#yeah I'm going crazy
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MY GOD. I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING.
you know that part in the sneak peek of "King" where the choir sings "ODYSSEUS". The melody sounds like when the choir sings "POLIPHEMUS" in "Survive" in the Cyclops Saga.
like I know it's not the same melody, but the way it's sung, the low chorus, the separation of well-punctuated syllables, the repetition of names and the length of the notes in the last repetition. In my head it seems like a lot. Also the imminent danger situation in both scenes, even in different POVs, is something to be noted.
and I don't know if Jay has made this comparison at some point and I'm probably being stupid for not researching it beforehand, but I haven't had time to see all of his tiktoks yet and I really wish I had someone to talk about this incredible musical. I'll go insane if I don't share my hype with someone.
#yeah I'm going crazy#this musical is so fucking good#It's 1am and I'm freaking out with random thoughts like this#epic the musical#jorge rivera herrans#epic the circe saga#epic the cyclops saga#epic the ocean saga#epic the troy saga#epic the underworld saga#odysseus
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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Hatchetfield @femslashfortnight Day 1: Make It Sapphic AU
#once again we are ignoring the fact that it is not technically still day 1 where I live#look i am only like 30 minutes off so it's fine.#it's still day 1 in 3/4 of the US so we're fine#anyways here's sapphic Holloween because we all deserve a little bit of that in our lives#Inspired by the incredibly talented Snarky-wallflower#if you are reading this you simply must go check her out#she's an amazing author and a rad person so there are no downsides in lookin her up#but yeah that's crazy i finished two drawings in one day whoa#like i said i've got events back to back to back to back right now#so i've got another drawing to work on for tomorrow#but i'm not doing every day for this one#i've got art fight to prepare for as well#and work stuff to work on#fun fact: the most abundant mineral in the earth's mantle is Olivine#which is this beautiful green color#and even though it is so common#i do not have it in my collection smh#gotta get me some of that#did you know that i love rocks and minerals#i think i will start doing more rock facts because i've got plenty of those#hatchetfield femslash fortnight#holloweane#holloduke#miss holloway#duke keane#butch!duke keane#hatchetfield#nightmare time#nightmare time 2#kim whalen
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Eddie hated this and he'd just started.
See, he was so proud when he made it, when he got his first office job. He saw what decades of physical labor did to Wayne's back, his hands, and he wanted to make his uncle proud. So he kept applying and applying and getting ignored and rejected and finally, finally he got a job in a pretty large corporate. Not exactly something prestigious, but hey, it had potential. The experience counted and all that.
He thought maybe workplaces would be different, that the good ol' high school dynamic would fuck off, but no. He was sitting at his desk, trying to fill in paperwork after a taxing phone call, but all he could focus on was whispering from the neighboring cubicle that was ostentatiously loud. He didn't know who sat there yet, the guy had been on vacation for the two weeks Eddie was in the company. From the stuff he was hearing, he was getting introduced anyway and not exactly the way he'd have liked to be.
"Can you believe they actually let him work here?" It was Carol, of course it was, the office gossip and mean girl knockoff. "I mean, he doesn't even look decent! Did you see that hair?" Okay, that hurt. He actually pulled his hair into a neat bun every morning, but you can't please some people. "And he has tattoos, what would our customers think if they actually met him, plus you should have heard the rumors about his past-!"
But just as he was about to slam down the pile of paperwork and either take an extended smoke break or gently ask Carol to go fuck a polar bear, he heard another voice. Bored and wonderfully bitchy.
"That's absolutely fascinating, Carol. Please tell me more, what could this guy possibly have done? It must be something juicy. Did he perhaps fuck his boss during the Christmas party and then lie about it to his boyfriend of five years? Oh wait no. That was you. Silly me."
Eddie had to bite his pencil to stay quiet, but his whole chest hurt by trying to keep the snickering in. And then the offended gasp. "I- you promised you wouldn't-!"
