#yea fuck anxiety
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#gettr#geets#gettr posts#mod murrit#since the last one breached contentment#aka people who dont use gettr found it#uh do i tag this#fuck it#centricide#warrior cats#yea fuck anxiety#im one of the few jreggers on gettr#despite it being a mainky political app#ok ill stop rambling in the tags now#ok but now i think ancaps voice works too
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me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))
#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to#sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now#yay? i guess#also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious#also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now#bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree#but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow#now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should#not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually#super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta#just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year#ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr#studyspo#bookblr#booklr#study#november 2024#2024
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Been on a rayman nostalgia trip with @lynnbutlertron and they insisted that I should post these here!!!! Shout out to the 6 rayman x globox fans on the entire internet
#my art#Rayman#Globox#Rayman origins#Rayman legends#Rayman 3#Raybox#I know Raybox is the name of the rayman globox skin but any other ship name just doesn't hit as hard and rayfrog is already a THING NOW!!#No hate to the Rayfrogger nation though like I fuck with y'all I get you guys#But yea Globox is 101% stoned in origins and legends i'm glad he got his therapy weed for his anxiety#Globox being able to hit through walls is still so fucked btw he actually gained stoner powers
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batman #333
[ID: three panels of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul over the course of a day. In the first one, Bruce has his cowl on but is sitting shirtless on their bed in the early dawn hours after getting severely injured on patrol the night before. Talia rushed to help him with his injuries as he started to talk about the burdens and trials of tomorrow—which caused Talia to caress his face and promise, “There will be time to worry of the future soon enough. But for now you must relax... You need comforting. I can give you all you need... And more.” Bruce admits, “Talia, you tempt me...”
In the second panel, it's the same day but they're dressed to go outside the ski resort they're taking refuge in. Talia is holding onto his arm as he was talking about the mission before he tells her, “But that's tomorrow. Tonight, well... First, dinner.” Talia smiles softly and prompts, “And then...?” Bruce responds, “Then we'll discuss that comforting you mentioned earlier.”
In the third panel, it's that night. They had dinner and dodged an assassination attempt, which caused Bruce to start to talk about the even bigger dangers that awaits them tomorrow. Talia gently tells him, “The moon is so beautiful, Bruce. Too beautiful to be wasted worrying.” They kiss in front of the moonlight and Talia reminds him, “We talked about comforting...” END ID]
#hope you guys don't mind I'm now just posting all the panels i was gonna use for that thingy here#because like.... ough.#just them being sad moon themes.... also i was telling CJ this but over and over by sinatra themed.... yea.... :(#bruce's overthinking and anxiety causing him to cockblock himself consistently is so.#also he hasnt slept once in 48 hours i KNOW hes gonna be a dead fuck 😭😭#girl leave him you deserve so much better..... ill eat u out.... we can sway in the moonlight together.....#c: batman | i: 333#crypt's panels#bruce wayne#talia al ghul#brutalia#also ignore i sloppily edited that first panel entirely JFIFHFK
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i'll be like "i'm a god of writing" and then an hour passes after i post or submit something and i'll be like "i'm so dumb there's so much i could've done better if only i'd waited a bit and looked at it with fresh eyes i would've noticed how much it sucks & what i could've improved that looks so much like first draft material there's so many revisions i could make why i am i so impulsive and overconfident" and then i'll start writing something else and be like "i'm a god of writing" again
#the woes of having both a superiority and inferiority complex#also i think this might be similar to how i only get performance anxiety AFTER the performance is done. i'm always like this#i'll be super chill before a play & during it but then the play ends and i'm like “fuck they must've hated my acting” or whatever#or i'll be super chill while singing but then it ends and i go “man i sung way too quietly & i think i was out of pitch i suck”#and once again as soon as i go back to doing it again i go “wow im super great at this im amazing”#on related news i applied to a zine with 2 out of 3 snippets being ones i started writing as soon as i decided i was actually gonna apply#& i decided i wanted to apply 5hrs before i sent the application#so uh. i wrote ~2.7k words within 5 hrs & didnt give myself time to edit it bc im a dumbass w/ no concept of time#(“the applications close jan 2nd so i need to get this done asap” dude there's like a week til then why the rush- oh youve already sent it)#tbf they're more like 2nd drafts? one is a scene i'd kind of written b4 but w/ the intent of no one seeing it so i completely rewrote it#& the other is a very VERY loose eng translation of like the first quarter of one of my one-shots. when u compare its more of a rewrite rly#but still i'm looking at them now & im getting 2nd thoughts i shouldve waited eughhh#if you're a mod of that zine pls look away hahahaha.....#unless you liked those last 2 snippets & r impressed with the fact they were rushed. if so then yea im a god of writing ik ik#but to be fr tho i actually think snippet 2 is pretty strong but i think the 3rd one is... very weak. there's not much cohesion#like i def could've added more connective tissue. i was just a bit over half the wc limit so that was def smth i couldve done. ugh
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Ha ha I don't know what I want to do with my life and I feel unsatisfied with my current condition!
