Riv, you've got a hell of a lot of explaining to do; I just looked up this 'Belle' character you want me to play - care to tell me why she's described as 'ancient' and 'peeling'?" an outraged Jade demanded. "Or why you thought I'd be so perfect to play her?"

Rolling his eyes and just laughing off the girl's anger, Riven quickly tried to appease her with a teasing: "That's not the version of her we're using, dummy. And don't you dare try to tell me you're not perfect for her - you nap all the fucking time."

As Riven and Jade broke off into their own friendly spat, and Mick and Carrie started up their own conversation about what Mick had been practising last on her skates, Bentley found himself turning to August - this time taking his turn to wear the awkwardly sheepish smile. "Why do I get the feeling I've signed up for way more than I can handle?"

"Oh come on, don't worry, it'll be fun," August reassured before offering a joke to further set him at ease. "And hey, at least you're getting a backstage job and a comic book out of it - all I'm gonna get is on-stage embarrassment and massive quads."

The guffaws spilled from Bentley's lips before he could stop them - and after glancing around to watch Carrie clumsily catching Mick (who looked as if she'd just stepped on a banana peel in an old cartoon) before she could fall, and Riven playfully bickering with Jade in the doorway, he started to think that working with them on this project might not be so bad after all. Plus, a whole costume concept all to himself? He could definitely have some fun with that…

[gabriel-xander]

Don't Forget

[Sans x Female!Reader]

32: Are You Jacking off to Sun Tzu - The Art of War, Dude?

A/N: I fear I will be taking a long Hiatus now 🥲 I have a bigger project I need to work on and it’s like a legit job so all of my stories will be on hold. I’ll TRY to update here and there when I can, but I cannot promise anything. That said, I hope you can enjoy this chapter!

♪────✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

Swap-Sans lasts about… approximately 3 minutes of pure silence before he breaks. You’re not shocked at all since he is supposed to be this AU’s eager little man. He had taken a quick look back at Sans, asking for his name with skepticism. To your surprise, Sans doesn’t give a fake name and instead just tells his counterpart the truth.

This does not fly with the Royal Guard, no sir.

“HMM… BUT… I’M THE MAGNIFICENT SANS…” Swap-Sans snaps his fingers with a winning smile, “YOU CAN BE “OTHER SANS” INSTEAD!!”

“PPFT!!”

You slap your hand over your mouth, though it is futile to muffle your laughter. As said before, ever since Other Sans reverted to his original look, his expressions are so much more extra and dynamic.

And now Other Sans’ disbelief was the funniest shit you’ve ever seen. He groans at your laughter, hoping Swap-Sans doesn’t look at him to see his blush. That said, Swap-Sans is very proud to have made you laugh that hard.

“AND WHAT ABOUT YOU, HUMAN?”

“Ah-haha! Ahem–Uh, you can call me [Y/n],” You say with a few lasting giggles.

“[Y/N], IS IT? THAT’S A GOOD NAME!”

Huh. That gives you some major deja vu from when you first met Papyrus.

“Thanks,” You said, “I picked it out myself.”

You look into the camera with a knowing look. Ah, you appreciate a good call back.

Swap-Sans has very little interest in talking to his other double, so he puts his attention on talking to you. You think he might’ve forgotten that you’re a prisoner considering Swap-Sans has been asking you question after question about yourself. Other Sans might’ve told you not to give away too much, but how could anyone expect you not to entertain Swap-Sans? He’s such a good boy and he’s doing his best!!

You only tell him the surface-level things about yourself, the same crap you tell other people when you’re just being polite.

“It’s basically the gist of it. I just want to be a doctor and save lives when I can,” You tell him earnestly, “It’s going to take a long time before I can get to a skill level that will make a difference, but I’m willing to put in the time for it.”

Swap-Sans nods eagerly along with your words, “WHAT A WONDERFUL PASSION! YOU KNOW, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU BECAME A DOCTOR FOR THE SAKE OF SOMEONE ELSE.”

You widen your eyes and stutter. “Wow… Yeah, I mean, How–… How did you know?”

“HOW DO I KNOW? WELL, IT SOUNDS PRETTY OBVIOUS FROM THE WAY YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT IT. THAT’S THE THE SOUND OF SOMEONE WHO DOES GOOD FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS.

‘…Ueueueue…’

“I wouldn’t go that far, but… yeah. You got it.” You feel a little flustered, laughing awkwardly.

You get more engaged in the conversation with this AU’s Sans, your eyes and tone sparkling with merriment. Other Sans slows down just enough that he falls a few steps behind, letting himself walk at a pace to observe you and his other version interact.

That thing Swap-Sans said… Other Sans didn’t know that was the reason why you became a doctor, and it never really occurred to him to ask.

Ugh! How did fucking Swap-Sans pick that up before Sans did? That’s not something Sans would normally miss, so why–

Wait, could it be that it’s because when he first met you he was more focused on checking if you were good or not? Actually no, that’s exactly what it was. Back then, he wasn’t remotely interested in you (not in positive ways, at least) so it’s no wonder it went over his head.

It makes him wonder, who is the person who inspired you to be a doctor in the first place?

Other Sans can’t think of someone you mentioned who passed away in your personal life. From what he knows–from what you shared–both of your parents and siblings are still around, and you talk about your “bestie”, Elliot, with too much happiness for him to be a past memory. You mention all the time how “when you meet him, you’ll understand why I call us a gay duo.”

“When,” you kept saying. So no, Sans has no reason to believe Elliot has passed.

But what about… your ex-boyfriend, Kōrenki? You spoke about that guy only once, but you said you loved him and only had good things to say. Hm… No, maybe not him either.

It’s truly a mystery to Other Sans, but perhaps that’s a clue for Other Sans that he really needs to get to know you better. Despite you knowing a lot, you still go out of your way to ask him about himself and his brother. Even if you know it already or not, you make him feel like you’re genuinely interested in him and his past.

Man… What did he do to deserve someone as kind as you?

…Probably shouldn’t let his subconscious answer that, he might come up with answers he’s not ready for.

Other Sans is brought out of his thoughts when you three break clear of the forest. He’s not super shocked to see you’re all now close to Snowdin already. This AU is a direct copy of his own with the difference lying only in the monsters and their swapped personalities. Anyway, Snowdin Town is right there… right across the fucking bridge.

That’s not ideal.

Ever since he learned of your fear of heights, Other Sans will never let you use the bridge to cross. You never need to use the bridge when you go to work in Downtown Snowdin, and there isn’t any reason for you to use it otherwise. If it was absolutely necessary, then Other Sans would either give you a shortcut across, or Papyrus would just carry you over it.

To his surprise, you say nothing about it. He can’t see your face, but he can read your body language well enough to know you’re getting anxious and tensing up.

“HMPH,” Swap-Sans crosses his arms, “YOU’RE LUCKY I AM NOT ACTIVATING THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR FOR NOW.”

You force a laugh that sounded way too obvious to your discomfort, “Ah-ha ha ha… Yeahhh…”

“UH, IS SOMETHING THE MATTER?”

“Whaaat? Nooo, nothing is-”

“-uh, no?” Sans cuts you off, “you’re afraid of heights, don’t start lying.”

“Bro…”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING?”

“With all due respect, why would I?”

Swap-Sans almost pouts but his limitation to his facial anatomy stops him from doing it correctly. “WELL… I MIGHT BE CAPTURING YOU, BUT I’M NOT EVIL AND UNREASONABLE.”

Other Sans steps forward to stand next to you with a wink, “if it doesn’t rattle your bones, i can shortcut us all across. save us some time.”

“OH, WOW!” Swap-Sans looks at the Other Sans with wide eyes, “YOU REMIND ME OF MY BROTHER. HE CAN USE SHORTCUTS, TOO.”

“ha-ha, that’s so silly, ah-ha ha… imagine that…”

You snort, “Way to keep it subtle, Other Sans.”

Other Sans sulks his shoulders, “you’re actually calling me that?”

“NO TIME TO SULK, OTHER SANS! HELP US GET ACROSS, WON’T YOU?”

“yeah, yeah–whatever, just put your hand on my shoulder.”

Swap-Sans, not picking up the tone in his counterpart's tone, does so with an eager smile. You go to the other side of Other Sans, smiling at him while holding out your hand. His own smile eases as he takes your gloved hands.

Is he weird for liking the look of you wearing his stuff? He hopes it isn’t weird because he’d love to see you in his sweater one day.

