#y so many DMs I don’t want right away

[gender-fluidz]

.

[teapartyprincess4two]

Full Set- M. Sturniolo

pairing: nailtech!reader x Matthew Sturniolo

classification: mostly fluff

warnings: use of y/n & slow build up just how I like it (HA)

summary: Reader is a well renowned nail tech in L.A and due to her growing popularity has become everyone’s go-to nail tech. This leads her to become a workaholic, stunting many of the areas of her life. Three regular customers work towards changing that.

—

“Girl! Do NOT tell me you took him back after that!” You exclaimed, commenting on the crazy story your client was currently telling you. You awaited her response as you diligently worked the acrylic bead on her nail bed. She laughed a little, her face turning red with embarrassment letting you know instantly that she most definitely had taken him back after that.

You scoffed slightly, shooting her a disapproving look before going back to the work at hand. “Just hear me out-“ she begins, but you quickly cut her off with the sound of the nail drill. She glared slightly at you before laughing again, realizing that this was your way of telling her you disapproved of her decision.

When you’re finally done filing and shaping her nails you continue, “I don’t want to hear any excuses, girl. I’m not working my magic to give you such a bomb ass set for you to waist it with a guy like that.”

She doesn’t skip a beat as she replies with a slight shrug, “Whatever girl, if you weren’t such a workalcoholic you’d find a man too. Life’s not all about work, work, work.” By the end of her statement she was humming Work by Rihanna and giving you a goofy smile.

In return, you offer her a sarcastic smile before replying, “I’m way too busy to be putting up with bullshit like that. I’ll gladly work my life away before I allow ANY man to disrupt my life.” She shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly, “Hmm. Whatever you say.”

The conversation was beginning to annoy you more than you realized so, before you said anything you’d later regret, you opened Spotify and pressed shuffle. You continued working on her hands as your playlist played softly in the background, contemplating whether or not you should completely mentally check out from the conversation. After mulling it over and realizing that it could cost you your tip, you decided against it, “You know what, girl? You’re so right.”

What you had said was simple, but it seemed to satisfy your client enough because she straightened her posture and held her chin high as if she’d truly won. She hummed to herself, feeling triumphant in her small ‘victory.’

“When am I ever wrong?” She asked, the entire situation inflating her ego. You threw another sarcastic smile her way and wondered if she realized you were only agreeing with her for the sake of professionalism. Before you could respond she continued, “Quick question though…” She paused for a moment, waiting for you to acknowledge her. You looked at her expectantly, bracing yourself for another round of choosing to keep quiet in case you said the wrong thing.

“Do you think we can add more glitter?”

—

After working on your tenth client, your work day was finally over. You swiftly cleaned up your work station, ensuring to prepare everything you’d need for the long list of clients awaiting you tomorrow. When you finally finished you made your way over to your room, your feet dragging on the floor. A loud sigh escaped you as you threw yourself onto your bed, rolling around until you were completely under the covers.

As draining as your career could be, you couldn’t help but over schedule and over-book yourself to make the most of your time and talent. It wasn’t until your last client walked out the door fully satisfied with their nail set that you’d allow yourself to decompress and relax. Even then, when you were tucked under your comforter, you found yourself checking your emails and dms in order to book more clients.

Today was no exception as you scrolled through your Instagram dms answering as many messages as you could, all of them inquiring about the services you provided, your hours of operation, and your next open availability. One message in particular caught your attention:

@ NicolasSturniolo: Hello! I was referred to you by a friend and was wondering when you’re free. My brothers and I would love to get a set by you.

For the most part all your clients were women, you’d never worked on a singular man before, let alone multiple. You clicked on his account, deciding to do some research before replying. As you scrolled through his account you realized that he had two brothers, making this a three in one deal. Immediately your brain lit up at the possibilities because not only would you be able to work on multiple clients during one session, but you’d also be opening your business up for any future male clients.

You quickly typed up your response, cross checking your calendar in order to ensure your dates were correct:

@ NailsByY/N: Hi! Thanks so much for reaching out! My next open availability is tomorrow, the 23rd, at 2:30pm. If that doesn’t work, I’m also available the 24th at 11am! I unfortunately won’t have any further openings until two weeks after that. Let me know what you decide!

Any message you sent from your work Instagram was always kept professional and straight to the point, especially with any potential new clients. You were about to place your phone on your nightstand and call it a night, but he replied a full three minutes later:

@ NicolasSturniolo: Yay! We’ll see you tomorrow at 2:30!

@ NailsByY/N: Awesome! I’ll go ahead and put you down for tomorrow. Feel free to bring any inspiration pictures. This is the address (click link to view), my house has a yellow door you can’t miss it. See you all tomorrow!

He didn’t reply, instead liking your message indicating he’d seen it. A smiled graced your face as you added the appointment to your calendar, feeling extremely satisfied with this business transaction before shutting your phone off, placing it on your nightstand and finally calling it a night.

—

The next morning you woke up bright and early, ready to conquer the day, completing your entire morning routine with enough time to do your makeup, get dressed, and eat breakfast. You had a total of 6 sessions to complete today all consisting of full acrylic sets or extremely detailed gel polish designs. Just the thought of getting through this work day excited you, especially because you were going to be working with new customers that you were eager to impress.

When you finished your breakfast you made your way down to your nail studio, immediately looking around the room to ensure everything was in order. After checking off everything on your mental list, you hummed in approval and opened the window to let the light in. Soon your first client arrived and your work day was in full swing.

Before you knew it, it was 2:30pm and you were entering the final stretch of the day. You cleaned up the mess from the previous set you’d just finished and waited patiently for your next clients to arrive. As you waited you sat back in your chair, stretching your legs out and popping your back in the process. A satisfied sigh leaves your body before you hear a soft knock come from the front door.

You immediately perk up at this, realizing that your final clients of the day are here. The walk from your studio to the front door is short, granting you enough time to listen in on the banter going on behind it.

“I bet it’s not even this house you dumbass!” You hear an exasperated voice yell, earning a slight chuckle from you.

“She said the door was yellow! What color do you see here, Chris?!” Another voice whisper yelled, trying their best to be quiet in case you could hear them. If you hadn’t been standing so close to the door you wouldn’t have heard it.

“This door’s not even- Oh you’re right, this door is yellow,” the first voice replied again.

“Just knock louder!” a third voiced interrupted, sounding annoyed with the entire interaction. Before anything else could be said you unlocked the door and opened it abruptly catching all three boys by surprise.

“Hello!” You greeted in a sing song voice attempting to ease any tension between the three. “Hi!” they all greeted in unison, offering you warm smiles. You returned the smile before asking, “Are you guys here for the 2:30 session?”

Of course you knew they were, but you needed some form of confirmation before inviting strangers into your home. “Yes! We booked it last night,” you recognized this boy as Nick, the boy you’d spoken to last night in regards to the appointment.

“Awesome, come in! My studios right back there,” you opened the door wider and gestured for them to walk inside, moving aside to allow room for them to enter. They piled in quickly, offering you more smiles as they looked around your house.

Your house was adorned from head to toe in all your favorite things including movie posters, cute throw pillows, various plants, and so many scented candles. As you closed and locked the door behind you, your cat ran across your living room and cut their path. “That’s my cat don’t mind her.” A nervous chuckle escaped your lips at the sight of your cat hurriedly making her way through your home.

Their eyes followed your cat as she quickly ran up the stairs and into your room. “She’s so cute. What’s her name?” One of the other two asked, averting his gaze from the direction your cat disappeared into to meet your eyes. You made a mental note to learn their names, noticing how similar they all looked. If you didn’t learn their names, you’d never be able to tell the difference between them at all. At this point the only one whose name you knew was Nick, but from the conversation you’d heard earlier you knew at least one of them was named Chris.

“Her name is Fat Mama,” you replied and laughed at how ridiculous it sounded out loud. Your cat’s name caused them to laugh as well, making you smile. “That’s quite a name she’s got there.” You realized you had just introduced your cat, but hadn’t even introduced yourself, “Oh my God, here I am introducing my cat without even telling you my own name.” They laughed at this, finding the situation equally as funny.

“I’m y/n,” you stretched a hand out for a handshake.

“Matt,” the first brother replied, taking your hand in his in a firm handshake. ‘Matt’ you noted mentally. He seemed nice and you now knew he liked cats due to your previous conversation. You two exchanged a smile before you moved onto the next brother, seeing as you knew which one was Nick you figured that this one had to be Chris.

“I’m Chris,” the second brother said, affirming your suspicions as he took your hand in an equally firm handshake, his long hair falling in front of his face slightly. Hmm, ‘Chris’ would be easy to identify seeing as he was the only one with long hair. You took another mental note of this as you offered him a smile and went on to greet the last of the three.

“And I’m Nick, but you knew that already,” the last brother said, an excited undertone laced in his voice. He seemed to be watching you as you deciphered which brother was which, taking notice at how your eyes were observing their features in an attempt to tell them apart. You smiled once again and nodded your head, taking his hand in yours for the last handshake.

“Cool! Now that we know who’s who, let’s get started! Follow me,” you turned around swiftly, motioning for them to follow you as you entered your studio. They were careful not to touch anything in the living room as they followed closely behind you in fear that they’d accidentally break something, instead they admired the aesthetic of the decor surrounding them.

As soon as they entered the room you got straight to work, working magic with your brushes as you detailed their nails. Throughout the session you took a few pictures for your Instagram, keeping your interactions as professional as possible up until the very end, but still taking the time to make conversation and get to know them. You learned that they were YouTubers who moved to L.A from Boston and made a career out of funny, engaging videos they filmed in their car. You found this pretty interesting and use it as a way to keep any attention off yourself, not wanting to get too personal too quick.

While you worked on the last set, Nick asked if he could schedule the next appointment seemingly satisfied with your work, “Girl, you ate this shit up! When is your next availability?” Chris and Matt agreed, admiring their nails from behind Nick. An accomplished smile graced your face as you adjusted his hand under the UV lamp, using your other hand to grab your phone from your pocket. Prepared to check your calendar and give him as accurate of an answer as possible you unlocked your phone before replying, “Hmm, my next availability is two weeks out.”

You scrolled through your calendar, clicking the exact date you were available, sliding the phone over to Nick. He used his free hand to look through the time stamps before picking another 2:30pm appointment and sliding the phone back to you.

—

The rest of your interactions with the triplets were similar to this until around the 4th time they booked with you. At this point, you were more comfortable around them and considered them regular customers. You now openly invited any and all conversation that allowed them to inquire about your personal life. Even Fat Mama got excited when they came around, immediately cuddling up to Matt.

“So no boyfriend?” Nick asked, watching as the brush you were holding twirled in your fingers and danced along his fingernail. You had already finished both Chris and Matt’s nails, both of them waiting in chairs behind Nick as you worked on his set. “Nope, no boyfriend,” you replied nonchalantly, your tongue poking out in concentration as you looked between the inspiration photo he showed you and his nail trying to recreate it as accurately as possible. From the interactions he’d had with you, Nick quickly realized you were a workaholic. And now that you’re admitting to not having a boyfriend, he’s beginning to suspect that you don’t do much other than work.

“What do you do for fun, then?” He hesitated to ask the question because he didn’t want to pry too much, but his curiosity got the best of him. You looked up from the nail you were working on, meeting his expectant gaze. The question caught you a bit off guard, immediately reminding you of the conversation you’d had with your client just a couple of months ago. ‘Work,’ you thought internally because working was truly fun for you. Work by Rihanna instantly played in your head as you remembered your clients words, ‘Life’s not all about work, work, work.’

You shook the thought out of your mind, breaking eye contact with Nick and averting your attention back to his nails. It would be easy to lie, they don’t know you well enough to know any better, but you decided against it, “I don’t have time for any of that, I work a lot.” You were satisfied with your answer, being proud in the fact that you were always working.

Unbeknownst to you, Matt was listening in on the entire conversation. Chris, on the other hand, had his airpods in so he couldn’t hear a thing. Not like he cared to listen anyway, he was too busy trying to pry Fat Mama from Matt. Fat Mama would just punch his hand away each time. “Oh c’mon, you have to have at least ONE free day,” Nick pushed, trying to see how far he could get before you changed the topic.

To his surprise you didn’t seem too bothered by his comment. In reality you’d heard it all before and had the perfect answer prepared. You grabbed your phone, once again opening your calendar and sliding it towards him. “Is this your way of telling me to shut up and book my next appointment?“ he laughed, looking down at your phone with a confused expression.

You ignored his question and instead posed him with a challenge, “Try and find my ONE free day.” A small smirk lifted at the corner of your mouth knowing he’d be scrolling forever until he found a free day in your schedule. Nick gladly accepted the challenge with a huff, allowing you to work on one hand as he used his free hand to scroll through your calendar. His eyes widened at the sight of your busy schedule, ready to give up. He swiped once more before jumping up with excitement. He had just found your ONE free day.

The sudden movement surprised you a bit causing you to look up at him. ‘There’s no way he actually found a day,’ you thought. He didn’t have to say it, you knew he had. You snatched the phone from him and inspected the screen, eyes widening at the sight of a day free of appointments. “What the fuck?” you whispered to yourself in disbelief as you attempted to refresh the screen in hopes that something would magically appear.

Nick’s face held a smirk, “I’d like to book that day.” You shrugged in response, clicking the date ready to pencil in a 2:30pm appointment as per usual, “fine with me.” He shook his head as a mischievous glint sparkled in his eyes, “but not with a nail appointment, a day out.”

“You’re crazy,” you laughed, not taking him seriously. You removed his hands from the UV lamp, making final touches to his nails.

“What’s so crazy about wanting to be your friend?” This time it was Matt who spoke which caught you by surprise because you never clocked that he was listening the entire time. Nick looked between you and Matt, just as surprised that he’d been listening. “There’s nothing crazy about it, I just don’t have time for that stuff.” Now that you were done with Nick’s nails, you found yourself messing with the brushes just for an excuse to escape this conversation.

“You clearly do, Nick just proved it.” Matt responded, a matter of fact tone to his voice.

Before you could respond, Chris let out a small yelp and held onto his hand, “Fat Mama just scratched me!”

—

When the triplets left your house both Nick and Matt made it clear that you didn’t have a choice on whether you got to spend your day off with them or not. The only thing Chris was worried about was whether or not Fat Mama was hiding behind a corner ready to attack him.

When the day finally arrived, you still woke up early. You did your routine as you normally did, finishing it in record time. You did your makeup, got dressed and ate breakfast quickly too. Nothing about your life was slow paced, you couldn’t even find it in you to take your time getting ready.

It seemed like the clock slowed down as you waited for 2:30 to finally roll around. By this point you had washed the dishes, cleaned the restroom, tidied up your bedroom, vacuumed the house, cleaned out Fat Mama’s litter box, and even organized your entire nail studio before 1pm. When you finished all these tasks you sat in your living room, watching the clock tick. That clock was taunting you, you were sure of it. A loud groan rang through your house, you were so bored out of your mind.

Finally at 2pm, you received a message from Nick on your personal Instagram:

@ NicolasSturniolo: We just finished putting gas, we’re on our way to yours. Be ready!

‘Be ready?!’ you thought. You’d been ready before the sun this morning! You exhaled loudly, attempting to contain yourself before replying:

@ Y/N: okay! I’ll wait for you guys outside :)

What you really wanted to say was, “I’m ready! I’ve BEEN ready!” but you’re glad you didn’t because his next text was actually really sweet.

@ NicolasSturniolo: We’re really excited! We have such a fun day planned!!

The message put a genuine smile on your face and changed your mood entirely. You made sure to like it before turning your phone off and throwing it in your purse. You gathered your things and pushed yourself off the couch, calling out a quick goodbye to your cat as you walked out the door even though she was definitely not listening and definitely didn’t care that you were leaving. When you made your way outside you sat down on the front doorstep, waiting patiently for the triplets to arrive.

Their car pulled into your drive way a few minutes later causing you to immediately spring up from your spot on your doorstep. As you made your way towards their car, you noticed Nick and Chris put their windows down and begins waving and shouting at you to hurry up.

“Hurry up! We’re going to be late for the movie at the pace you’re walking, kid,” Chris snickered, watching as you quickened your pace. “Are you excited?!” Nick asked, his face completely lighting up as you took a seat beside him in the backseat. Honestly, you were excited. This was the first time you’d been out with friends in a long time and it was definitely your first time going out with any of your clients.

“I’m VERY excited,” you replied as you buckled yourself into your seat and exaggerated your tone slightly to sound more excited than you were. Matt looked back at you from the drivers seat, beginning to back out of your drive way with his right hand against the passenger seat to gain a better look out his rear view window. For whatever reason this view of him put you in a trance and you had completely tuned Nick out.

“Y/n! Y/N!” Nick clapped his hands in front of your face, breaking you from your trance and reeling you back into reality. “Did you hear anything I just said?!”

You looked between him and Matt, who was now staring at you from the rear view mirror with a puzzled expression. You coughed awkwardly and averted your gaze, looking at Nick instead. Chris was also looking at you, his whole body shifted towards the middle console. “Um- Yeah, no. I heard nothing,” you attempted to sound casual.

“I just told you our whole schedule for the night, but since you weren’t listening I’m not repeating it,” Nick admitted, looking a little annoyed at the situation. You were annoyed too, annoyed that you had missed the whole nights itinerary and that Matt‘s attention was no longer on you. The second sentiment felt a little weird, you’d never thought about Matt like that until now.

“Everyone shut up and listen to this BANGER,” Chris exclaimed, breaking the awkward tension and pressing play on his phone. Immediately the car was flooded with trap music and you sat back in your seat allowing the night to go on.

—

The boys truly had an eventful night planned, it quickly became the most eventful day you’d ever had. First, you all went to the theater to watch the new Barbie movie. You’d actually been meaning to watch this movie, so this was a very welcomed experienced. After the movie theater, they took you to play mini golf. Chris ended up beating you all and boasted about his score all the way to your third destination, a local pizza shop.

While at the pizza shop, the four of you engaged in meaningful, heartfelt conversations as you shared childhood stories and swapped secrets causing the booth you were sat in to fill with laughter. Throughout these conversations, you and Matt kept stealing glances at each other. It was slowly driving you insane.

When you finished eating, they invited you over to their house to play video games. They hyped up the games they had, claiming that it would be so much fun. You were fully expecting to go home after the pizza shop and even more prepared to decline their kind offer. You had a full day of appointments waiting for you tomorrow, it was a better than perfect excuse, but before you could even open your mouth to protest Matt had already started speaking. “It’s going to be so much fun, y/n. You’ll love it,” his eyes were once again watching you through the rear view mirror, watching closely for your reaction. How were you going to decline their offer after that?

“Fine, okay. I’ll go,” you agreed in defeat. They all cheered in excitement as Matt began the drive to their house.

Once you finally arrived at their house, they immediately gave you a house tour. They showed you the kitchen, their podcast room, each of their rooms, and finally the living room. They quickly set up the gaming system, turning the tv on and shuffling through a multitude of games. “What game do you wanna play?” Matt asked enthusiastically, he seemed really excited to start playing.

He handed you the controller, allowing you to shuffle through the options presented on the screen, “ummm…” You seemed to shuffle through every option at least 5 times before deciding on a game. “This one?” It came out like a question mostly because you were unsure about what the game was about, you only chose it because it seemed the easiest. He had been looking at you the whole time, admiring your inquisitive look as you thought hard as to what game to choose, not realizing what game it even was.

Nick, who had been looking down at his phone the whole time, looked up to see what game you’d chosen. Your choice caused him to laugh out loud, grabbing Chris’s attention too. Chris looked at the screen and had the same reaction, “Y/n, you have to pick another game. Matt does NOT play about his Fortnite.” Chris’s comment was meant to tease and embarrass him, but Matt perked up at the mention of the game, finally breaking eye contact with you and looking up towards the tv.

Without hesitation he opened the game, waiting for it to load and scooting in closer to you on the couch. “What the fuck is Fortnite?” You asked, completely bewildered. “What the fuck is Fort- What the fuck is Fortnite? Only the best game 13 year old me ever played,” Matt replied, his response coming out so quick that it earned a laugh from the rest of you.

