#yaoi fic no questions asked

[joeyclaire]

the poor characterization in the south park yaoi fandom is so annoying smh no one knows them like me

Ros if it was anyone but you posting about this nonstop I would have peaced out so long ago. but you are my buddy so you can do whatever you want forever

[brofightiscancelled]

if you had the option to erase one of the 6 motherfuckers forever and no one will remember he existed, which one would you pick

choro

[neallo]

YURI, that means GIRL X GIRL, don't like don't read!!!!!

a quick list of death note yuri fic recs. please note this is an off-the-cuff list & features genderswapped yaoi ships fairly heavily. this is because i write for and read for mello x near first and foremost. i DO have a few remisa and kiyomisa recs, PLUS canon x reader recs... so we are going for a good wide variety here <3

important: i am not listing content warnings of any kind on any of these. most of them fall under the AO3 category "No Archive Warnings Apply," but you alone are responsible for reading the tags and summary for yourself after clicking through and before reading!

encouraging everyone to leave kudos & comments on these! show authors your love! <3

[divider credit]

Misa Amane / Rem

gracefully strung by your hand rated E | 1,862 words

Rem often wondered if Misa’s pleasure was art; Rem certainly thought of it as an act of creation. She was convinced that no other human could create with their body in this way.

Made You Smile rated G | 816 words

“Hey, Rem?” Misa screws on the lid of the nail polish bottle she was fidgeting with, leaning back against her pillows to get a good look up at her friend’s face. “I have a question, is that okay?” “Of course.” Rem turns to her, as permissive as ever. “I will do my best to answer.” She always does. Misa smiles slightly, then beckons her closer. “Actually, I have two. Can I paint your nails?” Rem studies her like she doesn’t quite understand, but when Misa doesn’t clarify or take it back, she hesitantly extends one of her long arms. Her hands are entirely bone, with long thin fingers, and slightly cool to the touch. Misa approximates where Rem’s nails would be if she had any and unscrews the lid again, beginning to apply the red polish in a neat, round oval. “Okay, and my other question…” Misa looks up at Rem, then down again. “What makes you happy?” --- Amane Misa is endlessly endeared towards and endlessly curious about her new shinigami companion.

Misa Amane / Kiyomi Takada

Ruby rated E | 8,307 words

Sometimes she really hates herself. She'd invited Misa to dinner with the intention of maintaining a composed and calculated demeanor throughout, sitting tall with her head held high as always, cementing her position above her. Certain nothing could cause her to lose her footing. But as Misa smiles like a devil across the table, her lips painted like a berry, shining like a ruby in the low light, Kiyomi can feel the control slipping through her fingers. Misa chips away at her, strips the presentable image she so carefully crafted and reveals a side of her she'd kept under lock and key. Not like herself at all. ...Or maybe exactly like herself.

folie à deux rated E | 1,768 words

If Misa were truly devoted, like the sinner that she is, she would have confessed that night while writing her name in pink ink that, in the low light, would of course look red, bloody and terrible and real. Misa did none of these things; instead, this time she took the initiative to ask Kiyomi to dinner.

Canon / Reader

turndown service (misa amane x reader) rated E | 1,571 words

Misa wants a goodnight kiss from Y/N, and who is Y/N to deny her?

cloud (kiyomi takada x reader) rated E | 1,467 words

After a tryst with Misa, Y/N steps outside for some fresh air. Who do you find, Miss To-Oh herself, having a smoke and a midnight snack.

Mello / Near

(see here the neallo-only version of this list)

polar night rated M | 8,119 words

Mello still remembers the time when the collar in Near’s shirt had been twisted, and, without thinking, she reached to fix it, her fingertips grazing the warm skin of her neck. Mello had felt Near’s eyes on her the whole day, and her own hand burned until the next.    But Near's hair is something out of her reach; there’s almost no excuse for her to touch it, and the request is weird itself. Her pride works as a break, a halt in her intent of embarrassing herself by even asking in the first place. Because Mello knows very well that if she ever starts, she may never stop.  Sometimes, she really doesn’t trust herself. But Near does.   Maybe Mello isn’t the stupid one out of the two.  -- [the one where Mello's body is made out of nothing but a sadistic brain and a masochist heart]

Lay Odds rated M | 3,505 words

Nat River, a strange orphan girl adopted and brought to London by the Great Gentleman Detective 'L', is following the footsteps of her adopted father as the Lady Detective 'Near'. When L's case brings him to America, he insists on bringing Near with him to New York. There, the sensitive, shut-in Near is drawn into the wild parties and terrible violence of mafiosi, bootleggers, and drug dens. When a gangster's case practically lands in her lap, she must work to prove that old-world deduction can prevail among new money murderers.

Coast-to-Coast rated E | 796 words

"I miss you." "You do?" asked Near. "Fuck off," snapped Mello. "Get on a plane." "It's the middle of the night," said Near. "So? Airports don't close."

Powder Keg rated E | 2,014 words

Mello stops by Near's room for a late night visit after getting her photo back earlier that day. Near has a certain... fixation.

Steeplechase rated T | 1,025 words

Mello wakes up before dawn and finds the horses in the stables. The groom is already up. There's mist on the track. The barn is alive, and it's cool out. or; Horse Girl Near & eternally undone Mello.

Blur rated E | 2,765 words

Near calls Mello back to the SPK's HQ, but she doesn't want to talk.

L / Light

Lavender Haze [with podfic] rated E | 9,017

Freshly back in Japan, L lets Matt take her to their favourite lesbian bar, where she lays eyes on Light Yagami — a strange, petulant butch girl who may or may not have attempted to murder her own husband. L would very much like for Light to take her home. or L is unhinged levels of horny for a girl she met zero seconds ago.

Hear No Evil rated E | 4,497 words

Misa presses the elevator button and heads up, up, up, all the way to Light's room on the sixteenth floor. She gets halfway down the hall before she realizes that something is off. "Please," someone who sounds very much like Light is saying, from behind Light’s bedroom door. Misa pays her girlfriend a surprise visit after-hours at the Kira Task Force headquarters, and overhears what she believes to be a brutal interrogation. After a tense bout of worried eavesdropping, she intervenes to save her. Light puts the "light" in "gaslight." L is also there.

[connorsjorts]

beloved connorsjorts, I am new to the fandom! I was here in 2018 when the game came out, but I was also a kid. Grew up and have now realized how romantic the Hank and Connor route was.

Do you think it was on purpose?? Or did they accidentally insert incredibly gay vibes bc the buddy cop genre is inherently homoerotic or something??? I mean they had the Tracis so they aren’t against gay couples or something, but there’s a world of difference between gay side characters and gay main characters in gaming, if you know what I mean??? What does it all mean???

Anyways, love your fics!!! You slay every day.

Hi and welcome to the fandom!! I hope you’re having a great time, and thank you so much for your kind words about my fics 🥹💖💖

I really wanted to write an in-depth response to this, I wrote out bullet points and everything! But feeding my baby is literally a full-time job rn and it would have taken an embarrassingly long time to turn those bullet points into something coherent considering that this ask has already been sitting in my inbox for a week 🫠

So, in the interest of ensuring that I actually answer your question: The short version is that while David Cage is unfortunately homophobic, imo that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t use a queer narrative for his own gain 🤷🏻‍♀️ He already did something similar by making the game an allegory for race—he uses social issues to make his stories seem Important. So I think it’s plausible that Connor’s story revolves around intentional queer subtext, and that yes, Hank plays a “love interest” role on some level. But because gay men make Cage uncomfortable and he didn’t actually want his Cool(?) White Man character to be queer, we’re left with remnants of this idea on the thematic and structural level only. Which like, thank god, in terms of the story—the man is not subtle, can you IMAGINE how over the top it would be if he had followed through.

Fig 1: Dramatic reenactment of the Eden Club in a version of the game where Connor Detroit is allowed to be gay

I feel like this is an unpopular opinion (I think most people think it’s just 100% accidental) but if anyone wants me to plead my case in Old Man Yaoi v. That Coward David Cage lmk. Otherwise I’ll be busy plunking out my next Human Disaster Connor fic 😌 Thanks for your question!!!

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

You know what, fuck it: Baldur's Gate 3 Thoughts.

(The world is so so bad right now, can't even name all the bad things, so fuck it, no more bad feels, just some nice garbage right now)

I really love that the big 3 pairings all kinda arrive together:

Lae'zel and Shadowheart are already trapped on the ship together, like they are both trapped by their beliefs. They both know more about what's happening than anyone else and are also perhaps the most frightened.

Astarion and Gale show up stuck and as potential bait. They're both concealing some pretty big problems. The only way to succeed with them is to trust them despite this. And they both badly need to bond with others so they can survive their ordeals.

Karlach and Wyll actually already have a relationship, just one founded on misunderstanding. They can each empathize with each other in ways the others can't and adjust quickly to thinking of a previous adversary as a friend. They both have so much going on that when they arrive on the Sword Coast, they just resettle into business as usual. They've both been misused by those with control over them and seek to break that control, even if that doesn't fix everything, even if it means more loss.

They're all good ships, I love them. And all the other combos are good too, there are no bad options here, but I'm a bit of a sucker for these. Honestly, really appreciate having an entire party of bisexuals. I love that so much <3

Gale and I are the same person ha ha ha FUCK

I do have fic ideas, potentially for Gale & Astarion and Lae'zel & Shadowheart (spoilers below)

Like, I actually have a lot of feelings about Shadowheart being a complete dick to Lae'zel while she goes through a crisis of faith, only to eat pigeon pie later when she gets a crisis of her own.

And I'm obsessed with the idea of Lae'zel learning how to be comforting as she watches Shadowheart crumble apart, as she loses all sense of identity. Because at least Lae'zel has that. Lae'zel lost a lot in parting from Vlaakith, but she didn't lose who she was. Indeed, she left in defense of who she was, in defense of what she knew to be right. Shadowheart doesn't even have that. And it's a wild thing that comes over you, to feel like you've fucked up and lost and to find someone you can actually help. I think it would be a really cool and beautiful thing to see, Lae'zel helping Shadowheart find the pieces of herself. That would just be really, really good.

And then there's Problematic Old Man Yaoi over here

Maybe what I love best about Gale and Astarion is how much fucking WOULD NOT solve it

Like, some people just need to fuck it out and then it's all good, you fixed the issue

And 100% fucking would not solve their shit. Like, it would help, or it certainly wouldn't not help. But it'd only help like... max 20% The rest has to be solved by Talking, Using Your Words, Talking To Other People No Not The Imaginary Conversations, and Admitting When You're Wrong.

I also love that this is true no matter where you think they get together.

Like, let's take Act I: I cannot IMAGINE how Astarion could talk Gale into bed that early. Gale "Never Nude" Dekarios who's never had a crush on anyone who wasn't Mystra. He'd be shaking and fumbling just trying to ask Astarion on a date. And Mr. Emotionally Available over here, who is not ready to be vulnerable in any sense, who uses sex as a crutch because it's so familiar and so easy to dissociate from... yikes, what a combo. Poor Gale would be sent reeling by the hot-cold of it, he'd act insane those first few days after sex as he tries to make sense of how Astarion said yes to everything, but didn't mean it, but also he did? So should he pursue that or leave it be? Is the best choice to let Astarion thaw in his own good time or obsessively work on cracking this because Astarion clearly needs help and just doesn't want to ask for it? Stupid question, OBVIOUSLY the second! I... instant explosion. God, it would go so bad. Honestly, the good version is Gale resists the invitations and instead Astarion sulks for a few days over his blue balls or just fucks someone else, thus giving Gale a new case of mixed signals to obsess over. Jesus, we're just never going to escape that are we? Wizards gotta fixate.

Act II: In which Astarion chooses to ignore his own problems by instead arguing with Gale about his. Not because he's invested, merely because Gale is clearly being an idiot. Gale at first demurs, refusing to be argued out of his guilt, but then when Astarion becomes more insistent, counters with why Astarion cares so much? This would inevitably erupt in some kind of sexual encounter, but the fighting wouldn't stop because despite getting laid, Gale is still sure he's right and Astarion is still sure he's right. Dick actually can't solve this today. The camp mournful of ever finding a solution, they would like to sleep peacefully again someday.

