#yall these are canon because I said so

[caspinsoands0]

Okay everyone loves their beef boss and tomatohead as either really big bad Tomatohead and a incompetent beef boss or a just a pure hate for eachother friendship,

But I like my beef boss and tomatohead to be ex’s, old men, and very tired. Beef boss was friends with Tomatohead but got sour and bitter when Tomatohead started his own cult and tried to convert him. Beef boss gets all grumpy on everyone, explaining why he hates Tomatohead and why everyone doesn’t like him (he wasn’t in the foodie battalion and there isn’t any characters besides his crew that like him outside of his restaurant) and Tomatohead to be an actual nice dude with npd and he started the cult for validation but when he lost beef boss he got super upset and went more whacko and went all in with the whole turning people into tomatoes. That would explain why people like him compared to beef boss, because he’s just a good face, but he secretly wants to apologize to beef boss for freaking out on him but beef boss is so out of it and bitter that he won’t let go of it. Hence why epic always says that they’re enemies and friends, because deep down they don’t actually hate eachother but they’re so far into this rabbit hole and both are too stubborn to admit they’re wrong they keep themselves from solving their Pizza vs. Burger dispute.

DurrrPit angst for the win let’s get a highfive for sad old Fortnite men 😛😛😛

[sentient-forest]

#cecilsweep and Welcome to Night Vale trending #1 in 2023

[thethoriumreactor]

so like….. chaggie college au anyone

I’m thinking designs based on their demon forms instead of like human before dying give me ur thoughts yeah

Charlie fell first vaggie fell harder it’s canon

[pikinanouart]

Can we please have some o7 in the chat for the real MVP Martha?

Even if we all knew the outcome of their story, it still hurts!

(Don't mind me while I'm aggressively chopping onions.)

Becky not knowing that Martha's lover was Mr. Henderson is a funny surprise but I guess it makes sense, Martha wouldn't want her pupil to ask inappropriate question to her professor.

I still hope Becky figures it out and go into Operation Matchmaker.

[bvckbiter]

me going into the rr crit tag lately: perhaps you would be happier writing your own books

[thechaotichorselord]

Been thinking.

The Unwanted Guest AU is inspired by the Stanley Parable. It has a lot of the same concepts and is technically an alternate universe, but i want to be able to freely add different things to it. So in this case it’s both an AU and not an AU!

It’s my fellas! My silly guys! It’s not even close to canon, and that’s alright! I enjoy the canon story, and I enjoy what my brain ripped from the game. It’s mine to enjoy.

I want people to enjoy the story, so I’ll continue doing it. But since I want to make it even more of my own thing, I’m going to add some stuff that isn’t related to canon. I’ve been trying so, so hard to make it seem like it can fit with canon in some way, but nah. I’ve given up on that. It’s my stupid little story, and I’ll add all the doohickeys I want.

Thems the breaks or wtv (don’t mind that i popped out of my break to say this, lalala)

tldr; unwanted guest isn’t canon to tsp and i’ve finally accepted that so ima add more thingies to it (BUT I CONSIDER IT TO BE RELATED TO THE FANDOM ANYWAYS)

[ashpkat]

in my idealized version of the books (the Good timeline), jericho and constantine’s relationship is not the one aaron and calls relationship parallels — it’s constantine and joseph. in this essay i will *gets taken out by cassandra clare’s snipers*

[binglepringle]

I love Pinterest alignment charts, cause sometimes I find gems like this

[multi-fandom-lunatic]

harry potter needs to die.

[anxiously-sidequesting]

anyways seeing Duncan still with the Schism at the end left me like ☹️

[aphelea]

save yourself tonight

Once again I'm a day late but shh. We'll ignore that. Anyway, here's my fun little fic for @tiertice-week-2023 day 3: AU.

@gay-otlc @cogaytes y'all get tagged for all my tiertice bullshit

Summary: In an alternate universe, Tiergan is there when Alden and Quinlin come to arrest Prentice. Desperate to save his lover, Tiergan throws himself into the fire instead.

Ao3

“It was me.”

The room was pin-drop silent, and Quinlin and Alden shared an indecipherable look. Slowly, Tiergan stepped in front of Prentice, holding Alden’s gaze all the while. 