—

For the first couple of games you just watched them play and at first it was really interesting and you’d get excited whenever they would, but soon you were yawning slightly during the boring parts where they were looking for supplies or running through random fields. Your head fell and rested on Matt’s shoulder, your eyes feeling very heavy. You watched as his fingers frantically clicked buttons, your eyes locking onto his nails and mentally patting yourself on the back for your work.

Before you knew it, you were fast asleep. Matt noticed this and decided he was done playing, handing the controller to Chris who eagerly took ahold of it and immediately locked into the game. Nick had also dozed off, his head resting on the armrest to the left of him.

Matt slumped a little in his seat, careful not to wake or disturb you. His eyes shifted down towards you, taking in your full beauty as you rested calmly against his shoulder. He doesn’t know when it happened, but he began having feelings for you at some point. Maybe it was during your first encounter when you’d shamelessly announced the goofy name you gave your cat or when you gingerly worked on his hands, your touch igniting at his fingertips.

When he realized what he felt, he shared it with his brothers. He confided most of it with Chris, realizing that you and Nick had developed some sort of friendship that might warrant Nick to accidentally slip up and mention it to you. Matt loved your work ethic most of all, admiring the drive and passion you held for your career. But he did wish you’d make more time for yourself. Every time he looked down at his fingernails he was reminded of the countless hours you put into your craft. He loved visiting you every two weeks for a fresh set, taking a special pride in the fact that your cat only every approached him out of the three of them.

He’d never admit it, but he was internally jumping for joy when you’d accepted to hang out with them. Nick wanted to plan out the day, but Matt had beat him to it, scheduling and planning everything from the movie to mini golf course to the pizza shop. He wanted it to be perfect for you, especially after your relentless hard work day to day. Matt became lost in thoughts of you and before long he fell asleep too, his head resting aon top of yours.

“Dude, Matt, I’m about to fucking kill this guy watch,” Chris whispered as if the guy on the screen could hear him. He shot the character on the screen and jumped up excitedly because he’d just taken the winning shot. “MATT! MATT! DUDE DID YOU SEE THAT?!?” Chris exclaimed and looked over at Matt, his face dropping when he realized everyone had fallen asleep.

“Boo. Y’all are no fun,” he grumbled, readying up for another game.

—

When you woke up the next morning you immediately groaned at the pain in your neck. Before you could even acknowledge where you were, you searched around frantically for your phone to check the time. When you finally found it, the time read 12:30pm. ‘FUCK,’ you thought, the anxiety completely engulfing your body. Your first appointment today was at 11am, you scrolled through your notifications and saw 7 missed calls from your client.

You looked around, fully expecting to be at home, but when you took in your surroundings you realized you were still at the Triplet’s house. You must’ve fallen asleep while watching the boys play that stupid Fortnite game. To your left was Nick, still out cold and to your right was Matt, his head now resting on the back of the couch. You didn’t want to have to wake him up, but you didn’t have your car and without his help you’d never make it home on time for your next appointment.

“Matt! Matt!” You whisper shouted, shaking his shoulders so he’d wake up. You repeated this process a few times, each time becoming more and more aggressive. He woke up in a panic, shooting up immediately and grabbing a hold of your arms in the process. His eyes were wide open, searching your face to see what was wrong. By this point your eyes were brimmed with tears and you were completely overwhelmed.

“What? What’s wrong, baby?” The nickname slipped from his mouth effortlessly and if you weren’t so panicked you might’ve paid more attention to it. “It’s 12:30,” you replied, shoving your phone in his face so he could see the time. His face softened at this, realizing that you weren’t in any immediate danger, he sighed in relief as he responded, “you scared the shit out of me.”

“I need you to take me home. Right now,” your face was serious, tears still threatening to fall. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?” His mind immediately went to the worst possible scenario, wondering if he’d bothered you by sleeping so close to you or by resting his head on yours, or even by letting himself slip up and call you baby. “I missed an appointment…” you whispered, letting the tears finally fall.

Although he hated seeing you cry, he felt a wave of relief wash over him when he realized you weren’t upset with him. “Oh thank God,” he whispered, clutching his chest dramatically and throwing his head back against the couch again. “Why are you thanking God right now? I’ve never missed an appointment before!” You wiped your tears away.

Before he could stop himself he was admitting it all to you, “I thought you heard me call you baby just now.” Your eyes widened at this revelation, suddenly your missed appointment and the 7 missed calls didn’t matter so much, “I didn’t hear you call me baby… you called me baby?”

His face immediately burned with embarrassment as he realized what he had just done. There was no backing down now, if he didn’t admit his feelings to you now he knew he’d never gain the courage to do it later. “Yes?” His voice had an underlying inquisitive tone, he was nervous and wanted to test the waters before diving in head first.

Matt watched as your face changed completely, going from distress to pure happiness. This was enough motivation for him to finally confess his feelings for you. “Can I be really honest and vulnerable with you right now?” He asked, looking down at his nails, remembering all the reasons he has to love you.

“Yes?” You matched his tone from earlier, trying to ease his nerves. It worked, he laughed and sighed before continuing, “I think I’m in love with you.” From the direction the conversation was heading, you were expecting a confession, but nothing could’ve prepared you for Matt confessing his love for you.

“Before you say anything, just hear me out,” he breathed in deeply, once again working up the courage to speak. “I don’t know when it happened, but all I know is that I find myself wishing every two weeks that time could speed up and it could be 2:30.” Your heart was beating 1000 beats per minute and the anticipation was killing you. He had stopped looking at his nails and had now locked eyes with you.

“I love so many things about you y/n… I love the way you work hard everyday to create absolute works of art. I love that you invite people into your space so openly. I love that you take pride in your work. I love the way that your apartment is a personification of you. I love the way you poke your tongue out when you’re concentrating or even the fact that you painted your door yellow. I love that you’re so gentle, yet so precise in everything you do. I love listening to you talk and I love looking at your beautiful smile. I love that you allowed yourself to enjoy a day out with us, despite it going against your true nature. Shit, I love that you named your cat Fat Mama.” The last sentence earned a laugh from you, happy tears now rolling down your checks. You’d never been confessed to, especially not in such a sincere way.

There weren’t words that could express how you were feeling, instead you decided a kiss would suffice. The kiss was sweet, igniting a fire inside you. You felt Matt smile into the kiss, placing his hands on your face to pull you in closer.

“I think I love you too.” You admitted as you pulled away, resting your forehead against his and gazing into his eyes. You two were too lost in the moment to realize that Nick and Chris were awake and had seen and heard the whole thing.

“You two are disgusting,” Nick commented, getting up from the couch and walking to his room. “I agree, you guys are corny as fuck,” Chris chimed in, doing the same.

You both laughed, too mesmerized by each other to even care. You couldn’t believe you were about to let this boy enter your life and completely disrupt it.

—

MASTERLIST

A/n: mmmm i said i wasn’t going to write anything again, but a lot of people liked my last story sooooo I decided I’d try again. This time I wrote someothing so unbelievably long, but I really love adding little details and referring back to them. I hope y’all enjoy, if not that’s fine too. K BYEEEEE

- L.A.M.B👼🏻💗

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 37: Pieces

Mitchum sends you to where he wants you as Joel questions Cody. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-36 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence and several steps beyond that. Fairly graphic torture (not of reader.) Mention of past sexual assault, not described. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 6k

A/N: As with the last chapter, I want to state, real quick, that Bambi is NOT going to be sexually assaulted again. This is a highly triggering subject and, given the situation she's in, I understand if folks are bracing for it. That's not going to happen. The threat of it is there but it's not going to happen.

We are into the final arc of Yearling and we are going to see some TLOU 2 OVERLAP again. There isn't any this chapter but there will be in this arc and here's how: a character from that game will be mentioned as will the spoiler-y incident from a few chapters ago. What happens plot wise in this arc is completely separate from the game and entirely original content BUT there is that character overlap and more specific mentions of the incident and the motives behind it. This character returns THIS CHAPTER. If you're trying to go in blind to season 2, it might be wise to step back. Feel free to send me a DM, I'm happy to answer any and all questions!

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

They were talking about you like you weren’t there. 

You’d been used to that once but it had been a long time since you’d been just a thing, separate from that life about as long as you’d suffered it. You had forgotten just how much you hated this part of being a prisoner. You’d internalized so many of the more acute horrors that the smaller things had slipped away, but the change from human being to livestock was sharp. You didn’t have much in you to fight against anything - still barely able to stand - but it seemed what little there was faded quickly just listening to the men talk about you as though you were some unruly animal. 

“Take her back to the main camp,” Mitchum said, taking your arm and turning you around so he could look you over. “She’s good on a horse, don’t let her near the reins. Don’t be stupid enough to think this one won’t take off just because she’s down some fingers, she’s a feral thing. That fucking moron… Get her there and don’t fuck her, understand? She’s mine and I gotta make sure she’s broken in right. Been wild too long, gonna have to start from scratch.” 

He took your chin in his hand, forcing your eyes to meet his own. 

“Gonna bring you back where you belong,” he said. “I tamed you once, I can do it again.” 

You didn’t say anything, all your energy going in to keeping yourself standing. You tried to think about something, anything, beyond how close Mitchum was to you again, every alarm bell your body had ringing. Where his fingers were on you burned and your heart raced, the blood loss and fear making your head spin.

The only thing that could be worse than being this close to him again was Savvy and Ellie being this close to him. The thought that you’d saved them from this was a small comfort. You hoped they made it back. You had to believe they made it. You weren’t sure you’d have the strength to keep going otherwise. They made it, they made it back to Jackson, they were safe there. 

But the men were talking about Jackson, too. Like it was something they could take. What’s worse, they sounded confident that they could do it. It was something that had seemed impossible when you were within the walls, everything so strong and permanent. How could the will of men destroy something like that? But now that you were here, back in the grip of what terrified you, it didn’t seem so impossible anymore. Jackson was just people, too. Good people, strong people who had decided to survive and work and love alongside each other but people all the same. It doesn’t take some act of God to destroy a person, just one other, determined person can do the job. 

You couldn’t handle considering that, not when the only things in the world that mattered were dependent on Jackson to be safe. You had to believe that Jackson could withstand whatever came its way, that Ellie and Savvy had made it back, that they would be safe within its walls and would never have to face men like Mitchum and Cody again. They made it, they made it back to Jackson and they were safe. The whole city was.

You thought it over and over again in your head, a mantra of sorts, as they brought you to a horse and forced you on its back. You were too out of it to grab the reins immediately, a man mounting up in front of you before you could think twice about taking control of the animal. 

“Better not try anything back there if you know what’s good for you,” the man snapped before making the horse move. You just tried to stay upright and tried to think of ways to escape once you were strong enough to run. You had to resist the urge to try now, every nerve in your body on fire and driving you to run or fight. But you couldn’t. You’d never survive a fight right now and you’d only be able to walk a mile - maybe two - before you’d collapse and then they’d have you again. You needed to save your strength or you’d never get out. 

You tried to remind yourself that you’d done all this before. You’d survived what they did to you and made it out. You’d lived and built a life and found your daughter and protected what mattered. You’d done it once, you could do it again. You just had to survive. 

You focused on the people that you wanted to survive for - Savvy and Ellie and Joel and Maria and Tommy and William and Julie and and and - and tried to settle into the sway of the horse as it walked.

Time was strange like this, pulling and warping. It seemed like it was dark longer than it should have been when the sun started to rise and then, when the men stopped for a break, the sun seemed higher than it should have been. You drank water when it was offered. You watched for a chance to steal a horse - the only way you thought you’d be able to make it far in that moment - but didn’t get one. 

The light hadn’t yet taken on the soft, hazy quality of evening when you reached where you were headed. It was an unfamiliar place, a small subdivision - maybe two dozen houses total - with mountains at its back. There was a guarded perimeter, men in cowboy hats who gave the men you were with a nod as they rode in. 

They brought you to the center of the neighborhood, to a house that was small but looked to be in good repair, two men stationed outside. 

“Down,” the man you were riding with ordered. You obeyed, sliding off the horse and stumbling, head spinning. He dismounted more smoothly before grabbing you by the collar of your shirt - Joel’s shirt - and hauled you for the door, one of the guards meeting him there. He took a padlock off the front door before opening it and shoving you inside, past a small living room with a sunken sofa and a kitchen with counters covered in a thick layer of dust. He forced you down a hall to a bedroom. You were almost positive it had been a little girl’s room once but it had been stripped of all forms of childish comfort. There were two twin sized mattresses on the floor, tucked into corners on opposite pink walls. There had been carpet once, you were sure, but it had been pulled up, just the plywood below remaining. There was a bucket at the foot of each bed and some drywall had been pulled away near each bed, exposing the frame of the walls, chains wrapped around a stud near either bed. 

“On the bed,” the man ordered, shoving you toward it and making you stumble. You more fell onto the mattress than sat on it but it didn’t seem to make a difference. He approached you and you went to kick him, not about to let him just take what he wanted without a fight, but he caught your boot, giving you a sharp shake when he did. “Just making sure you don’t run. Sit still or this will hurt a lot more than it needs to.” 

He pulled your boot off before you had a chance to respond and tossed it near the door before picking up the chain. It was thick and heavy, no cuff on the end. He wrapped it around your ankle, tight enough that it cut into your flesh a little, and put a padlock through the loops to hold it in place. He gave it a testing pull and it didn’t budge. He nodded. 

“Recommend you rest while you can,” he said, dropping your leg. “Mitchum’s back in a day or two, don’t imagine you’ll have much while he’s here.” 

He turned to leave and you looked to the other mattress. There was a smear of blood near the chain that was still bright red, like it hadn’t dried yet. There was someone else who had been here, someone recently. The door closed and locked and you stretched out on the bed, trying to force your body and mind to still enough that you could rest. 

It didn’t work very well. You faded in and out of consciousness for a while - you weren’t entirely sure how long but you were fairly certain night had fallen. The window in the room was covered with yellowed newspaper but you were pretty sure you’d seen light coming through it earlier in the day. It was dark now. 

It took you a moment to realize what had pulled you back to consciousness. There was a scuffle outside your door, the sound of someone being wrestled inside. You shot up, scrambling to find something you might be able to use as a weapon but came up empty, the room stripped of anything that could be a tool and your mind still working slowly. You were still down a lot of blood. 

The door opened and you braced yourself to claw and bite but the man there paid you no mind. Instead, he shoved a tall, broad young woman in, one with a blonde fishtail braid that hung down her back. Something inside you twinged at the sight of her, a distant alarm bell ringing. She was familiar, you couldn’t see her face but you knew her. You could feel it.

The man forced her onto the opposite mattress and all but threw the chain around her ankle before locking it into place. 

“If you’re fuckin’ smart, you’ll behave yourself,” the man backed away from her, panting for breath with a cut on his cheek. “If you weren’t one of Mitchum’s favorite toys, I’d kill you myself.” 

“Fuck you,” she spat, lifting her head from the mattress, her teeth bared in a snarl. Your breath caught, the fingers from your intact hand groping for the chain attached to your ankle, your best hope for a weapon. 

You did know this woman - almost more of a girl in spite of her size and strength, she couldn’t be much older than Ellie and definitely young enough to be your daughter. You didn’t know her name or where she was from or why she had tried to murder your husband but you knew her, knew how she looked when she was filled with rage and desperate to kill a man. Knew how she looked as she beat Joel until he was bloody and half dead. Your grip on the chain tightened. 

The man left and you weren’t sure if the two of them had said anything else, the high pitched whine that had taken over your ears only just beginning to fade. 

She seemed to notice you then, straining to sit up, her eyes wide at first but narrowing when she reached your face. 

She recognized you, too. 

“You,” she was still panting for breath, leaning against the wall at her back, sneering at you. Watching you. “I should have known they’d find some other fucking way to torture me.” 

You watched her back, ready to defend yourself in case she made a move. 

“I could have said the same thing about you.” 

***

Joel wasn’t aware of much. 

There were gunshots but they were of little consequence. The screams didn’t register, either. Neither did the sweat on his neck or the pain in his back or the pull in his leg that had been there ever since he was shot by the girl who wanted him dead. 

He could feel your blood on his hands, though, and the feel of your fingers in his pocket and hear the thud of his heart and he could see. He could see Cody on his horse but he could see how you’d been afraid of him, too. That day in the stable when Joel held you and you were so scared you could barely stay standing. He could see how it would have happened, how this man would have cut away pieces of you. How scared you would have been, how you would have fought anyway, how you would have screamed. 

All Joel really knew in that moment was that he needed to hurt this man. He needed to take every ounce of pain from his body until there was nothing else left inside of him and he needed him to know, as he died, that he was dying for you. 

Cody tried to dodge Joel as he threw himself at him, the horse stutter stepping away as Cody tried to pull it back while also grabbing his gun. But he wasn’t fast enough, Joel’s hands closing around the edges of the man’s jacket as he yanked him to the ground, Cody’s gun flying into the trees. 

But Cody was not a small man and his thrashing weight threw Joel off balance, the two of them sprawling to the forest floor. Cody was younger and more agile and got to his feet first, pulling his knife free from his belt, lunging for Joel. But Joel was ready for him, kicking him in the gut so hard that it knocked the wind out of him and sent him stumbling back. He got to his feet, too, Cody leaning against a tree, knife out as he caught his breath. 

“You’re not gonna get her back,” he panted, a sneer on his face as he watched Joel. “She’s with him now and he’s not gonna let her go so easy this time. And when he’s done with her, don’t think you’ll even want her back.” 

There was commotion at Joel’s back but it barely registered. 

“I should have fucking killed you when I had the chance,” Joel said, watching him closely. “She was too good to you. She’s always been better than anyone left fuckin’ deserved, least of all you.” 

“And she should’ve known what I gave her when I let her go,” he said, standing up a little straighter now, breath caught. “Instead of being an ungrateful cunt.” 

Joel roared and threw himself at Cody, the other man striking out at him with his knife. He nicked Joel’s shoulder with the blade but he barely noticed it, the blow not really hurting so much as being filed away as information, things he would need to contend with at some point when Cody’s blood was cold on the ground. 

Joel threw a punch, catching Cody on the jaw and he stumbled for a moment before lunging at Joel, striking out with the knife again but falling short and following up with a clumsy fist after. Joel caught his hand and twisted it, the other man giving a sharp yelp. Joel liked the sound, the evidence of his pain soothing the gnawing desperation inside him. 

But his satisfaction was short lived, the knife slamming into Joel’s shoulder making him seize up for a moment. He was aware that it should hurt, that there was metal inside him now that didn’t belong, but all it did was bring everything into sharper focus. This knife was probably the one that had drawn your blood, too. It seemed right that he should suffer it with you after he’d failed at doing what he’d vowed to do. 

The split second of the shock of the stab passed quickly and Joel drove Cody back into the tree, slamming his back into the trunk of it and knocking the air out of him, his head hitting the bark with a sickening thud. Joel didn’t relent. Instead, he punched him across the face, one arm holding the man in place as he hit him again and again. 

This satisfaction held longer. Cody’s fingers scramble and clawed at Joel, trying to find purchase somewhere they could pull him away from his singular mission but that was impossible. Joel’s physical body didn’t matter to him anymore, not without you, and every small hurt was swallowed by the drive to destroy. 

“Joel!” Tommy’s arm looped around Joel’s neck, pulling him back from Cody who slipped down the tree trunk, his hands limp on the blood coated leaves, his chest still rising and falling, eyes blinking as he stared into space. Joel strained to pull away from Tommy’s grip but his brother held him firm as he panted for breath. “Joel, you can’t kill him yet, we need information. We kept one of the others alive but we need information or we’ll never find her. He’s alive, we need him to stay a live a little longer.” 

Joel slumped forward in Tommy’s grip and his hold on him loosened, starting to feel his body again. His knuckles hurt and were slick with blood. Joel wasn’t sure how much was Cody’s and how much was his own. There was a sharp, stabbing pain in his shoulder and he reached back with his other arm, flinching as he did, before taking hold of the knife and pulling the blade free. He heard Tommy wince as he did and Joel brought the weapon around in front of him, holding it up for a moment. His blood was slick over half the blade, the edge serrated. 

