#yeah I know it was a test but meh

[finemealcreates]

This is a meme for a story stuck in WIP hell :3

[adore-gregor]

my perception of grades totally changed since i started uni

[sunderwight]

Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.

Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.

I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.

All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!

Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.

Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?

Shen Yuan: what do you mean?

Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?

Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*

Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...

Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?

Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???

Shen Yuan: don't make it weird

Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???

Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating

Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--

Shen Yuan: hey

Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--

Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!

Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--

Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking

Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!

Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--

Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince

Shen Yuan: *mumbling*

Shang Qinghua: what was that?

Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...

Shang Qinghua: oh my god

Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!

Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*

[evilminji]

Okay, But, >.> Listen...

So MAYBE, just MAYBE, I am an incureable RoFan Isekai nerd. Shut up about it, maybe. What're you a cop? Mind your business. BUT! And hear me out...

W...What would actually? HAPPEN if Danny went into a Visual Novel? Some Otome game? You know, aside from being vague flustered by and then DEEPLY ALARMED by these walking Red Flag Fruitloops that girls are supposed to find "dreamy" or something?

Like we know how MMOs work for him. And probably OTHER open world games? But a visual novel? Would it be like the Christmas Episode? Would he hear narration? Be stuck in static "scenes"? Or would it be like a cut together "only the interesting parts" movie that he's somehow IN?

Like?? At SOME point his curiosity is gonna get the best of him. He's gonna want to know what different video games are LIKE on the inside? What's Pong like? Tetris? Mario? One of those Mama's cooking games? Etc etc.

He probably hits up a game sale. Buys a box or two. Figures he can always resell um or just give them away for free. Might even use them for parts. Who knows. And?

It's kinda cool!

It's even SCIENCE! See? Tucker's in charge of notes. Sam's in charge of hilarious commentary and pizza. Jazz is keeping them from drinking and doing ghost shit (terrible combination, we never speak of What Happened(tm) again). And the Dr's. Fenton got distracted by making fudge and debating what games should be counted towards which categories.

They've made an afternoon of it.

And NOW? They've reached the bottom of box one. It was "Survive The Villainess! My Rose for You!" Or... judging by Sam's climbing eyebrows and growing scowl? A DEEPLY unpleasant porn game about school girls.

You could not PAY him enough.

Yeah, he DOES realistically kinda want to know what happens.. if.. like? You know... sexy games... like would he? Or does he just WATCH or...? *awkward cough* But! That's NOT for Family Science Night! And DEFINITELY not THAT game, THANKS.

He'll find himself an ETHICALLY SOURCED smutty game full of consensual boning. For PRIVATE TIME. Those test results are gonna show up like MAGIC and we WILL NOT be talking about them! Got it? Good.

Now what the fuck is he look at here?

Jazz is surprisingly knowledgeable. They are not allowed to ask. They respect it. The main character "wakes up" inside the body of a "villainess" and must survive. Turn her terrible reputation around. Avoid "death flags". Preferably romance one of the hot guys?

Uuuuuuuh... you realize Danny's in a committed relationship, right?

Sam and Turker allow it. But they reserve the right to blast his taste in Fantasy Guy's. Chose carefully, for their roasting shall be BRUTAL. Luuuuuv yoooou~♡

He wants a divorce. They're not even MARRIED and he wants a divorce. You see how they mock him, Jazz? The cruelty he suffers? He's taking the Blobs and moving to Frightknight's. They always warned him about you living folks and your fast ways, but he didn't listen! *continued dramatics* *is smacked with a pillow*

But actually going IN? The weirdly, vaguely European over the top EVERYTHING? Giant jewels and ridiculous, fancy dresses? The walking red flag Romantic Archtype Leads? He wants to PUNCH half these guys! This is ABUSE! Are people OKAY!?

Like? I feel like he'd stay way, WAY longer then he needed too? Just out of morbid curiosity? W-where is this plot GOING? It's so dramatic. Why is my dress MORE dramatic now? Why is everything so... Sparkly.

It would be? AMAZING and baffling and I would pay real money to hear their live commentary. "Why not simply judo flip the crown prince off the balcony, then take over the country, sweetie?" "Solid plan, honey! He deserves it!" Beautiful. Flawless. Sage advice really. Too bad Danny can barely walk in his five million bows dress.

It's the BEST Au and I might be a genius. Or deeply sleep deprived. Meh. We'll 50/50 it, six of one, half a dozen of another.

@hdgnj @ailithnight @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter

[drenosa]

One rare lazy day in Vacuo

Yang: *Bored out of her skull, reading a "Teen" magazine*

Weiss: *Enjoying her simple healthy breakfast salad*

Ruby: *Enjoying her not-so-healthy breakfast cereal*

Blake: *Catching up on her "literature"*

Yang: *Perks up on reading a topic* "Just how gay are you and your partner? Take this simple test and find out!"

Weiss: Please no, I just want to finish breakfast.

Yang: *Ignoring her, turning to Blake* Wanna take this test with me, Blakey?

Blake: *Closing her book, raising a skeptical eyebrow* You do know we have no need for such a test, right?

Yang: We don't?

Blake: We don't. And I can prove it. *Puts away her book and stands up* Stand up.

Yang: *Already standing, curious* Okay...

Blake: *Walks over, standing close to Yang, their height difference evident as she looks up at the blonde* Now, on your knees.

Yang: *Wide-eyed in shock* Uhm, wha-what?!

Blake: *Touches Yang's jawline* On. Your. Knees.

Yang: *Knees buckle, thudding on the floor* Okay...

Blake: *Now looking down at the blonde, eyes bright in delight and with a wicked grin* And that, my dear girl, that is how gay you are. Understood?

