#and obviously im not certain and am not dying over this hill but yeah im giving him a chance

[garciapimienta]

not a single person asked for my opinion but I have decided i'm going to trust iñaki again, I think he can be the goalkeeper he always seemed he was going to be and that last year's performance was more of a mental thing than an actual reflection of his abilities

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[ohblaine]

Ohblaine’s Fic Recs (1/?)

Over the summer I may have read a little too many fics and I made a huge list of all of them. Now I’m here to rec them to y’all just in case you need to read something. 

I will be posting them by tropes i.e. future fics etc. 

All pairings are klaine, except for a select few where it ends up with Klaine at the end. 

First set is: Classics

+If you have any classic fics you think should be here please send them to me. 

Sideways- CrissColferL0ve

Ratings: M

Chapters: 37/37

Words: 203,900

Summary: Jock!Blaine, it’s the first day of Senior year and Blaine is on top. The new kid, Kurt Hummel, catches his eye but not in the best way. Of course, they get paired up in English to do an assignment together and things get a little (or a lot) complicated after that.

Review: God DAMN 10/10, I read this fic back in 2013 and was utterly destroyed. I cannot believe. There are so many ups and downs and it’s one of those fics with to much dramatic irony and it’s perfect. Soemtimes you just wanna pick up your device across the gd room. Amazing read. Aaand I’ve read it 5 times since the first. Just fuccking read it guys.

Anywhere But Here- CrissColferL0ve

Ratings: M

Chapters: 26/26

Words: 170,722

Summary: This is the sequel for Sideways, it picks up where it left off and things are good, for about one chapter. Then people start showing an interest in Blaine who thinks it’s harmless but Kurt knows it’s not. It follows them during their move to New York and the angst that occurs is some good stuff.

Review: Obviously sequels aren’t alaways the best and I usually don’t read fic sequels but this one just won’t give up on that fucking angst and I lived for it, I’ve only read this one twice but damn that fuccking milk kid stuck with me, another 10/10.

Go Your Own Way- Zavocado

Ratings: NC-17

Chapters: 27/27+Epilogue

Words: 201,863

Summary: BadBoy!Blaine, and Kurt doesn’t know why his friends are raving about the new kid, so what if he’s gorgeous? He probably looks and acts just like all the rest of the bullies at this school. HA, Kurt couldn’t have been more wrong.

Review: I think I read this one before Sideways and we all know Zane (u fucker) but this one had me in tears, and I actually ended up purchasing it from the Box Scene Project later on that year after I read it. But tears streamed for days, I stayed up till 5am reading this fic most nights. Just go, if you’re in the klaine fandom idk why you haven’t read this yet.

Everyday- whatiknew

Ratings: M

Chapters: 9/9

Words: 67,00

Summary: Hold onto the ones you cherish and make sure they’re alright, love. Kurt gets hit by a taxi when he’s 27 years old and wakes up as his 14 year old self. With no memory of the past years that have happened, so to him Blaine’s a stranger holding his hand.

Review: FUCK THIS FIC MAN. So I read it right, then I forgot about it so I read it again, then I forgot so I read it again. But in all honesty just so much angst and the end killed me. I was dead.

Ride- nellie12

Ratings: M

Chapters: 22/22

Words: 458,384

Summary: Blaine’s straight right? Yeah totally, all these girls want him and the attention is awesome. Then one day a certain porcelain boy starts working at the shop where Blaine gets his BMX bike fixed up and maybe he’s not so straight?

Review: This fic was so good, like holy jesUS. I was going through a very weird gender time too and I was like why am I not a bmx biker kid. LIKE I CAN FIND THE EXACT POST. but anyways, bonfires and getting drunk on Cali beaches in the summer while u and ur friends skate and bike around mY FUCKING TROPE.

Hurricane- A Phrase That Cuts These Lips

Ratings: NC-17

Chapters: 22/22

Words: 98,265

Summary: Do you hurt the one you love? Blaine has been going down hill since his parents dismiss him, he starts drinking a lot and fighting with his soulmate and his husband. This puts a stressful strain on their marriage and their daughter. After a painful divorce, Blaine tries to commit suicide and the only one they can all is Kurt. You’re going to have to face it you’re addicted to love.

