#yeah it’s not looking good for you buddy

[threebea]

I need to write an AU where Obi-Wan works at Dex's diner maybe during the Imperial era and Clark Kenting it. Shaved his beard and wears glasses or some other low level cosmetic thing.

Patron: wow has anyone ever told you that you look like Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi?

Obi-Wan: oh yes, after betraying the Republic I got hired at a diner in cocotown since it was the only job I could get after becoming an enemy of the state. I'm afraid I'll have to beg for your silence on the matter.

Patron: haha can you imagine? Anyway I'll have the shake and fries.

⭐

Clone Trooper: hey doesn't that guy look like General Kenobi?

Clone Trooper Buddy: no he looks completely different. He has no facial hair, he has glasses, he has tattoos. General didn't look like that.

Third Clone Troopers: it's so hard to tell them apart.

Clone Trooper Buddy: besides with the amount of businesses that legally are allowed not to serve us you think the one that had General Kenobi working for them would let us in?

Clone Trooper: ugh good point.

Regular: Ben is nice Dex, but he's kind of clumsy. (Winces as a bunch of plates shatter in background)

Stormtroopers on leave tense and look over at the middle aged man profusely apologising, they turn back to their nerfburgers.

Dex: Ben means well and he's got a kid to look after you know? Besides he's gotten way better than he was before!

CRASH

Stormtrooper: do you know how hard it is to get space mustard off armour!?

Ben: I am so sorry 😭 please let me help you.

Regular: you're a good guy Dex (shakes head)

Later:

Dex: pal you gotta bring it down with the clumsy act. I can't afford this many dishes.

'Ben': you're only mad you didn't see their faces.

Dex: well that's also true. Steal anything good?

Ben: copied a few passcodes. They were gossiping about their next station. I'll put it on a drive and you can sell it.

Dex: I'll send a copy to Organa too. Never know when it might come in handy.

Stormtrooper: I need to see your identification citizen.

'Ben' completely unconcerned: of course! Ben Kenobi (hands over very good fake id)

Stormtrooper: (stares at him) wow that's rough. Do you get hassled? You related or something?

'Ben': hassled? Oh! Perhaps a bit in the beginning, but not as much now. I thought about changing my name, but updating ID now is so complicated.

Stormtrooper: tell me about it. I got married and it was a whole thing.

'Ben': exactly! Who has the time for the line up at a Service Corscant? I find being straightforward is the best way to go about it. I'm not even related, just the same Stewjoni last name and similar build. The name is what really makes people think I look like him.

Stormtrooper: yeah I wouldn't have even thought about it. Anyway you're clear. Have a good day.

Ben: you too! 😊 (Smiles as he walks away with a bag of weapons the Stormtrooper didn't bother to check)

[wonderjanga]

Yous an Old Bitch

It was about normal day, and Marvel was being interviewed. It was a fairly normal interview. The reporter was asking normal questions and the topic of his age came up. Somehow, after more talking, he for some reason dropped this line:

Marvel: “Listen, if something has a lightning bolt like mine, I probably either made it, or someone inspired it off of me.”

This single line led to a manhunt, looking for items with the bolt. Museums have never been richer.

Person 1: “Did you make this?” *shoves their phone into his face*

Marvel: *pushes the phone away so he can get a better look* “No, it was made for me.” *staring at the photo of an unfinished statue*

Person 1: *enraptured* “Please explain.”

Marvel: “Well, it was a really hot day, and the sculptor guy was taking forever. So like halfway through, I flew out the window and just decided to avoid the sculptor guy. The guy died before he could finish my thing. That’s why the statue isn’t done!”

Someone videoed this and after seeing this, many more people worked up the courage to ask him about their finds.

Person 2: “Captain Marvel, did you make this?” *shows him a photo of a really beat up piece of metal that had a tiny lightning bolt*

Marvel: “Yes actually! That was my first actually good piece of metal work.”

Person 2: “You can do metalwork?”

Marvel: “Yup!”

Person 2: “What was it originally?”

Marvel: *nostalgic* “It was kinda like a tiara only this was before tiaras were things.”

Person 2: “Was it pretty?”

Marvel: “Of course!” *sounds proud* “In fact, it was so pretty that if it were up to me, I’d march right into that museum and restore it with some magic! Though I don’t think the museum would let me.”

Person 2: “Wait, who was it for?”

Marvel: “My wife!”

Person 2: “Huh?”

News that he had a wife spread like wildfire.

or

Person 3: “Did you make the newly discovered cave paintings in China?”

Marvel: “What cave paintings?”

Person 3: *shows him a photo*

Marvel: “Oh. Yeah! Me and a buddy were messing around there. See those symbols?” *points to some symbols*

Person 3: *nods head*

Marvel: “See, that was our language from back then and it basically says that the chief of our tribe sucked. In short, teenage caveman vandalism, only we weren’t teenagers.” *looks nostalgic* “Man, those were good times… I mean, sure, we got stoned to death for that, but still!”

Person 3: *horrified and intrigued*

Also FUCK ME because I had to rewrite this THREE FUCKING TIMES because it DIDNT SAVE. WHATEVER IS UP THERE DOESNT WANT ME TO GO BACK TO MY NORMAL POSTING SCHEDULE. THIS SHIT SHOULDVE BEEN OUT TWO HOURS AGO.

[daddyissuesbecauseofhotch]

Daddy issues || #4

{masterlist}

You can’t help yourself, you simply have to see what Aaron’s like when he puts his son to bed. Does he read him a bedtime story? Do they talk about something? Does he kiss his forehead before tucking him in? The idea of him being the sweetest father, maybe as kind and caring as your own was, melts your heart. He’s already in the perfect category in your eyes, but if you’ll like what you see, you’ll have to create a brand new category just for him.

While you’ve never really thought about kids, being too busy attending parties almost every weekend, and sometimes during the weekdays if it was hard to decline an invitation, now you suddenly find yourself wondering what it would be like to take care of one. At this very moment, it’s not just any child in your mind. It’s Jack. He’s young, he could probably get used to the idea of having you around, and he seems to be a really good kid.