"I didn't promise shit, Carol. You just came to me, cried your eyes out - bad move by the way, invest in some waterproof mascara for god's sake, mascara in wrinkles doesn't good on anyone, and yes, you do have wrinkles - and tried to play the victim. Except I heard your small proposition to the guy before so it didn't really work out. But it's fine, you know," and oooh, the tone was smug, so bored, Eddie loved this guy already, "Tommy saw you as well and had a good time with Nicole to get even. So there's nothing to worry about. Now tell me, what did this horrible Eddie Munson do to summon wrath of such a righteous woman such as yourself?"
Eddie heard a sharp sound as Carol got up from the desk. "Fuck you, Steve Harrington," she spat out and sped past Eddie's seat. He just gave her a small salute.
When the sound of high heels faded, Eddie leaned over the cubicle wall and knocked to draw the guy's attention. And yeah, maybe he was a little bit biased because he'd just obliterated a textbook definition of a shrew, but this Steve was fucking gorgeous, light brown eyes looking at him, a smug smirk tugging at his lips.
"Oh hi," said Steve and offered his hand, shaking Eddie's. "Sorry for that. I'm Steve Harrington and whatever deepest, darkest secrets you're hiding, I don't care, I'm pretty sure I've heard them all. What did you do? Shave your head in school? Join a cult? Cut dolls apart and chant hail Satan?"
That had Eddie laughing again, but he still had an introduction to make. A proper one. "Nice to meet you, Steve. Eddie Munson, and I'm worse than your darkest nightmares. I sometimes wear socks in sandals."
Steve's eyebrow twitched. "Oh, Carol was right, you are a monster!" he muttered. "Speaking of monsters..." His head leaned to the side, towards Carol who was angrily carrying her coffee mug, her mascara running again.
Before he could catch himself, Eddie leaned over the wall and whispered as loudly as he could muster. "Can you believe some people wear dotted dresses with stripes on their stockings? We can't all be born with taste, I guess...tragic."
And again, maybe Eddie was just biased, but Steve's laughter was so pretty that it actually made dealing with Carol's bullshit worth it.
#steddie#steddie au#steddie drabble#corporate au#coworkers au#stranger things#stranger things au#stranger things drabble#yeah so I'm crazy busy and kind of not doing too well#so this is not proofread#but I wanted to put something small together so here you go
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Have a wip because I'm going fucking insane
#guys guys I'm going CRAZY thanks for asking 🤭#the other guy is bill btw#well sort of#the Lore™ is he's a guy ford saw at the library one time and had like a passing thought of 'hes cute'#and bill being the insane jealous Whatever he is decided the best way to handle that shit was posess the guy#anyway yeah get bisexual anne hathaway'd loser#my art#doodles#gravity falls#stanford pines#bill cipher#fiddleford mcgucket#billford#fiddauthor#fordsquared
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"Sarge wanted to die in a blaze of glory so him going out that way would be appropriate" sorry?? I get nobody wants to take his character seriously but like. Sarge is a mentally ill old man who's dehumanized himself to the point of only thinking he's an item for war and battle and you wanna prove him right??? You think that's a satisfying end for him?? Explode.
#YEAH MAYBE IM CRAZY BUT I THINK HE DESERVES TO HEAL AND LET HIMSELF BE A PERSON#I'm sorry I'm going through the 5 stages of grief before anything even happens#Rvb
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"The two had never been close after the Beatles' split, but I know they'd met and talked a number of times. John's style was to walk away and stay away -- as he did with me: once his mind was made up he didn't go back. But he and Paul had had a deep and enduring affection for each other since they were teenagers and it had never disappeared."