The moment you close your eyes, giving his hand a little squeeze, Sans shortcuts you 3 to the other side of the bridge. His grip tightens on your hands when he sees you stumble a bit. Fuck, your body is still recovering from using the DJ earlier but he’d rather do this than make you cross that bridge.

“ARE YOU ALRIGHT, [Y/N]?”

“are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay,” You laugh at their overlapping concern, “Aw, you guys are so sweet in your own ways.”

Other Sans and Swap-Sans both feel pride in your praise but make the terrible mistake of looking at each other at the same time.

…

Eugh.

“Well, let’s keep going,” You sigh softly, already walking ahead (You haven’t let go of Other Sans’ hand yet so he was happily dragged along with you). “We’re here now and Other Sans and I need to be locked up.”

“R-RIGHT…”

Man, call him crazy, but Swap-Sans doesn’t even want to lock you up anymore. Other Sans though… meh. But you–You’re so funny and a pleasure to talk to. Swap-Sans saw you as a threat before but he’s gotten the chance to talk to you and you’re actually so chill.

Crap, you were right when you said you two could be great friends earlier. He accidentally gave you that chance and you totally proved him right!

You stop walking when you realize Swap-Sans hasn’t moved yet. You furrow your brows together and pull your hand away from Other Sans so you can cross your arms.

“Hey, you okay, buddy?” You ask him with concern.

“IF… IF I MAY BE HONEST, I DON’T WANT TO LOCK YOU IN OUR CAPTURE ZONE ANYMORE.” Swap-Sans huffs whole crossing his arms, “YOU WERE… UGH! YOU WERE RIGHT! I GAVE YOU A CHANCE AND I DON’T WANT TO CAPTURE YOU ANYMORE, BUT I HAVE A JOB TO DO. I AM TRAINING TO BE A ROYAL GUARD, I CAN’T GO BACK ON MY WORD.”

You grin widely–holy shit, your unmatched rizz actually worked! Look at you, stumbling ass-backward into victory! Other Sans is pretty impressed as well, but it’s to be expected with how charismatic you are (in his opinion, anyway). Other Sans isn’t very eager to get locked up, so he can get behind this.

“well, how ‘bout this?” Other Sans suggests, “we can be locked up in your house instead and we can still hang out that way while we wait for your human to arrive.”

“EHHH…”

You nod eagerly, “Oh, that’d be a good idea! Besides, I’m freezing out here, and I doubt the Capture Zone is gonna be comfortable.”

“YOU’RE ACTUALLY SO RIGHT, [Y/N]! LET’S GO TO… MY HOUSE!!”

Filled with new motivation and vigor, Swap-Sans starts marching into town, not even looking to make sure you’re both following. You give Other Sans a knowing look.

“Maybe you like me in every Universe, huh?” You say teasingly.

Other Sans blushes lightly, “yeah, well… i mean, who wouldn’t?”

“…Gay ass.”

“???”

With a laugh at his expression, you grab Other Sans’ hand again and drag him to follow after his counterpart.

Taglist:

@lemonboy011

@adriixboo

@fluffyart5000

@fetusbaconegg

[dark-elf-writes]

A Hot for Teacher drabble? In this economy? More likely than you think.

I was reading through HFT and found a post about genma finding naru lost in the grocery store and it possessed me

Genma Shiranui was pretty sure the brightly colored package in his hand wasn’t actually food despite its many claims otherwise.

A glance through the ingredient list found nothing recognizable as something that came from nature, and he had major doubts that anything in that shade of orange the “food” was depicted as on the front was truly edible. He tossed it in the basket with his stack of instant ramen and energy drinks and swore to Guy’s ghost (not that he was dead, but speaking to his friend’s metaphorical spirit was far less exhausting than the enthusiastic lecture on nutrition he would get in person) that he would at least grab a premade salad before he left. He had just moved down to the next probably inedible and brightly colored package of junk food screaming for his attention when he heard the sniffle.

Genma frowned, looking at the package his hand was hovering over for a heartbeat too long before realizing the sound had come from below him. 

(He was still getting used to the whole “friends with single dads” thing. A part of him still wanted to look around for a responsible adult for himself, so the idea of being the responsible adult for someone else was a special kind of horrifying. That said, Genma showed up every time Guy or Kakashi needed a sitter even if the first time he had to look up how the hell he was supposed to change a diaper.)

The sight of familiar blue eyes, if bloodshot and rimmed with red from the tears that were pouring down the poor kid’s cheeks, was all Genma registered before a little body hit him with the force of a truck. His bad arm flew back to catch himself on the shelf, sending a painful twinge through his shoulder, while his good arm pulled his basket out of the way before a little head could slam into it.

“Naruto?” He managed through the pain as his brain finally caught up with who exactly the tiny bowling ball attached to his legs was. “Hey, buddy, what’s wrong? Where’s your dad?” That was, apparently, the wrong thing to ask as Naruto immediately burst into loud, body-shaking sobs.

Genma was an ex-soldier. He had stood calm under fire. He had taken a bullet and still dragged his battle buddy to safety before passing out from blood loss. 

He had a full two second panic when faced with a crying toddler.

Wrenching his panicking thoughts under control with an iron grip, Genma shifted the two of them until he was kneeling in front of Naruto, abandoning his basket to pet wild blond hair and whispering soft assurances as the poor kid cried. It took a couple minutes and a few repetitions to understand the word Naruto gasped out between sobs, but Genma eventually got the gist of it by the time Naruto had calmed enough that his sobs were more hiccups. 

Naruto had said he was too big for the cart, so Kakashi had allowed him to walk next to him while they shopped. Only Naruto had seen something that sparked his interest and wandered off, and by the time he remembered he had broken his promise to stay by his dad he didn’t know where in the store he was. Naruto had been looking for his dad when he had seen Genma and knew he would help.

Genma smiled and ruffled Naruto’s hair. “I’m glad you found me, kiddo. Now the two of us can find your dad, yeah?”

Fat little fists rubbed at those teary blue eyes so hard that Genma gently pulled them away for fear the kid would do some damage. “What if he’s mad?”

“Mad?” Genma asked, running gentle fingers under Naruto’s eyes to wipe away more stray tears before Naruto could start rubbing again. “Nah, he’s not gonna be mad. He’s too much of a worry wart for that.”

Naruto sniffed, and Genma mentally cursed himself for not carrying tissues as the kid ripped his nose on his orange sleeve. Some Uncle he was. “Promise?”

“I swear it, kiddo. Now c’mon, let’s find your dad.”

Genma shifted his basket to his bad arm before lifting Naruto up, settling him on his hip as he straightened from his crouch. Any discomfort from the weight on his arm was well worth it when Naruto rested his head on his shoulder. Even the thought of the toddler snot that was certainly getting wiped off on him didn’t bother him when Naruto let out a sniffly little giggle when Genma bounced him up into a more comfortable position.

It wasn’t the most comfortable carrying a still upset child in one arm while the other screamed in protest under the weight of the pitiful collection of junk that was Genma’s groceries, but Genma had been in far more uncomfortable situations. Being shot had a way of forcing perspective like that. 

In the end it wasn’t hard to find Kakashi. He was tearing up the main aisle like a madman head whipping left and right as he scanned the aisles. It probably would have been funny if he couldn’t see the near panic in his friend’s eye.

“Yo! Kash!”

Kakashi’s head snapped to him so fast Genma felt a twinge of sympathy in his own neck. He barely had the time to see one dark eye widen in recognition before his friend was there, abandoned cart slamming into a shelf hard enough to make the entire thing shutter at the force in his desperation, all but snatching Naruto from his arms and burying his face in wild blond hair. Naruto, whose tears had restarted the moment he caught sight of his dad, clung to Kakashi’s shirt and wailed into the dark fabric. 

The sound had attracted the eyes of the few people shopping at this hour, but a flash of a smile that was anything but friendly and a few pointed glares from Genma convinced their audience to suddenly find the nutritional facts of whatever was in their hand very interesting for the conceivable future. It was a bit harder wrangling Kakashi and Naruto down one of the side aisles, but Genma managed it. Saving the abandoned cart was far easier and had the added benefit of letting Genma put his own basket down as he steered with one hand. 

Once he had all three of them tucked into the most private space he could manage in the store he turned to his friend, frowning when he caught the rapid rise and fall of Kakashi’s shoulders and white-knuckled grip he had on Naruto’s jacket.