Act III: Make or break time. Both Gale and Astarion escalate as the threat of death or destruction looms ever nearer. Gale now just as dead set on stopping Astarion from destroying himself as Astarion is on stopping Gale from destroying himself. Same threat, very different outcomes. Gale keeps looking at him with those damn puppy eyes and whining about "he'll regret it instantly" and "hate who he becomes" and "I can't stand to see that happen to you" or whatever. Obnoxious. And Astarion keeps trying to convince him that Mystra was wrong, that she "manipulated and groomed" him and "didn't even give an explanation" which he's owed, or some such nonsense. As if an inhuman, all-powerful goddess was out of line for being afraid of mortal actions... wait, was that a logical inconsistency? Damn. I think Gale would convince Astarion first. I think deep down Astarion would hate to be a full vampire too much, I think they both know it, and when Gale promises to stand by him, to take care of him, to always protect him... As much as Astarion doesn't want to trust, knows he's a fool for trusting, he agrees. He won't do it. He won't take the power. Because, damn him, he believes Gale. And what would suck is Gale would go "Cool! I'mma become a god, I can protect you way better then!" like entirely missing the point. And Astarion would be galled, deservedly so, by the hypocrisy. But Gale's so caught up in how sure he's right and how sure he's wrong, he's not even listening. I think it'd piss Astarion off so much, he'd convince the whole camp to kidnap Gale so he can't go sacrifice himself, full "He won't get the chance to kill himself because I'll do it first!" Until we finally get to the Nether Brain and... Astarion lets him go. Because that's the point. Trust isn't real if there isn't a choice. And as much as he hates the fact that Gale might choose what he doesn't want, he has to let him do it on his own. And I think that'd finally break through. That simple act of trust and sacrifice and playing willing to lose would finally make Gale go "Oh... oh god, what was I thinking? This isn't right." The fact that Astarion loves him more for the flawed and fallible person he is than for the heartless god he could become... That would finally make Gale see, Mystra was wrong all along and she never loved you because she can't really love. Not like that. Yeah. That's a personal favorite of mine.

But there's also a lot to be said for post-end, Astarion with nowhere to go and Gale going "You know... I've heard of spells that allow creatures form the Underdark to safely experience sunlight. We could try some of those, I don't see why they shouldn't work on you." and Astarion being floored and not even having the words for everything he feels at that offer. And then the raw sexual tension of living in his tower together as "friends" as Astarion mercilessly pines and Gale blissfully carries on, unaware until Tara finally goes "That's it! I can't take it any more! I'm going to live with your mother until you two sort this out!" and flies off. Leaving Gale to go "Huh... wonder what she meant by that?" Meanwhile, Astarion can hardly stand to be in the same room with Gale because he ends up basically drooling and yet, he can hardly stay away, staring obsessively from the shadows, creeping around wherever he is, looking exactly like the jealous lover he longs to be. Also, Astarion and Gale's mother! Oh, I can't wait! Too funny!

Oh, tower days with Astarion would be so good as he tries to adjust to having a life again. A slow, painful process, but very deserved. He'd need an occupation, he can't have nothing to do. Maybe he can look into magistrating again?

Anyway, there's some thoughts. I haven't finished Act III yet, but I'm close so I guess careful with those Act III spoilers.

Also, for anyone still reading, if you want to do me a solid: There exists somewhere a Bloodweave fic where Astarion walks in on Gale with a construct of himself only there's a twist... and the author is Very Correct about this twist. if you know, you know. But I can't find this fic anywhere! Please help a girl out if you've read the one I'm thinking of.

[chaifootsteps]

Please don’t remind me of the red string of fate…Viv you said “I wish I could ask people why they call my awesome queer writing fanficy” I’m telling you. It’s this ‘soulmates’ cliche. It’s full of painful cliches that stereotype gay men as weak and helpless, wrapping back to being homophobia again. As a woman how is she some authority how to write gay men anyway?

I don’t really buy that Viv hates anime because her romance writing is inspired quite heavily by the “BL” genre of anime. Or maybe she grew up on fanfic and doesn’t realise how much of it relies on BL anime tropes. But not the tame stuff. The heavy stuff that really calls the authors understanding of consent into question. One belief in toxic BL/Yaoi is that “R*pe is impossible if it’s your soulmate and you were written in the stars”

That’s probably how Vivzie justifies all this. “Yeah Blitzø was forced into it but does that even matter if their souls and sexualities were perfectly compatible cosmically aligned?” Shes so caught up in the stolitz fanart and ao3 fics, that she doesn’t realise this is one step away from saying the victim asked for it.

As someone who also grew up on a heavy diet of the BL genre and will defend it as its own distinct flavor of the bodice ripping genre, agreed completely. Rape in BL/yaoi is treated as a minor inconvenience at worst, and that's (arguably) fine when it's Tall Seme and his neighbor/classmate/underling at work/indentured sexual servant who cries a lot and whose butt is self-lubricating, but it doesn't work if you're trying to tell a very serious story about the importance of consent and healthy communication.

Most people who lived through that era realize this. Even the BL genre itself knew this. But Viv doesn't.

[olderthannetfic]

i was listening to the fanficmaverick podcast episode you did on fanfiction history, in which you mentioned (~55 min in) that you were one of the main people writing the terms of service for AO3 and bringing up the types of "would this be allowed" test cases, that these were not "oh it's a slightly problematic kink" but "violent snuff porn of gillian anderson, not scully, but gillian anderson" — and that you all eventually landed on "kinda gross, but legal in the US, and therefore would host." question: was this the most contentious case? any other memorable/notable test cases, or other interesting discussions you can remember?

i'd also love to hear more about how the major archive warnings were decided on — on what basis were these chosen? which others were considered? — if you happen to know!

sincerest thank you for all the work you've done for fandom and the preservation of fandom history. ❤️ seriously, such a feat, and so interesting!

--

I think even then my personal level of wallowing in annoying wank or looking at horrifying fic was vastly higher than everyone else's, so this was pretty much the example we looked at.

Though, if you want to laugh, astolat's original post is still up on LJ with the comments, and there were totally people going "I'd be interested in this new archive project, but not if it includes RPF!" or "Not if it includes any underage fic at all!" etc.

--

On usenet in the 90s, there was somebody or somebodies who were reaaaaally into that specific type of snuff story. I remember noticing how many of them involved not only hangings but very specific imagery of one high heel falling off. I was 13, so I really couldn't tell you if it was one dude with a specific fetish or genuinely super widespread. But it made an impression.

The alt.sex.stories hierarchy was a wild time.

Anyway, in practice, badwrong RPF of female celebs that sounds like it's aimed at straight dudes ends up on fetish sites for whatever the fetish is, not on fic archives for the most part, but I thought it was a useful example because it was so far into actually offensive to AO3y types. We're not talking the weaksauce shit people are always asking me about on here like "Oooh, what if someone posted [bog standard slash trope] to AO3?" as though it's a gotcha.

--

Man... were there other test cases? I'm trying to remember. This was all in like 2008, and of course, I didn't keep internal documents when I left OTW. Not that half of this was stuff I'd have had documented on my computer anyway.

My memory is that the general shape of the content policy had been decided by the founding Board before Content Policy started up. I don't think we were actually making the ruling on RPF ourselves.

I'm pretty sure most of what we were up to was looking at wank and trying to determine how to head off shitty behavior with the ToS. Trying to define harassment is a mega pain in the ass, let me tell you.

One major internal wank there was was deciding whether to allow Original Work. I was the one who'd been in anime fandom, and I was very used to archives that have an original section, often for the "original slash" and "original yaoi" that had nowhere else to go at the time. (These days, you'd just become a "m/m romance" author, as I in fact have.) Fanfiction.net had spun off its original years ago at that point, but a lot of the non-English archives and a lot of the archives in other parts of English-speaking fandom found fannish-but-original to be a normal thing.

I am a grudgy bitch, and I am still not over how much pushback I got on this.

AO3 went live with a ban on original work, but the policy never ended up being heavily enforced. We waited to see what would happen with posting, and it was predictably that people from those backgrounds outside of US Media Fandom posted some original without even thinking it might be banned, but they didn't post so much it overwhelmed the archive.

The big fears had been that #1 people would flood AO3 and drown out the fic. This was predicated on the idiotic notion that original = inherently not fannish, so there's no dividing line. In reality, the people who were used to posting original to fic archives had an internal sense of what belongs and what doesn't. Fear #2 was that people would try to post chapter 1 of a commercial story and then go "See here to buy the rest". Little did we know that this would soon be a problem with fucking fan fiction itself. (Also, commercial spam was always against the rules and needed no extra anti-original work rule.)

People didn't just disagree with me: they looked at me blankly.

Pretty sure I vented about this on that podcast too though. Anyway, most of the shit people find contentious now was already decided before we started writing the ToS, I think... though I don't really remember clearly. We were more looking to plug up holes in the rules that nitpicking trolls could use to harass.

The kinds of things we were deciding were often like the policy that AO3 doesn't necessarily tell you if someone reported you. If they need info, they'll contact you, and if they decide you broke the ToS, you'll hear about it, but obviously bogus reports don't get passed on. This is to remove the temptation to use the team as a proxy to harass a target. An official e-mail, even if it's "You're fine, actually", can be disturbing.

--

Re the warnings themselves, I know I'd done a survey of what archives were out there at the time and had come up with a list of a few dozen. This was early on in OTW's development process, not just for Content Policy. You can still find the list somewhere on that LJ group. Anyway, for the ToS writing, we looked at the commonplace warnings from archives past, which were basically character death, character death, and also character death.

It always cracks me up when people are like "Um, rape makes sense, but how dare they downplay these other bad things with a character death warning?" Old fandom places were full of unwarned for rape, but woe betide the person who posted surprise character death of a main ship!

We needed an under-18 warning because we had a lot of Australian fans who were like "Dude, my government is a bitch, and I cannot use this archive at all if I can't filter that out". Past archives had mostly just banned it entirely or been full of death eaters raping teenage Harry Potter characters with nary an underage warning in sight.

I don't remember why we picked the violence one. It really wasn't common, but maybe we wanted to make a philosophical point that sex doesn't have more cooties than violence.

CNTW was a compromise with older fandom standards where people objected to literally any warnings existing. A lot of the really oldschool warnings debates aren't about which ones you should have but about whether you should have them at all.

I think people around here miss how non-universal warnings are and how many other communities and spaces even today don't think you need all that.

I don't recall if we seriously considered any specific others. I don't think we had a big list, then ruled them out. It's more like we accreted a few must-haves as we went along. We probably looked at the metadata for the eFiction archives that actually had ticky boxes for search (as opposed to the very low-metadata norm on many archives). But a lot of those filters would have been fandom-specific or redundant or hella vague.

One thing to keep in mind is that this was an Era of Archives, so there were fucktons of examples to look at, though only a few flavors of example since a bunch used eFiction or otherwise copied each other's design. It was possible to make some judgements about past norms on archives, not just go "Are we copying FFN or not?" A lot of fans now see fic hosting as the big three or see AO3 as the only option, but we were used to having many archives with many designs.

I know we wanted a short and manageable list of warnings, and we wanted unambiguous things that could be effectively enforced. If I'm populating my hard-coded 90s website with other people's fics, I can go through each for dubcon before I post it (not that you'd ever have warned for dubcon in the 90s). On a big fic archive, making judgement calls on vague ass categories like dubcon is a nightmare.

We did do some focus groups where other interested fans came in and critiqued our work. I can't recall how much was about our ToS wording and how much was about the actual policies. But we did workshop this shit extensively with people who were around at the time. I think many of the whiners now assume it wasn't enough of a community effort (since we didn't decide things they like). But actually, a bunch of people weighed in. Maybe elf remembers what we actually asked them. I think she was in a focus group.

[missfrustration]

thirty-six pushups (serirei mp100 nsfw fic)

rating: explicit 18+, minors do not interact!

pairing: serizawa katsuya x reigen arataka

tags: pwp, smut, anal sex, fingering, top serizawa, bottom reigen, sweet/hot, hand jobs, boss/employee, office sex, desk sex, first time, loss of virginity, spit as lube, whimpering, old men yaoi, and yes pushups.

A/n: as soon as the pushup challenge on tiktok started popping off, I knew I had to make this. guys IFKYK. on ao3 here!

word count: 4.9k

-------------

“I’m telling you, Serizawa! If Mob can do it, I can too!” 

Reigen stands before Serizawa in the Spirits and Such Consultation Office, looking childishly proud.

This conversation sparked after Serizawa and Reigen finished up with their last job of the day. A gym owner claimed their dumbbells would randomly fall on the toes of guests. After briefly searching the facility, they exorcised the spirit of a washed-out bodybuilder who was spiteful of anyone more buff than him. The owner promptly thanked them with a lifetime membership, even inviting them to compete in a push-up challenge. 

