#i just like thinking about the worst years of his life for funzies. :)

[creativebrainrot]

HNNG havin THOUGHTS and VISIONS

I'm replaying the story on my EU alt and I picked the vigil for sylas. Trahearne in those story instances has a lil bit of FightBoy in him and I like leaning into that for my au trahearne, how he grows into being The Marshal(TM)- need to talk more about that too BUT

Trahearne starts as a sapling scholar, forced to play roles and to chase a "destiny" he may or may not truly care about. Ive seen others talk about him not really care about fighting the dragons like treating it all as a checklist for his wyld hunt- I like using that as where he starts. Heart of Thorns shows him what he couldn't see for awhile, he watches his best and first friend almost die in front of him, trying to save his life. That's The Moment he realizes what everyone has been fighting for the entire time, and when he realizes he wants to fight for tyria too.

So he deliberately steps into The Pact Marshal as a sort of persona. an image. He uses it for diplomacy, for speeches, for everything Official(TM) and he has the choice to step out of it. To just be "Trahearne" again whenever he wants. To spend time with his friends and his cats and read books and talk to his sister etc etc. He doesn't have to stay "The Marshal" in his private life.

Maelgwyn kind of does have to stay "The Beast" even in private. He has no one to REALLY share himself with. His real personality aside from the entire Bit of being The Desert Beast. Maelgwyn doesn't have a tree, he doesn't have friends separate from his persona as The Desert Beast. He can't turn it off he can't escape it. He did chase after a persona for himself. But he's trapped by his persona whereas Trahearne can find being the Marshal to feel like a purpose, something freeing.

Maelgwyn sought out his reputation because he had to. It was his best shot at assimilating or having any amount of normalcy. To gain a reputation that preceded him. And he does enjoy it but he couldn't escape it if he wanted to. He doesn't. But he IS trapped. Even when it doesn't feel like that.

Trahearne isn't as trapped- "The Pact Marshal" could be anyone. It just happens to be him. He can promote the Commander any day and be free of it all if he wanted. "The Desert Beast" will never be anyone except Maelgwyn. If he dies his legend lives on. If he leaves his legend stays and will welcome him back with open arms if he ever returned. In fact if he left his legend may very well haunt him.

Which is another thing. Maelgwyn hates leaving Elona BECAUSE his legend won't go with him. (and he hates non-dry desert climates.) He NEEDS the safety of everyone ATLEAST being at peace with his presence. When Divinity's Reach citizens stare or gawk or lust for him he hates it. Because he doesn't recognize it. Because they aren't familiar. Because it's not directed at the Beast. It's at him. He hates that. He hates being seen as a monster.

Trahearne is completely capable of finding SEVERAL small towns that don't give a shit about him being a firstborn or a sylvari or the pact's marshal or even at all KNOW about any of that.

Maelgwyn will be haunted by a reputation for the rest of his life whether it's because of his appearance- his stature and scars and coloration, his eyes and his demeanor. Whether he is "The Beast" or not.

Trahearne can just. be A Guy.

Okay enough rambling my main point: Maelgwyn chose his persona and he sought out his reputation and eventually it soured to him a bit even though he'd never willingly give it up.

Trahearne had a destiny and a reputation put on him and he didn't enjoy it- he just followed the steps he was told to, until he decided his own path and welcomed a persona that felt freeing.

Also for Trahearne its much more of an actual persona whereas Maelgwyn's relationship to his legend as The Desert Beast does border on an alter ego thing. Not by too much they are both very much personas but Maelgwyn uses his to hide his actual emotions and feelings and thoughts and all the like from even himself. He is not good with the FeelingThings for a long while.

They both have an interesting dynamic with their own relationships to their own roles. i might not be good at vocalizing it myself but my brain is goin 78mph abt this atm

[leiflitter]

Hi I'm doing a research paper on antiheroes and I'm using Oliver as one example. Could you maybe tell me why he appeals to you as a character despite the murdering and the scheming etc

You come into my askbox while I sleep and make me think? First thing in the morning? BUT I SHALL ANSWER

won't make any sense probably but HEY!

I think the main reason I love Oliver is because I can see a lot of myself in him.

Cut bc this will be long af

Granted, my perspective on the character is... I spend a lot of time thinking about that idiot, so this is fully based on my interpretation of him buttttt

Okay, so the murders and scheming are firstly... Ambiguous. Elspeth is the only one we see as it happens- not in a flashback, big-twist, oh it was my evil plan all along #classwarfare #girlboss #theyhatetoseeabadbitchwinning way- and she's so far gone she's on a ventilator and just dies without it. How did she get so sick? It isn't mentioned. Honestly, as someone with long covid, she's wandering around London without a mask. LADY. YOUR LUNGS.

