#yeah i'm still not over this obviously
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Thinking about the time recently I was hanging out with these two people, A and B. A is like 8 months pregnant and B is clearly a "kid person", she's all excited and asking questions like "When's it due? Do you know the gender? Have you thought about names yet?" I, on the other hand, am not a kid person and do not give the smallest shit.
Then B pulls out her tobacco and rolling papers and goes "You don't mind if I smoke, do you?" and starts rolling a cigarette, sitting right next to A. In my mind I'm like 'what the fuck' but A says "Oh no, go right ahead! I actually like the smell :)"
Listen. Like I said, I'm not a kid person. I'm also pregnancy-phobic and find the entire concept of pregnancy honestly kind of horrifying. But for fuck's actual sake, YOU DON'T SMOKE RIGHT NEXT TO A PREGNANT PERSON! You gotta respect the unborn baby! They can't protect themself, you gotta do it for them! Jfc is it that hard to step outside to have a cigarette?!
#yeah i'm still not over this obviously#random thoughts#cosmo gyres#personal#pregnancy mention#smoking mention#having a baby should not be as easy as it is#getting pregnant should not be something you can do so easily#you should have to pass some kind of parenting quiz before you're granted an injection of the hormones that allow you to have kids or sth#sorry. i have strong feelings about this and i know not everyone will share my opinions#but even though i am the opposite of a kid person: kids are SO IMPORTANT#taking care of them the right way is so important. both physically and mentally.#they literally do not know about so many of the dangers in the world so it is OUR responsibility as adults to look out for them#and if you're going to carry around your unborn child in your belly and sit right next to a smoker and say 'go ahead! i like the smell!'#or on the other hand: if you're going to whip out your fucking cigarettes RIGHT NEXT TO A PREGNANT PERSON#then you should expect criticism. jfc. i despair of humanity sometimes
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Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)
#dc comics#dc#batfamily#batman#damian wayne#stephanie brown#tim drake#dick grayson#cassandra cain#duke thomas#anyway. zdarsky run sure is something huh?#its still so funny to me that half of 148 was leaked a few days before like someone has it OUT for that book over at bleeding cool ig#i don't necessarily think this theory will come true I'm just imagining how stupid it would be if it did#I'm not super happy with the dialogue in the cass+duke+dick comic but i felt my og dialogue might've read too fanon#mainly just bc cass' last sentence was originally shorter/just ellipses and duke said smthin like ''wait? villain arc?''#which you could easily find in wayne family adventures. even tho it would've been appropriate for this situation 😭#now the dialogue just sounds kind of generic (esp cass') and it's BOTHERING ME AUGHH. this is the comic book fandom panopticon /j#anyway Bruce is in the retirement home in this scenario /j#me n my friends were talking over discord and came up w the cursed scenario that jason is tims robin in this (apart of the 'redemption' arc#-that he's been nail gunned with in this run. god this run is so weird when it comes to jason. like it doesn't outright dislike him-#-like it clearly does damian and (more obviously) cass steph and duke) but the tone of everything w jason is still bizarre#god. anyway yeah i didn't draw him but please picture grown man tank Jason in the robin undies (ala tt 03 but dare i say better)#also the dick being silly sketch was bc the issue i was reading had damian refer to dick as 'jolly'#specifically like ''unreasonably jolly'' or something like that (god i love when ppl find dicks cheerfulness deeply unsettling hehehe)#and i thought it was so funny. bc damian met dick when we has going through his ''bruce is dead'' depression-#-and STILL thought that dick was extremely unserious. he sees happy dick and is like ''what is wrong w you. genuinely''#but at the same time he loves it#i need to stop reading their batman and robin run so scatteredly (or i can just reread nightwing must die...always a possibility)#anyway yeah 👍 bad sketches be upon you#mine
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The first thing I see when I wake up is the oncoming brick towards my face that is finalfest being revealed. What
#what the fuck???#holy Shit?#it makes me sad ngl. to realise like. yeah thats gonna be it#splat 3 isnt *over* obviously but. thats the finale#i had hope that we'd get more and that it was only the catalog seeing 2 years of updates but. man#I mean splat 2 got fests after the final one. we'll still get more for a bit after I'm sure#splatoon 3
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The brainworms are winning, clearly (Patreon)
#Doodles#Osmosis Jones#Ozzy#Drix#Thrax#As if it wasn't bad enough when it was just Doran oh no - I knew I'd want a separate tag for this in earnest at some point ahhhh#Damned#Alright sure lol good enough - I'll go back and edit the tag in a bit#I just can't help it wahh the Institute is such a fun and interesting setting it scratches my brain in Such a way#It's been really fun poking around to see who's there but there are some who I'm like ''Why wasn't [x] there? :0''#Some make sense lol like characters that didn't exist/come into the cultural vogue until after the game started or ended#Totally understand that - and it's still really fun to speculate how they'd react! Very enjoyable!#But others - like the above - I'm just like But they existed before the game and are such fun characters! Why!