#yeah i aint reading that again
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kaeyachi · 2 years ago
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hi! not sure why i cant tag you properly so heres my explanation!
spoiler warning for those who havent read the note from the Hidden Strife event in 2.8
During the Hidden Strife event, you can find an old note written by his biological father that talked about how the Alberich clan became the regents after King Irmin failed (its the note Kaeya desperately saved from being burnt). They were the last ruling/leading family of Khaenri'ah before it fell. Essentially, they were a clan of noble descent/family of high militaristic power and rose to the throne during the last leg of the war.
Not sure what happened to his dad. Was he affected by the curse? Did he die? If he lives then technically he has the claim to the throne. If he's dead and theres no other Khaenri'ahn noble left, then that means Kaeya would have been their "only hope" already. What's the point in keeping the heir when there's no land to own so to speak? I guess it would make sense to do one last desperate mission- put all able hands on deck for a Khaenri'ahn revenge plot
Or maybe the Alberich clan has their own schemes, just like how Pierro and the Abyss order are doing two separate things so far. Maybe in the end, all their actions would be connected somehow.
I still think they could have just left Kaeya in a safe manner to live his life as a free kid instead of dumping responsibilities and trauma in one go to him (or if they really have to give him responsibilities, at least leave him safely! Not sure why his dad really had to leave him in a storm like that. hmpf!).
Alas, I think there is a reason why he is supposed to have a responsibility to Khaenri'ah and their mission- why kaeya would feel conflicted.
There's also a reason as to why Kaeya's "fate would catch up to him". Mona also said that Kaeya "thinks he made a clean break with his past". Could that mean he had no contact with other Khaenri'ahns (sans the abyss order) during the entirety of his stay in teyvat? Im not sure why he would feel like he has to prove anything to them if they hadn't contacted him in so long...
Even if he doesn't end up being the prince regent, the alternative leaders would be Dainsleif( the twilight sword of the eclipse dynasty- possible from a different noble family?) and Pierro (who was an adviser at the time of the cataclysm- possibly from the Alberich clan because of similarities). Where does that put Kaeya in the Khaenri'ahn equation? He could just be a kid who got lucky... or maybe he's hiding a secret that puts him in a place of importance somehow
The idea of him trying to prove himself does interest me... could he be trying to prove himself to the abyss twin? Pierro? He had so many curious interactions with both the Fatui and the Abyss order that it could go either way, but I cant say much about this idea until I see him interact with another Khaenri'ahn in-game (we know what he thinks about Khaenri'ah but we dont know what the other Khaenri'ahns and the Abyss order think of him)
Kaeya is seemingly the only curseless Khaenri'ahn we have (probably because he's clearly half teyvatian? Or maybe he is cursed and we don't know what kind yet)
Lets get back to this once we get some more lore(im hoping were getting something) during 3.5!
Random thoughts. My mind is like an uncooked scrambled egg at the moment, I'm waiting for my 3 shots of espresso to arrive to me, and my boss at work decided to tell me to not sleep tonight to finish my tasks, so this post will be a mess
but anyway!! about Kaeya and him keeping the Alberich surname and his relationship with his biological father...
Kaeya still loves his biological father (or at the very least holds him and his words value). He still values his family's history (his desperate attempt to save a paper that held information on their clan from the fire). Kaeya kept their surname, and it's his voice that Kaeya heard in the Weinlesefest.
Not many would recognize the surname, but the people who matter would (Archons, Celestia, Khaenri'ahns), and it seems so risky keeping it, yet he does.
What for though? He essentially has a free pass with getting a new surname. Even if he had told the Ragnvindrs his last name, Diluc and the staff wouldn't have told anyone of his original last name.
Was it for the benefits? (should the time come for the Abyss twin to leave their world, Kaeya would be next in line to lead as the Prince regent)
Is that even beneficial? It seems like asking to get recognized and attacked.
Nostalgia?? Again the risks of keeping it though...
Who knows what goes thru Kaeya's mind most days. His head is probably even more scrambled than my sleep deprived state at the moment. I'm betting his mind is a slushie with all the thoughts he has up there.
Don't get me wrong though, I'm one of his biological father's biggest haters (I genuinely do not agree with leaving a child in a deadly storm- re: kaeya's character story mentioning he would have died in the storm had Crepus not found him- and giving him the pressure of an entire essentially dead nation in his tiny hands -what could Kaeya's information about Mondstat do compared to Dainsleif and the abyss order who could surely do it more efficiently?? and less risk for emotions for sure-)
Fairly sure that Kaeya feels conflicted about his sperm donor and subsequently the nation he was from. Theres definitely a place in his big heart for his nation and his birth family.