-Cynthia Lennon, John (2005), pg. 386
#mclennon#sorry this one just made me. goofy-floating.gif#rn i'm trying to speedrun check this book by ctrl + f'ing 'paul' in a pdf i found#bc someone in the replies to that debunk said they think it's from this book#as far as i'm finding it's not bc i searched the quote and 'looked at' and theres nothing#so now im searching 'paul' just to be sure it's not smth similar#but this quote made me :((((((#bc her being like yeah his style was to fuck off and never go back and he did that even w me but Not With Paul#crazy. craaaazy#who needs that fake cyn quote when you have shit like this
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did you go camping or something during July Political Hell Week
that's actually pretty close, bc I was technically on a campground and I was sleeping in a cabin- I could've been online if I wanted to? It was for the whole week, but it was a really really busy trip, I didn't get my phone out much at all, and now I'm home with an extremely sore body, a light brush of poison ivy, and a sunburn Hugo shared a bed with me on the trip btw so here's him
#he slept on one side of the bed and yes he did lay his head on the pillow consistently#every night he'd lay his head on the pillow.#but yeah I was in Ohio visiting people#and my days were just really packed so I was very unplugged#I did like.. there was a bunch of stuff but I went kayaking and I swam and did cedar point and the zoo and a zipline tour#and many many many many hours in a car.#and I'm really exhausted LMAO and I come back to the world in the state it's in. crazy#I didn't go on twitter At All on my trip#sergle answers#Hugo
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#AUUUGH WAILING SCREAMING CRYING SLIDING DOWN THE WALL SOBBING#BROCEDES PLEASE WHY COULDN'T YOU TWO HAVE BEEN NON-FAMOUS#WHY DID YOU DRAG ALL OF US INTO YOUR SITUATIONSHIP#my mom is sick of me wailing about them. nearly collapsed at work when i remembered 'yes... and team-mate'#sliver springs is going platinum in my house rn#how can you be childhood friends and just fall apart like that? i think about falling out with tas like that and i go nearly catatonic#yeah you're a 7x wdc winner and you got the one wdc that you wanted but was it worth it? was this loss worth it? would you do it again?#going by the interviews they probably would and that's why they fell out in the first place. i literally cannot imagine caring about some#trophy over my childhood best friend but like i guess that's why they're pro level athletes and i'm in my room posting about them#anyway what the fuck was up during f1 photographers during their fallout? why is every photo of them cinematic? did you know we'd be using#them? did you know we'd go crazy? or were you also like 'oh this is cinema in the making. i gotta capture this.'?#anyway for all of that want to know where the quote is from‚ it's jacob black from twilight when bella is getting turned into a vamp#stephanie meyer had one (1) banger line and it was this#brocedes#brocedes edit#f1 edit#f1 web weaving#nico rosberg#lewis hamilton#nr6#lh44#formula 1#web weaving#please ignore my absolutely atrocious photo editing skills. thank you imgflip!!
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pest control TWO!!!!! heres the first one
adn heres the obligatory bonus bc i can't help myself :')
#i already threatened that little basard twice in these i may as well make good on it#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#the noise#fp ''oh god wait that is not a real rat and also tastes awful'' moments. he doesnt actually have any interest in eating that thang ok#even if seeing a small scampering little guy like that WILL activate his prey drive without fail#peppino loves it he thinks it's the funniest shit in the world for fp to go after noise. so he is always encouraging this.#but anyway yeah. fp is *really* not the one noise should be worried about.#arting#pizzaposting#i still have lots of tag room thjis time so im gonna do some tangential nonsense rambling. e#fp gotta be like crazy good at hunting i think. not just for strength and predator instincts but also bc like#he doesn't have much in the way of a scent or body heat or anything that would give him away as an alive thing#not to mention he's uh... not particularly organically-shaped a lot of the time#so esp. to smaller prey that don't like... memorize a landscape; if he holds very still he's like completely undetectable#total ambush king. though i'm sure hes also very good at#persistence and pursuit hunting since he has peppino's speed and no way of getting muscle fatigue. ultimate beast#fortunately he doesnt care that much and doesnt really need to eat so hes not devastating the local ecosystem or anything#except for the rats.
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I will forever be so upset that the Ice Chapter didn't give us a Kai VS Ice Emperor fight like come OOOON!
And I'm not even coming at this from an oppo angle. Like yeah, I love oppo, everyone knows that, but it just feels like such a missed opportunity to have Kai have to fight Zane and have him be the one to get him to snap out of it. But no, it has to be Lloyd because he's Lloyd.
And another thing that makes me so upset regarding the missed potential here is the fact that in the Fire Chapter, the big bad villain is Aspheera. And at the end of the Fire Chapter, Zane is the one who defeats her, you know, the master of ice. So then in the Ice Chapter, it would make sense that the one to defeat the big bad would be Kai since he's the master of fire and it would make for good parallels or whatever. But no we don't get that.