“What?” Quinlin asked after a moment. “Look, Sir Tierg—”

“Don’t call me that,” he snapped. 

Quinlin huffed. “Tiergan, then. We’re not here for you.”

“You could be,” Tiergan replied, and he could almost feel Prentice’s eyes boring into his back. “If I said that I was secretly a rebel sympathizer, and that I had stolen, classified Council documents sitting in my office, you’d have no choice but to take me instead.”

“We’re perfectly capable of arresting both of you,” Alden replied coolly. “I’d advise you to watch your words, Sir Tiergan, given the severity of these charges.” 

“You have no evidence but some hunches and a handful of odd—but not incriminating—registry records.” Tiergan said. “Your accusations are unfounded.”

Alden’s carefully neutral expression twitched slightly, and Tiergan allowed himself a smidgen of satisfaction at having annoyed Alden Vacker enough to break his emotionless facade. “I’d argue that we have more than enough evidence to arrest the both of you, now. But I’m feeling generous, and I’d rather not do so today.”

“Generous?” Tiergan scoffed. “You’re ripping a man away from his family, his wife, his son. I’d hardly call that generous.”

Quinlin clicked his tongue. “There are always consequences for those that break the law, regardless of their familial relations.”

Tiergan opened his mouth to speak, but stopped as Prentice laid a cool hand on his shoulder and stepped forward. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I’m afraid there’s been a few misunderstandings, here.”

“On the contrary, Mr. Endal, I think this situation is quite simple. We only have a few questions to ask you, and after that—”

“He’s innocent,” Tiergan cut in. “Don’t drag him into this.”

Tiergan, what the hell are you doing? Prentice’s voice appeared in his mind. 

I’m doing what’s right. What I deserve, and you do, too. 

Prentice let out a sigh. This is part of my job, Tiergan, you know that. I’m the Keeper. 

Exactly, which is why you should be out here, free, with Cyrah and Wylie and protecting our secrets. All I am is another spy. Our world can survive without me. 

Tiergan–

“I confess to the crime of treason and rebel sympathies,” Tiergan blurted out. 

Both Quinlin and Alden froze in their tracks and locked eyes, no doubt sharing a matching telepathic conversation to his and Prentice’s. “I have spent my life actively working to undermine the Council and any institutions over which they preside. I am also guilty of having intentionally altered registry records of myself and others, which you will find to be the reason behind the oddities in Prentice’s records.”

“Are you crazy?” Prentice hissed, and Tiergan made his best attempt at an overdramatic sigh. 

“My love,” he said, turning and grabbing Prentice’s hands. Alden sucked in a breath at the words. “I apologize for betraying you.”

“What–”

Tiergan had read enough romance novels in his life to know how this situation should go, how he should go about convincing Quinlin and Alden that Prentice was simply an innocent, deceived lover, unaware of his partner’s treasonous actions. If Tiergan could seem dramatic and devastated enough, the Cognates might actually believe that he felt guilty over almost framing his lover. 

Plus,  Tiergan had more than enough experience painting himself to be someone he wasn’t. 

He forced tears to his eyes—which, unsurprisingly, wasn’t particularly difficult—and threw his arms around Prentice, pulling him into what seemed from the outside to be a mournful hug between hurt lovers. Instead, he used it to lean next to Prentice’s ear and whisper, “I’m sorry.”

“What the hell are you doing? They came for me, because of my mistakes—”

“They came to find a Black Swan operative. And they did. Me. I’m just one person, Prentice, I’m nothing unique to this cause, but you? You’re our Keeper, our light, our most dangerous weapon.” Tiergan paused, then added. “Go live a happy life, love. You deserve it.”

Alden cleared his throat, and the two broke apart. “Sir Tiergan,” he began, and Tiergan wanted to slap him just for the name. “I’ll admit, this new information certainly alters our hypotheses. In any case, if you truly are confessing to this…long list of crimes, it will certainly warrant a Tribunal.”

Tiergan scoffed. “Well, I’m sure you’d be overjoyed to see me Exiled.” 

Alden shifted uncomfortably, and Quinlin, ever the knight in shining armour, jumped to his rescue. “Watch your words, Mr. Alenefar. Your apparent protection of Mr. Endal is certainly noble, but I don’t think you’ve quite considered the severity of the consequences to come.”