It's just that people are so sure that he would choose Mondstat (I bet he would too), but the way Genshin is making it sound so far...
It's like Kaeya is genuinely contemplating siding with Khaenri'ah as well and that makes me pause for a moment.
What would be the deciding factor to him?
IM PROBABLY OVERTHINKING THIS LMAO
Anyway that is all. I really need sleep which i will not be getting any time soon and only Kaeya could keep me awake at night at this point
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soranker · 10 months ago
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Favorite Trigun character?
teehee..... can u guess 🤪🙈
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lunarharp · 1 year ago
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things.. uh... Gentry era au
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cbdinodoodlez · 1 year ago
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PROFESSOR LAYTON BUT CARTOON I SUPPOSE?????
I have not practiced my Hanna Barbera-esque art style in like a few weeks so I am crusty af but I still did try making smth similar so here are these bc one of the projects I do wanna work on eventually is making a bunch of fake screenshots of a Professor Layton Saturday Morning cartoon lol.
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Idk what I was going for with the Descole one but hey, I think it's funny I based the background a bit on FNAF 3 lol
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This one is a crossover with the InvestiGators series! [please read the books, they are amazing and I think the characters from there would get along so well with Layton, Luke and Flora!!!] Fun scenario with Mango taking Luke on a little stroll around the city.
Kind of, Idk, Unwound Future/Lost Future spoilers below, I'm not sure!!!
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The obligatory furry stuff because drawing them is so fun!!! Here's the scenario where Luke kind of goes like 🤨🤨🤨 and is like "Maybe this isn't really me from the future..." I think he's a very confrontational guy at times so lol.
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This one has another version below!
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THERES NO CONTEXT, I JUST WANTED TO MAKE A RANDOM THING LOL
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here's a sketch, I might try to properly line and color it, maybe.
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telesodalite · 2 days ago
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I've got like 5+ other creative projects i want/need to do, but holiday cookies gotta be made, lol. Started with almond cloud cookies <3
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Ft. A lump of soon to be choc chip cookies
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#frankly. id love to have my shit together enough to do those baking challenges through Dec#but uh... yeah. i dont have enough people to bake for yet to justify it to myself anyways lol#i need a baking/cooking tag in case anyone doesnt want to see these. uhhhhh#[teles cooks]#that'll do perhaps. for now at least#idk. technically this is a interests/hobby blog thing. and baking counts as both. so??#was thinking about the folks that come around for rbs or art. and instead get the odd ramble and baking stuff. like. welp :/#ya get what ya get ig. tis an everything blog. theres gonna be a bit of everything :]#also also. this is super totally unrelated but its been bothering me all day-#whyyyyyy do some of these younger queer kids wanna put everyone in a box againnnn#witnessed a debate about the validity of he/him lesbians again. and i wanted to claw my eyes out#like. augh. 1. read your history. 2. why does it matter so much?#maybe its part of the journey now or smth. idfk. back when i was in my early teens i just worried about going to hell and stuff#now its like. you gotta become a little gender cop to justify yourself to yourself now or smth#its wack. and as a technical he/him lesbian. whenever the fancy takes me. who gives a shit?? dont be an ass. too many of those these days#it makes me feel old somehow. like christ. chill out. theres so many other far more important problems than lesboys. stfu#its tiktok tho. aint it :/ usually is. augh#...anywho. uh? yay for the holidays? one last hurrah before we all have to buckle down for who knows what? yippee?#ok oven beeped. chit chat time over
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todayisafridaynight · 4 months ago
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what are your interests that aren’t yakuza
uhm. a lot !!! I think !!!