At the very least we get that awesome, badass scene where Kai defeats Boreal and saves the others. That scene was amazing, I just with we got a little more from Kai, you know?
#ninjago#lego ninjago#kai smith#kai jiang#zane julien#should i tag this as oppo? i'm gonna tag this as oppo#oppositeshipping#sorry for ranting out of nowhere i just started thinking about this and wanted to post about my thoughts#the ice chapter just makes me go crazy thinking about what could have been#also wanna mention the other problem i have that would have been fixed if kai was the one who had to fight the ice emperor:#but the fact that the rest of the ninja never get to see the ice emperor has always annoyed me so much#like yeah they figure out on their own that zane is the ice emperor#but by the time they get to his castle it's already over because zane got his memories back#but they never get to see the ice emperor! and that makes me so upset!#i mean unless you wanna count that one short but that wasn't the real ice emperor so i don't count it
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I always think well if I dated a man, I wouldn't feel as insane. I wouldn't feel so awful or jealous. And then I remember why I came to the conclusion that I'm a lesbian. I just wouldn't care if it were a man. I just can't bring myself to care about men like that 😔😩😭
#personal#I've definitely been like oh hes paying attention to another girl thats a shame :((( about it like damn you were supposed to pine for me#forever and ever#but its never like I'm going to kill someone over it. I don't feel sick about it. I don't feel bone crushing sorrow#😭😔#but I feel like maybe I experience comphet a tad? because I look at cute couples like jenna and julien#or jessi and ty and wish to have that. like i want what they have so bad but also that will never be me because im gay#i wish there was more lesbian and gay rep in media#god does not LIKE ME . he said here is. bad parents who hate you. here is bpd and other undiagnosed issues#and other undiagnosed issues that were probably half the reason you felt so isolated in your high school experience. thanks to bad parents#here is 🩷 COMPHET!!!!!!!!!!@@ you're actually GAY and those boys you were crazy for? yeah . they were cute and all but thats IT#NO emotional connection!!!! none at ALL!!!!! 😍😍😍 you also don't feel sexually attracted to them either ♡#but what DO i feel for men?? just comphet? I feel something I think but its not love. its not a craving . its like#I want to be worshipped by a man and then tell him no 🩷 i want nothing to do with you but you should like me actually#??????????????????#does that make me a bad person? do I care if it does? I mean
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yea sooooo I may have or may have not watched and instantly rewatched all kuro musicals in existence in a spawn of one week and now have roughly 40 screenshots to redraw from
I think I might be insane or something
#it's all sebaciel of course#god I wish I could erase my memory and rewatch the most beautiful death and tango on the campania#the latter I watched like 3 times but death I found a long long while ago so now it must've been my tenth or so rewatch#and I'm still so not normal about the final song and overall parallels between sebaciels and alan x eric i'm fijsdfdjfo#and sebastian is so dumb he is sO BLIIIINDDDD IT'S CRAZY#“me? going against my nature and principles over some tiny human? I could neve-” yeah bro mhm talk about it after the gwa and rciel reveal#also fellas is it gay to *pretend* to try to wake up your master just so you can have an excuse to carry him?#and then sing about how every night you fantasize about kissing him and holding him?#is it fellas??#and the whole scene of alan's death when in his memories he and eric VERY PLATONICALY look at falling petals and he goes#“ah so beautiful it looks like snowfall :)”#and fucking moments later sebastian kills eric the souls are flying everywhere just so ciel could go#“ah so beautiful it looks like snowfall :|”#I'm going fucking insaine I hate it here every time is like the first#"some things are simply meant to be beautiful” proceeds to STARE AT CIEL FOR A GOD DAMN ETERNITY#I can't I literally can't I'm miserable#sebaciel#was so busy with my rant I even forgot to include the tag at first oh my god
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Hatchetfield @femslashfortnight Day 2: Retro