Although caring, Reigen decided to turn them down. Serizawa asked why Reigen didn’t participate. 

“Ah, you see, Serizawa. I have been creating my secret training regime where I have reaped better benefits than going to some sweaty gym.”

On the way back to the office, Reigen revealed the details of his secret training regime: the Remote Psychic Muscle Activation Technique. Reigen uses his psychic powers to target each muscle in his body, producing his "current muscular physique." Thus, he was confident he would win that competition and didn’t want to hurt those gym bros' egos. However, the more Serizawa asked questions, the more Reigen shifted around to find answers. 

Once arriving at the office, Reigen had beads of sweat dripping down him, which he immediately wiped off with a towel when he reached his desk. Serizawa enjoyed hearing about his boss’s stories; it was another side of Reigen he didn’t experience in the office. It was refreshing to Serizawa to hear Reigen talk about whatever he wanted just for him to listen. 

After Reigen wiped himself off, he continued with the discussion on push-ups. They mentioned Mob’s recent accomplishment of doing 35 push-ups in a row, which both men were amazed by. 

Thus comes the current conversation. Serizawa stands in awe of Reigen, smiling back at his boss, “I think you can too, Reigen. You could do anything if you put your mind to it.”

Reigen face warms up, swatting his hand as to dismiss him. He bashfully shakes his head, saying, “Come, Serizawa, that is too nice of you. Alright, I have made up my mind. Watch me as I perform the most pushups humanity has known!” 

Serizawa is pleasantly surprised that his boss would want to demonstrate something like this in front of him, “Oh, I believe in you. You can do it!” He quietly claps as he sits down. 

In a flash, Reigen swiftly slips off his suit jacket and undoes the buttons on his dress shirt before tossing it, revealing the white T-shirt hiding underneath. Reigen hits the floor and gets in position.

In reality, Reigen doesn’t have a plan. Hell, the last time he worked out was the last time he jogged with Mob for his marathon, and even then, he tapped out after 10 minutes! 

He looks back at Serizawa, debating if he should smooth talk his way out of this or not. Serizawa looks back with awe and determination in his eyes, ready to see his boss ace this challenge. The twinkle of excitement in the hues of his pupils strikes a chord in Reigen. How could he possibly turn down a face like Serizawa’s?! 

He sighs in self-defeat, now knowing he has to do it. He can’t flake right now, not after all that talking up! He probably could pull it off if he did those modified pushups… no, but girls usually do that.

“Okay, here goes,” Reigen is unprepared for what the next few minutes will bring him. Nevertheless, he inhales deeply and starts.

“One! Two! Three! Hey, this is easier than I thought!” Reigen says pleasantly. “Piece of cake already.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, sir.” Serizawa says, “Keep going!”

Reigen feels warmth on his cheeks from the compliment Serizawa gives him. A boost of motivation hits him immediately, and he keeps his arms pushing like a hot knife on butter.

“Six. Seven. Eight. Nine-”

Reigen immediately recognizes that his mouth feels dryer. His arms are starting to shake. There's a slight tremble in his voice after counting each rep. 

This is not a good sign for Reigen. 

“Ten.” He stammers. Reigen feels weak already. “Hahaha, man. Eleven.” Maintaining his previous swagger in front of Serizawa is getting more challenging now. Screw it. He will just have to keep going until he can’t anymore. 

“Twelve. Hahh.” A now-winded Reigen pauses to catch his breath before continuing to push out more in hurried intervals rather than the past cadence he started. He manages to push out 3 or 4 reps each time before needing a few moments to recuperate. Slowly, though, Reigen finds it more challenging to keep a strong voice. 

“Twenty-two. T-twenty-three.” Reigen accidentally whimpers but doesn’t give up hope. Sure, he sounds like a total weakling, but as long as he shows he can do enough, maybe Reigen can squeeze away with all the panting by his ad-libbing. He can’t bear to see Serizawa’s face in the middle of this; he is way too embarrassed.

Serizawa quickly notices this but doesn’t think much about it.

“Twenty-four.”

Of course, that is the best way for Serizawa to help his boss create a positive work environment! Supporting others is always necessary.

“Twenty-f-five.”

There is nothing more than professional work going on, after all.

“Hahh. Hah, twenty-six.”

A disciple should support their boss just as much as Reigen helps him.

“Twenty-seven.”

So why does Serizawa feel weird? Why is his face so hot and his chest tight?

“Twenty-eight.” Reigen whimpers again as his arms begin to shake.

Serizawa can’t believe what he’s feeling. It’s an overwhelming feeling he hasn’t ever had to this degree. Not with anyone but… 

“Twenty-nine.”

Serizawa knows. He’s felt this way about Reigen dozens of times since they met. Whether it was the first act of kindness when Reigen offered to hire him, the times they would eat lunch on break together, or how much it meant to him when he smiled. He’s felt this way about Reigen before, but not to this degree.

Thirty.

Serizawa knows what this is now. Reigen’s noises are starting to make him feel very unforgiving thoughts.

Thirty-one.

Serizawa can’t help but imagine Reigen moans like that for different reasons. He can’t help but think of Reigen moaning because of him . He’s been holding it back since he first realized what he was thinking, but the need got increasingly hungry.

Thirty-two.

Serizawa can’t keep his erection down. He has never needed to handle himself this hard in public, much less in the office--only in his private time. He feels the pulse in his groin, straining increasingly against his tight suit pants. He has an animalistic desire to touch it, palm it, do anything to take care of it. But Serizawa is in the worst position for this. 

Thirty-three.

Serizawa looks at Reigen, panic in his eyes. He can tell Reigen might stop any moment. Oh god, Serizawa can’t stop thinking about the most degenerate things. The thought of Reigen’s face of pleasure, his body, the feel of his skin, the panic of how fast he needs to get together, the sound of Reigen’s whimpers right now. 

Thirty-four.

This is too much pressure. Reigen’s pushups are starting to slow down between each repetition. Serizawa is panicking about what to do next. He rips his eyes off Reigen, trying to curl his body in on himself. If he could do anything else– think of anything else–then there has to be a way he can come back from this.

Thirty-five.

Anything will help right now. Anything!

“Thirty, thirty-six. Uf!” Reigen stops, panting and falling back onto the ground to collect his breath. “Hah. Hahahahhh, see?! I’m not just a smooth talker, after all. Heh, alright!”

Reigen catches his breath, feeling very confident in himself. He overlooks Serizawa’s minor life crisis as he kneels on the floor.

“Well then, Serizawa, I showed you how it’s done, didn’t I?” Reigen fixated his eyes on the carpet, focusing on evening his breath. “Hey, hah, hand me a towel from the cabinet over there, will ya?”

Silence fills the room, save for Reigen’s pants. “Serizawa?” Reigen raises his head to see if Serizawa heard him. 

He pauses to see Serizawa’s body practically curled into the chair, purposefully avoiding eye contact with Reigen. 

Immediately, insecurity washed over Reigen at why Serizawa was acting like this. Oh crap, is he disgusted by my struggle to do pushups? Did I need to do more to impress him? Is he trying not to laugh? 

Reigen swallows his insecurities and adjusts his tie.

“Hey, Serizawa? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, sir,” Serizawa whispers. Though, it’s obvious to both men that this is a lie. Around the two, things start to float up and down in the office. Reigen is the first to see it, however. 

“Hey, now. I can tell when you are not like yourself. More than anyone. Especially with this,” Reigen gestures around, which Serizawa notices and immediately places down all the objects, “Please, Serizawa. What can I do to help you?” Reigen asks.

“I'm sorry, but,” Serizawa uncurls himself, now turning away from Reigen by swiveling around the chair. “You can’t help with this.”

“Of course, I can. What kind of boss would I be if I didn’t come to the aid of my employees?” 

Reigen steps in front of Serizawa before he can curl himself up again. Serizawa is too late to cover up the large tent in his pants that Reigen just saw.

“Ah, Reigen! It’s not, ah, well, it is, but- wait, no!” Serizawa stammers, scrambling for anything to save this. Under all this pressure, he cannot lie anymore. “I’m so sorry! I have been thinking… horrible thoughts about you. When you were pushing up, you were making noises. I turned to dirty thoughts, and I–” Serizawa eyes wide, realizing how quickly the words slipped from his mouth. In times like these, lying is impossible for him. This is it for him. He’s going to get fired for sure!

“Serizawa���” Reigen is stunned, but things are now starting to click for him. His hand goes to his tie to try to fidget with it, immediately adjusting it until it rests flush with his collar. He clears his throat from any frog before opening his mouth.

“I can… take care of that too, you know.” The statement and his voice cracking at the end sounded like it didn’t even come out of the always-confident conman’s mouth. What escaped him was more meek, as quiet as a church mouse that Serizawa almost didn’t hear.

Serizawa sits straight up and meets Reigen’s eyes with his bewildered expression. Reigen looks back at him with a pink blush blooming across his face. The eye contact between the two men is electric when they realize what is slowly unraveling.

The air goes silent before Serizawa breaks it. “Reigen, what do you mean? Did… did I hear you right?” Serizawa’s Adam's Apple bobbed up and down in disbelief. It feels unreal. He needs to snap out of it, but Serizawa wants this to be real. It's so bad he needs proof that he is dreaming or living in this moment.

“Ahem. Well, as your boss, I- no… it’s more than that now. I want to help you with this because I,” Reigen leans forward, gently placing his hand on his shoulder before looking down at Serizawa, “We’ve been working together so well, and I’ve started to feel things. Unprofessional things.”

Reigens hand softly sweeps off the tall man's shoulder, now moving to the middle of his thigh. He softly laughs, “And this? Seems right up my alley.” 

Serizawa can’t believe what he’s hearing. Something in him snaps. All the days of suppression, all the days he’s cared for Reigen, all the days after work that he couldn’t stop thinking about him. It was enough to spring him up and unintentionally jump Reigen, causing his back to push against the wall in surprise.

“Woah, big guy! Hah~,” Before Reigen can speak, Serizawa’s arms slam on either side of Reigen, caging him between the wall and the tall man. 

“Reigen, I can’t hold these feelings back anymore.” Serizawa leans forward and rests his head against the wall right above Reigen. His eyes knit together, trying desperately not to go any farther or even say anymore. But it’s too late. 

Reigen raises his head high enough to see the agony on Serizawa’s face, fully understanding what is happening. His hand reaches up to caress Serizawa’s cheek. “I get what you mean. Please, just for me, you don’t have to hold back anymore.” 

God, I hope I can do this right. Serizawa thinks.

Immediately, he raises his head from the wall and smashes his lips onto Reigen’s in a hungry lust. Serizawa can’t control himself, pressing himself intensely into Reigen, practically smushing the shorter man into the wall. 

The passion is unleashed on Reigen, making him groan on the lips of Serizawa. They part lips and dance their tongues together in a rather clunky manner. It feels right before them, though, even with the minor teeth clashes. 

Reigen meets the man’s face with his hands, deepening the kiss. Serizawa awkwardly grabs Reigen’s shoulders with an immense grip, making him grunt. The noise Reigen makes goes straight to Serizawa’s pants, making him want the kiss even harder. He can’t control his wants any longer. 

Breaking the kiss, Reigen and Serizawa’s saliva connects to each other’s lips in a thick line. Both men gasp for air as they look at each other.

“How do we… what do we do with this then?” Serizawa's mind is dizzying, having no clue how to handle the peak in his suit pants.

“Well, the best way we can.” Reigen handed Serizawa’s pants, earning a long sigh and twitch from his member. 

“Reigen, I-I can’t stop holding back if you do that.”

“You don’t have to anymore. Plus, it feels good, right?” Reigen addresses Serizawa’s uneasiness, “Tell me how you feel. Should I keep going?”

“You don’t understand. I want you to sound like earlier when you were doing those pushups. I want that to be because of me . I don’t know what I’ll do if you keep going.”

“I think we can find something to help that.” Reigen sighs, trying to figure out exactly how he wants to take this. He looks at Serizawa, who seems seconds away from bursting, then at the desk just inches away from the two, and an idea creeps into the forefront of his mind. If he wants to do it, though, Reigen must prepare both.

“Let me show you.”

Per Reigen’s instructions, Serizawa flushes as he helps Reigen against the desk. Reigen sighs when his backside reaches the chill wood of the desk. They quickly use their nimble fingers to remove his suit pants and boxers gingerly. Serizawa thinks he’s going to pass out on cloud nine. His hand grips the small of Reigen’s back, making him instinctively arch himself, giving Serizawa a generous view of Reigen’s erect penis twitching against his stomach.