#snap chats#dont think its a surprise to say i love sonic. i dont post bout it anywhere but i do very much love sonic#and kirby !!!! i love kirby .... and like. other videogames 💀#i like talking about comics with my bro. we rewatched all the xmen movies since i was leaving for college and that was funny#i get legal rights to mention that today cause someone did a minedai ver of a lipstick ad james mcavoy and michael fassbender were in#i did scream and cry when i saw it. btw. its bookmarked in my heart and on my twitter but moving on#dragonball's alright. i GUESS. i GUESS i like dragonball ... i havent been keepin up with it but daima's droppin oct 11th so i heard#maybe i oughta go back to reading manga .. thatd mean i go into a bookstore again vjaLKAJ#i also like reading :) but i dont exactly make fanart for reading jvELKVJA#SO FUNNY THO my library was giving away free dupe books and i know the librarian scared of me walking away with two piles#lets just get back to videogames that was easier. i like metroid :) gonna throw up when MP4 comes out#though. VERY funny that they didnt remaster MP2 and MP3 for the switch before but whaddya gonna do i'll live#metroid fusion is real fun ...... i really like metroid fusion ... yk maybe i dont have a lot of interests#MEGAMAN I LOVE MEGAMAN and resident evil …… capcom gang ……. ace attorney omg them too 😩#i always think AA is sega but no its not. criminal but it does mean phoenix wright shows up in MVC so thats alright ig#at least not. franchise? interests? like i like sports and Reading As I Said but i aint bloggin bout that#yeah idk. 'what are yuor other interests' is such an odd question cause i HAVE other interests i just dont think about it#yk. unless i have a blog for it LOL but for most of these i dont#but yeah i guess. theres that !!!!!! its like 1AM im definitely excluding things i like but vjlaekvjaeklJVELAKJ
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saltynsassy31 · 1 year ago
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I NEED to get this off my chest
Just...ignore me DO NOT COME AFTER ME
Idk if anyone will even see this and altho I hope I'm not the only one in this I rather be ignored and I don't think anyone who follows me cares so here goes
Okay, I really wanna read a glitch in time, but a part of me just... I can't. I haven't been up to date on a lot of Danny Phantom stuff, and I am trying. I am just busy, and I am trying to rewatch the show to refresh my memory first and foremost cuz it has been a hot second, and girlie over here needs a refresher cuz she got the memory of a goldfish
But the reason I can't specifically read glitch in time, even tho I have it with me right now is that...well, I hate the finale of the show, I specifically hate Sam and Danny getting together, especially the way they did, I knew they'd probably be end game but to have it confirmed hurt my soul, I've been avoiding it for that and I know it's silly IM SORRY but it's true 😭😭😭
I feel bad cuz I've only heard good things about it, especially with Vlad, who i love, and I WANT TO, and I hate that what's holding me back is this of all things, its so stupid, I know, I fucking know but UGH! I can't help but cringe. When I first rewatched the final season a while ago I couldn't even finish it
I liked them as friends tbh, it just worked better, imo so I shrivel up inside seeing the two as anything but friends
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bo-bo-bean · 2 years ago
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Memory Cluster
It hurt.
That’s all Flippy could describe at that moment. He remembered cheering on his neighbor and best friend in a swimming race. He was destined to be the loudest to cheer when he won.
He did find it weird his legs were red, but maybe it was his swimming suit.
Waving the flag, he give his biggest smile to Lumpy. Lumpy put his goggles on and then a gunshot was heard. He remembered it well for some reason. It sounded so familiar, as if he heard it just earlier that day. Then… it went dark.
He didn’t know how long he would have seen the pitch black in his vision, but something happened unfortunate occurred.
A pain so indescribable through his stomach. Something burst from his back and all the way out his belly. His nerves were telling him over and over on how much pain he was in. He assumed it was a pole or something, given that what went through him was thick, cold and hard to the touch. His intestines started to rummage inside him as his body fought back nausea with great intensity.
Was he moving? He could feel some of his insides start to slip out through his back as the blood was beginning to pool through his fingers, down his arms and sleeves, up across his chest, surrounding his neck like a scarf, down his legs, between his toes. Blood everywhere… The metallic smell of it made his now destroyed stomach churn.
Before long, he felt his body shoot down the pole like object, his intestines clinging to it and being forced out. His body became lighter, more chill, more numb… then the true darkness settled in. Finally the pain was gone, but he wished he knew what happened. Or he would… if he wasn’t dead.
“Flippy!”
Something shook his body with a worried pace. Another person seemingly grabbed his ear and shouted in it.
“Flippy, ami!”
He gasped, his eyes opening. On instinct, he put his hands over his stomach but… it was just his fur and flesh. No guts, no foreign object, no pain.
“... what…?” he wheezed. His fur was riddled with sweat, skin clammy and cold, hands shaking. Was he in the hospital? How? How could he survive such a horrible feeling? Eyes darting around, he took in his surroundings slowly. A tent, it seemingly filled with other people in war uniforms in beds all around him. They had no limbs or missing facial features, some having a bloodied blanket covering them. It all seemed… familiar.
