#yeah ASS you can tell which characters I post about and reblog is not a good indication of who is my fav!

[katyspersonal]

Who is your favorite Elden Ring character?

Oh man.. This is a very hard question to answer because I love a LOT of characters for their own reasons, and it is really hard to pick one. You might as well send me this ask again every weak and there's a chance the answer would be different every time, too, because my thought process and personality are not stable either! (don't actually send it every week xD)

In general, I can learn to love every character after peering very deep within their being and discovering their potential (or nurturing it), but some characters still stand out and have been stable enough as favourites! That'd be Melina, Ranni, Goldmask, Sellen, Nepheli, Alberich, Yura, Eleonora, Ensha, Malenia (+Millicent), Godwyn and Vyke! I am sorta waiting on Miquella/Trina for DLC because I just don't know what to expect considering Martin's involvement!

I think Melina is the closest to what I could have as favourite character! My favs are more or less equally loved, but she left an emotional impact on me like no other character had before and that alone made her stand out already! Heck, I tag posts about her as 'wife' from time to time! You see..,

The full archive of EPIC AND VERY QUESTIONABLY SANE CONVERSATION is in this chain ( x ), but basically I've completely missed the point of Shabriri gaslighting us. The fact he was talking about burning Melina completely flew over my head, mostly because I didn't check right dialogues. The point about how there is no reason to fix the broken world and existence itself is a curse, however.....? (God I still fucking LOVE the "it is not my fault you jump into ‘hurr hurr but mass destruction bad’ instead of actually thinking" gem fdjhfhs). So, when my friends kept arguing with me I could not actually hear them!

And yet, everything changed when it was just Melina being sad with her voice even trembling a little bit if I remember correctly, convincing us to not inherit FF before the door to it, when everything clicked for me and I snapped out of it. There was something in her expressing her feelings on importance of life in spite of despair, pain, oppression and constant resistance that felt bigger and more important than any thoughtful conclusions on nature of life and world itself.

It is already very admirable that she makes a conscious choice to sacrifice herself for this world. It is not blindly following the purpose she was given, but she comprehends what she is doing and why, having a chance to live her own life now that Marika is absent but still choosing not to, so others could. There is no guarantee that Tarnished (or anyone) WILL make the future better, no way to tell what happens after she annihilates herself. She is motivated by hope for this world, and her trust. Hope is almost alien emotion for me, so I am impressed by the character that embodies it so much. And of course with the way she can kick ass, and how she asserts herself that her sacrifice is not OUR choice, I thought she was pretty badass.

All that is already hard qualities to compete with as they are, and they got strengthened by, without exaggeration, a bit of personal experience with the character! And then it gets MORE personal because, ironically, such an important character also dies in a unique way in Soulsborne context. Death is rarely a thing in Soulsborne worlds because of souls, planes of reality and timespace shenanigans, but Melina already had no body and thus burnt her soul. This is a complete annihilation without any loophole and backtrack, yet I don't even have the heart to meddle with this even in my imagination because this is what she decided.

[lonely-shine]

Okay, so. I have a very stupid dilemma and I'm about to annoy you all with it because I can.

So, lately I've been thinking of turning Ebis and Marcus, my Submachine OCs, into wholly original characters. That is, divorcing them from the fandom and giving them their own original story/universe. Sounds good enough, right?

Okay, problem: I really love the journey that I already wrote for Ebis and Marcus for the fanfic and would like to preserve it as is as much as possible, which I don't know if I can do without basically plagiarizing Submachine.

Like, I do need to have a bunch of scientists exploring a weird ass, dangerous place that has a lot of weird space-time shenanigans about it. Which means I could simply turn this into a space exploration story and immediately draw some distance from Submachine with the setting... Except I very much do not want to write a space exploration story for these characters.

Nothing wrong about space exploration, but what I'm craving for this is something way more obscure and weird. And I kinda need it to be about a world that is not really (just) a world but (also) a creature. (Oh, the fun I could have with this, I'm telling you).

Thing is, I'm worried about this being/turning too similar to Submachine. Like, the reason I want to (potentially) do this is because I want to do something different and explore stuff in my own way, but I am very aware that Submachine is currently my main source of inspiration, so yeah.

(also, to be completely clear, if I ended up doing this I would probably have, at most, a bunch of character sheets and a few disconnected scenes that I might share publicly, not anything full-fledged that I'd properly publish/commercialize (that requires more energy and focus than I currently have), so I'm not even sure if me stressing so much about this is even necessary, but welp. I'd rather be safe than sorry)

But anyway, let me know your thoughts about this if you have any. Also, I might add more info about the ideas slowly rotating inside my head like they're microwaving there in the reblogs if you're looking for that. (I will definitely add that info because the thoughts kept rotating in the time it took for me to draft this post lmao)

[walkawaytall]

Oh no, I’m participating in Star Wars discourse.

Uh, so there’s a post floating around that I’m not reblogging mainly because it’s just this person’s headcanon and, whatever, people can have headcanons, but the main points they make in the midst of talking about their headcanon that I’ll be addressing are:

Leia and Han getting married and having kids is the most boring thing you can do with Leia

Leia should be a Jedi like every other dang Skywalker because somehow continuing an assumed dynasty isn’t the most boring choice you can make for her

Leia is more cut out to handle lack of attachment than Luke which we know because of her lack of response to Alderaan being destroyed

Leia and Han shouldn’t get married or even be around each other much because Han is a wandering soul and needs to travel and go places

Leia never expresses a desire for marriage or children in the OT, so removing these things won’t contradict George Lucas’ canon

And, look, these are just…missing the point of the character growth that occurs in these two during the OT.

(there's just a whole-ass essay below the cut if anyone cares to read about the many thoughts I have on Leia Organa and Han Solo.)

So, I'm not saying existing or past canon/EU has done it right, but I disagree with the statement that having them marry and live kind of basic lives is the most boring choice. If that's all there was to it, sure, but those two choices by themselves show a monumental amount of character growth for both Leia and Han. (I mean, frankly, I think "Skywalker = Jedi every time no matter what" is a pretty boring choice storytelling wise, but I also think the Jedi on the whole are incredibly boring characters, so, uh...I'm biased.)

Leia was never going to live a quiet life even if Alderaan hadn't been destroyed. Like, she did not have that option, period. She would have either remained in politics or taken over as queen, may or may not have had to marry for political reasons, and may or may not have been involved with the Rebellion. Her life was chaos starting as a teen and she had no reason to believe she wouldn't die living a hectic and chaotic life.

And then she loses everything. This isn't emphasized in the movies obviously because they are fun family romps and not gritty dramas, but, good night, in a single second, she loses every family member, nearly every person she knows, every place she finds most familiar and comfortable, everything and to top it all off, the guilt that it's happened because of her unwillingness to give up the Alliance will probably always be there. She was tortured, they lost lives in battle, and, yeah, they destroy the Death Star, but at the end of that day, literally all she has left is the Alliance and those three pilots who managed to unlock her cell door without too much trouble.

I don't know about you, but I'd be straight-up shut down emotionally at that point. Like, I don't think PTSD even covers what Leia probably has going on in her head. And I think that's kind of what we see in ESB (I know the filmmakers weren’t thinking in terms of PTSD, but there are still hints of it there regardless). She's angry, she's afraid of losing people (she's obviously pissed Han is leaving after he said he'd stay, but also, there's a scene that was cut -- a good move in my opinion because the dialogue is beyond dramatic and Carrie seems out of it, but it stands that this was the intended source of Leia’s frustration -- where Luke is telling Leia he's leaving the Alliance for Dagobah and she is extremely upset that both he and Han are leaving, goes on a whole rant about how she should know better than to trust anyone but herself, etc.), and when she finally lets Han in, she promptly loses him and nearly loses Luke.

And then the events of ROTJ happen and she finds out that the man who tortured her, who stood idly by while her entire planet was destroyed, who tortured the man she loves and handed him off to the space mob to be murdered, who cut off her brother's hand and nearly allowed him to die, who has terrorized the Galaxy in general, that guy is her bio dad. And that guy is the entire reason she's Force-sensitive.

Leia stopping her Jedi training in the new canon was for a dumb reason, I agree there. Leia not wanting anything to do with the thing that, from her point of view, nearly ruined her life and the lives of those she loves about a thousand times over...I dunno, I think that's way more interesting than her just going, "Ope, I'm a Skywalker! You know what that means! Gotta be a Jedi!" And as far as her being more of a natural at it...do we know that Leia is better at healthy non-attachment than Luke? Like, any response to a planet being destroyed could easily just be a trauma response. Is shutting down like that good, actually? Or is it just going to cause problems down the road, Anakin-style?

I don't know, I just think that after living through all of that as well as a freaking war, girly might want a quiet life -- that she gets to choose -- with a husband -- who she gets to choose -- and kids -- who she gets to raise without the threat of the Empire or her nightmare of a biological father looming over their lives. And the very fact that she's able to open herself up to that sort of love and affection when the fear that it might all be ripped away from her is likely ever-present is a big deal. Her having kids knowing they'll likely be Force-sensitive even though that aspect of her biology terrifies her is a big deal. And as far as her not expressing a desire for marriage and kids in the OT...I mean, Leia isn't given the opportunity to express her desire for much in the OT, let's be real (she also never expresses a desire to become a Jedi in the OT either. We can't use what Leia didn't express in the OT to dictate whether she wants or doesn't want something is what I'm saying). They're at war. She's a military leader. She probably can't even hazard wishing for anything beyond waking up the next day. But that's not to say she didn't want such things or grow to want such things once she felt it was safe to do so. We literally don't know, but I don't think the absence of that expressed desire is indicative of anything.

As far as Han goes, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure in every iteration of his story, his itchy feet weren't like...a part of his personality. He had a highly traumatic childhood that left him with few options and ended up living a transient lifestyle out of necessity. He actually seems remarkably easy to keep around if you don't treat him like garbage. I mean, he's given exactly one day of friendship, and he sticks around with the Rebellion for three years before some run-in with a bounty hunter makes him realize he needs to take care of his debt with Jabba. He's not leaving just for funsies or because he's bored or just really needs to be a smuggler again...and he seems legitimately sad have to leave when he's not busy getting pissed at Leia for not having the emotional response he wants her to have (first half of ESB Han is being a big ol' baby and I'm perfectly fine admitting that). And what character growth to see Han "I'm in it for the money" Solo learn to care for his friends, learn to support a cause, learn to love Leia when he's spent so much of his life unattached. Han making boring life choices is indicative of character growth and learning to care about others more than himself. What a lovely thing for this man to learn.

The call for Leia and Han to remain living separate lives but still committed to one another kind of demands that they move backward in character growth in my opinion. We have two people who are in rough places due, by and large, to trauma, who eventually open up to one another and seem better for it and then they...just go back to what they were doing before except they occasionally see each other? Why would they want that? They've grown as people, they've won a dang war, and they're finally able to live somewhat securely. Why wouldn't they want to live basic lives when they were denied the privilege of such choices for so long? And how is them making choices based on their love for another person — love that they had a heck of a time coming to terms with — boring?

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi sophie, thank you so much for that....uh....riveting(?) response. As always you have completely cherry picked something (this whole thing apparently). I gave you a source for the information bias, that I mentioned because I have read your entire blog (has legitimately taken weeks, my god girl gtfo the internet and see some sun!) and other blogs surrounding you and your....uh opinions on this whole endo shit. Also you are wrong, which is ironic because I was meaning to comment if YOU had made it through grade school. I'm actually a psychologist with a specialized degree in dissociative disorders and applied behavioral therapy and currently writing my dissertation on the matter. Identity disturbances among a select few things do have a correlation if not cause of someone developing a lesser dissociative disorder. In my statement about outdated sources, I put in a little note (might have forgotten this because yk I have a life unlike you) that a source can be 100 years old and still he credible AS LONG AS there aren't any current sources/studies that prove the theorem/case study wrong. That was literally the catch. This isn't a gotcha. All you've down is managed to show how much you cherrypick things. I'm not saying ALL of your information is wrong, I'm literally saying that you actively seek out sources/studies whatever to fit whatever niche ridiculous shit you are on that day.

Had to dumb this response down because apparently you don't have the intellect that you portray. Your words are empty, the little backing you do have is untrustworthy because of YOU. You lie so damn much that nobody knows if the 'sources' you give are even true. Nobody has time to look through hundreds of pages of a random ass theory or search relentlessly on Google to find whatever information you painstakingly plugged into the search engine. For the love of God, woman play with your own damn fantasy characters and world but don't make it other people's problem. Like do what YOU want on YOUR time but you literally do not have to post this shit. You spend day after day after day on this godforsaken website. I can smell the dirty dishes and unwashed armpits from here. Get a life that isn't grooming minors into thinking they have a serious dissociative disorder.

Hi! I see you found my post!

I'm gonna need to break this down point by point, aren't I?

As always you have completely cherry picked something (this whole thing apparently).

I literally screenshotted every paragraph you wrote.

How is that cherrypicking?