Letting out a dreamy sigh, you lean against the doorframe with your shoulder, your hands comfortably tucked into the pocket of the hoodie, and watch the bedtime ritual with curious eyes. Jack is aware of you being there, he keeps whispering something to his father while he’s glancing at you over and over again, and his father whispers back with a quiet chuckle. But then the boy yawns and falls back on his back, which prompts Aaron to pull the blanket up to his neck and lean down to kiss his forehead.

“Sleep tight, buddy,” he tells him softly before standing up to leave the room.

Without thinking, you take a few steps back so he can close the door, but when he stands toe to toe with you in the hallway, you lose contact with the filter between your brain and mouth. How could you think properly when he’s looking down at you with those brown eyes you want to drown in, watching you with that boyish smirk that makes your heart race?

So, you speak up and spit out something you should have kept to yourself. “How can something sweet like this be also hot as hell?” you ask him quietly, your breath hitching when he lets out a soft laugh. “That’s not funny.”

He shakes his head, the smile still present on his lips. “Actually, it is pretty funny. Come on, I have some really good wine waiting for us.”

Nodding, you follow him to the kitchen, but when you get there, he immediately cages you between himself and the counter. Your eyes are as big as saucers from the surprise, but you can only gulp since no words come to your mind. Deep down you know you should ask him what he’s doing, what the plan is, but you can’t get the words out. You’ve gone home with guys you barely knew before, one-night stands are nothing new to you sadly, but Aaron? You want to take it slow, you want to get to know him, but it’s clear he has a different idea.

Maybe for the first time in your life you want something real, a proper relationship that might be able to domesticate you, and you can feel that he’s the perfect candidate for that. Being with him would give you an instant family, though, you would find yourself in the role of a stepmom if things turned serious enough, and you’re terrified of that. What if Jack wouldn’t accept you? What if you fuck something up and end up hurting one of them?

“Hey,” he says quietly as he grabs your chin to make you look at him. “What’s wrong?”

Let’s see, you’re already daydreaming about a relationship that might never even happen. Yeah, right, he would escort you out of the apartment in a second. “Nothing, I’m just glad to see how happy your son is,” you reply, telling him a teeny tiny part of the truth.

A proud smile appears on his lips as he watches you, his gaze shifting down to your lips for a millisecond. Every fiber in your body is screaming at you to make the first move, to close the gap and kiss him, but your mind holds you back, telling you that it’s not the right time to be bold. Let him work for your attention, let him show you what exactly he wants. There’s no need to act like you do with guys your age.

Aaron leans close enough that you can feel his hot breath on your face when he exhales, but he doesn’t say anything, not even when he moves his hand from your chin to the side of your neck. How did he have the audacity to call you a tease when he’s doing things like that?

“You feel it too, don’t you?” he asks quietly, his thumb gently stroking your soft skin. When you give him a confused look, he shakes his head slightly. “The pull every time we’re close to each other. I can’t explain it, it’s just–”

“There,” you finish, finally understanding what he meant.

This pull, this attraction, this gravitational field is so strong that it’s impossible not to notice or choose to ignore it. Aaron knows that, you know that, and now maybe it’s time to explore what it means. He nods upon hearing the word you said out loud, but he remains silent, he just keeps watching you, analyzing you. During dinner, whenever Jack gave him a moment to talk, he told you about his job as a profiler, so now you feel like you’re being studied under a microscope.

Suddenly, he decides to knock you out of the depths of your thoughts by lifting you to the counter and placing a kiss on your nose. “Do you wanna find out what would happen if we got a little closer?” he asks, his hands moving to your knees, fingers spreading as he moves them up your thighs.

A jolt of electricity runs through you, and you can’t stop yourself, you cup his face and pull him into a kiss. He doesn’t hesitate to return it, quickly taking the lead as he kisses you hard and messy, way too eager to have you all to himself. All you want is spending the night in his bed, exploring every inch of his body and taking the time to learn more about him. He’s not that type, you know that, not someone who would sleep with a woman he barely knows, but God, you need him so bad.

The spell is broken when you hear some strange noises from Jack’s room, and his fatherly instincts kick in right away, making him rush to his son’s room. You don’t miss the sound of crying, the heartbreaking sobs of the child you grew to like so much in the past few hours. Your curiosity is strong, telling you to go and see what’s happening, but you also know it’s not something you should observe.

Some time later you’re sitting on the couch, mindlessly checking your notifications to see if there’s anything interesting, but your mind keeps returning to the kiss, that goddamn kiss you won’t be able to forget anytime soon. Finally, you hear the sound of footsteps from the bedrooms, and Aaron eventually sits next to you with a troubled look on his face.

“Wanna talk about it?” you ask hesitantly.

He shakes his head with a sigh. “Not now.”

You nod as you lock your phone and turn to him. “I didn’t want to sneak out without a word. Thank you for the dinner and everything, but I should probably go now.” Before he could speak, you stand up and slip the phone into the pocket of the hoodie. The hoodie that still smells like him.

It hurts. It really does. You can see the sadness in his eyes, but he doesn’t want to talk about it, and you don’t want to force him to tell you what’s wrong. Maybe he needs some time alone now to think about whatever happened in his son’s bedroom.

You’re not good at this; the emotional conversations are the bane of your existence. You work, you go to parties, but most of your relationships are extremely shallow. You have absolutely no experience in emotionally supporting someone in need of it, and you sure as hell won’t practice on the man you like so much.

When you grab the doorknob, though, you suddenly see him put his hand on the door next to your head to keep it closed. You turn to him with a confused look on your face. He lets out a humorless laugh as he watches you.

“It’s not an easy topic, okay? I’ll tell you, I promise, just… not yet. I wanted you to know this,” he adds, then leans in to give you a soft kiss. You return it, but it feels different now, so you put a hand on his chest to gently push him away. Now it’s his turn to look confused. “Did I do something wrong?” he asks, and for the first time since you’ve known him, he sounds unsure of himself.

“No, it’s just getting late. Good night, Aaron.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but then he sees the determination in your eyes and gives up the fight before he could even begin. “Sure. Good night.”