The smell was full of death and dirt, the sound of gun shots and screams being heard. Usually, he would lose himself and most of his senses at the sound, but there was no reaction. There was however a response to his death he encountered that he felt he was part of. Even if he was alive and seemingly well, there was still a lingering sensation tugging at his insides.
Pushing someone aside, he fell to the ground, coughing three times before he puked all over the dirt and grass. He felt someone rub his back.
“Get it all out…” they said softly.
His neck felt strained as he took those orders, coughing until he vomited more. Once there was nothing left in his system, he sputtered and panted, trying to get in some air. The person who patted his back stopped and he saw a weathered canteen in front of his vision. Greedily, he took it, poured some water in his mouth, sloshed it around and spat it out before going in for a sip to swallow.
“Are you okay?” a second voice asked. They were the same voice who shouted in his ear.
“Y-yeah,” he nodded, staying on his hands and knees. “I think so…”
“Jesus, you had us scared…”
They both helped him up, Flippy now looking up to see who assisted him. However… he instantly felt as if he would puke again, scream, and faint all in that order. Seeing this, the two put him back on the bed. “You’re pale as pearls…! Don’t you remember us?”
“Monsieur, you look as if you see a ghost…”
“It’s us… Sneaky and Mouse KaBoom.”
He couldn’t believe his ears. His eyes, they can trick him, but his own ears? They wouldn’t lie to him. They’ve been trained to hear the smallest of noises. Now he knew they were both telling the truth.
“... no,” he shook his head. “No… it cant’ be… it… can’t…”
The chameleon started to look worried, taking the seat next to him.
“Heh, you must’ve hit your head really hard.”
“Are you having more nausea?” Mouse asked, noticing Flippy clutching his stomach.
“Y-yeah let’s not entice it,” Sneaky offered, taking his hand gently. He put Flippy’s hand to his side. “You okay?”
He wanted to pass out. Wake up and be back to… wherever he was. Where was he before? He only knew where he is now; he was back in the war. Back before the operation that changed his life forever, that caused so many blackouts, waking up to massacres. That’s ALL he remembered; the blood and organs flying on blacktops and parking lots as if they were only graffiti. Him showering with a widened drain to clean off the bits of brain, watching the water at his feet turn red. But all of those visions seem to fade more and more until he could barely even think of the faces, if they had any.
Noticing their reaction to his silence, he took a deep breath in to get his heart beating again. Should he tell them? Or was it a bad dream? A horrifying, terrible, awful bad dream. No, a dream shouldn’t last that long and have faces that came again and again.
“How long was I out?” he decided to inquire.
“Just an hour,” Sneaky answered. “You ran into a snare trap and smacked your head on a tree.”
“There’s a bump right here,” Mouse told him, touching a spot on the back of his head. He winced at it being touched, then he heard a smack.
“Don’t touch it!” Sneaky chastised.
“It can’t just be an hour…” he whimpered. “That was so much longer than an hour… It had to be a coma…! Or an awful memory, but… it’s impossible because you’re right here… That… you are here. You’re right next to me, not… what happened…?”
“You’re… not making any sense,” Mouse hesitantly stated the obvious.
“Had a bad dream?” Sneaky wondered.
“Heh, I remember having those… aaahh mémoires…”
“I don’t even know if I can even call it a bad dream,” he shook his head. “It’s more like a nightmare of… something. I just remember-”
“Sneaky! Mouse KaBoom!” a voice boomed. The tent flap opened, revealing a rhino commander. He walked in, Sneaky and Mouse standing up and saluting.
“Sir!” they both greeted.
“How’s Private Flippy?”
“Private…?” The rank brought fear for some reason. Something about that word made his blood run cold, but what could it be?
“I think he’s having some memory issues, sir,” Mouse explained. “He woke up, puked and when he heard our names, he turned pale.”
“He was also clutching his stomach an awful lot.”
The rhino nodded. “At ease,” he commanded. They took their seats next to each side of the bear as he bent down in front of Flippy. “What is your name?”
“P… private… Flippy,” he answered. He glanced over to his shoulders, seeing one arrow, not three. … why would he expect three? He wasn’t a commander, was he?
“Where are you?”
Flippy was stuck on that one. He glanced around, seeing the beds, a shelf of medical supplies, medics rushing back and forth, carrying various tools or limbs.
