#yea i saw this ask and ny first thought was

[mildeleaf]

hiiieee hiiiii have you ever drawn younf zuka

Now i have

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

~so I’m still toying with the idea of Cryptid/Animal!States, so I made a small fic for it and I thought it was kinda cute so here~

⚠️TW⚠️: mentions or references to 9/11, hurt/comfort, FLUFFINESS- so much soft mushy fluffiness, the characters may be OOC, and me over-explaining NY’s animal/cryptid form lmao.

For some "slight" context: NY is some blend of a cat, a blue jay, and LA is a blend of wolf (cuz the Rougarou) and gator (cuz why not-)

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Florida and Louisiana were sitting in the living room together one peaceful evening. Or as peaceful as it could get in the statehouse. Loui laid in Florida’s lap as the taller gently played with his wolf-like ears that he had decided to let out, his wolf-like tail gently thudding against the side of the couch making a calming little sound amidst the silence. He suppressed a slight giggle when Florida decided to be a little mean and gently scratch behind the Pelican State’s ear. His ears perked up slightly when he heard footsteps coming into the living room. He sat up slightly and saw that it was just New York walking into the room and sitting on the opposite side of the couch.

"Hey Loui?" Florida whispered to him.

"Yea sha?"

"Have any of us ever seen what kind of animal-thing New York is?" Asked the Sunshine State.

"Uh….-" Loui paused to think. He doesn’t remember ever seeing York have any animal features. I mean, sure he purrs like a damn cat and has the claws and fangs of one, but otherwise he hasn’t seen anything. Not even when he had first met the Empire State. "Come to think of it sha, no, I don’t think we have."

"Whelp. Tonight’s the night to find out what he is." Exclaimed Florida. He waited for Loui to get up before tiptoeing over to the other side of the living room where York was completely lost in his book. "Hey New York!" he shouted slightly.

The Empire State jumped a bit before glaring at the slightly shorter state. "Jesus Christ….Whaddya want Swamp-For-Brains?"

"I just had a question for you." Florida said with a smirk.

York sighed a bit. "What is it?"

"So I just wanted to know, what are you?"

"….What?" Asked York, who was visibly confused.

"Well y’know how Loui is a weird gator-wolf thing, and Human Torch is a bear?" Florida asked.

"Yea…?"

"I was curious as to what animal-thing you were." Florida stated.

"Nope."

"Cmonnnnn please?"

"Hell no."

"Why are you so boring…?"

"Don’t care."

"Pleaseeeee??"

"F*ck off."

"C’mon Yorkie~~"

"Ughhh…. If I show you, will you leave me alone?" York said, sending a death glare the Sunshine State’s way.

"Uh-huh!!" Florida promised, though NY knew that it was probably a half-a$$ed promise.

"Fine…." NY said. He motioned for Florida to back up a little so he could stand before standing up in front of him. He closed his eyes and about five seconds later, a bunch of firework-like flashes filled the area surrounding him before there was a bright flash that temporarily blinded the other two states. When the flashing subsided , the two smaller states eventually regained their vision, and they were not disappointed with what they saw….

There the Empire State stood. He was at least a few inches taller. He had feathery-elf-like ears, and a pair of what had to be cat ears on top of his head along with some more blue-jay feathers running down the sides of his neck and shoulders. New York also seemed to have some feathers on his forearms as well as some claws where his fingernails were. He had a long tail that came out of the small of his back and looked like a cat tail at first, but started to look more like a blue-jay’s tail feathers. And lastly, this part was a bit concerning. Why was it concerning, you may ask? Well, he also had a beautiful pair of large blue-jay wings, but they seemed to be beat-up and broken, seeing as they drooped pathetically close to the ground near the Empire State’s feet and looked like they could be injured with a single touch….

"Oh my god you are so CUTE!!!" Florida squealed loudly, looking at the Empire State with the same look you would give a kitten.

New York blushed brightly and his feather-ears pinned back slightly as he glared at the Sunshine State. "No I am not!!"

"He’s right, sha. You are pretty adorable." Loui said, though secretly his main focus was on York’s wings. He was trying to think of what must’ve happened for them to look so- broken and delicate….

"Not you too 🥲" York groaned slightly. Suddenly he felt himself get tackled onto the couch. He opened his eyes to see Florida on his lap before feeling a soft touch of the Sunshine State’s calloused fingers playing with his feather-ears. "Really?"

"They’re so fluffy!!" Florida exclaimed.

"Yea I know. Ya coulda just asked instead of tackling me duma$$."

"Yea but you would’ve said no."

"Fair enough. Hehehehey cuhuhut ihit out!" York giggled when Florida decided to be mean and gently scratch him behind the ears like he did with Loui. A few seconds later, Florida stopped torturing him. The three states sat in silence until it was broken by a squeak coming from the Empire State when he felt two gentle fingers run across one of his wings.

"Oop- sorry sha. Did dat hurt?" Loui said as he retracted his hand from where it was over York’s wing.

"N-not really you must surprised me a little." York said quietly. He tensed up slightly when Loui went back to touch his wing, this time to straighten out a few of the feathers as gently as he could.

"If ya don’t mind me askin’, what happened to your wings sha? I’m sorry, they’re beautiful but they also just look so….broken and fragile." Loui said, concerned for his friend. At first, York thought it might’ve been meant to be a slightly teasing remark, but with the way the younger’s ears and tail drooped, he knew it was genuine concern.

His own tail and ears drooped slightly as he gave a small sigh and felt a few tears fill his eyes but not fall ."I-I’d rather n-not get into the details, but it was from….That. Event. In 2001…." He paused for a minute before looking at the two other states, who had not pity, but genuine concern in their eyes.

And so he continued to explain."F*ck it….I was flying around the towers and sh*t looking for anybody that I could save in the air if they were jumping out a window so that maybe that would possibly have a chance at continuing to live and and-"

"Shhh it’s ok, slow down sha. You need to breathe at some point." He heard the calming voice of Louisiana say. He hadn’t even noticed that his breathing had quickened, but he eventually slowed down and relaxed when he felt a gentle hand over his.

"Well I was looking for people to save in the air and I saw this guy that was nearby me about to jump and I flew over to save him as quick as possible before the towers fully collapsed. I managed to catch him, but unfortunately I hate to it this way, but he kind of a bigger guy and my wings got hit with a f*ck ton of rubble. And to add insult to injury, I already had a gaping wound across my entire back. I managed to save him along with a few others, but at the cost of my wings."

The two smaller states stared with concern and sorrow at their friend’s story.

"I-I have no words for once…." Florida mumbled. For once, he was rendered speechless.

"T-that’s terrible….Im sorry dat happened sha…." Loui said, his ears and tail drooping even more.

New York gulped slightly as he tried to hold back tears. "It’s n-not that big a deal, what matters most is the fact that those people survived." he said quietly, his voice shaking a bit. Out of nowhere he felt two arms wrap around him in a tight embrace. He could smell the slight scent of daiquiri and strawberries, so he knew that it was Loui that had hugged him. He buried his face in his friend’s shoulder as he let a few tears fall down his face. "Dammit why do I have to be so weak…." He mumbled to himself, but it was loud enough that the other two heard him.

Florida moved a little closer to him and gently wiped a tear from his face. "It’s not weak to need to cry, New York. Everybody needs a good cry once in a while, it’s completely normal. It’s also completely normal to need some form of affection too, so don’t start beating yourself up over needing it. I will not hesitate to do what I did to Tennessee and send the meth gators."

That got a small chuckle out of the Empire State, even though it sounded more like a smoker’s cough (probably from all the smoke—). York allowed himself to get pulled into a laying position by Louisiana, and just buried his face in his chest with a deep contented sigh.

Florida managed to get on the other side of them, and started gently petting NY’s cat-ears., and in response York started purring and his tail started swaying gently. Florida laughed to himself a bit. No matter how much NY said he hated this kind of affection, anybody that knew him well enough knew that he did in fact enjoy it a lot, just at the moment there was a tail to prove it :)

And they all fell asleep the end :)

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@simpyfrog I did it :D

And @literallyjustexistinghere cuz you seem to be just as obsessed with NY as I am lmao

[somescenecatholic]

ALL TUMBLR PPL PLEASE REPOST THIS ANYWHERE U CAN! THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE PROTESTS ABT THIS BC IT'S PRIDE! This can't go on for any longer. TW: p0l1c3, h0m0ph0b14, tr4nsph0b14

Qween Jean, a Black and Trans community leader was arrested at a PEACEFUL march for Trans Liberation on May 31st, 2023. AS SOON AS THEY GOT THERE there was lots of police and they arrested Qween Jean. I'm not sure if she's out yet as I can't find info on tht. On instagram it says to bail support at 7th precinct 191/2 Pitt St, New York, NY, 10002

This can't keep happening, there needs to be nationwide peaceful protests abt this!! Demonstrations need to be everywhere!!!! IT HAS BEEN 53 YEARS SINCE THE FIRST PRIDE PROTEST! I say protest bc PRIDE STARTED AS A PROTEST! It can ONLY be a parade when we truly get our rights. We can't celebrate until we see our victory. Like, our victory is in the bag bc good ALWAYS wins but we need to take ACTION!

ALSO, ANOTHER THING! NOTE HOW WHEN THE NYPD GOT KICKED OUTTA PRIDE, THEY STARTED ARRESTING AND STUFF! If they actually cared they would let this go on. They would actually do smth and hold their own protests for police brutality and etc to stop. Ik there are good police out there who are actually helping out the communities but lets be honest, the system is screwed up. There is far too much corruption. You KNOW it's bad when even little kids are scared of the police! No, not bc they may look intimidating. But because they are literally scared for their life. Same thing with guns. I was walking home from the bus stop when I was in like 6th or 7th (i forgot) and I thought I saw a gun in someone's car tht was parked in front of me and I was scared to the bone. Thankfully it wasn't a gun, it was smth else.

Anyways I'm getting kinda off topic. But yk what I mean right? (if u got any questions, do ask, my dm's and comments are always open! ^w^)

I'm just so sick tht the stuff tht should be in HISTORY BOOKS is happening right in front of my eyes. Like there have been sm protests and stuff against this for FAR, FAR longer than I have been alive!!! (Ik im only 16 but still this is a srs outrage)

It srsly sucks that this is the world I gotta grow up in.

SO THAT'S WHY WE GOTTA CHANGE IT!

Any action u do can help the world change fod the better. Never miss an opportunity to do good! (big or "small")

SOOO! If u can, go to a local protest! Try to put ur community first, yk? Also, reblog this post and spread awareness about these kinda issues. I'd love to go to a protest buttt I do not have supportive parents and I don't have a car. ALSO, remember tht every act of kindness counts. And dont just keep it to ur friends. Support good local businesses, give compliments to everyone u meet, cheer ppl up, listen to others, donate to GOOD, TRUSTWORTHY charities, do NOT give canned food to food banks bc they need actual food, so give them money, and give homeless ppl money too yk? Ppl are like "WHAT IF THEY SPEND IT ON DRUGS AND STUFF?" Well ofc yea tht's a possibility but who says they won't spend it on what they need? Yk? Basically be a good person, support queer ppl and poc ppl, etc. The world needs sm more kindness. People say "HAH friendship, love, and kindness is such a simple concept tht's not needed". The fact tht it's simple says everything. If we had more of tht, all these issues would cease to exist.

Also, another thing:

PROTEST SAFETY RULES!!

Take water and stay hydrated! If someone doesn't have water and u have some to spare, waterfall it.

Keep face masks and switch your phone to airplane mode. This is a surveillance country. They know how to find you. And if u take pics, make sure tht ur location is extremely hard to pinpoint.

If a police officer arrests u, know ur miranda rights and STAY SILENT AND BE CALM! They will use what they can to take it against u. You have to think a stairway ahead of them. They can't say anything if u don't say anything! And justice will be served so dw, God's with you. Also, yes u can say ur manners like thank you and excuse me.

Again, please repost this everywhere u can.

Remember,God loves u ALL, no ifs ands or buts. ACAB and love is love. Trans rights are HUMAN RIGHTS!!!!!

You matter and the right to speak and protest is a human right. This is our world and we have the power to change it!

(also please tell me if I got anything wrong in this post)

[smackurbeoms]

ex.

genre - smut; minho dom / reader sub, unprotected sex, orgasms.

word count: 1.8k

notes: hi there, hei here! this is ny first work here. i'm currently exploring different platforms as to where else i could share my works. i hope you enjoy this work! <33

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Fuck it— you uttered. You were being bombarded by senseless messages, pushing you to get off your feet and go unwind. You can't— and You don't want to. You're too busy thinking about what else you could do, something more purposeful. Recovering from a breakup is not easy. It has only been 6 months since you last saw your ex, and for now, you guess you could say that you've moved on.

A year of love (of course, with a lot of lust) is not easy to get over with. Especially if your first boyfriend is no other than the well-known heartbreaker that fixed himself only for you. Well, the breakup was mutual— you could say that you got tired of each other's toxic habits, but to say the least, he never cheated.

"Y/n, c'mon. You have got to enjoy the party. An hour won't hurt; I'll wait for you, okay?" your best friend called. She doesn't ask for many favors, so it makes you guilty to say no (like for the nth time).

"Fine," you said, ending the call to go shower. You dragged yourself to get ready, and you didn't want to look like a tormented bitch also, so you tried your best to fix up. You grabbed your silk, thin-strapped black body con, which hugged your figure oh so well, and popped on some stilettos that match the look. Your hair was brought character by some big natural waves, along with soft glam makeup as a final touch. Finally, before leaving, you sprayed some of your favorite fragrance— Bvlgari Omnia in Amethyst, to be exact, and you went on your way to the bar.

You went through a crowd of cheering and dancing people, and finally, you met your best friend. A few drinks in, and she's nowhere to be found, which you assume to be making out with some dude he had met over some online dating app or whatever.

You were drinking, still, and you suddenly smelled a familiar scent brushing through your nose. Oh no, This can't be. You turned around to see who it was, and lo and behold, there he was— your ex, Lee Minho.

Minho stood by the high bar table in front of where you were settled, making you parallel to each other. You were trying your best to avoid eye contact, but you, of all people, know how much Minho hates it when someone avoids his gaze. You were chugging down your alcohol, and as you request for another glass to one of the waiters;

"No, thank you. She's not taking any more drinks," your ex said, accompanying you at the table. Yup, he is indeed my ex-boyfriend— Minho is a very stern and protective man, particularly to you, even when you were not yet dating.

"I can drink as much as I want," you replied, causing him you raise his brow at you. "Okay then, drink as much as you want. Only if someone's going to take you home," he negotiated.

"My best friend's out there making out with someone else. Do you actually think someone's going to take me home?" you rebutted. "Exactly my point, y/n. Now don't be a brat and try to be safe for once. No one's going to protect you now."

Fuck. Well, that shit hurt.

You tried to walk out of the situation when the moment you turned around, you bumped into the serving waiter making all the drinks on the tray pouring on to me. Minho, with fast reflexes, took off his coat and immediately covered you with it. "This is why you always need company," he annoyingly uttered. He brought you to his car and drove to his place.

"Cover yourself with my coat," he glared at you. "As if you never saw it," you whispered and did as he said. You both arrived at his studio unit, and Minho immediately pulled you in front of his closet. He rummaged through his closet and handed you his shirt. "Would you mind wearing one of my oversized shirts?" he asked. You nod to his question when deep inside, you felt ecstatic to wear one of Minho's shirts again. "Shit, I don't have extra undies," you said, making him widen his eyes. "You still have...uh...l-lingeries here," he hesitated.