 “Hah… Do you like what you see?” Reigen neck leans forward to meet gaze with the man over him, entirely in awe of the sight.

“Absolutely.” 

“Go ahead then. I’ll be patient.” Reigen gasps when Serizawa places his shaking hand on the exposed skin, palming his ass with rough desperation.

The only time Serizawa has touched someone in any sexual way is himself. He seldom has watched porn, much less gay porn. His head spirals in confusion, but Reigen sees this quickly; he knows what to do next. 

“I know what to do. I can help lead you.”

“Okay. W-what should I do now?”

“You can use your finger to start. Put it in your mouth–make sure you coat it, and,” Reigen paused, looking away to hide his face from Serizawa’s gaze. “It will warm me up for the next steps.”

Serizawa does what he’s told. He looks at Reigen inquisitively with his digit still in his mouth, “What do fingers have to do with this?”

Reigen grunts, “...You know,” Serizawa’s face tells him he doesn’t know. Reigen continues, “You need to warm me up with fingers before that . I think…” He nods to Serizawa’s hard tent, “I need you to put your fingers in my ass. It has to be wet first for it to work.”

“R-right. I can do that.” He turns around and watches Serizawa coat his forefinger and middle with his saliva. His finger comes out with a string connecting him to his mouth. He awkwardly holds his fingers out, looking almost innocent as he waits for Reigen’s following instructions.

“Just know, I’ve never done this before. So just go easy on me.” Reigen says, looking away. Serizawa nods before not so subtly pulling into Reigen’s desperate lips with his tie. Reigen's face tells of nothing but timidness, yet still with needy lust. His body shivers with want as he reaches to find the hands of his employee, still covered with spit. He moves Serizawa’s fingers down, and down, and down. Serizawa can feel Reigen’s hands tremble when he touches something warm. 

Reigen guides Serizawa’s fingers to his hole. At first, it takes Serizawa a moment to process what he’s being guided to while he gently kisses Reigen’s face, still held close to him by his tie. Reigen’s other hand fumbles Serizawa’s hand around, trying to find the spot he needs Serizawa to fill while also hiding his face during their kisses. 

When Serizawa feels his fingertips protrude Reigen’s entrance, he knows what to do. 

As soon as he feels pressure on his asshole, Reigen’s death grip on Serizawa's tie pulls him closer into the kiss. He can’t bear to look at Serizawa’s face, who he’s adored so long. He can’t bear to see those eyes like it will wake him up from his remarkable dream. 

Serizawa’s hand presses gently inside, and soon, the pads of his two fingers are warmed by the inside of his boss. He can feel Reigen shift into the kiss.

Reigen grabs his arm, slowly pulling him into one knuckle deep, then two, to the fullest extent. Reigen completely freezes his mouth on Serizawa’s tongue, breathing quickly through his nose.

Reigen pushes Serizawa’s arm, awkwardly stopping at his fingertips before Reigen guides him back. Serizawa feels extreme pressure around his fingers when they are thrust inside. Reigen makes a slight squeak against his lips before hastily making Serizawa thrust into him again.

Reigen fully guides each thrust of Serizawa’s fingers as they continue, slowly loosening himself up in the process. Soon, however, the gentle pace changes. 

Reigen’s hands are gripping Serizawa’s arm and tie, giving him erratic and fast pushes into himself. Reigen’s voice fails on him, slowly humming into each sharp exhale he provides. He tries desperately to keep himself from sounding like a dog, but when he feels Serizawa’s fingers take the lead without his guidance, he can’t help but pant. 

Serizawa knows what to do for now. As Reigen showed him, he pulled his fingers out before sloppily pushing back in. He feels the walls of Reigen slowly lower themselves.

“Okay, Serizawa. You can curl y-your fingers now.” Reigen meekly whispers against his lips. 

Serizawa isn’t confident about what he means but tries to enact what Reigen asks in a wordless agreement. He slowly bends his fingers. 

Reigen let go of his tie, leaning against the table with his palms as the sensation felt too much. 

“You can’t do this to me, Serizawa. The way you’re looking at me, I– Ah!” Reigen arches into the desk when Serizawa’s fingers reach a delicious spot in him. 

Serizawa twitching cock is reaching its limit. There’s only so much the man can take before he crumbles under pressure. 

Suddenly, Reigen feels two firm hands placed at both sides of his face that causes him to snap out of his twitches. 

“Reigen, please let me push this further.” Serizawa’s face is stone; besides the sweat on his face, you would think he is back in his first job interview with Reigen.

“Idiot, I was gonna say yes to that.” Reigen scoffs, grabbing Serizawa’s tie. He solidifies his want by kissing Serizawa deeply. Their tongues touch again, causing Serizawa to huff and press his hard tent against the conman. 

“Please, for the love of god, take it out, Serizawa.” Reigen whimpers against his mouth. 

Serizawa didn’t need to think twice. It's a surprise to him when he knew exactly what Reigen was referring to in the first place. In a flash, his cock was free from his clothes, pinkened and twitching. Nobody had ever seen this part of him before, but Reigen looked at it like it was the sexiest thing he’d laid eyes on. The way his eyes lingered, the way he bit his lip, and the way he seemed to sweat a little more made Serizawa groan. 

Maybe Reigen let his eyes stay on Serizawa a little too long out of anxiety because, damn , his employee was fucking packing. This entire time Serizawa was carrying a fucking package on him? Reigen swallowed. Even if he’s never seen another man's dick in real life, he wouldn't have known they could have that many veins on them, even in porn. 

“I need you to go slow, okay?” Reigen says, now shifting his legs apart, gingerly holding them against the desk as he leans back. 

Reigen doesn’t know if his words reach Serizawa at this point. Serizawa practically jumps at him like he’s never seen a tastier meal. Serizawa’s thick cock presses down Reigen’s crack, making him tremble on standby. 

He can feel his breath quicken when he helps Serizawa line him up to the hole. 

“P-please, go-ah!” Reigen gags out as Serizawa begins to push in unceremoniously and can already feel pain searing into his asshole. 

“Sorry, I will go slow, but it just, you feel so,” Serizawa’s cockhead slips into Reigen’s body, now pausing to adjust Reigen before inching in more. “So good.” 

Reigen practically whimpers in Serizawa’s hold, but tries to play it off as a clearing of his throat. He grips onto the hands that hold his small hips, letting himself relax for the man who keeps sinking deeper. 

It takes a hot minute until Serizawa’s girth is fully inside, many times Reigen needed to stop and pause to take a breather, whimpering like a dog in heat. Once it was in, Reigen felt his cock twitch up in excitement. The pain subsided as the pleasure started to rear its head.

“Please, Serizawa, start moving your hips,” Reigen pleads, tapping his foot against Serizawa for some friction. 

Serizawa breaks loose, immediately thrusting out before putting his whole cock back inside. Reigen can’t keep the noise he makes down as his voice chokes from the pressure. He sputters on Serizawa’s cock as it keeps moving, slowly making his rational spiral into something unintelligible. 

“Reigen,” Serizawa groans out. “God, I’ve never felt anything like this. You’re so warm.”

He continues his tirade, practically thrusting his hips into Reigen as fast as his heartbeat. 

Reigen tries to collect himself to complain to Serizawa, to say that he can’t possibly keep up that pace if he has anything to say about it. The neighboring offices can only ignore so much noise before they file complaints, even worse, Reigen’s moaning louder than a train station. But he can’t get himself to spit the words out. His tight ass starts to loosen in Serizawa’s rugged strokes, now replacing the searing pain with white, hot pleasure. It’s a feeling he cannot help but ride. He pants out, only mumbling small obscenities and panting like a dog. 

Serizawa sees Reigen huff into the air, practically growing hearts in his pupils from the sight. 

This is the exact picture he wants to frame. Reigen’s legs hang in the air, constantly thumping to and fro from each jerk of Serizawa’s hips. His hands do little in gripping onto his legs, and his face is so blissed it’s driving Serizawa crazy. His eyes are dilated, Reigen rolls his eyes into the back of his skull every few seconds before trying to focus on the man in front of him, only to be hit into a particularly delicious spot, hypnotizing his sight and causing his vision to blur. Again. His pretty tongue that once led the kiss now peaked out of his mouth, lips plumped from kissing and agape, huffing and moaning every single octave his voice could possibly ring out. This same kind of face was what Serizawa wanted to give Reigen. It’s what he wanted to recreate. 

He wanted to ruin that pretty little face of his boss, and he was going to do more of just that. 

“Reigen, please look at me.”

Reigen's pretty legs dangled in the air as he tried to come to his senses, now trying to fully focus on Serizawa but blurring out every now and then. It wasn’t until Serizawa grabbed his chin and leaned in close that Reigen sharply looked at him. 

Serizawa was closer, angling his thrusts into Reigen just right that he practically yelps into the taller mans mouth when he was pulled in a sloppy kiss. God, it felt so satisfying, Serizawa almost drools at the way Reigens face deliciously contorts. And it’s all because of him . 

“Please, don’t stop,” Reigen whimpers.

“Never, darling.” Despite his sweet words, Serizawa continues his impossibly fast pace inside Reigen’s tight ass. 

Reigen’s pretty cock was rock fucking solid, and it gave Serizawa the perfect idea. He wraps his big hand around Reigen’s shaft and begins to stroke it languidly.

Reigen’s eyes practically bulged; the sensation was so delirious that he couldn’t speak. He tries to hold the same contact with Serizawa, but the stimulation causes his eyelids to flutter each time.

He unintentionally jerks his hips anywhere near Serizawa, and his teeth are gritting together. His weak hands grab into the hands that grip his ass, pulsing his hold the way his asshole puckered. 

“That feels so good, and please don't stop. Please don’t stop.” The constant whimpering from Reigen now turns into moans, until moans become begging that Serizawa keep going, over and over and over again, until Reigen is an uncontrollable, overstimulated mess. Serizawa keeps a relentless pace of pumps on his cock, as well as in his ass. It’s all so much that Reigen’s overbearing core is starting to bubble over. 

In between Reigen’s range of noises, he squeezes out, “Seri, I’m gonna, I’m gonna cum for you.” He rasps. 

“Please, Reigen. Let everyone know how I make you feel.” Serizawa grunts. He relinquished his grip on Reigen’s hips before latching onto his trim waist. Reigen’s delicate waist could perfectly fit inside Serizawa's large hands, practically made to fit like puzzle pieces. Serizawa hunches over and starts to thrust into Reigen like never before. The thick girth that Reigen was once nervous about now makes his frame convulse in pleasure.

Reigen screamed out, tightening his asshole so much that Serizawa’s cock completely halted inside of him. The tightness clamps down on Serizawa, and he can only watch Reigen orgasm, spouting white, warm cum all over Serizawa’s suit and his skin. His dick just bobbed up and down, his pretty pink cockhead looking so inviting to Serizawa. 

What Serizawa needed to do now was so clear to him. Before Reigen could finish his ecstasy, Serizawa hungrily took his twitching cock in his lips, sucking out the rest of the cum from his head. The warm, salty, thick cum massages down his throat while Reigen’s finger clamored to Serizawa's soft brown hair, practically drumming his hands all over his head and shoulders, seizing any sort of bodily function. 

Serizawa’s desperate mouth milks out any more seed he possibly could out of Reigen until his writhing ceases. He only needed to thrust in Reigen’s sodden hole a little bit more before he released himself in Reigen’s ass, pulling out to reveal a mouthwatering cream pie. 

Reigen’s face relaxed from his orgasm, relaxing his spread legs, giving a generous view of his chest, nipples still hard and face still red. 

“Jesus, Serizawa, I didn’t know you were packing a fucking snake in your pants,” Reigen said, throwing his head back. “If I had known this would happen, I would’ve stretched myself better. You… liked that, right?”

“Reigen, that was wonderful. I didn’t know that something would feel that good,” Serizawa’s blush was the cutest thing, but what Seri said was more concerning. 

“Hold on, was that…?” Reigen couldn’t believe it when Serizawa confirmed his suspicions, internally freaking out, but calmly sighed. “Well, I'm glad you feel that way.”

Serizawa couldn’t keep his love in any longer; he grabbed the face he always thought was beautiful, one that he saw every day as his boss, and now one that he could call…

“Reigen, would you do me the honor of calling me yours?”

“You think you need to ask that at this point? Jeez…” Reigen could barely contain his excitement, grabbing his hand and kissing it gently. “Of course I will.”

The two men embraced in a way they never thought would be possible. If this wasn’t the best outcome of a set of pushups, they didn’t know what would be.