“I think a medical tent.”
“You ARE in a medical tent,” he nodded. “Who are these two by you?”
“Sneaky and… Mouse KaBoom,” he looked at the two on either side.
“Good. And what war are we in?”
“War…?” his eyes widened in shock. Why was that so disturbing? Why did he feel absolute fear? Was he new? No… if he was new, he wouldn’t be a private, but a rookie. That meant he passed training.
“Yes,” he slowly said. “You’re in a war; the Tree Town Battle. Jesus, you weren’t kidding when you said he became pale.” He felt his forehead. “... well you’re cold. I suggest you have bed rest until tomorrow, I’ll ask you the same questions again. Sneaky, get some extra rations and water. Mouse, keep an eye on him.”
“Yes, sir,” they answered in unison.
Sneaky and the rhino went out as Mouse propped up Flippy’s legs on the cot.
“Aaand… there. You… look pretty terrible,” he chuckled. When he didn’t laugh back, he frowned and hopped up on the end. “What’s going on in your head?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I think I’m trying to put the pieces together, but none of them fit or they change entirely.”
“Well explain it to me,” he offered.
“I… don’t think I can…” his ears flattened. “Even if I could, I don’t even know if I want to hear myself say it.”
“Just try,” he urged. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
“Heh… famous last words,” he grinned a little. Seeing his humor staying, Mouse beamed back and then gave a stance to show he was listening. “... I feel like I woke up from a coma. I think I was doing… something. Maybe important, but then it all went black. I got this intense pain in my stomach, like my insides being pulled out slowly, but I didn’t see anything. But… there was something before…”
“Something?” he wondered.
“Well… a lot of things,” Flippy admitted. “But what was weird was you two… I feel like you two shouldn’t be here.”
“Very rude, continue,” he humored.
“I think… you should be dead.”
That made the rodent silent. He stared at Flippy and then scooted back from him a bit, reaching in his pocket. “N-no no! It’s not a threat. I had a dream you guys… died, I think.”
“Aah I see,” he sighed out, relieved. “So, do you remember how I died?”
Flippy scoured his mind, trying to remember. There was a reason why they died… There was a knife… a pizza for some reason… he threw the knife… didn’t he? No, he didn’t, not at first. The second time, he did… but at…
“Sneaky…” his eyes were now pin stricken pupils.
“... Sneaky killed me?” he crossed his arms. “If this is because I stole his rations, that is not fair.”
“No, he didn’t… I think…there was pizza and… a knife?” he looked at his paws. They were clean, but a vision wiped across his view. They were covered in blood, he had a spine and a pair of ribs… and then his hands were gone, with only sharpened bones taking their place. “No… I didn’t…”
“You… didn’t what?”
What should have been fear turned to distress and then agony. He saw drops of salt water fall before his vision blurred and turned hot, as well as his cheeks and ears. “F-Flippy…! Y-you’re crying…?”
He felt a lump in his throat start to suffocate his airway. He shakily gulped in air and let it out in a whimper.
“... I’m sorry,” he exhaled. “I… I had it for a second…”
“It’s okay…!” the rodent scooted back towards him and took his paw, holding it and caressing the top of it with his thumb. “You’re feeling sick, I think is all. Once you get some food, you’ll be juste comme la pluie…”
Any memories he had before seemed to vanish in that instant. Maybe it WAS just an awful dream. One that was too unfair for his head, but at least now he was awake. He would be okay, maybe.
Sneaky came back with an MRE pack and a fresh canteen.
“Here, I got your favorite,” he gave the pack and water to Flippy. “Lentils in masala sauce. I was even able to heat it up for you in secret, so shush.”
“Thanks,” he tore open the pack, taking the spoon that was taped to the side and dug in.
“He all good?” the reptile asked the rodent. Mouse nodded.
“Bad dream,” he explained.
“Don’t say it like that,” Flippy chuckled, his mouth full a bit. He swallowed, happy to have his recently emptied belly becoming full of something. “You make me sound like I’m a wimp.”
“Ehh you are a bit,” Sneaky snorted, patting his head. “But thanks to your wimpiness, Mouse and I are excused from patrol to make sure you’re okay. So I suppose we owe you one.”
“Oui!” Mouse cheered. Immediately, he dug into his pocket and pulled out some cards. “Gin rummy?”
“Deal me in…!” Sneaky boasted, getting on his knees. “Winner gets dessert for the week.”