Seeing his kinda flustered figure elated you, so you thought— It wouldn't hurt to tease a little, right?

Without any words, you rummaged through his drawers, and there you found a basket full of Minho's favorite lingeries of yours. You grabbed a red lacy panty forgetting about the bra and hopped straight to the shower. You purposely didn't close the door, and the sound of the water trickling down your skin was enough to make Minho remember all the time you spent in bed. After showering, you realized that you forgot to bring a towel with you, so you just went out naked, making Minho's eyes widen.

"Y-y/n, w-what are you doing?" he said, avoiding to look at you.

"I forgot to bring a towel. Can I borrow one?"

"Yea, sure," he said, immediately got his towel and covered you with it. "Dry me off," you provoked, making him look at you sternly. For a moment, you thought he was a different person as he obeys your commands. He was gently wiping you down with his towel. You can see his ears go red with every second, and as you look down, an evident tent was created by his growing bulge, which was enough to turn you on. You did not notice that you were staring relentlessly at his tent, so to your surprise, you gasp at a finger slipping to your now wet folds.

"I see that I still make you wet," he grinned, circling your clit around, making you releasing soft moans. "M-minho..." you yelped. You realized that you provoked him a little too much. Minho doesn't like you teasing him. It was always him that was the dominant one— the one in control. You grab onto Minho's shoulders as your knees grow weak with all the pleasure. He slightly laughed at you and immediately carried you to his bed. He hovered on top of you, making him settle himself between your folded thighs.

"I was kind of hoping to see you wearing my shirt again because you look good in it, but I've realized you look better without it," Minho said, peppering your face with sweet, light smooches as if he's not gonna fuck you out relentlessly later. You grew impatient as he continues to shower your face and your neck with wet kisses, so you cling onto his neck and kissed him. Minho, getting the signal, slipped his tongue inside your mouth wherein both your tongues were playing blissfully with each other.

In time, he was marking your neck, and his right hand was groping one of your boobs while the other was busy fingering you deeply. It began harder and harder to suppress your moans, and your lower lip was starting to taste rusty due to his and your biting.

"Keep moaning for me, baby. I want to hear them," he said, but you wanted to tease. "Make me," you said in between your breathy moans. Minho grinned at your response and pulled you to the edge of the bed. He lifted your thighs up and knelt down in front of your intimacy. His kisses were traveling down from the back of your knee, to your thighs, down to your core. As you felt Minho's lips in your heat, you couldn’t help but arch your back and moan with pleasure. Your moans were getting louder as you come closer to your high, and Minho flicking his tongue inside you was doing no help at all.

"You're so fucking wet for me," he said, licking you still. "I'm gonna c-cum..." you moaned. As expected, Minho didn't let you release just yet.

"Not yet, baby," he said, standing up and stripping down his clothes. As he took off his boxers, his erected dick sprung up, making you hunger to ram them inside of you.

"Suck," he commanded. You didn't need to be told twice as you kneel and started to suck him in. You should be teasing the hell out of him first, but you couldn't resist the sight of his warm hard cock inside your mouth. You start bobbing your head as he guides you with his hands. Deep throats are his weakness, so you kept on doing them while looking at him. He threw his head back due to the pleasure, and you kept on sucking.

"Fuck," he groaned, lifting you up and back to his bed. With no intro, he rammed his whole length inside of you, causing you to scream to the pleasure. "M-Minho..." you moaned, making him slam himself harder. "You're still so fucking tight around me," he whispered to your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

"On all fours," he again commanded. You turned your back on him, and he again slipped his cock inside of you and fucked you relentlessly. His girth stretching you out, and you couldn’t help but moan at the shaking experience he has been bringing you.

"Fuck, yes. Keep on clenching y/n. Just like that...

"Ride," he said. Minho laid down his bed as you sit on top of his member. You grind on top of him as his hands hold your waist. Seeing his beautiful, well-structured face turns you on more, finally making you insert in length in you. You lowered yourself slowly, and as you sink yourself, Minho pulled and embraced you, pumping relentlessly in and out of you. You moan by his ears, and at this point, you couldn’t help it anymore.

"Minho, fuck. I can't take it anymore. I'm gonna..." before even finishing your sentence, he hovered on top of you and fucked you faster, deeper, and harder.

"Go on, cum for me," he whispered as he rams himself in missionary. With a loud screeching moan, you came to your release as he keeps his pace, riding your high. "Suck me off," he said, and so you did. You sucked on him to his high, and with a loud groan, he came all over your face. The both of you laid silent in the bed, and in a while, Minho carried you in bridal style to the shower and washed you off. Minho was quite silent as he does his aftercare. Finally, he got his shirt that you were supposed to be wearing a while ago and assisted you in wearing them.

"Cuddle with me," he whined, making you hug him to your sleep. He was stroking your hair, making you fall deeper into his comfort. "You were supposed to wear my shirt a bit earlier, but then you began being naughty," he whispered whining to your ear. Before finally falling into dreamland, you felt him kiss you on the forehead and tightened his embrace.

"I missed you, y/n."

[supraveng]

Moving On (3/?)

part 2

Summary: you have to confront your past….what could go wrong

Characters:  Sam Winchester x reader, former Bucky Barnes x reader, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Steve Rogers, Thor Odinson, Bruce Banner, Kevin Tran, Dick Roman, Maria Hill, Nick Fury

Word Count: 2508

A/N:  sorry for the delay on part 3, (work has been crazy)....hoping to post the next chapter next week

does not follow any MCU story line; attempting an MCU/SPN crossover; let me know if you want to be tagged in the next chapters

@iamwarrenspeace   

@mythandmagik    @lieswithoutfairytales   @bbmommy0902  @hailmary-yramliah  @jessyballet  @paryl @tcc-gizmachine @vicmc624​

You were in a daze and barely remembered getting back to your room, you heard Sam talking but you couldn’t grasp anything other than Thor telling you about your pregnancy.  Something that you would never expect to happen and you were certainly not ready for.  

“Sweetheart? Are you ok?” Sam looked at you worryingly.  

“Yea, uh, I um, I’m ok” you nodded “I am in need of a shower and uh, yea.”  Looking up at Sam, you saw the biggest smile on his face 

“I can tell you are worried, and I know this wasn’t your plan, but I’m so happy right now I can’t help it. We’re having another baby!” he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a comforting hug.  

“I love you so much, Sam” just a hug from him helped your anxious thoughts to quiet down for a few moments.  “Wanna join me in the shower?” you winked as you turned and headed towards the bathroom.

Making your way back to the common room, after a very long and rejuvenating shower, you tried your best to focus on what to do next.  Your head is spinning, as excited as you are about having another child, this wasn’t planned and kind of throws everything out of whack.  

You huff as you plop down on the couch next to Kevin, watching Morgan and Joy have a tea party in the middle of the room with all of their favorite animals.  

“So Kev, we are probably heading home tomorrow, so if there is anything you want to see while in NY, now is your chance” you tell him knowing he’s been enjoying this trip as much as you have.  

“Oh, I thought we’d be here longer, I was hoping to catch a show, but I haven’t been able to find affordable tickets, so maybe next time” he shrugs in response.

“Don’t be silly, I’m sure i can have Tony pull some strings and get you tickets for tonight, or we could move your return flight home, whichever you prefer really. Anything for Kevin Tran, world’s best nanny” you smile at him and see the small blush on his cheeks from the praise.  

“I’m serious, whatever you need, just say the word, you have no idea how relieved I am when she’s with you, because I know you take such good care of her, I don’t worry for a minute, you Kevin, are a Godsend if there ever was one”

You could tell Kevin was a bit taken back, but he rarely took a compliment well so you simply squeezed his hand and offered a sincere smile before being interrupted by Sam as he joined the girls on the floor for tea.   

“What do my girls say to a picnic then maybe a trip to the park?”   

"That sounds like a great plan, but I have an appointment with Maria after lunch so I can't make it to the park, I'm sorry sweetie" you tell them as you go to join them for tea.  

"Well, we could picnic here and maybe play down at the lake, I'm sure Tony has a kayak or canoe I can take the girls on." Sam tells you as you adjust the flower crown on his head so it  doesn't fall in his eyes.  

"Are you sure you want to take care of 2 kids by yourself? I gave Kevin the rest of the day off"

"Of course, and I need the practice" he winks as he starts to tickle the girls.  "Ok, then I will get our lunch ready while you help the girls out of these beautiful gowns and into some play clothes''

 Lunch was an event, although both girls were always well behaved, they had a tendency to make a mess, or get distracted and try to follow the butterfly that came by for a visit.  By the time you were done, you were rushing to meet Maria in time, knowing that being late was not an option.   

You knew what needed to be done but not sure how she would take the info about Roman getting away, hopefully the few of his lackeys that were picked up would get you some important info.  

By the time you made it back to the compound you were mentally exhausted, and apparently your clan had a good day as they were spread out in the common room watching The Little Mermaid.  You had to laugh at how engrossed in the movie the adults in the room seemed to be, and was Steve singing along...no, you had to be imagining that.  

Finding a seat next to Nat, you looked around fondly at your two families combining so nicely.  

“So how did she take it?” Natasha whispered without taking her eyes off the screen.  

You hadn’t told anyone what your full intention of today’s meeting was, as far as everyone knew, you were going over the mission report and strategizing the next steps, but Nat always knew everything….now that you were having two kids, you really needed to figure out how to do that.  

“Well, she’s not thrilled but understands, Furry asked if he had to buy me a farm….whatever that means” you responded shaking your head.  

She snickered and simply responded with “Clint”, you hadn’t even thought of that, “ah, well, Sam Winchester is not the Mr. Mom type, so this is my only option”    

“And are you ok with that?” she asks, finally turning and looking at you. 

“Honestly, I can’t imagine anything better” you sigh as you look over at Joy napping on Sam’s chest.  

“Good, you deserve all the happiness in the world” she gives you a small hug.  “And Tony’s throwing a dinner tonight, since you are leaving tomorrow, so be prepared”  

You roll your eyes in jest, knowing Tony would probably do something like that, “well, in that case, I’m going to try and take a nap before dinner”.   

Getting up you make your way to Sam and bend over to place a small kiss on his head, “I’m going to try and grab a nap, do you two want to join me?” you whisper in his ear, not wanting to interrupt anyone’s movie time…..and now I’m certain Steve is singing along ang actually knows all the songs.  

He smiles and nods, following behind you and into the room you are staying in

Sam got Joy settled in her crib before turning back to me, pulling me into a much needed hug.  “How do you always know when I need you?” you mumbled into his chest.  

“That’s my job” he smiled down at you “so I take it the meeting didn’t go well?”  

"It went as well as could be expected, I'm just trying to wrap my head around the time frame I gave them. Two weeks is a bit short to transition my cases to someone else and pack up my apartment but, the sooner the better I suppose" you are rambling as Sam put Joy in her crib and is now sitting on the bed watching you. 

"You are relocating?  Are you moving back to NY? I didn't realize that was an option when you made this trip…..does this have anything to do with Bucky?" he barely whispers with a worried look on his face. 

"What? Sam, no, none of this has to do with Bucky" you aren't sure why he thought that and look at him confused.  

"I…..I remember how broken hearted you were when we met, if you still love him, I would like to know…..I deserve to know since you are the mother of my children" you had never seen Sam so distressed in your life.  

He was the most confident man you had ever met, the lawyer that owned the courtroom as soon as he walked in.  You couldn't believe that he would ever be concerned with someone you used to date. 

"Oh Sam" you hold his face in your hands as you settle in his lap. "There is nothing left between Bucky and I, he was a part of my past, and might be a friend in the future,  but you are the only man I have ever truly loved with my entire being" looking into his eyes you see some relief so you lean in and kiss him softly but passionately. 

"The meeting was my resignation, or retirement as SHIELD prefers to call it. I'm leaving DC so we can all be together in Kansas all the time."  

He looks at you shocked "you quit? You love your job, I didn't think you would ever leave."  

You smile at him "I do, I love my job, but my family,  you, our kids are so much more important than any job could ever be" 

"Our kids" he whispers as you runs his hand over your stomach "we're having another baby and our family will all be under one roof….this has been an incredible day" he looks at you lovingly before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you as close to him as possible. 

"I'm sorry I didn't explain that before I left, but you know how exhausted I was the first time, there's no way I could continue this case on Roman being pregnant. Speaking of, do you think we could change the wedding date?  If we stick with our current plan, I'll be a whale walking down the aisle" you grimace at the thought of waddling in a wedding dress. 

He chuckles at you before kissing you, "whatever you want is fine by me"  

"Do you think your mom would be ok with us planning something small in the next month or so, before I start showing?" 

He laughs at your excitement to move things along so quickly "mom would love it, she works well under pressure"  

"Ok, let's try to rest before your princess wakes up" Sam and you snuggle into the bed wrapped up in each other's arms.  

It felt like you had just closed your eyes when you suddenly felt the bed shift.  Opening your eyes slowly, you came face to face with beautiful hazel eyes, had it not been for the giggles and tiny hands patting your cheek, you might have thought you were looking at Sam.  

“Joy sweetie” you whisper “how did you get out of your crib?” pulling her down to snuggle with you a bit longer.  

“Tevin hep me out” she giggles again before getting up and climbing over you to sit on Sam’s torso.  He didn’t move, but you could tell by his breathing that he was awake, and most likely ready to strike on Joy at any moment.  

It’s one of the things you love when you are all under one roof.  Not living in the same state is hard, and you both worked really hard to make things as normal as possible for Joy, but seeing them together, simple little things like this made your heart swell.  

She adored her dad, and had no idea it wasn’t normal for you to all be in the same house, but that would soon change.  Before you were too lost in your thoughts, Joy was squealing while Sam was tickling her, the fake sleep surprise attack never failed. 

Looking at them you laughed and attempted to get out of the bed, but you heard Sam whisper “let’s get mommy” and before you knew it, you were being tickled and attacked by both of them.  

By the time the three of you made it to dinner, everyone was there and of course Tony had everything catered and a full staff serving, and of course he needed to make a toast to make sure everyone knew it was an official ‘family’ dinner. 

 Clinking his glass he raised it in the air and everyone followed suit, you were about to grab the wine glass but quickly changed to the water in front of you.  

“To an ever expanding family, salut” Tony cheered as everyone followed suit and took a drink.  The table was full of laughter and chatter from everyone, even Morgan and Joy were chatting away as the best of friends. 

“So Sam” Bruce turned toward Sam “how did you propose to Y/N?” for some reason, that question got most of the tables attention and everyone was looking at the two of you.  

“Well, which time?” Sam asked with a smirk.   

You knew that this would come to bite you in the ass one day, but you had hoped it was with Sam’s family, not yours.  

“Wait…..you proposed more than once?” Steve asked, you could tell he was trying to seem like it was an innocent question, but he was really trying to understand the person you had become since you left NY.  

“Three times to be exact” Sam said with more confidence than you had expected.  You shook your head knowing everyone expected an explanation and you were about to speak when Sam squeezed your hand under the table. 

“Well, the first time was when we found out that our little Joy was on the way.  However, in Y/N defense, we were only together 3 or 4 months at that point, so it probably felt a bit rushed.   The second was about 15 minutes after Joy was born and it was a very emotional day for all of us.  The successful proposal was just a few months ago, and we went on a little road trip, and I proposed at the same chapel where her parents were married” Sam turned to you fondly and placed a sweet kiss on your cheek.  