Review: !!!@@##!#!@$@%%$^ I have no words. This fic is a master piece like I have never actually cried so hard from reading a fic. This one touches on so many subjects that really just pull at your heart strings beautifully. I usually don’t read daddies!klaine, but Elizabeth and Blaine had me in tears every time they’d interact. The author also gives warning for everything at the beginning of each chapter.

Warnings: Self harm, attempted suicide, alcohol abuse, physical abuse (a slap and it’s not graphic)

Swing Sets and Sandboxes- beautifulwhatsyourhurry

Ratings: PG-13

Chapters: 17/17

Words: 43,568

Summary: Kid!Klaine, follows our boys in chronological order as they grow up together.

Review: CUte asf, I’ve only read it once, and it’s not my favourite trope but it was written really well and kept me around.

Little Numbers- iknowitainteasy

Ratings: G

Chapters: 20/20

Words: Not Sure

Summary: One wrong number. One city. Two boys.

A dream aloud, a kiss a cry, our rights our wrongs, a moment a love

Review: Don’t even get me started, this fic is my like back up pls don’t cry but if you do make sure you’re crying bc the playlist for this fic is everything. But basically fucking read this if you haven’t. It’s a Klaine classic, also remember when someone in the Sherlock fandom plagarized. lol.  I’m still convinced that D wrote this bye im gone sorry.

All Shook Up- blaineywainey

Ratings: PG-13

Chapters: 15/15

Words: Not sure

Summary: 1950’s!Klaine, Kurt is a snazzy greaser with his step brother Finn and his friends. He helps out his dad at the shop, one day a new kid from New York shows up in a bowtie and Kurt and him automatically become good friends, but maybe it’s more than that.

Review:  This was one of the first fics I read and guys, holy fuck, cool 50’s kid Kurt is everythinnnnnggg, also just the style of it all is phenomenal. I think the author took it down so I linked you all to the pdf not sure if it works. But I bought this one once I saw it on the Box Scene Project and it’s one of those books (lol) you just can’t put down till you’re finished.

ALSO this is a pdf because author has taken it down

Boys Of Summer- whenidance

Ratings: M

Chapters: 1/1

Words: 23,914

Summary: Kurt and Blaine have been going to their families lake houses since forever, they were summer best friends. Then Blaine doesn’t go one year, then Kurt doesn’t go the next, suddenly they’re 16 and realize there’s an attraction that wasn’t there before.

Review: When I read this fic it was 3 chapters so sorry @ all you kids who have to read it as one lol. BUT I LOVE THIS FIC, I always read it during summer and it’s just so feel good. And the person who wrote it obviously just knew how to pull out the sneaking around feel because just you feel it man. One of my fav tropes is also, we haven’t seen each other in years and u got hot shit.

Ace Of Cups- aradiel

Ratings: M

Chapters: 7/7

Words: 91,484

Summary: Kurt Hummel just opened his newest store, hummels, he’s making it big in NYC. But where is his soulmate? Where is the man whose name is scarred on his palm?

Blaine Anderson is just finishing up college and one day he reads about a new store opened by Kurt Hummel, but it couldn’t be. Could it?

Review: I actually danced around this fic since it was first posted I have NO idea why, I mean I’m not super into soulmate AUs, BUT THIS ONE GOT ME DYING. It was so fluffy but perfect amount of surrounding angst. I also like that it wasn’t like well we’re married now.

[alien-origins]

get to know me, pick some numbers.

since i wanted @kai-aaah to answer all of them i’m doing them too!!! so have fun reading about me! this is a lot ok and i’m sorry for not using big I’s and stuff i’m lazy i know how to spell i promise !!! enjoy 💞💖

1. selfie

you got 2 bc i love myself and the first is before i dyed my hair pink and i looked soft in it!!! the second is me casually 

2. what would you name your future kids? I honestly have no idea, I’ve always sucked at names and when writing short stories i have to look up like “top 1000 american names” and stuff like that. but i really want to name my future puppies nini, rice ball and macklemore :((

3. do you miss anyone? several actually, old friends from middle school I lost contact with, a girl in my class but she’s not a really good person so I’m better without her but I still liked being around her. Then there’s my grandma who’s been gone for a few years now and a friend that took his life this spring.