Are you just using this as a buzzword now? Do you actually understand what this means?

I gave you a source for the information bias

Sorry, I forgot. You sourced something that has absolutely no relevancy and isn't being debated. That statistical biases can exist in research. Good for you, I guess. Congrats on sourcing something that absolutely nobody is disputing.

that I mentioned because I have read your entire blog (has legitimately taken weeks, my god girl gtfo the internet and see some sun!) and other blogs surrounding you and your....uh opinions on this whole endo shit.

My ENTIRE blog?

I mean, yeah, over the course of three years, including reblogs, I've apparently made 11,000 posts

Which averages out to about 10-11 posts per day. I'll admit, that be a bit excessive. (Again though, a huge number of these are reblogs. I'd wager that only about half of these are actually my posts as opposed to posts I'm sharing.)

But if you read all of those posts, which were created over three years, within a span of weeks... I'm really not sure that you've got much of a leg to stand on to tell other people to get off the internet and see some sun. 😛

I'm actually a psychologist with a specialized degree in dissociative disorders and applied behavioral therapy and currently writing my dissertation on the matter.

But apparently found time to spend weeks reading my entire blog, and still think only .edu and .gov sources are valid. Yeah... forgive me for being skeptical...

Identity disturbances among a select few things do have a correlation if not cause of someone developing a lesser dissociative disorder.

Yeah, the correlation part is something we agree on. The "causing someone to develop a dissociative disorder" is something that you're going to need to back up with a source.

In my statement about outdated sources, I put in a little note (might have forgotten this because yk I have a life unlike you) that a source can be 100 years old and still he credible AS LONG AS there aren't any current sources/studies that prove the theorem/case study wrong.

You did NOT include any such note. I would think someone who allegedly read through the 11,000 posts on my blog would be able to reread the paragraph they wrote to confirm if they actually posted this or not. It wouldn't have even taken much more time than you did writing in parentheses that you may have forgot it.

What you actually said was that a source isn't reputable if it's more than a certain number of years old.

"In addition to that, yes a source being x number of years ago is considered not reputable especially if in that time other sources vastly state and give anecdotal evidence to discrediting that."

You ltierally said it was about the number of years.

If you wanted to argue that what makes a source outdated isn't the age of the source in years at all, but whether the source has been disputed by later research, then fine.

We would be in agreement.

But if that's what you want to argue, and I present sources affirming endogenic plurality a real psychological phenomenon, then the burden of proof is on you to provide later sources that would challenge it.

If you cannot, then there is no basis for claiming the source is outdated.

That was literally the catch. This isn't a gotcha. All you've down is managed to show how much you cherrypick things.

Okay, I think I got it! I "cherrypicked" by not reading the note that only existed in your mind. 🤣🙄

I'm not saying ALL of your information is wrong, I'm literally saying that you actively seek out sources/studies whatever to fit whatever niche ridiculous shit you are on that day.

"Your problem is that you seek out studies and sources to back up your arguments. You need to stop doing that."

🤔

Your words are empty, the little backing you do have is untrustworthy because of YOU.

Is that how that works? 😲

I quote a peer reviewed academic paper published by reputable publishers like the American Psychiatric Association and Oxford University Press, and the papers become less trustworthy because I posted them?

You lie so damn much that nobody knows if the 'sources' you give are even true.

Do you actually have examples of me lying, or are we employing circular reasoning?

"She claims to be an endogenic systems which is a lie therefore any sources she provides to prove endogenic systems exist are lies."

Nobody has time to look through hundreds of pages of a random ass theory or search relentlessly on Google to find whatever information you painstakingly plugged into the search engine.

You had time to read through my 11,000 posts?

But not to read any of the articles I've directly linked to? And screenshotted so that people could read the quotes parts without having to click on the external links I provide?

I mean, had you clicked on those, you might have actually learned something, which might have been good for you if you actually are studying psychology.

When you've claimed to read through my entire blog, and yet haven't read the sources I've linked to countless times, it starts to seem like maybe it's not a time issue but an avoidance issue.

That you can cling to your worldview as long as you don't have to challenge it.

I'm going to ignore most of the personal attacks and ad hominems that come after this because they don't really warrant a response. It's just the flailings of someone who knows they've lost on matters of facts, and are desperately flinging insults to see if any touch a nerve. It's sad more than anything.

Except for this one...

Get a life that isn't grooming minors into thinking they have a serious dissociative disorder.

Because I do want to remind people, again, that the "grooming minors" line is rooted in queerphobia, and is the same rhetoric that homophobes and transphobes have targeted LGBTQ people with for decades, and has ramped up considerably over the past few years.

Know where your talking points are coming from!

I'll end by saying this. Your original post was in response to a post of mine about the lengths sysmeds will go to in order to make up reasons to dismiss psychological research into endogenic plurality, and professional opinions that endogenic plurality is real.

You've given me a new one to add to the list which is apparently that sources are invalid just because pro-endos post them.

Call pro-endos liars, then say the sources posted by liars aren't valid because they're liars.

This is both circular reasoning and an ad hominem.

But more than anything, it's closed-minded cowardice. It's you making up any excuses to not challenge or re-evaluate your worldview or opinions.

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #9 (Part 2)

Oh shit!! Is these ducks on the road??? YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS THEY ARE!!! Anyways we're reading Ducks on the Road now which I'm super excited for because it features not one but THREE characters we've barely seen in the book club so far!!

This comic is LONG (I guess it's technically like 5 comics but we're reading them all in one go) so I'll probably end up having to extend this post with a few reblogs! So look out for those.

They're in.... VIRGINIA???? NOOOOOOOOOOO (person with irrational hatred of Virginia cause my whole extended family lives there so I have to travel there every holiday and it just kinda sucks there idk what to tell you. Also if Virginia is for lovers why is it called VIRGINia hm?? riddle me that BATMAN)

SCROOGE PAY YOUR FUCKING WORKERS also I love this outfit and haircut for Daisy she looks so cute here

Does this imply that Donald was living in Virginia beforehand because the implication that I'm only 1 state away from Donald is kind of frightening ngl. also Virginia sucks.

Did they hire Tuskerninni's cousin what's going on here. Actually this is the 70s it could probably BE Tuskerninni in an earlier life

I'm so used to talking about DT17 Gyro within my circles that I see Regular Gyro and it's like oh right!! He actually has joy and whimsy in his heart!! He's actually just a funny invention man who has totally not accidentally committed any atrocities in Tokyolk before!!!! He's also changed his hair color like four times

DON'T EAT THE GARBAGE SANDWICH WHAT ARE YOU DOOIIIIING

can somebody please help him he looks like an anxious chihuahua

How do you even leave piles of money on the floor to be blown away like that HELP I'm so stressed. Dickie get it together girl.

shoutout to these two and their cool accompanying text

HOW IS SHE SUCH A PUBLIC MENACE SHE'S LITERALLY JUST KINDA MID AT PLAYING GUITAR

She kissed him then IMMEDIATELY friendzoned him it was like a speedrun holy shit

Did he just headcanon Dickie and Daisy as lesbians? Because me too.

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT AFTER AN EXAM WHY'D THEY DO HIM LIKE THAT 😭😭😭 nice presentation you LONELY IDIOT.

DICKIE YOU CAN'T PAINT A FUCKIGN RENTAL VAN OH MY GOD

Ah yes my favorite sign on the highway. The big one that just says "WEST"

YOU GUYS I AM SO STRESSED DICKIE IS GONNA GET THEM ALL KILLED IN A HORRIFIC ROAD ACCIDENT. ALSO HOW DID THEY ALREADY GET ALL THE WAY TO OKLAHOMA-

NVM THEY'RE NOT GONNA CRASH THEY'RE GONNA GET SHOT BY THIS GUY FOR HARBORING CRIMINALS

DAISY YOU CAN'T SAY THAT WORD. also i want these two guys dead they were mean to her >:(

GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HER

dork ass nerd and his dork ass math pajamas. and what I assume is a plush of Albert Einstein or something. NERD.

Oh ok so we're just not gonna acknowledge what they do about their tires being gone. Ok. No it's fine I guess that's like irrelevant information they probably just like... found some new tires on the side of the road or something..... yeah....

Anyways this is the part where I briefly end the post so I can attach more reactions with a reblog!

[samaraxmorgan]

yap anon here

ok so I saw your most recent reblog and I must say, you have taste. but allow me to add some salt, or seasoning I don't know how this phrase works.

ok so we know Modern sukuna can transform but like, which is his normal form, cause if this is modern Sukuna would he be "normal" perchance. ALSO ALSO ALSOOOO HERE ME OUT, SUKUNA IS SUPER COCKY AND DOESN'T PAY MUCH ATTENTION TO US UNTIL WE SAVE HIS ASS FROM A CURSE AND SUDDENLY HE RESPECTS US AND THEN WE START TO TRAIN WITH HIM AND HE FINDS OUT ABOUT OUR TECHNINE (personally mine would either be cursed speech or just summoning super powerful and cool animals that I draw, like if I can draw it I can summon it, I'm actually writing a smau thingy with my character) OK BACK TO TOPIC WE TRAINING TOGETHER AND IT'S CHILL, BUT THEN WE GO ON ANOTHER MISSION ALL IS WELL ANDD GOOD RIGHT?

WRONG!!

WE TANKED A HIT FOR ONE OF THE FIRST YEARS WITH US AND SAVED THEM BUT ARE NOW HEAVILY INJURED AND WHO COMES TO OUR RESCUE?

SUKUNAAA

AND NOW THE CURSE IS DEAD AND SUKUNA IS CHECKING US FOR INJURIES AND UHH BAM SMOOCH SMOOCH :DDD

ps. if you haven't you should look up sukuna's dubbed spanish and russian voice, I think u might like it, sincerely the yap anon :D

HI YAP ANON!!!!

This is the post this is about btw!!

OOOHHH wait you raise SUCH a good point with which one being his true form oh my GOD!!! Like imagine we see him at the school and stuff all the time and he’s always in the more normal form, but one day we stop by his dorm and he’s fuckin’ 7ft tall four arms huge as hell just chillin SSKSKS LIKE!! He’s like “it’s exhausting staying in that pathetic small body all the time, I need to stretch my arms.” RAAAAHHHHHH

Okay okay like yeah I’m sure it’s written with the idea that the Heian form isn’t his “real” form BUT that’s such a fun concept that instead of using a ton of cursed energy to get all big and scary, he constantly uses a little bit of cursed energy to make himself blend in better!! Okay back on topic sorry sorry I got excited

I LOVEEE the idea of us being the one saving him from danger like!!! Our pretty princess fr ASKAK no no BUT LIKE!! With cursed speech as an example like imagine there’s some curse that we’re really familiar with but he’s never encountered it before, so we use him and his strength as like a “weapon” against the curse while we tell him what to do with our cursed speech!! Saying to punch it here, kick it there, dodge right like OOOHHH

ALSOOO I love your curse technique idea with being able to summon what you draw!! Him thinking that we’re just some weak sorcerer but then some massive horrifying creature summon that we created. Annnd I like the idea that maybe as we get closer with him we start drawing creatures that coincidently kind of resemble his Heian form n he’s SOOO smug about it!!

And YESSS ugh I love the idea of him coming to check on us after we took a massive hit and he’s SOO mad that we didn’t ask him for help sooner, saying he could’ve taken the hit no problem and that we shouldn’t go wondering off without him again 😵‍💫 INSISTING that he comes with us on all our missions because we’re “such a stubborn little brat” (aka because he’s literally so obsessed EEEEEEE) !!! And he has a little heart to heart saying that he’s not willing to lose us and (as u so perfectly said) BAM smooch smooch SKSKSKSK

And I bet he would be SO protective of us afterwards too, anytime he thinks another student is bothering us he transforms in an instant and scares the living fuck out of them. Everyone is scared as shit of him and wouldn’t DARE mess with us because they know they would have to deal with Sukuna!! AAAAAAAA

(And with the dub Spanish and Russian voice oh my GOD…. The Spanish one is SO raspy mmdmdmsmamsm….. and don’t even get me started on the Russian dub holy fUCK I need to lay in his bed down)

[hxdrostorms]

@eternalstarlights has sent: 🌸 = my roleplay petpeeve, 🌵 = a disliked canon character in my fandom,💐 = my favorite part about the fandom, 🌿 = my least favorite part about the fandom

Send me a symbol and I will tell you… [Accepting]

🌸 = my roleplay petpeeve

// Bc this has been happening across several blogs, not just here:

Reblog karma: If you have no plans of sending something back, then the least you should do is reblog them, from the source or look elsewhere in the posts' notes to reblog from.

I'm constantly going back in my prompts tag to delete old reblogs. BUT THERE ARE STILL, complete strangers who dig through it and reblog it from me. Like?????????? That has the same effect as a 'fuck you' in my DMs. It's 10x funnier, if it is one of those blogs with a long ass pinned/rules page. And they still had no qualms in doing this shit. It's not quirky, let me tell you that much.