“You cut off my wife’s fingers with this?” Joel panted, squatting down to be on Cody’s level, holding the knife up. His own voice sounded odd to him, so normal when everything was so wrong. 

“Wait, what?” Ellie stalked over to him and Joel glanced up at her. There was a cut on her cheek and her eyes were wide. Joel turned back to Cody and reached into his pocket, gently pulling your fingers free before setting them on Cody’s stomach. “Motherfucker!” 

Joel barely registered the sound of Tommy wrestling Ellie away, too focused on the man in front of him to worry about anything else. 

“Did you cut off my wife’s fingers with this?” Joel said again, voice flat. 

Cody struggled to swallow and Joel took hold of his jaw, yanking his head around so he was looking right at him. 

“Answer the question.” 

Cody blinked a few times before taking a shaky breath. 

“Yes.” 

There was a rattle in his voice and blood on his teeth. 

“Good.” 

Joel took the knife and thrust it into his thigh, just over his knee. Cody screamed and squirmed uselessly under him and Joel waited, keeping constant pressure down on the blade, giving him no relief. 

As he quieted - gasping for breath, eyes wide and bloodshot - Joel pulled the knife from his leg and wiped the blood on his jeans. 

“Gonna hurt you like you hurt her,” he said, picking up Cody’s hand from the ground. He started trying to pull it away, heavy breaths shifting to hyperventilation, but Joel held firm, forcing the hand down to the man’s thigh. “What, you afraid of me usin’ your knife the way you do? That it? Can’t be that bad, can it?” 

“No,” he panted. “No, please, I’ll give you whatever you want, I’ll…” 

Joel lined the blade up with the smallest knuckle on Cody’s pinky and cut through it in one devastating push, the man screaming and writhing and trying to pull his hand into his chest to comfort himself but Joel didn’t let him. 

“You’ll give me what I want?” Joel asked, putting the knife at the next joint down. “But what if what I want is my wife? What if what I want is your pain, hm? You give me that?” 

He cut again, the blade meeting more resistance this time. Joel pushed through it, the knife cutting through the denim of his jeans on the other side of his hand as he screamed again. Cody closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the tree and Joel resisted the urge to beat his face in. He had to leave him alive for a little while longer. 

And besides, he couldn’t take more pain from him if he was dead. 

“No, you don’t get to fuckin’ pass out on me,” Joel stabbed the knife through his hand, pinning it to his thigh before grabbing his hair by the fistful, bringing his head forward so it was only inches from Joel’s own. He could smell the blood on his skin, clearly see the trails of salt on his cheeks. “You get to be awake for this. Doubt you ever let her pass out, did you? Not about to do you any favors. Now, you focus on me, understand?” 

Cody managed a nod. Joel dragged the blade through is palm, between the webbing of his fingers, cutting a path through the delicate bones of his hand and the thick muscle of his thigh as Cody begged and screamed. The wound at Joel’s shoulder ached. He couldn’t bring himself to care about either thing. 

He held Cody’s hand in place again and gave him a second to quiet and catch his breath before lining the knife up at the base of his pinky. 

“Please,” he panted, eyes so desperate as they met Joel’s. “Please, I can’t…” 

“Can’t what?” Joel asked, brows raised. “Can’t survive what you did to her?” 

Joel cut, separating the bloody remains of the finger from Cody’s hand and casting it aside. Cody’s screams were growing hoarse and Joel ground his teeth. He still needed answers from him and he needed to be able to talk for that. 

He pulled the knife away, holding it firmly and watching as the other man caught his breath. 

“I can make this easier,” Joel said after a moment. “You tell me where she is? I kill you. Quick. Maybe not painless but not as bad as this. You’re not leavin’ here alive. Should have killed you in Jackson months ago. Hell, should have fucking found you years ago and killed you then but I didn’t. Not about to let you go again. But it’s up to you if how I kill you is for you or for me, if it’s fast or if it’s slow.”

“I…” the wet rattle of Cody’s breath was sharper now. “I can’t… I can’t trust you to do it quick…” 

“Yes you can,” Joel said. “You tell me where my wife is? I’m gonna go get her. Not gonna want to waste more time here with you. It’ll be quick if you just tell me.” 

Cody’s eyes searched Joel’s for a moment, like he would find some kind of answer in them. Joel didn’t need to see his reflection to know that the only thing Cody would find in his gaze was the hollow, desperate pain of your loss. There wasn’t anything else left in him to see. 

“I traded her,” he said. “To Mitchum. Met… met him about 10 miles north east of here but he won’t still be there. I don’t think he’d keep her with him - he never did before, always… always had her at his base…” 

“And where’s that,” Joel asked when he trailed off. Cody’s neck went limp and Joel grabbed his chin again, giving him a sharp shake and forcing his eyes to spring open. “Stay with me, focus right here. Where is Mitchum’s base? Where would he take her?” 

“Little spot,” he panted. “Just… a bunch of houses, don’t know if it’s got a name…” 

“Tommy!” Joel called without even glancing back at him. “Need a map.” 

It took a few seconds before Tommy appeared, handing Joel a wrinkled and worn map. 

“Point to where it is on this map,” Joel said, releasing his bloody, four fingered hand. “Your buddy over there know where it is?” Cody nodded, shaky, once. “Good. You point where it is. He’d better point to the same goddamn spot.”

He handed the map back to Tommy and kept Cody in his sights, watching as his skin grew pale and his head listless and limp. There was a scuffle and scream behind him, loud enough that Cody shocked back to full consciousness with it. 

“Sounds like your friend don’t know what’s good for him,” Joel said, taking Cody’s bloodied hand and forcing it to his thigh again. “Or what’s good for you.” 

“No,” he shook his head, his eyes so wide. “No, please!” 

“Tell him to cooperate,” Joel said. 

“Do what he says!” Cody screamed. “Just do it, please!” 

Joel pressed the knife to the base of his ring finger and cut. He was almost surprised at how easy it was to force the blade through the bone and sinew. He could barely feel the strain of it as Cody screamed below him. The knife sank a bit into his leg as it cut through the last of the skin and Joel picked the finger up, holding it in front of Cody’s crying eyes. 

“She scream like you?” Joel asked, turning the piece of his captive slowly before them both, the wet of his blood catching the light like the fractures in the glass of his watch. “You like hearin’ it like I like hearin’ you?” 

“Please,” Cody managed, voice ragged and hoarse.

“Why’d you do it?” He asked, lowering the severed finger but keeping it firmly in his grip. “You already took her, already were handing her over to that… animal. Why’d you need to hurt her, too.” 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Joel thrust the knife into his upper thigh, inches shy of the man’s crotch and he gasped, mouth open in a silent scream. He was wearing out, inching closer and closer to death. 

“Don’t give a shit about your sorry,” Joel said. “Why. Tell me.” 

He gave Cody a second to start to recover from the pain before twisting the knife, making him seize again. 

“Tell me.” 

“She tried to run!” He sobbed, collapsing back down again. “She… she tried to run, killed two of my men. And she never… never appreciated what I did for her then…” 

Joel just nodded slowly. You’d been able to try to run, at least before Cody took your fingers. You weren’t so scared that you couldn’t move, weren’t so beaten that you couldn’t run. That was a good sign. You were a survivor. He had to remember that. You’d survived before. You would now, too. You would still be alive for him to find, for him to save, and he would save you. If it was the last thing he did, he would save you.

“Joel,” Tommy was at his side and it was quiet at his back. “Same spot.” 

“Good,” Joel said. He carefully picked your fingers up from where they’d fallen in the leaves at Cody’s side and tucked them away in his pocket again before getting to his feet. Ellie was at his side, her rifle in her hands. 

“I want to hurt him,” she said, her voice flat. 

Joel looked at her, really looked at her for the first time since they’d found Cody. There was a darkness in her eyes that terrified him in its familiarity. It was the look she’d had for a split second when he’d found her after David had taken her from him. It was sharp and vicious and demanding and Joel wasn’t sure she knew how to come back from it. 

“Will hurtin’ him help you?” Joel asked as gently as he could. She looked up at him, that sharp look still in her eyes. 

“He hurt my mother,” she said, a hint of barely contained rage on her face. “I need to make him pay.” 

He considered her for a second, trying to think clearly as he looked at the young woman who had once been the girl he’d shepherded across the country. In so many ways, she was still that little girl, one who he’d protected and failed at protecting, one who he had saved and had led to her near demise.

Would this be any worse than anything she had already suffered? Would it hurt her any worse than the things that Joel had allowed on his watch before, when he hadn’t been good enough to take care of her the way she deserved? Would it be, somehow, any more terrible because he allowed it? 

Ellie was so like him in so many ways, ways that terrified him when he thought about it. There was a passion in her that so easily bloomed into rage and he knew what it was to keep that stifled and smothered. He knew, too, what it was to take it out on another human being, even one who deserved it. 

He adjusted his grip on the knife and held the handle out to her. She went to take it but he pulled it back for a moment. 

“Can’t kill him,” Joel said. “Understand?” 

“Joel…” Tommy said at his back, but Joel just held out his empty hand, silencing him. 

“Understand?” He repeated, watching Ellie closely. 

She hesitated a moment, watching him back with those sharp, dark eyes. 

“I understand,” she said, taking the knife from him and turning to Cody. She cocked her head, examining him cooly. 

“Please,” the man whispered, looking up at her. 

“Which fingers did he take?” Ellie asked, not looking back at Joel. 

“Outside two,” Joel said, a twinge in his chest as he said it. “Her wedding ring with ‘em.” 

Ellie nodded, her grip tightening on the knife before lowering her knee to pin Cody’s wrist of his intact hand to the ground. 

“I told you I was gonna fucking kill you,” she said, her voice dangerous as the man tried weakly to pull his arm away from her. “My dad told me not to do that. But I am going to make you fucking pay.” 

She slammed the knife into his hand with a sharp, angry cry, more hacking at him than cutting, striking him again and again until she was splattered with blood and Cody had screamed himself to silence. Joel’s stomach twisted at the sight of it, the satisfaction at knowing Cody’s agony twinged with an ache of his own at the sound of Ellie’s pained scream. 

“If you’re just gonna let her fuckin’…” Tommy snapped, nudging Joel roughly to the side and stepping around him to wrap his arms around Ellie from behind, forcing her to still. She quieted then, no longer screaming and just sobbing instead. “It’s OK baby girl. C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up…” 

“No!” She tried to shake him loose but he held firm. “I want him to hurt! I want to make him hurt, I want him fucking dead, he doesn’t deserve it, he doesn’t deserve to live, he doesn’t…” 

“I know,” Tommy said gently. “I know. But you hear him? He’s passed out, you’re not gonna make him regret this any more than he already does and Joel’s gonna finish him. He’s not gonna live, OK? He’s paid for it, he’s hurt for it, it’s OK baby girl.” 

The knife slipped from her hold then, lying beside the mangled flesh and bone that had once been Cody’s hand. His pinky and ring fingers were completely gone. 

“C’mon,” Tommy said again. “Gonna get you cleaned up, let Joel finish the job, then we’ll get movin’. You’re OK.” 

He pulled her gently to her feet and gave Joel a deadly look as he passed, Ellie gathered against his side as he led her away. 

Joel knelt and picked up the knife, every inch of it splattered in blood now. He didn’t care. He took Cody’s chin in his hand and gave his head a sharp shake and the man gave a sharp gasp before trying to cough but choked on his own blood instead, his eyes opening slowly. He couldn’t even lift his head now, his eyes the only thing it seemed he could really move. 

“Wanted you to be awake for this,” Joel said, his voice a deadly calm. “Wanted to make sure you felt it. Wanted to be sure you knew why you were dying.”

Joel thrust the knife into Cody’s side, burying it fully between two ribs and twisting it there. His eyes went wide and his body thrashed as much as it could but it was a useless endeavor. He started gasping for breath, the gurgling sound of him starting to drown in his own blood overwhelming the sound of the woods around them as Joel pulled the knife from his side. 

“You could have lived, you know,” Joel continued. “Could have spent the rest of your years anywhere but Jackson, never would have looked for you. She asked me not to look for you, to just leave you alive. Felt like she owed you somethin’. Maybe she thought you’d been a good man once, long time ago. But you and me, we know the truth. You were never a good man, never had it in you to be good. You didn’t deserve her mercy so you ain’t gettin’ mine.”

“You…” he gasped and choked. “Promised…” 

“Promised what?” He asked. “To make it quick for you?” 

He didn’t give Cody a chance to respond. Joel just shrugged. 

“I lied.” 

He thrust the knife in between the same ribs on the other side, twisting it and pulling it free before wiping the worst of the blood on Cody’s pants and getting back to his feet. He put his hand in his pocket, the one that held the pieces of you. He traced your wedding band with his thumb, feeling your cold skin below his touch. How many times had this flesh laced with his? How many times had it tangled in his hair or squeezed his arm or touched his cheek? 

He held it himself now, trying to keep the pieces of you warm as Cody drowned in his own blood. His dying breaths were harsh and rasping and desperate, the last gasp of his mortality clinging to this life as though there was anything but pain to be found for him here. As if there was anything he deserved beyond pain. Just before the light left his eyes, Joel picked Cody’s fingers up off the ground and opened his mouth, forcing them inside. He stood back again, watching as he tried to take two quick, shallow breaths around them before going completely still. 

“Joel,” Tommy said from behind him. 

Joel looked down at Cody’s body for a moment longer. This man had hurt you, raped you, taken you. He was dead now, at Joel’s hand. There was justice in that. He spit on his body all the same. 

He turned to find his brother and daughter standing side by side, Ellie’s eyes still sharp but rimmed in red, her cheeks puffy. Both of them were wet, Ellie no longer splattered in blood. 

“We should move,” Joel said, stalking toward Cody’s horse. Tommy just watched him as Joel mounted up, the horse pawing at the ground for a moment as he got settled. He looked back at his brother. “If you ain’t got the stomach, Tommy, I’ll do this myself…” 

“I’m comin’,” Tommy said, going to another horse and mounting up, too. “Just hope you don’t get lost in the process.” 

Joel didn’t say anything. What was there to say? That the man he had the potential to be had left when you did? That, without you, there was nothing left to lose? 

He didn’t need to say it. Somehow, he was sure, Tommy knew. 

Instead, he nudged his horse forward, starting on the path given to him by the man he’d left in pieces on the ground. 

Next Chapter

A/N: So Joel is pretttttttty damn feral at this point. I'm not sure I've ever written a Joel quite this unhinged and that's not even accounting for the fact that the juxtaposition between Jackson Joel and Feral Joel is pretty harsh. He's just gone, at least for now.

There are just three chapters left of this fic now (I think, the way some of this chapter flowed means it may grow to 41 chapters but I don't think so)! Next chapter is going to be a big one, one that's been building for the whole of this fic and I'm so excited for it. I hope you are, too!

Thanks for being here through this INSANELY lengthy journey both in word/chapter count and in time. It feels like we've been with Joel and Bambi forever and that's because we kind of have been - almost a year now! I hope you've enjoyed the ride. I know I have.

Love you!

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust @ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost @beccerjune @mumma-moonchild @netonetoneto @mellymbee @purplelye @n7cje @flugazi @evyiione @randomhoex @aliengirl99 @orcasoul @reds-ramblings @pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel @jenispunk @panda-pascal @sarap-77 @flugazi @your-slutty-gf @daniegraceg @partyofone3413 @cumberpegg @noisynightmarepoetry. @fifia-writes @grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123 @ashleyfilm @arizonadreamingg

[gingiesworld]

9 Years Ago Today

Natasha Romanoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst, Death (Suicide), Unhappy Ending

18+ MINORS DNI

Word Count: 1876

Taglist : @mothertoall2 @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @ladyqueenxoxo @aemilia19 @wandaromamoff69 @mfd-101 @dorabledewdroop @marvelogic @dopeyouth @karsonromanoff @bimad (if you want to be added to my taglist, please DM me or comment)

There was a time where everything seemed okay, maybe better than okay, Y/N had a great group of friends even if one of them happened to be their ex. Although the two ended badly, constantly arguing about the minor things, they both managed to be amicable when they were amongst their friends. Y/N always kept stealing glances of her from across the room, always noting just how happy she seemed, how she seemed to forget that they ever even dated. Well there were times where Natasha would forget that they even existed, making their friends feel awkward. So they soon stopped hanging out with them as often as they used to, everyone else noticing their lack of appearance at their get togethers.

“You can’t keep hiding out here.” Steve stated in disgust, looking at all the dirty takeout containers before he grabbed an empty garbage bag. “I know it still hurts.”

“No, you really don’t.” They chuckled dryly as they took a sip from the half empty bottle of whiskey.

“I know you love her.” He said as he sat beside them on the sofa. “I see how you still steal glances at her, I can see it in your eyes, even the hurt when she barely acknowledges your existence.”

“I’m fine.” They told him as he shook his head. “I swear to fucking god Steve, if you even attempt to say that I’m not, I’m gonna finish this bottle and smash it over your head.” He sighed and stood up, finishing helping them with cleaning their apartment in silence.

“Just please don’t do anything stupid.” He spoke softly as Y/N shrugged.

“We never had a choice about being brought into this world, but we can have a choice on how we leave this life behind.” They told him. Steve stopped in his tracks as he turned to face them.

“Don’t.” He seethed as Y/N just returned to the bottle. “I refuse to lose one of my best friends.”

“But I’m not one of them.” They told him as they stood up and went to their bedroom, locking the door behind them, leaving Steve to finish what he had started. Even as the weeks turned into months, everyone seemed to miss Y/N at their gatherings, missing how they used to be playful and energetic before the break up.

“We should try and talk to them again.” Wanda spoke up, breaking everyone away from their previous conversation. “I’m worried about them.”

���Me too.” Steve whispered as the others agreed, Nat remaining quiet as she silently agreed with them. She soon decided that she would get up to leave, making everyone divert their attention to her. “Where are you going?” He questioned as she picked up her bag, making sure she had everything she needed.

“To see them.” She answered before she left the house, heading straight towards the all too familiar building she spent many nights in. Heading straight up to their floor, banging on their door, waiting for a moment before they answered the door, they were in their uniform with their bag ready. “Where are you going?” She questioned as she walked past them inside the apartment. “I thought you were on leave for a year? Especially after your injury.”

“Well I have been cleared for combat and called forward.” They answered her flatly.

“Have you really been cleared or have you paid a dodgy doctor to say that?” She questioned with her eyebrow raised.

“Why can’t you actually see that I am fine!” They yelled at her, their eyes burning into her own green orbs.

“With what I have heard says otherwise.” She remarked, making them scoff.

“I’m sorry I was going through a rough time.” They spoke sarcastically. “That’s just it with you, I can never do a single thing right for you! You’ve always brought me down whether it's about who I am or it’s my career choice.”

“I have never done that!” She defended herself, watching as Y/N shook their head.

“Look, I would love to continue our argument, for old times sake but I have to go soon.” They told her as they tried to usher her out of the apartment.

“I don’t want to argue.” She told them.

“That’s good, it will make leaving here much easier.” They told her sarcastically.

“This is always just like you.” She seethed. “You always run away from the problem, you never want to face it like.” She stopped herself before continuing, watching as all emotion drained from Y/N’s face.

“Go on.” They prompted. “Say it. Say I’m a coward.” They watched as she shook her head no. “You’ve already said it plenty of times before so why is now any different?”

“I don’t think that.” She told them as they laughed at her words.

“So let me guess, all those times you called me a coward was for kicks, just a little light bullying.” They queried as she squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for them to say what was on their mind. “I know you think that I’m a failure, that I always destroy whatever I touch or that I’m a coward. I know that you claim that you used to love me when in reality you never loved me, not as much as you made me believe.”

“Please can we just sort this out? Like adults.” She asked them quietly, watching as they shook their head.

“I’m done with talking to you.” They told her, throwing her their keys as they picked up their bag. “Have a nice life Natasha. I hope you get what you want in life.” They told her before leaving their apartment, Natasha remained glued to her spot as the door closed. Y/N got in the taxi and gave them their parents address, knowing that no one has used their house, not since they passed away. Y/N never had the heart to sell it nor did they feel comfortable living their themselves, not without their parents.

