#yeah I'm talking to myself.

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Ooh, you want to know what happens at the gay bar run by ex-pirates, ooh...You'll just have to read Tiger Tiger to find out...

(Inspired by this Disco Elysium comic)

[physical-manifestation-of-spite]

As an ace person, platonic love is so, so deeply important to me. And for Malevolent to do it so well genuinely makes my chest swell. I keep listening to Season One and how their relationship is this shakey, fragile thing full of manipulation and rage and resentment but there's a seed there of understanding and warmth and compassion. The fact that John and Arthur have fought tooth and nail against each other, to the point of trying to kill each other, only to then die for each other. To hold each other and pull each other back from their darkest moments, looking to them as a rock to hold them steady. And then to see that love fully blossom in Season 5, where Arthur holds back his anger ("I would have forgiven you.") and where John screams and rages and protects Arthur with everything he has. "My love for Arthur saved me," he says. "I choose you," he says.

They love each other so deeply, and it's a love that's just as equal and valued and warm as romantic love. Platonic love at this level is possible, and to see it so beautifully executed in a horror medium has me choked up.

[14dayswithyou]

no way you dropped the biggest river lore in the tags and moved on like it was nothing 😭 can i ask if this is still your intentions with him? bc it sounds like you changed your mind halfway 🤔

im ngl though i really enjoy how ren and river are similar and different to each other, but does that mean river would hurt his angel but leave our friends alone the same way ren would never hurt his angel but would unalive all of our friends? since they're suppose to be each other opposites. i really hope this makes sense 😬 my final question is what is ren doing on thursday? i want to go on a cute pier date again 🩷🌸

@secretkoa asked: and can i hear more about what unsent memory is suppose to be about or is that off limits? idk if i asked this in my previous question so ignore me if i did! thank yuo and remember to drink lots of water 🐸🌱

⌞♥⌝ For those who haven't seen the original post, I want to quickly clarify once more that while River was originally my OC, he's since been picked up and revamped by my friend Jesse/@unsentmemory!!

However, now that Jesse has stepped away from the yandere community, River's fate (and da fate of Unsent Memories) has kinda been put on the sidelines for the foreseeable future.

‼️ Massive Unsent Memories and River spoilers under the cut ‼️ CW for: mentions of gore, torture, mutilation, self-harm, etc.

With all of that being said, yes, Jesse's original intention for River was for him to be your standard "serial killer-turned-yandere once he accidentally catches feelings for his latest victim (Bunny)". The only main difference is that I originally planned for River to be a generic murderer first, whereas Jesse had him become a yandere right off the bat.

You also asked to know more about Unsent Memories, and I think giving a general synopsis(?) would be fine?? ^^ But basically... After getting involved in a car accident, Bunny wakes up with amnesia and gets tricked into thinking that this random guy — whom they've never met before — is their loving, supportive boyfriend named River. In turn, he convinces Bunny that staying in their shared home would be more beneficial than staying in the hospital as it might rekindle some old memories, he'd be able to take care of them, and it would be easier for them to recover at their own pace. But surprise!! River is actually a frequent patron at the Murderer Motel™ and now has trapped Bunny in his Torture Basement®!!! <3 He also maaaay or may not've been the one who hit them with Ren's car as well... ^^ Oopsie daisy hehe

And yeah!! Similar to what you've said, River was also supposed to share (somewhat of) a narrative foil with Ren!! I personally wanted them both to have similar, complimenting vibes with each other — all while having completely different/separate motives and incentives when it comes to the object of their affection. I'm glad to see it was conveyed well enough; even after Jesse's additions to River's characterisation :3 I know I already shared some examples in the previous tags, but I can share a few more:

Where Ren puts Angel's feelings and opinions above his own, River purposefully ignores Bunny's and does everything for his own personal benefit. Essentially, "I'm doing this for you" vs "I'm doing this for me".

While Ren would never dream about harming Angel in any capacity, he's perfectly happy to kidnap, extort, torture, and kill everyone else... In contrast to River, who's accustomed to torturing and brutalising others for his own twisted enjoyment and sees it as a way to show his interest in Bunny.

Kinda silly how Ren claims to be a freelance programmer (but is actually a hacker) and how River claims to work at a music shop (it's a coverup for his second torture chamber lmaoooo).