Notice, I'm not complaining about not receiving asks whenever I reblog something. That's not an issue for me (mutuals/rp partners should only send stuff, when they genuinely feel like doing so, without any obligations). All I'm asking is to not make me feel like, I'm just a RP memes archive type of blog, that's only there to provide writing prompts & nothing else. I may not be the most active RPer, but none of my blogs are abandoned.

This has been a long running peeve I've been having to deal with, for YEARS. And it made a resurface as of lately.

🌵 = a disliked canon character in my fandom

// Hades & his spectres/Judges are overrated as fuck IMO LOL I say as a clown, bc I'm a classic golds dweeb fan. Clearly, I'm not in a position to say what is or isn't overrated.

Jokes aside. It may have been a result of the way I tried watching the classic series (by binge watching the entire thing). BUT when I got to the Hades arc, I got SO mad when I realized they brought back those drawn out battles. Like those were my least enjoyed bits of the early parts of the anime and the Sanctuary arc, meanwhile the Poseidon arc didn't have any of that (which is why I rate the Poseidon arc as my favorite one of the anime adaptation. 15 episodes with NO filler??? HELL YEAH.).

You can say I was already pretty burned, and should have slowed down with the final part of the series. But even then, I don't think that would have changed a thing about my general disinterest towards Hades' servants. Visually speaking to me, they are the messiest and most boring looking characters from the classic series (they only ever wear 1 color and look way too much like a toy, than some form of proper armor).

Rhadama.nthys is the biggest bitch in the club, to me he was the most insufferable. "He is the strongest*tm of all judges." *= only when Hades is straight up cheating and the story feels like unnecessarily drag things out. Reminder that Kanon killed him without any cloth equipped, and he went out the way HE chose to. He literally didn't even have to TRY.

My favorite part of the Hades arc was seeing Kanon wipe the floor, with everyone he crossed paths with. This feels 10x more satisfying, after reading the Destiny & Origins extra chapters.

💐 = my favorite part about the fandom

// I truly mean when I say, this is the chillest community I've been in a long time. Case in point: I haven't felt THIS artiscally inspired in YEARS. I've been doing so many works, I'm literally running an event in the main fandom. I've been brimming with inspiration to do so many things, that goes beyond the RPing aspect. And it has improved my general mental health SO much!

I'm forever thankful for getting into Sts LOL

🌿 = my least favorite part about the fandom

// If you exclusively speak English, you will suffer to find anything or anyone else from this fandom. Which isn't a problem for me at all but, I can see how frustrating or sad it must feel like, you can't get into a community due to a language barrier.

And the community itself isn't exactly the friendliest one towards gringos. Which I mean............ You can't blame us for feeling defensive, when literally every other fandom went down to shit, when things became very American-centered.

Not to start the whole Anti vs proship debate. BUT It is a fact that all antis (ppl who want to be cops/have no qualms with harrassing or policing others/etc.) I've come across are an American, who's way too enthralled in their lil bubble they call world. Then they have a breakdown bc as it turns out, the rest of the world isn't AT ALL like them. And there's genuine pushback/retaliation from the community, against these kinds of whiny bitchass mfers LOL.

Obviously, this doesn't mean the fandom is perfect nor it's an Utopia, where there isn't drama at all. BUT when compared to others, it feels a lot tamer in comparison. Unfortunately, it comes at the cost of coming off as a very closed off fandom, that's centered around overseas things for a change.

[inkbagel]

Hey man I don’t mean to be an ass but as an aroace person I find it really weird how you can’t accept that things such as kissing can’t be platonic? It very much can. Have you never seen a parent kiss their kids injured knee so it can heal faster? Regardless it’s still not cool and disrespectful for you to insist someone else’s art HAS to be something because you personally like it. And artist can make whatever they want, regardless on your opinions about it’s not cool to disrespect that. If someone made a post and asked me not to post a photo of spiders under it, I would be an ass for posting spiders under it. It’s not any different here. You’re not entitled to someone art like that. If you don’t agree with them just block and move on.

For the last time anon since I’ve answered this multiple times, my issue is not with kissing. IT IS WITH MAKING OUT SLOPPY STYLE. WITH TONGUE. ON THE MOUTH. NOBODY DOES THAT PLATONICALLY.

I used to identify as aroace! I still identify as greyromantic ace, so yeah I’m aroace too!! Even if I wasn’t, I know very well what platonic affection is, and making out really is not platonic.

I’m not trying to police your relationships. I’m not saying this is problematic. I’m saying. MAKING OUT PLATONICALLY IS KINDA WEIRD. NOT PROBLEMATIC. JUST WEIRD.

ITS EVEN WEIRDER TO MAKE TWO CHARACTERS WHO ARE LITERALLY A CANON SHIP MAKE OUT AND THEN POLICE OTHER PEOPLE AND TELL THEM ITS NOT CANON.

I asked a few friends who I actually trust to be sane (and some are aroace since you’re weaponizing your identity) what they think about platonically kissing on the lips and these are their responses.

I asked some irls too, but I don’t have screenshots bc it’s real life. They all think this is a silly arguement in the first place and I agree with them.

Llorumi is not my favorite ship. I’ve been very clear about this since day one. Tbh my personal headcanons are that they dated for a bit and both ended up realizing they weren’t really attracted to each other. I think Lloyd is aroace and harumi is a lesbian (although I hc Lloyd as genderfluid so that one is less important) HOWEVER the people who viscerally hate them and tell other people it’s a problematic ship and draw them making out before saying it’s not romantic are weird.

I also do block ppl bc believe it or not this is a personal art blog. Go ahead and look at my page and you’ll find zero reblogs where ppl said don’t tag as a ship and I tagged a ship. I’m fully aware I’m allowed to disagree with people which is why I’m complaining HERE instead of sending THEM hate in THEIR reblogs and asks. Not you tho. Thx for the anon hate ask. ❤️

Also anon, it’s really weird of you to tell me to block ppl and move on after sending me an anonymous hate message. You’re being a hypocrite. “Not to be an ass” my ass.

[nereidprinc3ss]

hi! i was wondering if i could ask for some writing advice? (pls feel free to ignore this if you'd like!) so i've posted a couple of fics that have done really well, which i'm super pumped about. but now i'm scared to keep posting bc i don't want my newer fics to flop. idk if this makes sense at all or if you've gone through a similar thing before, but if you have what were ways that you tried to get out of this mindset? thanks in advance and i absolutely love your writing <3

hiiiii so i did go through a similar thing!!!! i will elaborate below

(WARNING ⚠️ most diabolical yapper of all time has access to a keyboard😰😰😰)

ok so my number one thing is that you should be writing because you truly love to do it. i see a lot of people frustrated with lack of likes or comments or reblogs etc and i do understand that but if you’re solely writing for engagement people will be able to tell and you likely won’t find the numbers you want and it won’t be worth it. like yes the big numbers are really nice but (sorry we’re going to talk about me now ik im insufferable) i was writing long ass stories that were never posted and will never see the light of day for years before i ever started posting on tumblr. i write fanfic because i love to write. i adore my silly little bf spencer reid but the actual writing part is the most important aspect to me. i wrote stories before i knew what fanfiction was, i wrote before i watched criminal minds, and i will continue to write after. that said i think the reason that fanfic works well as a medium for me is because im also really truly interested in the character of spencer reid from a writing perspective. like i wanna get all up inside his brain cause he fascinates me, and that leads to me writing him in the hopes of discovering something new about him as a character, not just cause i wanna smash (but i do wanna smash!!) and all of that is basically how i stay out of the numbers mindset

so yeah i will reiterate that the most important part of creating something that feels lasting rather than just a phase or whatever is a love for the art form and not just the desire for engagement!!!! like write for FUN!!!! you do not have to be as pretentious as me btw u can literally just write cause it sounds fun at the moment like u don’t have to have some mission of highfalutin soul quest fulfillment or something to write spencer reid fanfic quite honestly im talking out of my ass rn and this was probably entirely unhelpful BUT i never claimed to be helpful (but i still hope it helped in the slightest omg i just read it back and wtf am i talking abt im sorry ily)

[zeroducks-2]

To give a serious response to your last reblog, I think most people (maybe not the VOCAL majority) like to exclude tags they don't want to see, and then if something is tagged incorrectly you do just scroll past or stop reading the fic when something comes up. I know there are people who complain about it like it's the end of the world but yeah it is a common thing among most of my internet people to be like "aw man I didn't know [thing] was gonna be in this fic, I guess I'm gonna go read something else now" and I don't really see any problem with that. (As long as they aren't like harassing the author about it or anything obviously, which again I'm sure some people do and that's not cool)

Fair warning, this was supposed to be a quick response and it turned into a long ass ramble about purity culture and anti behavior, sorry about that. It is a long post so feel free to just skip to the TL:DR.

I agree with you, and as I mentioned I really really like the tagging system and the culture of putting content warnings and trigger warnings over content to help people avoid what they dislike and/or actively harms them. I like it in general, not just on AO3.

For what concerns AO3 I know that most people don't cause any kind of issue about it. I too had a situation where an anonymous guest commented to ask me to tag something in my fic. I hadn't thought about it because it was kind of just a vague mention but to them it seemed to be a big deal, so I apologized and added the tag (and they were really nice and polite about it anyway) and that was it. I don't mind people asking me to tag stuff. As an author I'm not omniscient and I don't have a team or even just an advisor to give a second opinion on my stuff, and tell me what I might have missed in the tags. So by all means do say it if you prefer this or that tag being added to my stories. I might have come off as someone who has issues with the tagging system and the culture around it, and I understand that it might be the case since my reblog was worded a bit harshly. I am sorry about that.

What I really was complaining about is people adopting anti or anti-ish behavior around fanfictions and fanfiction writers, acting like the fact that they come across content they dislike is the poster's fault when they're unable to curate their own online experience, and/or take responsibility as grown adults over the possibility of coming across something they dislike. At the same time holding fanfiction writers to absurd standards when it comes to laying out what their fics contain before someone engages with it, while it would be considered absurd to demand something like this from a novel, a movie, a videogame or anything non-transformative really. And not only there's the exclusion system on AO3 that helps people filter content they don't like, but also I want to highlight the fact that someone who is writing a fanfiction does not owe anyone anything in terms of tagging their stories. Tagging by itself is a form of courtesy that is not mandatory for most kind of content except the so called Archive Warnings, and even then you can avoid tagging anything by simply using "Creator chose not to use warnings" - which I'm sure you know means "this story contains potentially upsetting themes, proceed at your own risk". Most people will just politely ask to add tags, and most people will just tag their stories anyway. I very rarely ever came across a fic which was severely untagged to the point of making me wonder if the OP actually knew tags existed, and how they worked in the first place. I think it happened maybe twice and I've been reading fanfictions since AO3 didn't even exist. But there also are people who will harass the author if they didn't tag their fic "properly", and by properly it often times means that a character mentioned something the reader dislikes, or maybe a character they hate makes a very brief appearance, or there is a random OC created for a specific situation. Or anything that doesn't suit their tastes really, and that they demanded was laid out in front of them so they could avoid the gigantic effort of clicking on a story, read the first chapter and deciding by themselves if they liked it or not. These people are the ones who act like fanfiction writers and content in general should cater explicitly to them. Just check the comments of that post, you'll see an array of folks complaining that "authors do this on purpose!" and that who doesn't tag their fic properly is a terrible person.

There's this one saying that it's "so frustrating" and "really inconsiderate" on the author's part, referring to a fanfiction which has one of the characters genderswapped. Now I really, really dislike genderswap (nothing against it or against who likes it, but it really is not my cup of tea both in fics and in fanarts) and I generally stay away from it. But realistically, how long is it going to take me to realize that a fic has been written with one or more genderswapped characters? A couple of sentences? Maybe an entire paragraph? How "frustrating" is it gonna be to spend something like 3 minutes figuring that this story is not for me, and move on with my life?

It's not frustrating, and it's not inconsiderate on anyone's part. Sure I too would prefer it to be tagged, but it's a Me problem if I can't accept that I might end up seeing something I dislike on the internet, and it's not not a random fanfic author's responsibility to make sure I don't encounter something that makes me turn up my nose.

There is in general a lot of pressure on fanfic authors, in some fandoms more than others, and the whole "you have to absolutely nail the tags" conversation is another layer of said pressure. I know people that won't post longfics because they're unsure about the tags, especially of the fact that tags might change over time, and end up not posting at all. People deleting their entire fics over these kinds of demands because they can't meet them, because they don't know how their fic is going to change from here to the 15th chapter. People having to disable or moderate comments, take hiatuses, abandon fics - sure maybe the comment insinuating they were a bad person for not tagging "there's a random policeman OC in your detective AU" is not the main reason why they abandoned the fic, but it surely did not help.