#Neverminding that Osmosis Jones was yet another box office flop in an impressive lineup of likewise siblings oof lol#It'd be such a good movie......if only (lol) Like I love it! But yeah it's still pretty rough haha#Gosh if the animated sections aren't beautiful tho hh <3#The show's even rougher - like why choose a nearly PG-13 movie to turn into a Y-10 (at the Most) cartoon? The tone shift is so jarring lol#So yeah! Why weren't these characters a more popular draw five years later! That's practically still pop culture! Lolol#No I'm well aware I'm probably The entire pool of people interested in this crossover but hey - I offer >:3c#Obviously I had to have Ozzy judging me for subjecting him to the Institute - this is what you get for being a fave Oz <3#Thrax is All over him (a criminal) and Ozzy (a cop) being equalized in the same prison uniform lol - I mean yes but actually no#It's an escape game of course he wants out#I have way too much fun making ''real person'' profiles wagh I've already made a bunch of backstory stuff helpppp#The names are pulled around from the various voice actors/real names based on character names which was Quite fun#And of course Oz had to get punched :) That meme's not completely dead yet is it lol#But really it was just fun posing ahhh I'm really rather pleased with it <3 Excited to scene-stitch that one together too#Drix fussing over Oz is my favourite ahhhh yesss <3 <3#Can you tell that hunched-over Thrax was my first pass? Here's a hint - he doesn't have a burned finger there!#I wrote up his profile after that one and forgot to add it afterwards haha but yeah! Just barely touched on in-fic so far lol#And then him in his proper clothes.... Look all I'm saying is that I was uniquely primed in my media diet to enjoy Vargas lol
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I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.
Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3
#personal#i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week#i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here#but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting#i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday#where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get#after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks#but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that#what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed#so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try#because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times#which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even#so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call#from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today#and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out#'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out#because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own#i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still#but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously#so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me#i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but#at least i'd know#anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing#sorry
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ovo whispers menacingly abt his grandstanding .
#(you can grandstand and be impulsive and prone to violence and have a terrible temper without being arrogant thanks)#(the closest he ever gets to saying he's above anyone else is w/ the jotuns if you really squint at it and he only ever said-)#(- that he wanted to use /force/ aka /violence/ to get them to submit to his rule bc otherwise he views them as DANGEROUS)#(based not only on historical /fact/ but cultural differences boogeymanning and seeing firsthand how they-)#(-MURDERED SOME OF HIS PEOPLE???? AND BROKE INTO HIS HOME???? ON CORONATION DAY????)#(he doesn't act like heimdall or the warriors or sif or even loki is below him. he wouldn't /ask them/ for permission otherwise)#(he even asks the humans-he-just-met for permission a la jane and then respects their decisions and apologizes for being rude abt the mug)#(and the one time he says 'know your place' to loki is when loki is actively bUTTING INTO A CONVERSATION that thor is being ridiculous abou#(bc to thor it's about /winning/ the argument with laufey and he's totally losing track of his goal to try and figure out wtf the jotuns)#(were doing ///in asgard inside the palace IN THE VAULT on CORONATION DAY///.)#(arrogance is specifically thinking you are inherently better than anyone else bc you exist)#(thor very clearly demonstrates selfish desires that translate to poorly thought out deeds)#(eg: taking it directly to laufey instead of trying to take a step back and figure it out in OTHER WAYS before a direct confrontation)#(and he also demonstrates overblown self-confidence.)#(eg the “i have no plans to die today” / “none do.”)#(that's being overconfident in his own abilities that's still not arrogance.)#( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page .#( salt to taste . ) — in this house we love the actual main character . crazy i know .#tbd#(thor expresses boastfulness and pride similarly to his whole culture of over-exaggerating ur war stories)#(his vice is letting that vanity get to his head and fueling increasingly impulsive and stubborn decisions)#(out of the sheer and desperate desire to prove he's good enough to take up such a heavy mantle as the crown of asgard + nine realms)#(but he doesn't just look at other people and go 'oh yeah i'm so totally better than you just because i exist')#(he's also not a lightning mcqueen who actually DOES see himself above the rustees cars and the route 66 cars)#(goes out of his way to make that abundantly clear and wants actually nothing to do with any of them in pursuit of his own gains)#(only to finally figure out he's not all hot shit and slows tf down to understand and enjoy life as part of society not above it)#(he literally flies of the handle because he fully believes the jotunar actually plotted an entire elaborate scheme)#(SPECIFICALLY in the effort to exploit him as the green thumb weak link as Newly Instated King who Doesn't Know What He's Doing)#(And therefore will OBVIOUSLY do a terrible job because he's not odin and can never be odin but he /needs/ to be like odin bc odin is stron#(HE doesn't know it was loki's plan. he doesn't know it was /loki/ who timed it to the coronation.)