[CW: implications of SH] Ren is willing to go as far as mentally and physically hurting himself if Angel asks him to, whereas River is willing to physically mutilate Bunny if it means keeping them by his side. [end CW]

With that being said, you can assume that Ren is easily swayed by Angel's words, opinions, and emotions, whereas River can easily sway and manipulate Bunny due to his own feelings and emotions.

This is something I've actually mentioned before, but Ren always prefers things to be tidy, so he often cleans himself up after disposing of his victims. Compared to River, who casually wears the bloodstains with pride and blames it on getting a bit rough with someone else during a boxing match.

It's no secret that Ren is willing to change every aspect of himself to earn Angel's love, and River is willing to change his serial killer ways to return Bunny's love. Da power of friendship and repressed childhood memories gksdgjh T_T /silly

Ren pretends to be a Normal Guy© with tons of empathy to spare, whereas River pretends to be a Regular Person℗ with the heart of a himbo.

I could go on but you get da point lol

So, yeah!! This is essentially the vibes we had planned for River (and Unsent Memories) before Jesse stepped down /pos ^^ I feel like talking vaguely about UM is fine since River only has a small cameo in 14DWY — and I'm sure that if Jesse ever returns from war (/silly), they'll give River muuuuch more justice than I possibly can :3c

[tapeworrmart]

That time of year again for the ol Art vs Artist. This year I dyed my hair red inspired by the colour I use the most in my art and it's been the best decision I've made for my hair lol. Thanks again for all the love and support this year 🦂💖

Better quality pic of me below

[i-dont-talk-for-days-on-end]

Not even a year ago I made the switch from being a master student to working at the university and I cannot tell you what that did to my worldview ... A year ago, I thought everyone was so professional, and now today, in less then two hours I will stumble into my seminar like Uhhmmmm sorry if today's session does not seem 100% thought through, I wanted to put some more work in this morning, but then I overslept and then I was grasped by the urge to write Holmes/Watson porn. Yes yes the lads from the 1880s. Does this surprise anyone here given the topic of the seminar? Aaaanyway I hope you did today's reading assignment

[blackkatdraws2]

Blank Scripts AU OCs / Self Insert participants!!

Hey guys!! Just giving you a quick update that I'm still working on it! :3

I know some people are still waiting for their characters to be drawn and this is just an announcement to tell you guys that I'm still actively working on them! But I'm also working on other things [both IRL and my own projects] so progress is really slow uwaah 〒▽〒

Expect the illustrations to come out slowly! Please be patient with me!! 🙏 [Expected time for another illustration to come out is 1 month for each finished drawing.]

I've also been working on an animation too. Achromatic Loop AU viewers where you at?

↓ [LIST OF USERS I MADE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT FOR!!] ↓

@ask-the-gold-bear / @reader-writer-combo / @iyuray / @thenamesmobu / @test-url-please-ignore / @adventurecrimez / @tumbling-turmoil / @idunnowhattowriteheretbh / @commit-behicular-manslaughter / @felonius-glitch / @toon-topaz / @villiun / @thechaotichorselord / @altyem / @stylus427 / @employee052 / @how-is-this-taken / @juaneloriginal / @limelemonleaf / @wingedecho / @nineparlor69

I haven't forgotten about you guys <3 don't worry!!

[calamitoustide]

james potter as a line cook who blasts songs like Yeah! by USHER in the kitchen at 10 am every single morning and regulus as a server who's just trying to get through his shifts without crying in the walk in

[transyashiro]

hey you're a good artist and a generally good person but highkey throwing out posts regarding transandrophobia and trans men who may use the term that are really long and inscrutable to anyone not already involved in whatever discourse carousel is not really fun to see. i talk to trans guys in my real life and i've literally never even seen the word "transandrophobia" outside of tumblr. i don't think it needs litigating, and you're more likely just exposing an audience that very likely may not be familiar with whatever is going on there to some random, kinda extreme opinion for which they have just genuinely no reference point.

