#yeah so this is just a quick little update to make myself feel less overwhelmed by one little story

[hargrove-mayfields]

Currently I am working on a fic about how Christmas of ‘85, her first in a long time without Billy there, goes for Max, but my progress is going kind of slow. The goal is to have it posted by the 31st, but we’ll see. 

To keep myself from getting discouraged, here are just a few more things you can expect to see from me that I’ve started and am trying to finish! (below the keep reading)

I have two five and ones going, one about Billy’s ex girlfriends and his lackluster dates versus how he treats Steve, the other is five like, sort of trials, I guess, that his conscience puts him through while he’s in a medically induced coma after Starcourt, and then what happens when he wakes up! (The second one is sort of A Christmas Carol-ish, in a way) 

A powers!Billy au where he was one of the kids from the MKUltra experiments, but Terry helps his mom to escape and she takes Billy away to Cali in hopes of giving him a normal childhood. Neil moves them back to Hawkins once Billy is almost an adult, and he has to remember everything about himself! His powers are the ability to make anybody do anything he wants by giving them commands (similar to Allison from The Umbrella Academy) and he is 006! 

There’s a really long and really sad fic I have going where Billy survives Starcourt, but never makes it out of the hospital and it follows Steve in his grief after he dies. 

Role Swap au where Steve is a rich boy getting sent to the rural Midwest to be taught a lesson about humble beginnings, and Billy is the presiding king of Hawkins. Steve tries to dethrone him repeatedly, but it never seems to work, and things get more and more tense until they finally have a confrontation!

Soulmates AU where you have a tattoo on your wrist of your soulmates initials in their handwriting. Steve thinks that Barbara Holland is his soulmate and tries to shoot his shot with her, but then after she dies his tattoo doesn’t fade and he gets a little desperate (and heartbroken, for Barb and for himself). Cue Billy Hargrove rolling into Hawkins and Steve getting obsessed, determined not to let this one slip through his fingers like Barb! (I know that technically Billy’s initials are probably W.H. but I think that since soulmates are magic anyways it can use his preferred name over William)

A pair of fics that go together which show Billy being in Steve’s room for the first time, and Steve being in Billy’s room for the first time. (I promise it’s completely innocent, the first one is pre-slash anyways.) 

A huge au where Billy is there to pick Max up instead of ditching her the day that Dart goes missin, so helps the kids look for him. This gets him dragged into the upside down stuff, because Dustin remembers that he helped look for Dart and makes him help him with the Demodogs at the junkyard. It’s basically just a rewrite of st2 if Billy had been involved, and it has a sequel that’s st3 but if Billy was in the Scoops Troop!

I have a multi-chapter that involves Steve’s hearing being severely damaged during the battle at Starcourt from all the fireworks going off and head trauma from the Russians, and he makes it a routine to go and visit Billy after his appointments with the hearing specialist are over. 

A second chance sort of thing where the mindflayer counted on being defeated and basically made a backup save, hence the clones in the upside down, and Billy’s death at the battle causes the week to reset to the day he gets possessed, meaning they have another chance to stop everything before it happens. What the mindflayer does not take into account was Billy and the others remembering what happened and trying even harder to beat it! Race against the clock, angst piled upon angst, what’s not to like!

I also have some smaller stories, some are only a few chapters while others are basically just one shots, like: 

A character study about baby Billy coming out to his mom

Steve has to babysit Holly on short notice and Billy helps

Some backstory behind the kissy mark on Billy’s sleeve

Billy’s pendant breaking and the meltdown that ensues

A short and not so sweet story about the consequences of Starcourt on Steve’s mental health (very depressing and triggering) 

A birthday party for Billy while he’s still in the hospital, where Steve makes the kids help him to make Billy’s cake!

Observations about little quirks/mannerisms they pick up from each other after they start dating

Heather and Billy are bffs, and she encourages him to make a move on Steve while they’re on break (features some bucklway)

Steve and Robin becoming friends sooner because he gets kicked out and asks if he can stay with her. They have a sleepover type thing where they play twenty questions and be goofy! 

Autistic Max who really wants a dog! (p.s, literally every time I write Max she’s going to be autistic, but most of the time I won’t mention it unless it’s relevant to the plot! This fic is very heavily focused on sensory issues+her feelings around her confusing friends and family, so it’s definitely pretty important to bring up for this one!) 

Oh and I also have about 50 other wips/concepts just sitting around in my docs, but a lot of those will probably never become fully fleshed out stories. 

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Nine // Wanda Maximoff

chapter eight | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter ten

author’s note: a bit late with the update today, my bad. I’m just very exhausted lol. Hope you like it though! bit beefy, just how i like it 😂

I should have realised Wanda would be a handful after literally grabbing my arse less than a metre away from her fiancé.

The final straw came when we were sat together at a table, talking to a guest who wanted to know more about the wedding plans. Y/B/N had left Wanda alone for the remainder of the evening for God knows what reason, so I was left to babysit her and make sure she didn't do anything stupid. Of course, drunk Wanda was also disobedient as well as truthful and clingy.

As the woman we were sat opposite was talking about her own wedding – the first of three, apparently – Wanda's hand kept playing with mine under the table. I shot her a serious look before slapping it away gently. That wasn't enough though, as several times after, she continued to play with my fingers and intertwine hers in mine.

Not wanting to draw attention, I pushed Wanda's hand under her thigh with hopes she'd keep it there and stop fussing. I didn't think she was even listening to the woman and the story of her wedding dress debacle, as she was leaning on the palm of her hand and watching with boredom.

At one point, just when I thought Wanda was finally behaving, I felt her hand rest on my thigh, creeping up dangerously higher. Clenching my jaw to contain both the arousal and frustration I was feeling, I flicked my foot against hers before stuffing her hand under her thigh again. Glancing at her, she was smiling innocently in my direction.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" the woman stopped mid-talk, looking to Wanda.

Wanda straightened up in her seat, flashing the woman a bright smile. "Yes. But if I may ask–"

"Oh, no..." I mumbled, already internally facepalming.

"–don't you think my almost sister-in-law is very pretty?"

My head snapped to hers as I attempted to disguise my panic with a nervous smile. The woman looked between us, waiting patiently for Wanda to continue.

"Good looks runs in the family it seems," Wanda said, stretching her hand out to caress my cheek, but I immediately caught it before she could, chuckling awkwardly.

The woman found Wanda's behaviour funny as she nodded in agreement. "The Y/L/Ns are a very good looking family indeed. Especially your fiancé, dear. What a handsome man he is."

Wanda hummed in agreement, but her eyes were only focused on me. Under any other circumstances, I would have appreciated how cute she was and been touched at her words, but now wasn't that time.

"My lovely almost sister-in-law is particularly drunk tonight I'm afraid," I spoke truthfully to the woman, offering an apologetic smile. "I should make sure she's okay."

"Of course," the woman said, nodding. "It was nice speaking to you both."

I smiled in response for both of us before leading Wanda away from the table and to an emptier-looking part of the room. Spinning around, I gave her a disapproving look.

"You can't say that," I said quietly, shaking my head. "Not here. Not now."

She licked her lips, wearing an enchanting smile, unbothered by our surroundings. "I can't help it. I'm so in love with you and you look irresistible tonight, milaya (darling)."

I sighed, my neck growing warm as she watched me with adoration. "Okay, I think it's time to call it a night."

"No, I want to stay," she whined, but I ignored her and turned around to think about how we could leave.

Once again, I felt her hand squeeze my butt and when I turned around to scold her, I saw my brother over her shoulder, approaching us. I forced a smile on my lips and glanced at her with a glare. She grinned in response before joining my side and facing my brother with me.

"Hey, how are you?" he asked when he stopped by us.

"Good," I answered for us both, afraid Wanda would say something suspicious.

He nodded, smiling a little. "Thanks for keeping Wanda company tonight."

Using that as my opportunity, I said, "Yeah, about that. She's kind of drunk, so I think I'm going to take her home."

"Oh," he said with realisation. "I don't mind taking it from here."

I pursed my lips, desperately trying to think of a reason to stay with her. Thankfully, I didn't have to.

"How scandalous of you to want to me somewhere after hours with nobody else around," Wanda poked fun, attempting to make him feel uncomfortable. It worked.

"Oh, no– I didn't mean it like that," he said quickly, flushing at her insinuation. "Never mind." Looking to me, he added, "You should take her home and make sure she's okay. Maybe stay with her until her family gets home so you don't have to head home yourself."

I nodded, ignoring the proud smile on Wanda's lips. "Okay, see you later."

As I led Wanda outside the house and towards the carriages parked outside, I gave her a grateful look.

"Good thinking back there."

She chuckled. "He's so easy to manipulate."

"Not nice," I said, but couldn't stop the amused smile from playing on my lips.

The two of us got in the back of the carriage after I gave the driver her address and settled in. Wanda was quick to tilt my head towards her and connect our lips, but I pulled back quickly, making her frown.

"You've been very frustrating this evening," I said with a warning tone. "We get home and you get to bed. That's it."

"Well, that hardly seems fair," she said with a shake of her head. "I believe I behaved."

I tried not to laugh. "In what world, love?"

She smiled widely, eyes darting to my lips. "Some alternate universe."

"Smooth," I played along, before facing forward. "Sober up, dear. The ride isn't long."

When we reached her house, it was a struggle getting her to her bedroom, but it was an even bigger struggle getting her dressed. I managed to get her dress off, but she kept trying to kiss me as I tried to put her nightgown on. Between fits of laughter, she pushed my hands away and made me step back.

Hands on my hips, I stared down at her with a ghost of a smile on my lips. "Are you done? You can't just sleep in your bra and knickers."

She laughed, sat on the edge of her bed and looking up at me with tired eyes. "One kiss and I'll let you dress me."

"Definitely no." I shook my head. "We both know what happens after one kiss."

"When will there ever be an opportunity where we're alone together in my home?" she tried to make a point, but her accent was especially heavy, entwined with her drunkenness and making it harder to believe her logic.

I rested my hands on her shoulders and leaned my forehead on hers, staring into her eyes with amusement. "My beautiful love, you are drunk. We will not have sex when you're drunk."

Her hands tugged me closer by the waist as she smiled up at me. "But I know what I want. And I'm certain it's you."

"Not now," I repeated, removing her hands from my waist.

She pouted and I chuckled before kissing it away. Her tantrum seemed to tire her out as I was able to get her dressed after that, managing to tuck her under the covers.

"Stay with me," she mumbled, fingers clawing the air as a gesture for me to join her.

Nobody would be back for a while, I realised, and nobody was home.

"Fine," I gave in quickly, before kicking off my shoes and jumping into the bed beside her.

She grinned, snuggling into my side and breathing out contently. "Ya tak sil'no tebya lyublyu (I love you so much)."

I kissed the top of her head, holding her close and hoping she couldn't hear the rate of my heartbeat pick up. "I love you, too, Wanda."

We stayed like that, in each other's arms, until I sadly had to get up and leave her. She was asleep by the time her family returned, her face relaxed and without the constraints of reality. I smiled to myself, feeling overwhelmed with how much I was in love with her. I was lucky to have met her, I knew that much, but I was also unlucky to have met her under our circumstances.

As usual, I couldn't help but wonder what could have happened if we weren't in the wrong lifetime...

I kissed her once more, whispering an 'I love you' to her, before leaving the room and wondering if one day I might be able to stay under the covers with her, cuddling until I fell asleep, too.

—

"It won't take long, I just need to give him this," Wanda said nonchalantly, referring to the notebooks in her hand. "Then we can grab lunch."

I nodded and the two of us walked down the street until we located the Maximoff Publishing House. I'd been here a few times when visiting my brother and it always gave me a fuzzy warm feeling, my brain formulating daydreams where I could be published, too. But that's all they were – daydreams.

Wanda held the door open for me as I walked in and I gave her an appreciative smile before she followed after. She led the way to her brother's office at the back of the building and we passed several desks – editors, authors and other employees alike – before reaching it. Through the window, Wanda and I could see Pietro sat behind his desk, pen working away at some papers.

"Piet," Wanda called, knocking on the door.

He looked up and grinned, instantly motioning for us to come inside. I followed after Wanda and closed the door behind us before stopping in front of his desk.

"Y/N, I'm so glad you came!" he exclaimed, standing up and stretching out his hands ecstatically. "I didn't think you would if I'm being honest."

I tilted my head, bemused. "Er... pardon?"

"Piet, she doesn't–" Wanda started, making me look to her. She cut herself off with a sigh, massaging the bridge of her nose and shaking her head. "Oh, God."

"I'm not sure what's happening here," I said with an awkward chuckle, before taking the notebooks from Wanda's hand and dropping them on Pietro's desk, "but these are for you. Wanda said you left them at home."

He chuckled, pushing the notebooks to the side, before reaching into his top drawer and throwing some pages before me. "These are genius, Y/N."

My brows creased together with confusion as I lifted the pages, looking through them to see what had got him all happy. As my eyes skimmed the writing, my heart dropped. This was my writing.

"H-how did you get this?" I stammered, looking up at him.

His eyes flickered to Wanda and I immediately put the pieces together, my gaze falling to her. She smiled bashfully before avoiding my eyes. She'd given him my work without telling me? And she'd tricked me into coming here for this?

"I want to sign you," he stated, clasping his hands together. "Your work is amazing, arguably better than you brother's. You really undersold! And the fact that these are just excerpts means your actual completed work is even better. And I want it here at Maximoff Publishing."

My palms were sweaty as I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn't know what. He wanted to sign me? Like, properly sign me?

"Y/N?" Wanda prompted, making me look her way. She watched with encouraging eyes, nodding to her brother.

I swallowed hard and looked to Pietro. "I'll have to think about it."

My family's reaction would not be kind, I knew that now. All my life I'd been hearing about how it was unladylike and unattractive for a woman to be a writer, how I should just leave the writing to Y/B/N. He was the writer and I needed to get over it because nobody would want to publish me. Yet, here we were.

"Y/N, what are you saying?" Wanda asked, resting a hand on my forearm to get my attention. "You've talked about being published for ages."

I was beginning to regret mentioning that silly fantasy to Wanda. If I'd known she was going to give my work to her brother, I never would have said anything.

"It's fine, Wan, she just needs time to mull it over," Pietro said dismissively, before smiling at me. "I do hope you'll decide soon though."

I forced a small smile his way before turning to leave. When I reached the empty hallway, Wanda was quick to run after me, tugging me backwards so I would face her.

"Why did you do that?" I asked instantly, frowning, feeling betrayed. "What made you think I wanted this?"

Her fingers touched mine gently as she looked between my eyes. "You've told me you wanted this. I know you want this."

I shook my head, letting go of her hand and stepping back. "I can't believe you took my work and gave it to him without asking. You shouldn't have done this, Wanda. You're making waves and–"

"You deserve this," she proclaimed sternly, silencing me. Her eyes were fiery as she stared hard. "You deserve to get the credit, too. Not just your brother. It's about damn time, Y/N."

My lips pressed together firmly as I held her stare, though she was winning as she told me everything I'd wanted to hear. Just once, somebody believed in me, but I was so used to hearing otherwise that it felt foreign.

"Pietro wants to help," she said, expression softening. "He recognises talent and you have it. Maybe I should have asked before giving him your work, maybe I shouldn't have. But I know that it was the only way to push you. You're so content accepting what other people want that you don't chase what you deserve."

Her passion and belief for my work warmed my heart to the core and I was certain that I'd never been more in love with her than I was now. She didn't have to care, but she did. For once, somebody did.

"Nobody will like this," I muttered, half-convinced but still worried about the drawbacks. "It could destroy your brother's career. It could backfire."

Wanda shook her head, stepping forward and resting a hand on my neck, thumb stroking the skin comfortingly. "He wouldn't take the risk if he didn't believe in you."

I placed my hand over hers, taking it between mine as I squeezed it gently, gratefully. I didn't know what else to say, since she'd countered all of my arguments. Everything apart from my family's reaction, which she couldn't control.

"I did this for you," she murmured, before wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me in for a hug. "For you to finally get what you deserve. So that you can make your own money and nobody can take it from you."

She paused as I returned her hug, though I was pondering her words, not knowing she felt that way. It sounded like she'd given this some thought. More than she was letting on.

"Especially if you get married," she added after consideration, and I pulled away, ready to say otherwise, but she closed her eyes and shook her head. "No, I know you don't like talking about it, but it needs to be said." She opened her eyes and I realised they were glassy with unshed tears. "I need you to be okay when it happens. I don't–" She sucked up a breath, smiling to relieve the tension, though it was full of pain. "I don't want some man owning you."

"Any money I make will belong to him anyway," I said, knowing she knew the world we lived in.

A downhearted chuckle escaped her lips. "You wouldn't allow that, Y/N, we both know that."

She wasn't wrong. But the thought of even being married to somebody that wasn't her made my heart crumble in my chest.

"Just think about it, okay?" she asked pleadingly. "Promise me you'll think about it? Properly?"

I nodded, reassuring her with a sad smile. "I will. I promise." She sighed with relief, tense shoulders relaxing. I continued quietly, "Thank you, Wanda. For all of this. For everything."

She nodded, before laughing to distract from the tear that slipped from her eye. I felt bad, but there was nothing I could do. She was so concerned about my future without her and it pained me to see. We never talked about it – an unspoken agreement – because it was too difficult to accept.

"Come on," she said, changing the subject. "Let's go get that lunch we came here for."

—

I hadn't made up my mind about the publishing deal, but I was starting to veer towards a 'yes'.

A few days passed since Pietro made the offer and I hadn't told anybody of it. Only Wanda knew and she hadn't brought it up since, clearly not wanting to pressure me into a decision which I appreciated. It made me realise that I really wanted this for myself. I deserved this for myself, even if I'd been taught otherwise.

It was those few days later when the Maximoffs came over for dinner and it was the first time I'd seen Pietro since he made me the offer. When he greeted me at the door, he smiled brightly.

"I assume you haven't made a decision," he noted.

"You assumed correctly," I said with amusement, though I could tell he really wanted to know.

"Very well," he said with a shrug. "I guess I'll just have to change your mind."

I quirked a brow, wondering what he meant by that, but he simply walked past me and into the living room. Wanda smiled at me next, squeezing my hand and greeting me with a hug.

"You okay?" she asked lowly, a hint of concern in her eyes.

"I'm good," I promised. "Are you?"

"Yes," she said with a small smile. Just like her brother, I could tell she wanted to know what I was thinking.

After our two families conversed in the living room for a while, dinner was served by our servants and we all took to the table to continue our chatter.

"So, Pietro," my father started, looking across the table to him. "How is business going at the publishing house?"

I should have known what he would do when he glanced at me with mischievous eyes.

"It's going great," he answered my father respectfully. "We've actually sought out a new author to add to the list of names we represent."

My eyes widened when I realised what he was doing.

"Oh, really?" my dad asked with surprise. "Who is he?"

Pietro looked in my direction and I forgot how to breathe. "It's actually your daughter, sir."

All eyes fell to me as I locked my gaze on the cutlery beside my plate.

"Y/N? You want to sign Y/N?" asked my dad for clarification.

"I do," he said with a grin, and my face was heating up the longer this conversation went on. "Wanda saw her work and thought I'd be interested. I am. I think she'd make a great fit at our publishing house. And if she has a manuscript to show us, then I'd love to publish it."

"You did this?" Y/B/N asked Wanda with raised brows, jealousy intertwined in his voice.

"Yes, I did," she answered, unaffected by his irritation. "She's really talented."

I risked glancing up, smiling at Wanda appreciatively. She nodded in response, the corner of her mouth lifting adorably, making my heart flutter.