“Prentice doesn’t need me to protect him from shit,” Tiergan snapped. “I’ve told you what you wanted to know, so you can either fuck off right now or drag me with you in chains. And, trust me, I’m well aware of the consequences.”

Prentice frowned. “Tiergan...”

But Alden stepped forward and locked the magisidian handcuffs around Tiergan’s wrists, and he didn’t resist. There was no point in resistance; what was done had been done, what was said had been said, and now Tiergan only had to pay the price. 

A Tribunal. A mind break. Exile. 

An awfully high price to keep Prentice free, but Tiergan would never let Wylie and Cyrah be abandoned because of his and Prentice’s foolish attempts at fairness in the Lost Cities. Yes, Tiergan was willing to die for an impossible ideal, and that was fine—he had almost nothing to keep him from rashness, nothing except Prentice. But Prentice? Prentice had everything to lose. He had status, a wife, a son—and neither Cyrah nor Wylie deserved to be collateral damage from his and Tiergan’s idiocy. 

“I’m sorry, love,” Tiergan said, as the Cognates dragged him away. “I’m so sorry.”

But Prentice could only stare back in shocked, betrayed silence. 

[sege-h]

Its PPRIDE and its the FIRST EVER ARO VISIBILITY DAY, allowing me to unlock my powers to fire godzilla beams from my mouth and evaporate anyone that implies Sonic wouldnt save or try to save Shadow if he wasnt gay for him

WOULD YOU RESERVE LIFE SAVING TO YOUR ROMANTIC PARTNERS ONLY, AND LEAVE "ONLY" A FRIEND TO FALL FROM SPACE? BECAUSE THEYRE "JUST" A FRIEND?

PATHETIC

WEAK

IF I WERE SONIC ID SIMPLY SAVE EVERYONE WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP ALONE--oh wait he already does that

😤

[girlokwhatever]

i’d love making out w/ paige head canons 💕 like the ones u did with kate

paige bueckers x gf!reader making out hcs

༉‧₊˚°•*⁀➷✧༊*· paige bueckers and her gf making out,,

— one word: touchy.

- her hands are all over your body like she can’t even control herself

— she loves having you pressed flat against her, preferably on top because……

- she wants to touch your ass!

— it never starts innocent. she has a purpose and a plan

— she likes to take it slow, but she’s so fucking energetic it’s difficult

- it’s never slow.

— it actually gets so out of control your teeth will clash and she still doesn’t care

- she says it adds sexiness.

— passion, passion, passion!

— she definitely will slap your ass at least three times

- she loves it mostly because of the way you’ll moan into her mouth afterwards

- she also just loves your ass!

— you only spur her on which makes it even harder to stop if she’s late for practice or something

— she loves loves loves to bite down on your bottom lip

- i can’t explain it

— yall know she has her playlists…..

— always teases you through your underwear or whatever pants you’re wearing

- pulls away just to make fun of how wet you are like it isn’t her fault or something….

— she’s actually obsessed with the look of you trying to catch your breath..

- chest heaving, soft breaths that she can feel fanning over her face……. yeah.

— the first time the two of you ever made out she was literally shaking

- life-altering experience

— “i think my jaw is cramping paige”

- “we haven’t even been making out that long.”

- “it’s been over an hour.”

— she’ll pull your clothes off while simultaneously making out because she doesn’t have time to do them both separately

- she needs you right now.

— if she pulls away to say something she doesn’t even really pull away

- she’ll whisper it onto your lips

— “you’re gonna kill me.”

— she will make out in the middle of sex

- there’s literally nothing she’d rather do

— genuinely obsessed with tracing your spine idk

— “don’t go, please. i want more, paige..”

- “yeah? you want more?”

- this is how she discovered she’s never too busy for you

— best way to ease tension???? making out with you of course!

— if she’s under you….

- she’s grinding up into you.

— actually likes to make out with you while her hair is down because…

- she honestly loves when you pull it!

- WHO SAID THAT???

— definitely loves a good french kiss cause who doesn’t???

— “baby come back to bed..”

- “paige..”

- “get back in bed so i can kiss you.”

- “…fine.”

