#yeah im posting my shit on here now instead of main

[jackslocket]

IL PREDESTINATO VINCE.

(inspired by @scdria's super awesome monaco poster)

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

In case it's hard to read/understand: "If I had a nickel for every time I had a story with a blonde girl named after a plant, who has a German father and a French mother but absolutely hates said mom, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."

weird, extremely-specific tropes in my stories: pt 1

[merc-with-the-m0uth]

Okay I'm not fucking sure what om doing right now

I'm all over the place but I don't wanna vanish from tumblr again

Currently not on break but interactions could be shit

------

Hi yeah its me, Deadpool, wade 𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝, the merc with the mouth, definitely not truthful timmy the blowjob queen of Saskatoon.

Just say whatever the fuck you want in asks, its all for fun! Even the occasional dismemberment.

My Wolvie is @wolverine-howlett 🕊, look in his general direction and you get gutted <3

He is my husband and I love him so much 💍 20/12/24

I miss you, kitty

My sister is @katherine-fisk , be nice to her she's really sweet. And if you aren't nice you'll find out that I am not.

Ever struggling girldad to my two amazing daughters @jamie-todd-red-knight and @baby-jamie-todd they're the lights of my life, fuck with them and no one will ever find your body ^-^

Warning this account posts nsfw shit along, however feel free to be as sfw as you like in asks, i don't mind either, i love all types of interaction, and don't be scared thinking I'll turn every interaction nsft

If im not here, go find me over at @themercwiththem0uth

Nsfw blog🔞❤️‍🔥: @merc-with-the-m0uth-and-the-h0le I'm kinda an omega, yes from the a/b/o fanfic trope, it wasn't by choice, blame the anon who did this yo me.

I only nsfw rp on main with my wolvie

I really love my Logan and the Loki rp is an entirelyy different thing, separated from that.

My other boyfriend is @merc-with-a-mouth-69 he's adorable and I love him (editing my post sorry its gonna tag you again bbg)

By the way i also run @dogpool-puppins it was just meant to just be for funny but now you can go and roleplay with dogpool.

My main account is @drac0line1nn1t and has no connection here but just to clarify

The doodle in my intro is by the amazing @nuggetpool-hi because I love it and wanna eat it but I can't so ima keep it here instead hope it was okay to tag you

[velvetvexations]

as an autistic trans man, sometimes I feel less safe in public presenting as a man than as a woman, because, especially in certain places, man + visibly autistic tends to be more often falsely read as "dangerous and predatory" than when people read me as a woman.

Yeah, as an autistic trans woman who doesn't pass, I feel that. <3

Honestly thank you so much for what you do on this app. I'm so glad there's people who are actually willing to stand with trans men instead of pulling the "um well I have it worse so do NOT talk about your own oppression EVER or else you're a transmisogynist!" I'm so happy I found your blog and I hope you have a great week <3

I hope you have a great week as well!

Eh a long while ago Chris Fleming made a video making fun of polyamorous people which used a lot of the same hurtful stereotypes society already perpetuates against us and I’ve not paid attention since

Noted, as someone who is also poly.

i wish the queer community didnt put so much emphasis on sexuality labels like i just want to have sex why do i need to put a word to it

very valid

about the dropout “discourse”: hot take but real life people are not representation. theyre people. real people are not queerbaiting you and real people happening to not be transfem (and I have literally seen transfems in some dropout episodes theyre just not part of the main cast) is not a lack of representation. these are real people. stop* *not you, the people being shitty about it

the complaint is not in any way coming from a genuine place tbh

hey! i just wanted to let you know how much your blog means to me as a trans guy. you and your reblogs have given me hope at trans unity, and lets me know that i-- that we-- aren't alone. so thank you for everything you do, and i greatly appreciate your support and look up to you 💛

Thank you. <3

i redownloaded etsy recently and seeing all the trans stuff saved to my favorites is so sad. i used to feel happy and proud and i wanted to be open about being transmasc. but since all the discourse got worse i just. cant bring myself to feel like it matters. it makes me feel like im trans and yet i will never matter the way other trans people do.

You do matter anon, I promise. I love you, you matter, and I'm glad you're here.

As a trans guy a lot of the self-ID'd TME transmascs weird me out so much. Like why do they all sound like "I am so strong and my power to Harm Women is immense. I could do it so much and I feel the pull to the Transmisogynist Dark Side but *unsheaths sword* I will protect them instead with my big strong testosterone arms from my fellow men" like what even is that. Who is into this.

it's so incredibly obviously bad but it reinforces some people's victim complexes so it's praxis now

a trans person will joke about their experience and a trf will jump in to assume theyre a white transmasc who has never ever faced any real difficulties for being trans

every time

Out of the many, many stupid ideas in this dumb discourse, I've finally decided the one I hate the most is that underlying implication that transmascs just aren't trans enough. It's so gross seeing people imply that we aren't really trans. Our dysphoria is minimal discomfort at most, apparently. I've seen people post about and imply that transmascs will never understand not feeling like a person or being unable to live a life pre transition and that's why we have privilege, i guess - are you kidding me? It's like our experiences are a joke to these people who are clearly so wrapped up in their online discourse bubble that they're just detached from what it's like for trans people as a whole. Sorry for the vent (would rather not post this on main and I don't have anyone to talk to) but it's just the most grating part. Also it's like. Low-key transmed shit. Thought we left that behind, c'mon.

transmeds are like ants they come back every summer

i wish TRFs had a label they proudly called themselves so i could jsut go through their tags and block them, but noooooo they HAVE to frame their transphobic bullshit as Brilliant Transfeminist Theory. like atleast radfems are fucking honest about being radfems

That's part of why I made antigonism a label for anti-TRFs to call themselves~!

[contraryclock]

Limbus rambling Don Quixote edition number #2 the second

SO!!! that new canto huh Part 1 is out, im avoiding leaks to the best of my ability, and i am CAUGHT UP! still havent read La Mancha or Don Quixote though but i dont think that matters right now OBVIOUS disclaimer about my lack of knowledge with the source material once again point is i have a crackpot theory that just might not be that uncommon or unlikely? idk we'll see

Also sorry for no ALT text, this uses a lot of images and my fingers are very cold

spoilers under the cut obviously, catch up before you click and otherwise beware

oh yeah baby welcome to the cool people zone im going to be using a mixture of my own screenshots and the Limbus Main Story Library for this, so buckle up

I propose that there are in fact, two Don Quixote's! Our Don, the sinner of limbus company! and a much older, original Don Quixote, the possible Founder / Lord of La Manchaland!

To start, almost all of this theory is based on those flashback bits we get with the colored text, and is running under the assumption that the Yellow text is, reasonably, supposed to be our Don.

... which brings up the question of why they are acting so uncharacteristically in what is supposedly their own story.

Now, onto those flashbacks!

First up we have the instance at 7-9.

This one doesnt tell us much but it gives us some initial context.