“Hey man,” Genma paused a few feet away when he saw Kakashi’s arms tighten. Right. Grounding first and comfort later. “You’re good. The kid is good too. He’s super smart, you know. Went straight to a safe adult and asked for help. Nearly scared me half to death when I saw him there, but he was real brave. I promised him as much junk food as he wanted before bedtime, so that’s probably not the best but I would argue that’s my right as honorary favorite uncle.”

Kakashi’s snort was more than a little harsh (and wet. Ugh, Genma didn't want to think what that was like with the mask) but his death grip on Naruto’s jacket loosened a little and he managed to pull back enough to glance up at Genma through his silver bangs. 

“Guy’s his favorite uncle.”

“Bullshi- cra- poop. Bull poop. Lee is his favorite cousin, and Guy is the person that makes Lee appear, that’s all.”

“Bullshit.”

“Hey! Little ears or some shit! Wait, fuck. I mean–!”

Kakashi’s huffed laugh was a welcome sound. Naruto’s muffled little giggle was even more so. Genma was batting a thousand here. “So, anyway, Favorite Uncle Genma declares that tonight is movie night complete with all the junk food we can eat without barfing. Don’t even try to argue. I know damn well you don't have anything planned for tomorrow, so all three of us are staying up past bedtime and bonding.” 

It was surprisingly easy to corral Kakashi and Naruto out of the store. Kakashi hadn’t even protested when Genma had paid for all the groceries himself, which might have been because he was far too busy glaring at anyone who looked at Naruto too long like an overgrown guard dog. He also didn’t argue when Genma snagged his keys and shoved him into the passenger side after buckling Naruto into his car seat which was a mercy considering lifting Naruto up into his seat and transferring the groceries into the back had done Genma’s shoulder no favors. He’d make Kakashi drive him back to his car in the morning… or text Hayate and bribe him into using the spare key to get it home.

Thankfully, Genma was around enough that Kakashi’s pack didn’t jump him immediately after he shouldered through the door with both sets of groceries hanging off his good arm. Even better Genma actually remembered where Kakashi kept the laminated paper with all of the dogs’ dinner needs so he managed to get all eight of them fed and watered correctly without having to break up the tangled mass that was Kakashi and Naruto on the couch. 

Eventually all three of them were situated on Kakashi’s singular couch (god he and Guy needed to see about getting the poor bastard more furniture that wasn't child-sized or a dog bed) with varying bowls and packages of candies, cookies, and the mystery orange monstrosity Genma had picked up at the store that Naruto loudly claimed as his favorite spread around them. There was even an age-appropriate movie droning on in the background that they all paid half attention to while hunting for their preferred snack. Sure, the amount of sugar and god knew what else all three of them were eating could hardly be considered a balanced dinner, but Genma was content in the knowledge that all three of them were fed without bloodshed or any more tears. 

He was killing this whole Uncle thing.

Naruto had dropped into sleep, snoring away from his spot sprawled across both of them, when Kakashi reached one arm behind the couch and flicked something light and flat over Genma’s head. It took some shifting to free his good arm enough to peel what turned out to be a heating pad off of his face.

“You fucked up your arm,” Kakashi accused.

“A bullet fucked up my arm. I just irritated it.”

That earned him a rude gesture which was rather merciful considering Kakashi’s usual gruff sort of love. Maybe Genma should let himself be a kid mattress more often. “Well you’re damn good at it, bastard.”

Genma laughed, stilling when Naruto shifted on top of him. When he was sure his living blanket was still out he shot Kakashi a smirk. “I’m good at a lot of things, I’ll have you know.”

Kakashi’s face did something complicated. “You are. Better than me.”

Suddenly Genma wasn’t so sure they were talking about being annoying anymore. He nudged Kakashi with his socked toes and narrowed his eyes at him. “You’re a good dad, Kash. I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.”

“Even me?” Kakashi asked with a pointed look at Genma’s bad shoulder.

“I never said that I’d win the fight.” That earned him a snort, which Genma took as a win. “Seriously, Kakashi, what you’re doing is fucking hard. I can barely manage to take care of myself most days, much less a living breathing human being. Even if it wasn’t just you it would be hard. Everyone talks about how hard it is, that’s why they have those mommy groups and shit so you can drink wine and talk about how hard it is.”

“Actually they’re more–”

“See? You know! You give a fuck about your kid enough to know! This doesn’t make you a bad dad. Fuck, my old man forgot me at the store twice when I was Naruto’s age. Shit happens, and you’re the kind of smart that will figure out the leash the first time instead of the second.”

Kakashi’s kick was far gentler than it would have normally been either because the cold blooded bastard had finally grown a heart or because of the toddler still using Genma as a futon… probably the toddler. “Make all the dog jokes about me you want, but leave the kid out of it.”

Genma blinked. “I wasn’t!”

“Leash?” Kakashi pointed out with an unimpressed eyebrow.

“I was serious, asshole! They make like backpacks with fucking leashes or some shit. Better than the bracelet I had to–” Genma broke off as a thought occurred to him. Wait, hold on, you mean I was a leash kid, and Hatake ‘Dog Food Isn’t That Bad’ Kakashi wasn’t?”

Despite being friends with Kakashi for years, Genma still wasn’t entirely sure how the bastard managed to smirk with the mask hiding his mouth. What he was sure about was that it was fucking annoying to have aimed at him.

(Genma ignored the slight feeling of relief in his chest that Kakashi was back to his usual bastard self.)

“That explains so much about you.”

“Fuck off, you didn’t even know leash kids were a thing before now!”

“And yet so many burning questions about Shiranui Genma have been answered in one fell swoop!”

The renewed ache in Genma’s arm was well worth the sight of the orange monstrosity of a snack he had picked up at the store bouncing off of the skin between Kakashi’s eyes, and onto the floor. At least it was until the two of them scrambled to get out from under Naruto and to the mystery snack before one of the dogs could snatch it. 

(A few days later Genma showed up at Kakashi’s door proudly showing off the orange fox harness backpack much to Naruto’s delight, firmly solidifying himself in the position of favorite uncle.)

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Okay guys, you've convinced me lol, here's the gist of the Kim/Porsche idea!

The Kittisawats are a rival mafia family led by Porsche

When Kim is ~18, instead of running away to college, he sells himself to Porsche to be his sex slave. It's surprisingly wholesome.

This happens bc Kim discovers Tawan's being sketchy. Kinn doesn't believe him, so Kim tries to find more evidence, only to learn Korn is also involved (not directly, but he makes it very easy for Tawan to find secrets to sell, and be the snake he is). Kinn doesn't believe Kim about this either, but now he's angry bc Kim is trying to tear down Tawan and their father, while he's blinded by love and respect for both.

So Kim runs straight to Porsche

The conditions for his deal: Porsche gets Kim and everything he knows, as long as Porsche protects him from his father, swears not to hurt Kinn, and takes care of Tawan. Kim just wants to keep his family safe. But he knows he's just become a traitor, and his father won't let that stand. So. He's stuck with the Kittisawats. (It's not a hardship. He's honestly treated so much better by Porsche, feels more free as his slave than his father's son, and isn't that fucked up.)

At this point, Porsche isn't sleeping with men yet. There's some interest but no follow through. But Kim is offering himself up, so like. That's what he's supposed to do, right?? That seems like the thing to do. Because Kim's his sex slave now. So they should have sex.

Neither of them have any idea what they're doing. Kim's being heavily influenced by Vegas' psychotic stories of his sex pets, so that's what he expects from Porsche, and that's the role he's trying to fill. Porsche is just going along for the ride.

(It ends up angsty later bc neither of them actually want this. Or, they don't want it like this.)

Porsche does think Kim is very pretty, which leads to some... interesting situations. Some dubcon gender. Kim is going to play the part of his beautiful demure mistress because he feels like he has to. And it's easier this way, separating himself from the situation by playing this role, changing every aspect of himself down to his voice. (Until he has an identity crisis and a breakdown about it.)

This actually becomes a central part of the fic, but I don't want to spoil the surprise.

After Kim's break down, they start over, establish some boundaries and expectations. Once Kim gets comfortable enough to feel safe with Porsche, and his place under Porsche's power, he becomes an absolute gremlin. Porsche loves it, he's so fun, he's such a little shit.