[aurae-rori]

INTRODUCTION POST !

ABOUT ME !

-> you can call me either AURAE or RORI

-> i'm genderfluid, so i'll usually leave my current pref pronouns in my bio

-> i'm a minor, and also ace so i don't interact w nsfw content. i don't fuck w/it your honour. at most i might rb a suggestive joke post.

-> multifandom, but currently my interest lies more in hsr/zzz, although i might occasionally post about bsd, csm, or a plethora of other things.

-> author of the hit roman empire ratio post

-> ao3 ! im the author of the csm aventio au and i am so fucking proud of it look at my baby (pls check it out guys pls)

-> THE MASTERLIST OF MY ANALYSES all packed into one post

-> and my CARRD ! (which holds my dnis, bfyis, interests, etc)

I DO NOT ALLOW :

-> using any of my writing for AI work

-> stealing of my ideas and using them to write for your own fics. if you want to write something inspired based off of something i've done, ASK FIRST.

-> stealing my stuff in general like why would you steal my stuff

-> people to treat me like a therapist. you're always allowed to ask psych questions in my inbox, but if you traumadump to me, i WILL delete your ask. weird questions will be DELETED and you will be BLOCKED.

-> if you get so pressed over a ship that you harass them get OUTTA here brother. dont be allergic to joy and whimsy fr

I FUCK WITH :

-> anons in my inbox asking questions or leaving their hcs or respectfully asking about mental health/my experiences w mental health.

-> aventio shennanigans

-> multishippers (me too)

-> BITCHES IN MY DMS COME HITHER (as long as you're not weird)

-> your visions that the yaoi god gave to you because man me too (they call me the yaoi prophet)

-> TALKING ABOUT MY AUS LIKE ASK ME ABOUT THEM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

-> my moots ily guys

TAGS ?

uh. kinda. not really though. its kind of a mess. i dont have the energy to fix it. i apologize gang. (at least you have the materlist for my analyses)

(ps: credit to @/cafekitsune for the dividers)

[suttttton]

Oh gosh, so i just read your jonelias fic, the soulmate name one where Jon has Jonah magnus on his arm and he's all lonely. Boy did this entirely rewrite my brain actually. So i thought i'd ask, do you pretty please have some crumbs of how you think the story could wrap up? Like would elias try to woo jon? Would jon refuse him because, jonah magnus? Do you think the gang would find out about the whole body hopping thing at the same time as in canon or before, because jonah just drops the ball?

Also, maybe i just have piss poor reading comprehension (i kind of do tbh) but why did jon stop talking to the portraits after leitner's death? Did he just go like, oh that's creepy elias might be watching actually. Also i'm wondering what the tim&jon argument was about... Oh, them being trapped here because of jonah magnus himself? I guess that would explain it. Generally any tidbits of information you'll be willing to share, i want to hear it all i love this fic so much it's so good.

Would Elias in this au be more gentle and less willing to throw jon at every horror ever? Or is it sad toxic yaoi?

Sorry for rambling uwu ahah

(For anyone who doesn't know, this is the fic in question.)

I'm so sorry it's taken me 60+ business days to respond to you! This ask inspired me to write a little bit past the ending, which took some time, and then I got my job at puppy kindergarten and completely forgot about until.

UNTIL just now when I found it in my drafts, SO part of that is at the end of this answer under the cut.

To answer your other questions: Jon stops talking to the portraits because he finds out that Jonah Magnus was a Bad Person. Jon has been imagining Jonah as a character something like Gerry, burning the Leitner books and protecting people. After he talks to Leitner, he knows that Jonah was,,,,,,,,,,,, not that.

As for Tim and Jon's argument, I think during that s3 era of canon, they get into a lot of fights that basically boil down to "Tim is very angry that they're trapped here and Sasha is dead and Danny is dead, and Jon is his only available target." And in this world they have the added twist that Jon has been metaphysically assigned to The Evil Guy Who Started It All, which,,,,, does not help.

Thanks for your ask! I really like this story and it's been really fun thinking about it further.

EPILOGUISH:

The moment hangs suspended, Jon's eyes on the floor, Elias' locked on his own name scribed on Jon's skinny wrist like an accusation. His head spins with a rush of emotion, nothing he is prepared for, nothing he ever expected to feel again.

Then Jon's gaze flickers to his wrist, registers the alien colour, and his eyes widen and he jerks his hand away, shattering the silence. Jon cradles his wrist like it hurts, staring at it with his mouth slightly open.

Elias braces himself for Jon's gaze to come back to him, to look into his grey eyes and realize that they are far too old for his face, for him to make the connection. A moment passes, then another, and Jon just stares at his wrist, one of the immutable columns of his life suddenly upended.

Elias skims his mind, curious, and he has to stifle the urge to laugh.

Jon is thinking, with a racing mania that borders on panic, about ghosts.

Elias feels an enormous rush of tenderness towards him.

"I don't understand," Jon says finally, quietly. More to himself than to Elias. "This--this can't--"

Elias decides to twist the knife. "Perhaps our founder is pleased that you've aligned yourself with his god."

That gets Jon's attention, and he looks at Elias with fear in his eyes. Yes, yes, this is what has so thoroughly captured Elias' attentions these pasts few months. The way Jon's mind stutters and slips, trying to find purchase on his panic-smoothed thoughts. The way his eyes widen, showing off the lovely darkness of his eyes. The way he trembles and hates himself for it, his tight grip holding his control close.

Jon goes, and Elias' eyes follow him. He sits down behind his desk and smiles.

***

Jon doesn't register what Elias says to dismiss him. He simply rolls his sleeves down and returns to the Archives, avoiding his assistants like a man hunted. He sits down at his desk and his sleeve rides up his arm, revealing the accusingly black edges of his soul mark.

So he gets up and puts on his coat, the thicker sleeves making him feel more thoroughly covered, more protected from prying eyes. He sits down again and tries to relax, tries to turn his mind back to the research that so desperately needs to be done, the end of the world at stake--

His mind keeps wandering, imagining one of the others coming in and demanding to inspect his soul mark.

Never mind that no one has ever done that, that no one would ever do that. He can too clearly imagine what the reaction would be, if any of the others found out what has happened. Bad enough to have the name scrawled on his wrist; to have the bond suddenly, impossibly accepted? What ideas would the others draw from that? What conclusions could they possibly come to?

What if Tim saw it?

What if Daisy saw it?

What does it mean?

He gets up again and leaves the Archives, not sure where he's going, just sure that he needs to move. His mind is racing, and he clutches at his wrist like it hurts. Nothing makes sense, anymore, not that it was making much sense to begin with.

Nevertheless, the shock is familiar. All of it is a plunging from stability into cold loneliness, all of it terrifying. He doesn't want Jonah Magnus to accept the bond. He doesn't want Jonah Magnus to be a willing servant of evil. He doesn't want his soulmark to be grey and unnerving. He doesn't want any of this.

His wandering takes him past a portrait of Jonah because it's his Institute, and they are unavoidable. Jon has been trying to avoid their gaze since he returned from his Elias-caused exile, but now he stops. He studies the face that he knows so well, that is as familiar to him as any of his flesh-and-blood acquaintances.

He shivers.

[cielelyse]

Hii! do you have any one piece ships you like other than zosan? if so, would you want to write about them at some point?

HI ANON WHAT A WONDERFUL QUESTION, I LOVE IT, THANK YOU! I would not be myself if I don’t answer tumblr asks with needless ramblings so I’m sorry to have subjected you to this, though you have brought this upon yourself 

YES! I definitely have other OP ships I like! These are my favourites in order:

1. Luffy x Sanji

I actually love LuSan just as much as I love ZoSan! I have a LuSan draft in my gdocs, which I'm not sure I'll ever finish but it's there! I love them a whole lot. This is also embarrassing to admit, but the only reason why I’m not making progress on writing for them is because Luffy is SO HARD to characterize. Every time he shows up in The Spilhaus Project I’d worry about whether or not he’s in character, whether or not he’s saying the “right” things, whether or not his actions are sound, etc. I DON’T KNOW WHY THIS HAS HAPPENED TO MY BRAIN, I APOLOGIZE ON ITS BEHALF

Funny thing is that every time Luffy shows up in my ZoSan fic, I'm half trying to characterize him well, and half trying not to turn it into a LuSan fic lmao. At some point I'll get that LuSan fic written!

ERGO, I LOVE LUSAN WITH MY WHOLE HEART 

2. Nami x Vivi

They just have such good chemistry! I'm also a sucker for the pirate x princess dynamic. FUCK I LOVE THEM. My queens. I'll for sure have them as a minor ship in The Spilhaus project!

Funnily enough, I was so enamoured by Nami and Vivi's relationship that when Robin showed up, I expected her and Nami to have the same level of chemistry too since they're nakama. But they didn't! And I'm still sad about that! I thought I would love them even more than NamiVivi! Although this scene from Long Ring Long Land lives in my head rent-free:

MOTHERS???? MY SOUL MOANED. I WOULD BE SUCH A DIE-HARD SHIPPER IF THEY INTERACTED LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME

3. Capone Bege x Chiffon

Okay they are just too cute. 100% my favourite canon ship in OP.

4. Robin x Franky

Man I really like them. The contrasting personalities, the "it's not a crime to exist", the humour of Robin berating Franky in Chopper's body... I'm already writing hints of them in The Spilhaus Project but definitely will explore them more

5. Cavendish x Cavendish

Isn't this an iconic one. I will gladly participate in ship wars to defend this pairing.

Some honourable mentions:

Sanji x Usopp

Ngl when I read Skypeia I thought they would become one of the most popular ships in OP. Their dynamic was SO cute and so funny. I wish there'd be more similar interactions between them post-Skypeia (tho Wano and Enies Lobby were nice!) but ALAS

Reiju x Any Girl Honestly, I'm Desperate

Tashigi, Nami, Stussy... I have a huge crush on this woman and I'll take anything

Sanji x Pudding

I'm sorry but they're so FUN. (I didn't realize until after I finished the manga that Pudding is 16.) But while reading WCI I really loved their dynamic, I loved the arranged marriage plot, the secret villain plot, the way Sanji is so kind with her, the way she adores him in turn. Also them both spewing blood everywhere was hilarious

Noland x Kalgara

My doomed yaoi... I very much cried. I love them platonic, romantic, anything in between

There are lots of other ships that I'm intrigued by but haven't explored! I will at some point! Thank you for asking anon, this was such a fun thing to write on a Saturday evening and it made me happy :')

[prince-liest]

oh my god…. prince……. you can’t do this to me. you’re saying next fic has vox getting fucked, focuses on vox’s transness (AH), AND ALSO HES ON THE OFF SEE SAW OF HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH VAL?????? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL MEE?!!?!!????? I THINK I MIGHT ACTUALLY COMBUST. and bc another anon asked abt how alastor views the violence in voxval’s relationship, i have Another thought on the matter. as much as alastor looks down on vox, they can be Very similar sometimes. they are both egomaniacs and very prideful. i don’t think vox, without outside interference, would ever ADMIT that the violence he faces is 1) something he truly hates AND 2) out of his control. he can’t admit he hates it, because then why isn’t he stopping it? that would be admitting to not being powerful enough or strong enough. and hello, 50’s toxic masculinity coming through, he CANT be a victim of domestic violence. he’s a powerful, rich, and important man. it all comes down to perceived weakness. so, the solution is to pretend he’s mostly fine with it. sure, he can act disgruntled and upset in the moment, but i don’t think he’d ever let himself take it seriously. because then he has to start drawing lines in the sand, and what happens then? will val look down on him? will he lose val? yeah, he is not risking that over a problem he mostly refuses to acknowledge exists. and as you said, this is all happening in the setting of hell, where ultra violence IS the norm, and vox himself is excessively violent. it’s the most delicious 50 layer cake of fucked up-ness.

RANT ASIDE THO. i have a question. 2. do you ever plan on having vox interact with the hotel crew outside of angel? ANDDDD what would charlie’s reaction be to their friendship/situationship/ kinda love affair. i think she could add SOOOOO much hilarity and Intense Emotions to this series. not that the boys haven’t been doing their part in that so far. charlie just intensifies everything she does, god bless her. -🌓

The "getting fucked" bit and the trans conversation bit are directly related to and relevant to each other, and frankly I'm just very happy to be out here writing the specific flavors of deeply queer shenanigans that I'm writing, and to have people actively enjoy that. It genuinely means a lot to me that I've strayed so goddamn far out of the bounds of good old top/bottom yaoi archetypes that introduced me to fandom and yet have a wildly enthusiastic audience nonetheless. So, that was my long way of saying that you bring me a lot of fucking joy, anon, hahaha.