This also leads to another phenomenon, which is that of over-tagging. Of people tagging rape/noncon "just to be safe", or tagging underage because "this character is 18 but there still is a big age gap", and the likes. That's not how tags work, that's actually how the tagging system gets bloated and becomes useless, because after the 4th fic which is tagged Rape and the rape doesn't happen, what often occurs is that the reader finds another fic tagged Rape and doesn't take it seriously. But in that one case the rape does happen and they get triggered, and it's an awful experience both for the reader and for the writer in case they get harassed over it (and this specific instance happened to me personally, because apparently the Rape warning on my story wasn't enough since the rape actually happened).

It's part of the reason why the Dead Dove: Do Not Eat tag exists and got so popular. If your story has some background/minor/past/mentioned/implied/referenced Thing happening, and you tag it as a Major Thing that happens, people who write stories which actually have Thing as a major topic don't know what to do, and end up using the Dead Dove tag which per se doesn't mean anything, it's just a way to say "MIND THE DAMN TAGS AND DON'T COME AT ME!". No one should feel forced to use the Dead Dove tag by the way. The Archive Warnings and the tagging system in general exist for a reason. If you're reading this and you've been harassed, just block the fuckers and ignore them.

So anyway, while I tend to be really irked by over-taggers especially when I'm looking for a specific kink, I don't really blame them. Purity culture kills artistic expression by making artists afraid of harassment if they post their work, among other things. I prefer an over-tagged fanfiction (or an under-tagged one) over no fanfiction at all.

TL;DR - I agree with you anon, I'm just mad at people who harass authors over tags. I don't think there's anything wrong with politely asking someone to tag their fanfiction, and if they repeatedly don't do it over major stuff that needs to be tagged, just block them and/or report them to the AO3 TOS.

[i-have-never-failed-in-my-life]

inch row suction (long. LONG. incredibly long under that Read More but it has some important bits)

TLDR: i overshare always and i suck and i’m annoying and whiny. expect millions of posts per day. aaahhhhhhhhhhh. this is a vent account where i vent and also just talk about my mental (and occasionally physical) issues. NPD-posting as always until i die sorry

TLDR 2 but not really kind of justt a warning? or something? i don. yeah: also i’ve said this already down there but if you keep up with this account. it will probably will be a huge drain on your mental health. or mood. i don’t know. i can’t stop you from following nor myself from complaining (it’s why i made this account) though, just be careful? block me if needed

TLDR …3.: feel free to follow but you’ll probably want to click on that “Read More” before following though Plank you. (feel free to reblog anything too honestly. heck you can even tag me as “mood” or “me” or your OC or whatever character it makes you think of. even on the long ones that i write while on the verge of doing something awful. it’ll make me feel better honestly. study me if you wanna write a character who’s really annoying and shitty and pathetic just TELL me about them too please please pleaSDFLJBSKDGBHWOUACK ok yeah ok. i’ll get on with it)

extra note from jan 10: for anyone wondering “why on earth did you make this account and put it on your main” i like attention and this also applies when i’m suffering. i want every part of me publicized. i’m immature and young (well. i’m an adult. just barely and still young and stupid) and this will bite me in the ass later i’m sure. thank you

THE TLDR’S ARE LONG TOO I’M NEVER MAKING IT OUT ALIVE

you can reblog anything on here or follow i don’t mind. be warned before following though i do get incredibly spammy and i whine and complain all the time. i’m also incredibly rude at all times and i am deeply awful and annoying. this account is a huge mood dampener

actual START of introduction:

yes this is a vent account hi. i don’t know what to put here honestly. i am very rambly (when it comes to myself) and punctuation is scary. nods. many run on sentences. huge headache to read. expect vent art too maybe who cares. i interact with communities a lot only to talk about myself or something idk. im doing whatever i want

most things will be tagged depending on their content and hidden under a read more (mostly out of embarrassment) (if someone tells me i'm overtagging/putting too many warnings on something i'm going to blast you with hammers i just want to be careful)

also i OVERSHARE!!! a lot! i put EVERYTHING on here. i’ll probably put things here that i feel are Too Much for my main.

just a note because i like putting a huge blaring sign that i have these everywhere to ward people off: i have (covert) Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder (more on this btw. i was diagnosed with ODD as a child and then rediagnosed with Conduct Disorder which lead up to ASPD last year 👍 if you dont know what something i’m talking about is please please please please look it Up) yes i have more but these are the 2 main ones that usually shoo certain people off.

okay before you read further i’m AWARE it’s not a good idea to blatantly list my disorders publicly, but nobody knows me in real life and nobody WILL, and if anyone uses this info against me it’s a very quick and easy way to tell that you’re just being a jerk. so.

before someone tells me i don’t seem like the type (i get this a LOT including from medical staff who read my file) i Am in fact diagnosed <-not to diminish people who self diagnose or anyone who’s questioning they have these. people who do that likely know way more about the disorders than me by the way i know Nothing because i refuse to look into it half the time. i just know that everything sucks always. dont ask me anything. or do. i don’t care. keep in mind i’m just one person and the disorders i have affect people in a range of ways so anything i say only applies to Me and maybe You if you feel like it applies i don’t care thank you ok ? ok

@/people who say “people with NPD and ASPD are cold hearted charmers” you fool you absolute buffoon . i am moist (sweat) and pathetic and everyone hates me and i can’t leave my house on my own volition and i will die if left alone and i will also die alone and i’m mad about it. if you tell me i’m a manipulative charmer i will actually be incredibly flattered. in reality i’m just incredibly UNhealthy to be around and i make people feel like they’re defusing a bomb 24/7 👍👍👍

another . another note. because APPARENTLY some people think that i think of myself as some perfect princess: yes i’m aware i’m not a good person. i’m AWARE that i’ve hurt more people than i have helped and this will never change. and no, honestly, despite what i say or how i seem, i am not trying my best, and i have no intention to change myself for the better. recovery is a beautifully painful path that i believe everyone should take, but it’s just not for me, i’m sorry

last note: I LOVE RAMBLING!!!! ABOUT MYSELF!!!! AND REPEATING USELESS INFORMATION!!!!! slams head into toilet seat cracking both it and my skull

another DSKFHBAODFH i HATE SWEARING note: i have schizophrenia and communication disorders so sometimes shit i say will not make sense. ask me to specify but don't be surprised if the specification makes no sense either

ANOTHER NOTE: like 99% of the vents are caused by the NPD ok. so everything’s just gonna be “nobody loves my WORK WAAAH nobody pays attention WAAAH i’m so MISUNDERSTOOD!!! nobody GETS IT!!!!” ok? ok. okay thanks

questyion and answers:

Q: are you interestedin ?

A: yessssssssssssssssss!!!!!! 🤲🤲🤲🤲

[edit on january 10 2025]

Q: hey girl

A: hi

Q: aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 😭😭😭🤤😭😭😭😭😭😭 ive had enough. ihave had enough. i'm so tired. i'm so tired all the time

A: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh help me HELP me

hi yes if you’re here from main sorry. feel free to follow. sorry again

i believe in a lot of things that are (supposedly) not true and no amount of persuasion can fix this but i do appreciate any comfort even if i fight against or don’t respond to something 🤲 but i must warn you it’s a huge waste of time to reassure me even though i am thankful (well. the reassurance and attention does help and make me feel better but it’s incredibly temporary, and i rely way too much on it [coughs towards NPD] and you might as well be draining yourself for No Reason if you’re seriously gonna spend any amount of time on trying to make me stop feeling like crap)

i also unfortunately send hammers at my own brain every time people try to comfort me honestly because i can’t accept that people actually want to help me when i feel bad instead of like idk killing me with Bricks and hammers forever or Something sorry

obligatory I NEED that blogger NOW i can’t stop TALKING ABOUT THAT BLOG OWNER WITH A DISORDER🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪(did you think you all were free from me mentioning them. no. no you were not. YOU WERE NOT.)

[dragonlights]

I feel as if, sometimes, yes, one Does need to make your own post. However, sometimes, you made a post and discussion was being had and it's not. Offensive or Bad. But then it's considered Wrong or Annoying and it's okay to be kind of disrespectful?

Then again, I feel it's natural to maybe sassy to folks you disagree with, and that sassiness can be rude in a more public context... But, despite having personal posts people can reblog, the Internet Is a more public context, so why are we so okay with acting like we're an authority on what is right and wrong when the topic isn't like... One that has a particular human cost?

Like. It's one thing to be like that on political or sj posts- that's a whole other conversation about calling Out vs. calling In- as there's often a great personal weight to these convos that push folks to great deals of stress when something They see as obvious is disagreed with by someone else.

But when the conversation is about Fandom or Characters or idk, the symbolism of robots in media, idk- and someone 'misses the point' or disagrees with op's premise, sometimes In a way that op was discussing to begin with! instead of disagreeing on the merits of the argument itself, or Not Engaging, or even saying 'yeah no this is Exactly what I mean but okay'. We end up dismissing them in a ruder way than we might do irl. And again, it's The Internet, and is a weird cross between public and private- which is where I think some of this comes from tbh.

Like. It's one thing to post a disagreement to a post referencing a character more generally, another to post disdain for the characters in what is essentially the "loving this character fanclub"

But, also, is it a fanclub, or a forum, or your bedroom covered in stickers? And I really do feel like, to some extent, it's all of them at once. People's individual blogs are their bedrooms, full of thoughts and ideas and interests- but it's also public. Public-public! But there are ALSO circles where it's like "you came into the monsterfucker room and are surprised we wanna fuck scary shit? Lol, get out", but is it like a club in a classroom in a school or is it like a gathering in a park with posters and signs hung up?

Like, to some extent, I feel posts on the Internet can really blend those concepts. Some posts are a poster board inviting discussion, and others a clubroom, and others still a poster board inviting discussion but it's in a club room/someone's bedroom.

And I think, sometimes, people react to public-poster board posts as if they're bedroom posts- when it's like, no, this was on main Street friend.

Like. Sometimes people are standing in front of your nicely hung poster having a discussion you disagree with, and you walking up to them and sassing them for their opinion is kinda rude and shitty! You could have rolled your eyes or complained in private!

That said, sometimes someone really did walk into your bedroom and start critiquing the curtains and decor- at which point there's no Need to engage them in their arguments, they're in your bedroom, laughing at them and telling them to GTFO isn't rude it's Justified Rudeness which can also be called standing up for oneself.

But the other side of that is again. Internet! We want this all to be in our bedrooms but our bedrooms have big ass glass windows that display is and our bullshit on main Street.

So yeah! Folks are gonna comment and sometimes you need to step back and remind yourself this is On Main Street. Then again, sometimes other folks need to stop and be like "am I putting in my two cents about something in someone's bedroom"

I think there's definitely room for discussion here, and I think there's a lot of grey area, I just think on the Internet everyone is more ready to act like their posts are bedroom/clubroom posts and other people's are Public On Main Billboards.

And sometimes you put out a billboard or poster and someone took it (or, a copy) into their bedroom to discuss it, and yes you can see it because it's the Internet but they're discussing it in their bedroom, you don't have to be Like That!

But also sometimes you grabbed a poster off the wall and took it to your bedroom and the artist is like "hey can I have that back?"

Tbh, I think it really is a mixed bag where multiple things are true at once. And, maybe, the problem lies with us assuming that our point of view of if something is being co-opted for an audience that we didn't intend, is that no, this is my bedroom so you can't discuss it on main or this is on main you can't just discuss this in your bedroom and have people not respond to you!

But I also feel sometimes we still treat people more rudely than we would otherwise because of it. And that sucks; bedroom, billboard, or what the Internet really is- terrible, Frankenstein'd combination of the two.

In the end, sometimes, I think we should just sometimes be A Little less snarky and rude to each other as a reflex. It. Kind of sucks!

[storiesofsvu]

Heyyy this was the anon that asked for an updated holiday bingo list for this year Just wanted to say thanks! Another update soon would be lovely, but no rush hehe

i-

you're welcome? but bestie... this is not the way...getting messages (esp anonymous asks) like this make me never want to update the list again, i won't lie to you. (also i am like 90% sure i updated it over the break...which was less than a week ago so everyone can calm down)

if you are someone who's been enjoying reading the fics:

-follow the writers, favourite and reblog their fics, go through their masterlists, sign up for their taglists for more content

-search the bingo tag on tumblr and go through everything that's there if you were just hankering for some holiday shit. you could also go through previous years bingos, or other authors bingos they've hosted.

if you're a one of the writers who has written stuff for bingo:

-amazing, thank you for participating, i hope you're having fun and came up with some cool ideas and enjoyed the holiday season over here.

-but please remember: just by hosting a bingo does not mean i am obligated to do *anything* with what is submitted. I do not have to like/reblog/read any of the fics, nor do i have to make a bingo masterlist.

-I don't think me putting together a masterlist brings any higher level of interaction to people's fics, people will read the fandoms/ships/characters that they like under the proper tags through the tumblr search function any old day. Some of them they'll like, some of them they won't, some they'll give a follow, others might not be their cup of tea. if you want more notes, reblog your own work to get it out there again, search out similar fandom/ship/character blogs, follow them, read their work, chat with them in the dm's, etc. or simply post more for that character/ship, once you've got more than a small amount for one character, i find people send in more reqs/give more reblogs/likes/whatever if that makes sense.