“Wow, you are even more difficult than Pepper, I never realized that before” Tony smirked as he lifted his glass.  

“Very funny, Tony.   In my defense, the first two were spur of the moment emotional proposals and not thought through.  I didn’t refuse, but knew that you needed to really think things out before taking such a big step” you tried to explain your reasoning, but not sure if it was for yourself or everyone else. 

“They may have been spur of the moment, but they were most definitely thought through” Sam replies with a smug look while still eating and assisting your daughter with her meal.  

You looked up at him a bit confused and was about to ask more when he continued by bringing your hand to his lips and gently kissing your knuckles.  

“I bought that ring after our 3rd date, I just had to convince you that I wanted you for who you are and not what you have given to me since we met.”  

You were shocked, you had no idea he knew for that long that he wanted this life with you, it had all felt it just happened and you went with it.  You were actually speechless at this point and could see the glint in his eyes as you processed what he said.   Leaning in, you kissed him gently and looked into those amazing hazel eye, this is where you always belonged. 

[evermoreparker]

Last Words

A/n: Hey :) so this fic has been in my head for way too long, I plan on turning this into a series, so this is the first part of my next work. Reblogs are extremely appreciated!! 💖💖 Hope you enjoy reading this!!

Warnings: major character death, grief and I think that's it?

Word count: 1.4 k

Last words are overrated, it doesn't matter what someone said to you before they passed away, what really matters is their actions when they were alive. That's something you could never forget.

For Peter they were perfect, not the usual kind of last words people wanted to hear from their loved ones, but it was the last he heard your voice.

It's funny how we never know when our life is about to turn upside down, it's funny how it's so easy to believe in love when you are just a kid, but then you grow up, and it's like they've been feeding you up with lies the whole time. And it's funny how you two hadn't the slightest idea about how your lives were about to change the moment you sat next to a cute guy at the movies.

Having just broken up with your boyfriend, you find yourself wandering the streets of Manhattan in hope of anything that doesn't remind you of love, or your ex.

The universe has a way of putting two people in the right place at the right time, and that was what happened when you chose to watch a movie with zero love, a horror one, with gruesome details, that shit it's not for everyone, at least that was what you thought.

It was a boring monday afternoon, so it was normal that there were just four people watching the movie with you, but one of them caught your attention at first sight. The butterflies in your stomach were begging you to talk to him, but you convinced yourself that love wasn't for you, not for now, at least. That's one of those stupid things you say before meeting "the one", it's like the universe telling you: "ok, now that I know you can't handle more shitty relationships, here's this person that you've been looking for your whole life."

And honestly, it was worth it. You didn't have to talk to the cute guy looking as miserable as you were because he did that for you.

"Hey" he smiled. "Having a bad day?" And if he didn't have the sweetest eyes you've ever seen, (yea I'm quoting Your Song and what about it?) you would've punched him in the face, considering that every guy in NY has a lame pick up line that they read on facebook when they were thirteen. But the cute guy seemed genuinely concerned.

"Yea, just thinking that the world hates me" you shrugged while drinking the rest of your soda.

"I get that. Sorry though, mondays fucking suck" he giggled and you could've sworn it was the sweetest sound in the world. You'd give everything to hear that noise again.

After that Peter invited you for a drink, at 4 p.m, because, well, mondays did suck and getting drunk with a hot guy couldn't go wrong. Actually, it can. But that was not the case here, since we are talking about the best listener in the world and the most talkative person on a date, just like you.

Time goes on, and it's crazy how you never know when what's about to happen next in your life. And for you, it was his proposal, first time you found out you were pregnant, the second time you found out you were pregnant... But for Peter it was all that and having to deal with the pain of losing the love of his life.

When he got your voice-mail asking to pick up your daughter from school, he would've never guessed that that was the last time he would ever hear your voice.

"Hey babe, please pick up Anna from school today. Also, Ben needs to do the dishes like he promised me he would. Oh, and before I forget, I love you so much." He could see your smile saying those three words he loved so much. "And get your socks out of our bedroom floor, seriously Peter, you are lucky you are cute."

That was the sound he replayed more than his favorite song.

The day you died he was so angry at the universe for bringing him this amazing girl and taking her away from him way too fast. But he wasn't on his own anymore, he had the two best things you had given him, and they gave him the strength to carry on. No matter how many months went by, he would always go to a quiet place and talk to you, like he knew you were there, it’s like you were everywhere he knew you loved.

"Funny how you are usually the one doing all the talking, but now it's me" He tried to laugh through his tears while sitting on your favorite bench,(well, now his too), at entral park.

"Shit, I wish we could've done so much more together. Wish you could've changed the world, like you always wanted you. Wish that we could go on road-trips with Anna and Ben." Peter says as he looks up at the sky, just wishing he had just a little more time with you. Just one more smile, one more kiss and he would feel better. At least he thought so.

"I have no idea if I sound crazy talking to the wind, but for me it's like you are always here. I don't think I've told you about why I was at the movies when we met. And you didn’t ask, not even when we started dating, because you always respected my boundaries." Peter says while trying to dry his tears that keeps blurring his vision. "It was my uncle Ben's death anniversary and it was the worst date of every year for me. I hated myself for what happened. Yeah, yeah I know it wasn't my fault’’ He says like he knew what you were gonna say if you were there. You always showed and told Peter how amazing he is, and that’s ok not to carry the world on his shoulders. ‘’But anyway, I had to stop thinking about that, horror movies did the trick for me. And there you were" he smiled while looking at the horizon imagining you were there with him. "I saw your puffy eyes and I knew I wasn't the only one having a bad day, and as you said, 'It's not a bad life, it's just a bad day', pretty sure you stole that from Louis Tomlinson but that's okay. And I had that feeling when you are on a roller coaster and the drop is about to come, but I had no fear of falling. That's what you made me feel, that’s what you still make me feel, whenever the world was cruel to me, I had you. Yes, I stole that from Queen.’’

Peter laughs knowing that you’d have loved how he quoted your favorite song, but now it was his. Basically every single thing Peter had before being with you was now yours, including his heart. And you were his. Fuck ‘Til death do us part’. You both were sure that what you had, what you still have, wouldn’t be gone so easily. It was like you two were destined to be together, maybe you still are in another life.

‘’And I miss the way you would wake me up with kisses all over my face, unless we had a fight the night before." He laughs. "You looked so cute when you were angry, I just wanted to hug you and kiss you because, fuck, how did I get so fucking lucky? And eventually I did, it was impossible to get mad at you, I blame your puppy eyes for that. That was my thing, you know? But I would let you steal anything you want from me, because we were even, you had my heart and I had yours. That was all I could possibly need." Peter says while crying even harder. "I miss you so much. We all do. And you'll always be in my heart, you know that."

Peter picked the kids from school, and it was like you never left. There were little pieces of you in Ben and Anna. For example, the way Anna always fought for what she believed was right, or your beautiful eyes in Ben and the way he had your smile. He was not alone, and he knew he could always be with you in his dreams.

[loveisblindfanfictionbka]

Love Is Blind: Chapter Nine

Robyn brushed her hair up into a ponytail as she walked out of her closet into her bedroom. Leandra and Melissa sat on the large bed, both dressed in their nightwear as was Robyn.

“I can’t believe y’all really came all this way for some gossip,” Robyn murmured as she sat down on the bed and pulled a pillow between her legs.

“We also came to check on you,” Leandra replied.

“Sure you did. So ask away.”

“How are things going?”

“Good.”

“Are y’all still talking?”

“Yes, me and Chris are still talking.”

“Are you dating?’

“No, we are not dating.”

“Why not?”

“We’re relearning each other besides I’m still not in the mood for anything serious.”

“He’s your ex-husband, there’s already a touch of seriousness in this.”

“Exactly why we’re not dating. We got enough to deal with just by being exes.”

“So what is he like?” Melissa asked, “I can imagine things are a bit different now.”

“Things are very different,” Robyn replied as she grabbed her phone and scrolled to a recent picture they had taken together and handed it to Melissa, “he’s so much calmer and relaxed now.”

“Y’all look so good together but you always have. He’s aged well.”

“He did. Witnessing the change between the Chris I knew and this new Chris is interesting.”

“How is he as a dad?”

“He’s amazing. Anesa absolutely adores him.”

“How is your relationship with Anesa?”

“I’ve only been around her a few times but we get along pretty well. She’s so sweet and funny.”

“So what’s the big problem with dating?”

“I am not ready to date regardless of the man, that’s why I didn’t want to meet my internet friend in the first place. Why does it have to go anywhere because we met?”

“It doesn’t have to but it does make sense.”

“I can see your point.”

“You know I’m surprised you’re not madder at him. All that anger you had couldn’t have just disappeared,” Leandra interjected, “you are so zen right now.”

“Oddly enough all the talking we did before we knew who we were really clarified things for me. Had I known it was Chris I was talking to, things might’ve been a little different but I understand more. I’m not completely over feeling betrayed and he knows that but it’s not as bad as it was.”

“Did you sleep with him?”

“Yes and no.”

“What!”

Robyn laughed, “I told you we slept in the same bed together already but we have not had sex.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

“You and Chris, the two freaks of the century, actually slept in the same bed together and did not have sex.”

“Yes. Why is that so unbelievable?”

“Because it’s you two.”

Robyn laughed, “It’s also been seven years. You’d think I’d succumb to him that quickly?”

“Considering you haven’t had sex in seven years, hell yea.”

They all laughed as Robyn rolled her eyes, “I want to be surprised but it’s you, Lele.”

“But you also know that I’m right. You really don’t want to see how it is after all this time?”

“No, I’m not even thinking of him like that.”

Leandra sucked her teeth as she flipped her hair over shoulder, “we’ll see, Ms. Robyn.”

“There is nothing to see, Le-” Robyn stopped as her phone started ringing. She looked at the screen and saw it was Chris, “speak of the devil.”

She cleared her throat then answered the phone, “Hey Stranger.”

Chris sat up in his bed as he heard Robyn answer the phone. He knew it was getting late but was taking a chance on her not being asleep, “How you doing, Beautiful?”

“I’m great. How are you?” She replied.

“I’m good. I was taking a chance on you being awake since it’s getting late.”

“It is the weekend and I am off. Nothing to explain about.”

“Great. Do you have plans this weekend?”

“None that can’t be rearranged depending.”

“I was wondering if you were free Saturday evening for dinner.”

“I would love to go to dinner.”

“Just to clarify, this is a date, date. Not a friendship date. Not a I’m just in your neighborhood, let's hang out kind of thing.”

“Ok. You didn’t have to clarify, Christopher.”

“I just don’t want you to feel like I tricked you in any way. My intentions are honorable but I would like to take you on a real date, if that’s feasible.”

“Thank you for the clarification but my answer is still yes.”

Chris blew out a sigh of relief and Robyn laughed, “were you not breathing that whole time?”

“Are you gonna clown me if I say yes?”

“No, I’ll let you slide this time. You really don’t have to be so nervous around me, Chris. I am not being your friend under duress”

“I know, it’s just my insecurity rearing its ugly head. My apologies.”

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m not doing much right now.”

“No, I don’t want to put-”

“Christopher.”

“Yes?”

“It’s not a burden. Now take a deep breath and talk to me.”

“I’m just psyching myself out, I guess.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re still here and I wasn’t prepared for it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you’d be tired of me by now.”

“Why?”

“There’s not too much interesting about me or my life.”

“I’d beg to differ but even if there wasn’t, I could still just want to be around you. Why is that so shocking to you? Are you expecting me to spontaneously become angry about our past and hate you?”

“Honestly, yes.”

“Please do not take what I’m about to do as a dismissal.”

Robyn burst out laughing and Chris groaned into the phone,” Christopher, that is the most asinine thing I have ever heard. If I was still angry, I would not still be talking to you. I don’t do petty. I don’t do revenge. I am an adult and I can adequately express my displeasure in something without writing it off completely. I am beyond the anger stage. I’m in a place of understanding while you seem to be operating from a place of guilt. Am I right?”

“You’re right.”

“So it seems that you are the problem here and not me, correct?”

“Correct.”

“So how are we gonna fix that?”

“I’m thinking I might need to see my therapist.”

“Whatever works for you.”

“So I’ll be at your place around 6: 30 pm tomorrow night, is that ok?”

“That’s perfect.”

“Enjoy the rest of your night.”

“You do the same. Is there any kind of special attire?”

“Nothing too fancy but not super casual either.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Have a good night, Christopher.”

“You too, Robyn.”

Chris hung up and tossed his phone beside him before grabbing a pillow to scream into.

“Girl, you sounded like me talking to Max,” Leandra said with a laugh.

“Chris can be his own worst enemy sometimes,” Robyn replied, “he thinks I’m being nice to him to get back at him.”

“We heard but what’s happening Saturday?”

“He wants to take me on a date.”

“Oooh, where you going?”

“He just said out to dinner, I’m not sure where.”

“What are you wearing?”

“I don’t know.”

“Good. Shopping trip tomorrow then.”

“We do not have time for your kind of shopping trips, Leandra.”

“We can abbreviate it.  Y’all are going on a real date so you need to pull out all the stops. We’ll check on Nordstrom’s for an outfit, come back here, I'll do your hair and makeup. Simple.”

“Nothing is ever simple with you.”

“You will love me for it. Trust me. And Chris will too.”

“Now I’m scared.”

They all laughed.

                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robyn’s nervousness melted away when Chris walked into her living room with Leandra and Melissa hanging off each arm. His eyes met hers and stuck causing her to blush, “can y’all let the man go please?”

Melissa scoffed, “we haven’t seen him in seven years and y’all don’t have to leave yet, relax. I missed my little brother.”

“Psshh, I think Leandra is the only one who didn’t reach out to him this whole time.”

“Actually, I did but I got his voicemail,” Leandra interjected, “ Lucky for him because I was gonna call him all kinds of names for skipping out on us.”

Chris shook his head, “I would’ve deserved.”

“Damn right,” Melissa said, “but Lele and I have plans so we’ll be going now.”

Chris kissed both of their cheeks before they hugged Robyn and left. Chris moved to sit on the couch next to her and patted her knee, “those two are still characters.”

“They always will be.”

“Glad some things haven’t changed.”

“True. So how are you?”

“I’m good. You look amazing.”

“Thank you. Leandra forced me to buy something new. Apparently my current wardrobe isn’t date appropriate.”

Chris chuckled, “I think your current wardrobe is you and that’s perfect.”

“Thank you. You’re really sweet.”

“Ouch.”

“Why the ouch?”

“You’re really sweet is such a curve statement.”

Robyn laughed, “Omg Chris, really?”

“Yes really.”

“But what if I really do think you’re really sweet.”

“It’s been so long how could you remember.”

“We did kiss a while ago. On the corner of the mouth.”

“And?”

“That’s all I’m admitting to.”

Chris laughed as he held his hands up in playful surrender, “I’ll take that but we could remedy that.”

“After dinner.”

“After dinner then. Are you ready to go?”

“Yup. Lead the way.”

Robyn let out an audible sound of awe as they stood by the car at the entrance of Chelsea Pier, “this is gorgeous. What’s going on here tonight?”

“It’s a jazz performance. A few of the local student groups for the major universities in NY are doing a fundraiser.”

“Are some of your students performing?”

“It’s possible, I didn’t check for specific performers of each group.”

“Do you perform anywhere?”

“Not anymore. I did once or twice a few years back.”

“Is that why you gave me the name Christian?”

“Partly. I know there’s videos of my performances online which lead back to my social media which of course would’ve told you everything.”

