#yea the cost of the game goes up but. i mean yea?? of course?? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

peachyysugaa · 3 years ago

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enhypen members on a café date ☕️♡ requested by anon

– heeseung

what kind of café he takes you to: his local favorite, it's on the cozier or quieter size, which gives him the privacy to spend quality time with you~

the menu: now serving your favorite coffees, teas, and sandwiches! from iced americanos to milk teas (bubbles/boba if you want) to paninis, this café has got all the regulars. what would you like to order? ♥

activities you do: while the two of you should probably go to a gaming café for this, you and heeseung always sit in a more private booth/area side-by-side and play multiplayer games on his switch. if you're not gaming, the two of you casually talk about your days while sipping your drinks, resting your head on his shoulder or working on your respective things, schoolwork maybe for you or producing for heeseung.

short blurb: "heeseung, you let me win." "no, you're just really good at this game, love." (˶◡‿◡) you just laugh and roll your eyes, pinching his cheeks before resting your head on his shoulder in the middle of your favorite booth, in your favorite café that was filled with precious memories.

rest of the members under the cut! <3

what kind of café he takes you to: either the most expensive café ever or the most aesthetic (which tends to be pretty expensive anyway), you already saw this coming because we all on that rich boy!jay agenda.

the menu: how do you even pronounce most of these drinks? ಠωಥ is that a caviar-flavored drink LOL say sike 🅱ls ‼ ahem, so order something familiar to you or let jay pick something for you (it might be expensive, but that's okay let him spoil you 🥺 you deserve it, king/queen/royalty)

activities you do: jay loves listening to your day, and you love listening to his. he often likes to tell you about new things he's learned, and you watch as his eyes brighten over these, loving every sparkle. with jay, i don't see him going to the same cafés all the time: he likes to explore, so the only thing that's consistent is the amount of quality time you two spend together.

short blurb: "jay..!" "hm? what's up? is something wrong with your drink?" "no, it's just...?" you take a second to think about your phrasing before you answer. "is there supposed to be gold foiling on this?" "oh yeah, it's on trend now, babe. i heard it tastes as expensive as it looks." "and as it costs?" 🤨 "don't worry about it, y/n. this is my treat for you since you've been working harder than usual these days." (۶ •̀ᴗ•́)۶

– jake

what kind of café he takes you to: a dog café, let's be honest he really wants to pet dogs and he would get along so well with them. it's the golden retriever energy 🤩

the menu: aside from dog treats to feed the puppers (not jake), re-energize with refreshing drinks from lemonade to peach tea! the dessert menu also looks enticing, honey brick toast and pancake art shaped like the many dogs that prance around the vicinity.

activities you do: pet and feed the dogs, of course, duh you're at a dog café 🐕 for some reason, they take after jake very well, so well that one is practically attached to the hip with him as he pets it, an australian shepherd. he asks you nicely to take pictures of him with it and you tell on him to layla.

short blurb: "y/n, y/n, look! this one loves me!" "i can see that, jake." "y/n, it's an austalian shepherd, do you think he knows i'm aussie too?" "maybe he does." "take my picture with it?" "oh, so proof for layla that you're cheating on her?" "NOOO LAYLA ㅠㅠ"

– sunghoon

what kind of café he takes you to: a modern chic café. it's got the industrial feel to it and perfectly matches his sophisticated vibes.

the menu: only coffees and plain teas! specializes more in hand brewing coffee and the like. also has some sandwiches or pastries for you to taste.

activities you do: with sunghoon, it's mostly talking. the way you two can talk about anything and everything really makes your relationship so comfortable. you two also watch videos and make side comments here and there together. don't forget to take each other's pictures and selfies together, there is no visual hole here and the setting is perfect, what are you waiting for? 📸

short blurb: "are you getting my good side?" "huh, but every side is your good side." "oh yea, you're right." you shake your head at his way of getting a backhanded compliment and simply snap the picture of him and his coffee. looking at it makes you smile, but he quickly pulls you into his side and holds up his phone. "now time to show off my beautiful s/o."

– sunoo

what kind of café he takes you to: a character café! whether it's kakao or line friends, you two are both there to enjoy the too-cute-to-eat types of food, taking many pictures before savoring it.

the menu: character-themed food and drinks! they're carefully planned out from the ingredients to the witty names, all to match the theme of the café. you order a full course meal with sunoo, sharing your entrees with each other and drinks, so you both have the chance to taste what you can!

activities you do: did you hear me? a full course meal 🗣‼️ you two are eating your weight's worth of food because (1) it's cute and (2) it's expensive! sunoo is a chatterbox, and i just know he scored you two a picture with either one of your favorite characters at a lower price. both of you also take part in any chants cheerfully~

short blurb: "you're as cute as all the characters here, y/nie!" "yah, we're both cuter than all of them, don't lie." "yes, you're right, we would be doing them a favor by taking a picture with one of them." "cheers to us then?" you ask holding your glass already. "cheers~" he replies and clinks yours with his. all of a sudden, your favorite character comes by with your plates of food. enamored, you ask if you and sunoo can take a picture with them, to which the servers agree happily as long as you pay accordingly. the two of you pose to your hearts' content with the cute character. after which, you think sunoo unintentionally charmed the servers to give him a lower price for the photo by signing it and letting them post it somewhere, which you can't help but think is so befitting of him.

– jungwon

what kind of café he takes you to: a cottage-style café or specifically, the sheep café in korea. the latter is actually located in hongdae and literally 2 sheep roam around! (search up thanks nature café) he would just want to touch their fluffy fur 🐑

the menu: very green, as in matcha and mint and pandan and the like. also has some cute garden-themed pastries/drinks like the good ol' throwback, dirt in a cup, (basically some crushed oreos with gummy worms), which jungwon is all over.

activities you do: when one goes to animal cafés, you pet the animals! so pet the sheep you two do, but very cautiously, of course. jungwon tries to ba with them, maybe even asks if they make clothing out of their wool.

short blurb: "do you make anything with their wool?" jungwon suddenly asks the worker nearby. "huh? oh yes, we actually do have some sweaters in store if you would like to see them." "yes please." "alright, one moment please." "wonie, will you actually buy one?" "i mean, yea, who else is able to say that they met the sheep their clothing came from?" it's overly priced, but he buys a scarf anyway and wraps it around the two of you despite it being summertime. "jungwon, it's hot in this!" (/Д`)

– niki

what kind of café he takes you to: manga café or a café with really cool latte art. riki would have fun either way, reading manga together or trying out latte art himself!

the menu: the manga café has all your regulars and even offer comfy snack foods like bungeoppang and ddeokboki! on the other hand, the latte art café really focuses on their art, thanks to the machine that prints out any design you want on top of it (which riki is amazed by).

activities you do: in a manga café, you would have a private room together and just chill and roll around in it. at the latte art café, he's having so much fun seeing all the characters and drawings are put on top, even when they're not his (he orders shin-chan or doraemon). they offer 3d latte art classes and the two of you take one!

short blurb: "y/n, your cat looks funny." "riki, it's deflating :(" "draw the face anyway." "how come yours is so nice?" "oh, i just frothed the milk myself." "what? riki, you are so cool~" he becomes bashful and makes use of his classes by buying the necessary materials to make you different 3d latte arts every day.

a/n: YAYY this was so cute thank you for your request again, anon! <3 i hope you liked it, especially the format hehe

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katiea03 · 4 years ago

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❣︎Moving In With The Haikyuu Guys❣︎

❣︎Warnings❣︎: None other then a tiny bit of spice 🤏🏽

❣︎Genre❣︎: Fluff

❣︎Featuring❣︎: Tanaka,Nishinoya,Akaashi,Kenma, and Ushijima

❣︎A/N❣︎: I really like this idea a lottttttt. I decoded to add a random drabble for when you guys are moved in too. It’d be pretty cool if you gusy sent request so send awayyyyyy. Anywhoo Enjoy :)

Tanaka:

Moving in with this man will be just as chaotic as him.

You guys had spent a long time looking at apartments because you guys wanted to be sure it was perfect.

So when you guys finally get the keys, Tanaka will be carrying you bridal style through the door and speeds around the place.

“RYU PUT ME DOWN!”

“Can’t babe, we gotta practice for later!”

He continues to speed around the apartment finally stopping in the kitchen.

He places you on the counter and looks at you with the widest smile

“This is it baby, just you and me.”

He gives you the sweetest kiss before throwing off his shirt off

“Let’s do this!”

If it was up to him, he wouldn’t of had you lift anything but you insisted on helping

But that doesn’t mean he’s gonna let you lift anything too heavy.

By the end of the day, you guys have successfully moved in all the boxes and the very few pieces of furniture you guys did own.

But you guys forgot to buy food… so ordering in it is.

I could easily imagine the two of you pigging out on Chinese food on the floor as you imagine how you two are gonna decorate the place.

You both were exhausted so after sharing a quick shower, you both passed out on the mattress the two of you had set up on the floor.

Tanaka held you extra tight that night, knowing every night would be as amazing as this one.

Random Scenario

You were enjoying a little alone time just scrolling through your phone while you waited for Tanaka to come home from the corner store. All you wanted was a bag of chips, so you were starting to get concerned seeing as he still wasn’t back yet. You knew something was wrong. You hear the door slam and you sit up.“What did you do Ryu?”

He comes from the hallway with a cage.

“Okay babe hear me out!”

“What is that?!” You stand up and walk up to him

“It’s a hamster.” You stare down at the cage with the tiny dwarf hamster as its little beady eyes blinked up at you. Shit its cute.

“I got the cage and food and everything she needs.”

Your lips turned into a pout “It’s a she?”

“Yup!” Dammit! You’re supposed to be mad.

“How much did all this cost?” You almost don’t wanna know.

“Don’t worry about it.” Tanaka places the cage on the counter and reaches into a plastic bag.

“Oh- and I got your chips.”

You were probably gonna strangle him… but he’ll live.

Nishinoya:

Moving in with Noya… is an experience and a half

And probably the most unorganized if we’re being honest.

This man didn’t label any of his boxes and kinda just threw everything together.

He also has a lot of stuff.

He’s traveled a lot so he has a bunch of knick knacks.

You guys walk into your small but homey apartment and he sighs

He looks back and forth between the kitchen and living area.

“Man the sex is gonna be GREAT!” You smack his chest hard.

“We have neighbors!”

“Oh yea!”

Will your neighbors hate you guys, probably.

Noya has music blasting as you move in all your stuff and it isn’t until after dark you guys get everything.

You close and lock the front door and wipe your forehead.

Noya walks into the middle of the living room and starts taking off his shirt

“Yu what are you doing?”

He continues to remove his clothes until he is stripped down to his boxers

“We have to set some rules in this house! Rule number one, no clothes allowed!”

He goes to remove the last piece of clothing but you run and stop him.

“STOP We don't have curtains!”

Does the night end with you guys “breaking in” the new apartment

Yes, yes it does 😉

Random Scenario

Living with Nishinoya taught you a lot. And you guys definitely learned a lot about each other. One thing is that he loves spa days. You guys have made it a tradition to have a relaxing day together full of face masks and long soaks in the tub every Sunday. He loves it when you tie his hair up with a scrunchie as you paint his face with clay masks. He surprised you one Sunday with matching bathrobes with your initials on it. You excitedly changed into it and followed the same ritual as always. You guys had gotten new bath bombs and best believe the man was excited. He always lets you get in first and he slides in behind you. You place the bath bomb in and lean against him as you close your eyes. He rubs his hands up and down your body as he lays soft kisses on your shoulders.

“You know I love you right.” He softly kisses the nape of your neck.

“Mmhmm I know. I love you too” You turn and caress his cheek.

“I could fall asleep like this.”

“Me too.” You get comfortable laying against his chest and try your best not to drift off in his arms.

Akaashi:

Akaashi would be the most organized when it comes to moving. Everything is placed away neatly in boxes and of course labeled (With his label maker of course).

He would never use garbage bags to pack stuff

He would have everything separated based on category.

For sure the thing that would take the longest would be his books.

This man has a mini library I swear

So best believe it would probably take a day to organize his books the way he likes.

“Oh my god why are these books so heavy.”

“Cause they are all hardcover”

He takes the boxes from you and you quickly realize that a lot of his stuff is his books

Of course you guys are lacking furniture for a while but that’s partially because you guys have a hard time deciding what pieces you should get.

Akaashi needed an office for sure with his job.

You would surprise him with a really nice bookcase, cause there is no way his old one would work here.

Random Scenario

Akaashi is a really hard worker, and though he is not exactly where he wants to be in his career, he still gives it his all. It is a pretty demanding job, so there have been many sleepless nights for him. He usually falls asleep a lot at his desk. Tonight was another one of those nights. You wake up in the middle of the night to see his side of the bed untouched. You sleepily climb out of bed and walk straight to his office. You slowly creek open the door.

“Keiji, are you awake?” You get no response. You walk further into the room to see him slumped over his desk with his glasses hanging off his face. You push the strands of hair away from his face and gently shake him awake. His eyes flutter open and he quickly shoots up in his chair.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep here.” He rubs the sleep from his eyes and sits up cracking his back.

“It’s okay, just come to bed. Your work will be here in the morning,” You take his hand and walk back to the room with him. He quickly slides back into bed and forces himself to keep his eyes open until you’re in bed with him. As soon as you are under the covers he knocks out. You softly brush your hand over his face before falling back asleep yourself.

Kenma:

Kenma isn’t exactly the easiest person to move in with. Not because of anything bad, but because this man just hates the essence of moving.

Packing up all your stuff to move it and to take it all out again

It really sucks

And it honestly kind of stresses him out.

Especially with his gaming setup. He was sure to pack all his equipment as best he could.

And during the moving process he didn’t have the time to stream so that kinda bothered him too.

But because of all the stress, he is that much more grateful when you guys have finished moving in.

With your help, he managed to put a temporary set up with his chair so he could finally stream again.

When it comes to decorating, he doesn’t really care. If you like it, he likes it.

Probably would ban Kuroo from coming over.

“Kozu, Kuroo is asking to hang out.”

“Tell him no”. He continues to focus on his game.

“Why not? You haven’t seen him in a while.”

“And I would like to keep it that way.”

You wrap your arms over his shoulder and kiss his cheek.

“Well I already invited him for dinner.”

You knew he secretly wanted to see him, he just had a weird way of showing it

And in the end, you three had a great night together.

Random Scenario

You are about to throw the switch at the television as Kenma won another round of Super Smash Bros. He sits back on the couch with a smug grin on his face and you kick him lightly.

“Again! I’m gonna beat you at least once!” You sit at the end of the couch leaning forward as you start the round for the twentieth time tonight.

“ You know, it gets kinda boring winning all the time.” He yawns.

“Oh shut up, I’m gonna win this time!”

“If you say so.”

You are practically slamming your hands against the buttons and it is doing nothing in your favor.

Kenma laughs out loud as your health bar goes down quickly. You quickly retaliate with the same kick over and over, blocking him into a corner. You scream as you get a lead on him and slowly take down his health.

“Stop using the same moves.” Kenma sits forward a bit annoyed as it is actually working.

“Don’t be salty now”

It becomes an intense match but you ultimately lose. You throw yourself over Kenma’s lap as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“It’s not fair!” You whine out as he lays his hands comfortably on your waist.

“You tried your best” He teased as you leaned in to give him a quick kiss. You lean back with a pout and get off his lap.

“What?” He stands up and reaches for you but you go running down the hall.

“You want a kiss, you’re gonna have to catch me!” Kenma questions whether or not he should take part in your juvenile game but it doesn’t take much convincing as runs after you.

Ushijima:

Moving in with Ushy Gushyyyyyyyyy😩 (I’m sorrry)

Moving in with Ushijima is surprisingly pretty easy

But the one condition was that you had to get house plants

And a lot of them!

But that’s okay, cause they are all your plant babies

(He names them all)

You guys also needed a balcony, it didn’t have to be a big one, but enough to have some plants outside as well as at least 2 chairs.

The apartment was perfect for you both. Plenty of space for both you and him along with all your babies.

Moving all your stuff was really easy and Ushijima didn’t let you lift a finger.

“Toshi can I please do something! There are so many boxes.”

“I told you sweetheart I got it.”

You crossed your arms as you pouted.

But you gotta say, for doing all the moving by himself, he got it done really quick.

And it was a nice view if you know what I mean 😏

Man rolled up his sleeves and mmmmhmmm

Anywhoooooo

The plants were last and you both took your time placing them around the house.

Did you have any furniture

But you have plants so you’ll be fine

Random Scenario

Your mornings started way earlier ever since you moved in. Him being an early riser stuck with you too. You climb out of bed wearing a big T-shirt of his and find Ushijima sitting shirtless with two cups of hot tea on the balcony. You open the sliding door and he turns around.

“Good morning darling.” You lean over and kiss his forehead.

“Morning Toshi.” You sit in your respective seat and he passes you the hot mug,

The sun is slowly rising as you both peacefully sip your tea. You lay your legs over his lap and his calloused hands run up and down your bare legs.

“Have you already watered the plants?”

“Yea, right before you got up.”

You mumble a response and continue looking out towards the sunrise. You listened as he softly went over his plans for the day; he was going to be super busy with practice. But that didn’t matter. In this moment it was just you and him and all your plant babies.

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lovingthereign25 · 4 years ago

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The Chase

Part 9

The morning light beamed through the curtains of yours and Roman's shared bedroom. You turn over seeing your husband already staring at you.

"Good morning Beautiful" he says in his raspy morning voice

"Good morning my love'' you whisper

Roman pulled your body close to his giving you a good morning kiss, which is usually innocent but today Roman had other things on his mind. As his hands start you slide up your night shirt knowing all too well you were only in panties underneath, you stop him at your hips

"Roman the girls could wake up any minute." You whisper

"Not today baby,Your parents took them last night and they won't be home until later our moms were taking them out for a shopping day"he says grinding his hardened member into you.

''Shit I completely forgot" you remember

"It's fine baby, now come here and let me make love to my gorgeous wife" he smiles sliding your shirt over your head.

*November 2017*

In late October rumors the shield reunited. Kicking ass like they always did, taking care of the Miz and his lackeys then ending the night taking down Braun Stroman. Unfortunately seeing Roman in his Shield gear would have to wait he was diagnosed with mumps and out into isolation for three weeks, which he hated but what killed him the most was the fact that he couldn't be around his children .

Raw had been under siege two weeks ago by Smackdown live.And last week the New day cost Seth and Dean their tag titles. So this week Roman was back and baby was playing no games Stephanie was in the ring yelling at Kurt about how he does his job when the music hits. And Seth, Dean and Roman walked through the crowd into the ring confronting Stephanie and telling her they want a piece of the New Day.

Survivor Series is finally here. The shield vs the New Day was here. Roman fully dressed in his shield gear was here.

"Hey, Ro just checking to see if your ready Seth and Dean are waiting for you" you say entering his locker room

"Yeah just adjusting my vest" he says

You look him up and down, licking your lips, you don't know what it was but something about Roman in that gear just sent you over the edge.

"Your staring" he say with a smirk on his face

"Can't help it, I forgot how good you looked in that gear" you say walking up to him

"Down girl, my match is first" he laughs

"Well I don't have a match tonight so whatta say after your match we head to the hotel and break the gear in again" you say kissing his neck.

"Y/n, Please I can't go to the ring hard" he sighs

"Sorry, I've just been having such dirty thoughts about you in this gear... you're bringing out the naughty girl in me Daddy"

You tease

"Fuck, stop I need to head to the ring, you coming?'' he asks

"Hopefully I will be later" you wink slapping his ass

"Let's go'' he laughs shaking his head

As soon as Roman and you were alone in his locker room after the match your lips were on Roman. Anywhere and everywhere his lips,cheeks, jaw, neck, even the little but of exposed chest.