-most bingo hosters usually wait until the event is OVER to put together a masterlist. i simply do it as i go so it's less tedious work.

-Now let's touch on that: i chose to host a holiday bingo this year because i KNEW i wasn't going to have the time/mental energy to write much because my actual job was going to be incredibly demanding (and this was when i was the assistant manager, not the FT manager...) so i thought i'd do a bingo to fill the void. i'm pretty sure i've reblogged everything that i've been tagged in except for anything that came in today. I try to reblog them right away, or at least after i've saved the link for the masterlist post. do i read everything i reblog? no. do i have to? no. Especially because some of y'all are writing for fandoms that i'm just not interested in. No problem with that, i still fully support those fandoms on my bingo, but i'm just not in that phase, you still do you and i'll support from outside with a reblog. Also! some of y'all have submitted some LONG fucking ass fics! (kudos to you! i wish i had that much energy lol).

-if you have a fic that isn't on there yet, or i've missed one, or whatever, have patience. Or consider putting together your own masterlist of your own fics. (@baubeautyandthegeek frequently does this for me as they write a fuck ton of fics for bingo, and send it to me at the end and i always greatly appreciate it <3). your own masterlist can also be tagged with everything and that again, will get you seen in those fandom tags a new time if traction is what you're going for.

-you can also always feel free to privately message me if i've missed something, or a title is wrong, or a link isn't working or whatever.

if you're neither of the above:

-i dunno what to tell you, the advice probably still applies

tl;dr: putting together the masterlist is an annoying task that i hate doing and i wasn't even going to make one this year. so....yeah.

shit like this makes me completely discouraged about hosting another bingo.

[arikihalloween]

I've been summoned (mentionned) so here's my rant about it guys !

Based on my observations, there are three things to an AU

ArtStyle, Concept, Narrative

Generally speaking, Style and Narrative are the most important

A concept can only get one so far, and most of the time the concept will heavily rely on the other two

Narrative and Artstyle can work separately, though

A good narrative doesn't always need a good artstyle, and vice versa

What makes an AU popular is based on many variables, such as the og media, the kind of content the fandom gravitates toward, how close the AU is to canon and how well the artists understand the media, how good the style is, how likable the AU characters are made to be, the preexisting audience of the artists, how visible the fun you're having making it is, how much one interacts with the rest of the fandom

One thing to note is that the internet is unfair and judgy

It's unfortunate, but something we gotta work around with

A popular artist can post their AU, and their pre existing audience will immediatly respond to it and help spread it via reblogs and interactions or fanarts

A lesser known artist will have to seek interactions themselves and get their work out there as much as they can

Anyway, one must never forget that the root of an AU is the love for a media and having fun with concepts and art forms, weither it he art, comics, writing, singing, acting, voice acting

There are many ways to make an AU, so better have fun weither your work is seen or not !

The only way for an AU to fail if it's it was *made* to be popular

If you make stuff in hopes of getting popularity, it gets really obvious really fast, and people end up feeling it

The artist will burn themselves out too

TLDR : Popularity is basically a roulette, a game of luck. If u ain't already popular with a strong artstyle, u gotta work a lil harder and interact and put your work out there more for it to gain traction

Do it out of love or people will feel the bad vibes and it'll flop

Don't just throw concepts at a wall in hopes it sticks /j/lh

I want to emphasise that this is all how I view things

Ross's experience is very different from my own, I think we can all agree that Ross's art is awesome and has a vibe that people just like

As a much smaller artist who only ever had one popular AU (wttmv, which is not even mine it's actually Ross's i'm just a loreholder lol) and I can attest that just getting my work out there requires more work, more interacting, drawing fanarts and interactions with other creators, making connections while Ross can just throw a doodle in the void and it just works lmao

My experience is so different, and that's fine

Out of all the variables that make an AU work, often time artstyle and popularity are big factors, and yeah it sucks and it can be so unfair, but that's unfortunately how internet tends to be

I know so many artists that are hella underrated ! So always boost your friends when you can, help them get their work out there ! Share the love and creativity ! Make fanarts and headcanon and silly voice acting for them, and for yourself.

It's also why most big artist and 'popular' AU creators will tell you unanimously one thing about making AUs : Do it for the love of the work. Do what you like. Have fun.

Because that's how they started

The rest was just luck, connections, algorithm, and in no way a formula that'll always work

Trying to be popular will just burn you out

So you better just create for the sake of creating and putting your love for that media out there

And that was my long ass ramble about AU popularity, and I'm not sorry I say things bluntly

There are more than one way to get an AU to be 'popular' and it's such a vast subject because of the various fandoms and community

I'm all open for more thoughts and rambles on the matter, opinions and all

It's like salary, it's worth talking about openly /j

hey Ross, I'm asking every popular au creator this: what makes an au popular? how did dreamcaptor bill first gain popularity? just curious and do you have any tips for the smaller au creators

Ok- this has like been frying my brain, it's kind of hard to give a concrete answer because IT REALLY DEPENDS,

for me, anyway it kind of worked out a little better cuz I have enough of a following? [although not sure how many of those actively tune into me]

so there's that.. not really a wow explanation, ill be honest

other ways is just,

basically you just gotta work on you're concept and execution, if you're able to introduce your au in a eye catching way through story, character design and over all concept

yada yada,

[honestly, my friend ariki has a better in-depth way of explaining this but i'm giving you the summary]

some AUs just get really popular because of it's concept, people gravitate to it because they want to know more

while others are popular because of the artist, the reputation for either the art or storytelling

or you just learn of an artist and how good the art looks that makes the AU eye catching and you gain the interest to see more

It can also not be about the art, just the writing about the AU and how interesting it sounds

and the luck/blessing of the algorithm gods that it blesses your AU to be seen by the masses,

interacting with other AU creators also helps, ig

it's a lil weird for me, ngl- for explainin all of this cuz, I try to focus less on that.. not saying i dont think about it, but im tryna think of it less..?

and just focus on having fun with my aus, because I make AUs because i love the source material and i have ideas for alternate routes and just loud delusional ideas that I want to be real and so i make it

all i can say, is just have fun with your AU and less worry about gaining popularity over it idk??

im not sure if thats a sound advice because other people have different intentions for wanting to create an AU

[copperbadge]

WELL everyone has a lot of feelings about visual imagination. :D 

I went through the reblogs and comments on the two main posts I made about it and I decided not to respond to the reblogs mainly because the tags sometimes addressed me but most of the reblogs were offering personal accounts, which were very interesting to read but I don’t think really needed input from me. The same held true for a lot of the comments, but I found a few I wanted to answer.

I did want to say that I want us to be careful when we talk about visual imagination and visual thinking, or lack thereof -- the word “hallucination” came up occasionally (mainly in terms of “someone else said this” or in terms of self-description, which is a personal prerogative) and hallucination generally implies that you can’t control or discern the reality of what you’re perceiving, plus it carries negative/pejorative implications a lot of the time. I’d like to keep this discussion neutral and also make sure we refrain from stigmatizing hallucination, either, so just be cautious in how you discuss all of this. People shouldn’t feel belittled for the way in which they perceive the world, whatever that perception might be. You guys have actually been really great about this but it’s always good to vocalize those boundaries. 

gallusrostromegalus

If you tell me to picture an apple, i can imagine several apples, with different sizes, weights, textures and colors, and how the internal structure of the fruit develops from the bud like a time-lapse movie. It's wild to me that people CANNOT do this- though hilariously, it affects my writing in that I straight-up don't put descriptions in because my brain auto-generates scenes and appearences for me and I think i kind of assume everyone else's brain does too

Which is especially bananas because I don’t put in descriptions because I don’t see the point, like why would anyone want a bunch of irrelevant words, get to the important words! Two ends of a weird-ass range, I suppose. 

akela-nakamura

I very much see a picture when I'm writing/reading. In fact I sometimes get frustrated when I'm writing because I can't -quite- get the right words to describe what's in my head. It's not like, All of the time but I visualize things often and it usually doesn't get in my way. It's just...there lol

A bunch of people said that often when they write they’re describing the pictures in their head, which does sound incredibly frustrating and tedious at times, as a practice -- trying to get the right word to evoke a mental image does seem much harder than just picking a fun word that indicates the vibe, which is what I do. They’re difficult in different ways but yeah it does sound very annoying. 

taketheshot21

Brains are fascinating. Question, is it the same for voices? Do you 'hear' characters own voices in your head when you read/write or not?

It seems as though some people who don’t get visual do get audio, but I don’t get either. If I want to know how something sounds, I have to say it out loud myself -- often before I publish something I’ll read it out loud to myself to check for flow. Occasionally if I’m writing a scene in the Shivadhverse where I’m not sure of the speech patterns, I’ll go listen to people speaking in Welsh accents on YouTube to fix the accent in my mind for a bit so that I can write it properly, but it needs refreshing every time I do it. 

Like, in Twelve Points there’s a scene where Noah says something surprising to most of the family, and there’s a beat of silence before Michaelis starts to laugh -- and I know exactly how to evoke a sense of his reaction, but I don’t hear any of it in my mind, or see him sitting at the dinner table laughing. I have some sense of how most of the adults sound, but I’m around teenagers so rarely that I don’t really hear Noah’s voice at all -- but writing him as a twentysomething in a later story, I have a much better sense of what his fully-adult voice would sound like. 

byteduchess

I don't get mental IMAGES but I will experience phantom sensations sometimes especially with certain gory/painful descriptions which is. Fun.

This is why I assumed horror was such a popular genre for fiction podcasts, because it’s a “safe” way of experiencing horror stories without having to deal with the visuals or the jumpscares. It’s very perplexing to me now to know that some people absolutely still get the visuals, with horror podcasts. Although I suppose it still offers a higher level of control. 

svollga

People in dreams have faces...

Yeah, that must have sounded kind of creepy, I forget most people who dream in visuals do see faces. I knew that I was a bit unusual for not seeing them in dreams but it’s not like I see blank heads, I just never see anyone from the neck up, or if I do their face is in shadow. 

snazzy-hats-and-adhd

Hrm. Well now I kinda want to go and do a close reading of some of your stuff specifically looking for visual imagery to see if I can quantify an opinion on it, but since I've been following you since before I realized you had actual books published, it's probably a moot point. I hope your potato pancakes were delicious. 💜

They were! I do wonder how my books must read to people with visual imaginations, but comments seem to indicate I’m not bad at it (and thank you to those who said that, it was very reassuring), so my writing to evoke feeling and their reading to inspire seeing/hearing must mesh pretty well. It’s definitely something I’m going to keep in mind going forward, the fact that people will actually see what I describe, but I think also that might be why my fanfic is reasonably popular -- I leave a lot of scope for peoples’ minds to fill in the blanks, which we already want in fandom a lot of the time. 

thebibliosphere

Yeah, I am in the same boat and I get pissed off being told to "describe more things" and I'm like "why? That's just clunky." When I read and write I'm enjoying the formation and rhythm of the words, not the images in my head, because I do not have any. I can't even do it when I focus really hard and do nothing else. It's like a dream I can't reach. According to my psych person that's aphantasia but *shrug*. I've never known any different.

It really is bonkers. I’ve never known any different either, at least that I know of, and I don’t know that I get annoyed with it but I did used to be a bit confused as to why people wanted more description, it just always felt like padding to me. I once got into it with someone about how Sam Vimes is never described fully in the Discworld books, and I was like “Why would you? Pterry gets away with it, I should be able to” (which is rather arrogant of me admittedly) and they were like BECAUSE IT’S REALLY ANNOYING NOT TO HAVE A DESCRIPTION. And now I get why! Poor Sam Vimes was just a blur in their head! 

I don’t want to go into therapy but I’m reaching a point where I’m like “If I wait any longer, no therapist is going to take me” :D

br-nz

This is fascinating to me because i have a very rich visual inner world. I write fic too and i literally see the stories play out in my head, like a movie. It’s how i put myself to sleep at night, i lie there and plot out more scenes.

I mean, I do that too, I just don’t see the scenes visually. I think about situations and interactions, and sometimes I take notes if I come up with a really good turn of phrase, but it’s literally Telling Myself, there’s no showing :D 

delphinidin4

I would love to read your source on ~40% of people don't visualize when they read! I'm really interested in psychology and the imagination.