4. what are you looking forward to? moving away from home and start my life for real. i don’t feel at home or like i’m really alive when i’m at home now and i just want to do my thing! find my own path and so on!

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? kim jongin :((( when he smiles i smile omg my lil sunshine child i love him

6. is it hard for you to get over someone? i think yeah? bc i often overthink stuff i tend to miss old times and i still am getting over the fact i lost some really great friends along the way.

7. what was your life like last year?

i got close to nico, a girl in my class and it was nice because we clicked so well together as friends and she felt secure and i liked that. i liked to have someone that had the same hobbies and look in life. but she got a bf and honestly just stopped talking to me and it’d take weeks for her to reply and she stopped going to school, leaving me by myself and i hated being alone. so i broke things off with her.  i was in a relationship at the time but i was falling out of love but i was so scared of hurting her bc i still liked her, cared for her and i just wanted the best for her and i was not it. and it was not fair to lead her on so i had to break up with her even if i hated it. we’re friends still though so i’m glad.

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? all the time! I cry when I get overwhelmed with any emotion, I cry a lot in general.

9. who did you last see in person? my mom!

10. are you good at hiding your feelings? too good, I don’t think anyone really knows or has ever known how I feel. I’m also a skilled lier thanks to my parents.

11. are you listening to music right now? yeah i always am tbh my mom complains about it

12. what is something you want right now? summer and money

13. how do you feel right now? really stressed, i have a lot of school work to do before they set grades on all of us and i was sick for a week and now i have shot ton of presentations to do and work with i’m not ready.

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? a month ago???? after meeting up with a guy i hooked up with for a coffee

15. personality description stereotypical aqua without all the drugs i’m a child of god!!!!!!(not at all really) I am the mom friend™, I am a soft little bun and I get scared by literally everything. petty is my middle name and i breathe drama. i want to say i’m pure but with the things i’ve done i’m not allowed into heaven. since my family don’t have that much money i always make sure that i can save as much as possible and i get annoyed when people throw around money and assume i can just do things and ask for money. i like girls and boys(but i still don’t know what’s sexuality i just like soft pretty ppl), like i usually say there’s just too much love in my lil heart!!!! i cry at least twice a week and I wear too big sweaters and shorts that show off half my butt and running shoes. also a lot of caps and chokers.

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

a lot of times because of how i was raised and in the environment i was raised in i have troubles speaking about things like that and i bottle up a lot. a lot of things involve my dad or my mom but i’m scared of hurting my mom.

17. opinion on insecurities. i think my insecurities are affects from my past with anorexia and just society portraying a certain kind of look as an ideal that I can’t reach. like i’m constantly worried about how my body looks and some periods i’m full of confidence and love everything about me and some i consider fixing most things with surgery. i’m also bad at expressing emotions and i blame it on being an aqua!!!! i don’t talk much and i don’t like to voice my feelings. it results in a lot of relationships being a little rocky and it makes me insecure about myself.

18. do you miss how things were a year ago? yes and no. it was good then but so much happened during the summer and autumn that was really messy so no.

19. have you ever been to New York? no and idk if i want to go either really. i don’t see the appeal. 

20. what is your favourite song at the moment? 365 so fresh by tripple H 

21. age and birthday? 18 ; february 6th

22. description of crush. i don’t have a crush??? i crush on everyone that show me the slightest little spec of affection honestly 

23. fear(s) never leaving sweden and ending up living here with my husband, a dog and two kids in a villa somewhere in the outskirts of stockholm and going to the alps to ski and to thailand in the winter (literally what all middle class standard™ swedish families do). other than that i’m scared of ghosts and demons and there’s a specific picture that i get a panic attack from just looking at for a second. i hate loud noises and im scared of zombies, war, death, men, the dark, deep oceans, heights and so on. i have a lot of anxiety over death!!

