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#yeah that angst would SHATTER me
bookshopbentley · 1 year
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literally the only thing worse than if crowley doesn’t call aziraphale “angel” ONCE in s3 if they interact before they’re crowley and aziraphale again is if crowley DOES call him “Angel” . with the capital letter and the tonal shift . bc that’s what he is . an angel . yknow . because he wanted to be part of heaven again so badly .
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creativebrainrot · 1 year
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HNNG havin THOUGHTS and VISIONS
I'm replaying the story on my EU alt and I picked the vigil for sylas. Trahearne in those story instances has a lil bit of FightBoy in him and I like leaning into that for my au trahearne, how he grows into being The Marshal(TM)- need to talk more about that too BUT
Trahearne starts as a sapling scholar, forced to play roles and to chase a "destiny" he may or may not truly care about. Ive seen others talk about him not really care about fighting the dragons like treating it all as a checklist for his wyld hunt- I like using that as where he starts. Heart of Thorns shows him what he couldn't see for awhile, he watches his best and first friend almost die in front of him, trying to save his life. That's The Moment he realizes what everyone has been fighting for the entire time, and when he realizes he wants to fight for tyria too.
So he deliberately steps into The Pact Marshal as a sort of persona. an image. He uses it for diplomacy, for speeches, for everything Official(TM) and he has the choice to step out of it. To just be "Trahearne" again whenever he wants. To spend time with his friends and his cats and read books and talk to his sister etc etc. He doesn't have to stay "The Marshal" in his private life.
Maelgwyn kind of does have to stay "The Beast" even in private. He has no one to REALLY share himself with. His real personality aside from the entire Bit of being The Desert Beast. Maelgwyn doesn't have a tree, he doesn't have friends separate from his persona as The Desert Beast. He can't turn it off he can't escape it. He did chase after a persona for himself. But he's trapped by his persona whereas Trahearne can find being the Marshal to feel like a purpose, something freeing.
Maelgwyn sought out his reputation because he had to. It was his best shot at assimilating or having any amount of normalcy. To gain a reputation that preceded him. And he does enjoy it but he couldn't escape it if he wanted to. He doesn't. But he IS trapped. Even when it doesn't feel like that.
Trahearne isn't as trapped- "The Pact Marshal" could be anyone. It just happens to be him. He can promote the Commander any day and be free of it all if he wanted. "The Desert Beast" will never be anyone except Maelgwyn. If he dies his legend lives on. If he leaves his legend stays and will welcome him back with open arms if he ever returned. In fact if he left his legend may very well haunt him.
Which is another thing. Maelgwyn hates leaving Elona BECAUSE his legend won't go with him. (and he hates non-dry desert climates.) He NEEDS the safety of everyone ATLEAST being at peace with his presence. When Divinity's Reach citizens stare or gawk or lust for him he hates it. Because he doesn't recognize it. Because they aren't familiar. Because it's not directed at the Beast. It's at him. He hates that. He hates being seen as a monster.
Trahearne is completely capable of finding SEVERAL small towns that don't give a shit about him being a firstborn or a sylvari or the pact's marshal or even at all KNOW about any of that.
Maelgwyn will be haunted by a reputation for the rest of his life whether it's because of his appearance- his stature and scars and coloration, his eyes and his demeanor. Whether he is "The Beast" or not.
Trahearne can just. be A Guy.
Okay enough rambling my main point: Maelgwyn chose his persona and he sought out his reputation and eventually it soured to him a bit even though he'd never willingly give it up.
Trahearne had a destiny and a reputation put on him and he didn't enjoy it- he just followed the steps he was told to, until he decided his own path and welcomed a persona that felt freeing.
Also for Trahearne its much more of an actual persona whereas Maelgwyn's relationship to his legend as The Desert Beast does border on an alter ego thing. Not by too much they are both very much personas but Maelgwyn uses his to hide his actual emotions and feelings and thoughts and all the like from even himself. He is not good with the FeelingThings for a long while.
They both have an interesting dynamic with their own relationships to their own roles. i might not be good at vocalizing it myself but my brain is goin 78mph abt this atm
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sttoru · 10 months
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‘satoru hates arguments. even more so when your conflicts cause your baby daughter to be upset as well.’
☀︎|tags. (girl) dad!gojo satoru x female reader. fluff, angst, comfort. mention of arguments between parents. comfort & happy ending, though!
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satoru hates having arguments with you. he hates it whenever an argument turns into the silent treatment. he apologises and apologises — yet nothing helps to change your mood sometimes.
ever since you got married and had your daughter, you were a bit more sensitive to the smallest of things than usual. it wasn’t like satoru despised you for it; in fact, he understands that motherhood was and is stressful. that man was nothing but supportive to you.
though, your little arguments were indirectly having an impact on the mental state of your baby. you didn’t even know an one year old could sense the tension between her parents.
“mama, mama!” your daughter appears out of nowhere, waddling over to you standing in the kitchen. she had barely just learnt how to walk. her tiny hand reaches for yours and she points at the doorway with her other, “go, mama, go.”
you curiously let your little girl lead you towards where she was pointing at, only to arrive at the living room. satoru was sitting on the couch, idly staring at the ceiling, other hand fiddling with one of your daughter’s toys. he seemed deep in thought. even exhausted and clearly not his playful self.
“mama, go! mama go papa.”
satoru’s head turns to the side at the cute sound of his favourite little girl. he smiles brightly at her return to the living room, only for his smile to fade just for a second at the sight of you next to her. he isn’t mad at you—more like sad that you still seemed upset with him.
your daughter tugs at your index finger. she apparently wants you to go to her dad—wants you to interact or talk with him. her big eyes were staring up at you with a pleading look in them.
you were in a dilemma. of course, you wanted to put your daughter’s mind at ease. you could just fake interact with satoru—or actually just make it up—but there was still a small part of you that needed time alone. you weren’t yet mentally ready for another confrontation. you needed time to think it out.
however, part of you also knows that your earlier argument was kind of silly. you don’t even fully remember what it was about, that’s how irrelevant it was to your brain.
“c’mon, pumpkin. ‘tis not nice for you to bother mama while she’s cooking.” satoru’s soft voice startles you back to reality. he had already gotten up and crouched down to pick your daughter up in his arms, kissing her chubby cheeks to distract her; “mama’s busy, ‘kay? let’s go play with papa.”
even satoru knew that your argument had caused your little girl to feel some kind of stress. she didn’t fully comprehend the situation, though she was clearly uncomfortable by the fact that her parents were not acting nice and lovey dovey like they usually would.
“no, papa. mama!” the baby whines and points at you and then at satoru, her little legs kicking. it absolutely broke satoru’s heart — shattered it into pieces. oh, how he wishes to never fight with you again. the sight of his little bundle of joy trying to mend things between you two with all she could was simply too much.
satoru looks down at you and notices the way you look at your one year old as well. the same way he did; with guilt and sadness. he sighs softly and without further thought, wraps his free arm around your shoulders and brings you close to his body.
“c’mere,” satoru murmurs as he holds both your daughter and you to his chest, “let me hold my two girls, yeah? may i, sweetheart? please.”
your husband asks for your consent. if you were okay with this—even when he needs it desperately, to hold you again in his arms and to make it right to you—your comfort comes first. if you weren’t ready yet to make up, he’d let you go. even if it’d hurt him immensely.
you don’t answer with your words and instead let your actions do the talking. you wrap one arm around satoru’s torso, the other cradling your daughter closer to both you and him.
it was like nothing mattered anymore in that moment, except for your little family. your worries, stress and anxiety about everything and anything had vanished into thin air as you felt the embrace of the two people you held dear.
your daughter finally giggles—a sound satoru and you had greatly missed. you close your eyes and just rest against your husband’s body.
“mama papa, wuv!” the little girl squeals in happiness as she excitedly babbles on, causing both satoru and you to laugh as well. the white-haired sorcerer leaves a big peck on the baby’s forehead before doing the same to you.
“mhm, papa loves mama veeery much.” satoru hums and kisses your forehead again, solely because he missed being affectionate to you, “papa loves his sweet little angel too.”
you can’t help but chuckle along with your one year old—who seemed to be extremely content in her parents’ loving embrace again. this is how it always should be.
“mama also loves papa very much.” you reply, causing your husband to regain his usual big grin. he finally got what he longed for; to have you look and talk to him with love. your silence may have lasted only a few hours, but it felt like it had been a couple cruel months to the sorcerer.
your eyes meet his again and all was well. you smile at him and he smiles back before leaning in to kiss you gently on the lips. satoru’s arm that was draped over your shoulder moves down to curl around your lower back, pulling you as close to him as your bodies would allow.
he pulls back after a few seconds and just lovingly stares at your face again—eyes holding an affection only you had ever been able to witness. your eyes told the same story; nothing could separate you two. ever.
“waaaaah! mama papa, me, me!”
the romantic air between you two suddenly gets interrupted by your daughter’s excited demands. she was demanding kisses as well, puffing her cheeks up as she got ready for it.
“ohh? seems like our angel wants some kisses too.” satoru laughs and nods his head at the baby in his other arm whilst looking at you, “shall we?”
you giggle and nod back—not able to refuse your little girl any longer.
it was not long before the living room fills with the sounds of your child’s laughter, which was caused by the continuous kisses and tickles she was receiving from both satoru and you.
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snoopyearss · 6 months
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When jjk characters call you ‘clingy’
Feat. crybaby-ish!reader
Gojo, geto, toji
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Cw: hurt, guilt, angst (if you squint)
This is inspiration from a mini series i read a few days ago by user @fumekara. It was so good, I love me some angst to hurt/comfort.
But i also wrote this from personal experience too, my bad yall i treat this like my own personal diary
Anyway, enjoy!
Satoru Gojo
He was pissed. He doesn’t typically show it much, but when he does, he gets kind of scary. He’s more quiet, his voice gets deeper, and his whole body language just shifts. So when the higher-ups piss him off after a very long meeting, the last thing he needs is someone to pounce on him. He usually loves it when you greet him at the door when you’re home for work. But today, he just wanted to strip off his clothes and hop into bed.
Gojo huffs as he leaves the elevator of your shared apartment and grabs his keys from his pocket to unlock the door. As he opens the door, he sees you in the kitchen grabbing ingredients for dinner. “Hi baby,” You softly greeted him. “Hey.” was all he said back. It confused you for a second because he’s never greeted you like that before.
“Is everything okay?” You walk up to him to try to kiss him on his cheek. “God- Y/n, please.” He grumbled, walking right past you and placing his briefcase on the table. “I’m just trying to help,” you defended, walking up to take his coat off for him. “At least let me take your coat-” That’s when he snapped. Something he’s never done to you before. “Y/n, I fuckin’ got it! Geez, you’re so fucking clingy!” He aggressively shrugged your hands off his shoulder. It scared you a bit, to see him so angry at you. You were confused, all you wanted to do was make him feel better. Were you really that clingy?
“I-I’m sorry.” your voice came out shaky and defeated. Hearing how small your voice sounded in response to him lashing out made Satoru’s heart shatter into thousands of pieces. He wanted to turn around and apologize, but the words weren’t coming out. By the time he turned to face you, Your back was already facing him, preparing dinner for the both of you as tears rolled down your face.
Suguru Geto
It was 2 weeks after Suguru deflected. 2 weeks since he committed mass murder in that village. 2 weeks since he left Satoru, Shoko, and the others. It was weighing on him and you could tell. Nothing but him, his two adopted girls, a few people who believed in his cause, and you.
You promised him you would go wherever he would go, and he was so grateful for it. He loves you deeply and would do anything for you. But some days just threw everything on him at one time, today was one of those days. Monkeys non-sorcerers begging him to exercise curses left and right, Nanako and Mimiko begging him to take them shopping, missing payments from those begging for his service. It was all too much. And the guilt was eating away at him.
He genuinely wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying and it annoyed him how much talking you were doing in his ear at that moment. You were both sitting outside watching the two girls play in the yard. “Y/n,” He interrupted you. “Don’t you have something better to do than to just bother me?” He sighed sounding so condescending. “What do you mean?”
“Must you always cling to me? Isn’t there something else you can do besides following me everywhere I go, at all times of the day?!” His voice raised a bit as if he was talking to a non-sorcerer. “I didn’t realize I was. I was only trying to tell you about what me and the girls did today,” You defended. “You’re always so busy, I rarely get to see you anymore.”
“Yeah, because you’re always underneath me. Sometimes-” He stopped mid-sentence because of the saddened look on your face. His eyes softened a bit. “Sometimes I just need my space.” He sighed. You only nodded and started to walk back inside. “Ok, I understand.” Your voice cracked. Leaving Suguru alone to think about what he had just said to you. As if he didn’t feel guilt then, he definitely feels guilt now.
Toji Fushiguro
Toji was a bit frustrated today. He was cheated out of his money after doing a side job, the bet he placed on the race he kept constantly telling you about fell through, leaving him with zero, and to top it all off, the child support payment was coming up. You being an empath and knowing your boyfriend so well, you wanted to help him any way you could.
He was sitting in the chair by the island in the kitchen with his fingers combing through his hair. He was on the phone with multiple people at once, trying to solve his money issues. “Shiu, you guaranteed me way more money than this! How am I supposed to cover this months child support with this amount?!” You walked up to where he was, wondering what all the commotion was about. “Baby?” You softly called out. You could hear Shiu on the other line trying to calm him down and explain the situation.
“That sounds like a bunch of bull and you know it Shiu, you better have my money by next week thursday or else I’m taking it myself.” He grumbled and hung up the phone. “Baby,” You gently placed a hand on his broad shoulder.
“What, Y/n.” He sternly said. You merely blinked a few times. “I was just checking to see if you were okay. What’s with the attitude?”
“I’m fuckin’ frustrated okay? Please leave. You aren’t helping right now.” He waved you off.
“I barely did anything, I just wanted to know if you needed help with anything-”
“Jesus, I said enough! I don’t need your help. Fuck, you’re so clingy.” His voice booming caused you to remove your hand from his shoulder in fear. Seeing your reaction caused him to think about what he said and how he said it. The last think he wanted to do was scare you. He wanted you to feel safe around him. But with the way you jumped at how he raised his voice, it saddened him a bit.
“Y/n, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” He was cut off by the sound of his child wailing in the background. “I’ll take care of it.” You said in the smallest voice, not even leaving him time to protest against it and apologize.
“Fuck.”
Part 2
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earthtooz · 2 years
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x : NO FEAR :*+゚ i wanna love you with no fear !
in which: itoshi rin rejected you, so why isn't he handling your avoidance well?
warnings: 5k wc, fluff with minor angst, jealous!rin, food cw, swearing, reo is reader's best friend, COLLEGE!AU, gn!reader, non-canon complaint
a/n: happy valentine's day !!! shoutout to @ryekoo for finally giving me inspo on what to do for the rin fic of my event - u rly saved my life <3
↳ 5K EVENT MASTERLIST ༉‧₊
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you:i’m going to end you. <reo3: i’m too pretty to die ._. you: and you told me i was too pretty for itoshi rin to reject!?!?!?! <reo3: oh... <reo3: i’m sorry. <reo3: condolences fr.
with a disappointed sigh, you pocket your phone, decidedly ignoring the next few messages that reo sends as you wait for your bus. he owes you a million yen for the amount of grief and distress he’s currently putting you through, especially with the way he shattered all hopes you had with your love life.
well, hopes that you were stupid enough to feed into because this was itoshi rin you’re talking about; possibly the most standoffish, calculated, and devastatingly gorgeous man you’ve ever met in your life. yet, despite his detestable personality, you still found yourself falling hook, line, and sinker for the man, despite his insults, cold comments, and dismissive attitude.
maybe it’s masochism. 
now that you look back on it, rin’s rejection seemed almost inevitable. even if you lead yourself to hope with all the times you caught him staring at you, the prompt replies to your messages, and willingness to somewhat tolerate you during group projects, it was rather obvious that this would be the outcome to your heartfelt confession. 