As for everything you're saying about Vox, power, and masculinity: YOU! points dramatically at you YOU GET IT! YOU GET IT!!!!!! Everyone just read this, this is it, this is the thing. I have no notes to add. There is a reason that the main point he raises the moment he actually says something vulnerable about it (before he immediately cuts himself off) is a complaint that he's an overlord, so why—?

And with regards to your questions: I'm not gonna lie, my actual planning for 666 is usually, like, extremely by the seat of my pants. I plan nothing except, "Oh, shit, had an idea for the next one. Lesgoooo—" and that's been the case for literally every single installment. It's all just been evolving naturally and building on top of itself. So! I can't say that I plan to have Vox interact with the hotel crew or Charlie, but I also will never say that I'm actively opposed to it.

That said, I do think a lot of this fic is kinda structured around hitting specific topics that come up in intimate settings between Vox and Alastor specifically, with occasional tag-ins from Angel Dust, so I don't really know if there's anything in particular I'd like to write that I think would work better in this series if more characters got involved. But, hey! Never say never!

[neallo]

29 | she/they | follows from @blondiest

caard

hi there! this is a sideblog and is also sometimes explicit. minors - please do not interact w/ explicit posts or fics.

historically my tagging habits are inconsistent at best, but i do what i can. generally speaking, you can find answered asks under #asks, original posts under #neallopost, snippets under #my writing, and fanfiction posts / updates under #neallofic.

i write almost-exclusively for mello/near. i write for matt/mello/near on an incidental basis, as well as a handful of rarepairs. all my non-mellonear works can be found here on AO3; for brevity's sake, i am not listing them in my masterpost. i have also listed ficlets (works under 1000 words which do not belong to a series) separately; you can find that post here.

AO3 Collections: (alternative to navigating this masterpost)

neallo fics (but make them non-meronia) neallo yaoi neallo yuri personal favorites

category: M/M

series: hot soup on a cold day wammy's era, no kira AU 2 works; 16,395 words

hot soup on a cold day rated T | 15,595 words

“Roger,” Near says urgently, tapping the old man’s shoulder. “Roger, Mello needs another pillow.” Roger gives Near a questioning look, slight disapproval in his eyes “He’s not making me get him one,” Near clarifies. “Mello is asleep right now. He just doesn’t look comfortable, that’s all.” Roger looks like he’s about to protest, so Near adds— “And I have my mask, so I won’t get sick.” The headmaster sighs, pointing down the hallway towards the linen closet. Near retrieves the perfect pillow— not so old as to be sagging, but not so new as to be overly stiff. Once he props Mello’s head up better, gingerly moving the older boy’s head as he sleeps, he finds Roger again. “I think Mello’s room is too cold. Do you have a space heater I could use?” Roger massages his temples. “Ms. Peterson may have one in her classroom,” he replies / “Very well, I’ll ask her. Thank you, Roger.” The white-haired boy shuffles away, determined. He’s distantly aware that he's being a pest to Roger, but it's all in aid of a good cause. Mello is sick. Mello almost never gets sick, and Near is the expert on being sick, so Near is going to make sure Mello is as comfortable as possible.

hot tea on a cold night rated T | 800 words

Mello is half-asleep when it happens. He’s half-asleep, and he thinks Near is totally asleep, but then the younger boy wriggles in his arms, burrowing closer under the covers, and murmurs: “I love you.”

series: i want to hold you (hostage) canon-divergent kira investigation era 4 works; 28,790 words

there's nothing i want but you rated T | 1,560 words

Though Near doesn’t really mind Mello’s tendency towards jealousy, he also doesn’t understand it. There’s no one in the world Near wants the way he wants Mello, no one who matters the way Mello does— he’s everything to Near. There’s no reason for him to feel jealous of anyone else. Near doesn’t get jealous of anyone else. Until, one day, he does.

nothing hurts like you do rated E | 3,830 words

Mello shoves him against the wall, his free hand moving from Near’s hair to the center of his chest as he holds the gun just inches from his forehead. He gives Near a once-over, quick, and at first Near thinks he hasn’t noticed anything amiss, but then an unkind smile unfurls on his face. “Hands up,” Mello says, grinning manically.

i want to hold you (hostage) rated E | 21,700 words

Rico asks, casual, what Mello will want next, what he’ll aim for after he gets the notebook, and suddenly it’s like the ground has dropped out from underneath him, because the first thing that comes to mind is Near. His stomach sinks as he tries to regain some semblance of composure, fighting off imaginings both tender and cruel, furious with himself for being so weak-minded. Near, he thinks forcefully, is in the past. He isn’t an option for what’s to come— and even if he was, Mello wouldn’t want him. (He wouldn’t.) (He wouldn’t.) (God. He can’t even convince himself anymore.)

love enough to drown it out rated E | 1,700 words

Even when Near is not himself, he’s still Mello’s.

series: our love is god post-kira, semi-compliant with canon 3 works; 6,125 words

my only one, my smoking gun rated E | 3,275 words

[part 1 of our love is god]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 4/4 | words: 3.3k

For as long as he can recall, he’s ached over Near. It wasn’t always like this, though; he didn’t realize he wanted Near until it was too late to actually have him. He should be grateful, really, because he’s been able to linger here after death, and that’s more than he deserves, but God, Mello would give anything to kiss him just once.

heaven is a place on earth with you rated E | 1,425 words

There is no blood or body of Christ, no priest and no pews, but it’s here and now that Mello finally rediscovers a long-lost sliver of faith. Hands on Near’s hips, Mello lowers his face and presses his mouth to Near’s soft abdomen. “I love you,” he murmurs, head bowed and eyes shut as if in prayer.

replication in reverse rated E | 1,425 words

Mello mumbles something into his neck, something to the effect of waiting until Near is ready for him to move, but Near only halfway registers it. Golden hair tickles his nose, and he pictures mitosis— prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase— then imagines cytokinesis in reverse. Two cells pushed together until, somehow, their membranes connect, two phospholipid bilayers self-arranging into one continuous structure, cytoplasms mingling. He swallows thickly and longs for something impossible.

series: marital bliss post-wammy's no kira AU 2 works; 4,465 words

engaged rated M | 1,425 words

“So, like, I suddenly realized… Near is into me. Like, Near wants me.” He pauses as if to allow this to sink in, looking at Matt like this is still a groundbreaking revelation the second time around when it in fact was not even groundbreaking the first. Near’s crush has been obvious to literally everyone but Mello for the past ten years. “Yes. This surprised you. And also me, because I definitely did not know that Near was into you before you told me fifteen minutes ago.” Mello nods, satisfied, entirely missing Matt’s sarcasm, which might be for the best. “So, naturally, I slept with him.” “Naturally,” Matt says. Mello does not miss the sarcasm this time. “If you’re just going to be a judgmental bitch the whole time, I’m not going to explain it again. You should be smart enough to remember what I fucking said the first time anyway.” “No, yeah, I actually think most well-adjusted people would sleep with their sworn enemies the moment they find out they’re into them.” Matt smiles tightly. “It wasn’t the moment I found out,” Mello says petulantly. “I waited like, four hours.”

married rated E | 3,040 words

Being married to Mello is, Near finds, better than he could have ever imagined. For the last two months, every day has started the same way. He wakes up to the sound of their alarm, surrounded by Mello. Mello’s chest warm against his back, Mello’s breath tickling his neck, Mello’s arm curled around him, solid and sure. Near has to squirm out of his embrace to turn off the clock, and said squirming inevitably wakes Mello. By the time Near has silenced the alarm, his husband is propped up on one elbow, staring. “Get back here,” Mello always says, his voice coarse with sleep and low enough to make Near shiver.

series: (not so) casual sex post-wammy's no kira AU 2 works; 7,392 words

it’s friday, i’m in love rated M | 2,675 words

Mello abandons a night out in favor of seeing (and holding and kissing and sleeping beside) Near.

love chained rated E | 4,717 words | chapter 1/?

Against his will, his mind momentarily drifts to Near. He thinks about how Near gets chilled if he isn’t held close enough after he’s been fucked, and how perfectly his body fits against Mello’s own, how comfortable it is to curl around him. It never really bugs him that Near wants to be close after sex. There’s a sort of irresistibility to him, actually, that pulls Mello in— his skin damp and flushed, his breaths uneven, his limbs slack in the aftermath of his orgasm. Near smells kind of nice even when he’s all sweaty, and he makes this happy little sound when Mello’s face finds its way into the crook of his neck, and he’s so quiet and still when he falls asleep that it somehow soothes Mello into slumber, too. God damn it. At the end of the day, this is his problem. He shouldn’t have thoughts this fond about Near; it’s weird, and not at all casual, and if he lets it continue he’s going to completely wreck what they have.

collaborations (complete)

Minutes to Midnight part 2 of Time Together (2 works; 20,412 words) collaboration with @empressofthewind rated E | 14,865 words

This is the only issue Near has with letting Mello do all their debriefings: it’s easy for Near to stare, undetected and uninterrupted, for a long, long time. In New York, he mitigates this by spreading out on the floor and surrounding himself with toys or cards or dice. Whatever he needs to do to occupy himself. When they’ve travelled for cases before – which isn’t common by any stretch of the imagination – Near has relied on the movements and sounds of their colleagues to pull his attention away instead. The squeak of Rester’s chair, the tapping of Gevanni’s polished shoe, the sound of Lidner shuffling through papers. He uses whatever he can to keep his eyes off Mello. Out of sight, out of mind. Right now, he’s out of luck.

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Impetus part 2 of Impulse (2 works; 7,360 words) collaboration with @/empressofthewind rated E | 4,888 words

Ten full days after Near had cruelly and callously broken Mello's heart over email— over email, for God's sake— Mello began to experience what could only have been demonic possession or divine inspiration. Or maybe that was just the whiskey and the wishing. -- In which Mello pines and plots to win Near back with a pizza and a few bad lies.

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shot in the dark collaboration with @/empressofthewind rated E | 8,225 words

Mello’s posture changes, abrupt but liquid-smooth, shoulders squaring and spine straightening as he raises the gun until Near is staring down the barrel of it. Blood rushes in his ears, loud. Mello licks his lips. “Get up.”

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Distraction collaboration with @/empressofthewind rated E | 2,880 words

The small pout Near offers in response would, under normal circumstances, result in the rapid undoing of Mello’s resolve. Worse still is that Near has begun writhing in his lap; not quite grinding on him, but shifting his weight in a way that’s troublesome nonetheless. Mello huffs. Near is fully aware of what he’s doing. He knows the effect he has on Mello. He’s teasing him. If that’s how this is going to be, then perhaps Mello will do a little teasing of his own.

standalone works (complete)

early arrival rated E | 1,570 words

It’s one in the morning and Near is wide awake, talking to Mello in hushed tones as the other passengers sleep soundly around them. According to the small screen on the back of the seat in front of him, they’re more than halfway through the flight, but it’s far from almost-over— it will be another three hours before they touch down in London.

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untouched rated E | 2,570 words

The storm is the only reason Near is here, and the only reason Mello let him in. That’s what Mello is trying to tell himself, anyway. — In which an old habit turns into something new.

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good boy rated E | 5,356 words

Mello’s stare is warm and constant, and the comforting exhilaration of it builds and builds within Near until he feels like he may burst. There is something he wants to say to Mello, but he doesn’t know what it is. Before he can ever say anything at all, though, Mello stands to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says. Before he goes, he gives Near two lists. One for the night. One for the next morning. Near always follows them to the letter. — In which Mello and Near form a dom-sub relationship centered entirely around shared meals and to-do lists.

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THE END IS NEAR rated T | 1,725 words

So here they are now, in the middle of the bible belt with a disposable camera and an unspoken agreement to ignore the elephant in the room. Or— elephants, plural, because there are a whole host of things they aren’t discussing. The Kira case is one, and maybe the biggest, but they also haven’t talked about Mello’s photo or the words on the back of it, and Near hasn’t dared to voice the question that he keeps asking himself: Why am I here?

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better than him rated E | 1,250 words

In which Mello thinks Near has a boyfriend, and Near thinks Mello has an infidelity kink.

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to have & to hurt rated E | 7,000 words

Five times Mello is harsh with Near, and one time he is very tender.