I actually got the stat reversed so apologies for that, but the research comes from the Wiki on Visual Thinking, so less reading in specific than just cognition in general: 

Research by child development theorist Linda Kreger Silverman suggests that less than 30% of the population strongly uses visual/spatial thinking, another 45% uses both visual/spatial thinking and thinking in the form of words, and 25% thinks exclusively in words.

laurabwrites

This is where the phrase 'in the mind's eye' comes from btw. Lots and lots of people picture things visually in the mind. As with everything there's a range of how detailed the visualizations are/can be. This website might be helpful to you: https://aphantasia.com/vviq/

Oh that test was really interesting and also extremely frustrating to take, lol. :D  

[cjsinkythoughts]

The Conversation

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 7661 (Don’t come at me - you guys asked for it)

Warnings: !FATWS Spoilers!, Cursing, Fluff, Feelings, I Dunno What Else, This One’s Pretty Chill, Except The Ending, But You’ll See When You Get There

A/N: Here it is! I was hesitant about posting it because that means we’re getting closer to the end and I’m such a nostalgic bitch! I’m definitely gonna cry next week when the last episode comes out! Anyways, I’ve got a few things to talk about:

I think this is one of the most important chapters I’ve written and I’m excited to see your reactions to it. It is longer, but you guys asked for that, so you got it! Also, I’m loving the Asks, Comments, and Reblogs. I try to respond to all of them. I have work in a little bit, so I won’t be able to until after, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Ask me anything; about my series, the show, any of the movies, personal stuff, I really don’t care. If you’re not comfortable, that’s totally fine! Every like means so much to me!

I know it’s not the end yet - we’ve got one more episode and a list of One Shots to get through - but there’s a definite feeling of this series coming to an end, and I just want to thank you all for the support and love you’ve been giving it! I’ve really enjoyed writing these characters and this story! It’s very, very special to me and I’m glad I’ve been able to share it with you lovely people!

On that note, be kind to yourselves and others! Thank you again for reading! Excuse any mistakes - this isn’t beta’d! Enjoy and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT! (Sorry for the gifs I just love them so much and he’s so pretty and this part is technically two parts so...you get four!)

“Louisiana.” Bucky hummed, looking around the airport.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not gonna find anything interesting about Louisiana in here, doofus. Let’s call an Uber.”

“An Ooper? What the hell is an Ooper?”

You giggled, shaking your head and grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the luggage carousel. “Uber. It’s like…a taxi service. But there’s an app on your phone to get a driver instead of waiting for one on the street.”

“Oh.” He blinked, tilting his head. “That’s…helpful.”

You laughed again, stopping in front of Carousel 3, where your flight from New York was assigned. You went back to New York to grab a bag with clean clothes and other necessities, along with taking a real shower for once. It was nice to be back in the States, as much as you loved traveling. It’d been a crazy few weeks and you were ready to just relax.

“Do you think there were any problems with Sammy’s present?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nah. Especially considering they know who we are.”

You snickered at his slight grumble. They had had…problems at the other two airports - first the one in Sokovia then JFK in New York - considering Bucky’s entire arm was metal. It’d taken a full hour before they actually let you go, and by that time they had to give you a new plane because yours had left.

“Seriously. Who else has a fucking metal arm and has 1917 listed as their birth year on their Driver’s License?” You giggled again. That was also true. They thought he was messing with them. It wasn’t until you stepped in a few minutes after they asked Bucky to step to the side, seeing Bucky get frustrated, that they realized Bucky wasn’t pulling their legs.

“Well, we’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

He nodded in agreement, watching for your bags, his hand finding yours when he realized how many people there were. “Do you know where he lives? I didn’t even think about it.”

“Yeah, don’t worry. He invited me over once. I declined, but I saved the address.”

“He…invited you over?” Bucky frowned.

You gave him a look. “I’m sure he invited you, too. You just never checked his texts.”

He licked his lips, tilting his head. “Yeah, no, I know, but I mean…why didn’t you go? Weren’t you two just talking about how you wanted to meet his nephews the other day?”

“Yeah, but I had gotten a tip on Wanda at the time and I didn’t want to miss the chance that she was there. He told me it was fine. I still felt really bad. I could tell he was a bit disappointed. I think it was one of the boys’ birthdays. Or something. I don’t remember. Is that bad? Yeah, probably. I really should remember. Maybe I should keep track of birthdays on my calendar or something.”

“Doll.” You looked up to find him giving you a magnificent smile, teeth and all. “You’re rambling.”

“Oh. Am I? Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

He shook his head quickly, squeezing your hand. “Don’t apologize. It’s cute. I’m just not used to you talking so much. You kinda did on the phone sometimes.”

You shrugged, pushing down the heat crawling up your neck at his words. “I rambled a lot to Steve.”

“Oh.”

His face fell, making you scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion, nudging him slightly to grin at him. “It’s nice to have someone to ramble to again, though.” There was that smile again. You were stopped from saying anything more when you noticed some kids pointing and chattering excitedly at a gleaming silver box coming around the corner on the conveyor belt. “There it is.”

He looked over his shoulder, dropping your hand and stepping over to grab it, lifting it effortlessly. You didn’t know what was in it or how heavy it was, but you were sure it felt like a feather to him.

“Alright. Got our bag, sweetheart?” You lifted up the duffle in answer and he jerked his head towards the doors. “Let’s get outta here, then. Call that Booper or whatever.”

“U-B-E-R! Ub-er!” You threw your hands up, following him as he started walking towards the exit. “What’s so hard about it?!”

He just gave you a little smirk over his shoulder.

***************

Bucky kept asking the Uber driver questions about his job. The guy was super nice and patient the whole time, a thick southern accent lacing his answers. Southern hospitality was no joke and apparently had no limit as Bucky asked about his experiences, listening intently and telling him his own stories of taxi drivers in NYC.

When you got to Sam’s sister’s house, Bucky, being Bucky, tipped the driver half of what you paid for the ride, thanking him for his time and energy, before getting out.

“You’re so adorable, you know that?” You teased him as you stepped up the porch stairs and knocked on the door.

He rolled his eyes, a tint of pink dusting across his cheeks. “He was nice.”

You hummed at his defense, the smile never leaving your features. After a moment, Bucky raised his fist to knock again. “Jesus Christ! Don’t fucking knock their door down!” You grabbed his wrist and lowered it.

“Sorry. I forget sometimes.” Bucky informed you absentmindedly,  tilting his head to peek in the window. “I don’t think anyone’s home.”

“They’re probably at the docks, then.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “The docks?”

You nodded, gesturing for him to follow you. “Yeah. They have a boat, remember? He talked about it last week.”

“Oh right. The one he’s trying to convince his sister not to sell.”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. “I’m pretty sure it’s that way. I don’t know how far, but we can call the Uber back-”

Bucky scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Nah. I don’t wanna bother him again. We can walk.”

You gave him an incredulous look. “It’s literally his job to drive people around.”

“Well, yeah, but what if he’s got other people to drive?”

You lifted his metal knuckles to your lips. “Trust me, Buck, I’m sure he’d rather drive you than anyone else.”

“Thank you?”

Swinging your now linked hands, you gave a firm nod, letting him know it was, in fact, a compliment. “You are so very welcome.”

The walk was a lot longer than you thought it was, and you ended up on Bucky’s back after he kept complaining about how you “shouldn’t be walking this long” and you were “injured” and you “needed rest’”. You’re not sure how a shoulder wound affected your ability to walk, but you relented and let him carry you the rest of the way to stop his whining.

“You forget, you did pull your thigh.”

“That was, like, three weeks ago! Yeesh!”

You finally got to the docks, which were bustling with people. Bucky set you down and raised an eyebrow which you shrugged in reply to, before heading over to where you spotted Sam with a few other older men.

“How do we get it off the truck?” You heard Sam ask, pointing to a large boat engine part in the bed of a beaten up truck. Scoffing as Bucky lifted it up without breaking a sweat, you leaned against the truck. Bucky grunted and set it down, looking at Sam.

“You’re welcome.” What a punk. “Just dropping this off.” Bucky lifted the case and set it where the engine was previously, Sam coming to stand on the opposite side of the truck as you. “You can sign for it and I’ll go.” You snorted, shaking your head, making Bucky shove your shoulder - the uninjured one - playfully. “I called in a favor from the Wakandans.”

Sam looked at you curiously. You shrugged and shook your head. “Don’t look at me, Sammy. He wouldn’t tell me what it is. He’s all hushy hushy about it until you say so.”

Before Sam could reply, there was a squeak and hissing over at the boat where steam was coming from a few pipes.

“Sam!” You knew that was Sarah from pictures Sam showed you. You stayed up by the truck, pulling yourself onto the bed while Sam tried fixing the pipe, Bucky butting in to show him how to do it properly.

“Why didn’t you use the metal arm?”

You saw Bucky lift up said metallic limb. “Well…I don’t always think of it immediately. I’m-I’m right handed.” Letting out a laugh, Bucky turned around and scowled teasingly at you. “And what’re you laughing at?!”

“Nothing!”

“Well then get your ass over here!”

You rolled your eyes, hopping down from the truck as Bucky asked if Sam wanted help with the boat. You leaned against a wooden post, grinning when Sam looked at you.

“I don’t have any plans.”

Sam gave a small smile, jerking his head back. “Yeah.”

You jumped down onto the boat to follow him, looking over your shoulder and stopping with an amused eyebrow raised as Bucky introduced himself to Sarah. “I’m Bucky.”

“Ah…Sarah.”

“Sarah.” Bucky repeated her name, before walking towards you, a grin still on his lips.

“Careful, Barnes. That playboy Steve warned me about is coming out.” You nudged him with a smirk, ignoring the feeling of your stomach dropping.

He rolled his eyes, kissing your head as he passed you and Sam to go where Sam was gesturing. “Don’t worry, Y/N. You’re still my doll.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, falling into step besides you and lowering his voice. “Conversation?”

“Hasn’t happened.” You informed him through clenched teeth as he groaned.

Sam gave you a list of chores that needed to be done to clean up the boat, giving you a quick tour and letting you know where all the tools needed where. You set to work immediately.

Sanding down, replacing old parts, cleaning, polishing and painting over the things that didn’t need replacing. They didn’t let you do any heavy lifting because of your stupid shoulder, but you were still able to help.

Sam had turned on some music for you to listen to, so you danced around the boat while cleaning. Turning your head when you felt a pair of eyes on you, you smiled when Bucky snapped his head back down to the wood he was sanding down.

“Gonna dance, Barnes?”

He looked back over, shaking his head. “Nah. I’m good watching you.”

Rolling your eyes, you got back to work, continuing to bop to the music, fully aware that he was watching you now.

A little while later, you were repainting the edges of the boat orange, when you looked over and noticed Bucky playing around with a paint scraper…sitting right on the edge that you had just finished repainting a few minutes ago.

“Buck!”

He looked over, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”

You bit your lip, trying to hold back your mischievous grin. Shaking your head, you waved dismissively. “Never mind!”

He gave you a confused sort of pout, before shrugging and continuing to fidget with the tool. It wasn’t until later when he got up to help Sam tear the metal plating off the edge that it came to light with Sam chuckling and raising an eyebrow.

“Sit in something there, Barnes?”

“What?”

Bucky craned his neck back, eyes widening when he saw the orange paint on his ass, contrasting with his jeans. You let out a cackle and he whipped towards you, pointing at you accusingly, although the small uptick of his lips let you know he wasn’t really mad.

“Y/N!”

“No, no, no!” You laughed, sprinting across the deck, shrieking when he grabbed your waist and spun you around. You gasped when he grabbed a paint brush and painted an orange stripe right down the front of your shirt. “James!”

“Justice, sweetheart.” He breathed in your ear with a chuckle.

You shook your head, wiggling out of his hold. “This is a nice shirt!”

“You should’ve thought about that before.” He smirked, crossing his arms. Your eyes caught sight of Sam behind him, who raised an eyebrow and the bucket of paint he was holding. You nodded with a little giggle, making Bucky’s eyes narrow. “What’s so funny over there, do - holy shit!

You guffawed as orange paint dripped down his head, Sam standing innocently behind him with the now empty bucket behind his back. “Samuel!”

“Oops?”

“I’m gonna kill you!”

“Try me old man!”

“Fuck!

“Doll!”

“Oh my God!”

Paint, orange and white since those were the only cans they had out, flew across the deck, paint brushes being used like fencing swords.

You found out too late that wet paint was a little bit slippery and you slid on a huge puddle, sending you, not onto the ground below, but over the side of the edge into the water. 

“Doll!”

“Cher, you good?!” 

The three of you looked at each other, stunned for a moment, before bursting into fits of laughter and you nodded. “I’m good!”

The boys helped you get back up onto the dock, Sarah appearing with towels she conjured up out of thin air. “Let’s get you into dry clothes. Do you have-?”

“We’ve got some. We got a bag.” You told her with a grin, facing the guys. “You two should clean up some, too. Sammy, you’ve got a little something right there.” You pointed to your cheek, his own having a giant white splotch from his temple to his jaw. “And Buck?” You sniggered, gesturing to the whole of him. “You’ve got a lotta something right there.” 

“Ha. Ha.” He looked down. His top was practically tiger print, drenched in orange with white here and there, and his ass still orange as well. His hair, which had been plastered to his forehead, was starting to dry now, and it only made you laugh some more thinking about what a pain it’d be to get it out. For him, at least.

“God. Can’t even have a relaxing day on the boat with you two.” Sam jested once you finished up and joined him and Bucky, who had just finished dumping out some water buckets. Bucky had changed his shirt and it looked like they tried wiping their faces, but Sam still had small lines of white down his face. “How ‘bout a couple of drinks? Surely you can’t ruin that too.”