Everything else? The spiked bottle. The razorblades. They're shown to us at the end, this big gotcha moment... From someone who has clearly spent every moment since Felix Catton died trying desperately to gather some small piece of him.

His home is decorated like Saltburn. He's immediately trying to get back in. The moth battering itself against the window.

Whether or not Oliver Quick is an evil, scheming murderer is entirely down to your interpretation of that reveal montage. Mad props to Emerald for that.

My interpretation of it is... Not to say he's innocent, but that he's a sad, sad man grasping at straws to give himself more agency. He's spent years dwelling on and analysing the worst time of his life, and as a good Eng Lit student (dude was doing essays on Browning) he's turned it into a narrative.

If we stop suspending disbelief, then we have:

Felix

Oliver put some cocaine in a bottle (as evidenced by Oliver having the same sort of vial Farleigh has in the main hall). Oliver drank some. Felix drank some. He threw up, Felix died.

I have probably said this before, but Felix's death cannot be directly attributed to Oliver's actions.

Felix was in the bathroom, and although we don't see him doing lines, he's not just hanging out there for funzies. He's going hard, probably mixing drugs and booze. He's so off his tits that he doesn't notice how bad/bitter the booze Oliver gives him tastes. Plus there's a reason people snort cocaine; it's efficacy is highly reduced when eaten, and it takes far longer to reach the brain. How long would Felix have just stood in the maze? Waiting there like a sim with no activities queued until he keeled over?

It's likely that Felix overdosed, but it's really unlikely that Oliver was the sole cause, if he was the cause at all.

Venetia

He left razorblades near her. That's literally all we see. From Oliver as a character, I don't think he has the guts to actually, directly kill- and it wouldn't make sense to. He'd be found out immediately if he did- any sign of violence and the Cattons would have private investigators and all sorts at their disposal. He was in the next room. It'd be open and shut. I do think, from the blood on the floor, that she tried to go to his room for help and he ignored her- but!

Leaving something sharp near someone in distress is another shitty scheme. What was he going to do if she didn't notice them? What if she knocked them off the side of the tub accidentally? Was he going to leave her a post-it note like HI V PLS KYS LUV OLLIE to make sure she noticed them?

Another thing that often is kinda... Glossed over... Is that Oliver is a fuckin teenager, and he isn't as smart as he portrays himself.

Olls. Why would you fool about with Felix's sister in plain view of the house? Ollie. What exactly did you expect one email to do? Erase Farleigh from existence? Oliver. Mate. You left your phone in the bathroom? Where Felix "no boundaries" Catton could find it? Why? Did you need to play Snake in the bath THAT BADLY? Oliver. Why would you lie about something so easily disprovable? Oliver Quick, you started digging a hole and it became Felix's fucking grave.

Older Oliver has turned what happened into a narrative where He Has Agency. He did it, and he did it on purpose, because HE WASN'T IN LOVE WITH FELIX (he was in love with Felix). He had a plan, you see, it wasn’t him being desperate and trying anything, everything he could to stay close to Felix.

He wasn’t a weird, awkward teenager who went away from home, fell in love with someone entirely unobtainable- due to socioeconomic bracket, gender, the year, all of that- and was so desperate to be near Felix that he built an unsustainable web of lies that fell apart. I think the maze scene is Oliver at his most honest, because he doesn't understand why his performance is any different, other than the amount of effort he's put in.

No, he was evil. A bad guy. A wolf in sheep's clothing, Felix his innocent victim. He's a genius... Because what is the alternative for Oliver Quick?

Admit that he was little more than a child, lashing out, unable to accept his own feelings- as he's unable to accept them as an adult- and now...

The immutable fact is that Felix died, and Oliver will never be over it.

What's the safer option?

I was a mess and I might be responsible for this and I was lashing out and I might have killed the thing I loved most because I fucked it all up.

or

I did it all on purpose.

And... To bring this back to the question.

I have been Oliver Quick in the bit before the bike scene. I've watched people I'd like to be friends with, living a life I was too shy or scared to go after. I can remember desperately wanting to be cool, to have a backstory, to be compelling...

I just never got desperate enough to lie. And I'm doing pretty good now, but I fucking get it. To want that connection so badly, to yearn for the life you see other people living, to want to be someone other than yourself.

So y'know

That's why I love him.

[dark-elf-writes]

KOT au is so fucking awesome I'm going through it now.

-(Imagine him with hate in his heart but always willing to split what little he has with the other kids out on the street, wide-eyed and so damn scared but hungry enough to get close to the scary boy with all of his scars.)

Touya would be the best, worst big brother ever. Like prickly as hell until you worm your way under his skin then he would commit many crimes for you, up to and including murder.