#would you look at that- it’s another hfff drawing#incredible#some Hollowebby for the soul#I just really think they’re neat yknow#This isn't one of my favorite drawings but hey thats alright#that's cool#they can't all be bangers but for what it's worth it isn't horrible#anyways yeah#now i'm going to go work on Art Fight stuff#very exciting#I don't know how much I'm going to be able to do for it but I guess we'll find out#so much drawing this summer#it's crazy i've been out of school for two weeks and i've drawn like 10 things already#these hands cant stop wont stop#Anyways I love the idea of them skating#I'm a roller blader myself but the skates are cute#did some fun textures and reflections in this one too#I love roller blading tho#wish I could do it more often#fun fact: despite it's portrayal in minecraft- obsidian ranks at a 5-6 on the mohs hardness scale- being the same hardness as opal or glass#idk that's what i came up with for todays fact- i feel like most people know that one but idk#hatchetfield femslash fortnight#hollowebby#miss holloway#webby#hatchetfield#nightmare time#starkid#team starkid#kim whalen
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I think if I were to put Percy in an alternate house Id actually make him a puff
like i get where people are coming from with he's ambitious = he's Slytherin like yeah makes sense
but I think i could make the same argument with He's hardworking = he's Hufflepuff
though this is more for like outside reasons
If he (or any Weasley really) was put in Slytherin i think the rest of the family would really not take it well at all
I wont say to extent of outright disownment but the way that person would be treated would be way worse especially by their siblings
that disappointment would be there with any house tbh but with like Hufflepuff it gets turned into a small thing
light jabs and such vs outright hostility
little things that build up over time that fit's thematically with how Percy felt less and less like he belonged in his family but that said family didn't think anything of saying
vs a strong explosion that a Slytherin sorting would cause
#percy weasley#really think you can make anyone fit in any house if you try hard enough#granted i don't like changing character houses much in my own stuff in general because it makes my brain go down the#“What is nature what is nurture how would their experiences change them” pipeline#their life would change so much from a young age what with who they spend the most time with and if they even feel at home in their house#And well because alot of characters i like in this series already don't have much to go on#so changing one of like three things we know about them makes no sense to me because is it even them anymore#though Percy doesn't actual fall into that category#but yeah i think if i ever did he would be a puff#also I do think Percy is Loyal too but most people might look at me like I'm crazy for that since he leaves his family#Elise's Thoughts and Concepts
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Fluent Freshman - Part 18
PREVIOUS
Weirdly enough the only thing that FF can think of as they head down the stairs is the first Saw movie.
That one happened IN a bathroom right? He kind of watched all of them in a row to prepare himself for whatever Andrew might decide to do to him. But he’s near positive that one happened in a bathroom. It was derelict and he didn’t think it really had running water (or did it? Didn’t the guy wake up in a half-full tub? His memory is hazy in his bathroom related desperation and may be trying to protect him from thinking about water).
All leading to the main thought going through his head as he slowly headed down the narrow stairway to his death.
Would Andrew let him use the facilities before he’s handcuffed to a pipe?
The worst part about all of this is that he is not sure if he needs to take a dump or if he just needs to fart, he knows he has to take a piss. He’s read that when you die your body will relax and it’ll all just flow out of you and Nicky gave him these pants so he feels bad but he also does not want to face his death without pants. If he needs to take a shit then they’re definitely going to be absolutely ruined, if it’s a fart well…Andrew can’t kill him any further? He can mutilate his corpse a little but FF won’t be around to experience it.
No matter what he’s definitely going to piss himself. He had way too much water at Sweeties trying to consume the spicy ice cream.
You may be wondering why FF has not run away from his predicament and is walking down these steps without protest or comment or plea for his life.
First of all he is pretty sure that if he makes any sudden movements he will ruin these pants that Nicky bought for him. Second of all Andrew had already told him once that he wouldn’t accept any pleading for mercy he still remembers how he asked Andrew, “Please give me back my pen?” and Andrew had shot him a look that had his stomach cramp and his fingers itch for the bottle sweet pink relief in his backpack.
“I don’t like that word, don’t use it around me.” He said.
FF ever the pragmatic sort, “Which one?” He had asked because he had said a few, “I don’t want there to be a misunderstanding.” He followed up with when Andrew glowered at him only for the glare’s intensity to increase 10 fold.
“Don’t use the first word of your first statement or the last word of your second.” Andrew grit out and got up to leave without a word.