24. height

5′2 when i put it in the cm to feet translation thing (160cm)

25. role model CL; she is a really strong and successful woman that I’ve looked up to since years back! I wrote a speech about her in english class when we were supposed to write about an artist we liked and I got an A on it so I hope she’s proud of me for that and for being myself and following my dreams! 

26. idol(s) exo ofc!! they together with f(x), 2ne1 and red velvet mean a lot to me and i love them hella !!

27. things i hate men, obviously all things bad that are wrong with our society like dictatorship/war/racism/sexism/homophobia but i don’t feel like listing it all up, my dad, cold and snow/ice, not knowing what’s going on in a situation or while planning something, being taken for granted, loud noises, avocado, being sick bc i can’t do yoga or go out on walks, spiders, my school mates and being stressed all the time.

28. i’ll love you if… you buy me fried chicken, you take me o watch the stars by the beach, you back hug me, you talk about astrology with me, you cuddle me!!!, you love me back, you love kim junmyeon, you play with my hair, you tell me about little things that remind me of you and if you take pictures of me spontaneously.

29. favourite film(s) devil wears prada, somewhere only we know, jurassic park(all of them), mean girls???

30. favourite tv show(s) gumball, steven universe, how i met your mother, fresh of the boat aaaand a swedish humour show called solsidan.

31. 3 random facts when i was 8 or 9 i tried to become a mermaid by cutting of some hair skin and a nail, put it in a lil bowl with water and my own blood!!! then put it out under the full moon.

i love cooking and baking and it makes me happy to be in the kitchen and try out new foods from other countries and throw things together that we have at home!

when i was in 6th grade and was out playing with my class (we invented our own game of tag and it was like the hunger games im telling you!! i still love it) and the snow was starting to melt as well. so by my school there was this little mountain/hill that was about 2-33m and not very steep plus there was snow on the ground underneath so me and my friend jumped down. but i got stuck with my foot in the snow and tripped, resulting in me scraping up my right knee rather badly and i have a scar there now.

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? I’d say it’s pretty equal but i levitate more towards girls, I just feel more comfortable around girls.

33. something you want to learn mandarin, I am technically learning it right now but at some point in life it’d be really neat to be fluent! If that doesn’t count I want to learn more about physics.

34. most embarrassing moment I don’t really have one because I think over what I do a lot so i rarely end up in embarrassing moments. but once when i was getting a chai at espresso house (a coffee shop in sweden) the barista said “have a good day” and i said “no thank you” because i thought he was talking about the receipt.

35. favourite subject i reeeeally love history! but we don’t have that anymore so i’d say textile design 3!

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? becoming a fashion designer and show at paris fashion week

buy my mom a nice car and a house on gotland where she can be in the summer and have it just for herself (hopefully she’s left dad by now as well and is happy and can do whatever she wishes to do without him weighting her down!)

seeing the world, my motto is “why live in a world you haven’t seen” and i hope i can see as much of it as possible! i want to move away from sweden and who knows where i end up.

37. favourite actor/actress shit idk i don’t have one???? 

38. favourite comedian(s) they’re all swedish so idk if i should list them up since even if you look it up it’ll all be in swedish plus swedish humor.

39. favourite sport(s) i don’t like watching sports but i’ve been practicing a few since i was a kid! soccer(i was a great goalie but i quit after 2 years when a girl took my spot and i got mad about it), basketball(i was never that great at it and quit after a year), badminton(my fav sport!!!! i was really great and i could have gone far with it but my anxiety stopped me so i quit after 3 years???), jujitsu (i got a green belt and i loved it but again my anxiety got in the way and i quit) and lastly ballet!!( i love ballet and dancing but due to some back issues i can’t do ballet and it sucks). in conclusion badminton is my fav sport!

40. favourite memory oh I guess it gotta be from 9th grade when I was in a exchange program with my french class. 