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also another thing to say about staring at this "suddenly seymour" image and holding it so gently in my hands
their Pink & Yellow 😭💖
#and a chance to break out this higher res version again. thanks william for this image in [being in it] & [posting it] doubly#at this juncture i recognize that even for fired off / revisiting posts like this yeah i'm breaking out all the categorical tags#lsoh#will roland#seymour krelborn#audrey Has the pink hair but double checking it sure seems like seymour only has this yellow buttonup paired w/it for This Scene#but now i'm thinking about all his other costume pieces seen like Yippee love the grey dodgers sweater Yay love the other(?) grey sweater#that's under an orangey brown short sleeved buttonup yay red jacket (over the dodgers sweater?) Yippee grey baseball cap#living for the pants with the long rectangles down the knees reinforcements. obviously the plaid pants here are excellent#overall warmth if leaning into / involving neutrals....but not this brightest yellow till Right Here#brightest as we/they deserve. pink & yellow a fantastic combination as we/they deserve.#interpreting audrey's dress here as like well in mourning as a mere technicality. still with Brightest accessorizing / flair b/c of course
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tw: cannibalism, (slightly) graphic depictions of violence and HEAVY elements of horror will be ahead, so i'm going to put this under a 'read-more' if you'd rather skip out on this one.
so they looked around for a bit, and that's when they found it. this blood trail going down the floor of the hallway, which was already kind of scary, though it was nothing compared to the sound of someone's ringtone suddenly resounding from one of the rooms in the back (think one of those love songs with sort of creepy vibes to them like ' unchained melody. ') so, once your muse gathered enough courage, they decided to proceed down it even though something inside of them was screaming that something seemed wrong. and it seemed like they were right because once they reached the back, they found a dead body just... pressed up against the wall with blood spattered behind them. and there were other spots of the wall spattered with blood as well.
i feel like, for a character that's supposed to be pretty horror-oriented, that this account has been kind of lacking in content related to that lately, SO imagine this scenario, y'all. your muse is friends with or just cares about barton in some way. and thus, whenever they find out that he's attracted the ire of someone dangerous + that he's been missing for WEEKS, they assume the worst and try to find out his location. which leads them to this already creepy, dilapidated, and abandoned mortuary. and they honestly didn't know what they were expecting once they entered it, but it certainly wasn't this deafening silence, and there seeming to be... no one around?
so, you try to circle around to find out what the hell is going on, but then you see the thing that barton is hunched over is a body and a third one on the autopsy table in the room. and your muse can't help but blanche + feel like they've just stumbled into the lions den, because barton is not only SO beat up, but he's eating the person below him. and it's absolutely horrific because whenever they gasp at the sight is when barton finally looks up at them.
it was ALL over this corpses' face, though, as it appeared like they died from some sort of brutal blunt force trauma. but there's also another blood trail that is smeared across the floor up and under one of the doors in the back, which they are REALLY questioning whether they want to open now. they choose to do so with their eyes closed after remembering that barton would do the same for them (and by that, i mean he would want to save them JSJSJ), and all they can see when they open them is the back of barton hunched over something, or someone as you discover while getting closer to him. and it's like he is either ignoring you or hasn't heard you enter the room because he's still focused on whatever he was doing.