(that and, like, intersectionality exists and is useful and none of those posts ever use the word intersectionality ever so idk how useful their analyses actually are without that)

i'm pretty sure many transfems who follow me and all happen to be on the same damn site are aware of discussions of transandrophobia and transmisogyny in general, or ""discourse carousel"" as you called it, happening here. i can see my notes, you know. those of them who are uninterested in these posts for whatever reason can simply ignore them. and i genuinely don't give a fuck about trans guys who might find any of this offensive or worth getting defensive over. also, i happen to be a person with opinions and at the end of the day it's up to me if i want to make my position clear by reblogging something (that i know will resonate with a good chunk of my followers too, whom you for some reason decided to paint as ignorant). not sure what you were hoping to accomplish by sending me this, it's not like anyone's forcing you to follow me, nor is it your position to tell me what to put on my own blog

[scificrows]

Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.

Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):

In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.

It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]

The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]

Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]

In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]

In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]

Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.

[sebdoesthings]

I'm so glad i watched Sk8 the Infinity as an adult and not a teen so I didn't turn into one of those annoying idiots who complain about "renga not being canon because they didn't kiss"

[anomura]

so. i've been thinking probably way much about bucky's attachment/abandonment issues bc they're soooo loud to me like he clings to people so hard!!! he wants to be chosen!!! him asking gale "did you miss me?" after spending objectively not that much time apart half joking but half sincere bc he's used to people getting tired of him and leaving so he has to make sure.

And it makes gale saying no to london even more of a Big Deal. and paulina leaving him the morning after even when he asked her to stay!!! and lil kissing him but getting with dye!! and once again feeling rejected in the stalag when gale won't leave with him, won't even entertain the thought of it !! andddd not having anyone writing him letters, possibly not even his family for reasons we don't get to know but probably are a big part of why he has attachment issues

i've already said this but i'll say it again even though he's confident/cocky at times he doesn't... like himself . or has a lot of regard for his own life which we literally see in the show. he was Capital S Suicidal – bc of the stalag obviously but come on he drinks like crazy and gambles and smokes even before things get Really Bad. and the plane wing sceneeeee you don't goad your friend !! not even a random person but a Friend into hitting you if you're a well adjusted individual. And he was ready to give up fr when gale went down. he did not want to bail out with brady!!! AND him risking his eye to get gale a bike (which while yeah crazy yaoi moment . to me also ties into him needing to be wanted/needed so people won't leave him) so yeah clearly not huge on self preservation which at least in my perception is something that stems from self hatred

all of these rejections (even if justified at times) are probably a series of blows to his perception of himself/sense of self and just reaffirm to him in his head that he's not good enough and he is right to expect to be left by the people he loves. and he tries to stop that by clinging as hard as he can and not being expendable/replaceable. but if they do leave he can rationalize it because if everyone leaves him clearly it's his fault, he's the one lacking – which feeds his recklessness and self destructive coping mechanisms even more

[harmonysixx]

I wish I had a big brother who sang me sea shanties (and summoned hurricanes) when I'm upset.

[hacked-by-jake]

TW: Self Harm related

So, I wanted to share something. Something pretty personal. But today is a very special day to me and I don't have anyone in real life I can share this with. I'm just proud and so happy and I want to share this. But I also want to make spread some, maybe, hope and maybe some encouragement. Idk.

Yep, today I'm clean since 5 months. And I don't remember the last time I managed this. It's was many, many years ago. And to be honest, I was convinced that I will never manage this, so it's even more mind blowing for me that I actually did.

I'm clean since fucking 5 months. And this is probably one of the biggest milestones in my life and I'm just so damn proud and happy for myself.

I'm 23 years old. This is not a teenage thing. It's not for attention. It's not a joke. It's a real struggle, a real symptom, and it happens to every age.

And I just wanted to say: Have hope. It is possible. I had no hope. I never had expectations. But here I am. This is how I start into the new year, with lots of motivation and hope. And I promise you, it gets better. It always will get better. And you can do it as well. I'm seeing you, and I'm proud of you for facing your struggles every damn day, over and over again. 💚

But with those words, I also want to say, having a 'relapse' is not a shame. It's not a shame. You can try over and over again. You're not weak if you have a relapse. You're not a failure. You're the way you are and there is no shame with struggling. Of course, if you relapse, you will be disappointed, I know what I'm talking about. But it doesn't make you less worthy. It doesn't erase the steps you took. Even if you have a relapse, those time you were clean, it still counts the very exact same. This time counts, no matter what. Your struggles are real. And they always matter. But you deserve to be proud of yourself always. No excuses, no 'but's', you should always be proud of yourself. 💚

I see you all. I see your struggles. And I'm proud of you. You're amazing for facing it every day. And you're loved. And important. You matter, always! 💚

'The sun will raise and we will try again' 💚

[nostalgiaclown]

Hey do you think there's a deeper meaning or reason Spite looks just like Lucanis...