“You know since you told me this, you totally have to show me these videos.”

“One of these days I’ll get loose enough to not be embarrassed to show you.”

Robyn chuckled, “I’m sure you did well, why be embarrassed?”

“I was fairly nervous performing so I don’t think I did too well.”

“What did everyone else say?”

“That I did well but I think I’m harsher on myself than anyone else.”

“That, I can believe.”

“So what hobbies did you pick up?”

“Other than reading more, none.”

“Really?”

“I’m not the creative type.”

“You used to say that back in the day too but you never know until you try something.”

“What do you think I should try?”

“What have you always wanted to try?”

“How about something we’d both be learning at the same time?”

“How about sculpting or something?”

“Hmm...that sounds good.”

“I guess we need to schedule another date then.”

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course,” Chris replied as he grabbed her hand. They had walked up to the restaurant hosting the fundraiser event. The maitre’d smiled at them as they searched for Chris’s name on the list. Upon finding it, they led them to a table by the window. They smiled their thanks as they took their seats and accepted a menu.

“This is a nice spot.” Robyn stated.

“Thanks. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be outside. It can get a bit cool since it’s still early in the season.”

“Very thoughtful. Thank you.”

Robyn swayed gently to the current group of musicians playing a jazz-rendition of a classic R&B song by Tony Terry. Chris watched as she started to mouth the words and leaned into his palm, thoroughly enjoying her enchantment with the music. Just then he felt his phone vibrate with a text message from Jessica.

Jessica: Chris, I need to bring Anesa to you. There’s something going with Jason.

Chris: I’m at the restaurant we used to go at Chelsea Pier

Jessica: I’ll be there in ten minutes

Chris: you were already in the city?

Jessica: Yes, I had to drive down here for Jason. It was supposed to be over quick but we’re still here. I’m trying to keep this nigga out of jail

Chris: SMH, you need a new boyfriend

Jessica: I’m figuring that out

Chris: LOL

Chris gingerly touched Robyn’s hand, bringing her attention back to him, “we have a dilemma.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Jessica needs to bring Anesa to me. She has an emergency.”

“Oh, is she ok?”

“It’s her boyfriend. Long story.”

“If you need to cut the date short, I’ll understand.”

“No, I would like to continue this but we might have to switch plans because of Anesa.”

“That’s fine.”

“You sure? I know this was supposed to this big date and I’m gonna have to-”

“Chris, it’s not like we’re not gonna see each other. I am not worried about the change of plans. I’m having a really good time.”

“I can tell. You’ve barely said anything to me since we’ve sat down.”

Robyn shrugged, “music centers me a bit.”

“Oh I’m not complaining. Watching you has been a highlight. How was your dinner?”

“It was amazing. I never considered blackened catfish but I love it. I’m used to grilled or steamed.”

“I’ll have to make a southern dinner from scratch one of these days.”

“I would like that.”

“Good.”

“Is Jessica far away?”

“She said 10 minutes but I’m guessing it’ll be more like 20 if she’s where I think she’s coming from.”

“We could walk for a little bit before we meet her outside.”

“You don’t want anything else to eat or drink?”

“Nope, I think I’m good.”

Chris gestured for the waitress and paid for their food before leading Robyn out to the front.

Robyn tucked her hand in his, “so which way do we go?”

“Hmm...to the right, I believe there is a small park. To the left, would be towards the parking lot.”

“Then to the right it is.”

Robyn leaned in his arm as they started walking, “what led you to fostering?”

“Besides me wanting a child?”

“Besides that.”

“I just thought I was in the right place and I had a capacity for love that I wasn’t utilizing. I’ve always loved children and had a good rapport with them, I figured what better way to use it than to give it to a child that needs it. I had already decided against getting into another relationship.”

“That really surprises me.”

“Why?”

“I mean you’ve clearly healed and done well for yourself. Why stay single?”

“I had my dream girl and I blew it. There wasn’t anyone else out there I really wanted to be involved with.”

“I guess.”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“I was still trying to make sense of the divorce. Adding a new person to my life just didn’t sound like a good idea.”

“But you still could’ve been in a relationship amid all of that.”

“At the risk of inflating your ego, there wasn’t anyone else I wanted to be with.”

“That actually makes me feel more guilty than hype.”

“Why? Because you wanted me to date someone else.”

“Actually yes.”

“Are you really that worried that you ruined me?”

“Very. Not saying relationships are the only way to be happy but I know how much you enjoyed it. You’re very independent but you’re also affectionate and loving, you deserve to share that with someone who’ll give it back to you.”

“I can’t give it to myself?”

“Of course you can but you know what I mean.”

“I do. I’m just picking with you.”

Chris chuckled then kissed her temple, “wanna make a u-turn? Jess should be here by now.”

“Sure. That was a quick 10 minutes.”

“Time flies when you’re having fun.”

“True. So what are we going to do once we get Anesa?”

“I will leave that up to you and her. I want it to be something fun for both of you.”

“I'm good for a movie and relaxing on the couch.”

“I’m trying to do something extraordinary and you are shooting me down at every turn.”

“Who says that extraordinary requires an exuberant amount of energy or money? In my old age, just spending time with a person is extraordinary to me.”

“Well when you put it that way, I feel special.”

“You should. Most people don’t get past one phone call with me.”

“Really?”

“Yes really. The fact you got past the first chat with me is a miracle.”

“I guess that prayer I sent up before we left your house was answered.”

Robyn laughed, “you’re still just as dramatic as you ever were.”

“I’ve tried to mellow it out a bit.”

“Just a bit is right”

“Right in the heart.”

“I never miss, Christopher, if you haven’t figured that out.”

“It has been duly noted.”

They laughed as they made their way back towards the restaurant. 

[prettyinlimegreenboots]

Twelve Days of Holly, Jolly Tidings - Day 8

Previous Days 

Disclaimers: I watched “Dash & Lily” the other day on Netflix. This story is LOOSELY based on that book and Netflix series.  I do not own “Dash and Lily” or Newsies or anything recognizable within the series.  There are occasional curse words throughout the series, nothing too horrible but there’s some. 

Friday, December 20 

Friday was finally here and it was a welcomed reprieve from the week she had had. The brightest spots were Jack’s daily adventures for her. She was looking forward to the notebook and the ways it would appear back in her life. 

A knock on the door caught her attention. Looking up from the article she was editing, she grinned at Bill. Pushing her chair back, she made her way to the door, pulling him into a hug. “Well, well look what the cat drug in.” 

“It’s good to see you too.” He grinned walking into the office and sat in the plush chair as she made her way to her own chair. “How have you been?” 

She grinned, capping her pen before looking over at her long time friend. “Good. . . things have been really good.”

“I saw the front page article, congratulations.” He praised, watching a blush float across her cheeks. 

She shook her head. “Thanks . . . it turned out really good.  What’s new with you? Saw Darcy yesterday - he said that he’s been undercover. Know anything about that?” 

“He’s been tightlipped about what he’s getting up to but he promised that we’d meet up with drinks in the new year.” Bill shrugged. “I get sporadic texts from him, much like you.” 

Holding up her hands, Kat giggled. “I’m sorry . . . I’m the worst friend ever.  But you know how the holidays get . . . especially for the Plumber family.” 

“They still doing the ball on Christmas Eve?” Bill asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Groaning, Kat threw her head back against her chair. “No, they’re going out to California to visit Ryan and his family then to Arizona to visit Chris.” 

“So what are you doing for Christmas?” Bill’s eyes went wide, looking over at Kat, watching her reaction as she mentioned her two older brothers.  

She smiled. “I’ll be with Jack’s family. Mom and dad decided that they wanted to travel instead of being home for the holidays.” 

“At least you won’t be alone . . .” Bill nodded, reaching into his bag for something, handing it over to Kat. “I actually have another reason for stopping by.”  Her eyes lit up, accepting the notebook from him. “I was asked to bring this to you.” 

“Thank you!” She grinned, letting her fingers dance along the cover of the book. “So you’ve seen Jack today?” 

Bill grinned. “Yes, we had coffee together this morning. He clued me in on what you’ve been up to and all the adventures he’s led you on.” 

“He wants me to see the magic in the season.” Kat smiled softly. 

“And have you?” 

She bit her lip, thinking back on the last seven days, slowly nodding. “Yea, I have.” 

“Good to hear.” Bill pushed himself to his feet, giving her a look. “Today’s your last day of work before the new year, right?” 

Nodding, she smiled. “It is. Want to meet up on the 27 or 28 for drinks?” 

“That sounds like a plan. I’ll text you.” He headed to the door. “Merry Christmas, Kat.”

“Merry Christmas to you too, Bill.” 

He shut the door behind him, leaving her in her office alone. Cracking open the notebook, she found the correct entry, leaning back in her chair to read. 

Kat,

Merry 8th day of Christmas! Bill was oh too eager to deliver this to you, saying something about sporadic hearing from you. 

Anyways, I’m sending you to somewhere you’ve never, ever been before in the city but I have a feeling this will be one of your favorite places to visit.  Head over to 230 Thompson St, New York, NY 10012. Once you arrive, look for Ash - you’ll know her when you see her. 

Have fun today! 

Grabbing her bag, she stuffed her laptop in it. She looked at her desk, making sure she had everything before walking to the door, flipping off the light, knowing she wouldn’t be back in until January 6. 

As she made her way to the elevator, she wished her coworkers “Happy Holidays” and “Merry Christmas” before pushing the button, waiting for it to arrive.  Grabbing her phone, she quickly typed in the address Jack had given her as she stepped onto the elevator.  She felt herself descend as her map app mapped out a route to wherever Jack was taking her. 

Heading to the familiar subway station, she quickly paid, making her way to the A Platform, joining others as they all awaited the train. She grabbed her phone, grinning seeing a text message from Jack. 

Go easy on Ash, please?

Where exactly are you sending me? She typed back, wondering what he had up his sleeve. 

You’ll love the place. Order the Hot Chocolate, it’s one of the best in the city. But seriously, go easy on Ash. 

She paused in her typing as she thought. Jack had never mentioned Ash before so she was kind of scared of what Jack was dragging her to. I promise I will go easy on Ash. Anything you want to clue me in about Ash? 

She’s wicked smart so she’ll keep you on your toes. 

She laughed, stepping onto the train. I have a question for you. 

What’s that?

She took her seat, texting him back. Will you ever join me on an adventure? 

She watched the bubble bounce before disappearing before bouncing again. How do you know that I’m not at every single one with you? 

She raised an eyebrow at his cryptic text. Are you at every single one of them with me? 

I’ve been at most of them. I think I’ve only missed one because there weren't any good hiding places.  And time will tell if I will be joining you on an adventure. Now go, have fun with Ash and don’t be too hard on her. 

She pocketed her phone, shaking her head at him. He could be the sneakiest person she had ever met when he wanted to be.  She leaned back in her seat, her body swaying with the train as it screeched into the station.  Gathering her bag, she headed up the stairs, leading to the street level.  After consulting her map, she headed towards the address. 

She quickly jumped out of the way, avoiding being plowed over, shaking her head as she continued her journey to the location. Double checking the address, she paused in front of a nondescript building with big bay windows. Pulling open the door, she made her way to the counter, pausing to breathe deeply, inhaling the comforting smell of coffee while her eyes swept around the shop. A young girl occupied a booth but other than that, the cafe was empty. 

“Hi, how can I help you?” A woman stepped out from the back with a bright smile on her face. “I’m Avery.” 

“Hi Avery. I’m Kat. Can I get a hot chocolate?” Kat smiled, as the woman grabbed a mug and nodded. 

“If you want to grab a seat, Kat, I’ll bring it out to you.” She said, starting to make the hot drink. 

Kat looked over at the young girl before making her way over her booth. “Excuse me?” 

The little girl looked up from her game of Bananagrams with a smile on her face. “Hi, are you Katherine? If so, you can sit down.” 

“I am. Are you Ash?” Kat asked,  sitting down in the booth across from her. 

She nodded, taking a sip of her own mug. “I am. Mom owns the cafe.” 

“So how do you know Jack?” Kat asked, putting her bag next to her on the bench. 

The woman came over and set her mug of hot chocolate down, grinning at Ash and Kat. “Jack and I went to elementary school together. I’ve known him since we were kids. He is often in here sketching or picking up a coffee when he’s on this side of town. He mentions you a lot.” 

“Oh he does?” Kat grinned, taking a sip of her hot chocolate.  “This is really good.” 

Avery laughed. “Thank you. And Jack is a good guy. You make him very happy.” 

“Thank you, he does the same for me.” She took a moment to let her eyes sweep the cafe. “Ash mentioned you own this place. It’s pretty cool.” 

Avery sat next to Ash. “Ash and I always enjoyed going to cafes to sit hot chocolate and play a game but there weren't any cafes that had board games so I decided to open one about 2 years ago. We’ve had some success, especially with the college kids.” 

“That’s really good. Jack mentioned that once I visited this, it would become a favorite and I’m happy to say that he’s right. This is really cool.” Kat grinned. 

Putting her hands on the table, Avery looked between Ash and Kat. “I’ve got some things to do in the back, but it was really nice to meet you Kat. Ash, don’t bother her, alright?” 

“It was nice to meet you as well.” Kat smiled, looking over at Ash. “I was hoping to play a game or two of Bananagrams if that’s okay with you, Ash?” 

Her eyes lit up as Avery smiled at the two of them. “Have fun.” 

Dumping all of the tiles on the table, they each took 21 tiles as Kat motioned Ash to go first. “So you and Jack are dating?” 

“We are. We’ve been dating for 5 years.” Kat nodded, laying down her tiles as Ash concentrated on doing the same. 

“How is he as a boyfriend? Is he as big of a dork as he’s a friend? Are you two going to get married?” She asked, tongue poking from between her lips as Kat giggled. 

“He’s a good boyfriend; he is sweet. He is a big dork under all of the sweetness. And I hope so.” She smiled. “Ash, how old are you?” 

“Nine, almost ten.” She grinned, looking up at Kat. “Jack tells me I’m too old for my age. But I often kick his butt at Bananagrams - he’s not very good at the game.” 

Kat laughed, thinking back on her text message conversation with Jack and him telling her to go easy on Ash. Now she knew what he meant. “I bet you like to read, don’t you?” 

“I do. How can you tell?” Ash asked, looking over at Kat. 

She pointed to the table. “I don’t know I would’ve known what cranny meant when I was 9.” 

Ash giggled. “That was a vocabulary word a couple of weeks ago.” 

Kat used her tiles to form the word “cat”, grinning at Ash. “When was the last time you saw Jack?” 

“Uhhh . . . yesterday, I think.” She tilted her head, thinking back on the day before. “He came to tell momma and me you were going to be stopping by. Oh, you need to read the notebook - I forgot to tell you.” 

Grabbing the notebook from her bag, Kat flipped it open, smiling at Jack’s scrawl. 

So you’ve met Ash and Avery. Avery was my first girlfriend when I was 6 but I was more interested in dirt and trucks than having a girlfriend so it didn’t last long. But we’ve maintained our friendship throughout the years. 

Did Ash ask you allllll the questions? She told me she was going to quiz you about everything, including how I am as a boyfriend. Don’t be sharing all of my dirty secrets, Katherine. 

Anyways, I wanted you to experience a cute little cafe that had a ton of board games options that you could sip your hot chocolate and enjoy a little competition. 

But let’s talk about your competitiveness - you swear up and down that you’re not competitive but you are, in your own way. You love to compete against yourself - pushing yourself to write your best article yet or beating Race in whatever game you two play.  Did you play sports as a kid? Because I could see you playing soccer and rushing to get the ball or softball with a wicked curveball. 