“Haha, I’ll take that action! Flippy?”
“Be prepared to lose, fellas,” he finished his bagged meal.
As Mouse dealt the cards out, Sneaky looked at Flippy.
“So… how do you feel about our mission coming up?”
“What mission?” Flippy wondered.
“Against General Tiger,” he responded. “We’re gonna try out your plan with the pizza and knife?”
“Oh, he was just talking about that…!” Mouse gasped. “Looks like you didn’t lose any important memories…!”
Something should have clicked. Something should have given off warning bells, opened up, anything. But Flippy only smiled, forgetting his dream entirely.
“I guess not…!”
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cestacruz · 9 months ago
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Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
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wormgremlin · 1 year ago
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I wanna say something else on the topic of rude comments on AO3. I know a lot of people just choose not to respond to trolls. I also know it's probably a waste of my time to respond. But I have a sliver of hope in me that people genuinely don't know why what they're doing is fucked up. And I lean on that sliver and I reply, yes perhaps a bit snarkily or rude. But all the while telling them why what they did is wrong. That being said, I will not stop deleting comments. That noise doesn't belong on anyone's fic, not even mine.
I'm not a fast writer. I'm not a prolific writer or a popular writer or even a particularly GOOD writer. I'm aware that sometimes my verb tenses are bad or my characterization off. I have a lot of words I overuse or awkward wording patterns I can't leave behind. But I get a beta to fix what can be fixed, then publish it.
I'm not a good writer. I write because I have ideas that I would rather have written out than have live forever in my head. I write for fun. I write to see the representation I want to see, even if I write it badly.
I repeat. I am not a good writer. However I am a stubborn writer. I am a resilient writer. And I reply to the people who think it's okay to criticize fic writers because I can deal with it. Because I don't care. And because I know it hurts others. And I hope, desperately that they do so unaware of the effect they have. Because that means they might be willing to change.
There seems to be a bizarrely short logical jump from "unasked for criticism is okay" and "telling people to kill themselves is okay." I don't write particularly problematic ships. No judgement or shame, I just don't.
But every fic is problematic under a bad faith reading. If you don't like something, it's a very short leap to "problematic." It's like that one post said: coffee shop AU? Workplace harassment. Genderswap? Transphobic. Queer relationships? Fetishizing. And if all someone needs is not liking something in a fic to begin criticizing an author or accusing an afab queer person of misogyny and homophobia... Well. It's a short leap from that to telling someone to kill themselves, isn't it?
And I may seem strangely fixated on the "kill yourself" angle. But I remember just a few years ago. People were doxxed. Lists went around of blacklisted individuals, and blocking them was a way of virtue signaling. So was using that blacklist as a mailing list for telling people to kill themselves. People were in my friends' ask boxes telling them to commit suicide. My friends who were not always in the best mental space. Over fanfiction. Over problematic things in fanfic. When I insisted that perhaps it is inappropriate to leave such comments, several other people stopped talking to or blocked me simply for saying "telling someone to commit suicide is inappropriate" and being associated with blacklisted individuals.
Of course, escalation isn't necessary to make it harmful and inappropriate, on a lesser scale. What was it that one particularly dense person said? Something about my characterization. So what if my characterization was bad? Back button exists for a reason! Don't waste either of our time reading it! "Don't like, don't read," dldr -- there are whole acronyms about it! You would think the point has gotten across by now. I am a self proclaimed bad writer. You're right! I don't always get Bucky's characterization right. A cis white ex-military man has immensely different lived experience from me. Hell, I've never even handled a gun before. Sometimes that means what I think makes sense for his character... doesn't. But also consider: I didn't ask; therefore, it's inappropriate and not "concrit" as some people like to call it (which I also have opinions about).
Someone commented after I posted about people leaving rude comments that I was how was it phrased? "Crying on tumblr," I believe. I'm not asking you to specifically stop commenting on my fic, I'm asking you to stop entirely. I'm asking you to take a step back and consider the real life effects of sending anon-hate or leaving unnecessarily critical comments on people's works they are making available to you for free. And if you're still under the impression that you are in the right to leave these kinds of comments... This is not me crying on tumblr. Let's be perfectly clear: this is me calling you a bitch on tumblr.