"Y/n, let me change" he moans

" No, no I want you to fuck me while you're in your gear" you pant

"Okay okay but not here baby, I'm not trying to pay a fine for fucking my wife" he laughs.

Once in the hotel room Roman had you undressed in seconds. Leaving you in just your panties just the way he liked it. Roman carried you to the bed throwing you down and sliding your panties to the slide feeling just how ready you were for him.

"You ready baby?"he asks, removing your underwear completely leaving you exposed to him.

"Yes, Roman have your way with me" you say pulling him by his vest to your lips for a kiss.

"I was planning to, Jesus I love you" he says pushing himself into you making your eyes roll back at how good it felt you be full of him

"Shit Ro, it feels so good" you say trying to grab onto anything on him to bring him closer to you knowing it wasn't really possible to be any closer then you two were in this moment

"Yeah, that's it baby girl take it, take it all'' he grunts pulling out of you completely flipping you on to your stomach. He runs his fingers down your spine giving your ass a quick snack before entering again thrusts getting harder and deeper each and every time.

"Fuck, Roman ahhh shit…. damn " you moan

"Shit Y/n always so freakin tight,I'm not gonna last much longer"he groans

'' I'm close Roman, so close" you moan out

After a few more thrusts you hit your climax screaming Roman's name loud enough for the entire rest of the 5th floor of the hotel to hear. Roman hitting his slightly after you spilling into the condom you agreed on. He laid on the bed patting the spot next to him for you to join him.

"Come on let's rest up before round two" he smiles

"Actually I'm gonna head out, I'm flying to Hawaii for Dakota and Reagan's wedding" you say, finding the rest of your clothes.

"Didn't know his wedding was this week, why didn't you say anything?" He asks

"I don't know, just figured you had a lot on your plate with the match and big reunion"

"He's our nephew Y/n, I would have made a change in my schedule" he says

"Technically he's my nephew, we're separated...until the divorce is finalized" you say

Roman had enough. He was pissed not only at the fact that you didn't tell him about your nephew's wedding but also because you were still gonna go through with the divorce after a few months of this jumping into his bed and vice versa.

"So the divorce is happening, is that what you're telling me?' he asks

"Well once both sets of papers are signed yeah that's how it usually works babe" you say

"Then what the hell are we doing Y/n?" He snaps

"What do you mean?" You ask

"This" he says pointing between the two of you "all the kissing ,rubbing on me , dirty talk calling me "Daddy" , all the sex we been having since September, I'm confused" he snaps again

"I don't know, it's just sex I guess, I love you I just can't forgive you Roman"

"You can't forgive me but you can fuck me" he hisses.

*March 2018*

If it was one thing you hated most in the world it was Roman fighting Brock Lesnar, not because he couldn't beat Brock cause he probably could it was because Brock played dirty and didn't follow WWE rules he did whatever the hell he wanted without any care for his opponent. But here you are weeks away from seeing the match you never wanted to see again. Roman and Brock's issues go further than the ring. It's about the passion and respect for the business that Roman and the other superstars have and Brock doesn't. It's about how Brock has had his eyes on you since you could remember and he always takes a shot to make sexual and inappropriate comments towards you. Brock hasn't shown up for Raw in weeks which left Roman pissed, leading him to express his opinion and landing him "suspended" . Anyway Roman was supposed to show up on Raw breaking suspension and be "arrested" and then Brock would make a move come down F5 Roman and that's it but of course that's not went down Brock attacked Roman while handcuff not once but twice leaving you no choice but to then get involved shoving the beast, slapping , punching , screaming at him to leave Roman alone.

Brock stops.

"That's nothing Big Dog, wait til Mania" he says laughing. You go with Roman to a medical center.

"You sure you're okay? You ask him

"Yea, I'm good, but Y/n you really shouldn't have got involved, Brock is unpredictable" he says

" Ro, if I hadn't there's no telling what he would have done to you" you say

" I'd rather me get hurt than you" he snaps

" You were handcuffed, I had to do something, I mean look at your freaking wrist they're bruised" you say rubbing your fingers softly across his bruises.

"I couldn't just stand there and watch him hurt you" you finish

*Wrestlemania 2018*

Your stomach was in knots, your nerves were completely shot. Roman's match was about to start, you were waiting for his music to hit.

" Y/n, I don't want you out here tonight, it's too dangerous" Roman says

"No way Roman, incase anything happens I will ant to be right there" you say

"Y/n, it's not a conversation,I already told Hunter and Steph I want you banned from ringside" he says

"Roman, are you serious?" You snap

"Yes, believe it or not I still love you and I care about your well being" he says turning to face Steve who controls the music giving him a countdown on his fingers

" Fine. Have a good match, please be careful" you say as Roman goes to walk towards the curtain you grab his hand pulling him into a hug and kissing his cheek

"Believe it or not I still love you too, I'll be front row sitting next to your mom" you whispered.

You took your seat next to Patricia,she was just as nervous as you she took your hand in hers.

"He'll be okay, he was born to do this it's in his blood" she smiles

The match started off back and forth, then Brock had the upper hand for a while tossing Roman around like a ragdoll. You say there helplessly watching , next thing you know your husband was put through the announcement table right in front of you with Brock snarling a little " that was for you" you jump to your feet looking over the barrier at Roman, Sika pulling you back to your chair.

"He's got this" he smiles

Brock took Roman back in the ring and delivered another F5 went for the pin but Roman kicked out. You secretly wished he hadn't but he did.

That's was it , Brock was pissed. Your stomach clenching knowing it was a matter of seconds before WWE rules went out the window, and they did Brock takes his protective gloves off punching Roman and hitting him with his elbow at the end ... instantly blood was pouring from Roman's head. You've never seen so much blood in your life your husband was covered in it.

Brock pins Roman. Thank goodness it was over.

" I got to check on him, that's too much blood" you say with tears in your eyes.

"Y/n?", Is Daddy okay?" You hear Jojo ask

You look at Roman then to your step daughter.

" Yeah, baby he's okay" you fake smile bringing her in for tight hug

Roman makes it to his feet walking to where you and his family are seated, you two make eye contact Roman lowers his head you reach your hand out for him, he grabs your giving it a little squeeze.

" I'll meet you in the back" you say

He just nods.

In the back you see the medics checking on Roman getting him ready for staples, the one tells you he's all done and ready for you to go in and you nearly run to Roman.

" Easy there…..I'm really sore" he laughs holding you tight

You don't say anything instead you kiss him.

" No more, promise me no more matches with Brock" you say

" Y/n, I want that title" he says

"Roman, at what costs him ending your career one wrong suplex and it could snap your neck, I want you happy but I need you healthy, here , our children need you." You say

"Fine, no more matches against Brock" he sighs.

" Thank you" you say

Roman pulls you in between his legs kissing.

" I love you" you say pulling away

"Say it again" he says

" I love you" you smile

" I've missed hearing you say that" he smiles

"Come on let's go home to our kids….all five of them" you smile.

#roman reigns x reader #roman reigns smut #roman reigns imagine #roman reigns fanfiction #the chase

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ultravioletsoul · 5 years ago

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Maybe an unpopular opinion regarding Makarov/Character Analysis (part 1)

Sometimes I read comments of CoD fans saying that Vladimir always was an asshole for apparently no reason, that he was the typical Russian cliché villain doing cliché bad things (such an original concept, I know). And while I do agree that for the most part the games didn’t do a very good job at giving him any significant depth (and he acts like a jerk, it’s true), I also have to say that he’s probably one of the most misunderstood characters in the series. Not because I think he was some poor innocent man who did nothing wrong, but because his villainous portrayal tends to take the spotlight every time he’s onscreen and we literally cannot see anything else beyond that. Which, of course, makes him look very one-dimensional since the game always has to remind you in oh-not-so-subtle ways how evil he is.

The story of MW never goes into full detail as to what drove him to do the horrible things he did. And it’s not clear unless one bothers to analyze some obscure information hidden in the loading cutscene of No Russian and does a little research on the side. In all honesty, I wish his story would have been better explained and developed by other means than just a slideshow of newspaper articles and an overview of his dossier. I would have been content with a special trailer that actually explained his background, rather than have him say some pseudo Sun Tzu lines in a few teasers and let that be the entirety of his character development but okay… I guess this was as far as Infinity Ward’s story-telling capabilities went back then.

Sure, you may think: who the hell cares about his motivations? He was an evil mofo and needed to be put down. Well, unfortunately for these people, I exist and I do care because Vladimir is one of my faves— perhaps my most favorite character in the entire MW universe. And though I like him because he’s an unapologetic baddie, that’s not the only reason.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think Vladimir is this super complex character that nobody else gets, but there are definitely some elements that give him a few extra layers and they’re worthy of being analyzed.

Beware, this is going to be a long post and will contain a few historical references. This isn’t a comprehensive breakdown, and I’ll probably make a lot mistakes along the way because I’m not a history buff by any means (please, don’t yell at me ;A;), but it should be a rough explanation of what I think led Vladimir to such extremist views and why I think he’s a good antagonist in Call of Duty. Also it could be a helpful reference for anyone who wishes to write a story about him.

I’m not claiming this is the most accurate interpretation of Vladimir, or that it’s the only valid one, but if any of this information comes in handy or offers a different insight into his character then I’ll consider my mission accomplished.

Without further ado, here we go!

Tagging @sunset-and-periwinkle and @renegad3spectre because they may be interested in this post :v

1. No Russian

So one of the first recollections that come to mind when thinking about MW2 is the infamous mission of No Russian. This kind of content was so violent and crude for its time that it caused quite the controversy and it still divides the opinion between people who think videogames should push boundaries and people who believe there are things that shouldn’t be portrayed in such an offhanded way. Whether including that level in MW2 was a good or terrible choice is not the point of this post. However, I’ll share my personal experience.

Me, back when I played this mission I didn’t give it much thought. I mean… it didn’t have this serious impact on me as I’m guessing the developers intended, from what I’ve read, but that’s mainly because I wasn’t mature enough to make a proper assessment of the story-line and to me CoD games weren’t about deep narratives either. Keep in mind that I was an immature kid and I just wanted to play a game that my brother enjoyed. So yes, without much thought I breezed through No Russian, accomplished the objectives and it wasn’t until the end of the mission that I realized I’d been played like a damn fiddle.

And my first reaction to seeing Makarov killing me was “bro, I thought we were allies”. Never mind the carnage that had ensued moments ago, never mind that I had participated in it. I was more offended by this unexpected 'betrayal' and well... imagine how stupid I was for thinking Vladimir could be my friend. The fact that Allen was a CIA agent completely eluded me and I didn’t understand a freaking thing of what was going on but that was on me. I shouldn’t have been playing those games at my young age because evidently I wasn't ready to handle adult themes like that.

Replaying this mission now that I’m older made me realize how messed up it was, and maybe not for the most obvious reasons. Yeah, innocent people die all around us and that's something we cannot stop from happening, no matter what we do. However, it’s not really necessary for us to hurt civilians to complete the level (we’re not punished for not doing it) so we can be simple witnesses to the brutality ensuing in front of us, which is as equally messed up perhaps. You can even skip the whole mission altogether if you want to, so no biggie: you’re spared the nightmare fuel and you can happily head to Brazil to capture Alejandro Rojas. Heck, you’re even rewarded a glimpse of Ghost ready to torture Alejandro’s assistant and all is back to normal, yay!

However, when you think about it, from the perspective of the story, Allen wasn’t given the option to skip anything. He was pushed to commit a vile deed and ordered to follow Makarov’s lead no matter how morally questionable those actions turned out to be in the end. Shepherd told him that this mission would cost him a piece of himself and he was right about it. Had Allen survived, I’m pretty sure he would have been scarred for life after what he did. I don’t know how he could have lived with himself knowing that he slaughtered all those innocent people. Vladimir killing him off was kind of… an act of mercy in a way, though of course we know he had completely different intentions for doing so.

So people may wonder, why the heck Vladimir carried out that massacre? Some common opinions I read is because he’s an asshole, because he’s crazy, because he wants to make a statement, because he enjoys being a psychopath and hurting others. All these may be true to some extent, we’ll never know for sure, but it’d be very simplistic to just leave it at that without taking into consideration other elements of the story that were left implicit.

I’m going to say that, from my perspective, I didn’t get the impression Makarov enjoyed killing those civilians (but hear me out, neither did he regret it!). It would have been pretty easy to make him this psycho that slaughters people with a smile on his face, but that’s not what we see in No Russian… and perhaps it’s even more terrifying when you realize how casual he is about the whole affair. You really get the impression that he’s a man on a mission and he carries it out in a very no-nonsense manner, does it all with a straight face, without batting an eyelash, without any trace of doubt about what he’s doing, not even a hitch in his voice, absolutely no emotion whatsoever. His actions, his words, his whole demeanor, all scream about being a professional at what he does for better or for worse.

He didn’t know these people, he had no quarrel with them, and yet he killed them all in cold blood. Why? Because they were stepping stones to his goals and there was a very established purpose for that op. To the rest of the world, yea, it may seem like there’s no logical reason for what he did other than he’s nuts but, honestly, Vladimir could care less about that. The only thing that matters to him are the results.

Even if the whole world thinks that he’s insane, in his mind this was the most reasonable course of action. To him it had to be done, there was no other way, and he didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger when the time came because he was truly convinced it was the right thing to do. The fact that he (a criminal who’s wanted by the entire world and probably cannot afford to leave himself out in the open) participated in that brutal event shows the utmost importance it had to his plans. Vladimir personally oversaw and carried out the operation, he didn’t leave anyone else in charge because of the very special meaning it had for him. He says “for Zakhaev” before engaging FSB units because this incident would mark the beginning of a new chapter in Russian history, a chapter Vladimir would write in honor of the man who was his friend and mentor— the man who started it all, who gave him a cause to believe in and fight for.

He definitely had his reasons for what he did. They were the wrong reasons of course, but Vladimir didn’t act on a whim nor did he waste his time on matters that didn’t advance his agenda. He didn’t start a war nor massacred hundreds of people at that airport for simple fun and without a solid motive (though this isn’t by any means a justification, it still was a pretty shitty thing to do). We all know that it was a false flag operation, as he wanted to put the blame on the US for the attack. His intention was sparking a war between Russia and America and he was willing to achieve that by any means necessary, even if thousands of his countrymen had to die, even if he had to make common cause with Shepherd (we don’t know under which circumstances and terms), a man who by all accounts should have been his worst enemy— a man who had set up an entire task force for the sole purpose of hunting Vladimir down. And don’t get me wrong, they weren’t buddies, they still hated each other’s guts and would kill the other in a heartbeat, but they were willing to work together towards the same goal because none of them would succeed on their own.

So, ultimately, Vladimir’s objective was riling up the public opinion to push for an invasion of America and provide the Russian government a ‘legitimate’ reason to do it. Does this have 9/11 commentary undertones? Well, I’m not gonna be the judge of that but it could be a possibility.

However, to understand this moment, we’ll have to go much further back in time.

2. His Childhood

This is going to be a huge oversimplification of Soviet history, I’m afraid, so my apologies in advance. Don’t take my word as the absolute truth, this is barely scratching the surface.

According to the information seen in No Russian, and Return to Sender, little Volodya was born on April 10th (not sure how reliable is the wiki since I was convinced he was born on October 4th *shrugs*) of 1970 in Ivanovo, Russian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic. Or for those who, like me, don’t like those long names, better known as Soviet Russia.

As a curious fact, Ivanovo is known as the City of Brides because it was a very important center of textile industries in the Soviet Union that attracted many young women seeking work. It also has an important historical significance as hotbed for revolutionary activity in czarist Russia and was the city where supposedly the first Bolshevik assembly took place (earning the nickname of City of the First Soviet). During the Second War it proved invaluable as a front city, located close to enemy lines, receiving refuges and injured soldiers of the Red Army that treated their wounds in the many hospitals that were set up for that purpose. Also, in addition to producing armament and fighting in the war, the citizens made good use of their industries and donated huge quantities of fabric to make millions of uniforms.

Back to the topic, next thing we have to wonder is what Vladimir’s life was like as a child born in the 70s. We don’t know much about it and it’s never even mentioned anywhere in the game but, if we had to hazard a guess, he most likely had a relatively happy childhood— raised like any average Soviet kid at the time. His parents were maybe workers, maybe doctors, maybe engineers, maybe teachers, maybe in the military, but they surely weren’t bad people and they wanted their son to be a decent member of society. They didn’t raise him to be a criminal, they didn’t shape him into a monster. If Vladimir had at least one grandfather alive, then he would have served during the Great Patriotic War (a term used in Russia and other former Soviet republics to refer to the conflict in the Eastern Front during WWII). And as a kid, Volodya probably grew up in a typical khrushchyovka apartment with his family. It wasn’t very luxurious but, you know, it wasn’t so bad either and it was home sweet home for them.

Now you gotta imagine what growing up in the Soviet Union was like. Education was heavily influenced by the Communist party and children swam in a sea of propaganda. No, no matter what western propaganda says, they didn’t teach him to hate the west as a kid. Vladimir didn’t want to wipe out Americans from the face of the Earth or skin them alive as you probably imagined at some point, but from a young age he was taught to be proud of being born in the greatest country in the whole world and he pitied the ‘oppressed’ American workers for their lack of Soviet blessings, for being unable to stand up to their imperialist overlords. Heck, this was a popular song in the 80s, when he was about ten years old and probably every Soviet kid sang it at school, including him.

Speaking about that, at school he must have been in contact with several ethnic groups— remember that the industries attracted a lot of people to Ivanovo, particularly women, from many places all over the Soviet Union and, even to this day, Ivanovo is a multi-cultural city with over a hundred nationalities. It’s safe to say that Vladimir would have never given it much thought if someone wasn’t an ethnic Russian nor would he have cared. There weren’t nationalities or differences back then. Everyone was a Soviet citizen and everyone was equal or so it would seem at least, if you ignore the multiple genocides, mass killings, deportations and other horrors of the Stalin era before the Soviet Union adopted a more moderate domestic policy and started a process of de-stalinization after his death— eliminating his cult of personality and other institutions that allowed him to hold autocratic power.

This was also known as the Khrushchev Thaw period, and it was during this time that repression and censorship began to become more lax thanks to Nikita Khrushchev’s policies, and millions of prisoners were released from the gulags. It also opened up the Soviet Union to some economic reforms, trade with other countries, as well as educational and cultural exchanges in the form of foreign uncensored books and movies, music, dances, fashion, and new forms of entertainment in national television. So all this would seem a shift towards a more positive outlook for the Soviet citizens.

Our little Volodya shared and played with other kids in his neighborhood in the playgrounds of the apartment buildings, maybe fell off those Soviet swings and whacked his head a few times but that was okay, he still had fun and laughed and cried like any other child. He grew up listening to old pop music, synth (because people just didn’t listen to patriotic music all the time) and watching Bollywood movies which were all the rage at the time in the USSR as an alternative to western cinema. He had friends, a family that loved him. He spent weekends at the dacha (cottages outside the city) working the land with his family, growing fresh produce. He probably had an affectionate babushka that looked after him, told him many stories, and cooked hearty meals for him because she was a genius at handling finances and feeding the family. She surely was a god-believing woman despite the widespread atheism in a society where the word of Marx and Lenin had an almost religious significance, who took no shit from anyone, and who would chew Vladimir’s head off if he so much went out under-dressed in a breezy day. Even as a grown ass man, she would still intimidate him because you don’t mess with babushkas!