[sophsicle]

okay, hold my drink *hands u cursed ancient goblet full of mead* i gotta talk my shit for a second.

ive been seeing a lot of severus snape love recently. and this is fine, obviously, y'all can love whomever you want. but. i need to rant or i will explode. if we're talking about canon. severus snape spends his adult years, seven books of it in fact, abusing children. and his excuse for this is the girl he loved (tho not enough not to join a group actively trying to exterminate her) fell for the hot jock instead of him (a tragedy indeed, i weep 4 him, i really do). and also she died, which, admittedly is very sad.

it is simply crazy 2 me 2 look at that and think *romance* or *genuine care and affection*. LIKE. fo real. snape calls her a slur in public, apologizes in private, hangs out with dudes who commit hate crimes against her friends (CANONICALLY, she says "you've been hanging out with that douchebag Mulciber, how could you do that after what he did to Mary???" this is not a direct quote but like, it's close enough). lame. loser behaviour.

"Oh but what about regulus" i can hear you say "he loves James potter but snape doesn't love lily???" well. idk. maybe. bit different tho, innit? due to james not being the demographic regulus is attacking (which doesn't make regulus a better person but does make the dynamic between him and james different). ALSO. Regulus chooses to turn against voldemort without hope for anything in return. snape doesn't seem to give a shit about voldemort, he's just sad he's not gonna get to bang lily evans. he switches sides for that reason alone. also doesn't care about what happens to her husband or her son which like. considering lily would be pretty fucking destroyed if they died. once again points to my whole, he doesn't really give a shit about her, theory. lame. loser. behaviour.

also. im sorry. I"M SORRY. but what snape does to neville? to hermione? to harry? gross. a grown ass man out here telling an eleven year old neville he's worthless or hermione she's ugly and annoying. or spilling harry's potion and refusing to grade him for it???????????????

reg and draco are children when we see them at peak suckage and therefore they feel like they can be redeemed much more compellingly (CAN be, not SHOULD be, not HAVE to be, just narratively i think they are easier to turn into interesting, sympathetic characters). but snape? snape grows up into a garbage adult. like he doesn't get better. and again, the only real excuse we're given is his obsession with lily. not very demure. not very cutesy.

ALSO. yall remember that time he got a destitute, struggling Remus Lupin fired from the best job he ever had just because he felt like it? remember that time snape weaponized Remus's lycanthropy and people's prejudice against him just cause. like. literally just cause??? his ego was bruised after the shrieking shack incident so he was like "get wrecked Lupin I'm going to tell everyone your secret so you will be forced back out onto the streets" DO YALL REMEMBER THAT BITCH ASS MOVE????????? THAT HE DID AS A FULL ADULT.

IN CONCLUSION, this is silly and, of course, like i said at the start, everyone can have their own thoughts and feelings about characters, but i simply needed to interject here on behalf of snape haters everywhere because i feel like so much of snape's shitty behaviour as an adult during a time when he was really under no duress and was very safe and cozy, is ignored. and my hater heart just cannot let that stand.

[cherry-pop-elf]

Cup Of Sugar

Deadpool x Reader x Wolverine

Authors Note: Since Yall finally see the beauty of Poolverine, you finally get some stupid fluff. Here ya go

Sum: You were neighbors with Blind Al, and that chaotic son of hers. Recently you’ve been hearing alot of noise, and figured you check on them both. Like a good neighbor. Seems to have been just the right time

Warnings: Fluff, canon typical violence, Logan and Wade being so gay in their own way, Blind Al being a total wing woman, dogpool aprecitation post, family fluff because god dammit Mama Blind Al and her sons boyfriend with their new dog domestic fluff is needed!

“Will you two knock it off! I don’t need another damn couch in this house-!” You would hear Al shout. Not the first time, but the noise seemed so much more wild as of recent. Like some kind of badger was joining the party. Couldn’t help it with your worry. She was blind after all. So, here you are. Knocking on her door.

“Get along-! Well, or like STOP GETTING ALONG-!” You heard her snapping, before yanking the door open. “The hell you want?” She asked, before you would clear your throat.

“Hey Miss Althea-!” The moment she heard your voice she had softened into that motherly state she always had for you. Not many people in the complex really enjoyed her company, or her son’s, but you always took the time to say hi to her. Not treat her any less inferior because of her blindness.

“Oh hey baby! Come on in, get in here-!” She just beamed, and laughed. Happy to have someone new to talk to. Can get lonely, after all. From many of your conversations with her, when helping her take the groceries to her apartment, her son Wade was often on business trips. Nice to have some company.