-(murderous little ducklings)

this will forever be a favorite line. Like all picture is this ^^^ with knives🤣🤣

-(Imagine a king of the lost and broken.)

OUCH like this whole paragraph is brilliant but you paint such a picture with words I CAN'T. Like 'villains' is appropriate for sure, but like the number of adoption papers floating around UA must be ridiculous, leaving supplies out there my god 🤣🤣

-(Remembers that nothing in life comes free and there are always strings attached.)

For this to be his viewpoint only to be confronted with the actual reality of (Present Mic with the lamest disguise he has ever fucking seen) ghajnvfjallghllnjdklalgjklHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA Fucking perfection!!!!!!!

And Vlad King's inability to whistle is classic, but nothing will ever top Aizawa (omeone who is either an Underground hero Touya has never heard of despite living on the streets for years or an Actual Fucking Demon™️ shoves a backpack full of supplies and cat keychains into Touya’s chest before swinging off into the night like some sort of Sleep Paralysis Spiderman.) The first time I read this I laughed myself to tears and I still cackle every time I go back through this tag.

-(Nezu himself sauntering up with a new notebook and set of pens every time Izuku runs out is any less terrifying.)

Fear! Totally valid fears here.

-Izuku doesn't need the sharps, no sir ma'am mx, noooooo. keep the knives and pointy things away from the green one.

-(t’s in essence one teenager trying to raise three feral children while every hero in the area tries to lure all four of them home like stray cats while also pretending that it is absolutely not what they’re doing.)

I need this. For survival I need this. The pros finally convincing them to go to UA and literal explosions happening minimum twice a day once Izuku finds the support labs. Himiko traumatizing at least one person a day by playing up the creepy factor for funzies. Shoji following suit by deliberately placing limbs in the worst spots just to see people jump. And Touya laughing when the Pros look to him, "You volunteered for this, they found me, I was stuck with them. You dumbasses picked them up with a fucking bear trap, what did you expect?" fully ignoring the fact that he's the only one they listen to and that he has (and will continue to) risk prison for all of them.

-(hat scar is the only one he wears with pride)

I feel like he flash the scar as an intimidation factor whenever he could. Like someone doubts Himiko, show scar 'she did this to me. She likes me. She doesn't like you. Think about it.'

-(Mezou tucks himself behind a dumpster to eat)

BABY😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 You deserve all the love you sweet child!!!!! For real though, I feel like Mezou is criminally underutilized in fics and in canon material honestly.

-Every thing about Izuku and how Touya found them hgnreaklfnfdiaeghruaingkdf;ae They need someone and Touya's over protective sibling energy came through like a freight train with no brakes. And the back and forth with the shop owner 🤣🤣🤣 She is 100% grandma energy and I hope there comes a day that Touya shows up with one of the pros and she lectures him for disappearing.

-(keeps threatening to make hawks into fried chicken)

I would actually pay money to see this conversation animated. Like Hawks has gone full birdy, and Touya is desperately trying to escape before completely losing his shit, whether it's burning him alive or busting into laughter, who knows, he'll never admit it.

-Fuyumi and Mirko for the win, no notes, full support. WE STAN THE LESBIANS!!!!

-Fuck Endeavor and Ass Might. That is all.

-(matching a sad blue eyed, white haired child with burn scars to the other sad blue eyed white haired children with burn scars.)

Okay soooooo seeing the reunion of the kids would be heartbreakingly beautiful.

-(I mean Touya if he can’t get his hands on a box of hair dye is pretty obvious)

IF this ain't the truest fucking fact. It's the Clark Kent Effect, but hair.

-Just the discord server. Please! I need an entire series just of that because can you imagine?!?!?!?! The mass parental energy? The conspiracies and 'fuck you' at the Commission. Fuck I'm here for it.

-Fire puppets. Just FIRE PUPPETS!!! Can you imagine the first time Yamada finds the kids together and Izuku and Shoji are giving the big eyes at Touya until he caves and starts doing a fully fleshed out puppet play? Like Aizawa saw it first, but the first time they see it in person???

-*chants* To-ko-de-ku, To-ko-de-ku, To-ko-de-ku. The first interaction being Izuku saving him from bullies and using their ridiculously intimidating siblings as the visual threats they are??? hgaingdmklghiwuopapghi (“I’m telling nii-chan you inherited his bird thing.”) I hope to fuck someone records Touya's (and Keigo's) face(s) when she tells them. It needs to end up in the discord server.

-(he sprawls over some back alley couch that’s definitely infested with something and smells like cat pee.)

Still top tier imagery ,10000000000000000/10 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Plus the gremlin intervention fuck yes!!!

-(Touya is both Gay and Dramatic as personality traits)

Enough said.