Like a good Soviet kid he was taught to never lie, to help his parents and respect the work of others, to have good manners and not be a spoiled brat, to be considerate and kind to his elders, encouraged to be resourceful, to do things by himself and not expect others to come to his aid, to improve his culture and intellect, to study hard and become someone who would help build the future of socialist paradise. He probably collected silly trinkets like many kids do, he spent his time learning to carve wood and other crafts, reading about the great war heroes and the communist leaders. Year after year he played zarnitsa, a war game for kids and a very popular activity in the Young Pioneers (the Soviet ‘Boy Scouts’, so to speak) that trained young generations for military life, compulsory for every man, cultivating their love for the USSR and preparing them to defend the homeland from the enemy.

Life back then could be tough at times, true, but he must have been quite happy and there was joy to be had. He was raised to be patriotic, a good communist, living in what he believed was a place of peace where all were equals and all were comrades. Having little contact with western influences, he grew up listening to a carefully woven narrative and was told of the decadence of warmonger capitalists that feared the spread of communism so much that they would wage countless wars to stop it and destroy other peace-loving nations. So much could be argued regarding this statement, sure, but this is what he was told and it was during a time when Operation Condor (the US-backed campaign of state terrorism and wave of right-wing dictatorships in Latin America during the 70s-80s) was in full swing to eradicate communism and any Soviet influence from South America. Not to mention the many proxy wars waged throughout these decades, as well.

“For years the western hypocrisy has made the world a battlefield.”

Little Octobrists and Young Pioneers were a thing and the Communist ideology was still going strong even if some started to quietly question it. Not that many did, at any rate, since the dreaded KGB kept a close eye on everyone so dissidents wouldn’t spread the wrong ideas in the Soviet society. Well, at that time maybe you wouldn’t be sent to a gulag just for saying bad things but someone would ‘talk’ some reason into you and there would be subtle threats to tone your attitude down or else your life and that of your relatives could be screwed. Don’t say this, don’t do that, the walls have ears and you’re being watched.

You have to keep in mind that he also grew up under the constant threat of nuclear annihilation. And much like American kids, Vladimir would have been greatly concerned about nuclear armageddon and be familiarized with procedures to follow in case such a terrible event came to pass.

The US and Russia pointed nukes at each other for many years and the NATO military exercises of Able Archer— at the peak of Cold War hysteria— didn’t help matters. These were annual exercises but that year of 1983, new elements never seen before had been introduced, and then there was the menace of the new Pershing II nuclear missiles that had been recently deployed in Western Europe. If launched, these would be able to reach their target in less than ten minutes (faster than any other missile known until then), landing with high accuracy and virtually no warning.

Until then the only thing stopping a nuclear war was the threat of mutually assured destruction, but these missiles tipped off the scales in favor of the west, since the Soviets would have no way to retaliate if their command centers or even their own missile launch facilities were targeted. So the Soviet Politburo was very concerned about this situation, in a time when president Reagan poured great efforts to fight the Brezhnev Doctrine (which established the legitimization of military interventions in Eastern bloc states, or any country that became a threat to international socialism) and show the world that the USSR wasn’t indestructible.

The increase in realism of these exercises, the strained relationship with the US under the Reagan administration, previous psychological operations, participation of heads of government in the exercise, and recent deployment of these new ballistic missiles, made the Soviet military believe that the US and NATO were preparing for a preemptive strike and that the exercise was nothing but a ruse. In response, the Soviets readied their nukes, air forces in East Germany and Poland were put on high alert to any funny business, and Soviet intelligence monitored the situation closely for signs of an impeding attack.

After nine days, the exercises came to an end and that was probably the time both countries were the closest to nuclear annihilation since the Cuban missile crisis of 1962.

So in those years, Vladimir was living under the administration of Leonid Brezhnev famously known for his era of stagnation and also for his passionate kisses (the famous socialist fraternal kiss, you guys :v). Though it’s worthy of being mentioned that in the early 70s the Soviet Union had reached the peak of international power and prestige.

Nikita Khrushchev, Brezhnev’s predecessor, had promised that by the 80s communism would be a reality and maybe that wasn’t so hard to believe at the time. The economy was growing at a rate of about 3% annually and things had started off relatively well in the mid 60s when Brezhnev assumed office. There was full employment, even minimal wage was sufficient to afford basic necessities, healthcare was a given, education in all levels was free and once you finished university or a vocational course, there was a job waiting for you. Things were pretty much settled for everyone. There wasn’t a lot to worry about, not many uncertainties. It was a pleasant predictive life for the most part. Not perfect, by any means, and it had its difficulties but Vladimir’s family felt protected and safe and they had great hopes for the future.

What went wrong then?

To be continued in part 2

#vladimir makarov #call of duty #cod #call of duty modern warfare 2 #modern warfare 2 #i'm sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes #it's midnight here #and i should be going to bed ;A;

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nidhoggssoultrap · 5 years ago

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Headcanon Part 3

Dress up game...one character...inspired all this...wow. But, I was able to dig up some old “flames” because of this, so it’s all good.

Previous “Headcanons”:

https://nidhoggssoultrap.tumblr.com/post/190472389157/my-headcanon-nidhogg-louie-and-yvette-mostly

https://nidhoggssoultrap.tumblr.com/post/190581277697/headcanonsvingettessnippets-part-2

1. Since I have a special fondness for Camaros, I decided that Nidhogg will be driving that. A powerful black one that is a blast to drive. >:) My biases are showing, I know.

2. My "adaptation" is a cross over with Ultima. This is a very old series that has been an inspiration for years. Want an old school RPG to play? Try the Ultima series. The NES port of Ultima IV, Quest of the Avatar is excellent. But, the PC versions are better with Ultima 7 being considered the best and unfortunately going downhill from there. Still, it is an amazing old school series that is worth checking out and they are either free or low cost. Anyway, the Blood Curse problem is solved by instituting a "Virtue System" with Louie as one of the "Avatars", a shining example of virtue. Yvette will be one too as will quite a few others. The "True King" used to be like this, but because of his curse, he lost all virtue and is no longer an Avatar.

Nidhogg had NO idea that Louie was such a thing. No one did until he revealed it after the fight. Nidhogg had been trying for another power and as stated in the second batch of headcanon, he failed. Because of this, he is hit with a second curse, one that is not only painful, but scarring. Unlike the Blood Curse, only an Avatar can alleviate the pain once it flares up and there is no way to free someone from such a curse.

The "Fail Curse" basically means that you must follow the path of the Avatar and live in service to them. Failure to do so means being burned alive. Since Nidhogg isn't stupid or interested in killing himself(he did, however, consider it), he follows that path. The scarring goes from the heart and covers the upper left side of the body, except for the neck, face, and private parts(think heart attack area and that's generally where the scarring is). Still, having such scarring puts someone at a disadvantage in styling contests. The "Scarring" is the term I will be using in my "headcanon".

3. Remember the "He can't keep getting away with this!" Yvette says about Nidhogg? She tells Louie this and he point blank says, "he's not going to." This one came up recently, but I'm going to roll with it. It's based on something that apparently happens in a new Yvette Dreamweaver. After the death of Lunar, Louie decides to pay her a visit in Lillith due to their mutual connection to Nidhogg. She's seen Louie before in Apple(first while he was on his motorcycle and second at a restaurant bar) and thought he was "gorgeous." She considered the woman he loved "a very lucky woman". Nidhogg was NOT happy with this, but he acted like it was "no big deal". Anyway, Yvette and Louie tell each other about themselves a bit and he reveals that not everything about the Prime Minister is false, but does confirm that the Colonel is the "genuine article". Yvette is sorry about Lunar's death and, of course, so is Louie. They agree to work together to stop Nidhogg. This would happen while Nikki and Kimi are in Apple dealing with Reid.

4. Speaking of beach theme in the last headcanon, Nidhogg's idea of "beach theme" is a t-short and boxer shorts. That's it. He's the same way with the Pajama theme.

5. I have another bunny involving Louie taking advantage of Nidhogg's love for him. It's basically a plot to steal back the White Blossom. It's a "date" that ends in "bedtime" and well, Louie succeeds in stealing the White Blossom. Needless to say, Nidhogg is well...displeased at being so used. It does not end for either one of them as they fight at the grave of Louie's father. Yea, mean bunny. I get those sometimes.

6. Nidhogg's parents were high ranking NCOs in the military. His father(I named Liam) was a "King of Cups" sort while his mother(Madam Zosha) was a "Queen of Wands." If one had to choose, it's agreed that Nidhogg took after his father and became "The Page of Swords" and ultimately "The King of Swords." He loved his parents very much and was present when they died. Liam died the same way Micheal Collins did(shot while going between cars). Zosha died soon afterward trying to avenge him. This is quite possibly his most painful memory and won't likely be surpassed. He was eight years old. He lived for two years on his own before being discovered in Black Rock City by Louie's father. Yea, Nidhogg knows some hardship and knows how it feels to watch someone being accused of things they did not do (Liam was falsely accused of treason) and lose everything because of it.

7. Nidhogg learned to drive when he was 13. Self-taught on a manual shift jeep. He stalled only once, decided that it would never happen again and it didn't(that is, until the very end of the chase when Yvette finally fights back). He was a few years older when he learned to fly, but was quickly surpassed by Louie. However, as stated in previous headcanons, Nidhogg is a better driver.

8. There are four "loopholes" around the Blood Curse: 1. Medicines(Regent 7), 2. Inability to feel pain. 3. The ability to feel pain and pleasure as one. 4. Immune/Highly Resistant to curses. Louie becomes the 4th one due to Avatarhood.

9. It should have gone without saying that Nidhogg is a loner(which was why he was happy that Louie was similar). In fact, Shade was shocked that he would continue desiring Louie. Shade had assumed that Nidhogg didn't need anyone. Nidhogg's response? "Who said anything about need?" A lot of my favorite characters are like this.

10. Confession Bear: While thinking of the car chase story, I kind of laughed at the fact that there are two grown men embroiled in "gay drama" in front of a young woman, two teenage girls, and a talking cat. In the end, pretty much everyone knew what went on between Louie and Nidhogg, not something either of them wanted much.

11. In Headcanon 2, I made it clear that Louie was blinded by hate/rage. Because of this, some of his actions were a bit unbecoming of an avatar(this Ultima, this happens too. The point is that things can get complicated and being virtuous doesn't always work). Like: twisting and turning Nidhogg's words until it suited his purpose, ascribing words/actions to Nidhogg that he didn't actually say/do, using Nidhogg's actual words against him, and well, subterfuge. Louie succeeds in getting a good number of people to defect, but they end up siding with ORLANDO. Either way, League Tyr suffers losses because of it. Part of the reason Louie acted the way he did was due to desperation, but also the rage he felt toward Nidhogg, but it wasn't pure rage as he still loved his elder "brother"/friend.

At the end of their final duel, Louie strips him of his cape, his medals, and his weapons. He tells the girls, "If you have any last words to say to him, say them now because it'll be awhile before you ever see him again, if ever." He also uses Nidhogg's quote about fate against him("This is your fate"). All of this was done while Nidhogg suffered greatly under the "Fail Curse." Louie could have alleviated the pain while before banishing him, but deliberately chose not to.

He's also said this(when Morrison/Grey Raven was captured): "The opinions of others mattered little to your parents. Where are they now?" Er, yea...lowblow. Nidhogg's response? A raised eyebrow and he continued his argument as if Louie had said nothing of the sort and was STILL trying to persuade him to join the Night Order.

During the "chase" he finally does get to Nidhogg when he basically says, "The freedom you will bring is false!" And even worse, "I wish you had died as a child, buried in the snow with no one to give a damn about you. Then, I would have never known you and I wouldn't be cursed with the memories of you!"

He says a lot more, but that's the gist of it. Had it been anyone else, it would have the effect of a sneeze in a tornado, but because it was Louie, it, well, got to Nidhogg in ways no one else was able to. Yvette and Nikki simply angered/irritated him. Louie...well...made him cry. Er, sort of. I mean, this is Nidhogg, after all. At that point, Nidhogg basically says "you never understood me, you never really tried" and makes a declaration that sends Louie in tears. Soon after that, Nidhogg tells all of them that there is no use arguing anymore because "you will never agree with me and I will never agree with you, so that makes things rather moot, now doesn't it?" When Louie offers a reconciliation, Nidhogg says that it's "too late now."

In the end, Louie regrets all off of it because he knew that Nikki was right: It was needless cruelty. He was also reprimanded by the Seer of the Avatar, who said the same thing and that vengeance had no place for an Avatar. Later on, Nidhogg tells him that he would have never been so cruel had the situation been reversed.

12. Of all those in the Night Order, only Nidhogg faced any real consequences. It was decided that being "Scarred" was punishment enough. Plot twist: He was set up by Ryan all along and Ryan was the one who finally inspired Yvette to become her own White Knight. Remember Ryan?

13. That power Nidhogg so desperately wanted and needed Yvette in order to obtain it? It would have destroyed him completely as his mindset was a bit "reversed" at the time. So really, Yvette and co. saved him and his soul.

14. Nidhogg, imo, is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. If he's poor, he's jealous. If he's rich, then he's a hypocrite. If he's straightforward, he's an asshole. If he sugercoats, then he's a liar. He learned early on not to give a damn what others think for this reason as his parents went through the same thing.

15. The issue is that there was only one way to settle disputes. So, the stylings contests were something that seemed freeing, but it wasn't. It was a sugar coated tyranny. Such a thing created internal turmoil, hence "false peace."

16. Confession Bear: My first impression of him in his uniform other than "OMG HAAAWWWWT" was "OMG FASCIST!" But, then I looked up the Iron Cross and found that it predates any thought of Fascism/Nazism by about 200 years.

17. Nidhogg KNEW that there would be chaos. "Of course there would be chaos! Did you think I wouldn't know that!? But from chaos will come a new order and it will be under my firm, guiding hand!"

18. Yvette looked at all the gifts Nidhogg had given her after all that had happened. While keeping a low profile in Lillith, she wondered how much contempt/disdain/hate he actually had for her. It wasn't the first time she had such "friends", but Nidhogg's deceit hurt her the most. She found that people being honest with where she stood with them was far more preferable. She thought of throwing the gifts away, but Kiki told her that the gifts didn't do anything, so she shouldn't. Yvette chose not to. She also remembered the "I like me speech" and that she had true friends.

19. Liliana(this is the 'artist' in my fic) works as a cleaner/maid in the capital building. She is a friend of Bobo and ultimately Yvette. She draws all sorts of things, including designs. Nidhogg actually used one of her drawings to make Bunny Stockings ("That's not his style.") Unlike the thief, he gives her credit and thanks her for being able to look at her sketches. After the coup, she thinks that he may have been looking at her sketchbook/photo album to see what she knows.

20. Nidhogg has a "take all you want, but eat what you take" attitude when it comes to food. This is from the military.

#love nikki #headcanon #lots lots lots #love nikki nidhogg #love nikki yvette #love nikkie louie #other characters #bla bla bla

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duhragonball · 6 years ago

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Dragon Ball Z 031

Last time, Goku started powering up to use a Kaio-ken X3. Today, he’s still powering up, and Bulma’s scouter explodes from the raw intensity of... wait a minute, it already exploded last episode.

And King Kai already said this last episode too! Also, I never noticed before how small his hands are. Got some Donald Trump hands on him.

FInally we get some new footage, and Goku breaks up the rock that Geets is standing on. This distracts him just enough...

To punch the shit out of him! Yeah!

And here’s a kick! BAM!

And another one, right in the mush! I had to slow down the video player to get these shots, but it was worth it. Goku’s just clubberin’ this guy.

Vegeta keeps trying to hit him but he can’t! Goku’s on fire!

And now Vegeta’s beginning to feel the same frustration Nappa experienced before. Not much fun in Goku Town, is it?

Geets tries to punch Goku, but he catches his fists and starts squeezing! Vegeta manages to wriggle loose and tries to fight back...

Then Goku headbutts him in the face!

There’s this sequence where Goku just unloads on Vegeta, and it’s 100% Goku offense. Vegeta can’t do anything but suffer. It’s only a few seconds, because the animation is so quick, but damn, it is savage.

Vegeta jumps up to a butte to get some breathing room, and then he drops to his knees in pain.

Then he collapses into a fetal position. This is insane!

This whole “Goku Fights at Kaio-ken X3″ segment is pretty short, but really, it’s the most important part of this fight, which is in turn one of the most important parts of Dragon Ball. However briefly, Goku just overwhelmed Vegeta, avoiding all his attacks and raining heavy blows on him at will. Part of the reason for this is that Goku knew he’d only have a short time to fight at this level, so he was determined to make every shot count.

However, this flurry of offense isn’t enough to actually beat Vegeta. Instead, it just makes him furious.

Every so often, you see Goku twinge while he’s fighting in this mode, because it’s taking too much of a toll on his body. This was what King Kai was talking about when he warned Goku never to go above a 2X Kaio-ken. But Goku had no choice. He had to use a triple, and now it looks like even that’s not enough.

The sight of his own blood is what pushes Vegeta over the edge. He decides to destroy the whole planet, just to punish Goku for the humiliation he just inflicted on him.

Goku has no choice. He has to use the 3X Kaio-ken one more time to save the Earth. He powers up and fires a Kamehameha...

... to intercept Vegeta’s Gallick Gun, which looks like a very similar move, only Vegeta sort of does it overhand, and from the opposite side.

And the two beams meet in mid-air. We saw a similar beam struggle during the Goku/Piccolo fight at the 23rd Budokai, but this one’s much bigger. The fighters are stronger, the beams are more powerful, and the stakes are much higher.

But Goku can’t hold out, so he plays the only card he’s got left, and goes for a Kaio-ken Times FOUR.

King Kai is horrified, but it works! Vegeta’s Gallick Gun is reflected back on him, and he gets shot up into the sky. Amazing!

But Goku paid a heavy price for that stunt. Yajirobe comes out of hiding to congratulate Goku, but when he pats him on the back, Goku screams in agony. Worse, Vegeta isn’t beaten yet. Goku’s just waiting for him to come back down, and he’ll be super-pissed whenever he does.

So Yajirobe nopes the hell out of there.

Up in the sky, Vegeta is indeed not beaten, and he’s super-pissed. He plans on using the Giant Ape form to destroy Goku once and for all. The irony is that he probably doesn’t need to go to such lengths. Yajirobe almost beat Goku a minute ago, and he wasn’t even trying. But Vegeta doesn’t realize how fragile Goku’s game plan is right now. He just knows he’s fighting a guy who outpowered his Gallick Gun, which means he’ll have to escalate this even further.

There’s just one problem: Vegeta can’t find the moon. He says he timed their arrival on Earth to coincide with the full moon, but it didn’t matter because Piccolo blew it up months ago.

But that’s no big deal. Vegeta has a substitute in mind, although it’ll cost him some of his power to make it work.

Naturally he blames Goku for destroying the moon, and he explains exactly how the Oozaru transformation works, in order to explain how his power allows him to bypass the need for moonlight.

Too bad Goku has no idea what he’s talking about. He didn’t even know Saiyans could transform. Which is odd, seeing how Raditz told him in Episode 2, and King Kai mentioned it when he told him the story of the Saiyan/Tuffle War.

Here’s the deal: When sunlight is reflected off the surface of a moon, it generates “Blutz waves”, which enter a Saiyan’s eyes and trigger a reaction in their tail, producing the giant ape form. So there’s three ingredients to get a Great Ape going: Blutz Waves, a tail, and direct visual contact. Only a full moon produces enough Blutz Waves to make it work, but Vegeta knows a technique that allows him to create a Blutz Wave source with his own energy.