Once they were there, they headed straight up to their childhood room, sitting on their bed before they let the tears fall, completely breaking down before they let their anger get the better of them. Picking up ornaments and picture frames, throwing anything and everything they could before falling to their knees, clutching their chest before they fell back and leaned against the bed, putting their head in their hands as they let all of their emotions that they have drowned with alcohol out.

“They said they were called up.” Natasha informed the others, but that was when Bucky spoke up.

“They were dismissed last year.” He told them. “After the incident happened on their last tour they were medically discharged.”

“Why didn’t they say anything?” Nat asked him.

“They were embarrassed.” He told her. “They already felt like a failure and a disappointment, and you never really helped them either.”

“They wouldn’t talk to me.” She tried as Bucky shook his head.

“I saw how you was when you were together.” He told her. “You never really cared about them, just what they could do for you and when that changed you just discarded them like they were nothing.”

“Why did they tell you?” Steve asked as Bucky shrugged.

“Because I have been there myself.” He told him. “I’m the only one who really understands how they felt.”

“Do you think they would try and do something?” Nat questioned as she looked between the couple.

“Well, they have tried once before but their mom found them.” Bucky answered her. “She managed to get them to the hospital in time to get their stomach pumped.”

“Do you think they would try again?” She pressed on, watching as Bucky thought hard.

“It’s possible.” He told her. “None of us know what they witnessed on their last tour, and they already felt as though they weren’t enough their whole life thanks to their father.”

“Should we do something?” Natasha questioned as Steve was already on his phone, dialing their number. Y/N watched as the phone kept ringing as they held the pistol in their hand, their breathing the calmest it has been in a very long time. They waited until he tried to call them for the fifth time.

“Steve.” They said calmly as they answered the call.

“Please tell me you aren’t doing something stupid?” He pleaded as Y/N sighed. “Or can you please tell me where you are so I can come to you.”

“Do you know that it was nine years ago.” They started calmly. “Nine years ago I tried to make the right choice, I was failing college, I was a disappointment to my parents. My father barely ever talked to me, he was that disgusted by me.” Everyone listened as Steve had the call on loudspeaker. “But when I woke up after, did you know what he said to me? Maybe you can get it right next time. Who the hell says that to their own child huh? So that’s why I joined the military, I wanted a way to make my meaningless life mean something but I couldn’t even do that right either.”

“Please just tell me where you are?” He pressed again.

“We never had a choice about being brought into this world, but we can have a choice on how we leave this life behind.” They repeated their words from weeks ago. “I never liked this room, you know.” They wold them. “I always hated it. I tried so many times to escape it but I always seem to come back here. Maybe this is where it’s supposed to happen.”

“Please let us help you.” Bucky pleaded as the two followed Bucky to the car, knowing that he knew exactly where they are.

“It’s too late for me.” They whispered. “I can’t keep living like this, hell it's not really living, not with the constant thoughts and demons I have in my mind and I’m tired. I just want it to be over.”

“No!” Nat yelled from the back seat as Bucky drove as fast as he could. “Please don’t.”

“I’ve made up my mind.” They told them as they cocked the pistol, moving it to aim at their head. “I’m just being the coward you think I am. At least I won’t be there to ruin anything for you anymore.” Nat was shaking her head as Bucky turned down a road in their old high school district. “Just know that I tried, I really did but I can’t keep on going like this, the nightmares, the failures, everything is just, I feel like I’m drowning.” They spoke shakily. “I hope you guys understand.” Before anyone could answer, they hung up just as they pulled up in their old street, soon flinching as they heard a deafening gunshot, knowing exactly what they’re going to witness as soon as they walked inside Y/N’s childhood home. Their hearts breaking knowing that they wouldn’t see their friend anymore, all that they had were now memories, tainted with the knowledge that Y/N was never truly happy.

[chemtrailsoverthrcountryclub]

I GET DRUNK ON JEALOUSY!

including satoru gojo & a batshit crazy reader.

content warnings of swearing, slut shaming, threats, hints of insecurity, reader has problems, no use of y/n

notes lmk how we’re feeling ab obsessive reader after u finish this… readers so cheeky. reqs are open. i didn’t proofread this btw so ignore mistakes thx bye

the first times you brought up your concerns to satoru about his obscene amount of female friends, he shrugged you off without a second thought. which led to you going through his phone while he showered and finding various messages of the girls he called “just friends” openly talking about you and your antics.

i dunno how ur not seeing it satoru. all she does is gaslight you :((

u deserve better toru ! there are so many girls out there who would treat u 10x better than wtv she’s doing <3

of course satoru shut down these ideas the moment they were sent, but that didn’t stop you from fighting the urge to gag as one of his friends called him by his nickname. your nickname. an eye twitched as you heard the shower turn off and you exited out of his phone before going back to apply your makeup, satoru coming out shortly after.

“so who do we know that’s going to be there?” it was a joke of a question, really. you knew it all. it was some fraternity horndog hosting the house party, so you weren’t too suspicious.

“probably just like… my whole friend group.” satoru shrugged as he buttoned up his loose shirt, approaching your vanity as you glanced at him in the mirror. you hummed in acknowledgment, nodding slowly.

“so… those girls? god, i just can’t put a name to any of their faces. you’ll have to remind me once we see them tonight.” cocking your head to the right ever so slightly, you made your passive aggressive comment to satoru.

he bent down to kiss your cheek before walking to put on his shoes. “s’not like they matter. you ready to go?”

coincidentally, you do run into one of those girls that happened to be talking about you in satoru’s DM’s. her outfit told you everything you needed to know about her. goddamn skank. the urge to strangle you is so strong— your thoughts are interrupted by satoru pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before murmuring in your hair.

“i’m gonna go catch up with suguru, ‘kay? don’t get lost on me now,” he teased and you grinned, nearly falling in love all over again. honestly, you can’t blame the girls.

satoru’s presence left your peripheral and the girl (still too unbothered to acknowledge their names) opens her mouth to introduce herself before you cut her off with a raised finger and a small smile. “stop messaging satoru,” your voice dropped an octave, and her face went pale. the music muffled your conversation to everyone else surrounding, only pushing you to threaten her further. “talk all the shit you want about me to whoever will listen, but don’t let me see it on satoru’s phone. or i’ll shove a butchers knife down your throat ten times bigger than the dicks you suck.”

you brushed away any lint from your tight fitted top before smiling once more at her, tucking a stray strand behind your ear innocently before turning to see satoru and suguru laughing in a corner. “this was a good talk. hopefully won’t see you around.”

satoru opens his arm for you to tuck yourself under with a smile as he sees you approaching, before placing another soft kiss to your hairline. “have fun, baby?”

“lots.” you grin, “lots of fun.”

[starillusion13]

FRIENDS!? Chapter 2

🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳

M.Masterlist Series ML

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

Pairing: poly!ateez × f!reader

(A Yandere AteezOffice Au)

Genre: Mature, Angst, Yandere, SMUT

Warning: The upcoming events in the story will contain themes like stalking, violence, obsession, manipulation, possessive behaviour and restraining acts. Do not kill me for not warning you. This is an Yandere story so you are well aware of what to expect more. For SMUT I WILL GIVE THE WARNING IN THE BEGINNING.

W.C: 4K

For my beloved: @oreharuuu

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @anyamaris @yeoobin @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @brrrkdslek @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @luhwaine

(open! dm me/ send ask/reply here)

Hello, Can we be friends please?

*under the cue*

🔳

“Are you really going there today?”

“Beomgyu, don’t you think you sound like my parents?” This is his fifth time asking you whether you still going to the office to where last day your so called long lost friend offered you to go for your internship. Then here this boy is suddenly like a mother to her child and bombarding you with questions.

“I care for you and am not letting to happen anything to you on knowing how you are believing some stupid men.”

“Beomgyu….. I know how to take care of me but I agree they are stupid or else how come I don’t remember them if they were really my bestfriends.”

“Don’t let them make you believe that you are their friend. You are only my friend and I don’t want to lose you to them.” You can literally see his pout with puppy eyes over the call.

Rolling your eyes and picking up the handbag, you make your way to the door “Don’t be childish. What about you? You literally ditch me when you see your other friends so I think atleast I should make some other friends as well.”

“You can make friends. Make Yeonjun and Soobin as your friends but not them. They look so…. I don’t know what to say but not them. Never.”

“Oh! Sure, thanks but I don’t want to be in you all’s discussion on stupid stuffs that don’t even make sense sometimes.”

“Y/N…..” you laugh on his whiny tone.

“Anyways I need to end the call as I have to be really quick to the parking area because they would be there waiting for me. I don’t want to make them wait on my first day and also some are really scary when it comes to my fault on anything.”

“Which one?”

“I don’t remember their names except the ones came to our class but the tallest one was really scary because he just scolded me when I insisted on calling them sir.”

Locking the door to your room, you made your way down the stairs to exit the building and head to the place where you have been told to meet Wooyoung.

“I just know their overall idea of their looks from your last night’s explanation but not got names and faces but I think you are in love with their personalities though.” His teasing voice is really making you feel like to smack his head right this moment.

“Shut up.”

His laugh echoes through the phone and a smile crack on your face.

“Anyways take care and just remember am just a call away if you need help.” You both ended the call on a lovely goodbye note as usual.

————————

Arriving to the parking area, you can see many students busy all around the grounds and streets and some are hurriedly going towards the university building for their class.

They have already informed your professor of your today’s whereabouts and he congratulated you for your offer to the office.

Offer? Well, apparently you think this as an excuse for your friends to help you to give you a place in their office. Are they pitying over you? Shaking your head, you glanced over your phone to see the timing has already past ten minutes.

“Hey! Y/N.” Turning around, you are shocked to see his form in casuals and he looks more youthful and maybe ….a boyfriend type. You smiled on the greeting and he returned you his grinning face with a shiny black sunglass.

“Hello Wooyoung. So, let’s go now as we are already running late for almost fifteen minutes.”

Nodding his head, he guides you to his luxury car and honestly somehow you felt so nice having such friends who are not treating you like shit even though them being hella rich.

On your way to the office, he offered you to have a quick breakfast from a café and the foods there tasted so delicious that you hope to get a job soon just to go there and treat yourself every day. Before all this, you need to remind yourself that you are a broke adult with expensive imaginations so you need to better work your ass off to get the job for having treats on these expensive places and such car rides.

 He asked you about your favorites and hobbies and also blend his spotify playlist with you so he can play them in car rides and also gets to know about your music taste. Your energy and confidence boost up when he mentioned about your music taste as you have a pride on your belief that you have the best taste. He laughs on your little excitement and referred you as ‘my cupcake’ in every statement.

You felt shy and moved your attention to the outside view which is looking so pretty on the bright sunny day. The weather is really mirroring your mood and you hoped it to be like this for the rest of the day.

————————-

Pulling to the side of a private section of the parking area of the office. You proceed to take off the seatbelt but he beats you again with it for helping you like a gentleman. He repeats his slow action like before like making an eye contact with you and slowly closing the distance between you two when his one hand balancing his body to your seat and other hand slowly handling the seatbelt. You break the eye contact again but this time he speaks up, “You are still beautiful like before.”

He backed off and you give him an awkward smile. Quickly, getting down, he comes to your side to open the door for you and offered you his hand like a prince. If only you both didn’t have this lost friendship thingy in between then you might have thought of dating this gentleman guy.

Taking your hands in his, with a prideful personality, he made his way towards the main entrance of the building. You both have sweet smiles on your face. Your doe eyes taking in the surroundings which is screaming grandeur and luxuriousness. You look down to your subtle shade of pink two-piece knee length outfit. The outfit is cool but not according blending to the richness of the present atmosphere.

Wooyoung scanned his card for the entry check and when the guard stepped forward to check your identity, his focus moves to your holding hands and then you tried to retreat your hand to which Wooyoung hold it tighter and shot a sharp glare to the guard and signalled to let you both pass.

 Your heart is beating fast on coming in the presence of so many highly ranked and unknown faces who are looking at you weirdly and some even whispering on your situation. You look towards him to see him looking between the escalator and the elevator as to make a decision to choose one.

“Um Wooyoung, I mean…please leave my hand. People are looking at us weirdly and I don’t want any rumours to be spread.” You give a fake smile to him to get a serious face in return.

He looks at the grip and then to the rest of the people who were staring at you and then when they caught his gaze, all went away on their specific works and he pulled you towards the elevator.

 The ding sound followed by the opening of the door to the eighth floor and you are still thinking about every possible situation that can happen here. Your attention was on your feet and a pair of black shoe comes in front which breaks your gaze and you lifted your head upward to see the angel looking man brightly smiling at you. That was how you described him to your friend because of your short memory to remember names.

“You were so lost in thoughts that you didn’t hear Woo calling out your name. He went away for the meeting and so I will guide you now.”

That’s true, the moment you both entered the elevator. He got a call and you were lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize what was going on around you. I have to get a grip on myself from getting lost in thoughts or I will be like a fool if anyone tries to kidnaps me because the kidnapper will have to call me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry for that but thank you…..” your lost eyes made him chuckle.

“Yeosang. I assume, you forgot our names. Its okay we will make sure to do every possible thing so that you won’t forget our names ever.”

His hesitant-self paused for a moment before holding your hands but suddenly out of nowhere, a boost of confidence sparks in him and you followed his way. This floor is silent and has less cabins for workers than the floor before and there are some locked doors with keypad lock on your both sides in the passage you are walking through.

“Where are we going?”

“Oh! Wooyoung didn’t tell you?” You shake your head and the rolling of his eyes brings a smile on your confused face.

“That boy is really of no use other than flirting anyways you are aware of the fact of you being here for an interview, right?” You slowly nod and then he continues.

“So we are going to meet the bosses in the office.”

“Bosses?”

“Well we have to two boss, one for maintaining the ring of the office and the other one for sectors.”

You just nod your head to show that you just understand the language and the words but actually you don’t even get whatever he explained to you. He also told on your way about everyone’s role and that he is the partner of Jongho in Health Data dept. and the t-shirt really proving his well built muscles underneath and his perfect match to health dept.

Both of your steps stop in front of a big red metal and glass door. The door is way too fancy for a simple interview room but the plate attached to the door above the keypad lock caught your attention. Two names were written- ‘Kim Hongjoong’ and ‘Park Seonghwa’.

“They are our bosses.” You glance at him and then again on the name. A click sound attracts your focus to your side where Yeosang scanned his eyes on a small screen.

Wow! There are really safety precautions everywhere, I need to have an adventure day here to see if I get caught or I can pass all through these safeties.

The door opens and the moment you got a glimpse of inside, you swear you wanted to scream. The decoration was too authentic and classy. The black and grey combinations spread all around the office room and every detail at its finest. You have always dreamt to have a room like this for yourself but your broke ass never been able to afford such things. Your eyes scanning all around the room and you didn’t know that you are practically adoring the room in awe and Yeosang smiling at you while closing the door behind him.

One thing you didn’t notice in particular is that a man with rolled up sleeves of his white shirt and loose tie matching with black pants standing in front of the corner bookshelf and his piercing eyes visible through the dishevelled hairs falling on his forehead scanning all your movements.

“Wow…” The moment you realized what you are doing, you apologetically look towards Yeosang and he just waved it off.

“It’s okay Y/N. They will be glad to know that you liked their office so much.”  

“Why did you bring her here?” The voice made you jump in your place and you place your hand over heart to calm your shocked self. You quickly turn towards the direction of the voice.

“San. They told me to bring her over here.”

“I was having an important check on schedule updates but anyways” his slow heavy footsteps echoed in the room and he approached to your conscious figure “ finally I got to see you Y/N.”

You hesitantly look towards him but somehow gives him an innocent smile, “Its nice to meet you too sir.”

“San. Call me San.”

You remained quiet and just nodded but he raised one eyebrow which has a small slit.

“Y/N, we told you to call us by our name then why are you repeating this again. We don’t like when someone don’t listen to us and its very disappointing when it comes from you.”

You felt guilty on Yeosang’s words.

“Sorry.”

“Its okay. It was your first time meeting me so I will let it slide but don’t take me easy like this.” A smirk plastered with his words on the face.

Yeosang lightly taps on your shoulder to gain your attention. He glances at San to see his wide smirk in return and went away towards the bookshelf.

“Y/N have a seat over there. They will be coming here soon.”

You look over to the main desk placed in front of the city view glass wall. Two chairs on opposite sides and you took a seat and look over those main chairs on other sides. The door opens and you can hear some unfamiliar voices and some familiar. You slowly turn your head and there six males entering the room.

Yeosang comes to your side to give you a recall of their names and you thanked him in small. The new males’ attention shifted to you when they saw you sitting quietly on a chair and staring at them.

“Hello Y/N. Myself Kim Hongjoong, the head of the managing sectors.” This man, Is he real? The jet black hairs falling on his flawless skin, his thick eyebrows and pointy nose complimenting his features perfectly. You stand up giving a professional smile and you quickly shake his already extended hand.

“Nice to meet you too, Sir Hongjoong.” You waited for him to say if you are wrong with the name again but he just nodded and took off his coat.

“Myself Park Seonghwa, the head of the ring management. Its so nice to finally see you in person Y/N.”

Why all the men in this office are with godly visual? Oh my god! They will be the reason of my distraction in this office.

“Same here, sir Seonghwa.” You both exchanged sweet smiles. He directed you back to your chair and they both seated themselves in opposite of you.

Your nervousness didn’t go unnoticed by Yeosang and he tapped on your shoulder to make you feel comfortable and give you a soft smile. You somewhat felt relieved and turn to face the two heads of each management in front of you.

“Don’t have to feel nervous. Stay calm, its not like your usual interview but its just we will be clearing some points on what to be done and not after you will join the company.” The ring management head nodded on his own words with a soft look on his face.

“Don’t I need to go through any interrogation process like we have in usual interviews?”

“Y/N we already have talked about this that we are friends so we want you to be relaxed and join our company.” Mingi spoke up while sitting on the sofa beside Yunho who is busy going through some files. Both have placed their coat on their laps and their casual wears on display making them look like usual public but not some CEO of some departments.

You glanced towards him and the two boss and repeated the action while speaking, “Thank you for helping me but I don’t want anyone to just pity on me when am in need and because I was their once bestfriend.”

Hongjoong clears his throat to gain everyone’s attention, “Have you all informed everyone about our new recruit?”

Wooyoung who is leaning to San and grinning while looking at the file in front of the bookshelf suddenly spoke up with enthusiasm, “Of course. I have let them know that we have got our best intern and they should treat her like they treat us. I don’t want anyone to look down on her when she is close to us even though being just an intern.”

“Thank you Wooyoung.”

Yeosang brings you a glass of water, “Drink this Y/N. You look so stressed.”

“Thank you Yeosang. Its just everything is so confusing to me. I don’t think it would be good to take me as an intern. Your company may have a bad impact on helping a friend like this who is apparently just an average student.”

Seonghwa cut you off, “You don’t have to worry about anything Y/N.”

Gulping the water down your dry throat, you heaved a sigh and look at the two males in front of you, “What are the points you were mentioning about to be followed?”

They both looked at each other before turning their attention to you. Having both of their attention on you at the same time somewhat making you a bit shy, you awkwardly tug your hairs behind your ears and it didn’t go unnoticed by the second oldest male.

 “So, we will give you the necessary form to fill up by tomorrow afternoon with all your details to be filled up accordingly asked. Next about your stay. Your dorm is really far away from here and it will be difficult for you to come here regularly. We have place for you to stay here. You can check it out later.”

“Should I address you both with sir or name?”

They chuckled on your sudden ask but answered quickly with agreeing with names.

“Staying here? But Seonghwa, I can’t stay in this building all alone with some unknown people and even I have to attend university.”

Hongjoong interjects, “You are not alone here. We also live here and about university, we will let them know about your full time internship and you can have online tutoring classes and Jongho can take you to the campus for once a week to submit your assignments and projects.”

Jongho who was silently sitting on a rocking chair in the corner look up on hearing his name. he nodded when he sees you looking at him. He stands up and come near to stand beside Hongjoong.

“You all stay here?”

The youngest speaks with a smile on his face, “Yes. This building has twenty floors and the last five floors and the rooftop is only for us similarly like this eighth floor which is our private office area. You can stay in any room from top floors.”