-(Aizawa doesn’t feel like either death or retirement can come fast enough.)

This is just canon? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

-The gremlins version of Santa is correct. We support 100%. Touya can stop being a buzzkill

-Pickpocket alllllllll of the villains. ALL of them. AFO has to be the goal though. Just out of spite. It's gotta be him.

-(Mezou stole the bullets out of Snipes gun and the man was so baffled trying to figure out how he did it that he didn’t even fight when the cuffs went on.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHERHIOJKGNFKABNJ

-(Monoma’s wallet shows up.

In Bakugou’s pocket.)

WHY DO I HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO ARTISTIC TALENT?!?!?! I NEED TO SEE THIS!!!!!

-(Touya with head in hands like “we had arson for dinner yesterday choose another felony”)

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Careful what you wish for there 🤣🤣🤣🤣

-(Plausible deniability makes the world go round tbh.)

I feel like that's the entirety of this AU.

I FUCKING LOVE THIS!!!

When the muses return to MHA, I'm so excited to see where some of these ideas go. Like zero pressure, but like I'm waiting like this. very patiently.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I MEANT TO REPLY TO THIS EARLIER I FORGOR

No but King Of Thieves is so special to me. Like Touya who is more morally flexible but still above all else a good brother and his hoard of equally morally flexible younger siblings that can’t keep their hands to themselves is so dear to my heart. Once I can get the words to go for MHA again it’s all over no one will be able to stop me

[campbells-content]

Au where Anne is moon goddess and Marcy is ocean god and Sasha is sun god.

Also, Anne:(she/her), Sasha:(she/he), Marcy:(they/he)

//tw suicide, temporary death

They're not immortal immortal, they still die but when it happens they are reborn on earth with their memories.

Sasha got irritated and tired of the constant burning he felt and started lashing out at the ones closest to him. She gets in a fight with Anne and they end up both almost falling to their death but Sasha pulls a princess prom Adora and stops them at the last second, throwing Anne to the top.

Alexa play Lean On Me by Bill Withers

They both knew he could've used his powers and gotten up safe but he just stared at Anne as he let go.

Now lil Sasha has no memories.

Lil Marc just follows Anne around, he's usually the last of the three to speak and he's okay with that as long as he has Anne.

Anyway, the au focuses on Sasha. She meets Anne and Marcy at 6 yrs old and they instantly try to tell him they're gods. Sasha thinks it's just pretend and goes along with it for funzies but when he's with the other two her brain just ignites and he feels that sensation she doesn't remember trying to escape.

When he tries to describe the feeling to his mother she smiles and tells him he's in love.

Anne also tries to keep her out of trouble saying things like: "We’re supposed to be together forever, I'm not gonna wait 90 days for my forever." Referencing a show that was always on at Sasha's house.

After a few years, Anne realizes Sasha doesn't and isn't gonna remember a single thing so she loses hope and stops showing up to their hangout spots. Marce, following Anne, does the same.

Without Marcy to cool her off or Anne to keep him on course, the burning feeling gets out of control.

Sasha tries to find them, even in her teens but there isn't much a 14 yr old can do. He gets kind of lost in the feeling, taking showers for too long, walking into stuff, forgetting entirely about what month it is.

Sasha has nightmares. He dreams of burning things beyond repair, of burning her friends, and worst of all, burning her family. They all seem so real.

Sasha's mother is trying to support him but most of what she understands is that she doesn't understand. So Sasha finds himself in therapy once a month.

When she turns sixteen she starts waking up from the nightmares with burns on his skin, they get worse and worse as time goes on. His therapist has seen them and mentioned them but didn't press her. They did tell her mother and she tried to talk about it but all she got out of him was "I don't know."

When he finally sees either of the two, it's Marcy, on their own without Anne.

He'd run away because their family was moving and they didn't know if he'd ever see the two again in this life. By now only some powers were active. Sash invites him over and they go to her house.

With Marcy, the burning feeling extinguishes. It's replaced by a calm flowing like she's floating on his back in the ocean.

She doesn't want to lose this feeling so she clings to his hand, asking them to stay.

Marcy is a little concerned by the condition of Sasha's room, whether it's the fact that it looks like a normal teenager’s room or the fact it was so disorganized. No sign of the neat control freak god he once knew.

Marcy stays in the guest room after explaining things to Sasha's mom.