Inside was certainly a chaotic mess. You swore someone ran around like a Tasmanian Devil in there. Pictures asque, cushions everywhere, a couch shredded like it was thrown in a blender. You were wondering what the hell happened. Was it a break in? Had you worried sick, before a bark caught your attention.

“PUPPY-!” You couldn’t stop yourself from squealing, as you knelt to the floor. Right next to the dog in her dog bed. All snuggled with plushies of what you guessed were her favorite heros, and seeming to be the one area of the apartment that escaped this fire. Least whoever attacked the home had some kind of morals.

“That ugly thing? That’s ’Mary Puppins’ as the dynamic duo calls them. She that ugly kinda cute. She always knows when you need someone to cuddle, that’s for sure. I ain’t complaining. Nice having company.” Al would explain to you, as you were hypnotized by her cuteness. Had her cradled in your arms, and giving her all the belly scratches.

“She’s perfect.” You cooed, as you gave her fluffy head a kiss. Had her barking happily at your attention. Seemed said barking finally got the attention of the two rascals in the home. A bickering of panic French was held, before you turned your head. As to see what the French was going on.

“Hey-“ A burly man would wave, before seeming to shove the other person into a bedroom. In some kind of mad panic, as if to hide them from you. For some reason.

“Oh, hey. Uh, hi.” You would stand up, Pup in hand, as you registered what you were looking at. He wasn’t the tallest man around, and honestly? Might be even shorter than yourself. Didn’t take away the fact he was built like a truck. Somehow all tucked away behind a torn up wife beater and jeans. Looked like he had been fighting someone with a set of knives. On top of knives. With more knives.

“That’s Logan. My kids new boyfriend.” Al would brush off casually, as she would find herself towards the couch. Just to sit there, and most definitely keep an ear out for the drama to happen now.

“We aren’t….It’s complicated-“ He tried to explain, before said Wade popped his cheery ass out. Having been in such a rush to join the party, he was wearing his shirt backwards. You would argue his boxers to, but a puppy keeps anyone’s attention.

“Oh hey! Peanut, that’s our neighbor. About time you met the sweetheart. Don’t do anything Logany. Or do, kinda a freak. Just saying-“ He would nudge at the shorter man, as said man rolled his eyes.

“Hey Wade-! When did you get this little girl? And uh, the hell happened here?” You were pretty used to Wades insanity at this point, hence why he called you a freak (in that sweet way endearing way) so maybe there was an explanation on all this.

“Thats Mary Puppens. The sweetest shit stain around. We got her from uh….A cousin. Passed away. Terrible terrible. Can’t have her left alone.” Wade would explain, as Logan would walk over. Gave the pup a gentle scratch under her chin that made her shake her leg just right. She clearly loved her new parents dearly.

“And the mess here?” You would raise a brow, before Wade tugged at his collar. That’s when he noticed it was backwards, and kept himself busy with fixing it. Left Logan to have to bite the bullet.

“….Redecorating…..” Logan offered, as you just stared at the two. A brow raised, as you didn’t buy it for a single second. You weren’t stupid. You weren’t going to fall for the ‘put on a hat and jacket and suddenly you can’t make out a superhero from a crowd’ trope. Something suspicious was going on.

“Just be direct, will ya?! If anyone can be trusted it’s gonna be that there sugar.” Al would practically scold the two little dumbasses. Just like a mother would to her so , and his boyfriend, who were trying to dance around a topic.

“Are you two super humans of some kind? You don’t have to tell me more. Just….Dont wanna worry about little Pup here and Al. Ya know?” That seemed to make Logan pause. As if your kindness, and realness, was a shock to have. A welcomed one, but you’ll still get caught off guard if you ate trash and suddenly had a pallet cleanser of lime sherbet shoved in your mouth.

“Do you mean super human as super human, or super human like mutant powers, or super human like experimented on, or super human like as a-“ And Logan promptly smacked the back of Wades head. Treating him like a skipping record. Had you giggle, since now you didn’t have to worry about the violence. Able to comprehend they just don’t feel pain like others.