The grey text is clearly Vergillius, you can just tell that from the delivery. The blue text is an unknown femenine voice, The yellow text feels somewhat familiar to that deeper voice that Don quixote will have on occasion. Ironically its more clear in her scream there at the end. ... and then we have the masculine voice in the red text.

But we'll get to that later! our next instance is in 7-13, on the inside of the Shooting Rage attraction. (( although i personally think it says Shooting Bagel. ))

okok but actually heres the text

Only the red voice this time, clearly the same person given the delivery too and with the added context of this node and the last one, it can be assumed that this is either the person who dreampt up La Manchaland, or straight up founded it.

And thanks to the Barber's Narration, we can also come to assume that this voice is also a Fixer, if these things are to be true.

Next, in 7-16, is NOT a flashback, but rather the reaction of The Barber.

The Barber recognizes the name to some degree, "THAT name" feels incredibly deliberate. But she is otherwise completely indifferent to Don.

and now we get to talk about this blue fuck

Sanson, Knight of the white Moon, Knight of Mirrors, ect ect, the BASTARD quick unrelated tangent but i think its cool that they made the arguable* main antagonist of Don Quixote possibly also be apart of Demian's Cool Blue Crew™ (( DCBC )) (( i say this because he shares his dialogue background with the other members of the blue crew we've met )) anyways basically the ENTIRE SEQUENCE he causes is the main reasoning behind my theory here *arguable ok again i havent read the book so i have no idea if this is an accurate assessment of his character i saw an article say that he was "arguably" the antagonist once and i haven't talked to anyone who has actually read the book to yap at about before i make these posts. addendum over

The fact of the matter is, Don Quixote does a right shit job of recounting her own story. She gets lines wrong, minor details, and this becomes readily apparent as soon as she implies that her own fucking shoes are who she was talking to, and that they are given proper reply. (( My thoughts are that instead of Rocinante, the role is in fact Sancho, but we have no evidence of that being the case ))

We also get the most telling flashback lines in this segment!

...The voice we've come to associate with Don Quixote is shown to NOT say her own line, but rather that of the line in red. And in both of these incidents, ellipsis are used to blank out a word, my bets are all on that word being "Knight" baybee

THATS A WRAP FOLKS we've established all the evidence for my epic theory that uhhh the Red voice in don's flashbacks are an Older, Original Don Quixote and that its possible that our Don is a 2'st Don instead of a real Don

As for why this is happening??? I have no fuckin idea its the first part of the canto i just wanted to get my thoughts out

i hope this wasnt too incomprehensible! as is usual dont follow me ect ect and reply or something if you have anything to add, as said im not very knowledgeable on the source material. or do that thing where you reblog with an additional comment because i will reblog that. free reblog ok goodbye now i will be stabbed to death momentarily

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hi. I don’t know if I’ve requested here before, but I have a (semi) great idea.

The rundown is somehow Caine found a karaoke machine! This leads to an iha where everyone + reader and Caine sing. (Honestly I just want to see what you’d think they’d sing).

Thank you!❤️❤️

KARAOKE TIME IN THE CIRCUS!

quick warning that you guys are about to be exposed to my music taste because i rarely ever listen to songs that dont fit my tastes so uh uh theres your warning, i know i have a warning somewhere on my acc where i say OOC is a possibility but i think it will really shine through here short post since its just me dropping what song i think each character would sing + links! this actually reminds me, ive had an IHA idea where its basically a musical episode where everyone cant talk, only sing but idk what the actual adventure itself would be and how music would tie in shrugs

CAINE:

as much as i wanna say hello world by louie zong, because AI stuff and bc ive been listening to it for the past hour on loop, i feel like that would be too on the nose and even completely out of character. so instead i suggest jerryterrys version of the boys are back in town

for one i am absolutely obsessed with jerryterrys version of the song above, as well as kiss me (kill me), i highly recommend you guys check out the music videos and put together the lore (CW for body horror in kiss me kill me, though!)

but like, my brain juices are flowing, like. i can see him singing the original, but imagine how unnerving it would be (assuming caine is actually going to be an antagonist) for the words to just. change and come out wrong in front of everyone

also i just want an excuse to gush about jerryterry

i love when people make song covers that sound like the original but theres something so terribly wrong

actually i love songs like that in general

caine gets two, because i can also see him singing charlie's inferno

POMNI:

oddly enough i can see pomni being into vocaloid and/or songs from anime. maybe its because her voice actor has voiced someone in JJBA and that fact is plaguing my mind, but i can now distinctly hear pomni singing some of my favorite songs in these genres... alas i dont have a set song in mind: so i will give you a song that does not fit the above at all, everyones favorite classic; come along with me from AT

JAX:

i give him, the main character by will wood because i can definitely see him singing this to be a little shit as well as genuinely. kind of seeing him enjoy the song

not much to say here since im not totally sure what jax would listen to :(!

RAGATHA:

okay i know i just brought up jerryterry's kiss me kill me, but that reminded me of the original kiss me because it does give me ragatha vibes

KINGER:

stumped on kinger, but first song that comes to mind is able by jack stauber i have nothing to explain this, but i will partially blame me listening to jack stauber a lot to be the reason

ZOOBLE:

cant explain this one either, i think its the tone of the voice but also im getting back into the scary jokes and

yeah

anyways icicles by the scary jokes , i can just see it

GANGLE:

okay so this one is less of a "i can see gangle singing this" and more of a "this makes me think of gangle" but imma put it here anyway since i dont have any other ideas for her !

today today by jack stauber

[thewallsaretalking-again]

you know what?? Fuck it, there's something I've GOTTA talk about:

(don't worry this isn't like a serious post or anything. also its gonna be really badly written with grammar errors because I'm just really excited to finally be talking about this and I'm shaking like a leaf) (also, if you don't agree with this that is completely fine; everybody ships different ships, this is just one that I personally love and me explaining how it came to be and how I image it. I'm not trying to convince anybody of anything, this is just for fun. If you don't like, that's fine! All I ask is that there is no hate and that you just move on. Thank you!)

I love rairpairs. Like, LOVE them. Anyone who's seen my old transformers art knows that I ship DreadOp which is like, a nonexistent ship. like, the ship equivalent of being an endangered species (there's like 10 fics about it on AO3, so you KNOW it's rare). There's a few examples of me being like this but this is the best example that i have.

But this has gotten to the point where i have done something absolutely ridiculous: I have created an entirely new ship- no, TWO entirely new ships (I'm only going to be focusing on one rn). AND I'VE GOTTA TALK ABOUT THEM because honestly? I love them! so, what monstrosity have I created? Whoo... prepare yourselves (especially you, dark cacao cookie fans...)

Yep. Don't hate me. Please hear me out because honestly iv'e seen more heinous ships in my time on the internet.

so, first of all, the white dude is known as the milk village elder in CRK, and we only see him once in the entire game (that i know of). I love taking npc's and giving them characters, so this is kinda how this happened. I'm gonna start by talking about the milk dude and how i headcannon/ imagine him because it will come into play later.