[bondwithme-murderstyle]

Who's The Boss? pt.2 aaron hotchner x fem!reader

wc: 1.7k

Summary: Aaron Hotchner has some time before heading to Quantico and embarking on his new position within the BAU. He decides that now would be a good time to gather some of his buddies and head off on a vacation to Miami before his life is turned on its head.

warnings: +18, mdni!! vacation setting with explicit descriptions but no physical acts (save that for pt.3), smoking because it's the '90s and this man with a cigarette is my holy grail, a tiny paragraph releasing haley from this story-line, essentially just verbal-foreplay, reader is described as having hair (???) that gets wet in the pool, definitely dom!aaron and his dirty mouth, no use of y/n, not as romantic as my dream had originally perceived him but we'll take what we can get in the moment

an: i am so sorry this had to be split up! freakin' word-limit posts

~When his friends passed you by, they gave small looks- knowing looks that made your heart race. A part of you said that it was now-or-never. To go before his friends returned and gave him hell. But as you prepared to stand and rid yourself of the towel, you glanced over and he was no longer reading. He was back in the pool and looking at you. His brow raised slightly above his frames and he lifted one hand from the water to beckon you over with two fingers.~

Your body screamed, your mind tore itself apart. But you listened. And you met him halfway.

Instead of jumping right into the water, you decided to sit on the edge, half-way between his spot in the sun and yours. Once your legs were submerged up to your knees, he made a half-attempt at swimming across. One long stroke was all it took from him to reach you and you thanked God your sunglasses remained on your face to at least hide some of your excitement. His arms held him up at the edge, his elbow brushing your thigh and it took him a moment to say anything.

“Do you always stare at strangers, stranger?”

“Only when they’re worth staring at.” You answered and swallowed thickly, supporting yourself on the pool edge with your arms polka-straight and your nails wrapping against the tile that washed and flushed with water. “You and your friends always arrange your dates like this, out in the open?”

This made him laugh and look away for a moment, “Yeah, well, they’re idiots!” His choice of words made you feel relaxed. To know that you weren’t in the presence of another idiot. “I’m Aaron. Hotchner.” His head turned to look up at you and extended his hand. You rolled your lips together and decided to just fuck it. You shook his hand politely with a gentle ‘hi’ and resumed kicking your legs gently in the water.

“So, you and your boys are down here blowing off steam?”

“Well, you could say that. It’s summer.”

“And, you don’t have a job in the summer?”

“I’m currently changing positions. Was a prosecutor. Soon to be FBI.”

“Ooh.” A purr escaped you but you remained cool, nodding and looking elsewhere. “Sounds thrilling.”

“We’ll see.” He concurred and turned to lean his back against the wall of the pool, trying to follow your gaze that never quite seemed to settle. “And you’re on vacation too.”

“Mmhmm. Seattle doesn’t get much sun like this. Figured I deserved a real summer-break.” You agreed and gave away your first clue. Your location. Not that Aaron noticed much. He instead scanned the pool-deck and relaxed when he realised his friends had become distant memories. “So, should I call you ‘Agent’?” You tried to tease him.

“Call me whatever you like.” He quipped and turned to face you again, this time right in front of your legs. Your feet ceased their relaxed kicks and his hands worked beneath the water to take hold of your calves and separate them just enough to make space for him. You didn’t know what else to do other than let him wade between your legs and look up at you with a gruff sigh, “What are the odds I’d ever see you again anyway?”

“Slim-to-none. It’s a big country, Agent.” You hummed again and tried to ignore his large hands that had now come to rest on the outside of your thighs. They engulfed your skin and left behind beads of water that cooled instantly in the soft ocean breeze. Your body continued to scream, the heat in your belly even took the liberty of giving little heart-stopping flips every time his fingers moved as he steadied himself in the water.

“So, in the interest of probably never meeting each other again; are we just going to keep on staring or are we going to do something about this, sweetheart?”

Your head stopped panning to each sound around you and you looked down at him now, a perfect position you had found yourself to be in. Sweetheart. You wanted to whine and ask to hear it again. Instead, you smiled at him and his shameless motion.

“Well, Aaron,” You shifted a little closer to the edge but remained to keep your hands to yourself, “I’m assuming that you have something in mind. What, with your friends gone and all. Otherwise you wouldn't have invited me over here.”

“I wasn’t planning to be here when they came back.” He looked up when your legs closed slightly around him, “I wasn’t planning for you to stick around either.”

“Oh?” Your smile remained, albeit a little brighter, “That’s rather presumptuous, don’t you think?”

“Forgive me, but you haven’t exactly pushed me out from between your legs since I got here," his head gestured down to the small space between your body and his chest, tongue running along his bottom lip, "In fact, you came closer. Not very presumptuous when everybody knows you want it.” Aaron rolled his lips together completely and he was waiting for you to answer. But you couldn’t. He was right and he knew it. “And we’re in a public setting. So if there was anything else you wanted to do, other than stare at me, you can’t exactly do it here, can you?”

“And you don't want to do something?”

“I can tell you in incredible detail what I’d like to do- what I will do. Hopefully, that'll convince you that I’m right?”

“But, like you said, we’re in public.”

Your counter-argument made him smile and his voice dropped lower, quieter, “And nobody around us can hear me tell you that; I can’t wait to feel you cum… all... over... my... tongue.” His face remained arrogant, his smile permanently small almost as he delivered filthy promises across the space between you. His fingers dug that little bit deeper into your flesh and caused you to gasp and hold your breath. “Nobody here knows that we’re going to go upstairs,” his digits started to drag slightly on your skin, “where I’ll taste every perfect inch of you," he purred at you and the images flashing through your mind would bear no resistance to the reality, "where I'll make you kneel. just for me on your cold room floor,” his head tilted slightly for any sign on your face that this was wrong, “and fuck that pretty little mouth that turned down my friend in favour of me.”