‘i don’t see you like that’.
it’s cringeworthy simply thinking about it. now you’re going to have another memory that’ll haunt you for the rest of your life.
recalling the expression he made after your confession; eyebrows scrunched and lips tugged into a slight frown, was traumatising enough for you to wish for the ground to swallow you whole. his face will plague you for an uncertain amount of time because today truly, was so very humbling.
the sight of your bus approaching your stop rouses you from the crevices of your thoughts and after you jump on and settle yourself into a seat in the relatively empty carriage, you bring your phone out to text reo again. he’d sent four messages since.
&lt;reo3: this doesn’t make any sense we all thought rin was into you &lt;reo3: like DOWN BAD into you<reo3: everyone on the team has literally made bets on you two <reo3: i’m sorry :c r u okay?  you: yeah. just gotta take the L and move on you: hey at least i’m free for valentines <reo3: LET’S GOOO we’re definitely doing something <reo3: i’ll be a better valentines than r*n you: you’re sexier too babes xoxo <reo3: duh!
maybe you’ll let reo see another day. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
your university schedule was never the same after the ‘itoshi rin’ fiasco.
it was never an amazing schedule to begin with since a few classes were quite inconvenient, and there’s only so much to enjoy out of your seminars. the fun part about them was being able to sit beside rin and talk to him whenever you could without getting waved off, but since his heartless decline of your feelings, acting ‘buddy-buddy’ wouldn’t be acceptable. so you resorted to sit by yourself in a section of the space you’ve never really occupied before, busying yourself on your phone as students walked in to class.
despite the temptation to look at the door to see when rin would come in, you do not budge one bit, eyes glued to your phone screen (which had nothing entertaining on it). this meant that you couldn’t see the confusion on his face when he didn’t see you in your normal spot and how it merged further into a look of offence when he instead spots you across the room.
reluctantly taking his usual seat, rin’s gaze lingers on you, hoping to meet your eyes at least once. but upon your insistence to pretend your phone was more important than him, he sits down, practically flopping onto his chair with his backpack cushioning his fall. 
sitting here feels a little empty. rin can’t help but think how it used to be much better when you insisted on being next to him.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── 
&lt;;reo3: you can come now rin isn’t here yet
you: kk b there soon
the trek across campus towards the university’s soccer field, although long, is harmless enough, especially since you were doing a favour for your best friend by bringing the soccer guards and water bottle that he left at your dorm. the harmful part was the looming threat of itoshi rin’s presence and your fear that you would encounter him on your way. 
all you needed to do was drop in quickly and leave. 
when you get to the field, nagi’s the one who sees you first from where he was lounging on the bleaches, changed in his soccer gear. 
“oh, y/n,” he mumbles, sitting up. “hello.”
“hey nagi. are you trying to nap before practice or something?” you ask.
“yeah.” 
“won’t that drain you though before practice starts? you’ve got like… five minutes.”
“still classified as a power nap. wanna collect a power up before startin’.”
amusing as ever, he is. “sure. hey, you know where reo is?”
“he’s changed, probably warming up with isagi and bachira and whoever else.”
“shouldn’t you be doing that too?”
“not until reo forces me to.”
as if on cue, a friendly and very familiar voice calls out nagi’s name and you’re delighted to see the purple-haired in question. you can finally give him his stupid stuff back; the ones you’ve been holding in your hands this entire time like an idiot.
“come on nagi!” reo exclaims, jogging over. a smile appears on his face when he sees you. “yo! y/n! thanks for bringing my things.”
“‘s not a problem. next time i’ll burn them so don’t leave them again,” you counter as the purple-haired takes his things from you with an eye roll. “i filled up your water bottle for you.” 
he places his things down before sitting beside nagi to put his guards on. “so considerate even whilst terrorising me.”
“of course.”
“seriously though, thank you for bringing my things.”
“not a problem. i’m gonna head back to my dorm to study so i’ll see you later. bye reo, bye nagi,” you wave at the two, fixing your backpack strap before turning around to leave the field, only to bump face-first into someone.
the apology that surfaces on your tongue quickly withers away when you lock eyes with a pair of steely, teal ones, partially hidden by strands of dark hair. he looks at you like he has something to say.
but you’re not ready to hear it. 
“uh, hi rin! gotta go!” you squeak before stepping to the side and running away, leaving rin to stare in bewilderment after you.
part of him has the urge to run after you. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
<reo3: isagi’s invited a bunch of us to the on campus screening of spirited away
<reo3: wanna come?
you: ykw why not
you: not like i have essays to write
<reo3: FUCK THEM ESSAYS! 
you: YOU’RE RIGHT SPIRITED AWAY IS BETTER !
if you knew that this would lead you to be seated (uncomfortably) between reo and isagi, who acted as the only barrier between you and an-unnamed-man (rin), then perhaps you would’ve dedicated yourself to your essay rather than a fun opportunity to hang out with your friends. 
1500 words sounds better than having to pretend like there wasn’t an icy cold stare penetrating the back of your head every time you turned to talk to reo, or isagi trying to keep his interactions up with rin so the latter wouldn’t try to talk to you.
you owe isagi a vending machine drink after this because a ‘thank you’ will never suffice. 
it’s easy enough to forget about rin when the movie plays and isagi begins whispering little pieces of commentary to you from time to time, eliciting giggles from you that you try to suppress to not annoy those around you. however, each sound that slipped past your lips was enough to make the dark-haired boy scrunch his face in disgust, an ugly, green monster climbing up his throat when he catches a glimpse of how happy you seemed with someone that wasn’t him. it kills him to see how easily it is for you to just ignore him like your friendship never existed.
since the campus movie was scheduled during a cool but bearable, autumn dusk, you severely underestimated how cold the night would get. heating wasn’t the best in the gymnasium so the committee had instructed everyone to bring their own blankets and warm covers, yet in your haste, you couldn’t bring adequate layers.
so after a while of trying to warm yourself up and convincing yourself that you were warm enough with a measly sweatshirt, rin notices from the corner of his eye how you kept rubbing your arms. 
he doesn’t hesitate to take off the fleece jacket that he was wearing over his university jumper. sure, it will be significantly colder without his outer layer, but rin’s willing to suffer as long as you were okay (when has he ever been this considerate?), except he stops when he sees nagi handing you his very oversized jumper. you accept it with a gracious smile and the white-haired boy merely shrugs before going back to watching the film. rin, on the other hand, feels a cauldron of rage brewing within him.
the sight makes his chest twist, wringing him dry as he stares dejectedly at how snug you seem in someone else’s clothes. the green monster inside of rin bubbles in contempt, a being that makes him want to rip the hoodie off you and replace it with his own for you to wrap yourself up in. he wants you to be content with him- happy because of him, not because of another.
you confessed to him only two weeks ago- barely even two weeks ago, so how could you so easily forget about him and move on? pretend like his rejection didn’t shatter you and him when he saw a devastation like no other on your pretty face?
rin doesn’t know how much longer he can live like this. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
the following tuesday, you’re already seated in your new spot for your seminar, busy setting up your laptop in preparation when rin walks in. you see him from the corner of your eye, backpack slung around his shoulder, hands tucked unassumingly in his pockets as all 185cm of him saunters towards the seats. however, when you notice that he bypasses his normal spot and walks even further out of your peripheral vision, alarms blare deafeningly in your head.
you freeze when you hear someone take the seat behind you.
there’s a hard gaze on the back of your head, one that roots you to your spot and wills you not to turn around.
sneaking out your phone from your bag, you hide it so that rin can’t see it from his angle. 
you: RIN IS SITTING BEHIND ME OH NO
you: terrible start to valentines day smh
<reo3: WHAT!??!!???!???! fr.
you: THIS IS AN EMERGENCY I’M GOING TO DISINTEGRATE RIGHT NOW
<reo3: maybe *don’t* do that???? 
<reo3: WHY’S HE SITTING BEHIND YOU?????
you: FUCK IF I KNOW IT FEELS LIKE HE’S THROWING DAGGERS AT MY HEAD
<reo3: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
you: CRY???????????? IDFK???????????
you: oh fuck class is about to start
you: i’ll let you know if anything happens
<reo3: STAY SAFE 
you tuck your phone away with fear and dread looming over you, personified through the form of itoshi rin, who sits so indifferently behind you, head propped on his hand. you hear his pen click behind you and you don’t even need to see him to know that he’s taking out that stupid notebook of his since he preferred to take notes by hand. you want to turn around and rip said book into shreds.
as the professor starts the class, you try your best to shake rin out of your thoughts, wanting to leave him behind in the depths of your mind so you can concentrate on this damn elective. none of the notes you were typing onto your document made sense and it felt like everything the professor was saying went in one ear then out the other. curse rin for having this effect on you. 
at least you get to gossip with reo after this.
though your seminar was only 60 minutes, it might as well have been 60 years because of how significantly older you feel at the end of it. the weight of rin’s stare was heavy on your shoulders when you hurriedly grab your things and make a dash for the exit.
well. you try to make a dash for the exit because somehow, rin gained the ability to teleport and beat you there, grabbing your wrist unceremoniously before pulling you into the hallways. you fumble with your phone, hurriedly texting reo.
you: UHH MAYDAY I MGHT NEEE TO SKIP OUR PLANS
<reo3: WHAT’S HAPPENING?????
you: RIN IS DRSGGING ME SIMEWHERE IDK WHERE
you: MY LOCARION IS ON LIFE360
you: I LUV YOU STUPID WHORE
<reo3: WHDJFWIJAIDJFAWHAT THE FUCK????
“hey!” you exclaim, helplessly being pulled by rin’s long strides, shutting your phone off as you try to match his eagerness. he could at least be a little more considerate and lighten up that grip of his on your wrist. “rin- what? where are we going?”
“you’ll see,” he responds gruffly.
your mind blanks despite the hurricane of questions that circulate your mind. how did you get here? is the delirium finally hitting you after countless sleepless nights? you stayed up until 2am last night to make valentine’s chocolates for your friends so maybe it’s the sugar and the sleep deprivation. 
as rin pulls you through the hallways, you think about how weird it is to allow him this close to you again- well, you didn’t exactly allow him, he kind of just… invaded your personal space. but after a whole week of not talking to him, responding dryly to his texts, avoiding your regular hangout spots, and overall pretending like he doesn’t exist, being exposed to his intimidating presence once more is… exhilarating? unreal? 
“wait, can we stop for a second?” you demand, breaking out of your funk when you step outside as if the harshness of the sun’s rays woke you up. “i’m so confused right now. where are we going?”
“we’re going to have lunch together at that café you’ve been wanting to try out,” he tells you with a serious expression, not breaking his usual aloof and stern personality. 
rin doesn’t give mixed messages: no, he gives messages that have completely been lost, fallen astray somewhere along the path of communication.
shifting your weight between your feet awkwardly, you tell him: “well, i kinda had valentine’s plans.”
his mask of coolness and uninterest cracks, exposing all the emotions he’s been withholding from surfacing for the past weeks; jealousy, envy, greed, they all manifest through the helpless scrunch of his face. “with who?” asks rin, tone a lot harsher than he had intended, matching the crease of his eyebrows and the frown he was wearing.
it’s the green monster in him talking.
if you were going out with someone else, someone new, rin’s not too sure what he’d do. determination and pettiness can only take a man so far before his resolve cracks and you have the power to crush his heart with a single stomp, extinguishing his flames in one, swift sweep. 
“with reo,” you confess. the dark-haired relaxes again, his face returning to a neutral expression.
“okay. ditch him then.” his audacity is baffling.
“i can’t just do that!” 
“why not?”
“cause that’s a shitty thing to do!” you say, before murmuring under your breath, “not that you’d know the first thing about being polite.” 
“i don’t care, it’s reo, you two hang out everyday. tell him to give me a turn.”
“you’re a horrible person, rin,” you murmur, ignoring the butterflies that erupt in your stomach.
he doesn’t say anything in retaliation, merely eyeing you expectantly, waiting for your next step. huffing, you reluctantly take out your phone as a sign of surrender under his suffocating pressure, muttering complaints under your breath as you find reo’s contact - literally your most recent one, to send him a quick message. almost instantly, your best friend responds with a thumbs up paired with a smirk and you almost want to block him then and there. 
“done.”
“perfect,” rin goes to grab your hand again but you retract from him just in time. when you look up to meet his gaze once more, you see his unimpressed expression whilst he keeps his palm extended towards you expectantly.
“i don’t need your help walking places,” you grumble, not liking how fast your heart was racing.
he gestures to his open palm once more. “i know.”
after a moment of silence, you give in, hesitantly placing your hand in his. with a small grin, rin intertwines your fingers before pulling you to his side. without another word, he begins walking, leaving you to merely follow the brutally fast pace he’s set.
you must’ve looked ridiculous to other people. being dragged around by an 185 cm man, how humbling.
the place rin led you to was not too far from campus; a totally manageable distance for the two of you to remain in silence during the walk. you try to bypass the awkwardness of it all by focusing on other things, like how warm rin’s hand is and how you hope he doesn’t mind your sweaty hands. he seems to be content from what you’ve observed, happily walking beside you whilst sparing a few occasional glances over; ones that you pretend you don’t see whilst admiring the cityscape around you.
there are various valentine’s decorations hung up around the insides of the cafe that made you cringe slightly. although they were very cute, you feel humiliation climbing up your throat, serving as a reminder that you were currently spending a day of love and romance, or whatever, standing beside the very man who rejected you. 
this is the cruellest version of a sick joke.
“welcome!” a cheery voice greets, breaking you out of your thoughts. “table for two?” rin nods. “perfect! are you here for valentine’s day because couples get access to a special menu on top of our regular one.” 
when you open your mouth to reject her offer, rin beats you to it. “we’ll take the valentine’s menu.”
“okay, right this way,” the waitress guides you to an empty table for two that was right by the corner. the atmosphere of the place was cozy with various candles and statement pieces to really bring it together, but you have no time or brain space to appreciate the aesthetic of the café. 
it’s not until the waitress leaves that you speak up, utterly confused. “why’d you get the valentine’s menu, we-”
realisation hits you like a truck. 
“-are we on a date right now?”
rin’s unmoving, save for the purse of his lips as he stares at you. you feel a little foolish right now.
“yeah, we are,” he answers, curtly and concisely.
alarms are blaring in your head, the earth is tremoring below you, there are distant screams somewhere in the back of your mind and all you can manage out is a simple ‘oh’. 
“get what you want, i’ll-” rin begins before you abruptly cut him off.
“-no, hold on, i’m so confused right now,” you rub your temples, staring at the stupid valentine’s day menu decorated with pink and hearts and chocolates. “why?”
“why what?”
“why are we on a date?”
“because it’s valentine’s day?”
“well- i know that part,” you murmur under your breath. “it’s just, y’know, people celebrate this day when they like each other.” and not when one party is miserable because the other rejected them. 
“we do like each other though.”
there are no words to describe the shock you feel. really. not even an anvil dropping on your head could wake you up from whatever dream you are conjuring right now. 
“no, we don’t! i like you, you don’t like me.”
he looks away, the tips of his ears turning red. “that’s not true,” he murmurs, no louder than a whisper, yet your jaw drops all the same at his confession. “i do like you.”
“a week ago you didn’t!” 
“a week ago i wasn’t ready to get into a… relationship… or whatever.”
“oh,” you fix the strap of your bag, feeling slightly awkward. “and you’re ready now all of a sudden?”
“yeah.”
“i don’t believe you.”
“the fuck? why?” 
“you don’t really seem like the type of guy to turn around on yourself like this. what changed?”
rin won’t ever tell you about how much he missed you during these two weeks and how it was his jealousy and greediness that spurred him to act on his feelings. instead, he simply slides the menu to you, pointing to a milkshake-‘lover’s brew’, and since the menu was decorated with pictures on the side, you could see what the concoction consisted of. whipped cream, heart sprinkles, topped with a caramel heart and fairy floss. 