and there is just NOTHING behind those eyes even though he's got a copious amount of blood dripping down from his lips and dripping down his chin + neck. like JSJSJ i don't know about you guys, but i would be sooo scared because not only is this NOT normal behavior for him at all, it's god damn terrifying to see someone cannibalize you someone else. and so if he were real, along with me being in this situation, i probably wouldn't talk to him for a while because i wouldn't even know where to begin AHHH
#tw: blood.#like OMG. just the concept of not knowing exactly what happened but seeing that barton looks pretty much completely broken here-#tw: mentions of murder.#tw: (slightly) graphic depictions of violence.#tw: disturbing content in general.#tw: horror.#tw: cannibalism.#i just... i blame myself for playing video games like outlast whenever it comes to me creating frightening stuff like this JSJSJ#and is EATING someone while he's at it is... i have no words. i hope i didn't scare any of you guys with this scenario building-#thing of mine bc i would feel really bad if i didn't NGL. i'm obviously not trying to condone violence or cannibalism here-#i just think that it's important to show just how horrific barton can really be as a character and how even villain's have a breaking-#point though OFC that doesn't make anything he did justified. once again barton was just using something he knew would help him-#regain control of the situation which would be violence in this case even though it's not right AT ALL and is so chilling#that it may or may not make him look monstrous 😬 though like i was saying before whatever they did to him had somewhat contributed-#to him becoming like this though barton still has to take responsibility for his actions and so... yeah. IDK how y'alls muses-#would deal with something like this but i know i would be wanting to nope out of there as soon as i saw him hunched over someone NGL#and quite possibly time for at leasttt a psych eval because something happened and it was NOT good like i was saying before
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I Believe...Steddie
I normally don't mind angst (though I avoid drama fics in general). Miscommunication is the biggest trope in romance, so I'm all for it, but for some reason Steve x Eddie fics / drabbles where Eddie still thinks of Steve as Steve THE KING Harrington always sit weirdly for me. Sometimes, if the Upside Down didn't happen (AUs in general) or pre-UD setting, maybe -- sure, then that could work. But close to canon fics where Eddie lives and Steve legit confesses to him? Always just -- strikes me as wrong.
Finally realized why -- it's literally the antithesis of canon Eddie. Canon! Eddie is quick to acknowledge Steve has changed. He literally runs up to him in the Upside Down while a bunch of madness is happening and where he has every right to be consumed by his own shit-tastic situation, but instead, he's telling Steve how he is a great guy and has changed.
Can Eddie be bitchy and prejudice? Yes.
Does Eddie have grudges against jocks / the popular crowd? Yes.
But he also goes full on bowing gentlemen for cheerleaders (going out of his way to help Chrissy and make her smile) and he's quick to acknowledge Steve's not that same popular AH anymore.
With Steve's bitchiness not aimed at him, Eddie would be eating his Honeycomb and snickering when old habits popped back up, and maybe he'd feel conflicted about jocky Steve, complaining about going to games or something until somebody smacked some sense into him. Totally believe tension and disbelief about one liking the other or some bias about things, but I just can't see Steve proclaiming his love or whatever and Eddie assuming it is a trap or trick or prank or something.
Maybe he'd think Steve was confused. Maybe he'd assume they were doomed, but I can't see him blaming Steve for that or blowing up their relationship IF Eddie accepted the confession and they started dating. Eddie's way more down on himself.
If someone can explain how it makes sense, please do. I'd love to enjoy all Steddie tropes, and that one seems popular lately, but where my brain sees so many problems with them getting to the confession point or even a number of big arguments that could happen afterward due to outside aspects, those two strike me as highly tactile, highly clingy romantics who would be convinced they were the height of discrete while practically fused, constantly touching and being snide little judgy dudes together.