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august 18th, 2010 (two-hundred days) rated E | 1,650 words

Near is sitting in his office. He is sitting at his desk in his office, which is also Mello’s office, because they share one, now. Mello is under two meters away from him, sitting at his own desk and glaring at his backlit monitor like he wants to kill it. This has been their status quo for about seven months. Near knows the exact figure— two-hundred days— but he usually avoids acknowledging that he knows it, even in his own mind. Having this information on hand feels slightly illicit, because he knows the only reason he recalls the duration of their professional partnership with this degree of precision is because of what happened immediately before it began.

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starving rated M | 2,720 words

Near is hungry. No— not hungry. Near is famished. He’s starving. Mello can see it in the pronounced pallor of his face, the dullness of his eyes. In life, he could go for a day and a half without eating and barely notice. It wasn’t good for him, but he could do it without issue. In undeath, he is not so resilient.

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a hard day's night rated E | 2,475 words

Near wakes to find himself in a soft, inky darkness, completely unable to move. His paralysis is not immediately noteworthy to him. At first, as he is rising from the depths of unconsciousness, it strikes him as quite natural. Comfortable, even. With his mind still half-blanketed by sleep, his thoughts slow and blurry, the weight bearing down on him feels almost like an embrace. This thought is what first brings his attention to the strangeness. Physical affection— physical contact, full-stop— is not part of his daily life. The only people who ever touch him are doctors, dentists, and Mello, though Mello only grabs him when he is about to walk through a puddle or into an obstacle, or, occasionally, when Mello is especially frustrated with him. No one embraces Near. -- In which Mello sleepily invades Near’s space, and Near puzzles through both what is happening and what to do about it.

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grand premiere rated G | 1,111 words

Near reaches his wit’s end on a Tuesday in early October. He has been trying to win Mello’s heart for months now, seemingly to no avail. He cannot take it any longer.

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compromised rated E | 2,850 words

The door has only just shut behind them when Mello slams him against it, forcing the air from Near’s lungs in a painful wheeze. Hands fisted in white fabric, he gets right up in Near’s face. It is meant to be frightening, menacing, but more than anything Near finds it nostalgic, really. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Mello hisses. Near blinks, feigning innocence. “Visiting.” — In which Near finds both Mello’s base and a suitable compromise.

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we’ll pretend it ends tomorrow rated E | 5,775 words

“What’s happening?” Near asks. “I’m not sure,” Mello says. “I think we might’ve been kidnapped.” Near makes a soft sound of disapproval. Mello bristles at this, because it sounds like Near is mad at him over their abduction, even though it’s obviously not Mello’s fault. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he reminds himself that Near is probably feeling super-scared and vulnerable, and that, considering the situation, he may not be thinking through the potential implications of the sounds he’s making. He probably didn’t mean for it to seem accusatory. -- A dire situation tests Mello and Near’s ability to work together, bringing out the good, the bad, and the sexy.

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better than revenge rated E | 910 words

“If you ever have sex with Gevanni,” Mello interrupts, breathless and half-insane, “I will literally kill him.”

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slice rated E | 1,000 words

In which Near watches Mello cut fruit and marvels over his tender, dangerous hands.

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come together rated E | 2,175 words

“What,” Mello says, trying for derisiveness again, “are you trying to figure out how it works?” Near doesn’t flinch or falter. “No. I’m quite familiar with self-pleasure. I was just looking.” “Creep.” “I was not the one to suggest masturbating together,” Near says. “And you were looking at me, too.” -- In which Mello and Near touch themselves, and watch each other.

standalone works (in progress)

there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have rated E | 22,265 words | 6/7 chapters

“Ah, good morning,” Near says, and solely from the look on his face Mello knows he is missing some key fucking information. “I thought maybe you had left.” Mello shakes his head. He’s somewhat distracted by the fact that he still can’t tell if Near is naked; he’s shirtless, though, and that’s already ten times more of Near’s skin than Mello has ever seen before. Or, it’s more than he can recall seeing, anyways. And now Mello can’t stop staring at his chest. It’s so stupid, because Near is thin and scrawny and all pasty but Mello cannot tear his eyes away anyways— “So—” Mello’s voice fucking cracks as he finally manages to start speaking, a clear sign that some higher power is out to get him. He presses onwards anyways. “So, last night was…” He trails off, not even sure how he wants to finish the sentence, or if he wants to finish it at all. Near brings a pale hand to his hair and idly twirls a strand “Surprising,” Near completes the thought before glancing away. “But… not entirely unpleasant.” — In which Mello wakes up in Near’s bed after a night out and arrives at a wildly incorrect conclusion regarding the events that landed him there.

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all’s fair in love and war (and this is both) rated T | 15,122 words | 3/4 chapters

Near has Mello under siege, dragging him into a battle of wits, strategy, and stealth, one that has him in a state of constant vigilance, ever-ready for an attack. With his dignity and his ego on the line, Mello throws himself head-first into psychological warfare against his longtime rival, trying any tactic he can to help him turn the tide in his favor. The game is as complex and mind-bending as four-dimensional chess, and Mello has to think twenty moves ahead just to keep up, but he’ll be damned before losing to Near at this. Or: Near accidentally gaslights Mello into being his boyfriend, and Mello does Olympic-level mental gymnastics in order to read Near’s actions as sinister.

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an unusual proposal rated E | 4,562 words | 2/? chapters

“So,” Mello says. “What do you think?” Near scrutinizes his rival. Mello fidgets with the chain attached to his pants, seemingly anxious but still gravely serious. The proposal is… unconventional, to say the least, and logistically rather complicated— there are at least four-dozen things that could go wrong, and that’s just off the top of his head. It won’t be easy. His decision, though, is easy. He does not want Mello to die, and this, strange as it may be, seems like the best way to protect him. “Yes,” Near says. “I’ll do it.”

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15 Totally Chill Ways to Flirt With Your Crush rated M | 3,798 words | 2/? chapters

He scanned through the table of contents. Hot Trends to Try This Summer. 20 Best Affordable Lip Glosses. How to Take Care of Your Mental Health in College. None of these were right. Near was not interested in fashion, suspected lip gloss would be unpleasant to him from a sensory perspective, and was already the picture of excellent mental health. He kept searching, a small frown on his face, until— lo and behold— he found the page number he was looking for and flipped to the article that would, he assumed, completely change his life: 15 Totally Chill Ways to Flirt With Your Crush.

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a game of chance rated E | 4,780 words | 3/4 chapters

“Um.” Mello wrinkles his nose at the objects in his palm. “What’s the point of this again?” They are standing in the living room of their shared apartment, and also possibly on the precipice of a new and thrilling chapter of their relationship, though Mello is—by design— unaware of this latter detail. — In which Near uses a special set of dice to shift the tides of his relationship with Mello.

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bite down rated E | 2,115 words | 1/3 chapters

When Mello wakes to find his wrist in Near’s delicate grasp, the skin freshly-wet with saliva and blood, the first thing out of his mouth is: “I knew it.” Near— his longtime rival, short-time colleague, and, as of some indeterminate number of hours ago, his most recent one-night stand— lies on the bed beside him, propped up partway, staring evenly. The pristine sheets, arranged over his lower half in an artfully disheveled way, appear almost dingy compared to the sickly-silver glow of his bare, moonlit chest. “Did you,” Near says, mild, curious. “That’s quite strange.” He licks a drop of blood from the sensitive skin of Mello’s wrist, and Mello shivers. A bright wave of static rolls through him at the contact. “Yes,” Mello tells him, hoping the waver in his voice is just his imagination. “That’s— that’s why I slept with you. Obviously.” -- In which Mello makes the ultimate sacrifice to uncover Near’s vampirism and clinch his position as L’s sole successor, and then makes the very same sacrifice several times more, purely out of the goodness of his heart.

category: F/F

series: what doesn't kill me makes me want you more wammy's era, no kira AU 3 works; 9,975 words

what doesn't kill me makes me want you more rated M | 6,275 words | 3/? chapters

“Poor Near,” Mello says, stepping closer and pulling Near’s head back further, tilting her face up as Mello cages her against the wall. “How long have you liked me?” Near’s heart is kicking against her ribcage so hard it almost hurts, and her ears are burning with embarrassment. She squeezes her eyes shut, unable to hold the blonde’s gaze. “Mello, I...” she tries to speak, hoarse. “Has it been months?” Mello asks, her voice getting closer as Near feels her lean down. She braves a glimpse through her lashes and watches as Mello bends her head to brush her cheek against Near’s, putting her lips next to Near’s ear. “Years, maybe?” The older girl teases. Near finds it in herself to squeak out a “yes,” and almost jumps at Mello’s sharp intake of breath. “Years,” Mello marvels.

clean cut (bleed slow) rated T | 2,000 words

The sting of alcohol is sharp on Mello’s split lip, but she suppresses the wince that threatens to surface. It’s bad enough that she lost her shit in front of Near; like hell she’ll let Near see her look weak, too.

a world transformed (3/3) rated T | 1,700 words

In which a gift transforms the way Near understands the world.

series: together (always) kira investigation & post-kira 2 works; 7,040 words

i know i’m gonna lose you (but god, i don’t want to) rated E | 3,540 words

Near’s bedroom— her tidy little suite in her untidy little makeshift headquarters in a high-rise hotel in Tokyo— is lit only by the shine of the city and the glow of the moon. Because the moon is full and because the city is bright, Mello can see her perfectly. Every little hair on her arms and legs catch the light as she sheds her soft, simple bra. The only thing Mello has taken off so far are her gloves. --- In which Mello rings in 2010 with some good old-fashioned lesbian sex and a minor emotional crisis.

it’s you and me, that’s my whole world rated T | 3,500 words

Once she reaches the first floor and steps out of the elevator, Near hears a voice floating down the hall. It’s a woman’s voice, so it must be Lidner, but the pitch of it and the cadence of speech seems painfully similar to the way Mello talked, even without being able to hear the actual words. The closer she gets, the more it sounds like her dead lover, and Near curses how cruel her mind’s tricks are. She has to grit her teeth and breathe in deep to get herself to push through the door into the main office, feeling almost nauseous with grief again already. A blonde woman in a red winter jacket stands with her back to Near, but she turns when the toy in Near’s hand clatters to the ground. Mello’s eyes are tired, underlined by dark circles, but she grins. “Hey, Near.”

series: you got your eyes from the stars 2 works; 2,925 words

starry eyes sparking up my darkest night (1/2) rated T | 930 words

Near has a nightmare on the flight back to New York after the end of the Kira case; Mello, still tipsy off of the red wine they served in first class, is unexpectedly tender.

fireworks somewhere far away (2/2) rated T | 1,995 words

It’s the fourth of July. Or, rather, it’s still the fourth of July in the United States, which is where they live, but they’re in Madrid at the moment, so technically where they are it’s the fifth. It’s not hard math to figure out what time it is back home— it’s a little before six in the morning here, so it’ll be a little before midnight in New York. Somewhere on the West Coast or in the Rocky Mountains, though, there are fireworks going off. That’s what Near is thinking when Mello kisses her for the first time.

series: unforeseen circumstances 2 works; 10,515 words

unknown caller (1/2) rated E | 3,300 words

“What are you wearing?” Near’s brow furrows in confusion. “What I always have worn.” “Mm. It’s summer, so— linen, right?” “Correct.” She wonders, then, if Mello asked the question to prompt Near to ask the same in return. Sometimes people do that. This is something she has learned since Mello left. “What are you wearing?” Near asks politely. “I am wearing,” Mello says, breathy, “black lace. It’s this— this fucking expensive set, you know— nice lingerie. I look good in it.” The description is extremely vague. Near does not know what nice lingerie looks like— she wears the same kind of cotton boyshort underwear every single day and a soft, thin bra. She also does not, honestly, know what Mello’s aim is in telling her this. It seems unlikely that she would call for the first time in five years to gloat about her finery, so there must be some kind of purpose to it, she just— “I’m touching myself,” Mello announces. Near drops the phone.

unexpected visitor (2/2) rated E | 7,215 words

By the time Mello makes her way to New York and into Near’s bedroom, she has both seriously pissed Near off (by using the murder notebook to kill half her organization) and permanently disfigured herself (by blowing up a building while she was still inside it). She’d imagined slightly rosier circumstances for taking Near’s virginity, but Mello is nothing if not adaptable. She’ll make do or die trying.

standalone works (complete)

the end of a long winter rated T | 2,025 words

Five years after the end of their relationship, Matt visits Mello in Minneapolis and meets her not-so-new girlfriend, whose face is a lot more familiar than he’d been expecting.