I gave the milk village elder the name Whole Milk Cookie, because i couldn't exactly call him Milk Cookie; that names already been taken

Whole Milk Cookie isn't actually anyone's grandfather, despite him being called grandad/ grandpappy in the actual game. We never see anyone his age in the milk village, and I like to imagine that its sorta like an honorary title. Like, he acts like everyone's grandpa, so everyone calls him grandpa but no one is actually related to him.

Whole Milk Cookie is like, ungodly sweet. Like, diabetes kind of sweet. its ridiculous. there are only a few ways to get him angry; and trust me, you don't want to...

He's strong. Like, think Hollyberry type strong. Gives the BEST hugs too.

Nobody knows exactly how old he is, but people suspect that he's actually much older than he looks. This could be caused by his extreme talent with the milk that comes from the villages well; if its used right, the milk can cure disease, help pains, or even extend someone's lifespan/ help retain youth. either that or he's some sort of demon but hey, who's counting?

got all that? good. Now the question everybody's asking; why the hell do i ship this? What's the story here? What's the origin? Well hold onto your pants folks because this is where we get into me overanalyzing shit.

behold the line that started it all:

This is so SO vague. why the hell did they put this in here it is SO VAUGE. what does he mean by "THAT king"? you know what it sounds like? someone reminiscing of their time with a loved one who has now changed....

they never elaborate on what exactly this line means and this is the very last line we hear Whole Milk Cookie say in the main story

wondering where exactly he's gone instead of wondering when he's coming back? idk man you sound worried about him...

also saying "laid your eyes upon" just sounds so gay/loving and i don't know why. yeah your laying something thats for sure glfbnvbrfnjkrb (im so sorry)

There's also this line:

The ally thing is kind of given, but why and how isn't this guy talking shit about dark Cacao? Like, he has EVERY right to! but he's not.... its almost like he cares.... and sure he mentions the generation thing but just because your parents were friends with some dude doesn't mean you necessarily like them right? so what gives??

Then there's the matter of Dark Cacao Cookies SON:

who is DArk CHOCOLATE

now Dark Chocolate usually doesn't have any milk/dairy in it, but it DOES need a fat, which whole milk DOES have!!

So, in theory, it would make sense for cacao and milk to make chocolate of some kind, AND it would account for Dark Choco Cookie having a lighter skin tone than his father (lighter eyes and the double white hair streak too)

I also like the story implications outside of cannon:

two people who would generally not be allowed to be in a relationship due to differing status keep a relationship going for years behind the backs of their communities

Dark Cacao Cookie taking full responsibility for taking care of their son, only for everything to become too overwhelming and he begins to remove himself from everything emotionally, wanting to give his son over to his other father to be properly taken care of but can't due to the dangers that poses for everyone in his family

Dark Choco nearly kills him and Dark Cacao has to exile him and (because of a mix of psychological manipulation, grief, and regret) locks up the citadel, leaving Whole Milk Cookie out of the picture entirely

Whole Milk Cookie stews in anger due to everything that's happened and Dark Cacao cookie not taking proper care of their son but eventually falls into guilt as well because he saw the signs of stress and overworking from his partner and didn't step in, assuming that everything was fine (but is still mostly mad at Cacao because he REALLY fucked up and it's not an excuse)

Gingerbrave and the crew comes strolling up and gets the citadel open, and Dark Cacao admits to Dark Choco that he didn't care enough and that he should have done things differently, and that he loves his son. Dark Choco leaves the cookies of darkness and begins a journey of recovery while Dark Cacao vows to do better for his family and kingdom in the future.

Dark Cacao meets up with Whole Milk Cookie to truly apologize to him, admitting everything he's done wrong and that he should have done far, FAR better. He tells WM that he deserves better than him

Whole Milk is obviously still angry and will never forgive Dark Cacao for what he's done. but he still loves him despite everything and would much rather the two of them work together to fix things (not necessarily romantically, more just not hating each other wise) moving forward instead of breaking things off and stewing in grief and anger.

The two of them take things extremely slow and carefully because it's been a long and difficult process, but they, eventually, get back to where they were.

Their recovery process takes years, but by that point Dark Cacao has improved himself exponentially, wanting nothing but the best for his partner and kingdom (and now knowing exactly what NOT to do) They also eventually find Dark Choco Cookie and fix things with him, but that's a whole other can of worms I'm not going to open here.

Just generally a story of two very different people, who despite goin through unimaginable hardships, do their very best despite the circumstances. they love each other more than even they realize and the fact that they are able to fix what was broken by their own hands is a testament to that, despite all of the arguments and tears along the way.

TLDR: Dark Cacao fucks up, his husband is mad but still loves him because he knows him better than anyone else, Dark Cacao actually makes an effort and succeeds to be much much better, and the two of them eventually figure things out. An unlikely love story :)

Ok, wow, that was a lot and kinda sad. But there are a few thiings that i couldn't fit into the rest of this so imma just stick them here:

Whole Milk Cookie finds Immense joy in picking up his husband and throwing him across his shoulder like some kind of really important sack

Whole Milk calls Dark Cacao "Cacao bean"

Dark Cacao loves Whole Milk Cookies cooking to a stupid extent

Dark Cacao loves playing with his husbands fluffy hair

the two of them will often help each other do their hair because they both just have SO MUCH of it

Dark Cacao, despite popular belief, is a flustered mess around his husband and can very often be found blushing like a madman whenever Whole Milk uses his strength

these two have the ABSOLOUTE WORST bedheads. Like, Cacao HAS to braid his hair before going to bed because otherwise the two of them will wake up tangled in it. And Whole Milk will just have an untamable afro.

uhh anyways. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[daftpatience]

Hi, I used to draw a lot but I've not drawn/created for a long time now, any tips to get back into it?

Or rather the whole thing about making art for yourself, I used to get a lot of attention for being good at art from other ppl and I'm not sure how to connect it back to myself again

I'm also contending with the Autism "It needs to be done in this way" and the ADHD "I can't focus for shit"

Also please don't worry if you don't know what to say, I'm just trying to get a variety of opinions to try and untangle my brain

Thank you in advance 💕

i think a good way to get back into creating *for yourself* whether its to come out of a dry spell or just to get back to creating things that you like, is what i call 'backtracking' (bearing in mind that my particular methods may only work for me! im lucky ive never struggled with focus when it comes to drawing things, but maybe some of these things will help as my main goal when drawing is to entertain myself!)

also before i move on this i think is valuable: you gotta draw things that you aren't gonna post sometimes. it's fun and fulfilling to make art for an audience, and wanting attention is not shameful (ITS HUMAN!) but also we live in panopticon times and i think its good to train your "i am alone doing something for myself and no one has to see it" muscles.

backtracking is a couple different things:

look back to when you were really young. what kinds of drawings were the most fun to do? what did you spend time on or get really into? for me, this was a few things! tracing cartoons, drawing up elaborate scenes of lots of little creatures doing a thing, and designing little characters as paper dolls and making their houses and little furniture and accessories and such to cut out and play with. also getting paint all over my hands (i still paint my whole hand whenever im done doing something with acrylics before i wash up! its stimming)! backtracking here is when you try to take those things and make use of them now. try to find that old joy and use it in a way that makes you happy today, even if it's something small or silly or embarrassing. it can really help you rediscover what parts of art make YOU happy!

if you're regularly drawing and in a slump, backtracking for me is stepping back and doing either more exercises and practising the things you feel like you already know how to draw (ie. studying angles of the face or pulling up imgs of rooms on pinterest to see how normal people arrange furniture etc.), or simplifying your drawings to a level that feels more relaxing and less stressful. (ie. chibis instead of more detailed characters etc.) i find i kind of fall back to chibis when i feel lost, and then sort of rebuild from there. its fun to let my style change as i grow!