"She really is," Pietro agreed, before looking to my dad who still seemed taken aback. "She probably got that from you. Writing seems to run in the family."

My dad looked at me across the table, his eyes softening. All of our conversations flashed to mind where he claimed he was discouraging me for my own benefit. But now, everything he'd thought wouldn't happen was. Would he still be against the idea?

"D'you really think she'd sell?" he finally spoke, looking to Pietro, and I couldn't contain the smile from my lips.

"Yeah, don't women struggle with their first book?" my brother asked, and when I examined his expression, I saw the distaste.

"I actually think she'd do really well...," Pietro began to explain, before going into a long rant about numbers and sales and past examples.

As he spoke, my brother got progressively more frustrated and I frowned, wondering why he couldn't be supportive like our parents were being. Did he want to be the only author in our family that bad? Or was he just afraid that I wouldn't help him with his own books anymore?

"Thank you for explaining all of that," my dad said once he was done. He smiled, impressed, looking to me. "I actually love the idea."

I felt lightweight when he said that. Things were actually starting to look up for me. My dad was actually supporting my passion and it was all I'd wanted to hear since I was a kid. Trying to hide my elation behind a smile, I took a sip of water. 

"Maybe Pietro is just trying to sweeten Y/N up so he can propose," Y/B/N suddenly said, making me choke on my water.

Looking to him with disbelief, he had a friendly smile on his lips, but I saw right through it.

"Y/B/N," Wanda scolded beside him. "Don't joke about that."

"Yeah, I can assure you that's not the case," Pietro added with a chuckle, unfazed by my brother's bitterness.

"I know that," I said reassuringly, before glaring at my brother. "You don't need to dignify him with a response, Pietro."

Changing the subject, my mother spoke up with a laugh. "Well, I think this is delightful. Y/N has always loved to write and I used to think it wasn't an appropriate future for a young woman, but if you are saying it could be, then I'm fully supportive of the idea."

I smiled at her, unable to believe she'd actually said that. She was the last person I thought would approve.

"Pietro has a good eye with these things," Oleg pointed out. "If he thinks it'll be successful, it will be."

My parents began to talk about how writing was something I'd loved for a long time, but I wasn't really listening because I felt overwhelmed with happiness. Pietro caught my eye, winking playfully, and I hoped he knew how grateful I was at what he'd done. Under the table, Wanda's fingers laced through mine and I didn't let go. Giving her a sideways glance, I thanked her with my eyes. She smiled widely and I tried very hard not to kiss her.

"...it's not the conventional route, but Y/N deserves it," my dad said, and I perked up with realisation.

"Maybe Wanda could break the conventional, too," I said, wanting to repay the brunette beside me.

"What do you mean?" she asked with furrowed brows.

I gave her a smile of disbelief. "Wanda, your art. It's stunning. Everything you create could easily sell for hundreds of pounds."

Her lips parted with surprise as she struggled to find words.

"That's not a bad idea, you know," Iryna said with thought. "Especially if Y/N's signing goes to plan."

Oleg groaned playfully, looking to my father. "This is happening so quickly... our girls are growing up, Y/D/N."

My dad chuckled alongside him as I stroked the top of Wanda's hand with my thumb. She squeezed it gently and I smiled to myself.

"You'll make tons of money," I said with certainty. "Your work is incredible, Wanda."

"I'll make enough money to support the both of us," Y/B/N said, doing a terrible job at hiding his frustration.

I looked over Wanda and to him with a hard stare and fake smile. "It's not even about the money to be honest. Maybe it's just about Wanda doing something she loves."

He nodded in agreement, though his eyes glared daggers at me. "I agree. And I won't stop her. But there's no need to sell her work. She can still practice her craft as usual. Heck, I'll even get her a studio."

I quirked a brow challengingly. "And what if she wants to sell it?"

Y/B/N clenched his jaw behind a forced smile. I ignored the warning look Wanda gave me in my peripheral and didn't dare look away from my brother's gaze. This was a side to him that I definitely didn't like.

My mum suddenly laughed to clear the air, but it was nervous and concerned. "Ah, sibling rivalry. Such playful nonsense."

"I believe the dessert is coming out now," my dad added, stealing the Maximoffs' attention away from my brother and I. "We're having soufflé."

With a final glare to my brother, I returned to eating. Any chatter of Wanda and I's potential careers ceased and my parents attempted to make the rest of the meal worthwhile.

As much as I wanted to be excited at the possibility of accepting Pietro's deal, especially since I had my parents' support, I couldn't help but think about what just happened with my brother. What was his problem?

When the meal ended, we all had some tea in the living room before bringing the evening to a close. At the door, we said our goodbyes to the Maximoffs and I was sure to thank Pietro.

"You didn't have to do that back there," I said as we shook hands, "but thank you. I think I know my answer now."

"Anything for my sister's best friend," he said with his signature charming smile. "And I hope it's what I think it is. Though, I suppose you won't tell me now."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "Not now."

"Soon, I hope." He nodded conclusively. "Have a good evening, Y/N."

Wanda shoved him out the way before I could respond before pulling me in for a hug. Pietro didn't seem offended as he gave me a knowing look over her shoulder. I stared back inquisitively, but got distracted when Wanda broke the hug, finding my eyes.

"You okay after what happened?" she asked gently, eyes subtly gesturing to my brother who was bidding her parents a goodbye.

"I'm okay," I reassured her with a smile. "Thanks for tonight."

She returned my smile. "Thank you. I think my parents actually took me seriously for a change."

"It's the least I could do," I told her, fully aware of everything she'd done for me.

Her smile widened, eyes flickering to my lips conspicuously. I shoved her gently, knowing what she was thinking and reminding her that we were in front of both of our families right now. She rolled her eyes playfully before stepping back.

"Such a handful," I mumbled jokingly.

When they left, the first thing Y/B/N did was storm off to his study. My parents exchanged glances before looking to me.

"Be nice," my mum warned.

"We'll see," I muttered under my breath, looking in the direction he'd gone.

Oh, was he about to get a piece of my mind.

[suganovakawa]

two anons asked for more introverted and shy! reader .

Omg the headcanon w suga was so good TT I wanted to ask if you could do the same one with kags;-; 💞 like the introverted shy one

Oh my goooddddd the Suga one was so cuteeeee! Can I request the same one w kuroo? ;-; if not it’s totally fine!

and you know what ? i love this headcanon so much so i’m gonna do more of this . i hope you don’t mind i put both in one , it’s easier to post !

𝐒𝐇𝐘 , 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 !

karasuno and nekoma boys protect you because of your shyness !

— check out my masterlist !!

you being a shy introvert has never affected these boys’ feelings for you . if anything , they feel more obligated to keep you safe and protected ! these guys will do everything to make sure you’re supported and loved .

a / n : ehehehehe as a somewhat shy person myself i needed this

holy moly this came out so much longer than i originally planned , especially tobio’s — enjoy 😭

anyways ! if you want to be part of my general taglist - just ask ! and be specific if you want to be updated for certain things ( just headcanons , just scenarios , etc ) 🥺

tobio kageyama

both of you are extremely shy but somehow you make your relationship work perfectly

well , tobio isn't shy , per se - he's just extremely awkward

shoyo was literally the one who had to do most of the communication between you and him before you two became a thing

kags became brave enough to ask you out himself after countless weeks of psyching himself up for it

he was beyond thankful when you said yes , his confidence was boosted now that he conquered his fear of confessing to you

kageyama is very understanding of your shyness - he won't ever make you do anything you're uncomfortable with , and will always make sure you feel safe when you two are out together

as more of an introvert himself , he prefers to spend time with you in private , so it's a win-win situation for the two of you in that case

you love to cuddle with tobio when it's just you two - he's become accustomed to you just climbing on top of him whenever and just making yourself at home

hinata was the one who encouraged you to meet the rest of the volleyball team - kags hit him on the head when he mentioned it

" BOKE ! THEY'RE SHY ! BE CONSIDERATE OF THEIR FEELINGS ! "

" no , it's okay tobio !! i'd love to meet your team ! "

he said o-o ??

" really , y/n ? you'll come to practice to meet everyone ? "

" y-yeah ! i'm sure it's not too bad . and maybe i could watch you practice too , if that's allowed ? "

" OMG KAGEYAMA PLEASE LET Y/N WATCH US PRACTICE IT WOULD BE SO COOL TO HAVE THEM THERE WE SHOULD TOTALLY - "

" SHUT UP DUMBASS IT'S THEIR CHOICE IF THEY WANNA WATCH "

yes you wanted to watch , but working your way up to meet them was a terrifying experience

what if they didn't like you ?

you mentioned your fear to tobio after school , who shook his head with a smile

" they're going to love you , y/n . you'd be surprised with how accepting they are . hinata and i told you about our first day , right ? "

" yes , yes you did "

WOAH A BUZZ CUT GUY OPENED THE DOOR

you jumped behind kageyama as the bald guy started yelling at him about who knows what , you were too spooked to listen

shoyo was already at the gym , and noticed you hiding behind your boyfriend

" guys , guys ! that's kageyama's s.o. ! the one hiding behind him ! "

did hinata forget you're shy or something like wtf dude

you peeked out from behind kags , going pale as a whole sea of tall men stared right back at you

" everyone , this is y/n . y/n , this is my volleyball team . " taking you by the hand , tobio kept you close to him as he pulled you to his side

everyone collectively said hi , quietly to not overwhelm you

" damn kageyama , already cuffed as a first year , huh ? " this short dude with a blond tuft in front of his forehead patted him on the shoulder , and you watched as tobio struggled to reply , his cheeks going pink in embarrassment

you stayed away from the third years , as they had this powerful presence around them that intimidated you - especially that guy in the man bun , he's terrifying

you kept your distance from tsukishima , too - he's tall , sassy , and very scary

thankfully kiyoko was soft spoken enough to make you feel comfortable with being left with her - WTF WHO IS THAT INCOMING GROWN MAN HIDE

wait it's just the coach - NEVERMIND FALSE ALARM

you had never seen kageyama play volleyball until now - you heard about his middle school reputation , but he felt self conscious about it . so , you hardly ever brought it up in conversation

watching him in action was like falling for him all over again

the way he handled the ball so easily ; he could probably set in his sleep if he wanted to

and that quick attack - like damn , shoyo and tobio really are the dream team

after practice , WOOO BOY you were all over your him

practically gawking over everything you saw during practice - like DAMN , that setter is your boyfriend

you begged him to let you watch karasuno practice again , you'd end up warming up to the others eventually - you had him and hinata for support

he felt shy with how excited you were to watch him practice , but agreed to let you come to practice with him from now on

" tobio , you're so cool !! i wanna learn how to do the amazing things you do "

" cutie . i'd love to teach you sometime , y/n .

tetsurou kuroo

needless to say , tetsurou is anything but shy

how you managed to snag a catch like kuroo is beyond you

he likes - no , loves - your soft atmosphere , the peace that your presence brings him

he was literally a magnet to you in his quest of wooing you

the moment you even appeared in the same room for a second he’d end up right there with you

even if he was clingy in a sense , he respected your shyness and your boundaries , and would step away if he felt like you were uncomfortable with him

yes we stan gentleman kuroo anyway

eventually his charismatic tendencies and alluring charms got to you and you began to enjoy his company more and more

yes , you agreed to becoming his s.o. , only if he understood that you would be sometimes too shy to go out places with him

he didn’t care , he didn’t care if all you two did was stay at home — this boy was over the moon that you were now officially his

the first thing he did was brag to his team lmao

did i mention that nekoma was betting on him being able to get you ?

kenma and lev owed yamamoto yen for being kuroo’s only supporter BFHSJNFNF

yaku took it a step further and told tetsu to bring you here — to which he internally panicked

he wasn’t planning on introducing you to the others so early , you two were still trying to get in the groove of being in a relationship

but after being pestered by literally everyone else on the team , he finally gave in and agreed to ask you the next time he saw you

he sugar coated it to the max when he saw you the next day

“ y/n , my absolute darling , i know you said you’re a shy little cutie and all , but — ”

“ tetsu , please just tell me what you need from me . ”

LMAOOOO you can read the third year like a book ; he shut up immediately when you shot an eyebrow upwards

“ i wasn’t planning to introduce you this early but , the guys from my volleyball team want to meet you . today , after school , preferably . ”

y/n.exe has stopped working

“ baby , baby ! you don’t have to , i swear ! i’m not gonna push you to do anything you don’t want , they just want to meet you in person once , is all . you never have to go again if you decide to go only one time , i promise . ”

hhhhhhhhh why is tetsurou like this

“ fine , i’ll go today . i have nothing to do after school anyway . but after that , no more . i can only take so much , you know that . ”

he punched his fists in the air before snatching a kiss to your temple

“ thank you , baby ! you won’t regret meeting them , i promise . ”

it took a lot of psyching yourself up to actually go through with this

but kuroo looked so happy when you agreed , you didn’t wanna let him down :(

so you two met up after school — he was already with kenma

you already met kenma in the past , so seeing him didn’t bother you ; he was an introvert too so he understood how you felt

“ hi , y/n . i’m surprised you can keep up with kuroo the way you do . ”

“ it’s strenuous sometimes , but worth it . ”

aww look at you two bonding — even if it was at kuroo’s expense , he looked like he was about to explode in tears of joy

that moment of peace left the moment the gym doors bashed open — WHO THE FGIDKFK WAS STANDING AT THE DOOR

BIG SCARY DUDE WITH WHITE HAIR

“ KENMA KENMA KENMA KENMA CAN YOU PLEAAAAAAASE SET ME SOME BALLS ”

“ not now , lev . ”

oh my god he saw you

no turning back now

the so-called lev widened his eyes , his jaw dropped for a few seconds before running back into the gym

“ GUYS , GUYS ! HE DID IT ! HE BROUGHT Y/N ! ITS HAPPENING ! ”

kuroo appeared like a deer in headlights as you looked at him dumbfoundedly

“ tetsurou . what , and i mean what , is going on ? ”

you watched as someone much much smaller than him — you recognized yaku , he was your classmate — literally kick lev across the back , causing him to fall over

“ they’re a rowdy bunch , y/n . but they won’t lay a hand on you , i assure you . they’ve got much more bark than bite . if they even do have a bite . ”

kenma answered you before kuroo could ; he was blubbering away with incoherent excuses answers you couldn’t even understand

a dude with a mohawk came up to inspect you , and you screamed

tetsurou slapped him away , before wrapping his arms around you protectively

“ don’t go near y/n ! they’re very shy , so please be careful ! ”

this is so embarrassing you might just die

kenma and yaku made sure everyone else yamamoto and lev gave you personal space

once they were all settled down , you actually thought they were a nice bunch — it also helped to know that lev was a first year , it made him appear much less scary

kuroo insisted that you stay for practice , and after some pestering from him and the rest of the team , you agreed

watching them practice was not what you expected

where was tetsurou kuroo and what did they do to him

you didn’t even recognize your boyfriend as he took his rightful role as captain on the court , helping the others and giving pointers wherever needed

the others fell in place , too — watching everyone practice was totally different to how they acted before

you were actually mesmerized , watching them — you didn’t even realize practice was over until kuroo walked over to you and told you that it was over

“ i-it’s over already ? ”

“ yeah , baby . it’s done . did you enjoy it ? ”

“ yeah . . . yeah , i did . i enjoyed it a lot , actually ! ”

“ well , if you’re up for it , the manager spot is very much open . but you don’t have to take it , i know you said this would be the only time you’d come with me . ”

oh no no no you were not gonna miss a chance to be mesmerized like that again

“ y’know what , tetsu ? i want to be the manager . sign me up . ”

cue a screaming yamamoto and long legs lev jumping for joy as tetsurou grinned like crazy at your response

[keepingthehopealive]

Therapy update from Tuesday.

I started with my usual hesitance and avoidance to talk. When she asked how the week was, I grumbled and made an unintelligible sound and she laughed, saying "clear". This led to a quick conversation about how I used to shut down in therapy (with K, and P) and L commented I shut down every session, which I didn't agree with. It definitely has me thinking about what she defines shutting down as and how she thinks I shut down in session. I said that I know I shut down certain topics but that I don't shut down because I talk. She joked back "yeah you talk..you say 'no' or some variation of 'no'"...which she's not wrong. She said she was happy I thought I didn't shut down though. When I told her very very briefly about how shutting down used to present for me in therapy, she immediately commented how hard and painful it must have been for me which was so validating and nice. I also joked that if/when we meet in person she's gonna me a whole different person, about how I like to hide and sit as far away as possible. She doesn't seem to mind that I am not an easy client, and even though I know I'm not, she never makes me feel like I'm difficult. She's good about bringing humor into it which helps when I'm struggling, helps it feel a little less hard and helps to get me to not deflect and avoid as much.

We briefly talked about work and my new job, but I mostly tried to deflect the subject because I'm anxious about it. I did tell her I'm super anxious about being able to see her each week with my new crazy schedule and she said we would figure it out and make it work. I really had the urge to make her promise but I stopped myself from doing so. I said I didn't trust it, which again she just said we would figure it out and validated the anxiety. She said she needs to see E (my dog) each week.

She wanted to talk about *topic* again and asked about a certain question she posed last week and if I had thought about it. I brought up how it came up in a roundabout way with my mom and how it was overwhelming to have talked about it with her last week then to deal with my mom bringing it up too. I said there was no productive thought about it, just a lot of shame and spiraling. We processed it a bit more and I told her a couple of the anxious spirals I get into which she was helpful with trying to reframe them, but also genuinely answered my questions too. She said she knows this conversation is going to be an ongoing conversation spanning over lots of sessions which was also validating and reassuring but also ugh because she's going to keep bringing it up.

[jamestrmtx]

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Six | Dogbass (Part 1 of 2)

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

Updates might be delayed/advanced occasionally due to the holidays from here on, meaning the usual schedule should go back to normal by mid January!

• • •

"Here ya go."

"Thank you."

The consistent tremble of your hand complicates your ability to so much as open the can he's handed out to you. Regardless, you stay quiet and struggle with each attempt you make in opening it, though he offers to do that for you not long after your third try. You hand it over and take it back after it's open and after you've managed to calm yourself a little more through deep and silent breaths.

"We really shouldn't go today with the state you're in," Sans says, sitting next to you on the bench, although leaving enough space for a third person to sit right between you. Whether he's trying to keep distance due to your condition or the fact that you're still just acquaintances -- or both -- is unknown to you, but you're grateful for it. The space helps with your dizziness and the persistent feeling of having every little thing overwhelm you, from the heat of the sun to the loudness of the park and its crowds. "The tour's mostly walkin' for hours, so it's not the best idea if you're all dizzy and stuff." His irises fall on your drink as soon as you finish drinking it. "Need another one? There's also ice cream and donuts if you're up for it." 

"I'm fine." You smile and stand up to go throw the can away. Walking still feels like balancing yourself on an ever-thinning thread, but you have a little more coordination now, sufficient for you not to appear drunk, nor for you to cling onto a complete stranger like you had just a few moments ago when getting down from the bus. It's pathetic to think you had to use the monster for support while going down a few steps, when Frisk managed to travel all over the Underground all on their own and without your guidance. Still, you set those thoughts aside with the reminder that you're still weak and that your health's taken a toll large enough to last for a few more weeks before your full recovery. 

You sit back down with Sans and observe the dogs running around the park, some in groups with others of their kind, some playing fetch and tug-of-war with their owners, and some asking for belly rubs from strangers.

"About the envelope…" you say, trailing off mid-sentence.

"What about it?" Sans asks, looking at you again.