Another central part of this fic is that Kim has OCD and slight agoraphobia. The agoraphobia comes after he betrays his father, it's a gradual onset. First he's just in hiding, but then Porsche starts trying to make him go out more. He's heard stories about Kim's eldest brother who never leaves the tower, he doesn't want Kim to end up like that. But Kim resists him at every turn, until it's just. Natural for him not to leave. (Chay will later get him outside, but not for a while.)

The OCD has always been there. But Korn isn't exactly a beacon of mental healthy support, so Kim has no idea what it is. All he knows is that he's Odd, that there are certain rituals he has to perform or else he feels like he's going to die, or someone else is, and he's usually punished for it. I don't want to get into all of them here but !!! I've spent the past few days coming up with self-soothing rituals for Kim and they are so good. It's not the usual generic habits like ~clean freak~ or ~counting things~, they're connected to his specific traumas, and they are so. excellent. they make me so happy.

So yeah! There you go! It starts out almost like an arranged marriage trope, Kim sells himself to Porsche, they eventually relax around each other, and they become excellent friends (who fuck, but don't fall in love). Kim uses family secrets to help Porsche get a leg up on his father. Porsche eventually helps mend Kim's broken relationship with Kinn (DubCon brother bonding).

Oh! And while Porsche isn't particularly kinky in this story, Kim is, so Porsche has to learn how to be a good dom for him. Once again the way that happens is very angsty, but it turns out great for them! Kim just needs someone to put him in subspace and leave him there for a while, get him out of his head. It's as close to therapy as he's likely to get.

[iamafanofcartoons]

Psychogator gives us "The Waiting Room" with Ruby Rose, Claire Redfield, Heavy, and Hellboy.

Somewhere in an omni-dimensional realm: The Merchant's Inventory...

(Claire Redfield finds herself in the bright room, where she sees the other three characters sitting on their seats. They seem to be waiting for the same thing she is. She just sits on her seat, taking a magazine and tries to read...though she can't help but feel curious)

Claire: *To Ruby* So...what are you supposed to be? Some kind of Red Riding Hood?

Ruby: Huh? Oh, my name's Ruby. I'm kind of a monster hunter.

Claire: And you...? Red Guy?

Hellboy: "Red Guy"? Really?

C: You some kind of demon? Who I guess also hunts demons?

H: That's kind of leaving out important details, but...yeah. That's the gist of it.

C: And the other guy's some of mercenary.

Heavy: I am Heavy Weapons Guy. I was commissioned to Red Team.

C: And none of you are weirded out by this?

R: Mmm...Nope.

Heavy: Niet.

Hellboy: Trust me. I've found weirder things in weirder worlds than this.

C: Okay, then...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Claire: So, how did you guys hear about this place?

Hellboy: I was recommended to it by a friend of mine, and I was pretty much okay going into any place that can cook up a good new firearm for me. No questions asked.

Heavy: My Soldier friend brought here one day.

R: A Blacksmith Lady give me a ticket for a dimensional-traveling gig. I told them I just wanted to see cool weapons instead of just being around people. That's what's school's for.

Heavy: Da. School is good, Tiny Sniper. Where do you go?

R: Ever heard of Beacon Academy?

Heavy: I do not. This is good school?

R: *sigh* It's the BEST. You can learn how to fight monsters, how to work as a team, but the only bad thing is learning about history and stuff.

Heavy: Learning is good. I went to Soviet College of Mines, Farms, and Science. I have PHD on Russian Literature.

Claire: Do you...use that in your line of work?

Heavy: More than you think. *Turns to Hellboy* Hell-Man, what is your favorite enemy to kill in war?

Hellboy: I don't know about "war", but...I think my favorite enemy is probably giants. Either normal giants or gods, it's all the same to me. It makes things a lot more challenging.

Heavy: Killing giant robots is good thing, but to kill Spy is glorious thing! Brings glory to team! What about you, Little Rose? You are killing type.

Ruby: MY favorite enemy? I-I don't know. Beowolves, Ursas, Nevermores, Geists...It's like choosing what my favorite kind of cookie is!

Heavy: Hahaha! I like you, Tiny Sniper!

Claire: I got a few enemies I've come across. A few lickers and an asshole tyrant are kind of a breath of fresh air after swarms of zombies.

Heavy: Do Lickers disguise as best friend and stab you in the back?

Claire: Well, no, but...I have lost a few good friends to worse...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Ruby: *Turns to Heavy* Why do you call me "Tiny Sniper"?

Heavy: You are tiny and Sniper, no? You wear red, fitting for RED Team. Your gun hits like Machina. You earn this by being futuristic killer. You should try out for RED Team.

Ruby: I guess that could be fun. I mean, If I'm only there to kill monsters and robots and not...you know, people.

Heavy: Da. This is good for you. I suggest helping us against Gray Manns' robots and Merasmus' undead. You will kill many of them before dying, I think.

Ruby: I hope it doesn't come to that. Yang will get pretty worried if I do.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Hellboy: So, Redfield, what heat do you usually carry?

Claire: Anything I can get my hands on, really. Shotguns, grenade launchers, miniguns, secret weapons with infinite ammo. That sort of stuff. Usually, though, I rely on a good handgun or two, like my brother's Samurai Edge. What about you? You seem to carry a lot in that coat.

Hellboy: Well, it's your usual monster-killing stuff. Brimstone Grenades, Valisia's Gift, Agrippa's charms, but most of the time, I often rely on my Good Samaritan. I'm not a good shot, but it uses really big bullets.

Ruby: What rounds do you even use for them to be that big? That sounds like something that my Crescent Rose uses.

Hellboy: I usually use custom-made 22 millimeter Whoppers. Made them, myself. Holy water, clove leaf, silver shavings, white oak...the works.

Heavy: Hmph. Not much to be of use for Sasha.

Hellboy: Yeah? What rounds do you use?

Heavy: BIG.

Claire: Are we talking .300 Weatherby Mag?

Heavy: Bigger.

Ruby: .50 Cal?

Heavy: Bigger than .50 Cal. They are handmade, custom-tooled cartridges with classified diameter.

Hellboy: Geez. Why's that?

Heavy: So enemy cannot use ammunition...but Sasha can chew through THEIRS.

Ruby: That sounds...SO. COOL! Love

Heavy: *nods* I think so.

--------------------------------------------------

Hellboy: *To Ruby* So, Ruby, what's this "Crescent Rose" of yours? Some kind of a gun?

Ruby: Oh, my sweetheart is more than just a gun. It's a customizable, high-impact sniper rifle that's also a mechanical scythe. It pretty much uses .50 Cal bullets built with Dust.

Hellboy: *cocks a brow, unimpressed* Dust.

Ruby: Fire Dust, Ice Dust, Electric Dust...I can use Gravity Dust to launch myself like a missile. And if there's one thing you need to know about me, it's that I'm not slow.

Claire: You just "launch" yourself with your gun? That sounds...dangerously irresponsible.

Heavy: I know of this. Soldier does this with rocket launcher all the time.

Ruby: Yeah, but I usually have a semblance, or "superpower", to use speed. I usually do this to outpace monsters WAY bigger than me! I move around like a blur!

Hellboy: So, your world has weapons that are also guns, bullets that use magic, and you fight monsters bigger and deadlier than you.

Ruby: Yeah! Killing monsters is the coolest thing to do in the world! *Realizes it's Hellboy* Oh. Um...I hope I didn't offend you.

Hellboy: Offend me? *He smirks, genuinely excited* You just made my winter!

www.deviantart.com/psychogator/art/The-Waiting-Room-997558423

[mailjeevasfan]

Okay I have a dialogue idea but I don't know how to put it together so I'm going to throw it out with the couple of words I have loose and hope for the best lol. Okay so "you're fucking crazy" "for you" with the death note characters. As if their s/o did or said something that caused them to drop that phrase and their s/o responded that way, what would their reaction be?

Personally I don't think that neither Near or L (or at least Near) would curse but you get me. Anyway thank youuu ^^

sorry for disappearing for a little longer than anticipated, but she’s making her comeback!

ty for the req!!! i hope this is what you were after

-light, l lawliet, misa amane, mello, matt, near

༺♡༻

‘you’re fucking crazy’ ‘for you’ with dn characters ❦

light

-it’s bound to be a struggle to be dating light whilst he’s literally kira for lots of reasons. but one of them is that you really worry for him and his safety. you trust him most of the time because you know how intelligent and calculated he and his actions are. however, there come times where he just seems to be reckless. you would hit your limit in these times and take matters into your own hands.