Your lips parted and your eyes widened slightly behind your shades. He had been reading your mind. Aaron took in a breath, leaving his proposition hanging between you both. Had it not been a public setting, you would’ve been in the water with him, eagerly tasting him and feeling those large hands elsewhere. "You'll say thank-you." He reasoned quietly, "Hopefully, you'll say it over... and over again," Aaron came close enough that you could feel his words ricochet like a pinball between your thighs and by now you were pooling, "Because, if you don't, I'll definitely remind you." A few ridiculous words and your body was thrumming, your blood raced as it pulsed through your veins. It was hard to keep your mouth from falling further open and it took every fibre of your being to keep composure by the poolside.

"I-Is that right, Agent?" You asked with a throbbing core and a weak voice, leaning closer to him.

“You’ll give me your room number... And you’ll go upstairs and wait, just as you are,” his massaging touch on your thighs was a perfect chorus to his words, tugging gently with his fingers and pulling just tight enough that you were ready to slip into the water, “for me to convince you, inch by inch.”

You gently bit at your lower lip, cheeks flushed hot and it was agreed. “1219.” You said and this was enough for him to bow his head in a subtle nod and pull away to swim back to his sun-beaten corner of the pool.

[bekolxeram]

A whole day late to @bucktommyfluffebruary's day 1 prompt: non-sexual intimacy. Inspiration strikes suddenly, what can I say?

You can also read it on AO3.

Golden Hour

rated G | 1027 words

“Morning, team!” Buck walks into the firehouse with an extra bounce in his step, looking the most carefree he’s been for months.

“What got you so… woah,” Hen begins questioning, but stops in the middle of the sentence once she fully turns around and takes a good look of her strangely jovial co-worker.

“What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?” Buck instinctively touches his face in response to Hen’s reaction. He has a hard time deciphering her expression; She seems… surprised, astonished, but at the same time, shocked, and confounded.

“No! Not really. You seem… happier,” Hen puts on a reassuring smile, “but the bags under your eyes seem like they came straight from the Milan Fashion Week, and your hair looks like you’ve just rolled out of bed.”

The entire 118 bore witness to Buck’s post-Tommy heartbreak. Yes, he obsessively checked his phone and got addictive to baking, maybe he let his stubble grow out a day or two more than it should, but he never, ever, neglected personal hygiene or grooming. He always made sure to dress like a functioning member of the society before heading to work, what happened outside of shift was his own business.

“I used to know someone like this at school,” Chimney joins in. “His girlfriend dumped him just before summer break. Then he came back to school looking like a hobo, but at the same time, happy as the Buddha. He told me he went on a trip to discover himself.”

“But Buck was with us last shift, 48 hours ago. What life-changing destination could he have gone to in such a short amount time?” Hen furrows her brows in confusion.

“By trip, I mean an acid trip,” Chimney snickers, then he turns to face Buck in chorus with Hen, waiting for an answer.

“I can assure you, I’ve never taken any mind altering substance before coming to work. That would be irresponsible!” Buck objects, attempting to halt this dangerous speculation at once.

Just as Hen and Chimney are about to interrogate further, Eddie chimes in while slowly sipping on his coffee, “Buck and Tommy are back together without telling us.”

Gasps, then cheers fill the room.

“Wait, how? Did Tommy tell you?” Buck asks.

“No one told me anything,” Eddie takes another sip from his mug, “I can just tell, from your hair.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Oh! Yeah!” Hen’s whole face is lit up by her realization, “the hair thing, right?” She vaguely gesture at her head.

“Exactly.” Eddie snaps his fingers at Hen.

“What hair thing?” It’s now Buck’s turn to be utterly confused.

“I don’t get it either,” Chimney turns his attention to his brother-in-law. “Is Tommy bad at picking shampoo? Or hair product? Can’t you just bring your own?”

“Um… I don’t know.”

“You’ll get it once you’ve spent enough time with them,” Eddie sighs.

“I’ve spent plenty of time with them. One is my oldest friend, the other is my brother by marriage!”

“With both of them together, as a third wheel,” Eddie adds.

Chimney grimaces. “Ugh, no! Is it a sex thing?”

“It’s appropriate safe in public,” Hen clarifies, “as long as you don’t find two people of the same gender being in love inappropriate.”

“Oh, okay,” Chimney nods in understanding, “but, what about the bags under your eyes?”

“Um… Tommy and I…”

Buck’s interrupted by Eddie.

“Stop. That one’s definitely a sex thing.”

It takes Chimney another few months to figure out what the “hair thing” actually is.

Buck and Tommy have been invited to dinner at the Han’s.

The four of them were anxious about the possible awkwardness, but Chimney and Tommy settle right back into their old buddy dynamic once the conversation starts flowing.

“I think you two fixed my brain when you showed up all sooty at the hospital. I was groggy all week, but connecting the dots that you guys had been making out? That was the first time I felt like I could finally think clearly,” Chimney recounts his experience coming down with viral encephalitis, and marrying the love of his life at a hospital.

“A hospital, what is it?” Tommy asks, barely containing his giggle.

“It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now,” Chimney bursts into laughter in unison with Tommy by the time his finishes his sentence.

“Um… What’s the joke?” Maddie asks, while both Buckley siblings frown, seemingly puzzled.

“Airplane! The greatest comedy movie of all time!” Chimney exclaims.

“And the most quotable,” Tommy supplements.

“Neither of you have watched Airplane? Tommy, you didn’t introduce your man to the most influential film in your life?”

The Buckley siblings shake their head.

“Alright, we’re watching it after dinner.”

Chimney has seen Airplane! countless times before. The simple, sometimes childish humor of this classic has been his go-to for years whenever he needs a pick-me-up.

He may have the ability to recite the entire movie from start to finish, but the source of the enjoyment now comes from watching his friends and loved ones’ reaction to this comedic masterpiece, to experience the amusement and wonder anew from their fresh eyes.

“We have clearance, Clarence.”

“Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?”

Chimney turns to focus on the viewers’ reaction, instead of the screen.

Maddie’s almost crying with laughter, while shoving a few kernels of popcorn into her mouth. Popcorn with butter and pickle juice, the exact snack she’s been craving.

Buck, on the other hand, is laying his head onto Tommy’s shoulder.

And Tommy, he absentmindedly anchors his hand into Buck’s hair, and ruffles the curls around.