“Ruin?” You gasped in mock offence. “Sammy! I just made the day more…interesting.”

Sam chuckled, ruffling Bucky’s hair, which still had orange streaks in it. “Let’s go get some beers.”

************

You chatted for a bit, mainly you and Sam with you asking how Sarah and the boys were while Bucky with your legs in his lap, just listening to you two and sipping at his bottle. You had his hand in your own lap, wiping it down with a rag due to the paint that got on it.

“You’re lucky this is vibranium, you know.” You commented off handedly. “If it was your other one, it’d definitely get stained.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Bucky shot back with a teasing grin.

“Sammy’s.”

Sam spluttered. “Wh-what?! You started it!” You laughed, shaking your head.

Falling into a comfortable silence with just the water and birds chirping as your soundtrack, you downed the rest of your drink, which Bucky took as finished. “Well,” you moved your legs to let him stand up. He leaned forwards to clink his bottle against Sam’s and you stood up and stretched. “Gotta catch our flight tomorrow. Get a hotel room for the night.” Sam gave you a look to which you rolled your eyes at as Bucky set down his bottle and grabbed his jacket. “Crash, you know?”

“So you’re just gonna set me up like that, huh?”

“Well I don’t wanna make it weird for your family.”

“Just stay here.” You laughed as Sam babbled on about how nice the people were here, grabbing the jacket Bucky handed to you. It was getting a bit chilly from the breeze on the water and the sun going down. Plus, that water was cold.

“But don’t flirt with my sister.”

You cackled at Bucky’s face, that turned serious, his head shaking. “No.”

“‘Cause if you do I’ll have Carlos cut you up and feed you to the fish.”

“Can’t hold back the dog, Wilson. It’s been stuck in a kennel too long.”

Bucky turned to you, grabbing your jaw and squishing your cheeks together. “You know what? You need to shush. You’ve been snippy all day.”

You just smiled as innocently as you could with your lips being held by his metal fingers. “You’re too fun to mess with.”

He pecked your nose. “As long as I’m the only one you’re messing with. I’ll be right back.” He let you go and spun around, maneuvering around the boat in a way only a trained assassin could do.

“Oh my God, please! Please just put me out of my fucking misery! You’re killing me, cher.”

“What?” You gaped at him.

“Don’t act innocent!” Sam huffed, giving you a pointed look. “If I have to watch you two make googly eyes at you one more fucking day with neither of you doing anything about it-”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh come on, Sammy-”

“Don’t ‘come on, Sammy’ me! And don’t come at me with that ‘he doesn’t like me back’ bullshit. If you think for a second that boy wouldn’t follow you to the depths of the fucking ocean, you’re blind as a bat, woman.”

You shrugged, pushing up the sleeves of Bucky’s too big jacket. “It just…hasn’t come up.”

He deadpanned, shaking his head and standing up. “That’s it. I’m done. You two are driving me insane. I’m gonna lock you in a room until you have the conversation that needs to be had the next time either of you does something stupid.”

“Yikes. That’s gonna be quick.” At his look, your smile dropped and you nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll…I’ll bring it up later.”

“Tomorrow or nothing.”

“Sam-”

Sam tilted his head, brow creasing. “Is it still Steve? Is that what this is still about? Because he’s gone, and he’s been gone and you need to get over it-”

“No. It’s not…” You sighed. “It clicked the other day. When we were hanging out. Steve left and, yeah, I might always love him, but Bucky…God…I love Bucky, Sam.”

The man grinned proudly. “I’m glad to finally hear you admit it. So what’s the problem?”

“It’s still complicated, right? I mean…he’s his best friend and I’ve never dealt with stuff like this before and-”

Sam’s smile dropped and he groaned again. “Imma head out. I can’t take this. Dumbass and dumberass. I swear to God.” You sniggered a bit as he grumbled, walking towards the ramp to climb off the boat, just as Bucky reappeared.

“Hey-”

“Nope! Not right now, Barnes! I can’t handle it! I can’t!”

Bucky gave you a weird look. “What’d you do?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Nothing.”

“Well, c’mon, doll. Sarah said she’s gonna make gumbo for us, whatever that is.” He held out his hand as you walked over. 

“You’re such a city boy.” You teased lightly, taking his hand and letting him help you pull you onto the dock. You shoved the sleeves of his jackets up again since they slipped from the first time. “Let’s go get some dinner. I’m starving.”

******************

“We have the couch and a mattress we can pull out, I just have to make Sam get it from the attic-”

“That’s alright. The couch is fine.” Bucky waved dismissively while you nodded in agreement.

Sarah raised an eyebrow at you two. “For both of you?”

You blinked, exchanging a look with Bucky, before shrugging and turning back to her. “Yeah.”

“Don’t fight it, Sarah.” Sam peeked out from the hall. “They’ve got a weird relationship.” You stuck your tongue out at the man while Bucky rolled his eyes, dropping your duffle bag by the couch. “How mature, Y/N.” Sam mimicked your action.

“Uhm…okay. Let me set up the couch for you then.”

Once everything was set up, you and Bucky thanking her for dinner - delicious and you’d never seen Bucky smile so much, the boys having kept him highly entertained throughout the meal - and for letting you crash, Sam and Sarah headed to their rooms, the boys already having been tucked in for the night.

“Are you gonna sleep on the floor?” You asked quietly, sitting down on the couch and doing the things for your night routine you didn’t already do in the bathroom.

“I think I’ll be okay.” He sat besides you. “I’ve been doing fine the past week or so.”

You smiled at him. “That’s good. Alright.” You stood up and stretched. “Let me just make sure everything’s in the bag and ready-”

You yelped when his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest, shifting down to lay against the couch’s arm. “Do it in the morning.” He yawned, looking up at you tiredly. “I wanna go to sleep.”

“Then go to sleep, Buck. I’ll be right back.” He shook his head, his hold tightening as he sunk deeper into the couch.

“No. I fall asleep better with you.”

You rolled your eyes but grinned, settling down with your legs between his, your chin resting on his sternum so you could still look at him. He beamed, but you could see the exhaustion settling in, and he grabbed the blanket Sarah left over the back of the couch and draped it across your back, over both of your legs, before his arms crossed snugly under the covers at the small of your back.

“Dinner was nice tonight. I haven’t had a meal cooked like that in ages.” You hummed.

He nodded in agreement. “I think that’s the first time I’ve sat around a table with a family since the 40′s.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Did you like it?”

“Yeah...kinda makes me wish I had my own.”

“Your own what?”

“Family.”

You bit your lip, shyly avoiding his gaze. “You’re my family, Buck.”

A light kiss was pressed to your forehead, his fingers bringing your gaze back to his. “There’s no one else I’d rather have.” The room lapsed into silence again, the clock ticking on the wall, the low sound of crickets outside.

“You have really pretty eyes.” You mumbled, tilting your head slightly as you studied them. They always held so much emotion in them, especially in contrast to when you first met him as Soldat. They matched the water you fell in, and you wouldn’t mind falling over and over into them.

“Yeah, well, you’re just really pretty inside and out, so I think you’ve got me beat, doll.” He whispered back.

“You know who else is pretty? Sarah.”

He nodded with a hum. “That’s true. But I meant what I said. You’ll always be my doll.”

“So you’re not gonna ask her out?”

He gave you a weird look as you traced his sharp jawline absentmindedly. “Nah, sweetheart. It’s just…some harmless flirting. Except on Sam’s part.”

You gave a soft huff of laughter. “Yeah…he’s gonna strangle you. It is nice to see you like that, though. Flirty. Relaxed. Happy.”

“You make me happy, sweetheart.” He hummed, nosing your temple. “The road trip helped. I’m learning everything from you. Maybe not the flirting, but the carefree part.”

You blinked at him, finger stopping for a moment as you thought. “Oh…”

You felt his fingers dance up your spine, making you shiver slightly. “What I would give to know what’s goin’ on inside that pretty lil’ head’a yours, doll.”

“I just think it’s funny you’re learning how to be carefree from me…when I just started learning how to do it myself.”

“Oh yeah?”

You nodded, your finger continuing its path down his jaw. “I think it started with the goats.”

“The goats?”

You nodded again, resting your cheek on his chest, watching your finger move up from his chin. Once you got to the end of his jaw, you lightly scratched his scruff. “In Wakanda. Our goats.” You weren’t looking at him, so you didn’t see the way he physically melted at your words, his eyes going soft, his lips turning up slightly.

“Our goats, huh?”

But your tired brain wasn’t really processing what he said, instead focusing on the features your finger was now tracing - over his lips, up his nose. “You’re pretty too, Buck. Did you know that? Inside and out.”

He craned his neck to kiss your forehead. “Go to sleep, cuddle bug.”

Nodding, you nuzzled into his chest, finger feeling over the bumps and indents on the dog tags resting near your head. You tried going to sleep, but you kept shifting, your mind not shutting off.

“Hey, sleepyhead, I’m trying to, you know, sleep.”

“Sorry.” You apologized meekly. “I just…I dunno. I can’t.”

“Are you comfortable?” He peeked open and eye to look at you questioningly. You nodded. “Is it too hot? We can take the blanket off. I know I’m a walking furnace-”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t know why. I just can’t sleep.”

He licked his lips thoughtfully, before cradling your head and guiding you back down to his chest. “Lay down, sweetheart. Relax.” He stroked your hair, moving his head down to rub circles in your back muscles, pressing down harder when he felt knots. 

You hummed, your eyes closing. “That feels good.”

“Shshsh. Just go to sleep.” His lips pressed against your head once more, lingering a bit longer than they usually do, as you felt yourself drift off. You cuddled his side, throwing a leg over his waist, before nodding off, only barely hearing his words. “Attagirl. There we are.”

******************

“Doll?” You felt a shift underneath you and groaned, your eyes barely cracking open. “Hey, sleepyhead…it’s okay. I’m just gonna slip out from under ya, alright? Gonna go help Sammy with somethin’.”

You raised an eyebrow, letting him move you against the cushions as he sat up on the edge of the couch. “Sammy?”

“Yeah.” He bent over and kissed your cheek. You stretched out your limbs, about to rub your eyes, when he stopped you, kissing the inside of your wrists. “No. Not you, doll. Go back to sleep.” 

“Bu’...’m gonna help.” You slurred out, looking at him with confused, squinty eyes.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s okay. Rest. You can help when you wake up again. Okay?” You mumbled out an “okay”, bringing the covers up to your chin and snuggling deeper into the cushions. “There ya go, cuddle bug. Good girl.” There was another kiss, one to your temple this time, before you slipped back into unconsciousness.

******************

The next time you woke up was because of a clatter in the kitchen. You yawned and sat up, stretching, eyebrows furrowing when you realized Bucky wasn’t with you. It took you a moment to remember your conversation, which you half thought you dreamt.

“Boys!”

“Sorry!”

You chuckled at the shouts, rubbing your eyes. “I am so sorry!” Sarah apologized, looking over at you from the stove. Trying to make the boys breakfast before school. Do you want anything? Eggs? Cereal? Toast?”

“Uh, cereal’s fine.” You stretched out your back again, before throwing back the covers and standing up, a little shakily.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where Sam went, would you?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Uh, I think him and Bucky went to fix something on the boat. I don’t for sure, though.”

Sarah groaned. “He probably went to fix the stupid water pump which doens’t need fixing. Dumbass.”

You chuckled, padding over into the kitchen. “Yeah. I just work with him. I can’t imagine growing up with him.”

“Trust me; some days you want to throw him in a box and send him out to sea. Bowls are in that cupboard.”

You snickered, moving over to grab a bowl from the cupboard she pointed to. “That’s how I feel with Bucky. Sam is less often, but when those two get together…it’s a full zoo.”

She laughed at that, nodding as she got out the milk and a few boxes of cereal for you to choose from, handing you a spoon. “That I believe.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

You started pouring your cereal, watching in slight amusement as she got the boys ready for school. “Bus is here! Get out the door! Bye! Love you! Make sure you take those extra lunches to-!”

“Yeah, mom! We know! Love you too!”

You gave a slight smirk as she huffed, looking around the kitchen at the pans and dishes left out. “Kids, huh?”

She gave you a smile. “Yeah. They’re a handful, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. How about you? Any thoughts of kids?”

“Me?” Your eyes widened, nearly choking on your food. “Oh God no. Not right now, at least. I don’t even have a solid house right now. My life’s too off the walls for that.”

“And Bucky?”

You raised an eyebrow as she leaned on the counter. “Bucky? What about Bucky?”

“Does he want kids?”

“Uh…I dunno.” You shrugged, clearing your throat as you remembered your talk last night. “Kinda makes me wish I had my own.” You quickly pushed his words aside. “He hasn’t told me.”

“Wait, wait. You two…aren’t together then?”

You blinked, your eyes widening again. “Together? Me and Bucky? No…why? Did Sam say something?”

Her expression morphed into one of disbelief, crossing her arms. “Sam didn’t say anything. You guys did. Are you seriously expecting me to believe you aren’t together?”