ALSO! im telling your autism this for your adhd's sake (this is useful for anyone i think): if there is a part of art that you do not enjoy doing or find boring but you feel it is an important or necessary step in the process? the secret is it isnt! art is made up. if you hate lining, dont do it! if youre a digital artist and get caught up picking a brush every time because you feel like you need the perfect one? switch to mspaint for a bit to get the nerves out. it can be really freeing!

art is for having fun and fulfilling our need to create. the rules are all made up and not real. perfectionism is the little death that something something i forget. yeah

[im-out-of-it]

season 2, episode 1 part four continued

100. Magnus: you’re lucky you’re cute

101. it’s not like Alexander took hours working up the courage??????? Alec: I had to learn how to apologize so no big deal darling

102. Malecs first fight handled

I love seeing the emotion in both of their expressions from how hurt Magnus is, Alec realizing how his actions and words affected Magnus, and overcoming all of that while they have a discussion about it

103. I’m in awe of how they handled it. I watched the show first but when I read the books, this is how I wanted their relationship to be in the books. sadly we didn’t get that but at least the show committed and brought us this Malec. I couldn’t believe how toxic and unbearable Malec book version is after all those ugh book fans said it’s better. yeah, because they weren’t the main focus. show Malec always has my heart

104. I love how this little scene was improvised because Harry was trying to get Matt to smile

105. THIS IS THE SMILE WE LOVE

106. also can we talk about how Alec apologized twice but this is the time where he finally hears what Magnus is saying and he’s comprehending that. IM SORRY I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH

107. real talk- show Malec gets shit done. another one of my fav parallels coming up:

108. also on a real note, is there any parallel that I don’t love? (JUST THAT ONE THAT MAKES ME EMOTIONAL and maybe some know which one I’m talking about that hits season three)

109. and we shouldn’t be too hard on Alec because this is his very first relationship and he’s doing so well so far 👏🏼

110. Simon: it’s nice when that arrogant self conceited shadowhunter dick isn’t here

111. okay they actually look happy here

112. I think they’re nice together but I still believe Simon loves clary more than she loves Simon. because would she be around Simon if jace was a choice? would she chose Simon if jace was a choice?

113. might be the only time I approve of Jocelyn

114. this was on my last discussion post but I found the gif and that’s my reaction to listening to shadowhunters being hypocrites and dumb

115. well hello Alec

116. forgot to post this one also. ALEC JUST DECIMATING EVERYONE

117. Magnus: what the fuck, I just started

118. it’s a good thing alec has a powerful warlock on standby

119. but are we supposed to watch the Valentine and jace stuff and think jace is actually better and not turning into Valentine? because 1. he cuts Hodges hand off, 2. he joins Valentine and then when he has a chance to surrender himself, 3. he joins Valentine once again. Alec is going to be fighting for his fucking life for the consequences of jace’s actions. and this is what I mean, alec is always paying for his choices. I JUST WISH ALEC WOULD HAVE CUT HIM OFF FOR REAL (fantasy version of mine- alec cuts him off for real and Alec and Magnus and Izzy are so happy)

120. well this is awkward (posting Jocelyn one again because it’s nice to see someone trying to end jace, I appreciate the effort)

121. don’t you hate it when you go and kill some downworlders and your sister/want to be girlfriend and mom/not mom sees??????

122. aldertree: I don’t trust y’all to find jace so I got this and also keep them here

123. forgot to post this too. I love seeing clary’s “I think I know I’m better than you” irritating ass get handled by Alec in season one and now Izzy

124. Simon: im a lot faster so thank me

125. also note that instead of staying and returning to the institute, jace goes with Valentine. he has once again chosen to go with Valentine. so I don’t care what anyone says but he deserved to be arrested for all the shit he pulled PLUS PUT ALEC THROUGH. Alec has almost died twice by trying to save jace so far. everything that has happened since episode 13 of season 1- jace is 100% to blame.

125 is the number and that is it for season 2, episode 1 🥰 thank you for joining malecs first official fight discussion post and we still hate jace and clary debate 👏🏼 I’ll be doing the second one probably in a couple of days give or take. but thank you anyone who endures my posts and me ✨

[deadchaoticcosmos]

what are you looking at?

anyway salutations, i have finally made an intro post after a year of meaning to.

the beginning or the end, the end or the beginning

to all the people who have struggled with self harm

especially the ones who don't have the battle scars to prove it

so yeah hi,

some main shit you might want to know,

i am non binary/genderfluid(idk still fighting with my own fucking brain), i am also pansexual and i think i may be demi-sexual/demiromantic, idk ,you dont care about my silly brain not knowing shit about myself.

i am experimenting with the name dorian because my stars does that name have a chokehold on me, so you can refer to me as that or don't i don't mind, really you can refer to me as anything you want as long as it is not offensive and mean.

i am a minor but i am truly an old man, also a very hyper (at times), sophisticated 4 year old.

i am irish, i speak english and *not fluent,but one day* irish and french

personality= INFJ

also not to good with tones so if you could tell me that would be great

more random things♡

i am fucked in the head, but i am undiagnosed with probably a lot a shit but we love that!

umm idk i guess i am a poet?

i am trying to write a book but transferring it from my brain is a lot harder than expected

i am decent at art

and i like to read

also a big fan of nature and space and stars

also i just LOVE ART, I WISH I COULD CONSUME IT

oh yea do love school except for the social aspects especially love maths history french and science!