#i just feel fuckin hollow#i mean i wanna make art again for real now but i dont feel good#my lifes shambles right now and i dont know how to tidy it right now#ill find a way tho#whether through brute force. sheer luck or even professional help ill do it#positive apathy is hoe im feelin i guess#id like to be a barista. or work in one of those niche little stores where you get to hang out mostly#id like to learn to properly garden#i love flowers and i like chillin outside pullin out the weeds#yea that sounds nice#although theres no job opening rn that really jump out to me. and im scared to leave my current job#its a pretty good job but i hate having to wear a uniform and i generally dont feel very happy#my coworkers are lovely. my bosses are great and my pay is phenomenal but i just wanna do something else#i liked working in the bakery for the short time that lasted#idk im tired and zonked the fuck out#god I'm gunna become a stoner arent i ..#anxiety bad. brain terrible#womp womp#delete later
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Whyyyyyyyy did I decide to go to Florida on fucking Election Day I hate it here
#my aunt said something about Florida being efficient in counting their votes#and I was like yea except for that time in 2000#and both her and my uncle were surprised I remembered that (I was 8)#of course I fucking remembered it’s the first time an election gave me anxiety 😭#which was definitely more me picking up on my dad’s anxiety rather than understanding what was going on but still
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#anxiety is high today#sorry i complain so much here fnennfhd#u can block this tag i wont mind at all#i literally feel paralyzed by it like#would just like for this new anxiety medication to work please and thanks#this too shall fucking pass but my god it needs to hurry up#maybe ill go put this into writing something about john having an anxiety attack for the first time in a human body#yea ok#to write#caspost#just want 2 feel normal for one fucking day
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I have a friend without anxiety and honestly their kinda whack. Like what do you MEAN you don’t think over every interaction ever after it’s over and over anylize it in your head because you think you bonked it what the fuck sounds fake
#i litterally cannot#imagine this not being a thing#this is just#a part of social interaction for me#I’ve had anxiety over worrying people would jugde me for#thinking the way I like my hot chocolate is stupid it is envevble I’ve got ways to deal with it dw#don’t worry about making me worry I’m going to do it anyway#yea atlas if you see this post it is about you what the actual fuck how do you exist
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Time to do that thing where when I can't make myself feel better I try to help other ppl again here we gooo
. You're not an annoyance . You're not a burden . You're more than what you create . No, everything you make is not terrible . The spark of creativity will come again . You will one day feel proud of what you create again . You're not alone in your pain . You're not "faking it" . People don't think you complain 24/7 just bc you're going through it . Fuck it even if you do complain a lot you're allowed to . Keeping everything to yourself and bottling shit up is not strength . You do not have to be quiet about what hurts you . You're allowed to feel bad . You're allowed to make mistakes . You're allowed to take up space . You're allowed to speak and be loud . You're allowed to make things for yourself and nobody else . Healing is not linear . Other peoples' hardships are not more valid than your own . If it hurts you, it means something . If something small hurt you, it means something . If someone close or even a stranger hurt you, it means something . If you're sad for no reason, it's ok . If you're scared for no reason, it's ok . It's ok to sleep with the lights on . It's ok to reach out for help . It's okay to cry . It's okay to struggle with eating/sleeping/getting out of bed . You're enough . This will pass
#fuck off depression#fuck off anxiety#fuck off imposter syndrome#I know healin isn't linear but jesus christ#it'd be nice to have a couple good days in a row#but in any case yea#I hope I can help make some ppl feel a bit better#mental health
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having to take a course that’s literally just listening to the brutal ways people died in car accidents really doesn’t make me wanna get behind the wheel of a car i’ll be real with you
#ooc#moopisms#yea hi i never got my driver’s license bc i was in a really bad car accident with my mom 11 days after i turned 18#i wasn’t driving but ! i was in the fuckin car ! and i never finished my driving lessons lmfao#so already i have anxiety about this and now having to. sit here. and be reminded YOU MIGHT DIE#is not good for my anxiety !#i have anxiety about other things rn so that’s not helping dhfbjfjd but fuck me#vent /
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screams. whatever it doesnt even matter
#ive moved on genuinely i really have#sorry i just. ough. it makes me so upset sometimes. like the fuck man#idk. its. a weird situation for me to be in#i have a lot of issues w/ callouts and shit and especially being in them so its. idk.#its difficult for me to talk about ''rationally'' because once i start it all just kinda comes pouring out.#but anyways. yea. hate those freaks. i refuse to name names publically im. eye twitch. above that.#ok. whatever. whateverrrrrrrrrrrr#ok bye. im never talking about this ever agin ough fuck my anxiety is so high. good god#txt