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flintbian · 1 year ago
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Well, one year to go
#well at least im trying for that#ive scheduled round two for alaska and hopefully i see the lights this time#and my second favorite band announced yesterday they're coming here with guess who? another of my favorite bands#(blackbriar and battle beast may 2024)#i literally said the other day id be happy if i got to see them and now they're coming! can you believe it#but im tired...my health has plummeted and i am not doing well#im not going to last#ive just got to hold out for these last bucket list items#so im trying for the auora again in september around the equinox#ugh it's so bad im hooked up to shit all day now and constantly have to monitor tachycardia for instance#im exhausted. i can barely breathe. it hurts so much. i never stop shaking and spasming now#but hey ive started playing dnd...finally found a group. so that's crossed off my list too and it's been very fun so far#i need to get the motivation to read all the books i want to read#it aint in my control though...i just have to hope i can hold out until september#ive been trying lots of new foods but there's still so much more i want to try#but yeah im tired...every day i wake up from pain and feel like im going to die...if i sleep at all#even clare has given up it's progressed too much#but im trying. im trying#and ive been gathering all our family photos and things so theyll have memories#me and my dad take a selfie every time he visits too#idk. there's not a whole lot i can say without making people sad but it's been so much lately#i struggle to scrape through the pain every day. it's been 14 years. i just want to be free#it's not like i want to die...i just want to be free of the pain and rest finally#wish me luck#p
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canniballistichyenas · 28 days ago
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Me every few weeks
When you discover a new amazing artist on tumblr but their bio says “proshitters DNI”
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ghostofafruit · 4 months ago
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I know why I've chosen to attempt to use mostly american english. But my fucking soul has shriveled up and died because of this! How can I do this to myself????
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celestialmancer · 9 months ago
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...Highkey was not. Expecting this one ramble I wrote of Ishtar to end up digging into some really personal vulnerabilities around my own.
...But. After several months of wanting to start opening the doors to rambling on these things (& chickening out) I finally. Got things down.
#This is. something I'm only sharing w friends i trust tho. DM only type of stuff cause its... its a writing that has roots in some.#very deeply personal/vulnerable type of stuff. & like. I kind of always fear judgment around this sort of stuff too?#when it comes to. writing on this particular topic. its cathartic to me in processing things. but i know it can be not easy a read?#I've already hinted at it before & i mean i know in the end on TH ima eventually have it labeled what this sorta ordeal is.#its not somethn i really expect will come up tho outside of like... if im musing w someone i trust & only in terms of like.#sharing/rambling abt backstory stuff or hcing things around chars opening up? or writing things abt chars opening up? i.#don't know fi that makes sense but fuck it sdjlkfsd. you get the gist.#its not somethn i will bring up in spaces where its not allowed & even in my own personal public spaces its a subject i kinda prefer to uh#not get TOO too into. the in depths are only known by ppl i trust & thats that. & thats only if they ofc arent the type to judge.#i love sharing my stuff w friends even if its more intense subjects? (given they can handle it obviously i aint droppin it on em w/o warnin#cause i know myself w what i write so). my only gist is i just fear those close to me judging is all. since its a lot of.#vulnerability ig that goes into this stuff for me.#...in time i do... plan to let myself open up more. be vulnerable more through my work ig.#it helps a lot w catharsis ig.#regardless... i gotta get back to research stuff#ishtar rambles ;#anyway personal hidden oc / sona / w.e lore that only is known to ppl i want it known by. & its not somethn that like ever's gonna be like.#brought up in spaces where its not permitted to discuss those things so yknow. yeah. esp bc the theme of this topic is kinda 18+?#w the ramble i mean. bc of subject material but it takes on a sorta heavy topic type of vibe really? so.#its not like 'sexy time 18+' stuff LOL-does touch on ordeals of sexuality yeah. but. the rest is analysis & touching on their past & some.#things that are again. sorta heavier talks & in gen other things.
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quirkycritters · 2 months ago
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Game Night: CHAIN ATTACK!!!
i am,,, withering away but ITS DONE ITS DONE IM FREE FROM THE CURSE (<<< still haunted by wips) clocking in at 32+ hours, this sucker has been getting pushed around for 10 months-
while theres some things i would have done differently if i could redo this from scratch, i still had a BLAST cramming in as much detail as i could tolerate >:) some highlights / cut ideas / ramblings are below the cut, but please zoom for details! (if tumblr doesnt shred it to bits)
gonna be real i locked so hard onto drawing ripped jeans that i forgot i could have just shoved legend into a skirt and called it a day
SOCKS. SOCKS. the amount of Joy anytime i figured out how to personalize them with game references: legend (hibiscus), twilight (ordon goats), and four (force gems)
i WAS going to put time in a turtleneck, but had an epiphany and started digging for the most obnoxious hawaiian shirts i could find,,, ft. a sea flower (wind waker) and a saturation boosted plumm (twilight princess)!
