#yea fuck anxiety
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#gettr#geets#gettr posts#mod murrit#since the last one breached contentment#aka people who dont use gettr found it#uh do i tag this#fuck it#centricide#warrior cats#yea fuck anxiety#im one of the few jreggers on gettr#despite it being a mainky political app#ok ill stop rambling in the tags now#ok but now i think ancaps voice works too
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me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))
#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to#sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now#yay? i guess#also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious#also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now#bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree#but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow#now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should#not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually#super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta#just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year#ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr#studyspo#bookblr#booklr#study#november 2024#2024
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Been on a rayman nostalgia trip with @lynnbutlertron and they insisted that I should post these here!!!! Shout out to the 6 rayman x globox fans on the entire internet
#my art#Rayman#Globox#Rayman origins#Rayman legends#Rayman 3#Raybox#I know Raybox is the name of the rayman globox skin but any other ship name just doesn't hit as hard and rayfrog is already a THING NOW!!#No hate to the Rayfrogger nation though like I fuck with y'all I get you guys#But yea Globox is 101% stoned in origins and legends i'm glad he got his therapy weed for his anxiety#Globox being able to hit through walls is still so fucked btw he actually gained stoner powers
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batman #333
[ID: three panels of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul over the course of a day. In the first one, Bruce has his cowl on but is sitting shirtless on their bed in the early dawn hours after getting severely injured on patrol the night before. Talia rushed to help him with his injuries as he started to talk about the burdens and trials of tomorrow—which caused Talia to caress his face and promise, “There will be time to worry of the future soon enough. But for now you must relax... You need comforting. I can give you all you need... And more.” Bruce admits, “Talia, you tempt me...”
In the second panel, it's the same day but they're dressed to go outside the ski resort they're taking refuge in. Talia is holding onto his arm as he was talking about the mission before he tells her, “But that's tomorrow. Tonight, well... First, dinner.” Talia smiles softly and prompts, “And then...?” Bruce responds, “Then we'll discuss that comforting you mentioned earlier.”
In the third panel, it's that night. They had dinner and dodged an assassination attempt, which caused Bruce to start to talk about the even bigger dangers that awaits them tomorrow. Talia gently tells him, “The moon is so beautiful, Bruce. Too beautiful to be wasted worrying.” They kiss in front of the moonlight and Talia reminds him, “We talked about comforting...” END ID]
#hope you guys don't mind I'm now just posting all the panels i was gonna use for that thingy here#because like.... ough.#just them being sad moon themes.... also i was telling CJ this but over and over by sinatra themed.... yea.... :(#bruce's overthinking and anxiety causing him to cockblock himself consistently is so.#also he hasnt slept once in 48 hours i KNOW hes gonna be a dead fuck 😭😭#girl leave him you deserve so much better..... ill eat u out.... we can sway in the moonlight together.....#c: batman | i: 333#crypt's panels#bruce wayne#talia al ghul#brutalia#also ignore i sloppily edited that first panel entirely JFIFHFK
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Ha ha I don't know what I want to do with my life and I feel unsatisfied with my current condition!
#i just feel fuckin hollow#i mean i wanna make art again for real now but i dont feel good#my lifes shambles right now and i dont know how to tidy it right now#ill find a way tho#whether through brute force. sheer luck or even professional help ill do it#positive apathy is hoe im feelin i guess#id like to be a barista. or work in one of those niche little stores where you get to hang out mostly#id like to learn to properly garden#i love flowers and i like chillin outside pullin out the weeds#yea that sounds nice#although theres no job opening rn that really jump out to me. and im scared to leave my current job#its a pretty good job but i hate having to wear a uniform and i generally dont feel very happy#my coworkers are lovely. my bosses are great and my pay is phenomenal but i just wanna do something else#i liked working in the bakery for the short time that lasted#idk im tired and zonked the fuck out#god I'm gunna become a stoner arent i ..#anxiety bad. brain terrible#womp womp#delete later
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Whyyyyyyyy did I decide to go to Florida on fucking Election Day I hate it here
#my aunt said something about Florida being efficient in counting their votes#and I was like yea except for that time in 2000#and both her and my uncle were surprised I remembered that (I was 8)#of course I fucking remembered it’s the first time an election gave me anxiety 😭#which was definitely more me picking up on my dad’s anxiety rather than understanding what was going on but still
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#anxiety is high today#sorry i complain so much here fnennfhd#u can block this tag i wont mind at all#i literally feel paralyzed by it like#would just like for this new anxiety medication to work please and thanks#this too shall fucking pass but my god it needs to hurry up#maybe ill go put this into writing something about john having an anxiety attack for the first time in a human body#yea ok#to write#caspost#just want 2 feel normal for one fucking day
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Btw guys i actually asked 4 help while at school in the woodshed class fuck yeah I got sm done and I asked for help!!!