“The other floors?”

“Well the other floors where the staffs and others are allowed are only till seventh floor and to the rest only the personal requested staffs when some important business is to be done. The rest of the floors will be introduced to you when you will have a building tour tomorrow after turning in the form.”

“I can reject the letter offer right?”

“Y/N?” Yeosang abruptly asked you from the place near glass window from where he was enjoying the outside view. Everybody in the room paused on their action hearing your question and the way Yeosang’s call was near to a yell. Your wide eyes fixed on the said male, who made his way near your form to sit beside you. He turns your chair to make you face him and pull it closer.

“Yeosang….I meant that I can-“

“Y/N. Accept the offer and do what they have said accordingly unless we are losing our mind or we have some other ways to make you do it.”

“I have my own rights to do things and on that I can reject it if I don’t think this job is for me.”

“Y/N I swear-“

“Yeosang! Come with me.” San with quick steps come to your view to drag him away from you outside the room so that he can’t further make you more scared.

‘How can that angel speak to you like this?’

Yunho takes the previous male’s seat but his expression is even more dark. He communicated something with eyes with the two heads of the office before proceeding to state his opinion.

“Take the offer letter. Think about it after you go back to your dorm. You can take your time but don’t think to push this away carelessly as you know you don’t get this sort of opportunities every day. “

“I need time to think. My life is already messed up with so much of different stuffs. I know I have to do something with my career but am confused right now. Please give me some time and then I will let you know.”

Hoping to not piss them off anymore, you carefully expressed your view. You scanned all of their faces to at least get hints of some positive reply.

“Okay take this weekend to come up with a decision and we will meet you on Monday with our final round of being just friendly strangers.”

‘Friendly Strangers?’

Your confused look on Hongjoong’s words make the three males near you chuckle.

“I suppose they have mentioned you about our childhood friendship so after you accept our offer, we will treat you like how an actual female bestfriend should be treated.”

“I told you Y/N, we all are really happy to get you back.”

“Mingi, how come you all are so sure that I will end up with accepting this offer?”

Seonghwa added this time, “We are more than sure that your decision will be to accept the offer as the only option.”

You focused yourself on your fidgeting thumbs on the table and bit your lips because the more they are speaking, the more you are becoming confused.

To your opposite Seonghwa holds your hand startling you, “Calm down Y/N. Go home take rest and think about this with a clear mind.” He gives you a comforting smile in the end.

Your head is paining and all of a sudden, you are feeling overwhelmed with all these attentions all at once. You glance to everyone present in the room and close your eyes.

“I want to go back to campus.”

“Wooyoung take her back and make sure to have a visit to the university.” Nodding his head on hongjoong’s order, he guides you to the out of the room to take you back to your place.

“What do we do now Hongjoong? If she rejects the offer then our plan to bring her here will go in vain.”

“Don’t worry Seonghwa. Everything is going to be as planned. Yunho, you know what to do tomorrow right?”

The said male leans on his chair and eyes focused on the chair where you were sitting few minutes ago.

“Of course! I know.”

“Whats a plan that am not aware of?”

“No one is aware of this except us. It’s just we came up with this to avoid any mishap in our plan.”

“And what’s that?”

“You will know it from her on your own when she will be coming here with a positive feedback to our plan.”

Mingi along with the youngest is exiting the room when suddenly he turns back to face the three sitting males, “Now come on, we need to see why he lost his mind that time.”

———————

After a silent ride back to your campus, you somewhat felt relief to be back in a familiar atmosphere.

“Thanks for the ride Wooyoung.”

“No worries. Have fun cupcake, lets meet on Monday and I hope we will spend a bit more time.”

“I don’t know if that’s possible.”

“Oh! Trust me the fun begins here.”

You both waved each other to part ways on your own.

Maybe this is the only day, you are able to escape a hidden danger and to be back to your own little paradise.

—————————-

NEXT

[beautifulchris]

pink tulip

pairing: bang chan x gn!reader

wc: 3,4k

featuring: hwang hyunjin, lee felix, kim seungmin, yang jeongin, blackpink’s lisa, bts’ jeongguk, got7’s bambam and yugyeom, golden child's jangjun

summary: you’re always glued to your best friend chan, and your seventh year with him is no different

genres: hogwarts!au, best friends to lovers!au, gryffindor!chan, gryffindor!reader, fluff

warnings: kissing

notes: moodboard made by me, pictures found on the internet. reposting works from my old blog

order of writing: chan - jisung - minho - hyunjin - jeongin - seungmin - changbin - felix

networks: @kflixnet @k-labels @straykidsland

tag list: @badwithten @raethethey send ask/dm/comment to be added!

The weather was perfect on a sunday like this. Warm with a refreshing breeze. On the Quidditch pitch, a majority of Gryffindor were either on the field, a broom in hand or sitting between the stands.

You were set back from the group of people on the field, stretching to be in the best form possible.

Quidditch meant a lot to you, it had for five years now. Being in the Quidditch team for so long meant having friends and rivals but overall, you were very friendly so the rivalry turned into friendship over the years.

You were stretching your arms when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned around with your arm still spread and hit Jeongguk’s shoulder.

“Eh!”

Yugyeom was laughing and you joined him cheerfully. Jeongguk’s expression was too funny to be ignored.

“You scared me Gguk, it’s your fault. Hi Yugy.”

“Hi Y/N, how’s it going?”

“I’m ready to keep my place. Also congrats on you two for staying as beaters this year.”

“Thanks. We’ll try not to take you down too much.”

”You’ll wish you did,” you bragged.

They scoffed with smiles on their faces. “It’s almost time for tryouts, we’ll be on the stands cheering you on,” said Yugyeom gently.

“Yeah, we wouldn’t miss this for anything.”

“Just say you’re here to spy on us for Soyeon,” you accused, not being serious at all.

“Can’t we cheer on our friend without being attacked like this?” Yugyeom fake cried.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Thanks guys, your presence is really appreciated,” you smiled at them as they walked away, waving at you.

As the chaser, you were one of the best elements of the team. But really, you always thought the team was getting better and better over the years. Especially since Hyunjin joined.

Speaking of which, he only had time to come to you when Chan went straight to you both when he saw you on the field.

“Hey,” Chan greeted as he kissed your forehead and hugged Hyunjin.

Chan was your best friend. He always greeted you with a kiss on your forehead. It was his way of showing you affection. He was also a lot clingy, so he hugged his friends often, you included.

“Hey, do I really have to audition for the tryouts again?”

Chan was the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He was also the last —but not least— one to make the tryouts for the team of the year. Around thirty students —more people than the year before— came and he was divided between being happy so many people wanted to be part of the team and being anxious because he knew he inevitably had to say no to more of them.

“Are you scared better chasers will take your place, Hyunjin?” Chan asked, smirking.

“Definitely not, I’m determined to get in.”

“You’re right, you’re one of the best. If Chan doesn’t take you back, that would be the team’s loss. And you don’t want a weak team, am I right, Chan?” you asked, turning to Chan.

Hyunjin thanked you for your kind words and you winked at him while Chan waited for him to walk away before giving you an implied look. To which you replied with a raised eyebrow.

“What? Am I not right?”

“You are, he’s one of the best. But there’s a lot of people today, I ca—”

“So what?” you cut him off. “You know like me that none is better than him.”

“You seem to forget yourself.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

“You’re as good as he is, if not better. Give your best today, it would be a shame if I had to replace you,” he winked at you, put his broom between his legs and flew into the air without letting you reply.

He went in front of the mass of people who were waiting for the tryouts while you were left flustered by his wink. You quickly put yourself together (you’ll have plenty of time to rant after the tryouts), picked up your broom and went next to Hyunjin to listen to what the captain had to say.

“Thank you everyone for coming today. As you know, six people will be selected for this year. A seeker, two beaters and three chasers. Let’s begin with the chasers, shall we? Next will be the beaters then the seeker. Please, those who came for the other positions you can go to the stands for now.”

You prepared yourself and went in the air as easily as walking. Flying on a broom was so satisfying, you really loved it and were almost more comfortable in the air than on the ground.

Chan positioned himself in front of the hooped goal posts and Bambam, the freshly new Gryffindor Head Boy, who you didn’t see coming, threw the quaffle into the air. The tryouts had officially started and you were ready to show your skills.

About thirty minutes later, the verdict was final. Everyone returned to the ground and gathered around Chan.

“I want you all to know that if you’re not taken this year, don’t lose hope. Your time will come. I mean, it's my last year,” he laughed. “Alright, let me introduce the new chasers for this year: Y/N Y/L/N, Lisa Manoban and Hyunjin Hwang. Congratulations to you three.”

Everyone clapped their hands. Chan’s eyes met yours and your smile lighted up his face, making him smile brightly, showing his cute dimples. You then found Lisa and Hyunjin and hugged them tight.

“I’m so happy. We’re like the holy trinity,” beamed Lisa into your ear.

“It’s true, we’re a killing team,” added Hyunjin.

You closed your eyes and enjoyed the moment of joy you were sharing with your friends while the field was slowly emptying, leaving the chasers and the keeper.

“Guys, the beaters are coming. Ready to go there again?”

“Way to kill the mood, Chan,” whined Lisa but you went back into the air like you belonged there.

The beaters were chosen after forty minutes into the game. It wasn’t without complaints but Mingyu Kim and Chaeyoung Son were the best. They deserved it, since they almost killed you —twice.

For the seeker, you all had to play again, but somehow you never got tired of it. You were amazed by the time Mark Lee needed to catch the snitch. Eight minutes. He was the fastest boy you ever saw.

When he returned to the ground where everyone was waiting for him, you realized his broom was the fastest of the current year.

Of course, you thought, it helps.

But he truly was the best, the broom couldn’t create talent. You were sure to win all the games with him.

The tryouts finished, you directly went to take a shower and relax in the Gryffindor common room. Your transfiguration homework could wait an hour or two.

Chan sat next to you on the comfortable couch.

“You were amazing today. I couldn’t stop any quaffle you threw.” He was truly impressed by you. Ordinarily, he could stop two or three, but today, you were at your best form.

“Thank you. I practiced during summer with my dad,” you explained. “But are you sure it’s me getting better or you getting sloppy?”

He looked at you in disbelief and it made you giggle. His features softened at the view, he undeniably had a soft spot for you.

If only you could see it, he often thought.

“Hey, you want to spend the day with me next weekend?” offered Chan.

“Sure, what do you want to do?”

“We could revise for the N.E.W.T. at the Three Broomsticks?”

“Like a study date?”

“A—a date?” he choked a bit.

“Yeah, it’s not what you were asking?”

“Oh yes, yes it was.”

Chan felt awkward and stupid for stuttering like that. He wanted to show more assurance but you were making his heart beat so fast he couldn’t help it.

He was saved by the gong. Or more precisely, Jeongin, who needed help for the Lapifors spell. You greeted the younger and they left you.

You had your eyes closed and didn’t open them when you felt someone sitting next to you again.

“When are you going to confess?”

Your eyes opened wide and you looked at the boy.

“What are you even doing here, Seungmin?”

“I came here right after the tryouts to congratulate you and Hyunjin. So congrats. And don’t change the subject,” he grinned.

You sighed, staring at the portrait of the lion above the fireplace.

“Thanks. We have a study date next week,” you simply replied.

“A WHAT? You’re growing up so fast,” he said in an emotional voice, wiping off a non-existent tear from his eye.

“You’re younger than me, silly,” you laughed at his reaction.

“True but still, it’s been years Y/N. It was about time you did something.”

You completely ignored what he just said. “I think he flirted with me before the tryouts. I’m not sure though.”

“…What did he say?”

“He complimented me on my skills and winked at me. I was so flustered, Seungmin, I swear he’s so likable.”

“Whipped.” He giggled shamelessly at your pout.

“What is?” you heard Chan ask from behind you.

From the corner of your eye, you glared at Seungmin for a second, a scared expression on your face, before turning around with an awkward smile.

“Nothing, we were just gossiping,” explained your Ravenclaw friend, saving you from embarrassing yourself.

“Okay, I feel like you’re hiding something from me but I’ll let it pass for now.”

“Thank you,” you breathed then got up. “I have transfiguration homework to do, bye guys.” You literally ran to your room without looking back to avoid any further questions.

“Is everything okay?” you heard Chan ask but didn’t stay to listen to the rest.

“Yeah, so when are you going to confess?”

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

The whole week you were thinking about the study date and when it was time to go, you were a bit nervous, but excited.

When you entered the Three Broomsticks, your eyes wandered around looking for your best friend. You found him upstairs in a corner, two mugs of butterbeer in front of him. His dimples showed when he smiled at you and your heart melted. It was one of the things that made you really happy.  You joined him and started working.

“I spent a really good time with you today. Thank you for helping me with this particularly hard silencing charm. And sorry for practicing on you.”

“It was with pleasure, Y/N. Thank you for your help on my transfiguration homework. I couldn’t see the end of the parchment last night.”

“You want to do this again?”

“I would love to.”

“What about the same day, same time, same table if not already taken?”

“Okay,” he agreed, finishing his butterbeer. His heart was fluttering, he won more alone time with you, like you weren’t already inseparable.

On a table, not far, Felix and Seungmin were talking about the two lovebirds.

“How many months before one of them confesses?”

“It’ll be done by the Christmas holidays. I hope,” Seungmin sighed, sipping his mug of butterbeer.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

And so, every saturday you practiced Quidditch and every sunday you studied at the Three Broomsticks. It was your routine for a few weeks, until the first match opposing Gryffindor to Slytherin, the second weekend of november.

The whole school was present for it, especially your friends in the front row, hyping the hell out of both teams. Jangjun and Felix were the commentators and you were expecting funny comments from them.

Everyone was in good condition and was excited for their first match of the season. The Slytherin team was constituted of the best Slytherin players and Soyeon was a good captain. You weren’t very close but she had helped you before for your Wiggenweld potion the year before, which made you earn an O, so you were grateful.

The teams greeted each other and you talked a bit with Yugyeom, Jeongguk and Changbin. The latter was one of your closest friends so even if you were currently rivals, you gave him a warm hug and wished him good luck.

“Alright, is everybody ready?” asked the referee.

A whole cheer answered back and all the players went into the air. You flew above the referee to be the first to catch the quaffle.

“One, two… THREE. LET’S START,” she shouted before releasing the bludgers and the snitch then throwing the quaffle into the air.

“From the outset, Y/N is taking the quaffle and is going for that goal,” Jangjun commented into the mic.

“They’re flying majestically,” added Felix.

“Mister Lee, please,” scolded the professor next to him.

He apologized and continued, “Y/N gives the quaffle to Lisa, who’s making a sloth grip roll to avoid a bludger sent by Yugyeom!”

“She’s giving the quaffle to Hyunjin and he’s close to the goal. He’s about to strike, San is getting ready and- HE SCORES!”

“Ten-Zero for Gryffindor!” shouted Jangjun excitedly.

About three hours after the beginning of the match, no injuries were to be deplored. Mark was about to catch the snitch but Jeongguk blocked him and Changbin caught it right after. Even with their final effort, Gryffindor won the game. The final score was very close: 240-230.

The team was celebrating with a few friends at the Three Broomsticks after a well-deserved long and hot shower. There were a total of eighteen people gathered around two tables. Engorgement charm had been used on the mugs of butterbeer, unbeknownst of Madam Rosmerta —and she better not know for all of your sakes.

A few hours after the little party, where you all had a very good time, exchanging anecdotes about everyone’s school experience, you went back to school.

On the way, Chan and you were glued to each other like always. Everyone could see the love you had for each other but you.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

Two weeks after the second Quidditch match opposing Hufflepuff to Ravenclaw, Seungmin, Hyunjin, Felix and Jeongin gathered in the Room of Requirement to talk about you and Chan while you were both studying at the Three Broomsticks like every sunday.

“We really have to do something to help them. I refuse to see them spend the Yule ball with anyone else,” said Seungmin in a serious tone.

“Or worse: alone,” added Jeongin.

“They’re never going to confess on their own, they’re too afraid to lose each other,” sighed Hyunjin.

“We can help them with that, right?” asked Felix.

“Right. I have an unerring plan,” smirked Seungmin.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

And so the next friday, as you were walking to your next class, a note flew out of nowhere on your charms book saying “meet me in the room of requirement at 7 tonight. chan xx”.

You stared at the note for a whole minute. Lisa had to pull you by the arm to avoid a collision with a running group of first years.

“What’s happening?” inquired Lisa with a raised eyebrow.

“Uh, nothing, I’m seeing Chan tonight.”

“You see Chan everyday. Why are you blushing so hard? Did he ask you out?” She jumped around you excitedly.

Instead of answering her, because you didn’t know exactly what he wanted to tell you, you showed her the note.

“Oh my, this is so cool. If you need help with anything, let me know before it’s too late.” She fled away and you followed her.

“Wait, what is that supposed to mean?”

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

Meanwhile, Chan was seated on a low wall with Bambam when the note deposited itself on his hand while he was talking. He stopped himself to read “meet me in the room of requirement at 7 tonight. y/n xx”.

Bambam read it over his shoulder and nudged his friend.

“Tell me you’re going to go.”

“Did I ever ditch on my best friend?”

“Best friend,” he repeated mockingly, “you better dress well for the occasion.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dude, you’re unbelievable,” Bambam face palmed.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

Jeongin was hiding near the door and no one could see him. He was there to make sure you and Chan would enter while everything your friends worked hard for was still present.

Chan was the first to enter the Room of Requirement. He was surprised and amazed by the sight. Birds were flying, candles and flowers were levitating and a table at the center of the room was filled with yours and Chan’s favorite food.

Soon after, you entered the room, looking outside as you closed the door.

“Hey Chan— wow.”

You took the sight in as well. A particular light made your face shine and Chan could swear he fell in love with you once again. Your eyes laid on him and you smiled.

“What did you want to talk about?” you asked, gulping loudly.

“I received a note from you, don’t you have something to say to me?” he raised an eyebrow.

“I received a note from you too, though.”

You watched his reaction, being yourself confused. His smile faded a bit and you worried.

“I see there’s our favorite food, want to eat? I’m starving,” you proposed.

“Sure.”

He sat in front of you but didn’t lay his eyes on the food since you entered. That was the moment Jeongin chose to discreetly leave to join his friends in the Great Hall.

“So, if you didn’t send that note and I didn’t either, who do you think made all of this?” you asked.

“Probably Seungmin. I think the flowers come from him.”

“I agree. I recognize ambrosia, linaria bipartita, red rose and red, pink, orange tulip,” you enumerated, looking around.

“It’s crazy how you can recognize so many flowers.” Once again, he was impressed by you.

“I simply love Herbology. Felix surely helped by asking the elves to cook all this delicious food.”

“I think he and Hyunjin used the levitation charm and the avifors spell.”

“And someone had to stay here until one of us got in. I bet they made Jeongin do it.”

“They did so much, it’s really cool. Hey, look at the birds!” you exclaimed.

They were forming a big heart while flying. How romantic! It suddenly made you realize the meaning behind the flowers and you looked down at Chan. He looked at you at the same time and you stared at each other for a rather long time. You began to speak at the same time as well. Damn synchronization. 

“Chan—”

“Y/N—”

“You first.”

“No, you.”

“Okay, I know the meaning behind the flowers.”

“Oh?” he seemed interested to have your insight on them. Truthfully, he was interested in anything you had to say.

“So,” you took a deep breath, “pink tulips mean caring, good wishes, friendship, joyful occasions and confidence. The orange one means understanding, appreciation and truest love. After that, it’s…”

“It’s what?”

“Ahem. Linaria bipartita means… please notice my feelings for you.”

Chan widened his eyes. Was it going to happen through flowers symbolism?

“Red tulip means undying love, passion and perfect love and ambrosia means reciprocated love.”

“Looks like Seungmin knows us too much. I love you.”

“I love you too, Chan.”

“You have no idea how happy I am right now, hearing you say that.” If his red ears and dimpled smile were any indication.

“I love you, I love you, I love you so much Chan, I’ve loved you for so long now,” you chanted, taking his hands in yours over the table.

“Me too. Would you want to go to the Yule Ball with me?”

“Of course I would!”