Yang: *In need of clean underwear* Yes, ma'am.

~~~~~~~~~~

Weiss: *In despair as she holds her hands in her head* I just want one, ONE, simple morning without my breakfast being ruined.

Ruby: *Still shoveling her cereal* Meh, I'm over it.

Weiss: Ugh... I should go join JNPER (Jaune, Nora, Oscar, Emerald, Ren). Surely they're... normal compared to whatever these two are doing all day.

Ruby: Probably best if you didn't.

Weiss: Pray tell, why?

Ruby: Oscar, and by extension Ozpin, is mostly busy with Theodore and other high-ranking huntsfolk for whatever business is most pressing but the rest... *Slightly cringes as she weighs whether or not she should tell*

Weiss: Ruby. Tell. Me!

Ruby: *Sighs, shrugs and spills the proverbial beans* They're probably banging right about now.

Weiss: ...

Ruby: Yeah... after our return from the Ever After there was this whole thing where Ren and Nora wanted- Needed more like- to reconnect and reconcile with Jaune. Emerald was just desperate looking for a place to belong. Anyway, long story short, they're likely banging right now.

Weiss: *Thudding her head on the table* My fucking friend group is a Gods damned mess!

Ruby: I'm still traumatized from walking in on them, but you don't hear me complain. Nora's way more flexible than you'd expect.

Weiss: *Whinging into the table surface* UUUUUGH...

[purpdrawsthings]

HIS REFERENCE SHEET IS REAL CHAT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥

Yippee less goooooo, you can now know how the hell this man's outfit finally works now.

You guys can actually make him, with ✨COLORS✨

Honestly, making colors that would match him was really hard. It took me about a week to actually figure it all out just because of how hard it is and how I wanted it to be close to a star aesthetic.

Buttttt I got it all sorted out and to be honest, the result isn't too bad if I do say so myself.

After finishing the colors, it went all easy thankfully, I didn't really have to think that much about his Mario recolor form.

FUN FACT : He came right after the Revelations arc ended =3333333

Relationship chart because yes

Some of the characters uhhh text things are kinda meh cuz my brain ain't braining rn.

Sadge =[

But heyyyyy, at least y'all can now know his relationships yippee =DDDDDDDD

ALSO DO NOT MISTAKE HIS PINK ARROWS AS AFFECTION HE JUST ADMIRES THEM

But I don't really mind if you actually-

Uhhhhhhh deez nutz he can be shipped with anyone, as long as it's not someone he hates, like a certain tv someone =3

So now that that's done.... LET'S HAVE AT IT SOME FUN FACTS!!!!!

He was actually meant to be a silly villain, something like Storms oc, SMG8 =3 buttttt I saved that for later and changed him into a different character.

That human form you're looking at right now ain't even his true form, his true form is that weird star thing!!! Crazyyyy

Speaking about his star form, while in that form, he only speaks in speech bubbles, and is inaudible.

He was meant to be a ✨blondie✨ but after a test I found out it wasn't really the best color so why not use that uh.... Random ass hair color =D

He's got powers to fend off viruses ofc, but I'll do that for a later post, maybe I'll link it from here if I post it =]

Anddddd that's about all =DDDD

I'll probably think of more and probably update this post behind yalls backs lmao

But it'll probably not happen soon.

Anyways, you can now draw him, AND ask question for this man through my ask box, yippeeeeeee =DDDDDDDD

And uhh.... Yeah. Yeetus!!! =3

HAH! YOU REALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS THE END?

Naive people /silly

I actually just wanted to add some special thanks for some people that deserve to be here for a sec =3

@strange0-0storm

The first insp for this man!!! He helped me form GSP the most. I remember that one post he made and I think it was a question thing. I think the question was how did he make 8 or something. Idk I don't remember it much.

But in that post, he stated that he made 8 by making an opposite or something, and that sparked an idea for some reason lmao.

You can see some opposite accessories from him that are opposites of both 4 n' 3. Like the weird ahhhh shaped hat, him having glasses, him actually wearing a suit or something, and him having long, beautiful hair ✨

I uh.... Explained that terribly did I? AHSOSHSOSHISHEISHS THIS IS WHY I DON'T EXPLAIN STUFF RAHHHHHHH

Oopsies I'll get back to the thing =3

Anyways, yeah, as you can see, 8 was a big inspiration for this man, even sparking the idea of making him the same silly lil villain like 8 =3

I thank Storm so much for the huge insp, really helped make him!!!!!

@tiredsmashbros

This man was literally inspired by TSB... GUHH... This man is everywhere I swear....

BUT SERIOUSLY THO TSB WAS ANOTHER HUGE INSPIRATION BESIDES 8!!!!

TSB helped me arrange some of the colors, especially taking some inspiration from the orange and yellow =3

Funny thing but I sometimes accidentally draw GSP with a propeller like TSB on his head because I sometimes mistake him with TSB kshsisuwosossh

The name 'GSP' was also inspired by TSB! Seeing as the name meant TiredSmashBros, I thought if using PurpDrawsThings but when I realized that didn't fit, I just made up random shit lmaooooo

Sooooo yeah! Thank you Tomm for TSB helping me on how to arrange colors and also making his name =3

@its-a-me-mango

Not really seen here but when I said he was supposed to be a blondie and it didn't fit, I suddenly thought of Mango's hair 😭

I was like "Am I really sure I wanna use that"

Then I tested out different hues... Saturations... Andddddd nothing worked 💀 so I was like- "y'know what? Fuck it. I'mma just do it."

Sooooo uh... Yeah! Thank you Mango for helping me make his hair and relationship chart idea lmao 😭😭

Anddddd that's how his hair was born ❤

Also another huge thanks for Mango is insp for the relationship chart! I remember Mango's relationship chart having some text so I decided to do that =]

And that's about all!!!

Like actually fr this time.

These three were just huge inspirations on making him, and I can't thank them enough 😭

THANK YOU 3!!!! LOVE Y'ALL!!!!!

anyways, I'mma go and rest my fingers because I feel like they're actually breaking /silly

YEETUS MY BEANS!!!

[autumnmobile12]

Out of the main trio, Sypha ‘scared’ Dracula the most.  Here’s why:

This shot alone sums up how unaffected Dracula is by Alucard attacking him.

“I beat you once, I’ll beat you again even with your friends.  I was centuries old before you were born.  Don’t test me, you little shit.”

I know there’s the bemused, “You must be the Belmont,” line, but the way he’s standing after he briefly put Trevor out of commission?  Guy’s coughing up blood in front of him and he’s not in a hurry to finish him off.  He just knocked Alucard into the fireplace, and he went after the next intruder.

“A Belmont?  Meh, I’ve been dealing with your family since day one.  This won’t take long.”

But look at his face when Sypha comes at him with the flames.  Go back and listen to the delivery of this line.

Yeah, he says, “Speaker magician!” but what I heard was,  “Oh, she might be a problem.”

[thebibliosphere]