The key thing that I hadn’t noticed until today is that it does take a substantial amount of power to make the thing work. Vegeta doesn’t mind, since the Ape form will more than make up for it, but the point here is that he’ll be considerably weaker when he changes back, and his Ape form won’t be quite as strong as it would have been under natural moonlight. So Piccolo destroying the moon wasn’t a wase of time after all. Vegeta can manage without the moon, but at least his ape form won’t be at full power.

And yea, Vegeta transforms. Goku does not, of course, because he’s been without a tail for about six or seven years now. Tough break.

I gotta say, this has got to be one of the best Dragon Ball episodes ever. You’ve got Goku’s epic beatdown of Vegeta to start, and you get the classic beam struggle and Vegeta’s fake moon reveal. A lot of episodes only have one big moment at most, but this one has three. You just can’t lose.

#dragon ball #2019dbliveblog #goku #vegeta #yajirobe #bulma #king kai #dragon ball z #saiyans saga

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princess-spicy · 6 years ago

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ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ɢɪʀʟ

Pairing: Namjoon x reader

Genre: One-shot (fluff/kinda smutty)

Warning:Mention of sensual dancing, and swearing.

Note: this is based in New York.

Irene= Your Best Friend

Y/N= Your name

“Remind me why are we going out?” Irene asked as she was “Look come on, after this stressful semester we had, we deserve to relax.” You say with a smirk and poke her side. She sighs and you both look in your closets to see what you guys are gonna wear. You take out a red dress that hugs your curves just right. You curl your hair into some loose curls. Irene has decided to wear a black dress with mesh and her hair is straightened. You gotta admit, both of you look hot asf. You arrive to the club and as you get out the uber you can feel the crisp breeze of New York City.

The bouncer lets you two in with ease since he knows you love to party. Everyone thinks just because you like to party, that your dumb in college. But actually you work your ass off in all the classes you have. Irene gets you both a VIP booth and you see your friend Hoseok. “Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were gonna play video games?” You ask him as you give him a tight hug. “Well, my controller broke so, I was like might as well go to the club”. He starts chucking and gives Irene a hug.

“Well, you can sit with us, Irene got us a VIP Booth.” He smiles “Ok, you don’t mind if my friends come with right?” He askes with an eyebrow raised. “Of course Jungkook and Tae can sit with us!” He nervously chuckles”Yea, ok sounds cool, I’ll go get them.” He goes off and gets them, and I take a sip of my drink. Irene looks behind me and her eyes goes wide “You won’t believe this y/n.” I look at her like 🤨 I say “Spit it out Irene.”

She fiddles with her fingers “Well Hoseok was right about one thing, Tae came but not Jungkook.” I look at her with an eyebrow raised “What do you mean, so who else came with him then?” As I finish the question I can hear Hoseok coming closer talking to his friends. “Hey, so I know you guys obviously know Taehyung, and this is Namjoon.” I turned my head and of course it would be Namjoon. Yea he’s smart, but he’s also a smart ass. He always has a comment to say about me being a party girl but surprised I actually get good grades. I guess you can say we don’t get along. Irene greets the boys and she coughs to signal well greet the boys.

You get up and Namjoon is just standing there with a smug look on his face. “Namjoon.” His smirk just gets bigger “Well, if it isn’t ‘Miss Party Girl’.” I just look at him and go to Tae. “Hi Tae, how have you been?” You ask him as you give him a hug. Tae just chuckles “I’ve been good Y/N, it’s been a while huh?” You agree and go back to sit down next to Irene. You see them just standing there, “Well, what aren’t you guys going to sit down?” Hoseok and Tae start laughing and they move to go sit down. Tae decides he’s going to sit down next to you. Irene is on the other side of you, and Hoseok and Namjoon are on the other side of the booth.

You make Irene take shots with you, and you turn to Tae to take a shot with you. “Oh,come on Tae, take the shot with me, pleasseee.” You smile brightly at him and he starts chuckling. “I’ll do it, but it will cost you a dance.” He smirks at you, and you can feel everyone’s eyes on you, especially Namjoons. Actually ever since Tae has sat by you he had his eyes on you. “Come on, Tae, you already know it’s a deal!” Irene and Hoseok both roll their eyes and start laughing ‘oh course she would, she loves to party’.

“Come on guys, let’s get take some shots, let’s forget how awful this semester was.” You start handing shots to everyone, Namjoon puts his shot glass back “Sorry, I’m not drinking tonight.” You look at him with an eyebrow raised, and Tae turns to him “I thought you wanted to come and get destressed Joon.” His face turns pinkish, “Well since Hoseok drove here and already had some drinks someone has to be sober to drive.” Even though you didn’t like him, what was the point of coming to the club if you can’t drink and have fun. Yea I know, ‘you don’t have to drink to have fun’, but I see it in his face that he just wanted to at least have a couple drinks.

“Look, don’t worry about it, Irene and I have uber you guys can spilt and ride in the uber with us.” Irene agrees to what I say and Hoseok opens up his mouth “Actually that doesn’t sound bad, I’m down.” Tae starts smiling to “Me too, so Joonie it’s time to take that shot.” We all take our shot and I’m glad everyone forgot about the tension and are having fun.

One of your favorite songs Downtown (by Anitta and Jbalvin) starts playing. “This is your dance, Tae.” You pull him off the booth and go to the dance floor. You both start dancing to the rhythm of the song and you guys are dancing sensually. But you both are friends and know there isn’t anything there between you guys.The song is over and you guys go sit down back at the booth. Irene starts laughing “Y/n, your hot,dance and smart what can you not do?” Hoseok and Tae start laughing while Namjoon is silent. “Irene, your so pretty,smart and all the guys love you.” You pout at her, she hugs you “really y/n all the hot guys were looking at you. ”Irene you get all the cute, smart guys and I always get the fuckboys.”

“Wow, I’m offended.” Tae pretends to clutch his chest, and starts laughing. “Tae, your not a fuckboy, your one of my best guy friends.” He just says I know and gives you a tight hug. A slow song starts playing and this cute guy asks Irene out for a dance. It’s just you, Hoseok, Tae, and Namjoon. Sighing you say “Why, can’t I get a nice guy to ask me for a slow dance.” Hoseok looks at you, “Aww, y/n, there is a guy out there for you, that looks at you for the spicy, sweet,smart girl you are.” You look at them, “you know what, your right!” You stand up “I’m a smart, fun girl and I don’t need to think that I won’t get a nice guy.” You tell them your going to the bar to get a drink.

As you walk away from the table towards the bar, Taehyung looks at Namjoon. “This is your chance Joonie!” He wiggles his eyebrows at him. “I told you,that you had a chance with her.” Namjoon just sighs, he developed a crush on you since the beginning of college. He had a class with you, and his breath was taken away at how smart you were. You always paid attention to class and would always shoo away the guys who hit on you. When he came out with Hoseok to the club and saw you dancing, he knew he fell even harder. Not only were you pretty, smart, but you knew how to dance and have fun. Hoseok came up to you and that’s when he first meet you. Namjoon didn’t know how to talk to you so he just said something stupid, which was “Who knew a party girl was so smart.” When you raised your eyebrow at him, he knew he messed up.

“Namjoon, you’ve been crushing on her forever, you even made me miss my video game time just so we can come.” Hoseok looks at Namjoon and pushes him off the booth. “Sorry buddy, but if you made me miss playing video games, you have to make your move.” He gives Namjoon a smile and Taehyung adds. “Besides, your not a fuckboy, your her type and perfect for her.” After basically getting kicked off the seat, he starts walking towards you.

You just got your drink when, you see Namjoon start walking towards you. “Look Namjoon, if your going to make fun of me, you can just turn around.” You look at him with an eyebrow raised and are about to walk past him. “Look, I’m sorry I’ve been a dick since we first met.” He looks at you with sad eyes, “I just had a crush on you since the first class we had and when Hoseok introduced us, I just thought you wouldn’t like a smart guy like me.” Yes when you first saw Namjoon in your class, you thought he was cute. He always had his brown hair styled and always would show up to class on time. That was one of the things that made him stood out. He was always respectful to his teachers and classmates. So when he said that to you in the club, you were confused because he was such a nice, respectful guy in your eyes.

“Let’s start over then, I’m y/n.” Holding your hand out you smile at Namjoon. You can see the him smile and the pinkness on his cheeks get darker. “Nice to meet you y/n, I’m Namjoon.” After you shake hands another slow song plays and he invites you out to dance. You both start slow dancing, his hands are on your waist while your arms are around his neck. You just look at each other and at that moment, you realize that you like him too. You pull him down to you and kiss him.

You can hear Hoseok and Tae cheering, while Irene is beside you saying “I always knew, you guys would get together.” After kissing him, Namjoon looks starstruck. “Wait, so you like me back.” You nod your head and he hugs you closer. “Namjoon I always thought you were cute, I like smart guys, just cause I like to have fun doesn’t mean I want a guy that likes to party 24/7.” He just starts smiling and kisses you once more. Once the song ends, Irene leaves with her date and you and your new boyfriend get into your uber. You see Hoseok and Tae running out of the club. “Wait, don’t forget the people that hooked you guys up.”

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kado-maschine · 4 years ago

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How to be alone?

Everyone has problems right? Those who don't, either don't understand what the term problem means, or they are inanimate matter, but even inanimate matter has problems too because of entropy.

Anyhow, my scariest bogeyman is that at best I can't make a relationship work, and at worst I even avoid the chance of having one. Why? If I want to put it simply, fuck knows. Thing is that I'm not gonna put it simple this time, as what I have learned from fake news propagated by Russian troll armies is that everything that is simple, sensational and easy to understand is not very productive apart from having the intention to muddy the waters and serve a very select few by doing so.

Since my interest is to clarify things for my own good (and maybe help or at least entertain others), truth is the name of the game with this writing (whatever it turns out to be). If there will be no other benefits, at least I’m going to be able to cross off the mental task off my imaginary to do list.

One day, after having a rather enjoyable horse at the vet sensation, as I went to bed I had the same sensation that I was having as a child on countless occasions when I couldn't sleep or woke up randomly during the night. The bed, the sheets and most importantly the pillows felt like they are made some rigid, abrasive material, that is also disgusting. It felt like being embraced by disgust and bitterness. Normally my bed and I are best buddies, I love to sleep and I had no problem falling asleep on a beam bag in the middle of the office, during business hours. The chemistry was also supposed to help, not to deteriorate. Fast forward a few weeks while sitting on the bed and drinking a cuba made of free rum and overpriced PEPSI from the hotel's mini fridge I'm trying to figure out, when and why was I having problems with sleep before and when was I sleeping like a baby and why. In recent history, since my memory is one very slippery slope, the answer is a no, a no regarding detectable issues with my sleep. It is a no, as long as all the nights spent with gaming, night shifts or digging through obscure forums to find a track in a mix somewhere between minute 53 and 57 are not considered. Reflecting on the whole experience described above, I must have had trouble sleeping when I was a really small child and I was missing a lot. As I was growing up things got gradually better. By the time I was in high school the wardrobe have been conquered and turned into my gaming nest. The gaming room hosted my first gaming pc that I built piece by piece from a shitty Athlon that dad got screwed over by some "friend" and beloved games that kept me glued to the screen for hours on end. After the PC came my first car, job, girlfriend and slowly but surely as I moved away from my parents my own life really started to take shape. I have slept better and better. Now, armed with a mortgage, with two cars that possibly cost as much put together as a front bumper for a brand new BMW M3, two cats who are by far not the smartest but they keep me company and are cute af, two bicycles, a bunch of computers and a job that I'm grateful to have and one that fits my questionable attitude towards work, I yet again arrived to the point where the quality of my sleep is degrading faster than a space capsule entering the atmosphere, despite all the the things listed above were part of what I was dreaming of as a child and teenager/student.

Despite all of these, I'm oscillating between two states when it comes to sleep. One is the depression sleep, after taking a long hard look at my backlog that reaches to the Moon and back at least five times, taking a nap seems to be the only viable option, or multiple naps, or a humongous sleep where the only thing that can get me out of bed is the need to pee. The other one is the let's try to solve all of my problems in a purely theoretical manner, right before sleep, going over the same problems over and over, while making wild conspiracy theories about myself, because of the purely hypothetical setting. This mental kung-fu under some circumstances can turn into the above mentioned “being embraced by disgust” thing. How did I get here?

I've seen people being happier while having a lot less. What is that they have and I do not possess? Intimacy, I guess by the power of exclusion. Of course I could just short this whole thing before it gets off the ground, as a self-proclaimed good capitalist. I could say that If I can make enough money, someone will fake it for me for the financial benefit and as long as this someone does the thing right and tricks to my brain, I couldn't give less a of a fuck, or could I? Anyhow, with my current work ethic of extracting as much resources as possible form as little invested work as possible puts a cap on my earnings that limits my financial possibilities to roadside STD intimacy. Shut up! - screams the humanist from somewhere between repressed emotions and avoided social responsibilities. You have to make things work, otherwise you're just treating the symptoms, but the root cause remains and will re-surface over and over again - he continues. Now, call me Susan and you know the rest... A multitude of attempts were made to solve this mess, so I kept failing in various ways. Yes, my now my mantra is "failure, failure, failure, failure, failure, success, failure, failure, success". Despite this attitude, one can only take so many failures before feeling exhausted and gets worse at the task on hand because of said tiredness and fails even more. People also tend to tell me that I need to learn to be happy alone. Please, shut the fuck up. Despite my shitposting, which i find genuinely funny, good and somewhat toxic way of escapism, I can be happy when I'm alone. Just to bring one example to the table, the road to this very hotel room where I'm writing this whatever right now, took me through one of the twistiest mountain passes that gets you outside of the Carpathian basin, the road goes through the city of Cheia (BV) and it has dozens upon dozens of hairpins one after another and miles upon miles of narrow, twisty roads with a bunch of elevation changes. My right foot just couldn’t care about fuel consumption. With my tires squealing in almost every corner and I was laughing loudly in the car, spanking the dash and shouting "ohh yea" while I could let the steering wheel loose for a few seconds. Dancing alone in the living room when the track of the week or month hits out of the blue, or when the right people at the right party are found to have "deep" conversations about whatever stupid topics that our brain soaking in whatever cocktail finds to be fit for purpose. The thing is, if one spent somewhere in the neighbourhood of six years trying all the gizmos and distractions of the modern society to make him or herself be happy without intimacy and succeeded to some extent, but at the same time realized that hundreds of thousands of years of evolutional biology and al the workflows tied into it cannot be cheated in a lifespan, what are the limits for being happy alone?

I have reached a point where the things that cause me unconditional pleasure are getting very complicated, time consuming, expensive or dangerous, like buying car parts, pushing transportation devices to their limits, gambling with bs crypto currencies or trying to learn skills with a heck of a learning curve, not to mention experimenting with chemically induced changes in my brain activity. I have also reached a point where it gets harder and harder to trick my biology. The ape says reproduce, while this in the modern era where global warming is prevalent and innocent eyed orphans are making t-shirts in Bangladesh for next to nothing in a sweatshop, while China’s rivers deliver more plastic to the oceans than water kind world makes no sense. I could at least fool the ape with just having someone around and occasionally making love or engaging in other forms of intimacy. At least the thresholds would be closer and it would be a lot simpler to fool the inner ape and the hormone levels wouldn't need to filled up with lies that much. Besides the raw biological teardown, having someone around as a partner where the positive interactions outweigh the negative ones could be the basis of a symbiosis between two humans.

If some intimacy / sex / company would help, why I’m not having any? - the question poses. In theory, the ins and outs have been mapped out. It all started, as it mostly does, during childhood. The marriage of my parents went totally south when my sister was born and I had 4 years, so my long term memory just started working. This meant that my memory had no part of seeing a single act of intimacy of my primary caregivers towards each other, just shouting, aside from my grandmother and my favourite aunt giving me a hug sometimes. It was a real battle zone where a few hours without shouting were far and few between. This and a lot of other shit that my parents were haunted by, courtesy of their own pasts gave me exactly zero knowledge on how to read woman. I’m basically fucking blind. Even if I was any good at maths I would loose count of the occasions when someone told me, “Look at that girl / woman, how she’s looking at us / you” and I had to ask where to look, in terms of general direction, not to mention the ability to pick up small signs. How do I see the sign, if a year or so have passed since we ’been together and I didn’t know the eye colour of my first girlfriend. Sounds surprising right? Well, when batshit crazy is considered normal for the first 20 years of your life, climbing out of that perspective has quite a learning curve. If that learning curve weren’t damn steep enough as is, add a stupid decision to it, and be very disciplined about that stupid decision for years, and the shitstorm will be near perfect. But I come back to the near perfection of the shitstorm in a bit.

First of all, how about that first girlfriend and the stupid decision? I think I might have been 18yo when I had my first kiss and I was 19yo when I met my first girlfriend. I would have never ended up her boyfriend if I wasn’t drunk on a particular party and were just kissed by another girl who was into me boosting my morale, the cherry on the top of the cake being that I knew from a friend of my sister that my would be ex was into me. All these factors played into the hand of a relationship that lasted two and a half years and could have been a major leaping stone for me. She looked gorgeous and a chemistry was spot on. We learned things together and I learned how and where and when to touch a woman. Since I was still in the grasp of the narrow conservative (small rural town, what do you expect?) mindset I did and said a bunch of things I’m not proud of. Hopefully she learnt more from those lessons as much as I did or even more. So, why wasn’t this relationship the bridge between my loneliness and the ability to have functioning relationships? Why instead of being a leaping stone I stumbled and fell into a ditch head first?

When it ended, the feeling was so shitty, that the most logical conclusion to my very simplistic mind was to avoid feeling like that again altogether, therefore becoming cold and distant become the primary guidelines. Six years of loneliness ensued. Going without sex, kissing anyone or hugging could be easily measured in moths or even a year. Months have passed between occasional one night stands, where the hunter was determined or drunk enough to not to care about my cluelessness, or the hunted was drunk enough to not to be totally unapproachable or clueless or both. Even if they were looking to turn the one night stand into multiple nights or maybe a relationship, due to the long stretches of loneliness and due to the weird sexual expectations that arose during said long stretches of nothingness, I felt so weird and ashamed of myself, that I turned down further invitations and couldn’t bring myself to talk to them. Basically, from their perspective, I had sex with them, than I disappeared in the ether. I have managed to show myself in a successful a-hole kind a way, while I felt like the most unlucky, ugly and talentless piece of shit (now that’s what I call “an achievement”).

Despite the fact that I found myself highly repulsive for a long time, hiding behind sunglasses and foundation I had enough self confidence to let woman try. And boy oh boy, they did try. Those who were more desperate were more determined, while those who had multiple choices open had a look, maybe had some fun and than left seeing the vast cluster of insecurities behind the sketchy façade that looked enticing from a distance, but fell apart upon closer inspection. People told me that I was good looking and I should have a girlfriend and I truly believed for years that they were only saying this to save face. Now, looking back, I’m starting to realize that I’m not ugly, I might even be good looking by some metrics. This realization came as the memory lane of old pictures was revisited again and again. Upon closer inspection all the woman around me, hugging me, giving me kisses on photos became evident. It is one thing that I couldn’t capitalize on any of that, but I realized, how lucky am I that genetics favoured me. Elsewise, if the gene pool wouldn’t have been kind to me at least in this department, I would be the most neglected man, considering my social and dating skills. Or the lack thereof, to be more precise. One thing to be grateful for.

Before this realization occurred, I shit you not, I had to realize first, that the policy I applied after I broke up with my first girlfriend was seriously affecting me. It was like one of those cases, when a temporary workaround is put in place for something, everyone forgets about it, than it causes a major shitstorm in the long run when something breaks down the line, messing up a forgotten but needed dependency. Before this realization life went by casually in a perfect state of cognitive dissonance, by not willing to open up for anyone, not willing to pay attention to anyone’s feelings and yet craving intimacy and blaming the world for not providing any.