The most competitive I’ve ever seen you is when we play scrabble, which is why I’ve put my foot down about playing that game with you. But it’s the one time that I see your tongue poke out between your lips in concentration, determination written on your face at coming up with the biggest point word, while trying to figure out where I’m going to go next. 

So, I want you to write down your favorite competitive moments from your life. Tell me all the times your competitiveness got the better of you - I’m looking for some juicy childhood memories, Kat. 

She grabbed her pen, giggling at Jack’s words. Ash looked up at her with a grin. “Jack being silly?” 

“Yes, he is. Let me write this real quick and we can continue our game, alright?” 

She nodded, as Kat started to write. She wrote about playing soccer as a kid and tackling kids as she tried to get to the ball. Or the time she wanted to learn how to play softball because her older sister played. She attempted to pitch in a softball game but the ball ended up in a window, breaking it, officially putting an end to her softball career.  She went on to write about writing for her high school’s paper, and having to rewrite an article because it wasn’t good enough in her opinion - she rewrote it and it ended up being one of the best she wrote in her high school career. Jack had her pegged - she was more competitive with herself than others. 

Now Ash should have something for you - you might have to ask a couple of times but I gave it to her for safe keeping.

Enjoy your game of Bananagrams. 

Love you, 

Jack 

“Hey Ash?” Kat asked, looking at the girl. “Do you have something for me?” 

Ash grinned, looking around the cafe. “I’m sure it’s around here somewhere.” 

Smiling at her coyness, Kat gave her a look. “Jack said he gave it to you for safe keeping.” 

“He did but I may have hidden it within the cafe.” Ash grinned, as the bell above the door rang. Kat and Ash looked over. She squealed seeing Jack walk through the door. 

Kat watched Ash rush into Jack’s arms as he laughed loudly at whatever Ash had just told him. She grinned when he looked over at her.  He whispered something to Ash before making his way over to Kat, pulling her into his arms, brushing a kiss on her lips. “Hi love.” 

“Hi yourself.” She wrapped her arms around him in a hug. “You’re a welcomed surprise.” 

Jack pressed a kiss to her lips. “I’m taking you to dinner. Ash keeping you on your toes?” 

“She was being coy about what you gave her. She said that it was hidden around here somewhere.” Kat’s eyes lit up in suspense. 

Jack laughed. “I told her to go get it so you can open it.” 

Ash returned with a bright red box in her hands. “Here you go, Kat.” 

Taking the box from Ash, she quickly unwrapped it, handing the paper over to Jack. She popped open the box, smiling at what laid inside. A “K” scrabble tile charm was nestled into the cotton as she looked up at Jack with a grin. “Thank you, I love it.” 

“Good.” Jack pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Good job, Ash.” 

“Thanks. Can we finish our game before you leave?” Ash asked, looking over at Kat. 

She nodded, as Jack walked over to the counter to talk with Avery as they finished the game. Ash threw her arms up in the air in victory. “I beat you, Kat.” 

“You did, kiddo.” Holding out her hand, Kat shook Ash’s hand. “Congratulations. Keep up the good work and maybe I’ll beat you next time.” 

Ash grinned. “You’ve got it.” 

Grabbing her bag, Kat threw it over her shoulder, lacing her fingers with Jack’s before saying goodbye to Avery and Ash, promising she’d be back.  Jack said his goodbyes before tugging Kat out of the shop and down the street.

So what did you think of Ash? She was a lot of fun to write. What do you think of Kat’s adventures so far? There’s more coming up - four more days to go! Feedback would be wonderful! 

[swirlyrobe]

Jul 28, 2015

Details

after that i ended up in a special ed school and thats when i started listening to rap with dipset and stealing yugioh cards for money and robitussin to get high. when i was 16 i only had a couple good friends and everybody else just avoided me caus they were scared i was going to fight them and one of them steve (who’s 3 years younger than me) had me meet his (at the time) ex gf one day and i ended up getting my thing sucked>.> yea for the first time and then we planned to lose our virginity the next week. she brought her friend and we had a threesome tho my drugs caught up with me because i was on probation for beating somebody up on the bus and i kept getting dirty urines for weed so i went to rehab a couple weeks after

i never really had gfs in highschool other than that, there was only 5 girls in my special ed school, i was friends with most of them but they used me for drugs. i went to community college right after highschool and made friends rapping tho immediately got involved in a small crime ring of stealing video games from stores, selling them to gamestop to make a couple hundred daily as well as smoking a lot more weed (while still on probation for another assault) that didnt catch up with me yet tho when i was 19 this girl sabrina added me on facebook and i really liked her, ended up meeting her at the mall it was a really sweet date(we had fun getting physical😄) she wasn’t like everybody else because she didnt try to be normal. i had court coming up though i ended up smoking pcp for the first time and had a psychotic break where i thought this girl was her (who wasnt) and got arrested for unlawful restraint (i thought she was bugging out and i didnt want to leave until i knew what was wrong). i went to jail and got released to rehab again.

when i got out of rehab i went to outpatient rehab (i was 20 now) and met a woman heather who was 33. we dated and she bought a ring for me 3 months after to propose which i accepted because i was desperate and i thought i loved her though she asked if i was attracted to her and i honestly said only her face and not her body so she broke up with me. after that i started smoking again until i started talking to this girl Haley who lived the city over from me, she said she wanted a brother yet i really started liking her when we talked. this is when i really started realizing i liked younger girls and she ended up admitting she had a bf months after and lied to both of us. (i made a lot of songs about her😔😪){&2020 update about haley: we moved on with our lives and had never met though I talked to her a little on Facebook this year and, thankfully I wasn't as enamored and clingy😪}

there's a couple dozen other girls i dated/talked to between that and then there was bella who heard my music on an old social site called PHEED and i thought she was beautiful so i told her that and we talked. she lived in texas but we had intense convos she was really smart, beautiful, funny and we swore we would be together though i had to go to rehab again(this time inpatient in New London where, I lived in a sober house & got a job after) because i violated probation yet i wanted to test if she’d stay with me so i didnt tell her i went. about 4 months later when i was getting out of rehab i talked to her again and she acted like everything was alright and she had moved to NY as well as gotten a license and really had her life together. she said she loved me and was gonna drive to see me in new london so, I waited an hour for her to come until I talked to her and she said because I "played" her she was playing me so, not coming 😢😞(this was in 2014)

So in 2015 I was clean about a year so, I applied & got accepted for McNally Smith college of music (to major in audio production) in st Paul Minnesota where I Was clean for months until (for some reason I forgot but, probably running around fast) I got kicked out of my weightlifting gym out there so I was upset and, found some people @ a park near downtown st Paul smoking weed which I got in on and, ten weeks later I saw someone with dreads buying a dutch in a bodega so, I asked if he knew where to get weed and: It turned out he was a dealer so I ended up buying lot's of weed and trading for studio time for him to record but, I got caught smoking sometimes in my dorm & because I got in arguments with students and staff at college so, they warned me if I got in ANY fight in or, outside of school I would be expelled & I DID get expelled; probably because of the fight where I sent that guy who hit my head with a brick to the hospital (which drew a LOT of attention and PROBABLY was on the news)

Though they said it was because I got in too many arguments and, smoked too much weed in my dorm...

So I moved back with my grandma later in 2015 where I was until she kicked me out for smoking weed and k2 so, I was homeless In which I slept under a blanket near the library and, behind a church in hamden until, the church let me live in their garage when it became winter so I stayed there until early 2016 where, I moved to a spot in Hamden off the bike trail in the woods where I started with a one person tent until I stole a 8 person tent from Walmart and, uused a shopping cart to carry a bed my friend gave away down the bike trail to my spot and late I stole a propane heater plus propane powered stove so I stole an empty propane can outside of krauzers and I kept paying $20 to get it filled at The car wash up the street so I used it to cook ramen and, oatmeal on my stove and power my heater in the winter and I finally got clean in August 2016 while STILL homeless then completed a course to get into CTWORKS which helped me get nice used suits and an interview g for the job I got at Chipotle in December 2016 while, still homeless 😪 I told them I still lived at my grandmas and took showers at my friend's house until I got a la fitness membership with my first paycheck which was actually through the woods near my tent so, I took showers there EVERY morning & worked out there in addition to, at my tent where I still had a barbell set from my grandmas and, then in the spring of 2017 I applied to and, got a landscaping job I saw on the ctworks job search online so I woke up at 5am EVERY morning with a battery powered alarm clock I stole from Walmart and, caught the first Whitney bus that went downtown at 5:30 and, then I took the next train around 5:45 to go to milford where, the landscaping base is so I ran there when I got to Milford around 6am to get there on time by 6:30-45

So I worked there while I was still homeless and, I got approved for shelter plus Care which some people That lived in the woods near me told me about and, I got my apartment with 2 jobs off the post road behind dunkin donuts in West Haven so, I took The bus up the post road to get to BOTH jobs until, I saw a moped for sale from east haven on Craigslist for$200 in mid spring of 2017 which, I rode to my jobs on until, I got a drivers permit (coincidentally on the day I heard my grandma was dying so, I Went to her house and Watched her die 😥

Then I took drivers ed classes;

Then I started getting driving lessons in late spring 2017 until I learned to drive in a couple months so, I took the drivers test in summer 2017 and, then took motorcycle classes at north haven gateway (where I ran into my dr's receptionist Alexandra ai had a crush on (who I even had written and recorded a song about) then, my mom helped me get my 250 ninja from new Haven power sports so: I drove that to my jobs until my crash on August 6th 2019 which, I don't remember but, I woke up at the residential physical rehab hospital Gaylord where : I leave weekly what happened was I hit an suv on mg way to work, had a right brain stroke & broken pelvic also my left side was paralyzed and got contractures (where my left arm, fingers and left got really curled up and difficult to straighten so I'm still working on walking again 😥

(I'm getting botox injections to help my left side straighten and , I'm able to my left leg and arm though, they're really bent and my fingers are too bent for me to move, use,or, hold anything😪

So now I am living at my aunts waiting to get another apartment through my insurance agency while, I still get votox every 2 months unrtil I hopefully gain control and use of my left side😪 &, the ability to walk again...

I went from being REAL STRONG to, being weak (though I'm ljfting more with my right arm with a dumbbell then I used to!)

Either way: I'm a survivor!

💪🏽😁👍🏼

[bumblbytrash]

Yo fuckers, guess what today is??

It’s National Girlfriends day 👭🏳️‍🌈

And I think it might just be time to talk about one of y’all’s favorite canon ships: Dancing Bees💃🏻🐝

So y’all know who @tapdancingbrain (Aryle) is. She’s my girlfriend, and we’ve been dating for 4 months ago(but met and started talking nearly a month before that). And in these 5 months, oh lord, so much has happened. How about a highlight reel?

Tho if you’ve been following me these past 5 months and have managed to not figure out who she is, kudos, you may just be one of the most oblivious people on the planet.

Right along with Ary when we first started talking.

*cough*NotToPullReceiptsOrAnything*cough*

I think sometime after the third time telling Ary I did in fact like her like her and was flirting with her, it began to sink in 😋my adorable oblivious tol dork.

But! I really gotta hand it to wishciruit, without her ask about coming out in the workplace, me and Ary never would have even met. This whole wild ride started just cause Ary made a silly joke and I told her she sounded fun. Literally the most random and in passing interaction you could really have with someone.

But I dunno. At least for me, something about her stood out, drew me in. I mean shit, there’s a reason I started aggressively reblogging her reblogs in a LENGTHY chain we made out of us flirting with each other.

And honestly?

Thank god.

Thank god I got to meet this amazing and beautiful young woman with a kickass sense of humor who laughs at my shitty jokes and makes them with me. Thank god i get to have this incredible woman in my corner, and thank god I get to be in hers.

And damn, y’all remember fucking bootsgate right? Hahaha, one night we’re chatting, as we literally did every day nonstop, and it came up that I was cleaning my black leather thigh high boots and the poor girls melts. ��😂

Also, ya know, all the Death By Ary Art™️, our RWBY AU characters, all of the funny and sweet comics she made, the flowers she drew me, the owl made out of flowers. Y ‘all, I know that shit takes effort and then she’s gonna just drop in the tags “Rachael inspires me” and expect me to survive that? Incorrect. I died, multiple times. Still do die every time I see her art whether it’s for me or something from forever ago.

Y’all, I just gotta say it, I love this girl. She inspires me too, every day. I’ve written more poetry in the past few months than I have my whole life. She’s just sweet enough to give you a toothache, funny enough to leave you in stitches, caring enough to literally join the Care Bears, and god, I could literally say so much about her. But ima just summarize and say she’s really pretty fucking great, and whenever she forgets how great she is I try my best to remind her cause damn. How’d I get so lucky?

My one and singular complaint is just that teleportation hasn’t been invented in these 5 months. But Ary’s trip to NY to see me was amazing. I remember as I was driving to the airport, waiting for her to land, I had the gut wrenching feeling that it was going to be painfully awkward. And then I pulled up to the curb and I saw her over the other cars (cause she’s a fucking tol bean y’all) and I thought “damn, she’s even prettier than I thought” and that bad feeling just flew away.

Of course, ya know. In Ary’s typical fashion, the very first thing she said to me was a shorty joke 😂

But, then I took her home, showed her my place, introduced her to my cats (yea, I know, lesbian stereotypes are real) and then we just chilled. Hung out, went to see an art museum, watched shows together, played our favorite games together, tol a trip out of the country to Montreal together, cooked together, at one point decided maybe we should have a proper dinner + movie date.

And you know what?

It was fucking great.

Literally every single minute, even when we weren’t doing anything but cuddling in silence. Amazing.

We just had a wonderful time and ima come clean here and say it sucked when she left. I cried, quite a bit. She was only here for 10 days but they are some of the best in my life and I miss getting to hold her hand everyday.

But hey, at the end of the day, my babe is The Babe™️ and I’m damn lucky to have her. It’s been a wild and crazy ride, one that isn’t even close to being done and one I never wanna get off. Hahaha and one I’m sure y’all have enjoyed watching 😋

And y’all can fight me if you think my babe deserves anything but happiness and goodness.💪🏻🥥💪🏻

[ifeelsoemptysometimes]

Uhhg my feelings of longing sometime kick in at full force that its almost painful. I dont understand why I get these bouts at times. Well, I have been into self-interests again fir the past couple of weeks so I guess that pretty much explains it. Ugh, it just? So upsetting?? I really wish I could feel that warmed only a significant other can give you. When they laugh with you, smile at you, touch you, talk yo you, do things together, yk, and so on and so forth. I really dont like feeling like this bc ik I don't in particularly need it and i really dont feel attracted to anyone. So if I was that would make things a bit difficult,, maybe. I don't really know how ny romantic attraction works tbh. It's been quite a while since I've actually liked anyone. I think I show attraction when tge person demonstrates it first. Depending on the person ofc. Its always been like that from what I remember. Friends with said person. No feelings. *confesión* feelings developed? Lol idk. Its been some time since I've had a crush so I can't 100% verify but im sure thats how it has been. Then the question is, did I ever REALLY like them?? That i can't really confirm. In first and last "relationship," i think i actually did like him but (we had been kind of friends in the past ig and then fast forward we became friends again but we were a little closer this time, talking everyday at every hour. he then confessed his "feelings", asked me out and I was very flattered so i was like yea man lets go out i guess lol) the crushes before that one feel shaky. Was it real emotions? Or was it bc they liked me first and I was like *shrugs* "I think a less than possible relationship with this guy sounds kinda nice so yea me too, kinda." Obsesión?? Idk its weird lol. I definitely to feel romantic attraction, but only towards people I already have a close bond (depending oh the person of course) with and to my own understanding, only if they confess first. Hmmmm. There have been time were it was like "oh yea I like this guy" who were my friends but, was that just me confusing platonic feels for romantic feelings?? I like to think that can tell the difference between the two but maybe that not true?? I mean,, nothing ever come from those "crushes" like at all. I dont remember feeling strongly about them. I never wished to be in a relationship with them or anything. They just feel like meaningless words and I believe that was the case back then too.