Reluctance causes a noticeable delay in what you want to say and an increase in the intensity of your symptoms, these dulled temporarily by the juice's high fructose and vitamin content. "What's… What's the money for, if it's not for fixing my phone?"

"For your health." His face nearly softens up as he says that, though it goes back to its usual, stoic self when he adds, "You must've taken a few days off just to deal with Frisk's situation, and you've hadda use your own sick days, too, so we all pitched in to help you with that."

"We?" You quirk a brow and frown as you think back on the envelope and all the notes you'd read. None of them hinted at the money being from any other person besides him, and it was the only item inside the envelope that didn't have an individual note attached to it. "Wasn't it all from you?"

The flicker of his irises already gives you the answer, surprise revealing itself with how his gaze widens. "Wasn't there a note stuck to it? It's supposed to be from Tori, Paps, and me."

Though knowing it's much more likely they all pitched in with one hundred each rather than it all being from him alone, you have no memory of any other notes, and even less one related to the money. Curiosity strikes, but you try not to jump to conclusions yet. "There wasn't any. Maybe... Maybe it got mixed up with the other notes?"

"The money was in a different envelope though. Did Paps give you just one letter only?"

"Yeah, but it had the notebook, permit, tickets, and all that."

"Then he must've done somethin' with it."

You both stay quiet as you contemplate the situation. 

So, long story short, his brother had taken both envelopes and smushed them into one. It makes sense thinking back on how the letter looked like it was about to burst, but the reason for him to do that and the missing note are two whole other anomalies you've left to find any answers for. It's possible the note could've simply fallen off while Papyrus passed all the items into one letter, but why would he even do that in the first place?

Those questions make rounds about your mind, until you remember the conversation you had with him on the train. Sans seems to realize something, too, and you both act in coordination to your epiphanies by looking away from each other in a subtle manner and scooting back to your side of the bench until reaching the edge, leaving even more space between you. The likelihood of his brother attempting to set you up is apparent, but neither of you acknowledge it to each other. If that hadn't been an innocent and honest mistake, then Papyrus really was trying to push his brother into dating by making him appear a lot more well-off and giving than he seemed. 

"Uh, I-

"Maybe-"

Whatever forced and awkward conversation you're both about to initiate is interrupted by a large Samoyed, big, fluffy, and full of energy. He throws himself on the bench space left between you and leaves his stomach out in display, likely waiting for attention like all the other dogs running after unsuspecting strangers without any pets of their own. His tail wags faster than lightning, and he barks until you give him what he requests, even more when the monster next to you gives him head scratches to go with your belly rubs. The dog's face is pure bliss throughout, and the tense atmosphere fades the longer you pet him.

When you both stop, the dogs stays in that position for a while, body left limp from all the pets. The tense atmosphere returns in an instant, and even more so when you both attempt to boop his snout. That only results in you brushing your hand with the monster's while the dog left underneath licks at both of them, once more helping end the awkwardness of the situation.

"Should we go back now?" you ask, finally capable of pushing through the tension. The ice breaks further as Sans nods, and you both stand up, leaving the dog at the bench, owner left unknown. It's strange to think you're so close yet so far away from the Underground. If it weren't for the state of your physical health, you would've only needed to walk a few more steps, past the dog park and through the gates. 

A high-pitched woof from behind makes you turn around and expect a Chihuahua to come running at you full speed, though it turns out to be the same dog from before. He's back to his energetic state, complete with his tail wagging faster than before and his tongue now stuck out. He follows even as you walk backwards and stares with a tilted head and confused expression when you stop moving. Sans notices you've fallen behind by the time he's a few feet away and turns back around to assess the situation, first with confusion and then with a chuckle. 

"Think this one's a stray?" Sans asks. He then approaches the dog and gets down on one knee to pat him on the head, gaining a few satisfied barks from him. His irises focus on the dog's neck when he adds, "There's no collar on him." He looks up at you next. "Maybe we could do somethin' about it next time we come back 'ere?" 

"Sure," you reply, smiling. "Looks like he's already interested in us, anyway."

"That, or he just wants more pets." The skeleton stands up and signals for the dog to keep himself firm in place, complementing his actions by talking to him directly. "Stay." He takes a few steps back to test the dog, who responds by taking a few forward, following the monster now. "Stay," he repeats, to no avail. "(Y/N) needs to go back home and rest." Sans points with his irises towards you when he says your name, breaking formalities to communicate with the dog. "Alright?"

As if leaving the job of dog whisperer unnamed in the information he'd given you, Sans's words seem to have an immediate effect on the Samoyed, who gives one sharp bark once and nods. He then turns around and walks off, leaving you be. Even the monster looks caught off guard by the results, though he laughs it off while you smile. Your gaze and his own draw themselves to the dog continuing to make his way back to the park, until he reaches the bench you'd both sat on. "Didn't think that'd work."

He slips his hands in his pockets and resumes the walk with you towards the bus stop, mood thankfully much lighter between you even as you both reach your destination and wait with no other people around besides him nearby. His irises narrow as he looks up at you, focusing on your face. "You allergic to dogs?" he asks, grinning. "Your face's all puffy."

Checking yourself through your phone's camera is more than necessary to know what he means by that, and when you do, you bite down on your lip to keep yourself from bursting out a laugh. "...Y- Yeah," you mutter, words followed by a sheepish smile. "I forgot."

"You forgot you're allergic to dogs?"

"They're too cute for me to worry about that." Your defense is quick and unfaltering as you grin down at him. "And it's only a mild allergy anyway. It's cats I'm more allergic to, but even then I can't help myself when it comes to being around animals -- specially big and fluffy ones!"

"Can't argue with that," he says, chuckling. "You bring a compelling statement." He looks towards the bus when it arrives and continues with, "Wanna stop by a pharmacy before we go?"

"It's alright," you reply, shaking your head. "I think I have some medicine with me."

"In that satchel you're always carryin' around?"

"It's in case anything happens while I'm out with Frisk."

"Even when they're not around?"

"Yes. What if someone else needs it?"

He grins and walks with you to the bus. "You really are a first-time (mom/dad), huh?" 

You settle down with him on the seats nearest to the door and place your bag over your lap to prevent occupying another seat. "...What makes you think that?"

"Tori and I go way back. Though we only saw each other in person just recently, we got to know each other long before that, and she told me all about how it was like, both with her biological son and her adoptive kid. She was just like you when she took care of the first fallen human. And even though she'd already had a son before that, she went back to first-time mom mode with the one she adopted, since she didn't really know how humans worked back then."

Though you're curious to know how they knew each other without seeing each other's faces, you imagine something similar to online friendships and pass it off as that for now. It'd be far too much to ask for any details on that, based on how wistful and melancholic his tone alone sounds. "So you're saying I'm worrying too much?" you ask, grounding your curiosity for the moment.

He nods. "But there's no problem with that so long as it ain't taken to extremes."

"Like overprotective and all that?"

"Yeah." He stands up when the bus fills itself to the brim, leaving a few people to stand and one person to sit down where he's just gotten up from. "I'd say you're fine, though."

"Oh, yeah?" you challenge, smile turning to a grin. "And what makes you say that?" 

"You've been willing to listen to me so far, and you're still wanting to understand us despite everythin' you know about us already. That's not really somethin' someone overprotective would do."

"Move over," a man says, interrupting your conversation with the monster. He stands right in the middle of Sans and you, and he directs a glare at you only, fueled by exasperation. Compared to the man Sans had given up his seat for, who'd been limping all the way with a bad leg to the hand-bars, he seems fine; tired, but able to stand firm even as the bus keeps moving on. "Being sick in the head's not a valid reason for you to take up a seat all for yourself."

"Excuse me?" you ask, narrowing your gaze at him. "Care to elaborate on that, sir?"

"You're (L/N) aren't you?" he asks back, scoffing. "Gotta be real screwed up to talk with a guy like him when your kid went missing and ended up in that same place he lived in." His anger's unforgiving, and he hardly cares to register how much attention he's drawing to himself and you. "Why couldn't they tell you about it? Ever question yourself that? If monsters are so advanced enough to build a whole damn robot more human than any android I've seen up here, they could've given you a call or somethin' to tell you your kid's alive and well. Ever stopped to think about it? Or do you care that little over your kid's well-being? Stop for a moment and think about why they didn't try to help your kid outta the Underground." He stops only to catch his breath and increase the intensity of his tone and words. "So what if there was a magic spell keeping them trapped? And so what if they couldn't do nothin' about it? I'd be damn happy if they'd at least try to tell me my kid was okay!"

You keep quiet as you contemplate his words. Even Sans seems struck by them, and simply one quick glance exchanged between you lets you know he's waiting for you to give your judgment on the situation. He doesn't intervene, though he keeps himself close enough to help out, most likely in case the situation were to escalate any further.

"I'm trying to listen to their side of the story before I make any accusations."

"And what does that help you with?" His grimace worsens and he takes a few steps closer, almost cornering you between him and your seat. "Are you dense, or do you not notice how they're tryin' to soften you up by being nice? Bet you a guy like him wouldn't give a damn over a limping human if he knew they were the key to getting outta the Underground." He glares at the skeleton when he says that and turns back to you afterwards. "Don't you see how he looks at you? He's-"

The man's argument drowns out with the rest of the bus's noises, now filled with loud murmurs from the crowd and their unrelenting stares, all of them directed at you. You want to say something, but panic overwhelms all other feelings and any possible, rational thoughts. Your breaths turn ragged and scarce, and the world around you begins to spin. All other words you can decipher from your mind are thoughts on how you're failing as a person and as a parent, more specifically -- on how each and every step you take's one huge mistake and a piece of evidence to prove you're not good enough.

If your best isn't good enough, then what's there left to do?

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

• • •

Tag List (Comment or message me if you want to be added to it!)

@the-simp-express

[gryfon-spanish-werewolf]

The Choice - Part 2

Part 2 of my elsanna Hulder/Valkyrie au :D I know I said I’d make them 1-1.5k but I guess my sweet spot is 2-3k ¯\_(^^;)_/¯  Good for y’all

I highly recommend reading Chapter 1 and/or the original concept for context because this chapter picks up EXACTLY where we left off. And I do mean exactly. ao3 and ff.net links are up too!

Shout out to @like-red-lads again for indulging me in the concept, @giuliaciulia89 bc I know you’ve been waiting patiently for this one, and a quick spike for @snowmanmelting since you asked ever so politely for a notification of publishing 💖

--------------------------------------------------

The woman who still crouched naked in the water leveled a glare at the Valkyrie. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

Anna felt like someone had wedged the padding of her armor directly into her skull. Her thoughts zipped too and fro, bouncing off the sides while whatever still sane part of her brain jumped desperately in the middle, trying to grab even one coherent thought.

Who are you? Well that’s easy, I’m Anna, the Valkyrie! Wait no, no, I can’t say that, humans that are still alive can’t know that.

What are you doing here? So funny story - I felt like I needed to be here and find you and I know why but I can't tell you or you won’t believe me, or maybe worse you will believe me and then we’re still stuck because-

Life or Death?

This question was causing the most trouble. Anna felt the answer gallop up her throat again, only for it to wilt and corkscrew off somewhere else as it neared the tip of her tongue. It leaped up her legs and tornado’d around her insides like a rock trapped in a gale, bruising everything it touched, but still it didn’t make itself known to her. It was a pressure, the kind that rattled the lid of a pot over-boiling above the cookfire.

Anna shook her head, feeling more than a little dizzy. The remaining part of her brain that was still running around for a legitimate answer grew tired as well and sat down, which prompted Anna to do the same, plopping down onto the rock below her feet in an unceremonious heap. The woman across from her flinched.

“I guess I mean,” Anna replied slowly as she crossed her arms over her chest, “that I really don’t know. And that’s never happened before.”

The woman narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Which part?”

“All of them. Oh!” Anna pounded her fist into her palm. “Except the first question, I can answer that one. I’m Anna!” She grinned broadly, just like she had for the warrior in the battlefield. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“I wish I could say the same,” the woman groused, “but considering the circumstances, you will have to forgive me for not feeling the same.”

“It’s certainly odd,” Anna mused aloud, putting her chin in her hand. She missed the other woman’s exasperated expression entirely. “Today started out so normal but now everything is strange.”

“That I can agree with.”

“I know!” Anna threw her arms out. “First there was the fight, then my plans changed without warning and I miss my ride home, then I stumble-sprint through the forest following your voice and now you’re talking to me and--!” Anna pulled up short.

She was having a conversation with a human.

A live human.

Which meant…

“Hey, this is going to sound like a trick question but, you can see me, right?”

The woman blinked, a furrow deepening between her brows. “That… does seem like a trick question.” Anna waited patiently, and saw the moment the other woman realized she would have to answer: a defeated drop of her shoulders. “Yes. Yes I can see you.”

“Oh good!” Anna chirped. “I mean uh, not good, actually,” she frowned and looked to the side, thinking. “Well not baaaad.” Anna bobbed her hands in front of her, as though physically weighing the implications on a scale. “Just… unexpected, y’know?”

The look on the blonde’s face told Anna that she did not, in fact, know.

“I… can imagine that thinking you can’t be seen, only to be seen, would be… unexpected,” was the diplomatic reply.

But Anna had already retreated back into her own head, her mini-me having rested long enough to start picking up the pieces and sorting them into piles. Piles of Normal, piles of Weird, and piles of Highly Irregular.

Being seen by a living human was definitely Highly Irregular.

Maybe something had gone wrong with the magic today, or by leaving the company of her sisters the cloaking spell had frayed and broken with distance. Regardless, if this woman did not suspect Anna’s true nature, then she supposed it wasn’t a big deal. She still had the largest issue at hand anyway.

Again the Choice stirred under the skin of her palms, racing past her funny bone in a jolt and stinging the junction of shoulder and neck before disappearing like a snuffed candle.

“Any update on that second part,” a voice startled Anna from her thoughts, “or are we free to move on with our lives?” The woman in the water had started to shiver, goosebumps covering her arms and legs.

“I’m sorry!” Anna jumped up and reached out. “Here, let me help you up.”

The blonde looked at her hand like it was a poisonous snake. “I’m more than capable of getting out myself, thank you.” Her gaze flicked back up to Anna’s, “Especially because you won’t tell me why you’re here. Or you can’t remember, which I can’t say is any better.”

“Oh, right, well…” Anna withdrew her hand and rubbed the back of her neck instead. “I’ll let you do that then.”

A beat passed before something seemed to click in the woman’s brain. “You’re just going to stand there?”

“Huh? Yeah?” Anna cocked her head, “I mean, we’re both women.”

“We’re also strangers,” the woman responded, grinding the final word between her teeth.

“Sure but, it’s not a big deal, I’ve seen plenty of naked women.”

This time it was the blonde who blushed, making her hair stand out more starkly against her reddened skin. “Right,” she said flatly. “Be that as it may, if you’re so determined to stay I’d prefer it if you at least turned around.”

“I… of course. If it makes you more comfortable.” Anna spun on her heel, her back to the water. Throughout their conversation, the strength of the tugging had ebbed, less a riptide and more a kitten batting at a string of yarn, pulling against the middle vertebrae of her spine.

If the woman replied it was lost in the swoosh and splatter of water as she moved from the middle of the stream to the bank. Anna heard the droplets of water splash onto the rocks below, sometimes more, sometimes less. Perhaps she was wringing out her hair.

“Don’t peek,” the woman scolded.

“I wasn’t going to!”

“Prove it. Close your eyes.”

Anna nearly turned around to answer in spite, but caught herself and set her eyes straight into the trees. “I’m already facing away from you, isn’t closing my eyes a little much?” But Anna did as she was told.

“No,” came the muffled reply, as though the woman had turned away from her, also. There was a ruffle of cloth and the sounds of dressing, the clasp of a belt and the slide of shoes.

And then there was the knife.

It was nearly impossible for someone of Anna’s age and battle prowess to mistake the sound of a blade leaving it’s sheathe. And even if she had, the tether pressing against her back suddenly ignited - combusting, roaring and leaping against her like a brush fire.

In a heartbeat Anna whirled around, knees bent and legs spread apart. The woman stood before her a few feet away, now dressed, though water still dripped from her legs and soaked the fabric of her dress at the collar. Between them was a hunting knife, pointed at Anna’s heart.

“You’re armed!?” Anna blurted out.

“Isn’t everyone?” The woman called back, gesturing with the tip of the knife to Anna’s waist before aiming right back at her center. “And so are you, by the way.”

“Yes but that’s because I’m--!” Anna clapped a hand over her mouth in the nick of time. She couldn’t just say she was a Valkyrie, there had to be some kind of rule against that.

“A warrior, I know.” The woman scoffed. Anna swore for a moment her eyes flashed like the glint of sea rime at dawn but it was gone just as fast. “Come from the battle up the hill have you? Is that why you won’t tell me what you’re doing here, you’re not sure whose side I’m on? Whether I’ll run away from you or into your arms? Or are you a deserter? Tucking your tail between your legs and winding up here, caught without a backup plan?”

“Yes! No. What? Absolutely not. A-And no! In that order!” Anna straightened, rubbing a hand on her temple. Her head was starting to ache, not just from the situation (which was already far, far beyond what she’d ever imagined), but from the strain of the pull on her body. Never had it lasted so long or been so overwhelming. It trod up her sternum and into her throat, dancing along the edges of her jaw. Anna ground the heel of her forward foot into the rock below, needing to physically restrain herself from walking forward. The woman noticed her shift in posture and took a half step back. “Yes, I came from the battle,” Anna said, taking a deep breath. “But not because I was involved in it. I came here because… because I needed to find you. Because I heard you singing.”

Well that was true enough, Anna thought to herself. “Who lives and who dies is important to me,” she continued, finding her way through the half truths that would have to bear her along, like stepping stones made from clouds. “But equally important is that those who are not destined for combat are spared. That those whose lives are decided by other things are not drawn into battle needlessly.”

The woman knelt slowly, keeping her front towards Anna at all times while retrieving a bag from behind a rock. She slung it over her shoulder before speaking. “Oh, so you are a judge, too,” she said icily. “Well then decide. But bear in mind - your choice is not the only one guiding my fate today.”

Decide. Choose.

The words barked in Anna's head, bayed like hounds on the scent. The Choice bore down on her again, like the stones that crushed guilty men, one on top of another.

“My name is Anna,” she said gravely, drawing upon the power with which she made Choices before the war drums had even played their first beat.

“Part one,” the woman counted, standing tall.

“I came here to solve a mystery, to find whomever was at the end of a string… a song.”

“Part two…”

Anna felt it, the Choice zinging up her arm, raising the hairs on her neck, feeling the thrum of her heart in her chest. It was time.

“And I choose... to let you go.”

Silence passed between them, and then the woman frowned, the tip of her knife dropping just slightly. “What?”

“I mean, I never meant to keep you here, and I’m sorry that you felt threatened.” Anna placed as much compassion as she could muster into her words, which was quite a lot. One didn’t get good at comforting dead souls by being callous for hundreds of years. Besides, this woman was only human, and if there was a problem with Choosing, that wasn’t her folly but Anna’s, and something she needed to investigate on her own. “You must live somewhere nearby?” Anna coaxed. “The village southwest of here perhaps, down the hills? I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you safe. I won’t tell anyone you were here, just in case. But it’s not safe to stick around. You should go back home.”

“Home…” The word fell oddly from the blonde’s lips. “Yes I-, I’ll do that.”

Anna rocked back on her heels, hands settling genially on her hips. Despite the draw she still felt between her and this woman, it was manageable now. She wasn’t sure what she was going to tell her fellow Valkyries about this, but she’d cross that bridge when she came to it.