my ao3= DeadRABStar

also i am a slytherin

also big thanks to fan fic writers and just fan artists and fans in general , you mean the world to me and you deserve everything good in life

okay shit i like time

fandoms=

marauders, this is like my main thing right now and has been for a while

i kin everyone basically because my personality is all over the place and is making its own children somehow and now im making it everyones problem

i kin kinda all of them because i am all over the place with everything and my own personality cant chose shit for the life of it, but regulus the most

i kinda look like remus but with james potter glasses and instead of scars on my face, they are all over my arms and legs

ships♡= i can roll with anything but my preferences/ships i love and are obsessed with are

jegulus, starchaser, sunseeker, pandalily, rosekiller, wolfstar, dorlene, marylily, pete/benjy(reading a fic with that paring and am obsessed) nobleflower, quilkiller, narcissa/lilly, panda/xeno, bartylus, moonwater(idf with thus ship name though but there is no other to call them)plus any other ship really idc how small the ship gets love i shall love it unless i hate it cough princechaser and sometimes snilly and kinda any ship with severus cough, no offence

again no offence don't come at me but i don't like jegulily and i think regulus and lily would be best friends (?) like they are friends in my mind but idk, no hate

platonic ships i love but some i do also like as a couple sometimes, moonwater,prongsfoot, jilly, prongstail, james and remus, regulus and pandora, james and pandora, james with any of the slytherin skittles,pete and mary and any others i may be forgetting right now but give me some poeple and i would love their dynamic

i do have lots of controversial opinions on the black family(i love them your honor)

i feel like lily and petunia's relationship should be talked about more

and some golden trio ships=

drarry, hermine(?)/pansy, seamus/blaise, seamus/dean, ron/hermine, blaise/pansy and luna/ginny

(btw harry and luna are regulus and pandora in the next generation)

also FUCK JKR, i wish i could murder that bitch, we do NOT support her and her 'opinions' here, if you do get out, leave

feel free to talk to me about any of these topics i just listed

im kinda apart of the rioardion, cant spell for shit<3, universe fandom but not really

a little bit of lockwood and co. but i am really just a big fan of the books dont really interact with fandom

a new one but i am kinda already lowkey obsessed, shameless, no comment

i LOVE music, i listen to mainly rock or classical and some pop but really whatever i am in the mood for

some people are=

queen, bowie, tx2,abba, florence and the machine, the beatles, the rolling stones, chappell roan, conan gray, maisie peters, tv girl, girl in red, the smiths, the clash, elvis, elton john, mother mother, hozier, måneskin, blondie, slipknot, korn, cheap perfume, unörthadox ,my brain is fried and can't think of anything right now so i will update this (can you tell how gay i am yet)

some shows and movies=

psych, Princess bride, ferris bullers day off, the breakfast club, gilmore girls, clue, beetlejuice, saw, scream, friday the 13, nightmare on elm street, talk to me, heartstopper, derry girls, how i met your mother, dead poets society, that 70s show, seven brides for seven brothers, perks of being a wallflower, goonies, oceans 8,pretty in pink, room, heathers (winona ryder one), the simpsons, disengagement, shameless and again my brain is fried and can't think of anything right now so i will update this

love musicals but i think wicked is my favourite one, i saw it for the first time when i was really young and it's always kinda just stuck with my and im seeing it again in a couple weeks, however this might change because my feelings towards others are changing so who knows who will my favourite, anyway musicals are amazing

and again, feel free to talk to me about any of these topics i just listed

DNI ( DO NOT INTERACT) IF

you are, transphopic, homophobic or do not support lgbtq+, are racist, mean or anything else

we want nice, supportive, chill people here (nice and chill are kinda ekoej because i am neither but you get what i mean i hope)

you can vent to me if you want, i am here for you always, you don't have to be afraid here

that being said this is also kinda a vent account, sometimes i just like typing out my problems and tell you people because i feel like i can't tell anyone in real life, which is true

mental health is important

my Spotify (playlists)

https://open.spotify.com/user/31mpkfgmto566jbdd2hcn3j4wxzy?si=sa4cWVBFQTKOpF9uQTbp9Q

FREE GAZE, FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸 AND AGAIN IF YOU DON'T SUPPORT MY VIEWS ON THIS LEAVE

i will update this if i think of any thing else i want to say but feel free to come and chat with my in my asks box and ask about my opinions on certain shit, idfk, and also share your opinions and thoughts because i am a nosy person

my other accounts

@romulusfuckingtraitor (role play, remus)

@romulusfuckyoufuckingtraitor (idfk what this is but i mostly reblog political stuff, and if you scroll to the end the second post are resources to help Palestine 🇵🇸,now pinned)

@sendmetotheasylume (a shameless reblog blog, i did say it was only a reblog blog but i did make one post, do not take my word for shit fuck

@helpmedieplwease (drarry, golden trio era, also a bit of next gen(cursed child)

@begaydotumbler (marauders, mostly jeggy)

@slurpyjuice (aftg)

last updated 13/09/2024

[revehae]

how do you handle criticism of people saying it’s weird and shit like that for noncon? just posted one of my firsts and people are not happy 💀

this is a good question and i will try to teach you my ways of not GAF 😭 even though that’s lowkey just who i am Lol so i cant help you become me… also i just run my mouth so theres a tl;dr at the bottom

when i first started out, at least on this blog anyway, i think the most major help was the fact that i had 2 friends who i was already exchanging these thoughts with on discord; they just weren’t in fic form. this was important because for a long time i felt very alone in my liking for dark content… having people around me who i knew had similar interests as me was key! it’s basically kind of like having a support system when you’re in a rough place. it’s important to know that you’re not the weird one out. there are people who understand you and relate to you. these are the people you are seeking out.

granted, it wasn’t my first time writing noncon and i had posted a couple of dubcon-leaning posts on my main blog, but this was me testing the waters. when i began posting on revehae instead, i initially didn’t disclose that i was also lisired. that’s why i go by nisha here and yani on lisired. so yeah, i was a bit pussy at first! but eventually i was like man idgaf.

in between where i started and where i am now, i’ve never been heavily affected by anon hate because i just simply do not care what strangers on the internet have to say. it’s not like they’re saying it to your face or that they would if they had the opportunity. MOST of these people aren’t even brave enough to come off anon. if you think about it, they’re the little bitches. i also have a strong sense of who i am, so i know that i don’t do anything with malicious intent. i literally don’t come for people unless them come for me first. i just match people’s energy. if you’re not hurting anyone i don’t really see what the problem is

nowadays, most of me not caring just comes from the fact that i know my blog is an oasis for many people. the number of people that enjoy my content outweighs the number of people who leave hate. this can seem useless if you’re just beginning to post and your following isn’t that big, but it’s kind of like how in real life there will always be someone who doesn’t like you for whatever reason. you can’t please everyone, so you have to be selective about who you give your energy to. i feed off of the endless love and support from my followers! even if it’s just one positive reblog or comment, make it count! if there’s likes, obviously someone is enjoying it. also it’s not like i’m the only person in the dark content community. my mutuals, even if they’re in different fandoms, love the same depraved shit as me. it’s always worth supporting other content creators because the odds are that they will support you back! 💖💖💖

tl;dr — there are people who will enjoy what you post and as long as you’ve covered all your bases (left proper warnings, used the read more link, made it so that if anyone consumes your content they did it by choice and not by force) you have absolutely nothing to worry about. AND COMMUNITY!!!! my mutuals are my ride-or-dies!

by the way im checking out the fic right now LET ME SEE…

[fandomt4keover]