#steddie#Steve x Eddie#Eddie Munson#Stranger Things#Only way Eddie doesn't see how Steve's changed is if the Upside Down doesn't exist but then Steve might not have changed#the second Steve asks him out Eddie is 100% in#won't accept anything different#Eddie is a drama king but he's the the sort to be clingy and pushy and cause problems by being too tactile and obvious in a homophobic town#which is why I 100% believe fics where Eddie and Steve fight over Steve refusing to come out or leave Hawkins#Despite also 100% believing Eddie would understand#frankly I fall for all the tropes EXCEPT Eddie not believing (in a canon compliant Upside Down having universe)that Steve has changed#where are my double date fics with Eddie and Steve taking out two girls only to get dumped because they spent more time chatting themselves#What about the fics where Eddie sets Steve up with a metalhead girl only for Steve to be like 'wow I'm super into this'#but then he realizes partway through he is 100% imaging she's Eddie#Or Steve setting up Eddie on a double date only to have a 'oh no I fucked up' moment as he realizes halfway through that he loves Eddie#Steve: Cool Eddie might score (*and it was at that moment he realizes he fucked up) I don't want Eddie to score#Give me hooking up duo who 'just like making out' and 'just aren't ready to get back out there yet' who feel pressured to do so#and they end up throwing hands over it and banging#Eddie: So...that happened. | Steve: Do you think Dustin was right? | Eddie: No way that butthead is right. | Steve: But what if he is?#Eddie: Obviously we can't tell him. | Steve: But we can still make out right? | Eddie: Fuck yeah#Give me dumb bets between guys friends inspired by Steve trying to relate to Eddie like he used to Tommy
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Update on Town Square:
I got in and it is fun :3 you can just like. Choose a cookie to mess around as. I decided to be Alchemist.
Except apparently there's ALCHEMIST CONTENT IN THIS UPDATE??????? and I don't know how to get to it 😭😭 I saw someone else ask that in the middle of running around the square and I just. Started circling them dndjdjdjdnmd
Btw just wanted to highlight these parts of the title screen since I didn't really show my appreciation for them earlier.
(also also I love Granola Cookie already just-)
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#alchemist cookie#Btw I haven't posted much about witch's castle but I am incredibly cracked at that game and am having fun#Even if it is uh. A bit buggy sometimes dndnndndndnd#Look when I was like 9 I ascended to godhood at gardenscapes reached my full potential there and the skills carried over#(Ok I'm exaggerating obviously but-)#I probably should post more. Gingerbright says Yippee like an autism creature-#I'm still waiting to get alchemist in that game I wanna see her room decor stuff 😭 and I don't wanna look it up online-#It would be so easy to but I wanna get it in my own...#Same with vampire's but I actually have him you just get him for free#Also the little favorite items just. I need my lore okay I need my lore-#I might actually give in and look it up eventually i'm dying to see dndnndndndndndd#Yeah I just. Idk I'm very happy right now.#Ok well school's been making Gaming a bit difficult but that's just because we had a lot of projects and stuff but things should calm down
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WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE FROM CALIFORNIA
#uhh more venty shit down in the tags#likee tw for csa or grooming or whatever idk#like uhh my bf (a complicated topic) is from california#and uhh yeah basically i have an ex gf that i broke up with bc I'm a shitty person#and i cheated on her with predators multiple times ykyk#and a) wanted to avoid guilt b) obviously staying with her was wrong c) she's a really good person and i wanted to feel worse so ykyk#and uhh we're still close friends#she really should hate me bc stuff but oh well that's a vent for another day#and yeahh a while back when she came over and we started talking mental health shit#and i impulsively was like “hey how about we troll this bloke that has been trying to get back in contact with me?”#uhh he's like 38 or something and uhhh we sexted for like a day .#while i was dating my current boyfriend.#wow i really am a shitty person#and then yeah we had been texting a little for like the previous 3 days#so me and ex gf kinda went along with whatever he was saying#until he called and realised there was 2 off us and blocked me#ANYHOW YEAH HE WAS FROM CALIFORNIA#and after that event i randomly started feeling intense hate for ex gf every once in a while???#I'm not exactly sure why but oh well that did happen#and anyhow yeah a few months ago#like just before i broke up with her i think#she recommended the song dogbird by madds buckley#i nearly cried when i listened to it lmao it's far too real#i really recommend it#but yeah i was already like pushing her away at that point and that song is basically about that#(also very sapphic)#and yahh this morning i was feeling Sad and i randomly remembered this song and i was like “damn that's on topic ima listen to it again”#it's even realer than i remembered lmao#and yeah guess where the girlfriend-that-was-pushed-away was mentioned to be from in that song?#FROM FUCKING CALIFORNIA
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I've never heard of emts working only at events? What's that like for you if you don't mind my asking?