“If it’s all the same to you,” the woman said, interrupting Anna’s thoughts, “I’ll wait until you leave. You’ve made yourself more trustworthy than you first appeared, but I’d not like to take chances.”

Anna smiled despite the scrutiny. “Well I was going to offer to walk you home, but you seem like you can take care of yourself. That knife has hardly lowered once.”

“I think that’s a genuine compliment, for which I’ll say, ‘thank you’.” The flicker of a smile came and went in the dappled sunlight across the woman’s face, so quickly Anna almost missed it. “Don’t take this the wrong way… Anna,” the woman spoke as Anna began walking back into the forest, “but I hope I never see you again.”

The Valkyrie’s heart trilled at the use of her name, even as sadness dampened it’s cheer. It was entirely possible they’d never meet again. Perhaps on the next morn, battle long over, Anna would wake and the pull would disappear completely. Freed from the burden of Choice until it came around next time, for someone new. Though, Anna hadn’t been lying when she said she’d arrived following a mystery. And mysteries hated going unsolved.

But for now she trudged through the trees back toward the hill, throwing a last hand over her shoulder in farewell.

With each step the tug grew lighter and lighter - a snag, a tap, a whisper across the room, until finally it was only noticeable if she concentrated.

Clear frost filigree inside a spyglass.

------

Elsa waited until the Valkyrie was long out of sight. She sheathed her knife only when birdsong came back to the wood, and with that movement went the last of her strength.

She fell to her hands and knees, trembling.

A Valkyrie. A Valkyrie had come looking for her.

In all her years, all her centuries of life, Elsa had never been so close to one. She knew who they were and to whom they were sworn. What they dedicated their life to. Reaping souls for the glory of another war and leaving the rest to rot.

Elsa breathed heavily, her brave and icy façade melting as her lungs begged for air to quell the panic in her heart. She’d made a mistake reacting to the Valkyrie's presence, even if it had been a genuine surprise. Humans couldn’t see Valkyries, and if Elsa wanted to remain hidden, she needed to keep pretending she was human.

But the Valkyrie… Anna..., had seemed distracted too. Something had been bothering her, or maybe even hurting her.

Yet she’d been armed, and knew how to use the sword at her hip. She was a woman who decided whether a person would continue on to see the sunset or not.

Even though she’d been kind, Elsa had not been willing to take the risk.

Elsa’s jaw clenched, her hands forming fists, drawing lines in the sand and loose dirt of the riverbank. She’d been clumsy but she hadn’t been caught. Her secret was safe, for now. The Valkyrie still thought she was nothing but an innocent woman, bathing too close to a battlefield.

She gathered the rest of her things, not that she had many. It was time to disappear and lay low for a while. The song she was singing before came back to her mind, but now it felt tainted so she didn’t even hum. Her malaise showed despite her best efforts however, in the irritable swish and flick of her tail beneath her dress.

That is when she had felt the most terror. Anna had not just come upon her naked in flesh, but in spirit.

Every moment she’d crouched in the water had been eons in her mind. Her muscles still ached with the effort of keeping her tail wound around her calf and ankle. Praying that the Valkyrie would have the modesty not to look, or if she didn’t, to be unable to see through the ripples in the water.

Coupled with the intense need to keep her front to Anna’s at all times, lest she see her back, left Elsa with hardly enough energy to stand.

That’s why Elsa had asked her to close her eyes, even with her back turned. She couldn’t trust the Valkyrie’s word, not when Elsa didn’t know the true reason she’d come. While her lie about following a song hadn’t been entirely false, it certainly wasn’t the whole truth. At least Anna had complied with her request. Elsa wasn’t sure what she’d have done if she hadn’t.

Probably disappear into thin air.

But that would have been more suspicious, and Elsa had known she still had a chance to ward off the preoccupied Valkyrie. Though she’d been successful, that triumph, in its wake, only made her light headed, with nerves so bundled up in her core she felt nauseous.

Elsa checked her surroundings one last time before reaching out in front of her, a little above her head. She felt for a Seam, running the pads of her fingers up and down, along divots and warps until she found one and pulled. An opening appeared before her, like a drape pulled away from a window. Inside the world was muted, duller, quieter.

Elsa took one last breath of fresh air before she stepped inside, feeling the doorway close behind her.

After all, the Hulder did say she’d go home.

[matrixaffiliate]

Endeavor

Chapter Update! FFN and AO3

Happy Saturday! Two chapters today, and then we have two chapters on October 31st, and this lovely little story comes to its end. See you next week!

Chapter 17

Teddy was finding that this whole planning a proposal thing was a good bit of fun. It probably had a lot to do with how he'd turned the whole thing into a game; that, and Vic choosing to play as well. He was thinking of feeding her a few other clues just to try and throw off her timeline. That idea seemed like a lot of fun too.

First, however, Ted needed to make sure that Kalil and Maira were on board with a proposal at their wedding.

He'd texted Kalil an afternoon three weeks before their wedding to make sure he could drop by that evening. When Kalil responded yes, Ted drove straight to their flat after work with excitement building in his chest.

"Hey mate," Kalil let him inside, "What did you need to talk about."

Maira came up behind Kalil and pulled Ted into a quick hug as he tried to kick off his shoes.

"You may not move in with us." She teased as she released him.

"Well, there goes that plan, I guess I'll just show myself out then," Ted smirked at the laugh he pulled out of two of his oldest friends.

"Come sit down," Maira led them to the couch, "Do you want something to drink?"

"I'm good, thanks," Ted claimed his favorite spot on the couch that Kalil had taken with him when the two moved out of their shared flat. "I wanted to ask a small favor on your wedding day?"

"I'm not naming our first child Edward," Kalil smirked at him.

"That's alright, I don't think that just anyone can handle a name like Edward."

"Will you get to the point, Ted?" Maira sighed as she rolled her eyes.

"I was, but your fiancé distracted me."

"Why do you think I always beat you at Mario Kart?" Kalil grinned.

"Darling, shush," Maira kicked at Kalil's foot. "Out with it, Ted."

"It's nothing huge, Maira, I just was hoping you two would be alright if I were to propose to Vic at your wedding.

"Seriously?" Kalil shouted before slapping Ted on the back. "Congrats mate!"

Maira moved to give him another hug as she squealed. "Of course, you can propose to her at our wedding! Oh, Ted, this is going to be so wonderful!"

Ted took a moment to compose himself. He hadn't counted on their reaction being so moving to him. It was all dreams and games up to this point, but with his two friends getting ready for their wedding in just a few weeks, and their overwhelming support to give a piece of the best day of their life thus far to him, Ted found his eyes were suddenly watering a small bit.

"So, er, can I get an idea of how things are going to move on your big day?" Ted cleared his throat and blinked the excess moisture from his eyes.

"Mai has all that info, right babe?"

"On it," Maira jumped up and moved down the corridor, returning with her tablet in hand.

"First is the ceremony, then we have dinner, and then the reception, I think that would probably be the best time to do it."

"What's your reception look like?" Ted leant closer to look at the document.

"Our first dance," Maira pointed to the screen, "then dancing for an hour while we mingle, and then cake cutting, more dancing, and then Kalil and I get to leave."

"My favorite part," Kalil smirked at Ted while Maira rolled her eyes.

Ted looked at the screen as he tried to think his way through this.

"How do you feel if I propose after your first dance? You could ask the DJ to give me a minute before he turns the music back on, and I could propose, and then we'd have the whole reception to celebrate with you."

"I think it's perfect!" Maira smiled so wide Ted wondered if her face hurt from the effort. "We could even have him play a song you and Vic really like first!"

Ted nodded, "Yeah, yeah, let's do that, I'll figure out what the right song would be and let you know."

Maira squealed happily and gripped Kalil's arm. "I'm so excited for this!"

"Sure, be excited about our friend proposing, forget that you'll be my wife, that's completely secondary." Kalil gave his arm a playful shake to free himself from her grip. But Maira just held on tighter and kissed him instead.

"I'll be your wife forever; I only get to see so many of our friends propose."

"She'll forget about me and Vic the moment you get her out of the reception," Ted consoled his best friend. "If you'd like, you can come and propose to Maira again at my wedding."

Kalil laughed, "Nah, proposing once was quite enough for me, thanks all the same."

"Spoilsport," Maira teased.

Ted smiled, they had it all figured out. Everything was ready, and in place, the only thing left to do was to wait.

Thankfully the days moved quickly, and before he knew it, Ted was driving to pick up Vic for the wedding.

Being in the wedding party, he had to be there before the ceremony to be a part of the pictures. He had needed to approach that problem carefully, as he really didn't want him and Vic to be in separate cars when they left the wedding reception. But Vic thought that being there early would be fine, and she readily agreed to have him pick her up in time for Ted to be in the wedding party photos. If he hadn't been so relieved, he would have been suspicious.

Ted pulled up to the Weasley's home and turned off his car. He looked at the glove box and smiled as he unlocked it and pulled out the ring.

"Well, my friend, tonight's the night." He opened the box and smiled. Tonight, it would be on her hand. Tonight, he wouldn't systematically check to make sure the glove box was shut and locked when he went up to his flat. Tonight, everything he'd been working towards would come together in what he hoped would be the greatest day of her life thus far. He slid the box in his pocket and moved to collect Vic.

Ted knocked on the Weasley's door and straightened his tie. But when Vic opened the door his hands fell from his neckline and he forgot how to breathe.

Ted had seen Vic get dressed up before. He'd taken her to different places that had required more than jeans and a t-shirt. But he'd never seen her in anything like this.

She looked like she should be walking out of a Hollywood red carpet event, not a small house on the seashore. Her hair was in curls and pulled back slightly, making her blue eyes the center focus. And her blue dress seemed to make the blue in her eyes pop like a photo app filter.

"Wow."

"Do you like it?" Vic bit her lip and moved one of her blonde curls back over her shoulder.

"You're beautiful."

Ted pulled her into him and felt the first bout of nerves that day over what he had planned. Vic was amazing, and she looked like a movie star, was everything he had planned tonight really enough?

"We should get going," Vic smiled up at him. "We don't want to keep Kalil and Maira waiting on you."

"Right," Ted sighed and reluctantly released his hold around her, opting to take her hand as they moved to his car.

Ted was glad that Vic was excited, she talked when she was excited, and he didn't know if he could manage to be the carrier of their conversations at that moment. He hadn't expected to be this nervous. She was going to say yes, logically he knew that. She wouldn't have played that she might ask him first if she wasn't going to say yes when he asked. But the irrational side of Ted's mind was apparently not listening. His palms were damp and they hadn't even made it to the pictures. Ted casually checked the time on his dashboard and had to suppress his groan. He still had three hours to go.

"You ok?" Vic put her hand on his thigh as Ted maneuvered the car into a parking spot.

Ted killed the engine and turned to look at her. She was smiling at him like the sun, her face full of excitement and love and just, everything.

He almost asked her right there, but somehow, he reeled himself in before he could ruin all his well-laid plans.

"Yeah, just, I can't believe that they're finally getting married. I've known them for most of university, and they've been something of an institution. This day more or less cements how far we've all come."

Vic leant forward and kissed him softly. "And it's going to be perfect."

She couldn't know how much her simple statement had given him a little bit of calm in the storm of nerves he was currently fighting. That was a big part of what he loved about her, she was always the calm in whatever storm he was in, even back when she had been with Sean, the moments with just her were what got him through it more than anything else he'd tried during those difficult months. Now, she was the calm that was getting him through the nerves he felt at asking her to be his forever.

They climbed out of the car and Kalil spotted them, calling them over in the middle of the photographer trying to take a picture, for which Maira gave his chest a light smack, making everyone laugh. Ted watched the photographer get the candid shot and was pretty sure that Maira would probably prefer that image to the majority of the lot they'd get today.

"We're so glad you're here!" Maira hugged them as she and Kalil met them halfway between the parking lot and where the rest of the wedding party was gathered. "You look amazing!" Maira adjusted one of Vic's golden curls.

"Thanks," Vic's smile was wide, "My sister helped me get ready. She's really good at this stuff."

"I'd say," Ted kissed her cheek.

The photographer suggested that they keep going with the pictures when Maira grabbed Vic's hand. "Come be in one with us!"

Vic blinked, "Are you sure, I don't want to impose, I only came early so Ted and I didn't need to bring two cars."

"Yes!" Maira gave her hand a firm tug, "I want a few pictures with the four of us. We've got plenty of time to do some with the four of us, and you look gorgeous, you have to get some pictures of you looking like this!"

Ted gave Vic's other hand a tug, "Come on, Vic, you know you want to."

"Oh, alright," Vic laughed as she gave in and they started to follow the bride and groom to where the photographer was wanting to position them.

"Ted!"

Ted turned around and smiled when he saw Nicki, her magenta bridesmaid dress causing the green streaks in her hair to pop like pieces of candy.

"Hey, Nicki!" He pulled Vic back and into his side as Nicki caught up.

"Vic, this is Nicki, she's a friend of Mai's and subsequently mine and Kalil's too. Nicki, this is my Victoire."

"I heard you'd started dating someone. It's nice to meet you, Victoire." Nicki held out her hand to Vic.

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Vic shook her hand and then bit her lip, "And thank you for being a good friend to Ted."

Ted was momentarily surprised. He'd told Vic about Nicki, about how things had worked out for the best between them, but he'd played this introduction so that she wouldn't need to visit that part of their past today. Another day, maybe he'd have done it differently, but today needed to be perfect. Apparently, Vic had come a lot further than he'd realized.

Nicki raised her eyebrows at Ted and then chuckled as she addressed Vic.

"I'm glad you two found your way back to each other."

Nicki's phone rang and she pulled it out to silence it but stopped.

"Sorry, this is my date," she apologized as she stepped away to take the call. Ted could have sworn he heard her say the name Kevin when she answered. He wondered if it was Kevin from marketing where she worked...

"That was really cool of you," Ted kissed Vic's cheek.

"Yeah, well it was really cool of her to let you go while I figured myself out." Vic kissed his lips, long and sweet.

"Ted!" Maira's voice intruded on their stolen moment. "Don't ruin her make-up before she's been in the pictures!"

The photos of the four of them and the wedding party photos didn't take very long and Ted found himself standing with his arms around Vic as they waited just a bit longer before separating for the ceremony.

"This is nice," she looked up at him and smiled. "I'm glad I came early with you instead of coming in my own car."

"Me too," Ted kissed her and again felt the overwhelming desire to ask her then and there.

It was a beautiful day and it was peaceful in this little secluded corner they'd found. It felt like them, this stolen solitude. It felt right. But he'd put so much effort into planning this out, and Kalil and Maira had too. He was pretty sure that they'd kill him if he simply couldn't contain himself and proposed after going through all the effort to plan an elaborate proposal with them.

He needed to distract himself. He needed to redirect his train of thought. And his answer came in the DJ turning on music while she finished setting up.

Ted turned Vic around and started to spin her around in their little corner in time to the music.

Vic laughed as he moved them through the song. "See, I knew you were pulling my leg. You can dance!"

Ted kissed her as he dipped her back into a small dip. "I'm full of surprises."

They only ended up having time to dance that one song before Kalil cut in to get Ted to his place and Vic moved to take her seat.

"You doing alright?" Ted asked his friend as he stood to his left and looked out over the guests. His eyes landed on Vic and he smiled as she gave him a little wave.

"Yeah, er, just, a bit nervous, you know?" Kalil shoved his hands in his pockets before pulling them back out and clasping his hands behind him.

"Don't think about the rest of us, mate. Just focus on her, you'll be fine."

"Right," Kalil gave him a grateful smile. "Are you all set for later?"

"Yep," Ted rubbed the back of his neck. "I won't lie, I've been tempted to throw the plan out and just ask her a few times today already."

"Hold strong, mate, you've planned something pretty big, don't waste it."

Ted laughed, "Don't worry, I've got enough self-control for this."

"I'd hope so, you managed to wait for her to make her way back to you. You've got the patience of a saint."

Ted went to respond, but the music began and Maira stepped out. Ted didn't waste his breath, Kalil wouldn't have heard him anyway.

The ceremony wasn't long and soon Ted was again back with Vic as they ate dinner. Dinner seemed to fly as Ted's nerves started to build up and gain momentum. This was it. He was within an hour of proposing. His chest felt like it was filled with electricity and his hands were sweating.

"Are you alright?" Vic looked at him concerned.

"Yeah," Ted tried to chuckle. "I'm great."

Vic gave him a shy smile and squeezed his hand. "Good."

They moved from dinner to the reception area and Ted kept Vic close to his side as they waited for Kalil and Maira to come in and dance their first dance.

"She's beautiful," Vic whispered as the happy couple took the dance floor.

"You're beautiful," Ted murmured close to her ear.

They watched quietly while Kalil and Maira spun around the floor and as the song started to come to an end Ted pulled Vic closer.

"Hey," he turned her to face him. "I…"

But before he could continue Ted heard a woman cry out on the other side of the dance room. He glanced over and resisted the urge to start swearing. Some other wedding guest was currently on one knee before the woman Ted assumed had cried out.

Shite.

There was a moment where the man spoke and then the woman gave him a teary nod. And that was that. Everything Ted had worked for months to prepare was gone.

And Ted wanted to pummel the stranger who had stolen it all out from under him.

[suearthboundau]

hey guys i know its been pretty quiet, so im posting to give u all a little update.

first of all, thank u for all the support and well-wishes. i really appreciate it in this difficult time.

secondly, ive been thinking about this story and how its delivered, and potentially there will be changes.

right now, i am posting this story as a comic 11 panels at a time. when i first started this blog, a comic was the format i chose (rather than fanfic) because i wanted to work on my drawing, i could easier match the show’s tone/storytelling style through visuals, i would be more likely to have a larger viewerbase, and because i already have a different “zircons on earth” au on ao3 with different characterisation/headcanons and didnt want confusion between the two.

when i first started, drawing an update was easy because i was so passionate about this project. i wouldnt even need a script sometimes because i had so many ideas, and i could get the sketches done in an hour and the digital done in another four. now, it takes me 4-5 hours just to do the script and sketches. i most likely have adhd, ive seen a doctor and im going to be tested soon, and when im not super passionate abt a project it can be completely impossible to focus on. sometimes ive had to split the sketching over two days because after a few hours of trying to work on it i could only get 3 panels done. its like i try to think and something blocks thoughts from forming, even though i usually know whatll happen in a page just figuring out how to script it is hard. after the sketching, the digital is another 4-5 hours, and while it was fun and quick-feeling once, now it’s something i really have to slog through, doing all the simplest panels first like im eating my potatoes before my brussel sprouts. the whole time i work, i feel stressed and frustrated and i want to be doing anything else. sometimes i end up staring at a wall for ten minutes because my brain is so unwilling to focus.

on top of that, a comic like mine moves at a glacial pace. if i keep posting 11 panels a week for a year from today, thatll be 612 panels. so far we’ve had over 100 and practically nothing has happened. it could take years to get through the whole story i had planned, and i dont want to work on this for years. when i started, i didnt realise my choices would make this such an undertaking. or i just assumed id always be passionate enough that it wouldnt feel like a chore.

an option ive considered is either partly or fully telling the story in writing instead. a single 2000 word chapter could bring six months worth of comic-told story, and take way less time. plus, im way way better at writing than drawing. however the problem is a single week’s update would take longer than drawing, because writing takes more effort and i hold myself to a higher standard with it. plus, writing gets less notes and noone will reblog it, and that mightnt seem like something i should care about but entertaining people is the only reason i keep working on this. so if i switched and my average notes dropped from 20 to 5 itd be disheartening.

another thought i had was just posting the dot-pointed story ideas i had and then ending the blog. the reasons i might do this:. im kind of losing my special interest in su. and my wrist issues keep recurring so i basically always am limited in how much i can write/draw each day, and i want to use my limited time to work on new story ideas im passionate to work on. also i have pretty bad depression to the point that i can really only set myself one big task every second day without feeling overwhelmed, and this blog can take up multiple of those slots since sometimes i have to split the work over 2-3 days. also, now that suf has been done for a while, the su fandom is less active and interaction is way down on my posts, indicating that i wont have an audience for much longer anyway. plus this is about the zircons and im pretty sure me and like 5 other ppl are the only ones posting/reblogging abt them anymore so theres no market for this idea. a reason i might not shut down the blog is that its personally disappointing to me to give up on a project i was once so excited to finish.

so yeah, let me know what u guys think.