So ok, during the time it took for the realization to kick in some amazing woman drifted away. ”What do you do now, you dumb fucking bitch?” - asks one part of the brain. “Well, you stand up, use less swearwords, or edit them out later and keep moving on hoping that each failure at least landed some useful experience points that can be used as a solid base for improvement.” - says the other. So this is how the journey of relationship 101 and emotion handling begun.

Phase 1. Trying to establish a relationship, but being emotionally unavailable.

There’s was a girl who added me on facebook after after a party and somehow I managed to puzzle the picture together. She was there, she saw me playing music, she liked me and she tried to reach out. We have started talking, we have started going out and we kept going out without me doing any advances for 3 moths, when she finally had enough and invited me over to her place to watch Narcos. That night was followed by a relationship that lasted approx two months when she kicked me out, calling me insensitive and unable to care for her emotionally. She was totally right.

Moving on, I drop a comment on some meme posted by one of the girls I met at the University a few years ago. She replies to my comment, I reply to hers, the discussion moves to chat. After a couple of days she tells me that she is coming home from abroad and we shall meet. I agree. The meeting happens, other things happen, we get along really well, meet two more times and consider ourselves to be in a long distance relationship. She’s very enthusiastic, wants to communicate with me, she’s being cute and I’m still 100% emotionally unavailable. When I finally decide to visit her, after dragging the topic for months, she cuts me loose. Rightfully so. Off course, I delete her from social media, and decide that whatever, I’ll make enough money so someone will stay with me for that, even if I’m an emotional iceberg laced with titanium (un-fucking-penetrable). What an utterly crappy response to being rejected, says captain hindsight.

Phase 2. Overflow.

Next up, wasted on party (but in a mildly good way) and another girl who remembers me from a festival that took place years ago initiates a conversation and I end up hanging out with her and all of her girlfriends. We party, we talk, we decide to go to an after at their place. Due to administrative reasons when I get there only one of them is there, so we start talking. Meanwhile people are arriving, chemicals are wearing off and kicking in, dynamics change. Finally everyone gives in and we sleep together. The next day (because the next days always counts from the moment when you wake up) we talk, have a long walk, I unload a mental excel of pros and cons about myself to her since honesty can only be good (later on my psychologist tells me the contrary, since what I do is scary and things should be let to unravel by themselves) and I leave town. After my short city break is over we decide to meet and she’s over at my place before I could blink. We start hanging out more and more. Even If I have the tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again, just to be sure that they are mistakes and I have mastered the recipe, this time I knew that I have to open myself up. The theoretical part was ok, as the plan was to move slowly and open myself up step by step over an extended period of time. Unfortunately the gap between theory and practice sometimes can accommodate a few light years in between, so all of the emotions that I managed to bottle up over the years managed to get out after only a few careful steps. She had her own problems, I had mine and they didn’t make a good combination, but a rather unfortunate one. Disregarding the fact that I have tried to invest emotionally, I still couldn’t care for her emotional needs. The whole thing blew up in my face, basically. Being blind to anything that is less obvious than she suddenly turning to me in the middle of the night and saying, “I have to go home”, and having the alarm of something is not right going off is not the hallmark of being ready for a relationship. Another part of the lecture was that revealing rating systems to woman about woman is a double edged ice cream that mostly licks back instead of being licked. For those who don’t view the world from an engineering / mathematical (call it as you fancy) perspective, there are people out there who measure and categorize everything. This in a relation means that the relevant parameters like, looks, intelligence (or the lack thereof), like mindedness, biological match, size of the cultural gap (if applies), financial and social situation are all measured on a scale and the weighted average tells if the other person is a match or not, and how good a match it is. Unfolding this information in my situation turned out to be a major no-no. Based on the very narrow sample, I was convinced that this is how it is and I should never again reveal my rating system ever again. Luckily, lately a friend of mine told me that his girlfriend appreciated this kind of approach, so the analytics based way of thinking is not my mental dead end, only it has to be used after a lot of observation and in the right situation with the right people as the “target audience” seems to be quite small. By the time we got to the point of me revealing my rating system, red flags were flying all over. Thing is red flags are easy to miss even with experience not to mention barely having any. When you add that up to the fact that you need a planetary alignment that occurs every 5000 years to be able to get close to someone, you also finally manage to let your guard down and you know that giving up on things is generally considered bad and dedication is king, those red flags are rendered inexistent in the quantum soup of thoughts. All of the above combined leads to the materialization of one very specific dynamic in attachment theory, where the anxious one is trying to get closer and to invest more in general, while the avoidant is getting further and further away, creating a situation where both feel frustrated. Fast forward a little (as the whole thing lasted two months), she cuts me loose and I have no clue how to deal with the tsunami of the emotions that are now very much on the surface and the pink cloud that acted as a distraction is gone and the withdrawal starts to kick in. A downward spiral begins that ends with being so desperate to escape the sensation of a panic attack being one mental “block” away that I start taking random meds and drinking, because at one point they have to override my emotions. I don’t want to kill myself per se, but I made peace with the thought that if I need to die to escape that state of mind, I’m fine with it.

Luckily since I’m an attention whore, I’m not doing this in total silence and even if I’m not being totally upfront about it, my friends and people who are not my friends but are nice people and just care realize that something is off and rush in to help. Their intentions are really good, however, most of them are not experts and just share their best practices. Five or six best practices in, one is confused as fekk. This confusion is that finally pushes me through the barrier to seek professional help. Luck was by my side as I found a psychologist I could work with from the get go. As we were moving forward with therapy I was still trying to resuscitate a very dead relationship. The contrast between my interactions with the therapist and my ex were miles apart. While I was still rowing the waters “make her feel sorry for me” and told her how I tried to get my overboiling emotions in check, scaring her tremendously, creating a mess of emotions for both of us, the how's and whys and the to-dos were very clear during therapy. At one point the psychologist said that “You see the situation very clearly, you are also very conscious about what you did and what are the possible ramifications of your actions and you also have a plan as to how to fix them, why are you here?” My answer was simple: “While I’m in a state of rest, where I’m not being cornered by my own emotions all is clear, however, once shit hits the fan, all of the logic that was nicely put together goes out of the window and I start acting borderline crazy”.

As the therapy sessions flew by and the links to my ex started to fade, things ere starting to stabilize. All that was left is what I call “light general depression”. Light general depression is exactly what its name stands for. It doesn’t contain joy (apart from chain-smoking, watching tons of YouTube videos about video games and cars, binge eating pizza and ice cream and drinking herculean amounts of rum), existing feels bad and pointless, but it is not terrible, there are no big ups and downs and existence in this state can go on for extended periods time. As one of these days passed by as experienced from the warm hug of an unnecessarily long bath I randomly texted a friend to see what is she up to. She was hanging out by herself, drinking and asked me if I wanted to join, so I did. By the time I got there another woman was at the table. Nothing special, we introduced ourselves and carried on drinking. I did not find this new addition to my pool of acquaintances physically attractive, that under normal circumstances could have been a trigger, however she was very intriguing. As the alcohol levels in our blood gained an ever larger foothold, the discussion suddenly turned into one of those that go down the rabbit hole of serious emotions and life experiences. I love these discussions (hence the experience, wink wink), they are the bread and butter of why am I socializing. It is almost pointless to say that as the discussion turned into the two of us going on a philosophical rampage about depression and explaining the how’s and why’s to anyone around us the spark went off. Finally, as the night came to a close and everyone said their goodbyes only the two of us were left walking the through the streets bursting with nightlife telling more and more intimate stories about ourselves. As we reached her place and said goodbye I got stuck in the mental loop of what to do after a meeting and discussion like this. Luckily she promptly bypassed the situation by shaking my hand and telling me something along the lines of “till next time”. The next day the temptation was simply irresistible not to stalk her online. By the time I got a glimpse of her through her profile her friend request already landed safely.

She left town for a few weeks (if I’d be religious or into spiritual stuff, I’d say there’s a link to the previous relationship, luckily I am not, life is just hugely random), but we agreed that I would take her to party when she comes back, since she haven’t been to one since her son was born. Meanwhile I also found out that she had what she described as a “sort of boyfriend”. While all of this was unravelling my brain dripping with curiosity kicked me into higher and higher gears as my taste of the unusual and complicated got ever more triggered. Finally the day of the party came and it was the best party I ever attended where I didn’t like the music at all. We really connected. Looking back at that level of connection, I couldn’t tell if we were really alike in some terms and hugely different in others, or she is just simply darn good at showing what people would like to see. A few days later she invited me to watch a movie, we watched the whole movie without me totally being unable to do any advances, again, unless we finally decided to sleep. Things happened. That night was the starting point of a journey that lasted 7 months and included lots of love, lots of desperation, living together with ex boyfriends, handling a spoiled 4 year old boy, discussing and trying to come to terms with a father that got lost in the ether, lots of calculated action combined with a shit-ton of impulsivity and lot more. What I learned in this relationship about trauma, falling victim of compensating for trauma, overusing resources without considering the future, keeping something useless and counterproductive in your life just because it makes you feel superior, utterly useless - clueless and spoiled people, the consequences of being inconsistent in a child’s education hopefully could fill pages on its own, If I managed to learn something. All of this is still just scratching the surface. The full and detailed version of said list serves material for more writings as this paragraph could go on for dozens of pages, but it won’t to avoid further side-tracking. Also, some of these lessons still need processing time for the sake of being able to paint a picture that is more accurate rather than soaked with emotions. What is certain is that at least one writing (if not more) about overprotective parents running the risk of handicapping their children, involuntary hostage taking and kindness as a useless perk if not accompanied by other skills will come at one point. With the this pitch out of the way, let’s get back to the relationship itself. To put it simply, there was this man, dressed in black from head to toe, wearing black nail polish occasionally, being a strong proponent for nihilism and putting himself at risk for the excitement of being exposed to risk while also testing all sorts of limits because an “engineer” has to know the limits, right? During the course of a few months this man had a child seat in the back of his car, learned how to micromanage educational failures by measuring, not just feeling and truly cared for the wellbeing of a few people. He had the impression that he found his place in a world where he previously tried to fill the void by proving the pointlessness of life through reckless (and very fun) activities. Thrusters were set to 110% as the pink fog of “this is it, we have to commit and do this” descended on the brain cells locked in a hormone fuelled frenzy. Finally I experienced a Christmas where I felt happy and loved instead of trying to avoid conflict and hating the world in general.

While I was working on getting myself involved in a hot, crazy mess, thrusters 110% on, I happened to stay at my former flatmate’s parents for two days. I love going there, not just because it served as a perfect base for a weekend of partying, but it is one of those places where a family functions in a symbiosis, not co-dependence. Very-very-very fucking important difference. I love to see how people interact with one another when the main driving force is not fear, but understanding, where attachment comes from the light, not darkness. Even now it makes me to slightly tear up to know, that family can be good, not something to avoid as much as possible, if handled properly. Sights like these give hope. Anyhow, before this detour gets too big, I had good chat with my ex flatmate’s mom where she told me “Kado, don’t look for woman who fit you best, look for someone simple who is capable to learn”. Objectively speaking, this was the best advice I ever received about dating. Worry not, this will not be left unexplained, jut not right now.

So with this advice in mind, the weekend ended and the quest of getting myself deeper into the murky waters of chronic co-dependence was back. As the first few months of the relation flew by and we went from low profile affair to we’re together now and everyone should know about it, more and more details emerged of an ex that could only commit to a relationship when the imminent loss of her partner is present. It also became clear that his incompetence serves as his major attraction, since a man that is kind, but lacks any purpose and logic to derive any said purpose is highly desirable for an ego that cherishes being superior. It became evident how this dynamic eroded seven or so years of the than “woman of my dreams” into a quagmire. My nativity was strong enough to redirect the previously mentioned thrusters to pull her out of the quagmire by the power of micromanagement. The end result hovering in the distance was that my help could propel her to regain traction. As soon as she will be in a better place and I can get just a bit more of those tiny glimpses of her former happy self, we’ll be on track to create what we referred to as a “power couple”. However, one thing that flew under my radar and finally led to the demise of this premise was an important conclusion drawn after years of being a cog in the corporate machine. Never give 100%, maybe at the beginning, but not even then. Not to talk about 110%, as no person can operate on those levels for months on end, unless driven by amphetamines or coke, but that will take an even higher price in the longer run. If one still decides to go down this path, burnout will be just around the corner. When said burnout meets with someone who needs therapy rather than relationships, shit will go down. Empathy will run out after the same mistake leads to the same crisis for the zillionth time, emotional attachment generates fear in conjunction with each re-occurring crisis and “the you shouldn’t do this, you should do that” tone prevails. The thing is, if I look at my ability to get very cruel, cold and calculating when feeling emotionally cornered as gift or as a curse, it doesn’t matter, it still happens. Detailing to a mother how others managed to solve something with relative ease that she couldn’t or barely could and that she should do this and that, in that situation is a major no-no. I think when it comes about parenting, egos flight higher than Icarus. As one of the cornerstones of empathy is to try to put yourself in the shoes of others, I tired imagining how it could feel like if someone, dunnoh, attacked me because I can’t do maths for shit, or that I have a tendency to abandon my plans. In conclusion, the grey matter sitting inside this skull that is producing these lines might just feel comfortable when it comes to shedding ego. Whit our dynamics auto optimizing themselves to counteract one another in a pretty toxic way, the inevitable happened. We agreed that we can’t understand one another no more, therefore it was time to break up.

In order to minimize the pain a full communication lockdown went in effect to add another twist to the Covid-19 lockdown. This combined with making a few new friends while doubling down on substance abuse spiced with getting into relapse territory with other woman got me ticking along. I think it is pointless to say that this mechanism used for calming emotions wasn’t the best. First, natural coping mechanisms were obliterated even before getting a theoretical shape, not to talk about trying them and maybe getting some experience, second, these coping mechanisms took their own toll on my body and psyche and third, they crumbled in the very moment when my ex reached out to me to normalize our relation as two human beings who happen to know one another. It only took a few hours for the stream of emotions to turn into whirlpool of anger and darkness where my criminal mind flourishes. And boy do I have a criminal mind. When the going gets rough it isn’t like I can’t control myself and start shouting, and throwing things around. No-no, it’s not like that at all, but it is like making plans, evil plans, plans that would make a drug cartel hitman nod in approval. The way these “solutions” from the dark end of the spectrum interact with checks and balances look like: “what I would say of a totally unrelated person who does that” or “what were the consequences if my plans were revealed and such”. This time, all these impulses distilled in ever more frequent and strategic use of creating constructive ambiguity by selectively revealing secrets and manipulation. The cherry on the top was put in place when she reached out to me when she tried to re-establish post breakup communication, consisting in grabbing all sorts of dark echoes that race through my mind, amplifying them and revealing them to her in order to make sure that she’ll be convinced that I’m a horrible, dangerous and aggressive person underneath, therefore she’ll never attempt to communicate with me, ever. It wasn’t nice, at all, but it was violence free apart from me running my mouth and it worked, for a while.

So far so good, the plan worked great. I made friends with new people, both offline and online and I had a few who were interested in me and maybe still are (as you might have noticed so far, can’t really tell). The plan was to get some mileage into the game and get more experience points and to learn, for which diversity is essential. There was a week where I had 4 dates, with 2 happening on the very same day. Result? Let’s not call it a total fucking bummer, but let’s go with a “valuable lesson”, ok? Why? One person stood out and everybody else faded into the shadows of absolute zero interest.

People who intrigue me are the ones that I feel a longing for. These are the people who have my instant and unconditional support as soon as they ask, these are the people I’m paying attention to and these are the people that I use as examples to follow in certain walks of life. So, there was one date who stood out and baaam, just like that, interest for anyone else vanished like lines from a broken phone screen at a rave. This one person turned out to be someone who exploits life just as I do, or even to a greater extent when the conditions are set. She likes adrenaline, playing around with thoughts not being afraid to be cut by some rough edges, going fast, views substances as mere tools, not like something good or bad and last but not least, she is the best looking, besides ticking a few other boxes. Did all the positives yielded a relationship or even a one night stand? Absolutely not. Was this a problem? Maybe from the perspective of my reproductive instincts, but from any other perspectives, it was interesting at worst and beneficiary at best. There are a bunch of people who tell good and bad Tinder date stories, however I haven’t heard a single one up to date that could match the level of renovate a bathroom on a tinder date. The bathroom turned out to be something both of us are showing with pride and I have learned about the ins and outs of tiling. It was also refreshing to see when a relationship between two people is based more in rational thinking than dragged by emotions, as it was the perfect contrast for my ex girlfriend who basically managed to turn a life of success into a quagmire by giving the executive powers to her unhinged emotions.

What have we learned?

When a bunch of things fail to be turned into happy factories, let it be hedonism, creativity, hard work, sport or other kinds of hobbies, all kick in the feeling of “geez, I did that, but the I have to get to the next level to evade boredom and constantly levelling up is hard work” so doing literally anything gets turned into a chore. Shitting and washing ass can feel like a chore, just like hanging out with friends can so one inevitably pulls out the good old question of “is my brain just unable to make the happy stuff and if so, what’s the purpose of living?”. After talking with quite a few people who contemplated suicide, or people who lost a loved one to suicide, one thing was clear from the get go, I will not hang myself. Based on the frequency of suicide by hanging I can only conclude that people either have a huge imbalance between being emotionally driven or just simply being very sick and incapable of any rational thought. Why? Death by suffocation combined with the rupture of the spinal cord sounds like the worst thing ever. On the other hand, driving into a solid concrete wall at any speed near 100 km/h is guaranteed death. Driving into a solid wall at 200 km/h is massive overkill and it could be proven as an accident which could make lives for relatives easier if tricky life insurance policies are in place. Finances aside, there are other policies in place for reasons like seeing the misery of those who get left behind to live and let all the people who I consider idiots to outlive me. Like seriously, if some have been labelled as idiots by some metrics of mine and they outlive me, it means that my metrics and the logic based on those metrics was flawed, proven by my very demise.

So yea, what do you do when relationships don’t work out, you can’t seem to obtain them and self destruction is also off the table? Well, since we’re all caged to some degree due to the pandemic and I already raised my alcohol tolerance to stellar levels, it was the damn time to get myself busy. To really dig into my job and to force myself to do tasks that I have just passed to someone saying I can’t hack it, to start reading stuff, to start learning stuff to start exercising and most important of all, to create routines. Routines are awesome. If nothing makes sense, at least that nothing is done on a regular basis and the very fact that nothing amounts to anything if done on a daily basis is kind of a feet and gives a chance to dopamine production.

I have also learned that having sex after a hiatus of 10 months doesn’t improve things as much as I thought, which is good, because it also means that things do not degrade a lot from prolonged abstinence.

Where to now? I guess I’ll just try focusing on myself rather than trying to please others by forcing myself into the “normie puzzle”. I’ll leave myself open for options, since it would be rather counterproductive to Sméagol hiss away anyone who tries to approach me, but it might happen nonetheless.

And one last bit before I cut this writing short at the 11th or so page... If you’re interested in me, do something. Playing the get hard card just plain simply won’t work. If I don’t get any feedback like in a 50-50 distribution style I’ll feel discouraged and move on. I’m also plain stupid when it comes to decoding slight hints (as I’ve hinted at multiple times in this text). Be blunt about it, otherwise it might go totally unnoticed. Last but not least, if you’re not interested, please don’t fekking smile at me and more importantly don’t touch me. I know, theoretically that people can be nice with one another without wanting more, but it doesn’t work for me. If you do that, I’ll reach out to spend more time together, you’ll gonna reject me and I’m going to throw you on the pile failed attempts that is getting ever more poisonous and has a high chance of totally wrecking my mood by the time someone genuinely interested would come about.