“the milkshake?” you ask, trailing off towards the end. “you hate sweet things and this especially looks like it could give you diabetes.”
the dark-haired shrugs. “so? i thought you’d like it.” 
“sure, but it is kinda pricey for a milkshake.”
he shrugs again, putting his elbows on the table which causes his sleeves of his turtleneck to roll down a little, exposing the shiny silver of his, no doubt expensive, watch. “i’ll pay for us, it’s fine.”
“hold on-”
“i’m paying. end of argument.” 
it’s an offer you can’t really reject. being a university student and all, funds are limited, so wherever you can, you want to avoid withdrawing money out of your account. that said, it doesn’t mean that you don’t feel the slightest bit guilty about draining rin’s, but with how long you’ve been friends, you know that once he’s set his mind to something, it’s hard to change it.
“if you insist,” you grumble, straightening up your spine as you awkwardly fiddle with your shirt. you feel so scrutinised under his gaze, even as you reach for the jug of water and pour two cups of water. “what else should we get?”
the waitress then comes around to take your orders and when she’s gone, conversation flows easily, reverting back to how things were between the two of you (to rin’s relief). he listens as you talk animatedly about the unfortunate series of events you had with your professor the other day, how cute your encounter with the campus dogs were, and the really unfortunate run-in you had with a guy from your shared tutorial classes.
(the dark-haired boy makes a face when you mention another man’s name before his usual face of indifference melts back in.)
“here’s your milkshake,” the waitress says, placing the drink in the middle of the table before walking away, “you guys are really cute by the way.”
“thanks,” rin says calmly, a stark contrast to your flustered reaction.
two straws stick out from the milkshake and when you put one in your mouth, you almost choke when rin takes the other one, causing your noses to bump in the middle. the look he gives you is nothing short of mischievous before pulling away, a knowing smirk playing along his lips. 
“ew. that is really sweet,” he mutters before leaning back, crossing his arms. 
“yeah,” you cough. “it is really sweet.”
recovering from your embarrassment, the rest of lunch goes by quite seamlessly. he goes to pay for everything with a confident tap of his card, causing you to stand awkwardly behind him, keeping all complaints to yourself as it goes through. thanking the waitress, you leave the café hand-in-hand once more. 
“thanks again for paying,” you repeat and rin gives a hum of acknowledgement whilst you two walk aimlessly on the path. “what do you want to do now?”
“i don’t know. do you have anything you want to do?”
“i might have an idea.”
leading him in the direction of a nearby store that just opened recently, you come to a stop in front of a shop that had neon-lights illuminating its inside and claw machines filled with adorable plushies lining along the walls. 
glancing at him, there’s a glimmer of amusement in rin’s eyes as his lips turn upwards into a small smirk. “really?” he asks, looking over at you.
“really. this’ll be fun!” you promise before walking in, the dark-haired following suit as you stop in front of a token-purchasing machine. 
from the corner of your eye, you can see him taking out his wallet already and you immediately put your hand on your wrist, ceasing his movement.
with just one glance, a whole conversation passes between you two. “if you pay for me i will sock you.”
“i’d like to see you try,” he deadpans, quirking a brow before pressing the ‘20 tokens = $19’ button on the machine, “but i’m paying.”
then the sound of his card meeting the reader and the transaction being approved rings through the air, followed by the deafening noise of coins clashing against metal. the look he gives you is nothing short of proud. 
“come on babe, bet you won’t be able to get any prizes,” challenges rin as he brushes past you, the pet name causing your stomach to churn as insults rest on your tongue, offended by his declaration.
he’s gracious enough to give you half of the coins, allowing you to play four games each. you only manage to win on one of them and even then, you were astonished at your own achievements, excitedly grabbing the plushie and hugging the stuffed toy to your chest protectively. rin, on the other hand, comes back to you with two in both hands and the gawk you let out was completely against your will.
“how did you do that?” you ask, a little stupified at the sight (it was kinda hot though). although at this point, you shouldn’t really question how itoshi rin works since he takes the meaning of ‘march to the beat of your own drum’ to a whole other level. 
instead of answering, he hands them over to you and you have no choice but to take them, your arms now overloaded with three stuffed toys. 
before you can even open your mouth to ask if he broke into the machines, your phone buzzes with a notification and the second you open it, you’re met with a familiar ‘⚠️bereal’ banner, one that makes you excited over the impeccable timing. rin raises an eyebrow at your sudden surprise.
“bereal! quick, pose!” you demand and rin obeys, raising a peace sign with a slight smile before the camera turns around to you and the many stuffed toys you’re cuddling. 
how adorable you are might just kill him. 
the dark-haired shakes the thought away before taking out his phone, instructing you to smile. you pose for the photo, hugging all the plushies closely to your chest whilst rin gives his usual deadpan stare into the camera. he then gives you his phone to check if it was okay to post and when you approve, you press the ‘post >’ button for him.
shutting off his phone for him, it’s at the same time that the bereal notification pops up again, this time detailing how one of his friends had posted but that’s not what caught your attention.
it’s a certain photo that made your heart thump loudly in its ribcage.
“am i your lockscreen?” you ask, pride and flattery swelling in your stomach, manifesting through the warmth of your cheeks. 
the slight widening of his eyes give you all the answers you need. “you weren’t supposed to see that.” 
nothing could stop the slow grin from erupting on your expression. it’s ridiculous to say so, but it almost feels like a weight is being lifted from your chest, the pains of the last few weeks erasing themselves completely with this one detail. 
that’s how you know rin was meant for you.
“out of all pictures of me, you chose this one?” you question, gesturing to the selfie that you once sent him during your study sessions. your hair was messy, there was a semi-crazed look in your eyes, but at least the moisturising lip gloss you had reapplied then made you look somewhat put together. 
looking at his phone once more, you feel a little warm.
“i like it,” he mutters shyly, unable to look you in the eye. despite his embarrassment, his statement fills you with endless relief, providing gratification for your relationship with rin that you didn’t know you needed. 
though you’ve been friends with him for quite some time now, you feel as though you don’t really recognise the man in front of you. past perceptions you’ve had of him has now been shattered by his flustered gaze, the relentless blush coating his cheeks, and the uncharacteristic way he slumps, as if defending himself from any judgement you might throw at him. 
luckily for him, that’s not what you’re interested in doing.
unlocking your phone, you hand it to him. “take a matching selfie so i can make it my lock screen too.”
at least you have all the time in the world to get to know him all over again.
(rin will never tell you that he only has been active on bereal so he could see what you were up to. except it backfired every time because instead of satisfying how desperately he was longing for you during your two weeks of no contact, it only made him want you more. he wanted to be there with you through your intense study sessions, he wanted to be going on walks with you, he wanted to be there with you when you were watching one more episode of your favourite tv show before going to bed, he just wanted to be there with you.
now he has all the time to make sure he is.)
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
[@y/n’s BeReal]
@ karasu69: @fruityninjaotoya YOU OWE ME TWENTY BUCKS   → @fruitninjaotoya: Shut your micropenis up
@ yocchan: Y/N WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS   → @ nagixxxxxxxxxxxxx: ratio   → @ yocchan: DON’T RATIO ME RN
@monsterbachira: omg are y’all 😍❤️😍 rn   → @y/n: wut.   → @itshrin: Yes   → @monsterbachira: y/n rin is actually a good kisser   → @y/n: thanks for letting me know meguru!   → @itshrin: i’m going to end you. 
@bbgreo: i’m glad y’all had fun but no itoshi rin on our platonic date pls!   → @y/n: would never dream of it luv <3   → @itshrin: Sleep with one eye open, Reo   → @y/n: that’s my best friend :(   → @itshrin: You don’t need him   → @y/n: reo and i are one you can’t separate us   → @itshrin: Ok fine 😒   → @bbgreo: yay!   → @y/n: yay!
<reo3: told you you were too pretty to reject xx
8K notes · View notes
emmyrosee · 2 months
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 Hiiii, I have a request. Imagine a highschool AU where reader has a massive crush on Sukuna but she thinks he has a thing with Uraume, but he actually likes her. Ok ok, so hear me out. Reader is childhood friends with Yuuji and Sukuna and she notices how Sukuna and Uraume have been hanging out a lot. So she asks Yuuji if Sukuna is going to prom and he says yes, and that he is probably going with Uraume. So reader is sad and doesn't want to go to prom anymore even after already buy her dress. Buttt, the day before prom, Sukuna and Reader end up talking and she mentions how he and Uraume are going together and he is confused.  Then they both confess and end up going together. Pleaseeeeee make this as angsty as possible, I love me some good angst😫
THIS IS SO CUTEEEE-
Bro this is so long yaLL GET A SNACK- I never had a senior prom this is my venting PFFFFF-
I do want to make a disclaimer! To make this fic work I had to go and use an American based school system, where traditionally seniors are 18, can drive, and eat in cafeterias. For those about to comment my inaccuracies, thank you!
—-
Sukuna has been a little more than preoccupied lately.
He, who once would spend every afternoon driving you and yuuji home, who would blast your favorite music and take you to McDonald’s for a soda, has been more than busy with someone new.
You don’t know where she came from, hell you’ve known the two of them for years, yet this is the first you’ve ever really heard of the being known as Uraume.
“They’ve actually been friends for years,” yuuji had told you. “I’m surprised you never really met her- though she’s pretty shy. Only close with sukuna, honestly.”
Yeah. Real close.
Within just a few weeks, Uraume has snagged your place as Sukuna’s number one. No longer does he stand outside your class to carry your books to the next. Your front seat privileges go to her. He plays her favorite songs. He drops you off at home before taking her to god knows where to do god knows what. And yuuji is blind to this change, merely glad his best friend is sitting in the back seat with him, all the while it tears you up on the inside.
And it isn’t until you catch a beefy hand shift to hold Uraume’s that you realize it’s over. Your heart shatters, your lip wobbles, and you turn your body to face away from the disgusting sight.
“You okay?” Yuuji asks, gently nudging you with the tips of his fingers, and when you look up to peek at Sukuna’s frame once again, you catch his eyes looking at you in the rear view. You sigh and turn your gaze away.
“What’s wrong, brat?” He asks, and you could throw up when Uraume turns in her seat to look at you too.
She looks genuinely concerned, and you could punch her for it.
“Just… take me home, Sukuna,” you murmur.
“But we’re getting pizza!” Yuuji whines. “I don’t want you to miss out!”
You smile and gently pat his leg, “don’t worry about me, yuuji. I’m just getting car sick.”
Car sick enough you don’t car pool with him anymore.
You’re back to taking the bus, curled on your seat to stay out of other people’s way, leaving home about 45 minutes earlier than you would’ve with Sukuna. It makes you skip breakfast and washing your face, barely giving you enough time to get into clean clothes and head off onto the day.
But it’s better than seeing them interact, a crush and potential romance brewing right in your eyesight. You never told him how you were getting to school, either, not in the mood for his attempts to change your mind or force you otherwise.
Until-
“You’ve been taking the fucking bus?”
There’s a loud bark that rings through the halls of school, people moving out of the way for the one and only sukuna to come barreling down it, some looking in worry, others with their eyes rolling in their skull.
You sigh and close your locker, leaning against it, “did yuuji finally tell you?”
“No, and I’m going to beat the shit out of him for not telling me,” he snarls, leaning in close. “Do you know how fucking dangerous the bus can be?”
You roll your eyes, “people take the bus every day, Sukuna.”
“Yeah. Not you. Not anymore. I drive you. You know that.”
“Not anymore,” you grumble. He cocks a brow in challenge and you roll your eyes, “I have no interest in being in a car with you.”
“Who fucking shit in your oatmeal this morning?” He snaps. “You’ve had a punk ass attitude for the past two weeks, what the fuck happened?”
“Maybe im just not into being babied anymore?” You lie. He furrows his brows and licks his lips as the bell rings.
“This isn’t over. We’re not done.”
“I am!” You sing.
You’ve never had a day at school drag like today has.
Classes have never felt longer, teachers have never talked slower, and the clock has never ticked drowsier. It physically causes your head to pound and your stomach to become nauseous, and agony courses though your veins as the lunch bell rings.
It’s only lunch.
You manage to shuffle your way out to the cafeteria to meet your friends, two who cheer happily at your arrival and one who offers you a nod of acknowledgment. You plop down next to Fushiguro and rub your temples.
“What’s wrong?” Yuuji asks, and you flash him a small smile.
“I just don’t feel well.”
“You haven’t felt well in days,” he points out, “I hope you’ll be alright for tomorrow night!”
Tomorrow night.
Prom is tomorrow night.
You scrub your face with your hands, “I’ll feel better once I eat, yuuji. Don’t worry,” you say quietly.
The drumming of Nobara’s nails on the table don’t help the growing migraine in your skull, and you try your best to drown out the noise of so many people and so many thoughts and so many feelings about your argument with sukuna that you feel like you could throw up straight on this table.
Kugisaki grimaces, “I told your brother to be here today to talk about prom,” she says, poking her juice open with a straw. “He’s late.”
“He’s not late,” yuuji says, pointing a finger at a table just a few down. “He’s over there, with Uraume.”
The minute every vowel passes Yuuji’s lips, a shiver trails down your spine, filling your entire being with heaviness and hatred. You don’t dare look over your shoulder, instead you grab a grape from Fushiguro’s lunch to munch on. He nudges the small container closer, and you take another green grape from him.
“Besides,” Yuuji continues, taking a bite of his lunch, “I’m 98% sure Sukuna’s going with her. Something about her friend group and car pooling, I figured we could catch a ride with someone else.”
Your heart stops completely.
The man you’d assumed you were going with, the man you’d been in love with for years, is taking someone else, the day before prom.
“He WHAT!” Kugisaki snaps, and next to you, Fushiguro laces his pinky finger with yours, squeezing softly to keep you grounded. “Oh! The fucking nerve! I knew he was a piece of shit, but THIS?! Oh, Itadori, why couldn’t you have your license!”
“Hey! Why don’t you!”
“Kugisaki,” Fushiguro says softly. “Him being a scumbag is nothing new. But,” you feel blue eyes focus on the side of your head. “Let’s be a little more gentle about this, okay?”
From behind you, there’s a set of laughter that eases its way over the cafeteria, and you wish it was literally anyone else’s, anyone’s other than Uraume’s, and you hate how light and airy it sounds.
How pretty.
“I know for a fact Sukuna’s not that funny,” Kugisaki grumbles, but all you do is pick at your food and silently pretend to agree with your friend.
Sukuna is funny. Sukuna is so funny it hurts, it brings tears to your eyes and your sides and stomach to hurt, and even though you share him everyday, it hurts now to share him with her.
“Man, she’s laughing real hard,” Yuuji says, taking a sip of his water, his head turned to watch his brother interact with his friend. “Wonder what he said.”
“Yuuji,” Megumi warns.
Yuuji chuckles to himself, “it’s almost like they’re feeding off of each other, it’s kinda sweet.”
“Yuuji.”
“-and I mean, Sukuna’s usually not so open and friendly, let alone cracking jokes. It’s cute-“
“ITADORI!”
Megumi snaps hard enough at his friend to make him shut up, and when yuuji finally turns back to face you, your bottom lip wobbles and you play more with your food. Tears pour down your face, as Kugisaki reaches over to rest a hand on yours, sympathy in her gaze. “Yeah,” you sniffle. “It’s cute.” The hand not being cradled by Kugisaki comes up to wipe your tears, and before you know it, your legs stand up and carry you straight to the bathroom, locking yourself in a stall where you’re able to finally let it go. You cradle yourself in comfort, eyes screwed shut as you sob every fiber of your soul out.
Kugisaki calls your name once, twice, then she sighs, “come on. Let’s talk this out, okay?”
“I’m not going to prom,” you confess. “Not if he’s going with her.”