[one-spidey-boii]

BUMMER SUMMER || peter parker; ch nine

read ch eight here

masterlist

an; i’ve really struggled with juggling all my responsibilities lately so please forgive me. i just ate questionable fried rice and i’m feeling mediocre at best. have a great day you guys.

warnings; mentions of battle wounds (i.e. blood/scars/etc), smut, mature language, fluff, angst, both peter and oc are 18+!!

word count; 3.1k+

edie's pov

i take in a deep breath and click the call button on my phone after hovering over it with my thumb for a few long and painful seconds. i slowly bring it up to my ear. on the third ring, a small click sounds on the other end.

"ah! you're still alive. yippee!" tony's voice chirps jokingly at me from wherever he and the rest of the avengers were staying. i sit up in my bed and play with the end seam of my shorts.

"i am..." i trail off awkwardly, not entirely sure what to say to the man. he's making me call him everyday, and i don't know how long it's going to last, but i'm already running out of things to tell him at this point. i'm healing, my bruises are fading, the pain is subsiding.

"is peter treating you right?" he asks. i gulp at his question, remembering the moments peter and i shared only a day ago.

"u-uh yeah, wait- um what do you mean?" i stutter out, mentally kicking myself.

"i mean, is he taking care of you? yanno, making you chicken noodle soup or hot chocolate and giving you back massages- actually scratch that last one, i don't wanna think about that." he rambles on, my face flushes and i pull loose pieces of fabric off of my shorts completely in panic. no way can mr. stark find out about peter and i...whatever we are.

"hey! it's not like that." i mumble, doing my best to cover my nerves.

"yeah, sure it's not." tony retorts back with a snort, his voice just above a whisper. i'm at a loss for words, "uh, pfft, yeah, it's not."

"i don't care either way- well, that's a lie, i care a little bit. just keep healing and make sure peter stays sharp out there." i squirm in my spot and continue to update mr. stark on my condition, eager to get off of the phone.

with a final 'goodbye' and 'don't do anything stupid'- he ends the call and i flop back down on my bed. my side only slightly aches when i move now, becoming less of an annoyance and more of a numbing feeling.

i glance around my room at my fresh yellow walls. the color brightens the space and brings a warm feeling to the pit of my stomach. but my bed is still in the middle of the room, making me feel open and vulnerable on all sides. with one big huff i roll out of bed and plant my feet at the end of the frame. i give one push with both hands and the bed goes skidding back to the wall. in the process, my side cramps up and a burning sensation pushes its way through my body, making me wince.

"you okay there?" a soft, yet teasing voice speaks up from behind me. i dip my head down between my arms still placed on the bed and peek at the intruder through my legs from upside down. peter stands there, a lazy smirk spread across his lips. i roll my eyes and flip my head back up to turn around and face the boy.

"absolutely. i don't always need your help, parker." i reply and lean against the end of my bed. after the alarm went off last night, peter and i spent our time making food until he had to go out on patrol, more hesitant that ever to leave. none of us said a word about the disturbance, despite my suspicions. he returned late in the morning, later than his usual schedule. and when he did get back, he went straight to sleep, not even making it to his room. he stayed fast asleep on the couch until late afternoon. i guess he came straight to me after he woke up.

it's only been two days since i've been out, but my body is growing restless at the lack of adventure. jealousy poked at heart knowing that he would be the one seeing and protecting the city until mr. stark deemed me ready to get back out there.

i push the feeling away, not wanting to focus on things i have no control over.

peter takes a few steps closer to me, speaking playfully, "so, mr. stark gave me a call today. he wanted to know if i was taking care of you." once his body reaches mine, his fingertips immediately move to trail along my hips, "what do you think, wolfie? am i taking good care of you?" his voice lowers the closer he leans in.

i gulp audibly at his question, thinking back to my own conversation with mr. stark. my eyes meet his and i can’t t form any words under his gaze. so i just nod sheepishly at him, it seems to be the only thing i can do lately. peter's mouth curls into a satisfied smirk and it makes my stomach drop into my feet. an overwhelming surge of heat passes through my body and i have to lean back farther into the mattress for support.

peter and i didn't really talk about what had happened yesterday. at the time, it didn't seem weird or out of the ordinary. it felt natural, good. now that we've—i've—had time to think about it, well, i don't know what to think. i don't even know what to say to him. it's embarrassing how much control he seems to have over me, after so many years of being able to joke around as friends.

now his closeness makes my heart squeeze both in adoration and frustration. i'm angry at how fast he's able to make me melt into his hands. i used to tease and make him blush, now he somehow turned the tables. just add that to the list of things i can't control.

peter leans in, close enough to pepper a soft kiss to the corner of my lips, "i gotta head out, but i'll be around." he pulls away and points to his ear, where his comm rests.

"see you around." i say with a level voice, now too focused on gaining a hold of myself to be sweet with him. he drops his remaining hand from my hip, choosing to ignore my change in demeanor. with a small wave that reminds me of the nervous boy he used to be, he turns the corner and i'm alone again.

my skin is buzzing. the feeling is mostly concentrated on where peter's fingers had been, but it's spreading quick. needing a distraction from the feeling, i change out of my comfy clothes into something a little more suited for action. i rumble through my luggage and pull out a black sports bra with leggings to match. before i leave, i shove my own comm in my ear.

after making my way to the training room, i set up a few different targets. the first one is a simple circle with three red rings spaced around a red center, i place it firmly on the ground. the next one is the same, except this time i suspend it into the air, letting it sway back and forth. the last one is a little different. it's human shaped. as a fighter who refrains from hurting people as much as possible, i'm hesitant to set this one up. but after what i went through, i need the practice on a human target.

i flip through my phone and search for some music to get my energy up, i connect to the speakers that run throughout the house and crank up the volume. the bass of the music cancels out the continuous buzzing through my body, allowing me to shake the tension away. i stretch in front of the mirror before pulling a table to the far side of the room, opposite the targets.

on the table i set out an array of throwing knives, each one reflecting the fluorescent light from the high ceilings. i run my hand over the edge of one knife in particular before grabbing the handle and nailing the middle of the hanging target in one fluent motion. the knife sticks out from the center as the momentum violently swings the target in the air.

i take in a deep breath and pick up two more, one in each hand. i throw both at the same time, hitting the grounded target side by side with barely an inch between them. i continue to practice on the two targets, using up all the knives on the table in the process. i'm sweating and panting as i go to collect them and start again. i let my eyes pass over the human shaped target, but i quickly look away and focus on the other two once again.

after ignoring the last target for what seems like forever, i stop myself mid throw as i notice how shredded the others have become. i drop my arm to my side and use my other hand to turn off the music.

the silence of the room makes the pounding in my ears almost unbearable as i scope out my last challenge of the night. the lifeless figure has no face. it's only the silhouette of a head and torso, a simple shape. despite the fact, i can still see the features of one person in particular.

i raise my hand and ready myself to throw the potentially deadly weapon held in my grasp. i can feel my heart rate pick up and i stare down the figure before me.

a female, seemingly innocent.

my breathing grows heavier as i fall back on the memories of that night, only a few days ago.

she looked scared, all i wanted to do was help.

my stance falters at the thought. my eyes clouding over as i grit my teeth and shake my head to snap myself out of it.

"see what happens when you try and help people?"

with a grunt, i charge at the inanimate target before me. my legs cross the floor in three simple strides as i jump up to plunge the knife into the head of the target. i slide down and i hold the knife tighter in my grasp, letting it slice all the way down the figure, nearly severing it in two. i drop the weapon.

with heavy breaths, i turn to grab another human shaped target. i kick the other one out of the way, replacing it with the new one.

i try different attacks, needing to set up a new target every time i 'kill' the last one. i do it again, and again, and again- picturing the same face every time.

peter's pov

i can't just come out and tell edie i'm searching for the people that attacked her. but i can't come up with any explanation as to why i'm staying out so late—err, early? i don't know. i do know that every second i'm not out here looking, it's becoming more and more dangerous for her. it scares me.

the sun is peaking out from behind the tall buildings of the city. i spent the entire night staking out two people specifically, but no such luck. now i'm sat atop a building, hesitant to call it a day and go back to edie. but, oh boy, i want to see her. thinking about her makes my heart swell, and now that i'm finally able to show her how i feel, it seems like the whole world let out of sigh of relief for me.

i like the way she reacts to me. it being a huge contrast to the playful, witty banter that we used to share exclusively. now, when we get close- i'm the one who takes control. it's a weird change of pace between the both of us, but i don't mind it one bit. it’s almost like i crave it.

once making the decision to go back to the compound, i swing myself across the city, eager to see edie. i get to the door and press a suit covered thumb over the touch screen. the glass door slides open and i slip into the cold air of the compound, making sure the glass shuts and locks behind me before i go any further.

i pull the mask off my head and stumble into the living room, hoping edie is somewhere close. when i don't see her, my face drops and i turn to jog down the hall towards her bedroom. not finding her again, i raise my hand to the comm in my ear and speak.

"e, you there? where've you run off to?" i turn on my heel again to step into my room down the hall. as i do so, her voice floods through my head.

"training room." she utters, her usual soft voice sounding hardened and cold. i quirk an eyebrow up as i change into more comfortable clothes, confused by the girls tone. nevertheless, i finish up and trot over to her.

as i round the corner, my eyes settle on her standing in the middle of the room, rolling her shoulders back with a knife in her hand. i stand quietly and watch her movements, hesitant to step in and become an accidental target. edie raises her arm to throw and adjusts her feet into a low stance. so quickly, i almost miss it, the knife flies through the air towards a human shaped figure. to my surprise- it clatters against the target and falls to the floor.

she lets out a groan and pulls at her hair, muttering profanities under her breath as she turns to see me staring. her body stiffens under my gaze and slowly she lowers her arms to her side, a doe-eyed expression on her face.

"you're back." she mutters. i take a few steps into the room and gulp at what i see. targets similar to the one she just attacked are shredded and thrown across the room in piles. there must have been fifty of them, each one damaged in a different way.

looking back at her, i force a smile on my face, "you've been busy, yeah?"

her eyes follow the path mine took and she shrugs, indifferent, "mhm. training." i nod hesitantly.

"have you slept at all?" i pipe up, curious at how long she has been here.

"not really, no."

another nod, and i shuffle over to the table that holds her collection of weapons. i'm impressed with her skills, seeing as she has no 'super powers'. but damn, she could take anyone down in seconds. i admire the girl in front of me, hoping she knows just how much i do. not long after, a bug of curiosity wiggles around my stomach.

"do...you think you could teach me?" the words slip out of my mouth before i can think of the consequences. edie looks at me with a stoney expression that makes my heart jump. i regret my words immediately, afraid that i offended her or something.

i try to take it back, "i mean- only if you want! i know it's stupid so you don't..."

the devilish smile that creeps along her face shuts me up, "i'll teach you."

i let out a small breath, "o-okay. i should probably go change." i say as i look down at my baggy clothes and compare them to her tight fitted ones. edie shakes her head and waltzes up to me, the smug smile still gracing her lips. i grow nervous, realizing i'm in her territory now. this is her thing, so i force myself to hand over the reigns.

she gestures to the rows of knives on the table, "take you pick, parker." her cool and confident voice sends a small shiver down my spine. i look closer at the table and gingerly run my fingers along each sharp edge. i stop at a knife with a shiny black blade and red handle and i pick it up to feel the weight of it in my hand. the blade isn't metal or steel and it has small ridges on the surface. i bring it closer to examine it even further.

"that's obsidian, black volcanic glass. it was used a lot in the stone ages," edie takes the knife from my hands and twirls the point on the tip of her finger, "it's sharper than steel, and nowadays surgeons use it in their scalpels...good choice, peter." she smiles up at me. i can feel my cheeks flush. she places it back in my palm and struts to the center of the mat, "we'll start close, hopefully you can hit the target. how's your aim?"

i roll my eyes at her taunting words and walk over to her place on the mat. edie strolls around me in circles, observing my body language- which is less confident than i'd like to admit. she stands in front of me and plants her hands firmly on my hips, twisting them into a desired position. next, she does the same with my shoulders, all the while sticking her tongue out in concentration.

then she comes to the knife in my hand and pulls it away, only to place it back and wrap my fingers around it one by one. it immediately feels more comfortable in my hand. she circles me one more time and hums in satisfaction at her work.

"now, obsidian is brittle, so it's really important to make your shot count or else you risk breaking the blade," edie comes back around my front and leans in close, her finger resting under my chin, "don't break my blade." she threatens with a smug smile curling at the edge of her lips. i can't stop my eyes from dropping down to look at them, and she notices.

edie traces her finger along my jaw line, making me shiver once again. i groan at the lack of control over my body and my eyes widen at the sound. she just smiles and lets her hand fall down my chest to finally rest at her side before taking a step back. she points behind her to a circular target a few yards away.

"give it a go." her voice grows softer, encouraging me to make a move. i tighten my grip around the knife and raise my arm to chuck it at the target. i stop short.

"could you...maybe show me first?"

|| taglist; @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines @whycantileaveyou @lovewolfspirit @kitykatnumber @franksholland @goddamnit5sos @thehugslut

[jawnjendes]

the fog will clear up | shawn mendes

chapter 13/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: sry its short and definitely a filler im sry its boring but it helps build up stuff thatll happen next ok ok im sry

*let me know if u wanna be added/removed from the taglist

masterlist | playlist

Annalise woke with a start. She was wide awake immediately. There was no room for sleepily rolling around the sheets, her eyes weren't heavy like always. She didn't know what dying and coming back to life felt like, but she was pretty sure it felt something like that. She had a weird urge to go for a jog.

Staring at the ceiling, Annalise reached towards the nightstand next to her, intending to grab her phone. Her hand touched the bottle, and she picked it up anyway, reading the prescription label.

Annalise Flores SERTRALINE 50MG TABLET Brand name: Zoloft

"You don't waste anytime, huh?" she murmured before setting it back down. Then, she grabbed her phone and checked the time.

8:47am. A new fucking record. Annalise rolled out of bed, unable to stay still.

In the 2 hours she had to kill before work, she tidied up the dorm, ate a decent breakfast, took a shower, and got started on the course work she had to make up. The energy levels were through the roof, she had never been so on edge and productive at the same time. Why wasn't she put on sertraline sooner? Sure, she felt hyperaware and borderline anxious, but that was apart of the process of getting on a new antidepressant. She was getting things done this way. Sure, she jumped when the lock on the door jiggled, but she was up and running anyway!

If she wasn't, she wouldn't have seen Stella entering the dorm. She was surprised to see Annalise on the couch, looking like a deer in headlights.

"Oh… I thought you were asleep. I'll, uh, I'll come back."

"No, wait!" Annalise sounded a little too frantic, but it did stop Stella from leaving. "Uh, come sit down! Please!"

Stella narrowed her eyes slightly as she went to the couch. At least she was willing to listen.

"I, uh, I'm sorry," Annalise began, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm sorry for what I said. A stupid guy isn't the only good in my life. I have you. You matter to me, and I'm sorry for making you feel like you don't." She really couldn't stop herself from rambling. "I miss you. I miss seeing you here between classes, and I miss your optimism because a bitch could use some of that. And, and I'm sorry for the negativity I've brought in here. I'm working on it now, I swear. Just… come back. Come home… because bro, you're my wife, dude."

It could have been funny, but there was nothing funny about the way she said it. Her eyes were wide and pleading, and she was rubbing her hands together. Stella merely blinked her hazel eyes, nearly overwhelmed by that string of words.

"Look at you, expressing your emotions," she said after a while. "I can see why you hold it back."

Annalise nodded rapidly. "It's my first day on a new medication. Got me all sorts of hyped up, but I'll mellow out in a couple of weeks. And I'm taking therapy seriously again!"

Stella was surprised. "Oh, I see. Well… I've missed you too. Bro…"

"Bro?"

"I'll come home too. Camila's bed is too small for the two of us."

"Bro…"

"I know. I have to update you on all that."

"Br-"

"Okay!" Stella broke out a smile and stood up. "Dame un abrazo, puta."

That was much easier than Annalise had anticipated. She stood up and hugged her best friend, relieved. Stella wasn't one to hold a grudge, nor was she as stubborn as her roommate. It was another person to cross off the list.

~

Shawn had social media mainly to get his music out there. Yes, he interacted with his friends on Snapchat, and some fans on Twitter. Most of the time, Shawn just tweeted when he had new music coming out. He didn't check any of his social media very often, not even to stalk Ann's accounts because she was rarely on her's. He didn't even have his notifications on, purely to keep himself from the possibility of getting too attached to the opinions of random strangers online.

That was why he woke up that morning to a number of texts from Camila.

"SHAAWWNWNN"

"SHAWN IM LKTERSLLY BALD RN"

"CHEKC UR TWITTER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"

"YOIR FOLLOWERS!!! AAHSKSKSK"

"SKSKSK SHAWNMM IM SCRAMING"

So to Twitter he went. Shawn rubbed sleep out of his eye as he went to his profile. He had around 10k to begin with, that he built up on his own over the last couple of years. He nearly dropped his phone on his face as he read the new number.

50.2k

"What… the fuck?" he breathed out as he sat up in his bed. He scrolled through the list, making sure this wasn't a series of spam bots.

His mentions were just as wild, and it explained the sudden blow up.

@hollaestor: @shawnmendes hiii bella told me to follow you

@samxriv: @shawnmendes i am free to hang out on tuesday to hang out when i am free

@gisellenjh: @shawnmendes bella sent me here and im glad she did! loving your music!

And there were plenty more like that. There were so many tweets, Shawn couldn't even get through all of them. It was making his head spin. There was only one Bella he knew about too… He just couldn't spell her last name. Thankfully, her handle was just @bellasanti, and it was the first one to pop up when he typed it in the search bar.

Right under Bella Santiago's name and the blue checkmark were the two little words: Follows you. Shawn refreshed the page ten times before it sank in. This YouTuber, who has over 2 million followers, somehow found Shawn's music… and she liked it. She liked it enough to tweet about it… 3 days ago.

@bellasanti: underrated spotify artists: @shawnmendes. give him a listen. send him some love. truly talented guy💖

Shawn had only overheard Bella's videos when Ann was watching them in the other room. He never really watched any of her content. But he wanted to pass out at the fact that she took the time to listen to his music and tweet about him. He wanted to jump on the bed. He wanted to call-

He texted Camila back. "Wtf why did no one tell me sooner?? This is so crazy!!!!!"

"We thought you knew and you were keeping it from us!! LMAO congrats rockstar!"

He couldn't believe it. His follower count was rising. He was getting emails from Spotify saying his songs were being added to many different playlists.

@shawnmendes: @bellasanti wow thank you so much! Love you bella❤

He deleted the last bit before tweeting it. Holy shit. Shawn lied back down on the mattress, completely breathless.

How does someone like Bella Santiago find Shawn out in cyberspace? What Spotify rabbit hole did she go down that led her to him? How many of his songs did she listen to? How many songs did she save to her library? How many of those playlist emails were from her? Shawn had so many questions.