You both got up at the same time and you hugged tightly. Oh how happy you were at this moment, in your lover’s arms with birds chanting your names… Wait.

“Do you hear what I hear?”

“Yes…”

You looked at the birds. It wasn’t unpleasant to hear. Felix and Jeongin must have taken a lot of their time to teach them so much.

The elves worked hard to make the food and it would be a shame to leave it there. You had a wonderful date that night.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ✿

The night of the Yule Ball, after dancing for two whole hours non-stop with your friends, you went outside to breathe. Chan followed you and put his hand on your waist.

“You look stunning,” he said into your ear.

You turned to him and kissed his lips.

“So are you.”

thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, please let me know <3 and here's the masterlist!

[hyunpic]

HAIIIIII HAIIIII HAIIIII II III II i hit a big milestone on skz comeback day so i decided to do a lil thank u post or whatever idk. ive never done one of these in my tumblr career . As u can see ….. and the quality of the banner is trash just like where hyunjin almost fell. Can u just think of it as 5 minutes of crafts and like this is sooo five years old child making a Mother’s Day card to her mom. It’s full of love anyway 😻 i was writing this post while taking hits of my vanilla vape and it ran out of nicotine juice so im struggling and can’t focuse anymore 👍 pls forgive me this is gonna be very messy 😄

anyway these are no in particular order and sorry if i forgot someone 😔😔😔😔 this is what makes me so nervy that i have never made a post like this before like 😔 i don’t want to forget anyoneeeeeee also tumblr wouldn’t let me add more so blame them and not me DUMBLR 😡🍅🍅🍅🍅 thank u so much for sticking around and u are all so very dear to me in all of your unique ways:

@woozis @woodziecup @christakisbang @y-eontan @hyuncheols @ughbehavior @londonsboy @minchanz @minhosblr @morgoth @leenope @theboytatu @shnryjn @yang-innie @snug-gyu @jinniebit @ttathinker @digitalgirls @agibbangs @haenglixie @bangzchan @megaversed @yangjeongin @hyunchanz @seungminhos @chanstopher @chanrizard @djxiao @possession1981 @yunwooz @hyunjinz @exocean @onedoors @seungmoes @geniaparadox @kimtaegis @hyunjinz @cowboybin @farascha @wooobinz @taedongz

@strayklds: em i love to see u in my notifications and in my dms and perceiving u content and and and and etc. seeing u here always feels like the biggest warmest and welcoming hug. you are simply just like jisung - the best friend shaped guy and ilu so much for that 💖

@hanarchy: WAAAAAAA my chris.. this is so different cause we have actually met. thank y for always taking care of me… u are so so dear to me. like i will never forget the feeling of breaking down in tears when we got to lolla area and i realized i will see skz and u made sure i was okay. it will be my core memory till im in my death bed. i love u and your company and that we can bitch to each other about stuff and u just get me and i get u… i hope we can keep holding hands and making many more memories together 💘

@wantbytaemin: MY FUCKING MAIN SLAYEEEEEER it’s no joke that u stan taemin and u are a queen yourself as well… like greatness recognizes greatness. a piece of my heart is still in that weird little airbnb i shared with you in paris and whenever im sad i wish i could be there with you. my forever destined roommate or whatever idek. but i love u with all of my heart. The way we clicked right away when we met is crazy to me like i felt like i had known u forever. U are just soooOoooo amazing words can’t even describe 💘 ilyilymwahhhh

@izayaki MYYYYYY CARLYBEANNNNNNN MY CARLYBEANNNNNNNN MY CARLYBEANNN I FUCKING LOVE U U ARE EVERYTHING TO ME!!!! you could only treat me as your local sandman if u wished but i wouldn’t care like i love u so much!!!! i know i can always count u to be so crazy with me when it comes to hyunjin. also i feel like it’s worth mentioning that u make me feel so comfortable around u. i feel like i can finally be like myself whenever i talk with you :(( like u accept me just how i am and it means so much to me… idk i just feel like i will love u unconditionally and 4ever or whatever katy perry said in that one hit song of hers.

@sunmisbf we will one day smoke together. like idec how many years it will take. we will sit at that porch when we are 80 years old grandmas and we will share a joint and talk about our good old kpop days. u are a delight here and i would feel so empty if i didn’t follow u.

@dowoonyoon: my favoritest penpal.. the way u are engraved in my heart forever. u are just as lovely as taylor swift love songs, i hope u know that. im so happy to scream about anything and whatever with u. WE WILL GET MORE OF THOSE TAYLOR AND SKZ CRUMBS NEXT YEAR 🕯️🕯️🕯️

@yonglixx my sun sunny sunshine!!!! you might be one of the most supportive people on tumblr and i think we as a community need more people like u around. your light and positivity doesn’t go unnoticed. im glad to call u my friend 🌞

@ortali my cutie ortal… my favorite hyunie stan ever. me and u are the same and i miss u so dearly everyday whenever u aren’t here. tumblr isn’t the same without your presence. you bring me so much comfort and serenity and im so thankful that the world brought you to me 😣💘

@seungs: ik u hate sappy things but i will still shamelessly admit you are one of my favorite people ever here. im always here for your thoughts like i neEEED to hear them u know. you are so wise and collected and talented (ggoat = greatest gif maker of all time) that i aspire to be like u in so many ways like i just adore u so much hehe. i hope to be like u or whatever woodz said. i hope we get to meet once skz all around the world drags their booties to here mwah 💋

@seo-changbinnies: my trusted pc trader like trust all of my bin pcs will come to your way every comeback. it’s a tradition atp to stress over the international mail but i wouldn’t change a thing. u are a joy to be around and a blessing to this hellsite. so much happiness and joy radiating your tags that i couldn’t imagine tumblr without your presence. love u sososoo much 💖

@hyunsung: hello HELLOOOOO reach out to me im one of your biggest fans. i see a gifset of yours and i will be getting that thing to at least 1k notes like that’s the minimum they all deserve. you make art here and i think everyone should acknowledge it and appreciate it!!!!!!!! your name is mona just like one of the most famous art pieces of this whole world. i think it tells so much ‼️‼️

@chrisbangs my liiii my little moon… u are one of my first stayblr friends and i love u to the moon and back. whenever we catch up it’s like catching up with an old childhood bestie. nothing changed and the connection and love is always there. u mean so much to me than words could ever describe. i will forever be here rooting for you thousands miles away but our hearts will stay always connected 💘

@young-jae my forever only love sohvi. u have been here for me since the day one like im not even kidding… u know me through and through and i consider u my family at this point. i know if i fall to a dark place, i got your shoulder to lean on and that means the world to me. and same with you. you own my heart forever and always. i need to hug u so badly, i know i have the bestest hug in the world stored for u that i have been holding bag just to save it for u 💘 esc2024 here we come

@ye-xiu i feel like me and u are a married couple at this point like we have been through so much together and separately too like WOWIUUEEEEEE u are like a solid rock to me. a constant force that i can count on and i value it so much. i feel like i have told u this before but i love when u write.. u have a way with your words that always seem to touch places in my heart that i didn’t even know were there. hmm.. whatever does it ever drive u crazy how fast the night changes but it will never change me and u (that’s literally 1d lyrics but it just fits us)

@huiracha omg i adore u so much like 😭😭😭😭😭 IM SIMPLY A PEASANT WHILE PERCEIVING UR CONTENT. the way i have like actually kicked my feet few times in my bed when u rebloged something from me.. idk u are like my tumblr crush marie.. i just had to let u know here publicly!!!!!

@mybodyfails my sweetest oli with sososooooo much love to give…. u are sooooooo special. always rooting for me and hyping me up like half of my self confidence comes from your kindness. i hope you that passionate love you give out to the world will find you eventually. im glad to act as a cupid in your life too like that’s one of my greatest accomplishments and i will be mentioning it in my next job interview 😼

@hyumjim my funny guy Emily… u are like one of the funniest and craziest (in a good day at) people i have ever met. your energy irl also is just so joyful like i for real feel like i would never be depressed if i could spend at least few days a week with you (maybe that’s why u are a therapist… woah 🫨)

[a-writer-on-elm-street]

Hi there! I don’t know if you write poly Sinclair or not but if you do could I get a poly Sinclair x reader (female or gender neutral is fine) where the reader gets really mad at someone for not understanding what they want despite how many times they explain and so the boys comfort her/them and calm them down?

I’m getting really frustrated with my counselor for basically ignoring what I’m saying to the point where I want to scream and cry and I just really need some x reader comfort right now lol, but no pressure of course! Sorry if this is over stepping anything! Have a lovely day/night!

pairing: poly!sinclair x gn!reader

summary: when you get back from a difficult counsellor appointment, the sinclairs try to offer you some comfort

warnings: minor injury detail, blood

a/n: this isn't overstepping at all, i'm happy to write this for you! thank you so much for requesting, sorry it took a while, and i hope you enjoy! <3

also, sorry to hear your counsellor's being so difficult, i know the feeling when people don't listen to you. if you ever need to talk, my dms are always open :)

word count: 905

You were so frustrated you felt like you were about to explode as you walked through the front door of the house, Bo lounging about on the couch, Vincent clearly elsewhere.

It didn't take Bo long to notice something was up, as he stood up from the couch, proceeding to follow you into the kitchen. "The hell's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." You muttered, getting a glass of water as Bo stood beside you, leaning against the counter.

You'd just come back from a counselling session, and they hadn't listened to a word you'd said. You might as well have been talking to a brick wall.

"Well I think we both know that's bullshit, sweetheart." Bo argued, watching you as you leaned over the sink. "So what's the matter with you?"

"It doesn't matter."

Before Bo could say anything else, the front door swung open, Lester walking in with Jonesy happily circling his feet.

He was covered in dirt and smelled like wet dog as he walked into the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge. He didn't even register you and Bo at first, as he sat down at the table with a bottle of orange juice, gulping it down like his life depended on it.

But once he finally acknowledged you both, he became mildly concerned by the agitated look on Bo's face. "You alright, (y/n)?"

"Fine." You answered, turning from the sink, only to crash into Vincent, the glass in your hand falling to the floor.

And that was the final straw, the thing to completely shatter the wall you had put up.

Tears burned your eyes as you bent down to start picking up the broken glass, and you wanted to scream, you wanted to yell at everyone in the room right now.

But all you could do was try desperately to hold back tears as you focused on picking up the glass.

Vincent was soon kneeling in front of you, attempting to help with the cleanup, but if you were being honest, you just wanted to be left alone right now.

All your frustration was bubbling up inside of you now, and you were worried you'd end up taking it out on the brothers, which would've been awful considering they'd done nothing wrong.

You picked up another piece of glass, adding it to the small pile you were creating in the palm of your hand, desperately trying to block everybody out as you did.

But the second Bo's hands came over yours, you were unable to keep yourself calm, turning and shoving him away from you, forgetting about the broken glass that was now enclosed in your fist.

You winced when you felt the glass pierce your skin, warm blood beginning to run across the palm of your hand.

Bo immediately spotted the blood seeping through your fingers, urging you to drop the glass as you opened your hand.

You practically stayed there in silence as Bo helped you up off the floor, instructing Vincent to go and get the first aid kit, telling Lester to clean up the mess.

"And make sure you keep the damn dog away from it. We don't want no more injuries around here." He'd added, as he guided you into the living room, sitting you down on the couch and kneeling in front of you, his hands still cradling your injured one.

"You gonna tell me what's wrong?" He finally asked you, concern in his eyes as he looked up at you.

Silent tears were staining your cheeks as you looked at him, all the pent up emotion finally spilling out of you.

You eventually offered him a brief explanation, to which he was surprisingly understanding.

"Alright, well let's take care of that hand and we can all relax, okay?" He told you.

You gave him a quiet nod, just as Vincent returned with the first aid kit.

He quickly looked you over, his rough hands carefully wrapped around your own as he inspected the injury. And he concluded that it wasn't serious, deciding to simply clean it up and wrap it.

Once he was finished, Bo joined you on the couch, Vincent coming to sit on the other side of you. And you were even more shocked when Bo handed you the remote, considering he never let anybody touch the remote.

A few moments passed and Lester finally arrived in the living room, carrying a slightly stained mug in his hands.

"Thought I'd make you some herbal tea." He smiled, handing you the cup. "Heard it's good for stress and stuff."

You offered him a small smile, before taking a sip of the tea. And it took everything in you not to visibly cringe from the taste. It was fucking digusting, but you still appreciated the gesture.

Lester then joined you all on the couch, his eyes never leaving you as he watched you sipping the tea.

To be completely honest, Bo and Vincent couldn't stop their gaze from wandering to you either. They all just wanted to make sure that you were okay. You meant so much to them, and despite their callous lifestyle, they couldn't bear to see you hurting.

But as you sat with them in front of the TV, a cheesy romance movie playing on the screen, you found that you were at peace. Being here, with your boys, you were home. And you wouldn't want it any other way.

[Main Masterlist]

[joosbasschick]

🌌Void🌌

A Ricky x Fem!Reader (Angst/Fluff)

Summary: You have been having an extremely hard time for a few weeks, but today was just the one day that topped them all... So Ricky had to step in before he lost you to yourself.

Warnings/Mentions: Depression, Drug usage (prescribed medications), self-deprecation, LOTS OF CRYING, Pet names (Squirt, Honey, Sweetie, Maomao, and Darling), very small amount of violence? 

Hello everyone! I finally have completed my very first ZB1 fanfic and have truly become an official writer of Zumblr! This work has a lot of my emotions or feelings into it and was very self-indulgent when thought of. As many of my previous followers may have noticed, I’ve changed my user to “rickyschicky.” Yes, I’m going to mainly be writing about ZB1 from now on, but no I’ll still write for other groups/idols. But they most likely will be my ult biases or Idols that have a special place in my heart. This fic is coming out a lot later than I originally wanted it to due to a lot of personal things happening in my life. Now that this is released, I’ll be working on a proper pin that has a proper about me, rules for the blog, rules for asks and even an anon list for those who wish to SECRETLY stick around! Im very excited to have my fresh start, so perceive me well, pretty please! Feedback is always appreciated, and if you see mistakes don’t be afraid to send me a DM!

Cup. Pop. Gulp.

     This routine was normal for you, a dreaded ritual if anything. If you didn’t do this every morning and night, you know your life would be in shambles and unlivable. Curling into your favorite (F/C) blanket, you let out a sigh of emptiness as your feet mindlessly kick around in it. 

Managing depression, sucks.

     Mindlessly watching whatever was playing on the tv, the heart inside of your chest sunk deeper and deeper. Yet anything you put on couldn’t entertain you, not even rewatching your favorite shows. You can’t decide what’s worse; not remembering how many days it’s been since this started, not eating or hydrating enough, or the fact that you have shut all your friends out with your boyfriend being the very next one. You hear your best friend’s custom ringtone blare though your phone speakers at least twice a day, but you couldn’t help but sigh and say, “not today, (F/N)”. Everything from blaring sounds to the soft fabric currently on your fingertips felt like it was hardly there. Your body feels like over-used putty, numb and worn out from so much usage. It’s impossible though, it has felt like you haven’t moved from this spot in months. Who knows the actual time you even were here on the couch of you and your lover’s shared house.

     It’s pitiful how you couldn’t even jump from surprise when Ricky touches your head softly, “I’m home, squirt. I’m sorry I was out late, I wanted to finish getting a certain verse right.’ Only humming in response, you sit up and turn the tv down in an attempt to listen to him. By all means it wasn’t because you weren’t interested, it's far from that. It’s just hard to control your fuzzy mind and have it focus on something emotional at this moment in time. He didn’t like the lack-of response he received, gracefully walking over and sitting next to your cocooned form.

     “(Y/N), honey. Please look at me.” You tear your gaze from the random spot you decided to zone out on and look into his gentle, cat shaped eyes. They were full of concern and distress. You almost hated how he could easily read you like an open book just by the way you act or look. 

     “Sweetie don’t start crying, I am far from mad at you. I just want you to talk to me, tell me what you feel.” Ricky takes no time in using his large thumb to brush away the tears that unknowingly fell from your lash line. He lets his long arms wrap around your figure, pulling you into his comforting lap. 

     The first thought you could even think of through the numerous tears was ‘why am I like this?’. Feeling disgusted with yourself, you choke out a sob harder and limply lay your head on his shoulder. You take your medicine day and night as prescribed, so why are you still feeling like a hollow doll that’s incapable of nothing? Even in the love of your life’s arms, you couldn’t feel an ounce of happiness.

     Ricky sensed this, pulling your chin up and bringing you into a sweet and gentle kiss as he whispers soft praises of how strong you are. “Hey hey hey, don’t work yourself up too much (Y/N). We both know we will feel like shit, and I’ll call Hanbin to let him know I can’t come in to practice because you are just sooo sad.” He gives a cute pout, tickling your sides in mockery. Through your tears, you let out a huff that quickly turns into a squeal. You quickly throw your fists up and start lightly punching him in his wide shoulders and chest in an attempt to get his fingers away from your sensitive sides.

     “The last thing I need is for you yelled at by mother, Shen Ricky.” You scold, feeling a breath of life flow through your veins. It was hard to be upset when he acts silly or in this case: say something utterly stupid and cute. He chuckles, noticing how you were starting to change right before his eyes. He knew he had to continue before you slip back. 

     “Well, I can always bring you to practice?” 

     “Ricky, WakeOne literally won’t let me, even if you beg.”

     You sit in silence before just snorting at his antics. You shimmy out of the blanket and take care to put it around you and him, straddling his lap so you can lay your head on his collarbone right under his chin. Soon your body melts as you go limp once more. Ricky quickly accepted this new position by wrapping his arms around your lower back snugly, giving many annoying kisses to your temples and forehead. He felt you changing again and wanted to halt the process. Deciding this was too annoying right now, you attempt to pull the blanket above your head. Not liking this, your boyfriend quickly grabs the blanket with his teeth and starts tugging on it playfully, tickling your sides ferociously.  

     “What are you, a dog?” 

     “Actually, I’m a cat.”

     You don’t waste a second to jab your hand in his side, hearing him whimper for you to let up and be gentle. He sighs, giving up and letting you hide under the soft fabric, rocking your curled up form that was on his lap. After being together for a while, he knew your limits and when to stop. You just wanted someone to physically be there for you today, so that’s what he will do. Slowly moving the blanket off the top of your head, he gently clears his throat to sing for you in his mother tongue. You voiced to him before you loved hearing him sing so comfortably in his first language and even encouraged him to teach you a few songs in Chinese. 

     Not soon after you were about to pull the blanket over your head, you heard his deep, breathy voice fill your ears. Stopping your current action, you tuck your hair behind your ears so you could hear him clearly (even if you couldn’t understand a single thing coming from his lips), and let your head lay heavy on his shoulder. Sure, Ricky could be a total annoying brat when he wanted to be, but times like this are when you are the most thankful for him. You felt at one of your lowest points and instead of running or simply saying, ‘suck it up’, he stuck around and tried to learn how to take care of you and cheer you up. He took his time learning your needs, favorite activities and foods, and even points of his personality you enjoyed the most. You were his rose, freshly bloomed and bright red with an addicting scent. His romance, the one that made his heart fall in his stomach and bounce of his rib cage with a simple stare and gentle laugh. If he could, you would be carried everywhere in his pocket wherever he traveled. Ricky truly loved you, just for who you are.

     Not a second after he finished the song, you were wiping tears. You didn’t know what tears they really were at this point. You felt numb, but you at least felt something now compared to earlier. Sitting up carefully, you rub your raw puffy eyes to attempt to see him. Blinking rapidly, you saw he had a gentle smile on, your second favorite smile. Nothing could beat his largest, brightest smile he gives when he is bursting with happiness. Leaning over, you connect your sore lips with his thick, plush ones. Ricky’s chest rumbled smoothly under your hands that were propping you up, humming with the small show of affection. 

     “That’s my girl, so pretty even when she is the saddest soul on the planet.” He coos, large hands once again cupping your jaw tenderly. His eyes were sparkling, looking like the softest pieces of boba you have laid your own eyes on. Everything that exuded him at this moment spoke of love and truth. You lay your smaller hands ontop of his, enjoying the warmth of them. 