“You don’t know if he is, though,” she argues, leaning against your stall door. “And if he is, and he fumbles the best thing that ever happened to him, he doesn’t deserve your tears.”
There’s another person that enters the bathroom, and you hear Kugisaki scoff. “You’re like, a thousand percent not supposed to be in here.”
“Bite me,” the voice snaps, and it doesn’t take long to decode it as Sukuna’s. Your hand claps over your mouth to silence your tears, not wanting him to hear you. “I thought she was crying, I wanted to check on her.”
“She’s fine. Shoo.”
“Kugisaki-“
“Don’t talk to me like we’re friends,” she snaps, and you close your swollen eyes as she defends your honor. “Because we’re not. Don’t act like you care at all about me or her, or her peace or her business. So fucking beat it, before I snitch you out to the principal, then no one’s fucking happy.”
You hear sukuna exhale in annoyance, “just… text me, okay?” He says, and you know he’s talking to you.
“She’ll think about it,” Kugisaki growls. Once the big footprints are out of earshot, you slowly ease your way out of the stall and straight into Kugisaki’s arms, “I know honey, I know,” she soothes, hugging you tight. “You deserve so much better, babydoll. Fuck him.”
“He led me on for months,” you wail. “And he tossed me to the side like a fucking piece of trash. For her.”
“And that’s why you should go to prom,” she argues, pulling back to look at you, eyes soft in understanding. “You don’t need him to have fun- you’ve got friends who are dying to go with you. And you want to make him real jealous?” She asks, and you quirk your brow in intrigue.
She smirks, “go with Fushiguro.”
You sniffle and shake your head, “I cant do that to Fushiguro. Im not going to use him as a pawn to make Sukuna want me again. It’s not fair.”
Kugisaki nods and clicks her tongue, “why don’t you get a note from the nurse and go home for the day?” She encourages, and you ponder the idea in your head.
Maybe it wouldn’t be such a terrible idea… to go home and process the day, figure out what to do about prom, maybe even return the dress for your money back. You sigh shakily and nod your head before the bathroom door bursts open again, emerging a yuuji whose hands are clasped over his eyes. “Just wanted to bring you your backpack!”
You snort and wipe your nose, “thank you, Yuuji.”
“You’re welcome!” He shifts his fingers to peek at you, lifting the middle one to make eye contact, “so… sorry we didn’t get to talk about prom.”
“It’s okay,” you sigh, ushering them both out of the bathroom. “I’m… I’m probably not going anyways.”
“WHAT!” He whines, his hands coming down to his sides in a saddened pout. “But! It’s senior prom! We have to go!”
“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I haven’t felt up for it since we made the plan to go. Maybe I’m just not supposed to.” When Fushiguro appears from the men’s bathroom and approaches the group, you flash him a sweet smile, “but I want you guys to still go!”
“Well if you’re not going, I’m not going!” Yuuji proclaims.
Fushiguro shakes his head, “if this is about prom, I won’t go either. We can chill at our houses instead-“
“EVERYONE IS GOING TO PROM!” Kugisaki barks, causing more than a few heads to turn in the hall. Then, she sighs, “we’re all old now. This is it. Our last chance of good memories from this shit fuck of a school. Everyone is going. Period.”
“But-“
“We’ll talk it out later,” you say quickly, noticing the duo of Sukuna and Uraume heading to the vending machines together. “I’m going home. Someone take notes for me.”
“Will do,” Fushiguro calls out for you. You feel three pairs of eyes boring into the back of your skull, but you couldn’t care less.
Not when you’re left to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.
Getting out of school was easy enough. Working up an excuse that you’re dizzy and need to be rushed home. It’s getting home that sucked.
Before, Sukuna was your ride home when you were sick, cutting classes to get you back to your home so you could take care of yourself and get plenty of rest. Now, you stand at a public bus stop, earbuds in your ears, and you wait. You’ve done this route plenty of times by now, courtesy of Sukuna’s front seat being taken by her.
The ride is quiet enough, your head resting against the cool glass of the window as your phone buzzes violently.
sukuna 💪🏻 Where the fuck did you go?
No seriously wtf
This shit with Fushiguro taking notes for you? The fucks up with that?
Why’d you even leave?
You think you can ignore me?
This isn’t over. Once this bell rings?
I’m hunting you down.
You ignore his threats and let the bus carry you home, your exhausted legs finishing the trip up and into the familiar confines of your house. You’ve got at least two hours before sukuna makes good on his word, and you decide to take that time to take care of yourself- something your heart has been too tired to do since Uraume came into your life uninvited.
After a hot shower, some skin care and topped with some pretty perfume, you make your way to the living room, stopping briefly for a snack from the kitchen.
You put on a movie, but your phone won’t stop buzzing. It’s Sukuna, it’s always going to be Sukuna, and you merely turn it on Do Not Disturb.
If ignoring his texts wouldn’t get him pissed, that certainly would.
But you don’t care. Not anymore.
There’s a ferocious knocking on the door that snaps you out of your zone, and it doesn’t take you long to render the intense energy as Sukuna’s. You pause your movie and shrug your blanket off, making your way to the front door.
Your hands tingle and your heart pounds at the idea of confrontation, but you figure you have nothing to lose as you open the door, revealing an annoyed Sukuna, foot tapping impatiently.
“You think you can hide from me?” he snaps, and you roll your eyes and try to close the door. Sukuna merely jams his foot in the frame to stop you. “Stop fucking around with me, and talk to me. And what’s this bullshit of Yuuji telling me you’re not going to prom?”
“I have nothing to say to you,” you say blankly, but all that does is aggravate him more, and he uses a big hand to force the door open more. The act would be attractive to you, had your heart not been torn into pieces by him. “Don’t break my door.”
“Don’t ignore my goddamned texts!” He barks. You scoff and step back inside your house, where he swiftly follows you. “You’re acting like a fucking child.”
“IM ACTING LIKE A CHILD?” You screech, loud enough where even Sukuna’s eyes widen. “Me? After this entire week where you’ve picked your new best friend to cling to, IM THE CHILD?”
“Yes!” He snaps. “What, I can’t have other friends?”
“You seemed pretty content with the one,” you chuckle. “Certainly didn’t need me to keep you entertained.”
“It’s not my fault that Uraume’s been hanging out with me more,” he says, crossing his big arms. “You just can’t handle sharing me once in a while? Are you that insecure?”
This, has you wincing back, his words making you nauseous and tears bite at your waterline, stinging painfully as you finally blink a line down. He takes a deep inhale and cards a massive hand through his hair, “I didn’t mean that-“
“Fuck. You.”
“Look-“
“No, you look, Sukuna,” you growl, hands coming up to shove him hard. “You don’t get to gaslight me into thinking I’m being dramatic, after you’ve completely thrown me to the side and neglected me for the week. You don’t get to make me feel like the bad guy after you led me on for months on end, only to chase after another girl. You don’t get to break my heart, and demand me to piece it back together, only to try and guilt me for protecting my peace! FUCK! YOU!”
“Led you on for what?” He asks, confusion replacing annoyance, but aggregation still in his tone. “The fuck are you spewing?” You reach up to shove him again; this time, he grips your shoulders to make you steady, “are you out of your fucking mind? There is no other girl!”
“Oh, yeah,” you scoff, your voice tight with tears. “You just hold every broad’s hand in front of me. You just rest your hand onto every girl’s thigh, clearly. My bad, Sukuna.”
“I never held her hand, I moved her hand from my thigh, you weren’t fucking paying attention!”
“Yeah? What about not walking me to class anymore? Not carrying my books for me? Not sitting next to me anymore, instead going to be with her?”
His brows furrow, and there’s nothing you’d like more than to smack the expression clean off of his face. “Doll, Uraume is a friend. That’s it!”
“Yeah? Then what does that make us?”
“Everything!” He yells, the plates rattling and doors creaking from the force. The tears in your eyes still as you stare up at him, whimpering and shaking in his grip.
“What…?”
He sighs in exhaustion, “are you so dense you don’t notice just how obsessed with you I am? The minute someone else comes into my life, you’re blind to that?”
“Sukuna-“
“I’ve fought Fushiguro over you,” he continues. “I’ve argued with teachers for being late to walk you to your class. I’ve gotten pulled over speeding to your house to be with you. I’ve fucking been here, wanting you, but I was waiting for you to be ready.”
“Well, you’ve sure had a hell of a time proving it,” you snip, and he grits his teeth to ground himself. “Talking to another girl, taking her to prom-“
“I’m not taking her to prom, I’m taking you!”
“Then why have you been ignoring me!”
Your words are silenced as he grabs you by the chin and pulls you in for a kiss, the broken bits of your soul and heart snapping back together. Your brain stops and your stomach swirls, but your arms instinctively wrap around his neck, keeping him close. He tastes like orange soda and feels comforting like a freshly washed blanket, his band tee getting fisted in your hand as your other one plays with the hair of his buzz cut. He shivers, his arms hug around your waist, panting into your mouth before hesitantly pulling back.
He leans down to your ear, “listen carefully. I’m not taking Uraume. I’m taking you. Uraume is a friend. That’s it. Once I tell her we’re together, she’ll back off, and we’re going to be fine. I’ve been ‘ignoring you’ because I figured you wanted space, but I couldn’t deal with it anymore. Got it?” You sniffle and burrow your face in his chest, letting his big arms wrap around you and keep you safe. He presses another kiss to the crown of your head, and you feel your mind go fuzzy at the moment he cradles you close.
“Missed my annoying brat of a crush. Driving to school was so fucking boring,” he says, and you scoff against him and wipe your nose on his shirt. “Ugh. Ew.”
“You’re supposed to find me pretty no matter what,” you sniffle. “Even if I use you as a tissue.”
“Maybe, just don’t use me as a tissue?” He snickers, and when you loosen and laugh yourself, he gently pulls back to look at you.
“C’mon. Show me your dress. Need to know what color tie I’m getting.”
“You want to match with me?” You whimper.
He smirks, “Kugisaki already hates me. You think she’s going to let us not matching slide?”
“You’re so right.”
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mooningningg · 8 months
Text
"You're insufferable." part i, jjk.
-in which you got in a heated argument with jjk men.
part ii.
toji, satoru, and nanami, (f).
warnings, genre. swearing! not proofread! | angst to fluff! |
notes i. this was requested from like a year ago so... yeah.
Toji. the scarred man was flaring up your temper for sure, you sat at the your side of the passanger seat. drowning in your own sea of thoughts whilst you looked outside the window of the moving car. tiny drops of water was plastered right on the car window. the sound of pitter-patter by the rain can be heard but slightly muffled.
the car however was silent, toji, your boyfriend was driving with a deadly grip on the steering wheel. you both were driving home after a disasterous date. it was going on fine at the beginning but all of a sudden, your meticulous boyfriend and you were suddenly fighting with him over something you didn't seem to think about now. you were just fuming in your seat because he had raised his voice at you in front of many people, "are you going to keep up this being a bitch act of yours?" he bites, you can feel the venom seeping through his voice.
you stayed silent, trying to send him the hint that you weren't going to talk to him any sooner. he hisses beside you before slamming his hand on the steering wheel, making you look at him with a flinch, "damn it!" "what the hell is wrong with you, toji!" "now you decide to talk to me."
"if you were just being so fucking easy back there, then maybe i wouldn't have yelled." the man beside you fills you in, trying to point out your mistakes from the fight.
"oh so now it's my fault that you have anger issues that you can not somehow get a hold of? you're a fucking assassin, toji. yet you act like you can't color inside the lines with a gun to your fucking head."
"what the fuck did you just say?" his voice grumbles, and just in time for a thunder to roar in the sky, light flashes in a second before the rain came down heavier. toji took a glance at you, his eyes were filled with anger and you can tell, you calmed yourself down. looking out from the window again you wrapped your own arms around your body to provide warmness, you couldn't handle it anymore. there was never a day where you don't find yourself arguing with the scarred man over and over again, you were tired, to an extent.
"you're a fucking jerk." you mumble, resting your head on the window as you feel your tears starting to build up. it hurts you, him being too comfortable yelling at you in front of a crowd, it shatters your heart into millions of pieces. you knew you were hard to love but... toji made you feel like there wasn't hope at all.
"I hate you." it came out like a whisper, your voice vulnerable and weak. toji's grip loosened, his eyes softening in an instant with his face muscle finally relaxing, but not in a good way. damn did those three words, eight letters, stab his heart a million times repeatingly, over and over again. he was hurting you, and now he realizes it, he has gone too far now, "y/n."his voice was gentle now, no sign of anger or irritation.
you didn't answer, you felt so weak now. you felt like you were going to burst into tears within a second, " 'm sorry." your boyfriend says, your heart warms up in an instant, it was unfair, he had this effect on you and you just can't ignore it, "whatever." you replied with a sob at the end of your sentence, you had been crying again... because of him.
toji didn't like seeing you like this so he swore in him, he would kill anyone that made you cry, and if he did make you holler again, he'll end his self instead.
Satoru. "This is crazy." you say in frustration, looking at your lover as if he has grown tw heads to make your eyes shine with horrid, "oh this is crazy? you're
crazy." the silver haired exclaims with his tone sharp and absolute, you were taken a back by his response, "oh wow, don't try to point this on me when you're the one who flirted with a girl." "it's like I can't even do anything in this relationship anymore, you have this fucking vision in your head that im so fucking wrong all the time."
"you're just making up excuses, satoru. it won't cover up the fact that you flirted with the girl." you pointed at him, your eyes glared at him with your voice slightly raising. smoke was basically coming out of satoru's ear, he was fuming, "you're insecure, that's what you are." "what did you just say?" "you make a big fuss whenever i talk to another girl, you're afraid ill le...
there was the sound of your palm hitting his right cheek, it echos through out the room with your eyes tearing up. who am i kidding, it already rolled down your cheeks, your eyes held betrayal. satoru, never in your life did he point out your insecurities in an argument.
"what happened to you. if that's what you think then I'm afraid we're better off by ourselves." you say calmly, your tears still can't help themselves from falling, "y/n." "no, you don't say those hurtful things and expect me to be okay."
"im sorry, i know i crossed the line." the silver haired exclaims with a saddened voice, the slap was like a slap from reality. truly the reason why he realized his mistake. "i would never do that to you." your voice cracked, you couldn't anymore, the burden rose up to your throat and it made hard for you to say something without finding it hard. you were crying now.
backing away from your boyfriend your back hits the wall and you slide down to the floor whilst trying to calm yourself down. and just like that you feel your boyfriends familiar scent crouch down to your level, grabbing your hands gently to replace his slender hands to wipe away your tears. "im sorry baby, im so... fuck, i hate seeing you like this."
Nanami. "im just trying to calmly apologize to you, i dont want to fight anymore." the blonde says, he brings his hand up to his mouth in a frustrated manner, you stood there, your arms crossed in front of your chest with your eyebrows furrowed. your face was bear but the outfit you were supposed to wear to your date with him was still on your body, "how is that going to help me, is it going to bring back the two hours i waited for you!" you exclaim, you were frustrated, the man forgot your date because he went to a party at work. and he didn't even tell you he was going, so it caused a misunderstanding, and you waited fir him like a fool.
"did you get hurt? i said i was sorry didn't i? can i go to bed now." he says in almost a monotone voice, you were offended by the way he reacted. it was almost like he didn't even care about your feelings. your eyes by now had widened, "so you're invalidating my feelings now? so what you said sorry?" "god your voice it's so..." "its so what." "...." "answer me!"
"fucking annoying! that's what it is, you yell, you yap do you ever get tired?" nanami finally loses his composure and his words were like daggers stabbing your heart. and if you listened closely, you can hear your heart breaking into pieces, and shattering beneath you. "you... you're the least man i have ever thought to say those words to me."
"wait." but it was too late, you had slammed the door in your shared room, nanami was left inside the cold atmosphere of the living room. he drops his self to the couch, placing his elbow on both his knees as he runs his finger through his blonde locks in frustration, he fucked up.
he needed to calm his self down before comforting you, in case he hurts you again.