~

There were two things Annalise noticed when she was out on the courtyard after Biology. The first thing was a table on the side of the walkway, with a handmade banner hanging off the front. It read in big letters: Shawn Mendes: Live at The Cameron House. Brian, Alessia. and Camila were all sat on the same side at this table, talking to a student who was interested in the little display.

"The lounge called back," Annalise muttered to herself.

The other thing Annalise noticed was Patrick sitting under a tree nearby, reading a book. She went to him first.

The last time she had spoken to Patrick was when they cut up flowers together. He was never one to explicitly state when something has upset him, and he has seen Annalise in a depressive episode before. Annalise knew him well. Patrick kept his distance because he didn't like the negativity around her, and he couldn't afford any more of it himself.

"Hey," she greeted.

His blue eyes tore away from his book to meet her gaze. "'Sup?"

"Trying to be less fucked in the head," she told him.

Patrick nodded in approval. "Cool."

That was all that was needed for the two of them. Content, Annalise turned and went for the table. A small line had formed when she wasn't looking, so she waited behind the last person. However, with three people running the thing, Annalise got to the front fairly quick.

"Oh, she actually showed up," Brian chimed, amused.

"Meaning?" Annalise asked.

"Thought you were too pissed at Shawn to care about his show, that's all."

She swallowed the pit of annoyance, discovering that even more people knew about that. Brian is his friend, though, of course he'd know.

"Selling tickets or something?" Annalise turned her attention to the two girls.

"Yeah! Ten dollars a piece!" Alessia explained.

"Cool, I'll take one."

Just as she opened the flap on her book bag, Camila spoke up.

"Wait. I'm pretty sure Shawn said he wanted to buy you your ticket himself."

Annalise rolled her eyes. "Well, he's not here and I can do things for myself." She pulled out her wallet and paid her own goddamn ticket.

Camila breathed out a laugh. "Are you ever gonna let him do anything nice for you?"

None of your fucking business.

A new thought occurred to Annalise. "Why are tickets being sold for this show? Aren't his gigs usually free?"

"There's more production going into this one," Brian told her. "The lounge gave him the option to make it a ticketed event, and we need to make back what we already put into it. So now, it won't be a performance, it'll be Shawn's performance."

Shawn already knew how to make an audience his bitch, but…

"Alright then." Annalise shrugged and then accepted her ticket and receipt from Alessia.

The ticket alone was already quite extravagant. There were little red roses designed around the edges. This boy really loved his fucking flowers.

"I'm guessing rose petals will fall from the ceiling or something?" she guessed with a chuckle.

"I was given strict orders to not spoil anything," Brian told her, folding his arms.

The two had a mini staredown until Annalise shrugged again. "Whatever."

Then, Camila piped up again, suddenly excited. "Ooh, Ann did you hear? Bella Santiago followed Shawn on Twitter!"

"She what?" Annalise stupidly replied.

Camila practically squealed. "She gave him a shoutout too! He's blowing up on Spotify! Isn't that awesome?"

Annalise wanted to say something, but her brain wasn't quite caught up yet. So she just walked away.

The other three students watched her leave. Needless to say, they were confused.

"Is she ever gonna be happy for him?" Alessia wondered.

"I think she was excited?" Camila said tilting her head.

"I can't believe Shawn is going through all this trouble for that," Brian said with a scoff.

"I can still hear you!" Annalise called over her shoulder as she kept walking.

All three of them went red in the face, embarrassed. Brian would have made a comment about her being a vampire with supersonic hearing, but he didn't want to be called out again.

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou  @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @goldenmndes @shawnvvmendes @shawnsunflower @shawmndes @ruinhoney @someoneunimportantxx @calyumthomas @yourdeflightfullyleft @havethetimeeofyourlifee @wronglanemendes @chillingbythesea @softmendesss @mutuallynotmutual

[ofcloudsandstars]

Life Update:

I have been away for a BIT but a lot has happened since then. Aside from some crazy energy shifts (some early spooky spirit-level vibes coming from Pluto coming out of Retrograde on the 3rd) having wild vivid dreams and bizarre experiences, there's some that took the cake and also I needed some time to just be quiet and spend my little free time not chatting to anyone or being online.

Anyway a story I wanted to share is the on going saga with that rich man who spent his years saving and conserving a rain forest in Tanzania. We met on Autumn's Eve to discuss his project he was trying to raise money for. He is going through a lot right now cause it's his second Saturn return and this huge farm he owns in Tanzania that he made a shit ton of money from is falling apart due to climate change and corruption. It turns out this man has dabbled in/has interest in the occult (as all bored white rich people do) and was interested in my craft. He's an American born and raised in Louisiana that moved to NYC for a while to write for a magazine, had some wild experiences with a vodou church there and moved to England when he got married but now has been divorced for like 17 years and is still not over it. Anyway I felt comfortable opening up about my practice and that evening anyway I was going to go to a friend's house to do some autumn eve magic and had some stuff in my bag. So he asked for a tarot reading for insight in his future and we like hang out in Hyde park which is GORGEOUS in fall colors right now and I do a reading for him. This is the beginning of a very long story so if you are interested in reading another episode in my hot mess ass life, get a nice cup of tea and click the read more lol. 

Essentially we can summarize his current life as his job is going through a tower card phase due to saturn return shaking up all that foundations are weak or no longer serving him. He's supposed to resurrect the rainforest conservation project and he already knows this answer deep down inside. I am like cool that's great we connected cause I have been making a lot of friends recently that are getting involved in forest conservation or are buying land to grow forests on with native trees so its cool we created this friendship.  Nice. Now he wants a love reading which I just feel reluctant to do. I already had that feeling you know when someone wants a love reading when they really shouldn't be focusing on that? Its fine though cause Tarot is honest as hell and validates my feelings. He essentially wants someone to distract his current troubles and saturn return lessons to get whisked away in a romance and dump his issues on from the failure of the farm and his divorce of 17 years he's still not over. 

He's still unsatisfied so to placate him I do a lenormand reading of what type of lover could suit him now in his troubling time. Lenormand just shows someone that is ambitious and working in the same field but also a side kick. Cool so you want a cheerleader to support you when you are down that’s nice don't we all. He then says the reading is vague and doesn't everyone want that? And I am like no not at all like for example, I currently don't want any relationship I want to work on myself but if I were to have an ideal relationship I'd love it to be with someone who is a home maker, someone who is emotionally available, who's love language is like smothering me physically with affection, definitely not someone who fucks off for two weeks to months at a time to the other side of the hemisphere, but anyway it’s all hypothetical so it doesn't matter. Anyway with his lack of satisfaction I am like, look sir, next week is the Libra new moon, it's a great time to ask to find a partner that will be a great match in this trying time.

I completely forget that I gave him this information. We smoke a blunt he was keeping in his nifty dressy blazer inner pocket and I go off to see my good Aries witch friend and have an INSANE NIGHT where we nearly BURNT down her fucking apartment in an episode of  ✧ *:・ﾟFire Magic Gone Wrong *:・ﾟ✧. 

I was trying to make some candles for autumn's eve with carved green apples and when I melted the wax we didn't realize how powerful her oven was. Plus my stupid lazy ass left the wick in there. So when we tried to open the oven cause we were smelling the intense smoke, a fucking PLUME of dark smoke would come out BURNING THE SHIT out of our eyes and choke the shit out of us. We tried to open the windows and vents, I tried to quickly pull it out and some wax splashed out and burned the shit out of my leg and arm and I have little burn mark scars now, but with the wick in there with that heat it IGNITED there was a burst of flames coming out, My friend was NOT HAVING IT like imagine an Aries hollerin and a Fire Ablazin and the fire alarm is louder than a fucking rave EDM beat like I was trying to think as clear as possible and see if she had a fire extinguisher she was like: BITCH DO I LOOK LIKE A RESTAURANT TO YOU and so I call the emergency line to get the fire department while she fucking, just, gets a massive fucking cauldron of water and dumps it in the oven and wax is oil so you know what happens when you throw water on flaming oil it fucking EXPLODES so she's like fucking James Bond slow motion running away from a ball of Fire and fortunately the fire is out cause it gets smothered by smoke and water 

...so I am like: Oh thank you mr. police sir but the fire is gone no need to come, but as my friend is still HOLLERIN in full panic mode in the background and the police on the phone still hear her Panic and is like: Uh no we are still coming.. 

Its a bit comical and surreal at this point cause I try to calm my friend down with some water as I air out the apartment and she goes from Hollerin to   q u i e t   real quick when she hears all these LOUD ass sirens. She's like.. Alex.. What are we gonna tell the police when they arrive?? I am like damn bitch why you acting like we did something contraband like its just an oven fire we extinguished it. But she was having that Black Moment of Fear™ like we were two hot mess black witches gonna have the police up in her apartment due to some dumb ass witchcraft gone wrong like I was still trying to be calm but she was like whispering my name like Aleeexx those sirens, they are coming for us!! And I was like oh my god you are panicking they are probably just police cars for something else we are in London shit happens here all the time. 

Anyway the loud sirens just STOP in front of the building and she's like: a l e x... All of a sudden we hear a Bing! And its the fire department outside. We see the windows in the hallway outdoors and this MASSIVE ASS FIRE TRUCK THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING'S WIDTH is just parked there y'all.. The neighbor across the hallway opens her door to see what the fuck is going on and she was not pleased. Since her windows face the street her whole living room looked like a rave disco with red and blue flashing lights she was like what the fuck were you dumbasses doing and my friend is like ohh my god.. 

So next thing we knew there were 5 Fully geared firemen in the apartment and like.. Miraculously with the power of all that is good in the world there is like no sign that there was ever anything that happened?! So the firemen of course were wanting some explanations. Of course they can smell a little bit of smoke but I am like: Oh yeah sorry it was a grease fire gone wrong it was the first time we used this oven but we managed to squash it, it was just overwhelming and we wanted you guys over just in case it escalated. So one fireman is like snooping around for some further answers like: haha cooking sausages usually kicks up a lot of grease, what were you cooking? And my friend who is guilty as hell is like: its just oil but so sorry wejustletitburnintheovensosorryitwasjust and I am like taking the conversation by the horns like: We were trying a recipe to bake the apples over there (yes the ones still hollowed out on the kitchen counter,) but it went wrong. Anyway the firemen noted that there was like no damage ("don't even mention it to your land lord! Haha!" one says) and they just install two fire alarms for free and leave. So me and my friend who are Shaken from this Drama especially when after the firemen left there was no trace of like anything even happening and this all escalated and deescalated in less than an hour so we just scrap any magic we had planned that night and watch The Craft instead. Autumn’s Eve completed..

Ok so I have a blissful and amazing Mabon then a few days pass and I am back at work with the shenanigans of the weekend out of my mind and I get a text from the old rich guy again. He wants me to come over for dinner on Sunday and chat some more about the forest conservation project. I am a bit annoyed as it's Libra new moon but maybe I could balance dinner with him and go home and do some spells (balance, see what I did there? lol.) So I say yes, it's Libra new moon afterall and maybe its nice to make a new friendship revolving around helping the planet.

 He's texting me like: Do you like Oysters? And I am like.. that's so random why Oysters? And he goes on about how he's from Louisiana and he gets homesick so he likes eating them I am like ok I guess.. But he's also like: let me get some Gavi (white wine) and I am starting to get that feeling of unease but I am like: I got to work early the next day so I am not going to drink. He's like ok fine. 

I mention it to some of my coworkers and they are teasing me about how this old man wants to 'play in my rainforest' and it makes me want to gag. Like I am hoping that its a case of me misjudging some man like surely this is a sensible old man that is lonely and just is happy to find a friend that cares about the earth and his project? Anyway Sunday night comes and I am on my way to his house. He lives in some gorgeous townhouse off a main street. The stairwell spirals up the 3 floors of the house with exotic trees growing in between the landings and reaching up through the center of the spiral stairs. There are pictures of artwork he's collected as well as some chameleon named after him in the rain forest in Tanzania as a thankyou to his conservation efforts. I get to the second landing before his kitchen and I hear to my DREAD some fucking jazz music. Oh hell no. I immediately am like: I need to use your toilet. So I go to his immensely large bathroom which also has little trees growing in there in between the large sink and deep teal painted clawed foot tub. I am texting my Aries witch friend cause she lives around the corner like: GURL GET ME THE FUCK!! OUT OF HERE!! and she's like: Oh no baby you's in danger, let me know if you need help. So I gather my strength like: Ok he can't be this delusional especially after the Talk and the Tarot on his lovelife and the fact that he's old enough to be my dad, so let me keep the convo friendly and hopefully this will be a big misunderstanding.

I mean by now you know my fool meter is immensely high, but anwyay I go into his kitchen and I ask him boldly what's the occasion for this dinner? So he skirts the question by saying how he designed his home after stuff in Louisiana that he misses blahblah and stuff from the rainforest I am like: Cool, whats the occasion for this dinner? And he's like: You know, celebrating friendship, you want wine? I don't want wine cause I told him I need to go home early I have to work, and he mentions the spare bedroom on the top floor. I tell him I'm uninterested in staying over even though yes it's conveniently 10 minutes walk from my job but I have house plants to take care of (yeah I use that house plants excuse I don't give a fuck! lol).  Anyway he steers the conversation to the fresh oysters he just shucked. So we are eating oysters, I try not to put any energy on the nature of him eating his oysters and I direct the conversation to how he came about conserving the rainforest, his networking skills and how he raised money to buy that much land and plant millions of trees. I end up gleaning a lot of helpful and not so much helpful info (I mean, it just helps if you are a wealthy well connected white man lmao), and we even talk about other interesting stuff like I get him to talk about how the stock market works, his daily routine at the members club I work at, William Kamkwamba who built the windmill in Malawi from some inspo from library books (his ex brother in law made a film about it which he suggested I stay over to watch with him, which I declined cause of my house plants I needed to get back to at home), his divorce he can't stop talking about cause he's not truly over it. Anyway dinner is nice, we eat some very unseasoned gumbo he made that reminds him of his childhood and throughout the dinner I am doing shielding energy exercises and channeling the power of Saturn to re-affirm my boundaries and practice the glorious power of "No". So with Saturn's channeled influence I am ready to put an end to the night and I am like: thanks for everything I think I'll go now, but before I go should I help with the dishes? He says no cause: It's a one-man show. I ask him to Elaborate, and instead he offers me to get some chocolate so I am like.. ok... 

Anyway he is standing at the other side of his kitchen so I get up to get some and he turns around to embrace me, and y'all... it's a LONG and UNCOMFORTABLE hug complete with 1. back rubbing, 2. neck sniffing, 3. aura invading, so I pull away to ask about what chocolate it is and it's dark chocolate oh god. Anyway this is actually the beginning of the climax of the tension of the night to my foolish self cause this man who is unwillingly ignoring my discomfort has the fucking audacity to ask the question: Do you like dancing? I literally answer him with the same boldness that he asked that question: I hate dancing and never danced in my life. lol. He wasn't taking No for an answer so he decided to be like: Let me show you music I like to dance to. So he puts on some old 70s-esque rock and starts dancing alone in his living room like: Dance with me! I am like No. He says something like: I love dancing it helps to open you up. We all just got to get over our embarrassment and let loose! I am like: Ok I gotta let loose in your toilet again be right back.

So I hide in his bathroom again texting my witch friend like: S.O.S. BITCH let me come over to your apartment and she's like: Oh sorry I am in a party in north London .............. 😭

So I go out to face the mess and he's now trying to get another song I could potentially relate to so he's like: Let me play this song my 13 year old picked out for me.. Great..  Next thing my Ears are hearing is: Mr. Brightside by the Killers and I am dying y'all.. I am over it.. He is taking my laughter as an invitation to get me to dance but now with the full power of Saturn I was like: No. I am going home, I don't feel well, I have been having some kidney issues ("Oh is that why you were always in the bathroom?"- "Yeah that's.. why.. definitely..") and I gotta get up early. So he looks sad. I am like it's ok, we can hang out in the day time, outside of your home next time and talk more about the rainforest conservation. He's like, ok but before you go we have to do this? I am like: Do what?

NEXT THING I KNOW TO MY HORROR I SEE HIM LEAN IN, TAKE MY SIDES AND TRY TO KISS ME AND I AM LIKE: 

NO!!

I Push him away, and FLY down his 3 flights of stairs, spiraling down his house, and he's chasing me like fucking No-Face chasing Chihiro saying: I WASN'T GOING TO PUT MY TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH!! The fact that he said that I could feel my fucking bootyhole clench with dismay. I was mortified. I grabbed my shoes and was like.. see you around I guess (He is a regular at my job lol), and I fly down the street. 

When I get home he texts me if I have a moment for a chat so I am like ok fine why not? He fucking VIDEO CALLS ME and on top of it is eating something fucking nasty and I have misophonia so I am fucking disgusted and I turn off my video (I mean its like modern millenial tech etiquette but video calls are pretty intimate or you have to prepare for them, just springing up a video chat is a bit violating?) and he's like: Oh should I turn off my video too? I don't answer.. so he does..

So he calls to essentially apologize. He admits that I at MANY TIMES have expressed that I was not interested in any relationship other than friendship and that he just wanted a friendly kiss on the mouth and it wasn't supposed to be sexual. Ok... He also says that he doesn't understand why we can't be intimate and be friends.. With my DEAD SILENCE he then fills it like: Ok yeah that's true there is a massive age gap and different comforts with intimacy.. He then admits he has a sexual attraction to me and it would be dishonest to say otherwise but we should still be friends.. I am like: I wouldn't mind being friends but I can't trust someone who doesn't respect my boundaries like I have boundaries. We end with him saying: I understand, you have your boundaries then.. Lol.

Anyway as a blessing I haven't seen him since..

It took me like a full several days later after seeing another witchy friend who asked me about my new moon libra rituals I realized I didn't get to HAVE ANY cause he fucking Eclipsed my night with his bullshittery, that it was actually my fault as I gave him an idea to use that evening to try to find a partner when I did his tarot reading on Autumn Eve but instead he was trying to use all kinds of tricks of seduction for me to be his unwilling cheerleader. Goes to show that a man can spend years of his life planting 16.7 million trees and still be trash lol.

-------

Other than those recent drama episodes not much has happened to me other than some resurfaced trauma and closure from years ago in college that ended a chapter in my life for me once Pluto came out of retrograde. Other mildly exciting news, I also worked my Alchemist friend's bar yesterday on Sunday for a Fungi Fest in Hoxton. (Look up her work she's Mama Xanadu she does cool shit.) She made non-alcoholic cocktails potions with spirits based with roots and herbs like damiana, maca, passion flower etc that makes you feel energized but also mellow (three spirit is one of the partners that work with her their stuff is kind of nice though you do feel like you're drinking some type of brew) and her brews were made from different mushroom infusions like one was a delicious turkeytail brew made with hibiscus and douglas fir and another was with kombucha and seabuckthorn juice and one with a mushroom named amethyst deceiver and hops. She also makes her own essences and made some mushroom essences (like flower essences but with the vibrational influence of mushrooms) to add in there. I met some interesting and Strange people like you do at any alternative spiritualish wholesome event. I met a beautiful boy who is sadly in a relationship that we vibed very hard to the unfortunate dismay of his disgruntled girlfriend and I met a couple from poland who looked like a lost boys vampire couple (one was dressed in a black iridescent latex trenchcoat with one long earring with playing cards attached to it with long hair and his girlfriend had like layers of black scarves and coat like some mori grunge style with a black bowl hat on) who were trying to convince me how MDMA is the same as medicinal mushrooms and that it's its own type of spiritual ritual now. (I was like, sure Jäan..). Now that I have had a moment to like rest and reflect, and accept that I can't save some of my house plants and my life's direction still seems so uncertain and Hot Mess I am like ready to focus on my craft again and interact with my blog lol.