so I’ve always had dermatographia, but since getting Covid for the 4th time this fall, I also am spontaneously breaking out on hives on my back a couple times per week. It doesn’t seem to do much, just kind of itches and then goes away after a half hour. I have no known allergies. Do you think this is indicative of some kind of mast cell issue? I can’t tell if this is an episode of weird body, meh, or a red flag of a huge impending problem.

There was a study released this year about long-covid and how it can result in symptoms similar to MCAS.

Let's see if I can find it... Ah. Here.

So, obviously, we won't know the full ramifications of covid for probably decades, but in the meantime, there is some evidence to suggest that long-covid patients show abnormal mast cell release of excessive cytokine (among other things), which is, well, when it fucks up, it fucks up.

That's what made the cytokine storms patients were experiencing in the early days of covid so dangerous. It's like the immune system equivalent of throwing napalm onto a housefire.

(I also suspect that's why so many front-line doctors now believe in the severity of MCAS. They were watching this shit happen in real-time.)

So, is it possible your recurrent covid infections have led to a bit of mast cell instability and causing spontaneous hives? Speaking anecdotally from the sheer volume of emails people have sent me and the MCAS forums now flooded with people who got covid and can't stop itching, yeah, it's possible.

But it's also possible it won't progress beyond that point.

I'd advise keeping an eye on it and talking to your doctor if you have concerns.

Also, maybe look into getting re-tested for allergies. Allergies can develop at any time in your life, and there could be another explanation for the hives.

Basically, don't panic, but do take care of yourself and watch for any other symptoms. Don't ignore any sudden new food allergies or gastro or cardio symptoms. The sooner MCAS is treated, the easier it is to manage. Mine had decades to run rampant on my body to get to the stage it was at. It doesn't have to be that way for everyone.

Take care, and I hope the hives stop!

[campbenji]

*JWCT SPOILERS* very messy first thoughts

OH BOY here we go

-ben and darius's dynamic was epic. the hug. the roadtrip scenes. "is your friend okay?" "no 😊". ben getting darius out of his isolation cabin and darius grounding him in ep2. the parallels with s3ep7. "you kiss your mother with that mouth?" i'm gonna be thinking about that scene for days. their ship is still a swim to me but please they better keep whatever the fuck they have going on in s2 because it's fucking wonderful

-i love that they took the chance to give more light to duos we didn't see much in jwcc. teamups we didn't often see like ben and sammy, THE B-DUO, and darius and sammy got very special moments here

-the amount of pictures/videos from the six years in between??? the brooklynn flashbacks??? we were so well fed

-BRAND!!!!!! i got so happy when i heard him the first episode, he's clearly been checking on his brother and i'm glad he's ok

-bowman family FEAST. brand and darius talking over the phone. the pictures on the cabin. kenji saying he calls mrs. bowman once a week and all the nice things he said about her. the whole mess between kenji and darius. "we're brothers, right?" i died dead. i love this family your honor

-sammy. she's got so much going on and we desperately need to talk about it. i'm so worried about her, she's desperately trying to avoid confronting what happened with brooklynn, with yaz and her own trauma, and then they casually dropped on us that her family isn't speaking to her and never elaborated on that?? sammy, who's love and care for her family was her biggest motivation in jwcc?? i need to know what happened because it must've been big

-mateo!! i liked him a lot, he definitely doesn't want to get into any of this mess but still dabbles around a bit to help the kids, which i respect. also i hope we get to meet his daughter hiraya, she sounds really cool

-MS MICROBANGS (or the handler, or whatever name we're calling her). what is her deal. who is she working for. she's so uncanny, literally almost robotic i need to know more about her

-brookenji over i cheered. don't take this personally i've never been a fan of this ship and a part of me knew they weren't going to last long

-the animation increased in quality so much. the scene after ben, yaz and sammy get out of the sinking van is so well done it's so pretty to look at. and the t-rex with the explosion behind her? it reminds me so much of toro in the tunnels in s1ep8, and i haven't tested this out but i feel like if you put them one next to the other the improvement would be so noticeable.

-also related to the point above: that thing when a character's eyes start filling up with tears but they don't cry just yet? 10/10. chef's fucking kiss

-sure jwct has the same tv-y7 rating as jwcc, but from minute 1 it's obvious it's not the same audience they're talking to. it's not a big change in tone, like for example adventure time/distant lands/fionna and cake, but it's there, you can tell they know it's not little kids watching anymore

-BUMPY IS HAVING A BABY BUMPY IS A MOM NOW they had me shit scared for her and then they pulled a freaking egg my heart was literally pounding. anyways i hope they get both bumpy and the egg somewhere safe and that they name the new anky "speckles" (i've gotten so attached to that name in the last 24 hours it's insane)

-YASAMMY THE QUEENS THAT YOU ARE. their relationship was stellar this season, i was scared when i saw that they were apart but their issues felt organic to their relationship and i just love how they were written in the show, they are still so in love with each other and i can't wait to see where they go next season. they're everything to me

-yeah they were apart for half the season but. benji crumbs. the egg cradle scene. kenji helping ben after he got hit with the stun gun. basically all they did was act like they knew each other but idc. we are so back.

-the brooklynn reveal was... meh?? it could've been more rewarding if they waited until s2 to reveal she's still alive, but at least i hope they take their time before reuniting her with the rest of the camp fam. also i can't believe ppl even guessed what arm she was going to lose y'all have prophetic powers or smth

-bringing daniel back to kill him the same episode was an insane move btw. i would've normally complained but it's all worth it for causing the panic attack scene in ep7. kenji's reaction felt so genuine, i'm forever in awe at how well this show writes grief and trauma

-i'm so conflicted about darius's confession. i like dinostar, but i feel like it wasn't needed for darius to be in love with brooklynn to explain the voicemails and the way he was dealing with her death. she was one of his closest friends, his grief made sense even with them being platonic. on the other hand, i love how he admitted it to kenji and the fact they didn't turn it into a huge fight between them; also, "i didn't know i could even feel that way" aroace/acespec darius truthers never lose