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joeyb1989 · 15 days
Text
kiss it better - joe burrow
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word count: 1.4k
pairing: joe burrow x reader
warnings: cut-off smut, fluff, angst, cussing, pet names, allusions to smut
a/n: two fics in one weekend?? idk WHAT has gotten into me, but here we are. wrote this after a post-loss nap after the game today. it’s just a short little something since i felt like writing. i didn’t read over it a lot, so if there’s mistakes… let’s ignore them🥰🥰 hope you all enjoy💞
——
“Look at you, stud!” you smiled as you walked behind Joe, wrapping your arms around his middle and looking into his eyes through the full-length mirror. Joe showed you his Week 1 fit a few weeks ago, but it looked better on his luscious body.
“You like the fit?” Joe asked as you unwrapped your arms from around him before he did a dorky spin for you.
“Mhm,” you giggled, kissing his cheek, “My handsome boy.”
“Stop,” Joe smiled, looking away to hide his blush.
“No matter how good you look in it, I really wanna take it off you,” you purred, giving him a loaded look.
“You better behave, baby,” Joe whispered in your ear, his voice an octave lower than before.
“Or what?” you retorted, blushing when he gave your ass a soft squeeze
“Or they’re gonna have to find another quarterback to start today,” Joe smirked
“Where will you be?” you asked, already knowing the answer.
“On that bed over there, taking away your ability to walk,” Joe smiled smugly
You patted his chest, “That can wait until after the game. We gotta get QB1 back on that field.”
“Yeah,” Joe said quietly as his face dropped.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” you asked as you cupped his face with your hands
“Just… nervous, I guess,” Joe sighed, still not looking at you in the eyes
“Joey, look at me,” you said before he did your bidding. “Listen to me, okay? You are Joe fucking Burrow. You went through literal hell last year, but you’re coming back stronger than ever; mentally and physically. It’s time to show the world what you can do.”
“You’re right, thank you, sweetheart,” Joe kissed your forehead, “Damn, I better get going.”
You turned around to see the time on the alarm clock, meaning that Joe definitely had to leave to be on time for warmups. “I’ll walk you out,” you gave a closed-lip smile as Joe walked over and grabbed his backpack, throwing it over his shoulder, and grabbing your hand before leading you to the garage.
“No matter what happens today, I’m so proud of you,” you said as you pulled him for a tight hug.
“I love you, Y/n. So much,” Joe said as he leaned back and kissed your lips.
“I love you. Go get ‘em, tiger,” you smiled as you playfully swatted his butt before he got into his Porsche and drove off to the stadium.
Later that day - at the game
“Okay, they have the ball they should be alright,” you said to Robin, trying to remain stoic at the 16-7 score difference.
The rest of the game was a hard watch, well, the whole game was. No matter how disappointing the loss was, it didn't change how proud you were of Joe; even if you knew he would be, rightfully, grumpy after the game. The game put quite a damper on everyone’s mood. You were so tense during the entire game, that you should've probably made an appointment with your chiropractor.
The clock ran to zero as you, Robin, and Jimmy all went down to see Joe at the family section. As usual, you let him talk to his parents before talking to you.
“Hey, babe,” Joe mumbled as he walked over to you, the devastated look on his face shattering your heart. He wrapped you in a tight hug after pecking your forehead. “I’ll be out soon, shouldn't take too long. Wait for me in the parking lot, ‘kay?”
Normally after losses like this, he wouldn't be this touchy or sweet. He would typically hug you, go off to shower, do his press conference, then drive the two of you home.
“Okay,” you sadly smiled, kissing his cheek.
——
“There he is,” Robin softly smiled, seeing Joe walk towards the three of you in the parking lot.
“You ready?” Joe asked you with a sigh.
“Mhm,” you nodded before the two of you said your goodbyes to his parents and started to head home.
The drive home was quiet. There was nothing but silence in the car except for Kid Cudi playing low on the radio. His hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. 
As Joe took the exit to get off the highway, you felt his hand sneak on your thigh, rubbing soft circles on it with his fingers. You placed your hand on his, the warmth from his immediately warming yours up.
Once he pulled into the driveway, he turned the car off and let out a deep sigh. He got out of the car and opened the door for you, leading you to the house by putting his hand on the small of your back.
“Are you hungry?” you asked once you two got into the kitchen.
“Not really. That game made me lose all my damn appetite. I’ll be in my office watching some film if you need me,” Joe gave a sad smile before striding for the stairs
It wasn't a few seconds later when you felt two arms wrap around you from behind, “I’ll be okay, don’t worry about me,” Joe said as he kissed the top of your head, “I love you.”
“I love you,” you whispered
A few hours later
You had cleaned most of the house to relieve some stress and tension in your body. There had been no sign of Joe. Occasionally, you would hear grumbling coming from his office since it was the room next to the bedroom.
As you were folding the last few pieces of laundry, you heard unmistakable loud footsteps come into the bedroom.
“Baby,” Joe whispered, that defeated look even more on his face than before.
“Aww. Come here,” you said quietly, opening your arms for him.
“Can we cuddle?” Joe asked after walking into your embrace.
“Of course, baby,” you smiled, laying down on the bed before Joe crawled on top of you, laying his head on your chest, being careful not to crush you with his weight.
“I’m sorry I’m always an ass after we lose,” Joe mumbled into your chest.
“You’re not an ass,” you kissed his forehead, prompting him to snuggle closer to you, “you’re human.” One of your hands was on his back, rubbing soothing circles on it while the other one was in his slightly grown-out buzz cut, occasionally scratching his scalp since you knew it helped him relax.
“I don’t even know what happened out there,” Joe chuckled out of disbelief, “Like I’ve watched the film, it doesn't make sense.”
“Do you think it’s because the wound is still fresh? Like you need time to process it, Joe,” you suggested
Joe took a deep breath before speaking up again, “I’m so scared, Y/n.” The shakiness and vulnerability in his voice shocked you. “I’ve tried for so long to please everyone… and I just can't do it anymore, baby,” his bottom lip quivered as he spoke. “I’ve disappointed everyone. The fans, the team, my family, and especially, you. This year was supposed to be different, but it’s just all the fucking same.”
“Joey…,” you whispered, trying to hold yourself together for him. It always hurt you when Joe cried. You wished that you could kiss him so much that he would stop feeling like this. You wished that you could kiss it all better. 
“You could never disappoint me. Literally at the game, I was thinking how fucking proud of you I am. You’re under a shit-load of pressure and that can’t be easy for anyone, but you somehow always remain calm and collected. It’s just week one, you have so much more time to learn from your mistakes and grow. Plus, the Bengals are a 53-man football team. It’s not just you that didn’t play the best. All of you will come together sooner rather than later. I know it can be a lot in there,” you said, caressing his forehead, “but don’t be afraid to let me in. I’m here for you, always and forever.”
“I love you,” Joe said, “So,” with a kiss to your forehead, “fucking,” with a kiss to your nose, “much,” with a kiss to your lips. “You are the embodiment of home to me. I used to think I wouldn't have a life without football, but now I realize that I wouldn't have a life without you.”
“Do you realize how much I love you?” you giggled as he kissed down your jawline, to your neck.
“Care to show me?” Joe smirked before he flipped the two of you around so that you were straddling him as he began to move your hips to grind down on him.
This boy is gonna be the death of you.
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jellybonbons · 5 months
Text
Playground Love
ೀ older!Leon Kennedy x fem!reader
Tags: hurt/comfort, age gap (unspecified but reader is an adult), a lot of self doubt, talks about mommy and daddy issues, pet names (angel, princess, sweetheart).
W/C: 1.0k
A/N: studying? who is that? Anyways, this was supposed to be a cute ‘sitting on his lap would fix me’ but I got hit by existential crisis at 2am so angst.
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"Wow, dating an older guy? That's so sophisticated!"
“Are you sure about this? Don’t you think there’s a reason why no one his age is dating him?”
"You get to date someone older? That's not fair! All I get are immature guys my age."
"Darling, I know you're an adult now, but dating someone significantly older... it just worries me. Are you sure you're on the same page?"
I love him.
At every reaction, you find yourself repeating the same phrase in your mind. It was a simple truth that anchored you amidst the swirl of opinions and doubts. Every concern, every envy—you faced them all with the same unwavering declaration.
But do you really love him?
The question lingered like a shadow, casting doubt on the certainty you had clung to so desperately. You couldn't shake the nagging feeling that perhaps you were merely caught up in the allure of dating someone older, mistaking infatuation for love. Or was it that you longed for attention from an older guy who could fill the void your absent father left?
You craved the paternal presence you had been denied, and in him, you found echoes of the guidance and affection you had longed for. 
"Dating someone older? Isn't that a bit... strange?"
"Why? Age is just a number, right?"
"Yeah, but... do you really think you're at the same stage in life?"
Oh, how naively optimistic you were. 
Perhaps you have been too quick to dismiss your loved one’s concerns, too eager to embrace the illusion of love in the arms of someone—his arms—who offered the fleeting promise of stability and security. 
“But he makes me feel loved and safe,”
“Does he?”
Was your love truly built to withstand the test of time, or was it merely a fleeting illusion, destined to crumble beneath the weight of your differences?
“Darling, can we talk for a moment?”
“Sure, Ma. What’s on your mind?”
"Well, I couldn't help but notice... you seem quite taken with this new guy you're seeing."
"Oh, you mean Leon? Yeah, we've been spending some time together."
"He's... older, isn't he?"
"Um, yeah, he is."
"I see... darling, I just want to make sure you're being careful. Dating someone older can bring its own set of challenges."
"I know, Ma. But he's different. He understands me in a way no one else does."
"I'm sure he does, dear…but promise me you'll take things slow and really get to know him before things get too serious."
"I promise, Mama.”
You've broken many promises with your mama, but why did this one hurt? Is it because you partially blame her for shaping you the way you are? Is it because she married your father? Maybe she would have lived a happier life if it weren't for him, if only.
But you thanked her, both her and him, for the lesson learned, for the wisdom imparted, for the love that had always been there, and for helping you recognise the kind of partner to avoid. 
You stood before the polished wooden door of Leon’s home office, your hand hovering in uncertainty over the ornate doorknob. Each second felt like an eternity as you battled with the torrent of doubts and fears that raged within you. 
You needed him, wanted him to hold you, and tell you that everything would be fine.
But what if he couldn’t understand your doubts? What if your confession shattered the fragile illusion of your love?
With a steady breath, you pushed aside your apprehensions and grasped the doorknob, steeling yourself for the conversation that lay ahead.
“What’s up, sweetheart?” His voice, gruff yet soft and reassuring, always managed to send shivers down your spine, freezing you in place. You couldn’t find the words to speak, and your throat suddenly dried.
Sensing your hesitation, he beckoned you closer with a gentle smile. You could see the experiences he went through, the complexities of adulthood etched into the lines that creased his weathered face.
“Come here, angel. Sit on my lap while I work.”
You obeyed, crossing the threshold into his office, your feet padding on the wooden floor as you made your way to him. Settling onto his lap, your linen dress pooled around you, the fabric soft against your skin. His arms encircled your waist, pulling you close, his rough touch sent warmth flooding through your veins.
You inhaled his scent, a mixture of citrus and wood, with a hint of something familiar: whisky. You thought he quit. Ready to question him, you opened your mouth, but he stopped you before you could question him.
“Don’t worry your pretty head, princess. I only drank a glass, I promised. I’m just a bit stressed.” 
“Mm, okay,” you replied, pushing aside your concerns for the moment as you melted into the warmth of his embrace.
You found solace in the familiar embrace of Leon's arms, the weight of your doubts momentarily forgotten as you leaned into his chest, burying your face against him. A few of his buttons were undone, allowing the soft hairs on his chest to brush against your face. 
"Is everything alright, angel?" Leon's voice, soft and concerned, pulled you back to the present moment.
"Yeah, everything's fine. I just want to stay like this, with you," you murmured, the words slipping out before you could second-guess yourself.
His arms tightened around you, drawing you closer, as if he could sense the hesitation in your voice. "Me too, princess. Me too," his stubble pricked your forehead as he murmured against them.
Oh, how weak you were. His voice and touch alone melted you into a puddle, and all your problems seemed to vanish in his embrace. Your mama wouldn’t be happy with how you turned out; she wished that you would never let a man make you weak like she was.
Closing your eyes, you allowed yourself to sink deeper into his embrace, letting go of the weight of your doubts and worries. In this moment, all that mattered was the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against yours.
Perhaps one day, when the time was right, you would find the courage to open up to him about your inner struggles. Until then, you cherished this moment, clawing in the warmth of his love.
Pressing a tender kiss to your forehead, Leon whispered softly, "I love you, angel.”
“I love you, too, Leon, always,” you replied. The words were a vow of unwavering devotion and love…was it really?
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.       
- Oscar Wilde
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cntloup · 7 months
Text
Fem!Reader angst, hurt/comfort, mention of miscarriage
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"I might be pregnant." you mumble nervously to your husband, fidgeting with your fingers and avoiding his gaze. You didn't get your period and you've been sick every morning the past week. "Dove, did you check to make sure?" Simon asks, starting to feel excited but the heavy weight on his chest doesn't let him. "No, we don't have any baby checks." you reply, head still hanging low, "I-I'll g-go to the drugstore now." he stutters, excitement mixed with gloom, not really knowing how to feel, "Are you gonna be ok while I'm gone?" he asks with worry, "Yeah." you reply weakly. He places a kiss on your forehead, nuzzling the soft skin of your cheeks, his touch lingering, "I'll be ok, Si." you reassure him. He leans in to kiss you, eyes filled with concern locked onto yours for a moment before heading out the door.
The moment he walks out, you see the dark clouds looming over you and feel the familiar tingle in the back of your eyes. Soon after, you break into sobs, overwhelmed by all the emotions prancing around and shifting through you. You've been trying to have a baby for a while now, but unfortunately fate had something else in store for you. You've already gone through two miscarriages. You thought that life was playing a sick, twisted game with you. The wish to have a child and not being able to fulfill that, had your mental health in shambles. But he was beside you every step of the way. He held you tightly in his embrace as you sobbed your heart out. He reassured you that it's ok if you can never have children. He was your rock. Always. But you still felt it deep in your heart that there might be something wrong with you. And that led you to always feel this little tingle of guilt inside and blame yourself. But he would always put an end to that thought at the mere mention of it. It was not your fault. You felt guilty about putting him through all of this. And him not being able to grieve properly because he has to stay strong for you. You felt as though you were failing him.
All of a sudden, there's a buzzing in your ear and your vision is blurry and you struggle to breathe. As soon as he walks through the door and sets eyes on you bawling uncontrollably and gasping for air, he rushes to your side. "Hey, hey, it's ok, love. Just breathe. Like this." he tries to get your attention, taking deep breaths for you to imitate. You focus on the movements of his lips and chest, finally able to get some air in your lungs. He wraps his arms around you, holding you tightly against him and sways side to side to soothe you, "Shh, lovie. It's ok. I'm right here. You're ok." he coos softly against your temple, placing loving kisses on your skin.