I remember this guy who was a senior in HS, he had been given me little candy bag gifts. I honestly didn't think too much of it, I just thought he was being nice yk?? The year it happened we had one class together but we never spoke to each other. We did have gym my freshman year tho. In that class we talked, played games together and whatnot. Friends. Anyways, one day one of my besties told me that he liked me and was hoping for an answer. I was baffled lol. He did?? But he hadn't even looked at me since the year that we had gyms together. At that point I was a junior and he was a senior. I had to sat no, I didn't like him. I think he pushed for a positive answer a couple more times but ultimately, I still said no. Later that year be bought me a bts backpack and it was filled yo the brim with that same brand that he'd "seemingly" gift me lol. I was completely baffled. It was odd to me. Romantic feelings for me?? That's really weird lol. Seems unthinkable. After the final gift we never spoke afterwards.

There was this other time in HS were this girl had a crush on me. I remember the first day I saw her, she was unfamiliar, I'd never seen her before. We were well into or past the 3rd 9 weeks so yk, she was obviously a new student. She was caring a yellow sketch book and some other stuff and as she walked past me and iut of the corner of my eye I could see her looking at me. Idk how I caught that but I did. Didn't think much of it but yea. Im not sure what happened afterwards but she started to hang out with us. During breakfast, during lunch mainly. I didn't mind, she was alright. Kinda possessive of me at times??. It was a little weird. At first i didn't know she like me bc well, I didn't ever thing a girl would have been interested in me,, ibwas a little surprised when she told me. I am unfortunately not intrest in women, ir at least i don't think i am. Im not sure how i told her but did. She was quite disappointed but she didn't stop meeting up with us and i didn't mind. But she would be really weird at times. This one time we were going on a feild trip fir Spanish class and she really wanted to sit with me so i let her. I think i slept on the ride and when I woke up, either someone told me she was watching me sleep or i felt/saw her watching me. On the same ride one of my friends has doubled me and the girl said really loudly "get your dirty hands off of her" I was shocked like,, huh?? She would often say things that made me very uncomfortable, sexual in nature. We were eating waffles for breakfast and she was making gross innuendos with the syrup about me. I was and still am very sex repulsed so it was really gross to me and I couldn't stand it. I think she was very touchy too?? I dont thinkni minded thst part too much but yea, I mean, I bearly knew her. I remember her wearing a Vanoss jacket and i was like oh damn? I wanted one of those and she told me she'd let me have it if I gave her a kiss. I think I actually thought about it but immediately after said no and told her once again that i just didn't like her like that. She seemed little disappointed but we moved on. And it was just stuff like that. I never hated her but damn she sure did know how to make me uncomfortable sometimes. But I think she's just in that since i was a total piece of shit towards her. I was honestly quite homophobic when I was in HS so I said some terrible shit to her. She much have like me a lot tho bc she never stopped being around me. I wish I hadn't been so awful towards her and wish could apologize to her but i have no was of doing so. I hope she's doing well. Sometimes I wonder what we have happened if I cad given her a chance. That would had never happened bc I was a pos but yea, I wonder. Probably wouldn't have worked out seeing how sexual she was.

Anyways related/unrelated stories over. Idk who im really into anymore irl aside from tame non human fictional characters that are men. Tho I for sure feel aesthetic attraction lol I can appreciate s pretty face any day lol

[kiaruh]

Iceland & Copenhagen

Sep 28, 2018

Fil and I arrived at the JFK airport heading to Iceland. We brought one extra bag to checkin because I assumed we were each allowed one each. Apparently we booked the Economy Lite package rather than the regular Economy package that excluded the deal. Right after the flight rep informed us that I will be charged an additional $65 for the check in baggage, I was greeted “Happy Birthday.” Yea thanks for the present lady.

Once we were seated inflight, and we immediately took Ambien. Departure time was at 8:45pm and we were to arrive in Iceland at 7am. We had to sleep. But guess what.. we couldn’t sleep. 

We arrived in Keflavik airport and exited to get in line for the shuttle bus to pick up our car rental. The line was long and we didn’t move for maybe about an hour. Fil and I even debated a couple of times whether we can just walk to the car rental. But we weren’t sure of the walking path so decided to be patient.

Finally Fil and I got in the bus and arrived at Blue car rental. We concluded we could’ve walked because we saw the walking path. Also the ride took about 3 mins.

We finally settled in our car and headed to Reykjavik to quickly get a bite before our first road trip in Iceland. On our way to Reykjavik, we noticed our first sighting of “stone cairns” which were piles of rocks stacked on top of another used for marking pathways for travelers back in the day. We also noticed right away their architecture is very symmetrical and rectangular. 

When we arrived in Reykjavik, we drove by the Hallgrímskirkja which was a beautiful church towering over the city. The car was parked in front of Brauð & Co which was the most colorful bakery we’ve ever seen. 

We then headed to the parking meter and it asked us for car’s license plate which is a bit different than what we are used to in NY. It’s a bit funny because we didn’t know that the bakery above was very known for its goods but we decided to head to Sandholt instead which was recommended by my friend’s sister who recently visited Iceland. 

Sandholt did not disappoint. Although we couldn’t sit in because there was a long line, we did a take out and oh boy those danish were incredible. Their sandwiches too were amazing. The bread was just an A++. We also ended up getting coffee from Brauð & Co and that coffee was also amazing. But the prices for those delicious goods were obscene.

Anyway we headed on our way and stopped by the first scenic view that I did not include in our stops. We just stopped for some pics and filled the water bottles (that included filters in them). The water tasted brisk and clean. 

We took a few pictures but Fil said he wanted to explore this area. I told him that we had to rush to the next stop. The first scenic stop was Thingvellir Park. The park had all sorts of different colored grass. 

We also walked up to a beautiful stream and noticed the amazing rock cliff formation. 

 We walked up to higher hill to oversee the park and visit their bathroom. I wish I took a pic of the bathroom because as I was washing my hands, I was facing a transparent wall where it was overlooking another scenic view. 

We left the park to see the geysirs. On our way, we stopped to greet some beautiful horses. I got to pet one of the horses and I was obsessed.

As we approached the geysir, we noticed the smell of sulfur in the air. Fil kept trying to take some fresh soil for his mother. But the soil was not muddy as we thought it would be. Then we stopped at the geyser. It took a while for the geyser to shoot up water so we walked around the park and noticed these other small geysers. When it finally exploded, everyone had their camera ready. 

We then headed to the gift shop afterwards and bought a gnome for Fil’s mom. Then headed straight to the Gulfoss waterfall which was my favorite scenic stop. We parked on the road leading to the parking since we saw other cars parked there even though it’s not allowed. But luckily we didn’t get a ticket. The waterfall was absolutely breathtaking. I remember staring in awe for a moment and feeling the light drizzle of water from the waterfall. I remember tearing up because it finally hit me that I was here. Ive finally visited a country I’ve been wanting to go to and the beauty of the waterfall just moved me in a way I can’t explain. I felt blessed and thankful to experience that moment and felt almost guilty that I can’t share that moment with all my loved ones. 

Fil and I walked up the hill to see the waterfall from a higher angle

We then decided to use their bathroom which had an entrance fee. We paid for it and noticed the bathrooms were worse than the ones at Thingvellir. Fil told me he left the water faucet on because he was not happy that he had to pay to pee. Who is. Then we decided to eat the ready made quinoa I brought so we don’t spend that much there. The food will do. We then headed straight to the final stop of the day which was a beautiful crater lake called Kerið. It was freezing cold when we got out and Fil even mentioned that I had to open the car door slowly because the wind was very strong. The crater lake also looked surreal. It was Fil’s favorite stop. The lake was this beautiful teal color that kept us staring in awe even in the freezing weather. 

It was getting dark so we decided to head to our airbnb. On our way, we got to interact with a herd of cows. They were so cute. We also stopped at a gas station and got some bread, instant ramen noodles, eggs and coke for our remy which we bought at JFK duty free. 

We got to out airbnb in darkness and it was cute a little box in middle of a farm. When you get inside this little box of a room, it was actually really spacious warm and chic. The bathroom was very spacious and well kept as well. I love that they also had a towel heater rack. I decided to boil some eggs for our instant ramen cups. I also realized they didn’t have oil or butter but there was oil in the ramen packages so I saved those for the morning to cook eggs. We also took shots of remy and went outside. This is the result of going outside. 

Yes we saw the Northern Lights. They were beautiful and magical. We went back inside to the cottage to make instant noodle soup and boiled 2 eggs. I saved the vegetable oil packet for the eggs tomorrow morning. Fil and I actually enjoyed the noodle soup. TBH, I had 2 shots on an empty stomach so i was very tipsy. 

I remember feeling my body slowly waking up. At a quick moment, I thought I was back in my apartment in NY like Iceland was just a dream. But then my eyes slowly opened and I saw the window overlooking the farm. It was the best feeling. It took us a while to leave the cottage because it was so comfortable. 

I wore my waterproof pants to get ready for the sights we were about to see. I stepped outside the cottage into the field and was approached by an icelandic dog. I thought he was going to bite me but he was just excited.

Fil let me to drive to the Seljalandfoss Fall. The parking was interesting since actually had to pay for parking on this one. When we approached it, it didn’t seem much. 

But then when we started on our journey to walk behind it, a couple in their wedding outfits posed a photo in front of it. How bizarre. You can tell it was very cold by the frozen moss. To actually go behind the waterfall was magical. I remember feeling water trickle down my face from the waterfall. I felt numb and my eyes felt weary but I felt a sense of being alive. I was enchanted by what i seeing. I was moved. We spend quite some time here. Fil wanted to leave because he started to feel too cold because he was also wet. 

Right as we were exiting, we noticed a woman carrying her baby and I thought, how courageous of her to bring a baby in this kind of hike because the exit was not easy since it was a bit slippery. As we got into the car, we ate a bit of the quinoa and protein bar and went on our way to the black beach. 

It was very scenic on our way to the black beach. If i can show you a video of the scenic views I would. 

When we arrived to the black sand beach, we decided to use the bathrooms outside the cafe. You had to pay to get in. We ended up waiting for someone to just leave the bathroom so we can just sneak in. It worked. 

The beach was breathtaking. Another planet. Nothing I’ve ever seen before. We spent the longest time here. It was freezing but everything moved me. Even know as I’m recollecting how I felt at the moment while i was at the beach, I felt my heart wanted to explode. I wanted to cry from complete happiness. I dreamt of this magical place and I was finally walking on the beach. I hope to bring my parents to it someday. 

We decided to eat inside the cafe and the food we had was delicious. We had an open faced sardines sandwich and a radish soup. Expensive but delicious. I remember I kept trying to put a bread on my tray but the bread kept falling out onto the floor. 2 times. So embarrassed. 

We also noticed there were bathrooms inside the cafe were you didn’t have to pay. Interesting trap they set outside the cafe for the tourists for sure.

Our next stop was a crater and it took forever to get there. We passed by land that was filled with mosses and rocks. It looked so surreal. Fil described it looking like mars. There were those stones piled up as marks for those hikers back in the day.

We also passed by a bunch of sheep farms. I was slightly sad to see them with marks but the fields they were in were so vast and they looked happy and healthy. We arrived at a questionable isolated road but Fil wanted to go through it anyway. It was rocky the whole time. Then we came at a dead end because they closed the path. We were kind of upset we went all the way to meet a dead end. Fil then decided to engrave his name on the sand with his name to mark that we were there. 

We decided to go back to the cottage since it was almost dark. We stopped by a grocery store to get orange juice, yogurt, pesto, tomato, mozzarella, frozen gnocchi, cold meat slices and a box of cheesecake. 

We got home and I made a dish with the above ingredients. Got drunk again. Didn’t get to see the northern lights that night unfortunately because it was extremely cloudy. Very dark outside. 

On our last day in Iceland, we got up pretty late at around 11am because we needed to check out by 12pm. We got ready to dress for Blue Lagoon and left our beloved Airbnb to our next destination.

As we were approaching Blue Lagoon spa, we noticed the beautiful rocks and moss formation on the sides of the road.  

We parked, took our tickets and went inside. They gave us a waterproof bracelet and handed us each a towel. The male locker room was upstairs while the women’s locker room was at ground level. It was the most organized clean locker room I ever visited. First they have rows of shoe racks where it’s necessary to take off your shoes first and switch to sandals (they offer rental sandals). 

(3 years later I’m continuing to write this so my memory of this trip might be a bit foggy)

Fil and I met outside and yes, it was freezing. But once we got to the warm aqua blue water and surrounded by fog & mist, it was heaven. I just remember this one moment, of either sitting or standing still in the water and looking out to the moss & rock formation surrounding us. I was just in awe that we were able to experience this. Regardless of the bits of random glob of hair that surrounded us at one point in one of the edges of the lagoon, the experience was relaxing and enjoyable.

Then we left for our Airbnb in Reyjavik. It was on ground level, above us was the landlord I guess. It wasn’t as amazing as the prior Airbnb but it was doable. 

Later that night, we explored Reyjavik & got the infamous hotdog which was so delicious. It might have had lamb in it. 

Then we found a small pack of weed on the floor and Fil decided to take it. We bought another hot dog on a random street and it’s also good. Then we went to a random bar and got some caption crunch drink at some famous bar that Tina recommended. The drink was all right. I just recall this extra group of American tourists who were so loud and obnoxious. So we just left and went to a cute coffee shop. Fil got tea and I had hot chocolate. The hot chocolate was extremely delightful. I think their dairy is really one of the best I ever had. We even complimented the owner of the small shop and she was actually American who moved to Iceland. She was super nice and told us to move here.

Then we called it a night and headed back to our Airbnb because we will be heading out to Copenhagen the following day.

When we arrived in Copenhagen, we went to pick up our commuter card that got us access to museums & transit. Once we used their train, we noticed that it was based off a trusting system. No one really checked for tickets. First thing I noticed about Copenhagen is for its diversity. Given they were a lot of tall white Nordic folks, there were a lot of Middle Eastern folks too. Majority seemed to be friendly. We got the square where we were supposed to take a bus to our Airbnb. Of course, we had to ask a few folks as to where to go but thankfully it was still midday so it wasn’t that bad.

When we got to our Aibnb location. I was right away breath-taken by the symmetric architecture surrounding us.

I felt oddly at peace here. Walking casually block by block just taking in the relaxed city scenery of this quirky place. We walked up to our apartment and yes it was a tiny apartment. The most memorable part about the place was that the portable shower head was above the toilet. The whole bathroom was a shower area. I’ve never come across that kind of bathroom before but hey, I lived in the Philippines so this is nothing. I also noticed there’s a lot of food left in the fridge so the Airbnb owner probably lived there. Although it was a tiny place with some minor damages in the kitchen ceiling and the bed was literally next to the washing machine, the living room was our favorite part of the place. It was modern, rustic but chic & had so much character. It was one of my most favorite common area that I ever experienced. 