Message received loud and clear Andrew did NOT like words ‘Please’ or ‘Misunderstanding’.
So FF knows that any pleading for mercy would ABSOLUTELY result in Andrew not letting him take a bathroom break before him and Captain Neil make destroying him into a couple activity. The fact that Captain Neil is here is a bit of a shock but maybe Captain Neil has finally gotten the other Freshman Dealer up to snuff.
Maybe Kevin really did want to dissect him to figure out how Strikers keep passing straight to him?
They reach the door at the bottom of the stairs.
Ah, time to face the music.
At least he’d texted Gran that he was going to die when they had gotten into the club and the bathroom had not made itself readily apparent. Sure it was about his current ‘gotta piss / gotta shit’ situation but he’d been wise to keep his cause of death vague in that text.
The door opens and…
This is the NICEST torture chamber FF has EVER seen. (And after his desperation watch of all the Saw movies he has seen quite a FEW)
“Minyard, Josten, and Guest. Table 6 is yours.” A voice comes from the side and when he looks over there’s a man in quite a nice uniform standing behind a soft-lit bar polishing a glass looking every bit like a bar tender at those high-end places you see in movies. He looks around a bit more and there are some other people down here. It’s not quiet per se but it is a comfortable level of noise in comparison to the IQ dropping noise upstairs.
“C’mon Smith.” Andrew juts his chin towards a table in the back.
FF follows but continues to try and fit this nice little room into his world view.
Do these people watch other people get tortured to death for fun on a Friday night? Unlikely considering the upholstery on the booths and chairs looked like it’d stain if blood got on it. Was this perhaps a trafficking location where Andrew would sell off his organs to the highest bidder? He looked at the other patrons who seemed a bit higher class than the general club scene upstairs but not like they had the money to buy one of his kidneys. Maybe-
“Do not tell Nicky about this place, ever.” Andrew says as they slide into the booth. FF nods but can’t help but tilt his head slightly in an unspoken question, “He would absolutely tell any and everyone about it. Eden’s wants to keep this place a secret from the general public.” Andrew explains.
“Nicky currently thinks that there’s a straight swingers club down here.” Captain Neil says with a huff of laughter.
“Eden’s is cool, even though there’s some sick shit in the basement.” Floats through his head again.
What the fuck was a swinger?
His fingers itch for his phone but he’s currently talking with Andrew and Captain Neil so that’d be rude but they’re talking to him like he absolutely knows what a swinger is and he DOES NOT.
“It’s quieter down here. Figured you’d prefer it.” Andrew says as he gets up and heads towards the bar down here where the bartender was aggressively cutting ice chunks.
He and Captain Neil sit in silence for a few seconds before Captain Neil offers him a slight smile, “I know you’d rather be with your grandma and you and Andrew prefer not to say things out loud but we’ve really liked hanging out with you.” Captain Neil says.
????????????????????????????????????????????????
That’s such a nice thing to say to someone.
Especially someone like FF.
Especially especially when they’re planning on killing him?
He hopes his confusion stays off his face as he nods once. “It’s been fun.” It’s not even really a lie. Thanksgiving yesterday had been nice and loud and FF had missed the chaos of a Family Dinner more than he had ever realized. The car ride had been…a time but once he’d asked Andrew to either keep his eyes on the road or let him out Andrew’s hands had stayed at 10 and 2 and the ride had been smooth. Aaron and Nicky’s weight against him had been nice too, a warm memory before he developed a possible life long aversion to whipped cream. He’d gotten to go Black Friday shopping and Captain Neil even helped carry it home for him. Baking bad been nice even if the stress of doing it with his life on the line was less so. The subsequent nap and day spent doing normal college guy things had been…it’d all been nice.
It’s starting to feel like….
“Drink this.” Andrew puts a drink down in front of him.
No Andrew definitely wants his bladder to burst.
“What is it?” He asks instead looking at the creamy looking drink with suspicion.
Andrew rolls his eyes as he hands Neil a fruity looking drink as he sits with what is a few fingers of scotch. “It’s virgin.” Andrew says not answering the question at all and must pick up that FF won’t be drinking it until he gets the full answer because he continues after a moment, “It’s like a Pina Colada but with bananas instead.” Andrew answers.