Random rant of how i genuinely hate angryhugs ( and glisten too i guess )

warning for angryhugs shippers and glisten lovers ( idc if you like angryhugs or glisten. I really don't. But just know every time they are mentioned i crash out kinda mentally )

Also this is kinda a long rant /srs

so this is really stupid but i actually despise angryhugs so much for almost no reason

almost.

it just makes me feel crazy /vneg

like bitch i don't wanna have to fear a SHIP bc SOME of the shippers are crazy as fuck and would probably dox me ( I would not like to get doxxed thanks. )

Also to those rp accounts- If I ever see any of you say " I-I would never cheat on Shrimpo!!!! " or " Grr.. I'll never cheat on Goob " or some shit on my shrimpbox posts SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ARE NOT GOOB OR SHRIMPO THIS IS BENTOBOX SO GTFO OF HERE YOU CUNT. GO ROLEPLAY ANGRYHUGS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN A NON-ANGRYHUGS POST OR SOMETHING???

i know not all the angryhugs shippers are like that but there's too much people that do that from what I've seen

it actually makes me crash out with how much i hate it. I leave a fanfic if it contains angryhugs. I go on another video if it includes angryhugs. /srs

the thing is i dont hate shrimpo ships ( i love disstrack (otp), shrimptank, and shrimptea ), its just angryhugs and only angryhugs

and i can only SLIGHTLY tolerate it if its shrimpo x boxten x goob ( but i just prefer it to be focused on shrimpo x boxten more. )

i dont hate angryhugs shippers, and idrc if you ship it, i wont hate you for it. But if you're THOSE kinds of shippers you'll be blocked. /srs

and glisten. Oh how i HATE glisten.

i didnt really care about him, but what the fuck shut up he does not need to be babied for fucks sake why are you so fucking excited about watching over him.

like yeah i feel bad for him too but i don't fucking baby him

" B-B-But Glisten suffered the mos- " Shut up SHUT THE FUCK UP just agree they all suffered man ( the mains are most brutal, not glisten )

let me list a toon for each tier ( i don't feel like doing it all )

Boxten is no longer shy. Instead, being a crazed maniac of a person he used to be ( plus the arms in his head )

Toodles was only a CHILD when she was a twisted, most likely confused on what was going on

Flutter is forever flying, and never stopping. It really has to hurt for her, doesn't it? Flying and chasing non-stop after toons that were once your friends?

Shelly became the thing she loved most, but at what cost? Toons remember her now, but at what cost? Her entire lower half is gone- replace by a dinosaur looking.. Thing..

while i do agree glisten suffered as well, he didn't suffer the most ( im not saying the others mentioned suffered the most, except shelly, but im saying how THEY suffered as well )

also about his twisted form when hes crazy WHY THE FUCK IS HE FASTER THAN PEBBLE????? If i could remove a toon it would be glisten.

also glisten is more than just being a """" gay fruity twink """" y'know? Cause it seems like some of you dont seem to realize that..

anyways other than these reasons i just really hate angryhugs and glisten just because i can and for no reason ( i actually hate them fyi ) /vneg

if you ship angryhugs or like glisten then sure, that's YOUR opinion and i won't hate you for it. Just know I'll try my best to NOT crash out irl /gen

also this is my opinion so before you say anything like "well actually _________" or some stupid shit shut up please and learn people can have different opinions /srs

[winxanity-ii]

hi i recently read your message about making makima!reader a poc and completely understand where youre coming from

as someone who isnt a poc, sure, it threw me off every now and then, but its not like i really minded it or thought it changed my reading experience

im currently loving your know no evil story and i think youre an amazing writer, but i think you probably should add a disclaimer at the beginning and in the story masterlist about specifying a noncanon skin color for the more sensitive readers 🤷

idk girlie, you do you, i think youre doing amazing but i just wanted to let you know cause theres a lot of people who get touchy if a reader isnt a fully blank canvas so having a disclaimer puts them more into a spot

if they see it at the beginning and theyre not into that shit, they dont gotta read it yk cause like thats just how things work out here

💀💀💀 Lol, re-read what you typed and then click my page to go to the pinned post and come back… No need to play the "other people may be upset" card. Girly pop, YOU’RE the "other people" who is bothered, but just got the audacity to type it out instead of going about your day, and that’s completely fine. But what’s not fine is wasting MY time and Beyoncé’s internet to say you’re upset that I used "tan" and "brown" for skin tones 😐

My writing aims to be inclusive and reflect the diversity in the world, which includes representing people of color. My stories are for everyone, but they also aim to give representation where it's often lacking.

If a character's skin color or identity isn't to your preference, that’s totally fine. There are countless other stories that emphasizes the "paler" skin tones, I promise—there's some out there for everyone. As for adding a disclaimer, once again, I believe my pinned post already addresses the inclusive nature of my writing, so if your reading comprehension is a bit low, I always make sure to put it in simple terms in bold colors and big letters as well.

Also, this was really weird and tone-deaf, and the fact you did this anonymously is sad (and also the main reason I won’t be doing what you suggested because I can’t tell if this is a joke or not 🤷🏾‍♀️) but yeah, thanks for reading??

My page is for the majority of the world—people with COLOR. So unless you’re as pale as a white cloud, I can’t help you because my writing is meant to reflect a diverse range of skin tones 😭💔

[princesseevee06]

TELL US ABOUT THE ROSE & VIOLET ROUTES!!! (if you want)

fundamentally they are just different flavors of mlm on wlw violence

ok in all seriousness though i have no idea where to even START because there is SO MUCH!!!! i cannot possibly cover it all in one post. so i will just give a basic rundown under the cut.

as i briefly addressed in some of my earlier posts, the rose/violet routes are the equivalent of the emotion and logic routes for ytr, w/ the difference being that the choice in the 2nd main game vote is between shin and sou instead of shin and kanna. i wanted to take a different approach tonally, since unlike kanna who is a total sweetheart, these two are Very Bitter and Vengeful (in other words ryoko is soooooo screwed no matter what she does LMAO). i tried my best to balance out both routes to make em have more of a bittersweet feeling

shin’s actions are still pretty much the same as they are canonly at the end of the 2nd main game. if ryoko votes for him then he will set up a Nice Good sara ai for her :) and if ryoko votes for sou then instead he will set up a Fake Bad sara ai :((( this difference ends up massively affecting ryoko’s psyche in each route so i will get into it

rose route sara ai scene: so yeah the express intent of the ai that shin sets up here is to torment ryoko. and like i said in my last post ryoko literally just punches the shit out of the monitor and breaks it. like when she realizes what’s happening she just says “no❤️” but she is of course still INCREDIBLY shaken up by it. she already feels so guilty over sara’s death, and she’s having to cope with the weight of everything else as well— she doesn’t know how much longer she can keep it together. my idea is that kugie would find ryoko crying in the room of rubble, and they’d have a very touching scene where kugie reassures ryoko she doesn’t have to handle everything by herself. that everyone is in this together and so kugie will always be there for her, the same way ryoko was for her :) it’s very sweet and i love them dhshhdh#hshx