‘i’ve told you before y/n, let me handle all these things. what were you even thinking, you’re fucking crazy!’

‘for you.’

light would probably either disregard this and still continue to berate you, but if you caught him on a certain day then he’d drop it. either way, he’d be doing it purely out of love and care for you.

༺♡༻

l lawliet

-we all know that l’s got a few screws loose himself. the plans he likes to carry out in order to benefit his investigation(s) are insane and surely bound to fail, but his intelligence prevails every time. so, you can be slightly influenced by this after long enough. at some point, he’s struggling with the kira investigation and running out of ideas, and this seems to be taking a toll on his self esteem and mental health. you don’t want to see him this way, so you’d come up with some crazy plan to proceed through the situation. (i’m gonna go with the idea that he would rarely curse, and when he does then you know it’s pretty serious)

‘y/n, this is completely illogical and just… crazy. you’re fucking crazy!’

‘yeah, for you…’

‘…i see.’

he’d probably sigh and drop the issue. he wouldn’t admit it but he definitely saw something sweet in this (and probably enjoyed it)

༺♡༻

misa

it could be something similar to light, but it could also be something to do with her occupation. she’s very famous and attracts the attention of a lot of people, so dating misa could be hard sometimes. you may be a little jealous at times, but also worried that she may not be safe, like she’s attracting the wrong kind of attention or something. so you’d respond to the situation in ur own way depending on your personality i suppose. the gist is that you’re maybe a lil possessive at times 😁

‘jeez, you’re fucking crazy sometimes y/n…’

‘for you.’

‘aww, you’re adorable!’

misa would find this the cutest out of everyone 100%

༺♡༻

mello

mello gets into a lot of dangerous situations due to the work he does. after a while you get used to the mafia lifestyle, and it certainly helps knowing that he’d kill anyone who even laid a finger on you. that being said, you can’t help but worry about him too. you know he can handle himself fine, and that he’s more well versed in these topics than you, even without his extremely high level of intelligence. but you still worry about him getting hurt or mixed up in something he can’t handle. you try your very hardest to leave yourself out of it because you know how much mello cares about doing things himself and not accepting help from others. but one time, you probably couldn’t help yourself, and got mixed up in a dangerous task.

‘what the hell y/n?! i told you, this isn’t for you to be handling, it’s too dangerous! i swear, you must be fucking crazy!’

‘for you, mello.’

‘i-‘

his rage would probably subside quicker than ever as he tried his hardest to tell you how cliche and unreasonable you were being, but he still relents and drops it after that comment.

༺♡༻

matt

matt is consistently involved in whatever mello is doing, which, as i said, is very dangerous stuff. he just kind of goes along with whatever mello has planned because their bond is strong and he trusts him with everything. you know matt isn’t stupid, in fact he is very smart. it does help that he’s usually just on the sidelines, managing some sort of technical work like surveillance, but every once in a while he’s right in the middle of the violence. you worry about this because it’s dangerous for a start, but also completely out of his comfort zone. you may have stopped him from going along with a plan one time, as it just seemed like way too much.

‘y/n, i need to do this for mello. please just trust me.’

‘i do trust you matt. but you can’t do this, i won’t let you!’

‘listen, i love you, but you’re fucking crazy.’

‘…for you…’

it was already a shock to hear matt being so serious, let alone so vulgar towards you, but this stopped him in his tracks. he’d stay silent for a moment, before returning to his usual self and laughing it off. he couldn’t possibly say no to you after that, but he also couldn’t let you off without teasing you a little.

༺♡༻

near

near is kind of a mixture of everything that has already been said. despite his methods being at least a tiny bit more conventional than l’s, he’s still in threatening situations often. he’s very well protected and very intelligent himself, but similarly to the others, you still worry regardless of this. you’d sit him down one day when you began to worry about his meeting with the task force, and your emotions became a more intense than you anticipated.

‘y/n, you need to stop and think about what you’re saying. you know how long i’ve been planning this, what you’re saying is just crazy. you’re crazy’

‘for you, near.’

he probably wasn’t expecting something like this. however, he dealt with it as he usually would, reassuring you and realising that he should be more sensitive when you’re acting this way. it is out of love after all, and he’s beginning to realise this.

༺♡༻

[astro-can]

pfft what are you talking about I don't overthink that much

also me whenever I meet a new person at my new school:

person: hey what's up?

me: oh hey, I'm good. fuck I should have said hi not hey because now it seems like i'm copying them. how about you?

person: oh, I'm pretty good. what's your name?

me: oh i'm *name*, wbu?

person: my name is *idk*! so, what are some of your hobbies?

me: hobbies? HOBBIES? oh I have plenty of hobbies I like reading but if I say that then they're going to ask what kind of books I read and then i'll have to tell them I read whatever's trending because I can't tell them I read manga bc I would seem like a weeb and then they would think I'm one of those booktok girls who like dark romance when in reality i'm still stuck in my 12-year-old Percy Jackson and demonslayer phase, if I tell them that I like drawing then theres like a 80% chance that they're going to ask to see my drawings which I can't show them because I only draw my silly little ocs and anime characters and cartoons and that's embarrassing to show to other people, I can't say I like writing because they might ask what kind of things I write about and I can't say "oh I write fanfiction" because that's stupid and if they really want to know what kind of stuff I like to write about, then I would tell them the entire plot of the 3294673964932 stories I'm writing but then I might scare them off--

me: oh haha I like reading...and drawing.... FUCK WHY DID I SAY THAT AHHHHHHHH

person: oh cool! what kind of books do you read?

me: ummm just whatever's trending FUCK IM SO BAD AT THIS

person: cool, do you like music?

me: yeah totally!

person: what kind of music do you listen to? maybe rec me some artists?

me: WHAT DO I SAY I can't say that I like kpop because they're going to think i'm weird and a koreaboo even though i'm actually Korean but would they know that its kpop if I recommended a kpop artist? would they know txt? what if they search txt up in front of me right now and then they say "oh is this bts?" what do I do? if I say I like conon gray or taylor swift, i'll seem too basic. will they think i'm gay if I say chapell roan? well, I AM gay but that's not something I want to tell someone when i've first met them, especially since I don't know if they're an ally or not. ok, so what if I say mitski? would they think i'm depressed? would they ask if i'm ok? would I seem like a basic white teenager? I should just say mitski and lyn lapid those are my best choices--

me: oh I like mitski...chapell roan... FUCK I WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY LYN NOT CHAPELL IM GOING TO GO DIG MYSELF A HOLE what about you?

person: oh really? I like *music artist that I probably haven't listened to the music to before, probably someone like the weeknd or some rapper*

me: oh yeah I love the Weeknd too I have never listened to the Weeknd before i'm going to kms

person: anyways nice talking to you

me: was it really? was it really nice? am I nice? was I pleasant enough? did I stutter? did I fidget too much? oh shit, should I fix my hair? would they think I'm flirting with them if I tuck my hair behind my ear? oh gosh they're going back to their friends what if they're trash talking me what if they hate me and i've already ruined my reputation even though i've barely been here a month. i should've complimented them! I should've told them that I loved their hair or something....

yup that's basically my entire thought process. there's more but I can't write it all out because i'm not actually in a situation like that rn but that's the gist of it. help

[seastarblue]

Hiii, can I hear about Kaiden's dog? (And also the details of that deathless curse)

You absolutely can!

So. This is her doggo (v quick doodle bc I realized I never drew The Boi):

(He’s supposed to be a border collie)

Uh, his name’s Goose, because he’s a silly goose. The silliest of Gooses, I think.

There’s not that much about him, he’s just a girl in the world man idk. Kaiden adopted him off the street when he was a lil puppy, and now they’re besties :3

———

NOW ABOUT THAT CURSE— (under the cut :3)

Uh 🧍‍♀️ so I haven’t quite figured out the exact mechanics of it YET ☝️ but here’s the gist of it:

They do not have any form of innate magic (which is pretty common amongst humans, to be fair)

They are not affected by spells cast directly onto them (if the environment was manipulated via magic, then they would still be affected. Like if someone set a tree on fire and then shoved a Deathless into it, they’d burn even though that fire was magical in origin. It’s the same deal with helpful spells, too.)

They have gold blood, and when feeling neutral, they have small gold flecks in their eyes. (They become more prominent with extreme emotions, they can go completely gold if they’re Feeling Things)

They can see ghosts? Some can, at least. Our Girl Kaiden can.