Anyway if you read until the end wow, thanks so much. I hope you had a great new moon.

[purplesurveys]

609

What has been the most annoying thing about your day so far? I had a blood test done for my dog last Friday and they still haven’t updated me about the availability of the results. They really shouldn’t have said “Wait within the day or tomorrow” if they weren’t going to be able to deliver their promise up to THREE days later because it’s just giving me more anxiety.  Is your computer running slow today? (Mine is, and it's annoying!!!!) No. I don’t do a lot of things with mine and it’s especially relaxed now that school’s out for Christmas and the programs I usually have on are now closed. Do you own a romper? Yes, I have a couple. Do you have a smartphone or a dumb phone, or no phone? I have a...smartphone, I guess. What popular social media platforms AREN'T you on? Instagram.

Have you ever spilled nail polish? I don’t think I have, no. What was the last thing you were stressed about? Well, since you got me talking about my dog’s blood test, then that. I’ll also be stressing over my Incomplete marks throughout the holiday break. What does your computer's slow-loading cursor look like? I don’t get it – like what shows up when my laptop kinda lags? It shows me the Mac rainbow pinwheel. Do you prefer Microsoft Word or Pages? I use Google Docs to write class notes and to work on anything acads-related. I used to use Pages, then I realized it didn’t suit me so I moved on to Microsoft OneNote, then it just traumatized me after I tried using it for my notes in Econ class which I barely passed – so I just moved on to GDocs. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? Swimming pool. I have little use for a trampoline. Are you angry at someone right now? Myself, as always. Do you ever dream of getting revenge? It’s an occasional thought just so I feel satisfied but it never gets into specifics. Do you have the same favorite colors you had when you were a kid? Mmm no. My favorite as a kid was purple, because it was my great-grandma’s favorite and a lot of her stuff was purple. When she passed, I saw it less and less and I phased it out as my favorite color. What do you like to put in your tea? I don’t like tea. What do you like to put in smoothies? There’s one smoothie that I admittedly do like; it’s called the Breakfast Smoothie from Go Salads but I dunno what’s in it so let me look it up real quick – ok so I just checked Zomato, and it consists of apple, banana, cinnamon, oats, coco sugar, chia seeds, greens, and soy milk. I don’t make smoothies myself but if I absolutely had no choice, I’d get that specific kind. Do your stuffed animals have names? I don’t even own any stuffed toys. What was the name of the first porcelien doll you got? I never had one. What would you like to paint on a rock? I’ve never thought about painting on a rock. Do you own any tapestries, and if so, what's on it/them? Nope. Do you sell any products? If so, what? No, I don’t. Am really not the business-y/entrepreneurial type, lmao. If not, do you want to start a business? See above. Have your parents ever crushed your dreams? No, they have always been accepting and supportive. Bonus points to my dad for not laughing in my face when I told him I wanted to be a runway model back when I was 12 because I WOULD HAVE. Do you own anything cheetah print? I have a hand-me-down tank top with a cheetah print but I only wear that around the house. Do you know how to knit? No, I never learned how to. We were taught knitting and crocheting in home ec but I have a very hard time learning if it’s hands-on (which also explains why I can’t do origami), so I was never able to catch up with my classmates and never got to submit final projects either. Have you ever made a collage for your bedroom wall? I did like a lettering thing of a quote made up of cut-up magazine pages when I was in high school, but I’m not sure if that counts as a collage. Do you make DIY projects and gifts? No, because I’m terrible at anything DIY. Would you ever get a tattoo? I would but it would take A LOT of courage, crying, and getting over my fear of needles lmao. Is your computer slow? Nope. The one time it noticeably lagged was when I downloaded The Sims 4 and started playing it. I quickly realized it isn’t a gaming laptop though so I had the program deleted almost immediately. What types of churches do you find really boring? All of them. Would you ever start a small group in your home? Uh, like a cult? No, that’s pretty weird. Do you have an inspiration board? No, I don’t. What do you take when your back hurts? I don’t take anything, I just change my position to one where my back won’t feel as strained. Does your back hurt right now? Not so much at the moment. What color are your nails painted? THEY AREN’TTTTTT Are you wearing a romper? I don’t wear rompers around the house lmao. Do you have a colored teddy bear? Nope. On what day is your local grocery store the busiest? I’m guessing Sunday, since everyone usually goes out on Sundays anyway. What day do you usually go grocery shopping? My mom does hers on the weekends.  Do you prefer to shop online or in stores? In stores tbh because I get to see the products before thinking about buying them, but I won’t deny that online shopping is also a lot more convenient. Do you like shopping? Looking through shelves and hangers can be overwhelming for me so no not really, but it does feel good when I’ve already bought everything I want/need haha. Do you own any band t-shirts? Just one.

Do you have an annoying neighbor? They have annoying kids, but no I don’t have issues with the neighbors. Do you have a dream? Sure. Do you own a pair of Lularoe leggings? No. Would you ever wear leggings as pants? I have before. Owls or peacocks? Peacocks, I guess? Lions or horses? Lions. Do you like getting caught in the rain without an umbrella? No. Can you still fit into kid's clothes? Kid’s clothes are hella small so I highly doubt it, but I do have a rather petite figure. Would you rather wear orange or black? Black. Is your kitchen floor black and white checkered? It isn’t. Do you own bar stools? We don’t. Who have you been told you look like? I’ve been told I look and speak like Frankie Pangilinan lmao. I also had a high school classmate who liked telling me I look like Lucy Hale but I haaaaaaardly see the resemblance. What color are your doorknobs? Gold. Do you feel like you are waiting for life to start? Now more than ever, yeah. What devotional do you read, if any? Do you own a bobblehead? Not since I was a kid. What do you make wishes on? Just candles. Do you own pastel-colored jeggings? I don’t own jeggings at all. Are you in physical pain right now? Not anymore since I got my teeth treated. So relieving. Are you in emotional distress right now? Always during the holiday season. What color nail polishes do you think are best for summer? I don’t care. What's the best natural pain reliever? Dogs and good food. Do you like trees? I’m not particularly obsessed but I do care for them, if that’s what you’re asking. Do you own a flashlight? Yeah, I have one in my car that doubles as a taser. What is your city known for? Rice cakes, a waterfall, its resorts, and being on a mountain. What is your state known for? Rizal isn’t particularly known for anything other than being near Metro Manila and large chunks of it being atop a mountain lol. What is your country known for? A murderous president, being in the news for hurricanes and floods, beaches like Palawan and Boracay, and balut, which so many people are pussies about. Do you have a church home? I don’t even know what that means. If the local mailman sent you a facebook friend request, would you accept? No. What's your favorite Paramore song? OMG ARE YOU KIDDING HAVE YOU READ THIS TUMBLR Do you like the song "Fake Happy"? YES Do you tan easily? A bit, yeah. Do you own plaid pants? Nope. What did your first Barbie doll look like? I don’t remember because I didn’t really like playing with Barbies. Do you like scrambled eggs? Love them. They’re my favorite kind of eggs, along with omelets. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? Nope. Have you ever done a craft that you saw in a magazine? I probably did as a kid. What kind of business would you most like to start? Food, most likely. Are you bitter about anything? Aren’t we all. What is your favorite nail polish color? I don’t caaaaare. What is your favorite color for cars? White. What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? Something muted, like dirty white or cream or beige. I don’t want a lot of flashy colors in my wedding. What is your favorite color in general? Right now it’s pastel pink. Do you look good in black? Yes. Do you ever wear orange? Rarely. Do you have a twin? No. If you had a twin, what would he or she be named? I don’t have a clue.

[ohprettyweeper-moved]

Caught on Fire

Part 1

Summary: Josh finally acts on a long-time attraction. Pairing: Josh Dun x Reader Word Count: 1650 Warnings: Firefighting & related danger, hospitals & related scenarios.  A/N: Welcome to my new series! I promise this will be the longest A/N for any chapter! Before you ask, yes, I have selfishly given myself the role of Tyler’s wife with my dream job. It’s fiction so I can do that, right? Oh, and most of these medical situations will be drawn from my own experience working in one of our Level I Trauma Center ERs, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be accurate, and sometimes I’ll stretch it for purposes of the story. I do have a taglist for this, so you’re welcome to ask to be tagged; I feel like I may have forgotten someone for this first part, so if that’s you, just let me know! Anyways. I hope you enjoy it!

Flames lashed out at him from all directions. Smoke was thick in the air, mixing with the oxygen in the building and making breathing a dangerous activity. Some felt claustrophobic in this situation, Josh had heard before. Some felt that impending sense of doom, as if Death himself had come to swallow them up and drag them down into the destruction caused by the fire. 

Not Josh. He loved every minute he spent fighting fires, right down to the second that the only thing remaining of the blaze was glowing embers and smoking piles of ash. He had been born to fight fires, many people in his life had told him over the years. Josh believed that, too, down deep into his soul. 

“Dun! I’ve got a body over here!” 

Josh followed the direction his close friend and fellow firefighter, Tyler, had searched out in the burning home. A man twice their age was in the bed, coughing and sputtering, but not entirely conscious. Josh guessed he had been sleeping when the fire started, and had inhaled too much smoke to get himself out before the fire nearly took his life. 

“C’mon, buddy,” Tyler encouraged, lifting the man off the bed and hulking the older man over his shoulder. “I’ll come back.”

Josh shook his head. “We’re almost done with the search. Take him and the rest of us will be out soon.”

Tyler nodded and headed toward the exit with the old man still slumped over his shoulder. Josh watched his friend hurry out of the house, went back to the quadrant of the house he had agreed to search, then called for the rest of the team to evacuate behind him. 

Before the last man, Zack, could make it out, the ceiling crumbled, blocking out Zack’s escape route. Josh watched from the front walk, running right back into the fiery structure to get to Zack. 

“Where you at, man?” Josh called through the radio. 

“Fell through the floor to the basement,” Zack radioed back. “Trying to find a way back up. Stairs aren’t sturdy enough.”

Back on the porch, Josh called for a rope and other equipment necessary to pull Zack from the basement. “We’ve got to do this quick, and somebody make sure Tyler stays out till we get Zack out.”

Josh had grown up with the Joseph brothers, and Zack was like a brother to him, just as Tyler was. The bond between Tyler and Zack was even stronger though, and Josh couldn’t have his best friend making any risky, irrational moves in an effort to save his brother. 

Mark came in with the equipment, taking post as an anchor for Josh to help Zack get the harness secured in place before pulling Zack up from the basement. The younger Joseph brother was starting to panic, pulling his oxygen mask off in an effort to feel less trapped. The basement ceiling was starting to crumble, threatening the rescue if Zack didn’t do his part soon. 

“Put that mask back on!” Josh ordered. 

Zack shook his head. “I can’t! I can’t breathe!”

“The mask is to help you breathe, idiot! Now come on!”

But Zack shook his head, breathing faster and more shallow with every respiratory cycle. Josh cursed under his breath and turned back to Mark. “He’s hyperventilating. Get a couple more guys in here — not Tyler. We’re going to have to do all the work.”

Two more firefighters rushed in after Mark radioed, taking hold of the rope. They nodded to Josh when they were ready, and he nodded back. 

“All right, on my go,” Josh instructed. He got a good grip on the rope, checked one more time to make sure everyone was in place and ready to get Zack out of that burning basement, then gave the command. “Pull!”

After several good heaves, Zack was up out of the basement. He wasn’t coherent enough to fight Josh re-affixing his oxygen mask over his face, or to argue when Josh lifted Zack over his shoulder to carry him out much like Tyler had done with the old man they had found. 

“Have a bed ready for us, he’s going to need transport,” Josh said into the radio, hoping that Tyler wasn’t in a full-on panic over his brother’s well-being. As it was, the older brother rushed to Josh almost as soon as they were out of the house.

“What’s going on? What the hell happened?” Tyler demanded. “He’s not breathing?”

“He’s breathing,” Josh said, dropping his gear and walking alongside the cot as the medics rolled Zack over to an ambulance. “He panicked and took off his mask for a while. We got him out, he just needs to be checked over.”

“I’m going with them,” Tyler said, attempting to climb into the back of the ambulance. Josh stopped his friend with a hand on his chest. Tyler tried to push past him, but Josh knew it wasn’t going to do any good to have Tyler in the ambulance. 

Josh caught Tyler’s gaze. “You’re panicking, Tyler. You’ll overwhelm the medics, and they need to concentrate on Zack. I’ll travel with them, all right? You meet us at the hospital.”

Tyler nodded, defeated, and backed away as Josh climbed into the back of the ambulance with Zack. The heavy doors shut behind them; Josh gave Tyler a thumb’s up for reassurance as they drove away. 

“I bet Tyler’s a hot mess.”

Josh was leaned against the counter of the nurse’s station, waiting outside the room while the ER team assessed Zack and got him out of his gear and into a gown. He looked beside him to see Y/N, a nurse at the hospital Josh had known for what seemed like forever. She had dated a guy who used to work with Josh and Tyler for a while, until the guy moved away and the relationship ended. Still, she was acquainted well-enough with most of them to understand the gravity of the situation. Josh smirked. 

“Had to convince him to let me ride in the ambulance instead. Surprised you’re not in there.”

Y/N sighed. “Wish I could be, but I’ve got a STEMI we’re about to take up to the cath lab. You gonna be okay?”

Josh nodded. “Oh, yeah. I’m sure I’ll be better when I know what’s up with Zack — he took off his mask when he panicked. More worried about smoke inhalation than anything.”

“That’s a legitimate concern,” Y/N nodded. She nudged him with her elbow. “The Joseph boys are that easily knocked out, Dun. Zack’ll be fine. You’re more likely to have problems with Tyler having an anxiety attack or barking at one of the nurses or techs.”

Josh managed a laugh. “You’re right about that.”

“Y/N, we’re rolling,” another nurse called, grabbing some extra supplies from a nearby IV box. 

Y/N nodded to her colleague, then looked back to Josh. “Duty calls. Update me on Zack when you can. I’ll be back down in a while.”

Josh thanked her and watched as she jogged over to the STEMI patient’s room. She winked at Josh as they rolled the bed toward the elevators, and he returned with a smile. He watched after her as she went, wondering why he hadn’t ever taken the time to get to know her better than as a mere acquaintance. 

Hours later, Josh was still in the ER with Tyler, Zack, and their parents. Though he hadn’t been unmasked for long, the degree of damage the smoke inhalation had done was enough for the attending doctor to intubate Zack, to prevent potential problems caused by swelling of the young man’s irritated airway. Zack would spend a couple of days monitored in the ICU, and a more certain, detailed treatment plan would be developed from there. Barring any complications, however, everyone assured the Joseph family that Zack was going to be just fine. 

“You look a little tired.”

Again, Y/N’s presence sort of caught Josh by surprise, but he didn’t mind. He took the coffee she offered with a grateful smile. “Yeah, I am. But I’m not going to leave until Tyler’s wife gets here.”

Y/N nodded. “How is Nicole?”

Josh sipped at his coffee. “That’s right, I forgot you knew her when they were still dating. She’s great — speaking at a trauma conference this week, but she’s on a flight back, now. I’m not sure she’s even gotten our messages yet about Zack.”

“I’m sure she’ll be here as soon as she does. Probably before she even gets home,” Y/N guessed. “My shift is about over. Can I do anything else for you before I go?”

“Nah, I’m all right. Thanks, though.”

With a tired smile of her own, Y/N gave him a little wave before leaving the room. On a whim, Josh got up and followed her, catching her just past the nurse’s station. He could feel the blush creeping up his neck and into his cheeks. 

Josh had to clear his throat before he could speak. “Do you want to get together sometime? Maybe for coffee that’s better than hospital cafeteria coffee?”

Y/N frowned. “Josh, I made that coffee.”

He winced. “Oh, well, I didn’t mean the coffee that you brought me in particular —”

“I’m teasing you,” she laughed. “I’d really like it if we met up sometime. You have my number.”

“I do. I’ll talk to you soon, after we’ve both had a chance to sleep.”

“Perfect,” Y/N smiled.

They shared a quick, friendly hug before she continued on her path to the nurse’s lounge before clocking out. Josh stood rooted to the spot for a moment, glad that he had worked up the courage to ask her out, but wondering how he would get any sleep with this kind of excitement brewing, waking all of his nerves. 

Tags: @takenvysleep @faceofcontvsions @svintsandghosts @adversaryproject 

[nikatyler]

Today has been frustrating. That’s all I’m going to say. Well, it started off nicely, I did something I was proud of. Then it went kinda downhill. I’m probably going to make it even worse as soon as I post this...there’s this thing I’ve been thinking about for the past few days. Considering I’m soooo good at communication and expressing my feelings, it’s going to end up great, you can bet.

Sarcasm aside, let’s talk about my legacies: 

I just queued the rest of part one of Gen 6! It’ll run for like 40 more days though.

After that, I’ll finally post the first generation of my BPR, almost a year after starting it. I know what you’re thinking, I’ve been posting TS3 for months, I should switch back to TS4 now, it would be fair, and yes, I thought about that too. But I kinda really want to get rid of the BPR. Gen 1 is finished and I don’t want to keep it to myself anymore.

As for gen 3 of NSB, I haven’t been playing it too much recently. I’ll play it a lot in June though, I hope. As soon as the exam chaos is over.

I’ve also made some decisions about Roses, but I’ll talk about these later. There’s still a high chance I’ll change my mind.

Besides, when do I not make decisions about Roses? They’re on my mind way too often. It can’t be healthy.

Update: I’m still not done with my replies but I just got a message from my teacher, saying that I did well on the English writing exam! I don’t know the exact grade but yay me. I mean, I knew I was going to do well on this one, but finally seeing I passed feels much nicer than “oh yeah, I’m confident about my English, there’s no way I can fail”. The way this exam system works...I was worried it wouldn’t scan properly or some crap. In the past, people had problems with that.

Update 2: Still writing the replies but I just found out that apparently I got 100% on the exam. Holyyyyy crap.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Courtney: I really married this idiot. I’m stuck with him forever. Oh...”

Don't worry it could be worse. It could be Ross for example (sorry, not sorry��)

Ooooooh. Yeah I mean, what Felix does is kinda natural, what Ross does (or used to do)...is just wrong.

sparkiemonkey replied to your photo “I have three weeks to learn everything for my last exams. Am I dying...”

Good luck with your exams. You can do it.

Thank youu! I hope so. I feel like I still remember nothing from the notes, but at the same time, when I read some of them, I’m like “duh, I’ve heard this a million times, of course I know what it is!”

desira-sims replied to your photo “I have three weeks to learn everything for my last exams. Am I dying...”

If it makes you feel better, I’m constantly rethinking how I should have posted my story too. I think it’s why I’m enjoying doing these mini photo shoots for Gen 2. It’s glimpses into their life that I didn’t fully express in my story.

I feel like everyone does this, they get great ideas when it’s too late to change it. Some people are just better at moving on, I guess. Not that I want to move on from gen 4, nope.

justkeeponsimming replied to your photoset “Let’s see what we have down here…”

The lighting in this shot is gorgeous!

It is! Isla Paradiso underwater is amazing. I wish there were more diving spots though.

deathflowertea replied to your photoset “It’s getting dark so fast. This should be a quick dive, or else…well,...”

this is how midnight sun challenges start...