I might also try to get more disciplined since it took me more than five months to throw up these characters. I sincerely hope that I wasted your time in a way that some part of what I wrote resonates with you, maybe helps you or you found it amusing at least. Peace out.

Update: some things have changed since I wrote this piece, I got new pieces of information and the story of my craziest adventure got a healthy boost. However, if I were to re-write and edit this text in accordance to all those things, it is highly possible that it would never come out. As one of my favourite hot rod builder puts it “Lower your expectations until you reach your goals”.

#relationships #depression #learning #development #desperatio #hope #lessons

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spideyxchelle · 7 years ago

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I know you've been taking a break from headcanons so please feel free to ignore this. Michelle and Peter decide to be mature adults and break up before college only they're doing it wrong. They should probably stop texting all the time, maybe notice when someone is trying to flirt with you, and they should definitely stop sleeping together. This is not what breaking up looks like.

hey friends, i have been taking a break from headcanons but this one spoke to my angsty ass. i did go a little off the rails with the prompt here. it just went in a different direction. sorry! here, have some angsty angst with some feelings.

there is something haunting about seeing Harvard and MIT acceptance letters in bold next to each other. its in ink that peter and mj won’t be in the same place for school. sure, its they’re both in Cambridge and TECHNICALLY they could make it work, their relationship, but their paths are diverging. they can’t deny that. they will have two different peer groups, new friends, a new place that is devoid of the other.

peter is the one that suggests they let each other go. its the mature thing to do, he reasons. and the ice pick driving through michelle’s heart numbs her enough to agree.

they spend the last summer before they go off to college making the most of a summer romance. every moment and every kiss burned into the wasteful memories of teenagers.

and then, as swiftly as they embraced, they are tearing themselves apart, packing up for Cambridge and acting as good as strangers.

the first month of school is a lot of stimuli. noises, smells, foods, one-night-stands. its the heady rush of college that everyone had warned them about. and for this first month they don’t talk or text or even think about each other.

and then, facebook pops up a memory on peter’s feed. its a picture from September of his senior year of high school. michelle is burying a kiss in his neck and he’s smiling so broadly his lips look on the verge of splitting.

he picks up his phone and texts her: u up? he watches his phone for thirty minutes before he tosses to the end of his bed. because this is dumb. he’s a mature adult now. and they made a deal. they promised each other. and he’s not gonna be the asshole making shit compli-

yea, she replies. he scribbles back a response, how’s school? and he feels so lame for making small talk. this is mj. and they are better friends than small talk. but its been a month without her. and he realizes he misses hearing about her day.

so they start to talk that night. about school. catching each other up on all of the nonsense happening at their respective schools. they text and text and text until sunshine peaks his data acquisition class yawning like mad. he barely manages to be productive for the rest of the day.

which, of course, he has to text her that he blames her for. she sends him a picture of her own tired expression and the middle finger. he immediately saves the picture.

that is how they get in the rhythm of texting. and even though they are only a train ride away from each other at best they keep their new text-friendship restricted to over the phone.

peter goes to parties, he assumes she does as well. and he meets people. beautiful people. who think he’s smart and charming and take him home. after, he always texts mj and asks about her day. texting mj is always way more satisfying than the weird blips in random people’s beds.

when they go back down to new york for thanksgiving break that is the first time he sees mj. and, fuck, she’s beautiful. it smacks him in the face. all of their high school friends gather together at Ned’s house for a catch-up party. and peter falls into his normal seat next to her. and the normal rhythm of his hand on her knee. if she’s bothered by it she doesn’t say. in fact, he even catches the quirk of a smile teasing at the corners of her mouth.

after, he offers walking her home. cuz he’s a superhero and new york is a dangerous city. she rolls her eyes but lets him walk her home. and only when they are alone does it start to feel awkward. its been months, since august, since they’ve seen each other. and texting every day is not the same as in-person talking.

mj speaks first. “i missed you.” he’s so startled he nearly trips down the sidewalk. “you do?” he asks. she nods and ducks her face to the left to avoid his eyes. “i, uh,” he tries, “missed you, too. miss you. present tense.” “present tense?” she drawls. he nods, “i don’t want you to think that i missed you for like a minute and then got over it once school started. like, no. i miss you, uh, every minute i’m not with you.” she licks her lips and her pupils are so dilated her eyes look almost black. his pants feel tight at the heat of her gaze. she grabs his hand and the flesh-to-flesh contact shocks him, but not as much as her next question, “you wanna get out of here?” he nods. because, fuck, he really, really does.

they stumble into her parent’s apartment with laughter pressed between their kisses. he reaches for every inch of skin denied to him for months and she loses her mind.

peter pulls out of their kiss enough to rest his forehead against hers. he pants, “what does this mean?” she smashes an impatient kiss against his lips, “less talking, parker.” he hoists her up around his waist and drops a nippy kiss on her neck, “i thought you liked when i talked to you during this.” “that’s different,” she runs her shaky hands through his hair. and that’s the last words exchanged between them. well, except the filthy words he growls in her ear.

after, she silently dresses in his shirt and her jeans. an old tradition of theirs. a cute way to collect his clothes. and one he never fought much. her in his MIT shirt now though made his chest quake with worry. “Em,” he tries. but she shakes her head, “you decided you didn’t want to try, peter. and, honestly, it was a good call.” “a good call,” he repeats, hollow.

like that, its over. back to the status quo.

texting back at school. not seeing each other. and, for peter, missing her like a phantom pain. some nights after michelle goes to sleep, he rolls over in his wildly uncomfortable twin bed and curses his stupid self for thinking that he could cut her out of his life as easily as he had presumed.

he sits up halfway through February and calls tony. his mentor grumbles into the line, “what is it, parker? the suit acting up?” peter tugs his knees into his chest, “no.” there is a long stretch of silence between them on the phone before tony asks, “are you okay?” “i’m sorry,” peter blurts out, “i don’t have anyone else to talk to or, well, you know, ben and my dad aren’t exactly around to talk to, i mean.” it costs peter something to admit to tony that he doesn’t have any other strong male figures in his life to talk to beyond him. its ridiculous. his father figure is a freakin’ superhero. and his problems are so minuscule next to saving the world. tony clears his throat, “what is it, kid?” and just like that peter tells him everything. about missing mj, feeling like he made a terrible mistake and being unsure of how to fix it. tony patiently listens and then gives him one line of advice, “some complaining to me and go and get your girl, parker.”

he trips out of his bed at the speed he tries to get out the door. he is still pulling up his jeans as he hops down the hall. he runs to the train. its a ten minute train ride and the fact that she’s so close is not lost on him. he’s been so stupid.

he knocks on her door and she opens it to great confusion. there is a beat, a gaze and then, a profound surge of feeling between them. peter steps forward and kisses her. she makes the softest, most profound noise at the back of her throat.

he trails her back into her room. “peter,” she sighs, “peter, wait.” he shakes his head and clings to her forearms to steady his pounding heart. michelle guides his hands off of her arms and turns her back to him. he fights the urge to reach for her. “mj,” he shatters. “no,” she shakes her head, “you wanted this. you did this. i had no say. i had no-,” her voice breaks, “you don’t get to just decide you want me again. because what if you decide you don’t want me again? i-i don’t want to play this game. it’s painful.”

“i’m a shit,” he steps toward her, “and so, so stupid. i thought i was making college easier for us. giving a chance to, i don’t know, try something new. but damn it, Em. i wake up every morning and think about you. i spend every night dreading when you inevitably fall asleep because then i can’t talk to anymore. what do you want me to do about that?” “live with it,” she snarls, “i had to.” “how can you even say that?” he exhales. “i’m not playing this game with you.” “this isn’t a game!” he roughs out. she shouts back, “then why do you get to make all the rules??”

he stumbles backward two steps, “i shouldn’t have come.” “no,” she agrees, “you shouldn’t have.” her words cut him down. his heart bleeds for her and for them and for every moment he screwed them over. “Em-” he swallows.

she blinks back tears, “don’t call me that.” she brushes past him and throws open the door, waiting for him to walk out of it. he gives her once last lingering look, hoping, until he chokes on his pride and leaves.

they don’t talk again until april. and every week that rushes past without her in it, for peter, is like a flash of unimportant moments. he gets uninspired and lazy during patrol. which is why he gets in a horrible, horrible accident.

when he wakes up in the upstate facility, mj is there clinging to his hand. he blinks the pain away and tries to focus on his surroundings. he wonders, briefly, if he is dreaming her there. his voice is scratchy from the lack of use, “Em-?”

her head snaps up and he sees her cheeks wet with tears. “god damn you, peter parker,” is the first thing she says to him after three months of radio silence. it feels apt. “next time,” she plows on, “you decide to take on aliens without back-up….don’t.” “did i stop them?” he sniffs. she rolls her eyes, “you spectacular idiot.” she leans forward and presses the sweetest kiss to his dry mouth.

his eyes widen in shock, “i-” she shushes him, “don’t speak. you need to drink some fluids and rest. we can talk about it later. we have time.” he shakes his head, “now.” she sucks in an impatient breath, “no. i’m making the rules this time. got it?” maybe its the concussion that is making him so confused and light-headed, but he grins, “this time? we get a this time?” she shrugs, “who else is gonna keep you from making stupid, rash decisions, superhero? you’re a full time job, peter parker.”

he wants to tell her he loves her. he wants to grab her face and kiss her senseless. he wants so much to have a dazzling moment of getting back together. but the reality is so much less epic: him in a hospital bed, nursing a concussion and mj calling him an idiot.

and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

#headcanon ask

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11tumbler · 7 years ago

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Mystery at Bayer Manor 10

Jeffrey comes into the parlour. He and Claudia set up 7 tables for them. “On the desks are books that contain pictures, puzzles and questions. You must solve each page, call Claudia or me over to check then you are permitted to grab a symbol chip.“ Jeffrey holds up the discs with the symbols painted on them. “You will then decide what secret passage door to go to and see if your symbol matches. If it does hold it up so the cameras can see and the door will be opened for you. If not come back here and you will need to solve another puzzle, get another chip and so on. Hold on to all your chips because you might see a door that has a symbol you previously pulled. All of the bedrooms are also open so remember to check those doors too.” This was like memory, you had to remember where you saw the doors with the symbols you had. “Whoever discovers the whereabouts of Tyler first will get a fact about each guest.”

Everyone stands at their desks. They all start. Lisle and Benjamin find the missing object in their pictures first and they get chips and are off. Kym finds it, digs a chip out of the bag, then she’s off. She tries the library first, it’s a diamond and she has squiggly lines. Back to the desks to solve another puzzle. Robert wasn’t there when she got back, he must have solved his puzzle too. The puzzles get harder as they go. Soon people have enough chips that they are using existing chips to go to doors whose symbols they remember. Each passage that opens has a clue about Tyler’s location or how he died. The game goes on for over an hour. Then Kym hears a scream. “I got it!” Lisle yells.

Everyone makes their way to the library and finds Tyler’s body shoved behind the secret passage. No one could see a visible means of death. Jeffrey comes in. “You all should have the information to determine how Tyler died.” He then hands Lisle a big brown envelope. “This is the bonus information.” Staff come and remove the body. “I guess we will not get an autopsy report,” Brittany says. Then she leans over by Robert, “I was able to get some good information if you want to work together.” He’s so nice about saying no. “Oh thanks, but I need to try to organize the info I got.“ He just walks off towards the parlour. They had about an hour before lunch. Lisle grabbed Kym. “Hey, do you want to see everything in this envelope?” she whispers. “Oh thank you, but you won that. Just keep it to yourself, maybe you can win this.” Robert had gone up to his room. Lisle goes to her room to go through the info. Kym heads outside and sits at the table. Benjamin comes outside also and sits at the table. “Did you want to be alone?” “Oh no you’re fine,” Kym replies. “How do you think the game is going?” “Alright I guess. I was a bit put off at the beginning, but now I feel ok.” “Is that because Robert has been helping you?” “Oh yes, he’s been lovely.” “He seems to really like you.“ Kym was a bit embarrassed by the way he said that. “So…… are the feelings mutual?” Now he was really making her uncomfortable. “Well uhm yes, I mean he’s so nice.” “Yea and rich!” Ben adds. “What do you mean?” Kym asks defensively. “Come on, you didn’t see that Rolex on his wrist. And I’ve seen him on tv before, like MSNBC, he’s the CEO of some big company. Women never fall for guys for all the right reasons.” That upset Kym, “Excuse me?” She gets up and leaves.

Kym heads upstairs, she isn’t sure if she just wants to be alone in her room or talk to Robert. She knocks on Robert’s door. He opens it. “Hey. I was just going to go look for you. I thought you’d be up here a lot sooner.” “Oh I was just sitting outside.” She wants to say more, but stops. “What’s wrong?” Robert asks concerned. Kym wasn’t sure how to approach the subject and unfortunately she just blurted things out. “What kind of watch do you wear?” Robert was confused by the question. “This?” He holds up his wrist, showing her his blue faced DateJust 36 Rolex. “It’s a Rolex? Why?” Kym was so embarrassed to say why. “How much does it cost?” “This watch? I think it was about $10,000.” “10,000 for a watch? Do you have more than one?” “Yea, I have a few, but why?” He reaches out and starts gently rubbing her arm. “What’s with the sudden interest in my watches?” Kym is embarrassed, “When I was outside, Benjamin came over and insinuated that I like you because you’re rich.” Robert laughs, he wraps Kym up in a hug. His arms feel so nice around her. “Don’t pay any attention to what he says. And the fact that you didn’t even know what type of watch I wore tells me everything I need to know.” Kym stays in his embrace. “Do you think that’s why Brittany was hitting on you?” “More than likely.” “I thought it was just because you were good looking.” Robert pulls away from her and laughs, “Well, of course that!” he jokes. Kym laughs at him. “Come here, lets sit down.” They sit on the floor and rest their backs against the bottom of the bed, which had been moved back by staff so everyone could access the secret passages before. “I thought we could go through all the clues we got from the game,” Robert suggests. “You know Lisle offered to share her information with me, but I said no, it would have felt like cheating, she won that fair and square.” “They didn’t say you couldn’t work with someone else, just look at us.” He smiles at her. They start going through the clues, Kym still just had hers in her mind and she hadn’t written anything down yet. Robert spent the past 30 minutes putting everything into his notebook. Kym smiles, he was so easy to talk to, they can hold a good conversation, he makes her laugh and he’s just a really nice guy.

They talk until lunchtime. Lisle, Dave and Betty see them walk out of Robert’s room together. Lisle smirks and Kym just rolls her eyes at her. “I wonder who’s going to die next?” Brittany asks. “I wish we could vote on who we want to go, I think that would be more fun.” Kym was sure Brittany was talking about her, but she didn’t care. “So what kind of information did you get?” Benjamin asks Lisle. “Well now I know your deepest darkest secret,“ she responds staring at Benjamin. She doesn’t say anything else and just lets people think.

#sharkaroo fanfiction #mysterymanor

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airoasis · 5 years ago

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? LIVE Recorded: Gold trade with $20,000 profit in 2 days!

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/%f0%9f%94%b4-live-recorded-gold-trade-with-20000-profit-in-2-days/

? LIVE Recorded: Gold trade with $20,000 profit in 2 days!