[starlightsigner]

would you like to share any of your headcanons about saguru or kaito? Or, if you'd prefer to keep those to yourself / dont necessarily want to see them worked into someone else's story, how about some preconceptions about these characters that typically rub you the wrong way? also! do you have a favorite kid heist? or a heist you WISH saguru had been involved in? -dcmk secret santa <3

I cant resist an opportunity to share my headcounts lol it would be cool to see them in something but it’s also nice to just be asked about them <3 

some of my hakuba headcanons are that he showed his intelligence early but unlike conan it was embraced instead of people thinking it was odd for his age and that it lead to him being a loner as his family encouraged him to be a detective early on ‘look at our ten year old he’s already solved over 20 murders!' and as a result I feel like his social skills are severely underdeveloped and he doesn't really know how to make real friends, with the ekoda gang being the most sociable he’s ever been outside of his family’s high society or a professional investigation. After joining the kid investigation I think he would absolutely learn everything he can about precious stones, stones that may become targets, any any related stories about those stones. he probably would have found a mention of pandora at some point but dismissed it until something reminds him of it. I also 100% believe that his case book on kid started with him filling out kaito’s information to build a profile then turned into things he loves about him, ‘kid cant ice skate, kaito cant ice skate, kaito looks cute when he pouts after falling trying to ice skate’

for kaito I think that sometimes he struggles with the thought that pandora wont be showing up anytime soon and he worries about keeping the balance between kaito and kid, especially when he runs out of targets in japan and has to start looking globally. he doesn't like to think about it tho. sometimes kaito probably goes out in disguises either for practice or for funzies, it helps him get away from his problems for a bit. if he sees someone he knows like this he will absolutely either mess whit them, chill with them, or on rare occasions say something he may be to scared to say as himself. also his favorite non gem related thing to steal is hakuba’s watch to the point that if they're at school and someone asks hakuba for the time he holds out his hand to kaito to get it back, he never just hands it to him tho, that's too easy

it’s been awhile since I’ve seen it but I remember wishing he had been part of  the blush mermaid heist. cant for the life of me remember why but that’s just an excuse to watch it again! also just private eyes requiem in general, my headcanon is that he was at the park the while time thinking this was the worst double date he’d ever been on as he became aoko and akako’s third wheel, he held all of the stuffed animals akako ‘won fair and square’ for her gf

[redrikki]

Hypothetically, if Darth Vader was still on the dark side with Snoke and Kylo Ren joined them with his weird Darth Vader worship, I can legitimately imagine Vader just ... being so, so, so horrified that this stupid piece of shit emo lame wankstain is his grandchild. He'd probably leave the dark side just to get the hell away from him as quickly as possible. He'd also think that Kylo Ren is a fucking joke because that's exactly who he is. Also, his grandchild's tantrums are embarrassing.

Darth Vader’s whole relationship to the Dark Side, let alone the Dark Side and his family, is so complicated I don’t even know where to begin with this ask.

Anakin did not join the Dark Side as part of a quest for power or for funzies. He did it because he was desperate and he legit hates himself and every aspect of his life post joining the Dark Side, but thinks he’s too undeserving of a merciful death to end it. He must obey his Master. He basically has clinical depression. He’s a fucking mess. He wanted Luke to join him in the Dark Side because he thought that it would a) provide some quality bonding time with his son and b) get him out from under Palpatine’s abusive thumb. He was obviously unhappy when Palpatine tried to recruit Luke to the Dark Side because he didn’t want Luke to go through what he had.

We honestly don’t know too much about why Kylo Ren joined the Dark Side other than the fact that Snoke was somehow involved and that he was plotting to join the First Order along with several other students even before all that flashback bullshit with Luke happened. He didn’t do it because he was desperate and backed into a corner like Anakin. He didn’t do it to save a loved one like Anakin. His main motivation seems to be a cross between desire for power, entitlement, spite, and possibly some sort of predatory grooming by Snoke. It’s all speculation at this point.

Thanks to The Force Awakens, we know that Kylo Ren has some doubts and regrets about joining the Dark Side, but at every opportunity chooses to double down on this Dark bullshit in a quest for more power. He is given multiple outs, from random old guy on Jakku, from Han, and from Rey, but consistently attacks the messenger. He murdered his own dad and tried to murder his mom.

Darth Vader was raised in a cult which told him that there was no escaping the Dark Side. Padme started to offer him a way out, but was interrupted by Obi-Wan at the worst possible moment. He hurt her in his rage and he literally never got over it. His (false) belief that he killed her was basically the fuel for his 20-year bout of depressed self-loathing and actually helped to keep him in the Dark. The second Luke offered him a chance to do and be better and escape from the cloud he was under, he jumped at it.

Basically, I think a Darth Vader who never left the Dark Side would be a ball of toxic depression and externalized self-loathing. He would fundamentally not understand Kylo Ren’s motivation for joining the Dark Side. He might feel pity. It might piss him off. I really don’t know which, but I doubt he would think his grandson was a ‘lame wankstain,’ but he probably wouldn’t be too pleased with his life choices.