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#hate acknowledging that ppl are right abt simply leaving the house helping ur mental health#today's the best i've felt in like. god knows how long#and literally its just bc i left my house nd followed my plan of getting a free hot choco#grabbing some quick stuff from the asian market#and getting my nails done#there was nothing special#in fact the shopping nd hot choco part was quite anxiety inducing#id never been tothe hot choco place; had a hard time finding it; and then had a very typical for me Blind As Fuck moment going into the#cafe and being utterly confused#nearly wiped out bc there were stairs up (couldn't see them)#couldnt figure out where the register was to order#nearly crashed through half the cafe tables (couldnt see them & couldnt find the path)#when i DID figure out where the register was there were more stairs down for me to Almost fall down#(could! not! see! them!) thank god for railings.? banisters? whatever#also then i was confused abt the counter. DEADASS could not figure out where the person was who greeted me for like a full min and a half#then couldnt figure out which side of the counter to pay on for a sec#played it off as tho i was looking at the menu lmao#in reality i was just getting hot coco bc i had a coupon to get it free#fuckin ridiculous actually to realize how utterly incompetent i am in new places#esp going into somewhere dim from bright snowy outside.... not good for my eyes bro#anyway i made it through and the asian market was easier but crowded w/ narrow aisles#but yea for w/e reason all that nd getting my nails done resulted in me feeling GREAT in a way i havent felt in ages#long story short: go outside even if its absolutely fucking freezing and snowing
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House MD, my beloved 🖤
#way back in lile 2014. i found out my mom had cancer in the middle of watching house md#idk but thats really funny to me. i think bc my dad made me pase the episode. we had the conversation. and then i was like ok well#id like to go back to watching thr cancer show now if were done sitting in awkward silence now. which is like a goblin thing to do#but like it wasnt a huge shock bc we knew she had a tumor and all that and i didnt understand how to relate to ppl as well back then#but yea did not stop me watching house for even 2 seconds. and almost 10 years later my mom is still getting cancer treatment#booo. fuck that 👎👎👎#idk the amount of anxiety in my body today has been unhinged and i thought. what will make me feel better?#the medical malpractice show. and i was right lol#its fun to watch him solve the problems and i love wilson#unrelated
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I'm going insane. Since when do anxiety attack states of being last ALL DAY.
#my heartbeat has been over 100 most of today#my resting usually sits at like 65-80 depending on how fast I'm walking#I was sitting in lecture at 112! insane.#I have 62 active minutes on my FitBit lmao I have done in fact less physical activity than usual (no gym about usual walking for Wednesdays#(maybe a bit less)#and my stomach has been fucked up all day!#I have a normal amount of mental clarity I'm only a little bit having mental/psychological anxiety#it's like primarily physical. I can't focus because of it this is so uncomfortable#lmao I mentioned to one of my friends (? maybe?) they were like 'how are you today' while in chem lab#I was like 'I'm evil today but it's ok it happens' they were like 'huh what does that mean'#I was struggling to figure out what I wanted to tell him lol we are not very close#so I settled on 'yea I've been having some sort of anxiety attack all day'#told him about my 112 bpm in chem lecture wooo#they were like '??? is that normal???' I was like 'no lmao but it's fine it just usually isn't this Long'#it's like fine because I can still do like lab and get to classes I just can't think very well#I can follow directions and it's best if I can keep moving y'know#alas. anyways#I'm giggling about this because my Mind is fine my Self is normal my body just feels like shit#I have a doctor's appointment next Thursday and I have parties this weekend so I'll be fine I think#I might have to lighten up on my SGA duties though which SUCKS but I need to pass my classes#anyways
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hc that after skybound jay never uses the phrase "i wish"
like, at all. he'll go "i hope" n such but he never says "i wish"
and if someone asks him "don't you wish ___" he will kinda tense up and only ever respond without saying it
also he still kinda hurts from when the others were being mean during skybound (though it was sometimes deserved)
i mean its not like they ever apologize either i dont think
he has to suffer alone in his trauma and i think thats important
#i fucking love jay as a character#like yea sure they sometimes portray him in a bad way but like#he has anxiety and you cannot tell me otherwise#he got consistently beat up for DAYS#and TORTURED#and he still jokes#goddamnit if anyone tells me jay is weak i will. actually punt them#ninjago jay
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