-maybe it's just that i need to rewatch, but i'm lost as to where they're going next season?? i know they're getting on a boat but where does that go?? what are they trying to do?? there's so much happening my head is spinning

-ben... he kind of felt like the comic relief for most of the show, the first episodes showed him as being really paranoid again and struggling with being alone, but halfway through the season they just sort of forgot about it?? idk something was off

-bring back kenji's old latin spanish va idk who this guy is but that is not kenji i can't do this. i'll survive the loss of ryan potter but i won't survive this

anyways yeah i think those are most of my uncooked thoughts, overall i really liked the season, i can't believe we got to see the kids again this is still so unreal to me

[agapi-kalyptei]

RECOMMEND ME DETECTIVE AND OTHER NARRATIVE HEAVY GAMES PLEASE

(must be available on PC) (ok to reblog)

already played and liked - the more emoji added the more I loved it:

No Case Should Remain Unsolved 😭

PW Ace Attorney trilogy

Ace Attorney Chronicles (mixed feelings about that tho)

Crow Country (rather old school action horror but still good)

PARANORMASIGHT: The Seven Mysteries of Honjo 🤡✨🤬

Doki Doki Literature Club (yeah not a detective) 👧

Disco Elysium, duh 🔫💊🍷

The Painscreek Killings 🔍

A Short Hike 🐦

Paradise Killer 🥂🌈🗿

Slay the Princess

Persona 3 / 4 / 5 🤗🔫🎭

Frogware Sherlock Holmes series

DEATHLOOP 🎡

Dishonored 1 / 2 / 2.5 ♥♠

Thief 1 / 2 / 3 💎

Gloomwood

(splitting into several because Tumblr editor chokes on long lists)

The Case of the Golden Idol 🗿

Oxenfree 1 / 2 👁

Pentiment ✍

Beacon Pines 🌲

Sam & Max games

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective 🔍

Aviary Attorney 🕊

The Darkside Detective: A Fumble in the Dark

Lunark

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog

Perfect Tides 🐠

Tails Noir Preludes

Tails Noir

Unforeseen Incidents 🌲🌲

McPixel 2

BAD END THEATER 😳

We Happy Few 💊💊

Shadows Over Loathing

Outer Wilds ☀🌍🌎

Crowns & Pawns

The Stanley Parable / Ultra Deluxe <25xbucket emoji>

Ministry of Broadcast

Return of the Obra Dinn 🚢🔍⏰

Spiritfarer 😭😭😭

Later Alligator

The Procession to Calvary

Psychonauts 1 / 2 🧠🧠

Subsurface Circular

There Is No Game: Wrong Dimension

Kindergarten 1 / 2 🩸💣🔪

Kentucky Route Zero 🧠😳

Beyond a Steel Sky

Shardlight, Lamplight City and most other WADJET EYE games

The Red Strings Club

The Turing Test

Tangle Tower 💛💛💛

Detective Grimoire 🤎🤎🤎

Paradigm

Firewatch 🔥🔥

The Beginner's Guide

The Sexy Brutale

INSIDE

Her Story

Did Not Like:

Deponia (asshole MC with no character development)

Thimbleweed Park (pseudointellectual "nothing really matters" BS)

Scene Investigators (too much guesswork, annoying exact phrase typing "puzzles")

Nine Noir Lives (a bit too childish)

Tales of the Neon Sea (idk the writing was meh)

Blacksad (good game but a terrible PC port)

VirtuaVerse (same old 90s adventure game tropes and a MC who's an assface and never shows empathy)

Games I have in my library but didn't play yet and yes I know I should:

Va-11 Hall-A

Roadwarden

Supraland series

Carto

To the Moon

Not for Broadcast

Alba

D4

FoxTail

[sfblah]

The Cleanup Crew - Tactical Maid Service

[Next Chapter]

A while back I was waffling on about how I finally wrote something again, and so here it is. I was holding out cuz I wanted to have more of the next chapter(s) finished first, but I figured I should just go ahead and post this before a million years go by. As usual it's a send up of various anime tropes, as well as my inner repressed 16 year old that never stopped playing too many first person shooters.

Female sneezes - Dust

Operation "Hurry"

A spotlight switches on with a sharp kcham, illuminating a circle on the warehouse’s concrete floor. In its center stands a young woman clad in a black and white maid’s uniform, the cloth slightly wrinkled, but hardly noticeable at a distance. She holds her hands together calmly in front of her waist, though only for a moment before she caves to the urge to visor her eyes from the blinding light.

“Alright, last one for today,” grumbles an unseen voice from somewhere up above. After a brief pause, the maid fidgets and points to herself.

“Um, me?” she asks, looking at where she assumes her proctor must be.

“No, behind you.”

The maid turns around, and an incredulous groan immediately follows.

“Yes, you. Jesus, how’d a bucket like you pass selection? Ugh, forget it. Step forward.”

A series of overhead lights activate in sequence, revealing the entrance to the examination course. Still fidgeting, the maid approaches.

“Grab one of the weapons from the table.”

She hadn’t even noticed the table until the proctor pointed it out. Atop the rough wooden surface sits a sawed-off double barrel shotgun, a half-empty box of shells, and absolutely nothing else.

“This is the only one here,” observes the maid.

“You want it or not!?” snaps the voice from on high, startling the trainee half a foot into the air.

“Alright, alright, jeez,” the maid replies, retrieving the weapon. She breaks it open, loads two of her meager collection of shells, and after a brief struggle, slips it into the concealed holster under the back of her skirt.

“Okay, moving right along,” the proctor continues. “Yadda yadda, complete the course as quickly as you can, yadda yadda. By beginning the examination you consent to hrmm meh meh, you waive your right to blah, blah, blah… Look, this is the fiftieth time I’ve read this today. You know what to do, right? Just go through the thing.”

The maid blinks, glancing back and forth between the door and the still-obscured source of the voice.

“Uh. Yeah, totally. For sure.”

A single clap echoes in the rafters.

“Okay, great, great. Start whenever you’re ready. I’m gonna go grab a ham sandwich.”

Footsteps on the catwalk above fade into the distance, leaving the maid to shrug and shake her head.

“Yeah, okay. Rude?” she mumbles to herself, turning to face the entrance to her final test. A plywood facsimile of a foyer is visible through the open door, decorated with a few plastic houseplants. The maid cautiously sticks her head through the threshold, half expecting to be hit in the face by some manner of contraption. To her amazement, nothing happens. Suspiciously so, in fact. She proceeds to creep across the room, eyeing the doors on either side of the far wall, but she slows to a stop when something else catches her attention.

A metal grate is set into the wall. Neither near the ceiling nor the floor, it seems oddly out of place even in the industrial approximation of a manor. Almost as if it isn’t supposed to be there. Looking back over her shoulder, the maid approaches and discovers all but one of the screws meant to hold the grate in place are missing. After one more glance up at the vacant walkways above, she simply swings the grate aside and hauls herself through the opening.

Perhaps a more seasoned operator might have thought to look through the grate at some point before opening it. The unlucky maid assumed she was about to skip ahead in the exam course, but instead she finds herself wedged into a cramped metal duct, arms pinned to her sides and feet kicking uselessly in the air. Before even opening her eyes to take stock of her new surroundings, she stubbornly wiggles herself deeper into the vent.