Yeah, there are ambulance companies that staff certain events, but there's some event specific companies out there lmao. For me specifically, it's almost entirely college events, whether it's happening on a campus or not. It's not great, usually pretty boring, but it's better than being on an ambulance or in a hospital. We do get actual emergencies sometimes, but usually it's just getting drunk people to the tent or giving out water and bandaids lmao. Again, boring as fuck, but I chose this over working on a 911 rig, so that's on me 😔 if I'm being so real tho, other than my coworkers, the best part of the job is the food lmaoooo it's so good and all the food trucks/food booths give discounts or free food to us depending on the location and event. And there's almost always a ton of downtime, so I basically just get paid to sit there and vibe for the most part
#not snz#when i say i love my job i mean i love very specific parts of it lmao#idk if I've said it here before or not and this is gonna sound so bad coming from someone working in healthcare#but i don't like patients lmao#i love the book stuff and i love everything in theory and i know how everything works and I'm very enthusiastic about it#but man do i not like patients ahskaksk#there are exceptions obviously but those are few and far between#it's why i love being an emt at my fire station bc we don't reslond to medical calls#like I've done medical calls there for the public but very rarely bc people either approach us or we stumble upon them#so i really only do my emt things on the people i know and i love that#i love my coworkers so I'm always happy to make sure they're okay and help them out when they're not#but i feel nothing for the public and i didn't realize i genuinely couldn't care less about them until i started doing my clinicals#it's just awkward and I'm not invested in them i just like figuring out what's wrong with them and interact with them as little as possible#again there are exceptions and i do like some of the patients but generally I'm just trying to hand them off asap#so yeah i do like working events bc the alternative is being confined to a tiny box or trapped in a hospital#i like being outside and being able to walk around the place and do things if i want to#and obviously i adore my partner#and even on the rare occasions i work with someone else all day i love my other coworkers too#and i mean yeah this might be more boring than working on an emergency rig However#it pays so much better#like why do y'all think my medic partner works there lmao he's actually good with patients and prefers the ambulance#but the pay in the field is shit so he gets paid way more working events than he would at the three letter company#insane actually that he makes over ten dollars more an hour working chill events than he would being overworked on a rig#anyway i digress#I'm looking into pathology assistant school rn bc there's like no patient interaction there but i still get to be nosy#so that's perfect for me lmao#everyone keeps saying i missed my calling as a vet tho like i don't cry when a dog dies in a movie lmao i wouldn't survive#working with animals would be amazing but the only thing that really gets you money is being a vet#so that can be a hobby
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Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care
#i have 14 hours overtime#collected within 2 weeks lol#you know how it's apparently mandatory for companies in germany to have a way track employees working time? yeah we're#the only company in the whole fucking country who doesn't do that (obviously that's not true there's probably plenty more but it's#still not right.) so we don't get paid overtime nor does it get acknowledged in any way#so technically we're not allowed to even it out (which most people try to do anyway because tf do they think they are asking us to work for#free) but I'm dedicated to not collect any more unpaid working hours so i take the liberty to leave work early this week#so today i left at 12pm (and then got home 4 hours later because another person decided to kill themselves by train. they should call me#first. or anyone else taking the train. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers to do the killing if it means not another miserable day#stuck in a disgusting train). and i logged in again at 6pm today to see if i have anything important messages (stupid i know)#and i saw the missed calls and that there had been an email exchange with me in the cc talking about the 'changes' made in one of the#articles and that someone else could do that for me since i couldn't be reached and at first i felt ashamed and scared#but now it's honestly just pissing me off. that asshole can't write emails and communicate requests like normal people can he#he already called me last week about something completely stupid and acts like his matters are the most important shit in the world#fuck you if you can't wait one day you should have sent this a month earlier because i won't stay online everyday#just to see if there might be an 'important' change you want me to make Immediately. bitch.#also missed two calls from my colleague but she didn't send any messages about what she wanted so i asked her because i felt bad for not#being online and turns out she wanted Nothing. just hear how i was. JUST TEXT ME THEN???? I HATE IT HERE FUCK YOU#seriously i don't get paid enough for this to bother me so much. she probably gets 12-15€ more than me per hour#of course she doesn't care about her overtime as much as i do. i get minimum wage which is less than what I'd get if i still worked at uni#as a student assistant so fuck this shit it's really not important or worth it. from now on i'll only put in minimum effort too#sorry got carried away. rant over now i guess#void screams#work stuff