Hey, everyone. That is Kei and i just started to file this GOLD forex chart are living. At present is on June 4th of 2019 and looking at some trade chance on this Gold chart. Now, as soon as I look at this chart, i noticed there’s a descending channel line and the rate broke upwards like three days in the past, and its been particularly robust bullish pattern after that and it continues going upwards. After the top and shoulder chart sample here, it went downwards, then it created W backside like chart sample, and it went straight up and the price even broke Ichimoku cloud and continues its bullish momentum.Sorry I forgot to say this but that is daily chart of Gold by the way. So i will seem for a purchase chance as I see this atmosphere. Presently the price looks right at these earlier shoulders stage so it probably resisted here and in all probability goes backwards. Nonetheless, Stochastics indicates now not fairly a just right sign, looks love it doesnt resonate with this atmosphere in daily chart of Gold. Here, it appeared divergence however right now, it gold crossed on the grounds that the price spiked excessive and thats something we can’t predict from this stochastics indicator. Lets seem at 1H chart now. Okay this is 1H chart of GOLD on 4th of June in 2019. And what do we see right here? Its been uptrend on account that may just thirtieth and has been renewing the larger price when you consider that then except the day gone by. The price used to be above Ichimoku cloud, and above relocating typical so folks who purchased at this diminish places, there were no factors to take profit unless today. The stochastics shows its been overbought due to the fact that could thirtieth and displaying inexperienced, which means above 70% for the reason that then, so i will see that this indicator will not be working on this parameter environment.But look whats happening at present. The environment transformed, correct? Absolutely. You will see that the momentum change as the rate doesnt damage latest absolute best anymore and its been making a range at present. The Bollinger Band is squeezing and charging its energy for the following transfer, and Stochastic goes down, so the purchase vigour is presently stopped and the market is watching for a path to interrupt both upwards or downwards. Nonetheless, as we noticed on a every day chart previous, the big principal development continues to be bullish, and for those who appear at the contemporary candle sticks, it indicates pin bar pointing downwards, proper? Which means theres some barrier here that price doesnt wish to go further down. All right, lets appear at 5min chart now.Good enough, this is the 5min chart of GOLD at present on the 4th of June. So, after the robust bullish trend, today it shows a entire variety as you’ll find. The rate goes up and down but latest price action indicates that theres a organization floor right here, like a powerful aid, right here, so let me place purchase, keep on. And location the discontinue loss proper after the order as at all times.. Correct now, the discontinue loss is about 35 or 36 pips down from the place I bought, slightly below the latest lowest. Very well, let me proceed to provide an explanation for whats happening right here. So after the steady bullish pattern until the day before today, today it simply stopped the trend in these days and began to create a variety.Whilst you look at the chart, you should detect these sort of differences seeing that when the momentum alterations, theres consistently a exchange chance. So, I positioned buy right here on the grounds that of, 3 factors. First, the large predominant tend in every day chart is on bullish so i’m looking for some place to buy. And secondly, the present rate level is moderately diminish a part of todays range so my first goal can be right here, making danger, reward ratio to be 1 to love 3, so its a just right cut price sale to me.Also the third cause is the stochastics on account that when you see it, it resonates the fee moves in this 5min chart, like when its gold crossed, it goes up and when its useless crossed, it goes down. So I see that the Stochastics is working on this atmosphere and now, the present rate is beneath 30% level because it suggests in crimson color and its simply gold crossed, so i am anticipating the rate to head up to the fundamental goal. Currently, its about eleven:00pm in Japan and The recoding was once stopped by hook or by crook as i have been just speaking to myself previous. However in any case, looks like i am getting confident outcome now and see whats gonna happen right here. Let me go to a toilet and do some stuff as maintain recoding this video. Wow, did you simply see what happened?? The price spiked up and got here back down. That is undoubtedly by means of some style of important news so i will check it later but for now, let me move the stop loss to fairly above the entry degree.The purpose is on account that every time this sort of surprising movement happens, the fee might spike on either course. So Its at all times trustworthy to comfy the account on this style of situation. You realize, I continually keep one factor in mind, its to not win but not to lose is way more principal seeing that then that you can appear for another chance however when you die, thats it for the sport, correct? Appears like its hitting the SL, yea, it did. Its adequate, i will appear for yet another chance to buy.Its about 1 and a half of hour later from the earlier recording. That is additionally 5min chart but after the cost hit my stop loss, seem how the cost kept going down and marked the recent lowest now. Once I seem at this chart, i spotted one thing, its the price motion. Like if you look at the cost motion earlier than and after the spike, to me, its exclusive. You understand how its distinct? Well, earlier than I give an explanation for, let me situation purchase right here and situation stop loss slightly below the prior lowest, which is about 20 pips beneath my entry. And the first goal stands out as the contemporary very best which is at this stage, so danger reward ratio will be 1 to three, which is a good game to play.Ok, back to the fee action. So you know how the rate motion is extraordinary before and after the spike? Well, when the price was going upwards, it took time. But when it goes backwards to the present rate degree, it didnt take so much time, it got here straight go into reverse. And at any time when the action takes much less time, each time the the cost strikes faster like this, theres a larger hazard that the cost will go to the reverse direction, in this case, going upwards. Ive obvious plenty of chart patterns like that in many forex pairs so thats one of the vital potentialities. Additionally, one other superb factor to look at is the divergence. You see how its developing divergence, where fee goes scale down lows and Stochastic shows cut down highs? That is called divergence and its one of the most signals of trend reverse. So along with the current fee stage thats hitting the latest low, I believe its a exceptional risk to buy here. Now sick let the time go via and see what its going to be. About 1 hour handed from the prior recording and i see some revenue walking.Now its like 1:30am middle of the night in Japan so i will go to bed every time quickly. However the price went above 20 pips from where I placed purchase and currently running about $four,000 of profit. Now its clear that the rate was supported at the contemporary lowest, stochastics is showing divergence, so i’ll transfer the stop loss right above my position in order that I wont wake up with some dangerous feeling with loss reduce day after today, just kidding, its half joking and half actual, however and i am expecting that the fee will go up and i believe it is going to.However we by no means know, in the event you see the fee motion, theres a descending pattern line right here, so it maybe resisted an additional time here would go back down from this present cost and i will get smash even. However its adequate, if thats the case, i’ll appear for a different risk to buy or sell or anything. Hopefully i will show you some good outcomes the next day to come. Until then, have a good night time and sweet dreams! Hey, excellent morning, Ohayougozaimasu! This is at eleven:00am on the 5th of June in Japan time. This morning after I aroused from sleep, I already established with my iPhone that the revenue is running so I simply took a rapid shower, had some breakfast, determine a couple of emails, then recording this video. Like I stated, this is 1H chart of Gold on fifth of June and that is where I purchased the day gone by and currently walking about 50 or 55 pips, walking over $11,000 of revenue. As you will see that, I purchased proper on the bottom of the contemporary lowest, proper on the bottom so i will be able to say that this is a excellent alternate and the alternate was once wonderful and ultimate as risk to reward ratio can be maximized.Now all i will assume is to keep going upwards and notice whats gonna happen. Now, tonight in Japan time, we have ADP employment trade in the united statesand other some monetary information so it might have some volatility then however for now, i’m anticipating the fee to interrupt upwards because the cost remains to be over Ichimoku cloud and Bolinger Band is squeezing so appears like its charging vigor to break on either course. Lets seem at 5min chart and notice extra special cost action. Good enough, it is a 5min chart. I feel this is where I was right here on my earlier recording and do not forget I said the cost would be resisted through this descending pattern line? Absolutely it did as soon as nevertheless it broke out upwards all of the way to the recent highest stage the day past, then it wend down slightly bit like 20 or 30 pips, then the price is in a variety state now.Look at the place the up to date lowest. It suggests like double backside like chart pattern and Stochastics shows divergence. So at this stage, I still see that the pattern remains to be in a bull pattern from this 5min chart. Now its like eleven:10am in Japan and i might be going to Yokohama in these days, the place theres wonderful sea port, park, and China city, so i’ll simply depart like this considering I dont consider the market wont transfer for the duration of Asian time anyhow. I could report to you with the aid of Instagram, Twitter, or facebook even as i am outside, but for now, I have got to get equipped to go. So i’ll see you tonight! Howdy, its Kei and that i just bought back from Yokohama and got here back home.That is 5min chart however seem how the cost stored going up. Its just about like 70 pips and making $33,000 revenue so far. The cost is breaking upwards and maintains its momentum. And stochastics as soon as confirmed over bought because it indicates in green color, but after that, the price still continues going up and appears like its gold crossed simply now. I still situation my discontinue loss at the entry stage so let me transfer it to someplace cheap which is this right below the contemporary lowest which is that this place, ensuring 39 pips, about $7,800 and aim for additional revenue. At this level, threat to reward ratio already is ready 1 to 2 so its already a excellent sport, however lets see how a lot extra i will be able to prolong the revenue. As I recounted earlier, now we have some most important news that would impact the GOLD market, so i will hold paying concentration to it. Ok, 5 hours handed after the previous recording. And once more this is 5min chart of Gold on the 5th of June. Now the price came back downwards and its strong. The volatility is pretty excessive in these days.When you look on the cost action, after it made 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 waves upwards, its developing downward waves of 1, 2, 3, four, 5 waves. And the rate is near the recent lowest right here, the fee possibly supported here and would come again up this way. Let me put Fibonacci here. Yea, if I put the fibonacci retracement between the latest lowest and contemporary absolute best, the rate is right at 61.8% so i’ll move the stop loss, or now that you can name it take revenue line, i will transfer it rather beneath this sixty one.8% degree.Its 102 pips, guaranteeing $20,480 USD and goal for extra revenue. Yes, I think this is quite reasonable to situation the profit line right here because of the fibonacci retracement and help line, and yea, that is good enough for now. If the fee breaks this line downwards, that implies the entire atmosphere has modified so its adequate, i will let the revenue be taken. Howdy, right now, its 1:20am in Japan time in a nighttime and after I opened the chart, I see that the revenue was once taken whilst I was observing some Anime. So, the price was no longer supported at this help line and it simply broke downwards. So the following state of affairs probably either the fee goes up after it reaches the latest lowest, or it continues to break downwards and still continue to create a range in 1H chart. Thats something that no person is aware of and its uncontrollable as you understand. The one thing we can manipulate is where to buy or promote, the place to position discontinue loss and when to take revenue, correct? All of the different things belong to the market and its whatever unpredictable.But today, I took a profit of somewhat over $20,000 so I won the sport and its good enough. And because the history shows, I positioned the purchase at 1302.87 and placed discontinue loss 20 pips beneath if you happen to recollect. And i took revenue at 1331.Eleven so how many pips I did I get? Its about 100 pips proper? So what was the risk reward ratio of the trade? The hazard was 20 pips and i received 100 pips so it was once 1:5 ratio, correct? So i can say that it used to be a lovely exchange. Every time you try to situation orders, consistently, constantly seem for a position the place theres reasonably extra competencies.Dont position an order in a middle of the variety or just with the aid of your instinct, however keep watching for a place that you have more talents like this, then you can make profits out of this zero-sum game in an awfully stable manner. Sincerely, i’m thinking to document a video about chance reward ratio and why its more principal than profitable price, perhaps in the course of this weekend a while, so stay tuned. I will put the hyperlink on the outline beneath so that you could have simpler entry to the video. Okay, i suppose thats it for today. Its nearly like 1:30am right here and Im going to mattress soon, so i will see you on the next video! Before you go away, please press a good button should you liked this video and please subscribe for my future movies.Cheers, bye. .

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batterymonster2021 · 5 years ago

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? LIVE Recorded: Gold trade with $20,000 profit in 2 days!

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/%f0%9f%94%b4-live-recorded-gold-trade-with-20000-profit-in-2-days/

? LIVE Recorded: Gold trade with $20,000 profit in 2 days!

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myotishia · 6 years ago

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Time hopping part four

Fandom: Torchwood. Trigger warnings: None I don't think but tell me if I've missed anything. Characters: Owen Harper (Past and present), Toshiko Sato, Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Elise Carter (oc) Rating: Teen and up Tropes: We’re fixing things right over here.

Blurb: As Elise gets better acquainted with the team Jack is forced to face is past in a more direct manner than he’d like.

The captain listened patiently as Elise recounted the events since she met her Owen, taking in every detail.

“... and now I’m here.”

“Do you know how dangerous what you’re doing is?”

“I do… But wouldn’t you do the same if you had the chance?”

“I shouldn’t let you carry on but knowing Owen that wouldn’t work. From now on just report everything to us and let us deal with it.”

“He tried that once. It didn’t work. I think he’s tried everything over time.”

Jack looked as if the whole thing was starting to give him a headache. “So what do you get out of all this. You’ve told me a lot about Owen but not much about your motives.”

“Me? … It was this or ending it all. And now I’m in too deep. Then again, I don’t think I want to turn back. It’s impossible to go back to normal once a pteranodon had preened your hair.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re certainly something.”

“Being nobody is my superpower at this point.”

“You aren’t nobody.”

“I am and that’s ok. My biggest achievement before all this was reprogramming my roomba and it just ended up humping a lamp. I was born nobody and I’ll die nobody.”

“Elise.”

“Sorry. I shouldn’t talk about myself.”

“You should. You’ve travelled through time, infiltrated one of the most secure places in the world and worked under our radar for some time now.”

“I just wanted to help.” She shrugged.

“Then stay. If you want to help us, then help us.”

“I can’t just abandon Owen. My Owen I mean.”

He sighed and shook his head. “I’m not asking you to. You can still carry on with whatever his plan is just not hopping through time constantly.”

“You just want to keep an eye on me.”

“I’ll be doing that anyway.”

She paused, studying the back of her marked hand. “Did Ianto ever tell you what happened to his girlfriend.”

“It took a week or so but yes. Why?”

“I need to apologize to him.”

“Don’t. Just let it go.”

“But I killed her.”

“No. The cybermen killed her, you just put her body to rest.”

She considered it for a moment but wasn’t convinced.

“Owen says immortality is just suffering. Is it the same for you?”

Jack was taken aback by the sudden question. “Not always… But I’m guessing we aren’t the same kind of immortal.”

“No. He’s dead, just still sentient. He told me he’s been around for eons now. Alone.”

“You said he’s connected telepathically to you. Can you contact him any time?”

“Yes.”

“When my Owen goes home can yours come here?”

“That should be fine I guess.”

It was two am before past Owen was satisfied that Elise would be fine without him there, so he could go home. When the coast was clear future Owen made his way in. Jack watched as a black mist collected and began to solidify into a humanoid figure. It was recognisably Owen but his skin had a sickly pallor and his eyes were much too dark.

“You look…”

“Like shit. I know.”

“I’ve got to admit. I didn’t really believe it was you. I thought it was just something using your face.”

“You always do. The first time I found you after I became a giant dust bunny you tried to trap me.”

“What’s your endgame here?”

“I can’t go out the way I did. I have to change things. Elise… Could you give us a moment?”

Elise, who had been sitting quietly by Owens desk playing with the rubix cube, nodded and headed back towards the autopsy bay, playing music on her phone with some borrowed headphones.

Once she was out of sight Owen continued, speaking quietly. “Each time I stop something happening to my past self it stops existing with my present self. When I stop my past self dying… I think I’ll cease to exist.”

“Is that really what you want?”

“I’ve been here for so long. I’m ready to go.”

“Owen-”

“I know… Promise me two things Jack.”

The captain nodded.

“One, the second gauntlet. Destroy it and forget it ever existed. And two, take care of her. She’s smarter than she thinks she is.”

“I can promise that much.”

“Thank you Jack. I mean it.”

“What happens next then?”

“Your murder addict ex turns up, poisons Gwen and shoots me. Do yourself a favour, take the time watch off his wrist, retcon him into the last century and move on.” Owen stopped suddenly as if there was something else he wasn’t sure he should say.

“Come on, you’ve said this much, what is it?”

“Your brother.”

Jacks eyes widened “How…”

“He’s alive but he’s not your brother anymore. He buries you alive Jack. John rescued him and just ended up a victim like the rest of us. He kills Tosh in cold blood just to make you suffer. I end up trapped in the nuclear plant as it melted down listening to Tosh die of blood loss. I hadn’t been able to feel anything once I died... but I felt myself burn. Please, if you care about us at all…”

“Stop!” Jack pled, tears running down his face.

“I’m sorry.”

Ianto returned from finishing his duties for the night. He’d wanted to keep an eye on Jack after the earlier blowout and thought it was over, at least for now. When he made his way to the main area of the hub he found Jack hunched over, a drink in one hand.

“Jack?”

Jack didn’t look up.

“What’s wrong?” He sat across from the man who, red eyed, finally acknowledged his presence.

“Am I a bad person?”

“No. No, is this about earlier? Owen was just upset.”

“It’s about everything.” He finished his drink in one shot. “I thought I was better than I used to be.”

“Look at me! It doesn’t matter who you used to be, you’re a good man now.” Ianto took the man's hand and looked him right in the eye. “When was the last time you slept?”

“A few days.”

“You might be immortal but you need sleep just like the rest of us. Come on.”

“Are you going to kiss me goodnight?”

“Brush your teeth and I’ll consider it. Whisky breath.”

Back drifting in the dark, facing down the robed figure, Elise was confused. She hadn’t time jumped since being there last. Would this happen each time she slept? No, she couldn’t cope with that, not every night. She awoke with a painful gasp and a swift fall, landing hard on the floor.

“Shit!” She exclaimed, rolling onto her back to try and regain her senses.

“Need a hand?” Asked a figure standing, silhouetted in the light above her.

She took the man's hand and clambered to her feet. “Thanks.”

Ianto quickly checked to see if she’d hit her head or anything serious but she seemed fine, if a little embarrassed. “Coffee?”

“Yes please. You’re Ianto, right?”

“Oh god what’s he told you about me?”

Elise laughed softly. “Nothing bad, though he still calls you tea boy.”

“Some things never change.”

“It’s not malicious or anything.”

“I know. It doesn’t make me want to punch him any less.”

“I’m not getting in the way, am I?”

“Jack gave everyone the morning off, so no.”

“Is he ok? I fell asleep before I could find out what happened.”

Ianto shrugged, not wanting to get into detail. “He’s sleeping. You can relax upstairs while I get that coffee.”

“Sure, thanks.”

Sitting in a soft chair Elise smiled at the sound of Myfanwy stretching her wings and screeching above.

“Milk? Sugar?” Ianto asked, placing down two mugs.

“No thanks. I never have sugar in anything. Too expensive. Then again so’s coffee.”

“Oh?”

“The economy pretty much collapsed when I was little so anything that had to be imported cost a bomb. Add to that the tax on anything too high in sugar, salt or fat and it just wasn’t possible to have on a regular basis.” She picked up her mug and sipped at the coffee, smiling broadly. “Your skills have been sorely underrepresented.”

Ianto chuckled warmly. “So, Owen’s told you about all of us then?”

“Yea.”

“Alright then, quick game.”

“Sure, I’m in.” She said, looking over the rim of her mug.

“Right I’ll start and you finish. Owen is…”

“A bit of a dick but a good doctor and a lot more sensitive than he lets on.”

“Gwen is…”

“A soft heart and worryingly naive but a good investigator.”

“Jack is…”

“A shameless flirt, not as in control as he thinks he is and has a huge weakness for a pretty face.”

“Tosh is…”

Elise blushed a little. “A genius, a sweetheart and the bane of security systems worldwide.”

“I am…”

“Smarter than you let on, a snarky git and a coffee god. How did I do?”

He pretended to think it over, taking a long sip of his drink. “I’d say you won.”

“What prize do I get?” She teased.

“An advance on your first paycheck so you can buy some clothing and necessities. You would have got that either way but now you get the feeling of accomplishment to go with it.”

She sat bolt upright. “Are you serious?”

“Deadly serious.”

“But how, I don’t even exist here yet.”

“Neither does Jack but it's never stopped him before. I took the liberty of opening a bank account for you and Toshiko is in the process of creating a past for you. And you might want this for your phone.” He pulled a sim card from his pocket and handed it over.

“When did you have time to do all this?”

“As the only administrator here I’ve learned to perform miracles.”

Elise finished her drink and placed down the mug. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“Now if everyone else would notice-”

He was cut off by Elise pulling him into a hug.

“The caffeine kicked in then.” he laughed as she pulled away.

She unclipped the back from her phone and swapped the sim cards. “Now all I need is a soldering iron and a few small cables and this baby’ll be as good as new.”

The screen lit up and a slightly crackling tone rang out telling her she had one new message.

Jack leant back in his chair, feeling better than the night before but his newfound knowledge sat heavy on his shoulders. He’d lived most of his life being sure his younger brother was dead and the idea that he was alive but filled with so much hate that it was like losing him all over again. Of course John had to be involved too. His past always seemed to follow him no matter what he did. He needed to ground himself before he started spiralling.

“I gave Elise that sim card.” Said Ianto. He’d been standing there for a little while seeing if Jack was just being his usual odd self but no.

“Is the tracker working?”

“Perfectly.”

“We should go out for dinner.”

“I’ll grab everyone's preferences in a minute.”

“No. I mean you and me. We should go out to dinner.”

“Like a date?”

“Why not?”

Ianto smiled. “Ok then. Yes.”

Elise placed down the bags she’d been carrying.

“I think we went overboard.” she laughed.

Tosh gathered her own shopping bags and tidied them under her chair. “Only a little. Are you having fun?”

“Yea. Thanks for taking me.”

“It’s fine. It’s been fun for me too. We still need to sort out where you’ll be staying until you have your own place.”

“I hadn’t really thought about it to be honest.”

“Well, staying at the hub would get uncomfortable rather quickly. You could stay with me. If you want to I mean… Owen’s picky with how he lives and Gwen has Rhys so it could be a little cramped.”

“Ok.”

“And- wait… Ok?”

“Sure. As long as you don’t mind me waking up the way I do. I’ll try not to scream or anything.”

“No, no it’s fine… I’ll go and order our lunch.” Tosh smiled and walked off, a spring in her step.

I familiar voice crept through Elise’s head. “Having fun?”

“I am actually. How about you?”

“Keeping an eye out for the usual bullshit.”

“Sounds fun. How did the meeting with The Doctor go?”

“Pretty well. I explained the situation and I think he understood. There was nothing he could do for me but I expected that much.”

“That’s good. Sorry I fell asleep before you left last night.”

“Did you have another nightmare?”

“Yea. Past you said that after I woke up from collapsing I was giving off radiation. He said my brain activity showed that the pain I felt in my dream made it react as if it was real.”

There was a long pause.

“Owen? Are you still there.”

“Just take some time to relax. I need to do some research.”

“About what?... Owen?...”

Toshiko sat down across from Elise placing down drinks for both of them. “Daydreaming about anything interesting?”

“I was just chatting to my Owen.”

“So Owen was your agent? How did he get hold of working time travel technology? Jack is always so wary of that kind of thing.”

“I don’t think Jack had much of a hand in it to be honest. Things went off track in his timeline.”

“Does he still remember me?”

“Of course he does. From the way he talks about you he misses you a lot.” Elise sipped her drink. “Cola’s a lot sweeter here than I had.”

“What happened to your hand?” It was the first time Tosh had noticed the pattern of scars, pink and raised, on the back of Elise’s right hand.

“This is my connection to Owen. I don’t mean symbolically or anything. I think whatever he did actually mixed our cells in this pattern so when he time jumps so do I. It’s what lets me speak telepathically with him too.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Not really, though I was hopped up on adrenaline at the time. I kind of like having it now. It’s like a tattoo.”

Tosh reached forward and ran a thumb over the raised skin. “We should look up the symbol.”

Elise intended to answer but found herself just nodding, red in the face and heart pounding.