“Super human is all that needs to be said, bub.” Logan warned him, as he held up his fist. You thought to punch, but you swore the top of his hand was twitching. Not like a muscle spasm. Way too uniformed. As if three veins were bulging. Maybe it was better not to question it.

“Now, why are you even here?” Logan would try his blunt coldness on you, but living next to the likes of Wade doesn’t really phase you. This was a world of super heros and inhumans. Can’t scare you that easy.

“Came to check on Miss Althea. Heard a ruckus, that was louder than normal, so I came to check.” That had Logan scoff. To hear you being so ‘brave’ and coming over to the source of the noise. A admiring ‘so dumb but in a brave way’ admiring.

“He’s still grumpy from the turbulence, if you will-“ Wade would jazz hands, as if knowing things that no one else shouldn’t. He always did act like that. As if he just knew how the world worked better than others. You found it more so endearing than creepy, like others did.

“Oh! New here? Well welcome! Oh, maybe I can show you around? Wade and I know some pretty cool places. Oh! There’s a dog park that’s built for dogs who need more special care than others. We can all go there with Miss Puppins!” You were rambling like Wade, but had the clarity of Logan. A beautiful combination. One that had the two men smitten.

“Fuck yeah we can go to the dog park. Get dressed, Showman, come on-!” And Wade was running off to get changed. The typical attire of hoodie, face mask, glasses. Just layering. You didn’t find his skin disgusting, but given the world’s issues with pandemic it can’t be helped.

“Great, now you got him started again-“ Logan would complain, yet was already grabbing his leather jacket. Complaining, yet clearly willingly excited all the same. Just in his own way.

“Would you like to join us, Miss Althea?” You asked her, which gave her a bit of a surprise. You wanted her to come along? She normally never tagged along on things like this. Yet, you offered. Even though most times she would say no. Not this time.

“Someone needs to make sure you assholes don’t get into more shit.” She smarted off, but was already standing. With the help of Logan, of course. Just in time for Wade to return.

“Come on disabled gang! Let’s go!” He would clap, as Logan just kept rolling his eyes. You yourself were excited, and leading the charge now. All with Miss Puppins happy in your arms. So happy to have a big family to take her on adventures.

Nothing more sweet than a happy pup.

[lubrumalis]

ghost character analysis

tw: spoilers from ghost mw2 comics, nsfw, dead dove do not eat, mature content.

this is pretty much a part 2 to ghost headcanons except with more lore and analysis (im still not sure if reboot ghost has the same backstory as the og ghost).

ghost is not a cold, calculated, ruthless man. maybe in a separate au or something, but theres a huge difference between ghost and simon riley. in fact, we need to understand that the reason he even chose ghost as a new name for himself is because of all that's happened to him. his family got killed, he got tortured by roba, and had to eliminate many men on his own. before that he was simon, not ghost. in the comic he literally calls the child hostages he was saving ‘sweetheart’ and ‘love’. hes not that mean and cold yall

we know that PTSD does shit to it's victims, ghost lost his entire family and had no one. think of it as a coping mechanism to have a new name to be known as.

ghost is a ruthless killer. simon is just some guy.

ghost sets himself to an incredibly high standard of discipline. i think it's intuitive that military boys will need to be punctual and organized to some degree, but ghost takes this to a whole other level. considering his father's abusive behavior (explained by his disturbing statements said to simon, is a drug addict, and beats simons mom) his home life was likely chaotic as a child.

in the mw2: ghost comic (issue #3) it specifically stated the following: "discipline, precision, control. these are what riley built his whole life on. break those down and the dark stuff begins to ooze out..." again, this is probably a form of trauma response to his childhood.

so what does this lead to? well firstly, this probably means his room is incredibly tidy and organized (monotone design i know :,c).

would never in his life touch drugs. this is a promise he made to himself.

also kinda proves that ghost aint a reckless guy. he thinks things through before doing it.

ghost isn’t that hypersexual. theres no way of knowing his history with women, but i like to think ghost is not that horny 24/7 and needs a fuckbuddy. in the mw2 comic, he was on a mission and was in an area full of prostitutes (wasn’t actively on duty, but on his way) when they tried to hit on him he politely rejects one of them, and later tells them to fuck off😀 so yea contrary to popular belief i dont think he really enjoys one night stands or the idea of being entertained by random women. in fact, i hc he might actually be a virgin or just have a really low body count.