Then we explored typical touristy Copenhagen sites that interested us.

the infamous mermaid statue that seems to be a tourist spot:

but hello, the architecture:

Following morning, we went to get breakfast at a vegan shop.

Off to an amazing aquarium:

then we went to freetown critiania which was thrilling and I was a bit nervous heading in there. But it was fine. 

then smoked. and went to have dinner. 

Then off to a beautiful dinner sponsored by Fil.

This restaurant was amazing. Hands down one of my favorite restaurant experience. We had plates with juice pairing (because I didn’t want to overdrink).

As you can see, I got lazy at the very end of this post to describe all the details but maybe someday I can give more details (took me 3 years to finish posting this and it’s not entirely done.) But you know what, it was my favorite trip thus far even 3 years later. Turning 30 like that felt good.

[sunshinekookie]

With or Without You

Pairing: Min Yoongi (Suga) & Reader (y/n)

Genre: A bit angsty with fluff

Words: 846

A/N: Don’t be afraid to request I’m on break from school and I have a ton of time on my hands I enjoyed this request a lot though :)

Thanks for your request :) 

Two whole years of your life had been spent in Korea. You were schooling abroad for two years and that was all about to end in a week. You spent the first half of your first year practically alone until you met Min Yoongi. You became friends very quickly and actually started to date the following year. 

You were now laying in Yoongis bed with your legs tangled together and your head resting on his chest. Music was playing softly in the background and you still had to tell him about your leaving. He was sleeping peacefully and you took in his calm state.

 “Yoongi~” you cooed trying to wake him. He just hummed in response so you began to press kisses along his jaw “Wake up” you said. He opened his eyes and tightened his grip on you. “What is it?” He said kissig you after. “You know how I’m a student here?” You said with hesitation “yea?” He said growing a bit worried at what you’re going to tell him. “My studying ends in a bout a week and I have to go home” you said sadly. He loosened his grip on you and sat up. “You have to go home?” He said “yea” you siad sitting up too. “What’s going to happen to us?” He said looking at his hands. “Well I was hoping we'd stay together and at least try to make it work” you said. He picked his head up and looked at you “why didnt you tell me sooner?” He said a little stern. “I dont know I just thought-” “I cant be worrying about you all the time!” he said interruping you. “Yoongi you know I’d never cheat” you said growing a little annoyed at him. “I dont know if I can handle a long distance-” “do you know how bad it hurts me to wait for you to come home from tour and you cant handle it? I don’t live here! this isn’t my country! I don’t know anything and it gets scary when you’re not around. I was happy to go back home and tell everyone I have the best boyfriend ever but right now I dont if I’ll go back saying I even have a boyfriend! Min Yoongi I’m leaving in a week with or without you as my boyfriend but its up to you to decide which one it is” you interrupted him with tears stinging your eyes. 

You both knew this day would come and this is not how you wanted it to go. You grabbed your jacket and left. You didn’t care about the look you got from the other guys as you knew they heard you both yelling. 

A couple minutes after you left Yoongi came out of his room and sat on the sofa. All his bandmates looked at him each one scared to ask what had just happened between you two. He looked up and scanned their faces. “Hoseok I need to talk to you” he said getting up and going to his room. Hoseok followed and closed the door behind him. “What happened” Hoseok asked. Yoongi looked at hom and told him the whole story. “I don’t know what to do I messed up help me” he said looking at Hoseok. “Go over and talk to her I bet she will want to try to make it work. I think you should at least try this long distance thing I know you guys can do it” he said grabbing Yoongis shoulder. Yoongi go up and put his jacket and shoes on and walked to your apartment. 

He knocked on the door and waited for you to open it. He was staring down at the ground when you opened the door. He looked up and saw your eyes. They were red and puffy from your crying and his face dropped at the sight of you. “(y/n) I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be so selfish I just- I don’t know what went through ny head I’m sorry. I want to try this long distance thing I really do I was just to sad at the thought of your leaving. I want you to go home and say you have the best boyfriend ever and i want that to be me. I love you (y/n) I really do” he said. You looked at him and pulled him into a hug “I love you too yoongi” you said into his chest. You both stood there clinging onto eachother for dear life. “I’m going to spend as much time as i can with you before you leave” he said kissing the top of your head. You pulled back and pressed your lips to his. Yiu broke away from him and pulled him into your apartment. Your lips reconnected with his and they moved in sync. 

After a bit you pulled away and said “can we go back to cuddling like we were earlier?” “Anything for you princess” he said kissing the top of your head and grabbing your hand leading you to your bedroom.

Masterlist // Request

[bullet-prooflove]

CSI: NY Fanfic: Complicated - Chapter Eight

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Don Flack x OC

Summary: Does it have to be this hard?

Chapters:

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven,

The diner was too quiet for Flack's liking, apparently it was the effect of the Blue Flu epidemic that was sweeping it's way though the NYPD. He didn't blame the other cops for taking the time off in response to the pay cuts they knew that were looming. Yet cops like him and Angell were old school even if they were part of the new generation. They had taken an oath to protect the city and that's what the two of them were going to keep doing, pay cut or no pay cut.

The two of them were sitting in a companionable silence across from each other in a booth. Flack was chewing on a turkey club sandwich and washing it down with what felt like a litre of coffee and Angell was pouring a boatload of sugary syrup onto a steaming plate of waffles. They were coming off the back end of twelve hour shift and in an hours time were due to start yet another. Blue flu required all available hands on deck.

"I saw what happened with you and Grace this morning, everything ok there?" Angell asked, glancing up from the newspaper she was reading.

Flack expression remaining impassive as he took another bite of his sandwich.

"You know you should eat something more substantial than that sugary crap there if we're gonna be on shift for the next twelve hours. Your gonna need something with carbs." Flack instructed, trying to change the subject.

Angell scowled at his words as Flack reached over and slid the sports section out of her newspaper and began to read it.

"I like the two of you together. You and Grace make a good couple." Angell submitted trying to draw his attention back to the subject as she sliced her waffles.

"There is no me and Grace." Flack stated, staring at the page in front of him instead of reading.

"Oh, yea there is." Angell countered, before popping part of the waffle into her mouth.

"Jess seriously..." he snapped, jerking his head up to meet her curious eyes with his hostile gaze. "There is no me and Grace."

Silence fell between them as Flack's focus returned the newspaper. Angell watched him intently before deciding to give it another shot.

"But there was." she started again.

Flack clenched his jaw, his eyes raising skywards at his partner's insistent nature. It was what made her such an excellent detective.

"I'm not letting up until you tell me what's going on." she informed him, taking a sip of her milky white coffee.

"Fine." Flack muttered, crossing his arms over his chest as his back came to rest against the back panel of the booth.

"Fine?" Angell echoed, putting her cup back down upon the table and fixating in her partner with interest.

"There was a me and Grace and now there isn't." he said, shrugging his shoulders abruptly.

Flack looked away, the muscle in his cheek twitching as he thought over everything that had occurred over the past three months.

"Grace can't commit." he submitted. "So we ended it."

"You ended it." Angell corrected, her mind playing over the events of this morning.

"I laid my cards out on the table." Flack recounted, biting his lower lip in frustration. "And her phone rings and she's gone again. I know it's hard for her to trust people, I do, but this is me we're talking about here. I am a good guy and she knows that."

"In her heart she knows that but in her mind..." Angell explained before breaking off. "She cares about you Flack, but what happened to her is scary. Nobody thinks it can happen to them especially a cop. The bastard stripped all of her power away and it's hard to build it all back up again once it's gone."

"I love her Jess." Flack confessed out loud for the first time. "I would move heaven and earth if it would wipe that fear out of her head but she's not letting me take that step. All the time it's like I'm on the outside scratching at the surface."

"She's terrified of losing herself again Don, you saw what she was like while he was abusing her. She wasn't the same Grace Sullivan after that, she didn't smile, she certainly didn't laugh the way she does now." Angell said, pushing her empty plate away. "She loves you Don, you just don't see that because your getting hung up on all the details."

"It's the details that are important to me Jess." Flack informed her, raking his hands through his short dark hair. " I wanna hold her and know she'll be there when I open my eyes, I wanna be able to tell her how I feel without worrying she's gonna bolt out the door."

Angell pursed her lips together sympathetically. Her partner had it bad for Grace Sullivan and she could see the demons that he was constantly fighting with were beginning to win. She groped for something to say, some jewel of wisdom that she had kept locked a way for a time like this but there was nothing because he was right. Don Flack deserved everything that he had just said and more.

The ringing of heir cellphones provided a welcome distraction as they both reached for the department issue phones and answered the call.

---------------------------------------------------------------

The ball was, as Grace had originally suspected, one huge ego trip for Deputy Mayor Kaplin. It consisted mainly of New York's most important people from within all of the different sectors of the city confined in one room.

The ballroom itself was stunning. There was a circular bar in the centre, where bartenders were clad in expensive black suits serving people a concoction of drinks. The lighting was low and intimate as was the music that cascaded through the discreet speakers. A banner advertising The Museum Restoration Project was hung up across a small stage along with pictures of Kaplins face beaming at the crowd to remind them why they were here. All these rich and powerful people residing in this one room...

Grace already knew that Don would have hated it.

Her hands smoothed down her dress as she surveyed the room. The silk, Calvin Klein, one shouldered dress felt luxurious on her skin as she stepped through the room gingerly on black, peep toe, spike heels. The sea blue material clung to her body empathising her curvaceous frame. Coupled with the heels, it's floor length trim gave her a lot more height. The single thick strap covering her shoulder, hid the worst of her scars from the view of her peers. If she was here with Don she wouldn't have cared about showing them off but with Brendan...

Frankly, she didn't want the questions.

Her dark hair was loose and wavy, falling just to the line of her shoulders. With Stella on her way back from Michigan, Grace herself didn't have the skill to do anything more complicated with it.

Brandon was by her side, his large muscular frame clad in a black tux that defined every inch of his masculinity. He handed her a flute of champagne he had secured from one of the many waist coated waiters touring the room.

"This is some party." he remarked before taking a sip from his glass and observing the room.

Grace set her own glass of champagne down upon a table the two of them drifted past. She'd hated the taste of champagne ever since her graduation from the academy.

"I hate doing these things." she confessed. "Stella is a lot more diplomatic than I am."

Brandon shrugged his broad shoulders, clearly enjoying the change of scenery.

"If all goes well, maybe the two of us could skip out a little early." he suggested, his breath tickled her ear as he lowered his tone. "I'm sure that dress would look wonderful on my floor."

Grace put a hand on his chest, feeling a little uncomfortable with his proximity. She knew what he had in mind and she knew there were hundreds of women that would love to take him up on that offer. Unfortunately every time Brandon touched her, it felt hideously wrong. Every little intimate thing he did sent her senses screaming one question.

What the hell are you doing?

"Your very direct." she said frankly.

"I know what I want." he stated boldly, his eyes drinking in her attire. "And I am very good at what I do."

Grace inhaled deeply, trying to ground herself as his fingertips trailed up the length of her arm. She made eye contact with him as she caught her fingers before they reached her naked shoulder blade.

" I'm not that type of girl." she responded as the lights went down in the main ballroom drawing their attention to the small stage in front of them.

Robert Dunbrook was talking about the super-sized cheque he had written for the museum but Grace wasn't listening. Her thoughts were elsewhere, she had made a terrible mistake coming here with Brandon.

She should have made Don listen to her this morning in the precinct. She should have left her overnight bag, or explained in the shower. She should have done something, anything.

Instead she had walked away just like she was always doing these days when things got tough. She wondered what Don was doing right now, if he was thinking about her the way she was thinking about him.

Above the audience the balloon net was released. Purple, white and clear balloons tumbled to the ground mixed with a dark shape that was hurtling downwards before it hit to the floor.

It took Grace a second to realize what she was actually looking at as the screaming started.

A body, and not just anyone's body.

Deputy Mayor Kaplin's.

------------------------------------------------------------

She was stunningly beautiful, he couldn't help but stare as Grace stood in the midst of the Crime Scene, a reel of yellow crime scene tape in one hand and her black beaded purse in the other. The colour of the dress highlighted her ivory skin, giving it a radiant glow as spoke with Hawkes, who was unloading the camera, they used to photograph crime scenes from it's bag.

The way that material cloaked her body left nothing to his imagination. He wanted to know what it felt like pressed against his skin as his fingers trailed down her spine, unzipping it slowly.

"Your staring." Angell commented, jabbing him in the ribs with her elbow.

Flack yelped, his hand rubbing over the sore spot as he spoke.

"Nah, I just can't believe someone killed the deputy Mayor."

"The way the city is going downhill at the moment that's probably a good thing." Angell retorted striding into the fray leaving Flack to address the crime scene in front of him.

Flack cleared his throat before taking the dreaded step forward. Hawkes gave him a brief nod as the other man stalked past him and approached the dead body,. Flack could feel his chest constrict just a little as Grace awaited him, the look on her face one of apprehension. He could be professional about this.

"Nice dress." he greeted, nodding at her attire. "Bet it was a great party before Kaplin dropped in."

Grace gave him a smile that didn't quite meet her eyes. She was weary and cautious from their previous disagreement and very thankful that Brandon had left not long ago on a call out of his own.

"You look tired." she said sympathetically.

"Blue flu." he stated with a sigh. "It's been a long day so far and it has the makings of a long night."

"Hence why I am still here in this dress, trying to tape off the crime scene. " Grace scowled, heels clicking as she moved lightly from foot to foot.

It was a notion that Flack recognized well from their years together.

"Hand it over." Flack said, holding out his hand for the tape.

"I wasn't trying to..." she broke off as he took the tape from her hand before lowering his gaze to the bottom of her dress.

"I know, but your shoes are killing you so take them off while I cordon off the scene. We don't need you breaking your ankle while we're in the midst of an epidemic." he said, raising his eyebrows as she lifted up the bottom of the dress.

Flack's mouth hung open for a second as he caught sight of the dainty, sexy heels she was clad in.

"I can think of one place I would rather be with you and those shoes right now." he found the words slipping off his tongue without a second thought.

"Stick around for a while Detective and you might just get your wish." Grace responded with a wink as she toed her shoes off.

"I'll hold you to it Sullivan." Flack warned her, peeling off the beginning of the crime scene tape with his thumb.

"Is that a promise?" Grace inquired pouting. "And do I get to use the handcuffs?"

"Your a bad girl Grace." Flack said rolling his eyes and tossing the tape to her. "For that your taping off your own damn crime scene."

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[supraveng]

Moving On (2/?)

part 1

Summary: you have to confront your past….what could go wrong

Characters: former Bucky Barnes x reader, Sam Winchester x reader, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Steve Rogers, Thor Odinson

A/N:  here is the angsty piece, it will have at least 2 more chapters; does not follow any MCU story line; attempting an MCU/SPN crossover; let me know if you want to be tagged in the next chapters

@iamwarrenspeace  @mythandmagik   @lieswithoutfairytales​   @bbmommy0902  @hailmary-yramliah  @jessyballet

Returning back to the compound after the 3 day mission was bittersweet,  you missed your daughter but not being able to get Roman locked up made you want to continue the task until it was truly completed.  By the time you made it back, it was late and everyone was sleeping but you were far too wired to sleep any time soon so after checking on Joy and Kevin, you made your way to the common room for a night cap.  

Everyone had their own post mission tradition, Sam and Steve hit the gym, Nat and Wanda headed to the movie room, but Bucky was in the kitchen making food. You walked in to get ice for your whiskey and froze in the doorway just watching him. 