Speaking of blood, their wounds (except ones dealt with [insert name of drug that counters the Curse] but that’s a story for another time) heal VERY QUICKLY compared to normal humans. A broken bone could take a week to heal, tops.

Speaking of injuries: the reason it’s called the ‘Deathless Curse’ is because the people who have it have the ability to come back from death, provided they aren’t too mutilated to the point of no return. That point is what I’m having trouble with BUT I’m getting there. Trust.

It’s very stigmatized, because in Niali (and as a whole—Ardenian) society, it’s considered Very Bad to mess with Death itself. Also it’s kinda freaky (in a bad way) to see someone—presumably dead—get up like nothing happened.

It certainly doesn’t help that they don’t know what causes it. All they know is that it affects humans only.

———

anddd yeah I think that’s it? Thanks for the ask @illarian-rambling ! ✨✨

[katyspersonal]

I am kinda interested, what is Sulyvahn exactly? Is he supposed to be a tree? I checked out the design of many bosses and it does seem that having tree elements in his design isn't unique as there many characters who have these elements as well (demons,humans,giants etc..) , also his wings look very similar to the wings of the "angels" we see in lothric.

I am pretty sure that with whatever turmoil the developers faced upon creating this character and deciding what he'd be, in the end they've settled for him being either a half-tree or a quarter-tree! Also look at these images:

( x ) Ok sorry if I had to see it then so did you fdhjfhdssfd

Okay the thing about him, he was born in the Painted World, which would make him either a Tree Person or a Crow Person! He doesn't show any corvid features, and as for the wings, Tree People do have them anyways:

His mother likely was Tree Person!

( x ) The dialogue directly referencing this is a cut content, of course, but it is one of those moments where Fromsoft cuts something without actually cutting it!

There is this particular Tree Woman who guards one of his youth spells, who is also heard crying before you approach her! As for why I'd mention he could be '25% tree' and not just a Tree Person, I will just quote what @val-of-the-north already said on the potential of Gilligan being his father:

As for Gilligan, it's probably to mention it as a jokey what-if lmao. People aren't ready for the truth. The gist of it though, is that in the area with that angry tree woman, there's a hidden, comically long wooden ladder that only appears when you defeat all the tree women in the area. Stupidly long ladders are the dude's staple, so the theory goes that it was Gilligan's way to come down, meet his family, and leave. Suly's mother would then hide the ladder so no one could use it. Of course, her son would one day discover the illusion and leave, dissatisfied with the Painted World, and her mother never saw him again

It's also worth pointing out that you can find Gilligan in the game itself, though he isn't exactly in a living state. He is found in the Profaned Capital surrounded by his wooden ladders. Suly has also been there as part of his rise to power so there's a second connection lol. Interestingly enough, his spell descriptions mention he "had not yet experienced loss", which might imply he did experience it in the future. It could have been losing his dad

So yeah, it might sound like a shitpost but like.. Where is the evidence against this idea? fdsjfjhds So if he had a Tree Person mother (who is 50% tree) and a human father, that'd make him 25% tree. AND it works with how as you can see from his model, he IS notably more humanoid than an average Tree Person! Nonetheless, still absurdly tall hahah

Personally, I think he doesn't have a face, either 🤔 It looks like it's not a mask, but his head and "face" is JUST like this, featureless. We were not supposed to see him 'naked' by normal means in the game, of course, but Fromsoft is notorious for putting too much effort into something only like, 3 dataminers on Earth will appreciate xd They bothered to model him this way under his clothes, so I just take it as legit! Nor I think that he somehow 'lost' his normal face later on.. though this IS a good question as to why his wings are considerably bigger than average Tree Person's ones, so I'll think about it later,

[izvmimi]

Since I don’t know enough of your new boo asta, would you mind introducing him to me? And I wanna know about your first kiss story pretty pleeeeeeeease *blinks at you expectantly*

hiiiii here's asta

(this is what his energy is like literally all the time)

anyway, he's very much of my type except a little more energetic and noisy and also notably short but!!!!! his attitude makes up for it and i love him very much

more things! (i'm still on episode 108 so i'm not 100% fully up to date aside from spoilers I've encountered intermittently but here is my understanding of him)

is basically a country hick boy, orphan raised by the church and tried to romance his elder sister/mom figure who also is a nun (we will let that slide unless i wake up in a bad mood). has a foster brother of sort who is his greatest (but healthily so) rival

magicless! practically disabled in a world where everyone has magic (magic is also tied intrinsically to social class which is an interesting little dynamic of its own). he ends up encountering a different form of power through Anti-Magic (using the little swords he has in the pic up there) which sounds silly but it works for him!

very passionate! a little stubborn! some may call him loud! but not to me!

dreams of becoming the Wizard King (magic Hokage) in order to make a better life for the magicless and the poor! is now a magic knight, an integral part of the Black Bulls, and doing his very best!

never gives up!

is not done yet!

literally charms everyone he meets despite probably being annoying on paper!

i love him!

ok about your second question (under cut cuz i'm embarrassed):

fjkd;fa weirdly enough i thought about the first kiss last night actually but it's super melodramatic and i'll probably write a fic about it and close my eyes and hit post

but basically the premise is it happens right before i claim i'm going to leave the Black Bulls in order to get married (in this au i am part of the silva royal family by a complicated circumstance and there's like some kitchy medieval family shit but essentially i'm supposed to get married to solidify my place, and this i'll probably also explain in a fic if i get to it), but essentially he's not okay with this arrangement for like many good reasons but including the fact that loves me and sort of initially pretends that he's fine with it, until he's not and there's essentially a convo where he confesses without saying it explicitly and... yeah it goes from there)

anyway! that's the gist.

[ms-cartoon]

Sorry for the long wait for this review. Life has been biting me in the rear lately and I’ve been unmotivated to get anything done. But I’m finally finished with this commentary and I haven’t forgotten about the “Unhappy Campers” episode that was uploaded recently. That will be done as well!

Okay, FINALLY Season 1 Episode 8 came out and about, after a year I think. Why was it taking so long? 

Well, short story; professional (or personal?) reasons involving Kesha. Also, copyright issues. 

Long Story? Well, as we all know, Kesha, a pretty known popstar, was voicing the role of a character Viv created for this episode named Beelzebub. As you can see from the gif I put on top, you can tell that there are some similarities there. Not just with the voice, but also appearances here and there.... which was one of the problems and reasons why Kesha didn’t wanna voice this role, at least initially since she clearly changed her mind after a year or so. If you’ve seen this episode, you’d probably know by now that Beelzebub is a party girl; she likes to drink, party, and eat junk food n stuff. And Kesha is ALL those things; party girl, likes to drink and eat. Or at least... she was like that? Thing is, she went to rehab for all those things and is recovering from it from what I’ve heard.

Not that I wanna assume anything but... creating an oc that has certain traits that the voice actor was struggling with and had to get cleaned for, not to mention that Beelzebub is a literal reference to Kesha and how she was back in the day? I don’t know what Viv’s goal was there, but doesn’t she think that might be a little insensitive?? Now, I don’t know if Kesha is sensitive about that, but she must’ve felt some type of way about it considering she wanted nothing to do with HB in the first place and had to wait almost a year to finally decide to do it.

Also, I still don’t get why this episode had to wait a year for this. Like, I get that Kesha is Vivzie’s idol and it was her dream to have her voice someone in her show, but did she really want her to voice a role so badly she wanted to put a pause on the season 1 finale and completely skip to season 2 until finally uploading it a year later? Why couldn’t she just get someone else to voice Beelzebub? Kesha didn’t even sing the song that was played in this episode, and she wrote it!! It just kinda feels like all this was for nothing. This should probably be the last time Viv EVER tries to get big-time celebrities to voice over characters in her show. Especially when it gets so complicated to the point where you have to keep certain famous youtube videos private, when animators can’t even upload animation roughs from the episode, and when you can’t tag Kesha about her association with Helluva Boss on ANY social media. Yeah . . . It’s that complicated. Hopefully, Viv will learn some kinda lesson from all of this, cuz she had to take her “Die Young” animation off YouTube because of it, which honestly sucks (mostly for her anyway). It really is messed up, especially when considering that Viv’s Die Young video was what mainly started her whole career in the first place before Hazbin. I really hope it was worth it,Viv. . . .