That night Elise sat at Toshiko's desk with her phone taken apart spread in front of her. She’d smoothed down the case and a fresh layer of resin reflected the light from the lamp above it. Most people, when they go their first Torchwood paycheck, would buy something brand new but Elise wasn’t most people. She bought the small parts to refurbish her phone. The old speaker sat at the bottom of the bin as she connected the new one to the tiny sound card. Toshiko watched fascinated at the miniature computer as it was rebuilt. It was put together the same way a pc would be but on such a small scale that she thought many of the parts shouldn’t work. Then again she saw things that shouldn’t work but did every day. She’d worked them all out eventually.

“Didn’t Ianto think I’d notice the chip on the sim card he gave me?” Elise held up the small card, tilting it in the light to show the indent where something had been painstakingly hidden inside the card itself.

“What?” Tosh asked, having been told nothing.

“It’s ok, just tell me what it does.” she handed over the card.

It only took a moment to recognise the chip, after all she’d developed it. “It’s a tracking device. It uses the phones network connection to send its location back to the hub.”

“Well, Jack did say he’d keep an eye on me.”

“Ely he just-”

“It’s fine. One, there’s nowhere I need to go that you all wouldn’t know about anyway. And two, it can’t track me through time.”

She handed the sim card back. “You’re going to jump again?” The disappointment barely masked in her voice.

“Not unless we really need to. I think what happened last time really shook Owen up.”

“Didn’t it scare you?”

“I hadn’t thought about it. Everything’s been such a rollercoaster ride since that night I think I just haven’t let it sink in. Whatever happens is better than my body being found in the bay.”

“What?! Were you in some kind of trouble?”

“Just desperate. I’ve got things to hold onto now though.” Elise slipped the sim card back into the back of her phone.

Tosh pulled her chair a little closer. “So, did you ever meet any of us from the future?”

“No. I don’t think it was possible.”

“I was dead… Wasn’t I?”

“Sorry, but I won’t let it happen this time. If Owen can fight his way back through time then the least I can do is make sure he succeeded .” She snapped the back of her phone back into place and switched it on. “Let’s see if this worked.”

The phone lit up and, after being unlocked, Elise opened the music application and hit the first song on the playlist. A soft ballad played out, crystal clear and filled the room.

“Fixed. We should get the parts and upgrade everyone's pho-” She was cut off by Tosh turning her head and kissing her.

Future Owen stood in the hub waiting. Jack had sent Elise a message and though he hadn’t gotten a reply Owen had certainly got the idea. His past self had already gone home but, little did future Owen know, Ianto and Gwen had both stayed. They were curious about this shadow of their workmate. As much as they tried to trust Jacks judgement they knew he wasn’t impervious to manipulation.

“He looks like he does on a Monday morning.” Whispered Ianto.

“Even the black cloud?”

“Especially the black cloud.”

“Do you think it’s really him?”

“If it isn’t it’s doing a good impression. I asked Elise what she’d been told about us.”

“And?”

“And it sounded exactly like Owen would describe us. Except Tosh but I think Elise has a crush on her.”

“Do you think she’s everything she says?”

“There’s no record of her anywhere. From the blood sample Owen found almost nothing.”

“Almost?”

“Her and Owen have the same blood type.”

Jack finally made his entrance. “I didn’t think you got my message.”

“Elise was busy. What do you need?”

“I was thinking about what you told me.”

“I’m sorry for lashing out at you.”

“No… No, I needed to hear it. But I need more proof.”

“Fair. Ianto, mind coming out of your little hiding spot? You too Gwen. Two witnesses would be better than one for this.”

The two looked at each other, a little shocked they’d been noticed.

Owen continued. “When you were buried John had a plan. It ended with you in Torchwood hands. Specifically in cryo storage. Until it stops being a possibility your body will still be there. You can’t meet yourself but they can confirm it for you.”

Jack nodded. “Alright. You two ok with that?”

Gwen looked between the captain and the ghoulish reflection of Owen. “If it can prove that all this isn’t a con.”

Owen headed down towards the morgue draws, typing in the code to retrieve Jacks specific draw. A loud metallic grinding echoed before stopping and a draw opened, an icy mist seeping out. Ianto was the first to look and it took a moment for what he was seeing to sink in. Gwen, daring to look, gasped and backed away.

“You were telling the truth.” She breathed.

“I was.”

“Owen. What really happened to you?”

“I died and didn’t completely stay that way.”

Ianto closed the draw and locked it before walking out without another word.

“You should go with him.”

“Owen… I…”

“It’s ok.”

“No it’s not! This is-” She tried to reach for his hand but found herself grasping air, her hand surrounded by the fine black mist.

Owen sighed and looked down, pulling his hand back together. “Did the message I left work?”

“We didn’t do anything. I came to my senses and so did you.”

“Good.”

“In the past did we …?”

“Fuck?”

“Sleep together. Yea.”

“Yes. It shouldn’t have happened and it made things complicated between all of us.” He frowned deeply.

“And Rhys?”

“You told him, then retconned him... You stayed together.”

“All this going back in time and saving people… Thank you for not letting me make a big mistake.”

“You weren’t alone in making mistakes Gwen.”

“I know, but still.”

“Go and tell Jack what you saw then go home. Enjoy the downtime.”

“How long have we got until it gets crazy again?”

“Longer than you’d think. Shorter than you’d like.”

“When did you start on this mysterious thing?”

“I have to cultivate a persona. I’ve got fuck all else left.”

Drifting in the dark again. Elise held her breath, determined not to drown this time. She wasn’t going to let this thing almost kill her every night. The grim figure watched her, circling like a shark. Just looking at it pulled a primal fear from the very depths of her heart and she tried to swim away, fingers going numb and blue the further she went. Her jaw clenched as her lungs screamed for air, muscles spasming in her chest. She couldn’t keep swimming. Her legs had gone numb and her body felt like it was made of stone. The skeletal figure appeared in front of her face.

She awoke with a painful gasp, Toshiko at her side trying to calm her down.

“Ely? Ely! Look at me.” She begged, her arm wrapped around Elise’s back.

Elise coughed and caught her breath, shivering. “I’m ok.”

“You’re freezing. I only went out of the room for a second and-”

“Wait. My coat! Please. Inside pocket.”

Though Tosh was confused she still ran to get Elise’s coat and dug into the inside pocket finding the radiation sponge. The womans panic finally made sense. She couldn’t know if she was throwing off radiation or not.

“It’s ok. See?” Tosh pulled the blanket around her bedmate, holding her hands to warm them up.

“I’m sorry… I can’t do this every night. I thought I could but I…” Shuddered Elise, tears streaming down her face.

“We’ll find a way to stop it. We’ll go in today and find some way. You’re going to be fine.”

Past Owen took a gulp of his coffee, looking through the footage from the night before, trying to catch a glimpse of the thing proclaiming itself to be him. The interference made it impossible but he thought it had been worth a try. Even one clear frame would be enough. When he got nothing he switched to footage of Elise. When she had first entered after the time jump the interference made the footage useless but after a while it settled until only her right hand seemed to cause the distortion. Specifically when he had given her the radiation sponge. It made sense but he worried about the effects on everyone else if the radiation was harmful. He couldn’t even identify it fully.

The sound of the cog door pulled him from his thoughts.

“Morning.”

Tosh threw her bag onto her chair and didn’t sound happy. “Good morning.”

“Does your roommate snore or something?”

“Owen, she woke up this morning freezing.”

“I’d tell you to put the heating on but it looks like you’d slap me.”

“Her lips were turning blue and she was shivering. I only left the room for a moment.”

He sat forward. “Alright, that sounds a bit more serious. Are you sure she hadn’t got cold overnight.”

“Yes Owen I’m sure! She was right next to me the whole time.” Tosh caught herself moments too late.

He smirked. “You two had a fun day off then. Where is she? I’ll see what I can do.”

“She’ll be in in a second. Don’t say anything about … you know.”

He mimed zipping his lips closed.

Owen pulled a chair over to his desk. “Come in to my office.”

Elise sat in the chair provided, the sleeves of her jumper pulled over her hands.

“Looks like it isn’t the time jumping that’s causing your dreams.”

“Apparently not.”

“Tosh told me it happens suddenly so we just have to stop it before then. All we need is for something, or someone,” he shot a glance at Tosh who was giving him a death glare, “to wake you up before that last rem cycle. It doesn’t fix the problem but it’ll limit the damage until we can find a permanent solution.”

“Thanks. “

“It’s what I do. So…”

Tosh looked at him with murder in her eyes.

“I heard that you’ve found your way into my friends bed.”

Elise blushed but smiled. “Maybe you need to up your game then Harper. I’m over here stealing your girl.”

“Tosh, I don’t like this one. You’re going to have to send her back.”

Toshiko’s death glare softened and turned into a smile.

“Sorry, I don’t have a returns policy. Looks like you’re stuck with me.” Elise grinned.

After a peaceful break that allowed Elise to settle in the rift decided it was time to make them earn their keep.

Chasing a anthropomorphic fish in a stolen sports car had not been anyone's first choice of activity on a Friday night, but Torchwood rarely got to choose their cases. It began the same as it had last time except Jack had insisted on driving, much to everyone’s displeasure. Owen sat on the passenger side window, shooting out the stolen cars tyres, Gwen insisting he was showing off. He didn’t argue the point. The SUV skidded to a halt as the fish made a run for it, grabbing a woman who had been drawn out by the commotion. A hostage situation was the last thing anyone needed, especially the hostage. The blowfish, an aptly named creature as he was high as a whole handful of kites, threatened the poor woman with a gun noone was sure he knew how to fire. Little did the amphibious criminal know Elise had split off to sneak around the back of the house, slipping in silently through an open window. Though she couldn’t keep up with the others in a flat running race she’d found her calling in stealth.

The blowfish thought he’d reached a stalemate, his back to a wall, not realising how much space he’d left for anyone to slip round, out of his line of sight. He never saw the shot coming as his body slumped to the floor, light visible through the hole in his head. Gwen moved to comfort the hostage who was clearly in shock.

“When did Earth become an intergalactic drug den?” Asked Elise, handing over the blowfish's weapon.

Jack pushed the creatures body back with his foot, laying it out flat. “It happens every few years.”

“You should see one of these things when they O D.” Owen smiled, dropping a body bag from his shoulder. “They start changing colours. The body ended up being neon pink and green.”

“You find way too much joy in that.” She sighed, shaking her head.

“And for that you get to help me get him into the bag. I’ll grab his feet.”

“Oh come on!” She grumbled, looking down at the creatures head slowly oozing grey matter onto the carpet. She was about to lean down when a familiar voice drifted into her mind.

“Look in his coat. There’s a small pyramid. Don’t activate it, just hand it over to Jack. He’ll know what to do.” Future Owen said softly.

She reached over and found the object.

Past Owen looked up. “The ghost in your head telling you things again?”

“That ghost being you, yes. Jack, I was told you’d know what to do with this.”

Jack took the pyramid and slid it into his pocket. “That time already?”

“Apparently. Looks like he’s told you more than he has me.”

“I’ll go and deal with this.”

Owen looked up from dragging the body into the black bag. “Planning to walk Harkness? He’s already starting to smell like shit so I’m not waiting for you with him.”

“Good point.”

Future Owen waited, watching John carefully in case he decided on a whim to shoot up the place. John could feel that this man was different and it bothered him more than he thought it should. As soon as Jack turned up it would be fine but until then he could feel those dark eye bore into him. No, he’d had enough. John turned and fired what should have been a perfect headshot, causing everyone else in the bar to scatter. Owen’s head bloomed into a spiral of black mist and then reformed, the bullet imbedded in the wall behind him. John fired three more shots before conceding that it was pointless.

“What are you?”

Owen shrugged. “Dead. You?”

“You don’t look dead to me.”

“And you don’t look like a time travelling con man so that’s both of us wrong.”

“How do you know that?” Johns frustration was clear as he slowly closed the gap between them.

“You’re a sorry fucking excuse for a time traveller if you can’t work that out. Let me give you some advice. That pyramid you’re looking for? It doesn’t lead you to a diamond. Hand it over to Grey and move on with your life, unless you want to end up as his slave of course.”

“He wouldn’t-”

“Yes he would. You just can’t see past your own ego to realise it.”

John made a grab for Owen but found himself clutching air. Jack walked in just as the black mist dissipated, seeing John lost in confusion.

He sat at the bar. “Done fighting shadows?”

“Jack!” John turned, the shadow being seemingly forgotten, and moved to pull the captain into a kiss. He found himself blocked by the pyramid in Jacks hand. He took a step back in shock. “How did-”

“How long have I known you?”

“That’s not the point.” He grabbed for the object but Jack pulled it away.

“I’ll give this to you once you’ve answered my questions.”

“Do you always have to be such a tease?”

“I’m not in the mood John.”

“That’s rare. What do you want to know?”

“Grey. You found him.”

“I did. How did you find out?”

“You know how. You met him before I got here. How is my brother?”

“Damaged. I’m doing my best but years of torture can’t be fixed overnight. I’m sorry.”

“No. I am. This pyramid isn’t a map, it’s a bomb. Give it to Grey to open.”

“Are you serious? He’s your brother!”

“My brother died when I was a kid! The man you rescued is a twisted echo using his face.”

“Jack…”

“No! If you ever gave a damn about me, about us, then you take that to him and you let my brother rest!” He ordered, tears welling in his eyes. “For both of us, please.”

John paused, the pyramid settling in his hand. “And if I fail?”

“You won’t.”

John didn’t say another word, he simply opened up the time portal and stepped through, leaving Jack alone. He couldn’t stay for long as sirens came closer.

Elise had ended up helping carry the body bag and her arms were aching. She rolled her shoulders and flopped down in a chair.

“Ready to move on?” Asked future Owen in her mind.

“To what? As long as there’s no heavy lifting I’ll see what I can do.”

“Do you know what a sleeper agent is?”

“Yes, why?”

“We’ve got a few to deal with.”

“When you say deal with…”

“Kill. Yes.”

“Slow down there. Have they been activated yet?”

“No. That’s the point. We aren’t going to let them.”

“Owen, I’m not ok with hurting people who haven’t done anything yet. Can’t we try another way? I can tell everyone and- “

“And they’ll try and stop them activating, fail and have to deal with people exploding.”

“Still.”

“You killed Billis and the blowfish. What’s the difference?”

“They were actively hurting people. I was stopping them killing anyone else.”

“You’ll be doing the same.”

“No, I’ll be killing someone for what they might do. That’s some big brother bullshit.”

“It’s not what they might do. It’s what they will do.”

“Just give me the names and I’ll do my best but I’m not going to start killing just because you tell me to! If I did that I may as well be one of them myself.”

She didn’t get a reply.

“Owen?... Hello?... Fine, ignore me.” She pulled out her phone and sent a message to the team, telling them what she’d been told, deciding to keep his insistence on her action to herself. She didn’t feel right about the situation. Maybe he’d just gotten used to her following orders blindly but the idea of just going out and murdering these people made her feel ill.

“You look like someone just kicked a puppy. What’s up?” Gwen asked, sitting next to her.

“I had an argument with the Owen in my head.”

“Oh? What about?”

“He wants me to take out these sleeper agents before they activate… But until they activate they’re just innocent people aren’t they? They don’t know what they’re going to be made to do.”

“I don’t know the whole story but if it helps I’m on your side. He’s spending the whole time looking back and trying to make the world fit into how he thinks it should go, but the world doesn’t work like that.”

“I wish he would actually talk things through we me instead of just giving orders. It was different when we spoke face to face.”

“You should ask him to meet up then. Help him pull his head out of his arse.”

“Yea. You’re right.”

“We have to do it all the time with our Owen.”

Elise stood in a familiar spot, looking out across the bay, waiting for the man who had saved her life. She was grateful, very much so, but she couldn’t leave her morals behind.

“You wanted to talk.” Owen leant on the railing next to her.

“Owen… I know you think you have everyone's best interests at heart but I have to live with everything I do. I have to be able to face myself after it’s over.”

“Just understand that if you don’t act, that’s on your conscience too.”

“I understand… You seem a lot quicker to jump to killing than your past self.”

“Maybe I lost something over time… Maybe I just want this all to be over as soon as possible.”

“The direct path might always be faster but what’s the point if it means running everyone else over.”

Owen rolled his eyes. “I’ll give you that list of names. Don’t fuck it up.”

With future Owens knowledge of the sleeper agents biology past Owen began devising a way to remove the explosives implanted within each agent. He’d gotten past the natural defence and even managed to suppress the activation temporarily, but he couldn’t seem to separate it from the central nervous system without killing the person or completely removing the arm. To get any further he needed a body to test but that stepped into murky ethical waters. Until he had a test subject everything was theoretical. Elise leant on his desk.

“Your future self will not shut up until I suggest a singularity scalpel. Literally, he hasn’t stopped all morning.”

“He should know that it’s nowhere near ready to be used on anything living. I can barely get it to function at all and when it does I end up having to decontaminate the whole autopsy bay.”

“Show me.”

“No.”

“It’s good for you to take a break. Come on. I promise if something explodes I will do my very best not to throw up.”

“You’re not going to sod off until I do, are you?”

“Nope.”

“Fine.” He said, exasperated, throwing the pen he’d been chewing onto the desk.

She followed cheerily, finally getting a moments peace in her mind.

Owen took the item from storage then grabbed a cup and a piece of paper. He placed the paper ball under the cup.

“If it works then it can destroy the paper without damaging the cup. I’ve worked out how to set the location but there are a few more parameters that I can’t pin down.” He showed her the screen as he tried to set it correctly. The paper was visible on the screen but when the scalpel was activated the paper ball and the bottom of the cup disappeared.

“See?” He grumbled.

“You’re letting something like that beat you?”

He knew she was winding him up but his competitive side could not let it go.

Sixteen cups and an entire stack of paper later Owen was closer but still couldn’t make it work perfectly, plus he couldn’t seem to find a way to change the size of the affected area. It seemed to shift at random.

“Do you think it has a telepathic element?” Asked Elise, putting down the clipboard she’d been using as a shield.

“It must be low level to not show up in scans.”

“Well, it doesn’t need to be much if it’s just deciding on the size and shape of whatever you’re destroying.”

“The amount I’ve practiced it should have linked up just fine by now.”

“Not necessarily. Maybe we need to up the stakes a bit. Get you and it on the same page.” She balled up another piece of paper and covered it with her left hand on the table.

“No. You’re going to lose your fucking hand.”

“Only if you fuck up. Come on, I give my full consent for this experiment.”

“Tosh will kill me if this goes wrong.”

“Then don’t let it. Scenario for you. This paper is a bomb that is moments from going off and taking out half of Cardiff but if I move my hand even a hair it’ll immediately go off.”

“You’re out of your mind.”

“Fifteen seconds.”

“Elise.”

“Thirteen seconds.”

“I’m not go-”

“Eleven.”

He was sure she wouldn’t be this insistent if she didn’t think it would definitely work. She probably had that voice in her head saying it would be fine. But what if it wasn’t. His heart was pounding in his ears, adrenaline charging through his system.

“Five… Come on Owen…. Three… Two…”

He looked down and felt a buzzing in his fingertips, seeing a light halo around the ball of paper then it was gone. It worked. Elise waved her hand and flexed her fingers.

Owen took a deep breath in. “The fuck Elise?! I can’t believe you just made me do that. I can’t believe I just fucking did that.”

“But you did do that, and it worked. It was different that time, right?”

“Yea. He told you it would work didn’t he?”

“No. I just believe in you. You should see your pupils, you look high.”

“So you were just going to let me vaporise your hand?!”

“It worked didn’t it? It wouldn’t if I hadn’t stressed you out. You’re too confident for your own good so I gave you a bit of a push.”

“You are such a bitch!”

“Want to do it again?”

“Yes!”

#Torchwood #gwen cooper #ianto jones #owen harper #jack harkness #toshiko sato

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