Chimney himself would gladly push off whoever dares to touch his carefully styled hair, but Buck’s happily leans into his boyfriend’s touch.

“Is that correct phraseology in aviation?” Buck beams at Tommy, half flirting and half genuinely asking to satisfy his curiosity.

“Yeah, more or less. That’s why it’s a classic,” Tommy gazes back at Buck softly, hand still messing up the younger man’s hair.

Buck shows his dimples, nestles his head at the crook of Tommy’s neck, and continues watching the movie.

My brother is in good hands.

Chimney tells himself silently.

[fanganfessions]

Something I find hilarious about Damon, is just how he's completely wrong about talents. His isn't better than everyone else's. Its probably on the same level as most of them.

Jean has to know first-aid, weather patterns, memorise multiple sea routes, keep group morale high and actually save people from drowning in order to qualify as an Ultimate. Diana has to have the skill to be able to instantly identify what kinds of makeup looks good on her client, probably transform people's faces into something entirely different, and make sure to never make a mistake as she'd have to redo everything. Her eye for detail isn't something you'd find everywhere. Heck, even Kai has to memorise algorithm trends, do partnerships and such, and according to his FTEs, he manufactured an entire zeitgeist from one account, when he was doing an online marketing job his coworkers were cheating off of (even Damon thinks this is impressive), and also influenced the marketing strategies of companies that try to seem more "friendly" and "casual" on social media accounts. Wolfgang's work changes the course of lives, helping innocent people who could've gotten live sentences live freely. Wenona's responsible for basically all the food in the country.

Not to say Damon's talent isn't also extremely impressive. He has to memorise the details of any kind of topic in order to have an expert's opinion in an incredibly short period of time, and weigh it's pros and cons in order to argue for or against it. He's pretty good at the thing too, judging by his Ultimate title. Him winning enough competitions that his parents don't have to work anymore, and supposedly paying for the welfare, groceries and overall living expenses for three (or more if he also pays for any siblings or uncles and aunts) people is pretty damn impressive. It's just that most of his actual arguments about talents are so far-fetched that it's impossible not to poke holes in them.

Yeah, sure buddy, you can argue about ethics and politics, but so can literally everyone. Has he ever went outside near his country's election day?? Or ever went to a family gathering?? And that's only talking about politics. Beause he's definitely not the only one to ever have an opinion. Yeah, his arguments are backed up by actual data and stuff, but he's not the only person to ever do that, and like 99% of those people probably work office jobs. Intelligence also doesn't make his talent superior cause you have to be intelligento for every talent. He also admits in Wenona's FTEs that he wipes his memory clean in order to prepare for his next debate, so he doesn't actually learn anything.

Some talents are obviously more useful to society, like entrepreneurship or law, but debate isn't one of them. In fact, it barely changes society as a whole. It's extremely important to Damon's life and his family's, but unless he goes straight into being a politician or something, odds are he's not changing anything. Damon is pretty impressive as a person, probably more intelligent than most of his classmates, but his talent simply isn't betters than their's. Like I mentioned above, all Ultimate talents are impressive, but comparing a cosmetologist to a entreprenur, an influencer to a historian, or a debater to a lawyer... doesn't make that much sense.

Personally, I think all the characters are extremely impressive in their personal talents (because they're ultimates, duh), but tons of characters like Damon and Eva (most obvious examples) definitely aren't defined by their talents in regards to how intelligent they are, even though their characters do revolve around their Ultimates.

⠀

[sworeidnevercompromise]

ꨄ︎ pillow talk: a drew starkey smau < part two > series masterlist

divider creds: @adornedwithlight

drewstarkeyfan

liked by dstarkeynews and others drewstarkeyfan i'm dead why did he do that

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youruser LMFAOOO he got a little silly with it

drewstarkeyfan @/youruser HELLO QUEEN .

villainkilla goated with the sauce

m8trondhotel he said let me not foget to bust a move

supercargo men take notes. this is how you should be acting to attract women ・ ♥️ by author

cuntofmontecristo is it bad that i still need him kinda

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youruser

liked by drewstarkey and others youruser ahhh poland you've been too good to me! kocham cię 💚💚

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drewstarkeyfan girl you and drew were so on a date at that restaurant i'm dead

drewy/nthinker @/drewstarkeyfan that + the softlaunching in this post ohhh wow i'm losing it reputation1389 @/drewstarkeyfan @/drewy/nthinker EWWW GET HER OUT OF HEREEEE drewstarkeyfan @/reputation1389 ofc ur a faceless account ・ ♥️ by author

drewstarkey ate your weight in pierogi

youruser @/drewstarkey nom nom nom 😋

officialmikeymadison_ we have to go back soon! i had so much fun with you ・ ♥️ by author

taliaryder give me my jacket back

youruser @/taliaryder jousting tournament to get it back taliaryder @/youruser you're on

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drewstarkey

drewstarkey

liked by brooke_starkey, youruser and others drewstarkey "I've had hangovers before, but this time, even my hair hurts" - Brad Allen, Pillow Talk. Germany: your beer rocks. I'll be more careful next time.

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youruser two day bender!

drewstarkey @/youruser never again.

brooke_starkey so good seeing you

drewstarkey @/brooke_starkey same time next year?

austinnorth55 👍 hell yeah brother ・ ♥️ by author

jonathandavissofficial until next time ・ ♥️ by author

drewy/nthinker QUIT SOFTLAUNCHING I KNOW THAT'S Y/N

supercargo sooo...drew let's talk about the last slide. who is that buddy?

youruser slide 9 🤗 ・ ♥️ by author

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youruser

liked by pillowtalkmovie and others youruser italy → greece → poland → germany → paris just in the past 2 weeks. england & ireland & spain up next. I LOVE YOU @/pillowtalkmovie!!!!!!!