“Well, this was a stupid idea…”

The test proctor may not have been watching, but the fates were certainly listening. When the maid took a deep breath to gather her strength, she instead succeeded only in filling her big, clumsy nose with dust. Her flailing legs go limp, and the warehouse hangs in silence for a moment before…

“ah-ahh-ahhh-CHOOOO!!!”

The maid’s loud, powerful sneeze did nothing to clear her sinuses. On the contrary, the remaining dust that had settled in the vent was scattered into the air, only exacerbating her need to sneeze again.

“ah-ahh-CHOO!!”

And again.

“haa-CHOO!”

And again…

“ah-ahh… AHH-CHHOOOOOOO!!!”

Her frantic wiggling resumes, adding a chorus of popping and straining sheet metal to the cacophony. Mercifully the duct isn’t especially long, and eventually the maid manages to shimmy and sneeze herself far enough along to free her arms and fully push herself out the other side. She lands upside down in a heap, legs kicking one more time as she gives another “ah-CHOOO!”

The maid rolls herself upright, sitting on the floor of an unexplored part of the test. Instead of reorienting herself, she shakes her head and begins to rub her tickly nose up, down, and all around with the palm of her hand. Finally she cracks one eye open with a thick, wet sniff. The room is dark, but it again appears to be plywood construction with more fake plants.

“Hey, Bucket? Where’d you go?” calls the proctor through a mouthful of food. The maid just manages to register their footsteps approaching from somewhere behind before she folds over with a screamed “HA-CHOOOO!!”

The footsteps quicken to an awkward jog, soon arriving overhead.

“Oh, shit! I didn’t think you’d get this far already. Let me just…”

The room lights up, and the maid has no time at all to absorb her surroundings before cardboard targets burst out of every nook and cranny, and the deafening sounds of recorded gunfire fill the air. If the maid had bothered to stand, imaginary bullets would have already torn her to shreds. Instead she sits in dubious comfort behind a couch, desperately rubbing her nose.

“Intruders! Shoot the targets!” shouts the proctor, scarcely audible over the chaos. The maid fumbles for her shotgun, nearly pulling her skirt down to her ankles before she manages to retrieve it from its holster. Then, barely able to keep her eyes open, she peeks over the back of the couch, points her weapon roughly in the direction of one of the cardboard cutouts, and pulls the trigger.

The recoil sends the maid falling back to the ground, where she remains for a moment as she gasps and heaves forth a strained “ah-ahh-CHHOOO!” She shakily returns to her feet and repeats the process, shooting, falling, and sneezing all over again. This time she doesn’t stand, deciding to reload first. She opens her shotgun and dumps out the two empty shells, then begins to feel around under her skirt for more.

“Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading!” the proctor advises.

“I don’t have a pistol!” shrieks the maid, kicking her feet up and down.

“Shit, uh, sorry…”

Just as the maid finally manages to fumble a shell into one of her shotgun’s barrels, a falling hunk of metal hits her right on the nose. She screams and covers her face, rolling onto her side and unknowingly kicking her shotgun across the floor. What the hell even was this test? If she’d known she was going to be treated like this, she would have just stayed home and stuck to video games.

Her right hand finds the dropped pistol after a few aimless slaps on the floor. Knuckles white on the grip and breathing heavily through clenched teeth, the maid rises to her feet, takes what she assumes is a shooting stance of some kind, and fires wildly at the remaining targets. She continues pulling the trigger even after she expends her last bullet and the pistol’s slide locks back, only coming down from her rage when the simulated gunfire stops.

Somehow, against all odds, each of the cardboard targets have been neatly punctured. Well, maybe not neatly, but good enough. The maid lets her arms fall to her sides, and soon her jaw and eyelids begin to droop in turn. Her head tips back, her large, teardrop-shaped nostrils flare, and…

“AAHHH-CHHHOOOOOOOO!!!”

And she doesn’t stop sneezing for the next… She doesn’t even know how long. Somebody takes her by the shoulders, leads her somewhere, and someone else begins to address her, all while she continues to sneeze.

“Hello, and allow me to congratulate you on passing your final assessment.” This new voice is lower and softer, not that the maid is able to pay any attention.

“ah-CHOO!”

“Your form says your callsign is ‘Bucket’? Is that right?”

“Aaah-CHOOO!!”

“Wonderful. Let me be the first to welcome you to The Cleanup Crew.”

[katerinaaqu]

600 strikes was wild, but I hink Charybdis's treatment was nearly as poor. Everyone assumed when we just had the early song preview that there would be more to it, more struggle, that Odysseus was just hyping himself up in desperation, only to get broken by Charybdis's power, with the rest of the song being presumably just the desperate struggle to survive clinging on the tree branch. But no, it turns out that the song preview really was all there was, and really beating Charybdis was just a snap. It is such a misfire that Charybdis doesn't even get a full song in an encounter that is a pure test of endurance for Odysseus to just barely survive. Instead, it barely fazes him!

I know right!!? This is what I said to the other ask of mine as well as in some other posts of mine but yeah many people disagreed with me but I can't get it out of my head that Charybdis was not some epic face off and a monster fight it was a struggle of a man hanging for dear life from a tree praying to all gods he knew that he would survive and that his raft would come out of te water so he can save himself! I even used that for my retelling from the moment:

I agree it would be amazing if one it was a flashback so it would at least be close to the Odyssey and yes I so agree it should have been him praying and crying while holding the fig tree what we got was like him yelling "bring it on" to a freaking whirlpool and then it was as you brilliantly stated it barely fazes him like "meh another tuesday" like...NO!

As you brilliantly stated it is a moment where Odysseus barely makes it out alive not an epic face-off where Odysseus just stands badass and the whirlpool barely is an inconvenience to his way! Not only was placed completely randomly in the timeline it was also incredibly brushed off!

[highlordofkrypton]

TALK TO ME ABOUT CASSIAN X TAMLIN BROTP PLEASE?

I WAS IN BED WHEN YOU SENT ME THIS I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL I COULD GET TO A COMPUTER AHHHHH I love talking about this himbroship I'm buzzing where do I even start omg omg

This is 10000000% fanon, but it's good, happy, soft and silly!

Cassian and Tamlin met during the First Hybern War; Rhysand was like 'hey ya'll meet my new friend' and like any normal person Cassian was like OH YEAH, TAMLIN'S NOSE MEET MY FOREHEAD

They ended up wrestling bc the broness called to one another, so obviously they had to test each other