Anyway, let’s just jump to the review...

So episode 8 was kinda... meh. It was alright I guess, still like always, I was expecting something outta nothing. Of course, some things happened on here that I just had to complain about, and I’ll explain later. But the gist of it is that... not a lot happened in this episode. As always, the writers were just rushing things. This whole episode might as well have been a 5-minute clip after so much wasted time on some stupid song which I’ll admit is pretty catchy (gives me 2010 vibes). And also what bothers me about this whole thing was that this was about Loona. 

Lemme explain; so y’all remember Ozzie’s right? That whole thing with Blitzo spying on M&M and bringing Stolas along just to get in the club? Yeah, that episode. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but that was supposed to be a Part 1 before episode 8 before Viv decided at the last minute to change that. At the end of episode 7, Blitzo pushed Stolas away after dropping him off. He went home and was scrolling through pictures and started to cry after seeing a picture of him, his sister, and mother. I was expecting this whole episode to be about just Blitzo and what he got going on, similar to Stolas and his episode in the second season. Like maybe a flashback of his past or something with the people that was a part of his life and left at some point over what he did. We have yet to know what happened between him and Fizzarolli that ended their friendship. Or what about his sister?? Cuz apparently, she doesn’t like Blitzo either and is holding a grudge about something. With Verosika, well we already know the two dated and why they broke up sorta, but I still feel like we have yet to explore the relationship they had. Like, how the hell did a scrawny little imp like Blitzo get with such a baddie like Verosika??? What was their relationship like?

So yeah, I just feel like this episode could’ve given us a whole other different plot. If anything, the story in this episode could’ve been saved for another. Not that there was any plot to tell anyway, especially when it’s 15-minutes long and rushed as hell. 

It’s literally just Loona at a party...

In episode 7 S1, Blitzo got a text from Loona saying Vortex invited her to a party and that’s where we are. The whole time, she’s having difficulties socializing with folks and is very awkward. Plus we have our new character, Beelzebub to lighten everybody’s mood. She’s also Vortex’s girlfriend, but I’ll get into that in a little bit. Also, after a while, Blitzo comes by to pick her up initially but later joins the party with Loona.

Let’s just get started....

-- Hold up, so no disclaimer of “This is for adults! You have been warned!” warning?? We’re just gonna jump straight into the episode? I’m not sure whether they forgot about that part or if they just don’t care anymore, but to me, it feels rather off. Especially since they’ve been doing it since the first episode of season 1. If you’re wanting to go all out with the r-rating anyway, it would still be best for you to put that disclaimer every time before you start the episode, especially when folks of a younger age are watching it for the first time and don’t like to be caught off guard with anything vulgar.

-- I couldn’t tell if Loona just hung up on Blitzo or just left him on read when he tried to call her. Regardless, she didn’t answer the phone while knowing fully well he’s trying to call her and its pretty rude. I know I’m being nitpicky about this part, but as someone who has parents who’d get onto you a little for not answering the phone sooner and not calling back immediately after finding out you missed the call, it can get a little triggering.

-- The hellhounds in this party don’t even look like actual hellhounds; just over a hundred different breeds of dogs with red eyes. If anything, Loona and Vortex look more like hellhounds.

-- Is it just me, or does the animation and clean-up here feel . . . . off? I mean- Look at the outlines!!

Do you see how different the outlines are in size in each different scene??? They’re thick in one part, totally thin in another, but right back to thick again, and so on. Honestly, the more I notice it, the more irritable it is. I get that there are hundreds of animators working in this show, they like to animate their way, and I’m no animator myself (not yet), but would it kill y’all to stay consistent with the clean-ups here? Why can’t you stick to the same brush size while outlining?

-- While we’re on that topic, Loona’s character model looks much more off than the outlining. I’m not sure how I can explain it, I don’t critique art or character designs often (ironic cuz I draw a lot, lol), but Loona has been drawn so stiff and thick lately. . . . . I dunno. It just doesn’t look the same. You might see what I mean if you just look at the pictures above. Once again, it just seems like the animators and artist cannot stay consistent with the animation and character appearances.

-- Loona butts in on a conversation with a couple of people she apparently doesn't get along with. I get that she's trying to socialize, but why, out of everyone in this party, did you choose to talk to someone who takes embarrassing photos of you and talks shit??

-- So this poodle hellhound took a photo of Loona throwing up that one time at a party she participated in. A party before this one of course. But last I checked, it was implied in ep 3 season 1 that Loona had never been to a party before and the one that Tex invited her to (the one in the episode) would be her first one. The party that Loona vomited at should’ve been her first one instead of the one Beezlebub is running. Not to mention that she has met some of these hellhounds before and is known as “Lunatic Loona” by most of them. This folks is yet another retcon.

-- Loona calls the poodle a bitch, leaving everybody completely shocked for some reason. “Ooooh! Teacher! She just said a bad word!” That’s seriously what they’re acting like. As if NOBODY in this wasted ass party (or in hell at all) has ever said a bad word before. If y’all don’t grow tf up-

-- I’m sorry, but if y’all asked me what I thought The seven deadly sin of Gluttony would look like, NEVER in my LIFE would I have pictured THIS--

I know I cannot have been the only one high off shrooms the moment I seen this character design. . . She looks like a concept art of an OC that was made a 12-year-old Vivziepop. 

 So first off, she calls herself Queen Bee... but is shaped like the rest of these furry fanservice mutts. She’s just another wolf/fox with only a little bit of bug-like features to pass off that she’s only. . . part bee. But why not just make her a FULL BEE??? Why does she have to look like a whole lava lamp hellhound??? Like, I know the lava lamp feature was supposed to be based off her personality, but why can’t that just be her hair?? Why do you have to add that part to her STOMACH!!?? I can’t even tell if that’s just apart of her clothes or her actual body! Either way, its too much!! It must’ve been hard as sh*t to animate her!!!

It doesn’t even make sense that she looks like a hellhound anyway!! Hellhounds are supposed to be in the lowest rank right beside imps and Beezlebub looks like one of them, only with an extra pair of arms!! Once again, why can’t she just be a BEE or something???

-- I always forget that Helluva Boss is supposed to be a musical. Probably because it just doesn’t fit as one at this point, especially with this pop music. When it comes to musicals, the point in the songs is that we would have to feel empathy for whoever’s singing and they also tell a story while we get a sense in what we’re about to see, and it also drops hints in what will happen next. But THIS song, it’s just a little pop music talking about sweets while also introducing Beezlebub. I get that its the point in pop music; there’s not much meaning to them and it’s only meant for you to enjoy and sing along with, but you can’t really call this show a musical when music like this is being played. Like I said from before, it’s still fairly catchy. I’ll admit that, but I could hardly feel for it.

-- I don’t wanna badge Kesha for her acting skills. It’s not like she’s been in a lot of films anyway. I mean, she’s a pop singer first and always, so that’s fair. But it was pretty, meh? Like, she kinda sounded like she didn’t even wanna be there in the studio and is only reading her lines instead of actually ACTING them while putting little emotion in what she’s saying. Honestly, most of Beelzebub’s lines are kinda pointless anyway. Like she’s just saying random bizarre monologues that I can hardly care about or even listen to. I can’t even tell if I was supposed to laugh at them or what. Seems like to me the writers only put those lines in the script just to hear the famous Ke$ha talk more. Not to mention that some of what she said sounded completely unnecessary and weird. For instance, Beelzebub mentioned how she was associated with Satan and thinks of him as her brother, but also finds him hot without his shirt on and said that she could “hit that”. . . . . Uhh, not exactly something you should say or even THINK about your brother figure ma’am. Why y’all gotta have Kesha say all that?? I can definitely see why she wouldn’t wanna act out these scripts!! She must’ve felt hella uncomfortable reading them!

And Viv, WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND THE INCEST JOKES!!??

-- Okay, so . . . . Vortex, a lower class hellhound, and Beelzebub, one of the seven deadly sins being Gluttony (which means she a higher rank) dating?. . . Um, last I checked, a lower class and someone of higher up than that is kinda frowned upon by most of the demons in hell, as seen with how some people reacted to Blitzo and Stolas’s relationship. But for some reason, no one seems to react to Tex and Bee’s relationship?? Why is it that people mock Stolas and Blitzo for being a thing, but Tex and Bee can walk around and hold hands scott free??? I can tell that Viv just doesn't care anymore about the ranking system SHE made up.