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drewstarkey just flew into paris....boy my arms are tired

youruser @/drewstarkey hardy har har

madelyncline nails hair hips heels ・ ♥️ by author

bestfrienduser oh so no sneaky little couples pic in this one? ・ ♥️ by author

villainkilla @/bestfrienduser omfg having y/n's bsf on our side ... #myshipissailing

y/narchive hair is looking fabulous as per usual i see

pillowtalkmovie 💚 you more ・ ♥️ by author

a24 queen of our hearts ・ ♥️ by author

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y/nweloveyou

liked by drewy/nthinker and others y/nweloveyou via @/youruser's insta story..

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maleaunt well idk why we're acting surprised obviously she's gonna use them with drew

drewy/nthinker kind of need the baguette one

y/nitalia 😀

supercargo wait serve

lavenderhazez she's addicted to anything that says "i ❤️ [place]" so honestly the top one could just be her adding to her collection. bottom one is insane though

y/nssangels everyone in these comments acting like it's insane for her to have condoms ?? she's in her 20s and gorgeous obviously she's having sex there's nothing wrong with that i'm dead

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lucaguadagninoarchive

liked by dstarkeynews and others lucaguadagninoarchive @/pillowtalkmovie full cast, posted on their twitter page.

alexanderludwig

liked by youruser, drewstarkey and others alexanderludwig Lots of fun on this press tour, but England has by far been my favorite stop. Drank lots of tea, saw so many Union Jacks, and got to see @/youruser and Luca talk about this amazing movie we're in (@/pillowtalkmovie). Cheers, England. Be back soon.

drewstarkey right what's all this then

alexanderludwig @/drewstarkey 🇬🇧

youruser spot of tea, old chap?

vanessahudgens So happy for you. I miss you! ・ ♥️ by author

hichasestokes I'm expecting souvenirs from every stop ・ ♥️ by author

drewstarkey @/hichasestokes yo JB

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davidjonsson_

liked by alexanderludwig and others davidjonsson_ @/pillowtalkmovie press tour brought me back home. I feel beyond blessed. Had so much fun in London- yes, even when @/alexanderludwig got lost in the Underground. Be back soon.

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alexanderludwig 😅

ayoedebiri can't wait until november 7th for this movie to drop. i'm already giving it a standing ovation (and i haven't even seen it yet!) ・ ♥️ by author

drewstarkey let's av it ・ ♥️ by author

youruser you know who didn't get lost in the london underground? me 😇😇😇😇 ・ ♥️ by author

pillowtalkmovie our harry ❤️

davidjonsson_ @/pillowtalkmovie & proud to say it

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officialmikeymadison_

liked by youruser and others officialmikeymadison_ i'm not usually one for long captions but this press tour is making me a new person. thank you to the sweetest girl ever @/youruser for convincing me to take the role in @/pillowtalkmovie. even though it's a small role, it's totally made my life better. all my love to the cast & crew. 💋

youruser awww sweet sweet girl i'm having so much fun bopping around europe with you. couldn't get through all of these flights & train rides & crazy quick days without you. you're everything and more 💚

officialmikeymadison_ @/youruser love love love you

pillowtalkmovie ❤️

roxannelala QUEENNNN ❤❤

mikeymadisonfansite i'd watch anything ur in even if you had -10 seconds of screen time

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drewstarkey 10m

youruser 20m

[gottencents]

Brown Eyes - Lisa Manoban

pairing. spiderwoman!lisa x girlfriend!reader

synopsis. after a long night of fighting crime, spider-woman Lisa always finds her way back to Y/n, the one person who makes her feel grounded.

The city skyline shimmered under the moonlight as you stood on your apartment balcony, sipping on a warm cup of tea. The air was crisp, carrying the faint scent of rain from earlier. It was a quiet night—or at least, it had been.

A sudden gust of wind and the soft thwip of webbing alerted you to the presence of none other than your favorite visitor. Before you could react, a familiar red-and-black figure swung gracefully onto your balcony railing, crouching like a cat about to pounce.

“Miss me?” Lisa, or rather, Spider-Woman, grinned beneath her mask, her voice laced with playful confidence.

You rolled your eyes, setting your cup down. “You literally saw me this morning.”

Lisa pulled off her mask, shaking out her slightly tousled hair. “Yeah, but the night makes everything more romantic,” she teased, hopping down onto the balcony floor. “And I wanted to see my favorite person before heading out again.”

You folded your arms, giving her an unimpressed look. “Uh-huh. And this visit has nothing to do with you wanting my leftover cookies?”

Lisa gasped dramatically. “Y/n, how could you accuse me of such betrayal?” She placed a hand over her chest as if deeply wounded, then smirked. “But since you mentioned cookies…”

Laughing, you took her hand and pulled her inside. “Come on, hero. I’ll get you some.”

As you went to the kitchen, Lisa followed closely, wrapping her arms around your waist from behind. “Mmm, you smell nice,” she murmured against your shoulder, swaying slightly with you.

You giggled. “Spider-women aren’t supposed to be this clingy, you know.”

“Says who?” Lisa lifted her head, her lips brushing against your ear. “Maybe I fight crime all day just so I can come home and be your problem instead.”

Your heart fluttered at her words, but you played it cool. “Oh, great. So I’m just your post-patrol cuddle buddy now?”

“Exactly,” Lisa hummed, spinning you around so she could look into your eyes. “And you love it.”

You pretended to think for a moment. “Hmm. I guess it’s not the worst thing in the world…”

Lisa gasped, feigning offense. “Not the worst? Y/n, I risk my life fighting bad guys, swinging from skyscrapers, dodging explosions—and this is the thanks I get?”

You bit your lip to hide your smile, then reached up to cup her face gently. “Thank you for always coming back to me.”

Lisa’s playful expression softened. She leaned into your touch, her brown eyes warm with something deeper. “I always will.”

The moment stretched between you, the city noise fading into the background. Then, Lisa’s gaze flickered to your lips.

“Can I kiss you?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Your breath caught. “You better.”

Lisa grinned before closing the distance, her lips capturing yours in a slow, tender kiss. Her hands rested on your waist, holding you close, as if anchoring herself to you.

When she pulled away, her forehead rested against yours. “Y’know,” she murmured, “I think I like being tangled up with you.”

You laughed softly, your fingers playing with the hem of her suit. “Good. Because you’re stuck with me now, Spider-Woman.”