[fullofleaves]

Hi! I've been a huge fan of your work for years now. :) I think you're one of the authors who understand the depth and complexity of Loki's character the most, and you have such an amazing way of portraying both his strong and vulnerable aspects in your stories. I was just wondering if you've seen Ragnarok and if you have some time, would you be willing to share with us your honest thoughts about it? (Particularly about Loki's character development from the first two Thor films to this one?)

Yoooo sorry for taking forever to answer this, but the true fact is I had to go see Ragarok again to formulate a proper answer.  But, wow, thank you so much!  I really love Loki’s character, and spend probably Way Too Much Time thinking about him, so this is a great question.

Anyway.  HAVE I SEEN RAGNAROK.  Short answer: YES.  Longer answer: YES I HAVE SEEN IT THREE TIMES NOW AND NEED TO GO AGAIN AT SOME POINT.  It’s a very important movie to me, given my love of A) Loki, B) Loki being stuck in absolutely stupid situations, and C) Thor throwing stuff at Loki’s head.  That said, it had a couple details didn’t love so much, but overall it was exactly the kind of shit I’m in to.  I mean like… you’ve read the crap I write so you could have probably guessed that already.  I live for Loki’s suspicious relationship with the Grandmaster and the orgy ship and everyone saying the word anus a few too many times and Bruce complaining about Tony’s tight pants.  And the play.  Sweet Jesus, the play.  A+ material.  A+.

But Loki’s character.  There’s so much that could be said here, and I’ve seen a lot of really good meta floating around already, so I’m going to stick to a couple key points.

I really like this version of Loki?  And I think it’s a good direction for his character to go.  In the first Thor movie you had him starting off as a mischievous character but not really “evil”, until everything in his world went to hell and he kind of lost his shit.  In Avengers, well, he’s Full Evil, killing people for funzies and generally fucking everything up.  In Dark world, I don’t think he actually repented at all sitting locked away in prison… until Frigga’s death.  This is the first time his actions have had a real consequence for him, and you can see the change it makes when he fights alongside Thor.  And now here I feel like he has, in some ways, almost come back to who he was in the beginning.

He’s not Evil.  He didn’t kill Odin when he easily could have.  As “Odin”, he didn’t kill Thor or have him banished or send him off on a death sentence of a quest, or even try to do anything like that.  It’s implied he just kept encouraging Thor to stay away from Asgard, giving him space to build ridiculous statues of himself and commission bad theater.  He’s Loki of Asgard again, but like… a more confident, evolved version.  He’s been through actual hell with the Chitauri, did the whole supervillain thing, and now he’s just hanging around pulling the greatest con Asgard has ever seen by pretending to be king.  He didn’t even kill Heimdall, who probably saw right through his illusion.  Just discredited him and sent him on his way.  The point is: no more killing (at least of anybody more important than a random alien lackey or undead soldier) and his leadership of Asgard is more IDGAF than villainous.  Like if anybody noticed anything weird, they probably attributed it to Odin going off the deep end after Frigga’s death, not “we’re obviously being conned by an evil mastermind”.

Side note: this whole Odin charade would have been going on for several years by the time Thor finally outed him.  I think it’s possible that by this time, on some level, he was almost relieved to be caught.  It looks like he’d been pushing things further and further to see how much dumb shit he could get away with, tempting fate.  He doesn’t seem that upset at the big reveal, so obviously kingship of Asgard wasn’t a critical position for him.  He was just doing it for the lulz and basking in his own successful scheme.

And then they go to Earth to pick up Odin, and I think this is really Loki’s first wake-up call in the movie.  He had to have been expecting either Odin to still be under his enchantment (and Thor will kick his ass), or for Odin to retaliate in some way (as Odin is famous for doing).  In either case, he would have been mentally preparing himself for a confrontation.  That doesn’t happen.  Odin accepts and forgives him, which throws his whole balance completely off.  Is he reassessing all of his life choices that led up to this moment and rethinking his entire worldview?  Probably not.  But he has to, at the very least, feel kind of shitty.  You can see that in how he stays absolutely silent throughout the entire scene.  Not even a single word of argument or a weak attempt to explain himself. It’s Loki’s special brand of remorse.  You know: the kind where you don’t have to apologize (and probably get mad when somebody tries to talk to you about it.)