#tbf i did spend like. 15 minut4s staring awkwardly at the wood and trying mot to shrivel up in shane at the idea of asking for help#but.#I DID ITTT#and the girl i asked was. rlly fucking nice#and so was the teacher even though he was alr talking 2 sm1 else so win#and neither of them seemed annoyed at all.#so#idk#enea rambles <3#first day back at school after missing a week to be sick#i love being the good kid who all the teachers like lmao#(<- i say lmao but i think if had a teacher that hated me i would just. completely fucking fail that class-)#anyways whoo!#and i talked to!!!#2 new ppl!!!!#irl!!!!!!!!!#idk this sounds stupid here lol but thatis that hard as fuck for me irl#like uh. fucking. very hard#Shame + Embarrassment + Anxiety make very sure of that heh.#nut yea!!!#but*
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I have a friend without anxiety and honestly their kinda whack. Like what do you MEAN you don’t think over every interaction ever after it’s over and over anylize it in your head because you think you bonked it what the fuck sounds fake
#i litterally cannot#imagine this not being a thing#this is just#a part of social interaction for me#I’ve had anxiety over worrying people would jugde me for#thinking the way I like my hot chocolate is stupid it is envevble I’ve got ways to deal with it dw#don’t worry about making me worry I’m going to do it anyway#yea atlas if you see this post it is about you what the actual fuck how do you exist
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Time to do that thing where when I can't make myself feel better I try to help other ppl again here we gooo
. You're not an annoyance . You're not a burden . You're more than what you create . No, everything you make is not terrible . The spark of creativity will come again . You will one day feel proud of what you create again . You're not alone in your pain . You're not "faking it" . People don't think you complain 24/7 just bc you're going through it . Fuck it even if you do complain a lot you're allowed to . Keeping everything to yourself and bottling shit up is not strength . You do not have to be quiet about what hurts you . You're allowed to feel bad . You're allowed to make mistakes . You're allowed to take up space . You're allowed to speak and be loud . You're allowed to make things for yourself and nobody else . Healing is not linear . Other peoples' hardships are not more valid than your own . If it hurts you, it means something . If something small hurt you, it means something . If someone close or even a stranger hurt you, it means something . If you're sad for no reason, it's ok . If you're scared for no reason, it's ok . It's ok to sleep with the lights on . It's ok to reach out for help . It's okay to cry . It's okay to struggle with eating/sleeping/getting out of bed . You're enough . This will pass
#fuck off depression#fuck off anxiety#fuck off imposter syndrome#I know healin isn't linear but jesus christ#it'd be nice to have a couple good days in a row#but in any case yea#I hope I can help make some ppl feel a bit better#mental health
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having to take a course that’s literally just listening to the brutal ways people died in car accidents really doesn’t make me wanna get behind the wheel of a car i’ll be real with you
#ooc#moopisms#yea hi i never got my driver’s license bc i was in a really bad car accident with my mom 11 days after i turned 18#i wasn’t driving but ! i was in the fuckin car ! and i never finished my driving lessons lmfao#so already i have anxiety about this and now having to. sit here. and be reminded YOU MIGHT DIE#is not good for my anxiety !#i have anxiety about other things rn so that’s not helping dhfbjfjd but fuck me#vent /
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House MD, my beloved 🖤
#way back in lile 2014. i found out my mom had cancer in the middle of watching house md#idk but thats really funny to me. i think bc my dad made me pase the episode. we had the conversation. and then i was like ok well#id like to go back to watching thr cancer show now if were done sitting in awkward silence now. which is like a goblin thing to do#but like it wasnt a huge shock bc we knew she had a tumor and all that and i didnt understand how to relate to ppl as well back then#but yea did not stop me watching house for even 2 seconds. and almost 10 years later my mom is still getting cancer treatment#booo. fuck that 👎👎👎#idk the amount of anxiety in my body today has been unhinged and i thought. what will make me feel better?#the medical malpractice show. and i was right lol#its fun to watch him solve the problems and i love wilson#unrelated
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I'm going insane. Since when do anxiety attack states of being last ALL DAY.