ghost is a feminist!😁 (misandrist too). ok let me reword that, ghost doesnt like men and respects women. one of the reasons why he doesn’t want to be around prostitutes and do one night stands (his father killed a hooker in front of him, very traumatic) is because he thinks the concept of quick, casual sex is not good for society and dilutes the value of meaningful relationships. but also, remember the discipline, precision, control thing? its apart of his principle. but also, in the comic, sparks (soldier he worked with) knocked out and attempted to rape a woman, ghosts literally looked disgusted and called the police (also why he’d never do that himself, i dont get the hcs that say he does). ghosts seen how his dad treated his mom and absolutely hates abusers. anyways onto misandry—i think ghost internally thinks men are violent and disgusting (ghosts would choose the bear over the man, even though hes a man) mainly because throughout his military career majority of the bad stuff hes seen was done by men, so hes much more relaxed in a room of women vs man. ghost thinks his dad is the epitome of pure evil (canon! he said this to his therapist). this doesn’t mean hes scared or hates all men tho!

ghost isn’t close with tf141… including soap. now before you attack me let me explain. sure, he trusts them to some degree, but i dont think they naturally just hangout when they’re not deployed. in the end we need to understand they are SAS soldiers, they are working a real job that mainly consists of them shooting and dismantling others. considering ghosts betrayal in the past (in the comic, a few soldiers ghost previously worked with killed his entire family 😢) he isn’t gonna just trust his teammates because theyre his teammates. im also pretty sure they all live in different cities while not deployed. tf141 probably all want to separate their job from their personal lives, which includes each other. but onto soap, i dont think him and ghost have a deep brotherly relationship. but i think they care about each other, but exchanging some dad jokes and bantering doesn’t mean they’re suddenly soulmates or brothers. think about it… you and you’re co worker joke around sometimes, never hangout outside of work, and now people are shipping you and calling the two of you besties. makes no sense.

ghost is extremely patriotic. in the comic (i reference this way too much but theres SOOO MUCH LORE i recommend reading it) ghost tells his teammates the reason for joining the military: queen and country, right after 9/11. he also said “the world has changed”. interestingly enough army enlistment did actually skyrocketed after 9/11 attacks, ghost was among them. he probably thought ww3 was about to happen, or that ‘theres no more peace’ or whatever. i hc being obsessed with soccer too lmao and getting mad if english teams dont win. also his playful banter with johnny “get us a tea?”. probably very proud of his british heritage.

ghost doesn’t have much friends. hes a really, reallyyyyy lonely guy. i hc him as an introvert in the first place, but trust issues make this worse. in the comic, he was literally in the newspaper for killing his family and then killing himself (he didnt, he was framed that way tho) so its likely most of his formers friends probably think hes dead. ghost likely got some sort of amnesty or exemption from the military after knowing he didn’t actually kill his family, but whats in the news stays true to the public. even if he does have friends he probably doesn’t share feelings with them or form a long term bond.

ghost is extremely cynical. this is obvious tbh, but i think ghost believes hes going to die in the middle of a battlefield, shot or stabbed, a painful death, body left to rot for weeks, and no one to remember him. just like that. and he accepts that fact too.

ghost isn’t a picky eater. growing up in an abusive household where his parents couldn’t hold a stable job, he had to eat what there was. some days he settles for cheap beans and toast and when people call him out for it, he tells em to fuck off😀

ghost is emotionally fucked up, probably kind of depressed. i mean this guys been through hell: got sa’d, buried alive, had to dig through underground dirt and worms with a jawbone, tortured in horrible ways, had his entire family killed, abusive dad, and the weight of his grey morales because he killed lots of people as a soldier. wow! would you look at that list, itd be more strange if he wasn’t emotionally fucked up after was has happened😅. even when tortured, seeing his family dead, ghost was never shown to have cried in the comic. i hc hes emotionally numb. however, i do think hes emotionally MATURE and able to communicate his emotions, but hes still emotionally fucked. for example a scene where he was talking about his experience with roba (guy who tortured ghost) and ghosts father to a therapist. i think ghosts may be traumatized, but this doesn’t stop him from attempting to get help and communicating how he feels and thinks about this world.