There's the scene by the fireplace and I picked up on how Lucanis closes his eyes as he turns his head to avoid looking at Spite...

It's like looking in a mirror, right, and your reflection is staring back as you deliberately hurt yourself with your words.

Lucanis, I think, is stuck in a cycle of 'It’s all I know.' 'It's what I'm good at.' But there's cracks there that hint this isn't who he wants to be...

"Death is my calling."

I don't think he actually believes that, but he has to tell himself that, right?

I don't think he's ever been given the chance to explore who he wants to be, he's just been told this is who he is...

Demons are bound when you 'tell' them what they are so loudly that it's all they can hear. They have to be what you want." But a spirit who evolves to become more of a "real person" is less malleable than a spirit and if they have the certainty of who they are and who they desire to be, they can resist binding entirely.

Did someone else bind the spirit to him by force? Corrupt its nature so fit the needs of the user?

If Spite was originally Love (as I've seen some people comment Love being the opposite of Spite) and they were forcibly bound to Lucanis for whatever reason, did that cause Love to twist into Spite?

I think we're going to have to heal both Lucanis and Spite from whatever grief or trauma they've been through, make him come to terms and accept whatever fucked up thing happened, so it sticks, and he stops just "wiping the slate clean".

He comes across to me as a guy who's just like going through the motions, and needs more of a push to change, for himself.

Nevertheless, it is not unheard of for spirits to evolve and become more "human" by coming to terms with grief, heal from being emotionally hurt, and thus be able to learn from what they endured. By coming to terms with grief, a spirit is able to grow as a person and not "wash clean" like a spirit."

Then I was reading up on spirit healers, and again, there's that same theme of trust here, the spirit trusting the 'mage' and also the loss of trust when being tricked by a benevolent spirit...

To gain the services of such benevolent and righteous beings requires that the mage earn their trust. Often this requires a series of trials to prove that the mage's goals are as noble as the spirit demands, though some mages have claimed to command the compliance of such spirits through sheer force of charisma.

So if Spite was Love, imagine if the trust was broken from the get-go, by whoever brought them over from the fade, that surely would cause Love to twist into Spite?

More than one tale exists of a spirit healer being fooled by a demon masquerading as a benevolent spirit, and inadvertently bringing them across the Veil... or being tricked into letting down their guard, and possessed.

On the flip side, Lucanis is not a mage(?) but if he needed help or something idk- and he was tricked and possessed that way - tricked by 'Love'? Owch, the loss of trust there...

Oh and if Spite just a spirit of Love that was corrupted by Lucanis' own feelings? Like how Justice twisted into Vengeance(?)

We know Lucanis is relearning how to trust, and he's a romantic.

How can you trust others If you don't trust yourself? Spite feels like intrusive thoughts made manifest... And how can you Love others if you have no Love left for yourself? Spite seems to be chipping away at Lucanis slowly... he looks so tired.

What exactly happened to him, I wonder, I can't wait to find out cause it's gonna hurt...

[dootznbootz]

Menelaus rambles a lot about not only Helen, but also Hermione. About how she used to say Olive like "Olifs". How she lost her first tooth running too fast and running into a low branch while out with Helen. How he'd sometimes wake up to Hermione leaning over him and poking his face to say, "Dad, can we go see the horses?" even though it was barely daylight. How she was much nicer waking Helen and how he thinks Hermione did that on purpose because she found "dad's face funny". How her favorite color was every color.

And Odysseus listens.

And he thinks about how his son only had a few teeth coming in when he left, teething on everything. How he could only say one syllable with his babbles. How his son needed balance to stand but Odysseus was so proud that Telemachus was very good at rolling over. How his son loved pulling at his and Penelope's hair.

How his son would be talking, walking, maybe even lost his first tooth by now. And he doesn't even know if he'll ever know his son's favorite color.