It was like a few days into my stay at her house in Auriol and my exchange student and I walked around in her neighborhood which was like mostly little houses, grape fields, mountains and long roads.

It was really beautiful just walking around and we talked about some deep stuff like politics and life while the sun was setting and I wore some shorts and a hoodie.

Also on the weekend when she her sister and mom took my down to the coast and took me sightseeing up on some mountains, small villages and then finished it off with 2-set lunch by the ocean!

in general my whole experience being and exchange student for that little week was amazing and france is absolutely beautiful and Angi whom I was staying with was really sweet!

41. relationship status single; i want to be in a relationship but i can’t commit 

42. favourite book(s) in order to live(yeonmi park) I don’t read a lot but this was the last thing i read and it’s really good and i think it’s a book everyone should read, it’s educational and can be a eye opener to what’s going on in the world.

43. favourite song ever this is so hard!!! i don’t really have one i think? i have too much love in my lil heart!!! but i guess it’s between russian roulette, she’s dreaming, free somebody and starlight !

44. age you get mistaken for either it’s like 16 or 20

45. how you found out about your idol i found out abt snsd and listened to gee and oh! and i was so hyped bc i was a really girly girl and it fit me perfectly and then i told a friend about it rather nervously and she was like “you should listen to real kpop” and showed me lolipop with 2ne1 and big bang and i was shook. it was the best thing i had ever heard!! i was with them from debut to them disbanding and i love them a lot, they mean a lot.

46. what my last text message says “yea fuck”

47. turn ons being manhandled, when ppl play with my hair, i get weak when ppl hold/caress my lower back also waist, Yifan, smart ppl, I have a weak spot behind/right under my ears, neat aesthetics and messy make out sessions

48. turn offs dirty talking in swedish, disrespect, non feminists, ugly eyebrows, ppl who are really drunk/high and ppl who are not fresh 

49. where i want to be right now on a beach or in a couch, the sun setting with a glass of wine cuddled up with someone who can be the big spoon and play mindlessly with my hair while we listen to some nice music and just enjoy ourselves.

50. favourite picture of your idol i love it so much :(((

51. starsign aquarius 

52. something i’m talented at embroidery! I want to get better though but I am working with it a lot so I hope I can get really really good and be recognized for it. 

53. 5 things that make me happy summer exo beaches/waves stars random small gifts

54. something thats worrying me at the moment my grades and my body. i work a lot and i have always been a good student but i had a mental breakdown last semester which resulted in depression and two journeys to the ER bc i was so stressed and my heart was feeling weird but there was nothing wrong with it but my mental health was rock bottom so i missed a lot and my assignments were really half assed which means even if i get A’s on the things i did this semester it doesn’t matter bc i will get like C’s in all subjects and it makes me worried. my body is still fucked up and the stress gave physical effects and my left shoulder is somewhat numb and it’s a little scary and sometimes things just don’t feel right.

55. tumblr friends i concider a lot of ppl my friends and it’s gonna be really awkward if you’re like “that hoe’s a stranger lol” pls be kind i’m very sensitive!!!! like if you interact with me once i consider you a friend and i love you i’m sorry it’s your own fault you ain’t escaping this now!!  @honeyixings @sassybookshelf @04gf @crownkingzyx @kai-aaah @princeksoo @joon420 @cuntykai @bulba-suho-r @swaggyt-enthusiast @potchanyoyo @bunmyun

56. favourite food(s) sushi, banh mi, pork buns, moules frittes, anything chicken, watermelon, cornflake fish, soups and salads with goat cheese

57. favourite animal(s) all!!!!  sheep, cats, dogs, rats, bunnies, birds!!!!

58. description of my best friend sweetest girl on the planet that deserves the world even though she doesn’t seem to have realized that yet. she’s clever and ambitious and she works so hard. she’s childish in a way that is lovable and i feel so happy around her and her hugs are gold worth! 

59. why i joined tumblr my sister got a blog and we were into anime back then and all she did was be on timblr so i got one too!