Now for the next wake-up call, let’s consider that Loki landed on Sakaar weeks before Thor did.  And because he was kicked out of the Bifrost beam first, he had no idea how the fight between Thor and Hela ended.  Did Thor win?  Who knows?  From his vantage point, it looked like Hela was pretty savage and had a good chance at coming out ahead.  He had to consider the very real possibility that Thor was dead or otherwise out of the way.  And you’d think that somebody who professed to have such a desire to sit on the throne would do anything to find his way back to Asgard to see WTF was going on, but… he didn’t.  He stayed where he landed. I’m still trying to figure out his motivation behind this choice.  Waiting for the right opportunity?  Maybe.  But if he’d already stolen the security codes, what was stopping him from leaving?  I think it’s more likely that he’d given up (at least for the time being) and decided this was is life now.  It was his fault Odin died and Hela was released.  His fault Thor could very well be dead and Asgard destroyed.  Add Frigga’s death on top of that and I’m thinking he’s decided at this point that Asgard is better off without him.  

And you can see this in the infamous elevator scene.  Loki mentions wanting to stay on Sakaar, in what’s pretty obviously a setup for Thor to say “oh no brother you are way too important to me, we must stay together”.  And then he’d grudgingly agree.  Instead, Thor’s like “YEP, THIS HELLHOLE SURE IS PERFECT FOR A SACK OF DICKS LIKE YOU, LMAO.”  He asks if Thor really thinks so little of him, when he has to think so little of himself.  It’s kind of a crushing blow to hear that Thor agrees.

My opinion?  Loki wouldn’t have tried to betray Thor in the following scene if Thor had given him the answer and brotherly love he was looking for.  Like, he would’ve betrayed Thor eventually, because that’s what he does, but it’d probably be more like “Hey Thor now that we’ve saved Asgard, how about you go off and restore peace to the realms while I stay behind and definitely do nothing to undermine your authority and usurp power again”.  He knows Thor’s the only one who has a chance at defeating Hela, so it’s in his best interest to stay on that side of the equation.  It’s only when Thor turns him down that his Lokiness gets the better of him and decides to turn Thor in for the bounty and go his own way.

So why does he go back to Asgard?  Spite, probably.  I don’t think he ever specifically wants to be GOOD, per se.  He’ll always have a massive chip on his shoulder that’s giving him an excuse to be a stupid shit and ruin stuff for everyone, especially himself.  But I do think, at certain points, he has wanted to ACT good.  He wants to step up and do what’s right, either to prove something to himself (ie, killing Laufey) or to prove something to Thor (ie, showing up out of the mist with a giant spaceship to save the day).  That struck me as a real “you betrayed me but now I’m helping you, don’t you feel bad?” move.

Okay.  So.  Where does Loki’s character end up after all this?  Well there’s this really great post I’ve seen going around about how the existence of Hela helps him realize that, shit, maybe he’s not a Bad Guy.  Because if Odin’s own blood daughter can turn out that spectacularly fucked up, his own problems and hangups and crimes seem kind of paltry in comparison.  And I agree with this 100%.  Compared to Hela, he’s small potatoes.  Hela is now officially the Worst Child Ever and this has to make him feel better about himself.  It has to.  Before, Thor would probably complain to his friends about how terrible Loki was (in fact, he does just this when telling the snake story), but now?  Now Thor can complain to Loki about how terrible Hela is.  And Loki can be like, “Wow, yeah, she’s just off the fucking charts with Evilness.”  And then they bond with a fistbump, or whatever.

ANYWAY, the point of all this is…?  Loki goes through a lot in this movie, but I think he ends up in the right place.  I mean, obviously not geographically, because they’re about to be screwed up the ass by Thanos (I assume).  But he’s had a four-movie arc now, bouncing all over the place in terms of motivation and emotion, and it seems like he’s kind of… settled now?  He’s back where he started, at Thor’s side, but after all he’s been through I think he now has a better handle on what he wants for himself and where he thinks he belongs, as opposed to what others tell him he wants and where they say he belongs.  Maybe it’s just me wanting to see what I want to see, but he comes across as a character who’s more comfortable with himself.  Especially compared to the Loki who was lashing out so much in earlier movies.  He’s had his rebellious phase.  Now it’s time to start over rebuilding his relationship with his brother.

[prynnehesters]

why i hate college theatre majors, an essay perhaps

ok, so i was in theatre in high school. heck, i was in theatre when i was in 4th grade, but in high school and elementary school, i was an actor, whereas in college i was a techie, so mayhaps that is why my experience is terrible. but here we go:

elementary school was a local theatre which focused on getting children into acting coming to various schools in our district and directing like, 1 show a year. it lasted for a few months and gave 50 kids grades 4-6 (although it changed to 3-5 probably years after i left because our district changed) something to do after school. i never got big parts, but i always ended up hating the director because they sounded fake or were a bitch or whatever and i never got big roles but i mean, whatever. i was honestly in it for the cast parties, but those were regulated too and i couldn’t have all the pizza i wanted (disappointing). idk but like, all i remember from elementary school was kids being mean to me, but me still going back to do theatre, like an abusive relationship