"Simon..." you call out to him, voice weak and shaky. "Yes, love?" he pulls away slightly, his gaze soft and filled with worry. He tucks your hair behind your ear, placing his hand on your cheek, softly wiping away your tears with the pad of his thumb, "Is there something wrong with me?" you pout, lips quivering and holding back sobs. He's taken aback, "No, lovie. There's nothing wrong with you. It's just something that happens. It's not your fault." he pauses to take a look at you, his beautiful wife, woeful and suffering. His heart aches at this sight of you and tears start to well up in his eyes, "We'll get through this. I promise. If we can't have a child ourselves, we can always adopt." he adds, kind eyes looking into your tear-filled ones. He tries to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart, and when you look up at him with a smile, he knows he succeeded, at least to some extent. There's still sorrow in your eyes. You will always grieve the loss of your children. Nothing can erase that. "Yeah, sure! We'll adopt." your smile begins to get wider as you wipe away the tears. "Yeah?" he grins, gently cupping your face in his hands, "Yeah!" you nod, giggling. He stares into your eyes with pure love, leans in and places his lips on yours, kissing you tenderly. "I love you." he murmurs into the kiss, "I love you too, Si."
comments/reblogs are greatly appreciated ♥ 
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seungfl0wer · 2 months
Text
*Seungmin Calling You Clingy*
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Pairing: Seungmin x Reader (GN)
Genre: Angst
Warning: Not Proof Read, Idk if there’s any real warnings for this if you think so please message me🩵
This is part of a series find the others here:
Bangchan, Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin
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-🩵
Sitting in the living room getting ready for a movie seungmin came and plopped right down beside you. As you watched the movie you couldn’t help but get annoyed by the person in it. “Why’s this person so up there boyfriends ass?” You said shaking your head “she’s just being clingy no wonder why he’s getting upset with them.”
Seungmin laughed a bit “you know you’re like that sometimes” he teased not meaning anything bad by it however it hurt hearing. “Are.. you saying I’m clingy?” You said looking back at him. “Yeah you are sometimes.” He shrugged. He didn’t seem to see why it might hurt you which was even worse. Seungmin was always blunt with his words but this time his words really dug deep into you. “Do you really think I’m clingy?” You said your voice a bit shaky. “Well yeah I mean you can be clingy sometimes maybe not like that person but definitely can be.”
He saw how you looked upset and continued with “it’s not a bad thing just sometimes you can be a bit much.” Those words hurt even more. ‘Do I really bother him a lot? What if I’m being too clingy and push him away?’ Your head was running about a mile a minute. All you could do is just nod and go “oh” softly. Laying back just zoning off as you watched the movie.
After a few minutes sung kept his eyes on you looking over once in a while “you ok?” He said pulling you a bit to him. You nod “mhm.” He sat there studying your face “I’m sorry if I upset you with what I said you know I don’t lie to you.” He said his voice soft. “It’s fine” you said looking over at him giving him a fake smile. He sighed a bit “well if you wanna talk I’m here ok?” He said kissing your temple.
After that night you started to distance yourself a bit, every little move you made you second guessed yourself. His words just circling in your head. It felt like you were being beaten up by your own brain. You sat in your room crying feeling like you weren’t good enough anymore. Your messages had become short with Min making him feel bad as well, he knew you were upset but didn’t know how to help. He was afraid of pushing you away even more or saying something worse.
Seungmin had went to talk to Chan, to get advice about what exactly to do. “You said what to them?” His voice almost a yell. Sung lowered his head “I didn’t think it would hurt them like this though.” Sung said shaking his head. “Seungmin, they’re giving you what you want. They think they’re being clingy so they’re giving you space” he sighed “you know how much they’re probably hurting right now?” He said shaking his head at him. “You need to fix this before it ends your relationship.”
Seungmins head shot up “you think they’d leave me because of this?” He cried out. Chan shrugged “I don’t know man but I do know you need to go make this right.” He said patting his back. Seungmin nodded getting up, almost running out the door. He drove fast running a stop sign to get to your place.
You were lying in bed curled up in a ball, blankets covered you as you sobbed hard into your pillow. Everything just hurt it hurt so bad you felt like you were gonna throw up. Seungmin didn’t know he got his key and just ran in. He searched the house for you looking around, until he heard you crying. Opening up the door to your room his heart sunk.
It completely shattered at the sight of you. “Y/n” his said his voice low as he walked towards you. You didn’t move at all, as you felt him sit in the bed. You buried your head into the pillow as seungmin rubbed your back. You didn’t wanna look at him you felt like a wreck, I mean you were a wreck. You felt the bed move Sung making his way to your bathroom, you could hear water running as he moved around.
A few minutes later he patted your back softly “hey come here” he said softly helping you up. He wiped your face with a nice cool cloth before leading you to the bathroom. He kissed your forehead softly as he took your clothes off leading you into the bathtub he had filled for you. He took the shower nozzle wetting your before he started to wash it. He softly hummed one of your favorite songs as he washed your hair.
You felt your body finally relax the feeling of the warm water on you. His hands running through your hair massaging your scalp as he ran his hands down your back a bit massaging your shoulders as well. “Do you want to talk right now or do you wanna wait till we get back in bed?” He said softly as he rubbed your shoulders. “Bed” you said your voice raspy from crying so much. He hummed at your answer rinsing your hair before kissing your head again. “You stay here and relax a bit ok?” He said before leaving walking back into your room.
He grabbed some clothes out for you before he took your sheets off your bed. He wanted to clean everything and make everything fresh for you. He changed the sheets, your pillow cases and your blanket out. As he made your bed he also grabbed a glass of cold water and a cup of warm tea for you and sat it beside your bed. He also grabbed a few snacks to sit with the drinks he had grabbed. Placing your favorite stuffie on your pillow he heard you getting out. He placed your clothes on the sink for you and sat at the edge of your bed.
You walked out feeling a lot better than he had been, you smiled a bit seeing all the things he had done for you. Seeing you he stood up motioning you to come to your side of the bed. You nodded laying down in your spot chugging some of the water he had sat for you. Your curled back up in bed feeling Seungs arms slink around you, you both laid in silence for a few minutes before Seungs started to talk.
“I’m sorry your boyfriend is dumb and can’t stop saying jerky things.” He breathed out squeezing you tightly. “You don’t deserve the words I said, but I really didn’t mean it in a harmful way.” He continued trying to find the right words to say “I enjoy how clingy you are, I love that you want to be around me all the time, that you wanna talk to me about everything. I didn’t want you to stop.. I never want you to stop..” his voice trailed off hearing him sniffle a bit “I want you to always cling to me it makes me feel so loved by you like you cherish every moment with me.” He said his voice cracking.
You started to cry a bit burring his face into your back “I can’t believe I hurt you though, I’m sorry it took me so long to come to you I thought you needed space. I thought-“ he stopped you could feel his hands start shaking “I thought my words made you hate me and you’d just end up breaking up with me when you’d see me next.” He cried harder into your back. He’s never really cried infront of you especially not like this. You turned your body to face him wiping his tears away “Min” you said softly kissing him.
“I could never do that, I just- I wanted to give you space and not be clingy. I didn’t wanna cling to you and end up pushing you away. I’m sorry.” You said running your hand through his hair. “No im sorry im the one that said the stupid stuff i did, I love you y/n with all my heart I need to start explaining myself more.” He said softly looking up at you. “I love you babe I love you so fucking much” you said pulling him tightly. “Let’s lay here and calm down hmm? I’ll order some food and we can talk more later if you want.” He said mumbling through your chest.
You nod kissing him again “sounds perfect my love, can we cuddle for a bit before we order?” You smiled making him smile too “of course” he said kissing you lovingly.
💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵
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pshcomforts · 4 months
Text
➳ bad habit | psh.
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nonidol!sunghoon x fem!reader
“i wish i knew you wanted me”
synopsis: sunghoon never realized you loved him in high school until you confessed it on a drunken, celebratory day.
warnings/content: written in third pov. mentions of alcohol. aged up — hoon’s 23 and reader’s 22. oblivious sunghoon. kind of idiots in love. cursing. not proofread.
genre: angst with little fluff
comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)
word count: 2.6k
a/n: fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s boyfriend), min-su (heeseung’s girlfriend), and ji-woo (jake’s girlfriend).
so excited to join @okwonyo’s celestial ballet event! hope this goes well with the song as you play it <3
༘˚⋆𐙚。masterlist⋆.✧˚
current song playing: bad habit by steve lacy
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
1:08 ────────|─────────── -2:43
after years in college, sunghoon found himself achieving a goal he’d never thought would come true — in which was landing his dream job abroad, allowing for his group of friends to celebrate with one last drinking night.
the air was filled with drunken laughs as everyone reminisced about the past, talking about high school and college memories, and the stupid stories that came from it.
y/n giggled next to dae, cheeks tinting a soft pink on her face as she mindlessly smiled, thankful for the non mentions of her crush on hoon back then.
but he caught glimpses of her grins, pressing his lips into a firm line to bite back whatever he could. his heart would still ring and call for her, making him unable to comprehend whatever jake was murmuring next to him.
“right hoon??”
“hm? oh yeah.. yeah, whatever.”
jake huffed out a laugh as he watched his friend keep his gaze on the girl in front of him.
“aye, sunghoon?” the aussie boy tried to snap, but hoon’s focus stayed completely on y/n as she unsteadily walked out.
he was quick to follow behind, ignoring the asked whereabouts from the others as dae peeked at ji-woo and min-su.
“should we..?” jungwon’s partner hesitantly questioned, trailing his voice off so the two could get the hint, but ji-woo only shook her head.
“no, let them talk.”
and so they did, leaving sunghoon to trail after y/n who decided to sit outside for fresh air.
the boy found her crouched down in a quiet area, much different than the rowdy atmosphere from before.
he gave a soft sigh, heart pounding in his ears as he took a seat next to her.
“hey,” his voice murmured. “you doing okay?”
he laid his eyes on y/n who still had bright cheeks from the alcohol consumed. she deemed a soft smile as her eyes closed. “me? of course i’m okay!” she shouted, hiccuping afterward.
sunghoon scoffed out a quiet laugh in return, hiding away his smile as he let his shoulders bump against hers again. the little touch was almost nothing, but it still sparked his heart that was mindlessly filled with her.
“you didn’t drink a lot, did you?”
“no…, you know i can’t handle alcohol very well.”
unknowingly, his lips curled as he remembered the other times they’d drink together in college.
“yeah.., i know.”
he felt his body warm up from the memories that flooded in, melting his heart in ways y/n couldn’t imagine.
“we had some good times in college, didn’t we?” she uttered, recalling back to the best memories she could find in her buzzed state. “i’m sure gonna miss you.”
sunghoon chortled out a laugh at her words. “i’ll miss you too, but i’ll still visit, you know?”
y/n felt her heart slightly shatter at the mere thought of not seeing her friend as much anymore. “yeah, but it won’t be the same, hoon. why do you think everyone was talking about our high school and college days?” she smiled, remembering the continuous group of friends kept along the years.
he sighed as he tilted his head up, glancing at each star that decorated the night sky. “high school was really something, wasn’t it?” he mumbled, softly freezing when the girl laid her head on his shoulder.
“yeah.., it really was.” he heard her muffle, allowing him to plaster on a wide grin.
“do you ever miss it? or wish you could go back?” sunghoon’s eyes twinkled as he continued to stare at the sky, thinking back to all of the good times he had.
“i’m not sure if i would honestly…,” y/n chuckled, causing him to hear it. he questioned what it was about, turning his head to find that she was still restlessly laying on his shoulder — so he glanced up at the stars again as he let her giggle.
“hoon..,” she hiccuped after a while.
“hm?”
“i was in love with you in high school.”
sunghoon’s heart immediately stopped beating when her words processed. he felt his body tense up and his throat suddenly ran dry once he blinked his eyes.
“w..what?” he stuttered, feeling like his heart was gonna burst. the male quickly pulled away, causing y/n to pick her head up as she beamed a half smile.
“yeah.. i was so in love with you in high school, i’m surprised you didn’t notice from our friends.”
he peered his gaze into hers as everything he felt almost went numb hearing the sudden news. his breaths got heavy, and his chest was heaving up and down from the realization.
from the lingering stares to the quiet shared touches they had in high school, the girls heart was close to exploding from each small interaction that never came to sunghoon’s attention.
from the way she tried to get close with him, asking him about his hobbies or interests to the way she also kept a distance to not be too much of a bother.
the high school girl was hopelessly in love with her friend who was oblivious.
his hand quickly ran to his chest, clenching onto the pained feeling as he remembered the constant ships with him and y/n from their friends. however, they always ended up being mindlessly excused by him. he deemed it to be uncomfortable for them both so he always pushed it away for her benefit.
going from that sign to another was when she always made sure to show up to his ice skating competitions with flowers and loud cheers, even when no one else could show. then they’d go out for ice cream and highlight the best of his performances.
✩ ‘i wish i knew’ ✩
or when he’d fall asleep during lunch and would suddenly wake up to a packaged sandwich and coffee milk on his desk with a little sticky note that’d say — ‘eat something, dummy y/n~ :)’ — causing an unaware smile to grace his drool covered face.
or even when the two would have to go to a study session together alone (totally not planned purposely by their friends), and they’d be out late together in tiring nights that’d be filled with quiet arguments and loud laughs. then hoon would knock out first and then the girl would too right after, letting them doze off while facing each other.
✩ ‘i wish i knew you wanted me’ ✩
none of those signs made sunghoon fall for her until after high school and in college.
when the academics began to get rough for him, he’d always think about just how much y/n was able to cheer him up in high school.
her constant nose crinkles and bright smiles were a heart throbbing realization that he loved his friend who was able to light his day.
ever since he realized it, he was always the one to make effort into having a full day that revolved around her, even if they had different schedules. it caused them to have constant drinking days and continuous study sessions that could be shared upon just those two.
but from what he didn’t know was that as soon as he figured out his feelings, y/n began to realize that he wouldn’t go for a girl like her. she was hit with the reality that even with her efforts in high school, he’d never turn to someone he just considered a friend.
so she forced herself to see him as a friend only, to see him as the way she thought he saw her. and though it hurt, it worked in some ways when she began to feel a warm fuzzy feeling she’s always felt towards her close friends.
sunghoon felt like an idiot. he was an idiot.
the signs were so obvious and yet young, high school hoon was too caught up in other things to realize it.
✩ ‘made a move, coulda made a move’ ✩
‘idiot’ — he mentally cursed to himself, heart breaking as y/n only laughed.
“it’s funny though, because at some point, i noticed how our friends began to give up on us being together. i guess they got tired of me constantly talking about you.” she chuckled to herself, still radiating off her buzzed state as she muttered, “sorry, this must be awkward to hear.”
sunghoon chewed his lips as he turned his gaze to her, finding the girl only staring at the night sky instead of him, though he wished she could just meet eyes with him.
“y/n..,” he weakly called, mouth dry with guilt. “i’m sorry…, i didn’t know you.. loved me in high school.”
✩ ‘if i knew, i’d be with you’ ✩
he watched her face morph into a reassuring grin, still not looking at him as if she couldn’t bear to lock eyes with the boy she used to love.
✩ ‘is it too late to pursue?’ ✩
“don’t be sorry, hoon. you didn’t know, you don’t have to be apologetic.” y/n finally looked back at him, face subtly lighting up in shock when she found him already staring at her.
“i still am…,” hoon defended, causing a hearty laugh to be heard from her, fluttering his heart.
“i’m okay, i swear. we were just kids anyway, what did we know? plus everything worked out for the best because we ended up being really close in college.”
ouch.
she meant her words to be filled with nothing but reassurance, but sunghoon couldn’t help the burning in his heart.
✩ ‘i bite my tongue, it’s a bad habit’ ✩
every part of his body ached with the pulses that were known as a heart break. his nails dug into the palm of his hands, harshly furthering it to distract what was really hurting him.
“right.. we were a good duo in both high school and college.” he murmured, laughing it off.
✩ ‘kinda mad that i didn’t take a stab at it’ ✩
y/n scrunched her brows as she shook her head. “maybe just college, high school was just me in love with you.” she grinned, jokingly ridiculing herself.
and college was him falling in love with her.
the way he always waited for her after her classes even when his class finished an hour early, or the way he always made sure she never drank too much with her lightweight — or even the way how she was now the one to knock out first in study sessions, and it’d let hoon stop studying and just linger his stare around her facial features as she slept.
but that was passed now.
sunghoon lowly chuckled, unable to hide away his feelings at this point as the girl was now the oblivious one.