It's now a normal greeting for them for Cassian to barrel into Tamlin and tussle with him; Tamlin loves it because it's the relationship he never had with his brothers

Cassian is THE shorter older brother, he's at least 30 years older than Tamlin, but Tamlin is 6'5"+ and Cassian is built like a BAKED BEAN

Tamlin is definitely the more introverted one because he's insecure, but Cassian will double down on ANYTHING Tamlin says or wants. OH UR VEGETARIAN BRO??? BEANS ARE THE SHIT AND GRASS TOO

Cassian doesn't know what exactly vegetarians eat except grass and beans, he tried once and cried he did not like whatever the hell a 'bean patty' is

Having a friend outside of the Night Court is a really fascinating experience to Cassian because even though they both had different upbringings, they have similar... vibes? Tamlin is quiet and curious, Cassian and loud and will put his hands/mouth on anything to figure out what the hell this new thing is. They both had 2 brothers with a MEH dad, warrior training, they punch first and ask questions later, it's just really cool to connect with someone on that level

It's also nice for Cassian to be able to chill w/ someone else and get an outside POV when he's going through something w/ his brothers

Cassian 10000% percent vibes with Tamlin's let's just fuck off and live in nature, it's very peaceful

Tamlin's great great great great great grandmother is a willow tree who has the hots for Cassian, lots of shh shhh and stroking his face with her vines when he's being so dumb

Cassian is seemingly more hot-headed than Tamlin, but Tamlin is the one with rage issues; it actually helps Tamlin a lot to have a friend who will BLURT OUT the first thing that comes to mind especially when confronted with something shitty like 'YO DUDE THAT'S A FUCKED UP THING TO SAY' and 'OK U WANNA GO?? MET ME IN THE PRYTHIAN PARKING LOT 1V1 ME'

Cassian's bluntness also helps drag Tamlin out of depressive slumps. Trauma can really re-wire someone's brain and make you act out, but Cassian also turns his loud honesty on Tamlin like 'FIRST DON'T TALK ABOUT MY BEST FRIEND LIKE THAT' and 'YOU'RE BEING A DICK is this how you feel or is this a reaction my broski' -- his heavy hand is an excellent contrast to Tamlin's other best friend LUCIEN

The humour shared between Tamlin and Cassian makes zero sense to anyone. At all. They will die laughing at a bag of 70% cacao and Cassian will over the 'o' and they've been laughing at 'caca' for the last 10 minutes. It's very freeing for them.

Tamlin loves fruit, Cassian general does not eat fruit or vegetables. Tamlin introduced Cassian to a giant fruit bat and lied to say 'he's very disappointed u don't eat ur greens' and CASSIAN TOOK THAT PERSONALLY??? he eats mangoes now and other tropical fruits to honour his batcestors bat-ancestors???

Yes, they can have an entire conversation in 'bruh's

IF we transpose this friendship that started in the canon 'Tamlin trained with the Illyrians in the war' to TODAY, Cassian never recovered from the falling out between Rhysand and Tamlin. It's really difficult for him to reconcile what happened to HIS family with his friend he knew, loved and trusted. When Rhysand vanished, his first instinct would have been to go see Tamlin for help (but there's a lot of guilt for not checking on him either since Cassian knew Tamlin didn't have.... a support system like him).

In Modern AU, Cassian and Tamlin have DEFINITELY those ugly shirts wit each other's face on them and their names in ✨GLITTER✨

Fuck it, Cassian gets really into shirt printing and just prints shirts for them for every occasion, they're ugly on purpose -- he also has swim shorts that are just Tamlin's face going 8D all over them

Cassian started the 'BIG STRETCHY' trend whenever Tamlin stretches and it's law EVERYONE DOES IT NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE

Anyway, I love them a lot and ummmm I absolutely not normal about them I will DIE on their bestie hill

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK I HOPE U LIKED READING IT AS MUCH AS I LIKED RAMBLING ABOUT IT

[datsleepygirl]

Telling Law You're Pregnant

I swear, everyone on my Insta feed is posting pregnancy announcements, which gave me this idea of telling our babies that they will be expecting one of their own. Here's an official announcement though : I'm back!!

tw: mentions of pregnancy, a large amount of fluff &lt;3

status : not proofread yet

-

we're starting with my favourite doctor, obviously. Just imagine this man with a baby in his hand- 😩

"Well shit." I mentally cursed, pregnancy test in hand. With recent 'events' happening regularly at night, it was just a matter of time that Law will hit the jackpot with me. I glanced at the other 3 tests from different brands I bought just in case. Thank god we were docked during this period of time, which allowed me to slip into pharmacies without the crew noticing after using the 'grocery shopping' card on them. I put a hand on my belly, slowing rubbing it as a small sigh left me.

Am I excited? Of course.

Am I nervous, hell ya.

Me and Law are at a stage where the both of us are stable enough to have a child popping into our lives so suddenly, but how would he feel about it? Is he okay with the idea of having a child so soon? How will he react to the news of a freaking baby coming 10 months later?

I heard the door of our bedroom open for a slight moment, then being shut. I collected the pregnancy tests, shoved them into my pocket and flushed the toilet, pretending nothing had happened.

"Hey, we shouldn't be docking again until 3 months later. You got everything you need?" Law greeted me after I exited the bathroom, hanging his coat and putting his hat on the desk. "I'm good. You done with all your work for the day?" I sat on the bed, looking at him with a hint of uncertainty in my gaze. "Yeah, didn't have much to do besides from a few reports. You okay? You look stressed out." Law took a seat next to me, wrapping his arm around me while planting a kiss to my temple. "Meh, just a bit tired. Can you... lie down with me for a bit?" I requested. Law responded with a smile and shifted us to a lying position. He had one arm under his head with the other one served as my pillow. We both relaxed in each other's presence.

Now's a good time to tell him.

"Hey babe. Have you ever thought about starting a family? Ya know, having a mini you or me running around?" Law chuckled at my question. "With you, the answer is always yes. Remember when I told you that when you ran into my world, I started seeing colours? I started feeling emotions that I've haven't felt in years - love. It's such a beautiful emotion that I wish I could just bottle it up and give it to our child." My heart warmed at the sight of Law's loving smile as he stared at me. I leaned in for a small kiss as I told him to give me his hand. Confused, he complied without asking.

"I'm sure that... this little guy will be happy to hear about that." I put his hand on my belly as I looked back at him with the same loving smile he gave me a moment ago. Law's expression remained as a confused one before it turned into pure shock, causing me to giggle.

"You're...?"