in junior high, my cousin scared me out of doing theatre, so i didn’t do it until 9th grade when i needed more electives since i hated choir and only had sports

in high school, our drama club was majority student run. in previous years (like when i was in grade 7) it was run by an art teacher and there was this amazing student director but they graduated, so then drama club was in a rut, but it got fished out after a year of dealing w this shitty history teacher, and then we had some amazing student directors, but then right before i left drama sunk back into the hole and then got fished out again. idk, we’ve had different periods. i just hated musicals because i never had fun during them and the songs were annoying. also as an actor i hated getting small parts but i loved drama club so much but my parents were discouraging when it came to it and it fell apart my senior year so i decided to study science and went to college w that mindset

i didn’t really interact w theatre kids my first 2 years of college...it was bits and pieces of occasional thtr ppl, and most of the ppl i met were tech ppl and they were chill. i met one actor guy, he was an RA and an asshole

it wasn’t really until my 3rd year at the end of it in thtr 101 but everyone was chill and the proff was chill and i got involved in a big musical and worked backstage w some chill ppl and this one chick who ended up being really bad. her name was a slur and she was just...that annoying cute girl who knows she’s cute so she’ll use it to be annoying to guys...i hate ppl like that. at the time she was a thtr minor, but she changed to major shortly afterwards and i think she’s one of those ppl who wants to be an actor but isn’t good enough imo. idk, she’s a tryhard

and then i jumped full into the world of thtr at my uni after that class

i auditioned for the big musical and i went in there anxious as hell and ran out sobbing because i flubbed my audition. the teacher didn’t even remember me and i had to reintroduce myself 

i worked on a production as a run crew member and that production was awful. like, 2 of the ppl i worked with were ok, but almost all of the actors were trash, the director was trash, and the freshmen backstage workers sucked ass. also the stage manager was an asshole. the only cool ppl were the lead female and one of the freshmen backstage, but i worry about him. one of the freshmen girls backstage gave me the wrong vibes and i think 1 of the guys faded into the void and so did she. 

i took an acting class for funzies and it was fun but so many of the ppl in the class rang fake to me so i couldn’t take it seriously. also there were a lot of assholes. idk i just remember i told a girl i was autistic, but in super vague terms and she just stared at me for what seemed like an hour and then left. i later found out she lived in a single room so...ooop

and because i talked abt shitty thtr kids it made ppl seem to think i was a thtr kid....what the fuck!?!?!?! like, my stem major breatheren are boring af!!! there’s nothing to talk abt there. they’re boring and basic and like beer. that’s it!!!! thtr ppl are drama on wheels...

idk...just actors seem like ass and i felt like i was both butting into their conversations and being actively ignored

a lot of actors were total dicks to me

they just talk like twitter is real life and real life is twitter

what else....????? um, since they’re in college they can’t just enjoy popular theatre, they have to like weird edgy bullshit and the only ppl who come to see shows at uni are ppl who have to and their friends and family

also while working on a show i had to deal w actors who were fake deep and they acted like being an actor was so hard and whatever...like literally so many actors just get plucked off the streets nowadays

the worst theatre kids are the ones who hate movies tbh. like the movie stans are annoying...but those who actively hate movies are on another level 

also i managed to piss off a property designer one time because i was disappointed that she used axe as a lesbian and i think she forgot about the encounter but she was probably the worst techie i met 

actors hate it when they have to act as techies because they’re better than it, or so they think

most techies are fine, but there are those techies

most actors are awful, but then there are some genuine ppl who are alright

i was a prop assistant on a play and their team was too big and they were unorganized and the playwright was an asshole. she’s still writing shitty plays and having them produced by local theatres and i think she sucks and she was one of the most awful ppl who thinks she’s hot shit bcuz she made it to 400 level acting 

just....actors in general because our program is catered to them because they level up essentially every year and techies take like, 1 class, and boom, they’re a stage manager

a lot of the writing they write is “fake deep”. like, i remember one guy was sharing his piece on these research scientists and one of them gets naked for no reason whatsoever and then ppl were talking about how “deep” it was and i was disgusted because the guy who wrote it was like “huh, i haven’t thought of it in that way...but i totally meant it like that”

my playwrighting class in general was a nightmare. so many of those plays were shite. i apparently was one of the best playwrights and the other ones who were “the best” were the girl who basically wrote wolf 359 but in a submarine, some guy who wrote a play about grindr, and a girl who just wrote random shit

i worked in a professional theatre and they were so much nicer...like my tech bros were chill and we got good ass cheese

in conclusion, theatre majors suck. they’re cliquey, they’re stuck up, and they think they’re better than you. im staying away from theatre for a while. i might go and work in event planning and tech stuff, but idk

fuck. college. theatre. majors.

end rant