ghost wears a mask... not because hes insecure and traumatized it's to separate ghost from simon riley. first of all he learned the consequences of revealing your identity during deployment, in the comic, he reveals his face in missions before his family got killed. i think he wears a mask because 1) its practical, no one knows who he is, 2) an analogy for himself to remind him simon riley, his original identity, was dead the moment his family was murdered, this SAS soldier with a skull mask is GHOST (yes this is canon, ghost references in the comic!).

in issue #1 while some kids were being held hostage, he starts telling his life story to them to calm them down/distract them from the bad situation. this is his explanation to why he wears a skull mask, word by word: "I bet you're wondering why I wear these bones on my face. It's a tribute to an old friend of mine. He's dead now, but man if he wasn't the baddest motherfucker on the planet."

in issue #6, when ghost was trekking through a jungle in the middle of nowhere attempting to kill roba (a drug lord that started this all, brainwashed soldiers to kill ghosts family), he was never caught. ghost himself, the narrator, says that "even for a single man to get through the jungle, the patrols, the wall, the security... well that man would have to be a ghost."

however, im still a little confused whether or not reboot ghost and 2009 have the same backstories. reboot ghosts mask is more realistic and his look is much more intimidating, his reason for wearing that kind of mask is probably psychological warfare (getting milena the financier to speak up about makarov). i think 2009 ghosts reason to wearing a mask is more personal compared to reboot.

BUT WHAT ABOUT AN S/O???

i think ghost is the guy to not have one in the first place. obviously. but i lowkey think if he had one and really liked them, he would commit. in fact i find it hard to imagine hes a player or isn’t serious about relationships. when his brother tommy got addicted to drugs and fucked up his life, simon quit the military until tommy got 100% better and married. yup. he stayed to help him recover, for years. thats how loving and committed this man is🥹🥹.

ghost would not cheat on his s/o. i can't stress how important this hc is, because it's so out of character for him to do so. sure, guys in the military statistically have higher divorce rates, incidences of infidelity, and much more red flag stuff, but knowing what happened to him, he would never do that. doesn't matter how stressed, lonely, sexually frustrated this man is; he would not cheat on his partner. this guy has been through far more stressful situations and got through it, you think hes gonna cheat because hes stressed because of work?

its not sunshine and rainbows or absolute toxicity being with him. it's not really a mix of both either. ghost isn't that princess treatment, super squishy and cuddly, sweet guy who likes fluffy stuff. he definitely isn't the toxic guy who leaves you with mixed signals either.

hes quite the gentleman when it comes to approaching relationships, hes seen how his dad treated his mom, and ghost wants to do the exact opposite. i believe ghost likes to use the traditional courting methods when dating someone: gifting flowers, paying for dates, holding the door open (ladies first typa guy!!), the old fashioned stuff. idk if i should point it out again but this guy DOES NOT FW modern dating practices, he wouldn't download dating apps, or start 'talking stages'. i dont think he would write love letters just because hes not very good at writing poetry or expressing his feelings in the first place.

theres still downsides to being with him. the long distance, the time being apart (months and months). but i dont think he'd go as far as being emotionally avoidant.

also something really random ive noticed is that 2009 and reboot ghost are very different, personality wise. i like to think that 2009 ghost represents simon riley much better, but the reboot ghost actually gives the essence and character of what a 'ghost' in the military is.

more random headcanons:

simon prefers dogs over cats because dogs are loyal and stay with you until the end (stereotypically)

hates snakes and spiders

probably wouldn’t do 50/50 on dates, he pays!

avoids saying manchester slang when deployed

drinks and smokes. not always. he’s disciplined but he still does that stuff.. hes a british guy in his 30s whos kinda depressed, grew up with adults around him smoking 24/7, whatd you think😀😀 (its canon that most of tf141 smoke anyway)

listens to 80’s rock music. its canon that his mom enjoys the band siouxsie and the banshees :)), he probs does too

shaves his beard

is actually confident hes not bad looking. dude, hes 6’2, in shape with a jawline🙄

i don't enjoy hcs of ghost being the scariest out of tf141 (appearance wise yes). but soap seems much more scary imo, he was the youngest guy to pass SAS selections in the history of the UK military, and was nicknamed soap because of fast and good he is at cleaning up 'messes' (basically killing people).

id arguably say ghost is the most compassionate out of 141, if we're talking about the OG 2009 one.