"Yes babe, I'm pregnant." As soon as those words came out of my mouth I was pulled into a tight hug, from the man trembling above me.

"Are you crying?"

"Shut up..."

I laughed with a few of my tears escaping from my eyes as well. "You sure?" Law asked me without breaking the hug. "Yeah, I took like, 4 tests from different brands, just to make sure. I was still shocked. I mean, we used condoms. Not that me being pregnant is a bad thing, though." I said as I showed him the tests I took. Holding them in hand, Law got teary eyed once again. "Condoms only work about 97% of the time, but who gives a fuck about that right now?" he put the tests on the dresser beside our bed as he embraced me again. "I love you so much. Thanks for loving me despite all my flaws and me being all moody in the morning. Thinking about you walking around, carrying our child... it's insane to think that someone as amazing as you is carrying my baby with you..." I smiled as I cupped his cheeks in my hands, "If anything, I'm the lucky one. Thanks for giving me such an amazing gift. I just know that you're gonna be an amazing father. I already have a feeling that if this baby is a girl, she'll be a daddy's girl for sure." Law reached down to rub my belly, that same loving smile returning as he did so.

"If that's the case, then I guess there's gonna be one more person calling me daddy from now on. Not that I'm complaining." I hit him playfully on the arm as he shamelessly smirked as his own joke.

"I'll run some tests on you tomorrow, okay? I don't think I'm in the mood to let go of you anytime soon. I'm gonna have you scooped up in my arms the whole night." I snuggled closer, burying my face in his chest as I answered, "Sounds perfect, my baby daddy."

The soft touches on my belly never stopped. Law spoke to our little angel again as his touches lured me into a peaceful slumber.

"See you in 10 months, our little miracle."

-

okay not gonna lie, I love this :)))) Here's to all you lads out there who waited patiently for new content. I have a whole series of these coming up, so please wait for a bit longer for the rest of our favourite men in line <3

and this ain't a Law fic if I don't tag the OG Law writer in my opinion @sashi-ya thanks for all the encouraging and loving words, I'm so grateful to have met you on this writing journey <3

[transfemzedaph]

idea that definitely hasnt been living in my brain:

joel totally, 100%, does NOT have a massive crush on zedaph. zedaph, who he's heard a lot of things about but, but nothing could've prepared him for how blummin' cute he is, for goodness sake-- what. what? don't look at him like that. it's nothing. shut up.

(hope u like this even if u dont write smth for it DJBDJD)

i fucking loved this ask so much <3. i transed joel & zeds genders. bc im me. also the end is meh & i dont know what grians base looks like and i do not care

-

Of course Joel had heard about Zedaph, how could they not have. There was the rest of ZITS in the life series, Skizz specifically when he found out the both of them were joining, and of course Grians run down of all of the hermits. The basic gist of it was she's weird in a cool way and makes creative and useless but fun machines, which honestly, Joel thought sounded really awesome. Redstone was fine and all but they did tend to think most redstoners were way too serious about the whole thing.

So when Joel was invited over to be the first person to test Zeds newest thing, they were excited!

What none of any of his friends had told them, was how flippin cute she was. And yeah maybe Joel ended up stumbling over their words more than usual whilst hanging out, and yeah maybe they were a little bit distracted from the game? activity? workout? whatever it was, Joel was a bit distracted because they kept watching Zed.

Joel rushes their goodbyes and runs off back home, laying face down on the floor of their newly built home, void they should have put some furniture in already.

Grian wanders over and lets out a little snort at the sight of Joel, who just groans and rolls over, propping themself up a bit,

"This is all your fault."

Grian just stares.

Joel locks eyes with him face scrunching, "You didn't tell me she was cute."

Grian, promptly bursts out laughing.

"Gri, no, this isn't funny. This is serious. And she's gonna think I'm an idiot now and it's all your fault!"

Grian's still laughing.

Joel sits then self up and crosses their arms indignantly, "Are you done?"

Grian's giggling a bit when he replies, "You've got it so bad! For a blonde! Again! You have a type sooo bad."

Joel kicks their leg out towards Grian, grumbling slightly, "Yeah well, you're blonde but you're ugly and I hate you. So there."

Grian sits himself down next to Joel, bumping their shoulder with his own as he does.

"Honestly I bet Zed loved hanging out with you. Don't worry yeah? And at least next time you can compose yourself before you hang out."

Joel leans their head on Grians shoulder.

"Yeah." They sigh, picking at their fingernails, before mumbling "Think 'm just overthinking it cause of being new 'n all that. Just dont wanna make anyone hate me."

Grian scoffs, "No one is going to hate you, and you know Skizz, and probably Tango and Impulse as well, have all talked to Zed about you? Why do you think she invited you to hang out?"

Joel hums.

"To me it seems like she was also trying to impress you too, showing off what she made?"

Joel blushes, halfheartedly giving Grian a little shove, "Shut up."

-

It's a couple of days later when Joel barges into Grians house, "I have an excuse to go visit Zed!"

Grian sighs, "And you had to come and tell me about this? Right now?"

Joel takes in the scene, Mumbo, standing next to a coffee machine, his moustache looking very lackluster, Grian almost curled up on his stool, hands clasped around a mug.

Joel winces, "Uh, what time is it?"

"Too early for this nonsense, shoo." Grian lazily waves one hand in Joels general direction to usher them away.

Joel grumbles to themself as they walk away, "Whatever, Grian doesn't get to know my really cool and awesome plan of going over and saying that we need to beat Impulse and Tangos high score without being a bit cheaty like they were. Which is the best plan ever."

[sonicboomseason3]

Sonic Boom - Theft

NOTE: Here you guys are, a random excerpt from the larger Sonic Boom Season 3 project I've been working on! If people like this one, then I'm down to share more in the future as well (but only occasionally because I don't want to clog up any of the tags). But yeah, I'm not usually someone who's super confident in my writing, but I genuinely did like how this one ended up, and I want to test the waters with this so. lol.

Some context for this: Shadow has a part-time job at Meh Burger. and it's a running bit for Sonic to have a shitty time every time he tries ordering from him, but people who have been on my blog long enough already know about that particular lore. Also, sometime before this, Meh Burger replaced all of their menus with thin slabs of steel with words etched into them due to Reasons. Don't worry about it. Smiles.

--

“Uh…” Sonic faltered when he noticed that Shadow’s expression was visibly stormier than it usually was. “You… okay?”