“We’re not! I mean - he was flirting with you yesterday-”

“Right, okay. Honey, that’s flirting. And it’s harmless. The way he follows you like a puppy and you look at him like he hung the stars? That’s feelings. And that’s a lot more impactful than flirting.”

You frowned in contemplation. It was really that obvious? You were really that blind? This whole time? You knew Sam knew - but you just figured that’s because he’s been there since it started. And Sharon knew for the same reason. But Sarah? The woman you just met the day prior and had barely had a conversation with?

“It’s, uh…” You chewed on your cheek, swirling your cereal around. “It’s complicated.”

Sarah didn’t look impressed. “Do you like him?”

“I’m kinda in love with him-”

She shrugged, not letting you finish your bashful statement. “Then I don’t see what’s complicated about it.”

And that was that. She turned to clean up breakfast, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You thought it was more complicated than that. I mean…you were in love with your best friend. Who left you. With the guy you had feelings for who just so happened to be your best friend/crush’s best friend. And now you were completely in love with your best friend’s best friend, but your best friend still had a piece of your heart.

But…you loved Bucky. And he was here. And Steve was not. And when you put it that way…you guess it wasn’t so complicated after all.

******************

You snickered as you walked up behind Sarah, the woman berating the men for not leaving the water pump along like she asked.

“Hi, Sarah.”

Sam shot Bucky a warning look, who grinned, but you were surprised to see Sarah ignore him, sending you a knowing glance instead, before turning back to Sam. “I told you specifically that the water pump was not the problem, and yet, here you are.”

“Yep, Samuel.”

You chuckled, Bucky shooting you a wink. “Yeah, Samuel.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at you, turning to Sarah. “In our defense, you were supposed to be done long before you woke up.”

You nearly facepalmed at his “defensive” and you were trying so hard to hold back laughing as she told Sam off, sending them away.

“I don’t wanna hear a peep from you.” Sam pointed at you, but that only made your chortles come out, and you didn’t even bother hiding them. “She’s a very mean person.”

“It’s tough love.”

You giggled as they started arguing, slipping an arm around their waists, their arms instinctually coming up to your shoulders.

“Oh my God. A prowess?”

“Yes, Y/N. A prowess.”

“You know, maybe if you someone let me help-”

“Hey, woah! You were tired! I let you sleep! I was being nice!”

“Too late now. I’ll be lucky if Sarah lets me within a hundred feet of it!”

“She got you so good, Sammy!”

“I agree with Buck for once! You’re too snippy right now! And c’mon man! Stop flirting with my sister!”

“It’s my natural charm.”

“Charm? What charm?”

“Ouch, doll! That one hurt!”

****************

“Okay.” You stepped out of the bathroom, walking over to the couch and setting the bag down on it. “I’ve got everything packed. We’ve got a little over an hour until we need to head out which gives you two time to go set something up for Sammy and maybe even a bit or training before we leave.” 

Bucky frowned. “You’re not gonna come out?”

“I will in a bit. I just got a phone call I need to take.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Government call?”

You gave a mocking smile. “Can you guess what they want to talk about? It’s okay. I’ll survive. It’s only a phone call, so I can always hang up. Pretend I didn’t have good service. I do it all the time.”

“I’m sure you do.” Sam chuckled. “In that case, I’m gonna go grab some stuff and get the shield.” As he walked out, he made sure to mouth at you behind Bucky’s back ‘conversation’ making you swallow thickly. You were planning on talking to Bucky anyways, and with Sam’s insistence…

“Okay, so, I was thinking when we get back-”

“Can I talk to you?”

Bucky stopped digging through the bag, blinking at you in surprise at your sudden burst. “Uh…well, we already are, so yes.” He chuckled, straightening and crossing his arms.

“I wanna have the conversation.”

He was left stunned, once again, his mouth opening and closing and his weight shifting form one foot to the other. “Like…that conversation? R-right now? Are you sure?”

You winced at her nervousness. “Sorry, sorry. I know it’s kinda…I just…I need to talk about it. Now.”

“Okay, okay. No, that’s fine. Don’t apologize. I just wasn’t expecting it.” Bucky cleared his throat. “That’s all.”

“Okay…” You breathed with a small nod. You opened your mouth, but Bucky shook his head.

“I hafta say this first; I didn’t mean to hurt you by telling you about Steve. I-I dunno what I thought. That it’d give you closure or something. I dunno. But it hurt you and I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Buck-”

“I was jealous. And guilty. And mad. And upset. I still am. Kinda. I guess. I dunno.” Bucky shook his head, running his hand through his hair and all you could do was gape at him as he started confessing to you. “Remember when we danced? In Madripoor? Doll…I don’t wanna dance ever again if it’s not with you. I fucking love you, Y/N. And not in the way we’ve said it before. I’m in love with you. I have been for-for a while now. I just - you were Steve’s. Steve loved you and you loved Steve and that was that and I was just the broken childhood best friend. But Steve left and he told me to take care of you and I didn’t know what to do with that, because you still love Steve. I think. I dunno. And I didn’t want to break what we have because you’re all I have left of him. You and that stupid shield. You’re my family. My home. I really meant it when I told you that. And that’s why I couldn’t tell you. Because it means too much for me to break what we have because I fell in love with my best friend’s girl. You know?”

He looked at you with pleading eyes, begging you to understand, but your brain was still trying to process what he was telling you.

“Oh God…” He groaned. “And now I just told you everything and you’re looking at me like that wasn’t what you wanted to hear and now I’m thinking this wasn’t the conversation you were thinking it was going to be-”

You were moving across the room before you could stop yourself, pulling him by the teal Henley you knew was comfortable having worn it to bed before when you visited him in New York, and slanting your lips over his.

His breathing hitched and he froze, and for a hot second you thought you made everything worse, but then he was kissing you back and his hands were on your hips and he was pulling you closer and it felt so fucking good you didn’t want to pull back for air.

“Shut up.” You muttered when you finally did pull back, your forehead against his, your eyes clenched shut. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.” You pulled back to look up at him, chests heaving against each other, your eyes prickling. “I’m not good at this. I’m not good at opening up. I only ever was good at it with Steve but Bucky…I’ve been doing it with you. This whole time and I didn’t even realize it until the conversation in the car.”

He reached up to cup your cheeks, wiping away the relieved tears that were falling from the weight you were finally getting off your chest.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. How could I not be? After all that time in Wakanda? I was never Steve’s girl, Bucky. I wanted to be. Dammit, did I wanna be, but I wasn’t. Not really. And he’s gone. But you’re not. And I don’t know why it took me so long to see that. That you’re the one in front of me. You’re the one who held me when I needed it once he left. You’re the one that would listen to my rambles that I’m just realizing was most of our phone calls. You’re not just the broken childhood friend. Don’t ever think that. I don’t pick up the phone at five in the morning after searching for a friend until two for just anyone. Even Steve’s best friend. And I’m such an idiot because I’ve been pushing away my feelings all these years for Steve and then I let them out with you at the wrong time, because I love Steve, Bucky, but I’m not in love with him. Not since I fell in love with you. And I know it doesn’t make sense, but Steve was the first one I cared about and that’s just how I feel and I can try to explain, but-”

His lips crashed onto yours again and you could taste the salty tears that were pouring down your cheeks, but you didn’t care. He was holding you and he was kissing you and it was even more perfect than you thought it’d be.

“You’re adorable when you ramble, but Jesus Christ, shuddup, doll.” He breathed. “Just tell me you love me. Tell me you love me just a fraction of how much I love you.”

You looked up into those ocean eyes, your own shining with earnest affection. “James Buchanan Barnes. I love you.”

“That’s all I need to know.” He murmured against your lips, holding your head against his, still wiping away your tears. It felt like with each one that fell, you felt lighter and lighter. Like they were taking away every fear and anxiety you held within you for the past six months.

“Alright! I was thinking we could just set up in these trees out here - holy shit! Is it done? Did you do it? Did I miss it? Has the conversation been had?”

Bucky chuckled as you giggled. “He has the worst timing.” The last two words were loud enough so Sam could hear, although the man heard the whole sentence. 

“I’m gonna take that as a yes!” Sam cheered. “Halle-fucking-lujah! Finally! I was that close to locking you two in the attic.”

You shook your head at Sam’s personal celebration, drowning the rest of his words out as you looked at Bucky, who swept his thumb over your cheek catching one last tear, before pecking your lips.

“I finally get to kiss where I really want to.” He spoke softly, kissing your lips again. “Are you mine, doll?”

“I thought you said I’d always be your doll.” You answered cheekily. He grinned, kissing you again, pulling you against him by the hips.

“Okay, okay! That’s enough! We get it! You’re in love, finally, but I don’t wanna see it anymore! Now will you come help me with this shit?”

Bucky left one more lingering kiss on your lips, before you pushed him away reluctantly. “I’ll be right out.”

He nodded, moving over to help Sam carry the things he’d gathered.

You watched them put it all up from the window, gnawing on your cheek as you spun your phone in your hands. Coming to a decision, you tossed your phone in the duffle bag and walked out with it just as the boys finished.

“That was a quick phone call.” Sam raised an eyebrow.

You shrugged. “Didn’t call them. If they really need me, they’ll find me.”

Bucky grinned as you set the bag down under a tree, pecking your lips when you got close enough for him to grab by the waist to hold you against him. You rolled your eyes, shoving him playfully away and giggling as Sam let out a groan.

“Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got, Sammy.”

~

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Bucky knew he needed the tough love talk Sam was giving him. He needed to hear it. Because, deep down, he had known it all along, he just refused to believe it. He tried doing it. Making amends. He knew he wasn’t though. And of course he knew immediately who that one person would be.

“And hey.” Bucky looked at him. “Let me tell you what. Telling my girl all that you told her? That’s a good start. I’m proud of you. Both of you. You’re already happier. I can see it in your eyes.”

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head as he thought of the gorgeous woman he nearly let slip through his fingers. He looked over to the house, where she was inside somewhere getting ready after suddenly deciding she needed to shower before they left. “I was stupid.”

“Yeah you were. You both were. I’m so relieved it’s over.” Sam nudged him. “Treat her right, Buck. She deserves it.”

“I know…I just hope I can.”

Sam shook his head. “Uh-uh. Don’t do that. You were just starting to use that cyborg brain of yours! She chose you. And before you say anything,” Sam cut Bucky off from speaking as he opened his mouth to object. “She chose you before Steve left. It just took her dumbass this long to realize it.”

Bucky nodded, a small smile on his face. “Yeah…okay…” Before he could say anything, the goddess herself stepped out, jogging over, looking absolutely amazing in her jeans and his t-shirt. “Good talk.”

Sam laughed at his quick ending of the conversation as she came up besides them. “Talking about me?” She asked cheekily, eyes shining. Bucky couldn’t help but take her under his arm, pecking her lips. Now that he could, he didn’t think he could stop. He was addicted to say the least.

Throwing Bucky a wink, Sam shrugged. “Just all the things that get on our nerves.”

“Ha ha.” She rolled her eyes. “We better get going.”

Bucky and Sam clapped hands. “You know Karli won’t quit.”

Bucky smiled. “Ah. You call us when you have a lead and we’ll be there.”

Y/N stepped forwards to give Sam a hug. “Anytime, Sammy.”

“Eh. Anytime between noon and midnight.” Bucky corrected. “Or noon and ten. Noon and five…you better just call at noon to be safe.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure.”

“Not necessarily as a team.” Bucky continued, grabbing the bag, getting Y/N back in her spot at his side under his arm.

“Nope!”

“We’re not that good.”

“Definitely not.”

“We’re professionals.”

“Definitely.”

“And, uh, we’re partners.”

Sam snapped, pointing at him. “Coworkers.”

“But we’re also a couple of guys with a couple mutual friends.”

“Ones now gone and you’re dating the other.”

“So we’re a couple of guys…with a badass to help out.”

“I can live with that.”

“Perfect.”

“Oh my God.” Y/N let out that laugh Bucky could never get enough of, shaking her head at the two of them. “You forgot dumbasses.”

Sam shook his head. “Nuh-uh. That’s your couple name.”

“Dumbasses?”

“Oh yeah.” The three of them came to a stop, Bucky and his girl - God he loved confirming it now - facing Sam. “Thanks for the help, guys. Meant a lot.”

Bucky patted his shoulder. “Of course.”

Y/N shot him a wink. “Until we meet again, Sammy.”

“Until then, cher.”

Bucky couldn’t stop his grin as she wrapped her arms around his waist, the two of them starting to walk to the main road where she already ordered an Uber. He looked down at her, kissing her lips for the nth time in the past hour.

“I wish I didn’t wait so long,” he told her seriously. “But I’d wait a thousands more centuries if it meant I get to call you mine.”

She giggled, shaking her head. “You’re such a sap! But…” she moved up to kiss him and his heart stuttered. He knew he had a goofy grin on when she pulled back, but he couldn’t help it. Especially when she laughed again. “I have to agree with you on that, Buckaroo.”