     “Maomao, let’s go to bed...I’m just really tired after today.” You confess, guilt laced in your voice. His thumb brushed your lip to hush you, smiling sweetly. 

     “There is nothing wrong with that, my darling. Let’s get some good rest and wake up to a new day. Together.” Your boyfriend promises, gently moving his hands to securely hold your thighs as he stands up and starts walking to your shared bedroom. He lays you down like royalty on the bed, swinging you in properly and tucks you in. By the time you were able to focus your eyes, he vanished from the room. 

     After a few minutes, you hear a familiar rattle come down the hallway as he slips in the room once again. He kneels by the bed a water in hand, and a yellow tinted bottle with a white cap on top. Sleepily, you grab the bottle and twist it open, smiling when you see the water bottle already opened and offered towards you.

Cup. Pop. Gulp.

         Managing depression, sucks.

                               But Ricky makes it suck a lot less. 

[cinderswrites]

P R E T T Y :: 30 Fics in 30 Days

10518 / 30000 words. 35% done!

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ʚɞ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆⭒˚‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ʚɞ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆⭒˚‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ʚɞ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆⭒˚‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ʚɞ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

This challenge is something I made based off the 30k November challenge. I plan on writing one short story per day every day of November, and since I know I'll probably blow past the 30k mark, I changed the name.

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"Pretty" is a story about feeling unseen, losing motivation, and wanting to let your real self be shown to the world.

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WC: 1,958 :: CW: feelings of low self-esteem, possible dysphoria

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“God, can you believe that guy was all over me?”

The door to the hotel room opened as Link stepped through with one of his friends and co-workers, Anna. Their laughter echoed in the large suite as the both of them dumped their belongings onto one of the tables and sat on the couch. As they both settled in, pulling their phones out and checking their influencer accounts, Link looked up and studied her face for a moment.

“He didn’t like… touch you inappropriately, right?” he asked.

Anna looked up and shook her head, “No, he wasn’t handsy at least.”

That made him feel better. While Anna was a model just like him, she was more of the ‘girl next door’, Plain Jane type. He felt awful for even thinking that, but she was beautiful in that way. Meanwhile, he was considered the very definition of ‘pretty boy’, with his blond hair and baby blue eyes and perfect skin.

He stretched out and sank into the couch, letting the silence settle between them. They always shared a room when they were going to be shooting in the same city. It was a way to keep themselves safe, and also not to get too lonely while away from their respective hometowns. One of his tattooed hands reached up to brush through his golden locks as he checked his messages.

He had thousands of DMs from creepy men wanting to get to know him. They were all purely based on the pictures he posted, and the music he shared. That same disjointed feeling settled into him.

wow ur hot let’s hook up

hey baby

why don’t you come to my flat?

such a pretty face deserves to be-

He didn’t finish reading that particular message. By now, his blocked section in his settings held almost the same number of followers he had, which were approaching a million. Even without his influencer status, people tended to recognize him because he had modeled for several large and popular clothing store brands. His face was in every city.

He only became more popular when he started modeling for makeup brands. He was always used as a testament to how well a foundation could provide coverage, given his heavily tattooed body. Link reached up to fiddle with one of his Dahlia piercings, sighing.

“What’s up, buttercup?” Anna glanced at him over her phone.

“Nothing, just… god, I am so tired of all these jerks in my DMs trying to hit on me,” he frowned.

“Any good ones?” she snickered softly.

He rolled his eyes, “Oh, just the usual. ‘You’re hot’, ‘let’s hook up’, ‘I know what that pretty face can be used for’.”

Anna faked a gag, “How do you handle it?” she asked.

“Block,” he snorted. “Instantly. Then just move on from it, I guess.”

“Yeah, but it’s gotta be eating away at you,” she said this in a thoughtless way, her eyes returning to her own phone. “I don’t even get nearly as many messages as you.”

Link clenched his jaw a bit. While he liked rooming with Anna, she… had a tendency to be catty like that. He suddenly wasn’t in the mood to sit in the shared space with her anymore, “I’m gonna shower and probably head down to the lounge. See what’s up.”

“Cool. Call me if you need help or something. I’ll be up for a few hours yet,” she waved him off.

Link walked to his room and closed the door, leaning against it. He tossed his phone on the dresser and headed to his bathroom, turning on the water in the large walk-in shower. Steam filled the room as he slowly undressed. He looked at himself in the mirror, leaning in close to examine his face.

Still perfect.

S t i l l p r e t t y.

With a scowl, he turned away and walked into the shower, wincing at first for how hot the water was, but then he relaxed. Twenty minutes later, he was out and putting on a new set of clothes. A pair of well-fitted dark blue jeans, a black mesh shirt, and a teal plaid flannel buttoned up halfway. He dug through his little bag of jewelry, pulling out a silver chain to wear around his neck. He also put on some rings; they helped if he had to defend himself from any ‘touchers’.

He walked back to the bathroom and combed out his hair, leaving it to air dry. Once he was finished, he put his boots back on, grabbed the switchblade he always carried, and made sure he had his phone and wallet. He left the hotel suite and headed down to the lounge where there was a bar and people to mingle with if he was so inclined.

It was busy, of course. It was Friday night at an expensive resort hotel after all. He waded through throngs of bodies pressing close to each other, the sound of music thumping against his sensitive eardrums. He located the bar and moved to an emptier side of it, sitting on the stool and leaning forward with his arms on the bar top.

It didn’t take long before the bartender came around, asking him what he’d like to drink. “Whiskey and ginger ale,” he said. He was feeling a little more down than usual tonight.

As the bartender moved away to make his drink, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Pulling it out, he saw notifications for several new DMs. His full lips pursed together before he scoffed quietly and shoved the device back into his pocket. He wasn’t in the mood.

Once his drink was in front of him, he wrapped his slender hands around the glass, looking at the amber liquid inside. He took a slow drink, feeling the burn and fizz from the carbonation slide down his throat. His eyes were downcast as he tried not to focus on that disjointed feeling again.

Feeling like the whole world only saw him as eye candy. Someone spoiled with good looks and money to do whatever he wanted with. Someone who had no personality aside from pretty.

When all of it was far from the truth. So far he sometimes wondered what it would be like to reveal everything to the public. How he had been left on his father’s doorstep as a newborn and never knew his mother.

How his father had trained him in the art of combat using knives of different shapes and sizes. Crafting him into the perfect little killer he wanted him to be.

And how, after all that training, his father had abandoned him as well at fourteen. Leaving Lincoln Hayes to struggle to survive and to channel that training in order to get what he wanted and take care of himself.

He scoffed again, shaking his head, and took a larger drink this time.

“Oof, bad night, love?”

The familiar voice made him sit up straight and turn around with wide eyes. Behind him was a tall man with broad shoulders and dark hair that curled down around his neck. He had a hint of stubble on his face and kind brown eyes. “Ray,” he blinked. “What are you doing here?”

The man chuckled and walked forward to take a seat next to him, intentionally brushing his shoulder against the blond’s. “In town on business,” he said simply. “I know you like this chain of hotels, so I thought I’d stop by, see if you were here.”

“Oh…” Link turned back to looking down at the glass in his hands.

Ray was an affluent businessman who owned a chain of niche boutiques meant for the wealthy. They’d met when Ray hired Link for a modeling gig and became close during and after the shoot. They weren’t exactly a couple, but they weren’t… not a couple, either. It confused Link, but he didn’t want to trouble the older man with labels and questions.

He didn’t want to be that person.

Ray’s arm wrapped around Link, his hand rubbing the spot between his shoulder blades where he knew Link carried a lot of his stress. “Talk to me, love,” he said in that gentle but rumbling tone of his. “What’s going on?”

“I just… I don’t know. I’m wondering if modeling is even worth it anymore,” he admitted quietly.

“Why do you feel that way?” his friend—lover?—asked.

Link took another drink of his whiskey, thinking about it. “I feel like anyone who meets me just sees the ‘model’ and not ‘me’,” he stated, “and it… I don’t know. I sound like a child, but it hurts my feelings, you know? I’m not just a model…”

“You’re so much more than that,” Ray finished for him. He pulled the younger man against his side in a half-embrace, brushing his fingers through those soft golden tresses. “It’s not my place to say whether or not you should continue your work, but if you’re not finding joy in it anymore… then maybe it’s time for you to take a step back and re-evaluate what you want from yourself and out of life.”

He took in Ray’s words, his head resting against his shoulder, grateful for the comfort and attention he was giving him. If there was anyone in the world that he missed most when he was traveling to modeling jobs, it was Ray. The older man was always there for him when he was around, and not just in a physical way.

“… Thanks,” he murmured, “you always just show up and know what to say.”

“It helps when you always post about what city you’ll be working in,” Ray chuckled again, and the sound made Link close his eyes and wish he could wrap himself up in it.

“Stalker,” he mumbled.

Ray continued stroking his hair, a soft look on his face with a hint of amusement. “Only for you, love,” he murmured, turning to kiss the top of his head sweetly. “Would you like to come up to my room? Spend tonight with me.”

Link pulled away and looked at him, studying his face for a few seconds. “Are you just going to leave again in the morning like last time?” he knew he sounded like a spoiled brat, but he couldn’t help the way he wanted Ray to stay. Even if it was only temporary.

Ray moved his hand to pinch his cheek playfully, “Are you missing me that much?”

“Sugar, I miss you the moment you start walking away,” Link pouted, turning his face away.

“Hm,” Ray hummed, dropping his hand. He tilted his head, looking over Link’s sour expression. “Why don’t you leave with me? Accompany me on some business trips. Take a little break from all this. While you’re away, you can think more about what you want to do.”

Link looked at him in shock, his blue eyes widening. “Y-you mean that? Y-you want me… with you?” his tone was almost whisper-soft.

Ray smiled at him, nodded. “Guess I’ve been missing you just as much, love,” he reached for Link’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Link had to bite the inside of his lip to keep it from trembling. He looked away as his eyes became watery and gave a little nod, “… Yeah. I would love to join you.”

“Then it’s settled. We’ll collect your things from your room in the morning,” Ray got off the stool and gently pulled Link to his feet. “Come on, let’s get comfortable and watch a movie or something. Just relax tonight, okay?”

Link stepped closer, hugging Ray around the waist and nuzzling his face into his shoulder. The man always knew just what he needed. “Okay.”

[tojiscrack]

HELLO WIFEY IM BACK.

before i go to our regularly scheduled shitbag content, LETS TAKE A MOMENT FOR THE NEW CHAPTER OF LIAR LIAR???

HELLO I LOVED IT SMMMMMM

I AM SO GLAD THAT GOJO CLOCKED SUKUNA'S TEA! i cannot wait to see the future dynamics that come from this

ALSO Y/N SITTING ON GOJO'S SHOULDERS IS SO ADORABLE I LOVED IT

i was also so grateful to not have to read kamo speak in this chapter. brought me much joy. even tho Y/N'S BITCH ASS WAS SPENDING TOO MCUH TIME WITH HIM.

but i was very glad that megumi is starting to show more interest in her semi romantically.

now if you tear this away from me, i will hunt you down and shiv you when you least expect it.

for legal reasons, this is a joke.

I AM SO VERY EXCITED FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS!!!!

now back to our regularly schedule programming.

'like you seem sceptical but it’s not BAD 😫'

uh huh... sure... tbf i dont like beans

'i’ve never tried a desi breakfast ☹️ but i don’t doubt that it tastes great! it looks really good too 👀'

it's so yummy

'DON’T BE SURPRISED WHEN I SLIDE INTO UR DMS INTERROGATING YOU ABOUT THE AMERICAN GRADING SYSTEM 😫🫶🏽'

YES OMGGGGGGG I GOTCHUUUU

'but i just don’t think shin ramen is for me'

NONONO U CANT MIX THINGS UP THE FIRST TIME U TRY IT!!!

lemme put u onto a recipe

so, ur gonna just cook the noodles from the shin ramen with about a cup and a half of water. then, ur gonna take a bit of that water and add it to some peanut butter. hey hey hey stay with me now. trust my process. then, mix in the seasoning packet. and then add it to the noodles and let it simmer for a tiny bit of time. AND THEN BAM. banger noodles.

'ok but we also know that kay comes into my inbox every other day to chat shit about you 🌝'

this is the most british sentence ive seen in my life BUT YES U ARE RIGHT

'me personally, i think you should cut him off completely 😬 block button is free + he has a gf so i think just out of respect for that (even if he himself doesn’t respect that) you should do ur part by untangling urself from any of that 🫡'

see the issue here is, before we had our situationship, he was my guy best friend. and we have MANY mutual friends and are in tons of gc together. it just wouldn't work out to block him. thats the rlly annoying part.

'HOW IS HE EVEN PULLING YOU AND THAT OTHER GIRL?? 😭'

I HAVE NO CLUE. IT'S TERRIBLE

'start ur life anew (without him) and let him wonder how his life would’ve been sm better with you in it if he had treated you right and been a better person 😋'

I WISH BRO

'i’d hate to see how you’d behave with a girl you DON’T like 💀'

lowk bro acts the same LMAOOO

also i realized this today but part of the reason why i think he didnt tell me ab him and his ex getting back tgth is he knew i HATED his ex LMAOOO

'however, you should never rely on a man for his money, being financially dependent is a necessity'

oh of course not queen. i am a cs baddie on the rise. we both go to a college prep school. relying on him for money was never an option 😋😋😋😋

'everyone’s too busy caring about themselves to do anything about it :)'

our grade is so tiny we have nothing better to do than talk ab other ppl i fear....

and when i say our grade is tiny, i mean it. like most public schools have graduating classes of like

ehh 500 or so.

our graduating class is going to be 70 people.

'not until you wipe ur mouth from that indirect kiss from that THING you call a man 😐'

I STARTED CACKLING HELLO

'tojis bumcrack ‘cause i find that hilarious HAHAHA 😭😭'

YES OMG THATS WHAT I WAS HOPING IT WAS

'‘cause we’re exchanging cute nicknames but then he’s come back to ruin it :/'

i think shitbag for u in my asks is like kamo for me in ur story 😋😋😋

'DO NOT INVITE HIM TO UR PARTY 🌝'

THE ISSUE IS IVE TOLD HIM AB IT A LOT....

so the new shitbag lore is that

in a gc i have w him and some of my close friends, i was complaining about not having a bf and how i want one so bad.

and i get a call. i do not see who it is. i assume it's my mother bc it's late at night and i'm making too much noise. i answer the phone.

it's shit bag.

he turns the call into a ft and screenshares our school's directory, asking me what i think of every guy on the thing.

i think he's trying to set me up with one of them.

we narrow it down to the only two guys in my grade i'd consider being even slightly attracted to.

he decides to add a third guy to this list.

for this, there is more lore u must know.

back when me and shitbag were just bsfs, i rlly liked one of shitbag's friends. lets call him niceguy. niceguy, like his name, was rlly nice and rlly funny. and i've known him since 2nd grade bc we went to the same elementary and middle school.

and i started liking niceguy this summer bc i worked with him at a summercamp. it was lots of fun. and i ended up inviting him to my bday party and he came and we got a picture tgth which ended up being rlly cute.

i would talk to shitbag a lot ab niceguy, asking for advice and shit.

and then one day, i am looking through my phone. and at this point, we had our homecoming dance within 2 weeks of the present day. and i was rlly hoping niceguy would ask me bc we texted a lot and talked a lot in person. and a lot of ppl rlly thought he might like me back.

but as i'm going through instagram, i see his story is him, one of my not so close friends, and a hoco proposal sign.

i am torn. i am distraught. i have a 4 hour ft call with shitbag to discuss it.

and niceguy and the friend i'm not so close with start dating from that day forward.

after a month or so, they break up.

and that is why, shitbag wants me to add niceguy back to the list.

where was i going with this? uhhhh... oh right. so shitbag ended up fting me for too damn long going through our directory.

and then i told him i was gonna go sleep (WHICH I WAS QUITE PROUD OF BC WHEN I LIKED HIM, I WOULD STAY UP AND FT WHENEVER HE ASKED AND WOULD WAIT TIL HE WANTED TO SLEEP LMAOO)

and i havent texted him since!

now, on better news. i am currently replaying mystic messenger. i do not know if u know this game but i played it when iw as 13 and i am feeling very nostalgic as of late so i had to hop back on the game. i am having much fun and i think this is part of the reason why i havent been texting shitbag back.

god bless for fictional men!

anyways how is your life going wifey?

i think this may be the last of the shitbag updates so shorter asks coming soon!

LMAOOO

bye pookie

HI HI HELLO <3

‘I AM SO GLAD THAT GOJO CLOCKED SUKUNA'S TEA!’ — can you tell i’m a very biased gojo stan? 😋‼️ sukuna lovers are in enemy territory rn i’m jk, like yeah i hate that thing with a PASSION, but idc if you love no-neck-ed LMAOO

‘ALSO Y/N SITTING ON GOJO'S SHOULDERS IS SO ADORABLE I LOVED IT’ — i HAD to implement dadjo in the series bc as much as his relationship with the characters in canon was more like a fun older brother looking out for his students, he’s so father coded, specifically during the exchange event in s1 of jjk 😫 like his behaviour was sooo embarrassing-dad-supporting-his-kids (and the fit looked delicious like yum yum i’m eating well tonight 😁)

‘i was also so grateful to not have to read kamo speak in this chapter. brought me much joy’ — HELP HE’S JUST A GUY WITH A CRUSH 😭 the kamo hate is so funny yet i feel so bad for him 💀 but keep ‘em coming, it still lowkey brings me joy HAHAHA

‘even tho Y/N'S BITCH ASS WAS SPENDING TOO MCUH TIME WITH HIM’ — girl any more of the y/n criticism from you and i’m gonna start to think you hate our poor mc 🫵🏽😟🫷🏽

but just to be clear, it was just a tutoring session with kamo. they weren’t hanging-out-hanging-out, iygwim?

‘if you tear this away from me, i will hunt you down and shiv you when you least expect it’ — 🌝

i’ve been keeping my windows and doors locked SINCE the malakai hate train started a couple months ago, ‘cause i knew that if that poor emo kid was getting hate ‘cause of a random ANON who started shipping him and y/n (they’ve still yet to reveal themselves 🤨) then the kamo hate would rise astronomically from the very same ppl 😭

now with that threat, i humbly remind you of the ‘angst’ tag 🌝 no comment on anything after that

‘for legal reasons, this is a joke’ — i sURE HOPE SO??? 😭

‘I AM SO VERY EXCITED FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS!!!!’ — IAISNWISNWIEJ ME TOO, but unfortunately, at some point from here and up until june, there are gonna be super slow updates :( i’ll address that another time tho! <3

now for the rest of the askkk :)

there’s a problem with ur shin ramen recipe…

i am (unfortunately) a very picky eater. and i hate peanut butter ☹️ but you probably already guessed that with the ‘hey hey hey stay with me now’ 🥴 i’m sorry, peanut butter is vile

shin ramen is just not for me ig 🥲

now as for shitbag… ik you mention that you guys have mutual friends and are in several gc’s tgth, so maybe blocking him is just not possible here, but giving him clipped responses when he texted and declining face-times is very much possible, i believe 😁 get away from that sad excuse of a human being kay, PLS

like you can text him when he texts you first (the italics here are important) but make sure they’re very simple responses, nothing he can use as an opportunity to build on. and 4hr face-times are a nO NO.

absolutely no.

he has a gf, you are not his gf, and even if you DESPISE who he’s currently with, be the better person and leave it 😭

there! problem solved! 😋

‘also i realised this today but part of the reason why i think he didnt tell me ab him and his ex getting back tgth is he knew i HATED his ex’ — hmmm, this tells me a lot about him already 💀 i’m sorry kay, i do NOT like this imposter who-entered-earth-without-a-visa 😐

‘I STARTED CACKLING HELLO’ — HAHAHA 😭 i’m dead serious. i don’t like that guy. i even feel like ‘shitbag’ as a name for him is a compliment, if anything.