Imagine if I did that. I love this idea.

dreamsongsims replied to your photoset “Houston we have a problem I forgot Isla Paradiso is a glitchy mess”

Yes. Yes it is. All that work to get to a dive spot and BOOM! Right back to shore.

It’s frustrating that it’ll most likely never get fixed :/

astraeanevermore replied to your photo “10 Day Self Sim CAS Challenge: You At Another Age Kind of based on an...”

I also got an ugly haircut with ugly blonde streaks when I was 15 :’D guess that’s a 15 years old thing? XD Anyway, love the pic! *O*

It might be?? And it wasn’t even a good blonde. In many photos, it just looks yellow, sometimes even a little green. But hey, I learned from my mistakes, now I’m never going blonde :D

And thank youu! ♥

justkeeponsimming replied to your photoset “I love this…wait, it seriously take me a whole day to get here?!”...”

most adorable screenshots ever! her expression is so cute!

She makes the best faces, I love her ♥

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “I was going to make a comment about her work outfit, saying the...”

The alien powers from Miracle are resurfacing lol

I mean, DNA is weird, sooo... 👀

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Me during the first part of Game of Thrones Season 8 Episode 4 vs me...”

Haha a BIG mood

Biggest mood

I thought episode 4 fucked me up...but then episode 5 came and...let’s just say ep 4 was alright compared to this.

twistedsim replied to your post “Well that was an amazing surprise! ������”

Shit! I just now saw the score. XD Damn, you whooped Sweden's ass!

Usually it’s the other way around :D Yeah, it was great to watch. I was expecting to be disappointed but not surprised, but actually...if I’m not mistaken, that’s our best score with Sweden ever. And then with Norway, we did great too...too bad we lost with Russia today. There were so many chances and not a single goal...but oh well, it’s just one game. It doesn’t mean anything. I hope.

flowerhoneysims replied to your photoset “I was just kidding I don’t actually want her to die jkahdkfahdflg”

My diver died because of a shark ;-;

Oh nooo ;-;

create-a-sim replied to your photoset “Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck was that a shark?? A SHARK??? I’m gonna die I’m...”

Ohhh :(

This was actually a funny moment. I thought “Awesome, her mother died in a fire, she’s going to be eaten by shark and who’s there to save their ass with a ‘quit without saving’ button? Me again! Maybe they’re telling me I should stop playing this legacy.”

But then she wasn’t actually killed by a shark. Phew.

desira-sims replied to your photo “10 Day Self Sim CAS Challenge: Date Night Bold of you to assume I’ve...”

I love this dress. ��

Me too! And I never use it for some reason. I wish I had something like this irl.

desira-sims replied to your post “So…I took a break from studying to watch the latest episode of Game of...”

I haven't watched this season yet. �� I keep saying I'm gonna sit down and binge it, but haven't done it. Maybe I'll do that Wednesday.

Oooh, I’m not sure if I would be able to binge watch it. Every episode left me feeling overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions, doesn’t matter if they were negative or positive. Actually, I don’t think this season is as bad as so many people online say...it’s not perfect but nothing is. 🤷‍♀️

Then again, speaking of binge watching, I was able to watch the previous seven seasons in less than a month last year, so maybe it is possible.

plumbobhart replied to your post “So…I took a break from studying to watch the latest episode of Game of...”

I hated it sooo... yay? D:

I’m not sure how I felt about it. Like I’ve said already in this post, today has been frustrating and this episode contributed to that. There were some things that bothered me, some decisions that bothered me, oh and there was a great example of character development going to hell (that really disappointed me tbh), but overall...idk, I guess I still kinda enjoyed it - I mean, as much as one can enjoy this tv show. It was brutal.

I’m not going to talk about it all in depth though, I could spend whole evening with that and I don’t want that haha :D

[raeofalbion]

ETA - June ‘19 Edition

Wow, I haven't done one of these since last October, wtf me. Anyway. The momentary return of the least appropriately named part of this blog just to give a brief overview of what’s going on. -sad confetti canon-

Blackout - I’m gonna aim for 2 - 3 chapters being posted before July cuz I’ve been really shitty about updating this year and I’m really sorry about that. Given the fic is done and edited and all I really have to do is check formatting and typos and fix last minute changes, it just feels really inexcusable to me that I’ve let myself get so far behind. So I’m gonna try to do a little bit better.

ACoIaS - on hiatus still. As I said at the end of last year, I’m on a slight break from Fable (other than Blackout) to avoid burn out and also just to keep from stagnating so much when I get back to it. But if I’m feeling very Fable-y come November, I’ll probably finish up at least the first part during that NaNo. If not November, then next April’s NaNo. I haven’t lost interest, it’s not abandoned, I still like it and I have the entire fic outlined (and most of the second outlined, as well), I just need to take a little break and eventually write it.

Gothic Horror AU - I’m having a hard time figuring out my conclusion to this which is keeping me from making good progress, but I’m planning on returning to it next month and maybe I’ll make some progress. We’ll see.

Shorts & One Shots - I’ve got a handful of one shots started; can’t really go into detail because I’ve just got so many in progress things that it’d be impractical to list them all here (unless y’all really want a super long list here? Idk, I need to redo my In Progress page so maybe I’ll do that there). But I’ve got the next two of the Numbers fics (Three and Five) started and a few other things I know I’ve talked about (the robot fic, anyone?) so still poking slowly away at those. I’m hoping to get a few done soon.

- The Noir AU (& Other Sherlock Fic Ideas) - I know I mentioned plotting this out, but I wanted to put this to a majority vote: would you like me to prioritise this, or any other bigger Sherlock ideas I’ve mentioned, over the Gothic Horror AU? Because I have a lot of interest in a lot of those ideas, but I’m trying to keep an eye on not doing too much at once. So, quick summaries: * Gothic Horror AU is focused around a case that begins about a month after TEH and also deals with questioning reality, repressed trauma, and possibly actual ghosts. Sheriarty, but the ship’s very much background except where it nudges against the main plot. * Noir AU is very trope heavy, but very much on purpose--a noir retelling of various episodes and ACD’s stories, but Sherlock’s actually aware of what all the tropes are and mean and no one else is (so it can get a little cracky and a little dark, but mainly intended to be fun). Ship tags for Adlock, Sheriarty, and Warstan which will all impact the plots in various ways, though the retellings will, of course, be the focus. * That (Probably Sad) Very Gay Victorian Fae AU...which I’ll just link to here. The only problem with this idea is how much research I’ll have to do. Not for big things, I’ve researched a lot of the big things for other projects and for fun, but for all the little things that will need a lot of looking into. So idk. * Writer AU which is best detailed here. If you’ve read MoI (which I doubt unless I’ve discovered some Sherlock fans who also like Fable?), I’m thinking that level of balance between shippy stuff and plot? But yeah, those are the main big ideas. If anyone has one they’d really like me to prioritise, lemme know cuz it really helps to know what readers are into. <3

Prompts - Not listing for practicality’s sake, but I’m prioritising the most recent ones and making decent, if slow, progress. I’ve also shelved a couple dozen really, really old prompts (like verging on 3 yrs old) that didn’t have ships/characters in the ask. Or that I’ve lost the ask for. Or, worst of all, have characters but don’t have what prompt it’s for added to them (which, LOL, good luck me figuring out which prompt list that’s for 3 years later). It’s actually a really weird relief to shelve those? Feels a little less overwhelming. Still a lot to do, but with time, right?

Some personal stuff below the cut.

I don’t usually do personal stuff on etas, but I figure y’all should know why I’ve been so slow writing lately. I’ve never tried to hide that I’ve got pretty severe depression and BPD on top of that, both of which have been complete assholes lately. Unfortunately, I also get really badly heatsick and my depression is worse in the summer so, now that summer’s happening in full, I’ve been feeling just...bad. Also physically bad in a way that suggests I really need to see a doctor, but, every time I’ve brought up these symptoms to my doctor, he’s shrugged them off, told me to lose weight (and to basically cut my calorie and carb intake down to nearly nothing which...doesn’t work and is a horrible thing to tell someone, so fuck you, doc), and then did nothing. And he seems to be the norm, attitude-wise, for doctors in the area. So I don’t really know what to do that’s practical in my current circumstances. But I’m pissed off it’s affecting things I enjoy and it’s just...ugh. I’m tired. I’m really tired. I want to enjoy my writing and my gaming and all that the way I used to but it just kinda feels hopeless at times. Gotta keep at it, I guess, but fuck if it’s just mentally and emotionally exhausting.

[ladynonsense]

Clanless (Bloodbound AU) Chapter 5: Something Else

Catch up on my masterlist

It’s been a long time since I updated this series, so a quick recap if you don’t feel like reading parts 1-4 again: Chloe didn’t get the job at Raines Corp, she worked for The Baron instead but he turned her for reasons that aren’t yet clear. Jax rescued her and brought her into the fold of the Clanless. When The Baron came looking for her, they ended up killing him in her apartment and then fled with Lily (who is not a vampire). That should more or less catch you up :)

Pairing: Jax x MC (Chloe) 

Warnings: Violence, blood, gore, a scarier side of Jax 

Words: 2800

Summary: Chloe helps Lily get back to her normal life, but returns to a very angry and frightened Jax

Series Tags: @teamtomsato @walkerismychoice @sirbeepsalot @boneandfur @lizeboredom @jlouise88 @choicesarehard 

Permatags: @choiceslife @blackcoffee85 @debramcg1106 @brightpinkpeppercorn

Chloe woke up in Jax’s bed, curled around Lily. She had no idea how much time had passed since she’d fallen asleep; her dreams had been intense and abstract, shifting scenery and sensations that never quite oriented themselves to any sort of narrative. She didn’t feel as though she’d rested, but she didn’t feel like she needed rest, either.

Carefully she inched away from Lily and slid off the mattress to sit cross-legged on the floor. The only light was a small battery-powered lantern by the door, the kind she used to take camping as a girl scout. Jax was nowhere to be seen, not yet returned from the business he said he had to attend to. Chloe felt a warmth rise through her body as she remembered what they’d done in the dark before he left, the way every little touch from him had overwhelmed her body like an electric shock, the way his blood had tasted like honey in her mouth and his voice, god, that voice, the way his cries of pleasure had echoed in the small, quiet room…

She snapped back to reality, realizing she was breathing heavily and sweat was beading on her forehead.

Vampire feelings were going to take some getting used to.

“Chlo?”

She turned to see Lily groggily sitting up under the blankets, squinting at her without her glasses. “Hey Lil, how’d you sleep?” She spotted Lily’s glasses lying on the ground and handed them to her.

She yawned and stretched, eyes scanning the dim, spartan space. “Not bad I guess. Some nightmares.”

“Yeah,” Chloe whispered, guilt weighing heavily on her. “Lily, I’m so sorry I got you involved in all of this.”

“What? No!” Lily scooted to the edge of the mattress so she could wrap her arms around Chloe, hugging her tightly. “This is happening to you, Chlo. Don’t apologize to me. I just want to help you, in any way I can.”

“Aw, Lil.” She hugged her back, trying to ignore the annoying stirring of different hungers within her at the feel of a warm human body against hers. “You mean the world to me, but you deserve to get back to your life.”

“But so do you.”

Chloe frowned. “Honestly, there’s nothing out there for me except for you. And it’s safer for me here. And...for you. I don’t know what I’m capable of, or what I could become…”

“Chloe. You’re still you. I trust you.”

She pulled away, standing and distancing herself. Lily’s smile fell, and Chloe realized that her fangs were out. “I don’t know what I am anymore, but it’s not who I was...and I don’t trust myself.”

Lily bit her lip, looking like she might cry. “So you’re staying. Here, underground, with this Jax guy.”

Chloe shrugged, allowing herself a small smile. “I mean, at least he’s cute, right?”

Lily stood in front of Chloe, pulling her back into her arms. “He’s like, offensively attractive, yes. But how do you know you can trust him?”

“I don’t,” she answered plainly, “but what else am I supposed to do?”

Lily didn’t answer, still clinging to Chloe, burying her face against her neck.

“Lil...do you have somewhere you can stay, other than the apartment? Until we know it’s safe to go back there?”

“Um…” she wiped at her tear-filled eyes. “I have a friend I could stay with, probably. Josh.”

Chloe cringed. “Josh? Is he a creep?”

Lily shrugged. “He’s like, the normal degree of creep. Manageable creep.”

“I feel like your standards for sleeping at somebody’s place should be higher than ‘manageable creep.’ What about Melanie?”

She shook her head, avoiding Chloe’s eyes. “No, I don’t think so.”

“Everything OK?”

“I dunno. Not OK enough for me to show up at her doorstep out of the blue.”

“Ugh, so, manageably creepy Josh then. Is it close?”

“Totally. Walkable, I think.”

Chloe nodded, not happy about the idea but also not having any better suggestions. Lily needed to be back above ground; she needed to get back to her job and her friends and her life. “Can I walk you there, then? Just to be sure?”

“I’d like that.”

The Shadow Den was surprisingly quiet as they made there way back to the tunnels that led to the city above. “I guess vampires sleep after all,” Lily noted as they slipped away unnoticed.

“Looks that way.” They found their way back to the alley with the hidden entrance, glancing around nervously to make sure they weren’t alerting anyone to the location. “Hey, want to grab a coffee?”

Lily’s face lit up. “Definitely. There’s a place just around the corner here.”

“Perfect.”

They stopped for a cup of barely-drinkable cappuccino from a cheap donut shop, sitting and trading stories and idle chit chat that didn’t involve vampires or ferals or murderous gangsters. They lingered in the shop for over an hour before finishing the walk to Manageably Creepy Josh’s place, where Chloe hugged Lily fiercely outside the apartment building’s door. “If he hurts you, I’ll kill him. For real.”

Lily laughed nervously. “I don’t doubt it, Vampire Bestie. I’ll be fine, OK? Just worry about yourself. Stay safe. Please.”

Chloe nodded. “I will. Stay in touch, OK? My phone’s dead now but I’m sure someone down there has a charger or something. I’ll figure it out.”

“Of course. Don’t be a stranger.”

Chloe walked back slowly, enjoying the feeling of normalcy after all the chaos of the past 36 hours. She returned to the shadow den feeling surprisingly light, eagerly looking for Jax.

He was in his room when she returned to it. “Chloe! I couldn’t find you anywhere! Are you OK? Where’s Lily?”

She laughed at his over-concern. “Relax, dude. I was just walking her home. Or, to her friend’s place, anyway.”

“Her friend’s place? What do you mean?”

“His apartment?”

“Above ground?”

“Where else would it be?”

Jax’s concern hardened into a scowl. “Fine. I’m not sure why you feel the need to lie to me, but I guess that’s your prerogative.”

Chloe felt her new-found temper rising to the surface again. “What the hell is your problem? I don’t appreciate being called a liar.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t appreciate being lied to.” He turned away from her but she grabbed his arm and spun him back around, furious.

“Seriously, what the hell is your problem?”

He glared at her for a moment, eyes burning red, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. He held it up to her face, the lock screen showing. “This is my problem!”

She stared at the lock screen, puzzled. His wallpaper was just the default abstract pattern that came with the phone. There were no notifications. “Um...what are you trying to show me?”

He tapped at the phone’s screen angrily. “The time, Chloe! It’s 11:00 am!”

“So? I was gone for a couple hours, sue me.”

He stared at her, mouth agape. “Are you seriously not seeing the problem with your story here?”

“Since my story is the truth, no, I don’t see a problem with it.”

“Chloe…” he laid a hand on her shoulder briefly but flinched away, staring at his own hand in confusion.

“What? Why are you being so weird?”

“I didn’t think I needed to tell you that you can’t go out in the daytime. The sun...it’s fatal to us.”

Chloe’s eyes went wide with panic. “What do you mean? What’s going to happen to me?”

He held out his hand again, studying it. Chloe watched as the burn on his palm quickly healed. “You...you really went outside? For hours?”

“I mean, we were indoors for maybe half of that but...yeah. What’s going to happen to me?”

He stepped closer, studying her face but not touching her. “You should’ve burned to death within minutes.”

She laughed, but it came out as a kind of hysterical cackle. “I felt fine. Great, in fact. Are you sure…”

He held out a hand, hovering an inch from her skin, marvelling at the heat radiating off of her. “What are you?” He asked, his voice quiet and shaky.

Her body was not under her own control as her hands reached out and grabbed him by both sides of his head, lifting him a few inches off the ground. A voice bellowed out from somewhere deep within her, loud enough to be heard over Jax’s anguished screams as his skin burned away under her hands. “I AM…”

Jax kicked out her knee hard enough to make her legs buckle out from underneath her, the two of them collapsing next to each other on the floor. He scrambled backwards, his face and ears covered in burns that blistered and healed as he caught his breath. She stared at him in horror, trying to comprehend what had just happened...how she had hurt him so badly.

“Jax, I...that wasn’t…”

He was already across the room, grabbing his sword off the wall.

“I’m so sorry,” she croaked, tears flowing down her face and boiling into steam on her skin. “Please don’t leave me. Please...what is happening to me?”

He knelt in front of her, his expression softening as his skin continued to heal. He set the sword down just out of her reach but within his own. “I don’t know what’s happening to you. But you just attacked me.”

She shook her head frantically. “It wasn’t me. I would never...I wasn’t in control. It was like something took over.”

He continued to silently study her face for a long moment before giving a small nod. “OK. I’ll help you.”

She breathed a sigh of relief, trying to get her quiet sobs under control.

“I have some rules.”

She frowned, meeting his eyes again. “Rules?”

“You don’t go anywhere without me.”

“OK. That’s fine.”

“And you especially don’t go out in the sun. Ever.”

“Fine.”

“And...I think you should feed off of Lily. Primarily.”

“What? Why?”

He finally met her eyes as he answered. “She knows what you are. She already knows the location here. And feeding off of someone you were close to before you were turned...it can help.”

“Help what?”

He looked at her sadly, biting his lip. “Help you not to turn feral.”

A cold dread settled in her chest. “Is that what this is? I’m turning?”

“No...I don’t think so. I’ve seen people turn. Too many. But this is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. Still...we should be cautious.”

She nodded in agreement but the feeling of dread didn’t lift at all. “I’ll ask her. Tomorrow. Is that alright?”

“Yes, that’s fine.” He kept staring at her, brow furrowed and sadness in his eyes. For the first time she felt uncomfortable under his gaze. Her own eyes moved to his sword, still at the ready.

“Can you not…”

He followed her gaze and frowned. “I don’t want you to feel threatened, but I can’t trust that...whatever that was...won’t come back.”

“And if it does, what then? You’re going to cut my head off?”

He winced. “Chloe…”

“Promise me you won’t hurt me.”

He looked at the ground, silent for far too long. “I’ll do what I have to do to keep my people safe.”

Her tears were back, her voice choked with sobs as she pleaded with him. “Jax please, no, just tell me you won’t hurt me. Please...”

He picked up the katana, rising to his feet. “Chloe...you need to calm down.”

She jumped to her feet, backing away from him. “Get away from me.”

“Chloe. Take a deep breath, OK? Try to relax.” He held one hand out towards her, but the other still held his katana, ready to strike.

She kept backing towards the door. “I’m leaving.”

He advanced towards her, closing the distance. “We agreed you would stay with me.”

She turned and ran for the door, moving fast enough to reach it in an instant...but so did he. “Let me go,” she pleaded through sobs. “Please let me go!” He didn’t reach for her, and she remembered that he wouldn’t touch her. Not while her skin was burning hot. She opened the door and backed into the corridor, staring him down defiantly.

His expression hardened as he lifted the katana, ready to fight, his eyes burning red now. “I said STOP!”

As her terror boiled over inside her, the world seemed to disappear in a flash of white.

And then darkness.