so after ryoko gets back on her feet, she’s able to cope a bit better but throughout the events of chapter 3 she is still very much in a frail state. like, extreme emotional turmoil. yet at the same time she’s burdening herself with less of the load and learning to rely on her friends

violet route sara ai scene: in the violet route ryoko does get her touching goodbye with sara!!! yay!!! sara inspires ryoko to keep moving forward and not give in. she tells ryoko how much she meant to her as a best friend, and for a moment they just get to be sappy and sweet :,) so as ryoko leaves, she’s certain she can be confident now and she’ll be able to help everyone and oh god why is sou here

yeah if you assumed sou would also try to do something terrible here, you were right. although instead of taking a psychological approach like shin, he decides to go directly for ryoko’s jugular ^_^ i mean that so literally btw. when sou goes into the room of rubble and sees ryoko standing over shin’s corpse and yet still looking so hopeful something in him just Snaps. and he starts trying to choke her to death. awkward. he does not go through with killing her though. bc he realizes he has a “much better plan” (i will get to this in a little bit) anyways im sorry for sou beinngterrible i promise he gets better (he gets much worse but i promise hes still a sympathetic character in this au i promise i pr)

violet route ryoko is veeeeery interesting to me because while she’s able to keep it together better, and not so distraught over sara’s death anymore, in a way because she loves sara so much, she feels obligated to “live up to her name” after she’s gone, trying to stay strong and take everyone’s burdens unto herself not recognizing how unhealthy it is. but through this behavior she’s pushing herself away from others more, and as a result of that anzu later makes some very bad choices (murder) (it’s ironic because sara would certainly Not want ryoko to burden herself) (but ryoko also wants to be someone who sara could be proud of) (not realizing sara loves her just the way she is) (augh. can you tell im normal about them)

OK ENOUGH RYOKO now let’s get to the awful awful green(teal?) haired men and their terrible decisions. starting with shin

shin acts pretty similar to how he does in the logic route here. very much “i have no allies >:( i’m only working with you out of necessity” behavior. although while he is initially hellbent on vengeance against ryoko and the others, he sort of just ends up…faltering. i don’t see him harboring as much antagonism against ryoko as he does against sara, partially because she doesn’t have the crazy win percentages sara does and also partially because she has more of a blunt bundle-of-sunshine personality, and really couldn’t keep a secret to save her life, making her seem less suspicious to him overall. so i definitely see shin being “softer” here, still being clear about his resentment but less in a “i’m going to kill you one day” way and more in a “i want nothing to do with you after this” way

sou on the other hand. jesus christ he is on his LAST STRAW. ok idk if you’ve seen that one chapter 3 cut content scene anon but i decided to take inspiration from that for sou’s actions here because i’m incredibly abnormal about it. (IDK IF THE TRANSLATION IM WATCHING IS ACCURATE BUT STILL…) basically in it sou asks mr. chidouin/meister if he can end the death game, and then he basically resolves that “to end it as soon as possible, i’ll kill everyone myself” which. ok girl. and then meister replies “it’s broken you after all” WHICH. OK GIRL? whay does that mean.

so yeah his ingenious “plan” in ytr is that in order to prevent another death game from ever happening again, he wants to destroy the game from the inside by killing everyone at asunaro + all of the participants. his logic behind this is that there’s nothing for him to go back to, he betrayed asunaro and the person he betrayed them for in the first place is dead. he also figures he’s likely to die soon if another main game rolls around and so well. if he’s going to go out might as well go out in flames!

of course this plan immediately has a wrench thrown in it when his mother shows up and he is plunged headfirst back into childhood trauma. and also the fact that he truly does care about both kai and kugie (and maple if she’s still alive at this point) even though he’s desperately trying to act like he doesn’t. so much like his cringefail best friend he ends up being much less of a villain throughout chapter 3 and more just a Guy Who’s Having a Really Bad Week

ok i cannot. write anymore i am so sorry if this is completely incomprehensible iwas drafting this at 1am. but if you are interested in hearing more i give full permission to you (or anyone else reading this) to ask me about specific events that happen in chapter 3 on either route because i would be very glad to talk about them 👍

[taeiun]

TAEIUN UPDATE (05/07/24)

hello everyone!! im not sure how many of you still keep up with this blog and i am so sorry for being inactive for so long (a full month sheesh…) and for not posting anything for longer than that! i have a couple updates, some good some bad, and a few changes i want to make to this blog.

TL;DR: canceling the beomgyu smau + possible future redo, temporary archive of this blog, future works planned.

O1. from the lack of of updates and the low interactions ive gotten, i think you guys can already guess that the beomgyu smau i posted back in march was going to be terminated at some point. it’s not that ive lost full interest in the plot. im just unhappy woth the setup and also dont have things flushed out to where i think an smau would work as a format. i do hope to publish it again some time in the future but for now, that post will be taken down.

O2. again, based off my inactivity i dont think it’s much of a surprise for me to say im going to be temporarily archiving this blog. that doesnt mean im never coming back! its just that right now i dont know how long it’ll be before i get back into a consistent writing schedule again. think of it just as an extended hiatus; the main difference is that im calling it an archive in case i dont come back at all. ofc ill announce if im going for good but this is just in case.

O3. i dont think i’ll be gone for good (knock on wood) so while i stay kind of inactive, there a few things im changing up here.

declutterring: going to be deleting spam posts and tidying up my blog to make the viewing experience more pleasurable!! i have a second blog where i ramble and shit post so i dont need this one for it.

reposts of old works: i dont have the time as of now to be working on brand new shiny content, so i hope people dont mind me possibly reposting a couple of my fave older stuff from my previous blog.

O4. i am crafting new things! they just wont be out for a while. a few things on my mind are:

zb1 apocalypse au: i have standalone fics for all the members and i hope to get this done at least before calling it quits. taerae my boy…

a couple different possible supernatural!skz smau mini series: little bit on the fence with these ones bc im not fully into skz (despite saying i write for them lol) so im not sure how much passion i can put into this project. if not the mini series, then i’ll be working on a minho fic within that au instead!

i think that about sums up where this blog is going. in general ive been good. busy with school and idea of uni but good-ish. ive been enjoying life for itself and got closer with one of my irls which has been so nice :DD im also facing a bit of a writer’s slump bc of the mental switch from a heavy math and science academics semester to an only analytical and writing semester. honestly, i really do want to keep this blog around. its just hard when my interest in kpop as a whole has dwindled down so fast? like its crazy how quickly i kind of got over this phase ngl- but yeah! thats it for me <33

thanks for sticking to the end of this if you did! no hard feelings if you didnt. its funny i say that bc they wouldnt be able to see this if they didnt but oh well. that’s all from me for today!!

— ur fave, sol / jun.