#my heartbeat has been over 100 most of today#my resting usually sits at like 65-80 depending on how fast I'm walking#I was sitting in lecture at 112! insane.#I have 62 active minutes on my FitBit lmao I have done in fact less physical activity than usual (no gym about usual walking for Wednesdays#(maybe a bit less)#and my stomach has been fucked up all day!#I have a normal amount of mental clarity I'm only a little bit having mental/psychological anxiety#it's like primarily physical. I can't focus because of it this is so uncomfortable#lmao I mentioned to one of my friends (? maybe?) they were like 'how are you today' while in chem lab#I was like 'I'm evil today but it's ok it happens' they were like 'huh what does that mean'#I was struggling to figure out what I wanted to tell him lol we are not very close#so I settled on 'yea I've been having some sort of anxiety attack all day'#told him about my 112 bpm in chem lecture wooo#they were like '??? is that normal???' I was like 'no lmao but it's fine it just usually isn't this Long'#it's like fine because I can still do like lab and get to classes I just can't think very well#I can follow directions and it's best if I can keep moving y'know#alas. anyways#I'm giggling about this because my Mind is fine my Self is normal my body just feels like shit#I have a doctor's appointment next Thursday and I have parties this weekend so I'll be fine I think#I might have to lighten up on my SGA duties though which SUCKS but I need to pass my classes#anyways
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hc that after skybound jay never uses the phrase "i wish"
like, at all. he'll go "i hope" n such but he never says "i wish"
and if someone asks him "don't you wish ___" he will kinda tense up and only ever respond without saying it
also he still kinda hurts from when the others were being mean during skybound (though it was sometimes deserved)
i mean its not like they ever apologize either i dont think
he has to suffer alone in his trauma and i think thats important
#i fucking love jay as a character#like yea sure they sometimes portray him in a bad way but like#he has anxiety and you cannot tell me otherwise#he got consistently beat up for DAYS#and TORTURED#and he still jokes#goddamnit if anyone tells me jay is weak i will. actually punt them#ninjago jay
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I’ve not been like super active on tumblr recently outside of posting bc the way my dashboard gets wonky on mobile is annoying enough for me to not wanna scroll much most of the time but I wanna try to be more active bc I like interacting with people on here n everything <3
also. I forget to follow people back. a lot. for very long periods of time. so if you see me in your notifs no you do not 🫶
#textpost that I don’t think qualifies as a silly thoughts#I don’t make a lotta those but maybe I should make a tag for these anyways#I should probably tag my posts better in general but. eh.#anyways yea. 🫶#my socially anxiety extends to social media and I think that’s fucked up and I’m trying to get over that#I wanna interact with people more I prommy I really do
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Fun fact ur ferritin should be 30-50
Mines 7 :)
#gonna fight every doctor that refused to do their job and called me dramatic#over 20 fuckin years of this of feeling like my body is slowly dying#that’s not the only thing that’s severely low either#like my iron is relatively normal but that’s all they ever tested#no one ever bothered looking further meanwhile my iron saturation is almost nonexistent#idk how u can have normal iron but no iron saturation but apparently that’s possible#we don’t know yet but we are betting I either have celiacs or graves#and I’m really hoping not celiacs cause my diet is already very limited if I have to cut out what little I can eat#I might as well just get a feeding tube I’d be starving if I have to cut out stuff for celiacs#we think my body can’t process proteins either don’t know the answer on that one yet#but I’m pretty confident that’s true#considering meat makes me painfully sick#ghost rambles#anyways over 20 years of being called dramatic and a hypochondriac and I was fucking right#genuinely I think there should be some kind of repercussion for doctors who refuse to test or listen to patients#it shouldn’t have taken this long to have some tests ran#and we don’t even know what it is yet just know that I have proof now I wasn’t lying#the amount of doctors that belittled me saying it’s anxiety or I want attention or that bullshit#I had a licensed professional ask if I’m sure it’s not just hunger#and yknow what yea I’m pissed at all the ‘professionals’ that let me live in so much pain and barely able to function#all because no one wanted to believe me
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