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leap day rated E | 1,770 words

“Just— take my word for it. It’s a thing. The stuff that happens on leap day doesn’t count. It’s like Vegas.” / Near’s brow furrows. “As in Las Vegas?” “Yeah. You know the saying— what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” “But we live in Chicago.” “Holy shit,” Mello snaps, “that’s not the point! The point is— it’s— it’s leap day. We can do whatever. It doesn’t count. Are you in or not?”

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wedding doves & leather gloves rated E | 1,000 words

“Don’t tell me,” Near says, derisive tone tainted by her words wavering. “You want to hear that I’m yours.” Exquisite pain blossoms across her scalp as Mello yanks on her hair. “Don’t be a fucking brat,” Mello hisses. “Answer me. What are you, Near?” “I’m a detective,” she replies flatly. “Just like you are.”

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crying only because i’m happy rated E | 575 words

In which Mello lovingly overwhelms her good girl.

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magnetic forces rated M | 1,250 words

Near and Mello’s flight back from their case is cancelled due to inclement weather. The timing is... suboptimal. In which Near discloses that she’s due to go into heat before they can return to headquarters, and Mello is extremely calm and normal about that.

standalone works (in progress)

bury us both rated E | 23,438 words | 12/15 chapters

Mello is demonstrably capable of killing, and has perhaps more reason to want Near dead than anyone else on the face of the earth. They were once rivals, and Near knows a fragment of that resentment lingers even now. She is also likely the only person who could successfully bring Mello to justice, so her very existence is a threat to Mello’s, in a sense. If that weren’t enough, there is the fact that Mello could make a fortune, too, were she to kill Near. There are no shortage of people who would pay a handsome sum to see L’s head on a platter. And it would be so simple for her to do it, so easy. She’s had countless opportunities— the two of them alone, Near in all kinds of vulnerable positions, any number of potentially deadly weapons within reach— but she’s never taken one. Despite having every possible motive and every possible chance, Mello has not killed her. On more than one occasion, she’s even protected Near. This is how she knows Mello loves her in her way, even if she has not said it aloud. Even if it isn’t enough to make her stay. -- Mello and Near through the years, in love and in agony.

category: other

wrong idea rated E | 2,700 words

She kept flirting with Near. Kept showing her the songs she was working on, sitting close to her on the couch to play her new melodies and try out her latest lyrics. Kept checking Near out in ways she knew weren’t subtle. It was little more than idle entertainment, initially— Near’s enthusiasm was endearing and encouraging, and it seemed sometimes like she might have a little crush on Mello— but it steadily developed into more. And then Mello started pushing her luck. Putting her arm around Near’s thin little shoulders, leaning in to tease her gently. Doing Near’s eyeliner after she complimented Mello’s. Giving Near rides on the back of her motorcycle and stealing candy for her from gas stations. Thinking about Near when she wasn’t around, often, and not at all innocently. Before she realized it, Mello had stopped trying to pick up other girls altogether, even at the gigs Near didn’t go to. She just didn’t want them. All she wanted was Matt’s girlfriend.

category: M/F

obedience training rated E | 950 words | 2/2 chapters

When Near first puts the leather around his neck, Mello sort of wants to roll his eyes, but then she looks so pleased with herself that it’s very hard to begrudge her anything.

faded to oblivion rated E | 3.6k words | 2/? chapters

When Near phoned and asked to see him, he had a few vague guesses as to what she might need from him. This was not on the list.

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i’m your man rated E | 1,825 words | 3/? chapters

Near is an angel, and Mello her dog, a rotten-mean stray no-one else would have kept.

[lily-alphonse]

Do you have any fandoms that you want to write for someday but haven’t? Or just a fandom you’re quietly into? ~

I'm amazed you guys like me yammering but I will never stop as long as the asks keep coming lmao. This is such a good question thank you my sweet (I will get to your ship asks asap I promise)

I am fairly nomadic when it comes to fandoms actually, if I want to write for one I do so pretty much right away. That's how Ive managed to rack up 14 fandoms in 8 months (on AO3).

That being said, I do have unposted WiPs that belong to fandoms I haven't yet written for.

ATLA: I still really want to write that Earth King fic. If it was a simple smut I would have done it already but alas the idea has become complicated (ie: long)

Pixar Cars: CARS FIC MY BELOVED IM CHOMPING AT THE BIT FOR MY CARS FIC lol ever since I started my current longfic Ive wanted to write a Doc x Lightning human AU longfic but I can only allow myself one longfic at a time or I get overwhelmed

Mario: Donkario smut. Lol. I know no one cares about it but me, but I will do it eventually (ESPECIALLY because one of my favorite Donkario bookmarks got deleted??!?!!?! Yall dont delete your fics I beg 😭)

Finding Nemo: (Yeah more Pixar but I imagine the fandoms are pretty separate idk) Another human AU where I pair the sexy old mentor with the young guy (age gap yaoi my beloved) But it's also a gang AU!

The Road to El Dorado: I thought about this one recently, I don't actually have any plan whatsoever but MY GOD do I NEED to write for this movie. It is literally so primed for shipping every which way it's insane. Why is everyone so hot? Why is this movie so incredibly bisexual?

Literally all of these are smuts which is great because my account is now way more full of T-rated fics than I ever intended lol. Pretty much just me going back through my childhood favorites and sexualizing everything. That's what becoming an adult is right? Idk no one's taught me.

Thanks again for the ask! ♥️♥️ If anyone has questions about any of these my asks are open

[leprosycock]

Could I ask what the story is between your characters? I see little snippets of it with the qnas on your twitter, but will there ever be some sort of comic aspect to it? or writing? They are so interesting to me I must ask.

thank you, i’m so happy that you find them so intriguing!! <333

their ask blog that i crosspost from is here at @ttwkyasks and information about the individual characters are here. they’ve spawned and grown and twisted quite a lot over time, but they originally came from a really dramatic and batshit insane streamer yaoi fic that i began to transform into a piece of original work. the final product will be a multimedia graphic novel that i’m working on behind the scenes, but in the meantime i’m running the ask blog to help develop them as well as i possibly can and iron out kinks in the story.

essentially the plot is about how the hayes family, for all intents and purposes, suffers from a generational curse in which their systems are damaged from a cancerous perversity and they will suffer from a taboo attraction to their own body and blood. each patriarch will poison the next unless the bloodline is completely cut off and no more haysees are born. jay hayes suffered at the hands of his father, who he loathes for poisoning him and relishing in the pleasure he got from the atrocious acts he committed. at age twenty-one, he graduated from community college with a teaching certificate and very quickly married a french immigrant, abigail, who he met at one of his classes in a drunken flurry. unbeknownst to jay, abigail had a murky past that she didn’t offer much information on and none of it really mattered to jay. he was determined to prove that he wouldn’t make the same mistakes that his father did by never producing a son, but instead living happily and domestically in a nice little house in the middle of phoenix, arizona, the complete opposite of where he’d grown up. unfortunately for him, abigail began to rapidly fall out of love with jay as he became more and more dependent on alcohol and much less intimate with her. their marriage was thrown into a brutal upset when abigail realized she was pregnant after a condom broke and jay went into a mad, anxious spiral, loathing his unborn son and loathing abigail more for refusing to get an abortion. after annie was born, abigail (who was only nineteen at the time) suffered heavily from postpartum depression and couldn’t connect with her newborn son, so she fled back to boston to live with her family and the son she actually cared about, who she had had at the age of sixteen and had been under the care of her grandparents. jay was now a single father and forced to care for what he thought was a living ticking time bomb.

at the age of eleven, annie approached jay and admitted that he’d experienced something he couldn’t recognize when a girl had stepped on him during recess. jay realized he couldn’t avoid not his nor annie’s fate for any longer and he explained the generational curse to annie, who failed to understand it and its stakes, but he did have an awareness that everything was going to change. ever since then, jay and annie have operated in very twisted, demented ways that are not remotely within the normal confines of a father and son, but instead borderline enemies, hated friends, estranged divorcees, etc etc. annie is currently dating a girl in his grade named claire and jay is dating a college boy named eva. if there’s anything else you’d like to know about them, you can always ask the boys questions at the blog :3c

[spacerhapsody]

It has recently come to light that my deepest, darkest (Digimon) fandom secret is that I didn’t always ship Taito, and @hazelestelle was kind/curious enough to ask the following question in that shipping ask game:

18. A ship you never thought you would ship but do.

Buckle up, kids, because it’s time for a (long) trip down memory lane.

The year is 2002, and after about a year of exploring the internet via small guestbooks and messaging boards, someone finally pointed me towards the central German anime site. And while I think I had seen a couple of people publishing their own stories online and had written one or two myself, I hadn’t realized before that the concept of fanfic was a whole thing, let alone how much of it there was out there.

I also didn’t know yet that you could properly ship things that aren’t canon. Back then, I thought Yamto and Sora were really cute together (probably I mostly thought Yamato was the coolest person ever and was using Sora to heavily project onto), and apparently so did other people, because I easily found and read quite a few stories about them.

Now what you have to remember is that tags or any kind of useful sorting system just wasn’t a thing back then, which is how I ended up with a sliiightly different story, but I didn’t know that yet.

The fic was labeled with all kinds of warning – but I had absolutely no idea what any of those words meant. I’d only just discovered that Taichi and Yamato were Tai and Matt’s Japanese/actual names and just figured “Taito” and “Yamachi” were other (nick)names for them, and since it was popular to just throw random Japanese words into your fic at the time, and half of the time people didn't even use them right, I didn’t bother to look up what “Shounen-Ai” and “Yaoi” meant.

So I had no idea what I was getting into when I started reading, and after a couple of chapters I might have found it a bit weird that Sora was so little in it, but apparently I’ve also always enjoyed a good slow-burn, so I kept on reading. I don’t even remember when I realized that there was something going on between Yamato and Taichi, but I do remember that I was fascinated, and that I couldn’t stop reading, especially once it became obvious/something actually happened between them.  

(Why do I care so much about queer people, says queer person years before she figures out she’s queer herself, etc.)

Anyways, the story was long (and my internet time limited), so it took days, if not weeks of surreal summer evenings until I was done, but I read the whole thing.

And for whatever reason… I took this as my sign to start shipping Daisuke and Ken (and a variety of DBZ characters). XD

I’ve absolutely no idea why that was what I took away from the whole thing, it’s not even that I disliked the ship (yet), I always kind of understood why people were shipping them, maybe it was simply because Digimon 02 was much more present in my mind than the first season at the time?

But then I started looking for Daisuke/Ken stories (again, without a lot of help from the websites themselves), and it was an absolute nightmare.

You simply couldn’t find anything that didn’t have Yamato/Taichi as the main ship instead, that didn’t feature them as the reason Daisuke and Ken were figuring themselves out, or didn’t have them as the “older, wiser” couple at least one of them went to for advice, and I was steadily growing more and more annoyed by them.

And it was like this for years. I think it got even worse (Adventure, and thus Yamato/Taichi, has always been more popular than any of the 02 characters, and even more so after they lost their momentum).

They just were everywhere, in every goddamn fic, no matter what other pairing you were actually looking for. I was once reading some football RPS, and when the guys in that story were listening to the radio, the host mentioned someone had called in and asked to play the previous song, from Yamato to Taichi (or the other way round) – you can’t even make that shit up.

At this point they just annoyed me so much that I made a point of not shipping them, and I think I’d also reached a point where I was a bit tired of the whole “they’re rivals/always beating each other up, so they obviously are in love” trope.

I also discovered Taichi/Koushiro (which I still think is an amazing ship that at least the German fandom has always been completely sleeping on), so I had even more reason to not ship Yamato/Taichi.

And I honestly think it would always have been this way, but then tri. happened. And hit me with full force. Because they were older, and somewhat calmer/less aggressive around each other, but still very much themselves, and most of all so blatantly obvious.

I was still in denial during most of part 1, but I already knew when Mimi shoved them into a Ferris wheel cabin and declared the group had brought them together that I was fighting a losing battle, and by part 2 with the entire onsen visit and the bickering afterwards, it was over.

Look. I get it. They’re really it. They work so well together, there’s so much there, they’re the blueprint for so many anime ships, they give me way too many feelings. (Help.)

I still don’t really ship them pre!tri., though. Partly probably because of my history with the ship, but also because I like their dynamic so much better now, and because I simply like the idea of people getting together later in life, or at the very least after they’ve at least finished high school.

TL;DR: I never, ever thought I’d fall into Taito hell, and yet here I am, in the year 2k24, absolutely obsessed with them once again. Thank you, Digimon, you’re the gift that keeps on giving.