[arom-antix]

feel free to publish this...wish I was braver but *shrugs* first lemme give you n everyone else brave enough to not hide under anon (like me, lmao) ur flowers for speaking up b/c this drama feels like a long time coming 

one of the weirdest parts of Samurai's deal is how she acts against her own interests. at the end of the day, ur main goal is to get ppl to read this 300K fic that youve spent years on, right? 

which, fair. no issue with that

heres what I do have an issue with, Samurai: you acting like no one in the fandom respects ur writing talent when ur stats tell a different story. (notice i said respects ur writing talent. not respects ur social media presence...more on that later)

anyway, Samurai: be so fucking forreal right now

calling urself "an underdog"?! (if anybody doesnt know what im talking about, @arom-antix screenshotted a post from Samurai's social media where she says she doesnt wanna do fandom events b/c she would just get ignored) 

do you really have the right to call urself an underdog when you have 600+ kudos n 1000+ comments on ur fanfic??? I have friends in newer n bigger fandoms who are multichap fic writers who would commit murder for those numbers. n let me add that their fics have been complete for a minute. unlike Samurai's fic which she completed *checks notes* this past fucking weekend 

the funny part is its giving Katsuki Yuuri thinking hes lower than dirt even when hes made it to the gpf/is japans best figure skater. that screenshot you included where she's like "my stats are nothing to be proud of..."

like ???? 

does she not realize how fucking insulting that is to allllll the fic writers who have nowhere near the numbers she does? im not a writer but if i was n saw that itd make me feel like shit. like a minami kenjirou 'you dont have a dark past' kind of thing lmao. n to that point, its like you said earlier. its fine to have anxiety n to not be perfect in dealing with it. but when you dont sort that shit out with a therapist n instead make ur insecurity an entire fandoms problem over n over again is it really that big a fucking puzzle why ur losing readers? or why nobody wants to reblog ur shit?  

if shes really that clueless n cant see how ppl might be turned off by her personality (the reverse from before: im not saying shit about her actual writing here which i think is pretty decent) it makes me wonder, like...

why did her beta reader never sit her down? why didn't her friend @cecebeanie ever tell her "stop being a dick on social media ur ruining everything ur working so hard for?" or, maybe they did n she told them to fuck off because she seems to think she knows everything. 

ok, imma stop there before i really go off lmao. thank you again for being a go-between for ppl too scared to chime in by name. appreciate youuuuuu <3

Thank you very much for this ask. Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with not feeling comfortable with publically including yourself in Internet scuffles by name. I'm glad to be the middle man so people like you get to have an anonymous platform to speak through.

And yeah, a bunch of what you've said is exactly what my point was with pointing out Samurai's simultaneous lament of her "bad" stats and dismissal of any explanation of why their stats might look like that. Also, let me reiterate: There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling insecure or demotivated by something that someone else might find incredibly motivating. We're all different and have different PoVs. However, there's a difference between feeling insecure and dealing with it privately and feeling insecure and then making that everyone else's problem by vagueposting and getting upset with the people supporting you for not being enough. I'm not saying you can't post whatever you want on your socials but if you do you also have to accept that people might find that off-putting. That's just how it is. Especially if those posts imply, whether on purpose or not, that any support you might still have doesn't count because it's not what you were hoping for.

And there's a good point in this ask that I want to highlight: The implication in a lot of Samurai's posts that they're not respected leaves a sour taste in the mouths of those who read those posts. Contrary to what Samurai's way of posting would have you believe, they have plenty of readers who very much do respect their writing. And if you respect someone and then that someone repeatedly publically laments how no one respects them, you're going to feel disrespected and ignored, the exact things Samurai is so upset about being (see links at the bottom of this post to find the full discussions of Samurai's online attitude). It's quite ironic, if I'm honest. It's basically a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you constantly insist that no one cares about you, eventually you'll convince the people who do care about you that maybe they shouldn't because you only bring negative attitudes and no one wants that.

And so, you're now in exactly the situation you feared so much specifically because you couldn't let yourself or the people around you exist without that frustration of yours being at the forefront of every conversation. Trust me, I'm heavily medicated for anxiety, I know how easy it is to fall into a cycle of only thinking about your fears. But if you want to escape them, you either have to contront them head on or learn to live in spite of them. If you only ever focus on how much they're dominating your life, they'll just consume you and ruin you.

I know I've been pretty harsh in my posts about this situation but if you're reading this, Samurai, know that I don't want you to suffer. I don't want you to leave the Internet or stop doing the things you love. I know you love writing, I can tell it's a big passion of yours and I know you love YOI. I encourage you to keep engaging with your passions and finding joy in whatever you love. However, you also need to let others do the same. Even if their "non-academic" posts lessen your enjoyment of what the ideal fandom experience would be, too bad. You don't get to decide how others engage with fandom. The only thing you get to decide is how you engage. If other people's posts annoy you, you're not required to look at them. Of course it sucks if there are very few people and posts you enjoy when you'd rather have a litany of stuff to engage with but that's just how being on the Internet is. You don't get to control these things. Be the change you want to see in the world but don't look down at others for not sharing those same goals of change. You do you, they'll do them.

Just because you prefer your way of doing fandom doesn't make it better than anyone else's and either you recognise that and get over yourself or people won't want to interact with you. End of. That's just how it is. People don't like interacting with people who make them feel lesser and the way you're interacting with the fandom at the moment is very much making people feel like that. I know, I know, you don't intend for that to be the takeaway, but it is. That's how you come across. And if you don't know how to not come across that way, you're allowed to ask.

I know you have friends such as Cecebeanie who you can talk to about this. I know you probably don't want to talk to me but if it comes down to it, I don't hate you and would love to help you if you'd let me. Again, I would not be shocked if you don't want anything to do with me ever again. I am kinda repeatedly coming after you. I wouldn't want to talk to me even if I agreed with the criticism. But if it ever becomes relevant, I do not hate you and while I have my hang-ups about you, I don't need to be BFFs with someone just to talk to them. You're not an idiot. You're not stupid. I know you're not. But you're behaving really immaturely and irresponsibly, both generally and towards individuals. That does not make you a lost cause.

While I don't have high hopes that you'll actually take any of my criticism to heart, if you decide to give a redemption a try, I'd gladly help if you'd let me. I don't want to crucify you. I just want you to do better for the sake of everyone, including yourself.

That became longer than intended. Anyway, thanks again for the ask, anon. For anyone else who has something they want to say, my ask box is always open, regardless of whether you agree with me or not. I don't cherrypick who gets to voice their opinion in a public debate. I'll be answering every ask regardless. And choosing to be anonymous, regardless of what stance you take, is also nothing to be ashamed of. I totally get it if you want to voice an opinion or comment on this situation but don't want to be publically tied to it. That's totally fine. It is kind of a lot. Especially considering how many have mentioned being afraid of retaliation from Samurai, I don't mind being the middle man at all. Ask away with whatever you want to add to this discussion.

Thank you for the ask, anon.

Links to the two main threads this discussion is running through: Thread one Thread two