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The Me who bought tickets to see TMBG in february 2023 and the Me who's going to actually go to the show next month are two completely different people
#slash extremely negative#it's funny to actually live this whole sort of cliche of: the time between buying tickets and going to the show can be so absurdly long#with what was supposed to be my 1st 'real' concert no less#'i bought the tickets as a teenager but i'm going to see them in my 20s etc' and stuff like that#and then when it gets rescheduled too... well. a year and 9 months is in fact a pretty long time!!!#and i'm not even talking about rescheduling due to covid because god at least i didn't have to deal with that i guess#(it IS funny though that by the time the 30th anniversary of flood tour ends#flood will be 2 months away from turning 35. so yeah lmao a lot happened in the meantime huh)#anyways day two of going crazy going insane for no reason other than well i guess that's just my life now!!!!! 😃😃😃#me when i say i'll stop documenting my rapidly progressing mental breakdown online and then keep doing it anyway#but idk maybe this will heal me in some way. my only hope rn no joke#and my mom actually seemed to be unsure if i we should book the hotels and stuff because. ig i'm this obviously unwell even over the phone#but BY GOD this is the only thing i can really look forward to right now i really need this to survive#(trying to forget how i was doing in september of last year when they rescheduled the tour#and i couldn't even be sure if i'd ever get to see them in the end lollllll#and at the heights of my tmbg obsession this was my number 1 dream. i mean it still is)#also i think i'm finally entering my tmbg autumn era now with some more frequent listening after not doing so for a while#how could i let myself pretty much forget that i love tmbg??? and that their music is so good and makes me happy???#they're still my fav band of all time just like they were back then. THAT didn't change at least#it's just that now they share that spot with sparks also lol. can't choose between them and why should i anyway#what else. ig i just hope i get the energy to finally draw tomorrow at least#because if i don't turn the ideas i have into reality then they will never become real! and that would be so sad#so maybe this can be my main reason to continue for now. whatever#goosepost
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not a single person asked for my opinion but I have decided i'm going to trust iñaki again, I think he can be the goalkeeper he always seemed he was going to be and that last year's performance was more of a mental thing than an actual reflection of his abilities
#I do think if we have a good option to get rn we still should go after them but aside from woj i dont see anyone else free#so I'm not only rooting for iñaki but after considering it for a long time I'm actually actively thinking that he might surprise everyone#like genuinely think he has it in him#ofc I understand the doubts (though I think there's a bit of an overreaction to how 'bad' he actually was last season) and I had them too#but yeah thought about it long enough and I think he might just “be good again”#and obviously im not certain and am not dying over this hill but yeah im giving him a chance#btw one thing about woj (and I LOVE him do not get me wrong he's one of my favourite recent goalkeepers I would die for him and I'll be#happy if we get him) is that his footwork isn't really a strenght? and hansiball actually seems very dependent on a gk who can pull that of#so it would be interesting to see if he is actually suited to the team#ofc that's part of the argument of what do you prefer? average-ish shot stopper with great ball playing abilities or exceptional shot stopp#*shot stopper who's average at footwork and ball playing?#for us I actually prefer the first one (which mats leaneds towards) but I know lots of people prefer an exceptional shot stopper#and I think that's a bit of a busi like case where people didnt appreciate what he brought to the team until he was gone#fc barcelona#iñaki peña#fcb#barça
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got dragged into another "i don't mind if you guys never get married or have babies!!!!" conversation with my mom and just. ugh
#a cousin is getting married and another had a bad breakup so. yeah. :|#this is gonna keep happening a lot through the next year.........wedding be over soon#obviously this is better than if she was guilt tripping me. obviously!!#but it still feels horrible esp bc like. these are not really choices i'm making willingly lol. it's the disability#i am not happy about the whole shut in situation or having teh energy of a deflated beach ball!!! which she knows!!!#txt#lacevent
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