Lisa grinned, pulling you back in for another kiss. “Best webbing I’ve ever gotten caught in.”

[danikamariewrites]

Hey! Would you be willing to write a fic or head cannon on how Ruhn would react to being mated to someone who is the complete opposite of him? Like maybe she is introverted and enjoys reading on the weekends instead of partying or something? If not that's okay! Hope you have a great day!

Opposites Attract

Ruhn x reader

Notes: I am 100% the opposite of Ruhn and will always be the friend that picks staying home over going out. Books over bars am i right guys

Warnings: none

The two of you met by chance. You hadn’t been paying attention while walking to work and bumped into Ruhn

He caught you when you tripped over your feet and then you apologized a million times. The moment your eyes locked the bond was instant. “I thought it was a myth.” Ruhn whispered. From there you took things slow even though the two of you fell hard for each other

You liked hanging out at your place better than Ruhn’s

It’s not that you didn’t like the frat house, you were just more comfortable in your own space

You liked staying home anyway. Everything you need is there

Ruhn didn’t mind staying at your place. He would cook you dinner, cuddle and watch movies without interruption

As your relationship progressed Ruhn was happy he could feel your comfort and happiness down the bond

It wasn’t like people didn’t know about you. You hadn’t been on double dates with Hunt and Bryce. Been to dinner with his friends and all that

But there was a part of Ruhn that felt like he was disappointing you

“Are you sure you don’t want to go out tonight?” Ruhn asked while you cuddled on your couch. “Yeah,” your eyes never leaving the TV. “If you want to go out please, don’t let me stop you.” Tilting your head back you smile at your mate

Ruhn turned off the TV, sitting up to face you. “Y/n be honest with me. Do you not like being with me?” The sadness in his voice broke your heart. Cupping his cheeks you shake your head. “Not at all baby, no. Ruhn how could you think that?” Ruhn lets out a shaky breath. “You never want to go out. And we never go to my place, why?” You hug him tight. “It has never been because of you. I just get anxious in new spaces and I don’t like partying. I’d much rather be here with you.”

After that conversation Ruhn became more understanding with you liking your space

Ruhn is a tad bit clingy but you love it

He’s always torn between going out and staying with you. How could he possible leave his beautiful mate at home?!

While he goes out you like your alone time. You chat with your friends, read, or watch TV

The first time Ruhn came home from a boys night he stumbled into your house very, very drunk

It was kinda cute because he was so happy to see you

“My love! My mate, the light of my life, I missed you!” He flops on the bed next to you, staring at you with big eyes. “My friends aren’t as fun as you,” he whispered, making you giggle. Ruhn pulls you to his chest letting out a hum. “I feel much better now. My heart hurt without you.”

You started going more places with Ruhn, trying to get comfortable with the attention that came with being the crown prince’s mate

When you didn’t like a place Ruhn was very understanding about it

You weren’t a huge fan of bars or anything like that. It’s not that you didn’t see the appeal, it just isn’t for you

You eventually grew to being comfortable at Ruhn’s place, even staying the night

Staying for parties at the frat house was also something you grew to be comfortable with. Especially when Ruhn made it clear that his bedroom was your room too

He absolutely did not give 2 shits about how clean his room was until he met you

The first time you came over to spend the night at his place Ruhn was running around like a mad man to make it look like grown-ups lived here

Ruhn was def shoving all loose items in his closet (the only neat thing being his made bed) until Dec came to check on him

“Heyyy buddy, you good?” “NO! PLEASE help me, i have too much shit.”

Whenever you’re feeling tired or just done with the party you always sneak away to Ruhn’s room

He’s never far behind you

You get about 10 min of alone time before Ruhn comes in ready to cuddle

When he comes up drunk he’s adorable

“Bbaayyyybbyyyyyy, i missed you.” He flops on the bed, pulling his clothes off and snuggles into you before falling asleep

You def read while holding him

Drunk Ruhn can fall asleep with the lights on for sure

When he comes up not drunk he just dotes on you

If the music and crowd were too much he’s very gentle with you, rubbing your back and pressing kisses to your forehead while whispering sweet nothings

[nami-moittli]

This counts as a “meme”, right?

[kangals]

FLUFFY GUY HAS MADE HIS FIRST ORBIT OF THE SUN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEPLER! 🎉🔭💫

[daddyissuesbecauseofhotch]

Daddy issues || #5

{masterlist}

Aaron: Did you sleep well?

Aaron: Are you mad at me?

Aaron: Look, I don’t know what I did, but this silent treatment is pretty childish. Talk to me.

Aaron: Come on, I know you read these messages.

You: Stop. Please.

Aaron: Okay, what have I done?

You: Nothing.

Aaron: Then?

You: It has nothing to do with you.

Aaron: Is it related to your boyfriend?

You: My what?

Aaron: The guy who left your apartment this morning.

You: Oh, that guy.

Aaron: “That guy”? Who is he?

You: It’s none of your business.

Aaron: You went out some time after you left my apartment. Where did you go?

You: Who the hell do you think you are?

You: Where I go is none of your business.

You: Thank you for the dinner, but that’s all it was about.

Aaron: Why are you so hostile all of a sudden?

You: I don’t want to be interrogated. I have plans for tonight, don’t disturb me.

You hate to be mean, you don’t want to hurt him, but this is what needs to be done. To be honest, you don’t know why you’re like this all of a sudden, but you have this gut feeling that you can’t let him get closer. Was that kiss the best one in your life so far? Absolutely. But you weren’t ready to deal with their family dynamics.

It’s not that he didn’t talk about what made Jack upset, it’s more the fact you had no idea how to react, how to comfort him. You are not girlfriend material, never have been, maybe you shouldn’t start with a man who’s a good twenty years older than you with a son he raises alone.

Last night you felt like being locked in a cage after you returned to your apartment, and in the end you asked a friend to go to a club with you. Leo is a friend with benefits, although he’s not really a close friend of yours. A fuck buddy? Yeah, maybe that’s a better way to describe your relationship with him.