yeah so warriors got the sweater instead of the skintight shirt, sorry gang
speaking of if i ever say im going to draw a cableknit sweater again, somebody PLEASE shake some sense into me- warriors sweater was a NIGHTMARE since my art program has an astonishing lack of good brushes (and yet here i am still using it)
MOST of the text has been modified using the twilight princess cipher because yeah. i was procrastinating shading. also the other ciphers were in japanese- times shirt is cropped, but reads "its 5 oclock somewhere"
winds lobster shirt :) that is all i just think its neat
wilds jacket :) link w(ild) 2017, aka the release year of botw
jewelry! sky has the fireshield earrings, and wild has the amber earrings~ could barely squeeze the bombos and quake medallions onto legend, and wind got the joy pendant
hyrule :D embroidery on his sweatpants because i was struck by whimsy- also i 100% thought his shield was purple tinted for weeks while drawing this because the page i used as reference was set at night, and i was originally basing his sweater on his shield- scrapped the cross pattern after several failed attempts but kept the color ^^
the chips are bbq because im biased (reads "crisps" in twilight princess cipher for no real reason except whimsy)
bless my dearest homie for game reccs because the og plan was to have them all be loz games! titles include wii sports resort, elebits, super mario party, smash bros ultimate, just dance 2016 (its box art is colorful ok), and myth makers orbs of doom (I HATE THIS GAME WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING, as i should, anyways i should play it again). four is suggesting orbs of doom, buddy aint even playing,,,
kinda was hoping to play around with hair colors and skin tones a bit more, but again, see the hour count- ill get em next time surely,,, also blue vs violet eyes for legend already had me in decision paralysis
the whole gang was gonna have friendship bracelets with color combos based on dynamics i found neat but oops! didnt finish the layer :')
thats a wrap! didnt yap about everything but im curious what yall catch onto- anyways surely ive learned something about biting off more than i can chew (<<< lying liar who lies)
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coridallasmultipass · 9 months ago
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I've been screaming about this for 11 years, thank you.
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sorry i love homosexuals
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#sorry to add im just still screaming about it bc i love it and i love this art#homestuck#jake#dirk#dirkjake#lollipop chainsaw#decap#otp#lmao @ me being like 'wait i did this too' no u fuckass u slapped together a shitty edit and called it a day lol#fave#seriously tho im unhinged about decap dirk i will see any character get beheaded and be like '0/10 dirk did it better'#im still chasing the high of the volcano upd8 like i have an unfinished embroidery i did of that scene somewhere lmao#sorry to tag dump all this where op and person i rb from can see but bro... i love this shit#its cute. i love both media. jakes leg hair. did i mention its cute? also piercings dirk will always have a specialplace in my heart#(bc im a piercings dirk and ppl used to criticize me for keeping them in while cosplaying and im pretending im not still upset abt it)#but yeah good art op love this shit#thank u person i rb from for putting it where i can see it on my dash im glad i scrolled this far if only to see this lol#while im tag dumping bc im embarrassed... how do we feel about jake having to be the one who decaps dirk to save him?#been a hot minute since i played lollipop chainsaw but that was hilarious#i wonder if it has backwards compatibility or do i need to bring my 360 upstairs hmmmmmmm#sounds like a problem for future cori to consider tackling lol#my bro lost my original copy which had a hotd skin for juliet and im just hoping the replacement copy he bought me has the same one#or was it the kore wa zombie desu ka skin idr which one the gamestop version had like i had to figure out where i was buyin it on day 1#when i went to buy it there was even a juliet cosplayer also buying it with a cool chainsaw too that was fun#and then like a year later i went to an msi concert in juliet cosplay which was fun (i did that twice bc i was in college and they...#...ofc came to nyc again when they toured the next year again)#i wish id had time to make the cosplay but i didnt have my sewing machine and was more occupied w homestuck cosplays#but i bought it and still have it even tho i sure as shit aint gonna fit in that again lmao i think i snapped some seams last time#but yknow ive moved on to other things like remaking my dirk and bro cosplays from the same time period lmaoo#anyways this has been a ramble and a half sorry to anyone reading this far im just embarrassed abt being excited over this lol
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