It’s not that FF hates banana but why in the world would Andrew grab him this? Was it just one of the few virgins options on this place’s fancy menu or-
“Bananas will help get your stomach acid back down.” Andrew says, “Since you’re an idiot and ate that mango ice cream just because you wanted to impress that girl.” He rolls his eyes.
“Impress that girl?” There weren’t any girls at the table and how in the world would him eating that god-forsaken spicy ice cream impress anyone other than Betsy. Even Betsy would only be impressed by the depths he was willing to reach just to avoid what he perceives as an awkward social situation.
“The waitress.” Neil reminds him as if that cleared anything up.
“Yeah,” he says as if he has understood the conversation but he has not. “It was spicy mango.” He says because maybe if he keeps the conversation going he’ll get enough context clues to understand what might be his last conversation.
Andrew let out a huff of laughter and pushed FF’s drink closer to him, “Drink your fancy Banana smoothie Casanova.” He says.
No closer to understanding the conversation he accepts that it might be something that only becomes clear after he sheds his mortal coil and is no longer given a -10 INT debuff by his full bladder and revolting stomach.
He takes a sip.
Oh that’s actually pretty good.
It feels like he can feel it sizzling in his stomach and soothing the discomfort there. Maybe he should look into Banana smoothies as a replacement for what Abby has called a ‘concerning co-dependence’ in regards to Pepto Bismol. No one can put him on a medical watch if it’s just banana smoothies he’s chugging down like they’re going out of style.
“Thanks,” he says, “that was good.” He admits before reaching into his jacket and moving past the Megamind toy and grabbing his wallet. “What do I owe you for that?” He asks.
“We’re even.” Andrew waves away the money.
“You bought the stuff for breakfast, those brownies, and the pie tomorrow.” Neil says and FF blinks surprised to hear that they were talking about the pie he didn’t think he was going to get the chance to make.
“You don’t need to buy a spot with us.” Andrew says and FF leans back slightly at the intensity on Andrew’s face as he says it. “I invited you here because I wanted to. The brownies were good but if you don’t feel like making the pie tomorrow? It’s not like I’m going to drive you back to Palmetto and leave you on Abby’s doorstep.” He says.
FF feels gears start to turn in his head.
“It’s good pie.” He hears himself say.
“I didn’t even know about the pie when I invited you.” Andrew says and…
Andrew and FF sit in silence but honestly it’s not like Andrew’s sharpening his knives. The two of them mostly just do their own work or read. FF has been getting his German literacy up to snuff so that he can read the language when he goes there to visit Nicky’s fiance next year. He likes how serious Andrew is about learning it so that he doesn’t have to ask Captain Neil a thousand questions and it’d be nice if Andrew wasn’t obviously planning on murdering him.
Andrew brings dried apples and sends Captain Neil along with probiotic yogurts to their meetings. Both of those things tend to soothe his stomach and the yogurt that had been unflavored before was now vanilla which he liked a fair bit. It would have been a really nice gesture if it wasn’t for the fact that Andrew was making fun of his tummy troubles.
Andrew will put his foot down in practice sometimes when Kevin is getting too demanding wanting to know exactly how FF intercepted his passes to Neil. Kevin always backs off and Andrew will do the same when Jack starts to get a little too personal in his attacks at FF or when Sheena decides she’s going to be a bitch. It’d be nice if it wasn’t Andrew staking his claim that he was the one who was going to make FF’s life miserable.
Andrew drove FF around for an hour after Greg had shown up. He found out later from one of his friends that Andrew had threatened Greg after he had power walked away into the building. Andrew had driven him around and had only started heading towards the tower when FF had relaxed. It would have been nice if Andrew wasn’t trying to lure him into a false sense of security.
Andrew had invited him to his Family’s house over Thanksgiving when the bad storm had ruined his Thanksgiving plans. Andrew had threatened Jack to stop him from eating his Grandma’s pie and complaining about it. Andrew had stopped messing around with Captain Neil when FF had made it clear he was uncomfortable being in a car where the driver wasn’t paying attention to the road. Andrew had twice made him go to bed in the last couple hours.