He addressed without turning around "hope you are hungry, I made a lot more food than I can eat''   “only if your cooking skills have improved, I don’t want food poisoning” you joked as you stepped closer and took a deep inhale of the food he was making.  

Looking at him shocked, “you’re making curry chicken?”  “Well, i know it’s your favorite and we haven’t had time to sit and talk, so consider this a peace offering” he shyly smiles at you while he hands you a full bowl and nods his head toward the table.  

“Go sit, I’ll grab us a few beers and join you”, you smile and nod as you sit down at the table and slowly take your first bite.   The food is amazing and you are completely shocked that Bucky threw this together, he was never one to do more than boil water or call for take out. 

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence while you ate, it was nice being friends with Bucky again, but you knew you need to discuss what went wrong if you wanted to truly restore your friendship.  

“Well Barnes, I am impressed, this is delicious” you told him with a smile.  “I’m glad you like it, and if you are going to be here more often, I’ll learn to make some of your other favorites” he grinned at you.  

“Bucky..” you sighed “I don’t think I’ll be back in NY much, I’m based in DC now and I have a great life there, I miss the team, but this isn’t my home any more” you tell him solemnly.  

“I thought we were going to talk, so we could fix us, you aren’t even gonna give us a chance?” he was angry and you didn’t understand why.  He was the one who decided he didn’t want to be with you any more.  He made that choice and you were the one to figure out how to live with it.  

“Bucky, I agreed to talk and get our friendship back, but there can’t be an us. I’m sorry, but It’s too late for us” you try to remain calm but you are shocked that he thought one dinner would fix everything.  

“I still don’t know why you dumped me like you did, and that was hard for me to deal with, but then seeing you a week later with some up and coming model on your arm at Tony’s party, it made me understand that what I thought we had was never real.   I had no choice but to move on, and right now, I’m not even sure there is a friendship to salvage” you stood and cleared your plate, rinsing it and placing it into the dishwasher before looking back at Bucky.  

“I don’t know what else to do here, so I’m going to turn in before either of us say anything we are going to regret. Goodnight” and with that you headed towards your room.  Immediately getting back into your room, you checked that Joy was still sound asleep, then headed to take a long shower.   

The heat from the water washing away the stress from the failed mission and the tension in your muscles from the short conversation with Bucky.   After drying off, you went to pull your pj’s from your clothes when something else caught your eye, an oversized plaid flannel shirt was tucked among the t-shirts you had packed.  With a huge smile on your face you buttoned up the shirt and crawled into bed, falling asleep almost instantly with the added comfort surrounding you.  

~~~~

Before you had fully woken up there was a knock at your door, you opened it to find Bucky with a sheepish grin.   “I was hoping to talk to you before things got crazy, can I come in?” you nodded and stepped to the side.  “I came to say that you are right.  Steve helped me understand that it’s not fair after all this time to expect you to forgive me or take me back, and obviously you have a family now, but i wanted to apologize and explain what happened” he told you as you both sat on the couch.  

“Thank you Bucky, and I accept your apology, but there’s no need to explain, we’ve both moved on and it's in the past.  I know you are a good man, and whatever made you decide to end things was probably to spare me in some weird way.  I’m ok, and I’m happy where I am now, and that wouldn’t have been possible if we hadn’t ended the way we did.” you smile at him, almost thanking him but you weren’t there yet.  

“Yea, you’re right, let’s move on and be the friends we used to be, please?”  “That works for me” you stood up and hugged Bucky, as mad as you once were, he was a good person and deserved forgiveness.  Just as you were about to speak you both heard the soft murmuring from Joy in the next room.  

“I need to get her, but can we join you for breakfast?”  he nods as he heads back out to the hallway.   By the time you were heading into the common room, most of the team was there in multiple varieties of awakeness.  

When FRIDAY announced a visitor coming up in the elevator you gave a questioning look to Tony who just shrugged.  You were too busy cutting up fruit and pancakes for Joy to notice that the elevator had dinged and footsteps were coming towards you, until they stopped behind you, Joy’s eyes lit up and she screamed “daddddyyy”.  

Turning around you gasped when you saw your fiancé standing behind you with a big wonderful grin.  Joy was crawling out of her chair as quickly as her little legs could carry her in order to reach her father as fast as she could.  He immediately scooped her up and pulled you into a hug, his warmth and scent making you feel calm and relaxed, home, you thought.  

When you finally broke apart and Joy started yammering on about all that had happened since you arrived you looked over at Tony, who was surprisingly quiet.  You wanted to question him, but the only thing that came out was a huge thank you.  

Once Joy settled you thought it best you introduced him to the team “So, everyone, this is Sam Winchester, honey, these are the Avengers”  you gestured to the table of your longtime friends.  “I can’t believe you are here, and so early” you joked.  

“What can I say, I missed my girls so much I ditched my morning run and hoped on a flight” he shrugged before leaning in to kiss Joy on the forehead.  

“Well, we were headed out for our run, we can wait for you to change if you want to join us?” Steve told him without really thinking about the whole situation.  

“Heck yea, running with Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes, I’m not passing up that opportunity” he almost yelled with excitement.  You giggled at how star struck he seemed, remembering how he was very nonchalant the first time he met Tony, until you were back at your apartment and he could fangirl all over.   

“Is that ok? I just got here, I don’t want to just bail on you, babe” he asked almost worried about your response.   Shaking your head you waved him on “it’s fine, go and enjoy your run” he placed a kiss to your lips before heading off to change.   “my daddy wun weally fas” Joy told the table and you just nodded as you laughed.  

“Well, you guys have a good run, and hey, now Steve and Bucky each have their own Sam to lap” you and the others laughed as the four headed to the elevators.  

“You don’t seem worried about Bucky and Sam spending time together” Nat mentioned as you started to clean up from breakfast.  “I’m not, Bucky and I talked, he apologized, I forgive him and Sam already knows everything, there’s nothing to worry about” you told.  

“Everything everything, or the cliff notes everything?” she asked.   Always the interrogator you shook your head and smirked at her.  “Everything, everything, this is the man I am spending the rest of my life with, he knows it all” 

“Even the kinky shit?” Wanda whispered, hoping your daughter wasn’t hearing the conversation.  You laughed harder and turned toward the two of them, wondering how much you should divulge.  

“Let’s just say, Winchester kinky is on a whole different level than Barnes kinky…..and I am done discussing this topic with little ears close by”  you left the two women gawking as you took your daughter to get cleaned up and dressed to spend the afternoon playing with Morgan.  

Once you had gotten yourself ready for the day, you headed to the gym for a light workout with Nat and Wanda knowing the previous conversation would probably come up again.  As you arrived in the gym you were surprised to see Thor, he had just arrived from Asgard and brought you into a bone crushing hug almost immediately.  

“Lady Y/N, it has been too long, but you look as radiant as ever.  I heard you have brought a suitor with you on this visit, I wish to meet him, find if he is truly worthy of you.”  Blushing you smiled at Thor, he was always so respectful and made you feel far more honorable than you usually did.  “Yes, he is currently on a run with the guys, there’s no telling how long they will be gone”

You were feeling a bit sore from the mission, so decided that some light weights and cardio would be enough for the day, considering it was technically your day off since there had been no new leads on Roman.  Taking a water break you looked over to find the guys coming back from their run.  They were all smelly and dripping in sweat but seemed to be getting along.  Sam came rushing over to you, picking you up and swinging you around with a huge grin on his face. 

“I take it you had a good run?” you smiled up at him once you got your feet back on the ground.  “It was amazing, you never told me how incredible this complex was” he was panting but still seemed happy about the overexertion.  

When you saw Thor approaching, you took a small step back from Sam and attempted to introduce the two.  “Lady Y/N, I assumed your suitor was of Midgard, but he’s much larger than most, sir, are you Asgardian as well?” he asked as if that would be the only logical explanation.   

You busted out laughing, but you calmed down as Sam explained he was born and raised in Kansas and not Asgardian.  Before you could fully understand what was happening next, you see Thor and Sam stepping up to spar.  

“Woah, Thor, he’s not Asgardian, I don’t think this is a good idea” you told them. 

“Lady Y/N, I understand in your delicate condition you are concerned, but I assure you no harm will come to the father of your children” Thor announced as he got into his ready stance.   

“My condition?....children?” you mumbled looking between Thor and Sam trying to figure out what he was talking to.  

“I apologize if I overstepped, I was unaware you being with child was a secret” he told you earnestly, almost worried you would be upset.  

“I what?”  “You’re what?” you and Sam both responded, looking at each other and then back at Thor, dumbfounded.  

“Were you two not aware?” he asked with a smirk, after you both shook your heads no in response he practically cheered “Surprise!” 

Part 3

[statierogers]

Hello Neighbour - Steve Rogers

Title: Hello Neighbour

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve just sucks at hiding his real Identity. (post Civil war)

Words: 1510

Warnings: None

Genere: Gonna go with Fluffy.

A/N: Okay I got inspired to write this while I was sweeping our veranda last week. Cap didn’t come by there. :D

- Katie xx

My Masterlist

Your name: submit

What is this?

(Y/D/N) - Your dad’s name

(Y/M/N) - Your mom’s name

°°°

Retirement was something to look forward to for most people. Well, not for Steve Rogers. Maybe it was because none of those people were forced to retire. Steve was still in his best days. He was over 70 years old but had the body of a 25-year-old. He could still chase those bad guys around if it weren't for the fact that he was a wanted fugitive — just some annoying detail for him.

After he freed his friends from prison, Steve had to lay low. His decision was Michigan. A small village called South Lake (I just made this up btw). He lived in a quiet neighbourhood. This was what he wanted pre-serum, to live in a place like this with a wife, a couple of kids and a dog. But when he joined the army, he wasn't so sure anymore if this was the right life for him.

At first, he shut himself in his house. Not making contact with anyone. Until it got too dull for him, so he decided to help out around in the neighbourhood. Funnily enough, his disguise which consisted of a beard he grew and flannels held up. That or people just didn't care enough. His life was quiet for weeks. Nothing really happened here. Not until one day a black Audi drove into the driveway of his neighbour's house.

The cute little house belonged to (Y/D/N) and (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N). Steve was currently chopping wood in his backyard when he saw a young woman leave the car. And God was she stunning. Her hair flowed over her shoulders, framing her beautiful face, that had a smile on it the moment she heard the dog barking. She wore boots and skinny jeans and a trench coat. Steve knew she must have been from a city somewhere. Her stylish clothes, sunglasses, and the fancy bag didn't fit in here. His eyes followed her as she entered the house. He felt like he had seen her before. Her face was somewhere in his memory, but he couldn't place it.

It took Steve three days to see the woman again. And this time he couldn't believe it was the same person. Because there she was, in wellingtons and her hair in a ponytail. She was sweeping the fall leaves of the veranda while humming some song he didn't know. He watched her for a bit. Still thinking he knew her. After a while, he realised it was creepy to stare at her like this. He decided just to go over.

"Ma'am do you need some help?" he asked while stepping onto the driveway.

She stopped sweeping and looked up at him. She propped her hands on her broomstick and slightly raised her eyebrows. The woman looked somewhat suspicious of his kindness, definitely from the city. Steve decided to try to introduce himself.

"I'm Steve…the neighbour," he said, pointing at his house dumbfounded.

The woman gave him a once over. This was the friendly neighbour, Steve, her parents had told her about. The moment she had entered the door on Wednesday, her mother had tried to set her up with him. She kept on talking about how strong and handsome he was but also how kind. She didn't know then that this Steve was Steve Rogers. And she was a hundred percent sure her parents did not notice that their neighbour was a superhero. She saw it the moment she looked into those eyes. She had met this man before. About five years ago in the Battle of NY. He had saved her from one of those creatures. She also knew his situation. The government declared him a dangerous man. Something about him not signing something: he wasn't supposed to be here. He was a fugitive. All though she didn't believe that. How could someone like Captain America suddenly be evil? Especially someone who saved her life. And maybe it was because of this or because he was looking at her with a carefree smile she never saw him with on TV, but she decided to play coy.

"So, you are the guy that helped fix my Dad's old motorbike," she said with a smile.

Steve nodded slowly. It was weird seeing him like this, in a blue flannel and with a beard. At least he stayed true to his colours.  It made him look more approachable. It took away his intimating stare. It made him look…normal. Like he was just a neighbour.

"Yes. I did," he answered.

(Y/N) nodded and gave him a quick smile. She stepped down the stairs of her veranda and stretched her hand out. He was quite a bit taller than her.

"I'm (Y/N)," she introduced herself.

His hand shook her's, and she couldn't help but stare at his muscled arms. She couldn't deny how handsome the ex-soldier was.

"My Dad said you are quite good at the heavy lifting. I have a few bags of garden soil to be lifted to the bed in the back garden," she mentioned and tilted her head in the direction of the pickup truck.

Steve agreed to help her with a smile. She didn't know why she asked him; she could do it herself.  And this was Captain America she had to use his strength to her advantage. He grabbed two bags and lifted them with ease while she hosted one up.

"So, Steve. What brings you to South Lake?" she asked him.

They started walking around the house to the garden gate that was wide open. Steve shrugged his shoulders. He decided to stay as close to the truth as he could with his answer.

"Well, It's an escape, really from the city life. I used to live in Brooklyn," he explained.

(Y/N) nodded and decided to see if he would tell her who he was. She was curious how he would lie his way out of it.

"Oh, really? I live in Brooklyn. I used to live up in New York. Man, I still miss this flat. So sad…Oh, drop them here," she said and pointed at the floor next to the flowerbed.

He did as told. It took (Y/N)'s dog less than a second to leave his comfortable spot in the garden and start sniffing at the bags of soil. He probably thought there was food in there. (Y/N) was watching him smiling.

"What happened to your flat?" Steve asked, staring at the dog.

Okay, maybe she was playing with him.

"It got destroyed in the battle of New York. That was a crazy day. I even met Captain America. He saved my life," she said innocently and waited for his response.

Steve realised now why he knew her. It was true. He had saved her. Her talking about him made him very uncomfortable.

"Oh really… I have to go now," he said, pointing behind him.

(Y/N) had to suppress a smile. She was just messing with him. He turned around and started walking off. He didn't want to be rude. But the conversation made him wary of her. Something was wrong.

"Yea, of course. Was nice seeing you again Cap," she called after him.

Steve froze. She knew. Crap. He would have to leave now. He didn't want to threaten the beautiful young woman, but he would if he had to. Slowly he turned around. Shocked. His surprise was even bigger when she had a genuine smile on her pretty face.

"No worries Steve. I won't tell anyone. I still owe you one for saving my life," she said.

And Steve believed her. Maybe it was stupid. But she looked so genuine and nice he couldn't not believe that face. He nodded the relief clearly seen on his face.

"Thank you (Y/N)," he mumbled, giving her a nod.

The smile on her face made his legs feel like jelly for two reasons. First, it was beautiful, and he had never seen a woman look at him like this and second, it scared him. She knew who he was. And she shouldn't. It was dumb of him to think that no one would ever find out. But that it had to be her bothered him. What would she think of him?

"No problem neighbour," she said and squatted next to her dog, putting her hand in his fur.

It didn't matter that she knew. He would just have to call a few friends if word got out. He lifted his hand to give her a small wave. Then he turned around to walk out of the garden.

"The captain seemed to understand because

the next day the cap' went out and drafted a band.

And now the company jumps when he plays reveille

He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B."

Steve couldn't stop a smile spreading across his face as he heard her sing the song.