-- I don’t really see Vortex and Bee as a couple anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I actually find it cute they’re together and even like the ship a little bit. But from what little interactions I’ve seen between them, kinda just seems like they’re more platonic best friends then boyfriend and girlfriend. I guess if we we’re to dig deep into they’re relationship, then I might see something, but . . . . I dunno, that’s probably just me.

--  Loona is so hard to read, especially now. The whole time she’s there, she’s just feeling super uncomfortable, like she doesn't even wanna be there even though she's with Vortex, who's the only person she seems to be more at ease with out of everyone in the party. Even when Bee is super welcoming and nice to her, Loona still feels bitter while not even liking her (Probably because Bee is dating Tex). And then for some reason, she just ups and leaves then starts to... tear up?? It's not too clear to me why she’s feeling sad. You can’t blame me for not knowing or picking up on it. It’s not like she was doing much of anything other than standing there and barely talking. How am I supposed to know what she’s really feeling and why she’s feeling it when she’s given no dialogue?

-- I'm reminded that Loona still acts so bitter around Blitzo and it's honestly irritating. She calls to ask him to pick her up and when he asks her if she was doing okay, she responded with such attitude! Aren’t we supposed to be sympathizing with her here??? I don’t care how frustrated she feels right now, especially since she has no reason to be. And I just love it how when people see her and say, "Oh hey Blitzo! Is that your daughter?" And she quickly responds, "I'm his ADOPTED daughter!" Like bitch. . . WAS ANYONE ASKING THAT!! He’s your family!! Paper or no paper!! DEAL WITH IT!! And no shit your adopted!! People can see that he’s an imp and you’re a HELLHOUND!!! Stop being so defensive!! 

-- Are you for real right now. . . . . . 

You were getting all teary-eyed n shit, wanting to go home but as soon as some hellhound hottie starts flirting with you, you immediately get over it and change your mind in less than 5 seconds before you’re about to leave???? Like you don’t even think about it?? Viv, where are you getting at here???

-- I can’t really say much about Blitzo right now. He’s barely there anyway, only making an appearance in the last 10 minutes of the episode for comic relief and a pity party.

-- Viv must really don’t know what to do with her female characters and how to go about ‘em. Loona’s shown to be introverted and sad at first to straight up confident and lively around everyone in a matter of seconds. She’s so quick to make friends and get along with other hellhounds at the party as if it was no issue from before when it was. We don’t even get to see any progression of bonding with these out-of-nowhere friends she’s making. And all because of some dude that called her hot!!! It kinda makes me question on why Loona was even feeling sad in the first place since it was so easy for her to gain confidence.

-- Y’all, I think I’m convinced right now that the only reason Loona doesn’t like Beelzebub is because she’s dating her crush! Like- there’s nothing else to it. Bee and Tex are dating, Loona is still crushing Tex and that’s why she doesn’t like Beelzebub. Not to mention she’s possibly jealous because she feels inferior to her. She’s super outgoing, social, and could easily get along with anyone, something Loona can’t easily do (though that alone shouldn’t even matter because Loona already managed to make friends and some random hellhound flirted with her). You CANNOT convince me otherwise. And if that is the reason, then honey, you’re gonna have to let that go. For real!! You’re lucky that Tex even likes you enough to want to be your friend.

So Bee and Tex confront Loona about Blitzo, saying that he’s been drinking a lot (obviously) and that he’s going overboard with the partying. They suggested that Loona go check on him to make sure he’s okay and that he doesn’t cause some kind of scene (Then again, I don’t see why Bee would care. The point of her being the sin of Gluttony IS to go overboard with nearly anything. I mean- not the whole point, but it’s a common characteristic, so I don’t think she should be worried about it. I guess it’s good to know she’s considerate though.) Then all of a sudden, Loona snaps mainly at Bee and gets so hostile towards her saying, “You don’t know anything about my dad.” such and such, and I’m just like, “Ugh, again with your attitude!!!” 

For one, its pretty bold of you to stand up to a higher rank considering she could squash you in an instant.

But I mean- WHAT IS WITH THE SUDDEN HOSTILITY??? And most people wanna validate her, saying, “It was only a trauma response. You gotta understand that Loona is new to this and she’s not used to people suddenly caring and being kind. She’s just having a hard time trusting people and she did apologize.” Y’all. . . don’t even- First off, Loona's reaction to Bee felt too rushed and forced to be considered traumatic. Second off, someone having trauma does not excuse an unnecessary shitty attitude, especially when Bee has been so kind to Loona this whole episode. Third off, for someone who doesn’t trust people so easily and isn’t used to being given kindness, Loona seemed pretty quick to make friends with everyone at the party who were nice to her. She was sure as hell quick to get along with Vortex after only knowing him for a short amount of time! And he was kind to her too. She wasn’t being bitchy to them then. But when BEELZEBUB is showing care or kindness, Loona will suddenly start to act bitchy??? And because of some past trauma?? PLEASE!!

And some fans would go on to say, "She's just getting over a heartbreak. It takes a while to get over your crush."

They're saying this as if Loona is head over heels in love with Vortex when she was simply CRUSHING on him and from the moment she saw him. And yes, there IS a huge difference especially when Loona only knew Vortex in that short amount of time. I would understand Loona falling in love with Tex if they actually had the time to bond after ep 3. . . . but they didn't. At least there was no indication that they did. And on top of that, just for the record, Loona already knew that Tex had a girlfriend the same day she met him!! Which was five episodes ago!! So before y'all go on and say "She needs time to get over her crush", she should've already gotten over it by now!! I dunno why she's still crushing and blushing around him as if she believed he liked her back!

Why did she seem so shocked after Tex introduced his Bee anyway? As if Loona never recalled him mentioning he had a girlfriend back in ep 3. And say that was the reason why she was sad . . . why would it would it make her sad!!?? Like I said, she should’ve already known Tex had a girlfriend since he brought it up straight to her face. I would understand her being upset if he didn’t tell her and she didn’t find out about Bee until the last minute when Tex introduced her as his girlfriend. Then it would actually make sense for Loona to still crush on him the entire time because she wouldn’t have known he was taken and would believe she still had a shot with him. In this case, it would be understandable why it would make her sad. . . . but we didn’t go that route. Instead, we had to go about it the “Vivzie Way” (the more complicated way).

Point blank, Loona seems to only dislike Bee because she's with Tex and is jealous. And she shouldn't have reacted the way she did out of jealousy when Bee was only showing concern for Blitzo. Trauma or no trauma, I don’t care. It was unnecessary.

-- “Blitzo! BLITZO! Where are you, shithead!!”

Loona . . . . how’re you gonna get all defensive about your dad and then go straight back to calling him names?

-- For once, Loona decides she actually wants to care about her dad (mainly cuz she was told to). I guess its nice to see a cute father/daughter moment between Blitzo and Loona for once. Can’t say I feel for it at all though especially when it immediately starts to become completely pointless a season and two episodes later when we see this happen-

Seriously, how're they gonna have Loona and Blitzo bond by the end of the episode only for Loona to go back to treating him like shit the next? It’s like whatever build-up was being made between them immediately collapsed a season later, and over something as petty as a mild criticism Blitzo gave Loona. You can just TELL that Viv and the other writers don’t think before writing these scenes down!!

Also, how is it that Loona will get all concerned for Blitzo making out with folks in the party while wasted even though she was literally cheering for him to chug a whole barrel of liquor in order to beat Bee in a game. What’s sad about this is that it was one of the only times Loona calls him “Dad”. . . . In a drinking game . . . . .

-- Blitzo: "Loony, will you be there for me?"

Loona: . . .Be where?"

Be invisible, obviously. . . . Frickin' idiot. . . .

-- We're supposed to feel bad for Blitzo, but it's kinda hard for me to do that when he wasn't even the main focus in this episode at all when he should been. Still, it's not like I could feel sorry for him anyway since he brought that whole Ozzie's mess on himself.

For now, I think that's all that could be said about this episode. I might just make some edits if I feel if I left something off. But the whole gist of it is that I feel like this episode was just a whole lotta nothin'. I don’t even think Loona learned anything this entire episode. Of course, the whole plot here was Loona learning to socialize and make friends with everyone, but we didn’t even get to see any of that. And she clearly didn’t learn anything since she was influenced by some rando calling her hot. It’s honestly sad, for real. The females in this show needs some serious work not just in their stories, but their characters too.