✩ ‘it’s okay, things happen for’ ✩
“they’re memories i’ll always love to look back on.” y/n beamed, pursing her lips into a thin line as she huffed out a sigh. “i’ll miss you, hoon.”
she turned away, breaking the eye contact that he still longed for as she returned her head back onto his shoulder.
the boy exhaled a sigh as well, breaths lowly unsteady with the constant thought of high school y/n in love with him.
✩ ‘reasons that i think are sure, yeah’ ✩
“if you had a chance to redo high school, would you?” he restated his question from earlier. “like would you do it all if you got the chance? fall in love with me again?” his voice slightly trailed off, scared of what the girl would say.
y/n gave a soft hum as she thought to herself, unaware of what he was intending. “i don’t know if i’d go through the heartbreak again.” she laughed. “it was honestly pretty hard getting over you.”
hoon instantly felt his chest tighten at the admission, clenching his jaw to bite back the pain as he let her continue.
“i guess i would do it all again, but just to experience young love again. the innocence of having a first time crush and all is just so fresh, you know? it’s something you can’t have again after experiencing it.”
the male paused, only hearing his deep breaths as he realized that she was the one he had experienced that with, just as much as she did with him.
fuck, his heart hurt. it burned with a sense of loss, like this was the end for them.
sunghoon found himself unable to form a response as he was overloaded with how much time they could’ve saved if he knew.
“y/n..,” he softly croaked, gulping down his feelings when she interrupted — “but! i’d like to see that you not reciprocating my feelings back was a blessing in disguise.”
“o..oh…,” he cleared his throat. “really?”
“yep! i realized that after we started college because that was when i was able to really connect with you as a friend! made me realize that it was probably better off that we stayed this way instead of me being rejected.”
she laughed about her feelings being easily declined once more as sunghoon bit his lips and stayed quiet. it was a quick notice for her, causing her to softly nudge him.
“don’t dwell on the past and make it too awkward, loser.” y/n teased. “you don’t have to feel too bad for me.”
“i, uh.. just didn’t know… so i’m a little shocked.”
“i’d imagine you to be,” she cackled. “but don’t worry about this, that’s the past, let’s focus on your future! you’re gonna be flying out tomorrow for that job, i’m so proud of you.”
sunghoon smiled, nodding his head in agreement as he was finally brought back to reality.
“seriously so proud of you.. hoonie.” she gently called. “i’ll always cheer for you, okay? no matter where you are, i’ll always be your number one supporter.”
his lips softly curled at her words, eyes slowly blinking as he still felt his heart shatter. “from high school to now, you were always my favorite person to bring for support.” his husk voice murmured to her.
y/n grinned, tears welling in her eyes as she pulled him into a sudden hug. “i’m gonna miss you so much.., what am i gonna do without you?”
sunghoon scoffed out a laugh and sighed, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her in closer. “i’m gonna miss you too but you can live without me just fine, y/n. it’s me who won’t be able to do anything without you.” he replied back with a shaky tone, tears sparking in his eyes as well.
“shut up, you’re gonna make me cry more!” the girl quickly smacked his back, earning a chuckle from him.
they pulled away after savoring the hug a little longer. sunghoon placed a hand on her cheek, wiping away the tears that drowned her face as he murmured, “you can’t replace me while i’m gone, okay?”
“why would i ever replace someone like you?”
y/n wailed out more cries after her words, allowing hoon to pull her in for another hug. he gave reassuring strokes as he laughed from hearing her cries.
“are you teasing me right now??” her shaky voice asked.
“no, no! i’m just happy we’re experiencing this together!”
“liar!”
the girl sent a few smacks toward him, and the bickering went back and forth before they both deemed it enough.
the two went back to staring at the starry night with y/n’s head laying on sunghoon’s shoulder.
✩ ‘i know i’ll be in your heart till the end’ ✩
he loved her too late, and she loved him too early.
he wished he knew, he wished the girl he loved had confessed sooner because it was too late to make a change now.
though her heart still somewhat called for him, he was leaving and she couldn’t do anything about it.
★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★
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arminsumi · 1 year
Text
Seeing ex!Geto again after years
💗 すぐる
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note : srry to make y'all cry 👍 this was written from a raw heart lol
summary : oh god, he still loves you. oh god. all of it comes back to him in the moment he sees you. you say his name and it feels like a gunshot wound to the chest.
warnings : angst, kinda hopeful ending, not proofread
playme : my love mine all mine
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In the moment you turn to face the stranger, the world stops. Or at least the world between you and him. You always did "live in your own world" when you were dating, everyone pointed it out.
When Suguru sees you for the first time after not talking to you for... what, a year? He's so stricken. His eyes widen. His pupils dilate a bit. The color drains from his face. He doesn't know what he feels, but it's a snapping shattering breaking ruining feeling.
And when you, so shocked as you are, whisper his name with a chip in your voice "Suguru...?" It's like a gunshot wound to his heart. Bang. It kills him. And god it's only his name, isn't it crazy that the effect is so severe?
It has such a hold on him, you saying his name. He can't move; he's stationary, statue-like just like you in the middle of this cafe. He's paralyzed by your voice. The voice that used to sing him to sleep. The voice that used to talk philosophy with him at 2:32 AM on school nights. The voice that was the only thing that calmed him down during his darkest hours.
He stutters. No words come out of him or you, and yet so much is said. So much is said.
"Hey." he chokes out.
"Hey." you return.
Isn't it funny, he thinks when he gets home and slumps against the door after closing it.
How we used to speak until we ran out of breath, until we exhausted all topics possible. And then stared with pure love at each other in silence...
...and yet when you encountered each other in public by chance again, nothing but "hey"? He used to tell you that he was gonna spend his whole life with you. He used to call you baby. He used to cradle you in his arms. He used to love you vehemently. He used to kiss you until he gasped for air and laughed. He used to smile into those kisses. He used to swear he was yours, all yours. He etched your name into his skin, not figuratively; when you were teenagers you were fucking insane and giggled over the idea of etching your names into each other.
Sad. So sad. He feels his whole chest weighted, gravity pulls on his heart like it's pulling him into a grave.
While in bed, he stares at your phone number in his contacts. He blocks and unblocks. He types and deletes. He calls and ends calls. He nibbles his lip and sighs and gives up.
What would I even say...?
The image of a memory from September 21st 2019 flashes in his eyes. Your smiling face. Okinawa.
He snaps. And calls you. And it rings, rings rings rings rings rings —
"...hello? Whose number is this?" you ask, voice sending a shiver down his spine.
Fuck, that voice. That voice... is capable of murder. You kill me, baby. You kill me with your voice alone.
He makes a strangled noise. Tears roll off his cheeks. There's so many tears in fact. So many. Endless. It hurts him to shed every single one. And all his tears are for you.
"...Suguru, is that you?"
How could she know?
He chokes up and stutters, and says the quietest "hey" after clearing his throat.
It's 1:30 AM.
"You're still a night owl?"
There's tense silence............................................then you chuckle and it fucking breaks him. Devastates him. Tortures him so deliciously. Oh he missed that. Oh god he missed that. That laugh. That laugh is so beautiful to him. It's so brief and yet it nourishes his whole soul just to hear your laugh again. Oh god your laugh. Oh god... your voice.
Oh god, you.
"I am, yeah." you respond. "But you're awake too, aren't you?"
I want to hear her say my name again.
"I am..."
Please say my name again.
"You are."
Baby say my name. Say my name. Say my name.
There's silence. He knows, and you know, that the both of you are feeling flashbacks of memories crashing over the two of you like tidal waves. Memories of you and him.
Us.
"...did you ever think of me?" you ask.
"...I thought of you every day from the moment we parted."
You choke up. You laugh to cope with his revelation.
"How dramatic..." he can hear your voice grow hoarse, like you're in pain but trying to be funny. Because... it is funny, isn't it? This insanity we call reality?
"Sorry..."
"I've got to sleep... got work tomorrow."
"Me too."
"Okay..."
"Yeah."
"Hey?"
"Yeah?"
He holds his breath.
"Suguru."
His whole world... god, it's... he just... he...
"Y/n."
The two of you hang up.
A few minutes pass. Then the two of you call each other again. It's you calling him. His heart thumps hard. His chest is so tight.
"...hey."
"...hey."
And then... well, it's... it's just like the old days. But different. But still... that old feeling engulfs you and him during this phone call.
A phone call that starts at 1 AM and ends at 5 AM.
Dawn comes. When birds chirp.
And the two of you pass out while talking, the phone call still going. You wake up and see that he never ended the call after saying he would once you fell asleep.
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scoutswritingcorner · 5 months
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Those 7 Long Years
PLATONIC Papa Alastor x GN!Child!Reader
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TW: Angst- Alastor disappearing for those 7 years, fear of abandonment, separation anxiety. 
A/N: I wanna say by this time Reader is about in their pre-teen/teen years depending on how fast you think they are aging in the story!!
Your day started off fine but your Papa wasn’t anywhere around..but then he was never around..Until one day he popped back into existence.
It was a peaceful morning, as peaceful as it could get in hell, but nonetheless you got yourself up and dressed for the day. Slowly making your way from your bedroom to your Papa’s bedroom, he didn’t wake you up so you figured he had gotten busy but he wasn’t around..which was weird but not exactly out of the ordinary for him, he was a busy man. You knocked once..then twice..but he never answered so you slowly opened the door, “Papa?” You called out peering into his bedroom but he wasn’t there. You closed the door and made your way downstairs hoping to see your Papa’s shadow waiting for you at the bottom of the staircase but it was never there to greet you and you couldn’t hear his jazz playing from the kitchen either but you trekked onwards to find your Papa.
Hours..you spent hours running around the hotel trying to find him. You checked his bedroom and radio tower four times. Fear started to creep into your heart as you sat on the sofa in the foyer, tears welling up into your eyes as you tried to not think about it. He would be back, maybe he was at a meeting or got sidetracked with Auntie Rosie. Yeah! That had to be it, he was sidetracked with Auntie Rosie, you could give her a call and see if he was still there! But you didn’t move from the spot, just curled in on yourself and watched the doors of the hotel. He would come back eventually…right?
You glanced back at Charlie who was sitting right next to you and curled your legs into you even more. “Waiting for Papa..” You whispered out, answering her unasked question, “He wasn’t in his room or tower this morning..he’ll be back soon.” You whispered out looking back at her, tears falling down your cheeks. “He wouldn’t abandon me right?” Your voice broke on the last syllable as you clung to her arm. Her heart shattered at the sight of you crying..Where was Alastor?
You stayed in her arms for an hour or two just crying your little heart out. She didn’t want you to feel like you were alone anymore..
~~~7 YEARS LATER~~~
When Alastor had returned from his long 7 years away from the spotlight and his little fawn, he had entered the hotel like nothing had happened..because nothing happened. But something felt off when he entered, something..no someone was missing. Where was his little fawn? His shadow disappeared from his side and moved towards the stairs as if waiting for you to run down them at any moment but that moment never came. 
He hummed and walked towards the stairs before stopping when he saw you standing at the end of the hallway. Tears in your eyes, his heart shattered seeing you cry, he broke that one promise he made to himself years ago. To never be the one to make you cry. But here he was, silently watching as you broke down dropping the plates you were holding but before they could crash onto the ground his shadow had quickly scooped them up. “Papa…” You whispered out as he made his way over to you, watching you shake and tremble between each sob. Without a word he pulled you into his chest allowing you to cling to him, “You left, Papa.” He gently wrapped his arms around your smaller frame. He hated seeing you cry. He hated being the cause of your pain.
“I know, Little Fawn..I’m sorry.” He whispered out his ear flattening against his head, he couldn’t tell you why..he didn’t need to drag you into his problems. “You said you wouldn’t leave me again, but you did.” His smile pulled into a small frown as he rubbed your back, allowing you to cling to his jacket. 
“I’m here to stay for good, Fawn. I won’t leave anymore.” He whispered out and he would stay. He’d keep you by his side until this silly redemption hotel worked and you went up into heaven where you rightfully belonged.
A/N: IM KINDA BACK FROM THE DEAD-
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starsjulia · 1 month
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shattered dreams // leah williamson
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a/n : i long angsty one i wrote a while ago, enjoy!!!
warnings : angst, pregnancy, essential tremor.
Essential tremor, also called benign tremor, familial tremor, and idiopathic tremor, is a medical condition characterized by involuntary rhythmic contractions and relaxations of certain muscle groups in one or more body parts of unknown cause.
---
The early summer sun streamed through the open window of their cozy London flat, casting warm rays across the room. Y/N sat at the piano, her fingers dancing over the keys as she played a melody she’d been working on for weeks. The notes filled the room, rich and vibrant, each one flowing seamlessly into the next. It was a song she had written for Leah, capturing the love and joy they had found together.
As she sang the chorus, Y/N’s voice soared, filling the space with a sound that was uniquely hers—strong, emotive, and full of life. She could hear Leah moving around in the kitchen, humming along to the tune, and the familiar rhythm of their daily life brought a smile to her face. This was her happy place, where everything felt right with the world.
But as she reached the final verse, something strange happened. Her voice wavered, the note faltering as if it had lost its strength. She frowned, adjusting her posture and taking a deep breath before trying again. But the same thing happened—her voice quivered, not with emotion, but with something she couldn’t quite place. Frustration bubbled up inside her, but she pushed it down, chalking it up to a rare off day.
Shaking her head, Y/N moved her focus back to the piano, her fingers gliding over the keys. But now, the familiar movements didn’t feel as smooth as they usually did. Her hands seemed to tremble slightly, causing her to hit the wrong notes. She stopped playing, staring down at her hands as if they belonged to someone else.
“What’s wrong with me?” she muttered under her breath, shaking her head as if to clear away the strange sensation. She flexed her fingers, trying to rid them of the slight tremor that seemed to have taken up residence there. But after a few moments, it faded, and she convinced herself that it had just been her imagination.
Later that night, as they lay in bed, Leah noticed the frown on Y/N’s face and the way she kept flexing her hands as if they were bothering her. “Everything alright?” Leah asked, her voice full of concern.
Y/N hesitated, unsure if she should mention the odd experience from earlier. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she said finally, forcing a smile. “Just a little tired, I guess.”
Leah gave her a look that said she wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t push. Instead, she reached over and took Y/N’s hand in hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “If something’s bothering you, you know you can talk to me, right?”
Y/N nodded, feeling a rush of guilt for not being completely honest. “I know,” she murmured, squeezing Leah’s hand back. “It’s nothing, really.”
But as the days went on, the symptoms didn’t go away. The tremor in her hands became more frequent, and her voice seemed to waver more often when she sang. There were times when she couldn’t hit the high notes that had always come so naturally to her, and it felt like her voice was slipping through her fingers like sand. She started to avoid singing certain songs, fearful of hearing the cracks and wobbles that had begun to plague her.
Y/N tried to hide her growing anxiety from Leah, not wanting to worry her. But Leah noticed the way Y/N would stare at her hands in frustration, the way she hesitated before picking up her guitar or sitting down at the piano. Y/N’s passion for music, which had always been the most vibrant part of her, seemed to dim slightly, and Leah’s concern grew with each passing day.
One afternoon, Y/N was in the studio, recording a new song she had written. As she strummed her guitar, she felt the now-familiar tremor in her fingers. She tried to ignore it, focusing on the music, but when she went to sing the chorus, her voice cracked and wavered so badly that she had to stop.
“Damn it!” she cursed, yanking off her headphones and tossing them onto the console in frustration. She sat there, breathing heavily, her mind racing. This wasn’t just nerves or tiredness—something was wrong, and she couldn’t deny it any longer.
Leah had been listening from the control room, watching through the glass as Y/N’s frustration boiled over. She pushed open the door, walking over to where Y/N sat, her face pale and her hands trembling.
“Y/N,” Leah said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “We need to talk.”
Y/N looked up at Leah, her eyes filled with fear and uncertainty. “Leah… I don’t know what’s happening to me,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I can’t control it… my hands, my voice… it’s like they’re not mine anymore.”