It’d be nice if…
“We’ve really liked hanging out with you” Captain Neil had said.
Andrew was just trying to be nice.
Embarrassment rolls over him like a wave but FF has many years of pretending like he’s not going to die from embarrassment, “Thanks for inviting me. I’ll still probably make the pie tomorrow.” He offers.
Andrew’s eyes change slightly and FF is under the impression that he’s happy to hear that.
“Just enjoy your drink Smith.” Andrew says.
FF does go back to sipping his drink and letting more and more memories of things Andrew had done come to him and lets his embarrassment grow.
He finishes his drink and only then realizes that he is a code red in terms of bladder capacity. The new knowledge that this is not a torture chamber but in fact yet another overture of friendship from Andrew paired with his desperation finally loosens the question from his mouth, “Where’s the bathroom here?” He asks.
“There isn’t one downstairs but just head up stairs and hug the wall to the left.” Captain Neil answers.
“Bring your phone. If Frank doesn’t recognize you to let you back in.” Andrew reminds him.
FF nods and heads out of the club and up the stairs.
He might be doing a bit of a potty dance so he forces himself to become unnoticeable because he does not need cool people at a cool club to see him about to piss himself. Once he enters into a stealth mode that the United States Military would like to talk to him about he hugs the wall and nearly cries tears of relief when he sees a door labelled MEN.
He doesn’t think about the possibility of letting up on stealth mode because he is sure that he is about to make a face that he does NOT want any human being to see when he unzips his pants and starts to take the world’s most life-affirming piss on the planet.
As his bladder empties his brain is able to process the understanding that he had come to down in the basement he had thought would be his final resting place.
Andrew has been trying to be nice (and succeeding it was all so nice! He feels like an asshole! He is an asshole! Gran always told him that assuming makes an Ass out of U and Me. He had just thought it was funny grandma humor not valuable life advice!)
The night wasn’t going to end with Andrew’s knife in his stomach, it was probably just going to end with Nicky puking on his shoes (which is fine because these are the shoes Nicky was letting him borrow for the club anyways, they’re his shoes to puke onto.)
A secondary relief fills his system. His stomach, soothed by the Banana smoothie and now this, feels like it might actually let him live through the night.
While FF was distracted with a piss that would have made any number of cult leaders jealous with the number of divine revelations he was experiencing he failed to notice a second man enter the bathroom.
There was a reason that FF always ALWAYS became noticeable when he was at a urinal and the man who came to the urinal right next to him was showcasing that VERY reason.
He was trapped here for at least ten more seconds and he could hear the man grumbling distractedly but didn’t really pay it too much attention until…
“Fucking Wesninski Brat.” He grumbled under his breath.
Oh god dammit.
NEXT
MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
Per your requests:
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#Fluent Freshman AU#FINALLY CAN PUT DOWN MY TAGS#You have no idea the number of times that I had to sing hollaback girl to myself during this#It was B-A-N-A-N-A-S#We have now closed the 'Andrew is going to crazy murder me' emotional arc#The 'Oh god if Andrew or Neil find out that I know Russian they're going to stop being my friends and hate me' arc begins#He's gotten a confirmed 3 friends today#And he got to go to the bathroom#He's riding a high#Not only is it 3 friends it is 3 friends who like him enough to invite him to spend the holiday break together#That's so nice#Andrew is so nice#FF cannot BELIEVE he thought Andrew 'eat these dried apples' Minyard was going to stab him#Captain Neil is lucky to have him#Also Andrew is lucky to have Captain Neil#Neil and Andrew are definitely down in the Speakeasy right now enjoying FF's bathroom break#Andrew's ordered FF another round of Banana daiquiri#Andrew: I can't believe he ate that ice cream. His stomach must have been killing him.#Neil: Yeah he was really pale and sweaty until he started drinking that banana drink#Neil: I'm a little worried about Smith finding the bathroom. Maybe I should go up?#Andrew hand on Neil's thigh: he'll be fine. We can go look if he's not back in 10.#AFTG AU#AFTG OC#AFTG#AFTG Shitpost#AFTG Fic#My Fic#Andreil#FF - Pt.18
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