“Where are my gloves.”

“Come again?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, hedgehog,” Shadow snapped. He pointed an accusatory finger right between Sonic’s eyes, causing him to go cross-eyed. “I haven’t been able to find them since this morning, and so I’ve had no other choice but to wear a backup pair provided by Meh Burger. Where are they.”

It took Sonic another moment to register the words coming out of Shadow’s mouth. Indeed, the latter was wearing the standard white gloves that everyone else wore instead of those weird gauntlet things. Aside from the golden rings clamped around his wrists, Shadow’s whole look was suddenly looking very, very plain.

“I… don’t know?” Sonic slowly replied, pushing Shadow’s finger back towards its owner. “What makes you think I have anything to do with that?”

Shadow scoffed and crossed his arms, clearly not believing him. “Because you are the one who would gain the most out of stealing from me. You want my gloves to enhance your own gear, which will in turn make your battles more efficient.”

“Are you serious, Shadow? I don’t even know where to begin with any of that,” Sonic said, beginning to get annoyed at all the hoops Shadow was jumping through just to blame him for his personal problems. “One, if I really felt like upgrading anything, I would’ve just asked Tails instead of going through all that trouble. Two, I have a perfectly good pair of gloves that I’ve been wearing for years, and I have zero problems with them. No holes, no chafing, no nothin’. I don’t even see what makes your gloves so special.”

“Of course they’re special. They’re the only pair in existence, unlike your inferior ones.”

Sonic’s eye twitched. “Yeah, well, at least mine don’t make me look like I’m wearing a couple of toilet plungers on my hands.”

“What?”

Honestly, Sonic didn’t really think that Shadow’s gloves were that bad, but he had his limits to how much he would take lying down before dishing right back. While he was definitely getting better at the whole ‘ordering Meh Burger when Shadow was on his shift’ thing, there were still times when he lost his patience. This was one of those times.

“Hey, can you exchange insults somewhere else?” Dave, showing up out of nowhere to stand next to Shadow, whined. “I’m sick of doing overtime cleaning up after your fights.”

Sonic supposed he should feel some semblance of gratitude towards Dave for preventing the fistfight that had definitely been about to happen, but he was still too irritated at being falsely accused. “Dave, tell Shadow it makes no sense for me to steal his gloves.”

Dave turned to Shadow with an eyebrow raised. “Your gloves are missing?”

“Since this morning. And if it truly wasn’t Sonic who took them—”

“Dude, for the millionth time, it wasn’t.”

“—then I will hunt down this unknown thief if it’s the last thing I do,” Shadow finished, completely ignoring Sonic. “And they will pay for daring to steal from me.”

“Wow, it’d sure suck to be them then,” Dave yawned, raising a hand to cover his mouth. The other two immediately took notice of the fact that he had on a very familiar red, black, and white gauntlet. “Too bad I don’t know anything.”

Sonic stared at Dave’s hand shielding his yawn, and then stared at his other hand hanging by his side. Sure enough, there was Shadow’s other glove. “Seriously?”

“David,” Shadow ground out through clenched teeth as he reached for one of Meh Burger’s steel menus.

To Dave’s credit, he didn’t even flinch at the realization that he had been found out. Instead, he closed his eyes in acceptance right as Shadow smacked him in the side of the head with the menu, the CLANG resounding throughout the entire restaurant. He fell to the floor, out cold.

“What’s wrong with you, Shadow?” Sonic asked in exasperation. “You’ve been here with him for hours at this point. How in the heck did you not notice until now?”

Shadow didn’t reply, only gazing down at Dave’s unconscious form with open disdain. Something else in the corner of his eye caught his attention, and his scowl deepened. “Sonic,” he snarled, his mood worsening even more. “My air shoes are missing.”

“Come again?”

Shadow, growling like a wild animal and possessing more flexibility than a limp pool noodle, kicked his leg high up in the air and slammed it down on the counter for Sonic to see.

Thankfully, he had socks on, but Sonic still could have gone on with his life without the increased proximity to Shadow’s unshod foot. “Oh my god, dude, don’t—”

“I said my air shoes are missing,” Shadow repeated dangerously, his leg still resting on the counter. The counter where food was supposed to be served. “If you have something to do with this, say so now.”

Sonic threw his hands up in the air. “We’ve already proven I didn’t steal your gloves, so why would I steal your stupid shoes?! And again, how do you go around not noticing this stuff?!”

Shadow opened his mouth say something, but the sound of an evil laugh coming from above cut him off. They both looked up at the sky and saw Eggman hovering in the air… with some newly acquired footwear and not his Eggmobile. Sonic slapped a palm to his forehead as Shadow’s eyes narrowed into slits.

“There you are, Sonic! Behold, my greatest plan yet!” Eggman announced smugly, descending to the ground and striking a pose in front of his foe. He was trying to look cool, but the effect was slightly dimmed by how he was clearly in pain despite all his gusto. Of course he was, given that Shadow’s shoes were a few sizes smaller than his own. “I’ve figured out a way to match your speed, and now I can finally defeat you, thanks to my new roller skates! Don’t even try to stop me—”

“Trust me, I don’t have to,” Sonic sighed, hand running down his face.

“Wait, what?”

“They’re air shoes,”came three menacing words from right behind Eggman. Eggman barely had the chance to realize that Shadow had teleported from his spot at the counter before another CLANG even louder than the last one rang out. Down the street, a few villagers in their homes opened their windows, poking their heads out in confusion.

“This pathetic island is populated by trash and trash only,” Shadow sniffed. He threw the menu off to the side and bent down to take his shoes back. When he couldn’t remove them so easily, he growled again and resorted to yanking on them with so much force that Sonic was surprised that Eggman’s feet didn’t pop off with them. Putting them under one of his arms, he stomped back over to Dave’s body to do the same with his gloves. With all his gear now back in his hands, he glanced over his shoulder at Sonic. “I’m out of here. You can go get your swill elsewhere. Or starve. It makes no difference to me.”

He teleported away to who even knew where, leaving Meh Burger completely unmanned by anyone still lucid.

Sonic stood quietly for a second before looking down at Eggman, who was face down on the floor with his butt in the air, his toes red from being crammed into ill-fitting shoes, and his hands covering the rapidly forming bruise on the back of his head. “You okay, Egghead?”

“Mombot…” Eggman whimpered, dazed. “I want Mombot…”

“Yeah, I dunno how you thought that could’ve ended any other way, to be honest.”