Leah knelt beside her, taking Y/N’s hands in hers. “We’re going to figure this out,” she said firmly, her voice steady even as worry gnawed at her heart. “But first, we need to see a doctor.”
Y/N nodded, too overwhelmed to argue. Deep down, she had known for a while that something was wrong, but hearing Leah say it out loud made it real in a way she hadn’t wanted to face.
---
The visit to the doctor was tense, both Y/N and Leah filled with a mix of dread and hope. The doctor ran a series of tests, his calm demeanor doing little to ease their anxiety. Y/N sat on the exam table, Leah’s hand firmly in hers, as they waited for the results.
When the doctor finally returned, his expression was serious, and Y/N felt her heart drop. “Y/N, the tests show that you have what’s known as essential tremor,” he said, his voice gentle but direct. “It’s a progressive neurological disorder that primarily affects your hands and voice. Unfortunately, it’s likely to worsen over time.”
Y/N stared at the doctor, her mind reeling. “My hands… my voice… what does that mean for my music?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
The doctor sighed, clearly aware of how devastating this news would be for her. “It will become increasingly difficult to perform fine motor tasks, like playing instruments or writing. As for your voice, the tremor can affect your ability to speak and sing clearly. We can explore treatments that may help manage the symptoms, but there’s no cure.”
The room seemed to close in around Y/N as she struggled to process the information. Her music—her life’s passion, the thing that had always been her solace and her joy—was being stolen from her, piece by piece. She felt Leah’s grip on her hand tighten, but it couldn’t chase away the growing despair in her chest.
“And the pregnancy?” Y/N asked, her voice breaking as she placed a hand on her stomach. “Will it… will it affect the baby?”
The doctor shook his head. “The condition shouldn’t have a direct impact on your pregnancy or the baby’s health. But as the tremor progresses, it may affect your ability to perform certain tasks, like holding the baby or caring for them in the way you’re used to. It’s something you’ll need to consider as you prepare for motherhood.”
Y/N felt tears welling up in her eyes, the weight of the diagnosis crashing down on her all at once. “But I… I won’t be able to hold my baby? Or sing to them?” she whispered, her voice filled with anguish.
Leah’s own tears finally broke free as she wrapped her arms around Y/N, pulling her close. “We’ll find a way,” Leah said, her voice shaking but determined. “We’ll figure it out, I promise. You’re not alone in this.”
But Y/N couldn’t hold back the sobs that tore through her. The future she had envisioned—of playing lullabies for her child, singing them to sleep, holding them close—was slipping through her fingers, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
---
In the weeks that followed, Y/N and Leah tried to adjust to their new reality. Y/N began working with a therapist to manage the tremors and explored different medications to help control the symptoms. But it was an uphill battle. Every day brought new challenges, new reminders of what Y/N was losing.
The joy of their pregnancy announcement, which should have been one of the happiest times of their lives, was overshadowed by the relentless progression of Y/N’s condition. As her hands grew more unsteady and her voice more fragile, Y/N found herself retreating from the things she had once loved. She avoided the piano, left her guitar untouched in its case, and stopped singing around the house.
Leah watched Y/N’s light dim, her heart breaking for the woman she loved more than anything in the world. She did everything she could to support Y/N—attending every doctor’s appointment, helping her with daily tasks that had become increasingly difficult, and constantly reassuring her that they would find a way to make it through this.
But no matter how hard Leah tried to be strong, there were moments when the weight of it all became too much. Late at night, when Y/N was asleep, Leah would slip out of bed and sit alone in the living room, her head in her hands as she silently cried, overwhelmed by the fear and uncertainty of what lay ahead.
---
One evening, as Y/N sat on the couch, absently rubbing her belly, Leah joined her, sitting down and taking her hand. “How are you feeling?” Leah asked softly, her thumb brushing gently over Y/N’s knuckles.
Y/N sighed, leaning her head against Leah’s shoulder. “I’m scared,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m scared that I won’t be able to be the mother I want to be… that I won’t be able to hold our baby, or sing to them, or… or be there for them the way they need me.”
Leah’s heart ached at the vulnerability in Y/N’s voice, and she wrapped her arms around her, holding her close. “You’re going to be an amazing mother,” Leah said, her voice filled with conviction. “You’re so full of love, Y/N, and that’s what our baby is going to need more than anything. We’ll figure out the rest together, I promise.”
“But what if I get worse?” Y/N whispered, her fear breaking through. “What if I can’t… what if I lose my ability to even hold them?”
Leah’s grip tightened, her own tears spilling over. “Then I’ll hold them for both of us,” she said fiercely. “We’ll adapt, we’ll find ways to make it work. You’re not alone in this, Y/N. We’ll do this together, just like we’ve done everything else.”
Y/N nodded against Leah’s shoulder, though the fear still lingered, a dark shadow that refused to be banished. But Leah’s words, her unwavering support, were a lifeline Y/N desperately needed. She wasn’t alone in this, and maybe, just maybe, that would be enough to help her find a way forward.
---
As the weeks passed, Y/N and Leah began to find a new rhythm, though it was far from easy. Every day brought new challenges, new reminders of what Y/N was losing, but they faced it together, holding on to each other through the darkest moments. Y/N started working with a therapist, learning how to manage the tremors as best she could, and finding new ways to express herself through music, even if it wasn’t the same as before.
One day, after a particularly difficult session with her therapist, Y/N came home to find Leah sitting at the piano, softly playing one of Y/N’s old compositions. It was a song Y/N had written early in their relationship, filled with the joy and hope of new love. Leah’s fingers moved clumsily over the keys, and Y/N could see the concentration on her face as she tried to play the familiar melody.
Y/N stood in the doorway, watching Leah’s awkward attempts to recreate the music she loved. And despite everything, she felt a small, fragile smile tugging at her lips. Leah looked up, catching sight of Y/N, and immediately stopped, blushing slightly.
“I was just… trying to learn,” Leah said, looking a bit sheepish. “I know I’m not as good as you, but I thought maybe… if you couldn’t play, I could learn and play for you and the baby.”
Y/N’s heart swelled with emotion, and she crossed the room, sitting beside Leah on the piano bench. “You’re amazing,” Y/N whispered, her voice thick with gratitude. “Thank you for this. For everything.”
Leah smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to Y/N’s temple. “We’re a team, remember?” she said softly. “We’ll find our way through this, no matter what.”
And as they sat there, side by side, Leah’s clumsy notes filling the air, Y/N felt a glimmer of hope return. Their future might be uncertain, and there were still so many fears to face, but they had each other. And for now, that was enough.
---
As Y/N’s pregnancy progressed, the reality of her condition became more and more apparent. Her voice grew increasingly unreliable, and the tremors in her hands worsened. Simple tasks, like cooking or writing, became difficult, and Y/N often found herself needing Leah’s help. It was frustrating and heartbreaking, but Leah never once wavered in her support.
One evening, as they lay in bed, Y/N felt the baby kick for the first time. She gasped, grabbing Leah’s hand and placing it on her belly. “Leah, did you feel that?” she whispered, tears filling her eyes.
Leah’s eyes widened as she felt the tiny movement beneath her palm. “I did,” she whispered back, her voice full of wonder. “That’s our little one.”
The baby kicked again, and Y/N laughed through her tears, the sound filled with a mixture of joy and sadness. “I just… I want to be able to hold them, Leah,” she said, her voice breaking. “I want to be able to take care of them, to sing to them… but I’m so scared I won’t be able to.”
Leah wrapped her arms around Y/N, holding her close. “You will hold them,” she said fiercely. “You will take care of them, and you will sing to them, even if it’s not the way you imagined. We’ll find a way, Y/N. We’ll do this together.”
Y/N buried her face in Leah’s shoulder, clinging to her as the reality of their situation threatened to overwhelm her. But Leah’s words, her unwavering support, were like a beacon in the darkness, guiding Y/N through the fear and uncertainty.
---
As the months passed, Y/N and Leah prepared for the arrival of their baby. They attended birthing classes together, decorated the nursery, and talked about their hopes and dreams for their child. But beneath the surface, the fear of the unknown lingered, a constant companion that they could never quite shake.
Y/N’s condition continued to progress, and there were days when the tremors were so bad that she couldn’t even hold a cup of tea without spilling it. Her voice, once so strong and beautiful, had become shaky and unreliable, and she struggled with the loss of something that had always been such a fundamental part of her identity.
But through it all, Leah remained steadfast. She learned how to care for Y/N in ways she had never imagined, adapting to their new reality with a determination that only made Y/N love her more. And in those quiet moments, when it was just the two of them, Leah would remind Y/N that they were in this together—that no matter what happened, they would find a way to make it work.
---
The day finally came when Y/N went into labor. It was a difficult and exhausting process, but Leah was by her side every step of the way, holding her hand and whispering words of encouragement. When their baby was finally born, the sound of their tiny cry filled the room, and Y/N felt a wave of emotion crash over her.
The nurse carefully placed the baby in Y/N’s arms, and for a moment, everything else faded away. Y/N stared down at the tiny, perfect face of their child, her heart overflowing with love and awe. She had been so afraid that she wouldn’t be able to do this, but in that moment, all she could think about was how much she loved this little person in her arms.
Leah sat beside her, tears streaming down her face as she looked at their baby. “You did it,” Leah whispered, her voice filled with pride and love. “You’re incredible.”
Y/N smiled through her tears, looking up at Leah. “We did it,” she corrected softly. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”
Leah reached out and gently stroked the baby’s cheek, her heart swelling with love for her family. “I’m so proud of you,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “You’re going to be an amazing mother, Y/N. I know it.”
As Y/N held their baby close, she felt the weight of her fears start to lift. Yes, her condition would be a challenge—there was no denying that. But in that moment, she knew that she could do this. They could do this, together.
And as she looked into the eyes of their child, Y/N made a silent promise. No matter what the future held, no matter how hard things got, she would be there for them. She would love them with everything she had, and she would find a way to be the mother they needed.
Because at the end of the day, that was all that mattered. And with Leah by her side, Y/N knew they could face anything.
---
Time passed, and life with their new baby became a mix of joy and challenges. Y/N’s condition continued to progress, and there were days when it was incredibly difficult. But they found ways to adapt, to make it work. Leah learned how to support Y/N in ways that allowed her to be the mother she wanted to be, even if it wasn’t exactly how they had imagined.
And through it all, Y/N never stopped singing. Her voice wasn’t as strong as it used to be, and there were times when it would shake or falter, but she sang anyway. She sang lullabies to their baby, softly and gently, her love for them pouring out with every note.
Leah would often join in, her voice blending with Y/N’s in a harmony that was imperfect but beautiful in its own way. And in those moments, as they sang together for their child, Y/N knew that they had found a new kind of music—one that was born out of love and resilience, one that would carry them through whatever challenges lay ahead.
They faced their future with hope and determination, knowing that no matter what came their way, they had each other. And that, in the end, was enough to keep them moving forward.
Together.
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blingblong55 · 8 months
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Happiness-Simon "Ghost" Riley
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photo credits: @ave661
Part 1
---- F!Reader, angst, divorce, ex-husband!Simon, dad!Simon, happy ending ----
A/N: I owe it to heal you so...here it is, second/final part
It's been two years. Two years of missing his laugh, the warm blanket he would cover you in, the little whispers when he was sick and you were there to baby him. If you see him pass his new girlfriend, you see yourself kissing him. Does she whisper sweet nothings when he is anxious? Does she make herself a fool just to see him smile? There is happiness after him, yes but there was happiness because of him. Happiness, what a cruel world.
"Where is Daddy taking you?" "Daddy wants to surprise…" your son says her name and each time you hear it, your heart and mind block her. "…so he is taking us to the park," your son is so innocent.
By noon, the girl that you swear you're kind to arrives holding his hand. "Ready, buddy?" Simon asks and carries his son. Why must they look like a perfect family? Did you and him ever look like that?
"Bye mummy!" your son waving as he walks out with his father. "Bye, sweets," you fake that smile.
As the door closes again, there it is, that funny feeling and all you can do is drink wine and look at old photos. That white dress, the same one he swore vows to, the same one you wore as you two danced in an empty kitchen. Sleepwalk by Santo and Johnny played as he whispered how in this life, you were his person. If only then your heart knew the lie those words held.
You tried to move on, but every guy that you talked to or were set up with was compared to him. No smiley face after the text? Simon would do it. The new date didn't hold your hand when crossing the street? Simon made sure to hold it and went past that, Simon parked close to the restaurant, just so your heels wouldn't hurt you.
Dirty dancing in crowded kitchens, whispers during dinner with friends and kisses that felt like renaissance paintings, that is what Simon gave you and now, he gives it to her.
"Marry me, marry me for all I've got and I swear this world is yours, my world and heart are all yours," his desperation presents. "I'll marry you if you marry me," you smile and he laughs. His strong arms wrap around you as he spins you around the room. "Oh my love," he says when he kisses you.
Ten at night, Simon and your son at the door, "We're home!" your son runs to hug you and you smile, hugging him back.
A flashback runs to you.
It's a secret ceremony, two people, one backyard, two rings and two vows. "I always asked myself why me? I met you in a crowded street, a busy lane and there you were. Two years of understanding you, all your problems, all the nightmares, understanding that heart of yours and….here I am. I swear on all I've got that no one will ever replace you, no one can." You wipe tears away as you read. "I have no idea what the future holds, I'm a mess and…you love me. It must be a curse to love me and you bit the apple. You're a mess, I love you and it's a blessing to love you, I'll kiss you to wake you up."
In those pale brown eyes of his, Simon finds tears that run down. "I want to be the girl you always dreamed of and every day, that's what I'll try to be." ---
"Mummy?"
"Huh, oh yeah. How was it?" You ask Simon. "Not long enough," he kisses your cheek as he walks inside. "Where is she?" "Home, I dropped her off." He answers and walks upstairs. Simon Riley, the same man who has you looking for all the poisoned apples, waiting to give that kiss his lips need.
Eleven at night, little one asleep, Simon hugging you goodbye and as he pulls away, you keep him there. "Don't leave, I'm tired of playing strong," you whisper and his heart shatters.
Was this not what you wanted? He forced himself to love someone new and yet, you were there, begging with those eyes of yours for him to listen to the silence of pleas. Those big arms of his, wrapping you in a blanket of home.
"…I broke up with her, that's why she didn't come with us," he confesses and in that moment, that tunnel with the light at the end appears again. "What?" you pull away and he nods. "I can't love her like I do you. I feel like I'm cheatin' on her each time my mind wanders to you. I compare her to you. She doesn't make me laugh, she can't do it."
"Simon-"
"It's not like I dated her for long and she understood, that and she also wants her ex-husband back," he laughs at the irony.
"I'm not asking that you take me back, that all goes back to how it was before but what I am asking is that you give me Friday at 6 pm, dinner at our favourite place, on me." There it is, that smile of his. His dimples show when he sees your eyes go wide.
"I don't know-" "Dinner on Friday, 6 pm and I swear you'll love me until we are old and grey," a young Simon Riley once told you. You were just 23 and he 26. Looking at it now, it's funny how life works. Date nights, always at the same shitty restaurant you both grew to love, always a Friday at 6 pm, always tulips, always a kiss on your hand because he loved how you blushed.
He hated change, he hated how he never saw himself celebrate your 12th anniversary and he hated how he missed you dancing in the kitchen, that white dress on you and how he kissed your body on every anniversary since the first time he called you his wife.
Traditions, those never seem to end.
2 years later, one secret renewal of vows, one backyard, two rings, two vows and three hearts, four if you included that baby girl in your belly.
Simon Joseph Riley and the obvious beauty of his missus R/N Riley. Spring, flowers, the giggles from your son and the warm laughter of your husband and you serving lunch with that big belly of yours. "Boys!" you call out.
He bit the apple, you kissed the poisoned lips and now live in a dream with the perfect little family.
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