You’re not proud of yourself, not proud of your always partying lifestyle, but you’re an adult with a good job and a decent salary, you’re doing your best to be nice to people–that should be enough. Maybe you’re just too hard on yourself, that’s why deep down you’re building a distance between you and Aaron. Before calling Leo last night, you realized that your life isn’t compatible with Aaron’s, you two are too different to be able to make this work.

Yes, this must be the answer you’ve been looking for. You’re scared of not being good enough. You’ve always had a problem with that. Your parents loved you, but they were so very proud of you that you developed this need to be outstanding in whatever you were doing. Sometimes it happened, sometimes it didn’t. There were more failures, which probably guided you toward parties and one-night stands that helped you get away from reality temporarily.

When you wrote to Aaron that you have plans for tonight, you meant it, but not in the way he probably thought. You were going to watch a movie with a girl you know from college, then you probably go to some fast food restaurant where you can talk freely. She’s the closest thing you have to a best friend, which is probably pretty sad from the outside.

Just when you turn the key in the lock of your front door upon leaving, you hear the familiar creaking sound from next to you, followed by confident footsteps that get louder with each second. You know who it is. You don’t have to guess or look, because his presence is overwhelming from the moment he stops next to you.

“Does it have anything to do with me not telling you about Jack’s nightmare?”

He sounds exhausted, exasperated, and maybe there’s a hint of uncertainty too. His eyes are fixed on your face, carefully watching your reactions to see if he can find out something you’re not telling him. At this very moment you hate that he reads people for a living, because it’s simply not fair. There’s a power imbalance in a way–he knows everything, you know nothing.

In the end, you shake your head to assure him it’s something else. “I have to go,” you tell him, your tone being timid, sounding nothing like it should based on your messages.

“I thought it meant something, you know,” he notes as he crosses his arms over his chest. “That kiss yesterday, it was… I want more. I want you, all of you. I know, maybe there’s an age gap that can cause problems, but we should give it a shot, just to see where it leads us.”

What are you supposed to say? That he should choose someone better than you? That this age gap might be a problem? That you’re not sure you could take care of Jack in the way he would like you to? It’s hard to say, because the thought of hurting his feelings causes physical pain.

So, you shake your head and draw in a shallow breath. “Aaron, I like you, but why me? We’re so different, you should pick someone who’s more like you. Someone with a successful career, someone more mature than me,” you tell him.

He smiles. That damn smile and those dimples. God, why is it so hard to think clearly around him? And why can’t you just wave goodbye and walk away? Why are you torturing yourself by staying in his gravitational field?

Before you know it, he leans down to place a kiss on your temple, and he stays there, maybe a little too close to your liking. “Those short dresses and stilettos of yours are my biggest weaknesses,” he begins, his voice low and husky, sending a shiver down your spine. “But putting that aside, you’re down-to-earth, kind, beautiful, and the way you talk about your job tells me you’re good for a reason. You are perfect for me, never doubt that.”

You look at him wide-eyed, taken aback by all the things he told you. It feels surreal, to be taken so seriously by him–or anyone for that matter, but that’s a different issue. Right now you have to focus on not fainting on the spot. You can’t help but wonder if he knows what he’s doing to you, what numbing effect he has on you, as if he was a drug that can give you a delicious high with a single look.

“Don’t go anywhere, just come over,” he tells you, looking into your eyes to be more convincing.

And damn it, it works like a charm.

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

I was wondering, does Fiddleford still have a wife in your Halloween au? And if yes, does she know about him being a vampire?

I've been sitting on this ask for a bit, but I think I should finally answer.

In my AU, Fidds is actually pretty old-- not like ancient or anything, but surely a few centuries?

Anyway, so way back, when he was human, he did have a wife and a kid!! But when he got bit and became a vampire, he actually outlived them :(

He tries to think about them often, but it's definitely one of the things he chooses to erase when he creates the memory gun

[warpedpuppeteer]

Y'all ever cry when you think about how everyone in Eddie's life assumed he'll make a terrible parent without even offering him the help he needed to prove himself except for Buck?? He hears about Eddie's struggles with parenting and doesn't think 'you're a bad dad' he just thinks 'you need a bit of help' and then proceeds to make that happen for Eddie.

Calling Bobby to get permission to have Chris with them because Eddie doesn't get the time to, introducing Carla to go through the shitty red tapes he's been struggling to figure out, driving him to pick-up Chris after the earthquake, throwing a surprise Christmas party so that Eddie can be with Chris, and being the person Chris can turn to when he doesn't feel like talking to Eddie.

I don't think Buck realizes how much Eddie probably values all the things Buck has done for him to allow him to be the parent that he's always been capable of being. Buck downplays the things he does and probably thinks it's not much but for Eddie it's everything. It's everything Eddie didn't get from his partner or his parents. Buck just... does it for him, as easy as breathing.

This is why it was so, so easy for Eddie to choose Buck as the legal guardian for his Will but it was a shock for Buck. Buck doesn't know how integral he's been to Eddie being a good dad. For Eddie, it's easy because be knows Buck is already capable of stepping up. For Buck, it's surprising because doesn't think all the things he does matters.

[vaguely-concerned]

lucanis truly has a near terminal case of burned out golden child syndrome. caterina fucked both of these kids over so incredibly bad with the dynamic she enforced there, with illario being labled the perpetual fuckup kid where lucanis 'could do no (would never be allowed to do) wrong'. the way he admits in the first coffee date scene that the only thing that happened when he showed he could carry the weight of expectation was that more weight was added makes me so sad. you can hear it in caterina's voice in his intro mission that she's incredibly proud of him, but this is clearly a leandra and hawke situation where that pride never translates into relief or resolution or unconditional warmth or understanding or anything that really helps.

[cosmicredcadet]

Some of you will see a character that is actively repulsed by romance/sex and heavily non-partner coded (sometimes they even actively just say that they do not want a relationship!) and y'all will still respond with "But aros/aces can still date and have sex!!" like okay bud it'd be so much easier for you to say you don't respect repulsed and non-partnering aros and aces. stop beating around the bush trying to pretend to be oh so supportive when you obviously feel uncomfortable about our existence even in fiction.