‘i think shitbag for u in my asks is like kamo for me in ur story😋😋😋’ — FREEZE 🤨🤚🏽

i don’t not support kamo hate, but i don’t support it either. and yet, this one sentence is the only kamo-hate-sentence that lowkey has me tweaking.

do not compare our respectful-nonchalant-dreadhead-kamo to that bin-juice-of-a-human-being-SHITBAG. EVER 🤢

‘so the new shitbag lore is that’ — STOP ✋🏽 HALT 🛑

did i forget to mention that i DETEST shitbag with my whole entire being?

‘and then i told him i was gonna go sleep (WHICH I WAS QUITE PROUD OF BC WHEN I LIKED HIM, I WOULD STAY UP AND FT WHENEVER HE ASKED AND WOULD WAIT TIL HE WANTED TO SLEEP LMAOO)’ — CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 🥳 WE LOVE TO SEE IT

ok good, you’re not longer texting that unique-breed-of-human-kind, got my first point out of the way real quick. don’t ever text him unless he texts you

secondly, niceguy’s available. probably the only thing i agree with shitbag with. you should get with niceguy :)

my personal opinion that i have rooted to the core is to stay single forever and ever, marry fictional men and die in love with them, ‘cause that’s been my plan for as long as i can remember and look at me: no situationships, no drama, no SHITBAGS 🤭

‘now, on better news’ — YESSS

‘i do not know if you know this game’ — i’m not aware of it. even when i looked it up, i was a little confused haha. i was a moviestarplanet, stardoll, baby hazel, moshi monsters, bin weevils, purble place, club penguin, sarah’s cooking class, papa’s freezeria, pizzaria, hotdogaria (etc), roblox girly through and through 🥴

but i am super glad you are starting to find enjoyable things to look back on that take you away from the negative doom-cloud that is shitbag! 😙 idek you irl but that genuinely makes me so happy for youuuu <3

‘god bless for fictional men!’ — ameen 🌝

‘anyways how is your life going wifey?’ — ugh, don’t even get me started 😀 i’m living vicariously through you, honestly 😭

‘i think this may be the last of the shitbag updates so shorter asks coming soon!’ — THEY CAN STILL BE LONG, I LOVE HEARING ABOUT UR DAY AND STUFF AND GETTING TO KNOW YOU, but i’m glad shitbag will no longer be the centre of our conversations (literally who does he think he is, starring as a mc in MY blog)

I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAYYY ;)

[jormofyore]

Sex and RPGS

As it currently stands, I regularly run two games and play in one, and one thing I’ve noticed is that my players in one of the games I run are H-O-R-N-Y. I have no idea what truly inspired this, but between the Champion of Urgathoa arranging an orgy every time she gets the chance, the automaton bard with replaceable parts, and the unassuming psychic who is constantly propositioning the Nagaji prostitute, the party never ceases to find anyone to seduce. And this isn’t the usual bard seduces dragon situation where it’s meant to circumvent or subdue the plot, but just them saying “Hey, we’re in a town that has people, right? How many of them wanna have sex.” Now, I’ve rarely shied away from a little roleplay, but it’s caught me a little off-guard at how randy everyone has suddenly gotten and how much they wish to voice it. I’m certainly not complaining, but it’s a funny situation to me.

Now, this isn’t to say I’ve not played my fair share of sexually charged characters. Heck, one of these characters has inspired a book I’m currently writing, a certain Suli Swashbuckler of Callistria. Or how about Sir Zarkzakut, the gnomish wizard who would frequently trade sex for spells along with frequent flings with party members, who was also a fan favourite of a few of my fellow players. There are more, some polyamorous, some prostitutes, and some just general context horny, so I’m no stranger being a part of this phenomena. However, back to my players, where their sudden obsession with sex has come from, I couldn’t tell you. But it’s been fun seeing them feel like they can be free with this kind of roleplay though, and that nobody is judging them or holding them back from fulfilling their urges, and this plays into a valuable lesson in roleplaying characters: don’t hinder the growth of players wanting to explore the world and themselves.

I’ve, personally, never enjoyed reining in characters that want to RP. I once played an Orc Paladin of Heironious, Sir Bastard Arstrak, who frequented brothels because, one, he loved having sex, and two, because he wanted to protect the vulnerable and downtrodden, making sure they got paid properly but also that they knew they were loved. The DM absolutely endorsed this behaviour, but there was a player in the party who was obsessed with what Lawful Good meant, especially as a paladin of a god of honour and valour, and he was constantly raining on my parade of sexual fun because “Prostitution is illegal in the real world” or some other weird logic about Paladins having to follow some obscure code of honour. It was confusing as hell to me, because one, the DM saw no issue with it, and two, it’s a fantasy game where sometimes the rules differ from the real world. Y’know, among other countless arguments we had. Oh yeah, he’s now playing the previously mentioned automaton, Gender the Social Construct, so I guess prudes aren’t eternal.

Point is, let your players have fun, but make sure everyone is comfortable about it. RP is great and doesn’t need to be explicit or in-depth to maintain an aura of realism to be enjoyable. Obviously, there are disclaimers with including sex in your game, but at the same time, with how readily games embrace violence in them, maybe a little bedroom heat is what you need to cool heads and hearts alike.

[logically-asexual]

i have no idea what it is like to have such a following as Thomas does so im probably speaking out of turn and my opinion is wrong but. speaking purely as a fan myself, i can’t help putting myself in the shoes of the people Thomas replies to saying stuff like this (by “this” mean like the reply above and those replies where he has expressed disapproval of criticism or questions about how long the next video will take x x)

one thing here is alright. i like that he said they shouldn’t “tag him” in stuff like this instead of just vaguely implying that they shouldn’t tweet stuff like this at all, like he has done in other occasions. so that’s good. i think it’s fair for people to post whatever they want but to also expect them to not tag the creator in comments that aren’t wanted.

however i don’t like that he’s suggesting that a single tweet like this can make his skin condition worse? im not defending the original tweet because i can see how it sounds very insensitive considering thomas’s situation. but im speaking only about thomas’s response and. like maybe if you’re getting so worked up about a single tweet (when you’re a social media personality that probably gets tagged in hundreds of posts daily) and it gives you the amount of stress that can physically affect your health then you should maybe work on that yourself? because social media is what it is and rude comments aren’t going anywhere.

if i am wrong, though, and the right thing to do is that all fanders be careful of what they say because Thomas can’t help what tweets he sees because he gets tagged in them and also bc the twitter algorithm is annoying, and if for certain criticisms it’s certainly best to try our best keep them away from him because they’ll directly hurt him then ! i still think! that he should NOT target the individual person in public by replying to their tweet and telling them off there.

i think (again, speaking as a fan, putting myself in other fans’ shoes and thinking that this could happen to me) i think that he should post his own PSA saying “please don’t tag me in comments about x or y” and/or dm the person directly to tell them that the tweet hurt him and to not do that in the future.

because even if a tweet is rude and insensitive, the one posting it wasn’t asking for thomas to bring it

- thousands of views and a bunch of unwanted comments

- who knows how many angry fans telling them off for what they did or being passive aggressive in thomas’s comments

- a bad reputation in the fandom as “that person thomas had to call out because they were rude to him”

- the guilt of apparently personally worsening Thomas’s stress and health problems, said by Thomas himself.

i don’t think those are fair consequences to writing a poorly worded, insulting tweet. maybe it’s just me but i think it’s too much.

[metalmonki]

Dear Darlin'

Olly Murs X Reader

1.6k word count

Summary Just a little back story to the song Dear Darlin'

Authors Note: I've always been super proud of this piece. I decided it was time to give it some love and attention and well I'm even more proud of it now. I suffered some pretty bad neck, nose and throat burns at work so thought now while I recover is probably the best time to concentrate on writing. So enjoy!

Y/N,

I know what I’ve done, and there is no excuse for it. I know there is nothing I could ever do to fix the damage I’ve caused. I just need you to know that I’m sorry. I’m not asking you to come back; I just need you to understand that you’ve always been my everything. Always have been, always will be. But you’re gone now, and you’re not coming back. I need to accept that and move on. So, this is the last you'll hear from me. Goodbye, my love.

Dear darlin’, please excuse my writing.

I can’t stop my hands from shaking.

‘Cause I’m cold and alone tonight.

And I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.

And no one understands what we went through.

It was short, it was sweet, we tried.

I read the words over and over, my hands trembling as I held the letter. I had barely stepped into my flat thirty minutes ago when I found it waiting for me, the unmistakable scrawl of his handwriting cutting through me like a knife. It had been a month since we ended things, and every day had been a battle—some days, I thought I was moving on, while others, he consumed my thoughts. His face was everywhere: on magazine covers, in store windows, his voice pouring through the radio. Our breakup had become a public spectacle, and everyone had their own theories. None of them were right.

We were in love. Madly, hopelessly in love. But his career, the constant traveling, the distance—it chipped away at us until there was barely anything left. I thought we were strong enough, that I was strong enough. The fans had always been supportive; as long as Olly was happy, they were happy. And we were happy, weren’t we? Until the rumors started.

@FutureMissY/NMurs I hope the rumors about Olly aren’t true.

@FutureMissY/NMurs Remember, Photoshop exists. Don’t believe anything until you talk to him.

@FutureMissY/NMurs We’re here for you, girl. DM us anytime.

I had reassured everyone I would talk to him when he got back from tour. Today was supposed to be that day. Maybe that was why he had been out drinking last night. I sat on the couch, staring at my phone, my mind racing through everything we had built together—our Loft, the home we made from nothing. The walls we painted light brown because white felt too clinical, the mix of new and old furniture, the kitchen we replaced with our own hands. It was ours.

The sound of the front door opening jolted me from my thoughts.

“Y/N, I’m home!”

There he stood, bag in hand, that smile that once made my heart race plastered on his face.

“Please tell me it’s not true,” I whispered, a tear slipping down my cheek despite my efforts to stay composed.

He frowned, stepping toward me. “What do you mean, darlin’?”

I inhaled sharply, my heart hammering. “The girl last night. The one you were photographed kissing.” My voice wavered, rising slightly, unintentionally.

His expression fell in an instant. “Shit.”

He dropped his bag outside the bathroom and moved toward me, rubbing a hand down his face.

“Tell me you didn’t,” I pleaded, my world beginning to crumble.

“I’m so sorry.” He reached for me.

I flinched back. “Don’t touch me.”

“Babe, listen. It was a mistake. A stupid, drunken mistake. It meant nothing.” His voice cracked, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Did you sleep with her?” My voice was barely above a whisper, shaking with rage.

He swallowed hard. “I... I don’t remember.”

“You did, didn’t you?” My chest tightened. “How did I not see this coming? You’re famous now, and you can have any girl you want. How many more are there?”

“It was a one-time thing. I swear.” His voice rose in desperation.

“I don’t believe you, Olly.”

His jaw clenched. “Why would I throw everything away? Everything I do, I do for us. Can’t you see that? Or are you too damn stubborn?”

I let out a bitter laugh. “Stubborn? You cheated on me!”

“And what about you? Who’s the guy you’ve had here?”

I froze. “How do you know about that?”

“Ah, so you have been cheating too,” he scoffed, as if he'd won some twisted game.

“No,��� I whispered. “He’s a friend. His girlfriend kicked him out. I let him stay on the couch for a few nights.”

Silence stretched between us. Then, without another word, I grabbed my jacket and walked out.

For weeks, I stayed with a friend until I found my own place. And now, here I was, gripping his letter, my heart warring with itself. I needed to see him. Needed to know if this letter was closure or a plea.

I drove the familiar streets, the radio humming softly until his name cut through the static.

“After months of hiatus following his public breakup, Olly Murs has released a new single. The trending theory? It’s about his ex. Here it is again—‘Dear Darlin’.’”

I turned up the volume. The lyrics echoed his letter. He had written me a song. Tears blurred my vision as memories washed over me—our late nights, his voice singing me to sleep, our shared dreams.

And if my words break through the wall And meet you at your door All I could say is, "Girl, I mean them all"

Dear Darlin', please excuse my writing I can't stop my hands from shaking 'Cause I'm cold and alone tonight I miss you and nothing hurts like no you And no one understands what we went through It was short, it was sweet, we tried We tried

It had been a long day. We had rearranged furniture until we were happy with how everything looked, unpacked boxes of clothes, plates, cups, and all the little odds and ends that made a place feel like home. We hung pictures, set up lamps, and finally, the Loft felt like ours.

By the end of it all, we were exhausted. It had been a rough few weeks, but at last, we were done. I took a quick shower, letting the hot water ease the ache in my muscles, then stepped into the bedroom. Olly was already lying on the bed, hands folded behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

I crossed the room and crawled onto the bed beside him, resting my head on his chest. One of his arms instinctively wrapped around me, pulling me closer. I closed my eyes, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat—strong and comforting, like a melody lulling me to sleep.

He knew I was tired. Without a word, he began to sing, his voice soft and familiar. "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. His chest vibrated with each note, a sensation that sent warmth through me. I sighed, letting myself sink into the moment, into him.

Sleep pulled at me, and I let it take me. I could always listen to him sing another day.

Like at his audition next week.

Been thinkin' about the bar we drank in Feeling like the sofa was sinking I was warm in the hope of your eyes

So if my words break through the wall To meet you at your door All I could say is, "Girl, I mean them all"

“Here’s to Olly, our next big X Factor star!” His dad raised a glass, pride gleaming in his eyes.

We all cheered, the sound filling the small restaurant. Olly had crushed his audition—four yeses. The only thing better would have been a golden buzzer. We had known he would do it. That was one of the things that had drawn me to him in the first place—his voice. It wasn’t just the sound, it was the way it could reach into the deepest parts of you and make you feel something real.

Tonight was all about him. We started with a family dinner, full of laughter and excitement, before heading out with friends to celebrate. We ended up in our usual spot—a worn-out sofa in the back corner of the bar, slightly hidden from view. It was just us, like always.

Jokes flew about how, once Olly was a big star, he’d be the one paying for all our drinks. I curled into his side, soaking in the warmth of the moment, the banter, the joy.

All I could hope was that he would take me on this journey with him.

When I arrived at the Loft, doubt clawed at me. What if he had moved on? What if he wrote the song for publicity? Or worse—what if this letter was a goodbye I was too late to answer?

I swallowed my fear and knocked. No answer. My shaking fingers fumbled for the spare key I still carried. When I stepped inside, the sight before me shattered me. The man I once knew, always polished, always glowing, was gone. In his place was someone broken—beard unkempt, dark circles haunting his eyes, empty bottles strewn across the floor.

His breath hitched as he saw me. I held up the letter, my voice breaking. “I read your letter. I heard the song.” I swallowed my tears. “I love you, Olly. More than I should right now. I’m not saying I can trust you completely yet, but I’m willing to try. I need you to tell me we can fix this. That you won’t leave me behind.”

He stepped closer, his voice raw. “Y/N, you’re my world. Without you, everything is dark. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“I’ve missed you,” I whispered.

“I’ve missed you too, Y/N.”

And then, I was in his arms, right where I belonged.

Dear darlin', please excuse my writing I can't stop my hands from shaking 'Cause I'm cold and alone tonight I miss you and nothing hurts like no you And no one understands what we went through It was short, it was sweet, we tried

Oh, I concur These arms are yours to hold

[maladaptvs]

maladaptvs watto breakdown 🫡

(long rant, a dash of venting) (whoops)

i CAN’T hate mark watson - not in a, “oh but he ___,” “but he’s so nice,” “but he does ___ for people,” “but-anything” way. i can’t stand that sort of talk. i can’t hate mark watson because my mental health can’t TAKE IT.

because if i hate mark watson and if i believe for a second (and i have already believed for many seconds) that al and tim KNEW, um. i. UM. BYE ?? like bye ???? goodbye ?????????

idk i’ll process maybe i’ll hear that they (mark and emily) hated each other the whole time and i’ll feel better (but they didn’t. so.)

and if this was like oh whoops one time i cheated :\ honestly ? i’m not affected (as much) like wow that sucks that’s awful but you might feel bad now and you might understand so maybe it’ll be okay ! maybe you’re just human and you live now with that regret xo

you- you can’t ?? three years ????? i’m so upset this should be on my vent account but it IS and it’s not HELPING. how do you have an affair for three years without your friends knowing. how do you have a child with you wife and continue. and why??? like ? w h y.

gonna say something definitely controversial but in my midst of “this is what my father did, why is this man my father, why would he do this, how am i meant to feel about it,” etc. a thought i had was. this is selfish of him to say. and for many reasons that’s wrong. but for another, yeah. it is. cause people love you. and people send you dm’s when they’re suicidal because you’ve offered that. and you wrote a book that made me feel better about wanting to die since i was eight. you’re meant to be a feminist and an ally. and now it’s all. ugh. it feels a lot like a betrayal, and i’ll say again, it’s hugely because he gave me hope for men and relationships with them. and now it’s like. no. that’s just the same. he’s just the same. and it feels a lot like everything he’s said for a long time is bs. if mark watson can do that to someone wtf am i supposed to think about everyone else??

+ ALSO ? maybe this isn’t true maybe i haven’t thought about it long enough but right now i think honestly i would be MUCH less upset if it was ALEX. just because. mark is. really important to me. as just. idk a figure. of serotonin. and is someone i relate to so fucking much. and is someone who has been valuable to me in terms of coping with Being Alive and Having Experiences. and once more i will say a beacon of hope for cis men everywhere. guess not, guess not.

if she weren’t even pregnant i’d be less upset. you can’t watch someone go through that and keep fucking cheating on them.

+ another thoughts update now that i can think, it’s selfish because he’s sharing the burden of his guilt.

you could’ve sat with that forever and dealt with it yourself but instead what he’s done is toss it out into the world and disconnect himself from the reality of it. you could say he’s “holding himself accountable,” and i say no! no he’s not. i know - i know - what it means to give the blame away and i know the relief in telling people, because now it’s on their mind, and out of mine. holding himself - anyone’s self accountable is NOT sharing what you’ve done with the world. not only because it’s just a way of escaping blame as it eats away at you, but because, um ?? hello ???? you also told the world what you did to your wife! because believe it or not, there’s more than one person in this equation!

and - and i’m tearing up again here i go - what i’m even MORE fucked up by ? HIS FUCKING KIDS. the world knows your dad had an affair WHILE YOU WERE BORN. WHILE YOU WERE MADE. the world knows his child was 1, a fluke, and probably a regret. and 2, something born to a loveless marriage and an absolute betrayal <3

fuck that shit

fuck it fuck him maybe i can’t think straight

just fucking angry

don’t even care if you didn’t love your fucking wife, although i care immensely about the fact you WERE STILL FUCKING HER and DIDNT STOP CHEATING WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT, i care THE MOST about your KIDS. i am that kid !!! it’s awful !!!!!!!!! everyone in my family is a cheating alcoholic!!!!! mark is a cheating alcoholic !!!!!!!!! i identified, unbeknownst to me, with a cheating alcoholic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+ alSO. i stay away from idolizing real people FOR THIS FUCKING REASON. but “they’re safe! they’re good!” SIKE. betrayal 👎

+ HA. HA. HA HA HA. HA.

i’m buying the bastards book so he can explain his damn self (because FUCK he’s important to me and i hate this). and again i cannot. i just. all his friends ?? does he realize he’s jeopardized all of their reputations???

mark you’ve jeopardized all your friends (and book reviewers) reputations <3 i hate you for it <3 never ever make me question tim again <3 (i’m comforted now by something that used to upset me: marks ostracized relationship with alex and tim. that makes sense now, why you’re the extra friend.) (xo)

+ “if mark watson can do that, every man will do that and no one will ever love me enough to not do that” yeah so um my heart is broken ? he broke it ?

+ what am i supposed to ?? how am i supposed to comfort myself if my comfort media is the source of my dysregulated emotions ??? wtf <3

+ i had big issues with mark after seeing him on richard herrings (don’t like him either) LSTP. he talks a lot about porn and a bit about cheating on a spouse with a robot ? i won’t watch it again to quote anything but that was. bad.

it made me happy to see tim avoiding this behavior while on LSTP a couple times. (i seem to think richard lures people into behaving like shit around him)

+ i still feel awful. luckily for the internet i’m keeping it all here. i feel so fucking sick about tim and alex. three years mark did that to his wife. while still fucking her. and while she was pregnant. and they’re all friends. and i feel sick.

+ maybe i need to look at his face again and try to uhhhhhh simply forget about it